#a bill got passed to force disabled people to work

[ashenbun]

The UK government has gone fully insane. I don't even know how tf I'm meant to survive the next year this js so fucked

[drtanner]

Genuinely wish I had the energy to talk more about UK politics here given that Tumblr is so US-centric and desperately needs the added perspective, but there's genuinely fuck all happening here that hasn't been par for the course for the last ~14 years. Tories gonna Tory.

A brief rundown for interested parties:

After a long and arduous battle to convince everyone that it should be legal to do so, our government has commenced with its plan to shove asylum seekers who attempt an extremely dangerous Channel crossing on small boats to find safety here onto planes and ship them off to Rwanda, a country with significant human rights issues. There does not seem to be any desire to do anything about the "criminal gangs" who are supposedly trafficking these asylum seekers and sending them here, or to ask any questions about what might make people so desperate that they'd risk crossing the Channel in a tiny boat in the first place.

Having sent everyone back to the office despite COVID still very much being a thing so that we can oil the wheels of the UK economy with our blood and to prevent their portfolios from losing value, the same ghouls are now proposing that disabled people "do their duty" by being forced to work from home, or else lose their benefits. They're also proposing mandatory work placements for people who fail to find work within 18 months.

Transphobia remains the culture war du jour, despite all evidence showing that it is a vote loser. Our government continues to be obsessed with policing the genitals of children and ensuring that trans people receive abuse from every possible direction, having recently released "guidance" for schools that essentially instructs them to deny trans kids any kind of shelter or agency whatsoever and to refuse their requests for basic dignity whenever the opportunity to do so arises, whilst simultaneously attempting to introduce the term "gender ideology" into mainstream parlance.

The Online Safety Bill, which proposes that social media sites should require ID in order to sign up, is also a porn ban.

We (and the US) are still bombing people in another country, without it having been approved by vote beforehand, in order to prevent Israel from suffering any economic hardship while it continues to commit a genocide using weapons that we (and the US) provide. Our government assures us that this will continue for as long as Israel wants it to, and is still talking about "humanitarian pauses" instead of any kind of actual, real ceasefire.

Labour (the supposed "opposition" party) has wholeheartedly supported every part of this and in some cases seems to think that the current government doesn't go far enough.

We're still in the middle of a cost of living crisis, by the way. Also the climate crisis, with more and more people losing their homes and livelihoods to flooding with every passing year. No one's talking about any of that, though. There might be a transgender child receiving lifesaving healthcare somewhere, or maybe an immigrant being treated with respect, which is obviously much worse.

So that's where we are right now. We've been promised an election this year but given that Labour haven't opposed any part of the cruelty this government has been visiting upon everyone but the white, cishet, ablebodied rich, it's unclear whether getting the Tories out will actually materially improve anything. If you've got the Greens or Lib Dems as candidates in your constituency, I guess it's time to make peace with voting for them instead of Labour, maybe.

So, yeah. v( ._.)v

[bandofchimeras]

ACAB its not just a slogan or a meme.

police make everywhere feel so unsafe.

when you aren't one of the demographic they serve (landowning upper class white cishet people). i don't even think about calling the cops if my life is danger. I did that one time. they arrested me.

if there was a murder need investigating, sure, but i wouldn't trust that they would actually put any effort into the search based on who my friends tend to be.

in this city, they paid serial killers on the force 500,000 pension to "retire" and then get hired again by another county force the next year. everytime a cop car drives by, I imagine that verified murderers and accomplices, heavily armed and angry, are in the drivers seat. how is that NOT a fucking "gang"?

I'm white. I'm never going to understand the particuarly terrifying relationship Black Americans or Native people have with the police.

but when other middle class people make jabs at "unsafe" neighborhoods and places...they forget elite, rich neighborhoods can be just as deadly if you don't look like its residents. My blood pressure rises whenever i have to drive my junker truck with the taped over window into a wealthy area, or park near businesses where most of the other cars are shiny. recently all the side streets in this city have been full of "NO PARKING" signs to target houseless folks. In Kentucky they're working on passing the H5 bill the "Safer Kentucky Act" - which would decriminalize shooting homeless people. and criminalize sleeping in your car. and implement a three strike rule, which can lead to a life sentence or execution.

state sponsored execution for being "undesirable" think about that. they get to just decide who gets to live and die? for being "dirty" or using substances? for being disabled by a disabling virus?

its easy to let ACAB become a slogan and not think about why cops are bastards if you aren't exposed to dangerous situations regularly, and then default to them in a panic when the chips are down. because you haven't seen it. you're the white church mom I used to know posting about how nice the cops were to her when she got pulled over. the lady who makes her blonde friend drive when they go on road trips because she can get out of tickets. but once you witness the level of betrayal and mishandling in the criminal injustice system, the level of abuse and violence, the way your neighbors and friends are trigger-happy to use this armed gang against you the second you're perceived as "out of control, "the second that violence touches you it becomes so obvious these bastards are not your friends and never can be.

unless you adopt the ideology necessary to justify their aggressions against yourself and your neighbors. and even then. you ever seen some wacko with a Blue Lives Matter wrap get pulled over? its funny but also it shows, nothing will protect you. cops are doing heavy PR right now. town halls, coffee and donuts. they're recruiting for the upcoming militarization that's coming in response to Palestine protests and this horror show election in November.

Amerikkkan cops are heavily infiltrated and practically equivalent in many cities to other white supremacist, militant gangs. They are militarizing more and more rapidly. Using AI and integrating with the court system, more survelliance, more rules for how you're allowed to exist in public. think about that. why should it matter? if you loiter, if you skateboard, if you wear glasses or masks? you are being trained to see yourself and your neighbors as potential-crime-committers rather than human beings. we are self-survelling. reporting. getting off on correcting and ignoring eachother. What Israel is doing is a mirror held to our collective potential future. and you should be very, very alarmed. Fuck the cops. Fuck the prisons. Fuck the detention centers. We already have the Gestapo and the camps. Look the fuck around.

[jazzytrait]

I'm drinking and rambley so how about a non-sims, Jazzy-gives-advice-no-one-asked-for post? No? We're doing it anyway!

So, my friend just told me about another friend of hers who has been asking her for money on the regular and I had to tell her this story because it's...

a lesson I had to learn the hard way:

Story time! Once upon a time I had a close friend. We'd known each other for years. When he finally moved out of his parents' house he had no end of financial trouble.

(This is gonna get long and rambley... so adding a cut)

Now, I'm no stranger to that... I'm disabled and have no college degree. I've struggled to make ends meet my whole life. I have gotten very good at churching up ramen noodles and rice/bean dishes. For reference: I've been under or only slightly over the poverty line for the majority of my life. Sucks when you feel like you're making a little progress and then they take away your health insurance because you made $1k more a year. (and I have to have my medications, so forgoing medical treatment is not an option)

Anyway, my friend got into a bind when he quit a job because the manager was rude to him. He was slightly younger than me and new to "real life", so I gave him a pass. Life is rough and adjusting is hard. I helped him out with a couple hundred dollars that I barely had because that's what friends do, right? Right.

A couple months later, I found out that instead of paying his rent with that money he had taken his gf out to dinner a few times and now he was getting kicked out. Luckily, he was living with roommates and it wasn't an actual eviction. But he did have to find somewhere new to live. He asked to come stay with me and I had to decline because my place was extremely tiny (300sq ft) and I didn't even have a couch for him to surf on.

He found someone else to couch surf with rent free until he could find another job and another place. He kept talking about all the job hunting and how hard it was. A few months later his gf confessed to me that he hadn't been looking or putting in applications because he thought he deserved more money than the going rate for his education level (no hs diploma or GED). His friend eventually kicked him out and he found ANOTHER place to couch surf. He did eventually take another job.

A few months later he was in trouble again because he had to go to the doctor and was short on rent. My other friend helped him out with some money. This time he spent it on his rent. But lo and behold, the next month he said he needed help again. A different friend helped him out with some more money. The next day he, I and his gf were online together gaming in Discord. He said "brb I'm gonna order some food". He ordered $60 of sushi for he and his gf to split (she didn't work btw, so he paid). I asked him "Didn't [friend] just lend you money for your rent? Why are you ordering sushi?" and he replied "All I have is sandwich stuff and I don't feel like eating a sandwich". This was the first time that red flag really went up for me, even though it should have been sooner.

It continued this way. Every month he had some new sob story of why he needed money from people and even though our friend group had long since ceased helping him, he always found someone new to help him out (he was charming and had a knack for making friends and sounding genuine).

He went through job after job. He'd quit after a month or so because he didn't like the work or didn't like his boss or didn't make enough money (which... any money is better than no money). I'm not saying that adult life isn't soul-crushing. It is and it sucks, but we do what we have to do to survive. To him, he was victim forced to do something he didn't want to do and so he refused to do it. He had a million and one excuses for how his joblessness and constant need for assistance wasn't his fault.

One time, I was in town visiting and we met up to get a burger. I offered to split the bill and he said after we'd already eaten "Oh, I don't have any money". I bit my tongue and paid because it was too late anyway. Afterwards, as we were walking back out through the mall he said he wanted to stop and look in a couple stores. He asked me to buy him things three separate times. I declined because I could barely afford my own rent and expenses and I worked my ass off to get what little I had. He was pretty frustrated by my refusals and even called me "stingy".

To this day (5 years later) he is famous amongst our friends for always asking for money, always spending it carelessly and then just asking people for more... he doesn't have to work his ass off because people keep giving him things to the point that now if you say "no" to him he gets offended and feels entitled to whatever money you have.

The moral of the story is: One time is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a problem. Some people can't be bothered to help themselves as long as others are willing to prop them up and do it for them. Don't get suckered into every sob story you hear and feel obligated to help. We want to be good people and helping out isn't wrong. Help should be available to people in times of crisis... but keep an eye out for the ones who seem to always need help. Some people are very good liars.

[a-mom-y-nous]

So, having grown up in, what many would call, the perfect home, life has certainly not been perfect at all. After I had to be taught, at age 11 to basically "be human" (again).

After a car accident (I thought) ruined my life, left me paralyzed on the left side of my body, blind in 50% of both of my eyes on the right side (only being able to see 50% of everything on the left side (only), and a spastic left hand; I didn't have much hope. At least at age 11, 12, and 13, I didn't quite think of a future - the world of a disabled person looks so much different.

I think it looked much different even for the people with serious, for real disabilities (not that my disabilities was not serious or real) but I grew up different. My dad had ALWAYS believed in me, and pushed me forward to be the best version of me, even in the bad circumstances I found myself in.

There has been innumerous challenges, but also more victories and breakthroughs, I'm sure, I ever thought there would be...

Though, having lived the life of a disabled person in that world was not something anyone would choose, it was comfortable and surely easier than it is as an adult - as an adult who is now regarded as "normal" in a "normal" society.

There's no cushioning against the fights in this society, bullying, bills, responsibilities, and a responsibility to one self, having health challenges With the same issues and problems as the rest of society, but having limitations, such as not being able to drive, being a big challenge.

I have received the same measure of grace though - favor, personality and a sense of humor, for which I am eternally grateful. With a deep sense of appreciation and true love for what matters.

A very strong sense of determination has always been a strong driving force together with a childhood, where the rolemodels back in the day, were determined people too.

A very big breakthrough/achievement was going to college. It was made out to be much harder than actually was.

Another very big breakthrough happened gradually over a period of 11 years. Surviving (living) as an independent adult

In the same time as the high-school where I attended school and was bullied, I realized that I would have to work twice as hard as the average person to make a success of my life (this was way before the internet and digital knowledge)

While in high school, I started delivering bread & milk. I walked to where I needed to be as my parents, especially my dad, refused to feel sorry for me

I did my purchases and deliveries by foot. Sometimes my dad would give me a ride, but I enjoyed the process and the feeling of accomplishment. It became like an addiction. When I realized the bread & milk deliveries was not working, I started processing & delivering the fresh, processed vegetables.

Years later, my parents passed away, and after that time, I ran a cleaning service my mother owned. The solutions to the challenges I faced at that time, came naturally. Hiring transport (much more expensive than Uber and bolt), was the obvious solution, which I did for 3 years, and it felt great. Until it started interfering with my family.

Bearing in mind I was a single mother for nine years, and experienced the fullness and joy of being a single mom; when my child and husband mentioned that my business seems more important to me than they seem to be. I had a choice to make... It wasn't without a fight ... in myself first, and with my husband...

Then covid came ... another bittersweet chapter.

For very long I wished my husband could work from home with me. When covid "arrived" in South Africa, my husband lost his job. The warehouse where he worked was vandalized, so he lost his job. We prayed like never before, and believed even more... Then he started Phoenix Business Solutions

https://www.phoenixbusinesssolutions.co.za

The more he liked what he did, the more I learned from him and got inspired. I soon started doing his marketing, until I got very sick one night in my sleep.

He told me not to work, but working became second nature. I couldn't do nothing. It was just impossible, so I tried sewing...which I have the skill to do, but not the precision it takes to work for clients. So I was back at the desk sooner than later. Stay tuned to learn more

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Trump & the Military

(This was shamelessly copy/pasted from OP on Reddit (u/myusernameiscool1234, thanks dude!) because it needs to be spread and I wanted to update a tad, add links and reformat it so it's easier to follow. I'm sure I'm missing stuff, so feel free to add to it and I'll try to update accordingly. Please Share!)

On Military Service

• Trump dodged the draft 5 times, 4 for college and 1 by having a doctor diagnose him with bone spurs.

• Trump said having unprotected sex was his own personal Vietnam (1998)

• Trump said “I felt that I was in the military in the true sense because I dealt with those people” because he went to a military-style academy and that he has “more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military”. (2015 biography)

• Trump accepted a Purple Heart from a fan at one of his rallies and said: “I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” (Aug 2, 2016)

• ⁠No Trump in America has ever served in the military; this spans 5 generations, and every branch of the family tree. In fact, the reason his grandfather immigrated to America was to avoid military service

• Trump made his 2nd wife, Marla Maples, sign a prenup that would have cut off all child support if Tiffany joined the military (reported on June 4th, 2019)

Use & Treatment of Military

• He sent commandos into an ambush due to a lack of intel, and sends contractors to pick them up, resulting in a commando being left behind, tortured, and executed. (Trump approved the mission because Bannon told him Obama didn’t have the guts to do it) (Oct 4, 2017)

• He forgot the aforementioned fallen soldier’s name during a call to his pregnant widow, then attacked her the next day (Oct 23-24, 2017)

• He urged Florida to not count deployed military votes (Nov 12, 2018)

• He used troops as a political prop by sending them on a phantom mission to the border and made them miss Thanksgiving with their families (Oct-Dec, 2018).

• He stopped using troops as a political prop immediately after the election. However, the troops remained in muddy camps on the border (Nov 7, 2018).

• He called troops on Thanksgiving and told them he’s most thankful for himself (Thanksgiving, 2018)

• He fired service members living with HIV just before the 2018 holidays (Dec 19, 2018-present)

• He finally visited troops 2 years after taking office, but only after 154 vacation days at his properties (Dec 26, 2018)

• Trump lied to deployed troops that he gave them a 10% raise. He didn’t give them a 10% raise (Dec 26, 2018). He initially tried to give the military a raise that was lower than the standard living adjustment. This was before Congress told him that idea wasn’t going to work. Then after giving them the raise that Congress made him, he lied about it pretending that it was larger than Obama’s. It wasn’t.

• He revealed a covert Seal Team 5 deployment , including names and faces, on Twitter during his visit to Iraq. Endangering both the operatives and their families. (Dec 26, 2018)

• He refused to sign his party’s funding bill, which shut down the government, and forced a branch of the military (see below) to go without pay. This branch of military was forced to work without pay, otherwise they would be AWOL. However, his appointees got a $ 10,000 pay raise (Dec 22, 2018 – Jan 25, 2019)

• He didn’t pay the Coast Guard, forcing service members to rely on food pantries (Jan 23, 2019)

• He denied female troops access to birth control to limit sexual activity (on-going. Published Jan 18, 2019)

• He banned service members from serving based on gender identity (Jan 22, 2019)

• He diverted military housing funds to pay for border wall (Feb 15, 2019). A judge subsequently denied this. In July 2019, SCOTUS ruled that Trump could in fact divert military housing funds to pay for his wall.

• Trump pardoned war criminals (May, 2019)

• In May 2019, Trump turned away US military from his Memorial Day speech because they were from the destroyer USS John S. McCain. Trump initially ordered the USS John McCain out of sight during his visit to Japan (May 15, 2019) which led to the ship’s name subsequently being covered. (May 27, 2019)

• In June 2019, Trump sent troops to the border to paint the fence for a better “aesthetic appearance” (June 7, 2019)

• Trump demanded US military chiefs stand next to him at 4th of July parade (reported July 2, 2019)

• Trump made the U.S. Navy Blue Angels violate ethics rules by having them fly at his July 4th political campaign (July 4, 2019)

• On July 31, 2019, Trump ordered the Navy rescind medals to prosecutors who were prosecuting war criminals.

• On ⁠October 8th, 2019, Trump plans to withdraw from Open Skies treaty giving Russia the ability to target our military aircraft.

Attacks on Service Members

• Trump said he doesn’t consider POWs heroes because they were caught. Says he "prefers people who were not caught" (July 18, 2015)

• He said he knows more about ISIS than American generals (Oct 2016)

• Trump attacks Gold Star families including: Myeshia Johnson — a gold star widow and the Khan family—gold star parents (2016-present)

• He called a retired general a ‘dog’ with a ‘big, dumb mouth’ (Jan 1, 2019)

• Well documented dislike of Sen. John McCain, going back to his statement on POWs (see above) and leading up to McCain’s passing. On March 20, 2019, Trump complained that deceased war hero, Sen. John McCain, didn’t thank him for his funeral.

• Trump started his D-Day commemoration speech by attacking a private citizen (Bette Midler, of all people) (reported on June 4th, 2019)

• Trump used his D-Day interview at a cemetery commemorating fallen US soldiers to attack Robert Muller, former FBI special counsel and a Vietnam veteran (June 6, 2019)

• Children of deployed US troops will no longer get automatic American citizenship if born overseas during deployment. This includes US troops posted abroad for years at a time (August 28, 2019)

• After he pleading with superiors in a letter asking to offload most of the sailors on the ship in order to allow for social distancing and sanitizing the USS Theodore Roosevelt, Trump attacks Capt. Crozier calling his letter “terrible” and "not appropriate” leading the Secretary of the Navy to remove Capt. Crozier from his post. 114 of 4,000 sailors on the ship had already tested po sitive for COVID-19. (April 3, 2020)

• On June 24, 2020, the White House ends the National Guard's deployments to assist the American people during the COVID-19 pandemic, the day before thousands of National Guard members would qualify for early retirement and education benefits under the Post-9/11 GI bill.

Immigrants in the military

• He deported veterans (2017-present)

• He ordered the discharge of active-duty immigrant troops with good records (2017-present)

• Trump doubled the rejection rate for veterans requesting family deportation protections (July 5, 2018)

• Trump deported active-duty spouses (11,800 military families face this problem as of April 2018).

• Trump deported a spouse of fallen Army soldier killed in Afghanistan, leaving their daughter parentless. The US has since overturned this as of April 16, 2019.

• In July 2019, Trump denied a United States Marine of 6 years entry into the United States for his scheduled citizenship interview (Reported July 17, 2019)

Treatment of Veterans

• For a decade, Trump sought to kick veterans off of Fifth Avenue because he found them unsightly nuisances outside of Trump Tower. Being quoted as saying, “While disabled veterans should be given every opportunity to earn a living, is it fair to do so to the detriment of the city as a whole or its tax paying citizens and businesses?” in 1991.

• Trump sent funds raised from a January 2016 veterans’ benefit to the Donald J Trump Foundation instead of veteran’s charities (Jan, 2016). The foundation has since been ordered shut because of fraud and Trump to pay $2 million in damages as of November 2019.

• The controversy surrounding wether or not he said vets get PTSD because they "aren’t strong" (Oct 3, 2016)

• He blocked a veteran group on Twitter (June 2017)

• Trump changed the GI Bill through his Forever GI Act.

• Trump changing the GI Bill caused the VA to miss veteran benefits, including housing allowances and forced many veterans to run out of food and rent. “You can count on us to serve, but we can’t count on the VA to make a deadline,” one veteran said. (reported October 7, 2018)

• While in Europe commemorating the end of WWI, he didn’t attend the ceremony at a US cemetery due to the rain – but other world leaders went anyway (Nov 10, 2018)

• He got three Mar-a-Lago guests to run the VA (unknown start – present, made well-known in 2018)

• He increased privatization of the VA, leading to longer waits and higher taxpayer cost (2018)

• He tried to slash disability and unemployment benefits for Veterans to $0, and eliminate the unemployability extrascheduler rating (Dec 17, 2018)

• He canceled an Arlington Cemetery visit on Veterans Day due to light rain (Nov 12, 2018)

• He tried to deport a marine vet who is a U.S.-born citizen (Jan 16, 2019). He deported countless other veterans (2017-present)

• When a man was caught swindling veterans’ pensions for high-interest “cash advances,” Trump’s Consumer Financial Protection Bureau fined him $1. As a reminder, the Trump administration’s goal was to dismantle the CFPB, installing Mick Mulvaney as the director, who publicly stated the bureau should be disbanded. (Jan 26, 2019)

• Trump purged 200,000 veterans’ healthcare applications (due to known administrative errors within VA’s enrollment process and enrollment system) (reported on May 13, 2019)

• On August 2, 2019, Trump requisitioned military retirement funds towards the border wall.

[ocdhuacheng]

For the disability thing you reblogged, in the US it's that they can't have $2,000+ in savings or assets (things like cars for example.) The minute you hit 2000 you lose your benefits and have to pay the government back whatever money they sent you that month.

Most people have a limit of getting a max of about $800 a month, and aren't allowed to receive help from relatives or friends with expenses without that being taken out of the $800. You can't even receive donations for emergencies.

In order to get the type of disability where you can earn more (still well below poverty. Like think $1,200 a month) you have to become disabled after working for years at a middle class paying job.

Otherwise it's the $800 a month type. That's often less than that.

Often that $800 isn't even enough to cover medication and doctor visits. Let alone rent. The type of insurance disabled people qualify for still requires them to pay 20% of medical costs, and they often have conditions that cost hundreds or thousands a month.

If they get married or even live with a partner sometimes they lose all benefits. Which means they don't have marriage equality.

Housing programs, which take years to get access to, still expect them to pay like 20/30% of that 800 on rent. Food assistance for often doesn't cover enough, and if you get help with rent or bills can end up being only like $15 a month.

So it's way, way worse than if they only got $2000. People are forced to live well below poverty while most have medical conditions that make living more expensive on its own.

And disability takes years and years to get on because the government policy is to deny *all* claims the first time to discourage people from applying. Which means you have to wait for forever to appeal the decision.

I've known several people who the government denied their claims long enough that they passed from their medical condition before ever getting even a penny.

I can never marry my partner, even after gay marriage became legal, because if I do they'll lose insurance and their income and be unable to afford the medication they need to live.

It's not good.

That’s literally so vile I’m sorry to everyone who has to go through that

[rjhpandapaws]

When the Music Plays

Prologue 1: Destined for Tragedy

There was a time when many people believed Hank would be destined for greatness. That he would be one of the lucky ones to grab he world by the bootstraps and make his own way. Hank had believed that too for a while. Up until he had gotten a taste of the real world.

They had been right, in a way of course. He would have to make his own way. The real world was not made for the Deaf. He had no place here, he would have to build his own. When he was younger that hadn’t bothered him, his friends had been excited to learn Sign Language, and Hank had been eager to teach them.  His elementary school teachers had been kind and incredibly accommodating to him as well as his interpreter. It was his first interaction with pity, though he had been too young to know it at the time.

He was ‘inspirational’. Everyone around him used the word like a compliment; he learned too late that it was a prison. Middle school brought with it hearing aids and the pressure to learn to speak from his teachers, friends, and some of his family members. In a matter of years he had gone from an inspiration to a burden. The token disabled friend. The prize people could use to show how kind they were. He hated it with every ounce of his being.

By the time he got to high school he had moved on from those friends, and from friends in general. He didn’t want to be another token. He wore his Deaf Accent with pride, though he still primarily signed. Speech was for school and situations when it couldn’t be avoided, and those situations only. He was done doing more for others than what was being done for him.

He tried the college thing for a while, but nothing he came across really seemed to stick. Except for Maralyn, they’d hit it off and become fast friends. She was studying Psychology with a minor in Developmental language. She would come to be one of the best things that had ever happened to him. A grounding point of sorts, a soft place to land when the path to self discovery got a little too rough.

She saw him through the police academy and into the ranks of the DPD. Things between them had been great, and Hank wanted to spend the rest of his days with her, so he had proposed. That had marked when things began to stabilize in his life. A kind, intelligent and supportive wife with a potential promotion on the distant horizon. For the first time in his life it felt like he had the world in the palm of his hands.

He had friends he didn’t have to pretend for. He was seen for what he could do, rather than defined by what he couldn’t. The balance he had tried to find while he was growing up finally made itself known to him. He had made his way and seemed to have found his place in the world. Detective work seemed to come naturally to him, even if he needed help with some of the finer points. He wanted to make the world around him a better place, protect those who couldn’t do it themselves.

August of 2029 found him promoted to the rank of Lieutenant. September found him the father of a beautiful bright eyed baby boy. Cole became his world, his driving force. He wanted to make it so Cole grew up in a world where he was safe and loved. A world where he wouldn’t have to fight his way to stability the way Hank had.

For a time he had the world at his feet and the wind at his back. A job that he did well at, even if it was draining at times, and a family that loved him. Cole and Maralyn were is everything he’d ever wanted. He felt unstoppable, so it made sense that everything would start coming apart at the seems after that. He had flown too close to the sun and now it was time to pay for it.

It started slowly. He began spending more time at the station since being a Lieutenant required more work than being a detective. It left Maralyn with Cole most days which was taxing on her. He did his best to juggle work and having a family, but the fights became more frequent, and the good nights were becoming fewer and farther between. They tried for the sake of Cole, but the damage had been done and they were legally separated in May of 2033. Lyn took Cole with her.

Hank coped as he always did, by ducking his head and moving forward with the stubbornness of an ox. It was harder this time, without Lyn in his corner. He still had Cole on the weekends, and those became the moments he clung to. The two days when it was only he and Cole and he was able to shelve his worries of the rest of the world. Just bright blue eyes and the retelling of his adventures. Two days where Hank could just be. He would do his best to make sure Cole thrived.

The divorce was finalized in early 2034. On paper they had joint custody, but Lyn was his primary guardian. Hank would get to have him on alternating Wednesdays and weekends; they would swap holidays and birthdays. It was less time thank Hank would have liked, but with his job it was the best he was going to get.

Cole had been confused and miserable for a while and Hank didn’t know how to explain it anymore than that parents sometimes fell out of love. The weeks he didn’t have Cole until the weekend, he buried himself in work and cheap whiskey. He wanted to be sure he had time for Cole and that there wouldn’t be any interruptions. The whiskey was to help ease the pain of his life slowly slipping away from him. He tallied the good days as the ones he got to spend with Cole, despite not knowing how numbered they were.

The last straw was a night that was supposed to be fun. He had picked Cole up from Lyn’s house and they were heading back to his place for movies and pizza. That had been the plan, a boys night as Hank had called it. What he had gotten instead was the last piece of his world violently ripped away from him. The last string keeping him tethered was cut and he was left to plummet into free fall. A truck had skidded on black ice and Hank had not been quick enough. He didn’t remember all that much between the car rolling over the embankment and waking up in the hospital. A concussion, broken wrist, and bruised ribs; he had been lucky  they said.

Cole hadn’t been. There was a lot of internal damage. He had needed emergency surgery. They had not only put his son’s life in the hands of a stranger; but when that stranger hadn’t shown up they had put his life in the hands of an android. Cold unfeeling machinery was tasked with making sure Cole survived.

Hank had been discharged and was in the waiting room with Lyn and Jeff when a human nurse came to them with a distant expression. Hank new before he had a chance to say anything. He turned his hearing aids off and fell to his knees, he didn’t want to hear it. If he did it would be real, and if it was real he didn’t know what he was going to do. Jeff was the voice of reason for the both. He called a cab for Lyn and drove Hank home.

Jeff stayed with him him until the funeral. After that Hank was on injury leave. Jeff intended for it as a way for Hank to find his footing. Hank found the bottom of the bottle instead. Cheap whisky became stronger, and most of his days were spent in a haze with only Sumo. The Saint Bernard had been a birthday gift for Cole. Now he was the only thing that was keeping Hank minimally functional.

His leave had ended and he tried facing the world once again. He would drink after work to forget the horrors of his job and hopefully evade the innocent blue eyes that haunted his dreams. Cole couldn’t reach him in his dreams so he began haunting his waking hours instead. He combatted this by adding whiskey to his coffee.

His friendships started to erode and fall apart. Gavin was the first to go; Hank had trained him from his rookie days so the pull away had stung. Bill had been next to go; they’d known each other since the academy so Hank had crumbled away a little more at that. Jeffery had stuck around, but he was keeping his distance. He had known Hank since high school and had seen Hank through some pretty hard times, but this was a new low for them both. This time Hank had lost his whole world and he didn’t know if he could pull himself back up from this. If he even wanted to.

Time passed him by in a haze, some nights he tempted fate by playing Russian Roulette. Most nights found him at bars like Jimmy’s. Run down enough that he wouldn’t be judged as well as in parts of town were androids were not welcomed. Hank had to deal with them at work now, if he had to see one while he was trying to clear his head he was going to lose it.

One of these days he would learn not to tempt fate.

[italiansteebie]

Heeey prompt thing (if you have time!) What about something where everyone is getting their college applications back and Steve is just getting sadder and sadder because he’s rejected from pretty much everywhere, but he’s trying hard to be happy for everyone else so hides it. But then Billy finds him crying over the latest rejection (I dunno maybe his Dad even tried a bribe/donation and they still said no) and Steve’s thinking he’s dumb and he’s gonna lose everyone and then. (Pt1)

(Pt2) Billy actually reads over Steve’s essay and figured out he might be dyslexic- but no one else ever has. And maybe he gets Steve some help, or gets him to talk about wanting to do something more vocational at college (working with kids in some way?) but just trying to please his Dad or something like that??

Steve has 6 unopened college response letters sitting on his desk. UCLA, University of Michigan, Penn State, Baylor University (He thought Texas  might be fun), Huntington University, and Indiana State. He should get into at least one, Indiana State, because his dad sent the admissions office “extra incentive.” He starts with UCLA, rips it open as best he can with shaking hands. 

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

We’re sorry to inform...”

He stops reading, already knows he didn’t make it. He reassures him self that it’ll be okay. One is sure to say yes.

University Of Michigan

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

“We’re sorry to inform...”

Penn State

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

We’re sorry..”

Baylor University

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

We’re sorry...”

He takes a deep breath, and wills the tears not to form. He trembles as if he’s freezing and grabs the Huntington University letter, he prays that he got in to at least one college on his own.

Huntington University

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

Unfortunately you were not accepted for the fall semester.”

Indiana State

This one should be better, he thinks.

“Dear Mr. Harrington,”

He takes a breath.

“We’re sorry...”

“No.” Steve can’t breath. He didn’t think it was possible. They didn’t want him, even with his father’s generous donation. He backs up to the wall and slides down until he’s sitting and buries his head in his knees. Silent tears track down his face, he takes in a shuddering breath. He sits there for a while and contemplates what he’s going to tell his dad. He knows he’s going to get shit for it, and proved his father right, he really is too stupid, and he’s just a disappointment to the Harrington name. He’s pulled out of his sorrow when he hears someone pouting on his front door. He runs to the bathroom and splashes some cold water on his face, takes a couple breaths, and makes sure it doesn’t look like he’s been crying for the past hour. He walks down the stairs and stands in front of the door, preparing to have a “pleasant” conversation with whoever is standing out there. He opens the door and Nancy and Jonathan are standing there with matching grins.

“Steve! Jonathan and I got accepted into Indiana State! And Jon got accepted into an art School in Chicago too!” Nancy cheers as she throws her arounds around him in joy. “Did you get your letters yet, Steve?” Jonathan asks, and Steve just shakes his head, “Not yet,” he mutters out in a fake hopeful voice. “Well when you do, we need to celebrate!” And Steve agrees, mustering the best smile he can. He can’t bring down their moods just because he’s not smart enough. He forces himself to be happy as he congratulates both of his friends.

Days pass, and every time Nancy calls asking if he got his letters, he denies, denies, denies. A week after his rejections, a smiley Billy shows up at his door with a piece of paper in his hand. “I got in to UCLA! Isn’t that great Stevie? Now you and me can move to California, and go to school together and leave this town behind!” Billy exclaims. Steve just grins, happy to see his love happy, “I haven’t gotten my letters yet,” Steve lies and tries to not think about how he’ll never escape Hawkins. 

Soon after Billy comes over, he’s got the kids in The Party up his ass, wondering where he’s going and how far he’s going to be “Leaving us behind, Steve!” as Dustin so nicely put it. He denies and says he doesn’t know, hasn’t decided yet. He gets away with lying for about a month and then everyone has received their letters and there’s no way Steve hasn’t received his yet. 

He tells Nancy and Jonathan first, the disappointment on their faces hurts more than the actual rejection letters themselves. “Steve, how? You- We studied together every Monday and Wednesday after winter break together.” Nancy asks, a frown pulling at her lips. “Yeah, Steve. I thought we worked on your essay. We wrote a good one. Together.” Jonathan probes, wondering how this happened. Steve sighs, “I sent in an essay I wrote myself. I wanted to get in with my own work. I thought it was a good idea. Guess not.” He confesses. They leave, looking like Steve had deeply betrayed them, and he couldn’t help but feel like he did. 

When he tells the kids, they’re not sad. Or disappointed in him. In fact, they’re happy. “Yes! Now we van keep using your house for our sessions! And I’ll still have my best friend!” Dustin exclaims, Steve’s heart swells at the best friend title. At least some people don’t think he’s a total failure.

He saves Billy for last, reading seeing the disappointment when he tells him he won’t be going to UCLA with him. When Billy comes in, he notices right away that the mood is not its usual. “What’s wrong, Stevie?” Steve doesn’t like the concern in his voice, it makes him feel guilty. “Bill... I didn't get accepted into UCLA,” “Oh, Steve, that’s okay. We can study together at State!” quick to solve the problem, not letting Steve’s news get him down. “But Billy, I didn't get accepted into State either. I wasn’t accepted anywhere.” Steve sniffles. He keeps his head down, not wanting to face the man infant of him. “Can I see your essay?” Billy asks, walking away, not waiting for an answer. “I guess, it’s really bad though.” Steve shrugs, and runs to his room to grab the original copy of his essay. “Gotta see what was so bad that all those snotty schools didn’t want my boy,” Billy says as he reads. When he finishes, he looks up and studies Steve’s face for a minute. “Is it really so bad you can’t say anything to me?”

“Have you ever been tested for learning disabilities?” And Steve looks positively offended, “Wh- No? I’m not- No. Harrington’s don’t have problems,” he says, his fathers words coming out at the end. “Since I was little, my teachers wanted to get me tested... But they stopped pushing for it with the help of my father’s money. I didn't need to get tested because.. Well, because Harrington’s don’t have learning disabilities,” Steve reveals, and he spits out the last two words like they burnt his tongue. “Steve, I know why you didn’t get accepted, why you have so much trouble in school.” Steve looks up at him, “I think you have dyslexia, Stevie. I don’t know how miss smarty pants Nancy and her investigator boyfriend didn’t figure it out.” Billy tells him gently.

“This means this isn’t the end, Stevie! You can go to schools, different colleges, that’ll have the right resources for you! You can come to California after all!” 

Steve comes to terms with the new revelation and he and Billy take off to the library to do some research. After a couple of days of searching, Steve finds a school in California. He applies, and holds his breath when he opens his letter. With Billy standing next to him and gripping his hand tightly, he rips open the envelope. 

“Dear Mr. Harrington,

We’re ecstatic to welcome you for the fall semester! Congratulations!”

Steve lets out a shocked laugh, like he can’t believe his eyes, and turns to Billy. “I did it!” “You did it.” 

They tell The Party, and Nancy and Jonathan, and everyone is so happy for him. “I knew you could do it, kid.” Chief Hoppers says, looking at Steve proudly. The kids are a little sad, but feel better when Steve assures them he’ll be back at thanksgiving, and they can throw a week long D&D session at his house. 

In the fall, Billy and Steve set off in the Camaro, a tiny apartment and 2 colleges wait for them on the west coast. Billy can’t drive fast enough. 

[josmoore]

𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼 𝔸 ℙ𝔸ℂ𝕋 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝔻 —

                      𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕚 𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚'𝕞 𝕘𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕒

𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪

full name: josiah barnabas moore

reason for name: both names were chosen by his mother — josiah, meaning god has healed, was her father’s name, and barnabas, son of consolation, was his father’s name before him

nickname(s): jo, jos, josie, jojo / sparrow’s nicknames for him are plentiful and do not make the cut

date of birth: may 2, 1995

age: twenty-six

gender + pronouns: cismale + he/him

place of birth: roswell, new mexico

parents: oliver moore + laurel moore ( née abrams )

siblings: sparrow ( twin ) / jade ( older sister ) / rowan + wyatt ( older brothers )

relationship with family: grew up very close with all of his siblings, particularly sparrow and jade but became distant after their parents’ divorce as his father and his siblings all left roswell / tried to keep in touch with siblings but unsuccessful save for jade and rarely his brothers / extremely close with his mother

pets: several colonies of bees in hive boxes out back behind the trailer

𝕡𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝

height: 5′11

build: broad / muscular / athletic

nationality: american

ethnicity: a mix of several, including english + russian + ashkenazi jewish

distinguishing facial features: bright blue irises / thick + bold eyebrows / sharp jaw

hair color: brunet that lightens in the summer

usual hair style: wild unruly curls held back with a rolled bandana / lil’ bun sometimes

eye color: bright, light blue

complexion: tanned from years outside tending to the bees ( read: farmer’s tan ) / freckled shoulders

disabilities: alcohol use disorder / intermittent explosive disorder

what do they consider their best feature?: he doesn’t think he has one, but if he had to answer, his mama always said it was his eyes

worst they’ve ever been injured?: gouged his right thigh open on some jagged fencing when he was running from the cops one night as a teenager trespassing on walker air force base + needed fourteen stitches / extensive second degree burns from a radiator bursting at the shop a few years back / broke three ribs in a fight one time and could barely move for about a week

𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖

favorite outfit: a pair of well-worn levis / white cotton t-shirt / brown leather work boots / maybe one of his brothers’ old hand-me-down flannels depending on the weather

glasses? contacts?: twenty-twenty vision

personal hygiene: clean + showers daily but still smells like motor oil and cigarettes

jewelry? tattoos? piercings?: woven bracelet his sister made him when they were kids / a crystal tree of life inside of wire pendant shaped like the star of david that his mama made by hand worn on a chain around his neck / several tattoos, the most notable of which are an orchid on his neck + the roman numeral v on the inside of his right ring finger + a laurel branch over his heart + hebrew script on his left hip reading לחיות לא במראה אלא באמונה, or live not by sight but by faith

what does their voice sound like?: kind of gruff, the rough around the ages that comes from years of smoking cigarettes and shouting at rowdy bargoers

style of speech: slow and quiet / takes his time talking / loud when he’s agitated or feeling argumentative

accent?: a bit of one, influenced by a lifetime in new mexico and his mother’s southern roots

unique mannerisms/physical habits: twists his curls absently when he’s tired, a trait he’s had since he was a kid / chain-smoking, pacing and picking at his cuticles when he’s anxious or upset / playing with the pendant his mama gave him when he’s thinking

left handed or right?: right-handed

do they work out/exercise?: working 90+ hours/week is enough, he’s dead on his feet if he’s off the clock

𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕗𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥

known languages: english

zodiac: sun taurus / moon cancer / ascendant sagittarius

gifts/talents: playing the fiddle / winning rigged carnival games / mixing a damn good drink

religious stance: jewish, raised in a jewish/catholic household / observes only major holidays + holy days

political stance: liberal

pet peeves: gossip /  fidgeting / lying / unnecessary or dull conversation / tourists / alien talk

optimist or pessimist: realist / pessimist

extrovert or introvert: introvert

𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤

relationship status: single / interested in one ( 1 ) blonde gremlin

sexual orientation: bisexual / not open about it

ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate: argumentative / affectionate / adventurous

ever been in love?: maybe, but he’s not sure he knows what it feels like / tbd / could be rn who knows?

what’s their love language?: acts of service / quality time

most important person in their life?: mama moore, no question

𝕧𝕠𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 

level of education: diploma from roswell high school

profession: mechanic + bartender

past occupations: none / got a job at sanders’ before he’d fully graduated high school

dream occupation: fulltime beekeeper

passions: beekeeping + bee rescue / his family / mixology / music / woodworking + construction

attitude towards current job: grateful he has the income of both, even if it is absolutely exhausting

spender or saver? why?: spending, but not by choice — mama’s medical bills on top of the simple cost of living mean there’s not a lot to save after everything’s paid up anyhow, but josiah doesn’t bat an eye handing over damn near his entire paycheck for her

which is more important – money or doing something they love?: right now it’s the money, because the health of the person he loves most is on the line and he’s struggling enough as it is to make ends meet, but sometimes when he’s laying in bed at night he thinks how nice it would be, in a perfect world, to work just forty hours a week doing something he loves

𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕤 

phobias: the ocean / natural bodies of water

life goals: stay in touch with his family this time around / save as many bees as he can / find love maybe

greatest fears: losing his mother / turning into his father / pushing away everyone he cares about / being alone after mama moore passes and all of his siblings leave again

most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him: probably causing a scene at jj’s birthday and being yelled at that he’s just like his daddy in front of a whole crowd of people / but also somewhere, on somebody’s phone, exists a video of him blackout drunk on tequila and shirtless, dancing to black velvet by alannah myles, on the bar of the wild pony sometime in winter of last year

something they’ve never told anyone: sometimes when mama’s asleep, he goes into her room and sits down on the floor by her bed and just cries until his head aches worse than his heart or he falls asleep

biggest regret: the first time he ever picked up a bottle + realized it was a comfort

compulsions: constantly working / being in a state of motion or busy / drinking

police/criminal/legal record: a colorful list of misdemeanor charges including  assault / battery / public intoxication / trespassing / vandalism / resisting arrest / driving while intoxicated

vices: cigarettes / whiskey / long drives / late night conversations with daphne / phone calls to jade

𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤

hobbies: beekeeping / reading / woodworking / violin ( though not so much anymore )

favorite color: aegean blue

favorite smell: gasoline / meyer lemon / the dryer sheets out of the laundromat dispenser

favorite food: anything his mama used to cook / a full diner breakfast literally any time of day

favorite book: silent spring by rachel carson / walden by henry david thoreau

favorite movie: romeo + juliet directed by baz luhrmann

favorite song: nights in white satin by the moody blues

coffee or tea?: coffee, no cream but sweetened with honey

favorite type of weather:  clear skies / warm / breezy

most prized possession: the family trailer, under his name when he became his mother’s p.o.a.

most used word or phrase?: for fuck’s sake

[dabistits]

To talk about Twice and villainy is to talk about class and criminality (I)

(Masterlist)

In contrast to the fantastical world that surrounds him, Bubaigawara Jin’s backstory, revealed in chapter 229, is completely unexceptional. Jin’s backstory is about class. Throughout this series, a sci fi fantasy where almost all the cast have superpowers, we are introduced to characters who’ve struggled with their Quirks, whether having one or not having one, whether having one that’s powerful or weak, whether they have Quirks that are stigmatized or not. Most of the series handles its sci fi prejudice in this way, by substituting real life characteristics like ethnicity (hero Ryukyu is of Ryukyuan ethnicity and from the colonized Ryukyu islands [source]), gender-based discrimination (including misogyny and transphobia), ability (Aoyama, Dabi, and other characters to a lesser degree have physical difficulties using their Quirks), and stigmatized physical traits (as several mutant characters mention being discriminated against) with Quirk conflicts. Ryukyu’s ethnicity, Rock Lock’s race, Magne’s transness, all the misogyny, and the real life disabilities of many characters who are missing limbs are given minimal or no attention, as these conflicts are replaced with Quirks-as-metaphor.

In this fantastical world, where we’ve supposedly left behind our prejudices about race and ethnicity, gender, disability, and so forth, and replaced them with prejudices about Quirks and Quirk compatibility, Horikoshi made the decision to make Jin’s backstory about class as we understand and live under it today. His backstory stands out as one that is utterly banal. Although Jin’s Quirk comes in later, it’s hardly the driving force of his struggle, because what he’s faced with is simply the unfeeling machinery of capitalism and the state apparatus. There’s no involvement from Quirks or Quirk society here; the world that starts Jin on his downward spiral is one that’s inextricable from our own, one that any of us (some more than others) are vulnerable to. That is to say, he didn’t become a criminal because he had an awesome Quirk that made him egotistical (or whatever people think criminals are motivated by), he became a criminal because his circumstances left him with few other ways to seek fulfillment, and possibly to survive. His Quirk was only a balm to the harm already inflicted on him by the economic realities of futuristic (and simultaneously contemporary) Japan.

A quick recap of Jin’s backstory from chapter 229: His parents, due to a villain attack, died when he was in an unspecified year in middle school (it seems ironic, and another example of BNHA’s cyclical events, that Jin himself eventually dies at the hands of a hero). At 16 years old, Jin was already working. He got into a traffic accident, although he was obeying the speed limit, and broke someone’s arm. His case was prosecuted and likely resulted in a record, but the officer in charge suggested that he may be able to “bounce back”; however, the person injured in the accident turned out to be one of his workplace’s clients, and the clients’ outrage resulted in his termination from his job. Eventually, isolated and lonely, Jin used his Quirk to become a villain, and it’s implied in the depicted panels that he mainly stole. An indeterminate amount of time after becoming a villain, Jin’s clones turned on one another, resulting in a bloodbath that traumatized Jin and resulted in split personalities. After this incident, he turned to Giran for help, who in turn introduced him to the League of Villains.

Systemic barriers

So why couldn’t Jin bounce back, as suggested by the officer? The reasons are many and diverse, not all of them stated in-text. I believe Jin’s specific circumstances merit some evidence from real-world Japan today, since there’s no statement nor implication that these things have changed in these respects, and because this is the frame of reference that Horikoshi and many of his readers are working with. In order to tap into the spirit of the work, it requires an examination of the circumstances and conditions under which the writers are creating, a recognition and acknowledgment of the social issues that may have shaped and influenced their outlooks. Thus, I think it’s important to contextualize Jin’s past not simply as a self-contained example of inequality in BNHA, but as a narrative that ties into the societal concerns of real-world Japan.

The alternative care system.

This describes the system of institutions and fostering that cares for children who are unable to live with their parents (whether it be due to circumstances like neglect and abuse, or because of the parents’ deaths). In 2014, nearly 90% of children in alternative care lived in residential facilities as opposed to with foster parents (which has its own issues); these rates are much higher than in other industrialized countries, which mostly rely on the foster care system. Residents of the residential facilities report strict rules, child abuse, and bullying. [source] Usually people age out at 18, or even earlier at 15 if they choose not to attend high school. Requests to extend alternative care until an individual reaches 20 are usually denied. [source]

The economic outlook for individuals aging out of alternative care is not optimistic. “Once individuals lose their access to staying in an institution, combined with low wages for menial entry-level jobs, many young people cannot stay on the same job that the institution helps them find when they leave institutional care. If they leave that first job, they struggle to find another[...] Those who start working straight after graduating from junior high school and are forced to leave their institutional care facility may be at a particularly high risk of becoming homeless.” [source]

What does this mean for Jin? Since his parents died when he was in middle school, it could have taken place any time between the ages of 12 to 15. Jin was already working at 16 years old, which according to our information means he dropped out of school and no longer has government-provided accommodations. Depending on when during that middle school time window his parents died, he could have possibly not even entered into the alternative care system at all, entailing that he started to work right after their passing. Either way, Jin most likely quit school and started to work to support himself at 15 years old, forgoing high school and college, taking responsibility for his own shelter, food, bills, clothing, and so on. At an age when the UA kids are just beginning the best times of their lives, making friends, staying in the school’s dormitories, Jin was literally trying to survive on his own.

Criminality. 

This is a bit harder to pin down, and there aren’t many English-language sources regarding criminal justice studies, and very little that thoroughly breaks down the process. For details that we might want to know about, such as arrests and convictions according to race, ethnicity, class, mental illness, etc., those are even more lacking (possibly also in part due to Japan’s low crime rate). I’ll do my best to sum up what I do have, and maybe someone can correct me on this. Anyways, starting from the basics:

The motorcycle accident that Jin was involved in, which injured another party, is a prosecutable crime punishable by up to seven years in prison or a fine of up to one million yen. [source] Just to cover all my bases, yes, at the time of the accident, Jin was indeed a minor under Japanese law (although within an age bracket where he theoretically could be assessed and/or tried as an adult), [source] [source] but we’re not sure if/to what degree that was taken into consideration. Either way, the outcome is that Jin likely ends up with a record, according to the officer (or possibly prosecutor) who’s speaking to him. From what I can make out, getting a record from a traffic accident with injury means he was charged and probably went through summary proceedings in the lowest court, [source] though I’m unsure how this whole process would work if his status as a juvenile was taken into account.

There are a few things to point out here:

Arrest and detention (which I’m assuming is the lead-up to that conversation with the officer) are notoriously lengthy and pretty rough. [source]

Prosecutors have significant discretion in what gets pushed through to see charges and what gets dropped. This is one of the reasons, possibly the main reason, for Japan’s 99% conviction rate—prosecutors usually only press charges in cases that can bring about conviction. They can even take into consideration someone’s age, character, circumstances, etc. when deciding whether to prosecute or not. [source]

During this process, when someone is hurt in an accident, there’s a pretty big deal made of apologizing and offering compensation to the harmed party. These actions are viewed favorably when it comes to case review and sentencing, while arguing over fault and general disagreeableness hurts the case. [source] [source]

(PS: The line “you’re to blame as well” makes sense in the Japanese legal system as a facet of comparative negligence.)

(PPS: Given the ongoing debates over juvenile justice—the likes of which inspired Battle Royale—I wonder if the rather harsh results of Jin’s first encounter with law enforcement are also meant to be read more deeply?) [source; cw for child murder in link]

At this point, we have the question of whether or not Jin’s possible record impacted his inability to “bounce back.” This was also pretty difficult to find information about, and the answer is... maybe. While criminal records are held by the police, and prospective employers cannot access them, this is usually sidestepped by asking applicants to provide information about their own criminal records on a CV template (whether or not people do, or can even legally lie about this, and whether or not they can choose not to answer without impacting their chances of getting hired is not information I was able to find). [source] A certain stigma towards convicted criminals does exist, despite the criminal justice system’s prioritization of reintegration over punishment, [source] though as for further information about whether a record impacts someone’s employability and quality of life doesn’t seem to have been studied. Real world Japan’s declining recidivism rate, though not declining as fast as first-time offenses, seems at least to suggest that even individuals with a record can successfully reintegrate into society, [source] hence the officer’s suggestion that Jin can “bounce back” is not totally bizarre, although it proves short-sighted.

These details illustrate the odds of what Jin is up against. They raise the question of why prosecution didn’t go differently, and they highlight the vulnerability of a parentless child up against the legal system. Jin, again, a 16-year-old (who also doesn’t appear to have legal counsel in the depicted panels), obviously argues his responsibility in the accident; furthermore, he’s unlikely to be able to fulfill the social graces required of a lenient case review. As a teenager who’s already working to support himself, without any family to lend a hand, he likely wouldn’t have been able to muster up the finances for compensation, medical expenses, property damage, etc. at a moment’s notice, and even in installments the payment probably would’ve been a strain. For example, the possible fine of one million yen is half the annual income of Japanese households which fell below the de-facto poverty line in 2008. [source] It seems plausible that his inability to see through the proper courtesies resulted in an unfavorable assessment, and a prosecution carried through to the end. We don’t know for sure how he was sentenced—judging by his return to work, it’s likely he didn’t do jail time—but even assuming a lenient sentence, this accident quickly catches up to him. With no one to fall back on, and no one to cut him some slack, a stumble quickly becomes a fall.

Employer-employee relations.

The relationship between an employer and employee is one rooted in a power dynamic, where one side controls the time, the wages, and often the health of the other. A job and its benefits are usually the deciding factors of someone’s quality of life, so employees will work overtime, work while ill, and suffer any number of abuses to keep their jobs. Overwork, and the resulting health problems from overwork are enough of a crisis in Japan they’ve been named karoshi—death from overwork. The effects range from general, stress-caused health problems, to heart failure and suicide; what gives rise to these conditions are a complex mix of work culture, company culture, and common hiring practices. Essentially, workers are encouraged to present a loyal face to their company, and because of the structure of the job market, changing jobs isn’t easy. [source] [source] These facets of work culture also contribute to power harassment, an issue that has received growing visibility in the past decade. In 2019, 37.5% of surveyed workers reported suffering power harassment, often from bosses, including receiving excessive demands, degrading treatment, invasions of privacy, and sometimes physical abuse. [source] [source] 

This drastically imbalanced relationship only receives a few panels in Jin’s backstory, but that’s all it takes to make the power dynamic clear. Within three panels, Jin’s boss assaults him, berates him, and takes away what he knows is the only source of income for a working-class 16-year-old with no family. An accident that happened is equated to an act of disloyalty because the wrong person was injured, which reflected poorly on the company Jin was working for; however, a double-standard exists. While Jin’s loyalty to the company is expected, there’s no reciprocal expectation for the company to care for the wellbeing of its own workers, instead prioritizing its image and its bottom-line. Employees can be fired at their boss’s whim, leaving the terminated party without an income nor benefits, looking at breaking into a job market that is intolerant of repeat job-seekers—even more so if the individual is someone without a lengthy employment history and without a higher education. This short interaction highlights the precarity of financial stability, where a termination from one job on one man’s authority can leave someone—even a kid—without any way of coming back and achieving a steady living.

[shannygoatgruff]

My Brother’s Keeper - A Deeper Look (STORY SPOILER)

A Closer Look - Author’s Breakdown of the Story 

(Contains Spoilers)

So, I said I wasn’t going to do this, but I know what it’s like to read a book or watch a movie and end up with more questions than answers. Personally, it irritates the fuck out of me. While I want you, the reader, to draw your own conclusions from My Brother’s Keeper, I want to give you some behind the scenes looks into the story, as a whole, to help you along. If you think I was saying something else, then, by all means, run with it…I ain’t mad at you.

Chapter 1

Hvitserk is sitting with his first victim and he’s just zoning out. He’s having a crisis of conscious about what he’s doing, that’s when he starts thinking about Ivar. To make himself feel better about the situation he’s in, he starts to compare himself to Ivar, saying that Ivar is the sick and sadistic one.

Ivar leaves Hvitserk alone with Astrid – something he does a lot. He likes to get his head together and figure out what he’s going to do. He gives Hvitserk a lot of downtime with their victims. It’s not until Hvitserk makes a “mistake” does Ivar appear. He shows up when Hvitserk can’t handle what he’s done. He’s the one that tells Hvitserk that everything is okay and he’ll take care of him. He makes it better for him and allows him to room to grieve over what he’s done.

Astrid, the first victim, never sees the two of them together. She’s dead before Ivar comes into the room.

Chapter 2

Hvitserk wakes up from days of being unconscious only to find that Ivar has taken care of everything. He wasn’t strong enough to deal with the fact that he’s done it again. He’s gone and killed another person, so he needed to retreat into himself. When that happens, Ivar handles everything – he cleans up the mess. He takes care of Hvitserk and makes sure he has everything he needs. He makes sure the bills are paid, cooks breakfast, calls into work…he is the protector. He’s the sadistic one that finds all the murder and mayhem amusing, while Hvitserk is embarrassed and ashamed of it.

Hvitserk says something important in this chapter. He says he had a normal childhood filled with love and it was happy. That no one touched him that he just had some doctors tell him they didn’t know why he was like he was.

He’s recreated his past so much in his head that it was happy. None of the bad things happens because remembering hurts – and he doesn’t like pain. He doesn’t deal with it well. His colorful recreation of the past is an important foreshadowing for the rest of the story.

Chapter 3

Hvitserk is in awe of Ivar’s strength and the fact that he’s everything that he isn’t. But, Ivar is jealous when Thora is around. Ivar is angry because he wants to go out and party but Hvitserk wants to stay in with Thora – always tearing Hvitserk between the life he thinks he wants and what he is. This is important because it shows how he’s constantly split between who he is and what he thinks he should be.

However, Thora is the key to this chapter. Notice, that she and Hvitserk have been dating for over a year, yet, she’s never met Ivar. She only knows what she’s heard of him when he has a meltdown, or from what Hvitserk describes. As he’s on downstairs, throwing shit and arguing with Hvitserk, she’s too scared to leave the room.

Hvitserk makes it a point to keep them apart because he’s afraid of what Ivar will do to her. And Ivar wants to kill Thora because she’s his last little piece of conscious, that if (Ivar) can just get rid of, Hvitserk will be free.

Chapter 4

This chapter was loaded with clues.

Hvitserk spends a lot of time talking about how charismatic Ivar is and how everyone just loves him. How people are just drawn to him – how he’s the complete opposite of his brother. While Ivar is magnetic, Hvitserk is awkward. It’s no wonder people don’t pay him much attention when the two of them are around.

When they spot Kalf, he only interacts with Ivar. Ivar’s putting the moves on him and Hvitserk are watching like a stalker from across the table. Even when they get up to leave the club, Hvitserk walks behind them and watches the way Kalf walks with Ivar to the car.

Ivar is the one that gets Kalf in the car and bashes his head against the dashboard. All Hvitserk can do is sit in the backseat like a giddy school girl. Yet, Hvitserk is the one that carries Kalf into the warehouse (Ivar can’t because of his disability). If you notice, Ivar never does anything that exerts physical strength against his victims – he’s more mental strength. He’s got a physical impairment. But, to Hvitserk, he’s perfect.

Anyway, again, Ivar and Hvitserk aren’t in the room at the same time when poor Kalf is being abused. Ivar takes his time and goes first, while Hvitserk is zoning out, looking around the place. He doesn’t like blood and yelling and Ivar makes sure there’s a lot of that, so he likes to leave the room. Hvitserk is just about the power he gets from rape. He doesn’t need all the other stuff.

When he starts having sex with Kalf, Ivar is in the room, egging him on – but Ivar doesn’t partake. Ivar NEVER partakes. Ivar doesn’t have sex with anyone (again, it leads to his disability) and because they don’t dabble in each other’s pleasures. Hvitserk doesn’t torture, Ivar doesn’t rape. It’s that simple. But, Ivar loves to push Hvitserk to the brink of becoming an animal. He sees what Hvitserk wants to be and can almost get him there.

Once it’s over, and Hvitserk is spent, before the guilt sets in, Ivar is there to take care of things. Again, he makes sure the body is disposed of, because it may be too much for Hvitserk to handle and then he may admit to himself that he went too far. It’s easier for Hvitserk to block it out that way if he doesn’t know all the details.

Chapter 5

Hvitserk is on edge because killing Kalf didn’t satisfy him. He’s devolving. He’s not getting off on the one victim every so often anymore. He needs it more and more now. It used to be that just rape was enough. Now it’s getting to the point that he doesn’t care so much what happens to them afterward as long as he can fulfill his needs. He needs more. Each one has to be bigger and better than the last.

Even being with Thora isn’t enough for him to settle his nerves. He doesn’t want to believe that Ivar is right and he needs this, but it’s in his blood. He can’t stop it. Still, it doesn’t stop him from feeling guilty when he finds out that Kalf had a life before meeting them; one of them being Thora.

Of course, he’s overwhelmed when he finds out and runs to Ivar. He has to disappear because only Ivar can comfort him. And while he’s away, passed out from the guilt, Ivar takes care of him, the house, and everything else.

Chapter 6

This is the chapter where Ivar takes Hvitserk to the cabin for his birthday. It’s his way of showing him that it’s okay to be who is he. The cabin is also it’s also reminiscent of the shed where some of the abuse used to happen when he was little. By making a place like that, as an adult, Ivar is giving him his power back. The fact that Hvitserk is giddy about making plans to bring someone back to the cabin shows that he’s farther gone than he thinks.

Chapter 7

Ivar and Hvitserk have a conversation on what their idea of a perfect world would be like. Hunting people, doing what they want. Thora having the kids, and just the two of them raising them. It shows that they are inseparable. And no matter how much Hvitserk thinks he wants to be with Thora, he really wants to be with Ivar. He’s left his girlfriend in the bed, sleeping, to join his brother in his bed to talk about how he feels, his dreams…all the things he should be sharing with his girl. Ivar is truly his partner, not Thora. Ivar treats Hvitserk with the care of a lover and Hvitserk is in love with him – not in a romantic way, but in a romanticized way.

Chapter 8

The biggest clue is in this chapter. Again, Ivar has left Hvitserk alone with a victim. Yudu was more than happy to leave with Ivar but found herself in Hvitserk’s clutches. She never saw the two of them together. She thought she was getting the one brother but got a surprise.

When Hvitserk is talking to Yudu, and teasing her because she wants to leave, he tells her that she can’t. That he’s not the bad guy, Ivar is. He says, “He won’t let you. When he comes back here, he’s going to do everything he wants to do. Then he’s going to kill you because he wants to or he’s going to make you beg him to put you out of your misery.” She responds, “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re the fucking pig rapist…you sorry sack of shit!” She was genuinely confused.

It wasn’t until she starts telling Hvitserk that he’s weak and he’s nothing does he lose his temper and his sadistic side comes out. He kills her with the type of force that Ivar would use. It takes someone making him lose his cool for him to snap like that and be fully aware of it. But once he calms down, he blacks out just when Ivar is there to take over and protect him.

Chapter 9

This chapter shows the dynamic between the two brothers. Ivar is the polar opposite of Hvitserk. Nothing bothers him. He’s in control. Hvitserk is around, but Ivar is making sure he’s being babied and protected. Not even the television is going to upset him. Ivar is in control, of everything.

It also shows how quickly both of them can be distracted when they see something (someone) they want. Their new neighbor makes them forget all about Hvitserk’s insecurities because they can only concentrate on who she is and that they want her.

Chapter 10

Another chapter loaded with clues. The entire time Hvitserk is talking to Aud from the screen door, Ivar stays out of sight. Not only is he feeding lines to Hvitserk and helping him not to be so awkward, but Aud has no idea that Ivar is even there. She thinks she’s only dealing with one brother. Hvitserk is trying his hand at getting his confidence – Ivar says that Hvitserk needed a win and he needed a confidence booster that’s why he helped him talk to her. Even when Bishop Heahmund came around, he talked about Ivar, but no one ever saw Ivar. Even when Hvitserk invited them out, he said Ivar would come, but they’ve never met him. They don’t know if he would show.

Chapter 11

Bishop and Aud were able to be subdued by being drugged. Hvitserk said that people usually talk to Ivar, but the two of them were talking to him. When they got up to dance, they had their drinks spiked and that’s how they became victims. They wake up and Aud is chained to the fireplace and Bishop is being led around by a dog collar. Hvitserk wakes up because he doesn’t like how things went down, so he checked out, but Ivar was there to take over. Ivar coaches Hvitserk along with how he wants to see him punished. Then Ivar gets to be as sadistic as he wants and kills Bishop. Then Hvitserk gets to be gentle with Aud’s corpse. Again, showing the difference between the two. But, again, the two of them never hurt the couple at the same time and relied on very different styles of torture.

Chapter 12

Hvitserk has the illusion that he can leave everything behind and marry Thora. But, he admits that he doesn’t know what love feels like. He only knows it in relationship to Ivar. While he should be thinking about Thora and their future, he’s thinking about Ivar and how he fits into it all. Then he slips into how he would like a house in the country where there are no people around, so he can party as much as he wants (the same kind of secluded house he rents at the end), right before he thinks about how fast he can snatch up the hostess.

Chapter 13

The state of the house is a metaphor for the state of Hvitserk’s mind. There are dishes in the sink and the house isn’t tidy. That’s not like Ivar, who is a neat freak. Hvitserk is afraid to talk to Ivar because he’s scared of his reaction and all these different fears and insecurities – that’s what the house looks like. But, true to form, Ivar handles it with ease. He looks disappointed but gently tells him, he doesn't want this. The violence within Ivar in direct opposition to the gentleness he shows Hvitserk – even when he’s unhappy with him.

Chapter 14

This chapter is what it is. Hvitserk is losing his damn mind. He’s suffering because he hasn’t gone out, Ivar’s not talking to him, he feels alone and he thinks he’s doing what’s best for him. But his true nature is in the basement in a case, just waiting for him. Oh, what to do? Take the woman in the cage, or say no? Decisions, decisions…

Chapter 15

Hvitserk doesn’t have the willpower he thinks he has. He’s blaming Ivar for torturing him because his rival is the one in the cage. He breaks down like a little kid, and Ivar sits beside him and wipes his tears like he just scraped his knee. He tells him it’s okay and he understands. He even asks, how he can make it easier for him – take her to your room, or set up the cot in the basement? The tug of war over Hvitserk’s life between him and Ivar is the same war that Hvitserk is constantly having within himself.

Ultimately he gives in and gets mad when she doesn’t fight back. He resents the fact that Ivar is making jokes and seems to be enjoying watching him break all of his promises. It’s not until later that he decides that Ivar is the bad influence and tells him that he’s leaving does he realize that Ivar isn’t going to let him go.

Chapter 16

This chapter is full of clues.

Somewhere along the night, Hvitserk kills Judith. When he wakes up he’s looking for Ivar to make it all better. But, when he comes upstairs he notices the door locked and can hear Thora’s voice. Thora is not alive when she’s with them both, at the same time. When Hvitserk talks to Ivar through the door, notice how she only replies to Hvitserk. She says things like, “You’re scaring me.” “Why are letting this happen.” “Open the door.”

When Ivar finally opens the door he’s covered in blood. Hvitserk rushes to her and covers her body with his own. He uses his shirt to try to wipe the blood from where her face once was. When the police come, he says he’s covered in blood. There’s blood on his cheek from where Ivar smeared it there. His hair is matted to his head with sweat and tears. There’s blood all over him. He looks like Ivar did, covered in her blood…

Chapter 17

This chapter goes into their background. You find out about the sexual abuse suffered by all the kids at the hands of Bjorn, Ragnar, and Rollo. I assume Bjorn was probably abused, too. This is always when you learn that Hvitserk raped Guthrum and killed Ubbe when he was a kid. You learn about his sexual misdirection and how he was pretty much taught that if you want sex, you take it. You also realize that he lied about saying that he had this great childhood full of love. It’s not until he’s given the truth serum does he talk about the painful memories.

Ivar shows up, outside the glass doors, when Hvitserk is at an incredibly vulnerable point. He’s on the floor, being held down feeling all this shit from his past and he’s in pain. All he wants is Lagertha to let him see his brother but she keeps denying him and feeding him drugs. But, when he needs him the most, he catches a glimpse of him. He’s not far away, but he’s just not quite able to get to him. The least he could do is warn them that Ivar doesn’t like it when Hvitserk is unhappy.

Chapter 18

So this wasn’t part of the original story. I had to try to work it into it, and I hope I didn’t make it worse by doing so. But, folks were asking for some Ivar POV so there it goes.

This was Ivar coming into the facility to take care of a broken down Hvitserk. He had to tell him what to do to stop taking their pills, and how to get himself right so he can get out of there. The story recapping how Aslaug died was important because it shows what Ivar resents about Hvitserk, killing their mother, but the fall out of the accident. They both went through the windshield, and both were half dead. Their mom said to always take care of each other. That’s something that Ivar remembers.

He also remembers killing Sigurd. He did it to protect Hvitserk. That was the first time he protected his older brother and that’s when he reminds him that their job is to protect each other.

Ivar is only around Hvitserk when no one else is around. He’s telling Hvitserk stories about things that happened when they were little, things that Hvitserk may be able to corroborate, but he’s high on the meds from the hospital, so anything is possible. Ivar is reminding him that he’s strong, too and he protects him the same way Hvitserk tried to protect him (Ivar) when he was young – even if it’s what killed their mom. It’s what Hvitserk needs to hear because he needs to get himself together to get out of that place.

Chapter 19

This is another chapter that wasn’t part of the original story.

The key here is in Lagertha’s reaction to meeting Ivar. She’s nervous around him and afraid to upset him. She says things like, she feels like she knows him. She asks him questions like was he at the trial – things like that.

She tries in every way possible to gently tell him that Hvitserk is getting strong on his own and doesn’t need him to protect him anymore. That he’s made so much progress. Having Ivar around would set him back. She even had Hvitserk write a letter to Ivar saying that he needed to try to make it on his own, without his help.

Ivar is annoyed by Lagertha because of the hold she has on Hvitserk. But as usual, no one has ever seen the two of them together.

Chapter 20

It all comes out here. Hvitserk feels abandoned by Ivar, but he misses him. I alluded to him stockpiling his pills and using them to drug guards, doctors, and everyone else to do whatever he wanted. Eventually, breaking out of the facility. That’s why he’s back at the cabin now.

He’s found himself another, young, naïve girlfriend who doesn’t know any better, and a house in the country – far away from everything. The only thing he needs now is Ivar. Of course, he’s not taking his meds anymore, so he’s starting to get little itches of his urges back.

Then like magic, Ivar appears. They have it out. Of course, Hvitserk is stronger now and he can say how he feels without the fear of Ivar’s reaction which makes Ivar proud. That’s all he ever wanted was his brother to fully accept who he was. But Hvitserk still doesn’t like how he went about it. He makes Ivar read the file, that diagnoses him will all kinds of disorders, including Dissociative  Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder). He tells Ivar that they tortured him into believing he is crazy. That he made him up because he supposedly died when Aslaug did.

Think back – Hvitserk made up having a happy, loving childhood. He made up having a relationship with Ubbe. He made up the fact that Ivar didn’t die in the car accident. The guilt of having his brother and mother die in a crash that was “his fault” because he told his mother what was happening and she tried to protect him (only Ivar - she never tried to protect any of the other boys) was too much for him. He did the only thing he could - his young mind fractured and protected his brother, forever

No one ever saw the two of them together. All the times Hvitserk passed out, the Ivar personality took over, because he’s the stronger, dominant personality and was the protector. He was always there whenever Hvitserk needed him, no matter the time of day or night. He was Hvitserk’s polar opposite – smooth, charming, handsome, able to lure people in with just his smile. He was everything that Hvitserk was too self-conscious to truly be. He was the side of Hvitserk’s consciousness that was constantly fighting within himself about giving up their life of murder. He was the side that wanted to take more risks, make the kills bigger and better. 

HVITSERK is a truly sadistic person and to know that both sides are in him, makes him an apex predator. The fact that he had years of therapy means nothing. Especially, when Ivar says if you let me back in, I will never leave again. Hvitserk just shrugs and leaves the door open for Ivar to come in if he wants.

Then he goes over and sits and asks Lagertha what he should do. He’s already got her tied up and waiting…he’s back at it again. But now, he’s complete with his other half.

Though it seemed the other way around, Hvitserk truly ended up being, his brother’s keeper.

@youbloodymadgenius​​ @idea-garden​​ @kol--mikaelson​@mooniemouse​ @didiintheblog​​ @waiting4inspiration​​ @tempt-ress​ @where-beauty-goes-to-die​ @crazyaboutmotleycrue​ @oddsnendsfanfics​​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @ivarthebloodyking​ @honestsycrets​ @xbellaxcarolinax

[anyu-blue]

Busy as a bee

~

*sigh*

I had this big long thing typed up.. it's all gone now. That's twice it's happened. Let's see if third time's the charm.

It was about my trying to figure out how to talk about the shit I've been going through without just dumping it all on someone and having it be totally unjustified too...

I'm mad at my dad. I'm mad at Tevs... I'm mad at myself.

Basically...I'm frustrated that I'm seen as so much lesser than everyone else.

I know it's like 'no you're not!! You only think you are!! They love you!!' ... I've been smacked both literally and figuratively for saying 'you guys treat me different/unfairly compared to x'... But.. gods at this point I. Just. CAN'T keep believing them or telling myself that when the evidence is right in front of me. I feel like I must have done something REALLY BAD and BIG for everyone to pull away so hard... But at the same time... I... Can't figure what it is or how. I've asked too, but the closet I've gotten to an answer is 'You're too much, Meek.'

I know I sorta... Became a worse recluse than I was (kinda I'm response to that. Trying so hard NOT to be too much)... But I kept telling and telling and telling I was available and offering what I could and more... I kept trying to deal- if I need something I would provide in return, just name the price... Did I forget or fail to follow through with something? Or something? No one can think of anything to tell me that didn't have a legitimate reason if ever I did (as good as or better than they have given me) that I shared up front and sometimes in advance with them. I even went into detail about what might happen if I am asked for help on a bad day- I tend to be a bit grumpy if woken up, but will still be there to help and will apologize for any harshness as I am going about it. I do that- but... Nothing.. and every single person has offered and practically forced (in W0lfie's case) all of the stuff I've asked for onto anyone but me. Need help finding/getting a good word in for work! Sure!! *Gives me links to indeed and Job service sites I'm already on/refuses to say my application is in the mix for positions at their workplaces or downright says they don't know if I'm a good worker even though I gave them my sick day and late count and all that fun stuff to pass off or downright doesn't tell me there's a good opening they know about*

Oh such-and-such is happy where they're at? So-and-so Can't hold a job because they keep quitting? *Gives information about good jobs and puts in a good word for them and sticks their neck out to get them hired.. is surprised when the offer is rejected by the family that says they're already okay with their current work or the unreliable friend they got hired quits*... Oh woe is me, I need help and there's no one to turn to!! *Refuses to call me knowing I have the day off, have my phone on, and have said I'm free that day... Asks literally every other person even the ones that demand payment for the job or can only do a part of it.. or just ends up doing it themselves by dropping another important obligation instead of calling me*

:(

The most common excuse for that last one is. 'oh I didn't want to make you more stressed.'

Um... I offered? I was here the whole time? What...?

*sigh*

I suppose I wouldn't be thinking of that stuff or be so upset by it all except for the fact I'm told these things and then I'm shown (and told) this last week people think I'm EXTREMELY lazy...

My dad and everyone else wants me to/thinks I should work more than 3 days a week... Or should get on disability if it's 'that hard.' Obviously they've never tried and seen THAT shit show... I have looked into it. Not only have I gotten treated like something to be disgusted by friends, family, medical professionals, and jobs alike (because it's oh so despicable to be on social security while young and spry- even though I have medically frail on my damn chart I'm apparently 'young and spry'- fuck you) when I've tried to pursue it, also being on it ISN'T a cake walk.. the restrictions. The WORK you have to do (and the work you can't do!! I'm right in the middle and technically can work too much for disability, but not enough for getting by on my own). The shit you have to go through... My own therapist told me some programs I could pursue would put me further behind where I am and I could possibly never get out... And she was the one that pushed me to get foodstamps, so it's not like she thinks they're hooey...

My dad thinks me working 3 days a week and refusing to do more lest I break down all the time is just.. lazy.. unfortunate... Stupid. He wants me to take all these homeowners and car buying and loan classes... Like I'm EVER going to be able to afford a single one of those things.. or think it's a good idea to throw down $25-$150 a pop for a class, let alone spend 8 hours taking one (I'd love to and think they're amazing things, but uh...)... Like somehow it'll 'convince' me to 'work harder'.

DUDE.

What.

The.

FUCK.

Is WRONG with you?!

I get it... I seriously can't work more days a week. If I do, I completely spiral out of control from the pressure as well as the guilt from spiraling and and.. you get the idea. I just do. I know I do. And I found my balance in 3 days on.

It's pretty easy to think 4 days off are, well.. 4 days off. 4 days to play. 4 days of freedom. But... I make things... I've made two blankets already. One more I'm working on.. usually AT work because I'm so busy. Birthday gifts. Christmas gifts. Holiday gifts. Trying to do commissions too to get more money in. Also.. em... I'm usually awake during the day to.. make appointments because my health is just a mess.. helping the friends that HAVE asked for help... Running errands because I can't at night (partly due to Covid changing everything's hours)... Or if I HAPPEN to get to.. I'm sleeping because I'm on a night schedule.. at night if anyone had need of me I'd be right there!! But guess what, THEY are sleeping. If I actually have a night off (which I haven't in nearly a month now because I CAN go over to my friend who needs help's house at 5 in the morning.. after I drop W0lfie off at work or I'd be there sooner.) I'm DOING things. Wednesday itself happens to be dedicated to FIXING my sleep schedule that I screwed doing everything my sisters need or want me to do during the day... It's up to ME to screw MY sleep so THEY can get or have what they need/want... Never mind they refuse (with legitimate reasons) to do the same for me (though I have legitimate reasons I could say no as well, but ooooh I'm the 'bad guy').

*rubs face* I'm so busy my mind and body is screaming at me in pain. Sooo lazy 🙄

But yet I'm shit because I refuse to work more.

Idk what it is, okay? I. Don't. Know. Maybe it's the fact that I'm Autistic and something overloads that hasn't been address like ever and so has only gotten worse (this is my guess), or the PTSD is doing something (my therapist's guess--- which not to derail but WHO ELSE IS IN THERAPY IN MY FAMILY?! you want to guess? That's right, NO ONE... No one is even TRYING to deal with theirs, and I don't just mean the pandemic. Big sister had it as bad, if not worse than I did. Refuses. Dad and step mom knows they do. Little sister scared. Little bro disinterested. 'There's no time' or 'costs too much' despite several having free sessions available to them via their job and Heath insurance- with multiple options- and everyone but little sister making more than they ever have in their lives on top of relying on others to pay any bills they can't keep up on... GRR).. or something else that just makes me become such a wreck. I hate it more than anyone else, you know.. because I have to live with it AND everyone telling me how lazy and lucky and entitled and how 'much' I am.

...

And you want to know what sparked all of this?

Tevs worked a 12+ hour day that ended up having me woken up by the cats that hadn't been fed.

Let me explain... Tevs and I got into it badly after I was continually deprived of sleep because she was working so much and blaming me for 'making' her deal with stuff at home I didn't even know were problems. She continued to explode and explode and treat W0lfie and I TERRIBLY after work as well AND continually told our other friends and family she so desperately needed a vacation and LESS work, and just kept pulling 10, 11, 13 hour days she didn't have to... All while not eating or drinking or having bathroom breaks... and I was DONE with it. I have and had offered to do more, just need to be directed on what needs to be done that I can do while they're asleep (duh) so she had no leg to stand on there... With the rest... She promised to not work more than 10 hour shifts (agreed upon because I have a 10hr shift at work with no breaks too) AND to either let us know in advance if she was going to be late so I could feed the cats, or have someone do SOMETHING to get the cats fed so they weren't deliberately jumping on me to wake me up... You know.. communicate a little more. Do a little better so she wasn't killing herself working. She promised.

Well..

Apparently (new information to me) a promise and Tevs giving her word.. are two different things. Promises don't matter. Giving her word had weight.

What. The. Fuck.

So MY getting upset this last week that not only was she working more than 10 hours... Not only did she not tell anyone about it.. not only did the cats come to wake me up (after I had FINALLY fallen asleep a short while before due to just how BUSY I was that day, and it was Wednesday 😭)... But she also REFUSED to speak to ANYONE and tell her where she was/that she was safe- completely and deliberately ghosting everyone... Until she showed up at my dad's house 12+ hours after the start of her shift in which she didn't eat, didn't drink, and didn't use the bathroom for the entirely duration..

...

I was told to back off. That my upset was unfounded. That I was just like our horrible mother and I was just trying to control her life.

Does that sound right to you?

It does to my dad. I would wager my step mom. All of their friends. And of course Tevs.

Nevermind that W0lfie was just as freaked out and upset... That she actually has a front row seat as to what I go through now/how hard I try to be kind and careful and respectful and relaxed and NOT controlling and finally gets it... And that she's now directly effected by all of it too... And agrees this is MESSED UP as hell...

No.

I'm shit. I need to work more. I need to move out and be on my own. I need to not rely on anyone. I am 'too much'.

Where did it all go wrong?

I now understand exactly why I felt and still do feel unloved. It's because of this stuff... I got smacked and told I was never alone or on my own.. that I had so much support and help... but.. well.. yes I was. My mind and abilities and more belittled or looked over in favor of others to bring up. Everyone is guilty of doing this to me in my family. I won't go into details because it's a lot. Many times.. many bad ones... Often I was told my reality wasn't the truth too. How is that supportive? I appreciate every bit they have ever done for me, but trying to point out where they fell (just like all people do).. I'm suddenly the most ungrateful thing ever.

My own parents rely on each other AND a third party (their son) to pay the bills... My dad's siblings both live with his parents... My step mom's family members live with each other and rely on one another to get bills paid.... Not a single one is forced or really suggested to go room with randos if they can't do it on their own. It was brought up to W0lfie that it's an option for her this last week... But guess fucking what she got that I didn't AS WELL as that.. "We'll always have a place for you here."

I did get that when I was younger and nearly kicked out for refusing to tell my mother I was Trans. I eventually caved, but, HA they didn't believe me. That mess was sorted out.. messily and I got to stay... Lucky me... Not to mention the fact that only NOW I might finally be able to just accept it and not closet myself for the sake of everyone else because I'm THAT done.. yay therapy. I'll accept being non-binary because I can never actually be a man the way anyone around me will ever accept or believe.. but I'm not accepting 'being a woman'. Screw you peeps XP

...

I don't get that kind of support because I'm their eyes.. I'm too much. Should be able to do it on my own. Too lazy. Too awful as Tevs has managed to paint by completely omitting important details.. I can't say things in a few words. I just can't. Because this is exactly what happens... But regardless.. that's all she ever shares. Just enough I'm a monster. I'm sick and tired of it.

Reminds me...

My dad and mom and the rest of our family would never get birthday gifts or holiday cards or anything if I wasn't around. Same with our siblings. I remember. I make. I remind. I push. But... They don't even know about that. About what I try to do for them that gets twisted to look like it's all Tev's doing because I often can't make it to deliver it myself... And when I do idk.. I guess I do it wrong or something because it's so... Blah of a response.. like they think I'm NOT responsible for it and just taking credit... That hurts. A LOT.

...

I'm going to try. One more time. Once more. With Tevs. Give her one more chance to make and keep her word. To not bulldoze and make excuses and talk me up like some sort of unreasonable monster if/when she doesn't... And one more chance for my parents to hear me out. Get the full story. Get my feelings and experiences in return. On Monday I might have a chance to lay it all out. Maybe. I want to try. And if I get the same treatment.. well.. I think they might just be cut out of my life if I finally make it out on my own like they want. (Hopefully something income based will open up for me.. hopefully... I'm considering looking into a different city altogether to well and truly get away from them.. but that would depend on getting a job too.. bluh)

Ah that's a another thing too though.. the thing is.. I CAN work. I CAN pull 7 days a week, 16 hour days without spiraling!!! Making. I am a crafter. If making dresses or cosplays or embroidering or making blankets or trinkets or... If I was able to do THAT.. I could work and work and work no problem... Maybe even drawing..

But with the stress of this job and my other obligations, I can barely touch those things to even get started... Stick in the rut.. and materials are so expensive if I need anything extra I hit a roadblock... Totally locked in... And it breaks my heart...

I'm not lazy... I'm in the wrong job 😞

[canttelliotte-blog]

Incredibly long, overly detailed post I spent too much time on.

Tl:dr AITA for telling someone they were coming off as an ungrateful, privileged asshole who didn't seem to recognize or truly appreciate what they have? I blew up after a series of encounters, they seemed oblivious to their lifestyle and support and how truly different life could have turned out without it. I called them out after weeks of trying to be empathetic but couldn't take how helpless they were acting when I would kill for the kind the support they were complaining about and taking for granted.  

I should use a throwaway because I know this person will probably see this but I don't have the energy. I'll try to keep this short (actually super long sorry) I feel like I already know I was sort of harsh and out of line. This whole thing has just been sticking with me and I feel really messed up about it.  

Alright, so context, back story. I had a breakdown in February and tried to kill myself. By some miracle, I got a bed at one of the best mental hospitals on this side of the east coast. After a long history of chronic mental illness, being on disability for years with medicare, getting an opportunity like this was amazing. I had been on waiting lists for months before my attempt, but fate, acuity, and availability all lined up. A true miracle. Unless you have a family with money or amazing health insurance, getting a bed is just extremely difficult at this particular facility.  

The reason being, they provide real treatment. Comprehensive, attentive, life-saving treatment. They actually provide real care with empathy, actual therapy, psychiatry, and groups, with educated staff, real food to eat, world-renowned providers, and treatment teams that listen and work with you to come up with effective long-term solutions/aftercare plans that set you up for long term success.  

Out of pocket, this place is unfathomably expensive. The more exclusive programs on-campus are for the ultra-elite/ ultra-wealthy, taking celebrities like Selena Gomez. The institution itself is known for its education and research. It is not funded by the state like almost everywhere else. Most state-run facilities are atrocious. a disgusting holding cell, where you're stripped of your clothes, dignity, and rights, fed prison food, overmedicated, physically and chemically restrained, only to be thrown back on the street in 3-5 days with no aftercare, med refills, or plan. Been there, done that, many times, not the point. The point was, I got some really helpful expensive ass treatment by the luck of the draw.  

While I was there, I met someone lovely. We instantly connected and expressed interest in one another. They seemed really cool, we talked at length about income inequality and how unfair it was that this kind of treatment wasn't the norm or easily accessible and how unfair that was. They seemed passionate and bright and we got along great. They were set to discharge only a few days after I got there, so we exchanged info before they left. We talked a bunch while I was still there (my discharge was a couple of weeks later) and decided to go on a few dates after I got out.  

A few days after I got out, I unintendedly overdosed, confused about my meds, and was incoherent by the time I got to the ER. I was restrained and chemically sedated. I was confused and fought so was deemed severely acute, and got sent to a state-run facility similar to what I described above. It was all very traumatic and I shut down once I got home. I was lucky I made it out semi-okay, that they let me out at all.  

I wasn't replying to anyone's messages but the person I had met kept reaching out wanting to hear from me and make sure I was okay. I was embarrassed but it was really sweet and soon we starting talking a lot again and really connecting.  

As I got to know them, I definitely thought they were very cool, we seemed to have a lot in common, they made me laugh and we got along really well. I was really digging them and saw us potentially becoming a thing.  After talking for some time, we decided to anxiously have our first date. It went okay but something was off.  

I didn't really pick up on it at first but the more we talked, the more privileged they offhandedly revealed they were. I know it's judge-y and lame, but that kind of put me off. I've been poor my whole life and struggled hard for everything, it's a whole different world living in poverty, so it made me a bit uncomfortable.  I still live in poverty, on disability, with food stamps, and can barely hold it together enough to have a part-time job, but I have no choice. It's rough. I've been homeless, lived in institutions, went through foster care, and have no familial support. I have one of the most serious debilitating mental illnesses. It's been very very hard.  

I am biased but I haven't met anyone well off who gets it. Some people don't realize how hard things can be when you've really had nothing, and had to work hard for everything. Even simple things are taken for granted, not understood, or there are miscommunications or assumptions made due to the lack of understanding. That's just my personal experience, it's hard trying to explain things and it's invalidating sometimes, it can be hard to relate or connect due to the lack of understanding.  

Honestly, though, it took me by surprise. We had both talked passionately about the struggles of being on disability, the importance of income inequality, how unfair the system is set up, the barriers against the poor receiving adequate mental health treatment. They explained how they advocated for social justice and regularly went to protests. I felt dumb because I did meet them at higher-end facility, but I assumed they ended up there by dumb luck as I did with how they presented and initially came across.  

They made it seem like we were in the same boat, poor af, chronically mentally ill, and 4 ever struggling. It was just a surprise because that was very much was not the case.  

They moved up here from Florida, (where admittedly their life was much harder and different), but since moving, they were being supported by their aunt and uncle, who were very, very well off. They had a very expensive private practice psychiatrist, multiple treatment providers, and an apartment in a very well-off area, that their aunt owned, so they paid no rent.  Their car/insurance/phone everything was paid for.  

They seemed to have money to burn, dancing around being well taken care of and not really having to worry. They were on disability though receiving payments and food stamps in addition, not reporting the assistance from their family. When I lightly inquired, they said their grandmother mostly controlled their finances and they didn't deal with bills etc. They spent freely, getting take out almost every night, etc. enjoying all the pleasure of life without a second thought.  

I was uncomfortable with this like I said, but they did seem cool and understanding, we did get along and I wanted to give them a chance. I put my biased experience aside and tried to give it a go.  

First example that really blew me away was their dog. They had several animals, including a cat and two dogs. Even for someone working, three animals is a huge expense. I only have one cat and while she's my world, it gets hard sometimes. The vet is expensive, litter, food, treats, it adds up. And she's only one animal!!! I provide for her and take care of her, but a $350 vet bill still packs a punch. Of course, I pay it, she's my baby, but it might mean only eating sandwiches for a few weeks. I love her, so I sacrifice, she is worth it in every way, but animals are expensive and a lot of work/responsibility.  

When this person and I first started seriously talking, they mentioned the dog they were closest to was very sick with a rare condition. I don't know the full details, but I guess it took a while for the vet to figure out what was wrong, he was on a lot of medications, needed loads of tests and scans. There were weeks of extensive treatments/ blood transfusions, all in a long, painful, and strenuous attempt to save him. They tried for a long time in the hopes he would get better.  

He, unfortunately, passed away a few weeks after we started talking. It was devastating to them and I tried my best to be supportive and help them grieve. They were understandably at a huge loss. Their mental health tanked. Their dog meant the world to them, I understand that completely. Pets are family.    

A few weeks after he passed. They were talking a little about the course of treatment and how hard it had been and what a long, painful road it was. They kind of casually remarked that his treatment cost over $20,000.  

I honestly thought I had misheard. I had to ask twice because I thought they meant $2,000. No. $20,000. $20,000.Holy shit.    

I just...$20,000 is what I make in a year. A year. Dogs are family, I totally, totally get that. People will do anything to save their loved ones. A pet is like an uninsured child, even with pet insurance, it can be expensive. I get that. If you have that kind of money, you pay it, without a thought, no problem.  

I just... wow. I still couldn't even wrap my mind around it. My cat is my world but it breaks my heart to say, if anything happened to her like that, it would kill me, but I would be forced to put her down. I just couldn't believe, $20,000. And they said it like, no big deal, of course, like anyone would/could afford that, it was obvious, a no-brainer. I just...wow.  

Next, kicker. I  came over to hang out one night and watch movies. I had never been to their apartment before. They claimed it had been super messy and they made a big deal about how they had cleaned for me. Sweet, but unnecessary, I get mental illness is tough. It was two bedrooms, all to themselves, decent space and light, but definitely scattered and cluttered. They had a huge king-sized bed, a bidet in the bathroom, and a super nice living room set up. Big comfy couch, loads of nice blankets, and honestly the biggest tv I had ever seen. They joking bragged about having all the streaming options. No kidding. Hulu, Disney plus, Netflix, Amazon, HBO, Paramount, and at least half a dozen more I hadn't even heard of. It just seemed crazy and excessive paying for that many streaming services every month.  But to each their own I guess.

We were both huge fans of anime, and they sort of decided to venture to studio ghibli. They asked if I had seen a particular favorite of theirs. I hadn't. They searched and it was only available to rent. $17. I nearly had a heart attack. I was like no way, we could definitely find it streaming for free somewhere if we look, or watch something else, shortage of options. They were like no it's no biggie that's what I want to watch and clicked rent. Like no problem *sweats intensely* Anytime I spend money, I have a heart attack and second guess it, it takes me like 10 minutes to click buy and my heart always drops when I do. I overthink, whether I really need/deserve it/whether there's a cheaper option, or if it's truly necessary. I know that's a poverty thing. It's just like we could have easily found it somewhere for free with a little effort!  

We go to order food, we both have celiac so finding takeout is a chore. They knew the area better so I was trusting them. They were very adamant about ordering expensive sushi. It was $36 for just one of the things they wanted. Not including delivery or tips or fees or anything else, which included appetizers and drinks, the whole nine. I wasn't feeling sushi. They were like fine, we'll order from two separate places then. Double the delivery fee, not something I ever do, it would be cheaper finding a place together, I could get something small and affordable but they wouldn't budge. I didn't really have money to order a big thing on my own, I wanted something small, but I felt pressured. I figured anything I got would be cheaper than having to split a big sushi order I didn't want. I was like okay fine.  

They kind of seemed annoyed that I didn't just give in and get sushi. They were a little short with me, didn't give me many options of other places, and were weirdly controlling, not letting me look at their phone to find something. I kind of gave up and said like just a burger is fine. I figured it would be cheap and filling, probably $20 max. I didn't take into consideration that they live in an extremely expensive area. It ended up being almost $30, plus tip. For a burger. I almost wanted to cry. I would have picked somewhere else cheaper given the option. They didn't even tell me the price until after they ordered it. I was like oh how much like $15 and they were so casual like oh no, $30 with tip. When it arrived, it was cold and disgusting, really inedible. I picked at the fries, which gave me a stomach ache as they were not gluten-free friendly and had been cross-contaminated in the fryer. I assumed they picked a place that they knew was safe.  

When I wasn't eating, they asked if it was bad. I said yeah and they were like oh well just order something else. Like no, I can't afford anything else, it doesn't work like that. I was like no it's fine I'm not really that hungry. I wanted to say, I trusted you, and you kinda fucked me. I guess they picked that place because there was a gluten-free brownie sundae (prepackaged and not cross-contaminated) on the menu that they really wanted. Obviously more important.  

My stomach ached all night. They ate their food happily. No big deal to them, $30 wasted on food I didn't really want, that I couldn't end up eating and got me sick. If it were them, they would have just ordered something else. No big deal to them. It was more important they got their brownie sundae and expensive sushi than making sure I was able to get something edible. Didn't matter that was half my grocery money for the week. Bologna sandwiches it'll have to be then. Awesome.  

We spent the night talking, I didn't let on to how sick I was or that I was upset about not being able to choose food. They picked all the movies. I wanted to go home, but it just got later and later, one more movie I just *needed* to see. I asked them several times as the clock was ticking if it was getting too late to drive me home. No, no they were fine. Let's just watch another one. Then casually, they went to their room and brought out their night meds, threw 'em back, and settled into the couch. I started to panic. I asked again, you're taking me home, right? I guess they decided they weren't. I was miles away from home, no public transit running or close by. They were like oh I'm so tired, it got so late. Just order a car. I pulled up uber, $25. That would definitely overdraft my account.  

Thankfully, after they saw me sweating and looking panicked, they were like, oh, I feel so bad, I'll order the uber for you. (If they hadn’t, I would have had to explain like, getting home on my own wasn't the plan nor was staying the night. If they thought I would be cool with just staying, they should have said something, if they wanted me to stay, it should have been a discussion, not a surprise.)  

I just felt really disrespected. I was simultaneously hungry and sick from dinner, broke and unprepared to stay over with no prior discussion. I didn't have meds, my cat didn't have food out, I was blindsided and essentially stranded/put in an awkward position. They didn't consider that it might be stressful or beyond my limitations to get home. Being able to just roll with punches isn't financially feasible for everyone. It just felt like they were self-centered and inconsiderate. The whole night was what they wanted, what they wanted to eat, where they wanted to order from, what they wanted to watch, changing plans to what was convenient for them without any regard toward how it might impact me. Just inconsiderate and self-centered behavior.  

We did keep talking though, I just sort of chalked it up to miscommunication and sort of beat myself up for not speaking up. It was weird though, kept just casually mentioning shit that was so privileged and complaining about shit that made them sound so ungrateful. I don't think they realized how it came across, just completely oblivious to their access to resources and not appreciating their position or supports.  

They started talking about starting ketamine treatments to combat their ongoing depression. They had received them in the past and went on about how life-changing and helpful it was, and that everyone should try it. Now, being on disability (and even with most insurances) the treatments are not covered. The clinics that administer them are all out of pocket, bougie as fuck, and extremely expensive.  

They talked about having several rounds in the past like it was nothing. It's easily $250-400 a pop and they were going 1-2x a week for a long time. They kept talking about all their options like what a painstaking burden. Should they start with lozenges and work up to IV clinic or ask for patches, and start that way. They wanted to work up to twice a week again but their family was giving pushback. They wanted me to agree with them, saying it was so unfair and lame and unreasonable/closeminded of their family for not immediately agreeing. The same family that would be footing the bill.  No, not unfair or unreasonable at all. You sound privileged as fuck.  

I was super bothered they were endlessly going on about it and complaining about pushback and asking me to agree with them. My treatment-resistant depression hasn't responded to anything, I've been on every waiting list for MDMA-assisted treatment whenever they pop up but never been selected due to demand and availability. Even ECT is too expensive and not covered. I'd kill for an opportunity like that! And it wasn't even like their family was saying no, they were discussing it in family therapy and seriously considering it.  

They talked about it so nonchalantly and kept going on and on about how amazing it was. Like great, tell me all about something else I'll never be able to afford. I'm sure Paris is great, and backpacking across Europe is awesome, like please do tell me more.  

I finally mentioned like okay that sounds great, will never able to afford it, glad it's so helpful They told me that I could just buy it off the street. That's what they used to do occasionally. It's only a couple hundred dollars and you get way more. Like oh okay. Let me just not pay a third of my rent in the hopes that this jam band kids ketamine isn't fentanyl or some shit and maybe have a shot at not wanting to kill myself for a week, you know on the off chance it works. Sounds great, super safe, much more affordable. And like as ridiculous as it was to offer that as an alternative, that still wouldn't be something I could afford! They just came off so clueless and privileged and oblivious.

What really got me was how they eventually talked about their family. They did weekly family therapy with their aunt and uncle and occasionally their dad since moving up here. They stayed with their aunt and uncle (lived down the street) more often than not so they weren't alone. This was encouraged/appreciated/welcomed. They did activities together regularly to help with depression and loneliness/ managing symptoms. They had their grandma and brother, whom they saw often and cherished greatly. They portrayed the relationships as really solid and important. I thought wow, truly wholesome and wonderful.  They seemed so loved, close, connected, cared for, and supported. Across the board, they had support.  

But then tables would turn. They complained often their family was too close, too conservative, and not understanding. They didn't want them so involved in their life, their treatment, decision-making, and recovery process. They resented the support, complained they weren't a kid and were capable/in sound mind to make decisions/have control of their life. I tried to listen and be understanding but I didn't get it. They came off almost like a spoiled, ungrateful teenager.  

You're getting help, love, and support all around, everyone wants to support you and see you do well and will give whatever that takes. Like legitimately whatever ?!?  You don't have to work, pay for anything, and it is made sure you don't have to struggle for anything. Anything you need, you've got.  

I get the concept that having family so close/involved could be crippling or invasive or just downright unproductive. But it was such a slap in the face they would complain to me of all people about having that kind of support.  

Family/support is such a foreign concept to me personally. Like I said, I grew up in foster care. I've never had family involved, healthy relationships, or any sort of support like that. The concept of calling your aunt when you're sad and she offers kind words, support, and tells you to come over to do something fun? Like, can't relate. I could only take so much of them complaining about being taken care of.  

Living with extreme mental illness, not being able to work for periods of time, living solely on disability paychecks and food stamps is damn is impossible to survive, especially where we live. Without the help they were being given, they wouldn't be able to survive. The cost of living is out of control, you can't even rent a room with a single disability payment. I know, I'm doing it. It takes everything for me to keep a part-time job, barely making enough to make ends meet. But if I don't. I'm homeless again. No matter what, no matter how bad symptoms get. And I have one of the hardest, most debilitating mental illnesses. I don't have any other choice.  

Their aunt would pay for them to go to school or learn a trade or anything they wanted. They have a world-renowned private practice doctor that prescribes them literally anything they could want or need to help and they have a great bond/ working relationship. I have a psych who can barely remember my name and sees me for 5-15 minutes maybe once or twice a month. I was asking for medications recently to get through a hard time, nothing serious, but my state-assigned psych does not prescribe benzos. Period. Neither does my PCP. It's state rehab or psych facility for me or bust. Another thing they take for granted. They almost bragged to me about immediately getting two heavy-duty benzos and another maintenance medication,  just by saying their panic attacks were slighting increasing. Meanwhile. I was at risk for DT's after relapsing and begging for basic Librium to maybe not die and was denied.  

The real reality of being on disability is the bare minimum or bad treatment. My psychologist is thankfully amazing but it took 10 years and hitting absolute rock bottom and being homeless to find her. She's a diamond in the rough but only works with the sickest of the sick. I would be in a state institution right now if it weren't for her and I avoided it by the skin of my teeth.  

So here's where I'm probably the asshole. After weeks, I broke. We were texting as usual and they started to sort of mope and complain. They were venting about having a hard time again and how symptoms were bad and there was just nothing they could do and it was so hard. They started going on about how helpless they were and how there was no opportunity to get better and everything was just super hard and impossible for them and how rough they had it. Their family was checking in on them too much and they were annoyed at them for being concerned and that they had no options and no chance and everything was just so hard and impossible.  

I understand, that's depression. I'm pretty empathetic and understanding and have been up to this point but it just felt like the rich person complaining to the homeless guy sleeping on the street, how awful it was they forgot their umbrella that day, and how unfortunate it was to be getting wet. I just wanted to scream. If you're anxious take your benzos, take your other meds! Call your aunt. Text your on call therapist. Call your fancy psych who answers night and day. Utilize any of the resources you have and all the support you are given!    

I was just tired of it. Things in my life have been super difficult, especially lately, and I have to figure it out alone. The voices were getting loud again which lead to a bad relapse that went off the rails, which I had to pull out of completely unassisted. I am in between jobs, my housing isn't stable, my bank accounts are low, my mental health is chronic and very severe, my treatment team was threatening to section me if I didn't reel it in. Things were bad. But I deal with it, alone.    

I know it was wrong of me, but I couldn't take it. They have everything to help themselves!!! They could go to a fancy hospital, they could ask all their supports for help! They would receive the best care. All the medicines, the best treatment. Anything.  

I basically kind of spelled it out for them. You have privilege, you have support, you have money, resources, a great treatment team, family, everything... please for the love of God, USE IT! You wouldn't have to worry about losing your job going into treatment, you wouldn't lose your housing. You wouldn't have to worry about falling behind on bills. You'd be fine.  

How can you not see or appreciate all you have and or see how oblivious and privileged you come across and how hurtful that is? You're complaining to the wrong person.

I went on a bit too long. I was definitely coming from a place of hurt, mental illness, and jealousy. I wasn't trying to make them feel bad, I just wanted them to understand. That kind of support would make all the difference for so many that are struggling. They are sitting with gallons of water around them, complaining to be inconsolably parched and that don't know what to do, all while sort of offhandedly bragging about how much water they have and how they can easily get more. I've been carefully conserving a 16 oz Poland spring bottle, rationing for weeks not knowing if/when I will be able to refill. They aren't alone, expected to make it on just disability. They weren't recognizing their position, how they were coming across, how hurtful that was. I didn't get anyone to catch me, love me, support me. This is the real reality of living with extreme mental illness on disability looks like without that opportunity or support. This is hard fucking work. We are not the same. You got lucky. Now do something with it.

They ended up calling me a dick, saying I didn't understand, that I was being cruel and mean for no reason. We haven't talked since. I do feel bad, I just couldn't take it anymore.  

So if you made it this far, lay it on me, AITA?      

[giftofshewbread]

HERE IT COMES !

 By Daymond DuckPublished on: January 30, 2021

It is my desire to stop writing about the election and direct more of my time to the fulfillment of Bible prophecy, but the election has major prophetic implications, and the two issues cannot be separated.

Pres. Trump promised a peaceful transition of power, and he and Melania left the White House with grace and humility.

Here are some quotes that may interest you:

“The purpose of the New World Order is to bring the world into a world government” (Winston Churchill).

“Out of these troubled times [out of the Persian Gulf War], our [America’s] fifth objective—a new world order—can emerge” (Geo. H. W. Bush, 1990).

“I learned to love the New World Order” (Joe Biden, Apr. 23, 1992).

“The hierarchy [of the U.N.], among other things, had called for world government to be achieved in STAGES through the forming of world administrative REGIONS. This was in accordance with the U.N. charter, which encourages the implementation and administration of world government on a REGIONAL basis” (Edmund J. Osmanneczyk, 1995).

“What I am trying to do [to build a global system] is to promote a process of reorganization of the world” (Bill Clinton, 1997).

“Within four years, we will see the beginning of a new international order” (Henry Kissinger 2008).

“The burdens of global citizenship bind us together” (Barack Obama, July 24, 2008).

“To bring about the New World Order, we have to have a new consciousness” [a new spiritual ethic, or new world religion] (Henry Kissinger, Jan. 12, 2009).

Concerning who will head up the New World Order, “We’re trusting that he will be President Obama” (Henry Kissinger, 2009).

“The affirmative task we have now is to actually create a new world order” (Then Vice-Pres. Joe Biden, Apr. 5, 2013).

“I believe we and mainly you [the U.S. Air Force Academy graduating class] have an incredible opportunity to lead in shaping a new world order for the 21st century…” (Joe Biden, May 28, 2014).

“You are about to graduate into a complex and borderless world” (Biden’s new Climate Change Czar, John Kerry, May 6, 2016).

Globalists have big plans, but they are not in control; they just think they are.

The more they reject God; and the more they turn against His people; and the closer they move toward world government; the more they stir His wrath, and the closer God’s people are to the Rapture.

Here are some of my thoughts on current events:

On Jan. 20, 2021, the “America First” president was replaced with a “Fundamentally Transform America” president.

This “fundamental transformation” of America involves the submission of America to a godless world government (the New World Order, The Great Reset, the U.N. 2030 Sustainable Development goals, etc.).

Biden has already announced his intent to undo Trump’s America First policies, rejoin the Paris Climate Accords, rejoin the World Health Organization, halt America’s departure from the World Trade Organization, halt construction on the Keystone Pipeline and border wall, review and reverse more than 100 Trump policies on the environment, stop immigration enforcement in the U.S., and more.

Biden announced support for things (other than world government) that go against the Scriptures: taxpayer-funded abortions for everyone up to the moment of birth (murder of babies), nominate judges that support abortion, allow gays to serve openly in the military, reinstate Title IX that lets transgenders use bathrooms according to their gender identity (men use women’s bathrooms, etc.), etc. Think about this. Through a Political Action Committee (PAC), Planned Parenthood gave more than 27 million dollars to Biden’s election, and now Biden is going to give Planned Parenthood millions and millions of taxpayer dollars to kill babies.

Biden has already cut America’s defense budget, cut the Space Force budget, transformed money budgeted for America’s nuclear arsenal to FEMA, and threatened to fire at least two Generals (one in the Army and another in the Air Force) that questioned these cuts. There is speculation that a military purge is coming to replace patriot-minded officers with officers that will pledge allegiance to the U.N. Here is a link to an article about this: https://beforeitsnews.com/blogging-citizen-journalism/2021/01/generals-tell-trump-we-got-your-back-2649650.html

Biden dissolved the 1776 Commission designed to teach patriotism in public schools and replaced it with a group “to assist agencies in assessing equity with respect to race, ethnicity, religion, income, geography, gender identity, sexual orientation, and disability.”

Simply put, “Here It Comes” means that I believe the Biden administration intends to support policies that will lead to the rise of the Ten Kings, world government, the Antichrist, the False Prophet, tracking everyone, godlessness, the Tribulation Period, etc.

The shadow government controls every branch of the U.S. government, and, as I see it, there will be a surge forward with no going back. In his first six days in office, Biden signed more executive orders than the last four presidents combined (and one of his officials said there are more to come).

How long it will take to bring in the world government is unknown, but I expect the shadow government to push Biden to accomplish as much as he can before the next election two years from now.

No one knows the day or hour of the Rapture, but whenever it happens, the Restrainer will be removed, and godless world government will go into overdrive.

Here are several stories that made the news:

One, Biden asked a “Christian” preacher friend to offer the benediction at his inauguration, and the preacher closed his prayer, not in the name of Jesus, but “in the strong name of our collective faith.”

Praying in “the strong name of our collective faith” is the kind of reprobate thinking that left God out of the Democrat Party Platform.

Their total one-party control of the U.S. government will cause them to fully support a godless one-world religion and government.

The Bible clearly teaches that God will put up with this godless world government nonsense for 7 years, but if He did not bring it to an end, no flesh would be saved.

The pastor’s prayer is also evidence of a sick, lukewarm Church that tickles people’s ears instead of proclaiming the truth.

Two, on Jan. 23, 2021, a bomb exploded at First Works Baptist Church in El Monte, Cal.

Hate messages were painted on the inside walls of the church.

Several news organizations ignored the bombing and blamed the church for preaching against same-sex marriage.

These people appear to believe it is okay to blow up a church if the preacher preaches the Scriptures.

Three, on Jan. 20, 2021, an unidentified person in the U.S. State Dept. decided that the U.S. Ambassador to Israel will now be called the U.S. Ambassador to Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza.

The person that made that decision posted it on the State Dept. website, and it appears that whoever did it does not believe that the West Bank and Gaza should be part of Israel.

Some say the Biden administration also plans to change the U.S. recognition of the Golan Heights as part of Israel.

Two weeks ago, I wrote that God had a reason for putting Trump in office, He has a reason for removing Trump, and He has a reason for putting Biden in office.

I tend to believe God is ready to let world government advance, and He removed Trump because Trump would have been in the way.

I also tend to believe that God put Biden in office because He wants Israel to trust Him, not Trump or the U.S., for protection.

Unfortunately, most Christians do not know enough Bible prophecy to recognize the danger that dividing Israel poses to America.

According to the Bible, those that try to cut Israel into pieces at the end of the age will be cut into pieces.

(Note: Before this article was sent to the editor, the State Dept. reversed itself on the issue and went back to calling the U.S. Ambassador the Ambassador to Israel.)

Four, concerning pestilences, my last week’s article noted that a group of U.S. doctors believe Ivermectin is safe and effective for preventing Covid in most people.

The article also noted that India has developed an inexpensive, effective, and safe Covid Ivermectin treatment kit.

On Jan. 19, 2021, it was reported that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has upgraded Ivermectin from “against the drug” to “not for or against the drug.”

According to the article, this opens the door for doctors to feel safe in prescribing it and for the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to approve it for emergency use if they choose to do so.

I found Ivermectin searching “Ivermectin for humans” at amazon.com.

There is also an apple-flavored paste, and a reader told me about a nurse that puts it in peanut butter.

I am just passing this information on for people to make their own decision.

Five, concerning persecution, much of the hatred that has been dumped on Trump over the last 4 years is now being directed toward those that voted for him.

Since Jan. 15, 2021, more than 22,000 people have signed a petition to have Franklin Graham fired from Samaritan’s Purse and the Billy Graham Evangelistic Assoc. for supporting Pres. Trump.

On Jan. 20, 2021, the Daily Beast published an article calling for a new “secret police” force to spy on Trump supporters because the FBI and NSA will not sufficiently punish these Americans.

Many Christians and conservatives are expressing concern that Biden’s support for the LGBTQ agenda (biological males in women’s bathrooms, etc.), and Pelosi’s rule that people in Congress are not allowed to say man, woman, etc., will lead to people being denounced as homophobes, etc. One reader e-mailed me to say there will be a tremendous effort to pervert the children that are not killed by abortion.

It has been reported that Katie Couric is calling for Trump supporters to be deprogrammed in re-education camps and for members of Congress that question the accuracy of the election to be punished. This could pit brother against brother just like Jesus said because the left wants to silence and shame those that disagree with them.

On Jan. 20, 2021, it was reported that former FBI Director James Comey said the Republican Party “needs to be burned down or changed.” He asked, “Who would want to be part of an organization that at its core is built on lies and racism and know-nothingism?” Comey is a proven liar, and there is evidence that he used false evidence to protect Hillary Clinton when she destroyed thousands of e-mails.

On Jan. 21, 2021, it was reported that a columnist for the Washington Post is calling for Fox News to be kicked off the air for “radicalizing people and setting them on the path of violence and sedition.”

I pray that Jesus will Rapture the Church off the earth before the persecution gets too bad, but judgment must begin at the house of God (I Pet. 4:17).

It falls on believers first, and it falls harder on unbelievers second (persecution of the Church signifies a greater persecution is coming on the lost).

Six, after constantly condemning Trump’s handling of Covid and claiming that he (Biden) will vaccinate a million people a day, concerning Covid, on Jan. 23, 2021, Biden said there is “nothing we can do about the trajectory.”

He added, “In the next few months, masks, not vaccinations, are the single best defense against Covid.”

Seven, concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog in the latter years and latter days, on Jan. 20 it was reported that a senior Israeli official said if Biden returns to the same terms of Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran, Israel will have nothing to discuss with him.

Biden is clearly interested in returning to the deal but said Iran must start complying first.

To summarize this article, concerning world government, I am not like Chicken Little, who claimed the sky is falling (world government indicates many good things such as the approaching rapture; reign of Jesus; peace, justice, and righteousness on earth; etc.), but I am saying get prepared because here it comes.

Some are saying a police state and persecution are coming.

U.S. Josh Hawley recently said, “You can go to church now, but you may not be allowed to go to the church of your choice in two years.”

As far as many of you are concerned, your pastor will never tell you about these things, so I suggest that a good place to get started is hischannel.com.

Finally, if you want to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

[collectablecorner]

SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity supports the entire Armed Forces family. It is a UK non-profit charity that provides long life support to individuals who are currently serving or have served within the British Armed Forces and their families. This impressive organization has been operating since 1885 and was founded by Major James Gildea. Today SSAFA boasts of 5,000 volunteers to help upwards of   people every year and is the UK's oldest national tri-service Armed Forces charity.



Why is Collectable Corner choosing to support SSAFA?

The problem people tend to have when it comes to charitable donations and fundraising is not knowing how much of the donors funds are reaching the desired goal of helping someone in need. While we can't speak for the charities themselves, we (myself and my family) can talk about our experience with SSAFA and why we're confident that the money gets exactly to where it is needed the most.

Brian Cook, a loving husband, father, great grandfather and (my) grandad served in the Royal Air Force (RAF) and was a part of the Christmas Island nuclear bomb tests in the 1950's which exposed the soldiers to radiation due to being closer to the bombs than any human should ever be. Today only a handful of the Suicide Squad Veterans are still alive. Almost (if not all) of the soldiers involved died through multiple various cancers and ill health such as chronic arthritis and heart, lung, liver diseases. There is evidence to support the fact that these health conditions can be directly related to what the soldiers were made to do. But not only has it affected the veterans themselves but their families genetics has also caused numerous health problems generation after generation. This will carry on for generations to come also and the UK is one of the only countries involved to not accept these findings and therefore the support for these individuals and families has been lacking. Unfortunately Brian (grandad) was no different, neither is his family.

In January 2018, Brian fell ill and was taken to hospital where within three days of admittance was diagnosed with late stage liver and lung cancer, all that could be done was to make him as comfortable as possible. Over the course of the following four days we prepared for his return home. We gave a sofa away from our living room to make room for the hospital bed due to Brian losing the use of his legs, and we turned a downstairs room into a bathroom. Monday came round and Brian had been in hospital for 7 days, Monday to Monday. He arrived home via hospital transport and we got him settled in as best we could. Grandad always wanted to die at home my grandmother tells me. At 3am tuesday morning, after being home for around 10 hours Brian, my grandmother's husband, my mother's father, and my very special grandad passed away. It was, as anyone who has lost a loved one will know, devastating. It all happened so fast.

During the period between Brian's death and his funeral service SSAFA actually offered us money towards the cost, which we refused based on the fact we would rather it had gone to someone more in need than ourselves, but it stuck with us in our hearts and minds. What we learned is that SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity, gets the money and help to the people who really need it. We didn't expect nor ask for it either. At this period in Collectable Corner  didn't exist, what existed was another hobby project that never worked out but a vow was made by myself to use the public platform to raise donations for SSAFA in loving memory of RAF Veteran Brian Cook. Now after a couple of years of hard work, dedication and grind, Collectable Corner, i am elated to tell you is working out and in a position to honour that vow and may he rest in peace.

Who does SSAFA help? And how does it help?

SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity helps people in a variety of ways.

For currently serving personnel and their families provides:

Support in service communities

SSAFA has a network of volunteers on Army, RAF, and Naval bases in the UK and around the world who give local support.

Housing

Housing for wounded, injured, and sick serving personnel and their famiies SSAFA Norton House, Stanford Hall provide home-from-home accommodation for families visiting wounded, injured, sick service or ex-service personnel and outpatients. SSAFA also provides day-to-day management of Fisher House UK at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham (QEHB).

Mentoring for service leavers

SSAFA's mentoring scheme was set up in 2011 and supports those transitioning out of the Forces. SSAFA's volunteer mentors provide support to wounded, injured, and sick leavers through a long-term 'one-to-one' relationship that underpins the transition from the military. SSAFA Mentoring is nationally accredited by the Mentoring and Befriending Foundation.

Adoption for military families

SSAFA is a registered adoption agency dedicated to helping military families through the adoption process.

Additional need and disabilities support

SSAFA provide specialised support to military families with additional needs including their Forces Additional Needs and Disability Forum (FANDF).

Short breaks for children and young people with additional needs from Forces families

SSAFA coordinates holidays and events that focus on offering new experiences and activities for children and young people from services families.

Stepping Stone Homes for women and their children with a service connection

Stepping Stone Homes provides short-term supported accommodation, help, and advice during difficult times. Female spouses and partners of serving or ex-service personnal, along with their dependent children are all eligible to stay there.

Professional health care

SSAFA's professional health care staff provide patient-focussed care to military families worldwide.

Personal support and social work for the RAF

Working alongside the RAF, but outside the Chain of Command, SSAFA staff provide support for RAF personnel and their families worldwide. 

Independent Service Custody Visiting

SSAFA provides independent oversight of Army Service Custody facilities.

 

Support available to veterans and their families:

Housing advice

SSAFA offers practical housing advice and support to Armed Forces veterans and their dependents including guidance around housing benefits and accessing social housing.

Debt advice

SSAFA can help veterans to get advice on dealing with debt when they have fallen behind on their bills or repayments to credit cards and are struggling to get by or at risk of losing their home.

Mobility assistance

SSAFA volunteers seek financial assistance for veterans to help maintain mobility and independence at home. Trained volunteers can help veterans get mobility equipment such as Electronically Powered Vehicles (EPV) or mobility scooters, stair lifts, riser and recliner chairs.

Providing household goods

SSAFA can provide veterans with essential household items, including white and brown goods.

Support for homeless veterans

SSAFA has a range of specialist services to support veterans who are homeless or facing homelessness.

Joining Forces

SSAFA's partnership with Age UK to improve the lives of veterans born before 1950.

Gurkha services

Providing tailored support for Gurkhas and their families who live in the UK.

Glasgow's Helping Heroes

Glasgow's Helping Heroes' is an award-winning service provided by SSAFA in partnership with Glasgow City Council for current and former members of the Armed Forces and their dependants or carers who live, work, or wish to relocate there. It's dedicated team work with national and local governments and third sector providers to resolve clients employment, housing, health, financial and/or social isolation issues.

Forces helpline

SSAFA also offers Forcesline, which is a free and confidential telephone helpline, web chat, and email service that provides support for both current and ex-service men and women from the Armed Forces and their families.

As you can see, SSAFA goes above and beyond to help as many serving and veteran pesonnel and their families as possible who have sacrificed for our country and ensures the aid gets to exactly the places it is needed most. To do this requires a lot of time and money, as you can imagine.

Covid-19 and the SSAFA Emergency Response Fund

Covid-19 has had an impact on everyone regardless of if you are ill. It looks like it will remain a part of our lives for a long time to come, heck, it may be a permanent part of modern life. At SSAFA, calls and requests for help from the vulnerable people, such as the elderly, low income households, and those with serious underlying health conditions. In response to this SSAFA has an Emergency Response Fund. The strain on the organization is obviously high as more people need help with mental health, housing, and financial issues. SSAFA provides this support for the British Armed Forces, serving and veteran personnel, and their families but to do this SSAFA needs to ensure it's staff and volunteers are kept as safe as possible with PPE. Combine the huge rise in help requests and the need to protect SSAFA staff, volunteers and those they help results in a large increase in costs which is why donations are so important and critical to its operations to continue the vital work SSAFA does.

What is Collectable Corner doing to help?

We have purchased over a thousand Royal Air Force (RAF)  Dog Tags, Ball Chain Necklaces, Rubber Silencers and Packaging, which we are asking for a donation of £10 per set plus £2.29 for postage of which 100% of the £10 is being donated to SSAFA. Collectable Corner is paying any processing fees and extra postage fees that may incur. Essentially, the Dog Tags are a token of gratitude from us to you for making your donation and helping us to support and help as many people as we can together. In total we have 504 sets of Dog Tags available so that equates to £5,040 in funds to generate. We also have the ability to purchase more should we require them.

How are the donations being made and how often?

We will deposit the donations directly to SSAFA at the end of each month via bank transfer to an account SAFFA has provided to us*.

How will donors know that donations were made?

We understand how important it is to be absolutely transparent with charity work to ensure that everyone knows when and how much is being donated and it is just as important to us at Collectable Corner as to donors and customers. Collectable Corner will of course be publishing monthly updates on our blog and in our newsletter which we urge you to sign up for, along with publishing the donation receipts and sales records minus people's private data such as names and addresses etc. We also have a backend application running on our website which allows visitors to CollectableCorner.shop to view in real time exactly how many sets of dog tags have been claimed.

Share your experiences of SSAFA

Collectable Corner is welcoming you to share your stories with visitors to our website. On each product page is a review section where anyone can make use of by letting others know your story. Maybe it is about how SSAFA has helped you or someone close to you, or maybe you have fundraised and donated in the past. Maybe you are someone who works or have worked with and volunteered for SSAFA who wants to share with us all, or maybe you simply want to say hello.

Thank you... 

We, at Collectable Corner, want to thank SSAFA for the amazing work the staff and volunteers have, will and do do. The impact this charity has had on so many lives truly is something to be marvelled at.

Thank you to anyone who helps us to make some real world differences by ordering a set of RAF dog tags with the knowledge that you are donating to a truly awesome cause.

Thank you to all of the past, present and future British Armed Forces personnel who have sacrificed, and do sacrifice everything for our great nation. You make us proud each and every day.

Finally, thank you Brian Cook, my Grandmother's Husband, my Mothers Father, a Great Grandfather, and my Grandad for being such an inspiration, thank you for being the best and only Father i ever had. May you sleep easy and Rest in Peace.

*Please note that the information in this article has been vetted by and in part supplied by SSAFA prior to being released to the public and is accurate at the time of this publication. Collectable Corner has the permission of SSAFA of the logo to be used and they are the copyright owner. SSAFA is a non-profit charity registered in England and Wales (210760), Scotland (SCO38056) and the Republic of Ireland (20202001). Collectable Corner is not in a partnership with nor affiliated by SSAFA, however we are in contact. Anyone who wishes to confirm that SSAFA is aware of Collectable Corner's campaign to raise donations and the methods being used can do so by emailing commercial@ssafa.org.uk or GaryDavidson-Guild@ssafa.org.uk