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seospicybin · 10 months

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART I

Changbin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle masterlist

Synopsis: You and Changbin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14,5k words)

Author's note: I chose Changbin because it's cuffing season and now we got a reason to get a big boy, I want a big boy oh.... ifykyk

"Oh, this is so beautiful!" You sigh in amazement at the beautiful view of the beach.

You turn your head to the beautiful blond girl you're holding hands with, Sabine and it feels nice to be the first one to enter the villa with her.

"Oh, my Gosh!" She gasps, looking as amazed as you.

There are two small round tables with bottles of chilled wine inside the bucket of ice. Sabine takes one bottle and manages to pop it open without hassle.

You hurriedly take two champagne flutes and hold them as she pours the bubbly wine, she squeals as she almost overfills them.

"Cheers!" You both exclaim with your glasses clinking against each other.

Sabine gasps after taking a long sip and looks at you, "You're really pretty," she says.

Who doesn't like hearing a compliment especially when it comes from a beautiful person?

"You too," you say back with a cheeky smile.

"I see that you pierced your nipple," she says, easily spotting your pierced nipple through your blue bikini.

"Yes. I like them," you show her the piercings you have on both of your ears.

"That's really cool!"

"I did them myself," you proudly tell her.

Sabine gasps at that, "You're wild!"

Well, it's something you often hear people say about you, that you're wild and probably have been that way ever since you knew boys.

YOU: I'm the main character of my life, not a secondary one. I have a lot to give [winks] so bring me men, bring me women, bring me whatever. I hate rules and I do not follow them. I'm a little crazy [laughs] I'm not here to fall in love. I'm here to have fun.

"Wait, I'm picking up an accent here," you notice that Sabine is carrying an accent in the way she speaks.

She swallows her wine before saying, "I'm French."

"Oh, la la!" You playfully say with a nudge on her shoulder.

Sabine has that blue eyes that slowly drowns you in them and she knows how to use them as a form of seduction.

"Stop staring at me like that, you're so hot," you tell her while fanning yourself.

She laughs in satisfaction, "I got the feeling that you're open to anything."

You allow yourself to look at her small, heart-shaped face and her ski slope nose with a nose ring on the left nostril, there's no doubt that you can easily vibe with her.

"I am," you shortly confirm.

She gives you the eyes again and flashes you a flirty smile, "We're going to have so much fun then," she raises her glass for another toast.

If they leave you two alone for another minute, you're sure you would be kissing her already but fortunately, the next guest enters the villa.

"Okay, he's cute," Sabine comments while holding her glass close to her mouth.

First, this guy is so tall and he has that dirty blond hair that he keeps brushed to the back.

"Hello," he greets both of you with a bright smile.

He stands between the two of you to introduce himself, "I'm Oliver."

"I'm Sabine," she introduces herself as they exchange a quick hug.

As he turns to hug you, you hurriedly introduce yourself to him. You hand him a glass next and Sabine fills it for him.

"Where are you from?" Sabine asks.

"Guess where I'm from!" He dares you with a sly smile.

His distinct accent is not hard to guess, "Australia?"

"Yeah, but I've been living in the US," he adds, then takes a sip of his drink.

"My ex is Australian so I know," you mindlessly share.

That gets Oliver's head turned at you, "So, you're into Australians?"

"Sometimes, yeah," you give him a vague answer just to amuse him.

That seems to work wonderfully as he has his eyes on you until he realizes that he has another girl to pay attention to.

"You guys look gorgeous by the way," he says as he takes a step back just to check out the two of you.

"Oh, thank you!" Sabine says with a bashful smile.

"Anyway, what are you looking for in this show?" You ask him out of curiosity.

"I'm here to have a damn good time, honestly," he answers with a grin.

"Yes! Cheers to that!" Sabine says, initiating another toast by lifting her glass in the air.

YOU: They're so hot. I can definitely have a good threesome with them [laughs]

Changbin has no pressure whatsoever to be the last one to enter the villa.

He has so many things to offer more than just his looks. He's a confident man, he knows what he wants, and a great conversationist. A fair warning though, those good qualities are followed by a short fuse. Let's hope no one is having intentions to spark that fuse.

Changbin takes pride in being dominant but he balances it with his loyalty. He may be a casual dater but he never cheated on his partners or led them on when he has no interest in taking the relationship further.

In other words, whoever gets to be with him is lucky.

With the mindset that he owns this show already, Changbin steps into the villa, walking in confident strides that match his smoldering eyes.

If he thinks that he's it, then everyone would believe that he is it and Changbin feels like he owns this place already.

His presence demands attention and all eyes are on him, looking at him with eyes that are either curious or impressed.

"Hello there, big boy!" One of the girls greets him rather enthusiastically.

She introduces herself right away to him with a cheek kiss, "I'm Niamh."

"Changbin," he tells her his name and proceeds to introduce himself to the other guests.

All of the males are taller and more good-looking than him but he has all the girls' attention on him. See? It's not about looks, it's about how he carries himself.

"I'm just going to be honest, you're so my type," the other girl says to him.

"Yeah?" Changbin asks with a cocky smile.

"Yeah," she answers.

He believes her name is Riley and she is a gorgeous brunette with legs for days.

"Come over here then and have a drink with me," he says, leading her to the other table and popping a new bottle of champagne open.

CHANGBIN: I have a strong personality. I need someone to match me, I like them wild just so I can tame them [smiles] A look can say it all [flexes biceps] I put my whole body in the game so there's no reason to look at me and not want me right? [seductively smiles]

You didn't believe in love at first sight but today, when you saw those five guys walking into the villa, you fell in love five times in one day.

The last guy though, ooh, he exudes a strong aura, a charisma that you rarely find in men. Not to mention, he's big and muscular, you feel the urge to climb him like he was a tree.

Not wanting to make it obvious, you turn your body to the girl standing next to you, a Brazilian hottie, Rita.

"My god, he's delicious," you quietly whisper to her with an overwhelmed sigh.

Rita's eyes automatically search for the one you're talking about, "Who is?"

You glance at where he's standing, "Changbin."

"Who is Changbin?" She innocently asks.

You snicker in response and put your arm around her arm, it's convenient because she has a petite yet toned body.

"You're just one clueless baby, aren't you?"

For now, he's occupied by Riley as she keeps filling his glass with more wine but you can see that he's not that interested in her.

Frankly, you have more to offer to him.

YOU: Changbin... The things I want to do to that man. Ugh! [groans]

The first stop on the tour of the villa is the bedroom and everyone is excited at the number of beds in the room. There are ten of them and only six beds in the room, everyone has to pair up or they can choose to sleep alone on the bed.

Changbin has a plan to get himself a bed partner soon but he doesn't want to be hasty about it. He considers himself lucky that he's been getting the eyes from a couple of girls but he's curious about one girl and that's you.

Frankly, you're just as attractive as the others but you have this charm that inexplicably attracts him, making him want to get to know you more.

He sees you sitting at the end of a bed and decides to sit next to you.

"Where are you going to sleep?" He asks.

You lean back on the bed with your hands propped against the mattress, "I don't know," you answer with a cheeky smile.

"Where do you think should I sleep?" You ask him back with your eyes staring deeply into his eyes.

This level of confidence, not only that he likes it, Changbin feels the need to match it.

"On these big arms," he answers while showing off his big, toned arms.

Catching you ogling at them, he uses it to his advantage to let you touch him, "Want to touch it?"

"I wouldn't say no to that," you answer with a sly smile.

Changbin quickly pumps his arm for a while to present you with his glorious biceps, "You can touch them now," he says.

Your hand flies to feel his muscles, "Oh, wow, that's hard," you say in awe.

"Is that hard enough for you?"

You let out a chuckle, "For now, yeah."

"I can pump it again for you," he jokingly offers.

Your hand glides up his arm and rests it on his shoulder, "Or I can pump it for you next time," you make a lewd joke.

He has to admit that you know how to make him hot and bothered and he's not the type that easily gets hot and bothered.

CHANGBIN: I'm going to keep my options open but I got a head start so now I just have to maintain it.

"So girls, if you have to pick one right now without thinking too much, who would you pick?" Niamh asks with a thick Irish accent.

The girls are all gathered in the firepit to talk about the boys and which one of them they fancy. Sabine gets to be the first to reveal her answer, she turns her head to look at the boys who are hanging out in the cabana.

"I don't know... can I just let them pick me?" Sabine says with a giggle.

That's easy for her to say since she's the most popular girl in the retreat, you bet half of the boys are talking about her right now.

"How about you, Rita?"

Rita is busy playing with her hair to pay attention to the conversation going around the space, "What?"

She happens to sit next to you so you put your hand on her knee to keep her engaged, "Is there anyone you fancy?"

"Oh, I like Liam," she says.

Nico is dark and tall and has a gorgeous smile, you can see why Rita is attracted to him. They would make a cute pair with their height difference.

"Oh, yeah, Liam is one hella piece of chocolate," you nod in agreement.

Rita breaks into laughter at your words, "I bet he'll melt in my mouth," she cheekily says.

Niamh looks at the girl sitting at the end of the sofa, "Riley?"

"I want to keep my options open but I got my eyes on Changbin," she answers.

Welp, there goes your competition.

"You're not upset, right?" Riley thinks you wouldn't catch her throwing a glance at you but she's wrong to think that you'd feel threatened.

"Not at all," you calmly answer.

"Well, he's really hot," Riley shamelessly adds with a laugh.

"He is hot. Who disagrees?" You respond with a coy shrug.

YOU: If she feels like it, just do it. I'll do whatever I want but if someone tries to cut me off then... [blows kisses] bye-bye baby.

"Girls!"

Everyone's head turns to see Liam calling for them from across the swimming pool with the rest of the boys.

"Come, join us!" He says, inviting everyone for an impromptu pool party.

Not long after everyone gets into the water, they scatter to get some move on and you decide to wade your way to the side of the pool.

You have time to get your moves later and if someone snatched your guy away, it would be alright with you, you're here to have fun anyway.

Talking about fun, you see that you're about to get some.

It's hard not to notice that Changbin is making his way to you, his hands are wading in the water as he gets closer to you. With a hand pushed against the wall of the pool next to you, that leaves not much space between your bodies.

Changbin doesn't say anything but looks at you with a smile plastered on his face.

"You look shorter from a distance but you're actually quite tall," you tell him, even though he's only a couple of inches taller than you but men like it whenever a girl compliments their physique.

"Well, I'm huge," he simply says and he probably thinks you won't notice that he slowly closing the gap between your bodies.

Your eyes automatically look at the beads of water trickling down his arms and chest, you don't even try to keep it subtle while doing it.

"Yeah, I can see that," you tell him.

Changbin seems to like being ogled on, his mouth curls into a cocky smirk and it looks so damn attractive on him.

You look at him and brush your wet hair to the back, "How about me?"

"Very hot," he answers without a beat.

The way he eagerly answers you tell how much he's been waiting for you to ask him that, and you can't help but chuckle at it.

"A bit aggressive, okay..." you respond with a nod.

He rests another hand against the wall of the pool, caging you in between while closing another inch of space between your bodies.

"Why not?"

"Well, you could say I'm cute," you answer with your head tilted to the side while maintaining eye contact with him.

His hand moves to your side, holding you by your ribcage with his thumb teasing the elastic band of your bikini top.

"You're cute, you're gorgeous, you have good energy," he compliments you as he steals another inch to get closer to you.

"And you're really hot," he finishes with a flirty smile.

It's in the eyes and the words he said, he knows how to combine those two and turn them into a weapon.

You gently push him away but seeing how big he is, of course, it's a useless effort.

"You're bad, you're a smooth talker," you tell him with giggles.

He puts on a triumphant smile, "You can make me good," he says.

You look away to collect some senses into your head, not wanting to fall into his trap just yet. It's still early, you still want to explore your options.

"Not sure about that but do whatever you want," you tell him with a light head shake.

There comes the sly smirk on his face again, "So, I can do whatever I want, huh?" He says.

You keep your hand on his chest to stop him from coming closer, "Do whatever you want in your personal space," you correct your first remark.

There's no winning against him, Changbin takes another step to close the remaining gap between your bodies, "Well, I'm in your personal space now," he says with his face mere inches away from yours.

Your hand on his chest fails to stop him so you may as well use it to feel his firm muscles. You can feel you're slowly cracking under his intense, lustful gaze. You quickly look to the side and have nothing to say back to him.

He pushes his body against you and you can feel the heat his body emits even though you are both soaked in water. He then leans into the side of your face and whispers, "We're in a shared space now so what's going to happen?"

Changbin knows how to play this game, his eye, his words, and now his whole body is pushed against you, they're all moving under one powerful command and that is to conquer you.

He makes you forget about your surroundings and everyone can see what he's doing to you. You dare yourself to look at him and place your hands on his chest.

Still, you have nothing to say to him knowing that he'll use it against you.

"Come on," he says, getting bolder by putting his arm around your waist.

"Just a kiss," he mutters with his hot breath fanning your neck, not hesitating to kiss your neck afterward.

Oh, fuck, he's so confident and aggressive, the next thing you know, he'll be preying on you. You find it hard to resist him and can only lowly laugh at his persistence but what's the fun of giving him what he wants? This cocky boy needs to learn a little patience.

At once, you push him stronger than before, sending him a few steps back, and that way, you can escape him.

Changbin hits the water and it splashes over you, "Come back!"

You're only laughing at him as you're heading to the steps and before getting out of the pool, you look over your shoulder at Changbin, "Later!."

YOU: I can tell that this guy is going to give me a hard time.

Changbin wouldn't say that he failed, it's just that, you're a little tricky to win over.

He gets it that maybe it's just day one and you want to keep your options open, but he doesn't want to waste time.

Changbin dries himself off with a towel and then sits on the empty lounger.

"I see that you made your move, man," Liam says, sitting on the lounger next to him.

Changbin tosses his towel away and sits with his hands clasped in front of him, "Yeah, but you saw everything, she's acting like—"

"Just let it go, you know, go with the flow, let the gears spin," Liam cooly suggests.

If Liam still wants to go with the flow then that's his choice, but Changbin doesn't see why he should wait when he already knows what he wants and he wants you, there's no one else that catches his interest like you.

He can see that you have quite a fiery personality, you're passionate and forthright, and there's nothing fake about you. He senses that you're a little wild but he knows what to do about it.

"Frankly, I would hook up with all of the girls, they're all attractive," Changbin gives his honest opinion.

Liam nods in approval, his dark curly hair bouncing along with him.

"But she's the one that I can connect with more than the other," Changbin continues as he takes his water tumbler to take a sip.

"Yeah, you make a good match," Liam comments.

Changbin swallows his water before continuing to talk, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after.

"I want to know whether it's mutual or not," Changbin says.

"Yeah, yeah," Liam nodding along to his words.

"If it's not then that's the way it is," Changbin finishes then takes another sip of water.

"Then go for it, man! Take control of the game!" Liam encourages him.

It doesn't get to him that he has indeed lost control of the situation. Liam is right and he knows exactly what to do.

Changbin should get back on his feet and call you to the game.

CHANGBIN: It's time to take control of the game [smirks]

Taking advantage of the empty dressing room, you decide to be the first one to shower and put on a new pair of bikini. After drying your hair, you think of putting on something over your bikini.

You're standing in front of your closet as you try to settle on your choice of clothing. Hearing footsteps coming toward you, you close the door of your closet to see who it is.

Knowing his personality, Changbin wouldn't stop until he gets what he wants so you kind of expect that he'll come for you again, but not this soon.

He leans the side of his body against the closet and looks at you, giving you the eyes without saying anything.

"Stop looking at me like that," you tell him with a chuckle.

He stays quiet but crosses his arms on his chest as his smile grows wider on his face.

You turn to face him and ask, "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" He asks you back because he knows that you know.

"Okay, you don't need to say it," you tell him and you can't escape him again, not this time.

He leans in close and sweetly asks, "Can I do it?"

You subtly roll your eyes at him, "Do you even have to—"

With or without your permission, he's going to kiss you anyway so you lean in first and let him do the rest.

The kiss is intense, like you can feel how much he wants it and at the same time, he wants to show you what he is capable of. He puts his arms around you before resting his back against the closet. With the strength he has, you're sure you can't easily escape him this time.

But boy, he knows how to kiss, he knows how to make you dizzy with the way he uses both his plush lips and slick tongue. He makes you feel like breathing isn't necessary, you just want to keep kissing him until you turn blue.

Driven by the desire, you find yourself pushing him against the wall and opening your mouth for him, a moan or two escapes your mouth in between kisses.

When your lungs feel like catching fire, you let go of the kiss but not without sucking on his lower lip first.

Changbin smirks, liking what you're doing to him and you expect no less than that.

You have him caged between your arms now as you catch your breath, looking at him with filthy thoughts in your head and you bet he thinks the same things too.

"I know what you're doing to me," he says.

Well, great minds think alike.

"Mmh? Yeah?" You let your breath brush his cheek.

You crack a laugh at how he stifles a breath as you put your whole weight against him, pressing onto his crotch.

"Are you laughing? How about I throw you onto that table, mmh?" He taunts you but that only gets you excited.

"Shh..." You shush him and press another kiss on his lips to shut him up.

You feel his hand glides down to your ass and fondles it as he deepens the kiss. It's so quiet in the room that you can only hear the smooching sounds of your kisses, it's good that no one comes into the dressing room and interrupts the two of you.

Changbin lets go of your lips to drag his mouth down your neck and kisses you there. You drop your hands around his shoulders, allowing him to bury his head in the crook of your neck.

With one slobbering kiss on the column of your neck, Changbin finally lets go.

"I'd better go," he says.

You giggle because not only that he doing the opposite of what he said, but he tightens his arms around you.

"I'm getting excited," he continues with a heavy sigh.

The growing bulge inside his swimming trunk is apparent and you can feel it without having to look at it, "Yeah, I feel it," you tell him.

Truthfully, you don't feel sorry for turning him on but you do feel bad for not taking responsibility for it. You take a step back to put a space between your bodies yet Changbin pulls you by the elbow to place a long peck on your lips and smiles when he pulls away.

It seems like you're already trapped in his charms but what's there to lose? You win big here.

YOU: I can't say it was bad because it wasn't. It was so fucking good [groans] I want more!

Excitement and jitters are mixed into one in the dressing room as everyone gets ready for tonight.

The excitement comes from everyone getting so hyped up for the first party in the villa while the jitters come from not knowing what the first quest will be.

"What do you think the first quest is?" Niamh asks while coloring her pale cheeks with pink blush.

You cluelessly shake your head, "I have no idea," you answer.

"As long as I don't have to hunt or skin animals, I'm good," Riley says with a laugh.

As for yourself, you feel good about tonight. You put on your best outfit, put make-up on and a thick coat of red lipstick.

The boys are already waiting as you and the other girls are coming to join them by the pool, everyone takes a drink served on the table along with trays of bite-sized food.

Everyone raises their glasses in the air to propose a toast.

"To a good time!" Liam leads the toast.

"To a good time!" Everyone repeats.

Sabine adds a high-pitched scream at the end of the toast as she clinks her glass with yours, sending the sweety alcoholic drink sloshing out of the glass and trickling down your wrist.

You laugh it off and sip your drink at the same time the music starts playing, kicking off the party with an upbeat song.

"Got you!" Someone says, holding you from the back.

From the size of his arms, you can tell who it is. You immediately turn around to face him and put your glass away, "be careful," you warn about the little incident you had earlier with your drink.

Ignoring your warning, Changbin takes your hand and places an open-mouthed kiss on your wrist, from there, he continues his trail of kisses upward, along your arm and stopping at your shoulder.

You giggle as he places a final kiss on your neck, "Put your drink away and dance with me," you say.

He obeys right away, putting his drink on the table nearby and back to putting his hands on your waist. The two of you dance with your foreheads pressed in the middle and your bodies slowly swaying against the fast-paced music.

It's either the weather or the proximity or the intensity of his stare, you find yourself feeling hot inside and out. You can feel a thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead.

Changbin drops his head into your neck and you feel him inhaling your scent.

"Do you like how I smell?" You playfully ask him.

He smiles against your neck and nods, "Smells heavenly."

You place a kiss on his jaw and get a quick sniff of his perfume. He smells of musk and citrus which is something that quite captures him as a person.

"You smell good too," you tell him with a smile.

The hand resting on the arch of your back moves up to the nape of your neck and you can easily guess what he's going to do next.

The second he starts leaning in, you close your eyes and feel his lips on yours the next second. The tongue that pries open your mouth, the hand taking a fistful of your hair and the other one that grips your waist only proves that his kiss is never just a kiss, it's passionate, deep, and hungry, and it consumes you whole.

Ultimately, he does it to show everyone that you're his.

You have to push him by the chest to stop kissing you as you're running out of breath, "I need to breathe, don't you think?"

Changbin responds with a shameless grin and draws you close again, not letting you get away from him.

You wipe the lipstick mark on his lips with your thumb only for him to kiss you again. You roll your eyes at him in response to that.

"It looks good on me so leave it," he coyly says to you.

You manage to dodge away as he's about to kiss you again and laugh at him while he pouts at you.

Changbin sure has a distinct charm that you rarely find in a guy.

You lean in this time and place a long peck on his plump lips, slowly forgetting about your surroundings and that you're filming a TV show.

The lights suddenly off in the villa and the music abruptly stops, everyone turns their heads to the source of lights remaining in the vicinity.

The staff leads everyone to the beach and not long after, you see a boat coming ashore. As everyone else is cheering, you feel a little nervous about it.

"Do you think it's the first quest?" Niamh asks from next to you.

The quests! It only sinks into you now that the show tells you that the guests have to do a series of quests to win the show.

After registering everything, you gasp in surprise, "Oh, my God!"

Someone is getting off the boat and you assume he's the host of the show, he takes a stand on the small platform propped on the sand.

"Welcome to Love Quest!" He starts.

Everyone is cheering and applauding, then Oliver comes out of nowhere and puts his arm around your shoulder, his cheeks are blushed from drinking.

"What do you think we'll do?" He asks the same question with Rita.

"No idea," you honestly tell him.

The host takes a look at everyone with a cryptic smile on his face, "What do you think the first quest is?"

"I don't know but I'll probably shit my pants," Riley answers with a laugh.

"Well, are you ready for it?" The host turns on his feet to look at the boat.

"Yes!" Everyone answers in unison, followed by more claps and cheers.

"Time to find out your first quest!"

Two people are carrying a box down the boat, from the way they carefully place it next to the host with a loud thud, you can tell how heavy it is.

The host holds the handle of the lid of the box and keeps his cryptic smile on his face.

"This is your first quest..."

YOU: Oh, my God! What is about to happen?

Changbin has no idea why everyone is shocked to see a cone rising out of the box.

It must have something to do with the quest right? But why does everyone have to be this devastated? It's just—

Standing next to him, Sabine asks, "Is this what I think it is?"

"What?" Changbin cluelessly asks her back because he's confused still.

"Oh, my God!" Sabine turns panic with her hand flying to cover her mouth.

He looks around and everyone is having similar reactions as Sabine, except him, he's the only one being utterly confused.

Changbin helps Sabine steadies herself and asks, "What? Tell me! What?"

Sabine turns her head at him to finally answer him, "This is too hot to handle."

What is that? He asks himself, going deeper into the pit of confusion. He's more curious as to why everyone is acting like it's the end of the world.

Then the cone chimes and lights up, startling him because he thinks that it's just an air freshener or a portable speaker, not an AI talking robot.

"As you can see, this is no longer Love Quest," Lana begins.

He looks to the side and notices you with your mouth hanging open.

"This is Too Hot To Handle," he cone announces.

"No!" Sabine groans, grabbing at Changbin's arm.

"That means no fun, ever!" She emphasizes every word with deep sorrow.

"You have been specially selected because all of you are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships."

"That's rude!" Niamh shouts at the cone.

While Oliver grins and agrees right away, "Not wrong at all!"

"Since your arrival, I have been gathering data on your wild behavior but from now on, you must adhere to my retreat rules."

Next to Sabine, Changbin sees Liam put his hands on each side of his head, looking upset. He catches him looking, then says, "Oh man, I didn't get to rub one out to like, you know, say goodbye."

Changbin has no idea what it's got to do with the rules or maybe...

"No kissing."

What? Changbin has kissed you so many times only to be told that he can't do it again?

"No heavy petting."

It starts to dawn on him why everyone reacted the way they were when the cone popped out of the box.

"No sex."

He gets why everyone acts like it's the end of the world because it's far worse than that.

"The rules also apply to self-gratification."

"Shit! Fuck!" Changbin curses out of reflex at the mention of it.

Not only that he can't do physical things to other people, he can't even touch his own body. Does that even make sense?

Sabine hits her head at Changbin's arm, "We're fucked!"

"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000," Lana announces.

"That changes everything," Liam comments

There's money on the line now and that motivates everyone to follow the rule and some people are cheering in excitement.

Well, the money sounds good but to earn it by refraining from any sexual practices for a month? That's kind of impossible for Changbin.

"Surely, we can spend a few grand," Oliver says with his arm around you.

Changbin allows him for now as he seems a little tipsy.

"No, man, no!" Liam quickly shuts him off, putting an end to his rebellious ideas.

"But we got 200k of them," Oliver says with a subtle grin.

Liam lightly shakes his head at him, "Oh, no, you're going to mess this up for all of us," he says, sensing troubles in what Oliver said.

Looking at Sabine, Changbin believes that Oliver is going to have a hard time not touching her. Then he looks at you and realizes that it's going to be hell for him too.

"Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer!"

CHANGBIN: It's too late to back out right? [Clicks tongue] Guess we're going to go with it [sighs]

"That was a bad party," you groan, taking off your strappy heels as it's hard to walk on the sand in them.

Rita links her arm with you to walk back to the villa together, "How much do you think a kiss costs?"

"Two to three grand, I guess?" You wildly guess.

You're familiar with the show but never stayed long to pay attention to how the show works except that it doesn't allow you to get all kinds of sexual with each other which is going to be difficult for you.

All these times, you do things as you please and that includes kissing or even sex. It's so easy for you to do it with anyone because you keep things casual, with no attachments whatsoever which makes it easier.

Now that the fun is being taken away from you, you have no idea how you're going to do it. It becomes harder later that you're sharing a bed with a man that you are physically attracted to.

Seriously though, what have you done that makes you deserve this?

You're not the only one moaning and groaning in complaint about these sudden rules in the villa, the girls can't stop talking as they remove their make-up to get ready for bed. Your bedtime routine takes double the time as you can't help but join in on the chat with the girls.

"Which one do you think is going to be first to rule break?" Riley asks while brushing her long brown hair as she speaks.

"Not me," Niamh immediately answers.

You glance at Sabine who's giggling in response to Riley's question, "Sabine..."

Sabine puts her hand under her chin, "I think we should kiss each other and be the first to break the rules," she gives her opinion.

"That's not a bad idea," Rita agrees with her.

"No, I think we should make the boys sweat a bit," Riley offers another idea.

"I like that more, yes," you agree with her.

"But Oliver is so hot and I'm sharing the bed with him," Sabine whines at you.

You shrug because you have no answer to that, you're in the same predicament as her.

"Sabine, no, honey, you can do it!" Niamh encourages her

You sense that Niamh is going to be the protector of the prize money and you can't blame her for that, it's a lot of money, and you would love to win it.

However, the possibility for you to win that money is close to zero.

"Something about being told not to do something, you know," Riley says, now braiding her hair in one big pigtail.

"I know, right?" Sabine gasps.

For you, rules are something you are never good at following because they are meant to be broken anyway so why bother following them in the first place?

YOU: Now that I can't have it, I want it more [bites lips]

It's been an eventful day and he's looking forward to ending it.

Changbin sees that you're stepping into the room and heading straight to his bed, this is the part he's been looking forward to, he wants to end this day with you.

It sucks that he has Lana's rules to follow but that doesn't stop him from feeling ecstatic to share the bed with you. Especially with you dressed in a short night dress that barely covers your ass.

Oh, it's going to be a long, agonizing night for him to try not to touch you.

A smile dances on your face as you crawl on the bed and sit next to him with your back facing the room, you innocently rest your hand on his thigh like it wouldn't affect him.

"Is this what you're wearing to bed?" You ask him, pinching the hem of his black boxer.

"Yeah," he simply answers, looking at his sleeping attire of a boxer and a black t-shirt.

Changbin tries to look at your face but the plunging neckline of your night dress keeps distracting him, he can also see your nipples poking through the thin fabric.

However, his hand remains steady on your thigh, fingers lightly rubbing the skin to feel how smooth it is.

It's getting a little noisy in the bedroom with everyone talking all at once, or they're simply as excited to share beds.

You look over your shoulder for a while then put your leg between his as you look back at him, "I think it's going to be so weird to have sex in front of people," you suddenly say out of nowhere.

Changbin is half listening when his eyes are busy listing over your body, "Yeah..."

"Not that we're going to," you quickly add with low giggles.

Your hand glides up to his stomach and slipping it under his t-shirt, it's like you know that's his sensitive area.

"Just saying..." you add with a playful grin.

Now that you hinted at it, he can't help but imagine it, and without waiting for his brain to send the command, his hand moves up to your waist and grips it.

"Because you know, you get going..." you slightly grind on his thigh and pretend to moan to show it to him.

"And you know, like, it's going to be so loud," you finish talking with a sly smile on your face, knowing what you just did to him and what it does to him.

Changbin's imagination is getting vivid and he bites his lower lip to suppress the urge to kiss you. He plays with the lace fabric of the hem of your night dress, "Is that how you do it?"

You tip your head to the side, "What? Fast and loud?"

"If we do it fast, I'm not sure you can keep up with me," he says with a daring smirk, fueling his filthy mind with his own words.

You prop your hands against the mattress to hover above him and then mutter, "I just want you to throw me around."

Then you put your body on top of him which he gladly embraces, he can feel your body slowly molding into his and it feels so intimate to feel each other's bodies like this as he puts his arms around you to keep you close.

You feel soft and small against him, Changbin gets the urge to protect and take care of you but at the same time, he wants to rip your clothes off and make you cry out of pleasure.

And he never met someone that made him feel that way until today.

CHANGBIN: She makes me horny as hell, makes me want to get down and dirty right there with her.

Maybe both of you were mentally drained from the revelation that this is not Love Quest anymore and not much happened before you both went to sleep last night.

Through the curtains, you can see that it's already bright outside but the lights aren't on yet.

Changbin's arm is draped around your waist and you clutch it close to your chest, snuggling yourself close to his body.

"Oh?" You lowly gasp, feeling something poking behind you.

You feel tempted to touch it or at least, take a look at it but you refrain, you decide to tease him by rubbing your ass against his morning wood.

It doesn't take long for him to realize what you've been doing to him, he lays his hand flat on your stomach to stop you but you're relentlessly continuing to do it.

"Stop it," he scolds into your ear but you pick up the playful cadence in his sleepy voice.

Ignoring him, you arch your back more and keep teasing him. This time, Changbin firmly grips at your waist to stop you.

"You're going to get me in trouble," he mutters.

You decide to obey him and pull at his arm, wanting him to hold you close again.

Changbin puts away the hair covering your neck then places a long kiss there, he places another kiss on your shoulder blade before cuddling you again.

"Mmh..." he delightfully hums, "I can get used to this."

And you can't think of a better place to wake up to than next to him, it feels warm and snug in his arms and you don't think you'd get it from anyone else but him.

Then the lights are on and the cone chimes, waking up everyone from their slumber.

"Good morning, everyone!" Lana greets.

It's not ideal to start the day hearing the cone talking but then again, you're here under her authority.

"Morning," you sleepily answer.

You lay on your back but Changbin clings to you, burying his head in your neck with his hand resting across your chest.

"Get ready for some fun in the sun but the only way you're going to get wet is getting into the pool."

Lana is a robot but she surely masters sheer sarcasm and you admire her for that, she's not one to mess with.

"Is there any way we can turn her off?" Oliver asks with a gruff voice.

That shifts everyone's attention to his shared bed with Sabine and you notice the subtle smile on her face, "Looking so smug there," you tease her.

Sabine softly chuckles and brushes her hair to the back, not saying anything but resting her head on Oliver's shoulder.

They seem suspicious that Niamh can't help herself but ask, "What's going on, guys?"

"Nothing," Oliver answers for both of them, sweeping his hair to the side.

What everyone is doing is not your business so you choose to mind yours, hugging Changbin and feeling the muscles on his back.

"What are your plans for today?" You ask.

After a moment, he finally answers, "Working out."

"After that?"

"Shower."

"After that?"

"Breakfast."

"And what time are we going to break the rules?" You playfully ask him but you're curious if you both have the same thoughts about it.

Changbin lifts his head to look at you to see if you are serious or not, then cracks a laugh.

"Tonight?" You ask again.

Not getting an answer, you slip your hand into his soft curls and ask again, "Tonight at 8, mmh?"

He looks at you again and you both burst into laughter at the same time. He overlaps your body with his and nuzzles his nose into your neck.

"What do you think we should do, mmh?" You tease him more with a gentle ruffle on his hair, "Kiss? Handy? Sex? Anal?"

Changbin breaks into laughter again and he has the kind of laugh that is infectious, making anyone who hears it laugh along with him.

Jokes aside, you get the feeling that Changbin hesitates to break the rules, you can't tell if is it because of you or if he has his reasons.

Well, there's always a way to find out.

YOU: If he wants to come up to me, he can get some talk, he can get some actions [smirks] I'm up for anything.

Changbin is feeling refreshed after taking a shower.

He worked out a little late into the afternoon because of the big breakfast he had this morning, he felt the need to lose the extra weight he gained and turned them into muscles.

He almost bumps into Liam as he enters the dressing room, not knowing that there are people in there.

"What's up, man?" Nico asks who happens to be there as well, playing with the girls' make-up brushes.

"Not much," Changbin shortly replies as he opens his closet.

Not long after, Oliver comes into the room, grinning ear to ear. He just stands in front of everyone but not saying anything.

Changbin smells trouble from him, "Looking smug. Where have you been?"

"Just had some alone time," he talks almost inaudibly.

"With Sabine?" Nico asks for confirmation.

Oliver starts pacing around the room still slyly smiling, it's like he waits for someone to catch up on it.

"Oh, don't tell me you kissed!" Liam says with a defeated sigh.

Changbin can tell the answer right away from the smile plastered on his face, "It's true," he confirms for anyone.

Liam calls Changbin and even though he's only dressed with a towel around his waist, he helps Liam corner Oliver and forces him to confess.

"Why are you guys so big?" Oliver asks both of them, looking slightly intimidated by their sizes.

"What did you do?" Liam asks him again.

Oliver holds his hands up and nods, "Yeah, we had a little kiss."

"Oh, no, it's only day two, bro!" Nico says from behind Changbin.

With his hands up, Oliver starts to explain, "We had a moment, okay?"

Changbin walks back to his closet to start putting clothes on and sees Liam is still towering over Oliver, "Is that the only thing you did?"

"Yeah," Oliver answers.

Liam then looks around the room to see every there, the boys are all here except for Shane.

"Now if any of us do any rule breaks, I'd appreciate it if you just... fess up," he says to everyone.

Oliver nods in agreement with a winning grin for successfully becoming the first one to break the rules in the retreat.

It's getting interesting now that the first rule break has occurred and it's only about time other people start doing it too.

Changbin wonders if he should do something about his appointment at 8 tonight.

CHANGBIN: Is it going to be my turn? [Smirks] I might do something tonight. We'll see.

It's only about time that someone broke the rules and you're right to put your money on Sabine.

However, you didn't expect that it was going to happen this soon, Sabine and Oliver did it in less than twenty-four hours after Lana's sex ban.

"You think everyone is mad at me?" Sabine nervously asks you.

Everyone shouldn't act like they're going to be perfect going forward, the retreat has only just begun so there's no guarantee that there'll be saints left at the end of the retreat.

"You know I was just waiting for someone to do it," you honestly tell her.

Sabine pauses applying her lip liner and cracks a laugh, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, me and my man have a plan now," you jokingly say.

"What are your plans?"

"We're going to give each other head," you joke.

The actual plan is not very far from it, you're going to look so good tonight that Changbin can't resist you. You check yourself in the full-length mirror in the dressing room and are satisfied with what you see.

"I look so hot," you praise yourself, turning around to see the back view.

Rita comes and puts her arm around your waist, posing together in front of the mirror with you.

"We look hot!"

The night is warm with the scent of the sea clinging in the air. You grab a drink before stepping out of the villa to prepare you for tonight.

"Looking gorgeous," Shane compliments as you meet him by the pool.

You take a moment to look and search for something you can compliment on him "I like the shirt," you say with a quick pull at the collar of his shirt.

"We're kind of matching, you see?"

You're wearing a white top with a black leather skirt while he wears blue jeans with a striped blue and white shirt, the similarities are almost nonexistent but hey, he's just trying to shoot his shot.

"Yeah, we kind of do," you say to him.

Let's see if Shane got game so you stop by the terrace to give him the chance to play.

"Have you ever dated an English guy?" He asks out of the blue.

A bit too strong for an opener but okay, "Nah," you answer.

He takes a step closer, then asks, "Never?"

You look him in the eyes to see if he would flinch, "Yeah."

He coyly sips his drink to stall and continues talking after, "Would you like to?"

A solid 7 out of 10, could be better. You laugh it off and let him die to know the answer.

"You know everyone is attracted to you, right?"

"No, not everyone, I believe," you play humble like how good girls play.

Shane takes another step closer and leans the side of his body against the pillar, "This is good. We should talk more," he says with a flirty smile.

"Well, I'm open to getting to know everyone," you tell him, making sure that you mean it generally, not specifically with him.

Shane runs his hand through his hair, sending it disheveled, even so, it makes him look attractive.

"I think you went in with Changbin so quick," Shane comments.

You nod and admit that it's true, "Yeah."

He then slyly smiles at you, "So, you know—"

Before you can finish listening to Shane talking, someone has his arms around you and without warning, carrying you with him.

Thankfully, you manage to not spill the drink you're holding once Changbin puts you down. He pats the small space left on the small sofa facing the sea view.

You sit with your legs hanging between his and his arm around you, this way you can put your full focus on him. You like seeing the glints in his brown eyes and your eyes flick to his small mouth with its pair of plush lips, looking so inviting as he licks them after taking a sip of your drink.

"What were you talking about?"

Changbin tries to sound cool about this but you sense a hint of jealousy in his words.

"Talking about you, actually," you honestly tell him.

"Yeah?"

He's wearing this tight white top that showcases his sculpted muscles and makes you unconsciously roam your hand on his clothed body.

You lose track of the conversation and innocently mutter, "You're so big..."

Changbin smiles at your words, looking thoroughly happy to hear them, and wants to hear more of it.

"What about it?"

You use your fingers to play with the opening of his top, teasing the skin there, "I like that you're big," you shamelessly admit.

It's impressive how he doesn't flinch as you stare him dead in the eyes. He remains calm with his hand playing with the thin strap of your top.

"Mmh?"

You lean in close and lower your voice as you say, "Makes me wonder if you're big somewhere else too."

Men like it when you're being straightforward like that and it seems to work on Changbin too.

YOU: He is so hot. It's going to be really hard to keep my hands to myself.

Everyone else can look as much as they want but they can only dream of getting it on with you.

Changbin feels like he won big to have you sitting close to him, looking damn attractive in your leather skirt and you're deeply staring into his eyes and your legs are slowly rubbing his inner thigh.

Oh, he knows what you're doing and he sure as hell knows that he's in trouble. The sexual chemistry is there and it's electrifying, awakening every cell in his body.

He looks away for a moment to take a grip on the situation and tries to restart a conversation. Then he looks at your face and how beautiful you are, your nose, your eyes... which reminds him to compliment them.

"You have beautiful eyes," he says.

You snort and put away your drink, "Your eyes are nowhere looking at my eyes," you point out.

That's right, he was looking at your lips when he said it, how they tantalize him.

You put your hand around his neck and gently massage the back of his head, "What are you thinking, mmh?"

There's no way of denying it so Changbin resorts to playing pensive, "Why don't you take a guess?

You're playing with the zipper on the front of his chest, "Uhm... food?" You wildly guess.

He laughs then nods, "That's a pretty good guess."

"No, wait," you take back your answer and take another guess, "it was tits."

You sure know how to amuse him and other than that, make him feel aroused with every little thing you do, including now, when you fix your hair from being blown by the wind.

Changbin has been thinking about it and knowing that someone has broken the rules making it easier for him to decide.

It's his turn to break the rules now but before that, he looks around, making sure the coast is clear, he sees that everyone else is gathered in the firepit.

Changbin looks back at you, then his hand reaches for your chin to bring your head close to his so he can kiss you. He likes how eager you are to receive his kiss and return it in such eagerness.

He holds you by the jaw, his thumb pulling at your lower lip to make you open your mouth for him so he can kiss you deeper, harder.

He wants to keep going and get drunk in your sweet, sweet kiss. He's tugging your lower lip between his teeth before pulling away.

Once he breaks the kiss, he looks at you at your parted mouth and your lips wet from the kisses, you're smiling when you open your eyes.

All of sudden, you throw your arms around him and mutter, "That was a good kiss."

He plants a kiss on your shoulder and another one on your neck, "I know."

You sit back on the sofa to get your drink and secretly look at where everyone is gathering, "Did they notice?" You ask him.

He throws his head back to look behind him and shakes his head, "I don't think so."

Breaking the rules is not as bad as he thought it would be, it was easy and strangely fun, he's sure it's coming from the rush of doing it without getting caught by anyone.

Changbin can only hope he doesn't get addicted to the rush.

CHANGBIN: So it happens, my first rule break. I knew it was wrong but I still wanted to do it so... [shrugs]

Despite the strong wind blowing your way, it doesn't help keeping you away from sweating.

You use the back of your hand to dab at the thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead but you feel like your make-up is fading away with the night.

Putting your empty glass away, you break away from Changbin's cuddle.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

You get up from the sofa and fix your skirt, "I'm going to fix my make-up quick," you answer.

He takes your hand, not letting you go, "You can do it later."

You smile at him, "I'll be quick," you say.

On the way to the dressing room, Rita joined you and it just happens that she seems to have the urge to tell you something.

"Now that Riley has given up on your man, she's going for Liam," Rita informs.

You sit on your chair and unzip your make-up pouch, "Really?"

Rita leans against the vanity table and crosses her arms in front of her, "So I was there with there with Liam then Riley joined in and she won't stop talking," she grumbles.

Riley does seem like the talkative type and you can imagine her butting in between Rita and Liam, talking non-stop.

"She keeps going on and on..." Rita complaints.

You feel bad for Rita but can't help but laugh. You gently powder your nose and make sure its

"Is Liam the only one or is there anyone else you fancy?" You ask out of curiosity, taking out a tube of lip gloss out of your pouch next.

Rita gets quiet and rolls her eyes as she thinks of an answer, "I was the first to call dibs on Liam," she innocently says.

You snicker because she makes it sound like it's a child's play, "What about Nico?"

"Nico? Hmm..." Rita has an adorable habit of pinching her cheek when she thinks.

You shift on your chair to look at her, "But you know, if you want to see how things go with Liam, then go for it," you suggest.

"I'm going to do that," she says while bobbing her head in agreement.

"Then get your cute butt there," You encourage her because you don't want her to overthink things when she should just do what she wants.

She squeals in response and takes a hairbrush from her table to fix her hair, "I believe Riley is still talking when I get there," she says with a dramatic eye roll.

As she turns around to leave, you land a gentle slap on her butt, "Go get your man!"

Now that Rita left the room, you can put on a fresh coat of lip gloss on your lips and take a quick look in the mirror only to find Changbin is checking you out in the doorway.

"You told me you'd be quick," he whines.

You laugh at how he's fussing like a toddler, "I was about to walk out—"

You get cut off as he comes crashing his body against yours, hugging you so tight with his hands feeling your clothed body.

It's obvious that he's horny. You hold him back and let him bury his head in your neck, "We're going back out there or stay here?"

Changbin doesn't say anything but looks at you, his eyes are looking at your lips and filled with so much want. You kind of have guessed that he would be coming back for more because honestly, one kiss is never enough.

"You can throw me onto the table if you want," you jokingly say with a flirty smile on.

With smoldering eyes and a smirk on his face, he lifts you by the waist to sit you on the table, that way he can be at the same eye level with you.

You loop your hands around his neck and pull him close, "And now we can kiss," you whisper with your face only inches away from him.

And just like that, he caves in and kisses you. This time his kiss has intensity to it and for a moment, you feel like he's devouring you whole which is turning you on.

Changbin slides his hand down your leg and lifts it, wrapping it around his waist to close the gap between your bodies.

His other hand is angling your head slightly to the side just so he can kiss deeper, skillfully using his tongue to make you feel the slightest bit lightheaded.

A moan slips out of your mouth as he squeezes the back of your thigh. You feel faint not only because it's one of the sensitive parts of your body but also because of how close his hand is to where you want him the most.

Then the sound of heels clicking against the floor shatters the tension in the room and the two of you abruptly stop kissing.

Your head turns in the direction of the doorway and see Sabine grinning at both of you.

"I caught you rulebreaking!" She says in a sing-song voice.

"Shit!" Changbin quietly mutters as he looks away from her.

Sabine walks to her closet, "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone!" She says while switching the shoes she's wearing with sandals.

After she leaves the room, Changbin pulls you into a hug and nuzzles his head in your neck.

You jokingly pull his head close, "Okay, now, come back."

He breaks into laughter and kisses you on the cheek to compensate for not being able to give you what you want.

It's already hard to get him to rulebreak and it would take a long time for him to fall into the temptations again.

YOU: [Snickers] I don't know what's wrong with us. I don't know why we're doing it again [laughs]

Changbin jumps onto his bed, feeling so tired but inside, he's feeling euphoric.

"What's going on, big boy?" Nico asks from the next bed.

Changbin pretends to look exhausted and stretches his arms out, "I didn't do much tonight," he lies.

He knows he can't be the only one breaking the rules tonight but it's safe for him to keep a calm expression to avoid suspicion.

When he looks at the boys, he notices the smugness on their faces and they probably can see it on him too. For now, he saves the worries about the money for tomorrow.

Changbin stops thinking altogether when you climb onto the bed, wearing a white tank top and tight shorts. If only he was alone with you... oh, he's scared to even try to imagine it.

You sit cross-legged on the bed facing him, looking so beautiful even with a bare face, "Isn't it hot to sleep with a t-shirt on?"

"You can just tell me if you want me to sleep naked," he says with a mischievous smile.

"You know, I always sleep naked," you share then sips water from your tumbler.

He puts his hand on your knee "Then why aren't you?"

You put on a daring glare at him, "Do you want me to? Cause I would," you say.

If there's anything he learned from being around for these past two days is that he shouldn't challenge you because, in the end, he'll end up losing to you.

When the lights are out, he puts his arm out so you can rest your head on it but instead of that, you overlap his body with yours.

"I'm not sleepy yet," you whisper into his ear.

"Anything you want to do?" He asks and regrets it the second after he says it. He shouldn't give you ideas or worse is letting himself open to your ideas.

"A lot," you answer with a hot kiss on his neck.

Changbin feels threatened as you start placing kisses around his face, his heart skips when you get too close to his lips but he sulks when you don't do it.

You have your hand slipped under his t-shirt, splaying it on his stomach and feeling his skin there. You lean in close, rubbing your nose against his and teasing his lips with the warm breath you let out of your parted mouth.

"Want to rule break again?" You ask with your thumb swiping his lower lip.

Oh, Changbin is being put in a predicament once again. You best believe that he wants to do and will do whatever it is you want because that's what he wants too.

However, he promised himself that he wouldn't do another rule break for the rest of the night.

He hates to say no to you so he tries to lay it as gently as he can so he softly caresses your head, then takes the hand holding his face to kiss the inside of your hand.

"That's enough of a rule break for today," he murmurs with an apologetic smile.

Even in the dark, he can see you softly smile at him and nod, "Okay."

It's not about the compliance, you can be a little wayward to him but Changbin likes that you know when to hold back. Yes, he takes pride in being dominant but that doesn't mean he can force you to do what he says, you are your own person after all.

You sweetly kiss him on the cheek and mutter, "Goodnight, Changbin."

He plants a kiss on your jaw in return and mutters back, "Goodnight, angel."

For someone who has known him for a couple of days, you understand him well and that says something.

CHANGBIN: A kiss with her is always too good but it's bad because it's making me hornier [chuckles]

The day starts with Lana's morning greeting.

For a second, you thought Lana was about to announce the rule breaks right after everyone woke up and that would be so cruel of her but you're glad she didn't.

Changbin nuzzles his nose against your neck before placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. You open your eyes and see him smiling at you.

"How was your sleep?" You croak, putting your hand under his t-shirt to feel the skin on his back.

He kisses you on the arm and softly sighs, "I got bit by mosquitoes last night."

"That was me. Sorry," you joke.

That amuses him so much, that he laughs with his head buried in your neck and playfully biting at your shoulder.

When he stops, you look at him and say, "I'm not sorry actually."

With freshly showered hair, you're doing your make-up with Rita while Niamh is also dressing the other part of the room. You look at Rita whose hair is flying around her head as she's drying it.

"So, how did it go?"

Rita turns off her hairdryer, "What?"

"With Liam last night?"

"I don't know. He's been very vague about it," Rita answers, sounding as confused as her answer.

You put down your eyebrow pencil and look at her, "He probably wants to keep his options open for—"

The melodic chime coming from the cone in the corner of the room interrupted you from talking and your heart starts to sink, knowing that you committed a couple of rule breaks yesterday.

"Hello, girls!" Lana greets.

Niamh pops her head from behind the room where everyone is using to change their clothes.

"Hey, Lana..." you answer with sheer enthusiasm.

"Please gather everyone in the cabana," she orders.

You exchange a horrified look with Rita and grimace at the horror looming over you the second you hear Lana's voice.

"Sure, babe," Rita is replying to her this time.

You know exactly what's going to happen in the cabana and it's none other than the time to get publicly shamed by a talking cone.

There's only one seat left on the small wooden sofa at one side of the room and you sit there, having no one there to help you calm down.

"Okay, guys, who kissed who?" Nico asks everyone.

Niamh couldn't be faster responding to it, "I didn't kiss anyone," she says.

"Me too," Rita says.

As if it would help take everyone's suspicion off you, you're avoiding their eyes and trying to act calm. You are calm until Sabine places her hand on your knee.

"Babe? Did you kiss?"

That's so sly of her to ask you that when she walked in on you and Changbin kissing in the dressing room. You scrunch your nose and decide to lie, "Nah, I didn't."

Sabine slyly smiles at your answer and lets it go as the cone chimes in the middle of the table.

YOU: I know for sure that Changbin and I kissed twice but I'm not saying a word. I'm hoping Lana didn't see [snorts]

"Hello, everyone!"

Changbin tries to remain calm but he can't quite control his body, his heart is racing and his palms are starting to sweat. He can only hope that he's putting on a good poker face.

"What's happening, Lana?" Shane asks from the other end of the sofa.

"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and were given rules to adhere to."

Lana is an artificial intelligence but Changbin can hear the displease in her voice and she sounds upset.

"This is tense," Nico says with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah..." Oliver says.

"Despite this, your flagrant disregard for the rules has resulted in a deduction of..."

Changbin knows he takes part in that deduction and he can feel the guilt starting to seep into his mind.

"$15,000."

Everyone collectively gasps at the announcement of how much money has been lost from the prize fund and it's only the third day now.

But this also means that he's not the only one screwed up last night.

"That's the most expensive 25 hours I've ever lived," Oliver says as if he didn't spend some of that money.

"You guys are blowing it," Niamh says with a disappointed look on her face, genuinely pissed at losing money.

"In total, there were five rule breaks," Lana informs.

"Five?" Nico says with a shocked face.

"Anyone want to admit to anything?" Rita says.

Changbin glances at you and he sees that you're also looking at him, exchanging unspoken words through the eyes.

Staying silent is not an option for him, he knows better that he has to own up to his mistakes.

"Changbin and I kissed last night," you get ahead of him.

He feels less nervous to talk now that those words are out, "Yeah, we kissed."

"We had a moment and it was perfect," you add, explaining the things that led to the kiss.

"Just one kiss?" Niamh asks.

It's like something caught in your throat and you abruptly stop talking, it's time for Changbin to take over.

"No, we uh... we kissed again in the dressing room," Changbin admits.

He's expecting shouting or yelling coming at him but they're quiet, he can only hear a few deep sighs.

"Well, there's three more we need to account for," Rita says, leaning back on the sofa and crossing her arms together.

"Sabine?" You call her name loud enough for everyone to hear even though she's sitting next to you.

"What?" Sabine plays dumb.

"We knew about your kiss at the beach," Rita says to her.

Niamh scoots forward on her seat and looks at Sabine, "Is that it?"

Sabine looks at Oliver and everyone knows right away they had more than one kiss.

"Yeah, okay, we kissed twice," Oliver finally confesses with an unapologetic grin on his face.

Oliver's confession is also greeted by more sighs and Changbin feels a lot better now that he's not the only one being scrutinized at the moment.

"One more to go now," Nico mutters, scanning everyone's faces to spot the guilty ones.

"Honesty is the best policy, you guys!" Niamh warns.

Everyone wouldn't let it go until the last culprit comes forward and Changbin just wants to get this over with.

A moment passed in silence until Riley pointed at someone, "I kissed Liam."

"Look at you sitting there all quiet," Changbin mutters at Liam who happens to sit two seats away from him.

Ironic that he was the one who warned everyone to speak out immediately when they messed up yet he's the last one to do it.

"I felt a little something for Riley so I don't regret it," Liam explains.

He notices that you're exchanging looks with Rita as she seems to be upset upon hearing what Liam uttered to everyone.

"The prize fund now stands at $185,000," Lana updates before signing off.

Changbin does the math in his head and is slightly shocked to find out how much he spent but at that moment, last night, the kisses felt worth more than that.

However, everything changes now after hearing how much it costs.

CHANGBIN: $15,000... that's a lot. I'm feeling guilty now.

When Changbin hears that there's going to be a workshop, he hopes it's something that will help him control his urges.

The moment he gets told that he has to pair up with you, he doubts that it would help him much.

"Hello, I'm Billy," The instructor introduces himself, "I'm a sex expert."

"Whoo!" Oliver excitedly reacts.

"How are you all doing?" Billy asks.

"Good!" Everyone answers in unison, sitting on their respective mats for the workshop.

"Today's workshop is about ways you can connect with somebody without sex," Billy announces the lesson for the workshop.

"Breath is a huge thing so when you feel sexual tension, step away and go do your breathing, it'll help you profoundly."

Changbin feels skeptical at first but he knows now that it's possible to keep his impulses in control.

Billy then turns over a picture showing a cuddling position and everyone should do it with their partner. You crawl over to him and sit cross-legged on the space between his legs.

It takes him a moment to study the picture, he puts his arms around you and you intertwine them together in front of you.

"Hand over your heart," Billy reminds him.

He places his clasped hand on your heart and he accidentally brushes your breast in the process.

You lowly giggle in response and look over your shoulder at him, "Over my heart, not my tits."

He presses his mouth close to your ear, "It happens that your tit is close to your heart," he playfully replies.

"Breathe..." Billy instructed as he's he's pacing back and forth observing everyone, "Connect with them on a deeper level."

Changbin does what he said and closes his eyes, breathing in and out, eventually syncing your breathing together. It feels nice, he feels relaxed.

Billy walks up to Sabine and Oliver, "How do you feel in that position?"

"Damn good," Oliver shamelessly answers, making Sabine laughs in embarrassment.

Billy walks back to the front and flips a new picture on the easel, "It's going to get a little bit intimate..."

He then reveals the next position for everyone to see, he's grinning as he says, "I think you guys can handle it."

Changbin applies the lesson right away, inhaling air and exhaling it as he sits on the mat.

Okay, it's getting hard to try not to think about sex when you're sitting on his lap and your legs wrapped around his waist.

"Don't I look good on top of you?" You ask with a sly smile on your face.

He takes a deep breath and puts his hands on each side of your waist, "Yeah," he answers, can't stop his brain from imagining it.

It doesn't get any easier with the way you're looking deep into his eyes and Changbin reckons he should look away.

He pulls you close and rests his head against your chest, listening to your steady heartbeat helping him to calm down.

"How are you guys doing?" Billy asks him.

"We're doing good," you answer for both of you.

After he leaves, you look back at him and put your hands around his neck, "Good, right?"

Changbin bets that you know how good it is for him as you sit right on his crotch. The sexual tension is getting unbearable and breathing doesn't help him as much as it did before.

Thankfully, Billy ends the workshop before it gets dangerous.

"Thank you, all of you beautiful people and I appreciate you for being present with me," he concludes.

Everyone is giving him a round of applause as a token of gratitude for his lesson.

CHANGBIN: It's clear that we have a strong sexual chemistry but I also sense that there's something genuine there.

It's unclear whether Changbin is up to doing something naughty tonight.

Nevertheless, you're putting on a tight dress and a luscious coat of lipstick, you know he can't resist you when you look this good.

Changbin is talking to Nico when you come and put his arm around you, wanting to get his attention. Successfully having him for yourself, you corner him and take him to sit together on the lounger.

"You look good tonight," you compliment, feeling his pecs through his black shirt.

He reacts with a mix of shy and cocky smiles, you don't know how he does that but it looks good on him.

You bring your mouth close to his ear and murmur, "You look so delicious."

Changbin is oddly quiet tonight and you guess you just need to warm him up, showering him with compliments and talking about random things.

"I only noticed it now that you have a dimple," you say.

Changbin smiles again for you to showcase it and you use your finger to poke the dimple on his cheek.

"Your cheek is squishy too," you playfully poking at it while giggling.

"I think my right cheek is more squishy," he disagrees with you, poking his other cheek with his index finger.

He looks so cute doing it and out of nowhere, you feel like biting at his cheek and doing it.

"Why did you do that?"

"Nom nom nom nom," you tease him instead of answering.

Changbin pulls you close and gently bites at your arm to get back at you, sending you laughing uncontrollably.

Now that he's warming up and relaxed, it's time to find out if he plans to do something about the night. You rest your hand on his chest, fiddling with the button of his shirt as you talk.

"What are we going to do tonight, mmh?"

He only smiles at you with his hand caressing your back.

You press your head close to his and lower your voice as you say, "How about you finger me in secret?"

He bursts into laughter and pulls you closer, holding you with his arms around you, but it feels more like he's trying to restrain you.

"We're going to be good tonight," he tells you.

The message is well-received.

You fully understand if he doesn't want to rulebreak tonight and you're alright with it, you don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want.

You press a kiss on his cheek and then rest your head on his chest, "Yeah, sure, we can be good."

Also, perhaps he needs a little breather too.

YOU: He doesn't want to rulebreak tonight but who knows about tomorrow? [Raises eyebrow]

Just like Billy said, Changbin get away and do his breathing as the sexual tension is only rising when he's with you.

Most of everyone is gathering in the cabana so he goes there, trying to get his mind distracted by talking to other people than you.

Nico is sipping his drink and silently watching Sabine and Oliver canoodling by the firepit.

"I don't know if Sabine were like flirty with anybody but I kind of want to make Ollie cry," he says to him.

Changbin feels like getting another drink but he stays seated for the drama.

"Do it, man!" He encourages him.

The next thing he knows, the night is getting late and it's time to turn in for the night.

He manages to not rule break today as he planned but it doesn't feel like an achievement at all, if anything, he feels like shit for saying no to kissing you. Now, he has the image of your eyes dimmed when he told you he doesn't want to rulebreak tonight replaying in the back of his head.

It's not dramatic of him to feel ecstatic to see you get on the bed, he barely saw you after you both cuddled on the lounger earlier.

"Where have you been, baby?" He asks you.

You dive right into his arms and rest your head on his chest, "Talking with Rita," you mumble your answer.

He notices that you sound exhausted, "Tired?"

You turn your head to look at him and nod.

The moment the lights turn off, you get off of him to sleep on your side of the bed.

"Goodnight, fam!" Liam says to everyone in the dark.

"Night," a few replying to him.

Changbin doesn't want to assume things but he's scared that the reason why you feel a little distant is because he said no to rulebreak with you.

Then you're shifting on the bed and he sees you trying to take your top off under the duvet, you notice him watching.

"It's hot," you mutter at him, putting your top on the bedside table before laying on your side with your back facing him.

And he can see what you're trying to do to him.

Changbin scoots closer until his chest meets your back, he then traces the curve of your body with his hand, only using his fingertips to touch you.

He feels nothing but miles and miles of silky soft skin.

"Are you ticklish?" He asks, dropping his voice low and sultry.

"No," you answer.

That only encourages him to touch you more, exploring your body while trying to avoid it becoming something sexual. He presses his mouth on the back of your shoulder and softly inhales your scent while his hand caresses your abdomen with his knuckle.

With the way your body slightly shaking, he knows you're holding in your laughter.

"Tickles, mmh?"

"Not really."

Changbin lowers his hand down your waist and keeps going until his hand lands on the softness of the back of your thigh, caressing it with his knuckle.

"How about now?"

You shake your head.

He has no other option but to squeeze the flesh and you jolt on the bed. You take his hand out of the duvet and turn your head to scold him.

Before you can do that, he captures your lips in his. He knows he catches you off guard but you manage to return his kiss.

Changbin pulls away to have you pinned under him before leaning in and kissing you again. You moan as he puts his whole weight on you, sending your breasts squashed between your chests.

He's aware that everyone else in the room can see it but something about doing it in secret makes it inexplicably kinky.

CHANGBIN: If I'm being honest... I want to eat her all up [smirks]

Another day means another session of listening to a talking cone.

Changbin is prepared to face everyone when he comes clean about what he's done with you last night. It's the only rule break he did yesterday and he knows it's not progress but he feels good knowing that he showed a little more restraint than the last time.

Other than that, he's sitting next to you now so he feels reassured, knowing that you have his back.

The cone chimes at the same time he takes your hand and holds it.

"Hello, everyone!"

Everyone gets tensed as soon as Lana talks even though she hasn't said anything but her usual greeting.

"What's up, babes?" Rita replies to her, sounding chipper than usual.

"The rules of my retreat have been broken," She announces.

Here it goes, Changbin says in his head. He takes a deep breath and squeezes at your hand.

"Is there anybody who wants to come clean?"

Changbin clears his throat before speaking, "I want everyone to know that it was me who started it," he begins, taking full responsibility for what he's done.

"It was me, I kissed her last night."

His confession is yet again getting answered by low groans and sighs, he understands that he let them down but... oh, well.

"The kiss has cost the group $3,000."

There goes another $3,000 down the drain and Changbin admits he did wrong for making the same mistake.

"Anyone else wants to fess up?" Niamh asks.

The grin on Oliver's face is unmissable and that means he did something, most likely a bad thing.

"Did you two kiss again?" Liam asks him, pressuring them to talk with laser in his eyes.

Oliver rubs his chin while Sabine can only look at him, waiting for him to speak for both of them. He deeply sighs, then nods, "Yeah, we did."

"Just once?"

Oliver nods again, "Just once, I swear."

Lana confirms by announcing another $3,000 has been deducted from the prize fund.

Changbin feels a lot lighter now after telling the truth and accepting the truth that a chunk of money is gone because of him but it's too early for him to let out a sigh of relief yet.

"They were not the only ones to break the rules," Lana informs.

"My God?" Sabine scoffs.

Changbin is on the hunt for the culprit, he scans for any guilty faces sitting on the sofa and not realizing that you've been fidgeting next to him.

He turns his head at you and wonders if...

You uneasily look at him, then say, "It was me."

CHANGBIN: What the fuck is going on?

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taglist: @svintsandghosts @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @bluenights1899 @elizalabs3 @avyskai @is2cb97 @simeonswhore @marvelous-llama @linovely @jisungsleftcheek @hanjisbeloved @knowleeknow @army-stay-noel @bigsobs4skz @toplinehyunjin @channies-luv @foxinnie8 @biribarabiribbaem @dalamjisung @moasworld @sherryblossom @fawnpeaks @lukeys-giggle @obeythemasters @primoppang @devilsmatches @skz-streamer @freckleboilix @idkluvutellme @laylasbunbunny @cutiespaghetti @yourmercibeaucoupsblog @hanjisunginc

#stray kids smut #skz smut #changbin smut #seo changbin smut #changbin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz fics #skz fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fics #kpop fanfics #seospicy smut #too hot to handle series

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leclsrc · 2 years

Note

hi auds bear!! dunno if you saw charles' insta story of his new sky ad but now begging for a 2k celebration blurb of dad!charles <3

misspelled – cl16

genre: fluff, 2k celebration, girldad!charles

“It’s L-E-S, love.” He points to the piece of paper peppered with doodles. “Go ahead for me.”

The sun is high and sweltering, with noontime March heat, but still Charles is undeterred in his quest to get your daughter to spell his name properly. The evening prior, you’d presented him with a welcome home card signed by her, and addressed to Daddy Charlse—cue the Leclerc dramatics.

He’d pressed about a thousand kisses to her tiny face, thanking her over and over and keeping the card in his bag so they could cook dinner together. But once the pasta was finished and the toothbrush jingle was sang (twice) and he’d stowed her off to bed (three storybooks later), he padded over to your bed and sighed lowly, stopping just shy of the foot of it. Already you’d sensed his incoming anxious complaint.

It comes. “So. Charl-s-e.”

“She’s four, honey.” You’d shut your book softly, smiling. “She spells her grandmum’s name as Packal.”

“It’s because I’m always out for work, isn’t it?” He climbed into bed beside you, perching his chin on your stomach. “And this is also because Max keeps insisting he babysit, sweetie. I swear, he’s brainwashing my baby girl.”

You laughed; the vibration extended into him and he smiled fondly at your reaction. ��Charles, it’s nothing. They’re working on spelling at school, you know—she’s got a few words she gets wrong sometimes, the same ones. But she’s learning.”

“Charl-s-e,” he’d repeated sullenly. “Charl-seh.”

“If it matters that much, why don’t you try teaching her tomorrow?” You swept your hand through his hair, mouth in a half-smile. “Make an afternoon of it.”

He’d taken your advice very seriously—woken up a bit earlier, cooked them both pancakes (and you French toast, as always) and led her into the yard for some daddy-daughter time. “If you’re thirsty, I made lemonade,” you sing-song from the patio door. “You two’ve been at it for a bit.”

There are scrapped pieces of paper with his name misspelled on most of them—there is the occasional success, though you’re guessing Charles wants just one more—and drawings of your family all over them. You already sense the influx of pictures Charles has on his phone, of these drawings and cards he always posts on his Instagram or sends to you.

At your announcement, Julia looks up, green eyes piqued with interest, grip on the red crayon loosening. But her father’s faster, gently coaxing her back into the mini lawn chair that sits on the yard. She nods along his careful instructions, writing slowly, sun filtering through her light brown hair.

You get short moments of reprieve like this during the season. It’s rare for Charles to visit if he’s in the thick of it—most of the time you travel to a different city to see him, Julia going from your hip to his arms in seconds once he spots the two of you. But this moment is irreplaceable: the sunrays on the grass, the lemonade waiting to be drank, the pieces of paper with Mommy and Papa, bunchfuls of grapes on the patio table.

He tries again. “Come on, love. C-H-A…”

She bounds into the kitchen five minutes clutching a final paper, which she shows you with a sun-tinged face of pride. CHARLSE, it reads still. You pour her a glass, wait for Charles to finish packing up the rest of the art materials Julia was too excited to do herself; he comes in a bit sweaty from the sun asking to see the card.

You hand him a glass and press a kiss to his cheek. “Still S-E,” you say, both of you reading over the various scribbles.

“I don’t care.” He pauses. “You see this?” He points to the lower part of the page.

Best Daddy Ever is written on it in wild vivid colors. You beam, love bubbling up in your chest overwhelmingly. He takes it from you and tacks it onto on the fridge, smiling. “She wrote that. I couldn’t have asked for a better card.”

#f1 #charles leclerc #leclsrc2000 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc smut #f1 x reader

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bullet-prooflove · 4 months

Note

Seduction-Sean

Tagging: @kmc1989@emilyjr@toasted-stiletto@icefrye19@to-grow-in-and-to-love

It was never meant to be a seduction, not on Sean’s part.

When he asks you to his apartment so that he can cook for you it’s more of a practical thing. He’s on a limited wage as a counsellor in training at the rehab clinic, he can’t afford to take you out so he invites you to his place instead. He’d been embarrassed when he’d first told you that, he thought you’d give up on him, decide he wasn’t worth the effort but you’d surprised him with your enthusiasm.

“I can’t remember the last time someone cooked for me.” You’d told him as he’d walked you home through the park.

When you turn up at his apartment he’s blown away. You’re wearing a midnight blue t-shirt dress that clings to your form, your hair is loose, falling around your features. He still can’t believe that you’re attracted to him.

He greets you with a kiss, it’s meant to be chaste, a tender brush of the lips but it sparks something, something raw, wild and passionate. You don’t make it to dinner, the food is left half prepared in the kitchen because after that first kiss Sean just can’t stop.

He doesn’t remember how the two of you end up in the bedroom, all he can focus on is the sensation of your body pressed against his, your fingertips tracing all over his skin as you straddle his lap. He could spend forever like this with you, his mouth on yours, his hands on you as he grinds up against your core.

God, you feel so much better than anyone else he’s ever been with.

“It’s my first time.” He tells you, when you reach for his zipper.

He knows you understand the significance of that.

His first time willing, his first time sober.

“We don’t have to do this.” You whisper against his lips as your forehead comes to rest against his. “We can take it slow, go at your pace, I’m willing to wait.”

“No I want to.” He murmurs, his cheeks colouring. “I just… I don’t know if I’m any good.”

It hurts that he thinks like that, that he doubts himself. You know that sex is an issue for Sean, that his first time was stolen instead of given. Everything after that was tainted by the drugs that man got him hooked on, he hasn’t had a positive experience, not yet.

“Sean.” You say softly as your lips brush over his. “Don’t focus on that, just focus on us.”

You pull the dress up and off your body, the material fluttering to the floor and Sean’s attention, it’s entirely on you. He can’t take his eyes off you after that.

He takes his time exploring you, hands chasing over your bare skin, mouth on yours. The sounds you make embolden him as you guide him to just the right place. He moans at the sensation of your wetness against his dick, his thumb ghosting along the line of your jaw as he enters you slowly.

It’s perfect, the feel of you around him. He begins to move, long drawn out thrusts that rake over that deviant little spot deep down inside you. He chases your bliss, your hitched breathing and desperate whimpers until he has you right on precipice of rapture, clenching around his cock and that feeling, that sense of connection, Sean has never felt anything like it.

He comes with you. His mouth covering yours, stifling the sound of your pleasure as he spills his release deep. It isn’t until you kiss the salt from his cheeks that he realises that he’s crying.

“It’s never been like that before.” He whispers as his thumb sooths over the apple of your cheek. “It’s never felt so damn good.”

Love Sean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#sean archer #sean archer x reader #chicago med #one chicago

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scoops-aboy86 · 8 months

Text

(Continued from this, in which Eddie tried to cast a love spell to snag Steve Harrington but it didn’t go right and just made Steve inexplicably popular.)

Anyway, once Steve starts that Scoops Ahoy job, any hopes of retaining his jock figure are toast.

Whenever Eddie visits, Steve sets him up in a booth with a guess-the-mystery flavor milkshake. Every once in a while Steve will swing by during table wiping duties (which his cranky coworker Robin is more than happy to let him take more often than not) and ask what his guess is, and Eddie being Eddie gives the most off the wall answers he can think of. To which Steve will tilt his head, take a sip of the milkshake himself as if to refresh his memory, set it down while smacking his lips thoughtfully (Eddie’s favorite part, he always zeros in on it), and say, “Nope, better luck next guess.” Needless to say, he ends up drinking most of the milkshake, especially since Eddie is a slow drinker and doesn’t like it as much once it’s all melted. (Steve, who has developed quite the sweet tooth, thinks it’s endearing when Eddie insists that ice cream should be chewed.)

Employees can get up to one complimentary item every shift, so Steve also eats at least one full serving of ice cream a day.

There’s a toping limit on that deal, but what management seems to have failed to take into account is that the workers aren’t terribly well supervised in the absence of paying customers. Both Steve and Robin each have their own “spilled toppings” cup under the front counter, although the latter refills his more frequently and sometimes pours chocolate sauce on top before eating it all in one sitting with a spoon.

Meanwhile, Steve. Is. Loving this. He understands Eddie’s cafeteria table ramblings more, he thinks, now that he’s eating like this after years conforming and shoehorning his appetite into an athlete’s diet.

Also, like… Eddie is totally different from any friend can remember ever having before. Thinking back to their earliest interactions, he doesn’t think Eddie even wanted anything to do with him at first, and doesn’t seem to want anything from him now besides company, even if it’s just in the form of Eddie writing his campaigns in the Scoops parlor while Steve’s working. For another, Eddie’s eyes sometimes follow him the way all the high school girls’ used to, only instead of feeling on the spot or nervous Steve is just… comfortable with it. He’d never been able to figure out why he got all that attention in high school because it had started before he’d even done anything, but with Eddie every step towards becoming friends had been a conscious struggle.

So if Steve starts leaning into whatever gets Eddie’s eyes on him like that, is that really so big a deal? He’s always liked attention, so sue him—and when he ends up realizing that it happens whenever he’s being most himself, well. He’s never felt like anyone really liked him for him anymore, not even Nancy since ‘bullshit’ and ‘tell me you love me.’ The fact that Eddie does drives him wild.

And Steve likes to eat. He feels more grounded in this bigger version of himself. Eddie’s always watching his mouth, his hands, his fingers (especially when he’s licking drips of ice cream off them)—so Steve happily keeps indulging however he feels like.

One day Steve is wiping down tables and bends down a little too far to grab some fallen napkins off the floor. He feels more than hears the fabric of his blue uniform shorts rip, and all but leaps into the booth Eddie is haunting before anyone else sees, sits close to him because he likes the proximity. One glance is enough to know that Eddie definitely saw, his big Bambi eyes open wide, eyebrows anll the way up his forehead… and hair pulled across his face in an attempt to hide flushed cheeks, caught in the act of staring at Steve’s ass.

That’s what gives Steve the confidence to lean in a little bit and flirt, ask to borrow Eddie’s jacket (no one else in this town would wear leather in summer) so he can get back behind the counter and change. Eddie hands it over immediately, and flushes even harder when Steve grins and says, “My hero.”

It doesn’t have to mean anything, but he wants it to.

Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

#love spell no go au #scoops words #chubby steve harrington #yeah i thought about it some more #i like my ice cream with some cronch to it don’t @ me #(actually that would be hysterical somebody do that)#(slap fight over dessert textures in the comments)#(bring it on lol)#scoops steve

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jungle-angel · 1 year

Text

Random College!Rhett headcannons: Part 1 (Rhett Abbott x Reader)

Notes: I haven’t seen The Line yet, but I have seen comedies like “Animal House” and “Old School” so I’ve gotten alot of headcannons from that and as a result Frat!Rhett has been living in my head rent free. I was a little bit nervous to do this, but all the same, I’m glad I did (lol). Sorry if it’s a little long, I had to pack alot in (if you catch my drift, lol).

Tagging: @sebsxphia @bradleybeachbabe @bobfloyds

Rhett is the president of the Delta Tau Epsilon fraternity at one of the colleges in Montana and oh does that house have a rep (but in the funniest possible way of course)

Kayce Dutton is his right hand man, new pledges always go through Kayce before going to Rhett and when Rhett’s away, whatever Kayce says, goes

The guys in the frat were kinda nerdy in high school so Rhett and Kayce have a particularly soft spot for the nerds. They’re also really close with the nerd frat on campus and any time anybody needs extra tutoring, they go to them

When Rhett met you, you were kind of a shy little freshman who was two years behind him. He really, really liked you because you loved to hide out in the library but you also loved to go out and have a good time

Your first party at the house though?? Holy shit, did shenanigans ensue

It all started with the new pledges engaging in a challenge to see who could shotgun the most beers in under ten minutes. One poor freshman got beer up his nose and it ended with one of Rhett’s frat brothers having to take the kid into the bathroom to help him blow it all out his nose. The kid was ok but the brothers kept an eye on him the rest of the night and well into the next morning

Three other pledges were on their knees, hands behind their backs while Rhett, Kayce and another guy were up on the staircase balcony dropping flaming hot Cheetos from above and the guys having to catch them in their mouths

Sooooo many drinking games in the basement.....quarters, bloody knuckles, boom cup, kegstands (lol)

Some of the new pledges got a chance to show off their stand-up skills and some of them had the whole crowd in stitches by the end

When you and Rhett officially started dating, you became known as “The First Lady Of The Frat”

And ever since then the guys call you Mom and Dad

If you stayed over and the newbies were getting too loud, the older ones would shush them and be like “Mom and Dad are asleep”

One time one of the brothers who was on the football team threw his back out during practice and was laid up on the couch with a little bell to ring any time he needed something and it was literally every two seconds that he was ringing that bell. Kayce ended up having to take care of him most of the day while Rhett had to meet with the Dean of the History Department, which was annoying as hell

Rhett: “RING THAT BELL ONE MORE TIME AND I’M STICKIN IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE!!!......Kayce: “DAD’S HOME!!!!”

The morning after a rager, you often had to be on standby with the puke buckets which were a little less than pleasant

But oh did you make the best hangover breakfasts ever.....eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, coffee, a little bit of rosemary and olive oil bannock on the side. You’re everybody’s favorite cook which makes Rhett’s raging housewife kink flare up

When you’re cooking the hangover specials, he’ll come up behind you and pin you against the stove only to rub the raging hard-on packed into his Wranglers against the back of your thigh and against your ass

Had a long day and are kinda burned out from studying? Rhett will clean up his room and get it in a sexy mood before he lays you down on the bed and starts giving you a full body massage. If you need a hot bath, he’s running you one in the joint bathroom to help you relax. He’s tried out the mating press with you in the bathroom and it felt soooooo fucking good (lol)

On nights when the toga parties get a little too wild and you and Rhett need a moment, he’ll bring you up to his room which sometimes ends up with the two of you falling right into the bed

There’s a heatwave hanging over the town and the campus? Rhett and his frat brothers will dig a big pit in the backyard, fill it with ice and let everybody relax in it. When it melts? MUD WRESTLING!!!!!!

If the heatwave lasts more than a week, Rhett and the guys gather everybody up and go down to the reservoir to make a giant slip n’ slide down into the water

You had first dibs since you were the First Lady but as soon as you hit the water, you lost your bikini top. Rhett ended up diving in and searching for it only to come back up with your bikini top in his teeth and a big shit-eating grin on his face

When it’s tick season, Rhett will literally ram it into the guys heads that they’d better check themselves and each other before and after they go traipsing through the woods or high grass. If you’re trying to check an area that’s a little hard to reach, he’ll bring you upstairs to his room for a full on pussy inspection to make sure. He’s even got a kit that has a homemade oil mix in it that’ll kill the ticks. Sometimes he’ll just use it as an excuse to rub it all in there anyways just so he can hear you moan and get you off (lol)

When Rhett walks you home at night, the rest of the frat are stationed in the trees, in the bushes or in their vehicles parked on the side of the road to keep a watch out for the frat boys who are actual assholes

And if Rhett can’t walk you home for one reason or another? Kayce and the rest of the boys basically become your secret service escort

But there was one night you knew you wouldn’t forget

The guys were throwing a rager to blow off some steam after midterms

And they set up a dance floor in the middle of the living room

Everybody cleared the way for you and Rhett, the President and First Lady of Delta Tau Epsilon

You were almost in tears when the song started playing, looking into Rhett’s eyes as he whispered a very quiet “I love you”

When “Where The Streets Have No Name” by U2 started playing, you, Rhett and the whole house started jumping which shook the house (that was also the song that would play when the football team charged out into the stadium during a game)

And when you all started singing at the same time, it reminded you of a big stadium concert

But you and Rhett didn’t let go of each other the entire time, the both of you belting out the lyrics with the others

And ever since then, you, Rhett and his frat brothers remained close for the rest of your days

#outer range #rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #kayce dutton #rhett abbott headcannons #rhett abbott x reader headcannons

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inaris-mage-of-storms · 2 days

Text

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Jimmy couldn't quite remember how it happened, either. Gem had even put them up in two separate rooms. They bid each other good night when they'd finished their after dinner drinks, fWhip went to bed first, and then...

"This wasn't supposed to happen."

It definitely wasn't. But fWhip's groggy voice echoing his own thoughts was so comfortingly familiar that Jimmy couldn't help but smile.

"No," he agreed softly, brushing his fingers against fWhip's. "But I can't say I'm unhappy it did."

fWhip was silent a monent, then moved closer and slotted himself into Jimmy's arms as easily as if he'd never left them in the first place. "Yeah. I can't either."

Gem rolled her eyes when they came down to breakfast together, and fWhip pointed a finger at her. "Shut up."

"I didn't say a word," said Gem primly, spreading sweetberry preserve over her toast. "I'm sure it's just a coincidence." Despite her words, there was a small smile on her face as she glanced at the badge on fWhip's shirt. "Though you are his deputy again, so I wouldn't be surprised if - "

"Temporary deputy," fWhip snapped. "It's just until we track down Goodtimes, then I'm done." He reached for the coffee pot, and none of them missed the way he poured Jimmy's coffee before his own.

Gem hummed doubtfully, but didn't argue. "Scar has nothing to do with that robbery, you know."

"No, Gemma, I don't know." fWhip sounded weary. Once, Jimmy would have pulled him close and rubbed that spot on the back of his neck that made him melt. Now, all he could do was stir his coffee while fWhip continued. "A former associate of his cleans out one of the most secure banks around, while an unseen partner takes out five men with a single clean shot each? And he just happens to close down the mercantile and disappear into the ether immediately after? He has to be involved."

"It wasn't him," said Gem stubbornly. "Just because he has a spotty past - "

fWhip snorted. "If by 'spotty' you mean 'bloodsoaked'. I know you think he's charming, Gem, but he's dangerous. Like that vagrant you think I don't know is hiding out in your other spare room."

Gem had opened her mouth to argue again, but at that she snapped her jaw shut, and Jimmy raised an eyebrow at fWhip. "What vagrant?"

"What va - You can't be that dense," said fWhip in despair. "How could you miss - "

"I'm not dense! There hasn't been a single sign of - "

"Aw, are you talking about little ol' me?"

A cheerful voice interrupted their argument, and both Jimmy and fWhip jumped and looked to its source. "Er - good morning, ma'am," Jimmy said with polite caution to the woman leaning on the back of Gem's chair. Her hair was tamed into a sleek braid and she wore one of Gem's old gowns, but she had a tattered red cloak on over it and there was a piercing, wild look in her eyes that reminded Jimmy an awful lot of a -

"Is that a wolf?" he yelped, grabbing fWhip's arm as he spotted the creature lurking behind the woman.

"Hm? Oh, don't worry about Tilly. She doesn't bite any more than I do. Less, probably," she said with a sharp grin. "Gemmie~ We're hungry."

"Oh for - go put her in the garden, Pearl," said Gem with barely concealed exasperation as she pointed at the side door. "And take that off until I have someone wash and mend it. You are not wearing it to the lawyer's office."

Pearl pouted, but did as she was told without argument. "Gem. Please explain," said fWhip, sounding somehow even more exhausted than he had earlier. Jimmy turned his attention back to breakfast, deciding that whatever was going on, it wasn't his business.

"Oh, she's staying with me while she and Miss Burke talk to Mr. Leman about options for separating from their husbands," said Gem, as if that didn't bring up more questions than it answered. "Speaking of, have either of you heard from Scott? I'm sure he'd be more than willing to sign whatever he needs to."

fWhip only stared at her, slapping Jimmy's back while he choked on his eggs. "I'll take that as a no," sighed Gem. "Well, do send him this way if you see him."

}{ more from this au }{

#file: storm writes things #file: western au #empiresshipping #fwhimmy

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britcision · 24 days

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So I went on holiday last week! Free camping at the family trailer! (Free as in we didn’t have to pay for the site, we did do some restocking for the trailer itself and all other expenses)

So lemme tell you how that went :)

Day 1: drove up, which took an hour longer than usual cuz half the roads were torn up (ah the Canadian seasons… winter and construction). Made it there, met parents for dinner, found out heating and AC were still down so it was gonna get pretty cold.

Parents were fine because they have body heat, but it hit something like freaking 5 degrees so we broke out the winter sleeping bags about it.

Oh and got a second degree burn on my arm wrassling with the kettle trying to work out how/why it wasn’t whistling properly when it boiled (this remained unresolved and it just kinda did or didn’t at random). The trailer had sterile pads but no tape to apply them with, but I carry that in my car so it was fine.

And around 3am, a fuse blew so the lights wouldn’t turn on. Fridge and microwave still fine.

Day 2: woke up to discover the fridge, which contained my $$$$$$$$$ shots for at least 3 autoimmune conditions which can’t warm up for 15 minutes or they’re worthless, was no longer working. Microwave was.

I checked almost everything, asked my Dad if I had to turn anything off before playing with the actual fuse panel (unscrewed by knife because no screwdriver in the trailer anymore?? For some reason??). He insisted on calling and telling me to retry every single thing I already tried, then told me “no you can just play with the fuses see which has blown”.

The lights indicating blown fuses are on the list of things currently not working. :)

Luckily, I did manage to find and replace 2 blown fuses and got everything except the heater and AC working again before the fridge got warm. We went and checked out some spots to maybe do cosplay shoots!

Day 3: got most of the way to a cosplay shoot but my dumb ass decided to switch contacts at the site rather than scare the piss outta the cashiers at the 2 quick stops we made on the way, and something kept getting into my dang eyes.

I flushed it 3 times, taught my partner to flush it, and then had to bap a disposable lens back in anyway to drive down the street to the hospital, because every single optician who could do the 2 second check I needed to tell me if there was still something in my eye or I actually scratched the cornea (again) closed 10 minutes before this began.

So we hung out at the hospital for 3.5 hours, me with my eyes shut for about half of it because OW, in full view of the one single little scope I needed to borrow to determine if I could safely put contacts back in and drive to the trailer an hour away (very bad idea if there’s an actual cut or scratch on the cornea).

Flushed my eyes 3 more times in their bathroom and the red went down enough and the right eye started focusing so I figured if it’s a scratch it’s a small one and can wait til the opticians open tomorrow so we went home anyway. Both eyes fine, but there was Definitely still something in them until the last flush because it kept stabbing me.

Day 4: picked up a buddy from the bus station to join us for the rest of the trip, went about some of our favourite local spots to see wild gardens and waterfalls and shit.

Apparently the bus lost someone half way up who was supposed to get off at a specific stop but didn’t but that wasn’t our problem so it was fine. Only a 45 minute delay.

Stole some sticks from the arboretum :) and got back in time to light an early fire and toast smores!

Day 5: buggered off almost all the way back to the hospital we’d been to before, this time to go see a fen full of carnivorous plants. The other two kept leaving me behind by accident but I had the car keys so it’s not my problem.

We somehow lost a second little nature reserve on the way back but it’s fine. We made it to a second waterfall before partner started getting some serious pains (possibly smores related) and joked about going back to the same hospital, but it was one of their usual ones so we knew how to deal with it. No more smores for him though.

Day 6: big cosplay shoot that actually worked, I have shared pictures! Partner was pretty much stress dissociating all the way down aaaaand we may have nearly killed our buddy cuz one of the times we went off-roading and climbed under a ledge they got so dizzy they nearly fell and we had to stop to rest… fortunately at the shoot site around the next corner, so we got them fed and hydrated and had a break ourselves, then got to setting up light and such while they rested.

I climbed all the way down to the waterfront :) and! Someone recognized Delicious In Dungeon on our way back, but not Mithrun because anime-onlies. I still win though, cuz our other two were doing Name of the Wind and I think a really specific stage production of Peter Pan (it’s a cool costume) and they didn’t recognize that.

On our way home the GPS did decide to bring us down a spooky backroads we’d never taken before, despite driving this exact route 3 times previously on this very vacation and many times over several years before that. So obviously we said “fuck it” and went to check it out, which was good fun.

Then we got home and set up for our last fire, tried out our new smores grilling contraption to make bacon grilled cheese (it was goooooood), and me or buddy must have knocked the stove at some point, because around midnight the gas alarm started going off.

While partner, the smallest and shortest and worst-lunged of the group, had been inside on a bug murdering spree with the electric flyswatter.

We kicked his ass out, I checked the stove and determined it was not a more mysterious leak we’d have had to disconnect the propane for and lose the water heater, and opened all the windows and the door to let the propane clear out while we looked up what to do with a propane leak.

Buddy got in touch with their mom the former nurse to check when we should go to hospital about the propane poisoning (again we joked about going to the same one but for him) and determined that yeah, he was definitely poisoned and felt real sick, but so long as he stayed outside and did not get worse, puke, or pass out, he should be fine.

So, it getting cold again, I retrieved the cold weather sleeping bag and we put him in front of the fire, debating whether or not the smoke would make it worse. (He’s fine, the smoke probably didn’t help but again, it got Fucking Cold).

And then we waited about an hour 45 for the propane to clear, as determined by me sticking my head in and sniffing to see if I could smell gas every 15 minutes. We did not inform the nurse-mom of this method because we didn’t have a better one (the alarm stopped going off 5 minutes in and showed a green light but it still smelled REAL strongly of gas and I got a headache around the hour mark and got buddy to second guess the last few).

Nothing exploded and we didn’t get in shit for the alarm going off real loud at midnight, so all in all a success!

Day 7: we packed up our stuff, tidied the trailer, and met up with my parents again to turn the keys back over and headed home the long way, via another waterfall.

This time they’d opened the end that was shut last year (and sealed off the end that was open last year) so we got to hike upstream for a bit! And found some nice ruins and trees and all sorts of fun things.

A long drive, but not a bad one, and we got home and got everything sorted out to take buddy all the way back to their home the next day and the camping was officially over.

Oh and also we almost missed a turn on the way home, and when I turned us around to go get it partner was Brutally Attacked by all of the luggage piled next to them and we had to pull over to dig him out and check he was okay

And two very nice separate old farm gents stopped beside us to ask if we were okay (two of the only three cars we saw on they road, not bad)

Overall: BIG Everything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong energy, but all things that we were able to fix by ourselves, which was a blessing. Buddy may be once again regretting coming hiking with us, because I don’t think it’s hiking if you don’t have to use your hands at least once and they don’t exactly climb hills on the day to day

(But we were SO nice to them and stuck to the proper trails almost all of the time and didn’t go do my favourite detour off the big rocky beach and climbing the cliffside or nothin!)

And my back only gave out a little bit yesterday after we got everything put away, and it’s fine now so overall? It coulda been worse.

But now I need a vacation to relax and recover from our vacation.

#not the very worst camping trip i’ve ever been on #we did have one where my mom twisted her ankle on top of a mountain on the first day in #and one when our car broke down the day we left so we had to hotwire it to start it every day of the roadtrip #camping adventures

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one-flower-one-sword · 10 months

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continuation from part 1

this is just after Lang Qianqiu has arrived and Hua Cheng has blocked the blast from his broadsword with E'ming. he's again standing at an angle with his seeing side facing them and E'ming mirroring his stance.

(as an aside, can we talk about how fantastic Hua Cheng's Chinese VA is? that respectful, warm, playful tone he uses when talking to Xie Lian versus the derision and mocking disdain with Lang Qianqiu. it's so layered but comes across so natural yet so intense, just wow)

now, Lang Qianqiu goes on the offensive. in response, Hua Cheng switches E'ming from his left to his right

I love the way Hua Cheng moves with E'ming, it shows that it's really a part of and an extension of himself; his body mirroring that defensive yet aggressive curve. also, personally speaking this is so far my favorite interpretation of what E'ming looks like. *Xie Lian waxing poetic about swords voice* it's imposing and dangerously sharp and fast, yet there's also that intense elegance to it, the jagged wildness of its edges offset by the pretty tassel on the hilt.

okay, moving right along. while at first it looks like Lang Qianqiu is going for Hua Cheng's left, he actually does a sort of spin before reaching him and then attacks his right, throwing his entire weight behind it.

I do think, given Lang Qianqiu's comments about honor and justice and sincerity - like when he objected to Shi Qinxuan's idea of Xie Lian deceiving Hua Cheng, since it's wrong to do that to friends even if they're Ghost Kings - that he's not purposefully doing this to take advantage of Hua Cheng's blind spot. he's a hothead and also really angry right now because Hua Cheng humiliated him in the gambler's den and just now mocked him again. this impulsiveness gets further underlined by the fact that he doesn't seem to realize what Xie Lian can in one look: he doesn't stand a chance against Hua Cheng. Shi Qingxuan also yells at him not to face E'ming head on, though since he isn't a martial god, that has less to do with him being able to accurately judge their different skill and power levels and likely more with E'ming's reputation.

Hua Cheng is facing Lang Qianqiu directly now rather than from an angle, and also has switched to putting his right foot forward since that's where he's holding his weapon now. while keeping his seeing side fixed on Lang Qianqiu, he draws his leg and E'ming back to then lunge forward and block off Lang Qianqiu's attack:

it looks like their weapons are already hitting each other here but it's the moment right before Xie Lian darts between them like lightning, pushes Lang Qianqiu's broadsword away and blocks off E'ming, though not without getting cut by the latter (in the novel, we learn that this likely happens because the random sword he'd snatched shatters upon impact with E'ming, which Xie Lian describes as a "force to be reckoned with", unlike Lang Qianqiu's "manageable" broadsword)

now, if Hua Cheng had been fighting for real here, Lang Qianqiu would have definitely been toast. first of all, Lang Qianqiu is facing off against a much more agile and versatile weapon than his own and seems to not know how to make up for that. judging by their positioning right before Xie Lian darts between them, Hua Cheng could have used the force of Lang Qianqiu's hit against him, letting it push E'ming down, then snapping it upwards and skewering Lang Qianqiu in two. the tragedy is of course that Xie Lian decides once more that it doesn't matter if he gets hurt as long as no one else does - creating the exact scenario Hua Cheng was trying to prevent. I'm about to hit image limit again, so we're left with Hua Cheng looking heartbroken that Xie Lian was injured by his own hand

this is the end of my analysis of 2x05. overall, I feel like the donghua reflects what can be gleaned from the novel - Hua Cheng's vast experience at compensating for and working with and around his blind spot in direct combat combined with his extremely high levels of skill and speed mean he can easily hold his own against his opponents (until Bai Wuxiang, that is). this doesn't erase his disability however; it's reflected in every choice he makes regarding the way he moves and positiones his body, and how that changes depending on his mood, his objective, and his surroundings.

#tgcf #tgcf donghua #hua cheng

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star-girl69 · 2 years

Text

I Loved You Like the Sun

a/n: help!!!! what should i do abt baby visenya?? option one: she lives option two: she dies option three: i edit my previous chapters and remove her from the plot

it’s just a lot of characters to juggle and i already have plans for this fic and tbh… she would just get in the way IM SORRY. i’m leaning towards just pretending she never existed 😭

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, violence, super long and boring speeches, mentions of death, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twenty One- Like You Mean It

—-

You have never wished more for Cannibal.

For the feel of his warm scales, his hot breath, he bright greens eyes boring into you. For his power, his majesty, his terrifying roars.

The king has not arrived, but you can feel the eyes of the Greens on you. You are the unknown variable, the wild card. They do not know you and you do not know them.

But the Hand’s eyes are the worst, you think. He digs into you, spiking through your skin, just enough to remind you he is there. Not outright threatening, but calculated, cold, observant.

Is he looking for a weakness, a low spot?

It is no secret that you have Daemon and Rhaenyra’s ear, that you are their treasure, their horde. And regardless of the dragon blood in you and the beast you ride, you weren’t raised to cultivate the fire in your blood. You were raised to tame it, to sweeten, to sweep away. To stick in people’s memory. You were a Honeyholt. That is how you were raised.

It would be wise for Otto to sway you to his plight, to convince you to whisper and Daemon and Rhaenyra’s ears. But your dragons know that truth as well. You are the weak spot.

They do not mean it in a cruel way, of course, it is just simply a fact. But the protection laden upon you- you do admit, it is nice to be the center of their attention again.

Finally, servants start to bring out the food.

Rhaenyra is silent next to you, only a place away from Alicent.

Before Rhaenyra had you, she had Alicent.

But Alicent had done cruel things to her- tension was thick in the air. You could tell Rhaenyra wanted to forgive her. But the scar on her arm stopped her, the memory of Alicent demanding Luke’s eye.

The tension eases, only slightly, when the door opens and Viserys is carried in on an ornate golden chair. You stand with the rest of the table, shoulder bumping with Daemon.

You sit again as he is placed down. The room is silent, all chatter ceased. Rhaenyra places a hand on your thigh, so much like her usual self now that Luke’s place is secure.

King Viserys let’s out a rasping breath.

“How good it is… to see you all tonight… together.” His voice is hoarse. He looks as he had every time you’ve seen him.

Like living is killing him.

“Prayer before we begin?” Alicent asks, and you look up from the empty plate before you.

“Yes,” Viserys rasps.

You do not know religious conventions. But, you do not want to cause ire, so your eyes flick around the room. Aemond, the boy with the eyepatch, keeps his hands out before him and his head bowed.

You copy him, hearing Daemon scoff. You close your eyes, no doubt he is not participating. you

“May the Mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the Smith mend the bonds that have been broken for so long. And to Vaemond Velaryon, may the Gods give him rest.”

You hear Daemon shift next to you, scoffing yet again.

“This is an occasion for celebration, it seems. My grandsons, Jace and Luke. Will marry their cousins, Baela and Rhaena.” The respective couples, each sitting next to each other, exchange small smiles.

Hope for them burns in your chest.

You shall even pray to the Seven, have Alicent herself teach you the ways, if it means they will be happy.

“A toast to the young Princes… and their betrothed.”

“Hear hear!” Daemon shouts, and the table lifts their glasses and drinks.

You see Aegon, the eldest Hightower, mumble something to Jace. But you are too far to hear. You see Baela shoot him a look, Jace set his glass on the table with perhaps more force than is necessary.

“Let us toast as well to Prince Lucerys… the future Lord of the Tides.”

“You’ll be great,” Rhaena assures him with a king smile, and he seems to relax. Everyone drinks, and you let out a pleased sigh of your own.

Mumbling rises throughout the table, Aegon, Baela and Jace keeping their voices just low enough.

But before your worry can grow, Viserys taps his cane onto the floor. He stands, with great effort, and you brace yourself for him to collapse. But, strenuously, he stands. The table is silent.

“It both… gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces most fear to me in all the world… yet grown so distant from each other… in the years past.”

He sighs, dropping his head. You feel Rhaenyra’s fingers dig into your knee, although not painfully. She stiffens when she realizes what she had done, pulling back. It is the first time she has touched you so casually in days, and you would rather she hurt you then leave you yearning for her.

The table holds in a breath when Viserys takes off his golden mask, the one covering half of his face. You have heard only rumors. You do not know what lies in wait.

He straightens, and turns to you.

It is skeletal. A gaping hole, filled of mutualistes flesh. He looks as if he is already dead. You bite back repulsion in your stomach, imagine his pain.

“My own face… is no longer a handsome one… if indeed it ever was. But tonight… I wish you to see me… as I am. Not just a king, but your father. Your brother. Your husband. Your good-brother… and your grandsire. Who may not, it seems… walk for much longer among you.”

He throws the mask to the table, the heavy gold clanking against the wood.

“Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But set aside your grievances.” He bangs his fist on the table, chest heaving, breaths fast. “If not for the sake of the crown… then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly.”

He sits, again with great effort, but Alicent attempts to placate him with a soothing hand, helping him to fix his golden mask. Something so beautiful, to hide unpleasantness beneath.

Suddenly, Rhaenyra stands with her glass raised.

You look up, expectant, hopeful, desperate for a glance of the woman you fell in love with.

“I wish to raise my cup to Her Grace, the Queen. I love my father. But I must admit that no one has stood… more loyally by his side than his good wife. She has tended to him with… unfailing devotion, love, and honor. And for that, she has my gratitude… and my apology.”

Alicent stares off into the distance for a moment, swallowing heavily. You think you see the sheen of tears in her eyes, but she hides it just as quick as they appeared.

“Your graciousness moves me deeply, Princess.” They share a tense glance, and you feel something within you. Something ugly. “We are both mothers… and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow.”

I am a mother, you want to scream, I love my children. This past, these secrets and intimacy they have hurt you. Rhaenyra does not talk about Alicent, about her mother. So you do not know. But Daemon knows, because he was there. You are alone in this marriage, in only some ways, an outsider to memories you will never hold.

The Queen stands, but you cannot look at her. “I raise my cup to you and to your house.” You hear the room quiet, imagine her breaths heavy in her chest. “You will make a fine queen.” She inhales deeply before you hear her sit.

Everyone grabs their glass, and you do as well. You raise it to your lips. You let the liquid rest against you, but you cannot find it in yourself to swallow it.

You look down to your hands, hear conversation and movement. You take a few moments to breathe, to stifle your foolish jealousy.

Until Jace slams his hands onto the table, standing.

He meets your eyes, and you see the anger, the fire, rife within him.

“J-”

But Aemond stands, and his haloed blonde hair draws you to silence.

Jace grabs his glass, clenches his jaw and softly hits Aegon, as if they were friends. He inhales deeply, raising his glass.

“To Prince Aegon and Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other in years. But I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family’s good health, dear uncles.” He sips, and you do as well, eyeing the brown-headed boy wearily.

“To you as well,” Aegon says, but his voice is forced.

Aemond looks around before sitting, and it is Helaena’s turn to stand.

You sigh, inwardly, sick of speeches.

“I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They’ll be married soon. It isn’t so bad. Mostly he just ignores you… except sometimes when he’s drunk.” Daemon laughs, and your heart twists. You scold him with a look, and he mumbles something before his smile drops.

It reminds you all too well of your time with your first husband.

“Let us have some music,” Viserys proclaims, and you almost rejoice.

You take another sip of your drink, until Jace’s voice brings you out of your reverie- memories of Lord Chamber’s plaguing you.

“Excuse me,” he says to Baela, before standing and walking over to Helaena. He extends his arm, and she looks shocked.

But soon they are jumping across the floor, dancing and twirling. You do not know Helaena, but you think her smile is genuine.

“I…” Viserys starts, turning to your end of the table. “I suppose there is a new member of our family I must meet. Properly.” His eyes fix on you. “Lady Y/N.”

“Oh, Your Grace, I- you are most kind.”

Rhaenyra grabs your hand, softly, tenderly, and turns towards her father.

“We love her,” she says, simply. As if it is a fact, something as simple as gravity.

You feel your cheeks heat, and Daemon’s presence against your back.

“Yes. She’s lovely, the best mother to our children.”

Viserys nods, looking over the three of you with his eyes.

“I wish you much happiness, you three. I hope you can find a bit of what I have found with my wif-wives.”

Rhaenyra laughs at a joke Daemon makes, and you let yourself forget about the past and focus on the present. You let Alicent fade to the back of your mind, and laugh with her.

“You seem much happier,” you tell her, “I’m glad.”

“I know,” she sighs, “I’m sorry for being such a… well, you know. The stress, my father, I…”

“You should have come to us,” Daemon whispers. You nod, lean forward to grab Rhaenyra’s hand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to burden you. I felt like I was sinking beneath the waves with the thought of what we might lose if I was not the queen. I couldn’t risk… I couldn’t live with myself if you or the children were hurt.” When she smiles, it is wobbly.

“I think we would much rather drown with you, yeah?” You say, and Daemon nods and agreement. He reaches forward, kisses his wife’s hand.

“What would I do without my handsome husband and my pretty wife?”

The three of you laugh, and the evening falls into joy.

This moment, this precious evening, feels like something precarious. Like tightroping over a spider web. Stitching pieces of glass together. It is beautiful, you think, and you never want it to end.

But it starts to crack when Viserys is lead off my by guards, groaning in pain.

The music steps and everyone stands as he is lead off, as the servants carry in a tray of pig.

You think the evening might continue on, smiling as Daemon insists you must kiss the wine out of his mouth, that it’s the best in these seven forsaken kingdoms.

Until Aemond slams his fist onto the table. You flinch, and you can feel Daemon’s mood immediately sour. You imagine him thinking, who is this boy to scare my wife? But don’t let the smile show on your face.

Aemond raises his glass.

“Final tribute. To the health of my nephews; Jace… Luke… and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise…” The room tenses as he pauses, Aemond working his jaw.

Do not say it, you think, bidding a fight not to start.

You know who the boy’s true father is. Rhaenyra told you in confidence, and you will take that truth to your grave. To question otherwise is… treason.

Your consider praying as Aemond opens his lips.

“Strong.”

“Aemond.” Alicent says, immediately. But he only turns to Jace and Helaena, still out on the open floor.

“Let us drain our cups to these three… Strong boys.”

“I dare you to say that again.” Jace tilts his jaw up, and you fix your skirts, ready to stand.

“Why? ‘Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself Strong?” The two stride forward, but instead of an answer, Aemond is met with a fist.

“Jace!” Luke shouts, standing up to help his brother, but Aegon slams him headfirst into the table.

You hear various screaming, but you are too wrapped up in instinct. You did not make these children, you did not make their fingers and toes, their hearts and brains. But you are their mother, and you are shaping them into the person they will be. That is equally important. That is what matters.

You gasp, evading Daemon’s hands, running towards Aegon and Luke. You stand next to them, hands out as if you wish to push the prince away. He looks at you, and eyebrow raised.

“Let him go!” You shout, not wished to be charged with treason today.

You hear the sound of a body hitting the floor, different from when Vaemond fell, and you turn around. Jace is getting to his knees, held back by a guard.

Aegon releases Luke, and you attempt to stop him as he reels to attack Aegon, but a guard runs forward to stop him. You see Rhaena holding Baela back, Alicent scolding Aemond.

“Though it seems my nephews are quite as proud of theirs.” Aemond suddenly raises his voice, and you do not know where your confidence comes from.

“You antagonized them! Do not play dumb, my prince. It does not suit you,” you hiss, imagining a snake drops from your lips and slithers over to bite him.

“But does it suit you, my Lady Chambers?” You gasp, fall back. It hurts more than you thought it would.

“Shut up!” Jace roars, breaking free from his captor and running at Aemond.

“Hey! Hey!” Daemon shouts, holding up a hand to stop Jace.

Rhaenyra grabs your arm, whispering into your ear.

But you do not hear her. You are rooted in place. Your eyes shut, filled with tears. You finally realize what Rhaenyra is saying.

“My love, my love, my love,” over and over, like a prayer, like a hymn. You wonder if Alicent would be proud.

“I- I am not that woman anymore-” You say, to no one and everyone.

“I know, I know. He does not know you. He does not know us. Don’t listen to him, my love, Y/N, don’t let him get into your head.” She presses a kiss to your temple. “Go to your quarters. All of you, know.”

“But-” You hear Luke starts.

“Your mother will be fine,” Rhaenyra says, and you hear footsteps fade.

You see Aemond walk off as well, after your tears and shock calm. You hadn’t been called that name in years. It was like someone had ripped out your heart. Reminded you of times you had blocked out, replaced with new memories.

You had ripped up that garden, replanted new seeds. You were a different flower, a different crop. No remnant of that past in your soil.

“Rhaenyra.” Alicent says, and you flinch at the emotion she pours into it.

“Come here,” Daemon says, and you latch onto his arm, throwing a look over your shoulder at Rhaenyra. Alicent walks close, and grab’s Rhaenyra’s arm. Your tears only fall all the much faster.

—-

Rhaenyra holds you in the quiet unfamiliar rooms. Daemon is elsewhere, finalizing plans for your departure.

“He does not know you,” she whispers, again. An echo.

“I know. It hurts the same.”

“Do not let it.” She noses into your hair, murmuring again. “My sweet girl, I’m so sorry.”

“You did not say it,” your assure her, but she only pulls you tighter to her. Your head on her chest, sure heartbeat beneath you. You want to fade into her, into the rhythm of her heart.

“When we get back to Dragonstone, I’ll buy you something pretty. Whatever you want. And I’ll get out of my duties, and we’ll fly. Syrax and I, you and Cannibal, Daemon on Caraxes. We can race, dance in the clouds.”

“I would love nothing more, Nyra.” You yawn, feel sleep come for you as quickly as Jace’s fists had to Aemond.

“You are our treasure.” She whispers, and you fade into her.

—-

In the darkness, through layers of cobweb and the thick smell of milk of the poppy; if you listen close enough, you can hear a man whisper. He says, “my love” with enough pain in his voice to make the stars cry. He does not speak again.

—-

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tarotoftheendless · 3 months

Text

Forever Waiting: Waiting for Forever 0.5 - Chapter Four

Forever Waiting

Summary:

Willie tries something new. Revelations come to light. The origin of Jules' band name is revealed.

Warnings/Tags:

Drinking alcohol. Mentions of an original character's death by unaliving themselves. An angsty fight that could feel all too familiar to those who have been in toxic controlling relationships. If I forget any warnings/tags that should be here, let me know and I will add them.

I want to thank @thoughtsfromlayla as being manned right now by the lovely @arunawayheart. Both these folks have been such an amazing help to me when writing this story. The love and encouragement I feel from the both of them is exactly what I needed to carry on with this passion project of mine.

Accounts Wanting to be Tagged:

@notyourwildestdream

If you want to join the tag list, let me know and I will tag you so you know exactly when a new chapter drops, and or new content for this project drops.

MASTER LIST/FIRST/PREVIOUS/NEXT

Chapter Title Card is done by me this time!

Chapter Four: The Promise

October 3rd, 2008

Taft, Pennsylvania

11:11pm

Jules’ POV

It's not that I don’t know he is there. It is more that I feel a sense of embarrassment go through my whole body that I am trying to suppress. Looking at him would break my resolve. I realize I just came out to Willie without having the chance to say, ‘Hey, bestie, yeah, I’m bisexual. Cool? Cool.’

Besides, I likely appear messy as fuck right now. Having to be at full energy fronting a band and the harshness of stage lights made me work up a sweat. The feeling of droplets making a path from my hairline down to my chin has me glad waterproof make-up exists. Willie on the other hand has this effortlessly sexy vibe to him in his red plaid hoodie and pajama pants. Always with the pajamas, but it suits him.

Feeling Willie’s eyes burning holes in the side of my face, I finally turn my attention towards him. I have to stifle a laugh as he just seems visibly uncomfortable. Shuffling closer to him, he leans away from me, his blue eyes reflecting in the low lighting, big as saucers.

My brow knits in concern and I glance over at Dean who is filling four shot glasses of Tequila for my band and I. Willie isn’t homophobic, is he? Worry sets in as I can tell he is studying me as if I grew antlers and a tail.

Brushing off the feeling, I know that can’t be it. Willie has always been so open to new ideas that are different in the past. I call out to Dean again, “Hey, babes, pour two extra. I wanna toast with my friend here.”

Dean makes a sound that lets me know he heard me and I lean over to Willie. “You know, if it is too loud in here, you can ask the bar for earplugs.” I say close to his ear and I swear I hear him take in a sharp breath. If not for his fixation on Emma, I would think it is me affecting him, but that couldn’t be it.

Willie leans towards my ear, his stubble tickling me in a way that makes me feel warm though very differently. “Yeah, I think I’d like that. I’ll ask.” He says, his voice low, almost husky, making me just want to kiss him on the spot. When he doesn't move away from my ear, my imagination goes wild. I almost wish he would just take my earlobe between his teeth and…

Instead, he spoke again, “I had no idea you could play like that. Jules, you’re amazing.” His breath is hot on my neck and I wonder if he even realizes what he is doing to me. His eyes dart down to my chest and part of me doesn’t know if he is looking at my sun tattoo or the claw marks. He seems like he wants to say something but I don’t give him the chance.

I lean towards his ear again. “Well, if you had written to me during high school, or I don’t know, visited, maybe you would have known that sooner, babe.” I am teasing him, but with the way he tenses up a bit, I know I struck a nerve that was still fresh for him. Feeling bad, I try to recover the low blow with a kiss to his cheek. Surprise comes over him, but he then smiles at me.

Dean then comes up to us on his side of the bar with a tray of six shots, salt, and lime wedges. He seems like he wants to say something, but another bar patron takes his attention away.

Smiling, I grab two shots, the salt, and a couple lime wedges, putting one of each in front of Willie. He cocks an eyebrow at me as he eyes the shot and then me. His quizzical expression makes me laugh. “Bitch, I want you to do a shot with me,” I shout over the noise in the pub.

Willie bites his lip. The uncertainty on his face almost makes me not catch that he has said something, though the loudness around us in the pub swallowed his words. Moving my body towards him again, I shout so he can hear me, “What?”

He moves closer to me again and says in a raised voice, “I’ve never had Tequila before.”

I can’t help but giggle. I meet his eyes with a sudden seriousness, my hand reaching for his on his lap, to which he tenses at. “Would you like to have your first shot with me then?” My thumb gently brushes the top of his hand, and I can just feel him relax to my touch.

Slowly he gestures ‘yes’ with his head, quirking a smile at me, albeit a cautious one. Whispering the instructions in his ear, Willie continues to nod his understanding. I show him to wet the top of his hand between his thumb and pointer finger with his lime wedge, then to shake some salt there from the shaker. After we are both properly salted, I ask him, “You ready, sweet summer child?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, moon child,” is his only response. With that he closes his eyes and quickly licks salt off his hand, causing me to need to catch up with how fast he is doing this.

We both do our shots at the same time, but whereas I am more calm about it, Willie seems frazzled as he practically slams the empty shot glass down. His nose is all scrunched up along with his eyes as he tries to handle his first shot of Tequila. It is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life.

He grasps for his lime wedge, sucking it for all that it is worth. Lazily, I take my lime wedge between my lips, casually biting into it, drinking down the tart juices.

Setting my wedge on the tray of other shots I am gonna take to my bandmates in a moment, I watch Willie just completely destroy his lime wedge. Laughing, though I am concerned, I reach out to Willie again and ask, “Willie? You gonna be okay?”

Frantically he nods, though I notice a tear escaping his left eye. Seeing him like this just makes me want to take him into my arms and to kiss away any and all discomfort he may be feeling. Instead I lean close to him again and say, “Well, I gotta go back to my band. They need libations of their own and we have a few more songs to play for everyone. You sure you are gonna be okay here?”

Willie hasn’t stopped moving his head up and down to the point that I almost think it’s a tic but when he breathes out a husky ‘yes… I’m fine’, I can’t help but smile.

Seeing Dean out of the corner of my eye, I shout, “Hey, Dean, another water over here, please and thank you!”

Dean grunts in response but starts to do as I say.

Sliding off my stool, I grab the tray of shots. Making a point to catch Willie’s gaze again, I wink at him before turning to walk through the crowd of folks all drinking and waiting for my band and I to start playing again. Smiling to myself, I swear I see Willie blush before I turn around.

Rachel and the guys – Cole my drummer and Zach my keyboardist – are standing on the side of the stage around a tall table, clearly waiting for me to come back with the shots.

“Took you fuckin’ long enough, I think I got sober just watching you flirt with the guy in, what are those, pajamas?” says Zach, who is always high or buzzed when I see him. After the one time I saw him sober, I almost preferred him under the influence.

Rolling my eyes, I set the tray on the table and set to wetting my hand with a new lime wedge.

“Yeah, Julie, who’s the hottie? Think he likes men?” Cole pipes up, twirling his long black fringe as he looks in Willie’s direction.

Rachel scoffs before I can answer and says, “That’s Willie.”

I almost take my shot before them as Cole and Zach give each other a bugged eyed look.

“That’s Willie? The Willie?” asks Cole as he leans towards me, hoping to hear all the juicy gossip.

“Yes, shit for brains, that’s Willie. And never fucking call me Julie ever again if you’d like to keep your balls, got it?” I growl at Cole. He gives me his most offended expression he can, hand over his chest and everything.

“Dean is practically glaring at your boy, Jules,” Zach informs me. I don’t need to look, I already know.

Rachel shifts so she is close to my ear. “Does he know? About you know… the sex? His name?”

Shoving Rachel away, I glare at her. “No, of course not. But I am now realizing that might be inevitable…”

Zach and Cole are holding their breath, as if they are waiting to be let in on the secret. Groaning, I grab my shot and use it to point at the both of them. “Willie is hardly my boy, Zach. He’s in love with Emma, remember? And as for Dean? Well, he likes to think he owns me, but he doesn’t. I’ve got it handled. Just drop it.”

Both Cole and Zach put their hands up in surrender while Rachel is giving me an ‘uh huh, sure…’ look. Choosing to ignore her, I raise my shot.

“We have a kick-ass show to put on, guys, let’s take our shots and fucking do just that!” I shout, encouraging them to toast with me.

The boys relent, and get ready to take their shots with me. Rachel is slow to commit to the bit. When she finally concedes, her wary stare burns a hole between my eyes.

The DJ MC is hyping us up again and I know that’s our queue to hurry the fuck up.

“Suicidal Wyrms!” I chant, downing my shot. The others follow suit, exclaiming with me. We suckle our limes and then make our way back to the stage with the crowd cheering us on.

The guys get into position, Rachel hands me my guitar and I slip the strap back onto my shoulder. Striding up to the mic, my fingers wrap around the pole of it, my lips touching the surface with a smile.

“Awww! Did you miss us?” I ask in my most sultry voice, which was met with an instant roar of applause.

“I suppose we have a few more songs to play for y’all, right guys?” I ask my band and they all give me their affirmative answers in the form of shouts and whistles.

“Well, y’all better be in the dancing mood, or really just the mood, ‘cause we are about to crank up the fucking heat!” With that Cole starts the beginning drum sequence for ‘Blue Monday’, our own synthy metal cover.

Letting myself get lost in the music, my focus is more on giving the crowd a performance that they will remember in the weeks, if not months to come. I handle my electric guitar as if she is my baby and the mic as if it is my lover. The perfect balance of leading my band in the dark sexual spell we are weaving and lulling the people into submission with our witchcraft. The sensual movements of my body are very much intentional.

My guitar solo is where my mind wanders for a moment. Closing my eyes as the flashing red and blue lights move back and forth across the stage, my thoughts are filled with Willie. In my head, I see the vignette of Dean and I from earlier, but instead of it being Dean, Willie is in his place.

Shock courses through me so hard that it brings me back to the present moment as I finish my guitar solo. The crowd is cheering and dancing. Shaking off the feelings I was having, I usher my band towards the end of the song.

After playing a few more songs with so much energy that I am sweating harder than before, I pause for dramatic effect, allowing the audience to praise us.

“We have one more song for you before Mike, our fan-fucking-tastic DJ, takes over for the rest of the evening! Thank you so much for having us back here to play for y’all! It’s been fucking real!” I shout into the mic and the crowd erupts.

My eyes meet Rachel’s and she nods. The weight of many unspoken emotions come to the surface as I let my guitar fall slack on my shoulder, trying to center myself as I breathe in, ready for the fall that was surely about to follow.

“If you need a friend, don’t look to a stranger! You know in the end, I’ll always be there! And When you’re in doubt, and when you’re in danger, take a look all around, and I’ll be there!” I begin, following Zach’s intro on the keyboard. Cole comes in with Rachel after that in our more emotional arrangement of this song.

“I’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say!” I sing. Holding the mic with both hands, my eyes close and I feel everything all at once as words fall from my lips.

“I promise you!” Rachel sings back up, strumming her bass in rhythm.

“I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be!” My voice almost quivers but I hold the notes.

“I promise you!”

“But if you wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me!”

“I promise you!”

“I promise, I promise you, I will!”

My eyes remain closed. The fear of them finding Willie’s across the bar, even with the lights flashing in my face, grips the very heart of me. Will he know that I am singing about us? What I have always hoped for and felt? I hope so… but also I hope not. He is so pure and beautiful and I feel like I am just too broken for him to even want.

Zach, Rachel and Cole are accompanying me perfectly, allowing all of us to feel the raw emotion of the music. The audience is captivated. As I reopen my eyes, I can see many have taken out lighters and are holding them up for us.

“I gotta tell ya! Need to tell ya! Gotta tell ya! I’ve gotta tell ya!” I belt as I feel a tear fall from the corner of my eye, bleeding in with the sweat from the heat of the stage lights.

We finish out our last song and the crowd is riotous. Their vigor snaps me out of my emotions for a moment.

“Thank y’all for being such a fucking rad audience! We’re Suicidal Wyrms! Have a fuckin’ good night!” I yell into the mic as another round of applause begins.

Rachel and the guys are already getting gear together to start to take our instruments off the stage. I notice Dean storm out from behind the bar looking angry as fuck as he heads to the side door towards the alley.

I hand Rachel my guitar, which earns me a questioning look. “Dean’s pissed… again.” I offer as an explanation. Rachel rolls her eyes when I brush past her down the stage steps. We both know what this is likely about.

Pushing through the crowd, who seem to be content to shift their attention to their drinks and whatever music the DJ has put on, I attempt to make my way to the side door to follow after Dean.

“Jules!” I hear to my left and I realize it is Willie yelling to get my attention.

Stopping in front of the door, Willie catches up with me, almost out of breath. He takes out an earplug. I guess he asked the bar, likely Dean, for a pair after all.

“Yes, Willie? I’m a bit busy at the moment…” I start but he interrupts me.

“Yeah… about that… I think something I said might have upset the bartender. Is he your boyfriend?” Willie whisper-shouts into my ear to be heard over the DJ’s music.

Scoffing, I whisper-shout back, “Fuck no, Dean just likes to think he owns me, that’s all.”

Reaching out, Willie’s fingertips touch the top of the claw marks on my chest, causing me to pull away an inch. His eyes study the bruises, then my tattoo, only to finally meet my gaze. “Is that what that is?” He asks with sadness in his voice.

“Willie, go home. It’s late and I have too much to fucking deal with right now rather than worrying about you judging me on who I spend my time with.” It comes out more harsh than I mean it to. I see that same shock and hurt wash over Willie as I did back in the summer of 1999.

Before Willie can say a word, I open the door that leads to the alley, walking through it. It slams shut on his face. If I had dared to look back, I know I would have seen concern and worry painting his features.

The air is a bit cooler outside now that it is after midnight. Dean is pacing back and forth by my band’s van, cigarette in hand, bottle of whiskey in the other.

“Were you ever gonna tell me? Huh? Jules? Were you ever gonna fucking tell me?” Dean seethes as he paces, taking a drag, then a swig, not meeting my eyes.

Opening the passenger side door of the van, I fish out a lighter and pack of Camels. Not my favorite brand, but it will do. Lighting up my own cigarette, I close the van door, then lean up against it. Sighing out a plume of smoke, I know I don’t need to ask what he means, but I ask anyway. “Tell you what, Dean?”

Taking another hit, Dean is practically sneering at me. “Do you really think I am that fucking stupid, Jules? Huh? You are such a fucking bitch, you know that?” He tips back the whiskey bottle, gulps down more than a shot before he continues. “Willie? That guy out there, that you were getting all cozy with right in front of me? He told me his name is Will Donner. That’s Willie, right? The fucking name you moan like a bitch in heat every time you cum on my fucking cock? He’s a real fucking person and you didn’t have the balls to fucking tell me before I had the pleasure of meeting the jack-off himself!”

Dean just goes off, not letting me say a word. The moment he almost throws the bottle of whiskey at the brick wall across from him is when I leap into action to take the bottle from him.

“You just had to grab the most expensive bottle, didn’t you? Jack is gonna be pissed that he’ll have to replace it so soon,” I say, trying to defuse the situation. Dean gives me a look of disgust as he pulls away from me, leaving me with the whiskey.

Taking a drag and then a swig with the bottle, I sigh. “I wasn’t expecting you two would even talk, Dean.”

“Are you fucking serious? Even the bouncer knew he was supposed to be here and you knew I was working tonight! Are you that fucking selfish?” Dean snaps as he gets in my face, glaring down at me.

I would have kissed him and fucked him right in this alley, but Dean struck a nerve. “Selfish? I’m selfish? Fuck you, Dean! You are fucking half the women that are in there and you are calling me selfish? That’s so fucking rich coming from you!”

“Those women are nothing!” Dean taunts.

“Do they know that? Jesus, fuck Dean, why does it fucking matter if Willie is a real person?” I ask, taking another drink from the bottle. I did not want to be sober anymore.

“Because you want him! Don’t even fucking deny it! You want him!”

“Why does that matter?”

“You don’t want me!”

Hearing Dean say that takes me aback. Taking a drag, I breathe out the smoke before I answer him. “No, I don’t want you. I never did, Dean. That was the point.”

He gets closer to me, his eyes almost pleading with me as he gazes down at me. “You love him, don’t you?”

I am too stunned to speak. Dean steps away, breaking eye contact, making a sound of bored annoyance. “Guess that’s my answer then. Fuck.” He takes another hit, blowing out the smoke.

Pressing my back up against the van again, I watch Dean carefully. “Why do you even want me, Dean? We had an agreement. No attachment.”

He sighs, his blue eyes meet mine. “Because you don’t want me. It’s refreshing.” Finishing his cigarette, he drops the butt onto the ground, putting it out with the heel of his boot. “You know what, Jules? Lose my number. And don’t look for me.” He says as he starts to walk away down the alley, ditching the rest of his shift.

I am left there in the alley, on this cool October night, with a bottle of whiskey. “Fuck it,” I say to myself, bringing the opening of the bottle to my lips, and beginning to chug. The burn both hurts and feels good. If I can’t fuck my way out of this, I can at least not be sober anymore. ************************************************************************

Sunday, June 13th, 1999

Taft, Pennsylvania

2:13pm

Jules’ POV

Willie had just gotten back into town the day before, but much of the excitement was dampened by the fact that it was still raining yesterday. The rain only let up a couple hours ago, and the heat started to set in.

Joey wasn’t interested in going outside as Dee was gonna come over to watch a movie with him in a bit, but he had suggested that Willie and I get some fresh air if we were feeling that restless.

Of course, Willie had written both Joey and I all year, especially after what happened had happened, but we haven’t really talked-talked about much of anything out loud since the summer before.

My dad had almost tried to cancel Willie’s summer with us, telling his aunt and uncle that we were all still grieving. Dad rarely listened to me anymore, hell, he couldn’t even look at me anymore. However, I had overheard Joey tell dad that it would break my heart more if Willie didn’t stay with us this summer.

I didn’t really like Joey speaking for me, but he was right. The loneliness I had been feeling for months had eased some when Willie had shown up. He hadn’t said a word, just took me into his arms, whispering to me that it was okay if I cried. I didn’t cry though. I just breathed Willie in, letting his very scent calm me down.

Now we were walking around the neighborhood, both of us in shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. My hair was in a messy bun, though I wanted to shave my head entirely because of how hot it suddenly had become. Willie’s hair was shaggy and a mess, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about putting my fingers through it.

We walked in silence for a long while, just doing laps. I don’t think either of us knew what to say. Willie had lost both his parents, so I knew he understood to some extent how I was feeling. He also seemed to understand that this was affecting me much differently than his loss had affected him. Willie was trying to be as considerate as possible, given the circumstances.

After lap five, his hand found mine, and I truly thought that was his way of letting me know that he knew I was in my head too much. It made my heart tighten in my chest. He was trying to be an anchor for me like I had always been for him. If I could have fallen any more in love with him, I would have.

When he decided to break the silence, it almost startled me. “Have you noticed all the burned up worms on the road? What’s that about?”

I almost laughed at the innocence of the topic. “Well, they likely were enjoying the moisture of the rain on the asphalt, but when the sun came out, the droplets magnified and fried them.” I stated matter-of-factly.

Willie considered my answer and then said, “Surely, they had to know that would happen. Unless of course they did know and they were suicidal.”

The moment he had said the word, we both tensed up, stopping in our tracks on the sidewalk.

“Jules, I…” Willie started but I finally just broke, falling to my knees on the sidewalk, sobs racking through my body uncontrollably.

Willie dropped to his knees next to me, wrapping me up in his arms. My head tucked up under his chin and he kissed the top of my head as he held me. He didn’t tell me to shush though, or that I would be okay. He just kept saying ‘I know, I know, I know,’ over and over again. And he was right. He did know this kind of pain.

As my sobs started to lighten up, we both fell into silence for a few minutes. Not only was my face wet and my eyes raw, but we both felt a bit sweaty just holding each other in the middle of the sidewalk,

“I’m sorry about your mom, Jules,” Willie finally whispered to me.

My lips still against his now very damp tank top, I said, “I know, Willie, I know.”

He held me for a couple more minutes before we let each other go. He stood first, offering his hand to me to help pull me to my feet. Intertwining our fingers, we continued to walk down the sidewalk hand in hand.

“Suicidal worms? That’d make an awesome band name.” I finally said, thoughtfully.

Willie seemed stunned at first that I could just say that casually after breaking down like I had. Though when he saw me smiling at him, even if that smile didn’t quite reach my eyes, he relaxed a bit, smiling back at me.

“Yeah? I heard your music lessons were going well.”

Blushing, I asked, “Where did you hear that from?”

Willie laughed and said, “Joey told me, in his letters to me. I’m not sure why you’re embarrassed by it, Joey says you’re a natural.”

“Joey’s full of shit most of the time,” I blew Willie’s comment off.

Willie stopped us on the sidewalk again and caught my gaze. “Jules, don’t dismiss your gifts like that. If there is one thing you got from your mom, it’s her musical talent. Honor her memory by owning that for yourself.”

It was my turn to be stunned. We were only fourteen years old and here Willie was speaking with wisdom beyond his years. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but I didn’t. He was only focusing on me right now because my mom was dead. If it wasn’t for that, he would be gushing about Emma.

I don’t speak, but I nodded my acceptance of his words, hoping that would be enough for him to believe. He seems to take it and let us walk on, still hand in hand.

“You’ll have to play for me one day, Jules.”

“If I am half as good as you assume I am, Willie, maybe I will.”

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