#actually ended up watering this down because I felt uncomfortable drawing the Actual idea I had for some of the panels :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

2jaeh · 3 years

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FREAKS THE PREQUEL : TAEYONG X TEN X READER

genre: smut, humor

warnings: poly themes, alcohol, some drug use, threesome, oral M and F receiving, semi-public, fxm, mxm, just a lot of smut related tags tbh

word count : 11,8 K

AUTHOR SIN

Everyone had heard of you but where did the story begin ?

This is the prequel to FREAKS (Jaehyun x reader) a story of why the entire campus were almost certain that you Taeyong and Ten were in a poly affair.

A/N: before anyone asks I will be doing a part two of Freaks w Jaehyun, I needed to get this part out first! Also commissions are open on my fiverr and let me know in my inbox what you think of this series!

0. Prequel

1. Freaks pt 1

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You always wondered what it was like to fit in. Whether people rarely stared, that It didn’t matter what music you listened to or how you dressed as long as you followed the quota you were good. But four months into university made you quickly realise that it wasn’t easy making friends as people made it out to be. Being in the art department, you took notice of a few people that met your requirements but after an exchange or two the conversation fell flat and it would feel like you were back to square one.

You sat your sketchbook down on the wooden table situated at the back of the fine arts classroom and slumped into the chair waiting for class to begin. Your eyes watched every person that sauntered through those indigo doors. Hippies, wannabe tattoo artists, rich kids who took art just to prove they’re cultured, and the ones who weren’t worth remembering.

“Today we will explore life drawings so pull out the items I asked you to collect and partner up with the person seated next to you” your lecturer clapped his hands as the classroom filled with shuffling of seats and small greetings.

You turned to your left and noticed a black haired boy with a mullet cut passed out on the desk. You had seen him at a few parties but you’ve only exchanged less than a sentence with him.

Grabbing your pencil you poked his exposed arm until he groaned and stretched his arms out in front of him yawning, “Are we done already ?”

“We just started, and were partners” you faked a smile and shifted your desk closer to him.

“Oh shit sorry, you’re y/n right ?” He asked, his voice was soft and friendly. His cat-like eyes blinked cutely as he adjusted his loose shirt and turned his body to face you, “you were at Jungwoo’s party last week.”

“Oh yeah I was” you chuckled scratching the back of your head, “You…are Ten Lee, I remember your strip club design project. It was pretty awesome”

Ten’s eyes lit up at your words and you felt a sense of warmth emanating from him. It felt genuine unlike most people on this campus and you couldn’t believe it took you this long to even talk to him.

“I tend to see how far I can go before the faculty calls my parents in” he snickered and began pulling out his drawing equipment from his overly decorated tote bag. You mimicked his actions and in turn pulled out the items your lecturer had asked you to collect. Personal trinkets he said, three items that you think represented you.

You looked around at the nearby desks and noticed a lot of the same items placed on everyone's desk. Candles, AirPods, tea boxes, vinyls and anything else you would find on ‘art hoe Tumblr 101’. You annoyingly rolled your eyes as you looked down at your own equipment.

A rusty old key you had found in your room, the cigarette butt of the last one you smoked since you’d quit, and of course the grand finale, an anime figurine of a woman with boobs bigger than her head. Perfect.

“Hentai is…..your identifier ?” Ten stifled his laughter as he grabbed the figurine from your desk and closely examined her clothing, or lack thereof.

“I actually stole that from the store my ex worked at but yeah we can go with that, what is yours ?”

You watched Ten remove the items from his bag and your eyes widened at one item in particular, “dude is that a vibrator ?” You questioned and Ten grinned, holding up the palm sized gadget and switched it on briefly before turning it off and flinging it on his desk, “yeah I identify strongly with it” he shrugged.

“How exactly?” You quizzed him as the boy, still poker faced, played with the rings on his fingers.

“Vibrators pleasure people, and I do the same, there's no lore to it y/n”

“Good to know I guess” you pressed your lips together and you felt Ten tug on your arm until his lips were against your ear,

“You wanna skip and try it out in the bathroom ?”

———————————————————————————————————

You had no idea what the fuck was going on but within minutes you and Ten were walking down the hall to the nearest bathroom after he explained to the lecturer that the two of you had to hand in a business assignment a couple doors down. Ten pulled you into the girls bathroom and looked under each stall until he realised you two were the only ones in here.

“What the fuck is happening right now” you walked hand in hand with him into the last stall and leaned against the cold tiled wall.

“You about to get one of the best orgasms ever that's what” Ten bit down on his lip cheekily and found the slit of your floral skirt and pushed it to the side, revealing your black laced panties on full display for him.

As Ten’s fingers slowly began making its way to your core you smacked his hand, causing him to look up with wide eyes, “What ?”

“At least kiss me first, how am I supposed to get in the…mood?” Ten chuckled at your words and raised his hands amusingly, “Okay Okay I didn’t think this would be a whole ordeal”

You rolled your eyes and pulled Ten by his neck into a deep kiss that actually surprised the both of you. Each side was filled with lust as your tongue moved against his and fought for dominance. Ten pressed his body against you roughly, earning a moan from both of you once you felt your bodies connect in the most passionate way. Kissing him was different, It completely changed the way you looked and felt about him. He went from being the cute cat boy in your class to probably one of the sexiest people you had ever met. Ten roughly bit your lip and smirked into the kiss when he felt your nails dig into his shoulder. He quickly used the opportunity to slip his hands in-between your legs which you politely parted for him and ran a finger over your core.

“Oh shit” you breathed against his lips as he moved the material out of the way and slipped his finger inside with ease. His finger moved slowly in and out of you while his lips were still attached to yours not missing a second of that mouth-watering kiss. You had no idea when his finger was replaced with the vibrator but the sensation made you break away from the kiss and throw your head back in ecstasy, not knowing when was the last time you even felt like this. The combination of Ten’s wet kisses on your neck and the vibrator completely destroying you, it was happening. The orgasm of the fucking century was approaching. You would like to believe that you were only at your breaking point because you hadn’t hooked up with anyone in a while not because Ten was this good. But he was. He was fucking amazing and this was just a taste, just an introduction to him.

Ten increased the speed of the vibrator until your legs were shaking and clasped his hand over your mouth to prevent the whole department from hearing you coming undone.

“Fuck..” You sighed, holding onto his shoulders for support as you tried catching your breath, “yeah the whole pleasure analogy between you and the vibrator….I get it.”

“Glad to be of service” Ten stuck his tongue in his cheek and began neatening his outfit before hooking arms with you and walking out of the bathroom. You already had no intention of going back to class anytime soon so the two of you ended up wandering the halls of the pristine campus, hoping the day would pass away.

“Y/n” you heard a voice call from behind you, not your favourite voice in the world.

“Fuck” you sighed and turned around, watching the tall black haired man make his way over to you. You watched a cocky smile spread across his face as he came over, his tall frame standing over you and Ten.

“What do you want Jinyoung ?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at him and folded your arms.

The boy bit down on his lip and moved his hair out of his face, “I just came to say hi y/n do you have to be so rude ?” He scoffed and raised his eyebrow at Ten, “got a new boy toy ?”

“What Ten and I do is honestly none of your business” you responded coldly, Ten immediately putting two and two together and stifled a laughter before smiling up at Jinyoung,

“Oh you’re the ex boyfriend ? Is this the one who finishes in 10 seconds ?” Tens words caught you off guard causing you to let out a chuckle and Jinyoung to shift uncomfortably in his spot. He tried his best to stay composed but his red ears told a different story.

“That’s probably someone else, you know she’s been around the block” he licked his lips and folded his arms across his chest.

“Anyway do you want something ? We gotta go back to class” you rolled your eyes and rested your head on Tens shoulder.

“Come out with me tonight, you know I always get guestlist to varsity parties” Jinyoung said and Ten waved his hand in front of his face startling Jinyoung, “I have plans with her, so maybe next time” Ten pulled you down the hall before Jinyoung could get in another word. You couldn’t help but turn back and take in his dumbstruck frame as the two of you furthered away from him and headed back to class.

“We have plans ?” You asked as the two of you slipped back into your seats and Ten propped his legs up on the table and leaned back,

“Yeah there’s a party at that guy Wooyoung's place tonight and we’re going” Ten stretched his arms above his head, “wear something sexy so I’m not standing out.”

————————————————————————-

Of Course listening to Tens words and knowing the kind of closet you were working with it wasn’t that hard to not stand out. You opted for a cute little baby blue mini dress that was tight enough to show off your curves and a pair of holographic combat boots. Your favourite part was always getting to match your eye make up to your outfit. Drawing on an intricate design that accentuated your big round eyes almost made you doll-like.

You retrieved your phone and noticed you received a text from Ten, who had already updated an outfit pic on story. A very low buttoned down black shirt and black shiny pants that had a fucking garter around his leg ?

Yeah he was hot and the both of you knew it.

You grabbed the last of your things and made your way downstairs to Ten who was waiting at the dorm house entrance. Unconsciously biting on your lip you were welcomed by his slender figure posted up against the fence with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He looked straight out of a movie.

“God finally….holy shit you look hot!” He whistled and pulled you into a tight hug before pulling you into a kiss and grabbed your waist. The kiss was indeed surprising even though earlier that day he was practically fucking your brains out.

His lips were soft and sweet, laced with a hint of the menthol cigarette from earlier. Ten finally pulled away and he gave your ass a cheeky squeeze before handing you his half burnt cigarette,

“Let’s have a wild fucking night then shall we ?”

Taking the cigarette from him you took a drag and blew the smoke up into the air forgetting about your sobriety and watched it disappear in the night sky, “let’s go.”

The night was cold but quite a few people were all over the residence roads, making their way to various parties or down to the bars where the rowdiness had already begun.

“Shit I really should’ve brought something to pre drink” Ten sighed and pulled out his phone.

“Who are you texting ?” You asked, trying to match his quick footsteps as yall began nearing the busy part of the street.

“Yuta, you know that tattoo guy ? He always has a bottle on him” Ten explained as you followed him into a narrow corner and saw a group of people gathered at the steps of the building. You noticed a few people from your department hanging around but the most noticeable person was in fact Yuta Nakamoto. His long black hair, pierced ears and tatted up body was hard to miss. You got a tattoo from him once and it almost ended with him making out with you on his work desk.

But that was a story both of you agreed to forget.

“Ten and y/n, weird combination but I’m not really surprised, what’s up ?” Yuta grinned and handed Ten the bottle of vodka while pulling you into a quick hug.

“Yeah it’s called matching each other’s energy” Ten winked at you and took a shot of vodka straight out of the bottle before handing it to you. You eyed the clear bottle up and down knowing your kidneys were screaming at you right now but fuck you hated walking into a party without a slight buzz going. You took the bottle and took a shot before wincing at the bitter taste and the fiery sensation that was now running down your throat. “You ready ?” Ten grinned holding out his hand and you placed your hand in his, nodding a thank you to Yuta and his friends before entering the chaotic party.

There were people of all kinds inside. Some from your department, some from God knows where. All you could see were lingering eyes on you and Ten as you stepped inside. Some people made it obvious that they were staring, hoping that maybe you’d strike up a conversation with them. Others just peeked and gossiped amongst their friends as they stared at the outfits that you and Ten adorned.

“What else do you expect from people who sleep around with drug dealers” you and Ten overheard a girl say as the two of you made your way over the kitchen for drinks.

“Drug Dealers ? Geez that’s the first” Ten scoffed and sifted for a cider in the cooler.

“None of that bothers you does it ?” You smiled, intrigued as the cat-eyed boy barely noticed a few people checking him out from behind the counter.

Ten handed you a drink and leaned up against the counter taking a sip of the cold liquid before shrugging,

“Why should I let it bother me ? It’s not like their lives are interesting that I want to fit in with them, I mean their lives revolve around talking shit about me” Ten giggled and took another sip of his drink.

His confidence was extremely attractive and his words resonated with you. It made you wonder if maybe you thought too much about it at times even though you didn’t care to conform to society norms of an average varsity student. Hanging out with Ten for just one day already gave you more life, more energy than anyone prior in your university. Ten wasn’t hesitant to show you that he felt the same way either. To him it was fate that he had sat next to you earlier today because he finally found someone worth keeping his attention.

“There’s something about you y/n I just feel like we get each other” he scratched his head and looked over at you, “it’s so easy just hanging out with you without feeling so fucking drained.”

“I feel the exact same way, like don’t get me wrong I like hanging out with the likes of Yuta and that guy Hendery in our class, but it’s different with you” You grabbed Tens hand and he squeezed your hand tightly,

“Here’s to tolerating only each other.”

You and Ten toasted and downed the last of the cider before heading to the dance floor filled with people who either despised you or wanted to be you.

As the two of you danced it felt like the room was moving in slow motion, the mixture of the smoke filled room to the loud music and alcohol in your system made you feel euphoric. As you danced the night away, you had no idea when you and Ten had separated on the dance floor but a sudden tug on your arm snapped you out of your daydream to face a harsh reality.

Jinyoung.

“Please leave me alone” you groaned as he wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his mouth against your ear,

“Baby I’m sorry when are we going to put all that shit behind us ?” He groaned, slipping his hands to your sides and squeezed gently.

“You cheated on me asshole did you forget ?” You shrugged out of his grip and pushed by the bodies of people trying to make your way to the backyard for fresh air.

The small garden was filled with people having intimate conversations and someone throwing up in a bush at the back. Normal house party shenanigans.

You rolled your eyes when you noticed Jinyoung had followed you out already trying to put his hands on you once again. “Would you stop ? Why don’t you run after the girl you had in your bed when we were together” you spat and headed for a bench.

“You know what, keep resisting, that’s why your ass is sitting here alone” Jinyoung retorted and pushed his way back into the party.

You groaned and sat on the empty seat far away from the party, finally able to hear yourself think and breath in fresh air. You were about to slip back into a calmer state when you felt someone drop in the seat next to you and as your thoughts expected it was Jinyoung, it ended up being a boy you had never seen before.

“Hi, sorry I didn’t mean to startle you” the boy said, his big round eyes sparkled under the night sky. His body was petite like Ten but he was broader in the shoulder department and had the most innocent face you’d ever seen.

“Oh it’s not a problem” you replied, still taking in his striking features. The boy brought a small metal flask to his lips and took a shot before offering the drink to you,

“It’s tequila” he smiled and you mouthed a thank you before shooting back a bit of the drink and handed it back to him.

“I’m y/n….I haven’t seen you around before” you quizzed as the boy set down his flask and ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

“I’m Taeyong, I’m actually new here” he replied and wet his lips with his tongue, “I’ll start in the art and design department on Monday.”

“I’m in that department, well welcome to hell” you grinned and held out your hand. Taeyong grinned and took your hand in his and gave you a firm handshake before scooting closer. As much as you convinced yourself he had the most adorable and innocent face you’d ever seen, there was a hint of mischief in his eyes.

“I just came here to get drunk and get laid but like everyone’s looking at me weird” Taeyong goofily laughed and you joined in, “can’t help you there, I’ve been in that position for a few months now” Taeyongs eyebrows raised at your words and jumped to his feet, holding out his hand for you to take,

“We both have nothing better to do so let’s get wasted.”

You and Taeyong set up a couple shots and downed everything in one go, not bothering about anyone around you or what they had to say. Taeyong was hilarious, his face was animated as he talked which made you laugh, something about him drew you in like a moth to a flame.

The two of you went from casual talk to dancing together and you didn’t mind the closeness, especially when he danced so fucking well against your body. You had no idea when it happened but Taeyong had spun you to face him while the two of you danced and your bodies were practically merged together as Taeyongs lips inched closer and closer until you felt him practically getting dragged away.

“Yo what the fuck man” Taeyong shouted as Jinyoung had a fist full of Taeyongs shirt and escorted him outside. A few people pushed past you to see the commotion before you processed what the hell had just happened.

Making your way through the curious crowd you watched as Taeyong and Jinyoung squared up in the middle of the garden for everyone to see.

“What the hell are you doing with my girl, man ?” Jinyoung shoved Taeyong who stumbled back, the alcohol not helping his balance in any way. You rushed toward them as Taeyong found his footing and pushed Jinyoung right back, he was definitely way stronger than he looked.

“Jinyoung I’m not your girl you moron” you snapped and tried to stand in front of Taeyong before things got any worse.

Jinyoung scoffed and took a step forward, challenging you but you stood your ground even though your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol in your system.

“You’re defending this nobody ? Y/n you’ve really hit rock bottom now haven’t you ?” Jinyoung said, loud enough for every person to hear. This was one of his traits that you hated most.

Gaslighting.

When Jinyoung knew he had lost you it resulted in insults, manipulation, making you feel like you needed him more than he needed you. But it never worked and it drove him insane.

“Hey it’s not her fault she decided to drop the dead weight in her life” Taeyong shrugged and took a step forward, “don’t worry I’ll make sure she gets satisfied in any way she wants.”

Before you could even respond Jinyoung swung at Taeyong, hitting him right in the jaw before two other men stepped in and held him back. You rushed over to check on Taeyong who instead of showing signs of anger or pain, was laughing.

Laughing with a bruise on the side of his jaw, unphased by what had just happened. Jinyoung muttered curses as the guys dragged him away from the garden and the crowds of people finally dispersed, unsatisfied with the lackluster of the fight.

“Are you okay ?” You sighed helping him up and took him to the side of the house where it was more secluded from the public. You shone your phone light to get a better look at his bruise and Taeyong winced at both the sudden light and the throb from the hit.

“I’m fine I’m fine, it’s really okay” he chuckled and leaned against the wall pulling you with until you were inches away from his face.

You had no idea why, especially considering you just saw him get hit in the face, you leaned in to kiss him. Whether it be the alcohol or the adrenaline from the fight you just found Taeyong to be so goddamn hot in this moment. Taeyong moaned into the kiss as he slipped his tongue into your mouth and massaged circles on your lower back. Your lips moved against his slowly and passionately, smirking into the kiss when he bit down on your lip cheekily.

“God there you are”

Your kiss quickly broke when you heard the high tone of Tens voice and he made his way over to you and Taeyong.

“What the hell happened, I heard that idiot Jinyoung was harassing you again and-“ Tens eyes turned to Taeyong against the wall and pointed to him with his index finger, “who the heck is this ?”

“Uh this is Taeyong, he helped me with the Jinyoung issue” you scratched your head and Taeyong half waved at Ten before clutching his jaw.

“Uhm okay” Ten pressed his lips together, “let’s go back to my dorm I’ve had enough of these Neanderthals...Taeyong you can come too.”

————————————————————————-

The three of you finally arrived at Ten’s dorm in silence. You and Taeyong shifted awkwardly in the middle of Ten’s bedroom, not knowing exactly what to do. Looking around you noticed Ten had an eye for interior design. His furniture was quite outlandish for a dorm room yet it was surprisingly homey.

“God please sit or do something you guys are making me uncomfortable” Ten groaned, kicking off his boots and discarding his shirt. Taeyong opted for the office chair near Ten’s desk and you took a seat at the very edge of Ten’s single sleeper while he lay on his back next to you on his phone.

“You guys like sushi ? I'm feeling for sushi” Ten hummed scrolling through a food ordering app completely oblivious to the awkwardness that still sat in the room.

“Sushis good” you nodded,

“Yeah I don't mind either” Taeyong added but winced when he felt the sharp, still very prominent pain in his jaw.

“Ten you got an ice pack or something ?” You sighed, jumping off the bed and rummaged through Ten’s mini fridge. “Yeah right at the back” Ten replied, still trying to place his order for the late night meal. You retrieved the ice pack and knelt down in front of Taeyong who smiled shyly as you placed the ice pack over his swollen jaw. Taeyong silently thanked you for your kindness and applied pressure to his jaw as you decided to take a seat beside his chair, to make him feel a little more comfortable in your friends bedroom.

“Okay” Ten threw his phone aside and sat up to look at the two of you with inquisitive eyes,” yall gonna tell me what happened here ?”

“Well I lost you on the dancefloor and Jinyoung found me” you began, Ten already rolling his eyes at the sound of Jinyoung’s name,

“I went outside and Taeyong approached me, he’s going to be starting at our department on Monday and he didn't know anybody, so I offered my friendship in a form of alcohol and having a good time” you smiled and Ten scoffed.

“Jinyoung saw you guys just drinking and decided to rearrange his face ?” Ten raised his eyebrow, he definitely knew there was more to it considering the two of you were sucking each other's faces off in a dark alley.

“Okay so we were quite close, and honestly does Jinyoung need any other reason ? He wanted to punch you this morning” you groaned.

“Yeah but I was literally fucking you in a bathroom stall with my vibrator y/n”

Taeyong’s eyes widened at Ten’s words and looked between the two of you frantically, “Wait you guys are together, I mean hooking up ? Why did you kiss me ?” he questioned while Ten just laughed it off and turned on his bluetooth speaker.

“Chill, we're not together you can have a little relationship if you want to” Ten smirked, stretching his arms above his head, “honestly if you wanna hook up now I like watching.”

“God shut up, and none of us want a relationship. We just got there to have fun and Jinyoung ruined everything” you groaned, leaning your head back against Taeyong’s leg as he finally returned to tend to his bruise.

“All this aside do you guys mind if I hang out with you ? you’re honestly the only fucking normal people on this campus” Taeyong pouted and you and Ten shared a quick glance before grinning from ear to ear.

“Okay he’s cute I get it” Ten sighed and held out his hand to Taeyong, “I'm Ten, y/n and I only started hanging out this morning, neither of us have close friends on campus and frankly everyone finds us annoying, welcome to the club.”

Taeyong smiled cutely and shook Ten’s hand, setting down his ice pack and got to his feet, “Well i'm Taeyong, I too don't give a shit what people have to say about me, I like doing whatever I want with whomever I want and I'm pretty sure after tonight people aren't gonna like me either, so I guess i'm in.”

Before you could even say your part to this little club initiation your phone began to blow up with message alerts and story updates from practically everyone on campus tagging you in a specific video.

“What the hell is going on ?” you frowned as you opened instagram and noticed that the account that everyone was tagging you in was a burner account with a few videos and two pictures. Ten and Taeyong stood on either side of you as you opened up the first video and noticed that it was taken in the hallway earlier that day with you and Ten linking arms. The second video was at the party, you and Ten dancing with each other and the video cutting to you and Taeyong dancing together. The last video on the account was a blurry video of you and Taeyong making out and Ten walking in, with the ending obviously being the three of you leaving together.

“Why is this account posting videos of us ?” Taeyong asked, noticing that he too was tagged by people who he didn't know at all. Ten pulled up the account on his own phone when the account refreshed and a new post appeared, this time it was text only.

“It's probably Jinyoung I’ll just call him and-” You were cut off by Ten grabbing your phone and tossing it on his bed, “dude what the hell ?” you protested but Ten silenced you with his finger.

“This is garbage right ? like what do our lives and how we live it got anything to do with any of these assholes ?” Ten bit down on his lip and looked between you and Taeyong, “They are so obsessed with us, wondering if the three of us are fucking right now ? really ? well let's give it to them.”

“You want the three of us to fuck ?” Taeyong quirked his eyebrow, his large eyes still hazy from the party.

“I want them to believe we are!” Ten grabbed Taeyong by his shoulders and looked back at you, “any publicity is good publicity. We get to be ourselves and we get to piss people off for free.”

“Would be pretty funny to see all of this blow up in Jinyoung's face honestly” you agreed, and Ten’s face lit up before moving his attention back to Taeyong, “What do you say pretty boy ?” Taeyong scratched his head and shrugged, “All this pretending and I don't get any action here ? doesn't feel like a win at all” You tried to hold in your laughter as Ten groaned at the blonde boy’s words and held his face between his hands before pulling him into a kiss, you watched Taeyong’s tense shoulders finally drop as he leaned more into the kiss and wrapped his hands lightly around Ten’s waist.

Ten pulled away and swiped Taeyong’s lips with his thumb, smiling at the doe-eyed boy, “we will have to make it convincing right ?”

“Okay im in” Taeyong smiled brightly and the three of you held hands in the middle of the bedroom, sharing mischievous glances with each other, anticipating the fucking whirlwind of chaos that was about to hit the campus.

“Good, well I guess the only thing left to do is upload our first post of the official poly club” Ten smirked and pulled the both of you onto his bed. Ten sat in between you and Taeyong and turned on the video mode of instagram stories. First he showed his face then turned to you, pulling you into a soft sensual kiss before moving to Taeyong next to him and did the same. After breaking the kiss with Taeyong, Ten nudged you to move over to the other side of him, putting you right onto Taeyongs lap. Ten focused on the two of you as you lifted Taeyong’s chin with your index finger and bit down on his lip, slightly pulling, teasing him as he brought his hand up to wrap around your neck. Ten zoomed in as you and Taeyong shared a very scandalous kiss for everyone to see. Your tongues darting in each other's mouth while the music drowned out your subtle moans.

“Done!” Ten chirped and uploaded his story, making sure to tag the burner account in every single clip. There was no going back now and every moment of this escapade excited you. The comfort you felt around Ten and Taeyong was something that you’d been craving for a long time. As cheesy as it was to say, and especially since it was only Day One, they felt like your soulmates.

“Man I fucking love this campus” Taeyong threw his head back and groaned while you and Ten burst out laughing.

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Monday quickly approached and as soon as you and Ten stepped on campus all eyes were on you. It gave you an incredible sense of confidence and you had no idea why. Heads turned with every step, everyone was whispering as the two of you walked hand in hand through the hallway keeping your head up high and not giving a shit about anyone. Taeyong was waiting for you guys at the end of the hall, adorning a buttoned down printed shirt and ripped jeans that snatched his waist in the right way. Taeyong was leaning against the wall with a lollipop in his mouth and dark sunglasses while everyone who passed him did a double take.

“Hey babes” he smirked and placed a kiss on your cheek and Tens before joining your walk towards your first class for the day.

It was so surreal going from everyone ignoring your existence to every single person watching the three of you, anticipating what was going to happen next. You found your seats in the middle of the lecture, giving everyone the best possible view of course. The professor cleared his throat to get everyone's attention and Ten tried to stifle a laughter as the people who stated they didn't give a shit about you guys clearly paid a lot of attention now.

“Give them a show bestie” Ten whispered in your ear before gesturing to Taeyong who sat on the other side of you, slumped down in his seat with his legs spread apart deliciously. You nodded and slowly reached over to Taeyong, caressing his thigh and he bit down on his lip while keeping his eyes on the lecture slides in front of him. You noticed two guys shuffling behind you and one pulled out his phone, waiting to record the next escapade of the campus’s new favourite stars.

You danced your fingers up Taeyong’s thigh and inched closer to rest your hand on his crotch as his breathing hitched. Leaning forward you made your movements less suspicious to the professor and everyone around you except the camera that was now focusing on your actions. Taeyong sunk further in the chair awaiting for you to quit teasing him and touch him where he needed you most. You obliged to his needs and palmed him through his jeans and you heard the guy behind you curse under his breath as you began rubbing Taeyong’s member. It felt so fucking powerful to do whatever you wanted after being so cautious on this campus for so long. The ironic part was all that shit about you being notorious on campus was a fucking lie. No you weren't a saint but you were not sleeping around every other day since you hated about 90% of the people that attended the university. Now with that burner account claiming to know more about your sex life than you did, what was holding you back now from doing what you wanted ?

Taeyong undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zip enough for you to slip your hands inside his pants with ease. A gasp from Ten made a shiver run down your spine, coming to your senses that you were giving Taeyong a handjob in the middle of a 10am lecture.

“Shit he's walking up” you chuckled and pulled your hand out of Taeyong’s pants and quickly pretended to be involved in your studies as the professor began walking around the room. Taeyong groaned loud enough for most of the front row to turn around and look at him in annoyance.

“Is something wrong Mr Lee ?” The professor raised his eyebrow as Taeyong quickly redid his pants and hid his prominent boner from his professor.

“One of the questions is a little….hard” Taeyong groaned while you and Ten covered your mouths trying to hide your laughter.

The professor shook his head and went on his way as you and Ten watched Taeyong struggle with his boner for the next thirty minutes of the class. Finally the lecture wrapped up and as soon as the three of you made your way to the hallway you felt Taeyong tug on your arm and began leading you into the girls bathroom, into the nearest stall. A few girls in the bathroom frowned at Ten sauntering into the bathroom straight after, setting down his bag on the counter and began fiddling with his hair.

“Uh this is the girls bathroom ?” a girl snapped, folding her arms and made eye contact with Ten through the mirror.

“So what ? I saw a vag before love, and just because i'm a guy doesn't mean I want yours” Ten shrugged and the girl cursed and stormed out of the bathroom. Meanwhile your mouth was practically merged with Taeyong’s as he pressed his still very hard member against your stomach and nibbled on your bottom lip.

“Was giving me blue balls for thirty minutes worth all of that ?” Taeyong growled as he grabbed your ass roughly, causing you to moan in his mouth. “I'm sorry baby let me make it up to you” you purred and dropped to your knees while Taeyong braced himself against the ceramic wall for what’s to come.

You undid Taeyongs jeans and pulled it down along with his boxers, allowing his member to spring free still hard as ever. You looked up at him, eyes big as you began stroking him slowly before spitting on his tip in order to lubricate him.

“Fucking hell” Taeyong yelled.

A girl on the outside jumped at his words and looked back at the stall then looked at Ten, who was just waiting on the two of you.

“Exam season huh ?” Ten pressed his lips together as the awkward girl quickly dried her hands and rushed out of the bathroom as soon as possible.

You began bobbing your head on Taeyongs member, fully taking him until he reached the back of your throat causing you to gag. Taeyong marveled at the way your plump lips wrapped around his tip, he couldn't help but grab your hair and slowly pull you off him just to take in the sight of your messed up lipstick. You gave him a cheeky smirk before locking your hands behind your back and giving him full control of his movements. Taeyong took full control, his dark eyes narrowed and he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth before thrusting inside of you at a rapid pace. You felt your throat burn at the way he fucked your mouth rapidly but it turned you on so much that you waited until he finally came inside your mouth and you swallowed every bit of him. Taeyong pulled you to your feet and kissed you passionately, his tongue tasting remnants of himself.

“Thanks baby” Taeyong cooed in your ear before exiting the stall, stuffing himself back into his pants while a few girls looked at him absolutely horrified. You followed him, neatening your hair and washing off your mouth and borrowed a lip balm from Ten.

“Had fun you two ?” Ten smirked, leaning against the sink as you and Taeyong made yourself a little more presentable before making your way out of the bathroom. Upon exiting the three of you noticed the two guys who were filming in the lecture room quickly run after you.

“Don't we get the ending to what went down in the lecture room ?” the one boy snickered like an immature school child as his friend kept the camera on the three of you making your way out of the art department block,

“She swallowed, the end” Taeyong threw his arms around both you and Ten leaving both boys dumbstruck at his words.

You playfully nudged Taeyong who just shot you a cheeky smile as you made your way to a little bench under a willow tree. This was where you usually sat on your own, when you didn't have the energy to socialize with the rest of the art students. Now, it felt a little more complete with Ten and Taeyong accompanying you.

“So my lovelies there's this afterparty happening after the final football game of the season next month” Ten said twirling his ice coffee in his hand as he took in the afternoon sun.

“What do you have in mind ?” you crinkled your nose as you sifted through your unappetizing salad in a box.

“Okay so you guys heard of Onlyfans right ?” Ten looked between you and Taeyong.

“That site that pays for nudes and shit ?” Taeyong quizzed and Ten nodded brightly and leaned in, “I was thinking let's capitalize a bit of this leading up to the party” Ten responded and pulled up an invitation on his phone,

“The afterparty is being held at Jinyoung’s frat house, him and his idiotic friends are making people pay in order to decorate their football recreational room or some stupid shit like that.”

You took a closer look at the invite and rolled your eyes at the ridiculous pricing, as if their parties were worth going to anyway. Jinyoung was incredibly full of himself and he knew a lot of people worshipped him on campus thanks to his parents being higher ups and the poster boy for the football team. Going for his pride, knocking him where it hurts would be fucking bliss.

“We open an onlyfans, nothing too scandalous but it's gonna get people interested enough to pay forward and we use that cash to host our own party on the same night, free entrance of course” Ten continued and already started setting up the OnlyFans account.

“We should make the party crazy as hell too so nobody would resist coming over” Taeyong added and began going through his contacts, “there's this guy called Seungyoun, he’s a fourth year and knows that DJ from that enigma club from downtown.”

“That's perfect, and we will get Yuta and his tattooist buddies to do temporary sets for us, also my friend Chaeyoung in fashion can help with decor” Ten squealed, already messaging whoever he can.

“My friend Hendery has...uh happy pills if you're interested” you mentioned, knowing that everyone knew Hendery on campus for selling shit, not strong stuff but able to keep you going for a good amount of time.

“Yes! Anything to create hype and watch those preppy idiots sit in an empty house come game night” Ten replied and showed off the OnlyFans page he attached to his instagram account.

“Okay, so what now ?” Taeyong’s large eyes looked between the two of you.

“Now” Ten threw his phone in his bag and got to his feet, “we go back to my dorm and take some naughty pics.”

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“I don't think my ass looks good in that” you whined as you got off Taeyong’s lap and took a look at Ten’s camera viewfinder. Taeyong grumbled, sitting in nothing but leather pants on Ten’s office chair, “your ass looks great trust me” he smirked and reached to pull you back onto his lap.

“Come on, just a few more then you can take pics of Taeyong and I” Ten pointed his ring light where Taeyong had a grip on your ass that adorned very pretty pink lingerie. After a few more angles and more compromising positions, Ten finally got what he needed and handed you the camera,

“Make us look cute” He winked and pulled Taeyong to his feet.

“What are we gonna-” Taeyong’s words were cut off by Ten shoving his hand down his pants, “okaaaay” Taeyong pressed his lips together as you began snapping pics of the two of them.

They were so beautiful to you. Every picture you snapped looked better than the last and they needed no direction at all, just enveloped each other with their ridiculous sexual energy, filling the room with their pheromones.

“Done, you guys look sexy as fuck” you purred earning a kiss from Taeyong who was obviously horny from the entire ordeal, but when the fuck was his dick not hard.

You felt yourself being tugged away and Taeyong whined when Ten handed the camera to him and pushed you down to lie on his bed. You felt a shiver run down your spine when Ten positioned himself between your legs and moved his body down until his face was level with your core.

“Taeyong, stand above y/n and shoot down from this angle” Ten instructed to which Taeyong obeyed and his shadow casted over you.

Ten leaned in and kissed you softly on your mound as the room echoed with the camera shutters and your deep breaths. You desperately wanted to run your fingers through his hair but you’d only ruin a perfect shot. It was agonizing but you had to stay still while Ten had his way with you.

Ten moved the piece of fabric to the side and peppered kisses all along your inner thigh and around your core. You were unable to see his face thanks to Taeyong hovering over you but you pictured that smug smile spread across his face as you restrained yourself. You sucked in another deep breath when you felt his tongue dart out and take a slow lick before placing his mouth on your mound and ate you out like an expert.

“Fucking hell” you sighed as you felt his tongue inside you, exploring every part imaginable. You could tell the scene was getting to Taeyong too, as he stood there one hand on the camera and the other hand on his hardened member, watching Ten eat you out.

“Did you get the shots ?” Ten suddenly said, pulling away from your core as you squirmed out of protest.

“Uh..yeah I did,” Taeyong muttered, still staring down at your legs spread wide apart and his member practically screaming through his restricted pants.

“I hope you're not planning to wrap this shit up right now Ten” you groaned, reaching your hand down to your core in order to finish what he had left off.

Ten snickered and slapped your hand away, “of course my lovelies, I never quit a job halfway.” Ten gestured for Taeyong to stand next to the bed while he inserted a finger in you, causing you to moan his name out loud. As you got accustomed to his finger you managed to sit up a little and watched as Ten rubbed Taeyong’s boner through his pants. God you had never been in a situation like this before. How the hell did you get so lucky, meeting two men willing to fuck you and each other.

Ten entered another finger inside you as Taeyong undid his pants and Ten’s mouth was pressed against Taeyong’s member while pumping his length. Taeyong’s eyes were on your figure as he moaned when Ten took him fully in and his fingers were now destroying your core.

“God im so close” Taeyong whined and Ten slowly took his length out of his mouth and looked up at him and then down at you,

“I think you should cum on y/n, she wants it” Ten licked his lips and looked at you with hooded eyes.

“Y-yeah Taeyong….just do it” you squirmed as Ten’s fingers slowed down, holding you back from your orgasm.

Taeyong uttered a few curses and Ten quickly returned to pumping his member until he was at his breaking point. Ten removed his hand from Taeyong and gave you his full attention, attaching both his mouth and three of his fingers inside of your core. Taeyong stood over you with dark eyes as you reached out to run your hand down his exposed thigh.

Taeyong grunted as he released, you felt the warm liquid all over your stomach and breasts while Ten was still recklessly fingering you until you had one of the craziest orgasms of your life. You couldn't process when Taeyong had pressed his lips to yours and Ten had left to get tissues for the mess the three of you made.

“That was some content our viewers missed out on” Taeyong sighed, still trying to catch his breath. You chuckled and went over to the bathroom to quickly shower off the mess and returned in Ten’s oversized shirt, taking a seat between the two of them in bed.

“Okay I uploaded a few previews and linked the onlyfans subscription link” Ten announced as he uploaded three of the explicit versions on the paid side of Onlyfans, “we will get a notification when someone has subscribed and our earnings are on this page.”

The three of you sat, mouths dropped open as you watched subscription after subscription start to fill the page. The comments were flooding in too, and someone even left a hefty tip in a matter of minutes. Ten switched to the earnings page and the account was already sitting at a triple digit.

“What the actual fuck” you gasped as more people began visiting the page and your followings on instagram began skyrocketing.

“This was way easier than I thought it was” Taeyong marveled, also noticing many people start dming him on instagram.

“Well Jinyoung and his goons wanted a party, well here’s the party of the fucking century” Ten smirked and hi5ed the both of you as absolute chaos ensued all over social media in real time.

Just like that in the next couple of days the three of you were watched by the entire campus. It was like Jinyoung wanted. To show the campus that you were notorious, and nobody should get involved with any of you. But that's where his plan was flawed.

Every single person on the campus besides his legion of preppy followers were obsessed with the three of you and craved more. Despite the onlyfans pictures containing no nudity, people still subscribed, they still tipped, they would do anything to see more.

It was in the middle of the afternoon and Ten had confirmed the account had garnered enough money for the party. It had been about three weeks since the very first post on the onlyfans account and now the account stood at a staggering 850 subscribers, each paying for the monthly subscribed content plus tipping generously from time to time. In the midst of all of this the three of you were also preparing for the party that was going to be held on the big day. Taeil, a friend of Taeyong's, allowed you to use his frat house for the event since it would look good for student rentals later on. Yuta and his friends prepared alcohol and a temporary tattoo station to appease drunk girls to get matching tattoos and frat boys to bet their friends to tattoo a dick on their faces. Chaeyoung, Ten’s friend from fashion completely transformed the house into an instagrammable masterpiece, channeling one of those fancy hollywood parties that nobody could ever get into. Seungyoun, the fourth year who was friends with a lot of musicians and DJs from downtown spread the word on campus radio, letting everyone know about Ten’s huge announcement that was about to happen Tuesday afternoon, 2:30PM.

“Alright you thirsty hoes, I see you all made it” Ten said into a karaoke microphone he found from God knows where. Ten got up on the table in the courtyard, standing in front of a huge crowd of students who quickly gathered ready for the grand announcement that was the talk of the town for the last week now.

“We would just like to say that we're so grateful for all your support on our….craft and in order to honor that, were going to host the best party of the fucking semester” Ten shouted while people cheered from the front all the way to the back of the crowd.

“If you look at the link under Ten’s instagram bio, it should take you to a little preview of what’s in store come saturday” Taeyong explained, leaning into the mic while the crowd murmured in confusion.

“Saturday after the big game ? Isn't Jinyoung having a party that night ?” someone in the crowd said followed by more confused chatter.

“That's right, I am having a party after the game” Jinyoung said, moving through the crowd accompanied by two of his frat members and sneered at the sight of the three of you,

“What ? Are you guys planning an orgy or something for your onlyfans ?”

“If you want to suck my dick all you gotta do is ask Jinyoung” Taeyong mused and a few people giggled while Jinyoung shifted uncomfortably and gritted his teeth.

“Listen, you freaks are not having a party on the same night as me” Jinyoung spat and took a step forward, “save yourself the embarrassment of nobody showing up and cancel it.”

You approached him slowly, chuckling darkly as he watched your fingers dance up his arm and up to his jaw, caressing his cheek, “Sweety are you threatened ? You're afraid everybody is gonna ditch your little frat party and come to mine ?”

Jinyoung tried keeping his cool while you stared up at him, playing with him like a little toy in front of everyone to see.

“Are you afraid if people come over i'm going to hook up with everyone who gives me attention ?” Jinyoung avoided your eyes when you recited the words he wrote about you on that burner account. You smirked up at him when you noticed how he still wasn't man enough to own up to his actions.

“Well, our party is FREE by the way” you continued, stepping away and now addressed the crowd in front of you, “So if you’d rather go over to Jinyoungs then go ahead, but if you wanna come play with us…”

You walked up to Taeyong and gave him a sloppy kiss as he grabbed your ass in front of the entire campus to see, “we will see you Saturday night.” The crowd cheered and Jinyoung growled, taking one more glare at you before storming off with his frat boys away from the cheering crowds.

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It was D day and everyone who helped with the party gathered in the kitchen, drink in hand and took a final glance back at the rager that was mere minutes away from opening up.

“I can't thank you all enough, actually I did, with all that onlyfans money” Ten stuck his tongue out and Seungyoun whistled while everyone clapped.

“No but seriously, thank you guys….revenge never felt sweeter” you smiled and Hendery put his arm around you as you leaned into him, “if nobody shows up well more for us!”

“Cheers, freaks¨" Taeyong yelled and Ten nudging him in his abdomen,

“Really ? I'm pretty sure Jinyoung’s little nickname for us isn't a compliment” Ten rolled his eyes playfully.

“Its a compliment to us, fuck it im a freak and proud of it” Yuta raised his glass, and a few others joined in.

“Fine Freaks club it is, cheers everyone!” Ten raised his glass and everyone clinked glasses before downing their respectful drinks.

It wasn't long before people began pouring in, it wasn't a large number but it was still something. Most people were from the music and arts departments, and you noticed a few girls from your business lecture drop by as well.

“You think the rest all went to Jinyoung ?” You bit down on your lip as you and Ten monitored the crowds of people while having a drink.

“Maybe ? doesn't matter though, our party is way cooler” Ten shrugged and threw back his drink, “but if you really want me to pull one last move hey just say the word.”

You looked over at the black haired boy and frowned while a cheeky smile spread across his face and he pulled out his phone. You watched him text a few paragraphs and slip his phone in his back pocket before returning to his drink.

About 20 minutes later Taeyong emerged from the crowd to join the two of you in the kitchen, a confused look spread across his face.

“What's wrong ?” you quizzed him.

“Some of those basketball guys are here, they brought over like fifty more people” Taeyong pointed to the entrance and you and Ten watched the guys who the campus worshipped next to the football team enter the party, followed by their fangirls and whoever else wished to be in their presence.

“What the heck did you do ?” your eyes widened as the small party now turned into a whole fucking campus rager.

“Oh I told Johnny Suh that I'd give him a lap dance in front of everyone if he came over with his friends” Ten smiled, waving at the tall brown haired boy with a goofy grin spread across his face.

“Johnny Suh ?! as in the captain of the varsity basketball team ?” you were still confused as to how and when Ten had started talking to one of the most popular guys on campus.

“Yes him, now if you would excuse me, I have a deal to seal” you and Taeyong watched Ten down his drink and make his way over to the lounge where Johnny stood excitedly.

Ten spoke to the DJ and the DJ had the crowd clear up the center of the room while everyone exchanged confused glances as to what the hell was about to go down. Ten placed a chair in the middle of the room and pushed Johnny’s large frame down until he was seated, legs apart and that goofy smile never leaving his face. His teammates whistled as Ten used a piece of cloth to cover Johnny’s eyes, and took off his belt in order to retrain his hands behind his back.

“I gotta give it to Ten, he sure knows how to put on a show” Taeyong wrapped his arm around your waist as the two of you watched Ten fuck around with the captain of the basketball team.

The room was filled with flashing lights, everyone recording the moment as Ten gave Johnny the lap dance he was promised. Johnny slumped in the chair allowing Ten to grind into his hips, and you're pretty sure if the music wasn't so goddamn loud the whole campus would've heard Johnny moan in Ten’s touch. Ten ended it off with a cheeky kiss and untied Johnny, whose face was absolutely red as all of his friends cheered them on, all of them attacking him with hi5s.

That definitely sealed the deal, because after a few uploads of the clip, almost everyone was at your party and Jinyoung’s was most likely empty right now. The party was so big that people were on the street, everybody having the time of their life.

“We did it” Ten threw his arms around you and Taeyong as you stood on the balcony, overlooking the party from above.

“Yeah, we really did” you chuckled and sighed deeply, “I wish I could look at Jinyoung’s face right now.”

“Oh you didn't see ?”

You and Ten turned to Taeyong as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his gallery. You and Ten burst out laughing when a video of Jinyoung sitting in his empty estate with a few of his preppy friends looking absolutely miserable.

“Fuck thats brilliant” you leaned your head on Ten’s shoulder, completely satisfied with how the night turned out.

“Hey you guys wanna go back to my dorm ? I'm kinda over this” Ten yawned and placed a peck on your forehead.

“You wanna leave your own party ?” Taeyong scoffed, shoving his hands in his pocket.

“This” Ten gestured to the three of you, “This is my party, let's take it back to my room.”

You and Taeyong both obliged and without anyone knowing the three of you escaped the party and made your way over to Ten’s dorm room hand in hand. Upon entering Ten threw off his shirt and kicked off his boots and Taeyong did the same, the two boys grabbing alcohol from the mini fridge and set them up on Tens desk.

“Oh by the way I have something” your words had both the boys turn to face you and you held out your hand, holding three small blue pills,

“Hendery gave them to me, Its not that strong and the high will only last for an hour or two but fuck its good way to end the night off right ?”

“I'm in” Taeyong grabbed the pill and handed you a drink, the three of you washed the pill with beer and Ten switched on a playlist before joining you and Taeyong on his bed.

“I know we've only known each other for like 2-3 months now but I fucking love you guys” you sighed, running your hands through your hair and looked between the two boys.

“This group, us, was the best thing that ever happened to me” Taeyong replied, “you two whores mean the world to me.” “Very sentimental Taeyong” Ten chuckled before reaching out to caress your cheek, “I love you too babe, both of you, were soulmates, if like the devil decided to link people together or something.”

The three of you chuckled and the laughter quickly switched to Taeyong rubbing Ten’s thigh and looked over at you with dark eyes. You had no idea if it was the drug, or the alcohol but there was a desperation within you. Grabbing Taeyong’s face, you pulled him into a sloppy kiss, and quickly switched to Ten, giving him the same energy as Taeyong pushed your shirt over your head and sucked on your exposed skin.

Ten unclasped your bra and massaged your breast as Taeyong kissed the other, each boy stimulating you in the best way possible. Taeyong growled and tossed you onto your back, pulling your skirt off and began sharing a passionate kiss with Ten who was already down to his boxers.

Once Taeyong pulled away from Ten he moved on top of you, grabbing you by your throat and rubbed his hips against your core, the friction sending you into a frenzy. Your thoughts were so focused on Taeyong you had no idea when Ten had got on his knees beside you and began kneading your breasts and rubbing his length with his free hand.

“Who do you wanna fuck first ?” Taeyong growled in your ear that made you so wet you had no fucking clue who you wanted, you just needed someone inside of you at this moment.

“I think it's fair if I go first, I've waited long enough” Ten smirked and switched positions with Taeyong who jumped off the bed to get rid of his pants.

You watched Ten’s dark eyes take in your body, and his beautiful body looked so fucking alluring under the dim lighting of his bedroom. Ten rid you of your soaked panties and wasted no time in inserting two fingers in your wetness.

“Baby girl has been waiting for this for a while huh” Ten purred while Taeyong grabbed your jaw, pulling you into a kiss before making you sit up enough for his member to meet your lips. Just as you took Taeyong in your mouth Ten had already replaced his fingers with his member and began thrusting into you at a rapid pace.

“Oh fuck” you groaned as Taeyong guided your movements on his member with a fistful of your hair. All three of you were so in tune with each other, rough when needed to be and delicate straight after.

As Ten fucked you he leaned forward enough for Taeyong to bend down and meet his lips, the two of them sharing a dirty kiss while they fucked you senseless. Ten pulled away from Taeyong and rammed into you until you came all over his member. “Come on open wide” He mewled and pulled you up and shoved his length in your mouth until he came, making you swallow every bit of him.

“Get on top of me” Taeyong demanded and you did as he said, climbing on top of him and sitting on his length. Taeyong let out a groan, finally feeling you around his length and you felt Ten sit behind you, his hands cupping your breasts as you bounced on Taeyongs member.

“You think you can take both of us ?” Ten whispered in your ear and his request somehow made you wetter than you already were. You had only tried it once, but never in a situation like this. You quickly nodded and Ten caressed your body, leaving sweet kisses all over shoulder and neck before jumping off the bed to rummage in his closet.

Taeyong, not knowing or caring what was going on, carried on slamming himself inside of you, his nails digging into your ass as you rode him like a pro.

Ten returned with what you assumed to be a bottle of lube and bent you over slightly, making sure his touches were careful and delicate. Taeyong finally caught on and slowed his pace despite almost being at his orgasm, in order to make the process easier for you.

“If it's too much just let me know” Ten pecked your cheek and inserted a finger inside your ass, the new sensation was odd but extremely satisfying. Ten continued lubing you up while Taeyong stroked your thighs and made sure your body was relaxed in their care.

“I'm ready, just do it, I want to feel both of you already” you whined and both boys cursed at your words, each anticipating this new experience.

Ten inserted himself and gave you a moment to adjust to him and Taeyong, before slowly moving his hips, keeping his touches light.

“Oh God that feels so good” you moaned as Taeyong picked up his pace and the both of them began fucking you at the same time, something you always wished would happen eventually. Ten returned to his roughness and bent you a little more, allowing Taeyong to lean up and capture your lips, his tongue entangling with yours as the new position only got him back to chasing his raging orgasm.

“Fuck im gonna cum” Taeyong groaned, slightly mad that he couldnt hold onto this feeling any longer.

“You wanna cum inside her mouth ?” Ten asked in between his grunts as he felt himself also reaching his second orgasm.

“No I wanna cum in yours” Taeyong replied darkly, and Ten’s thrusts stopped abruptly to look down at Taeyong.

“Well...fuck okay” Ten finally said and pulled out of you, allowing Taeyong to move to the side of the bed while Ten flipped you on your back and inserted himself in your core. Taeyong stood on the bed for Ten to get better access to his length as you screamed Ten’s name who was quite literally destroying your core at this point.

Taeyong yanked on Ten’s hair causing him to slow his thrusts and you watched the delicious sight of Taeyong slipping his length into Ten’s mouth and Ten swallowing every bit of him. It was quite possibly the hottest thing you'd seen in your life. Ten wiped his mouth as Taeyong slowly pulled out of him with a groan he returned to slamming his hips into yours. “I'm so close Ten” you groaned as Ten crouched over you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he brought both of you to your climax and let out a huge sigh when he finally came undone with you following shortly after.

“How much money do you think we would've made on onlyfans for that ?” Ten breathed as he collapsed in the bed next to you and Taeyong crawled on your naked body, resting his head on your chest as the three of you tried to catch your breath.

“Probably enough to drop out” Taeyong hummed, his eyes drooping as he made himself a little more comfortable.

“Yeah but hey it's time to end the notorious onlyfans account now don't you think ?” your eyes shifted to Ten who nodded at your words and got up and grabbed his phone from his desk,

“Tae-Ten-Y/N onlyfans era has now come to an end, thank you everyone who tuned in” Ten said, falling back into bed and showing the account that was now deactivated.

“Kinda surprised you are willing to end the onlyfans era Ten, this doesn't have anything to do with Johnny Suh now does it ?” Taeyong raised his eyebrow and you also joined in, looking at the black haired boy with curious eyes.

“Maybe,” Ten sighed, rolling his eyes as you and Taeyong mimicked kissing sounds, “Ugh anyway, they have a game next week, I want you guys to come with.”

“Fine, i’ll ask Johnny how it felt to taste my c-”

“Shut up Taeyong.”

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ONE WEEK LATER

“I have no idea what the hell is going on but Johnny is so hot” Ten sighed as the three of you sat in the bleachers of a varsity basketball game.

“Athletes are not my type these days” you shrugged taking a bite of your corn dog, watching Taeyong play some game on his phone.

“Oh shit they're almost there” Ten pulled you to your feet as the crowd all stood up around you cheering on the varsity team as the time began running out. You watched Johnny run across the court and throw the ball to a boy with chestnut coloured hair, and upon receiving the ball, the boy threw the ball straight into the hoop at the last second, taking his team to victory.

“Fuck….who is he ?” you gulped, as his teammates carried him on their shoulders and his lips curled into a tight grin, showing off a beautiful set of dimples. “That my dear friend” Ten patted your shoulder, “That's Jung Jaehyun.”

#nct smut #wayv smut #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #taeyong smut #ten smut #taeten smut #taeten #jaehyun freaks au #freaks au #nct x reader #taeyong x reader #ten x reader #nct au #wayv au #nct fanfic

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ericspinkhair · 3 years

Text

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

#kevin moon smut #kevin moon scenario #the boyz kevin smut #the boyz kevin scenario #moon hyungseo smut #moon hyungseo scenario #the boyz kevin moon smut #the boyz kevin moon scenario #the boyz hyungseo smut #the boyz hyungseo scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #kpop smut #kpop scenarios

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backandimbamon · 3 years

Note

Bonnie playing with Damon's hair and he all sleepy 😊

this really took a while because… i was going to stop at the first half but i wanted to consider Bonnie’s perspective (: and then it got a lil spicy and i was like *sigh* why must you always take it there? but i mean- 👁- i always take it there because we were robbed!!! Damon is practically a self proclaimed sex god and i hate how they separated Bonnie from her sexuality, or really any form of intimacy for sooo long. and the scraps we got were NEVER enough. okay anyways yeah i’m finally done, like let’s get into it.

Damon notices that Bonnie touches him sparingly and really not because she wants to but because it happens accidentally every now and then, one of the perks about frequently invading her space.

Being stuck on the other side, there is less room for her and more for him, she’s in his world now which means it’s his duty to make her feel as uncomfortably comfortable as possible.

He notices everything; how her cheeks turn red when their knuckles brush against one another’s, how she takes in an exasperated little breath when their shoulders touch, how she rolls her eyes when he stands entirely too close. Damon hangs on to these moments because this may be his only form of female contact he’ll receive for a very, very, long time.

That is the only reason he hangs on.

Anytime she touches him intentionally, he feels a pride swell deep in his chest that he’s liked by Bonnie after a rocky road of ups and downs, fussing and fighting, he is finally deemed worthy enough for her to care about him even if it’s brief, even if it’s the smallest skin to skin contact imaginable.

And yes, he cares because if he has to spend the rest of eternity with one person, they might as well get along.

Movie night comes around so he rests his head in her lap, testing the waters, to see how she will respond to him. He senses her tense up a bit as predicted, but then she relaxes into it breath by breath like she’s doing a tricky yoga pose.

Bonnie’s body lotion makes her skin smell edible- cocoa and honey- she’ll never know but that’s why he nicknames her Bon Bon, she always smells good enough to eat. At this point, Damon can’t recall the VHS movie on the block of a television, his focus has been robbed by Bonnie and this new form of contact she allows him to try. Half of his smile sinks into the cotton of her leggings.

Her eyes never leave the screen when she laces her fingers through his hair, nails surfing through tufts of raven-black and the gesture is so shocking and embarrassingly arousing that a strangled groan gets trapped in his throat.

She panics, and he can tell by the change in her heart rate before saying. “Did I hurt you?” He has to clear his throat to speak.

“Hmmm mm, feels good,” he mumbles feigning casual so she can’t realize how he needs this so so bad that he’s fearful of it being taken away. In his mind he thinks about what if.

What if she wakes up and decides she doesn’t want to tap dance on the line between what is and isn’t acceptable for two best friends. What if she remembers that he’s actually a terrible person who has done horrendous things to her and everyone she’s ever loved.

She shouldn’t like him or try not to laugh at his jokes. Not at all. Bonnie should’ve killed him a long, long time ago because if anyone could do it, it’d be her. He can see her now, all badass and angry with a wooden stake in her hand, vengeance in her eyes, the very last thing he’d see before his lights went out forever.

Bonnie, the giver and the taker.

Bonnie, the only god he knew.

Damon finds himself thinking so intensely lately that he checks the mirror more often than not to make sure he has no brooding lines like his little brother. Stefan’s expansive forehead has the room for it, his perfectly shaped forehead does not.

She laces her fingers back through his hair again and his eyes flutter, that’s how good it feels. It’s sensational. And while he’s had his hair pulled in and out of the bedroom, the innocence of her touch makes him want to melt. He finds his lids growing heavier, like how they used to do a century-and-a-half ago when he was human.

Running through dandelion fields in the overbearing Virginia heat, the sun up above sending heavy gusts of sunshine beams, a moment he considers to be oppressive now, used to be magical then- miraculous -and despite sweating through his britches and overcoat he never cared enough to stop running through the fields. The sun was the greatest thing all those years ago, back when white was his favorite color.

And after drawing a long, hot bath, he’d sink deep into the water while the bubbles floated to the top. Damon would close his eyes, hold his breath, see if he could break his prior record. Then he’d get out and the sleep would welcome him like any drowsy being, with open arms. And there he’d fall.

Bonnie has that affect on him. She makes him think of home, his past, when times were simpler and he was human.

He feels that exhausted sometimes, a boy who’s never stopped running through dandelion fields, whether it snows or rains or burns him alive. Her fingernails rake through his scalp- orange leaves on browning grass. Ruining Stefan’s piles for the fun of it. His lids droop. Tired of being consumed by himself, by Bonnie, he admits defeat this time. When he finally drifts off, he remembers that the Virginia heat gave him this same warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

“You really don’t know how good this feels,” his final words are hoarse before he drifts off but the last thing he sees is Bonnie.

The giver and the taker, the only god he knows.

Bonnie refuses to relish in the magic of the moment, the fact that it’s so rare Damon ever completely lets his guard down around her. She can always feel his eyes on her, constantly watching because Damon has a presence that’s inescapable.

Being so close to him when he’s extremely vulnerable makes her realize that in all facets, he’s stunning. A stunning that’s almost suffocating but with the dynamic they possess, he only needs to know that he’s not that much of an eye sore.

Now, she stares with wide eyes while she can, memorizes the smooth expanse of skin, every strand of dark hair. Relishes in the feel of his arms around her waist, the weight of his head in her lap. It’s been a long time since she’s felt a body besides her own and as much as she likes to ignore the fact, she has needs, needs that have swelled from being in the presence of Damon for too long.

He’s sexy without any effort, she examines. His dark t-shirt has risen and his pants are low enough that she observes the waistline of (silk?) boxers, taut muscle, navel, happy trail, yeah. Bonnie drinks him in like a cool glass of milk before bedtime- never has this much pretty been in her lap before. Her hands find their way in his head again, tousles through and he nuzzles up against her in his sleep. It’s difficult to pull her eyes away from him, but when she does, the credits are rolling on the screen.

This is Damon she’s thinking about like this, her best friend and also her first best friend’s boyfriend. She repeats it again, not satisfied that the guilt isn’t drowning her like it sometimes does when she catches herself lingering on his attractiveness for too long but Mystic Falls, the real Mystic Falls seems so far away. Elena, Caroline, Matt, Alaric, her old life just seems unattainable, no bigger than a memory she occasionally mistakes for a bad dream.

There’s no denying that being away from it all, here with Damon as the only other person in the world, she feels…safe. Maybe even protected, it’s a stark contrast from the real Mystic Falls where her life is always on the line.

Bonnie starts to get up when she feels his hold on her tighten to prevent her from moving away. They play tug of war for a bit but she eventually stops fighting because Damon is a vampire after all, physical strength is going to get her nowhere. “Fine,” she grumbles, then plops down which causes the end of her top to ride up enough that she can feel the press of Damon’s nose on the curve of her waist. Despite trying to inch her shirt back down, she has no luck. Naturally Damon doesn’t mind.

He inhales her skin deeply, makes a sound of approval before groggily muttering, “Going topless now, are we Judgey?”

She grabs his hair again, yanks his head back as a rebuttal, and Damon bites his tongue so hard that it bleeds. He has to ensure that all of the blood in his body isn’t rushing south too fast but unfortunately, he would have to sever both his arms completely off to stop the blood flow.

Bonnie realizes the dazed look in his eyes isn’t one of pain nor is it from sleep, “Not the reaction you expected, huh?” He asks, gesturing for her to look down but she doesn’t, she can’t. She’s embarrassed, and to make matters worse, a teensy bit turned on.

“You scared, Bon Bon? I thought you were big and bad,” Damon mocks, pulling between his legs to make more room in his jeans, “it’s okay. I know Jeremy left much to be desired.” He sits up with swirls of longing still in his eyes, then grabs a pillow to place in his lap.

“Scared?” She guffaws. “Of what exactly?”

“Me…You.”

“And that means?”

“You’re a smart girl, Bon, figure it out.” Damon taunts, holding her eyes with his. “It’s awfully lonely here.”

She says nothing for a while, refusing to break eye contact first. “So.”

“Soooo, I won’t tell if you won’t.” It’s almost a joke, almost because she has a feeling if she says yes to whatever sort of ambiguous proposal he’s thrown up in the air, there won’t be any laughter. If she says no, it’s no different from his usual innuendos but boy, will she wonder.

“Wanna take a walk on the wild side?” He asks in a singsong tone, eyes dropping to her lips then back up to her eyes.

There are no alarms, no cell phones, no one here that can interrupt this moment. She has to answer, though she has no idea what will come out of her mouth. Bonnie shuts her eyes to make the moment less real, as if it will change the fact that she whispers, “Just one kiss,”

They’re nose to nose when Damon whispers back, “a peck.”

She swallows his breath. “Mhmm,”

“It’s nothing,”

“Nothing.”

“As light as air,” he presses his lips to hers for a brief moment then pulls back again. “See.” He peppers more kisses on her lips, down her jaw, the side of her neck, but they’re heavier. They have a density now. His tongue is on the flesh of her shoulder, teasing up her neck. She feels the light imprint of sharp canines, arousal surges through her like a power circuit, so intense that she moans. When he makes his way back up, their mouths both open in a feral kiss that robs them of air.

Bonnie holds his face in place though he makes no attempt to move away. The pillow falls out from between them when he grabs Bonnie’s leg to straddle him.

It’s nothing.

Nothing separating them from attacking each other’s mouths, nothing stopping Damon from gripping his best friend’s hips, nothing saving Bonnie from discarding his shirt.

His skin is cool enough that she can stream together some thought in between relentless kisses. “Damon,” she tries her best to sound admonishing.

“Please, not right now.” Damon cuffs both her wrists behind her with one hand and plants a hickey just above her cleavage. She sees stars. He already knows what the inflection in her voice means- the timing couldn’t be worse.“Let’s save the guilt for tomorrow morning.” His tone is octaves lower, almost as low as his lids. He drags his eyes up to hers, and they’re so shiny she can see her reflection. “I need this, Bonnie. Don’t you?”

He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, just continues on with his ministrations, hypnotized by the pheromones seeping off of her in waves, wanting to memorize the scent with his tongue. She whines his name, like actually whines his name, and the feeling that sits in the pit of his stomach scares him. Bonnie is so oblivious to the appeal she carries but if she sat in his skin for a day, hell, for a moment, she would realize just how long she’s been driving him insane.

“We can’t,” she groans weakly. “We can’t.”

Damon tries to breathe easier, but that feeling is lurking in his gut. She’s right. The things he’d do to her, he’d break her in half. He removes Bonnie from his lap, separates from her warmth, her scent. Backs away until the tv threatens to fall off the stand. Everything in him tells him to go back, to reenter the magnetic pull, to poke at her forcefield.

He backs away even further if possible. Her breath catches at the distance.

Bonnie’s cheeks are flushed, warm and red like fruit. If she was an apple, she would have already been eaten down to the core. If she was a peach, it would be easier to explain why he ate her. He thinks to himself that he’s officially off the rails, comparing Bonnie to fruit like he is, but he’s trying to rationalize his irrationality. Because if Bonnie never stopped him, he’d definitely be eating something by now.

“Nothing happened.” She says, ignoring his expression and the silent plea in his eyes.

“Nothing.” He deadpans, throwing his shirt back over his head.

Damon thinks of how different things would be if he had his way. Bonnie, spent, drunk, high off of him. Bleeding and wild, pretty and dangerous, yelling for God. He would plunge Jeremy right out of her, help her find her magic again. Give her everything she could dream of. He gulps.

She doesn’t sleep with him tonight, not in the same bed. She’s on the opposite end of the boarding house when he hears her slide under the covers.

The next morning, he thinks to himself, if she even utters a word about last night, he’ll pick up from where he left off. But she doesn’t, her eyes are far away again, and the only proof he has of their adventures is the wonderful, purple hickey.

When movie night comes back around, his head is in her lap and her hand is back in his hair, running to and fro like him in his lavender fields.

That’s all he gets.

Every now and then, it’s enough.

Bonnie gives and takes, then takes away some more.

She’s the closest thing to God he’ll probably ever know.

#bamon #bamon fanfiction #bamon fanfic #bamon prompt #prompt #my writing #mine #tvd ff #tvd fanfiction #damon salvatore #bonnie bennett #bonnie x damon #damon x bonnie

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sparklysung · 3 years

Text

✨ADRENALINE RUSH – n.j.m.✨

pairing – na jaemin x female!reader

genre – smut, slight angst | non-idol!au, school!au

warnings – good boy!virgin!jaemin, bad girl!experienced!reader, corruption kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), breeding kink, slight exhibitionism (library), creampie, marking, overstimulation

word count – 3.416 words

note – i got too much into it lol. it turned out so long, i’m sorry for that. i do hope you like it, i’ve been working on it for a few days now and it’s been rough. i’m hoping there aren’t too many errors, and if there are i apologize in advance, i know they are annoying. either way enjoy!

summary – as the local bad girl, your reputation was rather infamous. jaemin knew this and so he tried his best to stay away from you. but after getting paired up for a genetics project, he didn’t stand a chance against your desire to ruin his innocence.

taglist – @junguwuuu , @prvncejxon, @carelessshootanonymous

part i ; part ii

you were mindlessly playing with your pen, doodling on the margins of your notebook, ignoring completely what your genetics professor was explaining on the board in the front of the classroom.

that’s how class usually was for you; not paying attention to anything, just messing around with your highlighters, drawing more doodles to add to your collection or observing your classmates –not in a creepy way, though–. your professor wasn’t that clueless for you to nap until the end of the class, so you took advantage of whatever could keep you awake.

when your hand started to cramp due to the constant movement, you started looking around the room with a bored expression, letting your thoughts go to anything and everything that seemed the tiniest bit interesting. that was until he caught your eye.

na jaemin. perfect na jaemin. excellent grades, the teacher’s pet, always so polite to everyone. the type of guy every parent would want their daughter to date and the perfect role model.

and you were the opposite. you never really cared about school; getting high scores was useless from your point of view, so you never took it seriously. you were used to sneaking out of your house to attend parties and going home drunk with a different guy each weekend –cause life is short and why not–. your lifestyle earned you a ‘bad girl’ reputation, as well as the protagonism of multiple not-so-nice rumours.

you two were so different from one another, belonged to completely different worlds.

that’s why you were so intrigued by him.

it’s not like this was the first time you notice him, you can’t just not notice him. he was gorgeous, to say the least; perfect face, flawless skin, sparkly round eyes adorned with long eyelashes, pink plush lips, fluffy hair with soft dark locks that fell beautifully on his forehead, framing the soft expression on his face. oh yeah, how could you forget that long neck of his, with a prominent adam’s apple that made your mouth water with the thought of marking it with purplish bites. you’ve wanted to ruin him since the first day you laid eyes on him, make him break under your touch and need you as much as he needs oxygen to breathe.

“so, before the class comes to an end, i’m going to assign you in pairs for the project i was talking to you about a few minutes ago.” groans of annoyance were heard from all around the room, finally making you pay attention.

as the professor began mentioning the pairs, your attention drifted once again towards jaemin. he looked genuinely interested in what was being said; eyebrows furrowed in concentration while waiting for his name to be called.

“kim sohee and lee donghyuck,” your eyes wandered down toward his broad shoulders, strong arms and slender fingers. your teeth nibbled with your bottom lip, nails sinking against the palm of your hand as you felt your panties grow damp by the sole idea of him fingering you.

“na jaemin and y/l y/n,” your head snapped first in the direction of your professor, and then to his, who looked rather nervous sitting down a few desks in front of you, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. indeed, jaemin was nervous, so nervous that he felt like he was about to pass out. he could feel the looks full of pity his friends were throwing at him and it was making him feel even worse. he wasn’t too pleased either with the shot of excitement and anticipation he felt spreading across his body. you looked down at your hands, hair slightly covering your face as you tried to hide your devilish smirk.

you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of the pairs, being already too immersed in thoughts about every possible scenario that could take place while you two worked together on the project.

~.~.~.~

as soon as class ended, you threw your bag over your shoulder, making your way towards jaemin’s table and earning a couple of looks of disapproval from his friends. not letting that affect you, you approached him with a sweet smile plastered on your face. “hey,” his face shot up to look at you, hands still working on getting all his belongings inside his bag. straightening his back, he tried to look unaffected by your presence. he nodded his head shortly as a greeting and decided to get this over with as fast as he could.

“let’s work on the project at the library, right after class,” jaemin said, trying to sound confident, but you could see right through him; he was nervous. he figured that a place full of people was less risky rather than either of your houses, where you’d be alone and the possibility of something happening was a lot higher. you shrugged your shoulders, not really minding the location, “see you later, pretty boy.” you winked at him before making your way out of the room, leaving a flustered jaemin behind.

you were bad news, your name only coming up in conversations about breaking the rules, hookups during parties with lots of alcohol involved and other rumours. he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel like this, all about you screamed ‘danger, beware’. and his friends had warned him, always making sure to constantly remind him not to get closer than needed or he would be doomed. but he couldn’t stop the fast beating of his heart nor the butterflies that erupted in his stomach.

jaemin was certain this wasn’t going to end well, at least not for him.

and he was right.

~.~.~.~

a few hours later, jaemin and you were sat side by side on a slightly secluded table. he decided against sitting close to the entrance, as the internet connexion wasn’t so good and you were required to do internet research. he felt on edge every time your thigh brushed lightly against his, though he wasn’t sure if you knew what you were doing or if you were completely oblivious to the small touches.

but you sure weren’t oblivious of the way his body reacted with each of them, fingers gripping tightly the edges of the book he had opened in front of him. you on the other hand pretended to not notice, intently reading the thesis you had found in google scholars about multifactorial and complex diseases.

at some point, you figured it was time to make your move and shoot your shot. it seemed like he liked your proximity and lingering touches, as he had never –in all the time you’ve spent in the library– made an attempt to pull away or make you stop. also, by the look of the prominent tent forming inside his school pants, he appeared to actually be really fond of it. smiling to yourself, you continued as if nothing happened.

jaemin was internally panicking, he was aware that eventually you were going to notice his little –not so little– problem. he wanted to either bury himself underground or lock himself inside his room and wait until he passed away from inanition, starvation or dehydration, whatever happened first. he tried thinking about disgusting things to make it go away, like strawberries or the time when he was dared to lick his friend donghyuck’s sweaty foot, but nothing seemed to work.

you could make out the outline of his hard dick from the inside of his pants, biting your lips to contain the smirk making its way to your face. your hand snaked up his thigh until it was close to where he most needed you, making him shudder and squirm nervously under your touch. “w-what are you doing?”, he managed to ask, swallowing the lump in his throat. this was the first time a hand that wasn’t his own was touching him. because, of course, he wasn’t that innocent. he had needs like every guy his age, hormones all over the place and making him painfully aware of the pretty girl sitting so close to him. your scent intoxicating and addictive, almost making him lean closer.

you didn’t even care to respond, too fascinated by the feeling of his clothed member against your hand, hot and heavy. “s-stop, this isn’t right, w-we can’t do this here.” the panic present on his voice made a chuckle fall from your lips, making jaemin shrink in his seat.

“someone’s gonna hear us, w-we’ll get caught.” he didn’t know what else to tell you to make you stop, how could he convince you to stop when he didn’t want you to? you ignored his words and kept going, the idea of getting caught causing wetness to gather inside your panties. “then you’ll have to keep quiet,” the moan that slipped from his lips made you rub your thighs together to ease some of the tension.

you freed his member from the confines of his pants and briefs, pulling them down just enough for you to have easy access to it, but not so much to make it too obvious. he was big; thick enough to stretch you out nicely. you hummed in approval, spitting in the palm of your hand, going to grab ahold of his cock and slowly start to pump him. jaemin threw his head back, eyebrows furrowed, eyes closed shut and mouth agape in a silent moan. “does it feel good baby?” he hummed quietly, not trusting his voice. he leaned his body closer to yours, chest against your side while his head rested on your shoulder. “so needy”, you mumbled mockingly, to which his hips bucked slightly.

jaemin felt in cloud 9 having your soft hand wrapped tightly around his sensitive dick. he knew all of this was wrong, but it felt so good. he opened his eyes enough to be able to see you work on his shaft. your thumb flicked against his slit as it spread the leaking precum from the tip to the base. he was trying his best to avoid letting out any sound, afraid of drawing unwanted attention.

you could feel he was getting close by the stuttering of his hips, desperately thrusting back against your fist. and, as much as you wanted to see his face while cumming, you weren’t going to let him just yet. you needed him and you needed him now, your slick arousal starting to run down your inner thighs. you’ve had enough.

your hand stopped its ministrations, making him whine softly at the loss of friction. moving to straddle his thighs, you threw your leg over his until you were comfortably sitting on his lap, skirt riding up from your new position. your thin arms snaked around his neck, one going to tangle in his hair and the other to caress his jaw. his hands positioned themselves instantly in your hips, holding onto you for dear life. his eyes nervously wandered over your shoulder, making sure nobody was paying attention to what you both were doing.

you pulled his chin to get him to look at you, eyes hooded and filled with lust. you looked so hot, face flushed a pretty tone of red, eyes sparkling with mischief. he knew he would be jacking off to the thought of you for the rest of the year, if not for the rest of his life.

his thoughts were interrupted, heavy lids almost closing once again and mind going blank, as he felt you roll your hips against his hard cock, which was standing tall in between your bodies. biting your lip, you leaned in to kiss his, feeling for the first time his plump, soft pink lips against yours. a moan escaped your mouth at the sweet taste of his tongue, fighting against your desperately as if he would never be able to savour you again.

rising from his lap slightly, you used one of your hands to position the tip of his cock against your entrance and the other to push your panties aside. a soft groan left jaemin’s lips as he felt the wetness of your core. as you were about to lower yourself on him, he stopped you, fingers digging against your sides. “i-i have never done anything like this with anyone.” if you were being honest, you found his nervous stutter quite endearing. “then let me ruin you.” that was all it took for him to give in to you.

you pumped him a few more times, making sure to completely coat his shaft with both of your arousals. as you lowered yourself on him, you pulled him in for a heated kiss, swallowing his sounds of pleasure. when you had finally engulfed the entirety of his cock, you began moving your hips in circular motions, waiting for the both of you to get used to the feeling. the friction made him pull you closer, face buried in the crook of your neck while small whimpers left his lips, going straight to your core. your walls clenched around him tightly, drawing a loud groan from his chest, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

you kept kissing him, swallowing his groans and moans. he felt so good filling you up with his hard cock, he fit perfectly inside of you, as if he was made just for you; like a puzzle piece. “you feel so good, baby, stretching me out, so so good,” you praised him sweetly, hand running through his soft locks.

jaemin seemed to be unable to get enough of you. he didn’t want this to end, he wanted to stay with you –preferably inside of you–, be able to feel you so close and know he is the one who is making you feel so good.

“wait, fuck,” he gasped trying to catch his breath, “wait, i’m g-gonna cum if you keep going.” it hadn’t been long, but he was already worked up since you started touching him earlier. “is that so? remember we’re not using a condom, baby. if you cum inside me i could get pregnant.” you hummed, trying to get a reaction to your words out of him. and you got it as a higher pitched moan fell from his lips, feeling his grip on your waist tighten.

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you, huh?” you quirked an eyebrow, smirking to yourself when you felt him twitch inside of you. “yes”, he whimpered, vision blurred, the pleasure overpowering the fear of being caught. he found himself enjoying the thrill more than he should, almost embarrassed with how easily you could make him lose all his self-control. he knew you were playing with his mind, pushing him just enough to make him risk everything; his reputation, his image. exactly how you managed to get him to lose his innocence.

“what a filthy little boy, who would have guessed perfect student na jaemin was so much of a slut”, you whispered in his ear while raking your nails down his chest. jaemin could only buck his hips to meet yours, desperate to feel more, thighs burning from the effort. he was getting restless, unable to keep quiet as moans rolled off of his tongue with every roll of your hips. your mouth attached itself to his neck, biting harshly to leave pretty red marks that were soon to become purple. the sound of pages turning and typing on the library’s computers reminding you of where you were.

“please, i’m so close,” he didn’t even know what he was pleading for anymore, the only thing he knew was that he needed you, all of you, in every way possible; in every way you were willing to let him have you. “wanna cum inside my tight little pussy, baby? wanna fill me up with your hot cum and put your baby inside of me?” with glassy eyes and hot tears threatening to fall down his crimson cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure which was almost making him dizzy, he let out a string of ‘yes, yes, yes’. his hands clutched your hips to bring you closer, digging his nails on the flesh and leaving crescent moon shaped marks. a moan slipped from your lips, only increasing his desperation.

you picked up your pace, your naked thighs slapping lightly against his clothed ones. the both of you could hear the wet mewls your cunt made every time you lowered yourself on him until he was balls deep inside of you. his hips raised to meet yours, hitting your most sensitive spot with the tip of his cock, as he tried to match your fast rhythm.

jaemin didn’t know what to do with himself. he knew he had to be quiet or else someone was going to realize what was going on, but he physically couldn’t hold the sounds in. in fact, he could almost taste the faint taste of copper from biting too harshly on the flesh of his lips. on the other hand, you didn’t seem to have as much trouble to keep your cool, as only a couple of sighs of pleasure left your lips from time to time. little did jaemin know you were struggling to keep your mouth shut. every thrust of his hips causing him to hit deeper, the fucked out look in his face motivating you to go faster.

though you weren’t as close to cumming as he was, you knew this was his first time and it seemed like he was about to combust. it wouldn’t be so nice of you to make him wait longer, would it? “cum for me baby boy,” and that’s all it took for jaemin to reach his high, hips stuttering and hands trembling. feeling his seed paint your velvet walls, your hand went down your body to find your clit, starting to rub circles against your sensitive bud. a wave of pleasure shot through your body and made your hips jerk roughly against him. the sob jaemin let out went straight to your core making your climax approach faster than you would have thought.

taking advantage of the slippery mess he had made of the both of you, you slid up and down on him faster and with more strength. jaemin, seeing as you weren’t going to stop anytime soon, started growing impatient. “t-to much, p–ah, please, it’s too much”, but you didn’t stop, gripping his strong arms and grinding harder against him. “no, no, please, it hurts” he cried out desperately, begging you to stop bouncing on his oversensitive cock. you shook your head and pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt. you smacked your mouths together, diving in for another sloppy kiss that had jaemin weak on the knees and a moaning mess.

when you tore away from him, jaemin brought his fist to his face and bit it hard, trying equally as hard to control himself. his second orgasm of the day was coming closer and oh was it going to be strong. when it finally happened, his eyes rolled to the back, head dropping back. that was the last straw as you felt yourself coming, walls tightening and clenching around him to milk him dry, the movements of your hand becoming sloppy. he felt light-headed, slightly blacking out for a few seconds until he managed to recover his consciousness.

using his shoulders to help yourself off of him, you let him slip out of you. jaemin winced from the oversensitivity, hands quickly tucking himself inside his pants. as you fixed your ruined panties and messy hair, properly tidying up your clothes, you once again threw your bag over your shoulder. he eyed you with a disoriented look in his face, confused as to what you were doing.

he saw you turn around on your heels before walking out of the library, only your panties preventing his cum from running down your thighs. you left him there, without a single word, not even spared him a glance. you walked away from him as if you didn’t just fuck the life out of him, as if he hadn’t just gifted you his virginity, or more like as if you hadn’t just stolen it. as if all the kisses you shared and loving pet names you used on him meant nothing.

and the worst part of it all was the pang of hurt jaemin felt in his heart when realization fell down on him like a bucket of cold water.

to you, that moment meant nothing. because to you, he didn’t mean anything.

–lia:)

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fific7 · 3 years

Text

Into the Darkness / Part 4

The Darkling x Reader

A/N: The final chapter. This does not follow canon, it’s literally just lemon zest 🍋 ... I have a vision of Ben Barnes in his black Kefta and riding boots permanently stuck in my brain right now. Attempting to write it right out of there.

Warnings: 18+ please due to NSFW content. Some dom/sub interaction, being restrained, coercion, questionable consent (thankfully it takes place in a fantasy universe), sexual content including oral, loss of virginity, very rough unprotected* sex. I don’t mention her actual age, but Reader is not underage.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

[My GIF]

The Darkling looked at you with icy eyes. He took off his Kefta and threw it onto one of the chairs, and began unbuckling his trousers. “Take your clothes off, and get on the bed.”

He was furious. Jealous and furious. He fucked you for so long and so hard that you were weeping rivers of tears by the end of it. He’d stopped several times to pull you into a new position, before thrusting back into you and continuing his attack. Every time you gasped more loudly than usual, he smiled coldly at you.

He was fucking you from behind now. As he was about to come, he grabbed you by the hair and pulled your head back, hissing in your ear, “Remember who you belong to, little dove.” Tugging at your hair, he commanded, “Say it! Say who you belong to!” as he released his come into you.

“You... I belong to you, moi soverennyi!” you managed to say, breathing shakily from his prolonged physical assault on you. That’s what it felt like to you, an assault, a punishment. He’d never been so rough with you before, so relentless while he was fucking you. It was well over an hour since he’d pounced on you when you’d first lain naked on the bed, and he hadn’t let up once.

He rolled off you, got up and stalked into the screened-off bathing area, where you heard him taking a piss. You surveyed yourself while he was absent; bites, scratches and fingermarks - which would surely bruise - were apparent all over your body. Your breasts were sore from his incessant kneading of them, your nipples inflamed and painful from him constantly sucking and biting at them.

Your thighs were marked by his fingers and a pink rash from his beard was already showing between your legs. That same beard had also scratched and irritated your mouth and chin. He’d sucked love bites onto your neck, collarbone and breasts. You groaned and turned over to lie on your back, pulling the covers slowly over your abused body.

He walked back to the bed, pulling the covers back off and barking at you to get up and get on your knees. You sobbed, “Please, please...no, moi soverennyi....” He grabbed your arm and pulled you onto the floor. “Shut up and do it!” You wobbled up onto your knees, aware of his hard cock right in front of your face. “Open your mouth.” You did so, and he thrust into your mouth, pushing in so fast and so deep that despite all his recent schooling of you, you choked immediately.

He didn’t stop or back out, merely began roughly fucking into your mouth. Eventually you managed to draw in a breath, and tried to stop choking as he thrust in and out. You thanked the saints when you felt his warmth flooding your throat, and swallowed it as quickly as you could.

He allowed you to get back into bed, and you sank gratefully onto the mattress, pulling up the covers once more. He joined you, firmly grasping your jaw with one hand, “Never, ever, act like that with one of my men again.” He released you, lying down on his back. “You are mine,” you heard him say in a low voice, “mine!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

It had taken you forever to fall asleep and when you awoke early the next morning, every single part of your body was aching. You were suddenly aware of a pair of grey eyes on you. His head was propped up on his hand, and he was just staring at you.

He rolled the sheet down until your breasts were exposed. Leaning over, he sucked on one of your nipples, grasping your other breast and groping it. You winced, they were so sensitive after all the manhandling they’d endured the night before. He saw your expression, but kept on doing what he was doing.

“I’m the only one who gets to do this,” he said, giving your breast an extra-firm squeeze, which made you gasp. “I’m the only one who gets to do this.” He kissed you, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. “And I’m the only one who gets to do this.” His head disappeared under the covers, and you felt him tonguing between your legs. “And this.” He parted your legs and you felt his cock there for a split second, before it sank into you. He moved fully onto you, pinning your hands on the pillows above your head and began to thrust.

Your eyes were watering as he ground into you, in pain but trying not to cry out. He reached his climax, and pulled out of you, releasing your hands. He lay on his back, staring at the material of the tent above him. “Your body has made me insane. You have made me insane.” You looked at him, “What do you mean?” “I’ve lost my mind over you, you’re constantly in my thoughts. I will .. not.. have you speaking with or being looked at by other men.”

You sighed, “So...what?....I have to remain locked away from everyone? How is that fair?”

He didn’t answer you, but got out of bed and started to get dressed. “Two of the serving women will come to you this afternoon,” he said, “do as they tell you.” He pulled on his boots, shrugged into his Kefta and left the tent.

You had no idea what that was all about. So you ran a warm bath, soaking in it and tried to soothe away all your aches and pains.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The two serving women in their white and gold Keftas arrived after you’d eaten a light lunch. They’d brought an extravagant black silk Kefta with them, along with some ivory silk underwear, and said it was all for you to wear this afternoon. You were completely confused. Why? Wear to what? But you knew better than to ask them.

They cast odd looks at you, lingering on the love bites visible above your robe, and on the fingermarks on your wrists. You felt jealousy swirling in the air, but steadfastly ignored it. You were used to everyone’s wary, jealous and strange reactions to you these days.

However, you soon found yourself in yet another rose oil bath, this time insisting you didn’t need their help. You could only imagine the rumours that would fly if they saw your ravaged body. After your bath, you donned the silk underwear and put your linen robe back on.

Your hair was pinned up in a loose swirl by one of the serving women, you were dressed in the new finery and were then brought by them to the large meeting tent. They left you at the main entrance, so you lifted up the flap and stepped inside.

You could see him pacing beside the large campaign table. There was an unfamiliar man on the other side of it, dressed in the grey of the Oprichniki. The Darkling turned to you as you entered the tent. His eyes looked like a glacier, freezing you with their icy intensity.

“Welcome to your wedding ceremony,” he said.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d stumbled slightly as he’d said that. “What?” you shrieked. His eyes closed in irritation, “Be quiet!”

He walked over to you, taking your hand in his and lifting it up as if you were going to dance. “We are getting married,” he stated. “It’s the only way I can still my mind, rid it of this unease.”

“What unease?” you asked. “The feeling that if I don’t make this official, it will cease,” he answered. “That someone may try to take you from me.” You looked at him, amazed. Had this all been triggered by a short, innocent conversation with Ivan? “I was merely conversing with Ivan,” you mumbled.

He laughed, but it was not with amusement. “You’re oblivious, aren’t you? All the men look at you with lust in their eyes, and want to possess you. They are jealous of me because I have you. The women are all jealous of you because you’re with me.”

Your gaze dropped from his. “I never asked for this, it’s your doing.” He nodded, “Yes, I know. But if I marry you, it will still all the tongues from wagging. It will also prove that it’s a permanent arrangement. That you will not be replaced. That I will not release you to be with other men.”

He walked you forward to the table. The Oprichnik, meanwhile, went to the main entrance and brought two more people into the tent. One of them was Ivan, the other unknown to you but also dressed in grey. Ivan looked extremely uncomfortable but gave you a short nod. These were the witnesses, you guessed. The original Oprichnik was also an ordained priest, you were told.

You took a deep breath as the brief ceremony commenced. How were you feeling about this? No discussion, no betrothal, nothing - it was all his decision. Anger boiled up in your veins, before subsiding as you realised - and accepted - that it would provide a high level of protection and security for you and your family. And it seemed you didn’t have any say in the matter anyway.

After the Oprichnik finished intoning the marriage vows, you were both required to respond “I swear an eternal oath to you by these vows.” Neither of you would be able to break this contract.

You were surprised when at this point the Darkling produced two black wedding bands from a side pocket, both of them with his symbol engraved on them. Yours was slightly thinner than his, and he slid it onto your ring finger before kissing it, and your finger.

You placed his ring onto his finger, following suit by kissing it and his finger. And that was it. Ten minutes and you were bonded to each other for eternity in the eyes of the saints. He leant in and kissed you softly. It was in complete contrast to his earlier treatment of you, and you felt even more conflicted about this dark, mysterious and still dangerous man.

There were toasts with kvas, and then you both left to walk back to your tent. You noticed that Kirigan had taken a very long and circuitous route back through the Camp, and he had placed your left hand on his right arm. He’d then placed his left hand over yours, so that both rings were prominently on display. You realised that this was his very public wedding announcement to the Second Army. The whispers and wide-eyed looks you both received as you walked through the Camp were quite something to hear and see.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were introduced - albeit it briefly - to an entirely different General Kirigan on your wedding night. One who took his time to remove your clothes, layer by layer. One who tenderly stroked your face as you lay next to him in bed, one who very gently entered you after kissing you until you’d run out of oxygen. One who gasped out, “My wife!” as he released his come into you. Who placed kisses on your breasts as you drifted off to sleep after sex. He didn’t disturb your sleep any further that night.

In the morning, he’d brought you tea and sweet bread to wake you with. You stretched, sitting up as he placed the tray onto the bed beside you. “Good morning, wife,” you heard, as you looked over at him. He was already dressed.

“Good morning, moi soverennyi,” you replied, but he shook his head. “You should address me as moi muzh,” he said, “...which is ‘husband’. Also lord, bedfellow, helpmate.” You nodded, “As you wish, moi muzh.” He smiled at you, gently moving a strand of your hair back from your face. “I will address you as moi zhena.... ‘wife’.”

His fingers strayed down to your breasts, cupping one of them and rubbing his thumb over your nipple. “I wish I could spend more time with you ... and these beautiful breasts....” his gaze dropped to where his thumb was, “...but I have an important strategy meeting I must attend. It shouldn’t take long.”

His eyes darkened to stormy grey, “And I’ll then expect my wife to be ready to pleasure her new husband.”

You nodded, “Of course, moi muzh.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d dozed back off, enjoying some alone time and recharging your inner batteries somewhat. Then you felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you, and the bedclothes were pulled back. Your eyes opened and met his grey ones. He was already naked, moving onto the bed next to you, pulling your nightrobe up and off over your head, his eyes roaming greedily over your body.

His hands, unsurprisingly, went straight to your breasts and began massaging them. You sat up, moving your arms a bit so that he had better access to them. You’d accepted his obsession with them, and now acquiesced to every touch. Apart from anything else, he was now your husband, and you were under oath to obey him in everything.

His stiffened cock was already leaking pre-cum, and you readied yourself. Not a moment too soon, as he then straddled you, parting your legs and sinking into you. You gasped as he started moving on you, back to a fast pace and deep thrusts.

You’d been moaning softly at each thrust, when suddenly you were aware of another presence in the tent. Your eyes widened as you looked over his shoulder; no-one ever came in except by invitation. A sound of a throat clearing, and the Darkling’s head whipped round. It was Ivan, looking both incredibly embarrassed and in great fear.

“Forgive me, moi soverennyi,” he muttered, “you know I wouldn’t normally intrude but there’s been a report of...”

You’d been shielded from Ivan’s sight by The Darkling’s body, but now he also pulled up the bed covers over the two of you. “Get out,” he hissed at him, “I’ll see you outside when I’m finished.”

Ivan swiftly left, and you wondered if he’d also taken leave of his senses. He surely must’ve had a fair idea of what Kirigan would be occupied with when he returned to his tent after the meeting.

Kirigan turned back to you, he’d slid out of you when Ivan had come into the tent. “Where were we?” he smirked. He pulled you back towards him, giving his length a couple of strokes before pushing back inside you, continuing where he left off. Once he’d released into you, he got up and started re-dressing himself.

He left the tent, returning twenty minutes later looking angry. “That was a complete waste of time.” You were sitting up in bed and smiled at him, “Then what was his real reason for disturbing you, moi muzh?” He shrugged out of his Kefta, placing it on the chair, before turning and looking at you. “Why do you think? He wanted to see me fucking you so he can relive it in his dreams and pretend it’s him, moi zhena.”

You cast your eyes down, “He finds me so attractive?” He laughed, “Of course he does! Every time he looks at you, he wants to fuck you senseless.” You looked back up at him, “Are you going to punish him, moi muzh?” Again he laughed, “No! He is already being punished, every single moment of every single day, knowing that you’re mine and that he will never have you. Why do you think I made him one of the witnesses to our wedding?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

A few days later, you awoke to a stiff cock hovering at your lips, so you obediently opened your mouth and lay there as Kirigan thrust far down to the back of your throat. You swirled your tongue around it and sucked on him as hard as you could, just as he’d instructed you. When you felt his warm release in your throat, you swallowed it down, coughing slightly when you weren’t quite fast enough.

He’d then followed his usual morning routine of fucking you a short time later, before dressing and going to his first meeting. Once again, an hour later, an Oprichnik came to your tent and said you were to attend at the meeting tent. Now familiar with what this would lead to, you followed him over there and waited in the side room. Kirigan marched in a few moments later, sitting in the chair and pulling you onto his lap as he unbuttoned his fly. His hard length was inside you in seconds, and you moved quickly on him to bring him to his climax so he could return to the meeting.

He pulled your face to his and kissed you hungrily. He drew back, looking intensely at you but saying nothing. You stood up, rearranging your clothing as you did so and preparing to leave. “Wait,” you heard, and you turned to him. He stood up, re-buttoning his fly, approaching you and placing his hand on your cheek. “You know that this is not just about sex, don’t you?”

You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. He continued, “I married you because I wanted to fully claim you. But...” he hesitated then went on, “I also feel love for you.” You gasped, amazed at his confession. “You do?” “Yes, I do.”

You were silent. What did you feel for him? Attraction, fear (still), respect for his power, grateful for his protection, possessiveness.... but love? You looked up at him.

“I do have feelings for you, moi muzh. I think love is mixed in amongst them.”

He smiled down at you, “I’m glad to hear you say that. I hope that love will soon be dominant over the rest.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The next morning after Kirigan had left you, you had to run to the bathing room to vomit into the bucket there. This happened again twice in the afternoon. When this began to happen on a daily basis, he called one of the medics to examine you. Your monthly cycle had been due two days before and it hadn’t put in an appearance yet.

After carrying out a thorough examination and asking several more questions of you, the medic declared that you were indeed pregnant. The Darkling smiled broadly and kissed you, pulling you close against him.

“Well done, little dove. You are carrying my child.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

He was even more attentive to you after that. And as the days and weeks passed, your belly swelled, your breasts became even fuller - much to his delight - and your mood swings were atrocious. Even the Darkling didn’t feel brave enough during those to challenge you, when you said you didn’t feel like sex.

He still got his fair share on a daily basis, of course; since you’d come into his life, the Darkling was no longer prepared to go without sex, so he was still on you at least twice a day but had toned down his dominant preferences due to your condition.

But eventually, one evening you and he were looking at the grey eyes and dark hair of a miniature Darkling, who was named Aleksander.

The Darkling looked at the two of you, a smile on his lips. You saw the love in his eyes for you and this child.

“My son,” said the Darkling, placing his hand on the baby’s head and laying his other hand on your face, “my wife. I love you.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#the darkling x reader #the darkling #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #shadow and bone #ben barnes #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan x reader #the darkling imagine #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling into the darkness

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onecanonlife · 3 years

Text

Wilbur wakes up one morning to find white in his hair. This is—irritating, for several reasons, but that's all it is. An annoyance. A distraction.

There's nothing deeper at work here. There's nothing wrong at all.

(Or, the stresses of the presidency give Wilbur a white streak of hair earlier in canon, and somehow, this serves as the cry for help he can never bring himself to make.)

(word count: 6,040)

(first part) (second part) (fourth part)

--------------------

Part Three

She knocks twice before opening the door, and he barely has time to look up before she’s there. Slightly hesitant, perhaps, but the look on her face is one of resolve as she steps into the room, and nudges the door closed behind her.

It takes a second to find his voice. He can’t remember if she’s ever visited him here. Surely she has, at one point or another. Anyone is free to come find him whenever they choose. He makes himself available, or at least, as available as he can be. The door is never locked, and he is always here.

“Niki?” he asks. “Is something wrong?” He puts down his pen. He hadn’t actually been using it, had instead been twirling it between his fingers and staring off into space. He finds himself doing that incredibly often, and sometimes, he catches himself wondering if it’s worth getting out of bed at all, if that’s all he’s going to do with his time.

She smiles at him, then, but like so many of the smiles she’s directed towards him lately, it seems strained, thin, and it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Not for me,” she says. “But I would like to talk to you for a little while, if that would be okay?”

She’s already reaching for a chair, one of the ones he keeps in here, set up so that he can carry out meetings across this desk. None of them are very comfortable, but before he can offer to find her a better one—there has to be one somewhere in this building—she is sitting, perching on the edge, crossing one leg over the other and resting her forearms on her thigh.

Anxiety is already rising. He doesn’t know why she’d come here, doesn’t know what she’d want to talk about, if nothing is wrong on her end of things. Not with that look on her face. Except, there was the whole thing yesterday, and he was very rude to all of them, so perhaps that’s the subject matter. He gave an apology, but it was rushed, and then he all but ran away. He wouldn’t blame her if she had a piece to say on that, little though he wants to discuss it.

So perhaps he should go ahead and get in on it.

“About yesterday—” he starts, but she’s saying the exact same thing, almost in unison, so he cuts off. But she does too, and for a second, they just stare at each other, neither sure how to proceed.

“Go on,” Niki says, after a moment, and he nods, somewhat tentative.

“Right. I just wanted to say, about yesterday, I really am sorry about that. I didn’t mean to lose my temper there. I was just feeling a bit stressed, ended up snapping. But I’m sorry. It wasn’t anything you did.”

Niki draws in a breath. He can see her steeling herself, visibly, and his trepidation grows; what could she possibly have to say to him that would take so much mental preparation?

“I accept your apology,” she says, “but, actually Wilbur, I wanted to apologize to you.”

He blinks. “What?”

“I pushed you yesterday, even when it was pretty obvious you weren’t feeling comfortable talking about it,” she says. “I think—I think we do need to talk about some things, and that’s why I’m here, but I shouldn’t have confronted you like I did. Especially in front of others, since it was a conversation that we had with just each other. So I’m very sorry about that.”

He isn’t entirely sure how to respond to that. Some part of him feels a bit mollified, because it is true that he felt uncomfortable with the direction the conversation took. But at the same time, that doesn’t really excuse how he reacted to it. He could have handled it better. Should have handled it better, in fact.

“Oh,” he says, and scrambles for something else. Talking is his thing, is what he’s good at. He can’t just be saying oh to people. He needs a response. Needs to be well-spoken, eloquent, because that’s what is expected of him, and he has to fulfill expectations. “Well, that’s alright, then. You really don’t have anything you need to apologize for.”

She frowns. Why did that make her frown? What did he say?

“Okay,” she says, and that doesn’t help him figure it out at all. “Would you mind if we talked about something, though?”

He doesn’t know what else she would want to talk about. At least, not like this. Not coming to his office, expression serious, body language tense. Not saying this, that nothing is wrong with her—because if she doesn’t have a problem of some kind, he doesn’t know why she would be acting this way. Unless there’s another problem with him. Or she thinks there’s another problem with him. But—no, he’s been doing well, lately. Yesterday’s outburst aside, he’s made all of his recent meetings, he’s finished all the paperwork that urgently needed to be done, and he’s been meticulous about his appearance.

Mostly. His coat still hasn’t made it into the wash. But he’s done everything that he’s had the time and energy for, and he thought that it was all holding up.

“Of course,” he says. “What is it?”

She draws in another breath. That’s the second time, now, that she’s steadied herself in so obvious a fashion.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I’d really, really like it if you’d answer me truthfully,” she says, and he can feel his pulse quickening already. “Wil, are you alright?”

She puts a strange sort of emphasis on the final word. He’s not sure why. For a second, he’s lost, adrift, has no idea at all how to answer, because—because of course he’s alright. He’s fine. Just fine. He’s keeping his head above water, steering clear of the circling sharks, and that’s what’s most important. So why do the words linger in his mouth before he can force them out? Why does it take so much effort?

No. He needs to pull himself together.

“Yes,” he says. “Niki, I’m perfectly well.”

Her face crumples. He jolts, hand jerking forward, his instinct to comfort her, but his desk is in the way.

“Wil,” she says, voice soft. “You’re not sleeping.”

The way she says it, so frankly, so matter-of-fact, as if she knows, takes him aback.

“I—” he starts, but she’s already gone on.

“Your eyes are always bloodshot, and I know I joked about the bags under them, but—they’re really bad. Really dark. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but sometimes, when you walk, you kind of—sway, a little bit. Like you’re too tired to stay upright properly.”

He hasn’t noticed. He hasn’t—that can’t possibly be right, can it? Because it’s true, he’s not getting as much sleep as he would like, but it can’t be that bad. It’s not as if he never sleeps at all. So it can’t be that bad. Can’t be that noticeable. Niki has to be looking too hard, jumping at shadows that aren’t there, because the alternative is worse. Is unthinkable.

Because if what she’s saying is true, who else has seen?

“I sleep,” he refutes, but it sounds weak to his own ears. Meek. And Niki shakes her head.

“Not enough,” she says. “And—” She cuts off. And then, she reaches out for him. He watches as she closes her fingers around his wrist, feeling almost outside of himself. His head is buzzing. “Wil, you’re too skinny. I’m really worried that you’re not eating enough.”

He eats. He does. Maybe not a lot, since food has become increasingly hard to choke down—this morning, for instance, he tried, and almost threw it all back up on the spot. But he does eat. And it’s not like he wouldn’t, if he could. He just sort of—can’t. Not much, at any rate. But it’s not as though he doesn’t eat at all.

“I think you might be reading too much into things, there,” he says, and tries a smile. “I eat, I promise. How could I not, with you around?”

“You’ve been by twice in as many weeks,” Niki states. “And both times, you left in a hurry, before I could give you much of anything at all, because the conversation turned to something you didn’t want to talk about. No, you can’t tell me I’m wrong,” she adds, raising a finger at him. He leans back, away from it. “I’m not wrong. That’s why you left. Both times. And I—I really am sorry, Wil, if this isn’t something you want to talk about. If you don’t feel comfortable with it. I don’t want to hurt you, or pressure you, or anything like that. But I’m scared you’re hurting yourself.”

She’s—what.

Now that—that truly is a ludicrous idea. That is—

No. He wouldn’t do something like that. He wouldn’t—by itself, the risk of someone noticing is more than enough to dissuade him, though—he is self-aware enough to realize that if that’s his first reason for—abstaining, then that might not be a good sign. Of. Things. He’ll think about it later.

Or not. Or maybe never. This seems like a good thing to not think about, actually.

“Not in the way you’re thinking of,” Niki says, and he’s left it too long again. Too long without a reply. He keeps doing that, keeps getting lost in his own head. He needs to stay more present, needs to keep his head in the game. It’s just hard, when everything feels so far away, when he’s constantly thinking through a thick fog. “Not unless—not unless you are, but—”

She sounds like she might actually cry, at that, and that is enough to force him to focus.

“I’m not,” he says, and to his relief, his voice comes out firm, steady. “I swear to you, I’m not.”

“Okay,” she says. “That’s good. I’m—I’m really glad. But—you’re overworking yourself. You’re not sleeping or eating enough, and you’re always in here, and that’s—none of it’s good for you. None of it is healthy. And then, your hair—”

Annoyance bubbles up. Just a bit.

“Do we have to be on about that again?” he asks. “We’ve been through this. It’s not a big deal.”

“I know you don’t think it is,” she says. “But I’ve heard about things like this, Wil. It’s not that—it’s not that it looks bad, or anything like that. It’s just that hair doesn’t do that without a reason. Not when you’re twenty-four years old. That’s why I keep bringing it up. You’re stressed, even if you try to deny it.”

“And what if I am?” he asks. “It’s a stressful job. I’m running a nation here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it. It certainly doesn’t mean I’m not capable of doing my job.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Niki says. “Who—I know you’re capable. I never said that you weren’t.”

He may have overplayed his hand a bit, with that one. There’s a bit of confusion in her tone now, where there wasn’t before, stacked on top of an increasing amount of worry. He’s not doing very good work of assuaging her concerns. But even still, this conversation is bothering him, now. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep a straight face, and he brings his hands together, folding them on top of his desk. Her hand falls away from his wrist, and—it’s because he’s so tired, that he has to catch himself before he grabs it, moves it back to where it was. He’s not that needy.

“Then I’m not quite sure that I understand the point of this,” he says, and tries his best not to bite out the words. Just because his temper is on a short fuse doesn’t mean that he can take it out on Niki. She’s just trying to help him. “I am stressed, it’s true. But it’s not as if there’s anything to be done about that. And as I’ve been saying, it’s nothing that I can’t handle.”

“The point is that you’re working yourself into the ground!” Niki says, her eyes flashing. “It doesn’t matter if you can handle it, it’s about whether you should!”

“And why shouldn’t I?” he snaps. “Aren’t I the president? Isn’t this my job?”

“Not if it costs you this much!” she snaps back.

And—she doesn’t mean it like that. He’s almost certain that she doesn’t mean it like that, doesn’t mean it like it came out, doesn’t mean she thinks he shouldn’t be president. The thing is, he would accept it, if that were the case. If his people banded together and decided that someone else would do a better job than him. If they thought he was no longer deserving of the position. He would accept it. He would step down, retire to private citizenship. He just doesn’t know what he would do afterward. Doesn’t know what he would do with himself, if the country he founded decided he was no longer good enough for them.

But of course, he has never been good enough. Not really. He’s hanging onto his pretense by bloody fingertips.

Has Niki realized it?

“It’s not worth it if this is what it does to you,” Niki continues, voice softer. “Nothing is. Nothing matters if you’re not taking care of yourself.”

He doesn’t—that’s not right. It can’t be right, because the country is more important. L’Manberg is more important, has been since the day they declared their independence, staked everything on a van and a dream. He started it, and so it is up to him to continue it, because the prosperity of his people must come first. His nation must come first.

What is he, in the face of that?

For a second, Niki goes blurry. He blinks, hard, and she comes back into focus, but his eyes are prickling. Stinging. His chest has gone tight, his breaths coming shorter, and he doesn’t want this. This can’t be happening now. He needs to—to shove it all away, down in a box, never to see the light of day. Only to be opened when he’s alone, in his quarters, safely ensconced where there is no one else to watch him break down. No one else to watch his shame.

He’s not doing this in front of Niki.

And yet, the sensation doesn’t subside, so he stands abruptly, surprising her, he thinks, and he walks to the window, shoving the curtains away and staring out over what he can see of the country from here. It’s not much; the window is not very big, but he can see the walls, the black and yellow ramparts. Standing tall, standing strong. This is why he does this, why he works so hard, why he refuses to show vulnerability. This is why. This is what he is protecting, what he must continue to protect, for as long as he is allowed.

His eyes sting again, the world wavering. There is a sob trapped behind his ribcage, clawing at him, trying to tear him open. He breathes, deeply, and doesn’t let it. Now is not the time, and here is not the place, and he will not lose his composure. He will not. Not over—and what is he reacting to in the first place? Niki’s words? He has no real reason for the tears welling up. He’s just weak. Emotionally. That’s what this is. And that’s why he can’t let it show.

Another deep breath. He pretends it doesn’t shake.

“Wil?” Niki asks. Behind him, now, and he doesn’t turn to look back at her.

“L’Manberg is worth everything,” he says. “You do understand that, right?” His voice doesn’t waver.

“I love L’Manberg,” Niki says. “We all love L’Manberg. But we don’t love it more than we love you.”

He winces, and he’s glad he’s turned away from her, glad she didn’t see.

Perhaps she believes that’s the truth. But it can’t possibly be. He could understand them loving him in connection to loving L’Manberg, this city, this nation, this wonderful place that they’ve built together, that he’s poured his sweat and blood and tears into. He and L’Manberg are irrevocably intertwined, and he could understand loving him, simply by virtue of loving the other. But separately? He hasn’t done anything. L’Manberg is his crowning achievement; besides that, what does he have to offer people? What reason? What virtue?

In a way, he is L’Manberg, and he cannot remove himself from it, no more than a bird can remove its own wings.

“Wil?” Niki says. Her voice has gone sharp. “You do know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” he says, he lies, and—his voice breaks. Just a little bit. It would probably be unnoticeable, if the circumstances were any different. If Niki weren’t already paying so much attention to him, scrutinizing him, spotlight turned up to its maximum brightness. Like he’s on stage, and she’s in the audience, and he’s fumbled the line and she’s only noticed because she knows how the play is supposed to go.

Metaphors. Spiraling away from him. Just like this conversation.

“Wil,” Niki says again, more insistent. And closer. She’s stood up, stepped toward him. He still doesn’t turn, because the prickling has only gotten worse, and he’s scared to blink, lest that send the tears spilling over. If she looks at his face, she’ll see them. There’s no avoiding that. “Wil, please. Don’t lie to me.”

Ah. She knows.

He’s not sure why that’s the thing that breaks him. Why that’s the thing that pushes it all over into being too much.

The sob escapes.

Only partially; he tamps down on it on instinct, and his fist flies up to his mouth. Habit, that, to muffle his sounds. But that almost makes it worse, because the sob comes out sounding not quite like a sob, but instead more of a strangled whimper, bit off and weak, like the dying call of some small, hapless animal.

He doesn’t let another one out. He presses his fist against his lips, though he doesn’t part them, doesn’t bite down. But the damage has already been done, and then, Niki is there, right by his side, and he doesn’t dare to look directly at her, but he can imagine what expression she’s making. Some variation on the same one she’s had this whole time. Concern, deep and abiding and wholly undeserved, wholly unneeded.

“Hey,” she says. “Please talk to me. What is it? What can I do?”

His throat is too thick, too clogged. He has no hope of evening out his voice.

“You could go,” he manages, hoarse. Blunt, and he hopes she doesn’t mistake it as anger. He’s not angry. Not at her, at least. “I might need a moment?”

He didn’t mean for that to be a question. But Niki just steps closer, shaking her head.

“I’ll do anything other than that,” she says. “I’m not leaving you alone right now. Not if—oh, Wil.”

She has a good angle, now, to see his face fully. So the jig is up, and he knows there’s no hope of getting her to leave now. That’s how Niki is. Too kind. Too caring. And sure enough, she reaches out toward him in the next moment, and his usual reaction would be to flinch away, but instead, he just watches through obscured vision as her hand nears his face, and cups his cheek, tilting his head toward her.

“What’s wrong?” she whispers. Part of him wants to jerk away from the contact, and part of him wants to stay there forever. Or for a good, long time, at least. Just because it really is nice to be touched in a way that is not meant to harm him.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “It’s nothing.” But he can’t keep his eyes open any longer, so he blinks, and there go the first tears. Dripping down, out in the open, no disguising them. There are more sobs building up, but these, he forces down, keeps in his chest, out of his throat. Even if it makes his breathing unsteady, makes his chest jump and hitch every few seconds, it’s better than the alternative.

“It’s not nothing,” she says. “If it’s hurting you, then it’s not nothing. Please believe me.”

He can’t. He can’t do that. Not even for her sake.

“Is it what I said?” she asks. “I swear, I’m not angry with you. I just want to help.”

He shudders, and turns his face away from her. Her hand falls from him.

“Is it—is it that?” she asks, and oh, how he wishes she wouldn’t. “Why does that upset you?”

He—he can’t. He can’t answer that. He can’t talk about this. He can’t.

“If you would—if you would rather I go get someone else, I could do that,” Niki says, slowly, and he can tell that it pains her. He might be hurting her feelings, with this. He wishes he could explain that it’s not her in particular that he can’t trust with this. It’s everyone.

For a moment, he entertains taking her up on the offer, if only because she would have to leave to retrieve someone, which would give him time to escape his office and go—where? Where would he go? To his room, to scream into his pillow once again? A bit late for that. And the idea is foolish anyhow; she doesn’t need to leave at all, can just talk to someone on her communicator and stay with him until they arrive, and no, absolutely not. He doesn’t want that. As bad as this is, as shit as he feels right now, he doesn’t want anyone else to see. It’s bad enough that it’s Niki but—what if it were Tubbo, or Tommy? One of the people who looks up to him as an example and not just a friend or brother?

No. Bad enough that it’s Niki, but better her than someone else, and he’s done it again, has taken too long to respond because his brain refuses to think any faster than a slow, plodding pace, a trot rather than a gallop, and—

“Please don’t,” he says, and it comes out both whisper and plea. And then, because he has to try again, because he won’t be satisfied unless he does, he says, “Really, I just need—a moment. It happens sometimes, it’s fine, but if we could maybe pick this up later—”

“I’m not leaving you while you’re crying,” Niki says. “Please get that through your head.”

“But you should,” he says. He fights to get the words out past the lump in his throats, past the pressure that continues to build up. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this. And I’m fine, because I can, I’m used to it. So if you’ll just give me a minute, I can—I can compose myself, and we can keep on.” He bites out each word, wary of letting something loose that he doesn’t want to, but that has the downside of airing his frustration again. He’s not trying to snap at her, he really isn’t, but better that than to dissolve into full-on crying. A few tears are manageable. He can get this back under control.

“Wilbur,” Niki says, “why on earth do you think you’re something that I have to deal with?”

He looks at her again, something in her tone compelling him. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright.

And this is not going to be the right answer, not going to be what she’s looking for, but he’s so worn out that he just—

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asks.

“Oh,” Niki says. “Oh. No, Wil, no, that’s not right. You’re not—is this why you haven’t told anyone? Because you’re—oh, Prime, Wil. You’re not something I have to ‘deal’ with. You’re my friend, and I care about you, and I want you to be okay.” And before he can even begin to think of how to respond to that, she steps forward, and then her arms are around him, and she’s hugging him.

That’s when his knees decide to buckle.

“Oh, shit,” Niki says, but she guides them both down to the floor, so that they’re kneeling, kneeling and she’s still hugging him, still has her hands splayed on his back. “Okay, you’re okay. Are you with me, Wil?”

He intends to say yes. What comes out instead is a small, “Mhm.” Not even a word. And he’d be angry with himself, except all of a sudden, his chest is heaving, and the tears are coming quicker, and scrunching up his eyes doesn’t help, and it sort of hurts, now, to hold back the sobs that want to wrench out of him, hurts in his ribs. And he’s shaking, and despite all of that, he’s starting to feel cloudy again, distant from himself, and with that realization comes another: at this point, he’s lost control. His body has decided to shut down on him, and he doesn’t really have a say in the matter.

The sobs start coming out. Loud, broken things, like shards of glass twisted and half-melted until there’s no putting the pieces back together the same.

His mind feels detached. Impartial. Numb. So he no longer bothers to try and stop it. Just floats, a bystander within himself, as he has a complete break down on the floor of his office, with Niki holding him.

He’s not sure how long it takes for the tears to stop. He’s not counting. Not taking notice of much of anything, really. His body wears itself out, and he’s left there, slumped against her, like an empty shell.

She’s been talking to him this whole time, a stream of platitudes, comfort words, tumbling after one another, but now, she stops. For a moment, there is silence. He can hear himself breathing, rough and ragged.

“Hey,” Niki says. “Are you still here?”

He’s not sure how to answer that. He doesn’t feel very present, and frankly, he likes it that way, right this second. If he were feeling any more present, he’d be dealing with far more than he thinks he’s equipped for. But he is here physically, and he has enough presence of mind to respond to her, at least, even if it all feels so very far away, and he is so very tired.

He has been this tired all along, he thinks. This was a breaking point. Does it make him feel any better, that this was probably inevitable?

“Yeah,” he murmurs. His head is resting on her shoulder. He keeps it that way. It’s easier if he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes.

“That’s good,” she says. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Are you actually asking,” he mumbles, “or are you going to make me anyway?”

She sighs. That was the wrong thing to say. It’s harder for him to care.

“I don’t want to make you do anything,” she says. “That’s not why I’m here. If you really, really don’t want to talk about it, then—we don’t have to. But I think you need to. I think you’re hurting, and you’ve kept it to yourself, and I think that’s not a good thing.”

“‘S better than the alternative.”

“Okay,” she says. “What’s the alternative?”

Is he really going to do this? Is he going to tell her? Every instinct he has cries out against it, but the thing about that is that his instincts are rather dull at the moment. Easier to push aside. And his logical reasoning informs him that he’s already cried all over her, so really, he owes her an explanation at this point. Doing so might make everything worse, but if that’s the case, it’s no more than he deserves, for being unable to keep it together.

“Niki,” he says, “I’m a bad president.”

His voice is muffled by the fabric of her shirtsleeve. But he knows she understands him, because she stiffens.

“What makes you say that?” she asks.

“‘M not any good,” he tells her. “I’ve got all this work to do and I can barely do any of it. I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I’ve only been pretending this whole time, to know what I’m doing. I’m a shit leader.”

“You’re not,” Niki says, “but if you really think that, why didn’t you ask for help?”

He shakes his head, still holding his face on her shoulder. He doesn’t want to see her expression. “Can’t,” he says. “‘M supposed to be able to do it. I didn’t want you to know I’m a failure.”

Niki doesn’t respond. For a full three seconds, and he wonders if this is the part where she leaves. Finally. And then, she stops hugging him, and the part of him that is still awake enough to form coherent sentences thinks, yes, this is it, this is what you have sowed. Except then, she doesn’t leave at all, makes no move to get up, and instead grips him by the arms, and moves him backwards, so that she can stare him right in the face.

“Wilbur Soot,” she says, and she sounds more upset than he has ever heard her. “You are not a failure.”

“I am,” he says. Why is he trying so hard to get her to believe it? Maybe he just feels like he’s committed, now, to pulling the rug out. “I am.”

“You’re not,” she insists. “You made this nation. You took a drug van and turned it into a country where everyone is happy and free. Everyone looks up to you. We all love you.”

And there it is. The problem, in a nutshell.

“And what happens when you stop?” he murmurs.

Niki is completely silent, completely still. Staring at him.

“What happens when it turns out I’ve never been good enough?” he continues, voice weak. “What happens when the man you look up to lets you down? What happens when you know that all I am, in the end, is a pathetic shell who can barely get himself out of bed in the morning, much less make any of the moves that would lead to actual prosperity? What happens when you all learn that your president is shit at his job?” His voice strengthens as he goes on, rises to a more normal tone, fueled by his own disgust.

In a way, it’s freeing, finally saying all of this aloud. Whatever the consequences may be.

“What exactly,” Niki says, “have we done to make you think there’s anything you could do that would make us stop caring about you?”

She actually does sound a little bit angry, now. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her nostrils flared. He opens his mouth to respond, because the answer to that should be fairly obvious at this point, but she continues before he can.

“Do you really think we only love you because of—because you’re president? Or because you’ve made a country? We love this country because you made it, not the other way around. Why would you—Wil. Have you been thinking like this the whole time?”

Suddenly, he finds himself unable to respond. Paralyzed. Stricken dumb. Blinking, working his jaw. She shakes her head, tossing her hair, and—are those tears glittering in her eyes? Surely not.

It’s another second before she keeps talking. She was waiting on a response from him, he believes, but it’s one that he is incapable of giving.

“Oh,” she says. “You really do believe that.”

And the way she says it—he wants to cry again, for putting that pain in her voice. That expression on her face. Her hands are still on his shoulders, have not yet been pulled back, but suddenly, his skin is crawling, the contact too much.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he’s not sure exactly what he’s apologizing for. For his numerous inadequacies, maybe. For the fact that he’s not strong enough for this, and never has been. For the way he started this country and so foolishly believed that he would be able to lead it well, that he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the paperwork and struck with the desire to lie in bed all day and do absolutely nothing, a desire that’s harder and harder to fight. For the manner in which his body has betrayed him, time and time again, for his hair turning white and his inability to prevent his outbursts and the way that it shut down on him just now, let everything out in the most unbecoming method possible. For the fact that he was weak enough to let it all show, too weak to press on and get through it.

For hurting her, certainly. He never wanted to do that.

But then, to his surprise, she yanks him forward, swift and insistent, into another hug. His mind shouts in alarm, but his body, once again, has a different idea, and he finds himself slumping into her hold again.

“You are worth more than L’Manberg,” she says. “If this place went up in flames tomorrow, I’d be most concerned with making sure you were alive.”

No. No, she can’t just say that, can’t say it and mean it, because if she does—

“Stop,” he rasps.

“No,” she says. “We don’t love you because you made this nation, or because you’re the president. We love you because you’re our friend, and you’re our friend because you’re good and kind and clever and funny, and you’re you. Not because you’re good at making speeches or signing papers or building walls. You’re just you. I promise that’s enough, Wilbur.”

He shudders again. Full-bodied.

“I don’t believe you,” he admits. What’s one more mark against him, at this point? “I can’t.”

“Then let us help you so that you can,” she says. “Don’t shut us out.”

That’s another thing that he can’t answer. His mind is spinning. He doesn’t know what to believe. He wishes this whole thing hadn’t happened in the first place, wishes she hadn’t stepped in here at all. And yet, some part of him feels safe. Safer than he’s felt in a good long while. He’s not so stupid as to think that it’s not because she’s holding him.

“How about we start with this?” she says. Her voice has softened. “How about you take a nap, and then, when you wake up, we get you some food. Something nice and simple, like soup.”

That—is easier to comprehend. Physical needs. Needs that he’s not intentionally neglecting, but that he can’t seem to make himself take care of. He can—he can do that, especially if it makes Niki feel better, and he is tired. Exhausted. His eyes are drooping shut already, though he shouldn’t fall asleep on Niki. He should go—back to his room. To his bed. That’s where he should sleep. Except he’s almost never able to get good sleep, there, and he still feels safe. Right here, right now. Safe, and he can’t remember the last time that happened. Can’t hope to anticipate the next time it will.

“Alright,” he mumbles. Niki isn’t pushing him off yet. Maybe she’ll wait until he’s out.

There’s still a portion of himself screaming not to do this. Screaming that he just keeps digging himself a bigger hole. That with everything he continues to reveal, with every weakness he puts on display, he’s only going to make the inevitable fallout worse. Because there will be fallout, no matter what Niki says. Perhaps she is telling the truth. Perhaps. But she doesn’t speak for everyone else, and he doesn’t want—

But he’s so tired, in the end.

“Don’t let anyone else in?” he says. He’s unsure if the words come out understandable. He’s slipping. He’s letting himself.

“Just sleep, Wil,” she answers, and that’s the last thing he hears.

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willowbleedsonpaper · 3 years

Text

Winter In The Shade XII

Part XII

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 2879

Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: Food and mentions of eating. A little angsty but nothing heartbreaking.

Want to know when I post the next part? Add yourself to my taglist!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Reg?” you called.

His body froze mid step, and then he turned around.

His face remained neutral, not an emotion crossing his features until he saw you there, standing in the middle of the hall. He opened his mouth but closed it again, his eyebrows rising slightly. He didn’t move from his spot, he just observed with doubt.

“Y/N.” he said, voice infuriatingly even and calm “You shouldn’t be out this late, you’ll get in trouble.” he took a few steps towards you, reaching his hand towards you, and you let him.

“It’s not that late.” you said, your usual light gone from your voice as you glanced slightly to your side, Sirius eyes pleading as he shook his head. You bit the inside of your cheek and gave him a subtle nod, his chest falling in relief as backed away, just seconds later he was gone from where you had hid together.

Your attention returned back to Regulus, his hand taking yours in a gentle grasp. He pulled you to his side and started moving through the same halls you always walked to get back to your common room, the opposite direction of where he had come.

The tension filled the air in a way it had never happened between you two, the silence uncomfortable enough to make you want to pull away from his arm and confront him, Sirius’ face flashing back in your mind and the desperation in his whispered words. “Don’t.” a simple mouthed word that made your stomach turn. You would have to wait to find out what was really happening. You knew Regulus would never tell you the truth, not about this. He would deny everything you just heard and somehow you knew you would believe him and forget about it for the night. But you weren’t the only one who heard him, his words would return to you in dreams and you would wake up with his voice not only inside your head but from himself, and you knew Sirius would be the same if not worse. There was not denying what you two heard that night.

“I thought you would be reading by now.” Regulus said, breaking the silence and just like that you were back next to your best friend. For a simple moment the last couple of minutes were erased from your head and you were back a few months ago, forcing Regulus to sneak out of your commons rooms late at night to bake cookies and make him live a little. Just the sound of his voice, those little words coming out of his mouth while he ignored the fact you knew more than he intended to let you know, while he acted as normal as he always did, that simple fact made your heartbeat slow down and put your mind at ease. Everything was the same as usual.

But then his voice turned cold and calculated, his words on repeat inside your head.

Pure enough

“I got a little hungry.” you lied, keeping your eyes in the distance as you kept talking “I got started with it but my stomach wouldn’t let me focus and I took a little walk to the kitchens.”

“In this direction?” he asked, and you turned your head to him, confusion written all over your face until you realized where you were.

“I think I need more sleep than I realized.” you laughed, taking a look around you as if you were taking the castle in for the first time.

“Here.” he said, shaking his head as he reached his hand inside his bag, pulling an apple from inside it “You didn’t even get to the kitchens, did you?”

“Well, I was on my way when you pulled me in the opposite direction.”

“You were the one who called my name, if I remember correctly.”

You nodded, fidgeting with the fruit in your hand as you suddenly turned to a loud noise behind you. Regulus turned in time with you, his eyes narrowed as he squeezed your hand “C´mon.” he told you, starting to walk again.

Your eyes lingered in the empty hallways of the castle, turning with the shake of your head “I was surprised to see you out after dinner.” you said “You’re always in bed or at least in your common room by now.”

You noticed how he clenched his jaw, licking his lips as he thought for a moment “Class got really interesting, we didn’t realize what time it was until it was too late.”

You hummed in response, not giving him a particular answer as you reached the entrance of the Ravenclaw common room.

“You’ve never told me what this class is about.” you told him, turning to him as you stood by the door.

For the first time that night he looked surprised, his silence more than enough answer for you.

“It’s not really a class, just a study group for defense against the dark arts.” he answered, taking a step back.

“I could use some help in that area.” you murmured, loud enough for him to hear you.

He let out a chuckle, raising an eyebrow in your direction “You do not.”

“How do you know?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest in defiance.

“Because you and I have competitions. Most of the time we’re even, no one ever wins.”

“Yet.” you said, looking at him with a smile.

“So you know I’ll win.” he said back, taking a more confident stance. “Good. You were never a good loser.”

You gasped, covering your mouth trying to muffle the loud sound of your voice. “I hope you take that back in the morning.” you said, dramatically turning around in your spot as you moved your robes to hit him. “Goodnight.” you said, whispering the answer to the riddle and stepping inside your common room, the last thing you heard being him wishing you goodnight.

Once the door closed you rested your entire weight against it, letting out a heavy sigh as you covered your face. “Merlin, help me.” you muttered, sliding down to the floor.

*******

The next days were just like you remembered, like nothing had ever happened. You woke up and had breakfast with your house to then go to find Regulus and start the classes for the day. It wasn’t difficult to act like everything was just as it used to be, because nothing had really changed and you weren’t acting. If it was the case you had problems believing what had happened that night. Sometimes it felt like a bad dream, like Sirius’ words got tangled inside your head enough to affect your dreams. But it wasn’t a dream and the only person who shared your secret seemed to be doing his best effort to avoid you.

You hadn’t seen Sirius since that night, his worried yet relieved face the last you saw of him. You had been looking discretely around the castle, keeping an eye out while you changed classes or while being at the Great Hall.

Is this what he felt when you locked yourself inside the Ravenclaw common room? The constant drop of your heart every time you saw someone with the slightest resemblance to him only to find it was another student with black hair or messy uniform. The worst came when you actually found black hair and grey eyes, the live image of Sirius drawing a smile on your face only to find green colors instead of scarlet red.

For the first time in your life the look of Regulus Black looking back at you with a smile didn’t get the same reaction from you, instead your own smile dropped while you sighed.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, taking hold of his broom.

“No,” you lied, placing a hand on your chest. You blew out a breath while pretending to breathe heavily “Just out of breath. I ran all the way here.”

He looked at you with the raise of his eyebrow but said nothing, the rest of his team walking past him as they got out on the field. His eyes followed them for a second. “I have to go now,” he told you, “I’ll look for you after in your spot, okay?”

“Right.” you said with a smile, holding him by his shoulders and pushing him out “Good luck.” you said, giving him a pat on the back just as he walked away.

Defeated, you walked to your usual spot in the bleachers. Sitting down and dropping your bag beside you. You didn’t feel like reading at the moment and the Slytherin practicing had never been able to capture your attention but now you stared with curiosity at Regulus. He had tried to explain the game to you before and though you understood the rules you didn’t understand the game. What was the point? He already had so many things to do and he wasted time playing?

Maybe he needed a cover.

You can’t think like that, you chastised yourself mentally.

But what if you were right?

A cover for what genius? you asked yourself.

Whatever he’s planning, whatever he’s doing.

He’s still your best friend, he didn’t suddenly turn into an evil villain.

You let out a heavy sigh, covering your face with your hands as you groaned. You needed to find Sirius.

*******

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Peter whispered. He was the one leading the Marauders to the kitchens, walking on the front of the group under the invisibility cloak. The other just kept mumbling and trying to keep quiet. They knew at first sight no one would be able to see them but if they paid enough attention they would be able to see four pairs of shoes walking with no bodies around Hogwarts. The cloak was big but not big enough.

“Don’t give much thought to it, Peter.” James said, patting his friend on the back “Think of all the food we’ll have by the end of our little adventure.”

“Chocolate.” Remus whispered, his mouth watering just at the thought.

They were just outside the kitchens, the Hufflepuff common room door somewhere near but that wasn’t their goal tonight.

Peter stopped suddenly, making the three boys crash on each other's backs with low complaints “There someone here.” Peter muttered, holding his hand up to indicate the other to stay put.

“Probably some of the elves.” Sirius offered, trying to move past Peter when he was told to be quiet and pushed back to his place. Like it had always been there he started to hear it, a low hum coming from the kitchens as things were moved around. He knew that voice.

“C’mon,” James said, all of them moving together until they quietly entered the kitchens.

The place was warm and the aroma that filled the air reminded each boy of different things: home, sweet, chocolate, warmth. The low hum was now a consistent song, the words a little out of tune but still beautiful and filled with no thoughts. Just a melody to fill the void of the late night hours.

Still they all froze at the sight of the person standing there cluelessly in their presence.

A hard nod from his head and they were all moving back, taking step after careful step to the door when a single spoon dropped to the floor, the little sound capturing your attention immediately.

You looked up, eyes narrowed as you walked closer to the source of the sound. You cleaned your hands with a small towel but still your face and some parts of your hair were covered with flour, you didn’t seem to care. Not giving it much thought you picked up the spoon from the floor and put it back in place, looking around you suspiciously before you shrugged your shoulders and went back to the task at hand.

“I need sleep, I need sleep and I need more sleep.” you mumbled with a breathless laugh “And what am I doing in the middle of the night?” you asked yourself, holding a wooden spoon in front of your face as if it was listening to you “Baking.”

“They do say Ravenclaws are clever.” you continued, holding the spoon correctly as you started mixing again. “Not me, though. Oh no, I leave everything until the pure pressure of deadlines makes me do it, I know things but not important things. I do read, but not what I’m supposed to read because honestly, who wants to read twelve pages of a single spell when all I need to know is what it does and how to point and shoot.”

They tried, the four of them really tried but in the end Remus couldn’t keep it in and he let out the smallest of laughs, covering his mouth the minute they saw your face shot up again. Sirius didn’t even think about it, his hands on Peter’s back as he pushed him with all his force.

Peter stumbled out of the cloak and its refuge, the noise masking the gasps from James and Remus as they stared with wide eyes at Sirius, then at Peter and finally at you. James wanted to laugh again at the sight of your face, the only way to describe it being like a deer caught in headlights.

“Peter!” you gasped, letting your body fall back as you supported your weight on the counter behind you “Where in Merlin’s name did you come from?” you asked, voice higher than usual as you moved to take a look around, making sure no one else was around.

“Hello.” he waved awkwardly, turning to look behind him and then back at you “I am just hiding.” he explained.

You nodded your head even if you didn’t believe him at all. “I didn’t hear you, you really are quiet.” you told him with a smile, “And what brings you to the kitchens on this lovely night? Other than hiding, of course.” you added, taking a look in the oven before you closed it back and turned to Peter.

He smiled tightly, looking around as he scratched the back of his head “Midnight snacks…” he murmured, earning a laugh from you as you nodded.

“You and me, both.” you said “Hey, this batch of cookies will be ready in five minutes, do you want some?” you said, never dropping your spoon as you pointed it at him.

“Really?” he asked, before he shook his head “No, I can’t take your cookies.”

You smiled, looking around at all the trays with already made cookies cooling off “I think I have enough to share.”

He waited in silence, seeing you work as you pulled the hot trays from the oven. Making sure they were all done before you put the newly made trays inside, closing the oven and letting out a huff in relief.

You took a small bag you had ready, taking some of the cookies and placing them inside “Peter,” you called, not looking at him and focused on your task “Can I ask you something?”

Peter swallowed hard but made a sound as a positive answer, something like a hum you had never heard from him.

“Have you seen Sirius lately?” you asked him, your voice calm but a hint of desperation slipping through your words “I’ve looked for him the last couple of days with no luck. I really want to talk to him and I can’t help but feel like he’s avoiding me.”

“He 's not.” He was quick to assure you, raising his hand in the air as a way to keep you calm. Or maybe keep himself calm. “We’ve all been busy lately. I’m certain it has nothing to do with you.”

You gave him half a smile, lifting the tray of cookies you had just taken out of the oven. You took some of the cookies, a dark beautiful red color with chocolate chips on top filling the bag as you walked towards Peter.

“I hope you’re right.” you said, handing him the bag “Here, those are really special.” you pointed inside, his eyes following you “It’s my grandmother’s red velvet cookies recipe. It’s a big secret so I hope you enjoy them.”

His smile was bright when he looked back at you “I’m sure I will.” he said with a nod of his head.

Once he said his goodbyes he left, walking carefully around the kitchen until he got to the door. You were certain you heard murmurs once he dissapeared from your sight and you smiled to yourself. Should I go after him? He’s probably right outside. You give it a quick thought before deciding it was better to leave it be for the night.

The conversation waiting for you was a difficult one and you knew it. Sirius knew it, probably being the reason behind his sudden disappearance. Better leave it for a time when you both are ready to face the truth of the situation.

“Goodnight, Sirius.” you muttered to yourself, completely unaware of the boy standing just beside you in the shadows of the invisibility cloak.

The ghost of his voice reached your ears, a warmth filling your chest as you were certain you heard him answer.

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Winter in the Shade

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#winter in the shade #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x ravenclaw!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #regulus black #marauders era fanfiction

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dreamingmanip · 3 years

Text

“MADNESS LOVE” PART 2

*GIF NOT MINE*

You can find part 1 here.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warnings: None (if I need one let me know in my ask!)

Prompt: NONE

Word Count: 2,026

A/N: Hi guys! Like I said before, this is part 2 of 3 for this imagine. I loved this fic so much I could’t stop writing. I hope you liked it, like always if you like this, please like it and reblog it. This would be pin on my page so you can find it without problems.

The tears kept rolling down your face all the way home, you didn't bother to wipe them away when you met your neighbor in the lobby, asking you if you were okay. You weren't, you were holding yourself to not break down in the middle of the hallway, making a scene.

Your keys jingled while you opened the front door, your hands trembling; you shut the door behind you. There was some light coming from outside the window but mostly it was dark,and that's how you felt, as if somebody took the light inside you leaving you blind. You leaned you back on the door, your body sliding down to the cold floor, sitting there looking at nothing. A cell phone started ringing in the distance but you didn't want to move. Your eyes fluttered trying to focus in the dark, searching in your jacket for it, the screen on the phone glowed and illuminated your face, Jay's name showed up, and the killing pain came back to your chest just looking at his name, so you decided to turn it off.

God knows how long you were there until you decided to stand up and go to your room to take a shower, put on some pajamas and grabbed the bottle of wine that was in the back of your fridge taking it to your room. Jay's words echoing in your head, over and over again.

Did he commit to his job, to his Unit, that he was fine letting you go? His words were etched in your mind. Of course you understood the full situation, he was right; you were the new still, not a detective, but that wasn't what was hurting you, it was realizing how he believed you both could never say anything because your jobs were more important.

Somehow you fell asleep before finishing the bottle of wine. The clock on your nightstand began to chime, it seemed that you had barely fallen asleep. Your room was still dark thanks to the curtains but some rays of sun could creep in. You stretched out your hand to turn off the alarm, and at the same time, your cell phone began to ring, you probably turned it on again in the middle of the night, you were a cop and sometimes you did stuff automatically; you raised it a little to be able to answer.

"Hello?"

“Hey Y/N, please don’t tell me you were still in bed.”

Your voice was a little croaky when you spoke.

“Uhm, no I wasn’t. My throat feels weird this morning, so… yeah.”

Kim’s voice was joyful even on the phone, you turned to see the clock, in a bright green color it said “8:15 AM”. You sat up immediately, moving the soft sheets wrapped on your body away while Kim was still talking.

“...So I called Kevin and we decided to bring you some donuts and your favorite coffee before the event. We’re 10 minutes away.”

“Fuck”.

You murmured getting in the bathroom. Kim looked at Kevin a little concerned.

“Sorry Kim, I spilled some water on the table but, uhm, yeah. See you in 10”.

Ending the call, you got in the shower, didn’t even wait for the warm water so you screamed a little feeling the coldness on your skin. The fastest shower you ever took in your life, leaving you with only five minutes to get dressed up and do your hair.

You were in the final touches of your makeup when a few small knocks on the front door warned you of the arrival of Burgess and Atwater. Taking one last look at the mirror to put a smile on your face before one of them would notice something, you felt anxious and devastated and trying to hide it from officers and detectives required a lot of self control.

Both of your friends smiled when you opened the door, Kim was holding a little box with cartoon drawings of donuts on the top while Kevin was offering you a cup of your favorite coffee. All of you wearing uniforms.

“Thanks guys, I barely ate something this morning”.

You took the coffee from Kevin’s hand, taking a little sip before walking out of your apartment, closing the door behind you. The three of you were talking about random stuff all the way to the car and to the downtown, well, Kim was the one talking with Kevin, you were mentally preparing yourself to see Jay, it wasn’t working at all.

“So Y/N, Jay called me last night, which was a little weird if I have to admit, he asked me about you”.

Kim was looking at you through the view rear mirror, you blinked a couple of times without saying anything. Why did Jay call Kim to ask her for you? You had no idea and that's exactly what you said.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I was at home last night. He’s weird sometimes you know that.”

“I know, right? He asked me if you were with me last night but we were at Molly’s. Adam, Hailey, Kevin and I, we miss you by the way.”

Kevin looked at you, knowing something went wrong between you and Jay.

“We invited Halstead to celebrate but he said he was busy filling some forms for Trudy after shift.”.

“Well, I don’t know him so well. I think he prefers to be alone. Look, the press is here too”.

You passed some news cars, reporters were setting their cameras to get a better view. Jay hated this, he wasn’t comfortable seeing his face on the paper just for doing his job and also Voight taught them that when his unit was formed, and everyone did almost the same.

You got out of the car after Kevin parked near the place. Hailey was the first who noticed you, she raised her hand and started to wave it. You smiled, Kim was doing the same and started walking towards her, Kevin patted your shoulder making you go slowly.

“What happened last night? Jay called me too, he said he was worried about you”.

“Well, he doesn't have to do that anymore. We’re done”.

“Wait, what?”

Kevin stopped for a moment, that news caught him by surprise.

“Y/N, are you sure of this? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll support any decision you make, all the way, but I know your feelings. Working together could get harder.”

You nodded your head, you knew it. It was going to get hard in every possible way, seeing him every morning not able to steal a kiss from each other at the coffee room or staying up watching a movie with your head on his chest; suddenly a bunch of memories came back to your mind, you shook your head slowly, you gave him a side smile.

“Kev, I got this. I’m gonna be fine. C’mon”.

You bumped his arm with yours while you reached out to Hailey and Kim, for a moment Hailey looked at you and nodded, Jay talked to her too. You nodded back to her.

A few moments later, Voight and Trudy joined you. In the place there were a small, but considerable, number of people but no matter how much you searched with your eyes, you could not find Jay. The coordinators asked you to take your seats, for obvious reasons the Intelligence Unit was in the front row, it wasn't until that moment that you could see Jay in his uniform, you had always liked the way he looked in it. However, he didn't seem very happy, he seemed calm but you noticed the pressure on his jaw, his straight shoulders and his gaze in front of him, but he wasn't looking at you.

He was sitting next to some superiors in the platform in front of you. The Superintendent stepped up to the microphone to start his speech, some photographers started to point their cameras to the people and then to the "big hero".

The ceremony wasn't too long, you all met in the back while reporters were asking now questions to some people. Voight was smiling, which was rare, while Jay was walking towards the group.

Adam was the first to talk, and like always, started to make some jokes.

"There he is, the super cop Jay Halstead. The man of the year!"

He padded Jay's shoulder, he had a shy smile on his lips. Uncomfortable by all the attention he was receiving.

"Thanks Ruzek, I think the cartel in Mexico didn't hear you".

Everybody laughed, including you. Jay looked at you for a moment, actually felt more like 2 seconds.

"Alright, let's go back to the district and back to work. We can celebrate later at Molly's".

Voight spoke and all dismissed to the cars, you went with Kevin again, this time Kim decided to ride with Ruzek, the awkward sensation was still there so she didn't want it to push it further and make you uncomfortable. Once inside the car, you kept quiet all the way, Kevin knew you were lying but he also knew how you dealt with a broken heart.

You went to the locker room and just arrived at the district, it was too damn warm to keep it all day, also it was used just for events like this. When you got to the door you spotted Hailey, she was putting her badge on her belt. You kept your head down, trying to avoid her, you greet her with a quiet voice.

"Uhm Y/N, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah, sure."

Hailey closed the door and crossed her arms on her chest, her cautious blue eyes looking back at you.

"Look, when Jay told me he was dating you, I told him it was stupid. Not worth it if your careers could be over just for a romance that could last just a few months".

You knew Hailey, she was a bad ass woman and probably didn't say it to her so often but you admire her. She was serious, she didn't like to play games when it comes to her friends.

"I'm sorry for telling you this, but that was before seeing how good you are together as partners and as a couple. I was scared for both of you because I love you and I care about you. I'm not on Jay's side or your side, left me out that but Y/N, it's not easy to Jay open his heart like he did with you. He doesn't want to lose you and I guess the only way he can control that feeling it's not letting anybody know about it. Forgive me if I was a little obtrusive".

You didn't notice there were a few tears on your cheek, cleared your throat to be available to speak but you failed at finding the right words, it took you a few seconds to speak.

"It's okay Hailey, but what about me? What about my feelings? I know Jay is right, we could lose our jobs but, why make me feel like his dirty secret?"

Hailey took a few steps closer, her blue eyes now looking sad.

"Of course your feelings are valid. Don't get me wrong, I have been in that position before and it's not easy. All I'm saying is, you shouldn't leave things unspoken, this stuff gets heavy later."

She hugged you tight, rubbing your back. You held her too, she knew what she was talking about, you never asked before 'cause she was very private but you believed her at anything she said.

After changing your clothes, you came back to the bullpen, nobody was talking, you sat at your chair and looked around; it seemed like everybody was tense for no reason. Voight was in his office and the unit was on some paperwork. You felt someone looking at you, directly. There was no need to look up, you knew Jay was looking at you from time to time. You haven’t talked to each other yet, you needed to, but that wasn’t the right place.

Tagged some beautiful people ✨:

@itsdesiree86 @mrspeacem1nusone @anotherfan07 @thestarrynightslover

#madness love #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead #fanfic #chicago pd imagine #Adam Ruzek #hailey upton #kim burgess #hank voight #trudy platt #molly's bar

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farfromharry · 3 years

Text

The one with homecoming | Peter’s girl

Summary: You accompany Mj to homecoming when Peter decides to go with Liz, but eventually end up comforting Peter after he gets into a large fight as Spiderman

Word count - 2,600

warnings - mentions of injuries, maybe some language?

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Homecoming was fastly approaching, and after the year you and your friends had had, you were more than excited. You were hoping that you and Mj could go together, as friends of course, no boys that would only serve to ruin your night with how irritating they were; yes, that included Ned and Peter.

“What if I asked Peter to Homecoming?” she said abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence you’d been in while eating together. You nearly choked on your food for multiple reasons. One, that was a very bold thing to do for Mj, and two, you really didn’t want her to go with Peter. She stared at you with wide eyes while you took a swig of your water to cool your burning throat, expecting some kind of explanation for that reaction.

“No, no boys,” you whined, hand reaching over to link your fingers with Mj’s across the table. “Let’s just go together.” She ignored the evident pleading and excitement in your eyes, the girl telling you that she really wanted to try her luck with Peter, finally find out if he likes her back. You were convinced your heart could have shattered right there, but you instead plastered a playful pout on your lips instead, showing your disapproval of the idea. “Still don’t think it’s a good idea,” you murmured, moreso under your breath so she wouldn’t hear you, retracting your hand from hers rather defeatedly.

“What was that?”

You opened your mouth to stutter out a response when you were thankfully saved by the bell, though not the actual bell, in this case it was a frantic and flustered looking Peter Parker. You and Mj shared a look of simultaneous confusion, watching as the boy took a seat opposite you, seeming quite out of breath.

“I need your help,” he said, trying to take a second to catch his breath before he explained what was going on.

“Why?” Mj asked, looking quite unimpressed that he’d interrupted your conversation, even if it was actually about him and her feelings for said boy. He took a deep breath, looking at you both with a tight lipped, nearsay awkward, smile.

“I just asked Liz to Homecoming.” For the second time in the span of such little time, you choked on your food, finding Peter’s words very difficult to believe. You stared at him with wide eyes, trying to figure out how this incredible socially awkward boy could ever ask the gorgeous, social butterfly of the school to a very crowded school event.

Mj could physically feel her heart sink and she nearly felt sick. However, like always she hid behind that same face of uninterest, feigning the idea that those words didn’t stab into her chest everytime they repeated over and over in her head.

“That’s amazing Pete, but I don’t know how we can help?” you said. You’d hoped the words would discourage him enough that he’d go ask Ned or something about all his questions, leaving you and the heartbroken Mj to not have to deal with this. But clearly he didn’t get the hint.

“I-I need you to help me with, you know, girls.”

You sighed, feeling Mj’s tense energy even from just sitting beside her, and part of you wondered how Peter couldn’t feel it too. But looking at the boy he looked so happy, practically glowing and flashing you that innocent smile that you didn’t know how to say no to. With another sigh you decided you’d do this yourself, you wouldn’t force Mj to sit and listen to you talk about how Peter can impress a girl that isn’t her.

“Why don’t you swing by my place tonight, I’ll uh, help you out.’ You mentally smiled to yourself at the accidental pun you’d thrown in there. Swing, Spiderman, get it?

“You’re a lifesaver Y/N, thank you,” he said, scattering away to probably go and tell Ned the good news.

Between you and Mj now was a very uncomfortable silence. You didn’t know if it was because you’d agreed to help Peter or if she was still dwelling on his date not being her, and the fact she didn’t even get to ask him first. Either way though you had no idea how to start a new conversation, the two of you sitting silently side by side. Thankfully this time you were saved by the literal bell, a muttered thank you coming from you.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, standing from your seat and offering her a warm smile which unfortunately wasn’t returned. “Whatever.”

»»——⍟——««

The build up to homecoming felt like hell for Mj. She’d voiced to you over the last week all her worries about having to watch Peter and Liz getting to be all lovey-dovey all night and your heart broke for her. You could tell even though she was opening up to you about this, she was still much more hurt by the idea than she was letting on and you’d never been more angry at the clueless boy.

You’d try to assure and reassure her plenty of times that what they got up two didn’t matter. The two of you were going to have fun and you were going to enjoy yourselves tonight without any more heartache. After all Peter was just a dumb high school boy.

When the actual night arrived the girl was freaking out more than you think you’d ever seen her freak out. Some part of her was convinced she had to look perfect just in case Peter so happened to glance her way at any point during the night.

So here you were helping her get ready. She’d bought a pretty dress and insisted on doing her hair the same way as usual after you tried another style and she decided she hated it. She’d obviously apologised for momentarily snapping at you but you’d understood she was feeling really stressed.

You knew what it was like to constantly try and impress someone and fail each and every time, so you couldn’t blame her attempts at trying.

It didn’t take too long for both of you to get ready, however Mj was quick to begin doubting herself as she stared in the mirror for too long. You could see the insecurity on her face and your heart panged with sympathy.

“You’re going to kill tonight,” you said. You could tell your words had an effect on her as she began to shyly play with her hands. You grinned to yourself, bringing her hands in yours and up to your mouth to press a sweet kiss onto her knuckles. “You’re so perfect,” you told her.

Of course you didn’t actually want Peter to realise what was right in front of him and date Mj, but you weren’t going to hurt her because of your own feelings.

“Well, we should head out while we still look hot,” you said, sending her a wink that had her rolling her eyes at you. She took your hand and watched as your smile grew wider as she led you out of your apartment. “Let’s go.”

»»——⍟——««

The night felt like it was flying by with the amount of fun you were having. After making sure Mj couldn’t keep her eyes on Peter she loosened up quite a bit. You’d actually managed to get the stubborn girl to dance with you a little bit, something that not a single part of you expected to happen.

It was only when moving to get another drink you saw Liz sitting alone on the bleachers, no Peter in sight. You tapped Mj’s shoulder to draw her attention to it, motioning over to the girl. If she was being honest, her first reaction was relief, relief that her crush wasn’t dancing the night away with a girl that wasn’t her.

But after a quick re-evaluation of her feelings, she felt a strand of sympathy grow for the girl, but only a really really miniscule one.

“We have to help her,” you reasoned, trying to talk some sense into your friend. With a hesitant answer she nodded, swallowing her hurt and pride and following you over to the bleachers where Liz looked as though she was ready to cry.

She saw the two of you approach and offered you both a weak smile, having no protest to you taking a seat beside her.

“Are you okay?” you asked. She chuckled quietly, probably at herself for getting so worked up over a teenage boy, but nevertheless shook her head.

“He left. He said he was sorry and left.”

She truly did sound hurt by his actions, and you were mentally cursing Peter for hurting yet another sweet girl that didn’t deserve his stupidity.

“Where did he go?” you asked, trying to console the girl. She just shrugged, resting her head on your shoulder sadly as Mj watched the two of you. You rubbed your hand up and down Liz’s back, sending your best friend a warning glare as you saw the way her eyes sparkled. Whether it was out of hope or happiness, neither were appropriate right now.

Part of Mj really was happy that Peter had abandoned Liz. She’d told you that the only thing that could possibly ruin tonight was having to watch them together the whole night when she desperately wished it was her.

“I’m sorry Liz,” she said, pushing her feelings aside to try and be the bigger person. The girl nodded, flashing Mj a sad smile as she brought her hands up to wipe any stray tears.

“I think,” she started, drawing your and Mj’s attention to her. “I think I’m just going to go home.”

Your anger towards Peter only increased with Liz’s words. “Are you sure? You can stay with us if you’d like,” you offered. You could feel Mj’s glare burning into your side as you said the words and the girl was sure she’d cry if Liz was to agree to your suggestion.

Luckily for her though, Liz was quick to deny, telling you both that she really would prefer to go home than keep getting stares of pity and feel this deep sense of embarrassment. It isn’t everyday that someone gets stood up by a ‘nerd’ like Peter Parker, especially not someone like Liz Allan.

The two of you watched as she left the gym, ignoring the stares of nosey teenagers.

As soon as the doors were closed again you turned your full attention to Mj. “I’m proud of you,” you whispered, leaning your head on her shoulder. She sighed, shaking her head but leaning it on top of yours anyway.

“I was being selfish-“ she tried to argue. “But you did the right thing in the end,” you said, wrapping your arms around her in a comforting way. You felt the way the apples of her cheeks pressed against your head more defined and you just knew she was smiling at your words.

“Now, let’s go enjoy our night.”

»»——⍟——««

You were over the moon by the time you got back to your apartment that night. Your parents had made you tell them all about it and you could hardly contain your excitement from the night you’d spent dancing away with Mj. But overall, you were still exhausted and you were ready to just crawl into your bed and sleep for the next few hours.

You entered your room with your smile still permanently stuck on your face, closing the door behind you and pressing your back to the wood as you tried to calm your excitement from the night.

You didn’t expect someone to already be in your room, sitting on your bed to be exact. You flipped on the light and nearly had a heart attack upon seeing the suited boy sitting there, clutching his ribs with a pained expression on his face.

“Peter, oh my god,” You shrieked, trying to keep your voice down so you didn’t alert your parents. The boy’s face was beaten black and blue and from the way he was walking and clutching at his stomach, the rest of him wasn’t much better. “What happened to you?” you asked, rushing over to him to take a close look at his injuries. You could see the tears forming in his waterline and your heart ached for him, carefully wrapping your arms around him.

“Come on,” you said, leading him to your bathroom, a very familiar occurrence recently. Neither of you spoke while you tended to the cuts on his face. You wanted to let him tell you what happened when he was ready, plus you didn’t exactly feel like talking as you tried to quickly come down from the excitement of the night.

Your eyes caught sight of his hand resting in his lap, the skin split on his knuckles that had you wincing at the sight.

“Your hand,” you pointed out, noticing the slight burn marks on his skin when his hand shifted. He shook his head, telling you to ignore it and just help with his face. You tended to his busted lip and the cut right on his cheekbone, wiping away as much blood and dirt as you could.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His eyes were burning holes into yours while you worked on him, noticing the concerned glint every time he’d hiss or wince at some pressure.

“No,” he whispered, the tears from earlier beginning to spill over his cheeks. You cooed quietly, pulling him back into you just so you could hold him. After tonight you were sure Mj would explode seeing the way you were holding Peter, and you felt guilty even if your actions were incredibly innocent. You wouldn’t dream of hurting her like that.

“What happened?” you asked, in the softest voice you could muster. You lightly guided his chin so he was looking into your eyes, his big doe eyes making him look like a lost puppy.

“This is going to sound insane, but,” he laughed to himself. “I- I was fighting Liz’s dad.”

He watched as your eyes widened in shock, your body freezing as you tried to process the words he’d just said. He tried to answer as many of your questions as he could before you even opened your mouth, knowing exactly what was already going through your head.

“Well, do you remember Liz’s party when you saw me on the roof?” It took a lot of explaining from Peter. But he eventually managed to tell you the entire story, right from the alien weapons the night of the party to taking him down and handing him over to the cops. You were surprised but you were sure these were the kinds of things you were going to have to get used to knowing his secret.

Conversation was quick to die down afterwards, neither of you knowing what else to say on the matter, but the thought of Liz after he left her in the gym was eating him alive.

“Did she seem mad?” he asked, timidly. Of course you knew who he was talking about straight away. You thought back on the night and even though it wasn’t the answer he wanted, you had to shrug your shoulders. “She was upset,” you said.

You heard him sigh beside you. “Did I really screw this up?” he asked, laying his head on your shoulder. You sighed, resting your head on top of his, much like how Mj had done to you earlier this afternoon. You weren’t planning on sugar coating this for him. “Yeah, you did.”

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peter’s girl taglist → @sunsetholland @captainamirica @tomsirishgirlx @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @gog0juice @minejungwoo @creatorofthegalaxy @annathesillyfriend @paninipress @bvttercupbby @peterswebshooters @whoeveniskendall @itsallyscorner @hoodpankow @sunwardsss @hallecarey1 @writingrem @mamaparker28 @n0eliii @lovehollandy12 @ifyouknewhowmiserylovedme

#peter parker oneshot #peter parker series #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagines #peter parker #peter’s girl

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sanghyukstattoos · 3 years

Text

SF9's reaction: first time over at theirs, accidentally leak

Warnings: mentions of blood, medicine (tablets)

A/N: None of the images in the collage are mine, refer to here for more; For more SF9, read here, for iKON, read here and for optional bias writings, read here

Safe and happy reading everyone!

Youngbin:

Partly anxious, partly thinks he knows what to do

He has a vague idea of what he should do, it presents itself to his decisions in the form of a solution but he isn't sure, is it what he is supposed to do? Suppose you have been asleep when he found out about your period, he will softly climb back into bed and wake you up. He'll hold you as and when you wake up and he finds it important to cuddle you all day long, even when he suggests that you watch something to distract yourself. He'll try to engage you in doing something like cooking as well but when he see that it doesn't work, he'll tell you that it's okay and pull you to the sofa where the two of you will spend the time either watching the tv or not but in each other's arms. You may go on a walk because he insists on getting fresh air and it's reliving, to feel the wind breeze through your hair, away from the growing stuffiness of staying indoors all day long.

Inseong:

''Oh, she must be in pain, what do I do?''

He may wake up because of your whimpers and heated body (you feel warm to the touch, much more than usual) so he wakes you up, giving you a detailed report of the blood stains and your probably high body temperature. He's freaking out which is cute before you sigh. The previous evening you felt your pms but when would it actually come? That was your question. Nevertheless, he leaves you to freshen up and takes the sheets for cleaning. He has some tricks up his sleeve; he knows that to do. When you come out, maybe hug him from the pain, his heart will squeeze like a towel filled with water, he'll press kisses on your face and give you gently words of support, ''You're doing so well. You want to lay down? I'll lay down with you, come.'' as he tugs you along. If you feel more active, he'll try his best to cook, as in, he'll give in his ultimate best. Extra effort so that you can eat food at home rather than from outside, it will taste good in the end because he would have followed the recipe and it's measurements to the t. Shining eyes should be following your movements when you taste his food, anxiously waiting for your response. Should you feed him, he'll melt, like a marshmallow. He loves you that much.

Jaeyoon:

Jaeyoon's a sweet heart

He'll ask you, ''Are you cramping?''. His voice is soft, almost down to a whisper. It draws you closer to him. You nod, pout whilst holding your lower tummy. You feel uncomfortable standing because of the pain, he knows it and draws you into his arms, holding you steady on your feet. He gives you little kisses on the cheek, teasing out giggles from you. He'll cook for you, maybe pancakes or avocado with fried eggs on toasted bread, whatever you want + as long as he is capable of making it, he may even surprise you! When you are eating, he'll give you company, his chin will rest in the palms of his hand and he'll give you this look where his eyes shine and the pads of his fingers drum on his cheek. He'll melt if you feed him, into a puddle his true form has been summoned. He'll make you smile, partly because of his cheeky jokes but also partly because of his own smile, lit cheeks that resemble a baking bun. He'll tell you not to apologise for the stained sheets, kissing your concern away. He'll join heads with you and figure out to do with it. The rest of the day, he'll spend it with you by taking you into his arms. Be prepared, fluff! passionate-driven! domestic husband! Jaeyoon is out to cuddle you!

Dawon I Lee Sanghyuk:

🥺🥺

He may wake up to your groans of pain, too disorientated at first to comprehend that you may be pms-ing so he'll go back to sleep. When he wakes up later on, the first thing he may say is, ''Shit.'', biting his lip but not yet thinking of a solution. He'll first check up on you, to see if you are still asleep or not. If you are, he'll let you you be and sit back with his mouth agape, wondering how this could happen. This may go on for some moments. He doesn't have even half the heart to wake up but if he has to, he will. When you curl up into a foetal ball, his heart will break. After you refresh, he'll rush to sort out a hot bag for you and maybe some tea and cuddle with you on the sofa till you begin to feel hungry (he may wait for when you are ready to make breakfast!). It's because he loves eating and so he'll love to see his significant other too. He knows that you enjoy what you are eating and that makes him happy, so he'll wait!

Rowoon I Kim Seokwoo:

Luxurious level Rowoon 💸💸💸

You may already be up when he wakes up. ''Oh!?!?'' is his voice when he looks at the lil' crime scene you left. You didn't stress about it okay maybe a little but decided to deal with it when he woke up. O-O is his facial expression. He can't believe his eyes. He's scared, he may never be able to un-see it again, ever. To bad for him, slightly better for you. You are already refreshed and not feeling to great, drained even before the day has begun but he's not asking anything, only how you are feeling. You settle in the seat beside him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, he greets you with a kiss back, discussing about your plans for the day. ''About the sheets'', ''It's okay'' he says, noticing your apologetic face, ''We'll throw them out'', ''Okay~ they are your sheets'' you laugh. Otherwise, if he wants to make love to you, your period may briefly hinder his thoughts but not by much, especially if you agree. He undress you in the shower and kiss you all over, to relieve the soreness of your body and fill you up. He would be okay to cock warm, to sit there with you on his lap and talk to you, giggle and laugh with you, occasionally cutting you off by giving you love-bites and sucking your nipples, nipping the area around them, if you find yourself comfortable with cock warming.

Zuho I Baek Juho:

Home-man Ju, never-leaving-his-cats Ju

But for you, it'll happen. You may have not brought pads or tampons with you because your schedule is hay-wire. If no and you have some then problem solved but if not, he'll leave you with a hot bag and run to the nearest store to buy you some pads. He'll hurry, knowing that you are in pain so he'll even say to his cats before he goes, ''Be good and take care of y/n for me okay?''. You have half a mind to chuckle at this adorable behaviour. In his pyjamas and slippers, he'll walk out, coming back with pads/tampons and food! Food! What's not there to love about this man? He'll bring your favourite snacks, putting them on a plate while you freshen up. If you borrow his clothes, you'll take his breath away. He'll put something on to watch or go out, like an amusement park or food stalls or wherever you would love to go. He wants you to feel better.

Yoo Taeyang:

Shocked or master level response

The first would be more appropriate for this man no? But I can't also help but think that he would see you in pain and move quickly. Without thinking of a plan or immediate solution, he would try to use what he has, a resourceful character is my point. He may rummage through the kitchen and medicine cabinets, standing there for two to three minutes, pondering over what he could use. He is quick to find a heat bag and warm it up, perhaps a wet towel that he thinks he will come back to and tablets for your pain. No doubt that his once blurry eyes and tired mind have disappeared to the back, your peacefulness of mind and sleep becomes his first priority. He takes you to the toilet and while you hazily strip off your clothes, he warms up the water and fills the tub with it. While you soak, cleaning yourself up, he lets you be, giving you the space you need to take a while and gather your peace of mind. There's a lot he would do for you. In the morning, he would cook for you and take you out. Later in the afternoon, you'll fall asleep together and in the evening, if you both are in the mood, he'll be willing to try and ease your cramps with releases. He's someone to be grateful for.

Hwiyoung I Kim Youngkyun:

Shy, to the bone

You knock on his door, ''Kyun?'', ''hm? You okay?'', he is curious. ''Yea, I'm going to the store and coming back.'', ''It's pitch black outside, I'll come with you.'', ''okay'', it's dangerous outside, anyone could be there. Just left the complex, he asks, ''What do you need?'', ''Tampons'', ''oh.'', he's flustered now. The tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks- he can't resist them from going upwards. After scratching the tip of his ear, he asks, ''Does it hurt?'', ''hm, I can feel it, it's hurts a little but later it may hurt a lot.'', ''As in, unbearably?'', ''Yea and I think that I may have already leaked.''. ''Shit'' he murmurs, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, ''If you want, you could go home and I could get them?'', he asks, in all seriousness. He doesn't contemplate that he's never done this before but he could, for you. ''It's okay, I think I can make it. Plus, you won't know what to get.'', ''Call me, ''Are you sure about this?'', ''Absolutely, I'll drop you off and then I'll pick them up, do you want something to eat?''. The endeavours make you smile, now you are at the front of his house, ''Anything is okay with me.'' to which he chuckles. He knows what you want, ''So some snacks?'', in a teasing manner. He moves closer to you. It's a pause from the outside world, cupping your face entirely in his hands, he kisses your cheek. You softly gasp, slipping into his grasp when he lets go. You could smell his shampoo and the way he lingered, he's already telling you, ''Go up, I'll come to you.'' having you shake you head and tell him, ''thank you.''. As he begins to walk, he resists turning back and pulling you into a kiss driven by heat-blinding passion.

I guarantee that the kiss doesn't happen for sometime but when it does, you end up making soft love under the covers. He starts with mapping out kisses along your body + he loves how you touch him when he kisses you.

Chani:

Loving and admirable

When he sees you in pain, he hurts too, expressed as a pout or frown, tugging your hand and asking if you are okay. He wants to make your pain go away. He may be doing some work on his laptop, he'll hold you in his arms with your head on his chest and you softly snoring away. It'll make him smile, after all you were woken up so early in the morning by your cramps, waking him up to a few hours later to find that you made breakfast. It depends on who wakes up, one or the other makes breakfast after a long competition of seeing who can sleep the longest. He feels grateful and he tells you that, before saying that you shouldn't have when you felt this much pain and that he was okay with eating outside food. You have to smile and place a finger to his mouth to prevent his nagging from chewing your ears off and give him a little kiss and then immediately pull him for cuddles. Complain about how you are in pain and he will melt like a lolly on a hot summer day and instantly cuddle you, hovering over your figure that he placed on the sofa and tease you, maybe by feeling your waist to your neck to a small make-out session. It'll be automatic for him to compliment you and shower you with love, easily embracing you and kissing you to tell you that he loves you.

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battery-forgot · 3 years

Text

Now, I come mid-week to give you all of my DSMP/MCYT headcanons because I have many

Don’t mind if these are repeated, misspelt, or has no logic, it is block game things and I am not checking over them-- and some will be organized, and some will be random, some might not have a Enter space because these are all ctrl c + ctrl v’ed from a Discord server I am in :]

Skeppy headcanons: Skeppy is 4 billion years old as scientists have thought that is how long ores and diamonds existed for

Skeppy's species is pretty rare

Every diamond that is broken or damaged causes Skeppy to feel a physical pain in his body

His species has lamp tail as they don't have night vision, some of them also have tiny wings that aren't usable, though they can kinda glide short distances with them

Because of his small height, he has taught himself magic to be able to change size, it can hurt him if he goes taller than 5'3, but he is able to get to Foolish's height if he tried

Sometimes random crystals grow on Skeppy's face, though they look different from normal crystals and can be used for things like explosives, though he doesn't know about it

Techno has seen Kristen but doesn't remember it well, though Kristen gave him his crown as a gift

Techno has a collection of skull masks that he has worn, he wears the skulls because of nostalgia now but he used to wear them because he thought they were cool and made him look threatening

Technoblade, Skeppy, Sam, Ranboo, Michael(the son- not Michaelmcchill), Phil, Bad, and some others really like shiny and golden objects

DreamSMP theme/"timeline" is kind of like a steampunk like thing

Drista is DreamXD's sister and DristaXD is Dream's "sister", though they aren't really siblings as they are robots

Drista and DreamXD are clones of DristaXD and Dream, though they actually look nothing alike

Callahan is a mute mini-god that everyone knows exists but doesn't really understand they are a mini-god. They kind of just chill and do what people ask them to do

Phil: Phil is more into traveling than anything else

Though he doesn't mind being a father figure, he doesn't think he is a good one especially after he killed Wilbur

He is able to turn into the size of a crow, though since his wings are now unusable, he doesn't do it as often as it is basically useless

Phil sometimes takes bird baths, though I guess they are always called that-

He has bird legs/talons,but they aren’t fully noticeable

joke headcanon I thought of is that Phil's handwriting is chicken-scratch because he is half-crow

Phil has really good memory, as a crow would

-DreamXD is actually pretty weak in powers, but he acts like he is the strongest person in the server

-Tommy's eye is just completely gone from when Dream killed him, but he covers it with an eyepatch

-Tubbo talks about things to Ranboo thinking he'll forget them, but some stories Ranboo remembers but doesn't speak about it because he doesn't want to make Tubbo worry too much

-Philza wasn't willing to kill Wilbur so Wilbur forced Phil by grabbing his arm and impaling himself

-Dream and Techno sometimes share stories about having ADHD

-Phil didn't really know about Fundy, he knew he existed but had no idea to how he acted, looked, or his actual name

-Wilbur had a letter written to Fundy about how he was sorry for what he was gonna do during November 16th, but the withers blew it up before Fundy knew about it

-Fundy doesn't let anyone hold his hand because it makes him remember the past where he would hold Wilbur's hand a lot

-Change of headcanons: Schlatt and Puffy are cousins, Tubbo was just a random kid that would follow Schlatt for hours a day, waiting for him to acknowledge him

-Dream jumps into the lava in the prison as it reminds him of Sapnap

-Bad was uncomfortable when Sapnap married Big Q and Karl because he went on a date with Quackity before but he still supported them (Yes I know Big Q basically had a divorce with Sap and Karl--)

-Skeppy knows a lot about other's pasts because of how old he is, even traumatizing facts

-Skeppy has a fear of fire (Pyrophobia) and he is kind of scared of Sapnap

-Dream used the revivebook on the cat Tommy killed, but Sam killed it thinking Dream would use the cat against Sam to escape quicker in the future

-Dream doesn't *fully* know why he is in prison, ever since Tommy and Tubbo killed him, a wire/chip broke in his body which made him forget a lot of things. Dream does get told what he had done a lot, but it makes him almost have a panic attack because he thought he was a pretty good person

-Ghostbur is Callahan, they were commanded by DreamXD to become Ghostbur so that everyone could feel like he was still there (Callahan can change who they are completely, but they don't actually know how they acted when as Ghostbur, though that doesn't mean he didn't know what happened, when Dream killed/revived Ghostbur, Callahan got to see what it felt like to die for the first time)

-Fundy has the habit of picking up things and using them at some sort of fidget (examples: knives, leaves, grass, wood, pencils, berry stems, etc.

-Ranboo will be writing/saying something about someone and use pronouns instead of their name or just with the person's name (example: "Puffy she/her was--" or "he/him writing down things") [Basically canon-]

-Tubbo used to headbutt people but stopped after around 2 years because he kept hurting people

-Phil used to squawk randomly when he was a kid, but he mainly just squawks when hiccuping now

-Even though Bad used to get really nervous picking people up because he was afraid he was gonna drop and kill them, he now just picks up everyone randomly... except Foolish and Ranboo

-Foolish is able to shrink to around 7ft, and unless he is building a big build, he will shrink so he can get around easier

-Because Ranboo is only half enderman, he isn't the full height of an enderman (He is only 8'5)

-If someone asks Charlie about his pronouns, out of confusion, he just responds with "Bones!" which sometimes leads Las Nevadas members (or just anyone really) calling him by He/it/Bones

-When Bad was being controlled by the egg, it made him get even more flashbacks about how his species was supposed to act which would end up with him panicking because that isn't who he wants to be (bonus: The more a member infected by the egg would panic, the more the egg would be able to take over the person because they can't focus)

-Kristin has taught Phil how to do makeup in their free-time of hanging out

-Kristin is insanely tall, if she shrinks then she turns more transparent, so she ends up looking more like a ghost when at average height

-Skeppy can't cry, though he still can feel sad

-Bad and Eret talk to eachother quite a lot

-When Tubbo was around 11-14, he would make redstone contraptions, though he doesn't remember how to make most of them now

Ranboo doesn't like photoshoots because he feels like everyone is staring at him, though this does mean he just doesn't have a passport photo, his alternative was to draw what he looked like on the passport but they didn't allow it, as well as Ranboo doesn't really remember what he looks like anyway because they don't like looking in mirrors--

I think this is half-canon but another headcanon is where every SMP is just an island far away from others. In this case, Hermitcraft, 30 day SMP, and other SMPs are all linked up, as for people who are in multiple SMPs, they travel around by boat for awhile, now, the thing I've just not figured out is how tf their look magically changes-like- outfit is decently obvious-- but do they magically transform like an anime girl? Idk-

Skeppy's voice randomly glitches out, is there an actual reason for this? No.

Quackity’s outfit is similar to Sub Urban’s (In Freak)

Skeppy acts as if he is royalty, he doesn't act rude or demanding unless joking- but he does act as if he is the superior person-

-Skeppy and Slime are the only "people" that don't have steampunk styled clothing because of how old they are

-Skeppy's hair grows insanely quickly and no one knows why, he honestly hates it

-Most of Skeppy's outfits have been made by Bad or Puffy

-Skeppy knows DreamXD as if he is a brother, but he despises him because of something that has happened around 3,000 years ago

-Skeppy has a lot of different shades in their hair on the "inside"(like- the side where his neck is is what I mean, I don't remember if it has a name or not-)

-Like I've said before, Skeppy's eyes are crystallized, but they are somewhat transparent, not enough to where you'd be able to see the inside of his head, but they are still transparent

-In the past, Skeppy didn't like their name which is why they called himself "Skeppy"

-He has an attachment to caves

-When Skeppy was a kid, they had the dream of him filling cave walls with houses of their own

-Skeppy goes by it/they/he

-Skeppy joke flirts with Bad all the time to confuse everyone, Bad doesn't like it because then everyone thinks they are dating which makes him feel a little uncomfortable

-Out of boredom, in the past, Skeppy would climb on the roofs of caves, hang upside down, and try and sleep like a bat

-They have no blood in his body, it is literally just a diamond covered with a thin layer of skin and hair

-Skeppy gets stressed out easily when it comes to learning because it just reminds him of everything he had to get used to as the billion of years he lived went by

-Skeppy used to not be allowed out into the open world, the first time it experienced going outside was when it was 2 billion years old

-Skeppy has accidentally caught things on fire during the day because of the reflecting of the sun, but even then, they are nocturnal so they don't really have to worry about it

-Wilbur adapted to hanging out with Sally in the water, he has some gills, but he can only breathe underwater for a bit longer with them

-Skeppy always has the equivalent of Diamond (armor) except when he was infected by the egg, he was equivalent to the strength of a Ruby

-Infected Skeppy has a redstone glow when touched, so when hugged(or hive fived- or- yeah you get the point), he would give a subtle glow around him until let go

-The Eggpire still can be controlled, but they are able to control it unless angered/upset

-Skeppy was 6ft when infected, now he is 3′9 un-infected

-At this point, Dream likes the prison because he sometimes feels safe there, like no one can hurt him

-DristaXD is more of a ghost robot than an actual robot

-DristaXD's hobby is murdering people and has basically been in some sort of jail before, she has broken chains around their ankles and hands, it seems to have been made of a really strong material as wel

-Sapnap used to have fire wings, but when he had to get extinguished, they disappeared, they are still there, they just aren't visible until dunked in lava and Sapnap can't use them anymore

-Infected Bad still took care of Sapnap, but Sapnap never cared

-Sapnap takes the name "lava cake" too seriously... though he thinks the literal lava cakes he makes taste good

-Puffy's hair has been dyed blue by Ghostbur before because he wanted people to remember Friend if they ever disappeared

-Going with my Ghostbur as Callahan hc, when Ghostbur was killed, Callahan kind of glitched between realities and so Ghostburs body glitched from Callahan's body and Ghostbur's then just disappeared. Callahan is still alive but they randomly glitch into different realities, he has glitched into places Karl has gone, including The Inbetween.

-When Ghostbur was glitching back into Callahan after killed, it shocked and concerned Dream

There you go :]

#dreamsmp #dreamsmp headcanon #skeppy #badboyhalo #dream #dreamxd #philza #Callahan minecraft #Ghostbur #Fundy #Wilbur #captain puffy #Sapnap #Quackity #mcyt headcanons #Ranboo #Tubbo

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iceeckos12 · 3 years

Text

and he sees dawn before the rest of the world

or: a fucked up little au of 200. intended to be unsettling so just be warned warnings for: unreality (i think that’s the appropriate term? please lmk if not), implied self harm, fucked up relationship dynamics; lmk if i should tag anything else

Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

“Ugh, five more minutes,” Martin hissed, throwing an arm across his face, as though he could stop the barrage of sound just by covering his eyes. His alarm was unsympathetic to his whinging, continuing to scream its daily mourning dirge, grieving the end of another period of blessed rest. “Fine, fine! I’m getting up, christ…”

He reached clumsily for the phone on his bedside table, only for his fingers to scrabble uselessly around the ghost of its presence. He was momentarily so stymied by the absence that it took him longer than it should’ve to remember that he’d moved it to his desk, to prevent him from giving into the temptation to hit the snooze button just one more time.

Letting out another slew of curses, Martin shuffled onto his other side and reached for

A jaw-cracking yawn near split Martin’s face in two as he hunched over the gleaming tea kettle, steam beginning to pour from the spout. He shuffled his feet, eyes meandering sightlessly over the cow-shaped mug drying on the counter, the cluster of crumbs that he must’ve missed when cleaning up after dinner last night.

He hated mornings. Maybe it was the preemptive dread he felt at the thought of going to work; maybe it was because he hated having to be upright this early in the morning. Either way, he felt strangely disconnected from his morning routine, each motion carried out with habitual, distant efficiency as his thoughts raced along like a hamster on a wheel just below the surface.

It...was a bit silly for him to be worried about work, though. The stuff he was doing was interesting, and he had the loveliest coworkers a guy could ask for. They’d even offered to teach him a thing or two about artifact restoration once they learned the truth about his CV.

He drew himself up to his full height and rolled his shoulders back, clouded sigh mingling with the fog from the boiling water. Things were going well. Hell, he was actually going to get top surgery sometime in the next year or so, which was amazing considering his teenage self would’ve laughed at the very idea of being out.

There was no reason to dread going to work.

Martin carefully poured the water into the mug, letting the tea steep before adding a splash of milk and sugar. When he picked the mug up, the heat from the tea had bled into the ceramic, so warm as to be uncomfortable against the delicate skin of his palms. He didn’t let go, just kept on gripping the mug, like trying to contain the last gasp of a dying star.

Martin stared around his kitchen. The waterstains on the inside of the cow mug slowly evaporating into the still air; the crumbs that had sat there for who knows how long. The empty, blank face of his fridge.

Martin lifted the mug, and steam collected on his glasses as his breath wafted over the surface of the tea. He drew away, waiting for the lenses to clear, before leaning in for another sip.

His reflection stared back at him, a monochrome facsimile of his face rimmed in white smoke, and he recoiled, the mug slipping from

Working nine to five, what a way to make a living…

Martin stared out the window, his hand pillowed in the palm of his hand as Dolly Parton crooned in his ears. Split second by split second, he let his eyes catch on a point in the darkened surroundings, only letting his vision blur into incoherence when that fixed point whipped out of sight. It was a game he sometimes played when he got bored of reading or playing cards on his phone.

The old woman across from him let out a quiet grunt and shuffled, drawing his attention back inside the train. She was a gnarled old thing, bowed by the gravity of grief and time and life, though Martin couldn’t say for certain whether it was one well-lived.

Barely getting by, it’s all taking and no giving...

That was the thing about people watching: Martin was never quite sure if it was disrespectful to make assumptions about a person’s life based on a passing glimpse. He could never be sure if the person with the grumpy expression had a foul attitude, or if they were just a kind person on the tail-end of a truly awful day.

The old woman was knitting though, and Martin generally found it safe to assume that knitters were nice people.

For a moment he thought about taking out his headphones and striking up a conversation; the pattern looked devilishly complicated, and as a beginning knitter, he always appreciated tips. There was an unfinished set of fingerless green gloves in the back of his closet; it was easy for hands to get cold in the Archives, and the color suited

“Alright, Martin?”

Martin startled, his pen clattering to the floor. He looked up to find Sasha perched on the edge of his desk, grinning like the cat who’d just eaten the canary. Or, he thought she was. His eyes kept skittering from one corner of her face to the other, like a smooth stone skipping across a lake.

“Uh…” Frowning slightly, he let his gaze travel over the shelves of books, the humming lights, his cluttered workstation. He removed his glasses so he could rub at his aching eyes, and let out a deep sigh. Probably just the stress. “Yeah—yeah! Sorry, I’ve been distracted all morning.”

Martin got the impression of Sasha’s grin being tempered with genuine concern. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is everything okay?”

“I think so. Just...work, and my mum…” he gave an expansive you know sort of gesture at life in general. “Thank god the weekend’s coming. Anyway, is there something I can help you with?”

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to come get drinks with Mel and Tim and I after work, but…” She cut him a meaningful glance, the bottomless holes where her eyes should be boring bright spotlights into the back of his skull. “We’d understand if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“Is Georgie coming?”

Sasha shrugged. “Probably. Mel didn’t say so, but they’ve been all over each other since they started dating.”

Martin laughed. “True.” Tried to gauge how he was feeling, whether or not he was up to a night of socializing. You should go, a strangely posh little voice murmured in the back of his head, and he found himself saying, “Actually yeah, I would like to come. I could use a night out.”

Sasha clapped him on the shoulder, and the impact rattled through him like a gong being struck. The echoes of it vibrated all the way down to his toes. “Excellent.”

Martin hesitated, and then, not entirely sure of what he was asking, “What about J

“Thanks for waiting with us,” Georgie said, smiling beatifically up at him. Passed out on her shoulder, Melanie let out a drunken snuffle and curled over, like she was thinking of climbing through the spaces of Georgie’s ribcage and sleeping in her chest cavity forever.

“Not a problem,” Martin replied, scratching the back of his neck.

To be honest, waiting with her was as much for his benefit as theirs. At first, he’d thought it was just stress; now, he was very sure that something was wrong. It wasn’t anything specific, or even bad; more like there was a sepia camera filter tinting the world dusty and nostalgic.

After his third drink, he’d looked into Tim’s laughing face and thought he might burst into tears. And he still didn’t know what Sasha was supposed to look like.

But he didn’t want to worry her, so he just bit his lip and rocked back and forth on his heels, even though the motion made his head spin that much worse.

(Maybe he needed to take a couple of days off. Have a lie-in. But that would—that would delay his work. The Institute’s work. Delays were bad; he felt strongly enough about that to carve it directly into his skin so that he’d never forget. He could roll down his sleeve and take a peek at it whenever his motivation slipped, like checking a watch for the time.)

For lack of anything else to say, he nodded toward Melanie. “She’s really out, huh?”

“She’s always been a lightweight.” Her tone was wry, but her eyes were soft and fond as she brushed Melanie’s bangs back from her face. “Never gets hungover though, the lucky bastard.”

“The nerve!” Martin said, affecting offense, which sent them right into another giggling fit.

Once he got his breath back, Martin mentioned offhand, “You know, considering how similar they are, I’m surprised that her and J̷̧̱̜͕͕̤͉̣̺̺̝͖̠̹̜͙̣͉̩̺̤̟͉͓̞̹̗́̆̂̋͆̊̎́͂̑͋̌͊͘̚͠ͅo̶̧̨͕̖͔̬̖̝̪͚̻̟̠̜̣̰̅n̶̥̉́̎͑̀͂͆̿̾͛̾̔̐͌́̅̂͂̒̆̐́͊̄̾̍̅̅͝

“Stop it!” Martin screamed, grabbing the mug from the counter and throwing it across the room. It shattered against the wall, scattering shards of ceramic across the floor. “I know

“What you’re doing,” Martin gripped the bathroom counter, ignoring the persistent ringing of his alarm, staring deeply into his reflection, “Stop it, stop it, nononon̴̡̡͚̮̠͙̻͔͎͈̜̓̈́̈́͜͜ͅǫ̸̯̠̱̖̲͙͍͎͒̇̑͒ṅ̶̨̩̳̩̝̹̳͎͈̬̦͆́̈́́͐̏̈́̕͝͝o̸̡̻̱̗̥̮̙̳̞͗̄͋̈́̀͝n̸̢̛̟͙̘̱̩͕̦̫̤̮͆͑̊͋́̂̽͜o̶̘̱̗̘̘͑̿͜ņ̶̥̞̠͕͓̠͔͚̮͈̬͕̀͗̄̓͑͑͛̕ͅő̸̮̫̓͌̾̌͋́̂̏̒̃̃̄̚n̵̗̫͕̺̻͔̭͖̉͒͗̀̈́̃̅o̴͓͉͉͗͋̎̕—”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, it’s okay—”

“No!” Martin shrieked, shoving Jon’s hands away, skittering backward across the broken and cracked stones of the Panopticon. Through the arched windows, the sky was a poisonous green and black, and multitudes of eyes orbited the room, watched his every movement with sickening fascination. “Just—stop.”

Luminous gaze weary and resigned, Jon did as he was bid, dropping back onto his heels.

Rubbing sweat and grime and tears from his face, breathing harshly through his mouth, Martin took a moment to remember where he was, why he was here. It always took a moment for everything to come back.

As though unable to keep silent any longer, Jon asked, “So what was it this time?”

“Don’t,” Martin hissed, dragging his hands through his greasy hair.

Though his expression went mulishly annoyed, Jon raised his hands placatingly, a silent, alright, you win. It was a familiar gesture, one that he’d done so many times while they were living in Scotland, while they were traveling the devastated landscape of the apocalypse. It made Martin ache for when things were simpler, when his heart didn’t just feel like one big bruise.

He gently set the thought aside, and turned a more assessing eye on the Panopticon. Normally the changes were insignificant, but something thick and red and black had started to coil around the windows, weaving in and out of the floor, cracking the stonework. Martin traced the strange things with his eyes, frowning—

“Christ, Jon,” he whispered in horrified realization. “Are...are those corpse roots?”

Jon bobbed his head. “They’ve long since overtaken the rest of London. It’s just us, now.”

Martin sucked in a long, frustrated breath through his teeth. There was no point trying to talk any sense into Jon, not after so long, and force would only result in immediately getting kicked back into that horrible dream world.

“And the others?”

Jon shrugged, tracing the cracks in the earth with his fingers. “Still alive, and living happily in the dream I made for them.” He didn’t say, unlike you, but the implication was so loud he might as well have screamed it.

“Shut up,” Martin muttered, pushing to his feet and limping to one of the windows.

Corpse roots, as far as the eye could see. They covered the city of London in a blanket of tangled black, so thick that it was impossible to see the buildings beneath.

“Was it worth it?” he asked, sagging against the side of the window, too tired to be angry.

When the silence persisted a second too long, Martin turned around to find Jon with his head tilted back, examining the corpse roots consuming what had once been the Beholding’s seat of power, expression distant and thoughtful. The eyes, ever-watching, never understanding, drifted closer, greedily drinking in the sight.

When Martin realized that Jon wasn’t planning on answering, he let out another sigh, ruffled his bangs away from his face, and said, “You’re never there.”

Jon’s gaze snapped to him with a laser-edged focus. “Sorry?”

“If you’re going to trap me in a dream,” Martin said, each syllable clipped and precise, “You could at least be there.”

Like it always did, Jon’s face crumpled, and he looked away. “...I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, we’re well past that and you know it!” Martin shrieked, striking his fist against the stone. “You made your fucking decision to damn the world, to hell with whatever we thought, the least you could do is stop hiding behind your pointless guilt and act like this is what you actually want!”

It would’ve been better, if Jon had simply become drunk with power and was no longer listening to reason. The fact that he’d made this same decision every single day with clear, unclouded eyes and sound judgement—as Jon the human, rather than Jon the lynchpin of the apocalypse, pupil of the Eye—made Martin want to scream.

“I do want it!” Jon snapped back, then quieter, “I do.” He looked up at the corpse roots again, eyes going misty. “I just—I should witness every second of misery and pain that I’m causing. I don’t deserve to just...forget.”

Wind snapped and howled around them like a creature mad with rage, and Martin idly wondered what would happen to this world once Jon died. If it would all go back to the way it had been before, or if the shell of the apocalypse would remain until the end of time, a corpse husk of a reality warped beyond repair.

“You shouldn’t have to experience this alongside me though,” Jon continued, rallying. “So I would really appreciate it if you’d stop breaking your dreams.”

“Tough,” Martin snapped back, folding his arms obstinately over his chest.

“You could be happy!” Jon reiterated, stabbing his index finger into the palm of his hand. “You could just...live your life! Forget! There’s no point in being here.”

“It’s a deal, remember? Where you go, I go. Fuck you very much, but I don’t break my promises.”

Jon stared at him for one beat, then another—and then promptly burst out laughing, his whole body shaking with the force of it. Martin stared at him, utterly bewildered, as the laughing slowly began to dissolve into desperate, heaving sobs, as he began rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around himself in a mockery of comfort.

“I miss you,” Jon gasped out, half-crazed. “So much. I miss you every day even though you’re right in front of me. But I can’t go to you, because I don’t deserve to, not when I’m the one who trapped you here. I’m everything that’s wrong with the world. I always have been.”

“Jon,” Martin sighed, low and tired.

Jon buried his face into his knees. “No, you shouldn’t—you shouldn’t forgive me just because you pity me, that’s not what I—I don’t—”

“Who said anything about forgiveness?” Martin shook his head. “Fine. You’re an asshole, and I hate you. But it’s like I said.” He gestured toward the Panopticon, the roots, the poisonous sky. “When has deserving ever mattered?”

Jon lifted his face from his knees, though his gaze stayed rooted to the floor. “...I suppose.”

“Right,” Martin agreed. “I’ve accepted that you’re not going to change your mind, but...at the very least, I don’t want to die alone. So can you please just…”

There was a long, weighted pause.

They’d had arguments like this what felt like hundreds of times before. Martin begging for Jon to change his mind, Jon refusing with that same resigned, determined expression on his face, before sending Martin back into his dreams.

Maybe it was because Martin wasn’t asking him to change his mind this time. Maybe it was because they were so close to the end of all things, and soon they’d be the last two people on earth. Maybe it was because Jon was tired, had been for so, so long, and he had won anyway, so there was no point in fighting any longer.

“Alright,” Jon whispered.

…

...

Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

“Ugh, five more minutes,” Martin hissed, throwing an arm across his face.

Somewhere in the far distance, the toilet flushed. A moment later, a pair of feet padded lightly into the room, hesitated at the edge of the bed, and then made their way over to the desk. The alarm abruptly went silent.

Martin uncovered his eyes and grinned up at Jon as he tentatively slid back between the covers, every movement careful and deliberate, like he was reading stage directions from a script.

“Look at Mr. Workaholic, having a lie-in,” Martin teased, pulling Jon into his arms and inhaling the scent of his coconut shampoo. “Must be the end of the world, or something.”

Jon stiffened for just a moment, before turning around and burying his face into Martin’s chest. “Or something.”

#iceeckos12 writes #my writing #tma #jonmartin but make it especially tragedy flavored

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