#actually i think the eggs should know more about their other siblings' issues

[itsbebebe]

what i took from tallulahs book is that she actually rlly does need to spend more time w/ the other eggs/parents cuz she doesn't realise that they all fucking adore her and are clamouring to look after her and think shes amazing but just dont know her well enough. Its not that they have misconceptions about her, its not that bbh forgot her birthday, its not that dapper and pomme purposefully triggered her abandonment issues. its that they dont know/remember cuz they never see her and thats why its actually kind of important that her and chayanne get to hang out with ppl like forever and stuff more regularly ("if they are actually willing to" she mutters, eyes trained on chayanne).

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #215

Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop right now, but I want a desktop computer. As my anhedonia improves, I've been getting much more into gaming again but my laptop has zero space for games. I can only fit WoW on this laptop and that's literally it, even to update that I have to go through and clean things I don't even know if I should remove from my computer 'cuz there's just no space, and I don't even have much on this laptop.

Do you own any television series box sets? Yes, the first four seasons of Meerkat Manor. Idk if the 5th has a boxset.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? My boyfriend, before he went home the other day.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? Nope.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? Nah.

Do you have long hair or short hair? Short.

How much makeup do you wear on a daily basis? None.

Do you have weak upper body strength? YES

Do you think hugs are awkward? I mean, they CAN be, but I generally love hugs.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No? I mean, if you don't clean yourself then facial hair can certainly become gross, but as a rule, it's definitely not. I'm generally attracted to it.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I've already done that and am literally dyeing it lilac this week.

What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne's solo career.

Are there any paintings on your wall? We moved into this house with a copy of some famous Monet painting above the fireplace. It's one with lily pads.

What do you think is the best smell in the world? Cinnamon rolls.

How old is your oldest sibling? She's like, 40? Somewhere around that?

Do you enjoy dancing? Not anymore. I like watching dancing.

Can you handle scary movies? Yeah, I like scary movies.

Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Yes.

Have you ever been to California? Did you like it? No.

Do you like deviled eggs? I've never tried them and I never will, I would almost be willing to stake my life on the fact I would hate them because of the yolk. They smell foul anyway.

What is your favorite horror movie? The Blair Witch Project.

Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes.

What foods can you absolutely not eat? Beans are one; I literally cannot get them down. There is honestly A LOT of food I can't eat, I'm absurdly picky, but in my defense autism plays a big part in this. My reactions to food I don't like aren't intentional, I will literally just shudder and gag.

Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot.

Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, I'm not interested.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think she ~technically~ has a two-part first name and no middle name, but w/e. She doesn't go by her actual name though.

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Disney World, yes.

Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Yes. We had a basketball hoop stolen from our front yard, and our house was also egged one Halloween. We also had an attempted break-in by the Bloods gang. I grew up in a bad town, and to this day I don't understand why we were targeted for so much, we bothered absolutely nobody. My one and only assumption is because we were the first house on a street of the "better" houses; we didn't quite live in the hood or whatever, but the road adjacent to us had more cookie-cutter houses that I'm aware were cheaper and with less yard space than our road. I haven't an inkling of any other idea of what the issue might have been.

What colour are your brother’s eyes? Blue, if I remember correctly.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 112. I'm picky with who I add on there.

Do you regularly check anyone’s profile online? Nope.

Is there anything unusual about your house? No.

What is your favourite type of cookie? Just your basic bitch gooey chocolate chip.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? No, I'd have an anxiety attack.

Do you snore when you sleep? I do, and I'm very self-conscious of it. I never did when I was a healthy weight and I'm aware my sleep apnea is obesity-induced, so I'm hoping I won't forever.

Who do you (romantically) love? Girt.

Do you wish you could go back and change anything about your childhood? More than anything, I wish my dad was a better dad. I wish he was never an alcoholic. Even though I have very fond memories of playing outside and stuff, I do wish we'd lived in a better, safer town. I wish my parents were stricter about us doing chores.

What would your mom do if you told her you were pregnant? Panic, cry. She knows I'd need an abortion and I have no income so she'd probably assume she'd be paying for it, and even though she's pro-choice by her age (she wasn't always), paying for the extermination of her potential grandchild would basically be the same as tearing her limb from limb. For clarification though I wouldn't ask her to pay for such a thing, I'd be talking to Girt way before her. Hell, I'd ask my DAD before her, just because I know she'd probably rather die herself.

Do you think you have nice feet? No, they're extremely calloused from when I was a teenager and would walk for hours. They just never went away. I also have extremely small toes in a way I think is slightly disproportionate.

Where did you get your name? My mom just liked it. My middle name runs in my family.

What’s the most unique or exotic food you’ve tried? Idk, nothing very weird at all.

Who was your first online friend? A girl nicknamed Kat from the Meerkat Manor forums. Mazzy was extremely close behind or honestly about the same time, both were there when I joined the forums, I just remember I got closer to Kat first.

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? Autism. I KNOW I'm a high-functioning, high-masking autistic. The revelation that I have it has changed my life and how I face certain issues I have. I've been professionally tested for it, and the results were "yeah, probably a high-functioning autistic, somewhere on the spectrum, we just need further observation for an actual diagnosis." So, the issue is, I don't know the next step to GET an actual diagnosis. Am I supposed to return to this specific location after some amount of time for another test or what? Who has the ACTUAL authority to say, in this moment, "yeah, you have it?"

Do people tell you you have cold hands? Yeah, actually.

When was the last time you held an umbrella? I have zero idea.

Do you feel that the shape of the pasta alters the taste? No.

In games, do you like to roleplay as good or bad? Well in actual writing RP, I tend to enjoy RPing baddies. I try to be a good person, so I think RPing characters that don't give a fuck is a fun experience lmao

Is there an instrument you don't like the sound of? I'm sure there's something, if I actually thought about it. Nothing I have a strong opinion about.

Would you rather be a kangaroo or a sea turtle? Kangaroo. I like social animals and I also don't want to live in fear of getting caught in plastic and shit lol

Do you like to get ready in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bedroom, usually.

What's your favourite Coldplay song? "Paradise"

Do you have a favourite insect? Butterflies and moths. I also love orchid mantises.

What colour is your ceiling? White. We have those godawful popcorn ceilings.

Do you own a scooter? No.

When did you last play a Mario game? Oh jeez, it had to be Mario Kart YEEEEAAAARS ago. I was never really into Mario games.

Are your bedroom curtains long or short? I don't have curtains, this house has shutters.

Have you ever attempted to sculpt something from ice? No.

Have you ever had to wear an oxygen mask? Yes, from an asthma attack as well as another ER visit from a severe asthma flare-up that bordered on an attack.

What’s your favorite thing you own that YOU made? Drawings.

[TW: EATING DISORDERS/SIMILAR] Have you ever starved yourself? I've tried to. I react to severe hunger pains badly though so I never lasted very long.

Has anyone ever had to physically restrain you from doing something? Attempting to kill myself, yes. This happened twice, first with Jason and then with Mom.

Do you like the pretzel M&Ms? I do! Man, that sounds good. The bit of salt adds so much.

Have you ever been accused of thinking you’re too good for something? No.

Have you ever stolen someone’s boyfriend? In technicality, I guess so. Joel broke up with Jenna because he wanted me instead, but thankfully I came to my goddamn senses and cut ties with him.

Do you have a locket? What’s the picture inside of it? No.

How do you react when you feel embarrassed about something? I react to embarrassment the worst out of any emotion. I get VERY short and defensive and want to flee the situation, and it's entirely probable I'll cry.

Have you ever tried to "fix" someone? Sure haven't, that ain't my job.

When’s the last time you were carried by someone? Hell if I know, I weigh almost 300 pounds and have been obese for many years, no one's carrying me lmfao

Are you in possession of any currency that isn’t used in your country? No.

Did anyone witness your last kiss? No, Mom wasn't in the room at the time.

Do you have any younger siblings? Yes, Nicole.

Are you cool with them, or do they annoy you to no end? I love and respect her immensely. It's hard to believe she's my "little" sister. Oftentimes I feel like she doesn't like me though, but both Mom and Ashley agree Nicole is very weird about showing affection or anything similar with anyone but like, kids.

Last person you flipped off? Probably Girt haha, but playfully of course.

Anyone who’s way over-protective of you? No.

Have you ever been to a rave? No, I feel like I'd hate it.

[homeofhousechickens]

Here’s a couple of dumb questions about chickens: so I always assumed that when a class gets like chickens to hatch or something and have a dozen eggs or whatever, that they are all full siblings. But I think (as far as I know) that most chickens only lay an egg a day, but all of the chicks tend to hatch around the same time. So are the chicks actually from multiple mothers? Or can a hen store sperm or do they have to breed every single time if they want to lay a viable egg? Also how do they know which eggs to send if it’s basically any of the eggs (like do they just pick all the eggs of hens that have been in contact with a rooster or…)? Or is this why there is such a low hatch rate?

Sorry these are probably too much for you to answer so feel free to ignore, or if you know any sources that might be helpful (I have no idea what to google for this). Thanks and again I’m sorry for the bother!

Hmm really it depends on who is supplying the eggs but typically you can make the assumption that most of those chicks share the same father since a lot of hobby flocks only have one rooster. Its possible some of those eggs are from the same mother as hatching eggs are collected over a period of days since you have about 1 week to 2 weeks of time before they stop being viable. When you have collected all the eggs you want to hatch you put them under a broody hen or in the incubator together, this is why they all hatch around the same time. As a breeder myself i can also tell which hens lay what eggs because each of my hens lay a slightly different shape and some have more bloom then others so i can choose if i want to hatch a specific hens eggs if i want by collecting them over a period of days. Hens can store sperm so if she is exposed to multiple roosters its possible for her to lay an egg sired by one boy then the next day lay an egg that was sired by another, most breeders say you should wait 30 days before hatching if your hen has been exposed to a different rooster then you want and you want to be sure your getting the correct pairing. Id say the low hatch rates in classroom eggs is likely just due to poor incubator management. Incubators can be difficult machines and incubation isn't as simple as heat + egg + time = baby chick. The humidity needs to be in a certain range, to much and the chicks can accumulate to much moisture leading bacterial growth or worse drowning in the egg. Not enough humidity can lead to shrink wrapping and other issues. If the temperature suddenly spikes or plummets it can cause birth defects and outright kill a developing chick. Managing an incubator in a classroom setting can be difficult especially since most classroom incubators are cheap and prone to malfunctions.

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

6, 9 and 10

6: which ship fans are the most annoying?:

I honestly don’t care enough about shipping to have any specific takes (ace spectrum swagger) but like if I had to choose I think sn*tchnessa and sn*tchmoon just due to you know Vanessa being his abuser and sn*tchmoon puts a bad taste in my mouth due to bad past experiences is all ((censoring them so they don’t show up in search results) tho there are a few others that just personally bug me but only bc my own hc’s clash w them like when ppl ship characters that I have as siblings or family in my own au when they aren’t canonically so like I said that’s more personal and not on the ppl shipping them/I don’t see it as annoying or nothing like that) oh and obviously pr*ship shit that should go without saying but sadly with a franchise like ahit with the main characters being children and one of those children has a cut adult design people will be freaks :(

9: worst part of canon:

I’ve said this before but it boils down to a few really really small nitpicks 1: conductor should’ve had a better reason to want the time piece bc his motivation doesn't make near as much sense as grooves, 2: they should have kept the cut cutscenes of mu in subcon and the cast talking about Hattie at the end (and made hats diary a prominent thing and not an Easter egg) because all of those help with characterization/showing POVs and also bc mu kinda gets forgotten so having her show up in the middle would help remind players of her being in the plot/collecting TPs, and 3: have an option where mu should have been the one to fix everything at the end not Hattie like a multi choice thing/so she can redeem herself at least a little bit idk it’s a undertale pacifist endingcore thing

10: worst part of fanon:

uhhhhh honestly idk just bc a lot of my issues aren’t even issues/popular things anymore and even then I don’t remember a lot of em, but off the top of my head is mischaracterization of snatcher and hat, the woobification/sexualization of Vanessa, and the over abundance of everyone just copying maks aus back in the day rather than doing more original aus/hcs (tho all these issues I think arent near as prominent nowadays thankfully tho that might be bc I don’t look at fan stuff much anymore/had blocked a lot of ppl that perpetuated these issues I had, the only thing I can think of that is still kinda an issue is other characters being overshadowed but that can’t really be fixed oof) (the last one abt mak is actually I think the reason I made aau back in the day in the first place bc everyone was kinda doing the same thing, tho that wasn’t BAD I just wished there was more variety in hcs or the like etc which did end up happening so yayyyy!! :3)

[angelicyoongie]

desolate (14) - M

— summary: you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so, you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

— pairing: cat hybrid yoongi x human reader

— genre: angst, fluff, smut

— word count: 7.4k — warnings: 🔞 this chapter contains smut; unprotected sex (don’t do that tho), fingering, knotting, etc.

— tag list: @mrcleanheichou @btstxtgenre @ladymidnightt @cheese123344 @xanny91 @dinorahrodriguez @best-space-boy @dulcaet @moccahobi @keijaycreates @staytrillswag @xsmilebitesx @serendipityoreuphoria @jiminot7 @beyond-the-swag @nananaum1 @mult1wh0re @faithsummers11 @twomilkmen-gocomedy @theonewholovestoread @karissassirak @veryuniquenamegoeshere @yourlipssoirresistible @ayoo-bangtan @murderyoursoul @btsxdoll @see3milyblog @gukiyi @mtgforall @narcissism-iskey @sp3ak-yours3lf @cesthoney @imluckybitches @hd-junglebook @sugarrimajins @multifandomgirl29 @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @bangtansleftnut @theresa-nam-nam-me @angeltothecore @ghostkat23 @deathkat657 @awixxx @httpmedxsa @veronawrites @bubbletae7 @serious-addiction @chogiyeol-utopia @nomimits7 @lorielulu7 @1am9root6 @sana-b @diamonddia-mond @jiminiessipabo @myhearttteu @rainbowmagicpixecorn @lidda @rosiethefairy @lovinggalaxies @midnight1199 @trinityautumn @linniewritesficz @fearhoshi @ess-place @juniesoftbot @kingalls00 @toribug2020 @daydreambrliever @moonlight-mochi @sleepyje0n @yoonie-bby @alltimeyoongi @honestlyfuriousharmony @itsoktheresbts @suzziequeuie @miss–insanity @illnevertrustmyselfagain @annoyingpessimist @lovelikeyouwant @originalpersonawobblerduck @cigarettes-after-tears @kookie-vuitton @thefangirlsoul @lmna990 @luvshorses08 @marvelstuck​ @kissmeimwitchy​ @crazyxforxmyself @hxsxxk-180294​ @ratking101​ @brittaney341 @shameless-army​ @yuukihime2097​ @adoorinyourheart @heimdoodle​ @kissing-fear​ @toripeix​ @horanghae18​ @redperson58​ @awsome-small-k​ @salomea27​ @johnnystolemywig​ @mihto​ @jisoosbitch​ @lyrxbz​ @forever-once-gone​ @sugalarity @out-of-jams​ @ithinkileftmycoatoutside​ @witchxlove​ @chocoflagcutii @alyboo-jpeg​ @ladyartemesia​ @tatiiz24​ @boinko-boye @kaceyxmarie74​ @fuckthatfeeling​ @makepastanotwar13​ @airiguk​ @justliketheoceann @strawbewymiwk​ @skswriting​ @kofikats​ @rainbow-zebra-unicorns​ @mhmbrigitta​ @forever-yoongis​ @prybts​ @phatbussyincorporated @itsmethepancake​ @alterlovess​ @boredoomfm​ @furblrwurblr​ @moments-of-melancholy​ @barbikatherine​ @crookedstarlitnight​ @moonlightjoonx​ @ibsenova-nora​ @aphroditis-world @ramaali1​ @inhalebts​ @gguksfilter​ @kerikaaria​ @paradise-writings​ @yoongisabby​ @childcorrectionfacility-school​ @eriiiichan @baka-chanismyname​ @sugaesthetichoe​ @junasaurusrex​ @fluffreader @justzeera​ @swoozleee​ @beansplz​ @aestaeticbts23 @slut-for-fandoms​ @joyful-jimin​ @phasephoenix​ @nanananisstuff

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten (M) Part eleven Part twelve Part thirteen 

For the first time in weeks, you actually feel refreshed when you wake up. You let out a soft sigh against Yoongi’s sweater, the material soft and warm underneath your cheek. You let the sleepiness fade away bit by bit, enjoying the sunlight peeking into your apartment and the steady rhythm of Yoongi’s heartbeat thrumming against your ear. You would be content with staying here forever, in the quiet and peaceful morning all wrapped up in Yoongi, but the quiet rumbling in your stomach lets you know that you might have to change your plans.  

Yoongi lets out a low grumble of displeasure the moment you try to slip away from him, his arms tightening around your waist to make sure you won’t leave. Yoongi buries his nose deeper into your hair, the rumble in his chest melting into a softer purr as he inhales your scent. Your heart does a little flip at the action, a grin tugging at your lips as you press a quick peck to Yoongi’s chest. It takes a few minutes, but you eventually manage to wiggle out of Yoongi’s hold, careful not to wake him.

You wince as you open the door to the fridge, the barren inside mocking you. There are still a few days until you get paid, but hopefully this will last you until then. You decide that some scrambled eggs and toast will have to do - and you make quick work of getting everything ready. You’re leaning against the counter, watching mindlessly as the eggs start to cook and fluff up. You can’t believe you even entertained the idea of adopting Yoongi last night. You grimace, eyes gliding over to the stack of bills on the other side of the counter. You can’t even pay for your current living expenses, how the hell are you supposed to take care of Yoongi too?

You stir the eggs with a little more force than necessary, eyebrows pinched tightly as you try to run through all the possible options you have. Yoongi needs an owner – it’s the law. Even if he wanted to apply to become a free one, he would still need to be owned during the process. And if you won’t adopt him, he’ll be forced to find someone else. He’ll likely be brought to a shelter whether he wants to or not, and you have a feeling that the next person that adopts him won’t exactly see him as an equal in the same way that you do. If Yoongi leaves, there’s no guarantee you’ll even be able to ever see him again. It won’t be up to him, it’ll be something for his new owner to decide. And you don’t want that. You don’t want Yoongi to go back to the same situation he just escaped from. But what choice you do have? Especially now that your current job is hanging on by a thin thread.

You’ll just have to pick up two jobs, maybe even three if you can make the shifts match up. You managed to survive on five hours of sleep a day back in university during your exams, so it can’t be that hard to do it again, right? Sure it will probably be exhausting, but you’ll deal with it if it means that Yoongi can stay.

“What’s wrong?” You nearly jump out of your skin as Yoongi’s breath fans across your ear, his chest flush to your back as he wraps his arms around your waist. You had forgotten just how quiet Yoongi could be, truly living up to his cat genetics. You hesitate, unsure if it’s worth sharing your troubles with Yoongi if it’s only going to make him feel bad. You don’t doubt he’ll tell you it’s okay and find someone else if he thinks it’s too much for you to manage.

“Tell me, kitten. I could smell your anxiety from the living room,” Yoongi’s voice is ladled with sleep, the slight rasp making your legs feel weak. The soft fur of Yoongi’s ear brushes against your chin when you hesitantly bite down on your lip, his enhanced hearing picking up even the smallest of sounds.

“Yoongi, are you sure you don’t want to be a free hybrid?” You feel his arms stiffen, his fingers digging into the material of your – his – hoodie. “I just want to make sure that you’re making the right choice. Not to say that you can’t become one later! I just .. don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

“I don’t really have the necessary funds to help you with the process, and it might take a while for me to save up if that’s what you want. I know Mr. Yang had some options for you that might be better if you want that in the near future,” You mumble. If Yoongi relies on you to become a free hybrid, it will probably take you closer to ten years to save up what he needs with the meagre paycheck you have now. That is, if you even get to keep your job for that long.

“Y/n,” Yoongi turns his head, lips meeting your throat in a chaste kiss. “I’ll tell you this as many times as you need to hear it, but I really don’t want to become one. I have more protection, more rights, as an adopted hybrid than I would ever have as a free one. It doesn’t matter what the government tries to portray it as – it isn’t true,” He lets out a low hiss.

“I just want some stability, someone I can call home. And I really want that to be you,” Yoongi murmurs.

“I want that too,” You rest a hand on top of Yoongi’s, tilting your head to lean against his. You want it so, so bad. “It’s just –“

“The bills?” Yoongi continues. You give him a weak noise of confirmation, gaze unwillingly straying over to the pile of all of your problems.

“Don’t worry about it, kitten. It’s my turn to take care of you now after everything you’ve done for me.”

You suck in a surprised breath, quickly turning around in Yoongi’s hold to properly look at him. “What do you mean, ‘take care of me’?” You ask carefully, eyebrows pinched with confusion as Yoongi’s lips curl into a blinding smile.

“Exactly what I said,” Yoongi tugs you closer, your hands falling to rest on his chest to keep your balance. Yoongi’s tail brushes across your calves, trailing up your legs until it settles around your waist, gently curling around it just above where Yoongi’s hands are resting on your hips.

“Apparently when that fucker was fined a hundred thousand dollars, it was a hundred thousand to each of his victims,” Yoongi’s lips curl with displeasure as he utters the last word. “He had made so much money on trading us that it wasn’t even an issue for him to pay up right away. He’s probably going to try to reduce his sentence by being good and paying everything he’s required to.” He lets out a humourless snort, the tail around your waist giving you an involuntary squeeze at his flaring anger.

“He’s not going to get out Yoongi. Even if they do reduce it by some years, it’s not going to be enough for him to actually get released,” You say, gently moving a hand up to cup Yoongi’s face. The cat hybrid leans into your touch the moment your skin makes contact with his, eyelids fluttering closed as you run your thumb across his cheek. There’s no way Mr. Park is ever going to get released, and even if he against all odds should, you’re going to make sure you’ll put him right back where he belongs. You mull over Yoongi’s words as he rubs his cheek against your palm, one word jumping out at you.

Us.

“Yoongi, when you said us, do you mean your .. siblings?” You watch as Yoongi’s face stiffens, the fingers on your hips digging in a little deeper, before he breathes out a low “Yes.”

You can’t even imagine how hard it much be to know that you have family out there, but having no idea where they are or how many. Considering there even was a list, and Mr. Park had been running his breeding business for years before he got caught, you don’t doubt that it has to be long.

“Do you want to find them?” You ask carefully. It must be hard, painful even, for Yoongi to know that he’s not alone; that he has siblings out there who knows what he’s been through, and likely has been in the same terrible situation as he has, or maybe even worse – but that’s also why you’re not really all that shocked when Yoongi’s eyes flutters open, his gaze firm as he takes a deep breath and then, “No. I have all the family I need right here.”

And that’s more than fine. You can’t blame him for not wanting to relive his old life through every sibling he would meet. He doesn’t deserve it. What Yoongi needs, is to move on and put it all behind him, and you’re more than willing to help him do just that.

“Okay,” You nod, stomach fluttering at Yoongi’s words. Aside from Jihyo and Sana, Yoongi is the only family you really have. You don’t see yours too often, maybe once a year, and it’s always tense, always filled with You should’ve studied this or You’re still living there? and that’s not what family should be. It’s not what Yoongi is.

“You got me side-tracked kitten,” Yoongi grumbles, nipping playfully after your hand as you slide it down to rest on his shoulder. “What I meant to say was, I have money now. For once, let me take care of you and pay you back for everything you’ve done for me these past months,” Yoongi looks down at you earnestly, hopefully, and it just makes you heart bloom even more.

“I want you to use the money to find a new place for us to live, somewhere that’s a little safer,” He takes a step closer, pulling your chest flush against his as he ducks his head down to look at you. “I’ve got no use for the money on my own, I can’t even use it without an owner–“ Yoongi pouts, his eyes sparkling as he can see your resolve begin to crumble in front of his eyes, “– so if you’re really that apprehensive about it, just think of it as doing me a favour.”

It sounds tempting. You do want to adopt Yoongi and you do want to move you both somewhere nicer, but there’s still something gnawing at your conscience.

“If I adopt you –“ The tip of Yoongi’s tail flicks excitedly along your stomach at your words, “then you have to promise me that you’ll keep your money for yourself. You can pay half, and I’ll pay half. I’m not going to exploit you.”

“Okay, deal,” Yoongi doesn’t miss a beat as he closes the last distance between the two of you, his plush lips finding yours easily. You bring your hands up around his neck, carding your fingers through the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. It’s getting long again, and now would probably be a good time to finally take Yoongi to a proper hairdresser to get it cut. A loud purr rumbles from Yoongi’s chest as you intertwine your hands in his hair, the sound echoing in your little kitchen. You pull back, letting out an enamoured laugh as you see the faint flush in Yoongi’s cheeks.

Yoongi’s eyes narrow at your amusement, his mouth opening to shoot back a retort when he stops to wrinkle his nose, head tilting to the side to look at something over your shoulder. His tail quickly detaches from your waist as he lets out a snort, and says, “I think the eggs are burning.”

“Shit!”

.

Your eyes shift warily around the office as you make your way inside, the cold weather still lingering in your bones as you quickly shuffle over to your desk. Jihyo doesn’t even spare you a glance as you sit down, her mouth slightly agape as her eyes stay glued to the screen in front of her.

You sweep your gaze across the office as you remove your coat, surprised to find that most of your co-workers seem to either be doing the same thing as Jihyo, or whispering quietly amongst themselves.

“Jihyo? What’s going on?” You murmur as you take your seat. Jihyo shakes her head as she mouths out email, her gaze still locked on to her computer. You frown as you quickly boot up your own, a sudden sense of urgency making you desperate to get into the system.

You tap your fingers impatiently against your desk as the computer logs you in, your hands flying across the keyboard to open up your mail. You bring up the email that says ‘URGENT’, eyes flying across the screen as you skim through it. You can feel your own mouth falling open in shock as you reach the bottom, a wave of relief hitting you so hard you might actually cry if you don’t pull yourself together.

“Jihyo?” You breathe, and Jihyo finally meets your eyes, her surprise mirroring yours.

“I can’t believe he got fired!” She hisses, and you can’t do much more than shake your head in disbelief. You can’t believe it either. All the anxiety and worries you’ve had for your future that suddenly seemed so bleak is .. gone, just like that.

The email doesn’t say how your boss got exposed for sabotaging cases, just that he got found out, and that resulted in immediate termination. Not only that – but apparently the higher ups in the company has decided to merge with another firm that specializes in the same field; expanding the company and making it so that there won’t be one boss to oversee everything, but rather new team leaders and smaller groups working together.

You suppose the thought behind it is that it’ll make it easier to see if anyone is trying to exploit their positions or somehow foil their cases. Perhaps the thing that stood out the most was the fact that anyone who has worked at either of the two companies for three years or more can apply to the new positions, and you’re qualified to do that.

Jihyo seems to be following your train of thought, because she lets out a low giggle, her eyes sparkling as she says, “You’re going to be such a good team leader.”

“Jihyo!” You scold, “You don’t even know if I’ll get it. There are lots of people who as just as qualified as me.” But you can’t help but hope. Getting a promotion would solve so much, and it would make both yours and Yoongi’s life so much easier.

“Maybe, but I don’t think anyone is going to try as hard as you,” Jihyo gives you once over, her eyebrow quirking as she sees the small tug at your lip, a faint smile you haven’t been able to wipe off ever since you fell asleep yesterday.

“I take it that you worked things out with Yoongi?” She grins. Her smile seems to grow impossibly wider at your embarrassed nod, and she lets out an extravagant sigh, hands clutches to her chest as she says, “Ah your poor competition, they definitely don’t stand a chance now.”

.

“I’ll go get the last one,” Yoongi says, his tail brushing against the back of your hand as he walks past you. You huff in agreement, in box in your arms feeling like it’s going to tear them clean off as you quickly shuffle into the living room. You drop it onto the nearby table with a groan, rolling your shoulders to get the ache out of them as you step back.

Your new living room is littered with boxes, everything from your old apartment crammed into one room. You’ve brought no furniture along aside from your old coffee table, the other pieces so old and worn you and Yoongi both decided it was time to invest in something new. Your new couch and bed thankfully arrived the day before, so everything was ready to move into as soon as you brought all of your belongs over to the new house.

These past months still feel so surreal. You got that promotion you fought tooth and nail for, making both your hours and your pay much better. You even have the option to work from home a few days a week now, and that’s something you’ve been taking advantage of as much as possible. Your promotion also meant that you could finally find a new place to live now that you could split the cost fifty-fifty with Yoongi. It was the cat hybrid that had showed you the listing for a quaint little house on the outskirts of the city, and you knew right away that this was the right place for the both of you. The house is everything you’ve ever dreamed of. It’s not anything grand, but it’s more than enough for you and Yoongi, a pretty little home with a garden you just know will bloom beautifully once spring rolls around.

The large windows in the living room gives the house so much light, and you feel like you can finally breathe properly for the first time in months. Especially after being confined in your little shoebox apartment for years. It was a good home, but you had outgrown it long ago – long before you even met Yoongi.

Not to mention, you officially adopted Yoongi a few weeks after he came back, not wanting to drag out the inevitable even longer. It was weird–and it still is–signing the papers that meant you now had complete and utter ownership of another person, of Yoongi, but despite all that, you know deep down that it’s for the best. That Yoongi finally has the protection and safety he craves, and if he ever wants to become free, or leave, it’s never something you’ll use against him. The papers are nothing more than a formality to keep Yoongi safe, and that’s what you cling to whenever you wonder if you’ve done the right thing or not.

One thing you don’t think you can ever get used to though, is the stares. It’s been a little over three months since the trials, but people don’t seem to have forgotten about Yoongi just yet. You suppose it’s not that weird considering it isn’t often hybrids are represented on TV, but still, it keeps catching you off guard. It doesn’t matter if people look at him with interest or thinly veiled disgust, you can’t help but feel defensive when you catch people staring. So you don’t even think twice anymore before you switch places with Yoongi as you walk, or tug him along to another area in the supermarket under the guise that you saw something new you want to try. You’re pretty sure Yoongi has caught on long ago to what you have been doing, but he never complains about it – just follows along with a smile and a squeeze to your hand, and so you take it as permission to continue.

“Last one,” Yoongi grumbles as he brushes past you, the tight-fitting sweater leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. You watch, transfixed, as his biceps strain under the weight of the box he’s carrying, the sight making your mouth run dry.

“That’s great,” You feel your cheeks flush at how affected you sound. Not only has Yoongi finally gained back all the weight he was missing, but he has also been working out, a lot. While you might not have initially pegged Yoongi as someone who enjoys heavy exercise, you’re not all that surprised that it’s a hobby he’s grown fond of either. You know it’s something many hybrids enjoy, because for a lot of them, it’s the only thing that yields any results. And so, hybrid friendly gyms aren’t only a place for them to exercise, but to make friends too. You’re sure his heightened interest has more to do about the people he trains with more than the actual training itself, but it makes him happy, and that’s all that matters. And it’s not like you mind seeing Yoongi growing buffer either, but that’s sort of the issue. Because if you thought it was hard keeping your hands off him before, it’s almost torture now.

Yoongi’s head whips around at the breathless tilt to your voice as he puts the box down, the concern in his gaze transforming into something darker as he realizes why you seem so flushed.

“See something you like?” Yoongi teases, his biceps bulging against his sweater as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Rude.

“That’s not– I’m just tired,” You awkwardly clear your throat as you shift you gaze elsewhere, anywhere, that doesn’t put you in danger of making yourself drool.

“I’m sure you are, kitten,” Yoongi hums. You can feel his dark gaze burning into your face as he steps closer, but you refuse to meet it, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching you squirm. Yoongi doesn’t stop until he’s directly in front of you, a puff of air fanning across your cheek as he leans in closer. Soft fur brushes against your exposed ankles, the feeling so unexpected it makes your breath hitch. But Yoongi doesn’t comment on it, only presses a soft kiss to your cheek and murmurs, “You did well today. Go get washed up and I’ll start putting things away.” And then he leaves, the soft echo of footsteps making their way to the kitchen making you snap out of your daze.

The thing is, you haven’t been .. intimate with Yoongi ever since his rut. It wasn’t that either of you regret it, because you sure don’t, and Yoongi has made it very clear that he doesn’t; but you both agreed that you went about it a little backwards. So you both decided to take things slow. To do things right this time. It’s not like you don’t touch – because you very much do. You get all the hand holding, hugs, cuddles and gentle kisses you want, but Yoongi always pulls away before things can escalate into something more. And well, you always feel a little wave of relief go through your system every time he does.

You think you both might actually be a little nervous to take it any further. I do want to, but, you’re scared. Scared that Yoongi might not want you in the same way that he did during his rut. You know ruts are only supposed to amplify the needs and desires that are already there, but what if that goes for Yoongi’s enjoyment too? What if you’re not enough without his rut heightening his emotions? You know it’s silly – stupid – to think so, and that Yoongi keeps proving those thoughts wrong all the time, but still, just because you know some things are silly doesn’t mean it’s easy to let go of them.

You’re not sure why Yoongi keeps backing off, but maybe he’s worried about the same thing? Must be. You sigh, running your fingers through your tangled locks as you decide to take Yoongi up on his offer. You do really need a little pick-me up, and taking a shower sounds divine. As you make your way over to your bathroom, you can’t help the smile that graces your lips as you listen to Yoongi shuffling around in the kitchen. You know you’ll have to face those silly fears sooner rather than later, but for now, you’re happy to just push those feelings down and pretend they don’t exist.  

But as always, things never turn out the way you want them to.

.

“Yoongi,” You pant as teeth nip against your collarbones, a rough tongue swiping over the marks to soothe the sting. You swear you have no idea how you ended up here. One second you were just relaxing on your new couch next to Yoongi after a long day of moving, and the next you’re caged in underneath his body, experiencing the most action you’ve had in months. You’re already breathing hard just from the intense make-out session you had, your lips bruised and raw from all of Yoongi’s nibbling and biting.

“What kitten?” Yoongi purrs against your neck, his fluffy ears twitching back and fourth to make sure he doesn’t miss any sound you make. The vibration against your throat makes you choke, your hands flying up to tangle into Yoongi’s soft locks.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want to r-rush if you’re not ready,” You stutter halfway through as Yoongi licks a long stripe up your neck, his sharp teeth grazing the shell of your ear. There’s a confused huff of air, Yoongi reluctantly pulling back from your neck to properly look at you.

“Why wouldn’t I be ready?” Yoongi asks.

“Because you kept stopping whenever things started uh, heating up?” You wince at your poor word choice, Yoongi cocking his head to the side as he watches you carefully.

“I did that because of you, Y/n. You were practically choking my senses with how nervous you were – I was trying to take things slow and not make you uncomfortable.”

Oh.

“So I think I should be asking you if you’re okay, kitten, not the other way around. We can stop now if you want to,” Yoongi leans down to press a quick peck against your nose, the gentle smile on his face making your heart skip a beat.

“I’m nervous,” You admit. “The last time we did this was during your rut, and that was multiple supressed ruts combined into one, and so I’m just scared that you won’t enjoy it as much now that it’s just .. me,” You mumble, diverting your gaze to Yoongi’s shoulder.

Yoongi lets out a low growl, his tail winding around your knee as he leans in closer, forcing you eyes back onto his face as he says, “When will you learn to stop assuming things, kitten?”

“My rut doesn’t dictate anything, Y/n. What I feel during it and after it stays the same. Ruts just makes me horny for a longer period of time,” He grins at the faint flush in your cheeks, tail slowly parting your legs until he can situate himself in between them. “This–” Yoongi rolls his hips, ears perking up at the breathy sound you make as the hardness between his legs brushes against your core, “–is all you. Want you so bad, kitten. Rut or no rut.”

The slight desperation in his voice combined with the feeling of Yoongi pressed up against you, is just what you need to throw your worries out the window. There’s no need in denying yourself something you’ve wanted for so long when Yoongi obviously feels the same way that you do.

“Me too, want you too,” You rush out, eager to have Yoongi’s lips back on yours. You pull him down, fingers still tangled in his hair as he meets you halfway. It’s doesn’t take long before Yoongi deepens it, lips moving hungrily against yours as you anchor yourself in the locks between your fingers, the slight tugging only spurring Yoongi on even more.

You whine as Yoongi runs his tongue along your lips, your mouth parting automatically to let him in. Yoongi shifts his weight, the motion freeing up one of his arms. Yoongi slowly trails his hand down your chest; the unhurried touch such a juxtaposition to the feverish movement of his lips that it makes your body tremble. Yoongi lets his hand rest on your stomach for a moment, the warmth of his hand burning through the material of your shirt.

“Yoongi,” You whimper when it doesn’t seem like he’s planning on moving his hand any lower, your core clenching around nothing with how desperate you are to get his fingers where you need them.

Yoongi pulls back with a low chuckle; the sound quickly bordering on a growl the moment he sees your spit slicked and bruised lips. “Bed first,” Yoongi pants, the hunger in his eyes setting your body on fire.

Yoongi’s lips are back on yours as soon as you get up front the couch; slender hands holding your face steady as he starts backing you out of the room. You fist your hands into fabric of his sweater, tugging impatiently as Yoongi bites down on your lower lip, the low vibration from his chest a clear warning of have patience, but you’re far too needy to care. You let out a surprised squeak as the room suddenly tilts, your knees buckling against the side of the bed.

You scramble to pull yourself up further, your hungry eyes drinking in the smooth paleness of Yoongi’s body as he quickly rids himself of his sweater. You choke back a moan as he steps out his jeans, the newly defined muscles in Yoongi’s thighs making your mouth water as he crawls up the bed. You make quick work of your own clothes, Yoongi’s eyes nothing short of predatory as his gaze trails all over your exposed skin.

“You’re so pretty, kitten,” Yoongi purrs as he nudges you down, resuming the same position he had on the couch as he cages you back in. You’re both still in your underwear, Yoongi’s length straining against the material as he places his hand back on your stomach. You slide your hands up Yoongi’s shoulders until you can twist your fingers into his soft hair again, and this time Yoongi doesn’t need any prompting before his fingers slide further down your stomach, fingers hooking into the side of your underwear as he beings to peel it down.

The damp patch on your underwear only serves as evidence of how soaking wet you are already, and Yoongi’s eyes seem to grow darker, wilder, as he realizes just how ready for him you are. Yoongi surges down to capture your lips, his harsh breaths intertwining with yours as his fingers find their way back to your core. Yoongi swallows down the gasp that leaves your lips as his fingers drag between your folds, the slow friction bordering on torturous before his thumb starts doing lazy circles around your bud, your hips buckling up for more pressure.

“Don’t be impatient kitten,” Yoongi clicks his tongue, but the smugness on his face is wiped away by a sudden groan as he removes his touch from you completely, expression almost pained as he sees how his fingers are glistening with your juices. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” He growls. You can’t help the embarrassingly loud moan that escapes your lips as Yoongi starts lapping up the wetness on his fingers, his tail shuddering being his back. If you weren’t aching for Yoongi to sink into you, you probably could’ve orgasmed just from watching him. “Taste so sweet too,” Yoongi rasps.

He watches you through hooded lids as he brings his fingers back down to your core, the first finger barely even stretching your walls from how turned on you are. Finally having some friction against your walls is delicious, but one finger isn’t enough to sate the hunger burning in your belly. Yoongi adds another before you can even ask, the feeling making you mewl as you harshly tug Yoongi down for another kiss. Yoongi adds a third once you give him the clear, his fingers hitting you just right every time he pushes them back inside. You have long since abandoned Yoongi’s hair for the opportunity to explore his body, and the lean muscles seem to jump out against your fingers as you drag them from his chest to his stomach, and back up again to settle on his shoulders. You’re not sure when your bra disappeared, but thank god it did, because Yoongi’s soft lips wrapped around your nipple is enough to make your back arch, the dual stimulation almost too much.

“Need you Yoongi, please,” You beg, one hand quickly releasing his shoulder to reach down between your bodies. You let your fingers slip beneath the waistband of his underwear, Yoongi letting out a choked moan as you wrap your hand around his length. You only get to slide your hand up and down in a few quick pumps before Yoongi grabs your wrist, pulling your hand away as he rids himself of his boxers.

“I won’t last if you do that, kitten,” Yoongi grumbles, seemingly just as on edge as you are. You whine at the loss of his fingers moving inside of you, but the sigh of Yoongi’s cock straining against his stomach is enough to distract you momentarily.

“See something you like?” Yoongi echoes his words from earlier, the smirk of his face widening into a full grin as you can’t do much else but nod, your mind not having room for any thoughts except for the need to have him inside of you.

“Please,” You whimper. Yoongi grab your legs, wrapping them around his waist before he places a hand on your waist, the other guiding his cock to your folds. He keeps his eyes trained on your face for any discomfort as he begins pushing inside, the slight burn making you moan. You squeeze your legs to make sure he doesn’t stop moving, Yoongi filling you up so well you can barely think. Once he bottoms out, hips flushed against yours, he gives you a moment to adjust – and to collect himself – your walls are taking him so well that he won’t be able to last if he doesn’t try to calm down first.

“Shit,” Yoongi hisses as he draws his hips back, your tight heat around his cock making him see stars after practically blueballing himself for months. He wraps his other hand around your waist as well, giving your sides a squeeze before he slams himself back inside, setting a bruising pace straight from the start.

“Fuck, Y-Yoongi,” You moan as he shifts his hips, the next thrust hitting your sweet spot straight on.

“You were made for me kitten, you take me so well,” Yoongi’s head drops against your shoulder, a growl leaving his lips as your pussy seem to squeeze him even tighter, the added friction only spurring on the both of you even more. You don’t know whether to arch away or press closer as Yoongi begins nipping at your skin, the pressure not enough to break skin, but enough to sting deliciously every time he finds another spot to bite down on.

You cross your ankles behind Yoongi’s back, moving your hips up to meet his every time he fucks back into your heat. The pace is nearly too fast to keep up with, but Yoongi lets out a appreciate moan every time you do. You’re slightly more prepared for the stretch of his knot this time, Yoongi mumbling praises against your skin as you roll your hips against him, desperate to feel him expand inside of you.

You know you’re close, your whole body wound up so tight you feel like you’re going to snap in two. But there’s something else you want before that happens.

“Yoongi,” You bring a hand into his hair, a displeased grumble leaving his lips as you force him to pull back from your neck. “Yoongi –” You repeat, glassy eyes meeting his as he continues to fuck into you at a rapid pace, “– please mark me.”

Yoongi’s eyes grow wide, his hips stuttering to a stop as he stares down at you. “Do you mean that Y/n? You know there’s no going back from it,” Yoongi cups your cheek, the absolute adoration on his face making your heart sing. This isn’t the first time you’ve talked about it of course, you’ve had multiple conversations about it before. So you know it has to be done while Yoongi knots you, and well, you are as ready as you’ll ever be. You want to be Yoongi’s in any way that you can.

“Please mark me,” You repeat, watching as the giddy look on Yoongi’s face grows a little darker again, a possessive glint flashing in his eyes as he looks down at you. “Want you be yours – only yours.”

You only have time to suck in a breath before Yoongi’s hips pull back, his thrusts so powerful they begin to inch you up the bed as he slams back in. You still have one hand tangling in Yoongi’s hair, the other balled into the sheets, trying your best to stay in place and meet his movements. Your whole body shudders when Yoongi’s tail suddenly wraps around your waist, the soft appendage offering an extra hold on your body.

“Close, ‘m so f-fucking close,” You moan as you can feel Yoongi’s knot growing bigger, every thrust making it harder and harder to pull out. Yoongi shoves his face into the junction between your neck and shoulder, his rough tongue laving across your salty skin. It’s too much, and the moment Yoongi’s knot finally swells and locks up inside you, your orgasm hits you like a brick, your vision turning white.

Yoongi hisses as your walls clamp down on him, the added pressure the last thing he needs before his cock throbs, sharp teeth sinking into your neck as he paints your walls white. The bite is painful, but the hot liquid spilling inside of you makes you feel so good–so full–that your mind can’t make up whether it wants to focus on the pain or the pleasure.

You let out a pained whimper as Yoongi finally pulls off your neck, his tongue running over the marks to soothe the sting. “You did so well, kitten,” Yoongi murmurs against your skin, the loud purrs from his chest almost overpowering his voice when he says, “I love you so much.”

The words are barely out of his mouth before he freezes up against you, his purrs cutting off so quickly it would almost be comical if it didn’t feel like your own heart was about to burst. You can tell by how tense his body is that he would’ve fled the room already if it wasn’t for his knot keeping you together. Despite everything, this is the first time any of you have actually said it out loud. You almost slipped up a few times, but you were supposed to take things slow, so you made sure to correct yourself before you could. But now ..

“I love you too,” You whisper, Yoongi’s ears twitching against your jaw as he listens intently to your words. But Yoongi doesn’t move. At all. You use the hand in his hair to gently tug him up, your other hand moving to cup his face as he finally meets your gaze.

“What’s wrong?” You murmur. You can’t help but feel a flash of fear that Yoongi didn’t mean it, that he somehow slipped up and said something he wasn’t ready to share yet.

“I love you,” He repeats, the words seemingly rolling a little weird off his tongue, like he’s testing it out. But you see the corners of his mouth twitch, his smile only widening as he starts repeating those three words over and over. You can’t help but smile along with him, the little doubt you had melting away as Yoongi’s confessions make themselves at home inside your heart. He must sense your confusion at his initial reaction though, because he quietly adds a, “I’ve never said that to anyone before.”

You blink, your voice getting caught in your throat as you swallow thickly. It’s simultaneously the sweetest and most heart-breaking thing you’ve ever heard in your life. But you won’t cry, not when Yoongi looks so happy. Happy to have found someone he finally loves, happy to have found you. So you just let out an “I love you too, so much”, your voice thick with emotion and unsaid words you wish you knew how to phrase.

Yoongi only grins wider as you bring his face closer, peppering kisses to any part you can reach. There’s just something so fond in the way those dark eyes looks at you, like you’ve hung the stars and the moon personally for him and he can’t quite believe it. But, you feel like you’re staring back at your own personal ball of sunshine – someone who makes you feel so warm and loved that you’re sure you must be dreaming. So, you think, maybe it’s only fair that you found each other. That you get to create your own little universe with each other.

“Does it still hurt?” Yoongi brushes a careful finger across the mark on your neck, his eyes swirling with emotion as he takes in the very visible claim he’s been wanting to give you ever since you brought him home.

“Not really,” You say. It’s just a dull ache, nothing you can’t handle.

“Suits you,” Yoongi grins deviously, the smile making your stomach flip excitedly. He dips down again, nose brushing along your collarbone before he presses a chaste kiss to the mark. “All mine,” He murmurs.

And maybe you like the sound of that a little too much, the heat in your belly flaring back up as you involuntarily squeeze around Yoongi’s length that’s still buried deep inside of you. Yoongi lets out a sound that sounds like a mixture of a snort and a hiss, his voice a little rougher as he says, “Do you like the sound of that, kitten?”

“Yeah,” You say, “as long as you’re all mine too.”

“Ah–“ Yoongi’s hips twitch, his eyes nearly black with how much love and hunger and wonder he has for you, as he brushes his lips against yours, gentle fingers resting against the claim on your neck. “I’m all yours kitten. Forever. For as long as you want me.”

You decide that forever sounds just about right.

.

“I’m home!” You call out as you close the door behind you, a soft gush of warm spring air following you inside. You quickly shrug off your coat and shoes, padding your way into the living room when you don’t get a reply. You’re about to call out for Yoongi again when you find him, all curled up on the large windowsill.

You keep your footsteps light as you approach him, not wanting to wake him up from his slumber. He’s as pretty as always, dark fur glistening in the sunlight that’s spilling in through the windows, his bushy tail hiding his face from view. His ears twitch as you step on a squeaky floorboard, and you hold your breath as his head moves, a pair of golden eyes sleepily peeking up at you.

“Hi baby,” You coo, quickly closing the rest of the distance between you to crouch down in front of him, your fingers gently scratching below his chin as he flops his head into your hand.

“Did you have a good nap?” You get your answer in how Yoongi nudges his head against your hand, the action both a confirmation and a demand for more pets. You let out an airy laugh, leaning down to press a soft kiss against the top his head. The loud purrs start up immediately, the vibrations so intense you’re scared he might fall off the sill if he keeps them up.

“I love you too,” You smile, running your fingers over his smooth fur a few times before you rise to your feet. “Take another nap, I’ll come get you once dinner is ready.” Yoongi blinks up at you slowly, your body filling with warmth at how he still manages to look at you so lovingly even as a cat. You wait until Yoongi lies back down, his tail brushing over his face again to block out most of the sunlight.

You take a moment to breathe, your eyes trailing slowly over the blooming garden outside your window, and Yoongi resting peacefully in front of it. You just feel so happy, so at ease, like you could burst with how much love that seems to be coursing through your veins.

You throw Yoongi another glance, the stuttering purrs bringing a soft smile to your face as you inhale deeply, the familiar scents of home bringing a sense of peace over you that you never even knew existed before you met Yoongi.

Maybe forever won’t be long enough. Maybe, you think, you should settle for eternity instead.

- - - -

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and support, it means so much to me that so many of you have been enjoying Yoongi's story! It feels very bittersweet to be wrapping desolate up, this was the first hybrid story I ever wrote and so it will always hold a special place in my heart. But, I do hope you'll stick around for Abundance and the other stories I will be posting from now on. There's lots more hybrid content coming your way!

Our sweet kitty finally got his happy ending, and I hope Yoongi's luck will rub on to you too if you're struggling with anything right now. Nothing is constant and all bad things will eventually come to an end. :)

If you enjoyed desolate and maybe want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here! 💖 Love you all, stay safe! <3

[zuko-always-lies]

What Ty Lee Being at the Circus Indicates About Her Relationship with Azula

Ty Lee begins ATLA at the circus.  There is a lot we don’t know about how and why she ran away from home and joined the circus. We don’t even know precisely when she did it. We do get this explanation in “The Beach”:

Ty Lee: Do you have any idea what my home life was like, growing up with six sisters (cut to shot of Ty Lee) who look exactly like me? (she stands up) It was like, I didn't even have my own name. (she falls to the ground crying) I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as part of a matched set. At least, I'm different now. (close shot of teary-eyed Ty Lee) Circus freak is a compliment!

...

Mai: Attention issues. You couldn't get enough attention when you were a kid, so (looking downward) you're trying to make up for it now.

So, as far as we know Ty Lee was severely emotionally neglected in her household and felt particularly devalued due to having 6 identical siblings, and hence ran off to somewhere where she would feel more valued and receive positive attention. Everything here should feel pretty familiar(although I have some ideas about how Ty Lee’s decision to run away might have related to what was going on in the lives of Mai and Azula at the time, but I won’t discuss them here).

Now we turn to the Azula side of the story. People seem to forget this to a degree, but Azula decides to recruit her friends because the royal procession is unwieldly, her guards suck and just had their asses effortlessly kicked by Zuko and Iroh, and hence she needs “ a small, elite team” to accomplish her objectives. Ty Lee and Mai are maybe the 3rd and 4th most powerful individual combatants loyal to the Fire Nation at that point, so Azula’s choice makes a lot of sense. And, of course, Azula is willing to go to extreme lengths to get what she needs for her vital mission, but to some degree that’s outside the scope of what I’m discussing here.

Anyways, let’s turn to Azula and Ty Lee’s reunion. Azula knows exactly where Ty Lee is and has no trouble finding her circus or her, so it seems likely that the two of them have kept in contact to some degree since Ty Lee’s flight. In this engage happens:

Azula: Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?

Ty Lee: Azula!

Ty Lee: It is so good to see you!

Azula: Please, don't let me interrupt your ... [Raises an eyebrow in wonder.] whatever it is you were doing.

Azula: [Glances around.] Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here? [Looks back at Ty Lee.] Certainly our parents didn't send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in ... [Looks to her side.] places like this.

Azula looks as three men are trying to move a platypus bear. The Bear groans and moves up to reveal that it has laid an egg. Azula looks at this in disgust and turns her attention back to Ty Lee, grinning once more.

This is a joyous reunion. Azula struggles to understand why Ty Lee likes being at the circus, but from overall tone of the interaction, it very much seems like Ty Lee didn’t run off behind Azula’s back in the first place(although it’s possible that Ty Lee had not decided on ending up in a circus when she ran away in the first place). Azula also expresses the opinions that the circus is a bad place for Ty Lee to be and that Ty Lee is dishonoring her parents by being there(East Asian cultures traditionally place an enormous importance on filial piety, and Azula seems to buy into this fully).

So we’re looking at a sequence of events where Ty Lee goodbye to Azula(and possibly Mai if Mai is still in Caldera) and explains what she’s doing, runs away from home, and then joins the circus, with Azula knowing where Ty Lee is the whole time and believing that her friend is making a bad mistake.

What’s the significance of this all? Azula is royal, she’s crown princess, and she has substantial power in court, perhaps more than anyone other than Ozai. There’s even an easy argument that she could make to Ozai that Ty Lee is very useful as a sparing partner and has combat skills Azula should pick up. It wouldn’t be hard for Azula to get Ty Lee forbidden from leaving Caldera by order of the Firelord, or to get an imperial order demanding that Ty Lee return home.

We don’t know if Azula actively (if reluctantly) aided Ty Lee running away, or if she merely allowed it. But Azula is someone who easily had the power to force Ty Lee to stay in Caldera or to force Ty Lee to return home, yet she didn’t, even though Ty Lee and Mai are Azula’s only support network.

Moreover, Azula is quite possibly the only authority figure(despite likely being younger. Power differentials are bad for friendships, OK?) who actually legitimately cares about Ty Lee’s wellbeing, yet she witnesses Ty Lee deciding to do something Azula thinks is a horrible mistake, and she lets Ty Lee do it?

It’s starting to look like Azula wasn’t nearly as controlling of her friends pre-canon as people are convinced she was.

[frankierose]

Fuffy for the ship ask?

since you didn't specify any emojis I'm Doing All Of Them. thank you for the ask anon!!

Who's more likely to give flowers, and how does the other feel about it? while i don't really see either of them being the flower type, buffy would be the flower giver i think! faith appreciates them very much (although she thinks they're a little pointless) but would never let buffy know that of course

When baking together, who's the one actually trying to follow the recipe, and who's the one eating all the batter and putting in random ingredients to see what happens? what do you think. faith would be the worst baker in the world ACTUALLY they both would be terrible bakers but buffy would at least try!! faith just wants to mess around and do science experiments and really try to understand why their brownies came out so odd when she put a dozen eggs in them.

Who's the pet person, and who's the one who "didn't want a pet" until they got one? buffy is the pet person and faith is the begrudging, 'doesn't want to admit they're a pet person' person. i can imagine buffy showing up one day with a kitten and faith being like 'dude what the fuck. cats are so much work you gotta buy food and clean up it's litter box why would you do this' - but buffy convinces her to just spend a little time with the kitten and then faith is like

What's each person's favorite way to cuddle? i think faith would love to play with buffy's hair and buffy loves to just. hold faith :'(

How do each of them feel about pet names? buffy's not big on using pet names on faith, but faith uses them EXTENSIVELY on buffy. like, when she's not calling her b, she's calling her sweetheart, gorgeous, etc. buffy doesn't mind at all

Who is more protective/gets jealous more easily? i think buffy is incredibly protective, but not jealous, while faith is incredibly protective AND gets jealous easily. it's an issue that they have talked about extensively and she's working on it!!!

Who's the feral gremlin and who's the "has to physically restrain them from consuming a single milligram of caffeine"? you'd THINK faith would be the gremlin but secretly buffy is. i don't think faith would bother keeping her in check most of the time though i think she'd egg her on LOL dumbasses loving dumbasses

Would they get married? If so, who would propose? What would they wear? i think they would think about it and maybe talk about it but come to the decision together that marriage is kind of contrived and doesn't mean much to either of them. with buffy being a kid of divorce and faith having awful parents i don't think either of them have any interest in it. (but if it DID happen, they'd both propose on accident. and tbh i think either one of them could wear a suit or a dress (i think it'd be cute if faith wore the dress and buffy wore the suit though...))

Who's the first one to try and make up after an argument? buffy. i love faith but the girl is very emotional i don't think she'd be good at apologizing mostly because she'd overthink it and/or become mad again (this is not me projecting totally not at all)

Who realized their feelings first, and were they the first to confess, or did they keep it locked up? faith would realize it first and keep it a secret forever until someone else tells buffy, à la spuffy. i think it'd be cute if faith and dawn had a sort of sibling relationship like spike and dawn do, so maybe faith accidentally spilled the beans to dawn and dawn SWORE to keep it a secret (until she figured telling buffy would be for the greater good, cause goddamn faith would never ever open up)

Who would be more likely to write sappy love poetry for the other? faith. but she'd never EVER show buffy because it's embarrassing and she'd probably think they're bad anyways and she should just throw them away cause they suck

Who dotes on the other more when they're sick? buffy. she'd make soup and always make sure faith stays in bed and cuddle with her when she's feeling really poor!!! and it's adorable and faith hates it cause she can take care of herself but buffy INSISTS she should rest

send me some emojis with a btvs ship and i'll answer your ask!

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Sooo sorry if you've done this before, but what about like a Minecraft Storymode AU? Like maybe with Sparklez, Philza, or other people as the Order of the Stone? Maybe Dream as the Admin in season 2?

Oh god. What have you done. You unlocked the inner Storymode in me. Oh god why.

Alright, first things first. We’re going to pick up the plot, put it in a blender, and throw it off the bridge. We going to maintain some plot but we’re going to do stuff a bit better. Why? Because I want good writing and I also may want some extra angst in here.

Onto ideas in bullet points because I can’t think of anything else and I can’t think of things in long sentences now.

-Tommy, Tubbo, Purpled, and Ranboo are the protagonists of the story. They all live in one treehouse and generally get along

-Tommy and Tubbo are childhood friends and built the treehouse and had discs play when they finished making it :]

-Ranboo just showed up one day with no memory on how he got there. Tommy and Tubbo said friend and let him into the treehouse

-Purpled just showed up one day and he has not stopped showing up ever since that meeting

-They all have some sort of thing associated with them, Tommy has the discs, Tubbo has a bee plush from the Captain, Ranboo has his memory book, and Purpled has a gold chain that used to belong to Punz

-Wilbur, Techno, Phil, the Captain, Eret, and Schlatt are all apart of the Order of the Stone. They all split though after an incident that lead to the Captain and Phil disappearing

-Fundy and Niki are the in the role of Lukas but with some changes. Fundy has daddy issues and is bitter towards Wilbur but is friendly to the kids. Niki is friendly but you can tell she doesn’t like Tommy too much

-Wilbur visits the kids a lot as well as try to go and talk to Fundy. He has to make sure that the four of them doesn’t start a fire and he wants to try and fix his relationship with Fundy

-Techno is the Ivor of the story. He unleashes a Wither and somehow a Wither Storm happens and that wasn’t part of the plan. Holy shit

-We going to go get alternate POVs for Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, and Purpled. They all have different ways to solve a problem. Tommy is going to steal and use violence, Tubbo is going to do things logically, Ranboo is going to try and appeal to a person emotionally, and Purpled would just bribe them. It’s entertaining

-They all have different goals as well. Tommy wants his family back together and getting along like before, Tubbo wants to find what happened to the Captain, Ranboo wants to know why he’s here and what’s missing in his memory, and Purpled just wants to try and move on from and make his (previously thought) deceased brother proud

-Fundy and Niki has accidentally adopted the kids after Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo dragged them all through the Nether Portal as Wilbur and Purpled stalled the Wither Storm. Whoops all found family

-Eret is in the end and just vibing and trying to find a way to get Phil and the Captain back.

-Schlatt has made a fucking business empire and oh boy is it big.

-Everyone has armor and weapons at the start because Purpled gave it to them as a paranoia thing and to protect themselves. So right off the bat, everyone has iron armor and swords. Mid way they get Diamonds and by the end of season one they all have Netherite

-Tubbo made nukes even before the whole story happened. No one knows why and are all scared of him.

-The old Order of the Stone is actually going to get plot beyond the first season for once and we’re going to go have Techno and Schlatt pretty much be the Ivors of the situation and making them go through character development

-The portal plot is still relevant here and you know what that means! It means that I’m going to go and fucking put so many Tales characters and I’m going to go and put the Badlands and Phil in the PAMA world. Or as it now is known, the Egg world.

-I’m conflicted on whether I should have the Murder Mystery be the Village that went Mad or the Masquerade. Maybe both. Yeah I love Ranbutler, Hubert, James, Robin, Catboy and Helga too much. Oh god.

-The Captain is going to be in the PvP tournament world and oh boy is it going to be intense there. However, they did not predict Purpled and Techno’s competitive ability in Bedwars and more

-I am very tempted to go and have Ranbutler and Hubert become main characters as well in this au. I love them but oh god will they fit in the story?

-The Badlands and Karl however are permanent additions to the team now after the group’s portal adventure

-Ranboo and Purpled are getting centric roles in Season 2

-Dream is less of a dick in here but still is one. He doesn’t manipulate kids but he’s still a dick

-Punz is a mercenary and oh boy Purpled punches him when he finds out that he’s alive

-He is also working for Dream but no one knows that so we’re going to have Purpled drag him along and we get sibling angst and we’re going to have them talk about their problems in the future

-Ranboo on the other hand is going to freak out about the fact that he used to work for Dream. It gives him a whole crisis and everything.

-Quackity was from the business empire Schlatt made and is currently making a name for himself in the political area. He is also going to be apart of the plot as him and Karl went and managed to convince Sapnap and George to turn against Dream

-Jack is also going to be dragged into this because of Fundy and Niki telling him that Tommy isn’t all that bad. Then one adventure later he’s in prison because of Tommy. He’ll warm up to him don’t worry

-Sam is the prison warden but is pretty much doing it against his will. Not fun. He tries to help everyone though

[solohux]

happy 2021! i really hope we all have a better year this year but for now, here’s a list of my favourite kylo/hux fics that were published in 2020, ones that got me through days of lonliness and sadness to make me smile ✧

thank you fic writers of the kylux fandom! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

- keep in the dark (to stay out of the light) by howlingshame Modern AU. Smuggler Kylo Ren runs afoul of Armitage Hux, head of the First Order crime ring. Instead of killing him outright, Hux decides to keep him for his own instead. Kylo is none too thrilled with the situation, but Hux has plenty of patience. He wants Kylo to be his in every sense of the word, and they've got all the time in the world. [E, 247k words, warnings for violence, stockholm syndrome, sub kylo & dom hux]

- Please Remember I Love You by @bumblebae8 After murdering Snoke, Kylo Ren flees alongside Rey, returning to the Reistance and to his mother after ten years. They at once begin strategizing on how to take down the corrupt and evil First Order. [M, 65k words, no warnings, redeemed ben, skywalker family drama]

- Children of War by @starryartemis​ After a complicated diplomatic mission went awry, General Hux and Kylo Ren accidentally find themselves tasked with their most difficult mission: becoming parents. Despite their complex relationship, they both agree that raising an offspring will help bring glory to the First Order. Their original vision of a united family quickly falls apart as Hux and Ren cannot see eye to eye in what they want the future to hold. [E, 162k words, warnings for violence, kylux science babies, slow burn]

- I Should Live in Salt for Leaving You Behind by Asrael_Valtiri Of course, he’d betrayed Ren, to save the Order. To save himself and his people.To try to save Ren, in a way.Strange, Hux thought, closing his eyes against the glare of the overhead lighting. He pretended that the wetness escaping the corner of his eye was from the brightness. He failed.Stupid, he amended. Stupid, Armitage. [E, 65k words, no warnings, a TROS fix-it, kylo clones]

- Against All Odds by Kittens              Kylo really doesn't care for people, but he'll always help an animal in need. When he sees a dog covered in mud on a cold, rainy day, he can't help but try to help. What he didn't expect was for the dog to be a fox and the fox to be a man. [E, 49k words, warnings for violence, modern au, fox hux]

- Hadopelagic by DustOnBothSides [WIP] After a life of staying pharmaceutically heat-free, Hux has to allow his body to go through at least one natural cycle, lest there be consequences. He takes a shore leave and travels to a former omegan retreat, abandoned and all but forgotten after the fall of Old Republic. Ren, not knowing of Hux's predicament, decides to follow, suspecting treason. He finds something else instead. [E, 33k words, omega hux & alpha kylo]

- Sup From My Mouth by @atlinmerrick​ [Kylux Adjacent] Dolly Oblonskaya never precisely introduces her old friend to her children’s new tutor, no. She does put one lonely man in a room with the other again and again and again...and to her delight Konstantin Levin and Francisco Garupe take care of the rest. Or, this is the story of how an idealistic young Russian aristocrat helps heal a mourning young Jesuit priest, one very cold Moscow winter. [E, 58k words, no warnings, Fransisco Garupe/Konstantin Levin]

- Lighting the Fuse by hey_honey "What is going on?" Phasma asked when Hux returned from his meeting with Leia looking pale. He stared at her. "The Queen's son agreed to marry a First Order official on one condition," he said. "And?" Phasma encouraged. "That official has to be me," he said. [E, 30k words, no warnings, omega ben & alpha armitage, mpreg, ben is ruler of naboo]

- Across the Stars, I am Home by @venetumdrabbler [WIP] Before leaving to go undercover in the First Order, Armitage Hux had made promises. Keep an eye and report when able to the republic, and later the resistance. Keep tabs on the dark force user Snoke. And most important of all: Bring Ben Solo home. So far Hux had managed, or was managing, 2 out 3. Then there is an awakening. [M, 42k words, no warnings, jedi armitage au, slow burn]

- Pro Nobis Solum by CarelessHux (AraSigyrn)     Kylo Ren wakes after Starkiller.  Alone. [M, 8k words, no warnings, post tfa au, established relationship]

- sisyphus rolls his boulder to the top by yogurtgun     While trying to convince Rey to turn to the Dark on the Steadfast, Kylo feels Hux's presence in the Force disappear. [T, 6.7k words, warnings for violence, tros fix-it, temporary character death]

- i can make your dreams come by claquesous It feels like the small hours of the morning, the blurry in-between Hux calls early and Kylo calls late. “Can’t even make it through the night without a pillow to hump, can you?” Hux sneers. [E, 3k words, no warnings, somnophilia, sub kylo & dom hux]

- Knot Finished by Ki_Ken_Tai_Ichi  Kylo learns a bit more about Arkanis physiology through practical demonstrations. [E, 2k words, no warnings, hux is alien, top hux & bottom kylo]

- 90 Day Fiancé by @bostarsky​ & @sunnywritesstuff​ “Maybe that means you’ll be more inclined to choose me,” Hux hints, glancing over at a drone buzzing by with a sneaky look on his face. Perfect, he’ll create as much support for himself with the public as possible. "What I choose doesn’t matter,” he croons, making it sound as romantic as he possibly can to hide the true meaning of the words. [E, 38.5k words, no warnings, alpha hux & omega kylo, kylo amidala, creepy snoke]

- What if We Tried Again? by @penpenhooray​ Perhaps, but did Pryde bother to check if he was actually dead?Armitage Hux may be many things, but a fool was not one of them. So rather than stay with the First Order and watch it burn, Hux decides that faking his death would be preferable, leaving him free to tie up his one loose end. His ex-husband, Kylo Ren. But what happens when Ren...isn't quite Ren anymore, but just as "dead" as Hux? What happens if they face their feelings surrounding their failed marriage? What if they dared to try again? [T, 2.7k words, no warnings, tros fix-it, mpreg & miscarriage]

- Where Do You Go When You're Lonely? by @vadianna​ Fresh off a grueling undercover mission on an unpleasant Outer Rim planet, Kylo Ren wants to eat, drink, and sleep. Unfortunately, Hux is sitting at the only bar in the area. Thinking that Hux is there to brief him, Kylo soon realizes that Hux is off-duty, and has also never seen him without his helmet on.  Things escalate, and the two wind up finishing Kylo's mission together as they both get to know each other. [E, 29.3k words, no warnings, false identity, bottom kylo & top hux]

- Team Hux or Team Ren? by AdamJensens General Hux overhears a conversation between stormtroopers that opens his eyes to a competition between the troops of the First Order. He discovers his subordinates are not only loyal and devoted but also obsessed – Hux has fans. So does Kylo Ren, and there's a kind of war going on between the two groups calling themselves Team Hux and Team Ren. What Hux doesn't know yet is that there's a third group solely focused on shipping the two co–commanders. There's fanfiction, fanart and all kinds of crazy theories. Shipping, as Hux will soon discover, is a serious business. [E, 11.5k words, no warnings, crack treated seriously, mutual pining]

- Under Covers of Darkness by Camellia Cook (thekurosakiconundrum) Alpha twins Ben and Kylo have a somewhat unusual arrangement with their mate Hux: they're together, all three of them, and it's not strictly a Hux-in-the-middle situation. [E, 3.3k words, no warnings, threesome, sibling incest alpha ben & alpha kylo & omega hux]

- Share the Load by @emperorsvornskr​ Hux runs into Kylo while dealing with his unique Arkanan biology- and Kylo is dealing with some self confidence issues. It's a match tailor made for the both of them. [E, 6.1k words, no warnings, alien armitage hux, trans kylo, eggs]

- Safety in his arms by @redcole​ Kylo knows it's time to bond with Hux, he just wants to make sure that his intentions are clear. After all, it isn't often that an omega courts an alpha. [M, 3.2k words, no warnings, omega kylo & alpha hux, mpreg]

- Horny Hearts by @rattlesnake777​ [Kylux Adjacent] Techie has a new flatmate called Matt and all he can really think about is doing it with him... [E, 18.3k words, no warnings, Clan Techie/Matt The Radar Tech, modern au, misunderstandings]

- Collars and Kisses by koi_boi Kylo loves his little fox and has missed him dearly after a long mission away. Hux, not so much, or so Kylo thinks. Then he actually thinks for once and comes to A Realization™. They fuck, they cuddle, then they get soft and tender. Disgusting. [E, 3.4k, no warnings, fox hux, fluff & smut, dom kylo & sub hux]

- the chancellor's gift by @thethespacecoyote​ Supreme Leader Kylo Ren goes on a mission to retrieve something invaluable for his lightsaber-obsessed chancellor. However, his plans for presenting the treasure to Hux are unfortunately derailed when a group of insurgents kidnap the chancellor and hold him hostage, threatening both Hux's life, and the life of their unborn pup. It seems, even years into their reign, that there are still enemies foolish enough to try to take from Kylo what's his. [M, 5.3k words, warnings for violence, alpha kylo & omega hux, mpreg, protective kylo]

- Entrapped by @kyluxtrashpit​ While searching for a mysterious Force artifact for Snoke, a squadron of Stormtroopers goes missing. Kylo insists on going out alone then, certain he can find and face down whatever might have killed them and succeed in getting the artifact. The creature responsible, however, has other plans for him. [E, 3.4k words, rape/noncon, tentacle sex, protective hux]

- Your Chain Around My Neck by @bastila-s​ After the council meeting about the Sith fleet, Kylo asks Hux to stay behind and "prove" he isn't a spy. [E, 3.6k words, no warnings but dubcon tag, power dynamics, smut, dom kylo & sub hux]

- Regret by @abraxas-drake​ Kylo tries to get Hux to relax under the guise of a work discussion. When things go terribly wrong, Hux must rely on the new Supreme Leader to save his life. [E, 3.8k words, warnings for violence and threats of noncon, alpha kylo & omega hux, protective kylo, forced into heat]

- Invasion by sigo Hux was seated at the long durasteel table in the Steadfast’s largest conference room, Enric Pryde on his left and Mitaka presenting his findings to the group standing on his right, when he felt it: Ren’s hands on his chest, running hot down his skin below his uniform. [E, 2.9k words, no warnings, pwp, bottom hux & top kylo, force sex, semi-public sex]

- In His Grasp by @cosleia​ Kylo Ren doesn't understand why General Hux is shirking his duty over a simple injury. When he tries to find out, though, he learns more than he bargained for...about the general, and about himself. [M, 4.1k words, post-tlj, pining, hand-feeding]

- Heat Sink by @sparrows-trashcan​ Kylo Ren is an omega but so is General Hux. While Hux doesn't mind everyone knowing that his preference is limited to male omegas Kylo Ren is shamed to feel the same. Everything changes after the Starkiller incident: Kylo Ren is in heat and there is only one person on the Finalizer who could possibly help him... [E, 4.2k words, no warnings, omega hux & omega kylo, smut]

- Distraction by @kyluxtrashpit​ Kylo needs a distraction from his hopeless pining over his co-commander, who he's sure he can never have. So he turns to the Knights of Ren to keep his mind - and body - busy. When Hux walks in on the events, however, Kylo learns that perhaps his feelings aren't a lost cause after all. [E, 3.6k words, no warnings, kylo/knights of ren, group sex]

- Between the Stars by Kittens The Finalizer's medical team does not want to deal with Kylo Ren. When he ends up injured during a mission, it's up to Hux to take care of him. It's not exactly what Hux is good at, but for Kylo it means everything. [T, 3.9k words, no warnings, hurt/comfort, bathing]

- Switch Up, Love Eternal by @onewhositswiththeturtles​ When Ren damages consoles aboard the Finalizer during a tantrum, Hux summons him for some much-deserved discipline. Perhaps there would be some hope for Ren learning the error of his ways if he wasn't such a whore for punishment. [E, 3.4k words, no warnings, dom/sub switching, smut]

- Across the Stars (To Find You) by Lady_Faulkner While on a mission for Snoke, Kylo Ren gets kidnapped by pirates and it's up to General Hux to track him down and rescue him before he's sold on the black market. Along the way, Hux discovers that his feelings of hatred for Kylo Ren have been masking another emotion altogether. [E, 10.9k, no warnings, kidnapping, hurt kylo]

- Doom's Desire by @nerdherderette​ Hux never expected to find a jewel worthy of the Empire's crown in an Outer Rim desert wasteland. [E, 10.3k words, no warnings, canon au, gladiator fighter kylo, emperor hux]

- Empire Day Miracle by coldashes         Kylo just wants to relax, to be surrounded by people is to be surrounded by the Force. Except this is the First Order's Empire Day officer party and things never go as well as one would hope. [E, 4.4k words, no warnings, pwp, identity mistakes, pre-tfa]

- Reptile Husbandry by koi_boi Hux is an accomplished researcher who's having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time in the field. He stumbles into a cave filled with secrets and one very large, very curious snake. Hux gets fucked in more ways than one. [E, 13.4k words, no warnings, modern/fantasy au, naga kylo & researcher hux, smut]

- Utapaun Christening by @mcducklet-blog​ Kylo Ren is determined to ensure that his children are the strongest creatures in the galaxy. Armitage Hux is willing to go along with it.Neither of them is ready for what that entails. [T, 6.6k words, no warnings, mpreg, knights of ren, peril]

- so it goes by @msbyjckals​ [WIP] Hux wakes to feel a pair of warm, calloused hands covering his. He doesn’t remember much, just the mission brief, the landing, and the cold. [M, 2.9k words, no warnings, starkiller rescue]

- Rumor Mill by @theweddingofthefoxes​ Everybody has their own suspicions about what Kylo Ren and General Hux get up to in private, but the truth is far more tender than anyone would guess. [G, 1.2k words, no warnings, fluff, cuddling]

- The One with the Eggs by sigo                 Hux turned on his heel, but hardly made it two steps before running straight into Kylo Ren. He knew his face betrayed his dismay. He didn’t have time for this. “I apologize, Ren, but I must be on my way.” Hux stepped to the side and Ren stepped in front of him again. Hux shivered as he felt another dropping sensation inside himself. This time the ‘drop’ completed its path — the inside of his pants was wet, cold gel trickling at a glacial pace down his thighs. Of course, that was nothing compared to what lay ahead. “Ren,” He said sharply. His voice was higher, raising in pitch the way it always did when he was panicked. “I am ill. Let me through.” Ren spoke through his ridiculous helmet, voice distorted. “We have a meeting.” [E, 4.8k, no warnings, alien hux, eggs, bottom kylo & top hux]

- Shadow Of Your Heart by @pangolinpirate​ & @redcole​ & @starkillersbae​ [WIP] After the fall of the empire Luke Skywalker fought a rising evil in the outer rim, a villain named Snoke who tormented his young nephew. With Snoke defeated, Leia sent her son to be trained as part of the new order of jedi, in the hopes that it would keep him safe. [E, 22.7k words, no warnings, omega kylo & alpha kylo, mpreg]

- Clear From Far Away by @pizzzazlut​ “But most of all, curse Kylo bloody Ren for having a chest that sparked pure, unadulterated arousal that has Hux humping his pillow like a fucking virgin.” Or the one where Hux is just trying to get off but his Supreme Leader just won't leave him alone. [E, 1.8k words, no warnings but dubcon, pillow humping]

- Tripped Over A Mouse Droid by @milarca​ & @ranebowstitches​ Hux gets injured while working, and Kylo finds him in the medbay. Who knew mouse droids could be so dangerous? [G, 3k words, no warnings, hurt/comfort, alpha kylo & omega hux]

- with you by @msbyjckals​ “You know I love you, right?” Ren said. “Of course I know that, I’ve always had you; you’ve always been mine.” [T, 1k words, no warnings, sleepy cuddles, soft domestic fluff]

- Unexpected Avenues by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof​ [WIP, Mitaka/Hux] No one wanted to take this particularly grisly task, but Dopheld is glad it fell to him when he realises that all is not as it seems. Can he make a new life on the run with his ex, now that everything he thought he knew has been turned upside down? [E, 84k words, omega hux & alpha kylo & alpha mitaka, mpreg, post-tros]

- Who Needs The Galaxy When There's You? by Mesmeret         Kylo is a simple, lonely smuggler with no one since his accident a decade ago. Or so he thought before his twelve year old daughter retrieves him to help out his long forgotten husband with a bothersome heat. [E, 7.7k words, no warnings, alpha kylo & omega hux, amnesia, smuggler kylo & mandalorian hux]

- By the Will of the Gods by @darktenshi17​ Armitage is chosen to be a sacrifice to his gods in return for his village's protection. It's not the gods who find him out in the woods. [E, 1.9k words, no warnings but dubcon, fantasy/medieval au,

- The Fall of Yesterday by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof​  [WIP] Seven years after Exegol, a nameless sailor works a thankless job onboard an Arkanis pearl harvester and fails to forget all the things he has lost. When the ship arrives at a new port all he wants to do is find a place to sleep through his shore leave. He might find more than that. [E, 10k words, no warnings, tros fix-it, alpha kylo & omega hux]

- Special Delivery by DaisyChainz Hux orders a toy that's supposed to be 'discreetly packaged', but when his hot mailman brings it directly to his front door, he finds out it is definitely not. [E, 3.3k words, no warnings, modern au, smut]

- Most Wanted by @pizzzazlut​ When the most prolific serial killer the city of Arkanis has ever seen is finally arrested and awaiting trial, it takes two of the cities most respected lawyers to represent the culprit and the victims. The only problem is that Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux haven't interacted since law school and will now have to work against each other to win the career-building case of a lifetime. Or The one where Kylo and Hux are rival lawyers with too much history but an equal amount of hate for Snoke. [E, 12.6k words, warnings for violence, modern au, murders and blood]

- Devotion by @kyluxtrashpit​ The Emperor loves to hear about his devoted hound's successful missions, ideally in as much detail as possible. Kylo does not disappoint. [E, 1.9k, no warnings, smut, emperor hux & hound kylo]

- three's a crowd by @thethespacecoyote​ Ren Prime catches Ben sneaking a First Order cadet onboard, and decides an unorthodox kind of punishment is in order. [E, 1.4k words, no warnings, ren prime, smut, voyeurism]

- If we have each other (the world is ours to conquer) by                    thereisnocowboyemoji “You think, what, that I have feelings for her?” “Please, Ren, do not dare try to insult my intelligence.” [G, 1.3k, no warnings, married kylux, mpreg, jealousy]

- In the Vents by @kyluxtrashpit​ Hux returns from his shift to find the bottom half of Kylo sticking out of the heating vent. Kylo is stuck and Hux isn't one to let opportunities pass him by. [E, 2k words, no warnings, pwp]

- the monster in your bed by @thethespacecoyote​ In the dead of night, something terrifying and lascivious comes to a sleeping General Hux. [E, 2k words, no warnings, consensual noncon roleplay, sub hux & dom kylo]

- Old Hornington Rides Again by oorsprong “Don’t be vulgar.” Of course he remembered. The embarrassing nickname had somehow become part of the whole taboo. Sex in the conference room in the early hours; Hux naked but for his boots and his hat and taunting Kylo with dirty talk. Kylo worshiped his cock in those days, treated it with reverence. “I could do it again.” [E, 1.3k words, no warnings, smut, old married kylux]

- His Purpose by partialresonance When Hux hears Snoke's voice in his mind, he thinks it's a caffeine hallucination. Until the voice plants an insidious purpose that Hux has no choice but to fulfill. Thankfully, Kylo is there to save him. Little does he know that the sinister presence was targeting him all along. [M, 5.6k words, no warnings, suicide attempt, mind manipulation, love confessions]  

- Mariner’s Hollo by Eirean Whilst on a diplomatic mission, Kylo is invited to take part in the planet’s ancient ritual, and demands that the Grand Marshall accompany him. Said Grand Marshall is deeply unimpressed by the whole thing. [E, 9.7k words, no warnings, enemies to lovers, smut]

- Let It Happen by @pizzzazlut​ Armitage Hux re-analyzed all his life choices up to this point and could not come up with anything as careless as this. Or the one where Ren joins Kylo and Hux in bed because he doesn't like being left out. [E, 2k words, ren prime, threesome]

- Come On And Slam by @thediktatortot​ Hux and Kylo invite Ren Prime into their chambers and get more than they bargain for. [E, 1.9k words, no warnings, ren prime, threesome]

- A Passing Madness by moreless “It’s a gift,” says Ren simply, folding his large hands behind his back. His gaze moves between the lightsaber and Hux. “It used to belong to the Jedi traitor Mace Windu. It reminded me of you.” Two steps forward, one step back. Another step back. That's how their relationship works. Even now. [T, 1.9k words, no warnings, duel of the fates au, power dynamics]

- Our Impeccable Leadership by roseofgalaxies The Supreme Leader and his treacherous General have begun to collaborate with unexpected success. There's only one problem: Ren's stopped wearing a shirt. [E, 4.8k words, no warnings, lego holiday special, body worship]

- Giving In by Kyram (BrokenApril) Hux has a mission. Millions of lives are on the line, yet Ren's presence teases him. He's desperate to give in even if his job will become all the harder. [T, 2.2k words, no warnings, touch starvation, force sensitive hux]

- to lay your armor down by surrenderer Once in a while, the Supreme Leader likes to wear his Chancellor’s greatcoat around the Capitol building. [M, 661 words, no warnings, role reversal, force sensitive hux & force null kylo]

- Benefits of Force Sensitivity by Kittens After the surprising change in his relationship with Ren, Hux has a lot to think about. But they also have a mission to complete and that may have unintended consequences. [M, 4.3k words, no warnings, force sensitive hux, cuddling]

[idkwriteshitdown]

Their Refrigerator Looked Like it Belonged to the Proud Mom of a Six Year Old Child.

Summary: The Hargreeves siblings adjust to living together in the future.

Words: 1229

(ao3 link)

---

It started off as a joke. Diego had drawn a particularly unflattering picture of Five after he flashed halfway down the stairs, fell down the rest of them, threw up and passed out on the foyer.

The picture in question was a crude drawing of a small figure dressed in the Umbrella Academy uniform lying on the floor with a bottle of alcohol next to it. There was also drawn on the ground a puddle of what was probably vomit. To top it all off there were stink lines coming off everything in the picture as well as a speech bubble that said, “I am stupid” written in blocky letters. Diego was very proud of his work. The next morning while his siblings were eating breakfast and Five was nursing his hangover with coffee Diego was finishing his masterpiece.

“Yah know Di,” Klaus said looking over his shoulder. “You’ve got some promise.”

“Thank you.” Diego said tongue sticking out in concentration as he shaded in the background.

Luther looked over the table at the paper. “I like the stink lines,” He said through a mouthful of eggs.

“Ew that’s gross. Close your mouth.” Klaus said as he shoved a piece of toast in his mouth.

“What? You have food in your mouth right now.” Luther pointed. “Do you not see how hypocritical that is?”

“Both of you guys are disgusting.” Allison walked over putting out a plate of bacon. Luther wilted while Klaus laughed snagging one from the plate. “What are you drawing? Oh my gosh is that Five?” Allison giggled covering her mouth.

Five, who had been sipping his coffee and pointedly ignoring the conversation surrounding his more juvenile brothers looked up. “Is that who?” He popped over to Diego before grasping his head in pain. Swearing under his breath he grabbed on to the back of Diego’s chair straightening himself up and looked at the picture. The siblings waited in silence to see his reaction.

Five frowned. “What the fuck.” He lunged for the paper but Diego pushed himself out of the seat and held it out of reach. “Give it here.” He growled. 

“No.” He said backing up. “Dr. Huffman said that I should practice drawing out my feelings. You’ll just destroy it.” 

Dr. Huffman was his therapist. Actually Dr. Huffman was all of their therapists. Shortly after arriving back to the present day Vanya suggested that they all go see a therapist. ‘Dad had done a number on all of us and a therapist would be good for all of us to work out our issues,’ she had said. There was a lot of push back from the members of the family. Five thought there was nothing wrong with him. Klaus thought there was nothing that could be done that court mandated therapy didn’t already do. Luther was scared that they would bring up his now dead relationship with his sister. And Diego really didn’t want to see a therapist again. He had his introduction with the guys in the asylum in ‘63 and while he wasn’t scared he never wanted to see one again. 

In the end it was Allison who first agreed to therapy. It was the shaming, guilting, and pestering that finally got the others to trickle in after her. Luther was easy to convince. He’d do almost anything Allison told him to do. Klaus was next. Turns out having your dead brother be actually dead did not do wonders for your mental health. Vanya got Five to come, who after finding out over half his siblings were seeing the same doctor, became paranoid that they were talking about him. Diego held out the longest. It took being tricked into a group therapy session for him to agree. It was also the fact that one of his siblings ratted him out to Al who said he’d kick him out of the gym if he didn’t start therapy. 

Diego didn’t like therapy and he found out quickly that his stutter came back full force when ever he had to speak about the events of his childhood, much to his embarrassment. Therefore most of the sessions were spent with him stubbornly not talking. The drawing his feelings thing was a new method that Dr. Williams was having him try.

“Come on Diego. I just want to see a closer look at your drawing.” Five gave what was supposed to be a sweet smile but came off as frighteningly evil. 

“I’ll draw you a new improved one with more detail,” Diego teased. He had slowly relocated himself to the other side of the table. 

Five jumped up on the table and there was shrieking as the others grabbed their plates and saved what food they could. “Give me that picture,” He shouted.

“Never.” Diego ran.

“What is going on here?”

Everyone froze. “Good morning mom.” They chorused in unison.

“Good morning dears.” She smiled at them. “Five, you know you aren’t supposed to be standing on the table. Now what was all this noise about?” 

Five straightened out his clothes and, with all the pose of the 58 year old man he was not acting like, stepped down off the table. “Diego was just about to show me this lovely picture he drew.” he walked over the two.

Grace looked at Diego who suddenly found his shoes very interesting. “You drew a picture? Let me see.”

Klaus snickered and Diego glared at him. “I don’t really think you need to see it.” He said. “It’s not that good.”

“Nonsense. I’m sure you’re a great artist.” She smiled at him and Five smiled smugly as Diego reluctantly handed the sheet of paper to her. “Oh this is a great drawing sweetie.”

“What?!” echoed through the room. 

“Mom? Did you see what he drew?” Five asked incredulously.

“Lay off Five.” Diego beamed. “Obviously I’m a great artist. Isn’t that right Mom?”

“My little Picasso.” She reached up to ruffle Diego’s hair. “I think this would go great on the fridge don’t you think.”

Across the room the three other siblings had descended into poorly concealed laughter.

“Mom. You can’t be serious.” Five followed them to the fridge. “You aren’t going to put that on there are you?” “Yes I am. I love all the things my children create.” She placed a magnet on top of the picture and then straightened it out. Beside her Diego stuck his tongue out at him. “I better not see you remove this either. Maybe with that up there it’ll serve as a reminder for you to watch your drinking.” 

The room went silent. Five watched open mouth as she left the room. Seconds later laughter erupted. 

“Holy shit bro. She got you good.” Luther gasped, hunched over his food.

“Serve as a reminder? Who knew Mom was such a savage?” Klaus laughed from his spot on the floor.

“I’m sure Dr. Williams can help you work through that absolute betrayal you faced.” Allison said between giggles.

Five closed his mouth and glared at Diego who was looking at him with a shit eating grin. “This is not over”.

“Hey guys.” Vanya walked in with a yawn. She opened the fridge pulling out a bottle of orange juice. “What’s so funny?” she asked. She closed the fridge and stepped back towards the table before pausing and turning around again. “Is that Five?”

[purplesurveys]

1269

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? OMG OMG so I got Angela an Army Bomb!!!!!! for her birthday!!!! It was HELLLL looking for sealed ones that were already onhand, but fortunately I was able to find one from this really nice seller a few days ago and the shipping was quick as well. I’m just a little worried because the outbox has a little dent on it :( but it was the best onhand offer I could find so I got it before anybody could call dibs. I still hope she likes it! I got her batteries too so that she can try lighting it up as soon as she has it. :D

Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)?  I feel like this is such a petty thing to make a big deal about...if they knew how to commute or any other way to get to their destination, I don’t think this should be a problem. It would only be an issue to me if they refused to get a license in a very I-generally-lack-ambition kind of way.

How would you react if your artwork became famous?  I don’t have any to show off to begin with. I love appreciating art, but creating it was never a forte of mine.

Would you get your nipples pierced?  No, I don’t plan on getting any piercings. How many people know your birthday?  Outside of my family, my best friends. I think everyone else relies on Facebook to be reminded, which is fine with me.

Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?  No. Quite the contrary, really...I was sometimes informed about red flags taking place, which of course my stubborn ass ignored.

Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial?  Probably, as a kid. The channel from which I used to watch WWE aired these really long infomercials so I would watch those while waiting for like Raw or whatever show was going on after.

What is your current MySpace song?  I never hung out on Myspace. I had an account, but I was too young for it so it wasn’t long before I got bored.

What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich?  Pulled pork or fried chicken.

Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with?  I only have one ex.

How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I find it really cute. But I personally wouldn’t put in as much effort lol.

Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins?  Hmmmmmmmm I don’t think so.

What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? She threatened suicide in front of me and my dad in a very calm way when I was around 11, I think? Maybe 12, idk. I haven’t actually thought about that moment in an extremely long time until this question. I’ll move on now and shove the memory at the very very back of my head before I get sad.

Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it?  Aside from members of BTS (lol), interior design inspirations.

Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike?  Ooh, love. When I bite into a cookie it hassssss to ooze chocolate, otherwise I would be underwhelmed.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them?  Support.

Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful?  They both are.

Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on?  Anything that has to do with writing (except poems), I guess? I like being able to give people advice and tips when it comes to that.

When was the last time you got all dolled up?  Last July when we had a big PR media launch thingy and I couldn’t afford to look like shit on Zoom.

Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.)  Never.

Do you have a criminal record?  Not criminal but it’s possibleeeee that I have some kind of record on my license from the time I got stopped by an officer in Alabang, lmao. It was a minor offense from a tiny part of the town so I don’t actually know if they filed it, but it’s possible.

Last person you took a nap with?  I don’t really nap with other people. I hate falling asleep in front of others to begin with.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well?  No.

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?  I don’t like anybody.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?  No, I do not want to stay in a pandemic and not get to maximize my life the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed forever.

Have you ever been to craigslist.com?  I’ve never checked it out; idk if we have that here?

What about eBay?  I also dunno if they operate here so no, I’ve never bothered.

Have you ever used Nair?  Not Nair, but I’ve used Veet before.

Are you medicated?  Nope.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows?  I never do stuff to my eyebrows except shave them.

Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex?  Several articles of clothing were left behind here, yeah. I never had the chance to give them back because I stupidly thought we were going to get back together eventually. By the time I moved on the timing was already off, so the clothes stayed with me untillll...just a few days ago, actually – when I finally cleaned up my room and got rid of a bunch of knickknacks that accumulated here over the years, including all her shirts and sweaters and stuff.

Could you make a statement about anything political?  The 2022 presidential election landscape looks like complete shit and I’m nearly at that point where I want to stop giving a fuck about this country’s future.

Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate?  No.

Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon?  I think I’m already living in it, haha.

Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche?  Sure, but cliché is also hit and miss for me. I love Titanic and Love Actually, but I cannot stand movies like Me Before You and The Notebook. I guess it depends on certain executions, like the acting, screenplay, casting, etc.

Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month?  No, not inside. We did drive-thru within the last month, though.

Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house?  Not at Andi’s, but I have at Angela’s.

How often do you go bowling?  Extremely rarely. I can’t tell you the last time I went bowling.

Last time you were in an apartment?  Like 2007 when I visited my aunt back when she still lived in one. None of my friends have their own apartments.

Have you ever seen a live seahorse?  I don’t think so.

Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. < Same.

Winnie the Pooh or Tigger?  Tigger always made me laugh as a kid.

What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today?  Luncheon meat, I think? I didn’t go overboard with the junk food today.

Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink?  Hm, not that I can recall.

What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot?  A bag of the salted egg chips that I really like costs like 30 bucks, or roughly 60 US cents.

What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to?  I don’t have any irl crushes, can I use a celebrity crush instead? HAHA he’s heavily into jazz and whenever he gets asked for music recos he always gives jazz artists from like the 50s and 60s.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were?  Gab. Dark brown.

Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? The Big Bang Theory and Friends; and then I also liked humming to the themes of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and BoJack Horseman. The Phineas & Ferb theme was also a lot of fun to sing along to.

Do you eat dessert after dinner? No, I never do that. I’m usually already full after dinner, and we don’t always have sweets at home anyway.

Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day?  Sure.

When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink?  Cocktails. I very rarely go for hard drinks/shots, especially if I brought my own car.

What was the last animal that you saw?  Dog.

What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings?  I just told my sister I was done using her laptop so she can have it back. My Memories of 2020 DVD turned out to be region-locked so I have to use her laptop every time I want to watch it :(

What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for:  My Map of the Soul photobook cost me around 5k in total.

What is your favorite messaging program?  Messenger.

Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week?  Wow no. Aside from being extremely unhealthy, that’s also a LOT of spending??

Have you ever almost drowned?  Yes.

Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook?  I mean I’ve had to learn about more than one family death through my Facebook feed, which sucks but is nothing I have control over. Otherwise the most shocking thing I’ve seen is probably classmates from high school having their own kids, but at this point I’m used to it already.

What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted?  I’m not really afraid of carrying/petting animals especially if there’s a guide or expert nearby, but the most daring one was probably the crocodile I volunteered to hold in Palawan.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for?  Not at all.

Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why?  I hate Mondays for obvious reasons lol. I don’t know anyone who is actively cheery about reporting back to work.

If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it?  I never eat oatmeal. I had that every single day for breakfast from like kindergarten to 4th grade and I vowed never to take a spoonful of it again.

What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep?  I dunno. I used to keep a log of the things my ex used to say in her sleep and a great deal of them were hilarious, but obviously I deleted that note a long time ago.

Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers:  Butterfinger.

Do you use Mozilla Firefox? Nopes.

Who is your favorite person to hug? Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever had to have a mug shot?  Nope.

What was the last thing you carried to your room?  Kimi.

When was the last time you had a late night phone call?  WELL over a year ago.

[crqstalite]

do it for us. [mind blind]

HA yes I’m back again. With, unsurprisingly, more angst for Carmen Wiseman. Sort of sequel to do it for them, where Carmen gets some actual emotional help. Sort of.

carmen wiseman (they/them pronouns) + nick wiseman + salome alavidze. chapter 5 spoilers. words: 1,784

-

Black polish? Really button? Not even a little color?

Carmen groans, while Sally paints their last pinky toe black. No, they’re happy with the pitch black instead of something brighter. Matched their soul at least. The whiskey’s bitter while they sip out of it from a mug, and Nick had already berated them over drinking it, but at least it’s a good indicator of just how well they’re coping. They could’ve gone for the really hard stuff.

That’s not comforting, at all.

Comforting or not, no one said you had to comment either, Carmen thinks back before taking another sip out of the cup, the amber liquid burning the back of their throat, but otherwise numbing the sharper edges at the back of their mind. They’re better than they were when they were first in the hospital, sitting next to Nick’s bed with guilt drowning them like a tidal wave, but that didn’t mean that their emotions were making it any easier to process what was going on. Everything since then has been a blur. The Pollard Five is a welcome surprise, but something about it feels so...wrong. Like they don’t deserve it. Like they lost far too much to get it.

They’re not even sure they want it anymore, not after everything that’s happened.

At least have fun with Sally, after the days you’ve had, you deserve it. Though, you don’t have to be drunk to do it either, Nick responds back. His tone is getting testy, that much they know and it hurts them a little. He didn’t like them drinking, even when he was corporeal. Still, Button, it’s okay not to be okay. This isn’t my favorite situation either. But having an alcohol addiction as a newly minted adult and trainee MIV isn’t a great look. Or healthy.

I didn’t ask you for your opinion, Nicholas, They respond, their hands quivering when Sally hands them the remote. It isn’t as if one glass of whiskey was going to turn them into an addict, but they can’t really say they don’t like the taste. Better than what they’d had earlier at the cafe at least.

Fine, fine. I’m only saying, Nick answers.

Sally’s asking which movie to watch, maybe about Glitch in between titles.

Glitch.

Their cheeks warm at the thought of the man who’d held they in his arms this afternoon. It was nice. Very nice. The kiss he’d planted on their lips they’re still thinking about now. It’s the happiest they’ve been since...ever. He’d managed to loosen the tight ball of anxiety that’d wrapped itself around them for the few hours they’d been together.

And yet, when they split, they still felt cold. So cold. Their fingers are freezing, they can’t sit still. A flash of warmth flickers over their body, a cold sweat seeping into their clothes as they try to wrap their arms around each other.

Nick. Hooked up to too many machines for them count. Still. Not moving.

“Can I leave already?”

They almost left the hospital without visiting. At first, they hadn’t felt bad about the thought. They were tired, had been since then. The sirens had stayed in their head, ringing in their ears like an alarm. The antiseptic stuck to them, even after they left the hospital. All the wires, all the tests. The hushed talking, the grim outlooks.

Nick. Closed gray eyes. No jokes. No nagging them for being overly morbid.

Carmen...

It almost felt like they were watching themselves in the hospital room. They couldn’t bring any tears to spill down their cheeks like any distraught sibling should’ve been able to. They couldn’t bring themselves to want to stay any longer, like they should’ve. They couldn’t bring themselves to be the way they should’ve been, with their brother nearly dead and not even breathing on his own.

Nick. Blonde hair limp against the pillow instead of billowing in the wind when they went out together. Pale skin paler than it ever should’ve been.

He couldn’t squeeze their hand back, like when they were younger, and he would squeeze their’s to tell them that he loved them. They waited so long for him to.

Nick.

Their brother. The one who finished raising them.

They’re shaking now. They can’t get that image of Nick, their Nick, their big brother, their everything, on the brink of death out of their head. They can hear the machines again, they can hear the ambulance’s whine again.

They can hear that explosion again. Blinding, loud. Their phone had cracked.

Taking their brother with it.

A stove-in chest injury.

Trying to put the nearly empty mug on the coffee table, Carmen unfurls themself.

Nick was in a coma. And he’d just barely survived.

Instead of landing on the glass pane, it slips out of their grasp and falls to the ground shattering into a million pieces.

“Carmen!” Sally jumps from where she’d been sitting, removing her feet from the ground and turning to look at them with wide, worried hazel eyes meeting theirs, “Too much to drink?”

They feel more sober than they had been five minutes ago. Painfully so. Everything’s too clear. The TV is blinding them. The fabric of their shirt is rubbing against them painfully, their hair brushing the nape of their neck like nails.

Their toenails are barely dry. Some of it has smeared on their pant legs.

Their chest heaves before they let out a sob, tears filling their eyes and a loud cry filling the room, “I’m sorry!”

Sally looks bewildered, before carefully picking her way across the couch to wrap her arms around Carmen, “Hey, hey, it’s just a mug! We can replace it before Nick comes back.”

It isn’t just the mug. They couldn’t give a flying fuck about the mug.

It’s all their fault. They shouldn’t have left Nick with an angry goodbye, they shouldn’t have let their last words to him have been so hostile. They should’ve just taken the damn crockpot, they should’ve been nicer to him that morning. They should’ve just accepted the damn eggs and hot sauce, they should’ve been better.

They’re the failure here, the crack in the mug.

Button-

Their thoughts are only getting louder and more out of control. Their sobs only match it, growing louder and louder until they can barely breathe, their eyes burning and tears wetting Sally’s shirt.

“Carmen?” Sally asks, trying to soothe them by rubbing their back, “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not!” They exclaim back, and Sally flinches at their tone, “Nick is gone because of me!”

“No he’s not!” Sally replies forcefully, gently pushing Carmen off of them to hold them by their shoulders, “This isn’t your fault, none of it is!”

“He’s my brother! It should’ve been me in that hospital bed, not him! He didn’t deserve this!”

Button!

Carmen only cries harder, Nick’s louder tone making them wince.

I don’t blame you for this, none of it! Whoever the hell did this, that’s on them, not you. Whether we argued this morning or over the phone call, that doesn’t matter and it doesn’t mean you should’ve taken this one for the team. You’re my sibling, and I love you no matter what happens.

I got you nearly killed!

Nick goes quiet, formulating a response before continuing. His tone is calm, but shaking just as much as their’s is. Maybe he doesn’t believe it as much as he tries to pass it off that he does, If that were the case, you’d be down at the police station. But you’re not, because you aren’t responsible. Sure, we press each other’s buttons, but that doesn’t make you the culprit for an accident that is probably the fault of some messed up terrorist, He pauses for a moment, Button, I’m still alive and mostly conscious because of you.

It’s going to be okay.

Is it? Will it ever be? There are so many unknowns and they’re scared.

Sally holds them like that for a while, until their breathing begins to slow. Nick reassures them and comforts them through the rest of it. The credits roll when they finally unstick themselves from her. 

They’re a little disgusted with themselves, they don’t cry. They never do. Nor do they ever have outbursts like this. They shouldn’t. They don’t want to be here anymore, not with their eyes puffy and red and tears still wet on their cheeks that they hesitate to wipe away.

You can’t hold onto all that grief by yourself, Carmen, Nick says, It’s okay to have emotions.

“We -- you, me and Nick -- we’re going to figure this out. You know we will,” Sally gives them a sad, but soft smile, “We’re a team, remember? And this,” She gestures to the pair of them, “Is a team sport.”

She’s got a point, Nick assures them, Can’t exactly get rid of your teammates.

Carmen hates relying on people, they let her down more often than not. They hated team sports as it was.

Okay, well, you get the point, button.

They take a shaky breath, glancing at the shards of glass on the floor, “I know. I’m sorry for...everything.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I would’ve been afraid if you stayed all cool and brooding all evening,” Sally jokes, before steadying her tone, “If you ever need to vent like that again, you can. Always. I’m here for you.”

“I couldn’t put that on you. Besides, there are bigger issues now, with Aeon targeted and all, and I can’t shield you anymore.” I couldn’t burden you with my problems. Don’t ask me to. I can’t. It hurts.

“Yes, you can. And you should. As many times as you’ve heard me complain and vent, I think you’re long overdue to do it yourself,” Sally says. She squints at Carmen critically, “You’re doing that thing again where you’re trying to deflect away from the real problem.”

“What?”

“Sure, Aeon was targeted. But y’know what else? That took a toll on you. And that’s fine. The shielding issue, we can figure that out, but I know you’ve been carrying around so much of...all this for so long. Promise me you won’t do it again? I hate seeing you in pain like this.”

She’s asking a lot. Twenty one years and only know they’re supposed to dump the protective habit they’d cultivated all those years ago? Sally knew them better than anyone, she knows how they are. She knows that they can’t just change like that. They’ve never been mentally healthy, ever, and yet...

It is a lot, and I know you can’t get rid of it all that easy. Though I don’t think she’s asking for you to give it up cold turkey, Nick explains, Can you try though? Try, and do it for us?

Nick’s hopeful voice. Sally’s equally hopeful expression.

They let go of a shaky, wet breath.

“I can try.”

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 8, I Heard a Rumor.

This episode is particularly brutal. Warnings include child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, gore, and manipulation. Keep yourself safe.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

The Day That Was

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything. I am not taking this seriously. At all. 

I Heard a Rumor

Stormy Weather by Etta James. I adore this song. When I first watched the show I was so happy when this song came on.-1

I am also taking a sin off for the Emmy Raver-Lampman version -1

It looks like Allison genuinely adores her daughter. And Claire’s bedroom? I would want to have that room now and I am at least ten years older than her. -1

Speaking of, how old is Claire? Sin until we have answers. +1

The animations for the story of The Umbrella Academy defeating the robbers at the museum. -2

“While your Uncle Klaus got a little distracted.” What did Klaus do on missions again? +1

Allison carefully censors the mission so she is still telling the truth but doesn’t actually say that Diego used knives or that Ben used the horror to (presumably, we don’t know how much control Ben had) kill four people. Good job. See Reggie, this is how you don’t traumatise your kid with violence. -1

“Their leader.” Looks suspiciously like a villain from the comics. -1

“I wanna hear the one about the Eiffel tower.” Me too, Claire. Especially since the magazine clips we see suggest Five was there this time. -1

Mind control. ON A CHILD. This is what bothers me the most about Allison as a character and I am glad that she is moving past it. However, in no universe can I let this go. Depending on how Allison used it, Claire’s emotional control could be fucked for life. +40

Patrick behaves like a rational human being and doesn’t blow up at Allison for this in front of their child. He also divorces her in order to keep said child safe. Good. -1

“I heard a rumor you love me.” Who did she say this to? It doesn’t matter who, it’s still disturbing, but oh dear God who did she say this to? I think this is the second most fucked up thing we hear Allison say after the rumoring Claire scene. +10

Allison is going 120 kmh, or 75 mph, in the rain. If you have ever driven a car in the rain then you know exactly why I am sinning this. For those who don’t know, google hydroplaning. Allison could have died here very, very easily. +3

Title screen on a billboard! I forgot how cool the episode 8 title screen was. -1

Allison doesn’t bring her proof with her when going to confront Vanya, who has been shown to be irrational when it comes to Leonard. +1

Bird jumpscare. +1

“They want me to come back tomorrow be fitted for a prosthetic eye”. Leonard places emphasis on the words “prosthetic eye” to remind the viewers that Leonard is bad news. Good acting choice. -1

Leonard’s clothes look freshly bloody when the blood should be several hours old and therefore a more rusty brown color than a bright red. I think. I don’t know if that’s how it works with such large amounts of blood. +1

Luther’s bed is now magically big enough to fit both him and the rave girl. +1

Luther’s reaction to the rave girl. Rewatch this scene to get such a laugh at Luther’s face. -1

How out of it was Luther vs the rave girl? Consent issues on both sides. +3

Luther treated the rave girl to some wine? Or cranberry juice? How thoughtful. -1

I really, really hope they were safe though. There is no evidence to imply they were safe. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re too young to be watching TUA). +1

Klaus is such a little shit. “Wakey wakey! Eggs and bakey!” while ringing the bell. Peak sibling culture is doing this sort of thing while knowing that the other sibling is NOT going to appreciate it. Also, Klaus deserves his revenge after last night. -1

The little wave the rave girl gives Klaus. -1

Go back and watch this scene. Holy shit this is so underrated. This is the funniest thing ever. -1

“He popped his cherry! Now you’re gonna have to marry her” -4

Klaus doesn’t remember his first time. Consent issues. +3

“No dilly-dallying, alright?” I love Klaus. -1

Klaus makes french press coffee for Luther and Ben. Klaus is a good brother. -1

I would kill to see Ben’s reaction to Luther and the rave girl. +1

Five snatches Luther’s coffee and not Ben’s, ya know, the guy who can’t drink the coffee. And is invisible. Five is a dick to Luther or Five wanted to be a little shit to Luther after having to hear him and the rave girl. Either way, +1

He steals the coffee and he complains about it. +1

Ben! -1

“This is a bad idea” no shit. +1

The awkward pauses where Ben is presumably speaking don’t make sense here. +1

The camera trickery used to make Luther look like a giant compared to Five. -1

Five knows where the aspirin is “top shelf next to the crackers” because he was also hungover. I think. I can’t remember if FIve stopped back at the house, but presumably he and Luther had to go there to get the car. -1

Luther still isn’t getting up to get the aspirin even though he can listen just fine while getting it. +1

Ben adding to the dramatic tension of the scene in a uniquely humorous way that only this show can pull off. -2

Luther doesn’t believe Klaus about Reggie’s suicide. What reason would Klaus have to lie about this, Luther? +1

Five believes him right away. -1

Convenient Pogo backing up Klaus is convenient. +1

This has nothing to do with this very dramatic and important scene, but the mismatched chairs, while cute, don’t appear in any other scene. +1

Five calls Reggie a “sick bastard” under his breath. That’s one way to describe him. -1

Pogo kept this secret for a long time. Not telling the kids was a strange choice and I’m not sure why Pogo made it. On one hand, he would be respecting the wishes of his creator and friend but on the other he would be helping these people come to terms with their father’s death. Pogo’s character motivations are strange and I don’t understand them. +1

Luther said it best, “there’s always choice.” +1

Random thought I had, where was Harold’s grandmother when he was being abused and then going to jail because he killed his abuser? +1

Leonard says some nice things in this scene. If we didn’t know how manipulative he was I would give him credit for this line. +1

Agnes looks adorable out of the Griddy’s uniform. Costume/hair people, you did good. -1

Agnes keeps saying things like “we aren’t in a rush” and talking about seeing three years worth of stops to remind us that there is no time. Hazel looks heartbroken by it. -1

Allison abandons her vehicle. Do not take driving advice from The Umbrella Academy, ever! +1

Allison sees a random scarf from several cars away and immediately connects it with Vanya. Does she also have super sight? +1

The first time we see Allison get recognized by a random stranger for her acting is eight episodes in. +1

Cheddar (the cop Allison is talking to) is so enamored by Allison that he stops doing his job correctly. +1

“Jackpine cove” who named these towns? +1

Allison and Five have the same little shrug when they finish telling terrible lies. -1

Allison is a terrible liar. +1

Diego is still in jail. They’re talking about transferring him upstate. This is really bad news. +1

“Did she use that word? Contentious?” The definitions of contentious all say the word argument. Beeman says that Diego and Patch had an argumentative relationship. This matters to Diego. Why? +1

This conversation was written by someone who doesn’t understand the connotation of the word contentious. +1

Beeman encourages Diego to escape and go on the run. Are all the cops incompitent on this show? You have Patch, who hasn’t pinned Diego for obstruction of justice despite the show implying that Diego has touched evidence he wasn’t supposed to many times, Cheddar, who is so distracted by Allison freakin’ Hargreeves that he forgets that taking her along to a murder case is unethical at best, and Beeman who straight up encourages Diego to escape from jail. That last one is definitely illegal. +10

The parallel between Five and Leonard reading something they aren’t supposed to have in the bathroom. Both the apocalypse file and the journal are red, too. This means something but I don’t have the analysis skills to really go into it. If anyone wants to take a crack at it, go ahead. Sin removed because I know this is smart even if I can’t figure out why.-1

Vanya’s training implies that Reggie has been training these kids hard since they were at least four years old. +7

Current Sin Count: 73

Reggie doesn’t praise Vanya for breaking the glass, he just demands that she does it again. Say it with me now, Reggie is a dick. +1

Leonard straight up uses the word extraordinary. Sigh. +1

The description for how Vanya’s powers work (concentrate on a constant sound until that’s all you can hear and then use an emotional connection to target) is surprisingly good. This is the best description of somebody’s powers we’ve ever gotten in this show. -1

Klaus is attempting to get the yarn on the needle and failing miserably. This is one of the simpler, if tedious, things we do in knitting. Therefore, it is completely understandable how a beginner can’t make heads or tails of it. -1

Five is still injured. The old man walk gives it away. +1

Five treats Klaus like a second in command. I want more of this duo. -1

“So how’d the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself a week before the end of the world?” We would all like to know the answer to that question. Five would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“Don’t answer, that was purely rhetorical.” Nice cop out, show. +1

Reggie used The Apocalypse to make his kids do the dishes. Checks out. +1

Five and Klaus bond over hating doing the dishes and the person making them do the dishes. Sibling culture. -1

“Where have you been?” “Jail. Long story.” The looks on Klaus and Five’s faces! -2

Vanya breaks the monocle. Good job, kid. However, if you know the comics then you know why I am mildly concerned about this. -1

“That will conclude your training for the time being.” Meaning the next 25 years. Reggie, you suck. +1

Now Vanya’s powers are a bit more vague and imply that she has super hearing. +1

Leonard’s training routine actually includes some praise, which is a step up from Reggie. However, a step up from Reggie is still someplace in hell, so it’s still a sin. +1

It’s also a sin because it’s uncontrolled and Vanya is afraid of it, yet Leonard keeps pushing her. +1

Leonard uses the kind of language Reggie would use to describe Vanya’s powers. Checks out because he read Reggie’s book and is using his ideas to train Vanya. +1

Helen Cho’s missing person poster reminds the viewer that Leonard is bad news. +1

Vanya plays for the St. Pluvium Chamber Orchestra. First of all, no they have a conductor. +1

Second of all, “Pluvium” means of or relating to rain. The Umbrella Academy fights against the leader of the rain orchestra in episode 10. Who came up with that pun? That is absolutely hilarious. -1

Based on a post by @seven-valid-libras I think Griddy’s is across the street from this bar? I am not 100% sure. If it is then that’s a sin off because Agnes definitely has a bunch of drunk people coming in for doughnuts every now and then. I lowkey want to write this fic. -1

“Maybe they’ll brood each other to death” Is this a reference to the fact that Luther and Diego were both too emo for umbrellas in episode 1? -1

I feel so bad for Luther right now. Reggie really fucked with his head. +1

After hearing that Vanya’s boyfriend is a convicted murderer, Luther is more concerned for Allison than he is for Vanya. +1

Diego’s face when Luther says “you should have led with that!” [the fact that Allison went after a convicted murderer alone] -1

Luther is right. Diego should have led with that. +1

Luther breaks the door in his rush to get out of the bar. Checks out. -1

Mary J. Blige. -1

The shop is closing because Agnes is leaving? Who owns Griddy’s? +1

And if the shop is closing, then why leave doughnuts on the shelf? Are they gifts for the other waitresses who are now out of a job? +1

Agnes keeps a flamingo (presumably, scented) candle in a bakery. +1

Cha Cha was way too close to that explosion to not get some scratches at the very least. +1

Sergeant Cheddar is letting Allison stay in the room while he interrogates Mr. Luntz (the man that survived Vanya’s powers). +1

What kind of person allows themselves to be hired by some guy in order to beat him up in front of his girlfriend? Who does that? Are there people like that who exist in real life? +1

Allison doesn’t get pissed off when Luntz says that they started to hurt the girl (Vanya) too. +1

Sgt. Cheddar finally gets pissed off with Allison after she starts leading Luntz. This took way too long. +1

“What I really need to do is practice,” said every musician ever. Including me. As I’m typing this I’m putting off practicing. Vanya is calling me out. I deserve it. +1

Also, Vanya just got first chair and so far she still hasn’t learned the solo the day before the concert. That is such a mood. -1

The cracks in Leonard’s personality are finally starting to show. If Harold was smart he would let Vanya do this without attempting to manipulate her into more practice. +1

Vanya left her violin propped up in the middle of a sofa. That is a broken violin waiting to happen. +1

Where is her rosin? Don’t tell me she reuses the same rosin and doesn’t clean her instrument. Please. +2

Leonard doesn’t tell Vanya where he will be going. He just sort of leaves without a note. This would be fine if this universe had cell phones, but it doesn’t. Leonard is a dick. +1

Agnes would like to spend her (Hazel tells her it’s hypothetical but we know it’s not) last two days on Earth with Hazel. That is so sweet. But also, they met less than a week ago. +1

This is the turning point that makes Hazel an active character that wants to stop the apocalypse. Finally some character motivation that makes sense! Whoop! -1

They Call Me a Fool by Damon is another one of my favorites from the soundtrack. What can I say, I’m a sucker for jazz. -1

There is a parallel between Five leaving Vanya’s apartment and Leonard leaving her at the cabin. Her brother (whom I assume she loves) and the man she is infatuated with both leave her at some point without warning. The people who Vanya loves keep leaving her. +2

Vanya puts her violin down on a chair and lets the bow fall. Bows are expensive. +1

“I made a secret place just for you. None of your siblings get to play there.” Of course Reggie is framing it this way. He’s scared of her. +1

The further away from Pogo the camera is, the less real he looks. +1

Reggie and Pogo locked Vanya in this cage. +1

Vanya’s violin bow fell down but in the next shot it’s propped on the chair. +1

Sgt. Cheddar tells Allison to stay put but has no way to verify that she actually will. Also, if he’s such a fan then shouldn’t he know that she used to be a superhero? +1

Allison kept her proof about Leonard/Harold in the car again. +1

“I love you. And I wanna be here for you as your sister.” -1

“I love him.” Vanya you met him less than a week ago. +2

If there was ever a wrong time to bring up the fact that you took Vanya’s powers away and left her with a horribly low self esteem due to the poorly worded “I heard a rumor that you think you’re just ordinary”, it would be now! Now is the wrong time to bring this up! +10

Reggie used Allison to make Vanya powerless. Reggie is a dick. An absolute bastard. A complete scumbag. Etc. +20

Reggie has also been drugging Vanya since she was FOUR YEARS OLD. +50

Insert Reggie insults here. Feel free to come up with your own in the tags. Fuck this guy repeatedly with a rusty chainsaw. +20

Vanya is not in the right state of mind to understand that Reggie is the one that made Allison rumor her. +1

The final fight between Allison and Vanya is heartbreaking. Emmy Raver-Lampman and Ellen Page are excellent actresses. -5

Vanya’s skin keeps getting paler and paler. Foreshadowing. -1

This is the only time Allison attempts to use her powers in the show. To save her life. I would say that it is pretty justified. -1

Violin bows are not sharp enough to cut human flesh. Is this another part of Vanya’s power? +1

Gore warning! This is super fucked. Not gonna lie, I gag a little every time I see this.+4

Vanya is freaking out and then Leonard walks in. Vanya’s mental state is completely out the window at this point. +4

Leonard manhandles Vanya into letting her sister die (as far as they know) on the floor of the cabin. +10

Allison has definitely lost enough blood to kill her, yet she survives this. +1

Leonard went out to kill Luntz. +10

Nobody in the car (Five driving, Klaus shotgun, Luther and Diego in the back) is wearing a seatbelt. +1

Also, of these four people, Five is the most qualified to drive right now? Diego is sitting right there! And we saw Klaus drive the ice cream truck! Luther would have some trouble driving because he’s so large. But really?? +2

“Can you go any faster?” “Ask me again and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.” The comic relief doesn’t really land here because the scene before was so dramatic and the music is still playing. To change the mood, the song would also have to change. +2

Independently, that is a pretty funny Grandpa Five line. -1

Including Ben in the scene where they find Allison bleeding out on the floor is a subtle reminder to the audience that if Allison was dead, Klaus would be able to see her ghost. The lack of a ghost means she is still alive. +1

Also, this scene has all the original members of The Umbrella Academy in it. Look how far they’ve come from the bank robbery. +6

No one is checking for a pulse right now. They’re just assuming that Allison is dead. +10

Overall Review: It goes without saying that this episode is fucking brutal. When I first watched it I had to stop and go do something else for a while because of the rumor reveal and the throat thing. That was really, really concerning. Props to Emmy Raver-Lampman. She fucking killed it this episode. If anyone was wondering if she was a good actress (ya know because of all the “come look at this” lines she kept getting) then this episode made it very clear that she can act and she does it very, very well. 

So, Vanya’s sanity is out the window, Allison is down for the count, and no one cares about the apocalypse right now. That last one is understandable because of Allison’s situation, but damn it really isn’t looking good for the Hargreeves siblings. 

Also, I want to talk about something. This is the last episode in which Allison and Vanya are both capable of speech. And in the eight hours we have known these two women, they have had multiple conversations. All of them have been about a man. Their brothers, their father, Patrick, or Leonard/Harold. Seriously, the two women in this show that are main characters never have a conversation that isn’t about a man. There is no excuse. With the fridging and this, you have to wonder if the writers on this show hate women or something? I don’t normally add sins post analysis, but I think I will make an exception for this one. +100

Total: 283

Sentence: Serious gore. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #390

“i am the enemy, here to save the day!”

When was the last time you woke up in the middle of the night? I do this LITERALLY every night. Do you write? (Songs, poems ect..) RP posts and rarely poetry. What is the easiest type of YouTube video to binge watch? Probably a good let's play of a game I'm really into. Do you color Easter eggs still? I haven't in years. I would if it was offered up, though. Do you prefer to decorate with pastel colors or bright colors for Easter? Pastelllll. Do you own a cross necklace? I did in the past, but I don't now. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? I don’t wear shorts. Do you prefer bright colors, dark colors, or pastel colors? Pastels. What’s something that makes you tired? Socializing. Like it's physically draining to me. Do you like drawing or painting better? Drawing. Do you own any foreign coins? No. Do you prefer soft tacos or hard? I hate tacos. Any recent purchases? My niece's birthday is coming up, so I bought her a Disney version of a board game from my childhood called "Pretty Pretty Princess." She's going to love it. :') Do you ever make mixed CD’s for anyone? I never did, no. Are you into gory movies? Yeah. Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? omg no Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No. Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Me. Though I obviously didn't die. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Twice. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? I think I use (: the most. What is something that freaks you out no matter what? Seeing babies move in their mother's stomach makes me want to shriek and vomit. Do you have any fetishes? No. Do you take a lot of photos? Sigh, not as much as I used to... I just don't know what to photograph anymore. Never leaving home doesn't help. Do you have big ears? No; I actually have very small ears, as has been pointed out to me. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? A laptop. Have you ever met an online friend in real life? Yes! :') There are more I wanna meet. What would you say is your favorite color, out of them all? Baby pink. Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes. What are you most known for? In my real life, my art "skills." Online, probably my obsession with meerkats. Do you have a problem with body hair? Nope. The stigma of it needs to fucking stop. If you bathe yourself and keep your hair groomed, who the actual fuck cares what YOU do with YOUR body. Have you ever been so depressed, you were put on medication? I've been medicated for depression since the 7th grade. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Fluids like pus gross me out. Have you ever witnessed someone being murdered? Jesus, no. o_o At what age do you plan to get married? I'd like to as a young adult, but it's not that big a deal for me because I don't want kids (I wouldn't want kids 'til marriage if I did). Do you have any candles in your room? No, but a wax warmer. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? Yeah, as a kid. What have you been made fun of for the most? People love to pick on me always being on the computer, when I REALLY wish they fucking wouldn't. I'm aware it's an issue that I've had before I was even a teenager and it makes me SUPER self-conscious. When you’re visiting a site, do you still type ‘www.’? No; I kinda forgot that was a thing, lol. Can you still read the time if an analogue clock doesn’t have numbers on it? Yeah. To whom will/did you first talk about the first time you’ve had sex? My mom, I think. What is something you didn’t like about being thirteen? Acne lmaooo. What can you hear right now? "Girls" by Marina. It's really been jammed in my head lately. Do you think it’s okay for kids to have cellphones? Depends on the age and the phone, imo. I personally am for the idea of (slightly older) children having some sort of cell phone with limited applications, just because emergencies happen, and if I was a mom, I'd want my child to ALWAYS be able to reach me like if they were at a friend's or something. I'll tell you right now kids don't need extravagant iPhones, though. Again: limited applications, also to prevent addiction. Do you have any siblings? If so which one of them do you get along with the best? I have one brother and technically five sisters, but I know nothing of one of them. I don't really know who I get along with best...? I'm sadly not exceptionally close to any. What’s your favorite TV show? And who’s your favorite character from it? My favorite show of all time is Meerkat Manor, wherein my favorite character was Mozart. What kind of signs do you use when you pose for pictures? I usually don't make any, but I'll sometimes do a peace sign. What math subject is your favorite? Um, none? How about science? Genetics. Do you have a favorite Youtuber? If so, who? And what is your favorite video by them? Markiplier, obviously. :') Favorite video... I think it's gotta be the first video of the Dark route in "A Date With Markiplier." It's, uh, special to me lmfao. What’s your favourite Mexican dish? I just like quesadillas. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeah. Well I mean, Mom has. What’s the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? Jason. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To be happy and satisfied with what I've done. Have you ever visited someone in prison? No. What months were you and your siblings born in? I was born in February, my younger sister in April, and my older sister is a June baby. Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? No. x_x Do you have any injuries at the moment? No. Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? Average. Nah. Have you ever taken an acting class? No, not my thing. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Yikes, no. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? Venison. Basically anything hunted primarily for sport. If you killed something that did not need to be killed to provide for yourself, I'm not touching it. Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? No. Who was the last person you complimented? I think my mom? She's doing great with her diet, and I can tell she's lost weight. Do you like spring rolls? Yeah, they're decent. What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? Court. What’s your favourite type of curry? I don't know if I've ever tried any. Have you ever had casual sex? No. Not my jam. If your phone rang right now from a number you don’t know, would you answer? Nope. What was your first pet’s name and how did you pick that? My first personal pet was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow. I could NOT tell you why I named a green lizard "Shadow," but I called Squeak "Squeak" because he, well, squeaked, lol. How tall are your highest heels? Not high at all. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. Last thing you looked up on Wikipedia? It was a band that needed a Wikipedia link to go on the Silent Hill wiki. Someone pointed out in trivia that Tears of Mankind covered a SH piece. Should guys keep their shirts on at shows? Unless there's a good reason, like you're seriously overheating, I think so. What about girls? The same as guys. I do think women should keep their bras on though mostly for their own protection because people are pigs. Do you have multiple playlists on YouTube? Yes. What is a goal that you have trouble accomplishing? Losing weight, apparently... What color is your Easter basket? I don't have one anymore. My childhood one was a light tan basket with a baby pink frill around it. What do you need to get from the store right now? Mom just got groceries the other day. What is something that you used to feel ashamed of, but now you don’t? I can't think of anything. EVERYTHING embarrasses me, so. What is your favorite part of growing older? Uhhhhhh. Are you hypersensitive? If so, in what ways are you hypersensitive? Yes, to textures in food. What’s a drug that’s made you gain weight? Paxil was the first, but I worked it all off and got in the best shape of my life. Then Abilify absolutely destroyed my body as far as my weight is concerned because my doctor was an absolute, utter fucking idiot that I will never forgive. Is there a piece of jewelry you have your eye on right now? No. Do you believe that people can be asexual? Bro the fuck, of course I do. What color is your Bible, if you have one? I don't have one. When are you at your happiest? When I first wake up and get on the computer. New day, same shit, but don't tell me that. :^) Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? I mean, it really depends on my mood as well as the weather, but generally, indoors. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Nope. Where did you go, the last time you left your house? My sister's house to celebrate her husband's birthday. Do you like your singing voice? Meh, it depends on the song I'm singing, but usually, no. Have you ever done a psychedelic drug? If not, would you ever consider it? No to both.

[everlarkficexchange]

Fortune Favors the Brave

Written by: @ambpersand

For Prompt 46: Pacific Rim inspired AU with drift compatible Everlark (or not if you’re inspired by angst). I really just want to see more of that aspect of Pacific Rim explored than what they did in the movie and what better way to do it than with Everlark! [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Rated T. 

———————————————————–

Gale was supposed to be my drift partner. My co-pilot in the giant, nuclear-powered Jaeger that we’ve dreamed of controlling together since we were kids. We promised each other that’s how it would work out once we graduated from the academy. There wasn’t any other option. How couldn’t we get a match? 

Dropping my head into my hands, I let out a long groan. When that doesn’t help, I pull my hands forward, dragging them across my face until I can dig the tips of my fingers into my eyes.

We’re practically the same person. Raised from birth in the same town, in houses next to each other, we are mirrored versions of the same personality. Long lost siblings, our mom’s joked to each other. Especially since I looked more like Gale and his siblings than I did with my own sister, Prim. 

We both hate mushrooms and would rather eat cold leftovers for breakfast than cook eggs or eat the cardboard-flavored cereal they served in the mess hall. We’re light sleepers and early risers. Our tempers flare up at the same time, from the same triggers. We have the same sense of humor and we like the same music. The same movies. Food. Everything. I can tell what he’s about to say before the words can make it to his lips, and he can do the same for me. We’re one in the same. 

How could we not be drift compatible? 

“So who did you match with?” he asks, his voice rough from beside me on the bench outside the testing center. We just got our compatibility test results back, ranked from highest to lowest. I didn’t even bother to see who else was on my list–I just searched out Gale’s name first. Anything above a 95% was considered almost a perfect match. It was rare, but it happened. 90% was good, but the Jaeger Program would accept pilots at 85% or higher. The closer the match, the better the drift.

My score with Gale? 62%. 

We spent six months in the Jaeger Program together, being beaten down by the instructors and memorizing every bit of information we could about the Jaegers and the Kaiju that we would eventually face. Every night we sparred for hours, relentless in our determination. We saw our classmates get cut. Drop out. Abandon their dreams of being a pilot because it was too hard. Too much, they claimed while they packed up their stuff from the barracks. They settled for being technicians or strategists, even though we all knew it wasn’t the same. But we made it. We graduated together, we got our pilot pins together. We did this together. All of it. 

All for a measly 62%. 

“I don’t know,” I finally find the words to answer him. The match results are sitting by my feet, crumbled into a ball from my frustration. Reaching down to grab it, I smooth out the wrinkles and hand it to him. Right now, I don’t really care to look. 

“Oh,” the sound that comes out of his throat sounds more like a laugh than anything else, and I shoot him a confused look. He’s laughing? Right now? 

“Lucky you.” 

His shoulders are shaking with restrained laughter, and horror dawns in my stomach, crawling up my throat until it feels like I might stop breathing entirely. Whatever is on that paper, it must be bad. 

I snatch the results back from him in a quick move, but my hands are shaking as my eyes track across the printed words. Please don’t be him… Please don’t be him… 

Shit. 

I can feel the color drain from my face. My usually tan complexion is probably ashen white, and my lips feel numb. It takes every ounce of energy I have to force myself to swallow. To keep breathing. To not throw up my lunch on to the sidewalk in front of our other classmates who are currently celebrating their test results. 

I didn’t just get a good match. I got the highest match possible with the worst person I’ve ever met. 

Peeta Mellark. 98%. 

———————————————————–

He’s waiting for me when I get back to my bunk. I should have known he would. Maybe I did, and that’s why I’ve got my fists clenched in anger before I even round the corner to the hallway where my room is located. It’s been burning inside of me all day, flaming up every time I think about Peeta Mellark and my stupid, pointless test scores. 

The only sound in the hall are the soles of my boots slapping against the concrete floor, but he doesn’t look up at my approach. Of course he doesn’t, I think, grinding my teeth together. He’s so wrapped up in himself he probably doesn’t ever recognize anyone else is around him. His eyes are locked on his phone, his straight white teeth digging in to his lower lip while he reads whatever is on the screen. 

“Everdeen,” he greets me with a grin when I’m only a few feet away. Or rather, he says. Greeting me would be an overstatement, considering it takes him several extra seconds to drag his eyes away from his phone and up to my face after he speaks. “You’re a hard woman to nail down.” 

I’ve avoided coming back all day, and the sun set hours ago. Just like I got my test results this afternoon, any available and eligible pilots would have received their matches today as well. The Jaeger Program is constantly scanning for better drift matches. It’s done almost weekly, with every new crop of graduates and every new addition to the pilot database. It doesn’t matter if you’re already matched if a new, better match comes along. As far as the head of the program, Plutarch Heavensbee, is concerned, the stronger the connection, the better you fight. And a well equipped Jaeger fleet is only as strong as the pilots controlling the machines. 

Peeta Mellark and I just skyrocketed to the top of the program with our 98% match. 

It’s too bad, though, that he’s absolutely insufferable. 

“You’re in my way,” I give him a pointed look, ignoring the giddy smile that’s still stretched across his face. He’s leaning against the threshold to my room, blocking me from being able to reach the door handle. 

“What? No apology for making me wait?” he teases, either oblivious to my sour mood or completely uncaring. With him, it could go either way. 

“Nope,” I shake my head and shove my hand between his back and the door, grabbing the knob. In one swift move I wrap my hand around the metal and push it forward, smiling when he stumbles back a little. 

“Easy now… That’s no way to treat your new partner, is it? Wouldn’t want me falling and cracking my head open.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” I muse, dropping my bag on the small desk next to my bed. A small kernel of guilt nestles deep into my chest. I don’t like being mean. I really don’t. But he has a way of bringing out the worst in me, and it seems like everything he does or says is my own personal brand of torture. 

Ignoring my retort, he pulls out my desk chair and drops his body down into it. He dwarfs the entire thing, built with stocky muscle and broad shoulders. He’s not that tall, but he’s tall enough that he takes up too much space in my cramped room.

“Are you really telling me you’re not excited about our match?” 

“Yes, actually. That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” I grit my teeth and try not to look at him. I don’t know why he feels the need to invade my space, now, either. Unfortunately, I know what will happen if I try to kick him out. Absolutely nothing, because Peeta Mellark does what Peeta Mellark wants. So instead I sit down on my mattress, as far as I can get from him, and begin unlacing my boots. 

“Katniss, this is huge,” the incredulity in his voice is hard to miss. “No one ever gets a 98.” 

“It must have been a mistake,” we both know it wasn’t, but I’m still going to hold out hope. The test is never wrong, and it’s not about to start messing up compatibility matches now. 

Peeta huffs out a sigh, and when I glance up at him he’s staring straight at me. Was that noise to get my attention? His blue eyes are sparkling with what looks like happiness, and my mouth turns sour. It’s just another reminder of how different we are. He’s like a giant golden retriever, but so much more loud and brash and in your face. Never not joking around, strutting through the base like he’s so special. Like nothing can touch him. He’s happy. 

“Come on, you know you want to give me a chance. Give us a chance,” he lifts his ashy blond eyebrows in expectation, and I can’t stop the snort that slips out. 

“I really don’t,” my words are honest, and I see the moment they hit him. His eyes dim a little and his mouth twitches down slightly, but as soon as the frown appears it’s gone again. Expertly smoothed away and masked by that signature confidence he’s known so well for. Or cockiness, if we’re all being honest. 

There’s no doubt that Peeta Mellark is the best Jaeger pilot in the country. Even I can’t deny that fact, as much as I don’t like him. His hit counts are legendary, and he’s never missed a drop. Even through the training exercises and demonstrations he gave to the academy students, my class included, it’s clear that he knows what he’s doing. 

The only problem? He can’t keep a drift partner to save his life. 

“Katniss,” he says my name again, his tone pulling the syllables into a little melody. I hate it, and I don’t try to hide my glare at him. “You won’t even spar with me?” 

“No,” shaking my head, I sit back up and push my boots off one at a time. When my feet are finally free, I can’t help but wiggle my toes in relief. The standard issue uniform is uncomfortable at best, and the leather of my shoes are still stiff after months of wear. 

“Not even once?” 

“Not even once,” I stand and move toward the door. I can’t take having him in here any longer. It’s making my skin crawl, and I want to scrub my nails across my arms until I feel like myself again. “Now please leave. I have things I need to do.” 

Surprisingly, he listens. It’s a first, and I struggle to cover my shock at his sudden compliance.

“Fine, but I’ll be back,” he promises me with a wink. 

When he struts out of my bunk, I finally let out the breath I’ve been holding in my lungs. It’s the most I’ve ever spoken to him in one sitting, and the only time we’ve ever been alone…. And I’m not looking forward to when it happens again.

———————————————————–

That night, I can’t sleep. I toss and I turn so many times that it feels like my skin is starting to chafe from the friction against the rough, standard-issue barrack sheets. Every time I close my eyes, I see that damn list. Then, I see Peeta’s grinning face, and I get frustrated all over again. It goes on and on for hours, no matter how many times I try to direct my mind elsewhere or to focus on something else. I can’t. 

How could I match with him? Of all people? 

We couldn’t be any more different, and I don’t understand. I would have bet my entire life savings that I would have been matched compatible with Gale. It made sense. This? This doesn’t make one lick of sense and I don’t know how to begin processing it. 

The worst part is that once you’re a pilot, you can’t deny your drift partner. If you’re matched, you’re matched. You don’t get to be picky, and the only way to get a different partner is to find a better match. It’s either that or drop out of the program entirely. Which is not an option. Then again, neither is finding a new match. The likelihood of finding anyone above a 98% is impossible. Even Gale’s highest match was an 89%. Some people don’t even find eligible matches after graduating from the pilot’s program, and to have such a high result on my first shot? It’s likely that I’ll be stuck with him forever, or until one of us inevitably dies. 

Even though I tried to deny the test results earlier when Peeta was in my room, I can’t. Over the last few years, they’ve refined the process until it’s virtually flawless. It’s never been wrong before, and it won’t be wrong now. It would be stupid to try and believe otherwise. The tests look at every possible aspect of your personality, analyzing and categorizing you until you’re just a series of traits. There are thousands that it ranks you on, taking into consideration the tiniest of details and adding them up into one profile that gets added to the compatibility database. 

Your memories. Your experiences. Good and bad, it looks at everything. No stone is left unturned. It reviews your temperament, your fighting techniques, your natural dispositions and your best skills. The test itself takes an entire week to complete, and it spans from memory puzzles to written essays to physical sparring matches. It even takes into consideration references from the academy, and how you interact with other pilots. Simulated Jaeger drops complete the test, but at that point it’s just a formality. 

I know I’m good. Gale and I both are, and we graduated at the top of our class. Even our instructor, Haymitch Abernathy, couldn’t disagree. We had the highest simulation kill rates in the last five years. Which, coincidentally, was when Peeta Mellark graduated from the program. 

It’s the only thing we have in common. 

Everything else, we’re polar opposites. I wouldn’t consider myself petite, but I’m small enough. Him? He’s easily 10 inches taller than me, with stocky muscles and a body made for brute force. I’m lithe and quick on my feet, trained from a young age when Gale and I used to have to hunt for food to feed our families. After both of our dads died during a Kaiju attack on the coast, the two of us had to step up and fill the gap.

Peeta? He grew up in a happy home. Or at least, it sure as hell looks happy. It was normal at the very least, as everyone knows when his parents give tearful interviews on TV about him and how wonderful it is to have a son that’s out fighting for the safety of the world. As if there’s no one else out doing the same thing, and the entire Jaeger program is resting on his shoulders. 

Ugh, I roll my eyes in the dark of my room. 

I’m confident, yeah, but I’m not cocky like he is. I would never go around bragging about my drop/kill rates the way that he does. Or boasting every time he loses a partner that it’s “for the best, because he’s the best.” If my memory serves me, he’s never had a drift partner last longer than a year, and he’s gone through six since graduating from the academy. They’ve never been higher than a 90% match, either. 

Not that I was paying attention. 

With a heavy sigh, I twist my body around in the thin blanket until I’m laying on my back again, then push myself into a sitting position. There’s no sense in trying to pretend I’m going to fall back asleep. If it hasn’t happened yet, it wont, and I need to do something with the restless energy that’s coursing through my limbs. 

With ease, I get dressed in the dark, pulling a pair of clean shorts and a t-shirt from my dresser. That’s something else they taught us, back at the beginning of the program. Get dressed fast, because there’s no time to waste if a Kaiju crosses the breach at 2 AM. 

Shooting off a quick text to Gale, I pull on my running shoes and lock the door to my room as I head toward the gym. Even though there’s still an hour or so before dawn, he’ll likely be up soon. I can get in a few miles on the treadmill, and then practice sparring techniques until he shows up and we can do our regular workout together. 

Pulling a deep breath into my chest, I try to settle my raging nerves and focus on what changes I want to make to my workout routine today, instead of the impending drift training with Peeta Mellark. 

———————————————————–

He only gives me three days of space before tracking me down again. I’ll give him credit for lasting longer than I would have bet, because I expected to find him camped outside of my room on more than one occasion. 

Then again, I have been avoiding him, so maybe I didn’t make it easy. 

Gale immediately jumped into training with his new partner, Thom, which has left me with more free time than I’ve had since enlisting in the academy. Training with your new partner means spending almost every available moment with them. Eating meals together, exercising, sparring practice… Anything to give you insight into who they are and what it’s going to be like when you get hooked up for your first drift. Everything I’m not doing with Peeta.

Even though the pilot academy had us doing weekly drop simulations, the Jaeger Program keeps the drift technology under lock and key. Only certified pilots are cleared to drift, and from all the stories in our history books… It’s dangerous. Not as much as it used to be, but dangerous enough that only certain types of people are cut out for it. 

People like me and Peeta, apparently. 

Back before they refined the technology that enabled two minds to link up into one massive machine, the Jaeger Program lost a lot of pilots. Some to brain aneurysms and strokes, because the neural load was too much, and others to madness. They learned pretty early on that it’s too much for one brain to handle on their own, but you can’t just throw two people into the drift together and expect it to be okay. When you link up with a drift partner, you see everything about them. The things that make them who they are, the events that shaped them into the person strapped in to the Jaeger beside you, facing down death and destruction. It feels like you’re there with them. It feels like you are them. You see the innermost workings of their minds, and see what they are thinking before the thoughts can translate into words. In the drift, you take a little bit of themselves into your mind, and they do the same in return. 

So if it’s not a good match? You’ll never be the same. 

I can’t imagine what Peeta’s mind looks like after six partners. I’m sure it will be utter chaos as soon as we link up, and I can only theorize on the types of things I’ll see. Flashes of his memories, definitely. Probably some from his childhood, and others during the academy. Not only does he have a reputation as a cocky pilot, but he’s a playboy to boot. I’ll see him sleeping with half the female population on the base. At the thought, I shudder. It’s a worse reality than knowing I’ll see what it’s like to face a Kaiju in the middle of the ocean. 

That, I can handle. I’ve studied the pictures and the videos. I know that they bleed toxic blue sludge and scream at ultrasonic frequencies that will burst windows and fry electronics. They’re big and brutal and deadly. I’ve spent years learning about them, starting in school when they added the first attacks to our history books. After my dad’s death, I grew up with a desire for vengeance burning in my chest to finish as many of them as I can. I’ll die in a Jaeger, if it means I can protect another child from having to experience the same grief and trauma I did. 

Hearing about Peeta Mellark’s sexual escapades are one thing. Seeing them and feeling them as if I’m him? It’s enough to make my stomach churn. The overwhelming nausea only increases when I realize the reality of the situation…. If I have to see all of Peeta’s dirty little secrets, he’s going to see mine too. 

Oh god. He’ll see the awkward kiss that Gale and I shared in the woods. When his lips were so cold from the morning frost they felt like ice cubes against my own, and I laughed through my nose at how strange and wrong it felt. He will see the day that my mom sat me down and told me that my dad was dead, and that his body was never recovered so we couldn’t even have a burial. He’ll know the sharp stomach pains that I felt when I realized my mom was too depressed to go grocery shopping, and that I would have to do something about it if we wanted to survive. 

He’ll know the nights that I laid awake in the too-small room I shared with my sister, listening to the steady whispers of her breathing while I wondered what it would be like to survive. To succeed.  

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even see him when he comes into the gym. Or when he leans against the wall, watching me as I finish out my three mile run. My eyes are straight ahead, burning holes into the wall while I think about all the ways my life is about to get turned upside down. 

It was always supposed to be Gale. 

“Wow,” Peeta’s voice jolts me out of my reverie, and my left foot catches on the belt of the treadmill. My feet stumble a little but I right myself quickly, sucking in a deep breath and slapping the emergency stop on the machine. My heart feels like it might burst through my ribcage and out of my chest completely, but I cover my surprise with a hard scowl in his direction. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone frown so hard before. I’m almost afraid to ask what you’re thinking.”

“Then don’t,” snatching my water bottle from the holder, I step off the treadmill and move toward the door, but his words stop me. 

“It’s just a matter of time before I see it for myself, anyway.”

I can’t stop the flash of anger that makes me turn on my heel and march right up to him, crowding his body against the wall. I’m small, yes, but I’ve got more anger than he does.

He steps back a little, pressing his body into the wall, but looks down at me with an amused expression, like he’s waiting. Waiting for what? To see what I do next?

“Leave me alone,” I demand. 

“I have,” he shrugs, completely unbothered. “I gave you three days. It’s time you get your head out of the sand so we can start training.”

“I’m not training with you,” I spit back, crossing my arms over my chest. It’s still heaving with exertion from my run, and I’m fairly sweaty, but I don’t care. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were dropping out of the program. My apologies,” the smirk that stretches across his face is so smug that I have to refrain from throwing my water bottle across the room. 

He’s got me backed into a corner, and there’s nothing I can do. I either train with him, or I drop out. I knew what the stakes were when I enrolled in the pilot program, I just didn’t realize I’d get screwed so hard. 

“Not today,” I shake my head and move to leave. I need more time. 

“Then when?” he laughs, following me.

“I don’t know.” 

I only make it halfway to the door before his large hand wraps around my wrist, halting my steps. 

“That’s not good enough, and we both know it,” when he speaks, his voice is low and rough. 

“Let me go,” I yank at my wrist, but he doesn’t give. 

“No,” he replies, and when I turn my head to glare at him, his eyes are sparkling. 

“You know, I heard a lot about you from Plutarch. And Haymitch. They said you were good.”

I don’t understand why he’s telling me this, and I try to back up a step but he pulls me closer instead. 

“But I didn’t take you for a quitter.” 

His words hit me like a punch to the chest, and the water bottle in my opposite hand drops to the floor with a clatter. 

“You–” I start, snarling the words as I rear back to punch him. But he’s too quick, catching my fist with his other hand, as easily as he might catch a ball during a game of toss. 

“There she is,” he laughs a little, watching me as I struggle. He’s too strong, and with my hands locked in his palms, I’m almost helpless. Almost. 

Continuing to pull with my upper body, I wait a moment until it looks like he’s distracted by holding me still. His arms are big, yeah, and roped with muscle…. But his center of gravity is a lot higher than mine. 

Dropping low, I sweep my leg out, catching his ankle with my foot and knocking him down to the ground. He lets out a grunt, releasing my hands to catch his fall, but I’m too slow to scramble away. My limbs are already feeling heavy from my brutal run, and he takes advantage of my slower pace by yanking me down on top of him.

It turns into a scuffle almost immediately. When I go to roll off of his body and on to the floor so I can get back up, he locks his leg around my waist and twists his torso. I know what he’s doing–he’s trying to get me pinned. It’s the same move I typically use on Gale, and it’s not exactly in the sparring rulebook. Unfortunately for Peeta, I know how to get out of it easier than he does. 

With a quick shift of my weight, I pull my leg up and press my knee against his chest, using the leverage to push him up and off with a heavy grunt. Just because he’s bigger doesn’t mean he’s going to get the upper hand. For all his strength and power, I’ve got speed and flexibility. The force of my shin on his abdomen causes him to let out a rough groan, but I don’t get anywhere that fast. He latches his arms around me and rolls backward, taking my body on top of his.

His biceps are like iron grips around my torso, and we pause at the same moment, breathing heavy and in sync. 

“You’re a little spitfire, aren’t you?” he doesn’t sound mad that we’re wrestling around on the floor like a couple of children. He sounds amused. 

“Screw you,” I hiss between clenched teeth, bucking his hold. Or at least, trying to. I don’t get far, but I manage to loosen his hold enough to get one arm out and press it against his throat. 

“Let me go,” I demand.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he wheezes, trying to suck in air while I press down hard on his windpipe. In a flash, I’m back on the floor, my back hitting the polished concrete with a dull thud. The only thing keeping me from smacking my head against the floor is the strain of my neck, keeping it upright while I struggle to get my footing. His weight is pressing me down and he moves into a hold position, swinging his legs around to the side and pressing down on the tops of my thighs with one heavy knee. 

“No,” I know if I can twist myself around to my stomach, I can leverage myself up and back. The move will push him off me, and I’ll have all the power. If I wasn’t afraid of getting a citation and being put on bathroom cleaning duty, I’d throw in a headbutt to disorient him. 

And to give him a bloody nose. 

Pushing my arms out, I loosen his hold just enough to make room so I can turn around underneath him. It’s stunted by the fact that he’s pressing his entire weight down on top of me, and I pull a shoulder muscle in the process, but I get there. 

“Not so fast,” he manages to catch on to my maneuver and shifts his body the rest of the way on top of mine, pressing me down completely flat. 

Shit. He’s easily got a hundred pounds on me, and I can’t move. I’m plastered to the floor, sweaty and exhausted, and I can’t even lift my hips by an inch. When I try, I suck in a deep breath to hide the gasp that rises up my throat–Peeta’s hips are pressed into my backside, and I can feel everything. He’s not hard, but the outline of his penis is obvious enough through the thin material of our workout clothes. 

“Let me go,” I grunt the words out again, trying my hardest to get out from underneath him. I barely move an inch, and he laughs. 

“Is this what you’ve been running from? You don’t want to spar with someone who’s on your level?” 

“You’re not on my level,” I try, but it comes out weak. We’re evenly matched, as much as I don’t want to admit it. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be wrestling around on the dirty gym floor. We’re highly skilled, trained fighters. One of us should have won the match immediately. 

“I am and we both know it. Hawthorne, on the other hand…” he trails off, musing to himself like he’s not practically laying on top of me. 

“Don’t talk about Gale,” I snap, shoving my shoulder back. It bumps him in the head, but he only tightens his hold. 

“Why not? Your precious boyfriend isn’t that good. I’ve seen the way you whip his ass every time you guys spar. It’s not even a contest,” he says the word contest like it’s an insult, what Gale and I do. And sure, maybe I am a better fighter than Gale, but that doesn’t mean he’s bad. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I don’t know why I feel the sudden urge to clarify that to him, and I regret the words as soon as they fall from my lips. Peeta must be processing the words, and in his moment of confusion, I know what I have to do. I have to do what he least expects, because that’s the only thing that can take him by surprise. It’s the only thing that would take either of us by surprise, and it’s the one thing that we’re hardwired to never do. 

I give up. 

I go completely limp underneath him, letting the air rush out of my lungs on a heavy sigh. My arms go slack and my legs stop twisting, and I feel my heated skin melt into the hard floor beneath my body. 

“What the–” Peeta’s sudden confusion isn’t lost on me. It’s the first time I’ve given up a fight since enrolling in the academy. 

“That’s it? You’re giving up?” 

“Please let me up,” I try for a nice tone, but it’s ruined by the fact that I’m grinding my teeth together. I’m sure I’ll have a hell of a headache to show for it, but I just want him off of me. 

“Promise me you’ll come to training, then.” 

“Fine,” I sigh after a moment of hard silence. I’ll get a summons if I don’t, anyway. 

With a slight huff, Peeta rolls off of me and extends his hand. Shooting him a hard look, I press my palms on to the floor and push myself up, ignoring the offer. 

“Plutarch wants to push up our training schedule. He wants to get us in the drift immediately.” his words stop me in my tracks.

“What?” taking a step back from him, I look around. There are only a few people in the gym at this hour, and they’re all avoiding looking at us. Probably because we just made a huge scene, and they’re just waiting for us to leave so they can all start to gossip. 

“We aren’t supposed to drift until after we train together. To see if we work,” I shake my head, like I might be able to dislodge the outrageous statement he just told me. It’s too soon–we need time first. 

“Maybe for the others. But we’re a higher match than anyone else in the program, and I’m the best ranked pilot in the entire country. There’s no sense in wasting time.” 

“God, you’re cocky,” reaching down to pick up my discarded water bottle from the floor nearby, I shake my head. 

“Yeah, well, get used to it. I’m yours now. And you’re mine.” 

This time, he doesn’t wait for my response. He walks away, sauntering through the gym and out the double doors before I can pick my jaw up off the ground. 

———————————————————–

I’ve got another new reason to add to my list of why I can’t drift with Peeta Mellark, and it’s because as soon as we connect, he’s going to see the effect he had on me. That when he walked out of the gym two days ago, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his body felt on top of mine, and how, for once, his swagger was enough to make me feel a little weak. 

And I think I might be sick because of it. My stomach is rolling, and acid is burning at the back of my throat as I walk through the Shatterdome. It’s total chaos in here, with Rangers and Jaeger technicians running from machine to machine. Right now, there are four massive Jaegers stationed inside, ready and waiting. 

And one of them belongs to Peeta Mellark. 

There aren’t that many pilots in the program. In total, it’s a little over 15, now counting me and Gale. It’s a ranked system, with the best and most established pilots getting their own Jaegers. Gale and I would have been at the bottom of the list, too, as new graduates. I suppose he still is, but I’ve managed to cheat the system somehow, even if it wasn’t intended. 

Two of the Jaegers are dedicated to pilot teams, including the one that I’ll be joining Peeta in today. It’s a big hulking thing, with a nuclear reactor nestled in the chest and cannons attached to each arm. It’s an older model, a Mark V, but it’s strong and sturdy. The second one is manned by Finnick Odair and Johanna Mason, and as a team they’re both about as ruthless as they come. They’re cunning and fast, and the Mark VI machine is made for speed. Aside from Peeta, they’re the best in the country. They’ve been at it longer than he has too, by several years and a few extra kills.

The other two are kept as backups, and when the Breach Alarm sounds, they’ll be filled with whoever is stationed on base and the most qualified. It’s a last line of defense, and if Peeta or Finnick and Johanna do their jobs right, they won’t need to be deployed. 

I guess that means me too, now.

“You ready?” my old instructor, Haymitch Abernathy, comes limping toward me as I’m stuck staring up at the massive machines. I’ve seen them in person before, and it’s never short of breathtaking. The pure power is undeniable, and if I were the type to cry… Well, it’s a good thing I don’t wear mascara. 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

Haymitch used to be a pilot, back when the Mark II machines were considered state of the art. But after his partner died in combat and he was left to pilot the Jaeger back to safety with a crippled leg, he’s never stepped foot back inside one. Now he’s just a gruff instructor who likes to give me shit. 

“Why are you here, anyway?” I ask him when we step into the elevator that will take us up to the loading platform. The drift tech is nestled deep inside each Jaeger, and the best way to drift with your partner is inside the machine you’ll be piloting. 

“To make sure you didn’t kill him before getting into that machine,” Haymitch flashes me a wry smile, and heat creeps up the back of my neck. 

“That obvious?” 

“I had a feeling from the first day you stepped foot into my classroom.” 

The choked noise that erupts from my throat makes him chuckle, and my mouth drops open as I sputter for words. 

“Don’t get yourself all worked up about it now,” he shakes his head, cutting off whatever denial I was about to come up with. “It was just a hunch. Gale’s a good guy, but…”

“But?” I shake my head, waiting for his answer. The elevator doors open to the loading platform, but I’m not going anywhere until he gives me some sort of explanation. 

“You’re fire. And so is Gale. And you know what happens when you burn too hot? You either explode or you extinguish yourself entirely.” 

He walks right past me, limping along like there’s nothing ridiculous about what he just said. I follow before the doors can close and separate us and catch back up in a few swift steps. 

“Your partner is supposed to be someone who’s just like you. Who can anticipate your thoughts before you can even finish thinking them. Who knows you, inside and out.” 

“You learn who your partner is through the drift, Katniss. Not beforehand. And your partner isn’t supposed to be just like you. Your partner is supposed to be there to compliment you. To make up for your weaknesses with their strengths. And so you can do the same for them.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” I try to argue, but he shakes his head and stops me with a hand on my shoulder. 

“Get your head out of your ass. I know I taught you better than that.” 

He leaves me behind again, making his way toward the control room without a look back. The technicians behind the control desk will be monitoring our drift. They won’t be able to see everything that we do, but they’ll be able to watch how our bodies react. They’ll see our vitals as they spike and drop, as we rush through a lifetime’s worth of memories in just a few seconds. 

“Katniss Everdeen?” a tall woman pokes her head out from a door nearby, catching my attention. “We’re ready for you.” 

Behind that door is where I’ll get suited up with a specially designed set of full body armor, made exactly to my measurements. Casted out of lightweight carbon fiber, it’s rigged with the latest and greatest technology to keep me safe. To keep my brain connected with Peeta’s, and our bodies connected to the Jaeger. 

With a deep breath, I summon what little bravery I can find and walk through the door. Once inside, I come to a full halt. Luckily, Peeta isn’t in here, but it seems like half of the Shatterdome is. It’s packed full of people, bustling around like mad. A smaller man comes rushing from a door to the left with a helmet tucked in his hands, while another begins detaching hoses from the armor that’s hanging against the far wall. Hydraulic fluid. I recognize the color, and I wonder why they’re doing a full service on the drift suit since this is just a trial run. It’s a bigger deal than the simulations we go through, but it’s not like they’re preparing for a drop. 

“What’s the deal?” I manage to catch one of the armor technicians as he passes by, wrapping my fingers around his upper arm. 

“The suits always have to be ready to go. Just in case,” he shrugs out of my hold and continues on his way, hurrying toward the control desk. 

“Are you ready?” the same woman who pulled me from the hall takes a long look down my body. “You’re going to need to undress down to your underwear, please.” 

In here? I think, my eyes darting around at all the people, but before I can argue she purses her lips. 

“Come on, we don’t have all day. You better get used to it if you want to be a pilot.” 

Shit. With a sigh, I reach down to untie my boots, kicking them off one at a time, before following with my pants. As soon as my shirt has been pulled over my head, another tech comes and sweeps away my pile of clothes. I guess that’s that. I try to resist the urge to cover my stomach with my arms, and press my shoulders back instead. This is it.

“Okay, let’s get you ready to drift, pilot,” her face warms a little when she smiles, and I soak in the title. 

Pilot. 

It takes three technicians to get me dressed in my armor, but I’m surprised once it’s all on. It’s lighter than I expected, and I can move around freely in a way that I didn’t think would be possible. 

“Ranger Mellark is ready to go, Captain,” the same tech that collected my clothes comes by again, this time wearing a headset. 

“Copy, tell them we’re headed to the loading platform,” the woman beside me answers, straightening to her full height and resting a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go.” 

As we walk out of the room, I catch sight of her nametag. It’s situated on her left breast above a stack of medals and commendation pins. 

Paylor. 

“Any parting words of wisdom?” I ask when we approach the loading dock and she stops at a wide yellow line on the floor. Past that line is the interior chamber of the Jaeger, where my co-pilot is waiting for me. Where everything is about to change. Everything I’ve been waiting for has led to this moment. Everything I’ve worked for, hoped for, and dreamed about. 

My palms are beginning to sweat, and I pull in a shaky breath. With a smile, Paylor pushes me forward. “Good luck.” 

Peeta is waiting for me in the main chamber, with his back to the door. He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, shaking out his arms and stretching his neck as he gets ready to step into the mechanisms that lock our bodies into the Jaeger. There are two techs ready and waiting to help us step into the controls, but he turns to me before they even catch that I’ve entered the room. 

“Katniss,” he smiles, and a strange warm sensation floods my system. 

“Peeta,” I nod, unwilling and unable to muster a smile. The warm sensation morphs into something else, rolling over my stomach like ocean waves against a buoy. Don’t get sick. Don’t get sick. 

“Did Haymitch have to drag you here, kicking and screaming?” he asks, even though his face is lit up like a little kid on Christmas Day. He might be giving me shit but he’s completely alive right now, in his element and ready to drift. 

“Is it that unlikely that I would show up on my own?” I avert my eyes forward and step into place, locking my feet into the metal stirrups that control the lower half of the machine. 

“Yes,” his answer is blunt, and he follows my movements. As soon as we’re locked in, the armor technicians come around and pull our helmets over our heads, securing them into place. 

“How many summons did you get?” his next question is louder in my ear because of the comm system in the helmets, and I wince at the sudden noise. 

“Just one.” 

There’s no sense in trying to lie. He’ll see for himself soon enough. 

“Ready?” he asks, giving his technician a thumbs up. I repeat the action with my own and nod, even though he’s looking straight forward. 

“I guess so,” the words barely make it out of my mouth before the countdown begins, crackling through the earpiece speaker. 

“Drift initiating in five… four… three… two…” 

Peeta interrupts the countdown in a low whisper. “See you on the other side, Everdeen.” 

“One.” 

With a jolt of electricity, my body seizes up. It’s like being struck by lightning, but instead of my vision going black, it’s pure white. Flashing images and noise flood my system, and I can’t make out a word of it. I can’t hear anything through the sudden chaos, but I feel the gasp as it rushes into my lungs. As soon as I manage another breath, the images start to get sharper, morphing into recognizable scenes. 

A little blond boy, being hugged by his father. Peeta. Then he’s laughing and running through an empty yard with two older boys who look a lot like him. Brothers?

It flashes again, changing suddenly. He’s cowering in the corner, clutching his arm. It looks odd and bent at a weird angle, and he’s trying to shield his body away. There’s screaming, but I can’t make out any of the sounds, until a woman comes at him with a large wooden rolling pin. 

Don’t chase the rabbit, don’t chase the rabbit. I try to resist the pull… if you pay attention to the memories too much, you could get stuck in them. 

“You’ll never be as good as them. Your brothers have always been better than you. I don’t even know why you keep wasting your time,” the same woman is looking at Peeta now, but he’s older. Almost an adult. And he’s got a book in his hands… about Jaegers? “I need to at least try,” he tells her, but she laughs at him instead. 

I shake my head, but it doesn’t dislodge the memories. I have a sinking feeling that the woman I’m seeing is his mother. From my recollection of the television interviews, it looks a lot like her… This version is just younger and less grey. 

“Peeta Mellark!” he’s greeted by sudden applause at the academy graduation ceremony, and he’s decked out in his dress uniform. His satisfaction is hollow though, and empty when he looks out across the crowd and doesn’t see any familiar faces. 

A sudden flash of lightning and a force rocks me back on my heels. No, it’s the memory. He’s locked into the Jaeger, stepping back into position with his partner. The Kaiju has swept it’s tail round, knocking the side of the machine with brute force. It’s trying to take them down into the ocean. To drown them– “No!” both Peeta and his copilot shout at the same time, fighting back as one. “Get ready!” he shouts, pulling forward the controls. They’ve got one shot left in the cannon, and if they don’t hit the beast right in the middle of it’s bulky body… Thousands of people will die. Easily. 

The floor stabilizes, and the images blur again. “Your partner has been reassigned,” Plutarch Heavensbee rests a hand on his shoulder, apologetic at the news. “Again?” Peeta can’t help but sigh, and the rejection stings like a knife in his stomach. I can feel it, and my hands clutch at my abdomen, even though there’s nothing there. “The right match will come up one day, just wait. You’re too good to go solo,” Plutarch tries to joke, but Peeta can’t even muster a smile. 

Damn, she’s good. The voice in my head is now Peeta’s, but I see… myself? 

He’s watching me spar with Gale, I realize. We’re wrestling on the floor of the academy training center, and my hair is pulled back in a tight braid. I remember this day… It’s the day he came to speak to our class about what it was like to fight off a 2500 pound Category 3 Kaiju. “She’s pulling her punches for him,” Peeta whispers to the man next to him. Haymitch? “I know,” he responds. “But you can’t tell her that.” “She’s not going to get any better if you keep babying her.” “You think I’m babying her?” Haymitch laughs, but Peeta’s eyes go back to me. I’m grappling with my legs wrapped around Gale’s torso, my elbow driving in to the back of his neck. “God, she’s magnificent.” 

The last words fade, and I realize he didn’t speak them out loud. He’s thinking them right now. I suck in a breath, but the vision falters to a final scene. 

“Oh god,” the words are more of a moan than anything else, and Peeta laughs deep in his chest. “Be quiet,” he shushes her. “Before someone hears you.” He’s trailing kisses over a woman’s neck, but I can’t see her face, They’re locked in a dark closet somewhere, cramped between shelves, but that doesn’t stop them. He’s grinding his hips into hers, and her legs are latched around her waist while she writhes against him. When his lips find the spot on her neck that makes her clench, he laughs again. 

“Katniss,” I hear him speak, but I’m too focused. I can’t look away, even though there isn’t much to see. I can feel everything. His desperation. His desire. All of it. Buried deep underneath the haze of lust, though, is something else. Something smaller and harder to pinpoint. It feels dull and achy, like a scar that didn’t quite heal right. 

“Come on,” I hear him murmur into her ear. “You love it, don’t you?” “I do,” she cries, raking her nails down the back of his neck. I can feel the warmth flooding my system like I’m right there with him. Like I’m her, whoever she is, and I shudder in a ragged breath. It’s so good, and it seems so close–

“Katniss!” Peeta shouts into my earpiece, and I suck in a breath like I’m breaking the surface of the ocean. It feels like I’ve been drowning, and as soon as my eyes pop open, I realize that I must have closed them. I’m out of the haze of his memories, back in the middle of the Jaeger with him. In person. Not a memory. 

“You chased the rabbit,” he chides, and the heat that floods my face is second only to the raging fire between my legs. “See anything good?” he laughs, but I know that he knows. 

Now that I’m not submerged in 25 years worth of his memories, I know what he saw of mine. Prim following me around when we were just kids, when she still carried around the stuffed yellow bear that was her favorite. The day my dad died, and when Gale and I started hunting together. The promises we made. My first day at the academy, when I thought I might faint at the sight of a jar of Kaiju blood on my instructor’s desk. When I got the news that Peeta was my partner, and the strange heat I felt after we sparred in the gym. 

“Drift successful. Pilots, you are now linked,” the technician’s voice filters through the earpiece, tinny from the control room transmission. 

“Well, well, well,” I hear Peeta say, but when I look at him, there’s more written on his face. It’s clear as day, but it takes me a minute… no, the emotions that I’m sensing aren’t on his face at all. They’re in his head, and so am I. 

The worst thing isn’t that he knows that I’m turned on by what I saw. It’s that he’s turned on by me, too, and now we both know it. 

[tomorrowsdrama]

I watched the first three episodes of Tale of the Nine Tailed and...I like it but I’m not obsessed with it like I thought I would be. I left the first episode feeling “meh,” the second feeling “Ok I guess,” and the third feeling “all right it’s finally getting interesting.” So maybe by next episode, I’ll fall in love? I just wanna preface this by saying that this is not a hate post! These are clearly just my very objective/biased/personal opinions that have no effect on how others may feel about the drama.

I think the main issue about this drama so far for me is that I don’t feel much chemistry between Lee Dong Wook and Jo Bo Ah which is surprising because I thought they looked fine together in the gifs I’d seen before I started watching. It feels very....I don’t know how to describe it. Everything background story/plot/set up wise about their characters should theoretically make me eat out of the otp’s hands like a starving fiend but I’m kind of just left with “cool story bro, but where’s the actual emotional resonance?” I think this is mostly a result of the lacking chemistry that I feel. I know right now they don’t have romantic feelings for each other and are at the bickering phase, but we’ve all seen the whole bickering “enemies” to lovers trope. There should be plenty of chemistry even at this stage. But to me, there’s not much oomph/heat when they bicker. At most, it just feels kind of akin to siblings annoying each other.

And to me, the crux of this whole drama is Lee Yeon’s undying love for Ah Eum that has endured hundreds of years and caused him to break immortal god world rules and give up his station as a mountain god. So when the heart of the story is the epic romance, it’s kind of hard for me to love the drama when I don’t feel any romantic chemistry. The set up/tragic backstory can only do so much for me. Eventually, I will need to also feel and believe in Yeon’s love. I think maybe it’s also because LDW is turning up the smolder/pining to like level 11 every time he looks at Ji Ah/Ah Eum and Jo Bo Ah isn’t quite at the same level. But again, that might just be because we’re not at that stage in the drama where she likes Yeon back so it makes sense for her not to look at Yeon with such intensity.

Acting wise, LDW is fine AND FINE. Thank god he’s looking good and not playing a morally reprehensible serial killer so I can thirst in peace (here’s looking at you Strangers from Hell). His red hair does not actually look that bad in action. Surprisingly, his early 2000s hot topic raver girl furry boot hair as a mountain god did not look that bad either. It must have helped that I was watching on a tv from afar and not wearing my nearsighted glasses lol. But yeah, acting. He’s fine. Nothing to complain about.

Jo Bo Ah is ok in the role to me. I haven’t really seen her act before this so I didn’t really have any impressions/expectations one way or another. I think as I watched more episodes, she started to feel more settled into her role. I don’t want to say her acting leaves me cold, but there’s a little something left to be desired. The best way to describe it is that I don’t think she’s bad, but I’m also not wowed. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I think part of it has to do with the writing of the character. I can see how some people may find her a bit “too badass” (whatever the hell that means) or even a bit Mary Sue-ish. The drama so far has a habit of putting her in a precarious situation and then reveal that AH-HAH it was actually all according to her plan and she knew about the bad guy’s intentions so she actually planned ahead and pre-empted it. See e.g. the episode where she knew the schoolgirl was the culprit, she was secretly filming the fisherman who threatened her, etc. I think it’s meant to show us that she’s clever, street smart, and a bit jaded/untrusting but the execution is a bit hamfisted and forced. Because it happens so often, it makes us (or at least me) feel “oh wow another ploy she predicted and foiled” instead of “damn she’s so badass.” But I suppose the drama writer did kind of subvert our/Ji Ah’s expectations in episode 3 where she got tricked by the old shaman lady with the tea. I will say though, it is a very nice change to see a smart and competent female lead. I just wish it was executed in a way that didn’t feel as forced.

Kim Bum as Lee Rang is...please don’t figuratively egg me...I am not impressed by the character or his acting choices. *ducks for cover*. Right now it’s just a lot of smirky smirky, look at all my perfectly white and aligned teeth as I get really close to you and make some sort of threat/taunt, smirky smirky, ok bye now. Also, he takes joy in killing people and seeing them suffer. How am I supposed to feel for him when that’s all I’m shown so far? Based on spoilers for future episodes, it seems that I may become a bit more sympathetic towards his character. However, as of right now, I DO NOT LIKE.

Anyway, this was longer than I intended and may come off as me being a hater. But like I said, I actually like the drama. I just think there are areas for improvement. I will be more than happy to be proven wrong by the drama.

Also, seeing all the nature spirits and mountain god stuff made me want to re-watch Natsume Yuujinchou and Inuyasha.