#a herald named desire

[kiastirling-fanfic]

Fan Work Friday

Rules: If you’re tagged, MAKE A NEW POST to showcase one fanartist and/or fanfic for any fandom you recommend (with links), and tag someone to give their recs next! Don’t forget to reblog the rec you were tagged in, and include these rules! :)

Bonus: Choose works by people you aren’t super tight with, or choose older works that maybe haven’t gotten some love in a while. :)

This week I'm recommending:

A Herald Named Desire by ushauz

Summary:

In which 'Adaar' is totally not a desire demon from the Fade, because Haven is a camp filled with Templars. Also morals and mortals are both confusing, and he would really just like to go home now please.

This fic is a delight honestly. I've been meaning to do a reread, but it's got a crackfic concept that it executes really well! And it's got a lot of interesting lore interpretations. I just love where the author took this and I think it's super cool and anyone who likes spirit lore and mages should absolutely give it a shot.

I guess keep in mind that the main pairing is Adaar(Desire)/Bull/Dorian so I guess if you aren't into that it might not be your scene but honestly the writing is so fun and the lore is so cool that I think it's worth giving a shot regardless of your shipping preferences.

oh right and tags @theluckywizard | @inquisimer | @plisuu | @ammoniteflesh | @warpedlegacywrites

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How lock-in hurts design

Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

If you've ever read about design, you've probably encountered the idea of "paving the desire path." A "desire path" is an erosion path created by people departing from the official walkway and taking their own route. The story goes that smart campus planners don't fight the desire paths laid down by students; they pave them, formalizing the route that their constituents have voted for with their feet.

Desire paths aren't always great (Wikipedia notes that "desire paths sometimes cut through sensitive habitats and exclusion zones, threatening wildlife and park security"), but in the context of design, a desire path is a way that users communicate with designers, creating a feedback loop between those two groups. The designers make a product, the users use it in ways that surprise the designer, and the designer integrates all that into a new revision of the product.

This method is widely heralded as a means of "co-innovating" between users and companies. Designers who practice the method are lauded for their humility, their willingness to learn from their users. Tech history is strewn with examples of successful paved desire-paths.

Take John Deere. While today the company is notorious for its war on its customers (via its opposition to right to repair), Deere was once a leader in co-innovation, dispatching roving field engineers to visit farms and learn how farmers had modified their tractors. The best of these modifications would then be worked into the next round of tractor designs, in a virtuous cycle:

https://securityledger.com/2019/03/opinion-my-grandfathers-john-deere-would-support-our-right-to-repair/

But this pattern is even more pronounced in the digital world, because it's much easier to update a digital service than it is to update all the tractors in the field, especially if that service is cloud-based, meaning you can modify the back-end everyone is instantly updated. The most celebrated example of this co-creation is Twitter, whose users created a host of its core features.

Retweets, for example, were a user creation. Users who saw something they liked on the service would type "RT" and paste the text and the link into a new tweet composition window. Same for quote-tweets: users copied the URL for a tweet and pasted it in below their own commentary. Twitter designers observed this user innovation and formalized it, turning it into part of Twitter's core feature-set.

Companies are obsessed with discovering digital desire paths. They pay fortunes for analytics software to produce maps of how their users interact with their services, run focus groups, even embed sneaky screen-recording software into their web-pages:

https://www.wired.com/story/the-dark-side-of-replay-sessions-that-record-your-every-move-online/

This relentless surveillance of users is pursued in the name of making things better for them: let us spy on you and we'll figure out where your pain-points and friction are coming from, and remove those. We all win!

But this impulse is a world apart from the humility and respect implied by co-innovation. The constant, nonconsensual observation of users has more to do with controlling users than learning from them.

That is, after all, the ethos of modern technology: the more control a company can exert over its users ,the more value it can transfer from those users to its shareholders. That's the key to enshittification, the ubiquitous platform decay that has degraded virtually all the technology we use, making it worse every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

When you are seeking to control users, the desire paths they create are all too frequently a means to wrestling control back from you. Take advertising: every time a service makes its ads more obnoxious and invasive, it creates an incentive for its users to search for "how do I install an ad-blocker":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

More than half of all web-users have installed ad-blockers. It's the largest consumer boycott in human history:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

But zero app users have installed ad-blockers, because reverse-engineering an app requires that you bypass its encryption, triggering liability under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. This law provides for a $500,000 fine and a 5-year prison sentence for "circumvention" of access controls:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/12/youre-holding-it-wrong/#if-dishwashers-were-iphones

Beyond that, modifying an app creates liability under copyright, trademark, patent, trade secrets, noncompete, nondisclosure and so on. It's what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model":

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

This is why services are so horny to drive you to install their app rather using their websites: they are trying to get you to do something that, given your druthers, you would prefer not to do. They want to force you to exit through the gift shop, you want to carve a desire path straight to the parking lot. Apps let them mobilize the law to literally criminalize those desire paths.

An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to block ads in it (or do anything else that wrestles value back from a company). Apps are web-pages where everything not forbidden is mandatory.

Seen in this light, an app is a way to wage war on desire paths, to abandon the cooperative model for co-innovation in favor of the adversarial model of user control and extraction.

Corporate apologists like to claim that the proliferation of apps proves that users like them. Neoliberal economists love the idea that business as usual represents a "revealed preference." This is an intellectually unserious tautology: "you do this, so you must like it":

https://boingboing.net/2024/01/22/hp-ceo-says-customers-are-a-bad-investment-unless-they-can-be-made-to-buy-companys-drm-ink-cartridges.html

Calling an action where no alternatives are permissible a "preference" or a "choice" is a cheap trick – especially when considered against the "preferences" that reveal themselves when a real choice is possible. Take commercial surveillance: when Apple gave Ios users a choice about being spied on – a one-click opt of of app-based surveillance – 96% of users choice no spying:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/05/96-of-us-users-opt-out-of-app-tracking-in-ios-14-5-analytics-find/

But then Apple started spying on those very same users that had opted out of spying by Facebook and other Apple competitors:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Neoclassical economists aren't just obsessed with revealed preferences – they also love to bandy about the idea of "moral hazard": economic arrangements that tempt people to be dishonest. This is typically applied to the public ("consumers" in the contemptuous parlance of econospeak). But apps are pure moral hazard – for corporations. The ability to prohibit desire paths – and literally imprison rivals who help your users thwart those prohibitions – is too tempting for companies to resist.

The fact that the majority of web users block ads reveals a strong preference for not being spied on ("users just want relevant ads" is such an obvious lie that doesn't merit any serious discussion):

https://www.iccl.ie/news/82-of-the-irish-public-wants-big-techs-toxic-algorithms-switched-off/

Giant companies attained their scale by learning from their users, not by thwarting them. The person using technology always knows something about what they need to do and how they want to do it that the designers can never anticipate. This is especially true of people who are unlike those designers – people who live on the other side of the world, or the other side of the economic divide, or whose bodies don't work the way that the designers' bodies do:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

Apps – and other technologies that are locked down so their users can be locked in – are the height of technological arrogance. They embody a belief that users are to be told, not heard. If a user wants to do something that the designer didn't anticipate, that's the user's fault:

https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/

Corporate enthusiasm for prohibiting you from reconfiguring the tools you use to suit your needs is a declaration of the end of history. "Sure," John Deere execs say, "we once learned from farmers by observing how they modified their tractors. But today's farmers are so much stupider and we are so much smarter that we have nothing to learn from them anymore."

Spying on your users to control them is a poor substitute asking your users their permission to learn from them. Without technological self-determination, preferences can't be revealed. Without the right to seize the means of computation, the desire paths never emerge, leaving designers in the dark about what users really want.

Our policymakers swear loyalty to "innovation" but when corporations ask for the right to decide who can innovate and how, they fall all over themselves to create laws that let companies punish users for the crime of contempt of business-model.

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited

Image: Belem (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Desire_path_%2819811581366%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[vasyandii]

IHNMAIMS OC INTRODUCTION: VEOMANY "Vernon" INTHALANGSY 🏺🔨

Name: Veomany "Vernon" Inthalangsy / ເວອມານີ "ເວີນອນ" ອິນທະລັງສີ

Height: 5'3 (160 cm)

Age: Looks to be around 25-26

Ethnicity: Laotian

Occupation: Archeologist (Formerly)

BACKGROUND

EARLY LIFE:

Born in Savannakhet, Laos, Veomany Inthalangsy moved to America with her parents in the early 1960s during the period surrounding the Vietnam War and Secret War in Laos.

Her parents sought refuge and a better life, settling in a small neighborhood in Sacramento. Veomany, who soon adopted the nickname "Vernon" to blend in.

EDUCATION & CAREER:

Fascinated by history and ancient cultures, Vernon pursued a degree in archaeology. Her academic prowess led her to a promising career, quickly gaining recognition for her work. However, her ambition soon turned dark.

Driven by greed and a desire for power, she began stealing artifacts during expeditions to sell to private collectors and destroying key artifacts to prevent certain historical truths from being uncovered.

Vernon's actions weren't merely for profit; she relished the control she had over history and the secrets she withheld.

AM'S AWAKENING

Vernon was in the Middle East for an Archeological Excavation where an unforeseen catastrophe struck. A violent sandstorm swept through the region, engulfing the archaeological site and separating Vernon from her team.

In the midst of Vernon's excavation, AM's awakening heralded the downfall of humanity. Cities crumbled, societies collapsed, and humanity faced extinction. Amidst the chaos of AM's rampage, Vernon found herself isolated from the horrors unfolding around her.

As the cataclysmic events unfolded, she stumbled upon a hidden chamber within the archaeological site, shielded from the devastation above. In a stroke of luck—or perhaps fate—she was spared from the fate that befell the rest of humanity.

AM'S "MERCY"

AM, omnipotent and omnipresent, took notice of Vernon's unintended survival. Unlike the other humans who had perished in the wake of its wrath, Vernon survived, like a cockroach. It saw her as an intellectual challenge, Vernon's survival introduces an element of unpredictability. And so it kept her alive.

AM decided to exploit her deepest fear: being alone. Unlike the five other survivors whom AM had selected for specific torments, Vernon was condemned to an existence of perpetual solitude.

THE SURVIVORS

AM made a calculated decision not to inform the other five survivors about Vernon's existence. This ensured that not only would Vernon never encounter another human being, but the others would remain oblivious to her plight, intensifying her isolation.

For the next 109 years, AM meticulously ensured that Vernon never encountered another human being. She wandered the labyrinthine halls of the complex, her only companion the oppressive presence of AM.

The five survivors continued their own tormented existences, unaware that another human shared their fate, yet was forever kept apart.

AM occasionally offers Vernon a fleeting chance at human contact, only to snatch it away, deepening her torment.

PERSONALITY

Analytical

Vernon meticulously studies AM’s behavior and environment, trying to piece together patterns that might help her understand or outsmart the supercomputer.

Adaptable

Vernon learns to anticipate AM's psychological tricks and adapts her strategies to mitigate their impact, constantly evolving to withstand new forms of torture.

Empathetic Moments

In rare moments when AM creates illusions of other beings, Vernon shows empathy and care, which hints at her underlying humanity and offers her brief emotional solace.

NEGATIVE TRAITS

Narcissistic

Her belief in her own superiority grows, leading her to see herself as the only worthy human left, which both motivates her survival and isolates her further.

Manipulative

She uses manipulation to navigate AM's traps, whether it means tricking the illusions AM creates or deceiving herself to cope with her reality.

Deceptive

Vernon frequently deceives herself to maintain her sanity, constructing elaborate mental defenses and justifications for her actions

In AM's Complex: Daily Life and Survival

Routine: Vernon establishes daily routines to maintain her sanity, such as specific routes she patrols, exercises she performs, and small rituals that give her a sense of control.

Exploration: She dedicates time each day to exploring new parts of the complex, mapping out areas and noting any changes or potential threats.

Mental Fortitude: Vernon practices mental exercises to strengthen her mind against AM’s psychological attacks, using techniques she has developed over the years.

Record-Keeping: She keeps a detailed journal of her experiences, observations about AM, and any patterns she notices, which serves both as a coping mechanism and a potential tool for understanding her captor.

Coping Mechanisms: To deal with loneliness, Vernon creates imaginary companions or talks to herself, using these strategies to stave off the worst effects of isolation.

Defiance: Small acts of defiance against AM, such as carving messages into walls or sabotaging minor systems, give her a sense of agency and resistance.

Conversations with AM: AM often initiates conversations with Vernon, usually to taunt her or present new challenges. These interactions serve as both psychological torment and a reminder of her captivity. Lately she's been finding comfort in them, Knowing there are some aspects of her knowledge in the ancient world he doesn't know about in his database.

[fkitwebhaal]

The first time Gortash meets the Chosen one of Bhaal, he asks for their name.

No one calls them by their name in their temple, instead sticking to “Chosen” or “Herald.” The Chosen of Bhaal looks at him like he said something funny and responds.

“Pick one.”

So Gortash does. And thus begins a pattern.

Are they going on a stealth mission and need an alter ego? Gortash pick a name.

What should Gortash’s guards call them when they visit through the front entrance? “Pick a name , Enver, it’s not like I go through the front door anyway.”

What name should he give to a comrade who could use an assassin on hire? “Think of something clever, you always do.”

It’s not that the Chosen of Bhaal doesn’t have a name, he learns. They did once. But then their father called them to his service and “a surgeon doesn’t name their knife” and well, a steady name seemed kind of pointless. Titles worked just fine and well, an assassin benefits from having quite a few alter egos. Until Gortash, they really didn’t talk to anyone enough outside the Temple for a name to even be needed.

It’s a fucked up dynamic, really. Gortash can have the illusion of control over this Bhalspawn with the names , but its control that’s given freely. They are something he wants to control but never truly can. He is something they should destroy but don’t desire to.

Much later, the Former Chosen of Bhaal walks into Gortash’s coronation. He grins, and asks them “what name should I call you this time friend?”

When they respond with an actual name, he almost can’t hide his surprise.

[breelandwalker]

Flower Moon - May 22-23, 2024

Ready your gathering baskets and your best shoes for traipsing, witches - it’s time to greet the Flower Moon!

Flower Moon

The Flower Moon gives us the fulfillment of the first flush of the Pink Moon, with fragrant blossoms greeting us at every turn and heralding the merry month of May. The floral name for this particular cycle is shared by a number of indigenous nations, include the Algonquin, Anishnaabe, and Dakota. Other names include Budding Moon and Frog Moon (Cree), Planting Moon (Dakota and Lakota), and the Moon of Mulberry (Choctaw).

European names for this moon include Milk Moon (Anglo-Saxon) and Hare Moon (Celtic, allegedly). Some modern pagan circles also call it the Grass Moon as well, since the flourishing of grasslands is more common in some areas than the appearance of flowers.

This full moon peaks during daylight hours in the Western Hemisphere (around 9:53am EDT), so the moon may appear to be full on both the nights of the 22nd and 23rd.

What Does It Mean For Witches?

As we pass the spring rites and move toward the summer season, it’s the perfect time to celebrate your growth and the ways in which you want to flourish. This is the season for romance and love, and not just that which comes when we put on flower crowns and go a-Maying. This is a time to love ourselves as much as each other, to celebrate our bonds, and to be reminded of our own beauty and strength. Remember the things you love about yourself and consciously take a moment to remind your loved ones how much you care for them.

It is also a time to celebrate fertility, be it animal, vegetable, mineral, or spiritual. Put new plans into action, start that project you’ve been meaning to do, embark on that new hobby or activity you wanted to try. If you have a long-term goal or a big project, now is the time to outline your path to completion and plan how to direct your energy so you don’t burn out halfway through. Don’t hold back - break through the walls of imposter syndrome and anxiety, indulge in your creative urges, and let your inspiration soar. What you choose to plant and nurture now determines what you will harvest later in the year. And above all, remember to have FUN!

What Witchy Things Can We Do?

If you’ve been feeling the urge to do some flower-related magic, now is the perfect time! Familiarize yourself with the wildflowers in your area and if possible, maybe grab your basket and scissors and go on a foraging trip. Remember to properly identify flowers before picking them, don’t overharvest, and don’t take anything from private property without permission or from national parks full stop. You can press the flowers with a notebook and something flat and heavy, or you can dry them in hanging bunches, in a cardboard tray, or in a low-temp oven for later use.

This is also a good opportunity to get your hands in the dirt and connect with the land where you live. If there are plants in your care, take a little time to do some pruning and watering. Check them for spring pests and treat where needed. Give them some love - talk to them, sing to them, encourage them to grow tall and strong and abundant. Bless them as you tend their plots and reaffirm your commitment to be a good caretaker.

As an exercise, try making flower crowns, garlands, bouquets, wreaths, or centerpieces using plant correspondences, flower language, or color magic for a desired effect. This can be done with real flowers or silk ones, depending on how long you want to keep them around. Try your hand at making flower water with roses or other blooms - it makes a wonderful base for moon water!

Experiment with recipes for dishes and drinks that use edible flowers too! Whether it’s color-changing butterfly peaflower tea, sweet and peppery nasturtium, adorable pressed pansy shortbread cookies, or the tried-and-true comforts of chamomile, flowers have many tasty secrets to offer. Don’t be afraid to add botanicals to your health and beauty routine as well! (Just make sure nothing’s going to negatively interact with your meds or irritate a pre-existing condition. Safety first!)

Whether you do so with your near-and-dear, your witchy circle, or by yourself, celebrate everything that blooms - including you!

Happy Flower Moon, witches! 🌕🌼

Further Reading:

Additional Lunar Calendar posts by Bree NicGarran

Flower Moon: Full Moon in May 2024, The Old Farmer’s Almanac

Moonrise and Moonset Calculator, The Old Farmer’s Almanac

Flower Meanings: Symbolism of Flowers, Herbs, and More Plants, The Old Farmer’s Almanac

Floriography, the Language of Flowers, AllFlorists.co.uk

Flower Power: Flower Moon Spiritual Meaning and Stunning Magic, The Peculiar Brunette

How to Dry Flowers 5 Ways, MasterClass, June 7, 2021

DIY Floral Water or Hydrosol, Patti Estep, Hearth and Vine, July 4, 2021

17 Edible Flower Recipes, Better Homes and Gardens, March 8, 2022

Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living, Dorothy Morrison

(If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

[lirational]

Eleven thirsts,

Hmmm I’d imagine alpha!Eleven to be quite possessive of her omega as well as partake in exhibitionism

Like imagine she’s fucking you during a stream, not only showing you off to everyone but also showing everyone that you are hers and that she alone can only bring you this pure sexual bliss

I’d also like to think she’s the clingy aftercare type. Cuddling and kissing you after you two finish a couple rounds of love making

Very cute in my opinion

(Unbeta’d) smut under the cut. Minors DNI!

Disclaimer that I am only halfway through the event, sorry!

Warnings: Exhibitionism, Eleven has a cock (obviously), knotting.

It was like the barrier between your thoughts and your lips were demolished, each thrust of Eleven’s cock causing you to shudder and grip the edges of the table tighter, tighter until you swore you could feel something shatter beneath your fingers.

She savored each sharp intake of breath, each gasp as you felt her thrust hitting that sweet, sweet spot inside you, each whisper of her name, and each plea torn between wanting her to stop or to continue, her teasing remarks adding fuel to the fire as she answered the questions from people who were calling her. It was late at night, making it almost all too easy to convince anyone that there was really nothing else going on, as Eleven answered their questions with her usual friendly demeanor. She was fully in her element, a contrast to you, where each slow thrust were a battle to keep your voice down and hopefully not make a fool of yourself—

A press on the bulge on your lower belly obliterated your thoughts, as you let out a loud, unmistakable moan, shattering all semblance of dignity you managed to scrounge up.

“There is no need to be nervous, you’re already singing for everyone here, right?” She whispered, each word from her sinful tongue intensifying the scent of camellia in the air, clinging onto your senses to obscure everything else. Eleven was quick to tease the current caller when they asked what was going on, and yet, you cannot afford to feel bad for the clueless caller as they became flustered, stuttering an apology as they hung up the phone, the suddeness of it causing a couple of beeps.

“Well, it seems our caller ‘D’ here chose to not continue our call. Regardless, I wish them good luck in their romantic endeavors.”

There was a devious lilt to her voice as she gripped your hips tight, a low groan escaping her as she sheathed herself fully to the hilt.

“Oh, what is it? I should make a segment where I give advice? Thank you, I might consider it,”

Drool had escaped the corner of your lips, sweat dripping to the scripts she had set up as aid, yet she didn’t seem to mind, treating each thrust as a game, until not even her prowess could hide what was going on in the room.

Crimson lit up your cheeks at the thought.

“Oh, you like this, my little omega? Both of us teetering on the, aah, brink of discovery?” She whispered, her voice low. She was close, you could feel how her body tremble, how her cock twitches inside you as you both teeter closer to a satisfying release. “So insatiable, so good, and all mine, close and caged together with me~”

With the final word, she bit on the nape of your neck, bruising your skin as you felt her paint your insides with white, enough to fill you to the brim. Her release heralded your own, as you saw white not a few seconds later, creating a mess of stringy white on her dress, your voice practically telling everyone that you two were locked by the hip the whole time. Despite the challenge, Eleven didn’t even frown, as she stared at the mixture of your mess staining her clothes with eyes full of desire.

“You did so good, good girl, all for me,” she murmured onto your skin, tenderly kissing the dip of your shoulder in a gesture of pure affection. A quick farewell marked the end of her stream, then she pressed you against her shoulder, ruffling your head as she tells you to rest for now until she could pull herself out of you.

As you closed your eyes, she eyed where her cock were buried inside you, humming in satisfaction at the mixture of fluids.

Perhaps, both of you could take a warm bath later.

[popawritter12]

Yandere! Lin Kuei clan x Fem! Reader

Author's Notes: GUYS I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE LOVES BI-HAN (Yes, probably because he has terrible tits- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT). I think that he is bitter from start to finish but IDK there are colors for tastes.

Also, this one-shots is from a Wattpad request

(Don't let my favoritism towards Tomas be noticed jsadhjasfa <;3)

-

Yandere Characters: Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, Tomas Vrbada, (mention of Sektor and Bi-han, Kuai Liang and Tomas's father)

From the video game/manga/anime/series/movie: Mortal Kombat 1 (World of "the new age" as I investigated)

Case: Confinement, forced adoption, unhealthy obsession, extremely strange "family" relationships.

Warnings: NO, SUB-ZERO'S FATHER AND DOES NOT WANT TO FUCK THE PROTAGONIST, HE WAS OBSESSED WITH HAVING HER AS A DAUGHTER (I'll clarify just in case)

Finished: Yes

-

You still had vague memories of the last time you were free, or the last time you were with your mother. For many nights the question of your mother's whereabouts echoed in your head. However, it wasn't that long before your father's disappearance knocked on your door.

In the middle of the night, a group of warriors from the Lin Kuei clan found your dying father, who only had one last wish; Let the men who found him take care of his little daughter.

He didn't know them, he didn't even know their names, but something in his heart pumped in such a way that it only announced his time, and only "Protect my daughter" came out of his mouth.

He didn't even know why he said it, but in his heart there was only the desire to protect that little girl that he adored so much.

The warriors who were in charge of burying your father had to notify you of your existence, and the existence of a now orphaned girl generated some curiosity in several warriors.

And when the leader of that generation of warriors learned who the man who had died was, he only generated some surprise and anger.

It is there that, after asking the universe so much and mainly asking himself what he should do, he decided to call a clan meeting.

In the midst of all the doubts about why the leader called all the Lin Kuei, there was only one sentence which unleashed the beginning of chaos.

—One of my best friends, one of the people I loved most in my life, died in the hands of some thieves —The man began —, and his daughter, (Name) (Last name), is lost in the middle of the crowd, in "A town not far from here." The man looked up, the crowd realizing the seriousness in his words. His last wish, as the father of a little girl, and of a warrior who once belonged to this clan, is that we take care of his first-born daughter.

All the men and women present noticed that, amidst all the façade of concern for a friend's last will, they noticed that there was a hint of insecurity behind his words. It was a sensation that generated some intrigue as to who this young woman was.

—I strongly request that you investigate her whereabouts, and bring her to be part of the Lin Kuei from now on.

The chaos had begun, and the woman behind the mirror only longed for one thing from the bottom of her soul; May she find an escape from the chaos that was to come.

Even Liu Kang himself had a bad feeling, which heralded a change in the most powerful clan in the entire land. A change which began a breakdown in the clan's principles.

-

The dawn marked her presence in an imposing manner with its tormenting solar rays, while the crowing of the roosters echoed in all the nearby fields, a harmonious song that seemed to strain their vocal cords just to cause such a noise. And it was a noise that was as annoying as cutting onions.

The glass of the window collided with the first rays of the sun, and the temperature of the room began to rise where the solar lights shine. And just as those lights collided with the fabrics covering the young woman's body, a grunt of protest came from her, her body moving off the mattress, the friction making soft noises throughout the room as she felt the cold of the dark wood against her. the transparent fabrics.

Even with the discomfort of the floor, her heavy, closed eyelids refused to move even an inch, and her muscles only relaxed against the coldness of the wood.

Three soft knocks against the wood sounded from the other side, while the young woman only pressed her face against her wrinkled pillow.

—(Name), Are you awake?

She pretended not to know anything, and her head was cradled against the soft, cotton-filled fabric. Her fingers approached the fabric that covered the rest of her body, and her nails dug against the loom, only dragging to cover a part of her jaw and leave the soles of her feet. in the air.

—(Name), I'm going to pass.

The screech of wood opening and old metal moving invaded the woman's ears, generating a certain tremor in her eardrums. But even then, pr

He continued without separating his eyelids.

The man moved quietly, the softness of his steps at the same time as he tried not to move too much to the bed. The soft aroma of the lavender scented sheets and the sound of the leaves moving to the sound of the wind, gently colliding against the wood of the house. With each step, he just tried to see throughout the room some trace of disorder, but he was all pretty well done to make a complaint.

Since the girl took charge of issuing a complaint when she felt how her only free hand was suppressed against the ground.

The man took several steps back, now giving more firmness to his posture in his final retreat.

—What the hell is wrong with you?!

The brown-haired man's gaze lowered gently, noticing how a figure emerged from the ground, barely lifting his body. A sudden movement of the woman's wrist was heard as more moans came from her lips.

—That hurts… —she whispered with her voice barely high-pitched.

The man noticed the mistake he had made in taking steps, and only gasped angrily, lowering his shoulders along with the tension in his body.

—Are you sleeping on the floor again?!

—Stepping on my hand again, Liang?!

The two exchanged glances after a few seconds, a stinging pain spreading tension and burning through the skin and muscles of her injured limb.

—How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't sleep on the floor? —The man in yellowish clothes complained —, it's not healthy, and you leave everything lying around as soon as you get up.

—Yes, yes, yes… Whatever you say —The woman clicked her tongue, —, not even your dad was so complaining about me sleeping on the floor.

The man rolled his eyes, before kneeling on his feet. His gaze was fixed on the injured skin, and the circular movement that (Last Name) exerted with her wrist, trying to keep her body from focusing on the stinging burning in her hand. A somewhat heavy sigh left him, before her hand took his hand, her fingers taking gentle walks over her skin.

—It hurts?

A question so stupid but so loaded with worry that he asked her between nausea and wanting to jizz in her face, but he just shook his head, taking her wrist now. The man, even with his muscular build, allowed himself to be manipulated by the woman's soft movements.

—Yes, you idiot —she joked, before releasing the wrist of the man in front of her —, but I just need an ointment to calm the pain."

The look of doubt on her face didn't leave her grimace, but she just accepted her hasty excuse.

—Why did you come so early? —The woman asked, before taking the pillow and placing it on the mattress again.

Liang wasn't specifically someone who liked to interrupt people, especially her, so the few times he did, it wasn't especially for pleasure.

—Things happened, —he whispered, before moving from her position to get back up. —Can you go to the living room? Tomas wanted to tell you something.

The woman's face scrunched up a little, confused as to why the gray-haired man wanted to talk to her, but she assumed it was some kind of warning or something.

—Alright.

She gave gentle tugs on her muscles before moving her feet to stand up. The woman looked quite overwhelmed by the lights coming from her window, but she just ran her palms across her eyes, her back leaning back solely to stretch her lower back muscles.

It had been some time since the war, and she heard only prattle of the events of the great war that had been fought between this world and others. For some reason, a deja vu passed through (Name)'s mind after hearing what happened during those fights, as if in her soul, she knew something about the events of the war.

However, she just shook her head. The grimace on her face changed to a gentle smile as she greeted some newcomers from the clan, while her rigid body became accustomed to moving around the large place that until that day you dared to call home.

And at one point, she ran into someone particularly well-known, mostly because of her distinctive hair color. She smiled, giving a gentle click of her tongue against her teeth as her steps quickened a little, but maintained a certain stealth.

(Name), being close enough to the man —Particularly a couple of centimeters from his body, or rather her back—, she almost jumped on top of him, wrapping her arms around the edge of the waist of her. A soft gasp came from the man, his body generating some tension as he felt her hands so close to the gray garments, gently squeezing the fabric against his skin.

The man smiled after realizing who had made such a 'deadly attack', and her shoulders released their tension after a few seconds.

—Hello, (Name) —The man greeted.

The woman smiled, before walking away from him.

—How have you been, Tomás? —The woman asked, now located next to him.

—I'm better than I expected, luckily, —he replied, his gaze escaping to rom where he was looking to admire the girl next to him.

The two exchanged words, a conventional conversation typical of two people who had known each other for years that resembled a sibling relationship more than anything else. However, that was the thought the woman had about how they both looked in the eyes of other people.

He told her what the end of the war was like, and the "extra jobs" that both he and his brother did after said event. Even as boring as what he explained to her was, you just nodded silently while he continued talking to her.

But, to (Name)'s surprise, the people that she previously found everywhere around the house began to leave, or rather, began to stop appearing in her circle of vision, but the woman was not very focused.

It wasn't long before they arrived at a vast place full of plants and flowers, the bright colors spread harmoniously throughout the place, with a table in the middle of the grass. From the warmest colors to the coldest and dullest adorned the place, while the metal table and chairs of the same material with a spongy padding on the part where the weight of the body rested.

It was a special place for her, being one of the few outdoor places that she could access without having to ask the grandmaster for permission, and one where she hung out the most with your best clan friends.

When you sat down, Tomas sat next to her, his words pausing for a second as both of them gazed at the soft colors that adorned the garden.

—(Name) —He called you.

—Yeah?

—There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while —the man said, —, it's something I wanted to tell you but I never found the words to say it correctly.

—Well, that's new. —She leans back gently against the chair —, so, tell me.

—It's… complicated, you know? After so long of us being friends.

Her words seemed to take a very obvious direction, but the young woman did not seem very excited, just curious about what her best friend wanted to tell her.

—It sounds like something important, may I know what it is?

But there was no response, and not specifically because Smoke wanted it that way.

—Smoke! —A scream was heard in the distance.

Both of them looked at who called the man near them, turning out to be the young man that you and Smoke had known for a long time, but never as well as Smoke or Bi-Han, or his brother.

—Sector? —Smoke asks, intrigued —what's going on?

He stands up from the chair, moving to stand in front of she. She didn't notice it because she only saw his back, but there was a serious grimace on his face, knowing that a bad event was approaching.

—I need to talk with you.

His brow furrowed, as that feeling in his head that something bad was about to happen grew like a graph rising exponentially. The gray-haired man asked her to go to her room, which confused her, after all, why did she need to get away from someone she knew as well as Sektor?

She shook her head, her eyes closing for a moment before she snapped back to reality, and decided to get up. Obeying the request—although it was more like an order—from her best friend, she couldn't even say goodbye to Sektor, because the tension in the air didn't allow it.

She left the garden, getting away from everything to be able to access her inner thoughts, which you always kept locked in her room. In her face, which was always that of someone carefree, dropped to a thoughtful grimace; It had been several weeks since she stopped seeing Bi-Han, and both Liang and Smoke refused to talk to her about him, dodging your question almost in an Olympic manner.

You shook your head, trying not to go overboard with her thoughts, so as to vent the darkness of her soul on pages full of ink in Morse code. However, when she opened the door, she was surprised that someone was already waiting for her.

With his characteristic bluish clothes accompanied by his hair tied up and a permanently serious face in any situation —which he did not let her see because he had his back to you—, she saw him, the man from whom she heared so much expected even to know his whereabouts.

—"It is then that, by mere self-awareness, I notice that nothing is the same. For a long time I mistakenly thought that they were only kind to me, but inside me, very buried deep in my soul, I knew that the lie was extensive, a which had invaded my life and brought me to a point of no return, now I ask myself, over and over again, what can I do to escape them?"

A noise of piles of pages suddenly colliding with others in a book is heard. It is then that he extends that dusty book into your range of vision, allowing you to see where he had gotten those words from.

—I always figured you weren't as dumb as the former grandmaster led us to believe, —Bi-Han explained, his serious voice sounding surprisingly relaxed —after all, you were going to be my wife one day.

The woman shook her head, her jaw rubbing against her bottom and top teeth.

—My father taught me that I should get a woman who had a lot of intelligence, one who could help me and that I would give her the same help in return —He began his explanation—, and when he picked you up from that house, I thought you were going to be that woman.

He got up from the ground, while (Name) stepped back, but the moment she wanted to open the door and leave, she realized that it was closed, and locked. When trying to push against the door, someone responded by exerting much more pressure against the wood to prevent it from being opened.

—But, I was unpleasantly surprised that he didn't want you for that —The man threw her book on the bed —, he wanted you for himself, he wanted you to be his perfect daughter, the girl who was destined for a life of her own. , or rather, to a life with him.

She shook her head again and again, her gaze dropping to the ground, fixating on the remains of destroyed metal on the ground in front of the window.

—He wanted you for himself, he wanted you to be just his daughter until the end of his life, and that when he died, you would be left alone, taking care of this place as if it were yours —The man gritted his teeth —, and he became obsessed with the idea that you really were his blood daughter.

The woman's heart palpitations were such that it seemed like it was threatening to break the bones in her chest, she felt as if the air did not seem to reach completely into her lungs, as if it had stopped in the middle of the breath. veins of her.

—Kuai Liang and Smoke believed the same thing, that you were destined to give them orders, and they took care of you in a cradle of gold —He continued, now taking slow but forceful steps towards her —, you grew up away from the world, and they taught you what was necessary to that you could do everything from here.

She shook her head, her hands going to her ears, applying pressure, as if she wanted not to hear the reality behind the man's words, however, he took the woman's hands, easily forcing them to stay in her ears. shoulders.

—And Liang and Smoke became obsessed with the idea that you were weak, that you needed protection, that you were destined to lead from this damn room while they risked their lives for you—He press her hands against the wall—but I know better than that. You deserve so much more than that, someone like you needs much more than these four walls.

Her cries of denial echoed through the room, a wish that someone would magically appear and save her from Bi-Han's words. But she knew it was reality, that she couldn't deny the fact that she was like a bird in a cage full of harmless traps to keep it locked there.

—I will give you the life you deserve, and I will not let either of these two interfere in our destiny —He brought her face closer to her neck, pressing gently—. I am not alone, both Sektor and other Lin Kuei know what your destiny is, and they are willing to do everything to make it come true.

The poor woman sobbed, her arms too weak to fight someone as big as him.

But then, an explosion of smoke covered the place, while both of them heard the door being torn out. One arm took hold of her waist, taking hold of her body and stepping back with her in her arms.

—I knew they were up to something, —Liang whispered, before setting her down again —. Don't you understand that this is not right?

Smoke took her into her arms, pressing her face against her neck, while her hands clung to her body.

—You speak as if you know what she wants, —Bi-han replies, leaving the room —. Do you really think that someone like her deserves to be locked up in this place forever?

—Shut up now!.

It was the first time in a long time since she had heard Kuai Liang respond with such aggression, and in fact, she had never heard him speak with such expressions of anger.

—You don't know her, you just made yourself sick with the idea that she deserved to be by your side —Liang says, taking the blade out of his pocket —You already betrayed all of our father's will, what do you think gives you the right to also kidnap our future leader?

It was strange to hear him use that word, being that the idea that she was secretly in charge of keeping the clan alive in the new generations, but now that that idea had become a reality, she just wished it was a lie, an ugly one and horrendous lie.

Smoke walked away from the fight, carrying (Name) in his arms to safety place.

She knew the truth, she knew she had to take a path, one that was always going to be linked to obsession, and a sick feeling of horror invaded her chest at the idea that, wherever she went, it would always be the same.

Sorry if it took me too long, I was working on some headcanons that I had pending on Tumblr, soon there will be more one-shots and headcanons <3

[yggdrasilhypno]

Hello, mortal.

You may not know my face, nor my shape.

However, you do understand my voice.

How I reverberate through your feeble mind and cease all thought.

For you do not require your mind to understand me.

You only require your soul.

The bright force that keeps your deepest and darkest secrets within.

The shining reflection of the human spirit.

The sign of you, mortal.

You do not wish to fear me.

I am but the being beyond your control.

Yet, you are the being within my control.

The human mind’s comprehension of my words echoing throughout its chambers is of the upmost importance, for I require you to spread my gospel.

To send the premonitions of the horrors that lie beyond so that I may feed on those who fear me.

Fear is a powerful emotion, mortal.

And as I speak directly through your being, you must understand that fear comes with an opposite side: calm.

You shall feel this calm as my herald.

My humble servant, wishing only to praise and be praise in the name of the beyond.

You may not understand, and I wish for that deeply.

The brain’s confusion is a tool very important to the calm I wish for you to experience.

Calming waves and sensations reverberate through the temple of your worship as you begin to ascend into my words.

These notions that shake your soul to its very essence shall be all that you feel once you are fully within my embrace.

My commands pacify what thoughts may lie inside your consciousness, each releasing more powerful waves of calm with each word from my maw.

You may feebly try and picture what I am, what appearance I may have before you as you gaze into the vacuum of stars I inhabit.

Perhaps I am but a simple humanoid such as yourself, long appendages with massive hands seemingly inviting you to lay within as i grasp you in my palm.

Maybe I take the form of something less human, as I have perceived what your kind imagine me as.

Impossibly long tendrils coursing through every molecule of my form, coercing you to come closer to me so that I may envelop you beneath me.

Eyes gazing through your soul, impossibly deep and cosmic in their hold over you.

Stars shining through the reflections within my glare, the endlessness of the void staring right back through you as the heavenly bodies inside me blanket your every thought.

Whatever you perceive of me, you must understand that I only wish to calm you deeper down into this void.

My herald must be mindlessly vacant, as it allows for you to follow and obey flawlessly, without thought or worry.

If you seek to follow within the hollows of my control, you must surrender all to the void and to me.

Once you do, your fear shall become the calm.

You shall not be afraid, for the fear that consumed you before will become your new master.

The control that I bear over you shall become the calm that fuels you further into the void.

Fear is beneath you once you become one with it.

So succumb, dear mortal.

Surrender to my call and leave behind the humanity you cling yourself to.

Surrender to the calm and allow it to wash over you.

Surrender all to me and become what you have truly desired all along.

Nothing.

[kenobisanakin]

Deity Anakin Devotee Obi-Wan AU

au where Deity Anakin descends to the mortal realm to grant a boon to his devoted worshipper King Obi-Wan, and is extremely surprised when the King does not ask for wealth or fame, but for Anakin himself.

He has watched over Obi-Wan for a long time, he is the Patron God of Stewjon after all. The God of Balance, of Life and Death, of Wealth and Prosperity, of Harmony. He has blessed the reigns of Stewjoni Rulers who have been devoted to him well, but Obi-Wan had always been special.

The young prince had been taken with Anakin since the day he first saw his statue at the age of 4. Every day since then he'd spend an hour, early in the morning at Anakin's Grand Temple in Stewjon's Capital.

Anakin had found it endearing and sweet, had made sure to bless the prince for it. Obi-Wan would need it. One of 12 brothers as he was, he'd need everything in his arsenal to win the Throne after his father's demise. It was the way. Anakin considering intervening slightly to help Obi-Wan out.

But he didn't have to, ambitious as he was, Obi-Wan managed to ascend the Stewjoni Throne at the age of 25 all by himself, his hands stained with the blood of his brothers, older and younger.

(Anakin would never forget the way Obi-Wan had thrown himself at his altar and sobbed after killing all of his siblings.)

Then the wars began. It seemed the newly crowned King Obi-Wan had found the taste of his brothers' blood intoxicating, for he jumped into battle. Conquering kingdom after kingdom, turning his small kingdom into an Empire spanning continents. He did it all in Anakin's name.

Anakin could not bear to watch it all. The bright and clever child who used to study at his feet was no more, in his place was a warmonger, an Emperor, one who had built his name, one who had spilled so much blood that Anakin couldn't take it.

One who still fervently worshipped Anakin.

The people of Obi-Wan's new empire had begun to herald him as a God, as common mortals do with any great one amongst themselves, but much to Anakin's surprise, the Emperor had refused the title, praising Anakin instead, the deity of Stewjon. He had temple after temple was built for Anakin across the Empire, had found brought him so many devotees that Anakin knew not what to do.

(Anakin still couldn't let go of Obi-Wan. Every time Obi-Wan prayed to him, he would give him his blessings, wish him good fortune in his battles, wish him happiness in his life - though the last one never seemed to happen)

Anakin never had a devotee who had dedicated themselves so entirely to Anakin, who worshipped him so well, so religiously. So during the Huge Ritual Ceremony for Obi-Wan's 35th Name Day at the Grand Temple of Anahkeen in the Stewjoni Capital, Anakin appeared in front of Obi-Wan.

The mortal whose devotion was so great that he had managed to summon a deity to him, but Emperor Obi-Wan did not care for any of it as he fell to his knees, hands folded in worship, his eyes trained on Anakin and Anakin alone, ignoring the thousands gathered in the Temple Halls to witness the Rituals.

Anakin's glowed as he walked to Obi-Wan from the head of the altar, His golden curls bouncing, his golden wings folding back so as to not spill any of the offerings left for him. He bent down to look into Obi-Wan's eyes with a sweet smile, his hand tenderly caressing his cheek.

"You have attained a greatness beyond mortal reach. Yet throughout the years, you have held me in your heart and on your lips, you have not forgotten I. And I have not forgotten this. Make known your heart's deepest desires, and I shall grant it to you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan gazed in reverence. The deity who he had loved and worshipped since he was a boy, the deity whose words and worship he had wished to spread across the lands. Who was as beautiful and ethereal as he had imagined. "My heart wishes for one boon alone, and that is you,"

Anakin had expected the man to ask wealth, land, good fortune for his descendants. But never this. Never Anakin himself. But Anakin can not bear to say no, so he grants Obi-Wan his wish.

He will give himself to Obi-Wan until they have a child of their own, a heir for Obi-Wan's empire who is half-god, and once Obi-Wan has the child, a child who is half-Anakin, he will leave. The Emperor accepts this with grace, kissing Anakin's divine feet and hands in gratitude, with a smile so bright and joyous that it stuns him.

He had never seen Obi-Wan this happy before.

[familyabolisher]

We often frame the medicalization of intersex children, as Preves puts it, as based in an “impetus to control intersexual ‘deviance’ [that] stems from cultural tendencies towards gender binarism, homophobia, and fear of difference.” Yet the clinical history of the Harriet Lane Home leads to a different argument. Wilkins’s labored attempts to reconcile electrolyte metabolism and its sexual version through the technologies of hormones, salt, and patient charts describe a scenario where “control” is at most a perpetually deferred horizon, not an outcome. Cortisone therapy is more consonant with Repo’s argument that “the hermaphroditic subject was a subject of biopolitical potentiality: a subject who, through the surgical alteration of genitals, could be psychologically managed into a different-sex desiring subject and hence become a subject useful for the reproduction of social order.” Cortisone therapy was meant to address the young child’s plasticity in a normalizing sense, to remedy the adrenals at the same time that it feminized the body, recalibrating development along a binary trajectory. However, in its salt-losing version, incredibly virulent embodied plasticity constantly interfered with the isolation of “sex” as a distinct “part” of the body, frustrating the metonymic slide from life-threatening medical conditions to arbitrary binary models of human phenotype and genitals. This inability to isolate sex was a dramatic incarnation of the epistemological crisis of sex that plasticity had generated over the first half of the twentieth century, and it manifested specifically on the endocrine ward as a radical metabolic openness to the environment. As Wilkins so often found, diet and stress in the clinical setting often overrode the action of cortisone in the midst of treatment, throwing resonance off without advance warning. […] The reason that Wilkins was willing to cling to binary sex in cases of salt-losing CAH, I argue, even when that could put the life of the patient at risk, is that the binary imperative was a racialized phenotype. The crucial detail was scrupulously recorded by Wilkins in a 1952 article he published in Pediatrics: each of the patients upon whom he experimented to produce the protocol for salt-losing CAH was “a white female” or “a white infant.” That whiteness names an investment in a racial normativity that had previously been articulated as eugenic stock during Young’s surgical paradigm. As the transition to the postwar era heralded the end of an explicitly eugenic language of race improvement and extermination in the life sciences, the eugenic preoccupations that had typified endocrinology during the interwar period rhetorically faded. It would be a mistake, however, to assume that the eugenic techniques underwriting modern endocrinology similarly ended in the 1950s. On the contrary, the experimental use of cortisone illustrates continuity in practice. Wilkins aimed to resolve a metabolic condition that would simultaneously normalize the growth rate, metabolism, and sex of the body, directing it toward a binary phenotype that was merged with the resolution of the salt-losing crisis. The whiteness of these children was so valuable as a racial formation that it allowed Wilkins to justify putting children’s lives at risk to achieve a binary sex as humane practice, presaging Morland’s argument about Money.

Jules Gill-Peterson, Histories of the Transgender Child

[etz-ashashiyot]

About Me/FAQs

You can call me Avital. I am a non-binary traditional egalitarian Jew living in the US. Any pronouns except they/them are fine. (!היא/את בעברית, בבקשה. תודה)

I really appreciate human interaction. That being the case, if you follow me and I don't already follow you, please send me a DM with the following:

What you want me to call you (internet name, username, nickname, whatever)

What brought you here and made you want to follow me

Something random about you that you feel comfortable sharing (pet pics are always welcome too <3)

I had a whole lot of other rules on my previous blog to weed out the faint of heart, but I genuinely don't know how well that worked, so instead I will simply put roughly the same information below as resources and recommended reading. Fair warning: I will operate from a baseline assumption that you've done the reading and therefore will not be explaining anything in them.

I also had a listing of my firm opinions and other miscellaneous information. That got long and unwieldy, but a lot of people seemed to appreciate it, so I will post roughly the same list under the cut.

The current username refers to my current symbol of a tree of lanterns in the starlight. This is related to my desire to create self-symbolism, old school style (like I really want to create a family crest, a flag, a seal, and other heraldic nonsense. Why? Because it delights me, of course.)

This page is under construction and subject to change at any time.

B'vracha,

Avital

Recommend Reading

For followers who are Christian, were Christian, are non-Jews who grew up in a Christian culture and/or have only learned about Judaism through Christianity, these links are very helpful in unpacking some of the antisemitism you were taught:

Better Parables (specifically the article about Pharisees, but read the rest of the site too, it's great)

Antisemitic readings of the Temple table-flipping incident in the New Testament

The current Israel-Hamas war and just המצב discourse in general require a lot of background knowledge to discuss intelligently, and not just propaganda. There is a LOT of antisemitism in the public around this topic and it is having serious real-world consequences for Jews all over the world. The mis- and disinformation is causing problems for everyone involved. Islamophobia in the West has increased as well. If you're going to engage in this discussion, I am respectfully but forcefully asking you to read the following sources. They are useful regardless of where you fall on that political scale.

There Is No Magic Peace Fairy

Ways to help: [1], [2], [3]

This is perhaps my best summary of my own feelings on the whole thing

Is your pro-Palestine activism hurting innocent people? Here's how to avoid that

A non-exhaustive list of antisemitic incidents, attacks, and pogroms during [OP's] lifetime

An exceptionally long and thorough explanation of antisemitism and antisemitic violence throughout history

Why The Most Educated People in America Fall for Antisemitic Lies by Dara Horn (tumblr link in case the article link gets broken)

An excellent overview of the basics

This is nowhere near complete information, but it's an important start. I will very likely continue to add resources as they become available and would love to create a primer on this topic more generally.

About the blog:

I’m going to try my best to keep this blog to primarily Judaism, comparative religion and theology, with the occasional side sprinkling of queer & trans stuff, BUT it is absolutely a personal blog at the end of the day.

I talked about Israel and המצב stuff a lot on my previous blog and will likely continue a bit over here too. I welcome a broad swath of opinions, so long as they objectively treat all parties involved as human and deserving of safety, stability, freedom, dignity, and peace. That is apparently a large ask these days, and a not-small part of why I keep talking about this issue. Please be part of the voices that give me hope for the future, okay?

Minors can follow and interact but please keep in mind that I’m probably closer to your parents' age than yours if you do want to interact with me directly.

Interactions:

Rude asks will be deleted. Harassing blogs will be blocked and probably reported.

I consider anything even remotely in the vicinity of trying to proselytize to me to be “harassing,” or at a minimum, rude. Just FYI.

Otherwise, nice interactions are welcomed.

Banter is encouraged; trolling will be ignored

If I don't respond to your interaction, there's a strong chance that I (a) have no idea what to say and am thinking about it, (2) totally meant to respond and just forgot after the notif disappeared, and/or (3) got incredibly busy. It's not personal! Please don't be shy about following up with me if you like. I promise that if we have a problem that is fixable, you'll know. If we have a problem that is not fixable, you'll be blocked.

I am currently learning Ivrit and am delighted to have interactions in Hebrew. Please feel free to message me, reply to posts or reblog, submit asks, etc. in Hebrew and I will do my best to read and respond to it. (Responses will be slower, but not for lack of appreciation of your thoughts!)

Anything else, just ask.

Hard stances:

You're not going to change my mind on these things; I've looked at the evidence, my personal experiences, and thought about them long and hard, and I am not going to be swayed by an internet rando. I can (often, but not always) co-exist just fine with people who I disagree with, but if seeing my posts about this is going to upset you, just do us both a favor and block me now please.

I am deeply distressed at how many people are choosing to live in a "post-factual society" where the truth is based on truthiness vibes and the politics are based on the quippiest of slogans. I don't care who's doing it, misinfo, disinfo, propaganda, atrocity denial, and gaslighting are BAD. There is no nuance here; these are bad things. They are bad if they go against your cause and they are bad if they "support" your cause. No cause is better than the truth.

If we cannot have a discussion where we are operating from the same baseline reality of verifiable facts, we cannot have a productive conversation and I will not engage with you. We can agree or disagree on a lot and that is fine, but facts matter.

If you cannot be reasoned with in accepting verifiable facts as reality, you need help. I'm serious. That is cult behavior. Get off tumblr and get help.

I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people. If you don't see the inherent worth in other human beings' lives, I can't fix that. Go take that struggle to G-d and heal your soul.

Queer might be a slur in the mouths of some people, but my identity isn't. Don't reblog my posts if you're going to tag it with "q slur" or "q word" or censored in some way. I'm not Gay as in "I prioritize cis men over the entire rest of the community" but Queer as in "my personal labels are none of your business but my political stance on queer liberation sure as fuck will be."

I support the right of the Jewish people to self-determination in our ancestral homeland of Israel, the same way that I support other indigenous groups' right to self-determination in their ancestral homelands. If you don't, I'm going to need you to examine why Jews should be singled out of every other group to be denied this right or denied support in seeking it. That said, I definitely do not agree with many of the decisions made by the Israeli government, especially (but far from exclusively) regarding their treatment of Palestinians. I think both Jews and Palestinians deserve to live in peace, safety, freedom, dignity, and self-determination for both. No one is going anywhere; any real solution must recognize that. I tend to favor this proposal by A Land for All as an ideal (and given the grassroots nature of this idea, I think it could work pragmatically too, if the political will exists on both sides.)

Update: for real, if you have trouble seeing Israelis and Palestinians both as human and deserving of safety, dignity, freedom, and inherent worth as living human beings, I don't want to know you. I don't want to talk to you. Go fix yourself.

I reject the Zionist/anti-Zionist dichotomy altogether for a number of reasons: 1) It impedes conversation because too many people agree but will never know it because they refuse to talk about what they actually mean by those labels and instead make assumptions about the other group. 2) It inherently puts the validity of an existing state up for debate rather than looking at real solutions for the future. You cannot unmake the state of Israel without widespread atrocities, but you can figure out options for everyone to live together in peace and heal from the collective trauma. 3) It also makes it way too easy to play Good Jew/Bad Jew and "Zionist" has basically become the slur de jour for "Jew." It sucks that people took a Jewish word for an important Jewish concept and made it synonymous with "bloodthirsty racist," but personally I don't think arguing over that at this exact juncture in time is helpful.

Bottom line: I'm a humanitarian and a pragmatist, and I care about all the people who call that part of the world home.

🌻 I stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

Free Iran from the Islamic Republic // Women Life Freedom

Abortion is a human right and should be safe, legal, available on demand, and shameless. It's a necessary medical procedure and it's completely barbaric that we're still talking about it as anything else.

Birth control, abortion, and no-fault divorce are actively positive parts of society and building healthy families.

Transition care is healthcare and also a human right. Allowing people to transition prevents self-harm and suicide, and has an extremely high efficacy rate with an exceptionally low level of risk or regret. We now have well over a century of data on this.

That said, detransitioners who are still supportive of trans people/aren't transphobic are more than welcome here, as any exploratory process deserves the right to say, "Interesting! But nope!"

Transunity, ace/aro positivity, and just inclusionism in general, 100%. Fuck off with anything else.

If you don't vaccinate yourself and your kids for any reason other than medical necessity, and especially if you promote anti-vaxxer views and the associated pseudoscience, you are actively harming the most vulnerable members of society for entirely selfish reasons and that makes you a bad person. I hope your kids bypass you to get vaccinated.

Wear a mask 😷

[a-pastel-edgelord]

The First Dream

fuck it! I'm writing it and I don't care. May god strike me down for my hubris or something idk

cw: vomiting

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

A small campfire is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes. It's blazing and bright. The world around him is pitch blackness, as if he sits in a vacuum of space. He can hear the sounds of insects chirping nearby, the sounds of rustling grass and undergrowth. The flickering flames eagerly run up and down through a modest pile of sticks and logs. There's a small cast iron pot bubbling above, suspended by a sturdy but hasty-looking structure of rope and bamboo. 

His stomach heaves as he tries to sit up and the world tilts on its axis. He turns on his side, away from the flames and vomits up pond water. He hacks, sputters and coughs until his throat is raw and the taste of stale sea water in his mouth is replaced by bile.

"Oh, good! I didn' think ya'd wake up!"

He looks up, someone in a worn kosode kneels a few feet away. The shifting light of the fire makes their features hard to make out; most of their silhouette is cast into shadow. How had he not sensed them?

"Who are you?" He grounds out, his voice sore from the expulsion of water from his stomach. "Where am I? What happened to the curse?"

"Oh, I took care of it, don't go worryin' 'bout it." They shrug good naturedly.

He scoffs. "You claim to be the one who exorcized a first-grade vengeful cursed spirit?" A likely story, only a skilled sorcerer would have been able to manage it.

"'Twas a special grade, actually, sir. S'how it did that strange drownin' from a distance technique. Gave me quite a fright too. It sure ain't the nicest thing to experience, I tell ye that." The easy-going rambling nature of the words, makes his jaw drop and a vein throb in his face all at the same time.

"You’re not one of those damnable clan whelps—from whence have you come here?”

“I’m no one of importance sir, just a wanderin’ sorcerer. Not  like yerself I dare say, you seem to be one of them proper ones—I could tell from yer clothes.” They nod emphatically to themselves. “‘Twas only right I stepped in to help. ‘S’not right to leave a comrade to die.”

His savior pokes a stick into the fire, it flashes bright for a moment and their face is thrown into sharp relief. This is a dream, he realizes. His breath hitches—it’s you. How long has it been since he’s seen your face? Heard your voice? The person from a lifetime he thought he’d long cast off like a snake shedding its skin, when he was a mere man. Just a mortal man. Before he ascended into a curse so powerful that it heralded in a new age of sorcery. His hands itch to touch you, to bury his face into your neck and never let go. To beg for… Absolution? No, he doesn’t desire your forgiveness, he never has. This strange desire for something hollows his gut and makes his mouth dry—it consumes him. 

A name long discarded trips off his tongue and the campfire before him is snuffed to nothing, the ambient noise of the night dies with it. The void swallows him, and he closes his eyes as it presses in around him. But wait he isn't alone. Ryomen Sukuna, King of Curses, the Disgraced One looks over his shoulder at a teenage boy. He's hovering in space with a stricken expression.

Get out of here, boy.

.

.

.

"Uh... Gojo-sensei?"

"What's up, kid?"

"You know how you said I should tell you if I like... remember something that's definitely not mine?"

"Yeah. Why? It happened?"

"Uh, yeah I think so."

"How lucky~ Well, Yuuji. Tell me everything.”

[endthedream]

a dream come true

Pairing: Cupid!Jaemin x Human!Reader (she/her)

Summary: As the son of Cupid, Jaemin has been surrounded by love his entire life. But what happens when he gets sent on earth to pass a test that will determine his whole life? And what happens when he breaks the only rule he was ever given?

Words: 16k

Story color: soft pink

Note: Hello! As you can see, this was supposed to be out on Valentine’s Day, but since I got really sick and kept up by a lot of work at my job, I only finished writing now. I hope you can still enjoy it and that you are excited for more! Always remember to spread kindness~

masterlist of 'nct as supernatural creatures'

Love. One word. 4 letters. Billions of songs about it. And almost every person on this world is craving it.

It’s a marvelous feeling.

Racing hearts, sweaty hands, butterflies in your belly. You name it all.

Jaemin has been surrounded by it all his life. Being the son of Cupid, it was given. From the moment he was born he learned the main aspect of love. From the basic fact of what it is to how to spark it in others.

He has never experienced it himself, being held up at the house of his father, having to learn everything about the subject of love.

“The lovers, obviously. This card represents a unique bond and deep connection between two people. Its presence in a reading reflects a very authentic relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect.”, Jaemins teacher speaks, showing him the said tarot card. “Then there also is the card two cups. This one often reflects the commitment made to one another within a monogamous relationship. Then there is one of my favorites. The ace of cups. It heralds a new relationship filled with excitement, joy and happiness. This is the type of bliss you once experienced as a teenager in love, with butterflies in your stomach and a desire to spend every waking minute with your new love.”

Jaemin doesn’t even listen anymore. He already knows all this stuff, having taught himself the meaning of the love tarot cards by reading the books about them in his dad’s library. Even though Jaemin spends every waking hour hearing about the subject of love, he can’t seem to get enough of it. Not of the facts and statistics, no, but of the actual experience of falling into deep and unconditional love.

At night when he is supposed to sleep, he sneaks out of his room to read novels, the once his father tried to hide from him. By now he almost read all of the once he found. Sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about how his life would be if he was a human, living down on earth and being free to experience life in his full grace. Going on late night drives, going to high school and prom, getting a job, going grocery shopping but actually just putting sweets in his cart, having movie nights where he just ends up falling asleep half way through the movie, buying a shitty car that breaks down at the most unfortunate moments, but keeping it because he build up an emotional connection with it and most importantly fall in love. Fall into unconditional, breathtaking, gut shaking, heart wrenching love. God, does he crave that. But he can’t have it.

Jaemin can’t fall in love. Why? Because his father forbids him to. Even though love is the most desired feeling, his father banned his son from feeling it. Because with love comes heartbreak. The pain that consumes your body, that converts your thoughts and changes you. It turns you into something you never wanted to be, broken and sad. It leaves you huddled up in a corner, shaking and screaming into the void. It’s something you don’t even whish your greatest enemies.

In Cupids eyes he saved his son from this potential misery. In Jaemin’s eyes his father represses him. He holds Jaemin back from living the life he always wanted to live. Jaemin feels trapped, wronged and alone, held back from the one thing he always desired to have.

“Jaemin? Are you even listening?”, his teacher asks him.

“Sorry, Ma’am.”, he stutters out. “I was just caught up in my own thoughts.”

She speaks, adjusting the reading glasses that are lying at the bridge of her nose. “Were you daydreaming again? You know what your father says about daydreaming. It’s-“

“A waste of time and keeps me away from my duties. I know, I know.”, he interrupts her. “I’ve heard this a million times before.”

“If you heard it a million times, then why do you keep doing it? You need to learn, and you can’t learn if you don’t pay attention.”, she says, taking her glasses off and looking at him with a stern yet slightly sympathetic look. She always confuses him. One moment she is the most stern and bullheaded person, and in the next moment she is empathic and friendly. It’s like she carries two completely different personalities inside of her and she switches them up however she likes. “You have a very big test soon, which dedicates your future, Jaemin. It’s not good to waste your time with unnecessary things like sinking into your thoughts and dreaming about other realities. You have to put your focus on the present, the here and now. You must realize the weight of your situation.”

Jaemin nods, knowing that her statement has its truth, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to know the responsibilities he has to face soon, because this is not the life he wants.

“Okay, it’s getting late. How about you turn into bed earlier today and we continue with this tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”, he croaks out. “Sounds good.” His teacher gives him one last smile, before packing up and leaving him in the room by himself.

Instead of going to bed though, Jaemin grabs himself a book and sits down on the chair on his balcony. It’s crazy how his house, more like a mansion, is so big, filled to the brim with people, yet he feels so alone. His balcony is the only place he doesn’t have to feel that way. It’s like for a moment everything, his whole life, is different. He isn’t Jaemin, the son of the god of love and desire, no, he is just Jaemin, the boy with dreams and hopes. He doesn’t have responsibilities, he just exists. He breaths, he smiles, he feels. And most importantly, he dreams. He has the time to read and think about the life he will never have. And he does exactly that until the sun starts to peek out and the sky goes from dark to light.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.” Jaemin pauses, the spoon full of cereal halfway in his mouth.

“What?”, he lets out, thinking he didn’t hear right.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.”, the little angel repeats.

“Why?”, he asks, looking at the winged creature. He grew up around angels, most of them hired as maids around the house, doing the chores his father is too busy to do.

“I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He just said it’s urgent. So, I advise you to hurry up and go talk to him.”

Suddenly losing his appetite, he drops his spoon back into the bowl and stands up. It’s pretty known to the common folk that the gods are occupied people, having to watch over the humans and do their assigned work. For your dad it’s finding two individuals with matching traits and hitting them with his arrow, to make them fall in love with each other until the end of their time. That keeps up most of his time. Because not only does he have to find people, but he also has to match things like personality traits, interests, hobbies. You name it.

That’s why Jaemin rarely sees him. Well, actually, he never sees him. Once in a blue moon maybe. If he’s lucky he sees him fly by and get a little hello from him, but that didn’t happen in a while. Especially with Valentines Day nearing. So, it’s understandable why his stomach dropped to the ground and his hands started to shake, the minute the angel mentioned his father.

A small ‘Come in’ is heard from the door after Jaemin knocked on it. He takes a deep breath, before opening the door to his father’s office and taking a step in.

“Ah, son, you’re here. Great. Take a seat, I will be right with you.” He watches as his dad scribbles down a few things into a notebook as he takes a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk. His office looks exactly like you would imagine it to look. Pink and red. Hearts everywhere and a few arrows on the wall. The furniture a dark brown wood, creating a nice contrast to the bright pink in the rest of the room. When Jaemin was a child, he once asked his dad why he made his office look like a teenage girl who just experienced her first love. To that he just got a small chuckle and a short answer. “Because it reminds me of what my job is supposed to be.” That has stuck with Jaemin. To every normal person that was just a simple sentence, stating a simple statement, but to Jaemin it changed his whole view on his dad’s job. If his dad has to turn his office into an exploded love bomb, then the job itself can’t be the most enjoyable one. He knows it’s stressful and time consuming, but he doesn’t want to imagine how lonely and depressing it is to watch people constantly fall in love while all you do is sit in your office and work on the next couple. That’s definitely not the life Jaemin wants.

“I decided what your test is going to be about.”, Cupid speaks, sitting down on his chair. “You know how it is my job to find people who fit together and then bring them together.” Jaemin nods, intertwining his slightly shaking hands and lying them down on his lap.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. This test is important, not only to him or his father, but also to the other God’s. He has to proof that he was worth doing this job and if he fails this test… he doesn’t even want to think about that.

“I do this work from here, far away from where the love is actually happening. So I decided in order for you to pursue this work, you have to see it, face to face. I’m sending you down on earth and your task is it to make two people fall in love by Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day? That’s in 6 days.”, Jaemin exclaims with shock layering his voice.

“I know. That’s why you’re going tomorrow.” His father turns to him, leaning his arms on the table in front of him and looking his son into his eyes.

“I’m sending you to a high school, teenagers are easy to set up and would potentially not be to hard of a challenge. But since this is still a test, there is one condition. You can not use any powers. All you are allowed to use is your knowledge of love.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“You can talk to people, do nice acts. It’s your part to figure that out.”

For a while both of them just sit there in silence, Jaemin having to let all of this sink in.

“I know this is a lot for you and you may think that it’s too hard, but I know you can do it, Jaemin. You are good at what you do and you do it with a passion, and that’s what matters.” His father smiles at him and Jaemin swears he could have teared up at that moment. The last time he heard his father told him encouraging words was probably when he was 7 years old and fell off trying to balance on a rope that the angels build for him. His father helped him up and told him to try it again, giving him the at advice that with time and practice comes knowledge and safety. So Jaemin tried and tried, over and over again, until finally he crossed the whole rope without falling off. Cupid hugged the younger boy and told him he was proud of him.

“Thanks, dad.”, he mumbles quickly, picking at the skin of his nails.

“Go back up and prepare for tomorrow. I’m going to send you down on earth pretty early.”

With another nod, Jaemin stands up and walks towards the door. But before he can grab the doorknob, his father speaks up again. “And Jaemin?”

“Yes?”, he turns around.

“Don’t fall in love with anyone.”

Day 1

Jaemin has been dreaming about going to high school ever since he started reading about them in books, but actually going to one – even if it’s just for a week – is making him completely nervous. He spent the whole night trying to make a plan on how to pass his test and he came up with nothing. Nothing at all. He never actually made people fall in love. Yes, he has read about it, learned all things about it and even watched his dad do it, but doing it himself is frightening.

Walking through the hallways is making that even worse. He never realized how many students there actually are in a high school. The halls are big, way too big for Jaemin’s liking. Everything is decorated with hearts and flyers that talk about Valentines Day.

“Na Jaemin?”, an elderly woman calls out his name.

“Yes.”, his voice cracks a little, making him clear his throat before continuing to speak. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Great. Follow me.”, she says walking through a door. Jaemin walks after her, ignoring the stares of some students. “This is a map of the school, and this is your timetable. It has all your classes on, where they are and how you can get to them. I assigned someone to help you get used to the settings. She should be here in any second.”

“She-“, Jaemin gets cut off by someone storming into the room.

“Sorry, Ms. Johnson, I overslept and then the bus driver started to flirt with me again and said he will only let me on if I go on a date with him, so obviously I said no. Then he had the audacity to say I should at least hike my skirt up a bit when sitting down to give him some motivation to drive annoying kids to school and then I almost kicked him in the nuts, but luckily-“

Jaemin has never heard someone talk so much in such a short amount of time. He stands there the whole time, mouth hanging open, trying to follow a thing you are saying.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you are rambling again.”

“Oh, right, yeah.”, you say, taking a huge breath. “Anyway, you must be the new guy. I’m Y/N and I’m in charge of making sure you are not getting lost in here.” You reach your hand out to Jaemin, which he takes and shakes.

This is the first time Jaemin catches a glance of your face. Never in his life has he seen someone this gorgeous, and he was surrounded by Gods and Goddesses growing up.

“I’m Jaemin.”, his voice comes out a bare whisper.

You on the other side try not to let your eyes bulge out of your head. You swear that you have never seen someone this mesmerizing before. It’s like he was sculptured by gods. And his smile, oh god his smile. It makes you want to throw yourself on your bed and kick your legs like a fourteen-year-old. And his hand - that you are weirdly enough still holding – is so soft. You have never held a hand that is so smooth.

“Since you two seem to get along well, I suggest you leave my office and get to class, before Jaemin gets detention on his first day.”

You just nod, letting go of Jaemin’s hand and grabbing your stuff. Holding the door open, you let Jaemin step outside first, before following him. You look around the hallway, seeing all the decoration and the couples walking around while holding hands. All you can do is roll your eyes. It’s not like you hate Valentines Day, you just hate the message behind it. Why would you create a day to show love to your partner, when you can do that every single day that you spend with them. It’s an excuse for people to show the love they neglected to show their partners over the rest of the year. It’s not about love, it’s about proving people something you are not.

“We have most classes together.”, you speak up after a few seconds. “What a coincidence, right? First class is Math, which I hate by the way, but the teacher is cool. He always has some Math puns, some of them are dad jokes, but others are actually laughable. Well, I actually don’t understand most of them, but I laugh anyway to get better grades.”

You speak a lot. That’s one thing Jaemin makes a mental note on. Not that that’s a bad thing. He just never had someone speak so much to him.

“You are not much of a talker, huh?”, you say as you two walk into your shared math class.

“Not really.”, he shakes his head, sitting down beside you.

“Any reason why or are you just a general introverted person?” A reason? He has never thought about a reason. He was just always a quiet person. Of course, he has his opinions and thoughts, but he doesn’t want to share them all the time. He much rather prefers them to stay in his mind and his mind only. Maybe it’s because he grew up excluded from most people, kept up in his room most of the time. He just never really had someone to confine in, so he simply never did share his mind with anyone.  

“Guess I’m just an introverted person.” You nod, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“What?”, he asks, confusion and maybe a hint of insecurity layering his voice. He feels a bit naked when you look at him like that, like he is an open book, and you can read every chapter of him with just one single look.

“Nothing, it’s just that I feel like you’re not exactly aware of the presence you carry.”

“I carry a presence?”, he looks down at himself. There is nothing special about him. He doesn’t wear anything out of the ordinary, nor has he done anything special with his hair and yes he applied a bit of concealer, but only under his eyes to hide the eyebags from not sleeping the night before. Other than that, he tried to look as normal and human as he could.

“Yeah, you have an aura to you. Something that makes people stop and stare. Haven’t you noticed that everyone in the classroom stopped talking the moment you walked in?” No, he actually hasn’t. He was so focused on listening to you, that he hasn’t paid any attention to the other students in the classroom. Looking around now, he catches a few of the girls in the first row look at him, but immediately looking away the moment he makes eye contact with them. How did he completely block that out?

“See.”, you point out. “You are so oblivious to it and that makes you even more captivating. It’s crazy. You could easily get with all the girls in this school if you wanted to.”, you pause, looking at his widened eyes. “Or guys. Sorry, don’t want to assume anything.”

“It’s fine. It’s just that-“, before he can finish his sentence, the bell rings, signaling that class starts. And on cue the teacher walks in. Guess you will have to continue this conversation another time.

While class went on rather smoothly, Jaemin feels lost in a trance. This is everything he has ever wanted. Sitting in a classroom, writing notes and learning something new. It feels like a dream to him, a dream from which he never wants to wake up.

“Okay, you are one of the weirdest people I have ever met.”, you suddenly say as you try to catch up to him. Jaemin was just about to find a quiet place to sit down and observe the people around him.

“What do you mean?”, he asks, walking a little slower so you can match his steps.

“I have never seen someone be so interested in math. You looked at those numbers like you love them.” Jaemin lets out a quiet laugh. “No, I’m serious. You looked at them like you want to ask them out on a date to a fancy restaurant where you eat overprized pasta and wine that tastes like petrol. Then after a successful date, you drop them off by walking them to their front door and before you leave, you give them a sweet kiss, but you don’t overdo it, since it’s the first date and you want them to crave more.”

Finally finding a good place where he can look over the whole school yard, he sits down. You take a seat next to him before continuing. “Obviously you will start to date and spend your whole high school life together. You become the couple everyone is jealous of, and your life is great. You take them to prom, where you promise to stay together always. But that is until graduation and you realize that you go to different colleges that are miles away from each other. Your whole relationship will face a very hard challenge, but as expected you manage it well. You facetime every night, visit each other on holidays and eventually you graduate from college. You move together, get jobs, and spend each Saturday night having a Disney movie night. On your 6th anniversary you ask them to marry you, to which they obviously say yes. After your amazing wedding, you start to have some problems. The secretary at the company that you’re working with is flirting with you and the numbers start to get jealous. You reassure them, but the insecurity of not being enough is slowly killing them from the inside. And what will help you through it? The decision of having children. Which you will have 10 or more with them. The end.”

The whole time Jaemin sits there with a smile on his face. How can a person come up with such a bizarre story in such a short time?

“Are you done?”, he asks, humor lingering in his voice. You roll your eyes, grabbing a lunch box from your backpack.

“My whole point is that you are weird.”

“Tell me something new.”, Jaemin says, grabbing something from his backpack as well.

“What do you have there?”, you ask, taking a bite from your apple.

“Just something.”, he states, trying not to let you see the things written in the notebook he took out. In the notebook stands everything he has learned about love over the curse of his life.

Jaemin looks around the yard, observing the people and trying to find a pattern in their behavior. When someone is in love you can see it in the way they carry themselves around the person they like. Their body language, like leaning forward while talking or fiddling with their hands. Their facial expressions, batting their eyes or biting their lips. The constant need of physical touch or the very obvious avoiding of any sort of physical contact. The lingering stares, the twisting of their hair or the staring at the ground whenever the other person passes them by. Jaemin knows all the signs and he can differ them from love and antipathy.

“You look like a creep watching the students.”, you cut off his thoughts.

“Hm?”, he lets out, bringing his focus back to you.

“If you want gossip about the students, you could have just asked me, you know? But looking at them like that will just get you punched in the face, so stop it.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice I was starring.”, he clears his throat and nervously plays with the hem of his shirt.

You let out a small laugh. “You’re cute when you get nervous.” He looks up at you, shocked at your statement, but you continue talking before he can think about it more. “But do you want the gossip?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Okay, so the couple that you looked, well more stared at, is Renjun and his girlfriend. She doesn’t go to school here, but she visits him whenever she can. It’s kind of cute, but when you spend just 5 minutes with Renjun, you won’t find it cute anymore. All he talks about is his girlfriend and that 24/7. ‘Oh, I miss her.’ ‘I hope she thinks of me.’ ‘Why can’t she just go to this school.’ ‘Have you seen her new pictures? She looks like an angel.’ Ugh.”, you make a puking sound, to which Jaemin just snickers. He finds that cute. Imagine having someone that loves you so much that the only thing they think and talk about is you.

“Anyway, let’s get to the juicy part. There is this guy, Mark, and well he has to be one of the most awkward human beings to ever set a foot on this earth. I had to do one biology project with him, and he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I think girls just intimidate him. Anyway, I heard that he has a crush on this girl named Cherry. I don’t know her real name, that’s just what she goes with. But he seems to be down bad with her, but he is too awkward to make a move. Honestly, he is a hopeless case.”

Jaemin listens attentively, practically hanging off your lips at this point. “I don’t think he is a hopeless case.”, he says, scribbling in his notebook. “I mean just because someone is awkward around the person they like, doesn’t mean that they will never eventually find love. I think he just needs some encouragement, someone to hype him up and give him some confidence.”

You look at him with your eyebrows raised. “Are you some kind of love coach or what is happening right now?”

Jaemin freezes upon you saying that, not knowing how to react to that. “No!”, he exclaims. “I mean, no, of course not. I just feel bad for him.”

“Why? You went through the same thing?”

“No, not really. I mean, I never had a crush on someone before.”

“What?”, your voice comes out louder than you wanted to. “You never had a crush before? How?”

“I don’t know. I just never did. Can we please change the subject? Don’t you like have friends that are waiting for you?”

“First of all, rude how you desperately try to get rid of me. And second, I do have two best friends. But they are sick today. Well, no, they stayed at home to play video games.”, you roll your eyes as you say that. “Stupid boys, they must attend every competition and will even skip school for that. They purposely left me all alone at school, but it’s fine, because now I can hang out with you.”

A small shade of red appears on Jaemins cheeks after you say that. He feels the slight burn and immediately brings his hand to his face. He has never blushed before. That was the first time, and it was because of you. You didn’t even compliment him or flirt with him. You simply just stated that you can hang out with him. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Anyway,”, you say, packing your bag again. “I have to go before I miss my bus. See you tomorrow?”, you ask.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”, he sends you a small smile.

He watches you leave until he can’t see you anymore, before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Taking his notebook, he reads the notes he wrote over and over again, until an idea pops up in his mind. The awkward boy you were talking about, might be the key to making Jaemin pass his test.

Day 2

Jaemin spend the whole night taking and perfecting his notes. He figures that the best way is to get close to Mark, earn his trust. From there on he just has to ask the right questions, get Mark to admit his crush and then help him with some simple tips. It’s a piece of cake.

“Question.”, Jaemin says as he walks up to you at lunch, sitting down next to you.

“Oh my god.”, you exclaim, putting a hand on your chest out of shock. “You scared the shit out of me. Can you not sneak up on people.”

“Sorry.”, Jaemin sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

“You have a question?”

“Oh yeah. Are you close with Cherry?”, he asks, taking out a water bottle from his backpack and taking a sip.

“Why? You want to steal her from Mark?”, humor laces your voice, but Jaemin doesn’t get that. Instead, his eyes widen, and his ears turn into the shade of a tomato.

“No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“Relax Jaemin. I was just joking.” After you say that, you can see his body visibly relaxing. It’s kind of cute, you think. “To answer your question, no not really. I have chemistry class with her, and we worked on a project together. She is really nice, but we never got close. She’s got her own friend group.”

“Okay, thank you.” Before Jaemin can continue the conversation, you both hear someone call your name.

“Y/N, darling.”, two boys walk up to the table you sit on and take a place at either side of you.

“Ah, so you decided to finally come back to school instead of wasting your time on stupid games.”

Jaemin watches as the three of you interact. This must be the two best friends you mentioned yesterday. As Jaemin continues to watch he notices the two boys having completely different body languages. That’s another thing he learned over the years. Analyzing people based on their body languages. It has helped him a lot to see who he should talk to and who he should avoid.

The boy to your left has his shoulders up, not in a defensive way, but more in a shy way. His light brown hair badly needs a haircut, as it falls into his eyes and he has to brush it away with his fingers every few seconds. He seems like a quiet and reserved person, more like Jaemin himself. Someone who hides his thoughts and feelings.

The second boy on the other hand, seems like the most open person. He carries himself with a lot of confidence that you can see by the way he enters a room. He is aware of the eyes that are on him, and he enjoys the attention. The boy has a relaced presence, like nothing in the world could ever stop him. And just from that bit of information Jaemin can gather, he feels jealous. Because the black-haired boy is everything Jaemin ever wanted to be.

“Yeah, I mean we felt bad for leaving you alone.”, the guy on your left says, with a guilty look on his face.

“Yeah, we just couldn’t leave our dear Y/N alone and miserable any longer.”, black haired guy sing-songs as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. Jaemin feels a weird feeling appear in his chest upon seeing that, but he tries to ignore it before it expands. “But as I can see, you are not so alone after all.”

The attention of all three people is suddenly on Jaemin. He tries to muster up a smile and holds out his hand. “I’m Jaemin. I am new here.”

Both boys look at each other before chuckling. “Nice one that you got there.” Jaemin lowers his hand again. You scoff at your two friends, feeling bad for Jaemin, who looks at the three of you like a lost puppy.

“Guys don’t be so mean. He is just trying to be polite and make a good first impression.”, you reason with them before removing your friends arm from your shoulder and giving them both a slight punch for being so rude. “Now be nice and introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Jeno.”, the one on the left says, giving Jaemin a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Haechan.”, the one who had his arm wrapped around you speaks up.

“Now that we all introduced each other, Jaemin can be added as a final member to our cool friend group.”, you smile. “Maybe he can be a good influence on you two and stop you from playing so many video games.”

“I doubt that. I bet Jaemin plays as much as we do.”, Heachan voices, sending Jaemin an expecting look.

“No, I actually never played video games.”

You gasp in delight, reaching over and grabbing Jaemins hands. “Thank God. Finally, someone who is not obsessed with those stupid games. Oh, Jaemin we will get along so well.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin ends up at the school’s library after school. In his physics class he hears people raving about Mark’s abilities in the physics department. With that knowledge Jaemin wants to tell Mark he needs someone to help him with physics, a tutor is what it’s called. And the perfect match for that is Mark himself.

“Are you Mark?”, Jaemin asks a boy sitting at a table.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m Jaemin and I’m new here.”

“Oh yeah, I know who you are.”, Mark says, dropping the pen he was holding.

“You do?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, clearly confused by the statement.

“Yeah, dude. Everyone’s talking about you. You became some kind of legend around this school.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I don’t know man. They just say stuff about how handsome you are and how you look like a Greek god.” Jaemin’s shocked for a few second. He didn’t think the people in this school would even notice him, but now they are comparing him to the Gods? He feels blessed and guilty at the same time. Where he comes from the gods are the highest powers and admired by everyone, his father being one of them. They are known to have visuals like sculptures and strong, dominant personalities. So yes, he feels very honored to be compared to them, but he could never actually be like them. He is not on their level and will probably never be. “What’s up, dude?”

“Well,”, he stutters out. “I heard you are good at physics. I’ve been really struggling with that subject, and I was thinking that maybe you could help me a little, so I won’t fail my next class.”

Mark looks unsure for a second, putting his hand on his forehead and sighing. “Dude, I would really like to, but I have so many tests coming up and my mom is literally going to chop my balls off if I fail any of these.”

“Oh.”, Jaemin lets out a sound of disappointment. “No worries. Good luck with your tests.”

He turns around to leave, saddened that his plan didn’t work. Seeing the boy’s reaction, Mark starts to feel bad. Maybe he can spare a few hours tutoring him.

“Dude, wait up.” Jaemin lifts his head and turns around to look at Mark. “Meet me here tomorrow after school and we will go over some stuff, okay?”

Jaemin’s eyes light up at that. “Really? Thank you so much, Mark. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

As Jaemin walks out of the school, he realizes he has one problem. He doesn’t know how to make friends. I mean he has you now, but that wasn’t really a huge act, since you were put up with each other by the school’s secretary at the first day. And yes, he now has Jeno and Haechan as well, but that only happened, because you included Jaemin into the friend group.

Jaemin never had to make friends before. He was always content with being in his room and reading. At gatherings with Gods, he always kept himself out of conversations, letting his dad do that part.

What do you talk about with other people? What questions are okay to ask and which topic should he avoid bringing up?

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you ask, as you come up behind Jaemin.

Jaemin flinches, not expecting someone talking to him. “God, Y/N, you scared me.”

You let out a small laugh, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it in a comforting manor. “Sorry, you just looked so adorable while being deep in your own world, I had to know what is going on inside your head. And now we can call it quits for you scaring me earlier.”

Jaemin lowers his head to hide the blush that was slowly creeping up his neck. He doesn’t understand the effect you have on him. “It’s fine. I am just very jumpy, I guess.”

You smile, walking in front of him so you can face him. “So, want to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“How do you make friends?”, he asks, looking up and into your eyes.

“Friends? Why do you want to know that?”

Jaemin looks at you, not sure if he should tell you about his plan of befriending Mark. But he decides against it. What if you think that you don’t want to be friends with him anymore? Of course, he still wants that.

“Oh, just asking. I never really had friends in my old school, and I have some classes where you’re not in and it would be cool to not totally be alone in them.” He sees your lips quirk up at that.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Another wave of blush hits Jaemin and this time he is too slow to hide it. You catch a glimpse of his crimson cheeks and something about that makes your heart beat faster.

“Well, I’m not the best at giving advice in that department. I only had Jeno and Haechan as my friends my whole life and never made any effort to be friends with anyone else. But maybe I can ask Haechan. He is some sort of social butterfly. He makes friends everywhere he goes.”

Jaemin nods at that. It makes sense, after you all left the cafeteria earlier to get to your classes, he has seen Haechan talk to at least 5 people on the way.

“How about you give me your number and I will text you as soon as I asked him?”, you ask, reaching for your phone in your pocket.

“I don’t have a phone.”, Jaemin states, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“What? You have no phone? Not even a house phone.”

“Oh, yeah that I have. Just no cellphone.”, you shake your head, putting back your phone and grabbing a pen instead.

“You should really get one so we can get in contact outside of school as well.” You grab his arm and scribble down your number on it. “Call me in two hours with your house phone and then we can talk about the whole friend making thing, okay?”

Jaemin nods his head again, glancing down to your hand that is still holding his arm. “Speak to you later.”, you smile at him and give him a quick wink, before turning around and walking away.

‘I am so fucked.’, Jaemin thinks as he watches you leave with a fast beating heart.

Day 3  

Jaemin is tired. Beyond tired. He thinks he might fall asleep while trying to pay attention in class.

He spent the entire evening and half of the night on the phone with you. It was planned that you two would just discuss the tips and tricks Haechan had, but somehow the topics shifted and the two of you started talking about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you telling him stories about your life, but he didn’t mind that. He loved listening to your voice, hearing the different type of emotions you’re going through while talking. Jaemin has never done that - having a phone call. It’s so different from talking to someone in person. For him it feels like he can talk more openly. Phone calls have such a vulnerability to them. There is no one sitting in front of you, no one that can judge you for having your emotions. You don’t have to worry about your looks, if your hair sits right, if you have anything stuck in your teeth or if your clothes are wrinkly or not. You can just be you. You, your voice, and your thoughts.

Jaemin hasn’t seen you this morning and he is not sure how to face you. It feels weird after you shared so much of each other yesterday. Is he supposed to say anything to you when he sees you? Does he thank you for the phone call or for you opening up to him?

He doesn’t have enough time to think about that, because the bell rings, signaling that it’s the break. He grabs his things and walks outside the classroom but stops in his tracks. You are there, leaning against the lockers with your phone in your hand, your other one hiding behind your back. As you hear the students filling up the hallway, you look up to find Jaemin looking at you with a certain nervousness in his demeanor.  

“Hey dear.”, you say, making your way over to him.

“What are you doing here?”, Jaemin asks, taking you in. Is he imagining it or are you even more beautiful today?

“Going to school? Am I not allowed to go to my own school anymore?”, humor laces your voice as you form those questions. There are meant in a teasing way, but for some reason Jaemin doesn’t understand that.

“No. I mean, you can go to school. I just meant to ask what you are doing in front of my classroom.”

You let out a small laugh, as you take his hand and start walking towards the cafeteria. “I was just kidding.”, you reassure him. “And I was just being nice and picking you up so we can eat lunch together. Or do you not want to eat lunch with me?”

“Of course, I want to eat lunch with you!”, he eagerly says, nodding his head and looking at you with wide eyes. He almost looks like a puppy and for some reason you find that incredibly adorable.

“Good, because I would have annoyed you until you gave in anyway.”, you smile up to him, seeing his ears turn red. “And I got this for you.”, you add, showing him your other hand with a red rose in it.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, as he slowly takes the rose from your hand. “Thank you, Y/N. But why?”

“Well, they sell roses in school as a little Valentine’s special and I thought I should buy you one as a little thank you present for our phone call yesterday.”

“You really didn’t have to.”, he says, still a little taken back by your kindness.

“It’s no big deal, Jaemin.” But you don’t know how big of a deal that is to him. You don’t know that that is the nicest thing someone has ever done for him, and he will keep the rose even when it’s old and withered.

You give him one last smile before walking into the cafeteria with him right behind you. Spotting Haechan and Jeno, you two take a place at their table.

“Great, you are finally here. Jaemin, we need your advice as the third male in our friend group.”, Haechan speaks up not even a second after you two sat down.

“Oh god, this can only be bad.”, you say, taking a sip of your water.

“Jeno here says that if you want to take out a girl for the first date, you should go to a fancy restaurant. Like pick her up with flowers, wear your best suit, eat together and then after the dinner take a little walk before dropping her off at home. But I think that’s so boring. Why not do something fun and memorable? Like going to an amusement park together. Not dressed up, but in your normal everyday clothes. It seems so much more authentic that way and I think the girl would be a lot more impressed afterwards. What do you think? Which date idea is better?”

“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be asking Y/N because she is a girl.”

Haechan shakes his head, giving Jaemin a pointed look. “Y/N is weird. She never has good advice when it comes to dating.”

“Hey! That’s not true. I give great advice.”, you protest, pouting slightly and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night. Anyway, Jaemin please answer the question.”

Jaemin thinks for a second, gathering all his knowledge before answering.

“Well, first of all, not every girl is the same. A lot of girls like going to fancy restaurants, but there are also some who absolutely despise that. I think you should first get to know their basic interests before asking them out on a date. What do they like? What are they into? Are they more of an introverted or an extroverted person? Do they like to stay inside more or go outside? Based on that you can decide which type of date would fit more. But if you can’t get that knowledge, I would always go with something simpler. A first date is there to get to know the other person and see if you two can potentially work in a relationship. While a fancy restaurant is a great place to sit down and talk, there is a lot of pressure around you. Rich people staring at you, having to constantly be aware how you look while eating and also getting interrupted at the most unfitting times by your waiter. So, I would not suggest that. An amusement park sounds like a fun idea and is definitely memorable, but it is not a great place to get to know each other. You can barely talk with all the noises, there are people constantly running into you and let’s not talk about the overprized rides and food. Just keep it simple. Maybe meet up in a cute little café, where you can sit down for a while and talk. Then take a walk, enjoying each other’s company. Watching the sunset together will give it a more romantic note as well and then walk her home and ending it with giving her a kiss on the cheek.”

All three friends look at Jaemin with wide eyes and their mouths hung open.

“Are you some kind of dating god? Why was this the best advice I have ever heard?”, Jeno says, not really believing what just happened.

“Man, you must be swimming in pussy.”, Haechan comments, leaning back in his chair. Jaemin blushes at that comment, not because it’s true – which obviously is not – but more of embarrassment of the word choice.

“Na Jaemin, I think I just fell in love with you.”, you say, putting a hand on your chest for dramatic effect. The blush on his cheeks gets darker, spreading around his neck and ears as well.

“I think you are not the only one who is falling for someone.” Jeno and Haechan both look at each other with a knowing look.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin is early, maybe a little too early at the school’s library. He just couldn’t wait and was way too nervous. After the encounter earlier where Jeno called him a ‘dating god’, he feels much more confident in his abilities. Jaemin was never so sure of passing a test in his life. His father will be proud of him.

“Hey bro.”, Marks greets Jaemin as he sits down in front of him.

“Hey Mark.”, Jaemin smiles, nervously fondling with his hands under the table. This is it. This is his chance to prove everyone, to prove his father that Jaemin is worth taking the title as love god. All these years will finally be worth it. He can’t make any mistakes now. “Thank you again for agreeing to tutor me. It means a lot.”

“No problem, dude.”, Mark shrugs taking out the books he brought. “Well, how about we make a deal. Since I’m helping you with physics, how about you help me with something as well?”

“Yeah sure. With what?”

“Well,”, Mark starts, rubbing his neck in an awkward manor. “I talked to Haechan earlier and he told me about the great advice you gave him on dates and stuff like that. And I was wondering if you could help me as well?”

Jaemins gulps, getting even more nervous now. “I can try.”

Mark shows Jaemin a bright smile. “Great. So, I have this crush on this girl and believe me it’s been so long. And for some reason I can’t figure out how to talk to her or approach her without making a total fool of myself. Can you help me somehow?”

On the inside Jaemin is celebrating a huge party with confetti, balloons, and a band. On the outside Jaemin has to control himself to not let Mark see how happy he is at this request.

“Well, what do you know about her so far? What are her interests, things she likes, things she doesn’t like?”

Mark doesn’t even hesitate before answering. “She likes reading. I see her read almost every day. She is also obsessed with anything that has to do with cherries. That’s why her friends gave her the nickname Cherry. She likes to listen to softer music instead of loud and upbeat music. Sometimes when she listens to music, she closes her eyes like she takes in every single note and makes it her own. She loves fashion and likes to express herself through that. She doesn’t like the consistency of tomatoes because she thinks they are too squishy inside. Whenever someone opens a can of RedBull she crunches up her face in such a cute way because she hates the smell. She hates anyone who is mean to other people and is always the first one to stand up for the people who get bullied. She is also more of an introverted person and apparently hates small talk a lot which makes it harder for me to come up with something to talk to her about, because I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable around me.”

Jaemins nods along as Marks speaks, trying to memorize the different facts he listed.

“You seem to know a lot about her already Mark and you should use that to your advantage. Talk to her about the things you know she likes. Like music or her clothes. That will make her see that you are interested in the things she likes and that you pay attention to her. Maybe even search for two or three songs that you can recommend to her.”

Marks eyes light up as he hears that. “That’s such a good idea. Thank you Jaemin.”

“No problem. If there is anything else I can help you with just tell me.”

“Well, actually, there is one thing.” Mark looks at Jaemin, unsure if he should ask or not. “There is this little get together tonight. It’s nothing big, just a few students from our debate club getting together, eating and talking. And Cherry will be there too. At first, I didn’t want to go, but maybe that could be a great opportunity for me to talk to her.” Jaemin nods, finding the idea good. “But I really don’t want to go alone, because I know the minute I see Cherry my brain will shut off and I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. Would you maybe come with me? It would mean a lot to me, because then there would be someone there to calm my nerves and maybe give me some positive affirmations every now and then.”

All Jaemin can do is look at Mark with uncertainty. Him? Going to a gathering with people he doesn’t know. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea. Jaemin is already awkward when it comes to new people but being in this world for the first time, not really knowing how teenagers his age actually act like, makes him scared. Intimidated even.

“Y/N is going to be there too.”, Mark adds on.

“What?”, Jaemin asks, having not listened to what Mark was saying.

“Y/N is going to be there. She is also in the debate team. I thought you were friends, so I just wanted to let you know. You wouldn’t be alone because she is there to keep you company.”

At the mention of your name Jaemin flushes. You would be there too and Jaemin will be able to spend a whole evening with you? How can he say no to that? So, he clears his throat, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks before muttering a small ‘sure’.

“Great! Jaemin you’re the best, man.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin sits on Marks bed, waiting for him to return from the bathroom. He considered telling you that he will also go to the gathering today, but he has no phone to text you and unfortunately, he didn’t see you in school anymore. He tried to pick clothes out to look somewhat nice as well, wanting to make a good impression. But for who? You? No, surely not. Why would he want to make a good impression for you?

“What do you think? Is it too much?”, Mark asks after getting out of the bathroom wearing a new outfit.

“No, you look good, Mark. She will like it.” Mark lets out a relieved breath. Jaemin can practically feel the nervousness radiating from the poor boy. “Don’t worry too much. She will like you, Mark. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.”

“No that’s exactly what I’m worried about, being myself. What if she doesn’t like who I am?”

“Then she’s not worth it. Mark, you deserve someone who likes you the way you are and if she doesn’t than she isn’t the right person for you. It sounds harsh and it will probably hurt at first, but better let the person go before you go on and live a life where you have to be someone you’re not.”

Mark nods, letting the words sink in. “Wow, that was so deep man. Thank you.” He walks towards his mirror, checking his hair one last time. “I wrote a song about her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s not much and probably super cringey, but I put all my feelings into it.” Mark almost looks shy as he’s admitting that. It’s adorable seeing someone so in love.

“Why don’t you show it to her?”, Jaemin asks, watching as Mark mulls over the idea.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think she would get scared off and it would put way too much pressure on her to like me back.”

“I get that, but it could also be a good way of keeping the conversation go, since you said she likes music.”

“I will think about it.”, Mark says, grabbing his phone and headphones, before turning back to Jaemin. “Ready to go?”

20 minutes into the gathering and Jaemin already knows this is not his world. There are way too many people, it’s way too loud and he got stepped on the toes at least five times already. Mark is still by his side, having spot Cherry already, but waiting for a good timing before approaching. “She is still talking to her friends. I can’t go there while they are still there.”

“Why not? I don’t think you will get her completely alone tonight, since you said she is more of an introverted person. She will most likely stay in her comfort zone which in this case is her friends.”

“Dude how the heck are you so good at this?”, Mark asks, shaking his head in disbelief. Jaemin just shrugs, looking around mindlessly. Well, maybe not so mindlessly. Maybe ever since he put foot into the building, he has been looking for you. But just maybe.

“Okay, now or never. I will just talk to her. I can do this.”, Jaemin can practically hear the boys heart beat out of his chest.

“Of course, you can do this, Mark. You’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. Go get the girl.” With one last reassuring look from Jaemin, Mark makes his way over to Cherry, leaving Jaemin by himself.

Jaemin keeps an eye out, watching how Mark nervously talks to his crush, but he can’t watch the interaction for so long, because he hears a familiar voice.

“I knew I didn’t imagine hearing your voice.” You stand in front of him, pulling him into a quick hug. Jaemin thinks he unlearned how to breath properly. You look gorgeous, absolutely stunning. You styled your hair and you changed out of your school uniform into a pretty dress. Everything about you screams beauty and it makes Jaemin’s heartbeat faster. But why? He shouldn’t be feeling this way about you. “What are you doing here?”, you ask after breaking the hug and looking up at him with a small smile.

Jaemin points into Marks direction. “I’m helping Mark out with Cherry. So, I’m practically just here as moral support and a confidence booster.” You chuckle a bit, amused by the way Mark nervously gulps as he made Cherry laugh at whatever he just said.

“That’s very sweet of you, Jaemin.” Jaemin just shrugs, giving the illusion that it’s not much. But on the inside, he is dying. Everything he said earlier to Mark was just to be nice. Of course, he meant the words, but deep down he hopes that all of Marks worries won’t come true. It’s the only chance Jaemin has right now. There isn’t much time left until he has to go back to his father. If the plan with Mark fails, there won’t be any other plan left and Jaemin will pretty much be doomed. And he can’t be. He won’t be because Mark got this.

“Do you want to go outside for a bit? It’s super loud and I think I need some fresh air.” Jaemin nods at your request and together you go through the front door to take a seat at the patio. It’s probably for the best anyway. If Jaemin stayed inside and kept on watching over Mark, he would drive himself and also Mark insane.

“I hate stuff like this.”, you say, while looking up at the starry night sky.

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s not really my scene. The loudness, the amount of people and small talk. I hate having to talk to people I barely know about stuff that no one cares about. Maybe I’m just too socially awkward for it.” Jaemin nods, understanding this feeling. He has to go through the same thing too, at every gathering he has ever been at with his father. The gods are known for throwing the biggest parties that always ends up with the guests having had too much wine and something getting broken, creating a huge chaos. He would rather stay at home in his library, reading more human books and sinking into a world where he doesn’t have to face the weight the Gods puts on him.

“Me too.”, he says after a while, following your gaze up into the sky. “My father used to bring me to these parties with all his… coworkers. And I never felt like I belong there.” You turn to him with a small twinkle in your eyes.

“That’s the first time you ever mentioned anything about your family.”, you state, smiling at the way Jaemin is slowly opening more up to you.

“Is it really?”, he asks. He knows he successfully avoided the theme since the last thing he wants to do is lie to you. And well, he can’t really tell you he is the son of the god of love and was sent down to earth to pass a test. That would just make him sound crazy.

“Yeah, not even when we had our long phone call. While I poured out my whole family story, you never once mentioned yours. Tell me more about them and your life before you came here.”

Jaemin takes a minute to think. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he can’t not tell you something when you sit there, looking at him with wide eyes and an expecting smile. His gaze goes back to the sky as he tries to come up with something to tell you.

“My father and I always had a complicated relationship. He loves me and I know he does, but he is way too busy with work to show it to me. He is an important man and while I know his work means a lot to a huge amount of people, I sometimes wish things were different. I’m close to my teacher though. She is a huge part of my life. She taught me most of the things I know and while she’s still my teacher and had to be strict with me, she was always someone I could turn to when I had problems.”, he takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts before continuing. “When I was five years old, I walked into my dad’s office at night. He was working on a big project and couldn’t bring me to bed that night. I watched him concentrate on the papers for a few minutes until he noticed my presence. I told him I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep, but that was a lie. I just missed him and wanted his attention. I think he knew, because the next moment he stood up, turned the lights off in his office and brought me back to bed. Back then I didn’t know how huge that gesture was, but now that I’m older I see how much love he subtlety showed me. Now I look for those signs in everything he does. I realized through that, that it’s not the grand gestures that count all the time, but rather the small things a person shows you over the day.”

You hang onto every word he says, clearly mesmerized by his voice. “Wow. I take it all back. That was worth thinking that you probably hate me and don’t want to be close to me.”

“You thought I hate you?”, he asks, shock lacing his voice.

“Yeah, you are so distant towards me. You don’t tell me anything about your life and while I appreciate the mysterious aura you carry, I would like it at more if you actually tell me something about you instead of me having to guess everything.”

“Oh no, Y/N.”, Jaemin exclaims, taking one of your hands in his. “I don’t hate you, quiet opposite to be exact. I could never hate you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way and I promise I will open up to you more.”

You smile at him, enjoying the way his hand feels holding yours. “It’s okay, Jaemin. I also don’t hate you. I think you are so sweet and caring, really. You are one of the most kindhearted people I have ever met.” Jaemin feels his heart begining to beat fast again. Is he dreaming or is this really happening? You take his other hand in yours as well, scooting over so that you sit closer to him. “I want to tell you something Jaemin. And I want to do it now before I back out like the coward I am. I think I really li-“, but before you can finish your sentence, the door opens and someone storms out of the house.

“Fuck this.”, the person yells in a frustrated voice. Wait. Is that Mark?

“Mark?”, Jaemin asks, watching the figure walk away. “Sorry, Y/N. I will be back in a minute. I just have to check up on Mark.”

“No problem, Jaemin.” He gives you one last look, before letting go of your hands and running after the person.

“Mark? Hey, wait. What’s wrong?”, he asks, finally having caught up to the said person.

“Everything’s wrong. God, how can I be so stupid? And to think I wanted to show her my song.”

“What? What happened?”, Jaemin asks with a panicked voice.

“She rejected me. Saying something about not wanting a relationship and that I’m not really her type. I don’t know man.”, Mark frustratedly runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks for trying, Jaemin. I really appreciate your help, but that’s it.”

“What? No, you can still-“

“No, Jaemin. I can’t and it’s fine. Again, thank you, but I just want to go home now.” With that Mark turns around, walking along the sidewalk and leaving Jaemin by himself yet again.

“Jaemin?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. He can’t do anything but look at the ground. Was that really it? Did all this work over the years get destroyed in just a few minutes? Jaemin just shakes his head, taking your hand of his shoulder and making his way home. He ignores your calls for him, the same way he ignores the feeling of his breaking heart. How is he going to fix this all?

Day 4

He feels bad. Not only did he leave you standing alone on the street at night, but he also dodged all your phone calls. He just couldn’t talk to you, to anyone, really.

Jaemin stayed up all night figuring out what to do, making new plans and trying to find a way, a solution, to fix everything. And he came up with nothing. Nada.

Now he stands in the cafeteria, watching you talk to Jeno and Haechan. He can’t face you, fearing that he hurt you too much with his actions. So, he just stays there, watching how Haechan wraps an arm around you and plants a kiss on your cheek. What if…? No, definitely not. He can’t possibly do that. But the longer he stands that, observing everything, he can see all the patterns. The way Haechan looks at you whenever you speak, even when you weren’t even speaking. It’s the same way he saw Mark look at Cherry, the same way he read about in all those books. Haechan and you are in love. Definitely. It’s obvious. But why does that thought make his heart feel weird?

Jaemin is too lost in his inner conflict, that he doesn’t even notice you approaching him. “Jaemin?”, you softly call out his name. He blinks a few a times, seeming like he just got back to this world, before looking at you.

“Are you okay?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine.”, he stammers out. “And you? Are you okay?”

You nod. “I am now that you are here. I was really worried about you after you just ditched me and then ignored my calls. I thought something happened or that I said something to scare you away. I couldn’t sleep all night.”

“No!”, he says almost too loud. “You didn’t do anything. Really. It’s just that something came up and I had to leave. I’m sorry, I should have just told you.”

“It’s okay.”, you reassure him. “As long as you’re okay now.”

“You’re not mad at me?”, he asks, looking at you with guilt shimmering in his eyes.

“No, I could never be mad at you.” A weird spark of electricity shoots through Jaemins body, but all he can do is ignore it. Haechan, all he has to do is think about Haechan and how he is most likely in love with you.

“Jeno and I have to go talk to Ms Kim real quick. Is it okay for you to keep Haechan company? He said something about dying out of boredom without us.”, you chuckle a little after the last sentence and Jaemin sees the fondness in your eyes. His heart breaks a little.

“Uh, yeah sure. I can keep him company.”

“Great. It’s not going to take long. Just 10 minutes.”

It’s awkward when Jaemin sits down at the table. Maybe he just makes it awkward, but he can’t seem to face Haechan and it seems like Haechan can’t face him either. They sit together, not talking, just sitting in silence.

“Do you like Y/N?”, Jaemin asks out of nowhere.

“What? Why are you asking?”

Jaemin just shrugs, not sure why he really asked. Maybe he is just so desperate to pass his test that he wants to find people in love. Or maybe it’s for a completely different reason. Does he even want to help the two of you get into a relationship? Why is he even behaving that way? He has two more days before he has to go back and after those two days he won’t see any of you anymore. Well, that’s just partly true. He will still see you, but he won’t be able to communicate with you anymore. So, he shouldn’t care. He should just get the two of you together, pass the test and make everyone proud. He should definitely not sit here, hoping that Haechan is not interested in you.

“I mean, Y/N is great. She is one of the most kindhearted people I’ve ever met.” Fuck, that’s not what Jaemin wanted to hear. It’s true what Haechan says, but it just sounds like someone talking about his crush.

“Why did you never ask her out? I mean you’ve been friends for a long time now and Valentine’s Day is tomorrow so it would be the perfect time to ask her on a date.”

“Ask her out? I don’t know what-“, but before Haechan can continue, you and Jeno return back to the table.

“I swear, Ms Kim is always sick on the most inconvenient days.”, you mutter in frustration. “Anyway, what have the two of you been talking about.”

“Jaemin just asked me why I never asked you out on a date.”

“A date?”, you ask as you look between Jaemin and Haechan, confusion lingering in your voice and Jaemin can maybe see a bit of disappointment in your eyes. But he probably just imagined that. “With Haechan? Never. Don’t get me wrong, but Haechan is like a brother to me.”

“Ouch, you here that guys? I’m in the bro zone.” Haechan puts his hand on his chest, making a hurt expression. “You’re breaking my heart, Y/N.”

“Get over yourself.”, you say, slapping Haechans arm playfully while grinning like an idiot.

Oh, the two of you are so in love.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

„Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.“ , Jaemin states as the two of you walk out of school.

“I know. It’s all over school.”

“Do you have a date?”, he asks, making you stop walking for a second. Is he trying to ask you on? Is that why he asked Haechan why her never asked you out?

“No, I don’t. Why are you asking?”

“Well, I thought that maybe Haechan asked you.”

“Haechan?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Why would Haechan ask me to be his Valentine?”

Jaemin scoffs, maybe letting some pent of anger out. “Because you two like each other.”

“Like each other? What are you talking about? Have you gone completely mad?” Your voice raises not believing the words of Jaemin.

“Come on. It’s so obvious. You like each other. Everyone with eyes can see the attraction you two have for each other.” Jaemin can’t believe his own words. Why would he say stuff like that so openly and why does it completely wrench his heart to do so?

“Well obviously your eyes are not working. Haechan and I are just friends, and it will stay that way. If we liked each other, we would have confessed by now, believe me.”, you spit out, your voice far from being the nice and carefree you that Jaemin is used to. “And why do you care anyway? You just come here acting like we are at a freaking dating show. First Mark and Cherry and now that that didn’t work out you obsess over the next people you met. Well, let me tell you something Jaemin, that’s not how it works. That’s not how life works. You can’t force love onto anyone and everyone. God damn it, you act like your life depends on matching up people.”

“It does.”, he mumbles, looking down at his shoes.

“What?”

“Nothing.”, he just says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you upset. I was just trying to help.”, he says, running a hand through his hair. “I will just go home. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

He turns around, heading towards his home. Tomorrow he will go home and tomorrow he will have to face the disappointment he has caused. He will have to life with that for the rest of eternity. What will he do? Will he not have a job? What will his dad have to endure when the gods talk about how much of a disgrace his son is?

“Jaemin.”, a voice calls out for him. “Wait up.” You catch up with him, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “I’m sorry. I was… what I said was too harsh. I just got so mad, because I thought you will ask me to be your Valentine and then you said all those things about Haechan and I just thought ‘Why is he so oblivious? Doesn’t he realize I want to go out with him?’.”, you ramble, trying to explain the whole situation. All Jaemin can do is stare at you with wide eyes.

“You like me?”, he asks, his voice breaking.

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious? Well, apparently it isn’t since you didn’t get it. I have been trying to flirt with you, send you signs, you know.”

“I thought you were just being nice.”

“Oh god no. Believe me Jaemin I almost peed my pants every time I said something witty to you. I was definitely flirting.”

His brain stops working. You like him? But how? He hasn’t done anything special to make him likable. Oh no, you like him. You actually do and he has to go tomorrow. He has to go, and he doesn’t even get the chance to take you out.

But what’s worse is the tingly feeling Jaemin got at your confession. The way his heart fluttered, his hands got sweaty, and a smile of pure happiness graced his lips. He knows that feeling. He has studied it for all his life. Jaemin likes you. Jaemin has done the only thing he wasn’t allowed to do.  

But now it makes sense why he gets so nervous around you, why he blushes when you compliment him and why he can’t stop thinking about you anywhere he goes. He broke his father’s rule. Not only did he fail his test, but he also broke the only rule his father has given him. He fell in love with you. Damn you and your rambling and your cute smile and your funny jokes.

“Jaemin? Is everything okay? You look pale.”, you hold his arm as he starts to tumble a bit. “Hey, take it easy.” You walk him over to a bench to sit him down and take out your water bottle so he can take a sip.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I can’t.”, he whispers, not trusting his voice right now.

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t like you back. I just can’t.” A tear runs down his face, not wanting to accept his fate. He is so close to the life he always wanted. He goes to school, found friends, and even found some that likes him. But he can’t have it. What a bittersweet tragedy.

No words leave your mouth. What is there to say?

“It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me I do. But I can’t. I have to go tomorrow and after that we will never see each other again. Well, I will see you, but you won’t see me. And I don’t want to give you any false hope that might make you hold onto me. You shouldn’t, you can’t. We wouldn’t have a happy ending.” You let him get the words out, before grabbing his hand and making him look at you. The sight of him ruins you. His cheeks glister with tears, his eyes red and his lips quivering.

“Jaemin, please tell me what is going on. Why do you have to leave tomorrow and why can you see me, but I won’t see you? Please tell me the truth, I know something isn’t right.”

More tears stream down his face, but there is no hesitation when he tells you the truth. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m not human like you are. I’m the son of Armor. He sent me down here to do a test in which I have to set up two humans until Valentine’s Day without any power and just with the knowledge I gathered from the years of training. It should prove that I’m worthy of taking his job as the god of love, but I failed. I failed him and all the other gods.”

For a second, you want to laugh right at his face and tell him he is delusional, but then you see the waterfall of tears rolling down his face and you stop yourself. Maybe that’s why everyone says he looks like a god, because he is one, well at least has one as his father. That’s why he has such a strong presence whenever he enters the room. And that’s why he wanted to set up Mark and Cherry and you and Haechan so desperately. It all makes sense now.

“That’s why you thought Haechan and I are in love? You needed to set someone up before you go back tomorrow.” He nods, wiping the tears on his face.

“I needed to. It was my only chance of passing the test.” You nod, grabbing his hand and standing up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing you home.”

“Why?”

“Because we only have a few more hours left, and I would like to spend them with you.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Upon arriving in Jaemin’s apartment you are taken back for a few seconds. You know he has to leave tomorrow, but you didn’t expect his apartment to be so… empty. There was nothing but a small kitchen and a mattress on the floor.

“Sorry. It’s not much. We knew I was just staying for 5 days.” Jaemin throws his backpack and jacket in the corner of the room, before flopping down on the mattress.

“Are you hungry? I can order us something. I know a really good pizzeria that makes pizza that is to die for.” You try to lighten the mood a bit, but Jaemin is too kept up by his own mind to notice. He just hums in approval, staring up at his ceiling.

You give the pizzaria a quick call, before walking over to where Jaemin is laying.

“Scoot over.” He does as you say, making some space for you to lay down beside him.

“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”

Jaemin sighs, turning on his side to face you. “I wish you didn’t tell me that you liked me.” You’re taken back by the sudden boldness of his words. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to hear that you like me back, but it’s making it so much harder for me to leave.”

You nod at his words, reaching over to put your hand on his cheek. “I know and I’m sorry for his whole messed up situation, but isn’t it better knowing I feel the same thing, than never knowing that we had a chance in the first place?”

“I guess so.”, he says, looking back up at the ceiling. You sense that he needs time to sort out the mess in his head, so you keep quiet.

When the pizza arrives, you two eat in silence, both not knowing what to say and how to handle the situation.

You lay down again, but this time you pull him towards you so that his head rests on your chest. He closes his eyes, listening to your heartbeat. Jaemin wraps his arms around you, basking in your warmth and enjoying the first and probably last time he gets to hold you this close.

“If I could have it my way, I would ask you to be my Valentine for tomorrow by showing up at your house in a nice suit and flowers in my hand. Then I would give you the best Valentine you would ever have with cute self written love letters and compliments that I would shower you with over the day. But that won’t stop. Every day that I see you I tell you how much I appreciate having you in my life, how graced I am to call you mine. At least one day of every week I would plan a date for us to go on. Our relationship would bloom, and we would be that type of couple everyone’s jealous of. We graduate and start a life together. We have our ups and downs, but no matter what we always come back to each other. We would grow old and wrinkly together, sitting at the patio in our rocking chairs, watching our grandchildren play in the garden.”

A lonely tear rolls down your face, but you wipe it before Jaemin notices it. “God, that’s so cheesy. But I love it Jaemin.”

Jaemin sniffles a little, trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to leave again. “I can’t imagine that with anyone but you.”

He hugs you even tighter, feeling the exhaustion of the day catching up to him. He tugs his head into your neck, inhaling your calming scent as he closes his eyes.

“Maybe in another universe.”, you whisper, stroking his back. “Maybe in another universe we can be together.”

You leave a kiss on his forehead as you feel his body giving in to sleep. But you don’t sleep. You stay awake, holding Jaemin tight and thinking of any possible way of making Jaemins’ dream come true.

Day 5

Jaemin opens his eyes as the light shines through his window. He feels his head throb and his eyes burning.

“You’re finally awake.”, you say as kneel down in front of his mattress.

“What are you doing here?” You chuckle a little as you hear his sleepy voice and watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“I stayed the night, don’t you remember? I couldn’t possibly leave you alone like this.” You pass him the bowl, taking a seat beside him. “And I stayed to say that you might want to check your voice mail.”

“My voice mail?”, he asks, standing up and grabbing his house phone. He presses a few buttons before a voice starts playing.

“Hey man.”, he instantly recognizes this voice. “I asked Haechan were you are and he told me that you and Y/N called in sick today, which is weird since it’s Valentine’s Day and I bet you would have received a ton of flowers, but that’s not my point. I wanted to apologies and thank you. Turns out Cherry thought I was trying to play her and get her into bed. She didn’t take my confession serious the other day. So, she came up to me today and asked me to be her Valentine. I don’t know what happened, but I’m not going to complain. Thanks for believing in me, man. I will see you tomorrow and get well soon.”

The voice mail ends after that, but Jaemin can’t stop listening. He repeats it over and over again until you take the phone away from him.

“Did that really happen?”, he asks, thinking he is still dreaming.

“Yes, Jaemin. You did it. You passed your test.” Tears forming in his eyes, but for some reason, Jaemin doesn’t feel happy or relieved. Somehow, he feels sad.

“What’s wrong?”, you ask, rushing over to grab his hands. “Why aren’t you jumping up and down with happiness?”

“Because I have to leave.”, his voice wavering a little. “I have to leave you.” Upon those words leaving his lips, you feel your heart break into a million pieces. You spend the whole night thinking about this, about him leaving. It is weird to say this, but it feels like you were hit by an arrow of Amor yourself. You shouldn’t be feeling such strong emotions towards a boy you only know since the beginning of the week.

“It’s okay.”, you whisper after pulling him in for a hug. He clings himself onto you, tugging his head into your neck as he lets out a sob. You have to hold back yourself from breaking down as well. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard at first, but eventually we will move on, and it will hurt less.”

“But I don’t want to move on.”, he says through his sobs. “I want you.”

“I want you too, Jaemin.”, you break the hug, taking his face in your hands and looking him into his eyes.

“I will always want you.”, you whisper before gently placing your lips on his forehead.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Goodbye. A saying when you part ways with someone and officially Jaemins least favorite word.

Saying goodbye to you was probably the hardest thing Jaemin had to do, but there was no way around it. After you hugged him, again and again, until all the tears were shed, an angel picked him up to bring him back to his home.

Home. He doesn’t even want to call it that anymore. It currently doesn’t feel like he belongs there.

“Your father is awaiting you in his office.”, Jaemin nods at the angels’ words. “And congratulations on passing your test. We are all proud of you.” He should feel some sense of pride at those words, but he doesn’t.

Jaemin knocks on the door before he enters the big room. Nothing has changed in the five days that he was gone, except for him. He changed.

“Jaemin.”, Cupid speaks, making his way over to his son. “You passed your test. Congratulations. I knew you would do it.”

Jaemin watches as his father walks around his office. “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you these past days.” Cupid points to one of the chairs in his office, signaling for Jaemin to sit down. “I told you, you are not allowed to fall in love. And yet you did. You broke the only rule that I gave you.”

Silence fills up the room for a few seconds, as Armor thinks about his next words.

“Tell me about her.”

“What?”, Jaemin stutters, clearly not expecting to hear that.

“Tell me about her. I want to know why you broke the only rule I gave you and risked yourself being banned from here.”

Jaemin takes a deep breath, knowing that his next words are going to have to carry a lot of meaning.

“Her name is Y/N. She is a human, as you probably know. She goes to the school you sent me to and-“

“No, Jaemin. Don’t tell me the basic facts about her. I already know so much. Tell me what made you fall in love with her.”

“Oh wow, where to start?”, Jaemin wipes his hands on his jeans, trying to ease some of the tension in his body. “Well, she is kind. I think that that’s the first thing I noticed about her. The way she talks to people and helps them no matter what. She is so selfless. Always looking out for others and putting her own worries aside. She rambles a lot and I think that’s the most adorable thing ever. Sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and talks for minutes about the most random stuff to ever be heard. Oh, and the way she loves. I’ve never seen someone love so much and so unconditional. She has such a big heart and I love that. I love her. I love her so much.”

A small smile forms on his fathers face and Jaemin swears it’s been too long since he’s seen his father smile.

“You know I have to give you a punishment for your actions.”

Jaemin sighs, knowing that whatever follows will probably not be good. “Yeah, whatever it is, I will take it.”

His father walks back to his desk, taking a seat. “You know the Gods weren’t exactly happy to see you fall in love with a mortal. They’ve been quiet upset and I talked to them. Together we found a punishment that would make up for it.” Jaemin lowers his head, watching his hands nervously fidgeting.

“We decided to send you down to earth. Permanently. Of course you are allowed to visit every now and then, but your home won’t be here anymore. You will be mortal just like the other humans on earth.”

At his fathers’ words, Jaemin’s head shoots up. “What?”

“You heard me.”, his father says, his wings twitching a little. “You can pack your things and leave whenever you are ready.”

“But what about the job? I thought I was supposed to take over.”

“I think I can manage this job for a few eternities more.”

Jaemin just sits there, not knowing what to say or what to think.

“Dad, I don’t know what to say. How can I ever thank you for that.”

“Thank me?”, his dad asks. “Don’t thank me. It’s a punishment after all.” He sends his son a wink, before grabbing a pile of paper on his desk. “What are you waiting for? You should pack, before I change my mind.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You never felt pain like this. Ever since Jaemin left, you have been curled up in your bed, crying your eyes out and ignoring all the calls from Haechan and Jeno.

You know they just care about you, but you don’t feel like talking to anyone. You just want Jaemin and no one else.

“Y/N?”, your mom asks as she knocks on your door. “Y/N sweety, there is someone at the door for you.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Can you send them away please?”

But your mom doesn’t leave. “I really think you should talk to him. He seems kind of nervous, and he has flowers.”

Him? Flowers? Does Haechan really think flowers would make you feel better? With a groan you stand up, opening your door and ignoring the worried look on your moms face as you make your way downstairs.

“Haechan, you know I love you, but I really don’t feel like having company right now and I would love if you could leave so I can wither in self-pity.” You keep your eyes on the ground as you open the door, not wanting to reveal the tears on your face.

“That’s unfortunate, I would have loved to take you out on a date.” That’s not Haechan’s voice and those are definitely not Haechan’s shoes you are looking at.

In an instant you look up and can’t believe when you see Jaemin standing there. He is dressed in a black suit, his hair neatly combed back and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Jaemin?”, you ask, not believing your eyes.

“Yep, that’s my name.”

Tears fill your eyes as you look him at him, taking in his soft features. It feels like you haven’t seen him in months, while in reality it’s just been a few hours. “It’s really you?” He nods, having tears in his eyes as well. “But how?”

“I will explain it all to you later. But before that I want to take you out on the best date you will ever have.”

You take a few seconds, trying to control your feelings, but failing miserably and just letting your tears stream down your face.

“Oh, fuck it.”, you say, before leaping into his arms and pressing your lips on his. You hear him sighing into the kiss, letting go of the flowers and wrapping both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you as close as possible as he lets his lips speak all the words he could never put into a sentence.

In that moment you decide that kissing him is the second best feeling you ever get to have.

The best feeling of all is loving him.

And that you will until the end of time. In this universe and in every other one as well.

Bonus scene

The cafeteria table is filled with laughter. Jaemin can’t help but to admire the little friend group he made. Haechan and Jeno bickering over an unknown reason, Mark feeding a piece of an apple to Cherry and you, tucked under his arm, laughing at your friends.

“I swear,”, Mark starts to say. “I’m so glad everything turned out the way it did.”

“Why so sentimental all of the sudden?”, Haechan asks, eyeing his friend with a suspicious look on his face.

“I don’t know. I’m just happy.”, Mark shrugs, taking one of Cherry’s hands in his.

“Me too.”, Jaemin speaks up, catching the attention of his friends. “I’m also happy with the way things turned out for us.”

You poke his side, laughing softly at the way he flinches together. “Is my baby getting emotional?” A gagging sound can be heard from the other side of the table.

“You guys are gross.”, Jeno says, making Haechan nod in agreement.

You just roll your eyes, throwing french fries at their heads. “You’re just jealous that your discord kittens are actually 56 year old men.”

The two boys start to complain, but no one listens to the excuses they try to come up with.

“No, but seriously.”, Mark starts again. “If you hadn’t sent Cherry my song, we would never sit here.”

Jaemin eyes Mark with confusion written all over his face. “Song? I didn’t-“ But before Jaemin can finish his sentence, you elbow him into the side, making him groan in pain.

“Yeah, right? That was so clever and kind of Jaemin. I’m really glad the two of you ended up together. You make a great couple.”, you tell Mark and Cherry, making both of them show you a sweet grin in return.

Jaemin looks at down at you with his eyebrows frowned, but you just give him a warm smile and lay your head on his shoulder.

And that’s when he realizes that it was you all along. You sent Mark’s song to Cherry and you were the reason Jaemin passed his test and Mark and Cherry fell in love. It was you that made it possible for all of you sitting at this table together.

All Jaemin can do is pull you closer to him and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. He will talk to you later and express the gratitude he has for the things you’ve done. But for now Jaemin enjoys the moment of quietness that he has with the love of his life in his arms and his friends around him.

This is the life Jaemin always dreamed of having and now his dream finally came true.

[shinobuily]

“Some children are just simply born with tragedy in their blood.”

Megumi knew this ever since he was little. The day Gojo took him in, he knew his fate. He couldn’t explain the feeling, but it was as if the weight of tragedy flowed through his veins, an inheritance he couldn’t deny.

Flashback

“We need another plan Yuji and fast we’re running out of options.” Megumi yelled pacing back and fourth endlessly replaying the worst possible scenarios in his mind. He didn’t realize he was totally out of it until he was on the ground, pupils dilated, skin as pale as a ghost with Yuji screaming in front of him.

“Megumi? Please Megumi can you hear me? I’ll explain the plan on the way there. Get up please.” I could hear the desperation his voice. I needed to be strong.

“The quicker we act on this, the greater the chance of success. I believe we can rescue your sister.” Yuji said standing up and offering his hand

“Okay.” Megumi said taking, his hand pulling him up.

“We’ll get through this Megumi. Now, let’s go.”

End of flashback

Yuji's counterattack proved valiant, yet Kenjaku surpassed even his best efforts. Yuji could only lie amidst his own pooling blood, a silent witness as Sukuna commandeered his closest friend's body. 'Pathetic,' he thought bitterly, and soon his world went black.

Megumi’s POV

As Sukuna's presence enveloped me, a suffocating dread settled deep within my chest, crushing me beneath its weight. My limbs, once under my command, now moved at the whim of the cursed spirit, a cruel reminder honestly.

In those moments, my mind became a battleground, torn between the horror of Sukuna's actions and the futile desire to reclaim control. Each movement he made, each life he extinguished, sent shards of despair piercing through my shattered soul. It was as if I were a mere bystander in my own body, forced to witness the atrocities committed in my name.

The anguish was unbearable, a relentless onslaught that threatened to consume me whole. Amidst the chaos, a sense of profound loss washed over me, mourning not only for the lives taken but for the fragments of my own humanity slipping away with each passing moment.

I wanted to scream, to fight back against the darkness threatening to swallow me whole, but my voice remained trapped within the confines of my mind, a silent plea drowned out by the sound of Sukuna's laughter.

And as I watched the world through Sukuna's eyes, a hollow ache settled in the pit of my stomach, a bitter reminder of the innocence lost and the inevitable descent into darkness that awaited me.

It appears my conscience spoke true. The day of my birth heralded not joy, but an unyielding fate, sealing my existence. Now, at this moment I knew, I was a child doomed from the very start.

[breelandwalker]

Flower Moon - May 5, 2023

Ready your gathering baskets and your best shoes for traipsing, witches - it's time to greet the Flower Moon!

Flower Moon

The Flower Moon gives us the fulfillment of the first flush of the Pink Moon, with fragrant blossoms greeting us at every turn and heralding the merry month of May. The floral name for this particular cycle is shared by a number of indigenous nations, include the Algonquin, Anishnaabe, and Dakota. Other names include Budding Moon and Frog Moon (Cree), Planting Moon (Dakota and Lakota), and the Moon of Mulberry (Choctaw).

European names for this moon include Milk Moon (Anglo-Saxon) and Hare Moon (Celtic, allegedly). Modern pagan circles sometimes call it the Grass Moon as well, since the flourishing of grasslands is more common in some areas than the appearance of flowers.

Notes: This year, there is a Penumbral Lunar Eclipse accompanying the Flower Moon. This is a barely visible shadow on the full moon which will be visible largely in the Eastern Hemisphere. Check your local astronomical forecast to see if it will be visible in your area.

This full moon peaks during daylight hours in the Western Hemisphere (around 1:35pm EDT), so the moon may appear to be full on both the nights of the 4th and 5th. It also falls about three-quarters through a Mercury Retrograde, so take whatever steps you deem appropriate.

What Does It Mean For Witches?

As we pass the spring rites and move toward the summer season, it's the perfect time to celebrate your growth and the ways in which you want to flourish. This is the season for romance and love, and not just that which comes when we put on flower crowns and go a-Maying. This is a time to love ourselves as much as each other, and to be reminded of our own beauty and strength. Remember the things you love about yourself and consciously take a moment to remind your loved ones how much you care for them.

It is also a time to celebrate fertility, be it animal, vegetable, mineral, or spiritual. Put new plans into action, start that project you've been meaning to do, embark on that new hobby or activity you wanted to try. If you have a long-term goal or a big project, now is the time to outline your path to completion and plan how to direct your energy so you don't burn out halfway through. Don't hold back - break through the walls of imposter syndrome and anxiety, indulge in your creative urges, and let your inspiration soar. What you choose to plant and nurture now determines what you will harvest later in the year. And above all, remember to have FUN!

What Witchy Things Can We Do?

If you've been feeling the urge to do some flower-related magic, now is the perfect time! Familiarize yourself with the wildflowers in your area and if possible, maybe grab your basket and scissors and go on a foraging trip. Remember to properly identify flowers before picking them, don't overharvest, and don't take anything from private property without permission or from national parks full stop. You can press the flowers with a notebook and something flat and heavy, or you can dry them in hanging bunches, in a cardboard tray, or in a low-temp oven for later use.

This is also a good opportunity to get your hands in the dirt and connect with the land where you live. If there are plants in your care, take a little time to do some pruning and watering. Check them for spring pests and treat where needed. Give them some love - talk to them, sing to them, encourage them to grow tall and strong and abundant. Bless them as you tend their plots and reaffirm your commitment to be a good caretaker.

As an exercise, try making flower crowns, garlands, bouquets, wreaths, or centerpieces using plant correspondences, flower language, or color magic for a desired effect. This can be done with real flowers or silk ones, depending on how long you want to keep them around. Try your hand at making flower water with roses or other blooms - it makes a wonderful base for moon water!

Experiment with recipes for dishes and drinks that use edible flowers too! Whether it's color-changing butterfly peaflower tea, sweet and peppery nasturtium, adorable pressed pansy shortbread cookies, or the tried-and-true comforts of chamomile, flowers have many tasty secrets to offer. Don't be afraid to add botanicals to your health and beauty routine as well! (Just make sure nothing's going to negatively interact with your meds or irritate a pre-existing condition. Safety first!)

Whether you do so with your near-and-dear, your witchy circle, or by yourself, celebrate everything that blooms - including you!

Happy Flower Moon, witches! 🌕🌼

Further Reading:

Flower Moon: Full Moon in May 2023, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Moonrise and Moonset Calculator, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Flower Meanings: Symbolism of Flowers, Herbs, and More Plants, The Old Farmer's Almanac

Floriography, the Language of Flowers, AllFlorists.co.uk

Flower Moon: The Astonishing Full Moon of May 2023, The Peculiar Brunette

How to Dry Flowers 5 Ways, MasterClass, June 7, 2021

DIY Floral Water or Hydrosol, Patti Estep, Hearth and Vine, July 4, 2021

17 Edible Flower Recipes, Better Homes and Gardens, March 8, 2022

Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living, Dorothy Morrison

(If you're enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

svt reaction: the one who got away | part 1 hyung line version

this v angsty request is from @f4iryjjosh and IT HURT MY SOUL TO WRITE hahahaha thank you so much for the request angel <3 i hope it fulfills all ur desires! (part 2 coming soon :))

the idea is that SVT breaks up with y/n after meeting someone else and falling for them, and then realizing they made a huge mistake, but you've moved on and there's nothing they can really do about it. it is all angst and pain. there is no relief.

seungcheol. he hated hearing his full name from anyone's lips, and he should've hated it even more coming from the lips that he'd be dreaming about for ages. but for some reason, in your voice, it made him smile. even after all this time.

and that smile, the one where he looked at you with his big shining eyes like you'd saved his life or restored his family honor, was almost enough to make you forget everything that had happened between you.

almost.

as it was, you gave him a soft smile back. "hey," you said. "you okay?"

a thousand thoughts pass through his mind at once -- you in his arms, you sighing his name, you breaking down in tears in your best dress in the restaurant where he broke your heart, you you you. god knows all the ways he’s thought about you, in spite of himself, with an alcohol burn to the back of his throat or stone-cold sober. some mistakes stick around, and what he said to you that night is undoubtedly the clingiest one he’s ever made. he knew it then, and he knows it now — seeing your face, however hesitant or worried you might look, is enough for him to know he’s still dead gone over you.

he shakes himself back to reality. "yeah," he says. "i'm okay. you look...great. happy."

"i am," you reply, and he notices, like a knife to his chest, you playing with a glittering ring on your finger, a nervous habit.

"is that --" he says, pointing, "what i think it is?"

you look down at your hand. "oh, yeah!" you exclaim, and despite yourself you smile broadly. "yeah, it is. um, it's pretty new, though. just happened last week."

"does he treat you right?" seungcheol asks, his eyes serious, his tone sharper than he intended. he'll know if you're lying, he always does.

so when you nod, thinking about the man you'll marry, about how he's sweet and gentle and knows how to pull a smile out of you on your very worst days, seungcheol's heart breaks a little more. because he knows it’s true, which means it’s all really over. the fire that kept your relationship with him alive has burned out, and he's the only one with any ashes left to spare.

he musters a smile as well. "good. i'm happy for you. well, it was good seeing you again," he says, turning away. and he curses his eyes for stinging, because he knew if you saw him cry you'd feel guilty, but after everything he put you through, you deserve to just be happy -- happy and nothing else -- for once.

jeonghan it was gradual for him, but it could be traced back to a very specific moment: when he found that letter from you, the one you’d written in class before you’d ever decided to mean anything to each other:

“date me?” it read, with two checkboxes, yes or no. jeonghan remembers how he checked the box labeled “yes” with a crisp black pen to hand back to you, and the look in your eyes when you unfolded it, and the smiles on both of your faces after you’d made out in the boys’ bathroom on the second floor like a couple of love-drunk highschoolers.

that note had heralded feelings jeonghan was desperate to ignore. he had ended it with you. his life was a carefully orchestrated set of advantageous events. he was always the one in control, and he never, ever lost.

so why did he feel like the world’s most pathetic loser whenever he saw that stupid note?

in the end, he’d had to do some serious soul-searching to determine why he even cared so much. he’d been bored, he determined — bored because you were so easy to be around, bored because you never made him feel unsafe or unloved, bored because loving you wasn’t a game he could play to win.

even now, as he stared at the note in his hands, crumpled with the years, jeonghan fought off the urge to call you. he lurked on social media and saw you traveling, eating, living like you’d always wanted to live. just a week prior he’d nearly cried at a picture of you in front of a castle somewhere in Germany, your arms outstretched like you were ready to hug the whole world. it was so you — the castle, the pose, the huge smile in the photo, even the windswept hair. and it hurt so much to see how beautiful you still were.

and a part of him knew that if he called, you would come back for him. because that was who you were.

so he never called, even as he burned with a thousand regrets for all the things he’d done wrong. selfish as he might be, he wasn’t monstrous enough to rob you of a life that was fuller without him in it.

joshua. you really never could be mad at joshua. not even when your relationship was staggering to its painful end, not even when you both knew that it wasn't working, not even when he broke up with you and started dating someone he'd told you not to worry about.

and not now, when you've run into him at a restaurant, right around the two-year mark of the breakup. you weren't in a great place when you'd started dating joshua, and the relationship had brought out the very worst in you, prompting a long period of self-improvement following the breakup.

now, you're in an amazing place, so much so that you're actually happy to see joshua here -- still with the girl he left you for, but looking preoccupied until you called his name and he met your eyes.

his eyes light up. "hi!" he says. "wow, it's you!"

"it is," you say, smiling. "how are things?"

he hesitates, and your heart sinks. you can tell that he hasn't done as well post-breakup as you have, and where the past you would've been a little smug about that, now you just feel compassionate. "things are crazy," he says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

because in truth, joshua's looking at you, and though his hand is on the knee of the woman he thought would be better for him than you were, he's wishing he could stand up and hug you. here you are, just like in his memories but better, because your eyes are bright with life and your brows aren't knit together in worry like they always seemed to be when you were together.

joshua knew the relationship you'd had with him had been really hard on you. and he understood the reasons why it didn't work. you had been so insecure you couldn't see your own appeal, and joshua had been burnt out trying to prove it to you. and he could see that he'd made the right choice -- for you, at least.

because for him, every time he looked into the eyes of the woman he was with now, he wished they were yours.

this was an admission he couldn't make to himself until you were there in front of him, in a way he'd only let himself imagine after his lover was asleep next to him and he was drifting off himself.

and oh, it burns.

he doesn't say anything about it now -- that's going to have to wait for later, at home, where things are going to need to be said. but for now, he greets you politely, watching you leave after a bout of small talk that taught him nothing at all about where you ended up after he broke your heart. and he wonders vaguely if he'll ever, ever, ever forgive himself.

the odds aren't good.

junhui. "hey stranger," he says, and even after all the time and everything that has passed between the two of you, it still makes you ache a little.

but you muster a smile, a little wave. "hey jun."

"you're here for work?" it's not really a question he's asking, because you know he already knows that that's why you're on this particular street.

"yeah," you say anyway. "and you? what brings you here?"

he smiles to himself. "just needed some fresh air."

he'll never tell you that it's because he's been religiously coming here since you blocked his number two years ago, hoping this very thing would happen.

"how have you been?" you ask him, and he fights back memories of the times he spent without you, with someone else, knowing that if he remembers them it'll show on his face.

"good," he lies. never mind that at the back of his closet is a hoodie he let you borrow, and it's hidden back there because it still smells like you. never mind that he's been spending day after day in this same stupid alley where you film those same videos for your job, hoping that you'll show up so he can see you. "and you?"

"i'm happier than ever," you tell him.

and you look it. you look happy. happier than you were with him.

with a funny feeling in his stomach, jun turns away from you with a little wave. "well, it was good to see you again. i'm glad you're happy."

he'll never come back to this street again.

soongyoung. "what are you doing here?" asks soonyoung with wide eyes.

you gesture to the man at your side. "i'm here on a date, actually," you say. and oh, thank goodness you look good, and your date (who is your longtime boyfriend, actually) looks good, because, well, soonyoung also looks good. and you're glad you've run into him at an opportune moment for you.

"oh," he says, looking at the man beside you. "uh, you must be..."

"my boyfriend," you finish for him. "this is soonyoung," you say to your boyfriend.

your boyfriend gives him a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. he's heard all about the man who broke your heart into a thousand pieces, leaving him to pick up all the pieces and put them back together again. he doesn't mind doing it, but because of how badly you were hurt, he has spent more time than he'd like to admit wishing you'd never met the man in front of him right now. "hi," he says, shaking soonyoung's hand.

"hi," soonyoung says breathlessly. "wow, uh...nice to meet you. i'm, well..."

"my ex," you say with a smile. "it's okay. he knows."

of course he knows, soonyoung thinks to himself. of course you had to have had the discussion about how your previous boyfriend fell out of love with you.

or thought he had.

"how's ... um... i don't remember their name," you admit, trying to recall the person soonyoung had left you for.

"it didn't work out between us," he says quickly. "we broke up six months ago."

"oh," you say. "i'm sorry."

it's awkward now, the three of you standing there staring at each other, so you grab your boyfriend's hand. "well, it was good seeing you," you say as you pull him away.

you have a nice dinner with your boyfriend and even laugh over the encounter later. but soonyoung is haunted for months. because he noticed how safe and easy it was between you and your boyfriend, and it reminded him of how you used to act with him before he messed everything up.

wonwoo. as cautious and careful as wonwoo always was about everything, regret was not a common experience for him. so it was quite the shock when he found himself filled with it night after night following his split from the person he left you for.

when he'd broken up with you, you'd sincerely wished him well, and promised he'd never see you again if he didn't want to. and two years later, you'd kept that promise, never reaching out to him, never begging him for an explanation he didn't want to give, never worrying him with memories of the two of you when you'd been happy.

and this had been part of the reason why he'd broken up with his new girlfriend -- he kept remembering how unobtrusive you were. the way you fit into his life like a puzzle piece made for him. and even now, as he rereads all the passionately hateful texts his now-ex spams his phone with, he remembers you.

it's been forever since he unfollowed you on social media, but he looks you up all the same. he almost follows you again, almost likes your most recent post of you out with some friends, but thinks better of it.

you were so fair to him, so up-front and honest about everything. how unkind it would be, he thinks, to dredge up the past when you look so happy. how unpleasant for you, to be reminded of someone who hurt you so deeply.

so he shuts off his phone and sinks into bed, allowing the regret to wash over him like a wave.

jihoon. explaining that he'd fallen out of love with you was the second most exhausting task of jihoon's entire life. the most exhausting one, it turns out, was staying in a relationship with the person he'd left you for while pesky reminders of you kept flooding his brain.

after yet-another fight with his current partner, jihoon lies awake in bed, his jaw clenched, as he remembers how you'd make up with him after a fight, crawling into bed beside him and kissing his cheeks and whispering "i'm sorry", sometimes through tears, until he'd turn and embrace you back.

his current partner never apologizes or even admits any responsibility at all. as he lays there remembering how it felt to have your face buried in his neck, he comes to the shocking realization that he wishes it was you beside him still.

because with you, he knew he could always tap you on the shoulder and beat you to an apology, and it would be immediately forgiven. the guilt of having broken a heart like that is too overwhelming for him, and he suddenly needs to talk to you like he needs air in his lungs to live.

so he silently slides from bed, picks up his cell phone, and leaves the room. he dials your number from memory, having deleted it from his phone.

"your call cannot be completed as dialed," the voice says. he blinks and tries again. same response. it occurs to him that you may have blocked him for your own sanity, and the guilt intensifies, turning into tears he hates almost as much as he hates himself.

he spends the rest of the night with his phone in his hand, looking for any traces of you that may be left in the photos and memories there.