#a media I always wished I could get into but am always delighted to see other people doing

[bunnybunbun0]

Can you please write a Michael smut where he takes readers virginity with a lot of praise or mutual masterbation please plz

TO DE-STRESS A FRIEND

Anon,that ask rocked my shit! and lucky you i love writing about virginity loss! hope you like it! <3

Summary: Living the life of a young adult was stressing you out,you needed your best friend Mike to help you relax

Warnings: Smut , minors DNI,unprotected sex,fingering,virginity loss,mutual masturbation,afab!reader,let me know if i forget any.

You are responsible for your media comsumption.

You swear that one of these days you will make it to the front page of the news,the headboard will say "local college girl goes insane".

The stress were just over the board for you,the pressure at college,maintaining a minimun wage job to pay rent of the cubicle appartment you called a home. You needed to relax. So you just did the best thing you thought off.

"Hey,i picked up pizza!" Mike greeted at the door with a smile as you let him in.

Mike has always been your best friend,he was the only one that would be kind to you when you had to change schools for junior year,and youve been inseparable since,it was weird to see one without the other,and all you needed to calm yourself down were your best friend.

"Thank god you´re here! i think i´m gonna explode!."

You sank yourself on your old couch on the small living room sighing deeply,hearing Mike´s chuckle from the kitchen as he fetched you both plates for the cheesy delight.

"Relax,two more years and youll have your degree." He smiled at you with those sweet brown puppy eyes that could easily melt your heart.

You´ve been into Mike since the first homecoming you two attended together,its been you two in all events since,graduations,proms,homecomings,halloween parties,always matching outfits and always glued to one another.

As just friends of course! It´d be way too awkward to ruin the best friendship you ever had,but the caring way mike always made those nights special for you,even tho he thinks they´re lame,he always proteced you from creepy guys and mean girls at school,he listened to you ramble about your interests,he made you feel confortable and safe,and happy...

...but just as friends of course!

"Ugh,all that suffering for a lousy piece of paper!" You reflect while getting your plate of pizza (your favourite flavour of course,mike always remembered which one it is) "Just pop in the movie already!"

You took a bite of your dinner and watched as mike popped the cd on,then sitting by your side while the movie started.It wasnt a very interesting one but it was good enough to keep you both entertained. Your leg lazily hung on top of michaels and the mood was peaceful,until it wasnt.

You knew this movie were r-rated,but you didnt expect to see that,that one hot actor that been distracting you the whole movie is the one getting it on in the scene,you squirm a little,wishing you could excuse yourself to your room and let your toy do the job of settling the throb between your legs.

Mike´s eyes on you were´nt helping said throb either,you knew he could tell what happened and weirdly enough the shame of it was thrilling you more.

"You okay?" He asked suspiciouly

"Huh? Uhm,sure...." Making eye contact with him while the moans kept going on the background proved to be a hard task.

"Really? You seem...agitated" To say that was an understatement,your thoughts of mike were running wild,to the point where you could feel your underwear cling to your soaked heat.

"I´m...uhm...i am...." Mike´s sincere concern about your well being and how sweet he was about it were thriling you on even more,to the point where you couldnt muster up any words.

"I get it,you´re into that short guy on the screen" He said jealously "The scene clearly messed you,its okay if you need to...yknow...reliev yourself"

You were mortified by his words,but something about the thrill of being watched by michael´s sweet puppy eyes were making your fire burn higher.

Without taking your eyes from his and unsure of how he´d react,you slowly slid your hand into the hem of your pyjama bottoms,his lustful eyes following every movement of yours carefully,his breathing getting heavier by the moment.

"Fuck..." He whispered when you let out a low whimper as your cold finger finally found your needy clit.

You kept on staring at each othe while you pleasured yourself and after a few minutes the tent on his pants were hard to miss,and the way his hands tended to it were even harder to miss.

The movie behind you were long forgotten,the gasps and whimpers of you both were drowning the small space,eyes glued on one another and hands unable to stop pleasuring yourselfs.

"God,i cant wait any longer!" Mike pulled you suddenly on his lap kissing you deeply and passionately,swallowing your whimpers as you grinded on his lap,frenetic hands locked on the hem of his shirt pulling it over his head.

Your eyes lock on his shirtless figure and his hands caressed your waist below your shirt,goosebumps coming from your back. His hot lips went down with open mouthed kisses on your neck,a satisfied grin on his face as he took off your pyjama shirt and met your braless torso.

"Youre gonna be the death of me..." He huffed out in a breath.

You could´nt even think about responding before you felt his hot tongue on your nipple,he sucked on your breasts like his life depended on it,erupting multiples whines from you,the fire getting higher and higher between the both of you.

You snapped back to reality once you felt his hand grip your thigh strongly,inching closer and closer to where you were soaked for him.

"Mike wait!" You breathed out and he immediately stopped his ministrations,staring at you wide eyed.

"I´m so sorry,the sounds you were making,i thought you were liking it" his voice leaked of honesty.

"I´ts not that mikey,it feels great im just...i...never did this..."

"Oh,youre..."

"A virgin,yes,pathetic i know" The weight of being a twenty two year old vigin sank on you after that.

"Hey hey its fine!" He cupped your face gently and looked into your eyes,so tenderly you nearly forgot you were both half naked. "It´s all right...you should have told me sooner...if you wanna move on with it,i wanna make it special for you,like you deserve" He strokes your cheecks lovingly and you dont even need to think twice.

You threw your hands around his neck and pulled him closer kissing him with all the need in your heart.

"Please michael...make me yours"

He got up with you on his lap bringing you into your bedroom laying you gently on your bed,slowly peeling you off your shorts,you were only in your underwear now,laying in bed in front of your best friend.

"You look beautiful."

He dives into another deep kiss sliding his hands closer to where you need him the most.

"May i?" He asks teasing your hips with the elastic of your panties,you nod giving him acces to your whole body.

He slides a first finger into you with ease,revelling at the sweet moan you let out.

"Fuck baby you´re so wet"

Baby. You liked being called that,specially when mike did it. His kisses were growing desperate and erratic,just as the pace of his now two figers inside you.

"Mike,please,stop" You mutter almost out of breath opening your eyes and seeing his worried expression "Wanna cum on your cock,please."

Michael´s painfully hard cock nearly busted hearing those words come out of you,how could he deny anything you asked for? He was always putty to your wishes.

his hands quickly fumbled with the fly of his pants,making you giggle at his eagerness to get undressed,when he finally did your laugh got stifled at the sight.

His big red angry cock sprung free hitting him back in his abdomen,there was no way in hell that could fit inside your tiny virgin hole,he could see the worry in your eyes clear as day.

"Relax,ill be gentle..."

He kissed you again removing your panties now leaving you bare for him,the sight itself of you naked and wet for him,with that adorable blush on your face was driving him nuts. He drew his body closer to yours until his tip was teasing your entrance.

"You ready baby?" He asked,you nodded,and his fat tip was inside you.

You both gasped in unission at the feeling,his hands holding yours giving it a slight grip,signaling he was gonna push more in. The moan you let out were other wordly,busting his usually low ego and egging him on pleasuring you.

"Fuck baby youre so tight" With a final push and a guttural groan he was fully inside you.

The disconfort and euphoria were fighting to see who would take place on your expressions. Mike gave you a few minutes until you got used to the feeling of his shaft deflowering you,the pain turned into needines at any growing second,until it was unberable for you to have him inside you and not moving.

"Mike please,i need you to move" Your wish was his command.

He thrusted in you slow and deep,every time he bottomed himself you let out a moan,and each time you moaned he moved faster,making you moan more. It was a vicious cycle and before you could even register he was fucking you senseless.

You were flirting with your orgasm,only needing that one final push to send you over the edge.

"Mike,fuck,i´m so close" you whined out,only needing his sweet final push.

"Come on baby,be good and cum for me,feel good for me."

You couldn´t hold it at his praise,moaning his name loudly followed by a string of profanities. He was hypnotized by the sight of your orgasm,seeing you trash and moan underneath him,his hips moving on his own as you ride your high.

"Oh,fuck baby,watch me cum so good for you"

He pulled it out jerking off quickly on top of you painting your pretty tits white his seed before collapsing tired on top of you.

"So..." He rolls to your side holding your hand and laying close to you "Did you liked it? Are you okay?" You chuckled at the shift in his personality.

"It was amazing..." Your voice was hoarse from all the moaning "My legs will definetely be sore by the morning and i have class tomorrow" You laugh a little

"You can afford to miss class one day,you need to de-stress" He kissed your temple as you both drifted into a peaceful post sex sleep.

I guess yiu were more relaxed after all...

Gosh,i suck at endings and i´m writing this at four AM so i hope it doesnt suck!

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 12 - Prompt: Question @wolfstarmicrofic

January Daily Series - 624 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Sirius looked over his shoulder with a smug grin and an arched eyebrow. He’d clearly caught Remus’s avid nodding at his admission. Remus smirked back at him, trying to ignore the twist in his gut every time Sirius smiled at him.

“Can I ask you a question?” he said.

Remus blinked rapidly, then nodded again. “Go on.”

“Do you like living here?”

Of all the inquiries that Sirius could aim his way, that was one that Remus wasn’t expecting. Based solely on the bloke’s tendency to stare at his scars, he was preparing for a little deflection of his own. Instead, he had to abruptly redirect his line of thought. He lived here because his parents did. It wasn’t an intentional decision on his part to be born in this specific town. Although, he supposed staying here was a choice.

“Not especially. I’ve just never had a compelling reason to leave. My parents live here, and so does Lily.”

“Not for long!” Lily interjected, pointing at him. “Only a matter of time before I leave you for London.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Sure. You’ve been saying that for literal years, Lily. I think you’re stuck with me.”

“Nonsense! I just haven’t squirrelled away enough money yet.”

“I’ll hide in your luggage.”

Lily puffed air through her teeth. “Pfft, I’d like to see you try.”

“You have a lot of clothes to pack, I think I could manage it.”

Sirius glanced between them and laughed. “You two are as codependent as me and James.”

“Maybe more,” Lily said. “We grew up together. Remus is the brother I never needed.”

“And you’re the sister I didn’t want,” he snarked, dodging her hand swatting at him.

“Oh hush. You love me.”

Remus increased his stride and draped his forearms on her shoulders. “Now that’s true, but you can be bloody annoying.”

“Only because I’m always right.”

“Disturbingly so. You should be a fortune teller.”

Sirius watched him and Lily banter with a delighted grin on his face. His eyes flashed with an emotion Remus couldn’t quite identify at first. If he was pressed for a guess, he’d say…nostalgia. It was similar to the way that Lily watched Padfoot bound from the sand to the sea, likely thinking about her childhood dog, Rhett.

“I would rather read palms. That way, if they don’t like my predictions, I can say, ‘I’m simply reading what it says in your life line, darling,’” Lily said, adopting a deep, dramatic American accent. It reminded him a little of Judy Garland, his mum’s favourite.

“Clever. Plausible deniability.” Remus tapped her temple lightly. “You always think two steps ahead.”

Sirius’s pace slowed until he matched Remus’s stride. He ignored it. Remus didn’t want to expose how deeply he was already invested in Sirius’s every movement, facial expression, and the intonation of his voice. Not until he knew for sure that Sirius was actually interested. Otherwise, Lily said it was just a bit creepy.

I mean, I did look-up his social media last night. Maybe it’s time to embrace that I am a bit creepy.

He wasn’t sure what was worse, his creepy cyber stalking or the obsessive mental dossier he’d assembled of everything he’d learned about the man. At least he acknowledged the need to conceal it. People did tend to find his fixations strange unless they were dating. Then, it was “romantic” and “thoughtful” that he could recall their favourite childhood television show that was mentioned off-handedly two years ago.

It was an unusual skill, to be fair. Remus thought he would have been quite good on those old newlywed game shows. Even if they weren’t married, he’d get every question right.

I know who you are. I just wish you’d see me too.

Next Part>>>

[angelelliee]

➵ Am I creeping you out? ➵

➵ Bucky does this to every new hire at the library. Until he meets you. And you’re clearly different.

➵ pairing ➵ Beefy!stalker!Bucky x Reader

➵ rating ➵ A // S. Non-con. 

➵ word count ➵ 4.1k

➵ authors note ➵ Non-con (reader doesn’t necessarily consent they only do it cause they feel bad. Bucky also doesn’t stop when told). 

➵THIS IS A DARK FIC. PLEASE READ WARNINGS ACCORDINGLY. ANY MEDIA CONSUMPTION BELOW THE CUT IS YOUR DECISION. IT WAS WARNED TWICE.

masterlist.

“I’m a nice guy. You can trust me” was the first thing Bucky had told you when you first started working at the library. You thought it was cute. Bucky was cute. He was quiet and kept to himself. But there was something about him that intrigued you. As if he was hiding something beneath the sweaters and small smiles. Beneath the glasses and quiet voice. There had to be something deep in there.

You always caught his lingering gaze glued on you. And whenever you would catch him staring he would blush and look away. And the books he read were always surprising. “I like romance books. I…I know they’re unrealistic but it’s nice to think about it” you felt bad. Bucky seemed lonely. You could see it in his eyes that he wished for something like in the books he read. You couldn’t give him dragons or shirtless warriors.

You could give him one night out on the town. One good night with you and your friends where you drank far too much and forgot about it in the morning. That’s what Bucky deserved. Quiet Bucky who sat behind the front counter with a permanent small smile on his pink lips.

He didn’t know you knew quite a bit more about him than he thought.

“Are you busy tonight?”

Gotcha.

Bucky smiled easily at you. This wasn’t Bucky's first rodeo. Not one part of him felt bad for what he chose to do. That’s why the library was always hiring. Bucky picked his prey, hunted, took what he wanted and left them to fend for themselves. He was a dark man, hidden beneath his soft voice and romance books.

He could see it on your face that you were being nice. You felt bad for him and you wanted to give him what he was looking for. Which was someone to spend the night with. One night where he does what he wants and he gets breakfast the morning after. It was a sick ritual that no one understood. “Bucky?”

“I’m sorry. No, I'm not busy. Why?” Your cheeks warmed at his answer. “Me and a couple friends are going out. Wanted to know if you’d like to join!” So sweet. Innocent too. Such an innocent invitation. “I would love to join you guys” you looked like you were holding in a squeal of delight. “Okay! I’ll text you the details”

Right. He forgot he had your number. He smiled back at your excitement and bid you farewell with a nod.

Bucky stood outside of the bar. Gazing at you through the window with a long sigh. There you were. Clad in a tight dress and, from what he could remember, your favorite heels. Bucky collected what he could from your Facebook and Instagram. You didn’t use Twitter, you had Snapchat but he couldn’t see any of your stories. You had an impressive snap score though.

He felt like he shouldn’t have shown up. Part of him debated on turning around and just leaving. How would you know he had shown up in the first place? He could just lie and say he got caught up at work. Family emergency, his mom needed him and whatnot. But the fear of being laughed at for being a “momma's boy” filled his stomach.

He gnawed at his lower lip before looking down at his clothes again. He felt out of place in his new leather jacket but it gave him an excuse to wear it. You looked over at the door again and the smile that spread across your face was almost blinding. “You made it!”

Bucky couldn’t help the blooming feeling in his chest when he saw your smile. And he couldn’t believe he was the reason behind it. Your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as you hugged him.

And despite your heels you still stood on your tiptoes.

“I am so happy you’re here” you clasped your hand around his and walked him towards the table you and your group were occupying. “Guys! This is Bucky!” You sounded so infatuated. You were clearly very drunk. But it wasn’t hard to see that you thought he was attractive.

And as the night progressed you stayed just as close. Your side was snug against his. Laughing at everything he’s said, knee knocking against his, fingers brushing against one another’s. And your friends were becoming suspiciously aware of it all.

“So” Natasha started from your side. “Where’d you two meet exactly?” You smiled brightly and looked towards Bucky. “We work together!” You seemed proud of it. Bucky looked at you quietly and concealed his own smile. “I’m surprised he said yes” you shot a look at Sam. And suddenly you seemed sober. More sober than before. “Why wouldn’t I say yes?” Bucky asked your friend with a look in his eye.

The air felt tense. Like there was something untold about tonight. “Oh well” you were pleading with your eyes towards sam. Bucky caught that look and huffed lightly. “Well?” Bucky didn’t mean to snap.

But he doesn’t like secrets. He prefers to know when someone doesn’t like him. As if that’s ever stopped him before. Whether someone liked him or not he always took what he wanted. And if they hated him that just made his prize more sweeter. “She said you were…were a nerd and didn’t seem like the type to go out” Sam continued cautiously.

Bucky could hear your breathing get heavy with anxiety. He could feel the heat from your shoulder. You must’ve been so anxious. Bucky found it endearing that you were making accusations like that. That you thought so little of him. And that only fueled him to want to do it even more to you now. “And we bet some money on it” Natasha finished the sentence for Sam and locked eyes with Bucky. There it was.

You clenched your fists on top of the table. Bucky could see you move your head to look at him through the corner of his own eyes. “Well tonight was fun wasn’t it?” He stood up abruptly. “Bucky” you started tightly. “Oh no by all means please use the bet money to pay the tab” he smiled bitterly. Almost sickly.

The way he looked down at you had you sick to your stomach. Anxiety was pricking at your skin. “Thanks for the invite” he spit at you and walked away, keeping his composure until he reached his car. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was tearing up. But it made his eyes burn.

He was angry. Filled with hatred for people who thought so little of him.

He was angry at you. How dare you think so lowly of him already.

He glanced out his car window again and sighed softly. He was surely going to hate himself after he was done with you.

Bucky found it best to ignore you. Make you suffer and squirm a bit. Sure, he talked to you at work. About work things and books. But he wasn’t interested in being friends. It was the only way he could keep himself interested in doing it.

During that time he found himself following you home. You were so blissfully ignorant to the same car behind you every night. You must’ve chalked it off as a new neighbor. So blissfully ignorant to the person watching you undress every night through your bedroom window.

Someone oughta teach you how to close your windows and curtains at night. You never know who’s watching these days. He found himself checking your Instagram more often. Screenshotting the photos he liked of you for his personal collection.

So pretty. But so so stupid. He sneered at the sight of you helping a guest in the library. The way you laughed and touched their arm was so…appalling. Someone should definitely teach you some manners.

When closing time rolled around, Bucky watched you from his driver's seat. The sun was setting and you were standing mindlessly on the steps. You shouldn’t have worn that skirt tonight. It’s getting cold fast and no Uber’s were picking your order.

“Hey dove” you looked up from your phone with such force Bucky was scared you’d snap your neck. And a normal person would’ve felt sick but Bucky felt that thought go straight to his dick. Sick man. “Hey!” You approached his car with a gleaming smile. So sweet to see such excitement painted on your face.

Bucky found himself wondering why you seemed so excited. After all, he had been bluntly ignoring you for the past week and a half. Your eyes were gleaming as you watched the older male. You bent down to look more at him once you reached the passenger side.

“I’ll bring you home, dove. You shouldn’t wait around for some stranger” your cheeks grew hot. “Men these days are sickos. It’ll make me feel better knowing you got home safe” you gnawed your lower lip.

“Are you sure?” You questioned timidly. Bucky never truly gave you a reason not to trust him.

He was nothing but respectful and sweet to you. Clearly not looking to hurt you, as far as you were concerned.

You mindlessly toyed with your rings as you thought it over. “Cmon, sweetheart. Cars already warm, I can put your address in the phone and take you home quicker than any Uber could” he chuckled breezily. “Oh alright” you finally agreed. With nimble fingers you opened the car door and climbed in. “Thank you so much. This is truly appreciated!”

“I know it is” bucky shot you a wink as he started to drive. You didn’t think anything of it for a couple minutes. Considering your phone had been buzzing nonstop all day you had a lot to catch up on. “Oh um Bucky, you never put my address in”

Bucky’s body ran frigid. You were staring at his features as you tried, hoped and prayed it was an innocent mistake. That he was just driving because he liked your company. Or that he was just waiting for you to say something. Hoped and begged that he didn’t know where you lived. That this wasn’t the car that followed you home frequently. The car that parked across the house and sat idle for hours.

“Buck…” you sounded like you were on the verge of tears. “We are going home. Just not your home” He kept his eyes straightforward. “Bucky. Stop this” you bit back.

“Take me to my house right now. I know you know where I fucking live” you balled your fists up harshly to try and control your composure. Bucky liked seeing you so unhinged. Not so uptight and quiet like you are at work. Like at any second you could snap.

Bucky’s smile widened as he kept driving. “Oh sweetheart. Of course I know where you live. You live with me” you were starting to believe that Bucky had lost his mind. He was fully losing it. You then began to accept you weren’t getting out of this easily. Bucky wanted to play house, he wanted to pretend you were his precious wife and he was just taking you guys home. “Okay, i'm sorry for lashing out” you straightened your body out in your seat as you tried to control your breathing.

Your skin was riddled in goosebumps, heart thumping with anxiety as you stared out the window. The piercing cold of his metal palm on your overheated thigh caught you by surprise. You glanced towards his hand, palm facing upwards in hopes you’d take the hint. You sprawled your hand over his, much larger, palm to hold onto. Your gut was filled with angst.

It felt like hours had passed by the time you reached the house. “Cmon, sweet girl” he squeezed your fingers before climbing out to walk around so he could get to your door.

You were trying to rack your brain for answers and ideas on how it could’ve led up to this. How your gut feeling just knew Bucky had been following you home. How that was his car. And that was him rustling outside. How it was his shadow you saw out of the corner of your eye at night.

All those times you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was just awkward around every girl. Maybe he was just a shy guy. You glance over at Bucky as he unlocked the front door and allowed you inside first. You felt bad for him still. “Have a seat. I’ll get us some drinks, honey” you nodded slowly as you wandered towards the living room to sit down slowly.

You glanced over your shoulder as you heard another rustle in your backyard. It wasn’t windy and there were no wild animals in your area- as far as you were concerned there wasn’t. You’ve been feeling rather paranoid recently. With how much rustling about there's been. All the weird new noises outside, along with the whispers you’ve started hearing.

You thought you were going crazy at this point. Chalking it off as not being stalked was the starter. Why would anyone wanna stalk you? You lived in a quiet little neighborhood with a police officer neighbor. Sure, weirdos can be everywhere. But you thought at least you’d be the least interesting victim if so.

Bucky sat snuggly behind the fence that guarded your backyard. How you managed to land such a cushy one bedroom house was beyond him. Zillow surely helped when it came to seeing what the inside of your house looked like. He wished he could see the inside after you decorated. He often found himself imagining how you two would decorate your own home.

He peeked through the oddly convenient hole again and looked straight through your kitchen. You were wearing those little yellow shorts again. The way the fabric shaped and held your ass. Seeing the almost sheer tank top as well had his cock swelling in his jeans.

He reached down to rub himself over the rough denim with a deep exhale of happiness. So so gorgeous yet so so naive. You looked down at the counter again and continued your baking with a small smirk.

Bucky didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

“Here we go” the glass of wine came into your view as he handed it down to you. “Thank you” you took the glass feebly, trying so desperately not to show you were shaking. You couldn’t let him see you nervous. Afraid that if you showed any ounce of a different emotion that wasn’t happy or content that’d he’d snap.

You were starting to worry you wouldn’t make it out of these so easily. The idea of winning whatever battle against the taller male was appealing. Surely in some other universe you could win, a universe where you were taller and buffer and had the balls to try and throw a punch.

This has to be the product of too many romance novels. Too much free time watching rom-coms. “Cmere, sweet girl” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders easily. Almost like he’s thought of this. Like he’s planned this. You sipped the potent red wine with a grimace. “This is nice. Isn’t it?” You looked up at the brunette with a small smile. “Yes, this is very nice. Exactly what we deserve”

You always had a gut feeling this would happen. You’ve heard stories of other girls leaving the library after one night with Bucky. You thought maybe he just fucked them good and they didnt wanna fight temptation. But you never saw him as a kidnapper. As someone so malevolent. Thankfully binge watching Gone Girl a couple times set you up.

Bucky didn’t give off murderer vibes. Then again he didn’t give off vibes to kidnap someone either. You twirled your pointer finger around the rim of your glass as you sat rather comfortably against his side. His fingers danced along the soft material of your top. You saw him lift his own glass to his lips. The unknowing was what scared you more.

This was why you left your last town. Bait and play was your pass time. You could never let supposed nice guys like Bucky know you knew his intentions. Surely the other guy didn’t try to sleep with you. That’s what was scary. You didn’t wanna fuck your way out of this one. That was so gross. Bucky was attractive.

Tall and bearded, tattoos here and there, broad and tough as well. But your body was a temple. And he just wasn’t someone you wanted inside.

“What’re you thinking about, buttercup?”

“You” good answer.

Bucky’s toothy smile filled your gaze as you looked at him. His eyes were darting between yours and briefly down to your lips. It was bound to happen. Might as well start prepping for the inevitable. You knew you could kick and scream and fight back as hard as your body allowed. You knew it would be useless at the end of the night. You stared straight forward as his, unfortunate, soft lips met the side of your face.

You wanted to despise him. Wanted to feel sick by his touch. Yet you couldn’t get yourself to feel that way. You chewed on your lower lip as he moved the wet warm kisses down your face and along your jaw. Your eyes began to burn from unshed tears. “Bucky-“ you choked on your spit as you looked at him again. “I don’t wanna do this. I want to go home”

Bucky's hand was heavy against your bare thigh as he moved himself closer. “Shhh” he hushed softly as he moved to start laying you down. Your nails dug into his shoulder as you tried to stop him from pushing you down. “I’m serious” you winced at your voice. The crack made you sound weak.

“It’s okay, baby. Just lay down” you laid down with a small huff, clenching your fists against his chest as he settled himself between your thighs. Which he forced open with his broad waist. “Don’t fight me, dove. You wanna make me happy don’t you?” You stifled a whine as you looked up at him.

You didn’t wanna get hurt. You were still alarmingly unaware of what he was capable of. This is one of the things he was capable of though. Taking who and whatever he wanted. Without an inkling of emotion.

“Do you want me to be happy?” You fluttered your eyes open with a sharp sniffle. “Yes” Bucky's smile made you feel sick to your stomach. The way his growing bulge was snuggly pressed against your dry core had you tearing up.

In a way you still felt bad for him. Was this the only way he could get girls? By forcing himself upon them? “I’m gonna take you. And you’re gonna like it. And you’re gonna beg for more” he trailed his lips across your cheek with a low chuckle. “So gorgeous. And so breedable”

You found yourself nodding as you listened to him. The only way out was to obey. And pray that he would boot you out of the house afterwards.

His hands crept their way up and under your skirt. Once your favorite piece in your closet was soon to become garbage. “Good girl” his thumb moved from your thigh to rub your slit through your panties. “There she goes getting wet. Sometimes I can smell you” he seemed like he was speaking to himself.

Just talking about everything he’s noticed and smelled and wanted to do to your body. His thumb pressed harsher against your clit, drawing a deep breath from you. Dammit it felt so good. Your eyes slipped shut as his fingers moved around your pussy. The sheer material was the only thing stopping his fingertips from feeling you bare.

He pushed your panties to the side as he unbuckled his belt. “Just keep your legs open.” He muttered. You rolled your lips together as you watched him pull his jeans open with a small smile. “Good little dove. Shut up and take it” he slapped the tip of his achingly hard cock against your pussy. He pushed in slowly. Eager to feel you wrap yourself around him. Despite the dryness and the uncomfortable sensation.

Your legs were suddenly jolted over his shoulders. Your calves rested upon his strong shoulders as he started to move his hips. Fingertips digging restlessly into your soft skin as he wasted no time with thrusting his hips. No warm up. No foreplay. No kissing.

Just his heavy hand around your throat and his grossly hard cock piercing you over and over. His fingers felt like they were about to break your neck, digging in so deep as he pushed and pulled your body as he pleased.

“Bucky” you cried as your hands started to fight him. Fists bashing into his muscles and your legs doing everything they could to push him away. “Take it. Make me happy” you were trying so hard to just push through. Give him what he so desperately needed so he would leave you alone.

You groaned loudly as you felt your impending orgasm. Your body was growing hotter by the second as his dick hit spots no other guy has ever been able to hit. And tomorrow morning you would surely hate yourself enjoying it. Even if it was only enjoyable for short spurts. You didn’t hate yourself for letting him take you.

You hated him for thinking he could do that. And that he would get away with it so easily. He pressed his palms against the back of your thighs to put you into a deeper mating position, positioning himself so the tip of his cock was kissing your cervix. “I’m gonna fill you- fuck- fill your stupid little cunt with cum” he snarled.

His teeth were bared. Jaw clenched tight as he felt himself grow impossibly closer. You tried to control your body from squirming as you felt yourself grow closer as well. You couldn’t cum from this. You couldn’t allow yourself to feel this kind of pleasure from a man who had to force his way onto you.

You watched in horror as he released with a loud moan. It was almost hot watching him cum. His eyebrows furrowed and his jaw loosened as he filled you with what felt like endless spurts of cum. Bucky’s hands released your throat and a sick smirk fell upon his features as you took a deep inhale.

His plump lips pressed a sloppy kiss against your dry mouth. “Did so good,” he praised quietly. Almost as if this was just a roleplay. This was just a game to him. He pulled himself out of your abused pussy with no disregard. You wiped your cheeks harshly and moved to sit up. You ignored the sharp pains in your hips, your thighs and your poor neck.

“I’ll get you an Uber home” he swirled the red liquid around with a small hum. “You don’t mind right? I’m sure you’ll be safe. No one would hurt you” you scoffed in disgust. You wanted to hurt him. You wanted to beat him to the ground and ruin his life as best as you could.

And you would.

It only took 2 weeks after the event for Bucky to finally feel accomplished. He did what he wanted to do. He got the outcome he desired. “Have a good rest of your day” his smile was warm as he finished checking the final customer of the morning rush. He eyed the girl as she left before slumping back into his chair. He could still hear a couple voices here and there. But nothing to worry about.

“I’ll be right back, Sandra” Bucky’s body was riddled with goosebumps when he heard that voice. He wasn’t one to jump to conclusions right away. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. There had to be other girls in the city that sounded like you. You wouldn’t be that dumb to show back up.

“Good morning, James” His gaze floated up from his book as you stood in front of him. Your week off work was needed. You had to recollect yourself. And you wanted to make him squirm in fear that you’d come back. “I brought you a coffee”

“Don’t drink it too fast though. And sorry if it tastes a little odd. I wasn’t sure what all you’d like in your coffee” it did taste a little salty.

puckssbunny™ 2022

[yuseirra]

hope youre doing better :(

after the stuff with projmoon snowballed into... wildly gesturing at the witch hunts... yeah, it makes complete sense to just be so. distraught, over it all.

i hope one day you can feel safe to be on twitter, especially given how much of a big network it was for artists, or be able to find a new network that is just as good. and i hope you stay safe, and find comfort in p3r, given how soon it is to release :)

your art has always been really soft and beautiful, and just. i love the way your colouring works? especially after learning it is all individual strokes? between those, and the comics which are always a delight to read, even when i have no idea what the media its about is...

please stay safe

Hello anon!// I'm so happy you care about my feelings and your message is very considerate, I'm glad I could put out my feelings in words and have so many of you show care for me. It's kind of sad, on how there's people giving out the pain and they are really not the ones being affected by how I feel, whereas, I'm making a lot of people who care for my welfare worry but that's pretty much how everything goes all the time... I wish it weren't that way. I've been trying very hard to look at the good sides and remain cheerful and retain hope and be loving, as I could. However it's been a little hard lately kinda, it's been affecting me in a really bad way and I could feel it crawl up my skin so I had to let something out in order to allow me some breathing space. In order to be a good yuseirra (which I want to be) I know I have to be true to myself.

Before I begin anything, everyone's been so kind to me and I respect that. I don't hold any grudge against someone who mistreated me in person because there were none (which is what I consider to be a miracle!). To be honest, I had no reason to discard my decade old account with so many fond memories if looking at a personal standpoint. Still, I kept getting agonized because I kept encountering so many of these toxicity and cruelty being thrown at people, I wanted to do something about it but online's just not the place to go. There's always this huge-,, risk of being misunderstood here, harassed, being slandered, and being broken apart into pieces and people aren't willing to listen to each other, a lot of them jump straight into conclusions and they are so eager to decide and go strike as hard as they can because mildly put, they have something on their minds that they think are important and are very just in their own way. It may be nothing new, but it's grown in such a huge scale where I originate to the extent I just don't think it's all right to overlook. It's not fine. It's really, really bad. It's been dragging me down, so draining, making me lose hope on internet and how well it can be used as a medium to communicate, which is an idea I don't want to carry in my heart for so long...

It's a bit like treading on ice on a constant basis. I have to be very careful with my words all the time. I think I did "alright" myself (I can never be sure but I try) but seeing things happen is another thing. That alone put me in so much pain. It feels like talking to a wall. I wouldn't say I feel exactly helpless about it, but I did feel like I wasn't going to help anything the way I am now. What should I do? What could I do? I kept thinking about it, I never want to add on to that kind of behavior or add some kind of momentum to it. I won't contribute to it. I am thinking about what I can do. '-')9

Distraught.. I do think that's the word. Hehe, remember how when you're overlevelled in tartarus and you can encounter some shadows, that are all distressed? I've been playing p3p again, and it made me think about how I was feeling a little. "Distressed".. I am very distressed. And I can't say I like what's happening around me, it's not a pretty sight to look at. Overall, I am disheartened and sad.

But that doesn't mean I'm weak, or that I'm some underlevelled shadow waiting to be exterminated, oh no I'm not weak at all. It's because I am a sensitive person who cares a lot. I'm hurt because I care enough to want things to be better.

I have amazing anons and friends who've been supporting me, so I think I'll be okay in the long run. I was so happy from the messages I got yesterday and it once again helped me realize there's a lot of warmth and good in this world and that people are willing to help each other out, it's a faith I want to keep and you guys give it to me. I'm glad I can meet all of you!///

Mhm! It's a shame I stepped out of the platform but I'd like to reach more people through my art, I still have a ways to go in terms of improvement, but art's been a way to communicate with more people for me. Rn I'll take a good rest, and find comfort, recharge a bit and I'll be able to be the person I want to be/share my good sides as a human being! When you're very sad or strained, it's a lot harder to do that and some parts of you that you don't want to show off keeps rubbing off out of your words and actions. It's tragic and embarrassing when that happens...

no one is perfect. I wish people can be kinder to one another, because from what I've learned through the ages, yeah there ARE people that are irredeemable but they are the minority!! Most people want to be understood, and they have something going on that you don't really understand from your own perspective. You don't know what another person is going through, so how can you judge someone so quickly? I don't think I'll be able to do that even if I had the ability to read minds. Which is (by that I mean the mind and human psychology)a subject I was always so intrigued about. The more I learn about it, it's very complex and delicate, sometimes it tends to be foolish; but yet, aren't we all since we all are human after all?

This grew so long but I have to comment towards your compliment towards my art ;v;.. I'm glad I draw whenever I find someone who shows it a lot of affection and looks at it with much care, thank you for using those tender adjectives to describe my drawings.. "soft", "beautiful", I love it!/// Now I can see my own art that way as well! thinking yeah, that kind anon earlier, they said my art was soft, yes it's soft indeed.. hhhsh and that's wonderful.

I also want to say, I do put a lot of thought into my comics when I write the dialogues for them.. I read them over a lot to see if they make sense and have some sort of unity that wraps them all together as one! Usually I have some feeling I want to express, and a lot of the times I want to show what and how these two characters feel towards each other(on many occasions if not most, they care for one another) through it and I'm glad to know it's been giving you delight even regardless of what the original material is!! I'm glad I could make something fun even for someone who isn't familiar with the fandom too!

I will be happy to share more with you anon, recently, I feel like I'm on a bit of a roll with art! I am getting better and I think my art is growing over the years. I look forward to showing you and the others more things, so will you be here with me? :) I'll be happy to have you here!

I'll try my best to stay safe! Indeed, my choices earlier was to do just that '-')9 I want to be with you all for a long time.

See you around anon!!

Sincerely yours, Yuseirra

[earlgreytea68]

Ruminations on Social Media Platforms

Since Tumblr has decided that it Needs to Make Money and the Only Way to Make Money is to turn all users into Mindless Servants of the Algorithm, I've been thinking a lot about social media platforms.

Tbh, I'm always thinking a lot about social media platforms, it's kind of part of my field of scholarly endeavor, if you will. But I think a lot about them not in the abstract but as an active user of many of them. And Tumblr is my faaaavorite. And of course so much of what makes Tumblr my favorite is what makes it "unprofitable" or whatever. I put these words in quotes because the definition of "unprofitable" is an extremely narrow one in our capitalist society. Could a website that has allowed many people to form communities / relationships / friendships / connections with people they would otherwise never have met in ways that have vastly improved their lives really be considered unprofitable, ever? Could a website that gives people any moments of pleasure or joy or delight be considered unprofitable? Could a website that sometimes makes you think or at least give you pause be considered unprofitable?

Yeah, it's also a website that's, you know, a hellsite, but, like, it's on the internet and it's made up of people, c'est la vie.

I left Twitter when the Elon Musk thing went down, partly because in those days he was actively taunting Twitter's userbase and it felt a little like I was just on this social media platform being bullied by its owner? Idk, I didn't like it, so I decided to take a break until things calmed down. I really thought he'd get bored and sell it, so kudos to Elon Musk for not doing that. But, anyway, sometimes I think about going back to Twitter. I miss my friends there, I miss knowing what they're up to. Twitter was actually, let's face it, terrible for keeping up with people but Tweetdeck, where you could put people in chronological order and better organize things, was great for it! (As usual, the only way to make the social media platform usable was to use it in a way it wished you wouldn't.)

But I've been going back to Twitter recently to find Tourdust content and I was reminded that Twitter is just...awful. Like, it is almost impossible to have an encounter with Twitter that doesn't drag you down a rabbit hole of terrible discourse of people being awful. I fully admit this is my own fault, for clicking on things I know are going to upset me, but this is why it's better for me just to be off Twitter entirely. Twitter's functionality makes it way too easy to trace and follow outrage, and then you end up just hate-clicking deeper and deeper into these spirals. My mental health is much happier for having given up Twitter, because I'm not a strong enough person not to get sucked into all the unhealthy snippiness of the place.

The reason I've been on Twitter looking for Tourdust updates is precisely because it's better-organized than Tumblr, easier to find the stuff you want to find (in among all the other stuff you wish you wouldn't find, of course). So Tumblr's poor searchability is why I was driven to Twitter, BUT I've come to the conclusion that in a lot of ways that is a feature and not a bug. I can see the ripples of a bunch of kerfuffles that have happened in bandom recently, they lap delicately up against my dash, but by the time they get to me they're the tiniest of waves instead of a tsunami, and if I wanted to figure out what went down, it would take me actual effort. I'm sure I could do it, of course -- it's not like it's utterly impossible -- but it's not as frictionless as figuring out on Twitter. I have to make more of an active effort to go in search of the drama, it's not just RIGHT THERE blinking at me to click on it, and that makes me better able to resist it. I am at heart a lazy person, after all.

So, like, in a way Tumblr doesn't function right, and in a way Tumblr functions beautifully. It all depends on what you're using Tumblr for. And Tumblr was always my escape platform, even when I was still active on Twitter. When I was feeling anxious or sad or upset, I would scroll my Tumblr dash and it would be mindless and soothing and endless (I follow a lot of people. This is for me the key to Tumblr, but see, it all depends on how you're using Tumblr! They don't all share my interests anymore, but I don't care. I just want to sometimes not be in the shouting match that Twitter seems to devolve into so often). And so this is why I feel like it does make sense that there should always be multiple social media platforms in the world. This idea that social media platforms seem to have that they should be the ULTIMATE ONLY ONE is so harmful. Different platforms are for different things. Chill out. (Of course, this is the conquer-the-world mentality formed by capitalism. I am really worried what's going to happen when Netflix realizes it can't keep growing subscribers indefinitely because the population of the planet is finite. Does it know this? I don't think it knows this...)

I was thinking of all this not just because of Tumblr's algorithm thing but because everyone's fussing about Threads, and like, in a way I get it. Clearly I still have a need for Twitter in my life even if I'm simultaneously aware how dysfunctional it is for me. I get that everyone's still trying to find a way to replace Twitter. But first of all, I dislike Facebook as a company so intensely, like, a lot. (I refuse to call it Meta. That's how much I dislike it lol). Second of all, the fact that people seem to think it's a good thing that Threads integrates with your Instagram, I'm just like, ......imagine behaving on Twitter exactly the same way you behave on Instagram? What??? This doesn't even computer to me lol. The same platform that wants you to post photos of your kids should be integrated with the one where people are constantly just yelling at each other over nothing???? Those seem like two completely different places to me?????

Facebook is obsessed with the idea that everyone needs to be Exactly The Same on every corner of the internet, and I just do not agree with that at all. Imagine me being the same on LinkedIn as I am on Tumblr. Like, God, what a boring world that would be!! What a boring life I would be leading!! I guess some people ARE that way, and either that is awesome that they are so fully themselves at work as to just post porn they've written, or it's that they never have any interests that aren't totally aligned with work, which just...is astonishing to me.

What I REALLY think Threads is doing -- and honestly what I think Facebook essentially wants -- is to turn all of us into some curated facsimile of ourselves. I mean, all social media does that, but if you only have one facsimile of yourself, then you never have any other aspects to explore. And if you only have one facsimile of yourself, it's probably going to be the one most designed to make yourself money. Like, isn't that what everyone wants to be doing these days? Using social media to make money? I saw people talking about Threads, and every single one of them was talking about building their brand.

So in a way I am totally sympathetic to Tumblr's problem. They're right. Social media is just a way to sell us stuff now, and if they're not selling us stuff, it's a "problem." Capitalism has finally succeeded in commodifying literally every relationship we have. Literally every single one. And we kind of just let it happen, like there was no other possible way the internet could ever have been designed but to create a handful of billionaires making money off of the fact that people want to feel connected to each other. And then taking that fact and making it all about "but what's the point of connection without making me some more billions?"

Anyway. I wish things weren't like that. Tumblr still is my favorite. Who knows what happens next. Sigh.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

A Recipe for Disaster (Chap. 11/FINAL!)

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7 | Pt. 8 | Pt. 9 | Pt. 10 | AO3

hooo boy, here's the end!! sorry about the wait, i really said 'here have two chapters back to back' last time then took forever to get this one out.

there were really only a few snapshots i wanted to capture post-movie but for some reason had a hard time putting it all together, but here it is!!! i hope you all love, and thank you for reading!!

Hopper, Dustin, and Wayne had pulled Steve into Wayne’s office a couple days after the wedding; They all explained to each other their sides of the mystery of one Edmund Muñoz.

Steve explained the whole foot-stomping thing: “At the ball, he told me his name was ‘Eddie. Just Eddie.’ and I accidentally stepped on his foot. He told me I could step on his foot anytime, so that’s what I did when he arrived at the palace.” to the delight of the other three.

Wayne talks a little about how Eddie’d been raised. “I tried my damndest to get him out from under the thumb of that father of his, but even after he grew up, it was like his father could do no wrong.”

“I wish I knew he was your nephew sooner…he could’ve been like a big brother….”

“I wanted to introduce you both as soon as I married your mom, son, but my brother wasn’t having it.” Wayne shakes his head in exasperation.

“That man is the absolute worst.” Hopper gripes, face dark. “Steve, the incident at the review of the guard was the Viscount. The stable boy they had walking beside Sandy was paid off by him in order to scare her with a fake snake. I called that bastard out on it directly after.”

“Eddie came t’talk to me about it the next day, too. He told me he was through dealing with his father then, and apologized for not getting his head outta his ass sooner.”

“And it was the Viscount who called the media and told them they’d be at the lake?” Dustin asks, mostly just to confirm.

“Yep.” Hopper nods solemnly. “Speaking of which…really Steve? You’re smarter than that.”

Steve’s face is on fire. “He’s charming and drop-dead gorgeous. Sue me.”

---

In the months between his almost wedding and his upcoming coronation, Steve doesn’t see hide nor hair of Eddie. 

Chrissy told him, the next time he saw her, that he’d been laying low while The Court of Public Opinion™ ran its course and he was out of the forefront of their minds.

“I’m only supposed to tell you that he’s laying low.” She had said. “But I am also going to tell you that he does not. Stop. Talking. About. You. It’s frankly ridiculous.”

His face turned red at that, and Chrissy moved to follow Robin (now officially her girlfriend, good job Robin) when Steve stopped her “Tell him I’m thinking about him, too?”

She nods, but says “That’s disgusting.” in a completely flat voice, this time actually walking away.

“Not in that way!” he called after her. Well. Not always like that.

In the end, The Court had decided they liked him; his intrusion of the wedding being seen as swoon-worthy to the masses, but some still hesitant about him trying to usurp the throne from the long standing Renaldi family.

Now, two months to the day from Joyce and Hopper’s wedding, it’s Steve’s coronation day. 

He will be King of a whole-ass country later today.

He’s sitting on the edge of the throne, feet flat on the floor, elbows on his knees, and his chin resting on his folded hands. He looks over to his side where Concrete had made himself comfy on a frankly ridiculous sized bed for one (admittedly large) cat. “What do you think, Lord Concrete, d’ya think I’ll make a good King?” Steve asks aloud, mostly just glad that his cat was in his presence for once.

“Indeed you will.”

Steve snaps his head to his right and sits up straight as the source of the voice rounds the column next to him.

“Eddie.” Steve breathes. His arms and legs threaten to hurl him forward to the other man, but he manages to stay seated. 

“If I might be so bold, I would like an audience with His Royal Highness?”

Steve fights back a grin, plays along, gesturing to the space in front of him. 

“And what is your dilemma young man?” Dustin would be proud of his own perfectly crafted haughty voice.

Eddie smiles, his eyes twinkling. “You are, in fact.” Eddie sinks to one knee, bracing his arms on his upright one. “I am in love with the King to be, and I am inquiring as to if he loves me too.”

Steve's brain shoots into the stratosphere. Love. Love? He loves him? Eddie loves him?

He manages to come back down in about a second and a half, “Do you have a chicken for my table?” Steve muses.

Eddie looks surprised at that, but smiles quickly. “Uh, no. My kitchen was fresh out of chickens.”

“Oh, well..” Steve sits back on the throne, pretending to weigh his options.

It takes about another second and a half and he’s hurtling forward, Eddie rising to his feet to meet him. Both of them lose their breath when their chests collide.

“You love me.” Steve whispers, still disbelieving, into Eddie’s neck.

“I love you, Steve.” Eddie whispers back.

Steve pulls back just far enough to see the other man’s face, “Kiss me.”

Eddie beams. That same smile from their night at the lake. “You got it, sweetheart.”

He does. The same sparks and fireworks that were present in their first ‘barely a kiss’ crackle and shine brighter now. Eddie’s mouth is soft against his, and they both sigh when their tongues meet.

Eddie’s arms tighten around his waist and suddenly he’s being lifted, their lips separating in laughter as Eddie spins them both in a circle before he’s set on his feet again.

“I love you too, Eddie.”

---

Eddie’s heart is beating a mile a minute. 

No, faster than a mile a minute.

He can’t believe he’s here. After all the bullshit he’s done in his life, he, Edmund Muñoz, is attending the coronation of the Crown Prince of Genovia.

Okay, being here, he can believe; he’s a respected member of this society, and probably would’ve been invited anyway, but he’s here and counted amongst the most valued friends and family of said Prince. His boyfriend.

He takes in the people around the room: Jim Hopper, former head of palace security is standing at the bottom of one of the ballroom’s staircases, not for work, but because his wife, the current Queen, will be entering on that side and he will be there to greet her.

The Crown Prince’s right hand lesbian man is standing at the bottom of the other staircase on Eddie’s left, his childhood best friend on her other side because they’re dating now (and are Genovia’s hottest couple “Suck on that, Eduardo!”).

The Prince’s ex-fiance would be at the side of her new beau if he wasn’t the head of the palace’s photography/PR division and running round shooting everything, and if she didn’t also already have her hands full writing down every single thing in front of her, now that she was the one leading the Palace’s press releases.

There was a gaggle of seven seemingly mis-matched teenagers standing front and center of the rest of the stuffy other dignitaries that were invited, as Prince Stephan’s personal guests.

Michael, crown prince of his own country and almost brother-in-law to the King-to-be, is hand in hand with his boyfriend Will, one half of the formerly mentioned Jim Hopper’s Wonder Twins. His sister Ellie has one hand locked with the Prime Minister’s son, Dustin, and the other is hooked onto the elbow of her best friend and up-and-coming chef extraordinaire, Maxine (“Mark my words Maxine, you are going to be bigger than Fieri.” “Call me Maxine again and your next batch of brownies will be laced with asbestos…but thank you, Eddie.”). Max, who in turn has her other pinkie hooked onto young Lord Lucas Sinclair’s. Then finally, Lucas’ sister Erica is pretending not to care about the event happening around her (but even Eddie can tell she’s excited).

The Party. Their Family. This weird gaggle of royals and non-royals all brought together by Steve in some way or another.

Eddie’s pulled out of his thoughts about his new family with the loud battering of a drumline drumroll starting up. The band members positioned on either staircase start playing, and there they are.

Queen Joyce looks regal, as always, this time with the addition of the Genovian crown jewels on her head. She’s in a beautiful maroon colored dress and cape that she swishes out of the way when she turns to step down the stairs.

But Steve, his Steve. He’s gorgeous in an ivory pear tree suit and maroon, fur lined, cape. Despite how nervous he must be, he doesn’t look it. He looks confident, radiant as he strides down the steps.

“He looks extraordinary.” Eddie says to no one. 

“They both do.” comes a blubbering voice from slightly behind him; turning to look, it’s Murray, sobbing. Eddie smirks and shakes his head, turning his attention back to the prince.

He reaches the bottom of the steps, and Eddie’s fingers twitch, itching to reach out for him, to grab his hand. Instead, he smiles crookedly at his boyfriend in the fleeting glance he gets before he has to step by as rehearsed.

Steve steps up to the throne and gathers the cape from behind him to turn and sit in front of his people.

Once he’s seated properly, the archbishop starts in on his scripted spiel, and while speaking, moves to Joyce, standing at Steve’s side, and gingerly lifts the Genovian crown jewels from her majesty’s head, and places it atop Steve’s.

Another person in ceremonial garb brings in the orb and scepter then, laid carefully on a large ceremonial pillow. They kneel on the step in front of Steve, who reaches forward and lifts both easily.

The speech ends with two very important questions. “Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the people of Genovia, according to the statutes in Parliament agreed on, and the respective laws and customs of the same? Will you, in your power, cause law and justice and mercy to be executed in all judgements?”

“I solemnly promise so to do” Steve’s voice does not waver.

The archbishop moves aside, and Steve turns his head first to Joyce, then to him. Eddie tries beaming a message into the other man’s brain when Steve’s brilliant hazel eyes lock with his chocolate brown. “I love you, you look amazing, you are perfect, you’ve got this, I love you so damn much.”

Eddie can feel what Steve tells him in return. “I love you too, Eddie. I can’t wait to kiss you stupid.” and seals it with a wink

Okay, maybe that’s just what Eddie wants to hear.

Steve stands and the band starts up once more, playing the Genovian national anthem. And even though he knew it was coming, Eddie had to fight back a laugh at it being Wayne who’s leading the gathered guests in singing.

They all sing, and in the last lines, Eddie watches Steve take a few steadying breaths.

The last note of the anthem ends, and immediately the majordomo bangs his staff twice. “Presenting his Royal Majesty, Stephan Artur Renaldi the Third, King of Genovia.”

-

That evening, after dark, Steve and the rest of his family retreat to the palace grounds to make the coronation official.

“You’ve got this, sunshine.” Eddie encourages, giving his side a squeeze with the arm he has hooked around Steve’s waist before he moves to stand beside Wayne and Dustin.

Steve accepts the bow from his trainer, this time tipped with a flammable end.

“The ceremonial shooting of the flaming arrow through the coronation ring.” the majordomo bellows once Steve’s arrow is lit.

He takes a deep breath, focusing on the tower and ring in front of him, and Eddie’s words filter through his mind as he takes aim.

“Use your mouth as an anchor.”

Steve touches his fingertips to the corner of his mouth.

“Lower this elbow..”

He feels the ghost of Eddie’s fingers dragging down his arm as he does.

“..and relax this hand.”

At least now he can hold Eddie’s hand whenever he wants to. ‘Yep, still corny.’ he thinks to himself.

“Then…release.”

The arrow flies, and the ring erupts in flame.

Steve smiles in surprise and turns toward Eddie, only the find the other man already heading to him, scooping him into his arms.

“You did it! I’m so proud of you, Stevie.”

Steve relaxes into Eddie’s arms and breathes a sigh of relief, taking in the sounds of his family cheering around him.

—-

One year after his coronation, under what they are now calling their tree on the palace grounds, site of multiple picnics, long nights, and slow dances.

It’s during one of those slow dances that Eddie pauses, says he needs to say something.

As soon as he starts talking, Steve knows what’s coming, and his eyes burn with unshed tears immediately.

“One year ago, I brought you here; one year ago I knew I wanted to be with you until the end of my days. I may have fallen for you when we first danced together at the ball, I may have loved you every day since, but it was that night that I knew my life would never be even a fraction of what it could, without you in it.” Eddie sinks to one knee, much like he did the day of Steve’s coronation, this time, he had a small box in his hand “I am so in love with you, Stevie, will you marry me?”

Eddie opens the box and Steve's laugh comes out a sob. It’s his grandmother's ring, the one he’d proposed to Nancy with.

“Joyce was in on this, wasn’t she?” Steve is surprised his voice is as clear as it is, his throat tight with emotion.

Eddie grins up at him, mischievous as always.

Steve sinks down to Eddie’s level, the other man’s unoccupied hand coming up to help brace him on instinct. Kneeling in front of his fiancé, Steve says “Of course I'll marry you.”

Eddie’s face flashes briefly to relief, a blink-and-you’d-miss-it reaction, then he’s snapping the box closed and diving forward to capture Steve's lips with his.

“Mph!” Steve is struggling to kiss him, fighting back elated smile after smile, when Eddie lowers the two of them down to the ground below

While Steve is definitely not opposed to the feeling of Eddie atop him, he’s got other plans.

Steve flips the two of them over easily, straddling and pressing his hips into Eddie's in 0.5 seconds flat.

He lays himself down along Eddie’s torso and latches onto his neck. Between sucking kisses into Eddie’s throat that will ensure he’ll be wearing his hair down until they fade completely, and Eddie’s flustered gasps at his ministrations, Steve says “Nuh uh, I want my ring first, Muñoz.” before setting in on attacking his lips.

Eddie smiles beneath him and shifts, reaching down to his pocket again. He produces the box, managing to get his hands between them enough to open it to Steve.

Steve smiles, and sits up onto his heels, plucking the ring from the box and sliding it onto his finger. Eddie follows him up and locks his arms around him. 

Steve drapes one arm over Eddie’s shoulder automatically, attention still on his left hand. He’s struck by the realization that his grandmother’s ring on his third finger now sits comfortably beside the only other he’d been wearing, his grandfather's signet ring on his middle.

“It really is beautiful.”

Eddie’s is pressing his own kisses to Steve’s face and collarbone. “Only on you, sweetheart.” he purrs.

“You think it’d look better if it was the only thing I was wearing?” he asks nonchalantly, still looking at the diamond on his finger, and reveling in how quickly Eddie freezes beneath him.

In the next second, Steve’s laughing at how quickly Eddie’s got them both up and is nearly sprinting them back to their horses.

Their wedding a year later, of course, was a huge to-do and Steve goes all in with planning. Starting later that same night (early morning?) that Eddie proposed.

---

For a good month after his appearance in the independence day parade, Martín had all manner of inquiries about his adoption. Inquiries that the team that worked there took with extra caution. Luckily they did, because about 80% of those just wanted to be the ones to adopt Prince Steve’s favorite, and the other 20% (sadly) just were not good fits for him.

After that, the inquiries stopped. Until Steve decides to foster him, applying to adopt him fully on his own not even a month later.

The adoption is made official the day after Steve and Eddie get married, making him every bit their son, and therefore every bit the new heir apparent to the throne of Genovia. The now-six-year-old Martin absolutely adores ALL his Aunts and Uncles, but if you ask him, his Aunt Max is his most favorite (a fact that both makes Max want to cry, and also scream in joy from the palace roof).

---

There had been quite a few public visitations since Steve had become King (at the first of which, he’d grinned as he announced: “There better not be any chickens in those baskets.”), now that they are married, Eddie would be joining him at the next one.

It was at this first visitation together, between one citizen taking their leave and the next taking their place, that Steve leaned over to Eddie at his side.

“We’re two for three, my love.”

His husband makes a noise like the breath had been punched from his lungs at that, his face morphing into a glowing smile, turning to Steve. “We are, aren’t we?”

Steve reaches for Eddie, who takes his hand immediately, turning it over and pressing a kiss to the back. “It’s better than I imagined.”

---

After 20 years of marriage, and 22 years on the throne, the official portrait of King Stephan Artur Renaldi III and his Prince Consort Edmund Théo Renaldi (“No way are you calling me King anything, Stevie, I stand by what I said at Jopper’s wedding.”) is commissioned. 

Crown Prince of Genovia, Martín Tomás Renaldi (who has grown to be quite the looker, unsurprisingly taking every bit after his father) is included for one copy of the painting, for Steve to keep in his personal study, but the official painting that’ll be hung beside Joyce and Bob is only he and Eddie. Eddie is standing behind Steve, a ringed hand on his shoulder, and Steve’s arm is curled up at the elbow to thread their fingers together.

They are both a bit older, only a few streaks of gray to their hair, but soon, the portrait is finished.

They’re in attendance when it’s hung in the throne room, much to the confusion of the palace staff tasked with hanging it.

“That’s it.” Steve says when the staff takes their leave.

“Hm? What’s ‘it’, sunshine?”

Steve grins “That’s all three.”

Okay, last couple notes:

I had Steve change the name he'd be known as when he became King, not for his ass of a father, but the grandfather he never knew

With the naming conventions of the British Monarchy as a guide though, I think he'd officially be King Stephan II since his father never became King, our Steve is only the second Stephan to take the Thone, but the Third of that name in actuality (does that make sense?? lmao).

Of course Eddie would drop Muñoz ASAP, and THANK YOU @henderdads with helping me decide on his middle name!!!!

Martín Renaldi?? Crown Prince of Genovia???? skldfaslkdfjsalk

And finally, again tagging @henderdads because this whole re-write/AU wouldn't exist without her encouragement on my original post (where it was originally Mia!Eddie and Nicholas!Steve), and would be seriously lacking in other places without her input!!! Cass, ILYSM!!!

Last round of tags!! @sadcanadianwinter @hopefulslothcollecter @steveshairychest @sidebarre @resident-gay-bitch @kaspurrcat @melkene @livewondrousss @steddieasitgoes @mightbeasleep @princessstevemunson @totallybitchin @potentialheartofdarkness @spectrum-spectre @munsonfamilyband @knitsforthetrail

[thegeminisage]

i'm 'tell me what it was like in 2014' anon and can i just say. i am so honored by the time and care you put into that answer. WOW. it was such a delight to read and kind of vicariously experience. i'm 18 now so i was 9 when winter soldier came out, needless to say it was not really on my radar. But i've always been interested in those kind of golden tumblr age fandoms (doing destiel from 2020-2022 was like. the best experience of my lifeeee) and even like in middle school i was scrolling through pinterest screenshots of avengers incorrect quotes etc. that creative generativeness and collective celebration seems like. such a utopia honestly. what you described, and the cultural context of it being the mid 2010s and how media and politics and the internet wereback then seems so perfectly aligned. i'm happy you got to experience something so special! re: not easily conquered. i read it a few years ago just because of how renowned it was and. well you KNOW. and anyway the crazy fucking whiplash i got from realizing the supernatural blogger i followed later was EMILY??. the fandom's interest in history and culture is also especially beautiful to me. i will literally never see the winged victory the same way again. ik people always say fics written 2012-2015 have crack in them but stucky was on another level. people were doing literal highbrow analysis and art..that banana fic. i have i love you like rlb saved on my notes app from like 2018 when i was in middle school. the dedication and like crazy amount of work that went into the fandom is just out of this world to me. like i'd give my soul to be there honestly.. you just dont get things like that anymore. again thank you so so much for your wonderful long answer, and like honestly. if i ever pursue some project on fandom history i might ask to interview you or sth. but anyway, suffice it to say: i really really wish i could have gotten to see it first hand, but thank goodness i can still go back and read fic and look at fanart and. thank you it's been long long time by helen forrest. and i''m so glad people who were active online then are still on tumblr to talk about it all

hi sorry it took me a minute to reply i was doing accursed ten year rewatch of Movie. i have an extended reply.

you should listen to this...someone sent this to my friend and it unlocked memories i didn't knew i had

much like rlb, which was insane of you to remember, because i sure didn't. dropped that on the groupchat earlier and got to gleefully watch the horror of memories unlocked unfold on their faces

also so true about destiel tumblr. sustained madness. i romanticized stucky tumblr a little in my answer bc of nostalgia like i wasn't also making mortal enemies at the same time (i sometimes spot the urls of people who made me mad back then and have a ratatouille flashback) i was making those lifelong friends BUT you're not missing anything major bc the destiel madness FAR exceeded the stucky madness. there was just so much more mania to it.

when i was in high school i had the enduring desire to have been born in the 60s so i could be a hippie full time. i thought their clothes and anti-establishment attitudes were groovy. i feel like this is you about mid-2010s tumblr and i absolutely love that for you.

that said, you may not get movies like cap2 anymore but you will certainly get fandoms like it...i recently got into trek and reading spockanalia and all their vintage fic from the 60s and 70s and 80s and seeing in some ways how spock shock is so similar to destiel madness (and THEY didn't even have the internet) has taught me that the girlies gender neutral have been out here and primed to go insane from day one and that as long as there are mentally ill teens and 20-somethings who like media there will always be people who go insane about the media. they will grow into the 30-somethings and 40-somethings and higher that write the good fic and sell the smutty fanzines under the tables at cons. there will never be another tos or cap2 or nov 5 but certainly there will always be SOMETHING to go joyfully nuts about on the internet. the tricky part is just finding ur people

[remyfire]

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

[nectar-cellar]

Does Mortimer know about Vlad? If so , what does he plan to do about it?

i am delighted to receive your inquiry anon...

allow me to tell you about the alternate universe that exists only in my mind...

bella disappeared (ALIENS?), came back with no memory of her past, and then took a long journey from strangetown to pleasantview to bridgeport where mortimer now lives and works, and where cassandra attends college. on bella's road trip to bridgeport, she drove thru moonlight falls where she met vlad and told him about her odd predicament.

so vlad vaguely knows about her piece of shit husband but bella didn't tell mortimer about vlad. pardon my language 💋

if mortimer knew about vlad, he would feel angry, possessive, and vengeful. he would probably try hard to prevent bella from leaving him, not because he loves her, but for his own ego. he'd be more upset at bella than vlad.

as a general rule, vlad prefers to stay out of human affairs that don't concern him. but if bella really wanted it, vlad could surely find a way to give ole morty a big scare, for funsies.

thank you for the question!

some more thoughts about my version of the goth family below the cut

mortimer is a successful cutthroat entertainment lawyer in the city which is how he made all his $$$. he first met bella when she was an up and coming fashion model from a working class background, while he was already established in his career. even though she didn't know it, bella had a promising career as a model which could have led to further tv appearances and business ventures. he saw her potential star quality and he convinced her to drop out of the spotlight to be a stay at home wife and mother instead, out in the pleasantview suburbs. naive, starstruck, and still unsure of her place in this glamorous new world, bella fell for his charming facade and the picture-perfect life he promised her. as their marriage went on, she started to realize who he truly was, and as a result she grew resentful of him and felt trapped in a gilded cage. although some part of her enjoyed motherhood, another part of her felt like this choice had been made for her by her husband's wishes, and wasn't something she might have chosen for herself if she could have a do-over.

BELLA worked as a model for a short time when she was quite young and she is only really known in niche fashion and social media circles. you can still find grainy photos and videos of her runway work and her magazine campaigns on the internet if you search for them. she is remembered for her great runway walk and her timeless, elegant beauty. her striking appearance and her mystique (what happened to this rising star? why did she disappear from the fashion world and the public eye?) has contributed to her small cult following.

MORTIMER had already been seeing DINA CALIENTE on the side for a while so bella's disappearance wasn't that hard for him to deal with, although it was great for his social image to play the heartbroken husband. his wife hated him and she was getting old anyways, he had to find excitement and romance elsewhere.

CASSANDRA has fond memories of her mother. as a teen, bella often took her out to the city to go shopping, to the spa and the salon, and out to lunch with her fun and fabulous friends while her father was at work. they bonded over fashion, which mortimer never particularly cared about or understood. to cassandra, bella was the cool fun parent, while mortimer was the strict fun-police. even though her parents doted on her and gave her everything she wanted, cassandra always thought something between her parents wasn't quite right. bella's disappearance has left a hole in cassandra's heart that feels like it will never heal.

and during all this, alexander is too young to really know what's going on, nor does he have as close a bond with bella as cassandra does.

so yeah <3 goth family drama!

[wifiwuxians]

quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

[sleevesareforlosers]

DISCUSSION GROUP!!!!

i’m looking forward to having some more free time at some point 😭 hopefully i’ll have more time to do sewing and stuff i haven’t gotten to in ages 🤞 & i’m really gonna try and continue my mandatory happiness mindset!!! (<- read abt it in laura jane grace’s book it’s like. maybe everything sucks but u can often choose to look at things in a positive light it’s really really helped me!! like. i can go into things w a positive mindset instead of a miserable one and control that at least yk?)

i’m currently out of town & it’s around the 30s. not bad wish it was snowing but i’ll take what i can get, i can wear my $10 80s windbreaker which i’m happy about!! and if i could be anywhere i’d want to be somewhere with snow but honestly? i’m quite content where i am i love doing big family christmas together.

and. i will be honest as much as i try to seek out new stuff to read/watch/listen to. i love rewatching &c. it’s rly nice and comfortable yk? i’m restarting how to train your dragon actually which is. so lovely <3 and i just did my semiannual big hero 6 watch which was delightful

uno reverse!!!! hope ur doing wonderfully :)

!!!!! fingers crossed for more free time! i've been doin a lot of sewing recently and i forgot how NICE it is so im rlly manifesting you get some more time w ur arts too! and YES thats a good thing to bring w you! i love ljg thats a rlly good philosophy. i should read her book huh

oh thats so fun! not bad weather and ALWAYS a bonus to be wearing a nice windbreaker. im glad ur havin fun doing family + xmas stuff! its one of my fave holidays for like exactly that reason

also okay SO fair of you. i feel like im rlly the same except im not even consistent w my rewatches lol. i SHOULD watch httyd again though. i never watched the third one but ik a lot of my friends rlly liked it

also i AM doing wonderfully thank you!!! for the uno reverse:

im lookin forward to getting cracking on a real job search again in the new year (not gonna start too far out from my current contract ending) and also my boyfriend is gonna come up here again at the end of january so thats like. SUPER exciting. and i think im gonna try and bring forward just like. idk i guess just trying to work on my communication and stuff ive def been working on that lately and i want to keep doing so!

it is currently cold as balls here (-11) and sunny today but its been snowing the last few days so we got like. two feet of snow. which i DO LIKE. i love snow even if its a little functionally irritating. idk where i would be if i could be anywhere rn. itd be nice to see my halifax friends again but itd also be nice to be [where my boyfriend lives] so. yknow. hard choice

and i think it kinda varies actually! im def better at reconsuming whatever media kind but i think i reread books a LOT less often and i try to do the same w movies. but i hardly EVER listen to new music and shows r id say a 50/50? i started derry girls today tho its fantastic

hope you're doing well too matt!!!

[embraceyourfandom]

I finally watched the Kinnporsche World Tour with my sister, who probably now thinks I'm even more แปลกๆ than she thought. (=weird, just love that word and cannot get it out of my head since Jeff Satur used it so many times.) Now I can't be spoiled anymore so I can un-blacklist all the kinnporsche related tags and see what has been going on in the fandom. Yay!

The show was such a delight. I was laughing and smiling so much that my face hurts. They have obviously had fun and that is always a great thing to see, people enjoying what they are doing. Makes me happy.

Yes, the subtitles lagged terribly, and did affect the enjoyment (still totally worth it!). I don't know who was more annoyed: sister who doesn't understand Thai at all, or I who understands tiny bits from here and there and is therefore acutely aware of the subtitles a) being half a minute late b) dropping third of the said things away. :/

I feel terrible for the translators, who are likely to get shit from this - it's not their fault. Simultane translating is hard. The translators should have been given at least song lyrics and scripted stuff beforehand so that they could have just dropped the texts in. Also I have seen a modern speech to text machine translating at work (amazing) that could have also been used alongside human translator(s) (I sincerely hope there was more than one translator...) I do wish this show will be available in some media that does subtitles anew. I especially regret I couldn't get half of what Tong said. He speaks so nicely and he is overall so wonderful and I want to love him a little bit more. :)

(I also would have felt bad about lagging subtitles during Mile's song - Monotone's เพลงรักเพลงหนึ่ง - but luckily I had just translated that as a practice, so I knew the lyrics and could just listen.)

Back to the good stuff. I cannot help but admire how talented people there are in the world. Music is one field that I lack both gifts and cultivation on. So to me people who are musically gifted and have nurtured that talent are pretty much as close to magic as anything in this world can be. So I've been awed and delighted to see how many of the cast plays instruments. And sings! And dances! So impressive. Okay so, maybe they were not always pitch perfect, but still so very good and they must have used so much time practicing!!!

The only one I would like to smack upside on the back of his stupid head is Jeff Satur, who obviously had problems with his throat but who still sang. Ouch. He is a professional musician - he should know better and take better care of his vocal cords (I'm not musically gifted, yeah, but I know plenty about physiology). Or maybe he knows his limits and what he can do without permanently scarring his cords. *shrug* Still made me have sympathy pain on high notes. He has such a beautiful voice and he is such a talented songwriter that I would hate for him to damage his voice.

There was oodles of creative insanity and I'm dying to dig into the behind the scenes material to know how much input they had on their clothes and such. The show was a crazy patchwork of their personalities and I absolutely loved it because of that. I hope everyone had some of their wishes come true. :)

I loved how the cast gave so much recognition for the other people who made the series - backstage crew is important and often gets overlooked. It is also always touching how important family is in Thailand. And of course I was all hearteyes over them being such a found family. I have been in a couple of amateur theatre groups and I totally understand. Making a big creative project together does create attachment. It has been years since I have been in any production (Acting? Me? Oh, no no no! I am a back stage kind of person), but I am still in touch with those people and fondly remember the great times we had together.

Overall, a wonderful show. (Sister liked it a lot too.)

[king-there0f]

🖊🖊🖊 Gush about three of your OCs!!

weeping and crying thaNK YOU LA ;v;

Made myself make decent cleaning headway before I sat down to answer these. Gonna pick three at random!

Under the readmore are little snippets about 🖊Perci, 🖊Thalliah, and 🖊Tori.

🖊PERCI

You know this guy! He's actually ended up being one of my favorite OCs that I've designed in a while ;v; Perci is a Passimian poke-human with an unsavory past, but incredibly optimistic outlook. He'll never turn down a fight and his stature and appearance might be initially intimidating, but he'd carry your groceries for you or walk you home late at night in a heartbeat.

Perci never learned how to read and this bites him in the ass from time to time, most often in the form of pit-fighting contracts that he blindly signs without being able to question the fine print....or... any of the print really.

I absolutely adore that I got to make a character drawing from some of my absolute favortite characters in media. Perci is a soup seasoned with Vash the Stampede, Zack Fair, Sanosuke Sagara, and Zagreus, and I love him. Big scary dude covered in tattoos and nasty scars but is actually rly nice (most of the time) and kind who is missing a finger and tells kids he lost it from running with scissors or not looking both ways before he crossed the street.

His friendship with Kitan (OC belonging to luc!) makes me wanna cry sometimes, i love them dearly. Unlikely but meaningful and lasting friendships always make me wanna weep. Truly just so soft for them.

I always want to design Perci more tattoos but that means I have to draw more tattoos. Perci is my "I wish I could get more tattoos" surrogate character. Who I give tattoos to because I can't afford any for myself lmao.

Drawing Perci's pecs and biceps make me happy lol. I truly just designed him to be incredibly self-indulgent and tbh, everyone should do this more often it's so fun.

I should really draw Perci more I've had a lot of little comic ideas for him floating around in my head I am just bad at actually committing them to paper.

Here is a tumblr post that I feel suits Persi fairly well:

🖊THALLIAH

Thalliah is one of my GW2 sylvari. When I designed her my goal was "I want her to be pink and as pretty as possible."

I mean look at her I'd say I succeeded:

She is the assistant to Cal (OC belonging to @pocketoon) and together they run the Calla Lilly Wedding Company, here for all your wedding needs! In addition to being colleagues, the two are also good friends and have a great amount of trust and respect for each other.

Thalliah is extremely up-beat, outgoing and is incredibly good with people. She is usually the point of contact for clients while Cal handles the itineraries, organization, and budgeting. She has a way with people and is good at making people happy without being a pushover. She has a keen sense for knowing when to give a little, and when to put her foot down and this diplomatic attitude has come in clutch many a time in their line of work.

After the whole Mordremoth incident their business (being entirely Sylvari owned and operated) took a huge hit and it definitely had an impact on Thalliah's outlook. She hadn't expected people to react as strongly and for as long as they did. Their business suffered and is still recovering, but things at present are definitely on an up-swing. More than anything Thalliah loves to see people happy. And what's happier than helping to join people together in the name of love?

Thalliah is an amateur seamstress and has a passion for flower arrangement. In what little free time she has she is often pursuing crafts and her hobbies. She loves fashion and often tries new looks, though her palettes rarely change. She delights in new experiences and will leap at the chance to try new foods, experience new climates and meet new people.

Thalliah, while significantly better at knowing when to take breaks and rest than Cal, still struggles with feeling aimless or useless when she is not actively doing something.

I think Thalliah sometimes struggles with self-worth. Not in a deep and profound "I'm a tiny and insignificant crumb in the universe" kind of way, but in a "I'm not useful If I can't make people happy." Kind of way. It's not something that bothers her often, but is one of those things that can flare up from time to time and lead her to push herself harder than she sometimes should.

🖊TORI

One of my newest babes. Tori is the result of myself and my dear friend @baptizedbywitches getting back into GW Factions after a long time away.

Tori is a Necromancer from a long line of necromancers. He and his twin sister (Who belongs to @baptizedbywitches ) grew up in a very traditional Canthan household. Their family makes regular offerings and prayers to Grenth and they pass their arts down through many generations.

Tori and his sister in particular are especially gifted and are thought to have been blessed by Grenth at birth, given the complicated circumstances and tribulations during their mother's pregnancy.

While necromancy is still an art that is misunderstood by many, it was occasionally a point of contention in school when the two were younger, their whole family being seen as a bit eccentric, mysterious, and unsettling. One such contentious encounter with a classmate led to blows and Tori ended up coming home with a bruised eye dragging a kid with a similarly bruised face behind him. Tori and Zaq were nearly inseparable ever since. (Zaq belongs to @baptizedbywitches as well <3 )

Designing Tori was fun because GW1 necros are so scrugnly. Their posture is horrible. Their armor is insane. I really wanted to lean hard into the undead and tired vibe gw1 necros exude at all times. A real "Put him in a pringles can and shake him" Kind of character.

Since making regular offerings to Grenth is a very regular thing in their family, Tori often uses it as an excuse for "giving up" troublesome things like "Good Posture" and "His ability to give a shit" and "His tits"

[literaticat]

Is it a bad sign if everybody is saying no to blurbs for a debut author? How do established authors decide if they’re going to do blurbs? Do their publishers or agents ask them as a favor for an author they also work with? Thank you!!

The short answer:

I wouldn't freak out if nobody wants to blurb your debut book. Authors are super burnt out, it's not a reflection of YOU whatsoever. Personally, I would by all means ASK, but then FORGET IT and worry no more, if they come they come.

And honestly I don't know how effective blurbs are compared to things like, an awesome jacket, a killer premise, etc, in the grand scheme of things. As effective (possibly MORE effective, tbh) would be to lean on your good writer friends a bit to boost your book on socials when its out!

The long answer:

Honestly, the entire blurb thing is SO JACKED, I wish we could collectively just STOP. But anyway. Let me start by saying how the process often goes:

NOT ALL BOOKS NEED BLURBS first of all. For younger books, we don't even ask. If it is a MG or YA (or, I guess, adult) book where we feel like a blurb might really help, then we (author/agent/editor) brainstorm people who would be appropriate. Authors of comp titles, big names in the genre, etc. (These people are usually very well published or somehow "experts" or influencers in the genre -- it's kind of pointless to get a blurb from somebody that nobody has ever heard of!)

So, we make a list, then mark up the list. If I happen to know the author or their agent, or if the editor does, etc, we'll make a note of it. The one of us who has the closest relationship with that author, or their agent or editor, will usually be the one to ask. (As an agent - even if I know the author personally, I run the ask through their agent, as I would want them to do for my clients).

That means that yes, OFTEN we ask clients, other agency clients, other people who publish with that publisher, etc. -- though we are also mindful to not pepper the same people with asks over and over, and to always make it VERY clear that NO IS AN APPROPRIATE ANSWER. Like it's a favor we are asking - they aren't required to say yes to it. And I try to frame it as, look, we think that you might enjoy this book and we'd love to share it with you. If you HAPPEN to love it and have time to write a blurb, or want to boost it on social media, or tell a friend -- hey, that would be fantastic, but zero pressure.

Because on that other side: Sought-after authors are SO FREAKING BUSY and burnt out, it's RIDIC. I know that ALL my authors would love to boost debut authors and books by their friends and books on topics they are passionate about, etc -- but there are TOO MANY! They are simply stretched too thin! For some authors, I might field blurb requests multiple times a week -- well, if they said yes to all those books, they'd die of book poisoning AND they'd never get their own writing done, which HAS to be their priority.

Those authors need to have blurb policies in place. Maybe it's a blanket "no blurbs" -- maybe it's "I will only potentially blurb XYZ kind of books" -- maybe it's "I will only blurb one book per season" -- whatever it is, I'd prefer that blurb requests run through me, so that my author doesn't have to be the jerk. I do show my author every request, but I am the one who replies. And even if the author DOES want to see the book - I make it very clear to the person asking that the author blurbs very few books, and is super busy with their own deadlines (so if they CAN'T get to it or don't want to blurb after they've read it, well, the asker can't be too disappointed -- and if they DO blurb, it's a nice surprise).

Some authors are too busy to blurb but want to be supportive, in which case I might say, "They won't be able to get you a blurb in time because of their own deadlines, but they will be delighted to boost the book on social media upon its release" or some such. (That is worth as much as, or more than, a blurb, IMO.)

[holisticsoulhealer]

Forgiveness - A Spiritual Story

I know I’ve redirected energy from the word and meaning of forgiveness, towards instead, the word and meaning of understanding. I live by that more than living in a state of needing to forgive those who had hurt my feelings, troubled me, caused me reason for pause. Now I love to stand in the emotions, inviting them to carry me forward into greater awareness and more understanding.

Mostly, I am in a constant place of creating more grace, by forgiving me for that which I wasn’t aware enough to not do, know or change at the time. I really do feel this is where forgiveness deserves its rightful spot in our World. There is an innocence that lives here, with a sweetness to always being willing to learn, grow and generate more wisdom. Wisdom and kindness are the two elements of humanity that I wish to cultivate for the rest of life and for time beyond this realm, to the point of eternity (if there is a point of that).

I have personally closed more doors behind me, with family, friends, neighbors and people I’ve known than most individuals I’ve had the extreme good fortune to meet, here on earth. At first I had so much work to do, to forgive myself for choosing me and the peace and harmony I could create inside, rather than pursuing relationships with those that don’t vibrate at the same levels. I stopped trying to make things work, when they didn’t, and stopped explaining to others why my story read differently than many of theirs.

I chose deliberately to only have close relationships in authentic and beautiful ways. It means I don’t need many people around me, I don’t need the “Hallmark holidays” with large tables filled with great people. I’m fine if that shows up and perfectly happy to share time with one or two very important people, who get me, accept me in all my many shades of human, and love me regardless. I mostly found that my awesome partner, Jeff, is more than enough for me, without anyone else.

Simple aspects of life delight me these days, and I forgive me completely and absolutely for not being willing to allow superficial connections, conversations or time shared with those who aren’t on the same page as me.

I mean this.

I forgive me for choosing me, and I now celebrate that I am only choosing that which flows through me, in my field of energy with ease and sincerity.

As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven't already done so! We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits! This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings,

Ruth

Get personal with your Angels!! Connect with me and see what they have to say!!

BOOK NOW!

[journalgirl]

The Joy of Running Out

Let’s pick up like old friends…

I’m not sure these days how many people read blogs, so I’ll write for myself and let you read. 😉

My art and materials have changed since we last spoke. I’ve shifted to coloring my own drawings, and messy collage work in my art journals. The imagery and details have deeper meaning — I referenced one in my last therapy appointment to the delight of my therapist.

When I started creating art, it was a struggle to translate my emotions from words — which was my primary way of expressing myself — to images. When you pick up art later in life, after college, there’s a learning curve. Composition. Color. Line. Medium. Substrate. I feel my early days was me throwing whatever made me smile at the page and seeing what stuck. Then manipulated to try and tell a narrative.

I rarely use paint, unless it’s in the form of a marker. I collage with a glue stick. Whatever I use most is within reach of my giant chair in the living room, where I do 80% of my art. And for a girl who rejected many coloring books because the tiny details made my hands ache…it appears that doesn’t apply when I am the one doing the drawing!

What’s different is me.

While we all long for the inspiration that propels us to create every day, I often struggled doing so. I was ill and exhausted and wished I could do more, create and experiment, like my friends. I did my best, said, “Good enough,” a lot.

I’m living in a new state — my third! — in my own comfortable apartment filled to the rafters with art supplies. I encourage you to find a closet or cabinet that holds anything else (ok the kitchen is just the bulbs for my studio lights, but it’s the safest space). You won’t find one. There’s less stress and more self-care. I work a wonderful day job I love, but also continue to struggle with mental and physical health issues.

I say this because, about a year ago, something amazing happened: I started working at least 2 hours a day on art. It started with coloring the work of other artists, then drawing florals, collage, and now I live in the world of mandalas and the mix of supplies that continue to inspire me.

(I’m actually taking a break from my current one; I’m in hour 7.)

As you can figure by the tumbleweeds gathered in the corners of this blog, I didn’t share much on social media. I don’t spend nearly as much time on my phone, and when I post, I’m in the frame of mind that I’m sharing with my friends. There are rarely hashtags, the posts are inconsistant, and doesn’t see much engagement past my Facebook friends. It wasn’t very important, running to share something the moment I put pencil to paper; I fell into this pitfall a few times in my life, and it always ruined and disrupted my inspiration.

Now? Now I make stuff, and if people like it, awesome! I actually taught my first class in 10 years to a small group of friends and delighted more in the kind words from friends who shared my post. Because my students were friends, I didn’t feel pressure to have everything set up perfectly. I no longer have a DSLR to film with, and my laptop is a modified MacBook Pro from 2009. I loved teaching live, as I could get feedback from my students, as well as answer their questions, in real time.

(I’m working on a ‘sequel’ right now, as I ran out of time to share everything!)

The joy? Using much loved supplies to the point they need replacing because of how much you use them. Being able to info dump at friends all I’ve learned from wearing out even the expensive stuff.

Sometimes, you need to run out of what was so there’s room for what can come. But the only way you get there is to just run free with radical acceptance, use the pretty things, and allow something you never expected to take root and grow.

I’ll see you next week, friends.

💜 Kira

(Yes, I am changing my legal name!)