#a lot of this doesnt make much sense but maybe someone saw my like 3 htd posts and decided. yeah this is my htd mutual

[thetisming]

actually i'm gonna do that too

(we dont have to be mutuals for you to vote! it can just be what you follow me for instead)

[koolades-world]

i saw the cat and corvid mc ones and i wanna see dog-like mc so bad, like one whos very loyal, loves cuddling with loved ones, if they had a tail and one of the gang came home itd be faster than a helicopter i think, if they see anyone with food theyd just come up to them with their puppy dog eyes, they just lounge around in random spots nearby the characters or even lays their head/body on them. sometimes theyll be playing with something and be possessive over it and a "Whats that in your mouth" situation comes in and they run away taking random stuff they found lying around the HoL, maybe theyre also rly playful and love playfighting and stuff like tug of war

thats just a few things that come off the top of my head lol how the mc is like is up to you, sorry if theres too much or doesnt make sense! xoxo

haha hi!!! yes of course!

this is such a fun idea. i may or may not have based this reader off my goofy goober of a dog. she's so sweet but sometimes i wonder if theres even a single thought in that head of hers haha

enjoy <3

Dog-like Mc

Lucifer

getting lock out of his bedroom always proceeds as such: being sad that you're locked out, sitting sadly in front of the door and scratching at it, lucifer feeling bad and eventually letting you in so you can sit on his bed and ruin the freshly made sheets lol

rinse and repeat the cycle nightly

the puppy dog eyes work very well on him

since he handles his brothers so often, he's good at getting you to listen when you're off in lala land or something along those lines

Mammon

he himself is kinda dog like, so the two of you get along pretty well

both of you would follow the other to the worlds end <33

you probably steal his sunglasses from time to time and he has to hunt you down to get them back, just because when he said “drop it” you accepted that as a challenge lol

the only difference in the two of you, however, is that you’re much more open with how you feel and will not hesitate to admit that you love him even if it flustered him haha

Levi

he's a little wary of having you in his room

he has lots of valuables that he treasures and while he's a little afraid you'll steal and or mess something up, he genuinely cares about you and is willing to get past that

however he did need a day away from you after you drooled on his Ruri pillow haha

after he got to know you better, he really appreciated always having an outgoing buddy to go out in public with someone that wasn't one of his brothers

Satan

sitting with him while he reads!! randomly laying your head in his lap <3

you always check out what's in his mug while he reads despite the fact that it never changes (it's always tea) but maybe one day it'll be something delicious, like chips haha

he's wary of taking you into a cat cafe, but surprisingly, all the cats love you!

now he's questioning if he's really a cat, or if he's a dog person lol

Asmo

you let him do any kind of skincare and treatments he wants on you

and he thinks it's great! until he sees you at the end of the day and it kinda looks like you swam in a mud puddle

he's not going to be the one to subject you to a bath so he always shoos you off and tells you to go clean up before you can get something else done (my dog hates water lol)

if he's ever missing one of his rather tasty smelling skincare products or a brush, or something like that, he just opens a bag of chips and summons you + beel (see below lol)

Beel

please the amount of food you're getting from him

those puppy dog eyes work so well and he can't help but give in every single time

both of you come running every time someone opens a chip bag even if it's on the other side of the house haha. if the others have issues finding you, that's how they do it quick and easy

every meal of yours is eaten together, of course

Belphie

the realest cat and dog dynamic ever!

please there's no way you're not jumping on his bed just for fun while he's sleeping in it. he's convinced it's to annoy him but it's just you being incredible oblivious and wanting to have fun

you guys are best friends. i don't make the rules haha

when you do want to nap with him, however, it's the best nap you've ever had and is probably a very cute pic

[kymsys]

(okay i was going about my day yesterday but i really couldn't get the merman au out of my head😭😭 i just imagine for a while somehow geto managed to sneak satoru into the palace and then it's a whole ordeal trying to hide him. panicked geto and oblivious gojo and really for all that image is stuck in my head i still have yet to write a proper interaction w them but!! it's not proofread so sorry if there are mistakes and it's a bit scattered but i had to get this one scene out that was brewing in my mind so🥺 ignore this if you want❗️❗️)

--

From the mezzanine, everyone looked like ants. Suguru had to squint to make out familiar faces in the crowd, and even then, the only person he could identify was a distant aunt of his that he had never really liked. Usually, he'd have been able to pick apart anyone of significance; he'd have known their name, their title, their interests. 

Suguru would've known, he always memorises the details before public events — he spends days in his room at a time, talking into the mirror and telling his reflection things about these people who he has never met. Perhaps, lately, he'd been busy with Satoru.

Suguru smiled. He didn't feel as guilty as he thought he would.

A hand clapped on his back, and he jolted. Shoko beside him, cocking a brow. “What's got you looking like a dumbass?” Her voice was flat, eyes busy scanning the crowd and Suguru knew who she was looking for.

He cleared his throat. He couldn't really tell her that he was keeping a siren in the little pond in his private garden — well, it wasn't exactly little, but that information held no relevance anyway. Shoko was his dear friend, and he knew she would always support him, but he had to keep Satoru a secret, more for her sake. Suguru bit his lip in thought. If only Satoru didn't have such a strong taste for human flesh.

“Is meat more nutritious than fish?”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Suguru winced at the look he was being sent. He didn't mean to blurt the question out, but he'd been thinking about it for days. The salmon that he'd been feeding Satoru probably wasn't enough to sustain a creature his size — especially when he was so active — which would mean he burnt through a lot of calories very quickly. “Utahime is on the balcony,” Suguru pointed in the general direction, giving Shoko a pat on the shoulder, “good luck.”

From his peripheral vision, he could see Shoko roll her eyes as he walked away, but she muttered a small 'thanks' before she turned to find the other woman. He was glad she finally had someone to open up to other than him — he saw how happy Shoko was with Utahime, and with the burden of inheriting the throne giving her sleepless nights, it was all Suguru could want for his closest friend.

He turned his attention back to the winding flight of stairs before him. Now, to find some meat.

KINGGGGGGGGGGGG (can i call you like that??)!!!! ♥ GAHHH IM SO HONOURED AND HAPPY, you actually wrote MORE??? bless you, this is truely amazing, this has me by my throat. thank you so fucking much, i love it!! <3 WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER IGNORE THIS, are u out of your mind. i LOVEEEE the way suguru keeps thinking about his little "pet" gojo and what would probably be the best food for him! like indeed he is a massive creature, he will probably need...a lot?? but also at the same time i can imagine that he is maybe not that....needy. isnt that a thing with lots of sharks or deep sea fish that they eat very little, just because its so hard to get by food? so their organism is evolved to survive on very little food and thrive nonetheless. MAYBE suguru just thinks gojo is in need of lots of food, but actually gojo just likes to eat bc he enjoys the food, but doesnt neccessarily need it?(he is also a mystical creature, so in that sense anything is possible really xD) I ALSO LOVE HOW SUGURU JUST RANDOMLY ASKS SHOKO ABOUT NUTRITIONS AND SHOKO IS JUST LIKE WHAT, i adore that ; u ; <3 AND OMG gojo lives in a pond in his private garden??? HOW CUTE!! so that makes me wonder (pls indulge with me) why would he bring this technically "monster" into his home? generally i would think maybe that a creature like that needs its space and would need their freedom? so MAYBEEEEE smth has happened? maybe gojo got hurt, maybe even when he was caught in the fishernet situation? MAYBE suguru needs to take care of him until he gets better and maybe gojo, the curious creepy creature that he is, enjoys the change of environment and the new feeling of being cared for?? its exciting for both! what do you think ?? 👉👈 maybe you had a different idea?? im so excited to hear your thoughts!! AND AGAIN THANK YOU, i love it SO much, i feel so lucky that you actually like it so much that you wanna write about it T___T ♥

EVERYONE LOOK !!!!!!!!

[pjshermann]

It took me a couple days to compile them but here is my first round of head canons:

- so many charity shops while in college! basically everything they all wear is bought second hand (Jude always feels too bad to haggle with the sellers and tries to donate anything he doesnt use enough back)

- Jb gets light freckles in the summer

- Like Harold, julia never expected to be a mother

- Harold started cutting Julias hair for her when they began dating: just small trims before he got better at it and is now able to do it consistently decent job

- The first book Jude read in his dorm was the brothers karamazov

- in boston, malcom and jude would stay up late doing puzzles which they spread out onto the already tiny floor

- Jude and malcom are the two who read the most out of the group and jude gets a lot of his book recommendations from malcom

- malcom had a phase of trying to smoke cigarettes in college but let it go after 3 months

- in college. Jb pierced willems ear with a safety pin but it was soonly taken out after getting infected

- malcom sends out an elaborate christmas card from the group. harold keeps it in his desk drawer

- all the way through undergrad to law school, harold kept birds as pets

- harolds new york accent is subtle and mainly comes out when hes laughing

- malcom and willem can always fall asleep on airplanes, jb and jude never can

- jude attentive when it came to taking care of the others if they were sick, making them meals and fussing over their temperature

- one year in college, jb gets really into sewing and tries (and partially succeeds) to make a couple sweaters for willem

- I love the bit about Julia (and willem) loving the outdoors and I like to think that she grew up spending a lot of time in rural areas: maybe staying on her aunts farm and fishing and tending to the animals

- Harold keeps jude’s graduation photo in his home study, his work office, and his wallet

- Both Harold and Judes hair started graying decently early

- Once harold adopted him, Jude tried to learn a bit of yiddish

I also saw that someone asked for domestic jude/willem HCs so here are a few of mine:

- when touching, jude always like to have a hand on willems neck or face— he likes feeling the warmth and having the sense of comfort that its because of him

- I love the line about willem touching judes eyebrow and I think he sometimes will repeatedly do that when jude is tired but can’t fall asleep

- Once sex is established as not part of their relationship, jude can relax more into light hearted physical affection: willem scattering kisses on his collar bones until he gives into the ticklish feeling and laughs, mindlessly leaving a gentle hand on willems stomach in the morning, willem sleepily nuzzling into his neck

- jude mumbling to himself while he reads and willem feeling drunk on the sound

- Willem and Jude like to go see community theatre shows when they have time to support the young actors

OooHHHHH I love these headcanons and I have some Things To Say about them

Harold cutting Julia’s hair

- oh man. Oh MAN. that is too adorable. I love that so much. Cutting his wife’s hair for her STOPPP. Imagine Jude watching them, amused at his parents antics. Maybe you should quit professorhood and become a hairstylist Harold. he just tells Jude quiet you.

Jude and malcom are the two who read the most out of the group and jude gets a lot of his book recommendations from malcom

- now this is the one headcanon I can’t see at first. It’s said in the book that Jude and JB are the novel readers of the group. Malcolm on the other hand, actively refused to engage with literature as a rebellion against his mother (who I think is a literary agent?) and as a result, is more behind than the others when it comes to literature (i.e. discovering post-modernism much later than they did). However, that being said, this could be such a cute concept of Jude (being the one who loves literature and novels the most) helping introduce Malcolm to a love of literature and then Malcolm discovers his own favourite genres and authors and series and recommends them to Jude. Malcolm could be the one who’s more into contemporary literature, while Jude is very much a classics lover

malcom had a phase of trying to smoke cigarettes in college but let it go after 3 months

- MALCOLM AND HIS PHASES !!! The poor boy desperately trying to figure out who he is. I have not forgotten his college attempt of trying to grow out an Afro but it ending up stringy and flat. Malcolm going through every phase imaginable in college and his friends watching and trying to be supportive (well. not JB. He’s fully mocking him every chance)

Harold keeping birds as pets

- gonna be an angsty little shit about this. Brother Luke also kept a bird as a pet. ;) parallels in Jude’s father (“father”) figures oh man

Harold’s New York accent is subtle

- HAROLD AND HIS NEW YORK ACCENT. I absolutely see Harold having a noticeable NY accent, seeing as he’s an older generation too and I think older NYers usually have thicker accents. Im walkin’ ‘ere! >:(

malcom and willem can always fall asleep on airplanes, jb and jude never can

- NEITHER CAN I !!! I’ve slept on planes on rare occasions, mostly when I was younger. But now? The seats are just too uncomfortable and I don’t want to sleep anyways. I could see Jude finding a lot of difficulty with plane seats because of his back. JB, I imagine, is like me; just too excited on the plane to fall asleep (I love air travel it’s so fun). Willem’s probably that guy who as soon as he sits down, puts on an sleep mask and takes a sleeping pill and just. Knocks right out. Malcolm just ends up falling asleep after watching some movies.

Harold keeps Jude’s graduation photo on his desk

- YES YES YES. I wrote a fic about this hehe

Both Harold and Judes hair started graying decently early

- From the stress they both endured in their lives :(. I’d imagine Harold’s hair started greying when Jacob fell ill. It’s said he would get so upset with grief and anger that he’d become sick, so greying prematurely is very much possible. Jude, we already know why he’d be greying. His body just carries stress constantly

jude mumbling to himself while he reads

- Jude being a mumbler reader……..oh my gaush. I love. His voice would probably sound so comforting

[ot3]

tangentially related to 30 rock... i just finished watching girls5eva because its the level of sitcom that's fine for me to watch while working and someone brouht it up in my inbox a week or so ago. but when i saw the tiny fey EP credit i was like ahhh okay that makes sense.

showrunner of girls5eva was meredith scardino who was a writer on kimmy schmidt, which also tracks. the 30 rock dna is really trickling down through those shows and i can't tell if its getting weaker as it goes or if its just that since this style of humor is no longer novel it doesnt hit as well

girls5eva was fine i watched the whole thing (i accidentally started on season 3 and did not realize until it was finished. i dont know why netflix decided to start this show at season 3 for me when i hadnt watched the previous ones?) and it definitely had some funny moments but i felt it just like it wasn't quite getting where it needed to humor-wise for me. like all of the ribbing about the horrible misogyny and shit that was just Everywhere in the 00s was fun but i think over all just nothing about it was fresh in a way it would have needed to be to make the show stand out

i never finished kimmy schmidt but i do remember it being pretty funny. havnet watched it since the first few seasons were originally airing, maybe ill go back and do that to compare. but theres also something to be said for how much shorter every show has to be now. girls5eva is 3 seasons with 22 episodes total (dont know if its getting a 4th but it's still listed as 2021- on everywhere), kimmy schmidt was 4 seasons with 51 episode. meanwhile 30 rock had 7 seasons and 139 ! episodes. that's a pretty fucking significant difference. so it may be that just having more leeway to throw spaghetti at the wall gives you the chance to be funnier.

im not exactly tapped in to the sitcom market but i feel like it's been probably around a decade since we've gotten a new one that's really managed to produce what i view as stand-out and novel humor. definitely the best one since 30 rock has been community, but i also do think brooklyn 99 managed to really nail a lot of good Bits even if the way it made people act was intolerable a lot of the time. captain holt you will always be famous. but other than those 2 i don't think anything really groundbreaking has been done in the US sitcom landscape since the aughts

im sorry abbott elementary stans its perfectly enjoyable television but it's just like Doing a Parks and Rec again which was in turn Doing An Office But Twee itself.

[softness-and-shattering]

About the Mean Girls musical movie

I know Ive had conversations before about the cultural context stuff, that it seems like the message was not as effective as the first movie when the stuff its talking about, how girls are wrong whatever they do and everything is up for criticism and filming, and you have to pretend to be sweet and kind fairy princesses instead of being allowed to be human. And Id have to go back and find those posts to see what I do and dont agree with now. Because I just saw the movie. And honestly, I liked it. A lot of the visuals were really fun and interesting, which I think is impressive in a movie that mostly takes place inside of a high school. Regina more than once looks like she's in a music video, and that works because shes so hyped, its like she lives in a reality where not only do people break into song, but she's always in a music video. She really sells the character, self-assured and in charge and perfectly manipulative, and even when she's being vulnerable you're like, but is this another deception? She's more villainous in this version, and by the end maybe more human as well. (also the costuming is phenomenal, that Halloween angel dress?? The entire Halloween Someone Get Hurts sequence might be my favourite. )

Also Renee Rapp, who plays Regina, is just incredibly hot. She also played Regina on Broadway so it makes sense she has the character down. Thats not film critique thats my personal admiration. Its almost a little silly with the "oh no Regina is gaining weight she cant fit her clothes" because she looks amazing. [Edit: She's also obviously - I was gonna say she seems older than the other "teens" but actually she's 24, so Im having a moment of feeling old. And she's actually the same age as Auli'i Cravalho who is a lot younger in my mind because holy shit Moana came out EIGHT years ago?? Angourie Rice/Cady is 23, Jaquel Spivy/Damian is 26, Avantika/Karen is 19, thats more the age I thought they were but not the cast seems to be mostly 23-26. Its so weird when times moves the same for people while your image of them in your head stays the same. So Rapp isn't older she's just a bit bigger (neutral/positive). And she's been playing the role for a long time. And Im allowed to find her hot because she's a goddamn adult and so am I. This paragraph is not critique it is me blogging on my blog. Now Im annoyed at myself for Caveats of Fear but Im gonna stop dwelling on that now.]

On that note, though I originally liked the musical quite a lot, the significant fatphobia in it soured it for me. And Im happy to say in the musical movie, they changed or omitted those lines. I was waiting to cringe and they just sang something else. So that was great. I think the only fat character was Damian (why does that suddenly look like a vampire name?) - Jaquel Spivy - and he seemed comfy and cool, no self deprecating fat jokes or anything. Generally the lines/jokes that were uncomfortable or a bit bigoted have been changed. Though there isnt any disability rep, and theres a random character the burn book claims puts alcohol in her inhaler, like a 3 second joke.

And the big thing is that a lot of the meanness is shown in montages of vertical video and comments - no-brand tiktok obviously - and I think thats pretty realistic, and also in the original theme of not being mean to peoples faces but talking all kinds of shit behind their backs. And I think the montage format is effective in mimicking that endless scroll eyes glazing over stuck in the doom scroll/stuck in the spectacle. The music was good. I really liked how they overlaid the Spring Fling/thematic music with the math competition. If anything, Cady is not as good of a character, her Plastic switch is basically overnight, the scene with Aaron at the party is still kinda of awkward, she doesnt get as much room to breathe, while almost everyone else comes off really well. Heck even the candy cane/glen coco guy did well, I was actually suprised at how differently and yet excellently the actors acted their lines, compared both to the previous movie and the musical. Auli'i is fantastic, scary Janis is *scary*. And I simultaneously want to be her best friend. (It certainly helps that her art is augmented with embroidery and she's carrying embroidery hoops in multiple scenes. Fiber arts my loves.)

When I first saw a trailer my thoughts were "ugh we dont need another movie of this," but I think Ive changed my mind. Its similar enough and different enough that for me its a good adaptation. Also - I almost forgot to say - Janis gets a girlfriend for Spring Fling. Its not a plot point, we're just montaging getting ready and Janis goes to pick her up (in the lavender suit), and Damian is taking photos with two other sapphic couples. And he gets a crush/admirer who again, is just there to be there and doesnt interfere with the main story. I might change my mind again once its had time to settle in my thoughts, but initial impression is that its a fun movie I would watch again. Maybe we want the social commentary to be more incisive than it is, and in the end it is entertainment that needs to not be too boring to hold peoples shortening attention spans. (also neutral). Maybe thats wishing for it to be a movie that its not trying to be, and thats always a recipe for disappointment and also not great or fair analysis. What a fantastic line to end on*.

[clonehub]

I feel like aside from not white washing the clones the bad batch might be better if crosshair wasnt redeemed. Like he uses being a good soldier as am excuse for committing atrocities but he actually is just ok with it and he doesnt get a convenient out of it being a chip and he willingly works for the empire would imo work better

Sorry an pt2 to that ask but like I know timblr loves their redemption arcs and calling anyone who dislikes them cops or morally wrong. But I just feel like acting like anyone and everyone can be redeemed is also just a bad lesson to teach and that redemption has to start with the character realizing they're wrong and wanting to do better key word being wanting, and I dont see that in crosshair. He doesnt come off as someone who wants to be redeemed, he seems pretty into the warcrime and evil. I hope I'm making sense.

I also wonder what TBB would be like if they'd gone the much riskier but potentially more fulfilling route of not redeeming Crosshair. They could make him a tragic character at that point, but only if they simultaneously make all of the bad batch at complete moral odds with him, but also still have faith in him.

Crosshair as he stands now has two reasons for why he joined the empire: arrogance/superiority and because he wasn't opposed to the violence. his leaving only addresses the former, and barely. as in, he says he left because the empire wasn't loyal to him. But the violence he committed against innocents, and the violence the Empire committed against entire groups of people, don't mean anything to him. If they did, he would have mentioned them.

Sason 3's emotional arc for him focuses on all the wrong things as they try to force a redemption that, to me, doesn't feel earned. Does crosshair respect the regs? No. I don't see that, at least. He maybe, at the most, tolerates them. But the writers use saving Howzer's life as a stand in for Crosshair actually doing the work of owning up to getting a lot of Howzer's men hurt/killed. Crosshair should have had to own up to the fact that he likely traumatized Omega by a) trying to get her shot, b) trying to set her on fire basically, and c) knowing that the Empire foreced him to do (a) and (b) and still choosing them over her.

I also don't think omega should have been so gungho to forgive him.

If they keep Crosshair evil, this can give the Batch permanent emotional consequences and conflicts to deal with. Maybe they all think differently about how to address the Crosshair Question. Maybe they all beg and plead with him—really plead—to join them, and when he refuses, they leave. And then he hems and haws over maybe being good, but his fatal flaw is that he will always fight to be at the top of a pyramid that was designed to keep him at the bottom. Family be damned. He needs his superiority affirmed.

They also could still redeem him (blegh) but really show us that he respects the regs as much as he respects himself and his brothers. That he values their insights, thoughts, and opinions, and does want to see them saved from Tantiss. He doesn't do any of this, of course, and the writers make no effort to show that side of him. You'll get fans who maybe will say that he does respect regs. It'll be like struggling to plug in a lamp with a short cable into a wall and then insisting the light is on.

I saw someone else say that sometimes the conclusions drawn or themes understood in TBB are all things that could be plausible if you stretched. Like yeah, that's a conclusion you can reach, but the pieces aren't really there, you know?

Crosshair gets forgiveness for the wrong things and doesn't really work for them at any point, in my opinion. I said this on a podcast I guested on about a year ago, but saving someone's life doesn't always mean you actually, really respect them. Many people are simply not comfortable with having someone die in front of them. Crosshair, despite how severe he could be and how space-racist he could be, didn't seem the type (to me) to willingly leave anyone to die. he sucked but he wasn't evil like that, hence why I don't count him saving Mayday on that ice planet as a major leap in morals the way audiences are expected to view it.

because, again, when he says why he left the empire, does he say "Because they mistreated clones like mayday the same way they mistreated me, and i realized that the Empire was only ever going to hurt everyone regardless of how we value ourselves, which made me realize im not better than the regs and also that the Empire, which wiped out the jedi and killed civilians, is actually atrocious"? No. He puts himself first: loyalty, and loyalty to him. Yeah, he's learned to be loyal to his brothers, but their moral differences not playing a part at all in their emotional conflicts is making me believe that if TBB had all decided to join the Empire, Crosshair never would have left for any other reason. Again, the atrocities are a non-issue to him.

(Crosshair and hunter argue, but it's about HUnter's alleged guilt over not rescuing omega but Crosshair being the one to get him out. Not Crosshair's antics being part of the reason why Tech is dead. Not Crosshair repeatedly endangering the squad after his chip's out because he thinks they ow him loyalty before they're required to stick to their morals).

This post has gotten away from me, so I'm going to leave it here. I've been toying around with a rewrite of them for some time, and I might make Crosshair the epitome of lateral oppression and self-loathing in a marginalized person. He needs the oppressor's approval, the oppressor's power, even if it might cost him his life.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

hi :) same anon who requested the eddie/wayne holiday traditions story. i loooooved it so much btw im sorry if i never sent that before! but i was hoping to request another holiday themed fic?

i was thinking maybe a couple of the school clubs like hellfire, drama, band etc come together for a holiday party. reader and eddie are just friends at this point but theyre secretly crushing on eachother ever since eddie got reader to stay after drama club to watch hellfire. and the whole time eddie convinces himself to tell reader he likes her but after misreading a situation between reader and another guy (maybe the is asking practicing how to ask someone else out and reader is helping him? idk if thatis too cliche lol) he gets sad and mopes the rest of the party even though his friends try to cheer him up. reader doesnt know why his mood has changed and he isnt his usual flirty self but she finally convinces him to talk and he admits his feeling and happily ever after <3

Request by anon 💞

Warnings; Insecure Eddie, tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, and fluff.

Likes or reblogs are always appreciated 💞💖 I don't give anyone permission to copy my work.

💞💞

There was a party going on at Hawkins High and all the clubs had come together for one night.

Band, Drama club, and Hellfire Club had all come together to hang out for the night.

Merriment was in the air and everyone was enjoying the atmosphere and mingling. Robin had even brought Steve and there was much enjoyment all around.

Yn was part of the Drama Club but had been hanging out for a few Hellfire sessions after Eddie convinced her to stay for one of his big campaigns.

They were friends and she really liked him, if she was being honest she had a crush on him and would love to tell him.

It was hard to work up the courage as she usually got distracted by his pretty brown eyes and would forget what she was saying.

Tonight though she would tell him. Everyone was in a good mood and she smiled as she could hear Eddie excitedly talk about a D&D campaign with Robin.

Nerves fill her belly as she thinks about what she was going to do. Hopefully, her gut feeling was right about Eddie.

They flirted a lot and she wanted to ask him if he wanted to hang out.

💞💞

Eddie had spent the party full of nervous anxiety. Every time had was yn he would break out into a sweat and get tongue-tied.

Rarely if ever did he feel this way but this was the effect she had on him, he had a massive crush on her, and just being in her presence made his heart race and his cheeks flush.

Dustin rolled his eyes as he saw Eddie look over at yn for the third time.

"Dude, just ask her out. She likes you and you like her!"

"I don't know if she likes me Henderson" Dustin gives him a look that clearly said *are you being serious right now?*

Maybe the little butthead had a point. Not that he would admit that as Dustin would get a big head.

Buoyed by this he makes his decision.

He sees yn talking to Steve and his stomach drops as he moves closer and hears Steve ask yn out.

She beams and she says yes which makes his heart sink. Of course, she would want to date Steve. He was handsome, chicks loved him and yn was perfect, they were a great match.

Steve and yn were beaming at each other and he feels gutted. Obviously, he had misread the signs that she liked him?

Miserable he heads off to find the rest of the Hellfire boys.

💞💞

After helping Steve with preparing to ask Nancy out she decides to find Eddie.

Eddie had been acting strange. No longer flirty and kind of withdrawn, kinda mopey she was confused because he seemed fine earlier.

Determined to find out what was wrong she goes to find him and he is taking to his friends.

"Eddie, are you okay?" his friends give them some privacy, and he looks upset about something.

"I'm fine," he tells her but she can sense his hesitation.

"Eddie, please tell me" he sighs.

"I heard Steve ask you out and you said yes, the truth is I really am falling for you but I get why you would want to date Harrington...

"Oh, Eddie. You misunderstand. I was helping Steve work up the courage to ask Nancy out. You know like a role-play kinda thing? I'm falling for you too"

He grins.

"You are? So if I asked you out? Maybe we could go and see a film together? You would say yes?"

Thrilled she nods.

"Yes" beaming he fist pumps the air.

"Milady, would you do the honor of accepting my request for a date?" she giggles reaching up and kissing him softly.

He blinks rapidly looking at her dazed.

"I would love to go out with you Eddie" beaming he kisses her tenderly and he takes her hand leading her over to Hellfire.

Eddie ruffles Dustin's hair.

"I told you so" Dustin grins and says this to Eddie.

"You were right butthead, now don't get a big head about it yeah?"

💞💞

[romana-after-dark]

Dark!Romana's Best-Of 2023

Hello my friends! I started this acount in april to write the wrong way and never expect the outpuring of love I got!

I saw these types of things from various moots and thought I'd do one!

Thank you for all your're support!

Best Series

Easy, hands down The Wrong Way! I can never express the love I have for all of you who supported me through the journey that was TWW. I cried so often, I laughed with Lorenzo, I hurt for little one, I emphathized with Tommy,my heart even hurt for Joel sometimes. The art you guys have made, the way y'all theorize and discussed it... Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, you all brought so much joy to me through this series when I was going though unspeakable pain. TWW helped me make sense of a lot of my trauma, and I hoped, at least for some of you, if you related to little one like I do, you find healing in your lives.

Best one shot

Hard choice, but Apple takes the cake. In it, reader is Santi's wife and they play out a cnc fantasy with the help of Will and Frankie. Things devolve, they get gay (bc it's me) and readers safe word is ignored. I love how deliciously smutty it was, the dirty talk, puppy!frankie, the gay... good stuff!

Underratted fic

GAURD DOG! Raider Joel raids the wrong house, gets non conned by reader. Turns out, he likes turning his mind off. By chapter 2 he's fully colalred, going into full pet play! For some reason, these never hit never hard. I think everyone likes dom joel which is totally fair!

Overrated fic

TBH this account doesnt get like. A WHOLE LOT of interaction which is totally okay! But if I had to pick one that I'm like oh? This is the one y'all like? Was Finish the Job. Granted, its Jake mother fucking lockly and yandere, but still I didn't think it was another CRAZY you know? still, over 200 notes which is good for me!

No collabs like I did on my main for this section, but maybe someone would like to collab in the future?

New blorbos

It was the year of JOEL MILLER! Fics like Don’t You Worry Your Pretty Little Mind where DBF Joel breeds you and turs you into his submissive house wife I think are some of my best, but I also like ones like Dirty Little Secret or Cry Harder are fun for pushing the boundaries

Tommy Miller hasn't had his own fic yet, but dont you worry. Not onyl does he get action twice (2x) in TWW, but also is having a great time in Blessed be the Fruit, fucking not only reader (OfJoel) but his own handmaid, Angela.... and soon, both

Will Miller, my love! He got his first peice as the main antagonist in Apple, but he's also featured as one of the four in my new series, Room's on Fire! Will is gentle to reader, soothing her... he's on her side, right?

THANK YOU ALL FOR AN INCREDIBLE YEAR!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS V MUCH!

I hope next year I can deliver on ROF and other works, and I wanna spend more time reading and making friends here <3 love you all.

[sevenrs]

3, 16, 22 👀

violence ask game ; OPEN

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

that one guy who called slugcat shipping a time paradox is literally so fucking funny, but real answers... does it have to be on tumblr? because i can think of two i hated that i saw on discord. everything ive seen on tumblr i've personally disagreed with but i wouldn't call any of it bad ANYWAYS DISCORD a pre-downpour headcanon i saw in the official server was something like. "moon is only nice to you because she suffered :) her whole experience humbled her. if she was still standing, she'd be as ruthless as pebbles" SUFFERING IS NEVER A POSITIVE FOR ANYONE! i get this is like. not a real person but to imply that suffering somehow makes someone a better person (and not a better character) is sickening. i don't see it now that dp came out but. gross gross gross and take number 2. someone went on a rant in a discord server im in about how pebbles literally did nothing wrong because everything that led up to his situation wasn't really his fault-- moon stopped him or suns gave him the pearl. whats next. it's slivers fault for dying too? YES its information that shouldnt have been given but that doesnt mean pebbles DIDNT use it irresponsibly. he did. he was killing moon. and she was rightfully trying to save herself

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

something my friend also dislikes but. really dont like it when people depict artificer as soft. that is a war criminal perpetuating the cycle of violence that hurt her in the first place. i understand maybe sentimental about children because its a nice thought but other then that. that is someone with cold logic to justify her ruthless violence. YES she is sympathetic. but jegus. that cat sees murder for the sake of murder as an ok thing and the soft interp of her feels wrong

also uh. different thing entirely but. sorry i really dont understand sunx x pebbles. suns is very much a mentor to him and thinking about them getting together is uncomfortable to me. its the power imbalance to me. suns x pebbles isnt problematic to me (as long as you dont like. romanticize the potential abuse! my friend has seen some of that and its gross) but its a bit umcomfy

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

anything i say about spirituality in rain world. im not religious and i honestly don't know the % of buddhists and hindus in this fandom but the inspirations are real and do matter and you cant brush karma and reincarnation off as a "game mechanic" because a lot of it does make sense in universe. all of it? i cannot explain all of it, either because it really doesn't make sense or i don't have the knowledge to yet. but literally being able to die and come back is not just a game mechanic! it's part of the lore!

[floofz]

i just finished watching ep five... can i know your thoughts on it

OUGH... so many thoughts my dude... where do i even start...

well first of all this episode completely wrecked me emotionally. domestic violence is always hard to watch, but damn did they do their best to make it as horrible as possible (in a good way! its amazing how studio lan sheds light on these kinds of things happening). the animation - the expressions, the hitting, the bruises - the audio design - god the sounds of the violence alone were so fucking heartwrenching. and then the involvement of the kids too. it was so so painful to watch but it was so incredibly well done.

we finally get to know more about the two siblings (and also confirmation that the two are actually involved! plus that lu guang turns out not to be the good brother in the childrens drawing). the scene with cheng xiaoshi being amused about the brother's behaviour and childish thinking seems funny at first, but when you later see the family situation theyre in, it all just makes so much painful sense. he has all this rage and strong sense of justice in him bc they are growing up in this unstable household full of violence. its heartbreaking.

the boy the brother met at the fountain, i first thought it was a young cheng xiaoshi bc of the haircut, but his voice was very different so now im perplexed. they could just be trying to throw us off here but i cant imagine them picking such a drastically different voice from cheng xiaoshi for him, especially bc we already heard his voice as a kid in s1. now my guess is maybe a young qian jin? it would check out with what we know about younger him. and i mean were 5 episodes in we kinda need to get to all the connections eventually.

now, lu guang and cheng xiaoshi. i've already seen people on reddit talk about how lu guang seems off again this episode. what particularly makes me think though is that one scene where their connection supposedly went "bad". i mean, everything, especially in animation, is very intentional so there must be much more to it. im wondering if someone interfered with their connection. one theory i also saw and thought about it a bit more on my own: what if red eyes - either one of the siblings - somehow possessed lu guang during their dive for a short time, making him unable to talk to cheng xiaoshi on his own, hence the silence. and after that he also doesnt realize he was silent for a while. and bc one of the siblings took hold over him for a sec, they saw what lu guang saw and that would explain why the sister supposedly knows cheng xiaoshi (and wants to talk to him at the police station) and that he was involved with her past through the dive. though i guess she could also know about him from qian jin. idk, I JUST HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

all in all a fucking fantastic episode but i did have to take a break after watching it. its very emotionally draining. but you can definitely tell the care and thought they put into this.

OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT. the little soft expressions and smiles from lu guang when cheng xiaoshi acted cute as xixi in the episode made me explode<3 gdi once again cheng xiaoshi never sees his soft expressions, LU GUANG LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT WHEN HE CAN SEE.

anyway yeah lots of thoughts 😭 PLS also let me know what you think!!!

[thebestofoneshots]

OH. MY. GOD!!!

i’ve been wracking my brain because i couldn’t see what the constellation in the middle could be besides cassiopeia! but i was also confused by what you meant when you said “perhaps you should look closer to where the swans swim… “ so i kept looking up constellation with swans and got the constellation cygnus BUT THAT DOESNT LOOK LIKE THE CONSTELLATION!!! so i took a break for a while. but then i saw someone posted their theories and felt like i should dive into this again before i read it! so i went back to digging because this is fun!

so i looked at the constellations that surrounded cygnus because you said where the swan swims! so maybe the constellation in the middle is around the swan! right? so there are a couple that surround it! there’s cepheus, Draco, Lacerta, lyra, pegasus, and vulpecula! and i looked at all of them.

cepheus didn’t look anything like the constellation and had no significance so i crossed that one off the list. Draco isn’t it either obviously. Lacerta was interesting because it looked like cassiopeia! but not like the one on the cover! (fun fact lacerta is nicknamed the little cassiopeia!) but it’s still not the one i’m looking for. next was lyra which was also not the one i was looking for but it was still pretty! pegasus was definitely not it. and finally vulpecula. oh vulpecula….the one i’ve been looking for. and i’m now just realizing that i could of looked up fox constellations but no. because i didn’t even think about it!!!

when i tell you i sighed so hard because it was so obvious!?!?!? lord….. but that’s besides the point!I FINALLY FOUND IT!!! the one in the middle is vulpecula!!! the constellation of a fox holding a goose in its mouth!!!

i know you didn’t do this on purpose but! something that aligns up and is really cool is that geese were sacred to the goddess juno! and she was the mother of mars!!! which you have on your cover!!!! AND GET THIS!!! JUNO’S NAME IS ALSO ASSOCIATED WITH THE WAXING MOON!!! so i looked up to see if there was any relation with the waxing moon and werewolves and get this. it’s said that if a werewolf is born under a waxing or waning moon it shows some influence on his auspice and temperament!!! with waxing showing signs of rising rage and waning showing signs of a cooler more somber personality!!! i honest to god thought this would have no correlation but i looked up remus’ birthday and low and behold on march 10th, 1960 there was a WAXING MOON!!!! LIKE WHAT?!?!? I WAS SO SHOCKED THAT IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE?!?!? I THOUGHT I PUT MYSELF ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE (hehe get it? because of the goose in the foxes mouth?) BUT IT MAKES SENSE!!!! WHILE REMUS DOES TRY TO BE MORE CALM AND SOMBER HE IS MORE AGGRESSIVE AND HAS A LOT OF PENT UP RAGE!!! THE KEY WORD BEING TRY BTW!!! AS MUCH AS I LOVE REMUS HE IS NOT NATURALLY CALM! HE DEFINITELY ACTS MORE CALM AND SOMBER TO NOT MAKE PEOPLE SUSPICIOUS OF HIM BUT IN ALL HONESTY HE HAS A BAD TEMPER!!! AND WE ALL KNOW THIS!!! SO THE FACT THAT HE WAS BORN ON A WAXING MOON?!!!? it all just makes so much sense!!! it’s a fucking crazy coincidence and i thought it was so cool and wanted to share it!!!

but back to vulpecula i looked at a picture of the constellation and i almost banged my head on the wall when i saw cygnus LITERALLY POINTING AT VULPECULA!!! LIKE LOOK AT THIS!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

it was starting in my face. but this was a lot of fun and i loved finding things that matched up or connected without you trying!?!?!? like that was so cool😭😭😭

anyways i’m gonna keep looking for more clues and stuff but i wanted to share this

OK LOVE YOU BYE!!!!! <3

When I tell you I freaking love all of your theories, I’m not even joking I freaking ADORE all of your theories 🤍

Thanks for sharing, love you too sweetheart <3

[walnutcookie]

hey maybe you could talk a bit about Hom!Earl gray please

what a silly guy !

okay so . originally he was just a Regular Guy (in most aus). then over time in the web of the multiverse a few of the universes had gotten tangled together and timekeeper had to fix that ! exactly 222 different earl greys from different universes walked into the grandmaster hotel at the same time aaaand... all of those earl greys, all of those hotels, are mashed into one. the hotel is in another dimension now, one outside of any universe, and is practically a gateway to those 222 universes included in the incident

the hotel just looks like . Madness. hence the name hotel of madness. nothing makes sense, objects are floating in mid air, stairs are invisible and lead to nowhere, the hotel room doors are fucked up and now lead to the different universes instead of hotel rooms

and earl grey ? hes a weird mixture of all the people he used to be. his body has been warped to the point where he hardly looks the same anymore. he glitches and flickers into his other appearances but if youd like to see a comparison

hes silly and quirky now . hes got memories from two hundred different lives and hes also forgotten a lot of things/gets confused with his memories. Its funny hes so confused by his gender because he has the same thoughts and feelings from all those universes like girl he cant tell if hes homosexual or homophobic!!! he hates all pronouns but also loves using all of them but also he prefers she/her but also he uses neos and you get the point . Conflicted. he just uses he/him because he does not know what to do about it. hes not aroace but also he is yeah its basically the thing but He doesnt really do romantic relationships because theyre too confusing to him

hes also like 7 feet tall which is fun ! hes an actual god in the hotel, like he can change his form and the hotels form He could literally turn the hotel into disneyland if he wanted . but he cant change the doors in any way. theres no getting rid of them

he has 182739374935 traumatic memories girl hes not ok!!!! he probably cant tell if his nightmaares are just dreams or a memory

at first all of the memories were seeping in slowly but then timekeeper thought it would be silly to have it all happen at once. Guy with migraine

anyways she threatens him so nicely and hes basically forced to watch over this hotel since its a gateway for the multiverse now and it would be easy for someone to fuck with the multiverse and she doesnt feel like checking this thing constantly and earl is already exposed to it So!!!!!

hes forced to check up on the hotel all thw time <3 hes decided on once a month is good enough so he just . Checks on every door which takes like 2 days and just makes sure all his precautions are in place. Each door leads to a supply closet in the universe (in the grandmaster hotel) and anyone can walk through it so he has ro make sure its protected

he spends his free time in the sugary shenanigans universe (one of my aus) because thats where hes happiest,, when he walks through a universe's door he takes rhe original form of what he looked like before he became. Hotel of madnessed. he doesnt tell his siblings (roguefort and eclair) about it because they wouldnt believe him but he DID have permission from tk to introduce the chess choco twins from the sugary shenanigans au to the hotel :) nobody knows much abt the situation (not even timekeeper) so like they assumed once earl dies theyd need someone new to look after the hotel. and the chess twins are already very silly they saw rhe hotel and earls true form and went Wow dad this is so cool! :)

that was a LOT hzbd and theres still a lot i didnt say about him but . this is getting long so ill cut it short here ! :]

[hollyhomburg]

I just saw your new post, and you're 24 right? You're in no way shape or form "too old" to live with your parents, you're super young. In so many different cultures it's so normal to live with your parents till you're in your late twenties or more, don't beat yourself up for it. I just want you to know that a lot of people here care for you, and in my case have been checking on your art for years now. Follow your heart, always. You want to go to Korea? Amazing, do it, as long as you fully feel you will be safe and happy there. And if you wanna go, but it doesnt feel like the right time, then it's not the right time. You're an amazing person, so persistent, disciplined and hardworking, and it goes without saying that you're also adorable, kind and a complete sweetheart. You got a job, you have one of the longest and most amazing stories I have ever read and you work hard for both of them. I have never seen so much passion for writing a story, written so delicately, so wholeheartedly. You're a really talented human, I just want you to know that. Is this my love letter to you? Yes hihihi I would wanna make it longer.

i’m 26 actually 😭 but i think if you adjust for the pandemic years it makes sense <3 thank you for your encouragement- its messages like this that make it possible for me to hold onto my dream for a little longer. its funny cuz, my mom found me crying this afternoon and she said kinda the same thing along the lines of “when it’s the right time you’ll go” this is really comforting for me as someone who lost so many years of their life to abuse and then the pandemic, if i don’t believe that i’ve got time to figure it all out then it’s just an endless loop of wondering if i’m bad enough yet just to k word myself. its so reassuring to hear it reiterated. 

 i guess i don’t think of myself as disciplined because i’m not disciplined at the things that other people are disciplined at- but i want to view myself as you see me more 😭 if not for any other reason than i think it will be easier to keep going. 

if this is a love letter than consider every word of bily apart of my love letter to you <3 i know it’s been a few years since i did a valentines day love letter ask session but maybe for this year i should bring it back <3 

[gayspock]

im literally like crichton at the end of the finale now (fr struggling to putwords together) but i was being patient and polite with d'argo and chiana but

rightso ifr am struggling with putting things into words tonight i feel fucking . braindead and have done for the past two nights

BUT this is one thing i can sorta express i think like

firstly: i totally dont buy the marriage thing sorry. i dont get why theyre rushing this relationship so much. i just dont fucking buy any bit of it & idc... LOL... LIKE-

im not even against-against them (or i wasnt). BUT i think chiana and d'argo could work if done right, ive said that. or at least theyd be an interesting exploration even if they didnt end up together-together. i can see a version of events and miscommunication, done right, where they do gravitate towards each other since theyre travelling in close quarters like that and they have the wrong expectations and theres fallout and such- but all the way up to marriage? i dont know... i do not see it... like

i can seeeee chiana maybe panicking and just. agreeing to marriage even if she doesnt actually yknow with d'argo but i dont see d'argo proposing this fast. like this is crazy..... give it more than like. half a season of fucking background work, holy shit, yknow? eve n if theyhave been through so much together, like... i think i heard they got married at some point but i seriously expected that to be like s4- bringing it up now?

and like

also

ok

soheres the thing

i dont know how old jothee is. sigh. + i think, even if we did have an exact number... WELL thatsa whole other ramble, but tbh one of my pet peeves in sci fi is people insisting that alien ages would always strictly correspond exactly to human ones wrt maturity (emotional and physical) which makes no damn sense like..they wouldnt even have to linearly correspond, or have the same structure, or same concepts (of adolesence, of being elderly, etc) and i mean they could, but its very much the same as like. only ever envisioning aliens as being strictly humanoid with face bumps like . i do nottt get it....

which i SAY because like. ewww!!! i strictly DONT want to be one of those ppl who is like "teehee, age doesnt matter, its arbitrarryyy to this alien culture [uses it as an excuse]" BUT i also dont want to be like one of those ppl who like "haha, well technicalllyyy this alien is 18 sooooo!<3" bc like . with the hypothetical extraterrestrial race yep! it does become completely arbitrary & banging on about it like that its like... ur completely losing sight of it, doing the math to try and check whether the fucker is legal, is completely, trying to gotcha "haha, its fine if i ship these two" &... missing the point ... of WHY weird age shit is wrong in the first place

bc its abt power dynamics... & its insaaaaane u have to point that out to people sometimes... but its like. p*dophilia is wrong bc young people are . extremely vulnerable. and do not have the power in that position; they are taken advantage of, and the are not capable of informed consent, and its sick in the head, yeah..

+ so WITH alien stuff. like fictitious species and things like that, yeah? its very much down to the precedent writers create, and what they construct and what they build...

andthats all to say iliterally. do not know what to fucking think of chiana necking with jothee because like....

literallyyyyyy. my honest 2 god truth. in my opinion? IF d'argo and chiana had never been a thingl; IF you wiped the slate clean, and never had even entertained it... chiana and jothee? they would actually make a HELL of a lot more sense to me.

like i always saw chiana as a very young adult. probs my ageish - maybe like a year or two younger?

and so i think jothee... again. shrugs. idk how luxons would age; fine, if he's technically younger in years, but like... FROM what ive seen of him, he reads like someone also of that age range, maybe a touch younger. but definitely close enough that i can see them very easily gravitating towards each other.

and again. like i think i said before, initially i read chiana and d'argo as more like... a parental dynamic, if literally anything? which is why i wasnt totally onboard with them to begin with- but was willing to, like, go with it because i understand that was my initial interpretation, not the canon gospel - and hey, if they can convince me otherwise then cool. i'm the one who misread it, yeah?

(bc also i will say like: ithink d'argo IS like a good example of being very alien in terms of age, in combination with him also being a bit off, i suppose, bc like... they say he's young multiple times in the show, and they say it was odd he went off and had kidsyoung- so like? to me... i again figure, like, a very young dad who just seems a hell of a lot older. i know guys likethat irl-plenty of them- who matured v fast even if theyre really still. a lot younger, in honesty. and i think thats fair enough.)

BUT YEAH. LIKE. ITS SO FUCKING.., EVEN THEN IT- IT JSUT KINDA FEELS .ughhg. RUHGHGH. like

in isolation. if we had one or the other i THINK it wouldnt be fucking weird. for the reasons i said. i really dont think it would; the writers could make the either or work. but like- both of them...? yeah no- thats what makes it strange, even if you do play fast and loose with how ages work here, bc its like.. that DOES feel like a really freaking. icky shift to me even if i dont think chiana is taking advantage of jotheee or d'argo is taking advantage of chiana necessarily. theres just a strange dissonance, here, and its like.. mmmnn. noo :(

bc like again i said. i dont find chiana and jothee that weird by themselves and thats whatkinda makes it a shame bc i do think they actually suit each other better and especially frustrating bc. i just fucking wish they hadnt done chiana and d'argo at all at this point, bc it hasnt really done much to give us anything at all. and, like i think d'argo and her just feel like an unfolding misunderstanding- and not in the "oh, we balance each other out; we will work towards it" kinda way, but just like a. these ppl dont fit and they tried it butits just not meant 2 be way and thats fineee i LIKE it when you explore stuff like that man but eek they really... ARENT taking the time to explore it in that way. are they. theyrejust kinda botching it and

BC MEANWHILE LIKE. IF WE WERE TO TALK "OH, WHO WOULD BE AN ACTUAL THRIVING COUPLE?" from what ive seen thus far... jothee and chiana have a lot in common that i could easily see them connecting with quite strongly andi think... with the both of them in another environment, it could be messy, but with the rest of the moya crew grounding them it could actually be really sweet for them to find sth in each other. but like any potential of that- yeah. no . its gross now. because of the kinda setup presented

whichis to say

I DONT FREAKIGNGGG LIKE IT WAHHHHHH I DONT LIKEEEE IT I DOJT LIKEEE ANY OF IT. >:(

[certifiedgoofball]

Okay Okay Okay I am going to rant here bc Honestly i can

I saw something about plurality that was semi-obviously written by a neurotypical about some people saying it really did not cause them distress and I was thinking (or one of the fnuuy men was saying, I really cannot tell) "of course being some form of multiple people in one body affects us greatly." And That got me like big brain thinky thinky

As a artist I often make sonas for myself. I do this VERY frequently for some reason I cannot pin down, but an issue I have ALWAYS HAD is pinning down my personality so I can give it to the sona. I've always had trouble pinning my personality down even before I even knew jack shit about plurality...or DID...or OSDD...or any of that stuff.

Honestly It should have been obvious. I got an idea for a drawing and like two seconds later after there was femboy on my fucking screen. I Understood that I drew it, It was my artstyle clear as day but for some reason I just did not remember the sketching, linearting OR the coloring I, for some reason, did not see this as an issue and I was like "Well I be danmed I do not remember doing this but it looks unfinished I will finish doing it!" (could have been a sign of some form of amnesia) (I think I have already told you this but i forgor so ima say it again)

I remember sitting on the bus one day going home taking some test for DID and I remember It said I was at risk. When I was suspecting myself of potentially being disordered I was like "Well I do not remember any SEVERE childhood traumas sooo idk if I am actually like yk yk" And to this day I still do not know.

IDK if I'm even disordered. Maybe due to the autism the whole like separate ego thing stayed, maybe this shit indeed hit me out of nowhere, Maybe It was that one Easter when I was like 4 where they were doing some godforsaken ritualistic thing where they made the kids dip their thumb/hand in red paint and put it on some construction paper cross that I was too scared to do that set the path. Maybe It was the entirety of pre school in a religious establishment that I only clearly remember the ritualistic easter thing from. I do not know.

Thank you for reading my useless rant and if you know any shi then give shi :3

(im not an expert at all, just a very autistic individual that likes researching disorders and whatnot. so dont take my words as fact) i have a few things to say. first of all, the lack of memories of trauma from your childhood could be caused by dissociative amnesia, or if you are a system, a different alter could be a trauma holder. trauma also doesnt have to be things like being physically abused, which is easily seen as trauma. a child's mind is very different to a teen or adult mind, and trauma can be made by a bunch of "little" things piling up and stressing out someone's mind too much. with your preschool being a religious establishment, there could've been a lot of "small" things that added up, or things that you don't remember as trauma, but still traumatized you in some way. having any personality disorder (especially cluster b pds which deal greatly with the sense of self) could make you feel like you dont have a pinpoint-able personality. ive heard from some people that they pinned down their change in personality to being a system, so much so that they fully believed that they were one, but it was identity disturbance. there are also things like p-did, where one alter is the active one, and full switches dont happen, but co-consciousness does happen, which can make the host feel like they have a different personality or are perceiving things differently because they're being affected by the other person in front. theres also median systems (im not sure if this is widely-recognized as a real thing, ive just heard about it) where someone feels like they're inbetween being a singlet and a system, or cant place themselves in either category properly. the femboy art does seem to be a lot like amnesia, but i genuinely cant say if it is or isnt, because im just some guy. overall, plurality has a lot of grey areas and such. what i would recommend is to just take time, dont pressure yourself, and try to do what makes you most comfortable.