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ironcaptainnataliabarnes · 5 years

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Red Roses (A Harry Hook x Reader/OC)

A/N: I am so glad there are people reading and enjoying this! As long as there's someone out there who wants more of this story, I'm here to happily comply. Please let me know if there are any errors and I will fix them. I will try to update as much as possible, phew story writing is hard guys lmao. Thank you all again and I hope you stay for this journey!

Summary: Ruby Hearts, daughter of the infamous Queen of Hearts, was abandoned by her mother when she was young and forced to live with her father, the King of Hearts, in Auradon. Harry Hook himself may be the only one who finds her madness enchanting. Will Ruby find her self falling for the rugged pirate, or will the roses bleed red?

Prologue / Chapter 1: Down the Rabbit Hole / Chapter 2

Ruby's paintbrush glided over the wallpaper, leaving red strokes in its path. A small music system played softly in the background. Even after already attending Auradon Prep for a year, her room always needed something to hide the pretty-pink-princess-ness of it underneath, and merely changing the horrendously colored bed covers were not enough. She had taken to painting over the single colored wallpaper, her first time being a large pocket-watch with elaborate patterns that no one else ever heard tick-tocking the days away.

Prince Ben himself had given Ruby the paints after having noticed her in Art 101; the mindless mutterings and frantic look in her eyes seemed to fade when a paintbrush was in her hand. She was thankful for him showing up to her dorm room that day, bottles upon bottles of paint in haul, a kind smile on his face.

However, nothing ever fully quenched the illusions she had. Some days the walls were frozen, so close to shattering, others she was drowning in red, red blood. Of course, there were good days as well: being outfitted by Evie, playing catch with Dude and Carlos, watching Mal trip over her own two feet.

The tiny King of Hearts, Ruby's father, had decided to send her to Auradon the same time the VK's arrived. He assumed that the terrible villain kids would mask the aura of 'mad' surrounding his daughter just by being from the Isle themselves. It had worked, for a time. While Jay and Carlos were kind enough to her, Evie took Ruby under her wing, making sure she was always included. Mal was a different story though; Ruby had no idea why, but one of the voices in her head told her that the daughter of Maleficent was the wrong sort for her.

Fitting in became the wrong choice halfway through her first year; no one wanted to share a dorm with the 'crazy girl'. No one dared bother her while she was attending the roses in Auradon Prep's garden in fear of having their heads offed. No one even deemed her worthy of a friend, seeing her crazy ramblings as a sort of disease, even thought most times she was perfectly sane at having conversation.

But now was the beginning of a new year, things will be different she mused to herself as she dipped her paintbrush back into the blood red paint. She hummed to herself as she did so, completely blissful in the peace of the dorm, trying oh-so hard to not remember the memories that haunted her everyday. To not realize how this red paint almost matched perfectly with the blood that dripped onto a dead lawn all those years ago.

Ruby's focus was dropped by her door suddenly slamming open and she hissed in anger when her paintbrush slipped from its course. Her hand found a pen that was among her art materials around her, and promptly turned and flung it towards the open door. She missed of course, she always does, as could be told from the multiple shallow holes in the wall near her dorm room door.

"Whoa! Calm down there, Red!" Jay exclaimed from her doorway, Carlos was there with him and he seemed unfazed as he pulled the pen out of the wall and tossed it back to Ruby.

She caught it and placed it on the floor before grabbing her small towel to dab off the smear of imperfection before it dried forever on her wall.

"Thank you for ruining my lovely painting. If paintings could cry, this one would be because you nearly destroyed it," she huffed at the boys, who still stood out of breath in her doorway.

"You're supposed to be with us and the Welcome Committee, Ruby. The new VK's are showing up today," Carlos reminded her, matter of factually.

She cursed under her breath. She totally forgot about the new kids arriving today. I wonder, are their heads too big? Or perhaps too small? What a shame if they don't have heads at all. Ruby shook her head, clearing the voices as she stood and brushed off her outfit, a simple thigh-length black dress matched with heart stockings, and stumbled to put on a pair of red heels.

"Right, yes, the new VK's. Welcoming to the committee...erm, I wasn't supposed to do anything, was I?" She asked while trying to make her hair look somewhat decent. Even though it was lovely, the tips of her deep black hair being a rosy red, it was a mess nearly everyday of the week.

"Nope, just show up and smile," Jay quipped at her as she closed the door, viewing the bleeding rose on her wall one last time before hurrying with the two boys outside.

The trio made it too the entrance of the school right as a black limousine pulled up. The boys led Ruby to where Evie was standing before running to find other friends.

"Hey, Ruby," Evie greeted her, ever present smile on her face.

"Hey, Evie," Ruby responded, cautiously looking around to see if her somewhat dunce of a father came to see the new kids.

Evie looked at the girl and gestured to her face. "You've got a bit of paint there," the blue haired girl said, just as the doors to the limo opened.

"Oh, um...thanks," Ruby replied and used the back of her hand to wipe the paint away, only to succeed in smearing it over her cheek.

"Welcome to Auradon!" Fairy Godmother's voice carried over the cheering crowd, effectively ending the fanfare as well. "Allow me to introduce you to King Ben and his girlfriend Mal!"

Ruby glanced and caught sight of said couple, glaring when she noticed Mal looking at her. Too small head. No hat would ever fit her, one of the voices in Ruby's head commented. She shook out her thoughts and gasped in surprise when Evie pulled her forward. She missed nearly the entire conversation that was happening and had zero idea why Evie decided to announce her presence.

"Fairy Godmother," Evie said to the overly cheerful woman, "Even though I would absolutely adore showing our newest guests around, I think it would be an even BETTER idea to let Ruby do it!" She exclaimed, nearly bouncing with happiness at her grand scheme.

"What- no, Evie it's fine I gotta-" Before Ruby could finish her sentence Fairy Godmother cut her off.

"OH what a wonderful idea!! Ruby, these are our new students, Uma, Gil, and Harry! I do hope you all make great friends! Now, if you'll excuse us, class is waiting! The doors of wisdom are never shut!"

And with that Fairy Godmother gestured for everyone back to the school, but of course Audrey would never leave without having a few words first. As the brunette passed by Ruby she sneered "Of course, let the mad girl give the villains a tour, what a perfect match!"

Ruby paid her no mind, instead wondering what it would be like if she offed with her-

Ben gave Ruby a pat on the shoulder, silencing her vicious thoughts and gave her a good luck smile before walking with Mal back into the school. Ruby huffed and prepared herself and turned around to greet her newest friends.

She stared for only a second, muttering under her breath about their seemingly normal sized heads before she gave a smile and spread out her arms.

"Well, welcome to Boradon, where the princes are far from charming and the only color the people know of is 'pretty princess pink.'"

A dark skinned girl with light blue hair snorted at Ruby's introduction, while the boys laughed, giving a nod to the girl. "Amazing, someone who lives here who hates this place as much as we do. I'm Uma, daughter of Ursula," she gave her hand out for a shake (which Ruby accepted) and gestured to the two boys next to her. "This is Gil, and Harry."

Ruby smiled at the two boys, some forlorn memory tugging at the back of her mind, telling her she knew this girl, her thoughts turning at the name 'Harry'.

Harry's eyes raked over her before taking a few steps towards her, "Well well well," he said, his accent pulling memories out from Ruby's head. "It seems ye may have made a bit of a mess, lass," he said, licking his thumb and wiping off the smeared paint from Ruby's cheek. One of her eyebrows raised in question, though she definitely felt the heat rising to her face.

"Um..."

Uma rolled her eyes and gave a smack to the back of Harry's head, earning a shout of protest from the boy. Still, Ruby couldn't help but feel she stared into those same blue eyes before...

"Let's get this tour thing started!" Gil exclaimed, oblivious to the somewhat awkward/intimate moment

"Right, uh, this way," Ruby once again shook away her confusion, ignoring the way the sun reflected off her red heels and making it seem as though they were bleeding. She turned and led them into the school.

"Now, normally I'd have to tell you the history of our esteemed school, but honestly it's just of bunch of nonsense. Some king went 'wow I would be super cool if I made a school for royalty' and so he did a got a commemorative statue because of it." Ruby talked as she led the group into the main foyer.

"Sounds about right," Uma commented, spinning in a slow circle as she took in the school.

"Woah!" Ruby turned and saw Gil gently petting a potted plant, "What is this? It's so green!"

"That's, uh, that's a plant," Ruby answered him, slightly amused by his reaction to said plant. "There's a whole garden out the back way. It's a lot more interesting than showing you the useless classrooms in here."

Uma and Harry didn't get a chance to respond as Gil took off, a smile on his face. Ruby stayed where she was and called out to him, "Wrong way!"

Once outside, Gil ran off into the bushes of flowers, Harry running to catch up to the boy. Uma stayed behind, walking the pathway with Ruby.

"I never got to thank you," the dark-skinned girl spoke.

"Thank...me?" Ruby questioned, before her mind flooded with memories of a small crying girl that she never got to console. "Oh, um."

Uma looked at her, her face sincere, "No really, thank you. No one ever...No one's ever tried to be there for me when I'm not feeling myself. And that day was, uh, particularly bad," she confessed.

"Oh...well, you're welcome. I never...had friends when I was little, and I just wanted to be nice I guess. The flowers never wanted me to have friends, they were not so nice," Ruby told her.

"Right," Uma nodded, slightly confused but thankful nonetheless. "I'm glad to see you out of that hellhole, too. I mean, the Isle was bad but your mother..I can't even imagine."

Ruby let her fingers dance across the daisy's as the two girls walked. She tried to not dwell on memories of the past, of that house, that woman. "Thanks. Things are better here, I guess. The walls may freeze, and the momwraths outgrabe, but if you know where you're going then it doesn't really matter at all."

Uma was spared a response when the two caught up with Harry and Gil, ironically where the rosebushes were. Ruby's body froze when she noticed Harry gripping a rose, almost as if he were about to pluck it off the bush.

"Don't!" She yelled, running and pushing the pirate away from her beloved roses. After checking the rose was okay, she turned to Harry, her finger pointing at him in accusation. "Don't you make the roses angry, you make them angry and broken and then they bicker nonstop and I'm the only one that has to deal with it."

"Whoa there, lass, 's just a wee flower,"Harry's hands went up into the air with a slight smirk on his face, one hand gripping a metal hook. A hook, how had Ruby not noticed it before. Her eyes widened at the glinting metal, the face of a younger boy clouding her mind.

"Just, don't touch my roses," She glared at him once more, Uma giving him an 'I told you so' look, before turning and leading them away from the gardens and to the tourney field.

The team was outside at practice when the small group arrived, and Ruby noticed Jay and Carlos waving to get her attention. The two boys ran to her, smelling like wet dog yet smiling like idiots.

"Hey, Red," They both greeted, out of breath.

Harry behind her scoffed. "This it? Tourney is a wee lad's game, with their little pointy sticks."

"That's because their lads are a bit wee," Ruby responded, smiling at Harry.

A weird look was shared among the others when suddenly Gil freaked out. He bent down as Dude strolled up, patting the dog happily. "What is this!!!!"

Jay and Carlos chuckled. "That's Dude, my dog," Carlos said.

"Wow," Gil said, amazed. "Dogs are cool."

"Wait 'till you see a zoo," Jay told him.

"A zoo?"

"Okay," Uma cut in, "As much as I enjoy..." she gestured to the group, "I think I'd like a bed a hell of a lot more."

"Right, well, we gotta get back to practice," Carlos nodded, running back to the team.

"See ya around," Jay said to Ruby (but mostly to Gil) as he followed suit.

"Back inside we go then," Ruby announced and led the trio indoors.

"Funny thing is," she said as they made it to the dorm quarters. "No one tells me a thing, so I have zero idea where your rooms are."

"'S alright," Harry answered, seemingly trying to break into one of the rooms. "We'll just pillage some for our own selves," his eyes glinted mischievously.

"That won't be necessary."

The four turned towards the voice, and Ruby was relieved to see it was only Ben.

"We already have rooms chosen out for you," he said, smiling and giving a quick wink to Ruby. "This way."

The group followed, and Ruby almost missed the way Harry's eyes glared into the back of Ben's head. Ben stopped right in front of Ruby's dorm, and opened a door right across from hers. "This will be for Harry and Gil," he stated, "And Uma, you're the next door down the hall. As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I've got a meeting to attend. It was nice to meet you all."

And with that he turned and marched back down from where they had came, leaving Ruby speechless and dumbfounded.

"Well, see ya, girl. I'm going take a well deserved nap," Uma said, smiling at Ruby before walking to her room.

Ruby opened the door to her room as Harry and Gil turned into their own. She quite literally kicked off her heels and walked to where she painting earlier that day. She let her hands gently glide over the bleeding rose, checking the paints dryness. She missed Harry sneaking in behind her, leaning on the door frame.

"Ye paint," he stated abruptly, making Ruby jump and spin towards the voice, wishing she had a pen to throw.

"Thank you, captain obvious. I do paint, what about it?" she told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

He tutted her, shaking his finger as he stepped closer to her. "Uma's the cap'n, lass. I'm 'er first mate. And, ye paint well."

Ruby became flustered and uncrossed her arms to scratch the back of her head. "Um, thanks." She suddenly pointed to the pocket watch painting, "Do you hear it, too?"

Instead of answering, Harry's hand whipped out and grabbed onto Ruby's wrist, causing her to stumble closer to him. The tip of his hook gently ran over the line of her scar, the one she tried every day to ignore.

"I know ye," he whispered, blue eyes boring into her own.

"I know you too," she whispered back, visions of the unspoken day prodding her brain

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but a knock at Ruby's open door made the two jump away from each other.

"Hey!" It was Evie, eyes sparkling with another scheme. "I'm throwing a dinner party for our newest VK's. Ruby, you're invited too, of course!" She exclaimed.

Harry and Ruby went into the hallway where Gil and Uma were already waiting. Uma gave a questioning look to the two. Harry's eyes cleared, his regular mischievous demeanor returning.

"Finally, food! I am famished!" he announced.

Gil bounced on his heels. "Is it like a food party? I've never been to a party. And with food! This place is amazing!"

Uma rolled her eyes at the boys and Ruby let out a small giggle.

"This way!" Evie said, guiding the group down the hall. They met up with Mal and Ben, Jay and Carlos, as well as Doug and Jane. Ruby couldn't help but feel that this was going to be a very uncomfortable tea party.

#harry hook x reader #harry hook #harry hook lemon #harry hook x reader lemon #harry hook smut #harry hook x reader smut #harry hook x oc #harry hook descendants

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chloebeale · 5 years

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AT PEACE (Bechloe drabble)

Short, angsty af little drabble taken from this prompt.

Summary: PP3 AU (shout out to @isthemusictoblame for the setting and also for calling me a demon when proof-reading) in which Beca and Amy are the ones held hostage, and the Bellas are none the wiser. Beca knows she doesn’t have much time, but she has to talk to Chloe. She has to finally tell Chloe how she feels.

Warnings for angst, blood, death and just a lot of sadness honestly.

Words: 2K.

They say the Kübler-Ross model applies to those terminally ill. Those who know they’re dying, but are struggling to accept it.

There are five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance.

Beca has never thought much into it at all. Why would she? She’s twenty-two years old, she’s healthy, she has no reason to think about the cruel hands of death reaching so carelessly out to her, dragging her in much earlier than her time.

It surprises her, though, as she lay on the cold, hardwood floor of the.. whatever room this is, that those five stages all seem to come and go at once. It takes her all of thirty seconds to deny that that sharp pain in her side could’ve come from a knife puncturing through her skin, hitting vital organs, to feeling angry at the coward rushing from the room with his calloused hand covering his bearded face, eyes wide as if in complete disbelief.

He was the one wielding a fucking knife, she thinks, how does he seem so surprised?

Beca doesn’t believe in God. At least, she doesn’t think she does. But she finds herself silently begging someone, anyone, to wake her from what she wants to call a nightmare. She wishes so hard that she could snap her eyes open and she’d wake in her hotel bed, that ugly wallpaper hanging up before her, and her only issue that of breaking the news to the other girls that Khaled had chosen her. Not the Bellas... Just her.

The tears come not forty seconds later. They stain her cheeks, rolling silently down pale skin. Beca is positioned on her side, gravity doing its job as salty liquid begins to pool on the ground beneath her.

Ten seconds later and she’s moving a bloody hand from the gaping wound on her side, the one that doesn’t hurt anymore. Only a minute ago, she’d claim that she’d never felt pain like it, but now it just feels... Numb. She feels numb. And as her fingers stretch to the iPhone in her back pocket, screen cracked from the impact of the fall -- something Beca could’ve sworn had happened in slow motion, but the state of her screen would call her a liar -- she isn’t thinking about it at all.

She isn’t paralyzed with fear, she isn’t begging whoever is up there to let her wake from this hellish nightmare.

Instead, all she’s thinking about is Chloe.

It’s stupid. It’s so fucking stupid. Her body feels limp, cold. She’s literally dying, yet all she can think about is flaming red hair and ocean blue eyes.

And all of the things she never got to tell her. All of the things she deserves to hear.

The smallest movement takes more time than Beca is used to. It’s like she’s frail, lame. She wants to do something so simple, she wants to unlock her phone and tap on Chloe’s contact, something she’s done so many times before that it’s just second nature to her now, but her thumb is moving at an excruciatingly slow pace, and Beca allows an aggravated sob to slip through her cracked, parted lips.

Somehow, she musters up the strength, and by the time the phone is lifted to her ear, eyes closed as she gulps down labored breaths, she can hear that almost melodic voice ringing out from the speaker.

“Um, Beca? Are you there? Did you butt-dial me?”

The brunette takes a sharp breath in. It causes the dull pain in her side to pick up, though it lessens on her slow exhale, and Beca forces all sadness from her voice. She doesn’t mean for it to sound so croaky, so exhausted, but she can’t help herself.

“Beca?”

“Hey. Yeah, Chlo. It’s me. I’m here,” she says in the most normal voice she can manage. She has the urge to cough, to clear her dry throat, but she refuses to let herself. She doesn’t want to give away any hint of there being anything wrong. She doesn’t want to worry Chloe. She just... She just wants to talk to her.

“Oh, hey! Where are you? The girls and I have been looking for you guys everywhere. Are you with Amy?”

The last thing Beca feels like doing is smiling, but her lips seem to tug upward slightly at the lighthearted sound of Chloe’s voice. The familiarity of it is so comforting, so peaceful somehow. Chloe is like her comfort blanket, and Beca isn’t afraid anymore. “Yeah. Hey, um, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

There’s a brief pause, before Chloe’s voice rings through the receiver again.

“Are you okay? You sound kind of weird. Are you sick?”

Beca takes that as her out.

“Yeah, I just have a sore throat,” she lies, and her response seems to be good enough for Chloe.

“Oh. Well, you should come back to the hotel, let me take care of you. You don’t want to make yourself even more sick.”

The concern in the redhead’s voice tells Beca she’s doing the right thing by keeping her in the dark. If she’s worried about something as simple as a sore throat, God only knows how she’d feel if she knew the truth. If she knew that she was laying here in an unfamiliar room, life gradually escaping her with each passing moment.

“Um, yeah.” She chooses not to tell her she’ll be there soon, because that would be a lie, and Beca has spent enough time lying to Chloe. She has spent four long, drawn out years lying to the other girl. If she’d been truthful with her, she’d tell her she’d been in love with her from the first time she’d laid eyes on her. The first time that little redhead in the blue dress with eyes that shone like sapphires had caught her attention, waving a flyer for a dumb a cappella group in her face, Beca had fallen hard, and she’d never managed to get back up.

Beca’s voice is still strained and croaky as she continues, though she has her sore throat cover to block more questions for now. “Remember earlier, when you were all smiley and even more adorable than usual?”

“Adorable?” There’s a shy kind of giggle sounding through the phone, one that causes Beca’s teeth to sink gently into her bottom lip as she pictures the look on the other girl’s face. She can see it so clearly, the way her eyes crinkle at the sides, her cheeks overtaken with a rosy tint of subtle pink.

“Uhh, I don’t know about that. But I know when you’re talking about, yes. What about it?”

“You know you’re adorable, Chlo,” Beca says in a softer, quieter voice. She finds that it’s easier this way, it doesn’t sound as strained. The fabric of her shirt is clinging to her body, and Beca doesn’t dare look down, she doesn’t want to see the deep red liquid pooling around her. She just wants to focus on Chloe. Just Chloe.

“Why was that? I mean, did you hear some news or something?”

It had taken a while for Chloe Beale to figure out her life plan. But when she’d finally decided on vet school, on a career that Beca thought was absolutely perfect for her, she’d thrown her whole heart and soul into it, the same way she’d always done the Bellas. Beca knows she’s been waiting for a phone call, and she hasn’t said so, but she’s pretty sure she’s been even more nervous about it than Chloe has. She wonders if it came, if that’s why her eyes were shining more brightly than ever before when she’d seen her earlier today.

She doesn’t allow herself to think about how that was the last time. She won’t.

“News? What kind of news?” Chloe asks, her voice almost sing-song sounding.

The playful tone makes Beca chuckle quietly under her breath, the movement doing nothing to help the wound in her side. But she can’t focus on that right now. She has precious little time left with Chloe Beale, and she’s going to spend it focusing on her. “Did they call?”

There’s a pause, and Beca worries for half a second that the line has gone dead. That they’ve been cut off somehow. But then she hears her again, she hears that familiar, beautiful voice, and suddenly she feels okay.

“Ugh, okay, you can’t say anything, okay?” Chloe begins, her voice lowering some. Beca wonders if she’s around any of the other girls, though she doesn’t ask. She just listens, lets Chloe continue. “I was going to wait until we were all together later, but I did get the call. I got it this morning. I got into vet school!”

Beca can practically hear the smile on Chloe’s face. She can feel her joy radiating through the phone, through the airwaves. It’s almost like she’s right beside her. Beca is not on a boat in the middle of nowhere, held hostage by Amy’s father like something from a poor, badly thought out action movie. And Chloe isn’t back at the hotel. They’re together, they’re right there next to one another, and Beca finds herself stretching out an arm, as if to take ahold of the other girl. She wants to feel her beside her, she imagines she’s so much closer.

“That’s so incredible, Chloe.” She pauses to catch her breath, to normalize her tone. “I mean, I knew you’d get in, but I’m so happy for you,” Beca says, her genuine excitement stifled by her current situation.

“Thank you! I’m so happy,” Chloe practically squeals, and that’s what Beca had wanted. When she’d called, she’d wanted to hear Chloe the way she would always think of her. That happy, melodic tone, that pep that, if it were coming from anybody else, would have Beca rolling her eyes hard enough for people to literally hear. But because it’s Chloe, all she can feel is grateful. That’s Chloe Beale. It’s her Chloe. And that’s all Beca had wanted.

“You know I’m so proud of you, right?” Beca doesn’t even realize her voice has quietened. She hasn’t done it purposely, but the room has begun to spin, her breathing growing faster.

“What? Bec, I can barely hear you. Where are you?”

She ignores the question.

“I’m proud of you, Chlo. I’m so proud of you, and...” Her hesitation makes no sense. She doesn’t have the time to hesitate. She doesn’t want to hesitate. So she forces herself to keep going, to say the one thing she’s wanted to say for four years now. “And I love you, Chloe.”

The redhead’s voice softens some as well, her tone almost bashful in response. “I love you too, Bec... Are you sure you’re okay? Where are you?”

Her eyes have closed, short breaths fewer and further between. The room is still, calm, and Chloe’s voice sounds angelic in her ear. Heavenly.

“Beca? Bec, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

It’s that worry, that sudden air of concern that snaps Beca back to the present. She feels cold, she feels numb all over, and she feels the sweet release of sleep taking over her, but Chloe’s voice pulls her back, if only for a moment, just to reassure her. Because the last thing Beca had wanted to do was upset her. That’s the last thing she ever wants to do.

“I have to go, okay?” She whispers, salty tears beginning to sting the backs of her eyes once more. “Just... Know that I love you, okay? I love you.”

“Bec? I love you, too. Beca--”

Chloe’s voice sounds distant now, because Beca has pulled the phone slowly away from her ear, her thumb sweeping slowly across the end call button. If she could’ve stayed with her longer, she would’ve. God, she would’ve stayed with her so much longer. She would’ve told her so much more, she would’ve told her so much more and she would’ve done it so many times.

But it’s out there now. Those words she’d wanted to speak so many times, that emotion she’d wanted to convey to the one person whose existence is helping her feel anything but afraid, it’s all out there.

And Beca can close her eyes now. She loves Chloe Beale, and Chloe loves her in return.

And Beca can close her eyes. She can be at peace.

#beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe #bechloe fic #death tw #angst tw #mine #mine:writing #i hate myself for this wow #at peace

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #255

“who gives a fuck if they hate you; you’re the god that they pray to.”

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? It would suck. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? I didn't like, sob, but "Another Life" by Motionless In White does it. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? Well, I can't with Sara considering she lives two hours away, and that's by plane. If she lived here, duh. For Girt or Jason, yes. Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone(s)? I'm sorry. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Would you date someone who lived in another state? Eh, maybe. I don't know if I want to do long-distance again. I mean I probably would, but idk. Are you friends with your ex? Sara and Girt, yes. Who is the person you last texted? Sara. When’s the last time you told people you were fine, but really weren’t? I dunno, I honestly don't lie about that often. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Months back when I found out the shit my therapist said about me and disability. Not only did I want to knock her jaw off, but I sobbed for like, a long-ass time. Who did you spend your summer with last year? Just Mom, really. ... Or wait, maybe that was the summer Sara was here??? My memory is such shit, idk if that was last year or the one before. What’s bothering you right now? Stress about dropping out. Have you lost friends in the past year? I don't think so, at least. Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out? We did date. If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do? I'm not dating anyone. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Sara. Do you have a secret life? RP stays a pretty big secret. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No. What are you watching? Nothing rn, surprisingly. I'm listening to music. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yeah. There’s a serial killer in your house, what do you do? Jump out the window. If the last person you kissed went back to their first love, what would you do? I think I am hers. Do you own any bug spray? No, not currently. We need some damn wasp killer. Every spring/summer, they build a nest literally right above our back door. Are you a good gift giver? Honestly think I'm really good at it. I always try to put a load of thought into it. What's the longest trip you’ve ever been on? The drives to either NY or Florida. I can't remember which is further. Are you a daughter or son-in-law? No. Do you know anyone in the military? Multiple people. Do you like your significant other's siblings? N/A Have you ever received a singing birthday card? Yeah. Those always suck when you open them and boom, loud singing to an obnoxious song. Do you own anything made by APPLE? My iPod. Have you ever tried Hamburger helper? Yeah, that was a semi-frequent dinner as a kid. I never liked it that much, though. What was your first car's color? N/A Do you have a best friend? Ye. Do you remember who your Kindergarten teacher was? I do. Do you have a favorite president? A least favorite? No, considering I don't know enough about any and their policies. Can you french braid? No. Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? I was as a tiny kid. I met my first best friend that way. What's your least favorite color? I'm just gonna use the very basic colors: yellow or green. Do you know anyone in jail? Not currently. Do you have kids? Ew. What's the strangest name you’ve ever heard? Apples. Yes. I'm serious. How old were you when you learned to walk? Idk. Do you own anything made of lace? Yeah. What's your favorite football team? Idc. What kind of bubble gum do you chew? Just about any. Fruity is my favorite. Do you wear a one-piece bathing suit or two-piece, a speedo or trunks? NOBODY needs to see me in a two-piece. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. Do you support a charity? Well of course. I used to give coins to those super-old charity things for sick kids back in the day, but I can't remember the exact charity it was. I also donated hair to Children With Hair Loss a couple years back. I haven't donated to any other that I know of bc no personal income and I don't ask my parents for money really, but boy have I wanted to. I always use that Facebook feature where you pick a charity to share and ask for donations for your birthday, though; I've done the Trevor Project and one for pancreatic cancer in honor of my grandmother. I don't remember the others. Do you pop your knuckles? EW no please don't in my presence @ Sara. Do you scrapbook? No. I just don't have the creative drive and dedication to. If you could change your eye color would you and to what color? A much brighter blue. Have you ever had braces? For a long-ass time because we couldn't afford to take them off. One tooth is pushed too far back because of it. Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? No. I want to live in the woods where *that's* my yard. When were you the saddest in your whole life? 2016 OH WOWIE WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a ghost? I definitely believe I have. Are you a virgin? No. How many books do you read a month? I like, just started reading again, so I can't say. Can you type fast? Very. In school were you bullied? I'm extremely thankful I wasn't. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I love it. Do you own a boat? Not me myself, no. Dad does. What about a camper? No. Do you read the newspaper? No. Are you on any teams? Team Mystic in Pokemon Go *waggles fist @ criticism* If you died today where do you think you’d go? Idk. Who really knows what happens when you die. I hope it's some serene existence, but, *shrugs*. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Ummmm I don't think so. Who is the first contact in your cell phone? Best friend! :') What color are you bed sheets? The one I'm using now is light blue. Do you use online dating? I cannot FUCKING believe I was briefly on Christian Mingle I would actually rather die- How often are you sick? Extremely rarely. Did/Do you miss a lot of school? Eh. I had my mental health days and had to leave early a lot. Do you like scented candles? Yeah man. When was the last time you were told you were pretty/beautiful/gorgeous? When I recently changed my FB picture after forever. Do you hate the last guy, other than family, you had a conversation with? No. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Roman being silly. If someone were to ask you out right now would you say yes? I don't know. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yeah. Name four things you want right now: My fucking tattoo updated laksjdlflw, a healthy goddamn weight, my laptop, and a tarantula omg. Do you prefer to hold or be held? I mean, it depends on who we're talking about. I guess generally held? Are you currently wanting any piercings? You have no idea. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. What was the last thing that made you feel like your life was complete? lol I've never felt that. You ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Yeah. Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school? Off the very top of my head, no. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? One of my favorite pictures of Teddy, because I adore and miss him. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? Plaid. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I mean, not especially. They're crowded and it's a bad association anyway since it was the last time I hung out with Jason. The cake is indeed the best part, lmao. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? American. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? Red, yellow, and blue. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Very rarely. I'm not all that tall. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? No. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? As someone who is bipolar, very much so, yes. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I was fine. Do you like those "end of the world," "Armageddon" movies? Not especially. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? No. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, by far. Strawberries and broccoli. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: This is not intentional or meant to be discriminatory of those with 'em, but penises literally repulse me visually. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Yeah, even though I'm scared. I think I say "hi" or "hey" most. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? Extremely heteronormative. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? HA no. I'm an anxious mess that is not fast or nimble in any way. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I like the reddish/yellowish ones. Do you live anywhere near a mall? Maybe like, 15-20 mins away. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? Honey ham. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pencil, by far. You can erase. Scibbling stuff out looks messy. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I am NOT kidding: one of the motivating factors of me going back to public school after 8th grade was the idea of making new friends and maybe making a band to be the guitarist lmfao. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? I have multiple for different reasons, but #1's gotta be Mark, man. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was a really friendly kiddo. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? I don't think so. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? Idk who that would be. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? I don't believe we have. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Jesus fuck, I wouldn't wish having an infected cyst drained without NEARLY enough numbing medication on the goddamn devil. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Yeah. I like the chocolate sundae one most. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? MMMMMMMMMMM cool ranch. Usually soda with chips. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Ozzy. *shrugs* I like my online nickname and the "y" added sounds kinda affectionate ig. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? I don’t plan my outfits. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? No. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2017. SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND HEALING!!!!!!! Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #personal

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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How Far I'll Go - Chapter 3 (Nina West/Monet X Change) - Meggie, Mia Ugly

A/N: They aren’t REALLY writing an entire season of All Stars, are they?

Thanks to everyone who’s been reading/liking this so far, as well as the Branjie discord for being awesome on the daily. This is a long chapter, almost 10k, so settle in. The link to the original song will be posted later today; I wish I could say that was a joke but it isn’t.

Chapter Three - Heart ablaze, banners high

“Hey y’all. I’m here to show you how the West was won.”

Nina struts into the Werk Room, poses briefly with his hands on his hips before firing a round of bubbles into the air. The first thing he hears is “Bitch!” in Vanjie’s unmistakable voice. After he crosses the floor to meet the other queens, Vanjie is the first one to hug him.

“Yaaas!” Vanjie says with his arms around Nina’s neck. “Come through, girl.”

Nina introduces himself/has a small meltdown over the other queens. Asia O’Hara is perfection on legs, dressed in a very short, sexy caterpillar costume which shouldn’t work but does. Blair St. Clair has ditched the Broadway baby look for full-on seventies supermodel. Nina Bo’nina Brown is padded for the gods and serving I Dream of Jeannie realness. She and Vanjie are all over each other; Nina had forgotten how hilarious they are when they’re together. Also there, also sickening, is Shea Coulee (Nina resists the urge to immediately kiss the crown goodbye. This queen, this fucking queen).

The next through the doorway is Laganja Estranja (“Is it four-twenty up in hurrrrrr?” DEATH DROP) who hasn’t changed. At all. Following her is Ivyyyy Wiiinters who is - a lot hotter in person than Nina expected. He knows he should be strategizing already but he’s so overwhelmed and grateful to be back in the game that it’s hard not to feel anything but excited.

He needs to put himself inside the head of - someone like Brooke. Brooke would have clocked everyone’s weak spots by now, would be thinking about who he’d want on his team and who the first girl home was going to be. Nina - frankly hasn’t got a clue. It won’t be him though, it absolutely cannot be him.

The next queen to enter the room is - oh.

Lovely.

Miz Cracker. Fan favourite and smart as hell. Nina smiles at her, hoping that whatever happened at Drag Con was a one-off. Cracker looks past him like he’s wallpaper, even as she shrieks and laughs and hugs all the others.

Not good, Nina. He can already feel the weight of rejection on his chest. It’s stupid, problematic, and familiar. That need to be liked rises to the surface any time he feels insecure or out of his depth. Like now. Now is exactly that time, and it’s also the time he should care about making friends the least.

Head in the game, he tells himself. It’s not RuPaul’s best friends race.

There’s only one queen left to arrive. Nina watches Vanjie watching the doorway, waiting for the last entrance. Nina has a couple predictions in his mind, but nothing he’d feel confident betting money on.

And then -

“Oh bitch.” Vanjie exhales sharply. “Fuck.”

Because Brooke Lynn Hytes has strolled through the door, wrapped in black and red studded straps, reminiscent of his Orange Alert runway and the bondage fantasy from the finale. It’s full on dominatrix mode, right down to the black stilettos and riding crop in his hand. It’s a look and the bitch is turning it, but… God, Nina feels bad for Vanjie. Because apparently, even the happiest exes alive don’t share everything.

All the color is gone from Vanessa’s face.

“You didn’t… He didn’t tell me either,” Nina says softly, but he knows it isn’t enough. If this surprise hurts him this badly, he can only imagine what it feels like for Vanessa.

Vanjie shakes his head and studies the floor until Brooke makes his rounds to greet everyone. Brooke embraces Nina tightly (and okay, Nina loves him, is happy to see him) but pauses in front of Vanjie, as if unsure of what to do. Vanjie bristles a little before pulling himself upright and stretching his arms out to Brooke.

The cameras are on and they are both professionals.

They hug, but Nina can feel the tension between them, and wonders if the rest of the queens can as well.

It’s going to be an interesting season for sure.

He doesn’t have time to speak again, however, because the door opens and Ru’s voice rings through the Werk Room. “Hello, hello, hello!”

Everyone cheers, but Nina’s smile feels a bit false. He’s got to put this whole thing with Brooke and Vanjie to the side; he’s here for himself, not to be a supporting character in their story. Focus, Nina.

“Welcome to All Stars! My darlings!” Ru comes down the stairs, smiling. He’s dressed in a powder blue suit with tiny feathers printed on it and looks exactly like he did when Nina last saw him.

“When I look across this room at all your beautiful and familiar faces, only one word comes to mind: security!”

The camera crew moves in to catch the queens all laughing. It’s kind of scary how quickly you get used to it, the scurrying motion of people and technology like insects. Nina chuckles like he knows he’s supposed to, trying not to look at Brooke and Vanjie out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh.” Ru mimes getting a note in his ear piece. “You’re all supposed to be here? Even better! To recognize the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent that got you past the metal detectors, I’m throwing the event of the season and your first maxi challenge: an All Star Talent Show Extravaganza!”

Nina knew this was coming. He’s ready for it.

“But - there’s one more thing.”

Nina feels Vanjie reach down and grab his hand, nails digging into his wrist. Ru makes a show of counting the girls up, and Nina’s heart fucking drops.

“Ten queens. That’s a nice even number, but - as it is All Stars Season five, I think we’ve got room for some more. Oh laaaadiiies!”

One of the side doors opens, and Vanjie starts murmuring, “no no no no,” under his breath. Nina doesn’t even have the time to imagine who might be coming in before - Chad Michaels? - steps through the door. He’s not in drag, looking ageless and wiry in a faded t-shirt and jeans.

“Hi Chad!” Ru exclaims, fake-surprised and delighted. “So nice to see you! Did you come alone?”

“Not since the Uber. Oh! You mean -” Chad glances back at the doorway. “I’m sorry, I tried to lose them.”

“Hiiiiiiiieeeee!” Alaska sticks his head out.

The queens around Nina lose their collective shit, jumping up and down, snapping and cheering. Alaska is followed by Trixie fucking Mattel (out of drag like the others, looking adorable in a vintage cowboy shirt and bolo tie. Nina might have tears in his eyes all of a sudden - but look away, it’s fine).

Clearly, the winners of previous seasons are back. Which means -

Fucking hell, don’t -

Shit.

Trinity the Tuck comes through - followed by Monet Goddamn X Change.

The room erupts in cheers. Nina immediately glances away, but he’s not fast enough to avoid the fact that Monet looks objectively -

Monet looks -

Great. Obviously. Smiling in his round teal glasses and a sweatshirt covered with roses (Nina always had a weakness for thick-rimmed glasses, it’s his tragic flaw, it doesn’t mean anything). He carefully keeps his focus on Vanessa, makes a ridiculous “O” of surprise with his mouth, instead of risking eye-contact with the handsomest man in the room (who was also probably the best sex Nina’s had in an unfortunate length of time and whose number he never called and -)

Enough, Nina. Do some mindful breathing or something.

Monet and Trinity play up the jealous sibling angle as they cross the floor, holding hands while getting into each other’s space and jostling for attention. They come to stand in a line up beside Ru, who looks them over.

“Y’all look different than I remember. What is it? Oh right, you’re old.”

There’s laughter but it’s a bit weak. Clearly none of the competing girls have any idea what’s going on. Nina doesn’t think Ru would throw five new queens into this season, but - worse things have happened. And the returning queens aren’t in drag. They look good, though - some of them look extremely good and… probably taste like mint and… Jesus Christ, get it together.

“For the first time in All Stars herstory, I thought I’d give you girls a little professional help. ‘Cause from where I’m standing, you need it.” Ru gestures to his returning queens. “Ladies, for this season, each of you will be matched with one of our reigning All Stars. Now, these All Stars are here to act as your mentors only; they will not be competing for the crown. And you will still be judged individually, regardless of how your other teammate performs. As always, All Stars rules do apply.”

Okay, okay, this situation is still salvageable. They’re here to act as mentors, Nina can handle that. She’s not going to have to go toe to toe against Monet in some sort of horrifying lip-sync. They aren’t going to be the Branjie of the season, led to the slaughter for ratings, laid bare at the reunion for the entire world to rub salt in the wounds. It’s okay.

“However. Mentors, if one of the queens on your team wins a lip-sync, you will receive a cash tip of five thousand dollars.”

Nina wonders how long is too long to look at Vanjie. It’s probably been too long already - he’ll look at Ru. There, that’s fine. Just keep your eyes somewhere - safe. And smile. Or don’t smile? What’s the appropriate reaction right now? Nina is missing pieces of this conversation.

“And if a queen from your team is the winner of All Stars Season Five, not only will she win one-hundred thousand dollahs and a spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, but you will win a bonus prize of twenty-five thousand dollars. So choose your team wisely - cause some of y’all clearly need the money.” Ru eyes up Chad Michaels, who nods and gestures at his face.

“I won’t say no. All of this is about to expire.”

“Girl, we can tell,” Trinity shouts over at him.

“Oh, I just love these family get togethers!” Ru laughs and clasps his hands together as he studies them all. “But however shall we pick teams?” He presses a finger to his chin as he pretends to ponder the situation.

Nina’s stomach churns, but - Ru doesn’t know. No one knows. Unless -

“A draft!” Ru announces gleefully. “That’s something from sports, I think. Nina West, you know about sports right?” Ru makes a broad-shouldered motion with his hands, and Nina smiles tightly.

“Ask me anything at all about locker rooms.”

“Come find me on the break,” Ru says very seriously. “Now, mentors - each of you will get to choose one queen for your team twice. I think it’s only fair to go in order.”

There’s bickering between the mentors - Trinity and Monet are of course pressed that they’ll have last pick - but Trinity eventually relents, after Monet reminds her that age should come before beauty.

Nina steels himself as the draft starts. He’s never been the kid that gets picked first for anything, and it’s hard not to immediately go back to that middle school shame-place that still lives somewhere in his lizard brain. He just hopes he isn’t picked last. And deep, deep down, he kind of hopes that Trixie chooses him. They’re similar, he’s always thought. Campy, musically inclined. He’d love to learn from her, really pick her brain, score a guest appearance on UNHhhh, where he’d sit with her and Katya and they’d all be best friends and - that’s enough.

Chad makes a show of looking the queens over before he makes his selection and it’s so obvious. “Brooke Lynn Hytes,” he announces with a grin. Of course Brooke’s first.

Brooke claps and smiles, but Nina doesn’t miss the way Vanessa’s eyes roll back in his head. Honestly? He feels kind of the same way.

Alaska chooses Nina Bo’nina which makes total sense. They’re both quirky queens who are all about their brand, and it feels like a good fit.

Trixie’s pick is next. Nina feels himself straighten involuntarily, but Trixie barely hesitates before she trills, “It’s time for Crackerrrrrr!” and holds out her arms to the smaller man.

So that’s - that.

There’s the next round, of course, but does Nina really want to be on a team with a queen that hates him for no apparent reason? He sighs, the tension in his shoulders building. It’s going to be Grade Six kickball all over again.

The Tuck chooses Blair (also not surprising). Then it’s Monet’s turn, and, oh God, he’s looking past Nina, which is… Probably for the best. Definitely. Definitely probably for the best.

Then Monet’s eyes narrow behind his glasses. He crosses his arms over his chest, purses his lips together (and Jesus, what Nina remembers about those lips on his own and wrapped around his - not the time).

“Nina West.”

Nina’s head snaps up. He doesn’t move because - surely this is a joke. But Monet is standing there in front of him, the most neutral expression on his face, watching him.

“That’s you, girl,” Vanjie whispers beside him.

Nina nods. Nods again. He got chosen before Vanjie? In what alternate universe is this All Stars season happening?

He plasters a smile across his lips and walks forward, embraces Monet, plants air kisses on both of his cheeks. (His skin tingles where their faces brush. He should have called. At the very least texted.)

The draft starts from the beginning again while Nina awkwardly frets over what to do with his hands. Chad chooses Shea Coulee (clearly), and Alaska chooses Laganja, which is… Well, it’s a choice, certainly, but Nina believes in giving people second (and third and twentieth, most of the time) chances. Then it’s Trixie Mattel’s turn and she doesn’t pause a second before calling out, “Miss Vaaanjie.”

Nina isn’t jealous. Genuinely, he isn’t. The look on Vanjie’s face when Trixie calls his name is like the opposite of jealousy. Nina can’t help but glance over at Brooke to see if he notices it too (he does. Nina can tell. Brooke thinks he’s being cool but the way his eyes shift when Vanjie smiles is just - it’s kind of sad. And kind of obvious. And it makes Nina wonder why he ever thought he had a chance with this blonde goddess when - the way Brooke looks at Vanjie is something completely different).

Monet hassles Trinity into letting him pick next and is practically vibrating with excitement over drafting Asia O’Hara for his team. Which leaves Ivy Winters, who does not look pressed at all about being chosen last and bounds over to join Trinity and Blair.

“All right ladies. Now you’ll have time to meet with your mentors and plan your act. And tomorrow night, you’ll perform in front of a full house in my All Star Extravagaaaanza! Gentlemen, start your engines. And may the best All Star… win!”

* * *

“Okay, Team X Change. I’mma call you the X-Queens, what do you think? The Tuck is calling her girls ‘The Holy Trinity,’ and we can do better than that.”

Monet has pulled a chair over to Asia and Nina’s stations, which they’ve set up beside each other. Nina is trying to be the least embarrassing version of himself possible. He might regret bringing bubble guns.

“Obviously, I’m Professor X.” Monet gestures to his bald head. “You can be Storm,” he says to Asia (who seems extremely happy about that, and justifiably so). “And you -” He looks at Nina, who swallows anxiously.

“Wolverine?” he manages, and Monet laughs.

“Girl. Nah, you’re a Jean Grey. Just use those powers for good, okay? Don’t want no Dark Phoenix up in here.” Monet smiles but the smile is a bit forced, charming only on the surface. Underneath it, there’s something else. “So what you all thinking for this challenge? I got money on the line, remember that.”

Cool, flawless, beautiful Asia laughs, but Nina’s laugh doesn’t quite squeak out of his throat.

“I’m just going to lip-sync,” Asia says. “What I do best.”

Monet nods. “Yes, I live. I’ve seen you girl. What about you, Nina West?”

Nina was counting on this challenge coming up at some point in the season. He’s got an idea but - he’s not sure how well received it will be.

“I was thinking of maybe doing… magic?”

Asia stares at him.

“Like last season we did a magic show. And I thought -”

“Like real magic?” Asia asks, dubiously. “With wands and shit?”

“Girl! She’s not a fucking wizard.” Monet laughs. “Well, that sounds - unique. That’s something I want to see. You going to cut someone in half or something?”

“Maybe. Depends if I can find a saw.”

“And we already know you can make yourself disappear, so -” Monet stops. He meets Nina’s eyes with a sudden look of panic - but the look is gone just as quickly. So quickly Nina thinks maybe he imagined it, because Monet’s smiling widely again, poised and professional. “So we’ve got a plan. Good job team, mentoring done. Cut the cheque!”

They spend a bit of time talking about Asia’s dance number before splitting up so that Nina can practice a couple of the tricks he’s learned since Season 11. He was feeling pretty confident about it initially, but now that he’s surrounded by some of the most talented queens working today, he’s wondering if it’s too little. Or too much?

Fuck it. He puts on shows for a living, it’s what he does. The judges were in love with his magician character last season. He just has to build on it. And - no shade, of course - but at least he isn’t lip-syncing and dancing to his own single like ninety percent of the other queens seem to be planning. A magic show will stand out. In… some kind of way.

They break for lunch a bit later, lining up at the craft services table. Nina checks in with Vanjie and also tries not to ask too many questions about what Trixie Mattel is like in real life. He was worried he might start fangirling like an idiot when he saw her, but as soon as they called for a break, Trixie made a very intense sounding call on her cell phone (which apparently the mentors get to keep on them) and disappeared.

“She’s good,” Vanjie tells Nina as they eat some sort of lettuce wraps that keep falling apart in their hands. “Though just you try to get her off her phone. She on that grind twenty-four seven, maybe. How’s Monet?”

Um. (Really cute. And sweet. And an astonishing kisser, Nina’s feeling a bit dizzy just thinking about it.)

“Great,” he says.

Vanjie gives him a look.

“That sounded fake as hell.” For all that Vanessa is a terrible actor, he’s pretty good at clocking lies in other people. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Nina stammers. “He’s - it’s great.”

“Why you being all weird and shit? You talking ‘bout him like he’s a snack cracker. It’s great! Kids love it!” Vanjie does his best cool dad impression, and Nina almost chokes on his wrap.

“Oh my God, please stop with that voice.”

“There’s nothing wrong with this voice, ho. I’m -” But before he can say anything else, Brooke comes into the break room. Every muscle in Vanjie’s body seems to stiffen. Nina watches it out of the corner of his eye, a slow tightening of Vanjie’s arms, straightening of his back. Defenses going up.

“I - I gotta have words with your girl,” he says softly. “Catch you later.”

Nina watches him cross the floor to Brooke, watches Brooke’s face go through a weird and painful series of expressions as Vanjie gets closer (hopefearlustlonging).

Those two idiots, Nina thinks, and the thought is so loud in his head that it should basically be telepathy (is that a Jean Grey thing? Or is that telekinesis? It’s been years since Nina dug out his old comic books).

As he scans the room, he accidentally makes eye contact with Monet.

Shit. Abort, abort. Look anywhere else. Pretend that you’ve gone blind.

It’s too late, however, because Monet is nodding at him. Smiling. And oh fuck, oh God, he’s coming over.

“Hey,” he says, leaning against the wall beside Nina (who has suddenly forgotten how to eat, is just moving his wrap around on his plate as it falls to pieces). “Can’t wait to see your show tomorrow. Magic!”

He does an impression of Nina’s ridiculous catchphrase, and Nina laughs awkwardly. Nina is doing too many things awkwardly right now; pick another adverb, Mary.

“Feel good to be back?”

“Still, um, getting used to it. But yes.” Just fucking say it, just - get it over with before there are cameras on them again. “Listen, about - that night. The - uh, finale -”

“Girl.” Monet holds up a hand, stopping him from saying anything more. “I get it. I ain’t pressed about it. So just put that outta your head, okay? We’re cool.”

And Nina might be imagining it, but Monet seems - a bit redder than usual. The edge of his cheekbones, the tips of his ears.

Nina looks away.

“Just you focus on the crown, right?” Monet continues quietly. “It’s yours if you want it. I know what you can do.”

The quietness is - unusual. For him. Nina knows Monet as this commanding presence at the centre of every crowd, able to hold court in a packed bar, able to revive a dying audience with a wave of his hand. The weird fragility is a side Nina hasn’t seen before, and he has no idea what to say in response. Silence stretches between them.

And then Cracker runs across the room and throws herself into Monet’s arms.

“Cracks!” Monet cheers. “How you doing?”

“So much for friendship, dick,” Miz Cracker says with a smile as she hugs Monet. “I thought you’d want me on your team for sure!”

“It ain’t my fault Miss Trixie scooped you up, though I can’t blame her.”

“Well, you should have won an earlier season!” Cracker responds with a smack to Monet’s arm. She glances at Nina, looks him up and down with cold brown eyes. “Then you wouldn’t have gotten - stuck with the questionable choices.”

Nina takes a step away, and then another. Pulls a Miss Vanjie, walks backwards until he’s not so up in Monet’s personal space, and Cracker’s weird hostility. Neither of them are distractions he can afford right now. Monet said they were cool. So they’re cool, right? And whatever Cracker’s problem is, Nina’s got to put it out of his head.

He tries. As he rehearses his act on the main stage, he tries. But Cracker is there, too, just out of the corner of his eye. Her head is bent low, talking quietly and intensely with Monet, who looks… Annoyed? Maybe? It could be wishful thinking.

That night, he and Brooke eat cold pizza in Nina’s room (the door is open at the P.A.’s insistence, and Nina feels a bit like a teenager, but whatever).

“You should have told him,” Nina says and Brooke doesn’t even have to ask what they’re talking about. He nods.

“I literally couldn’t.” He repeats Nina’s own words back to him. “If he knew - everyone would know. The moment I stepped into the Werk Room. He’s - both of us are - not the greatest actors.”

“Hmm, not the greatest, bit of an overestimation -”

“Fuck off. You know it’d be obvious as hell. And - I didn’t even think I’d say yes. I kept thinking - but then after the finale, when they asked -”

“So why did you? Say yes. They’re going to make this the Branjie story again, right? Of course they will. Is that what you want?��

“No. I mean - I don’t know.” Brooke pauses. Sighs. “I guess I just felt like I couldn’t say no. He’s fucking furious, by the way.”

“I’m sure he is.” On some level - Nina gets it. He’s glad Brooke’s got another chance, of course he is. Brooke’s perfection and he deserves it. But it’s hard for Nina not to feel like he doesn’t stand a chance with Brooke in the mix. Brooke almost won last time. That last lip sync was so close, it could have been either of them. (Nina might have a theory as to why it wasn’t Brooke, and the fact that Brooke’s sitting across from him in the hotel with Vanessa a few doors down is doing a lot to confirm it.)

“So you said yes because you felt like you had to,” Nina says slowly, “but you already knew Vanjie was coming. You knew I was coming.” (Though Nina doubts that would have affected Brooke’s decision at all.) “Why didn’t you tell them you’d come for the next season?”

Brooke tosses his pizza crust onto the paper plate on the bed and shrugs. “You never know if you’re going to get next season. If I’d said no, they could have written me off, or—”

“That’s bullshit and we both know it. You’re golden. They love you.” He normally isn’t this firm, not with Brooke, but Brooke also isn’t usually this avoidant of the truth. And Nina knows he isn’t getting the truth from the man sitting across from him. It bothers him. He’s good at reading people, great at reading Brooke after a decade-long friendship, but there’s been a boundary up ever since the season ended. Really - ever since he broke things off with Vanjie.

Nina might have been too firm, because Brooke lowers his eyes and shrugs. Starts to shut down. So Nina tries a softer approach.

“Why are you really here, Brooke?”

“Maybe - I’m just tired of always being the first runner-up. Never being enough,” Brooke finally says, and there’s pain there; a real, raw ache that is palpable from the timbre of his voice. “I won Continental and then…” He shakes his head. “First runner up. Always. Almost, but never quite - I just… I thought maybe on All Stars I could…” Brooke meets Nina’s eyes again, gives him a self-deprecating smile. “Show them I’m enough.”

For God’s sake. Nina hugs him, pulls him tight to his chest. “You’ve always been enough for me.”

“Thanks.” Brooke sniffles.

“But, and I need you to hear me very clearly,” Nina says, “even though I love you, you’re going to have to work, bitch. Because I fully plan on sending your ass back to Canada the first chance I get.”

Brooke throws back his head and laughs. “Just try it.”

“Oh, I’ll do more than try. I’m taking the crown this season.”

“Not so congenial anymore.” Brooke is still laughing, so Nina laughs too. And just for a moment, with the cold pizza and laughter between them, he could almost forget that they’re back at Drag Race, back in the (second) most important competition of both of their lives.

That night, when Nina lies in bed with his headphones in - listening to the potential lip-sync song for the next day, not that he’s counting his chickens or anything - he feels like maybe he can do this. Maybe he should be here, even in the presence of all this greatness. Even if - even around - someone like Monet.

(“If I’m shining everybody gonna shine,” Lizzo sings in his ear, and Nina closes his eyes tight. Hopes that he can be shiny enough to stay.)

* * *

The mentors aren’t in the Werk Room the next day, but they’re going to be in the audience at the show. That’s - maybe for the best. For all that he tells himself to focus, Nina is still acutely aware of where Monet is in the room, and it’s - unsettling. He doesn’t need that weird sixth sense distracting him right now. (He’s pretty sure that isn’t a Jean Grey thing.)

He paints in the mirror between Asia and Brooke, only half listening as Laganja and Vanjie’s conversation gradually gets louder and more snarly. There’s something off about Vanessa today. It’s clearly nerves and Nina kind of wishes he could go over there and hug him, but he’s not going to step between Vanjie and Laganja and risk getting an acrylic to the eye.

Nina takes in a few deep breaths, blocks them out, focuses on blending his eyeshadow. Purples into pinks. Pinks into whites. Black liner wings. Thick. Thicker. Thickest.

Then it’s frighteningly quiet all of a sudden, and Brooke is gone from his side.

He shifts his focus in the mirror and sees Brooke holding tightly to Vanessa’s shoulders, speaking quiet words to him. And while Vanjie still looks pressed, still shoots death glares across the room where Laganja has stormed away (and is, naturally, still talking), he isn’t vibrating with rage anymore.

“So use it,” he hears Brooke say softly. “Channel it. Win.”

And Vanjie nods, shrugs out of the hug Brooke tries to pull him into, and walks straight out of the Werk Room.

Brooke returns to the mirror at Nina’s side and heaves a long sigh.

“All good?” Nina asks, gluing on his lashes.

“Sure,” Brooke says with a smile that seems a little forced. “All good.”

When they’re finished painting, the P.A.s come by to grab them, take them to the main stage. Nina is the ninth act up, and so he gets to sit with the audience in the meantime. The mentors are there as well, in full awards-show drag, and it - only knocks him one step backwards when he sees Monet in black sequins. Sheer panels down each side. Purple lipstick.

“Hello, my X-Queens.” Monet smiles broadly as Nina and Asia walk past to find their seats. “Asia, look at you girl! Stunning. And Miss Nina West -”

Nina flinches a bit, not knowing what to expect. He’s going for campy, not glamourous, and compared to Asia - or Monet - well, there’s no comparison. None.

“Gorgeous,” Monet says simply, smile turning soft.

Nina swallows. “You too,” he chokes out through a throat that is suddenly completely dry, the Sahara Desert. He sounds more like Harvey Fierstein than he did during Snatch Game.

Abort, abort. Nina gets away as fast as he can, grabs an empty seat without really caring if it’s his.

“You okay?” Asia asks him, and Nina nods, doesn’t dare try to speak again. He’ll grab some water before his act.

A second later, Vanessa slams into the seat beside Nina, legs folded and arms crossed. Nina gives him an anxious look and decides to risk it.

“What’s going on with you and Laganja?”

Vanjie just blinks his eyelashes.

“Bitch is just running her mouth about shit that don’t concern her, like who gets to come back and when. Shit like that.”

“Oh.” Nina thinks back to Brooke’s hands onVanjie’s shoulders, voice quiet and intent. “Are you all right?”

He hears Vanjie take a deep breath. Sees his chest rise and fall in his peripheral vision.

“I’m gonna use it.” He casts a pressed look over at Nina, pursing his lips. “But don’t tell that blonde bitch I said any of this.”

Which one? Nina wants to ask. Brooke or Laganja?

“Never,” Nina swears, and then the rest of the queens file in beside them and the show begins.

Blair St. Clair is up first, singing. She struts slowly toward the standing microphone in the middle of the stage, dressed like a sixties songstress. As the torch-song instrumental track kicks in, Blair looks up and catches Nina’s eye.

And starts to sing:

“This is awwwwkward.

He’s seen you naked, now you’re on TV.

I’m pretty sure the other queens can see

How obvious you’re being,

Nina…”

Nina - cannot be hearing this right. He looks at Asia and Vanjie beside him, but neither one of them seem to think anything is weird about Blair’s song.

“This is awwwwkward.

You have to work together on this show

Now it’s a countdown ‘til the judges know

That you got drunk and made it awkward…”

Someone has turned on a disco ball, and the stage is covered with spinning flecks of mirrored light. The music picks up, beat growing harder.

“You can’t blame tequila for this.

Blame it all on a kiss.

Blame the night, the mood

The way you were feeling….

You can’t say it was a mistake

Cuz girl I see your hand shake

When you push it down inside you

Though you try you cannot fight the -”

At this point, Blair stretches out her arm, fully pointing at Nina in the crowd, while she takes the melody up an octave.

“Awwwwkward

You thought you left it in the past somewhere

But good God girl don’t let him see you stare

Nina West I swear

You’ll make it awwwkward…”

People are clapping, but Nina hears it coming from another room, as if there are walls between him and the rest of the audience. That couldn’t have been - that wasn’t -

“She kinda all over the place, huh?” Asia whispers to him

Nina has momentarily forgotten how to speak. He tries to clear his throat.

“What was… Um. Her song was called what again?”

Asia laughs. “Girl, I don’t even know. ‘Heathered’ or ‘Flickered.’ Some shit like that. Why, you wanna buy it on iTunes?”

“Not, um. Not ‘Awkward’?” Because he knows what he heard. A song directed right at him. Because his instincts were right and everyone knows what happened the night of the finale.

“No.” Asia narrows her eyes. “Though that could probably be a song about her career since Season Ten. Oh, bitch - ‘Ganja’s act’s up.”

It’s… An act. It’s supposed to be some kind of lyrical dance piece, and Nina knows that Laganja is an incredible dancer, but this is… Well. Not great, to be honest. It’s an excellent distraction from his incoming panic attack, and Nina almost sighs in relief. He can at least do better than this number, if nothing else.

Nina Bo’nina Brown shocks the hell out of everyone when she produces a silver flute from underneath a caftan and skillfully plays a rendition of Sissy That Walk. Ru looks impressed, if maybe a little bored. Nina tries not to bite off his acrylics.

The real wildcard is Ivy because everyone remembers her stilts and everyone remembers her voice, and if it were Nina, he’d sing an aria while parading around on stilts because hey. Work what you’ve got.

But instead they cut almost all the lights, and Ivy performs a shadow puppetry show full of jokes that Nina’s sure he could process if only he wasn’t so damn nervous.

Shea lip-syncs, and fucking slays it just like Nina knew she would. There are three reveals, if he’s counting right. Vanjie’s fingers have gradually tightened around Nina’s wrist, and by the time Shea’s act is over and Vanessa is up, Nina’s fairly certain he has bruises.

Vanjie stands, straightens his silver beaded gown, and sucks in a deep breath. Then Brooke leans forward and fixes a strand of fringe that’s snagged on Vanessa’s pantyhose. Vanjie jerks away like he’s been scalded.

“Break a leg,” Brooke says softly, trying his hardest not to look hurt by the reaction.

Vanjie nods and sets his jaw before marching backstage.

Nina shakes his head, focuses on his own routine instead of the drama playing out in front of him.

Whatever’s happening between Vanessa and Laganja, whatever’s happening between him and Brooke, Vanjie absolutely channels it. Nina can’t remember how many times he’s seen Vanjie perform, but this is unparalleled. It’s like lightning set loose on the stage. He’s a whirlwind of silver beads, white feathers, peach hair, spinning-melding-mixing to the throbbing bass of a Lorde song Nina’s heard but can’t place. Despite his nerves, Nina can’t turn away. Behind him, Brooke is steadily tearing his copy of the lineup into confetti.

That’s a legitimate fucking All Star.

Asia dances the house down, then Miz Cracker has Ru and Michelle hanging onto each other and crying from her standup. Whatever weirdness is going on between Nina and Cracker is beside the point. The bitch is hilarious and that could be a problem for him.

He knows there are acting challenges to come (All Stars is infamous for them), and it would be nice to have Cracker on his side. Whatever this rift is, he needs to mend it and quickly.

So when Cracker comes off stage, Nina reaches for her hand and congratulates her. “You were great!” he says with enthusiasm.

Cracker gives him a terse smile, flips her hair, and takes her seat next to Blair. Nina guesses a terse smile is better than a look of pure vitriol. Progress. Progress is good.

Blair… Blair’s been crying quietly ever since she came off stage. Apparently she’s very upset with her number. To be honest, Nina’s pretty upset with her number also. He knows what he heard. What he can’t figure out is why no one else seems at all shocked about it. (Okay, so maybe Nina might be hallucinating. What’s a bit of light hallucination between friends?)

A couple of P.A.s set up Nina’s props for him while the cameras are resetting. He feels himself spiraling, but shakes his head, refusing to be rattled. He tries to focus on his character, on the challenge that he’s about to fucking slay. He tries to focus on the crown.

But as he walks out onto the stage, blinking at first against the lights, the only thing he can see is the corner of Monet’s mouth, lips curling as he says “Gorgeous,” eyes warm and intent like - like he means it (which he doesn’t, which he can’t, which -)

“Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen and ladies and gentlemen!” Nina greets the audience.

He takes a breath -

- and by the time he exhales the act is over. He’s walking off stage, hands trembling with adrenaline.

They laughed, right? He’s pretty sure they laughed. Did Ru laugh? He might have. Nina can’t remember most of it.

As he moves on autopilot back to his seat, some of the other queens congratulate him. It couldn’t have been a complete disaster then? He catches Monet’s eye, and Monet smiles. (Nina feels that smile like electricity, running through his nervous system and lighting it up like a Christmas tree.)

Stop it.

Vanjie squeezes his arm when he sits back down. He’s beaming.

“Bitch, it’s over. That’s the show, sis. Cut the cheque.”

“I - really? Thank you, I mean. Really?”

“Don’t be all modest and shit, you must’ve heard the judges laughing. Thought Ru was gonna die, I’m serious. Trixie probably already dialing 9-1-1. Bitch is on that phone enough.”

Nina has no idea what Vanjie’s talking about, but he hopes to God it’s true. Especially because Brooke’s up next, the final act of the evening. (In all honesty, the one that everyone has probably been waiting for.)

The Canadian has gone full Black Swan for this performance, right down to the black feathered pointe shoes and jagged wings that look like they’re protruding out of his skin. As Brooke starts to dance, Nina hears Vanjie swallow.

Sees him look away, turn his head slightly to the left (it’s like the sun, maybe. You’re not supposed to look at it directly or it will blind you).

Brooke’s beautiful and vicious and fatal on stage, and Nina’s pretty sure Vanjie is holding his breath. His hands are clenched together in his lap, knuckles turning white. Nina still feels the ache of Brooke’s beauty sometimes. It comes and goes, especially when he’s been drinking. He imagines that it always will.

He reaches out, puts his hand over top of Vanjie’s. Vanjie flinches in surprise. Then he lets out a quiet breath, and Brooke finishes his routine, falling gracefully to his knees.

Perfect. Flawless. Everyone else here is completely fucked.

“Meh,” Nina whispers in Vanjie’s ear, maybe to reassure himself just as much as Vanessa. Maybe.

But it makes Vanjie laugh just the tiniest bit, and it settles Nina’s stomach, and it’s the least he can do for now.

* * *

He’s lost track of how long they’ve been standing on the runway, but he knows his feet are numb, and he doesn’t think Monet has blinked once. He’s just… looking at him. At all the queens, probably. Clearly.

Shea, Ivy, Asia, and Miz Cracker are all declared safe and sent back to the Werk Room. Nina’s heart sinks a little. He wanted to think he was in the top if Vanjie’s glowing comments meant anything, but he isn’t sure he was better than Cracker. That’s terrifying because if she’s safe that means Nina’s… potentially… not.

But there’s Monet again, smiling at him from the audience. Nina takes a deep breath and prepares himself for the critiques.

“Ladies,” Ru says. “You represent the tops and the bottoms of the week. Now for the judges’ critiques. We’ll start with Nina Bo’nina Brown.”

Michelle says it fell flat. Ru says it was flat. Ross loves everybody and finds the silver lining (literally - Nina’s wearing a pink gown with silver lining). Either way, they aren’t impressed. Nina West relaxes a little.

They gush over Vanessa, and they should. Ross says it’s some of the best work he’s ever seen from him. Ru agrees. Michelle says she’s just so happy to see a dress and not a bikini and cape. And, oh yeah, she tacks on, the dancing wasn’t bad either. Passionate, fiery. This is the Vanjie they wanted all last season and didn’t quite get. (To Nina’s left, Brooke ducks his head, accepts the blame silently.)

Laganja’s critique is the opposite of Vanjie’s. The judges are confused to put it lightly… Offended if they’re being honest. And of course Laganja can’t keep her mouth shut.

“I guess I just don’t understand why some people are getting third and fourth and fifth chances while the rest of us are up here working our asses off–”

“Ain’t none of us getting fourth chances, Mary,” Vanjie interjects, and Nina prays he keeps his cool because after a critique like his, the challenge is as good as won.

“I’m just saying that this is your third season in a row, and it might be oversaturation.” Laganja shrugs.

“That’s a big word,” Vanessa retorts. “Where’d you learn that word?”

“Vanj…” Brooke says quietly, which is maybe the worst possible thing that can happen.

“Don’t.” Vanessa’s voice is low, threatening. “I need you to not talk to me right now.”

Brooke physically wilts, collapses in on himself. Nina focuses on the spot on the wall just above Michelle’s head.

“Moving on,” Ru says and diplomatically ends the conversation. “Nina West!”

“So glad to have you back, Nina.” Michelle smiles (she smiles!) “You are still a delight.”

Nina could melt into the stage. Could just become a puddle of vaguely Nina-shaped goo and it would be okay because Michelle is beaming at him, praising him for his newly acquired magic skills, and Ru is nodding along.

“I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in years,” Ru admits. “You really can tell that you’ve taken our critiques from last season and applied them. It absolutely shows.”

Ross also has kind words (when doesn’t he?), but Nina’s lost in the high of hearing Michelle and Ru praise him, lost in the feeling of success.

They move on to Brooke, whose black eyeliner has run just a little. You could hardly tell from the way he’s holding himself upright, one leg behind the other, perfectly poised. Perfectly Brooke. Perfectly perfect. With the exception of that one streak of eyeliner, a single tear track down his face that he quickly wipes away.

The judges don’t seem to notice, praise instead his going out of his comfort zone, the grittier performance of his Black Swan instead of the grace he was known for on Season 11. Nina guesses they’re right; Brooke seemed to let go on stage, throw himself more into the performance. It was still flawless, every move calculated and textbook, but there was more emotion behind those grey eyes today than Nina thinks he’s ever seen from Brooke on stage.

Brooke thanks them, bows his head demurely, clasps his hands in front of his body.

Then they come to Blair.

“Oh, Blair.” Michelle shakes her head. “It was just a mess.”

Blair nods. Blair nods through most of it. Nina tries to listen, but still can’t reconcile the fact that apparently the entire room heard something completely different than what he did.

“I know I let you all down,” Blair says through tears. “And I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll do better.”

Ru smiles, but it’s tense and forced. “Based on the judges’ critiques,” he says, looking up and down the line, “I’ve made some decisions.”

Nina’s heart is in his throat. He can’t breathe, can’t focus, can’t keep himself upright.

“Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Nina West: you are the top two All Stars of the week.”

Nina’s heart bursts. Actual sparks are shooting from his chest (okay, not actual, but you couldn’t prove it by the warmth that radiates through him). He ventures a look out towards the mentors and sees Trixie and Monet on their feet high-fiving each other. And Monet’s looking at him and smiling, smiling, smiling.

Down the line, Vanessa is laughing. His hands are clasped together in front of his chest and his head is thrown back like he’s praying, but he’s laughing.

“You’ve each won a seven-night stay at the Atlantis Hotel in Nassau Paradise Beach, Bahamas,” Ru says, and Nina almost faints. “Nina Bo’nina Brown, Brooke Lynn Hytes: you are both safe.”

Nina hears Brooke exhale before he lifts his head and smiles up at the judges.

“That means Laganja Estranja and Blair St. Clair: I’m sorry, but you are in the bottom two.”

Blair cries even harder, and Nina kind of wants to hug her.

“Vanjie and Nina,” Ru continues, and oh shit, Nina might have forgotten this part of winning in All Stars. “Each of you needs to decide which one of the bottom two you will eliminate if you win the lip-sync.”

Nina’s heart is in his throat. He’s got to send one of his sisters home.

“While you deliberate backstage, the judges and I will… perform trust falls.”

It gets a laugh, but when they all file into the backstage lounge, Nina realizes he’s shaking. A couple of the girls grab cocktails (not Vanjie or Brooke) but Nina doesn’t need anything affecting his focus right now. He feels simultaneously sick and elated. Also a bit worried this might all be the result of a head injury or something. Maybe he tripped and fell on the very first day, and everything from then on has just been in his mind. It would explain whatever the hell happened with Blair’s performance.

“Congrats Top Two!” Asia raises her glass at Nina. “X-Queens represent. How you feel girls?”

The producers have been very clear that they’re supposed to talk this whole thing over, but Nina is having trouble finding the words. Vanjie’s quiet too, and he catches Nina’s eye from across the room, gives him a small smile.

“It’s good, you know. First challenge win, right. It’s gotta feel good.”

Brooke’s watching him, silent, with eyes that are so soft.

“Congratulations Vanjie,” Nina says the thing that Brooke would clearly say if his nerves would let him. “You deserve it.”

“So how are you going to decide?” Nina Bo’nina asks. “Every year they ask that, you gonna follow some rules or -”

“Hell no.” Vanjie cuts her off. “I don’t think that’s somethin’ that works out. You gotta listen to the judges but also - listen to yourself, right? I ain’t gonna just lay it all out now -”

“So I guess that means I’m fucking going home.” Laganja’s voice is shrill and sudden, and she stomps away from the group, heading towards the mirrors.

“No,” Vanessa calls after her. “I ain’t saying that, bitch. Listen -”

“Well you’ve already made your mind up!” Laganja shouts back. “So fuck me, right?”

Nina wants to make himself as small as possible. He knows that his eyes are probably wide, and his smile is probably crooked.

“No one is saying that, Laganja!” Shea doesn’t turn her head, but says it loud enough to be heard across the room.

“Yeah fucking right!” Laganja screams back, and Nina is - above all, a ‘nice’ person, and he’s not going to keep a conversation going like this, so -

He takes a deep breath and crosses the room to go talk to her.

They end up sitting in a corner somewhere that a P.A. has set up big velveteen chairs specifically for the purposes of these conversations. Laganja isn’t crying but her eyes are watery, and Nina can’t help but feel sympathy.

“Listen,” he says, because that is a respectable way to start a conversation. “I think you’re a great performer, I think you deserve to be here.”

Laganja sniffles miserably.

“We don’t have to talk about anything, but I wanted to - if you wanted to - give you a chance -” To what, Nina? “State your case. Or make an argument. Whatever you like.”

Laganja looks up at her.

“Or we can just sit in awkward silence, that’s fine too,” Nina says with a shrug. “I did attend a lot of waspy family dinners in the Midwest. At this point, I have a PhD in awkward silences.”

Laganja - actually smiles at this. Then she sighs.

“It’s sweet that you think you’re going to win.”

Oh.

Okay.

After that, the conversation dies a pretty natural death. Nina doesn’t know what else to say. She wishes Laganja luck, and then Laganja straight up refuses to talk to Vanjie. Fine. She’s making her choices.

Blair cries through most of her time with Nina (which is too bad because Nina is trying to figure out the least alarming way of asking her what the hell she sang about). Nina doesn’t know if Vanjie talks to Blair, but - really, it probably doesn’t matter. Maybe Laganja will be ready for a later season of All Stars (hopefully her edit will be kind) but she’s clearly not there yet. Even though she was kind of the worst, Nina almost feels bad for her. She’s talented, she just needs to get out of her own way.

They film him and Vanjie as they pick out their lipsticks. Nina plays up the conflict, but he can’t imagine it’s a huge choice for either of them. He smiles at Vanjie, squeezes his hand as they prepare to go back on stage with the rest of the queens.

The lights feel brighter than they were before. Nina hasn’t been this nervous since the last time he stood on stage waiting to lip-sync against Silky. It doesn’t make any sense when he thinks about it, because the stakes were so much higher that time. He knows he’s safe this time around, knows he’s coming back for another week regardless of how this whole thing with Vanjie plays out. The $10,000 would be nice, but is it worth it to have to send someone home Week One?

Fuck it. He wants the validation. Wants to prove that he is a good lip-syncer. Wants to shove aside all the shame that still burns hot in his belly when he thinks about giving his everything to stay on this stage and having it not be enough.

Production stops him and Vanjie just behind the stage and lets the other girls get into position before they walk onto the runway. Vanessa takes the opportunity to turn to Nina and pull him into a hug.

“However this goes, girl,” he says into Nina’s shoulder, “there ain’t no one else I’d have wanted to share this win with.”

“Same.” Nina breathes a shaky sigh into Vanessa’s hair.

Then production waves them in and they walk down the runway side-by-side. Nina blocks everything else out, tries not to see the other girls (especially Laganja and Blair, who stand to the right of the stage, barely visible in the lighting.) Nina doesn’t risk a glance at the mentors. He can’t handle seeing Monet and that perfect Goddamn smile right now.

Nina holds his head up high, focuses on Ru, runs the lyrics over and over in his head.

“Welcome back, ladies,” Ru says quietly. His entire demeanor is different now that it’s time to send the first queen home. “Two top All Stars stand before me. Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win ten thousand dollars, and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop. The time has come for you to lip-sync for your legacy. Good luck, and don’t fuck it up.”

The lights flash (Nina knows they will make this look far more dramatic on TV than it does on the stage, but it doesn’t help settle his stomach any) and the feel-good, pop beat of Lizzo’s “Juice” blares through the speakers.

Nina – goes insular. Doesn’t focus on Vanjie, doesn’t focus on anything other than the words of the song, the rhythm, the moves he’s making. Spin here. Dip there. Prance across the stage and pose. Hip rolls.

He couldn’t tell you what Vanessa’s doing, not until they reach the bridge, when Vanjie grabs his shoulder and points at the back of the stage to Brooke Lynn.

It takes a minute, then Nina realizes what part of the song they’re on.

“Somebody come get this man

I think he got lost in my DMs, what? My DMs, what?

You better come get your man

I think he wanna be way more than friends, what?

More than friends

What you want me to say?”

Nina shrugs, so Vanjie waves him off and they finish the song together, egging each other on through the last chorus until Vanessa ends with a triumphant death drop.

RuPaul, Michelle, and Ross are clapping and laughing, and it’s the exact opposite of the “meh” Nina got the last time he finished a lip-sync. He feels like he could fly. The mentors are on their feet, applauding, and there in the center is Monet, nodding and looking at him with eyes that are far too beautiful and soft.

Nina makes himself look away, looks at Ru, at the judges’ panel. There’s a brief camera break while production hands back their lipsticks and they secure them deep in their outfits. Vanessa opts for his bra; Nina goes with the sleeve of his leotard.

Once Ru is given the cue, he clears his throat. He looks them both over for a moment. And then:

“Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, you’re a winner, baby. You’ve earned a cash tip of ten thousand dollars. That means Trixie Mattel – you are also a winner, baby.”

“Oh, yay!” Trixie yelps from the mentors’ seats in the audience.

“You’ve won a cash tip of five thousand dollars.”

Vanjie’s doing that clasped-hand-prayer thing again, so Nina immediately walks over and hugs him. (He’s a hugger, even if Vanjie isn’t. Vanjie might be. Nina isn’t sure. Today, it would appear, they all are.)

It’s okay that he lost, Nina tells himself. There will be more lip-syncs, and he’s safe for another week. So he didn’t win ten thousand dollars, so what? He’s going to the Bahamas! And he doesn’t have to make an enemy yet. Everyone knows how that worked out for Shangela…

“Nina West,” Ru says, glancing at him, “you are safe. You may join the other girls.”

Nina pulls away from Vanjie, squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, and takes his place beside Brooke.

“Congrats,” Brooke whispers, reaching for his hand. Nina just nods in acknowledgement. His head is still spinning too quickly for him to think clearly.

“Will the bottom two queens please step forward?” Ru asks.

There’s a pause and the room goes deathly quiet as Blair and Laganja walk to the center of the stage, grasping hands. Blair has cried almost all of her makeup off. Nina’s heart aches for her. If she stays, Blair is the next person Nina’s going to hug. He’s drafting a list.

Ru shifts in her chair. “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, with great power comes great responsibility. Which queen have you chosen to get the chop?”

Vanjie swallows hard, takes a deep breath, steels himself. “I just wanna say that the person I chose is fierce as fuck. I was so excited to see her back in the Werk Room because I think she didn’t get a real good shot last time. I wanted to give you another chance, I really did, but you still letting your personal opinions about people and things get in the way and there ain’t room for that on All Stars.” Vanessa reaches into his bra and pulls out his lipstick. “So I’m sorry, but I gotta send you home, Laganja.”

Laganja just nods, tilts her head with a bit of a wry smile. (She did know it was coming, even after everything they did to assuage her fears. But Laganja’s always been a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.) She turns to Blair, gives her a quick hug, and then Blair practically runs to the back of the stage.

Nina opens his arms immediately, and Blair practically melts into him. He cradles her head, wipes the runny mascara from beneath her eyes.

“You’re still here. It’s okay.” If he’s got to be the mom of this season, so be it.

“Laganja Estranja,” RuPaul says, “as it is written, so it shall be done. You are and will always be an All Star. Now, sashay away.”

“Thank you so much,” Laganja says. Then she presses her forefinger and thumb together, brings them to her lips, and mimes taking a long drag from a joint. “It’s always four-twenty when ‘Ganja’s in the house, okurrrrrr?”

They clap and bid Laganja farewell (Shea rolls her eyes a bit, but not in a super obvious way). Nina feels himself relax for the first time all day.

“Con-drag-ulations, All Stars,” RuPaul says to them with a broad smile. “And remember, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else, can I get an amen up in here?”

“Amen!” the queens chorus in unison. Nina takes Blair’s hand and leads her back onto the runway as “Kitty Girl” plays over the speakers and the mentors join them on stage.

Trixie and Brooke both head straight for Vanjie, but Trixie wins the race. She embraces Vanessa, begins a slow, hilarious two-step that doesn’t match the music at all, but makes them all laugh.

Then there’s a tap on Nina’s shoulder and Monet is standing behind him. It catches Nina by surprise because he smells the same. Like mint toothpaste and sandalwood and hairspray.

Monet doesn’t speak, doesn’t have to. He just hugs Nina.

And Nina swallows down the stupid, pointless ache in his heart, and lets him.

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kimjoongs-main · 6 years

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first love! au - jaemin

↳ based off of this idea i had

↳ type: bullet scenario

↳ warning(s): n/a

↳ a/n: the amount of hw i could’ve finished instead of making this :’)

okay let’S GO

we all know how passionate is jaemin when it comes to volunteering and giving back to the community

so imagine him volunteering weekly at a daycare center near his neighborhood

he absolutely loves and adores all the children he meets and acts like a big brother figure to them

his reason for helping out in the daycare in the first place is that when he was younger, his mom would put him in a daycare and bc she had to work, and he remembers the older boys and girls who volunteered there when he was just a kid

he remembers how nice they were and the way they treated him, especially the boy who would always secretely give him a piece of candy every time he came in, and he remembers the sweet girl who would always boop his nose and ruffle his hair

jaemin wanted to reciprocate their love and affection to the kids at the daycare so that’s why when he first heard from renjun that they needed more people, jaemin jumped on that train so quick

now he’s been helping out at the daycare (w jeno, renjun, and hyuck as well) for about a year and a half

the kids absolutely admire him and would always cheer whenever they see jaemin walk in

the people who work at the daycare were very impressed at jaemin’s ability to memorize every single child’s face and name and even remember little things about them

and when a new child joins, jaemin easily makes them feel welcome by hovering around them and asking them to join in on games

he’ll tie back a little girl’s hair or give her a cute braid and he’ll give a little boy a piggyback ride around the center just to hear him laugh

also you better believe jaemin’s fiercely protective of these kids,,,like fiercely protective

one time a little girl named minji tripped and scraped her knee, she only let out one small cry and jaemin was already sprinting across the room, reaching little minji and scooping her up in his arms, gently tucking her head into his neck and quietly shushing her

he then proceeded to clean the scrape so it doesn’t get infected, all while carrying minji in his arms, and then after he read her a story to help her fall asleep soundly in his hold

renjun took a pic of this moment and jaemin loved it so much he made it his wallpaper

since jaemin’s super super good w the kids, the people at the daycare put him in charge of helping out the new volunteers and showing them how to do things

and that’s where you come in !! you’ve been desperately trying to find a place that takes volunteers bc you may or may not have made a stupid decision that almost got you suspended if it wasn’t for your parents pleading to the school to ease up the punishment

now instead of suspension, the school’s making you complete at least 200 hours of community service as a chance to “whip you into shape”

ofc you didn’t want to but it was better than getting suspended, so you reluctantly accepted the deal and now here you were, standing inside a daycare in front of a boy w peach pink hair and a smile too bright for your liking

“hi! you must be the new volunteer, my name’s jaemin and i’m in charge of helping you. nice to meet you!” he holds out his hand and you have to physically restrain yourself from flinching

you see, you weren’t the social type, the complete opposite actually, so you could already tell that this guy was someone you weren’t going to be all buddy buddy with

but you needed the hours so you just sucked it up and managed to send him your best smile and shook his hand

“nice to meet you too...i’m y/n” you replied quietly

right behind jaemin were three other boys who looked about the same age as him; one was currently painting a picture w a 4 year old girl, another was sitting on the floor w a group of kids and reading them a story, and the last one was running around the room chasing a little boy

jaemin looked over his shoulder to see what you were looking at and laughed “oh i should probably introduce you to everyone else. the one painting is renjun, the one on the floor is jeno, and the loud one is donghyuck”

you blinked at him as he gestured for you to follow him inside, which you did, but immediately regretted it when five children ran up to you and peered up at you curiously

they kept talking over each other, possibly trying to ask you a bunch of questions, and you felt overwhelmed

sensing your obvious discomfort, jaemin quickly moved over to stand next to you and clapped his hands, catching their attention

“okay kids that’s enough, y/n’s our newest helper so make be nice and welcoming okay? go on and play w the others, i’ll be right back”

and to your suprise, the kids responded back w a loud “yes nana” and left

jaemin looked at you sheepishly “sorry about that, they get really excited when a new person comes by since it’s usually us four that come in”

“it’s only the four of you volunteering here? i would’ve thought there’d be more”

jaemin sent you a sad smile as he showed you to the back room where he gestured for you to sit on the leather chair as he sat across from you

“i thought the same too, but whenever new people come they tend to leave pretty quickly after” “why?”

he sent you another sad smile “they find it difficult to take care of the kids. my friends and i are the ones who’ve volunteered the longest, so the center’s pretty grateful for us”

your heart aches slightly at the revelation and you peer out the door to look at the children, heart aching even more as you see them running around and laughing

“so, what brings you here?” jaemin asked, and you winced at the question, causing him to raise his eyebrows

“i..um...i made a really stupid decision..and my school’s making me do community service to make up for it.”

jaemin let out a soft oh and you mentally slap yourself; great, this guy probably thinks i’m a terrible person who’s only here bc i’m forced to, which technically isn’t a lie but—

“do you like kids, y/n?” jaemin’s next question interrupted your train of thought and you blink before it fully registered in your brain

“oh uh..yeah i do actually. i just..i’m not...very social..so i don’t know how to act around them yet.”

jaemin nodded his head at your answer, a serious look on his face, before he broke out into a soft smile and walked over to you, placing his hand gently on your shoulder

“well that’s good enough for me! listen, i know you probably think that i think you’re a bad person bc of the reason you’re here, but trust me when i say stuff like that doesn’t matter to me. just the fact that you came here instead of somewhere else says a lot. i’ll be here to help you out if you need it, so don’t worry y/n. i’ll make sure you not only complete your required hours, but that you also have fun doing it.”

jaemin grinned once more before he turned around and walked out “i’m gonna grab your uniform really quick, so stay put!”

you just sat there staring at the door in shock at what you just heard...it was the first time someone’s been that nice and nonjudgmental towards you

you glanced down at the comm. service log sheet in your hands and sighed “maybe....this won’t be so bad”

for the next few weeks, you and jaemin are practically glued to each other as he helps you get into the swing of things

as expected, you fumble a couple of times, but jaemin is always there to help you back up and even offers some advice so you don’t make the same mistake

since you two spend a lot of time together, it was inevitable that you two would grow close pretty quickly, and not just jaemin, but renjun, jeno, and donghyuck too

you sometimes found yourself being invited to hang out w them outside of the daycare and it’s so..refreshing to be around them

as the weeks pass, you also slowly become fond of the kids and vice versa; you’re especially fond of a little boy named juhyun who loves to hold your hand every chance he gets

and as jaemin watches you play w the kids, he can’t help but smile at how much more comfortable you’ve become, not just w him, his friends, or the kids, but w yourself too; he can tell you’re rlly enjoying your time here

and as you two spend more time together, and learn more things about each other, you two can’t deny the feelings brewing in the depths of your heart

jaemin’s kind, and self-less personality is what drew you to him and your willingness to learn and awkward, yet endearing nature is what drew jaemin to you

he was never rlly quite sure what his feelings for you were, until he witnessed something about you he’s never seen before

there was a new volunteer at the daycare and as usual jaemin was in charge of showing him around; you were playing w juhyun when jaemin left for a bit to grab the new guy’s uniform

at first everything was normal, but then you heard little areum start crying and your head whipped up so fast; areum was sitting next to a pile of toppled blocks and the new guy was standing next to her, glaring

“quit your crying, your block tower was in my way” his sharp tone caused areum to cry even louder

appalled, you stood up and made your way over to areum, carefully picking her up in your arms and tried to calm her down; you sent a glare to the new guy “what was that for? she’s just a little girl, you don’t have to be so rude”

the guy rolled his eyes “she’s annoying that’s what”

“if she’s so annoying then why don’t you leave? it’s obvious you don’t get along w kids so why are you even here?”

the guy stepped closer to you “you can’t tell me what to do”

“but i can” you breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of jaemin’s voice, and the guy whipped around

jaemin was standing there w a bright grin on his face, but the way he was clenching the uniform in his hands told you that he wasn’t actually happy

“here at the daycare, we put the well-being of the children as our first priority and ensure that they are safe and happy. however, since you’ve shown behavior that goes against that policy, i’m afraid i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

the guy scoffed, but left w/o a word, knowing that this was a fight he couldn’t win

when jaemin came back, he saw you kneeling in front of areum, gently cradling her face and wiping away her tears, and he felt his heart clench tightly at the sight

the worry on your face and the way you held areum as if she were a fragile piece of glass solidified his feelings for you

however, he was still unsure of how to express those feelings to you

and unbeknownst to him, you felt the same exact way :’)

a few more months pass and one day jaemin decided to walk you home from the daycare

on your way there, he asks you the comm. service hours thing is going and you falter a bit, biting your bottom lip shyly

jaemin, as perceptive as ever, quickly notices and asks if you’re okay

you stop walking and sigh, looking up and locking eyes w him; your heart skips a beat when you take in his iridescent eyes, twinkling as they reflect the light of the moon, you could get lost in them forever

“jaemin, there’s something i need to tell you...” you pause and he nods, urging you to continue “my community service hours...i completed all 200 hours a few weeks ago”

his eyes widen in surprise “seriously?! wait, if that’s the case then you don’t have to volunteer at the daycare anymore right?” you nod your head slowly “......then, why?”

you take a deep breath as you force yourself to step closer to him; jaemin gulps when you do so, but doesn’t make any move to stop you

“well it’s simple, i’ve fallen in love” jaemin felt his heart stop and his breath caught in his throat

“i’ve fallen in love w the kids, they’re my absolute world now and i would do anything for them. i’ve fallen in love w the daycare, it’s my safe haven. i’ve fallen in love with little juhyun who keeps falling asleep on me. but most importantly...” you step closer “...i’ve fallen in love with you, na jaemin”

jaemin’s chest fills with so much happiness and adoration for you as your words register through his brain. his beautiful bright smile appeared on his face, and you can’t help but smile back

and that’s all it takes for jaemin to close the tiny gap btwn the two of you; he brings his hands up and gently cups your cheeks as his lips land softly on top of yours

the kiss is sweet and so jaemin-like that you feel your stomach doing all kinds of flips and tricks; you reach out and grab onto his jacket, tugging him closer to you as the kiss deepens

you two break apart when the need for air becomes apparent, but jaemin leans forward and rests his forehead against yours

“that’s funny, bc i’ve fallen in love with all of those things too” you start blushing “except for juhyun tho, that little guy needs to back off”

you giggle at the playful glare on his face and jaemin’s expression softens at the sound; he plants another kiss on your lips and...let’s just say your parents weren’t too happy when you came back home after the sun went down :’)

the next day, you and jaemin walked in the daycare hand-in-hand, receiving knowing looks from renjun and jeno, and a loud whoop from hyuck

and when the kids saw you and jaemin sneak in a quick kiss, chaos ensued

“jaemin and y/n sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” “jaemin just kissed y/n!!” “eww they’re kissing”

you just laugh and scold the kids for their teasing, and jaemin kisses you again for fun

#nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #jaemin scenarios #nct au #nct dream au #jaemin au

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taaroko · 6 years

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Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Ant-Man

Yay, time for Ant-Man! This one has rather grown on me over the last couple of viewings (not that I ever didn’t like it).

Hi middle-aged Peggy! (Isn’t it great how many times Hayley Atwell managed to get herself into these movies beyond what the original plan was, out of sheer enthusiasm? Yeah, I’m still bitter Agent Carter got cancelled.)

The music for the logo is awesome.

My killjoy brother says the main reason he dislikes this movie is that he doesn’t think it makes sense that Hank would ever trust some stranger (Scott) with his tech. Um. Hank has been protective of the tech because he doesn’t want it to be abused. But Scott proved he wasn’t a corporate goon by going to prison for screwing over a corrupt corporation. He’s proven himself. Also he doesn’t have the knowledge to make more of the particles, so he can’t steal any of the secrets himself.

Luis is probably my favorite sidekick in the whole MCU. He’s irrepressibly cheerful, he compulsively makes delicious-looking waffles, he’s a refined wine man and fan of neo-cubism yet also steals two smoothie machines, and when he goes into ramble mode it’s the greatest thing ever.

Anyone who has ever worked food service has met an idiot like Scott’s customer. Also his boss is basically David Brent. Trying way too hard to be cool, but kind of a git and a coward.

Scott’s attitude is super endearing. Very chill, understated reactions to things that annoy him. You get the impression that it’s not so much that he’s a very patient man as that he’s just so used to stuff like Luis’s antics that he’s become kind of inured to it. He’s also able to roll with the punches. Getting fired from Baskin Robbins could’ve made him bitter and angry, but instead he just kind of shrugs and takes that Mango Fruit Blast. He’s not prideful at all.

I called the tank being real by the second time the keychain appeared onscreen. Chekhov’s Tank!

Hello, Darren Cross, dude who is only not the worst MCU villain because Malekith exists. (How did Malekith manage to have less of a personality than Darren? It’s absurd.)

The ad video for the Yellowjacket is horrifying. Do people actually make ad videos for advanced weaponry? Do they narrate them with movie narrator voices and tidy up the diction to make them sound like wonderful good pieces of technology, but in a not-entirely-convincing way?

How is a hand on a shoulder such a sinister and obvious sign of impending murder?

Cassie is the most adorable little girl ever, and the kid playing her is a really good actress. I love that Scott is a dad. It makes him much more interesting. (Also is he the only divorcé in the entire MCU? Wait no, May is too. I think he’s the only one in the movies, though.)

“He’s so ugly! I LOVE HIM!” AAAAGH. SO CUTE.

I love that all the little details keep coming back. (The tank, the “La Cucaracha” horn.” Just lots of really good callbacks. It’s hard to believe this movie had production issues with changing directors.)

The way Darren kills that guy by shrinking him, and then wipes him up and flushes him, is ridiculously horrific. And the way he looks in the mirror after that is probably the most interesting he ever is in the movie. He knows the path he’s going down, and he’s not stopping.

So it’s not entirely clear. Is Hope dating Darren? Are they living together? Or are they just business partners? I’m confused.

YES LUIS STORY TIME. This is like Kid History, and it’s my favorite thing. Please please please make an MCU recap narrated by Luis, Marvel.

This music is weird and fun. I love it.

Scott parkouring is great. I wonder why he developed that skillset when he was just an electrical engineer. Has he been doing it since he was a kid?

Scott is like the midpoint between Tony Stark and Peter Quill in almost every way. Good at outside-the-box solutions, has engineering skills (but not at Tony’s level), a sense of humor that’s more self-deprecating than Tony’s but less wide-eyed dorky than Peter’s, etc. That’s awesome.

Could you be more transparently evil than using a bleating white lamb for your ill-fated lab experiments?

Huh. There’s a moment where Scott looks in the mirror too. Is that meant to be a contrast with when Darren does it? For Scott, it’s a moment where he resigns himself to failing, even though he caved and did the burglary. I don’t really see the connection, emotionally, to the way Darren looked in the mirror, but I guess one of them is the apprentice Hank rejected, and the other is the apprentice he ultimately chose. *shrug*

Ant-Man perspective is great. The encounter with the rat is terrifying.

You broke Scott’s chill, Hank!

Okay, so Scott’s actual superpower is changing his clothes at the speed of light. It was entirely unnecessary for them to give him such a small interval of time to get the suit on.

“What happens if I throw up in this helmet?”

There were zero bullet ants on the floor in the initial wide shot of the room. Also in the second wide shot. Which takes place two seconds before Scott tries to put his foot on the floor. Did they...forget to render ants in those shots? Or did they forget there were going to be ants there when they filmed from that angle? Gonna count that one as a mistake, because they could not have gotten all over the floor that fast.

They really needed to do more to explain about Darren’s brain chemistry getting messed up by the particles, because as far as I can tell, the first time he ever shrinks himself is on the helicopter at the end. How do these particles make him evil/crazy, exactly? What was he like before? What have the particles done to Hank?

Also they shouldn’t have explained the particles as changing “atomic relative distance” without also explaining that the suit allows you to control your weight relative to size. Because sometimes Ant-Man appears to weigh as much as he looks like he should, but the rest of the time, he’s clearly still 180 lbs in that tiny space (with the reverse problem when he becomes Giant-Man). If he always weighed 180 lbs while being the size of an ant, he would constantly punch through surfaces by walking on them, and if he was always the weight of an ant, he’d be powerless to do anything except be sneaky.

The montages in this movie are great.

Scott uses Hope’s move later. :D And she was totally checking him out.

Huh. Hope and Scott’s conversation in the car happens exactly halfway through the movie, and it’s the turning point. This is when they start being on the same team.

Hank’s revelation about Janet comes rather out of nowhere. I feel like they could’ve woven that in more effectively. It’s also a little exposition-heavy to entirely work on the emotional level.

This gesture by Scott is one of the best things.

I love the crossovers. Crossovers forever! (Seriously, put Thor cameos in future GotG movies and Loki cameos in future Doctor Strange movies. No, I don’t for a second believe Loki is really dead.)

Poor Sam. He missed out on Sokovia just to get trolled by this rando in a shrinking suit.

Hope saw Scott use her move! Hee!

Sinister hand on shoulder!

Okay, Hope’s “I’m at home” line is why I was confused about whether she and Darren were dating and living together. But it occurs to me now that there’s not really an implication that it’s his home too. So I think they’re just business partners. Good. Because Darren being double-crossed by his girlfriend and failing to react on that level would have made him a much worse character than he already was.

Seriously love Luis, and the other two guys are great too. Excellent crew of wombats.

I love the wallpaper in Hank’s house. Also, just, all of Hank’s house. It’s so pretty.

Okay I absolutely believe that Luis was the only guy to ever knock out that huge dude from the prison. He’s been knocking people out with single punches left and right on this job so far. I love him even more now! That’s such a cool little bit of consistency for him.

Is it true that cops use Crown Victorias as their undercover cars most often? Because I’ve kind of assimilated that as real-life trivia ever since theaters.

What was the point of frying the servers if they were just going to shrink the building to nothing anyway?

Kurt and Tip are hilarious. “There was a black guy who looked exactly like me who attacked us and put us in the back of this disgusting van!”

So if the Avengers have spent the last year taking down Hydra facilities, how are there still people in Hydra who can spend billions for Yellowjacket suits?

I thought Hank was going to die the first time I saw this. Now I’m betting this will be a How to Train Your Dragon situation with Ant-Man and the Wasp, where not long after we discover the long-lost mom, the dad gets killed.

Darren’s villain music is the best thing about him. It’s very unnerving.

All the fights while Scott’s in the suit are so much fun to watch.

“Are we the good guys? Feels kinda weird.”

I don’t like that the chain attachment on the tank also gets huge. And how does a tank cushion a three-storey drop?

That Darren is able to shoot ants is very silly and weird. Would’ve worked better if there was buckshot or something. But still. This movie made me care about an ant dying.

Dangit, Darren, you just killed everyone else in the chopper. You suck.

Briefcase fight! I remember how hard everyone laughed when “Disintegration” started playing in theaters. So great.

All the abrupt cuts from epic to insignificantly small are what make these fights so funny and awesome.

Bug zapper! I watched this with my dad recently (his first time seeing it) and he laughed so hard at the bug zapper.

Another tased Avenger!

So I thought this movie was going to be stupid, right up until the trailer got to the bit with Thomas the Tank Engine. Then I knew it was going to be amazing. It’s still probably my favorite moment in the whole movie.

They kinda overdid it with the “back it up” bit.

Giant ant! Poor Paxton.

Did anyone not see it coming from the moment Hank talked about going sub-atomic that Scott was going to have to do it at the end?

The infinite shrink is mesmerizing to look at. I bet this movie was cool in 3-D. (I have glasses, so 3-D is not so fun.)

Hi Janet!

The bottom half of that face in the photo actually looks kinda like Michelle Pfeiffer’s face. Nice work!

Hahaha, I love that Cassie kept the ant as a dog.

MORE STORIES FROM LUIS! The way he blinks too many times after he finishes is what really clinches it.

So yeah, I like me a heist movie, and it was definitely a brilliant decision on Marvel’s part to go small (figuratively and literally) with the next movie after Ultron. It is a mistake to think you always have to escalate your threats in a series. That was the problem for a while with Supernatural, and it’s definitely a problem in shows like Dragonball Z and Naruto too. Ant-Man was the perfect way to scale back and remind us that these movies are a ton of fun. I’m so glad that they did the same thing with the scheduling of Infinity War and Ant-Man and the Wasp, and I can’t wait for July 6.

I really hope Ant-Man and the Wasp does the same thing Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 did, and goes deeper with the characters instead of just getting bigger in scope. Because Ant-Man is one of the more surface-level movies in the MCU. Scott doesn’t really carry a lot of angst, so even though his arc is about proving he can be the hero Cassie sees him as, it’s pretty chill, with just a couple of moments where he loses...hope...(dang it) in his ability to make this work and be the dad he wants to be.

The bigger emotional arc was Hank and Hope, because Hope absolutely carries her angst and bitterness in a big way. They’re kind of a representation of what Scott and Cassie could end up being if Scott doesn’t get his crap together. And Darren is an evil parallel for Scott, obviously. All of the different arcs probably would’ve worked better if they’d spent enough time and effort on Darren to make him interesting. But the lack of depth in all of the arcs doesn’t ruin the movie because it’s a comedy. This is deliberately a light, fun comedy action movie, and it’s great.

Also it has a good and memorable soundtrack, so bonus points.

#ant-man #scott lang #hank pym #hope pym #mcu rewatch #Infinity War spoilers #marvel

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anneedmonds · 6 years

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An Interiors Tizz and Two Helping Hands

All of this house-styling stuff, this current obsession with Instagram-perfect interiors, it’s driving me to distraction! I’m just so torn. On the one hand, I want to put some effort into doing up my house – I want to make it lovely and I want to do it justice. It’s rather handsome and grand and – quite honestly – our battered de Sede sofa (not to be confused with a de Sade sofa, which I’m not sure even exists but would be something very, very different) doesn’t quite cut the mustard. (I thought that it would look cool – an iconic mid-century piece juxtaposed with classic regency styling – but it just looks old and knackered.) The walls, of which there are many, are all painted in varying shades of white and very pale grey, which is fresh – and possibly handy in providing something of a blank canvas – but lacking personality.

But where do I start? There are so many options, so many different ways to arrange and frame and layer. And I’ve been scared to get going, if truth be known, because I feel a little bit overwhelmed by it all – both the scale of the project and the vast amount of choice that we now have when it comes to wallpaper patterns, paint colours, carpet weaves, sofa sizes, curtain fabrics, curtain tracks, lightbulb wattages, rug edgings, tap finishes, window catches… It’s a bloody minefield.

So on the one hand yes, I want to do the house justice and “get it right”, but on the other hand I have Mr AMR who is (I think) entirely sick of the whole thing and would just like some carpet down and some wall lights up and a bedside table to rest his radio on thank you very much indeed. And who is of the school of thought (probably quite rightly) that a house is for living in and that it should be comfortable and practical and warm. However, he also happens to be very opinionated about interior decorating, which makes him far less laid back about the whole thing than he might initially seem. He loves good furniture and wallpaper, hates painted walls and MDF and has an obsession with “inside outside spaces” (think huge, floor-to-ceiling glazing, a la our old house).

It’s clear, then, that things aren’t as straightforward as they could be with this whole house-decorating lark. An abundance of choice when it comes to decor materials, which is often not a helpful thing, an indecisive, often-in-disagreement couple (though we both adore the light we had made for the living room, pictured above) and a work life spent mostly on social media, where the interiors style du jour is “white wall + succulent + some kind of typography”. Which isn’t a diss, by any means – it’s a lovely, unfussy look – it just makes things more difficult when there’s an avalanche of imagery that’s all quite similar. You start to wonder whether your own tastes are misguided or too eccentric or just plain wrong.

But last week my style doubts were dispelled and my interiors passions reignited thanks to two people. The first, Kate Watson-Smyth, has a book (and award-winning blog) called Mad About the House and I cannot recommend it enough. I’ll write a lengthier post about it, but it basically does away with the dubious Pinterest interiors “guidance” and tells it like it is, which is that you should be decorating your home for you and your needs but also choosing things that make your heart sing. Not just beige because it’s practical. One of the things I love about the book is that it has very little in the way of pictures, which is good, because it doesn’t cloud your thoughts with fluff and forces you to think about your own spaces and how you want to use them, rather than being led by images of other people’s houses. It’s filled with practical – brilliantly useful – advice and so, if you don’t know where to start with your home, whether it’s the dark hallway you want to revive or a whole house overhaul, this is the book for you. I bought mine on Amazon here*.

The second person to reignite my interiors spark was the wonderful Martin Waller, who founded the iconic interiors brand Andrew Martin in the 70s. The flagship Andrew Martin showroom is on Walton Street in London and I went there with Angelica on a very rainy Monday morning to take a look around. I had seen some rather splendid furniture for the living room on their website and wanted to see it “in real life” and I was so glad that I made the trip because it turned out to be an absolute treasure trove of beautiful, eclectic, sometimes-bizarre finds. Andrew Martin has quite the heritage when it comes to designing and building sets for films and making amazing, theatrical props. They do large-scale installations for shows (I saw photos of gargantuan wooden elephants, replica life-size space rockets, salvaged propellor planes) and often do the interiors for big, glitzy hotels and houses and this experience and interiors joie de vivre absolutely reveals itself in all of the things that are displayed in the showroom.

I was in my element. Quirky, unusual, slightly off-beat objects are my interiors catnip. Which is why I went away quite a lot lighter in the purse department after having bought an oversized Jeff Koons-inspired balloon dog statue. Haven’t got the foggiest where I’ll put it, but it has arrived in Somerset and is currently crated up in a mass of bubble wrap in a corner of the living room. Which will make for an interesting conversation when Mr AMR gets home… Ironically, I didn’t even get around to ordering any furniture because I didn’t want to choose it on my own – there were so many things that would have been perfect. So we’re going for a second trip, this time perhaps without Angelica, who spent an hour dancing over the top of a light installation that’s set into the floor at the entrance, and with Mr AMR.

The furniture range that I have my eye on is the “Rufus” range – the brass on these shelves goes perfectly with the brushed brass lights I have in the living room and the wood is walnut, which seems to be our familial wood of choice. Along with rosewood. Can’t seem to shift those mid century leanings! This sort of thing is my ideal style – a bit of low-key glitz from the satin-finish brass, a touch of warmth from the wood and those clean, elegant lines. There’s also a console table and a coffee table, I love them all.

Lots to feast your eyes on if you go to the Andrew Martin website, but I would absolutely say to drop in at the showroom if you’re in London – I left feeling very invigorated and inspired but also comforted by the fact that there are other people who like giant apples and OTT lighting and wallpaper with flocked penguins on it. Although what I did love about the place was that the more fantastical things were sort of anchored, or tempered, by the beautifully-made, timeless pieces of furniture. There was something for everyone. I’ll take better photos the next time I go!

More interiors stuff coming up – I’ve had lots of requests for a post on lighting, so I’ll round up my current favourites for you to peruse. Also I have a sofa positioning dilemma that I need you to help solve – I realise it’s not up there with the worst of the world’s problems, but if you like floorplans and mathematical quandaries then you might find it enjoyable.

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An Interiors Tizz and Two Helping Hands was first posted on April 17, 2018 at 12:58 pm. ©2017 "A Model Recommends". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at [email protected] An Interiors Tizz and Two Helping Hands published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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I’ve Been Drawing A Comic Every Day For My Girlfriend For 5 Years (20+ New Comics, NSFW)

Hello, my name’s Pete, I’m a UK-based illustrator, and ever since I began dating my partner Kellie 5 years ago I’ve been making her illustrations based on our lives together. We also have a 2-year-old daughter now, Poppy, and I love to capture all the funny and important moments from our daily lives.

The drawings are a mixture of tender, romantic moments combined with silly, crude, and very British humor.

We were previously featured here, and we got such an amazing response we thought we’d share a collection of our recent illustrations. Our followers (who are an incredibly supportive and kind group of people) love to watch Poppy growing up in our posts, and all the relatable relationship moments Kellie and I share.

More info: Instagram

My favourite part of just about every day is when I come home from work and Poppy is waiting excitedly at the window for me. As I approach our house I always hope she’ll be there, patiently peering out. It’s so beautiful to see her face light up when she sees me, and the way she eagerly runs to the door to greet me and tell me what she’s been up to all day …

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Every night when Kellie and I are ready to sleep we say goodnight, roll over…. and go on our phones. Own up if you do too

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

We like to surprise each other with unexpected dry humping when the other is doing household chores—As our popularity and audience has increased this last month it’s meant that for the first time we’re encountering trolls and negativity. Bit bummed out by it to be honest Thank you so much to everyone that’s been nice and supportive, you’ll never know how much we appreciate it. —…..

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Seconds after walking through the front door Kellie will change into her pyjamas, beaming with joy at the blissful comfort they bring .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie suffers with postnatal depression, and Pete also suffers. Life can be hard sometimes. .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Last night I had to be firm with Kellie

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

So Kellie often thinks she’s lost her phone. She gets all flustered and panics, thinking it’s gone forever. It’s always, without fail, been in her bag the whole time haha

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

All week I’ve been a bit of a pathetic, self-pitying mess because I’ve got a cold. I get all miserable and melancholy when I’m sick and I’m shit company. Sorry Kellie

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

I noticed an empty space where a plant should have been. Turns out it was the latest victim of our plant curse.

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This is one of my bad habits that Kellie finds amusing/infuriating .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Yesterday we dismantled Poppy’s cot and she helped me build her first little toddler bed. She was so excited about it and eager to help

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

If I leave my phone unattended when I’m getting ready for bed sometimes Kellie secretly changes the wallpaper to some graphic gay porn and waits to see my shocked face .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie woke me up worrying she was concussed. (She was fine )

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie got me with a surprise hump-attack in the kitchen. Excellent form and creativity, full marks

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

After bathing Poppy I love to wrap her up all cosy and say to her she’s ‘snug as a bug in a rug’. She says it back to me now and it’s adorable. .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie is infinitely more important to the smooth running of our household than me. I’m a daydreaming procrastinator with a knack for silly voices, Kellie gets shit done

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie is hungry the situation can escalate quickly. You need to get her some food fast, or get the hell out of there .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When I exercise at home Poppy likes to join in and tries to imitate the positions I get into —– Welcome to all the new followers! I think most of you have come via boredpanda.com – thank you We were planning on doing a giveaway when we reached 10k followers… we now have over 20k haha. So this week there’ll definitely be a giveaway of some sort – feel free to suggest ideas. Did people like the personalised illustration we did last time or would rather signed prints? Let us know. Much love from Kellie & Pete ❤️ . . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

After every bathtime Poppy and I throw our towels on the floor and run around the house naked, giggling and doing silly dances. — There’s still time to enter the giveaway on our last post – win a personalised version of any of our illustrations- go go go! —- . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This is what happened when I turned over to sleep the other night. Kellie can be all sleepy and telling me she’s tired, but as soon as I roll over to sleep she comes alive and desperately craves attention . All the dialogue I use in the illustrations are actual quotes by the way haha — We’ll be picking a winner for the giveaway tomorrow evening (GMT). You have one more day to enter if you want to win a personalised version of one of our illustrations. — We’re on the homepage of the Swiss magazine Annabelle, and there’s a lovely article about us on The Daily Mail too – welcome to anyone who’s discovered us today — . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Every night when we lay down to sleep Kellie pleads with me to scratch her back. I think it may be her favourite thing in the whole world …. Thanks for all the responses about prints! We will definitely be selling some soon, but we need help choosing which ones to print. Can you comment to let us know what your favourite illustration of ours is? The most popular will be up for sale — . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

There’s nothing Poppy likes more than bum bouncing on the bed. (Okay, boobs – she likes boobs more. But only just. )

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie had sunburn on her shoulders and now I kinda like peeling the skin off like a monkey — . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Over the past month from out of the blue a cat has been paying us visits on a daily basis. He hangs out at our place so much now that we started buying him food. We call him ‘Cat’. — We now have a Facebook fan page We had lots of comments from people who don’t use Instagram but who really wanted to follow us, so from now on we’ll be reposting there too. You can find us at http://ift.tt/2zzc2Xs – give us a little follow if you like ☺️ —- . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy does this adorable running cuddle that I call The Dash-dash Cuddle.

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie has OCD about switches being turned off, so before leaving the house she will stare at the hob for an eternity, checking and triple-checking that everything is turned off. And then have one last check. Just to be absolutely sure. — . . — We’re overwhelmed by all the kindness shown on our last post about trolls. So much positivity and support, Kellie and I are both touched. Often the most vocal people are the negative ones, so it was wonderful to see how many of you out there across the world enjoy our art. You’re amazing . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

For Poppy’s Birthday we bought her a mini Micro Scooter. We’d been telling her for ages how she was getting her own one and when she unwrapped it she almost exploded with happiness — 80k followers! Amazing You’re the most supportive and uplifting people and Kellie and I feel honoured to have you all following us. We take great pleasure in reading all of your positive and funny messages. We’re so grateful for each and every one. Have a great weekend guys . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Sometimes Kellie will be eating food really noisily right next to me, and I’ll passive-aggressively let her know its irritating me — – PRINTS ON SALE IN 2 DAYS TIME!! Kellie and I are busy getting all the illustrations scanned in and cleaned up ready for printing. We’re both really excited about launching the shop, we have plenty of ideas in store for the future if these are popular ❤️ . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

I’m not entirely sure how, but the other day when I was getting dressed we found ourselves in a situation where I goaded Kellie into whipping me across the ass incredibly hard with a plastic backscratcher (with my pants pulled up like a thong) . . — PRINTS ON SALE TOMORROW! Worldwide shipping available, various sizes and framing options if required ❤️ . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy has started doing this adorable thing that we call the Koala Cuddle. When you’re carrying her she’ll wrap both her arms and legs around your body and if you’re really lucky she’ll tell you she loves you — Our shop is now open! 🤗 International shipping available Follow the link in our bio and bag yourself a print of my melted cock . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

One of my favourite silly dance moves to make Kellie laugh is what I call the Squat Crab dance. I basically lower myself into a squat position and then bounce sideways across the room like a hyperactive crab until Kellie cracks up laughing 🦀 — — In the next couple of weeks we’ll be adding GREETING CARDS to the shop! Who’s in? . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This morning’s clean socks excitement. Kellie takes care of us . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Sometimes when Kellie is in a silly or bored mood, she might try to make me suck a pretend dick. — — Haha often some of you say you do the same things we do, but I’ll be amazed if anyone else does this — — Greeting cards for all occasions coming to the shop in the next week or so. Keep an eye out. Link to the shop is in our bio. International shipping available ❤️ . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When we’re eating dinner Poppy silently offers me every spoonful to cool down for her. It’s so adorable. . . I’ve been looking at the analytics for our page and it’s really interesting. Apparently Bangkok is the city with the most of our followers in! We had no idea. Say hi if you’re in Bangkok . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy loves to bake with Mummy. She sits on the floor and helps with the mixing and the sprinkling and the pouring . . . Thanks to everyone who commented on our last post. Your support and kindness means a lot. Sorry to hear so many of you suffer as well, but hopefully us posting about it at least made you realise you’re not alone. Take care everyone. . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Every night when Kellie and I are ready to sleep we say goodnight, roll over…. and go on our phones. Own up if you do too . . . We’re in the process of sorting out greeting cards, we’ll keep you posted. In the mean time prints are still available from our shop – link in our bio. Hope everyone had a great weekend . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie really enjoys when I sing in the car . . . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The other day when Kellie was in the supermarket buying dinner she said she could hear my voice telling her to buy the expensive versions, like a little devil on her shoulder. (Kerry Katona is a British reference, she’s the face of one of the budget supermarkets in the UK) . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy loves it when I play dolls with her. I’ve always got really into it and do things like make them climb up surfaces strenuously, panting and out of breath as they get to the top haha. She finds it hilarious and always asks me to do it now. I wonder if she thinks the dolls are really alive or if she just likes watching how into it I get . . (See also the Kung-fu baby post from a while back) . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The time I stood with my penis hanging out, acting natural and waiting for Kellie to notice . . . . (Sort of inspired by the Ryan Reynolds comedy ‘Waiting’ ) . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This is a typical scene for us about 4am, with Poppy asserting her dominance and Kellie seeking refuge at the foot of the bed so Pops can’t smell the boob milk 🥛 . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

I don’t recall how it started but sometimes at dinner Poppy will suddenly stop eating and raise her plate up, or slide it forward, or do something with her cutlery, starting an impromptu game of follow the leader. Kellie and I follow along as she goes through a series of actions, silently, until we all start giggling and get back to eating dinner. . .. Sorry for lack of posts this past week – very busy with work . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This happened one morning last week. Kellie was adamant she had a legitimate grievance here, but I think my explanation of ‘I was asleep’ was sufficient . . Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend. It’s a sunny bank holiday here in the U.K. – niiiiiice .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie woke up with a spot on her face this week her description was brilliant . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy loves it when I pretend to make baby feed her. It’s a guaranteed way to get her to eat, and she loves the entertainment too

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Something Kellie said to me one night last week when I attempted to sleep facing her . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

If I’m really lucky, Kellie may occasionally treat me to a pedicure. I think I enjoy it slightly more than she does .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The perils of being a pale-skinned English guy on holiday in a hot country . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie and I differ when it comes to bath routines. I get in practically as soon as the taps start running, whereas Kellie insists on waiting around for ages until the bath is totally full. How about you guys? . . . There’s still time to request a print to be added to our shop I’m adding a new batch at the weekend. There’ll also be a discount code for a limited period so keep an eye out . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Whenever poppy needs help getting up onto something, or down, or is tired walking, I make it fun by using rocket jumps. I’ll pretend to press a few buttons on her back (setting the jet pack up) and attach the fuel, then we’re off . . . New prints in our store – and for the next 2 weeks there’s 25% off! Use discount code HZJGJK. Thanks to those who have purchased in the last few days, we love you ⚡️ . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The other day when we went for a coffee I tried to introduce Kellie to the pleasures of a flat white. It was a little too strong for her and she spent the rest of the day telling me she felt weird . . There’s still time to enter our 90k GIVEAWAY for the chance to win a signed print of your choice (from any of our drawings, not just those in our shop). See our last post for details . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This last week or so with Poppy have been very difficult. She’s going through a phase of bad tantrums where she screams at us as loudly as she possibly can, demanding what she wants (even when the demands are ridiculous and make no sense) . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

And the winner is….

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie and I had a rare cinema date at the weekend, to watch Blade Runner. It felt like there were 3 of us on the date though… . . . Blade Runner 2049 is sublime by the way. If you’re a fan of the original, go see .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Urinal etiquette . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie and I are having a disagreement there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to piss her off… . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2i200Pf via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

Text

I’ve Been Drawing A Comic Every Day For My Girlfriend For 5 Years (20+ New Comics, NSFW)

The drawings are a mixture of tender, romantic moments combined with silly, crude, and very British humor.

More info: Instagram

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Every night when Kellie and I are ready to sleep we say goodnight, roll over…. and go on our phones. Own up if you do too

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Seconds after walking through the front door Kellie will change into her pyjamas, beaming with joy at the blissful comfort they bring .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie suffers with postnatal depression, and Pete also suffers. Life can be hard sometimes. .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Last night I had to be firm with Kellie

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

So Kellie often thinks she’s lost her phone. She gets all flustered and panics, thinking it’s gone forever. It’s always, without fail, been in her bag the whole time haha

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

All week I’ve been a bit of a pathetic, self-pitying mess because I’ve got a cold. I get all miserable and melancholy when I’m sick and I’m shit company. Sorry Kellie

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

I noticed an empty space where a plant should have been. Turns out it was the latest victim of our plant curse.

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This is one of my bad habits that Kellie finds amusing/infuriating .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Yesterday we dismantled Poppy’s cot and she helped me build her first little toddler bed. She was so excited about it and eager to help

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

If I leave my phone unattended when I’m getting ready for bed sometimes Kellie secretly changes the wallpaper to some graphic gay porn and waits to see my shocked face .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie woke me up worrying she was concussed. (She was fine )

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie got me with a surprise hump-attack in the kitchen. Excellent form and creativity, full marks

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

After bathing Poppy I love to wrap her up all cosy and say to her she’s ‘snug as a bug in a rug’. She says it back to me now and it’s adorable. .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie is infinitely more important to the smooth running of our household than me. I’m a daydreaming procrastinator with a knack for silly voices, Kellie gets shit done

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie is hungry the situation can escalate quickly. You need to get her some food fast, or get the hell out of there .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

There’s nothing Poppy likes more than bum bouncing on the bed. (Okay, boobs – she likes boobs more. But only just. )

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie had sunburn on her shoulders and now I kinda like peeling the skin off like a monkey — . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy does this adorable running cuddle that I call The Dash-dash Cuddle.

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This morning’s clean socks excitement. Kellie takes care of us . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Kellie really enjoys when I sing in the car . . . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The time I stood with my penis hanging out, acting natural and waiting for Kellie to notice . . . . (Sort of inspired by the Ryan Reynolds comedy ‘Waiting’ ) . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

This is a typical scene for us about 4am, with Poppy asserting her dominance and Kellie seeking refuge at the foot of the bed so Pops can’t smell the boob milk 🥛 . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie woke up with a spot on her face this week her description was brilliant . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Poppy loves it when I pretend to make baby feed her. It’s a guaranteed way to get her to eat, and she loves the entertainment too

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Something Kellie said to me one night last week when I attempted to sleep facing her . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

If I’m really lucky, Kellie may occasionally treat me to a pedicure. I think I enjoy it slightly more than she does .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

The perils of being a pale-skinned English guy on holiday in a hot country . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

And the winner is….

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

Urinal etiquette . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

When Kellie and I are having a disagreement there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to piss her off… . . . . .

Image credits: kellie_and_pete

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2i200Pf via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

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