#a coke zero

[housecow]

i’ve spent the last 5 hours eating.. does it show?

[segamascott]

[crowlixcx]

Shall I tell you a secret?

THE ASSEMBLY 1.02 "David Tennant"

[housecow]

a rare, non bloated housecow look 💪

[macabresque]

memento mori, ad infinitum

[pboogerswbb]

she’s so me

[knockknockitsnickels]

~✨IMAGINE✨~ You're at a Christmas party. You need to go to the bathroom. You need someone to watch your drink. Whoever could you ask? Observe. Explanations below the cut.

S Tier

Shifty: It's a little beneath her, but sure. She can just get one of her multitudes to watch it until you get back.

Princess and the Dragon: Absolutely. Also could possibly use the weird fusion thing she's got going on to give you live updates on how your drink is doing.

Hunted: Protects your drink with his life. Hisses at anyone who gets too close.

A Tier

Prisoner: Pris is already just sitting blankly in the corner, she doesn't mind doing that and also watching your drink.

Base Princess: She's happy to help, though I could see her getting a bit impatient if you take too long. Still probably one of your best options.

Thorn: Thorn is surprised you trust her and promises to make good on that. If she perceives a threat she swallows your drink whole, glass and all.

Hero: Hero's a nice dude who would probably be happy to watch your drink for you. That said he also strikes me as the kind of guy to forget it's yours and absently take a sip of it.

Spectre: She's happy to watch it for you, but she's also incorporeal, which might hamper her ability to do so. That said, she can probably just de-heart anyone who tries to mess with it.

Adversary : Takes protecting your drink as a challenge and her sacred duty. Beats up anyone who approaches her while she's holding it. Probably spills it everywhere in the process. It's the thought that counts.

B Tier

HEA: She'll probably be happy to watch it for you if you ask but also like. This party is HER moment. She is living her hot girl summer this winter and you should really just leave her to it.

Broken: Likewise with broken, he's not a bad option but you should probably let him have a night off.

Wraith: She's a little annoyed you asked but Wraith strikes me as a girl's girl. She'd probably watch it for you.

Narrator: He's SO mad you asked. "You're not here to have fun, you're here to slay the princess!" (he'll still watch it for you, but he'll complain the entire time).

Fury: Fury gets bored while waiting for you to come back and starts atomizing your drink. She reassembles it before you return but it still tastes a little funny.

C Tier

Stranger: As she exists in her route, probably a bad idea (she's got a lot going on). As the heart princess, however, she's one of your best options (more eyes and hands = extra attention being paid to your drink).

Wounded Wild: She's like SUPER touched you trust her enough to ask but regretfully informs you that she doesn't really have hands to hold it with.

Cage: Cage just leaves her head at a table to watch your drink while the rest of her body does something else. She can't really stop anyone from messing with it but at least she's keeping an eye out for you.

Paranoid: On the one hand he's suspicious of literally everything which might make him a good choice, but on the other hand I feel like he might work himself into a panic attack while you're gone. I'd rather not do that to him.

Damsel: Of course she'll watch your drink for you, if that's what would make you happy! She puts in an honest effort but she's also probably going to forget it on a table somewhere.

The Long Quiet: TLQ is basically just you so idk, what would YOU do? 🤨

D Tier

Cheated: Agrees to watch your drink, then immediately trips and drops it on the floor.

Stubborn: Stubborn's kind of a tossup depending on his mood. If he's already doing something else he's probably not going to help you (additionally, even if you do convince him to help there's a very real chance he'll end up using your glass as a weapon in a bar fight).

Den: Smacks it off a table in typical cat fashion. Seems to feel pretty bad about it after, but doesn't have any money to buy you a new one.

Smitten: Ditches your drink to go flirt with the nearest princess.

Nightmare: It's near impossible to ask, since you can't get close enough to her without your organs shutting down (that said I think she'd probably be cool with it).

Skeptic: I this with love but given Skeptic's track record I think there's a high chance he'll get distracted by some other mystery and forget all about your drink.

M.O.C: Has many arms with which to hold and protect your drink, but also lacks a face with which to watch it.

Wild: Fuses with you into one ultimate being. Now *we're* going to the bathroom.

E Tier

Apotheosis: As you approach her outside (she can't fit in the building) your drink is pulled from your hand by her gravitational force and floats away. You're not getting it back.

Contrarian: While you're gone he dumps your drink out on the floor bc he thinks it'd be funny. He immediately feels bad about it and goes to buy you a new one but he doesn't actually know what you had before so he just ends up getting you a coke zero.

Drowned Grey: When you return, the contents of your glass have been replaced by a strange, murky liquid. It carries a faint scent of blood. You ask her what it is and she vanishes with a mysterious smile.

Eye of the Needle: Smashes your drink on the ground and demands you fight her in the parking lot.

Cold: Takes your drink, then leaves it on a table and watches from a distance "just to see what happens."

Tower: Downs your drink while maintaining unbroken eye contact. Claims she thought you bought it for her. Obviously lying.

F Tier

Beast: Swallows your drink whole. She gets broken glass stuck in her throat and you have to take her to the emergency room.

Razor: Your glass slides out of her knife hands and shatters on the floor. Then she skewers you.

Witch: Throws your drink on the ground, laughs at you, then steps on some of the broken glass while trying to walk away. That's another emergency room visit.

Burned Grey: Before you can ask her anything, she sets the both of you and the entire bar on fire.

Opportunist: I don't think I need to explain why asking him is a bad idea. He gives your drink away to the first person who asks. Actually, they probably don't even need to ask.

Anyway have fun and be responsible this holiday season also feel free to add any additions/corrections you have, bye.

[queenie-ofthe-void]

The Spicy Six Drink Challenge:

(Based on that viral TikTok challenge where everyone adds a bit of something to the King's Cup, they mix it up and take shots)

Hi, I'm Nancy, and I'm going to add Sprite because I feel like everyone's just going to add liquor.

Hi, I'm Jonathan. I'm going to add orange juice because I heard Eddie say he's going to add half a bottle of Vodka.

Hey everyone, Argyle here. I'm just gonna add a little bit of lemonade because Eddie said he's going to add some Malibu.

Steve here, setting sail on this nasty bullshit of flavor we're making. I'm going to add all of the Coke we have because Eddie told me he's adding, like, a pint of Jack and I don't want to have to carry my boyfriend home.

I'm Eddie. I'm adding a can of Monster because I told each person here that I'm adding different types of alcohol so they'd make the ultimate master mix of flavors, and I'm forcing them to reap what they've sown.

Robin: *adds half of a bottle of gin*

Robin: *takes a shot* I'm gonna kiss Nancy tonight

[bobisalive]

excuse me what the actual f

[xinilia]

thinking of modern au aloy. she would spend 90% of her time helping ppl around the city with various mundane shit and everyone is like "wow she's the best but i wonder how she even keeps a job with all she does" and meanwhile she has like three phds and has competed in the olympics for archery multiple times

[weirdlobsterxd]

"I am trying to summon two spesific anons so..." *Mixes grape soda with coke zero and puts it in a bowl with a straw* "Here have this."

-Anon

"ig this is @coke-zero-anonomous and.. idk the other one..."

[alpacinoscontroversiallyyounggf]

[housecow]

Does it take a lot to get you drunk?

YES it actually makes me so mad lol!!! gotta stomach these nasty ass drinks just to get a tad tipsy >:(( not worth it!! i am an edibles only girl it seems

[dandysworldhcs]

shrimpo is unhelpfully helpful. You dropped a glass and it breaks? Prepare for Shrimpo to throw a broom at your face 100mph like a nuke /jk (politely steals coke zero anon) - COKE ZERO ANON!!!

-🔒🐾

[imvirginia]

[dipperpines-kin]

Share a Coca Cola with Bill Cipher?