#absolutely cannot take you seriously now lmao

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[everythingne]

marketing ploy - ln4 ch7

Lando recovers. McLaren and Red Bull own up. Olivia and Lando decide the future, and give Oscar a heart attack while doing so. We get our happy ending.

piastri!oc x lando norris, bestfriends brother/fake dating

warnings/notes: hospital visits, mentioned injuries, loopiness from medication, pregnancy/sex jokes, media being bitches, lando going 'guys i gotta keep her' and doing the absolute MOST lmao, this is also TECHNICALLY the last chapter but im gonna write more for olivia and lando most def (also olivia will feature as oscars sister in other fics bc i love her)

prev |

-

I haven't run in years.

I can feel the burn of the air in my lungs as I force them open, adrenaline making every rib shake as I suck in a breath and force it back out. My shoes slam into the floor of the paddocks, sending jolts up my legs as I whisk my bag over my shoulder and 'just go' as Christian had said. My mind is swimming with a thousand thoughts. What if he was seriously injured? He was able to walk, but he collapsed, was it his legs? Or his ribs? What if it's his back? Or his arms? How long will he be out? Is this a whole-season issue or just a few weeks?

Fuck, I cannot be thinking about this right now.

I sweep the room quickly to make sure I have everything, patting my pockets to check for my phone--which is nestled in the back left pocket of my jeans, before whirling around and out of the room.

Once I'm out of the paddocks and towards the exits, where it opens a bit more, the wind whisks into my skin and bites me as I use one hand to dig through the side pocket to find Lando's car keys. I can't steady my hands, even when I'm trying to control their shake, they just get worse. Whether it's fear or anxiety, I find it plain annoying as I struggle to get the small keychain out of my bag. Lando had driven me here from the hotel and shoved the keys in my bag since he didn't walk in with his bag and didn't want to lose the car keys.

Luckily, he had, because talking to anyone in this state would be a bust. I could feel my attitude snipping at my heart as people shouted my name at me. I couldn't stop. I had to find Lando. I knew what hospital he'd be taken to, I had to get there in one piece.

And it was going to be hard with the fucking media right here.

A few reporters try to follow me, but I'm able to slip through the crowds like water. Once I make it to the parking lot, a woman steps in front of me with her camera held high and I shout.

"Can you fucking move?!" And shove her to the side as I zip out of the lot. Fuck the standards, fucking being polite, I'll ask for forgiveness later. And apologize, probably.

Throwing my bag haphazardly into the car, I follow suit and slam the door. There's time here for me to scream, cry, and rage in semi-private, but I bite back the bubble in my throat, throwing my seatbelt on and turning on the car's engine. I wait no time to slam the car forward into first gear, pulling out of the lot with shaking hands. My hands slip with sweat as I try when I remember his McLaren's manual. Cursing, I force myself to revert back to the car I drove in high school as my hands dance across the car in perfected practice.

Thank god I still have that going for me.

The highway is empty, where I thought there'd be lines of traffic there are only a few sparse cars. I slam the car as hard as it can go, watching the ticking of the speedometer, 50... 60... 70... 80...

I look behind me, merging into the fast lane and gunning it even harder. The car sings, and I feel an odd rush of momentary euphoria.

I hit around 165kpm at some point. The car doesn't even shake, it seemingly glides along with my movements, I hear sirens, I don't know if they're for me but I'm not staying to find out. I press harder, merging to the off-ramp and taking it, barely registering what's around me as I slam on my brakes and slip into the traffic near the hospital.

It feels good to drive like that. Maybe I should get back into racing at some point.

Once the McLaren is parked in a back corner of the hospital lot, I grab my bag, rip myself out of the car, and slam it shut, and triple-check it's locked. I turn and book it into the hospital, trying to breathe steady enough to keep myself from losing my shit. It feels like I can't run fast enough, slipping into the hospital and around people who dodge my clearly rushed pace. I pause in front of a desk, panicked and out of breath when someone comes to my side.

"Hi, honey, who are you lookin' for?" A kind nurse says, her hand finding my arm to apply soothing pressure as she notices the fear in my movements. I thought I was hiding it better than I was, I guess. I take a slow breath and let the shake in my hands come in, no longer holding everything back.

"Lando Norris, he just came in with Formula One?" I ask and the woman nods. She asks to see my ID and I fish out my license and Red Bull card to verify my employment.

"Olivia!" A voice shouts as my items are handed back when I'm cleared, and Jon comes up to my side, pointing at my head.

"You still have your headset on." He says softly and I look him up and down, pointing at him.

"So do you," I say. We pause and fall into soft laughter as I pull the headset down to my neck. Jon takes me by the elbow further into the hospital, out of the view of some of the reporters who try to snap photos of us as they're shoved out by the security. I hadn't even seen them when I made my way inside. Through the winding halls, and down to a smaller section of the hospital, Jon brings me to the door to what I assume is Lando's room.

"He's fine." Jon starts with, which eases me immediately, "He's a bit banged up, they think he might have broken or bruised one of his ribs. He's really out of it, the painkillers made him super loopy. Just a forewarning, he's also been dipping in and out of consciousness so don't be alarmed. It's just the painkillers."

"Is his family here yet?" I ask, looking at the door, and Jon shakes his head no once I look back at him.

"They're driving at normal speeds, so no. I don't wanna know how you got here so fast." He steps forward and knocks. A nurse pops open the door and welcomes us inside, Jon stays back while I make my way to the bedside. Lando's wearing a tee shirt and some loose sports shorts, he looks exhausted. I can see bruising on his legs as I nurse tosses the blanket over him as if trying to hide it from me.

"Here!" She pulls up a chair happily and I thank her as I sit down on it, taking my bag off and setting it on the floor, dropping my headphones in. I sigh, taking Lando's hand and feeling his pulse as if the machine that literally tells me that is lying. It feels good to feel his heart thrum under my skin and I kiss his wrist where the pulsepoint is.

"My girlfrien's not g'nna like you doin' that." Lando tries to take his hand from me, Jon snorting in the doorway. I let go of him and laughed softly, leaning up to brush his hair back from his face, the longer curls sticking to his forehead. He's still got the lines from his helmet and balaclava, and I trace one with my finger as he gives me the nastiest stink eye I've ever seen him muster.

"Hi, Lando." I croon, and he whines, slowly rolling his head to the side.

"I have a girlfriend." He states, poking my hand to push it away from him and I send him an odd look. Jon walks over and I can see he's recording, which makes a small amused smile poke at my lips.

"Lando," I laugh softly and Lando whacks my hands away softly, fighting through the weariness of his pain medication to wave his arms.

"I have a girlfriend." He pouts, laying his hands still at his side. I just laugh again, and Lando shouts in his dreary state, "It's not funny! I do!"

"Shush, shh, Lando." I stand and push my chair back a bit as I stifle my laugh into the back of my hand.

Jon calls from where he stands, attempting to help me not laugh by giving me something new to focus on, "Who's your girlfriend, Lando?"

"Olivia. Oscar's sister, which he was actually not happy about at first but I convinced him I was cool--" Lando keeps rambling on until I lift my hand and cup his cheek, running my thumb under his eye as I speak softly.

"Lando, baby, I am your girlfriend." I put a hand on my chest, "I am Olivia."

Lando blinks, eyes settling on me before he gasps and leans up to grab my face and pull me down for a litter of soft pecks to my cheeks and face. I catch myself on the bed and laugh, catching his lips as he happily grins up at me. It's all doe eyes, lovesick smiles on his lips as he keeps his hands tight on my face.

"Hi, baby." He whispers, bringing me in for another kiss and I detach one of his hands so it can rest by his side. I slowly situate him against the blankets with the help of Jon, and sit a bit closer to the head of the bed so Lando can be close enough to me. He keeps one of his hands in mine and I slowly run my thumb along his knuckles.

"Well, Mr. Norris!" A piercing voice calls, a young woman stepping into the room with a bit of an excited flourish, "You are all set! Jon's gonna look over your scans, specifically for those bruised ribs. We're thinking it'll be about three or four weeks of healing, and he's gonna make that like--workout plan and stuff with your personal doctor."

"Ah, thank you, Doctor." Lando smiles, watching as the doctor hands Jon some papers to look over. She smiles at me, a hint of recognition in her eyes.

"Olivia, right?" She asks and I nod, shaking her outstretched hand.

"I'm glad you made it here, Lando was waiting for you a bit impatiently." She kept her happy smile, rocking from foot to foot, "Kept asking us where you were, or when you'd get here. You've got a good man on your hands here, sweetheart."

"I know." My heart is bursting, "He's shown me that over and over."

--

11 JULY, ENGLAND. ↴

oliviapiastri and landonorris have posted new stories!

mclaren has made a new post!

liked by oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo, and 876k others..

Thank you once again to @ oliviapiastri for taking care of our #4 and providing the team with love and some pics while he was recovering! Lando is at home now, and our official statement on the accident and other situations this season has been posted on our website.

View the story: McLaren.uk/formula1/landoolivia...

user has turned off comments for this post!

mclaren.uk...

OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON SITUATIONS BETWEEN LANDO NORRIS AND OLIVIA PIASTRI THIS SEASON.

WRITTEN BY STEVE ATKINS (M), ON BEHALF OF ZAK BROWN (M), ANDREA STELLA (M), ALICE MCLOUGHLIN (ORBR), ASTRID MARINA (UNAFF.), ADA LUANNE (UNAFF.), CHRISTIAN HORNER (OBRB), AND HIMSELF.

On the 22nd of February this year, Lando Norris (MCLAREN F1 TEAM, DRIVER) and Olivia Piastri (ORACLE RED BULL, HEAD OF ANALYSIS) were pulled into the office of Christian Horner (ORACLE RED BULL, TEAM PRINCIPAL) in Bahrain. A deal was struck between both parties and their corresponding teams to create a fake dating scenario, capitalizing on the tensions between Oracle Red Bull Racing and the McLaren F1 Team to push ticket and merchandising sales. This fake relationship was planned to eventually leak in PR and Social Media Strategy, however, due to Norris' crash in Silverstone, the entire program has been canceled. The program was also discovered by F1 Stewards upon investigation after Olivia's reaction to the accident cemented rumors in the media of the two dating. Both the McLaren F1 Team and Oracle Red Bull are under investigation, and fines are yet to be announced.

Norris and Piastri chose not to be a part of this statement and can be expected to make their own statements in the coming weeks.

On July 9th of this year, Lando Norris was involved in an accident in the pitlane of Silverstone. Engineers have determined this was caused by an overheating of brake lines that didn't allow Norris to stop his vehicle along with worn tires. No fines have been placed at this moment.

Olivia Piastri will return to work with Red Bull remotely immediately and will be in-person by Zandvoort. Lando Norris will return to racing with McLaren by Zandvoort and will be replaced by reserve driver Bianca Bustamente for the time being. Neither Norris nor Piastri will be fined for involvement with the media stunt, or with the accident as of this moment.

20 JULY, LONDON ↴

There’s a sort of haze around me as I blink sleep from my eyes. A warm pressure on my left makes me look to the side. Lando’s face is squished against my chest, soft snores leaving his slightly parted lips and rolling across my bare skin that pokes out from under my tank top. I take a moment to take it all in, how we’d gotten here, how we were, and I can’t help but roll to pull him closer to me and curl him inside my arms as I pepper a few kisses to his hairline.

How did I ever not like him? He's a fucking saint.

Lando, a heavy sleeper until I started sleeping in the same bed, noticed immediately and grabbed my waist with groggy whines about how tired he was. I coax him back to sleep, kissing his hairline and gently massaging his back until the snores return and I smile at Lando’s sleeping face.

“Awake yet?” Oscar calls from the door, and I wave. He laughs under his breath, waving me over, and it takes a bit of grace to detach myself from Lando. Once I do, I grab one of the spare throw blankets off the floor from where Lando had kicked it and slip over to where Oscar is standing by the door as I wrap it around me to keep out the morning chill.

“He’s exhausted. I think all the stress of the season is catching up on him.” I rub sleep from my face, and Oscar nods, handing me a piece of toast like a peace offering. I take it and tilt my head at him.

“They’re fining McLaren and Red Bull a lot for this stunt. It just came out.” Oscar hums, “said it’s a breach of contract and a risk for documents to be shared amongst the teams…”

My heart jumps to my throat, and I look at Lando’s sleeping form as he rolls into where my fading body heat is still in the blankets, “they want us to split?”

“Well. Lando’s contract ends with McLaren this year.” Oscar paused to take a sip of his coffee before leaning in to whisper, “and you didn’t hear it from me, but Christian has been looking at grabbing him for a few years now.”

“Is Checo moving?” I ask because I know Max wouldn’t leave Red Bull unless we forced him out by dragging him by his ankles.

“I dunno.” Oscar grins, stepping back and whacking my shoulder, “but you can date within your garage, so.”

With that, he walks away and I turn back to Lando as he starts to stir. I lean on the doorframe and watch as he blearily blinks his eyes open, hands searching for me in the covers until he lifts his head to see me off in the doorway.

“C’mere.” he croaks, and I smile, pushing off the doorframe and walking over to sit on the edge of the bed as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my thighs.

I can’t imagine him in navy. But it might look good on him.

25TH JULY, LONDON ↴

“is Max positive?” Lando pokes his head into the kitchen doorway, looking at the island where I’m staring at my laptop. I look up and shrug, sending an email back to Christian about the fines and the media being on his ass for the whole stunt.

“Kylie said it’ll be here in five minutes,” I reply, refreshing my email as if that will make the minutes suddenly not matter and for the email to pop up. Apparently, Max had gotten sick right before the next race. While I was home with Lando to make sure he wasn’t being strenuous and to keep media off my back until everything died down, they had to do a COVID test on Max and isolate him just in case.

“It would suck if he's out for his home race this year." Lando wanders into the kitchen and pulls up a stool next to me as he sets his phone down on the counter. He’s been living in Oscar and my apartment for the past few days, just until next week when he goes back to McLaren's training center for a bit to do a lot of physical therapy before getting in the car next weekend for Zandvoort.

Oscar calls my phone, and I stand up, telling Lando to keep checking my email as I make my way over to the other side of the kitchen to grab my phone.

“Yes, bitch?” I say into the phone and Oscar laughs at my sharp tone.

“Just checking in on Lando for Zak,” Oscar says and I look behind me and my boyfriend—like, actual boyfriend now, and smile.

“He’s been fine, ribs are still a little sore. I had him doing cardio earlier and he was faring pretty well so I—I think Jon said he can go back to training a bit earlier. He’s still coming back in Zandvoort though.” I hum, “how’s Bia faring?”

“She’s having the time of her life. I gotta start bringing her around more. You guys really would be an unstoppable duo.” Oscar laughs, “But good, Jon is off today so I’ll let Zak know to reach out to him and ask.”

“Ollie!” Lando whines and I turn.

“Yess?” I draw out as I walk to his side.

“It's negative.”

“Oh, thank fucking god.” I breathe, “That makes everything a lot easier for me.”

Oscar is quiet on the line for a few moments before asking in a small voice, “What’s negative?”

“Max’s COVID test. He’s just got the flu.” I say without thinking much of my brother's hesitance before he lets out a soft laugh.

“I thought you took a pregnancy test or something, I was about to start judging the type of cardio you’ve been doing,” Oscar says and I shout,

“Dude!”

“I feel like that’s a reasonable thing to be worried about!”

“Oh my god, we’ve only been actually dating dating for like two weeks!” I groan and Lando sends me a confused look, so I pop Oscar onto speakerphone.

“It only takes like—five minutes to make a kid!”

“Hello?!” Lando shouts and I sink to the floor in a fit of laughter, trying to bite back the volume of my laughter before Lando shouts, "Do you think I fucked your sister?!"

"No! Stop! Stop talking Lando!" Oscar shouts over the phone and now I'm hysterical on the floor in tears as Lando tries to backtrack and Oscar keeps shouting for him to just-- "Shut the fuck up, Lando!"

"Both are you are going to kill me, I'm losing it." I wheeze from where I'm now lying on the floor, Lando laughing alongside me as Oscar groans.

"First the house, now this?" He says and Lando makes some noise in the back of his throat as I manage to calm myself down enough to stand.

"What about a house?" I wipe under my eyes, leaning my head on Lando's shoulder as his arm wraps around my shoulder and he kisses my head, his fingers poking at my side and making me squirm as I push him away with a laugh.

"Nothing, love." Lando sighs, "Remember when they gave me those painkillers that made me super loopy the first night, and Oscar was watching over me?"

I nod, remembering how halfway through my grocery trip he had to call me because Lando was so loopy he thought that I was gone forever. And he had literally cried tears of joy when I answered Oscar's phone call.

"Well, I kinda... oh my god this is so embarrassing." Lando sighs and Oscar tells him he now has to tell the story and Lando hides his face in my hair as he recounts, "I was looking at apartments in London for us."

"Stop, oh my god." I whine, turning to Lando so I can kiss his cheeks and his forehead, pulling him down when he tries to move back so I can't, "That's so cute."

"No, it's embarrassing." He grumbles and I laugh, pulling him closer and kissing along his jaw and then the apples of his cheeks and the tip of his nose.

"I wouldn't mind that," I murmur to him and his eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, his hands find my waist and he presses a kiss to my lips.

"Ew, I don't like that I can hear him kiss you over the phone." Oscar groans, "I'm hanging up now, don't do anything too strenuous."

"Fuck you, Oscar!" I laugh as the call hangs up, Lando keeping his arms firmly around my waist. We sit in silence for a few moments before his hand ghosts up the side of my neck to take my jaw in his palm, thumb hooking on my chin to pull me down to look at him.

"Would you seriously not mind?" He asks softly and I grin, leaning over to pop a quick kiss on his lips.

"Getting to have you with me every day?" I bring our foreheads together, his curls against my own as his hands find my waist to hold, my hands resting on his shoulders as I grin and flutter my eyes closed, "That's paradise."

"I'll literally buy one right now, don't even test me." He groans, pulling me closer and I laugh.

"Let's get Zandvoort out of the way first, yeah?"

JULY 28TH, TWITTER ↴

AUGUST 27TH, THE NETHERLANDS ↴

Luckily for me, I made it into the paddocks long before any media people. Max welcomes me with a slap on the back as I welcome him to his home race, and then I'm greeted by the Ferrari drivers once again as Checo laughs at my bewildered expression.

"I'm gonna tell the Tifosi on you both." I huff, but let both Charles and Carlos wrap me in tight hugs of congratulations as we laugh. Once the two are carted off to go do their actual jobs, I get settled in my chair and glance down at my desk before laughing.

A vase of freshly cut flowers and a little cup of coffee sits there, waiting for me, and I turn to look at Max who just grins.

"He's determined." Is all Max says before slipping away as he's called over to get dressed. I laugh and send Lando a quick thank you message, before taking a sip of the perfectly made coffee and settling down to finally get back into gear.

"Welcome back," A voice chimes and I glance up to see Christian in the doorway. I offer him a small smile and a nod.

"Good to be here." Is all I say in reply.

-

Lando and Max seriously just want to kill each other in these cars. Max takes the win at his home race by some insignificantly small number, they had to literally watch multiple playbacks to see who crossed first, which means Lando is still in good running for World Champion. Luckily, somehow a mix of car issues and the pure energy from Oscar, Charles, Checo, and Carlos managed to keep Max in P2 for most races, leveling out the chances for Lando to recover his lost points.

As soon as most drivers have returned to their paddocks, I'm mid-packing up when I'm ushered off by Logan, who finished P6. He quite literally hoists me off my feet and carries me into the crowd for the podium. A few other drivers lag back, and I look over to Oscar, who'd finished P4 behind Charles.

"Where's Lando?!" Logan shouts over my head at Oscar, who points, and then leans over to me.

"Here's that kiss they promised you'd have to do," He shouts in my ear and I laugh as the two lift me so I can be partially over the barrier holding back the audience from the racers. I wave Lando down and he laughs, slipping away from a reporter as he finishes an interview. Biting off his glove as he walks over, he drops it into his helmet and then grabs my jaw with that now gloveless hand, pulling me into his lips for a quick peck. I don't let him leave though, grabbing his jaw and pulling him back in for a few more deeper kisses.

Oscar cheers and Logan laughs before Lando secures one arm around me to pull me over the barrier. Logan and Oscar immediately hop over after me.

There's warmth in my chest as Lando keeps his hand on my lower back, pulling me through the crowd of drivers and up to where Max and Charles stand. A giddy excitement thrums across my skin.

I could do this forever.

--

SEPTEMBER 3RD, INSTAGRAM ↴

oliviapiastri made a new post!

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, charlesleclerc, and 876k others...

oliviapiastri: 6 months <3

charlesleclerc: damn y'all move fast

oscarpiastri: DUDE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE ARENT LIVING TOGETHER IN OUR WHOLE LIVES. CHEERS!

maxverstappen: cheers!! looks lovely

user1: THEY LIVE TOGETHER?

alexalbon: DUDE ITS BEEN SIX MONTHS??

⤷ landonorris: I KNOW??

landonorris: omg i can post this publically now

landonorris: i LOVE YOU OLIVIA<333

user2: lando going bat shit in these comments is so real

landonorris: I LOVE U SM DARLING

⤷ oscarpiastri: i liked it better before the FIA made them announce it. i wanna go back in time to before that happened.

⤷ oliviapiastri: get me a tardis then

⤷ bbcdoctorwho: we can make that work ...

⤷ oliviapiastri: HELLO?

user4: dying dead gone deceased i love them

landonorris posted a new story!

[soraviie]

coming home tired.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader   ━ navigation

━ about: fluff! (maybe some angst you all know how it is)

━  pictures taken from Pinterest

━ lmao I don't like this. Anyway, Ice Age 1 and 2 absolutely peak entertainment

NAMJOON | The second the slippers are on your feet, you trudge to the bed and toss yourself face first into the mattress. With a bit of luck, you could suffocate yourself like this. A low whistle rises from up behind you and squinting with one eye open, you spot a sympathetic looking Namjoon standing in the doorway.

“That bad, huh?” he drawls and you groan at the mere mention of it.

“Don’t even remind me,” you plop your face back into a pillow where your voice can only barely be heard as a muffled whisper. “I’m seriously thinking of quitting.”

“You say that all the time,” he rolls his eyes to which you take some offence. With narrowed stare, you glare back at him, cringing at how palpable the sweat on your back is. 

“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend-”

“Supposed to be,” Namjoon scoffs just as if not more offended. “I am your boyfriend.”

“And boyfriends are supposed to be comforting when their partners are feeling down,” you scorned. “Not be snide. I swear you treat me as bad as Monie. We should both leave.”

“I treat you both well!” the volume of Namjoon's voice suddenly rises and you cannot help but wince as it hits against the pounding baseline of an oncoming migraine. Immediately, he forces his voice to a much quieter tone, a sound no more than a vague whisper whilst an indisputable shade of concern appearing in his eyes. 

“Is it that bad? Do you need to go on a sick leave?”

“No, no,” you wave him off, crawling off the bed with no meagre amount of difficulty. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time when “after a bit” has grown to be you drooling in deep sleep on the pillow, still fully dressed only to then wake up at 2 am incredibly hungry. “I’m just a bit tired, that's all.”

“You be careful, alright?”

Namjoon’s face still has a sort of worried film to it as though he’s caught between two possible options of how to make everything better and knowing him, he probably was.

“Do you want me to read to you?” 

“You hate it.”

“But I like you so…”

You try not to, however, a small smile still stubbornly worms its place onto your lips and it’s soon echoed on Namjoon's own expression. He outstretches his hand and it isn't long before you grasp it.

“Come on,” he throws his head towards that god awful hellscape of a seat that you detest so much but had no heart to tell as Namjoon had grown fond of it. “Let’s get your mind off things.”

Though there is a wolf-like whistle as you change out of the work clothes for which he gets a shirt thrown into his face, largely the evening is spent in civil spirits.

“How about we eat before?”

Instantly, your blood curdles and from where you’re perched on the end of the grey sofa, you throw Namjoon a deeply, deeply anxious glance. He doesn’t miss it and after once again rolling his eyes because damned if Kim Namjoon wasn’t a passive aggressive bastard, he wraps a precarious hand over your shoulders and grumbles —

“I didn’t cook anything myself. Don’t worry.”

“Thank god,” you sigh and get pinched in the side. 

Some would say it’s simple, almost boring but time with Namjoon, wanted or not, fair or unfair, was limited. Moments like these — with your back pressed against his side as you curl up onto the sofa, a leftover pizza laying in front was a luxury. He was rarely if ever at home and it seems that even he gathers as much as his lips seek out his beloved spot on the side of your temple and press a feathery kiss. Simple — yes but precious all the same and you couldn’t thank him enough for just being here. 

“Now where were we…” you mutter to yourself, haphazardly sorting through the pile of books laid like a fallout rubble on every surface nearby. Taking advantage of the bared skin of your back, the tips of his fingers softly graze along your spine, mutely inviting you to return into his hold.

"Why do you check out so many books if you never read them?" he grumbles.

"Why would I read them if I can have you do that for me?"

"Tyrant."

"I know you are but what am I?"

The sheer volume of his exasperated sigh is almost enough to wipe your tired state clean off.

"Behave," Namjoon warns lowly, letting his head fall back on the headrest. "Otherwise, I'll just put you to bed."

You give him an angelic smile but comply, offering the book of choice only to frown when he is too eager to grasp it. There's even a twinkle to his eye.

“A cliche of story,” you grouse underneath your breath, mocking the same words Namjoon had said after forcefully reading or as he insisted “surviving” the first chapter. “My ass.”

Nonetheless, save for a few laughs, there is not much that you talk about. There’s no need to share a conversation, just the feeling of his warm skin is enough to sate the void his absence left behind.  And with it, the stress slowly abates, unclenching its grip from you, sentence by sentence as Namjoon's voice cruises through the evening.

YOONGI | You don’t quite know how your jaw has not yet unhinged off your face, stretched to its absolute limits by the snake-like yawns but you’re thankful for it anyhow. Another one breaks out the second you’re over the threshold and that is what greets Yoongi instead of a smile or a single, coherent greeting. 

“You’re home early,” you point out, withering out quickly. So much so for reading a book or watching a movie, or tackling any amount of apparently never-ending chores.

“Yeah,” he shrugs off, seemingly unconcerned but those slanted, all too observant eyes track the slope of your tired back — the way you collapse into yourself, unable to fully stand neither still nor straight — and with it his lips purse into a thin, displeased line. 

“I’m fine Yoon, don’t worry about it,” you call out with a shake of the hand. You don’t think he buys it. 

“I’m sure,” he replies simply, tone aggravatingly pleasant, not a hitch, not a crumble for you to catch onto his motives. “Let’s get you into something cozier.”

Peeling off the layers of those impersonal, pretentious clothes makes you cringe. The sweat that had been subtly building under the material is sticky and for a second you almost wish Yoongi would be at the studio like usual. Not much of a looker — sweaty and as appealing as worm splattered underneath the car’s wheel. 

“Cute,” you hear a mutter behind you and turning around, you find Yoongi standing before you, chin in hands, almost appraising you the way an art critic would a rare painting. 

“I’m not cute right now,” you grouse. Yoongi was never one to sugar coat things, so why begin now?

“You’ll always be cute.”

There is an audible offence in his tone and something in it makes you wanna tease him and almost begrudgingly you have to admit that yet again his master plans proved to be fruitful — the accumulated tension was slowly dissolving in the air around you. 

“Even if I’m 90 and all my teeth are gone?”

“Well then I’ll be just as old and we can expire together.”

You shake your head with a barely suppressed smile and suddenly the home feels that much warmer. Not just four walls with a buzzing fridge, droning of the vapid TV and somewhat unsettling emptiness but an actual home. 

“Always the romantic Yoon.”

“I drew you a bath,” he throws his head towards the closed bathroom doors. “Get in.” 

There’s not a space left in that statement for you to argue and thinking about it, you didn’t want to. The water is in perfect temperature, betraying the amount of time you’ve been together and seeing the purple foam sitting atop of the scented waterline as candles laid around hobbled on the nearby surfaces,  tears rush to your eyes. 

Sometimes it was good to cry, be it out of joy, sadness or just as a way to release things and while for some it might seem bizarre to hear your cries in the bath, even somewhat disconcerting but Yoongi knew better and he knew when to simply give you space. 

By the time you get out of the bath, pruned almost to the bone, your head feels hazy — emptier but soft at the edges. The second you see Yoongi setting up the table, you nuzzle into him, practically melting against his frame. For a second he freezes, out of the corner of the eye you glimpse how his features widen in a shock-stricken expression but once the moment inevitably passes, he plays it cool, pretending that there isn’t a pink blush nestling prettily on top of his cheekbones. 

“My, my, you really are tired,” he calls out, gingerly prying your hands away, largely to sit you in the nearby chair. Yet another sign of the sheer exposure you've had with each other over the years — when you clung, you clung, more than once lazing atop of Yoongi as though he was your own personal body pillow. He put up with it like he did with most of you — possessing endless kindness and patience. 

"Some soup, nothing fancy," he explains, sliding a spoon your way. "It'll fill you up but won't give indigestion."

"Thank you. You're the best."

He doesn't respond to the compliment with anything credible, just something whined softly through a pout. The dinner passes by in a blur as you try to listen to Yoongi's day. The guilt gnaws with sharpened teeth - at your own inability to focus on what he's saying -but the haze spindles its spidery web too tight around your body and quickly enough, you sink into the mattresses absolutely boneless. 

"This just needs one thing," you hear Yoongi muttering overhead and after a beat during which you might as well have fallen into some form of micro sleep, he returns back, paddling quietly across the plush carpet carrying none other than an extremely sleepy and confused Min Holly. The poodle sniffs slightly, veering as he suddenly finds himself put on the bed but then simply decides to snuggle up the pillow next to you — an arrangement that often resulted in Yoongi putting up a fuss over being exiled from his own bed. Though tonight there is no tantrum and quietly you dream of soft hands caressing your head before inviting dark embraces you whole.

JIN | "So you don't want to come out?" 

The blanket shakes in a definitive no, pulling from him a deep, deep sigh. "Alright but just text if you need me."

For a second, more so out of instinct than anything, he thinks of leaning down, brushing away this ridiculous blanket you've cocooned yourself in and planting a kiss on your forehead - like he always does- but something in the way you're so obstinately clinging to it stops him and instead he lays his lips atop of it, allowing you to hide away from the world. When the ends of your ears perk at the sound of the closing doors, you slowly push the blanket onto the floor, gulping down large breaths of fresh air. 

Jin was nice, you liked Jin, obviously as you lived together, but sometimes…sometimes a person just needed to be on their own. The way you move throughout the house is largely mindless. Something is playing in the background, what - you don't know. You don't put much focus on what passes between your hands - the vacuum, the window cleaner — it's just a motion. A motion required so that the tension doesn't flay you whole. It's not like you particularly want to do so — the lower back pain surely is a sign you don't want to but it is needed. The nagging thoughts of something being not done in the house will just nag you on and coupled with the stress from work, you didn't put it past your body to become the first person on the planet whose head popped from their shoulders and become airborne. 

It is when you're in the middle of battling one very annoying corner of the front entrance when Jin comes home. All too soon you hear the code pressed on the outside and you greet him as such, standing and staring like a deer in headlights with vacuum in one hand and a wet wipe in another. For a passing moment, Jin simply takes you in, a wrinkle of thorough confusion marking his face. Then as if to come to a foregone conclusion, he sighs, places the many, many takeaway boxes that tower dangerously all together in a green plastic bag on the console nearby and struts forward. You almost go in to defend yourself be it verbally or with a vacuum cleaner but he simply disregards it and places a palm right over your forehead. 

“As I thought,” he mumbles solemnly. “You’re running a fever.”

Immediately you check yourself, in the hurry almost letting the vacuum hit the ground had Jin not caught it at the last second.

“No, I’m not,” you protest but deep down you've grasped that your hand is sweaty and that your head feels…heated, somehow. “I don’t want to take a sick leave!”

Jin was often an easy-going man, never a joke missing when he was around, never a moment weighing too heavily but he was still an adult and sometimes…sometimes he put his foot down. 

“But you are,” he insists with a deadpan tone. Both of your hands are forcibly freed from the items in them as you’re spun around and pushed towards the bed, your socks providing no grip to fight the movement. “Better one sick day today than a whole month later. Remember November?”

“I remember November,” you huff begrudgingly. “But it’s not that bad.”

“_________,” the sound of your name falling from his mouth with not a lick of usual laughter or any form of fond exasperation rings like a cannon shot through your ears, making you shrink smaller. “You’re tired. Just rest. Everything else will fall into place.”

You grow limp under his touch and let yourself be carded back into bed, no huff, no puff. Vaguely it’s reminiscent of Jin’s own temper tantrums as he battled a cold two months ago. You’d chided him then for acting like a spoiled child with a silver spoon both in his mouth and up his ass and you know now that it was merely an act of the infamous pot calling the egregious kettle black. There is a twinkle of vindication in Jin’s eyes even if he does not say it out loud. The session of being made fun of was simply postponed due to the pitifulness of your state alas not entirely avoided.

“Now, let your boyfriend take care of you,” bright is Jin’s smile as he beams down upon you from one ear to the next but the pat on your head dours the cheesy sentiment if he even had any to begin with.

“I’m not a dog,” you gruff, wrenching his hand away but as Jin saunters away, dignified as ever, “could have fooled me” is tossed casually over his shoulder. 

HOSEOK | “You don’t have any plans later in the evening?” 

Because it was 6:30 of a quiet Monday morning and you had assumed that Hoseok hadn’t come home at all, given how you’d gone to sleep alone and woke up as such, the question poised from a poked-in head, partially hidden by a steam of running shower, it came as a no surprise you were scared shitless. Nursing the elbow that was so rudely slammed against the tiled wall, you replied that no, you did not have any plans. 

“Great! Love you!” 

The only thing you heard after were quick, running footsteps and then — silence. 

“Love you too,” you muttered to the empty air. “Whatever that was.”

But Hoseok did sometimes do odd things and so as the work day reared its vicious Hydra head you forgot all about it, too submerged in the rising pile of problems. 

By the time you shuffle out of the work doors, there is a deadpan expression upon your face and even more upon your soul. You’re tired and the outlook of coming  back — yet again! — tomorrow makes it all the more draining. As you drudge your way down the main street there is only one dream floating almost palpable before your eyes and that is your bed. The very thought of immediately propelling yourself underneath the fluffy duvet and dozing off to a good music is a piece of private heaven you’re salivating after and all that was needed was to go home.

If only it would be that easy. 

A sleek, black car rolls in front of you, so crudely that only by the last pinch of your nerves you do not curse the driver out then and there. It’s a blessing you do not as the window rolls down and you find none other than your boyfriend sitting joyfully on the other side. 

“Are you abducting me, good sir?” you call out and Hoseok opens the doors from the inside, invitingly patting the seat next to him.

“Yes, now get in. This is not legal parking.”

At first, you hum happily along to the song playing on the radio. Sure, Hoseok makes a weird turn — it definitely does not belong to the usual route but maybe that was him trying to evade the congested traffic. A second one? Your hum falters but still you persist. You were still going in the correct general direction and if anything you should be grateful about being rescued from the overcrowded hell that is public transport in a rush hour. But once the third turn is taken and you no longer recognize the area, the soft happiness blossoming in your body freezes and for a fact refuses to thaw. 

“Uhh…Hoseok?”

“Hmm?”

“Where are we going?”

“To the mall.”

If feasible, your brain would make a sound similar to a record being pulled under the needle of the player. And then smashed against the fucking wall. 

“The mall?” you echo slowly, however Hoseok remains blissfully oblivious and smiles as your dream of bed and rotting rest shatters into unmendable pieces. 

“Yeah! You’ve been working so hard! You definitely need some new gifts. Name whatever you want, I’ll get!”

Get me home, is what flashes through your mind but even thinking about it feels ungrateful of sorts. Thus,  you bite your teeth into a pained smile.

“Yay,” though you try to sound enthusiastic it comes out more like a squeaking cry of a dying animal. 

Having three bodyguards flickering in and out of your periphery as blinding mall lights blare overhead was not your idea of fun in the best of days but even less so after the dogshit that was work on this particular Monday. 

Suddenly Hoseok shoves a string of pearls underneath your noise, with an overeager “try this!”. You oblige but something in the look does not please him and quickly the pearls are swapped for another, a tad more delicate piece.  

The longer you trail after him, the more your eyes droop downward. It becomes too difficult to even properly focus on walking let alone on what Hoseok is saying. Covertly, you try to slump against him while on the escalator and once more Hoseok misinterprets this as an expression of affection, cooing at it. 

You do not have the heart to tell him you were seconds away from crawling into the bathroom and sleeping there.  

“Which shoes do you like better? These ones or these ones?” 

Strategically, you position yourself on the plush albeit hard chair of the shoe shop.

“They’re both good,” you mutter and the next time you open your eyes, a muted darkness stands before you. For a second, your heart leaps, dry spit curls up at the back of your throat but as the second passes, so does the fear. The dark slowly abates and the familiar feeling and smell of your comforter drags you back into the peace.

You’re home. 

There is a vague clattering coming from the closed bedroom doors and as you drop back onto the pillows with a sigh of deep relief, it stops only for someone to move closer. 

As Hoseok opens the doors, he stands in them for a while wearing a gentle but knowing smile. 

“If you didn’t want to go, you could have just said so.”

You screw your eyes shut, feeling the end of a headache coming back up from behind the eye sockets.

“Did you drag me back?” you groan, sinking deeper into the mattress as though it could possibly save you in any way.

“With some help,” Hoseok nods, throwing a towel to rest over his shoulder. “You were out of it.”

“I’m  sorry,” you glance at him from the covers, turning your voice much more earnest. The feelings of ungratefulness cling to your chest, creating a heavy, pressing sensation. How much time really did you have with Hoseok? Hours,  minutes? Versus the days that he was entrenched deep into work or worse on tour. You ought to spend every moment with him, radiating nothing but happiness but it was just…

You were just too tired. 

“I really am.”

“Don’t stress about it. But really just tell me next time that you don’t want to go and would rather sleep instead. Trust me, I would understand.”

You nod along to his words, giving a mute promise though it's one he accepts. 

“Besides there’s always online shopping,” he supplies lightly before his smile warps to cut a  bit too deep into cheek and too devious in its hue. “And I can always spoil you in other ways.”

JIMIN | The second your aching feet drag over the warm threshold, you don’t even let Jimin finish his greeting, instead propelling yourself tiredly into his chest, self-indulgently wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“What’s this?” he chuckles softly, placing one cheek upon the top of your head — you could feel the weight of his motion. It rests on you like a heavy blanket, relaxing yet not caging. “Since when are you so nice to me?”

“Oh, shut it,” you hiss meagerly, cheek still ruffling against the thin material of his grey t-shirt.  “I’ve always been nice to you.”

“Debatable,” he laughs but it quickly sizzles into a low hum. “Long day?” 

“Felt like it would never end.”

Dinner is eaten quickly, with you mostly scarfing down whatever is put down before you and Jimin occasionally throwing a worried glance though he chooses not to give these concerns a voice. You’re grateful for the silence — too exhausted in your own right to dwell on what should soon turn into a hazy, near non-existent memory. 

The sofa underneath your back is pliant enough and slinking onto the too small decorative pillows, the same ones Jimin had sworn would be perfect as you had stood in IKEA checkout line, you feel your eyes fall downward — not slow and steady, but definitive and pointed like a crash of a rock.

Jimin’s voice floats above the cotton-candy haze that circles the ends of your eyes and maybe vaguely you catch the tail of a sentence. 

“...movie?” is all you hear and deeply not caring, you nod along, still partially clinging to his arm. 

“Something you like…” Jimin mutters under his breath. “The Notebook is always great.”

“I literally have never liked that movie.”

He lets his mouth open in truly horrendous offence, placing a palm over his chest as though you’ve just stabbed him with a kitchen knife. 

“Blasphemy! And in my own home too!”

Imperiously, you make a grab at him, settling yourself to lay partially on his torso. 

“It’s our home, you menace.”

“Ah, and there they are! So I thought you being nice earlier was suspicious.”

But even as he’s saying it, there’s a lingering presence of suppressed smile etched across his lips. 

“Just play something,” you mutter, not even bothering to maintain the appearance of  wakefulness. 

“What about “cold eyes”?” he suggests, switching contemplatively between the select options, each one playing an annoying loud 

“That’s still your favourite movie. I like “The Lighthouse”.”

As expected an immediate wrinkle of distaste curls up his nose as he regards your suggestion. Apparently taking in a noir coloured fever dream seeped in oceanic nightmares had not been his favourite way to spend an evening and though he endured it once, more thanks to his apparently endless love for you than patience, you doubted the chances of him laying his eyes on the production ever again.

“A compromise,” he suggests, by now only barely able to move as you melt into him, your tired bones demanding a rest. How could even one’s inner thigh muscles hurt you did not know but such was the reality. 

“Ice age.”

“Deal.”

It’s not even five minutes into the movie that the warm colours flashing on the screen, not to mention the rub of Jimin’s fingers tenderly grazing against your scrap, lulls you into deep, exhausted sleep. Jimin doesn't wake you.

TAEHYUNG | Though the headphones squeeze on your ears in a manner that manages to somehow be both painful and itching, you pour all of your focus into the pot of soup boiling on the counter. The sensory hell that is extractor hood whirrs overhead and while you hate both the steam making everything just a touch too hot and the noise being a touch too grading, it does the trick. It completely overwhelms your mind and with it the piled up anxiety. The sudden light touch, light yes but unmistakably belonging to a human hand, forces some form of primal scream out from your throat and you’re met face to face with equally wide-eyed, equally frightened Kim Taehyung. Who is in your house. 

You almost ready the ladle as a weapon of sorts but the fleeting voice of reason reminds you, he is in your home because this is the home you share.

Because you’re dating, it goes to supply and you’re thankful that it does otherwise you would have just slammed your boyfriend into the kitchen ground with the aforementioned ladle. 

He attempts to speak or at least so you assume from the way his mouth moves.

“Just give me a sec!” you point at your earphones in the still lingering confusion momentarily forgetting to how to turn off the blasting music that just a second ago was mind numbing in a pleasant way but now has grown to be an auditory guillotine.

At last you manage the Bluetooth connected mess and pushing back the hair from your face, you huff, trying to sound light and miserably failing in one fell swoop.

“Why-why are you home so early?” 

Taehyung quirks his head to the side and those soulful, terribly wary eyes glide over your face in suspicion. 

“Was I not supposed to?” 

You almost don’t stammer when answering “no”. Taehyung hums but it doesn’t feel either like a response or the final sentence in the otherwise lackluster conversation. If anything it’s a wordless noise of suspicion and you begin to sweat under its weight. 

“You look like you haven’t slept a week,” he points out, not overtly trying to be accusing outright but similarly failing as well. At first your mind leaps and bounds to white lies, some smaller some bigger but as his gaze grows more expressive, more analytic you wither and simply confess like a child would after eating too much candy from a jar that was specifically left for guests.

“That’s because I haven’t.”

Taehyung nods, clearly having suspected as much. 

“And I assume the reason why you were unpleasantly surprised by my arrival is that like any other night, you wanted to make something quick, then sit yourself in front of three devices all playing different things and then letting yourself rot in an unmade bed?”

You twiddle with your thumbs. 

“Yes. Are you mad?” 

He looks mad, however because this was Taehyung the next second his face blooms with pity and you find yourself surrounded by two arms and what feels like a cashmere sweater. 

“Oh my baby.”

The beginnings of what feels like straying tears rush forward but still for now you force them down. Disconnecting, for the first time you look Taehyung properly over. What initially seemed like nothing but put-together pillars of stability when compared to your crumbling statue ebbs away and in the muted light of the kitchen you see. The downturned corners of his mouth, the eye bags obstinately clinging to his face, the hair that hangs over said eyes, clearly unkempt, obviously trying to hide something he deemed too personal to share with the rest of the world.

Other than you that is.

Once again it rips out of you without much consent or thorough planning of the brain:

“You’re tired.”

He laughs but the sound, alike the atmosphere, falls strained. 

“Yeah I am. Can’t sleep much without you.”

The soft ends of his voice, clipping into an exhausted drawl, makes your heart bleed both in pink and red. 

“I’ve been worried about you,” he adds with a deep sigh. “And it seems not entirely without reason.” 

“It’ll be alright,” you try to brush off but without knowing whom you tried to convince more — Taehyung or indeed yourself. He doesn’t much say of anything, merely gives one truly solemn nod and clutches your hand in his grip — ladle and all. 

JUNGKOOK | The second you feel the familiar walls of your home swallow you whole, the full effect of a thoroughly draining day kicks you in the chest. You feel its weight knead at your muscles, turning every strain of it into an over-taut strings of deepened ache. You breathe a weary, albeit content sigh as one sweaty article of clothing is shed after the next. It’s a quiet retaliation — to toss them into the hamper for laundry tomorrow. Thank god for your laundry fairy. 

You hear someone at the door and momentarily the ache disappears in the surge of sheer adrenaline but as the familiar sounds of dog’s nails scraping against the floor reach your ears, you relax once more. 

“Babe?” comes an inquiring voice just seconds before Bam rounds the corner, gleefully wagging his tail at your presence. 

“You’re wet,” you complain but since much like Jungkook, it was impossible to be mad at him, all the dog hears is the pleased sound of your voice so without any inhibitions whatsoever, he noses at your shin, leaking rainwater onto the beige bedroom carpet. Jungkook pokes one head in and you’re not surprised to see that he’s much in the same state.

“And you’re wet as well,” you point out, monotonous, as he shrugs in response. 

“Forgot to take my umbrella.”

You don’t chide him, having honestly no strength to do so. Instead, you plop down onto the bed, stifling  another monstrous yawn, not entirely missing the faint wrinkle of concern carving its way in the space between Jungkook’s eyebrows but choosing to not remark upon it. He was already too worried these last few weeks. Still Jungkook remains Jungkook and not a second after, from his spot in the doorway comes gentle but somewhat of a sternly voiced question. 

“Are you okay? You look…I’m sorry tired is not the word. Drained of your very soul.”

You offer him a mirthless laugh, running a palm over your face. 

“Is it that obvious?” you try to joke but the hint of frailty betrays you. Its note might be faint but for Jungkook with his musical pitch, its laid out bare on a desolate cliff. He doesn’t speak but there’s no need to. His face says it all. 

“It’s just I’ve never not…known things,” you admit, a sense of frustration immediately clutching at your chest. “I’ve always been quick to adapt. A month, two months tops and I’d be like a fish in water but…” the end of the sentence trails off into a frustrated sigh.   

“It’s not your fault they’re not training you properly,” he objects but even so remembers to be quiet. There was no use in shouting and that was the rule you both agreed upon. 

“I know it’s not my fault,” you mumble underneath your nose but even you yourself can hear the disheartened nature of that statement. For long dragging stretches of time, you simply stare at Bam, reaching out to pat him ever so slightly. 

“I’m just…tired, Koo,” at last you state, the final walls breaking down in one, finite statement. 

“I get it,” he echoes somberly, the shared faraway glint in both of your eyes reminding you both of the many, many tired late evening, early mornings and the middle of the nights. Jungkook rouses himself out the soured memory lane first. He shakes his head and paddles over, sitting on the bed beside you, the mattress dipping under his weight. 

“You want a shoulder massage?” he offers and as his touch settles upon your skin, you wince, prompting a hissing curse from his lips. 

“It’s like a rock, baby,” Jungkook whines in your ear. You try to shrug the sentence away however the flare of unexpected pain puts a firm stop to it. 

“And I don’t think you’ll make it better,” you sigh, trying, in a last ditch attempt, to sound a tad playful. You think it somewhat works as Jungkook pressed a preemptively apologetic kiss to the back of your head. 

tagging: @pinkcherrybombs; @sukunabitch; @btsiguess-kpop; @belladaises; @halesandy; @seok-jinnies; @themochiverse; @cuteipat; @ratherbefangirling; @manchuria; @dreamamubarak; @anti-social-mochi267; @back2bluesidex; @silverliningsandstorms; @ahewlett

[thebardisabird]

this is the first request ive ever made, but how would the boys react to a classic Bimbo reader? with classic blonde hair, pink clothes, expensive bags and nails, stuff like that😭 this may be a bit strange so dont answer if you dont wanna, i was just curious. thank you so much lmao 😭

We know her, we love her, she’s that girl!

So Osomatsu immediately goes gaga for you. I’m talking heart eyes, drooling, unable to think coherent thoughts kind of enamored. From your pretty long eyelashes, to your super short mini skirt to pink boot heels - he can’t seems to pick a spot where he wants to look! Every single inch of you sings sex appeal and he’s listening very intently. He knows he definitely cannot afford you tho - so he might pull off the same stunt he did for Chibimi and just about sell his soul to get a date with you. (Honestly when I think of all the characteristics you describe matched with Oso I think of @girlymatsu ‘s oc Erina-chan who is super cute and fun, please check them out, you can tell they put a lot of love in their art and you'll absolutely love their oc)

Karamatsu sees your fashion sense and instantly wants to be the Ken to your Barbie. You have this it girl factor that draws him in and with the sway of your hips and the wink of your pink, glittery shadowed eye, he’s completely under your spell. If you so choose to give him the time of day, he pays you compliment after compliment, and will take you out on a date to get coffee or a nice meal depending on what you’d like. If we’re talking about a classic bimbo trope where you’re a little on the less well-read side, then he might find it cute that you don’t really know how to pronounce some of the words of the meals or coffee drinks and he’ll try to use the opportunity to teach you some fancy words. You actually find his poses and flowery speech kinda funny, because he sounds like a poem out loud.

Choromatsu has no idea how you're even talking to him right now. He's seen you plenty of times and never ever imagined you would even say two words to him other than like... "Excuse me" if he was standing in your way. You are so far removed from all the things that encompass his life. Yet when you tell him that his favorite has super cute outfits and that you were thinking about becoming one yourself because you love the idea of all the glitz and glamour it brings, he short-circuits. You're already so gorgeous, to think of you being in cutesy outfits and dancing around? And he's allowed to talk to you? Associate with you??? The man is ready to die happy. But not as happy as when you dress up in his favorite idol's outfit - only it looks ten times better on you because your bigger chest and ass. While you don't exactly understand his love for anime, manga, and other more nerdy things, you humor him because he's just so cute when his little froggy face lights up the way it does!

Ichimatsu is intimidated entirely by you and will actively go out of his way to avoid you. You are like a beacon of light far too bright and undeserving for him to ever even get close to. Luckily for him, you notice one day that he's looking into the window of a cat cafe and you finally tap him on his shoulder and ask about whether he likes cats or not. It takes about everything he has not to throw up on the spot, but he is seriously questioning his life and whether or not some god above is about to smite him. You try to explain to him that you actually really love kitties as you point to your kitten paw choker and show him your baby pink matching kitten paw nails. At some point he realizes that you're not fucking with him and he slides out of fight or flight mode and into general nervousness. It takes a while before you can actually get him to speak (you're literally such a bombshell against his disheveled-ness, he feels very grateful that he's conscious enough to give you short answers instead of fainting like his body wants him to), but you eventually give him your number. When you part ways, then he slumps to the ground, but with the tiniest of smiles on his face.

Jyushimatsu actually makes you nervous. It's very clear that you're super attractive and bubbly, but there is a genuine sweetness to him that makes him stick out from all the other meatheads who try to normally get your attention. The yellow clad matsu isn't very subtle about staring at you and your appearance, but you honestly don't mind it when he says things like "Your hair reminds me of the sun!" or "You look like a pretty pink cloud today, haha!" The guy is just so adorable it makes you giggle. And when he smiles right back (even bigger than his usual grin), it makes you blush a bit. You end up leaving lipgloss on his cheeks all the time because you just find him so cute.

Todomatsu can't get enough of you once he gets to know you! You two feed off of each other's cutesy personalities. And since pink is both of your signature colors, you guys end up matching outfits a lot. Though the price to pay with you two being so matchy-matchy is that everyone else literally cannot stand being around you two lol. But that's fine to either of you because you both just chalk it up to them being rude and jealous and you pay it no mind...it's either that dynamic orrrrr you end up hating each others guts because only one of you can be the cutest in Akatsuka. Though that scenario ends up in an enemies to lovers situation because even though Todomatsu says he can't stand you - he definitely admits to himself (and only to himself at first) that you are positively gorgeous and the only person worthy of being at his level of pretty in pink.

[maryonaccross]

I want to dedicate this post to the top five most brain dead, brain cell killing lines TB characters have said in season one that  meant literally nothing coming from the characters that said them and have been interpreted as “wow slay they’re so smart” moments by their fans for reasons that are beyond me. The vast majority of them don’t even require an explanation.

First up we have:

“And yet you toil still in service to men” - Rhaenys Targaryen

(wow, we all lost a lot of respect for you there Rhaenys’. The second hand embarrassment was very uncomfortable)

Followed closely by:

“ And now they see you as you are” -Rhaenyra Targaryen

again, meant absolutely nothing

“ that whore of a queen killed my brother and stole his throne”- Daemon Targaryen

Daemon, sweetie, do you need a kitkat? Are you ok? What on earth are you even alluding to???? Is your vocabulary so limited that you cannot come up with a word other than whore to describe women you don’t like??

Next up we have:

“ it doesn’t matter what they want” -Rhaenyra Targaryen

Rhaenyra you feminist girlboss queen.

And:

“ You are the dragon, your word is law”- Daemon Targaryen

lmao, and you wonder why he couldn’t hold a single small council position? This is exactly where the intellectual gap between him and Otto becomes a very apparent.  I’m not an Otto fan but he is a person who seriously understands politics and achieved something in life while Daemon is a man child nepobaby that failed at every responsibility was assigned to him ( organizing a police brutality event and running amok on civilians being one example of that ) 

I’m serious, these two, Daemon and Rhaenyra, are the ones that are going to bring back the glory of old Valyria? 

(Adding to that, not really a sixth thing because it hasn’t been hyped by TB fans as much as the others but remember Jace also saying “ it doesn’t matter what they think” in regards to him and his brothers being bastards. People’s prince…? I’d rethink that )

I swear to God, anytime I see edits starting with any of these lines I burst out laughing. 

It’s honestly sad to think about how house of the dragon is a real show that cost a hell of a lot of money to make. The actors are fantastic and the costume designers, set designers etc. are doing a really good job but like… actual writers actually sat down and wrote that script and these lines. And they didn’t even have that much to do considering they had the book as source material so they didn’t come up with any of the major plot points. I might make a separate post about this but all they had to do was alter a few characters if they want to and give them believable motivations. And I cannot think of a single character in this show that has actual reasons to be doing what they are doing and whose plans and motivations stay consistent throughout the show (take Rhaenyra, Alicent, and the Velaryons for example)

[urbanflorals]

✧ Emma ✧ she/her ✧ minor ✧ books and food

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hii! Welcome to my blog:

Basic Info:

✧ Emma/Ems ✧ she/her ✧ Minor - birthday Jan 12 ✧ Capricorn ✧ INTJ ✧ Australian ✧ Ferrari girl <3 ✧ I will defend my babies warnette and Evajacks until i die. ✧ i am a firm believer in sarcasm. ✧ if you see me posting about writing its cause I have no motivation. I post about it, but don't necessarily do it ✧ I'm an introvert but will absolutely come out of my shell and become and extrovert when you get to know me

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Things I love

✧ Books -> [series] The inheritance games, acotar, shatter me, the folk of the air, the prison healer, caraval, ouabh, dance of theives, divine rivals (waiting for the next one to come out), the lunar chronicles, the red queen, when in rome series, the naturals, six of crows.

✧ Books -> [standalone] Better than the movies, if he had been with me, the do over (basically anything by lynn painter), the cheat sheet, powerless, the summer of broken rules and a lot more I cannot remember cause I panicked :)

✧ Music -> Taylor swift, Gracie abrams, Tate McRea, a little of Lana Del Rey, Chase Atlantic, Artic Monkeys, Guns and Roses, Little mix, Conan Gray. My music is allllll over the place lmao.

✧ Christmas <3333

✧ Rain <3

✧ Movies -> Now you see me 1 & 2, knives out 1 & 2, oceans 8, 11, 12, & 13, Mamma Mia, the adam project, enola holmes, red notice and basically and chick flick

✧ Tv shows -> B99, Friends, babysitter's club, alexa and katie, fuller house,

✧ art -> I paint, sketch, and draw, whenever I feel like it. I mostly draw. I want to learn how to use gouache and oils paints.

✧ other -> baking and cooking :)

✧ making moodboards -> here is my master list

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

More Info

✧ my dream life is to runaway to paris or new york and open up a bookstore/cafe/flower shop. (and to be the rich hot aunt the everyone loves)

✧ I will most likely put 'lmao', 'lol', <3, :) at the end or in every sentence I can - just cause I want to talk to you but I don't want to come on too strong lmao (see right there - perfect example)

✧ I want to travel when I'm older! [places] -> London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Sweden, Germany, New York, Bahamas, Japan, Korea, and a bunch more!

✧ I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest and Tumblr.

✧ I'm basically friendless if you exclude online friends. So if we're moots you're my best friend, no take backs

✧ Also I love getting new book, show, movie, music recs!

✧ My Wattpad -> My Pinterest

✧ If you want to know anymore just ask! Seriously, I have like zero friends in real life, so you can spam me anytime. I love talking to new people.

✧ special moots: [if you want to be added or removed just ask!] -> @blythexparker, @kitsohana, @myster3y, @stvrlighhttt, @skeelly, @my-mind-is-frozen, @atwtmvftvtvsgavralpsss, @bookscorpion73, @blocked-zombieartist, @urgirlnextdoorr, @nqds, @reminiscentreader, @crenna, @someones-name-inserted-here, @banilikesfictionalpeople, @yourinterruptingmyreading, @mqstermindswift, @seaveysoceaneyes <3

✧my 100 followers event

✧ this is a safe space for everyone!! ↳ Dni - if you're a racist, homophobe, sexist, pedos, ect..

lots of love

Emma <3

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ps: this was also inspired by @stvrlighhttt, hehe ik you said u didn't want credit but i think u deserve it mwah <3

[rizz-god]

Happy 1 Year to Burning Shores! (plus me being cringe and sappy)

The fact that it's already been entire year is honestly insane. Despite being a newer-ish fan to the Horizon series, these games have had such a huge impact on my life. And when the Burning Shores was announced, little did I know what would be in store for.

First off, Aloy's story post-Forbidden West was handled so incredibly well. Seeing how far she's come since Zero Dawn and her evolution throughout FW has been such a treat to watch. It still blows my mind that high school me thought ZD looked boring and uninteresting then and now I can without a doubt that the Horizon series is one of my favorite video game series.

Burning Shores is still my favorite DLC to this day and I am so glad Guerilla Games told this DLC's story in the way that they did. Seyka's introduction to the series was such a breath of fresh air. And her and Aloy's journey together was some of the most wholesome shit I've ever seen. I pretty much declared myself a Seyloy shipper the moment those two awkward dumbass lesbians (affectionate) started talking to each other, and watching their relationship develop over the course of the DLC nearly brought me to tears.

As a little chaotic lesbian enby, seeing this sort of representation in media as popular as Horizon made me so happy to see and I absolutely cannot wait for what GG has in store for Aloy and Seyka in H3. No matter what direction they decide to take, I have no doubt that GG will handle these two and the story at large in an exciting and meaningful way.

But above all of this, not only did Burning Shores tell an impactful story, it also led me to meeting so many incredible people who I am so honored to call my friends (this is where I'm going to cringe and sappy).

Like seriously, I joined the Moth to Flame discord server (and then later became a mod but that's irrelevant) on a complete whim and it is still one of the best decisions I've ever made. Everyone was so welcoming to me and I felt like I fit right in and like I was finally at home (insert The Idea of Home here for dramatic effect). Words cannot simply describe how much everyone of y'all mean to me and I am honored to have met each of you. Y'all rock and I am grateful for all the late nights spent on voice chat and all of the server bullshit and memes and chaos we inflict on each other everyday.

And so, to show my appreciation and to annoy y'all's inboxes, I'm shouting all of you out because this is my post and I can do whatever I want (bite me): @cookie-druid @a-little-ferret @katiemcgrathisdaddyaf @samaelschain @verthanthi @despite-the-nora @drayna @nico-demons @xamiipholia @solitae @hartlesshart @hellcheercaine @zerodawnkitewalker

And of course, shoutout to all of the other Moths that I forgot to tag (there's too many of y'all, okay lmao) and know that I appreciate y'all just as much everyone else listed above.

Happy 1 year to Burning Shores and to all of the memories we've made along the way! <3

[slasheru]

Slasher U 1-Year State of the Union / Unholy Census!

Holy fucking shit we're coming along towards the 1-year anniversary of the release of the Slasher U Act 1 alpha!! We've come SO FUCKING FAR. Sawyer wasn't even a romanceable option back in the day! As of April 27th, it'll be Slasher U's first ever anniversary!

Mostly, I am SO FUCKING GRATEFUL that you all came along on the adventure to make my weird horny dating RPG a smash fucking hit!! Taking narrative seriously in dating/adult games was kind of my entire M.O (is?? mods??) and I am SO GRATEFUL Y'ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO HERE lmao

THE BIG NUMBERS

As of 11:21 AM EST on 3/23/24, Slasher U: Act 1 has sold 6,100 copies across Steam & itch.io (Not including the copies sold as part of Games for Gaza that weren't redeemed/downloaded, so this only counts people who actually downloaded or bought the game!). This is obviously BEYOND MY WILDEST FUCKING DREAMS AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH HOLY SHIT. I didn't even realize it until I added it all together. (On top of this, we sold several fucking tens of thousands of games for Games for Gaza!! Hell yeah!)

For my fellow solo devs out there, this comes to Slasher U making a total of about $6,000 + $2,000 net USD through sales (the former) and crowdfunding (the latter, for Slasher U: Act 2) over the last 11ish months!! The game started off being free for the first 6ish months, then went to $6.69 for the Beta (with dong! whoa!!), and now at its full size, stands at a good ol' $14.99 for 15 hours of primo datin' sim!

This is objectively the most money I've ever made off of anything I've developed in my entire life, and paid my whole ass rent for the entire year, so THANK YOU HOLY SHIT. According to Steam, most indie games barely break $1k in total, so I am AGOG. FUCKING AGOG. THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY GAME AND LETTING ME MAKE MORE VIA NOT DYING FROM CAPITALISM

The average review score, across 89 reviews on itch.io, remains 4.9 out of 5 stars, and we're rocking a 93% Positive on Steam!!

THE UNHOLY CENSUS

The best part of Slasher U is, as I always say, THE STUDENT DISEMBODY!! Slasher U will always be a place where everything is gay and trans as fuck (although I'm also proud of writing my cishet storylines too :V /lh)! I knew y'all were gay (hello fellow gays) but I did not realize the QUEER FUCKING FORCE THE STUDENT DISEMBODY IS

Here's the demographics of Slasher U players as taken from Tumblr polls (that's a skewed sample size of about 280, so grain of salt here for the homo website for queers):

92.6% of you ID as queer (see below for the breakdown!) | 7.4% of you ID as straight

This fictional horror movie campus is: 48.5% bi/pan, 16.2% gay/mlm, 10.3% lesbian/wlw, 10.3% ace (oo tie!), 7.4% queer but not defined as above, and 7.4% straight!

61.9% of you ID as trans/not cis | 23.8% of you ID as cis | 14.3% of you ID as neither trans nor cis

46.8% of you are between 22-26 | 32.3% of you are between 18-21 | 16.1% of you are between 27-32 | 4.8% of you are between 32-45 | 0% of you are older than 45 (sample size I am guessing lol)

For 14.6% of you, Slasher U was the very first dating sim you've ever played (!). For 3.8% of you, Slasher U was the first indie game you've ever played (holy fucking shit!!! this is an actual absolute honor)

76.7% of you instinctively Road Runner away from Melyssa at the fountain in Act 1 | 23.3% let the Melyssa tsunami arrive at you

--

A FINAL WORD (FOR NOW) ON MAKIN' VIDJEE GAEMS

You should totally do it.

No, okay, but for real, I started working in games professionally in 2009 (yeah yeah i'm old. i am 32 and i am dying and they're coming for me in the corpse wagon etc) and I burned out in 2016 and came back two years ago with THIS THING and I can tell you RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW that, if you have ever wanted to make a game and the big guys aren't gonna do it, grab yourself and/or some friends and fuckin' make a video game. I have worked for a bunch of AA and mobile companies and I can tell you right the fuck now that this is the most fulfilling experience I have ever had writing a video game. I taught myself programming logic to make this thing! And sound design! I fucking learned to animate sprite sheets!! YOU CAN ALSO DO IT given the time and energy (pace yourself don't die)! And there won't be any execs around to tell you your weird niche game won't sell!! BECAUSE IT FUCKING WILL

Anyway, my entire career as a game designer, nobody let me write shit for them. You don't need permission to make stuff or write stuff. If you write it, they will fuckin' come, Field of Dreams style (also don't forget to tell everyone you made stuff and share it around. super key here. lmao). Turns out writing is all about sharing yourself with people, and who knows, you might just find that a fuckton of people ACTUALLY relate to you. (And that you're a pretty good writer. Which you knew. Yes, you. I am mixing metaphors and pointing to myself AND you now.)

xoxoxoxooxoxox,

Professor Plutonium

[hood-ex]

Finished JJK S2. Many thoughts below.

I'm kinda "hmm" over the parallels in personalities between the Yuji/Megumi/Nobara team and the Satoru/Suguru/Shoko team. Yuji and Gojo as the powerhouses with loud mouths. Megumi and Suguru as the quieter members. Nobara and Shoko as the boisterous don't take shit ones. Like idk I guess I'm just worried about Megumi in this equation and hoping he doesn't pull a Sasuke (or duh Suguru lmao) at some point.

Speaking of Megumi, he was only really involved in about 3 fights total. I missed him in the bigger showdowns with the others. On the other hand, I'm really glad Nobara got to step in and deal some actual damage to Mahito. Like I said before, fuck Mahito, all my homies hate Mahito. I mean, seriously, it felt like Yuji was getting nowhere with Mahito, so when Nobara got that hit in, I was cheering, I was hooting. I was painting "Nobara" on the back of my shirt. What an awesome moment for her.

Sorry I watched basically the entire series today so my brain is burning, my memories feel like soup rn, I'm going out of order when talking about events. Uhhh... oh I'm glad Jogo and Hanami died. I was sick of them. The difference in the fight between Jogo and Sukuna vs. Sukuna and Megumi's thingy. His... what was it called again? Eh whatever you know what I'm talking about. The pact (?) monster Megumi called forth before he went unconscious. The difference in those fights was super interesting. With Jogo, Sukuna was just having fun and not worried at all. With Megumi's thingy, Sukuna actually had to strategize a bit and such. No wonder he has a fascination with Megumi.

Too bad Sukuna killed those sisters but honestly not surprised. I did like how those sisters revived Yuji/Sukuna.

Oh?? And Choso dude?? The sibling reveal?? You have nooo idea how much I didn't want Choso to get killed off at the very end. I was hoping, I was praying, I was like absolutely not, now that I know he's Yuji's older brother, he cannot die. Ever. Everrr. Bc you know me and my thing about siblings. Love em. I was laughing when Choso was telling Yuji to call him older brother, and Yuji was like dude whaaat lmao. Like shhh, Yuji, shhh. Just accept it. You have two brothers now. Aoi and Choso. Lolol.

Speaking of Aoi, I had a moment where I was like, okay, I can get over Nanami's death because he had accepted his death, he was tired, he was ready to go, but I CANNOT accept Aoi's death. Even the thought of him dying made me start to tear up. He's definitely one of my favorite characters now, which is funny, bc I thought he was just annoying in his first appearance. But the fact that he has Yuji and Takada in his locket?? LMAOOO THIS MAN IS SO UNSERIOUS PLS. Sucks he lost a hand, but I'd rather him lose a limb than lose a life. (Fuck me, he's gonna die at some point isn't he? I will literally sob. I'm not kidding, I will sob when/if that happens.)

Oh yeah and Nanami fucks forever and always. He was so hot for wrapping his tie around his hand like that. Ugh. Love him. Gonna miss him. Hope someone reclaims his weapon. I actually didn't cry over him bc, like I said, he was just... ready to go. He was too tired to go on. I could accept that.

Bro did Maki die?? I mean surely if Nanami survived then maybe she did as well...? I hope she didn't die. I liked her.

Owww my brain hurts, I need to get my thoughts out faster. Uhh... ohhh. Oh. When Yuji witnessed Nanami's death on top of Nobara's death (not convinced she's 100% dead though bc of the medic boy being like idk she was dead but maybe she won't be bc of my healing) and on top of seeing what Sukuna had done to Shibuya... holy fuck... talk about a lot of trauma in a short time. Dude when he just gave up after Nobara's death... and he curled up and cried when Aoi appeared... that hurt me. That made me feel like I was in the stadium of the first Pokemon movie watching all the Pokemon cry over Ash's stone body. It felt like that moment. That sadness and grief just overwhelming. Damn. What a good moment though.

I haven't even talked about Satoru yet. Woooow... the way he demolished all those curses at the train station in such a short time... crazy. Sucks he's trapped in a box. Like idk what else to say lmao. Free my man Satoru.

Omg omg omg can I talk about how two of my favorite moments of the whole series ended up in this season?? So the scene where Nobara talked to that girl from Yuji's high school who had a crush on him, and she called Megumi to come meet them, and then Yuji appeared later. Ahhh!! Squee!!! Megumi was sooo cute! And he was super cute in my other fav flashback scene where Nobara spilled coffee or whatever on Satoru's shirt, and Megumi stuffed the shirt under his own shirt to hide it from Satoru. Like lmao he gave himself boobies. PLS HE'S SO CUTE. MY LIL BEANIE BABY. See, this is why I can't have this man go all Sasuke. I need him to stay on the team for cute moments like that.

And speaking of cute Megumi things, I thought it was so cute when he was planning to die, and he replayed the last words he and Yuji said to each other. Something about them like staying safe/meeting up later or whatever. And he was like sorry I broke my word, Yuji. Something akin to that. :3

Holy moly some of the dialogue goes on for way too long during fight scenes and such. Like I know they have to explain all the techniques and details of curses and such, but it makes the fight scenes seem so much longer, and I'm like goddd please just shut up and fight (I'm literally not retaining any of the info they're saying anyway asldkja)!! Also, some of the fight scenes, even without a ton of dialogue, were just ridiculously long. Like did we really need 3-4 episodes of one fight between Yuji and Mahito?? I was like somebody new please come in and kill Mahito ASAP.

LOL the way that I was like "FINALLY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?" when Yuta finally arrived at the end, only to be like boooooo when he said he was gonna kill Yuji. Like nooo you two are supposed to be friends, okay. Be friends. Amigos. Pals. Fight side-by-side. Nah but surely Yuta will come around and fight alongside Yuji, right... right...

Wow yeah lots and lots of deaths this season. And now Megumi's sister is awake so okaaay...

Also, that Megumi dad dude was awesome as hell. He was freaking insaaane. I didn't care that he was kicking everyone's ass, I was just like let's goooo!

So anyway if any of y'all are reading the manga, please lemme know if Yuji and Choso retain a stronger bond of sorts or if that doesn't happen at all. Or if Choso straight up dies and they never get the chance for any kind of "hey that scar brain dude helped birth us so we're brothers" talk.

!!! I almost forgot!!! Why was Megumi holding Yuji's hood like this lmao. It was cute. And just. the big pile of bunnies.

[senanatheskenana]

Would Genshin Characters Break The Bed?

Jean

Jean probably could if she really tried hard but she doesn’t want to because that seems dumb. She’d be able to with her vision but if we’re talking in a freaky way, probably not.

Amber

Not exactly. I could see that maybe after a long usage (a year or two) it might break and need replacing. She probably would be quite bashful about it if it did ever break though.

Lisa

She might be able to but not without her catalyst. So no. She doesn’t see any sort of pride in it either. She loves her bed so it better be well treated.

Kaeya

No but there may or may not be dents in the wall fro where the headboard hits it...

Diluc

He could but he probably tries not to. There are times where he dets a little too into it though.

Venti

Ahahaha... No. The bed would break him. He’s strong in other ways but not necessarily in this physical way

Mona

Mona cannot afford to break her bed. 

Albedo

He probably could if he wanted to but it doesn’t really make any sense to him. He’s usually preoccupied.

Rosaria

Yes. She had broken the boards underneath a few times over the course ofyour relationship. 

Eula

She gets very into it and doesn’t even realise that one of the legs has given out until after.

Xiao

He breaks it a little every time because he tries to ground himself and keep as much self control as possible by gripping onto the head board. You’ll hear the crunch and then see the aftermath as it falls into your hair like sawdust.

Beidou

Yes. And Kazuha hears it every time because it literally falls off the legs and onto the floor. He wont dare bring it up though.

Ningguang

No. She doesn’t tend to get that out of it so she wont go rabid. If she let go a little more i think she definitely could.

Tartaglia

He thinks it’s funny when you yell at him after the mattress falls through the bedframe. It isn’t a big deal cuz he can just get more. The poor guy who works at the bed store after seeing you both there for the third time that month. He sometimes does it just to annoy you but mostly he just gets too enthusiastic.

Zhongli

Surprisingly no. He absolutely could but he likes to take it slow with you. He wants to make love to you, not use you to split the bed like you’re a claymore.

Ganyu

NO. She’s always gentle. She loves you and she wants to show you she cares by taking all the time in the world to be close to you.

Hu Tao

No but she probably moves the bed a few centimetres each time lmao.

Shenhe

Yes but she really doesn’t mean to. Seriously she tries not to but its either you or the bed. and between you and the bed, you are more comfy to sleep on.

Yelan

She breaks the headboard by banging it on the wall too much. You both definitely find it sort of funny though. She tries to be more mindful of it now.

Ayaka

No. She’s another slow and steady girl. She has way too much respect for furniture <3

Kazuha

Not exactly but the boards may need replacing ever year or so because they get worn down from it.

Yoimiya

No from her. Yes from the fireworks she keeps under her pillow for good luck. 

Ei

YOU HAVE NO HOUSE ANYMORE. IM SORRY BUT A STANDARD BEDFRAME WILL NOT CUT IT.

Kujo Sara

YES. she literally accidentally sets it on fire from her vision too. The bed drops a lot so you go through quite a few of both mattresses and beds.

Kokomi

Nope. She appreciates the things she has too much and i doubt she would be the type to let go during sex.

Thoma

Probably not but the bed squeaks very loud. To the point where literally anyone else even outside the house can hear it to some extent.

Itto

Abso-fucking-lutely!

He thinks its really funny too. With the amount of times he’s done it and to the extent the bed breaks, you’re better off just having a mattress on the floor. Then again he might break the floorboards too.

Gorou

Maybe you could wear it down from sheer usage but i dont think it would be violent enough to literally break it in one go.

Yae Miko

She could but she still has too much self control.

Ayato

i think you’ve had at least one embarrassing moment during sex where the beam under your head and back goes and you end up dangling under the bed. He’s extremely sorry about it.

Tighnari

No but like Gorou i think he could maybe break it after a lot of use. He’d be very embarrassed though

Cyno

Yes, i think he does it quite a lot. To the point he doesn’t even bother getting a bed and instead just buying a futon.

Candace

She might be able to but I don’t think she’d ever do it because she remains pretty clear minded during sex.

Nilou

No. She’s elegant even during that. It’s more like ballet that hockey.

Scaramouche

hE LIKES TO THINK HE CAN. He can’t.

[fatuismooches]

hi :) i see your responses to my asks :) i see your reblogs :) i am absolutely not about to add sodium to the tea i am having rn :)

in all seriousness though oh my goodness smooches ;; i am glad i decided to take a little break from writing for now and be greeted with an influx of notifications alongside your responses to my asks and reblogs to the little thingies i published, just the perfect obliteration my heart needed to perfect my night <3

in response to your excitement about my kabuki series, ME TOO !! good god you don't know how over the damn moon i am just thinking about tomorrow like .. i should probably get a breather because this much excitement, while not new to me because i'm always excited, is about to annihilate my heart lmao

and now in response to your reblog of my fatui kuni drabble, yes. fucking yes. sorry excuse my language BUT. I GET IT. dearest when i tell you it's something i think about a lot — that drabble is actually what i wrote back when i was taking a walk near the seashore about i believe two weeks ago! but that aside, walks around snezhnaya with scara are like everything to me. like imagine him accompanying you to town or along the outskirts — very and i mean very attentively listens to you musings about everything and nothing because he doesn't have much to offer in comparison to what he wholeheartedly believes to be heaven in your eyes as you talk about very simple things ( i shall cut my rambling there because i have a whole series for fatui kuni that is primarily themed around that concept hehe ).

as for the 'nushi thesis...............

oops ~

no but this bitch had me on a chokehold for SO LONG, that i ended up writing not only lore but many, many other things as well from the small to the big deadass ended up being a presentation because i have arranged a design sheet and even chose a fucking theme for him. but king deserves it so (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~

there is so much i could say right now, so much i can express but bloody hell i like, can't because i have successfully melted into a puddle out of sheer joy :')

YOUR HCS FOR KABUKI BTW ARE SO SO REAL !! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUEEN !!

goodness .. dear smooches, dear mutual, dear fellow tea addict /lh lover, to say that your responses have made my night would be one of the biggest understatements i've ever made in life :') like omg i am thinking of a way i could respond to every little thing you mentioned in your responses to my asks and in your reblogs, but i think the bright smile painting my puffy face rn is more than indicative of how genuinely thankful and happy i am 🤍

thank you and incredible lot. i hope mundanities with kabukimono hits in all the right ways and you get to enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing for it. i cannot wait to walk this journey with you and many others <3

— signed with much ( platonic ) love, ayame.

( don't tell kuni that i almost cried because tumblr ate the ask i previously sent you, please and thank you :') ).

the way i am actually about to cry because tumblr keeps having the ask i sent you just a minute ago as a meal............. i swear to god if this one gets sent unlike the other i am going to swallow a biscuit whole /j /nsrs

AYAME NOOOO IM SO SO SORRY TUMBLR CAN BE AN ASS LIKE THAT SOMETIMES 😭😭 But i am so glad to have received this ask from you omg, i love it sm ❤️ And you don't even need to thank me, I'm always happy to support and gush over your writing :)) I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT BEING EXCITED TO POST there have been a bunch of times when i wanted to just post something at that instant instead of waiting (kabukimono series was an example when i literally posted back to back instead of spacing it out, i was SO READY 😭)

AND NGL YOU LITERALLY OPENED MY MIND TO SNEZHNAYAN WALKS WITH KUNI... i never thought about it before but. MWAH. i love the idea because i love walks and the cold especially if Kuni will be there to keep me warm hehe. Him being a silent listener is so so cute and real because you think he doesn't listen but then he brings up something random you said weeks ago and your heart just goes boom. (I propose to you now, you and Wanderer visiting Mondstadt/ Dragonspine and walking along the snowy path there too! Wanderer just has so much overflowing memories of the two of you doing the same thing in Snezhnaya, but you don't remember :( but at least he has a second chance with you to make new memories)

OH MY GOSH THE KURONUSHI STUFF EBWDBEWF bro. i so understand because when i saw him there i was excited beyond words. like FINALLY we were getting some Scara lore after like a year or something?? i also remember being sad that the furniture for the teapot wouldn't change to his picture :( but omg i love your dedication to him sm ITS SO SWEET I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON KURO BC IM SO INTERESTED.

AGAIN IM REALLY GLAD MY SILLY RAMBLES MADE YOU SMILE!! *HUGS YOU* AND I TOO CANT WAIT TO EXPERIENCE YOUR KABUKI SERIES!! ILY TOO!! ❤️❤️

[hisbutler-problematic]

On the topic of Sebastian being completely enthralled about everything Ciel is, I personally love it so much more knowing manga context, because O!Ciel was the 'spare'. He was not supposed to carry the family nane and, frankly, people didn't think he'd be capable of it due to his poor health anyway (Remember Frances and Vincent's conversation in the flashback chapters? It's obvious O!Ciel was quite saddened by what he heard).

By all means, in a twisted way, Sebastian might just be the first person to regard O!Ciel as someone deeply capable, a shiny singularity that doesn't live in anyone's shadow. The adults around him were - tho not unrightfully - seeing his fragility first and foremost while his brother, despite seeing him as worthy, didn't wish for him to leave and forge his own path. R!Ciel's reaction came from childishness sure, but that isn't to say that it didn't feed into the idea that O!Ciel was 'his backup'.

Going off from this, Sebastian is also the one thing in his life and is irrevocably his. Again, twisted, but all O!Ciel built has been under another's name. The manor, the company, the engagement etc. None of them truly his, but his brother's. And the other servants? They are loyal, however ultimately their own people. Sebastian? In an entirely different spot. He'll be there until the end after all.

This is an aspect of their relationship that tugs at my heartstrings so much. It's so toxic and depressing yet strangely soft and tender somewhat at least to me.

Sorry, I just really wanted to pour my thoughts and I appreciate your posts. So here I am!

anon, i’m in love with you

i literally think about this all the time like. that conversation frances and vincent had? imo vincent just flippantly saying "i guess ill just have to give the estate back to the queen lmao" could be taken 2 ways which is: at face value OR (what i think is more likely) vincent just saying what he knows will piss frances off to get her to stop talking. tbh vincent seems like a good dad imo and like he doesnt super underestimate o!ciel (he seemed absolutely fine with the idea of o!ciel going off to london by himself and opening a toy store in the future), but he DOES know that o!ciel is frail and sickly, and it makes me wonder how seriously he considered the idea that o!ciel might inherent the title of the queen's watchdog.

honestly, i feel in some respects, r!ciel treats o!ciel more carefully than their parents. he very much has an attitude of "my baby brother NEEDS me, he cannot survive without me!!" (gasps and shock, to learn it is actually the other way around /s)

all this to say, whether you lean more towards my interpretation or yours, or a fun mix, or whatever, it is undeniable that all of o!ciel's relationships were 'tainted' (for lack of a better term) by his illness and the way it made others view him and treat him.

AND THEN COMES SEBASTIAN

sebastian, who takes one look at o!ciel, and goes "lmao what a fucked up lil dude. time for little a snacky". sebastian, who then sits down to forge a contract with said little dude only to realize Oh Okay So This Child Is Clever. And o!ciel being sickly does kind of come up when they're making the contract, but sebastian focuses more on the actual logistics of that and o!ciel says 'nvm we'll deal w it when it comes up' (which is hilarious imo. he really said a sudden chill can put me on my deathbed but thats a problem for future me).

and then it turns out o!ciel is hella sheltered. but also a huge bitch.

and at this point, all i can assume is sebastian is so bewildered by this experience that the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly and fragile is like. just another thing about this kid. o!ciel has never made sebastian's life easy and it would be stupid to think he would start now, sebastian thinks as his young master suffers from yet another cold just bc it rained yesterday. "i never knew you had asthma" says sebastian, who has read every medical journal to date on chest colds. "you never asked," says the bane of sebastian's existence.

and the thing is you can say "sebastian is only worried about o!ciel bc if o!ciel dies, he loses his meal" which is true and accurate and tbh if i was sebastian and i had put up w that much, i wouldn't want to lose my meal to a mere cough.

BUT ALSO

then you see the way sebastian is so fascinated and intrigued and bewitched by o!ciel. i think to sebastian the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly is just another contradiction in the sea of contradictions that makes o!ciel so fascinating. and i think sebastian is the only one who really sees all those contradictions, he's the only one who sees everything that makes up o!ciel. and he loves what he finds.

(not to mention the fact that sebastian is the only person o!ciel allows to see his every aspect. or, well, some he tries to hide, but only because he thinks sebastian will try to use something against him. either way, sebastian is still the only person who he lets see the most of him. because sebastian is the only person who knows who he really is, who he doesnt have to put up a front for. he doesn't have to pretend to be his brother, he doesn't have to worry about being the spare.)

[arlecchno]

mission accomplished [ scaramouche x reader ]

nineteen | forelsket

prev masterlist next

things didn't turn out so well when scaramouche got a flat tire whilst heading for the hotel, yet maybe, it turned out for the better.

warnings: swearing, just a blurb of scaramouche's lore (if you could even say that it's lore), me and my love for the only one bed trope, reverse comfort at the end i think, a lot of unnecessary scenes but probably still important to the plot

a/n: sorry for the late update... i keep procrastinating on this chapter lmao. this is pretty long since i'm posting once a week now, like around 4.5k words of complete garbage, but whatever, just think of this as a filler chapter i guess. happy reading!

grammatical errors may occur so please let me know if i've made any mistakes!

“you have got to be kidding me.”

“i'm sorry, there's really only one room left that is available, all of the other rooms are fully occupied by the students of snezhnaya university.”

scaramouche scoffed. “we are students of snezhnaya university.”

the hotel receptionist stopped typing on the keyboard and looked at him confusedly. “oh... you guys are um, students?” the woman scratched her head in confusion. “i had a thought that you two were in your late 20's... seems like i was wrong.”

she wasn't wrong. at all.

“are there seriously no rooms left except for that one?” you asked frustratingly, cutting off the previous subject.

the receptionist sighed. “i'm sure of it, though, i'd be more than happy to inform you if there were any changes.” she averted her gaze back to the computer screen.

“...fine. we'll take the room.” scaramouche said shortly after, making you quickly snap your head to him.

“you cannot be serious right now. no way in hell am i gonna share a room with you!” you whisper-shouted, tugging his shirt slightly.

the ravenette rolled his eyes. “it won't be that bad.”

the young woman gave the key card to scaramouche, and he mumbled out a thanks before heading for the elevator, along with his bag. you grumbled out a few curse words, but reluctantly followed suit.

oh it was that bad.

“everyone's fucking with me today.” was all you said at the moment as you and scaramouche stood in the entrance of the hotel room, baffled at what you're witnessing right now.

one. stupid. bed.

things were already going bad when you two were held off from arriving to the hotel early because scaramouche got a flat tire on the way here. you never expected to actually share a bed with the guy you've always hated, multiple times at that, but here you were, once again.

scaramouche groaned, bringing up a hand to rub his face in annoyance. “i can't believe this is happening.”

“you're taking the floor.” you flatly announced, brushing past him to land yourself on the only bed in the room.

the ravenette stopped from his actions to glare at you. “w— why do i have to sleep on the floor?! i drove us here! what did you even contribute to this trip for you to get the bed?!” he argued, stomping to you.

“simple. i exist. i think that's enough contribution, to teyvat even.” you simpy replied, relishing in the comfort of the soft sheets.

“you–!” scaramouche tried arguing further, but no words fell out of his mouth. he only sighed as he walked off and started unpacking his stuff.

you stared at the ceiling. “you know, we can share the bed if you want.”

“and why should i do that?” he asked, stopping from his actions to look over at you.

you fixated your eyes on his indigo ones in return. “well, the bed's pretty big, and we can make a barrier like last time, it kinda worked.” you explained from your lying position on the bed.

scaramouche widened his eyes the moment you mentioned about the pillow barrier. the stupid makeshift barrier that absolutely did not work last week. you only think it worked because you were too busy sleeping like a log to even realize you were tangled up with the ravenette in bed, instead of the makeshift barrier separating you two.

he averted his eyes from you, focusing back on unpacking. “no thank you.”

“guess you're on the floor then.”

“sure, whatever.”

he'd rather sleep on the most uncomfortable place than to even have the same events possibly repeating again.

and he's afraid you might wake up this time.

you groaned for the hundredth time.

“why the hell is he not picking up...” you stared at your phone screen as your friend, once again, left you on voicemail.

childe hasn't been in contact with you for over two weeks now. ever since the trial, you've never heard of childe updating you on any upcoming leads. if anything, childe was always the one who'd share the details to you first before anyone else, yet things left you dumbfounded as he never returns your calls now.

you've asked your other colleagues about it, well, signora to be specific. she only told you that childe's been going through a rough patch lately and that you should leave him be for some time, though he's still always present at the precint, which makes you even more clueless.

i'll try again later, you thought to yourself. he's fine, i'm sure he is.

“you wanna check out the hotel before it gets crowded?” scaramouche asked out of the blue, making you fixate your eyes on him from the bed.

you pondered on it for a moment before answering. “yeah, sure, who knows we might get new leads.”

standing up, you sauntered over with your phone in hand, scaramouche already waiting for you by the opened door.

“do you know what room yun jin and viktor are in?” he asked, holding the door for you.

“not sure, i haven't really asked her about it.” you said, eyeing the number on the door of your hotel room, 515, it read. “viktor's been kind of acting strange lately, so i don't really want to bother him.”

scaramouche hummed, taking the key card with him before closing the door. “what do you mean by that?” he asked, walking with you to the lift lobby.

“by what? viktor?”

“obviously i'm talking about him.”

you and scaramouche halted to a stop in the lobby.

“he's kind of been ignoring me for the past week, have no idea why.” you paused, pushing the down button beside the elevator. “i asked yun jin about it, but she told me it was normal of him to be like that sometimes, which is pretty weird.” you said, focusing your eyes on the number at the top of the elevator that's slowly coming to your floor.

the male beside you raised a brow. “you haven't confronted him about it?”

“of course i have, silly. um, tried at least. he's been avoiding me all the time, doesn't even sit with me in class now.”

the chiming sound of a ding can be heard, and the elevator door slowly opens.

“you don't even see him out of class?”

“see who?”

both you and scaramouche snapped your heads to the familiar voice. viktor and yun jin were in the elevator together, hands interlaced.

calling what you were witnessing right now weird would be an understatement. for the past few days, viktor has done nothing but avoid and ignore yun jin, yet here he was acting normal again, with his hand in hers. the tall man even had the slight audacity to speak up those two words in front of you, the other person he's been avoiding all week.

“oh, it's luna and ivan! where are you guys headed to?” yun jin beamed, walking out the elevator with viktor trailing behind.

you rubbed the nape of your neck, not expecting for them to appear right in front of you. “um, we were just gonna go to the car and get some stuff that we didn't manage to bring along.” you lied. “are you guys on this floor?”

yun jin smiled and nodded. “yup, room 516!”

“516?” scaramouche inquired. that's just right beside yours.

“yeah, it was one of the only rooms left, glad that we even managed to get one considering that we were kind of late.” yun jin said awkwardly, fidgeting her clothes.

you tugged scaramouche's sleeve lightly, making him look at you. the ravenette raised his brow, and you gestured your eyes to the elevator, a signal that you two should get going.

scaramouche nodded at you, looking back at the couple in front of him. “we really need to go, luna left her plush and didn't want it to be left alone in the car for far too long.” he made up an excuse, a dumb one at that, making you glare at him.

“a plushie? that's cute.” viktor said, chuckling along with yun jin.

you faked a smile, gritting your teeth. “well, ivan, we should go, now.” you said furiously, grabbing scaramouche's arm to drag him to the elevator.

“see you two soon!” yun jin grinned, waving at you two until the elevator doors closed.

letting out a scoff, you folded your arms and sent a death glare to scaramouche, in which he paid no mind to. “seriously? a plushie? i'm not a child.”

“it's fun seeing you get all embarrassed, sort of like entertainment for me.” the ravenette said, slightly smirking at the thought.

“it's not funny.”

“it– it kinda is.”

scaramouche was laughing now, much to your dismay. you tried suppressing the urge to not join him on this, but failed miserably when the male beside you snorted, completely falling into a fit of giggles at his actions.

“oh come on! you need to stop putting me in embarrassing situations!” you said while giggling, slapping his arm playfully while doing so.

“or what?” he teased, finally looking at you and leaning closer.

you stared into his indigo eyes in return. “well, i'll...” the words you intended to say died down momentarily as you both look into each others eyes, seemingly like time has stopped.

the distance between you two was long abandoned, face just inches away from each other. looking at scaramouche's flawless face in awe, your breath hitched just for a moment.

you can't remember the last time you were this close to scaramouche. was it when you were sick? was it the time when you both hid in a closet to not get caught? or was it during trial day when you fixed up scaramouche's tie? you really can't tell.

looks like this just adds to the many list of times you've ever been this close with the man you hated the most.

the elevator doors suddenly opens and out of instinct, you both jolt in shock and immediately turned away from each other, flustered by what just happened.

a small group of people, snezhnaya uni students you assumed, walked in the elevator, ignoring the way that you and scaramouche were standing awkwardly at the back. you rubbed the jawline of your face nervously and stared at the mirror beside you.

the elevator had mirrors on all sides except for the doors, so you could basically see what everyone is doing at the moment.

and, if you look a little more closely, you could see the faint crimson that's creeping up onto scaramouche's neck and ears, as much as he tries hiding it with his hands.

“i'm not gonna lie, this venue is ginormous.” you said in awe, looking at the huge place that will hold the grad ball. presumably, you had thought that it'd be a bit smaller, but it seems like you were wrong in so many ways.

the venue was almost fully decorated— with lots of round tables, a big space in the middle (for the classic dance, you assumed), and buffet tables were already set up. some bits of other decorations like lightings, drapes, and a disco ball even, were being decorated by the organizers. though still on the works, the ballroom already looked dazzling.

“don't think we're even allowed to go here yet.” scaramouche commented, eyeing the red tape across the ballroom.

“how are we gonna know every corner of the ballroom then?”

the male beside you did not answer, making you glance at him. he had his signature smirk, and a very knowing look that only you could ever read.

“no, you're joking.”

his smirk only grew bigger at your sentence, and at this point, you might think he was smiling like an idiot instead.

and that's how you two ended up decorating the ballroom, disguised as the many other workers in the area.

“how the hell are you so sure we won't get caught?”

scaramouche looked at you, stopping himself from decorating the round table. he tilted his head to a direction, as if gesturing for you to look over at what he's pointing at. “see that dude?”

averting your gaze to a male a few feet away from you two, you nodded. “yeah, why?” you asked, looking at him warily. the man was sitting on one of the chairs, legs propped up on the table while he scrolled on his phone lazily.

“that's the head organizer.”

“why is he just... lazing around? shouldn't he be the one going back and forth to make everything look as perfect as possible?”

scaramouche hummed. “exactly. seeing how stupid that guy is, he probably couldn't care less if there were people sneaking around as 'workers', much less if there were more additional workers, probably makes him more at ease.”

“do you think we could sneak around and possibly get the files for the plans of the event?”

“what?”

“he looks kind of clumsy to be honest.” you said, and as if to prove your sentence, the man suddenly fell to his butt on the floor, and quickly regained his composure to sit back on the chair embarrassingly. “it's gonna be easy getting those files, i assume.”

scaramouche shrugged, continuing on fixing up the round table to avoid suspicions. “sure, we'll try later.”

and again, that's how you two ended up sneaking in the back of the ballroom, where you assumed the organisation's office is.

“isn't this kind of silly?”

“what is?” scaramouche asked, walking along the halls, careful not to make much noise.

“sneaking around, kind of feels like we're kids trying to avoid getting caught stealing cookies by our parents.”

the ravenette snorted. “that's a very specific description.” he said, scanning his eyes at a closed door of a room, reading the text on it to see if it was the office you two were looking for.

“isn't that basically what being a detective is? sneaking around to get evidence, secretly go on many undercover duties and disappear to months end?”

you looked at him. “well, yeah, but it's pretty funny if you think about it. two grown adults, sneaking around people, going all out just to get some promising leads, it really just reminds me of my childhood days. isn't it the same for you?”

scaramouche was surprisingly silent upon hearing your question, not even taking his eyes off the door he was inspecting just now. you looked at him, puzzled, and nudged his shoulder.

“dude, you okay?”

it took a moment for scaramouche to finally move. “i'm fine.” he mumbled, already heading off to the next location, leaving you behind.

you stared at his figure, confused as to why he's suddenly changed his demeanor and did a whole 180. did you say something that bugged him?

“found it.” scaramouche said, pointing at a closed room ahead of you. he looked at you across the hall, one hand shoved in the pocket of his pants.

you smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, walking over to him.

you've already reminded yourself to ask him about it later on. for now though, you'll have to focus on your plan.

“for a klutzy guy, he sure is pretty organised with the files.” you said, flipping through the files in one of the steel cabinets.

you two have been in the room for about ten minutes now, and much to your displease, you have yet to find the file you were looking for.

scaramouche rummaged through the files on the desk, letting out another curse when the files on there were pretty much useless.

“i don't think we'll find anything here.”

“this is stupid, we should just head back.” scaramouche muttered, heading over to the door. he stopped abruptly when he heard footsteps from outside, quickly turning around to face you. “someone's coming.”

you widened your eyes, and frantically searched for a place to hide. the room wasn't that big, with only a small number of cabinets filled with files, so there were technically zero spots to hide.

out of nowhere, scaramouche took your hand in his and dragged you under an old desk at the corner of the room, secluded from the open space. if someone were to stumble inside the office, they won't be able to notice the two of you hiding under the old desk, lest they went further in the room, in which you silently prayed it won't be the latter.

it's pretty tight space, but it was still able to fit in the two of you, even though you were squished up with scaramouche. you looked at the ravenette, but he avoided your gaze, opting to look out on the person coming inside instead.

the door opened, and a voice popped up. “is the ball really going to go smoothly, boss? i feel like we're still missing a few things for the event.”

“don't worry, everything's perfectly fine. it's not like we haven't done this a hundred of times before, and who cares if we miss out on a few stuff? it's not gonna affect the event.” another voice said, footsteps walking in the room.

the other cleared their throat. “what about that spotlight? i heard there were a few screws loose, and the workers didn't manage to find them.”

the sound of a file being landed harshly on the desk echoed throughout the room. “who the hell cares?! we already don't get paid enough for this shit, i couldn't care less about some stupid screws being loose or a backdrop being slightly off, as long as you get the job done we are out of the responsibility.”

“hurry up and go home, i don't want to be here any longer.”

soon after, the footsteps slowly fade out, and the door closed once more.

you let out a breath of relief the second they left, and looked at scaramouche again. he still had his eyes on the door, not even budging to move from the uncomfortable space.

“scara?”

“hm?”

“they're gone. we can go now.”

scaramouche finally looked at you after what felt like decades. “oh.”

getting out from under the old desk, you stretched out your limbs, the ravenette awkwardly followed you after.

“don't think that file was there before.” he said after a moment of scanning through the room, sauntering over to the desk in the middle of the room. “y/n.”

you glanced at him, bringing down your hands from the stretch you were doing. “what?”

“it's the file we're looking for.”

it was well past 9, you and scaramouche were back in your hotel room sitting on the provided chairs, with your laptop propped up on the small round table showing the pictures you took of the event planning from the file.

“it just looks like any other planning i've seen before.” you said while slurping on the instant noodle cup you made a few minutes ago. given how you and scaramouche were too busy sneaking around the hotel until late evening, you two didn't even manage to get proper dinner by the time you were done.

“there's no use in wasting our time on this if it's useless then.”

you squinted your eyes to look at the planning details better, reading on and on about backdrops, lighting timings, and whatnot. it was all useless, just like what scaramouche had said just now.

letting out a huff, you leaned back on the chair. “let's just wait until tomorrow. we still have time before the grad ball starts.” you glanced at scaramouche. he has been zoning out a lot recently, and it was no doubt that he was doing the exact same thing right now.

“are you tired?” you nudged his shoulder.

scaramouche slowly looked at you, face blank. “huh? why? are you?”

“stop twisting the question around, i'm asking about you.” you pressed, a frown plastered on your face. “you look tired.”

“i'm fine.”

“no you're not.”

now scaramouche was the one frowning instead, glaring at you furiously. “if i say that i'm fine, then i am fine.” he slammed his hands on the table as he stood up, walking away, making you more puzzled than you already were.

sighing, you closed the laptop on the table. guess there's no use in pushing him on the subject, you thought as you continued on finishing your food.

“you sure you don't want to sleep on the bed? there's still plenty of space here.” you asked, looking at him lying on the carpeted floor from the bed you were sitting on. “i feel bad.”

scaramouche had his back to you, so you weren't able to see what expression he was making as of now. “it's fine. hog the bed all you want, i'm not going up there.”

you raised a brow, but didn't question any further. “okay, just tell me if you wanna get up here. i don't mind sharing.”

the ravenette only replied with a hum as you got under the covers, getting ready to finally sleep after a long day of sneaking around.

except that you couldn't sleep at all.

it's around midnight— you think. it had been a few hours since you got into bed, but you haven't even managed to get a wink of sleep. scaramouche was sound asleep now, his soft snores can be heard if you listen close enough.

groaning, you turned to the other side of the bed in hopes of the new sleeping position helping you enter dreamland faster, but to no avail. you groaned in frustration once more.

“you should really stop doing that.” scaramouche said from the floor, voice husky from just waking up.

you propped yourself up with your elbow, and turned to look at scaramouche. “'m sorry, did i wake you?”

scaramouche slowly sat up, raking a hand through his bed hair. “it's fine.” he said, rubbing his eyes. “why're you still awake?”

“couldn't sleep.” you mumbled through the dark room, laying back on the bed as you stared at the ceiling. “been like that for the last couple of weeks.”

the ravenette raised his brow, but it went unnoticed by you. hearing the sound of rustling, you turned your head to the side, just to see that scaramouche had placed his pillow on the bed.

he sat at the edge of the bed, looking at you. “you okay?”

you scoffed. how ironic, you thought. he was the one who's been odd the whole day, yet he was asking you if you were okay, when he should be asking himself that.

“i could ask you the same question.”

at that, scaramouche fell silent. you turned your head back to continue on staring at the ceiling, again, in hopes that it'd bore you out to the point that you're asleep. unfortunately, the archons above really, really hates you.

you heard the sound of rustling sheets once again, and you turned to look at scaramouche, who was now suddenly under the covers, his back to you. “thought you said you didn't want to be up here.”

“you look like you needed company.”

you looked at him confusedly. at the lack of an answer from you, scaramouche huffed and turned to you. it was dark, you could barely make up most of the view in the room, but it was still enough to see the male beside you up close.

“i can sleep just well without you here.”

“sure you can.”

“wh– of course i can!”

scaramouche only shrugged, continuing on staring at you with a fond expression on his face. “what's on your mind?”

“...what d'ya mean?”

rolling his eyes, he brought up a finger to poke at your temple a couple of times, as if to further prove his question. “what's stopping this mind from resting?”

“ugh, stop that.” you swatted his hand away, though not harsh enough like you always do. “was just thinking about you.” you blurted out, making the ravenette widened his eyes.

scaramouche barely believes in the archons, yet he fervently thanks celestial above for the dark room, for you wouldn't get to see how red he's getting from just a single sentence.

eyes wide, you quickly fumbled for an excuse. “n–not in that way! i was just thinking about how you were kind of quiet the whole evening.” you said awkwardly, fidgeting the hem of your shirt. “did i say or do anything?”

“...no, you didn't do anything.”

“then why have you been acting weird today?”

scaramouche looked away from you, sighing. “it's just... when you mentioned about childhood, it just reminded me of mine.” he muttered.

from the years you've known scaramouche, he has never, ever, talked about his family background. you never questioned why, afraid that you were crossing boundaries. now that he's willing to even mention about it, you were shocked to say the least, but stayed quiet nonetheless.

“i didn't respond to your question because i... never experienced any of those stuff.” he paused, glancing at you. “my mother, she, abandoned me when i was little.”

“oh archons, i'm really sorry. i shouldn't have asked that.” you said, scratching your head.

“it's fine. it's been decades now, i rarely care that much anymore.” he let out a breath of a chuckle, somehow amused. “it just hit home when you talked about childhood.”

you stared at him for a long while, and he did the same to you. sighing, you went closer to him and pulled him into an embrace, leaving the ravenette in complete shock.

“you're a strong guy, i'm sorry all those shit happened to you.” you mumbled, wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. scaramouche hovered his hand over your hip for a moment, before reluctantly wrapping an arm around your waist, relishing in the comfort you're willingly giving him.

scaramouche is anything but strong. he had always thought that he was the most weakest among all, yet you make it seem like he was far from fragile, which is ironic, truly. you've always made him feel like a different person, you always never fail to make him feel alive, make him feel like his emotions matter, make him feel important.

it was one of your greatest qualities. you always bring out the best out of someone, and never ask for anything in return. you've made him feel things he never even thought he had, and you've made him feel like he was a perfect human being, despite the many flaws and imperfections of his.

for the last couple of months, your efforts for him only grew bigger. in spite of you two not being able to stand each other, you never stopped making him feel like human. and for the past few weeks, his views of you have changed very differently.

he never thought of himself being in love, just the thought of those four letters make him gag. but with you, he thinks, anything is possible. and after many sleepless nights of being in thought, he has now come to terms at this moment that maybe, just maybe, he has the slightest feelings for you.

it's not something he'd ever tell you of course, and he has never planned on doing so in the future, afraid that he might ruin what you two currently have. he has come a long way with you, from not able to stand being in the same room together, all the way to you being in his arms right now. he does not think it's worth the risk of ruining whatever the hell you two are at the moment.

he sighed after what felt like forever, and hugged you more tightly. “thank you, y/n.”

no response.

he looked down, just to see that you were sound asleep, in his arms. he smiled fondly after a few seconds, brushing your hair just a bit. you looked so peaceful right now, and he slightly missed this view of you.

he wishes he could see you like this every day, every morning, and every single night, but then again, he does not feel like you'd reciprocate his feelings anyways.

he sighed again, bringing you more closer than before.

looks like you do need company to sleep better.

forelsket. from: norwegian. means: that overwhelming gut-rush euphoria exclusive to the beginnings of falling in love. (please correct me if i'm wrong lmao i got this from google)

taglist; @beriiov @hopesandlegacy @cloudsandrenoswife @salamiwrites @thenightsflower @bleedingwhiteroses222 @lisiastak021 @yuuki4646 @lez-zuha @ryhie @sleepy-waffle @yoursockstinks @shizunxie @moonxma @kunikuzushiit @anonwhocried @vqqrii @luminesuprrmacy @calxb-do @sixscara @xooya @mobiussdarling @mafukissu @antri13

(unfortunately i am unable to tag those that are in bold, i'm sorry!)

want to be added to the taglist?

[thetwelfthcrow]

this post is literally for me and like 5 dutch girlies only but i hate viaplay with soooo much of my body and i've been praying for their downfall daily and...

it's been working.

okay context for anyone who cares: ziggo used to own the rights to f1 in the NL. they didn't do a 10/10 job, but they were fun. the interviews are iconic, drivers just liked them, hell i still see clips/gifs with that bright orange ziggo mic every day. sure, jack asked questions that weren't always fitting and may have made drivers uncomfortable from time to time - my biggest annoyance w him - and olav wasn't flawless in his commentary. but they understood the most important thing in the content they made:

f1 is supposed to be entertaining.

i've said before - but that's a whole other post - that stefano domenicali should take this sport more seriously as a sport and that reporters should take it less seriously and see it as entertainment.

ziggo understood that. with formula one cafe before and after each race to talk with fellow dudes about the race: they knew people wanted to be entertained and they did that. there was beer on the table, champagne when max won the championship, they had a special dude to show everyone memes about f1, they had guys that truly understood f1 (former drivers like robert doornbos, giedo van de garde, tom and unfortunately tim coronel and some other dudes who came too rarely for me to remember names) or other types of motorsport (hello jeffrey herlings!) but mostly: they had fun. robert doornbos, guy w great sense of humour but also a big ego lmao, took the piss on host rob kampues who also took the piss on robert doornbos. they just didn't take everything too seriously: they provided entertainment.

now viaplay.

in comes viaplay, start of 2022 season. prices were €10 per month at the time. viaplay was new to everyone: it didn't exist in the NL prior to this. they, aside from f1, also barely had anything on their platform. bit by bit came shows, but, like, nothing too spectacular.

viaplay started off wrong on all accounts. where ziggo f1 cafe was a place with one long table where people sat, beer on the table, a bar in the background and a few people sitting all around (left photo), viaplay's studio looked horribly cold. bright bright lights (a hospital has a more cozy vibe) and the hosts were standing (right photo).

they also got the most humourless people. i mentioned giedo before and, sorry my guy, i've never caught you making a joke before. and christijan alberts - also former f1 driver - is soooo full of himself and also doesn't have a sense of humor. so anyway. i very quickly decided to only use viaplay for the race and turn it on not sooner than the formation lap and not later than 'we're going back to the studio' was even fully said.

eventually, they did move to a table where they sat at but the vibes were still all off. a fridge is warmer. a freezer is warmer. (before anyone comes at me: i like amber ok. she's doing her best. she's been given absolutely shit context to work in. she really rises to the occasion when she's with literally anyone else. that video with max and jos and mika and whatever? she was spicy there. so good. but noooo they but self-centered mansplainer christijan and can't make a joke giedo and ego too big for the room tim coronel next to her. can't expect someone to work when they've got broken tools ok).

they hire commentators who keep literally sucking max's dick in their commentaries. he cannot do anything wrong in their eyes. if he does they blame it on something else. look. olav wasn't objective, but he was just a man with a hobby who got a platform. christijan alberts who literally criticised ziggo for being too subjective about max is literally sitting at that desk in viaplay watching two guys with HORRIBLE voices* talk overly loving about max even when the guy just does his thing. hilarious.

*how! and i really emphasize how!!!! can you hire people with horrible voices when their PRIMARY TASK is to be listened to. why did no one think, huh. these guys are not pleasant to listen to. maybe we should NOT put them in the commentary box.

god i've never in the past year and a half seen, like, a clip from a viaplay interview bc the question was funny or the interviewer joked around. the drivers are funny on their own but when nothing sparks them we'll get the same answer in seven different interviews in the media pen that no one wants. let alone the drivers.

but those are things, like, sure. whatever.

then they added a sponsorship: i think a sports betting place. 'this broadcast was sponsored by' or whatever. i do not pay €10 per month to watch ads. i pay it to be ad free. it's the basis of a subscription.

why would they need ads, you ask?

well viaplay has terrible priorities. as seen before, but they chose one even worse priority.

they sponsor max, prominently.

that decision alone is fine! right. no issues there. but not when you can't really afford it. not at the expense of your subscribers. not when i would personally fund max's sponsorship. i'll buy merch ok! fuck off!

BUT NOW COMES THE FUN PART.

viaplay has been steadily losing subscribers! we love to hear it!

in 2022 they made a €60 million profit. in 2023 they're losing €570 million euros. losing. five hundred and seventy. million. they're firing a quarter of their employees.

gee! i wonder what choices you could make to better prioritise this and to keep bringing quality content you aim for and ---

they decide to rise their subscription prices.

€16 per month. that's a 60% raise (right?). bro.

and! they're cutting off all the other series they had on viaplay and now primarily focus on sport. they're closing their Polish, Canadian US and UK departments (you're not missing anything).

rumours had spread that maybe they'd need to sell the rights to f1 for 2024 but unfortunately they said that wasn't necessary. rn they still have 7 million subscribers. why are you people still subscribed. f1tv is cheaper and even there you can listen to the horrible voices of those two commentators who's names i never bothered to remember.

simplest thing for them would be to stop sponsoring max lmao. but they'll lose literally all relevance then so i doubt they ever will. cancelling and moving onto f1tv was the best decision i ever made. praying for their downfall too. can't wait to see my besties rob kamphues and certified cheater (but at least he's got a sense of humour!) robert doornbos talking about the race and jack plooij joking around with the dudes and olav mol being interrupted in his monologue because max decided to be a little shit again. they were passionate about the sport. everything they did lived and breathed the whole if-you-like-your-work-you'll-never-work-a-day-in-your-life thing. they had fun! jack plooij is a literal dentist who just likes f1 so he somehow rolled into the pit reporter job. rob kamphues is a comedian. they all had their love for f1 in common and were just fanboying on live television and that was fun.

i just miss ziggo man.

[sylvyspritii]

ME END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

Please read this Agreement carefully. It is a legal document that explains your rights and obligations related to your interaction with me, especially if you are a giant corporation. By doing anything with me, or by otherwise indicating your acceptance of this Agreement, you are agreeing to be bound by the terms of this Agreement. If you do not or cannot agree to the terms of this Agreement, you may not interact with me. THIS AGREEMENT CONTAINS A BINDING, INDIVIDUAL ARBITRATION AND CLASS-ACTION WAIVER PROVISION. IF YOU ACCEPT THIS AGREEMENT, YOU AND ME AGREE TO RESOLVE DISPUTES IN BINDING, INDIVIDUAL ARBITRATION AND GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO GO TO COURT INDIVIDUALLY OR AS PART OF A CLASS ACTION, AND I AGREE TO PAY YOUR ARBITRATION COSTS FOR ALL DISPUTES OF UP TO $0 THAT ARE MADE IN GOOD FAITH (NOTE: WE DECIDE WHAT GOOD FAITH IS LMAO) (SEE SECTION 12). YOU HAVE A TIME-LIMITED RIGHT TO OPT OUT OF THIS WAIVER (1 SECOND LMAO). If you, or a corporate entity, forces me (the person), to sign a poorly written "end user license agreement" before i am allowed to play your video game or other media (see section 398), your agreement is hereby void, and i (me) am allowed to play your video game without your own silly end license user agreement, making it so that i can still sue you even though your end user license agreement was "agreed on" by me, because a simple checkmark or an A button press does not count as my legal signature, this means that you, and especially if you are a giant corporation, are now not allowed to take legal action against me, because i said so, and you, by interacting with me, have legally agreed to this legal agreement and lost your right to sue me, and i have the right to play your video game forever, and also, you have to donate one million dollars ($1.000.000) to charities of my choosing (see section 6820) and perform legally legal succulent actions on the current genitalia of the vessel of flesh that i currently reside in (see section 23570) ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (explanation: this is a post i wrote to mock video game end user license agreements, which often have ridicolous draconian elements, that players are forced to "accept" before being allowed to play the games in question, however, these documents, even though they seem long, complex, and serious, often are flimsy at best when it comes to their legal strength, and are full of contradictions that would not work in international courts, they are often specifically written to only cover a legal perspective from the United States of America, and fail to take into account many of the rights that people all over the world have to protect themselves from these kind of ridicolous contracts, not only that, but an "A press" to check a checkbox is dubious at best for an official agreement to a contract like this, for a real contract to be taken seriously like this, a legal name and signature would be the very least thing that they could do to improve their legal legitemacy, which is low to begin with Legal note: THIS IS A PARODY AND SATIRE, this is NOT an offical statement, agreement, or contract, and is merely what people refer to as "a bit" (see section 69), it is not meant to be taken seriously TL;DR: These documents are written to be as confusing as possible for the average user, and are absolutely ridicolous, and we should poke fun at them more)

[lolzitop]

Aikatsu Stars is cool but I have the hubris of a god and I think I can do better so I decided to rewrite everything about it lmao (this is for you @arabella-pink)

Season 1

Main characters are Yume, Koharu, Rola, Mahiru, Ako, and Haruka Ruka (I can’t help it her wide eyes and cute character design has captured me) 

Pre-Season 1 Yume is someone who had a decent amount of fame as a child star and lost it (idk how I came up with all this a week ago and forgot) and now is doing everything she can to regain popularity again 

Yume and Koharu are still childhood friends they are a package deal and you cannot and will not separate them

Four Star Academy is a highly prestigious idol academy that’s super duper competitive- especially considering that you have to be the best of the best to be in S4 

Speaking of S4, in Season 1, S4 only consists of Yozora, Tsubasa, and Yuzu 

Before the school year in Season 1 started, Hime completely disappeared from the spotlight due to the pressure she has felt as the top idol (she’s the most favorited out of S4, every brand she promotes sells out in seconds, she is bigger than life itself, think of her as the Taylor Swift (popularity wise) of Aikatsu) 

Yozora, Tsubasa, and Yuzu are the only ones who know where she is, but refuse to disclose, to the point that Moroboshi almost disbands S4 because of it 

We find out where Hime is like,,, end of S1- beginning of S2 (Hime plays a bigger role in S2) 

Erasing the whole dress-make system that Aikatsu had because I am sick of idol designers I want regular designers back please

For a while, Yume had left her old star life before seeing S4 performs (and being hit with the classic Aikatsu moment™ where she realizes that this is what she wants)

The only problem is… Yume’s not very talented in the idol field… she struggles with dancing and singing and practically has two left feet

So imagine everyone’s surprise (including Yume) when she absolutely kills her debut performance (this is where the magic rainbow power comes in) 

The rainbow power is one of Aikatsu Stars’ biggest mysteries because??? What are you??? Where did you come from?? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS AND WHY DO YOU TARGET RANDOM IDOLS??

In the rewrite, the rainbow power is something that is a “gift” from the Aikatsu System (which idk I might make another post about with my ideas) in which it amplifies abilities of idols: gives them the most beautiful voices and powerful auras to the point it overrides any other auras nearby; however, it does have its cons: it causes the idol to lose their voice (like in canon), become more fragile, and forget their memories the more they use the power

Anyways, Yume’s feeling great and then the partner performance thing comes and she’s paired with Rola and does absolutely horrendous

Even then, her confidence is still high because she proclaims Rola as her rival (who agrees but doesn’t really take it seriously) 

Oh, I forgot to mention, Rola and Mahiru are prodigies from really rich families (*gasp* nepotism…) and have been child stars- they’re also rivals who are constantly at each other’s throats 

Rola doesn’t really think Yume’s a threat so most of the time she’s quite dismissive of Yume, but Mahiru respects Yume a lot after her debut performance 

Mahiru and Rola had planned to be in Flower Song Class together (and whoever won the selection would win their “little” rivalry) but Mahiru switches classes after seeing Yume’s performance (who has made it very clear that she’s going to go to Flower Song Class) 

Also Flower Song Class has a reputation of pushing out the biggest top idols of their age (ex. Hotaru Yukino, Hime) and is a highly competitive class 

Anyways, Yume and Rola make it to Flower Song (Yume’s power activates again), Mahiru and Koharu are in Moon Beauty, Ako is in Bird Theater, and Haruka Ruka is in Wind Dance 

Rola and Mahiru have a big fight about how Mahiru is a coward and is backing out of their rivalry, blah blah blah some sapphic fighting idk guys they just have a big fight 

Also Ako and Haruka Ruka are friends as well 

Ako became an idol similar to canon,, she liked a member of M4 and wanted to get close to him (except its Kanata she likes and not Subaru because I like Kanata more) 

She basically calculates and plans to trick him into liking her lmao (except it turns out Kanata knew the whole time and liked her for her true self) 

Guys I swear I’ll come up with more stuff for Ako and Haruka Ruka I WILL I PROMISE IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK

I may pull a Bandai and abandon M4 because I do not know how they could impact the plot they’re just,,, standing there and looking pretty (I only have stupid headcanons)

Back to Yume, she finds out more about her power somehow and instead of trying to get rid of it,,, she uses it more to her advantage 

Girl is DEAD set on being famous- she finds out a way to use the power frequently, which sets her at the top of her class and actually makes her popular with the general public (she probably got an album out i dunno) 

She’s been warned by Moroboshi, who has seen how this power has hurt his own sister. But won’t stop, she can’t stop, because she’s climbing up and up. She’s made a name for herself, she’s made new friends… and she’s losing them even quicker than she made them 

She can’t remember much about herself anymore: what songs she hums when she can’t sleep, the food her mother used to make for her when she was upset, the games that Koharu and Yume used to play when they were little. But it’s fine, it's perfectly fine because Yume is famous now. She has everything she wants. 

Yume’s been thriving in Four Star’s competitive environment. Koharu, on the other hand… hasn’t been doing the best. Koharu has always been more of a designer than an idol, and she’s always behind everyone else. She doesn’t have many friends outside of Yume, and even Yume has been too busy to hang out with Koharu. The pressure and stress is too much, and she decides to leave Four Star Academy to be better. (*Episode 30 flashbacks*) Yume comes back to their dorm with all of Koharu’s things gone, and only some candy and a note left for Yume. It’s only then that Yume realizes all that she’s lost, that in the search for fame, she’s lost who she was, her friends, her family, everything, just to get her name to the top. 

Yume struggles a lot with fame, where she barely gets an ounce of privacy, and the pressure is crumbling her (along with the guilt that this isn’t her, it’s the magic power). She’s been used by many people, who use her name to be more famous, and then immediately leave her. 

Yume realizes why Hime left. Hime had a midas touch, everything she would touch would turn gold. However, what good is a midas touch if all you wanted was to wear silver jewelry? And Yume thinks of how lucky Hime is, to have taken her dignity and left the idol world. 

A big part of Yume’s arc is how she isn’t idol-worthy. She doesn’t really have the star quality in her. Everyone around her is naturally talented and good at everything and Yume… isn’t. Everyone is sort of the chosen one… except Yume. Yume is a person who knows she isn’t special, but makes herself special. There will always be queens and princesses, but what about the girls without magic in their blood? They have to hold their heads high, as if they are the ones who are adorned with crowns (that’s a Six of Crows reference I love Six of Crows) 

I also had an idea where Yume actually stole the magic power from someone but I also have NO idea how she would do that… guys this is still a work in progress and I’m sorry its so messy its so late and I didn’t get much sleep 

Additional ideas I had that I didn’t know where to put

Koharu is basically a personification of Yume’s childhood and everything that makes Yume… well Yume, so her disappearing is just symbolism for how Yume has lost herself and her childhood 

Mahiru and Rola are gay and they like each other in the rewrite because I think their dynamic is cool (they’re also lacy by Olivia Rodrigo coded you guys should listen) 

FSA still puts an emphasis on individuality so students are encouraged to customize their uniforms as well as their school coords (so their Star Coords all have different silhouettes)

Hime is sort of someone who “haunts” the narrative in Season 1 

Ako gets her own brand (that isn’t FuwaFuwa Dream nor Shiny Smile but a secret third thing (I don’t know yet))

Haruka Ruka may have a Pop Brand with a decora concept called “DECO●LOUR MY WORLD” but I don’t know yet 

Koharu is also a cute type idol 

Anyways the Season 2 post (if I ever make one we’ll see) will have Hime getting an SPR and Yume NOT getting an SPR but she gets Koharu back so I think that’s a fair trade

Also some songs for the rewrite would be The Lucky One (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift, making the bed by Olivia Rodrigo, You’re On Your Own Kid by Taylor Swift, and Castle’s Crumbling (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift