#a lot longer than I expected it would

[jounosparticles]

reply to the tags of your reply to my previous ask: PLEASE RANT TO ME ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!! i want to hear. they rot my brain too and im glad that i found someone who's also suffering the suegiku takeover

OKAYOKAY YAY!!!!! this will be fun >:)

a huge suegiku analysis:

okay in the last ask you mentioned how tetchou stabs jouno for fun and sillies and stuff which happened to make me think a lot about how tetchou acts decently different around jouno than others.

tetchou is typically rather formal in the way he acts in a way? as in he's very straightforward, generally composed and calm in his words, and polite to anyone he's dealing with.

an example of this is when he still treated the cafe owner kindly despite him being an "accessory to terrorism" in jouno's words.

basically, in most situations, he remains very composed. even when he's up to his sillier antics (like when he was watching ants or doing pushups during a meeting). he's direct and straight-faced almost always around most people. he doesn't act that way to be seen as silly, it's just who he is (and i love it).

i would imagine he could act this way for many reasons. it is most likely him being professional, likely as a reference to the irl tetchou who had samurai lineage; making him act with the tone and professionalism of samurai.

despite his professionalism, maybe he has difficulty being expressive around most people, or maybe he doesn't want to be expressive around people by choice.

but this is where he's different around jouno.

firstly, i'll talk about the times he's stabbed jouno. this has happened twice, and both were to de-escalate jouno from his tendancy to mentally torment people.

the wording in these panels implies this is a regular occurrence. which is a little funny to me hehe.

anyway, we see by the way that he acts around others that usually he de-escalates situations by talking first instead of acting. he will turn to violence if he believes it's needed, but typically he talks first. we see this when he confronts kenji verbally before attacking.

yet with jouno he doesn't bother to tell him to stop first, instead opting to jab him. remembering that the hunting dogs have enhanced physical strength, a small stab wound probably isn't a huge deal for them.

because of this i think the stabbings are tetchou partially teasing jouno. him messing around like that isn't something he does with anybody else but he seems to enjoy pissing off his partner.

also. stabbing him directly in the ass? gay as hell. jouno following up by saying "don't poke my ass every single time" implies that his ass specially gets jabbed a lot. hmmmm

anyways

another example of this is when tetchou smirks/chuckles at jouno insisting that he's the greatest hunting dog. the small laugh was most definitely to bother jouno.

mmmm theyre both so pretty.

once again, tetchou pushes aside his composed self and being intentionally silly only really happens towards jouno.

arguably, this can be shown again in the pushups scene.

tetchou acting unbothered and then calling jouno's weight "just right" while he continues to exercise seems like a combination of him trying to (jokingly) annoy jouno as well as his tendency to not acknowledge his own actions as bothersome or odd to others.

anyway to sum up this segment: tetchou is only seen intentionally bothering and teasing jouno and nobody else. he acts much differently towards others but seems to let his professional guard down around only his partner. this shows a great layer of trust and comfort between the two!

oh. but im not done talking about this. not at all.

the other huge display of emotions for tetchou was everything that went down with kenji.

as displayed throughout most of tetchou's appearances, he's incredibly justice-orientated. he has a tendancy to put justice above everything. here's a couple panels showing this:

ooog tetchou is so pretty. i love that left panel so much

using his own logic here, he should have went after bram after having found him. tetchou even admitted that, but there was one other thing more important to him than that. jouno.

starting here, this panel takes place after bram and aya escape. at this point, tetchou had assumed the agency was using bram to control people; meaning it wasn't just kenji he technically had business with at that time.

i will also preface this by saying the book's influence likely had an impact on tetchou attacking kenji before they could finish talking.

however, the book's writing didn't stop tetchou from insisting on finding jouno before taking down the agency. his worry towards jouno's whereabouts made him change his stance on justice as well as deterred him from prioritizing taking down the agency.

now that he's talking to kenji, i'd like to start it by showing that he seemed genuinely grateful and happy when kenji initially offered to help him find jouno.

as well in the anime, his eyes soften when kenji offers to help.

after talking to kenji for a brief moment, he opts to attack instead of continuing. this seems out of character for tetchou; he even apologized to kenji before saying he needs to find jouno as quickly as possible.

the fact that he apologized, combined with how we've seen him treat people in the past shows that this isn't typically what he resorts to.

also, in the anime we can see the gloss his eyes slightly shaking as he says this line, which could display worry, sadness, or anger towards whatever could be happening to his partner.

he seems almost distraught, which is a huge contrast to his typically-composed self.

and, of course; there's the fact that mid-fight tetchou had to tell kenji that jouno is a good person despite what people think.

he looks genuinely sad here, as if he's speaking from his heart. jouno has very-clearly put up a tough exterior that he uses around everyone, but tetchou goes out of his way to defend him even when he absolutely doesn't need to.

he could have stayed silent or just said he wants his coworker back, but he insisted on stating that jouno is a good person.

it's also important to note that nobody else tends to speak kindly of jouno, which puts a lot more depth on their closeness to each other. tetchou sees through jouno's words and actions and knows that he is heavily misunderstood.

and of course, we have tetchou directly saying that he will place jouno above justice despite knowing what the right course of action should have been.

he is putting jouno above the very thing he basis his career as well as his morality on. that's how worried he is. that's how much he cares.

and in this panel, we see he's extremely angry towards kenji's lack of response.

lets compare this to the first time tetchou fought the agency.

in chapter 61, when he was fighting the agency alongside jouno; he kept a more menacing/intimidating look as he attacked. when he was not attacking, he kept calm-looking despite being pissed off. compared to when he was fighting kenji in chapter 100 and looked infuriated. even the different fonts used for the dialogue puts further emphasis on this.

now, i'm going to jump ahead to the end of tetchou and kenji's fight. tetchou recognizes his mistake and asks kenji to kill him.

it's important to note that his reasoning as to why he should have chased justice was because he doesn't think jouno would have condoned his choice.

he specified it again, even opting to call jouno his friend. also note how white his eyes are here, meaning his intent was pure and he genuinely felt awful for misjudging what jouno would have wanted. he cares so much that he was asking to be killed for misunderstanding what was the correct course of action.

and then after kenji insists on helping him find jouno instead, he smiles in relief before the two pass out.

one last small note is that we've only ever seen tetchou smile three times throughout the manga so far, and all of them were mentioned here and involved jouno.

to sum it all up: tetchou, who is typically very composed and justice-orientated, is willing to throw aside his entire stance on justice for jouno. he lets his professional guard down around his friend, allowing them to tease each other and be silly as well, which he doesn't appear to do around others often. this shows that the two have a close bond and genuinely care so much about each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as for jouno, i don't have as much to say however there definitely is a few things i'd like to touch on.

firstly, despite claiming to hate tetchou a lot, jouno still uses a respectful honourific (-san) whenever he refers to him. i'm not a japanese speaker so please feel free to correct me if i'm wrong but there's a good chance jouno would opt to not use an honorific at all if he genuinely detested tetchou as much as he claims.

and when it comes to teasing, jouno does it much more often than tetchou does (however he also messes with more people, it's just a personality difference between the two).

clearly with the way they act around each other, jouno does not actually hate tetchou. i think they like to bother each other by play-bullying.

also, noting on jouno's criminal past, he was given an easy oppurtunity to be thrown into the DoA where he could be incredibly powerful and would likely not face any consequences for his actions had he joined.

we know he declined fukuchi's offer because he found joy in saving innocent people. but i would the influence of the other hunting dogs helped set him into that place of mind. tetchou seems to be the one he works with most, so there's a good chance he takes a lot of inspiration from how tetchou handles justice.

another thing i noticed with jouno is that his displaying of emotions is almost an inverse of how tetchou acts. jouno keeps smiling a lot despite who he's speaking to. in contrast, he can keep a straight face when interacting with tetchou a lot.

of course, that could make it seem as if jouno is unhappy around tetchou, but i would argue it's the opposite.

some people will force a happy expression to appear unassuming or kind (or in a lot of jouno's cases, intimidating). so him allowing himself to maintain a straight face around tetchou could mean that he is comfortable enough around him to not feel the need to express everything. he doesn't need to keep his guard up around tetchou.

jouno almost always keeps a very happy or calm composure around enemies, likely as an intimidation factor. yet he allows himself to express frustration and annoyance around the hunting dogs in general, and most often with tetchou. i'd like to imagine this just shows his security in his partner.

jouno talking to an enemy, for reference ^ i also just really love this page hehe

the last thing i'll mention here is a lot of speculation on my behalf. however i think that jouno seems like the type to push away those close to him. i kind of perceived his supposed hatred towards tetchou to be a combination of joking around as well as possibly a defense mechanism to try and avoid keeping people close?

my main reason in stating that is that he's claimed to not like any of his coworkers yet still opts to not betray them and still works well with them. if he truly hated tetchou, he probably wouldn't allow them to work together. he likely says such things to avoid being liked too much, and these actions proved to work since tetchou acknowledged that everyone sees jouno as cold.

yet through all that tetchou still knew he was good despite the exterior, which makes them well-suited for each other.

anyways: i feel like these two really do treat each other much differently than they treat the other people around them. that puts a lot of emphasis on their bond and closeness in general. they can be silly around each other, they can get through arguments no problem, they make a great team, and clearly care about each other a ton! they mean so much to me <3

i love my sillies :)

[asaka-lucy-dr-rc]

ゲーム本編では見れないけどデジタルアートブックに載ってるレインコート無しのハララの衣装が好き。

Although we can't see it in the game, I like Halara's outfit without the raincoat. (You can see it in the digital art book.)

おまけ/BONUS

Lines: Yakou: Hey, Halara... I know I said you could use it, but don't you think it's about time to give back the seat to your chief?

Halara: I don't think so.

Yakou: Ah... I see...

[elodee]

HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 19

CuteGuy and HotGuy x Batman Beyond

For the Alternate Hermits day, I drew CuteGuy and HotGuy in the style of Batman Beyond!

I really wanted to include one of the many superhero cartoons I like in this challenge and Alt Day provided the perfect opportunity since Grian and Scar's personas include superhero characters!

To learn more about Batman Beyond and see my style references, continue below the cut.

(You can be a hero too by donating to Gamer's Outreach!)

Batman Beyond is a Batman cartoon that takes place in 2039, 20 years after Bruce Wayne, now in his 70s, has retired as Batman.

For two decades Gotham was without a Batman until a teen named Terry McGinnis stumbles onto Wayne Manor in an attempt to escape a gang called the Jokerz. After Terry discovers the Batcave, he takes on the mantle of Batman and begins his crime-fighting career under the tutelage of Bruce himself.

Batman Beyond is one of the best Batman series (next to Batman: The Animated Series of course). Terry is a fantastic protagonist and the relationship between Terry and Bruce really drives the show, in addition to its great visuals. With its angular designs and neo-noir setting, I would argue this is the most visually striking of the classic DC cartoons.

If you like Batman, definitely give Batman Beyond a watch!

Style references:

The show is very angular. The whole show has a very art deco meets Tron aesthetic.

This poster was my reference for the background, but I rendered CuteGuy and HotGuy in the style of the show itself.

Batman Beyond title design

[pickastitch]

please tell us your shinyduo thoughts abt sun moon symbolism :0

okay so it all starts in esmp s1 where pearl has such heavy sun imagery and gem literally builds a moon so that one is pretty obvious

and when we get to hc s8 they literally have matching horses with gem's being named sun and pearl's being named moon

admittedly, hc s9 is more vibes based, but eleven seem so much more sunny to me in contrast to pearl's alien themeing where a large majority of it was trapped underground. most people just associate moon with darkness, so bam gem is sun and pearl is moon

now esmp s2 and this one is tricker than the others. in my head they are both the sun which is why they practically never interact. it's like trying to connect magnets by both of their north poles

sl is an outlier to me where they break this pattern of one being the moon and one being the sun imo. some people believe that pearl is the sun and gem is a sunflower, but i like to think pearl is simultaneously the sun and the moon with gem being akin to icarus. here is a very non structured brainrot post

we finally get to hc s10, and immediately we are hit with 'morning sunshine' from gem. she wants me dead. but also, building off of that pearl went for a very peaceful farmhouse as her starter base with farming normally being associated with daylight/the sun. we have a dredge theme from gem which has a daylight cycle in it, and during the night is really when you start getting the horrors. she already has touches of that (floating fish), so following the logic of that game she has been fishing at night and thus moon

the part that gets me the most is how consistent the themeing is and just how close both of them are. most smps have pretty good evidence for gem and pearl being connected to the sun and moon with a few outliers (looking at you nlsmp)

now time for the actual theorizing, like i mentioned in the esmp s2 bit, it's almost like the sun and moon are opposite poles of a magnet. i don't believe they are soulmates, they can live without the other, but when they are in proximity, you bet that they will be inseparable

so they both have been represented by the sun and moon, and i propose that pearl is the embodiment of light, while gem is the embodiment of void. why do i think that? well, pearl's is the easiest to explain with her saint pearla stuff and how her named both have aspects of light in it. pearlescent describes the surface of an object, and both being able to see if something is pearlescent and to see the moon requires light to bounce back into your eyes

now gem as the void, hear me out. her constant connection to the end/endermen/ender dragon. also the connections of gem and traveling across worlds where the thing in-between them is void (see s9 botem ending). with the most solid piece of evidence being hc s10 where her themeing is ocean/water horrors. and the most common reason people fear the ocean is how vast and unknowing it is. like a void

this is great and all, but how does it link back up with sun and moon? they are opposites of each other and their sun and moon themeing is just one way that is expressed alongside light and void. because of how different they are, it makes them more attached to each other. something something opposites attract

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.

[stergeon]

> OTHER: Contrive some sort of SCHEME.

Oh, yes, this is very exciting. You love a good SCHEME, and it is marvelous to get to concoct one so early in the day. This bodes very well for how the rest of your day will progress.

Now it is time to play your favorite game:

“What could possibly happen?”

This is a very fun game where you attempt to devise every single possible series of events that could occur in the course of enacting your SCHEME. You play all of these scenarios out to their logical end and then some in order to guarantee that your plan goes flawlessly and that you have accounted for any potential risks. As you know, you are very good at thinking, and knowing things keeps your heartbeat regular and makes you not nauseous, so this game is one of your favorite activities.

You open up your JOURNAL and begin to take notes on your SCHEME. Since you are pressed for time, you do not delve as deeply into the potential scenarios as you usually would; although this unnerves you, you believe you have drafted sufficient options as to determine several effective courses of action. You wager you can exploit FERDINAND'S weaknesses for TEA and PHYSICAL AFFECTION to make him see reason and agree to attend BREAKFAST with you, ensuring he vacates your QUARTERS in a timely manner.

#008 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS

[aroaceleovaldez]

I really like the idea that for the first few months of them hanging out post-HoO, Will had no idea Nico had stayed at CHB before. He was under the impression that Nico was more or less new to camp, since he had been a rogue demigod, and that he had just been an ally of CHB up until that point who had been to the camp but had never been a camper. The entire time Will just assumed he was the senior camper between the two of them, not knowing Nico had actually joined camp almost a whole two years prior to him and was instead returning.

Nico eventually realizes Will’s misconception and tries to explain it, but Will thinks Nico is messing with him until Nico explains the crack in the dining pavilion (which no one at camp besides Percy knows the origins of, save for maybe Annabeth, Grover, and Chiron) was from him the night he ran away (and maybe also shows Will his camp beads to further prove he’s not making it up, depending on if you believe he has one from BoTL or not). Will then gets to have the fun little journey of recontextualizing everything he knows about Nico.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite mulder moments from s1

that time he was straight up reading a porn magazine in his office because it mentioned some alien stuff and he needed to Research (a million bonus points for scully's reaction)

when in episode 6, he knocked at a suspect's door, asked if they could come in, and then barged in without waiting for an answer (it was at this moment i knew i was gonna be down bad for this man)

giving a random guy off the street his hotel key in episode 5 so he can do a stakeout from the road, which leads him to getting arrested

every single time he guides scully into the room with a hand on her back... i could not even begin to list all of these times because it's at LEAST once an episode

when he gets ripped apart by the jersey devil but still speaks about how beautiful she is and tries to protect her

(and when he tries to protect the alien hybrid guy in the s1 finale as well, but both times he fails to do so)

when he runs into his old friend in episode 16 and greets him by singing his name

seeing him beg on his knees in a church, praying for his sister's return

"scully! it's potato" <- god tier. to me.

bringing a picture of his sister to the hotel on their trip to tennessee in episode 18

when he knelt down and opened the dead guy's mouth in episode 19 knowing there would be fangs in there and then did not elaborate

when he clarifies that he isn't lying, but "willfully participating in a campaign of misinformation"

"only one man's successfully faked his death... (in a god-awful southern drawl) elvis" proclaimed in such a matter-of-fact tone

when he finds his alien-obsessed stalker having a seizure in episode 10 and carefully tucks him back into bed

(and then we see he took alien guy’s hat as a souvenir, which he leaves hanging in his office, after he passed away. no it’s fine i’m fine!!!)

when he remembers the agent he lost during his first case in episode 16, storms out of the building in grief, and goes to watch the dead agent's son play football

when he gets very angry at deep throat for being willing to conduct some corrupt bargaining with the government (despite. y'know. all the other horrible things the FBI has done. his morals were outraged here)

when he finally takes the shot at the guy who vowed to kill him (big character development here! who cheered! while also mourning the damage to his optimism!)

and in a similar vein, when he faced his fear of fire in episode 12 to go rescue the kids in the burning building <3

when he and scully arrive in tennessee to do some alien sleuthing and he busts out a ton of little gadgets

every single time this insufferable man fell asleep on his couch

him ripping his entire apartment apart at around 3 am on a mission to find tracking devices

that time he just really wanted to go see the liberty bell at the end of episode 6

the guilt in his voice when he sees scully in a hospital bed at the end of episode 20, and he says "i told her it was going to be a nice trip to the forest" ... pain.

when he defends openly proclaiming eugene tooms to be a lizard monster in court, no matter how wild it makes him look, because “I don’t care how it sounds as long as it’s the truth” (ah truth motif, my beloved)

also, jumpscaring tooms with the tale of his lost elkhound with whom he hunts moose

[whelmed-justwhelmed]

Thoughts about Vincent Valentine and some of his struggles

Some miscellaneous notes before the actual substance of this post.

Loosely inspired by / based on this post, might suggest reading it before my own for a better understanding of the perspectives of the ideas in this post, though not strictly necessary as I think it’s still comprehensible without doing so. This post was made to my understanding + my current interpretation + what I can remember of things at the moment. Anyways here’s my maybe somewhat rambling thoughts, this is what I’ve got thus far. ( @sephirthoughts ask and you shall receive.)

After seeing and being inspired by the previously mentioned post I got to thinking about what I felt to be an interesting character development opportunity for Vincent. The basic premise being how Vincent’s situation, mostly in relation to himself and some of the things that have happened to him in the past, could potentially improve if he could at least start to reconcile his views of things compared to the objective realities. I feel like a step like this could help him to have a healthier perspective and at least somewhat improve his general quality of life.

Now it’s known how feelings such as guilt and regret among other such ones weigh heavily on him, of which a significant amount stem from his time as a bodyguard for the scientists of shinra manor. Although I do acknowledge these things aren’t the only ones that weigh on him and that my proposal of reconciliation is not the only thing that could be done to help his situation, much of his suffering specifically does seem to directly or indirectly stem from that time, his perspective of it, and of how it all relates to him. So with that perspective in mind, I think it’s a good place to start (at least for this hypothetical Vincent character development scenario).

Vincent is the sort where I want to (respectfully) gently grab him by the shoulders and shake a bit going, “It’s not your fault, it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t your responsibility, you did about as much as you could for the situation, It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault.” Sadly though it seems (at least to me I feel) he’s generally not at a point where such a message would really get through to him in any meaningful or lasting way, so then that led me to wonder, what sorts of things might get him to that point? And what would the process look like?

I feel like he would probably need some sort of external prompting to actually properly start the process and that said process would be a gradual one. Not entirety sure how the prompting would start and be sustained though. Perhaps for example as something to start with, something like the moment in the lament of the damned side quest in rebirth where there’s brief vague discussion of the manor scientists and Barrett expresses how he thinks Lucrecia must not have been all that much better than Hojo causing Vincent to get defensive about her. A gradual process of stuff that challenges him like others questioning things and being faced with tangible evidence of the past, something that challenges him and he actually starts to stop and more seriously consider that perspective.

Here’s where the basic premise as previously mentioned really comes in. I feel Vincent’s situation could potentially improve if he could start to reconcile his perspective and feelings regarding what happened then and the objective reality of it. Challenges and consideration could lead to some acknowledgment that those two perspectives can coexist with each other, that he doesn’t have to choose one over the other.

In regards to Lucrecia, while not always exactly the most pleasant way to think of her, he can still feel fondly towards her and her memory while also thinking a bit more critically about how her actions and the choices she’s made have had serious and more often than not harmful consequences, especially about the harm done to him directly or indirectly. He could still care about her, albeit a likely less idealized version of her, and hold her a bit more accountable for the harm she’s caused. In regards to Vincent himself, it could significantly improve his overall view of himself and perhaps by extension general quality of life. Potential benefits being things like generally improving his mental state, the more specific parts of that could be things like better self worth, less self loathing, at least a bit of self forgiveness, generally starting to be able to take some of the blame off of himself. As such it could help him start to recognize he’s largely not responsible or at fault for what happened (and that he was a victim of the circumstances at that point more than anything?). It could help facilitate him being able to cope with it all a bit better, perhaps even heal the mental / emotional wounds a bit.

All that said, I highly doubt all this would be easy for him to do, I think he’s going to have to struggle for it. Like I’ve said, I think it would be a slow and gradual process that challenges him to think more critically and change his perspective to eventually at least start to understand that he’s not the one in the wrong, such a process would take time and effort. It would also involve a lot of difficult emotions, what emotions, in what context, and how they come up, I don’t really have as much of an answer for at the moment as I feel it depends on how one would imagine the reconciliation process and things as a whole would play out. I’m not necessarily saying I want to see him break down or something like that per se, but I would like for him to have proper opportunities to be more openly emotional about it all. For him to have chances to be vulnerable and be treated with care in return. (And if that means having him break down then by all means let him break down.)

I do want to say that I don’t expect such a process to solve everything with him or that I would expect him to stop being upset about all that’s happened or otherwise take away what makes his story his (etc.), just that ultimately the idea is all about getting him to a point of having a bit more of a balance of his feelings and viewpoint. Bittersweet, but hopeful.

Hypothetically, if I were to try and place the idea where I think it could work well game timeline wise, I would place it around Dirge of Cerberus and / or post Dirge. I think it would go well then for the subject matter being covered, could work well thematically, and for potential opportunities for him to actually have the time and space to think and process (etc.). (Admittedly I think that putting it sometime around DoC is the obvious answer and that it could work at other points in time as well if it was done thoughtfully.)

I think that’s about all I have on this right now.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Every bookbinding tutorial i found online: "DO NOT TRY THE COPTIC STITCH AS A BEGINNER ITS TOO ADVANCED"

Me who has only bound one book before and used a completely different method: "ehh it can't be that hard"

2 hours later

.....I was right. Its not that hard.

[victorluvsalice]

And Now, The Dynamics Of The Valicer Trio In Gif Form

Alice and Smiler:

Smiler and Victor:

Alice and Victor:

Alice, Victor, and Smiler:

[lloydfrontera]

What is your opinion on og!Lloyd? i don't know if you ever did a character analysis of him and i vaguely know the novel talks about him in some moment. I'm just curious of what you think of him

*sigh* i,,, don't,, love him,,, to be honest 😅

just... a warning. do skip this one if you like og!lloyd. cause i'm not gonna be very nice to him akjshdka

i have very little patience for characters who are mean for no reason and have no other qualities to redeem them. which is what og!lloyd is.

Lloyd Frontera, the hooligan, was a mess. His personality. Behavior. Attitude. Not a single attribute of his was worthy of praise. He destroyed himself and those around him, slacking off and behaving recklessly at any given chance. He was always preoccupied with his thoughts about the Frontera fiefdom, a boring and hideous province. He pitied his fate of being born and rotting away in such a place. And so, he was always angry. He was enraged by the lack of his family's status and his unfulfilled greed. The anger, disappointment and frustration inside the young master were taken out on everyone around him. He hurled insults at maids and physically assaulted servants. He mistreated his parents and the rest of the family. -Chapter 236

like. man a piece of shit lmao. he was born in such a favorable position considering the setting he lived in, he was a noble, he had parents that loved and supported him, he was healthy and able bodied, he had so many opportunities of making something for himself. and he didn't.

"[...] You said I will really pull myself together and study hard this time. So please believe me and make an investment. I was happy. That was why I readily gave you the money that came from selling the villa for the academy tuition. But you completely wasted every single cent with the scoundrels you used to get along with. All the while, you shamelessly played around with women and threw grimy parties in drunken stupor" -Chapter 7

it clearly wasn't that he didn't have chances to be better. he had plenty of them. imagine having a dad that loves you so much that even after years of being an arrogant, rude, violent piece of crap still has the hope that you'll get better and gives you the resources that you need to achieve that. and then you waste them in drinking and messing around. like. god.

now let's talk about julian. his younger brother.

my god.

if anyone had any right to never ever forgive or trust lloyd again in his entire life it was julian.

"[...] Each day, he threw his drunken tantrum at all people. Breaking stuff in the house was commonplace. Sometimes, he hit people and Julian wasn't an exception. Arguably, Lloyd whacked Julian the most. When Julian was young, Lloyd beat him for not doing his errands. When Julian grew older, Lloyd beat him for hovering around when he was drinking. His violence grew worse to the point that Lloyd whacked, punched, and kicked Julian for always living an upright life." -Chapter 85

Three years ago, Julian prepared to leave the Frontera fiefdom to enroll in the academy and wanted to greet his brother before leaving. After all, he was still his brother despite how much Julian hated him. But the moment he opened the door, the pungent and acrid smell of alcohol assaulted hi nose, and then came a shout, yelling at him to get out since he's sleeping. Then, a bottle of alcohol was tossed in the air and hit the wall right beside Julian's face. The smell of liquor, the rough yelling and the shattered bottle. That marked his last interaction with Lloyd three years ago before Julian left for school. Julian stroked the corner of his left eyes by habit with his hand. There was a small scar on his skin, a burrow that looked like a mole. He had gotten it that very day three years ago from the shards of the glass bottle Lloyd threw. -Chapter 89

like. let's be clear here. lloyd isn't a child. he's not even an adolescent or a teenager. he's a grown ass man. he was 25 at the start of the novel. he's 5 years older than julian. the narration tells us that lloyd physically abused julian when he was young and then as he grew older. but julian left his home when he was 18. there was no point in their relationship where julian wasn't a minor being physically and verbally harassed by his five years older brother.

the text tells us lloyd physically assaulted the servents and it also tells us that arguably the person he hit the most was julian so. we can draw conclusions on how bad the abuse got.

so... all of that it's kind of what makes me feel so uncharitable towards og!lloyd.

he was such a,,, a shitty person. he had everything going for him and instead of making the most of it he decided it wasn't enough and grew bitter and angry that he didn't have more and decided to take it out on everyone around him. people who loved him, who worked for him, who would one day depend on him, people who simply didn't deserve the way he treated them.

and for what? because he thought his family wasn't prominent enough? cause he lived in a quiet and boring place? cause he didn't have more status? he was a noble for god sake, he was born in an aristocratic family, he wouldn't have to work a single day of his life if he so wanted! he could've gone to the capital city and studied hard like his brother and made something of himself if he wanted more prominence! he could've traveled and seen other places if he didn't want to be stuck in a small barony!

but he didn't want to work hard. he wanted everything to be handed to him from birth and not move a single finger to get what he wished for.

and y'know me, i love shitty characters, i love pathetic men, i love absolute bastards who want and take and hoard but the one thing i can't stand is spoiled, lazy and entitled brats who not only refuse to work for what they want but also dare to blame and hurt others for what they lack.

add to it that he was abusive ass to his little brother and employees and you have the perfect mix for a character that i would fight in a dennys parking lot at 3 am lmao

he eventually does come to regret the way he acted, but to me it's too little too late y'know? the damage was done and he had no way to fix it. and the thing is if he hadn't been forced out of his body and made to watch as someone else took over his life he never would've changed. he would've go on to die as the same rude, violent and incompetent person he lived as.

but, for the sake of being fair, i will acknowledge that he did come to genuinely regret his actions. to realize that he had no excuse. and it is genuinely sad to see him come to terms with the fact that the person who replaced him was a better son, a better brother, a better heir and better person than he ever was. that there was a reason his parents worried and cared for the person walking around in his body now. that the person who took over his body changed completely the reputation he'd made for himself by being a hooligan.

and he did ask after his parents before going into the reincarnation gate so i guess he did care for them even if he didn't show it when he was alive. also him not asking after julian because he knows his brother is smart and he's sure he's fine on his own is kinda sweet (even if i don't think it's nearly enough to make up for all the years of abuse lol)

speaking of the reincarnation gate! at first i thought og!lloyd being reborn as suho would make me like him more but?? actually it did the contrary??? it was so weird!! i thought my feelings of "💜💖💕💞<333💗💖<<3💞💜💕💜<33" for lloyd would bleed through and soften me up to og!lloyd but nope! kinda made me even more mad at him asjkhdka because like,,, it just kinda showed that he never had any reason to act like that?? and i already knew that but making a direct comparison to lloyd in canon just made it all the more clear.

suho had so many reasons to become a terrible person. he had so many reasons to stop caring for other people and become a total asshole. to stop trying so hard and give up and just take up the vice of his choice to drown out his bitterness. and he never did. he never stopped trying, he never stopped caring, he never could bring himself to not love the people around him.

and you could argue that this is because of og!lloyds resolution to be a better person in his next life but i think that ascribing everything that suho did to that would be a disservice to suho's character. he has none of og!lloyd's memories, he has no idea that was his past life, he's his own person, formed by his own experiences and feelings and environment and to act like all he is and does is because of the regrets of his previous life is taking away the strength it took for him to take all of his pain and hurt and tragedy and decide that he wanted something better, both for himself and for his new family.

so does og!lloyd's resolution for his next play a part on suho's character? yeah, almost definitely. but i don't think it's all there is to it and it certainly does not make up for all the hurt he caused in his own life.

i'm a nurture over nature kind of person, so i tend to think of suho and og!lloyd as different characters despite the whole reincarnation thing. i fully believe it is our experiences and decisions who make us, well, us, who we are as persons, so suho having his own memories and not remembering life as og!lloyd is enough to make him his own person, shared soul or not. but ymmv and all that

so... yeah aksdjka

[obstinatecondolement]

Not to be all "this is an Only Murders in the Building blog now" but apparently since yesterday I have reached a point of no longer being satisfied with being part of a two-person fandom irl with my sister and I need to Discuss things with you all.

Anyway. Currently thinking about how Theo Dimas is a) Greek and b) Deaf—both cultures that are very physically demonstrative—and that he is. Like that.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

6k in and my head is about to explode. STILL not allowed to say what i want :(

[queenerdloser]

saw dune 2 and it was fantastic. my no-spoiler review is they really went nuts making the harkonnen as creepy and gross as they possible could and i respect them for that. also. Big Worm.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

While 'Renan is off finding the holy grail, slaying one and a half high dragons, burning the rotting corpse of the crucified king, and having a personal crisis, Noya is also having A Great Time in the Deep Roads! :) Including but not limited to fun activities such as: nug wrangling, being trapped miles under the earth for weeks on end, finding and killing two paragons, and encountering horrors beyond her imagination that will fuel nightmares for the rest of her life! <3