#a little bit cracky

[seas-of-silver]

Did the doctor say "triplets"?!🤭

‘Did the doctor say "triplets"?!’ Rose burst excitedly as Adrien and Marinette walked through the door of Alya and Nino’s home for their monthly Akuma Class (and friends) game day. ‘Oh, please let it be triplets!’

‘Wha-’ Marinette began.

‘No, I’m sure it’s twins,’ Mylène cut in, just as animatedly as Rose was.

‘Guys, it could be a single child,’ said Marc calmly.

‘Or quadruplets,’ Nathaniel suggested teasingly, earning him a playful elbow from Marc and a squeal of delight from the girls.

‘The real question is whether it’s a boy or a girl,’ interjected Kim.

‘And if there’s more than one, how many of which gender!’ added Ivan, looking over his shoulder. ‘Max?’

Max was sitting at the kitchen counter, paper everywhere, pen scribbling, and tapping away at the calculator. ‘Hang on. I’m almost done my calculations - Markov’s just getting me more information on their genetic history.’

‘How-’ Adrien started.

‘What about you, Alix?’ Luka prompted.

‘Hey, don’t look at me,’ Alix replied, holding her hands up by her head. ‘Even if I do know, I can’t tell you.’

Everyone grumbled at that.

‘Guys, what’s going on?’ Adrien asked, finally getting their friends’ attention.

‘We are speculating on the quantity and gender of yours and Marinette’s unborn child/children,’ Kagami informed them.

‘Right… and why now?’ questioned Marinette.

‘Because you two went to the doctors,’ answered Félix, as if that explained everything.

Marinette frowned and folded her arms. ‘And how did you find out we were at the doctors?’

Their friends went silent, but their eyes flickered, glanced, or even outright stared at Nino, who looked everywhere except at his best friends.

‘Seriously, Nino?’

Nino winced at Marinette’s unimpressed tone.

‘All I said was that you guys would be late because you had an appointment before coming over!’ he defended.

Marinette turned her gaze to Alya, who nodded.

‘It’s true,’ Alya confirmed. ‘They just took it and ran with it.’

‘But how could we not?’ piped up Socqueline. ‘We had our catch-up brunch pushed back to a late lunch because you weren’t feeling well, and when we did meet, you hardly touched the cold meats and cheeses like you normally would!’

‘Couldn’t that just be because she still wasn’t feeling well?’ Juleka muttered.

‘And Adrien has been super protective over you for the last few months,’ Zoe stated.

‘But isn’t that because of the threats she was getting from that competing designer from the competition held earlier this week?’ Sabrina asked curiously.

‘Geez, who’s side are you two on?’ Rose huffed petulantly at Juleka and Sabrina; the two merely shrugging in response.

‘Let’s just calm down, okay? We’ll tell you what happened,’ Adrien soothed, sharing a look with Marinette, and everyone settled down - even Max stopped his calculating and Markov stuck his head out of the study to listen in.

‘We went to the optometrist,’ Marinette began, and she could already see interest drop, ‘because Adrien wanted to make sure he wouldn’t need glasses like Gabriel did-‘

‘Booooooo! Gabriellll!’ came the predictable jeers from their friends. Ever since the truth was revealed about Adrien’s father, all their friends rallied around him in support, offering food, shelter and safe spaces for Adrien to find comfort in, which meant a lot to him.

‘-and we found out that Adrien’s vision is perfectly fine!’

Mutterings of how that was good news filled the room, but it was clearly not the content they were hoping for.

‘So that’s where we were this morning,’ Adrien said to their despondent crowd. ‘Oh, and we also visited Maman and Papa at the bakery to pick up the pastries for our meet-up, and to tell them they’ll be grandparents to a little boy in six months time.’

Marinette watched as their friends’ eyes widened when their words sunk in, and covered her ears and laughed at the chaos and screams of joy that exploded from their friends.

~/~

Ask game: Give me the first sentence and I'll write a short piece for it!

[kickassclefable]

MossuGoji date

sorry for your loss, haters

[the-quiet-fire-of-defiance]

Te Hōkioi, and Speculation on the Dietary Habits of the Great Eagles

He Hōkioi, i runga, he Hōkioi, i runga, hū.

(The great eagle, from above, made a booming call)

Kei te āputa koe, nā, o te rangi, e noho ana,

(In the open space, there, in the sky, it dwells)

Te hoa moenga, nō whatitiri mātakataka;

(Death's companion, with crashing thunder)

Hei aha, tērā, e tararua mārire, ona hikumaro?

(Why, then, do its tail feathers no longer split the quiet in two?)

Rua maro tonu, ona hakikau;

(Two fathoms wide, its wings;)

E huhū nei, i runga te rangi,

(It called, above in the sky)

Hōkioi, Hōkioi.

(The sound: hōkioi, hōkioi.)

- poem/chant by the great Ngāti Toa chief Te Rauparaha

For @tolkienofcolourweek, I'm spending seven days bringing Māoritanga and mātauranga Māori to the world of Tolkien! Starting off on day 1 with: what did Manwë's Eagles eat?

Such massive animals, especially flying ones, would have required a huge caloric intake. We have little evidence about what potential prey may have existed in Beleriand and Middle Earth. The Hobbit mentions them eating sheep, and it seems likely that they would hunt other large animals, such as deer or bison. But there's nothing in our modern world that compares to or fills an ecological niche like Manwë's Eagles.

This is where I draw on Māori oral history of the largest eagles to ever live.

In English they're called Haast's Eagles, but in Māori there are several names. Probably the most well-known of the Māori names is pouakai/poukai, but my people called them hōkioi.

They were massive, weighing as much as 17.8 kg (about 39 lbs) and with wingspans as large as 3 metres (about 10ft). Their feet and claws were the size of modern day tigers, capable of punching through bone. They hunted prey more than fifteen times their own size.

(Granted, the eagles of Manwë are much larger than even the hōkioi! Still, it's similar enough for me to draw inspiration.)

[Left image: an artist's rendition of a hōkioi perched on a rock. Right image: an artist's rendition of a hōkioi attacking the neck of a giant flightless bird.]

The hōkioi's primary prey was the moa, large flightless birds similar to ostriches or emus. With no large land mammals on the islands, hōkioi were the apex predators.

Then, circa 900 CE, large mammals came to Aotearoa for the first time. They also preyed on moa, reducing the hōkioi's food supply. So perhaps it was natural that the hōkioi began to hunt these mammals as new prey.

Unfortunately, those mammals were us.

[Left image: an artist's rendition of a hōkioi attacking a Māori man who holds a spear. Right image: an artist's rendition of a child running from a hōkioi.]

Our stories of the hōkioi, or pouakai, tell of giant birds that could swoop down from the sky to kill and eat even strong warriors. They were also known to carry off small children.

I'm not saying that the eagles of Manwë ate elves or humans. (I think they were probably given firm instructions not to!) It would make sense for them to prey on orcs and other creatures of Morgoth, though. And there's one other group who we know were hunted like animals in Beleriand, due to... misunderstandings. A group who the Eagles may not have initially recognized as sentient creatures. A group who would have been an ideal size to pick up and carry off as a snack.

I'm just saying, I think there may have been multiple reasons that dwarves chose to live underground.

-

(Sources for further information about te hōkioi:

The man-killer that fell from the sky

NZ Birds: Haast's Eagle)

[curiosity-killed]

Alphabet asks: E, F and Y

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i mean, I think my various dumb comics are hilarious but. i'm not sure that counts:

lan zhan and jiang cheng 4ever

hua cheng tormented by xie lian's relationship with his foam roller

whipstitch BEAR ATTACK!! (in which i was the art + @lemeute the brains)

i feel like i have to have written some crack/have at least made myself laugh with my fics but scrolling thru my ao3......there is not. much

oh i guess i wrote some juniors crack which sort of turned into crack taken seriously but i'm counting it bc it opens with this:

“I’m going to say it,” Zizhen says abruptly. “Please don’t,” Jingyi says, voicing Sizhui’s own unuttered thoughts. “Why did no one tell us the Yiling Patriarch was so — so handsome?” Zizhen demands.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Both answered here!

fandom ABCs

[the-elusive-soleil]

I don't usually draw, but I was listening to the Grinch song and thinking Silm thoughts and this happened:

[thefallenvenus]

🦇- Trying to feed off of your muse! ((this goin' be interesting uvu, feel free to ignore tho ^^'))

[stirs awake to sound of the sucking]

“Hmm? What is---”

[spots a pink hair girl sucking on a surprisingly fresh wound left by that brutish man]

“Hey! What are you doing?! I am not some fountain for drinking, get off me!”

[merrilark]

remembering that @ollie0ops once suggested klaus x kenny's mom and i laughed and then went uh oh

[citizen-of-the-fandom]

This whole 'write 200 words a day' thing is working great. I'll have 3,000 words by tomorrow, which is 1,800 words more than I needed and still more than I've written since my 2-day New Year's Resolution.

[vixensbrainrotts]

Ran fucked up

Summary: so you found out that Ran is sorta-kinda using you for information, money and material for Tenjiku and took revenge before the damage was too heavy. Come the time when Ran was supposed to display results, he has some explaining to do…

Tropes: Tenjiku! Arc

Content warnings: none really, this time around its just kinda cracky, implied intentional accidents i guess? Idk let me know if there’s anything

Vixen’s two cents: I saw that prompt and JUMPED on the opportunity cause i had a silly little idea (lets pretend im not writing this in my theory of evolution lecture right now). This is such a funny prompt to me, I hope you enjoy. Prompt taken from @the-cypress-grove - prompt 131 (thank youuuuu) Remember that my requests are open if you have any ideas!

Rindou has never seen his older brother this nervous- actually, this is the first time he’s seen him nervous, ever. The man in question was pacing (to the best of his efforts) restlessly, and it was driving Rin insane. „It‘s your fault, you know?“ Rindou quipped from where he was sitting. „And you’re not fucking helping. Izana is going to rip me apart, if i survive Kakucho that is.“ Ran mutters more to himself than to his brother.

Rolling his eyes, Rindou decides that he has to take control of the situation. „Come on Ran, its best to get it over with fast, perhaps they’ll pity you because of your… state right now.“ Rindou makes his way to the door, shrugging on a cardigan and taking the keys out of the little dish by the door. The look that Ran gives him almost ignites a little bit of pity in Rindou. Almost.

20 minutes later the two of them are standing in front of the place of meeting and Ran is sweating bullets. „Come on..“ Rindou drawled again. Offended, Ran throws him a look „You’re not the one who’s about to get mauled.“ Ran crows in slight pain, but Rindou spared no sympathy, „Your fault.“ Rindou was the first to enter the area donning the heavenly kings‘s presence. He silently greet his colleagues with a curt wave, but felt a little puzzled when he didn’t receive one in return. The confused looks on their faces were almost comedic before Rindou noticed the distinct lack of brother by his side.

Rindou heaved a sigh and half-turns to face the entrance again, gesturing to the door for the Heavenly Kings to see. „He‘s coming, don’t worry.“ He assured and trudged on towards his place.

„Sit down Haitani.“ a sharp voice pierced the air as Izana spoke. A shiver ran down Rindou‘s spine, and all of a sudden he understood his brother‘s fear: Izana was scary as such, and blatantly terrifying when disappointed. Quickly, Rindou took a seat beside Mochi. Silence reigned after that. Not a word was spoken, not a breath was taken whilst they waited for Ran to enter.

Finally the tension broke when Ran walked through the door, his head low and limping slightly. „Were ya roughed up or something?“ Shion was the first to speak. „Well..“ Ran sounded a bit defeated as his voice trailed off, remaining standing at a respectable distance. „You’re here. And late at that.“, Izana‘s voice freezes the air as he speaks, „I hope for your sake that your little project proves to be as useful as you made it sound.“ Ran tries very hard to look anywhere but the Kings, instead trying to make eye-contact with his brother, but Rindou only raises his hands slightly in surrender and shoots him a look that says you brought yourself into this mess, im not gonna help you on this one.

„Do tell Ran. How‘s your little girlfriend doing, hm? Are you treating her well? Is the good service paying off? She give you somethin‘ yet?“ Shion has the gall to poke at Ran, stacking questions on him in a singsong tone. Despite the almost joking nature of the questions, they hang heavy in the air.

„I don’t think she likes me all that much right now.“ Ran finally says.

„What makes you think that?“ Kakucho is the one to speak this time, noticing Izana's annoyance and grasping the reigns of the conversation. Whilst he sounds genuinely concerned, Kakucho‘s half-blind eye does nothing to make Ran feel more comfortable, as he visibly shrinks beneath his gaze.

„She founded out.“ Ran breaks the news in a whisper, and the air around them changes into something much more alive, and much more electric. „What.“ Kakucho‘s voice is loud in stark contrast.

„She hit me with her car.“ Ran shrinks even further into himself when the guys surrounding him laugh. „Clever Girl!“ Shion quips between heaves of laughter, bracing himself against an also-snickering-Mucho who adds „What if it was an accident?“. Ran only shakes his head, face and neck ablaze with red as he puffs himself up against the humiliation. „She looked me dead in the eye and reversed!“ Laughter bounces off the walls once again.

[stevenose]

Obsessed with the thought of Steve torturing your hyper sensitive nipples after overstimulating your clit just to hear you beg for his cock

reader with a vagina, no gendered terms for reader

this is soooo shy!reader from the car blurb series i’m doin … steves gonna play with you. needs to hear that sweet lil voice whimpering and moaning just for him. and you’re trying so hard not to let him hear you. he’d be annoyed if you weren’t so cute. he has his thumb pressed nice and tight against your clit, rubbing slow, small circles into it while his mouth sucks bruises into your neck. as if he’s trying to pull your moans out from you.

you’re writhing below him. hands clenched tight around his biceps, half pushing him away - the attention is overwhelming - and half keeping him in place. steve coos at you, smiling sweet. he licks a fat stripe up your neck and rests his lips on the shell of your ear.

“does it feel good?”

you nod, eyes tightly shut.

“let me hear you,” he presses, his thumb applying a bit more pressure, moving a little faster.

“steve,” you whimper, embarrassed.

he’d like to quip at you, but your tits distract him (when don’t they?). your nipples look delicious, perked upwards, calling for his mouth. experimentally, he blows on them, watching in awe as your back arches them up towards him.

“jesus,” he groans. “you’re so fucking pretty. y’know that?”

you don’t answer, but it’s okay. he just has to get you worked up enough and then you’ll do whatever he asks. he slides his thumb up and down your folds, ruining any chance of orgasm you had, leaving you with the ache. you’re dripping onto his sheets and he’ll probably shove his face into it later while jerking himself off.

“what am i doin’ to you, baby?” he asks, like he’s sympathetic. “makin’ this pretty pussy cry?”

you nod, reaching up to cover your face.

“hey,” he calls softly, rubbing his nose against your hands. “it’s okay, think it’s so hot.”

you whimper again, thighs attempting to shut around his hand. he giggles, lets you do whatever you need to, and leans down to kiss down the swell of your breast to your perked bud.

“ah!”

steve’s gonna cum in his pants if you keep being vocal like that. he’s too excited, keeps trying to go slow, flicks your nipple with his tongue before closing his mouth around it. lets his teeth nip you just a bit, enough to make you -

“oh my god,” you moan, so whorish, so unlike you.

“there we go,” he moans back, mouth still full of you. he sucks your nipple gently and bites one more time before pulling away, pupils wide, drinking you in. “such pretty sounds, lemme hear some more -“

and you wail again when he gets back to it. your thighs squeeze harshly against his hand, threatening to make it go numb. you need him so bad, and he needs you even more. he licks a broad stripe up your tit before kissing over to the other one, giving it the same treatment, leaving hickeys on the swell of your breast.

“steve,” you gasp, hips bucking, thighs clenching. “oh, fuck, please?”

“what do you want?”

“god - what - whatever you’ll give me,” you pant, beads of sweat glistening at your hairline.

steve opens his mouth with a retort - this is what i’m giving you - but you steal his breath away when you moan, “i want your cock.”

“my cock?” he repeats, awestruck. about to fucking cum. there’s a lil string of saliva connecting you. “honey, i thought we didn’t do that.”

because, yeah, you’ve only ever just played with each other. his cock and your cunt have not yet met. but you want it more than anything now, so much that it feels like you’ll die if you don’t have it.

“please,” you beg, eyes wide, chest heaving. “i don’t care, i want it now, please, steve.”

a big hand parts your thighs again, letting him sink a finger inside of you. watching with frenzied hazel eyes at your reaction to the stretch, to the relief. how you sink down into his covers and sigh, shakily parting your legs for him to bully his way between them.

“say it again,” he begs, voice cracking.

there’s no hesitation. “i need your cock, steve.”

his finger curls up, making you cry as he finds your sweet spot. “uh-huh, angel, and you’re gonna fuckin’ get it.”

[seas-of-silver]

Adrien looked up at the dark clouds and down at Marinette's hand in his and thought, "maybe that kiss in the rain I've always dreamed about will happen today."

Adrien looked up at the dark clouds and down at Marinette's hand in his and thought, "maybe that kiss in the rain I've always dreamed about will happen today."

He wasn't sure when he first started to desire for such a kiss. Perhaps it was the day that Marinette tried to return his umbrella to him, and the umbrella closing in on them, trapping them together in a moment that could've made the perfect scenario for a sneaky kiss as the waterproof fabric hid them from the world, keeping such a sacred moment between just the two of them. Possibly it was because of that time he and Marinette were standing in the rain, the air filled with tension before his father demanded he get in the car and go home to Paris. Or maybe it was when he first gave Marinette that umbrella on that wonderful day they first became friends - he had always felt more for her than "just a friend" (even if he didn't realise it until after that fateful day in the wax museum when their lips brushed due to her prank- wait, was it really a prank? He had to store that thought away for later), but maybe it became a subconscious desire that stemmed from that moment? Or perhaps it was because of his mother's guilty-pleasure go-to movie, The Notebook? Nah, it couldn't be that. But what about-

'Hey,' Marinette's gentle voice jolted him from his musings and he looked at her as they still stood under the shelter of their school entrance, 'a euro for your thoughts?'

'A euro?' Adrien repeated, amusement lacing his tone. 'My thoughts aren't that expensive.'

'I beg to differ,' she teased, smiling up at him, and he felt his breath escape him. 'Your thoughts are worth at least a hundred euros.'

'No, see, that's how much your thoughts are worth,' he countered with a grin, 'whereas mine are worth... yeah, five cents.'

'Liar,' she rebutted lightheartedly, 'but while we both know your thoughts are worth a thousand euros at minimum, we're getting off track - what were you thinking about?'

Right. His thoughts. About kissing. In the rain. He felt his face heat up quicker than a pan on a stovetop.

'I... uh, erm...' Adrien stammered.

She lay a hand on his arm and looked up at him sympathetically. 'If you can't say, that's okay.'

She had a heart of gold and he was going to cry- or propose- or do something stupid because he loved her so much. He had such an understanding girlfriend!

'I was just wondering about kisses in the rain and what it's be like if we kissed in the rain!' Adrien spat it all out so fast that he sure all Marinette heard was a garbled mess of vowels and consonants that didn't hold the slightest resemblance to the French language, yet somehow-

'You want to have a kiss in the rain?' she asked kindly.

All he could do was nod. It wasn't weird, right? To want to have a romantic movie moment where you kiss your love in the rain?

Silently taking his hand, she led him out into the rain. Their eyes never broke contact as they made their way further into the downpour. It was cold and uncomfortable as the chilly rain hit his clothes, hair and skin, but this was for love and for science! Well, maybe not science, but definitely for love and romance!

His hand cradled her cheek, just as her hand came up to his face. Perhaps when they were kissing they'd begin to feel warmer? He leaned forward, as did she, and their lips met. They were wet and tasted a little salty, and he was still cold. Maybe he needed to amp it up a little?

He deepened the kiss and held her closer, really giving the kiss his all. Kissing Marinette was always an absolute delight that made his heart flutter, just like it was doing now, but-

'I'm sorry, Marinette, but it's way too cold and all I can think about is us catching colds,' Adrien admitted as soon as he broke the kiss.

'Oh thank god,' Marinette sighed in relief, 'I thought I was the only one thinking that! Wanna head over to mine and warm up?'

Adrien could think of nothing more wonderful, and in lieu of responding, he took her hand and made a beeline for the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Soon, they were towel-dried, huddled in blankets like burritos and soothing the bone-deep cold with the molten heaven that was Marinette's special hot chocolates as they sat in front the heater.

'Better?' Marinette asked.

Adrien leaned over and kissed her soundly. Now this was how a kiss was meant to be!

'Yeah,' he admitted breathily, eyes fixated on her irresistible lips, already leaning in for another kiss, 'much better.'

~/~

Ask game: Give me the first sentence and I'll write a short piece for it!

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel|Alastor X Reader

Right now in love with a deep home type comfort, to sleep in rainy nights, Tea and deep voices.

This is presenting Alastor Scenario when your unable to sleep because it is hell, and some of your tapes broke.

You woke up with cold sweat, wavering breathing it kept happening, you opened your curtains a little bit to see the horrible view.

The Hazbin hotel was like a gold in such a messed up, chaotic ruckus of a place. Where people just live accepting that there souls are doomed for suffering, and nothing was going to change that.

You were still trying to steady your breathing, you brought your legs closer wrapping your arms tightly around it, "You could just drop dead, stop... Stop harrassing me. Drop dead. Drop dead." You would whimper.

3 Am no one would give you a second glance, you shakily brought out the rust radio out, you loved the cracky noise, you loved his voice.

You turned on one of his radio shows, he had put some recipes trying to focus on his heavy voice, trying to get yourself to sleep. The dreams would haunt you the moment you turned of the radio.

"Ahh my dear can I come in?" It was Alastor, but what could he want from such a time. He said he was working for some paperwork to run the hotel.

You shakily tried to dress yourself up, pulling the door knob.

"Oh my dear, you haven't slept again. The little radio off yours has been a little disturbing. All though I love it when people admire my work! But you see my dear it's interfering with the latest podcast I must get done by the next day!"

Your face showed tinge of embarrassment but actually hearing his voice right now was especially calming.

"I'm so sorry, now you have to start all over again." You weakly told, you wanted him to stay but you knew he would avoid any physical touch.

"Well my dear since you enjoy my little radio shows here so much what if I take you to my little office hmm?"

Alastor knew you suffered from nightmares, and you had been putting his tapes on repeat at the same time for two weeks.

Once you entered his office, you caught splashes of red, but a little comfortable corner called you over where you quietly sat by, waiting for him to go back to letting his voice out.

It was like Alastor knew, he needed to get you to sleep besides you were tired so hearing him for a few sleepy half an hour or more.

The last thing you felt was a blanket draped and then it was only the sound of typewriter echoing.

[fictionalslvr]

SYNOPSIS:Leon is a rookie cop who needs an instructor for practical classes, you. But you're so damn pretty that he can't control himself.

PAIRING: Rookie cop¡RE2Leon x Instructor¡F¡Reader

WORD COUNT:1.478k

WARNINGS: SMUT/NSFW Sub¡Leon. Male!Masturbation. Virgin!Leon. Whimpering mess!Leon. Pervert!Leon.

NOTES:This was my first work for tumblr, so this might not represent what I'm actually writing like at the moment. In fact, i envolved a lot since this one.

It have the part 2 of this post, check it please!

Leon is a dedicated rookie. Since he arrived, he's always studying and taking notes of everything his boss says. With a notepad and a pen, everything that is said to him (even if it's a lie) he will write down and study about it. He will do a long research every day and tries to get better every time, like he's in a competition, but he's too kind to think he is superior to others, no, he's not that type of guy. One day, his boss was doing a speech, and Leon was writing down what he was saying, his boss would obviously notice and ask him why.

—"Leon Kennedy…are you taking notes of my speech?"

He lifts his head immediately and faces his boss, his coworkers looking at him too.

—"Y-Yes…sir."

The boss would only look at him and chuckle softly, nodding without saying a word more. And how could he not feel proud of this dedicated rookie? He is the most excited to work here, and this is adorable. When he notices the potential of Leon Kennedy, he decides to make him even better, by giving him some new classes that will make him even more experienced.

—"I found someone that will teach you some practical classes. Like how to hold a gun properly, how to defend citizens, how to approach enemies or victims, all of this stuff. You will learn that before the others. Would you like those extra classes, Leon?"

And oh, of course he will accept. He's looking at his boss with his eyes sparkling, and if he had a tail, it would be wagging a lot now.

It's his first day of extra classes, he's the only one in the police station right now, sitting on a chair while waiting for his instructor while his leg goes up and down in full anxiety. He's playing with his own fingers, trying to distract himself for a while. The cracky door suddenly opens and Leon gets up to greet his instructor, who is superior to him.

—"Uhm, hello! I'm Leon Kennedy, nice to meet you."

He offers his hand to a hand shake and looks up to see the person in front of him. It's a pretty woman, who chuckles at his good humor and shakes his hands. She has soft hands and a scent that is as sweet as her smile. Leon had his mouth a little open in surprise, he could almost drool at this wonderful woman.

—"Nice to meet you, Leon." You tell him your name, greeting him back with a soft smile, he's adorable. He can't help but look at every feature of you, looking up and down rapidly and trying to hide that he was staring at you. You're just so beautiful…he can't help himself.

After a while looking at everything about you, Leon finally snaps out and starts to remember why are you here, he needs to focus on the practical class. He's holding a gun while pointing to the shooting dummy, a little goofy while holding it, and he suddenly feels a hot breath against his ear, chuckling while wrapping hands in his to show him how to hold it right.

–"Hold it like this, Leon…" You taught him, your soft voice going inside his brain and making him shiver. He gulps down and as you tell him, your body is very close to his and he's almost sweating.

And this is a torture to Leon now, each friday, it's the day that he does the practical classes. Right now, he's a bit more comfortable around you, but each class he seems more distracted with something. He's indeed distracted, because of you. Using some tight shorts that almost shows your butt, making your legs exposed and your thighs being suffocated in those shorts. Walking around Leon, going close to him and teaching him like that would only drive him crazy.

One day, he was out of his mind, he took a picture with his phone of you, walking through the police station with those slutty shorts and tight clothes. He took the picture without you knowing and kept it for himself, everyday looking at it and biting his lips in desire, that is so wrong…

He shouldn't be doing that, he knows. He's on his bed, panting heavily while his abs shakes softly at the pain. Leon bites his lips, almost making it bleed while trying to hold his obsenic sounds he's doing, he's feeling so guilty for doing this. But how could he hold himself with such a pretty instructor like you? Your voice is framed on his brain while his hands go up and down at his throbbing dick, all red and the tip already leaking pre cum while he jerks off to the picture he took of you.

–"Im sorry…im sososo sorry…." Leon is almost crying, he's been overstimulating himself for a while now, like he's been denying his own orgasm to punish himself for doing this. It's so wrong, he shouldn't be doing this. After this time, his poor cock was in pain, Leon had watery eyes, looking for a release after all this time punishing himself for doing that. He feels like a dirty pervert, and maybe he really is.

–"Nnggh…oh my god…im soooorry…"

Some tears run down his red cheek, all his face is red while he does that, he's embarrassed for his behavior. But his body keeps doing, hands going up and down while he shakes and begs for your sorry, even if you're not listening to it, if you would, you would never look at his face again. Leon is so close, his mind is blurry at this point, his hips cups his own hands in pure desire, he's about to cum after torturing himself, and the release is everything he can think right now. But his phone vibrates before he could cum, not showing your picture on the screen anymore, and Leon just sobs like a child before seeing that is a unknown number calling him, he sighs and take a deep breath before answering the call, his hand static on his dick while his dick hurts for more.

—"I'm sorry for calling so late, Leon. I just want you to know that i can't go tomorrow for our class, so you don't need to stay at the police station. By the way, i got your number from your boss if you're wondering."

Leon became silent for a while on the call, and you can hear him breathing heavily for a while before answering you.

—"O-Oh…it's you. Uhm, it's okay, thanks for letting me know."

He says rapidly, like he's in a rush. Only listening to your voice would be enough for him to cum at this voice call, he has to end it quickly.

—"So, i just called you for that, sorry for bothering, you seem occupied."

He gulps down and stares at his own cock throbbing again while listening to your soft voice. Leon bites his own lips, containing himself. "Quick, end this call" he thinks, but he doesn't want to be rude with you.

–"Yes, yes. I-I…have to go, I'm sorry. Goodbye!" Leon says in a sudden urge, leaving you with a raised eyebrow. He touches the screen to end the call, not even hearing your answer, he can't take this much longer, after all.

His body shivers completely, while he's panting heavily, jerking himself again at a fast pace, very needy of this, he's not even trying to hide his whimpers and moans now, he's calling your name and begging to cum. He's close again, his mind is a little dizzy while he closes his eyes to the desired release, letting himself finally cum after all of this.

Leon is a virgin, so he only masturbates himself sometimes. After he cums, it makes him completely messy, his face all red, his abs dirty in his own cum while he tries to recover. He's trying to recover his breath slowly, recovering his mind too as well, he had never cum a lot like that. And you're the reason for that, you make him feel desperate like that.

–"Leon Kennedy…I heard you."

His eyes go wide as he listens to your voice, searching for you at every inch of his dark room. Just to find his phone, still on that call. Leon was so desperate to cum, that he didn't end up the call like he thought, and you had to listen to this show he made for you. Calling your name while jerking himself like a desperate puppy in heat. He's so embarrassed, he doesn't know what to answer now, he picks his phone on the bed and leans his ear closer to it. You will hate him now, he's sure about this. He's a dirty pervert, and you know that.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Ok so I have a dorky request… I loved your MM fics and especially loved Donnie’s wholesome family one, SO CUTE!! Aww my heart!

Anyway I was wondering if you could do one where the reader has been friends with the family since they were kids like toddlers. And one day at dinner Splinter makes a comment about how they are part of the family and like a sister. The boys get uncomfortable and make gagging noises and the reader is just like ‘??? I thought you liked me?’ And the reason they didn’t like the sister comment is because they have a crush on them? It can be one of them or all of them or separate I don’t care.

Anyway I LOVE YOUR WORK! I have low key been stalking your blog for content…but before anything take care of yourself!! Drink water, eat food, and get rest! Ok love ya, bye!!!

Family Friend (Fluff)

MM!Raphael x reader

A/N: You’re an absolute cutie! Please continue your stalking as much as you want💚😭 I think you would like to know that I had a full breakfast before writing this, and a full glass of water by my side throughout😉 I decided to make this with Raph, because… well, Idk. Guess I’m a little Raph sick this morning lol. Hope you enjoy❤️

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Warnings: Spelling, because my dyslexia has been bucking this morning, a little bit cracky at the end😅❤️

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Splinter never really liked humans. No actually, he had always kind of hated them. Before he mutated he feared them, and after he just generally disliked them. And all four of his sons knew that very well. He had warned them several times, telling them never to get close to the humans that lived above ground, unless they wished to get hurt, or even worse, milked. Splinter used to tell his sons horrible stories about the humans, and how they hated everything that they didn’t understand. Well, that was with one exception; you.

First time you met the turtles and their rat father was by pure accident. Somehow, at the age of four years old, you had managed to get lost in the sewers, crying for your parents, unsure which way to go. Therefore you sat down, bawling your eyes out in the middle of the gross sewers of New York City, believing that this would be the last of you, and that you never would see your parents again. But to your luck, somebody heard you. Somewhere in the sewers, not far away, four turtle brothers heard crying, running to their father screaming about a ghost outside in the sewers.

Splinter, being the caring father that he was, told them he would go out and take a look for them, thinking it was probably nothing but the imagination of his sons. And that’s how Splinter ventured out in the sewer, his four year old sons following closely in his heels, before they found you crying somewhere in the corner.

Splinter’s first reaction was to run, leaving you behind while he tried to bring his sons back home safely. But his sons, being so incredibly slippery and hard to catch, with their big love for humans, had already taken a great liking to you, not leaving your side until Splinter agreed to bring you back to the lair. And that was how you spent the next few hours, safely in the lair, cuddled up with four mutant turtle toddlers, while Splinter tried to locate your family.

After that day, Splinter relaxed, thinking that his family was once again safe and hidden away from the humans. So could you imagine his shock when you stood in the doorway, asking if his sons wanted to come and play with you in the sewer. Even more shocked were he to see his sons already at your side, big puppy eyes as they waited for his permission. Splinter had already lost that battle.

Over the next eleven years, you would become a common occurrence in the brothers’ lives. Whenever you got the chance you would find yourself in the lair, hanging out with the boys that would become your closest friends. Even Splinter started to take a liking to you, even if it took a little longer than it had done with his sons. It went so far that he would invite you down to the sewers for family dinners, holidays and birthday parties, and even bring you gifts on your own birthdays.

You would become one of the few connections the boys had to the outside world, other than their few grocery runs every now and then. When the five of you weren’t playing video games, watching movies or running through the sewers or dark alleyways and rooftops, they would hang over your shoulder, watching as you did your homework, asking you all sorts of questions about human schools.

Raphael however, asked more than the others. How big was your school? Was it just like the schools in the movies you've watched together? And your teachers, were they just as horrible, and did they give you a lot of homework? The content of your homework however, didn’t interest him much. But watching you do them while telling him about your day was what he found interesting. Sitting at the kitchen table, balancing his sai between his finger and table, head resting on his other arm, stealing glances at you when you weren’t looking, deeply invested in whatever subject you were studying. He couldn’t help but hide a smile against his arm, whenever he saw you bite your lip in frustration.

Raphael’s brothers weren’t blind. They had noticed the way he would act whenever you were around, comparing it to how Leonardo would react whenever he saw a girl in a movie; awestruck. He was the first to greet you in the lair, and often the one to ask if you would come down for a visit. Once you would be in the lair, he would hover around you, unconsciously doing anything he could to stay close to you. How you still hadn’t noticed Raphael’s growing crush on you was a wonder to them. The way he would try to hug you longer than any of his brothers, and how he would poke you throughout the movie. His crush was so obvious, he might as well have been screaming it out loud in the lair. And yet you didn’t notice. But that wouldn’t last long.

It was regular Thursday evening, and you had once again been invited down to the lair for dinner with the turtles and their father. It went how it usually did, with Splinter and Michelangelo making dinner, while the three others kept you entertained. I didn’t take much, as you always found yourself having a great time in the lair.

After dinner was made, and the boys reluctantly had set the table, all of you sat down to eat. You talked about school, and that one test you had been nervous about. Splinter listened with a proud smile as you told him how it went. It did not matter to him what grade you got or how far you were in class. What mattered was how brave you had felt, making Splinter feel like a proud parent, remembering the scared little girl he and his sons found in the sewer. And it was with that feeling of proud fatherhood, that Splinter made what was meant to be a friendly comment, to who he now considered a surrogate daughter.

“It makes me happy to know you felt brave today. I think all of us feel so”, Splinter said, gesturing to the smiles on his sons’ faces. “Your growth makes me proud, but not just as a friend. (Y/N), I hope you know that we view you not just as a close friend of the family, but as a part of the family itself, like a daughter and sister”.

You smiled at Splinter, wanting to tell him how much it meant to you, and that you too felt like their family had become like a second home to you. But you couldn’t before laughter erupted from the boys, along with gagging noises, fingers pointing down their throat as they acted as if they were going to throw up. Raph however stared at his food in horror. No way his dad just said that to you!

You looked at the boys in confusion. It wasn’t uncommon for them to tease you, lightly commenting on your human looks or your smell. Nothing you couldn’t take. But that moment was different. Raphael avoided eye contact, head docked low looking displeased at his father. But his brothers looked like they were having the time of their lives, sending teasing smiles Raph’s way, making him cross his arms over his plastron, sulking even further into his chair.

“Hey!”, you said, catching their attention. “Don’t look that sad. I thought you liked me”.

“Oh, we like you, okay”, Donatello said, turning his attention towards Raphael with mischief in his eyes, nudging him with his elbow. “Some more than others”, he sang, wiggling his brows. Raph scowled at his brother, crossing his arms tighter. He now regretted sitting beside you, forcing himself to look away from you, his cheeks burning hot under his mask.

“Maybe you should quit it out, Donnie”, Leo said, a smile still plastered on his face. “You know how he gets when we tease him about that”.

“Shut it”, Raph grumbled, sliding even further down the chair, until he was almost laying on his shell.

“Teasing about what?”, you asked, still not fully understanding what was going on. “What is wrong with your dad saying I’m part of the family?”

The brothers giggled, before Mikey stood, hands cupped around his mouth as he yelled, “Raph has a crush on (Y/N)”.

“That’s it!”, Raph yelled, standing from his chair making his brothers jump in laughter. “Come here you little shits!”

You and Splinter watched as Raph chased his brothers around the lair, telling them to stop as they yelled about everything his crush on you had made him do or say.

“Okay, maybe you’re not like a sister to everyone”, Splinter said with you nodding in agreement, a small smile creeping up on your lips. Family or not, these boys meant everything to you, and you could not imagine a day without them.

[no1deepspacehater]

Caleb x Reader: Little Rascals

Tags: Fluff, making out, kisses!

AN: i hope all 3 caleb nation members enjoy this <3 we need him back LADS devs please I beg

 Caleb placed the plate of popcorn in your lap before taking a seat next to you on the couch. He made himself comfortable by taking a generous helping of the blanket you two were sharing. The living room was dark, save for only the TV light that was currently playing some old-school movie about a group of kids. 

 “Did I miss anything?” Caleb asked, reaching into your lap for a handful of popcorn. 

 “Alfalfa’s on this sweet date with Darla right now, you didn’t miss much.” You nodded, taking a couple bits of popcorn for yourself. 

 “Youuuu are so beautiful, to meeeeeeee” 

 Caleb starts to crack up at the prepubescent, cracky, singing voice. You shush him, elbowing him, attention fully glued to the move. “Shut up! It’s sweet!” you chided.

 Caleb, holding his hurt ribs and another hand covering his snickers. “He sounds like a squeaky toy!” You threaten to elbow him again, and he quiets down a bit more. 

 “Oh, Alfalfa, you’re a sweetie poo!” Darla exclaims as she kisses him, making his hair stand straight up!

 “Am I a sweetie poo, pipsqueak?” Caleb laughs beside you, making kissy faces at you.

 You put a hand on his face to push him away. “Please, that only works for a smooth kid like Alfalfa, and you are not that.” You teasingly throw back at him. 

 “Hey, but I was a smooth kid!” 

 Giving him a side eye, you laugh. “You were not.” 

 Caleb leans back, a grin sneaking on his face as he leans back. “Looks like you’re getting memory problems, old lady.” He puts his finger on his lips in false thought. “I remember someone always asking me to ‘practice kissing’ with them… I think only a ‘smooth’ kid would have offers like that!”

 Face heating up at the memory, you threw popcorn his way to distract him from your red face. Yes, you had the biggest crush on your childhood friend. Well, ‘had’ would be a lie; you still do.

 When grandma wasn’t watching while the both of you played outside, you’d both slip behind a tree and ‘practice kiss’ like in those movies you’d both sneak to watch at night. Eventually, you both were caught and stopped; you’d thought he’d forgotten. 

 “You were the only other boy I knew.” You defended. 

 “We had Zayne.” 

 “Zayne would’ve said no, very quick and efficiently, might I add.” 

 “But you didn’t try to ask him.” 

 You rolled your eyes at his snide smirk. He was winning, and he knew it. “We were kids, anyway!” You tried to kill the topic. Any more of this, and you’ll explode. 

 Caleb puts an elbow on the edge of the couch, turning to you as he rests his head on his hand. “So, was I a good kisser?” 

 “I! Well…” He could obviously see how flustered you were. “It was too long ago! How do you expect me to remember that?” 

 Caleb’s eyes rake you in from up to down. He moves to take the popcorn bowl off of your lap, putting it on the counter. He settles his gaze on you again, this time letting his arm fall behind you on the couch. “We could do another ‘practice’.” 

 You turn your head to his finally, eyes locking with his. You could see he was dead serious with his proposition. His smile not so smirking, his eyes not holding that level of mischief it usually does when he’s teasing you (which is always). 

 “Let’s see how rusty you are then.” You don’t know how you managed such a line when your poor heart was about to beat out of your chest. 

 With proper consent, Caleb shifts forward. One hand lightly cups the side of your jaw as he leans in and connects his lips with yours. He places his lips between yours, lightly applying pressure repeatedly. His hand slides from your jaw to the back of your neck, lightly massaging, sending occasional shivers through you. 

 Your hands find one place on his thigh, lightly gripping the strong muscle for your own sanity. The other placed on his chest, feeling the toned muscles underneath his t-shirt. 

 You pull back slightly after a while. Both of your lips hover over each other as you take a breather. 

 “Not bad.” He whispers against you. He moves to the side of your neck, placing light kisses here and there. You let out a slight gasp as he starts to suck on a susceptible spot. 

 “New technique?” You breathe out, and he stops to laugh. 

 He’s back on your lips now, using his hand to gently open your jaw and slide his own tongue in. The air is filled with light moans and small smacking sounds as you both tongue each other down. 

 Caleb shifts to get on top of you but is stopped when the sounds of a door opening and muffled footsteps come from the hall. 

 You split from each other in seconds, settling on either side of the couch as Grandma walks in. 

 “You’re both still awake.” Grandma laughs as she turns to continue on her way to the bathroom. “Don’t go to sleep too late now!” 

 As she leaves, Caleb lets out a laugh. “Do you think she’d still chew us out if she caught us again?” 

 “I don’t know, but I don’t want to find out!” You laugh as well at the memory. Let’s just say Grandma can pull ears very hard. 

 Caleb looks over the couch down the hall to ensure you both were alone. He then leans over quickly, pressing a quick, final kiss. 

 “We’ll just have to practice some where else next time.” He grabs the popcorn from the table and turns off the TV. “Sleep well, pipsqueak.” 

[honeyhotteok]

Hi, you totally won't be able to suss out who this is.

What's your thoughts on Ryuhei? What's a lil snapshot of him on a... Sunday morning?

hi my completely mysterious beloved anon lol🥰

ah ryuhei that pathetic little meow meow. to be honest with you, truly felt nothing for him and his red flag enabler ass. but maybe you have piqued my interest in him a tiny bit lol here's a very unserious cracky thing for you🫶

summary: having ryuhei as your roommate is simply cursed.

--

"Ryuhei Kuroda, if you don't silence your phone right fucking now, so help me God-"

Another loud ass text notification ding from the bunk bed below you interrupts your sentence.

You groan and stuff your face into your pillow, trying your very best not to scream and go on a murderous rampage.

Sunday morning 7:32am. All you wanted to do was sleep in on your day off. But your pest of a roommate had other plans.

"Ryuhei, put your phone on silent! Please," you beg.

The blonde pouts. "I can't. What if Mitsuki texts me back?"

“And what if I win the fucking lottery tonight,” you deadpan.

The loud ass sounds of his phone keyboard tapping away fill the room as he ignores you.

“That’s it.”

You leap down from the top bunk. You snatch Ryuhei’s phone out of his hands and march over to to the window before hurling the phone out into the street.

The phone flies and lands in the tree across the street from your 3rd story room. It slowly slips down a tree branch. It then lands on the concrete of the sidewalk with a crack and thud.

“Hey!” The angry blonde springs up.

You glare back at him but before the string of angry words leaves Ryuhei’s mouth, he stops in his tracks, finally taking you in.

Your perfectly messy bed head hair. Your strong toned arms that were strong enough to chuck his phone to that distance.

The temper and glare flaring behind your bleary eyes that is so similar to Mitsuki’s and yet so different at the same time - less icy and more fiery.

You furrow your brows at your roommate, wondering why he’s just standing there looking at you so weird.

Then you realize it’s the same look that’s written all over his face when he’s waiting by his phone, when he’s looking at her.

Ah, shit.