#a more niche offering certainly

[hal-1500]

[snaillock]

would you do satosugu discovering their "friend" (both of them have a fatass crush on m!reader) is a teen dad, and just all of them chaotically taking care of a baby. (like those collage students raising a baby tiktoks?)

ok so technically i only write for blue lock buttttttttttt… i am more than willing to make an exception for this. this is also my favorite niche of satosugu fics so im super honored someone requested it from me

tags: male reader has a foster daughter bc hell yeah girl dads, unnamed child bc that's too much for me, reader is a sorcerer, found family but in a janked up kinda way, whipped satosugu, pre-hidden inventory so everyone is in high school in this this a long one yall

part two coming soon!

★ when assigned an extremely harsh mission, you find an orphaned child barely a year old within all the rumble. you soon found out her family was recently killed in the destruction. unsure of what would happen to her after this, you decided to take her as your own.

★ scared of any judgment, you didn’t tell anyone about her so only a few higher-ups were aware. luckily you were allowed to live off campus so you two could have more space and privacy.

★ however the physical effects of raising a kid all on your own at such a young age were certainly showing. you came to school visibly worn down, often falling asleep in the middle of class and taking more absences than usual.

★ the first people to notice, of course, were gojo and geto. as nosy as they were, they tried not to push it, knowing you had just come back from a really taxing mission. though they did get more and more suspicious whenever you didn’t let them visit your new place.

★ however one day, they did spot you out in public wearing a baby carrier with, of course, a baby they’d never seen before resting right inside. they immediately came up to you and bombarded you with multiple questions before you got them to chill out and explained everything.

★ wanting you to take some time off (and win you over), they offer to take care of her regularly. who were you to refuse? after all, it is free babysitting and you were already using up so much money hiring actual babysitters.

★ during their first babysitting job, you thanked them profusely before going back into your room and instantly falling asleep the moment your body hit your bed, taking a very well-deserved nap.

★ you see, gojo was already pretty hesitant about you having a kid around. this was before he took in megumi so he found basically any child gross and annoying. (though he’s somehow even more attracted to you now that you’re a dad.)

★ coughs dilf lover gojo i mean what?

★ so when gojo picked up your baby for the first time, she immediately cried when they made eye contact and he got so so personally offended that he started rethinking this whole babysitting thing.

★ the first thirty minutes or so of taking care of your kid went pretty okay. that was until she started crying again and neither of them knew why.

★ you see, these idiots have no idea how to care for a child.

★ they frantically tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong without needing to wake you. they checked if she was hurt in any way, she definitely wasn’t hungry since they already fed her, nor did she need to be changed. gojo even called shoko to see if she could do anything.

★ when they eventually saw her crawling towards your room and sobbing right outside your door, hesitantly let her in to see her climb onto your bed and lay down with you, realizing she just missed you the whole time. that entire experience made them so exhausted that they almost climbed into bed with you. but when they saw the gratitude on your face after you woke up, it made it all worth it.

★ luckily the next few times they watched over her, babysitting got more and more easy as she grew used to them.

★ they start coming over so often to look after her that your place basically becomes their second home.

★ geto is in charge of doing her hair since the last time gojo attempted it, it was just a big mess of hair ties and ribbons. geto’s definitely not complaining since he loves to get her ready. in fact, geto does a lot of the responsible stuff when taking care of her since gojo, hmm what’s a nice way to put it, lacks a lot of the necessary skills.

★ oh yeah, remember what i said about gojo hating younger children? yeah, that completely changes as he spends more time with your daughter. he’s almost always playing with her or showing up with a brand new toy or stuffed animal just for her. he ends up loving her so so much and wants to be her cool fun dad.

★ unfortunately both of them are way too nice when it comes to disciplining her. they let her get away with so much. late bedtimes, too much tv, grabbing any treats she wants off the grocery store shelves. how can they not spoil such an adorable little girl like her!?

★ what’s also unfortunate is how they try to drag you into it.

“come on, y/n. let loose a little. cake for dinner does sound pretty appetizing right now.”

“come on. just let her watch ten more minutes before bed.” gojo lazed on the couch with her on his lap. “besides this cartoon is starting to get good.”

“come onnn… just let her buy it.” geto held up a sparkly pink dress you already told him she doesn’t need with his own sparkles in his eyes. “she’ll look so cute in it. i promise i’ll pay you back.”

★ their hearts explode whenever you’re affectionate with her. they love the way you gently rock her in your arms while humming a sweet lullaby, slowly lulling her to sleep. the way they see you kiss her forehead after placing her into the crib before quickly turning around and acting like they weren’t staring the whole time. they fall head over heels for you for probably the twentieth time by now since they met you but those times were definitely the hardest.

★ they’ve been in her life for a good while so when she begins talking more frequently, she starts calling them her papas as she does with you. gojo aka former “ugh kids are so gross and icky” feels his heart combusting whenever she calls him that and he owns that title proudly. meanwhile geto feels so endeared and honored that she sees him that way.

★ “we’re not the stepdads. we’re the dads that stepped up!” looking asses.💀

★ the secret of you having a kid doesn’t last for long since these two can’t keep quiet about it. they’re just way too happy and want to show her off. especially gojo who scrolls through 100s of photos of her while gushing about her to basically anyone who’ll listen. shoko and nanami are the most common targets whenever this happens.

★ he even ends up showing photos of you and your daughter napping together (that you had no idea he took), making you snatch his phone away in embarrassment.

★ whenever you guys go out on family dates to go to the beach or picnicking, geto always takes the time to dress her up with pretty hairstyles and cute little outfits. he absolutely loves doting on her.

★ they love her with all their hearts and would do absolutely anything for her. she’s so lucky to have three weird dads take care of her and raise her. a very odd and… unconventional family dynamic but an amazing one nonetheless. this family only grows bigger and bigger once gojo takes in megumi and geto practically adopts mimiko and nanako.

please read my rules before following

taglist: @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060 @kiiyoooo

ayo we rocking with the star bullet points?? 🗣️⁉️

[ruru-me]

hiii! idk if this has been asked yet, but can i get more lore on the kids’ mothers & their relationships with the dads (strade, lawrence, rire, ren!) are the moms still alive in some cases or are they dead? i’m really interested to know! :3

Hey anon!

The answer to this may be a bit long, so I'll put it into topics and organize them from the best to the worst parental relationships :D

(also some images I found on Pinterest to illustrate cuz I find it funny)

REN

The best among them fr

Bro is living the dream with his children

Manipulative and overprotective at times but it's because he really fears that his babies will go through something like what he went through with Strade.

The mother is still alive (happily married, thank you).

She works as a programmer and ren is a relatively big streamer in the specific internet niche he works in (I leave it to your imagination what that might be)

All his children appreciate their father and love him

The cool dad all kids want to have (me too pls)

Strong emotional bond, he always knows if something is wrong with any of them

10/10

Lawrence

He's only before strade because his anxiety wouldn't let him forget to buy baby formula for violet

Honestly not the best father figure, but violet really likes their dad

Emotional dependence is the basis of it.

It's not healthy but neither of them seems to care

Violet's mother unfortunately died after an infection caused by Lawrence and his idea to remove her limbs.

Unpredictable some days, can be a caring father or an anxious mess (nothing in between)

CPA has certainly gone after violet

6/10

STRADE

More like a cool uncle who offers alcohol to minors than a father

no paternal sense, plus places no limits on the things Hertha does

Regarding their relationship, Hertha doesn't have a good impression of her father and Strade couldn't care less.

Strade shows "affection" by pampering her with everything she asks for (for him it's much more practical than being emotionally available)

One of the reasons Hertha actively tries to F strade when adult and shows no remorse about her actions

Her mother unfortunately took her own life when she was still young

She was probably the only person Hertha could empathize with and care about (genuinely)

5/10

RIRE

Self-explanatory image

The worst of them

He doesn't even think about trying to be a good father figure

Rire is the father who goes to buy cigarettes and disappears and magically appears again when you're an adult to ask you for a favor

Probably his only contribution was the names Severus and Linden

Their mother is alive and lives with them in a house (almost all Rire's proof)

The twins fear their father like the plague. They have no sentimental attachment to him and prefer to stay that way.

Not to be unfair, rire even showed up a few times to check on them (for some unknown reason) but the twins ran off as if they'd seen a monster.

Theoretically they did

-100/10

Ok that's all, hope I've answered ur question.

Feel free to send another (if u feel like)

*dies*

[ostrichchariot]

You know really, when you think about, The Fix has been a contradiction from the start.

He's there to eliminate distractions, which are defined as what he is told is a distraction. Nothing more, nothing less. But he clearly wants to nurture old, childhood interests - wants to keep them around even though no-one else seems to want that. It certainly doesn't seem like he's been told to do that.

He's there to keep the mind on task, focused, but the facts he offers up aren't anything that would ever actually be necessary to know other than in incredibly niche scenarios - they're interesting, and cool, and fun to know just for the sake of knowing. Conrad pretty much literally describes one of those facts as being a distraction from how he was feeling, and says it made him focus on something else for a second.

And he holds on to these scraps, whether those are the kids in the Home for Wayward Interests, or the facts that you really only know for the pleasure of knowing them and sharing them, rather than because you've been told you have to know them. Holding on to them, even if he doesn't realize it, because he doesn't want them to be forgotten. Because somehow, in some way, they are important.

So yeah. Of course he doesn't want to hurt Conrad. Why would he? They're the same.

[mouwrites]

HEY POOKS! I'm back with a cool idea😋

Basically hcs where the ninja have to train the reader(who is younger then them) because Wu told them too. At first neither of them want to train together and make the training sessions difficult for each other but over time the ninja see themselves in the reader which was apart of wu's plan. So overtime they develop a sibling bond and everyone rubs in their faces on how similar they are even when they used to hate each other.

SILLY REQUEST BUT HOPEFULLY THAT MADE SENSE! ANYWAYS BYE POOKIE REMEMBER TO TAKE RESTS AND DRINK WATER🤍💛🤍👻👻

YIPPEE you’re back with another banger!!!

Me when you call me pookie,, teehee

Ninjago - Unintentionally Becoming the Ninjas’ Little Sibling

Zane

Zane doesn’t always hate kids, but he certainly didn’t like you at first

He saw you as disorganized and disruptive

Your fighting style was no better

He begrudgingly took it upon himself to help shape you up, not just as a fighter, but as a person

Your attitude towards him was not helping his exasperation at all

But he’s perseverant

Eventually you start to come around to his lessons, finding that being organized is pretty convenient at times

You secretly started to organize your room

You absolutely did NOT want him to know that though

One time he walked in on you sorting your comics by franchise, and you legitimately flipped your table

“Y/n! Why did you do that? Look at the mess you’ve made.”

“I-I don’t care about messes!! No… I… I like my room like this…”

He insisted on helping you clean up, at which point he noticed that the comics, which had somehow maintained their separate groups after falling to the floor, were sorted

He doesn’t point it out, but he feels some pride in you

He helps you reorganize the comics wordlessly

Sitting there, just sorting through comics in silence, the tension between you two melted

Once Zane realized that his teachings were getting through to you, he stops being so harsh

He offers to help you organize things, and he’s thrilled if you return the favor

From there he’ll start teaching you to cook and do chores too

That’s when the others start to notice

They call you the Rumba because you’re a little housekeeping helper

Zane finds the name especially comedic because a Rumba is also a robot

Though their teasing makes you all huffy, you wouldn’t go back to your old ways just to stop it

You like the time you spend with Zane too much

Besides doing chores, you guys also like to watch documentaries together

You’re both one of those “did you know (weirdly specific fact)” people

You like to quiz each other on your niche hobbies and interests

You’re both definitely one of those weirdly knowledgeable people that seem to have a fun fact for every scenario

You’ll build off of each others’ fun facts as well

“Did you guys know that monarch butterflies are actually incredibly poisonous?”

“That’s correct. That’s why the viceroy butterfly has evolved to look similar; predators will assume they’re monarchs, and thus elect not to eat them.”

This becomes more annoying for the others as time goes on

Kai

He was determined to “tame” you from the very beginning

When Wu tasked him with training you, he convinced himself that you were a real piece of work

This led to a less than ideal attitude towards you, regardless of whether you were actually a problem child or not

He assumes this air of authority, using his age and experience as excuses to boss you around

That’s where your problem with him arises

And when you start to show how much you hate him, he only feels more justified in his treatment

It’s only when he starts to notice your hot-headedness that he reflects on his treatment of you

He sees himself in you, which makes him question if that’s how he would want to be treated

No, he decides, this is not how he would want to be treated were he in your position

So he approaches you one day when you’re all alone, watching the sunset

“Here to boss me around some more?”

“No, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t be treating you like this. It’s just not helpful, to you or me. I’m going to try to be better.”

His genuineness strikes you

You accept the apology warily

Frankly you’re worried about how he plans to change his treatment of you

You’re pleasantly surprised to find that he’s actually a pretty cool guy once he drops the dictator act

He shows you fun fighting moves, even lets you win every now and again when you spar

And he invites you to do more leisurely activities too

It’s a welcome change from the endless stream of chores he used to give you

He still gives you work to do though (mostly things he doesn’t want to do himself)

Your lingering hot-headedness shines through when this happens

“Why do I have to do it? It’s not fair!”

“Because I said so. Now shoo.”

The others start to tease that you’re just like him

Kai doesn’t mind this at all

If anything, he’s proud to have a mini version of himself

He loves doing stuff with you; your determination makes you a great buddy to be all competitive with

You guys LOVE to compete; video games, chores, training, anything

Cole

You get on Cole’s bad side by being stubborn

Cole’s a pretty chill guy who likes to go with the flow, so if you make him put his foot down, he’s not going to like you

So, when you demonstrate the classic huffiness of a child, he gets pretty impatient

He won’t push hard when it comes to enforcing his authority

He’ll just leave

This makes you feel like he doesn’t care about you, which only exacerbates your bad attitude

It becomes a vicious cycle of hate on both ends

It’s only when you realize that you are being a little bratty that you decide to try and tone it down

This takes him by surprise

“…99, and 100! Okay, all done with warm-ups. What next?”

“Wh— no complaining? Huh. Um, okay, let’s practice your high kicks.”

“You’re the boss.”

He starts to actually enjoy training with you once you’re not arguing all the time

This shows you that he really does care about your progress

The negative cycle therefore becomes a positive one

Cole loves to praise you when you’ve done a good job

He’s very proud of you

When you get used to going with what he says, you’re adopting some of his laid-back attitude

That’s where the others perceive similarities

But they don’t end there

Cole likes to invite you to hang out with him after training, and through your hang out sessions you start to pick up on some of his mannerisms

Like eating the cream out of the Oreo before you eat the cookie

Or leaving the TV on while you take a nap

The teasing gets amped up when the others notice these mirrored habits

Neither of you really care, though

You just like that you have a good relationship now :)

Jay

Jay thought you were a total brat

All it took was one bad experience; he’s volatile like that

He sees you in a bad light once and your reputation is ruined

A bad comment, telling him no once, a dirty look, anything small like that

He’s super cold to you when training, dishing out orders like Gordon Ramsay and glaring at you just as intensely

You feel like you can never satisfy him

As the work he gives you piles up daily, you can’t help but shoot a glare back

Your relationship is fixed in the same way it was ruined: with a single moment

You were watching TV, appreciating a rare break

Your favorite character was on screen, and you couldn’t help but smile and sigh

“Man, I wish you were my friend. Then everything would be okay. You’re just so cool.”

“Isn’t he?!”

You whirled around with wild eyes

Jay was diving to sit down next to you, his eyes sparkling at the screen

He was overjoyed to find out that you liked the show; it was super niche, and none of the other ninjas had even heard of it

You listened as he gushed about the show, a little disturbed by his complete flip of attitude

Eventually you couldn’t help joining his fangirling

You spent literal hours talking

Kai dropped in at one point to make a comment about you two being secret siblings, which you both shrugged off

After that day you were pretty much inseparable

You both proved to be total chatterboxes in each others’ presence

The others find this amusing in the sense that Jay has finally found an equal, but annoying in the sense that you guys literally never stop talking

The only time you shut your mouths is when you’re watching your shows

Even when training, you keep feedback flowing between you

“Nice kick! Try lower next time, though.”

“Thanks! Oof, that hurt…”

Nya

When you start to get frustrated/demotivated with your training, Nya does the same

She finds you “impossible to work with”

So she’ll dump you with someone else, making you feel like garbage to be tossed around

Wu has to remind her that she was the same when she started her ninja training

She’s in denial at first, but when she sees you hunched over in anger, she remembers being in that exact position

With newfound empathy she goes over to you

“Hey… you know, I wasn’t much better when I started my training.”

“I doubt it. I’m just the worst. I’ll never be a ninja.”

She was shocked to find your attitude so similar to her old attitude

From there she had a better idea of how to help you

You were surprised to find her so understanding

You came around to her as you realized she really did know how you were feeling

You put your trust in her, becoming a little more laid-back and letting her guide you

In other words, you adopted her “go with the flow” mindset

Wu was the first to point out your similarities

You both just looked at each other and smiled

You knew you were similar; that’s why you got along

Nya decides to teach you things beyond ninja training, like mechanics

You become quite skilled under her guidance

The others notice that she’s essentially created a smaller version of herself

She protests that you’re your own person, but she can’t deny that you are basically just mini-Nya

Lloyd

Lloyd gets annoyed if you don’t make progress quickly

His training was very fast and intense, so if you can’t keep up, he gets impatient

He’ll just keep pushing harder and harder

He doesn’t realize that not everyone has a prophecy to live up to, and thus probably isn’t motivated in the same way

He can’t find a way to appeal to your motivation, which leaves you feeling like training is just a waste of time

Lloyd finds this attitude incredibly disrespectful

You guys make so many passive aggressive remarks

“Are you already tired?”

“Well, you did kinda just make me, the kid, do 100 push ups.”

It’s when you finally snap that he realizes he’s been doing it wrong

You explode during training one day, storming off while grumbling furiously

Lloyd just stands there, stunned

At that point he finally recognizes that you’re not just a little version of himself, and he needs to get to know you to understand how to help you

So he appeals to you first, remembering the things he used to like as a kid

He gets you into Starfarer, and you guys bond over your love of it

He learns bits and pieces about you when you hang out, and eventually devises a plan to get you back on track

You take to training much better the second time around, making impressive progress

You aren’t cocky about it though; you’ve picked up Lloyd’s humble attitude

The others reminisce about when Lloyd was in your position and they were the trainers

“They’re kinda like you, Lloyd.”

“You think? I guess they are. I remember when you’d train me like this, Kai.”

He takes pride in knowing he’s facilitated your growth

He’s almost as proud to say he’s created another Starfarer fan

You guys still love to gush over the comics together :)

Sorry this was kind of a long read ^^” but thanks for reading! And thank you lovely anon for your request!!

(divider by saradika)

[materlux]

Werifesteria.

Werifesteria: (v.) To wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.

The esteemed doctor Veritas Ratio, finds himself intrigued by the old technology of a post-post-apocalyptic planet. He finds more than he beckoned for, but on the bright side, he has a new personal student.

CW: Monster!Reader, is Ratio's attitude a warning? Fluff-ish?

Honkai Star Rail | Main Masterlist

This planet had experienced a catastrophic incident many amber eras ago, this has left its remaining life forms cut off from the rest of the cosmos. The people of this planet are, what the Genius Society would label, primitive. They do not understand the giant metal structures left behind by their forefathers, they have no knowledge of the aeons, or of the place they once occupied in the vast universe. To put it simply, it’s like someone pressed the ‘reset’ button on their civilization.

   So of course the Intelligentsia Guild sent a group of researchers there, if these people were primitive it opened up an opportunity for the whole of the IPC, but first they wanted their own proof.

   The information about the trip and the planet itself spread like wildfire, every researcher was talking about it, and it wasn’t long before the students caught on to the chatter. Dr. Ratio was getting increasingly annoyed having to listen to the same boring discourse surrounding the trip, now not even his own classroom was a quiet place.

   It would, however, be a lie to say the famed doctor wasn’t at least a little intrigued, but this kind of trip lent itself more to the social and psychological sciences, not the mathematical ones. So colour him surprised when an invitation to join the group lands on his desk, he wasn’t planning on going, but the invite only made him all the more curious.

   So here he was, along with 9 others, touching down on the planet’s surface just outside a large town. They were prepared for the locals to be hostile, but they were quite welcoming, offering shelter and food.

   The other researchers quickly found their niche of work useful, and started noting down the locals' behaviours. But Ratio was still unsure of his purpose on this trip, but having read up on the planet’s previous inhabitants came with an idea: He was here to learn and understand the ancient art of floating cities, ones that once filled the sky of this planet.

   Using the advanced technology at his fingertips, he searches for some sort of electric output, at first he only picks up the ship and nothing else. As days go by he expands the search area, closely analysing any signal no matter how weak. On the last day of the first week, he picks up a faint signal, not as strong as the ships, but not as weak as the other flukes.

   The signal pings on his small screen, it’s coming from within the depths of a dense forest. The locals warn him of ghosts and monsters, he simply ignores them, primitive species always believe in superstitions, but the truth is that these occurrences can be explained using science.

   Small ghosts gather along the path he follows, some begin to trail after him, he ignores them, they’re clearly harmless. But you certainly aren’t, sitting far above him in the canopy surrounded by ghosts, you are entirely absorbed in the vibrant colour of his hair, it reminds you of something, a flower.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

   The water is cold against your skin and soaks into your fur, the water ripples gently as you move about, plucking purple flowers from the water. You gather a couple of the otherwise large flowers, you hope the man with vibrant hair will accept this offering of friendship, it’s what the townspeople do.

   The figure that emerges from the bushes halts its movements, it takes a moment for Ratio to comprehend the scene before him, but he swiftly turns his head away from your naked back. You look up at the noise, tilt your head curiously, water swishes around your legs as you manoeuvre up the bank.

   Dr. Ratio refuses to look at you, human or not it is ungentlemanly to ogle at you, clearly you were not expecting company at this time, whoever you were. Something wet drips onto his clothing, and an extra weight is added to his head. You gently adjust the flowers in his hair, leaning back to look him over.

   As much as the doctor intended to be a gentleman, he can’t help but look at you, completely perplexed, what even are you? He pulls the flowers from his hair, you wait with baited breath for his response. He looks them over and grimaces at the water coating his hands and damping his hair, he holds flowers back out to you. You accept them, this means he accepts your friendship, right?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Ratio came out here in search of old machinery in the hopes of furthering his knowledge of physics, and to maybe one day mimic the genius of the forefather to this planet. He was not expecting to have company on this search, the small ghosts were easy to ignore; their small, quiet and low to the ground. You, on the other hand, were taller, noisier, and somehow always ended up right in front of his face.

   His patience, which many would say he already lacked, was running thin. You weren’t getting in per say, but you were far too curious for your own good, this led the doctor to conclude: You must be the apex predator around here.

   For a moment the doctor sat down to rest on a log, you however took this chance to poke at him, not metaphorically, but literally. Ratio prides himself in his intelligence and ability to learn with ease, but you perplexed him, and he hated it. Your hands always seemed to find their to his hair, gentle as you were, you pulled and moved the strands around.

   The doctor could not for the life of him, figure out you found so fascinating about his hair, you had your own. Upon closer inspection your hair appeared to be matted in some places, and full of leaves and what not.

   Any chance you got, you added flowers to his hair, you were starting to run out of flowers to offer him. You had hoped he would have liked at least one of them, but he pulled every single one back out. The small ghosts offer little consolation, they find and hand you any small buds you haven’t tried yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Giant metal structures, ruins overgrown, rise out of the ground before him. The signal is close by now, it must be hidden within. Ratio walks a round outside the structure, considering ways in and the best course of action to find the object emitting the small pulse.

   You observe him from above on the structure, you don’t understand the words he mutters to himself, in your defence he doesn’t exactly use simple words. He walks into the structure, disappearing into the darkness, only a few minutes later does re-emerge. He mutters more words to himself as he looks over his screen and back up to the structure.

   Later in the evening you manoeuvre your way into one of the upper levels of the structure, within the maze of corridors and fallen metal, you have your nest. In your nest lies an object, it’s mechanical in nature and emits a faint glow, you keep it because it’s pretty.

   You look at the object in the early morning light, perhaps the vibrant haired man doesn’t like flowers, but other gifts. You have seen the townspeople give each other objects instead of flowers, this appears to yield the same result, companionship.

   Dr. Ratio looks at the screen as the signal begins to move, it should not under any circumstance do that, it’s a piece of ancient machinery. A loud thud is followed by you figure less than gracefully making it down to the ground, he looks you over, you smile like the locals do, but your smile is all sharp teeth. You hold out the glowing object, and Ratio nearly drops his jaw on the ground, he takes it carefully, inspecting it, he doesn’t offer it back.

   You tilt your head and with your limited vocabulary, you ask: “Like?” He nods offhandedly, before his head snaps up to look at you. You gently clap your hands in glee, he likes it, you made a friend.

   “You can talk?” He asks, you tilt your head again, you look akin to a lost dog. You nod hesitantly, some words elude you, but based on what you remember the right answer is yes.

   “And your name is?” He looks at you expectantly, you however understand some of those words, you feel like a big question mark.

   “Name?” You ask back, a name, you don’t have a name you think, you don’t remember having one.

   “Yes a name,” Ratio continues, “like my own.” You only continue to tilt your head.

   “My name is doctor Veritas Ratio.” You are stumped.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

   You follow your new companion around the forest, Ratio attempts to teach you his name, you only call him ‘doctor’ so far, good enough he decides. By the edge of the forest you stop, the townspeople don’t like you, that’s why you stay in the forest it’s safer. But the doctor pays these primitive locals little mind, and continues onward to the ship, you don’t want to lose your new companion. So mustering up all your courage you follow him.

   The other researchers find you fascinating, you are quite overwhelmed by all the attention. Ratio gets special permission to leave the planet’s surface and instead board the larger ship orbiting the planet, you were not meant to join him, but it appears the great doctor has made an oversight.

   You curl yourself up by a window and observe the stars, the doctor leaves you to your devices, you seem unbothered by the fact you are floating in outer space. He notes down questions he has for you, or rather about you, he wonders if it would be possible to teach you the basics of mathematics. It would certainly be a challenge, but who better from the Intelligensia Guild to take on such a challenge, than the esteemed doctor Ratio.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #46 Lone Women by Victor LaValle

I was first introduced to LaValle with The Ballad of Black Tom, which is still for my money one of the best of last decade's crop of Lovecraft reimaginings/deconstructions/whatevers and has earned him a great deal of loyalty from me. Lone Women does not really live up to those heights, at least past the first act (or, better put, the thing it does isn’t what I was hoping it would), but the first act really is excellent and it does accomplish what it’s trying to with admirable skill.

The book follows Adelaide Henry, the child of homesteaders in one of the few areas of California where black people were allowed to homestead. She leaves behind a burning farmhouse with her parents corpses still inside, running away from the ruins of her life with a charmingly literal steamer trunk of her unresolved baggage that only she seems capable of lifting without help and which must never be opened or unlocked lest what’s inside get out.

The actual meat of the story is her settling into a new life in Montana, where a broadly worded law allows unaccompanied women to claim a homestead in their own right if they hold and work it for three years. With only an incredibly optimistic marketing brochure to guide her, she just about starves and freezes to death a few times over before beginning to make the connections she needs to stay alive (Montana in 1915 being so short on black people that no one really bothers to organize or make an identity around hating her on principle). From there, it’s a matter of enjoying the eerie atmosphere and waiting for the other shoe to drop (in this case supplied by a family of bandits) and see how quickly everything goes to shit from there.

This is a well-written book, but one where I struggle with whether to properly call it horror. The first act is, certainly – the portrayal of prairie life and the looming darkness in Adelaide’s past are both excellent, the sense of uncanniness and of building tension as you see her make friends and wait for something to inevitably go wrong are both absolutely excellent. It’s only in the third act, when the monster turns out to be a poor, abused child who only needs to be offered a hand, and the marginalized and outcast join together to build a happy new life for themselves outside the remit of the almanacs or history books, that it feels like a genre boundary was jumped along the way. I have a sort of principled opposition to conceptions of horror where the unstoppable preternatural monster is on the side of good and the townsfolk with their nooses and pitchforks are both evil and never had a chance to begin with.

The book’s afterward mentions that LaValle went back and forth on whether any of the heroes should die in the climax or whether there should be some sort of taint or tragedy to it, but decided that what was needed in today’s climate was an uplifting tale of the ‘lone women’ banding together and triumphing against society - I suppose I just have fundamental philosophical issues with that whole train of logic (or, at least, empirical issues with the idea that that niche is not already served).

It’s incredibly interesting to compare this to The Changeling, LaValle’s last book. Both are notionally horror stories centred around children that are ‘wrong’ and in some sense monstrous, and both are impossible to really understand thematically without the context of post-2016 American politics. Of course, in Changeling the child really has been stolen and replaced with a monster, and the whole thing is told from the father’s perspective (and quite sympathetically), whereas in Women the child was turned into a monster only by the abuse of her parents, and is eminently redeemable from the efforts (and told from the perspective of) her sister. Which is far more thematically agreeable to me, for obvious reasons, but imo does make for rather less compelling horror.

It’s interesting, as well, that Changeling is by far the more heavy-handed and explicit about its politics (to a degree that stood out even in the rather elevated environment of Trump-era genre fiction), but also felt far more personal to and a vessel for working out the preoccupations and insecurities of the author. This, meanwhile, felt like he wanted to do something with the fun rabbit hole of historical trivia he fell into and the actual story came out after – and so was very informed by a sense of what sort of story should be written in These Unprecedented Times.

The historical trivia is absolutely great, though. LaValle really captures a sense of actually living in a desolate frontier, and of the little bits and pieces of interaction and connection that made life livable in such a town. The afterword was at least half just lists of research materials, and he makes most of them sound genuinely interesting.

[yopossum]

Kindred Spirits

a Jack Daniels miniseries for Week 2 (Arts & Culture) of @secretelephanttattoo’s Secret Springs Challenge!

Main Masterlist - PART 2

Pairing: Professor Jack Daniels, PhD. X f!Reader

Rating: Part 1 - M

Summary: You’re on your cousin’s bachelorette trip and having a… time. Your hard partying days are years behind you, much to the chagrin of the rest of the girls; you need something slow, soft, meaningful to shake off the weight of the world. Fortunately, the Secret Springs Arts & Culture brochure has an event that sounds right up your alley - “History, Distilled: The Folklore of Alcohol,” a presentation and tasting with Dr. Jack Daniels, a distinguished professor of folk history, storyteller, author, and spirits expert. You expected an afternoon of boozy education. You certainly didn’t expect that a cocky cowboy caricature would teach you more about the world, and yourself, than you ever imagined.

Warnings: Part 1: alcohol and drinking, overindulgence/drunkenness, party girlies, bachelorette shenanigans, sneaky Mayor El, and not much else yet! Eventual romance and feelings and 🌶️

Shout-outs to @oliveksmoked (Coco’s Nuts) and @shchristine (La Belle Vie) whose earlier contributions wiggled their way into this fic 😘😘😘

“Girl come ON! We didn’t come all the way to Secret Springs to go to a lecture! Didn’t you get that boring shit out of your system in college like forever ago?!” Stephanie groaned and rolled her eyes as she tugged at her tiny neon pink bikini. Chantel nodded aggressively from her permanent spot at the suite’s vanity, mouth open in a tiny “o” as she applied a nineteenth layer of thick black waterproof mascara. Bride-to-be Brandy was busying herself in the bathroom, trying to pin a novelty veil into her messy bun to wear along with her sparkly “I’M GETTING MARRIED, BITCHES!” sash. You sighed and folded up the Arts & Culture Events pamphlet you’d snagged from the lobby, setting it on the nightstand and flopping back onto the bed.

You loved your cousin. You really, really did. You were thrilled she was getting married. You were honored she wanted to include you in her wedding, her bridal party, and, by extension, her bachelorette trip. The thing was, you were kind of… overwhelmed? Exhausted? Old? Over it?

Maybe fifteen years earlier you’d have been the first girl dancing at the poolside bar. Hell, you’d have been the first girl dancing on top of the poolside bar. You’d have been the first girl physically removed from the poolside bar, your tiny neon bikini strung haphazardly around you like a too-tan bottle-blonde trussed ham. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to let loose anymore. You sure as hell did, and had a million more reasons to need a vacation now than you did when you were in your early 20s. Your idea of letting loose now was just quieter. Involved air conditioning. Maybe indulging in some niche hobbies or interests because you never had a fucking minute of peace or mental breathing room anymore because capitalism is a cruel joke and growing up is a goddamn scam.

Whew. Yeah, you needed this vacation.

“How about you guys hit Coco’s Nuts on my dime and I’ll go do my boring old lady shit? I’ll open a tab for you on my way into town,” you offered.

“Bitch, oh my god!” shrieked Brandy, giddy, leaning out of the bathroom with a blinding smile. Stephanie and Chantel squealed in unison, beaming at you. Crest Whitestrips ought to sponsor this damn wedding.

“It’s the least I can do,” you giggled as the girls circled you in a group hug. “My delinquent days are far behind me now, but I’m happy to sponsor promising up-and-comers.”

“Meet for dinner, though?” Brandy asked, and you shook your head yes. “Mayor El said something a really nice restaurant here.”

“Ooh, La Belle Vie! I’m pulling up the website right now. Everything there looks DELICIOUS,” swooned Stephanie, eyes on her phone.

Chantel leaned over her shoulder and gaped. “Including the chef! Goddamn!” She fanned herself dramatically.

You helped the girls sunscreen up and snuck some Liquid IV powder packets into their bags, then sent them down to Coco while you finished getting yourself ready. You pulled on your favorite jeans, dark-washed and high-waisted and skinny thankyouverymuch, and tucked in your soft, faded Loretta Lynn tee. Slipping on some broken-in Chacos and an oversized pair of sunglasses, you snagged the discarded Arts & Culture pamphlet and tossed it in your tote bag before heading out the door.

———

“Remember water, watch your drinks, and if any guys creep you out, call me or tell Coco and we’ll put the fear of God into them, okay?” You repeated to the group. Coco grinned and nodded her affirmation from behind the bar. “Dieter promised me he’ll play your song whenever you’re ready, Brandy!”

“You’re the BEST!” Your cousin threw her arms around your neck in thanks. “Text me when you’re done with your… thingy?”

“‘History, Distilled: The Folklore of Alcohol,’ says the guide. ‘An afternoon of storytelling and spirit-tasting’ with a Dr. Daniels. And yes, I will!”

“You won’t regret it,” said a voice from behind you.

“Oh! Mayor El! I didn’t see you there, sorry. I’m really looking forward to it! Have you seen Dr. Daniels speak before?” You were more than a little excited to nerd out over some folk history and liquor legends.

The mayor smiled slyly. “Haven’t had the chance myself yet, with how busy we’ve been this season, but I’ve heard that Jack Daniels is quite knowledgeable.”

“Wait, Jack Daniels? Like the whiskey? Is that like a stage name or something?” Chantel was eavesdropping.

“No clue! We don’t require that kind of documentation here at Secret Springs, my dear. Ruins the magic, don’t you think?” Mayor El winked. You and Chantel exchanged looks. Coco winced. Better remember to double-check the lock on the in-room safe tonight, just to be safe.

“Got to be on my way, now. Busy, busy! You ladies have a great rest of your day,” the mayor concluded warmly, before turning to you directly. “And you,” she whispered, “enjoy your afternoon with Jack. I suspect he’s as smooth as his namesake.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the room, humming a tune to herself that sounded a lot like “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Hm.

Waving to the rest of your travel companions, you shouldered your tote bag and headed out the front doors, stepping out onto the sunny cobblestone street and heading towards the center of town.

—————————————————————————

PART 2

[veliseraptor]

March Reading Recap

Juliet: The Life and Afterlives of Shakespeare's First Tragic Heroine by Sophie Duncan. I actually really liked this one! It was an interesting look at several different lenses that have been used over time to look at Juliet (specifically Juliet, not the play), including the relationship between fascism and Juliet in Verona, Italy and the development of West Side Story (didn't know Juliet was Jewish in an early version). I enjoy sort of niche/specific books focusing on a very particular subject, and this book scratched that itch well.

The Brilliant Abyss: Exploring the Majestic Hidden Life of the Deep Ocean, and the Looming Threat That Imperils It by Helen Scales. I read this book too soon after The Underworld by Susan Casey which, while not necessarily a better book, covered a lot of the same terrain. The trouble with a keen interest in a niche topic is, I suppose, that the books on it can start to get repetitive sometimes. It was still good, though, and this one focused a bit less on the history of human exploration than Casey did and a bit more on the ecosystems themselves, which I did welcome.

Blood of the Chosen and Emperor of Ruin by Django Wexler. The second and third books in the series that started with Ashes of the Sun - both continued the trend of "I don't know that I'd call these particularly good works of literature but they were very enjoyable and propulsive." The second book was stronger than the third - I ended up feeling like the conclusion of the trilogy was weaker and a little rushed, but I still enjoyed the experience as a whole and would offer at least a tentative, general recommendation of the series for those looking for a fantasy series that's not particularly innovative or serious but is an exciting ride.

The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis. This book reminded me a little bit of Such Desperate Glory but wasn't quite as well done, I don't think. The back compared it to Mass Effect but I don't really see that as a reasonable comparison. Possibly one of my favorite things about it was the cover design, which fucks. I still liked it, though, and I'm going to read the sequel.

The Great White Bard: How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race by Farah Karim-Cooper. Sometimes when I read things I feel like a snot because I go "this is interesting information but the writing feels a little amateurish" and that was my situation with this book. It was good analysis and interesting to read, though sometimes the "and this is how this is modern-ly relevant! q-anon mention" felt a little bit...ehhh, unnecessary, but the writing itself was...yeah. It felt amateurish. Which might just be a result of the book itself being targeted at a particular audience that's less academically-minded than I am, that's certainly possible, but it did affect my enjoyment of the book.

Last Days by Adam Nevill. Mostly this was good spooky fun, though it lost me with the "the ultimate bad guy is an overweight bisexual actor with AIDS" (it's a little more complicated than that, but not enough). Too bad, because conceptually and in terms of imagery it could've been very good. Between this and my last Nevill, I might have to give future books a pass. My search for horror that isn't playing on bigoted tropes apparently continues, since I'm on a bit of a streak there with this and Ring.

China: A History by John Keay. I'd call this one a solid overview despite the choice to use "bureaux" for the plural. However, I'm taking a lot of it with a grain of salt since as far as I can tell he didn't use many or possibly any Chinese secondary sources, and relied primarily for quotations/analysis on English secondary sources. I would've liked to see more of a balance. Still, as far as background information and a general broad history goes, it feels like it was worth reading for me to get a little more background/grounding in history I don't have a lot of familiarity with. (Also, holy shit did Ken Liu crib hard on Liu Bang and Xiang Yu for The Grace of Kings and now I know that.)

Remnants of Filth: vol. 3 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. I continue to really enjoy this book and this volume might be my favorite yet - the flashbacks were satisfying to fill in some of the gaps in mysteries as yet unrevealed, and having Gu Mang fully "back" (more or less) is a fun development that is already having consequences changing the dynamic between him and Mo Xi in delightfully angsty ways. Of the cnovels I'm currently in the middle of this one is close to LHJC as far as my favorite.

Starter Villain by John Scalzi. This one is what I think people would call a "romp" which is all well and good and I probably should've known what I was getting into, but I think I am just not much of a "romp" reader. It was fun, I guess? But I don't know that I felt like it was good, and I'm probably not going to go around recommending it. My first Scalzi, and I don't know if that's typical of him, but I probably won't be in a hurry to pick up another one anytime soon.

Invisible Planets: Contemporary Chinese Science Fiction in Translation ed./trans. by Ken Liu. Short story collections are really hit and miss for me, but this was actually a collection that was pretty hit all the way through! Very interesting stories, a couple I'm still thinking about. I'm looking forward to reading my other collection of short stories in translation, which includes some fantasy - some of these actually felt somewhere between fantasy and science fiction in a very interesting way that I liked.

--

phew. I read a lot last month! Currently I'm reading Medea by Eilish Quin (we'll see how that goes); I have on my docket The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler (recommended to me) and I think I might reread She Who Became the Sun so I can read He Who Drowned the World. I've been on more of a fiction than a nonfiction kick of late, but I am eyeing Islands of Abandonment by Cal Flyn and might make that part of my rotation. we shall see!

[gatheringbones]

[“In the autumn of 2016, the two of us and a colleague attended a feminist conference in Glasgow. A somewhat hostile but curious woman came over to speak with us. She ran an NGO, it turned out, that defended the rights of migrant women across Europe, and she wanted to talk to us about the men – the punters. Weren’t they disgusting, she wanted to know. How could we disagree that they should be punished? We agreed that clients are often bad, but explained that punishing them produces harms for people who sell sex. We mentioned the evictions of sex workers in Nordic countries. Our interlocutor agreed that these evictions are real; women are thrown out of their houses in Scandinavia, yes. In fact, she told us, migrant women come to her NGO complaining that they have been thrown out of flats or hotels in Sweden, sometimes in the middle of the night. She continued, a note of derision entering her voice: ‘When that happens, I just think to myself’, she told us, mimicking her interactions with these evicted women, ‘I just think, lucky you: at least you’re not murdered’. She rolled her eyes at us.

We aren’t asking you to love the sex industry. We certainly don’t. We are asking that your disgust with the sex industry and with the men – the punters – doesn’t overtake your ability to empathise with people who sell sex. A key struggle that sex workers face in feminist spaces is trying to move people past their sense of what prostitution symbolises, to grapple with what the criminalisation of prostitution materially does to people who sell sex. People in these spaces see abstractions like ‘objectification’ and ‘sexualisation’ as universally relatable everywoman concerns. When we point out that the policies which flow from such discussions often lead to sex workers being evicted or deported, we are seen as raising ‘niche’ issues – or as obtusely unable to understand the ‘bigger picture’. We need to push our sisters to grapple with the ‘niche’ questions. Nobody can build a better, more feminist world by treating sex workers’ current material needs – for income, for safety from eviction, for safety from immigration enforcement – as trivial.

Both carceral and liberal forms of feminism are attractive because they offer seemingly easy answers to complex problems. Women’s work is underpaid and undervalued? Ask for that raise! Sexual violence is endemic? Fund more cops! There’s commercial sex online? Pass legislation to kick sex workers off the internet! Carceral feminism even styles itself as radical in doing so: radically uncompromising with male sexual entitlement, radically seeking to ‘burn down’ the sex industry. Such radicalism evaporates on closer examination: cops are not feminist. The mainstream feminist movement is correct in identifying prostitution as a patriarchal institution; they conveniently miss that policing is, too. Attempting to eradicate commercial sex through policing does not tackle patriarchy; instead, it continues to produce harassment, arrest, prosecution, eviction, violence, and poverty for those who sell sex.”]

molly smith, juno mac, from revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers’ rights, 2018

[slavicafire]

Żmijaaa where do you get your perfume samples from?? I would love to dive into the fragrance world myself...

ah, where don't I get them from! the beauty of current popularisation of more niche perfumeries - or fragrances as a hobby in general - means that samples are much more accessible than they used to be.

many perfumeries will offer them simply for purchase, either for each available fragrance or in bundles of their choosing - and many brands will offer their own discovery sets. for example, I am currently going through this in astra discovery set.

for bigger, mainstream perfume brands, I usually get their samples as extras for my purchases in places like notino or douglas or sephora, or during their marketing events.

depending on where you live - or how much you're willing to pay for shipping - there's a lot of places online and more and more brick and mortar perfumeries to visit. if you're in poland, I do certainly recommend house of merlo and mood scent bar as a good starting point, and then slowly exploring for more niche places and small brands.

editing to add lulua kindly reminded by @cosmmia 🖤

[maleficentmrsofallevil]

In a hole; still digging

Something I didn't mention in two prior posts about Luts: as I've said (ad nauseum), I've been a BJD collector for a few years now. With BJD collecting, there's a lot of - let's call it opaqueness. Den of Angels used to be the foremost authority on all things BJD, and honestly, while there have been tons of theories as to why the forum has lost popularity, I would point to one major factor: when image hosting stopped being free on Photobucket. Seems like as soon as Photobucket ended that particular perk, folks moved to free spaces like Instagram.

But I digress. The point is - this is a seriously niche hobby, and information is thin on the ground. Sometimes, you have to take clues from patterns you see, and after collecting for a few years, I've learned to view deviations from those patterns with a bit of suspicion.

For example: when a company only shows pictures of a doll's face fully painted (no blank photos), and the face is always pointed downwards, I will no longer buy. I need to see front and side/profile pictures of the blank sculpt. Otherwise, I'll get a head with a jarring feature (usually a poorly sculpted nose) that I do NOT like.

If the doll is always dressed, or posed with fancy fabric or props that conceal the joints (especially the knees), I will no longer buy. Chances are decent I'm going to get a doll that doesn't pose well.

Another pattern I've noticed is that the big, established companies tend to sell only their own dolls, and no one else's. Some examples:

Fairyland

Iplehouse:

Dreaming Doll:

There are two reasons I never ordered a doll directly from Luts. 1) There wasn't a sculpt that I just had to have, and damn the consequences (i.e., price).

2) I hesitated because...:

Luts has a "Brand Doll" tab that looks like a doll dealer tab. That's a LOT of brands that aren't Luts. I've seen doll dealers that carry fewer brands.

One of the things I've been told repeatedly is that doll companies are more like studios or machine shops. You are dealing directly with the people who make the dolls. Frequently, it's a 3-4 person operation. They tend to be a little rougher around the edges, and there isn't a dedicated customer service department. (Which is why folks who need customer service should order from dealers.)

So... how does Luts have time to be a dealer for all these other doll companies, and make their own dolls?

Even though I am almost certainly hated by Luts doll collectors, I would like to assert AGAIN that Luts makes gorgeous dolls. I just disagree with how the newer bodies are engineered. Considering the numerous other brands Luts offers for sale on their website? I don't think I'm alone.

Others are likely afraid to say anything bad (small hobby - word travels fast - people get pissed). I OTOH am a cranky old broad who has no issue throwing my big bull ass around the BJD china shop.

ONE HUGE EXCEPTION: VOLKS

Volks is the OG of BJDs. Volks is the GOAT of BJDs. Volks invented BJDs. Volks started life as a hobby company, and BJDs were incorporated into the business. If you're brand spanking new to the hobby and willing to drop a grand or two on a new doll, Volks offers the BEST new collector experience. My first Volks purchase was a dress, and I was stunned by the thought and care that went into the construction. I watched someone unbox a new doll from Volks, and when I then saw a used, complete SD one-off doll on Mandarake for under $600, I snapped it up. It was from 2009 and worth every penny of what I paid.

I completely understand why some people are loyal to and buy from Volks only. Buying a new Volks doll is like buying a new luxury car. Other companies... well, they're a bit more like DIY kit cars sometimes. Which I like! But I don't recommend for new collectors.

I don't shill for Volks because of the price. That's a lot of cheddar to expect from someone who knows nothing about these dolls.

[whoiwanttoday]

Anya Taylor Joy made an appearance at CinemaCon and thus she is making an appearance here. I find celebrities at CinemaCon to be a fascinating thing, along with the fact that CinemaCon is now a talked about thing. In part it's a function of the internet, it makes it very easy for people talk about niche things with other people who are interested in it. While certainly some people might have cared about CinemaCon or it's predecessors in the 80's but they probably didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Now they do, and in talking about it it takes on performance because other people hear other people talking about it and thus assume it is important so they start talking about it. And now celebrities go which is either a factor of the internet or the struggle of the movie industry to get people into theaters. Either way, now there are red carpet pictures every year and awards which brings eyeballs. I am not sure exactly how that helps theater owners but I suspect like a lot of trade shows it's glitz and glamour to dazzle them into buying your product. I don't want to shit on anywhere in particular but if you're a theater owner from Wyoming there is a good chance this is the only place you have ever seen a celebrity and it might be the glitziest thing you have ever been to. I don't have a larger point here, this is just what I think about and then I wonder why Anya Taylor Joy is there. Was she drafted? Is it part of the requirement of a movie she is in? Did she want the pay? Has she always desperately wanted to go to more industry trade shows (if so she should reach out to me, my job is always offering to send me to stuff, maybe I can get her in to something)? I don't know but she looked good so here she is. Today I want to fuck Anya Taylor Joy.

[soupthatistohot]

What is absurdism/the philosophy of the absurd?

I talk a lot about absurdism and how BSD can be read as an absurdist text, but I recognize that not everyone fully knows what absurdism as a philosophical principle or literary device actually is. So rather than explaining it every single time I bring it up, I figured I'd write a brief overview!

Note: for a while I worked with an inaccurate definition of absurdism that was closer to a definition for existentialism, but have since updated this definition. My main mistake was thinking that absurdism seeks to make meaning when it does not. Posts regarding absurdist analyses before June 2024 might be operating with this incorrect framework.

People often assume that when we talk about something being "absurd," that we're referring to the most commonly used definition of this word: "ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or incongruous." While this certainly applies to a certain extent, the more accurate defintion of the adjective in the context I talk about it is this: "having no rational or orderly relationship to human life: meaningless." In this case, I find the the noun definition to be most precise: "the state or condition in which human beings exist in an irrational and meaningless universe and in which human life has no ultimate meaning" (all definitions from Merriam-Webster).

Put simply: when I talk about the absurd and absurdism, I'm not simply referring to the fact that things are crazy or weird, but rather to the fact that they are nonsensical in relation to life and life's meaning. This is what is at the core of absurdism.

So what is absurdism, exactly? Merriam-Webster defines it as "a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe."

Existentialism contends that humans are responsible for creating their own meaning, absurdism is a branch of this school of thought that argues that there is no meaning at all, and that the act of continuing to live regardless is a rebellion against the absurd.

Albert Camus was a French philosopher and author who is often considered the father of absurdism as a philosophical principle. In his essay The Myth of Sisyphus, he compared human life to the greek myth of Sisyphus, a man who was cursed to roll a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll back down once he reached the peak, forcing him to start over -- a cycle that goes on for eternity. Sisyphus' mere existence is seemingly meaningless, but Camus argued that there is value in Sisyphus’ continual act of struggle -- his choice to continue pushing the boulder despite the circumstances is better than him giving up entirely, because he is rebelling against the absurd circumstances forced upon him.

Rebellion and revolt are at the forefront of absurdism, as the other options offered are incapable of giving life meaning, according to Camus. If one simply gives in to life's absurdity, becoming a part of the system rather than challenging it, then this accomplishes nothing and means you have trapped yourself within absurdity. The other option is suicide, which Camus also views as "giving in" to absurdity, since the individual succumbs to the idea that life has no worth. Acts of rebellion, on the other hand, have value because it pushes you to keep living regardless of absurdity.

Often, the mode of rebellion assumed by the absurdist is more absurd than the world itself. This is a really niche example, but I think it explains this well: During the communist regime in the then Czech Republic, revolutionary Vaclav Havel was followed by police when he was on vacation, constantly being spied on and sometimes attacked for no reason. Havel's response? He invited his stalkers in for tea.

What an absurd reaction to an absurd situation! But nevertheless it was an act of resistance, because Havel was directly acknowledging that he was being constantly spied on by the corrupt government for no good reason, breaking the unspoken rule of not acknowledging those spying on you. He knew that there was no point in trying to avoid them (doing so would only arouse more suspicion of him), so instead he embraced the absurdity of his situation. Often, an act of revolt entails doing just this.

In literature, whether the absurdist protagonist succeeds in their rebellion often depends on how pessimistic the author is. Franz Kafka, for example, ended most of his narratives in his main character dying in their act of rebellion, mirroring how in the real world things aren't always fair (an absurdity within itself). Camus was a bit more hopeful, his protagonists often surviving, but not always happily. Even in the case of death, though, it is implied that there is more meaning in having rebelled and died, than having continued living complicit to the absurd world.

Additionally, I want to briefly highlight that bureaucracy a big, fat absurdity that authors tend to critique. "The powers that be" often do not make sense and have priorities that don't align with commonly accepted human morals. Capitalism, government, military, police, and law are various institutions/ideas that are often criticized by absurdist authors for this reason. Franz Kafka wrote the story of a man sentenced to death without trial for a crime never detailed to him. Camus wrote the story of a doctor dealing with a plague outbreak that happened because officials didn't want to name the disease as plague and scare the public. These are just a few examples of many from the absurdist authors I am familiar with.

So, that's my brief overview of absurdity! I think it tends to pop up in a lot of fiction nowadays because of the relatable idea that things feel senseless paired with the hope that there's meaning in the act of pushing back against such things -- it makes for a good story!

I didn't cover everything here because I wanted to be concise, but I think this is a good foundational understanding of the principle to move forward with. Who knows, you might start recognizing the absurd in your favorite piece of fiction... or even in real life!

[tickle-bugs]

I just wanted to say regardless of whether you've seen the show that you're my favorite ST writer. I dont know how you capture the characters so well while further developing them perfectly but it's genuinely incredible. I must've read your steddie fics like 97 times just because I adore them <3 If you're still taking prompts, I'd love to maybe see Steve and Eddie! Maybe with "Oh this is too good to pass up" as the dialogue? Either way, you're incredible and I can't wait to read all your other work <3

Okay, wow this is VERY sweet ;w; You are so so kind anon. I think I'm getting better at writing them now after having practiced. Those first fics have a fond place in my heart for being the first ones, but every day I am tempted to rewrite them LMAO

anyways, I'm certainly far from perfect but I'm grateful that you enjoy them!! This warms my heart so much. I really do love writing them and the positive response to those fics made me wanna keep going and improve. Still haven't seen the show yet but honestly I'm chilling in this little niche I've carved for them.

Hopefully this fic makes you happy and pushes me a lil closer to being worthy of the honor of being your fav. Really hope you enjoy--I fuckin love these boys <3

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Ahoy, Sailor

You can read this as a season three au or as season four. Either way, Steve and Eddie have a bitchy will they/won’t they rivalry situation going on. Eddie REALLY likes pushing Steve’s buttons. 

It’s not unusual for Eddie to find his way to the Harrington house for some excuse or another, but he’ll admit it’s unusual to be invited. He tends to just appear and haunt Steve unasked. It’s more fun that way. 

Steve had called him, muttering something about how Eddie needed to come pick up his vest because it ‘smelled like a depressed hippie’. Eddie had fired back that Steve’s room couldn’t possibly smell any better without it, and their usual bickering had Eddie leaving fifteen minutes later with a grin on his face.

He loves Steve. Messing with him, that is. So, naturally, when Eddie ascends the stairs and sees Steve dressed like a little schoolboy, he takes a minute to compose his best jokes.

“Ahoy, sailor.” Eddie whistles, leaning in the doorway to Steve’s room. He drinks in the Scoops Ahoy uniform and all it blessedly has to offer. 

“Wh—oh, fuck off. It’s laundry day.” Steve rolls his eyes.

“Aye aye, cap’n.” Eddie salutes. Steve flips him off.

“Cool the attitude, sassy lost child.” Eddie snorts. There’s piles of clothes on every surface in the room, arranged in a way that suggests intention but would baffle even the most equipped psychologist. Eddie wants to ask about the system here, but he knows he’s no better, so he just watches Steve flit around with a little pout on his face. 

“You look like Donald Duck’s worst cousin.” Eddie snickers into his fist.

“You done?” Steve puts his hands on his hips.

“For now.” Eddie shrugs. Steve huffs.

Steve keeps rooting through the piles on the floor--slow enough to be mesmerizing, but fast enough where he’s clearly looking for something specific. Oh, his vest. Laundry. Eddie scans the room until, aha--he spots it hanging over the back of Steve’s desk chair, smooth and loved. Striking, compared to the state of everything else. Eddie smiles before he can catch himself. 

“My vest is over there.” Eddie jerks a thumb towards Steve’s desk. 

“Yeah, I see that.” Steve gives him a perplexed look. He shakes his head and keeps drifting through the clothes. 

“Then what are you looking for?” Eddie ventures, stepping into the room properly. As much as he wants to, he doesn’t shrug his vest on. It feels like a conclusion of business, a visual excuse for Steve to kick him out despite the olive branch he’s inexplicably extended. 

“A shirt. Robin’s got a date to impress.” Steve sorts through a pile. He looks between a yellow sweater and a green one, sighs, and tosses them both aside. 

“By wearing…your clothes?”

“Yes, Munson, keep up.” Steve puts a hand on his hip. “She’s gonna be here eventually, probably freaking out, and I wanna give her two options. Just two. She’s gotta look good, but she’s gotta be comfortable.”

“Right.” Eddie nods slowly, as if this makes sense. 

“Hey, make yourself useful. I’ve got this shirt, uhm, dark blue? With a little stripe? If you find it, let me know.” Steve flaps a hand at him. Eddie knows precisely the shirt--it fits Steve distractingly well. 

“I’ll get right on that, sweetheart.” Eddie flops backwards on the bed. Steve shoots him a withering look. Eddie gives his most charming smile and folds his arms behind his head. 

God, he loves this part of their little dance. The way Steve looks at him, the undeniable fondness buried beneath the exasperation—it’s a thrill. 

Steve tugs at a shirt underneath Eddie’s body, but he can’t get it free. He heaves a belabored sigh. 

“Do you mind?” Steve’s eyebrow twitches. 

“Not at all. I’m enjoying myself immensely.” Eddie smirks. 

“If you stretch out my shirt, I’m gonna push you in the goddamn pool. Get up!” Steve jabs Eddie in the side. Eddie giggles and flinches violently.

Steve Harrington is looking at him as if he’s the best present he’s ever received, and while some deep and unacknowledged part of Eddie does flips at the sight, it’s terrifying. 

“Oh, this is too good to pass up.” Steve crawls onto the bed after him, his devilish grin curling wider by the second. Eddie’s face burns and he scrambles to flee, but Steve’s already on top of him. 

“Don’t you dare, Harring—aaah!”  Eddie’s soul and dignity flee him in a high-pitched shriek. 

“Holy shit. I’m barely touching you.” Steve staccato pokes him everywhere he can reach, quick and light, and Eddie can’t stop the giggles bursting from him in waves. He wants to think of something witty to say, but it tickles, and Steve’s smirking—it’s a lot to ask of man under these conditions.

Steve starts tickling him in earnest, his fingers skittering wherever they can reach. When Steve trips up his ribs, Eddie arches like he’s being hit with a defibrillator. He smushes his face into his hands, hoping maybe he’ll smother himself and they can call this a day, but Steve tuts at him and pulls his hands away from his face. 

“No way you’re this ticklish,” Steve says again—does he really need to rub it in—and gives Eddie’s sides a curious squeeze. Eddie shrieks and flips himself over, attempting to crawl towards freedom. 

“Where’re you going?” Steve drags Eddie back into place by his waist. He makes an incoherent whining noise that breaks off into laughter and goes limp on the bed. He tries to roll back over but Steve is solid on top of him. Being face-down gives him the small mercy of being able to hide his face while he cackles.

God, he didn’t even know that the back of someone’s ribs could be ticklish. Holy hell. 

Eddie grabs at Steve’s knee and releases a desperate jumble of syllables. Steve yelps and falls backwards off the bed.

Eddie peeks at him over the edge of the bed, laughter petering off into gentle embers. Steve stares up at him, wide-eyed. Eddie backtracks, trying to figure out why a simple touch would’ve elicited such a big reac—oh. Oh. 

Steve’s halfway down the stairs before Eddie even realizes he’s gone. 

“Hey! Get back here!” Eddie skids after him two stairs at a time, swiping at the back of Steve’s shirt. 

Eddie tackles Steve over the back of the couch, both of them a tangle of screeching, flailing limbs. Steve’s stronger but Eddie is scrappy, having long since abandoned his self-preservation instincts. Steve tries to roll them over and Eddie goes limp. Steve grunts under the deadweight, and it gives Eddie the two seconds he needs to clamber on top of him properly. 

“Now—“ Eddie finally wrestles Steve down, huffing a lock of hair out of his eyes— “What the everloving fuck was that?”

“Nothing.” Steve’s poker face is good, but Eddie can see right through that easy smile. He walks his fingers across Steve’s stomach. Steve inhales sharply. 

“Didn’t sound like nothing.” Eddie raises his eyebrows innocently. Steve narrows his eyes at him, but his fake smile is very slowly twitching into a real one. 

Spurred on, Eddie kneads into Steve’s stomach, gentle and a little clumsy. Steve trembles under him, wrenching a hand free just to cover his face. Little huffs and snickers wobble out of him. 

“Dishing out what you can’t take? Oh, this is precious.” Eddie snickers. Steve shoves his hand into the side of his face to push him away. Eddie licks it.

Steve screeches, but that breaks the dam. The first beautiful sound from him is a snort. Eddie gasps happily, then laughs right along with Steve. 

It’s not that Steve doesn’t laugh, he does, but it’s often the restrained chuckle that Eddie loves to give every royal NPC in his campaign. Eddie’s never heard anything like this, this bubbly rush littered with voice-cracks and little bouts of nose-scrunched hiccups. He didn’t know Steve was even capable of these kinds of noises.

The stupid little Scoops shirt rides up and Eddie takes advantage of bare skin. Steve squeals and goes boneless on the couch. He hits Eddie with the full brunt of his smile, unfiltered and radiant, and something in Eddie’s chest flutters. 

“EddieEddieEddie--” Steve snorts again, and the speed at which his face turns scarlet suggests embarrassment. Eddie can’t imagine why. 

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Eddie reaches behind him and finds Steve’s knee, tickling just where the goofy shorts stop, and Steve wails. He curls his head into Eddie’s chest and seems to resign himself to die there. Eddie has absolutely no feelings about how warm Steve feels or the desperate little leg kick he does. 

Steve grabs Eddie’s wrists and he relents, figuring the promise of future mischief is a sufficient tradeoff for a truce. Steve collapses back into the couch cushions with a delirious little giggle, rubbing his hands over his beaming face. Steve peeks at him overtop his hands, then snickers again. 

The longer they sit here, both breathing a little hard, the longer Eddie has to notice the gentle warmth and curve of Steve’s eyes. A hysterical man would call them doe-like. Eddie accepts this new state of being and leans a little closer. His guitar pick necklace dangles over Steve’s chest. Steve’s jaw falls slack, eyes flitting to Eddie’s lips. Eddie’s hair falls in a frizzy curtain around them both. 

Eddie doesn’t see Robin so much as he hears her—the screech of disgust bounces off every wall. He pops his head up and they make direct, unfortunate eye contact. She shoots him an all-knowing look with her beady, accusatory little eyes and he gives her his most threatening zip it gesture. 

Steve decides that that’s the moment to counterattack, sending a cackling Eddie toppling off the cushions and onto the floor. Steve slides down after him, ducking under a flailing arm and scribbling his fingers wherever he can reach. Eddie curls up like a pillbug. He can hear Robin saying something but it's unintelligible over the sound of his own laughter.

“I know, right?” Steve grins back at her, then looks back to Eddie. Softly. 

Steve has the audacity to wink at him. Eddie files that little moment away for Tonight Eddie to scream into a pillow about, and instead focuses on launching a counter-counterattack that’ll save his life. 

[bthump]

How does Guts and Griffith demonstrate queer coding?

The difficulty for me in applying the term queer coding to Berserk, rather than eg homoeroticism or gay subtext, is that to discuss coding thoroughly requires more cultural context than I have, since coding is inherently reliant on cultural context to be understood. But I can offer a few ideas.

So, I've seen a case made that Black Swordsman era Guts evokes a certain 80s-era Japanese gay male aesthetic (short spiky hair, I think the outfit a bit, and some body language) but I don't know nearly enough about that particular cultural niche to make that case myself. I also don't have a link handy to where I've seen this discussed with comparison pics (I think a tumblr post back in the day, but even that I'm iffy on lol), sorry about that.

Arguably Griffith's androgyny counts as coding here. I don't think bishounen in general are queer coded, since, as far as I'm aware, they're generally intended to be seen as handsome and largely masculine, but Griffith being canonically so pretty people aren't always sure he's a man is separate from that, and certainly contributes to the homoeroticism. Add in some of Miura's comments about how androgynous characters should have both male and female love interests, and BL's longstanding history of androgynous pretty boys, and it's probably enough to call it queer coding.

Again, I'm differentiating coding from homoeroticism in general or gay/romantic subtext - this is about how Guts and Griffith individually, regardless of their relationship or how the narrative frames them and the events of their lives, evoke gay vibes through their surface depiction.

If you want the homoeroticism/romance subtext I have essays and essays worth of examples. But yeah, when it comes to coding I just don't have the necessary context to have more than a few vague thoughts.

Thanks for the ask!