#actually been able to record the process so like...dope

[vex03]

any life updates? we miss hearing your rambles!!

my brain has been a little quiet,, sorry darlin

it’s a good thing i think!! not a lot of spiraling to process and therefore not much to write about. but at the same time nothing astoundingly life changing or deeply meaningful has been going on either. honestly, that’s my own fault. need to start living with more intention, like intentionally looking for beauty and love in things and intentionally recording it to hold close forever and look back on when i feel… like i do right now.

it’s finally cold in texas tho!! the heater is overwhelming me and i’m melting. in a way i feel trapped. i want to lie outside in the grass and look at the stars but alas. toooooo cold. the moon was really big in the sky this morning. got tim hortons with flori. that was all dope.

trying to figure out how to stop picking at my skin. there’s something symbolic there but i haven’t quite been able to put my finger on it… unfortunately i’ve been very able to put my fingers on my face and absolutely obliterate my skin. fml

i saw nosferatu a few days ago with larry!! love watching movies with that guy and then using our very baseline knowledge of film and directing and editing and lighting and composition and whateverthefuck to break shit down. it’s like getting to work out an artistic set of muscles that you haven’t exercised in months and realizing it actually feels awesome to move around

speaking of exercise i am actually losing my mind in that regard. i’m not allowed to do like ANYTHING that gets my heart rate too high. like at all. so fucking annoying. im literally craving running down my street at the fastest speed i can possibly manage until i feel blood in my mouth. fortunately i have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow,,, fingers crossed ill be allowed to frolic once more

oh also i started with fanfix and that’s been fun

aaaaaaaaaaand that’s all :3

e

[musicarenagh]

B-MACK Speaks: New Music, Creative Processes, and Future Plans Hey boys, guess what… I had an opportunity to speak to the one and only Bruce Mack, the B-MACK!This male individual is really versatile and has multiple gifts or skills. I was happy to be able to talk to him after he released his latest funky tune “Duckgrease Burning at The Crabhouse. “ In this particular convo, Bruce was very much willing to share the meaning of his song as well as the creative process in this new track. As you would ask, it is a straight vibe!B-MACK distinctive vocal section complement each other so well with the soulful recording by MsLarayne. It is this soulful mix of funk, rhythm and blues that you will be dancing to. However, Bruce is not only a dope composer combined with the lead vocalist but a total maestro when it comes to sound production. With this attitude, he masterfully incorporates hip-hop, funk, soul, and R&B steadily into the album. It has been like that since B-MACK and his crew Michael cox on bass, Ben tyree on guitar, chris Eddleton on the drums, Leon gruenbaum on keys since their formation in the year 2017. They primarily take influence from greats such as Funkadelic and the late Charles Bradley. Bruce shared with me more about his whole journey into the world of creativity – starting from the young man who first witnessed the musical revolutions in Harlem and the Bronx and up to the present-day home studio experimenting in Staten Island. He is not only an amazing singer, his story is equally interesting, for real!You have to come with me to enter the fantastic world of B-MACK!Let's goooo! Listen to ‘Duckgrease Burning at The Crabhouse’ below https://open.spotify.com/track/3EqJNaVj6lUpURU62thKUM?go=1&sp_cid=bd24a14b968c0f6b344048ee4e7aabff&intent=addToLibrary&utm_source=embed_player_v&utm_medium=desktop&nd=1&dlsi=fa4c4ed776284865 Follow B-MACK on Facebook Twitter Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube Instagram Tiktok   What is your stage name B-MACK Is there a story behind your stage name? It’s actually the short version of my name (Bruce Mack) that became a nickname started by the late Greg Tate - founder of the band Burnt Sugar the Arkestra Chamber, which I’m also a contributing member of. I’ve always liked the sound of “B-MACK” as it feels simultaneously strong and joyful when I hear it. All the other band members followed suit, affectionately referring to me as B-Mack, so when I put the press release together for the recent singles I decided to relinquish using my full name and call the whole band “B-MACK”. It is more inclusive of the players as they contribute to the sound that is based around my songwriting & voice. Did it with all caps because the name is unpredictable as are the songs and I’m a big dude. Where do you find inspiration? I find inspiration in the observation of nature. I love camping, hiking and while doing so, I gaze at nature’ often making comparions to or how it applies itself to urban life. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? In my early years (1960’s-70’s), music was like a moderator for everything I witnessed going on in my neighborhoods (Harlem & the Bronx) and around the world such as the heroin epidemic, corrupt police, racism, Vietnam war, the assasinations of the Kennedy’s, Malcolm X, and MLK. Music provided a language that helped me understand it all and was therapuetic in learning that an artist could speak, sing and/or play out their social awareness. Are you from a musical or artistic family? I guess to some extent we were… there were six of us, four girls and two boys. The oldest - Emmajane has passed on leaving 3 older sibling - Florence, Delores, Walter and younger sister Lydia, all talented. Emma was a hair & make-up stylist, Delores & Florence could replicate and resize images from magazine onto a wall via drawing or painting. Walter loved singing as he does to this day in church and I often imitated him when he babysat me. But aside from Emma who had a career as a hairstylist, they never pursued careers in the arts.

Youngest sibling Lydia is a wonderful singer and went to Fiorello H. LaGuardia School of Performing Arts in New York City to do so. I always felt she was “the real deal” and remember being so impressed by her making it into that school, it is probably the most well respected performimng arts high school in NYC. She actually did pursue a career in music and invited to sing in one of her groups for a short period, but life as it can do took her in a different direction. But she did teach one of her daughters to sing and that happens to be LaRayne aka MsLaRayne who is featured on the bridge of Duckgreaser… I went to DeWitt Clinton H.S. at that time, a bit of a scatter-brain and torn between sports and music. But the vapors from my early love of music kept flowing around me… Our mother, Sallie Catherine Mack loved the performing arts, particularly dance and music, and in my formative years she always set aside time to address curiosities about what and who Lydia and I were listening to. I was a bit more curious being 3yrs older, so ‘Ma (as I called her) would tell me who the artist were and introduced me to who they were inspired by. That knowledge became important to my development in the business of music in later years and as an educator. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? Well, when you say “music industry” I think of the creative side as well as the business side… creatively I would say Sly&The Family Stone, business-wise I would say Tommy Boy Records. Tommy Boy was an independent record label based in NYC that made me feel empowered to create my own path to expose my writing and performing skills, which I eventually did with my good friend Kenneth A. Edmonds when we formed our own indie record labe Attic Sounds, in the mid-eighties, releasing an extended-length double-sided single ‘Chemical Pollution’ b/w ‘You Got Me’ with our band (the original) PBR Streetgang. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? I was inspired to sing by listening to recordings of Lambert Hendrix & Ross, King Pleasure, Betty Carter and other greats. I learned to sing by mimicking horn solos on James Brown recordings that featured Maceo Parker and Fred Wesley. After high school, I took voice lessons at the JazzMobile Workshop and then studdied classical voice in college. Writing came naturally to me because I connected it to abstract painting, which allowed me to put words&thoughts together in unconventional ways. This worked well for me being someone not well-read or knowledgeable with figures of speach, yet I’ve always been socially aware, historically informed, romantic with nature and empathetic. I’m also a student of Sly Stone, Joni Mitchell and Brenda Russell. I play several instruments… piano, electric bass, drumset and various percussion all self-taught. I generally acquired those skills when I would pick up an instrument attempting to create an ostinato or rhythm pattern because it would at least sound or feel like I had some ability. If it felt easy to be creative on, I would continue with it. I played around with piano and synths quite a bit because aside from it being great accompaniment with my voice, I could also convey feeling and/or the rhythm I wanted other players to capture. [caption id="attachment_55619" align="alignnone" width="2000"] I learned to sing by mimicking horn solos on James Brown recordings that featured Maceo Parker and Fred Wesley.[/caption] What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? The P-Funk Earth Tour, 1976 at Madison Square Garden. The headliner was Parliament-Funkadelic with opening act Booty’s Rubber Band. How could you describe your music? Quirky original songs fused with an eclectic blend of edgy funk and rock. Describe your creative process. My creative process is more like a short manual of approaches. One approach very personal to me often starts with the rhythm of a melodic or lyrical phrase in my head that I’ve been repeatedly singing for days,

sometimes months at a time before dropping it on a rhythm track with chord changes in Logic Pro or GarageBand. Then I will start to layer it with other sounds or instruments I am hearing. Sometimes the ideas come to me as complete arrangements and or lyrics all at once! Which is fun because I then open up the recording software and work feverishly to capture the idea and feeling. This was the case with Duckgrease Burning at The Crabhouse. Another favorite approach is jamming or collaborating live with other musicians… I’ll bring a notepad of lyrics, and as we establish grooves we like…I’ll attempt to see which what lyrics or poem might fit, then I record the session with a handheld stereo (in case the idea is sonically sound and salvageable) device, take it home, drop it into one of the DAWs (digital audio workstation) and begin experimenting, doubling instruments, adding keys, vocals, etc.. What is your main inspiration? Nature. What musician do you admire most and why? Guitarist/composer/producer Vernon Reid. Because of his ability to instigate exploration and experimentation in any genre of music. To be that is beyond self-gratification because it is inclusive of all musicians involved in projects he is at the helm of or as a side contributor. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? Although my style has always centered around funk, it has evolved in that I now incorporate elements, concepts and genres of Afro-Caribbean, West Africa, South America and electronica. Who do you see as your main competitor? That’s an interesting and excellent question. I haven’t given it much thought, but if the late great Charles Bradley (R.I.P.) were alive… I would consider him my competition because of our closeness in vocal range, tone, how we apply our voices to song, similarity in genres and band instrumentation. Although his palette of meloncholy was much deeper. So who’s left? Hmmm…. I’ll have to say this fantastic artist based here in NYC called Blak Emoji. What are your interests outside of music? Cooking, hiking, camping, I love the outdoors! If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? I think I would be a forest ranger or something in that field - no pun intended. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? Although I have changed, it was my fear of trusting and giving 100% of myself to the music. Doing other jobs to earn money caused me to waste energy, which resulted in a lack of discipline to practice, which in turn made it stressful for me to work as a sideman because I had to put so much more in with short periods of time to get the music together for whatever gig I was on. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? Increase the royalty fees paid to artist by streaming platforms. https://open.spotify.com/artist/4laJvxjPZv91uVjkRj3bbf Why did you choose this as the title of this project? During the fall of 2023, I was cooking, testing different spices and temperatures to use for cooking Duck breast and rendering duck fat aka duck confit aka duckgrease, and found in all cases it came out well and was easy to do. So after a few bites, a couple glasses of wine, and some solo dancing in the kitchen… I started using the term “duckgrease” as a metaphor for making it easy to have a good time. I was having a moment and such a good time, It made me forget my woes and the state our country is in… Then I began to imagine there being a place for everyone to go enjoy themselves as well and sat down to write this mini tale of a fictitious getaway. Pure escapism. That’s why I called this project “Duckgrease Burning at The Crabhouse! What are your plans for the coming months? Plans for the coming months include recording new songs to combine with previous releases for a full length album that will include vinyl & CDs. The release of a concept video for Silent Witness, booking B-MACK band in venues, and get to the woods! Oh and one small thing… Come

August 9th & 10, I will be performing several songs with and conducting Burnt Sugar the Arkestra Chamber at Lincoln Center in a concert tribute to Melvin Van Peebles, directed by his son & film director Mario Van Peebles. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans Yes, producer Michael Cox and I are planning to do an album of electronica dance music with various singers and featured instrumentalists. Also looking forward to recording a duet with NYC Blues Hall of Fame bassist Pete Cummings in early summer. What message would you like to give to your fans? Thank you for indulging my work with your continuous support, and to keep yourself and children creative and uplifted with positivity during these complex times. When we all get pass the madness, there will be banana pudding waiting for us at the ‘Crabhouse! One Love.

[boyybites]

lichrally just tryna see if I can like...make a pony vtuber model work

[mrwinterr]

Over & Over

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Pornstar!Female Reader

Summary: You’re an up-and-coming adult film star secretly eager to work with the popular Bucky Barnes, and with just the right connections, your paths cross much sooner than later.

Warnings: Adult themes. Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration and instructional fingering, oral [male & female receiving], size kink, spit & cum play, a smudge of male dominance), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: I don’t know how the porn industry works; this was just written for fun.

Title Inspiration: “Over & Over” by Smallpools

A/N: After doping up on strong painkillers wasn’t enough, I thought releasing endorphins would help ease my headache, so once again watching porn inspired another fic. Idk. I’m a mess. Enjoy!

Slipping on your oversized sunglasses, you walk along the rectangular outline of the hotel’s lavish pool, to one of the vacant lounge chairs next to the redheaded goddess, whose wings you were taken under and could gratefully call a close friend. You hadn’t known a single soul when you packed up and moved west to Los Angeles at 18, but you knew you were destined for more than what your humdrum life back at home could offer.

The porn industry wasn’t your first choice at a career in entertainment, but the starving profession wasn’t paying the bills fast enough. You weren’t going to survive in L.A. another year juggling to pay for tuition and stay enrolled in acting school from the income of working menial jobs and booking small gigs. However, one minor role as an extra in a one-night stand sex scene of a TV show, you catch the eye of the multitalented adult film actress Natasha Romanoff.

It was pure coincidence she was also casted, playing a bigger role, of the same episode, but she saw more in you in your less than 15 seconds of fame than most casting agents did before offering you a chance to shadow her. You knew she looked familiar and you were no stranger to watching porn, but when you’re as down on your luck as you were, you went all in and soon enough countless scenes now under your belt within a year, you’re porn’s best female newcomer.

“There’s this year’s Best New Starlet!” Natasha proclaims loudly for almost everyone around to hear.

Lucky for you, the shades conceal the roll of your eyes at her comment as you kick off your flip-flops and remove the thin cover up to reveal your skimpy bikini. You dare look over at her in time to catch her mocking reaction, jaw dropped from your attitude.

“After all I’ve done for you,” she says, placing a hand to her heart, feigning hurt.

The pair of you laugh at your nonsense and after she helps you with applying the appropriate amount of sun care protection, you recline in your seats and attempt to soak up some sun. It was a much-needed break with the long stressful week of the award show now behind everyone. Your hard work had paid off and after all you did learn from the best.

Your predecessor before you, Natasha was also a former Best New Starlet, and now is a household name in pornography. She didn’t welcome a lot of people into her inner circle, but she had plans to one day direct and knew she had to find the next big thing before anyone else to take her place.

“Hello, ladies,” comes from the voice of this year’s Director of the Year and other close friend Wanda Maximoff.

“Hey Wanda,” you greet her by sitting up to give her a proper hug.

You met her through her twin brother, Pietro, who happened to be your first co-star and was very welcoming and caring to you. The twins took care of you during your first few months starting out. Much like Natasha did for you, you help her administer the same amount of sunscreen on her body.

“Congrats on your achievement,” she says wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder at you as you finish up on her back, and even under the heat of the sun, she could still see the blush creep up on your face.

“She’s a natural, isn’t she?” Natasha comments casually, to which Wanda nods enthusiastically, only speeding up the process of the rose tints on your cheeks to spread all over your face. They were your biggest fans and supporters; you were so happy you could make them proud.

“I owe it all to the queen herself,” you say, downplaying your achievement and turning the attention to your mentor in Natasha. She scoffs at that and teases you about just taking the damn compliment. You put in the work; it was all you.

“Seriously, you deserved it,” Wanda says honestly, and you finally accept the praise.

“So, what’s next for miss Director of the Year?” Natasha asks leaning on a propped elbow, body facing towards you and Wanda.

“Well, I managed to finally book Bucky Barnes in an upcoming project…” she starts out, but the moment you heard his name slip from her lips, the rest almost didn’t matter.

Bucky Barnes was somewhat of a legend. There wasn’t a model or director that didn’t want to work with him. The man was downright gifted in every aspect and his work speaks for itself. Before you broke onto the scene, you’d gotten off to his videos, and only dreamed of one day starring in a scene with him, but you were still new to this world.

As a promising star, you had a long way to go and tons of plots, positions and people to still experience, so landing a role with someone like Bucky Barnes wasn’t entirely written in your plans any time soon. Then again, your first girl-on-girl scene was with your mentor herself, so anything could happen, right?

“I just haven’t found my girl yet,” was the next thing you pick up Wanda say the moment your head comes back from the clouds, “...I have all this momentum now that I want this to blow everyone away, especially Stark.”

Tony Stark was her rival. It was a friendly competition amongst friends. You hadn’t gotten the chance to work for him yet. He was a playful character and had directed some of the best adult films out there, Wanda just happened to be the better of the two this year…

“Sorry, I’m retired,” Natasha reminds her and repositions herself on her back.

“Fuck you,” Wanda says playfully to which Natasha responds with a finger in the air before she clarifies, “I was hinting at this year’s Best New Starlet…” and slyly looking in your directly.

“Me?” You ask incredulously. Your head can’t even start processing that you’re finally getting the opportunity to work with Bucky.

Wanda rolls her eyes at your obliviousness, “no, last year’s Best New Starlet. Hell no! Of course, you!” You respond in the same manner as your mentor, who is more than amused at you also following her lead, and flip Wanda off. Wanda snatches your hand to bring it away from her face, “I’m serious!”

“I-I don’t know, Wan,” a part of you is a little scared that you’re not going to be able to keep up with someone as established and with the star power as Bucky, “...like you said, you have all this momentum behind you. I don’t want to fuck this scene up because I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Natasha pipes up on the other side of you. “This is the perfect role for you!” She sees the questionable look on your face and sighs before explaining. “You’re a fresh face and rising star! People are lining up to book you, Stark included.”

“Nat is right. You’re a hot commodity now! I need someone who is a little inexperienced to mix with someone that is,” Wanda further explains her premise, “let him take the lead, but at your pace. I need it to be raw and passionate. People love that shit!” They were right, he had all the experience, and you were a fresh loveable face. It was the perfect combination.

You remain quiet for several seconds before Natasha rats you out, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t want to work with Barnes. This is your fantasy come to life.” Way to throw you under the bus like that…

There’s no denying your goal to work with him. He’d been in this business much longer than you had, you didn’t think your paths would ever cross on a set, but the opportunity couldn’t have presented itself in a more perfect point in your career.

The room is very pristine. White walls with a king size bed, also adorned in white sheets, fluffy pillows scattered at the top, minimal furniture around to make it look realistic, and the lighting was just right. Wanda had received a hefty budget after her recognition that’s for sure.

“Alright, girly, let’s get you on the bed!” Wanda happily directs.

You nod silently, remove your footwear and plop down on the center of the large mattress. You decide to leave your legs sprawled on one side of your body, settling on a bashful position. It’s not hard for you because although you agreed to do this and have done several scenes, internally, you’re freaking the fuck out. Unbeknownst to you, it’s all part of your charm; the innocence you somehow still radiated was an all too endearing quality and actually sexy.

Even your attire was pretty modest, opting for a more casual look with black leggings and a tight long sleeve that accentuates your figure and shows off the right amount of cleavage. It was something that you could easily wear out in public, which again was a part of your brand in being as natural as possible, but come the right circumstances, when it was time to roll you could turn on the right switch.

“We’ll start off like a typical casting interview before we bring Bucky in and then we’ll go from there. Sounds good?” She runs down the plan with you, fixing a few strands of flyaway hairs on your head before back away from the bed. With a thumbs up and a smile from you, she starts recording.

“Welcome, Best New Starlet of the Year!” Wanda greets from behind the camera.

“Hi,” you politely reply with your signature sweet smile and a wave to the screen.

These scenes start off with a small interview recounting your tale into the porn industry leading up to your recent achievement and even delving a bit into your personal life before the topic changes to your co-star.

“So, how excited are you to work with Bucky today?”

No matter how hard you practiced at keeping a straight poker face, that was something you were unable to master from Natasha, and the blush couldn’t be contained.

Fidgeting at the hem of your top, you open and close your mouth, trying to find the right words. You’re overly flustered at the thought of Bucky and he wasn’t even in front of you yet. You don’t want to sound like a fool and ruin the atmosphere. Wanda mouths words of advice from where she sat in the director’s chair, “be honest.”

“Um, I’m...nervous,” you say truthfully.

“Nervous?” She questions, urging you to elaborate.

“Yeah, he’s Bucky Barnes! He’s hot and he’s got so much experience. I’m kind of scared I’ll be boring,” you finish explaining and hope to God that Natasha doesn’t kill you afterwards, or with that answer let Wanda down, but the smile on her face sends you a wave of assurance.

Maybe you could do this...

Earlier that day, Bucky had already recorded his little opening scene. Wanda had called him to report on set before you were scheduled to arrive.

On the contrary, Bucky was also a tab bit anxious to work with you. He’d seen some of your work and more so heard about your talent from his own best friend, Steve Rogers.

He didn’t deny it, he was very much attracted to you and he wanted a chance to work with you too. Bucky wasn’t a jealous person, which made working in the porn industry easy for him, but when he had to hear Steve recount his scenes with you, he couldn’t help but want to sock his own childhood friend. He didn’t of course, but the rage was evident and his other friend, Sam Wilson, took some sick pleasure in teasing him over it. In fact, the eccentric personality of the trio of friends, decided to tag along with Bucky to introduce himself to you and get under his skin a little more.

“What’s going on in that nasty head of yours?” Sam poked at Bucky as they made their way over to Wanda, who was by the camera setup going over a script with another stagehand. When Bucky doesn’t respond, it provokes Sam even more, “no way, you’re nervous!”

Bucky sighs fed up with dealing with the anxiety brewing ever since he found out he was going to star in this film with you. “Shut the fuck up, will you? Of course, I’m nervous,” he says, trying to remain calm.

“Dude, you’ve slept with some of the hottest people in the world and millions of people have seen you naked. Why is one girl any different?” Sam wonders.

“I don’t know, ok. She just seems so down-to-earth and normal?” Bucky attempts to explain. You were real. His work was just that, it was a work, and he was afraid that it would be different with you. He could say he was almost intimidated by you.

“Yeah, as if I don’t have to hear that enough from Rogers…” Sam chimed in. Steve had nothing but high praise for your performance. In fact, his testimony helped expose you a little further. He was an honorable performer and a respected one, so they took his word on you. “Maybe, I’ll be her next co-star,” and just like that Sam ruined a moment.

“God, I hate you,” was the last thing exchanged between the two friends as they finally reached Wanda. She warned Sam to behave and gave Bucky a quick rundown before instructing him to hop on the bed.

Bucky’s interview starts a little differently than yours. Having already been a more established performer than yourself, no one needed his background story. The only thing Wanda wanted out of him was his plans and opinion on you.

“Well, I don’t know too much about her, personally speaking...but everyone seems to love her,” Bucky’s answer was a bit bland for Wanda.

“She’s a great person to work with,” she comments and that’s a tactic most directors used to get talent to keep talking.

“That’s what Steve keeps saying,” he says with somewhat of an awkward light laugh. He could see Sam facepalming next to Wanda at that lame answer.

“Yeah, you don’t win best female newcomer for nothing,” Wanda points out. If anyone was the lucky one here, it was Bucky. He was climbing up in age and you were the next big thing. You were the real star of this film not Bucky. She was counting more on you to deliver than him.

“That’s right. She’s a very talented performer,” Bucky says, and this small comment opens up a can of worms for Wanda to build up on.

“Oh, so you’ve seen some of her work?” Bam! He was caught.

Bucky’s mouth starts twitching slightly and Wanda and Sam are smirking from their spots as they watch the gears in Bucky’s mind start turning faster trying to think of something. The only piece of advice Wanda gives is “be honest.”

He sighs, the jig was up. Smooth Bucky Barnes was caught red-handed, “yeah, I’ve watched some scenes. I’ve seen her in person a few times too…”

“Wait,” Wanda interrupts him abruptly. She knew you were attracted to Bucky, but never knew of any encounters between you two, “when did you meet her?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky starts, which causes a look of mass confusion on Wanda’s face before he follows up, “formally. I haven’t met her formally, but I’ve seen her at a few parties and at the award show...I was just nervous to walk up to her,” the words just kept flowing out of his mouth and he inwardly cringed at how awkward he might’ve sounded.

Sam was amused by his embarrassment, but Wanda was pleased with this result. Bucky was good at what he did and that included him trying to play it cool, which he did well on screen, sometimes.

“You know she was actually thrilled to find out she would be working with you,” Wanda said, stretching the truth. The truth was, you hadn’t verbally confessed that, at least not yet.

“Really?” Bucky asks all too hopeful, his mood noticeably perking up.

“Yup! Ever since she won Best New Starlet of the Year, people have been lining up to book her, but she chose this project. You were the deal breaker, Barnes,” she fabricated and hoped this all worked out for you two in the end.

“Wow, who would’ve thought this has-been still had it in him?” He jokes at himself. His humility would get the best of him in every situation.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! You didn’t win Best Male Performer of the Year again for nothing!” Wanda says and then steers the interview to a close.

After wrapping up Bucky’s scene, he’s allowed to stay in another room with a monitor. At first, he thinks it’s to help him prep for the scene, but to his surprise it’s a live feed of your interview and he starts clinging onto your every word. Enthralled by your journey, work ethic and he gets flustered all over again hearing you talk about your equal eagerness to work with him.

“You know, if anyone is the lucky one in this situation, it’s Barnes,” Wanda reminds as your interview comes to an end.

“Right,” you sarcastically remark.

“Are you ready for us to bring Bucky in?” She asks.

“It’s now or never,” you reply. 

You watch the doorknob twist and the door open to slowly reveal Bucky. Where do you even start with him? He just looked like the total package. His gaze immediately on yours. As he makes his way towards the bed you’re still sitting on, when his knee comes in contact to the edge, you maneuver your body in his direction, sit up on your knees to meet him halfway and welcome him in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says when you pull apart. The both of you don’t break away completely. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck, his hands placed just above your waist, you can feel his fingers that slipped under the fabric rub your skin.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you respond, giving him a genuine smile and can’t help but stare at his pretty face. You had to remind yourself he’s just another guy, except he wasn’t. You didn’t know how he felt, but you wanted this, wanted him. You also don’t know if you’ll ever work him again after today, so he was going to get the real you.

A small, subtle clearing of someone’s throat shatters the staring contest between you and Bucky causing you both to sheepishly break away from the other, not realizing you’d both allowed dreaded dead airtime to pass by. You scoot over to make room for him next to you on the bed. After he pulls his footwear off, he sits cross legged in front of you, you have one leg tucked in and the other extended in front.

Bucky’s not entirely oblivious. He not only witnessed you backstage reveal you were actually nervous to work with him, he could feel it, so at an attempt to help ease both your nerves, he places a hand on your shin and absentmindedly run his hand up and down the fabric, fingers sometimes stopping to mess with the cuff of your leggings and at the skin of your ankle, while he listened to you speak.

He congratulated you on your achievement as you did with him, both a blushing mess before diving into different topics like traveling and other interests.

Wanda stood proudly behind the camera watching the scene unfold. Everything was so candid and real between you and Bucky, the chemistry was clearly evident, she didn’t foresee there would be much directing on her part today, which was going to make her job easy.

“Wanda said you were excited to work with me,” Bucky teases, wanting to see if what you said was just for the cameras or if it was really true, but also, he found out he liked to see you get all hot and bothered in more than one way.

Your jaw drops and you look directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall, calling out to Wanda. You playfully chastise and curse at her for revealing your secret. She tells you it was going to come out anyways, and while that was true, you’d hoped it was later and much after you’ve slept with him, hoping it doesn’t ruin the shoot, but Bucky assures you that it’s actually a flattering to hear or in his words, “assuring” for someone like him.

“Are you kidding?” You say, lightly shoving him back, “you’re like a legend! Of course, I was excited! I’m surprised you agreed to work with a rookie like me!” Now that the cat was out of the bag, you might as well own up to your secret.

“Everyone wants to work with you,” he makes clear, leaning in closer. Fuck, he didn’t even need to initiate foreplay because with the way he was looking at you right now, you could come swear you’d come undone for him in an instant.

“Oh really?” You challenge, your body gravitating like a magnet towards his.

“Yup, Steve wouldn’t shut up about you and even Sam said he can’t wait to someday work with you,” he said, voice slowly dropping in decibels and his hands sliding up your thighs.

“Did he?” You ask, but you don’t really care about Sam as your eyes look dead into Bucky’s blue ones, swirling into a darker shade full of deep want and desire.

“Yeah, but let’s see if he still wants to try to outdo me after I’m done with you,” he whispers, finally closing the gap between your lips in a sweet kiss. It was about as sweet as it could last because after just one taste of your lips, he was a starved man, hungry for more. You tried your best to match his pace and the kiss turned sloppy very quick.

You moaned at the pressure of his lips pressed roughly against yours, and you do your best to keep up, but you’re already finding yourself short of breath. However, the more you try to pull back to regain some oxygen, the more he’s unwilling to part as he grasps your face in both hands to keep you still, so you lightly squeeze at his biceps as a warning in hope he gets the message.

Lucky for you, he does and lets up. He’s also noticeably breathless, his warm breath fanning against your kiss-swollen lips, his forehead resting against yours. Bucky’s hands are still on your face.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and you let out a small chuckle at the sincerity. He was cute.

You take his hands in yours and bring them back down to begin undressing him starting by helping him slip his shirt over his head, the fashionable dog tags around his neck clank as it slaps against his toned chest, you let him keep them on though.

Bucky sits up on his knees as he watches you settle on your stomach, propped up by your elbows, hands getting ready to work on his lower half. He patiently watches as you unbuckle his belt, pop the button of his jeans off, and drag the zipper down.

With his pants hanging loose off his hips, you begin to plant soft kisses along his navel down the defined lines that lead to his cock. Each contact of your lips sends a ghostly tingle and the blood to rush even quicker down his lower region. The imprint of his endowed member doesn’t leave much to your imagination, you can already see the stain where the tip is through his tight boxer briefs. It gives you a little boost of confidence knowing you’d caused this and would get to take care of it.

You hook your fingers into the undergarment and tug them down his muscular thighs. His cock springs out, almost hitting you in the face causing you to jolt back a little and a smile to spread across Bucky’s.

Your clumsiness was also a part of your charm. It wasn’t on purpose, you were still learning after all, and that’s what made it so unique and fun to work with you. Your partners just felt a real, genuine connection, citing it felt less choreographed and of a porno with you.

A little embarrassed about that move, you’d watched what he can do with that cock, but nothing could’ve prepared you for it face-to-face. You don’t waste any time on getting your hands on him and wrap your fingers around his half-hard cock and start pumping him sensually.

He’s hot and soft in your hands before getting gradually heavy. The look in your eyes grows more predatory as you watch him grow and feel him getting harder with each pump causing more and more pre-cum to ooze out. You spread it all over the head of his cock with your thumb then daring to look up at him, hoping he was indeed enjoying your work, before you pucker your lips and kiss at the crown. Bucky curses when he sees your lips shining, coated in his pre-cum, with a string connecting you to his cock.

You gather the fluid up in your hand before spreading it all over his length, when it’s not enough you start not only pumping him faster, but also licking up and down, from the base to the tip, hoping to effectively slick him up. The way your tongue scrapes along over Bucky’s sensitive flesh stirs him up. Your other hand joins in to fondle with his neglected balls, massaging and pulling at them in the right moments, sometimes you travel a little south and take them in your mouth. It all but drives Bucky wild and it’s confirmed with each swear that leaves his mouth.

Bucky wants nothing more than to lodge himself deep in your throat, but he remembers he needs to go at your pace, and once you’re broken in a little more, you could follow his, so he’ll bide his time for now and watch you work.

When you’re ready to take him in, you regain his attention and he watches you slowly take in his inches down your mouth, stopping halfway before your wide-open mouth hollows out. Your full mouth immediately waters around him and it doesn’t take long before you’re a drooling mess all over his cock. You pull back torturously slow, looking back down watching his cock reappear and loving the way it disappears back in, and especially how it feels when it drags through your mouth, taking note of the veins and unique ridges.

“Don’t be like that, doll,” he says, wiping some of the hair away from your face, “come on and show me why they don’t stop talking about you,” he coaxes, now gathering some of your locks in his hand to completely give you both a clear view. He tries his best to not take the lead, but you don’t disappoint as your mouth works faster on him. The gagging and sucking, mixed with Bucky’s moans of pleasure soon become the soundtrack.

You’d gradually take him more and more in, close to deep throating him, and you’re just ready to let up, but he can’t help it and before your last round, he holds your head in place.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he encourages you, placing his other hand on the back of your head, keeping you still and carefully starts to thrust his hips, urging you to take him all the way, “...that’s it, you can do it, you can take it,” he releases a big sigh feeling the tip of your nose bump his lower abdomen. The moisture builds up in the inner corner of your eyes and you do your best to mind your breathing and not choke.

“Fuck!” He can’t help but shout when he feels your throat contract around him. You just looked so divine, mouth full of his cock. He keeps you there for a few seconds, before releasing his hold, and you immediately pull back, drool dribbles down your chin, and you’re desperate for oxygen to return back into your system. He grabs your face by your chin forcing you to look up at him.

He uses his fingers to scoop up some of the mixed fluids of his arousal and your saliva at your chin before presenting it in front of you. You easily read his mind, look up at him with big, watery eyes, and take his coated digits in your abused mouth sucking the juices clean off him. 

He growls and commends you, “...such a good girl.” When he slips his fingers out of your mouth, a small pop could faintly be heard, he gently yanks at your hair, craning your head back further, it’s almost painful but you don’t care, “do it again,” he demands.

You bite your lip and reposition yourself. Bucky settles in a more comfortable position on his back, completely rid of his pants and underwear, his legs spread open for you to lie between them. Before you get back to the job, you slip your tight top off, all-natural breasts spilling out and on display for him. His cock twitches at the sight and he lets his head fall back when he’s once more fully encased in the warm, wet cavern of your mouth.

When he finally starts begging you to let up, you pull back slowly pumping him and watch his every move, the rise of his chest as it heaves from the activity, the way he runs his hands over his face. He’s absolutely stunned by your performance so far.

“On your back,” he says, and you do as he commands, and forget who is supposed to really be in charge. He yanks your leggings and panties all the way down, chucking them behind him somewhere in the corner of the room.

“You’re so sexy,” he compliments, eyes taking in every inch of your naked body, hands getting their fill. His body dips, lips latching onto your breasts, kissing at the skin and sucking on each nipple before they make their way up the juncture of your neck and claim your lips again.

You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, and they part to grant him full access. You barely notice how he takes a hold of one of your hands, he pulls his face away to bring the hand in his grasp up to your face, using your fingers to trace the outline of your lips. You see him inaudibly instruct you to open your mouth, you do as you’re told.

“That’s right get those fingers nice and wet,” he coaxes you to suck on your own digits until he deems you ready for the next move. When he finally does pull your fingers out from your mouth, he extends your arm, ghosting them just over your pussy.

“Play with that clit,” he tells you and you don’t need to be told twice. Your pussy was begging for any kind of attention. You let your wet fingers roll over the bundle of nerves, puffs of breath escape your body as you’re finally attending to your own needs.

Bucky sits back and watches you intently, fascinated by your every move. He instructs you to close your eyes and listen to his voice, instructing you to go slow at first, “does that feel good?” the only reply he gets is a fast nod, “yeah? Make yourself feel good...that’s it,” his words only encourage your fingers to soon work faster, “let me hear how good it feels,” he demands, and you moan and whine like the true pornstar you are, your circular motions speed up, the lewd noises egg him on and soon enough he wants a taste.

“Let me help you out,” and you feel the bed shift a bit, “spread those wet lips for me,” he requests. You use both hands to invite him into your wet, glistening hole. You pick your head up to see his face buried between your thighs, you watch just long enough until each broad lick up and down your pussy sends you close to the edge.

He no longer needs the support of your hands, and they find purchase in his dark, fluffy hair as he starts sucking on your clit and tonguing your folds. At first, you’re doing a good job keeping your legs apart to accommodate him, but it gets harder and harder for them to not clamp around his head, with every nudge the tip of his nose makes at your clit and it doesn’t help your case when he inserts a finger inside you. With a good curl, his finger scratches dangerously close to your sweet spot, causing your legs to start quivering.

The sudden hitch in your breathing catches his attention, and Bucky tests the waters more by digging in deeper and curling in further. He notices the increasing agitation and knows he’s found the trigger.

“Bucky,” you whine, hoping he doesn’t push you over just yet. You want to last longer, and so you reluctantly attempt to scoot back further away, but the sudden strong grip  he has around your leg locks you in place. You pick your head back up and find Bucky’s eyes trained on you. You see the stoic look in his eyes laced with determination. Oh no, he wanted you to come now. You feel a hum from his full mouth, only pushing you further.  

“Don’t hold back,” he says against your pussy, “let go,” and the gruff in his voice, vibrating against you, his thick digits still curled deep inside you, you can’t hold back the floodgates from bursting any longer.

He laps up your arousal as you desperately try to regain composure. He really pulled one out of you, proving he was as every bit good as he put out and you’re not even close to the end of this scene.  

“Come here,” he says, getting back on his knees and pulling you up by your arms so you’re in an up-right sitting position once again, but with Bucky still towering over you, “open up.”

You comply and open your mouth wide, tongue out, not understanding his motive, and you’re met with full surprise when he spits in your mouth, a firm grip on your face, he holds you still.

“Don’t swallow,” he gravely warns. You feel and probably look stupid not knowing what he wants you to do with your mouth open wide and full of his spit mingling with your arousal, just trying to keep it all contained. Bucky was testing your patience and obedience and you passed every test so far. You were just the right amount of submissive, absolutely perfect.

You can feel his hard cock pressing up against your sensitive pussy, it slides up between your folds and the base rests on top of your mound. “Drool it out...on my cock,” he instructs. Oh. He guides your gaze down between your bodies, you purse your lips, and both watch as the liquid cascades down onto his erect member. He uses it to lube himself up before he pushes you down to lie flat on your back.

Bucky slowly but easily slips inside your wet channel but notices your slight struggle. He was big, and he gets it. The way your eyes are tightly shut, hands pulling at the sheets, you struggle to breath and your walls cruelly grip him tight. Normally, he’d just pound away until his partner got used to him, but he didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted you to enjoy feeling him.

He tries to help you relax by rubbing your thighs a little with soothing motions, when they fall limp on either side, he leans down, you feel the cool metal of his dog tags against your heated skin, his weight sort of comforting on yours, and arms entrapping your head. He lovingly calls out your name, and your eyes flutter open, your attention refocusing on him.

“We’ll go at your pace, alright?” he assures you. You curse yourself for allowing your heart to swell at his concern, but you nod giving him permission to move slowly. Your whimpers soon transition into pleasurable moans, the more your body begins to adjust to his.

“Damn, you’re so tight. You’ve never been stretched out like this by anyone before have you?” he dares ask, once he sees it’s a safe playing field once more, his hips moving slow, his cock sliding in and out of you. You attempt at a laugh between your ragged breathing and the intense sensation coursing through you.

“No,” you respond and kiss at his chin, the light stubble pricking your soft lips, “you’re so big.” You feel his cock twitch inside and you want to curse yourself again at the comment that unintentionally riles him up because he was nestled close to your spot again. Fuck, he could reach just the right depth in you.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you don’t want to go slow anymore. Fuck Wanda and this movie, you wanted all of Bucky now, “please fuck me,” you resort to begging. He inwardly growls and his hips start snapping forward, thrusts growing hard and uncalculated. You just lie there and allow him to use your pussy for his pleasure.

Bucky’s movements falter a bit in this position, so he steers both your bodies on their sides, still facing each other, he slings your leg high up over his hips, and resumes his task. His cock glides right back in your pussy and the new angle causes you to yelp and walls to clench around him.

“You feel so good,” his voice riddled with so much lust as he brings your body closer to his with a hand behind, full of your plushest asset. Your head rests on the bicep of his other arm that was underneath it.

Bucky’s expressive eyes ask you if you're close, and the more your walls continue to grip him, he starts begging for you to come with him. “I’m gonna cum,” he warns, giving up and letting you take the rest of the lead.

“Yeah?” you huff out, your fingers digging into the side of his hips, “you want to cum inside me?” You know he does; you can feel and see it written all over him, but you want to just poke at him like he had with you, “I want you to...I want all your cum inside me, Bucky,” and you wanted him to cum hard, deep inside, “fill my tight pussy up, please,” you plead.

With one more jab of his hips, your back arches and head is thrown back, you can’t help but let out a scream as your orgasm rips right through you like it’s never before. Bucky’s body on the other hand caves into yours, feeling almost paralyzed as your tight walls hold him in place and all he can do is bury his face into the sweaty skin of your neck.

His mouth hangs open, a plethora of profanities coming out of him, and he waits for his cock to finish spewing ropes of his hot, thick cum into you. Your walls can’t help but to involuntarily contract in small aftershocks, especially when he’s still coming.

Bucky continues to moan as he does as you hoped, he came hard and deep inside you. When you’ve both finally come down from the high, it’s silent, and even though you’d both long forgotten you were on a set with multiple people watching you two, they were also quiet, completely taken back by the performance.

Incoherent cries come out of each of you, when Bucky agonizingly pulls his cock out. For the most part you’re able to keep him inside, but he’d proven to come so much some of it seeps out and runs down in streak fashion along your thigh, staining the bed sheets.

In your last act, as your gazes meet each other again, your fingers dip inside your soaked cunt and coat them. Hypnotized by you, Bucky watches as you greedily suck off his essence from your digits, and you evoke a small hum in his favor at the taste bursting in your mouth.  

Bucky bites at his bottom lip, trying to not lose it again. When your hand disappears, he tenderly wipes the matted hair away from your face, smoothing your hair back before pulling your body close again, swooping your lips for a deep kiss.

“Shit, you’re good,” he admits, when he pulls away, effectively breaking the blissful silence. You bust out in a fit of giggles beside him and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s not something you’re supposed to feel towards your co-star, especially in the porn industry.    

He smiles at you, basking in your afterglow and all he knows is that he wants to feel this high with you over and over, so he decides to risk it all, “I hope this doesn’t ruin the moment, but can I take you out some time?”

You try your best to read him, wondering if he was just still in the heat of the moment. Either he’s really good or he’s being sincere, you can’t tell and you’re hoping you’re not overthinking it, but his eyes, this whole time, were what gave him away. He performed with them and he definitely spoke through them.

Before you could accept and give him a definite answer, you’re both brought back to reality, “we’re still rolling here!” Wanda reminds.

A/N: Thank the pain meds for this. I think I effectively used up my vacation days the right way, won’t you agree? Likes, reblogs and comments/emojis are appreciated! 

[onestowatch]

For Louyah, One Viral TikTok and His Closest Friends Changed Everything [Q&A]

It's a tale as old as time; through the power of friendship and the internet, Staten Island-born singer-songwriter and producer Louis Attillio Vigorito’s, better known as Louyah, life changed forever. In a car ride with his friends in New Jersey, the artist had the surprise of a lifetime when he realized his friends had secretly worked to get one of his singles, “I Used to Care,” played on the radio.

Eight million views and counting later, the 25-year-old has proven his versatility as an artist and established himself as an impressive rising talent. Raised in South New Jersey, Louyah entered the music scene as a vocalist and guitarist in metal bands Premonition and Idle Minds. After six years as a band member, he took the plunge and launched his solo career. Rather than focusing on one genre, Louyah’s strength lies in incorporating an eclectic yet balanced mix of pop, rock, rap, and R&B elements.

We had the opportunity to chat with the artist about the viral, wholesome moment, how their life has changed since then, and what fans can expect next.

It's safe to say the last month has been a whirlwind for you. You went from playing in a bunch of bands to setting off on your solo career in 2019, followed by releasing your first album to now being catapulted in front of the internet. What has been the most eye-opening experience during your journey so far?

The most eye-opening thing that hit me was that, just when I was ready to move forward with the whole album and ready to say fuck it let's put something else out, out of nowhere my friends got me on the radio, and that just changed everything. It was a very "expect the unexpected" moment.

How do you spend your time now? Has anything in your life drastically changed?

I keep writing songs! I've honestly been writing a lot of music. Other than that, I've been just kind of doing the same thing. Keeping to myself and hanging out with my friends and my family. I wouldn't say anything's changed, because I'm a very family-oriented person. So, I mean, a lot of people have definitely hit me up, and I think it's awesome. Personally, though, I don't know a lot of people and, for me, it's hard to want to do a project with someone if I know I haven't met that person. I just stick with what I know in the moment. Once I'm introduced to somebody in person, then I'll feel better about it. But as far as making music with people who are hitting me up, it's... I don't know. I just blew up and you're hitting me up. It's a weird feeling.

You want to make sure the connections you make with people are genuine and authentic before you make music together.

Definitely! But as far as you know, DMs are cool. Pink Sweat$ follows me now and that made me happy. I messaged him in 2018 and I said, “You're an inspiration to me. I can't wait to work with you,” and then he followed me and I was like, no way, you just followed me and he said, “Your music's dope,” and I was like, wow, okay. But that's it. I'm not gonna ever be like, “Let's work together! Let's do XYZ.” I feel like it should naturally play its part, just like it did. And there's gonna be a time and place where I sit in a room and he's there and he'd be like, “Louyah!” and I'd be like “Pink Sweat$! Hi.” And then from there, maybe we become best friends or maybe it doesn't have to be anything more than music.

You've mentioned that you still hang out with your friends and family and that nothing in your personal life has changed. What are some things that you do to keep yourself grounded?

I enjoy watching gamers on Twitch and the people I watch are my friends. Outside of that, I spend all my time on music. I really don't do anything else. I would love to travel and music is now giving me the opportunity to travel. Like I've never owned a car. I'm 25 and I've spent my whole life working for this moment. This is all I've ever wanted, and I'm ready for it and I've been ready for it. I've been ready to just accept everything that's happening right now. 

If you could leave tomorrow, where would you go?

Japan. Catch me in Tokyo. I just think the culture is beautiful. I think everything's beautiful. I will respect it. I will love it. I will enjoy it. And I just want to see all the cool shops that they have. I want to see all the interesting foods that they make. I think the way they present things is just insane to me, and I would love love, love, love, love, love to go to Tokyo and take some cool photos at night with all the neon signs and just absorb the environment.

Now that you're working on your next record, can you tell me more about the evolution of Louyah and your creative process?

So young Louyah, just Louis. There was no Louyah. I was a 16-year-old kid that loved metal music, so I picked up the guitar and started playing. I then joined the band as a guitarist and after that band broke up, I was a vocalist, so I screamed at people for a little bit and that was interesting. There was a whole metal scene community that loved our band and what we talked about. We talked about a lot of heartfelt things.

Heartfelt things like what?

I talked about my father's struggle with addiction. And that was a big part of my life before I even ventured into Louyah. The band and I were helping people that were not able to talk about those things and just be open and be honest. I would do this thing where I would have everybody close their eyes at my show, and I would say, “Raise your hand if you're struggling with addiction.” Everybody would close their eyes and you would be so surprised at how many people raised their hands. And then I would have everybody open their eyes and I'd be like, “Alright, now look around you. What do you see?” I've watched people just start crying, because they're like, “Oh, my God, my friend is standing right next to me. And he has an addiction. And I didn't know that.” My whole thing was just being a part of that community, helping people in those realms because that was a big struggle of my life. Through my father, and me, my two brothers, my whole family, we all struggled in that. Once that had kind of cleared up, I stopped doing the band stuff. A few of the people were getting older. Some are married, some had kids. I was looking for something else to do. I didn't want to do the five-member band thing, I wanted to just do something that was a little bit more solo. So, I started Louyah.

And how was that change for you? Was it difficult setting off on your own?

That was a big change for me, because I did listen to hip-hop. I was a fan of hip-hop, I love Biggie Smalls. My parents showed me older stuff, but my brother was constantly recommending artists to check out that he thought were cool. And he was like, “Well if you're going to do hip-hop, you should do it the way you want to do it,” because I was a little on the fence about doing it. He just told me to do it the way I want to do it and see how that works. So, I've been using that method. I've been doing it the way I've wanted to do it this whole time and that's working out well. I'm still technically in a band because I work with a whole group of people. Is the band all on stage with me? No. But I think they all play a really big part just like any other band would. That's my band of brothers. One of them has been my best friend since first grade. He makes all my music videos, he does my graphic design content, and he’s also my live drummer. I remember being young and being like, “yo, we're gonna work together, one day we're gonna be in a band together....” and we are now.

Is he one of the friends that got you on the radio in that TikTok clip?

No, he wasn't one of the friends that were in the car. The reason why I put “friends” is because those guys are basically my best friends and also more or less family. But behind me in the car was my little cousin Young Pwavy. And then behind the driver is my friend Gervs. He's actually on the album. He is such a talented singer. And the person that is driving is actually my brother. All three of them went ahead to just put a smile on my face when I needed it and they knew I needed it, because I dropped this record, and just nothing happened. So they just were like, “Yo, you put a lot of work into this, and we see how much work you put into us,” because I record them and I help produce for them, and they just wanted to make me happy. They literally are the reason my whole life changed.

@louyah

If you don’t have friends like this you’re missing out ❤️ #radio #song #louyah #newjersey

♬ I Used to Care - Louyah

I can only imagine how much joy you must have felt in that moment.

I cried. I cried A LOT. Yeah. I cried to my mom, my brothers, I just cried. There was nothing to do but cry for like, three, four days straight. I would go on live and I didn't even know what to say. I would just cry. They would ask why I was crying and I was just like, “I'm happy.” I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know.

What can we expect from the next stage of Louyah?

I think everyone’s in for a surprise.

So a polka album?

Yeah definitely. Or jazz. Snake jazz!

People would love it!

Yeah, of course! But seriously, I think people are in for a surprise. Like I said, this first album was released in February, and I was ready to move on and move forward. I changed a lot of things about Louyah. Let's just say this new stuff is leaning more towards hip-hop than it is pop and rock. It still has similar elements but it's more hip hop. I'm not changing my voice or anything that crazy. There are some cool things that I'm doing, especially with the new song “La Da Di Da” I just put out. I've been working hard. Like, I have too much. I have too much music that needs to be listened to.

I know genres are arbitrary, but would you call yourself a hip-hop artist? What would you call yourself if you had to call yourself anything?

Honestly, that's a great question but also the hardest question for me. It's so changeable because I could say hip-hop right now, but a week from now, I could say rock. And then another week from now, I could say, pop or alternative. I can even say acoustic, because I do make acoustic music too. So I think at this point, it's just music. For right now, I can’t slap a label onto it because a label will box me, and I do not want to be boxed in any way.

What do you want to manifest for yourself in the year to come as an artist and as a person?

First and foremost, a house for my mom and a house for my dad. Also, a place to be more creative that has more room for the whole team that we have. That's number one, because I know that needs to happen. As for other manifestations, I want diamond records. I want plaques. I want to do US tours. God, I want to tour. I love touring, and I love traveling. I want to do sold-out shows. I want to sing in front of thousands and thousands and thousands of people that just all are connecting with me in that single moment, because that always felt like a very surreal moment, and I had just a short little taste of that at my own sold-out show for five hundred to six hundred people. 

I want to work with Post Malone. I want to work with Don Toliver. I want to work with JACKBOYS, Cactus Jack, and so many others. But these are big-name artists. On the real low, I've manifested the actual people that I love working with, which are Gervs, Young Pwavy, my friend Alec, and Kevin. Oh, and Dakun. I can't forget Dakun. Dakun mixes and masters everything and produces with me. I can't forget Dakun. All of those people I have manifested. I really did manifest everything I've wanted, and now it's just opened to more wants and more needs. So I'm excited to see what else comes of those things because, at this point, I don't even know what could happen tomorrow. There's something new every day.

[randomvarious]

Capt. Rock - “Cosmic Blast” Street Sounds Electro 6 by DJ Maurice & DJ Noel Song released in 1984. Mix released in 1985. Electro / Hip Hop

***Song starts at 5:49 and ends at 12:07***

I just wanna preface this long-ass post I had queued up for today to say rest in peace to MF DOOM, the greatest rapper of all time, bar none, and an incredible beatsmith, too. No one has ever had quite the incredible way with words that DOOM had or managed to cultivate the air of mysterious intrigue around themselves like he was able to with his mask. I saw him perform once at a festival in 2007 and I don’t even really know if it was actually him on that stage. It would’ve been one of the DOOM-iest moves to trot out an impostor to perform his own songs while he still got to collect that check; a move whose abject ballsiness you really can’t help but just chuckle at. 

Fuck this year, royally, man.

A rhyming cannibal who's dressed to kill and cynical Whether is it animal, vegetable or mineral It's a miracle how he get so lyrical And proceed to move the crowd like a old negro spiritual

JUST REMEMBER, ALL CAPS WHEN YOU SPELL THE MAN NAME

*     *     *

There’s so much to dig into with this record, and I’m not even really sure where to even begin with this post, but I guess I’ll start with the Aleem twins, two (duh) enterprising guys from Harlem who loved all kinds of music. Born in the mid-40s, the Aleem twins got their musical education from many local sources. They frequented the Apollo Theater and then a legendary local gangster, Jack “Fat Man” Taylor, signed them to his label, Rojac Records. The Aleems didn’t go anywhere with Rojac, but they learned the ins and outs of running an independent record label and they also met the enigmatic Blowfly, who was an in-house writer for Rojac at the time. Through Taylor the Aleems also met Jimi Hendrix’s friend and love interest, Lithofayne “Faye” Pridgeon, who ended up hatching quite a scheme involving the Aleems and Hendrix.

Pridgeon wanted to get Hendrix evicted from his apartment, in which he lived with her friend June Vasquenza. So Pridgeon sent the Aleem twins to the apartment to kick him out, with one of them to claim that he was going to marry June in order to help her secure a green card since she was undocumented at the time. But the plan fell apart when the Aleems actually met Hendrix and discovered that the three of them all shared a deep passion for music. Rather than Hendrix being evicted, the trio would end up sharing an apartment together. 

Hendrix would then ship off to Europe and become a superstar, but upon his return to Harlem, he kept close to the Aleems. They provided backing vocals on a number of Hendrix songs and they also promoted a street fair in Harlem that Hendrix headlined, which took place just a few weeks after his legendary performance at Woodstock. Hendrix had bigger plans for the Aleems, too; he was set on producing an album that they were planning, for which they would call themselves the Ghetto Fighters. Hendrix envisioned the album as a “street opera.”

But then in 1970, while in London, Jimi Hendrix tragically died, which, to say the least, put a really big crimp in the Aleems’ plans. However, they kept at it throughout the remainder of the 70s; they expanded their group to four members, including their sister, Juliette, changed their name to The Prana People, and got to be managed and financed by New York Knicks star, Earl “The Pearl” Monroe (Is this post New York enough for you yet?). In ‘77, the Prana People released their debut album, and in ‘79, the Aleem twins decided they wanted to move towards more of an electronic sound and ended up releasing a club hit called “Hooked on Your Love,” which stayed on the Billboard Dance chart for months and had both a barely known Jocelyn Brown and a young Luther Vandross on backing vocals.

Off of the success of that record and from being disillusioned by aspects of the music business, the Aleems decided to start their own independent label, NIA Records, which was to release disco, funk, soul, electro, and hip hop music. 

Around this same time, Jack “Fat Man” Taylor, who now owned the famous Harlem World club, wanted to promote his neighborhood’s burgeoning hip hop scene, and in 1980 released a record called Rapper’s Convention, whose a-side featured a duo who would break off afterwards and call themselves Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde. A frequent patron of Harlem World was a guy named Ronnie Greene, and he would one day run into Mr. Hyde and convince him to make him Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde’s DJ.

Fast forward to 1982 and the Aleem twins are holding auditions to put out a new George Clinton and Tom Tom Club-influenced electro-funk-hip hop record called Cosmic Glide. It’s a record that introduces a main character, Captain Rock, who’s an extraterrestrial that just wants earthlings to get down to his space-funk jams. The Aleems and Mr. Hyde already had the song written and Mr. Hyde then brought Ronnie Greene in to audition to be Captain Rock. And even though Greene had never really rapped before, he managed to win the Aleems over with his smooth delivery, his cool and varied flows, and his swaggeringly captivating mic presence.

However, despite it being a quality tune, “Cosmic Glide” didn’t perform all that well. But the next Captain Rock record, 1983′s The Return Of Capt. Rock, again written by Mr. Hyde and the Aleem twins, fared much better, and also became the first record to really earn a name for the NIA label. This new bit of fame for both Greene and NIA then allowed for the third and fourth Captain Rock records, respectively 1984′s Capt. Rock To The Future Shock and Cosmic Blast, to flourish. “Cosmic Blast” became both Captain Rock’s biggest and best hit and it also marked Ronnie Greene’s musical peak. Mr. Hyde had moved on to do other things, so the Aleems allowed Greene to write the song’s lyrics and they also involved him in the production process. 

Not long before “Cosmic Blast” was recorded, Doug E. Fresh, who was also a Harlem resident, had released a record called The Original Human Beat Box, and that was a record that was simply fly as fuck. It put Doug’s deft skills as a beatboxer on full display, and it also gave Ronnie Greene the idea to include some beatboxing on his own upcoming record. So he got his friend Richie Rich, who was a pretty good beatboxer himself, to come breathily box his beats for “Cosmic Blast”. And with Richie Rich, and an unforgettable electro-chiming melody supplied by the Aleem twins, and Greene’s fun party-rocking rap demeanor as Captain Rock, that quartet spun some real, dynamic, mid-80s New York gold.

It was actually a quintet though, because also in on the fun of that record was none other than Marley Marl, who’d go on to become one of hip hop’s greatest, most prolific, and most important producers. While mixing “Cosmic Blast,” Marley discovered, totally by accident, how to sample drums. He was trying to take a riff from a song, and in the process of playing back “Cosmic Blast,” discovered that he had lifted a snare drum, too. But the snare he had sampled sounded better than the drums that were originally programmed, so he kept the sample as is. This discovery led to an epiphany for Marley, in which he realized that he could sample any drum from any point within any record that was in his massive collection and then use those sampled drums as part of his own drumbeats instead of having to program the drumbeats on his own with a drum machine. This was a huge freaking deal; Marley’s beats could now sound uniquely authentic, like the drums had come from an actual drumkit, instead of sounding like they had come from the same inferior-sounding drum machines that every other producer was using. Pandora’s Box had suddenly been opened for Marley Marl with “Cosmic Blast,” and it helped set him on a course to attain legendary status as a producer.

But there’s even more to this story. Not only was electro big in New York; it was pretty popular in the UK, too; so much so, that Captain Rock actually went out there to perform at Wembley Stadium for a hip hop and electro festival called UK Fresh ‘86. He had absolutely no idea that people in the UK even knew anything about his music, but a compilation label called Street Sounds, which specialized in electro and hip hop, had been lacing their mixes with Captain Rock songs since ‘83, and in 1985, a pair of UK DJs by the names of Maurice and Noel included “Cosmic Blast” on the sixth installment of Street Sounds’ wonderful Street Sounds Electro series. 

It’s there you’ll find this fantastic version of “Cosmic Blast,” which features the addition of some really dope scratches from DJs Maurice and Noel that you won’t hear on the original cut; and those scratches have a way of really fucking enhancing the song. Maurice and Noel speed things up a little bit, too, which raises the pitch ever so slightly, and makes the tune way more danceable, overall. They also completely transform the third verse by mixing in other dubby vocals from Captain Rock and then instead of running with the electric guitar solo from the original, Maurice and Noel close their version out with more scratching with a little Run-D.M.C. mixed in there.

Very cool stuff all around. An already incredible jam made even better by two British DJs. Ring in the new year with this shit. Long live electro!

[the-gory-gardner]

Nightingale Part Six: Fragile

(The Meeting Between A Huntsman And A Lonesome Kitten One Year Ago)

Jonathan West x Katrina Evans

It took a moment for Jonathan to remember his suggestion to his little guest when he woke up. He probably only remembered so quickly because sometime during the night he’d turned over and draped his hand over the pillow divider. Waking up a bit more he realized that not only had he crossed the barrier he’d also rested his hand on Katrina’s head. 

He assumed she hadn’t woken up when he’d placed it there otherwise she would have woken up. Still as he processed his actions he couldn’t help but note how soft curls were. Then again everything about Katrina seemed soft and fragile. Jonathan moved his hand away carefully and he slowly scooted to the edge of the bed. He knew if it hadn’t been for the pillows he’d more than likely ended up holding the girl and he couldn’t imagine how startled that would have made her had she’d woken up first. 

Jonathan shook his head from the thoughts deciding he should get ready for the day. Though it’s not like there was much to do, still he grabbed some clothes from his drawers before heading to the bathroom. He took a quick shower that only lasted ten minutes before getting out and drying off. Once he was dressed he left the bathroom and headed back to his room just to peek in on Katrina. The small girl was still asleep and curled up in the blankets. Though at some point in the last ten minutes she’d taken one of the pillows from the barrier and pulled it to her chest. 

After watching her for a few more minutes, just to see if she’d wake up, Jonathan closed the door and headed off to the kitchen. He wouldn’t have much to do today except for some work on his blog. For now he could get started on breakfast since his stomach had began growing in the shower. As he looks inside his fridge debating what to cook again he thinks of how small Katrina is, how light, thin and just fragile she is. 

He decides that since she seemed better the night before that a big breakfast wouldn’t hurt. If it did he’d make her something else. So he pulls out eggs, hash browns, sausage links, bacon and a box of waffles. He’s not sure if Katrina can eat it all but hopefully she’ll eat what she can and that would be good enough for him. With all of the ingredients out he starts cooking deciding to make scrambled instead of fried, he cooks the sausage in the same pan as the bacon and throws the hash browns into the oven. 

Jonathan had just thrown two waffles into the toaster when Katrina comes off yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Morning”. Jonathan greets still a bit nervous at interacting with someone especially when he remembers the softness of her hair. “Good morning, are you making breakfast”? Katrina asked looking at the food he’d began to plate with only the waffles left to cook now. “Yeah I hope you don’t mind a big breakfast”. Jonathan answered before turning away from her slightly as the toaster dinging and the waffles popped out. 

“Not at all I usually don’t eat breakfast”. She’d admitted. It was true usually her parents rarely made breakfast and when they did it was never good. She could have eaten breakfast at school but usually she goes right to the music room to play for a bit until it times to get to class. “You should most important meal of the day and all”. Jonathan replies only half serious. He knows he skipped out on his share of breakfasts when he was young, mostly to avoid his dad if he was up that early and only if he didn’t think his mom might be in trouble. 

After a minute or two Jonathan finishes plating only needing to add the waffles now before setting the plates down. This time they sit at the kitchen counter to eat which already has a couple rather comfy stools set up. “Wow your a really good cook”. Katrina finds herself saying with a bit of chewed waffle in her mouth. The sight makes Jonathan snort loudly before thanking her. He’d learned some cooking from his mother but not a lot due to a usual lack of food since his dad spent the majority of their money on beer and gambling. 

“Really though I wish I could cook like this”. Katrina remarked. She’d loved to be able to make meals similar to when she was little before all her sisters had moved out. Before her parents had decided that they were done raising children even though one remained under their roof. She wondered if they were home yet, had they realized she was gone, realized she had come down from her room attempting to bond before being brushed off because they were busy with work. Had they realized that the house was painfully quiet without the light strumming of a violin filling it. 

“Katrina, Katrina”? She was startled at the sound of her name and looked up to see Jonathan looking at her with...concern? “Y-Yes”? She asked to let him know she’d heard him. “You zoned out a bit there you okay”? He questioned. “Yeah”. She said with a hesitate nod. “Just got a bit lost in my head is all”. She explained. “Okay if that’s all”. He stated like he didn’t fully believe but didn’t want to upset her. “But I said that maybe I could teach you a bit, probably not a lot but we have a few days until the roads clear up”. He told her. 

Katrina nodded with a strained smile. She was truly happy he offered to teach her to cook but there was an odd pang in her chest at the reminder that in a few days she’d be leaving. She shouldn’t miss the cabin or Jonathan she’d barely been here two days. But she couldn’t deny that two days here had felt warmer than almost two decades with her family. “Yeah I’d like that, might actually be tempted eat breakfast if I could make something half as decent as this”. She finally replied. 

“Oh trust me when you leave here your cooking will be more than decent”. Jonathan remarked. Katrina huffed a laugh before continuing eating. They don’t talk as they did the night before but the silence is comforting instead of awkward like it is with others. They find almost enjoyable and when they finish with their food Katrina insist on helping with the dishes. Jonathan tells her she doesn’t have to but she’s stubborn on the subject. 

Jonathan finds it a bit cute that the timid, shy and stuttering girl can be so stubborn. He wonders if she occasionally gets like this with others or if she’s just more relax here. He couldn’t imagine be relaxed so quickly after everything she’d went though. It made him feel slightly prideful that despite his lack of people skills he’d made her feel so safe so fast. 

After a few more minutes of his musings Jonathan and Katrina finish up the dishes before putting away what little leftovers there were. With that done they go to the living room with him telling Katrina she can chose something to watch. While she’s channel surfing he’d picked up his laptop debating if he wants to update his blog. When he finally opens it and logs in he sees that it’s still on the news website from yesterday. Still on the article on the ‘missing’ sex offender. 

Jonathan wonders if he should look at any updates. See if they’ve discovered the body, if there’s a chance police could be heading towards his cabin. If not if the back road is still covered in snow and too icy to travel than that means his truck has been found. If his truck hasn’t been found then the body might still be out there, stiff and covered in snow. He tells himself he shouldn’t worry that if the cops come he’ll tell the truth he attacked Katrina and Jonathan acted in self-defense. 

But even with the man’s obvious record the police would still ask for a statement and even though she’d be seen as a victim it would be hard for her. Jonathan can vaguely recall being questioned by the police while sitting numbly in the hospital numb and a bit doped up. He was seen as a victim from the start or at least as a scared boy but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard having to explain what happened that night and thinking any moment he’d break. 

He looked up from his computer to look at Katrina. She was sitting in the center of the couch now with her knees pulled up to her chest while she watched an cartoon on the TV. She was so small and his clothes only further showed that fact with how much they dwarfed her. He could almost picture her sitting curled up and meek in a hard plastic chair in a cold police station with two stone faced officer asking she questions as she explained what was possibly the worst day of her life. 

She’d break Jonathan was certain of it. 

And that, that was something he didn’t want. But how could he stop her from breaking. He knew she was fragile and no matter how much better she felt when she left she’d be hysteric if she had to talk to anyone about what happened. That’s when the idea came to him, it was crazy and very stupid but he just had this complete desire to help the small girl curled up on his couch. With a quiet sigh Jonathan went to an updated news page looking for any mention of the dead man. 

What he saw was nothing more than a simple mugshot that just stated the man was wanted. With a small nod Jonathan set up notifications to alert him if there were any updates on the news. If not Jonathan would go out and he’d make sure that the man couldn’t bother Katrina again, even in death. With a plan forming in his head he sat his computer down and walked over to Katrina. He gave her a small smile as he took a seat next to her. 

He was going to keep her safe no matter what. 

[beatsfortheillperth]

Words with Jetson

Our next interview is with a producer and rapper out of a beautiful place known as Tauranga, in New Zealand, This creative is known as Jetson.

He happens to be one of my cat, Rain's personal favourites for sleep time and regardless of the amount of thumping bass Jetson's music creates and picture frames it knocks over, I understand why he sleeps so sweetly.

Probably a lot to do with the fact that bass has rhythm, just like the sweet sweet words Jetson correlates with his word-plays in tracks such as "Milk" and "SENSEI". Not only impressing cats, Jetson has made moves and connections beyond the long white cloud, proving isolation doesn't always silence brilliance. Jetson brings words any generation can hold some sort of relevance to, words that allow one to notice life moves fast and slow and sometimes you just have to chill and become an observer rather than an instigator.

This is something I feel Jetson has accomplished with his rather low-key approach to releases and interviews.

Jetson is a natural, a true prodigy of sound and a sharer of moods, and to me, is a reminder that with a little bit of passion and persistence, great things can happen, whatever your field.

Jetson’s collective and label - Chill Children is evidence of that, as through it , Jetson is able to work and release with producers and beat-makers all over the globe.

emo the optimist, BACKWHEN, fuyu, eets, and junyii are just some of the diverse talents working with Chill Children and everyone on the catalogue are game-changers that make music that’s anointed in chills. 

Creators that push boundaries and portray emotion through sound in the most soothing way, one must check Chill Children.

So with that I hope you enjoy rare words with the nuance wonder, and in his own words.

Sit back, relax, get baked, create, f**k it.

Enjoy and much love.

Hey man thanks for the opportunity to share words. Let's start with a few random quick questions to get things going. Favourite Beverage: Lemon water. Favourite thing to do in your down-time: Make music/skate. Views on Reincarnation: It will be cool if it is true but I guess it doesn't really change anything if it is 🤷‍♂️ Favourite Food: Sushi. Favourite Album of All Time: Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders A song to break it down to: Ethereal & Playboi Carti - Beef A song to chill to: Durand Jones & The Indications - Cruising to the park Do you prefer Sunrise? or Sunset? Why?: Sunset, because I'm never awake for sunrise. A childhood memory in regards to music: I remember saving up to buy Graduation by Kanye West and listening to that shit front to back for weeks straight. Favourite Place to be: Probably on an island.

Thanks for that, so let's start by asking what inspires you to produce and not only produce but continually produce, what to me is an array of tunes fitting so many genres?

Do you have a set of goals in place when you release a track or do you just hit upload and just hope people are feeling your sound?

What I like to listen to is constantly changing so I like to challenge myself to try and make the things that I'm inspired by.

I like to think that you never know what you're gonna get when you listen to my music but I've still got so much to learn and experiment with. I just try have fun with it and not think about it too much.

How long have you been producing music, and what did you find was hardest to get the hang of when it first came to producing beats?

I had no music theory knowledge or anything when I started making beats (I still don't have much) so there was a lot to learn right away.

Probably the hardest thing that I still battle with is knowing what you should release, what you shouldn't etc. It's hard to balance knowing when something is finished and when it still needs work.

Could you give a quick run-through of the process you follow when it comes to making a beat?

I try to change my process as much as I can to keep things fresh and fun for myself. But I really enjoy hearing a sample somewhere like keys, a quote or a rapper I want to remix, then I start working with that piece and see where it goes.

I'll mess around with the beat for a while and sometimes a track comes out. It can take one day, it can take months. Just depends.

Oldies are always goodies in my books and I have to mention your "bumps from 2014" mixtape, it truly is something special.

What inspired those little bumps? What were you doing back then? Also, can you remember the mood you were in when you made them?

I'm glad you like it haha. That was when I really had no clue what I was doing in terms of making beats, I was making all of those 'off the grid' in Ableton so I was placing drums in random places, I had no idea what bpm the samples were or anything. I really didn't know wtf I was doing, just going off of a vibe. 

My mood was really just being excited about making music, I was living in the basement at my mum's house blasting beats on the speakers all day.

[bumps from 2014] - https://soundcloud.com/sleepgodd/bumps-from-2014

You are also a rapper. My favourite NZ rapper to be more precise so thank you for the vibes you create. How did you find out you had it in you to rap and how old were you?

Damn, I appreciate that ✌️ I started rapping with a friend of mine, Jesse aka j cafe when we were around 20. We'd sit in my room smoking weed, and free-styling over beats on Soundcloud all night. 

Then we decided to make a track, so we found a beat and jumped in the closet to record some vocals on the laptop microphone.

We put it up on Soundcloud and I've been addicted to making music ever since.

Link to j cafe’s Soundcloud here - https://soundcloud.com/j-cafe

Cover art for Jetson’s 2019 rap release - bluntscraps

Album cover art by Takuroh Toyama

When did you first start rapping in front of others? What did it feel like in the beginning compared to now when you perform live?

I was insanely nervous the first time I ever did anything live and that feeling really hasn't left me lol.

Except now I know how to deal with nerves a bit better and actually enjoy the whole experience of doing something live.

I definitely think I'm a lot better now than my first time doing it, but I still kinda suck 😂 Staying on topic with your rapping, material-wise you have mad skills, your music is forever helping me chill out so thank you.

When did you start writing down your words and turning them into structured songs? Do you have any other artists that inspire your writing style?

When I was younger I really liked the flow of rappers rather than what they were actually saying.

Dudes like MF Doom and Earl Sweatshirt really influenced me at the start wanting to come up with lines that were catchy and different.

To form an actual track I usually just mumble over beats to get the flow, then I start placing words in the spots where I think they fit.

Does your family know you make music? If so what do they think of it, any dance parties in the Jetson Family Household? 

My immediate family all know and support my music. My mum used to have one of my tracks as her ringtone for years lol.

No jetson dance parties yet, but seems like every year more people in my extended family know about my music.

You were also a member of NZ Duo, Chill Children of which you rap and produce with yet another kiwi talent, both having low-key approaches when it comes to presenting yourselves through social media. What happened with that?

Me and J Cafe started Chill Children as a rap project in the early days but we moved to different places in the world and started doing our own solo projects so things sort of stopped happening with it.

I still credit those times with really getting me started on music though. He's still making dope shit and we'll probably link up on a track soon.

So then it became a sort of collective community, and through your Chill Children Soundcloud, you allow a platform for other artists to have their music heard.

Much Love on the concept, What inspired you to start sharing other artists music and what keeps you sharing? I'm very grateful btw, too many gems.

I work on music a lot with my friend emo the optimist (aka kodama) and we always wanted to run a label/collective kind of thing so we could release music from artists that we really liked.

After me and Jesse started doing our own thing, Chill Children seemed like the perfect place to start doing that.

It's one of my favorite things to work on as we have a hand in working with the artists on every release. I just love that we're able to share so much music that we really like with the world.

Check Chill Children here -

Bandcamp - https://chillchildren.bandcamp.com/

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/chillchildren

Instagram - @chillchildren

Any new Chill Children material we should keep an eye out for?

We always have new music from new artists dropping so definitely follow our instagram/twitter if you want to stay updated on it.

We're currently working on a phonk compilation with guys like DJ Yung Vamp, Genshin etc. It's gonna be crazy 🤯

Back to your solo releases through your alias Jetson. What made you want to start putting out your material alone? Also, do you have a favourite Jetson release?

I really felt like I had to release music solo to see what I could do.

I've learned so much about myself through that process, became more confident and a better musician.

Probably my favorite rap track I've made is called 'Escape'.

Not many people have heard it but it's on Spotify and other places.

My favorite beat I've made is probably 'dylan rieder'.

Have to ask, are you working on any new releases we should keep an ear out for? If so, what can we expect with your coming releases?

I just released an album on Bandcamp called THROWED TAPES which was really influenced by DJ screw and other phonk producers.

I'm working on a lofi R&B tape for Bandcamp, a lofi beat tape, and I really want to release a rap EP.

Who knows when those will come out though haha

Taking it back a little to your rapping again I have to mention "Milk". What inspires the words in this track?

Also please share the story behind your track "Melancholy"? The words are somewhat mesmerizing, thank you!

With milk, I just heard the beat from bsd.u and really wanted to make something weird that just followed the flow of the beat.

On melancholy I tried to think about what I was saying a little more. The instrumental is so introspective and smooth I knew I had to come correct on it.

THROWED TAPES By Jetson, released August, 27, 2020

Musical Recommendations?

junyii - emo the optimist - knxwledge - j cafe - jesse james solomon - the smiths - dj yung vamp - shuggie otis - hm surf - alicks - MIKE - baccyard - meraki soul - steve hiett I could go on for days though lol

Creatives to keep an eye out for in music and art? Takuroh Toyama (photography) Moebius (visual art) Steve Hiett (photography/music) Any Last Words?

It really trips me out that people enjoy something I love to do so much.

So just thank you for vibing with me, I have a lot more to share ✌️

Support Jetson here -

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/highimjetson

Bandcamp - https://jetsonbumps.bandcamp.com/

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/2bkf2PmiVyfCqg2uzIFIqJ

Twitter - https://twitter.com/jetsonbumps

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jetsonn/?hl=en

Milk by Jetson (Production by bsd.u)

[fyexo]

200924 SuperM Talk 'Super One' & Finding Unity In The Covid Era

Last year, K-pop group SuperM made history when their self-titled debut EP premiered at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 album chart. A miscellany of a boy band featuring seven cornerstones from four different acts signed to South Korean company SM Entertainment, the newly formed act’s star power and the virality of their immensely memeable first single "Jopping" made them a must-watch act of 2020. Now, they’re back with their first LP, Super One.

Out on Sept. 25, SuperM's first full-length album features 15 tracks, some that listeners have heard before, like pre-release singles "100" and "Tiger Inside," and B-sides like "Dangerous Woman" and "With You" that the act has performed in the past during concerts and televised performances. Split almost evenly between songs that are performed predominantly in either English or Korean and fronted by the lead track "One," a blend of two B-sides, "Monster" and "Infinity," Super One is all about meshing different elements together, whether it’s members of SHINee, EXO, NCT 127 and WayV into one whole, or running the gamut of different genres and languages in ways that are all at once familiar and innovative for members of some of K-pop's biggest acts.

Throughout all the multitudes of Super One, however, is one overall theme—serving up a soundtrack perfect for the age of corona. "I think we tried really hard to unify the messaging through the lyrics and through that bring a message of hope and unity to our fans and everyone who listens to it," said Taemin, the most senior member of the group, active in the industry since debuting with the group SHINee in 2008.

Coming out since the world first began reeling from the changes and ongoing impacts of the global COVID-19 pandemic, Super One spends its length motivating listeners through a freewheeling medley of energetic, vibrant electro-pop anthems and mellowing out to offer up lackadaisical, breezy moments on hopeful tracks. Whether it’s the optimistic, sweet bounce of "Better Days" and "Wish You Were Here" or the hint of separate-but-together partying euphoria on "Together at Home" and the smooth sexiness of the groove on "Drip" serving up the type of confidence that comes with good times, SuperM have delivered an album that is oh-so-very 2020 but will live long beyond December.

This interview was edited for clarity, and conducted in both English and Korean.

You’re about to release Super One into the world, following the release of "100" and "Tiger Inside." How does it feel to be sharing your first LP after last year’s debut EP?

Mark: We feel really thrilled to let the whole world see it. We’ve prepared a lot for it. “100” and “Tiger Inside” were just the singles that only lead up to the main album, so we’re pretty excited.

Taeyong: Because we’ve been working on this first full-length album for such a long time, we think it’s that much more meaningful for everyone. We were really thinking of our fans when we were putting this all together. Because we released two singles ahead of the release, we hope our fans and everyone will have the same and rising expectations for “One.” We hope everyone receives a lot of strength and positive vibes through this album.

What is the meaning of Super One to you?

Mark: We believe that it is very appropriate for the situation that the whole world is going through, the message that we have. Not only are we trying to say that we can overcome all of our problems and all these difficulties as we work together, we also believe that—if you see in the album, there are a lot of songs in the playlist where it has an encouraging message. We just want to spread positivity around the world and really bring hope to the listeners, saying, "We can overcome it all." With that positive message, we really want to bring everyone together. That’s pretty much how we, SuperM, were brought together as well. Though we may be all scattered in different ways, when we come together we become very super. I guess that’s the main message and the aspiration also of Super One.

Your first album debuted at No. 1 on the Stateside Billboard 100 chart, so expectations must be high for this album. What sort of response are you hoping for now that Super One is going to be heard by the world?

Lucas: I just hope that, throughout this whole worldwide pandemic situation that we’re all going through, listeners and fans will receive strength and hope through our music.

Why is "One" the perfect single for SuperM to release Super One through, following the earlier releases of "100" and "Tiger Inside"?

Mark: We always thought that having "100" come out first, then "Tiger Inside" leading to "One," that whole picture was a strategy that we thought would be best because we wanted to build up as much anticipation as we can. We wanted to build our fans’ expectations a lot as well. Having "One" come out as the final product was something we knew was right because the song itself has a lot of power in it, it holds a lot of what we can sing and rap about. The potential of the song holds what SuperM can really express. I feel like "One" was one of those tracks we really wanted to explode with. It’s a song that represents the album the best way.

You mentioned that you were sharing a unified picture in releasing these trio of singles one after another. What were you trying to relay through this trilogy?

Mark: I feel like each is great in their own way, but they all are connected as well. They’re all very different. Even if you just see “100” and “Tiger Inside,” the concept, the visuals, the pictures, the sounds, they’re all really, really different. But if you see the whole playlist of the album, they’re actually quite connected because all the songs have one central message on the album. “100,” we really wanted to give our 100% power and energy for fans to receive. “Tiger Inside,” the message was to not hide your power, to not hide the inner wildness you have inside and really release it out. And “One” is to bring all that energy together to overcome something we think we may not be able to but we can if we work together. It’s all about overcoming and collaboratively working together to overcome something we all want.

“One” is a blend of two songs, “Monster” and “Infinity,” how does it feel for you to be blending these songs together?

Ten: I think the concept that we put two songs and mix it together is very new, but also SHINee’s [2012 single] “Sherlock” is a mix of two songs, “Clue & Note.” With this album we think it’s a good idea to put the songs together because both songs, “Monster” and “Infinite” are very strong, they’re both ear-catching. That’s why I think it’s a very good idea to put it together, and I think the fans are going to love the mix too.

Speaking of… Taemin, firstly, congratulations on the release of your new album Never Gonna Dance Again!

Taemin: Thank you!

You’ve done this blending of songs into a single before as SHINee. How does it feel revisiting this creative style again with SuperM?

Taemin: I personally think that this is one of K-pop’s biggest strengths, the fact that there are so many different styles of music and genres that can be mixed into one song and they’re all so catchy. Since we [already] did this with “Clue” and “Note,” it was really cool for me to see that creative process happen again. If you think of K-pop in general, it includes so many different styles of music. Even in one song, you’ll see multiple genres, multiple drops, multiple tempos, key changes, etc. I actually heard that when the producing team was making this song, it was really hard to make it sound really seamless and natural, making sure the key and tempo and everything matched when they mixed these two songs. But I personally think it was really fun to see this all come together and happen. Seeing a more creative and fun kind of music production process is always what makes K-pop new and exciting all the time.

The album is bilingual, and split pretty evenly between English and Korean tracks. How do you feel about showing this duality? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think it’s ever been done before in K-pop, splitting an album with different language tracks quite in this way.

Taeyong: When I’m recording [in English], it’s very fun but it’s like English studying, a little bit. It’s because English pronunciation is important. I think our fans like our English songs a lot. They and our Korean songs are really good. They’re really dope. Really a bop.

Several songs, like “Better Days” and “Together at Home” seem inspired especially by the global corona pandemic. Why was it important to you to share these sorts of songs with listeners?

Mark: We structured the entire album to appropriately fit what’s going on in the world right now. So that’s why we thought of this entire message. “Together at Home” and “Better Days” are the songs that really represent that feature the most in a way. Taeyong and I actually wrote some of the lyrics for “Together at Home.” When we received the message of the song for us to get the inspiration, they were talking about how we can talk about the Beyond Live [concert platform] that we used. We could think of that as a way for us to get inspired so we can think of ways to write about ways we could reach our fans at this time. So we actually wrote stuff about that on the song. We really wanted to put that in there. That’s why if you see the lyrics, we’re talking about how we’re always indoors but still kind of connected in a virtual kind of way, however we can [be]. Stuff like that really fits what’s going on right now, so we hope the fans can relate.

Is there a song that any members feel particular fondness for?

All: “Wish You Were Here!” [Members sing.]

Mark: I guess we all like “Wish You Were Here” the most. [Laughs.]

Lucas: Yeah!

Mark: It’s so catchy. It’s easy to listen to and so catchy. That’s why I like it.

Kai: I like the chorus. It’s very bright so I can get uplifted by it. I think it suits the album a lot.

Taemin: It would be great to hear fans’ covers of that song. I think it’s a song people will want to cover, and it’d be cool to collab with someone on it as well.

You’ve been together as SuperM for a while now, but who surprised or impressed you while recording and preparing this album?

Mark: We’ve been together quite a while now and, more than discover an aspect we haven’t seen of each other before, it’s more like, "Wow." For example, I knew Baekhyun was good at singing, but like… It still surprises me to this day, if you know what I mean? There’s stuff like that. Something that I didn’t know was that Baekhyun is good at art.

Baekhyun: We were together, and when we were in LA living together, from the beginning [as SuperM]. As time passes, we feel more like family and I feel every one of us is growing more into our roles as individual members of the group.

Were there any memorable moments from the creation process of this album?

Baekhyun: We actually shot a reality show together. Obviously, the album production process itself is always memorable, but in addition to what we’ve always done – preparing for performances, practicing together, recording the songs, etc. – outside of that, we had a chance to be a part of these shows that will air soon. These shows were where we got to spend a lot more time together, and we could showcase our chemistry to our fans and viewers. Those memories were really fun because we got to travel and do stuff together.

Transportation and speed have been themes that carried throughout your songs and music videos, where you regularly are seen traveling in different types of vehicles, whether it’s space ships or helicopters. At a time when people aren’t able to travel, what do you feel this represents?

Kai: If you look at our past music videos there are motorcycles, there are tanks, there are a lot of cars, and I think that goes well with SuperM’s concept as a group. That’s why they were featured in our music videos and past songs. We can’t really travel right now because of the pandemic and everything that’s going on, but we hope that, just like these modes of transportation can take you somewhere, our music and this album can be a mode of transportation that takes you to a place of hope and takes you to that higher place where everyone can enjoy themselves and be happy.

What are your favorite lyrics on the album?

Mark: For me “Wish You Were Here”’s, “After all these years, I wish you were, wish you were here” is my favorite. Because the melody is really cool.

Taemin: In “So Long,” there’s a chorus where Mark sings “차가운 표정으로 맞이하는 절정 (An ending with the coldest face*)” I like that part. It’s really addictive, that part in particular.

Mark: I don’t know if he’s teasing me. [Laughs.]

You’re all part of different groups under SM, so what do you think makes Super One a distinctly SuperM album?

Taemin: If you listen to our first mini album, there were songs that were like unit tracks. It wasn’t every member on the album on every track. This album is different because every member participated in all of the tracks, and I think that it’s distinctly SuperM just because we were kind of able to create this album with one unified messaging. There’s so many types of songs, types of genre, on the album, but I think we tried really hard to unify the messaging through the lyrics and through that bring a message of hope and unity to our fans and everyone who listens to it. I think that makes it distinctly SuperM.

What are your goals for the rest of 2020? What do you hope to achieve with this album?

Lucas: The biggest goal that we want is we really want to be able to meet our fans if possible in 2020, because we miss them so much. If that can’t happen, another goal that we have is that through the Super One album we bring a lot of strength and hope to anyone who listens to it.

Ten: We might have more online events, like Vlive [livestreams] or Beyond Live [concerts]. Maybe those kinds of things can happen. We’re still thinking of ways to get close to fans even though everything is far apart nowadays. We’re going to find all our fans. So don’t be sad, don’t worry, just have fun. Hope you guys stay strong during this period. We’re going to do our best to meet you guys.

Baekhyun: That’s right.

*Translation provided by SM Entertainment.

Tamar Herman @ GRAMMYs

[jq37]

On a scale of 1-10, how difficult is it to make a podcast? I’ve been following ANA since you first announced it (I’m so excited for it) and the other day I came up with an idea that I think would make a good series

Hey, thanks for the message! And thanks for being interested. Absolutely No Adventures has been a lot of fun to put together and it's nice to see that people are looking forward to it.

As for your question I'd say maybe a 6? But that's a really incomplete answer and I did a lot of searching for help on how to get started when I decided to do this so I'll give you  more in depth breakdown of the steps and if you have more questions you can totally message me off of anon.

(1) Write The Thing

So yeah, no getting around it. The first thing you have to do is just write the podcast. For some people, this is the hardest part. For me, it was probably the easiest part because it's the thing I was most familiar with. You already have an idea, which is great. So now you probably want to sit down and figure out things like is this a limited miniseries or will it be on-going with multiple seasons? How long will each episode be?

You also want to make sure you write for the medium. For example, in a book, you can just say, "She hugged him." But if it's audio, you have to make there's some kind of indication for that (ie: Man: Oh, and now we're hugging).

Format doesn't matter too too much as long as it's consistent. I used film script format in Celtx (which is free) but people also use Google Docs. Just pick what's easiest for you and get going.

I also highly recommend you finish a full season of scripts (or the whole set if it's a mini series) before you move on. Some people write as they go and if you want to do that, cool, but it's one less thing to worry about once you're in production and you don't want writer's block to slow you down once you're already going.

(2) Casting

So this is where I left my comfort zone and had to learn to do things I was unfamiliar with. The good news here is, there are a lot of actors available to be a part of projects like this for varying amounts of money or no money at all if it's an interesting enough project. I will advocate for paying people if you can though because I wanna make money off of my art someday so I think it's only fair to reciprocate. If it is unpaid, just be upfront about that. It's common among indie projects so it's not scandalous or anything.  

Anyway, the basic process here is you write up a casting call that says what the project is, what the deadline is for auditioning, and has some audition lines for each characters (called sides). Then you post on Twitter which has a pretty active voice actor community plus some other places like reddit and certain FB groups and auditions will start rolling in. Casting calls tend to spread--people came to me from Discords I'd never heard of. Once you get a bunch you can pick who you like or, if you can't decide, invite back some people for callbacks and then pick.

I think 2 weeks is a good length of time to keep auditions open, longer if you're looking for something really specific.

It's also possible to simplify this step if you happen to know friends who have mics and wanna help or if you want to do a podcast with a very small cast--maybe even just one person who could be you. There are a number of podcasts with that format. I maybe should have mentioned this during writing but I'll mention it here instead. Anything you have to write, you will have to produce, so keep that in mind. Like, when you're writing, it's easy to have a bunch of extras and sound effects and crazy things happening, but remember that you have to bring that all to life later, so maybe a different character can give that exposition so you don't have to cast ANOTHER person as an extra.

(That being said, most actors I've worked with are chill with doing an extra voice or two.)

Oh! Also. Time zones are a thing. Keep that in mind. I do no regret casting an Australian, a Brit, and Americans across the country because they were all fantastic, but it was hell to schedule.

(3) Recording

So there are 3 main ways to record--in person in studio, remotely together, and remotely apart.

Option one is kind of a no-go right now because of Covid so let's talk about the other 2.

Remotely Together means you get all your actors on a Zoom call with you and they're all in their studios and you record as if you're all in the same room. I did this for ANA and I think it's the best way to do it cause people get to react to each other in real time which is great. The only thing is, it means you have to line up everyone's schedules which is a total bear. Still, if you can do it, worth it.

Remotely Apart means you give everyone their scripts and tell them to send in their lines in x weeks. I did this for some episodes of Secret Podcast Number 2 and it works fine. But for the more emotional eps, we still recorded together. This method is good because it gets rid of timing troubles which was necessary since we're doing a December release (which, trust me, is crazy quick for what we’re doing), but there are some things, you want people to be able to adjust their intensity levels for in the moment.

Either way, but especially in scenario 2, I'd suggest you do a table read first where everyone gets on call and reads through everything. It helps everyone get a feel for each other so they're not going in cold.

Wrt directing, it can feel a little weird to tell people how to talk or inflect or how much they should be crying, but, as long as you're polite, just go for it. They're actors. They can take the notes. That's what they do. All of my actors were always super great about it.

(4) Production

Alright so you have lines in from all your actors.

The next question is, how are you going to handle your production? The actual putting together of the lines and cleaning them up and balancing and adding effects and all that?

I specifically wrote ANA to have relatively simply sound design and it was *still* too much for me to handle so I opted to outsource for that and it was for sure where most of a budget went. If you happen to know how to do this or have the time to learn, you'll def save yourself some money. It is still very time consuming though. The one part that I did do--deciding which takes to use from the lines my actors sent (aka: picking takes) and putting them together to send to my sound guy--took super long as is.

If you're going to hire/recruit someone to do this stuff for you, I recommend you do it before you cast because they'll be able to let you know if the actors who want have compatible audio quality.

IDK what standard procedure is here but the way it works with my guy is I send him lines and then he puts stuff together and sends me a draft of the episode. Then I say what I want changed in an excel spreadsheet with time stamps and we go back and forth until it's done.

(5) Ancillary Stuff

Theme music! You probably want that! There are a couple of routes you can go here. You can get something from a music library--either totally free or for a relatively small fee. This is the most cost effective but will probably more generic and likely in use somewhere else if it's fully free.

You can write it yourself if that's a thing you're good at obviously. Or you can pay someone to do it which will probably cost you a couple hundred bucks but will be totally tailored and unique.

Cover Art! Also very important. People do judge things by their covers so I def rec getting a really dope one made. Canva is also your friend for like icons and stuff.

A Website! You'll want at least a basic one for like contact info, transcripts, stuff like that. I just use Carrd. You can get a pretty classic, website-like setup by using sections and you can link to a custom URL for only like 13 bucks a year which is great.

(6) Marketing

OK so, I'm gonna be real with you, this is the step I'm working on now so I'm still figuring it out!

Besides posting on social media and stuff, you also need to make a press kit which is basically a doc with all the info about you and the show. You can see mine on the ANA site.

I also have mood-board-y graphics I made on Canva to drop with each ep (or ahead of them. Haven’t quite decided). 

I will say, I’ve made friends in the community and a lot of them have hyped up my stuff without me even asking. Which isn’t me saying, “Make friends for what they can do for you.” Gross. What I’m saying is that just participating in the community can help.

Anyway, this is getting way too long. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. Like I said, if you (or anyone else) has more specific questions, hit me up!

[cherrychill1]

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SARMs were really found by accident in the 90s when cancer scientist James Dalton recognized the particle andarine, or S-4, which came to be the first-ever SARM. While it didn't confirm handy for cancer cells treatments, Dalton saw its impact on muscle development.

Prohormones use a crucial competitive benefit to professional athletes as well as body builders who intend to enhance their dimension as well as stamina. They are chemical substances firing up the body to produce its very own "steroids" without the demand for testosterone boosters or fabricated steroids.

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Today they are used quite generally due to the effects they offer. Unlike timeless steroids, they counteract prostate spreading, however most notably, making use of SARM leads to muscle tissue growth. Taking specifics from the SARM team likewise has a direct result on bone cells. Selective androgen receptor modulators were created to get rid of the negative effects and also the poor oral bioavailability and pharmacokinetic account of testosterone. While the specific system of the action of SARMs is not fully understood, the key reason for higher cells specificity and extra favorable pharmacokinetics is thought about to be their resistance to aromatization or 5-α-reduction.

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Long-lasting use of specifics coming from the group of androgen receptor modulators of SARM might create unwanted results such as voice loss or virilisation of women. Significantly, on the various other hand, SARMs do not prevent their own manufacturing of a crucial hormonal agent, testosterone, unlike numerous steroids. However did complete blood job after the cycle and whatever was spot on. As a research chemical, Ostarine comes from a course of chemicals referred to as SARMs or discerning androgen receptor modulators. SARMs produce selective anabolic task at specific androgen receptors and also not others, therefore their name. Contrasted to testosterone and also other anabolic steroids as well as professional hormonal agents, the benefit of SARMs such as MK-2688 is that they do not have androgenic task in non-skeletal-muscle cells.

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Ostarine (enobosarm, S-22, MK-2866, or GTx-024) and Ligandrol (LGD-4033, VK5211) are both non-steroidal SARMs. OS was been revealed to boost the lean body mass and also physical function in elderly men as well as postmenopausal women as well as lower muscle wasting in people with cancer cells (24-- 26). For LG, a rise in the lean body mass in young healthy and balanced clients has actually been observed. Ostarine is classed as an anabolic agent by the World Anti-Doping Firm, which reported a low 28 unfavorable logical searchings for across sport in its 2016 Screening Figures Record. It is a Careful Androgen Receptor Modulator developed as Enobosarm by pharmaceutical firm GTX to deal with problems entailing muscular tissue wastefulness or osteoporosis. Therefore, it is designed to target the androgen receptors in the body, to make sure that selected cells respond as they would certainly to testosterone, without the side effects. During Dalton's trials, he discovered that ostarine lowered fat, enhanced lean muscle mass and boosted staircase climb power by more than 15% in senior male individuals.

He synthesized ostarine as a more refined version of andarine, as well as it undertook numerous human tests. In one 12-week research on older men, ostarine cause an increase in lean muscle mass and a decline in fat mass. The guys were likewise checked out during workout, and also after 12 weeks experienced a 15% enhancement in their efficiency with staircase climbing.

The increase in testosterone from SARMs leads to even more anabolic task, giving the body a side. SARMs, or selective androgen receptor modulators, are drugs that impact muscular tissue growth, usually made use of in the bodybuilding area. SARMs, or discerning androgen receptor modulators, are a course of androgen receptor ligands uncovered in the 90s, after the adverse impacts of steroids had actually been far better checked out. Research SARMs are researched for their impacts on muscular tissue gains, bone thickness, healing time, weight loss and for any kind of damaging results they might create. Nonetheless, SARMs are known for having marginal negative effects and also no well-known red flags when taken within specific dosages, according to a recap of study reported in Existing Viewpoint in Scientific Nourishment & Metabolic Care. Piling develops a collaborating strategy to enhancing lean muscular tissue mass whilst decreasing body fat. Or if cutting preventing muscle loss Store our discerning androgen receptor modulator piles below.

To support high muscular tissue mass gain, support reveal sporting activities progression, low-cost expense and also little or no adverse effects. As it ends up, there are products on the market that can give all this. SARMy is a kind of reasonably new supplements on the marketplace, which really quickly obtained appeal among individuals who are seeking materials to boost their number, strength and reduction possibilities. Products from the SARM team include androgen receptor modulators, which are considered to be lawful anabolic-androgenic steroids. They were very first established in the 1990s and also were originally thought about to be really unpredictable substances.

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[piratewithvigor]

Love Break My Heart: Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Summary: A half-life relationship is disintegrating at the seams. Neither of them is good for the other, but after 14 years together, they don’t know how to be with each other anymore.

Word Count: 2059

A/N: A prize story written for @slashscowboyboots​ that I keep putting off working on until I have massive fruitopia-fueled writing bonanzas when I’m supposed to be going to sleep because I work tomorrow. Enjoy!

I can remember back to the first days we spent in the studios. Cutting demos, the silence punctuated by growling stomachs. We were hungry literally and figuratively. Daily scrapings of cash were what we ate from and some days, sleep was all we could afford for dinner. Working on the first album was much of the same, but not quite as desperate. We had a bit of an advance. Something we could eat off of, but nothing that was keeping us in the lap of luxury. We still all shared a shitty house with a carpet full of burn holes and not a single piece of furniture that didn’t boast an array of stains, dents or scrapes. But we weren’t starving for anything except success.

It’s different now. You didn’t have to look beyond the people occupying the studio to know the energy felt different. Steven was gone, to begin with. He’d struggled along with the rest of us, and now he was gone because he found something that meant more to him than we did. Success got to his mind and gave him the delusions of invincibility I had seen so many of my heroes succumb to. My mind drifted to him sometimes when nothing else was occupying it. Call it a happy place, if you will. It’s simply a corner of my mind I can go to when the reality around me doesn’t live up to my expectations of it.

The other difference is everyone’s attitudes about the albums-in-process. Our collective passions were what created the first, but this? The passion here lay in something besides music. Slash is doped up, hiding behind his curtain as if he thinks we can’t tell. He used to share this passion with Steven and me, but times are different now. Duff’s baby is in the bottle. How his liver hasn’t exploded yet is beyond me. His passion lies somewhere deep within his endless bottles, in drinking them down like he’s trying to find it. Axl? His passion lies in control, in perfection. In a way, it always has, but it’s begun to overpower him and, in turn, the rest of us. His demand for perfection drives everyone to their respective new passions as well. As for myself, I’m no saint. I’ve drank my fair share and I took part in every drug I could get my hands on. But they weren’t my passions. The struggles I went through to kick all of them were in the honour of the one thing who held control over me: the bitchy redhead who’s barking orders at everyone in the studio.

I’m trying to comply with what he’s saying and follow directives. Axl’s in no mood to hear anyone’s ideas but his own. Neither Duff nor Slash seem eager to offer any. Matt and Dizzy look more inclined to lick peanut butter off his ass than to offer constructive criticism. It’s no one’s fault the day is going this way; simply the cycle that’s been constructed during these albums. A single mistake in the morning leads to an outburst, which leads to stress, more mistakes, more anger and fear which leads to shit being taken secretly to cope, then playing gets sloppier, and eventually, something will break. It’s as certain as any law of motion.

I’m not even sure who messed up when Axl pauses us again. I started tuning him out after we did a perfect run-through and he still found problems. As much as I love him, sometimes a tune-out is the only way to cope. It’s the only way I can keep loving him. He’s in the control room, arguing with our producer. I can’t hear his exact words through the soundproofed glass, but I can see his lips moving and his body language isn’t screaming “I’m in a fantastic mood; please approach.”

It takes five or so minutes for our producer to eventually lean into his mic to be heard in the recording booth.

“Iz, Axl thinks you might be flat.”

I purse my lips and make a show of checking my tuning quickly. I’m not flat. Axl knows I know I’m not flat. He’s lashing out because something isn’t living up to his grand vision and he isn’t sure what it is. I’d have heard if someone was flat. He would have too, without having gone through an entire shouting match with the producer to wreck his voice.

Satisfied with my efforts, Axl returns to the booth and we start another take. They’re numbered, for some reason, but we’ve done so many, I don’t know why anyone would bother to keep track. It’s the same for every song. Every song on these twin albums that we thought would be a great idea. No one had anticipated just how much of a pain they would grow to be. A single album takes months. We’ve been at both of them for over a year. Almost a year and a half, by my count. A year and half of my time spent being yelled at by a man who just wishes he could yell at the universe, but instead chooses to whittle it down to who he used to consider his universe.

I’m playing again, but I don’t remember beginning. Everyone is playing, but no one looks like they’re actually here. Mentally, anyway. We’re all in our respective happy places. Axl stops us again and the room heaves a collective mental sigh. The take was as perfect as he’s going to get. For tonight, anyway. Time passes in a different way in the studio. The lack of windows and clocks ensure it. Once the exhaustion sets in, minutes seem like hours, seem like seconds. I know I ate breakfast with Axl this morning, but nothing since. I can easily bet that it’s beyond lunch time.

Once Axl’s back is turned in the control room, I pull my neck strap over my head and place the guitar on one of the stands in the corner, unplugging it in the process. The minute details of imperfection have Axl swamped sufficiently that he doesn’t notice when I leave the recording booth. Nor does he notice that I’ve left the studio.

It’s late evening when I walk outside. Full moon on the rise and everything. For the first time today, my movements aren’t planned. Sure, I’ll eventually have to return to the studio and face Axl’s wrath, but for a few moments, I’m free. It’s yet crowded enough that Axl would be a fool to walk in the streets. Moments like these are when I respect Kiss and everyone who had the same idea as them: when you become famous, your face is no longer your own. It belongs to the public to use as they please. So they created new faces to give to the public and keep the ones they were born with for themselves. Staying out of the spotlight gives me a variation of the same luxury. A fan could identify me if they tried, but a casual viewer never could like how they would be able to with Axl. Being the frontman, everyone knows his face. He’d get swamped the instant he set foot outside the studio. I’m walking with my hands shoved into my jean pockets to keep them a little warmer. It might be Californian May, but it’s still nightfall and growing colder. Not enough that I’m wishing I had something warmer on, but enough that it’s starting to grow unpleasant. 

The first time I remember my intentions for leaving the studio is when I reach a cheap diner a few blocks away. The kind that looks like it employs people who spit in your food if you order anything more complicated than a burger and a soda. In short, the perfect place for a hiding musician.

The diner is empty save for a couple of skeevy patrons dotting the bar stools and other booths. A pretty sorry dinner rush, but the food looks edible enough to spend money on. Playing safely gets me a coke and a cheeseburger served in a plastic basket, somehow both looking like the most beautiful things I’d seen all day. Grease is seeping through the parchment paper lining the basket and the coke is a little flat, but it’s quiet. No strings cutting into my fingers while I played the same two minutes of a song over and over, no screaming, no more little bubble of resentment that was building up deep within me. Just soft conversations between patrons. For the first time in almost a year and a half, it’s quiet enough that I can let myself think.

A little scrap of paper’s been metaphorically burning a hole in my pocket since we began writing for the album, but I never knew what to add to it. My original idea was to write a love song for Axl, but the frustration of having nothing to say only got me more depressed. I hadn’t even tried to put anything down since I got clean.

I uncap a pen and begin to write. Nothing in particular, just a few words that could maybe be something some day. I eventually finish the cheeseburger and start dedicating my brain power to scribbling while I sip on my flat coke. The chorus is starting to come together and the verses are well on their way when someone slides into my booth across from me. I know without looking up. A pair of aviators join my field of vision of the table, but I’m not giving Axl the satisfaction of acknowledging him yet. It’s what he wants; to have the proof that I know I wronged him. So I keep at the task at hand. If he’s able to read my handwriting upside-down, he’s not saying so. Just sitting as uncaring as I am. As soon as I leave the diner, shit is going to fly. If I’m lucky, my nose will stay intact, but I’ve never been known to be that lucky before. All I do know is that the longer I sit here, the worse I’m going to have it. It’s the little quirks like that that you pick up on after 14 years with someone.

The final verse closes up under my hand as I awkwardly slurp up the last few drops of coke hidden under semi-melted ice cubes. I fold up the scrap of paper and put it back into my pocket as I get up, leaving most of my spare change on the table as a tip. I still haven’t looked Axl in the eye, but I can tell he’s been staring me down ever since he entered. When I push open the door to exit, he follows, no more than an arm’s reach away.

The first time he touches me is when we pass an alley and he grabs my by the collar to pull me in. The jolt is strong enough to startle me, but not strong enough that it hurts. He shoves me so my back is against the grimey alley wall before socking me across the jaw.

“You… Izzy, you…” He looks like he wants to saw something else, but he punches me again instead.

“…you backstabbing son of a bitch!” He figures out what he wants to saw as he swings again, but I’m ready for him this time. Ready enough that I block his arm with mine.

“Cool it, Fireball.”

“Cool it?” He chuckles like he’s in a strange sort of delirium. “You fucking throw me under the bus to deal with those fucking dipshits and you tell me to cool it?”

“I didn’t throw you under any bus you weren’t already swan-diving towards,” I counter, keeping a firm grasp on his wrist. I’ve both thrown and received my share of punches, but it doesn’t mean I’m fixing to get any more. Especially from Axl.

“You’re as bad as they are! Are you all fucking trying to mess up and delay the albums?” He’s struggling against my grasp enough that I let go. Right now, he’s not planning on hitting me anymore. Just yell a little bit and maybe pace some before the steam will be all out. We’ll kiss and we’ll go home together and we’ll call it love when deep down, we know it’s anything but.

[sweettaylormd-blog]

“There’s water in the flowers, let’s grow.”

Have you ever felt like your thoughts were taking up too much space in your head? To the point where you can’t even complete a thought because there is a whirlwind of a mess inside your mind? I’ve felt that way since Malcolm’s passing.

I used to write, a lot. It helped me cope with stress, but also intensified my happiness. At some points, it was helpful to others to know that what they are feeling is not abnormal, or weird, or different. But after Malcolm’s passing, my mind shut down. For the first time in my life, I truly understood the meaning of anxiety and being overwhelmed even by the simplest tasks. A task as simple as completing a thought. I felt like I was drowning and I felt this way for a very long time.

It’s difficult to be depressed when you are so self aware. All of my life, I have been an advocate of creating your own reality and your thoughts becoming things. I believe that if you want something bad enough, and you put in the time, effort, and work - you could do anything. Having faith, believing in a higher power, being one with the universe, whatever you want to call it - it’s real. That’s why being in such a deep depression, for me, was so hard. I was very aware that if I had changed my thought process, if I had changed my daily routine, that I would change my state of mind. However, my body and mind felt numb. I’ve referred to it as being in a coma. You can hear people talking to you, you know that they are there, but you can’t physically do anything about. I knew the right steps to take to pull myself out of this space, but I could not physically do it at the time. It took me awhile, but day by day I started to heal. I’ve learned that grief is not a straightforward path. There are good days and bad. You could be having an excellent day and then a memory punches you right in the gut and knocks the wind right out of you. I’m learning to just accept it. All you can do is accept the good and the bad and everything in between. Malcolm taught me that feeling every emotion is important and to embrace them all equally. This chapter of life without him here has been all about growth. Growing out of a depression, growing to cope with emotions, growing to appreciate everything and everyone in my life because you never know when it will all be gone.

I have a note written in my phone from my second trip to Pittsburgh. I wanted to write about it, but again, mind numbing experiences made me incapable. I couldn’t form sentences about what Pittsburgh meant to me, so I wrote words. The note says, “Awakening. Spiritual. Peaceful. Self aware. Understanding. In touch with your soul.” Pittsburgh was beautiful and the energy I felt was so real, so raw, so intense. It was so beautiful, yet so emotional. It’s similar to ripping open a healing wound just to watch it heal again, and I was okay with that. I was okay with that because it meant I already healed, or at least was in the process. The difference between a new wound healing and a reopened wound healing is that you know how to heal, you know it WILL heal, and you have braced yourself for the steps that follow. Like I said, it’s very weird to be in a very good head space, but also in a dark place.

Visiting Pittsburgh was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. I grew up seeing the city in Malcolm’s videos, hearing him speak so highly about it, and hearing that it’s a great city for ten years. Great is an understatement. I love Pittsburgh with my whole heart and soul. But walking those streets, all I heard was Malcolm’s voice in my head. I pictured him at all of the places I passed by. I used to tell him that the first time I would visit Pittsburgh, I wanted him to show me around and hook me up with all the good spots. Some places were an obvious go-to such as Blue Slide Park, Primanti’s, Jerry’s Record Store, Allderdice, and Frick Park Market. I got to share stories with Maggie and John, the owners of Frick Park Market. They told me stories about Malcolm from when he was about 15 years old up until he passed. They told me the story about him shooting the video in their store. I was able to tell them how I became a fan and how, eventually, Malcolm and I got to know each other. They told me that every fan they have met resembled Malcolm because they are all so nice, kind, and respectful. Although I am biased, I have to agree. My heart is so full of love for the macheads. A lot of us met when we were preteens and watched each other grow, graduate, start families, start jobs, move out of state, etc. Some people we have met recently but felt like we’ve known forever. The most important thing, though, is that we created these relationships with people all over the world that are genuinely concerned about our mental health, about our lives, about us. We bonded over Malcolm, but it became so much more. We have people in our lives that actually care, and that is amazing.

It’s such a beautiful thing that everyone has their own experiences with Malcolm, however, everyone shares the same opinion. He is the nicest, kindest, sweetest soul who has a heart of gold. I remember him saying that if he met someone just a couple of times, he felt as if they were best friends. That was the exact energy Malcolm sent out. He and I were able to have some really good conversations and got to see each other a handful of times - but every interaction was important and meaningful. He took the time to ask questions, to go out of his way, to make you feel important. There will never be anyone in this world to compare to him and I am so blessed, so thankful, and so happy that I got to witness his career from the beginning and be alive at the same time as him.

Thinking back on 10 years worth of memories with Malcolm, Most Dope, and the macheads make me so happy and so nostalgic, but’s heartbreaking knowing that we can never have those times back. My emotions fluctuate constantly, but right now, in this moment, I am happy. This new album makes me happy and gives me some sense of closure. It’s helping me grow. I keep it on repeat and I haven’t heard anything else since Friday. There’s so many layers to this record and I learn something new each time I play it. I wanted to share my top three favorite tracks, but in all honesty, it changes every day and it’s so hard to pick just three. Malcolm was headed in such a beautiful direction musically, professionally, and personally. He was making the music he always wanted to make. He was finding himself as a person, and, more importantly, loving who that person was. My heart hurts not being able to see what was next. I always imagined all of us being in our fifties and sixties, going to Malcolm’s jazz concerts, and talking about all the memories we shared. But life had different plans, I guess. One thing I know for sure is that even though he is not physically here, we will all keep his legacy alive and never let his name go unheard. It’s our responsibility to share our stories about him, share his music, and to simply be as kind and generous and loving as he was. There will never be another Mac Miller.

“There’s water in the flowers, let’s grow.”

[sweetsmalldog]

TGWDLM Science experiment Au pt 1

Warnings: This has moments where it’s like hey ya weirdo why didn’t you make this a Fic and the answer is I suck at actual writing so you get my weirdly in-depth at certain places outline full of bad jokes, references, and half thought out scenes, also swearing,mentioned body horror, and mentioned abuse (both mental and physical)

I’d also like to credit @cracks-open-cold-one who is fabulous and great and I love her platonically

It all starts when Emma gets assigned a biology project by Mr. Hidgens that requires her to go into the woods just a short ferry ride away from Hatchetfield.

After hours of trying to get a picture of a specific plant she stumbles apon an abandoned looking building made of metal. And while the building is creepy she can see the flower she’s been looking for growing right up against the building. So she runs up to it because the sooner she takes a picture she can go home.

But before she can take a picture she hears a voice “Hello?” And freezes because she’s alone in the woods. “Hello” the voice calls again and Emma realizes there’s a boy her age in the abandoned building who’s looking at her threw the bar-like windows.

“Hi” Emma is confused as hell because why is he in an abandoned building in the dark by himself “I’m Emma”

“I’m Paul” the boy stutters out (He’s cute she’ll admit to herself) most of his body is hidden by the darkness of the room so all she can see is his face and his upper chest (he’s wearing a hospital gown which ya know is also creepy)

And despite the fact she hates the woods and the bugs she continues the conversation with him out of curiosity and eventually once she’s able to gage his personality she asks him “why are you in there?”

Paul gives her a confused look for a second before kinda glancing to the side and going “You can’t see them?”

And Emma’s confused by that and asks “See what?” Because seriously dude it’s dark as hell in there also what

Paul steps forward so the light shows his entire upper body and HOLY SHIT HE HAS WINGS.

Emma freaks the flippity flappity fuck out because he has motherfucking angel wings.

Paul looks kinda sad? Like he was expecting this.

“How do you have wings?” Emma managed to get out. Paul gives her a look of surprise. Surprise she didn’t just run away.

“I don’t remember the entire process but I do remember a lot of injections and pain” Paul recalls wincing slightly at the memory

“Wait what?” Emma is freaking out more because she just found a human test subject and is this an evil lab because holy shit this is not how she thought she’d be spending her Saturday afternoon. “Are- Are you trapped in there?”

“Yes” Paul says without hesitating but suddenly his face fills with panic “I mean sort of! Well ya but no but Ahh!” (To summarize he is being held captive but he has issues with verbalizing it)

Emma manages to calm Paul down and get some information from him, he’s never left this building, theirs only three other people in the building two other test subjects and the doctor.

And she’s horrified that someone is literally experimenting on people and leaving them locked in the dark for hours on end so she decides that she’s gonna help Paul and the other two out of dark prison cells because that’s creepy but the ferry is leaving soon and she’s gonna need help and Paul needs to tell the others so she promises she’ll come back with a friend and help him get out.

So Emma immediately texts her (only) friend Charlotte on the boat ride home (careful not to text her anything important just incase and she figures it will be easier if she tells Charlotte face to face) and Paul gets let out of his “room” for dinner. And tells Bill and Ted (Who have ice and fire powers respectively) about Emma and how she’s going to get them out. The two of them agree to help because not being trapped in a secret lab sounds dope. The doctor, Doctor Solomon never ate in the same room as the boys and Paul knew the camera in the “cafeteria” didn’t record audio because even the Doctor doesn’t want to listen to Bill and Ted fight (only valid thing about this guy tdh)

So the next day Emma and Charlotte ferry over to the forest and walk to the lab where in the cell Paul had talked with her yesterday stood Paul and two other boys. Bill and Ted if her memory served her right. And Bill politely asked them to set back (so they did) and suddenly it got colder as Bill freezes the metal, then Ted steps forward and Paul raises him wings as if to protect Bill and himself and Ted heats the metal until it explodes

And right as their about to get out and be free to leave Emma feels something hit her neck and the world goes black

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 223: Let Me Give You a Hand

Previously on BnHA: Tomura had a flashback to when he first met All for One. AFO told him he’d spontaneously developed a rare quirk which led to him accidentally killing his entire family and his adorable dog. Baby Tenko was able to recall “fragmented images” of the incident but curiously has no clear memories of his life beforehand. But I’m sure AFO isn’t lying, him being such a stand up guy with no obvious ulterior motives here. Anyway so we also found out that the hands are supposedly all that’s left of Tomura’s family, if anyone actually buys that. And Ujiko is the one that made them. Ujiko, as it turns out, doesn’t really plan to withhold the Noumus and everything from Tomura, but he does want Tomura to prove he’s ready to handle them, and to do that he wants him to go back and win over Gigantomachia. Tomura was all “okay fine” and so Ujiko teleported him back along with the rest of the Shigaraki Squad, except for Dabi who didn’t wanna (he’d rather antagonize Hawks instead). So that’s where we’re at now. Oh and I almost forgot, but Tomura wants to destroy everything, like the whole fucking world, because he feels like that might help to ease his constant inner pain and torment. So that’s nice. What a nice chapter.

Today on BnHA: We fast-forward to mid-December. Tomura and the gang have been dueling Gigantomachia near-ceaselessly for the past month and a half. Giganto can fight for a full 48 hours (and 44 minutes) at a time without rest, so the Squad has been taking it in shifts, but since Tomura is Giganto’s main target he’s been fighting almost constantly. He seems to be in good spirits, though, and is confident they’re making progress. Anyway, so shortly after Giganto’s scheduled nap begins, Twice gets a call from Giran! Or rather, Re-Destro, calling from Giran’s phone, to brag about having kidnapped Giran. Apparently he’s been keeping busy by chopping off Giran’s fingers. Ramsay Bolton-ing it, if you will. He’s been leaving them at strategic locations across the country trying to get the League’s attention, but his buddies finally managed to hack Giran’s phone and get his contact info, so it turns out the finger-chopping wasn’t strictly necessary. So he explains who he is and what he’s about, says there are 116,516 members of the Liberation Army spread throughout the nation (did you do a fucking census?!), and explains that they have a satellite tracking Tomura’s location. He then delivers an ultimatum: come and fight, or be captured by the authorities.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so the title of this chapter is “cockroach”, which could mean anything, but is most likely being used in the “pesky little bugger who’s obnoxiously hard to kill” sense. Tomura are you the cockroach. who is the cockroach. hmm

(ETA: yeah I still don’t know. whatever)

anyway so now it’s mid-December...! holy shit what, we’re caught up?

actually, scratch that, we’re ahead of where we were before because our last update was “early December, Sunday morning” on the day of Shouto and Katsuki’s provisional license retest. shit. Tomura I’m gonna need you to stop whatever it is you’re doing and go on your phone and look up articles about the purse snatchers who were stopped by the two young heroes who placed first and second in the U.A. sports festival earlier this year. specifically I need you to find out for me what Kacchan’s fucking hero name is omfg. can you do that

Tomura. Tomura, focus

...

okay I can see that you’re busy right now. wow. okay, uh

so lol this guy’s been at it for a month?? more or less? do I have that right? Tomura how the fuck are you still alive. you really are a cockroach

also did Giganto just fucking snap you in two here or

oh I should have known

hahaha they’re so cute!

I’m honestly amazed they haven’t fucking quit. they’re still at it. this is one loyal bunch of bastards. and Tomura is showing more dogged perseverance than I ever expected him to be capable of. makes me sad for what could have been, honestly

why doesn’t Compress just compress him. you’re telling me he hasn’t managed to touch him once in the however many weeks that they’ve been at this? or maybe he has and that’s how they’ve managed to survive this long lol

anyways, so Giganto is all “WEAK!” again and now he’s doing this

so maybe that’s why Compress hasn’t been able to touch him. he got that DBZ battle aura shit going on

(ETA: he’s kinda giving me All Might vibes, actually. Deku you wanna take a crack at this?)

meanwhile Spinner and Toga are watching from a safe distance like smart people

Toga says it looks like Tomura’s in trouble, and Spinner’s all “same as always then”

also Spinner has changed out of his Stain cosplay at long last and I don’t know what to make of this you guys

this is a shockingly normal look. a hoodie and a fucking jacket. I’m just... I’m still processing this. okay you win this round Spinner

so he’s explaining for those who aren’t paying attention to the timeline that it’s been more than a month and a half since Tomura was tasked with getting Gigantomachia to chill out, and he has still not chilled out

holyyyyyyy shit

I have to assume Spinner is exaggerating things here for the sake of drama because Tomura would fucking be dead. or else he’d have quit by the second day. screw destroying the world, I’m gonna take up knitting or something

I seriously can’t believe this shit though? was this part of AFO’s plan also? talk about a way to level up your protege in record time. either he dies or he becomes the strongest bitch who ever lived. has AFO been sneaking peeks at U.A.’s lesson plans

holy shit

wow they really are true ride or dies. also Dabi 100% had the right idea. best decision you ever made Touya

but seriously though Tomura should be dead. forget just sleeping, when is he eating and drinking? are the others going on coffee and bagel runs on their breaks? are you telling me Tomura’s been fighting this guy for the past 40 days all doped up on caffeine with only cup ramen to sustain him and running on 9 days’ worth of sleep spread out over six weeks wtf. he should be dead from exhaustion or else a fucking heart attack

holy shit Horikoshi actually explained how their broke asses didn’t just up and starve to death though omg

they got an allowance awww

also Toga is still the cutest and my favorite and fuck yeah girl you tell him though. nobody wants to be running around in the woods in fucking December without a fucking coat, Spinner

interesting that she’ll steal a bikini but not a jacket lol. nah we’re paying for that like good honest citizens

holy shit Spinner you’re still having your identity crisis?

I can’t decide if Horikoshi is setting things up to have him jump ship and join Detnerat (what with him feeling increasingly disillusioned with the League, and Destro’s philosophy being something that would almost certainly appeal to someone with his quirk and history), or purposely trying to make it seem like he is so that he can subvert everyone’s expectations and have him unexpectedly remain loyal to Tomura at the critical moment. kinda like what happened when Katsuki got captured. right now I’m leaning more to him defecting though; I think that plot would open up a lot more possibilities story-wise

(ETA: after reading Toga’s latest chapter I’ve swung back around on this. the Liberation Army is full of fucking phonies who don’t practice what they preach. look at how Kizuki was trying to make Toga into a martyr for their cause. I feel like Spinner would be able to see through their bullshit. hopefully.)

by the way you guys has Ochako always been on this list or is this a recent development??

and I love you, Toga! even though this in no way even comes close to answering Spinner’s question though! it’s okay it was foolish of him to ask

(ETA: so apparently she loves Ochako because she ships her and Deku! this is one of the most relatable things in this manga to date.)

lol

hush you that’s what makes her so perfect

and now I guess some time is passing and now they’re finally getting to take a break!

you know, that’s a good point about him eating. he’s gotta power himself up somehow. all quirks have a limit, we’ve known that since very early on. at some point Giganto has to reach his, right?

holy shit you guys

I just got some strong Katsuki vibes coming off of our resident crazyboy here and I need a moment to process this. damn. that’s some powerful character development from a guy whose signature move up till this point was sitting on a couch

Spinner’s watching him and thinking that Tomura’s gaze looks like that of “a young boy chasing his dreams”

yeah, his dream of destroying the whole world and everything in it. so pure

oh FUCK

YOUR BOY GIRAN WHO’S CURRENTLY BEING HELD BY DETNERAT?? THAT GIRAN? UH

lol Compress is telling Twice to ask if his robot arm is insured. Giran has bigger things to worry about than your arm dude. if this even is Giran calling and Giran isn’t fucking dead, since we do know this series isn’t above killing people off every now and then, and we had quite the disturbing image of what looked like a finger lying on what was apparently Giran’s signature scarf in the last chapter

Twice is saying that Giran is a real good guy and that he looked out for Twice even after he joined the League

ffffff he really is fucking dead huh

lmao but because it’s Twice he then immediately shouts at Giran for being an asshole and not answering Compress’s calls

OH FUCK

FUCK ME YOU GUYS GIRAN WAS FUCKING TORTURED TO DEATH. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS SERIES KEEP ESCALATING ITS LEVELS OF HARDCORE WHEN IT COMES TO VILLAINS

so Compress is stupidly asking if Giran’s using a voice changer, but Twice has already conned on to what’s going on

oh fuck oh shit oh fucking shit

Compress is immediately whipping out his phone

OH FUSCK

JUST VILLAIN THINGS

fuck me this fucking series not pulling any punches. “what timeslot does the anime currently run in, again?” Horikoshi asks absentmindedly while he proceeds to not give a flying fuck one way or the other

ksdjlfkjw jesus fucking christ

IS THIS FUCKING GAME OF THRONES??! are you fucking for real with this shit??! AND SURE, WHY NOT, LET’S JUST DRAW THE FUCKING FINGER JUST LYING THERE ON THE SIDEWALK

BREAKING NEWS, JUST ANNOUNCED, SEASON 5 OF THE RUNAWAY ANIME HIT “MY HERO ACADEMIA” TO AIR EXCLUSIVELY ON HBO

oh hold up lol there’s more

well fuck me y’all if that ain’t a whole fucking hand

and fuck me also because the site of All Might’s last stand against AFO in Kamino is officially known as Ground Zero and it’s commemorated with a fucking statue and everything. my Kacchan hero name theory is decimated, Ground Zero as Kacchan’s hero name is fucking confirmed and if it is the case I’m going to get extremely emotional now at what his obvious reasons would be for choosing that name holy shit though

(ETA: although to be fair! what’s written in the chapter here is グラウンドゼロ (Guraundozero), whereas Bakugou’s name from those old character book sketches was  爆心地 (Bakushinchi). so it’s not quite the same! I feel like it’s still up in the air. I really just need this to be settled already lol. can you tell by the way I keep bringing it up multiple times each chapter even though this is an arc about the fucking villains for pete’s sake.)

-- oh shit he’s right. so we’ve got the Eight Precepts’ house, Hosu City, the Highway to Hell, Kamino, and now Fukuoka. you guys if memory serves, that is indeed every known League of Villains incident location... except for one. the very first one. as if U.A. needed any more reason to be on edge lately holy christ. let’s hope to god they don’t start chopping off the other hand

oh snap Joker’s got himself a name now!

Redestro? or ReDestro? lol that’s one of those names that looks fine in all-caps comic book letters but when typed out like this it looks stupid as hell

(ETA: I’m going with Re-Destro since it looks the least weird to me. idk.)

wow Tomura you’ve had time to keep up with the NY Times bestselling list while fighting for your life for the last six weeks? I’m impressed

this kid is not in a mood to play nice with others today and I’m loving it

Twice. where the fuck do you think Giran is. smdh

wow, Re-Destro says he’s actually still alive. hey you don’t have to show us what kind of condition he’s in, Horikoshi. just putting that out there. we have functioning imaginations, we get it. we’re good

(ETA: he’s actually doing a lot better than I thought he’d be. though I still want to take him home and wrap him up in a blanket and make him watch Jaime’s redemption arc in GoT and see if he gets inspired.)

anyway so Re-Des says they’re gonna destroy the status quo and rebuild the world into a place where everyone is free to use their powers to their full extent whenever

wow, Compress

um idk maybe because they chopped your broker’s fucking fingers off??? were you guys not tight with Giran or what? poor dude suffered some horrific shit all because he didn’t want to sell you fuckers out. least you could do is be offended

meanwhile Tomura wants to get a raincheck on this whole affair because he has other pressing matters to deal with right now

at least he told them to release Giran

oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck

where are they?? an observation tower somewhere??

jesus christ is that blood on his lap there??

how are his arms even tied behind him if he’s missing a fucking hand????

(ETA: genuinely curious about that last one though lol.)

wow Re-Destro is really testing the League’s empathy levels here

well, Tomura, that’s some pretty fucked up shit he did to your guy. what do you think. are you even slightly horrified. pissed off?

oh shit you guys!!

HE DIDN’T EVEN TALK. THIS MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T BREAK, THEY HAD TO HACK HIS PHONE WITH THEIR MAD IT SKILLS IN ORDER TO GET THE LEAGUE’S CONTACT INFO. AND GIRAN LOOKS FUCKING HORRIFIED OH MY GOD

guys I can’t believe Giran is my new favorite character I s2g Horikoshi if you touch him again I’ll

...anyway. let’s do this whole two-page spread now because I’m super hyped in spite of my also being horrified by everything

FEEL GOOD INC. is that a fucking Gorillaz reference in my fucking shounen manga about superheroes. do I need to analyze me some lyrics. I can’t actually see any connection lol aside from it being a badass name for a villain corporation

guys I can’t believe Kizuki is my new favorite character I s2g Horikoshi if you touch her I’ll

oh hey, cool, shouldn’t be too hard to take these guys out. they’ve just got billions of dollars (presumably) and one hundred thousand soldiers lying in wait ready to rise to action at a moment’s notice, their words not mine. cool. cool cool cool cool cool cool cool we’re fucked

OH SHIT

is that why he’s in that observation place? fucking hell, how?

OH SHIT, AGAIN

HOW FUCKING NOBLE OF Y’ALL. though honestly I guess if we have to pick between the villains with the 12 Noumus of the Apocalypse who want to destroy everything, or the villains capable of running a successful business who just want people with quirks to be free, objectively the latter group is a better bet to side with

except for the fact that the latter group is totally cool with snapping their poor mouse secretary’s neck just because he didn’t like their book. and they’re also down to chop off a guy’s fingers one by one just to make a damn point. so yeah, pardon me but I’m gonna side with the League here in spite of everything

wow what the hell kind of negotiations are these??

so you just called to tell them that? “hi hello just wanted to introduce myself and let you all know I hate you and here’s how fucking screwed you are lol have fun with that”

haha hey Horikoshi what the fuck

(ETA: so yeah this is that same hand gesture that he’s doing in the panel immediately after this one. I guess it’s just their thing. these guys think they’re so fucking cool. it’s not cool to chop off people’s hands, Re-Destro!!)

I can’t believe I have to deal with this shit on the same day I’m posting the damn mushroom chapter recap

oh wow okay so he is actually giving them a chance here

lol wow this fucking arc. holy shit

but who was cockroach. well whatever. fucking villain arcs though, you guys. omg

[doctorstarinken]

One Time For TeedaMac

Troye,

I’ll never forget the day we met. I pulled up to the studio at CalArts not expecting much to be honest. Nikko had told me he was going to bring a rapper and I my general attitude was “Yea, okay. Sure.” 

You were a big dude, man. But you were a different big dude. Kind of like a Patrice O’Neal, Shaq, Biggie kind of big dude. Physically big, huge personality, big laugh, and more importantly you had a huge heart. There was a quiet confidence you displayed while you patiently waited your turn to hop on the mic that evening. Most people get -- myself included -- don’t really know how to act inside a studio. I’ve learned to tame that part of myself by being really, really enthusiastic and be really encouraging of everyone’s creative process. You’re not like that though. You just sat back patiently, cracked jokes, and picked our brains on our collective views on music. 

That’s the other thing that won me over. I could sense that you were just a big music lover and music nerd. You asked me my views on trap, and I gave you some bullshit generic response to which you replied, “That doesn’t really tell me your opinion though.” I respected that. Before you even knew me, you had a charming gall to you to say what needed to be said. 

Fast forward to when you got behind the mic.

Man... there are a few musical moments I remember vividly. The first time I conducted an orchestra, my undergraduate audition, my first day as a contracted/hired songwriter in a large studio, the first rehearsal I ever had with the lady who later become my wife, and the first time I heard you jump behind that Neumann. 

Everything about your performance that evening was so flawless. Your voice, the lyrics, the flow, content, vibe, et al. You just had everything, man. And the best thing about it, you were fucking cooler than ice cold, bruh. You can spot talent by how hard -- or in this case, how not hard-- someone is working. There has always been such an ease in your delivery. Even when you fucked up, it was done with grace. 

__

Just as I’ll never forget the evening we met, I’ll never forget the day Nikko called me to deliver the bad news. I was in Honolulu teaching underprivileged high-school students how to film score using affordable software and was lucky enough to work in a truly world-class studio. The folks who contracted me were also kind enough to allow me to use the studio to work on whatever projects I wanted to work on as long as I had finished working on the student projects beforehand. 

It was exciting. I was flown out to Hawaii, was given a ridiculous per diem, didn’t have to pay out of pocket for lodging, and more importantly, I was working in the same studio that where a lot of my favorite records were made. 

The plan was to get a lot of post-production out of the way for our project. Seemed like the perfect situation. Get flown out, work in a dope studio, and work on your own personal projects after-hours. What could possibly go wrong?

Just like I’ll never forget the evening that I first heard you rap, I’ll never be able to shake the feeling I got when Nikko called me and told me you were diagnosed with cancer. 

__

I gotta be honest. I still can’t believe you were diagnosed with cancer. I still can’t believe you didn’t beat it. I still can’t believe you’re gone.

Intellectually speaking, I know you’re not here. What I mean to say is that, I recall visiting you before you got transferred to Keck and that I recall driving up to Fresno to see you for the first time since I got the news. I remember the day you called me and told me you were in a hospital in LA and that I could come visit you. I remember the weekends I’d spend with you kicking your ass on 2k and saying something along the lines of “Son, even if your make-a-wish was to get better at 2k, I’d still kick your ass. Fuck you. Guard this money ass three pointer.” I remember making jokes about how I preferred when you were incapacitated because at least you didn’t talk back. Honestly I think the nurses were a bit shocked, but we just had that relationship. We could say the most fucked up things to each and laugh about it. 

During the day of your memorial, your pastor said that you fought. You fought everyday to survive and you battled this bullshit disease until you couldn’t and that the rest of us in the memorial should do the same. That is to fight everyday for life. 

Truthfully, I haven’t fought everyday since you passed. It’s difficult. In my own selfish understanding, it wasn’t just that I lost a friend and a brother, I lost my fucking career. I poured everything I had into our record and while it’s very painful for me to listen back to it, I know it’s fucking good. It’s one of those things where I actually don’t care for people’s opinions about this record because I know it’s good and if someone doesn’t like it, it’s not for them. We made this record for us and we were about ready to usher in a new paradigm shift in hip-hop.

I know that probably sounds hyperbolic as fuck, but what good does believing in a record I can no longer perform in public do for me? Whether we were actually as good as I think we are is irrelevant, I knew we were going to the very top because I finally had a proper MC in my corner who saw eye-to-eye with me and an MC who could body any piece of music I gave them. 

You elevated what I wrote. Without you, everything I wrote were just these bland academic exercises in showing people how well I can music. You gave my work heart and soul and turned it into art. 

But now you’re gone and you have been since October. And as much as I’d love to fondly look back at our short time together and as much as I like to imagine of what we were both robbed of, I don’t think it’s really healthy for me to do so anymore. 

__

I’ve always wondered about the human soul since I was a child. My grandfather died when I was very young, followed by my uncle, and during my teenage years my other uncle quite literally died in my arms. I’m not a stranger to death. I grew up christian so every Sunday I was reminded of the death and resurrection of Christ. 

But for whatever reason, your passing really hit me hard. I wish I could say that I’d see you again some day, but I really don’t know where we go when our time on Earth is done and I think that’s what scares me the most. The idea that all I’ll ever have are the memories I shared with you is the scariest part. We didn’t know each other that long, but we grew close. You got to know me and I got to know you through our shared work. The music I presented to you was a tangible representation of my best self as expressed through sound. In turn, you gave me the best representation of yourself through your lyrics. 

Collaboration is a sacred bond. My friend, Max, who I so wish you got to meet, told me that when he got on the phone with me to console me after he had learned I was grieving your loss. While there are a lot of things I don’t know about the nature of reality, I can say with full confidence that my favorite thing about being an artist is the communion that occurs where people are in a room trying to create something out of nothing. While I don’t know where we go after we die, I do believe in the divine because I have experienced with when working with talented people like yourself. There is a quiet agreement that we are all trying transcend our current situation and hopefully share that with the world. 

Teeda, you were more than a friend and collaborator. You were my brother. I didn’t grow up with biological brothers, but there is an old adage that goes “you don’t have to be blood to be brothers.” While blood is thicker than water, the frequencies we pushed out into existence is the only connection I need to call you family. 

While I wish I could wipe you from my memory as having to live with the fact that one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever known has left at such a young age is too painful, I know that your spirit will always live on. I see your face in Alonzo’s and I’m always so hyped whenever Joss shares pictures of your son on her IG.  

I wish it had worked out differently. I wish you had beat cancer and that we had gone on the road and fucking killed stages from here all the way to Manila. I wish we had more time to make more music and that we could have made your wildest dreams come true. I wish you could have shown your mom just how ridiculously talented her son is. (She shared me that story on how she asked her A&R friend to talk you out of rapping only for him to be like “Yo, he’s actually super dope. He’s a little raw, but if he keeps at it he can be something.”) I’m not sure if you heard, but at the end of your days at City of Hope, your mom would play our song all the time and the nurses and medical staff would always look in amazement that it was our song playing. One dude even said that you sound like J. Cole. I mean... I’m not the biggest J. Cole fan, but I know you loved him and thought he was better than Kendrick. I still think that opinion is mad trash, but you’re dead now so I guess you literally took that stance to your grave. Respect. 

I had so many plans for us. I really did believe we could have done whatever the fuck we wanted to. You made us that good. But I have to let those plans go as I have to let you go. I wish I didn’t have to, but I gotta do like you and fight for my life everyday that I’m on this planet.

Working with you to craft the songs we have crafted will always be one of the highest honors I will ever undertaken in my life. Knowing that someone as talented as you considered me a friend, brother, and a collaborator will always be one of the highest compliments that anyone can ever bestow upon me. 

Rest easy, OG. I truly hope we can chop it up in another dimension when my time here is through. I’ll keep a lookout on Zo for you. I promise. 

-DMR