#a lot of people will try it and quickly get discouraged because they aren’t happy with the art they’re producing which is totally fine

[patyutalksabouttheworld]

I started using the AWorld app at the start of February this year, but I stopped logging my actions about two weeks later because the encouraged actions on the app quickly became a habit. I found myself doing sustainable actions even without opening the app during the day. However, in the short time that I was logging my actions diligently, I’m happy to share that my recorded impact is saving 3kg of CO2 and 66L of water. I did this by consistently:

doing my laundry at a lower temperature

turning off my camera when not needed

listening to music offline

using a shampoo bar (I bought it from this local brand called MAGWAI)

bringing my own water bottle

turning off the tap when brushing my teeth

turning off the lights when I leave the room

reducing my cooling (I only turn the aircon on when I’m about to go to sleep)

cutting my food waste (I’ve started cooking broccoli stalks!)

driving less (I now take the LRT or jeep whenever I can)

I found it pretty easy to commit to these initiatives because they’re small changes that don’t really affect the cadence of my daily life. It doesn’t cost me anything major to do these things, so these quickly became part of my routine. After taking a sustainability course, I want to try making more drastic changes to my lifestyle that will help me reduce my carbon footprint even more, such as:

trying zero-waste fashion

eating plant-based meals

air-drying my laundry (I currently use a dryer, which must be horrible for the environment because it consumes a lot of energy)

bringing my own bag to the supermarket

The sustainability course has made me realize that small steps, when executed consistently across time, make a considerable difference. I will carry this learning on to when I eventually start a business – I will be on the lookout for ways that I can lessen harmful environmental impact, even if to others, these initiatives may seem like a waste of time because of how minute the impact is from a short-term point of view.

I think the hardest thing about implementing sustainability strategies is that it’s hard to stay motivated when you aren’t able to see the results of your effort right away. For example, even if I start using shampoo bars, I’m disconnected from the results of this action because I still see on the news that the Philippines is one of the biggest contributors to plastic waste worldwide. It can be discouraging to continue being the good guy when there’s no tangible evidence that your hard work is getting you anywhere. I think this is the biggest challenge when implementing sustainability strategies. That’s why there’s a strong need to objectively measure results -- so that people will want to continue their journey toward sustainability.

[keekity]

Hi, just popping in to share these doodles I’ve been doing lately when I need to quiet my mind :)

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Five)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 12.1k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?) sad oc, mentions of sex, kind of over the clothes action, drama, heated dance session lol, slight memory of sex, hair pulling, back scratching, mention of boner, second chances (?)

Notes: Okay, first of all THAT 1st TEASER PIC!!! DID WE SEE THAT? *chefs kiss*. Anyway thanks for comments you guys leave I really love reading them!!! Remember to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) have a great week everyone!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May

Gloomy: The dictionary may describe it as hopeless and despairing but really it should just be a picture of your sad, sad face.

1 month…yes, one whole month has passed since you last spoke to Jungkook. No text, no calls, no random show ups, nothing. Gloom. Gloom. Gloom. Graduation came and gone so quickly…you walked the stage with your friends minus two but honestly you can hardly remember the event. You tried your hardest to be as excited as everyone else but the feeling of gloom stayed with you.

By the end of the month you finally started accepting he isn’t coming back and right around that time you actually heard from him—Jungkook that is. He sent you a pathetic text that he’s moving out and will be by to retrieve his things. More gloom.

The next couple weeks after that are a blur, you recall the sound of movers throughout your apartment. You didn’t have the courage to speak to him…you didn’t have the courage to even leave your room if you didn’t have to. You were so wrapped up in everything you didn’t even consider that fact that you will have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent.

Every day just dragged on, every day a repeat of the last. Wake up, drown in black coffee, scroll mindlessly through your phone and work your full time job. You called in sick too many days already so you have to go or you’re at risk at getting fired. The same day, every day. The same gloomy fucking day.

Jimin tried to call or text every day to make sure you were like, alive. He apologized over and over for not telling you as soon as he found out about the Taehyung situation but he felt that if Taehyung was going to tell you then it is best it comes from him and not Jimin. You can understand that. He also frequently would show up at your apartment to surprise you but you rarely let him in. You did feel bad though, he’s just trying to be there for you.

Jimin 6:04pm

Please let me in?

Jimin 6:05pm

Well…I have some take out for you babe, ill leave it on the doorstep.

Jimin 6:05pm

Call me sometime ok? Love you

Guilt would consume your body but you just couldn’t deal with human contact right now.

June

Around month 2 you finally felt okay to see people again—your close people that is—aka Jimin was finally allowed in, he made you take a hot bath while he cleaned up for you and made you a proper meal. The amount of instant ramen containers lying around the place was by far one of the grossest things he’s seen. The shit that was growing…he shudders just thinking about it.

He would come over every day after work in the evenings. He left day time babysitting to Trina.

“Girl…all this over a boy?” she would constantly say.

You also tried applying for job after job, but the postgraduation life is harder than you thought…at least for you. Jimin landed a job as a kids choreographer, Trina starts up at one of the local elementary schools as a kindergartner teacher and you? You’re still working at the bakery down the street. You applied for many entry level positions in the marketing field but failed miserably in interviews…which only further discouraged you and worsened your mood.

It was also around this time you decided to finally delete Jungkook off all social media and block his number. You refuse to hear from him at this point…not that he was reaching out or anything. You wonder what he’s up to postgraduation? No, you don’t want to know or care. You considered hanging up a picture of his face on your wall so you could throw darts at it but you decided that was maybe on the crazy side. Taehyung sends you weekly texts, asking about how your day/week is going. He updates you on his life as well, apparently he got the curator assistant position at the museum that he wanted. You still feel hurt over everything but you are happy for him. It’s funny, you feel so betrayed over that but Jungkook is the cause of your gloom.

Every day just drags on, you feel heavy everywhere you go. Even when you’re just at home in bed.

By the end of the month your friends somehow convinced you to go on a date—a horrible date at that.

He was awkward as hell, a bad kisser and would lightly…tap your ass in attempt to be sexy. It was a disaster, you don’t even remember what the two of you even talked about at dinner. You just remember his tongue being horribly shoved down your throat and his weird ass tapping habit.

July

Then month 3 finally came around. A month where the weeks went by breathing became just a bit easier. Yes, any and everything still reminded you of Jungkook but it didn’t hurt as terribly as the previous months. By the end of the month you even agreed to your first real social outing. You are hesitant, but you agreed…

“I don’t know guys…a birthday party? We like, don’t even know the girl?” you frown, nibbling on the flesh of your bottom lip.

You are sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, clothes piling all around you as you try to decide on what to wear.

“You need to get out babe…plus it’s a friend of a friend, so it’s cool.” Jimin says holding up a rose colored crop top, motioning for you to nod yes or no to his suggestion. You cock your head to the side, deciding what pants to go with it.

“I have to say I agree with Jimin, y/n.” your new roommate Holly chips in, “Since I’ve moved in I don’t think I’ve seen you go out even once.”

“Also a party is the best place to find some easy dick.” Of course that’s what Trina has to offer.

“Yes to the crop top Jimin.” You point your head towards the shirt, “Okay don’t have to call me out like that Holly.” You glare at your roomie, “And Trina, we both know I ain’t ready for no type of dick.”

“So we’re looking for some pussy tonight?” Trina smirks, “Nice.”

You rolls your eyes, a chuckle escaping your lips, “Shut up.” you throw a pair of shorts at her face.

“But seriously y/n…Maybe Trina is on to something…” Jimin sits down next to you, crossing his legs in front of him, “Maybe this is a good chance to like—”

“If you say move on I will literally kill you.” You cut in, “There’s nothing to move on from!” you throw your hands up dramatically. “Taehyung used me, Jungkook wants nothing to do with me. And—”

“Then why aren’t you ready for any type of dick?” Holly puts in her 2 fucking cents.

“Because I don’t want to be associated with any boys! Jimin is the exception.”

“Somehow I don’t feel flattered by that…” Jimin puts a hand on your shoulder.

“When’s the last time you got off?” Trina abruptly asks. You turn your head in shock at her shamelessness.

“Trina!”

“Answer her, I’m curious too.” Jimin squints at you trying not to laugh.

“It’s…” your eyes slide to the side, “It’s been a while.”

Trina shakes her in disapproval, “Damn girl, really? My fingers constantly playing DJ, you know what I’m sayin?” Trina goes in for a fist bump but you just push her hand away.

“You’re gross.” You laugh out loud, and it sounds like music to everyone’s ears.

“I’m just real babey.” She flicks her hair back with a proud smile on her face.

Having these 3 around has no doubt helped you deal with the loss you feel. You feel like you are still mourning the dead. How’s Jungkook even doing? You’re too afraid to ask Jimin. Too afraid that he’s doing amazing without you. He must of realized how much better off he is without you around and that makes you feel small.

“Fine…” you mutter under your breath…Jimin snaps his head to look at you, his sly smile growing as he watches you fiddle with a short mini skirt.

“Fine what?” Trina asks with a smirk.

“Let’s find me some dick tonight.”

“Hell fucking yeah.” Jimin claps his hands together, “Tonight is about you!”

“y/n makes her debut tonight! She’s hot, she’s single and she is ready to mingle!”

You can’t help but giggle, your hands bunching up the material of the mini skirt as you look down at it, making your decision.

“Let me get ready and we can get this night started!” you rush to your feet, all the sudden feeling excited for tonight. You are going to actually do your hair and your makeup—you even shaved. You are definitely breathing easier tonight and you have to take advantage of that!

“Let’s do shots as we wait girlies,” Holly shows a bottle of rum she had hiding behind her back, shaking it in excitement.

“Naughty girl.” Jimin winks, standing to his feet, heading towards the kitchen to grab some shot glasses.

You get ready quickly, but taking your time where it counts. You give yourself a once over in the mirror and you have to say you are impressed. Your black jean mini skirt sits right below your ass, while your tits pop in this rose crop top. You wear short heels, and simple jewelry with just the right amount of makeup that makes your features stand out, and you have to say you would kiss yourself if you could—you look fucking good.

“woooooo” Jimin and Trina whistle out at the same time as they walk back in your bedroom.

“I’d fuck.” Jimin says plainly.

“Same as fuck.” Trina says bluntly as she swallows down a shot.

“Yeah you look pretty y/n!” Holly smiles, not really on the same level of honestly as your other two friends.

You burst into giggles, throwing your head back in approval. “Thanks guys…..Lets fucking do this.” You walk towards Trina and grab her shot glass, and you take the bottle from Holly, pouring yourself a shot.

“Ready to fucking mingle.” You gulp down the rum, the burn only encouraging you, the warmth stinging your entire chest and you couldn’t feel more content.

This house was one of the bigger ones, it was full of people and more people and like, more people. You managed to swallow down 3 or 4 shots back at your apartment and the alcohol is definitely working its magic on you, the world just a little nicer.

The amount of people doesn’t even bother you like it usually would, instead you find yourself barging through the front door and making your way to the dance floor with your 3 friends trialing behind you.

The heat of the living room is already intoxicating you, the amount of bodies rolling and grinding makes you feel loose and free. Before you know it Jimin is pushing a drink into your hands and you hug him gratefully as you begin chugging it back.

“Woah slow down, we have all night—actually fuck it, I like your spirit tonight!” he chuckles lightly, his hands going to your waist, rocking you to the beat of the blaring music. Trina and Holly disappear into the kitchen to grab more drinks while you and Jimin dance to whatever b…t…ah, forget it, you forgot the band’s name.

“Are you having fun?” Jimin slurs out, his eyes barely visible as he laughs at nothing.

“So much fun!” you yell out over the music then you lean down into his ear and whisper, “Thanks so much Jiminie…I know I was a little difficult…”

“A little?” he teases.

Jimin’s eyes travel behind you before they are widening. You notice, of course. You are about to turn your head to take a look at whatever he is seeing when his snaps back to you in panic, his troubled smile growing.

“Let’s go find Trina and Holly, yeah?” he tries to usher you toward the kitchen and you oblige. Too drunk and feeling too good that his odd behavior goes ignored by you.

“Kay!” you smile, hooking your arm with his. “Letsa go!” you say like you’re fucking Mario.

The two of you walk to the kitchen, finding Trina and Holly playing a game of beer pong with two random guys.

“Hello my bitches!” Trina hollers over the thumping bass, as she scores a cup of pong, her other hand on Hollys lower back.

“Wait, gotta use the bathroom, be right back!” you slur into Jimin’s ear, he just nods distractedly as he watches the game, laughter erupting his body for probably no drunken reason.

You walk back into the living room and start heading towards the other side where the bathroom is. The journey to the bathroom is fun, you accidently bump into a lot of people but they don’t seem to mind as they will just drunkenly smile at you and you would smile back in your own drunken daze. You skim the room with a dopey smile on your face, just admiring the crowd. You are shocked with yourself…you missed people and you cannot believe it. You continue to observe when your eyes land on tattooed hands. The hands are grabbing a handful of ass on the dance floor. You know these hands. Your eyes travel from his hands to his strong arms to his face…it is hiding in the nook of some girls neck and you feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Jungkook.

He is kissing on some girl, no doubt leaving bruises behind from his attack on her neck. His hands cupping this girls ass so tightly, he guides her hips into his. You watch as she throws her head back in pleasure and you see him smirk. All his signature moves. You are left speechless. What could you even say? Why does this hurt? Why does this make you feel fucking sick? Why does it feel like you aren’t supposed to be witnessing this? Well, you know why but god, why?!

“y/n!!” It’s Jimin, jogging up behind you, “Fuck, I was trying to avoid you seeing this…” he admit softly, “I swear I didn’t think he was going to be here tonight…he didn’t seem that interested when I asked him about it…”

“It’s fine Jimin…” you mumble.

“Does it feel weird? Seeing him with this girl…?” Jimin is obviously trying to get you to admit something right now but you are not in the right head space to even give it a second thought.

“Why should it? Plus I’m used to this…she’s just some random girl for one night.” You twirl the ends of your hair between your fingers.

“Oh babe…” Jimin glances down at the ground, “This girl…she…he’s brought her to every party for the last month…” Jimin sounds as sorry as you feel.

The same girl? That’s impossible, you scoff. There’s no way Jungkook is actually seeing someone. But that doesn’t stop your stomach from twisting and turning and making you feel fucking sick.

“What do you mean?” you finally slur out, leaning your frame on Jimin.

“He brings her and they leave together too…” Jimin holds on to you, “I haven’t really asked him about her though.”

“Whatever. Fuck him, right? I won’t let this ruin my night.” You smile coyly, draping your arms around your friend. “Bathroom please.” You pout theatrically, pointing your head towards the bathroom.

“Okay let’s get you peeing in peace.” Jimin laughs, guiding you towards the door.

Once at the door, you knock a couple times to find that it is empty, “I’ll wait for you out here.” Jimin assures you.

Once inside the small room, you bunch up your skirt and pull down your panties, squatting on the toilet. You sigh in relief as you pee, but the relief you feel in your body stops when you recall the way Jungkook held and kissed this random but not so random girl.

Why should it bother you? It’s about time Jungkook got serious! But why did he have to dump you to achieve that? And why did It have to be with someone el…

You reach for the toilet paper, ripping it after a few sheets and wipe yourself as you drunkenly sing a tune. So what? You can easily replace Jungkook too!

You stand up, pulling your panties up and your skirt down and take a long good look in the mirror. Your hair is still intact, your makeup is only a little smeared—quick fix, and your tits are still poppin’. This night is just beginning, you decide. A whole new wave of confidence begins washing over you.

“Ready!” You pounce on Jimin’s back, he stumbles forward while laughing wholeheartedly.

“Should we look for Trina and Holly again? They’re probably still playing beer pong!”

“Sure.” You smile, walking hand in hand with Jimin as you make your way back to the kitchen.

Hours pass and you are now outside on the back porch piss drunk with your 3 friends and a couple new friends. Nick and his pal that you can’t remember the name of—but you remember Nick. He’s really tall and has nice muscles covering his body, his light hair is messy and looks like you would have fun pulling it.

“And that’s why I think aliens are already here bro, like they are probably here at this fucking party bro.” No name friend finishes his point. Nick holds in his chuckle as his drunk friend rambles.

“Totally bro.” Then his eyes land on you. Fuck, were you staring? Oh well, it’s best to get to the point. You two have been making eyes at each other all night and it’s time to make the next move.

“Hey Nick, wanna grab a drink with me in the kitchen?” you inquire with a sly smile.

Jimin’s eyes widen before he’s smirking “Don’t be silly, wrap that willy.”

Trina and Holly laugh at Jimin’s words while you turn fucking red with embarrassment.

“Sorry about him…” You excuse Jimin, but you continue to smile slyly.

Nick grins with all his teeth as he takes your hand and leads you back inside the house. His hand is much larger than yours and you are already imagining what his beefy fingers will do to your vagina. God, what’s his dick like???

You enter the kitchen and you and him walk towards the cooler full of beers, he lets you stand to the side as he goes to grab them.

“Nick!!!!” you hear a familiar voice and you wince. Jungkook stands next to the cooler, his hand wrapped around the girls hand, but he briefly lets go of it to dap up your fuck for the night.

“What’s up bro!” Nick returns the handshake, a wide smile on his face.

They know each other?

“I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight?” Jungkook’s hand goes back to holding on to the girl.

“I wasn’t going to but,” he nods towards you, “Glad I did.” He winks. Jungkook’s eyes follow Nicks nod and when he sees you stand there awkwardly he goes completely pale. Your eyes meet uncomfortably, Jungkook let’s go of the girls hand without a second thought.

“y/n?” he questions with a pained expression.

“You know her?” Nick asks, totally out of the loop.

You shift from one foot to the other, not really sure what to do or say. So you settle for his name. “Jungkook.” It feels foreign on your tongue. Like if you said it 3 times in a mirror a sinister ghost would come to murder you.

Jungkook opens his mouth then closes it then opens it then closes it again.

“Baaaaabe,” the girl next to him whines, “let’s get out of here already.” She says, not even acknowledging your existence.

Jungkook shamelessly eyes you up and down, his shock is very evident as he looks at you.

You can’t help but smile a little, knowing you look damn good.

“Let’s go too, Nick.” You saunter to his side, grabbing a hold of his bicep.

That’s when Jungkook knocks out of daze, his brows crease as he looks between the two of you.

“Wait—you and Nick?” he asks, completely amused.

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope.” Jungkook looks fucking smug as he smiles, his hand going to grab the girls hand again. “See you later?” he asks you. You of all people! “Uh? Probably not?”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Jungkook winks, turning around to leave as he leads his girl out.

Nick just continues to smile, completely oblivious, “So cool that we all know each other!” he grips on to your waist.

“Wait, how do you know Jungkook?”

“We—”

“Wait, it honestly doesn’t matter. Let’s just get out of here.”

“My place?” Nick breathes into your ear, he pushes your hips into his crotch so you can feel his half hard cock.

“Why are you already getting hard?” you tease, leaning up to kiss his neck.

“Honestly, I can’t stop staring at your tits. And I am imagining all the things I want to do to them.” He confesses hotly.

The uber ride to his place is short, only 10 minutes and it goes by quickly as you two have one another’s tongues down each others throats. His hands traveling all around your body, he even manages to slip his fingers past your panties to feel how wet you are.

“Fuck I can’t wait to get you inside…” his rapid breaths fan across your face as you nibble on his neck.

“Gonna fuck me?” you whisper quietly, not trying to get heard by the Uber driver, but you could also hardly care if he hears you or not, he gets 5 stars.

“Want you to ride me.” He palms his cock through his pants as he imagines you bouncing on his cock for him.

“If you deserve it like a good boy.” You replace his hand with your own, rubbing him ferociously over his jeans. You haven’t felt dick in months and the feeling is driving you absolutely wild, you haven’t felt this needy in a long time.

The Uber comes to a stop, parking in front of an apartment building. He lets the two of you know you reached your destination. You and Nick giggle as you thank him and stumble out of the car as you follow him to his apartment. He would stop every few seconds to plant kisses on your lips and grab your ass with a tight squeeze. He groans and rolls his eyes back as he explores your body.

“Wait til we’re inside,” you breathe out, your voice silky as hell.

Finally, after a short, kiss filled elevator ride later you arrive at his front door. His lips never leaving yours as he pulls out his keys, fumbling with them until he finds the right one.

He pulls away for a second to unlock the door and desperately pushes it open to let the two of you inside. Your lips are already back on his as you two trip into the entry way of the apartment, you walk him backwards, until his back is against a wall.

The apartment is dark besides the living room TV, you take a second to pull back and admire Nick’s fucked out expression, the blue glow of the TV making everything feel surreal.

You dive back in to kiss him, he prods his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with yours making you moan into his mouth.

“Hi guys!”

Your eyes shoot open, mouth still attached to Nicks. You push your head back, disconnecting from Nick and yank your head to the left where you see a wild Jungkook sitting on the living room sofa, his mouth full of the cereal he is eating. He is wearing the most shit eating grin you have ever seen on him.

“Jungkook?! What the fuck?” You spit out, totally fucking shocked. Like, obviously.

“Hey man…” Nick breathes out heavily, trying to speak properly, “I thought you would be at Vanessa’s tonight?”

“Nah,” Jungkook smiles, “Dropped her off and came home.”

HOME?

“H-Home?” You look between the two guys, what the fuck does he mean by that. This is Nicks place, right?

“Oh you didn’t know?” Jungkook nods his head toward Nick, “Nick here is my beloved roommate.”

“What the fuck…” you mutter under your breath, trying to understand the mother fucking situation. Were you about to fuck Jungkook’s roommate? Are you still going to is the real question?

“Wait, how do you two even know each other?” Nick starts to look antsy, “Don’t tell me she’s one of the girls you’ve fucked…come on bro, leave some for the rest of us.” He chuckles somewhat bitterly.

“No!” you’re quick to say. You begin smoothing out your skirt, then your hair. “We just…”

“y/n is my bestie!” Jungkook grins, putting the cereal down and standing up. He walks forward until he is making a triangle with you and Nick.

“Was.” You spit out harshly, crossing your arms across your chest. Nick just stands there confused as hell, looking between the two of you.

“Anyway, I should get going.” You turn your body to Nick, a look of apology on your face.

“What? We can just go to my room?” he slurs, tugging on his pants uncomfortably, his boner still apparent.

“Sorry, no longer in the mood.”

You pull out your phone to order an Uber when Jungkook takes your phone from you.

“I’m not drunk, I can drive you.” He offers. You push your head back in disbelief, how does Jungkook have the AUDACITY to offer that to you?

“Why the fuck would I want that?”

“So we can…” His eyes slide over to the ever growing confused Nick, “Talk.”

You haven’t spoken to Jungkook in 3 months and today is finally the day you are able to breathe a little easier and he just has to barge back in.

“Like I said,” You snatch your phone back from him, “Why the fuck would I want that?”

Nick shifts around uncomfortably, his eyes darting from you to Jungkook.

“Well, I am gonna head to my room…uh, bye y/n…it was nice meeting you…I guess…”

You and Jungkook both turn your heads toward Nick at the same time, eyes shooting daggers at him.

“Yeah, bye.” Jungkook dismisses his roommate, his jaw clenching.

“Nice to meet you too…”

Nick walks backward until his back meets his bedroom room, he looks at the two of you one last time before turning around to disappear into his room.

“I said, let me drive you home.”

“And I said, why the fuck would I want that?”

“y/n don’t choose now to be difficult.” Jungkook takes a step closer to you, his hands running through his dark, messy hair. His eyes shut in frustration, “I just want to talk to you.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you.” You take a step back, “Plus, how would your girlfriend feel if you took me home?”

Jungkook’s eyes narrow, his mouth setting in a firm line.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.” You scoff.

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, not knowing what to say. While she’s not his girlfriend she’s also not not his girlfriend. It’s complicated.

“Can I please, just please, can I take you home?”

“No, Jungkook. The fucking audacity,” you scoff again, “You haven’t spoken to me in 3 months,” your voice fucking cracks and you feel like dying. “Don’t start now.”

“y/n…” he runs another frustrated hand down his tired face, “I didn’t mean for it to go this long…” “I don’t fucking care, Jungkook.”

You feel your chest begin to burn, and your eyes begin to gloss over but you won’t cry. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

“I want nothing to do with you.”

You stare at the phone in your hands as you begin ordering your Uber when he yanks it from your hands once again, he hides the phone in his back pocket and you snarl.

“What the hell Jeon?”

“I said I am driving you home so we can talk so that’s what we are gonna fucking do, okay?” he grabs your hand and begins walking you towards the front door. There’s something about Jungkook...you decide to listen. You watch silently as he puts on his shoes and grabs his wallet and keys.

“Okay…” you finally answer, your voice timid.

He said you guys are going to talk but the car ride has been mostly silent save the low radio playing in the background. Maybe it’s better this way, you think. You aren’t sober, that’s for sure but you also don’t think you are drunk enough to handle this properly. You decide maybe that’s also for the best.

“You sir, are a fucking asshole.” You speak up, your fingers playing with the zipper of your purse. The car smells like it always does, his fresh laundry car freshener and you get sucked into a million memories linked with this scent.

“I know.” Jungkook eyes you from the driver seat, you shiver from the running AC and so he turns it down, “There’s a blanket in the back if you want to grab it.”

“No thanks, don’t know where that’s been.”

“It’s clean, I promise.”

Your eyes go wide as you recall his last promise to you…”Just a few days. I promise.”

“Yeah, I don’t actually believe in your promises anymore.” You continue to pick at the zipper of your purse, your eyes never leaving the zig and zag of the material.

“I needed space y/n, fucking sue me.” He groans out, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Oh I wish I could.” You snap back.

You feel your chest burn and tighten again, your eyes slightly watering. You have to force them shut to keep from any tears growing.

“I called and texted you every day.” You whisper, his grip getting tighter on the steering wheel.

“I gave you a few days Jungkook. But I never heard from you until 11 at night one night telling me you are fucking moving out.”

“I know, that was…fucked up, I admit. But I had to do what I had to do and I just wish you would let me explain that—”

“No.” you cut him off, “You don’t deserve to explain anything.”

“You mean so much to me y/n…”

“Don’t.”

Jungkook pulls over on the side of the road, turning off the ignition.

“What are you doing?” you sputter out.

He clicks his seatbelt off his body and turns to face you, “Getting comfortable.”

“Why?”

“Will you look at me?” Jungkook tilts his head towards you, “Will you please look at me?”

“No.” you stay facing forward, your hands folded in your lap.

“y/n…please.” His voice sounds strained and you almost feel bad. Almost, but not quite.

You don’t need this…you don’t need him. Ouch, you feel pain in your chest as you think that…oh, the lies you tell yourself.

“Say what you need to say Jungkook, so you can take me home.” Your face stays neutral.

Jungkook sighs out, feeling almost defeated, but not quite.

“I…I am so sorry.” He finally says.

“About what?”

“Everything y/n.” his voice cracks and somehow you feel satisfied.

“You’ll have to be more specific if you ever want my acceptance”

“I know…the first thing I am sorry for is not telling you about Taehyung. That was…that was wrong of me—”

“No shit, but go on.” Your voice stays steady as you speak.

“I was worried about other shit, I was selfish and it’s taking me a long time to forgive myself…but I’ve thought a lot about it these last few months and—and…”

“Oh? You’re worried about you forgiving yourself? Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about I don’t know, me?”

Jungkook frowns at your words, because well, you’re right. And he’s getting to that part but you keep interrupting him. But he lets you.

“Yes. I am most worried about you, of course.” He breathes out. “You have no idea what these 3 months without you have felt like…”

“Really Jungkook? If anyone knows its fucking me. I went 3 months without you too. You left me!” you start to lose your composure as you speak, your hands gripping on to your poor purse. “When I was going through a really hard time you straight up left me.” You whisper.

“Please believe me…I had my reasons. It was truly for the best y/n.”

“For the best?” you scoff. “You’re such an asshole.”

Jungkook winces at your words, he knows you mean them and that hurts him even more.

“Can you just trust me?” Jungkook blurts out.

Huh? You shake your head, disappointed he would say something so …well, ridiculous.

“Just stop, Jungkook.” You hesitantly roll your eyes, still shaking your head.

Jungkook licks his lips over and over, trying to figure out his next words.

“I really really,” he begins to lose it, his eyes darting all around the car. “just need you to trust me.” He blinks repeatedly, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.

You, of course, do not believe your ears. Trust him? How could you possibly trust him?

“I just really…I really had my reasons y/n. And I’m sorry, but I just need you to just trust me, that I had my reasons and that I do care about you.” His voice is shaky and you’re uncertain how to take this information.

“I’m confused…” you begin, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You want me to trust you? Even after you left me? Even after I ‘threw myself’ at you?!”

“You weren’t in the right head space y/n…you were vulnerable and…and you didn’t actually want me. You just were feeling used and rejected and needed something to make you feel wanted. To feel better. You wanted to use me for that and I couldn’t let you. But how much could I handle? You liked one of my friends, dated him…sort of, even slept with him and I had to be your shoulder to cry on when,” his breathing picks up heavily as he tries to speak, “it doesn’t matter.” He grits out.

You sit there…speechless. He wasn’t wrong, was he? You were feeling lost and rejected and used and you just wanted something or someone to feel better and who better than your best friend? But it’s also his fault you needed things to work out with Taehyung in the first place!

“Jungkook—”

“I’m not done.” He breathes out, his hot breath reaching your skin.

“I needed some space to think. But I realized I couldn’t properly think things through if I saw you every day, so yeah, I moved out. I’m sorry…” He runs a hand through his hair, a light chuckle makes it way past his lips “Then I met Vanessa.”

“I don’t want to talk about your little girlfriend.” You turn to face forward in your seat, your eyes glancing at the stop sign ahead.

“I told you, she’s not my girlfriend. But it is complicated.”

You continue to look straight ahead, your heart racing in your chest. The subject of “Vanessa” making you feel anxious.

“Complicated how?” you gulp.

“Don’t worry about it.” He laughs to himself, you turn your head to look at him.

“Are you serious, Jungkook?”

“We fuck y/n.”

“But it’s more than that right?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook bites down on his lip.

You look at him bewildered.

“Do you like her? Love her?”

You grip your purse in your lap, waiting for his answer. How would you feel if he answers yes? Are you brave enough to endure that answer? And if he says no? should you be happy? Should you feel relieved?

“No.” he closes his eyes, he folds his hands in front of him. “It’s complicated.”

You sign in relief—oh. Relief is the emotion you are feeling. Why? Why should it matter?

“Why are you telling me all of this?” you whisper.

“I want to be friends again, y/n.” he says softly, his eyes searching yours.

This is madness, how the hell could you save this friendship? Your face scrunches up and the first couple of tears slide down your cheeks, you shake your head as they continue to fall.

“You don’t know how this makes me feel…” you cry out. “I don’t even know how it makes me feel.”

You miss him, so fucking much and he’s right here offering himself to you. But you ‘re so hurt.

“y/n…I know I hurt you. But you gotta believe me when I say it is the hardest thing I have had to do…you understand that right? I had to do it…you understand right?” he begs.

“You were so quick to abandon me, Jungkook.” You drop your head into your hands, the tears uncontrollable now.

“I…” Jungkook begins to panic, his own eyes glossing over. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Please y/n…I can make it up to you.”

“Things would never be the same, you get that right?” you bawl into your lap, your words coming out broken.

“Please baby, I just need you in my life again…” Jungkook admits, his own words choppy. He reaches his hand to touch you, to his surprise you don’t flinch. His hand cups the back of your head and he begins to massage it softly.

“I have missed you so much and nothing I mean nothing can replace you.” He hesitates to continue, “trust me…I have tried.”

You sob into your hands harder, the weight of his words crushing you.

“I’m sorry Jungkook but I…I don’t believe you.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he absorbs your words, his mouth falls open in shock. Don’t believe him?

“What—what do you mean? What are you saying?” his panic filled voice makes your stomach churn.

“I reject your offer. Now please take me home.” You lift your head and stare straight ahead. “I’m serious.”

Jungkook face twists into a bewildered expression, he doesn’t believe his ears. You…reject him?

“Wait—”

“I said take me home now.” This time you snap your face in his direction, the cold look in your eyes piercing his very soul.

“Okay.”

Hopeless: the dictionary describes it as without hope ; despairing. But in reality, it’s just a picture of Jungkook’s poor, poor face.

Jungkook parks in his designated spot in the lot of his apartment complex, he reverses in because why the hell not. So extra. His drive home was silent… not even the radio on a low volume keeping him company, just complete silence. He turns the car off but doesn’t make a move to get out, he just continues to sit here in his car and sigh out dramatically every 5 seconds.

He’s so confused and lost on what to do. He bangs his head against the steering wheel a few times just for the hell of it, he just…he didn’t think you would reject him. But honestly? Can he blame you? All he’s done lately is be selfish and mess up over and over again. But he wishes you could just trust him but he also wishes he could just tell you the truth. Maybe then you could understand his position and you wouldn’t be mad at him anymore. But he has to wait.

Jungkook’s head is still banging against the steering wheel when more thoughts of you bombard his mind. His breathing picks up and he starts to sniffle, he doesn’t want to cry but you just…you don’t want anything to do with him. He balls his hands into fists and hit the steering wheel over and over causing the horn to go off a few times but he doesn’t care he’s so upset, he just….

When Jungkook saw you tonight for the first time in 3 months he swears his heart actually stopped. He swears it raced so quickly that it just stopped. He let go of Vanessa’s hand so quickly because he wanted to rush to you and hug you close, he wanted to just feel you. Not having touched your skin for the last 3 months…he doesn’t want to imagine even another day.

A few tears slip past his closed lids, he chuckles darkly as he recalls you and Nick. He thought, wow, the universe is cruel and also hilarious. His fucking roommate? He shakes his head, laughing again but his lips remain downward. He feels so fucking helpless right now. But he deserves this, he deserves to feel this pain. He did this to himself and he’s fully aware of that.

Jungkook thinks of your face, he thinks of your smile, he thinks of your eyes and he cries harder, his tears landing on the steering wheel and sliding down landing on to his lap. Yes, he feels like all hope is lost but he knows he cannot give up. He will win you over again one day. He lifts his head and wipes his tear streaked cheeks with the back of his hand and breathes out steadily.

“y/n…” he whispers to himself. Your name leaves his mouth in frustration. He won’t give up. He can’t.

~~~~

“And they were roommates?!” Jimin shouts, a banana half sticking out of his mouth, Trina gasps and whispers “Oh my god they were roommates.”

“Yeah, it was a total shit show.” You bang your head against your breakfast table. Holly rubs your back as she sits next to you.

“Then what happened?” she pries further.

“Yeah what the hell happened y/n!” Jimin yells out.

“He asked to be friends again…and I totally rejected him. Maybe I was too harsh? He was so sad guys…it makes me think…I might agree to kind of being…friends?”

Jimin shuts his eyes as a frown decorates his face, he places a hand on his hip and he inhales a sharp breath, “Listen…you’re both my friends and of course I want you to be good again…but he hurt you …bad.”

“I know Jiminie, but his reasons…” you bite your lip, “Never mind.”

“Well, I don’t like it.” Trina butts in. “He fucking left you, remember?”

“Yes Trina, I fucking remember—”

���Then fucking act like it!”

“Trina relax,” Holly intervenes. “They have a long history, right? It’s hard to just forget about everything…”

Jimin stands from his chair, hands on both hips. “Fine, if we are doing this…then you better actually try. Don’t half ass shit, if you’re going to be friends then don’t be an asshole to him, don’t make snarky remarks…I know your ass.”

Jimin has a good point, you haven’t actually thought about how you will act.

“I’ll be a good girl.” You raise your right arm to salute him.

“Fucking smart ass.” He rolls his eyes.

“Are we serious right now?” Trina shakes her head, “You moped around for 3 fucking months y/n. You cried every time you even thought of Jungkook…which was a fucking lot.” She points out, “Listen, you stayed strong when you talked to him in the car. Don’t break just because you feel bad for the dude because he’s fucking pitiful. He doesn’t deserve your pity girl. He’s an asshole!”

“Trina, be nice.” Holly says sternly, reaching forward to grab on to Trina’s hand. Trina visibly relaxes and nods her head towards Holly and smiles softly.

You and Jimin share a look. Are they….?

“You…” You slam your eyes shut, Trina’s words ringing loudly in your ears. You know she’s right. “I’ll think about it some more. For now, I gotta get ready for work.”

~~~~

“Doesn’t Hazel look so pretty here?” Adam shoves his phone in your face as he gushes about his girlfriend.

“Yes dude, she’s so pretty.” You deadpan. “Now can you please put the brownies in the oven? We’re low.”

“Wait wait…here’s one of us together at the park.” He nudges his phone in your hands, you roll your eyes but you take it.

The two of them are sitting on a park bench, she’s leaning into his frame and they both have wide smiles on their faces. They seem so in love. And you know they are because fucking Adam reminds you every 20 seconds.

“Their love makes me sick.” Jade walks over, her hands patting down on her work apron, her tone is bland but she still tries to smile. “Like, we get it.”

“Who loves who more?” you begin with a toothy grin, “Adam to Hazel or Lenny to the sugar cookies?” you laugh while pointing at said Lenny stuffing his face with the reject cookies. Jade and Adam chuckle while they stare at him.

“Hey guys, really?” Lenny says with his mouth full. “You know I feel bad when we throw them away.” He pouts, crumbs decorating his lips.

“Lenny I catch you eating fresh ones all the time!” Adam points out.

“Sometimes they’re a little ugly…” Lenny reasons, “So I…”

“You don’t have to explain my guy, you just really love your cookies.” You hand Adam back his phone as you head towards the walk in freezer to take out the brownies yourself. You load up a tray and stick those suckers in the oven.

“You’re useless Adam.” Jade sticks a piece of gum in her mouth and chews obnoxiously “U-s-e-l-e-s-s. Useless.”

“You’re always so mean to me Jade what did I ever do to you?”

All 4 of you shoot your heads up when you hear the bell go off on the door of the bakery, its loud chime signaling the arrival of a customer.

“Oh.” Jade says while popping a bubble. “It’s your usual customer y/n.”

You tilt your head towards the front of the store to get a look at who she is talking about, and yup its him. Your most consistent customer who orders the same damn thing every single day. 2 oatmeal raisin cookies and that’s it.

“Can someone else just take care of him today?” you whine, “I’m not in the mood to argue.”

“You know he’s just going to ask for you…” Lenny says stuffing his face with another cookie.

“God damn it.” You huff out, you grab two gloves from the box on the counter and begin walking towards the front of the store.

You reach the front counter and take in your enemy—you mean, your customer.

“And what do I owe the pleasure Mister Oatmeal Raisin?” you raise a brow towards the man. He’s only a few inches taller than you, his hair is a sandy color today and you hate to admit it looks good on him.

“You know you could just call me by name.” the man sways side to side with a smirk on his face.

“I like Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He has been coming to this store for the last couple of months and you two…don’t necessarily get along swimmingly. He complains a lot and is a total smart ass. And you? Well, you’re not much better.

“Well, I’ll have my usual.” He smiles, “And you know the drill, please make sure there is a normal amount of raisins and not a million, I don’t want 8 raisins a bite. But one every now and then.”

You roll your eyes extremely dramatically, pressing the buttons on the screen for his order.

“Sir yes sir.” You salute towards him, “How could I not know the drill?”

“That’s the spirit.”

You spin on your heels and head towards the back to heat up his two cookies. You carefully select one cookie with barely any raisins and one cookie with a million, just like he didn’t want. You cackle to yourself as you place them in the baggy, feeling beyond satisfied.

“How haven’t you gotten fired?” Adam crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you, “And how hasn’t he complained about you? You do this every time I don’t get it.”

“He likes her.” Jade says plainly while scrolling through her phone.

“As fucking if!” you scoff, “He wants nothing but to annoy me!” But you can’t help but smile.

“He literally only asks for you every time you’re in.” Lenny reasons, “but you shouldn’t like him back…he likes the worst cookie on the menu. Sugar is where it’s at.”

You laugh at your coworker while walking back up towards the front of the store, reaching the counter.

“Your cookies!” you hand him the baggy with an evil smirk, “I hope you enjoy them.” You wink.

The man opens the baggy and inspects each cookie and with his own evil smirk he winks back at you, “Are we serious right now?” his sly smile doesn’t leave his face as he begins to complain, “You are such a brat.”

“$4 Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He hands you the cash, you put it away quickly and with a wide smile you gesture towards the door for him to leave.

“Min Yoongi.” He shakes the bag of cookies in front of him, “Not Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” He turns around and starts walking towards the door but before he exits he tilts his head to look at you one last time, “See you tomorrow…y/n.”

You feel a harsh blush creep up on your cheeks, or your whole face actually. Maybe your whole body. You feel taken aback he knows your name but then you remember you have a god damn name tag.

“Uh…yeah.”

“See you tomorrow…y/n.” all 3 of your coworkers mock in a deep voice.

“Shut up guys!” you whine into your hands, “Can we please just get back to work!”

~~~~~

A few weeks later

The drive to Jimin’s is a quick 7 minutes but you did take a little detour. You decided to stop at the pizzeria that’s on the way and grab a hot pizza for the two of you.

“Hehe.” You look over to the steamy food sitting in the passenger seat.

Jimin has been such a great friend to you all this time and you feel like you’ve never really thanked him…so, tonight you two are going to have a fun night in—he just doesn’t know it yet.

Who doesn’t love being surprised with food?

You pull up to Jimin’s apartment complex and after driving in circles you finally find a parking spot. You grab your purse, your backpack, and the pizza and make your way up to his apartment.

You knock on his front door a few times but get no answer. Maybe he’s not home? No, you definitely hear music coming from the other side…so, you decide to call him.

“Hello?”

“Jimin~ let me in!” you sing into the phone.

“You’re—you’re here?”

“Let me in already!” and with that you hang up and wait patiently outside the door.

A few moments pass before the door is opening up, when Jimin really registers that it’s you he’s kind of closing the door until only his face is shown through the crack.

“Ummm…yes?”

You quirk a brow at the boy, “What do you mean ‘yes?’ let me in!” you begin walking forward when a panicked Jimin opens the door wider to let himself outside and shut the door behind him.

“y/n…why are you here? Did we have plans tonight?” he looks down at the pizza in your hands.

“Not exactly…” you admit, “But I figured we could have a night in.”

Jimin frowns. Fucking frowns!

“Or not?” you say awkwardly.

You hear some sort of banging on the other side of the door and then it clicks.

“Oh? You have someone over?” you smirk.

“Uhhh…no. Nothing like that.” Jimin’s eyes slide to the side as he tries to think of what to say next.

“Babe—”

“Jimin!”

The door is being swung wide open and your eyes travel from some horrendous toes socks to some tight jeans to a striped t shirt to yes, Jungkook’s surprised face.

“Oh.” You both say at the same time.

You and Jungkook stare at one another for a few moments, neither of your eyes leaving the other when Jimin clears his throat.

“Sorry y/n. Jungkook is already over…” he gives you an apologetic smile.

“Is it just you two?” you ask quietly.

“Huh? Uh, yeah.”

You glance down at the pizza and think to yourself. You and Jungkook may not be friends but you can be civil? Yeah, totally! You can definitely be civil! You already bought this fucking pizza so you and Jimin are going to eat it! And you guess, Jungkook too.

“Okay, let me in.” you start shoving your way past Jimin, you watch as his and Jungkook’s eyes go wide.

“Maybe you didn’t hear him, but I am already hanging out with him?” Jungkook sputters out. He awkwardly moves to the side anyway to let you through.

“I can be civil with you Jungkook. Plus, I don’t want this pizza to go to waste. So let’s eat.” You walk through, nudging the pizza box into Jungkook’s hands, he takes it while looking at Jimin with shocked eyes.

Jimin just shrugs and follows you inside.

“Yeah, let’s eat.” He says nonchalantly.

Jungkook is left at the door with the pizza in his hands as he is left completely dumbfounded. He is malfunctioning.

“Jungkook?” you call out over your shoulder, “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“Yeah, Jungkook hurry up!” Jimin smirks, he isn’t totally sure what’s going on but he kind of likes it.

“So what were you guys doing before I got here?” you shove an entire slice of pizza down your throat, the sauce getting left behind on your lips.

“I was teaching Jungkook some of my dance moves…we made a bet that he couldn’t learn the entire routine in 3 times…and—”

“Let me guess, he fucking learned it.” You laugh.

Jimin groans, his head thrown back as he begins nodding his head ‘yes.’

“So annoying! What can’t he do!” Jimin throws the pizza crust in the box and Jungkook immediately picks it up and eats it.

“Pshh, I could name a few things.” You point out bitterly. “But we won’t get into that.”

“Yeah, please don’t.” Jimin pleads.

“I’m curious…what is it you think I cant do?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you and your eyes darken in his direction.

“You really want me to?” you take a napkin and wipe your lips, “It’s nothing nice.” You admit.

“Oh then yes, please don’t.” Jungkook is quick to say.

“Yes, please don’t.” Jimin begs again.

The 3 of you are sitting on the living room floor, maybe only 30 minutes or so has passed by and it’s not too awkward. But it’s not necessarily comfortable either. Jimin looks between you and Jungkook constantly, waiting for someone to crack but neither of you really speak to each other. Both of you really only communicating with Jimin.

“So Jimin, are you going to show me another routine?”

“Why? So you can prove you’re the master of everything again? No thanks.”

“Jimin, maybe you can show me a few steps?”

Jimin smiles awkwardly while Jungkook is quick to burst out laughing. You snap your head towards Jungkook and raise your brows at him.

“Why is Jungkook laughing, Jimin?”

“Umm…” Jimin smiles softly, “You aren’t the most…”

Jungkook laughs harder as he watches Jimin trying to explain.

“Aren’t the most…?” You tilt your head towards the boy.

“C’mon y/n don’t make me say it…” Jimin drags out his words in a whine, he plays with his fingers, looking around the room awkwardly.

“Just say it Jimin.” Jungkook chuckles out.

“If you’re trying to say I’m a bad dancer, we all know that’s not true!” you defend once you catch on, you pout at the boys.

“Well…”

“You have both told me I am a good dancer!”

“Well, you know how to move. But steps…following a routine…that’s different. You aren’t very coordinated.” Jimin finally admits, a sheepish grin on his face.

“He means you can roll your hips but your feet are clumsy as fuck.” Jungkook says, still laughing at the situation.

“Shut up.” You glare at Jungkook.

“No, he’s right.” Jimin begins laughing as well, he looks at you and smiles. Well, if Jimin is saying it…maybe it might be true. It’s not like you didn’t kind of know. But still!

“Fine, whatever. Don’t teach me then.”

Suddenly, Jimin’s phone is going off and he rushes to the kitchen to answer it. You and Jungkook eat your pizza in silence, awkwardly catching one another’s gaze.

“So—”

“Don’t talk to me.” You cut in. Jimin isn’t here so it’s not like you have to be totally social with Jungkook.

“Oh.” Jungkook dramatically slumps his shoulders and pouts. You watch him as he throws a silent fit like the baby he is. “Okay.”

Jimin walks back into the living room looking annoyed, he stands between you two and throws a hand on his hip.

“I have to go down to the front office, there was a mix up in packages…I shouldn’t take too long…” he bites down on his plump bottom lip, “Please be civil while I’m gone. Jungkook…” he looks at the boy then at you, “y/n…” he warns.

“Sir yes sir!” you salute towards your friend with a straight face.

Jimin only narrows his eyes as he looks between you two.

“I’m serious…” he says.

Then he is putting on some shoes and heading out the front door, the soft click making you shudder. You’re alone with Jungkook.

A few minutes pass and you both awkwardly just sit there, sometimes catching the other looking. You finally huff out and accidentally giggle.

“What’s funny?” Jungkook’s curiosity getting the best of him.

“It’s just…I feel like we’re Jimin’s divorced parents and we’re trying to be civil for our child.”

Jungkook stares at you with scrunched brows, then looks away while a chuckle escapes his lips.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

You only nod your head in response. You two go back to the awkward silence.

You aren’t used to this…this awkward and odd silence that lingers between you two. It feels so fucking suffocating you almost wish you were on total talking terms so you didn’t have to endure this shit show.

“You know I could…no, forget it.” Jungkook bites his nails as he speaks, “I…”

“What?” you don’t mean to snap at him, but somehow even talking with an attitude feels better than not talking at all.

“I was going to say…I could teach you some steps…then you could surprise Jimin. He’s been working on a salsa piece…I can teach you some? Then maybe he will stop talking shit on your dancing.” Jungkook laughs awkwardly.

“Wait—he talks shit?!” somehow this doesn’t surprise you in the least.

“Only a little.” Jungkook shows you how little with his pointer finger and thumb. “But uh, want me to show you?”

“I don’t even want to talk to you, you think I want to dance with you?” you raise a brow in amusement. You forget this boy has all the audacity.

“Dancing doesn’t have to have any talking.” Jungkook states with a sly smile.

“So you’re just going to show me the steps?”

“Precisely.”

You don’t know why, but this sounds better than actually speaking and/or just sitting in miserable silence. And maybe, just maybe you have a desire to be close to him.

“You think I could learn in time before Jimin gets back?”

“With me as your teacher? Definitely.” He fucking smirks at you and you can’t help but feel that feeling in your stomach. Not necessarily a bad feeling but a fucking feeling.

Jungkook stands to his feet and extends his hand out to you for you to take.

“Here, stand up.”

Your eyes travel from his hands to his eyes and you blink lazily at him…wait, you’re really doing this? He stares down at you and he smiles softly and it creates a warmth in your chest that you’re trying so hard to ignore. You can’t.

Even so, you hesitantly begin to reach up to grab on to his hand, once your skin touches his you feel it. The burning. You should be used to it but right now, the fire is raging and the heat is almost too much. But you let him close his hand over yours as he helps you up.

You’re now standing in front of one another, in complete silence again. But this time it’s not awkward—no, it’s a different type of tension. Your hand lingers in his, neither of you brave enough to let go of the other. Jungkook looks down at you and you up at him, and you feel a million things. But the number one thing you feel is pain. You slowly pull your hand back and break eye contact with him, your head dropping low.

“Show me already.” You whisper.

“Shh, no talking.” Jungkook quietly demands. “Only speak with your body.” He puts some music on the speakers and smirks at you.

Jungkook steps closer to you and you stay grounded in your spot, you can feel the heat of his body begin to radiate and warm you. One of his hands find yours, he weaves his fingers through your own and puts one hand on your hip, he looks down at you to warn you this is how he will guide you.

“Just follow me.”

“You said no talking Mr.Jeon.” you say almost under your breath as you stare into his eyes. Jungkook rolls his head back with a smirk on his face, he looks at you and nods.

He puts his left foot forward and steps with his right foot in the same place at center, then puts his left foot back again. You try to copy his moves but even with such simple steps you step on his feet. He looks up at you disapprovingly. You only smile at him.

You two continue to try these steps until you finally manage to understand them even just a little bit. Jungkook brings your body closer to his as you two move your hips to the music while following the simple steps. His chest flush against your own, his heart beating so loudly you can feel it. Your heart isn’t any better. You start to finally get the hang of it, the music slowly taking you to another place. Jungkook moves his hips to the beat so flawlessly and honestly? You’re doing pretty fucking good if you do say so yourself.

Jungkook’s grip on your hip tightens as he grinds himself closer to you, you feel lightheaded as you two dance to the song. Your breathing getting just a little heavier and you feel lost and pathetic but you’re too immersed in the dance to care. Jungkook finds his head falling into the crook of your neck, his hot breaths fanning against your sensitive skin and you find your hand skimming up his back until you have a handful of his hair. You lightly tug on his locks and Jungkook quietly groans. You don’t know if you’re even doing the right steps anymore, your feet moving all around the place, but somehow it’s working. You’re still following his lead and you’re sure the dance looks somewhat okay. All you care about is how both of your hips move to the beat of the music and into each other. You two are so in sync its driving you nuts.

Jungkook lifts his head and watches as you close your eyes and he closes his own eyes, his head falling forward, your foreheads close to touching. You feel so dizzy, so light and airy, so fucking great like you’re floating. You can’t help but feel the heat creep up your entire body, you feel sweat start to build as you two move. You tighten your hands around Jungkook’s neck and pull him down impossibly close, until his forehead is touching yours. Your harsh breaths mingling with his. You get dragged into the memory of when he had you pinned to his dorms mattress, you recall how his lips left kisses all along your throat, his hot breath reminding you of the past. You think of how he rolled his hips into you effortlessly then as well, you think of how you scraped your nails down his back as he thrusted into you. God, you need to think of something else but Jungkook is filling your mind.

Jungkook’s breathing picks up again, as does yours. Your memories making this dance that much more sensual. You remember the way Jungkook nibbled on your ear as he let filthy words spill from his mouth when he fucked you. God, you should not be thinking this but his body feels so good. God, you should think of anything…literally anything else. You remember how he held you close much like how he is right now. You two continue dancing to the song that is soon coming to an end. You know exactly how it feels to have Jungkook inside you, moving and stilling. You know exactly what it feels like to come all around his cock. God, you need to stop. You need to slow your breathing. God, you…you…you...he continues to guide you along to the music when you feel something hard poke against you. Oh. Oh. OH. Hard. He’s hard.

Immediately, you pull back and take several clumsy steps backward. You blink at him with wide eyes when you realize that maybe he was recalling the same memories as you. Your wide eyes concerning Jungkook.

“Okay, that’s enough lessons for today.” Your harsh breaths don’t go unnoticed by Jungkook, his own breathing quite unsteady.

“Right.” Jungkook mumbles.

You two stand around for a few moments, just taking in the experience you just shared.

You still feel…how do you feel? You just shared a hot dance with your best friend? Wait—ex best friend? You don’t know. The memory of his body moving with yours, his skin touching your skin, his breaths on your neck, his hair balled up in your hands. God, it felt so good.

But so wrong.

“Umm…thanks.” You finally say.

Jungkook perks up at the gratitude, even if it’s somewhat forced. His frown turns into a small smile and you can’t help but smile back.

“I miss you y/n.” Jungkook instantly regrets it by the look on your face. Your expression turning hard. “Sorry I—”

“No, I miss you too.” You answer honestly. “But this doesn’t change anything.”

“But why not? Do you really not want me in your life for like, ever?”

Jungkook’s questions settle deep within you. The depth they hold…it’s too much. You wonder? Is this anti-Jungkook thing permanent? Or are you just trying to teach him a lesson?

Jungkook rubs his temples as he thinks, he sighs out instead of talking more.

“Not forever.” You finally say. Jungkook looks at you, a sliver of hope flashes across his face.

“But when?” he asks softly.

Yeah y/n. When? You know you both can’t go back to how things use to be but maybe starting over? God, you don’t know what to do! You know someone like Trina will be disappointed you became friends with Jungkook again so quickly, but you know someone like Jimin would be happy his two friends are back to being on okay terms. Why are you trying to please everybody? What do you want?

“Will you ever give up?” you say a little more lightly.

“No…” he says under his breath, his eyes focusing on the TV. “Not until you agree to be my friend again.”

You look at Jungkook with disbelief written all over your face, this boy has the fucking audacity once again. You’re amused though.

“Excuse me?” you say, cleaning your ear out with your point finger. “I didn’t catch that.”

Jungkook looks into your eyes, his eyes are large and doe like and it brings you back to every moment ever that he has given you this look.

“You’re stuck with me until you love me again.” He says more firmly.

“Who said,” you look at him with soft eyes, “That I ever stopped loving you?”

Jungkook smiles, he fucking smiles. His adorable bunny smile that makes your heart race.

“You still love me?”

“Only a little.” You jut your lip out, “I mostly hate you.”

Jungkook only frowns for a second before he is smiling again, “That’s fair.”

The two of you stand in comfortable silence for a few minutes, you sway back and forth wondering what you want to say to him—you miss him, of course but…

“Let’s take it slow.” You finally break the silence. You miss him more than anything and it might be worth it to have him in your life again, “You aren’t going to be a priority in my life anymore.” You crack you knuckles, the sound filling up the room.

“I know,” Jungkook feels his heart twist at your words but at least it’s something. “We can go however slow you want y/n.”

“You are on—”

“Thin fucking ice, buddy. I know.”

You exhale a shaky breath, thinking about how to go about this, “We can text every now and then, I’m not sure I want to hang out with you quite yet.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe a group hang out first…”

“I’d like that.”

Jungkook reaches over to grab your hand but you pull back, “That’s a no from me for the affection.”

Hurt flashes across Jungkook’s features but he softens up as he nods his head. “Noted.”

You wonder if you’re making the right decision. This wasn’t easy, you know? This actually felt quite hard. But somehow you feel like some weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like things maybe just maybe will be okay.

“I won’t push myself on you, I promise.” Jungkook sits back down on the floor, crossing his legs.

“Just be yourself, Jungkook.”

“If I wanted to be myself I would be hugging you right now but that’s apparently off limits.” He jokes.

“One hug.” You open your arms timidly. You feel one hug can’t be too bad?

Jungkook widens his eyes in pleasant surprise. He stands to his feet again and opens his own arms.

“C’mere.”

You watch in disbelief as he grins with his arms wide open, expecting you to go to him! And you do. You fucking do.

His arms wrap around you, he pushes you into his chest and you feel so fucking good. So warm, so cozy. His scent making you feel dizzy again, his warmth causing you to heat up. You lean back and look at his content face, he honestly looks so fucking content. Like, this hug is everything to him. And maybe it is, but you don’t know that.

“Uh, am I interrupting something?” you both snap your heads toward the front door to see Jimin standing there with a package in his hands.

“I can come back later?” he smirks at you two.

“No no no no!” you drop your arms from hugging Jungkook and take a few steps back, “We were just—”

“We made up, Jimin.” Jungkook says calmly with the softest smile you’ve ever seen on him.

“We’re taking it slow!” you rush to say.

“Oh?” Jimin winks, he walks forward until he’s in the living room joining you two. “Does this mean you will be joining us this Thursday at Jungkook and Nick’s place?”

“Huh?”

Jungkook shifts on his feet, “Yeah, uh, me and Nick are having a small get together on Thursday…you can bring whoever you want…but you’re definitely invited.”

“Before I answer that…Jimin how did you not know about Nick and him being Jungkook’s roommate?”

“Listen! Jungkook is always HERE! I never go over there! The few times I was there Nick was never home okay?!” Jimin whines obnoxiously.

“Okay, whatever. And Jungkook, I said—”

“You said group hang outs.” Jungkook pouts.

Oh. You did say that. But this soon? And is she going to be there?

You chew on your lips before answering, “Okay. But I’m bringing Trina and Holly.”

“Oh bro, Trina is not your biggest fan.” Jimin cuts in.

“Yeah, I know how she is I already anticipated that.” Jungkook shrugs, he looks at you with a small smile.

Okay, starting over? Taking it slow? Can you and Jungkook do this? You look between the boys and smile,

“Okay. See you boys on Thursday.”

[slasherhaven]

How would Bo, Thomas, Michael, and Brahms react to seeing their fem s/o getting kissed and hit on by a male friend? Luv u and ur writing btw 🧡💛🤍

Thank you so much! ❤ They’re kinda long so I put them under the cut. Enjoy!

Thomas Hewitt:

You were a member of the Hewitt family not a captive so you were allowed to keep in touch with old friends, as long as they knew you were loyal to them. And you were.

But when your friend since childhood said that he wanted to visit, you were sure the family wouldn’t allow it. You brought it up away.

Hoyt had been dead against it but Luda May said she would consider it. She and Tommy didn’t want you to feel trapped in the house, like you couldn’t have a life at all, but they knew the risk.

Finally Luda May said your friend could visit but laid out some ground rules. He could stay for few days maximum and you had to make sure he didn’t see anything suspicious. During that time, the family would be on their best behaviour. You appreciated her for that.

And so your friend came to visit, greeting you with a hug and telling you how he missed you since you moved away.

You introduced him to the family. Warning him that Hoyt and Monty could be a little difficult but to just ignore them. Luda May was welcoming enough but you knew that she would be watching him like a hawk, she had to watch out for her family after all.

Then you introduced him to Thomas, the man you had been telling him about for so long. You had forewarned him about the mask, just telling him not to comment on it, and he politely shook his hand. 

It all seemed to be going well.

The few days went by quickly, catching up with your old friend.

But the other members of the family weren’t so optimistic about the whole thing.

Thomas had noticed it almost instantly, the touches and smiles that your ‘friend’ gave you. But he tried to shake it off. He trusted you and loved you, he just wasn’t sure about this man. But then he convinced himself that it was his own insecurities messing with his mind.

But...other’s had noticed it as well.

Luda May noticed it instantly, she could be observant like that. Your friend seemed to be straight up flirting with you, even in front of the other family members (including Tommy). The looks your friend would give you and Tommy when you showed any sign of affection towards him.

She also noticed that you seemed completely oblivious to it.

The whole thing definitely bothers Thomas. He already thinks that you deserve better than him and what if your friend was that better thing? And what if you realised it?

He’s likely to become more distant towards you during those few days. Though he will be glaring at your friend whenever they’re in the same room.

He’s more likely to grow distant when Hoyt teases him about it, saying that you were going to run away with your friend. He didn’t want to believe it but if he was right?

It all comes to a climax on the day your friend is supposed to be leaving. You walk him to his car, giving him a hug goodbye and telling him to let you know he got home safe. The family watching from the house.

But before you can pull away, your friend holds you in place.

Before you can question him, he starts talking, asking you to go back with him. He tells you how he missed you and how you belong back ‘home’.

Of course you’re protesting, telling him that you’re staying here with the people you call family.

Speaking of the family, they’re all ready to act. Luda May ready to send Thomas out there. Even Hoyt is getting a little protective, you are family now after all.

And then, in a last attempt to convince you, your friend kisses you.

The front door is already opening and the family is coming out.

The whole thing saddens Thomas. All the flirting had been hard to watch but you never responded to it. Now, seeing another man kiss you, it was just breaking his heart. For a moment, he really thought that you might just leave him.

Yet he also found his fists clenching protectively, knowing that you hadn’t welcomed the kiss. If somebody made you comfortable, he’d kill them. Or at least he’d want too.

Luda May can’t help but smile when you push your friend away, chastising him for kissing you like that.

But you were still kind. Telling him that you didn’t have those feelings for him, that you were happy here, that you loved Thomas, and telling him that he should just leave.

Your friend went to argue with you but you insisted that it would be better if he just left.

Once your friend’s car disappeared out of sight, you headed back up to the house, where the family was waiting for you.

Luda May ushered the others away, letting you and Thomas talk alone.

Thomas has seen and heard everything. You saying that you were happy here and in love with him, unashamed of him and even proud of him, would warm his heart.

The sight of that man kissing you still hurt him. If you hadn’t pushed him away, Thomas might have just killed him for touching you against your will like that.

Thomas is going to need some love and affection, just some reassurance that you meant what you said. You are so happy and so in love with him. Just give him some hugs and kisses, making sure to remind him that you’re here with him because you want to be. 

In away the whole thing was a little reaffirming to him. That you had been given a way out, another (and in his eyes, better) option, but you so quickly and confidently chose him.

God, he loved you and was so glad that you loved him too.

He’ll wrap his arms around you, holding you to his chest. 

Your friend had told you that you should go home with him but you and Tommy both knew that this was your real home, the Hewitts’ were your family.

Just make sure to show him lots of affection, holding his hand, lots of hugs and kisses. Compliment him, make sure you tell him how much you love him. He’ll be feeling much better real soon.

Michael Myers:

Michael was bored and you weren’t home. You had gone out to meet a friend and he didn’t know when you would be back.

So what was he to do? It didn’t take him long to come to the rational conclusion that was to find you and follow you around time. It’s just something that he does when he’s bored, since he couldn’t just walk through town like a normal person. You knew about this hobby of his and didn’t mind so much.

It didn’t take much searching before he found you, walking beside your friend you had mentioned but name that Michael had forgotten.

The two of you are talking and laughing like friends do but Michael can’t really make out the conversation from how far away he is.

Then you seem to check the time and come to a stop, turning to tell your friend that you should be heading home.

Now your friend seems nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his feet. Michael isn’t interested in him but is curious as to what he seems to want to tell you.

Then the man says something that makes you frown, your face softening sympathetically. You apologise and shake your head.

Then, in a fast but gentle gesture, this friend of yours is kissing you.

Michael has never felt this feeling before. He’s furious, his possessiveness skyrocketing...or is that jealousy? No, it can’t be.

Either way, his fists are clenching and he’s moving towards the two of you. He is going to kill a man right in the middle of the street, he knows he is and he isn’t even going to try to stop himself.

But then you push the man away, looking more annoyed than sympathetic now.

And Michael comes to a stop, a little...curious?

You chastise the man and now Michael is close enough to hear some of what you are saying.

You reiterate that you aren’t interested and that you are already with somebody.

Your friend apologises but you tell him to just go home.

As you turn to head home, you spot Michael’s looming figure hiding among the shadows. You had become extremely good and seeing him where others wouldn’t even notice him. 

As usual, you can’t tell what he is thinking or what he is going to do.

You slowly start making your way home, checking over your shoulder to make sure that he is following you and not your friend.

You knew that he had seen everything and you worried that you would kill the poor man. You might be angry with him but that didn’t mean you wanted him dead.

Luckily, Michael follows you all the way home.

What really angers him is when you plead for him to spare your friends life.

Why? Why should he spare him when he would put you in that position even then you told him that you weren’t interested? He deserves what he gets, Y/n.

But you explain that it would complicate things, draw too much attention to you both. It’s not worth it. He won’t be a problem anymore, you promise.

Reluctantly Michael agrees. But if your friend pulls another stunt like that, he will kill him.

Affection and discussing feelings can be very difficult with Michael. But you’ll remind him that you’re only interested in him anyway, that you love him. 

He’ll accept the affection you give him but he’s processing a lot of complicated emotions right now.

It may turn into possessiveness so what I’m trying to say is that you’re in for one hell of a night. A lot of gruff “mine”s coming from him. He’s got to prove a point, you know?

Brahms Heelshire:

Most of your socialisation outside of the manor was done on the phone with old friends.

One of your friends finally decided that he wanted to visit you, joking that you must be going crazy all alone in that huge house. Of course, you had told your friends about the job that brought you to the house. They just thought you were caring for the house while the owners were gone.

You had actually discouraged your friend from visiting but he insisted, pretty much leaving you with no choice.

So then you had to tell Brahms and he wasn’t impressed. One of the rules was ‘no guests’ so of course he wasn’t happy about it.

You had told him that it would be a week at most and that you could introduce him as your boyfriend. 

With enough convincing, Brahms finally gave in but he wouldn’t really want to meet your friend. He doesn’t want anyone other than you knowing about him so he decides to head back into the walls for the week. 

And he is watching everything.

As soon as your friend arrives and greets you with a hug, Brahms is already fuming. He’s selfish and wants you all to himself, even he knows that, but you’ve been making progress on these issues of his so he isn’t quite as impulsive. He will wait and see what happens...

Everything bothers him.

Your friend is really...friendly. Too friendly by Brahms’ standards. Why does he always have to be touching you.

Still, Brahms can’t help but smile when you tell your friend about your new boyfriend. He knows you can’t give him too much information but Brahms is glad that you’re talking about him.

But that doesn’t seem to be deterring your friend...

Still, every night, Brahms will join you in your bedroom, getting your full attention then. 

He expresses that he doesn’t like your friend but that doesn’t surprise you at all. You promise him that he has nothing to worry about and that he’ll be gone before he knows it. 

Then your friend started talking about how you should quit the job and move back home, that you were missed and you belonged back home.

Brahms was furious but relaxed a little when you protested. Saying that this was your home now, that you had a relationship here and were happy here.

And, as if in an attempt to convince you of his argument, your friend kissed you.

Brahms burned with anger. If you didn’t act quick enough, Brahms would have done something. And he probably would have hurt your friend for two reason. 

One being: this man just came into his house and is trying to take you away. 

The other being: you didn’t want him to kiss you and how dare he do something that you didn’t want? How dare he lay a finger on you?

Luckily, for your friend, you pushed him away and put some distance between you both. 

You knew that Brahms must have seen that and that your friend was now in danger, so you told him to pack his bags and leave.

Of course your friend tried to argue and explain himself but you knew that you didn’t have the time for that. 

You had to get him out of the house before Brahms did something.

Brahms watched even closer than usual, making sure that the man left without a fight. 

You showed your friend to the front door, telling him that you just aren’t interested in him and that it was wrong of him to do that when you had already told him you were in a relationship.

You closed the front door and locked it, just in case he tried to come back and explain himself again.

When you turned back to begin your search for Brahms, you almost collided with his chest. He was already there, staring down at you silently.

The first thing you thought to do was tell him not to worry and to just let your friend go, he wouldn’t be bothering either of you anymore.

You promise him that you aren’t interested in your friend at all, that you’re still here with him because you really do love him.

Brahms is definitely mad at your friend but he’s also in need of some major love and attention. It had been almost a week of sharing your attention and then...that happened. 

He’ll wrap his arms around you and you instantly return his embrace, letting him bury his masked face in the crook of your neck. For a moment there, he thought he was going to loose you.

But this doesn’t last long. He is still a cheeky little shit and will find an excuse to make reparations in the bedroom. 

Either claiming that he has to show you why you chose him or, if he’s feeling more bratty, that you have to show him just how much you love him.

In the end, Brahms is going to sulk about it for a while but also feels smug about you choosing him so quickly.

If your friend shows up again, it’s going to be difficult to convince Brahms to spare his life for a second time.

Bo Sinclair:

You lived in Ambrose with the three brothers and you were happy there but you still kept in touch with people from your old life.

Then your childhood best friend said that he wanted to visit.

You knew that Bo would be against it, just because of protecting the town and his family. He couldn’t risk an outsider coming in like that.

But you finally managed to convince him. He told you that he was your responsibility, you had to make sure that he didn’t see anything suspicious. If new people showed up, a new bunch of victims, you had to get your friend out of town so they could work. But most importantly, if your friend did find out their secret, you had to be prepared for how the brothers would have to handle it.

So, your friend came to stay with you for a few days.

Your friend greeted you with a hug, saying it was good to see you.

You introduced him to Bo and he was polite. Bo knew how to put on that charming and polite persona.

Your friend never meets Vincent, he stays away from you all. He might meet Lester once or twice if he drops by for something. But mostly, it is just the three of you.

Bo knows when somebody is flirting and he can see it in your friend straight away. He knows that your friend has come here with the intention to convince you that he would be the better option for you.

And he just can’t let that fly.

When you’re talking to your friend, Bo will come up to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him. Telling you that he’s going down to the garage and he’ll be back soon, giving you a kiss that is a little less than decent before pulling away and heading out.

It’s like Bo knows when your friend is about to walk into the room, and he always makes sure that when they step into the room, he has you in his arms or in a slightly compromising position. Just to drive the message home. You’re taken.

Bo really does like rubbing your relationship in your friend’s face when he realises that he has feelings for you.

He can deal with it when it’s just little things, just a bit of flirting that you don’t reciprocate. Bo can handle that and even play with it, like he is doing.

But if your friend gets a little too close, he doesn’t like that at all.

If your friend is handsy, there will be threats made when you aren’t in the room.

But all in all, the visit goes well.

That is, until your friend crosses the line way too much.

He thought Bo would be down at the garage, that the two of you would be alone for a while.

That’s when he started talking about how you shouldn’t be spending your life in such a little town in the middle of nowhere. You should go home with him, back to where you grew up. He’d start talking a little bad about Bo, and now you’re questioning his intentions of coming here.

You tell him that he’s wrong, that you’re happy here but appreciate his concern.

But he is persistent. So, he cups your face in his hands and kisses you, just as Bo walks into the room.

You push your friend away, too shocked to formulate a sentence or a question. 

Bo saw what happened and he can see that you hadn’t expected the kiss. He’s seeing red but even he can see that you aren’t to blame here.

It doesn’t matter how long your friend had been planning on staying, it’s time for him to leave.

Bo orders him to get his things and leave, though he probably adds a threat to that.

You know that it’s for the best. If your friend doesn’t leave, he just might get himself killed.

Just before your friend leaves, you make sure to tell him that he had no right to act the way he did. You’re happy in Ambrose and you’re in love with Bo, he isn’t going to change that. 

Bo is giving him a smug ass look from behind you.

You and Bo watch him leave the town, knowing that Lester will make sure he actually leaves and doesn’t end up stumbling upon anything that would put him in danger.

Once the car is out of sight, you and Bo head back into the house. Where Bo lets out the tension he was holding on to.

All he wanted to do when he saw that man kissing you was kill him but he held himself back to not upset you, even if he didn’t deserve it.

But now he’s ranting about the audacity of that man. How dare he think he can come into his home and try to steal you away from him? He’s lucky that he didn’t kill him.

Best thing to do is just grab him but the collar and pull him down into a passionate kiss. Reminding him that you were here with him, that you chose him, that you want him.

That pretty much does it. But he will pick you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, before carrying you back to the bedroom. Reminding you who your man is.

[tryingmydarndest]

Thank You (Luka Couffaine x Reader)

Summary (Part 1/probably 3): The author goes on a bit of a tangent about how Y/N goes on a bit of a tangent about Viperion. Who may just have a little, big ol' crush on them?

Tags: -not enough actual relationship -fluff -but like, a weird sprinkling of angst that I didn't plan on right at the end???

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Inspired by this fic by @seriously-sirius-black <3. Luka? OOC? Idk, probably, I don’t write fanfic. But I am actually kinda proud of how well Alya turned out. Writing this made me realize how much of a mom friend I apparently headcanon her as. I wrote this gender-and-as-everything-else-neutral as I can make it (lemme know if you see ways I can improve, tho idk how much more fanfic I'll even be writing). Also, I freakin' RAMBLE and overuse italics, but ya get what ya get and ya don't gotta fret. Ooh, important note for future parts (if i write them) - this is a kinda!au where the miraculous users keep their miraculous. also if I had a nickel for every time I get awkwardly specific about the placement of both of a character’s hands I’d have TWO nickels. Happy reading!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part I - Paris's Cutiest Heroes

The look currently on Marinette’s face as she sputtered out a response was priceless, “Cat Noir? Cat Noir!? What makes you think I’d find Cat Noir attractive at all? And- and- HIM- the cutest superhero! Ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“Nice one, Alya”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” you gave Alya a high five on your way to your seat next to Juleka and Rose on the couch facing Marinette and Alya. A sunny Friday after school was the perfect place for Kitty Section and their entourage to hang out. Unfortunately without Ivan and Mylène, seeing as their anniversary called for a private celebration. After pushing a couple couches onto the deck of The Liberty, Alya had predictably started talking about Paris's resident hero team. Today, she chose to ask everyone who they deemed the cutest, and she made sure to jump on Marinette's... interesting response, “And girl, he has the same silky golden hair and dreamy emerald eyes as Adrien Agreste. What’s utterly ridiculous is you freaking out and dodging every time we bring up superheroes!”

The designated snack-boy, Luka, walked out precariously carrying three bowls of goodies for everyone, “Alright, I got more popcorn. Sorry, but looks like we’re out of cheese flavoring, Y/N”

“Oh... that’s fine. I honestly wasn’t expecting it since I forgot to ask,” your free hand not reaching for the bowl rubbed the back of your neck, “but thanks for remembering.”

“Oh, um yeah- Always," is it creepy to remember something so specific? Someone as nice as Y/N wouldn't be interested in some creep. Ugh. Luka took a seat with his own bowl after passing Alya and Marinette theirs. He ended up next to you on the floor, leaning against the arm of the couch, dangerously close to touching your legs.

Rose reached for the popcorn as she interjected, “You know, Alya does have a point. So Marinette, why don’t you just tell us who you think the cutest superhero is, if you don’t like us guessing?”

Somehow Marinette’s face went even paler as she spoke, “What- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t thought- Wha- what about Y/N? Why aren’t you interrogating them?”

Alya crossed her arms, “Because Y/N says the same thing about the same hero every day. Just watch. Ahem, Y/N, care to weigh in on the cuteness level of our lovely Parisian superheroes?”

You looked up from the bowl you had stolen back from Rose with wide eyes, "Hey! Okay, no, that is not fair! Besides, what is our criteria for 'cute'? I mean... Are we going just by physical characteristics? Is costume a factor? What about the animal they're representing, could our opinion of that make this whole thing unfair? And cuteness is so subjective anyway... Why are we even reducing these amazing and honorable superheroes to just their looks? I mean we could be talking about skill, or their powers or power lev-"

"-And your answer would be exactly the same. Seriously, are you done trying- and might I add, failing- to talk yourself out of this one yet? Or should I just read the article you wrote for the Ladyblog?"

"You said you deleted that!"

Luka had perked his head up at your initial fumbling response and turned to you when he spoke, "You wrote an article? That's pretty cool."

You rubbed your face to try and distract yourself from the burning embarrassment, "Umm, yeah. But it was terrible and extremely not. worth. publishing." You hoped the glare you sent the girl in question was enough to scare her into deleting it on the spot, or to at least lie about it, "So Alya kindly deleted it, right?"

Sitting up with a smug look and crossed arms severely lowered your faith that she'd keep quiet. "A good journalist archives everything. Especially something as juicy as one of her besties going on for five thousand words about how dreamy the great Viperion is," dramatically fake-fainting into Marinette's lap, Alya could barely finish before bursting out in laughter. Of course, quickly followed by the others joining in to varying degrees. Juleka and Rose happily giggled to themselves, Marinette looked more relieved that the heat was off her, and Luka seemed to be shocked, or maybe just holding back to see how you were taking this.

Horribly. Horribly embarrassed would describe how you were taking this conversation. You sat there stock-still as you hoped that none of the others could hear your heart's desperate attempts to pound its way out of your chest. That's certainly all you could hear, at least until Alya's voice brought you out of it, "Hey, it's fine," she made her way over to sit next to you as she continued, "We all have our little hero crushes. That's why I bring it up all the time, to show you that it's totally normal! I mean, we all know how I could go on about Carapace for days," Alya gestured for the others to continue, and used her other hand to try and comfort you.

"Well, I find Ladybug to be just absolutely adorable and so kind.... oh it just makes me so happy knowing she's keeping all of Paris safe," Rose added softly.

Juleka brushed a strand of hair aside as she spoke, "Rena Rouge is super mysterious, pretty rad in my opinion."

Alya was rubbing your back like the mom friend she is to try and help encourage you, "See? Super normal, so go ahead and release all this pent up Viperion energy that I know you have. Maybe it'll encourage Marinette here to finally join in the fun!" Alya stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who responded promptly by smashing her face into a pillow.

You just sighed, "I mean- it’s- it can't just-'' were you supposed to just get over it all just like that? Well, at least the embarrassment was wearing off, maybe you could just entertain her for a bit, "Well- um, you see.... HisHairJustLooksReallySoftAnd- you know what. Nope. Can't do anymore of this. Yep- that's all you're getting out of me!" This time when everyone started giggling, you were able to comfortably join them. It was a nice feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A nice evening chilling out with your friends was always welcome, especially with the rising number of akumatizations making that less possible. But the night had come to a close. Alya and Marinette went home, Juleka was walking Rose back herself, and Luka and you had volunteered to clean up. Luka stopped drying the cup in his hand for a minute as he looked at you, “Um, I know it might not be my place, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about the whole... Viperion thing.” God, how am I supposed to take the news that MY crush has a crush on.... Sort of me? Am I supposed to count it as me at all?

“Oh, um. Yeah, thanks. I think I’m over the embarrassment now that it’s out. I don’t know, it’s just that a lot of people think it’s weird since he’s kind of a new hero,” how are you supposed to explain this to him? That you kept such a non-issue secret from him, especially without getting suspiciously defensive about it. “And then people use that to try and say that I only like him for his looks..... And that’s not it! I don’t know, it’s kind of.... A lot? To explain, that is.” This was not going well.

“Oh... Well, what is it? That you like about him, I guess.”

This was so not going well. But he was waiting for a response so... “Uh, well I guess it did kinda start..... that way.... but then I started doing research. I learned about his power and saw videos of his fights. He’s really good! Especially for being so new, which kinda goes into why his power makes me like him so much.” Shit. Rambling, I’m just talking and talking and I need to stop. But how am I supposed to change the subject now? And now Luka’s sitting down, and he seems so invested. Why does this have to happen to me?

“What do you mean by that?”

Luka’s voice kindly shuts your little thought-spiral in its tracks. What were you saying? Oh, Viperion’s powers! You can talk about this, you know this. Just keep talking, at least he seems interested in it, “Well, you know how he can go back and redo the last couple of minutes?” Luka nodded, “Well, we always see the time that worked out. Us civilians get to keep going from the one time it all went right. Just imagine all the times he failed, all the times he couldn’t get it right. It could be dozens, maybe even hundreds of times! He must get so discouraged at some point, I mean I know I would.... I guess I didn’t really think about it at first, but.... but, I doubt I could keep that determination, and I’m so glad Paris has a hero who can, and does.”

Silence. Why was it so quiet? Oh no, he thinks I’m weird. He must think-

“All of this from ‘his hair looks soft’?”

“Hey! You can’t tell me not to be embarrassed, then make fun of me! That’s against the rules!”

Luka chuckled as he said, “Against what rules, exactly?”

“The Rules Of Best Friendship, duh!”

“And who exactly said you were my best friend?”

“Well... your loss, I guess. Now you won’t get an invitation when I plan Rose and Juleka’s wedding,” you brushed off his offended glare as you took the seat next to him.

“She’s my sister.”

“She’d take my side.”

I’d take your side, too. I will always take your side. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

A/N the sequel: I am super bad at finishing things, but I really wanna keep motivated to finish this (like I have a full, probably 3 part, plan for this). If you guys want to help, shoot me a message and I'll send you a link to the google doc I'm writing this on. Feel free to leave a little comment (pls be kind, obviously) and see my writing process! Idk, would any of you guys be interested in that? Would you just get annoyed at having already read the thing before I post it?

[tf2-hellhole]

hello! I hope this hasn't been requested before but, can you write some lovesick headcanons for the mercs? i'm talking totally head over heels, just absolutely immobilized by their feelings type of lovesick. How would they handle themselves? thank you so much ><

Sorry I wrote a whole essay lmao. I assumed that the the reader and the merc are already together in this. Also sorry, I didn’t really know how to write lovesick mercs so this kinda just ended up being how their behaviors change once they become lovesick.

Scout:

Is always trying so, so hard to impress you. He always shows off when you’re around; if he’s on the battlefield, he’ll say “Hey toots, watch this!” And will show off his speed or his aim. He’ll always come back and be all, “Damn, it must be amazing having an awesome boyfriend.”

He’s always bringing you food. When he buys food, he’ll offer to share it with you. If you say no, he’ll just shrug and say “Your loss.” He never, ever shares his food with anyone other than who he’s interested in, so as silly as it sounds, sharing his food with you shows he loves you.

He can be a little clingy sometimes, but he tries to cover it up, especially around the other mercs. He always has to come greet you if you show up after being away for more than an hour, usually with an arm slung over your shoulders and sometimes a quick smooch.

He’s always flustered by you giving him affection. Even something like holding his hand or giving him a quick peck on the cheek makes him turn bright red. In private, he’s always trying to get affection from you, and he can’t live without it. He’s always trying to hug, spoon, or cuddle you, every chance he gets.

He becomes a little more protective of you. In public, he’s always ready to tell someone to go screw themselves if they get friendly with you. He won’t hesitate to punch anyone who touches you.

The reason he loves you so much is because you treat him correctly. All of his relationships in the past have been purely sexual, even if he did want a real relationship with the girl. He can’t believe he has someone who loves him and takes care of him and doesn’t demand sex or complain all of the time. Sometimes, he asks himself how he scored someone as amazing as you.

Soldier:

He becomes very protective of you, though he’s not at all restrictive. He allows you to go anywhere or do anything you want and fully trusts you, but he’ll always ask if you’d like him to come with you for protection if he isn’t already coming with you and offers you weapons to defend yourself with.

You’re one of the only people who are allowed to touch his raccoons, the others being Demo and Engie. He doesn’t trust most people with his raccoons believing they’ll try to take or eat his pets, but he completely trusts you with them. He’ll often ask if you’d like to hold or feed one. Surprisingly, the raccoons are completely docile around you and act like weird, mute dogs. The raccoons hate everyone else, including Soldier. Highkey cries when he sees how well his raccoons behave with you.

He trusts you to know that he was never actually in the military. When he tells you, you know he trusts you more than anyone on the planet and he’s at the point where he would absolutely take bullets for you without any hesitation.

You’re the only person who can get him to behave. Usually, he won’t listen to anyone except Ms. Pauling, and even for her, he won’t do anything he doesn’t like unless he absolutely has to. But for you, he’d do anything without hesitation. That doesn’t mean he won’t voice his opinions if he doesn’t like what you’re telling him to do.

The reason he loves you so much is that you accept his strange behaviors. Most people are rude to him and often make fun of him, even to his face. But you treat him normally, while accommodating his eccentricities. Even though he won’t say it, he appreciates that you respect his strange interests and behaviors and still love him.

Pyro:

Pyro wants to spend tons of time with you. They want to show you their newest crafts and creations and do all sorts of fun things together. It gets to the point that they can be a little clingy, but if you explain how you feel about it, they’ll quickly back off with no hard feelings.

You get lots of hugs, cuddles, and nuzzles. Pyro loves to receive and give physical affection, so it’s often how they show how much they love you. Quick hugs and nuzzles are often how Pyro greets you, often accompanied with tons of giggling. They also love to cuddle with you when the two of you have any free time.

Whenever Pyro makes any treats (they love baking and making candy), you’re always the first person who gets to taste it. The first few times they tasted horrendous, but after a little while Pyro got really good at making it. Scout always tries to get the first taste, but Pyro is always there to slap his hand away and scold him, even when he sneaks into the kitchen.

Pyro gives you tons and tons of gifts. They’re often drawings of you two together, and the aforementioned sweets. Though of course, due to their hallucinations, gifts sometimes are something freaky like an arm. But most of the time, they’re very sweet gifts accompanied with a quick hug or kiss if their mask is off.

The reason they love you so deeply is the same reason Soldier loves his S/O; because you treat Pyro as normal, while taking care of all of Pyro’s eccentricities and problems. You don’t treat Pyro like they’re just a scary maniac, you treat them like a person. But, you also don’t discourage Pyro’s stranger behaviors. You just accept them just how they are and they deeply appreciate that.

Demo:

He’s a very physically affectionate man, so hugs and kisses are a regular thing, especially as a greeting, but he’s never clingy or physically demanding. He loves to kiss your cheeks or temples or put a arm around your waist, but most of the time he just holds your hand. If he’s been away from you for more than a day, he always excitedly greets you by wrapping you in a bear hug and giving you a big kiss.

He looooooves going to new places or adventuring with you. He’d love to take you back to Scotland and show you his favorite places and some national events, but he’d equally love to go to where you’re from, even if the place you’re from is near or in Scotland. If your culture means a lot to you, he’d love for you to tell him about it, and he could listen to you for hours. He’s mentally taking notes of your favorite parts of the culture, such as events or food, so he can do something for you.

You discover that he’s actually a very supportive person and an excellent listener. If you ever need to rant about something making you upset, he’ll pull you onto his lap and ask you to tell him about it. He’s actually pretty good at giving you advice.

The reason you mean so much to him is because you’re his rock. He’s a man who’s always had to deal with his demons by himself. However, he was too weak to fight them, which is why he turned to alcohol. But you supported him, spoke to him about his problems, and encouraged him. You were able to make him feel better about his mistakes and his appearance. You’re even the reason he cuts back on drinking (he doesn’t stop, but he’s no longer drunk 100% of the time). The fact that you care about his emotions and well-being when no one else did always gets him a little emotional.

Heavy:

Even though he obviously doesn’t see you as a sibling, he can’t help but activate his protective big bro instinct. He always discourages you from doing anything risky or dangerous, and will focus a lot more on protecting you, especially if you’re a fellow merc. He prefers for you at least to be in the same room as him so he can watch over you. But he still respects your independence and doesn’t tell you not to go somewhere unless he’s 100% convinced there’s a real danger.

Every once in a while, he likes to make food from his homeland/childhood, though he shares it with nobody, not even Medic unless he’s in a really good mood. But he always asks you to taste his latest meal. It’s not often you see him so happy, but he loves sharing something that means so much to him with you. He’s beaming if you completely clear your plate or bowl.

You are the only other person allowed to touch his guns. You were actually surprised by this. You aren’t allowed to USE his guns, but he doesn’t have a problem with you touching them. He makes sure to watch carefully when you do, though, so you don’t damage it accidentally.

He loves you so much because of the emotional intimacy and trust you share. Trust is something he values deeply, and he doesn’t give his trust easily. But you were kind and honest and obviously trusted him, so he began to trust you. Once you two started dating, he opened up more about all the horrible things he’s been through, and instead of being disgusted by his actions, you said you were sorry he’s suffered so much. The fact that the world, which he always knew was cold and unforgiving, had produced someone so forgiving and kind like you, always has and always will baffle him.

Engie:

He loves to take you on cute domestic dates. This was already the case when you two were still only dating, but he amped it up once he really fell in love. He’ll spend more time away from the lab so he can spend more time with you. He loves little dates like cuddling up with a movie, making dinner together, or going into a nicer town for a walk in the park. He especially loves to bring you little gifts for a date, which usually is something sweet, cute, and simple like a bouquet, even if you’re super masculine.

You’re the only person other than Medic that he trusts around his sentries or his lab. Of course, he doesn’t allow you to work on them, even if you’re also an engineer, as he doesn’t want the sentry to be damaged or you to get hurt. But if you promise to be careful, you’ll be allowed in while he’s there with you.

When you two were only dating, he had a couple little nicknames for you, like Sweetheart. But now he lays on as many as he can think of, and of course they all sound amazing in his cute accent. He loves to use nicknames like Sugar, Honeybee, Darlin’, Baby, and Cutie/Handsome/Gorgeous, and that’s only a fraction of the nicknames he uses for you. He doesn’t hesitate to use them in front of others, too.

Engie doesn’t love you for any particularly deep or significant reason; he just loves your personality, your mannerisms, and your beliefs. He’s a man who lives for the domestic part of a relationship, so he tends to feel hopelessly in love when you two spend time together like he’s a normal man, not a full-time mercenary. He just loves having you in his life, and with the life he lives he’s honestly surprised he was able to find himself with someone like you, even if you’re a fellow merc.

Medic:

He surprises you with how much he cares about you and your feelings. To everyone else, he’s a very selfish person who only cares about himself and his experiments. And while he was a little more considerate of you when you were only dating, you still acknowledged this in your mind. But after he fell in love, he’s always asking you how you are and cares deeply about how you are feeling, physically and mentally. It honestly really surprised you.

You are the only other person on the whole planet who is allowed to pet Archimedes; he deems you worthy and competent enough. He loves showing his birds to you and having you help him care for them, though he does get a little jealous if his birds steal your attention away from him.

Medic is an attention-seeking baby and loves when you spend time with him or do things with him, but he usually isn’t very demanding unless he’s really stressed and needs comfort. He likes to pull you away to talk to you or ask you to relax with him, and he tends to pout if you say you can’t.

Medic loves you so much because you embrace his eccentricities. He loves that he can do whatever he wants and you don’t care as long as he’s not putting himself in danger (though he sometimes does intentionally, as he loves to be fussed over/given attention). You encourage him and appreciate his enthusiasm, even if you’re grossed out by his unique occupation. But he really loves that you love him despite how weird he can be. He can sit with you and tell you about his latest experiment or talk with Archimedes and you’ll just watch or listen like he’s completely normal. He loves not being treated like he’s nuts or creepy.

Sniper:

He starts to really open up about the impact all of the bad events in his life has put on him. He’ll ask if you’re comfortable with him sharing about it, and if you say yes, he’ll sit you down and tell you about everything he’s been through. A lot of bottled up emotion comes out and he needs a lot of hugging, cuddling, kind words, and kisses. Once he opens up about this, you know that this man would trust you with his life without question.

He becomes a little needy when it comes to physical affection. It doesn’t show in public, so it’s not annoying, but has to be touching you most of the time when you’re alone with him. He loves hugging you from behind and burying his face in your neck, or pulling you onto his lap to press a deep kiss to your lips, but he also lives for all of the smaller touches, like handholding or pecks on the cheek. He’s always been touch-starved, so having you to cuddle close to whenever he needs touch is amazing for him. You’re like a security blanket for him sometimes.

He’ll want to take you out to explore with him. He already did when you two were just dating, but now he wants to show you the places he really loves or mean a lot to him, like places his parents took him. He’ll spend a little while telling you about the things he did with his parents, but he spends most of the time trying to create new memories with you.

Sniper cares so deeply about you because you treat him with kindness. This man has had such a harsh, pain-filled life that he was certain he’d never by truly happy. Just like Heavy, he thought the world was cruel and cold, so he was surprised to find a person who so genuinely cared about him and wanted to make him happy. He’s so grateful to have someone so good in his life, and he’d do anything for you.

Spy:

He starts to like your more personal, domestic moments together. When you two were only dating, he preferred extravagant and expensive dates, as he was trying to impress you. But he started to realize he loved when you’d just spend time together like a normal couple, like cuddling up with a movie or making food together. It allowed him to relax and focus more on sharing an intimate moment with you rather than impressing you. It let him be more himself rather than the fake personality he’s created, and it makes him realize how exhausted he is with acting this way. Any moment when he can chill, be himself, and spend time with you is always his favorite moment of the day.

As weird as it sounds, his compliments change. At first his compliments are exactly what you’d expect from a Casanova like him. Very smooth but expected compliments about how lovely you look, often accompanied with a kiss on the hand. But once he’s truly in love with you, his compliments are much more heartfelt. He compliments all the things he truly loves about you, like maybe the colors of your eyes or the feeling of your hair. They always come with a warm smile rather than a confident smirk, and often a kiss on the cheek or forehead too. He always looks at you like you’re the most beautiful and amazing thing in the world.

It takes a lot to get Spy to be head over heels. But, it can be done if he begins to trust you and you show him you completely trust him with personal stuff like your origin or your feelings. It’s that mutual trust (or at least the beginning of it) that makes him fall in love with you, and actually completely and fully trust you. After that, he’d be willing to give up his identity, his reputation, or even his life for you.

[bonjour-rainycity]

Late in the Night | Part One

Prompt: Unrequited love/the love is requited, they’re just oblivious (Content Challenge Day 5)

Pairing: One-sided ( or is it ;) ) Female Reader x Legolas

Rating: G

Word count: 1847

Warnings: None

Challenge participants: @game-ofthe-company @grunid @themerriweathermage @errruvande @the-reformed-ringwraith @awkwardkindatries

A/n Hello hello, and happy Day 5 of my content challenge! As always, you can find the challenge’s masterlist here and my personal masterlist here. 

I’m making these last three days into a mini-series, so here’s part one! Also, for this story, I’m going with the “girl wakes up in Middle Earth” plot, but LOTR doesn’t exist in her world. So she doesn’t know anything about the characters or their journey. She just kind of fell through a portal between worlds. Y’know?

Translations (I think): Taur-e-Ndaedelos — Mirkwood // Eryn Galen — Greenwood

Reader’s POV

“And Miss Y/n, what will you do once this is all over? Will you go back home?” Pippin stops to let me catch up, bringing me into step with him and Merry.

I purse my lips, not wanting to give too much away. The others know that I have a bit of an, erm—strange— situation, but they don’t know that I haven’t got a home in Arda. We’ve had at least ten variants of this conversation already, and each time, I’ve managed to avoid participating. It seems my hobbit friend, though, is done letting that slide.

I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant. “I haven’t really thought about that much…” Just in case there’s no ‘once this is all over’. “But I guess I would find a human town somewhere and build a life. I’ve learned quite a lot on this journey, so maybe I could make a living as a guard or even a seamstress, seeing how often I mend your clothes,” at this, I throw a teasing look at Gimli, who blushes. Out of all of us, he’s the most prone to non-battle related injury, and I often find him trudging back to camp with a rip in his sleeve after simple tasks like collecting firewood or refilling his canteen.

Pippin ignores my joke, and now I realize that I have the concern-laden eyes of all four hobbits. “You…would not go back home? You wouldn’t see your family?”

I sigh, avoiding Gandalf’s gaze. He said I was free to tell my companions that I am not of this world, but I haven’t yet worked up the nerve. The stress of figuring out how I got here, why I’m here…it’s too much to burden them with on this perilous quest. I stifle a little laugh, my exhausted mind finding humor in the situation. Maybe that’s what I’ll do ‘once all this is over’. I’ll tell them that I’m practically an alien.  

Lost in my thoughts as I was, my silence drew the attention of Gimli and Boromir, and now I have six sets of concerned eyes regarding me. Great. I try to speed the conversation along so we can get to someone else. “Well, I haven’t seen my family in quite a long time…I think they think I’m dead, actually, and for all I know, they could be too…” This thought troubles me greatly, and I hurry to replace it with something else, forcing my voice to sound cheery and hopeful.“But that only means that I’m free to go anywhere—explore any place I like.”

Pippin looks quite heartbroken at my words, and I scramble to think of ways to fix it. But before I can, he grips my hand tightly in his, and I feel Merry mirror his actions on my other side. They look up at me triumphantly, smiling brightly. “You can come live with us, in The Shire,” Pippin declares, to which Sam nods earnestly. Frodo, as always of late, seems distracted, but offers me a distant smile.

A laugh of shocked joy escapes my lips, and I look between my valiant hobbit friends with possibly even more affection than before. “Do they even allow that? Big Folks moving into The Shire?”

“Sure they do,” Merry brushes away my concerns, appearing quite assured of himself.

But Pippin only shrugs, seemingly having not a care in the world. “And if they don’t, we’ll just sneak you in.”

“Gondor would be happy to host you as well,” Boromir adds, surprising me a little. We haven’t talked much on this journey, so it’s nice to know that he sees me as enough of a friend to invite me to his home.

Feeling much better, I squeeze Merry and Pippin’s hands. “Thanks, you guys. Really.”

{***}

We stop when it gets too dark for most of us to see.

“We are too far from Rivendell’s borders for me to feel comfortable.” Aragorn shakes his head slowly as he considers our surroundings and the potential risk we face. “I would ask that we keep a double watch tonight, and for many nights to come. Y/n, Legolas?”

Legolas—the only one of us who seems to have an endless supply of energy—jogs to a tall rock a couple hundred meters from camp, and begins to climb. I’m a bit slower to follow.

In the past three weeks, Aragorn has put me on watch eight times, the most only after himself and Legolas, and definitely more than our other companions. Sam shoots me an apologetic look and quietly promises to bring us dinner as soon as it’s ready.

I grab my cloak and follow Legolas’ path, trying to keep my annoyance to a minimum. After all, it’s not the worst thing in the world…staying up most of the night with Legolas, just the two of us.

He hears me coming and turns around with a welcoming smile, lowering a hand to help pull me onto the boulder. His hand is so warm in mine, so solid, and I find myself wishing he wouldn’t let go.

But of course he does, taking his hand from mine the moment I’m settled next to him. I tuck my hands into my cloak, trying not to lament the loss. Regardless of my quickly-growing feelings towards my elven friend, he has never given me an indication that he sees me as anything more than that, a friend, and I need to respect that.

He fixes me with a raised eyebrow, somehow both looking at me and the landscape over my shoulder. “Are you alright with staying awake tonight? It has been a while since you slept fully.”

I freeze, caught in a sudden burst of happiness. He noticed that? Has he been paying attention to me?

Legolas continues, and the fledgling hope that perhaps my affections for him aren’t as one-sided as I thought comes crashing down. “I could speak to Aragorn. It is no issue for me to stand watch alone.”

I briefly close my eyes, berating myself for my stupidity. He’s not commenting on your well-being, he just doesn’t want to have to be alone with you for the next five hours. He must somehow know of your feelings and wants to discourage them — because really, why would an elf want to be with a human?

I purse my lips, desperately not wanting him to know I’m upset. “No, it’s okay, thank you though. I’ll do my part.” My words come out a bit more cooly than I intended, but that’s just as well. Best to seem unattached.

He nods, giving me a funny look, then turns to look back out on the vast expanse of trees.

Nearly an hour passes in silence, then Sam visits, bringing dinner with him. Aragorn had managed to find two rabbits, so we eat well tonight. I savor it, knowing we might not be so lucky tomorrow, or the day after next. As usual, Legolas chooses to eat standing, not willing to sacrifice his careful watch over our surroundings. Knowing he’s got it covered, I sit down on the rock with Sam, having a make-shift picnic. Still, I keep my daggers close and periodically take note of the sounds of the forest, just in case. Sam entertains us with stories from his childhood and of life in The Shire. At a tale of how he and Frodo found themselves running from a furious farmer in the middle of the night, even Legolas cracks a smile.

But eventually, the food is gone and Sam is stifling yawns, so he bids us goodnight, leaving me alone with Legolas once again.

I stand, brushing the dust off my leggings, and take my place next to him.

His eyes never leave the horizon, but I hear his voice, soft, quiet, and almost hesitant-sounding. “Is it true that you haven’t a home to return to?”

I’m a bit caught off guard. During that conversation earlier in the day, Legolas was all the way at the front the group, leading with Aragorn. I didn’t know he’d heard that. “Uh, yeah.” I nod, trying to project a confidence I don’t really feel. “It is.”

He goes silent, and stays silent for such a long time that I think that’s all the conversation we’ll have. But then, he speaks again, his voice steady and deliberate. “My home, Taur-e-Ndaedelos, is not safe right now.”

“Oh.” I blink. Is he opening up to me? I try to respond delicately, not wanting to accidentally discourage him from sharing his feelings in the future. “I am sorry. That must be very difficult.”

He waves off my apology, meeting my eyes for the quickest of moments and then turning once more to the landscape before us. “My people get by. I only meant that, perhaps…well, if we succeed, and the Great Evil is defeated, Taur-e-Ndaedelos will be safe, and might even be called Eryn Galen once more.” He shifts from one foot to the other, something I’ve never seen him do. “You would be welcome there.”

A smile—the widest one I’ve managed in a while—spreads over my face, and try as I might, I am unable to reel it in. Because even after all this is over, when the time would come naturally for us to part ways, he wants me still in his life. I’ve always figured that it would hurt me to be parted from him, but I never dreamed that he would feel the same way.

Legolas seems to grow agitated by my silence, and turns to look at me with a measure of stress in his brow. But once he sees my reaction to his words, the lines in his face soften into a grin of his own. “Gimli is similarly without a permanent dwelling. I have extended an invitation to him as well.”

Oh.

Of course.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at myself, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course I would read into his words. He didn’t mean anything significant by them, he was just offering me a place to stay, like he obviously would to any of his friends. Because he is a kind, good, and noble ellon.

Of course he doesn’t feel the same way as I do.

I was silly to hope.

I try to keep the smile plastered to my face and not let him see my crushing disappointment. That would be horribly embarrassing, and I’m not sure I could take the pity that would surely be on his compassionate face if he had to verbally express his disinterest.

“That—” my voice sounds annoyingly weak, and I clear my throat to correct it. “That’s really kind of you, Legolas. Thank you.”

There’s a question in his eyes, but he doesn’t ask it, only nods once and returns to his watch of the forest.

For my part, I try to turn all of my focus to the task at hand, reminding myself that, even if he never loves me back, I am truly lucky to have such a wonderful friend.

A/n See you all tomorrow with part two! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Also, let me know if you would like a tag.

Masterlist

Next part

[gravesightings]

Sure I can!!! Sorry for not giving details, I always do this 🤦🏻‍♂️! I actually had to google the meaning because english isn't my first language and in every site meant something different (with some similarities ofc), so i don't even know if dork is the word. But it's a silly s/o, who behaves slightly awkward, laughs of dumb or stupid things and tend to make jokes that only dads do, still they like being like this and love the feeling their personality cause in others.

hey, it’s no problem! thank you for elaborating. I appreciate it! 💞

slashers with a silly/dorky s/o.

Asa Emory / The Collector

socially awkward? same hat!

seeing someone slightly a bit more socially inept than him would cause him to take charge of the situation. awkward silence who?

paranoid as usual. what if someone happens to take advantage of you? he simply cannot have that. here, keep one of his dogs with you at all times.

big fan of the dad jokes so you might actually hear him laugh! but he’ll quickly try to brush it off and act like nothing happened.

tolerant of your antics as long as you don’t hurt yourself. if you’re observant enough you might catch him trying not to smile at you.

Billy Lenz

sweet piggy, silly piggy! billyboy is also a big fan!

billy doesn’t catch certain social cues so it’s as if you’re never awkward to begin with.

while he thinks some of your jokes aren’t that funny, he’ll laugh anyways! that’s how much he loves you, see?

pretty straightforward. that includes both complimenting you and some of his other interesting comments. haha you’re weird and your jokes are for old people! he likes that!

naturally joins you when he sees you laughing at something dumb. do you like victim people-watching? snicker along with him when a victim does something embarrassing in private.

Bo Sinclair

bo definitely thinks it’s cute! you remind him of vincent in a way except you’re actually funny.

catch him full-on belly laughing at your dad jokes. turns out he has the exact same type of humor! he only stopped making jokes because his brothers think he’s not funny.

now that he has you around, you’re both busting dad jokes and un-funny puns.

a little awkward with him? that’s alright. a hard smack on the back will do the trick. bo’s quite the charmer so he’ll have you comfy with him in no time.

the type to tell you up-front that you’re a little weird but “in a good way.”

Brahms Heelshire

this recluse wouldn’t have a damn clue if you happen to be slightly weird. there’s no socializing to be done in the walls, after all.

just thinks you’re shy and maybe a little odd? but he has manners! and he knows not to call you that out loud. he’s a good boy, you see.

the jokes are ....not very funny to him... but he’s not gonna say that either! you know why? that’s right! because he’s a good boy.

might give you a pity laugh from time to time because otherwise he feels bad.

but! brahmsy’s very on-board with laughing at dumb things. invites you to sit with him by the window and points out a rat rolling around in the garden. oh! there it goes!

Bubba Sawyer

you’re so cute!!! bubby makes sure to “compliment” you a lot by babbling at you softly and petting your head at the same time.

unfortunately he’s a little slow when it comes to the jokes so he can’t appreciate them as much...

honestly it’s hard to tell if he’s into it or not because bubba’s always smiling around you anyways. did he get one of your jokes or is he just happy to spend time with you? who knows.

you know who would appreciate the jokes and the antics though? choptop and nubbins.

drayton’s lifespan would be halved. he’s already got his hands full with the two troublemakers, and now you too?

Jason Voorhees

jason thinks you’re positively adorable! expect frequent head pats from this man.

like asa, he’s a bit of a paranoid so he makes sure to always keep an eye on you. you’re too sweet for this world and bad people might hurt you for it!

also a fan of the dad jokes! “hey jason, what’s a fish with no eye? ...a fsh.” cue muffled chuckling. gives you a thumbs up - jason’s seal of approval.

because big boy is a sweetheart, he’ll fake a laugh even if he doesn’t find it funny. also he’s given a thumbs up to all your jokes. all of them.

not one to laugh at dumb things but cares about you enough to want to know about it. tree stump shaped like a butt? hm you’re right. why are you laughing? ? how is it funny???

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

jesse also thinks it’s cute but in a condescending way.

“hey jesse, what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? ....sneakers!” deep sigh.

like the true gentleman he is, he would never leave you hanging no matter how bad your jokes are. mostly he’ll just shake his head and give an exaggerated sigh.

once he had pulled out his knife and handed it to you, asking you to “please end his misery,” after you had told him the impasta joke.

definitely the type to give sarcastic comments such as “please not another one, I’m already dying of laughter,” or “you’re putting other comedians out of business.”

Michael Myers

no reaction as always. just grumpier than usual.

bastard hands mcmike thinks it’s dumb and you’re dumb, so naturally he’s going to follow you wherever you go. y’know, just in case someone decides to abduct you.

completely lost in thought while you’re ripping out all your killer jokes. why are you like this? internally decides he’s going to repeat the process again tomorrow.

thinks it’s a serious problem and if you keep at it, he’s going to get creative. would you behave if he just... throws a sheet over you?

would listen to you sometimes and you’d automatically know by his dramatic sighs.

Thomas Hewitt

tommy’s very socially awkward so he’d probably be more relaxed around you, if anything.

not as generous with pity-laughing but he’ll give you a good pat on the head for effort.

surprisingly sassy? tommy's actually very expressive despite not being able to talk, so more often than not he’s giving you a look that says “you need to get better jokes.”

or sometimes giving you a sarcastic sigh, followed by the rumble of his chest. that doesn’t count! he was laughing at the situation, not at your joke!

it’s hard to make the big man laugh so don’t get too discouraged. however, he does find it difficult not smile at you every time you try.

Vincent Sinclair

oh.. honey, no. vincent’s too nice for his own good so he’d be overly supportive of anything and everything you do.

dad jokes? groan. but if you’re the one making them? he’ll make the effort to chuckle, at the very least. (bo complaining in the background about how vinny doesn’t laugh at his jokes.)

can’t help but find it oddly endearing. this man is a hopeless romantic so he’d be praising you any chance he gets.

his praising method is the same as bubba’s - only vincent hums fondly at you instead of babbling.

it’s not easy to make vincent laugh either but he doesn’t want to discourage you from trying so he’ll just keep faking it and hope you get better.

[youngbeezer]

Do you Believe in Happily Ever After? | Joel Farabee

A/N: Hello again! I got such a great response to my first fic I posted which literally made me so happy, so thank you so much to anyone who gave me the time of their day to read my fic. Here is a new fic for mr. joel farabee!! This one is a little longer and I tried my best, feedback always appreciated, but I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: Few curse words, overall just fluff

Word Count: 2160

Tagging a few people again so this doesn’t flop,,,

@ollywahlygator @joshsandersons @joelsfarabees @fratboyzegras @sorokns @butgilinsky @ricohenrique

I haven’t been to too many weddings in my life. I attended one for my uncle when I was around 10 years old but I don’t remember much from it. My mother also got remarried around 3 years ago, but up until this year, weddings weren’t a natural occurrence in my life. 

This past year though.. I’ve attended two weddings, got an invitation in the mail today for another one, a close friend of mine just recently got engaged (so that invitation will be coming sometime in the near future), and one of my best friends’ wedding is tomorrow. Now I feel like everywhere I look, I am surrounded by love. 

Now I’m not saying that is a bad thing, but when every one of your friends are either having kids, getting married, or in serious relationships, it starts to feel a little discouraging. Is there something wrong with me? Am I the reason why I’m still single?-- No, I refuse to think like that! I could get a boyfriend if I wanted to. Maybe my friends are right though… Maybe I’m not putting myself out there enough. 

Anyway, one of my best friends, Karly, is getting married to her long-time boyfriend Travis tomorrow. I’ve met Travis, or as everyone seems to call him ‘TK’, a handful of times and I know he plays for the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team-- which is cool I guess, but other than that I don’t know much about his personal life or who he hangs out with. 

Karly and I met running into each other at a cafe once. Yeah, yeah I know it sounds like one of those cliche romantic meetings, where two people bump into each other and immediately fall in love. I mean we did hit it off almost immediately and from there we became like two peas in a pod-- just not in the way you think. I’ve always wondered though, if maybe I ran into a handsome man at a coffee shop or walking down the street, would I be having my happily ever after right now?

I snap out of my thoughts when an incoming call from- speak of the devil, the bribe to be. Before I can even say my greetings, Karly jumps right into business;

“Ok! So since you weren’t able to come to the dress rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. I’ll give you the rundown on what you need to do.”

Oh yeah, did I mention that I am one of the bridesmaids? Sadly, I was not able to attend the functions before the wedding due to not being able to get time off from work. But, Karly was super cool with it, which brings us to the reason for this call.

“Ok so basically, your dress and everything is already in the bridal suite, so everything will be ready for you when you get here tomorrow. You’ll be walking down the aisle third with one of Travis’ buddies Joel-- he plays on the team with Trav and he’s such a sweet guy he’ll definitely help you out if you need anything.. You know now that I think about it you guys would be such a cute couple-”

“Uh Karly? I don’t think now's the time to play matchmaker, when we should be preparing for your big day tomorrow.” I cut her off. 

“Alright, alright. But I will be coming back to that thought. Ok so anyway--”

After that I kind of zone out from trying to keep up with whatever Karly is spitting at me right now. While still on the phone, I pull out my laptop and search for the name ‘Joel’ with ‘Philadelphia Flyers’ next to it in search of this man who is said to be walking me down the aisle. Right away the name ‘Joel Farabee’ pops up with a wikipedia and multiple photos. Hm this guy is kinda cute. Just as I go to click view more images, Karly’s words register back in my brain;

“Ok y/n, did you get that?”

“Hm.. oh yeah! Got it. What time should I be there tomorrow?” I ask, praying that she didn’t already mention that and realize I wasn’t paying attention. 

“8 AM sharp,” she responds all giddy. 

I suddenly remember that my best friend is actually getting married tomorrow. Feeling giddy as well I reply, “Sounds good. I am so happy for you Karly and I can’t wait to see how beautiful you look tomorrow!” 

Karly does a little shriek in response and reiterates her excitement as well. We then say our goodbyes and I wish her a great last night as an unmarried woman before hanging up. I got back to what I was working on before the call and all my jumbled thoughts entered my brain, totally forgetting about a certain someone named ‘Joel’ as I exited the browser. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning I arrive at 8:17 AM at the wedding venue and as soon as I exit the Uber, I start booking it to the bridal suite. When Karly says to be somewhere at 8 AM sharp, you be there at 8 AM sharp, and I’m not particularly fond of facing her wrath today, especially on her wedding day when stress levels are through the roof. 

There’s just one problem though… Since I wasn’t able to attend the rehearsal, I have no idea where I am going. 

Trying to recall the directions Karly told me on the phone last night (when I wasn’t paying attention), I take a sharp turn around a corner looking the opposite direction and suddenly collide with a dead end. Wait- no that’s not a dead end, it’s a person. 

Immediately going to spit out an apology, I stop dead in my tracks when I make eye contact with the handsome man I bumped into. 

“Oh shit! I am so sorry. Are you alright?” I see his lips moving, which are very nice to look at by the way, but my mind doesn’t register his words as I stare dumbfoundedly at this handsome stranger. Who, now that I think about it, looks a little familiar. 

When I still don’t answer, the familiar stranger clears his throat before giving me a once over of my whole body, which does little to bring me out of my trance. If anything I now start to feel my whole face flush from noticing him obviously checking me out. 

His face then seems to light up in recognition before asking, “Wait, are you y/n?”

When he notices my look of confusion on how he knows my name he continues, “I’m Joel, Joel Farabee.” Scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, I notice a slight blush coating his cheeks before he adds, “We’re paired to walk down the aisle together… Um, also I think Karly is looking for you. She was kind of freaking out a little.”

With that last sentence my whole body comes back to life realizing that I am late and Karly is going to kill me. Hurriedly I exclaim “Oh my gosh! I am so late and I have no idea where the hell I’m going.” I frantically search around for any directions to point me to the bridal suite.

Joel kindly puts his hand on my shoulder, which immediately ignites a fire on the skin he is touching, before he reassures “Hey, you’re good. Just take your first right down this hall and then it will be at the end of the corridor, you can’t miss it. Seriously. She hung up streamers and balloons everywhere with a poster on the door that says ‘Bridal Suite. NO BOYS ALLOWED’.” 

Letting out a soft snort I gently thank Joel before rushing in the direction he pointed me to. Before turning right, I sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find Joel already glancing my way. My heart does a little flutter when we make eye contact and he gives me a little lopsided grin before going on his way. 

What just happened… 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As soon as I walk through the doors of the suite, I am immediately ambushed by the bride to be on why I was late, until she notices the deep blush covering my cheeks, which then prompts another ambush on what made me blush. 

I change the topic as quickly as I can and direct our attention on getting ready for the ceremony. Karly looks absolutely beautiful in her white gown and her hair all dolled up. She doesn’t even seem remotely nervous for today as well. Most weddings I have been to, the bride is always going batshit crazy making sure everything is perfect or worrying that her soon to be husband might back out. That just shows how happy and comfortable Karly and Travis are in their relationship. God, I wonder what it must feel like to have that kind of love that is so solid and healthy. Suddenly my mind starts drifting to what it would be like to have that type of relationship with Joel. 

Oh who am I kidding? I just met the guy. Sure, when his hand touched my shoulder my whole body felt like it was on fire. And yeah, maybe when he gave me that little lopsided grin it gave my entire stomach butterflies. Oh jeez. Today is gonna be a long day… 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ok now I feel like my whole body is going to explode. He is looking at me like I’m now the bride and he is the groom. And suddenly, I’m wishing that were the case. We are getting closer and closer to walking down the aisle together, and every step we take towards one another my stomach does a little flip. 

When we finally reach each other, he offers his arm for me to take as he speaks, “Wow… Uh yeah wow, you look gorgeous.”

Blushing, I respond with a quiet “Thank you.” 

“Guess I was the lucky one eh? In case I end up tripping and making a fool of myself, no one will even be paying attention because all eyes will be on you.” There’s that little lopsided grin of his again. 

“Well aren’t you a sweet talker.” I responded. 

He just gives me a subtle wink before we ascend through the doors and down the aisle where Travis is waiting for the big moment. He gives us both a little smirk before we part ways like he knows something we both don’t. 

…

Eventually Karly walks down the aisle looking like an absolute princess. The officiator says his whole ordeal, Karly and TK both say their vows to one another, there are lots of tears, and Joel and I can’t seem to keep our eyes off of each other. 

After the ceremony, we all head in the direction of the reception hall where the real fun begins. Don’t get me wrong, the wedding was spectacular, the way everyone expected it to be. Now as music filled the air with a giddy sort of elation, the newlyweds looking beautiful and so happy while dancing, friends and relatives chatting between one another about this and that; I can’t help but feel a little bittersweet about it. I want this. I want that giddy elation to be surrounded around me, I want to wear that beautiful white gown, I want the guy to be looking at me like I just hung the moon while we had our first dance. Where’s my happily ever after--

“You know you never properly introduced yourself?” 

Startled, I spun around to find the source. Joel. 

I give him a sweet smile before returning my gaze back to the happy couple and responding, “Y/n y/l/n.” 

He follows my gaze and lets out a little sigh before expressing “They’re perfect for each other, aren’t they?” 

“Yeah, they really are.” Before I can get another word in Joel blurts;

“Do you wanna dance? Like,” He stumbles a little with his words, “like with me?”

Letting out a soft giggle, I happily reply, “I would love to.” 

Seemingly relieved, Joel takes my hand and leads me out onto the dance floor as soon as a slow song comes on. He puts his hands respectively on my waist while I put mine around his neck inching him closer to my body. We dance with each other for a while, even after the song is over and a fast high tempo song blasts through the speakers. It’s like we are lost in each other, just savoring this ‘moment’ together. 

Eventually after the fourth song comes on and we are still dancing, Joel pulls away just a little to look me in the eye before softly whispering “Do you believe in happily ever afters?” 

Seeing that look in his eyes again, the one where it seems like he is looking at me like I just hung the moon? I answer in that same soft whisper, “Yeah… yeah I think I do.”

[shihalyfie]

Neverland, the role of “nostalgia” in Kiuzna’s narrative, and the 02 quartet’s unusual immunity to it

In general, the 02 quartet (my shorthand for the four human characters introduced in 02 who weren’t in Adventure, namely Daisuke, Ken, Miyako, and Iori) have a position in Kizuna that you can call “shockingly favorable” in that they’re kept safely out of the most dangerous parts of the plot in ways the others aren’t. This especially sticks out when we get to the Eosmon incident reaching its climax, when Takeru and Hikari are placed in the same situation as their Adventure seniors, despite the movie and its surrounding media generally portraying them closer in line with the others in the 02 group than the Adventure group.

To be a bit blunt about it, the obvious main reason the story is set up this way is meta -- a lot of the climax’s effectiveness depends on the audience getting sensory impact via recognizing things from the original series (including 02 as well; how convenient it is that all of the international Chosen are in the positions 02 fans would recognize!), and so it’s obvious that said climax would evoke imagery related to the series that was Digimon Adventure, while the 02 quartet would be treated extra-kindly by the narrative due to the need to give them compensatory action screentime given certain real-life events. But just because the originating reason is meta doesn’t mean there isn’t also a story reason for it, especially considering the relevance of 02′s themes in Kizuna’s narrative, and the surrounding circumstances regarding both series.

Before we get into anything else, the first thing that needs to be established is that Menoa and Eosmon’s lure is pretty obviously depicted as working on a subconscious level. This is why everyone else in the narrative agrees that what they did is “kidnapping”, despite her insistence that she’s just doing what they wanted. While they can’t not admit to having moments of weakness, nevertheless, it’s likely that most if not all of the people Menoa kidnapped consciously knew better and had learned better lessons than this a long time ago; if Menoa had consciously offered Neverland to her victims, most of them would have probably said no! But as Daisuke said back in 02 episode 49 -- when he witnessed his own friends being subjected to something similar at the hands of BelialVamdemon -- there’s no sin in having feelings of worries or troubles (and, by extension, irrational feelings in general), and Eosmon’s abilities and Neverland happen to be able to directly target them. In fact, we ourselves got to witness this internal conflict when Menoa made her direct offer to Taichi and Yamato to join Neverland; they briefly considered it because of the circumstances, but were snapped out of it quickly with Agumon and Gabumon’s intervention, and were really, really mad at themselves for considering it shortly after.

We saw the process of how Ayaka became one of the kidnapping victims at the beginning of the movie -- it happened right after she complained that she wasn’t fond of the idea of becoming an adult at this point. So it does lend some truth to the idea that Menoa’s working off something with these cases, and that Eosmon did specifically target people who had those wishes to some degree. Moreover, note carefully how this kidnapping (and some others in the movie) is portrayed; Eosmon doesn’t actually emerge from the device in question (it’s obvious that nobody notices the giant butterfly monster), and the victim’s consciousness and partner are whisked away thanks to being caught by the device camera. In Ayaka’s case, because her phone was sitting on the table, pointed at her. The fact that this is not how the kidnappings are portrayed all the way to the end of the movie is a very significant point.

So let’s talk about Neverland and its construction. The whole thing is based on Menoa’s own very, very warped view of what “happiness” is. This means that Neverland is only an “ideal world” or “utopia” in a way that makes sense to her -- and once you learn the full extent of her backstory, it becomes apparent how she came to the mentality she did, and, more pertinently, how she ended up projecting that on everyone else. Hence, how she came to decide that she knew better and should decide for everyone, because she thinks she gets the right to decide on everyone’s happiness based on her own experiences. (She doesn’t.)

The way Neverland is constructed is that everyone has “their own places” -- their own individual islands that recreate “memories” of everyone being able to be together with their partner, forever. So in other words, it’s not just that everyone’s being turned into children; it’s that they’re being kept in an eternal loop of their best memory and unable to “move forward”.

Here are three very significant parts about this, which will be important to keep in mind as we go deeper into this analysis:

Menoa’s view of this utopia requires people to be separated -- for all she claims this is a utopia where people can play together, she discourages fraternizing and encourages everyone to stay only with their own partners. This is, presumably, to lessen complications with said memories, because what might be one person’s best memory might not be for another, and also because she thinks one person being alone with their partner is happiness enough in itself. As we’ll be seeing later, this is very much not the case for everyone.

A lot of these memories in Neverland -- and Menoa’s own mentality, as we eventually find out -- are heavily dependent on the concept of rose-colored nostalgia, or, that is to say, conveniently omitting or forgetting about all of the bad things about one’s past in order to portray it as such a wonderful thing that nobody should ever move on from. And in the end, that probably applies to real-life childhood in general, too; as much as it’s so often put on a pedestal for being a time when “everything was simpler”, you can also easily argue that it wasn’t actually all sunshine and roses, it’s just that the process of forgetting things or the grass-is-greener phenomenon makes you conveniently forget all of the bad things and frustration that came with it too.

Because the concept of needing to stay in the past forever is based on the idea that it’s preferable to growing up, these memories thus have a strong premise of “things you cannot do anymore” -- something that, bar going back to the past and never moving from it, you will never get back or be able to sufficiently recreate. It’s unlikely the islands themselves are one-to-one recreating their specific memories in the way they happened, but rather seemingly presenting them the opportunity to “constantly do over” things they want to recreate or do again, as long as those things are associated with a happy thing that isn’t as easily accessible anymore.

In the case of the five Adventure group members who were brought into Neverland, these “memories” that they’re seen trapped in are, of course, from Digimon Adventure.

It is of course foolhardy to pretend that the main reason for this wasn’t meta, since, of course, there’s a huge point to be made here about the relationship between Adventure and nostalgia, plus the simple fact that this is what we’re most likely to recognize and be nostalgic for, but it also makes sense within the context of the narrative; Menoa has an extreme bias towards the happiness of her childhood revolving almost entirely around her partner, and, of course, Adventure was when these kids first had their most formative meetings with said partners. (This is also probably the in-story explanation for why the other international Chosen from 02 appear at or close to their 02 selves; beyond the meta reason of it being a way to make them recognizable when we only knew them for such a short time, it also approximates when they met their own partners.)

On top of that, Adventure was not all sunshine and roses for its cast! After all, there was a ton of drama and emotional trauma and stress from running away from enemies trying to kill them, or trying to save the universe, and glossing over that is also foolhardy -- but this is also where our concept of “rose-colored” comes in. Menoa’s not offering the kids the entire adventure; she’s offering them a small slice of the moments when they were able to be happy, the moments that made them want to stay in the Digital World for a whole 110 years’ worth of time at the end of Adventure -- she’s basically offering them that very thing they wanted and had ripped away from them at the end of Adventure when the time dilation phenomenon stopped. Take out all of the bad stuff, and suddenly, the events of Adventure seem outright romantic -- it’s the whole school of thought that fueled Adventure’s inspirations of Two Years’ Vacation and Stand By Me, in which a lot of stressful stuff happened and yet you still can’t help but think there was something magical and romantic about it. (I cannot emphasize enough how much of a cultural impact Stand By Me in particular had in Japan, to the point where it’s considered the epitome example of a “coming of age story” and “summer adventure”.)

Let’s take a closer look at what’s on each of the Adventure kids’ personal islands:

Hikari is probably the one in the most unusual position among this group, since she didn’t join until over the halfway point, and the first arc she got involved in revolved around everyone wanting her and Tailmon dead. Thus, the memory we get to see her involved in is the Numemon factory in Adventure episode 49. Although this was in the middle of the Dark Masters arc (and, uniquely, very close to the end of the series where a lot of stress was involved), due to the limited amount of time she got to be in the Digital World, this was the one time she got to do something really cool and awesome and impressive for herself that had nothing to do with the others (again: see how the requirements for these islands require not fraternizing with friends and being isolated).

One thing that the Adventure kids got to do that wasn’t in play in 02 was that there were a lot of “romantic experiences”, involving strange adventures and things like phone boxes on the beach, and, very significantly, “Digimon friends” -- ones that the kids made a huge note of bonding with over the course of the series. This contributes to a certain sense of whimsy that was involved in this adventure that the 02 quartet ultimately never ended up getting to foster, because the lack of the time dilation phenomenon meant that they spent much less time in the Digital World overall (more on this in a bit), and once the time dilation stopped, it meant that these kinds of “whimsical” experiences were ones the Adventure group was permanently torn away from once that adventure ended. That dropping of the time dilation phenomenon not only cut that initial adventure short, it also prevented any future ones like it from ever happening again.

And, of course, this is an extremely rose-colored memory, because shortly afterwards, the Numemon ended up all sacrificing themselves for Hikari. But hey, when you’re in a space that can eternally loop good memories forever, everything’s fine as long as we conveniently never get to that part, right?

From this point on, you’ll notice that all of the memories that show up on these islands are from before the halfway point of the series, because after that, things started getting increasingly pear-shaped and much more difficult to disentangle the stress, mental breakdowns, and witnessing of deaths from. (Hikari’s probably wouldn’t have come from such a late incident if she hadn’t joined the party so late.) Although there still were looming threats around the horizon in the beginning of Adventure, they weren’t always immediately apparent to the kids at every turn, and in fact, the beginning of the series involved more of a “well, we’re in this situation and probably need to get home somehow” aura than it did a “the world is in danger and all of us might die” aura. (It’s also in direct contrast to the 02 group, who were given the details of the crisis and what they needed to do roughly from the get-go.) So in other words, if you want to have some rose-colored nostalgia about the romanticism of this adventure, these are some of the best episodes to pull from.

Takeru’s is obviously from the Village of Beginnings, corresponding to Adventure episode 12, when he and Patamon got to have a fun romp through the village, play together, meet Elecmon, and learn about how Digimon are born. It’s also very much something he did without the others, only with Patamon, and had a lot of “fun and happiness” associated with (later solo episodes with Takeru had a lot more upsetting events more intrinsically tied with it), and, again, it’s extremely rose-colored -- it wasn’t even a day later when Angemon died in front of Takeru’s eyes. But hey, that’s even more reason to pick a moment from before then to stay in forever! Can’t have trauma if that trauma never happens, right?

Also, note that Takeru is one of the few here who’s confirmed to be aware of the partnership dissolution issue at this point, and, unlike Koushirou, isn’t confirmed to have accepted a forward-thinking mentality about it yet -- this is a very, very prime time for his fears of being separated from Patamon again to have a nasty relapse.

Mimi’s is the closest to the midpoint of the series, from the affair with the Geckomon and Otamamon castle (from Adventure episode 25; the metal railings here resemble the stage railings from that episode). It’s from the period of time that was a “lull” -- when nobody actually knew about the encroaching threat of Vamdemon quite yet, and for all it was worth, there was no longer any danger. So Mimi got to live happily in the comfort of the castle and play around with the Geckomon and Otamamon...which, of course, also conveniently excludes the affair where she went on a power trip, made everyone miserable due to her selfishness, and immediately felt guilt over it.

Mimi’s associations with this incident are not entirely negative; she was clearly still having fun singing for them in the end (note how her clothing during that scene involved her regular outfit, which she has on here), and she still had a positive impression of her relationship with the Geckomon and Otamamon as per Adventure episode 47 and 02 episode 6 (and as per 02 episode 15, even though everyone’s initial encounter with TonosamaGeckomon ended badly, nobody actually has any lingering grudge against him). So if you filter out that whole affair with the power trip and the resulting embarrassment, it was a meeting with a bunch of fun Digimon friends, a romantic little castle, and a fun stage session where Mimi got to sing.

Jou’s refers to the Infinity Mountain incident in Adventure episode 7, and even from the get-go you can already see the level of rose-coloredness in Jou’s gesture -- in the actual incident depicted, Jou went to the mountain out of a sense of obligation and stress, and the initial climbing involved him having a bit of a bickering moment with Gomamon. But once they did get up there, it was actually their first time the two of them got to really “bond” -- and not only that, their encounter with Unimon had Jou even look on it with fascination, before the Dark Gear had ever come into play.

So in the end, Jou really would have found the incident enjoyable and worthwhile if not for that, and from there you can understand why it would be appealing for him to revisit that setting and finally get to have a bit of calm fun with Gomamon there -- especially since, again, the Neverland islands have a very strong preference for isolating the kids from others, and this was one of the few times Jou got to have a major moment of calm like this alone with Gomamon, with a slight reprieve from the constant feeling of stress and duty.

Koushirou’s most prominently resembles the “sealed room” in the factory in Adventure episode 5, and while Koushirou certainly continued to make a large number of exciting discoveries after that, this was the situation where Koushirou, with no one else but Tentomon to worry about in the immediate vicinity, got to have the largest sensation of “novelty” -- where he first came upon the fascinating discovery of data manipulating reality around him, and he actually got to see the world change around him by wiping things off a wall.

And, of course, there were other things going on like Tentomon confronting him with his first existential crisis, and how things quickly went south with Andromon...but we don’t have to remember that part for now, right?

An interesting thing about Koushirou: the circumstances of how he was “kidnapped” in the first place are actually somewhat obscured compared to the other four in this scene, since Menoa presumably needed him conscious in order to get his list out of him, resulting in his kidnapping scene also involving an emerging Eosmon and not having him be instantly taken the way we see Takeru and Hikari (more on this in the section below). It’s thus unclear whether he’d be in their boat had his position in Menoa’s plan not been unusual -- said memories in Neverland involved “gathering information and learning more”, something he still actively involved himself with even after the events of Adventure, and he’s also the first one to reach a forward-thinking mentality about the partnership dissolution phenomenon. Either way, once he was already dragged into Neverland, it’s natural that the place could find a good memory for him in the same way it did for the other kids who were “manually” dragged in, but the actual method of entry and whether Koushirou's post-Adventure life put him in a mindset similar to that of the 02 quartet (again, see below) is a bit ambiguous.

So here’s an interesting part about how the 02 quartet gets involved in this story: their own encounters with Eosmon happen during a part where the method of kidnapping has abruptly changed. As many have pointed out, this is also when the degree of the targets Menoa wanted had also suddenly escalated, because while her previous claims had involved the idea of kidnapping like-minded adults (who, indeed, were entertaining thoughts of nostalgia to even some degree), she was now kidnapping actual children, ones who weren’t even nearly at the point of the supposed drudgery of adulthood that Menoa claimed they would eventually have, and with her arrogantly deciding she knew better for all of them. The part that becomes particularly intriguing about this is that the exact same thing happens with Miyako -- she is explicitly stated to have connected her laptop to the Internet, resulting in an Eosmon physically emerging and chasing her instead of instantaneously snatching away her consciousness through a camera like her own fellow 02 group members Takeru and Hikari.

So in other words, the 02 quartet’s favorable position in this incident doesn’t just have to do with being lucky enough to have gotten Koushirou’s warning about the Eosmon early; they (or at least Miyako) also seem to have a certain degree of outright immunity to it, much like the young children who aren’t old enough to have nostalgia yet. (Also, keep in mind that Takeru was caught thanks to a security camera; “excess caution with electronic devices” alone wouldn’t necessarily have guaranteed their safety.)

Recalling that, for the most part, Takeru and Hikari are usually treated more like 02 group members in the context of this narrative yet are, in this one case, treated as being potentially nostalgia-prone, it stands to reason that the main difference between the two of them and their fellow members in the 02 group is the fact that Takeru and Hikari went on the adventure in 1999, and the quartet did not. So in other words, the reason the 02 quartet isn’t as prone to this is not so much that they’re fundamentally different-minded people, as much as they have a distinct lack of an experience they can be attached to the way the Adventure group is to their own 1999 adventure. (Remember that Menoa’s kidnappings work heavily on subconscious feelings; you can’t blame anyone for having these kinds of feelings no matter how much they’ve consciously learned.)

As I said earlier, it’s foolhardy to pretend that Adventure was all sunshine and roses, and, likewise, it’s also foolhardy to pretend that 02 was nothing but suffering for everyone involved. Both series involved a lot of balancing of funny, silly moments to be treasured as much as they involved stress (which is why people are so attached to both, after all). So the question is not so much how happy they were in their childhoods as much as the nature of what that happiness came from, and what relation it has to their current lives. And when you look at what experiences the 02 quartet had back in 02, you might notice a thread of the fact that it is significantly harder to romanticize the events of 02 than it is Adventure.

Let’s put it this way: Let’s say that the 02 quartet was kidnapped into Neverland and placed onto islands that fit Menoa’s view of happiness. What, exactly, would you pick from 02 itself that would work? What kind of “happiness” did they have back then that’s so romantic, so impossible to replicate now, that they’d want to go back to because it’s better than their lives now once you disentangle all of the bad stuff?

...Not much. Not much at all, actually. Hanging out in the computer room together? Doesn’t seem like they cared that much about the computer room part as much as the fact the others were there bantering with them (which would put a huge nail in Menoa’s islands mandating isolationism). Going out on a picnic together? No reason they can’t just go on another picnic again (and if the BD box is to be believed, that’s exactly what they did, and they even added Ken to it while they were at it). Hanging out with their Digimon in real life and doing silly hijinks? They’re...probably still doing that now, actually. Getting to find true happiness at a Christmas party? That’s a party from the real world (again, something they most certainly continued to do thereafter), one where the happiness came not from the romanticism of anything that happened to do with some adventure, but just the happiness of being surrounded by true friends, which, again, Ken is still clearly getting to do by the time of Kizuna.

Once you look at the circumstances of what the “adventure” of 02 was to the 02 group, you may realize that it doesn’t really resemble the traditional romantic image of an “adventure” much at all. Sure, they were blessed with being able to regularly go back and forth between the Digital World from the get-go, but it meant that -- especially without the time dilation in play -- the Digital World became much less of a picturesque area associated with a one-time memorable adventure as much as something they had to squeeze in their after-hours while juggling it with their school. The circumstances they encountered their Digimon and the Digital World in were at a point where it had a certain level of “mundane” to them, compared to their seniors; it wasn’t a “fantasy adventure in the Digital World” when so much of the story also revolved around real-world events as well, and you can’t really find many “mysterious fantasy” events in 02 that resemble much of those in Adventure. The closest might be...Daisuke seeing Numemon pile out of a vending machine in 02 episode 1? (Not very romantic.) Daisuke getting chased around by a Tortomon in 02 episode 22? (Really not very romantic.) Iori getting to tour the ocean with Submarimon? (Implied to more about relief from how much he was holding himself back than the uniqueness of the experience in itself.) Ken’s long-time-ago flashback from 02 episode 23 about meeting Wormmon for the first time? (Defeating a Gazimon is hardly that impressive; the important part was him bonding with Wormmon, which he’s...uh...still doing now?)

There weren’t any lasting relationships with Digimon friends like the ones in Adventure, maybe encountering some civilians once and not seeing them much again after that, especially since the lack of time dilation meant not getting to spend as much time visiting them much at all (think about all of the really fun experiences that the Adventure group probably had that weren’t shown in the actual Adventure TV series, just because it probably didn’t have enough drama that would make a good TV episode plot). This means that there’s very little, if at all, of 02 that represents something this group would want so badly to recreate that they can’t already do now; everything from back then was either something comparatively mundane, or something they actually would not want back. Unlike with Adventure, where a lot of the kids had irreplaceable moments that only happened to be spoiled a bit later, a lot of the “really awesome accomplishments” from the first half of 02 were explicitly against Ken, someone whom they’d probably rather not dwell on fighting again because of how much they love him now; many of those good memories are “retroactively poisoned” because of that, and it’s much, much more difficult to make a rose-colored version of those memories disentangled from the bad, because of how fundamentally intrinsic that retroactive poisoning becomes.

And, when you think about it, the mandate of “you have to be alone on your own island” would pretty much break these four in particular, especially since the 02 group is portrayed as the type to need mutual support more than anything else, and so many of the events that represent “happiness” specifically involved the happiness of each other being present. It’s not to say that the 02 quartet had no moments of happiness when alone with their partners, but, rather, being with each other provided so much more fulfillment to them that Menoa’s offer of a memory of their past that requires them to be alone probably pales in comparison to anything they could do now in each other’s presence. Maybe, like with the other kids depicted in these scenes, they could be buttered up with something nice if you successfully got them into Neverland, but it’s not like they have any real wistfulness about anything from back then to the point that they’d be subconsciously drawn towards it instead of having to be dragged in kicking and screaming -- and especially in the case of Miyako, the same one who managed to evade an Eosmon here, who was offered a similar “chance to be alone” back in 02 episode 49 and didn’t take very long to decide she hated it because of how much of her happiness comes from getting to be with others.

By the time of the end of Adventure, the Adventure kids’ ideal situation was to have a romantic and fun 110-year adventure with the sights and fun of the Digital World, with all of the weird fantasy surrealism and less of the world-saving, and that’s something they never got to have (and that Menoa was inherently offering them). By the time of the end of 02, the 02 quartet’s ideal situation was...to find a way to get back to normal life and hope their friend feels a little better, and that “ideal situation” is still persisting even into the time of Kizuna, so it’s hard to imagine they really want more than that.

And, again, when you extrapolate this into what Kizuna’s trying to say about real life, adulthood, and nostalgia: it is true that Menoa’s projecting a belief that absolutely does not apply to everyone. While it’s true that many people feel that childhood had a certain kind of magic that you can’t get back in adulthood, there are possibly just as many people who aren’t really all that nostalgic to begin with, either due to trauma or something about their childhoods being miserable, or, even in the lack of such miserable events, simply enjoying the added freedom and expanded range of ability that comes with adulthood to the point they consider it to be more than worth the tradeoff. The 02 group basically represents this crowd -- Ken’s life right now beats out his past in pretty much nearly every respect, and while there are certain concerns about not being able to meet up as often, they’re finding the same ways to do the same kinds of over-the-top hijinks they did back in 02, with arguably even more range now that they get to exploit Digital Gates to do world travel and act without worrying about their parents. They’re basically like the adults who see Menoa’s creed of “childhood is better because adulthood sucks” and go “sorry, can’t relate.”

That said, remember: this isn’t because the 02 quartet is somehow mentally stronger or anything, but rather just a byproduct of what experiences they've had and haven’t had. Takeru and Hikari’s position is unique here -- for all intents and purposes their mentalities are portrayed as closer to the 02 group’s, but they did still have the experience their seniors had and are thus still capable of being close to their position in this one regard. In the end, everyone is different, it’s no sin to have feelings based on those differences, and “being able to relate” to one’s position is also an important key here; because the 02 group’s position is so alien to Menoa’s, it’s unlikely they could have tackled her problems nearly as intimately as their seniors could.

What we learn about Menoa’s backstory establishes that she forced her vision of nostalgic happiness on everyone based on her own perception of her past in such a warped, rose-colored manner. She conveniently omitted or forgot about details such as the fact that her life as a “child” involved feeling ostracized from everyone and that she herself was guilty of neglecting Morphomon. Not only that, she herself claims that she’s the only one who knows what this feels like -- that nobody relates to her -- and thus, you can see that she came to her conclusion that her experiences are universal by the power of sheer extrapolation, hence why she thinks everyone inevitably loses their partner upon reaching adulthood despite pretty significant amounts of evidence to the contrary. (For all it’s worth, the fact that she still considers herself as having “become an adult” at 14 just because she got into university at that time is pretty conceited.)

Menoa’s existence as being so starkly in contrast to the 02 quartet’s is very likely because her entire character was built up from the ground that way -- her entire backstory of skipping grades into university is heavily based on 02′s initial development premise and Ken’s own backstory, meaning she explicitly represents the path that Ken and the other 02 kids chose not to take, and the timing of certain events in her backstory seems almost deliberately engineered to prevent her from witnessing some of 02′s important answers to Kizuna’s conflict, most notably her inability to witness the final battle and the important lessons everyone present learned about following one’s dreams without restraint, and how that relates to one’s partner. Menoa’s mindset is basically that level of incompatible with 02′s themes of “moving on from the past” and “not caving to arbitrary societal expectations”, to the point her character could only get to this point by going out of the way to exclude her from 02′s story and events, because she’s fundamentally built as a character who started off on a very similar path as them (getting to integrate her Digimon partner into normal life, having a similar backstory to Ken) before veering off on a very different one.

Moreover, about that backstory, and the reason why 02 was conceived as such a criticism of the concept of “skipping grades into university”: the concern that someone in this position will be kept from making any friends their age. Menoa puts the moment of “being with one’s partner” on such a pedestal and considers herself to be “the only one who knows what this feels like” partially because she has a fundamentally warped view of friendship itself. Even the Adventure group, which may not have had quite the absurdly tight level of bonding the 02 group had, still broke out of the illusion via Taichi and Yamato reaching out to them, and Taichi and Yamato giving each other mutual support helped them make the decisions they did in the movie. The movie is titled “bonds”, and “bonds” doesn’t just refer to those between human and Digimon partner, but also bonds between each other; Taichi, Yamato, and Sora slowly drifting away from the others at the start of the movie has very strong relevance to their respective existential crises, and the role that Taichi and Yamato play in supporting each other, and Mimi’s in supporting Sora in To Sora and even beyond that, say a lot as to how they’re already expected to be much better off than Menoa was.

It’s not that adulthood is inherent drudgery; it’s that Menoa’s own circumstances really are that warped to the point where she sees her very unusual experiences as fundamentally synonymous with how life is supposed to work in general. She was so obsessed with “being independent”, “being useful to the world”, and “being on her own” that she had no mentality of making friends or connecting to others besides her own partner, and once her partner disappeared, she seemed to make no attempt to rectify that. So of course her life in university following that ended up being not nearly as fulfilling as she’d hoped, since she was getting no real emotional support from anywhere, and, as 02 itself also drove home, apparent “approval from society” only ever makes you as “happy” as a Dark Seed-implanted child if you’re not also being supported by your loved ones in the process. Her adulthood sucked, and she decided that everything about her rose-colored childhood meant that childhood is fundamentally superior in every way, and thus decided that keeping everyone else in it would be “saving” them from the terror it involves -- even though (even if they’re not aware of the specifics of everything) the 02 quartet is not the kind to be able to relate to this at all, and, eventually, Taichi and Yamato, who do understand her position a bit better due to their own experiences, are able to get her to reconsider a little.

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

[animeyanderelover]

I'd love to see Hashirama with prompt 74. “As long as you love me everything is alright. You…you do love me, right?”

👍.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, delusions, clinginess, angsty stuff

Prompt 74: “As long as you love me everything is alright. You...you do love me, right?”

You remembered that there had been often times where you had wished that Hashirama would just calm down since he was often a lot to deal with. He was always so clingy and the amount of affection he gave you was nearly suffocating, not to mention that you hadn’t forgotten the incident with your clothes. But that wasn’t even the biggest problem in here. No, that all was terrible too, but could be ended by a breakup. And that was the worst in here. Leaving him would be as good as impossible. Not only was there the danger of the whole village being disappointed in you as well as having his furious little bro in your neck, but Hashirama himself could possess quite the threat. He was Hokage. He had power. He could ruin you and your family’s life if he felt like and even get away with it. As much as Hashirama was a sunshine and almost a bit like a child, you had catched up onto one thing at some point into this relationship. Hashirama had a dark side to him. Everyone had, you knew that. You had one as well. But it became dangerous when this dark side was able to ruin someone else like Hashirama was. Luckily he didn’t let this side out very often, it was rarely seen because around you he was always the loving and smothering husband. But that made it also so much more terrifying if this side of him came out. Because it was almost like witnessing a nightmare in real life when seeing this man getting serious and mad.

But you had never seen him like this. He seemed so...so discouraged. So hopeless. So small. You had expected that he would be depressed after Madara had left the village, the man he had considered as his best friend. The man who he had happily introduced you to, the man who he had always stood up for, the man who had betrayed him and had attacked him. You couldn’t even image how hard this must have been for him. And the comments from Tobirama hadn’t really helped at all. He had just scolded him that he should have listened to him before and that he had been right after all about Madara. You and Mito had to literally hit him on his head to snap him out of his lecturing speech and help him realize how devastated Hashirama had looked. You had often seen him sulking about something or being depressed over more childish things. But this had only lasted for a short while, not concerning you too much at the end of the day. He had always been able to get over those small things very quickly and go back to his more goofy self. And that was the thing that had you currently worry the most. He hadn’t gone back to his old self. Instead he had been those last few days after the incident more quiet and thoughtful than usual, causing you to worry yourself almost sick over him. But the most heartbreaking thing you had witnessed so far was how needy he had suddenly gotten. It wasn’t the usual clingyness, it was almost like a desperation, a desire to know that you wouldn’t leave him like his friend had.

“Hey Hashi. What’s wrong?” Hashirama turned slightly surprised, slightly tired around when hearing your soft voice calling him. It was early morning, the sky still dark and most people would have still payed soundly asleep in bed. But not you two. When his gaze met yours he gave you a small smile. But it didn’t look like the ones he usually gave you. Of course there was still warmth and eternal love in it, but he also looked exhausted as well as if he was in pain. “Oh. Hey, darling. I didn’t want to wake you up. I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep. Go back to bed, it’s still pretty early.” You didn’t move, instead glancing with eyes filled with sadness at him. He looked so incredibly vulnerable as hunched over as he was sitting on the couch. Where was the once so energetic and always happy guy who you had so often a day called a moron because he had done something stupid? Where had that man gone? And when would he come back? You couldn’t just let him sit here and let him drown in self sorrow. You had to do at least try to do something for him. He had done so much for you too. So you slowly made your way over to the couch, slowly sitting down next to him. He didn’t react, instead staring with a hollow yet also sorrowful look in his eyes in the space, telling you what he was seeing right now before his inner eye could only be seen by him. You felt a small “pang” in your chest when seeing him spacing out like this, his eyes having lost the light they used to always have inside of them. How could you have ever thought of his personality as annoying and too much? Had you ever even considered that this might have been the reason why he had been even able to reach the position he was currently in right now? He had worked more than anybody else to establish the village and make peace with the other villages. His sometimes almost careless and easygoing looking attitude had given people always courage and hope.

But now he looked so broken, like a small child who needed protection. Or just someone who would be there for you. And if this person had to be you then you would damn well do it. Everything to get him out of his misery, the whole atmosphere in the village had already started to change and became more gloomy due to their leader being on his knees. You sighed worriedly, laying your hand on top of his. Hashirama didn’t look at you, but was quick to grab your hand and intervene his fingers with you, the pressure he put on your hand being only a bit too tight as if being scared that something might happen at the moment. “Hashirama,”, the tone you used reminded you of the one your mother used to use on you, strict yet gentle,”please look me in my eyes.” You had the feeling that he needed a moment or two before your words finally seemed to register in his brain and you almost thought that he wanted to avoid looking you in your face by the way he turned so incredibly slowly his head around to meet your gaze. He was ashamed, you could tell from the way he didn’t dare to look you in your eyes, always looking quickly down whenever he managed to look you for a short second in your eyes. You tried to give him some time to adjust, waiting patiently until he seemed to be a bit less tense than before.

“It’s not your fault, you know. I mean with Madara.” It wasn’t a very wise decision to mention his name like this, but you had to directly talk with Hashirama about this, even though he stiffened when hearing his name again. “No one blames you Hashi. Not the village, not your clan, not your brother nor Mito. And me neither. We all know you tried your best. The best might sometimes not be enough, but it’s the will that counts. You don’t need to be perfect or anything like this. It was Madara’s decision and you couldn’t have done anything to help him. I understand that it must be hard for you to live with the knowledge that your best friend turned against you and that you had to fight him. It’s a heavy burden on your soul and heart, but you aren’t alone with this. You have so many people in your life who are there for you. You just have to look out of the window and see the village, the people in there who are willing to help you. As harsh as it may sound, but you have to eventually let go of him. I don’t demand from you to erase those memories of of you and him together, but I ask you to accept that you couldn’t have done everything to stop him and to stop thinking that it’s all your fault. There are people who need you right now. So please stop being so sad and try to live with it. And if you aren’t strong enough to carry this on your own, I’m here for you just like your brother, Mito and so many more. Alright?”

Hashirama stared shocked at you, looking like he hadn’t expected you to say this. But only a short moment later the impact of what you had just said hit him. You had never seen him that emotional before which caused your heart to clench from sadness seeing him like this. You could see the visible hurt in his eyes, the feeling of not being able to do anything and prevent it from happening, the hurt of being betrayed from someone you had known for such a long time. The thing that made it even more bitter for you was that you also saw some of the emotions his eyes always used to hold for you when looking at you. The adoration and infinite love he used to have and still had for you. Together with his somewhat forced yet also thankful and sincere smile it let you feel an emotion that you couldn’t name, not knowing how to feel about the dualism of feelings displayed on his face. “As long as you love me everything is alright.” When saying this he suddenly crawled closer towards you, hugging your waist and laying his head on your lap. And you felt like your heart had just shattered in your chest, witnessing this complete action of utter desperation from his side. He had just come crawling to you like an insecure child needing comfort.

“You...you do love me, right?” You glanced down at him, looking at his eyes that begged you silently to tell him you did. What was this? Why was he doing this? Was he afraid that you would leave him too just like Madara did? Was that the reason why he was acting so needy right now? Did he need to hear that you loved him that badly? There were so many quest swirling around in your mind, but you put them all for the moment aside, focusing on the man clinging tightly onto your waist and tugging slightly on the fabric of your pajamas, wanting, needing you to answer his question. And how could you have said no to him when he was in such a fragile state like right now. “Of course I do, Hashi. I always will.”

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt.7)

Well, Natsume's really in it now! Today we'll be talking about what lengths Natsume will go to in order to protect the people he loves. He's not a normal boy with a normal first crush, after all. He has no intention of wooing her or flirting. In fact, his instinct is to distance himself, and going forward we'll see that instinct is motivated by more than just a low self-esteem.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Natsume has some major character flaws. He’s kinda a jerk in general and is rude and abrasive. He’s chronically selfless and seems to be drawn to situations where he can sacrifice himself for others, which is a very unhealthy way to be. He’s also terrible at keeping his word.

Natsume only made this decision on his own, but he’s pretty bad at carrying through with it. He’s the one who told her to stay away, but Natsume will have more and more trouble staying true to such an agreement.

At first, he makes an effort: Mikan is being bullied for her stupidity and sees Natsume. He glares at her, another discouragement from coming any closer. He doesn’t argue with her or join in on the bullying.

But in no time at all, the whole class is riled up in study mode because of Mikan’s example, and for many kids in Class B, the best person to turn to for tutoring help is Natsume, who is actually quite smart when he actually does the work--though he’d prefer not to. And he does help, though not with any kind or supportive words. He’ll leave that to Mikan. Maybe to him it feels a bit like a cheat, like he can afford to give in a little bit. He later walks alongside her after an exam, like he’s part of her circle, and although he’s not really engaging with her like the rest of the kids are, it’s enough that he’s near her.

And it’s enough for the ESP and Persona to notice.

We can see the ESP looking down on them from his headquarters room, still covered in shadows to maintain his mystery, but his figure is familiar enough for a reread. Natsume has been caught and he will have to face the consequences.

Persona subs in for Makihara-sensei (and we must wonder if Makihara was really unable to proctor his exam or if he was ordered to stay away so that a point could be made to Natsume), and despite his disguise, Natsume can tell it’s him instantly. After all, he was supposed to recognize him. Natsume looks horrified.

So far, Natsume has had to more or less balance two very different parts of his life: a more light-hearted life in Class B and his life as a spy and black ops agent. They’ve been difficult to juggle because of how different they are, but they’ve been pretty separated. Here, the lines are blurring. Was there really any divide at all or was that just an illusion? Persona can invade on his happiness any time he wants, on a whim, and nobody else will notice that anything is amiss. Only Natsume will be bothered, and that’s enough.

Natsume later catches up to Persona, asking him what the hell all that was about.

Permy and his fans aren’t the only ones to notice that Natsume has been softer lately--he and the ESP have noticed as well, and he’s been ordered to put a stop to it. He mentions a “kitten of a different color” who has been of interest to the ESP too, and Natsume plays dumb, his last-ditch attempt to protect Mikan from being drawn into this.

Persona comments on the strangeness of seeing the infamous Black Cat that he trained himself, who he’s supposedly only ever seen in action, sitting and taking a test like a normal kid. He reminds him that he’s not a normal kid. There’s no point in trying so hard. He won’t make it to ever see his family again, so why even bother?

And then Persona makes a point to discourage Natsume from getting close to that “kitten of a different color”. Natsume argues that they’re the ones who made them partners in the first place! And he might as well be giving himself away. Again, Natsume seems convinced that the partners thing was a decision from pretty high up, but I don’t think it was. Here, it seems like Persona is trying to clean up the mess Narumi made before it gets too out of hand. Natsume is a perfect tool and anything messing with that is inconvenient. They can’t unmake them partners (yet) so the most they can do is threaten Natsume.

And now we can see what kind of alice Persona has. It's a real threat, killing that plant. It's a reminder to Natsume what he's capable of, that his friends and loved ones could end up just like that plant.

And so Persona does.

Natsume is anguished here, because he’s been trying his very best to avoid this situation, but he should have known that Mikan was already in the academy spotlight and his feelings would be quickly caught. It was too late from the start and he was doomed all along to add Mikan to the list of people he will do anything to protect.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The next chapter opens with Mikan being confused and hurt by Natsume’s sudden new coldness. She has no idea what’s brought this all on, but we do. Natsume has no choice now but to completely try and cut her off. It’s for her own good, after all. If he’s not careful, she could get hurt. Protecting her is worth it, even if it means he has to be even more of a villain than usual.

We don’t see a lot of Natsume in this chapter, actually, because he’s trying really hard to stick by his word this time. We see him trip up a little, staring at her in class. When she catches him, he turns away coldly, but from this we can see that Natsume really doesn’t want to be leaving her alone like this. If he had it his way, in an ideal world, he’d be much nicer to her. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t waste his time thinking about his ideals, so he keeps at it, pushing her away.

The next time we see Natsume, it’s after we’ve been thoroughly introduced to the concept of the life-shortening alice. This is one hint of many that he has such an alice, several chapters before we get a real confirmation.

The scene where Natsume struggles on a bed full of pills is perhaps more dramatic in the anime, but it’s no less potent here. It’s like a sucker punch. You don’t want it to be true. He’s ten years old, for heaven’s sake! TEN YEARS OLD! And he’s suffering, hunched over, face red, gasping for air, clutching his chest, next to the biggest bag of medicine I’ve ever seen. It’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far, especially in the context of Kaname’s illness.

It's heart-breaking to imagine that most of the time, Natsume is simply pretending like he's not in absolute physical agony.

Kaname stays at the hospital for long stretches of time, staying for weeks and sometimes months at a time. He’s hospitalized more than he’s able to walk around free. There’s a lot to consider when that treatment is compared to Natsume’s. Natsume is the DA favorite and is sent on many missions. His trips to the hospital are never for weeks or months at a time, not because he doesn’t need the rest, but because the school can’t stand to go so long without their prize fighter. Natsume might be in even worse condition than Kaname, but there’d be no real way to tell unless we got it from him, because he has no choice but to put up with it and pretend like he’s not living in constant agony. And on top of being terribly and terminally ill, he gets physically beaten somewhat regularly… this school beats sick children and then threatens them when they find any inkling of happiness.

There is a bittersweet tone about Kaname’s story. He’s already sick anyway but he will probably die if he keeps using his alice, but he wants to, because he wants to bring people the same happiness that making Bear brought him. It’s tragic and heart-breaking, but it’s touching too. That sweetness is missing from Natsume’s appearance. His situation feels miserable and helpless in comparison, because not only does he have no way out, but nobody even knows the extent of his struggles.

He only lets himself feel this level of pain when he’s all alone in his bedroom. He’s been having a horrible past few days, having to ignore Mikan when she’s all that’s made him happy in recent memory. All that together, and we know that this night was a rough one for him.

The next day, we see everyone saying good-bye to Kaname. Once again, Natsume is completely separated from the rest of them, all alone in the classroom, sitting and looking as miserable as one can expect. It’s strange seeing him now after we’ve seen what his nights look like and just how painful they can get.

I just want him to be okay. Why is that too much to ask?

There’s some text on his panel: “I want the future I spend with the ones I love to last just a little longer.” Yet another hint that maybe his illness is more than just that. He has very little time left, and very little time to spend with his loved ones, but even worse: he can’t even spend time with Mikan because doing so would put her in danger. Even with Youichi and Ruka the amount of time he can spend with them is limited. They have their own lives and he doesn’t want to hold them back or hint in the slightest that there’s something up with him. He doesn’t want to worry or burden them. And so he sits alone in the classroom, looking despondent and lonely.

And now we know more than ever that this was never his choice: he has to be like this.

No, he’s not the asshole he makes himself out to be, somebody who doesn’t care about others and cuts others off because he thinks himself above them. All he wants is to protect people from getting too entrenched in his dark life. Natsume being this level of a jerk is a method to protect people, a method an adult would have to take.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I’m quite relieved to have finally passed the point where the anime adapts the manga. From now on, I can focus entirely on the manga. I passed 22k words on this essay too! This whole thing will be sooooo long. I hope it’s an enjoyable read so far. It’s quite fun for me to write.

This chapter is the beginning of a long and dramatic arc. There’s been incidents of people losing their alices. The academy is withholding information about the gravity of the situation, lying that the students have not been affected so far.

But even with the little information the kids have, Class B is full of concern. Everyone is discussing these incidents, debating whether losing one’s alice would even be a bad thing. After all, they’d be able to go back home and see their families. Nonoko brings up a great point, that her alice is a part of her identity, something she loves about herself. It’s not something she’d ever willingly part with. Furthermore, she doesn’t want to leave all her friends at the academy either. Ultimately, the kids all agree that they wouldn’t want to lose their alices.

At this, Natsume stands up and leaves the room. He’s heard enough.

Natsume doesn’t just have complicated feelings about his alice--he feels hatred for it. After all, if it weren’t for his alice, he could live to a ripe old age. He could still be with his family. He could be happy, not used as a weapon by the academy to fight until he dies. He can’t relate much to the conversations about fondness for an alice. From what we can see, he’d be over the moon to be rid of it for good. This is a concept brought up now, because it will be incredibly important later on.

Not to spill about my personal life or anything, but I’m an English major (in an anglophone country so my focus is literary analysis and writing). Writing literature papers in school was a love of mine that I translated to my other interests. I’m writing what I can here about general themes and even visual parallels. I want to write as thorough an analysis as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t effectively pick apart word choices and phrases when they’re translated from another language and when so many conflicting translations may exist.

I’m saying all this as a disclaimer because I want to analyze word choice now and I am aware that this might not carry to the original Japanese or even to other versions of the English translation. (For reference, I’m using the TokyoPop versions for my analysis for the first 15 volumes and then I’ll be using whatever I get my hands on for the rest. The pics I use are from scans, but the main source I use for now is TokyoPop.)

"Nowhere!".... hmm let me read way too much into this.

Natsume leaves the room and Ruka chases after him, asking where he’s headed. Natsume responds, “Nowhere.” This might be a nothing point to make, but it stands out to me whenever I read this part. It’s a reassurance to Ruka, sure, but there seems to be more to it. On the surface, we can tell that Natsume doesn’t have a destination in mind; he just doesn’t want to be in the classroom anymore, listening to all that upsetting talk. Deeper than that, he really is heading nowhere. He’s stuck there, at the academy, unlike the rest of them who will eventually leave to go back home once they’ve graduated. Natsume will probably die at the school, trapped within its gates. He will probably never see his family again. He is, in that sense as well, going nowhere.

The rest of their conversation is just as packed with meaning. Ruka can tell something is up and he wants Natsume to talk to him, to let him in, but Natsume knows that Ruka has made a pact not to smile if he’s not smiling. So even though Ruka is asking and wants to know what’s wrong, Natsume won’t give anything away. Being miserable is one thing, but letting Ruka know that something is worse than usual would only make Ruka miserable too, and he can’t have that. The bottom of one page has him frowning, maybe steeling himself, and then at the top of the next page, he turns around with a grin to tousle Ruka’s hair.

Don't mind me. I am simply crying.

“It’s nothing,” he says with his smile, looking so gentle, and Ruka still looks concerned, but he can’t argue anymore.

In reality there’s a lot going on with Natsume. Later, when we are introduced to Tono, he mentions being concerned about Natsume’s health, having heard that he was making frequent visits to the hospital. We already know he’s sick and going on ceaseless missions, and on top of all that he has to ignore and be cruel to the girl he likes. It’s a terrible situation. But Natsume can’t tell Ruka any of this without worrying him, so instead he will keep it to himself. After all, it’s nothing that can be helped or changed. It’s something he feels he has to cope with on his own. To him, spilling his secrets would be selfish and only cause suffering.

Chapter Thirty

Iinchou has finally returned from his visit to his hometown. He’s brought gifts and anecdotes and everyone is quite happy to see him, until Iinchou attempts to use his alice and finds himself unable to.

It’s a shock to the whole class that a kid at their school has lost his alice. They had been so relieved that at least it wouldn’t affect kids like them, but now one of them is a victim too. It makes the fear much more real. If it could happen to Iinchou, it could happen to any of them.

Things get tense when Iinchou returns to class and says that this might have been the fault of a woman he encountered outside of the school, someone who was probably affiliated with Z. Everyone who was involved with saving Natsume when he was kidnapped is shocked to hear about Z again, but none more than Natsume himself. He gets up and leaves, just like he did last chapter.

He’s thinking about the proposal Reo gave, that Natsume should join Z and fight against the academy he despises. But he’s not alone with his thoughts, because Ruka followed him again, and so did Mikan this time.

She tries to ask him about Z, see if he has any more idea about what’s going on. She’s confused and he knows more than anyone what happened during that incident, but he’s refusing to acknowledge her presence, let alone answer any of her questions. He’s keeping up his charade of cruelty to keep her safe, but it’s driving Mikan crazy. She finally breaks, screaming at him that he should pay attention when people are talking to him, and further that if he has any issues with her he should just say it to her face.

Just like last chapter, we see a panel of Natsume steeling himself, ready to do the selfless thing to protect the other person. Only this time the next panel has him glaring at her, saying he doesn’t like anything about her. He hates everything about her.

Natsume has no choice but to lie all the time about how he's feeling, because everyone else must always come first.

It feels different, but in reality this is the same thing he did to Ruka last chapter. He can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s feeling upset, and he can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s actually starting to fall for a girl. He always has to hide his true feelings, repress and bury them, lie about them in order to protect everyone around him. It’s hard for him to do, but he thinks it hurts him more than it could hurt her, so he manages it.

What adds even more layers to this is that Ruka is observing the whole thing. He sees Natsume’s actions as selfless but misfires on the motive a little--but only a little.

He recalls eating strawberries with Natsume and Aoi, with Aoi cheerfully discussing her newfound love for the fruits. And so Natsume gives his to her. Aoi is surprised, because strawberries are his favorites. He responds easily, “I hate them now.”

"For you," Natsume says.

Ruka knows what kind of person Natsume is, that Natsume would reject something he loves so that his loved ones can be happy. They’re both aware that they like the same girl, and Ruka can’t help but put the math together and assume that perhaps Natsume is doing this for him, hurting himself and bringing himself pain so that Ruka can be happy and pursue a girl he has a crush on guilt-free.

He’s even more convinced of the theory with the tiny panel that reminds us of when Natsume shoved Ruka into Mikan so they could dance. Natsume loves Mikan too, but he wants Ruka to be happy, so he will give up and even ruin his own chances to help out his best friend over himself.

When I say it’s a misfire, I mean that Natsume has a lot of other things going on, including Persona and his imminent death. It’s not that he definitely isn’t doing this for Ruka, it’s just that it’s not as major a factor as other things. He’s mainly doing it because of the threats from Persona. If Ruka is involved in his thought process, it’s mainly a bonus. Ruka’s theory is definitely not unfounded; just not completely accurate.

In any case, it does add extra substance to the dynamic between the three of them, where they all walk away from the moment with completely different kinds of misery.

Before any of them can sit with their sadness, though, they receive word that an intruder from Z is at the school.

Conclusion

In this section, we explored how Natsume has no choice but to distance himself from everybody, and even how the methods he uses to distance himself look different depending on the person. Ultimately, despite the fact that he isn't the sweetest kid you'll ever meet, Natsume being cruel to this extent isn't a quirk of his personality: it's what he has to do. If he didn't have so many things being held against him, he might be much kinder to Mikan, or more honest with Ruka, but he has no choice in the matter.

In the next edition, we're getting more involved in the Z Arc and going into how come Natsume goes from telling Mikan he hates her to backing her cause and going on a dangerous mission with her.

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[inkykeiji]

how did u become such an amazing writer? this might sound dumb but every time i read your work i learn a bunch of new words lol

first of all, wow, thank you SO much for that compliment!!! i’m literally gushing over that one sentence alone hehehe thank you thank you <33 and that totally doesn’t sound dumb at all!!! i’m actually super happy to hear that!!! <3

beware: LONG post beneath the keep reading!!!

okay, so. bear with me for a moment while i ramble a little bit, okay? i want to preface this by linking you to a cute little post leah wrote on the concept of ‘talent’, just in case it’s something you need to hear!! i know sometimes people can get a little down on themselves + their skill and just go ‘oh well, i’m just not talented enough’ or ‘i wasn’t born with that talent’ and i want to discourage you from ever thinking like that. i agree 100% with leah; i believe ‘talent’ is simply a natural inclination someone might’ve been born with, but not that it means that someone who wasn’t born with that inclination can’t be just as good as the person with the ‘talent’; you absolutely can.

if you already knew that, then fantastic!!!! <333 i just wanted to mention it, just in case, you know???

okay!!! i think there are a few major factors that contribute to my current skill as a writer, and they’re the same three pieces of advice i give everyone who asks about how they can improve their craft:

practice

study/reading

consuming other art forms

- practice: i know this is probably a given, but it truly IS the best way to improve. (if you’ve been around on my blog for a while u might’ve already heard me say this a few times ehehe but) i always say creativity is a muscle—because it is. we all have it, and the more you ‘exercise’ it, the stronger it’ll become. skill is kind of the same way: the more you practice something, the better you’ll get at it, and the faster you’ll improve. HOWEVER!!!! i want to caution you against doing too much too fast. please, don’t overwhelm yourself!!! if you’re not used to writing often, work your way up to it at your own pace. there’s no rush or time limit here—you do what feels best for YOU at whatever pace is most comfortable. just like when you’re exercising a physical muscle, you can ‘strain’ your creative muscle by trying to do too much too quickly as well (creative burnout, basically).

for me, i write nearly every single day. sometimes it’s only a paragraph or two, sometimes its thousands of words, but the most important point here is that i am continuing to practice and sharpen my skills, you know? no practice is bad practice, i pinky promise you that. even if it feels like everything you’re writing is awful and you hate it all (and we ALL have these days, they are normal!!) you ARE still improving!!!

i want to make it clear here that i am NOT suggesting you write every single day if you aren’t already used to writing regularly. i’ve been writing since i was teeny tiny (seriously, at age 7 i used to walk around at recess talking to myself, literally telling myself a story out loud that i was making up on the spot........) and i’ve had plenty of time to practice and build up that stamina. i don’t know where you are in your writing journey, but if you aren’t used to writing regularly, work on building up to that first. again, don’t overwhelm yourself!!! it’s okay if it’s only a few sentences a few days a week—it’s something, and that’s what counts!

- study/reading: i read a LOT as a child, and i read a lot throughout university (and for university), and i try my best to find time to read now, a few hours a week. when you read, you are (on some level) studying the craft, among a whole slew of other things. you literally mentioned it yourself when you pointed out that you always learn some new vocab from reading my work!!! so please, read. anything and everything. do you have a favourite author or novel(s)? sit down and figure out why you like them. do you have any authors or books you just can’t stand? sit down and think about why you hate them, etc etc etc.

- consume other art forms: so i went to school for film, which meant i was watching five movies a week on average, not counting whatever i’d throw on at home while doing readings and all that. i genuinely think my education (studying films from all angles, from interdisciplinary perspectives, making films etc) helped me strengthen my skill as a writer even more. now, i’m not telling you to go get a film degree hehehe, all i’m saying is to consume other art forms in addition to reading: film, photography, painting, music, theatre, dance, etc etc etc. whatever you’d like/whatever interests you most. it’ll help you see things from different perspectives and, if i can be a little cheesy, it’s good for your soul <3

waaaaah sorry this post is SO LONG anon!!!! but those are the things that i think have helped me improve my skill the most, and continue to aid me!!! if anything’s unclear or you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to ask!! i hope this answers your question hehe <33

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Twenty One

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen, Part Twenty...

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 6k+

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, stuff... I’m so tried my brain can’t function.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Lena has a question she wants to ask Emma.

Here you go, I hope you enjoy! My eyes are closing as I’m trying to write this. Such fun! Please forgive the exhaustion that is showing in this part.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray​​​, @life-is-hella-unfair​​, @natasha-danvers​​, @supergirl-writingz​​, @camslightstories​​, @thinking1bee​​, @aznblossom​​,

Lena tries to concentrate as she goes through the mountain of paperwork that has built up over the past week and a bit since the attack. Frustration flows through her when the pile never seems to decrease in size.

When the CEO finds herself reading the same line over and over Lena sighs heavily and leans back in her office chair. She lifts the tip of her thumb to her mouth and bites. Her anxiety swirling and simmering under the surface. Taking another deep breath Lena looks down at her phone. She quickly grabs it, turning her chair towards the window and opens a playlist full of Emma’s voice and video messages as well as the songs she sent. Even if it was to ask her opinion on which lyrics sound better or a simple “Good Morning love.”

The raven haired beauty scrolls through the hundreds of files before coming across one of her favourites. It was also in video form which Lena doesn’t know if it's a good thing or not. To actually see Emma talk and sing instead of just hearing her girlfriend.

“Hi Lee!” Emma’s beaming face fills the screen. Her wavy blonde hair is down and she’s wearing Lena’s National City University sweatshirt she had sneakily packed into her bag and taken on the tour.

Immediately tears start to creep into Lena’s eyes when she hears Emma’s voice. Realising how much she misses her love’s laugh, the changes of tone as the blonde would talk about the different things that have happened to her during the day. The tender way Emma would softly whisper her name as she was falling asleep.

“I hope your day is going great! Well, I’m back in the studio-” Emma motions around her to the dimly lit recording studio and the microphone equipment next to her. “-and I was thinking about you, I mean, when am I not thinking about you?!” Emma chuckles and Lena can’t help but lift the corner of her mouth up in a small smile as a lone tear rolls down her cheek. “Anyway, this song came to my mind and I immediately needed to record it for you.”

Emma lifts her guitar up onto her lap and starts strumming. Her hazel green eyes connect with the camera, as if she’s looking straight at Lena.

You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged, oh I realise It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all The darkness inside you Can make you feel so small

Like the previous times before Lena is completely floored when she watches Emma sing. The way in which the words touch Lena and making her heart melt and ache all at once. How even though her girlfriend is singing to a camera she somehow connects with Lena.

But I see your true colours Shining through I see your true colours And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colours True colours True colours are beautiful Like a rainbow

“Wow.”

Lena jumps and quickly locks her phone, halting the video and Emma’s voice. The CEO spins around to see an apologetic Sam standing behind her desk.

“Sorry!” Sam holds her hands up and Lena wipes her face. Trying to hide the emotions that had surfaced.

“It’s okay.” Lena tries to tidy her desk a bit before focusing back on her friend. “Everything okay?”

“Yea, it’s gone six.”

Lena’s eyes widen as she glances down at the clock on her desk.

‘Shit.’ The raven haired beauty thinks in dismay and presses her lips together until they disappear.

“You alright?” Sam asks with a frown.

“I didn’t get enough done today.” Lena uncharacteristically slumps forward and holds her head in her hands.

“Hey-” Sam quickly comes around and sits on the desk, placing a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You are ahead of what you need to do, but if things get too much we can always hire more assistants. You aren’t in this alone.”

Lena swallows heavily and nods. Sam may say she’s ahead but the raven haired beauties expectations are set too high from years of trying to please her family.

“So, how about we pick up some food and go see that gorgeous girlfriend of yours?”

Sam’s comment makes Lena gradually sit up and glare at the brunette.

“Hands off Arias.” Lena growls and Sam throws her head back laughing.

“Wrong Danvers my dear.” Sam gently pats Lena’s cheek before getting up and grabbing her stuff.

Lena smiles and shakes her head. Quickly wiping the tears from her face before shutting everything down on her desk. She takes one more look at the piles of work.

Before Kara Danvers had come into her life she would have stayed until the early hours of the morning to complete her tasks. Sometimes not even leaving the office at all. But with Kara everything changed. Her obsessive, workaholic routines had been disrupted with lunches, coffee meet ups, movie and games nights. Lena found herself developing more and more friendships and she liked it.

Then when Emma Danvers swung into Lena’s life… Well there was no hope of Lena ever working late into the night again.

Because no matter where Emma was she would ask when the best time was for her to call Lena and for some strange reason Lena had given her a time that cut her working hours a lot shorter. This also meant that Lena wasn’t elbow deep in work that would distract her from spending time with her crush. Over time this became her new normal and even when Emma couldn’t chat due to the time difference (and Lena refused to allow Emma to sacrifice her sleep for her) Lena would find herself finishing work at a reasonable hour.

Finally Lena turns away from the work and stands, rolling her chair under the desk and smoothing out her grey dress.

The pair walk out of LCorp in comfortable silence towards Sam’s car, nodding at employees as they went.

As Lena settles into the passenger seat she notices her brunette friend overly tapping the steering wheel.

“Sam? Is there something wrong?”

“Erm, could we- I mean, if it’s okay. Could we listen to Emma sing?”

Lena hesitates for a moment. Wanting to keep the songs her girlfriend has sent her private and only for herself.

But the raven haired beauty reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone. Connecting it to Sam’s car and choosing a song for the pair to listen to.

The car is filled with the gentle sound of a piano and soon Emma starts singing.

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live

The corner of Lena’s lips pull up slightly as she listens to her girlfriend. Images flash through her mind of a house the pair would buy and make a home. Where everything that has happened over the past few weeks would be a distance memory. They would both be happy, healthy and even more in love.

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do See I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue Anyway the thing is what I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Lena can’t help but feel a slight blush build up in her cheeks. Remembering the way Emma would stare into her eyes as they lay on the bed, saying she was taking in every detail of colour and noticing the flecks of blue in them.

Lena also notices how Sam glances over at her every so often and chooses to ignore her friend. Instead turning her head to gaze out of the window and keeps listening to her girlfriend’s declaration of love.

And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple, but now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is now you're in the world

The raven haired beauty rests her head against the side of the car door. She takes a big intake of breath and lets it out gradually.

“Lena?” She hears Sam ask softly.

“Yea?”

“You okay?”

Lena pauses as she chooses her answer. Knowing if she lies Sam will pick up on it.

“No, but I will be.” Lena slowly lifts her head up and gives Sam a small smile. The song ends and Lena chooses another more upbeat one that has Sam tapping along on the steering wheel.

An idea starts forming and Lena bites the inside of her lip. “So, did Lucy mention where Emma will be staying after she leaves the DEO?”

“No. I know she’s going to talk to Emma about it soon. Why?”

“Do- do you think Emma would move in with me?” Lena asks quietly, purposefully not looking at Sam as she says it.

“Most definitely!” Sam makes Lena jump with her loud, enthusiastic response. “I mean, she’s totally in love with you and it’s not like your relationship is brand new.” Sam beams at her friend. “Also you guys totally failed in the lesbian stereotype! You should have moved in together on the second date right?”

Lena chuckles and shakes her head. Secretly she would have loved to have moved in with Emma straight away, they were practically living at each other’s apartments anyway, even before their relationship developed further.

“Okay, I’m going to ask her. Today.” Lena says mostly to herself and nods slowly.

“Yes!” Sam can’t help but smile brightly at her friend and a surge of happiness fills the brunette. Finally some good news among the chaos of the past few weeks.

The raven haired beauty turns to smile nervously at Sam. “She has to say yes first.”

Sam scoffs. “Are you kidding me right now? Really?” Sam can’t help but raise her eyebrows. “Lee if you asked Emma to marry you, right now, I have no doubt in my mind she would.”

At that Lena’s smile lights up her whole face as she imagines Emma in a bridal gown. Walking towards her with a radiant smile on her face.

‘Lena Danvers.’ The raven haired beauty tests the name in her mind and settles back into her seat. Going over what the venue would look like, whether Emma would want a big wedding or something more intimate.

But soon the brunette starts feeling frustrated as the car crawls along the road. “Urgh this traffic!”

“Must be some roadworks happening.”

“Yea, or there's a gathering outside Em’s apartment again.”

“Oh?”

“Yea, more and more fans have been showing up to pay their respects and show their support.” Sam says casually as she places her elbow on the car window and rests her head against her hand. “She’s gained an even bigger following than before. Lucy’s been working non stop to try and contain the true story. Apparently she’s gonna ask Emma to stage some photos and create a timeline.” Sam quickly glances over at her friend as she provides the information Lucy had discussed with her. A deep frown is etched on Lena's face and her mouth opens to speak, but Sam stops her before she can ask any questions. “Best to talk to Lucy about it.”

Lena nods and turns back to stare out of the window. Her mind races with what Lucy could have planned. Guessing that Emma would need to be kept out of the public eye for a while due to the injuries she had received.

‘Well she shouldn’t be breathing at all.’ Lena’s mind whispers and she immediately feels sick. But the feeling soon fades as she focuses on Emma’s voice.

The car slowly makes progress down the street when it comes to a halt outside a florist.

“Do you think this traffic will clear in the next few minutes?” Lena asks quickly.

“No, doesn’t look like it.” Sam whines frustratedly, slamming her head back on the head rest.

“I’m getting some flowers.” Suddenly Lena grabs her phone, unbuckles and jumps out of the car before Sam can react or say anything.

Lena ignores the looks people give her as she strides confidently across the road towards the small florist. She marvels at the colours of the flowers and heads inside.

“Welcome! Welcome!” A kind elderly couple greet her behind the counter.

“How may I help you today dear?” The gentleman asks her. Lena immediately notices recognition in his eyes but he doesn’t say anything more. Which she is grateful for.

“I would like to purchase a bouquet for my girlfriend please.”

“Ah! Any special occasion?” The elderly woman asks kindly as she starts gathering some flowers to show the CEO.

“Er- no, not particularly. She’s in hospital at the moment and I wanted to cheer her up, show her my love?” Lena cringes slightly at how she doesn’t know what to say. Not wanting to give away Emma’s state.

“Ah of course. Well our prices range differently, depending on what you choose. But, as it’s you and these are for our favourite customer, we are going to give them to you for free.” The elderly gentleman smiles kindly at her.

Lena blinks a few times and her eyebrows rise.

“Thank you sir, but I insist on paying.”

“Nonsense! Emma has been a valuable customer over the years and we were both utterly devastated by the horrific attack that befalled her.”

“Truly tragic.” His wife nods along before staring Lena in the eyes. “But is she getting better?”

“Slowly but surely.” Lena tries to reassure them.

“Good, that’s good.” The elderly gentleman nods. “Now my dear, as I am sure you are aware flowers have different meanings. What would you like the bouquet to represent.”

Lena thinks for a moment. “My love for her.” She simply says.

The couple smile at her. “Right!” The lady claps her hands and starts gathering flowers together, quickly explaining what each one means and for Lena’s approval.

Lena reaches into her bag for her card, still wanting to pay for the beautiful bouquet.

“No.” The gentleman holds out a hand and smiles at Lena’s confused expression. “Please, it is the least we can do for her.”

Lena nods but sneakily reaches into her purse and places a few hundred bills in a tip jar on the counter.

“I know she isn’t with it properly but when she can if you could give Emma our love we’d really appreciate it.” The lady says kindly as she hands Lena the beautiful bouquet of flowers. “Who knows maybe the colours will help revive her.”

“I hope so and I definitely will.” Lena cradles the flowers carefully, gazing at the roses, tulips, baby breath and daisies. Hoping she can remember all the different meanings to tell her girlfriend. “Thank you again.” Lena smiles at the couple and leaves the shop. Waving at them as she opens the door and steps out into the street.

The raven haired beauty glances around for Sam’s car and sees it near the end of the street. Lena quickly makes her way down the pavement and through the traffic to get back to the car. Sam unlocks the doors and Lena gracefully slides in.

“Wow, they look lovely.” Sam stares at the bouquet.

“They do don’t they?” Lena smiles and smells the flowers.

“Can you play more of Emma’s songs please?”

“Sure.” Lena quickly links her phone back to Sam’s car and chooses a new song for them to listen to.

The pair stay in comfortable silence as they listen to Emma’s music and crawl through the busy streets of the city.

-- -- --

Finally they make it to the DEO after picking up some food for everyone. Thank goodness Lena thought to order while they were stuck in traffic. Especially as they got food for Kara too. The waiter had given Lena a questioning look when they handed the box over to her. Lena responded by tilting her head slightly and giving one of her cold CEO stares. Only when she placed the box in the boot of Sam’s car did she realise she could have just smiled at them. Sometimes old habits are hard to break.

“Here let me take the food and you hold the flowers.” Sam quickly takes a hold of the box and Lena closes the trunk. The pair quickly make their way inside.

“Good evening.” Agent Vasquez nods at them in greeting.

“Evening Agent.” Sam smiles at her. “Oh could you do me a favour?”

“Depending what it is ma’am.” Agent Vasquez places her hands behind her back, standing at ease.

Sam places the box on the floor and takes out a few bags of food. Leaving most still left in the box. “Could you please give this food to our friends in the main cell downstairs?”

Agent Vasquez tilts her head forward and squats down to pick the box up. “Of course ma’am.”

“Thank you.” Lena responds with a small smile and heads towards the elevator. The pair first go to the labs and Sam hands over Eliza, J’onn, Winn, Brainy and Nia’s order.

Soon the pair make it to Emma’s floor and the anticipation builds within Lena at the thought of seeing her girlfriend. She knocks on the door and softly opens it, knowing Emma can’t call out to give them permission to enter.

“Hi!” Lucy greets the pair as they enter and Sam responds but the raven haired beauty focuses on her girlfriend. A smile spreads across her face seeing how engrossed Emma is in her painting. Noticing the cute way she sticks the tip of her tongue out.

Lena places the flowers on the coffee table and slowly approaches the blonde beauty. The noise of her heels filling the room. But still Emma doesn’t look up. Lena gazes down at what Emma is painting. She takes a quick intake of breath at what she sees. Amazed by the detail within it.

It seems to be from Emma’s point of view, showing Alex and Kara sitting on Emma’s bed. The pair are laughing and smiling brightly up at her with their hands joined together with Emma’s. Tears are within both of their eyes and Lena can tell the sisters were sharing a special moment together.

Lena resists the urge to kiss Emma’s head and instead heads back to the sofa.

“She’s been doing that for hours.” Lucy follows Lena over to the sofas and sniffs the air, smelling the food within the bags. Her stomach loudly rumbles making the trio laugh.

They look over at the blonde whose tongue is still poking out as she paints.

“Nothing can break her focus.” Lucy laughs and sits next to Sam.

“Oh no, I’m sure there's something or, someone, that could.” Sam raises an eyebrow at Lena and a slight blush colours her cheeks, remembering how Sam had found the lovers in the morning.

“How has she been?” Lena asks as she pulls out her meal and starts eating.

“Alright, I guess.” Lucy glances sadly over at her friend.

A hint of a frown appears on Lena’s forehead. “Sam mentioned you have a plan to move forward?”

Lucy nods and dives into detail of the plans she had told Emma earlier in the day. About creating video and images to release to the media at specific times in the upcoming months. How Emma will have to stay out of the public eye.

“I was also thinking…” Lena pauses and quickly glances over at Emma, who was still completely submerged in her task. Lena turns back to Lucy who studies her closely. The CEO leans in and Lucy copies her. “About asking Emma to move in with me.” The raven haired beauty says quietly. Not wanting her girlfriend to overhear.

A wide smile breaks across Lucy’s face and she nods. “I think that will work perfectly. I noticed how worried Emma got when I mentioned she could leave here soon.”

Lena lets out a breath, relieved that Lucy agrees.

The brunette keeps smiling at the news, hoping this will help Emma’s recovery. “Oh and Winn mentioned about developing a face modifier which Emma will have to wear when she’s out in public. He’s going to discuss it with you and see what can be done.”

Immediately Lena’s eyes light up with interest and Sam smiles at her expression of wonder. Almost expecting Lena to jump up and stride from the room to find Winn in the lab.

But the trio continue chatting and eating until they hear Emma place her brush into the cup of water. Lena looks over at the blonde and beams when their eyes connect.

Lena places her empty food container on the coffee table and picks up the bouquet of flowers. She hides them behind her back when she stands and approaches her girlfriend, her nerves prickle near the surface.

‘What if Emma says no? What if she doesn’t love me?’  

Pushing her thoughts away Lena sits on the bed next to Emma and presents the flowers to the blonde. She smiles at how wide Emma’s eyes go, how she instantly reaches out to feel the softness of the rose and studies the detail of the flowers.

Instead of asking Emma then and there Lena chickens out and starts reciting the different meanings of the flowers. Only getting distracted for a moment as Emma keeps lovingly kissing her cheek, but Lena stops the blonde, determined to tell her girlfriend the meaning of every flower. Totally not because she was scared to ask her question… Nope.

‘Luthors don’t get scared.’ Lena will always try and reassure herself in times like this.

But finally the pair kiss, only to be interrupted by Lucy pretending to heave.

Lena laughs when Emma flips the other brunette off and focuses back on the blonde. Her green eyes study her love’s face.

“So, how’s your head?” Lena asks as she runs her fingers gently through Emma’s hair and watches the blonde lift her hands to sign.

“I’ve had no complaints.”

Immediately Lena lifts her head back and laughs loudly causing the others in the room to question her. The raven haired beauty repeats the joke and the other pair laugh along.

Lena feels Emma snuggle into her side and the raven haired beauty wraps an arm around her.

“We’ve brought you some food love.” Lena says gently and kisses the top of Emma’s head. “Are you hungry?”

She feels Emma nod and goes to get up to get the container but Emma becomes a koala bear and holds on to her with a vice-like grip.

“Ow, Em, not so tight!” Lena laughs out but Emma instantly lets go, trying to move away from the CEO. But she can’t due to Lena’s own hold on her. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you just love me so much.” The raven haired beauty smiles reassuringly and gently boops Emma’s nose. Making the blonde adorably scrunch her face up.

“Here you go Em.” Sam places Emma’s food on the tray table. Emma gives her a look of gratitude. “Shall I move the picture so you don’t get anything on it?”

Emma nods as she opens the lid and shoves a huge cunk into her mouth. Hesitantly wrapping an arm around her girlfriend, making sure she doesn’t squeeze her too hard this time.

Sam clears the table of the painting supplies and her eyes widen as she stares at the painting while placing it on top of a chest of drawers.

“Wow Em. This is so good.”

“Let me see!” Lucy rushes over and gapes at it. “Awww I love it!”

Emma buries her head into Lena’s shoulder, feeling embarrassed from the praise. The raven haired beauty grins and kisses Emma’s head.

A knock makes the women look over at the door and Emma peeking slightly over Lena’s shoulder to see who it is.

The door opens and J’onn enters with Eliza following behind him. “Lucy, we are ready to go down to the cells.”

Emma sits up at J’onn’s words and stares at Lucy, desperately wanting to go with her. She turns to her girlfriend and signs.

“What’s going on?”

Lena repeats the question and Lucy approaches Emma’s bed, knowing she needs to be completely honest with the blonde.

“We aren’t making any progress with who took your sisters. Whoever they are they covered their tracks well.” Lucy rubs her shoulder as she looks apologetically at the pair on the bed. “We have the go ahead from your sister's therapists that we can ask them more questions. Especially as the R.K levels are almost depleted.”

Emma sits up even straighter at this new piece of information, looking more alert then before and grabbing Lena’s hand, who squeezes it three times.

“Can I come with you?” Sam asks confidently, ready for the looks of confusion the superfriends give her. “Well, with my time as Reign, I understand what it’s like having blackouts and waking up realising something, that is out of your control, has happened.”

J’onn and Lucy share a look and the brunette nods. “Very well.” J’onn agrees and gets ready to head down to the cells.

Emma fidgets and Lucy’s eyes are drawn to her. She wants to cry at the hope etched onto Emma’s face.

“I will ask them if they are ready to see you. But please prepare yourself that they still may not be ready.” Lucy begs as if reading Emma's mind. The blonde slowly nods and her shoulder sag.

“It will be okay sweetheart.” Eliza tries to reassure her baby girl. “They are making progress, these things just take time.”

Emma nods and motions to the painting. “Can someone give this to them? Would that be okay?” Lena speaks out what Emma signs and Sam carefully picks up the painting.

The blonde smiles at her, placing her hand to her lips, moving it forward and down, thanking Sam. Almost like she’s blowing Sam a kiss.

“You’re welcome Emma.” Sam returns the smile and heads towards the door.

Emma shifts so she can look at her girlfriend. “Will you go see them?”

Lena blinks in surprise at Emma’s request. “Are you sure?”

Emma nods. “Kara needs her best friend. Plus mom can keep me company.”

Lena stares into fading bloodshot eyes for a moment. “Alright. Can I have a kiss?” The raven haired beauty smiles shyly at her girlfriend and Emma tilts her head forward, connecting their lips.

“You guys are just too much.” Lucy mutters and Sam pushes her shoulder while shaking her head at the other brunette.

The pair were adorably, but also sickeningly cute.

Lena regretfully moves away from Emma and gracefully slides off the bed. But she can’t move away as the blonde as she won’t let go of her hand.

Lena turns to her girlfriend and smiles sweetly at her, also raising an eyebrow. “Em-ma.”

Slowly Emma lets go of Lena's hand and the raven haired beauty follows the others out of the room. She turns back at the doorway. Emma lifts her hand and does a sad little wave which Lena copies.

“Come on lovebird.” Sam gently grabs Lena’s arm and pulls her away from the door. When they near the elevator Sam wraps an arm around her friend and leans into her ear. “Chicken.” The brunette whispers and laughs at the look of outrage on Lena’s face.

“Hey! I-er-it just-I-” Lena stops and huffs as the superfriends turn to look at her in shock. Rarely, if ever, hearing the badass CEO stutter. The elevator doors open and the group step inside and wait while the elevator descends.

Lucy massages her shoulders and huffs, catching Winn’s attention.

“Lucy? You okay?” Winn asks in concern.

“No, my back and shoulders are killing me.” Lucy moans while flexing and stretching her back, trying to relieve the pain there.

“What did you do?” Sam asks with a frown.

“Nothing.” Lucy says bewildered but pauses as she thinks through her day. “Well, I did jump onto Emma to stop her going down to the cells. Maybe I just pulled something.”

Sam's face morphs into one of deep thought as she contemplates Lucy’s words. Her eyes find Lena’s who tilts her head as she tries to figure out what Sam is thinking.

The doors open and the superfriends make their way to the cell holding Alex and Kara.

Lena can’t help but feel apprehensive and a bit guilty at the sight of Kara and Alex. She hasn’t properly spoken to the sisters since their imprisonment. Her main focus has solely been on Emma.

She hangs back as the others enter the room and make their way over to the cell. Nia and Brainy are already in front of the sisters as Brainy works through his data and Nia is sitting on the floor having had her meal with Kara and Alex.

“Guys!” Kara jumps to her feet and smiles brightly at the group. “It’s so good to see you all!” Her eyes meet each of the superfriends and widen for a moment when they connect with her best friend.

“Any news?” Alex says standing next to her sister and places her hands on her hips. Immediately morphing into Director Danvers.

“Still no leads.” J’onn says quietly and Alex clenches her jaw while Kara crosses her arms.

“We’ve swept the area and any samples we take comes up with nothing.” Winn holds up his tablet to the sisters to show them his data.

Lena can’t imagine how the pair must be feeling. Obviously as frustrated, if not more, then Lena, to know their attackers are walking free out in the world which makes Lena’s blood boil.

“Do you remember anything new?” Lucy asks and Brainy pulls up some photos of other locations. “Or do these pictures mean anything?”

Brainy holds out his tablet to show the pair. They study them intently.

“No.” Alex huffs heavily and Kara shakes her head, avoiding everyone's eyes as she wills herself to remember anything that would help. “It’s still too fuzzy.”

“One minute we were with Emma and I flew off with Alex and then next we are on the way to her apartment to-” Kara motions her hand, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“I just remember darkness and feeling cold, pain. The sound of running water and a hum.” Alex says hauntingly.

“I know how overwhelming all this can be.” Sam draws the sisters attention to her. She fiddles with the edge of Emma’s painting. Wanting desperately to say the right words. “When I would wake up after Reign took over, it was the most terrifying feeling. To have these fuzzy memories but not being able to focus on them. I just wanted you both to know you aren’t alone in this.” Sam says passionately and Kara takes it in, nodding her thanks and taking a deep breath.

Alex continues looking over the data, trying to make her brain remember something useful. Anything.

“Yes, we will figure this out. Don’t lose hope.” J’onn looks between them.

The sisters nod.

“How-” Kara pauses, biting her lip. “How is she? Emma.”

“She’s desperate to see you both.” Lena says softly, making the sisters tense simultaneously.

“Yea, I had to jump on her back to stop her coming down here earlier.” Lucy jokes lightly but subconsciously rubs her shoulder and Alex frowns at the brunette.

“She painted something for you.” Sam quickly interrupts when she sees the redhead opening her mouth to ask a question. Sam holds the painting in front of her and turns it so the sisters can see.

Immediately both their eyes mist over and Kara’s lips disappear as she tries to stop herself from crying out and Alex digs her nails into her palms.

“She knows you both aren’t ready to see her.” Lena says gently, seeing their distress. “But Emma wanted you to know how much she loves you. That nothing can or will ever change that.”

Alex shakes her head at Lena’s words. ‘How can Emma be so forgiving?’

“Because you are her sisters.” J’onn responds. He didn’t mean to hear Alex’s thoughts, at the moment they are just so loud, as if she is screaming them at him.

“We’ll think about it.” Kara says and looks at her sister who does a slight nod in agreement. Despite the many hours together they haven’t spoken about the attack. Instead they are pushing their pain away and hiding it, pretending it doesn’t exist.

“That’s all we ask.” J’onn reassures them.

“What’s the news on her voice?” Alex says while crossing her arms and Lucy steps closer to the sisters.

“Well, I had a chat with Doctor Sloan and he feels ready to operate soon. Maybe in the next month or so.” She says while looking at both Kara and Alex. Lena squints her eyes slightly at the news, trying to remember if Emma had communicated this with her.

“That’s good, right?” Kara asks desperately and lowers her arms.

“It is.” Lucy smiles. But she is holding back key information that there is a chance that the surgery won’t be successful the first time. Feeling that it could dash the little hope the sisters are holding onto. Even Alex looks a bit lighter from the news.

“Please tell Emma we love her too.” Alex responds softly and focuses on Lena. “Give her a hug from me.”

“And me.” Kara adds quickly, smiling cautiously at her best friend.

“Of course!” Lena nods while taking a nervous step closer as she fiddles with her hands. “I actually wanted your opinion on something.”

-- -- --

Emma quietly strums her guitar while her mom reads in the chair next to her. The blonde pauses to write down the notes and chords, finding it slightly frustrating she can’t sing them out. But she continues on and tries to match the pitch with what she is singing in her head.

The door opening makes Emma whip her head around. She smiles at Lena as she closes it behind her and comes over to her. Emma shuffles across the bed, allowing Lena to sit next to her and the blonde carefully places her guitar on the stand by the bed.

“Hi love.” Lena kisses Emma’s lips as her girlfriend turns back around. The raven haired beauty smiles at Eliza, who watches them over her book. “J’onn is asking if you can meet him in the lab?”

“Thank you Lena.” Eliza closes her book, stands and kisses Emma’s forehead and surprises Lena when she does the same to her.

Emma smiles at her shocked girlfriend and gently strokes her cheek. Waiting for her mom to leave the room before kissing Lena again. Before things get heated Emma pulls back and signs. “How are they?”

“Well, they send their love and promise to think about seeing you soon.” Lena watches as Emma’s eyes grow sad. “I’m sorry.”

Emma nods, lowering her head and runs her thumb over Lena’s hand.

The raven haired beauty goes to open her mouth but finds the words she wants to say get stuck in her throat. Emma immediately notices and looks up at her girlfriend. Tilting her head questioningly.

“I- erm…” Lena lets out a small laugh. “This is ridiculous. The famous Lena Luthor stumbling on her words.”

Emma smiles slightly and squeezes Lena’s hand three times.

“I love you too.” Lena leans in and presses her forehead against Emma’s. She takes a deep breath and pulls away again so she can see her girlfriend properly.

“So, I’ve been thinking and I was wondering, when you are discharged…”

Lena fidgets and momentarily looks away.

“That… Whether you would like to, I mean you can say no, no pressure, but if you would like to come and…”

Emma squeezes her girlfriend’s hand, making Lena lift her eyes and gaze at her.

“Live with me?” Lena’s voice goes higher in pitch as she asks the question. Her nerves and Irish twang coming through.

Emma’s mouth drops open and her eyes fill with tears before smiling so brightly Lena thinks it outshines the sun.

“Is that a yes?” Lena asks tenderly.

Emma responds by vigorously nodding before leaping onto Lena’s lap and kissing her. Making Lena smile happily into the kiss as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend.

(Part Twenty Two)