#actually no i am tagging this bc everyone needs to be in as much pain as i am rn

[apassingbird]

guess you could say it was a graveyard smash

[love-belle]

we caught that holiday glee !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it doesn't take a genius to know that they're actually the icons.

or

for when you want to spend all of your christmases with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

prequel - you got me thinking nonsense ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - hahahahaha hiiii!!!! im so SORRY for being absent i've been going insane over school 😭😭😭 it's all just a mess rn (IM IN LOVEEEEE I MET THIS GUY) and hopefully, i can post often but still, i can't promise anything!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES <3 i hope ur all doing okay!!!! i love u all so much :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,417,916 others

yourusername here's a lil carol i wrote it's abt u and me 🎀

11,628 comments

username SCREECHING TOO MUCH TO UNPACK

username no bc nonsense christmas is so

username everyone shut up im focusing on "i need that charles dickens"

username SANTA DOESN'T KNOW U LIKE I DO

username roman empire or roman empire??? yeah that's what i thought

username somebody sedate me im going feral over nonsense christmas lord

username i know l*ndo ascended to the nth circle of hell after hearing this

username I NEED THAT CHARLES DICKENS

-> username girly did NOT hold back

maxverstappen1 ears are bleeding

-> yourusername ur 26282837 messages crying about cindy lou who say something diff but maybe that's js me

-> maxverstappen1 SHUT

-> username nah cindy lou who is PAINFUL

username charles and y/n 🤝 "what if we hypothetically broke up"

-> username nah bc i KNOW those mfs giggle while writing songs together

username THE TSHIRT OH MY GOF

-> username need that for educational purposes

username "i've been there through the good and the bad" ur honour i am unwell

alex_albon THIS IS WHY HIS NAME IS "north pole💈" IN YOUR PHONE ??????????

-> yourusername says who

-> alex_albon don't gaslight me

-> yourusername gaslighting is not real ur js crazy ☺️

username the lore is revealing itself good lord

username i will never be as iconic as y/n y/l/n and i don't think i can be

username OPPOSITE OF SMALL?? BIG SNOWBALLS?? girl u used to sing for DISNEY

-> yourusername i js need to cut a few words off and then it's the perfect disney anthem wdym 🙄🙄🙄

-> username start "cutting a few words" and the whole song is GONE 😭

username i played this in front of my mom y'all what am i supposed to DO

username WHAT'S 12-4???? YEAH

lewishamilton certainly an experience listening to this for the first time, seb and i are proud of you xx

-> yourusername i love my unofficial parents thank u xx

username i am unwell.

charles_leclerc so proud of you mon ange ( my angel )

-> yourusername thank YOU for writing songs with me ☹️

charles_leclerc forever and ever in awe 🥰

-> yourusername i love you

username THE TSHIRT OMG

-> username it's a need fr

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 2,528,916 others

charles_leclerc we caught that holiday glee

tagged yourusername

comments are disabled for this post

[sisterofficerlucychen]

Do you think Tim and Lucy will get back together? If they do do you think it will be another secret dating era? If they get back together and he is still on patrol that would make him her direct supervisor again like he is now, do you think we would have a repeat of 5x12 or would they be able to date without one of them having to transfer? I think this time it should be Lucy changing jobs.

Do you think.Tim is actually going to get the help he needs? If he does do you think part of it is so that he can a better man for Lucy the kind that he thinks she deserves? Do you Lucy will get the help she needs? Sorry so many questions. Do you think the writers will go the route of having them date others before returning to each other or do you think it will be attempt #2 that will stick?

hi ♡ omg no pls bring ‘em all.

Do you think Tim and Lucy will get back together? 

yes, 100%. there’s quite a few reasons why i think they will: 

ngl, my favorite reason i talked about here but essentially the foreshadowing through parallels

aside from that, there’s a $$$ component. a big part of their viewership stems from chenford and they know this, they know what it means lol. to quote abril rodas: “that’s bad business” (to not get them back together) 😂

the tca interview where eric said lucy would “help bring out a lot of the best in tim to help him navigate that” — we haven’t seen this and even if it’s not lucy supporting him through this as a couple, i think it’s a step in the right direction. i think past the pain and shock and awkwardness of it all, lucy will worry and want to help when she sees how bad he's spiraling? that's who she is.

there’s far too many hints from the actors for it to be permanent like they all keep saying to have hope and that the finale will end at least with some resolution.

i am delulu and refuse to believe that five years of a slow burn ends here ✨ (i wanted to quote another character but i can't remember who said it lmao. but insert here that line about it not making a good ending to the story or something like that?)

If they do do you think it will be another secret dating era? 

idk but i want it 👀

here’s the thing, there’s so much we missed in their secret dating era. like i want more of them sneaking around and almost getting caught, trying to play it off but others starting to catch on, the reaction of everyone finding out they’re back together! oh! and an actual betting pool that we see this time????

plus it has the potential to make sense, i think? because it could be that they’re sneaking around because they’re still testing the waters and trying to figure it out again before letting everyone know.

If they get back together and he is still on patrol that would make him her direct supervisor again like he is now, do you think we would have a repeat of 5x12 or would they be able to date without one of them having to transfer? 

hmm, i’m not sure but you bring up an interesting point. i know eric said we wouldn’t see tim in metro uniform for a while and i thought that he was back in metro gear by the finale but he isn’t? which now makes me wonder if he ever will be? i have wonderings about this now lol. but anyway, i could see it going both ways? on one hand, i want to say it’d be a repeat of 5x12 bc its protocol but also, they’ve already been a couple before and worked together so idk what protocol is with that 🤷 

however, looking back at the s6 finale bts — tim’s in patrol uniform and lucy’s not? so there may be a chance that regardless if they’re back together or not, lucy ends up moving out of patrol and does make detective? because it's odd that tim, aaron, and celina are all in uniform while lucy and angela are not? like the only other reason i could think of for lucy not being in uniform but still on patrol is that she was undercover and got made/tagged in somehow to whatever's gonna go down?

Do you think Tim is actually going to get the help he needs?

god, i hope so. this poor man has had so much trauma in one lifetime. he needs to heal, he needs a break. i think it was confirmed in an interview or at least alluded to that he does? aside from what we see in the 6x07 promo with sus therapist hopefully. there’s so much he’s holding onto that i don’t think he’s ever fully processed any of it like the majority of his life has been to be in survival mode? 

 If he does do you think part of it is so that he can a better man for Lucy the kind that he thinks she deserves? 

yes and no. from how he broke up with her, i don’t see him going about getting help and healing for her, i think he’ll do it because he needs to. he needs to do it for himself, to heal from the scars he carries and forgive himself to see that he's worthy of so much. i think that would have been an entirely different conversation if he was gonna get help to be someone who he thinks lucy deserves. but i do believe he’ll become that person again though as a result from it. 

Do you Lucy will get the help she needs?

i also really hope so. lucy bottles things just as much as tim does except she does a much better job at hiding it because she comes off as such an open book that you’d never know. i think the break up will be the tipping point? ngl, i'm struggling a little more to understand her storyline because it doesn't seem as clear. we know it'll be regarding her mental health but i thought it was going to be fully kicked off with the shooting and then it wasn't? so i'm guessing the break up might be the tipping point? because there's so much she also hasn't processed that she really does need to. i also hope she's able to see the support system she actually has because they keep isolating her and she's not alone but she feels alone which is only going to be magnified by tim walking away (and likely? tamara moving out).

Do you think the writers will go the route of having them date others before returning to each other or do you think it will be attempt #2 that will stick?

i don't think so, at least i hope not. i find it really hard to imagine either of them dating someone else because of why they broke up like they didn't stop loving each other: tim walked away because he thought he was doing what was best for her and lucy was literally grasping for him as he kissed her goodbye. the fact that they were joking about grandkids on their second date, nonchalantly discussing their own kids when they lost jordy, they were building a future with each other. how do you move on from that when you found the person you want to spend your life with? i think attempt #2 will be the one that sticks but i don't think it's going to be easy or quick, there's so much pain there and aside from breaking her heart he also broke her trust but because of it i do think they'll come back even stronger.

[geodetojoy]

ALRIGHTY i am no longer busy so heres my full thoughts on Newsies :DDD

tagging @royallygray and @mysteriouswolf if yall wanna read :D

ok this shit got LONG so the rest is under the cut

GOD where do I even start its beautiful its wonderful its emotional i love it so much

Ill try not to copy my intermission thoughts too much (if you havent seen those here they are)

Ok lets talk about the history of it. A quick google search says its based on a strike in 1899, and Roosevelt ran for presidency in 1901, so we'll just say the musical takes place in 1899 too (correct me if theres a different confirmed time).

During this time, work conditions are absolute shit, monopolies and trusts are on the rise, and the concept of a union has recently emerged. I really didnt need to say much of this bc its apparent in the musical, but i love historically accurate stuff so deal with it /lh

And in the musical we see the beginnings of Roosevelt's trust-busting and ideas of social equality that he acts on during his presidency (it also kinda ties into his environmentalism stuff a bit too!)

And after reading up a bit on the strike the musical was based on, a lot of the effects of the strike in the musical were historically accurate too! the newsboys could sell back papers they werent able to sell on the streets, but the price was unfortunately not yet lowered. (also, the names of the publishers in the show are historically accurate as well!!! makes my little history brain happy :DDD )

SO whats the point of all of my rambling here?

people make historical art all of the time. we see it in musicals like Annie, Hamilton, and so so many more. obviously this goes beyond musicals here, but since newsies is a musical ill try to stay with that topic.

anyway, we learn about history to learn from it. we see these past issues that our previous generations struggled with, in these art forms as to be easily digestible, and we discover their solutions. we get to see the humanity behind the issues and the conflicts they faced to overcome them. and ofc its not the only reason, but one reason these stories are told with art is to bring attention to them. people are way more likely to listen to music than study a historical textbook. so, they make it entertaining. they make relatable and lovable characters. they make people care about the show and subsequently the issue itself. all of this is to explain how and why things that happened in history are bad as to never repeat them again.

We see these topics of worker mistreatment, corrupt businesses, child labor, gender/sex inequality, and the class separation all brought to the spotlight in this show, and it does a damn good job of showing the pain and suffering they cause. the story of this show is incredible and so very important to learn about.

OK now onto the actual musical itself im done nerding out

ive done a lot of charater analysis already in that intermission post bUT WHO SAYS I CANT DO MORE HAHA

im saving jack for last bc theres so much to unpack there

KATHERINE MY LOVE <3333

Everything about her being a girlboss absolutely remains the same shes INCREDIBLE

and holy shit PULITZER'S HER DAD???? i love her even more. she directly ran away from an easy life to follow her own dreams and pursue her own passion from scratch. incredible. inspiring. mwah

i also just love her personality. shes so bubbly and happy and passionate and bright and optomistic shes the best <3

oh god crutchie. hes absolutely my favorite btw im sorry everyone else i adore him <33333

GOD his prison song actually killed me. im fully dead. deceased.

THE NEWSIES ARE SUCH A FAMILY GAHHH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH RAHHHH

the sheer ecstasy i felt when he came back and hit Snyder with his cane i could not stop stimming MY BOYYYY

the absolute definition of sunshine character. he sees everything as glass half full and wants just the brightest future he deserves the absolute world

and ik i talked about it earlier but i adore how they take such a neutral opinion about his leg. people give him shit for it, and his brother beat them to a pulp. its just a part of him and they love his whole being, so why would they not love that about him too?

Les only got better as the show went on. i thought he was a smartass before LMAOO

AND THE DATE BIT??? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM???? AND IT JUST NEVER GETS BROUGHT UP AGAIN LMAO WHAT

i think the biggest change i felt towards a character was Davey

he grew on me soooooo much his character growth is everything to me

he went from trying to stay out of their business to teaching them what a union was to helping them start it to running it himself when jack ran off to convincing jack to come back when times got tough he is sooo important to the story

and to me. hes important to me <3

OH AND RACE

i saw people mention the name before but i didnt know which he was until they addressed him directly I LOVE THAT GUYYY

especially in king of new york hes got such a big personality what a silly guy

OK now for the guy the silly the mc jack

At the beginning he is entirely driven by both his love for his family and ofc his dream of living in Santa Fe, but atm hes just trying to get by so hes more focused on the newsies. but a boy can dream

then he gets all caught up in the strike business and only focuses on that for a while bc he wants to protect his boys

then shit goes south. they get essentially jumped, and crutchie gets hurt and arrested.

and he thinks, what was it all for? if he couldnt protect his brother (never living that down btw), whats the point of even trying to strike anymore

so he changes his focus back to santa fe. the one thing hes still got going for him.

and he gets confronted by katherine, les, and davey, and they knock some sense into him. stopping the strike isnt going to take away any of the harm done. the danger is expected, theres no way any of this could go down without some form of a casualty. so why not try to do something about it. the only way to make this situation better is to get back in the game and keep pushing for change.

and ofc the thing with katherine which ill talk abt a bit more later

in all of this, something in him changes. he dreamed of santa fe, a simpler life, one where he didnt have to worry about having to afford food and clothing for the next day.

but what he never considered was the loneliness. sure, he offered to bring crutchie and katherine with him, but hed be leaving behind so many more. and thats when he realized he never needed to get out, he just needed things to change a bit. and they did! because of the strike, living became so much more affordable. no it wasnt perfect, but it was enough to be safe and secure, just like he wanted. and he had his family beside him the whole time.

ill admit that before i sat and thought about it for a while, this ending was really unsatisfactory to me. i mean we got how many santa fe reprises? all for naught?

but in reality, santa fe would never be enough for him. hes just so used to this life surrounded by the people he cares most about and doing everything in his power to protect him, hed just be so bored, so understimulated, and hed just continue to yearn for more. that path of wanting would never come to a conclusion and hed live his life never truly being happy. so i really do thing he made the right choice in staying, because new york became his santa fe. he didnt need to seek it out, it came to him.

Ok now with him and katherine

ill start by saying i do really adore them. i feel like a lot of what im about to say might seem like i think otherwise, but i truly do think theyre very sweet

ok so every interaction of theirs in act one was. very uncomfortable to say the least. he honestly seemed really predatory at times and it just really felt like an old-timey romance where the girl doesnt know her worth so she flocks to any guy that shows interest in hr bc she thinks its her only purpose

now obviously that is NOT the truth, those were just my first impressions. Katherine is extremely capable of taking care of herself and deciding what is and isnt right for her, she likes jack purely because she can and does. she knows her worth and just likes him bc she likes him, no strings attached

i will say the first kiss kinda caught me off guard lmao. like i knew they were gonna be a thing but that is NOT how i expected that to go down. its likely just bc of my aroace-ness but i saw no sign of them actually getting together prior to that, aside from them being the main man and leading lady in the show so ofc they have to be together. i mean ig her reaction to him drawing her was a bit of a hint but still. ok maybe its just bc im demi. hadnt thought abt that until now. damn. is this a normal thing? maybe it is. maybe im being too harsh. idk lmao

anyway ill admit the kiss was successful in getting his attention and getting him to listen to her so ill give it that lmaoo but tbh i did tune a bit of their song out bc it started to make me a bit uncomfy but i did liste back to it later on. they really seem to have a healthy relationship where they both care about the other and know the other is strong enough on their own, they just both want to be a part of the other's life. its really sweet! theyre so supportive of each other!!! green flags all around!!!

the bit with him learning shes pulitzers daughter was really interesting to me. at first she tries to talk to him but he kinda brushes her off, but from then on he just kinda has full faith in her? i mean yeah he gets upset about it bc he thinks she lied to him, but i dont think he thought she had any ill intentions. that was a complicated sentence lmaoo damn. i think he really understood that she wanted to help, he was just caught up in a lot of Feelings and was afraid that she wasnt trustworthy despite him still trusting her. and then he let her explain and from then on they fully support the other and trust each other immensely

so yeah first impressions were a bit iffy but i think theyre very sweet <333

OK GOD CAN I GUSH ABOUT THE STAGE DESIGN FOR A BIT???? GAHHH

i mean the moving stairs and scaffolding arent new. i know this. but just the way they frame scenes with the scaffolding is stunning. the chase scenes??? dude. enthralling. the bits where theyre in the city and they have people just up their acting like civilians? SO cool. makes it incredibly more realistic and believable. and the way they projected images onto the curtain-like things they pulled down was extremely creative!!! like in theory its such a simple design. it was literally nothing more than the scaffolding and stairs, and a few tables and wagons and such in certain areas. but they did SO much with it it was hard to believe it took place on a stage. ofc the filming helps with that but still. the start felt like it was on the roof of the building bc of a combination of the lighting and the use of just one of the scaffolding pieces. and when theyre in buildings, the wall of scaffolding works really well as a backdrop!!! and i already talked about the city street scenes, it fits perfectly. god its so inspiring id love to be behind something like that one day

OK AND THE CHOREO??? the sheer ENDURANCE of these people HOLY I COULD NEVER. THE FLEXIBILITY? THEYRE ALL LITERAL GYMNASTS WTF ARE THESE FLIPS AND HANDSTANDS IM SORRY???? holy shit its all SOSOSO impressive

oh my god i havent even talked about the MUSIC yet

if i had to choose a favorite song, a, i would punch whoever told me that in the face, and b, i would simply combust bc i cant choose just one

my top three tho would have to be between king of new york, carrying the banner, and crutchies prison song (idk the name its not on spotify :'((((( ) in no particular order

i havent had them on repeat enough to have any memorized, but i did remember santa fe, carrying the banner, and the world will know from the last time i watched it and i belted along to all the parts i knew this music is so good at hyping me up I WANNA START A UNION

and oh my god katherines voice???? stunning. her song is sooooo good. her part in king of new york is incredible. i love her <3

jesus christ this post got out of control. im still not done lmaooo

ok one thing that really has nothing to do with the musical itself is just the fact that it reminded me of so many other musicals ive seen at specific parts, even some of the songs sound like others i know.

Santa Fe really reminds me of Maybe from Annie, both music-wise and lyric wise. i mean theyre both "i want" songs so it makes sense but i feel like they sound kinda similar too. honestly a lot of the music sounds like Annie, but maybe its just the types of instruments used and thats just how musicals sounded when they were made. i think they were made about the same time. *checks spotify* ok well the newsies i listen to was produced like 40 years after Annie so maybe that just a stylistic choice-

idk why but the beginning of watch what happens sounds like the intro to reginas speaking part in meet the plastics lmao-

oh and brooklyn's here has the same beat as the military from Seussical but thats just bc its a marching song lmao. its also the same beat as the spanish alphabet song my spanish teacher used to use!

ok and this one really doesnt make sense but something to believe in reminds me of the power in me from Twisted lmao- kinda similar message ig? and sound vaguely similar? but idk it really doesnt make too much sense

i should. i should sum it up. this is getting out of hand.

okay i love this musical sm. clearly. do you see how long this post is. i was missing out when i refused to listen to it previously. oh my god.

and for some reason it really makes me wanna go watch my favorite musical so im ending this here TO YOUTUBE I GOOOOO TY FOR READING IF YOU DID AND TY TO ROYAL FOR UNINTENTIONALLY PUSHING ME TO WATCH THIS HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hey bbg you are amazing!!

First just want to check in on how you’re doing, did you drink some water today? Did you eat a nice snack?

Second, I’d like to request a romantic matchup(I think that’s what it’s called) for TR, if you could please!

-I’m a guy

- im an artist, which means i have terrible posture and normally have paint or charcoal or hot glue somewhere on me(hands, neck, etc) and don’t have the heart to clean it off(unless im going somewhere i need to be clean for) because i like the feeling of being part of my art :)

- I cosplay(part of my art stuff ig) mostly one piece characters and I’m pretty good at it—I’m a huge anime nerd, and have memorabilia of it on shelves and on my ceiling(in poster form I swear I haven’t hung anyone from my ceiling yet) and I like to get dolled up on the occasion in my parents’ old Dean Martini Swank Fest outfits which consist of actual army clothing from WW2 and some stuff that makes me feel fancy

- I surf, on occasion, since I live on the west coast and have a habit of wearing a shorty wetsuit under my clothes if there’s any chance of me going near the beach

- I’m working on becoming a marine biologist, but currently I’m just volunteering down in Santa Cruz where I get to help people pet swell sharks and teach them about the animals we have there

-I know a lot about history, and I have some things from the olden days(ex a Japanese soldier’s Sabre from WW2 I got for my 15th birthday + a megalodon tooth + old jewelry

-definitely more of a yapper than a listener

-have to have music or AirPods in my ears 24/7 with some exceptions like my volunteering and my stuff

-very wide range of music taste

- I love thrills. Amusement parks, concerts, roller coasters, go kart racing, MOTORCYCLES omg that is my heaven

-I have a very low pain tolerance, which I am ashamed of because I’m as much of a crybaby as Takemichi…

-super supportive to women. I see one—> immediate compliments, smiling, giving them support or help if they need it and buying sanitary products for all my friends plus keeping them on me just in case

- not very good at taking care of myself, I’m a good cook and have a basic sleep schedule…but I spent most of my life hating myself and now it’s hard trying to get back and go a day without disrespecting myself.(I’m doing so much better than before don’t worry about me)

-physical touch, gift giving, and quality time are my ways of showing affection and appreciation

-I love video games and arcades, especially when I get to play with friends or loved ones

-I’m an Aquarius

-very clingy, but I’m patient so that’s a good thing

-cat person

-very jumpy and paranoid(my dads fault 😒)

-I married Harvey in my main Stardew Valley account(silly little doctor guy)

-decently good at insulting people or getting people to shut up

-my main use of transportation is biking, so I have “very nice leggos” -my eight year old neighbor who i taught to bike

-I’m good with kids as long as they’re not throwing tantrums

-I run out of social battery very quickly and I will just walk off in social gatherings if that happens(it takes 10-30 mins for someone to notice I left smh)

-will bake cakes for everyone’s birthday

-I really want a full leg tattoo of my favorite animal: a Siphonophore(look them up they’re freaky guys)

-ive got freckles, which im partially insecure about because people say freckles+round face makes me look like a girl so i get misgendered a lot(womp womp on my part i got all the bad genes from my parents—thankfully no addiction genes tho)

-I only allow one Christmas song—ONE— and that is Fairytale of New York by the Pogues bcs it’s so good

-avid shark defender + dolphin disliker

-cannot wear anything with a thick tag on the neck, I have to rip it out or cut it because it makes me want to remove my skin :)

I hope I didn’t forget anything or yap too much, love you Aly! You’re the best 😘

Hi! I hope you are doing well. I’m doing better. Making sure I’m hydrated and eating well. This was a good amount of information, but one thing is missing for me to match you up. Do you want matched with a male or female character?

[hoochieblues]

tagged by @aria-i-adagio, tysm! Tagging @highwayphantoms, @carabas, @1ichen and anyone else who'd like to play. No pressure :)

Do you play an instrument?

Not competently, especially since I fucked up my fretting hand. A little piano, some guitar. I'm terrible, but I have fun. Back in my 'I'm with the band' phase, I learned how to blow harp, which is a skill nobody really needs and is mostly about standing on pedals.

Favourite book characters?

Arrgh. I love many fictional darlings in many different media, in many permutations of be them/fuck them/eat them/fix them, so I'll pull out the most recent rather than choose. The Exorcist's Damien Karras (novel), the man so emo he's actually embarrassed to be alive, but who still finds optimism on the bleeding edge of duty (or does he?). Honorable mentions to Esme Weatherwax and Lady Sybil Ramkin, bc Discworld novels were a bright spot for me for years.

What’s your star sign?

Aries, but with an Aquarius moon (VIII) and Virgo ascendant (V). I used to make enough beer money off doing natal charts, palmistry, and tarot that I can explain what this means and why it both is and is not important.

Favourite colour schemes?

I am maximalist trash. Bring me your jewel tones, pair them with wind-bleached wood and copper flower pots and patchwork blankets. One day I'll live somewhere I can paint the walls and everyone will be sorry.

Naps or long sleep?

Long sleeps. I don't sleep well and I have chronic fatigue/pain/bullshit so I'm always tired. "Naps" are usually what happen when I black out and wake up with a panic attack bc I don't know wtf is going on, where I am, or potentially what species I am. One day I will try an intentional one.

What languages do you speak?

English. I read more than I speak in French, German, Italian, and Spanish, but I wouldn't trust myself conversationally unless the conversation is reaaallly simple. I once nearly got arrested in Germany in part due to this fact.

Dreams/aspirations?

I mean, not to get heavy, but... I just spent the past 4-5 years putting myself back together (the biggest WIP) after extensive trauma processing, and I would like the happy now, please. I dream of being able to live in the space I need with the ability to have loved people around me. I want bad movie nights and kitchen table pizza and reciprocal friendships and other things I've found hard to achieve (in part because the horrors. You know. They're endless.). People whose weirdness complements my own, and vice versa. I'd like to be better about not isolating myself, bc I'm humbled when I'm reminded people actually do like having me around. (Buuh???) I'd like to get off TERF Island and go somewhere that feels like home, but I'm sick enough that free healthcare (and being broke) restrains me.

I aspire to get off my ass and properly rebuild my life/career, including my writing. To share stories that people love, that I'm proud of and that were written without constraint, financial necessities, or house style guides. I'd like to make a difference in my community (to have a community to make a difference in) and enough land access that I could take on more of the "difficult" foster dogs I have to turn down bc space.

Long hair or Short Hair?

I wore it short when I was a kid (mostly bc it's very thick and curly and no one in my family knew shit about curly hair) but it's been mid-length for a long time now, mostly to provide a canvas for the colours I like putting in it. I think I'm going hot pink and orange next.

Tea or coffee?

I drink both and I have what is essentially Ely's big gay tea shelf from Go Fish (1994), plus I love my matcha, but lbr I mainline coffee by the quart (chronic fatigue again). I've never been rich enough to be too gourmet about much, but I love my single estate fair trade nonsense. I'm considering becoming fully insufferable and grinding my own beans. And yet, there's still a lot to be said for 4am greasy spoon coffee, so I guess I can appreciate variety?

Bring a book character to life or go into a fictional world?

Oooh. Tough. I had a Goncharov joke ready to go here, but I'll be good. Because I love Ray Bradbury and I also re-read Tom Reamy and Katherine Dunn recently (Blind Voices/San Diego Lightfoot Sue and Geek Love, respectively), I'm going to say I want to go into whatever weird shared universe spec fic authors were all creating in the 70s/80s, where magic realism was a thing and carny culture was repeatedly being used as a stand-in for non-exclusionary diversity.

The Howl's Moving Castle Principle probably applies here, too: take me somewhere I can consort with demons to get a well-cooked breakfast, flee from my problems, and somehow own my own home while refusing to do anything more constructive than be a sulking pile of slime. Seems reasonable.

[cquackity]

sorry for bringing it up again when its over and feel free to answer privately/ignore me, i just wanted to explain why i find the eret stuff upsetting. i think its fair to think c!eret didnt need an apology from wilbur; thats just not the entire picture of what eret fans see when people go after her for that stream so we might be a little defensive.

i think to me the issue is that c & cc!eret crit cant be separated-- after the apology stream i literally couldnt be on here because people were being so awful about eret and consistently c!eret neg is tied in with people being assholes to the cc. also to me it reads as disrespectful to place all the blame for disliking that stream on eret when wilbur was on that stream, participated, and co-wrote that lore. i have never once had to avoid the dash due to cc!wilbur neg the way i have for eret, and thats pretty telling. not that ccwilbur deserves that, just that its interesting how bad eret gets it in comparison. even the post-utah stream didnt make me as upset as the way people talked about eret did and i am by far more of a wilburian than anything else.

to me, the apology was more for cc!eret for how poorly shes been treated for the last two years and because the fandom treats wilbur (c and cc) like the ultimate moral & narrative arbiter (despite the fact that a key element of his character is being an unreliable narrator); only his apology would make people actually think about how badly eret has been treated. and then it all backfired and everyone was so heinous about it that it was genuinely painful to be on here as a wilbur and eret enjoyer.

besides that meta element i genuinely liked that stream and felt like cwilbur did need a knock in the right direction, as i felt much of the apology tour was an empty gesture that externalized his need for self-forgiveness. not that he deserved to feel guilty or that his apologies were hollow, just that he wasnt going about his efforts to forgive himself in a healthy way, and hearing from someone who already got through it was super helpful.

im sorry folks sent you awful asks (and im also sorry for vagueing, i just couldnt figure out how to lay out my own feelings) but to me it feels really hurtful to see people shit on eret, c or cc, bc shes worked so hard and was the key to a really core moment on the server and gets very little recognition for it from other ccs (constantly being shut out of lore) and from the fandom.

sorry if this is a jumbled mess feel free to ignore it i just wanted to explain a little bit

hello bell! thank you for explaining i genuinely do appreciate your point of view! there is a reason i didn't unfollow you for vauging me lul, i find you to be a reasonable person who has reasonable standpoints on things. but like this goes for everybody who sees this: if you have an issue with me, just send me an ask like this! or a dm. or whatever. i'd also like to think i'm a pretty reasonable guy. i'm also pretty sure i tagged that post with the proper tags to be filtered too? at least i hope i did 💀

first off i'd again like to reiterate that i have literally nothing against cc!eret. i never mentioned cc!eret in my post, i have never posted cc!eret neg before, and the only point i made was that i don't believe c!eret deserved an apology from c!wilbur. i had more good things to say about c!eret in that post than negative. what other people are saying, that's not what i'm saying. i think it's unfair to group me in with people who have/are posting cc!eret neg. at the end of the day even if that's what you've seen that's not what i was talking about in the slightest. regardless of what content creator made the decision to have c!wilbur apologize i think it's a bad one. i stand by that.

nor do i think that it's entirely fair to treat that stream as some sort of meta on the cc!s lives instead of the characters. i've just never thought about that stream like that before, and it doesn't really make sense to me to do so. if either cc!wilbur or cc!eret have alluded to the apology being more for cc!eret i would be open to seeing a clip like that

i also disagree with c!wilbur needing to be "knocked in the right direction" mostly because i think there's several other more compelling turning points for his character post-revival, but i do respect c!eret fans wanting to enjoy a moment between the two of them.

tldr; i wasn't talking about cc!eret at all, and it's unfair to take my words that way when it was never the intention, and not separate them from their original meaning. please separate my discussion of the c!s and the cc!s

[vacantgodling]

2022 Year in Review Tag!

thanks so much @magic-is-something-we-create i feel like this year has been a huge jumble ngl but let’s be positive about it lol :’)

also this is just a general list not top 5 cuz i didn’t do much this year

5 movies i watched

in terms of new movies:

american psycho — i actually enjoyed this movie a lot but it’s genuinely bc this movie is much funnier than i thought it would be. all deeper meanings and commentary aside patrick bateman is a fucking specimen

kwaidan — obsessed with this movie ngl. the first three segments are top tier (kurokami, yukionna & HOICHI THE EARLESS ESPECIALLY IF YOU WATCH NO OTHER PART PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE I CANNOT PRAISE IT ENOUGH). however the last one was super lackluster in comparison to the other three. tbh i feel like if the last one was the first one it would be a really good progression from okay to the best bc you really can’t follow hoichi the earless with anything imo.

tales from crypt (1972) — watched a lot of old horror this year (bc my partner is a horror movie buff and has been getting me into them for awhile now lolol) but this movie was a lot of fun! i want more ridiculous anthologies and movies tbh. make movies fun again tm.

jeepers creepers — never seen it before and MY GOD was screaming the whole time i was watching bc no?? we do not need to investigate you KNOW it’s a creature. all of this might’ve been avoided if y’all just minded your damn business 😔

then off the top of my head i rewatched my comfort movie sherlock holmes bc fuck iron man, rdj’s sherlock is his best role to me. i definitely wanna watch more movies next year.

5 shows i watched

ah i mostly just watched anime this year

chainsaw man — stressed. everyone is sketchy and i’m stressed

rewatch of demon slayer with my friend bc demon slayer is the only thing that matters :) finally have hulu so i can fucking watch season 2 i just haven’t gotten around to it yet 😭

way of the househusband — finally got around to watching the anime this year and just as the manga, it’s perfect

jujutsu kaisen — i love it but at what cost. also i’m a simp for nanami oof

death parade / nana — i’ve only watched the first episodes of each but nana stresses me out (lovingly) and i think death parade is fascinating i just need to make more time to watch shit lol

5 songs of 2022 (*separate from spotify wrapped*)

odo — ado -> got introduced to this song recently and just absolutely obsessed with it. it’s the song that may be sparking a change in one of my wips that i mentioned lol

devil — max changmin -> came out in january and this song owns the whole fucking year idc idc idc

go back — se so neon -> UGH THIS BAND their songs slap so hard but go back is genuinely just so good

濁 (daku) — the gazette -> this whole album. but i want this song directly injected into my veins.

better — boa -> CRACK. THERES CRACK IN THIS SONG. but boa >>>>>>

5 albums or artists of 2022

i don’t have 5 but these three specifically:

devil (the 2nd mini album) — max changmin -> this album owns my ass. cannot believe he started the year like this. how fucking dare lol.

the gazette, always my beloveds

lowlife princess: noir — bibi -> she snapped with this one. every song and mv snapped. bibi vengence & animal farm especially

5 books i read

definitely didn’t read 5 books lol didn’t have time or space mentally. however i will say i started to read bram stoker’s dracula this year, got stuck on the part about paprika, thought it was hilarious and never finished chapter 1. it’s super good from the bit i read so far, i’m just easily amused and don’t have patience 😔

5 characters from media

nanami (jjk) — feral about a man a single man

like everyone in demon slayer but tanjiro komado my fucking BELOVED 😭

hanzo (ovw) — 6 years strong obsessing over this man pff

link — i am once again pointing at my botw self insert au side blog lmaoooo

gojo / rengoku share a spot only bc i love them but ow pain :)

sorry i don’t listen to podcasts lol

and finally

5 positive things that happened in 2022 no matter how small:

got conveyor belt sushi for the first time! i wish it was closer by but maybe it’s better i’d be there every day

created a new writeblr so i could start getting more confident talking about my stories. i think it’s marginally worked! i’m working on myself still but i feel like i’ve been more open and indulgent this year

5 years with my partner!

had a pretty good birthday for the first time in years

despite the struggles working from home has done a lot for my mental health and i want to try and secure another wfh job in the future.

this is an open tag! i hope everyone had a decent year to some extent 💛

[kirider]

3, 6, and 13!!

3. your favorite piece(s)?

Have a bunch out of the ones I posted:

Card games which is one of the few pieces I actually finished, I really like how colorful it turned out and I'm pretty happy with how everyone looks. My only regret is forgetting Daichi from Ultraman X. Please pretend that he was late and joined them right after this picture

I really like this idk why but so many of the KiriEmu stuff I draw comes out so good? This one too for example. I think I'm just very biased towards this two and the pink and yellow color combo

I love this one because The First brainrot am I right /j But I really like how I drew them both (I do prefer the version of Ichimonji with the coat tho), and I need to reuse this pallette bc it's very good. I also need to draw this Hongo more. Gonna go draw him as soon as I finish this actually. Anyways, this is one of those posts that every time this pops up in my notifications I go "!!! :3"

Also self indulgent thing but bottom left of this page. I regret not posting it in the tags tbh, but I am very self conscious about self indulgent stuff so I got scared lol. I love how the pose came out and I love this two and I love that people liked this "story" enough to ask me about it. And a couple of people left very nice tags on it and man i love this fandom how are you all so nice

6. favorite thing to draw?

I love just doing characters interacting with each other, especially hugs and cuddles :3 I do have a bunch of poses that are just blank mannequins because I didn't know who to draw I just wanted to draw cuddles

If we're talking favorite characters to draw it's Amazon and Ikki lol

13. talk about a wip you like!

*slams fist of the table repeatedly * this animatic is taking so long and requires me to rewatch so many episodes from so many different series for references but I love it so much. The Revice part is the only one that I have finished the thumbnails for, technically the Geats one too is almost done, but for everything else I'm still just blocking in what happens. I just love working on animatics it's so fun, and it's so satisfying seeing the whole thing with the music. Everything before that is a giant pain in the ass tho lol. I have so many that I still need to finish

[intothegenshinworld]

-Challenge-

You have the opportunity to bring 15 items from Earth to Teyvat, when you are isekai’d to Genshin cult au. However, these commodities should be strictly exclusive to Earth, meaning that it cannot be something that can easily be replicated in Teyvat.

Create a list with the top (1) as the highest priority, and the bottom (15) as the least. Then, use a number generator to determine how many are isekai’d with you. For example, if you rolled a 6, then only your first 6 items will be waiting for you in Teyvat.

Pfooo- this was actually harder than I thought! At first I panicked because if it were ImposterAU I'd be in BIG trouble (mainly because I'd be unable to bring weapons. Teyvat has all weapons, and if they don't, it'd be easy to replicate,) but CultAU should give me some slack,,, right??

Anyways, I rlly liked this, I'm tagging other people as well, feel free to join me!! @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me @myxxei0 (< I feel like you'd have the best and craziest answers) @greenteaanon @mayullla @/everyone who wants to join

IF I TAGGED YOU AND U DON'T WANT TO JOIN THAT'S POG AS WELL <3 no worries, :D I just thought it was fun to do!!

Laptop

I chose a laptop specifically because the Dodocommunication device is a replicated form of a phone, so I wouldn't be able to bring one of those. But laptops are harder to replicate? I'm p certain that there are no TV's or computers in Teyvat yet!!

2. Chicken nuggets

Should this be my priority? No.

3. A different breed of dogs

Maybe a feisty chiwauwa that steals all my affection and time. 10/10 best method to make people jealous. Bonus points if the dog only loves me and barks at the acolytes when they want to try and talk to me

4. A science book.

I know khemia and alchemy exist, but our technology is more advanced(?)/different than Teyvat's. If there is anything special in a thick science book, it might boost Teyvat's knowledge! I would only give it to Albedo though. If it falls into the hands of dottore or marionette I'd have caused the world's end

5. Antibiotics/One of those basic headache pills

They probably don't need to exist due to healers in Teyvat, but perhaps it might boost the medical knowledge of Teyvat? Perhaps it's more accessible? I get pains a lot so it'd be nice

6. Mp3 player

Easy accessible music. Even if there's only one song on it, it will bring comfort.

7. Headphones

Pretty sure these don't exist yet? Not the ones for music at least. I'd need it for the mp3/laptop to fully access it.

8. Any religious books

If the cultAU gets too much for me, I'll use any religious book (from Earth) in my advance! I'll try and make them believe that I'm human instead of some deity. Tbf this could backfire REALLY QUICK but it's worth trying as a plan-B

9. Smoke bombs

This might be cheating because it's easily re-creatable, but I feel like it wouldn't be created unless I'd bring one? And I'd be LMAO when I drop one of them smoke bombs near Jean. She'd get flashbacks to Klee's bombs and I'd like to keep them on edge at times.

10. Bubblegum

P sure it'd scare at least one person when I pop it

11. Merchandise

Specific movies/mascots can't be recreated in Teyvat. I really like the rilakkuma bears so maybe I bring those? It's not to benefit of anyone besides my own comfort

12. Megaphone

Can I bring this one anon? It might be easily replicated but I doubt anyone would-- should they see the chaos it brings

13. One of those furbees

If only to freak them out :)

14. Anything Dinasaur related

Perhaps dinosaur nuggets? I'd convince them that it's a small breed of animals that used to be REALLY big but now we eat them for dinner with ketchup

15. A body pillow of one of the character

This would've been higher on the list if I actually had the guts to walk around with a body pillow. Bonus points if it's Dainsleif (bc he hates gods doesn't he? Would be kinda funny imo)

OKAY NOW RANDOM NUMMER!!!

I'm so sad I couldn't bring the furbee but at least I'd have some chicken nuggies :) THANKS ANON! This was fun and chaotic

[scover-va]

ok i havent been able to get the idea of an dnd-styled rpg inscryption/the hex au out of my head and it's physically paining me at this point (/j). So, I'm making you fuckers deal with my ramblings bc tumblr's just become a place for my to spit out ideas so they'll stop taking up space in my brain. So! Ramble under the cut since I'll be main tagging this bitch for organization purposes

So main character would be Inscryption's Challenger, and I'm thinking maybe the entire party of em is just. Different versions of the Challenger designs in Inscryption? Either that, or the Challenger is accompanied by Luke, Kaycee, and Lionel. Not Carla tho, I got villain plans with her. Tempted to go with the several Challenger designs idea, but then I'd need to come up with names, so. Y'know.

I dont know how im gonna have the world set up, but I'm thinkin the Scrybes now have land they rule over? Maybe not kingdoms for all of em, but yknow. Only issue with that is that I'd need to figure out how to fit the hex characters in, so what I'll probably do is just having them having authority in smaller areas. So like, taking inspo from Leshy's ties to Slavic mythology, he'd be king of the forest. Grimora might be an infamous necromancer, I havent fully figured these guys out yet.

But i DO have six other characters figured out so ohoHO buckle down, everyone.

Because I refuse to change Rocky's general appearance if I dont have to, Rocky was kidnapped from a young age and experimented on. By who? I'll figure that out eventually. Anyways, so in those few years, Rust was searching for him day and night, and eventually found the people that took Rocky. I have him planned to be a rogue in the rpg au, so yknow. Breaks in, kills some people, has a very heartfelt reunion with his kid, while also. Internally being very fucking angry that these assholes experimented so goddamn much on a child. He got Rocky out safe, and they're now travelling the lands for a place to call home, while Rust is. Also looking for the people who were running the operation, since they weren't there. I am. Considering making Reggie and Jeremiah full on villains for this. So. We'll see what happens. Other idea is Irving and the Gameworks/Gamefuna. I'll figure that out later. Rust and Rocky will aid the players in exchange for helping Rust find the people who hurt his kid. Rocky's completely unaware of how much his pops wants revenge, and really just wants to find somewhere safe to call home. Too bad years of separation affected Rust so poorly

Next up, ex-sorceress Chandrelle, who now claims to be a warlock. She's a lone traveller, and doesn't answer when asked what god she draws her power from. I'm still trying to work out how she got stuck with Vallamir, so that'll be a future ramble. But yeah, she's stuck with him. Her questline would probably have something to do with getting rid of Vallamir, but another idea would be her looking for Lazarus. I'll figure out the separation lore when I have the Vallamir lore figured out, but they got separated, and Chandrelle hasn't been able to find him. Actually I could probably make these work as one big questline tbh. We'll see. I'm thinking maybe Chandrelle got into a dangerous battle, and in order to ensure she'd be safe, made a deal with Vallamir for more power in exchange for being possessed and used at will? Anyways, yeah ok im running with this idea, big battle happens, but even tho Chandrelle's safe, Lazarus! Is not. He ends up getting taken, and now Chandrelle's just looking for closure, wanting to know what happened to him.

Next up, Lazarus! So yeah, he got taken, and I'm thinkin it's gonna be Gamefuna for this one (Gonna rename it tho so it doesnt have game in it. Name's a work in progress). Anyways, they forced him to train to be a ranger instead of a paladin, and im thinkin the organization thingy does have smth similar to guns? I'll work out the details for the weapon later. So, eventually, Lazarus manages to just barely escape, and is. Kinda on the run. Moving as far as he reasonably could from where he was, he finds an abandoned temple, and fixes it up a little, now teaching swordfighting to aspiring paladins, or just anyone who wants to use a sword.

And lastly for those I have figured out, Pike! An ex-cleric, Pike served under the wizard Magnificus, having been one of his pupils. Not sure if I'm keeping the torture trials or not, but Mags still treated his students like shit, and Pike's interest in magic started dying down when she saw some knights in passing. Deciding she wanted to be a swordfighter instead, she ran away from Mag's lands, and started training to be a swordfighter, residing in a somewhat nearby village. And one day, while picking up some food from the market, Lazarus saw her training in a nearby field. And. Well. She was doing horribly. He had walked over and gave some pointers, and it eventually just led to her being one of his students at the temple. Pike having Lazarus as a mentor is completely self indulgent on my part bc I think it's cool and funky. Go funky sword people go!!

So, jotting down some ideas for Sado and Carla, im thinking Carla's an artificer, and one of her experiments eventually led to creating Sado (censoring it bc tumblr's a bitch and i aint typing dark clown you-know-who every time). Dunno the specifics, but she does have a huge fucking grudge against Lionel for smth, and just kinda. Wants him fucking dead, whether she kills him or Sado does. So yeah, she created Sado, basically making a chaos incarnate. Sado's a mix of a rogue and a wizard, running purely on magic, so she's able to bend reality quite a bit. While Carla spends most of her time in her workshop, Sado is constantly causing issues. So yeah, those two are, like, the big bads.

I'll make more posts with more ideas later, and add in any doodles I make, but thats what I got rn

Edit: Sado's safe to mention, just cant tag her, so i fixed every mention of her <3

[aliwritesss]

~ Labyrinth

Pairings: Eric x reader

Genre: fuckboy au!

Warnings: angst, slightly suggestive, slow burn, swearing

Based on this AU! Highly recommended to read it before you start the series, but can be read alone.

1/? Masterlist

-“… And remember! The deadline for the essay is in three weeks.”- You hear your History teacher’s voice but no one listens to him. The bell just ringed and that meant freedom.

-“ It’s Friday!!! Let’s do something fun.” You hear Kevin’s voice next to you. You thank the heavens and stars to have him in your life, you don’t know what you would have done without him all this time.

-“ What are you thinking?”

-“ Well… You know, everyone’s been on the edge these past months with the exams and all. So Juyeon thought I’d be fun to do a small gathering, only close friends.” He says with the smallest voice and you feel all your body tense up. If you knew one thing is that you couldn’t go to parties, not yet. Not when it’s been so long since you’ve seen him and you’re actually starting to move on. To wake up and not think of him.

-“ It sounds fun! But I think I’m gonna pass this time, I better start working on this assignment.”

-“ Cmon (Y/N), it’s been a month. You gotta go to your old self, I miss you. I miss us having fun.” It pains your heart to hear Kevin, you’d love to have the balls to go to their dorms and be yourself, to dance again till you can’t stand up, to laugh freely but you feel that the spark inside of you has died and you’re afraid that if you go, it won’t light up anymore.

-“ I promise you I’ll go back to my old self. You’ll get back your partner in crime, my little moon.” You say hugging him and exiting the class. -“ Just give me a little bit and you’ll get back your star.”

-“ The world better get ready once the moon and star duo comes back.” He says giving you one of his best smiles and you feel a little bit better. You’ve known him for so long and clicked since then. One day you two were in class and someone said you looked like the team rocket from Pokémon, always together being mischievous. And since then you baptized your friendship as the moon and star duo.

As you walk outside you feel his comment nag you in the back of your head. “Why do I have to feel so bad when he’s doing fine? Was everything a lie? Did he truly love me?” These thoughts have been bugging you lately and you’re starting to get annoyed. You thought you were doing fine but sometimes these dark clouds will come and shake you down. And it seems like today was one of these days.

“ So… Juyeon is doing a gathering huh? Do you realize that it means half of the campus is going, right?”

-“ Yeah… We told him only close people and Changmin said that meant around 50 friends.” He says, rolling his eyes. -“ Thank god we have Sangyeon and Jacob to keep him in check or else It’d be a nightmare.” And that makes you laugh because it’s true, you remember one night you were staying the night in their dorms and suddenly Sunwoo and Chanhee started arguing about the smallest thing. Sangyeon only needed to look at them to make them stop. It was so funny, you don’t want to mess with an angry Sangyeon to be honest.

-“ And… Here we go. I knew it.” You hear Kevin’s annoyed voice. -“ They’re asking me to buy drinks, it seems like more people are coming tonight. I have to go now bubs, but we should do something fun this weekend okay? Just the two of us.” He says while hugging you and you nod. Maybe that’s what you need, to start slowly coming out of your cave.

You start making your way to your dorm thinking about the million things you have to get done in these two weeks and you can feel your anxiety already coming. The pressure you’ve been feeling these past few days it’s getting worse everyday. And the worst of it, it’s that you don’t have anyone to talk about it. Unconsciously, you touch your necklace, feeling a little bit better. You look down to the tiny shiny star and remember the night he gave it to you.

-“ I’ll be your star, ready to guide you even in the darkest times, even when there’s no moon shining.” He said softly in your neck. You smiled at him and looked at the charm. It was a little star filled with crystals. Stunning.

-“ When you feel like giving up, remember that I’ll be here with you. Faintly.” Eric said, touching your necklace.

“Where are you now? Where are you now when I need you the most?” You think for yourself, It’s not like you weren’t starting to move on from him, which you are doing. But you were not forgetting him, and you wish you could.

You wish you could erase all these sweet moments, act like nothing happened. Act like him, cold and unbothered. Why did him have to play you? Was everything a lie? Everything he said, was just a trap to only have fun with you? You couldn’t trust your memories, it seems like you only could remember the good ones.

But what about that night you two had a fight on a party because he was with this girl, laughing and talking the whole night while you were alone? You still remember his words: “ Stop being a pain in the ass, if I wanted to hook up with her dont you think I would have already done it?”. And you being a silly naive girl in love, acted like it didn’t hurt you. Like he didnt had the power to destroy you in matter of seconds if he wanted.

And that was the reason you broke up with him.

Everyone knew you were his girl and god forbid anyone who dared to touch you. But that’s it, you were only that, his girl. He didn’t bother to put a label, you were there for him and that was enough.

-“ Eric what are we doing?”- You asked him the night you two broke up.

-“ What do you mean?”-

-“ What are we doing together? What is this? Are we exclusive? Are we truly in a relationship?”- You asked trembling, you weren’t ready to hear his answer.

-“ Not this again (Y/N). I told you I don’t want to talk about it and you keep bringing this up. I said you are my girl and that should be enough.”-

-“ But it isn’t. It isn’t when there’s a queue of girls waiting for you to get tired of me and drop me like a toy. And I had enough, I need to know what I am to you.” You said sitting in his bed.

-“ You are making me tired with all these questions. I said drop it, (Y/N). You know how I am and still chose to be here with me.”-

-“ I chose you bc you said that you couldn’t do this without me, Eric! You told me that I was special and-.”

-“ So? That gives you the right to be called my girlfriend?”- And that was the last straw. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, it’s like someone snapped you back to reality. Like you just woke up from a beautiful dream and got hit with the true world.

He loved you, but not in the right way.

He cared about you, but not enough.

You got dressed and started to pick yoiur things while crying. You needed to get out as soon as possible, even if it was 3 in the morning.

-“Cmon (Y/N) don’t be like this. I got mad and you know I say things I regret later. Please let’s talk in the morning when we are calm, okay? Babe please-“

-“ Don’t touch me, Eric. I’ve had enough. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep falling in love with you more and more when we are not in the same page. Not even in the same book.”- You said putting on your sweatshirt, well, his sweatshirt now yours.

-“ Are you serious? Are you going to be like this? After all we’ve been through?”-

-“ Exactly, after all we’ve been through you still think I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend. And let me correct you, you’re the one who doesn’t deserve to be my boyfriend. I’m tired of your shit.”

-“ I know you’re angry (Y/N) but I swear if you leave this room that’s it.”- He said staring at you. You gave him one last smile and closed the door. It was so late at night and you decided to bring this topic up… That was a stupid move of you to be honest, but it needed to be done.

You can feel your vision getting blurry with all the tears falling but you don’t care anymore.

-“ Star? Is everything ok?”- you feel Kevin’s sleepy voice coming from the other side of the hallway and you let out a sob. -“ Hey, Hey. What happened bubs? Why are you crying? Where’s Eric?”-

-“ I… I- I think we just broke up.” You said hugging him and starting to sob even harder.

- “ Oh gosh…” He said quietly while stroking your hair.

And after that everything was a blur, you only remember him and Haknyeon taking you to your dorm and sleeping there. Everyone knew what happened because they heard you two arguing but no one could bring the topic up. It was typical of you two to argue, but in a matter of hours everything was cleared. But this time was different and both of you knew it.

This time the damage was done and there was no going back now.

A/N: So it’s finally here!! The first chapter of this little series. Thanks to all of you for liking so much the AU and for telling me what you preferred to see on this series. It’ll be after the break up, but I thought it’d be nice to have a little context of why did the discussion happen and to see the dynamic of the relationship. Honestly speaking, I love Eric’s fuckboy vibes so much.. But still it pains me to see him acting this way :( I apologise for any typo or mistake! And remember you can ask in the comments or dms to be tagged and that requests are open!!

TAGLIST: @asherbl @fairycob @givememunjang

[kittenofdoomage]

Happy Birthday to my blog, seven years ago today I started out in this strange wilderness and it's only gotten stranger 👍 nearly 700 stories and over 3.3 million words of fanfiction.

I was just going to leave this as a happy birthday blog post but I feel like I've got a few things I need to get off my chest, so this is below the cut, I know not everyone wants to or particularly cares to read it so there's ya choice 🤷‍♀️

There's no big announcements here FYI. I'm just doing what my friends have told me and putting my thoughts down on paper.

Some of you may have noticed I'm not posting anything on Tumblr anymore. The lack of interaction (comments, asks etc.) has just really put me off putting anything on here because it doesn't really feel like anyone either wants to read it or wants me around anymore, and I'm not gonna beg for attention. I'm not surprised, to be honest, my whole life I've been a square peg in a round hole. People just don't want me around - it's not just online. In real life there's exactly one place I feel like no one wants me to leave and that's in my house, with my family. I've just always been an odd person, and there aren't many people who vibe with me, it's cool, I've accepted it. But I'm not gonna be opening myself to that discomfort or pain anymore. My fics are all on Ao3 and I'll continue to post on there, my Tumblr will remain but I can't find the strength to get excited about something and then deal with the crushing feeling that no one wants my work. TBH I barely check Tumblr that much anymore bc I only come on here to check messages (usually from Beka, who knows all of this already but if you're reading this, thank you for listening to me and being patient with my mental breakdowns). My asks are staying off for now (sorry, Heart Anon, I love you, I've no idea who you are but please know you've been a light in my life and I appreciate you so much, and Marie, you have also been a beautiful friend with your daily gifs and hearts) but my PMs are on, just don't expect an answer right away.

I turn 35 tomorrow. It's been playing on my mind a lot, especially since my life expectancy ain't looking too good lol. I don't really have much of a life outside Tumblr. I'm a pretty boring person actually. Writing was the way I expressed myself and I truly enjoyed interacting with people who liked my stories. During the pandemic, it's been a way to keep myself focused and keep from slipping into the dark places we're all too familiar with. But there have been occasions lately where writing has been the cause of a slip into a dark place. And that's not healthy, and I need to work on it. I feel this is the time to stop forcing myself to write, seeing as I can't do much of it with my tiny human home for the school holidays.

My Patrons don't need to worry, I've still got material to share, it's a commitment I intend to honor because really, writing is the only thing I have, the only thing I feel I can do well and I am so, so, so, appreciative of every single person that supports me. I can't have a regular job right now (I hope that will change at some point because I've worked all my life until I got sick and I hate it) but you guys have given me a thread of independence, of dignity, and I value every one of you so much, those who have supported, who continue to support and who do so in the future.

I know this won't get absorbed, because it never does but those of you who read on Tumblr... please share the work you like. Set up a separate blog if you're too embarrassed to share on your main, make a reblogging blog, send asks, whatever, just please tell your author how much you liked what they did. I can assure you, those authors are waiting for it. We work so hard on what we make, what we create, we want you to scream from the rooftops. It doesn't even have to be coherent, we love all the feedback, we crave it (as long as it's not just a demand for part two, even Thor learned to ask for more without being rude about it, everyone else can). Without it, we're like plants without water. We don't feel the want to create anymore. And that's kinda where I'm at now. I don't want to lose my passion for my art but when there's nothing to do it for, sometimes it's out of our hands.

So, that's where I'm at. I'll probably lose followers (though I've already lost 250 in the last two months so that's not a surprise) and if any of my Patrons feel like my statement is unacceptable, that's fine. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I just wanted to put my feelings down, to be honest with everyone. And I have.

I don't want the list of stories to end at 700. I want to keep creating stories that everyone will enjoy. I really hope things with change, even if not for me, then for the others out there who are on their creative journey.

Much love to everyone, stay safe xxx

(this post will remain untagged so it will not show in searches and I'm not tagging those people who I have spoken to about this and my feelings in general, as they know who they are, and they know they're very special, amazing, and appreciated people to me. I don't particularly care if this gets reblogged or not.)

[cartoonemotion]

i was a bit confused by other people’s confusion as to why chuck started acting a lot more humbled and, honestly, a bit more soft spoken and nice after his face-turn, and this post poses basically all the things i was thinking about the reasons as to why, BUT ! am i still going to make a sprawling post talking abt how i think its all these reasons kind of interlocking ? Absolutely I Am

anyhoo. as i saw some point out again in the tag chuck is a kind of "might makes right" kind of guy-- but it's not just the strength that makes chuck so fervently loyal to him, it's his (percieved) guts and determination to take what he wants and needs, and we kind of see chuck trying to emulate that quality. he tries literally everything he can think of to get the great leader to come down and do his cool great leader stuff; getting literally severed in half and captured overall doesn't stop him, he goes above and beyond any generic grunt alien by not only getting the leader down here, but by destroying the morale of the hero ! (that line he says that everyone thinks theyre the hero in their own story is interesting, though. might return to that separately some day)

that being said, i think also it's interesting that when the great leader turned out to be a coward, chuck still tried to cling (somewhat literally !) to his faith in the great leader and his sort of place in his grunt alien status. i think it's when the great leader kicks him off of the platform and leaves him for what one might assume to be dead is when chuck really starts having everything sink in for him; bc the other thing chuck really seems to like/want is validation, from those he looks up to specifically. he thinks the great leader will reward him, yes, but it seems like even more than physical reward, he wants praise. he wants his great leader to see him as special, and maybe for the others of his ilk to idealize him similarly to the way he idolizes their leader-- i think it’s fair to assume chuck and his peers werent afforded much in the way of individuality.. i cant provide screencaps bc netflix hates me, but in the scene where his leader shows up, he goes from “it’s me, chuck” to “er-- well, i’m the one who called you...” when the ol’ GL gives him something of a withering look for providing a name... and he specifically says “i don’t wanna be stuck chuck anymore” to him before his leader kicks him off and leaves him for dead ! the text... * chef’s kiss * Delicious

so, seeing as chuck kind of polarizes-- the GL and his army are all abandoning cowards, while The Kid (who saved him, that’s likely still fresh in his mind too) turned out to be more true to the idealizes chuck was prizing in his leader this whole time. i think his next logical leap is to try to think, well, where does kid exactly get his bravery and determination from ? we as the audience get to figure that there’s a couple of different contributors to this, but with the time that chuck’s spent with kid, he knows kid adheres very strongly to the idea of your classic comic book superhero (even if the kid’s understanding of what makes a hero is also a bit misinformed, but, if youre reading this youve already seen the show, you know how kid grows. thats a different post). and we know hes also been reading quite a few comics, so he knows what their idea of a hero (and a heroic subordinate) are: brave, confident, charismatic, magnanimous... in a word, nice !

also, chuck brings up that speaking english without his little doohickey is painful for him.. whether he meant physically painful or in more of a sense of his pride, both seem equally likely to me, but ! the point still stands ! it’s hard to do the kind of long, pithy comebacks and verbal take-downs hes been trading with people if speaking hurts him. and while he did say the pain was one he would endure for the sake of the kid, at the end of the day, saying the nice thing is 9 out of 10 times a whole lot shorter than the mean thing

with these last 2 points though, i think chuck-- while actually committed to being reformed and a good guy now !-- has a lot to learn about what’s actually the spirit of good-guy-ness vs the form. he still has little hints i feel like (his little cry of “you disrespect Kid Cosmic !!!!” felt very reminiscent of the way he talked about his old leader i feel like, and when he, oh yeah, SHOT A TRUCK. WITH A REAL GUN. LOVE THAT THEY LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT ONE, CRAIG AND CO) that shows a lot of his “niceness” now is emulation vs actual true understanding of how to be nice. i’d hope we’ll see him learn the actual difference and better ways to grow and be a good person onscreen, but also since s2 will take place 6 months after the final confrontation of s1, it might not happen..

maybe we’ll get allusions to it though ! in either case i would love to see chuck having to learn to actually mind his manners around people who aren’t the kid, or really the other Local Heroes.. i feel like papa g and rosa would both be great for him to have those interactions/lessons (papa g has that vibe and was actually one of the first to be willing to take a chance on chuck, and rosa is 4. you met a 4 year old ? Yeah) regardless ! chuck :]

[yiqiie]

wangxian fic rec list pt.2

you can find part one here!

as usual, this will be kept under a keep reading so it doesn’t clog up the dashboard. i actually reblogged my original post and added to it then accidentally deleted it but i have a crap ton more recommendations anyway! there’s a lot of angst in this list because apparently i love putting my heart through a meat grinder 

there are some heavy fics included this time, but i really wanted to include some that explored the issue of mental health and recovery, especially in these difficult times, so make sure you look out for the TW if those fics aren’t your cup of tea 

since tumblr’s new update prevents posts with links from appearing in the tags, i would really appreciate if people could reblog so anyone who needs a fic rec can see this! 

notion summary page: here (i only put my favourites in this tumblr list, so if you would like even more recommendations, please read the notion summary for basically all of my bookmarks on ao3) 

something to make your heart ache

tempo rubato by @spodumene 

angst, fluff, smut, multi-chaptered, modern au 

guys when i say this fic changed my life i really mean it i think i binged it all within a single night and luckily the last chapter came out the next day and i literally was beside myself with excitement; it is heartbreaking and so beautifully written, i keep going back to read it again and again it’s just THAT good 

complementarity by @besanii​

angst, fluff, multi-chaptered, cql au

i’ve always been a fan of beth’s works (if anyone wants to screech with me about her shattered mirror’s fic I AM HERE) but this was so much angst i literally felt my heart cave in on itself like it was actually painful holy shit she is such a compelling writer and this is one of my favourites even though it HURTS ME 

and here comes the summertime by ribena 

angst, fluff, multi-chaptered, modern au 

LWJ PLS USE YOUR WORDS FOR ONCE this is peak lwj being a dumbass guys i really can’t with this boy but this is such a cute fic of wangxian falling in love and you can really see how they genuinely go from being two people who have no chance of being anything to SOULMATES 

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie 

angst, trauma, modern au, trigger warning: suicide 

this fic rec is gonna kick off some of our heavier recs for the list; yiqie is definitely one of my favourite ao3 writers and i am really excited for the next update of this fic, it deals with some really important mental health topics and it doesn’t shy away from the reality of how scary things can be. i’ve personally been thinking a lot more about mental health in general during my time in isolation and it’s gotten me to reflect more on my own wellbeing as well. this is beautifully written, and obviously it’s not going to encapsulate everyone’s personal experience but i think it’s a great step in recognising that mental health is real and something we should be looking out for

there’s no promised goodbye here by @yuisakii​

angst, fluff, trauma, modern au, trigger warning: mental health

i saw this fic on twt and i thought it was gonna be a short cute wholesome fic about wangxian being broken up but not really bc wwx is dumb BUT this turned out to be so much more and i’m so appreciative; it portrays not a perfect relationship but one that is under the works and one that will undoubtedly require much more work in the future but it’s reality and it’s true and i think that makes it beautiful, there are discussions of mental health and how that affects relationships and how people learn to put themselves back together again with love and support and i think that’s the best part of this fic 

take yourself home by ribena 

angst, fluff, trauma, multi-chaptered, modern au, trigger warning: suicidal ideation 

this was a surprising fic i didn’t expect it to be as heavy as it was but it was beautifully handled and it’s so important to me to see mental health depicted in different ways; everyone deals with their problems in a different way and someone is struggling could seem objectively like they’re doing okay and i think it’s great that there’s a fic that recognises that, this also gives a little spotlight on the things that people use to try and cope with their wellbeing, it could be the smallest thing but a lot of the time that’s all it takes 

some things go forward by everythingispoetry 

angst, fluff, trauma, multi-chaptered, modern au, trigger warning: medical recovery 

this is a little lighter but i think this is one of the most important; the journey to recovery from any medical condition isn’t something to be taken lightly and i think this fic deals with almost everything that it will encapsulate, it’s a beautiful story that deals with the ups and downs of medical recovery and how you really need to learn to forgive yourself for maybe not being able to do everything you previously wanted to, it’s a hopeful story which is also so important because there is always hope for you no matter what 

something to soothe your heart 

you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by @nothing-but-color  

fluff, light angst, smut, multi-chaptered, modern au

guys this fic is so beautiful omfg it’s so CUTE and i think it really nails some of the characterisation it really sets up their relationship so well and it delves into some other issues of wangxian’s parents being uh not great parents lmfao but it’s just cute and wholesome and wangxian discovering the joy of being in a relationship 

this river runs to you by sundiscus 

fluff, light angst, yearning, modern au 

DRAGONS AND MAGIC GUYS HOLY SHIT this was a fic i just sat down and binged in like probably an hour and it’s SO GOOD, the plot, the characterisation, the amount of thought and care that went into developing this was so good and it’s beautiful guys truly a wonderful fic 

heliotrope (eternal love) by avenqelic 

fluff, light angst, modern au 

flowers and their meanings need i say more???? this was so wholesome and wwx is such a dumbass but we love him for it and there’s so much yearning and pining in this it’s almost angst but it’s not bc there’s so much SOFT content in this we love it 

lay us down (we’re in love) by mme_anxious 

fluff, modern au 

guys this is just a short wholesome cute fic to soothe your heart from all the angst i’ve put in this list IT’S PERFECT domestic wangxian will always trump everything as much as i love putting my heart through the works and this is just pEAK wangxian content 

it’s you, it was always you by myung 

fluff, light angst, cql au

guys wwx is such a dumbass but he’s a bby and we love him and this was such cute wholesome barely there angst content AND THE PINING wangxian are so dumb but we love them for it this was just something to truly soothe my heart as the heading suggests so yes pls read this after all the angst 

with absolute splendour by @veliseraptor​

fluff, light angst, yunmeng bros, cql au 

THIS IS THE FIC I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WAITING FOR guys jc being an angry grape wanting to plan shijie’s and wwx’s wedding is genuinely the content i have always wanted and i’m always so sad that there’s like barely any of it but this fic captures it PERFECTLY and it’s the yunmeng reconciliation i have been praying for 

the dragon’s bride by jaws_3 

fluff, light angst, light smut, beauty and the beast au 

lwj bby you need to learn to use your words bc then THIS HAPPENS but guys this was such a cool take on beauty and the beast au and it’s pretty spectacular wangxian are DOMESTIC HUSBANDS before they are even husbands but the writing was breathtakingly good so yes pls read this 

anyway, here’s wuji by @kakikaeru 

fluff, light angst, post-cql, focus on lan jingyi 

okay this is more background wangxian BUT THIS FIC IS SO GOOD, the next one in the series (focussing on jin ling) is also spectacular so pls read them both, but guys LAN JINGYI BEST BOY and he’s in love omfg wangxian being overprotective adorable husbands looking after all their children is just what we LIVE for 

something to make you laugh 

i get religion real quick 'cause you're looking so divine by so_shyy

fluff, humour, modern au

guys wangxian being a chaotic mess but wwx being even more of a pining dumbass bc of hospital drugs is PERFECT i have probably read every single version of the cliche ‘husband waking up stoned after surgery’ but guys it’s so much wholesome content and amazing in every single way 

life, drama and action by akai__hana

fluff, social media, modern au 

whenever i have an angsty fic that makes my heart go eek i reach for this fic bc it’s a reminder that WANGXIAN IS HAPPILY MARRIED WITH A SUN THANK YOU and they are living their best lives as husbands in every life so this is just so cute short and wholesome we LIVE for this content 

besieged by @ariaste 

fluff, light smut, humour, post-cql 

another fic for reaffirmation that wangxian are being overprotective husbands and our bby a-yuan is not really a baby anymore and it’s just so DOMESTIC and such good content and we really love every single reminder that wangxian are just happy and together and they’re SOULMATES okay 

worth the entire universe and more by @xiellian​

fluff, humour, modern au

this was fcking hilarious guys i read it right after one of my angsts and it’s just SO WHOLESOME wwx you’re so dumb we love you so much but you’re truly dumb also lwj bby pls use your words this was such a cute concept and just a pinch of domestic wangxian i needed in my day 

a quest (for kisses) by @xiellian​

fluff, humour, post-cql 

ANOTHER DOMESTIC WANGXIAN FIC guys i can literally picture this happening bc wangxian are insufferable and are hellbent on letting the whole entire world know they are IN LOVE and that they ARE SOULMATES and we forgive them bc they ARE 

[taegularities]

I DID NOT SURVIVE IT WELL AT ALL, EMERGENCY TISSUES WERE NOT ENOUGH but it was such a beautiful ride 😭 reading unveil right after falling messed with my heart but it felt like I understood the pain of the situation they got themselves in so much better, i just want them all to be happy especially since we got to see the insides of them and their thoughts, i want a happy ending for everyone 😭 but at the same time they were playing with fire and no matter how secure jk and oc feel in their relationship it was such a risk to be intimate with tae so many times and have such a bond with him aside. I'm actually relieved that tae decided to say the truth even if it makes things very messy bc there's a chance for some clarity between them all 🙏

Your writing is 👌🤌 gold, always and it's such a pleasure to see the world you create through your words 🧡 i agree only with people that also think you're an incredible writer that creates masterpieces and i'll gladly let you know that again and again for free (i hope that rude anon will go hide somewhere 😒) I'LL PATIENTLY WAIT FOR THOSE LAST PARTS but could you maybe add me to the tag list please? I don't want to miss them like I did with the last ones 😭🧡

OMG FALLING AND UNVEIL BACK TO BACK ??? U ARE A BRAVE ONE 😭 hajskkjafc but i am so happy u enjoyed the ride. absolutely agree w what u said, just... everything they're doing rn is risky as hell, and – as the summary of my ry mpost says – this has really turned into a wildfire that's burning them inside and out 😭 i'm so glad tae finally confessed, too. he really needed that :(

and pls the second paragraph really touches my heart so much i love u :((( rudeness is inescapable sometimes, but people like u remind me that there is so much kindness in this world, too <333 THANK U and yes ofc i will add u to the taglist !! 🥺💜