#actually kinda proud of this ok

[thewonderousjaysky]

never ending cycle of

BOOPS

[barghest-land]

RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO......!!!!!!!!

[minhmynchi]

don't let them see don't let them hear don't let them speak..... shield them from the pain

[caluupin]

Constellations 🌌

[pepperpixel]

Cronas…. A handful of cronas (And a couple ragnaroks) I drew..

[goofyg00p]

he married yippie!

currently drawing both sam and max but its 12:18 AM so ill finish tomorrow

[kathegoose]

The one rare fully-rendered image, for HALLOWEEN!!!!

I hate making backgrounds but I think I really slayed this one! I want to lick the floor AUUURGH the floor loojs so good

the thing i like about it is that many old animated movies had their bgs/unmoving objects painted and the moving stuff animated separately (in that drawn style), so that's why mimic and the cart he's pushing look stylistically a tad bit different from the bg!

OG image/inspo/reference, however you call it:

wow i sure manage to sillify him every time. that's my man!!! silly guy!

[roadcircuses]

gamzee again if u saw this before the repost no u didnt

[francy-sketches]

lmao I found a relic of my old joanna design with emo hair (that's how her grandkids got it) but it only exists in cat form

[yanderespamton78]

ive already shown this to anyone who actually cares pretty much loll (anyone following the addison arg) but i might as well post it on here

this is actually the first proper animation ive done :'D like other than this ive animated a ball bouncing but that was more to test the software than anything,, lucky for me i consume animation memes more than i consume water so i know the basics B)

[koushuwu]

Welcome to Valhalla, Baji Keisuke.

[leieryx]

SKETCHES YAY WAHOO FALLS OVER

[reinabeestudio]

Anyway, happy Valentine's day. Cantarella time (finally)

[thepartyishere]

This is long winded rant about Cogwheels by Akutagawa

I wrote this a while back in a fit of obsession over the irl Akutagawa (that will never go away). I'd consider it vague analysis/ summary and not 100% focused on the BSD character if that's what you're looking for. Tbh I'm practicing my analysis/ writing skills and I'm not very confident in them yet. All this warning, it's not actually that bad I think (hope), I just have high standards for myself.

Anyways this is for @twinksintrees who asked about it

PDF of Cogwheels by Akutagawa Ryunosuke that I used:

https://documents.pub/document/ryunosuke-akutagawa-cogwheels.html?page=1

Cogwheels is a fictional work by Akutagawa Ryunosuke, but it’s widely acknowledged to be a thinly veiled autobiography. It was written in 1927, the same year the author commits suicide. 

 The story follows the main character’s thought processes in his day to day life. The events that occur aren’t what captivates me, but the emotions and thought patterns described. The mood is consistently very alone, different, and other from the population. This feeling of otherness is furthered by the paranoia the main character is experiencing, which drives him away from the few people he knows and the various physical illnesses he struggles with. His thought patterns feel disjointed to the reader, containing lots of logical leaps. He'll notice a recurring theme or object, like seeing an airplane several times in different situations and become paranoid and obsessive over the meaning of it. Throughout the work these varying recurring themes seem random and unimportant to the reader until the climax in which the character goes on a walk and encounters each of the subjects of those recurring themes, which he had been perceiving as premonitions of insanity and death. The culmination of all the foreshadowed repetition and the subsequent breakdown he has as he believes he is dying breaks down the distance the reader feels to the illogical fears and thoughts. The paranoia becomes justified to an outside observer when it all comes together.

Cogwheels reflects Akutagawa’s deteriorating mental state, as he successfully committed suicide the same year it was written. According to his Wikipedia page, he had intensifying and persistent visual hallucinations throughout his life as well as anxiety. We’ll never know the specifics of his mental illness, but I believe liberties can be taken to apply the experiences of the main character in Cogwheels to its author as the story is mostly autobiographical. The main character’s thought patterns revealed what I interpreted as compulsions and possibly OCD (but I am not particularly knowledgeable on the subject), depression, paranoia and other symptoms I may not be able to diagnose. The way in which these experiences are written and the feelings the descriptions invoke could not have been done by someone who wasn’t experiencing those exact things. 

The story feels like a very honest look into how Akutagawa thought and his worldview. This was written as his struggles and illnesses (mental and physical) were coming to climax. Another detail that may be Akutagawa’s thoughts projected is that multiple times in the story the character wants to admit himself to a mental hospital, but, "to go there meant death to me." Akutagawa’s life was plagued by fear of inheriting his mother’s madness. She was admitted to a mental institution when he was very young. Toward the end of his life that fear only grew as well as, "a vague sense of anxiety about my own future," which is one main reason for his suicide, given in his suicide note.

Regarding suicide, I can't help but think of how Dazai and Akutagawa's roles are reversed in BSD as they are in real life. The author Dazai greatly looked up to Akutagawa and I wonder what he may have thought and felt reading the works of a similarly depressed author. He was very affected by Akutagawa's death, being around 18 when it happened (Akutagawa was 35). The authors really are very similar, their works known for being bleak. It’s as if everyone else can't see how horrible things are and they are uniquely miserable in the world. As I continue to learn about the two authors I hope to compare their similarities in writing style and lifestyle in more depth. 

Akutagawa also had connections to Junichiro, with whom he publicly disagreed over whether the content or the structure of a story is more important in writing. Akutagawa argued that structure, or how the story is told, is more important. Any relationships between the real life inspirations for the Bungou Stray Dogs characters interests me, and I find this opinion held by Akutagawa relevant to Cogwheels. The content of the story is the quite mundane and sad life of the character, while the descriptions of declining sanity and the emotions conveyed are what I believe make the work so compelling. I’d be interested in reading Junichiro’s work to compare how his preference for the content and plot of a story impacts his writing.

In Cogwheels, the character’s emotions are constantly being influenced by anything he may perceive as or relate to something negative. His “normal” thought patterns or casual day will be interrupted once he makes any sort of negative connection or suspicious observation. He will obsess over the meaning of it, spiraling into distress and anxiety. 

This is my favorite example of that:

""Asylum" was precisely what it was. I somehow felt something soothing in the rosy tint of the wall and relaxed at a table. Fortunately there were only a few other customers there. I sipped a cup of cocoa and started to drag on a cigarette, as usual. The smoke rose in a faint blue stream up the rosy wall. The harmonious mingling of the soft colors was agreeable to me. But after a time I discovered a portrait of Napoleon on the wall to my left and began to feel uneasy again. When Napoleon was only a student, he had written on the last page of his geography notebook: "Saint Akutagawa Helena, a small island." lt might have been, as we say, only a coincidence. But it must have made even Napoleon shiver eventually . . . Gazing at Napoleon, I thought about my own work. And there burst upon me certain phrases in A Fool's Life. (Especially the words, "Life is more hellish than hell itself.") And also the hero's fate in my Hell Screen-a painter called Yoshihide. Then.. smoking I looked around the cafe trying to escape such memories. I had taken shelter here no more than five minutes earlier. Already the place had undergone a complete change. What made me most uncomfortable was the fact that the chairs and tables of imitation mahogany did not go with the rosy walls. Afraid I should fall into an agony imperceptible to others, I tried to get out of the cafe by quickly tossing down a silver coin."

This passage shows how one thing (a painting of Napoleon) will remind him of something negative and cause a downward spiral that seems to contain leaps between subjects, and he becomes distressed. As a fan of the writing style, I especially notice and admire the way Akutagawa describes the color of the wall as soothing in the beginning, with pleasant imagery, then cites the colors of the furniture and walls as his greatest source of discomfort in the end of the passage. The character feels as though the very environment around him has turned against him, changing with his shifting moods. What was pleasant has become hostile, the outside mirroring his inner state.

The last paragraph of Cogwheels is something that has struck me since the first time I read it. It’s the character’s reaction to the climax of the story, in which he went on a walk and had a breakdown over the culmination of the recurring premonitions:

“It was the most frightening experience in my life- l haven't the strength to go on writing. lt is inexpressibly painful to live in such a frame of mind. lsn't there anyone to come and strangle me quietly in my sleep?”

I am reminded of what Asagiri said in an interview: “This story (Bungou Stray Dogs) is not for people who are good at living.” Akutagawa was also arguably not good at living, which creates a connection between the inspiration for the manga character and its reader that fascinates me. 

As much as I describe the thought patterns and paranoia in Cogwheels as something somewhat foreign, something experienced by someone who was nearing the end and reaching the height of their lifelong mental illness, I find some familiarity in it. Akutagawa was far from good at living and the lack of control and fear I sense in his life and in this story resonate with me. I’m drawn to the hopeless tone of his works and the tragedies of his life. 

Sources and Further Info:

Akutagawa’s Wikipedia page

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ry%C5%ABnosuke_Akutagawa

Some of his childhood and analysis/ comparison to Edgar Allen Poe

https://www.washburn.edu/reference/bridge24/Akutagawa.html

BSD Wiki for some of the relationship between author Dazai and Akutagawa

https://bungostraydogs.fandom.com/wiki/Real-life_References

A partial translation of the Asagiri interview  (@Popopretty1 on Twitter)

https://twitter.com/Popopretty1/status/16634469970163916

[moregraceful]

MONTANA ONYEBUCHI SIGNED AN ELC WITH ARIZONA COYOTES AND I’M SO PROUD OF HIM I COULD BARF!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!

Yotes fans you are getting SUCH a good one. I don’t have much lore about him, mostly just a vibe check, so here are my main facts you need to know about Montana:

1. Loves the boys. LOVES the boys. I think our coaching staff wished he had loved the boys a little less, because the way Montana loves is simply “I don’t like how you looked my small frail forward, so I’m going to kill you in real life.” He is so protective of the boys, especially of the younger guys. He had two years with Cuda (undrafted out of uhhh the WHL I think but this is also why I am barfing, because he was NEVER sure thing) and by year two he was like I will do literally anything for these guys. I personally loved that because I found it very sexy that his love language is murder. If you don’t like fighting and guys who take dumbass penalties, you will hate Montana, but his protective instinct is so strong and I think it’s delightful!!! I can’t even call him a goon really, because it’s never like he’s starting shit just to start shit, he’s not out here causing trouble for fun, it is ALWAYS because he took offense at how someone was behaving around his teammates.

2. He is so hot it is unreal. he had all of San Jose drooling. Our one (1) local podcast guy, a married dude with a kid, once interviewed him and started off the interview with “has there ever been a bad photo taken on you?” AND THERE NEVER HAS BEEN. (Montana took this comment SO graciously, he is an icon.) Like I try to stick to my age bracket generally but oh my god. He had the whole fanbase (there are about 10 of us) sweatin

3. TOTAL sweetheart with the fans. I never heard any fan talk shit about him in the arena, and the nature of the Cuda fanbase in San Jose is such that someone is always talking shit. To my knowledge, always willing to take photos, always willing stop and say hi, never out here with a huge ego, doesn’t take anything for granted. Just an enormous man with a huge heart who was really appreciative that San Jose took a chance on an undrafted overager. He will probably be like this in Arizona.

Tl;dr absolutely lionheart-coded, I hope he finds a king in Arizona!!! Sadly the rumor is that he did not want to stay in San Jose because San Jose would not let him play injured, which is. lol. why are they like this. I guess he did not appreciate watching his friends get the shit knocked out of them day in and day out while he could not protect them. I assume he spends a good deal of time with the Roadrunners, which is hilarious bc they are like the Cuda’s second (maybe first now that the Heat are in Calgary) biggest rivalry and he got into it with them five million times last season. But I truly truly wish him well and I am so proud he signed an ELC somewhere and I hope he thrives in Arizona. Also if he goes to Australia for the Global Series I will cry real tears of joy and pride.

[ironmanstan]

I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops