#a barn swallow's diary

[xelidonia]

why is "I kissed a girl" so aggressively straight??? like she really bends over backwards to talk about how strange and weird and unnatural she finds the experience

[navybrat817]

The Dad Diaries: Grief

Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky explains grief to Jamie as best as he can when you need a minute to yourself. Word Count: Over 1.2k Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, touch of fluff, grief, loss of a friend, reflecting, talk of death, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?). A/N: Another part to the The Dad Diaries . Hope you lovelies enjoy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky could hear your cries before he reached the bedroom, the sound causing a lump to form in his throat. He could picture you hastily wiping at your face when he knocked. You were in pain and it hurt him to know you were hurting. The worst part was that it wasn’t the kind of pain he could fix by patching it up. It was the kind of hurt that lingered beneath the surface before it clawed its way out.

Grief.

“Do you need anything, doll?” He asked.

“Just give me a minute, please!” You called out, your voice close to sounding like your normal self. You were trying your best to be strong when what you needed was a moment to break. People didn’t realize the weight of the things they carried until they buckled under them.

And you didn’t need to be strong all the time.

“Mama?” Jamie asked, reaching a hand out toward the door.

Bucky kissed the top of his head. “Mama needs a minute,” he whispered before he held him against his chest. He hoped his smell and steady heart beat soothed him. “She’ll snuggle up with you soon, okay?”

If anything could make you feel better apart from being in his arms, it was having your son nuzzle against you.

Jamie made a small sound, his lower lip trembling. “Mama,” he said again.

Bucky didn’t take it to heart that his son wanted you. He understood that there were days when he’d want his dad and other days he’d want his mom and times when he’d want both of you. If anything, he felt proud that his son wanted to go to you. Maybe he sensed that you needed support and love.

“I know you want your mama,” he said, carrying him back to the living room. “But you are stuck with me for another minute.”

Jamie moved his head, his eyes set in a stubborn stare. He looked so much like you at that moment, demanding with a look to know what was the matter and how to fix it. What could he say?

“Jamie, you know how you have your Uncle Steve and Uncle Sam and Aunt Nat and everyone else?” He asked, a sad smile touching his lips at the happy look in his little boy’s eyes at the mention of his friends. He wanted his child to hold onto that innocence for as long as he could. “Well, your mama had a friend who was going to be like an aunt to you, too.”

Was. Past tense. Because your friend recently passed away. You wondered if she knew how important she was to you. If she knew how she impacted your life. She was too young in your eyes to go. Still had so many things she wanted to do. While death is fair in that it comes for everyone, it doesn’t always feel fair when someone you care for is taken away too soon.

The one thing you were thankful for was that she was no longer in pain.

“Mama’s friend, your aunt, isn’t here anymore. She misses her and she’s sad that she’s gone.”

“Mama sad?” Jamie repeated, his eyes wide.

“Yeah, Nugget. She’s very sad. Grieving. And grief is… so many things,” Bucky explained, swallowing a bit as he felt a crack in his heart. “It’s loss and mourning. It’s love that you carry inside and it no longer has a place to go.”

Jamie gazed at him, soaking up every word. His son was too young to hear something like this. Too precious. But if life taught him anything, it’s that it was too short and there was no guarantee of tomorrow.

“Some days the grief comes out of nowhere. You never really know when it’ll happen or why. You may hear a song you’ve heard dozens of times before or catch a scent of something familiar and it triggers a memory or feeling,” he told him, kissing his forehead again because he needed to ground himself. “You think you’re fine and then you fall apart.”

That was exactly what had happened a few minutes prior. You were smiling one moment as the three of you sat in the living room and the next you burst into tears before you rushed out. Bucky wished like hell he could’ve manifested your sadness into something tangible so he could snuff it out. It wasn’t his battle to fight, but he could be by your side to wipe the tears away if you let him. Or whisper words of care. Or to say nothing at all. Some didn’t always want to hear words of comfort or hope when they just needed to feel.

He would be there to give you whatever you needed or asked for.

“It’s okay to feel those feelings, Jamie. I get sad, too. There’s no timeline for healing or grieving. It takes as long as it takes. And we’re lucky in a way to feel things so strongly,” he told him. You were always understanding and patient on his off days. He more than lucked out by having you as his wife. “You know what your Uncle Vis says grief is? That it’s love persevering,” he added, bouncing him a bit to make him smile. It put a smile on his face, too. “And your mama has so much love to give.”

“So do you.”

Bucky looked toward the doorway where you stood. Bloodshot and puffy eyes, but with a small smile on your beautiful face. He wanted to hold you and remind you that you weren’t alone. “Hey,” he said as Jamie reached for you. “I think he wants to cheer you up.”

“Is that right? Well, I think a snuggle with my boys is just the thing I need,” you said as you took a seat beside Bucky and took Jamie into your arms. “Sorry I rushed off like that.”

“Don’t be,” Bucky whispered. He had plenty of moments where he needed to step away and compose himself when his thoughts got too loud. “We just want you to be okay,” he added, kissing your temple before Jamie grabbed your face.

“Mama no sad,” he said, forcing your cheeks up in a smile. The sight almost brought tears to Bucky’s eyes because it was so simple and heartfelt. “No sad.”

You giggled, a soft sound, before it erupted into full blown laughter. It soothed the crack he felt earlier in his heart. The room felt brighter, especially when Jamie joined in with the laughter. “Not sad, Nugget,” you assured him before you looked at your husband, love shining through like always. “Not anymore.”

The grief from your loss would come again in waves. Just like the days Bucky mourned the parts of his life he lost and couldn’t get back. Some days were harder than others, especially when regret and “what if’s” came to mind, but the important thing was that neither of you allowed yourselves to live alone or lose yourselves in grief. Not when there was so much to be thankful for.

You felt what you needed to feel. You asked for help and leaned on each other. And you carried on together.

Because what is grief, if not love persevering?

I lost more than one loved one recently and writing this helped me process some of the loss. We all need someone like Bucky. Love and thanks for reading. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[ronearoundblindly]

Time and Tines (2/3)

Reasons (see previous or series)

Steve Rogers x Villain!Reader

Summary: With the Winter Soldier on your side, Steve races against time to figure out why...and how to stop you.

Warnings for basically DARKFIC: talk of unspecified terminal illness, medical malpractice, gaslighting, revenge, gun violence, not overly graphic death but still death (not of Reader, Steve, or Bucky), and decidedly too-little editing. MINORS DNI. There's plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this isn't for you! WC 5242 (which is, yeah, way longer than it was supposed to be)

Steve will do anything to avoid a fire fight with the Winter Soldier. There are too many people involved now, and he has to approach this situation delicately from all angles.

Steve just does not understand yet.

After hours waiting with agents in the dark of Doctor Avani’s house, convinced you’ve ordered Bucky to come right over and kill the man with brute force, nothing happened. There was no sign of anyone. Steve has to try something else.

A small army protects Salvatore while he searches your apartment. If the key to activating his friend is here, he needs to find it, destroy that information, and get a handle on why this is happening.

“This can’t be right,” Steve mutters, pushing past Agent Palmer (who drove) for a better look. “It’s too clean.”

Your one-bedroom would pass a white-glove test.

There’s so little…everything. It’s a far cry from the chaos Steve woke to find in the police station. His head throbs at the memory. He forgot what it was like to have his bell good’n’rung.

“Supe says she’s been selling off furniture,” Palmer calls from the doorway, “but he thought it was replaced. Boxes kept coming.”

Steve inventories a mattress with no frame, half a dozen hanging garments, no shoes. What were you buying? Where did it all go?

The desktop is bare. You’ve taken any laptop with you, it seems. That’s a small comfort. You clearly planned contingencies for your attack andor escape; it’s fitting you had the foresight to hide your research on the Winter Soldier.

Steve is still scared, however, because he sat with Bucky many times, listening to horrible tales of being trapped in his own mind, powerless, isolated in the midst of everyone, unable to control thoughts much less actions.

This one’s gonna take a few more beers for the friends to contend with, but with any luck and quick work, they’ll get through without bloodshed. He and Bucky will decompress somewhere peaceful. It’ll be okay.

He hopes.

Steve scans the lone bookshelf. The most curious edition is a history book about WWII, a few flagged pages open to reveal passages about Bucky’s service record, an underline beneath the location where the sergeant fell from the train, and a mail receipt for an address on Forsythe Avenue keeping your page. That’s all.

It’s not even a unique read. The book isn’t any more specific than an average school text. No other notes are made in the margins, so Steve turns the book upside-down and shakes, hoping for something to fall out. He rips the other books from the shelf and shuffles their pages until a picture comes loose—a polaroid of three women.

You’re on the right, fuller faced but it’s you. On the back is scrawled “the girls” with hearts on either side.

The book is handwritten, no label on the cover or spine, only an embossed mandala design. Steve’s stomach drops, but he opens to the front flap.

Property of Faith Williams

He swallows roughly and closes it, unable to step over that line of privacy. At the moment, he needs evidence of where you could have taken Bucky, and slow-reading someone else’s diary won’t give him that.

Forsythe Avenue might, but that’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. 

Steve checks a different unlabeled book, but it, too, doesn’t have your name inside, just a ‘Z’ fancifully drawn amidst doodles.

Damnit. This is no help.

“Palmer, you finding anything?”

“No, Cap. Bills all paid. Nothing under the mattress. No mention of Barnes on any papers in the drawers. Not even a Cyrillic symbol.”

No trace, just like how you two disappeared from surveillance.

Steve shuts his eyes, head still throbbing from how hard the Soldier landed a blow to knock him out.

The agent wanders through the tiny kitchen. “Fridge is empty. Doesn’t look like she intended to come back here…if…actually, it looks like she barely ate. No condiments, no spices, nothing.”

“How long has she rented here?”

“Over two years.”

Shit. This is a dead end.

“Keep looking,” Steve orders, but he takes the two journals and heads for the car, pulling up your thin file again. You don’t hold any clearances or a government footprint. You were let go of from your last job with a severance package. Nothing overly generous. No medical leave mentioned. Benefits, including health insurance, would be intact. Based on your appearance earlier versus you in the photo, Steve chews on a few wisps of theories, but it’s not solid proof. Without more, Steve has no leads.

“Friday, any connection to properties on Forsythe?”

He adjusts to get comfortable in the back seat of the SUV alone, firing up a view screen.

There’s a low, sad sound that means the AI found nothing in your records.

"For her or him?"

Womp womp, it comes again.

Steve lets out a tense breath, “Where are we with bank statements?”

“Authorizations just came back,” F.R.I.D.A.Y chirps.

“What about medical records?”

“That one’s a lot harder, Captain Rogers. We have to—“

“Just analyze the financials first,” Steve sighs. His head throbs again, and he knows he needs sleep. There’s no time though. If he could just get answers…

Protections exist, of course, for good reason, but Steve feels the frustration of any detective. He’s trying to find a bad guy, and by 'bad guy,' he means you, not the man you’ve taken, not the man you are certainly going to order to kill for you.

Steve rests his head on the chilly glass and pinches his eyes shut. He’ll take a minute, review the money trail, and then interview the doctor. It seems a miracle that man was able to go home to his wife and sleep, even with security inside the room, down every hall, surrounding the house…Steve wouldn’t do it; he can’t even keep his eyes closed long enough for the dry sting to subside.

How could he be so stupid?

You weren’t staring at him from across the room; you were watching your mark, waiting for an opening. Sadly, it occurs to Steve that if he’d just let you inject Avani, Bucky would be fine, here by his side, and safe.

You are the threat, not his friend, but that’s a hard distinction. If anyone else sees James Barnes—who is the stealth assassin Winter Soldier, as far as they know—they’ll shoot. No questions. Steve has to find him first. He has to get to you first.

Bucky is compromised, but Steve won’t let it come to that. Buck shouldn't do anything he doesn't want to do just because some enemy hijacked his mind and body.

“Feel better?” You twirl in the chair as soon as the motel bathroom door opens, steam billowing out.

Winter’s face is shadowed, pointed to the floor.

“Or…at least, okay? Here—“ you offer the seat next to you at the tiny table “—sit. Eat. Let me—I’ve got bandages for your knuckles.”

“Heals,” he grunts, sitting easily but with stiff posture, “fast.”

You let out a heavy breath, muttering, “makes one of us.”

The soldier reaches out for the file in front of you, but your hand pins it down.

“Uh-uh. Food first, and palm up here, please.” You wait for him to flip open the takeout container then blot antiseptic on the split skin. “Does that hurt?”

He shakes his head, focused on the meal before him.

Several months ago, an article was published about Bucky Barnes’ affinity for this one particular deli in Brooklyn, a third-generation shop. It listed his usual order.

You’ve made sure the bread isn’t soggy. You kept the spicy mustard on the side.

He makes a strange face, looking around for your portion.

“Not hungry,” you assure him, “I’m rarely hungry.” You secure the bandage like boxing wraps and spin the file around.

“Eat your food—” The command is soft, encouraging. “—while I tell you the story of how we ended up here.”

Buried in the file you’ve put in front of the Soldier is several lifetimes of horror. Maybe not everyone agrees with you, maybe not everyone cares, but that bastard Avani has to atone. For the next hour, you explain what’s expected of him, glancing every so often at the fancier hotel entrance across the street from your motel room.

It’s too early; you’d be very impressed if the Captain had followed those bread crumbs yet.

You planned so carefully for every obstacle. You anticipated so many setbacks. Men like Avani go down like great stone pyramids, not houses of cards, because their lives are built with safeties.  For him to fall, a thousand others have to be damaged, and each one of them will put up a fight to remain untarnished. That approach—the truth, and nothing but the truth—has gotten you nowhere. Diaries aren’t enough proof. The placebo effect is not a crime. Two women are worth far less than a functional, marketable drug.

Plus, they’re two dead women. The pyramid is now their tomb. Nothing ever changes.

No.

You alone cannot topple a pyramid. You’re too far gone. You’re just one person. For justice, you have to go straight to the top, to the man himself. One on one.

Well, one on one-plus-one. Your addition is the sharp-shooter who can get you the top, the target, Doctor Avani.

Winter’s mission is very simple, but he’s thorough, asking all the right questions, thinking of all the right options. You knew he would be perfect.

“Now,” you clap at the end of your story, rubbing boney hands together, “a rundown of my meds. Sound good?” You grab a zippered case from the foot of the motel bed. “Nothing complicated, but here—“ nudging out a syringe and one glass vial “—this is the emergency one. Use 10 milliliters of this if I pass out. Got it?”

The Soldier takes an enormous mouthful of his sandwich and nods, eyes flickering back to that single bed.

You smile sadly. “I…rarely sleep. I’m keeping watch for now. You’re safe. You’ll need the rest.”

He chews and adds more mustard before his last bite.

“Okay? Good.” Your smile fades, fatigue and restlessness swirling in your empty gut as you remove another medication. “Next is this one. Every four hours, twent—wait, no, I’m up to thirty CCs now…”

“Sir,” Steve grits out with far less patience than he intended, pinching the bridge of his nose as if it will stop the throbbing inside his head, “you realize I am trying to save your life?”

Dr. Avani purses his lips in annoyance. “And you realize I am required to keep my patients’ confidence, right?”

Yes, Steve thinks, he’s said that several times.

“Are they current or former patients?” Steve tries to clarify.

So far, Salvatore slipped up only once. When Steve showed him the photo from your apartment, the doctor muttered something about ‘Faith’ and ‘Ziva’ knowing each other, looking confused, then immediately shut down.

Steve has to switch tactics. He doesn’t have time for this.

“Ok. We found over a dozen hotel reservations made with your assailant’s credit card, so look at this list—” Steve taps the smart screen to lay out a map with the names highlighted “—and see if anything stands out.”

“What have this crazy woman’s travel plans to do with me?” Avani bites out, rattling the tea his wife hands him.

A tremor. Not unlike how your hands shook at the table last night. Steve wonders if yours was because you are ill or because you were lying to him.

“Darling, your blood pressure…”

Steve sighs sympathetically to Mrs. Avani. “Thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, taking the next cup and saucer and clearing his throat. “Doc, please. I’m just hoping you can narrow this down for me. We still have no motive.”

“Insanity. Jealousy, maybe!”

“Jealous of what? Do you know what she might want?”

No answer, but Avani chews his cheek, eyes wide, while staring northwest on the map of hotels. Steve files that away in his mind.

The doctor returns to sipping his tea. “Do you know what they call people obsessed with finding patterns in chaos?”

His wife drops the plate of biscuits unceremoniously down on the side table between the men’s chairs.

“Salvatore,” she snips with the same frustrated fatigue wrapped around Steve’s neck like an albatross, “behave.”

“No. None of these are familiar,” the doctor grunts.

Steve can’t accuse the man of lying unless he wants to risk an all-out breakdown in communication during this active threat, but he’s running out of options. He needs real information.

Usually Steve would have more respect for a man staying within the parameters of his vocation, but this is a unique and complicated situation. This is Bucky on the line. Steve’s had enough of secrets and red tape.

“Any idea why she’d mail something to Forsyth Avenue? Do you know anyone there?”

“Forsyth Avenue? No, I’ve never been in that area before, as far as I know.” Though Avani wrings his hands together, no indicates that’s a lie.

Wonderful. Steve’s never been this unsuccessful at gathering intel, and Avani’s status as the newly-appointed Avengers’ lead physician makes it tricky to push harder.

So Steve recommends Avani and his wife consider staying in a more secure location before he sets off to personally check the hotels in the northwest quadrant of the map.

He takes Agent Palmer, riding in the SUV while the two diaries sit in his lap, knowing now—as sure as he can be—that ‘Z’ is for Ziva, and she knew you and Faith Williams. Those are ‘the girls’ in the photo.

Without Ziva’s last name, he can’t do a general search, but there is a death certificate on file for Faith.

Three women. One confirmed dead. At least two ‘former’ patients of the doctor. All visibly ill in either the picture or in person. One mourning the loss of person(s) and out to kill the doctor.

The pit in his stomach grows. Something very bad is happening, yet while Steve has anything else to go on, he will not be reading another’s diary.

He can only hope that your medical records are finally available once the hotel searches are complete.

There’s even a possibility he’ll find Bucky at one of these. Maybe he won’t have to concern himself with the rest at all. Maybe he won’t have to think so hard about your motives for activating a Soviet sleeper agent.

Steve does think, however. He thinks hard enough to spiral as each reception desk is questioned, as all security footage is combed, as every building is cleared. He has to make some assumptions to make the pieces fit.

You believe Avani is responsible for your friends’ deaths—both of them, since when Steve interrogated you, you accepted his condolences—and believe their cause of death was whatever treatment Avani administered.

It’s sad, of course, but it happens everyday. Experimental treatments are just that. If you’re concerned about gross negligence, the doctor could easily be reported to the Medical Board. Considering the amount of research, forethought, and planning required, the Winter Soldier is one of the slowest possible solutions to your problem.

But…Bucky was just your contingency plan. You had an opportunity to kill Avani yourself, yet you still set other options in motion. You used a weapon theoretically deadly to only the doctor 

Steve still can’t understand, and it’s driving him nuts.

Finally, after the hotel reservations prove fruitless, Steve sees no other choice. He has to read the diaries.

He combs through the pages, growing nauseous as darker and darker layers of the situation reveal themselves, disturbed by everydetail except updates from the units on Forsyth Avenue or those stationed at the doctor’s house. Nothing is unfolding save the landscape in Steve’s mind.

He asks F.R.I.D.A.Y about the disease Faith and Ziva mention. He asks about the public records of the drug trial Avani lead and its results published just six months ago, after the last entries of the diaries. He notices the treatment was a huge success…for those not in the control group. Finally, he can’t continue.

His head pounds while his stomach churns.

In the early afternoon, Steve lays down to rest his eyes and reevaluate, but he’s met with only a blank  canvas and drifts to sleep instead.

He’s woken by a shrill ring of his phone.

“Yeah, Palmer, what’s—what? What do you mean he’s gone?” Steve jumps up, straps on his shield, and races to his bike. “The hell were you thinking letting him make a house call today? Where did agents—“

Steve’s foot slips right off bike for an instant.

“Avani led the driver to some suburban neighborhood. Forsythia Commons.”

It dawns of him just as the garage door squeals open.

Steve never showed Palmer the receipt. No one else saw the numbers to the address. Steve’s rattled brain finished the label with a street name he knew.

He was wrong.

Including battles in Germany way back in the day, he has rarely driven so recklessly, but Steve is nearly a half-hour behind now. He has to catch up.

Palmer tells him Avani went into the residence alone—for patient confidentiality—and after a while, agents couldn’t get an answer at the door. Upon forced entry, they found the woman who lived there bound to a chair with tape over her mouth and the doctor nowhere in sight.

Steve gets lucky.

On his way to exit the freeway, he notices a hole in the noise barrier wall past a slope of grass. He pulls over and asks Palmer what the backyard of the residence leads to, but Steve can hear the reverb of agent comms before anyone is visible through the brush.

“Friday, I need traffic camera footage from my location from thirty-five minutes ago. Were there any vehicles stopped on the side of the road?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers. A standard maintenance truck with the department’s logo shows up and leaves seven minutes later, based on ten second intervals.”

“The license plate, can you read it?”

“Quality insufficient.”

“The highway department, do they have any registered cars out here today?”

A long pause follows.

“Friday?” Steve barks.

“Negative, Captain. Inspection is slotted for the end of next week, not today.”

“Alright, follow that truck on the cameras. Tell me exactly where they went.”

He doesn’t bother to tell Palmer where he’s going because Steve doesn’t want them to know really. He needs a head start to find Bucky—to make sure it’s Bucky who is found and rescued, not the Soldier who is cornered and subdued.

The trail ends at a dilapidated office park near the river miles outside of the city. With his own, short fingernail, Steve peels away the Highway Department magnet slapped onto the white truck parked by one building.

Nobody else is in sight, and the truck cab is empty.

Across the nearest door is sun-shriveled lettering. “-alv—re Ava—, M.D” marks the third name in a list.

Steve doesn’t hesitate. He can’t. He walks right in, eyes adjusting to a cave-like darkness without electricity.

The voices are faint behind another set of double doors, but he hears them.

“I don’t owe you anything, bitch. I hope you die like they did.”

There’s a sharp slapping noise and someone spits loudly.

“Admit it. Admit what you did and you won’t die today.”

You don’t beg him to talk. You don’t plead with him. You sound weak but sure.

“Rot in hell,” Avani annunciates, and Steve flings himself through the doors, knowing what comes after such a taunt.

You give him every opportunity to come clean. He could save himself, but Avani refuses while the camera records behind you. He calls you names. He calls your friends worthless. He says they were ’whores,’ but you will still send him back to the correct authorities if he tells the truth.

He doesn’t, he won’t, and you’re honestly pleased this is how it ends.

You don’t have a choice really; you must honor Faith and Ziva somehow.

Instead of the truth, Avani curses you, though not much could be worse than your current fate, even with Winter standing a few feet away, his gun drawn.

You have readied the syringe in your unstable hand and lift it to the doctor’s throat when—crash—Captain America bursts in and scans the whole room.

“Don’t do it,” he tries plainly. “You don’t have to kill him.”

You’re impressed. That’s faster than you expected, but Steve is looking at his friend to stop, not you.

“Shoot him, you idiot,” the doctor snarls.

As if Winter thinks the order somehow applied to him, he turns toward an open palm and a raised shield.

“SHOOT HIM!”

Winter doesn’t move the gun away from you and Avani.

Steve steps closer. “Bucky,” he starts slowly, “I’m not going to do that. I’m not here to hurt you. No one has to die.”

You need to buy more time.

“Soldat, show him.”

Only then does Winter lower his pistol and reach into a pocket at his chest, revealing the tuning fork that controls his own mind. Doing this will forfeit your exit strategy, but you’ll accomplish you mission. Winter’s mission is now secondary.

Steve’s eyes flicker from the fork to you.

After a tense breath, you give the command, confident the soldier will obey, locking your focus on Steve.

“Fetch.”

Winter sprints to the other end of the room and explodes through a wall and then a window to the lawn banking the river.

Cap makes a choice, his sad blue eyes full of pity, and it’s then you realize he knows.

He read the diaries. He understands what Avani did.

Steve bolts after the Soldier.

The doctor shrieks for his Avenger to come back, to protect him from his earned fate, but the hollow thuds of a vibranium arm and a vibranium shield colliding hum through the hole in the building.

The sound of fighting continues as you return the syringe to Avani’s neck.

Enough. Enough excuses. Enough lies. Enough time has been wasted on this man already. Enough is enough.

The end is more peaceful than he deserves. It’s quick and not nearly as painful as it should be. There’s no time left for suffering.

Salvatore convulses after collapsing on the stained industrial carpet, foam gently dripping from his mouth, a symptom of his condition when mixed with a common resuscitative cocktail, one you have to take frequently, one that spiked Steve Rogers’ adrenaline and nothing more. It kills Avani. His heart nearly explodes in his chest.

If there was ever a human that medicine should fail…

You only know he’s susceptible because Ziva knew. Heart conditions and caring for them are the sort of thing one knows about a person they love.

Avani promised to marry her, to leave his wife, to be with her after the drug trial succeeded. He promised she’d live, but he told Ziva she was taking the real medicine, ensured she took the placebo, and then gaslit her until the day she died.

Ziva spent the rest of her life loving a man who would make her happy and healthy, but instead, Avani made her life as short as possible.

He was not even that kind to Faith.

In her own words, Faith wrote how dying scared her, how she begged the doctor for the actual medication, how she offered anything to get it. Avani accepted. Faith did whatever that bastard wanted for months, all the while told she was healing.

Relief never came.

Faith was bedridden when a package arrived for her—a diary willed to her by a friend she’d lost touch with once you three weren’t gathering in the same hospital suite for the old treatments. That’s when she put it together, but Ziva had passed two months prior. Faith lasted only four more days, just long enough to bequeath the two journals to you.

The victory doesn’t feel as euphoric as you expected. You thought somehow you’d know that Ziva and Faith were proud and at peace, but you’re just empty and tired.

You stare down at Adani’s body, unfazed, when the tuning fork slams against a dangling metal doorframe and Cap shuffles through the rubble.

He’s scraped and beaten which isn’t what you ever wanted, just a necessary evil to fight evil. He watches as Barnes walks in from the grass.

“It’s me, punk. You can put that thing down.”

Bucky doesn’t wait for Steve, snatching the prongs right from his hands and tucking it back in his jacket.

There’s a moment where they almost hug before Steve remembers the doctor and rushes to the man at your feet.

“Call for help! I'm starting CPR.”

Barnes simply holds your gaze.

More sad blue eyes. It brings you hope that he will complete his mission.

You step away from the others to make for a cleaner shot, nodding that it’s okay, breathing a rough but weak “please” for emphasis.

“Buck?” Steve looks up as Bucky points his gun at you again. “What are you doing? STOP. It’s over!”

“His mission was never to kill Avani,” you hiss, unable to take your eyes off the perfectly-centered muzzle directly in front of you. “He’s here to kill me.”

“The hell—“ Steve climbs to his feet “—why would you shoot her?”

“I’m not going to jail!”

“You know what they’ll do to her, Steve.”

Both men take one step closer.

“There has to be another way.”

“I did this because it’s the only—“

“—can understand doctors who taking advantage and manipulating their patients better than anyone—“

“Put the gun down!”

“Pull the trigger! It'll be—“

“—told me he could do better than me,” Bucky barks. “Doc said, to my face, that he could make a better me. He wanted to make soldiers, Steve. More soldiers. Avani didn’t give a shit about what was right.”

You jump in. “If you found the diaries, you know what he was capable of.”

“That’s not how this works. We don’t condemn a man from—“

This time you step toward Barnes. “Just do it. Shoot me now.”

Steve lunges to take your wrist in his hand, your limb comically thin and delicate beneath all his enhancements.

“She doesn’t deserve to rot while they sweep this under the rug,” Bucky adds, voice low and serious.

“This is for the best.” You look at Steve now, and something heartbreaking swims in those morose pools, something unspeakable.

His head shakes, dirty, sweaty hair falling in his face. “What if there’s another way?”

“I don’t want to be saved, Cap. Let me go.”

You offer one final, soft smile, and Steve moves just as Bucky pulls the trigger.

Steve completes his testimony before the panel opposite him. None of the questions are a surprise.

They’ve painted you as completely insane, demented, psychotic, and he can’t argue. What would he tell them? Yeah, but she had kind eyes, so, you know, remember her fondly? No, he can only remain quiet until he has something pertinent to add which is very little. Bucky had far more to offer, and he already spoke.

When Steve steps out of the counsel chambers, Maria Hill is waiting for him.

“Shame she ordered the Soldier to dispose of her body. Took the coward’s way out.”

“You make her sound like a rabid animal that had to be put down,” Steve grit out. 

“No, you’re right,” Hill admits, “but it was lucky she left the sound thing for—”

“Tuning fork,” he snaps, “which I destroyed. No one should have that. No one should even know about it.”

Buck does his best to calm Steve down with a heavy hand on his shoulder. “S’okay, pal. The interrogation footage has been wiped and unless someone with perfect pitch was walking by observation--”

“You know that’s not reassuring, right?”

The two huge men look at each other.

Steve finally mutters, “what about Avani’s widow?”

“All the blackmail sent to his mistress in Forsythia Commons was removed before Gloria even knew Sal was kidnapped, and I think it’s fair to say that lady is so grateful her name wasn’t dragged through the press that she won’t be bothering the wife. Good thing the doctor put her car and house in her name, or legally, this would get ugly.”

“Yes. We’re very lucky he was such a skilled adulterer,” Steve quips dryly. He regrets handing over the diaries for evidence. They weren’t mentioned once in any of the hearings.

Bucky flashes Steve a warning glare that reads, don’t start.

Hill obliviously flips through the folder in her hands, nodding. “All in all, this report amounts to an incredibly long lead-in of ‘use that PTO, boys!’ You earned it.”

“Understatement of the century…and I would know.” Bucky is a much better liar than Steve.

Thank god, they are fleeing to the middle of nowhere indefinitely.

Hill heads back to her office. “We’ll be here when you get back. Keep in touch.”

“No,” Steve counters. “I don’t think I will.”

Bucky and Steve leave in an old truck the next morning. They can’t seem rushed or impatient to get to their destination.

Casually accumulating supplies, Steve loads their bags in the flat bed with space for all repair materials they are likely to need. The cabin needs some work; the guys need to get their hands dirty and live simply for a while.

The team is happy for Steve; it’s been so long since anyone saw him moving forward in life, and, of course, he and Bucky deserve some peace and quiet.

No one else has any idea how hard-won this vacation is.

The drive takes all day because they can’t be in a hurry.

Steve takes pictures at every scenic outlook. Bucky climbs up onto some rock ledges to take selfies which Steve is not into. This earns him being featured as a blurry grump in the background of all of them, purposefully.

Eventually, the GPS-free truck pulls up to the place, a large A-frame style cabin that should be plenty big for two super soldiers.

Parked on the gravel path, Steve is careful not to ding the other car when he swings open his door. As Bucky heaves two duffels from the trunk, he calls out, “got the meds, too” and heads inside. Steve gathers up the remaining bags and trudges over, smelling something hearty and delicious cooking, listening to the tinkling, copper-coin wind chime hanging somewhere above him.

He doesn’t stop looking at his feet until they hit the top of the porch, spotting two smaller bare feet on the welcome mat.

There you are, holding the door open, layered in warm knits, more tired before but better than expected.

“Hey,” Steve breathes finally.

“Hey,” you say, your mouth twisted to hide an excited smile.

“Yes, hello,” Bucky grumbles from the living room. “Now shut the damn door. I’m hungry.”

Steve steps inside.

[Last Part]

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

a/n: Sorry this took so long a fucking year! Tags will be in a reblog.

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Day 2 — Dirty Talk

Pairing || TFATWS!Bucky x Female!Reader

Word Count || Around 600

Contents & Warnings || Smut — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, explicit content/language, public, slight blasphemy, teasing, dirty talk, touching, mention of bodily fluids.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Kinktober Masterlist

You watched the couple up at the altar, smiling and beaming with happiness as they were getting married. You were so glad for your friend that they’d finally found someone to spend forever with.

“You may now exchange vows….”

Bucky’s hand that’s been placed softly on your knee during the whole sermon suddenly inches higher up your thigh, making your breath hitch as his touches were not of the innocent kind. He stops at your upper thigh, digging his fingers into your soft skin.

“What are you doing, Bucky?” You mutter in a panic.

He leans in closer so only you can hear. “I want you, baby. So fucking bad.”

“W-we’re in a church, babe.” You swallow the lump in your throat as he swipes his thumb on your inner thigh, so close to your covered sex.

“I don’t care, doll. I will gladly take you here in front of everyone. Show them who you belong to and how good I fuck you.”

You can’t deny that his possessive words were turning you on, but was this really the place for this kind of talk? You were not at all a religious person. But even so, you still felt like you needed to be respectful when entering a house of worship.

But the way Bucky was talking dirty to you, caressing your thigh with his electrifying and alluring touch, had you toss all respect out the window and wanting to play along.

“Yeah? Tell me what you’re gonna do to me, baby.”

“I’m gonna get you all naked and pretty for me. And oh baby, you know I won’t be able to keep my hands and mouth off you once I have you completely bare in front of me.”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded along, eager for more.

“I’ll bend you over the nearest surface and take my sweet time with you. Touching,” he brushed his thumb so close to your pussy, “kneading,” squeezing your thigh in his colossal grip, “and kissing your skin as you beg for my cock,” laying a sweet kiss on your exposed shoulder.

You tilt your neck slightly to the side, letting more of his warm breath tingle your skin as he talks dirty, making your panties all wet.

“Once you’re a whimpering mess, I’ll fill up your tight pussy so good. Slow at first. Just the tip while waiting for your final plea for me to fuck you. Finally, I’ll shove my cock so deep in you that I’ll leave you stunned and speechless.”

You close your legs hard as you delicately rock back and forth to create friction between your legs as he keeps going.

“How good I’m gonna fuck you, doll. So hard, so dirty that you’ll be nothing but a drooling and blubbering mess as my cock penetrates your pussy again and again. And with a final brush of my cock against your sweet spot, making you cry, I’ll have you explode around me as I fill you up with my cum.”

His final talk had chills run down your spine. You felt like you might just come from his words alone.

“… I now pronounce you married for life.”

You and Bucky got pulled back into reality again, mentally shaking your heads back to normal as you clapped and cheered for the newlyweds.

“Bucky, find us a room in this church so you can do exactly what you just said.”

“On it, baby.”

Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

I don’t do taglists so please follow @bucky-barnes-diaries-library and turn on notifications to never miss out on my writing!

[dxcter]

Bullets-Carl Grimes x Male Reader 2

Previous - Next 

Y/n had spent three days alone out there. Running for his life, running away from danger, never stopping to kill a walker in his way. He just ran. During those three exhausting days before the barn he knew, he knew it was his fault. He was the reason his Mother and Father got torn to shreds, and he would never forgive himself for that.

"It's my fault! They're gone because of me. I'm the reason we got kicked out so its my fault that they're dead." He cried, his tears running down his face.

"No, no, no don't say that. It isn't your fault." Andrea said. She kneeled down and comforted the young boy.

"Did you say kicked out? Who kicked you out? And for what?" Hershel asked.

"I c-can't tell you. If I do you'll definitely get rid of me." He sniffled.

"It's okay. You can tell us, we wont get rid of you." Hershel's voice was calm and sincere.

"Really?"

"Really"

Y/n's e/c eyes looked at the people around him and swallowed. "I-i. . . I like boys." He confessed, his voice was quiet but everyone there heard it. Andrea hugged the boy, her hands rubbing his back soothingly. She turned her head and looked at Rick and Shane. "We are not kicking him out." She said. Rick put a hand to his holster and gave her a nod.

"I'll take him to Lori. He can be with her and Carl while the rest of you deal with Randall." Rick put his hand on y/n's shoulder and led him away to the campsite.

"You stay here with Lori, okay. I promise we won't get rid of you." He reassures. Y/n gave a nod. He watched Rick walk away, once he left his line of sight he walked to where Lori was. Lori gave him a friendly smile and continued to do whatever she actually does. The person with her though peaked his interest, he was quiet for the most part and he was the only person who hasn't talked to y/n. Maggie was nice, T-dog was funny so is Glenn, and Dale was nice to be around even if you don't have anything to say. But Carl, Carl was a whole can of worms that you haven't seen yet.

He was barely older than you, but he gave off this demeanor that made it seem like he's lived his whole life in this apocalypse. So you can imagine his surprise when Carl sat next to him. There was an awkward silence at first, but as y/n continued to write in one of his many journals he noticed Carl looking at him every once in a while.

He thought this would go on for the rest of the time there but he heard Carl clear his throat. "So... What are the journals for?"

Y/n looked at him quizzically. "It's just a hobby. I just like to write about things." He answered quietly.

"I knew that, I heard you talking to Maggie earlier. I wanted to know about what you write about." Carl looked at the many books in y/n's bag. Seeing this the h/c-ette/blond took out five journals.

"This blue one is kind of like a diary, I write about what's happened to me in their. I just think that it'll be important one day, kind of like a record of our history. . ." y/n slowly flipped through the pages, it was evident in the pages that he's been writing in it way before the world ended.

"This red one is about plants and animals, it helped me survive out there. The yellow one has random stuff in it like how to build basic things like levers and chemistry. The black one is just more random stuff." Carl listened closely to what y/n said.

"And this leather one has all the stories of people i've met. It even has other things in their like how old they are and small details like that." Y/n smiled as he looked through the book. Every once in a while a photo of a person would appear, y/n's melancholy expression painted across his face.

"How did you get all of this? Its pretty cool and they look like you wrote them yourself." Carl pointed out.

"I didn't do it myself at first. Lots of people helped me with it." He explained. "They kept me safe, they taught me things, and they were. . .like family to me." Tears welled up in his eyes.

Carl frowned at y/n's sad expression. "Well your here now aren't you? We can be your new family now."

Y/n gave a sad smile as he wiped his tears away. "I wish you could. . . I like you guys. Your nice to me but. . . I won't live for long." Y/n gazed into the sunset.

"T-thats not true!" Carl grabbed his hand giving it a soft squeeze.

"But it is true Carl. . . your strong I can see that, I'm not. I got my parents killed; My mother died saving me all because I panicked."

"Then I'll protect you! I'll keep you safe."

"Thank you Carl but you shouldn't have to be my knight in shining armour."

"Then let's be friends first." Carl smiled.

"I'd like that" y/n smiled.

The moon was up, casting an eerie glow over the farm. Carl and y/n were sitting on the front steps while the adults were talking in the living room. They were quietly talking until Dale angrily left the house. Y/n quickly grabbed Carol's arm before she got away.

"What happened in there?"

Carol gave him a sad look before saying "It's nothing you need to worry yourself about."

Y/n unsatisfied with the answer hesitantly let go of Carol's arm and watched as everybody went their separate ways. Y/n turned to Carl. "Can I stay with you. . . I have a bad feeling that somethings going to happen." Carl gave him a nod and started walking to his tent.

It was calm and quiet, the moon was big and full in the night sky. It was peaceful. But it could only be peaceful for so long.

"AAGGHHH!!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello i’ve finally gotten around to posting the second chapter on tumblr, yes this is short but i will be shortly uploading the third chapter so stay tuned!

[k0k0naty]

📌attention 📌

the characters in this story have the opposite sex from the original game, and are not 100% identical to the original work, I hope you understand and enjoy.

Charles: Charlotte

Arthur: Agatha

John: Jane

Dutch: Dina

Sadier: Sandro

Micah: Misa

Abigail: Benjamin

Lenny: Linda

Tilly: Tito

Jack: Joyce

Javier: Frida (whoever understood, understood) 

Hosea: Rose

Bill: Bela. 

Simon: Sarah

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

It's been a few weeks since we settled in Mr. Adler's house and this snow isn't helping at all, besides the food is almost gone, Charlotte is the one who goes out to hunt some deer and rabbits, but I doubt it will be enough to feed us.

Dina: If the storm ends, we will leave, but until then we will keep warm.

Rose: Of course...

Dina: It seems like you don't have faith in me.

Rose: No!... Of course not, I'm just worried.

Dina: Well, I know Agatha has faith, right Agatha? Agatha was writing in her diary until her attention turned to Dina.

Agatha: What? Dina: You trust me, right?

Agatha: Of course, always

Dina: Don't worry, we will get the money and we will have a normal life.

Agatha: I don't doubt it.

Charlotte arrives with the day's catch. It seems she was very lucky, she caught a very large deer. Frida comes over to help.

Frida: How was it?

Charlotte: It was great. It took me a while to get back because the snowstorm was really bad.

Frida: I understand, let's put the prize inside and then put the horses away.

Charlotte: Sure. Charlotte, despite being strong, accepts Frida's help to put the deer inside and Belle welcomes them with open arms.

Belle: Wow, what a blessing.

Charlotte: Of course, today was definitely a lucky day.

Belle: When Sarah sees it, you can see her eyes light up.

They both laugh, but their joy fades when they notice a fight outside, a fight between Misa and Linda who had gone to the barn to take care of the horses.

Linda: You think you're really smart, don't you?

Misa: At least I'm bigger than you

Linda tries to punch her, but Misa is faster and kneed Linda in the stomach, making her fall. 

Frida: Hey! Hey! 

Rose: You guys! Stop it! In the middle of all this snow, you're fighting?! 

Linda: She slapped me! 

Misa: This slap is to teach you that I'm not a joke. 

Rose: Enough! Stop acting like children! We're trying to survive, not slowly kill each other. 

Rose's speech is interrupted by a cough, but it doesn't seem to attract much attention. Dina leaves the house to control the situation. 

Dina: Look! Do you want to use physical force so much? Then Misa will accompany me, Agatha and Bela on a mission, while Linda will help Sarah with lunch and believe me, it's not easy to skin an animal.

Dina said as Rose entered and Agatha left, Bela said goodbye to Charlotte and Frida and also left. Linda swallowed Dina's orders with some difficulty, but obeyed, while Misa left feeling somewhat victorious. 

Misa: What are we going to do? 

Dina: Let's go after Colm O'Driscoll. 

Agatha: What? 

Agatha looks surprised. 

Agatha: Are you joking? 

Dina: No. 

Agatha: Dina, we barely recovered properly. 

Dina: It seems like you don't trust me that much. 

Agatha: Dina, it's not that, but you always said that revenge doesn't lead to anything. 

Dina: It's not about revenge Agatha, it's about money, don't you remember that crazy guy from the barn said something about train robbery? 

Agatha: I remember. 

Dina: Then we can't let them be the first to steal. 

Dina said as she headed towards the barn, Agatha was a little reluctant to do so, but preferred to throw the cigarette out of her mouth and follow Dina. Charlotte, Frida and Rose were ordered to take care of the house while the others were out, and in the middle of the way they talked about dynamite, probably this dynamite would be with the O'Driscolls. 

Dina: horse tracks. 

Belle: lots of horses. 

Dina: let's go.

Agatha: You know you need to end this feud with the O'Driscolls sooner or later, right?

Dina: Believe me, Agatha, I will. You know me. There are things I can forget and others I can't, and I can't forget what he did to Anderson.

Agatha: You already killed his sister, Dina.

Dina: Yes, and I don't regret it.

Agatha remained silent, just watching Dina. There wasn't much to discuss. There was smoke in the sky, probably from a bonfire. They both got closer to analyze it and realized that the smoke was coming from a village with destroyed and abandoned houses. They stopped riding to make a plan.

Dina: Are you ready?

Misa: Yes, we are.

Dina: Great. Agatha and I will go ahead to see more of the camp while Misa and Belle stayed hidden around the camp. Let's not waste any time.

They all got off their horses and went to their positions. Agatha accompanies Dina to the edge of the cliff. Dina grabs her binoculars to get a better look at the camp. 

Dina: There they are. 

Agatha: Can you see Colm? 

Dina: I can, and he looks like he's finished. 

Agatha: Hehe, a poor old man. 

Dina: Of course. 

Agatha: What are they talking about? 

Dina: I don't know, but it doesn't seem like this conversation is happy. 

Agatha: Do you think they're getting ready to leave? 

Dina: It's likely, but let's go visit them first. 

Dina and Agatha go ahead while they see Misa and Belle from afar, ready to provide cover if necessary. They both go down the mountain carefully so as not to fall and hide inside a house that was completely destroyed. 

Dina: Hide. 

Agatha: Do you want me to go ahead? 

Dina: If you want. 

Agatha: Okay, I'll go. 

Agatha grabs the knife she always carried with her and approaches the man who had his back to her, but before she can do anything, one of the gang members sees her and shoots.

Agatha: AAA!

Dina: Agatha!

Agatha quickly hid, the shot had hit her shoulder. Dina starts shooting so that Agatha could recover a little, Agatha gets a reality check and starts shooting.

Dina: You're dead, you sons of bitches! Dina screams as she shoots, Misa and Bela realize what happened and start shooting from the top of the mountain.

Agatha, despite being injured, was the one who stood out the most, she was killing much more than expected, making the others not have as much trouble wasting their bullets, after the last man was killed, Dina got up from the ground and went to help Agatha.

Dina: Are you okay??

Agatha: I am, I am, it was just a little scratch.

Dina: Are you sure, daughter?

Agatha: Yes, it was nothing serious.

Agatha got up from the ground and went straight to Dina.

Dina: Let's search the bodies to see if they have anything valuable.

Dina left, leaving her alone, thinking she was fine. Luckily, Agatha pretended very well. After searching the bodies and taking some watches, rings and, miraculously, money, they noticed a cavalry of bandits coming towards them, armed to the teeth. They didn't last long because Misa and Belle finished them off with a few shots.

Agatha: I owe them.

Dina: They have the advantage, no one can see them up there.

Agatha listened to Dina talking while the other bodies, some horses were agitated, so Agatha approached to calm them down.

Dina: What are you doing?

Agatha: They're scared.

Dina: You usually spoil the horses a lot, even the ones that belong to rivals. 

Agatha: It's not their fault. 

Agatha said as she petted them and freed them from their collars. Dina searched the camp until she found the dynamite they wanted so much. 

Dina: Agatha! Guess what I found. 

Agatha: What? 

Dina: Look at these beauties. 

Dina said with a smile on her face showing the dynamite, Agatha looked a little surprised and came closer to take a better look. 

Agatha: Do you think they're any good? 

Dina: Let's see, shall we? These princesses will be used to blow up the train tracks. 

Agatha: Did you find anything else? 

Dina: I found a map, it shows the location of the train. 

Misa and Belle appear after a long descent from the mountain. 

Belle: Do you need help? 

Dina: Yes, go get the horses, we have a train to loot.

Misa laughs excitedly and happily goes after the horses. When they all got on their horses, they started talking and making fun of the O'Driscoll Gang.

Bela: Well, you may not have caught Colm, but I think the Robbery will hurt more than a bullet to the head.

Dina: Yes Agatha: Do you think they'll come after us?

Dina: Of course they will, but let's stay alert. After riding for a while, they see one of the O'Driscolls escaping on his horse from afar.

Dina: Are there any more alive?

Agatha: Leave that one to me.

Agatha says as she runs towards him on her horse, prepares her lasso and tries to get closer to catch him. When she manages to lasso him, she pulls aggressively, making him fall off his horse.

Agatha: Where do you think you're going?

Man: please! I have nothing to offer you.

Agatha: Of course you do.

Agatha said as she tied his hands and feet.

Man: You won't be able to hold me in your arms.

While the man was arguing with Agatha, Belle appeared to see if everything was okay.

Belle: Everything okay? Did you catch him?

Agatha: I did, but can you help me put him on the horse?

Belle: Sure Belle picked up the man and put him on Agatha's horse by themselves.

Man: Oh! Agatha: Thank you.

Belle: Anything else?

Man: What are you going to do to me?!

Belle: Things. Man: What things?

Agatha: Things you won't like.

Man: No! No, please!

Agatha: What's your name?

Man: Kieren Duffy, please! Don't do anything to me!

Belle: Boy, it's not up to us to decide.

Man: Please! I beg you!

Agatha ignored the man and just got on her horse to go back to Dina, until then, she would have to tolerate the man's whining. 

(This was the most boring one to write)

[chrisdrysdale]

my fairy diary

welcome to my masterlist...

keys: (s)mut, (f)luff, (a)ngst, (d)ark, (i)llusions to smut

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

bucky barnes

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

to have and to hassle (s,f,a)

babysitting (s,f)

first time (s,f,a)

anything for my baby (s,f)

never again (s,f)

of course not (s,f)

help (s,f)

cant quite do it (s,f)

3 month 6 days and 15 hours (a,s)

crash (f,a)

sunrise kisses (f)

better alone (s,f)

not that just you (s,a,f)

dont look at me like that (s,f,a)

cling onto you (s,f)

my marks (s,f)

he likes her feisty (i,a,f)

home (s,f)

you'll always be with me (A,s,f)

touch (a,f)

im here i have you (a,f)

we'll try again (f,i,a) - mentions of pregnancy

you're soaking! (i,f)

the look around (i,f)

all for you (f)

these are for you (a)

Love shot (a,f,i)

My only love (a, f)

bucky drabbles

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ketchup (f)

red lace (s) --- part 2 (s)

swim (i,f)

no apologies needed (s,a)

Am I dying (s)

drunk (s, f)

dom!bucky (s)

drunk!bucky (s)

shaving bucky (f)

protective bucky (f)

the hobbit and cookies (f)

sub!bucky (s,f)

easter with the barnes (f)

bucky's nightmare (f,a)

sea coral (f,a)

snuggles (f)

bucky & a breeding kink (s)

road trip (s)

repairs (s)

wake up (a,f)

boop (f)

hold me (f)

neck (a,f)

jealous dilf!bucky (s)

bucky series

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Runaway bride masterlist

steve rogers

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

soon sweetheart soon (a,f) - platonic

petals (f,s)

petals - pt2. (f,s)

tipsy (f,s)

tispy - pt2. (f,s)

call me by your name (f,s)

Helpless ( d, s, a) - very dark

woah.. (f)--- part 2 (f) --- part 3 (f)

thingy (s, f)

lloyd hansen

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

breed (s)

stucky

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ours (f,a,i)

let it out (a,s,f)

join us (s,f)

well well well what do we have here (s)

matt murdock

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

cutie (f)

sebastian stan

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

need a minute (a,f,s)

beautiful (a,f,i)

chris evans ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

love's gaze (f)

finally! (f)

i’m keeping it (f)

Grief (a,f)

Sleepyheads (f)

Bubble (f)

My AU’s

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

farmland sweetness AU (f,a,s)

Seb and Chris characters from kinktober in april 2022 +18s

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

marking with chris beck

eating out with nick fowler

swallowing with frank (e,b)

daddy kink with lance tucker

spooning with colin shea

roleplay with Ransom

sex toys with johnny storm

whips with curtis everett

[landwriter]

dear diary i had a marvelous birthday roadtrip wherein i

had a terrible sinus infection

drove eight hours then waited for a boat for four then saw my best friend’s new place for the first time four hours after that and immediately fell asleep in her bed

hiked for three days (trees trees trees) and swam in a glacial lake

sauna’d

got surprised by a delicious cake while topless (see above)

identified a DOZEN plants for the first time from the trip (and ate so many berries)

bought a great deal of pottery and a nice linen dress

surprised family with a visit <3

saw juvenile barn swallows (v silly beaks)

had old silverware fobbed off on me and decoded the makers marks to learn i have 208-year-old teaspoons! thanks ancestors

drove 1735 kms

got to come back and see home with the fresh peepers you only get when you’ve gone away for a little bit

[cable-knit-sweater]

I do.

a moodboard by cable-knit-sweater

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Word count: 884 words

Created for: @buckybarnesbingo card B101 | Adoptable: Diary, & @stuckybingo card R4005 | Square: G2 - “I read about you in a museum”

He keeps them like treasures, each and every single one of them. The ones from earlier, months ago, read like not more than the ramblings of a mad man, words scribbled over and over, sometimes with painstaking effort to hold a pen or pencil without his hand trembling, with seemingly no intent behind it except to get them out of his head and onto paper, like he’ll feel less haunted that way. He doesn’t, not really, but it helps, at least for a little while, and at this point, that’s all he can ask for.

They’re his most prized belongings, if you can call it that, traveling with him from city to city, abandoned apartment to warehouse to street corner, all packed safely into his backpack. They’re a part of him, his thoughts and fears, his every half formed thought, and even less than that, right there on paper. He wouldn’t want anyone to see them, thinks he’s an idiot sometimes, for putting it down like that for anyone to read, if they’d find him. His lips curl into what would count as a smile these days, thinking about him, him telling him something about taking all the stupid with him, in a different life.

It’s better now, than it had been. He has flashes of memories that he puts down immediately, afraid that they’ll slip out of his hands if he doesn’t. His mind feels less like he’s in a constant state of confusion, some sort of fog lifting, but some days he still wakes up with no recollection of where he is or how he got there, and writing down as much as he remembers lets him hold onto some semblance of control.

He wishes he could just stop. Stop running, stop looking over his shoulder. But it’ll be either them, or him that will catch up with him eventually. He’s not so sure which one of those is worse. That’s a lie. He is sure, although he tells himself he could fight them, and facing him…he’s not sure he can bear it. Not now, not like this.

It doesn’t end up mattering. He runs up to his apartment to pack up his stuff, his diaries, some cash, some weapons, to get the hell out before they find him. But it’s too late. He can hear cars hurrying up the street, and he doesn’t have to guess their destination. There’s someone in his apartment, he can hear the steady breathing and rustling around before he enters.

His heart beats out of his chest when he sees him. He knew, technically, that he’d recovered from what Bucky had done to him, but in his dreams sometimes…No matter. He’s there, and he looks calm, collected, but Bucky can hear more than just his own heart racing. In his hands is one of Bucky’s diaries. A recent one, the pages already worn by use, flipping to one page in particular, the worst one, the one page that shows too much, lays him bare.

“Do you know me?” he asks, but his voice doesn’t sound right, like the calm he’s trying to exude, affected.

Bucky can barely look at him, afraid to show too much, to give hope where he knows he can’t. He has nothing to offer, except lies. “You’re Steve,” he says, and it comes out more breathless than he’d hoped. God, this punk is going to see right through me, a voice in his head tells him. Please, please don’t. Please just let this go. “I read about you in a museum.” He has to look away at that, can’t bear the look that Steve must have on his face.

“I know you’re nervous, you got plenty of reason to be,” he says, voice rough, holding back an emotion Bucky can’t place. He used to know him, know all of him. He swallows heavily. “But you’re lying.”

He is. He is lying. I know you, I do, he wants to scream. I’ve known you my entire life. I just don’t know who I am, and I can’t…he can’t do that to him. Not to Steve. Steve, his Steve, who expects his Bucky. Steve deserves more than someone who forgot him long enough to beat him to a pulp. Someone who wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming. Who still doesn’t know who or what or where he is sometimes. It’s not safe. He can’t hurt him again, not ever.

He wishes he could tell him that, but his throat feels too tight, and he can hear heavy boots come up the stairs, and he feels trapped, every instinct telling him to run. Even when a little voice in his head tells him to stay, that Steve will figure it out, to let himself get a good look at him, now that he remembers enough, might remember this, one more good look at him, before it all goes to hell. Or whatever is past that. He thinks he’s been in hell, that tendrils of its flames are still wrapped around his wrists, trying to pull him back in.

He ignores the little voice. He runs. He takes one more glance at him, at Steve, and then he runs, his backpack strapped to him, all his memories inside. At least he has those.

[hauntedgardenking]

I’m all spun up in vernal colloquialisms

Caught a draft pressing leaves along my shoulder

Burnt orange a mirror for all the cubists in my diner

And I’m tethered dusk with you silk quinacridone

Shape me in tunnels of right, so right

My desk is cluttered, I wrote a letter, pin-back smirk and I’ve never been so invested desert tarot readings. One moment it’s May, fragile steps soft through dewy grass, and the next it’s autumn orchards. I think I’d like to give you a postcard tumbling nicotine stained around next days intentions. Forgive me my math rock stutter all mouths wandering. One day I can toss this diary, a staple of bird’s nest in an empty home. They’re mostly barn swallows this time of year.

[hobbledehoyyyyy]

A LOVER FROM PALESTINE - Mahmoud Darwish

Your eyes are a thorn in my heart

Inflicting pain, yet I cherish that thorn

And shield it from the wind.

I sheathe it in my flesh, I sheathe it, protecting it from night and agony,

And its wound lights the lanterns,

Its tomorrow makes my present

Dearer to me than my soul.

And soon I forget, as eye meets eye,

That once, behind the doors, there were two of us.

Your words were a song

And I tried to sing, too,

But agony encircled the lips of spring.

And like the swallow, your words took wing,

The door of our home and the autumnal threshold migrated,

To follow you wherever led by longing

Our mirrors were shattered,

And sorrow was multiplied a thousand fold.

And we gathered the splinters of sound,

Mastering only the elegy of our homeland!

Together were will plant it in the heart of a lyre,

And on the rooftops of our tragedy we’ll play it

To mutilated moons and to stones.

But I have forgotten, you of the unknown voice:

Was it your departure that rushed the lyre or was it my silence?

Yesterday I saw you in the port,

A long voyager without provisions,

Like an orphan I ran to you,

Asking the wisdom of our forefathers:

How can the ever-verdant orange grove be dragged

To prison, to exile, to a port,

And despite all her travels,

Despite the scent of salt and longing,

Remain evergreen?

I write in my diary:

I love oranges and hate the port

And I write further:

On the dock

I stood, and saw the world through Witter’s eyes

Only the orange peel is ours, and behind me lay the desert.

In the briar-covered mountains I saw you,

A shepherdess without sheep,

Pursued among the ruins.

You were my garden, and I a stranger,

Knocking at the door, my heart,

For upon my heart stand firm

The door and windows, the cement and stones.

I have seen you in casks of water, in granaries,

Broken, I have seen you a maid in night clubs,

I have seen you in the gleam of tears and in wounds.

You are the other lung in my chest;

You are the sound on my lips;

You are water; you are fire.

I saw you at the mouth of the cave, at the cavern,

Hanging your orphans’ rags on the wash line.

In the stoves, in the streets I have seen you.

In the barns and in the sun’s blood.

In the songs of the orphaned and the wretched I have seen you.

I have seen you in the salt of the sea and in the sand.

Yours was the beauty of the earth, of children and of Arabian jasmine.

And I have vowed

To fashion from my eyelashes a kerchief,

And upon it to embroider verses for your eyes,

And a name, when watered by a heart that dissolves in chanting,

Will make the sylvan arbours grow.

I shall write a phrase more precious than honey and kisses:

‘Palestinian she was and still is’.

On a night of storms, I opened the door and the window

To see the hardened moon of our nights.

I said to the night: Run out,

Beyond the darkness and the wall;

I have a promise to keep with words and light.

You are my virgin garden

As long as our songs

Are swords when we draw them.

And you are as faithful as grain

So long as our songs

Keep alive the fertile soil when we plant them.

You are like a palm tree in the mind:

Neither storm nor woodsman’s ax can fell it.

Its braids uncut

By the beasts of desert and forest

But I am the exiled one behind wall and door,

Shelter me in the warmth of your gaze.

Take me, wherever you are,

Take me, however you are.

To be restored to the warmth of face and body,

To the light of heart and eye,

To the salt of bread and song,

To the taste of earth and homeland.

Shelter me in the warmth of your gaze,

Take me, a panel of almond wood, in the cottage of sorrows,

Take me, a verse from the book of my tragedy,

Take me, a plaything or a stone from the house,

So that our next generation may recall

The path of return to our home.

Her eyes and the tattoo on her hands are Palestinian,

Her name, Palestinian,

Her dreams, and sorrow, Palestinian,

Her Kerchief, her feet and body, Palestinian,

Her words and her silence, Palestinian,

Her voice, Palestinian,

Her birth and her death, Palestinian,

I have carried you in my old notebooks

As the fire of my verses,

The sustenance for my journeys.

In your name, my voice rang in the valleys:

I have seen Byzantium’s horses

Even though the battle be different.

Beware, oh beware

The lightning struck by my song in the granite.

I am the flower of youth and the knight of knights!

I am the smasher of idols.

I plant the Levantine borders

With poems that set eagles free.

And in your name I have shouted at the enemy:

Worms, feed on my flesh if ever I slumber,

For the eggs of ants cannot hatch eagles,

And the shell of the adder’s egg

Holds but a snake!

I have seen Byzantium’s horses,

And before it all, I know

That I am the flower of youth and the knight of knights!

[xelidonia]

In honor of Greek Independence Day, here's a conversation that I overheard my grandmother (your average pita-baking, Saints-praising, extremely-devout-Orthodox Greek Yiayia) having over the phone with her cousin:

Yiayia: "...marriage for homosexuals???"

(At this point I start paying attention.)

Yiayia: "But there's always been gays around. And lesbians. Even in the old times."

Guy on the other end of the phone: annoyed arguing

Yiayia: "Yes! Even in back in my village, we had lesbians. Two of them, "male-females" [αρσενοθήλυκες]. One of them was named Marlena, and her mother was our neighbor growing up. A good family! After the earthquake [of 1953], she and her wife moved to Athens. The rest of the family..."

Guy on phone: homophobic old man noises

Yiayia: "Saint Paul doesn't like it? Saint Paul doesn't even like normal marriage! He says all sorts of things, that Saint Paul... Tell me, have you ever read the New Testament in Modern Greek? My daughter got me a copy, with everything modern, and I read it every day, and I understand so much more now. You should try reading the New Testament in Modern Greek sometime. It might help."

[homu-san]

Riddle's Diary Entry

December 13th, 20XX Dear Diary,

I'll be gone soon, but I wanted to tell somebody about what's gonna happen. It started when I was so behind schedule that I couldn't eat the entire day and had to go to bed without dinner. I woke up and I was starving. So I looked around for something to eat.

The hedgehog food was dry, but I didn't mind it. I thought about eating one of the hedgehogs, but I held back. I kept eating and eating.

I ate a lot of things that night.

The food in the fridge was all gone.

Then I heard chirping outside my window. It was a barn swallow going back to her nest. I reached out for it, and suddenly... I was a cat! I tried to be quiet but the bird had already heard me and flew away. So I jumped off the branch I was standing on and landed on the window of someone's dorm room, I looked in and it was Ace and Deuce's. They didn't even look at me. I jumped and I almost got it. I could tell it was getting exhausted. Now I was up in the big tree. I haven't climbed a tree in ages and the few I did climb were never this high. But all I cared about was eating that bird.

I managed to catch it and I began to gobble it up... And suddenly I was an owl! First, all I heard was the wind. Then I heard little teeth nibbling in the grass, it was a rabbit. I started to fly after yet it kept evading me! But in the end, I managed to catch it, and as I prepared to consume it. I imagined its face looking up and seeing mine, through my talons as the light drained from its eyes. I swallowed it up, and I didn't chew one bit. Then I flew off to find something bigger. Then I heard something rustling in the bushes, it was another rabbit! It didn't seem to notice so I took it as a chance to strike. She was almost too big to carry. As I began to devour it, I started choking, but I couldn't stop eating. Then I heard something moving in the rushing water, I decided to follow it then suddenly I was a shark!

I rolled off a cliff and into the ocean. Now I was hungrier than ever. I wanted fat, juicy seals. Then I heard it! It was a seal swimming all alone, I decided to swim after it. When I finally got close enough, I tore off its flipper and it tasted really good. But I needed more so I continued to swim after it and this time, I grabbed on tight. But I was so hungry, I jumped out of the water. When I opened my eyes, everything had changed. Now I was a monster. and I smelled people everywhere. I was big, but I moved real quiet. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, I was still too hungry, so I continued to hunt each passenger on the ship.

But even after I ate the last passenger, I was still hungry. And across the water, I smelled something new. Something I had to have. So I swam towards it. I slithered onto the sand and the good smell went into an old pipe. I got closer and closer. All my stomachs started growling. And suddenly, I was me again. I held my breath for a long time but I couldn't hear anything. I think it's waiting for me to fall asleep. But it's not going to wait much longer. It needs to feed. And we both know... I will be... delicious.

[wvsteria]

so this is just going to be a plotting call!!! i will not be doing any starter calls. the threads will be transitioned afterwards. but if there’s a new pairing that we want to put together then we can split up starters and talk about that then! this is mostly to highlight what’s happened to the muses and what their general vibes are now. 

aj campos  / crush / 19 / aware / paired w maxine baker

aj is pretty emotionally scared, but like who isn’t at this point? maybe their art will be pretty dark for a while. they still really like max and understand it’s not their fault but they’re a bit weary now about any friendships/relationships going forward. she’s recoiled quite a bit for an already reserved person. 

alaric saltzman / vampire diaries / 34 / aware / paired w josette laughlin

alaric hates that he even wanted to hurt jo. he’s probably going to be drinking again for a bit to drown his sorrows. working later nights to try and distract himself from the realities of what took over him. 

antonia dreykov / marvel / 25 / aware / randomized w jacob hill

antonia is also traumatized. big shock, right? she hates that she was so easily taken advantage of again. it brought her right back to when she was a kid. her recluse state is now just going back to being kind of mean and off-handed for a while until she can be convinced that she’s not just a killing machine.

azula / avatar: the last airbender / 22 / unaware / paired w ty lee

azula actually feels really bad that she just killed someone. she wasn’t in control of her actions and would never (while unaware) want to really hurt someone in that way. they be trying to do some atonement. their version of it at least. 

bucky barnes / marvel / 32 / not aware / paired w emmeline vance

hasn’t happened yet. it’s going to be very jarring when he wakes up with all his memories. dealing with the winter soldier’s memories as well as his own... it’ll be a very hard pill to swallow. 

calcifer / howl’s moving castle / 25 / unaware / unaffected

calcifer is in a state of wtf just happened- but mostly not much has changed for them. lol

callie torres / grey’s anatomy / 39 / unaware / unaffected

callie is wishing they never left new york at this point. but they’re just going to continue to work hard and try not to die :D

catra / she-ra / 25 / unaware / randomized w emily fitch

catra is also mostly unbothered tbh. they don’t really care about what they did. they feel a little bad but like... no one was permanently harmed so who cares? 

cindy berman / fear street part II / 25 / not aware / paired w npc

hasn’t happened yet. cindy is kinda in shock about learning/remembering what happened to her. she’s probably called out of work for like a week. hiding in her apartment and processing and crying about her sister. 

dani powell / prodigal son / 32 / aware / paired w malcolm bright 

dani has thrown herself into her work, trying to prove to themselves that they’re a good person. or trying to make up for what she thought she did. otherwise... probably avoiding malcolm like the plague frfr. she’s a little miserable. 

enzo st. john / vampire diaries / 140 / aware / paired w bonnie bennet

hasn’t happened yet. enzo is going to be living a normal life. probably going to become a vicious mean vampire. so be careful around him !!

gwen blake / the black phone / 20 / aware / randomized w jin ling

gwen is a little ashamed of what happened to her. but she’s trying not to think of it much. maybe will be relying on her visions to do more good around the city.

gwen runck / the 90s show / 18 / aware / paired w leia forman

gwen just hopes to god that leia will forgive them. they kind of scared themselves and never want to feel like that again. 

hayley marshall / vampire diaries / 33 / aware / paired w seth gecko

hayley feels awful. like she’s got the biggest hangover ever. she’s going to try and apologize to everyone that she hurt. and she’s also got to reunite with her family still. 

heron lyptus / harry potter / 30 / aware / unaffected

hasn’t happened yet. y’all are going to be introduced to the new and improved heron. it’s going to be a mystery to me too what kind of person he’ll be so !! he’ll be finding himself a job, most likely as a personal trainer. 

jacen solo / star wars / 27 / aware / paired w tenel ka djo

darth caedus is still lurking below the surface as jacen sinks lower into the shame of what he’s done. he’ll be shutting himself off from his entire family. but especially leia. he still holds that thought that he doesn’t want to see her. but he’ll just be working and trying not to deal with the family drama again to keep caedus from resurfacing. 

jacob peralta / brooklyn 99 / 39 / aware / paired w amy santiago

jake feels disgusted that he became the gruber !!!!! especially trying to hurt amy. he’s doing everything in his power to make sure she knows that he’s sorry. and he’s going to go out and make sure his friends are okay and put in more work.

jasper hale / twilight / 179/20 / not aware / unaffected

jasper is surprised to learn there are more out there like him. he isn’t so affected by the events other than thinking this town is insane but he still can’t leave. catch him trying to find more vampires.

justin russo / wizards of waverly place / 26 / aware / randomized w reggie peters

justin feels guilty beyond belief. he always believed that if anyone in his family were to turn evil it’d be alex. but he was right at the same level with her. he has to reevaluate himself and will be trying to do as much good as he can. 

kate bishop / marvel / 23 / aware / paired w america chavez

kate hopes that this hasn’t ruined anything between her and america. she’s quite actually dreading seeing her. so she’ll be everywhere else and bothering everyone else in the meantime. she’s kinda going about business as usual just extra clingy to other people to avoid america. 

kiara carrera / outerbanks / 22 / aware / paired w jj maybank

kie is still without her humanity so she’s kind of on a rampage? rip. she’s avoiding turning her humanity on because she doesn’t want to see what her friends think about her and what she did, especially jj. 

lucrecia / elite / 20 / aware / randomized w jennifer honey

lu is frightened of this town now. she knew it was magical and different, but she didn’t know it was to this extent. she’s going to be doing anything she can to try and distract her from what happened. overworking herself with school. pretending it never happened. 

marcellus gerard / vampire diaries: the originals / 216/25 / not aware / unaffected

marcel thinks this place is insane but he’s also a vampire so like ? not much has changed for him. 

marie clay / vampire diaries: the originals oc / 193 (24) / aware / randomized w dart

marie’s humanity is back on but tbh she wasn’t that nice with it ?? 

mouse honrada / pll: original sin / 18 / not aware / paired w toph beifong

mouse is having even worse nightmares now. she can’t sleep at night anymore. they really need help tbh.

oliver queen / dc’s the arrow / 36 / unaware / paired w caitlin snow

oliver is really dreading what this will do to the company and his public image. he’s concerned about where all that fighting knowledge came from but ... let’s just focus on the company for now... because that makes way more sense in his head right now. 

padme amidala / star wars / 27 / not aware / randomized w katara

hasn’t happened yet. padme is going to be trying to figure out how she’s alive again and what the hell’s happened to her family? everything is a hot mess ??? and sheev ?? is vice president ??? what is happening ?? 

penelope park / legacies / 18 / not aware / paired w josie saltzman

hasn’t happened yet. with her memories regained, pen is probably just going to try and console josie and will be trying to figure out a way to make sure the rest of their friends remember. including lizzie.... who isn’t technically her friend but still. 

piper halliwell / charmed / 35 / not aware / unaffected

piper is kinda just stuck in a perpetual state of what the fuck right now. she got info dumped on and doesn’t really believe a thing she’s hearing so she’s just trying to be a normal chef girl let her be ?? 

rachel green / friends / 27 / not aware / paired w bela dimitrescu

rachel might still be afraid of bela and is most certainly terrified of her sister. she doesn’t know how things are supposed to go back to normal now. catch her crying everyday while shopping. #retail therapy that’ll break her bank. (credit cards tbh).

riley matthews / girl meets world / 18 / aware / paired w maya hart

riley is going to be overcompensating by being extra extra extra riley with her friends especially maya. she’s not that girl and would never want to hurt anyone especially her friends !!!!!

roxanne weasley / harry potter / 21 / aware / randomized w parker halliwell

roxy is really not herself anymore. she’ hasn’t picked up her wand since that day. she’s pretty much locked herself in her room. she’s not going to want to talk to anyone...literally... don’t think she’s really spoken much beyond necessity since it happened. 

rue / the hunger games / 20 / aware / paired w luke patterson

rue is a little nervous but seeing as it happened to everyone, they really just want to make sure that luke’s okay and that he doesn’t hate her. she wishes more and more everyday though that she wasn’t stuck here. 

samara palpatine / star wars / 24 / aware / randomized w hermione granger

samara’s only regret is that she didn’t get to off her target. but oh well. she got to be in many fights and is pleased with the outcome of most of them. just wait till the other shoe drops my dear. she’s also going to be getting a kick out of torturing the twins.

sarah miller / the last of us / 18 / not aware / unaffected

sarah is scared of this town now. she’s a little nervous to go out and do things but her life can’t stop because of this. she’s probably going to search for self defense classes. 

stu macher / scream / 18 / aware / unaffected

stu had a great fucking time. he’s only sad every day can’t be like this. so uh... he’s chasing that high. sorry to any people that catch him at the wrong time. 

tara carpenter / scream / 19 / not aware / paired w amber freeman

tara now has a different view of just about everyone that was really close to them. and they don’t know what to do about that. they’re a little lost right now. 

violet / arcane / 25 / aware / unaffected

vi is just going to be checking in on her family, including jinx and caitlyn. screw silco for threatening her friend. she already didn’t like him so now she’s going to try and plan something. 

willa lykensen / disney’s zombies / 20 / aware / randomized w riley biers

willa feels extremely bad. she’s never supposed to lose her cool like that. especially as the alpha. she’s questioning her position but she’s still going to try and stay strong for her pack.

[somewhereelse-inphinity]

December 13th, 1947

Dear Diary,

I'll be gone soon, but I wanted to tell somebody about what's gonna happen. It started when Mom sent me to bed without dinner. I woke up and I was starving. So I looked around for something to eat.

Then I heard chirping outside my window. It was a barn swallow going back to her nest. I reached out for her, and suddenly... I was a cat! I tried to be quiet but the bird was really scared. Mom and Dad didn't even look at me. I jumped and I almost got her. I could tell she was getting really tired. Now I was up in the big tree. I promised dad I wouldn't climb it anymore. But all I cared about was eating that momma bird.

I gobbled her up... And suddenly I was an owl! First, all I heard was the wind. Then I heard little teeth nibbling in the grass. I imagined his face looking up and seeing mine, through my talons. I swallowed him up, and I didn't chew one bit. Then I flew off to find something bigger. She was almost too big to carry. I started choking, but I couldn't stop eating. And suddenly I was a shark!

I rolled off a cliff and into the ocean. Now I was hungrier than ever. I wanted fat, juicy seals. I tore off her flipper and it tasted really good. I grabbed on tight. But I was so hungry, I jumped out of the water. When I opened my eyes, everything had changed. Now I was a monster. and I smelled people everywhere. I was big, but I moved real quiet. I wanted to stop but also I didn't.

After the last passenger, I was still hungry. And across the water I smelled something new. Something I had to have. So I swam towards it. I slithered onto the sand and the good smell went into an old pipe. I got closer and closer. All my stomachs started growling. And suddenly, I was me again. I held my breath for a long time but I couldn't hear anything. I think it's waiting for me to fall asleep. But it's not going to wait much longer. It needs to feed. And we both know... I will be... delicious.

(What Remains of Edith Finch, Molly's diary entry)

[tape recorder click]

[ceo-of-daichi]

I posted 1,899 times in 2022

506 posts created (27%)

1,393 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ceo-of-daichi

@mrskodzuken

@bucky-barnes-diaries

@mintmatcha

@kagejima

I tagged 1,884 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#lydz speaks - 489 posts

#sawamuras big schlong hoes🤩 - 272 posts

#the loml - 191 posts

#daichi owns my whole ass heart - 188 posts

#my literal husband - 186 posts

#my baby🥺 - 181 posts

#moots i adore✨ - 173 posts

#lydz recs🍒. art - 168 posts

#god i am in love with sawamura daichi - 128 posts

#daichi - 112 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#like… we are all brainwashed into thinking because we look a certain way we deserve more than other people or deserve less than other people

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

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293 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#4

Long heavy make out sessions with Daichi.

Desperate touches and clashing of teeth when he turns the more delicate kisses passionate.

His tongue rubbing against yours as he fights to taste as much of your mouth as physically possible, while you are doing the same.

Even when you both break for a breath you share the same air for that small moment, not wanting to move any further away.

Getting so lost in the moment that suddenly his weight is on you, his crotch grinding down so beautifully against your own.

Small moans and whines against his lips which only egg him on until he physically can’t take it any longer. He needs more.

Heavy make out sessions that lead to soft, desperate sex with Daichi.

As if you both went any longer you would perish without it, both so eager to feel the other.

Its hot, heavy and loud, he’s so loud when he’s this desperate. When he’s deprived himself for long enough that he cums quicker than usual, the groan that leaves his lips almost causes you to fall down after him.

But he couldn’t stop himself, just like he can’t stop apologising for how quickly he came, his fingers rubbing rhythmic circles on your clit and his mouth now attached to your chest.

By the time you are both done, you collapse in each others arms.

Soft reassuring words whispered between lovers, promises of forever and gentle touches are what follows.

You always wanted nights to start and end with Daichi.

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375 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

#3

I’m feeling v v soft for Ushijima 🥺🥺 I know he’s no Daichi, but imagine him rolling over in the middle of the night, pulling you close to his chest for snuggles and giving little kissies while you sleep 🥺🥺🥺

❥Pairing | Ushijima Wakatoshi x GN!Reader

❥WC | 200+

❥A/N | Just a lil something something for Ushi😉 Hope you like this? I thought it was a super sweet concept! I actually really enjoy writing stuff for Ushi honestly🥺 (even though I agree he’s no daichi🙃) Once again I wrote this at work so its not proof read!!

Tip-Jar☕️ | Navi | Drabble Masterlist

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409 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#2

I just know theres a rumour at the police station that Daichi has a big dick.

He gives off massive bde and everyone is practically begging him to fuck them at that point regardless.

But Daichi always declines, all pursuits that were sent his way often ended after one date, that he definitely went on just to be polite.

And therefore the rumour was never proven to be true or the opposite.

Its only when he strikes up interest in you that its finally revealed.

Okay so maybe you did start the rumour because you had a teeny tiny huge crush on him.

But you never expected it to come bite you in the ass…

The first time he fucks you, its gentle and sweet at first but Daichi can’t help himself when he see’s your cute little cunt trying to swallow his girth.

“I know you started them rumours babygirl… you think I don’t see you eyeing me up every time I walk past huh?” He cooed down at you, your face already fucked out, a small droplet of drool peaking out the corner of your parted mouth.

“Am I living up to all you thought me to be?” He smirked, purely teasing. Truth is, he loved how much you stared, how you didn’t try to hide it.

He had sported a crush for quite a while as well, although he had managed to keep it under wraps.

So once he had teased you a bit, he went back to his gentle, all loving self. Bringing you to orgasm multiple times, making you were truly spent before he couldn’t edge himself any longer.

And you finally confirmed the rumours to your coworkers, because despite refusing to say anything. The way you limped in may or may not have given it away..

It was the first time he fucked you that you realised that Daichi doesn’t just fuck… its probably why he never accepted other peoples offers.

He gave his whole heart and soul, he didn’t just fuck… he made love.

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419 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just letting you all know that sleepy Daichi is a menace.

When he’s still in the haze of morning, his eyes barely open, his body still in the lul of sleep. His arms around his favourite teddy bear, you. Its a perfect place, he longs to be in this moment forever-

Yet you decide to move.

His hold on you gets tighter as you attempt to wriggle away from him to get ready for work.

“Just 5 more minutes~” Daichi whispers softly, the gruff of his voice easy to hear over the silence of the morning.

And how can you say no to him? So you agree, five more minutes in the morning bliss.

“Maybe you should just call in sick…” He whispers again as you settle back in beside him, placing a delicate kiss just below your ear.

This causes you to laugh softly, for him you would do just about anything.

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1,336 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

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