#ace and bi ryan is so real to me

[lakesparkles]

(If this looks weird it's because I'm posting on my cellphone and I don't know how to do it)

I finally have enough art to make another LiS post!! Once again it's mostly True Colors because I can't stop thinking about these three. Ofc one of these is a redraw of that picture of the game!

Also, I wanted to do some Pride Month stuff for them :3

[frecklystars]

I never really thought about sexuality much even when the people around me started showing interest in relationships. So at first I thought I was bisexual, because I had the same amount of interest in men/women. Then I realized that gender wasn't really an important factor to me in attraction, so I called myself pansexual. Then I realized most of the people I'd ever felt attraction towards were fictional, so these days I mostly just use aspec/queer to identify myself.

All of these labels (to me) are just a tool for helping you understand yourself a little better, and you don't need to force yourself to use one you don't feel fits anymore.

I remember seeing a post on tumblr ages ago talking about identity that was like 'show me a permanent state of self' because you're constantly changing as a person as you learn.

Anyways, sorry for the rambling, just wanted to let you know you're not alone, sorry about the sexuality crisis, hope your day gets better

AWW thank you for taking the time to send this to me sweetheart. "sorry about the sexuality crisis" made me burst out laughing; I know you didn't mean it to be funny, you are being kind, but that's just funny to me that multiple people have sent me messages in my inbox/dms saying "so sorry you think you're a lesbian and it's making you spiral and cry in the middle of the night" like I just never expected people to send me a message like that haha. thank you, genuinely thank you for saying that though, because HOO i am STRUGGLING here bro... but it's ok i'll figure it out eventually <3

I have heard that's very much an aro/aspec feeling, to say "well I don't feel much preference for any gender, so maybe I'm bi/pan". I watched a video on being aro/ace and I related to some of it but not all of it entirely, so I know I'm... I'm ace, for sure. and I think I'm aro somewhat? Women™ are a big big big piece of the puzzle and the only reason why I don't feel fully aro is bc my attraction for them is There but at the same time I don't know if I feel it... as... much(?) as I am "supposed" to. or maybe my lack of physical affection/lack of feeling totally safe in a relationship is just bc of actual life experience and not like, who I am as a person? question mark???

I also think the realization that maybe I am not changing from bi into possibly lesbian, but I might not have been bi this entire time has hit me like a ton of bricks and is what's hurting me so bad. I was so confident I was bi for yeeeears, because I assumed I'd felt attraction to men, even if it was short and fleeting and practically nonexistent, but all this time I don't think I have felt attraction to men, not truly. but again -- does bisexuality have to include men? if I'm a cis woman I mean, would my bisexuality HAVE to include men or can it just be "I am attracted to literally anybody Except Men." and like, hey, maybe I haven't met enough men?? most of my experiences with men have been kind of um. uncomfortable and creepy. maybe I would feel attracted to a man in the future?? I used to joke with my other bi friends "oh my standards for men are SO HIGH, they have to meet a whole checklist of requirements for me to feel attraction to them, but for a woman all she has to do is exist and I'm in LOVE with her" and like... that could be.. a lesbian feeling sdfhldhfskldf or I'm just bi with 99.9999% attraction to women and 00.0001% attraction to other people, which might include men but like, only two unobtainable men who are celebrities (Ryan Gosling and Nick Blaemire) which don't count because they are... unobtainable celebrities. MAN WHO KNOWS!!!!! I DON'T KNOWS. is it still valid attraction to men if it's an unobtainable celebrity? It's still a real life man, right? Even if you know nothing would ever come of it? Me feeling romantically attracted (or I guess crushing lol) on a male celebrity feels just as real and big and pure and whole as me feeling romantically attracted to an obtainable non-celebrity woman standing in front of me. AGAIN, WHO KNOWSSSSS

I like how you said labels are a tool and I don't need to force myself to have one that doesn't fit anymore. I just feel really like, panicked if I don't have a label, for some reason. Maybe "WLW" or "Sapphic" can be my placeholder. I like being bi but man I don't know if I was ever bi at all if I don't feel attracted to men unless if they're celebs/fictional?? It doesn't feel like I've gradually changed into something else, it feels like I've woken up from a dream-like state where I thought I was bi but it turns out I'm actually Not. unless if, like I said, I could be bi with just, the strongest attraction to women possible LMAO. it doesn't help that I'm ace because it makes it a little more confusing to figure out. soooo many people have told me "oh it depends on who you'd sleep with" but I don't want to sleep with anyone. y'know. never ever had that urge, no matter the gender. WHY IS IT SO CONFUSINGGGG BRO

anyway thank you for sending me a message and helping me feel heard/listened to. giving you hugs and flowers 💖💐🌼🌸🌻🌷✨🌹🌺🌈✨💖💝💟🌸💘✨

[scientific-tricorder]

It's Pride Month, so here's a list of canonically and semi-canonically queer characters in Star Trek. (In order of characters' first appearance; exact quotations/references under the read more)

Special shout-out to any and all joined Trill for being trans.

Canon

Data (The Next Generation): Aromantic and asexual ("In Theory", "Phantasms")

Jadzia Dax (Deep Space Nine): Pansexual ("Rejoined")

Mirror Kira Nerys (Deep Space Nine): Bi/pansexual ("Crossover")

Mirror Ezri Dax (Deep Space Nine): Bi/pansexual ("The Emperor's New Cloak")

Seven of Nine (Voyager and Picard): Bisexual ("Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2")

Hikaru Sulu (Kelvinverse films): Gay (Star Trek: Beyond)

Michael Burnham (Discovery): A-spec ("Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad")

Paul Stamets (Discovery): Gay ("The Red Angel")

Hugh Culber (Discovery): Gay ("The Red Angel")

Mirror Philippa Georgiou (Discovery): Bi/pansexual ("Will You Take My Hand?")

Jett Reno (Discovery): Gay ("Through the Valley of Shadows")

Raffaela "Raffi" Musiker (Picard): Bi/pansexual ("Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2")

Beckett Mariner (Lower Decks): Bi/pansexual ("We'll Always Have Tom Paris")

Andarithio "Andy" Billups (Lower Decks): Asexual ("Where Pleasant Fountains Lie")

Adira Tal (Discovery): Trans, non-binary ("The Sanctuary")

Gray Tal (Discovery): Trans ("Anomaly")

Zero (Prodigy): Non-binary ("Lost and Found")

Christine Chapel (Strange New Worlds): Bi/pansexual ("Spock Amok")

Semi-canon:

Q (Various): Bi/pansexual (Article)

Beverly Crusher (The Next Generation): Bi/pansexual (Article)

Julian Bashir (Deep Space Nine): Bi/pansexual, a-spec (Video)

Elim Garak (Deep Space Nine): Omnisexual (Bi/pansexual) (Article)

Phlox (Enterprise): Bi/pansexual (Article)

Keyla Detmer (Discovery): Queer (Article)

Exact quotes and references:

Data: "With regard to romantic relationships, there is no real me." (and "In Theory" in general); "I have no sexual desire."

Q: "There’s no question in my mind that when I play [Q], I love Picard." - John de Lancie

Beverly Crusher: "Bev would have slept with male or female" - Gates McFadden

Julian Bashir: "I don't think Bashir had a very overt sexuality…he certainly had a stunted sense of sexuality…I don't think that he put the…platonic side [and] the physical side together. So he could fall in love across…the board...because he's falling in love with both sexes." - Alexander Siddig (edited for brevity and clarity)

Jadzia Dax: The entire episode of "Rejoined"; "Terry Farrell says Jadzia Dax was pansexual." (Article)

Elim Garak: "It’s about being omnisexual. That basically his sexuality is something that can happen with anyone." - Andrew Robinson

Mirror Kira Nerys: Shows interest in men and women

Mirror Ezri Dax: Kisses/in relationship with Mirror Kira

Seven of Nine: Hand holding with Raffi, their relationship throughout second season; "Oh, Seven is canonically bi, don't you worry." - Jeri Ryan (Twitter)

Phlox: "I was trying very hard to suggest he had a polyamorous relationship with the boys as well as the girls. I do tell people I was the first gay character on Star Trek, whether you were aware of it or not." - John Billingsley

Hikaru Sulu: Shown with husband

Michael Burnham: "You've never been in love." (This is probably the vaguest one, but the discussion is about romantic love, and if a fully grown adult like Burnham has explicitly never experienced romantic love before, I think it's safe to say they're somewhere on the aro/ace-spectrum)

Keyla Detmer: "[S]he maybe is starting to accept herself in her own queerness, whatever that means." - Emily Coutts

Paul Stamets: "[I]n my universe, and pretty much any universe I can possibly imagine, I'm gay."

Hugh Culber: "I'm gay, and so is [Culber]."

Mirror Philippa Georgiou: Shown with male and female sexual partners

Jett Reno: "My wife is Soyousian."

Raffaela "Raffi" Musiker: Hand holding with Seven, their relationship throughout second season

Beckett Mariner: "Oh, I'm always dating bad boys. Bad girls, bad gender-nonbinary babes, ruthless alien masterminds, bad Bynars..."

Andarithio "Andy" Billups: "[I]f you're planning on tricking me into intercourse, think again. The only lady I love is two decks tall, and pumped full of dilithium;" "You need to accept the fact that I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life."

Adira Tal: "Um, 'they,' not–not 'she.' I've never felt like a 'she' or–or a 'her,' so I would prefer 'they' or 'them' from now on."

Gray Tal: "Transitioning, it's like, I had bigger things to think about. But, if I get another chance to remake my body, then why not get rid of all the things that aren't totally me."

Zero: "Not a robot, nor a he, or she."

Christine Chapel: "He and I are on the same page. Casual, no attachments, this is just for fun, zero commitments." "[Y]ou said the same thing about that gal on Argelius II."

[artificial-ascension]

Intro post tehe

!My blog used to be Megaumbreonda3- It is no longer that!

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Sideblogs:

@haxx-r-us (Pokemon irl roleplay blog)

@fairweather-fangs (edgy wammys kid roleplay blog)

@making-a-killing (other edgy wammys kid roleplay blog)

I have an nsfw blog but I don't want that connected to me.

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I'm Alistair or Michael. (Acceptable nick names include: Alas, Ascension, Ace)

He/They

19 years old

Bi Gay

Nonbinary transman

Yes, transandrophobia is real. No, transfeminine people are not the root cause of oppression towards transmasculine people. Please stop being an ass to random trans people.

American, unfortunately. English is my first (and only) language but I suck at it so sorry.

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(=Rest of the post under the cut=)

Kin list:

Azula (Avatar: The Last Air Bender)

Mello (Death Note)

A (Death Note)

Kurapika Kurta (HunterxHunter)

Tuffnut (How To Train Your Dragon)

Tim Wright/Masky (Marble Hornets)

Eyeless Jack (Creepypasta)

Homicidal Liu/Liu Woods (Creepypasta)

Lighting (Wolf So-[gets killed immediately]

If I knew what Kinning was when I was 8 I would have kinned Rainbow Dash unironically.

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This is my personal blog so it's mostly thimgs I like or feel like sharing. I reach my daily post limit ALOT and reblog on a whim so watch out. Aside from normal person things my hyper obsessions include:

Death Note

And the media I am normal about is:

Pokemon

Fullmetal Alchemist

HunterxHunter

Black Butler

Devilman

Transformers

Creepypasta

Several others but those are the big ones

There's also my OCs and my original stories. Expect to hear about those on a rare occasion. Expect to hear about my OC Ryan on a daily basis because I love him.

Blog icon is from whatever my current big hyper-obsession is. Currently it's Mello from Death Note.

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My tolerance for bullshit is minimal, so obvious DNIs apply. Don't try and get at me with any weird fandom or sexuality discourse because I don't care. Terfs I am calling you out specifically. I'm a gay man, I don't want to hear any of your man hating bullshit. Kill yourselves and fuck off.

NSFW blogs run by people exclusively attracted to women you have no place here. I'm a man, despite my feminine charms. Feel free to interact using non horny blogs however.

Also DNI if you're 15 or under. I come here to escape freshman.

If you don't reblog/post anything and your blog is untitled I don't trust you. I will block you. I will also block if I just don't like you.

Also if I say stupid shit it's because I am stupid. I don't know how to phrase things alot of the time. And sometimes I say weird shit because I just don't know better, correct me if I do please, I'm trying to be normal.

I will probably alterate between loving the world so very very much and wishing death upon everything like every hour depending on how I'm feeling. Cause I'm build different.

Ok enjoy :)

[strawberryviscera]

things I am so fucking fed up with as an lgbtq+ person that just exhaust me to no end:

•cis people making fun of trans names. I literally had a cis girl say “ew why” when I said I wanted to go by Ryan. Also, your “pack it up Kai, Alex and Ash” jokes really just hurt they’re not funny

•lesbians telling gay men and bi women to “get better soon” when they say they’re attracted to men. like please stop it’s not funny

•people spending so much time and energy sucking up to transphobes and homophobes so they can get even an ounce of respect. sorry, but a transphobe isn’t going to give you respect just because you go on a rant about how neopronouns are ruining the community and a homophobe isn’t going to see you as any more of a respectable person just because you say ace people aren’t lgbtq+

•”no blacks no Asians no Latinos it’s just a preference” hun that’s racist. shut up. literally not going to explain this one and if you say otherwise you’re fucking blocked

•viewing AFAB nonbinary people as just diet women.

•viewing AMAB nonbinary people as just diet men

•infantilizing AFAB enbies and trans men (e.g. “uwu soft smol bean baby boy cinnamon roll”) and demonizing AMAB enbies and trans women

•cis girls who watch/read yaoi and project it onto real life gay men. it’s fetishizing and gross, and you’re not an ally when you’re like “uwu my smol dirty sinner boys I’m blushing”

•people who view bisexual people as diet gay/diet lesbian

•”the A stands for ally” no it doesn’t it stands for asexual/aromantic

•people who care so much about neopronouns. For every person in the comments I see getting mad about neopronouns I will add one neopronoun to the list I go by bc I literally do not give a shit if you hate that I like the idea of being called moon/moonself

•people who see being a “gold star gay” or a “gold star lesbian” as some kind of badge of honor and not a term that should be put to death

•terfs.

•people who say anything about “trenders.” it’s literally not a problem for people to experiment and also cis people aren’t going to respect trans people more or take us more seriously just because you’re bullying a kid online.

•Blaire white

anyways this is ok for non lgbtq people to reblog but please I don’t want any bullshit in the comments

[lovenotesuggestions]

Is there a way you could tell me all of the 'names' for exclusionist people? Like terfs, or people who think you need dysphoria to be trans (I don't remember the name ;_;) I want to be as inclusive as possible, and thus wanna read and learn more about exclusionists. You're very knowledgeable about the LGBTQIA+ community from what I've seen, at least a lot more than I am, so I figured you'd know at least some of them. I also wanna make it clear who to put on DNI list for my blog.

Thank you for thinking of me to ask, and for trying to educate yourself! Off the top of my head, the main things I can think of to look out for are:

TERFs sometimes also go by ‘gender realists’ or ‘gender critical’ - they’re more likely to self-identify as terms like those rather than as TERFs because they consider it a slur (it’s not). Also look out for people with things like XX or ‘adult human female’ in their bios or usernames - it’s TERF shorthand for identifying themselves as ‘real’ women. You may also see the term TWERF - trans women exclusionary reactionary feminism. Some people interpret the R to stand for radical, but reactionary is more accurate. 

The folks you’re thinking of who think you need dysphoria to be trans are called truscum or transmedicalists. On twitter especially you often see them with crossed sword emojis or lightning emojis in their usernames/bio, which they use to indicate themselves as fans of K/alvin G/arrah (censored bc he and his fans tend to namesearch him to harass people who call him on his shit) or storm ryan, who are two particularly virulent truscum youtubers. Ofc not everyone with these emojis are people like these, esp with the new pokémon game that just got announced, but I tend to be cautious of it. 

People who exclude ace and aro folks don’t tend to have a specific name - they tend to self-identify as ace exclusionist, though some self-identify as aphobes (which like... blows my mind when they claim to just not think aces/aros are LGBTQ+, but are happy to call themselves openly discriminatory and hateful towards ppl for having an orientation?? anyway that’s a can of worms for another day). They usually only refer to themselves as ace exclusionist, but this also extends to aro folks too. 

Not specifically LGBTQIA+ related, but it’s also worth looking out for SWERFs, which stands for sex worker exclusionary reactionary feminists, whose feminism opposes sex work and opposes legalisation of sex work (particularly full service sex work, which is the preferred way to refer to prostitution) despite evidence that criminalisation of sex work actively harms sex workers, who are disproportionately poor, POC, and LGBTQIA+. 

There don’t seem to be any other exclusionist ideologies with specific names (at least not that I’m aware of), but some other common ones to point out are:

non-binary exclusionists, who don’t believe non-binary genders are real (sometimes referred to as exorsexists, which is a name for the specific type of transphobia experienced by non-binary people) or who gatekeep the way n-b people behave, i.e. who say n-b people can’t identify as gay or lesbian, can’t use he/him or she/her pronouns, can’t use neopronouns, can’t medically transition, can’t present in a masculine or feminine way, can’t have typically masculine or feminine gendered names, etc. 

people who don’t believe pansexuality is a valid orientation (who think it’s just bisexual for people who want to be special, or who believe it’s inherently transphobic due to a misconception that bi = attracted to cis men and women and pan = attracted to cis and trans men and women, when actually bi = attraction to two or more genders, and pan = attraction to all/regardless of gender - whether or not the people in question are trans doesn’t play into it). 

There are even still people who don’t think trans or bi people should be included in the LGBTQ+ community, even though it was a bi woman who organised the first pride parade, and trans women of colour who were instrumental in the Stonewall riots. 

There are also a few particular brands of lesbophobia becoming louder recently, including but not limited to: people who assume all/most lesbians are TERFs or aphobes due to an unfortunate minority of vocal lesbians with these views, people who think lesbians can’t be non-binary, and people who don’t think lesbians can use he/him or they/them pronouns. 

People who don’t believe others should identify as queer or use/reclaim the term. 

If anyone thinks of anything I’ve missed anything off, please let me know! Also, if anyone has any additional good-faith questions, like what particular terms might mean or what I might be referring to at certain points, then feel free to ask them!

Pre-emptive note: This blog firmly believes in the inclusive nature of the LGBTQIA+ community - the history of our movement is based on inclusiveness and unity between the different groups marginalised for not conforming to cisheteronormative standards, and exclusionism has always been a bad thing for us - it’s the thing that made lesbians, bi folks, and trans folks have to fight to be included in the acronym, even though they were the founders of the rights movement. My LGBTQIA+ community is for anyone who isn’t cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic, and perisex and who wants to be a part of it. Policing people’s presentation and the way they go about expressing themselves in a world that tries to quash our self-expression is not part of the spirit of the movement that is supposed to celebrate diversity and non-conformity. People being themselves doesn’t make the community ‘look bad’ or justify homophobia or transphobia - the people to blame for discrimination are the discriminators, not the people being discriminated against for rejecting toxic respectability politics. I will not be responding to any discourse on this matter - y’all know where the unfollow button is. Keep it out of the replies and out of my inbox and generally away from me.

[acecorvid]

Do you have book recs? Especially queer book recs, both fiction and nonfiction. Thank you!

Why yes I do friend! A whole list under the cut because I added descriptions and it’s rather long, but also if you’d rather: here is my queer book list on goodreads (some of the books I haven’t read yet but the ones I have read have longer reviews from me).

Fiction: 

All For the Game (aka The Foxhole Court three book series) by Nora Sakavic - fake sport, total drama university, demisexual character, gay characters, slow burn, lots of violence unfortunately, dysfunctional found family

The Raven Cycle (four book series) by Maggie Stiefvater - a magical game of hide and seek with an ancient buried king, gay and bi characters, found family filled with more love than you thought possible

Dress Codes for Small Towns by Court Stevens - queer characters, found family of somewhat delinquent friends (but they’re good Christian delinquents), finding yourself and exploring your sexuality under the watchful eye of religious people

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray (I recommend the audiobook) - beauty queens crash and trapped on a desert island what could go wrong, gay and trans characters, a lot actually goes wrong but a lot goes right

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz - I’ve reread this book so many times I’ve lost count. Slow burn. Boys falling in love. Boys who will do anything for each other. Written in the most loving way I’ve ever seen.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero - teen detective club all grown up and still traumatized by the eldritch horrors they saw in their youth, Scooby type gang and the gals are queer

 The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee - this book has so much I don’t even know how to describe it, but it’s delightful and all the characters are so good, slow burn, too many wonderful tropes to count, at one point there’s a pirate ship

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera - ahaha this one hurts. The world building is phenomenal though and so are the boys and their love. 

It’s Not Like It’s a Secret by Misa Suguira - delightful wlw story of a queer girl, her family, and how she grows up with secrets

George by Alex Gino - a kid’s book about a trans kid, very sweet and informative, audiobook read by Jamie Clayton

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli - one of the best coming of age/coming out stories Ive read, inspired the movie Love Simon

More Than This by Patrick Ness - existential crisis of a book, queer main, all around beautiful story

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo - trans main, acceptance, growing, and dating

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan - two characters of the same name, several gay characters, a delightful journey of finding friendship and oneself

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz - father of main is gay, from the author of Aristotle and Dante, beautiful tale of a young boy coming of age, figuring out his identity with his past and his present and his future

Comic/Graphic Novel:

The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal: Omnibus by E.K. Weaver - this sits on my shelf and it is HUGE, read it first as a webcomic so if you can’t find it in stores it’s online, long ass road trip that melts my heart every time

Lumberjanes by Noelle Stevenson (and more) - the best camp experience you will ever have

Take Me with You by Andrea Gibson - beautifully queer poetry

Nimona by Noelle Stevenson - everyone is queer, magical and misunderstood, bad guys need assistants too, sometimes the good people aren’t the best people

Non-Fiction: 

Revolutionary by Alex Myers - a historical retelling of Deborah Samson/Robert Shurtliff from a trans perspective

Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock - autobiographical, trans, sex work, sex positivity

Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded by Hannah Hart - autobiographical, positivity in the face of anything, family with mental illness, difficult relationship with parent

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic (also graphic novel but it’s autobiographical) by Alison Bechdel - also a broadway musical, broken family, coming of age

Sex Variant Woman: The Life of Jeannette Howard Foster by Joanne E. Passet - the life story of a lesbian librarian/teacher who needs more credit, very long and detailed but worth it, has a lot to teach you about the queer history in general

Not Explicitly Queer but Can Be Read as Queer:

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng - one of the main characters is ace and I will fight for that

Romeo and/or Juliet: A Chooseable-Path Adventure by Ryan North - there’s an ace joke and plenty of queer subtext

[canallynwrite]

I bring asks: 2, 4, 7, 12, 13, 17, 26, 29, 30

thank you!

2 - HOW DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR SEXUALITY? TELL YOUR STORY.

for context: i’m biromantic asexual!

i was one of those kids who didn’t even know that it was actually possible to like girls as well as guys, so i only really discovered the lgbt+ community after i entered middle school and got access to the internet. the first time i actually thought about being anything other than straight was when my friend came out to me as bisexual. now, my first (or second, whatever) thought was: “does she like me?”

and nobody wants to be the person who thinks their not-straight friend of the same gender is into them just bc said not-straight friend came out to them, so after doing some research i did some self-reflection and realized my actual feelings were more akin to something like: “i hope she likes me.”

for the rest of the year i tried to convince myself that she was the exception to my straightness and was definitely not crushing hard on her. then at the end of the year i started dating someone who, after we dated for a week or so, came out as a trans dude, and i sort of just accepted my bisexuality. the last bit probably doesn’t make sense, but he was in the middle of figuring out his gender, so for a while he identified as a gal and that was when i first really acknowledged that yes, i am indeed very not straight. him coming out as trans just hammered my bi-ness. looking back on it, there were many signs that i was not straight at all. i just had zero language for my feelings!

my asexuality was just always there, tbh. i found out about asexuality after i accepted my bi-ness so as soon as i learned what it meant i just went ‘yah, that’s me. i’m ace.’

4 - WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU TOLD? HOW DID THEY REACT?

uhhh, apart from the dude i was dating, probably the aforementioned friend who’d come out to me as bi. she was really happy for me and we celebrated my first coming out experience together!

7 - WHAT IS ONE QUESTION YOU HATE BEING ASKED ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY?

i try not to get mad at ppl asking questions, bc i know that it is Quite Possible to not know much about sexuality (for the longest time i didn’t know ANYTHING) but biphobic and acephobic questions in general really get my goat. yes, asexuality is a thing that exists; no, i’m not going to cheat on my partner just bc i’m bi.

12 - WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU’VE HEARD SAID ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY?

tbh, any time a straight person starts talking about the lgbt+ community like they know everything about it and are Great Allies i have to roll my eyes. jordan, you’re straight as uncooked spaghetti and cisgender, please stop pretending your opinions have any authority here just bc you read a few articles on gender/sexual fluidity and have a gay friend or two. 

but, on a more well-known note, the stupidest thing i’ve heard would definitely have to be anything that those assholes who claim that the lgbt+ community includes pedophiles have ever said. that idea is both stupid and enraging.

13 - WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE?

i’ve seen lgbt+ people say a lot of stupid shit, even against other sexualities (especially against asexuality), but as a whole the lgbt+ community is extremely accepting and seems to have so many little niche corners for every possible interest or hobby. like, u want lgbt+ writers??? u got it, pal. a group lgbt+ athletes??? u may have to look a little harder than for the lgbt+ writers but damn, they’re there! blogs about lgbt+ animals in nature??? yes, that does exist!

it’s such a large community, filled with so many different types of people, which is what i love about it!

17 - HAVE YOU BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP? IF SO, HOW DID YOU MEET?

i’ve been in two! and am currently in,,,, something? it’s a little complicated. we both know we like each other (and i wish we were dating!) but we haven’t “””officially””” decided to go out. 

the other two were a) some dude i broke up with after two days lmao; we won’t talk about him, and b) the dude i talked about earlier! we met on a roleplaying forum for ppl in our area when we were younger and really hit it off. i asked him out two or three months after we met, and we were together for about six months before going off ‘n on. we “””officially””” broke up after a year or so bc he needed some time to himself for his mental health.

26 - WHAT IDENTITY ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?

well, for pre-middle-school me i’d sit her down and give her an hour long lecture on the lgbt+ community and recommend her some books w/ lgbt+ characters. she doesn’t know that being bi is possible so i’d also pull up an irl bi person as an example. for questioning!me, i think i’d just advise her not too push to hard against the idea of being bi. if you continue to like girls (and you will) then that’s okay and not something to tear yourself up about.

29 - WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT BEING LGBT+?

a) we are, in fact, a very wide spectrum of individuals, and stereotyping irl people does not help anything. being interested in women does not make me super butch; it makes me, me.

b) being lgbt+ is most certainly not all peaches and if you act like it is then you are Very Wrong Indeed, my friend. tbh, i don’t have much for this point besides complaining about that one straight person who called themselves an ally but still tried to police who i came out to and implied that if i wasn’t okay with having my sexuality shouted out to the world in the middle of a crowded cafeteria then i must be repressing myself. so, yeah, don’t be like that person, kids.

30 - WHY ARE YOU PROUD TO BE LGBT+?

how persistent lgbt+ people - of the past and present - are. throughout every age and every culture, no matter if lgbt+ ppl are oppressed or accepted, you will find lgbt+ people. some are harder to find, because of hate towards people like them, but look hard enough and you will find them. even when lgbt+ people were persecuted, they were there. even in places where they could still be put to death today, they’re there, and they’re fighting.

the pink triangle was what nazis marked gay men with in concentration camps, but lgbt+ people, most notably the AIDS movement, have reclaimed it, taken it back and turned it into a positive symbol for lgbt+ people.

and that is why i’m proud to be lgbt+. to stand with these people is an absolute honor.

[migleefulmoments]

CrissColfer Musings

So I am to believe that a handful of women from various parts of the world who have never spent more than a paid 5 minutes with Darren Criss or the time it takes to sign a book with Chris Colfer somehow KNOW more about Darren and Chris than Charles and Cerina Criss, Chuck Criss, the Starkids, every Hollywood friend, Darren himself, Chris himself, Mia Swier and Will Sherrod. OKKAAAYYYY... But why would I believe that?   This bitter group of tinhatters understands what motivates Darren, Mia, Chris and Will better than all those people who spend time with the couples? Right.  It makes perfect sense that @ajw720 knows Darren’s deepest darkest feelings and has the power and the knowledge to discount every single thing that Darren says he feels about Mia, Ricky, Ashley and Michael. She also has the knowledge to claim that every every single person who actually IS friends with Darren and Mia is a problem, lying, faking, pulling stunts or problematic...or all of those. Cuz she knows EVVVERRRYTHINGGGGGG, so play nice.  It seems logical that a stranger in NYC would have this kind of knowledge and insight and it makes sense that she would have the power to hate on Darren’s beloved friends who have been his dearest friends for years including the Starkids, Ashley Weston, Ryan Murphy and Ricky Rollins. It makes perfect sense that @ajw720 would call out every gay man in Hollywood who praises Ryan Murphy for giving them opportunities because she understands more than Matt Bomer, Colton Haynes, Kevin McHale-and even straight Darren Criss and Ryan Murphy himself- what motivates Ryan Murphy. It is logical that she makes sure the GA understand that while Ryan Murphy-an out and proud gay man- who has spent his life promoting gay causes and writing storylines with realistic gay characters and then hires actual gay, bi and transgender actors to play those parts... and to play straight characters would for some reason closet Darren Criss...a man who says he is straight. For some reason, Ryan Murphy, a man who has made it his life’s work to normalize LGBTQ in the media met Darren Criss and instantly thought “he shall be given a straight narrative in order to wet teenager girls’ panties and will from this day forth be in the closet so deep we will never see him as anything but a heart-breaking, panty-wetting,  5′8″ hunk”.  It makes perfect sense that @ajw720 and her band of bitter minions would know details of a phantom contract that seems to never end and which includes an ever-changing mess of points including 1. keeping Darren in the closet 2, Keeping Chris and Darren apart 3. Forcing Darren to carry out “stunts” in order to keep it all quiet 4. Forcing Darren to have a beard he hates  5. Promoting Mia  6.  Giving Darren a straight narrative that forces him to lie to the public in elaborate ways and doesn’t allow him but somehow forces him to give details about the fake private life 7. forces Darren to purchase and maintain a multimillion dollar “PR house” in Hollywood and an apartment in NYC simply for “PR stunts” 8. that somehow has cast a net over most of Hollywood to force them to say nice things about Mia.  Ryan Murphy is at the same time both forcing Darren to maintain this contract as his jailer AND currently working some sort of deal to end this nightmare closeting...at least according to current tinhat theory. Of course they also thought that ACS was going to end in Ryan Murphy somehow helping Darren end the contract that he started but I digress.  This magic never-ending contract also has offshoots that somehow include Ricky Rollins mistreatment of Darren and Mia as evil overlord. Ricky abuses Darren by forcing him to accept too many jobs, making him promote products that the tinhatters find distasteful, makes him do too many Ads and makes Darren “promote Mia” -whatever that means.  Darren of course has no choice because Ricky has Darren’s power of attorney because the tinhatters read that on a “standard” online manager’s contract they pulled over the interwebs and a whole new group of devilish things that Ricky is doing to Darren were born.  Doesn’t matter that Darren has over and over used words that show that he respects Ricky and that Darren is happy with Ricky’s work-thinks of his as an asset.  Darren stuck with Ricky when he left the bigger management company started his own business, but I am sure they believe that Ricky signed the contract on Darren’s behalf using that power of attorney and therefore Darren was once again a cuck.  Because no judge would ever invalidate a contract by such a nefarious manager...like ev’a.  

The biggest problem with the tinhatters: @ajw720, @Mleigh60 who is BACK, @Cassie1022, @chrisdarebashfulsmiles, and @souly is that they spend their days dismissing what Darren says about himself.  They have created this convoluted theory to dismiss everything that Darren has ever said.  Theirs is an exhausting job! 

I’ve been in the fandom longer than any of the  tinhatters-except maybe @MLeigh69. I’ve read all of their theories-I promise they aren’t smarter than me-and the secret messages that they believe are being sent to them alone.  Nothing they say is real.  They have created a fantasy that they “prove” by using the most ridiculous logical fallacies and repeating outright lies.  Let’s tackle two I saw posted with anger again today.

Darren said he was gay.  Really? No.  Darren has said for years, over and over and over that he is straight. Yet, CCers hang their hat on a video that they believe Darren says “I'm gay” even though a. the camera isn’t on anyone,I can’t hear “I'm gay” no matter how many times I listen to it  b. nobody says “I'm gay” after telling a joke about seeing Taylor Swift naked or women naked all the time and c. the photographer doesn’t even flinch even though his friend just outed himself.  The tinhatters have dismissed all of the times Darren has said he is straight, that he loves Mia, that he is engaged to her and instead rely on ONE video in which Darren isn’t on camera and it isn’t clear if anybody said “I'm gay”.

Another tried and true CC truth is that Darren said he didn’t know when he came out as straight during an interview.  Their take is he never has been straight...my take is that is because he never felt the need to “came out” as straight.  He was, at that time, working hard to change the conversation for “how in the world can you play a game man on TV where you KISS a gay man?” by downplaying his sexuality. It didn’t work.  Everyone asked him about his sexuality. They either wanted to talk about how could he not find it weird to kiss a gay man or call him a hero. Darren changed that narrative but it took time and he had to talk about his sexuality eventually. 

[wetookanoath]

what are your squicks in fanfics?(things you absolutely hate/disgust you)?

I don’t have many? Mostly because I don’t hate stuff, nor feel disgust for things. So PLEASE, what I’m about to say are just things I don’t read because I’m not into them:

The idea of Ricky Goldsworth (and Ryan) as a violent, dominant in a sexist and violent way, criminal who truly does wants to harm people (Shane) while seeking power through said animal behavior because it feeds the idea of men of color being violent and so. Not to mention the fact that is this persona who is a criminal and all these negative things vs Tinsley or Banjo, who are both good white guys who are “corrupted” by him– I just… It’s not for me, a mexican woman who happens to be an abuse survivor.

I’m actually not a fan of any of the invented characters out the Unsolved mysteries. Mostly because of the Goldsworth persona, the fact that Tinsley, Dr. Fear and Holly Horsely are real people (one of them an actual abuser, Holly an actual fan of the show we don’t know lol)… and well, the appeal of it it’s not for me.

There’s a lot of weird ass descriptions of Shane’s body. Writers out there write him off with this idea that skinny = femenine (and dude isn’t actually skinny, anyway but ok), he is also often described as delicate (against Ryan being described as rough, hard, and whatever the fuck other weird ass shit you guys seem to think means he is more a man, which is insulting and ridiculous), and even ugly. There’s a fucking fic everyone loves where Ryan himself is thinking about him, the man he supposely loves, as “weird looking” and “how can he like him if he is so unattractive”, and the author goes as far as to describe his feet as strange like the form of his face, so not someone you consider handsome, and I’m just?? Why are you writing this ship when you obviously don’t like one of them????? I mean, I do have my answer but uhm– yeah.

Which leans me to this bullshit trope of characterizing Ryan is a man who thinks he will be less a man if he is with another dude. Like, I get it– this is a thing that happens in our society, but there’s a point in which Ryan’s internalized homophobia is Too Much. There’s a point in which having him ALWAYS have the crisis is saying something very bad about us as a fandom and how we persive him as a person, and how we think gay people feel, which is unfair because most of us are cis women, that while some of us are queer, there’s tons of straight cis women writing this and, ejem, PLEASE DON’T.

Every. single. time. Ryan. is. refered. by. one. part. of. his. heritage. Because it’s fucking racist, but also because people erase his other heritages he is so proud of. Ryan is not only asian-american, he’s part mexican (and he is super proud of it) and part filipino (EDIT: I’ve been told his 1/4 filipino part would enter in asianamerican). And just– anyway, don’t refer to him as “the asianamerican man” because I’m gonna lose my shit and faith in humanity. Again.

Cringy as fuck things: 

“the skeptic said”, “the believer answered”.

the manhood, trobbing memeber, stick, “that between his legs” makes me laugh so hard, just call it cock, my man.

Ex girlfriend cheats on them, poor thingy needs a dick up his ass to feel better about it :(

Ignoring Helen to favor other white people, especially white woman.

When they get away with cheating, like???? 

I just hate cheating. Break up the thing. Make it poly. An open relationship. AU in which they are NOT in a relationship previously to the story. You have so many options, don’t be disgusting.

Over using wheeze.

Over using their likes for popcorn, movies, Ryan’s insterest in the supernatural and conspiracies.

Shane and Ryan with the same age even thought it’s not an AU.

Bad written dom/sub dynamics.

I don’t read first person, nor second person. I don’t like it.

I don’t like crack fics.

Just ol’ preferences:

Make them bi, you don’t have to erase their relationships when they can be bi, pan, ace, etc.

It’s not that I don’t like bottom Shane, I actually don’t care as long as it’s a good story. But assholes in the fandom ruined bottom Shane for me because they write him so fucking weird. They accuse others of writing Ryan feminine but in reality is the other way around, it’s… weird. So yeah, I actually do avoid bShane stories.

Because of that, I’m also not much into dom Ryan. I tired to read one recently, but I couldn’t finish it. But, I do have a few favorite fics in which Ryan is a dom. Another reason why I don’t read many dom Ryan fics it’s because most of them are actually about the Goldsworth persona being this violent man I don’t like.

There are fics in which Shane is written as this imposing dude that will push Ryan to admit he is into man and AH-AH, that’s one big NO for me. Don’t do that to my boys.

I’m not into polyam. At all.

[so-chaos-killed-the-dinosaurs]

this is a dumb question, but what exactly is the "point" of the characters (particularly the Heathers, i'm assuming) that the new TV show is fucking up with their redesigns. i just wanna make sure i understand the issues here.

Ok the Heather’s are suppose to be the “popular girls”. They are the people who have the characteristics of what society considers to be beauty and they mock anyone who doesn’t met those standards.

Being skinny and making fun of people who aren’t. Caring more about their status standing than their grades, making fun of people for being geeks or nerd. Mocking people for not meeting what is considered the norm in society, aka being along the LGBT spectrum. (I mean damn JD and Veronica staged Ram and Kurt’s deaths as them dying because they where gay. And expecting them to be the mockery of the school. So making fun of people for being gay and the like.) Wearing clothes that are considered in at the time and that highlight their gender. Aka anything the Heathers wear which was all considered in at the time and stylish.

Heck the colors where a power symbol recognized by them. The queen of the school wore red. Both Chandler and Duke established this in the movie.

And then the first promo pics lacks the signature colors and shows them in weird clothes that would have gotten them weird looks and mocked at my school. The first promo pic is suppose to be thought over carefully. This is the first real image people are getting of your product. This is the hook that should help spark a person’s interest in your product. Get them thinking and hopefully interested in what you are making. And if the first image alone is already putting off a good portion of the fandom. Then you know you have an issue.

They only care (especially Chandler) about holding their social status. Veronica herself has said that she’s using her High IQ to pick out lip gloss and trying to figure out how many kegers she can hit before curfew.

Chandler gets pissed at Veronica for not holding up to the standard she expected for her at the party. (Sleeping with a guy she just met). Chandler certainty would never let herself be fat because it would go against her standards.

They are suppose to be a symbol of what society considers beautiful. And yes they are doing a modern version. But what sparks JD’s hatred for them. Is that he observes them (the Heathers, Kurt and Ram) mocking people for being different. He has seen this all before. Every school he goes to he sees it again and again. A never ending chain of bullying. He watched the Heathers make a mockery of Martha in the cafeteria. Making fun of the fat kid. (Now the show has a SKINNY Martha.) He watches Ram and Kurt chase down those nerdy boys and says stuff like “you piece of shit fag” and trying to get the kid to say “I like to suck big dicks”. Being gay wasn’t a good or popular thing. It lead to you getting bullied.

And yeah times now are a bit more accepting. But I went to a big school. I knew a lot of the LGBT kids because I was friends with a lot of them. I ran in circles that had a lot of them. (Anime Club, Art and Theater related things, Even Band.) I knew the spots where you could go after school and find a group of kids and a majority of them would fall into the LGBT spectrum. None of them where along the popular side at my school. Knowing my school they never would be.

By having the Heathers fall into the very groups they are suppose to mock. It goes against their characters. You can’t have an openly gender-fluid person or Lesbian mock other LGBT people. Yes not all LGBT people are nice. I’ve met plenty of assholes who are LGBT. But being LGBT and being the top dog at school and mocking other LGBT people at school. That doesn’t fit. A LGBT person couldn’t come up to me and make fun of me for being a girl who gets crushes on others girls. Because I’d just be like “so what you’re a guy that’s into guys. Or so what so are you. Etc.” It doesn’t have the same sting it does when coming from a non LGBT person.

A well known girl at my school was obese. But if she came up to me and made fun of my weight it wouldn’t work because she was heavier than me. Her insults could be fired right back at her. Now if a person in extremely good shape where to mock my size then that would hurt.

On top of that having all three of the Heathers fall into a minority but none of the other main characters. That also just seems wrong and like they are baiting people for brownie points.

Here are some changes to make the characters more diverse that would have worked.

•Making JD or Martha a race other than Caucasian. My favorite version of JD is Dan’s. Dan isn’t Caucasian. Yes I love Slater and Ryan. But image wise and art wise I love it when people base their JD around Dan. Also making them another race wouldn’t hurt their characters at all.

•Making Martha Bi or Pan. Martha’s crush is apart of the story and how she gets mocked so she still has to be into guys. But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t be Bi or Pan.

•Making JD along the Ace/Aro spectrum. I personally headcanon JD as Demisexual Hetroromantic. JD doesn’t seem like the type of character to honestly be that all into sex. Yes he had sex with Veronica. But I wouldn’t see it as interfering with the point of his character if he only had an interest in people after having a connection. I don’t think JD would just sleep with any girl. That he would have to have a general interest and connection with them. And yes typically Demisexual people (in my experience) need a longer time frame. But part of Heathers… well insane story is that it happens so fast.

•Making Veronica Bi. it wouldn’t mess with her character purpose and could give them that diverse cast they are looking for.

•Not making Martha skinny.

Now I wouldn’t want them to make all three of them minorities. As I feel likeIt might give the baiting feel it has with the Heathers. But if they did like 1 Heather & 2 of the others. Or 2 Heathers and 1 of the others. And making it seem like only minorities are mocked and non-minorities can’t be mocked doesn’t sit right with me. And I feel that’s how it would come off is all the bully’s werent minorities while the bullied kids were. As I know it isn’t true and I’ve watched people who fall into minorities categories make fun of people who don’t.

Idk three just feels like a good number.

And by 1 or two of the Heathers I mean their race. As I don’t think them not being Caucasian in a modern heathers would be much of a problem. In all productions of the musical I have seen at least one of the Heathers. (Usually Duke) isn’t caucasian. So having one of the Heathers a different race wouldn’t be an issue.

Oh and here is an idea. They go to a freaking school. You have cast characters you could use to get that diverse character cast you are looking for without messing with a character’s role. You want an LGBT character, I’ve said this before, but try having a girl have a thing for one of the Heathers. Like they did in the musical. Show her confessing to one of the Heathers. Then show how they treat her. Show them making fun of her or treating her poorly. Show me these asshole Heathers that are suppose to be an example of what is wrong with society. Show me Bi Veronica and them learning she is and Chandler pushing her to hide that side of her. That would be in character.

Show them making fun of a trans kid and that being part of that fuels JD to kill them. Because that would fit.

Show the negative consequences of what the Heathers do. Show how it effects people. When the show ends show Veronica trying to make things better. Show her approaching some of those kids and working with them.

Also for a racially diverse cast try having kids who aren’t just Chinese, Japanese or black. Try having Cuban characters or Native American or Polynesian or Puerto Rican, Indian, etc. Branch out to other races. Because while black and Asian may be two of the other top races after white in America, they aren’t the only ones.

I’m doing this on mobile. So sorry if it is long or runs together weird. I’m not always the best at wording this. @power-of-innocence tends to do a better job than me.

Edit: I would like to add that the reason the LGBT kids of my HS would never be popular wasn’t like due to my high school being really homophobic. (One of the most beloved seniors when I was a sophomore was an open lesbian.) But mostly due to the sheer size of my school. We had between 3,000 and 4,000 students each year. And 6 different lunch periods. (Technical 3 but for the 9th and 10th graders it was 6) It was impossible to fit the whole school in the cafeteria or gym. We didn’t really have popular kids. The closest you would get to it is kids whose names were well known. Like people really active with school related stuff. Like being apart of the student council or on the Cheerleading squad. (I actually knew many of those girls and they were all really nice.) Also having known those kids they weren’t the type of kids to ever be popular due to their personalities. They a lot where into unpopular subjects and/or also feel into the emo/goth categories. So a lot of them wouldn’t have been popular due to that. But even then the popular kids at my school weren’t mean. Most of them where popular because they where really nice and a lot of people just naturally liked them. Sorry just wanted to add that.Edit: At the time I made this every time I heard Martha mentioned people were saying that they were making her skinny, this maybe incorrect but I’m still not 100% sure. It’s still a horrible show regardless though. Just wanted to correct that.

[mild-lunacy]

Why I Like Labels

So I'm reading this LGBT romance, Bromosexual by Daryl Banner. I always enjoy tongue-in-cheek titles, and tongue-in-cheek books. It's pretty good so far. One of the guys is gay; the other thinks he's straight, but isn't. They're at the point where they're having a sincere conversation about the not-so-straight guy's sexuality, 'cause it's obvious he's definitely sexually attracted to his friend, Ryan. And he's worried he's homophobic, 'cause he still doesn't think he's gay or bi, even after having sex with his male best friend. He honestly says he never related to the gay guys he'd known, but on the other hand, neither is he like the super sex-obsessed straight guys he knows, particularly 'cause he knows a lot of athletes and jocks. He's enjoyed straight sex, but hasn't had a serious relationship. He's like a perfect example of the romance novel and/or slash fic 'gay for you' stereotype.

They go a little further than some books like that, 'cause he says he used to actually think he was asexual (but I suppose he dismissed it 'cause he feels sexual interest sometimes). And although at first, Ryan had insisted that his friend Stefan was gay (or alternatively, bisexual), at that point he agrees with Stefan that maybe he doesn't need a label after all. Things aren't always black and white, are they? Why force it, right?

I don't know if they arrive at the idea of demisexuality eventually or if Stefan ends up identifying as gay in the end, which I know some demi and/or ace people do in real life. So Stefan may end up changing his mind in the future, theoretically, no matter where the story itself ends up. It's only been a few days at this point. Most people need way, way more time. This conversation is pretty early, all things considered. But given that it's called 'Bromosexual', I'm guessing the book doesn't choose to classify Stefan's 'grey' orientation by calling it grey-ace or demisexual. I don't even know if I'd be disappointed, 'cause even having an honest conversation is more than many books end up doing. It's unlikely that an average guy (of any persuasion) would have those kind of soul-searching talks with his friend *or* boyfriend, realistically. Although, well, Ryan is a school psychologist, so he should be more likely to initiate and/or sustain one than most.

All this *did* make me realize that there are actually many portrayals of male demisexuality out there, 'cause the gay-for-you trope is so very, very common. There's really no other way to look at it, at least for me: being sexually attracted only to the person you're super close to is what demisexuality literally means. Since almost all the stories with the gay-for-you trope have the main characters be way closer to one friend than any others, you can't really dispute it. Stefan may not be attracted to any other guys, but he's also not super close to any other guys. And then there's the fact that the only guy he maybe sort of also got attracted to, he was friends with. And nice as it is to talk about how not everything needs a label, basically I think that if you call gay people gay, there's no reason not to continue calling other things by name, too. Either everything has and needs a name, or nothing does. I'm not sure why I should really think that as soon as something becomes complex and difficult to figure out, the need for names and categories disappears. Surely it's *more* important to understand and name difficult things, rather than only the simple, black and white things. Honestly, if anything didn't need categorizing, surely it's the obvious.

You could talk about how the idea of someone only becoming gay because their friend is just that special is unrealistic, problematic or even truly negative for queer people or what have you, 'cause plenty of straight people have also had fears of being 'turned'. It's not as if queerness is actually contagious. But I don't really care about that angle, personally. Even though technically you could also solve this by calling your 'not gay' character 'queer'. Maybe it just hasn't been long enough for that usage to truly permeate and disperse far and wide enough to be broadly acceptable and accessible in fiction, although it seems like an out gay man living in the US like Ryan would be up to date with the umbrella usage of 'queer', even if he hasn't heard of demisexuality. I was actually a bit amazed a jock like Stefan even knew enough to consider his own asexuality. That's way further than most of these stories go, even in actual published LGBT fiction.

It's funny, 'cause there's definitely times demisexuality doesn't work as a label, and you should try for gay or bisexual. For example, with John Watson, given how repressed he is, yeah I'd still go for bisexual. It's one thing for a man to honestly admit they're not interested in guys that way, generally. (Though it becomes particularly damning if one doesn't generally have intense heterosexual romantic attachments either, like John.) But given that John has been so adamant, so messed up about his relationship to Sherlock... yeah, I wouldn't take any of what he says or perceives about himself at face value. Even if you accept John is actually straight, clearly he's not someone you can just believe to be honest to or about himself. While that isn't an excuse to project anything onto him as a character in an analysis, I'd say it's pretty apparent that there's something going on that he's repressing. Specifically about Sherlock. And well, demisexuality isn't about repression; it's more like a way to explain how some people may genuinely only like one person 'that way' and not dozens or hundreds, or what have you.

In *that* sense, I agree that labels are certainly tricky things, and ought to be used responsibly. You shouldn't just apply them willy-nilly, or assume they explain individual complexities where they only barely hint at them. I mean, in my opinion, the word 'gay' includes the full spectrum of behavior and attraction from hyper-sexuality to asexual homoromantic people (and more). At the same time, this breadth means any given label can't predict or explain all the aspects of a particular individual, necessarily. That's not what labels are *for*, anyway. Of course there are things there are no labels for. I mean, you could always make some, but they're certainly not always necessary. That's true.

But it's maddening to me how often characters (and people in real life) will have this conversation, like in Bromosexual, where either someone goes for the obvious or demisexuality and bisexuality are both more or less hand-waved away. I mean, I understand that demisexuality is an obscure idea, so I'm not very surprised or particularly upset about it. But bisexuality gets the same treatment in the media, and that *does* upset me. Bi erasure is real. There's enough public awareness of bisexuality that ignoring or dismissing it as a useless label it is *obviously* purposeful on some level. Or at least, whether or not a given writer meant it that way, this would still be part of a general social trend towards erasure. It's not some innocent, abstract concern about naming things that don't need a name. No, because bisexuality has a name. And it's dismissed and suppressed because people are uncomfortable. Even bisexual or otherwise queer people. And, you know, that's not OK. That's prejudice.

Anyway, I will admit that a lot of times it's awkward. A lot of people genuinely aren't comfortable with overly concrete things or into self-reflection. That's a personality quirk I'm definitely aware of. There are certainly well-meaning people with that personality quirk. There are other writers like Maggie Stiefvater, who wrote LGBT books with sympathetic and genuinely realistic portrayals of characters who're truly unlikely to use the word 'gay' at a certain point in time, let alone jumping straight to declaring themselves bisexual. However, these writers, no matter how well-meaning and realistic, are also being privileged by the people in power in society who're uncomfortable with queerness in general or bisexuality in particular. And I will also admit that many times, stories that do use labels are very self-conscious or self-important about it, and realistic characterization often suffers. I've seen plenty of explicit bisexual representation that worked for me, but I've only read one novel or fic with a believably self-aware demisexual character (Santino Hassell's Concourse). It's hard to do well, and I don't think it's always necessary; the Raven Cycle is a good example of a series that worked great without any labels.

I just think it's worthwhile to make that effort more often, that's all. I'm not a person that's particularly political about it, or insistent about seeing a certain kind of 'representation' by far. Still, how Stefan feels does have a name. Stefan is absolutely a bi demisexual. He's not the only one like that. In fact, he's a lot like me. And well, it'd be nice to have that acknowledged in the story. It would be nice to go all the way with bi and ace representation sometimes.

[sinnamonsam]

get to know me!!!! no. 2

i did this a lil while back but @stars-are-gay just tagged me in it ((thats my best friend!!!! go follow her!!!! she real gay n loves pups and space)) 
Name: Ryan (my pen name, not my real name. also she/her)

Nickname: oh dear far too many. some are just shortened versions of my name, others are just strange things people have come up with that for some reason i respond to

Zodiac sign: Scorpio pls dont hate me

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw again pls dont hate me

Height: 5'8"

Orientation: bi as fuck

Ethnicity: South Asian

Favourite fruit: pineapple or watermelon

Favourite season: oh goodness i really dont know.. i love how cozy and warm (emotionally, not in terms of temperature) fall and winter are and i love love love the holidays but recently ive really been feelin the whole like sunshine!!! flowers!!!! summer!!!! spring child!! vibe so i really cant pick

Favourite book series: i dont think ive read an actual series since middle school.. but when i was in like elementary school i loved PJO

Favourite fictional characters: Sam Winchester, Lorelei Gilmore, Castiel my bby, Titus Andromedon, so many others that i cant remember rn

Favourite Flower: oh my so many.. i like hyacinths and daisies and hydrangeas. Carnations and chrysanthemums are really pretty too. Texas Bluebells are gorgeous. Zinnias and violets and tulips are all really nice too. Baby’s Breath is really fun and easy for arrangements. Ooh and sweet peas!!!! ok im just gonna stop i like flowers too much. WAIT i really like roses that arent red/pink like the orange and yellow ones or the funky ones that are like blue or purple or some crazy shit yeah those are nice ok i’m done

Favourite scents: bonfires, apple pie/cinnamon apples, fresh apples, nice shampoo/soap, paan, the combined smell of like chlorine on ur skin and campfire smoke in ur hair idk it smells like summer to me

Favourite colours: Purple but honestly all colors i love them all so much

Favourite animals: dogs!!! and orcas.

Favourite band/artist: gotta love Hayley Kiyoko and Troye Sivan. AC/DC and Zeppelin. All Time Low and Fall Out Boy have somehow stuck with me. Alessia Cara!!!!! Idk much of her stuff except whats popular but i just i love her

Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa: Tea for sure. I’m brown, so chai. I’m southern, so sweet tea. just love tea lmao

Average sleep hours: during the school year probably 4-5, during summer probably 7-9ish 
Number of blankets I sleep with: one sheet and one blanket.

Dream trip: K (( @stars-are-gay )) and I’s route 66 trip that’ll hopefully actually happen at some point fingers crossed!!!! also greece and italy

Last thing I googled: restless leg syndrome lmao

Blog created: I wanna say early 2014?? I made my first tumblr account in like 2011 tho

How many blogs I follow: 1070

Number of followers: 579

What do I usually post: spn stuff, gay stuff, shitposts, science/history stuff, pretty stuff. whatever looks cool or makes me laugh or intrigues me. my blogs a mess she’s all over the place

Do I get asks regularly: on occasion, but i wouldn’t say regularly. anons are even less often. i’d love to talk to yall tho pls ask me stuff/send me stuff/just say hi!!! I promise im not Death himself

i’ll tag @disorderdean @agent-jemma @britneyshakespeare @barkpellegrino @kittyscribble and all my other mutuals i dont wanna tag all yall and then forget someone but yes all of u pls do the thing