#You know they’d die for each other and make jokes about death and daddy issues

[betterthanbatman1]

Umm I love them???

[therenlover]

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

A/n: In the wake of recent life garbage, I have neglected to write a whole fic, and I’m sorry. In the interim, please enjoy this writing exercise I have put together in the hopes of nailing some characters I haven’t written for in the past in time for a larger project I’m working on! Cheers!

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, and Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Mild Misogyny, Mentions of Alcohol/Alcoholism, Mentions of Mental Illness, Non-Graphic Mentions of Death, Minor Spoilers for The Alienist Season One, Minor Spoilers for Goodbye, Lenin!, Spoilers for Rush (2013), Minor Spoilers for The Cloverfield Paradox maybe??? I haven’t actually seen the whole movie, blame Wikipedia if things are wrong. 

Laszlo Kreizler

NO

As the first of all of the Dannys to be put through the ringer, Laszlo Kreizler unfortunately would not survive a holiday with my family.

First of all, this man does not like massive huggy kissy crowds, so he’d already be off his game the second he walked into the packed house. That’s not why he’d die though, surprisingly.  

His downfall would be his status as an Alienist. 

There is simply so much mental illness and childhood trauma present at my family holidays that he would combust within 15 minutes of sitting in a room with all of my relatives.

Even if he were to somehow make it past the introductory phase, my family is nosey as hell, so they’d be grilling him about his arm and his own childhood trauma within the first hour. 

Laszlo, for all of his strength, simply wouldn’t be able to withstand it.

His death wouldn’t come from the initial combustion though. No, it’s not that simple. 

Knowing Laszlo, once he had combusted and entirely lost his composure the first time, he would become extremely intrigued about the interconnected nature of everyones issues with each other and he would start asking questions. 

That’s where the problems would begin. 

Because it’s one thing if my drunk great aunt starts badmouthing her sister at the table for abandoning her 90 year old mother for a lake house with her new boyfriend. That’s fine. 

But when Laszlo hops in and starts picking apart the mommy issues and underlying reasons for their decades long sibling rivalry? 

Oh it would be over for him. 

The yelling would never end. 

And, I have no doubt that Laszlo would start to psychoanalyze whoever started to yell at him, which would only lead to more yelling. 

In the end, someone would throw a probably full and probably fresh out of the oven casserole dish at his head and he’d be unable to defend himself because of his weak arm. 

We’d have to cart him out in a wheelchair and even if he were to technically survive, he’d never come back. 

Therefor, Laszlo Kreizler would fall victim to my family and die before we even got to dessert. 

Alex Kerner

YES

Ah, little baby Alex! A great contender here for holiday survival.

He seems relatively young in comparison to most of the Dannys on this list, though I don’t actually know how old he’s supposed to be. 

Based on his relative youth, he would automatically get points with the fam for not seeming like a creep or sugar daddy. Instead, he could be just about any dude I brought home from college. 

His skillset as a semi-skilled laborer would also earn him some points, seeing as several members of the family are in similar professions.

Alex might get lost in some of the more complex conversations about the local organic scene or the fine details of running a fine art gallery, but he would fit right in with the majority of the younger members of the family, smiling and nodding his way through the conversation. 

His enthusiasm and optimism would brighten the room and leave everyone excited to see him around again. 

There’s also the semi-small detail of him caring for his mother, which would earn sympathy from the older members of the family as they are in charge of caring for my deaf, blind great grandmother. 

Now, all of these aspects have already set Alex up for a successful survival of a holiday dinner with my family, but the real secret weapon he has up his sleeve is what really cements him in place as a survivor. 

What is his secret weapon, you may ask?

Lies.

Alex Kerner is really, really good at lying, and is even better at figuring out increasingly convoluted ways to keep his lies straight. 

If he managed to hide to fuckin’ Berlin Wall coming down from his mother for as long as he did, he could keep a couple of white lies up for appearances if he was asked any potentially embarrassing or weird questions that would make him look bad. 

He could also lie about enjoying my great aunt’s cooking, which is a vital skill for holiday survival in my family. 

Therefor, at the end of the day, Alex Kerner would not only survive a holiday with my family, but he’d probably enjoy it and get invited back for every subsequent holiday he could possibly attend. 

Niki Lauda

NO

Niki is another Danny that falls very firmly into the category of characters that would absolutely not survive a holiday with my family, for many, many reasons. 

First of all, just like Laszlo, Niki is not huge on going to big huggy kissy parties. 

Both adults and children would be all over him the second he walked in the door, which would probably make Niki get very uncomfortable and cagey. 

Little does he know at that point that people aren’t just all over you when you get in the door. 

No, no, no; from the moment you show up to the moment you leave, if you’re at a holiday with my family you are being basically accosted with questions and hugs and conversations that get weirdly personal. 

It doesn’t help that the whole entire house is packed and there are eyes on you at every moment, so he wouldn’t even be able to sneak in a break for air or a cigarette. 

If my own mother can’t sneak out for a smoke when she’s been going to these events her whole life, the new guy who’s still being vetted by the family sure as hell won’t be able to either.

Needless to say, Niki would start to get really, really tired of it all in an hour tops. I’ll give him until dinner at most. 

That’s where things would start getting really sticky.

See, a lovely little fact about the Niki Lauda that lives in my brain, as portrayed by Daniel Bruhl in Rush (2013), is that he’s just a little bit misogynistic. No more than would be period typical, but a little misogynistic.

Another fun little important thing to note is that my family is entirely matriarchal in nature. 

There are only 4 reoccurring male guests at family holidays out of about 20 to 25 guests at each event; My great aunt’s husband of many, many years, the two male siblings my mother has that live in the area, and the young son of one of those siblings. 

Men, specifically boyfriends, simply do not last in my family. They are considered pretty disposable and easily banned from family events after breakups or small mishaps. 

So, not only would Niki not have any other manly men there to chat about sports with over a scotch and a cigarette, he would be surrounded by so much estrogen that he would definitely struggle with his inner asshole even more than usual. 

In fact, we never have sports on, even on Thanksgiving. Poor Niki would be stuck hearing conversations about artisanal candlemakers and how to hand felt a woodland elf puppet.

Back to his downfall, the second he made a slightly sketchy joke about women in the kitchen at the dinner table to my great uncle, his fate would be sealed.

If you thought the yelling at Laszlo would have been bad, this yelling would be ten times worse, because he would be surrounded by like 20 very angry, very defensive, and very strong women waiting to beat the shit out of him and I would not be any help. 

He dug the hole, so he can climb out of it. 

In the end, his death would come when he tried to light a cigarette and calm himself down at the dinner table while trying to rescind his earlier statement, because smoking inside around all the precious textile art? Thats a big no no. 

My great aunt would grab the lighter right out of his hand, light up whatever cocktail she had at the moment, and throw it all directly into Niki’s face.

It would be like crashing his car all over again, only this time he would be surrounded by people who would rather he burn than try to get him out of the situation. 

Moral of the story, Niki would die within the first few hours of a holiday with my family because he made an asshole comment to a room full of women who don’t put up with that shit. Don’t be like Niki, even if you think you won’t get killed for it. 

Andrea Marowski

YES

Andrea is pretty much the polar opposite of Niki here, and I love him for it. 

He is very soft, very kind, very pure, and would never dare to say something rude at the dinner table like a certain racer we all know.

He couldn’t even say something rude if he tried to, because he probably wouldn’t have the English in his vocabulary to say the things he wanted to say even if he intended to say them out loud. 

But let’s be honest here, Andrea would never. 

Even with his limited English, Andrea would appreciate being surrounded by a whole bunch of people who think he’s the sweetest little thing since the invention of cake. 

My great grandmother, despite being almost entirely blind and deaf, would say he looked darling and he would immediately be a member of the family from the moment he stuttered out his thanks. 

Andrea, like Alex, is also relatively young, so he would get points for not being old enough to be my father. 

I feel like, because Andrea was shown living happily in a tiny village by the ocean with two old ladies, he would have an appreciation for craft, so he wouldn’t mind sitting quietly as my great aunt pawns off a handmade blanket from my great grandmother to him. 

He would also happily sit with the younger children and do whatever craft or simple game one of my aunts brought for them that time. 

The cherry on top with Andrea is his skill with the violin. 

My family is one that appreciates fine art a lot, but more than anything we appreciate music. 

I wouldn’t say that any of us are anywhere close to Andrea’s proficiency, but we definitely aren’t terrible, and we all can appreciate the effort, practice, and talent that goes into getting truly good on an instrument like Andrea is on his violin. 

He would be encouraged to play, of course, and he would happily oblige. 

If he felt comfortable enough, I could even see my great uncle grabbing his guitar, my cousin sitting at the piano, and my sister bringing out her own violin to do a little quartet with some simple song they knew as everybody else sang along. 

By the end of the holiday evening, once dinner was served and people were heading to the cars, Andrea would definitely be considered a member of the family. 

Needless to say, he’d survive and pass their tests with better than flying colors, even despite the language barrier. 

Ernst Schmidt

NO

Now, Ernst was probably the most difficult one on this entire list to put into the living or dying category. In the end, though, there were a few things that couldn’t be overlooked that send him into bad territory. 

To be fair, though, he would last the longest out of everyone who would die tragically at one of my family’s holiday gatherings. 

He, like the past two victims, would not be exactly suited for the mushy crowding that’s inevitable when it comes to my family. 

That being said, I think he would deal with it a little bit better than the other two did and would make polite conversation with the family when he could. 

The fact that he was trapped in a packed house filled with drunk people who have several generations worth of beef with each other, though, would start to get him eventually. 

If we consider all of the shit that happened while he was in space to be canonical minus, you know, the earth getting really fucked up, he would probably start to go a little bit nuts while packed together with that many passive aggressive people.

The second someone burst into tears on the way to the bathroom he would start to lose his shit. 

Still, I think Schmidt would probably be fine-ish until dessert was served, because that’s about the time where all the adults are absurdly drunk, so insanity ensues. 

They would start poking at him about his credentials and experiences as a physicist. 

He would answer their questions at first, but, unfortunately for him, the questions would turn more and more personal and uncomfortable as time went on. 

Did he ever still think about what happened up in space? Did he blame himself for not getting things to work correctly? How much did he miss his old world and old life? Did he ever have nightmares about what he saw? How much did it hurt to get shot?

They’d poke and poke and poke in their drunken state until poor Schmidt would snap at them, flying into a slight rage at their insistent probing. 

From there, he would be swiftly asked to leave and then “accidentally” run over while calling an Uber to take him to wherever he’s staying as my drunk great aunt tries to back out of the driveway to drive down the block to her house. 

In the end, Schmidt and his wit would be really close to surviving a holiday with my family , but he would, unfortunately, let his anger get the best of him, and it would be the last thing he ever did. Literally. 

Helmut Zemo

YES, BUT ONLY BARELY

Okay, so my earlier comment about Ernst being the most difficult out of everyone was incorrect. Zemo was, by far, the hardest to put into one category or the other. 

His wit and charm won out in the end, though, and I determined that he would survive one single holiday with my family. 

If he ever came back for a second he definitely wouldn’t make it, but he would succeed in living past the first one. 

Helmut’s problems start, surprisingly, not with the fact that he is a criminal. In fact that doesn’t even cause any problems for him. 

No, instead they start with the fact that he is 43.

I am 99% sure that my mother is 43, and I know for a definite fact that he’s older than one of my uncles who would be present. I, at the time of writing this, am 18. 

Needless to say, literally everyone would be massively suspicious of him and his intentions the second he walked through the door. The amount of money in his bank account definitely wouldn’t help in this situation either. 

The family would warm up to him eventually, though, because if there’s one thing Helmut is good at besides killing people, it’s making people like him even if they absolutely shouldn’t. 

With his expansive knowledge of what feels like literally everything rich and niche, he would slowly win over the older members of the family. Who knew the strange old man Jac brought home was so well versed in the American pottery scene, or that he could name specific jewelry artists from across the world that my family had done business with for years?

My family definitely wouldn’t. At least, not at first. 

Oh how they’d learn, though. 

Another nice thing about Zemo that would allow him to survive is his aggressive politeness.

No matter how many weird glances or dirty looks he got over the course of dinner, he would simply continue to be the best version of himself in the hopes of impressing everyone. 

He would even pretend to enjoy my great aunt’s cooking and get himself seconds, because I’m sure it would be easier to scarf down than whatever he and his EKO Scorpion squad had to eat while serving in the Sokovian special forces. 

On the tail end of reasons he would be accepted, Helmut Zemo drinks alcohol like it’s water, so he would fit right in drinking white wine and cocktails through the night with the rest of the adults. 

((I think he’d totally tease me about not being able to drink with him, but that’s a story for another time. Anyways...))

His slight downfall would come from something entirely uncontrollable by him or anybody else. 

And that something would be my flirty aunt. 

I love my aunt. She’s wonderful in her own special way. 

That being said, I know if a hot Sokovian baron with a nice smile and a fat pocketbook showed up to one of out holidays, even if he was introduced as my partner, she would be going for the kill all night long. 

This would make Helmut more and more uncomfortable as she got more and more drunk, because lets face it, he’s probably not very comfortable with being touched by near-strangers anyways, and being touched by a drunk member of his partners family who is very obviously coming on to him? 

That’s even more difficult to deal with. 

That being said, Helmut is a man who has been shown to be extremely in control of his emotions. 

He would swallow down whatever awkwardness he felt, make it to the end of the night, and, once he had escaped her clutches, he would politely say that he was never going back to another holiday function with my family again, though he would be happy to facilitate me still attending them. 

So, in the end, Helmut Zemo would survive one holiday with his sheer stubborn politeness alone. 

I will say that his patience would absolutely wear thin if he attended a couple more holidays and he would eventually die of a stress induced heart attack after being unable to politely decline my aunt’s advances. 

For now, though, he’s safe.

[mcrninqstar]

discord: it’s you. it’s always been you.

SUMMARY: Lucifer accidently sends Maze the wrong text leading her to believe her best friend is dead. He goes to her to clarify and they end up revealing more to each other than they anticipated.  TRIGGERS: Death Mentions, Daddy Issues, Mommy Issues WRITTEN WITH: @mazikeenofmurders

MAZIKEEN: She'd been in Hell, torturing Will when she got the update from Lucifer. Charlie's dead now. She'd seen a lot of people die in her lifetime. Most of the time it didn't bother her, but Charlie was her best friend. It was heartbreaking. Her chest felt restricted, and her eyes filled with tears. She wiped them away before anyone could see them. If Charlie had ended up in Hell, Maze should've been told, but no one came while she let out her anger on Will, which meant that she'd gone to heaven and that Maze wouldn't be able to see her again. She let Belphegor continue torturing Will on their own while she went back to her own place in Hell. She didn't tell Belphegor the news yet. They'd need to figure out how to break that down to them. They were already upset enough that she'd been hurt. Maze had diverted their sadness to anger, but handling her death would be harder. Maze remained stoic until she got home and saw a picture of Charlie, Lucifer, and herself in a frame on one of the walls. She picked it up and broke down into tears, clutching it to her chest as she laid down on her bed. Now she'd really never get Charlie to sleep with her and Lucifer. That made her cry more.

LUCIFER: "Well, that was bloody awful," Lucifer lamented as he appeared in Maze's home. He needed someone to complain to about this. He'd already tried calling Linda a couple times but she declined the calls on account that it was close to 2am now. "Maze?" he called out to her. She wasn't in the living room, but he could feel her presence about. He figured she must've gone to bed. Surely she wouldn't mind being woken up to some good news. Lucifer helped himself to the bar, pouring two glasses of champagne and placing them on a tray. He carried them into Maze's room like some sort of fancy butler. He expected to find her maybe in some sexy little number or maybe nothing at all. But what he hadn't expected was to find her crying. "Mazikeen..." he lowered the tray onto the nightstand beside her. "Why are you crying? I thought you'd be over the moon, honestly..." Becoming Death was one hell of a promotion, especially for a human reaper. Charlie had essentially ascended to an angelic form of being. It was unheard of for humans to do that. It was historic and spicy and no doubt causing Uriel to panic a little. Lucifer very much liked that idea. But Maze...he'd never seen her like this.

MAZIKEEN: She heard it distantly when someone came into her home. Sometimes the other demons tried to sneak into her place to fight her when she was off guard. She was never really off guard, but she could recognize Lucifer's presence. Archangels like him radiated power that was unmistakable, especially him. She didn't move when he called her name. She didn't want him to see her crying like this, but she couldn't stop. It hurt too much. Charlie had been too important to her. "I'm not crying," she insisted, even as her voice cracked and tears spilled down her face. The picture frame she'd been clutching left imprints on her arms as she sat up. She sniffled as she wiped at her face, but more tears kept coming. She looked at Lucifer with confusion. "Why would I be over the moon about this?" she asked. Why was he? What was good about any of this? "She's gone, Lucifer." She took in a breath trying to push back the tears, but it just distorted her face. Admitting that she was gone was hard. It was possibly one of the hardest things she ever had to do, and she dealt with Cuphegor all the time.

LUCIFER: "Right, of course," he nodded and sat down at her bed side. She was too crying but he wasn't going to call her out on it. He simply pulled out the handkerchief from his pocket square and held it out to her. He had no idea what brought this on. Maze normally loved when he sent people out to be tortured by her specifically. William especially had been a thorn at her side. What he'd done now warranted permanent death so naturally he figured Maze would be happy about that but she wasn't. She was crying about someone being gone. It didn't take long to realize she was talking about Charlie. "She's not gone," he replied, placing his hands on either side of her and rubbing down the length of her arms in a reassuring manner. "I mean, I don't really know where she's at right now specifically. She's kind of hiccupping in and out of afterlives and I'm not allowed entry into some of them because of politics. But she's very much alive...unalive...sort of dead?" he sighed trying to figure out how to explain it. "She's Death now." He didn't see what was so bad about that. Maybe it was because Maze couldn't hug her? "I mean, sure, it would be ill advised to touch her at the moment but you'll be able to give her a hug when she reigns her powers in a bit. Raphael said they'd help."

MAZIKEEN: She took the handkerchief he offered her and wiped the tears off her face, still not admitting that they were tears, not that he was insisting they were or anything. He hadn't argued her lie, and she appreciated it. She leaned against him as he rubbed her arms.  She thought he was giving her some spiel about how their afterlives didn't really mean they were gone or something. That wouldn't have made a difference to Mazikeen if she couldn't see Charlie herself, but that wasn't what he was talking about. She wasn't sure what he was talking about actually. "What do you mean she's alive? You texted me and told me she was dead." Her voice was raising angrily. She'd been so upset. "You made me think my best friend died!" She hit him in the chest as she spoke. "I was crying because I thought I lost her!" She spoke with a mixture of shouting and sobbing.

LUCIFER: "What do you mean? No I didn't," he defended as she shouted that he sent her a text saying Charlie was dead. He pulled out his phone to try to get a look at what he said but she started smacking him. He swatted her away briefly to take a peak and sure enough...he grimaced. Bloody autocorrect. "That was meant to say she's Death, not she's dead," he corrected, not that it mattered in hindsight. "I wouldn't break that kind of news to you over a text message, Maze," he tried to assure her calmly. "That's Levi levels of avoidance. I'd send a carrier pigeon at least." Perhaps it wasn't the best time for jokes but that was really the only way he knew how to work through the kind of day he had. It wasn't exactly easy having to run a death scythe into an old friend and hope for the best.

MAZIKEEN: "Yes, you did!" she snapped. She'd read over the text several times just to make sure she'd read it right because that news was so serious. It didn't make a difference to her now that it was a typo. If anything, she was more furious that he hadn't noticed the typo before he'd sent it, or even that he didn't see that it had changed once he had sent it. He could've corrected it immediately and saved her the heartbreak of thinking she'd lost her friend. "A carrier pigeon?!" she repeated angrily, not finding his jokes as funny as he did in the moment when she was still reeling from thinking her friend had died. She started hitting him. "You're so stupid! I can't believe I fell in love with you, you asshole! Who jokes about that?!"

LUCIFER: "In my defense a lot was going on," he lamented, still wanting to complain about the situation. "I wasn't exactly sipping Bacardi with Raphael up there." He might've put too much faith in his phone to get the message across. "I knew you were worried about Charlie's condition and I wanted to get the news to her ASAP. I had a million and one things I needed to do to secure the veil after everything happened and I wouldn't have had time to come down to hell until well...now. I didn't think it was fair for you to wait that long." He was trying to ease her nerves but thanks to his phone he'd done the opposite. He grimaced as soon as the pigeon joke left his lips and braced himself for another round of smacking. It didn't hurt and he let her carry on. It was best to just let Maze air out her frustrations rather than let them fester. He expected her to insult him. That was par for the course. But he hadn't expected her to say the other thing. He sat up a little straighter and held her firmly so that she would stop hitting him and look at him instead. "You don't...you can't...you don't mean that, do you?" he asked her in all seriousness.

MAZIKEEN: Realistically, she couldn't blame him too much for what had happened. All in all, it was a simple mistake, and anger was the main way she knew to release her emotions. She knew Lucifer  knew that, and there were ways she could make it up to him later when she wasn't emotional. She sighed. "I guess I do appreciate you trying to tell me as soon as possible, even if you did fuck it up." She really did appreciate that, considering how worried she'd been about Charlie. "So I really can't hug her though?" She was one of the people Maze actually liked to hug. Lucifer was also one of them, but him grabbing her took her by surprise. He probably just was getting annoyed with her constantly hitting him, but most of her anger had gotten out now. She sighed. "You are kinda an asshole sometimes, but I like it most of the time."

LUCIFER: "Well, someone will suffer for the ill conceived attempts of autocorrect," he assured her. It wasn't going to be him, but someone would. Surely there was probably a demon to blame for this. "Probably Sam," he offered, hoping that would lift her spirits some with another soul to torture. "Charlie managed to separate him and his evil twin. She dragged the parasitic one here. Not sure which kingdom but when we find him, he's all yours," he replied, still running his hand up and down her arm in a comforting gesture. "No, I'm afraid you can't hug her for now. She's deadly to everything except the Archangels now." Although Charlie was young by comparison, her ranking was up there with Cupid now that she was Death. Love and Death were fundamental forces in the balance of things. "But I'll give her extra hugs on your behalf," he replied. He didn't mind it one bit. Having to stab Charlie wasn't exactly pleasant and he wanted to ensure she was okay every step of the way. His features softened and his grip lightened when she remarked he was an asshole sometimes, but she enjoyed that about him. "That's not what I meant...I meant the other thing you said. The one about falling in love with me..." he clarified so that neither of them could be mistaken this time. "You don't mean that, do you?"

MAZIKEEN: "As they should." She nodded in agreement. She smiled brightly when Lucifer suggested that it would probably be Sam. She'd always wanted to torture him. "Is it my birthday again already?" she asked jokingly. She was a little disappointed that it wasn't both Sams that ended up in Hell, but she guessed that it was good for Charlie's happiness or something. "That's pretty hot," she remarked with a smirk. "It makes me want to try it anyway. I'll tell you what it feels like." She grinned. Lucifer couldn't have all the fun in being the only one of them to be able to hug Charlie. Her smile faltered when he clarified what he'd heard her say. "Ah," so she had actually said that then? She'd thought that part was just in her head, but it was hard to keep a cap on her thoughts when she was that upset. Her chest clenched up. She was trying to gauge his reaction to that before she said anything else, but it was hard to tell how he was feeling about it. The most she could tell was that he was uncertain, but she couldn't decipher if that uncertainty came from disgust at the idea, if he wanted it like she did, if his trauma from the curse just had him scared to trust it, or a combination of a few of those. She sat up straighter, holding herself higher to make sure this confession didn't make her look weaker in any way. If he didn't like it then fuck him anyways. "I do. I've been in love with you for a while now." She let out a breath of air. That was a weird thing she never really thought she'd let out, but it was out there now. She watched Lucifer carefully for his reaction, prepared to backtrack or defend herself if she needed to.

LUCIFER: He was glad to see her smile after the particularly awful news she thought he'd delivered. He knew he'd be paying for that for the next few weeks but for now at least the storm had passed and she knew Charlie was safe. "If your birthday occurred anytime that man nearly dies, you'd be aging at twice the rate," he pointed out. He really did feel for the Winchester's Guardian. That angel had to be doing overtime on most days. "Wear protection," he teased. "Safe hugging to prevent untimely death." Maze wore enough latex that it really shouldn't be a problem. Charlie was careful too. Lucifer had instructed her to go to Val in the meantime for pointers and perhaps a pair of sturdier gloves.

He swallowed back a bit of initial panic when she confirmed that he'd heard her correctly. His automatic thoughts and fears were that his curse was back. Why else would anyone love him? He projected outward confidence because he had to. It was expected of him as King of Hell to know what to do, or at least to look like he knew what he was doing. Maze knew better than most Lucifer had no idea what he was doing. He was a mess just trying his best. Truthfully, the curses had set him back quite a bit. He still struggled, wondering if any of the relationships and connections he'd made in his life were real. Chloe had left him long before the curse was broken and he couldn't blame her. But Maze stuck around. She'd been there before he discovered his curse and she was still there afterward. She'd been there through all of his milestone and all the trials life could've thrown his way. He couldn't have imagined doing any of this without her. In fact, he was certain he couldn't have done it without her. The duties of keeping Hell running and keeping his siblings both happy and alive stretched him thin. He needed a partner and Maze was the best one he could've ever asked for.

If she really did love him, then this was a blessing because as much as the feeling scared him, he loved her too. He hadn't realized how much she did for him until she'd disappeared to the other timeline. He'd been a mess then and so had hell. Since then, he tried to show her that he appreciated her more and more. He tried to do what he could to spend time with her because he didn't know how much time they had left. He realized some time ago if the void was going to take over, she'd be the person he'd want to be with in the end. He thought those feelings were just friendship, but he knew deep down it went deeper than that.

"Okay...." he took a deep breath. "Okay..." he ran his hands up and down her arms as a soothing gesture. "Mazikeen, you are one of the most important people to me. You're the first person I check in with in the mornings and the last one I see before I go to bed. You're..." You're the one person I can see myself spending an eternity with. Just say it Lucifer. Come on. "The last time I felt like this about someone, it turned out to not be real. How do we know any of this is real?" he questioned. It was an unfair question to place on her but he wanted to be upfront with his fears. He'd known Chloe for all of 4 years when she left. And her leaving left a hole in his belief in love. He'd known Maze for much longer. If this turned out to be a curse and if she left too...he wasn't sure where that would leave either of them.

MAZIKEEN: She laughed a little at his comment about Sam's deaths. "Even better. Maybe I can catch up to you, old man." It wasn't like they really aged anyways. Birthdays were an arbitrary thing they made up just for an excuse to celebrate. They were all too old to actually keep up with their ages, and even if they did, it just made them look so much better despite their ages. "Don't worry. My strap-on has a condom and everything." She grinned. She'd be careful enough, but the thought that her best friend could kill her with just a single touch was exciting and she wanted to see what it felt like. Hopefully, she wouldn't kill herself completely in the process. She wasn't actually suicidal like some people.

Her chest ached seeing that look on his face. As a demon, she considered it a skill of hers that she could recognize the fear in her victims, but Lucifer wasn't a victim. He was her closest friend and the person she was in love with. She usually knew him better than she knew herself most of the time, but she couldn't tell where that panic came from in the moment. Was he as scared of rejecting her as she was of being rejected? Or was he just as scared of allowing himself to love as she was. She knew that with his curse, he'd been hesitant of his relationships, romantic or otherwise. It was part of the reason she'd been so hesitant herself recently about talking about it (though it was mainly because of her own fear). The way he held onto her arms, rubbing them to reassure her, convinced her that this was a rejection, so she prepared herself for it.

She had to admit, he was setting up the rejection nicely. She imagined that he was going the route of asking if they could still be friends so they could still do all of those things. The last time I felt like this about someone... So he did feel the same way about her then, and his panic was about the curse. Even so, the doubt of whether this was real or not hurt. She knew his curse was broken. Cupid had confirmed that. Maze wasn't particularly great at dealing with her emotions, so the pain she felt at his doubt turned to anger. It wasn't rational anger, considering how valid his doubts were, but she was angry nevertheless. How dare he doubt her love?!

"I'm not Chloe," she snapped. "What, do you think that just because I was with her when Cupid broke your connection that it somehow transferred from her into me? Well, it didn't because I've been in love with you for a lot longer than that. I didn't fall in love with you because of a curse. I fell in love with you because unlike everyone else you were always there with me and for me from the day I met you. It wasn't some immediate infatuation. I don't do the love at first sight thing." She barely considered the love thing until she realized it was actually a possibility. "I don't just have the feeling that I love you. I know I love you because I consider the day you picked me to be your right hand one of the best moments of my life, and maybe kicking Azazel's ass made that day better too, but that's not the important part. You are. I like working for you. I like your dirty jokes because I have the same sense of humor. And your corny jokes are awful,  but occasionally I'll find myself making them too." She sounded annoyed as she said all of this, only angry that he didn't see it. She shouldn't have been surprised though considering that seemed to run in his family. "I know a lot of people think it's a little extra the way you will do whole musical numbers. I agree, but I fucking love it!"

He looked like he was about to say something, but she cut him off. "I'm not done yet! You wanted to know how I know that this is real, so you're going to hear it all! When I was younger, and practically everyone was doubting me for being your right hand, you didn't. You never doubted my capability to kick their asses and make them shut the fuck up. I fucking love the fact that even though you're an archangel, you trust me to handle myself and fight my own battles. I'd be pissed if you tried to, but I never had to worry about that with you. I never have to worry about most things with you because I trust you. Hell, even your problems I don't mind dealing with. You self-sabotage constantly, and so do I. You've got the the world's biggest daddy issues, and I've got the world's worst mommy issues. But we know how to deal with each other's issues. The drama in your family is exponential, but I don't ever want to stop dealing with it. It's honestly really entertaining, and don't you dare fucking tell them this, or anyone for that matter, but I started to care for them too. Some of them anyways. Just a tiny barely noticeable amount." She probably shouldn't have said that, but she kept going.

"When we came up here together at first and Chloe made you vulnerable, you have no idea how terrified I was. I am your right hand and your bodyguard. I don't usually have to protect you from much because you're an archangel, but there you were getting injured constantly just because you kept going near the thing that was making you vulnerable. I was honestly glad that it was a curse just because it meant that you could be safe again." Sure there were other things that could hurt him but not many. "I was just glad that I didn't have to worry about losing you."

She continued to list off more and more reasons to prove how she knew her love was her own and not from some curse. It spanned from centuries in the past all the way to the present, including the smallest details like the way he laughed when he was scared or  the way his hair looked after sex to more major details and events like the fact that she saw him when she looked at Asmodeus or how jealous she felt when she saw the other universe's Maze seeming to have everything with her Lucifer and how glad she was to come home to her own. It took her hours to get through everything, and it was well into the morning now. "And if that's not enough to convince you that this is real, I don't know what is," she huffed. "Cupid's been trying to get me to tell you for ages now, and she wouldn't do that if she had any doubts about my feelings for you being a curse. She might be a pain in the ass half the time, but I know you at least can count on her being genuine about love."

LUCIFER: "At the rate he dies, you'll likely catch up to Aamon or Michael at this point," he joked although he really hoped Sam would slow down a little for Charlie's sake. He chuckled when she replied that her strap-on had a condom. "A paragon of safe sex. I expect no less. I'm sure Charlie will appreciate the sentiment." If anything, Charlie would at least appreciate the jokes and the company. It had been a rough few hours for her. Those hours spanned days in hell. Days that Maze must've spent feeling anxious about her friend's wellbeing. No wonder she'd reacted so poorly to his faux pas.

He was hoping to make it up to her, but it was clear his hesitation was contributing to her anxiety. Being a demon from Aamon's kingdom, that anxiety naturally expressed itself with rage. He flinched as she snapped at him. He swallowed hard when she replied that she'd been in love with him for a lot longer than he'd been cursed. Maybe they'd looked at the curse all wrong then. Maybe it was there from the beginning. Maybe Chloe wasn't the original victim, but rather Mazikeen. The thought of that ached and hurt more than anything. She was his best advisor and his closest friend. The thought of their closeness potentially being driven by a curse was a hurt that threatened to tear his chest open, but continued to listen. It was best not to interrupt her when she was in one of these passionate rages.

His features softened and his panic started to drop off slightly as she started listing tangible things she liked about him. Love curses couldn't go that deep, could they? Cupid had told him even the strongest curses can only mimic a base and superficial love. What Maze was describing didn't feel superficial. She'd also said that real love felt different. It made you feel complete even when you felt like you were falling apart. Maze made him feel that way. She understood him in ways even those around him didn't seem to get.

She didn't try to change him or insist that he be someone else, someone more mature or someone she felt he needed to be in certain situations. She trusted his judgement even when he didn't trust himself necessarily. Apparently not everyone was the same way though. There were people out there that didn't like his musical numbers? He was about to open his mouth to retort, but she cut him off. He closed his mouth and patiently waited as she continued, a smile growing on his face.

Just as he'd been reminiscing about how she never doubted his abilities, it was clear she felt the same way about him never doubting her. He always knew that she was capable. His siblings might have been more powerful than her, but they always knew that Maze was an extension of Lucifer. She wasn't a subordinate, she was family to them. And it was clear Maze felt that they were her family too. That made Lucifer brighten considerably. He knew Maze didn't have a good relationship with her family and sometimes his own relationship with his family was rocky too. But she found her place among them and that was important to him.

She was as afraid of losing him as he was of losing her which was both terrifying and a relief. When she was off in the other timeline, he'd been a mess just thinking about it. It wasn't just the daunting task of finding another right hand if she never came back. It was the inexplicable pain of losing someone whom you couldn't imagine your life without. There was no one in this world or the next that could replace Maze.

"Mazikeen," he cupped her face as she finished, letting her take a few deep breaths to calm down. She looked like she needed a drink too. "I believe you," his voice was soft and gentle as he spoke. The previous panic that it carried was now gone. He really did believe her. He knew Maze well enough to know cursed or not, love was the last thing she wanted to admit to. It took guts to get this far and now it was time for him to show the same kind of bravery. "And I love you too," he smiled. "You make me a better person without trying to change a single thing about me. You listen to my fears and insecurities and you don't let them be the only voice inside my head. When shit hits the fan you are the only person I know I can count on. It's always been you," he replied as he leaned in and kissed her gently. "It's always going to be you."

MAZIKEEN: "He's really got issues if he's going that far." Maze could see the appeal of getting close to death. She liked pushing things that far all the time. Having sex with archangels who could easily end your existence provided a similar thrill, but Maze didn't actually want to die. "Yeah," Maze agreed. "Hopefully becoming death doesn't autocorrect her sense of humor." She was joking just to pick on Lucifer's mistake, but she was a little worried about how this change would affect Charlie. She didn't know everything about what becoming death entailed. She had always been closer to Charlie than Azrael, and Azrael wasn't very social. She hadn't talked much about what being Death was like either. Maze didn't know how much she could help Charlie, or how much any of them could.

She looked at Lucifer angrily as he cupped her face, waiting for him to make fun of her or say that her explanations weren't enough to prove that this was real even though she knew it was. Her expression softened when he said he believed her. "You do?" She asked, relaxing into him now. He'd gone through so much lately that she really didn't expect him to take her at her word. "You do?" She asked again as he told her he loved her too. She felt warmer, and she was smiling brightly. She didn't think she'd been in love before him, and just getting that confirmation was such a relief. She felt lighter and happier. She looked at him in awe as he explained just what made him love her too. "I don't need to change anything about you," she said in defense of him, but she couldn't counter the rest of it. She deepened the kiss. Her hands moved into his hair, pulling on some of the strands, but this kiss was different than their usual make-out sessions. It wasn't just from lust, though she was feeling hornier now. Adding an emotional extension to kissing someone was . . . Interesting to say the least. She might've loved him before, but loving him and knowing he loved her had the most thrill she'd ever known. Cupid could never be told that. She'd never hear the end of how right Cupid was, but this was something Mazikeen had needed to do on her own anyways. Maze smirked as they pulled out of the kiss. "If it's always going to be me, do we need to discuss anything else, or are you going to get me out of these clothes?"

LUCIFER: "There's minor death kinks and then there's whatever Sam's got," he chuckled. He would pass off Linda's number to Sam and maybe even introduce them. She'd get a kick out of an interdimensional client and Sam could really use the help after all of this. He groaned at the joke Maze made about Charlie's humor getting autocorrected. If course she wasn't going to let him live it down. Despite her ribbing at him, he knew there was some truth hidden in her jokes. She was afraid that this whole transition to becoming Death would change Charlie. "She's a little overwhelmed right now, but still Charlie. It's like the second Frozen movie where Elsa transitions into the fifth natural force," he giggled to himself. "You know, that sort of makes you Anna. I've seen dark before..." he sang through his giggles, ducking away before she could smack him.

"I do," he nodded. "It doesn't mean I'm any less scared about it or that I even know what I'm doing, but I believe you and I love you," he assured her. Admitting it out loud again felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder. The more times he said it out loud, the more sure of himself he felt. He did love her. This wasn't the curse talking, this was him. He smiled when she replied that she didn't need to change him. He'd gone a good portion of his life thinking there was something wrong with him. He didn't fit the mold his Father intended for him. He never accepted him for who he was and simply wanted to beat him down until he was a perfect soldier like Michael. But Maze never tried to change him. She never made him feel like he was built wrong or that he was too soft, too hard, or too much for the role placed on his shoulders.

As she deepened the kiss, he pressed her against the wall, wanting to feel every inch of her. Having aired out how he felt, and having her accept it and feel the same was exhilarating and quite frankly more of a turn on than anything else he'd ever experienced before. He could hardly focus as she pulled away. "Well," he smirked, trailing kisses down her neck as his hands explored her body. "I do have some making up to do for my previous faux pas." He gripped her tightly and picked her up before plopping her down onto the bed. "You know what they say, no time line the present," he smirked, dipping down to kiss her again.

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I'm new to your blog but found a few posts that were about a JayTom ship, and I was wondering who Tom was? And also you've mentioned in a couple of posts the idea of Jason having a lineup of Titans in his age range and you talked about the Ray and Damage in one. Do you have a whole lineup in mind for them and if so, is there a post on that somewhere?

LOL man, I really need to start pulling all my posts about JayTom and Jay’s lineup of Titans together for some kind of a masterlist, so thanks for the reminder haha. Like, I saw this ask and thought of various posts to point you towards but ugh, I don’t know where any of them are.

Anyway, so. The Tom of JayTom. Aka my ideal ship for Robin!Jason in the series of one-shots about an AU where Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia in ADITF and thus never dies, that’s kinda grown out of that of a one-shot I started as a writing commission a couple months ago, if anyone else remembers that….the one that was like ‘what if Jason called Dick after the Garzonas incident and Dick sided with Jason’…that one. 

Which then snowballed into ‘well, then I could give Jason his own lineup of Titans who are in the same age range as like a younger gen learning from Dick’s generations of Titans but still older than Tim’s generation of YJ and then eventual Titans.’

Sigh. Oh, me. Right! So! Anyway! Tom in JayTom is Thomas Bronson, the son of JSA member Ted Grant, aka Wildcat. 

Tom and Jason have never ever interacted in canon as far as I know, as I don’t think Tom’s ever appeared outside of JSA and Jason never appeared in that book either before or after his death. BUT by the magic of winging it and Canon Has Not Definitively Contradicted Me, I think the two of them are feasibly in the same age range, so I’m going with them both being fifteen when they meet here.

Tom’s a scrappy, street smart, attitude throwing teenager with daddy issues of his own, lol, thanks to Ted’s general non-existence in his life, for most of it….and he’s also tiny, like, 5′6″ and 135 lbs even at the end of his teenage years. LMAO, I honestly don’t remember, but I think that might be the whole basis of this ship for me, or where it originated. Like, I happened across Tom’s stats as listed on one of the DC wiki sites, and was like, lol oh, he and Robin!Jason could be pint-sized punks together! And then from there, I had the inevitable thought “okay but now make them gay” and then from there I fell into my usual trap of “oh no, it was supposed to be a joke but now I’m taking it seriously and seriously pondering how it could seriously work.”

And then from there it consumed my brain and devoured my life. I swear, it was Dick/Kyle all over again. Ugh, my brain is so problematic.

So anyway, this is Tom:

He’s a werepanther, he can shapeshift into a panther form to fight, which brings up an interesting facet of his character and something I think could be really fun to play off Jason and his own issues…because Tom hates fighting. HATES it. Will run from a fight at any given opportunity rather than engage….but its not because he’s a coward, or doesn’t have heroic instincts of his own, and its not even because he’s not GOOD at fighting.

Its that he’s scared of himself, and scared of hurting whoever he’s fighting…at least more than he means to. Because he has trouble controlling his shift when in fights. His panther form just comes out in response to his own amped up levels of aggression. The fight or flight response for him is actually more like “flight or turn into a raging whirlwind of clawed and fanged fury that can’t stop won’t stop until he’s definitively won his fight….which by extension, usually means his opponent is currently bleeding out on the ground from a few dozen deep claw marks because Panther!Tom’s claws and fangs are SHARP.”

Now pair this fear of his own power with Tom’s natural belligerence and problems with authority at certain points in his life, AND his desire to follow in his hero father’s footsteps as well as his resentment and giving himself grief every time he realizes he even has that desire, because he doesn’t owe his deadbeat dad shit and can’t stand that he nevertheless admires him in a lot of ways and still feels a desire to prove himself to him…

Then pair him up with Jason during his Robin years, going through similar issues and emotions as well as a comparable dynamic with Bruce as him not dying in Ethiopia nevertheless changes nothing about the two of them likely clashing more and more over their views on how to deal with criminals and the appropriate levels of aggression when dealing with them….

And that right there, IMO, is super strong potential for a dynamic couple with a lot in common and yet occasional clashes of their own due to different opinions on which direction to go in so as to address those shared issues…but who likely would never hesitate for a second before backing each other up and presenting a united front against anyone else who tried to give one or the other shit for any reason whatsoever.

Also, I have vastly amused myself with the thought (and the occasional post here and there) of Ted and Bruce continually glowering at each other and blaming each other’s son for being a bad influence on their son, who has never done anything wrong in their life ever, CLEARLY (even if Bruce had actually just grounded Jason the day before. Whatever. Ted doesn’t need to know that).

Anyway, so that’s the JayTom I reference now and then. I’ve always maintained that Jason could really benefit from having a stronger support system of friends distinct to him and not sharing similar dynamics with any of his siblings, so then I was like, well if Jay doesn’t die, and I have him and Dick closer in this AU than they’re usually written as being, plausibly Jason would spend a lot of time at the Tower to get away from Bruce and his own fights with him. 

With Dick being more than able to relate to trouble dealing with Bruce and thus happy to lend a sympathetic ear….and eventually maybe express to Bruce that it might do them both some good for Jason to make more friends his own age and have some normal routines that took him out of the house and Gotham enough that he and Bruce don’t constantly feel like they’re breathing down each other’s necks and keeping tension a constant thing between them. A little space now and then could benefit them both, give them chances to cool off after their fights and actually MISS each other before readdressing the issues.

So then I could see the Titans kinda sending out invitations/recruiting various teen heroes around Jason’s age that they’d all maybe had their eyes on for awhile as kids who could benefit from the same kind of team unity/group support that helped them so much when they were that age just a few years ago themselves.

Which leads me to where I am now which is….I still haven’t settled on a solid lineup, because I came up with too many choices, lol. Basically, my parameters were I wanted characters who could feasibly be said to be in the same age range as Jason and Tom, and didn’t have super strong associations with any other characters that would create any kind of conflict with them being on a Titans team at this point in the timeline instead. And because I’m all about my thematics, I wanted them all to have certain root issues in common that they could all bond over and actually, y’know, support each other with and through. 

(The same way I think Dick’s generation of Titans actually has certain distinct themes and issues that almost all of them share and can relate to in varying ways, which I think has a lot to do with how quickly and fully they all bonded and why they created such lasting friendships and teams between them. But that’s a whole other post, lol.)

So the central shared issues I decided to focus on for Jason’s age group of Titans were: teen/young heroes from abusive homes or runaways, ones with issues and fears stemming from and regarding their own powers or tempers, etc, and misfits who were regarded warily by other or older heroes and considered potentially able to end up on either side of the hero/villain line in the sand.

Which Dick’s generation of Titans, which of course includes Raven, Kory, etc, would not be in agreement with that last part, and thus be all the more likely to recruit these specific teen heroes and be like nyah, nyah, watch how with our help and oh yeah, SUPPORT, they all become the best damn heroes that ever did heroically hero. Suck it, JLA-holes!

(And then Donna would be like, not you Diana, you know we’re cool, its just I gotta do the team solidarity thing and Dick, Garth and Roy are still being Displeased with their mentors/dads at the moment, and also we’re all kinda ticked you guys stole Wally. Btw, we’re stealing the new Green Lantern kid, because Revenge and stuff. He’s ours now, you snooze, you lose).

 So, Jason’s lineup of Titans will consist of some of the following, I’m just not 100% sure which yet, because I have to whittle down the list.

1) Jason (nominally mentored by Dick, but the latter just calls it an excuse for brother bonding time and neither of them make much reference ever to having any kind of actual mentor/protégé relationship like I see the rest of Jay’s lineup having. Plus, Jason unique from the rest already has a mentor in Bruce anyway, so his situation and reasons for being part of this team aren’t quite the same from the others, especially as one of my reasons for this AU was always addressing the issues I have with Bruce’s parenting before the canon event point of Jason’s death, and like…..so like, Bruce does get better once Dick calls out some of his shit with Jason based on his own experiences with Bruce and then later Jason returns the favor by calling out Bruce for taking Dick for granted and no longer putting in the same effort connecting with his eldest and being an actual PARENT to him like he used to).

2) Tom Bronson/Tomcat (who else would act as his personal mentor other than Gar aka Beast Boy aka Changeling, the shapeshifter extraordinaire?)

3) Grant Emerson/Damage (recruited by Roy and his personal protégéand likely BFFs with Jason IMO, as I think their temperaments are complete opposites but Grant’s the kind of kid who would roll his eyes and dolefully follow his troublemaking best friend Jay into likely danger, because his power to blow things up really comes in handy with the kind of scrapes Jason gets himself into and this in turn is a really handy thing to point out in the aftermath of pulling Jason’s butt out of a scrape and then gloating but in the totally mature and “I’m much too nice to actually be gloating, you must be mistaken about what’s happening here” manner in which I see that going down. And in terms of the parameters I mentioned, Grant grew up bounced around abusive foster homes, is watched like a hawk by various groups and heroes because of the huge catastrophic potential of his powers, which he has his own fears about, and also he has no idea who his parents are either, and I imagine him and Jason going on a ‘find out who our real parents are roadtrip’ after graduation or something).

4) Ray Terrill/The Ray (potentially recruited by Kory and her personal protégé. He was briefly a member of Tim’s Young Justice team, but part of the reason he was never that close with the other members was he was a little bit older, just a couple years or so, but enough to put him squarely in Jason’s age range. Also comes from an abusive home, and spent the majority of his childhood living in complete darkness because his asshole uncle told him he had the same powers as his father which meant sunlight would be harmful to him and make him dangerous to be around. When in reality, like his dad, Ray’s powers are fueled by sunlight and he’s like a living solar battery, keeping him afraid to leave the dark was just meant to keep him passive and powerless. Even knowing his uncle lied now, Ray still has long had fears about his own powers, unable to totally shake the fears his uncle instilled in him).

5) Todd Rice/Obsidian (potentially recruited by Raven and her personal protégé. He and his twin sister Jenny-Lynn Hayden are probably a bit older than the rest of this team, but their ages aren’t definitively linked to any points in the DC timeline, so there’s no real conflict between handwaving them as aged down to be right around the same ages as the others. Todd and Jenny-Lynn are the twin children of original Green Lantern Alan Scott aka Sentinel, and the DC villainness Thorn. They grew up in separate foster homes though with Alan unaware of their existence for most of their childhoods. Todd’s childhood was notoriously rough, with him having several abusive foster parents. He’s canonically gay and mentally ill/neurodivergent, which several of his foster homes targeted him for. In addition, his shadow powers are tied to a dark dimension that’s said to prey on his mental state and led to occasional times where he’s been a villain briefly, and at all times his powers are regarded fearfully by most people and with him shunned and avoided because of them. All of which I think makes Raven an ideal mentor for him).

6) Jenny-Lynn Hayden/Jade (Todd’s twin sister, even though they didn’t grow up together for the most part. Honestly, she doesn’t share in a lot of the issues the rest of the team prospects do, and had a relatively good childhood before her powers developed and she found her brother and they started operating as heroes together. But upon learning who her brother and dad are, she’s always been committed to growing closer with them, so I think anywhere Todd goes in this AU, she’d definitely follow, and its not like the team can’t benefit from a heavy hitter like her, let alone more girls. Not totally sure who I picture as most mentoring her in specific, probably because I don’t see her as being recruited per se, so much as just going with Todd when recruited….but I’m thinking maybe Garth, actually. Garth has a lot of range and versatility with his powers and magic, which makes him ideal for mentoring someone who not only has the same powers as a Green Lantern, limited only by her imagination…..but who also might benefit from being mentored by someone who ISN’T a Green Lantern because she doesn’t share their traditional weaknesses and thus she’d be best off training with someone whose own techniques and instincts aren’t geared around weaknesses that are literally irrelevant to her powerset).

7) Courtney Mason/Anima (A metahuman runaway who was almost sacrificed by a cult before her powers kicked in….she’s also right in the same age range as Ray, Grant and Jason, and has briefly been a member of a couple Titans lineups but never for long and usually only for big event stories. But she fits the runaway/rough home environment parameter as well as fear of her own powers….she absorbs life energy from people and animals and can potentially kill them by draining too much. She also has a separate power that’s basically a connection to an other-dimensional spirit called the Animus that she can summon forth and unleash on her enemies. I’m thinking she’d make a good recruit/protégé for Jericho actually, for a number of reasons).

8) Cynthia Reynolds/Fantasia (? Maybe? Not sure yet. Not her actual codename, but her actual codename is a slur, so I’m def gonna make up a new one, I just haven’t 100% settled on what it is yet. Suck it, DC. She’s most known for being a member of Justice League Detroit along with Steel, Vibe and the Ray, but she’s the right age range to end up recruited to be a Titan here instead, like Ray. Also is a runaway from an abusive home, and often deals with mistrust and suspicion due to her illusion powers. Perfect recruit/protégé for Lilith, IMO).

9) Cisco Ramone/Vibe (Also created as a teenage hero to be part of the Justice League Detroit lineup, which makes him the right age range and he’s another runaway. The nature of his powers makes him a good fit to be a recruit/protégéof Mal Duncan/Herald).

10) Amy Allen/Bombshell (Totally self-indulgent on my part given that I basically would ignore the vast majority of her storylines and writing, which I think suck. She was in the Titans stories revolving around Tim’s generation of the team, but she was always stated to be a few years older than the rest, like in her late teens when the majority were probably sixteen, so I think she’s a good fit for this age range. Also had a crappy home life and parents, and her powers are hugely destructive in certain applications…she basically has the same powerset as Captain Atom, though she’s never had any kind of official mentor or sidekick relationship with him. Also, I think Captain Atom is an asshat and a dillhole and he sucks, but I do like his powers, so reinterpreting Amy as a character who doesn’t suck and playing around with her powers instead is solid decision making on my part and renders Captain Atom irrelevant now. I think I shall kill him. Because I can do that. Anyway, I think she doesn’t need him as a mentor but could make a good recruit/protégé for Leonid/Red Star).

11) Carla Moretti/Cinder (Odd choice, given that she’s only ever really been used as a villainous member of Deathstroke’s anti-Titans team and was easily in her twenties at the time. Pyrokinetic who happily makes bonfires out of her enemies but written with zero attempts at nuance, like a total one note villain framed as having long since abandoned her own humanity….which bugged the crap out of me, as she was given a super angsty backstory of childhood sexual abuse and that’s just ‘why she’s like this’ and I have a deep seeded loathing for asshole writers writing survivors as villains and just blaming their casual homicidal ways on their abuse while serving up said villains to just be punching bags or dominoes for the heroes to knock down on their way to the Boss Fight. So I do have inclinations towards making an actual Titan out of her, like with Amy, because surprise surprise, both these characters being written shittily and one note was the work of the same writer, shocking. So I’d just handwave her down to the right age range and have her recruited/mentored by Donna, probably…more due to me thinking Donna would be the best person to help her deal with stuff because she’s mastered the art of avoiding avoidance via having Dick Grayson as a BFF. So with them its not really because Carla needs mentoring with her powers specifically. Idk, Carla anyway you slice it I think has a lot of rage, and Donna knows what to do with that. Written right, Donna’s not a character who judges or shames a victim or survivor for being angry…she gets angry with them, and helps them find options for what to do with that now.) 

12) Hero Cruz (Lesser known Titan, has a device called the Dial H device that lets him turn into a different hero with different powers depending on the setting he puts it on. Basically Ben 10, but Hero came first. Doesn’t really fit most of the parameters, other than being around the right age range, and not even sure who would make a good mentor for him though I wanna say Vic, but not totally decided yet. Mostly I just like him and think he’s underused, so whatever).

There’s also a few other candidates that I have mostly ruled out but not totally. I thought about using the aged up version of Chris Kent, and just introduce him earlier than he showed up in canon. And then Kara/Supergirl could be his mentor because I kinda handwave her into Dick’s generation of Titans anyway, even though it was the alien Matrix version of Linda Danvers that was the only Supergirl ever on the team. Whatever. She should have been a Titan all along anyway. But also Chris would fit the team well as he had an abusive childhood as well, at his dad General Zod’s hands, and again, I just like the character. 

Thought of including Virgil Hawkins/Static too, even though I think he’s closer to Tim’s age range. And again, just another character I’m a fan of and think is underused, but he would definitely be an odd man out in this group because like….he comes from a happy, healthy, loving home and family, and he loves his powers. So he would constantly be just like nodding his head along while his teammates talk and like ugh that sucks, but 10/10 absolutely can not relate, my parents are awesome.  Same with Natasha Irons/Steel, who really would have to be handwaved to even be in the right age range, and again has a happy loving home environment and a superhero uncle of her own so its not like she needs a Titan mentor…..but I kinda wanna see Karen Beecher/Bumblebee take her under her wing anyway, and have them be science nerds together.

Also pretty much the only reason I ruled out Connor Hawke too, as he doesn’t really match the rest of the team in any of the parameters except for feasibly being right at the upper edge of the same age range. But again, I just love the character. 

So I’m probably gonna end up throwing at least one of these other characters in there anyway, lol. I do know myself).

Anyway. So that’s Jason’s lineup of Titans, or at least the candidates as they exist bouncing around in my head now. Also, they’re pretty much Team “Everyone is Gay Except For When They’re Bi.” Which, granted, is basically how I view Dick’s generation of Titans, but with them I have to be like Make It So, in my brain, whereas with this group like….canon’s actually done the work for me for the most part lol. Ray is gay, Todd Rice is gay, Courtney is bi, Hero is gay. And I can’t actually find anything confirmed Tom was stated to be gay somewhere in canon, but I SWEAR he was, like, ugh this is bugging me.

But anyway. That’s that about all of that.

[guardiandae]

Meta/Commentary Part 1: A Little ‘XO’ Wouldn’t Go Amiss

(Spoilers below)

Wade finally learned his roomie's real name on day two, when the proposed nickname of 'Priscilla' was rejected via stabbing.

"Y'know- I usually know a guy's name before I let him penetrate me," Wade joked, gritting through the pain.

"My name is Nathan Summers. You can call me Nate. Or you can shut your whore mouth."

I’m gonna say this right now so when I finally finish the sequel of this fic, nobody can cry foul or anything or pretend that I didn’t plan everything all along from the very start of this journey: There’s a reason why Nate stabbed Wade and it’s not just to be an edgelord. This fic starts written in Wade’s POV and then switches to Nate’s, and there is so much more info revealed from Nate’s perspective that changes how interactions are colored. In the sequel, it’s not written in that style but eventually you will understand Nate’s POV and be able to look back on this (and other moments) and be like, Ah. I spent a few months just agonizing over this fic planning. The levels of depth going on here, you don’t know.

Also it’s hilarious because, the movie never really establishes Cable’s real name so hi, it’s Nathan Summers. Scott Summers’ (Cyclops)’s son, but like... older than him because future and time traveling hijinks or whatever. This is only important because like, daddy issues.

-

technically they were even sleeping together, even if Nate slept in the only bedroom because he'd called dibs and Wade slept on the couch in a pile of fast food wrappers.

Denial.

Living with Nate was weird after living with Vanessa for so long. No more kisses -- not like he wanted any.

Denial!

-

Usually when Wade got home, Nate was never there.  Hours later when Nate did come back, he'd just go to bed. Other times, Wade was hired for jobs that took days of travel to complete. There was little interaction between them and they barely saw each other, so Wade took to leaving little notes behind.

[Went to get milk. And also to put a cap in someone's ass. He's a bad guy though, so don't worry. I'll be home late. xoxo] [Forgot the milk. Also didn't cap the guy so I didn't get paid. Can you pick some up while you're out? xoxo]

So much info in one little spot. Nate only sees them as roommates, as a living arrangement and tenuous partnership to serve as an end to both of their needs. Nate has a place to live, and his only responsibility, as we learn in his POV, is to pay the rent on Wade’s behalf, with Wade’s money, because Wade is a disaster and his memory is getting worse. Not only is Wade just an annoying person who can’t take anything seriously, in his incorrect opinion, but there’s that level of guilt for feeling like a freeloader when Nate is the kind of person who’s had to fight just to survive his entire life. Wade’s little notes are so sweet, but to Nate, 1. weird 2. is this a joke? 3. stop reminding me of how much you care and meanwhile i can barely bring myself to write a note back, aaaaaa

I need to remember to revive the note-leaving between them in the sequel. It’s too cute, I can’t stand it.

-

Mercenary jobs had become harder to come by, and then work dried up. It was almost like nobody wanted to pay a guy to kill people anymore. As if there could ever be a shortage of people in the world who needed to die. But when one door closes, another opens -- everywhere he went, he suddenly saw slews of missing persons flyers. Wade had never noticed how many there were before, but he took it as a sign. He'd always wanted to try his hand at being a P.I. and Wade hadn't realized that the market was booming with families desperate to find loved ones. He offered his services as a private dick to several different people, but every single case was unsolvable. It was like they'd just vanished into thin air, but he knew that wasn't possible. It was frustrating to realize he was such a lousy dick.

Spoilers, but this is when the Thanos snap happens, and Wade is completely oblivious. Could someone who can be so devastatingly observant really be so obtuse? Or is his mind just protecting itself from such an incomprehensible reality that everyone else is suddenly saddled with? These are things Nate wonders later as well. Even I don’t know for sure. (I haven’t watched End Game and there’s still more plotline to tackle during the Snap, don’t @ me about how Marvel did it, I don’t know and I don’t care, I have my own plans)  (By the way, characters will either be snapped or inexplicably alive, and that’s not a plot hole, that’s the joke. Welcome to Marvel, the writers never fucking make sense and I don’t have to either, YEET)

[Someone tried to sell a metal arm on the black market????!! It better be Bucky's and not yours. Not like I care.] [It was Bucky's.]

Rip Buckkyyyyyy lmaooo

But also, cryyyy because Nate is busy trying to help deal with absolute fucking chaos and he didn’t really stop to consider whether Wade would be wondering what happened to him. Ow. Yeah, I think Wade definitely subconsciously registered what happened and is in total denial of reality. It’s better that way. Nobody fucking tell him.

-

There was nothing that he hated more than being ignored. Might as well just talk to himself. Which he did a lot of lately.

Foreshadowing.

-

All of the warmth left his body at once, leaving him a little breathless and dizzy. He was vaguely aware of Nate looking at him, but it was less of a 'you're home' and more of a ' why are you here?'

This whole area of the fic hurts so good because I’m gay and I love drama.

Wade coming home, literally bleeding to death on the inside and in shock because, once again, everything went to shit for him, story of his life. And he sees Nate just there, dressed down, relaxed, and has this little flash of domestic happiness because he so desperately wishes that the domestic happiness was real and that Nate actually was waiting for him and happy to see him come home, and the hard snap back to reality where Nate doesn’t even like him is soooo fucking painful lol end me. And on top of that, he misread Nate’s concern as hate/disgust for him bc that’s what he’s used to, and then he passes out on the floor and wakes up with Nate over him because I’m gay and I love drama!!!!

-

"Wade, you died for a second," Nate told him. Wade couldn't quite tell if Nate was concerned for him or just annoyed. "I had to pull a piece of metal pipe from your chest. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I got a… pipe in my chest," Wade said, pausing for breath. His lungs felt wet and heavy. He should've left the pipe in.

"Very illuminating," Nate deadpanned, letting go. "Anything else I should know?"

This moment where Nate is so very fucking concerned for Wade, but then Wade cracks a weak joke, because that’s how he copes, and Nate is like, wow, fuck it, so much for being worried about you.

[[SCREAMS IN GAY.]]

-

These thoughts didn't feel like his own, even though they had his voice. His mind was always scattered, full of thoughts that flowed nonstop like a babbling brook. Sometimes it took a lot of conscious effort to reign himself in and make sense of his own head. But these just popped out of nowhere, in bold print, in boxes that were separate from everything else.

"Am I going nuts?" he wondered aloud, whispering to himself, because honestly, he was a little afraid of his own head right now.

(A little late to be asking that.)

And this is when the ‘boxes’ manifest for Wade. But in this fic, the voices that manifest in his head are his own intrusive, negative thoughts. The depression, the loneliness, the self-hatred, the belief and fear that Nate hates him too.

-

I’m gonna recap vs a full copy and paste because the next bit is long:

-Wade is coughing up blood clots from his lungs in the morning, or trying to. -Nate is disgusted but also sympathetic and offers to help Wade out. -A really layered conversation occurs.

“Maybe if I drown myself in the bathtub, the blood clots will rinse out. What d'you think?"

Wade’s exhausted. Joking, but also dead serious. Nate is concerned about Wade making such a dark joke, but he also can tell that Wade really is struggling.

“I’ll help you.”

“Really?” Wade is relieved Nate wants to help him, at first, but then remembers he just said he wanted to drown himself in a bathtub, and becomes disheartened again because he remembers Nate doesn’t like him. “Oh. Yeah.”

From Wade’s point of view: Nate just offered to help Wade kill himself, because of course someone would get a kick out of drowning him, he’s annoying, yadda yadda.

From Nate’s point of view: Wade isn’t okay and he offered to help him with his problem, because he sounds desperate and Nate doesn’t think that jokes will help Wade with his mental state, nor will the drowning actually do anything to solve the problem (the blood clots festering in his lungs).

"I bet you'd love to hold me down and watch me struggle," he said, still thinking about the drowning idea. Then, in a flirtatious tone, "I'll make it good for you, baby. Just promise me we'll do it face to face."

From Wade’s POV: He’s making a joke about Nate drowning him, but also making a sex joke to make it funny, to mock Nate if he really does want to drown Wade, so maybe he wouldn’t do it, or maybe it’d be weird and interesting.

From Nate’s POV: Wade is flirting with him, and his humor and still really dark and Nate really shouldn’t laugh at it or encourage that kind of thing.

From Wade’s POV, seeing Nate trying not smile: ah holy fuck he really wants to drown me.

"I don't want to watch you struggle," Nate said. If he did, he'd just leave Wade alone to keep coughing up blood.

"Ah. Consensual," Wade nodded. "Okay, well, I'd be open to some over-the-clothes stuff, and whatever happens while I'm still dead doesn't count."

Nate couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think we're having the same conversation."

Wade is continuing the joke, because from his POV he’s like, whelp, this might as well be what happens.

But they really aren’t having the same conversation. There’s more like, four different conversations happening at once. Wade’s very sincere idea of drowning himself as a solution to his problems, and Wade joking about Nate drowning him as a sexual innuendo.  Nate interpreting Wade’s dark humor as a shitty attempt at flirting that he neither wants to encourage nor outright shoot down, and Nate offering to give Wade a better solution to fix his actual problem.

And Nate’s solution is to use his telekinesis to just... remove all the shit from Wade’s lungs. But he didn’t communicate that idea with Wade before just doing it, even if he did ask permission, so that’s pretty shitty and hence why we had to add the ‘Nonconsensual Telekinetic Heimlich Maneuver’ tag. smh

"That was dubious at best and now we have to add a warning in the tags," Wade sighed. "Non-consensual telekinetic Heimlich maneuver…. This is problematic now. People aren't gonna click on this."

-

This is a good spot to stop for now and continue in another post.

[wavemaker9]

wanted to address details of depressed diego, there’s a main focus on suicidal thoughts + like a very brief mention of self harm so careful as needed

The more i think about it, though, the more i just feel like the only reason diego’s even still around is taking rosa in? Like i think i already touched on her being the reason he cleans his life up even slightly from where he was when younger, but it can’t just be that. he’s a depressed guy with little energy, not much going on in his life, and no real motivation to get it to any place that’s sustainable long term. When he was in his late teens/early 20s he knew he had a whole life still to go and a lot of expectations placed on him to do something with it and no want to do that. Like my depression first started in late high school when I was expected to start looking for colleges to go to and it built back up after i graduated college and had to start looking for a job because i was so worried of having to go into a stressful retail job or something that i knew i wouldn’t be able to handle. This kid’s more lazy and worse at socializing than even I am and he’s doing those stressful retail/food jobs like pizza delivery literally just because money is needed to live. and like. I don’t think he was ever actively planning on doing anything, but he definitely had at least a few of those ‘hmm i could just step out into the street right now and not have to worry about this shit anymore’ moments. 

suicidal humor probably was (and likely still is) a big crutch to him to a point. “You know what would be better than [minor effort]? Death.” is probably a joke he mentally has/does make a /lot/, and might even slip out to friends he trusted not to get all weird about it. ‘(Diego tapping the side of his head) Don’t have to go to work to make money to live if you’re dead.’ One of the occasional jokes he’ll fall back on when asked why he sleeps so much is def ‘It’s the closest I can get to death’ if he thinks it won’t cause a big thing. I don’t think he’s to the level of Kyle in a day to day basis of almost inviting death, the real diego would probably pass up several opportunities to die. Diego doesn’t have the energy to live the reckless lifestyle Kyle does and I also don’t think he’s one for just general self harm like Kyle often can be. Might be related to the blood issues, either the cause of them or them being the cause of this, but even if not related, that’s a concrete thing I think, diego having no interest in self harm actions. The reverse of Kyle, he wants to keep his pain only sexual, please. 

But I also do think that, also unlike kyle, if /actually/ faced with death, he wouldn’t suddenly realize he’s not as cool with it as he thought he was. If anything, maybe realizes he’s way more okay with it than he expected? Assumed it would be a ‘but if really faced with it I wouldn’t be as chill about it’ scenario but has since come to terms with ‘okay but maybe i would?’. But then he had to take Rosa in and that gave him a more concrete reason to have to do these things, to have to stay alive, because Rosa needed someone to help look out for her. I think that also factoring into why she still lives with him. Not just afraid to move out because Extra Responsibility + Diego might slump back down into terrible living conditions, but also like. If that’s how he felt at a young age with his whole life ahead of him, imagine how he’d feel now getting older. But on the other hand, I think even with her living with him, he’s starting to see she’s still maturing into a more capable adult. It’s slow, but he’s starting to believe she could manage without him again. Again, he’s not actively considering taking any drastic actions, but i think he has a lower resistant to them as time goes on when the thoughts do come to him, + his self-preservation is also relatively low, just thankfully without the extreme recklessness kyle adds onto it for himself. Also, want to clarify Rosa’s not specifically living a dependent life for him to help make him feel like he needs to stay alive for her, it really is just in her nature to be like that, but it has this added bonus of helping him out which also kind of does the opposite of encourage her to fix her own flaws. 

I’ll also say, like. I don’t think having people around he’s close to, even with Rosa to a point, makes those feelings specifically /lessen/ in favorability. Like there’s less of a want to because need to be around to help Rosa, but death /does/ always seem easier to him than not. Kyle, in contrast, largely thanks to his BPD, always tends to do a bit better on average when having a good support network and people he can recognize even a little care about him, and he’s way less likely to deal with any suicidal thoughts/quite such risky behavior/etc when he feels like he has more friends/family/etc because then he’d be losing them and they’re everything that means anything to him so doesn’t wanna do that. 

That doesn’t mean much for Diego, though. Having friends like Will, Marion, and Sergey around don’t make that feeling any less because A, he’s very detached from his feelings anyway so even if he likes having them around, their emotional impact on him still feels low. B, he’s pretty sure each of them could easily manage without him so like that’s whatever. thinks might be doing them a favor if he wasn’t around because then they don’t have to deal with his shit. C, having them around doesn’t fix the issues in his life. It does for Kyle because while not all of his problem are relationship based, the biggest ones are and so if he knows he has a shit ton of love and approval that can fix a lot for him or at least make the mood dips more tolerable. For Diego, his main complaints in life are the efforts, not the relays. He’s fine at any point in his life where he doesn’t have a lot of friends or whatever. It’s the realization that he’s going to be working in some shitty job(s) he hates probably forever since there’s no way he’ll make enough to get a good retirement situation, until he fucking dies of old age just being even more tired than he normally is. Why not cut out the fucking middle man, yknow? 

Also! As Kyle gets older, his mood swings tend to mellow out slightly and he has a bit of an easier time handling shit, but I think the depression for Diego only worsens as he gets older because again, the only way his problems get better as he gets older is literally just “I mean at this point I’ll probably only have to work 20 more years until my shitty health probably kills me instead of 40.” Like beyond just fucking marrying a sugar daddy or some shit so he never has to work again, there isn’t much that’s going to help him as he gets older and even like. Again, sorry to keep drawing back to Kyle but he’s the only other kid whose depression is that bad. If Kyle were talked into going to talk to a psychologist or something, eventually he’d feel more comfortable with it and take more of an active effort to go on his own and embrace the help more. 

That’s fucking effort and work and time that probably eats up what little bit of free time Diego has outside of his job(s) and whatever, though, and you can pry that from his cold dead hands. He’d have to be made to go every single time, he’d be more resistant as the effort to fix his behavior got higher, and the moment he can get away with not going anymore, he starts skipping appointments fast. Listen, minus the suicidal factors, I’m just basing his depression/health awareness off mine and I need ya’ll know that 90% of the reason I don’t do things like go find a psychologist or take a more active role in fixing my poor health is that that would eat up my free time and I don’t wanna /do/ that. My free time is important to me and I’d rather just be unhealthy than lose some chill time, especially given the whole ‘depression makes the fun things you do less enjoyable’ factor. those are my shitty terrible priorities, and they’d also be diego’s. + I also know I’m resistant to any effort to change behavior I don’t already feel like changing because despite being a low-energy, emotionally detached disaster adult, I’ve also reached the highest point of self-confidence i’ve ever had in my life so i can recognize i have problems i could easily fix but i’m chill with where i am for once so it feels unnecessary anyway. Same for him, although less from high self-confidence and more from exceptionally low standards for himself. 

Like, he’s not itching to change and his coping mechanism of just not having to deal with any of his mental health issues while he’s asleep is working well enough atm, don’t worry about it. he can sleep more if he’s not wasting that time going to see a therapist or whatever + doesn’t have to leave the house for that so like. Why not just sleep??? Diego ‘Why be healthy when you can nap?’ Andrés. Also like as if he had Go to a Therapist money anyway.

[ichibri]

@supernovaecastaway Okay, here's a bit (or a lot, oops) about my wip novel "Prince of Hell" that's I've been developing for 7ish years now. But first, just a heads up that there's lots of dark themes in it including: murder, suicide, self-harm, torture, abuse, sexual assault, mentions of pedophilia, etc. It's about hell and demons, folks, so it's not always so pretty. Also, lots of religious/mythology undertones. Okay, warnings aside, here we go. Under the cut cause it got long

There are three separate, parallel planes that make up this world - Heaven, Earth, and Hell. They're all connected by one ruler, that being whoever possesses the Tablets of Destiny. Currently that's the Almighty (God, pretty much. But because every person has different beliefs and views them differently, the Almighty goes by many names and takes many forms, pretty much whatever name/form the person looking at them believes in). And then we have Lucifer who rules Hell and is plotting to steal the Tablets to gain control of Heaven and Earth, because he's power hungry and is sick of having to bow to the Almighty and their archangels. But the story doesn't actually focus on Lucifer. His plotting is from the background and slowly builds until it collides with the main character's story (which I'll get to). Okay, but world building. So Heaven and Hell are built on death and sin. Everyone dies and everyone has sin. Even the tiniest baby and the sweetest old lady have sin. So everyone is punished. Whether they lived a godly life or have blood-stained hands, their journey of death starts in the bottom layers of Hell (There's 10 layers altogether. The top 3 are residential/agricultural/livable layers, but the bottom 7 are various levels of punishment). The greater the sin, the harsher the punishment (torture, pretty much). And the whole idea is that the human souls must ascend through the layers of punishment while keeping their souls intact. Once their penance is payed, they're allowed into Heaven as angels and given a chance at reincarnation if they so choose. But if their soul breaks down under the torture, they mutate into beasts and become demons that are stuck in Hell (and if they're devoured by other demons, it's over for them. They die die and their soul doesn't get to return to Earth). The whole idea of the punishment system is to reward the good and ensure "pure" souls continue the cycle of life by eventually returning to Earth. But that system is greatly flawed. Because it doesn't judge goodness. It judges how strong someone's soul is. For instance, a child's greatest sin could be stealing a candy bar from a store. That's about a level 2 punishment. But their soul is young and fragile and more easily broken. So they end up in Hell. Whereas a serial killer could have a soul of steel. They are so unbreakable in their depraved ideals that they survive the punishment and are given sanctuary in Heaven. And in most (if not all) modern religions, the greatest sin someone can commit is suicide. So level 7 punishment - the harshest, practically unsurvivable torture - is reserved for the souls who are already vulnerable. It's a flawed, rigged system, and it leads to lots of morally gray characters. And as the main chara finds out throughout the story, nothing is as black and white as it seems. Okay, gonna move on to the main five characters cause I could babble forever about the structures of Hell and Heaven, basically yeah, Hell isn't all bad and Heaven isn't rainbows and unicorns. Some would argue, they'd prefer Hell.

Angelo

Our main character. Nicknamed Angel by Pantera as a rude joke that eventually sticks and turns into a term of endearment. He's a human who didn't actually die, per se. One night, he and a buddy (Ryan, his crush) got drunk at a college party, and because Ryan was far more wasted, Angelo was the one to drive them home. Only, it was icy and snowing and they crashed. Ryan was dead on impact, and in his guilt, Angelo begged to trade his life for Ryan's. Normally, that wouldn't be enough to summon a demon, but it was the night of the December solstice (one of the days - along with Walpurgis Night, Halloween, and the solstices and equinoxes - in which demons can freely cross into Earth).

So Angelo sells his soul to a demon and he's taken to Hell to be auctioned off (Souls are mainly seen as pets/property in Hell, a luxury as well because the contracted souls never go through punishment. They're often used for "entertainment" or labor or plain old devouring). Angelo was on the fast track to being a warty old frog demon's toy before Prince Ian swooped in and quietly saved his ass.

Thus begins Angelo's everyday life in Hell, and he slowly discovers the demons around him aren't as scary and cruel as he expected they'd be.

And he's got a plot line of growth where he realizes he probably shouldn't have thrown his life away for Ryan (because Ryan wouldn't have done the same for him, which he finds out when he uses an oracle pool to check up on Ryan). He gradually finds that love he was looking for in Ian. They have one of those relationships were they start as friends and then they see the other doing something utterly mundane and think "god, I'm in love with him."

Prince Ian

One of Lucifer's chosen heirs (There's 50 altogether. They work in the punishment levels and are encouraged to devour and fight among themselves so that only the strongest survive. If one dies, they're quickly replaced with another demon. It all ties in with Lucifer's secret plotting to steal the Tablets).

I'm gonna be honest. His human name is Ian, but it's not what he goes by cause he doesn't remember his name/past life (which is common for newborn demons. As they devour souls and each other, they lose their beastly instincts and slowly remember themselves and their humanity, and their physical forms get less beastly and more humanoid too). Except he's not newborn. He was a contracted soul like Angelo, but Lucifer put him through the tortures of Hell to break him and mold him into a stronger general. Didn't really work. Pretty much just gave him anxiety, depression, and daddy issues.

But anyway, yeah, his original name was Prince Neko (I know, cringe. I was a much bigger dweeb in my early hs years when I first started working on this story). Ian is the character I've been overhauling the most, so I haven't picked a new name for him yet. But it'll probably still be cringy and cat related somehow, cause his demon form closely resembles a cat (again, he's getting redesigned, so nothing about his look is really set in stone yet), and Lucifer is the one who named him, and well, Lucifer is a dickbag. Like major pile of useless old dicks. [Edit - his new name is Kotě and yeah, he’s still got a cat design]

Anyway, Ian's story arc is pretty much about him trying to remember who he is and finding proof of his past, most recent life. Because Lucifer pretty much has him brainwashed into thinking he was this cruel, ruthless, bloodthirsty person. And although we see none of that in Ian's character (he's a soft, kindhearted soul), he's so lost as to who he is that he believes anything Lucifer tells him (he's got a stockholmy relationship with Lucifer).

Jagger

Femme nonbinary. In a polyamorous relationship with Murciélago and Pantera. Ian's attandant (similar to Angelo, Jagger was saved by Ian. As a newborn demon, they were almost devoured. Ian saved them, and they've been together ever since). Very stoic and loyal. One glare from them can shut up the nastiest of demons. But their bark is bigger than their bite. They're more of a 'knowledge is power' person than a 'punch first and ask questions later' person. They'd rather avoid and strategically retreat from physically combative situations than start a brawl in the streets.

Jagger's sin was murder. They killed their mother. They were already an adult when the incident happened, living and working on their own. They came home for a visit and noticed their little sister (like a 15yr age gap between them, so lil sis is about 12) was acting strangely. She was quiet, reserved, and flinchy where Jagger knew her to be this really cheerful and bubbly little kid. Jagger had a gut feeling something was wrong, so they starting coming around more often, dropping by unannounced to check in. And on one of those visits, they walk in on their mother beating their sister within an inch of her life, and Jagger grabs a kitchen knife and fights off their mom, eventually killing her. Jagger never knew their mom to be violent (she wasn't loving, but she never raised a hand to Jagger) so Jagger curses themself for not noticing sooner and for distancing themself in adulthood. Long story short, the lil sis went off to live happily with an aunt and uncle and Jagger was killed a short few weeks later in a prison brawl. Hence why Jagger would rather avoid altercations altogether, because they regret not getting to live out a life with their lil sis.

Jagger's character design is still up in the air. They're one that's getting a major makeover, so all I've decided on in is they're gonna be more beastly than I originally intended (sue me, Ima a monster fucker now, hs me would probs be appalled). [Edit - lol, yeahh did I say beastly?? More like furry, oops. They’re design is now based on a honey badger, so they maybe appear soft and cuddly, but when they bare their teeth, they’re quite rabid]

Prince Murciélago

Surprise, surprise, he's a bat demon. Nicknamed Ciel. But Pantera calls him Mercy (it's a sexual innuendo & others assume it's because Ciel begs for mercy in the bedroom but really, Pantera's the one doing the begging). He's pretty quiet and reserved, doesn't really stand out other than, you know, giant ass bat wings. But he comes off as lanky and frail, and physically, he is. But mentally, he's the one everyone comes to for comfort. He's the one dishing out heartfelt advice and a shoulder to cry on and the very best hugs.

And considering his sin was suicide, he's come a long way from the newborn demon who was broken and just looking for someone stronger to devour him (it was Pantera who he came across, and well, Pantera is a rough guy but he's not cruel. And long backstory short, Pantera and Jagger brought Ciel into their relationship and it become the 3 of them). As a human, Ciel was a poor rural farmer without much to his name. He struggled with depression and eventually decided to end his life by ingesting crop pesticides. But now, after finding a family with not only Jagger and Pantera, but also Ian and the rest of Pantera's faction (more on factions in a bit), Ciel is the mental strength of the group. And more often than not, he's the backbone holding everyone up.

Prince Pantera

My main squeeze, my man, the love of my life! And also the most quietly tragic character in the story (of course). Nicknamed Tera. Of the main five, he's been in Hell the longest (died the youngest tho). His design is based around a black panther. He's broad, hulking, just this crude, big buff burly beast of a dude. [Edit - his beef had been cut back a bit, lol. Imagine a Shiro-level of buffness. Broad shoulders, dorito-like, still beefy but not like muscle-head beefy] He's the muscle of the group, but surprisingly, he's not good in fights. Kinda sucks at them actually. He just knows how to take a punch so he ends up outlasting his opponents with stamina. But also gets the shit beat out of him along the way.

And okay, to understand most of his character and decisions, you have to know his human life (thus he comes off as a sketchy, ruthless and rather heartless guy at first). Pantera's sin was murder, and he was only 17. He was the eldest son of a single mother, and he had 2 little sisters and a little brother (ages between 7-10). After his father died, his mother remarried in order to keep the family afloat and have a breadwinner in the family (gotta remember, Pantera lived in an older era where woman stayed at home to raise the family). Anyway, his step-father was scum, downright fucking evil and deserved the torture kill that Pantera gave him. Because Pantera found out his step-father was molesting his younger siblings. His mother couldn't do anything to protect them, so Pantera took it into his own hands. And he tortured the guy. There's a scene where he's talking to Angelo about what humans consider sins to be (like being gay is a sin) and Pantera just says, "I'm not here cause I like to suck dick. I'm here cause I cut one off." So yeah, his sin was murdering his step-father. And a couple days after, Pantera was hunted down and killed by his step-father's gang of friends.

So now, Pantera's role is protector. He protects his found family, he protects the weak, he protects those who cannot fight for themselves. And he has no qualms about getting dirty and staining his hands in blood to do so. But there's more to his protection than just fighting and killing (altho, he's stationed in the level of Hell that rapists and pedos go to, and Pantera makes sure none of them get out of alive. When he fails to break one of their souls, he falls into this dark depression and those are days where Ciel becomes the backbone that supports Pantera the Protector).

But yeah, remember when I said Lucifer was a bag of dicks? He's downright scum. Lucifer comes off as this open minded, super accepting ruler of "be whoever you want to be". But there are no boundaries to that. Wanna be a rapist? Lucifer has no qualms with that, cause he is too. Wanna kill every soul you come across? Go for it, no one's gonna stop you. And when Lucifer wants something, he gets it. He's known to prey upon his heirs and take them to bed whether they want to or not. Pantera's experienced it and has heard gruesome tales from other heirs. So Pantera's protections extend to protecting Ian and Ciel from Lucifer's sexual appetite. Meaning Pantera takes their place. It's one of many deals he has with Lucifer, because Pantera would rather he suffer and be hurt than to allow anyone he loves to go through it again.

But those deals he has with Lucifer are hidden. Because he has lots of other deals where the nasty, cruel jobs meant for Ciel, Ian, or other weaker heirs are given to him instead. He also has one where he became Lucifer's dog to ensure his siblings souls didn't go through punishment and got a fast track to Heaven (despite knowing that meant he would never get the chance to see them again). So there are scenes where Angelo believes Tera is betraying the group because he sees the two in hushed and/or suggestive conversations, but it's really just Pantera making sure his family remains safe and whole, even if that means sacrificing himself to keep it that way. And okay, I could go on forever about Pantera and how much he's willing to give up for his family, but on to the factions of Hell. 

Factions

There are 3 main factions among the heirs. The leaders are Pantera, Toro, and Anzu. (Lucifer names his heirs, it's part of breaking them down to groom them into his generals. And only the strongest generals inherit the names of old (like Anzu, Azazel, Bahamut, etc.)).

Pantera's and Anzu's factions are constantly at each other throats, because Pantera's believes in the strong protecting the weak because everyone, regardless of status or power, deserves to live a peaceful life. They believe in helping your fellow demon and giving to those that need it. And his faction isn't afraid to get their hands dirty to protect those beliefs and ensure the safety of all.

But Anzu's faction follows Lucifer's belief, but to an even more extreme. They believe in the strong conquering the weak and taking whatever they want. They thrive off chaos and cruelty. They prey on anyone who's vulnerable, including members of their own faction. Think of them like the people in The Purge movies who go out and murder everyone instead of just getting a months worth of free groceries.

Lastly, there's Toro's faction. They are neutral. Their belief is every demon for themself, they don't really care unless it personally affects them. Mainly, they just want to remain out of the cross-hairs of the power struggle between Pantera and Anzu. But when push eventually comes to shove, most chose to align themselves with Pantera's faction.

And the factions eventually play a role in Lucifer trying to steal the Tablets. Which is why Lucifer tends to fan the flames between them, because again, he greatly encourages in-fighting to assure only his strongest generals remain at his side. But the split of the factions will determine whether he succeeds, because lets be honest, Pantera would rather hand control of Hell over to an archangel (he hates archangels okay, they treat demons like garbage even though most the archangels have worse sins than the demons) than let Lucifer rule the entirety of their three worlds.

And okay, bonus character! 

Princess Zaba

That’s her as a little clay charm I made. She’s a tiny little dart frog demon (like only 2cm tall). She wears cloaks that Ciel makes for her, and she lives in a little vivarium made up like a dollhouse. Her sin was suicide. She felt her existence didn’t matter, and now she’s so small that most demons don’t even notice her. She covers up her insecurities with sarcasm though, and is close friends with the main five (especially Pantera). She likes riding around in their pockets. 

And okay, that’s all for now, lol. It’s long enough, and honestly, I had a hard time congesting it to just this. Cause trust me, I could on and on about this story and it’s characters for hours. I just love them so much.

[arthoure]

Hi! i was (not so anymore) discreetly checking out your blog and i caught onto smth that got my attention and i hopeyou dont mind me asking! would you explain more of seliph/ares? it sounds really interesting to hear more about in depth! thanks :o)

Angela is this you.

BUT JUST IN CASE IT’S NOT. Oh my god anon ohhhhh my god. 

So mostly my thoughts started rolling here, but then they never stopped. Like, I have to attempt to organize them bellow but sorry if they’re still super rambly.

1. Dynamic DuoI’m just really enamoured with the pair they make: the foils they are and how they bring out the best in each other. Seliph has always been raised knowing he’s supposed to take charge of things, but he doesn’t seem nearly as at-ease with it as Ares does, who just busts into castles full of noblemen like “Son of Eltshan, lord of the dead, hi how u doin.” He’s very ponderous and sometimes it’d be good for him to get a good, brash kick in the pants. He’s very sensitive and sometimes it’d be good for him to have someone more jaded around to point out that he shouldn’t beat himself up for the cruel sacrifices he has to make for the greater good. (He has Oifey and Shanan for that too, but I think that sort of reassurance from a peer and friend, someone his own age, is not to be underestimated). Likewise, Ares is so emotionally constipated and it’d be good for him to hang with someone who doesn’t accept stonewalling or table-flipping as an acceptable way to solve a problem, someone who is very communicative and calm. Imo they have a lot to learn from each other and those lessons could really round out their leadership styles. Seliph and Leif (and Ares and Leif) are good foils too, but Seliph and Ares are so dynamic when you stand them back-to-back. Like, nobody would want to fight one of them alone – imagine them together. 

(Their colour schemes are just nice too, in a medieval context, haha. Black for death and knowledge, blue for purity.) 

2. Seliph’s Friendship is Staggering for Ares, ContextuallyIt’s mentioned in one reference (uhggg I forget which) that Ares lived a very solitary life, so. Canon friendless emo kid suddenly meets a guy who pronounces them friends the moment they meet and KEEPS INSISTING IT AFTER RECEIVING A DEATH THREAT. Ares has learned to push people away, has learned that he can’t trust anyone, and Seliph is the first person he meets who just calls him on his bullshit and doesn’t let himself be pushed. Jabarro turns on him, Lene gets angry and tells Ares to leave, but Seliph insists on friendship, and I think after a life like Ares’s, that would be very profoundly touching (after he gets over being ANGRAY and bewildered). 

You get this impression that Ares is this very Stronk, Door-Smashing kind of guy and that Seliph is quiet and meek, but really their first meeting just showcases Seliph’s particular kind of strength and stubbornness. Ares is literally described in-game as someone you “wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley” but Seliph is unafraid, matches him turn for turn. He’s the first person Ares has met who can really keep up with him – and he actively wants Ares there, at his side. He has such a big heart ;^;.

3. Ending subtextSeliph has a cheesy line about them seeing their kingdoms to glory “hand in hand” and he doesn’t say it to any other dudes so idk make of that what you will (you already know what I’m making of it).

4. The Journey to Being BestiesBy the end of the game they’re canonically BFFs. We don’t get to see any of the development, but it’s not too hard to imagine. Best friends confide in each other – Ares is probably one of the only people (excluding Seliph’s mentors), maybe even the only person considering Leif’s view of Seliph, that has heard about Seliph’s doubts and insecurities. He’s certainly one of the only people who has seen the fabulous Heir of Light as a regular guy, a young man making mistakes and feeling uncertain, maybe getting tispy, maybe snoring, maybe sneezing at a bad moment. And by the end of the game Seliph has certainly seen the real Ares (because you can’t look at that guy and believe he’s not 99% an act. HE’S SUCH A HAM). The Black Knight with the bloodthirsty sword laughing at jokes, giving his cousin swordfighting lessons, maybe even disclosing some of his daddy issues. By the endgame Ares trusts Seliph, which makes him vulnerable to Seliph. One of the most misanthropic characters in the game follows one of the most hopeful, and allows some of that hope to rub off on him, even getting over a lifelong grudge to do so, and I think just on a thematic level that’s some pretty powerful stuff.   

5. The Lifelong Grudge“Enemies to lovers” has never really been my thing, but what I love about Ares’s grudge is that it’s completely unfounded. He goes his entire life believing Sigurd betrayed his father, and he’s consumed with getting his revenge, and then when he actually meets Seliph, Seliph completely rips the rug out from underneath him. He takes away Ares’s entire reason for living. (It’s both painful and hilarious, really.) Though it’s not covered in the game, I think it’s more than reasonable to assume that Seliph himself helps Ares come to terms with all this. The whole concept has such a neat phoenix effect with Eltshan and Sigurd’s tragedy: from all that manipulation and sorrow and anger come two very honest boys who manage to build upon the foundation laid for them, and make something better and more lasting. Even if they don’t end up as a romantic option, it’s canon that Grannvale and Augustria are each others’ greatest allies while Seliph and Ares are reigning. 

They’re sons who want nothing more than to make their fathers proud, and by becoming friends, they end up surpassing their fathers and redeeming their old mistakes. I think it would be a very empowering and validating experience for both of them. (For me it amplifies the shipping feels like 100%. Ares has had so few people who love and care about him, and for the person who loves him the most to be Seliph is such a sweet thought to me.)

6. Other random thingsThey’re a Darkness + Sunshine couple and that’s hilarious. Literally Andy and April from Parks and Rec.Ares: Someone’s going to die. Seliph: Of FUN! :D

I headcanon Ares as very tall and Seliph as shortish so that’s cute. Especially since Seliph has both the physical strength and emotional clout to make Ares look up at him, so to speak, if he really needs to.

Don’t you think they’d admire each other so so so much? Seliph watching Ares wrecking shop and thinking “wow he’s so badass and passionate he tries so hard at everything all the time”; and Ares watching Seliph comfort their peers the way he does in the endgame if anyone’s lover dies, thinking “oh my god he’s so nice and so giving what a genuinely good guy in a world of shitty people.”

Ares letting Seliph borrow his black cloak tho

Verbal, cute, emotionally-open Seliph remarking from time to time how glad he is that he and Ares met

They both have long hair and it seems pretty important to them (Seliph bc it’s Isaachian culture and Ares bc he wants to look Just Like Dad, I assume) so they can just like. Play with each others’ hair and other nice things. 

They’re foils but they still have a lot in common!! They can have cool spars with their sacred swords and long talks about JUSTICE and conspire about how tf to be kings when they were a refugee and a child soldier their whole lives.

There’s probably more???? I’m probably forgetting something. Feel free to pry further if you want I’m just a mess aaaaa