#a side character who gets a couple lines of dialogue At Best and then his entire universe is rebooted nine zillion times Again and hes gone.

[spider-man-2o99]

individual stills of miguel Scampering on all fours and showing off his more distinct individual movement style (that he has because of his spider-man's Similar-but-still-distinctly-Weird-and-unique powers as compared to the more-graceful Others) so that i don't have 2 keep rewinding the clip(s) to see it. im REALLY excited to see him scuttling and skittering all over the place in the film just like he does in the comics-- and, like, seriously, Miguel Specifically being just. made Massive for some reason in his atsv design will never NOT be funny to me hes SO freakin Bouncy why did they Do That.

don't be Weird on my post or i'll kill you for real

[pjmparadise]

3:23 am (don’t go, stay) Pt 1 || JJK

Pairing: jungkook x f! original character

Word count: 12.1k

Genre(s): fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, slight angst if you squint; neighbor au, pre-debut Jungkook au, pre-debut au, comic book artist Jungkook au, apartment au, neighbor au

Warnings: cursing, mentions of jungkook’s penis (yeah yeah... he sleeps naked ofc), brief injury (jk hurts himself bc he’s a dork); descriptions of anxiety and fear (jungkook is scared for a sec, oops); nudity mentions, jungkook is a little horny (what can I say....), jungkook gets a hard on lol; he’s also down bad pathetic crushing and is super clumsy, and brief mentions of home robberies (lol this feels random, but it isn’t I swear), very heavily dialogue based

Audience: 18+ (minors, DNI!)

Summary: Jungkook has had a couple of awkward run-ins with his pretty upstairs neighbor, who he may or may not be secretly pining over, and one night, she pays him an unexpected visit.

“My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”

“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”

He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

A/N: WOOO! my first jungkook fic!! We recently got his birth time, and thus this title was born lol! I’ve been working on this baby for a few months now, and it’s finally finished!! After a long time of contemplating, i decided to make our female character an original character, and i know it’s kind of a rare thing in the community, but i felt it worked best with my story. It’s been a bumpy ride with this one since it’s my first lengthy fic (over 12k words... sheesh!) that will be a part of a short series. I’m very excited and a little nervous, but if you’re here, I’m glad to have you here. Thank you for giving my work a shot <3 (ps. italics indicate jungkook’s inner thoughts as well as flashbacks)

a big thank you to my lovely beta’s: @cherrysoulth @the-boy-meets-evil​ and @jeonjcngkook​ you’ve all helped me shape my fic and have been so helpful, and I am so so grateful. truly. seriously. thank you for brainstorming with me, for reading my work, and for being so sweet and so supportive.

a special thank you to @itaeewon​ for the lovely banner! I love it so so much &lt;3

Jungkook is awake to hear the sound of a muffled thud nearby.

His bedroom is dark and silent save for the alarm clock resting on a bedside table flashing bright red numbers at him. ‘It’s late, it’s late, you should be asleep,’ the time says. Jungkook shuts his eyes, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. “I know, fuck, I know,” he mutters. He’s fully naked, lying on his back, eyes wide open and boring into the ceiling, blanket kicked off to the side, and arms folded behind his neck–still remembering a phone conversation with Namjoon earlier in the day.

“So she walked toward the elevator as it closed, and you didn’t open it for her?” Namjoon scoffs over the phone, shaking his head and clicking his tongue to show he’s disappointed. He knows Jungkook froze, Jungkook already told him he wanted to reach out and push the button for her, but Namjoon asked again anyway—he likes to give him a hard time. “Every time you see this girl, things just kind of go wrong. I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says with a sigh. “I’ve noticed too. Is it a sign? Should I give up?” In his apartment, he sat curled up on his couch, his chin on his kneecaps. He’s fallen silent in thought.

“No, nothing like that. Maybe she didn’t get to see it was you, so she thinks it was someone else, or maybe she doesn't even think about it anymore. You know, like things that happen in your day you forget about later unless something reminds you of it?”

“Yes!” Jungkook relaxed, falling back against the couch with a hand over his forehead. “That probably is what’s going on. She went on with her day; other things have to happen, right?”

Namjoon was quiet. In his apartment, he was opening mail and reading over a proposal he was meant to sign soon. A project he hasn’t mentioned to anyone else, Namjoon folds the letter and sets it aside. “Sorry, yes. Yes, don’t worry too much. It will ruin your day. I mean that. Sorry for the pause. I just opened some mail.”

“Ah, okay. Well, you’re right.” Jungkook rose from his seat then. “Namjoon-hyung?”

Namjoon nodded even though he couldn’t be seen. “Yeah?”

“Thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough, but you’re always helping and guiding me when I don’t even realize I need it.”

“Thank you, Jungkook. Finish your comic tonight, and submit it tomorrow. I know you’ll place in the contest and do well. You haven’t scrapped it have you?”

Jungkook sighed. Rubbing his eyelids, walking distractedly around his living room, he spoke with his eyes closed. “I have it. I finished it; I just don’t feel too good about posting it, even with the pseudonym; it feels like too much. Too much with what we already have going on as a group even. We’re trying to do something together, and the comic stuff is just… I don’t know. I don’t want it to distract me.”

Namjoon was on his back patio, leaning over the railing and looking out at the park across from him. “Jungkook, I’m going to tell you something and think about it however you want to. I respect your life, but I think—and these are just my opinions. I think you doubt yourself too often and need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.” Namjoon folds his arms over the railing, leaning his body against it. “No rush, bro. At all. The music we’re trying to pursue, it’s not going anywhere, you know?”

Jungkook nodded from his living room.

“Like, okay, look.” Namjoon fixed his gaze on a flock of birds rising from the trees. “The guys, we all have our passions. Yoongi with his piano, Jimin is passionate about his dancing, Taehyung with his instruments, Jin and his gaming, and Hoseok he’s been designing his own clothes lately; with me, you know I like poetry and painting, but we all share music. That is for the team, for a part of us, but we each have so many parts. You like art and storytelling; your comics are so cool, bro. You love watching Taehyung practice the trumpet, and Jimin dance after practice. We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.”

Jungkook almost cried. He stopped pacing. His heart was racing; it was all he had heard momentarily. If Namjoon were there in front of him, he’d hug him. Maybe he’d even cry. “Ah, Namjoon-hyung…” he swallowed hard at the saliva in his throat, blushing. ‘Namjoon always knows what to say,’ he thought. “I will think about it. I will set an alarm, just in case. I’ll decide in the morning, you know it’s my style to do that the day of. If I think about it now, it will be like this all day, and I’ll stress too much.”

“Good, then. Just think about it.” Namjoon smiled.

Jungkook lies motionless with his eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, mouthing along to Namjoon’s words. “We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.” He sighs. How could he not worry about the guys? He’s twenty-five. Most idols start out much younger, and the mandatory enlistment is already so near for his hyungs. It’s bad timing, is all. My comic book can wait.

He wants to sleep, so he turns over, laying flat on his stomach, facing his wall. Resting his full body weight on his flaccid penis is slightly uncomfortable, but he ignores it. It’s the type of restless night that he has no chance up against, and even with his eyes closed, he feels painfully awake. Jungkook is thinking of her again—her pretty smile, the pink sundress she wore in the elevator, her ability to look him in the eyes and not shy away—and it’s almost like she's here, in the same room with him. He pictures the sundress again, the way it clung to her frame, highlighting every curve. Man, I want her. He shifts his hips around, surprising himself with a massive erection.

The thud strikes again suddenly, and he sits up, alarmed. Shit, is that here? Like outside my apartment? Jungkook squints in the darkness, bringing a hand to the nightstand to fetch his glasses. Any sign of arousal is now extinguished.

“Bam?” He calls out in a sluggish voice.  The clock beside him flashes bright red numbers at him. 3:23. “Ah, shit,” Jungkook mumbles, turning the clock away. A sound he can’t distinguish comes from his left, directly outside his bedroom. “It’s like home alone,” he says to no one.

Jungkook rests his head against the wall, the texture cold against his feverish face. He can hear the sound of a muffled conversation. “Shit, that’s right here, right outside,” he mumbles, stepping back. He reaches over mechanically to switch on the lamp beside him.

Now, Jungkook is painfully aware of his nakedness and frenetically searches for bottoms to change into. He’s thinking about how his legs don’t feel like his own as he walks to the chair by the door, where he sees basketball shorts. It’s like sleepwalking. Even though he’s awake, Jungkook feels as though he might’ve actually fallen asleep, and this is some strange anxiety dream he’s creating to cope with his qualms about submitting his comic. Still, he goes along with it, quietly changing into the shorts, walking out into his living room, and ducking his head when he passes the glass patio door.

Cursing under his breath, annoyed at himself for forgetting to throw on a shirt, Jungkook shakes his head at himself. I don't want to fight an intruder shirtless and commando in basketball shorts, damn... A part of him feels a rush of adrenaline as he crouches behind a potted plant and, chewing on his lower lip, fantasizes about a robbery gone wrong, one where he puts his boxing skills to the test—the other part of him wants this to be a dream, a sign from the universe that he ought to submit his comic. I’ll fucking do it if I survive this.

Jungkook stays like that for a while until he hears a sound again. Rising from his crouched position, he walks toward the back patio window, pulling back the curtain to peer out. He feels a tightness in his chest, and his hands tremble slightly. A shameful part of him is relieved that he’s alone and no one is around to see how shaken up he is.

He whistles quietly, calling to Bam, forgetting his brother is watching over him tonight. Craning his neck, he glances around his balcony patio and sees nothing. “Bam, come here,” his whispering is frantic. He whistles again, patting his leg lightly. Nothing. You’re okay. It’s nothing. It’s probably the cats again tipping over the plants. Just fix it tomorrow. Now, go back to bed. You need it. Jungkook is about to whistle once more when he remembers. His eyebrows knit together; shaking his head, he places his fingertips on his eyelids, murmuring a lamented, “Ah.”

Thinking better of it, he draws the curtain back again and sighs with relief before taking note of a figure crouched behind a chair with a hand shooting up to rub their head. Panic washes over him. His inner monologue consists of a string of every curse word he can think of as he ducks out of view. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s a person. If he’d been scared earlier, now he’s downright petrified.

Desperate, he begins to look around the room for a weapon. Anything. Jungkook stands still, breathing in heavy gulps of air, cradling his head as he adjusts his vision to the darkness of the living room. ‘Can’t even turn a fucking light on,’ he thinks as he drops to the ground and crawls around his living room. His home’s silence unsettles him. Jungkook can hear the nothingness aside from his ragged breathing, so he pinches the skin on his arm and hisses at the sharp pain. Okay, real life it is. His bare knees skid against the hard flooring, and his clammy palms slip beneath him; his heart is thudding hard and fast, the blood pooling between his ears. He’s scowling, chewing his lower lip, his chest heaving as he fumbles a hand under the couch; he fingers a cold object and remembers what it is. Aha! He comes up with a golf club Taehyung left behind a few nights ago. I love you, Taehyung!

Jungkook grips the golf club until his knuckles take on a pale color. Having a weapon gives him a newfound sense of security, and like before, he’s fantasizing about kicking someone’s ass. “You come to my house at three in the morning? My house?” he says as he walks through his living room, rolling his shoulders.

He draws the curtain again, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness; he sees the figure facing away from him and hunching over, a phone glowing against their face. He can call the police, and he almost wants to, but to avoid the drama of a police visit at three in the morning, he decides against it. Imagine the guys find out I called the police? He shudders at the thought. The stranger looks small anyway.

Jungkook reaches for the doorknob and pulls back the door. It’s a lot chillier than he’d anticipated. He folds his arms over his bare chest instantly, the skin covered in goosebumps—his teeth chatter of their own accord.

“Don't move!” He raises the golf club in a mid-swing position, ready to strike. The person shifts around, holding up the hand with the phone. “I said, ‘Don’t move’!” He sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't care. In the shadows, he watches the phone’s glow shut off. “I called the police, so don’t try anything. They’re on the way.” His voice doesn't even sound like his own. He takes a few steps toward the stranger, his grip tightening around the golf club. His heart feels heavy in his chest.

It’s hard to make out the features of this person, but they rise, walk toward the dim light spilling from the neighbor’s window, and he can see them now. The stranger looks straight at him, and he’s met with wide eyes staring at him. She’s standing, squinting at him with a hand on her hip, and she smiles wide. Damn! If this were an animation, she’d have a halo effect.

Jungkook has seen her a total of seven times—he can’t help it; he likes to keep track of these things. It’s his upstairs neighbor, their interactions before tonight being brief and in passing (the most recent engraved in his mind and tormenting him), and he’s thought of her tirelessly and has fantasized about a time they should meet, and things go well for a change.

Jungkook doesn't know her name, but he could recognize those beautiful dark eyes anywhere. He’s looking into them now, his body anchored, mouth turning into sawdust.

She’s talking to him; he’s just not listening. Not really. He can't grasp the reality that it’s actually her, and she’s standing on his patio, and she looks so beautiful. Should he be thinking that?

Her long black hair is in a loose ponytail, her eyebrows arch as her deep dark eyes blink at him, and her lips move. “Please tell me you didn't really call the cops,” she says, bursting through his trance.

Damn, I sounded so stupid! Jungkook blushes. He hopes she can’t tell from where she stands.

“I was trying to call my friend; I swear I was not snooping or breaking in.” She smiles, but her voice sounds worried. Her eyebrows furrow like she’s trying to read him. “Honest,” she says in a small voice as she leans on the railing and raises her hand with the cell phone for emphasis.

She’s wearing a dark gray sweatshirt twice her size and sandals with white socks, and he can’t tell if she’s wearing shorts or if the sweatshirt is all. He can feel his face reddening just from the possibility of her nakedness underneath the sweatshirt, so he decides not to focus on that.

Jungkook rubs the nape of his neck, abashed. The cold air surrounds him, and he folds his arms across his chest, remembering his exposed chest. His empty threat echoes and bounces around in his head, and he looks away from her. “I didn't call the cops, sorry. I didn't know what else to say. It’s what they say in movies.”

“You would be right anyway; this is your patio.” She laughs a little at that, and his heart rate picks up. She pushes herself away from the railing, smiling, and walks toward him with an outstretched hand. Her nail polish is glittery, and he doesn't notice, but this small detail makes him smile. “I’m Rei. I live upstairs. Maybe you’ve seen me before.” There’s a coy look on her face as she says this, and it makes him nervous.

So her name is Rei!!! Fireworks set off, exploding behind Jungkook’s wide eyes.

“Huh, maybe,” Jungkook lies. He shakes her hand slowly, his hand enveloping hers entirely, the contact sending a warm shock through his body.

“Maybe a few days ago,” she says, with a finger to her chin, like she’s thinking over something. “Oh, yes, have I seen you on the elevator?”

“The elevator?” He feigns innocence as he tongues his lip ring anxiously. “That’s strange. Every day is a blur for me.”

“For me, too,” she replies. She’s almost smirking, watching Jungkook lie. He can tell she’s caught him. “You just look sooo familiar.”

“That’s a first.” Still, he denies it.

“Maybe you just look like someone I’ve seen,” she says, looking into his eyes as if searching for something she placed there. “You have one of those faces, you know?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows, lips parted to speak, but nothing comes out. 

Is she flirting with me or giving me a hard time? DAMN!

“I have an ordinary face?” Jungkook wonders after a moment.

“Either that or my memory is failing me,” she says, sighing and shaking her head. “Which do you think it is?”

“I don't have an ordinary face,” Jungkook says in a small voice, “I have piercings on my face.”

“That’s true…” she’s watching the ground and suddenly looks into his eyes again. She holds his stare unblinking, and then her lips pull back into a big smile showing off cute bunny teeth. Just like me. “I’ve always had a good memory; I was just kidding.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says, blushing.

He can smell her perfume when a cold breeze blows past him, carrying her real-life presence and enveloping him in it. It’s sweet and mixed with a scent of detergent he recognizes, and he’s watching how strands of her hair float beside her face. She’s so cute. Damnnnn.

“You should open the door for the ladies,” Rei says, raising an eyebrow, and stepping closer, she says, “Just harmless advice. Stranger .”

“I will consider that,” he replies, avoiding her fixed stare, attempting to ignore how she’s riled him up with a loud clearing of his throat. But his chest is on fire, his heart thudding hard against his rib cage at her closeness. “My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”

“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”

He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”

She laughs, and he internally swoons. If he were a cartoon, his heart would burst out of his chest in comical dramatic thuds, his pupils heart-shaped.

“I’m kidding. I know I’m giving you a hard time when I’m on your patio at three in the morning, but I can explain why I’m here,” Rei mimics Jungkook’s movements by crossing her arms across her chest, her lower lip trembling, “but can I come in? It’s cold out, and I'm in the worst attire for this weather.” She gestures vaguely at her exposed legs, and Jungkook’s stare lingers before she notices—so he responds with a nod as he gestures for her to follow him inside. “Though you might have me beat. You came out here without a shirt, damn.”

Leading the way, he blushes at her comment and gives his head a light shake. She’s so talkative! Yoongi was right about her.

With a dreamy air about him, he remembers Namjoon’s words. Except now, all he remembers is: “You need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.”

Inside, Jungkook excuses himself to his room to change into a shirt. He reaches for his glasses beside his bed and goes to the closet. “Shirt, shirt, shirt,” he mutters as his hands sift through empty hangers. When was the last time he did laundry? He groans. “Shirt?” he reaches to pick up a heap of white clothing in the deep corner of the closet. He brings the shirt to his nose, sniffs, and walks back into the room, raising an eyebrow and nodding with approval. His hands are shaky as he maneuvers his head through a t-shirt sleeve in a panicked rush. He yanks the shirt off again, the t-shirt now inside out and knotted up in his grip; he groans as his fingers work the fabric. What if she’s gone when I go back out there? Agh, what if I’m dreaming all of this up, and lack of sleep is finally getting to me?

Rei’s voice comes through the walls, and though this is their first official meeting, he knows she’s smiling as she calls out to him. “You okay in there?”

Smoothing out the wrinkles on the shirt, he glances at his reflection behind the bedroom door before stepping out, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. “I’m okay; all is OK. Sorry.” He offers her a thumbs up and a big goofy grin that makes her laugh.

“Did you go on a hike without me?” She asks from her seat on his couch. She rests her face on her palm, looking up at him as he walks past toward the kitchen.

“Hike? I just put the shirt on; it was fighting me, though.”

“No, I meant,” she shakes her head, laughing. “I meant that as a while for changing into a shirt. Bad joke, sorry.”

“Ah,” Jungkook says.

“You’re wearing glasses,” she comments, her eyes looking over his face.

“I am,” he says, glancing her way.

It looks like she wants to say something else but doesn't.

He raises his eyebrows, nodding and tonguing the inside of his cheek. It doesn't happen often, but he doesn't know what to say. He walks into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. “Do you drink tea?” He wonders as he fills a kettle with water and sets it to boil.

Rei nods, stretching her legs before her and craning her neck back to look up at the ceiling. “Chamomile or whatever you have, I’m not picky.” She points a finger above her head, motioning for him to look. “Those are stars. Is this wallpaper? It looks pretty. Is it glow-in-the-dark?”

Jungkook is in the kitchen, his eyes watching how her finger moves in a swift motion of the length of the ceiling. He thinks about how her hand felt in his grip and wishes he’d been more present. “It’s… I don’t know, actually. It’s not a wallpaper; it’s carved into the ceiling, and yes, it glows but not like the bright green; it’s softer.” He looks at her, and she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “Want to see?”

She twists her body to look at him, her smile so big he can’t help but return the affection. “Yes. Show me.”

“Grab the remote beside you; turn off the lights with it.”

She clicks the lights off, and the gasp she lets out makes his heart flutter in his chest. Aside from the hard thudding in his chest, the only sounds nearby are the buzzing of the refrigerator, the ice machine rolling out handfuls of freshly carved-out cubes, and the bubbling water in the kettle. Jungkook doesn't dare disturb the quiet; he’s leaning against the kitchen table, wanting her to stay. He looks for her in the dark, his eyes finding her silhouette on the couch, his lips pulling back into a smile. She’s better than in his daydreams; she smells sweet and of detergent, and she feels like a real person just like him, so near but out of his reach. And here, in the same room as him, so close to him, Jungkook realizes she could’ve left by now but hasn’t.

“I’d love it if I had this on my ceiling,” Rei pouts, “want to trade?” She clicks the lights back on, and Jungkook blinks, slowly adjusting to the brightness.

He pretends to mull it over, humming and tonguing his cheek. He puts on his best-thinking face. “No way, but you can come over and look at the stars when it's overcast or raining outside.” He walks toward the stove, where the water boils in the kettle. With his back turned to her, he’s hiding his blushing face as he sets two cups out before him.

“I think that sounds nice,” she replies, surprising him. “So what, I walk outside sometime, see a gray sky, and come downstairs to see you? ‘Hey, neighbor, can I see the stars?’ and you say, ‘Come in, I’ve just made cocoa, would you like some?’ and I say, ‘Thank you, are you sure?’ and then you say, ‘Sure’ except I never leave because I like the stars so much and you don’t know how to tell me I should go home.”

“Oh, that’s a good conversation. Is that what you’d like me to make? I like hot cocoa,” Jungkook says, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “You think I'd want you to leave?”

“Well, if I were here all the time….” she looks at him through her lashes, and he catches her eyes and raises an eyebrow at her, a playful smirk on his lips. And she shakes her head, laughing. “Do you mean it, though?”

“About you coming to see the stars whenever you’d like?” Jungkook asks, leaning against the kitchen island. She nods at him in two slow motions of her head. “Yes, I mean it.”

“The skies are unusually gray these days, aren’t they?”

“I’ve noticed that too,” he says, opening the fridge. He grabs a box of cherries and shuts the door with his elbow. “But no rain.”

“Exactly, I told my friend Kimi; she lives with me upstairs and is almost a sister to me, except we have different parents. Well, I told her, ‘Haven't you noticed how it looks like it’s going to rain every day, but it never does?’ and she says, ‘Rei, it rains. It just happens to be when you’re asleep,’ and can you believe it? I woke up yesterday, and it was early, not like tonight, but early for me, and I looked outside my window, and there was dew sticking to the glass, and it was all sweaty when I touched the windowpane, and I realized she was right, it rained during the night, and I just missed it. Isn't that something so lame?”

“Huh,” Jungkook says, chewing on a cherry and offering the box to her. She shakes her head no and mouths a ‘Thank you’ to him. “So we’re off asleep and just missing the rain, so it always works out that we’re missing out on something during the day. It’s always like that. Kimi sees the rain, and you’re off sleeping, but you probably get to see other things I miss when I’m taking a nap and on and on.”

“That’s true. But I thought about catching it tonight. When I went to bed hours ago, I kept thinking about the rain and wondering if I stayed up, I might see it, and it wouldn’t just feel like I kept missing it and living the same gray day.”

“It’s like Santa Claus,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose as he tongues a cherry stem in his mouth, “waiting up all night for him to show up just for you to see your dad dressed up as Santa and realize he’s been putting the presents down there for years.”

Rei laughs at this and covers her face with her hands like she’s protecting her laugh from anything sharp. “Your dad did that? For real?”

Jungkook scrunches his eyebrows and pinches his nose bridge, and with a tone of feigned affliction, he says, “Yeah, he did. I knew the truth before a lot of my classmates.”

“How old were you? When he ruined Santa Claus. Do you remember a thing like that, like how old you were?” She rests her chin on her palm like she’s weighing her head. He thinks she looks cute like that but doesn’t say anything.

“I don't know exactly, but I was in the third year of school,” Jungkook says, suddenly thinking back on his infancy. He chews his lower lip when the answer suddenly comes to him, and he remembers the conversation he had with the guys a while back. They’d all taunted Seokjin when they found out Seokjin didn't know the truth about Santa until he was thirteen. “I was seven. I can't believe I remembered that. I was seven….” His mouth hangs open, and he remembers what he wore when he first saw his dad hunched over behind the tree with a gift in hand— a white flannel pajama set and his mother’s slippers. Where has this memory been hiding?  “Damn.”

“I was six,” she says, smiling. “My childhood was ruined a year before yours. Or wait, are we the same age? I just assumed we were.” She laughs again, bringing a hand up to her face to hide her smile.

“I assumed the same thing,” Jungkook admits, feeling his cheeks redden. “I’m twenty-five.”

“Oh wow,” she says, almost to herself. “Me too.”

He doesn't know what else to do but clear his throat and nod.  He never imagined getting this far (whatever that means). He’ll struggle to explain this later when Namjoon asks—Jungkook knows he’ll ask.

The kettle begins to whistle, and he’s reaching for the two coffee mugs as she says something behind him he doesn't catch. And he turns his head over his shoulder and nods at her. “What happened? Sorry, I didn't catch that.”

“I said, ‘You don't have to do that for me.’” She turns her head away as she says this, her long hair cascading along her profile, hiding her.

“I have a visitor,” he says, turning over to look at her with a grin. “I have good manners.”

“Oh, sure, manners,” she replies, rolling her eyes at him like a friend he’s known for years. “Is that my tea? It smells amazing.”

“It is, but it’s hot, so let’s leave it here.” Jungkook offers her a tight-lipped smile, shyly making his way toward her. “Mind if I sit next to you?”

“No, not at all; come, sit.” She pats the spot beside her and scoots over to make room for him. “Thank you for the tea and for letting me in. I know it’s late.”

Jungkook glances at the clock on the kitchen stove. 3:55. “It’s not that late. I was awake anyway, so I didn’t mind.” He’s toying with his lip ring again. “Why were you out there anyway?”

It’s been some time since Jungkook’s been this close to a girl. He feels his heart thudding away in his chest, her presence stirring up a desire that’s been dormant. Loose strands of hair frame her face, and his eyes follow her movements as she brushes the strands away. She looks embarrassed, her cheeks reddening. Still, he finds her so cute. “Truth?”

“Yes.” He scrunches his nose when he smiles at her.

“I locked myself out of my apartment. Before bed, I stepped out into my patio for a smoke and to read more of my book. I was also trying to test my rain suspicions to see if I could catch it while it happened. So, I’m out there romanticizing my life, pretending I’m in a movie; you know how we act when we’re alone and suddenly want to be poetic?” She looks at Jungkook, and he nods lightly. “That was me, except I got cold right away and said, ‘Oh fuck this, I’m going to bed,’ and that’s when I realized I’d locked the back door, and I was so mad I almost cried.” She places her fingertips against her forehead, continuing her recounting. “So, of course, I get the idea of calling a locksmith, but they’re closed; I don’t know what people should do if they need help during the night.”

“Most people sleep, I think.”

She clicks her tongue. “Right, some people do, but you and I are not those people, right?” She draws an imaginary line with her forefinger from her chest toward him. He nods and feigns oblivious as his leg brushes against her bare thigh as she shifts in her seat. “So, not only is every locksmith not available, but my service is horrible, so I am standing on my tiptoes trying to get a bar, and my phone slips. My heart almost burst.” She brings a hand to her chest for visual effect, and his eyes watch her chest as it rises and falls with each breath. He’s smiling at her—a wide smile that hurts his cheeks. “If it weren’t for your patio, my phone would be shattered to hell on the ground. I look over my balcony, and for the first time, I notice how close our balconies are.” Rei presses her hands over her thighs, leaning forward in her seat and fixing her eyes on the glass patio door across from her. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I don’t go out there much. Anyway, I’m rambling. I noticed I could jump directly into your patio because there’s a mattress out there, and well….” She makes a motion with her hands that says: ‘ Ya know?’

“You weren’t scared of jumping? The balconies are close, but we’re still six stories up.” Jungkook rests his hands on his knees, fully invested in this story; his eyes never leave her. She forms a tight line with her lips and gives him a serious look that makes him laugh. “Ok, so you were scared.”

“I was scared! But there’s a mattress out there, you know,” she says in a small voice. She’s blushing and scratching at the side of her nose to avoid his eyes.

Jungkook notices this and clicks his tongue, leaning back in his seat.  “So it was not an accident, then?” He raises an eyebrow at her, sucking his teeth in feigned disapproval.

The truth is, he’s not mad about it; he wants her here. He almost feels like he is in a dream.

“Not entirely. Don’t ask me how I thought about returning to my place after retrieving my phone because I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Oh, there’s a mattress out there. You could’ve just slept there; no big deal,” Jungkook says with a laugh. Rei brings a hand to her face to hide behind, making a groaning sound. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to laugh at you. I just don't know what to think— this has never happened before.”

“And it won’t happen again; let’s hope.” She laughs, and it’s different from before; it sounds deeper like she reached into herself and decided to really show him. And Jungkook likes the sound of her laugh but does not comment. She moves a few strands of hair from her face and rests her cheek on her hand, leaning on the couch's armrest. It’s slowly dawning on Jungkook how badly he wants her. What am I supposed to do with her this close to me? Damn. “So, what’s your name? You didn’t say when I told you mine.”

He rises from the couch, remembering their tea.

“Jeon Jungkook,” he says as he pours the tea, “I guess I forgot to introduce myself. Huh.”

Rei’s looking at him with her chin in her hand and a serious look on her face as he’s walking toward her with an outstretched hand in offering. “It’s chamomile,” Jungkook announces.

“Jeon Jungkook,” She repeats with a light smile. “I like it. I don’t know any other Jungkooks.”

“Yeah? I’ve had this name for a long time. I like it too.”

She takes the cup and brings it to her face, inhaling the scent and shivering, and says, “Thank you again. This tea smells sweet. It reminds me of this tea my grandmother used to make my sister and me when we were kids. She would put a little bit of honey, the real kind, and peppermint leaves; it was….” She sighs longingly. “I miss that tea; this smells like home.”

Sitting beside her, he takes a sip of tea, his gaze on her unmoving. Her lips part as she blows gently, the steam rising from the cup in lazy strokes. Jungkook’s heartbeat quickens when she matches his stare with her deep dark eyes that seem to look for something in his.

“This tea has honey, but I doubt it’s the real kind you mentioned, but I still think it’s good.” He clears his throat, looking away as he adjusts his glasses on his nose bridge.

“I like your glasses. I wanted to say that earlier,” Rei comments, taking a sip of her tea, “I don't know why I didn't say anything.” She moves around in her seat, tucking her legs beneath her, then asks, “Can I wear them? Are they prescription?”

“They’re just reading glasses. You can wear them. I put them on sometimes just because they suit me,” he pulls his glasses off, wipes the lenses on his shirt, and hands them over.

“Ah, so you like how they look on you,” she says, her eyes gleaming as she takes the glasses from him and sets them on her face. “How do they look?”

If he were a cartoon character from one of his comics, he’d have melted into a puddle, exploded like dynamite, turned into stardust, and returned to his original self. Except, she’s a real person just like he is, flesh and blood and so beautiful, and he’s off in space being reborn.

“Look at me,” he motions for her to turn his way. She looks straight at him, wearing his glasses and blushing at his attention. She begins to unfold in front of him, her playful demeanor softening. “You look pretty. If they weren't my prescription, I would give them to you.”

“Here, they’re hurting my eyes,” she says, laughing. She removes the glasses and starts rubbing her eyes with closed fists. “You’re sweet, though. I couldn't take a guy’s glasses. How will he go on drinking his tea and letting me in to watch the stars?”

Jungkook feels a warmth spread in his chest. God, how is she real? He runs his fingers through his long hair and coughs once, then again. His nerves are getting to him. She’s too close to him, her bare thigh soft against his leg. He begins to count backward in his head.

“Were you really awake already, or did I wake you?” She asks him all of a sudden. Her eyes stay on him as if waiting for him to say something else.

“You don’t believe me? I was awake. Swear.” He raises his free hand at his side.

She appears to mull that over for a bit, bringing her cup of tea to her lips but not taking a sip. “What were you doing?”

Jungkook is silent, and she sits unmoving until he speaks.

What was I doing? Besides dreading another deadline? Thinking about a comic I might not submit or thinking about not having a shot in hell with a girl like you? Images of the times they’ve run into each other flick by in his head like a slow PowerPoint slide. The registration office, desolate stairwells, crowded evacuations, elevators closing, Rei standing in front of him in a summer dress with a strange look on her face; Rei on his back patio, hunched over with a phone near her face; Rei in his apartment, on his couch, next to him. He feels the adam’s apple in his throat rising and falling. He’s been quiet for who knows how long.

“Thinking, I guess.” He breathes out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I don’t know why I took so long to say that. It sounded boring in my head, so I had to think if there was something else I forgot about.”

“That is pretty boring, just thinking. But that’s life, though, isn’t it? Kind of boring sometimes.”

Jungkook nods, blushing and avoiding looking at her. What if she can read minds? He straightens his posture and runs his fingers through his hair again, his eyes fixed on the ceiling of carved-out stars. It’s OK. It’s OK. She’s still here.

The living room is almost dead silent. Jungkook notices how Rei sips her tea and looks over the area. It’s neat, for the most part. Bam’s toys lay scattered near the laundry room entrance, along with some of Jungkook’s dirty socks the dog likes to chew on, and Bam’s food bowls are resting up against the wall beside his doghouse. The potted plants Namjoon gifted Jungkook are still alive and pop against the beige coloring of the walls in front of them. The TV is massive, his Playstation console resting on its side. Her eyes find the corner shelf where Jungkook’s Marvel figurines are on display behind glass doors, and she turns to look at him with a sparkle in her wide eyes. “Are those yours?” She gestures with her thumb. He nods, chewing his lower lip anxiously. “Can I look?” She rises from her seat when he motions for her to go on. Like standing in a museum, she silently peers into the display with her hands clasped behind her back.

“I just got that case a few days ago when I got that plant next to you,” Jungkook remarks, joining her.

“I remember,” she says distractedly.

“You remember?” His eyebrows raise, and he looks at her fixedly, bringing a fingernail to his mouth. He scrunches his eyebrows, rubbing at his forehead with his fingers; he remembers, too.

He’d bumped into Rei on his way upstairs, both arms holding the bonsai trees obstructing his view, taking long strides up the stairs, chanting to himself and grunting in rhythm. He was on the 50th stair.

“Hey!” A voice shouted at him. “What the hell?”

Jerking to the side of the staircase, flattening against it, Jungkook jumped at this voice. “Sorry! You’re okay?”

The voice struck him as familiar, but mostly, he was surprised he wasn't alone on the staircase. The person laughed a lively laugh, and he felt his chest tighten. He lowered the plants, meeting her eyes. “I’m okay,” she said, shaking her head. She grinned at him, and his heart gave a squeeze. “These things happen. I should take the elevator next time.”

“The plants, I mean. You walked past me going up the stairs and hit me on the head with it.” She glances to her right, catching his eyes briefly. He groans, nodding lightly. She continues, voicing their shared memory, “You were carrying two pots of plants that day and lost your balance or something like that.”

He nods with his eyes closed, his eyebrows drawn close together as he tongues his cheek. “I remember, too,” he opens his eyes to look over at her as he continues, “sorry again. My friend told me not to do that, and I didn’t listen.”

A Spiderman figurine holds her attention, and she’s smiling. He feels his cheeks burn at her sincere gesture. She pretends not to notice and says, “You like running into me like that, then?”

“Like how? It was an accident,” Jungkook says, standing beside her and stretching his arms behind his head.

“Riiiiight,” she says, smirking. “Accident.”

“I didn’t know you were in the stairwell. No one takes the stairs,” Jungkook counters, his voice taking on a defensive edge.

“I take the stairs, I like the exercise, and it’s less embarrassing for me,” She admits. “Running in front of people just looks so stupid. I get too worked up about it and think people are just laughing at me, and they might be, but this way, I can do it in private.”

“Running across the street when cars let you pass is very embarrassing for no reason,” Jungkook says with a laugh. “And okay, fair. I took the stairs that time just because the wait for the elevator was so long. I didn’t mean to hit you that time either.”

“Jungkook, we have to stop meeting like this.” She gives her head a light shake and looks down at her hands. She picks at the glitter on her nails distractedly. “So many accidents. We’re too clumsy.”

“I know what you mean. Namjoon told me to leave one of the plants in the lobby, but I was too impatient. I’m like that sometimes.” He can’t seem to stop blushing.

But Jungkook has to agree. There have been too many accidents in their run-ins with each other, and he remembers each encounter with extreme detail.

Jungkook saw her for the first time when he moved in and face-planted into her back as she stood by the entrance of the registration office. But it didn't happen right away, at least.

The office was big and bustling with sounds. Jungkook walked in, asked out loud if there was a line, and someone nearby replied that yes, there was a line, and he was right at the tail of it. He bounced on the heels of his feet, humming a melody to himself, tapping his fingers against the sides of his legs. A TV across from him played a K-Pop music video of a group he’d never heard of. Beneath the TV was a table with a Terra Kaffe espresso machine accompanied by a spread of dan-pat bbang, songpyeon, bingsu, and reusable cups. His stomach grumbled, but he kept still, willing himself to look away.

Rei stood in line, a foot or two in front of Jungkook, sporting her hair pulled back, secured neatly with a clip the shape of a butterfly. She wore casual clothing: a black long-sleeve sweatshirt, baggy pants, and white Nike shoes. She had earbuds in, and he could hear the muffled sounds of a guitar, and though he did not fully understand why, he smiled.

“Next in line, please,” a woman behind a glass window called out, taking an uninspired sip of her iced coffee as she waved a hand toward her. “Come on, next in line.”

Jungkook wore a black t-shirt, navy plaid bottoms, and socks with slides, though standing there, he began to regret his attire. His eyes looked over the office, and mentally, he tallied the number of girls he spotted. Nine. He felt his cheeks warming up, his neck growing hot, and when he looked over to his right, a girl waved at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He blushed, nodding at her. Why hadn’t he worn something nicer?

He was adjusting his sock, balancing on his right leg, when a dog ran past him, toppling him over. He hopped on his right leg, his arms flailing at his sides, and his face instantly smashed into Rei’s back. If he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn’t have cried out so loud. Even now, months later, he cringes at the memory. He’d turned away, cupping his aching nose after she whipped her head over her shoulder at the sudden impact. Their eyes met briefly, her pupils dark and wide; she mouthed something to him, his ears ringing, all of the sounds around him muddled into incoherence.

“I’m so sorry. Excuse me,” Jungkook mumbled, turning at his heel and speed-walking past a group of girls that giggled when he passed them.

Jungkook thought about her all day after that first day. While he unpacked, walked Bam, and cooked for himself later in the evening. She was pretty, sure, but there was something else. Something he couldn’t break apart and understand— it was new and brought on a strange sensation and desire to know her. He didn't know it then, but he’d see so much of her it would become nearly impossible not to think of her.

And here they are, five months later.

“You agree, don't you?” Rei prods. “Maybe you’re the clumsy one, Jungkook. I was just standing there.” She says that like she knows what he’s thinking. That first day they saw each other. She’s thought of it too.

He swoons at the sound of his name escaping her lips again. “Jungkook,” he mouths, taking it in—not wanting to forget how it sounds when she says it.

She turns on her heel, returning to the couch and fetching her phone from between the cushions. Her backside faces Jungkook, and he shyly lowers his gaze when he catches a glimpse of her ass in shorts that do a poor job of hiding anything. “I’m impatient too, as you know now,” she offers, looking down at her phone, her face illuminated with the screen's glow. She reads something and has a serious look on her face. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”

He squints at the clock on the stove. 4:27. “Yeah, I guess so,” he replies, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Your figures are cool, by the way. They look like the real deal. Are they?”

He nods silently, tonguing his lip ring. Jungkook watches her with a gut-wrenching desire to step forward and take her face into his hands and kiss her.

“You’re a Marvel geek. I'm guessing,” she says, staring down at the ground. It’s like she’s suddenly shy. Her voice is quieter. “I like some of the movies. I saw the new Spider-man with my friends last week. I’m late, I know.”

“I have Disney plus,” Jungkook says, his eyes looking her over. “And I’m not trying to say anything like the ramen stuff, you know, all that stuff people say to each other recently to get together. It’s a real offer.”

Rei laughs, bringing a hand to cover her face. “So you don't want to get together?” She looks at him with a deep intensity in her eyes and smiles coyly, making Jungkook swallow hard.

“I said that, didn't I? That’s not what I meant. It’s just that nowadays, words have different meanings. Let me rephrase-”

She takes a step closer to him, and his chest feels ablaze. She’s so close he can smell the fragrance of her clothing much clearer than before. We use the same detergent.

“I’d like to come by sometime,” she says, her eyes lingering on his hands holding his cup, “for a movie, no ramen.” Now she smiles warmly and takes a step back.

She likes doing this to me. It’s torture.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? You seem nice. I don’t think you’d be a freak, right?”

“Right,” he says, nodding.

“I know we’re technically strangers, but you have a good vibe,” she says, shrugging. “I show up here so late, and you serve me tea. You’re a nice guy.”

“Am I?”

“I think so. Are you?” She quirks up an eyebrow, twitching her lips between a smile and a laugh.

Jungkook smiles at her. He feels his cheeks growing warm. “I am. I don’t know why I challenged you about it.”

“Because you like to flirt with me, I think,” she retorts, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I’m just a nice guy,” he says as he places his palms  against the kitchen counter for balance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh.” She glances at her phone screen, reading the time, and Jungkook does the same with the time on the kitchen stove. She's going to leave. I can feel it.

“I guess I should get going…”. Rei looks apologetic for some reason. A pink shade colors her cheeks, and she brings a hand to her forehead and lets out a deep breath as she says, “Kinda hot in here, no?”

Jungkook wants to tell her she doesn't have to go and that he doesn't want her to, but he only offers her a timid smile and looks away, nodding in agreement. “A little. I’ve been feeling it too,” he says, looking at her and catching her eyes.

Should I move now? Is it now? My move? Will she kiss me back?

Still, he brings his cup of tea to his lips as she stores her phone in the pocket of her hoodie, and she pauses as if remembering something. “And why is there a mattress outside?”

He’s drinking his tea and begins to choke. Coughing, his chest on fire, and his throat closing in, Jungkook rushes to double over his sink, and she’s standing behind him with a wrought-up look.

“Are you okay?” She steps closer to him, lightly touching his arm.

Jungkook coughs, clearing his throat; he can feel the blood rushing to his face as his eyes instinctively shed tears. The feeling of her touch on his arm feels like fire. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened. The uh, the mattress?” He looks toward his patio, a panicked look in his eyes behind the tear-stained glasses. He pauses, looking down at the floor. “I have them all over, so I can nap when I feel like it.”

She throws her head back and laughs, not taking him seriously until silence hangs between them. She raises an eyebrow. “Wait, really?” With that, her phone goes off in her pocket, and she reaches for it. “Sorry, one sec.”

He leaves her to talk on the phone with whoever and walks over to pick up Bam’s toys and dirty socks to throw in a hamper. Jungkook can hear the muffled phone conversation a room over, so he hums a song. She speaks in a hushed voice, but he hears his name mentioned.

He coughs before he reappears in the kitchen.

She’s humming to herself, lingering by the door, and his heart squeezes. ‘Don’t go,’ he wants to say. ‘Stay.’

“I should go…” she says, not budging from where she stands, chewing her lower lip, looking at Jungkook through full eyelashes. Almost as if waiting for him to interject, and him, not knowing how to.

“If you want,” Jungkook says. He swallows hard at a lump in his throat. The plead to have her stay pushed down into his chest.

DAMN!! 

A look he can’t decipher takes over her face, and then the next moment, she’s smiling at him, reaching for the doorknob just as he does. They share an embarrassed exchange of looks when their hands touch, and he shakes his head, an anxious chuckle escaping him. His face feels warm as he pulls the door open for her. Rei steps out into the hallway, turns over her shoulder, and raises her hand to wave at him slowly.

Again, he yearns to kiss her and again lacks the courage.

“Bye, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook.”

“Goodnight, Rei,” he replies, leaning on the doorframe, his heart sinking into his stomach.

The next day, Jungkook is cooking for himself. He submitted his comic in the morning and has endlessly replayed last night’s events in his head.

“I should’ve kissed her,” he says to Bam.

Jungkook’s phone pings a few times and is followed by a call. He answers, distracted as he serves himself bibimmyeon and pork belly. He props the phone between his chin and ear, tilting his head comically as he walks back and forward to the table, setting down a steaming bowl of sticky rice. “‘Ey, Namjoon-hyung!…” He drags the chair out from underneath and settles in front of his plate. Jungkook reaches over the table, yanks a paper towel, grabs his chopsticks, and begins digging into the rice. “Wait,” he glances at the clock on the wall. 6:47. “It’s almost seven,” Jungkook says, confused. “Your meeting with the record executive started at six… it ended that quickly?”

Namjoon smiles. “The meeting was quick. I have really good news.” He pauses for effect. He’s in the studio, eyeing the email on screen. “Hold on,” he says, placing the phone on the desk and turning the speaker on.

 Jungkook is chewing his cheek, the chopsticks loosening in his grip. He lets the silence exist for a few seconds, then he rubs the back of his hair, leaning back in his chair, his spare hand fisted over his mouth. “What?” He grumbles into his fist.

“He liked my demo. He had some comments about it but said it would do well. He said everyone else liked it; whatever that means, we’re in. He said we can come in for a group meeting where we introduce the guys, and that way, we can all talk about what we want to do going forward.”

Jungkook is speechless; they’re in. All seven of them. He can’t believe it. He stares wide-eyed at Bam, who tilts his head quizzically. “No way. No way. Is this for real?” Jungkook’s heart is thudding so hard he can see it beneath his shirt.

“I swear, Jungkook. It is.”

“Do the guys know?” Once more, Jungkook meets the eyes of his dog, and he’s smiling so hard he feels his nose scrunch.

“Some of them do, yeah. I was with Jimin earlier.”

“Yoongi,” Jungkook says, bringing his palm over his forehead. Smiling with his eyes crinkling, he feeds himself rice. “Yoongi will be so happy. We all are, you know but him .” Jungkook makes a sound with his teeth. “He’ll be so proud of all of us.”

“I know, I know. Yoongi hasn’t slept well since we first submitted our demos, and when I mentioned I had a meeting with an executive, he grabbed his jacket and took off to the studio. I don’t know what he’s been doing when he comes in, but I know he might cry.”

“I might cry too,” Jungkook admits in a hushed voice.

Namjoon wipes at his eyes, and a silence hangs between them. They’re both sniveling on the receiving end. After Jungkook clears his throat and allows himself another sniffle, he starts eating again.

“What did you make?”

“I have a lot of rice left. I made bibimmyeon and pork belly, but I have some noodles, too, if you want me to make them. Come and eat with me if you’re free. Let’s celebrate.”

“Can I leave my bike outside?” Namjoon asks. Namjoon shuts off the shared laptop in the studio, grabs his puffer jacket and the book he’s been reading, heads over, and flips off the light switch. His phone remains on speaker as he locks the door and shoots a glance down the hallway. From a distance, Yoongi does a quick two-finger salute in passing. Namjoon’s heart gives a squeeze.

Jungkook thinks it over. He’s never seen anyone leave a bike outside. “I don't know, honestly. Bring it to my apartment; it’ll be fine. I have something to tell you, by the way,” he says, referring to the previous night.

“Just saw Yoongi,” Namjoon says, jingling the keys on his finger and making his way out of the building. “I have to tell him, but I think he’s already in his studio locked up. You know how he gets.”

“He won’t let you in,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose and stifling a laugh through a mouthful of steak.

“Exactly. And what is it? I’m bringing my bike, I thought about leaving it chained, but it’ll stress me out.”

“He’s almost done with his demos, Hobi said the other day,” Jungkook replies. “But it’s about her, bro. You won’t believe me.”

Namjoon laughs through the phone. “Mystery-neighbor-crush her, you mean?”

“Neighbor stuff, am I that annoying? Don't answer that. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you; just come in because I have to wash Bam.”

“All right, bro, give me twenty, and I’ll be there.”

Jungkook is sitting across from Namjoon, who raises an eyebrow at him as he chews on his steak. “So she came in here,” he swallows his bite and continues, “was on that couch?” he signals with his chopsticks, “and she went home after that?”

Jungkook nods. The moment he’s been dreading: admitting he chickened out. He’s not proud of himself and debates whether to omit a few things.

“Yeah, what else could’ve happened?” He takes a drink of his water, avoiding Namjoon’s gaze.

“So many things, bro. But, the very least that should have happened is that you got her number or something like that. Did you ask?”

Jungkook is quiet. His cheeks are flushing with heat. He’s chuckling at himself, remembering how he clammed up around her.

“You just let her leave, right? She walked out, thanked you, and you probably made her a tea she didn't drink.” Namjoon is laughing when Jungkook groans and shakes a fist above his head. “Ah, Jungkook!”

“I know!” Jungkook shakes his head. “But I got a name. I got a name; that’s something, isn't it?”

“Well?”

“It’s Rei. I don’t know where she’s from and all that, but that name just suits her, doesn't it?”

“It does, it does. But come on, bro! This girl lives so close!  For starters, she stuck around. She could've just left after explaining herself. Instead, she sat down right where you’re sitting and stayed .” Namjoon feeds himself rice as he shakes his head and continues while he chews, “She looked at you the last time we evacuated; I saw her. And how many times have you bumped into her already? She probably thinks you’re out to get her.”

“I know. I kept thinking the same. I thought: ‘She could've left by now, but she hasn’t. I don’t know, hyung, I just froze. I just kept nodding; it was so stupid.” Jungkook closes his eyes and places his fingertips over his eyelids, shaking his head in lament.

“Not stupid, bro,” Namjoon offers, swallowing his bite. “I’ve seen her around too, and she’s really pretty, but it’s a weird sensation when she’s nearby; it’s like her beauty is different. I don't mean it like I want her now, nothing like that, but it sort of feels like I am stuck too. Like, what can I say right now?”

Jungkook nods, understanding the sentiment. “It knocks the wind out of me sometimes when I see her,” he says, reaching for a napkin. “I wanted to say so much more, but I couldn't. It was different being close to her like we were. This girl is killing me, Namjoon-hyung. You said she looked at me?”

Namjoon smiles warmly. “She did, at the evacuation a week ago. Was it a week now?” He wipes at his mouth and looks at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook nods at him. “Well, a week ago, I went out last and caught her looking your way. She had her hand like this,” he brings his hand up to shield his eyes against nothing, “and she was smiling. She didn't see me noticing.”

Jungkook scoots closer. He rests his chin on Namjoon’s knee, looking straight at him until he’s cross-eyed. “At me?” he asks, loving that this happened.

Namjoon shakes his leg free and takes a sip of his water. “I think she likes you. She was looking at you the same way I’ve seen you look at her,” Namjoon reaches for his phone, checks a text, and continues, “so she would’ve been into you. Did she flirt with you?”

Jungkook mulls it over. He doesn't want to read too much into it, but he thinks she did flirt. “I could be wrong, and I’d hate to be wrong,” he says, “but I feel like she was into me, like, actually into me, and I thought about kissing her. Would that have been too forward?”

“Hmm,” Namjoon says as he chews his food. “Maybe. I have to see you two in action, to say. I think you can trust your gut, and if you felt that way, maybe she was giving you those vibes on purpose, you know? Sometimes girls are so forward that it's confusing. Like, ‘am I reading this wrong?’ When the whole time there was only one way to read it.” He gives his head a light shake.

“She was talkative like Yoongi predicted.”

“Oh, was she now?” Namjoon looks surprised. “I sided with Jimin when he said she seemed shy and kind of mean. Not mean, but you know the mean look girls have that makes them look kind of cool?”

Jungkook nods with a mouthful of steak.

“That’s actually interesting that she was talkative. That’s good. I think you’d do bad to get with a shy chick again.”

Jungkook once dated a girl in high school he didn't know how to talk to, and when he meant to break things off, he’d just ignored her for the entire year. She was too shy, too quiet, too reserved. He was everything else but.

“I agree with you on that,” Jungkook says honestly. “Back to Rei, she’s even prettier up close, hyung. I thought I was in a dream, that sounds so cheesy, but it’s true.”

“It was, what, four in the morning?”

“Three. Close to four.”

“Exactly. I would think that's a dream too. Seems like it. Are you sure you’re not messing with me?” Namjoon elbows Jungkook lightly.

“I want her. Is that so pathetic?”

“A little bit,” Namjoon teases, bringing his thumb and pointer finger to a slight pinch. “Like this tiny little space right here is where you live.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes as he walks into the kitchen for a beer.

“Honestly, Jungkook, I think she likes you back. Pass me the rice. Want some of the steaks?” He shows Jungkook his bowl, and Jungkook accepts, opening his mouth to be fed. “You can feed yourself.”

“Ah,” Jungkook says, mouth agape. “Just one piece.”

Namjoon is feeding Jungkook rice when the doorbell rings. The two exchange bewildered looks, and Jungkook shuffles from the ground, sliding on the flooring with his socks as he peers through the peephole. He falls to the ground as if shot, crouching with a deathly look about him.

Namjoon shifts in his seat on the floor and, stretching his neck, asks Jungkook who it is. Over and over, quietly, he’s asking who’s at the door.

Jungkook doesn't answer until Namjoon stands. He shoots a hand up to grab Namjoon’s sleeve, motioning him to crouch beside him. Whispering, he says, “It’s Rei; what do I do?”

“Get up!”

“I can't. I can't. I don't know what she wants. What if she knows?”

“Knows what? Get up; I’m opening the door in 3, 2,...”

Jungkook stands. He can feel his heart beating viciously, and his hands are sweating. He glares at Namjoon, raising his hand and motioning for a cutthroat. “I’ll kill you,” he mouths as his friend walks away.

Jungkook peers into the peephole and sees her turning away. He pulls back the door quickly, causing her to turn around. She smiles, and he wants her all over again. His relaxed demeanor vanished. “Hey, what’s going on?” are his first words.

Rei laughs, and he can feel himself blushing. He drops his head when he remembers Namjoon is a witness.

“Hey, neighbor,” she says, smiling the same coy smile she lent him last night. She pulls a paper from her pocket, extends it to him, and says, “It’s an invite to my birthday party this weekend; if you don't have any plans, I thought it would be nice to hang out and see you again. I’ll have friends over, and of course, you can bring yours.”

A party? Wait, see me again?? “I will be there. This weekend. I’ll make an appearance.” He stops talking when she laughs. He can feel the blood boiling on his face. What the hell is going on with him? “Sorry, yes, I mean, thank you.” Jungkook can feel Namjoon’s burning gaze behind him—he can picture how his friend stifles a laugh into his fist.

“No problem. Who’s that?” She points inside the apartment.

Namjoon waves when Jungkook turns around to see him standing behind him, a smirk tugging at his lips. Jungkook widens his eyes at him, mouthing for him to stop laughing. Stepping aside for his friend’s introduction, Jungkook signals toward his friend with a swift movement of his hand. “Namjoon, this is Rei. Rei, this is Namjoon, a good friend and gifter of bonsai trees.”

“I’ve seen you, no?” she talks to Namjoon, who nods, flexing his pointer finger, indicating that she has. He’s chewing cheese puffs, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow at him, silently questioning him: ‘Where did you get those?’ His stare says.

“At the evacuation, I was there.”

“Ah, yes, you had bright green hair like a highlighter pen then.”

He laughs. “That was me, yeah! You were with that girl, the…one with the red hair in pigtails.”

“Ah. That’s right! You have a good memory.” She sounds impressed.

Jungkook tongues his cheek, shaking his head beside them unnoticed.

“You too, you too. Cheese puff?” Namjoon offers a bag of cheese puffs.

“You’re tempting me, but I will have to decline. I just had lunch.”

“Your friend, the one with the pigtails, will she be at this party?”

Namjoon is nervous, but he plays it off well. Only Jungkook can tell.

“I think she can be there,” Rei replies, her eyes shifty and full lips pursing. She seems to think it over, anxiously looking at Jungkook and chewing on her lower lip. It’s as though she’s waiting for Jungkook to glance her way. Only Namjoon is seeing this.

Jungkook is annoyed. They’re talking so easily. He shifts uncomfortably, his fingers gripping the door. He watches how Namjoon chuckles and how she timidly looks down at her hands. The glittery nail polish made his heart feel like a stone in his chest. He wants to interject. But how?

“I’m sure the guys will be free this weekend too; we might celebrate our little accomplishment here sometime soon, so Jungkook can tell you about that and invite you when the time comes, right, Jungkook?”

Jungkook only nods. That’s all he seems to be capable of when she’s around. He feels so strange around her. He feels the same way each time, like he’s coming down with something suddenly. Didn’t it just get so hot out here with the door open like this? He wonders. Is anyone else sweating?

Their voices continue around him. He nods a few times when the conversation shifts toward him, but he feels lightheaded. He wants her so badly.

He doesn’t mean to, but he clears his throat, turning the conversation around him to a simmer.

“So, Jungkook, Namjoon told me he’d come this weekend and bring your other friends. There’s a theme, by the way.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “It’s fairytale-themed!” She raises her arms above her head like a big reveal and holds her pose, awaiting their reaction.

Namjoon laughs, turning away; he says: “I’ll give it good thought! Thank you for the invite, Rei!”

“And you?” She looks at Jungkook.

“Me?” Jungkook swallows hard at a lump in his throat. His brain seems to forget how to form sentences when she’s around.

“Yes, you. Do you have any ideas, JK?” she smiles, lopsided.

Is she flirting with me? Here? Namjoon-hyung! Come back!

“I have to rewatch all of my favorite fairytale movies to have an idea,” he says, bringing a hand to his head. He feels the heat emitting from his forehead. “I’m kidding. I think something cool like Dracula.”

“Is that a fairytale?” She laughs.

“Define a fairytale. Isn’t it just make-believe?”

“You don’t think vampires are real?” She raises an eyebrow at him, but he can tell she’s intentionally giving him a hard time. Her smile is surfacing and betraying her.

“I do, actually. Ah, okay. Give me time. I’ll think of something. What about you? Who are you going as?”

She pretends to think it over even though she already has an idea. “I won’t say; you’ll have to see.”

He’s fully leaning against the doorframe, his foot slipping under him, and he almost falls over. He mutters something to himself, and she’s biting back a laugh. “You want tea or something before you go? If you’re not busy.”

“Ah, I want to say yes, but my friends are upstairs; I just stopped by real quick but thank you.”

He nods. “That’s okay, next time.”

“I’ll catch you two later,” she says, waving.

She turns to walk away, and Jungkook doesn't know what takes over him, but he shouts after her: “Thank you!”

He’s too embarrassed to see if she turns around. He closes the door immediately.

He doesn't even want to look at Namjoon. He stands facing the door for a while, his head hanging low, eyebrows scrunched up in physical anguish. He chews his lip and winces at himself, remembering.

“I said that out loud,” Jungkook says, incredulous with himself.

“You said that out loud,” Namjoon reiterates from somewhere in the room.

Sighing, Jungkook turns over, and flinches at a grape Namjoon tosses at him. His nose scrunching, he catches another grape mid-air and chews noisily. “She wants to know me properly,” he says, with a dreamy air.

“So be her prince charming,” Namjoon jokes, plopping down on his couch, busy on his phone.

“So I will be,” Jungkook says, tilting his head back to look up at his ceiling. She’s up there, walking around, talking to her friends, and he’s beneath her, dreaming of the weekend. “What day is it?”

“Wednesday.”

“Let’s go; I need an outfit.”

“Now?”

“Now, get up! Get up!”

“Let me finish my grapes; I just washed them,” Namjoon whines, still not glancing from his phone’s screen.

“Okay, but after, we’ll go.” Jungkook walks into his room, grabs his glasses, and steps back out.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Jungkook nods, biting the corner of his lip distractedly. “Oh, I’m serious.” He reaches for the car keys on the table beside him. “I’ve never been more serious.”

And he is. He’s never been more serious about anything else. He wants Rei, but he wants her to want him, too. He can’t help but feel as though his luck is turning out.

taglist: @vsualitae​

A/N: thank you for being here! I hope those that looked forward to the full first chapter have enjoyed this! It's my first lengthy fic, as I've already stated, so any feedback is greatly appreciated! reblogs, comments, and anything that lets me know you've enjoyed this will make me the happiest writer :') I appreciate you for giving my work a shot <3 Let me know if you'd like a second part, what you liked, etc. I'd love to hear from you, reader >.< until next time!!

[coraniaid]

Very (very) slowly carrying on with my Buffy rewatch.

I really like Fear Itself. I think it's probably the best of the show's three Halloween episodes. Maybe not one of the truly top tier Buffy episodes, but certainly a very fun and solid one.

I'd completely forgotten about the scene Buffy shares with her mom while getting her costume prepared for the party. In my memory Joyce really isn't in this season much at all. It's a really nice shared moment too, of the sort I wish we'd seen a bit more often. (Although it's not clear to me exactly when Joyce is meant to have found out that Ted was a robot. When did Buffy tell her, and why?) And canon confirmation that Joyce has friends other than the late and unlamented Pat!

Anya is a fun addition to the group, even if you have to do some mental gymnastics to reconcile this version of the character with the very different version we saw in a handful of episodes last season. Still, this version is charming enough that I don't really mind doing that ("Xander is in trouble! We've got to do something right now! Aren't you listening? Xander is trapped!" she says to Giles by way of introduction, only to respond to his question "Where are Buffy and the others?" with a wonderfully uninterested "Oh, they're trapped too, but we've got to save Xander!").

It's nice to finally get some real character development for Oz -- seeing his fear of losing control of his werewolf side and of hurting Willow -- though it's made more than a little bittersweet by the knowledge that this is all in service of writing him out of the show forever in just a couple more episodes' time.

Also lots of foreshadowing for Willow's later character development ("I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else.  It’s not that hard!") and indeed for the wider theme of the season itself (with Buffy and Willow's argument and Xander's fear that he's becoming invisible to his friends). It's easy to get distracted by how goofy and underbaked the Initiative arc is this season, but there actually really is quite a lot of good season-long characterisation going on here.

Who knew that opening a new bus lane in Dublin could cause so much supernatural trouble?

If I could change one thing about this episode, I'd have Buffy confronted by a vision of Angel/Angelus when trapped in the basement, rather than some random frat guy (and we know the show was still doing lots of crossovers at this point, so I feel it could have happened). You'd need to change barely any dialogue, but I think it would add a lot to lines like "They ran away from you; they always will. Open your heart to someone and ..." or "No matter how hard you fight, you just end up in the same place. I don't know why you bother". (I mean, obviously Buffy's angst re:Parker is already meant to not just solely be about Parker, but why not make this even more obvious?)

I feel I've been very dimissive of the show's lighter episodes recently (well, of Something Blue in particular), so it's rather nice to be reminded that the show actually can be pretty funny when it wants to be.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tags @iboatedhere @bonheur-cafe @alrightbuckaroo & @welcometololaland 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Nine!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

48,025

3. What fandoms do you write for

911 Lonestar

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Make Me Laugh 'till I Die, I Stand Beside You With Pride - TK and Carlos discuss TK’s special relationship with Owen, and how previous boyfriends have been intimidated by it

getting past the wounds of love - Paul-centric fic for @guardian-angle22! Carlos attends his first 126 hang, Paul, TK & Marj go crate digging

Sunshine On My Body, Rainbows Bloomin' In My Skies - Tarlos goes hiking!!

TK Strand’s Sweet 16 (times 2) (minus 2) - TK’s 30th birthday party!! The Reyes family throws him a double sweet 16 party, the first family party since the loss of Gabriel.

Why Do You Think I Ran - TK & Carlos have a vulnerable conversation about the beginning of their relationship the night after Owen calls with his Huntingtons results.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Always!! First, because I am so appreciative that anybody takes the time to read my stuff. But I know it’s only like one in every few hundred reader that bothers to leave a comment so why wouldn’t I return that energy with a response?

Second, I am first and foremost a reader. I put a lot of energy into writing thoughtful comments. So I know how nice it is to get a reply!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t know if it’s angsty, per say, but maybe All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive because they’re discussing the ways they’re grieving and remembering their lost parents.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They’re all happy endings, generally. But maybe Call Me If You Get Lost because they’re in a hot tub and they’re bouts to get it on *sings Marvin Gaye*

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Very PG-R-rated so far

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t but I have a couple ideas for using the plot lines of another show.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not plagiarized but I had someone take the plot idea of one of my fics. Doesn’t feel good, folks!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t, but I beta read which is definitely a collaboration

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Tarlos

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want to finish TK Strand’s day off (@carlos-in-glasses 👀)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, description and characterization. Also background for side characters.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Coming up with plots to go around the 1-2 scenes I’ve written 😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love incorporating Spanish as much as I can. If I’m not 100% sure I’ll have a friend who is fluent read it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

911 Lonestar!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tie!

Call Me If You Get Lost This one got a pretty low engagement, which was really disappointing for me because I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. It’s a whole, complete story with a beginning, a climax and and end. Its funny and heartfelt, and I think the characterizations are really well done. Basically Nancy tells TK she’s going on a romantic weekend by herself, it was a trip she’d booked at an estate in Hill Country with her ex for their anniversary before they broke up. TK is worried she’s having a crisis and forces Carlos to go to the estate so they can “be there for her,” but instead they catch Nancy in an awkward position with Mateo.

TK Strand’s Sweet 16 (times 2) (minus 2) this one was so much fun to write! It’s funny and sweet, there’s a lot of side plots going on with different characters. It not only shows us TK through Carlos’s eyes, and how much Carlos loves him and is completely in awe of him, but how TK gently cares for Carlos and has cemented his place in the Reyes family and helped hold them together through this loss. Also it’s the introduction of my Tía Lucy. The response to this one was really really lovely 💕

I’m knee-deep in a move right now so I’m not sure who’s already gone but tagging @chicgeekgirl89 @ladytessa74 @tarlosmalec @ithilien-writes @carlos-in-glasses @rosedavid @herefortarlos @freneticfloetry @thebumblecee @wandering-night19 @sanjuwrites @your-catfish-friend @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @liminalmemories21 @never-blooms @ambiguouspenny & @theghostofashton and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[darkstarofchaos]

For the ask thingy... I have a feeling I might know some of the answer to this, but here's a two-fer. Take your pick (or answer both if you're in the mood): - OpStar -OpFire

OpStar: Don't ship it.

Why don’t you ship it?

Well, for starters, there's Optimus laughing at the idea of Megatron doing horrible things to Starscream. Bit off-putting, that.

More generally, Optimus has a... morality thing. Specifically, his own view on morality, which he pushes onto anyone in his vicinity. Which, y'know. Starscream is a villain, you kinda have to redeem him if the ship is actually going to work, right? Or file off his rough edges and make him Secretly A Good Person Actually, or a generally good person/helpless victim who just needs to See The Light.

Two problems with this: first, I prefer corruption arcs. Let Starscream bring people to the Dark Side, darn it. And second, Optimus does not practice what he preaches. One might even call him a hypocrite. Case in point, mind control is Evil when the Bad Guys do it, but he was perfectly happy to try controlling the Constructicons - and through them, Devastator - in The Core. And if mind control is an acceptable approach to turning people to your side, what does that mean for the ex-Decepticon you're looking to bed? I wouldn't trust any canon Optimus to treat Starscream with legitimate kindness, save for Armada Optimus. Because he actually did that. And maybe EarthSpark, but we only have a couple lines of dialogue to go on so far, so I'll reserve judgement there.

(Note of clarification, most of my Optimus Problems apply to G1 versions of the character. I actually kind of like other Optimii. Still don't ship him with Starscream, though).

As for Starscream, he's not going to do a 180 and suddenly be a loyal and obedient follower just because he gets some praise once in a while (if he does, that's incredibly unhealthy and he shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who could very easily take advantage of him). Starscream has opinions and ideas. And when he sees someone doing something stupid, he's going to call them on it. But Optimus does what Optimus thinks best, and if Starscream thinks differently, they are going to fight. And Optimus isn't going to listen to him, because he doesn't listen. Doubly so if Starscream's opinion can be construed as immoral.

Tl;dr: they would be horrible together.

2. What would have made you like it?

I think TFP is the only place where they would have had a chance with me, so... Maybe if Optimus had tried to reach out to Starscream after Arcee chased him off? But the irony is, if Optimus was the kind of person who could be trusted with Starscream's well-being, he would also recognize that his status as a powerful authority figure makes him someone Starscream shouldn't be in a relationship with. So it still wouldn't work.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

It's fun when they argue. Which has nothing to do with them as a pairing, I just enjoy when their dynamic is ruthlessly antagonistic.

-

OpFire (just gonna lump Jetfire in with Skyfire): Don't ship it.

Why don’t you ship it?

I ship Skyfire with one (1) person. Irrationally uncomfortable seeing him with someone else. OTP in the purest sense of the term.

Optimus is not that one person.

2. What would have made you like it?

Might need to rewire my brain, tbh. First, I'd need to be comfortable shipping Skyfire with someone else. Second, I would need to like Optimus enough to ship him with anyone. Third, they would need to have enough in common that I could ship them specifically.

Impossible task, I would say.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I had a roommate a few years ago who really liked anime, so I decided Armada would be a good way to introduce them to Transformers. They came away with a few ships, including Optimus/Jetfire. And they decided the ship name was Flying Fish, because of how the pair's combined form looks.

So that's a fun little story.

[once-upon-an-animation]

A rant about Reyna’s love life situation in ToA…

So I just read the Tyrant’s Tomb and uhhh…I see why people have such mixed feelings about what happened with Reyna. Here are my thoughts (w/ spoilers of course).

- First of all, that whole Lester/Reyna pseudo love story thing was so…weird? Like, I understood the point of getting Reyna to reflect on dating, but like, did she really need a bizarre romantic subplot with Lester to achieve that? The whole incident w/ Venus felt like it only existed solely for the sake of this moment with Reyna, seeing as it was first introduced in this same book, and will likely be forgotten about afterwards. As a result, the whole thing seems so random with no buildup whatsoever. I think there are better ways to introduce Reyna’s interest in taking on celibacy and joining the Hunters than this pile of weirdness with Lester/Apollo.

- Second of all, a lot of Reyna’s dialogue concerning her love life sounded like Rick Riordan just inserting himself into the story, and it was extremely cringey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it was OOC for Reyna to say these things, but the language choices made it clear that RR was just using the character to voice his own thoughts (I literally cringed when he used the word “ship” unironically in her speech to Lester/Apollo near the end of the book. Nobody talks like this.) We have never seen any of the kids at New Rome actually mention Reyna’s love life in any of the books as far as I remember (let me know if I’m wrong). So this problem she has with other people “shipping” her doesn’t seem real in-universe and feels like it’s being brought up to address the fandom specifically and sort of…scold(?) them for shipping Reyna with other characters.

In addition, I don’t like it when authors use their characters as a disguise for their own thoughts. It ruins the integrity of the character and the story. If you have something to say to the fandom, just say it instead of hiding behind your character.

- Third, I find the line where Reyna says “Why do healthy friendships have to progress into romance” (or something like that) in response to Lester/Apollo asking her if she’s dating Thalia to be really hypocritical. Romance is a very major theme in RR’s books and he has a knack for pairing up as many characters as possible, even characters who don’t really need to be a relationship/whose romances could have worked just as well as a friendship. This line Reyna says about not every friendship needing to be a romance could apply to almost every couple in this franchise.

I give Percabeth, Frazel, SilenaxBeckendorf, and EmmiexJo a pass, because romance genuinely complements their stories, but as far as other ships goes, I actually think their romances were unnecessary/poorly executed/could’ve worked just as well as a friendship. ChrisxClarisse definitely didn’t need to be a thing; Clarisse doesn’t even give off romance vibes anyway and Chris stops existing after TLO. Grover and Juniper are cute, but nothing would change if their relationship didn’t exist. Jasper/Jiper might have genuinely been better as friends. Caleo ABSOLUTELY didn’t need to happen; I personally believe romance was NOT the best resolution for Leo’s arc. I give props to Nico and Will for being the first gay ship, but again, RR should not be using romance as a bandaid for emotional conflicts. Nico should learn to maintain healthy friendships first before jumping into romance. TysonxElla did not need to happen for any reason at all. A lot of the hinted pairings in The Hidden Oracle (Miranda & Sherman, Chiara x Damien, Valentina x Paolo) didn’t need to exist either. These are all side characters whose romances have little to no impact, and who would lose nothing if they were all just friends. Same for Lavinia x Poison Oak.

As you can see, RR loves to pair people up together. And most of these pairings are straight/straight-passing. But Reyna maybe liking girls is where he finally draws the line, and decides that romance doesn’t need to happen all the time? Seriously? Like don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to finally have a character in this franchise who chooses to be happily single, and I know that Thalia has not expressed any interest in women (neither has Reyna, tbh), but like…still. RR has been gung-ho about romance everywhere else, even with characters where it literally didn’t matter. Why did he draw the line here?

All of this also makes me wonder if Piper/Shel became a thing just to placate disappointed fans who wanted to see a major character in a wlw relationship. I remember RR’s tweet where he was like “I didn’t want to make Reyna like girls because it would seem like girls only like girls if things don’t work out with boys”. This is a nice sentiment, but it becomes questionable when you realize that what he tried to avoid with Reyna is basically what he did with Piper? And to make matters worse, Shel is such a non-character. She exists for a few pages at the very end of the final series, has no canon personality or physical appearance (as far as I remember), and she’s so unimportant, she doesn’t even have a last name! Her only purpose in the story is to show us that Piper likes girls, which is so lame! Why not give a wlw between two fully fleshed out characters instead of this last-minute romance between a major character and a character who’s just a device?

- Lastly, I’m really tired of RR shoving the female characters that he doesn’t want to pair up into vows of celibacy (Rachel, Thalia, and now Reyna). In fact, this happens with the male characters too, where they are either dating (Percy, Grover, Tyson, Leo, Nico, Will, Frank, Jason) or they’re dead (Luke, Octavian, Jason).

Reyna was so close to being the first major character who didn’t fall into this pattern and then it was ruined. There are many options that people can have for their love lives beyond dating or mandatory celibacy, Richard Riordan, and these options are not that hard to write/explore even in a book aimed at preteens. The characters could easily say that they’re not interested in romance at the moment and may become interested at a later point, that they’re interested but are waiting for a person that they truly want to date, that they’re working on friendships right now, that they’re focused on other things right now, etc. Not everyone needs to be paired up, but not everyone needs to take on a vow of celibacy either. Characters are allowed to just be single, no explanations given. There are so many things Reyna could do besides being a Hunter. She could go to school, travel the world, do something similar to Emmie and Jo where she creates a safe haven for others, maybe even a safe haven for abused girls such as a herself. Becoming a Hunter is not the only option here.

Sorry for the length of this rant, and sorry if this post sounds hyper-critical of Rick. I’m just not impressed with the way Reyna’s love life was handled, and how she explained it using dialogue that was essentially just Rick Riordan talking. Very weird.

[randomfandomblabdom]

I have so many issues with the Anastasia musical...

It seems to me that the writers put certain moments in the musical simply because moments like that happened in the movie but instead of comprehending why those moments worked in the first place, they made what they most likely assumed would be small insignificant changes that only ended up fucking with the narrative as a whole.

One of the best examples of this is Dimitri and Anya's dance lesson during Learn to Do It. This takes place far too early in the show for it to mean anything substantial. The dance lesson happens at a very specific point in the film and has an equally specific purpose narratively. It is only after a time jump montage during Learn to Do It where it's implied Anya, Dimitri, and Vlad spend anywhere from several days to several weeks traveling together, that Dimitri and Anya's dynamic naturally shifts into something warmer than what it was several scenes ago. You, as the audience, do not question this shift because you know, subconsciously, that they've been spending a lot of time together and have developed a deeper relationship and possible romantic feelings for each other as a result. It's given its due time to make sure you as well as the characters understand that. The musical has no deeper meaning or realization attached to it as the two characters haven't spent a substantial amount of time together where those subconscious blanks would be filled in for you. Trust me, I understand that time jumps can be difficult to do convincingly in a stage production but this is live theater, you need to get creative about these things... or move Learn to Do It further back in the show. Yes, there's a line of dialogue that implies that it's been at least a couple of days but that's harder to grasp when there are no visuals to support it. It feels like Learn to Do It happens over the course of several hours. Instead of two people who have been traveling together for implied days/weeks and have become friends realizing their feelings towards each other may have shifted into more romantic territory, it feels like acquaintances realizing they merely find the other person attractive or perhaps not as bad as they thought. The musical takes all of the build-up and context and mashes it into one number that doesn't end up working the way I think the writers thought it would. I wouldn't mind the dance being so early on if Dimitri and Anya were given any other moment of realization that was allowed to breathe. And don't say In a Crowd of Thousands...

Speaking of, I love that song. It's gorgeous. It's become one of my favorite Broadway love songs of all time, I've been listening to it non-stop for the past week. Does that mean I'm peachy about the changes that were made just because it's connected to a pretty song? Hell no. I have sooooo many problems with that scene as a whole. I'm not gonna waste my time talking about the changed backstory, I'm sure that and how it completely diluted the story has been discussed at length and I'm fully aware that changes must be made when transferring media from one medium to another - animated movie musical to live stage production in this case - but these changes are just absurd to me. Dimitri literally just told Anya to essentially make up her side of his story as if she truly was the princess Anastasia riding by in that parade all those years ago. His bowing could very easily be something she just made up on the spot and convinced herself it was a real memory, Dimitri's reaction to it would be enough to tell her it was. They've been trying to convince her she is Anastasia, she may be just convincing herself things she learned actually happened to her at this point. Not to mention, yes, Dimitri didn't tell her that detail of the story but of course, a commoner would bow to royalty, how does that prove anything to him? It doesn't help that he just told her his side of the story which could easily influence her line of thinking. In the film, not only is Anya's memory of the boy opening a wall something she couldn't have guessed or made up even if she tried, proving beyond all doubt to Dimitri that she's the real deal but the subject of the princess's possible survival is not something that has come up before as evidenced by Vlad and Dimitri's nervous reactions when Sophie (Lily) asks that question. Nothing is influencing her thinking there. The whole interaction in the stage production makes it seem like Dimitri just suddenly falls in love with her because he just found out she's the princess when the film makes it abundantly clear that he is so far gone for her long before that information comes to light, their romantic tension fuels the dramatic tension once that's revealed. Both adaptations have an almost kiss and unfortunately, only one of these adaptations puts it before that revelation. In the film, it follows the dance lesson sequence. In the musical, it’s placed directly after that big revelation and it just feels… kinda wrong.

I think I'm gonna stop there. I have so many thoughts written out that I could probably write a multi-page essay on this and maybe I'll make a full post on it but I needed to get at least some of my thoughts out before my head exploded and those are some of the things that were most prominently sitting on the tip of my tongue. I could go on for hours about how the music box was entirely misused, the total misunderstanding of the song Once Upon a December, how the Empress's choice given to Anya towards the end is almost explicitly about Dimitri instead of how it's explicitly about her granddaughter's happiness in the film, and don't even get me started on how Anya realizing she's Anastasia at the same time as Dimitri kinda fucks with the last 15-30 minutes of the story...

It's all so disappointing honestly because this musical had all the groundwork to become a phenomenal show - good songs, a good story, a good romantic duo, fans who grew up with the film - and, in the right hands, I truly think it could've become a Best Musical winner but instead, it turned out to feel like an amateur production on a Broadway stage with two really likable lead actors that had really good chemistry together and ended up doing most of the legwork for getting people to look over the fact that it wasn't nearly as good as it could've been. In all honesty, I did not realize how tightly written the film is until I started picking apart the musical and now I think the film is one of the best-written animated films in Western media.

This isn't meant to bash anyone who enjoys the musical. You don't have to agree with me. I do genuinely enjoy parts of the show and think it did certain things well. Christy Altomare and Derek Klena were absolutely perfect casting, I like some of the added songs, Journey to the Past happening when they get to Paris and Meant to Be happening before the ballet are outstanding placements for both songs, the costume design was more or less gorgeous, and I do think excluding all of the supernatural aspects was the right call...etc. but those are just some of my scrambled thoughts on why I have such an issue with the writing in this show.

[dainesanddaffodils]

Friends, Romans, Countrymen. I did it. 

I rewatched Strange Magic late last night on a whim.

It’s been, as far as I can determine, at least four years since I had last seen this movie. Probably closer to five. It’s been. A Minute. And I was so horribly worried that I would find all of its faults far more glaring than I had when it first consumed my life back in 2015. That I wouldn’t find the magic in it the way I did before. 

I was both right and wrong. 

I did, indeed, find some things more flawed, to the point of genuinely cringing in a couple places. However, I also came out remembering exactly why this movie captivated me for as long as it did.

I’m going to ramble in more detail about both things, if you’re so inclined to read more.

Things I found as bad or worse this time around:

The pacing. Dear lord, the pacing of this movie is a fucking trainwreck. I knew it the first time I watched it and it was the one critique I would always agree with. It’s just, it’s so bad. I can’t even tell you how I’d fix it but it just. It needs an overhaul please. 

Like, in my memory it was just the first half that was paced poorly. Once you got into the second half, things improved. 

My memory was wrong. It’s a mess the whole way through.

Tragically, Griselda. I always found her character a little grating but at least sort of endearing...  but it has. gotten worse. The matchmaking was only good in providing the backdrop for Bog and Marianne to rant about how much they hate romance but every other scene with it made me feel like Bog must. I lowkey wanted to put my head through a wall. 

Plum, too, was a little more annoying than I remembered. In general the whole “Love is Strange” scene is probably the one I struggled with the most on this rewatch. 

The kaleidoscope bit at the end. Which again, I was always kinda... unsure about but like, everything else about the ending is so good and then that just really. throws the whole groove off and it’s sad. 

Also, I wouldn’t necessarily call it bad but like, all of Bog’s scenes in the first half of the movie are so melodramatic and I know that’s the point but I was still like ‘christ my dude we get it you’re ~evil~ now please chill for five seconds’ 

- and that’s really it. All told, while these were definitely more noticeable faults upon watching this movie again, I don’t think they were enough to truly hamper my enjoyment of the rest of it.

Speaking of...

Things I found as good or better this time around: 

Marianne. My beloved punk rock fairy princess. I absolutely adore how three-dimensional she is as a character. They give her the whole badass makeover training sequence and then spend the rest of the movie showing you its cracks. Showing you that she never fully outgrew the romantic she was at heart. She was just scared of letting people see that side of her after being hurt. She’s bitter and angry and touch-starved and sympathetic and caring and she’s allowed to be all of these things and none of them contradict each other. 

Marianne and Dawn’s relationship. Holy shit I forgot how good that was. We see only glimpses of it but every single one of them is perfection and so realistic. This is how sisters behave. They drive each other crazy and point out each other’s faults and make each other want to tear their hair out and if anyone hurt them there would be hell to pay. All of their conversations feel so... grounded in reality for a fairy rock opera musical. 

On that note, a lot of the dialogue is just, well delivered and sounds incredibly natural. It took me by surprise. 

Sunny! Sunny also surprised me with how much I liked him. His humor is one of the things that has aged the best in this movie and I really enjoyed his character. You can really see how he is a good guy who was just, very easily manipulated and spends the rest of the movie trying to fix his fuck-up. 

The singing. Similar to my point about line delivery, the... way the characters sing in this movie is really well done. I don’t know how to explain it but the way they use songs in this movie really feels like they’re using it as dialogue. Like, there’s plenty of meta jokes about people breaking into song but it also feels like it’s a natural part of this world. People just sing their feelings here, and it feels believable. It’s fascinating. 

 The animation - specifically the character animation. (Like, the movie has gorgeous background shots, we all know this.) I won’t deny that the detail in the faces gets uncanny valley in places but it’s worth it for the expressiveness that it allows. There are so many incredible face journeys, so many subtle shifts in body language, so much that gets to be said without words - either spoken or sung - and it’s just as good as I remember it.

Speaking of things that are just as good as I remember. Yeah, you guessed it. 

Bog and Marianne’s relationship is still just, top fucking tier. 

Like, it goes back to what I said about expressiveness in the animation. I remembered the big things about these two. I remembered the sword fight flirting; I remembered the ranting about hating love together; I remembered the declaration of love at the end set to “Wild Thing” which perfectly encapsulated their personalities. 

I had forgotten how much of their relationship is progressed through small gestures and lingering looks. Things like Bog leaving his staff behind after their fight, and later returning her sword to her - both shows of trust and respect that Marianne is clearly unused to. Things like the way he looks at her throughout the entire “Strange Magic” sequence as he shows her his home and hopes she’ll find beauty in it. Things like the whole face journey she goes through when it’s revealed he survived his castle collapsing, realizing that she loves him. Things like how you can see on their faces that they’re constantly torn between hope and absolute terror at their growing feelings for each other. 

All of these things are done wordlessly and it’s very well done.

(also man, having re-read a bunch of my fics ahead of this I was kind of like ‘wow a through-line throughout all of this is Bog being just, like, absolutely whipped by Marianne from the start’ and friends, upon rewatch it hit me that that was not just some romance novel tropes sneaking into fic - I took that shit straight from the source. My goblin man really was enamored with her INSTANTLY. It was fucking hilarious.)

- 

Anyway, thanks for coming along with me for this journey. I came out of it just kind of accepting, yeah, this is not what I would call a Good Movie. But it gave me so many things that I loved, and still love, and really, that’s what matters. 

Also now I wanna fucking draw fanart again. That’s wild. 

[afairytalestray]

So last week I saw the UK/Int tour of Cats in Switzerland and oh. My. GOD. I have thoughts and I am going to share them right now! I have vaguely attempted to keep them organised by timeline/character but I scribbled these down at the intermission and on the bus back to my hotel as quickly as I could before I forgot anything (fully made myself travel sick but it was worth it).

Act 1

First thing I noticed was that Demeter, at the start, was so shy and skittish around the other Cats. I think they were definitely playing into the idea that she had just escaped Macavity and come home. The only one she was ok with right away was Bombalurina. They two were so sweet together – Bomba was always making sure she was ok. Dem got really into her role in the Gumbie trio and was having a great old time.

TumbleBailey got to ride on the flying trapeze during JSFJC and he was living his best life. The boy was not happy unless he was gymnastic-ing.

The lift that Munkustrap and Victoria did in ‘98 was done by Coricopat and Tantomile which I thought was fun! Always happy for my boy to get more screen time 💪

Side note: This is my third time seeing Cats, but because of Covid it was my first time getting to see the Cats all come in down the aisles at the start wearing the green goggles! I was in the front row, so I didn’t get the full effect, but it was still cool.

Tugger’s song was so much fun. Harrison Wilde was so energetic! During the number he came down off the stage into the audience (again the first time I got to see this!), and began twirling the security lady and dancing with her. 11/10. Bomba was SO PUT OUT when he said “no” and booped her away – like, she was raging, it was so funny. Munk was so annoyed the whole time. Peak big brother energy.

I got the impression almost right away that Jennyanydots is Cori and Tanto’s mum, they were interacting quite a lot and she was always looking after them. Ditto with Skimbleshanks and Jemima - he was definitely her dad - he was so protective of her when Grizabella showed up, it was adorable! I hadn’t considered that relationship before (despite my love of Skimbledad), so it was super fun.

This Misto does not like rice pudding, this is not a drill! The face he pulled during that line in Bustopher Jones was hilarious, he looked so disgusted. Misto was definitely more of an adult than he was in ‘98 or the Broadway Revival. Liam Mower is a bloody FANTASTIC dancer; I couldn’t take my eyes off him! He was clearly loving life and I appreciated every moment.

This production said Casslonzo RIGHTS and we love to see it. They kept on snuggling up to each other when they were in the background and you can bet your ass I noticed EVERY TIME. We stan a power couple of protectors. Alonzo’s actor Sebastian Goffin's voice was so deep and I was LIVING. Like I was not expecting this voice to come out of this man. Twas brilliant. Cassandra was so beautiful I nearly cried like ma’am PLEASE HAVE MERCY. She was definitely an obvious protector with how she was always looking out for the other Cats. Also during the first song she was lying right in front of me and I had to try so hard not to explode.

Old Deuteronomy was such a loving dad to everyone, he had such a warm vibe and energy and I just wanted to hug him! Like all of these Cats were his babies and he adored them all. He and Jerrie and Teazer had a wee “oh, you”/slightly nervous giggling moment when they had just come back on stage after getting busted in their number and it was excellent.

Cori and Tanto were definitely portrayed as younger than they were in ‘98. Cori in particular reminded me of Misto from ‘98; like an adult and everything, but a young one who still had a bit of kittenish energy. Their wigs were pleated up the sides which I thought was unique and cool, I don’t think I’ve seen Cats wigs like that before! Cori was so pissed when Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer ran under his and Tanto’s arms during the back-and-forth dialogue-y bit of the Jellicle Ball and interrupted them. He enjoyed hissing a lot which I can respect. Nothing but love for my hissy prince. I actually think Milan was covered by a swing on my night. There wasn’t anything saying so, but I don’t think it was Milan? Idk, it could’ve just been the lights or my position. Either way, loved her. This tour gave the twins so many characteristics unique to it and they will definitely affect my headcanons from now on.

RETURN OF THE SKIMBLETABLE.

Ok but every time Grizabella showed up, Munk genuinely looked like he wanted to/was about to cry, which I thought was an awesome bit of character work. I really got the impression that she was his mum, and she had abandoned him when she left the tribe. Russell Dickson was trying to make me feel things and he succeeded, I was so invested in his performance.

Also, during the ball, he was sitting just below Old Doots on his tyre who was patting his shoulders. A WHOLE DAD AND HIS BOY.

Jemima’s actress Lottie Stephens was also a fantastic dancer who was leaning just on the edge of cryptid and I loved it.

Plato spent a lot of time trying to look like a very distinguished boy and it was so cute. He definitely still had some kittenish moments though. He wass definitely learning to be a protector; every time there was a protector moment on stage he was there, just to the side or behind the others, looking nervous but wanting to make Munk and co. proud.

Act 2

OK OK OK Moments of Happiness? Not usually my favourite song of the show, but there were two excellent moments of personal happiness for me. First, Shakeel’s Cori slinked right over in front of my seat and I became even more unhinged than before, to the surprise of probably 0 people. But SECOND was omg, so Demeter and Munk were sitting a bit apart at the front of the stage and the atmosphere and chemistry between them was literally off the charts. Dem had become more comfy around most of the other Cats throughout Act 1, but here she was acting really nervous and shy. So the two of them locked eyes for a moment and it was EVERYTHING. Like I cannot describe in a human language what they made me feel at that moment but it was SO MANY. Dem almost immediately looked away all shy like, but Munk kept looking at her until the end of the song in the most softest beautiful way. Like omg the acting was SO GOOD and I’m still not normal about it. Like you could tell both of them really liked each other but were too nervous to do anything about it and inside I was screeching infinitely.

Jellylorum my Queen. Aimee Hodnett was actually mind blowing I was totally enraptured. Her expressions and vocals were outstanding. When Old Doots said to Gus “you could do it again” before Pekes and Polls her face was like ‘exsqueeze me sir what are you doing? Desist immediately!’ But then she got involved and it was great.

I really enjoyed that Gus and Munk shared the narration of Pekes and Polls. Gus’ actor Hal Fowler was so expressive and dramatic and everyone was loving it and laughing along with him, and Munk still got his stressed-theatre-director moment.

TumbleBailey was super put out when Gus had his “youths today” lines, like, he proper turned around, folded his arms, and sulked. He was a whole baby and it was precious. PounceBucketty looked a bit more maturely cowed (he was definitelythe big brother of the two), but Cori was actually DEVO’D. Like my boy was so hurt, he needed a big hug from Tanto before Skimble’s song started. Tbh my reaction to Shakeel’s acting throughout the show was practically feral. On the outside I was calm, but inside it was like Guy Fawkes Night, Christmas, and Hogmanay all rolled into one.

Both Cori and Jerrie seemed to be close pals with Tugger – Cori even got a Tugger hug at one point. Shakeel’s Cori is very cuddly and I love it with all my soul. He doesn’t seem to like Jerrie all that much though, which is hilarious to me as a dedicated Coricojerrie stan. Good thing enemies to lovers is a popular trope amirite 👀

Jerrie has so much respect for Skimble it was so sweet. He was really active all throughout his song, helping him out and pointing out when others weren’t doing what they should be (the irony) during the “hilarity and riot” lines. Top notch stuff. He was also the bottom step of the Skimblestairs at the end of the song.

He definitely has respect for Alonzo as well, he was always on his best behaviour when Lonz was nearby. I loved these little character relationship decisions SO MUCH, like you could tell the actors had put a lot of thought into their characters and that they truly cared about the show.

Bomba was in the background for parts of Skimbleshanks, but she started making flexing motions at the “weak or strong” line and Tugger was next to her ooh-ing and ahh-ing appropriately. It sparked so much joy y’all I love her forever.

SPEAKING OF BOMBA HYPE – Macavity. Omg the song slapped! Dem was super spooked, but Bomba? She was absolutely ripping the piss out of Macavity and I loved every second. Not a single facial expression missed, every one clearly read: oh, you think you’re hot stuff? You’ve got NOTHING YOU LOSER. She was so smirky and sassy, almost like she was challenging him to come and have a go.

Macavity Fight was A++ 5 gold stars stuff. Demeter has a moment when “Old Doots” comes back, and it was great how at first everyone was like, “girl wtf get a grip,” only to be like OMG MACAVITY when my Queen rips into him. Mac starts to drag Dem away and then Munk starts to batter him. The fight was super dramatic and gripping, and when Munk went down he went down HARD. But then we got this magical moment when the whole tribe was like “NOT TODAY SATAN” and started fighting back together, and I feel like this production made more out of this moment than others do. Of course it wrecked me, because I am weak. (Also the Cat standing over Munk and protecting him was my angel Cori so I was delighted by that.) After that, Dem and Munk said Demestrap supremacy and the image was so magical of them nuzzling in the light of the single lamp when everything else was dark, it was *chef's kiss*.

So like, I was never sure why I wasn’t the biggest fan of the new Quaxo look for this tour, but now I think it’s because it’s just a bit too different from the Mistoffelees costume? Like I know Jenny also has a really dramatic costume change, but that change happens on stage and we see her transform. But for Misto, this change happens off-stage and we don’t get to see it, so it just seems a bit less smooth of a transition. I know Mistoffelees is kinda like the stage persona of Quaxo, but I guess I prefer it when they’re clearly the same Cat. I presume this was intentional but, and you’re supposed to be like, omg is that really him? But idk, just not my personal fave.

Having said that, IT WAS STILL LITERALLY THE BEST PART OF THE SHOW FOR ME. Because I’m Misto trash so I guess it doesn’t matter. I really liked that they made it a Tugger solo again, I like that a bit better than the duet. Everyone was appropriately surprised and awed at the magic, but it obviously was not new information to Tugger, who was standing there like, “oh, haven’t you heard?”. And the only word for his expression when the dance solo started was adoration, it was so lovely how enamoured he was. And the slow lines when Tugger addresses Old D were so soft and loving and I die. So my hc for this production is that they were close friends up till this point (and Tugger is the only one who knew about the magic), and this is when Tugger realises, oh, I LIKE like him. May write a thing around this later because I am predictable and basic and easily pleased. Also Cass was so nervous about being Misto’s chosen assistant – she wasn’t even volunteering when he picked her! It was such a cute moment.

Then there was more Casslonzo lounging in the background when Grizzy showed up again. Ok so all throughout the show I was worried about Memory, because Jacinta White started really strong in Act 1, and she did again with her big solo and I was like, oh no this is going to fizzle where can it go from here? I have never been happier to be a fool and a jester. That woman has some set of pipes I was blown away. Think my jaw might have literally dropped.

The bows were fab, but especially TumbleBailey. He came out last as usual and did his flippy flips across the stage, but then he decided to do an extra backwards one, and I don't think it was planned as he nearly kicked Jacinta and Martin (Doots) in the face and they looked surprised. Either that or they're really good actors! Everyone was fine though, and they were laughing about it.

But yeah. So glad I splurged on my Swiss weekend and saw this show. Worth it.

FIN

[jess-the-vampire]

As someone involved in the star vs fandom it does kinda weird me out in terms of hunter and willow that ppl are making the “Can’t guys and girls just be friends” thing? 

Like i have had that argument before, but it only really applies to very specific situations for me, like either a romance either feeling forced between the characters just to force one, or the show is extremely bad at presenting m/f friendships.

With star vs, and anyone who knows me knows how much i hated the romance subplot, that show had a nasty habit or just....making every single m/f friendship (That didn’t involve ponyhead but the fans didn’t care about her much anyway) romantically implied in some way or another?

star and marco

tom and star

kelly and marco

marco and jacke

Star and Oskar

janna and marco (Janna bullies him but also flirts in some scenes)

Marco and Hekapoo (But that’s a whole thing in itself)

Tom and Janna technically were one of the few that really didn’t have any explicit implications and even then they’re a popular crackship and the only reason they probably interacted in the show was because they were a popular crackship before that point.

Like Star vs is a flawed show and it has a lot of good from it i do still enjoy, but that show fails to really showcase healthy M/F friendships that either don’t turn romantic, have implications, or are actually healthy.

Even those you could argue for are ones with very little to work off of.

and there’s lines of dialogue even IN the show that seem to push this idea males and females can’t be friends, even if purely on accident. You’ll have scenes like jackie and marco be friends (Before the show ends so it doesn’t mean much), followed by tom telling star “She should date a best friend and she already has one”, unintentionally implying some pretty negative stuff. (Because she had ponyhead and in the beginning of the show she considered both her and marco to be her “Best friends” but tom ain’t implying she is somehow an opponent, so it comes off like it’s because he’s a guy and also feels unintentionally homophobic as a result).

even star and marco, the main friendship/ship in the series, failed to work for it’s own fans, for a multitude of reasons and bad writing that i can’t get into everything because we’d be here all day. But for a lot of people that relationship not only became toxic, but forced, as if the writers were trying to make you like it instead of making it feel natural as time went on.

And you can feel free to disagree on this with me, but i feel this is a far better example of “Why can’t girls and boys be friends?” then something like toh.

Toh doesn’t force every single guy and gal into some implied romance, the show is chock full of platonic friendships between girls and guys luz, willow and amity are friends with gus (more luz and willow), you have hooty and lilith become pals, hunter and luz are pretty strictly platonic in the show (Tho fans who ship them for fun are allowed to do so)...

even side friendships, steve and Lilith, viney with jerbo and barkus, hunter with both viney and skara, ect ect.

and most of these friendships are shown in extremely positive lights (Excluding ones such as bria with her two guy buds) without a ton of unhealthy implications.

These shows are not the same sure, and you could say it has a lot to do with star prioritizing the shipping over the plot and trying to cater to every ship over it’s own story, but the point i wanna make here is that i think it’s weird as hell to claim hunter and willow is “Taking away from male and female friendships” in a series that doesn’t even have many m/f onscreen romances to begin with?

Pretty much all M/F couples in toh are like....side couples who don’t get much in terms of screentime, outside of alador and odalia (And we see how that went down).

Like maybe if we’re lucky we’ll get something for caleb and his witch lover in s3 or possible future content (Maybe even camila and luz’s dad?), but willow and hunter are the only real prominent romance between a girl and boy on this show?

So this whole argument feels silly to me.

You can def not personally care for them to have a romance, but the idea that this show is pushing the idea “Men and woman can’t be friends” is not only wrong, but extremely strange for a series where they are the only prime example of a healthy one in the show.

Because i have seen shows who do this poorly, and i think it should come up when appropriate, and not simply because you personally just don’t like m/f romances or want them.

F/m romances can still be good ones when well written, and huntlow as a ship is still representation and clearly makes some people feel very seen.

We absolutely could benefit from m/f friendships who don’t turn romantic in more shows and movies, but toh is not really doing much of that and this criticism should not apply to them.

Because if they were pushing that idea, this show would probably not be as good as it is.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Alright since no one even knows what they look like here’s MY Hound Wolf Squad headcanons including images of how they look in the fucking game so y’all can stop being dumbasses now <3

Rolando Elba aka Umber Eyes

I like the hc that he was one of the original Elite Eleven that first founded the BSAA. He’s old enough, he’s Chris’ right-hand man in 8 and they seem to go back. Also I never see people bring up the Elite Eleven or even speculate as to who those people were, so I’m claiming Rolando as one of them

I like dad characters so he’s a dad to me

I also like him and Emily being friends. They have one dialogue interaction in 8 that I like. Also just a big fan of friendships between older mentor figures and newbies

He’s a sniper (duh) since that’s his main weapon in the game

John Perlman aka Lobo

He’s the one with the line about “been a while since we fought together, captain. When was it last? The desert?” so he was on the Mojave mission during Heavenly Island good for him

Again that line also suggests a history with Chris

He’s the large weapons expert (that’s just canon lol he operates that explosive thing in Chris’ part of the game)

I like to believe that he didn’t get that scar from field work, it was something in his personal life like a motorcycle accident

Charlie Graham aka Night Howl

If you’ve been following me for a while you know my extensive headcanons about Charlie for my Graham Siblings AU, but since that’s so fucking long I’m gonna say other hcs

He’s both the comms expert on the team and a scientist (he was with Chris at the outpost in Moreau’s lair and he says all of the scientific observations of the mutamycete during Chris’ campaign)

He’s former Navy

He’s friends with Dion and Emily since they’re the three on the younger side in this team. Also Charlie and Emily have cute winky face stickers on their battery packs in game and that just makes me smile

Dion Wilson aka Canine

Side note I don’t know who on the wiki switched up Canine and Night Howl’s code names but you are my enemy. It’s IN THE GAME who is who. Anyway

Dion is the youngest on the team but not by much, he’s also more fresh-faces and fun but he’s definitely not a rookie

He’s former Air Force since he’s the pilot of the Osprey at the very end

He’s also really good at stealth, considering he killed the B.O.W. soldier at the end without blowing up its head or chest and thus I’m assuming it was a stealth maneuver that took it out

Besties with Charlie, again based on in-game dialogue

Emily Berkhoff aka Tundra

She’s not a designated recon agent, but she is the best at recon so she’s the one who does it

Lesbian. Obviously. If you know @jewishevelinebaker ‘s “Shame Though What They Made” series that I love where Emily and Zoe are a couple you should know that I like that hc

I don’t like the “former DEA” thing on her concept sheet and like there’s nothing in game to suggest that so I believe it isn’t canon

My hc for her past is that she’s former U.S. Army Special Forces

Like I said, good friends with Rolando in a kind of mentor/mentee sort of relationship

[rotschopf-thedrow]

That Dialogue Tag Game

Tagged by the wonderful @dandenbo <3

rules: pick up to 10 characters and share one of your favorite lines of dialogue you have ever written for them!

Major Daryl Coats in my opcoming Kaidan Alenko / Major Coats story "The loneliest Hour":

“I lost my sister and my best friend during the battle of the Citadel,” Coats said softly, taking all fight out of Kaidan. “My sister was one of the navigators of the SSV Madrid. My best friend was a scientist assigned to the SSV Jakarta. Trust me. I do know how you feel.”

2. Chris Shepard and Wrex discuss if the marines on board of the Normandy are paying attention.

Fredricks. Of course. He had seen him equip his omnitool earlier. Naturally, he would try to reduce Shepard’s ability to throw them around like ragdolls. “Good one, Fredricks. At least, one marine who pays attention.” Fredricks actually blushed. “Thank you, sir.” It was that little moment of distraction that Wrex needed to throw Fredricks off balance and put him on his ass. “Are you sure he’s paying attention, Shepard?” “Well, there’s always hope,” Shepard replied, lifting two crates and Williams into the air. “Pay attention!” he barked. “Look at Negulesco! She got the memo!” Everyone turned to look at Negulesco, who was taking cover behind one of the immovable targets. “They don’t learn, do they, Shepard?” “Only the hard way, Wrex,” Shepard returned softly, before he threw all four remaining marines into a barrier. “Dead. All of you.”

3. Chris Shepard and Kaidan Alenko discussion poper protocol. Side note: They have romantic history in that universe:

“Commander on deck!” Joker called when he spotted them, but he made no move to stand up. “At ease, everyone. You don’t need to spring to attention every time my ass is in sight,” he shot back, earning a few laughs and catcalls from the present crew. “Ah. While your ass is certainly attention-worthy, Commander, I don’t think saluting it would be, ah, proper protocol,” Kaidan said quietly enough for him to hear, but for his voice not to carry across the deck. Shepard stopped dead in his tracks, staring after Kaidan. “What the fuck, Alenko?” Kaidan smirked at him and went to the galley. “Careful, Commander. - I’ll have the pancakes. Biotic’s style,” he said to Miller, grinning when the mess sergeant handed him a plate with pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup. “Want some as well, Shepard?” he asked while nodding at Miller to prepare a second plate. “Why do you even ask?” Shepard retorted, sitting down at the mess table. “Because that’s proper protocol. And common curtesy.”

4. This is actually from a tiny scene I wrote for the Big Place server, and the line in question again comes from Major Coats:

“We found him, Kaidan,” Coats said without preamble, and Kaidan’s insides churned. Coats didn’t have to explain who they found. “He’s alive.” “What?” Kaidan looked the other man in the eye, looking for any kind of deceit he didn’t find because Coats was too decent a man to do that to him. “How?” “Hell if I know. Bloody bastard was even conscious and complained about the sun being too bright.” Kaidan choked on his laughter, mixed with tears, and he welcomed Coats’ one-armed embrace. “I’m going to kill him.” Coats snorted, before he pressed a soft kiss to Kaidan’s temple. “Vakarian said the same when he got the news.” “Figures. He can draw a number and get in line,” Kaidan replied.

5. EDI in The Pendulum.

“Jeff and I are in a monogamous relationship, so banging you against a shuttle isn’t a viable course of action.” Kaidan couldn’t help but stare at EDI with his mouth hanging open, and he was glad to see that Joker was just as flabbergasted. “That was a joke.”

6. Joker, a couple of paragraphs later

“You want me to make a ship-wide announcement or something?” Joker said, not even bothering to mask the sarcasm. “Kaidan is back. Everybody: come to the bridge and cram yourself into a tight space because Kaidan’s back!”

Anyone who hasn't been tagged yet? XD @westernlarch, @ficbrish, @briarch, @mallaidhsomo, @clericofshadows, @monowires

[frostypoppy]

opinions on blossutch,,, thoughts, headcanons, or maybe you hate it now idk.

This is going to be a long post because there are so, so, so, so many thoughts I have on Blossutch. I think about them, at least, once a day, to keep me sane.

Blossom has always been my favorite puff. There's something about A-Type characters and me, we just jam together. Butch, on the other hand, grew on me so freaking much when writing and expanding on what his character can be. He's a crackle of energy and lives in the moment and is kind of all over the place, but he just wants to make whatever he's doing fun for himself and those around him. The dude is observant and better at understanding people than you may think.

This is kind of where I like to find their balance. Butch brings a needed spontaneous nature into Blossom's by-the-books life. She helps him want to get organized, or at least, motivates him to figure shit out and have a direction to whatever he pleases. She thinks analytically, he thinks with emotions; they see both sides of things and learn together. Blossom, let's face it, is a perfectionist, it's her fatal flaw, but Butch is a person who's okay with failing and trying again. Seeing that from the person she admires dearly, eases her fears and it's what allows her to feel the most comfortable with Butch. Blossom is the one person who takes Butch seriously when no one has, and he's pretty sure she's the first person to ever turn to him for advice or acknowledge his intellect. He's loud and obnoxious and outgoing, he's absolutely ridiculous to be with, but he's also the person Blossom has laughed the hardest with and why she's more willing to put herself out there and open up to people. And with Blossom, Butch finds the beauty of what can be said in the silence.

As far as head canons:

Growing up, Blossom didn't think much of Butch other than twitchy ruff, and for Butch, she was girl Brick. They don't really interact beyond puff/ruff feuding and school bump-ins, until later in high school when they're assigned as lab partners and from it, a budding friendship into best friends that doesn't take a turn until their mid-twenties.

Blossom is the big spoon. Always.

They're the kind of couple whose favorite thing is just to be with each other. They could be waiting at the DMV for hours, or suffering from food poisoning, but if it's together, it was the best day. This also makes them the worst couple to invite places. Because if you invite one, you best believe the other will be there, and they kind of will do their own thing. This isn't a diss or intentional, it's just they have the most fun when with each other.

Shouldn't be surprising, but they are THAT couple when it comes to PDA. Butch is a touchy, puppy dog kind of a guy, and Blossom has come to understand and accept his need for physical touch. Besides, he's hot and she's allowed to make out with him whenever she so pleases.

They are terrible sleepers. Butch has too much energy to get more than two-three hours if he's lucky. Blossom, either overworks herself or her mind overthinks. This leads to them having a lot of late-night hang-outs/dates at the start of things, and when they do move in together, they find it a bit easier to sleep until an acceptable five to six hours.

They have the worst taste in media consumption. Their watchlist consists solely of whatever is ranked low on IMDb, and probably the reason that one shitty show you swear no one watches got renewed. The same goes for Blossom's choice in non-academic reading. Any of those terrible romantasy books you've heard about, she's torn through it with highlighted passages and colored sticky tabs on all the cringy dialogue/plot holes/questionable smut. She rants to Butch about them often, and sometimes, he'll quote something to see if she notices (primarily the spicy stuff). 97% of the time she catches it, and 3% of the time she's embarrassed a line worked on her.

Butch buys her flowers every other week just before the last bouquet is about to die.

Butch is and will always be ACAB, and he is strongly against any superhero organization. He gets Blossom and her sisters are genuinely trying to make a difference and help people, but superheroing sometimes involves collaborating with cops. Unless there's an attempt of assault or murder, Butch won't get involved even if it's happening right in front of them. This tends to be their biggest disagreement because Blossom understands his personal grievances and she agrees to a point with him, but she does wish he'd helped out when a robbery or monster attack derailed their date night.

Before they even got together, they were relationship people. Blossom's past ones were known to have at least a two-year minimum, and Butch had a hard time entertaining anything if he wasn't committed due to his quickness of boredom.

Blossom's humor is saltine-cracker dry and her jokes are often taken as rude because not a lot of people realize she's attempting a joke, they don't even think she's capable of telling one. But ask Butch, and he'll tell anyone willing to listen she's the funniest person he's ever met.

While I'm a color-crack shipper first, I do love other ships (brickercup, the blues, bubbles and/or boomer having a queer relationship with a normie), and I like to think of Blossutch as the constant. There has to be a time of wacky hijanks that lead to them and the others breaking into the multiverse later in life, and while their siblings are disgusted/perplexed by whoever is paired differently with them, Blossom and Butch are together in every alternative timeline they are shown.

Okay, okay. I think that's more than enough. Before I go, I wanted to say thank you for this ask. I've been putting off a Blossutch project I have planned for a summer release (hence why I think about them daily) and this definitely got the ol' brain working in the right direction. Hope this was something worth reading, lol.

[canmom]

a journal type post

i visited some of my grandparents today. I'll give their names, Jenny and Rick, since i doubt that's enough to be PII and it's hard to talk otherwise.

i haven't been able to see them in a long time, thanks to the pandemic. Rick is... likely pretty close to dying, and Jenny is also definitely struggling at this point.

of my four grandads (lots of divorcing and remarrying on both sides of the family) Rick was always the one that i had the hardest time with. he would be brusque and overbearing at the best of times, and cross lines at the worst, and the older i got i felt like he really stifled my granny, in their very traditional middle class marriage. but he's mellowed out a lot (both of them have really), and i found it much easier to spend time with him today, despite a ton of other stuff weighing on me.

we got to talking about books. it's funny, this is something I've never thought to connect with him on, even though he evidently reads a lot. he was very happy to tell me about his favourite authors, in a way that was so sweet and like. i honestly quickly lost a lot of that resentment i had felt towards him in the past. so i went home with my arms full of RF Delderfield and Barbara Erskine, and this prompted my granny to add on her favourites by Katherine Lynn Davis.

they're all historical novels of one sort or another, a long way outside my usual zone of literature. Delderfield writes about long duration social history revolving around the British people going through social change, his central character usually a young man returning from a war. at my age, my grandad had just left the RAF - i don't believe he fought in WWII, it might have been the period when National Service (conscription by another name...) was still in effect after the war and the UK geared itself up for the Cold War, but he stayed in for twelve years, apparently not enough to get a pension, leaving due to some kind of complications around a divorce that I didn't quite follow. he became a salesman - selling cardboard boxes I think? there's a lot I'm vague on. anyway, he's very fond of Delderfield, and it has something to do with Delderfield's prose, the particular feeling of Englishness it gives, but also the historical details - one of Delderfield's series charts the rise of motor transport in the UK, which I won't lie, I'm easily enough of a nerd to be curious about.

Erskine's books seem to follow a different template. just going by the blurbs, the general structure seems to be that a young woman in modern England is haunted by a connection to another woman a thousand years in the past, suffering under court politics or the witch trials or similar. so again, the theme of the past bearing on the present. Davis, i only have a couple of books so can't generalise, but this one's about three women from different parts of the world (Scotland, China and India) drawn together for a lot of high drama in the 1800s. the sequel seems to be about their descendants. it could be really cool or it could be awkwardly racist or it could be awkwardly racist but still interesting as an artefact of a time (...the late 80s), who knows. and this is all just... cursory examination of the blurbs.

all of these books are full-on doorstoppers. they're also... completely unknown to me, which is probably an indictment of how narrowly i tend to stick to my genre. not that there's a moral obligation to read widely, but it's good to be aware at least. anyway...

I kind of wear on my sleeve that my feelings about "Englishness" and "Britishness", the egregore, the entity that lays claim to me, are very negative. today I also watched an episode of the new BBC show about the founding of the SAS, with snappy action movie dialogue and expensive CGI and a pointedly anachronistic classic rock soundtrack, with the depressing feeling you get when you watch well executed propaganda. hard not to think about the release of this piece about the sacrifices of a roguish, brave, witty SAS coinciding with an ailing farce of a Conservative government and the death of the one (inexplicably) well-loved symbol of the British state, all that jazz. (coincidences - this had to have been in the works for some time - but still).

anyway. so... the idea of the spirit of the British people is liable to make me break out in a rash. don't tell me about that, tell me about the idea of "britishness" being replicated forcefully through history, imposed on successive generations, an eternal reproductive futurism motivating all manner of atrocity. so i feel like... if what people say about Delderfield is true, I might find it... challenging.

i am nevertheless curious about all three of these authors! not just a way to connect with my grandad in what could easily be his last year on this planet, though there... there is that. but also that social history angle... for all my bluster about how much I dislike this country, it's more that I dislike the idea of countries altogether, and having to belong to one. and on some level, a severe case of don't-lump-me-in-with-them-ism. knee-jerk anti-patriotism.

but reflexive loathing is no more revealing than comforting fantasies of national character. both of them assume a 'thing' into existence. finding loopholes to be like... well i like such and such British author but I have a defence of how they're acceptably critical of the country so it's ok, that's cheap.

what I do like is having at least some idea of how things got to be the way they are. I can't help being from here, so I could at least stand to understand 'here' a little better. around a decade ago, I walked back from Exeter's gender identity clinic with an older trans woman who could tell me when a bridge was made by looking at its materials. that's so neat that I still remember it! in the garden of the shared house in London where I rent a room was a stone disc with icons of the USSR on it. why was that there? the weight of the machine of history is overwhelming, Marx was right to call it a nightmare, but it is interesting. you can't just stop at 'this sucks'.

so if the ways of thinking that prevailed in the past were very different, they certainly aren't unrecognisable; it does no good to try to set myself above them and imagine I'm more enlightened. and like, that's just all my baggage anyway. i don't want to be unfair to any of these authors, and miss what my grandparents valued in them. (I'm too tired to look up Engels but I recall he had something interesting to say about a well written bourgeois novel.)

anyway, like i said, they're doorstoppers, and i still have like a third of Worth the Candle to read, so don't expect detailed comments for a little while. but it was eye opening in a way, it's too easy to remain blinkered in your little corner and box off the rest as something you'd have no interest in. i know where I'm at with sff and comics, but on some level i find the 'general fiction' shelves intimidating, with no idea where to start or the codes being deployed, and that's limiting. anyway I'll let you know what i think. eventually.

[xiv-wolfram]

I'm new to tumblr and looking to start my own visual stories. I stumbled upon yours through the suggestions and I am INVESTED. Raubae is a beautiful man and Wolfram and he are a beautiful couple!

Can you give a noob visual storyteller pointers on how to get started with their own comics?

OMG THANK YOU!!! 😭 I'm totally normal about them. I also want to apologize for Tumblr being a bit of a mess in terms of following the comics. Highly recommend the Carrd for chronological links.

As for comics - I'm far from an expert but I do see myself getting better with each one I make so hopefully some of this will help. 🤞

Read a bunch of different types of graphic novels. Pick the ones you like the most and pay attention to how they do things. I personally like lots of dialogue and character development, dramatic lighting, and focusing on facial expressions. Others focus on the action or scenery. Some a mix of both (which I'm working towards). Just find inspiration in what you love and let it help you find your style. 😁 Looking into how comics are made and what the different speech bubbles mean/text decoration/etc was helpful.

Use Clip Studio Paint or a program like it. Basically you want something that will let you cut out comic frames and add dialogue boxes easily. It really streamlines the workflow.

Write out "scripts" before GPosing. I know some folks who can freestyle but for me scripts with minor stage direction and dialogue have helped a lot. I have a different numbered line for each GPose I need to take too.

Everyone does plot/characterization differently. IDK if you were curious about that but I personally focus my plot around 3 main storylines - WolfBahn relationship arc, Wolfram's voidsent problem/past trauma, and MSQ. These plotlines overlap A LOT and come to a head in Endwalker. A lot of folks focus on their OC (I of course do.) but its also nice to develop the NPCs in some way. Most of Raubahn's development comes from MSQ which makes that easy but I do take time to touch on some of the things MSQ doesn't cover heavily like his recovery after being rescued from Halatali or the toll fighting to liberate Ala Mhigo takes on him. So I guess I just think - stories are more engaging if you flesh out the NPCs a bit. That may be personal preference though...

Really know your characters. I've found answering WoLQoTDs helps a ton. Along those lines - a timeline of their major events. Mine includes Eorzean events like The Autumn War and Garlean invasion of Ala Mhigo so I can fit my character's story in with the greater world. Before starting the comics I had a summary of his story on his Carrd (it's down now though). I also made a family tree. Replaying cutscenes helps get me in the zone to write too. Knowing them really well makes the writing flow pretty effortlessly.

Spend the time to edit each screenshot. I didn't do enough of this starting out and regret it. Even just upping the sharpness makes a big difference. Highly reccomend hitting it with the dodge/burn if you have time. The images will be smaller than most gposes so zooming in or cropping closer can help show the fine details (another place CSP shines).

Make dialogue box text large enough so that the majority of users on mobile won't need to zoom in. What I've been doing is 50 in CSP.

This one I don't do - but I should. Have someone with good grammar who also actually enjoys your story go over your comic before you post it. Ideally over the script as well. They'll point out grammatical mistakes but also since they're fans they may have some cool character insights you hadn't thought of!

Don't be discouraged if you get less "likes" than you do for GPoses. I usually get way less. On the flip side I get more actual interaction with the comics. Nice convos. It's how I've met some of my best buddies! So it's a good trade-off IMO. Most important of all - it's FUN to tell stories!

I hope this was helpful. Feel free to DM if you have more specific questions/want to have a convo too. I'm always excited to see more GPose comics! :D

[byleranalysis]

You’re confidence is way to high to the point you’re getting cocky and using you’re said starting stages of a film degree for validation . End of the day you don’t know what’s going to happen everything you say is all heresy hence the word theory unproven facts and just thoughts.

How am I getting cocky when you are the one who actively went into my asks just to call my words heresy + state that I make theories? Especially when all I am advocating for is that the writer's due a decent job at LGBTQ+ representation and have Will + Mike end up together/analyze what could happen in S5?

To your assumption that my only experience is my film studies:

1. I have worked as a PA on a multitude of music videos + a couple television sets + a few pilots that never made it to air.

2. I am halfway through film-school. Correct. However, I have worked a variance of roles in a multitude of grad student films + undergrad films. I have also been a distribution producer for a few which had massive film festival runs/got one of the shorts bought.

3. I currently work/volunteer as a Director of Photography for a woman's shelter. My work is mainly documentary which includes telling the stories of these women in order to promote the safety and need for continuous government support of these facilities.

So yeah, I go to film school but I also have insight into the behind-the-scenes of how some of this stuff works. My analyses are never 100% fact. That's completely true, but to say that they don't provide ANY insight into what the crew were aiming for or subtextually implying, is just plain wrong. Please do not only see your opinion as fact as well. Thoughts are different than first-hand experience. Especially when in my video analyses, I almost word-for-word reference source material and not my own thoughts. Yes, they are analyses/theories, but they are based on very real basic film techniques.

I am not looking at a shot and saying --nor believe --"the green light here references s1 when Mike looked to the side for approx. 3 seconds.".

I notice basic moves and provide a description onto why a director + DP might land on choosing such in order to tell their narrative: "the camera pushes in, a move that can imply internal conflict or internal emotions of our characters + increase tension, conflict, or place emphasis on a specific object" or "The camera is the closest it has been to Will. What he says is incredibly important. His facial reactions are highlighted".

If that's getting "cocky" then so be it. It's literally the most basic description of camera movement. Looking into such does provide some insight into why a specific camera movement was chosen. For instance, before the script for Mike and Will's Episode 4 talk came out, I did an analysis on it. The script backed up what I wrote almost beat for beat.

Note, in this shot, Mike says the line "Best friends" which is underlined. Underlining in a script is used to show place emphasis on said dialogue.

...

So again, this analysis was done previous to the script being released. I don't listen to the audio when I do my analyses so that words do not impact how I view or interpret the camera movement.

So, to say my theories on the camera movement is just thoughts that cannot be taken seriously or give insight is a bit off-putting. While I don't think what I do is fact, I don't think analyzing or interpreting the camera movement to gain insight into S5 is a stretch.