#I’m a sucker for couples who care about each other like this

[betterthanbatman1]

Umm I love them???

[dearharriet]

I Want Your Video; Steve Harrington x Reader 📼

summary: steve always takes care of you on a night out.

word count: 1.4K

warnings: drinking, smoking, swearing, fem!reader, fluff

a/n: inspired by a djo song with the same title. i’m such a sucker for steve <3

“I ‘ave to go t’the bathrooom,” you tell Steve, holding tight to the hot skin of his bicep. In a drunken stupor, your thumb swipes sweetly over it once, unable to resist.

His other arm, the one you’re not holding to, has your clutch tucked under it. It’s unclear if he’s being gentlemanly or if he’s monitoring your intake. He certainly didn’t take Nancy’s or Robin’s. Or Argyle’s belly bag.

“‘Kay, be safe,” Steve says, patting your elbow. He looks a touch hot, red-cheeked and a little damp around the edges. Dancing must’ve made a mess of you if he looks so disheveled from just standing and talking. You furrow your brows.

“Come with me?” Pouting, your grip slides down to take his hand, but he pulls away.

“Uh—maybe Nance or Rob should do that.”

He says it like such a request is verboten. You look back towards Nance and Robin, relentlessly moving on the dance floor.

“They won’t go with meeee—“ you whine, and then simper when he sighs in defeat.

Steve steers you toward the stairwell that leads down to the toilets. While you weave through the crowds, he stays behind you, a steadying force at your back.

The stairwell is much cooler than the bar. It’s a relief to suck in air that’s not muggy with sweat and beer. At the bottom of the dingey stairs a couple is draped over one another talking closely, and nearer to the bathroom there’s a trio of people sharing a smoke and waiting. Steve and you take up residence just next to them. The concrete wall is cooling on your hot back and it elicits a sigh.

“Having fun?” Steve asks, facing you with his arms crossed and a shoulder leant on the wall. Your clutch is shoved in his front pocket like a miniature Bible.

“Uh-huh.” You nod with exaggerated windedness. “Wish you’d dance with me, though.”

The bathroom door clicks open and a guy comes out, nodding awkwardly at all seven heads turned his way. The queue dwindles to three again—plus Steve, who is smiling at you apologetically.

“Nah, you wouldn’t wanna see me dance. I tend to intimidate people with how skilled I am.”

A laugh bubbles out of you. “Ohhh, right,” you nod. “Must be hard, having all that talent. And you’re s’busy keepin’ me sober.” You speak so fast the words slur on the way out, and Steve chuckles teasingly.

“I’m doin’ a shit job, aren’t I? You’re in a state already.” He reaches out and brushes your arm when he says this, his knuckles leaving goosebumps behind them. When he pulls his hand back he’s grown more sincere. “Who said I’m keeping you sober? I’ve let you drink all you want.”

“You let me,” you tease, “But you’re keeping my wallet. And you’ve been watching me all night.”

“Yeah, well.” He looks defensive. “Someone’s gotta have your back.”

The bathroom door opens again, and the line shrinks even more. You pick the conversation right back up.

“What ‘bout Nance and Rob? And the guys?” Turning toward Steve, your arms cross so you’re mirroring him. “They’ve all got their wallets.”

“They’ve got each other, too.” Steve playfully swings at your shoulder, and you take the hit willingly. “Who’s got you, huh, rockstar?”

A smile splits your face with glee at the nickname. You step closer and you’re about to answer—you, you’ve got me—when Steve clears his throat.

You frown, and Steve smiles, juts his chin toward the bathroom door. It’s empty, you realize, and Steve and you are alone. It seems the third member of the bathroom trio was only company, like Steve.

“You know what to do,” Steve mutters, and you reluctantly peel away from the wall.

“Oh, wait!” You whip around and offer a hand out for your wallet. Steve gives it over wordlessly, and then you’re locking the door behind you.

As suspected, you look a mess. Your hair is frizzed and a touch tangled. Dark mauve eyeliner has smoked itself out—all over your undereye—and your cheeks are red and dampened with sweat.

Despite it all, you feel good. You brought your clutch so you could touch up your lipstick, and you do, but you don’t need to. It’s almost like what Steve said; You’re a rockstar. You look like one, anyway.

After washing your hands, the only thing you do to your appearance is fluff your hair up even more, playing up this smudged version of your original look.

It feels impossibly easy to grin at Steve once you emerge from the bathroom. Steve laughs.

“Why do I feel like you got more drunk while you were in there?”

You tighten your smile primly. “Not drunker, just better looking.”

Steve pulls his brows together almost painfully, his features unreadable. You saunter over to him anyways, stepping into his bubble. His full back is pressed to the wall now, a leg kicked up, and you’re as close as you can get without being thigh-to-knee. Steve’s nervous eyes scan you.

“Want me to take that?” Steve points to your clutch. You nod, but ignore the hand he has waiting for you. Feeling bold, you reach around him and tuck it into his back pocket. Your chests meet, and then crush closer as you both gasp. Pulling away feels suddenly impossible, so you don't, and Steve doesn’t make you. He licks his lips.

“Y’didn’t lock the door,” he mumbles, but your brain jumbles as his hand smooths over your ribs.

“Hmm?” You can’t be bothered with words, feeling more intoxicated by his touch than the three drinks in your system.

Steve rubs a small circle over your side. “The bathroom door,” he says softly, “it stayed on vacant the whole time.”

Oh, yeah. It had. Your mouth pops open, and then you shoot him a wry grin.

“Whoops.”

Steve’s responding head shake is exasperated but fond.

“You trust me too much,” he sighs.

It’s not a joke. A string of insecurity holds the sentence together, and you know what it is. It’s easy to see that he knows, too. Moving closer, committing to the embrace you’ve found yourself in, you pin Steve with a sincere stare.

“Do I?” It’s excessively rhetorical, stilling any rebuttal he has. Steve purses his lips together, and then glances at yours. You toe up ever so slightly, in anticipation. Both of Steve’s hands are on you now, though they’re holding your arms, keeping you at bay.

“We can’t,” Steve whispers, glancing at the stairwell, and you realize the bar is still upstairs with all of your friends. They’d probably come looking soon, vying for another round, another dance. You look to the stairwell too, and then to the other side of the hall, and back to Steve.

“Yet here we are.” The murmur is sultry, luring Steve closer, tempting his hand to wind into the soft hair at the nape of your neck.

“Here we are,” Steve repeats, and then your lips are abruptly too occupied by his to respond.

Steve’s hand that’s not gripping your neck winds over your shoulders, keeping you close. His nose crushes to your cheek as he drags his mouth over yours again and again.

A part of you—the same part that’s observing how good of a kisser he is—can’t believe you’re mouth to mouth with the Steve Harrington from high school. The other half, probably the truer half, knows it’s been a long time coming. Years of patching up and skirting around each other, protecting each other because you had to, and now taking care of each other because you wanted to. Because no one else would.

When you separate, you’re both breathless and effervescent. Steve is staring at you like you hung the moon.

“You’re so beautiful,” he coos, his thumb caressing the rosy apple of your cheek. Steve has a way of marrying sincerity and charm, and it needles at your heart ruthlessly.

You beam and kiss him again as a thank you.

“Think you might be glowing,” he continues, speaking right into your mouth. His teeth clack against yours as the kiss grows too smiley for its own good.

“You look pretty, too,” you goad, tracing his lips. “Cherry’s a good look on you.”

Steve pinches his brow and then notices your smeared lipstick.

“Aw, come on.”

You laugh and help him wipe it off, but when you return to the bar later, Argyle still complements Steve’s beautiful makeup.

+

thank you for reading ! my requests are open :)

masterlist

[roseglazedlens]

⦑ THE FUCKING DEAD ⦒ 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥’𝐬 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ➠ series masterlist | ⏪prologue | 🔃boy’s route | ⏩resolution

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓┇𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑┇𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐅𝐈𝐂┇𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 JILL VALENTINE X AFAB GN! READER ADA WONG X AFAB GN! READER synopsis: You split ways with Leon and Carlos, choosing to accompany Jill and Ada to Glenn Arias' office. One of you is already infected... content: 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, dubcon, threesome, zombie fucking, oral (reader & f! receiving), toys (vibrator + strap-on in one hole), squirting, fisting, knifeplay, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, latex kink, face sitting, cervix penetration, tonguefuck, hand & finger kink, nipple play, mating press (kinda), choking, body marking, body horror, slight objectification, body fluids, and pet names (kitty, darling). a/n: am gay thanks for cumming to my ted talk « 6 k words | general masterlist | ao3 | reblogs appreciated! »

The five of you parted ways—for better or worse. Is there a choice for you anyway? This is unanimous from everyone. So, you decide to follow the most logical choice: complete the mission as you are instructed, instead of seeking distractions with time you can’t afford to lose.

Leon and Carlos bid the three of you farewell, venturing underground to locate the source of a gas that may or may not be a distraction or an ambush. You, Jill, and Ada will continue upstairs to infiltrate Glenn Arias’ personal office, retrieving the concentrated sample with utmost priority, and regroup with the rest before Arias has a chance to discover his merchandise has gone missing.

The plan is perfect, what’s there to be worried about?

“Our intel says Arias’ office should be on the top floor. The coordinates are on your watch. Proceed with caution, everyone.” Rebecca calls out into your earpiece. Twisting your elbow, you glimpse at your watch. It blinks with your location in green, and destination in red, two floors above you.

“Copy.” You and Jill acknowledge Rebecca, but Ada ignores, simply hiking forward with her pistol leading the way.

“She must be fun at parties.” Jill snorts, following behind her.

This is the first time Jill talks after splitting up with the boys. And even then, she only ever converses with you, and never to Ada. They have almost nothing in common between them, besides their stubborn attitude that only butts at each other’s heads. If you aren’t around, there will only be an air of dead silence between the duo.

But these two are your friends, and you like them both for different reasons.

You recall a past memory between you. “She’s not usually like this outside of missions. We went to a bar one time, and Ada got me free drinks all night. Poor suckers, she swindled them all.”

“Just the two of you?”

“No, it was an afterparty. Rebecca was there. I think you had to stay back for work that day. Why?”

Your eyes meet Jill in confusion, and they quickly dart away. Jill clears her throat to speak again. “So you and Ada are close, huh?”

“I think so,” Jill’s face hints a bit of disappointment, but she tries to force her lips to upturn into a nonchalant smile. You don’t notice this and continue talking: “But not exactly. She saved me a few times, so I’m grateful for her. But I wouldn’t call us friends.”

“And that’s all?”

You wonder where all of this is coming from. Didn’t take her for the kind who enjoys bars and loud spaces anyway. Spending time with Jill is usually just the two of you watching TV, laughing at the over-the-top reality drama from the comfort of the couch, cuddling up right next to each other like a couple of platonic best friends. Before you can speak, you feel a presence in front of you, standing in your way. You pause quickly at the last minute, almost colliding into the figure. Ada. She only looks at Jill when she’s talking.

“You two lovebirds done? Stay alert.” Ada deadpans with no intention of being friendly and warming. “Don’t hold me down.”

“Take care of your shit and I’ll take care of mine.” There’s bitterness in Jill’s voice, and Ada ignores her because your watch is beeping. The green and red dots overlap each other. You’re here.

You put your game face on. You land yourself on the other side of the wooden door to Arias’ office, while Jill and Ada have their backs against the wall closest to the door knob. Ada signals, counting down from three, and then finally kicks down the door. The three of you rush in, guns aimed forward in order to take down any security patrolling the perimeters.

“Huh?” You raise an eyebrow. You lower your gun when realisation sets in that you are indeed in an empty room.

You recognise this dark wood flooring. It adorns proudly, and even more repetitively, throughout the mansion. This room is no different. The desk, cabinetry and shelves are crafted with the same sinister timber that weighs down Arias’ office. Rows of portraits from Arias’ ancestors stare down at you with hollow beady eyes. A tall window, slightly ajar, to let in the cold nocturne wind. No mould.

This room had been cared for—dusted, cleaned, and prepared. Papers spread across the table, fresh ink, even the nameplate is polished into a shimmer. Arias frequents here, either for work—or for other sorts of shady businesses.

Ada immediately gets to work, and she finds a painting with a secret hinge to the side. It opens into a safe with two rotary dials. The sample is so close now, so close to your reach.

“I’ll check for any other clues that may help us.” Jill declares, and she’s flipping through papers on the desk for any information she can send to Rebecca.

But your eyes are still fixed upon Ada with her back facing you. Not leaving her even for just a second. Ada might have saved you a few times, but the amount of times she betrayed you is far greater. A memory sticks out from a conversation in the saferoom when Leon pulls you aside:

“Be careful. Something is very wrong about this place. I don’t know what it is yet…” His words hold weight and sincerity as he speaks. “And about Ada… I don’t trust her. You shouldn’t too. Don’t make the same mistake as I did.” Then Leon loosens the grasp on your arm, and reluctantly lets go…

You refocus, keeping your eyes peeled on Ada, before noticing how beautiful her hands are. How they pinch the dial with ease and precision, almost gliding as she hears the very faint click inside the clockwork of the safe. Her nails are short, painted dearly with scarlet red polish, palms so silky that they almost glisten lightly under the moonlight. You didn’t know the hands of a mercenary can be so pretty, unlike yours, calloused and scabs healed over.

“Are you done watching me?” Ada is still listening to the safe, but she knows you’re looking.

“Huh? I wasn’t—” Your cheeks redden from being caught.

“You think I’m as dense as that rookie? I see you guys talking. Did Leon tell you to watch over me?” Oh. She must be talking about Leon’s warnings in the safe room.

“It… wasn’t about you.” You hesitate and fiddle with your thumb. You are not a great liar, not by far.

“Just tell me.”

Ada turns around to look at you now, telling of how much she knows you. And it’s definitely well enough to see through your lies like translucent paper. Your words tumble under pressure: “He’s just concerned. Told me to keep an eye out.”

Ada scoffs; she’s turning the dial a bit more aggressively this time. “Of course he did. Predictable. The rookie thinks I’m out to get him every single time.” There’s another sigh of exhaustion.

“Well, isn’t that what you did?”

“That’s besides the point. It’s his fault for getting in my way.” Ada clears her throat. “Rest assured, I’ve been compensated well for this job, so you’re safe.”

“For now. I’m not taking my eyes off you.”

“Didn’t take you for the kind to let others tell you what to do.”

You clamp your lips shut. She’s right, and you know it. Your brain racks within itself for a comeback to defend your integrity, and realising instead: Why are you trying so hard to prove yourself to Ada?

Ada is challenging you for sure. Or entertained by you. You can’t tell the difference with her teasing grin that could be either, or both. Are your eyes fooling you, or does Ada seem more... relaxed? Her demeanour is drastically different from when you were in the saferoom, or when you were speaking to Jill. If you didn't know better, you swear Ada actually enjoys your company, maybe even a little bit more than friends.

The safe beeps, signal flashes green, and the hinge loosens to an open. The two of you peek inside. There’s a gold bar. A stack of paper (letters?) bound by a delicate string. But beyond that, nothing.

You hear rustling in the background. Papers falling to the floor. You turn around to see Jill frozen.

“We got the safe open. Did you find anything?”

Jill’s eyes are far off, fixed upon a particular spot. You look towards the direction of her glance, and beyond the window, it overlooks the mansion’s luxurious home garden, overgrown with weeds and wilt. Behind that, a bench and what appears to be either a figure or the trick of a light. It’s too dark to tell.

“Jill.” Ada repeats, slightly raised eyebrows indicating suspicion. Jill returns from her far off location, and sees the two of you in front of her.

“You okay?” You ask, wanting to put your hand on her shoulder. She shrugs you off.

“I’m fine.” Jill’s fist is holding some paper, and she scrunches it to hide it in her back pocket. “Nothing useful. Just old accounts… and stuff. You know.” Ada is watching. Jill changes the topic fast.

“But look what I've found in the drawers.” Jill removes a box from inside the drawer and opens it. It contains a bunch of oddly shaped devices, attached by a belt or some sort.

“Are those what I think they are...?” You question, not quite sure what to make of it just yet.

“In every colour too.” Ada says. “Seems like a 'hobby' of Arias'.”

“Maybe Arias had been using this toy in this room.” Jill snickers, pulling one of them out by the belt, and the girth of the black shaft is thick and erected.

“Jill, stop playing with it.” Your face looks visually disturbed. “Oh my god, my pure and innocent mind...”

“Don't tell me you've never used one of these before?” Ada is grinning, as if you just asked a silly question.

“And you have?”

“Who hasn't?” Jill laughs too. Meanwhile, you are still standing, a look of confusion in your eyes. They look at you, and look between themselves, a synchronous 'oh' left their mouths at the same time. You are still confused.

“Don't worry about it. So what do you guys got there?”

You pick up the stack, and read aloud the first sheet that is addressed to someone.

Dear Sarah, The world had been too cruel to us, separating us from each other far too suddenly, far too soon. Our lives were only just beginning, and fate had to take you away from me. We should’ve had so much more time. And we will. Don’t worry, Sarah, all of this is only temporary. I took your wedding dress to the dry cleaners and safekept it for your return. I still remember how beautiful you looked in that dress walking down the aisle. Yours forever, Glenn

You bring the sheet back to read the next letter.

Dear Sarah, My research was successful. I did it, Sarah, I DID IT!! I can finally bring you home, my love. Didn’t we always said we wanted a child? You told me underneath the moonlight you want to name our daughter Renee. And now, we can finally have them. We can finally be together. Things are in order to make this happen. Me, you, and Renee, for eternity. I’m so excited I’ve painted Renee’s nursery in your favourite colour, green. So much work to do, I’ll write to you again soon, Sarah. You won’t have to wait any longer. Yours forever, Glenn

“Is this Arias’ wife? What do you mean ‘bringing her back’?” Your whole body shudders at the thought.

“She’s dead. One of the many innocents that died in the wedding.” Jill almost punches the wall. “It should’ve been him.”

“He’s trying to revive her? …And have children with the dead?”

“What kind of fucked up shit is he planning?” Jill is shocked, grossed, disgusted all at once on her face.

Meanwhile, Ada, calm and unreactive as ever, is rummaging through the safe again. “No sign of the sample—” Ada confirms, and she withdraws her hand holding a gold bar to transfer it into her gear’s pocket. “—another dead end.”

“Did you just steal something?” Jill is in disbelief.

“Mind your business.” Ada shoots back a glare at her.

“There’s something really fucked up going on in this mansion, and this is how you act? Have some sympathy for the dead, would ya?”

“It’s been dead for a while. Doesn’t matter what we do or what we say, they can’t hear it. All we can do is focus on the present.”

“Why you—” Jill stops midway, like she accidentally swallowed back her words down the wrong hole. Her head is throbbing, heart racing, body attacking her from all sides within. Her throat is closing up, and for a second, Jill can’t breathe. She falls; collapsing onto the table with a loud thump, barely supporting herself with her elbow. Jill coughs; there’s blood.

“Jill! Are you okay?” You cry out, running to her aid, your arm rounding across Jill’s shoulders. It feels cold. Dry. Like you’re touching the furless coat of a dead animal with no warmth left in them.

“I… nnh, I’m fine.” Her voice is straining, but there’s some breathing at least.

“Don’t be stubborn. The colour on your face is gone.” You dip your hand onto Jill’s forehead. The cold sensation fades, and now it’s warm to the touch again, burning like a fever. You question yourself whether the coldness before was an illusion. Bringing your arms around her, you reach to your earpiece. “I’m calling Rebecca.”

“No. Don’t.” She coughs even harder with her weight leaning against you; she’s turning frailer and frailer by the minute. “I’ll be fine. We need to s-stop Arias.”

That is when you hear a click, cold metallic surface pressing against the fabric of Jill’s back. The safety’s off.

“Ada?” Your voice escapes like a pleading squeal, a forced laugh through hopeful desperation that it’s all a prank, that Ada isn’t going to hurt and betray you, just like all the other times. “…What’s up with you?”

“Jill. Get off. Now.” Ada raises her volume to a stern demand, and this time, you know she’s definitely not joking. Jill ought to do as she says soon, or else both of you may catch the bullet with a press of Ada’s finger.

“Ada—” Your voice shrivels into a pitiful whisper. Betrayal again? After everything?

“Jill’s infected. Face it. Thought it was weird why you’re acting funny. The virus is in your body as we speak.” Ada points her gun at Jill.

“Wha—What’re you talking about?” Jill’s face turns white. She coughs once more, hard. There’s blood all over her hand and on the corner of her lips.

“Ada. We need to take her to the hospital now.”

“Does she look okay to you? I’m not going to save your ass again. So get out when I tell you to.” Ada’s finger is firm on the trigger. Determined.

Jill scoffs. “This again? So you’re working for Wesker? You’re trying to take us out one by one. It’s not gonna work.” With a weak grip, Jill grabs her pistol with her remaining energy to aim right back at Ada. Ada doesn’t shoot. She should’ve, but she can’t.

Ada’s guard is up again. “Believe what you want. If you’d like to die today, be my guest. I won’t hesitate to shoot.” She flicks her wrist, demanding you to move aside. “This is your last chance.”

“Ada, please listen! She wasn’t bit. We were together the entire time. You were there too, Ada! She can’t be infected. She can’t be—” You yell in distress, but your sentence trails off into a mumble.

“The gas. The gas has something to do with it.” Ada says.

“Won’t the two of us be sick too?” You say.

Ada’s eyes glare harshly against the two of you, but you can see her thinking, the cogwheels in her brain processing the facts, and her speculation wavers. There’s pity behind the cold blooded glint. Sympathy. Ada’s pistol lowers—

And that was the mistake that costs their lives. Jill turns, roundhouse kicking the pistol off Ada’s hand in her moment of vulnerability. The gun falls, crashing against the rug far from reach. Ada is already reacting, drawing her TMP out but Jill moves faster. Too steadfast. Too superhuman. She tackles Ada to the ground, hands steady against her neck.

Jill’s gaze is obscured by flames, something blinding and controlling from something within her veins and arteries. Despite looking directly at Ada, she can’t see, nor can she distinguish friend or foe. Her hand tightens around Ada’s windpipe, leaving her grasping for air.

You pull up your rifle in a panic frenzy, unloading your round onto Jill. But she does not flinch, does not even look your way. There’s a dent in her skin where your shots land, but there’s no blood. “Goddamit, what the fuck, Jill! What is wrong with you?”

But Jill can’t hear you. Only the crackle of flame and roar of wildfire burning and reverberating through her head. Echoing twice and thrice over. Ada is grunting soundless moans, still attempting at escape with how she continues to fumble for the TMP on her waist belt. Then, Jill steps on Ada’s hand with sheer force and unnatural strength, crushing the smooth palm with the sole of her feet, twisting it until all the delicate bones become unrecoverable. And all hope was lost again.

Jill sinks her teeth into Ada’s neck, not with much mercy either. There is a sound of flesh torn, a blood crying scream to taint the air. The blood velvet rug paints a deeper red and Jill releases. Ada flops to the floor, paralysed, but not deadly enough for a fatality. Her beautiful skin, once full of vigour and charm, stained red with her own blood, the veins around turning deeper purple thriving like tree roots across the earth.

You look at Jill—and she’s smiling. It’s not the slight curve of her lips you’re used to when you tell her that her haircut is nice. Or the reluctant embarrassed grin she has when you thank her for standing up for you. This was something else.

This was something from hell.

She’s no longer the Jill you know. ‘Jill’ turns around to meet you in the eye. You back away, rifle aiming forwards despite knowing it’s all fruitless. Your hands shudder from within, none of your shots will hit even if you try. But you had no choice. You have to try even if it’s fruitless. Then you aim at Jill directly on the head. It’s harder than it looks, killing your best friend, even if they are a zombie.

It misses and lands on her shoulder instead. There’s a notable grimace on Jill’s face as she flies to catch the bullet from within her shoulder. She flicks the bullet away and her grin spreads widely, and she chuckles a sinister giggle. “That hurts, you know…”

“Jill?” These BOWs aren’t supposed to speak. They should be monsters. This is your first time meeting one of these too, and you did not expect them to be one of your closest friends. You should be careful. If they can speak, do they have the intelligence to manipulate you too?

“What’s wrong, kitty?”

“Fuck you.” You grit your teeth. “I’m not turning into one of you.”

She merely laughs. “Admit it. You think this is hot.”

“Fuck off.” You have Jill’s eyes locked, other hand inching closer and closer to your back pocket, reaching for the radio. But it was no use. A hand—bloodied and broken—grabs you by your wrist, twisting it behind you forcefully. You wince. Ada is right behind you, her eyes looking into yours with the same blank stare Jill has. She’s turned. And so quick too?

“Our darling, can’t seem to stay put? I think it needs punishment.” Ada’s breath is blowing against your neck. You shiver.

“Oh… like what kind?” Jill’s eyebrows are raised and intrigued.

Jill answers the question herself by unsheathing her pocket knife. You swallow hard as she takes each purposeful step towards you, savouring in your fear. Your wrists struggle against Ada’s grip, which she responds by tightening it further that your bones are almost breaking from her touch.

“It’ll hurt more if you resist.” Jill drawls out her words, licking the surface of the knife. She brings her knife forward, laying the flat edge of the knife against your cheek, drawing a little blood at first, then a bit more droplets gather onto the knife. She slurps on it, licking the crimson nectar clean off her knife. “Just relax, kitty. It’s us. Jill and Ada. Your teammates.”

“We won’t hurt you, darling. You can trust us.”

For a moment, through the hazy blink of a spell, you see your friends. Ada, mysterious yet always saving you during trouble. Jill, indifferent yet is always the first to defend you. They’re absolutely right. These are your friends. They mean so much to you, and you’ve just realised that now. You’ll do anything for them.

You let your body relax, your eyes stare into Jill, then Ada, then back at Jill again. She caresses your cheeks in her palm, bringing your face closer to hers with lips that only want to close the distance, and you close your-

Wait! No. Stop this! This isn’t right!

-eyes, before your lips crash together in a series of tingles. Jill deepens the kiss, her tongue prying between the seams of your lips, meeting your own tongue in the middle. You still taste a bit of blood, but that doesn’t deter you from returning the kiss. Jill licks your lips once more before finally parting with a heaved gasp. You slowly open your eyes, before another pair of familiar lips comes colliding back on yours and you’re nudged to close them again. This is Ada’s lips, rounder, thicker, with an unexpected forwardness. She nibbles on your lips, demanding, making room between the gaps of your lips, and kiss you just as passionately as Jill did.

Between kisses, a button pops off. Then another. You help each other out of your fabrics. Earpieces removed, abandoned by the floor. Jill strips off Ada’s dress and bra, and you help Jill out of her skinny jeans. A paper scrunches up from her back pocket. It’s been torn by hand, scribbled a note on lined paper where the words are either smudged or peeled off. Only one word is still faintly visible.

[ WATER ]

What could it mean?

You spend no time to ponder with Jill pulling you back into the present. Your naked torsos flush against each other as the duo fight for another taste of your lips. They catch your breath, one after another, with no intention of letting you out of their sight. Jill brings her hand around you, her fingers are already sending-

I need to get out of here! I need to warn-

-a violent fizz through your body, and Ada helps you fall to your legs onto the velvet rug underneath you. All the whilst your lips are trapped in Jill’s, and so is your body.

“That’s it… Be our good little darling.” Ada slips right behind you, letting your relaxed body lean against her, then running a hand up your torso with the friction of her latex gloves, before settling against your neck in a firm grip.

“We’ll take care of you, kitty.” Jill whispers into your ear, and you can’t hear any malicious intent. Jill and Ada aren’t hurting you, some part of you is very sure about this.

Then you hear something. A faint sound in your mind, a warning, a scream from far away. It’s telling you to run, run so far and fast before it’s too late. “Nnh… I…” It rings in your ear like a constant drum, forcing you for a response. But why? You feel so good right now…

“Stay with us, darling.” Ada coos, moving downwards to kiss along the strip of your neck. She’s gentle, enchanting you in her lovingness. The voice grows fainter, like a distant chatter that fades into the background.

And their hands are all over you, exploring every curve your skin has to offer. The crook of your neck, the gentle folds between your belly, thighs filling out into their palms, plushness against plushness. With how both of their breasts lay against you, it reminds you of a marshmallow cloud, and you’re drifting away into it. Away from the mortal world where only the three of you remain.

Ada runs her hands down your body, her latex glove palming your cunt now, circling it fully and firmly. You feel everything move, your hips rutting to find more friction against your clit. And she retracts her hand, pressing down against your clit as if you hears your demands, holding you and your emotions hostage, before repeating all the motions again.

“Shh… We’ll take care of you, kitty.” Someone says this, you don’t know who. You are much too focused on the pleasure throbbing in your body to notice. Ada moves her head downwards to watch your cunt more closely, pleasant to see you already drenching, soon to succumb to the inflictions of her loving touches.

“Goodness, so wet for me, darling.” Ada rewards herself with a finger down the stripe of your cunt, scooping your juices with the latex and licking her finger clean. Ada is taking her time with you, pecking gentle kisses along the seam. A few times you feel the firm pad of her tongue on you, but she retracts it before you can truly react to it.

Jill is still kissing you; her hands are groping her own breasts to satisfy herself, while you lay limp under the command of the two. You moan back into the kiss, clearly aroused by Ada toying with your body underneath, and she grows increasingly jealous: “Having all the fun without me?” She abruptly parts your lips, and gently lowers your back onto the floor.

“Come on, kitty. Help me come too.” Jill pecks one final kiss on you, which you, too engrossed in the knot in your chest to struggle to even pucker your lips. She rounds her legs over your face, and your face is shaded with the shape of Jill’s cunt. Her arousal glistens in the darkness, seemingly twitch, maybe a bit vulnerable with how your eyes are fixed upon her aching parts.

“Put that tongue to good use, kitty.” Jill drops herself onto your face, fucking herself onto your nose. A moan escapes her lips, and yours too, your grunt muffled underneath the pressure, but she can still feel the vibrations through her cunt. She ruts against you, a signal for ‘more’, and you obey. You stick your tongue in, swirling and springing your tongue to feel Jill’s walls against the flat surface of your tongue.

Jill lifts herself temporarily, just enough for you to breathe and release the groaning mess that is trapped in the back of your throat. She slams herself back down onto you again. Your breath quickens, back arches in; you’re close. So fucking close. Ada isn’t stopping now, her lips are flushed against your cunt, extending her entire tongue inside of you to tonguefuck you until your heavy breathing is inside of Jill’s cunt.

“I.. nnh…fuck…” You cry, a tear gathering in your eye.

“Don’t be shy, kitty. Just let it all out.” Jill looks down at you, grinning, taunting. She drives her cunt deeper onto your face. And with her encouragement, you do. The sensation wells inside of you, stimulated on both end bringing your orgasm to escalate in speeds unimaginable. Your juices start to flow, without warning—you couldn’t control it even if you tried—and all your fluids spills directly onto Ada’s face, catching into her eyes.

“That’s it. Well done, kitty.” Jill praises, smoothing a hand over your hair.

Ada doesn’t wince from your juices in her eye, she doesn’t even feel the pain. Her irises are shifting red from her kind hazel brown. Her skin, paling, wherever she was applying pressure at you, those parts of her turns distinctly blue. And that’s when reality hits you: you don’t know them. But there’s no stopping now. It’s too late. At least you can make your death memorable—enjoyable—by getting fucked inside out.

Jill is feeling it too, her hips shaking, your tongue going into overtime eating her out, until she finally releases. She tries to lift herself off, but it was too late when Jill begins to squirt, her one finger guiding herself on her clit, drenching your face and some of your hair with her fluids. You wipe your face off with your hands, huffing and puffing. Whatever you two had, it was intense. Far more intense than any relationship you had with any other sex.

Ada lands right next to you on the rug. She’s reaching down to circle on her own clit and thrusting her fingers inside of her dripping mess at the same time. God, Ada looks so hot touching herself.

“Please. Ada. I want to taste you too.” You nudge Ada’s fingers out of herself, giving them a lick to clean those pretty, battered fingers off. Even damaged, her manicure is still perfect, and the skin still feels soft to the touch. You roll on top of Ada, exchanging places with Ada’s fingers to bottom her out.

Ada’s cunt is so smooth, cleaned and trimmed, just as put together as the rest of herself. Her hole is wide open, as if taunting you with how much she can take at one time. You hook her legs over your shoulder now, pressing them down closer to her body and reaching over to her swollen nipple to pull against it. When your fingers enter her, it’s like dipping your finger into melted butter. With one finger, it was loose. So you add one more finger, then another, until all four of your fingers are deep in her cunt.

“God, Ada.” You swallow back a heavy drool. “You’re all stretched out.”

“I have higher pain tolerance like this. That’s the best part about being a zombie.”

“Does that mean I can…” You thought four fingers was Ada’s limit, but after wiggling your hand around, you manage to slip the fifth finger inside. Ada lets out a delighted whine, swallowing your entire fist with a quick rut of her hips.

My god, Ada looks so beautiful like this. With how big she’s taking in, you swear that she’s more used to this than she’s letting on. But you don’t get to ponder long, because Jill is right behind you. She’s watching over you, grabbing your cheeks from behind and something is nudging between your thighs.

“I want to try something on you.” There is a belt around her, and a strap bouncing high and proud into the air. “Stick up your butt for me, kitty.”

The idea of getting fucked by Jill excites you very much. You perk them up, despite your eagerness, you don’t want to lose momentum with Ada in front of you, still squirming under your control. You expect your cunt to meet with Jill’s silicone tip, but instead she puts some kind of device inside of you. It vibrates in the lowest setting, only a tingle of sensation in your already aching and throbbing pussy.

“J-Jill?” You let out a low grunt, unsatisfied. The device is so small, you still feel empty even as it vibrates within you.

“Don’t worry, kitty. I’m just gonna write some thing on your body. It won’t hurt, I promise.” She picks up a knife, previously abandoned in the corner. She runs the sharp end of the knife along your ass cheeks, and you wince as Jill drags the knife down until it carves off a letter. ‘J’ on your left cheek, ‘A’ on your right cheek.

“Kitty looks amazing with our initials on it.” Blood is trailing along your butt. Jill lied. It hurts a lot. But the combination of pain on your skin and pleasure of the vibrator takes you to your wits end. Jill makes up for it by consoling the cuts, planting kisses and licking the blood off your cheeks. Then she grasps harshly onto the plush meat, and the pain is back again.

“Kitty…” She coos, fingering out some of your stickiness to lubricate the silicone. It lines up against you, ready for entry. You take in a deep breath, and Jill shoves all of her length in one go. Your body flinches, tongue stopping for a moment to recollect your composure as your internal walls fight to wrap both the vibrator and Jill’s strap at the same time, filling you up so fully.

“That’s it, kitty. Take in both me and the vibrator. Feel so good right now… So good for us.”

But she’s not stopping. Not intending to stop until you come over and over again, until you stain the rug with every bit of your juices. Moans ripple through the room. Each thrust heavy and welcoming to your pussy as you stretch wide to accommodate to this newfound size. You chase your euphoria, as it crash at you wave after wave of limitless pleasure. Jill tips you further into overstimulation, fucking the fluids of your orgasm back inside of you.

But you can’t speak, despite the desire to release your choked out breath, you are determined to make Ada come too. She’s close. You press her legs further down to flex her into a pretzel, her thighs touch her head, and your fist finds its easier to reach her cervix, abusing at her favourite spot over and over again until she’s bound to release her fluids onto your hand.

“You’re mine now…” Jill and Ada speaks almost simultaneously.

And the rest of the night was a blur. You aren’t sure how many times you came tonight, you only feel the aftermath of it. The inside of your walls are sore, penetrated repeatedly by tongue and silicone, and you find your consciousness fading… and fading… until you are gone completely.

A buzz. It rings in your ear like a fly in your sleep. Is this your alarm? No… Did you not leave for Arias’ mansion? How long ago was that? Why are you asleep? And where’s Jill and Ada?

You are alone. The portraits watching your naked body as you lie—criticising you? You hear the windows clacking against the hinges, night air whining inside and all over your bareness. But you don’t feel cold. Your body hasn’t felt anything in a while. Joints weakened everywhere and your lips feel like something dried over.

You hear the buzz again. This time much closer. There’s static. It’s saying something.

“Ji- Ad-”

You move your limbs, cumbersome from the soreness of your muscles, to reach to the sound underneath your clothes. An earpiece. You fumble it on.

“Jill! Ada! Are you guys there? Come on, why won’t this damn thing work?”

It’s Rebecca. You know this girl. From somewhere. It’s getting harder to think.

“Reb—” You try to talk, but it escapes like the low grumble of a zombie. You don’t have much time left.

“Finally! Thank god it’s you! Are you guys safe?”

“Water... It’s the water… The water’s infected…” You muster whatever bit of strength left to talk.

“Hello?? Shit. I can’t hear you… What did you say about the water?”

Your eyes feel heavy. It sinks without intention. All that remains is a fragile pulse at the hearth of your body. Not enough for you to move or think. Darkness envelops you, and there is silence once again in Arias’ office.

Then, a man steps into the room.

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. —yours truly, rose. kissing @scar-crossedlvrs and @obsolescent for beta reading this!!!! tags: @j3llyd0nut @ovaryacted @daydreamrot @madcap-riflette @access--granted @obsolescent @briermelli @secretiveauthor @ghosty-frog @navstuffs @slowcryinginthedark @rentaldarling @lesbntired @redvleanli @vinsiliors @whoisgami @gaylorvader @wxwieeee @eddsthemunson © roseglazedlens — please do not repost, plagiarise, or feed to ai.

[mirangel]

aspectabund.

pairing: sampo x afab!reader

genre: smut

cw: prostitution but not, sampo whimpers, sampo breaks into your house, fingering, usage of pussy and cunt, sampo has dick piercings, marking

word count: 2k

how much would sampo charge for one night? that’s a question you’ve always asked yourself, and one little mishap earns you the dream come true.

written by a minor, dni if uncomfortable

You can’t help but open your mouth sometimes, for the better or worse. Today seems to be both, when you’re talking with a friend of yours about the wanted criminal list in the newspaper, as always. You two have this fun game, where you try to guess their backstory just by their image alone, it’s just meant to be lighthearted really, just fun and games.

You find the most infamous one on the list, Sampo Koski, a household name for people you should avoid. But you were always a sucker for danger, and so you can’t help but comment, “He looks like he’s into some freaky shit.” Your friend leans in closer, tracing the smug grin he has on his face with their fingernail, and you continue, “I’d pay that man to fuck me senseless.”

They gasp, hitting your arm with mild surprise and playfulness. “You dog! We’re out in public! What if the Silvermane Guards overhear?” You shrug off the teasing remark, winking at them instead. “Let them hear for all I care, I got money, and I want a criminal’s dick. How much do you think he charges?” Your friend elbows you in the stomach with a shriek, unaware of the lurking shadow in the alleyway.

Emerald eyes pierce your form, a sly grin on his features. My, weren’t you interesting! The criminal is all too used to hearing demeaning comments about himself, but to hear those sweet words from someone he’s never met before? It brings a tear to his eye, well, almost, if he wasn’t so distracted by the way you look. This business trip can wait, he thinks. You look like you need a good ol’ friend to pay you a visit after all.

You can’t help but glance at the window every couple of minutes as you get ready for bed. There’s a sense of excitement building up in your veins, nervousness too, but why of all times does it have to appear now? There’s a quick shuffle from somewhere behind you as you bend down to reach for a fallen pen, and you quickly turn around, pen still in hand. Your gaze meets his almost immediately, a man leaning comfortably on your own bed, a smug expression on his face. “Nice ass.” He chuckles, flipping the azure fringe between his eyes.

You quickly stand back up straight covering your ass with your hands, but the damage has been dealt. “This afternoon, you said you’d pay to fuck me, hm?” Sampo tilts his head, but you can’t help but blink nervously at him, opening your mouth before closing it, and opening it once more to question, “How did you get in my house?” He shrugs, the sly smirk you saw on the newspaper returning again. “Don’t worry about that, how about we fuck and figure it out the price along the way? I’m sure we can satisfy each other, trust me on this.” His voice is smooth like silk, and he discards his coat, tossing it to the other side of your room as effortlessly as persuading others to give him extra money.

“Really? You’re… willing to fuck me for cash?” You’re bewildered, your jaw dropping as you can’t help but walk closer to Sampo, who stares back at you with a cat-like grin, slowly blinking as if he had all the time in the world. But the only thing he says is, “Sampo Koski never goes back on his word.” That’s a lie, you can recall at least ten accounts of him conning others in Belobog, but in this current state, do you really care? This is your once in a lifetime opportunity, and you’re damn well going to take it.

You pounce on him almost immediately, cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a passionate kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist, slotting his leg in between your knees, pushing you to kneel as he sits up. His returned kiss is teasing, egging you on to try to steal more from him, just like he has to several others. Sampo sneaks a calloused hand up your night shirt, ghosting your skin before cupping the back of your head, pulling away just an inch before whispering, “You really know how to make a man wanting, don’t ‘cha?”

But before you could speak, he kissed your lips once more, pushing you down on your mattress, taking the control you once had before. He pushes his tongue past your lips, exploring his newfound territory, looking for the treasure that lies within. He leaves you no room to fight back, pinning your hands above your head with a sly grin. “I’m a greedy man, you know?” Sampo tilts your head upward, exposing more of your neck. “I’ll be sure to indulge, you don’t mind, right?” He begins peppering kisses, humming when he hears the whines you make as a result. “So good for me, so needy.”

“Sampo!…” You sigh, gripping his hair with his hands when his own trails down your body, mapping out every little detail, every curve, and the texture. He grins when he feels your wetness from prodding at your panties, and he shifts them to the side, inserting his middle finger inside. He adores the way you moan so lovingly at the intrusion, “So pretty, can’t believe you wanna pay a man like me to fuck your tight pussy.”

He can’t help but admire how messy you are for him, even with just one finger inserted you’re already coming undone for him, and he smirks, watching as the slick you produce gets all over his hand, your thighs, and he just gets so hard looking at you. “Naughty, so naughty.” Sampo inserts his ring finger inside, and there’s an obscene squelch as he thrusts his fingers inside you, “Do you hear that? Your pretty pussy is making all that noise just for dear ol’ Sampo.” He quietly laughs, taking in how darling you look to him.

Your face contorted with bliss, sweat running down your features, and he especially notices the quiver of your lips as you moan, and he almost jumps when you jolt, but not without a loud moan. “My, so sensitive, huh?” Sampo teases, humming when he drags his fingers down your most sensitive parts inside you, and you shake like a leaf, whining. “Sampo… more please!” You plead, gripping his arm. “Patience, love. Gotta stretch you out, y’know? Wouldn’t wanna get hurt.”

Sampo lowers the hand used to pin your wrists above your head to unbuckle his belt, watching as you gulp nervously at the large bulge shown on his boxers once he drops his pants down to his ankles. “Nervous?” You can’t help but laugh awkwardly, nodding. “Don’t worry, you’ll fit.” His sheer confidence was so unbelievably attractive to you, and with that wink of his? Simply unbearable.

When he lowers his boxers to reveal his true glory, he’s well endowed, and the tip of his cock is a rose pink, with a frenum ladder right underneath the tip of his cock. He removes the fingers he had inserted into you, and you whine when you don’t feel so full anymore. But you weren’t disappointed for long, as he wraps his slick covered hand around his cock, pumping it in display. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle, leave it all to Sampo, alright?”

You salivate looking at him, a tinge of crimson on the tip of his ears and under his eyes, he lets out an airy laugh, “My my, you look as if you’re about to devour me.” You can’t help but stammer, struggling to come up with a response to his observations. “…So cute.” He mumbles, lifting your legs to his shoulders, tapping the tip of his cock against your clit, chuckling when he sees your body jolt at his ministrations.

“Hurry up and fuck me already!” You cried out, and Sampo truly can’t help but laugh when he sees your lips form into a pout, and he delicately places the pad of his thumb on your bottom lip, using the side of his index finger to tilt your chin upwards. He slides himself into your tight, yet welcoming cunt, letting you slowly adjust to him. The way his piercings drag across your walls is intoxicating, and you can’t help but plead, begging for more. “Fuck— You’re so tight…” Sampo groans, gripping the sheets besides your head until his knuckles turned white.

He pushed himself further, until both of your pelvises touched, and with that, you both couldn’t help but let out a whine, clinging to each other as if you two were lovers. Sampo slowly begins thrusting, as if he was refraining himself from being rougher with you. He kisses your collarbone, leaving you with far too many love bites for your liking, but you can’t complain, not when the drag of his heavy cock along your insides makes your mind melt, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you find the words to express your desire.

“Sampo…. please fuck me harder…” It comes out barely a whisper, but despite that, he nibbles on your earlobe, speeding his movements, adding more force to his thrusts, hitting deeper inside of you, until he can make you scream his name. He hits your most sensitive spot inside you, and you clench around him, and Sampo throws his head back, whimpering. “D-Don’t do that… so suddenly.” He narrows his eyes, but his signature smirk returns shortly after, thrusting with a desperate need to bring you both to you overstimulation, fucking you as if his life depended on it.

The heavy weight of his balls smacking firm against your ass, the stench of sex and sweat in the air deluding you, making it appear as if it was a dream. His breathtaking kisses drive you insane, and the way he stuffs your pussy full, you couldn’t have wanted anything more. “You don’t mind if I do a little magic on you?” Sampo’s honeyed voice by your ear whispered, a gentle, yet confident chuckle followed shortly. You nod, desperate to reach your orgasm. With that, Sampo flips you onto your stomach, pressing your legs together as he uses his weight to keep you down, letting you bite and drool over your own pillow.

And heavens above, it felt so fucking good. You don’t think you’ve ever come faster than you did with Sampo, forced to mold to his whims as if you were the one being paid to have sex. He tilts your head back by inserting his middle and ring finger into your mouth, watching your eyes roll behind your head as he continues to pound you, watching you taste yourself on his fingers. “So naughty of you!” He sneers, but he then continues, “Ah… I might cum soon if you keep this up… you’re so sexy.” Sampo whispers the last statement, using his free hand to lace between your own hand from behind.

You could barely think with how good it felt as you convulsed around him, yet remained still under his body weight, and Sampo simply chuckles, nibbling and tugging at your earlobe, leaving more hickies and small bruises on your neck like a touch-starved man, all the while using your body as if it was a toy, and you loved every moment of it. “Fuck— Sampo! It feels so good please please please! Please more!”

Sampo buries his head into your neck, his thrusts becoming more erratic, his breathy whimpers so loud and clear echoing in your head. But he then detaches himself from your body with great reluctance, pulling himself away from your needy cunt, thick strands of his spent decorating your lower back. You can’t see it, but to Sampo, it’s the greatest sight he could lay his eyes on, besides credits of course. “My…” He mutters, spreading his cum over your back with his hand. “You look beautiful like this.”

“…How much do I owe you?” You mumble, barely finding the energy to turn your head to even face him, to look him in the eyes. Perhaps that’s better, because he has a shit eating grin on his face right now, watching his cum spill down your sides as he continues to spread it around. “Well… that was fun for me too. My only payment is that you keep this relationship going with me.”

You nodded, and Sampo lays down next to you, petting your head with the same grin he always sports.

Yeah, keeping this up would be fun for the both of you.

[multifanderwrites]

Clay Beresford x Autistic!Reader (Well… Technically, Writer) Head Canons (With NSFW)

[I think you all know this was inevitable. I warned y’all on my account that I would fall for Clay Beresford hard. 🥲 Probably why this one is so fucking long]

You meet him around a month after his incredibly traumatic heart transplant. Obviously, he and Samantha got a divorce.

For a while, Clay thought he could never find love again after giving everything he had to someone who didn’t really care for him.

That is, until he met you. It’s at the hospital, where you sometimes volunteer to take care of the younger patients.

You accidentally bump into Clay, who’s still working through his trust issues with the staff at the hospital.

That day, he’s a little irritable, but when he notices that you genuinely want to apologize for bumping into him… he offers you a light smile and introduces himself.

You’re very shy, not too used to long conversations or maintaining eye contact with strangers for such long periods of time… but you feel like you’re staring into the eyes of someone who’s been through a difficult situation in the recent past.

And, as fate would have it, so have you. In much less awful circumstances, but still traumatic.

It was a toxic friendship, and it ended only after you finally got away from them around that September. Like Clay did for Samantha, you gave this friend everything but you only got about half the sincerity and care in return.

You and Clay encounter each other the next day, and this time the conversation ends up being longer than the first. You two have a chat about your new favorite tv show- or, if you prefer, the whole country’s favorite new tv show- The Office! [leave me alone. I’m a sucker for it. I’m almost sure every adult in the United States was watching this show during its initial run. My parents were! I don’t know what to tell you]

The two of you start out as friends, but after a couple of weeks, you get closer to Clay. You let down your walls even more, and he lets down his.

Because of your internalized ableism, you fear that Clay will never look at you the same way if you tell him that you’re on the autism spectrum.

But he surprises you when you tell him that you are. He just says, “I’m glad you told me,” before he shows you the scar from his heart transplant surgery.

You listen to him describe his experience- you immediately despise his ex wife, Samantha, because not only are you jealous of her, but you’re also very angry that she put Clay through a year of lies. After he finishes the story, he cries. You hold him, and you cry too because of the fact that it went horribly wrong, when it really shouldn’t have!

But what’s done is done. And Clay is alive. But the pain still remains. Not just the physical pain, he has meds for that. There’s no medicine to fix a broken heart.

But when he’s with you… he feels so safe. And you feel safe with him too. But still, you have fears about him turning around and telling you that he doesn’t like you.

And yet, you two can’t seem to be apart for one day without spending time together. Whether it’s for an Office watch party, or just to take a walk around New York.

You have a dog named Zip. [Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen! I will never move on. That dog was everything to me] He’s a golden retriever, and he’s your best friend. Along with your roommate, but Zip is the best dog in the world. [hey, like in real life! 😩 I miss my dog!] Clay loves him, even if he sheds a lot, and has fish breath.

But that dog loves Clay right back.

If you’re being completely honest, that toxic friend was kind of indifferent to Zip. But not Clay. Clay always has a new dog toy to give to Zip.

“You’re going to spoil him!”, you say when he comes to your apartment to watch the premiere of The Office Season Four.

“That’s the plan,” Clay replies nonchalantly. “And besides, it was only five bucks.”

You’ve known Clay is rich. That’s not what bothers you. What bothers you is that he seems to spend so much money on dog toys! During one of the commercial breaks in the show, you ask him, “Why do you always buy dog toys for my dog? I’ve never asked that of you.”

He shrugs. “Well, I love Zip, and I love his owner too,” he says. Before you can even react, Clay takes your hand and kisses it softly. “You heard me. I love you.”

Tears prickle your eyes. You feel your cheeks heating up. You want to tell him that you feel exactly the same way… but no words come from your mouth. All the insecurities you’ve ever felt are coming back, but you don’t want them back.

Clay can tell when something is wrong and when you feel awful. Especially if you’re trying really hard to hide your tears. “Y/N, is everything okay?”, he asks softly.

“Yeah.”

“No,” he says, “there’s something wrong. You know you can talk to me.”

���I- I don’t know how to say it… other than I love you too.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Zip comes over, so you start petting him. “I just… I don’t know how you could ever actually love me.”

Clay can’t help but scoff. “You’re kidding, right?” The look on your face tells him that no, you are a hundred percent serious. That breaks his still very new heart.

“Well, first off, you’re very beautiful,” he says as he cups one of your cheeks, “and secondly, you’re funny. And third… I feel like I could trust you with my life. And it’s still not easy for me to do that right now, but I really do trust you.” He takes a deep breath, pets Zip too. “Do you trust me, Y/N?”, he asks in that soft voice that gives you butterflies in your stomach.

Without hesitation, you nod. “Yes.” Zip is at your feet now. You look down and see that he’s got his head on Clay’s feet. “I think Zip loves you too.”

He smiles widely as he asks, “Is that true, buddy?” The dog sighs in response. Clay laughs. “Good boy.”

The commercial break ends. That point in The Office comes up: https://youtu.be/JF5HCUmINE4?si=YlzcY-2yZABy_i-n

You guys have to rewind it three times because you’re laughing so hard!

By the time the “Fun Run” scene happens, Clay has your head in his lap as he runs his fingers through your hair. You’re both completely in love with each other, but not quite sure how to define your relationship now.

But as soon as the show is finished, Clay gives you an easy option: be his girlfriend. And you don’t deny him that very first kiss. It’s your first kiss. And you’re very happy that it’s Clay.

Your first date is actually in Central Park’s dog park. And yes, Zip comes along. But neither of you would have it any other way because you both love that dog so much. And Clay loves you so much. And you love him so much.

Your first proper date is at a fancy restaurant, and Clay has used his wealth to his advantage, making sure that the venue is sensory friendly and that you can eat as you please without worrying about encountering something that might make you uncomfortable.

Your second date ends at his old childhood home, which he inherited from his mother. She gave her heart to him so he could live, and you wish you could have met her because she sounded like an amazing mother.

But it’s here that Clay gives you his all, and where you give yourself up to him. It’s a bit scary at first, but Clay is as patient as can be. He’s gentle, and he very much understands how vulnerable this moment is for you.

But he surprises you once again because he praises your body, flaws and all. He doesn’t just praise you with words. No, he praises you with his actions. The one that takes your breath away is the act of kissing you where you two will eventually join your bodies together. It’s a long act, one that Clay draws out for at least an hour before he makes you come… quite hard.

He’s constantly glancing up at you while he eats you out, constantly speaking to you and taking care of you as he gently squeezes your thighs. “You’re so pretty.” You whine in response. “You are so pretty, sweetheart.” You whimper and shake your head, but before you can even protest… he gives you even more affectionate and passionate affirmations. You can’t form words to express your feelings of self doubt because you’re just feeling so, so good… and it’s all because of Clay Beresford’s mouth.

By the time you’ve come down from that orgasm, you speak. And the words make your boyfriend sad. “I’m not pretty.”

He’s just finished washing his mouth [because safe sex] when you tell him this.

Clay’s heart nearly stops. If it had been the one he was born with, he’s sure he’d have dropped dead as a result of hearing you say such a thing about yourself. But thank goodness he has his mother’s incredibly strong heart. It doesn’t hurt any less, of course, because the fact remains: you don’t think you’re pretty.

“Y/N, you are very beautiful,” he says as he walks over to you and takes your face in his hands. “You hear me?” You can’t help but take your eyes away from his because you feel so overwhelmed by the sincerity of his words. “Come on, baby. Look at me.” When you do, he kisses your forehead and tells you, “I know you’re struggling right now, but I want to help you. So, just for tonight, I want you to pretend that you know you’re the most beautiful woman alive. And I know it’s not gonna be easy, but I believe in you. And I’m gonna make sure you feel so good, okay?”

You find yourself nodding, even though a part of you is still in doubt about what he’s saying. Not the feeling good part, obviously. He already proved himself to be very, very skilled at making you feel good. It’s you who’s worried that you won’t make him feel good. “Clay?”

“What, my love?”, he asks softly.

You’re terrified to ask it, but you do it anyway. “What if you don’t like fucking me?”

He frowns and shakes his head, tells you, “I’m not fucking you, I’m making love to you, sweetheart.”

“But what if you don’t like it?”

Clay is already so protective of you- to be fair, he was protective of you when he first heard about that terribly toxic friend- and he doesn’t like that you’re feeling so insecure right now. “Come here, Y/N,” he whispers softly as he pulls you into a very tight hug. “I love you so much. You’re so important to me. And I’m never leaving. I think I fell for you when we first bumped into each other, you know? I know it’s only been a couple of months, but… I feel like I could trust you more than anything right now.” He pulls back, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He lingers close to your lips, his eyes closing as he adds, “Which is why I’m taking this step with you right now. And you can back out at any time, Y/N. Or if you need to take a break, that’s okay too. Just remember that I love you, and that I will always love you.”

It’s that kind of sentiment that makes you wonder if Clay is a real human being… and that reminds you of how lucky you are. You trust him with everything, and you are sure that he’s going to make your first time wonderful for you. You can’t help bursting into tears because of how emotionally overwhelming this revelation is, and he holds you in his arms while you cry.

When you’re calm enough, the passionate but gentle love making starts. Clay whispers sweet nothings in your ear, kissing your skin as he moves his hips back and forth between your legs. You’re shy, quiet… but you’re certainly enjoying yourself and feeling very loved by this man. This beautiful man, who has gone through terrible trauma, is trusting you to never judge him or abandon him. And you are doing the same for him. This man adores you, a woman on the autism spectrum with a strong love for The Office. He loves you, and your dog. He loves you, flaws and all. And you love him right back.

After you’ve both been physically and emotionally satisfied, you clean up from the sexual encounter before Clay takes you back to your place. He ends up staying with you the entire night because he loves after sex cuddles. They’re absolutely a must in a relationship, and that’s another sign that you’re so lucky. This man adores spending every single second with you.

Your morning routine starts early since you have to feed Zip, then take him out to the bathroom, then get ready for the day. The night after your incredible date with Clay, this routine starts as usual. But before you can do step three, you find Clay in the kitchen. Of course he made breakfast for you. Classic perfect boyfriend move. But it’s honest, and it’s a weekend.

You actually have the apartment to yourself, and Clay stays with you and Zip. And there’s a new episode of The Office. It’s just so perfect. It’s just you, your dog and your boyfriend. A tiny little family.

And you end up moving to his place after the seventh date. THE SEVENTH DATE!

You celebrate with pizza, watching the newest of The Office… and it might just be the best episode yet. https://youtu.be/OdJvARPclnU?si=Qi2Lw6sNg1BpPTqA

After taking care of Zip for the night, the celebration continues. You and Clay dance together in his living room, then immediately begin to make out on the couch. Clay loves giving you hickeys. He’s really good at putting them in places where not many people can see them. But tonight, he gives you a hickey that he hopes you’ll never stop looking at in the mirror.

The make out is quickly followed by a long night of love making. Clay’s a bit feral tonight, but he’s just as gentle as usual. Still, he’s practically starving for you and your body. He loves going down on you, usually does that before the actual penetrative act happens. Tonight, he takes it really seriously because of how excited he is to spend the night with you.

You end up making love until midnight. It’s so much more intimate than the last few times you guys made love. And, no surprise to you, it’s far more emotional. Perhaps it’s because of the way Clay holds you, and the way he talks to you. But you just feel so good and safe and loved by him, especially when he whispers in your ear, “Who’s my special girl?”

Usually, when you hear that word, you cringe. But when Clay says it… it makes your heart get all warm and fuzzy. The way he says it doesn’t make you feel like a burden. “Me,” you say softly.

“Yes. That’s right. You,” he says in that soft, dark tone. “And don’t ever forget it, sweetheart,” he tells you as he begins to pick up the pace of his thrusts. You hold onto him tightly as you feel your body getting more tense, your mind getting hazier by the second because of how good he’s making you feel. He can feel you getting tighter around him now, and he starts to encourage you to let go. “That’s right. Come on, baby. Come for me. I wanna feel you coming. I can feel you. You’re so close. Come on, Y/N-“

You both have an orgasm at the exact same time. It’s never happened before… but it excites you both, and it definitely further proves your mutual love for each other.

If you ever get overstimulated by the loud sounds of the Big Apple, Clay is understanding. He helps you get through the rough period, making sure you can navigate through the chaos. Sometimes, he overdoes it but he’s learning.

[I definitely need to make a part two. But what do you think? Was it… okay? I also intend to make an SFW version because yeah]

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I found your post about inbox empty and no camp requests literally five minutes after opening the tumblr post episode 8. Were you summoned? Was I? Who cares.

I haven’t had the time to properly comment on your 2buck sexy prompt fill but please do know I will BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN LIVING RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. So fucking well written (pace, words, characterizations, aaaaah). I ramble, sorry.

Back to the point at hand, PROMPT(s) for my two favorite idiots (Buck/Bucky):

- post war bliss, let’s heal the boys a bit and give them their happiness

- set whenever, possessive Gale (boy is 100% unhinged, called it day 1 when Greenland tower control told him to circle back and he just floored it like a goddamn pro)

- magpie behavior John, he just collects stuff for Gale and brings it to him, it’s a character trait (bikes, shit needed to make a crystal radio, boy just does)

- observer Gale, he just loves the physicality John moves in when he’s in Major mode and when he gets the rare chance to look without being seen or having to worry what is seen on his face he just looks and lets himself feel it

- talismans, I love the idea of both of them having something that means ‘I am of my beloved and my beloved is of mine’

- literally whatever other sexy scenario you can concoct, your whiskey one has rewired a couple of circuits in my brain

- soulmarks, on the basis that I’m a sucker for them

Bonus for good ole Benny De Marco as Gale’s keeper when John isn’t around while at the same time John’s handler when Gale’s not there (ngl this is because of the way Buck yells De Marco’s name in the pilot, my boys are MATES™️).

I am afraid I single-handedly murdered your inbox, please forgive me.

Thank you in advance and cheers ✨❤️

(These are all amazing, and I would like to encourage anyone who is reading this and gets an idea from one of these to write you one of the ones I don't [or write the one I did but as your own thing!])

In the barracks, each bed comes with a side table. It has a drawer and a lamp. Most of the boys keep a photo of a loved one on the top, a skin mag in the drawer, and whatever they carry in their pockets each day next to the photo.

Buck's is different because he keeps whatever he carries in his pockets in the drawer, and on the table itself is a collection of random objects that look like he's collecting odds and ends with no real sense. Amongst the clutter are the following things:

A skeleton key with a filigree 'G' carved into the head.

A rock that shines when the sunlight hits it during the day.

A broken bracelet made of blue stones.

A tiny piece of foil shaped into an oak leaf cluster.

The first time a replacement asks about it--because Major Cleven doesn't seem the type to collect odds and ends--Demarco barks a laugh and buys the replacement a drink.

"It's not Cleven's collection. Well, it is. But it's not."

The replacement stares at Demarco. "Uh-huh. Clear as mud."

Demarco sighs. "They're all his, but he didn't pick them, okay?"

"That's no clearer."

Demarco shrugs. "You'll figure it out."

A week later, the replacement is reading in his bunk when Major Egan walks in, giggly and flushed from drinking. He drops hard onto Major Cleven's bed. Major Cleven is--or was--sleeping, but he wakes up and huffs a laugh and says as calm and even as he seems to do everything. "What are you up to?"

Major Egan holds out a hand. "Look what I found!"

Major Cleven squints at Major Egan's hand. "It's a penny."

"No, look closer," Major Egan says. He picks up the penny with his other hand and holds it very close to Major Cleven's eyes. "Look."

Major Cleven grabs Major Egan's wrist and pulls it back a few inches. He squints at the penny, then reaches over and flicks on his lamp. He squints at the penny again. "It's still a penny, John."

"No, it's your birth year," Major Egan says. "See?" He points. "And I found it heads up! It's double good luck for you."

The replacement suddenly realizes neither of them have clocked that he's there. He coughs politely, and suddenly, both Majors are looking at him.

"Is this your first time experiencing Major Egan in his magpie form?" Major Cleven asks.

"Uh," the replacement says.

"He acts like it's silly, but he keeps all of them," Major Egan says, gesturing to Major Cleven.

The replacement expects Major Cleven to scoff or shove Major Egan off his bed. Instead, he smiles and holds out his hand.

"I don't act like it's silly," Major Cleven says and looks at his table for a long moment before setting down very precisely. "I just can't follow your booze-soaked reasoning when you wake me up in the middle of the night."

Major Egan flops sideways so he's taking over half of Major Cleven's bed. "It's only ten, you old man."

Major Cleven stares at Major Egan. "We have an audience, John."

"Eh," Major Egan says and rolls over, stealing Major Cleven's pillow.

"Hey, give that back!" Major Cleven says, yanking the pillow, but Major Egan isn't giving it up.

The replacement doesn't know what to do, so he goes back to his book. The next night at the officer's club, he buys Demarco a drink.

"What was it this time?" Demarco asks.

"A penny from his birth year that he found face up."

Demarco bursts into laughter. "Oh, that's a whole new level of lovesick."

"Are they together?"

"Joined at the hip and a few other parts," Demarco says, then downs his drink. He slaps the replacement on the back. "Come on. I'll let you tell Brady what the latest one is. He'll love it."

[burntb4bydoll]

Am I pulling up with a silly little idea again? Yes <3

I’m a sucker for timeline headcanons so this time, I’d love to see your take on Bill and Reader being the literal parents of the band since they started but being completely oblivious til modern Tom is fed up with their antics and literally sits them down like you two have been an un-official married couple for 20 years, date already

It’s so funny in my head for some reason 😭

AWWW THIS IS SO CUTE AND SILLY I LOVE IT

Being a parent friend with Bill Kaulitz while secretly liking each other headcannons

•hes totally a parent friend

•yall go shopping together

•he pushes the cart so you dont have to

•or else there won’t be anything you guys need on the tour bus

•you both have to stop the others from doing stupid shit

•and stop them from getting into fights with each other

•the guys are basically your grown ass toddlers that you have to take care of together

•and ofc everyone but you guys can see that you are both in love

•and sometimes you even argue like an old married couple

•everyone jokes about how you two should just get married already

•which makes you to reply with “guys we’re just friends!”

•yeah OK tell that to Bill who is staring at you with heart eyes right now

•when you guys get older, you literally become roommates

•who sometimes sleep in the same bed?

•But you guys argue that its “just platonic”

•liars.

•Tom is FED UP.

•he roll his eyes at you guys whenever he catches you staring at each other

•him and the guys always give each other annoyed looks when you two are so obviously flirting

•Tom makes you both sit on the couch to have a talk

•he just looks at you both and says “you guys are in love. Please just start dating, i am sick of this.”

•Bill just looks at you like 😦😏

•you guys were basically already dating but without anything physical

•now you can be physical tho!🤗

[gffa]

I’ve been playing GENSHIN IMPACT for over a year now and reading a bit of fic here and there, mostly of the Tartali and Zhongli&Venti variety, but then Sumeru hit and oh hey Alhaitham is an amazing unit in a quickbloom team and then Kaveh hurricaned his way into my heart and oh no suddenly I was in love and absolutely tearing my way through every bit of Haikaveh I could get my hands on because christ there’s no way Hoyoverse isn’t writing them that way on purpose. I mean, I’m already a sucker for Old Married Couple type bickering, but then you give me the undercurrent of how much they genuinely mean to each other? How much Alhaitham is genuinely caring about how self-destructive Kaveh is? How Kaveh just absolutely will not shut up about Alhaitham, even the other characters are like “You talk about him so much that it’s like he’s been here with us all night.”? Yeah, of course I fell in love. So, here, cry about a gacha game having beautifully designed characters with just the right types of personality and funny banter that know how to knock me the fuck out with both delight and genuine feelings about idiots in love. Or just old elemental grandpas who annoy the shit out of each other because they’re both several millennia old and nobody else understands their weird friendship. I’m having a great time and I’m going to make that everyone else’s problem. GENSHIN IMPACT - CHILDE IS 10000% CASUALLY UNHINGED OF COURSE HE WANTS TO NOT JUST FIGHT A GOD, HE WANTS TO FUCK A GOD: ✦ Set in Stone by seredemia, childe/zhongli & childe’s family, 115.4k wip      What do you do when you write about a certain six thousand year old consultant so much in your letters that it somehow convinces your entire family you’re not only dating each other, but that you’re also engaged? In Childe’s case, the answer is plain and simple: he goes along with it, of course. Absolutely nothing can go wrong if he makes a contract with the God of Contracts, vowing that the two of them will pretend to be lovers for the duration of his family’s stay in Liyue. Afterwards, they’ll return as normal and speak no more of this mess. No feelings or complications involved whatsoever. ✦ the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma, childe/zhongli & venti, 25.5k      Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth. ✦ my faceless self, alone by recursion, childe/zhongli & guizhong, 7.2k      There is one lone glaze lily left, shining brilliant blue in the depths of Dihua Marsh. Zhongli kneels over it as Xiao looks on. “The contract is fulfilled,” he whispers. He takes his mask off with trembling fingers and sets it aside. The blood that stains it seeps into the ground, turning it rust-red. “That which thou seeketh is now bestowed unto thee, for my promise is solid as stone.” (Zhongli, in the before and after.) ✦ more espresso, less depresso by birdsofpassage, childe/zhongli & ningguang & xingqiu & chongyun, coffeeshop au, 5.3k      There’s a quaint little coffee shop that catches Childe’s eye as soon as soon as he arrives into town. The man that works inside is more exhilarating than any drink Childe has ever tasted. ✦ passing afternoon by bearbearer, childe/zhongli, NSFW, 1.3k      Zhongli just came, really. He just broke into his office with a white loose robe hanging from his shoulders, skin exposed like a gift, and two glasses of fine wine in his hands. There was a smile on his lovely red lips, while they moved around cloying words. “Are you amenable for a rest?” And everything was warm as he approached, because how could Zhongli not— He wouldn’t have a rest at all. ✦ the consultant’s kidnapping by glassdrachma, childe/zhongli & hu tao & cloud retainer & xiao & ganyu & keqing & cast, 19.2k      The Traveller isn’t able to stop Cloud Retainer from seeking revenge on Liyue Harbor. Zhongli is, however. Sort of. ✦ if i choose not to see it, it does not exist by inareese, childe/zhongli, 5.1k      Zhongli might as well have just straight up told Childe. He absolutely refuses to think too hard about it. or Tartaglia’s accidental guide to why Zhongli is most definitely a hundred percent not Rex Lapis. There is nothing suspicious to see here. ✦ A New Mission by Kuranoa, childe/zhongli, NSFW, 2.8k      “Sensei, have you ever bedded anyone?” Childe asks, chin resting on his hand while he observes the flawlessly elegant way Zhongli drinks from his teacup. “I have not.” The Archon answers just as frankly, not even batting a lash. “Would you like to?” ✦ Trial And Success by woahiohioh, childe/zhongli, NSFW, read the tags, 6.7k      Or: Childe asks Zhongli if he can tie him up and they both discover they’re into some things they didn’t know about beforehand. ✦ C.P.R. by silverid, childe/zhongli, NSFW, read the tags, 3.3k      It’s something straight out of Childe’s fantasies. “Don’t worry, xiansheng.” he chokes out. “I’ll show you.” Zhongli’s eyes go half-lidded. “Well then. Direct me.” GENSHIN IMPACT - LET ROCK GRANDPA’S FRIENDS BULLY HIM IT’LL BE SO FUNNY: ✦ rex lapis is totally undeniably dead! by arataka, zhongli & hu tao, 1.7k      when zhongli comes into her office and tells her, “rex lapis is dead” paired with the most serious face she’s ever seen him wear, hu tao laughs at him. GENSHIN IMPACT - YOU EVER LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH YOU WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE? YEAH THAT’S HAIKAVEH: ✦ handle with care by smallghosts, alhaitham/kaveh, 2.4k      Kaveh may be a thorn in Alhaitham’s side, but he’s his favorite one. ✦ Slip of the Tongue by LONEMOON, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno, NSFW, 9.6k      Kaveh is inflicted by a curse that makes him only able to tell the truth. For someone who’s fairly honest and wears his heart on his sleeve, this shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Unfortunately, he has some feelings he’d like to keep hidden… ✦ theory and practice by alcyonenight, alhaitham/kaveh, 3.9k      Kaveh falls ill. Alhaitham works through some things. ✦ too many nights by effervescentskies, alhaitham/kaveh, 4.8k      Kaveh keeps coming back home drunk in the middle of the night. Alhaitham is not pleased. ✦ itni khafa nahin by solarclimes, alhaitham/kaveh, 2.4k      Rtawahist scholars have a curious theory about parallel worlds, where the stars of a person’s constellation are weaved in slightly different ways, creating an infinite number of universes where they make different choices, lead different lives. He had told Al-Haitham about it once, who had declared it outlandish and based on pure conjecture, but Kaveh had found the idea interesting. Perhaps, then, there exists a world, where Kaveh’s life isn’t so at odds with him. Where Kaveh can reach out in this moment and pull Al-Haitham into his arms. ✦ inertia by smallghosts, alhaitham/kaveh, 3.6k      A drunken confession is all it takes to set the inertia of their non-relationship into motion. ✦ Opposites Attract by LavastormSW, alhaitham/kaveh, NSFW, 3k      Alhaitham returns home after a long day commentating on and wrapping up the Akademiya Extravaganza, only to find Kaveh waiting for him… ✦ truck, barter, and trade by Seungshi03, alhaitham/kaveh & wanderer & nahida, 13.3k      Or: Al-Haitham is, without a doubt, the most annoying person Kaveh knows. Maybe the world’s second-most annoying person can help Kaveh figure him out. ✦ I’ll keep your brittle heart warm by clouds_hide, alhaitham/kaveh & nilou & traveler, 3.2k      Or: The Inter-Darshan Championship brings out the problems they don’t talk about. They really need to talk. ✦ i’ve been loving you for quite some time, time, time by creativedisaster, alhaitham/haikaveh, NSFW, 4.7k      After spending the week talking about his plans to move out, Kaveh’s not entirely sure he can face dealing with Alhaitham now he’s staying. But the bad thing about living together - he has to go home sometime. - OR - Alhaitham has some truth for Kaveh that he might not be ready for. ✦ knocking is a wonderous invention by dearwormwood, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno/tighnari, 2.8k      Four times Tighnari and Cyno think they walk in on Alhaitham and Kaveh in compromising positions, and one time they actually do. ✦ sunbird by caniculeo, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno & tighnari & nilou & kaveh’s mother & cast, 19.1k      This is how Kaveh grows up—well-loved and loving, with a pencil in his hand and starlight in his eyes. This is how he grows up, until his father leaves for the desert one day, and never comes back. ✦ you put the ‘fun’ into dysfunction by emigmatic, alhaitham/kaveh, NSFW, 3.7k      His dream was not a dream. It was real. “Oh.” “Is that all you have to say? Oh?” Kaveh presses, but he relents after studying his junior for a moment. His eyebrows draw together and a slight frown takes up residence on his face. “You…why do you look so surprised that I want to talk about how we just had sex?” ✦ diesel is desire (you were playing with fire) by clouds_hide, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno, NSFW, 6.7k      Kaveh on his back, his blonde hair splayed across the white sheets, his entire chest flushed from arousal, is the most beautiful sight in the world. Even if Alhaitham lives through a thousand samsaras, he will never forget this. ✦ modus vivendi by katraa, alhaitham/kaveh, NSFW, 3.5k      Kaveh has a sprained wrist, his roommate is insufferable, and said roommate knows how to take someone’s mind off the pain. Or, they finally stop dancing around the subject and bang. ✦ That’s The Way I Loved You by rewmariewrites, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno & tighnari & cast, NSFW, 16.9k      Tighnari rolls his eyes and turns back to Kaveh. “You didn’t answer my question,” Tighnari says, like he thinks Kaveh is an idiot. Kaveh rolls his eyes right back. “No, we’re not dating.” ✦ argumentative, antithetical dream girl by clouds_hide, alhaitham/kaveh & cyno & tighnari, NSFW, 6.8k      Or: Kaveh attempts to have no-strings-attached sex with his roommate. There are so many strings attached, he might as well be a marionette. GENSHIN IMPACT - THAT ONE SCENE OF VENTI BEING AN ANNOYING BASTARD AT XIAO WAS ENOUGH TO CONVERT ME TO SHIPPING THEM: ✦ carried by the wind by underfallingflowerpetals, venti/xiao, 1.7k      Or: Xiao isn’t used to being taken care of, but Venti is nothing if not persistent.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Im a sucker for married couples. What about a stoic, grumpy, gentle hero with a bubbly, emotional villain, and them having an argument?

Just a whole bunch fluff honestly.

“Look, it’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? Not that bad?” The hero was usually the most self-controlled person the villain knew. They were calm, sometimes a bit cranky or seemingly unemotional but overall caring and often incredibly adorable (even though they didn’t want to hear that).

Right now, however, they almost seemed to burst. The villain knew they were more angry at themselves than at them.

“I can wash the bedding next time, my love. It’s really not that big of a deal,” the villain tried but they already knew the hero didn’t want to hear any of that.

“Sweetheart. You bled through the whole bedding. You’re insane if you think I’ll let you do any kind of chore for the next month,” the hero said. They pressed their lover back into the bed which they’d previously made and sat on their hips, pushing them into the soft clean sheets. They pulled up the villain’s shirt to look at their stitches. For a moment, they seemed much too sad.

“Darling, it’s okay. Really,” the villain whispered.

“I could’ve made it cleaner,” their spouse said. “I’ll be more focused next time, I’m sorry.”

The villain grabbed their wrist and squeezed it.

“It’s a perfect stitch, darling. I should’ve told you that I was injured.”

“It’s gonna leave a scar.”

“That’s what stab wounds do.”

They stared at each other for a long long time and the villain felt so bad for not telling the hero. They were a team, goddammit.

The hero’s gaze jumped back to the wound.

“I’m gonna get you one of those big band aids that you don’t like.” They stood up, still resigned, and the villain could feel how the mattress was moving up. They absolutely hated that feeling. It always meant the hero was leaving. For patrol, for work, even leaving to go into the next room felt horrible.

Their entire life, the villain had been alone. No one had cared for their well-being nor their interests. But the hero did, surprisingly so. When they had confessed their feelings, the villain had thought it to be a joke. But it was quite true.

“Are you mad at me?” the villain asked before the hero could reach the door. “I know communication is hard for you and that’s okay but if you’re angry with me, please let me know. You can text me if that’s easier than speaking.”

The hero froze, their back still turned to the villain. It took an eternity for them to turn around.

“My love, I am not mad at you. Fuck, did I make you think I am...?” They frowned, pursing their lips, staring at their feet. “Shit, I was too harsh, you’re right.”

Their eyes found the villain’s again.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m not mad at you, I am worried about you. I feel bad for not noticing sooner. You didn’t want to cuddle yesterday, I should’ve known that something was up from that moment.”

“Seriously, I am the one who’s to blame. I didn’t want to bother or upset you. I know you well enough, I know you’re not thinking like that. I am sorry.” And then, the hero smiled softly. It was something that didn’t occurr often. It was a sad smile.

They walked over to their spouse and the villain felt the imminent relief as their hands found theirs.

“I love you so much, you know? And I’m sorry I didn’t communicate. Sometimes, the past just...” They didn’t dare speak more, too caught up in their own whirl of thoughts.

“I will never hit you for telling me how you feel,” the villain said softly. “We’re healing together, remember? I am not them. You’re okay. We are okay. I’ll be more careful next time so the situation doesn’t escalate, alright?”

They cupped the hero’s face gently.

“I’ll try to talk more,” the hero said, tears in their eyes.

“I’ll try to be less self-destructive,” the villain said, lump in their throat.

Interestingly enough, their promises made the world a better place.

[ms-cartoon]

HB Western Energy, Rant Review

Okay, imma just go ahead and jump straight into it....

-- Stolas and Stella barking at each other like a couple of high schoolers. Calling each other names n stuff. Even Stella yelling “F*CKISH. IMP. SUCKER!!” Okay... is she mad about the affair or not? I mean, yeah... we kinda learn that she doesn’t care about that and had always hated Stolas (even then, it still doesn’t make sense given how this was written) But she yelled that with such anger in her voice and she keeps calling him things that go along the lines of either banging an imp or being a cheater. She even called a hitman on him while referring to him as a “cheating prick!” All I’m saying is, if she really hated Stolas from the get-go and if she actually doesn’t care about the affair, then make her act like it. I don’t even think she should even care about who he did it with. Even if she was embarrassed about it being with an imp, it’s not that serious. Especially when she already hates him. The writers are just making her unnecessarily petty.

-- Speaking of the bickering, I can’t even take these two seriously anymore with the way they’re fighting. Once again, I feel like I’m looking at immature high schoolers cussing and throwing childish insults at each other. This was not the kind of dynamic I was expecting at all. And this was supposed to be the abusive relationship we’re expected to cry for Stolas over??? The writers were making it seem like Stolas was the sensitive one in the relationship the entire time, afraid of standing up to her. He could’ve thrown her out a long time ago if it was that simple.

-- Man... the C word is being spat out more than the f-bombs in this episode!

-- We see from Stolas’s phone that he’s planning to have a meeting with Asmodeus soon. This is probably about the whole crystal thing to give to Blitzo in the future so he could FINALLY drop the deal about giving the grimoire back in exchange for sex. How much you wanna bet this meeting with Asmodeus is a pointless plot hole waiting to happen until the last minute? I can just tell by the way the scheduled meeting on Stolas’s phone was shown to us in a blink of an eye and it wasn’t even that important.

-- Stolas: Cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two sh*ts about me or very much our arranged marriage.” 

Oh jeezus... less than 40 seconds in and this episode already pissed off with the bullsh*t. These writers are seriously telling us “It’s okay that Stolas cheated on his wife, cuz she never liked him anyway.” Well, OF COURSE NOW we know she never liked him! Of course, NOW it’s revealed she abused Stolas the whole time they were married! I mean after all, how else is Viv gonna let Stolas slip by and have him be in the right EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME!!! As if all of his flaws from season 1 to the last episode just never happened and now suddenly, he did nothing wrong and his affair is completely justified when it shouldn’t be. Y’all can see it how you wanna see it, but cheating is cheating and it’s wrong!! It doesn’t matter if Stella never loved him or he never loved her. If he really couldn’t stand her, he could’ve just divorced her when he had the chance too. It’s not like anything was stopping him from before. You could say Octavia was the main reason why he stayed, but he and Stella already fight in front of her!! She was already not happy with this family to begin with since the first season. And besides, how can we even say that cheating on Stella was excusable when Octavia was obviously affected by it?? He may not have cared about how Stella felt, but what about Octavia!!?? His DAUGHTER!??

-- Stella in the first episode of the second season made it seem like the whole divorce thing was gonna be a big deal like it was a whole violation to the Goetia demons and Stolas was breaking a rule, but so far... the divorce did nothing. All we see is her bickering with him more and demanding her belongings back from the mansion. She never even liked him from the beginning anyway, what would make her so upset about the divorce? What does she have to lose from it? The power? The money, the status?? I mean, she would lose her status as a queen... but that’s it. Aside from that, she’s still a noble and she’s rich. She shouldn’t have anything to worry about. And she mentioned her brother as if he wasn’t to be messed with. Like he was gonna be angry and come after Stolas for having the audacity to divorce his sister. But all I see is a pompous peacock who just wants money and doesn’t care at all about Stella’s divorce... Why would they even be asking for money or power????  They’re already rich as hell!!! What else could they possibly want to gain from Stolas?? Just more money???? Wha- do they want the kind of status that Stolas has; a demon prince? Cuz, I don’t think that’s how it works. Even if they did have motives for trying to get what they want, those motives don’t even make any sense. They’re trying to rid Stolas of possessions that they already own. So this whole motivation for keeping Stolas alive along with the conversation that they had is pointless. From where it stands even from the second season, Viv is just making Stella and Andre evil for no reason. She only wants them to be evil without thinking it through and to make Stolas look good.

-- We’re barely a minute in this episode and we jump straight to Striker breaking in, shooting, and kidnapping Stolas! That introduction had no build-up whatsoever. It happened so swiftly, I couldn’t even keep up!! This episode is already so rushed and fast-paced, and Andrealphus didn’t even get a proper first appearance. Like the show showed us Andre spoke for two seconds without a good first appearance. Almost as if he’s already made his appearance before, and this is our first time seeing him in the show and hearing his voice.

-- I find it funny how in the festival episode, Striker was being a little slick in his assassination attempt; hiding in his room before shooting at Stolas from a far distance, which seems like a more clever and cleaner way to go about it. But in THIS episode, he wastes no time just BARGING with his horse through the window, making a scene, and shooting bullets head-on right then and there??? And now he’s just straight-up being messy with it? Plus, now that Stolas can see he’s being shot at, he’s able to dodge every bullet coming his way, making it difficult for Striker to kill him. This wouldn’t have been so hard have Striker gone about it the way he did back at the festival; he could’ve hidden somewhere, shot Stolas, and BOOM mission complete. Why is he being so extra with it??? And he’s supposed to be an assassin??

-- Striker: *Somehow, shoots a bullet through Stolas’s hat.*

Well damn, no wonder this dude couldn’t shoot him. He got no aim.....

-- Why does Stolas keep dodging and flying from Striker anyway? All he has to do is look at him and turn him into stone. Frikin’ turn into a huge demon if you have to. Use your telekinesis to stop the bullets!! Now this so-called “prince” got tied into a knot by angelic ropes that restricts his powers when he should’ve been able to save his own ass. “Oh dear, the is worrisome.” Yeah, no sh*t buddy... 

-- Even though he’s tied up, Stolas managed to pick up his phone and contact Blitzo. His powers are secured, fine. But his hands, legs, and feet are still free. He could literally just jump off of Striker’s horse using his legs and feet while they’re still on the ground and try to free himself with his hands.

-- Stolas: “I seem to have been stolen by that little cowboy friend of yours.”

 Moxxie: “Can you describe him, your highness?” 

Stolas: *Looks at Striker* “Sexy?” 

 Just say his name!!! You already know who he is!! You announced him back at the harvest moon festival! And you’ve seen him there!!! How come you don’t remember who he is all of a sudden??? yeah, “Good memory” my a**! And why is “Sexy” the first thing that comes to mind when you’re describing him?? I guess he doesn’t completely mark Blitzo as a single-target sexuality. And how come Moxxie immediately knows who Stolas is talking about when he was describing him? Does Moxxie think Striker looks sexy??? Like bro, your wife is right beside you!! LOL!

-- Stolas to Blitzo: I think you should come save me.”

Dude... just try to break free from the ropes and jump off the horse!!! Your hands and legs are free!! Stop being such a damsel waiting for your knight in shining armor. This is just another excuse to have Blitzo come and save you when there are other options.

-- Loona doesn’t say a word in this, but I’m not gonna b*tch about it like I do with everything else. Her voice actress’s fiance passed away due to cancer recently I believe, and she’s been going through it. So sorry for your loss, Erica! I hope all is well and you’re doing okay!

-- This whole comedic side plot with Blitzo and Loona seemed a little boring and I barely cracked a laugh. Nowadays, the Brandon Rodgers comedy is much more funny in his youtube videos than him as a cartoon character. There are more f-bombs in his dialogue than there is any character in him. Literally, any time he’s provoked, he pulls out his guns and attempts to murder someone, and it’s usually not even that serious. Not gonna lie, it kinda annoys me at this point. It wasn’t funny to me when they were in Hollywood, especially when he was going through some serious trauma which caused his rampage in the first place and we were supposed to be sad for him, so it definitely doesn’t make me laugh now.  And they try to force a Karen character into this to make it more funny, but- I’m sorry. It doesn’t work for me. 

-- Blitzo keeps complaining that he and Loona have to wait every 5 years to get a shot in the hospital, which I’m assuming is supposed to be a joke saying that all hospitals are a drag and super slow. I’m sorry? 5 years??? That’s a bit of a stretch! As far as my knowledge goes, most hospitals do take the time to schedule appointments for their clients. Even when it does take long, well... fairly enough, they do have a lot of clients to get through in at least one year. You can’t fully blame them for taking their time. It’s not like they’re being lazy. So yeah, I wouldn’t really make fun of that.

-- This little b plot shouldn’t even be in this episode anyway! This whole side plot was supposed to be comedic, but it just doesn’t fit at all when we’re dealing with a serious situation of Stolas being kidnapped and about to get killed. And the fact that we keep cutting away from this plot back to back is even worse! I think it makes more since to give Millie and Moxxie more attention than to continuously show the shenanigans happening with Blitzo and Loona. Either that or save the whole “Loona’s shot” thing for another episode and instead have Blitzo join Moxxie and Millie in saving Stolas. Loona doesn’t have any lines in this anyway, so she doesn’t even have to be in this episode.

-- The lady at the counter says she couldn’t read but was able to find Blitzo’s name on her paper sheets just fine with no issue. Clearly they didn’t think this dialogue through. What, does she have short-term memory? How was she even hired??

-- This whole folk song about Striker is so stupid. It’s honestly pretty forgettable. For real though, how come this dude suddenly has a reputation for being the most badass assassin in the West??? This episode is pretty much showing us that he is very well-known amongst all the demons. But aren’t most assassins supposed to be... idk, secretive??? Plus, if everyone already knows about him, how come Millie’s parents didn’t know who he was before they hired him as a farm hand??? And why is he suddenly a famous assassin?? Wasn’t he supposed to be some random imp who was hired by Stella to kill someone? This is just a whole other retcon. Goddamn it, I am so sick of all these retcons!!

-- I’m so glad Striker shut them up. That was the only part in this whole episode to make me laugh.

-- I honestly forget that Millie and Moxxie are even in this episode. I’m sorry- are these two just meant to be the supporting cast now??? Are they only just there to show everybody how cute of a couple they are? Cuz we already know this!!! So M&M are the ones to go and save Stolas because they have to “settle a score” with Striker.... What exactly is it that you have to settle with Striker? The loss of your fight with him?? Okay, sure, but I still don’t know why they feel the need to “settle a score” with him. It’s not like he did anything that they held a grudge against. Millie’s leg almost got amputated cuz of him, but that’s it. She’s walking just fine, otherwise. And Moxxie did feel inferior to Striker, but it was nothing serious (plus he continues to feel inferior with no kind of build up. So that whole plot alone was pointless). I just feel like there’s not much bad blood between them to settle a score for. It makes more sense for Blitzo to go rescue Stolas while M&M assisted him. And besides, Moxxie and Millie trying to fight off Striker didn’t exactly end well the last time. Blitzo shouldn’t have any trust in them to take care of him themselves. The only reason why they succeeded in this episode is because.... plot.

-- Of course, we just have to have some other pointless conflict that happens and is concluded in a blink of an eye. So Millie puts a cowboy hat on Moxxie and they stop to get gas. While Millie walks around and asks questions, some random a**hole confronts Moxxie about the hat he’s wearing and assumed he stole one of his simply because it looks like the one he’s wearing. Did it ever occur to this moron that most hats just look similar to each other? Why is he getting his d*ck in a twist over some stupid headwear?

-- OH F*CK OFF WITH THIS!!! So now Moxxie is suddenly a strong badass and could brawl with more than two people twice his size!!??? Where the hell was THIS when he was fighting Striker the first time or in the last episode!!!?? Like, can he fight or not!!??? This just does not make sense to me, especially when his whole character is about him not being a very skilled fighter like his wife or Blitzo. Not only is Millie an on-and-off fighter when the plot wants her to be, but so is her husband? Gimme a break!!

-- Stolas: “Wouldn’t a holy bullet have sufficed? Or could you not afford those?”

Stolas is technically bringing up the fact the imps are the lowest ranking and hardly have any cash on them. The show keeps telling us that imps are the poorest of the poor, but they sure as hell aren’t poor enough to own a whole circus (*cough* Blitzo’s dad *cough*). Not to mention Blitzo had a pretty high-paying job and could rent a whole office. Seems like to me that the imps are living pretty average for a species being the lowest rank. 

Wait... Is Striker an Imp or a snake?

-- Striker: I was paid to give you the real royal treatment.

Mm, no... You were paid to just shoot him (yet another retcon). All you’re doing is pointlessly dragging this mission by torturing him when you could literally just pull the frikin trigger and put a bullet in his head. Shut up with the edgy monologue and kill him!! 

-- WTF!!!

-- Stolas decides NOW to try to turn Striker into stone... That should’ve been done already, buddy!

-- Does this kink really get turned on in bed by getting painfully tortured, having his limbs broken and impaled n sh*t?? WHY DOES BLITZO STAB STOLAS AND BREAK HIS BONES WHILE HAVING SEX IN BED????!!!! LIKE Y’ALL, I CANT-

-- Why they gotta make my girl Stella so dumb in this show? I’m not surprised in the least (though I was hoping it wasn’t the case), but it honestly just irritates me more with what they’re doing to her. So Andrealphus reminds her that if she get’s Stolas killed, she would get nothing. But why does Stella have to be told that?? She should already know this! And why is she being all “Tee hee hee” and childish about all this anyways?? Yeah, Stolas gets to die and that’s what she wanted, but she’s being all giggles about it and she turns into a little brat and whines when told she can’t kill him and I can’t even take her seriously. I was expecting her to act much more sinister and serious. What happened to her hot-temper that could easily get provoked?? Idk that just rubbed me the wrong way.

Andre: When Stolas dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it will all pass to... Via.”

-- Okay... so what? It’s not like Stella even cares about that, as far as we’ve seen. All she ever did was throw parties and talk sh*t about Stolas. She doesn’t care at all about fulfilling any duties Stolas had to take care of. She’s never even been interested in the book. What exactly has she done that was even remotely Goetia-like? Ma’am just hates her ex and wants him to die.

-- Okay, first off.... eww! What is this?? Like dude- back up! What is this incest sh*t I’m lookin’ at? I don’t like this. Viv, plz don’t!!

-- Andre: I say we bide our time, and wait for the chance to gain the upper-hand.”

B*tch, what are you talkin’ about! You already had the upper-hand. And you’re sister clearly doesn’t care about Stolas’s possessions or power. She doesn’t even care that her daughter gets to obtain that. She just wants him dead. If anything, it just seems like YOU want what Stolas has and is only controlling your sister.

-- Can we PLEASE stop going in and out of Loona and Blitzo and just focus on the fight scene with M&M vs Striker! The stupid side plot doesn’t even fit with this episode! This is supposed to be a serious moment with Striker kidnapping Stolas and keeping Moxxie and Millie out the way, yet at the same time were expected to laugh and giggle at Loona escaping the wrath of a frikin needle!!!??? And the stupid girly pop music doesn’t even help!

-- Why her butt?..... Out of all the places to give her a shot??? 

-- Striker: “Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one.”

Moxxie: *Getting choked by Striker* Harder!

Umm, excuse me, sir? WTF!!! Is Viv making these little jokes a trope now!!? Why does Moxxie have a kink!?? He’s not even a very sexual person!! I dunno if he was just doing that to throw Striker off or somethin, but WHAT IN THE HELL!!?? And why did Striker immediately let go, feeling disgusted!!??? Bro, you made a statue with a literal stick-shaped boner???!!! This should NOT have caught you off-guard so easily!!!

-- When something is falling and is about to come crashing onto you, you do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES walk forward! You could literally just jump to the side.

-- I don’t know if Striker is dead or not, but if he is, Then way to go, Viv! You may have just killed off a character that was even slightly interesting. If you're gonna make a character and have him get this popular only to kill him off, at least venture him a little bit first!! This was only his second debut in the show and we hardly gotten anything from his character! There wasn’t much backstory to him or anything. Just that he was a bigot who was hired to kill Stolas and HATES nobles!  And Striker even mentioned that there was someone he cared about taken away from him by the upper class. It raised wonders why he felt so much hatred for the rich folk and we won’t even get to explore that cuz he may have possibly died. I may not care much about him, but there were still some things I noticed about Striker that I found interesting and they needed to be explored. 

With him and Moxxie, I still feel like there wasn’t much score to settle between them. To me, they don’t have much of a dynamic at all, and they were supposed to be rivals. In fact, their second meeting felt rushed. The second Millie and Moxxie barged in, Moxxie just went ahead and pulled a trigger on him without saying a word. We don’t even get to hear any dialoge between them. It’s fighting, fighting, and more fighting. There wasn’t even much of an enemy relationship between them. Actually, Striker seems to have more of an adversary with Blitzo. And what about him and Blitzo??? The writers made it seem like Striker had a pretty big impact on him; from when he tried convincing him to join forces because they were so similar in certain ways to Blitzo hallucinating him in his trip dream. With the conversation they had at the festival, Striker was manipulating his insecurities. And that apparently affected Blitzo, because an episode later, he was dreaming about Striker tormenting him, along with Moxxie, Verosika, Fizz, and Stolas. So yeah, was kinda expecting to see some more interactions between those two. Neither of them didn’t even get to speak to each other this whole episode!! Its like I said, Blitzo should’ve joined Moxxie and Millie in Stolas’s rescue.

-- So Stolas is injured and is rushed to the hospital. Blitzo finds out about the and asks the most stupidest-a** question to have put have ever been put in this dialogue....

-- WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN!?!?!?! 

Of course he can get hurt!!! You already know that, you stupid d*ck!!! Why else did you point the gun at Striker before he killed Stolas back at the festival!! You obviously knew he would get hurt if he was shot!! What did you think that Angelic Weapon was made for??!!!! Whatever happened to that weapon anyway? We don’t ever get to see that again at all? Judging from Moxxie’s reaction, the gun seemed like a very rare weapon in hell and is impossible to get. How did Striker even get his hands on it? We don’t even get to explore that?

-- So, as it turns out, the aftermath between Stolas and Blitzo in the Ozzie’s episode actually did occur....

......through text messages *face-palm*

Jesus christ on a bicycle..... The way this was addressed was a literal blink and a miss!! I HATED IT!! I didn’t even realize this was the aftermath until I saw it on twitter!!! So you mean to tell me we don’t get to explore what happened with them after Ozzie’s ON SCREEN at all???? They never even directly talked about what happened??? Are you for real, Viv?? Like- i-is this your way of shutting us up? Like you knew we were curious about what happened between them and decided to half-ass your way out of this by showing a bunch of text messages and moving forward?? Are you THIS lazy!!!!??? They’re not even fully conversing through these messages. If anything, Stolas is the main one doing all the talking while is Blitzo barely responding to him.

-- Dear lordy.... and reading messages don’t even make it better. Stolas is dumbed down deeper than his ex, bro!!! Obviously, he didn’t learn a DAMN THING!!!

Stolas: “You seem very upset and you took off so fast. I’m sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you tonight.”

F*CKING WHA--!! He says it as if he has no clue why Blitzo was mad at him or if he was upset with him at all! Um, b*tch... HE TOLD YOU WHY!!! Like to your face, he said, “Don’t act like that what we have is anything but you wanting me to f*ck you. You make that pretty clear all the time.” And you invited him in your house to cuddle with him knowing damn well he wasn’t in the mood!! You should already know why he’s upset! 

Im sor- Is this another retcon or something?? Were we supposed to see it how Stolas saw it? That Blitzo was upset for some unknown reason and we just can’t figure it out? Are we just gonna act like Stolas had done absolutely NOTHING wrong and he’s just an oh-so-innocent uwu baby bird? Are we gonna act like Blitzo didn’t just call out Stolas, spelling out the exact justified reason why he was mad?? Cuz that’s exactly how this text message scene is acting like!! Like their dialogue only revolves around what during their date and not what happened after that. Why is Stolas even talking about what happened at just Ozzie’s?! There was much more to the situation that affected him after he was dropped off. He was crying on his porch when Blitzo pushed him away. But now the show is not even gonna have them explore that in their messages. And now Viv is not even gonna have Stolas be considerate of Blitzo feelings and know why he’s mad? As if all they did was go their separate ways without saying a word instead of Blitzo dropping Stolas off at his house!!

And he goes on to say this-

“I’m glad that Ozzie’s is not the case of you being upset. I wasn’t upset either. I actually thought it was funny. It didn’t embarrass me at all.”

Okay... first off, what happened at Ozzie’s DID make him upset. YOU were just another one of those reasons. And you ain’t find sh*t funny, you were embarrassed just by BEING THERE with him, hence another reason why he’s mad at you! Like- Seriously?? What is happening right now?? Are all of us watching the same episode!!!??? Why is Stolas acting like such an oblivious and clingy idiot with the long-ass at paragraphs??

-- Okay yall... I’m done.

*Sigh* Okay.

This episode was... well it was somethin'. I'm not gonna say whether I like it or not, though the latter might be obvious enough.

I say the only thing I liked a little about it was Stella. Which is why I'm SUPER disappointed with how her character was written so far. If she were to actually be a character, I would like her more without going, "Oh Jesus... how are they gonna butcher her this time?"



Stella is as one-noted as ever! And there were a couple of traits they added to her character that is just so irritating-- Like, I can't take her seriously anymore. Viv doesn't change a thing about Stella.  Her whole character is, "I hate my ex and I want him dead!" And that's all there is. That's all Stella was worried about this episode. Like- ma'am? Could you just get over it!!? We get it, you hate his guts. And we don't even know WHY she hates him so much! Why does she want him dead, so badly? What could possibly warrant her hatred?? This is like her 4th appearance in this show, yet we're still not given her backstory. Nothing is hinted on why she became such an evil Darla Dimple. At first, in the first season, it seemed like Stella was only angry that her husband had an affair and cheated on her. So angry, she even called a hitman on him. Though it was rather harsh to want someone dead for that, you'd understand why she would be angry. I mean, who wouldn't!!! My husband cheated on me and it greatly affected my family!! That's how we saw it (or at least that's how I saw it). You can't even tell me that Stella never loved Stolas, because it was hinted that she initially did care about him. At least, according to Octavia who said that things used to be decent between them.

But now, since season 2 began, Viv suddenly just slaps us with the fact that Stella had always hated Stolas for no reason?? She just likes to make fun of him and talk sh*t while laughing at him?? She didn't care at all about the affair, but she still insist on tormenting him.... cuz she's evil??? And that excuse is not even justified alone, cuz why is she so evil??.... Because... she was just born that way???

Tch, yeah, alright Vivzie... whatever.

It doesn't even make sense why she's married to him if she's always hated him. Why did she even stick with him if she was just going to keep talking bad about him and complain about being married to him??? Yeah, I know there were arranged to marry, but they're adults now. No one could tell them what to do! She could've just divorced him. And clearly, nothing came of it. She could've left him WAY before now. You could say she only stuck around for the riches and the power, but she obviously doesn't care about that! All she ever did was throw parties. She didn't show off any riches or power she had when she was with him. And again... why does she want him dead?? What was her final straw here?? It was already established she didn't care about the affair and she already hated Stolas. What, was it because he embarrassed her by doing what he did? Well, like I said, she doesn't care about the affair, so why would she care about the embarrassment!? I just don't understand---

And I've already mentioned this, but I also didn't like how childish and giddy they made her about the whole thing. I didn't like to see how excited she was about her ex finally dying. I mean, it's nice to see she has no regrets and is proud, but in cases like her behavior about it-- it just doesn't seem to work for me. I was expecting Stella to be... stone-cold. Like just a soft-spoken, strict, and sinister woman who is somewhat secretive of her wicked ways and is tricky, but doesn't hide it fully. And despite knowing what she's doing, she doesn't care at all about the effects of it as long as she gets what she wants. Almost like Lady Tremaine from Cinderella, Ursula from The Little Mermaid, or Mother Gothel from Tangled.

But instead, I experience this-

I don't even like the way she acted when she was told she can't continue going along with what she wanted. She started to whine like a baby, crying "Aww! But I want him dead so badly!!!" Like, miss-- how old are you?? I would expect for her to be all "harumph!!" and begrudgingly agree with her brother after arguing with him a little. Not this immature little princess who will cry if she doesn't get her dolly back!



Another thing that bugged me about this episode, of course, was more Stolitz. It's pretty clear up to this point that Viv so DESPERATELY wants to make these two endgame. She doesn't care at all about how fast, how rushed, or how unplanned she makes this show as long as Stolas and Blitzo become a couple in the end. But just by rushing the show and not planning it, she doesn't really do a great job of showing us these two are good for each other. It just gets more toxic, especially with Stolas acting like he always cared about Blitzo when he obviously didn't and just becomes more selfish and oblivious to his feelings. Hell, he continues to be a flirt after Blitzo pretty much calls him out on it! And Viv tries to show us that Blitzo had always cared about Stolas and secretly wants a relationship with him, but considering the blank responses and the passive-aggressive behavior from those text messages, it's clear Blitzo does NOT like Stolas and doesn't care at all about him! Even when he reacted with disbelief over him getting hurt, he still gave him a short-worded text!! Like-- Blitzo just doesn't like Stolas, okay Viv. 



Ugh!! This show has officially broken me with the stupid sh*t, y’all. I still have some things I wanna say about it that I may have left off, but I’m to tired for now. They can be saved for another day. I-I cant anymore-  The only reason why I’m even going along with this is because I’m curious to see how these eps will turn out. Like, I’m still curious about Fizz, Verosika, and Barbie. And you best believe I’m waiting for the last episode where we get to hear Octavia finally go off on her dad. It’s a literal challenge at this point, but bring it on. And It’s ironic, cuz I love critiquing shows, whether I like them or not.

[coralinnii]

Thanks for answering my ask.... If you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/manhwa/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? And why you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks.

Hmm it’s been a while since I care much about romantic relationships (yes, I see the irony of me, a primarily fluff writer, saying that) but there are some memorable ones that I still love for their dynamic. These are the 5 that I can really remember at the top of my head, I’m sure there’s are many iconic ones but these are just my personal “couple goals” people

1. Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brother (manga, anime)

Soulmates, More than Lovers

Yes, there is Edward and Winry and they’re great too but Roy and Riza, even when they weren’t officially canon? Oh wow, I absolutely idolised their dynamic growing up. They have to maintain a professional relationship as officer and superior but everyone can tell that they care so much about each other. It’s the trust between, it’s the way they understood each other so much and the faith they have of their partner’s competence. They bicker and annoy each other like old comrades but their bond goes beyond being brothers-in-arms, it’s the way they support each other knowing that they both wish for a world where no one has to go through what they did again. Riza believed in Roy not just because she cared about him but also because she truly believes in him making good on his word in building a better government, and Roy believed in Riza because of her integrity, that he knew she will never be swayed and keep him in track of his dream because that’s just the amazing person she was.

2. Sawako Kuronuma and Shota Kazehaya from Kimi ni Todoke (manga, anime, live-action film)

Friends to Lovers

While romcoms aren’t really my thing, this series was my favorite romcom growing up that I still remember it pretty well after all these years. No hate to the other shoujo animes but Kazehaya was the greenest flag and I can’t be convinced otherwise. He was genuinely kind to everyone, didn’t believe in the crazy rumours and saw Sawako as the sweet person she was, and be that supporting friend to her even when he could tell he had feelings for her. Kazehaya had better emotional awareness and understood how he felt pretty early in the series but never pushed the topic on Sawako when she was still new to a lot of social experiences. Sawako was aware of all the support he has given her and in response, worked hard to make sure his efforts weren’t wasted. It was cute, supportive, and the results felt so deserved and not abrupt.

3. Takeru Takahashi and Hikari Yagami from Digimon (anime)

Will they, won’t they, Childhood friends

I’ve been shipping even before I knew what shipping was. I didn’t know why I love them so much growing. Maybe because I really like the aesthetics, maybe because I’m a sucker for childhood friends, maybe because of all the connections of the crest of hope and light. I thought I grew out of this shipping phrase but nope! I went crazy over the crumbs we get from Digimon Tri. They are such a “Will they, won’t they” duo. I can see them work so well as friends as they do as a couple. They tease each other and are so comfortable together but they are always there for each other when either one of them goes through something.

4. Nomoto and Kasuga from She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat

Neighbours to ???

This is a fairly new series in comparison to everything else on the list, but I do love the characters of this series. Not only are the main duo relatable as individuals, they found support in each other. This is a personal plus, but watching Nomoto learning she’s an ace lesbian growing these sweet, wholesome feelings for her neighbour makes the dynamic stand out to me more since this helps show to whatever naysayers that believes that the feeding food part of the story is a kink play of theirs. Like dudes…what? It’s really nice to watch two realistic individuals in a grounded relationship (whatever it is at this point), while going through some heavy topics about societal standards.

5. Seo Dan and Seung Jun from Crash Landing on You (Kdrama)

Villainess x Conman

Seeing that Seo Dan was in the position to be the villainess because she was the second female lead and the male lead’s arranged fiance, everyone would think that she would be evil like all the other second leads in Kdramas, but NO! Seo Dan never outright harm the female lead but instead tried to spend time and win over the man that was her fiance. When she realized she couldn’t and her love is turning toxic, she chose not to continue the path of unrequited love and move on, even though it hurt her because she truly loved the male lead, her first love. Seung Jun was in a somewhat similar villain position being a close-hearted conman who’s not the type to stay for anyone. But he starts to fall for Seo Dan, and hated seeing her break because of a man who couldn’t see how amazing she was. This made me tear up to see that Seo Dan found someone that truly love her, and that Seung Jun found someone who he could truly cherish with all his heart. They got to be the realest and best versions of themselves with each other and were a couple that met the right person, there were just some mistakes to realize it.

[animanga-bonanza]

i have so many feelings and thoughts about this latest episode of x men 97 -- spoilers under the cut

first, my favorite highlights/takeaways:

As usual, the dialogue is S-tier and this show is really good about putting the characters through dilemmas that have real stakes, and having the characters navigate those dilemmas in ways that both make sense for them and require them to move forward

Xavier is a confirmed bottom 😂 my man was ready to be a PET for this glamorous space lady

Loved that moment where Xavier literally takes the Shi’ar to class and starts SCHOOLING them 😂 he said “hold up I’m a teacher. lemme teach y’all something right now” 👨‍🏫

When talking about what he wanted to remember from Earth, he only mentioned Magneto, his “old friend” (YOU MEAN YOUR EX. YOUR SOULMATE. THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. C’MON CHARLES)

Speaking of Xavier x Magneto, when he finds out what happened to Magnus…😭 it was already heartbreaking seeing his reaction to Gambit's death

I’m certain the Shi’ar stuff is going to be the main conflict in Season Two or Three; Season One is gonna be focused on X-Men vs Sinister. Having this warmongering galactic empire on the brink of a coup that believes Earth is a “ghetto”, it’s not gonna turn out well for Earth.

I’m glad this episode confirmed that Sinister is behind the Genosha attack (though idk he might be working for someone else); writers sometimes keep their cards too close to their chest because they’re afraid that if they reveal their hand too soon, the audience will lose interest. But in my experience, it’s often more fun when the writers show you their hand and then use their cards to build a magnificent tower. Knowing who all the players are, their goals and motivations, and watching them duke it out is the stuff that drama is made of. It’s kind of like the Hitchcock principle of showing your audience the bomb under the table in order to raise suspense.

I’m REALLY happy that Storm is back, I missed her so much these past couple episodes! Aaah I’m a sucker for characters with weather powers, and hearing about the stuff Storm can do in the comics, I’m looking forward to seeing her use her abilities in a range of creative ways

Now for some analysis/ramblings!!

Storm and Xavier’s struggles mirror each other. Both characters are having to choose between comfort/happiness and duty/hardship.

Storm believes she’d be happier as a normal human. She could leave all her past troubles behind, build a new life with Forge. But that would be a betrayal of herself, her values, and her community. The Adversary’s line about Storm being afraid of living more than dying cuts deep. Storm was never afraid to put her life on the line to protect others. She literally took a bullet for Magneto. Her biggest fear is living her full truth, perhaps because her power is so great that it might alienate her from other people, even from her fellow mutants. As Magneto said (and I paraphrase), she is the closest thing to a goddess their world has ever seen.

And IIRC, part of Storm’s backstory involved her being worshiped/revered as a goddess or holy priestess. I think this past experience made Storm wary of embracing her full power because that kind of existence is lonely.

Honestly, as a black woman, Storm’s journey resonates so much. In real life, black women are often expected to be superhuman, the “strong black woman” who can shoulder her own burdens and everyone else’s. Storm suppressing her own powers for fear of being put on a pedestal as this flawless “queen” or “goddess” who can reliably solve everyone else’s problems? Yeah. That’s some real stuff. Storm, like everyone else, deserves to be vulnerable. To be protected and cared for instead of having to always protect and care for others.

But the expectation to be "strong" is something that Storm seems to have internalized; she didn't have to leave the X-Men when she lost her powers, but she left in part because she felt like she had to deal with her grief alone. And I hope that, even though she’s coming back to the X-Men with her powers fully realized, she’s able to rely on her friends for comfort. I also love that this series emphasizes her friendship with Jean, and I hope to see more of their dynamic going forward.

As for Xavier, he’s having to choose between life on his home planet, where he’s surrounded by family but having to deal with their “drama” plus the persecution of his community, and life among the stars, away from the troubles of Earth but still not accepted as a full person. Either way, he has to play the role of the teacher, the wise mentor who must guide others to the path of enlightened coexistence. It’s a tough burden to bear.

I’m not disabled, but it seems to me that the way Xavier is burdened with the responsibility of having to be a “role model” for others mirrors the way that society treats disabled people in real life. Again, I’m definitely out of my depth here and would love to hear disabled people’s thoughts on the matter, but it’s my understanding that society tends to dehumanize disabled people as either pitiable/contemptible burdens or admirable/brave warriors who can “rise above” their condition. Some of that seems to be baked into certain aspects of how Xavier was conceived as a character and the way he’s often framed by the narrative, but it looks like X Men 97 is aware of this and attempting to interrogate it a little.

Anyway, this episode was really great, a nice breather after the devastation of last week’s episode while still thematically rich and moving the story forward.

[crazyk-imagine]

Jake being Dramatic

Pairing: (Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Mom!Reader

Characters: (Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin, Mom!Reader, Edwin, Maryanne, Sarabeth, Gillian (the kiddos), Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Natasha "Phoenix" Trace, Robert "Bob" Floyd, Javy "Coyote" Machado, Billy "Fritz" Avalone

Warnings: Mention of blue balls (numerous times), pregnancy, hormones being all over the place, Bradley using the kids as bait for numbers, Natasha is a sucker for feeling the baby kick, none of the pilot crew members can act like adults, dirty innuendos, Jake thinks he’s gonna have a boy when reader and Natasha know it’s a girl

Word Count: 2,269

Prev // Next  

TGTBATWOI Master List

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Natasha scoffs, shaking her head. 

“What is it?” You ask. 

She hums, not entirely paying attention to you. “What?” 

“What… is… it?” You enunciate each word. 

“Oh,” she glances over at you from the corner of her eye. “Nothing. It’s- it’s nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing. You barely scoff at articles about celebrities, what’s got you making noise, Princess P?” 

“I hate that you use Bagman’s nickname for me even if it is slightly abbreviated.” 

“No, you don’t. You love it.” 

She smirks, “you can’t prove it.” 

“Everyone knows you love me.” 

“That I can’t deny. You’re the only one who can keep him tame and a little more tolerable.” 

“There’s a couple of other people you’re forgetting.” 

“Okay, the only adult.” 

“You’re too-” you glance down at your belly. 

Natasha perks up, pulling her legs up resting her bottom on her heels, “is she kicking?” 

You smile, rubbing your belly. “She is. Seems like someone is happy to hear about her dada.” “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.” 

She hesitantly stretches her arm in front of her before pulling back. “Can I-” 

“Show me what you’re looking at and I’ll let you feel her soccer kicks.” 

The smile from her face. “You’re an evil woman.” 

“Me? Never. Phone?” 

She sighs and turns on her phone, showing you your husband’s latest post. She places her hand on the center of your belly, inches above your belly button. 

You scoff, shaking your head, grabbing her hand moving it to your left side. 

An excited smile stretches across her lips. “He is so not getting cuddles tonight.” 

“How threatening,” she mutters. 

“Hey! I will have you know I am an excellent cuddler.” 

“I mean, you have to be considering your current situation.” 

“I was not going through dirty route.” 

“And I did. You’re,” she quiets down. Your precious Gillian starts kicking again. Natasha leans forward, basically laying her head in your lap as she rubs your belly, quietly murmuring to her. “You’re so precious. Yes, you are.” 

“Baby G is not a dog, Nat.” 

“I know she’s not but I’m not a baby person.” 

“You’ve taken care of Mary, Eddie, and Sara-B before.” 

“But that’s different. They’re not my kids.” 

“With the way you all burst in here, I don’t know, it’s hard to tell,” you joke with her. “Oh.” 

She pushes herself off you, sitting up. “Pee break?” 

You nod, “pee break.” 

She gets off the couch and helps you get up. 

You waddle to the bathroom. You do your business and start washing your hands; your eyes wander around the sink, stopping at Jake’s almost empty bottle of cologne. You make sure to add that to your mental list so you can add it to your list on your phone. You shake your head as you waddle down the hallway. “Jake’s an ass.” 

“Finally! A conversation I can get into. Why is he an ass this time?” 

“He posts that dumb thing about blue balls and thinks that I’m not gonna find out about it. As if he gets blue balls, if anything it’s me. But I’m not in the mood one time, one time and all of a sudden, he's got blue balls.” 

She owlishly blinks, “okay, I get what you’re saying but it was basically a lot of you saying blue balls and you lost me.” 

“Jake is a dumbass.” 

“For sure but he’s your dumbass.” 

You sniff, “I know.” 

“Oh, you’re crying. Um, okay.” She fluffs the pillow you keep behind your back, “let’s just- let’s sit down and breath.” She takes your hand and pulls you closer towards the couch. 

You sit down, wiping the corner of your eyes. “He’s a dumbass who was trying to impress the guys with that stupid joke.” 

“I know, you’re right.” 

“Of course, I am.” 

“You’ve been hanging out with Jake for so long, you’ve got his cocky attitude.” She shudders, “ew.” 

You two start chuckling so hard, tears pool in both of your waterlines. 

The front door clicks, seems like Jake and the others are back. 

Javy and Bob enter the living room, shoving each other (Bob is lucky he caught himself before he fell). 

“Boys.” 

“Sorry,” they apologize with their heads down. 

Natasha shakes her head at the two. “Whimps.” 

“Shut up,” says Javy. 

“Not a whimp,” Bob mutters. 

“Oh, I know. I sleep next to you; believe me I know.” 

Jake chuckles, “baby on board is getting more action than Chicken. This is great.” 

“Is it great?” 

He bends down to peck your cheek only for you to turn your head. He furrows his brows, “you alright?” 

Your head snaps in his direction, “I don’t know, you tell me.” 

“Alright, come on.” 

“Why don’t you consult your blueberries?” 

“What?” 

Natasha waves the two over, whispering what’s going on. 

They snicker, sitting on the recliner and the floor. 

“What are you talkin’ about, sweetheart?” 

The front door opens again. 

You all turn to see Bradley and the kids. 

“Hello, crew.” 

“Bradley,” you greet him with a smile. 

“Do I sense, drama?” 

Natasha nods her head. 

Maryanne and Edwin come over go you, hugging you. “Hi, mama.” 

You hug and kiss them on the cheek. “Hello, my babies. Did you two have fun?” 

They nod. 

“Uncle Rooster was talking to a few of the moms and nanny’s today,” Edwin informs you. 

“Did he now?” 

He pretends not to hear you as he unbuckles Sarabeth from the stroller, placing her in your arms. 

“And hello my littlest baby.” 

She gurgles, smiling once she realized who’s arms, she’s in now. “Mama.” 

You peck her cheeks, causing her to giggle. “Hi, pumpkin.” You glance over at Bradley who sits on the floor. “How did you enjoy your time at the park, Bradley?” 

“Oh, you know. It was the park. Might’ve gotten a little sun.” 

“How many numbers did you get?” 

“That’s not important.” 

“Less or more than ten?” 

“Seven,” the kids say. 

“Eight, get it right kids.” 

“Wow.” 

“Tramp,” Javy and Natasha cough into their hands. 

“Stop that you two.” 

“How was the mother-to-be today?” 

“I was doing pretty good for most of the day.” 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Okay. What happened? Everyone else has gotten your sweetness but not your own husband.” 

“Did you post anything today?” 

“Post anything? Oh.” 

“Yeah, oh.” 

“You can’t really think I meat it, do you?” 

“I don’t know but you’ll be on your side of the bed tonight.” 

“But I don’t have a side.” 

“Looks like your gonna have one tonight. Yes, you are,” you say looking Sarabeth in the eyes. 

“Sweetheart.” He kneels beside you, rubbing your youngest child’s back. “Come on, you know it was a joke. A bad one, I’ll admit but please don’t punish me, baby.” 

You turn to look at him with pursed lips, “you’re bad at jokes.” 

“I know,” he nods. 

You sniff. 

He sighs, “oh sweetheart.” 

“Mama, no cry. No cry,” she wipes your cheeks. 

“Honey, you know I-” 

“Stop using cute nicknames, it’s making it harder to find you annoying.” 

“Then let me say that I was, again, making a bad joke. You know I love you,” he pecks your cheek. “And how hot under the collar you get.” 

“Your whispering sucks and you need to keep it in your pants. There are children present,” Bob says. 

“Thank God, someone said it,” Javy chimes in. 

“Oh, like you could say anything,” Natasha comments. 

Bradley chuckles. 

“I don’t know what you’re laughing about over their chuckles. You’re the one that uses a baby.” 

“You gotta play the game in order to be in it, right?” 

You two groan. “When did he become such a frat guy?” You ask the woman beside you. 

“I honestly don’t know and I’m afraid to ask for details.” 

You chuckle and turn back to Jake who whispers to your baby. 

She crawls off your lap and wonders over towards her siblings, laying across their laps. 

He turns to look at you and smiles. “Hey, sweetheart.” 

“Hi.” 

He leans in, pecking your lips. “This is a better greeting.” 

“I bet it is.” 

You groan. 

“Pee break?” 

“Pee break,” you confirm. 

“I got you, gorgeous.” He moves to stand in front of you, hauling you out of your seat. His arm curls around your waist, the two of you walk down the hall together. 

-

“Other than your dumb post, how was your day?” 

“Missed you too much to care about the groceries.” 

“Honey-” 

“Nope, you can’t change my mind. Besides I always miss you when I’m out of the house.” 

“Going to the store,” you correct him. 

“Not nearly as bad unless I’m in the sky.” 

“Jake, honey.” He shushes you, pecking your nose then your lips. “Go to the bathroom.” 

“It takes me a minute so be patient.” You enter the bathroom and close the door, your eyes land on the cologne. “Hey.” 

“Yeah?” He leans against the wall besides the door. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine. Add your cologne to the list before I forget again.” 

“I’ve already added it.” 

“You did?” 

“Yep. We went through this last week.” 

“This baby is messing with my brain.” 

“Little bit.” 

“You’re supposed to say, ‘no honey. You’re alright. I think you’re still the smartest person I know.’ That is what you’re supposed to say.” 

He doesn’t respond for a minute. 

You start washing your hands. 

He opens the door, “you told me never to lie to you.” 

You scoff and try to throw the hand towel at him, only for him to catch it and pull you closer. 

“There are four adults’ downstairs with the kids… what do you say?” 

“I say, goodbye to your beautiful wife’s cuddling plus more and hello blue balls.” 

He groans into your neck. “Sweetheart.” 

“You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out.” 

“Fine.” 

-

The two of you walk downstairs and find the kids debating on what to watch with poor little Sarabeth looking confused in her Aunt Natasha’s lap. 

You sit down and let out a comforting sigh, you just need to lay back and sit down for a while honestly. 

Until there’s a knock at the sliding glass door. 

You all turn to see Billy looking like a sad puppy. 

Jake opens the door, letting him in. 

“What were you doing out there?” You ask. 

“These two,” he glances over at the two snickering grown men. He claps the sides of his clenched fists together (like Ross in friends). 

The adults understand his code and nod for him to continue. 

“Told me we should try to sneak in like the action or spy movies but then they decided not to and “forgot” to tell me.” 

“That doesn’t explain the leaves,” Jake points out as he pulls one out of his hair. 

Billy lowers his head, “I tripped and landed in a bush.” 

You and Natasha have the courtesy to pretend like you’re not laughing unlike the guys. 

“We told you… to stop,” Javy wheezes, pausing to try and catch his breath only to laugh harder so tears stream down his cheeks. 

“It’s not funny and no you didn’t.” 

Bob removes his glasses, wiping away his fallen tears. He turns, looking over at his fellow former graduate. 

“Are you sure?” 

He frantically nods his head, “I would know.” 

“Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up the best you can. If you need clothes, you know where to look.” 

He nods, offering a small smile as he walks over to you. “Thank you, to the only nice person here,” he says making sure they can all hear him. He pecks your cheeks and heads towards the bathroom. 

“You all are doing mean.” 

“Don’t be like that,” Jake squats in front of you. “We’re just jokin’, you know that.” He sits down and grabs your foot, giving you a much-needed foot massage. 

You close your eyes and sigh out a breath of relief. 

“Looks like someone’s enjoying themselves,” Bradley comments. 

“If you knew what it felt like to get a foot massage from him, you’d be zoned out too. But you haven’t and won’t.” You stretch your arms out in front of you, “now pretend I’m hugging him.” You drop your arms, rubbing your belly with a smile. “Is he kicking?” You look at him with a raised brow, “she is. She likes it when you take care of her mama.” 

“Then he should be happy all the time then.” 

“Ignoring that,” Natasha adds. She slowly reaches over. 

You grab her hand, hauling her over towards you. “Come here.” You grab her hand and place it on your belly. 

“I feel like you’ve felt his kicks more than I have.” 

“I’m her favorite aunt.” 

“He doesn’t have one.” 

“Yes, she does.” 

“Not after today.” 

“Would you two stop it,” you jerk your foot in his grasp. “Now is not the time to be acting like children.” 

“But-” They both try to respond. 

You shake your head, “no.” 

“No, but-” 

You wave your finger side-to-side. 

They try again and fail. 

“Would you two can it, we’re trying to watch a movie here,” Bradley hisses as he sprawls out on his stomach. 

The two mimic what he said. 

You tilt your head with tired eyes being the only thing to give your emotions away. 

They apologize and continue with what they were doing before. 

You lean back, eyes closing, listening to the movie and everyone’s quiet comments here and there before sleep consumes you. 

Jake shoves Natasha off to the side, forcing her to give him room to snuggle into your side. 

Your body automatically moving to mold with is.

-

Taglist: @abaker74​ @ebonyhogan24 @ @shanimallina87 @starkleila​ @kurtkunkle17

[chromotps]

YOU MENTIONED ACELU MODERN/GANG AU. but what about — I know it’s cursed but please listen — supernatural AU? I don’t mean like the entire thing (monster hunting maybe, but not the entire angel/demons plot) but just consider the vibes of the first two seasons?? The “road-trip” thing. Struggling to get by (I’m such a huge sucker for “Ace struggling to make ends meet but he always makes sure Luffy gets food and clothes even if it means he’s not eating as much himself”-dynamic in modern AUs. God). Sleeping in shitty motels + having to share the bed more often than not. Taking care of each other’s wounds in dimly-lit, dirty bathrooms. The general, ever-present worry of how things are going to be in the future or the terrifying scenario when one of them doesn’t make it (except Ace just worries about Luffy, bc of course he doesn’t consider a future where he lives and Luffy doesn’t. Neither of them can think about it too long either way bc it makes their brains shut down). They’re blood-brothers, they think of each other like that, they call each other that except. Taking physical comfort from each other is also a thing, because that’s what they’ve been doing all their lives, because there’s always been just them, and it’s all they ever had. They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this, and it doesn’t feel the same with anyone else (mostly on Ace’s side, because he did try — with barmaids, waitresses, men in shady bars, because he felt responsible for Luffy’s upbringing and well-being and it felt like an older sibling thing to set and maintain appropriate boundaries. But nothing ever compared to Luffy, even in the slightest). Both of them having to play so many social roles they kind of start blending into one another (because again, there was never really anyone around long enough to fill them in for them) - bc yeah they’re siblings, but. They’re also friends except it goes way beyond that. Ace, as the older one, has been Luffy’s caretaker too, he had to think and plan ahead for them both. But there were times when Ace was hurt they the caretaking role became reversed and Luffy had to take on all the responsibilities, until Ace recovered. Obviously none of it is how a healthy sibling relationship should look like, but god, I’m just soooo weak for the developing co-dependency, especially in scenarios where clearly unhealthy/potentially harmful behavior becomes a source of physical/emotional comfort (and tbh I’m pretty sure it also translates well into in-canon Ace/Lu because they didn’t really have anyone else either, for a couple of years in their lives. And Luffy needs social interaction like he needs food and sleep).

Oh man, anon, I was shipping and reading smut for Wincest like WILD back in the day, so. This AU is perfect. I'm eating up all the details of it just being the two of them, and a car, and a map. On a good day they'll get to jam out to music for a few hours on the road before pulling into a diner, and Ace splurges on treating him and Luffy to a meal of steak, burgers, shakes and pie.

But on a bad day. They get out of a rough fight, Ace with a nasty gash down his chest but they can't get help between all their papers being forged and being wanted for a crime they were framed for anyway. So for once Luffy drives them back to the motel, and sets Ace up in the tiny bathroom tub to clean out the wound and patch it up. The whole time they're just quietly saying stuff to each other like "thank you. you didn't have to take that hit for me. it saved my life" and "you're the only reason i do any of this. nothing else matters." "you matter. it's always been just you and me, right? what would I do without you?" and then... idk MaybeTheyHave"Thank God You're Alive"Sex or something who can say?? you know???

but omg yeah I LIVE for some codependency in my ships. I do have this weird thing where whenever I write headcanons it's like I'm in denial. like, I can't totally commit to calling it unhealthy even though it totally is, bc.... they're happy together!! Maybe they learn to accept help when they need it from some kind of Uncle Bobby figure (Jinbei?? Rayleigh??). but when it comes down to it, they only really care about staying with each other and keeping their brother safe.

I'm not really sure what's up with me today but I'm sort of in a horny mood so. I'm still thinking about what you typed with "They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this," and I know you probably meant literal sleeping together. But I love thinking about the slippery slope Ace and Luffy took in the AU from "pressing each other close for comfort when they're shaken" to "Luffy noticing how good it feels when Ace holds him and Ace unable to stop his eyes from lingering on Luffy's lips" to "one time in the dead of night in the hotel, their breaths are mingling and their mouths are almost touching until, it isn't 'almost' anymore. and then somehow ace is on top of luffy and the orange glow of the streetlight outside is falling on where their arms are wrapped around each other. and even though that night should have been shocking, what they can't admit out loud is that it felt completely natural. it's just another part of everything that they are to each other, and no one else needs to understand this, either."

ANYWAY UH I can. talk about other aspects of this AU since I'm sure there were other things you meant to focus on but uh. I was in a mood. oops!

[raphmona]

How did Ramona become your favorite ship and how did you become a hardcore Ramona shipper?

I guess it was just instinct. I knew I found something special when I came across RaMona and my love for it just grew as the years went on.

It all started when I was watching one of Black Nerd Comedy’s TMNT videos on YouTube. He was doing a ninja turtles Q&A and someone asked him if he would ever like to see Mona Lisa in the 2012 series. He agreed that Mona should return and called her “Raphael’s lady”.

Note: This was in March 2014, over a year before Mona Lisa was introduced in the 2012 show in November 2015

I was very new to TMNT at this time, with the 2012 series being my introduction, so I had very little knowledge of the franchise and other versions, but I was a sucker for romance side plots and my curiosity was peaked. So I did some digging on YouTube and found the 1987 episode “Raphael Meets His Match” and I watched it. This was my very first episode I ever watched of the 87 series and I fell in love with Mona Lisa and especially her relationship with Raph. I loved how well her personality clashed with Raph, snarky stubborn sass with even more snarky stubborn sass. I squealed when she called him a doll and kissed his cheek. Him assuring her that he thinks she’s beautiful warmed my heart and them reuniting by the end of the episode was so sweet. You can image my disappointment when I learned that was her ONLY episode and she never came back. So I relied on fanart and fan comics of her, hopefully waiting for the return of this ship.

For those who don’t know, back when the 2012 series was running there were A LOT of fans who would constantly email/DM the producers and writers of the show on social media, asking them to bring Mona Lisa into the 2012 series. I will admit I was one of those fans 😅 I never harassed them like other fans did, but I do remember commenting on their instagram post regarding the topic once or twice.

Also funny fact, apparently Sean Astin (2012 Raph’s voice actor) was also one of those people. He constantly kept on asking Branden and Ciro (the producers) when Raph was going to get a love interest, cause he saw every other turtle get a GF except Raph. Angry turtles need love too! XD

Fast forward to August 2015, San Diego Comic Con, at a TMNT 2012 panel, they announce that Mona Lisa will be coming to the series in the upcoming season 4 as a warrior from an alien planet. I fangirled so hard that night when I watched the panel on YouTube! I was squealing so loud and dancing around my bedroom! I was so happy I started to cry! My OTP was finally returning!

It was 2012 RaMona that sealed the deal for me. After watching their first episode “The Moons of Thalos 3”, I fell in love with them. Raph falling for her because she punched him in the face is both hilarious and adorable, and also (strangely) very in character for him. His “what a woman” line made me squeal in excitement. Their first kiss, I couldn’t help but cheer. I didn’t care about any other ship except for them. To actually see a happy healthy couple with little to no problems in this series was a breath of fresh air. I never cared for Apritello, Leor*i I was questioning (that’s a whole different can of worms I’m not getting into now), I didn’t care for Capril, and though I liked Renetangelo I wasn’t crazy for them. The more Mona appeared in the show the more my love for the ship grew. Them constantly flirting or making out in the middle of battle, how trusting they are of each other, how supportive they are of each other in combat, and even their biggest road bump with Lord Dregg they were able to over come, with the cherry of that episode being Mona confessing her love to Raph. Even when back on Earth, Raph still thinks about her, loves her and stays loyal to her. In truth, Mona made Raph a better man. Them reuniting in season 5 kinda leaves us with an open book because now we get to decide what happens with them now that they are on Earth together. I just know from the look they gave each other at the end of the episode as they held each other in their arms that they will be living happily ever after 🥰

We only ever see this ship in a hand full of episodes in the 2012 series, but it was enough to show me and the audience how happy and healthy this couple is compare to the other ships. I love them. I adore them. I want a relationship like theirs one day. I wanna find my Raph to my Mona. I want to continue to see this ship in other versions of TMNT in the future!

I will stand proud and say that I am the captain of the Raph x Mona Lisa ship! 🫡💞

[chrisbitchtree]

The Laws of Attraction

My fill for Day 1 of @harringrove-flip-reverse-it!

Prompt - SFW - School Project

2k - Rated E

***

“How’s that for chemistry, Harrington?” Billy asked, on the edge of a moan. Steve laughed, grasping Billy tighter and stroking faster, eliciting another deep moan from the blonde. “Too bad we can’t write about this for our paper. I’m sure we’d get an A+.”

***

It had all started when Steve had missed his Intro to Human Sexuality class three weeks before. Steve never gets sick. It’s his thing, and he’s weirdly proud of it. Healthy as a horse, with an immune system so strong that the pediatrician would joke that Steve should be studied by science every time he went in for a checkup. Steve would laugh long after the joke got old so he could always be sure the doctor would offer him his favourite sucker, a blue one, at the end of the appointment, after his reflexes were checked and the ice-cold stethoscope was pressed to his chest.

Being so healthy meant that Steve had to get really good at faking colds and flues so he could stay home and eat soup and crackers and watch either game shows, soap operas, or 80s sitcom reruns, depending on which nanny his parents had employed at the time.

Once Steve had started high school and his parents felt that he was past the point of needing a nanny to care for him while they were away and could always reach him on his cellphone if they needed to anyway, he was able to drop the sick act and just ditch school instead. Nobody was going to go to the trouble of tracking down his parents to bother them with the news that their son wasn’t in class that day.

It had gotten even easier once Steve had gone away to college. He would pick and choose what classes he felt like attending and didn’t need to answer to anyone as long as he kept his grades up.

But of course, the first time in his entire life that Steve was too sick to go to school, struck down by food poisoning from some questionable Chinese leftovers he’d found in the mini fridge he kept next to his dorm room bed and used like a fridge, unable to do anything except either puke or lay on the floor next to the toilet waiting to puke again, shivering, and shaking and wishing he was dead, refusing when his floormates tried to offer help. He just had to puke it out.

Finally, at about 8pm, he was feeling slightly better and like the illness had finally run its course. He dragged himself back to bed and curled up in a ball, picking up his phone from where he’d tossed it in the sheets when he’d run for the bathroom and checking his missed notifications.

He had a couple texts from Robin, updating him on all the Hawkins High gossip he was missing out on, and a whole string of them from Dustin that had gotten increasingly frantic as the day had gone on, but the ones that stood out were from Nancy, who of course had ended up at the same school as him, even sharing some of his classes. They’d talked on occasion since breaking up in the fall of their senior year, but it was usually only if they had something important to tell each other so he clicked on hers first.

Nancy – 11:12am: Steve, are you skipping health class again? I heard what Ms. Johnson said to you the other day about your attendance!

Nancy – 11:22am: Partners are being assigned for the huge project in Human Sexuality today. If you don’t get here soon, you might be stuck with Billy. He’s not here today either.

Nancy – 12:37pm: I’m sorry, Steve, you’re going to have to work with Billy. Your topic is chemistry and attraction.

Steve groaned. Just his luck, the one time he’s actually sick, something like this actually happens. He’d done his best to avoid Hargrove since their big fight at the Byers’ the fall of their senior year of high school, as much as you can avoid someone in a town as small as Hawkins, where there was one high school with one basketball team that they both played on.

He’d counted down the days until he was free and could make a fresh start, only to find out that it wouldn’t just be Nancy at his new school, Billy Hargrove would be there too. And then the first day of Human Sexuality, there were both Billy and Nancy, on opposite sides of the front row.

Steve does his best to pretend that Billy’s not there, tamping down an attraction that’s been there since the moment he laid eyes on the other boy. Billy hadn’t confirmed nor denied his sexual preferences since he’d come crashing into Hawkins with his stepmom and stepsister, Max, to be closer to Max’s grandparents after Billy’s dad had died that summer, but if the rumours were true, Billy happily slept with anything on two legs.

Steve doesn’t judge, has no room to, considering how many girls he’s slept with. But that was before Nancy. Since his time with her, he’s been a relationship guy, someone who wants heavy commitment, and Billy just doesn’t seem like that type of guy, so Steve pushes his feelings down, ignoring them in favour of finding someone he could have a relationship with.

 Now though, Steve had no choice but to spend time with Billy. A lot of it, considering that the project was worth half their grade. And of course, of all the possible topics, they got chemistry.

***

For the first few weeks that they met with each other to work on the project, they kept their conversations strictly school related, at Steve’s behest, both because Steve didn’t want to end up down a road he wasn’t prepared for with Billy, and because success in academics didn’t come easily to Steve like it did to Billy. Steve needed a good grade in this class, so he had to stay focused and work hard.

They divvied up the research, Billy focusing on attraction while Steve worked on compatibility. It was coming along good until they met to discuss their findings and work on their thesis topic. They were in Steve’s dorm room, Steve at his desk, and Billy sprawled out on Steve’s bed.

He had his textbook open and upside down across his stomach and his arms crossed behind his head. His white t-shirt was riding up, exposing a strip of flesh between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his jeans, and Steve wanted to pull the shirt up, expose him, lick and kiss and nip his way up to Billy’s mouth, wanted to pull the backwards baseball cap off his head and sink his hands into Billy’s curls.

“Hey, Harrington, have you ever thought about whether we have chemistry?” Billy asked. For all his usual bravado, the question came out of his mouth quietly, as if he wasn’t even sure if he wanted Steve to hear him ask it.

Steve looks up, meeting his eye, and he’s giving Steve a look that’s equal parts considering and wanting, his eyes dark. They travel down the length of Steve’s body and back up again, and Steve can’t remember the last time he felt so seen, so wanted.

“What if I have?” he replies, trying for breezy, and failing miserably. He’s way too into this, and it’s showing all over his face.

“Come over here and tell me what you’ve thought about,” Billy says, sitting up and patting the bed beside him.

Steve closes his laptop and takes the few steps to his small bed. He sits next to Billy, their bodies pressed together from head to toe. Steve rubs his knees nervously, trying to wipe some of the sweat off as he psyches himself up to kiss Billy.

He doesn’t have a chance to before Billy turns to him, slipping a hand into the back of Steve’s hair and cupping the back of his skull. Billy pulls him in for a kiss that’s surprisingly tender, as deep and searching as it is.

They stay like that for a long time, exploring each other’s mouths with their tongues, getting familiar with each other in a way Steve’s only previously dreamed of. Finally, they pull back to catch their breath, and Billy gives him a dopey grin before leaning in to nip and suck at Steve’s earlobe. He lets out a loud moan at the contact, too turned on to be embarrassed by the sound.

“Like that, don’t you, pretty boy?” Billy asks, rhetorically, before returning to the task.

Unsure of what to do, Steve slides his hands up under Billy’s t-shirt, exploring the planes of his stomach and the pecs that were the driving force behind most of his senior year jerk off fantasies. And god, they feel just as good as he thought they would, soft and pillowy, but firm at the exact same time. He’s in heaven.

“Can I give you a hand, Harrington?” Billy asks, hand hovering over the button on Steve’s jeans.

“Yes, yeah. Can I, you, uh,” Steve replies, barely able to get the words out, motioning gracelessly at Billy’s own jeans, and Billy undoes the button on Steve’s jeans and unzips his fly. Steve stands and pulls his jeans and boxers down to his knees as Billy undoes his own pants and pulls them down.

Billy pulls him back into a kiss for a minute before pulling away again.

“You got lube in here?” he asks, even as he leans over and pulls a bottle out of Steve’s bedside table drawer. He squirts some on his own and doles out some to Steve before dropping it into the sheets.

They grasp each other in their slicked up hands, and holy shit, Steve’s not going to ask long. It feels too amazing to finally have Billy’s hands on him. If the little whimpers and gasps coming out of Billy’s mouth are anything to go by, he’s not going to last long either.

They stroke each other at a fast pace as Steve tries to see how many hickeys, he can give Billy before they both cum. Three’s the magic number, then Billy’s bucking into Steve’s grasp, and Steve’s doing the same for him, then they’re coming all over each other’s hands and stomachs, gasping into each other’s mouths as they come down from their shared high.

***

They’re laying in bed after, sweaty and panting, Billy starfished out over Steve’s body, with his boxers pulled up but his jeans kicked off onto the floor, a heavy, reassuring weight. When Steve used to fantasize about this moment, he always pictured Billy to be the kind of guy that would hook up and run, but if anything, he seems to be settling in, using Steve’s chest like a pillow, and twining their legs together. It’s exactly what Steve would have asked for if he could decide how this would go. It’s nice, it’s sweet, and Steve could get used to it.

“So, Harrington,” Billy says, his voice quiet but rough, probably from how deep he took Steve’s cock into his mouth. “Do you think we should add this to the paper? Maybe we’ll get extra credit for doing hands on research.”

Steve snorts, swatting him. “As much as I could use the extra points, I think I want to keep this all to myself.”