#adhd is probably the cause of like... half my problems

[smallblueandloud]

oh, how i love you, adhd medication. took a short release a few hours ago because i couldn't stop watching BTVS and i haven't done anything in three days so i figured it couldn't hurt and now i'm sitting here thinking about the big picture and art i want to make and what i can get done right now to make my life easier this week.

[wlwsoccerfics]

The Troll inside my head(KimLittleXReader)

A/N:this Is just my experience with adhd. Doesn't have to be like that for Others.

Warnings: ADHD Reader, angst, self doubt

Summary: your adhd brings you down sometimes and makes you feel terrible. Your girlfriend is there to pick up the pieces and Show you how loved you are.

It was in the middle of the night, around 3am. You couldn't sleep. Your brain wouldn't let you rest. Many different thoughts running through your mind, all at once and all of them really loudly. Like they wanted to make sure you heard them. You felt like screaming. Only thing that kept you from it, was the fact that your beautiful girlfriend, who had the Patience of an Angel was asleep next to you. And you didn't want to wake her. It was enough that you were dealing with this. You didn't want to make your sleep issues her Problem too.

You got out of bed so you wouldn't wake her. Grabbing some fresh clothes and two towels, making your way into the bathroom. Taking a hot shower. Breathing in and out gently. You imagine that you are on the pitch. Focusing on not letting a ball past you. So No one would score a Goal against you. There were times when you didn't have all those thoughts running through your head like little Trolls, trying to cause Chaos. One was when you were on the pitch, being a Goalkeeper. You did an amazing job there. Or when you could hyperfocus on something else you really liked. For example when you build your Lego Sets. You can do that for hours on end. Only Problem when you hyper Focus on something is you forget about everything else.

After your shower you wrapped yourself in a big towel and then used a smaller one for your hair. Putting on a Sports bra and some panties your Trainings Shirt and Long pants. Then last but not least some white socks. it now was 4am now. You knew you wouldn't be able to rest, so you decided to listen to a Podcast about Harry Potter. Another one of your Obsessions. You sat on the Couch in the livingroom. The Podcast was on Low Volume, playing through the speakers of the Alexa. Something was different though.

Today you couldn't Focus on the Podcast. Your anxiety was rising up. Your mind going back to the last game. You were thinking about the two Goals that were scored against you. In your head all you heard was 'everyone else would have saved those!' and the disappointed and hate for yourself was back. You got up from the Couch, pacing back and forth. A panic attack was approaching. Fast, like lightning.

Your girlfriend slowly walked into the livingroom, half asleep. That changed when she saw you struggling to breath. She quickly made her way over to you. Placing her hands on each side of your face.

"Babe! Hey, Look at me, i am here! I got you! You are not alone." She told you, her voice soothing. She then pulled you close. Pressing her Body against yours. Swaying from Side to Side with you. She knew that worked for you when you had a panic attack. You placed your head against Kims shoulder. Breathing in and out slowly. The smell of her Shampoo was very calming.

"s-sorry." You whispered against her shoulder. She gently stroked your Hair.

"what are you sorry for Baby? You did nothing wrong." Kim whispered out. Gently sitting down on the Couch with you still very much holding onto her.

"you woke up really early cause i was probably too loud and annoying and then you walk in on me being a mess." You told her. She gently put a Hand under your chin now, pushing your face Up gently so you would look at her.

"listen to me please, you weren't loud or annoying. I did wake up cause i missed the warmth of your Body in bed. This isn't your fault at all. You can get out of bed whenever you want. And you weren't a mess. You had a Panic Attack. I hate that you have to Go through them but that doesn't mean you are a mess!" She told you and kissed your nose. You teared up and looked at her.

"i Love you, Babe." You let her know. Offering her a small and tried smile. Which she returned.

"i Love you too!" Your girlfriend answered. "Now please tell me what caused this panic attack?" She wanted to know. You cuddled up to her again. She gently stroked your arm.

"the last game." You admitted.

"sweet Angel, we have been over this. That we lost wasn't your fault. We win as a Team. We lose as a Team. You are such a talented Goalkeeper. So stop beating yourself up over this. No one is blaming you." She told you. You didn't say anything. You just kissed her. She kissed back.

A little while later it was 6am now and you took your adhd meds. You always took them at that time. After that you snuggled back onto the Couch with Kim. She put on one of the lego movies(knowing it is one of your favorite ones) , holding you close. Giving you a kiss on the head every now and then. You stayed like that, enjoying the Moments with Kim ,until it was time for Kim to get ready and make you two some Smoothies before you had to Drive to practice.

It was good to know that your girlfriend would always be there for you. No matter what.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! If this is the second time you're getting this ask I'm so sorry. I have severe memory issues from my ADHD and I'm not sure if I actually sent this to you, or if I just thought about sending it to you lmao.

Anyways, I have a quick question about one of my characters. I'm writing a medieval fantasy story and one of the characters has burn scars covering half of her face including the top of her head.

At the end of the story, she becomes a princess. Would it hurt her to wear a crown? I'm not very well versed in types of crowns but it would be like a small, lightweight tiara.

I just want to make sure it wouldn't aggravate her scars from pressing on them. Is there anything she could do to reduce issues? Like wrapping it in some kind of soft fabric?

Thank you!

Hello,

It could be a problem, but it's not likely. Tiaras are a marvel of ingenuity, many of the most famous ones having built-in designs that make them easier to wear. Here are some examples-

A lot of tiaras are actually pretty loose, especially when worn by royalty because they could find themselves needing to wear their tiara for a long time. If you look closely at a lot of famous royal tiaras, you'll see that many of them are actually held in place by the hair, whether it be through hair volume, like Princess Diana, or by braiding or twisting hair around parts of the band, or by just putting the hair in an updo and situating the band of the tiara so that it goes into the hair. Her tiara doesn't need to perfectly fit her head.

Some fancier tiaras, such as the Dutch Diamond Bandaeu Tiara, can also have a kind of spacer bar, which keeps the ornate part of the tiara from actually touching the head. This can help avoid getting hair stuck in those little jewels, and prevent the ornate detailing from sitting directly on the skin and causing irritation from the friction. These bars can be hidden using hair, but that isn't always required. More often than not, the people who wear tiaras with this feature don't bother trying to conceal it.

There are some tiaras where the band can be wrapped in a thin cushion. Some older tiaras will have some sort of fabric wrapped around the band, often a velvet or similar soft material that's close to either the colour of the tiara or the colour of the wearer's hair. Not only does this help prevent tangling, it can also help secure a looser tiara in place by filling the space between the head and the metal of the band, which is also going to be far more comfortable than adjusting the tiara and having the band directly against the head.

A more elaborate tiara can have a wider, thicker cushion hidden under the band for the same purpose. These are usually the larger tiaras that are one step away from being a crown, where more protection is needed because the tiara is bigger, heavier, and not as easy to adjust.

Sometimes, people in tiaras will wear a cloth headband under the band of the tiara, or even some kind of cloth head covering (some tiara can even have cloth inserts built in, like the fancy Crown Jewels crown.) Usually these are more common for people who wear some sort of diadem, but the option is open for anyone who needs it. If she wants to make this band fancy, she could probably even get a special diadem that matches her tiara and wearing both

The tiara could also be supported in a weird way, like with a band across the top of the head so that she wouldn't really need to tighten it at all, or even using metalworking addition that can put the weight of the tiara somewhere more convenient, like around her ears or neck.

Keep in mind that she can also get her crown custom made, where the metalworker can help her figure out what works best for her and then making her tiara to suit. There are ways to design tiaras that can distribute weight in certain ways that can help. There are also similar options, like diadems that can be gravity-based in how they stay on. There are also dozens of variations of crowns and tiaras and other royal or even just beautiful headpieces you can take reference from. You can do whatever would make her life easiest here, because her metalworker would do that.

If could cause a problem, but there are plenty of ways to get around it.

- Mod Aaron

[agaypanic]

Hello! I wanna request for aged up Roderick where he falls for his tutor that he was forced by his mom to get. Maybe a little bit of insecurity on his part cause he's scared she'll think he's dumb.

You're Not That Dumb (Rodrick Heffley X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: By some miracle, Rodrick graduates high school and decides to take some classes at the community college. When his mom finds out he’s failing one of his classes, she hires you to tutor him. 

A/N: guys i think taking adhd meds and vitamin d is working bc why am i starting to pop off rn (writing 3 fics a month instead of 2). rodrick and reader are 19 and go to community college. Rodrick is dyslexic bc “dore” and “sweaty” bae cmon now… apologies in advance for a lil anorexic joke towards the end, it was the only word i thought rodrick would know that sounded like dyslexic

***

“Mom, I’m an adult. I don’t need a tutor.”

“Yes, Rodrick, you do.” Susan sighed, dropping the laundry she was folding back in the basket and looking at her son. “You’re failing English, and your father will be furious if you get dropped from the class. So, you’re getting a tutor.”

Rodrick groaned in frustration. “What happened to you guys trusting me to be responsible?” 

“When you start acting responsibly, then we’ll trust you.” His mom replied, starting to fold her clean clothes again. “Please, just give it a chance. I talked to one of my friends, and she said her daughter can help you on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.”

“My tutor’s a girl?” Rodrick asked, starting to warm up to the idea of getting help with his class.

Susan gave him a suspicious look. “Yes… Is that a problem?”

“Nope! Not at all. I think this tutor thing is actually an excellent idea.” Rodrick started to back out of the room. Once he got to the doorway, he turned around and sped away so he wouldn’t get any further questions from his mom. “The best idea.”

***

Rodrick didn’t seem to take into account that having a tutor meant he was actually expected to work. He tried his best to evade it, but you obviously weren’t letting up. 

“Dude, it’s not that hard.” You tried to keep your irritation from coming out. You knew Rodrick was a bit of a slacker, but it was completely ridiculous that you two had been sitting at his desk for fifteen minutes just staring at his problem packet.

“I know,” Rodrick replied defensively. He let out a huff of air, moving around in his seat. “I’m just… focusing my eyes.”

The more he tried to look at the page, the more confused he seemed to be getting. You needed to think of a different approach quick before you lost your cool.

“Maybe seeing all the different questions is getting you mixed up.” You finally took the packet, and Rodrick seemed to be relieved. “How about I read the questions, so you can come up with the answers. Okay?” He nodded, turning in his desk chair to face you. “Ready? Okay, why is it a sin to kill a mockingbird?”

Rodrick was quiet for a moment, and you hoped it was because he was formulating his response.

“Because they…” You braced yourself for his answer. “Don’t… deserve it?”

You raised your brows in surprise, and Rodrick mirrored your expression. “Yeah! I mean, you could say that about probably any bird, but good job! See, Rodrick, you know this stuff!” 

The next couple of questions went the same. Rodrick would give you a hesitant half-answer, and you would give him more details while praising him for getting another question right. Both of your moods improved, Rodrick trying to hide (but failing horrendously) his giddy smile every time you told him he was right, and you were relieved to finally be getting somewhere in your study session.

After a few more right answers, you decided that Rodrick deserved a break. In his excitement, Rodrick somehow stretched the supposed ten-minute break to almost an hour. He captivated you easily despite the fact that earlier that afternoon, you were grumbling about having to waste a day helping him when you could’ve been out with friends. But now, as you watched him air drum to a song you couldn’t recognize for your life, you realized that he was kind of cute.

“Okay, okay, I think you’re done now.” You laughed when the song faded out, and Rodrick slumped down in his chair. “We should probably finish up your homework.”

Rodrick sighed but didn’t argue. You handed him back the packet of questions, and once again, he just stared down at the questions. 

“You can do it, Rodrick.” You urged, trying to sound encouraging as you eased a pencil into his hand. “It’s just all the stuff we were talking about.”

“Right…” He trailed off, not very convinced. 

At first, Rodrick dropped the tip of the pencil to the first question. It didn’t move, just making a small dot on the paper as he looked down helplessly. Then his eyes flicked up a bit, and he suddenly scribbled something at the top of the page. 

That seemed to give him the confidence to start writing answers. His handwriting was messy; you couldn’t read it very well from your current position beside him. But you were just happy he was actually doing the work now. 

As he went down the page, his writing had more pauses and uncertainty. You told him he could take a break after the first page so you could look over his work. When he marked down the last period, he shyly slid the packet over to you. You gave Rodrick an encouraging smile before picking it up, and that seemed to ease his nerves.

But the immediate bewilderment he saw when you scanned the page made him even more panicky.

“What? What did I do wrong?”

You didn’t answer for a moment, trying to figure out how to approach the topic you wanted to bring up. 

“Rodrick, can I ask you something?” He nodded instantly. “Have you ever, uh, like… been tested? With your reading and writing, I mean?”

Rodrick was a bit confused by the question. He couldn’t recall any of that happening. But then again, Rodrick wasn’t the best at paying attention. He shook his head, wondering what you were trying to say.

Sighing, you decided to bite the bullet. “Rodrick, I think you might be dyslexic.”

He blinked at you, processing the information. Then he knitted his brows together, looking at you like you were the one that had something wrong with them. “Nuh-uh, I eat all the time.”

Now you were the one to blink at him, taking a second to try to connect the dots that Rodrick had. “I said dyslexic, not anorexic.”

“Oh.” Embarrassed by the mixup, he straightened up in his seat and scratched at the back of his neck. “But I know how to spell.” One quick glance from you back down to his paper made him gasp. He put a hand to his chest dramatically, which helped lighten the mood. “I can spell!”

“Rodrick, you put an ‘E’ in your first name.”

***

Rodrick Heffley Taglist: @tweedledipshit @screechingsandwichtriumph

[ninja-muse]

Somehow, for being the shortest month, February felt long. This is partly work chaos and partly … current events. (I've just spent a lot of time staring slack-jawed at the news.)

Astute followers will notice I didn't post a review this month. That's because the only book I really felt like saying anything about—The Prague Cemetery—was excellent in many ways but also something I cannot in good conscience recommend, at least in this current political climate, to a generalized audience. It's a brilliant take-down of antisemitic, authoritarian, conservative, cis-white-male thinking (yay) but narrated by someone who is all of those things and simply in it for the money (urf). Not the funnest thing to have read shortly after a certain inauguration but probably good for me in the long run.

And sure, I could've reviewed the third Emily Wilde book (but how to, without spoiling?) or Tokyo Ueno Station (sad, doing some smart things within its genre) or My Kind of Trouble (gender-swapped Music Man!) or any of the others but there wasn't much to say about any of those and/or I didn't have the energy.

In more personal news, I've been writing again, at least a little! I'm maybe a scene and a half from being done the chapter I've been on since November and for one of those scenes I can cannibalize something I cut months ago. Then it's a matter of wrapping things up, so I think five chapters left, maybe less. This could be my year! I've done better blocking out all the current events stuff, which usually stymies my writing, on an emotional level than I usually do. I hope that can continue.

I've also been trying my best to boycott US products and companies, though I'm not doing so great with, like, social media and email and also I probably shouldn't have bought Aftermarket Afterlife but in my defense, Seanan McGuire is a good egg and deserves royalties. For whatever that's worth. I've been helped in the not-buying-of-books by having no other books in need of buying, and also library holds! So many! I have been spoiled, which probably means I'll have to wait another month or more before anything else comes in for me. (Have I added, like, eight books to my holds queue though? Maybe.)

How have your Februaries and your readings been? Let me know if you've got recs for me!

And now, here's what I read this month in order of personal enjoyment…

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

The social and relationship problems caused by heterosexuality and ways they can be addressed.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: deals with misogyny in all its forms

library book

Tokyo Ueno Station - Yu Miri The ghost of a migrant labourer recalls his life story from an encampment of unhoused people.

7.5/10

Japanese cast, Korean-Japanese author

library ebook

Emily Wilde’s Compendium of Lost Tales - Heather Fawcett

Emily and Wendell set off to take the throne of a faerie kingdom.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (achillean), Afro-Irish secondary character, blind secondary character, 🇨🇦

reading copy

My Kind of Trouble - L.A. Schwartz Harmony has arrived in Brookville to promote a fake musical festival that will take down the mayor. But first she needs to win over the librarian she’ll “rent” the land from.

7/10

fat POV character, autistic POV character, autistic secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, sapphic), fat and autistic author

warning: homophobic antagonists

library book

Swordheart - T. Kingfisher

Halla has inherited an estate and a bunch of greedy relatives she needs to escape, fast. Fortunately, there’s a man—in a sword?—who’s happy to help her.

7/10

ADHD-coded main character, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (nonbinary)

warning: suicidal thoughts, suicide, violence

library ebook

The Last Sun - K.D. Edwards

Rune Saint John is hired to find a missing Atlantean scion and uncovers a conspiracy.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (achillean)

library book

Rise - Mira Grant

Stories of the Rising and its aftermath that didn’t make it into the Newsflesh trilogy.

7/10

reasonably diverse cast (BIPOC, 🏳️‍🌈, differing abilities)

library ebook

The Prague Cemetery - Umberto Eco

A forger in 19th century Europe recounts the social upheavals he has witnessed and his hand in the conspiracies underpinning them. A polemic exposing the hypocrisy, contradictions, greed, and evil of antisemites and others determined to keep their place atop existing power structures.

8/10

warning: antisemitic protagonist and secondary characters, xenophobic and misogynist protagonist, homophobic characters, sexual assault and rape, murder

off my TBR

DNF

Love and Other Paradoxes - Catriona Spivey

Joe is dreaming of being a famous poet when he meets Esi, a time traveller on a mission. She agrees to help him meet his destined muse; he promises to help her save her mum.

Black British secondary character

reading copy

Currently reading

The Gilda Stories - Jewelle Gomez

A girl escaping slavery finds refuge in a bawdy house run by the elegant Gilda, and immortality in Gilda’s shared vampirism, allowing her to give witness to 200 years of history and Black American life.

Black protagonist, Black secondary characters, Lakota secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic, achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 author, Black author

library ebook

Spooky Lakes - Geo Rutherford

A sumptuously illustrated microtour of strange and scary lakes of the world.

library book

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 8 Yearly total: 18 Queer books: 2 Authors of colour: 1 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 1 ARCs acquired: 2 ARCs unhauled: 3 DNFs: 1

January

[taffywabbit]

it feels weird to finally get a year where I get to say this but I think maybe 2024 actually WAS my year. hopefully not the last, but it really feels like the first, at least in a long time. I was stagnant and static and drifting without much momentum in any direction for quite a while, and then suddenly this year:

I finally moved into a solo apartment and am no longer living in a house with an ever-shifting pool of like 5 roommates. having my own quiet comfy space to cook and relax and be nocturnal without bothering anyone has been HUGE for my mental health

I worked very hard to recoup the money I lost from that move and got myself in a fairly stable and comfortable position again, work-wise

I finally started HRT in June, after about 5 years of waiting/struggling to find a doctor/fear/general motivation issues. which absolutely kicks ass and is probably the highlight of the whole year if I had to pick just one

I also finally got diagnosed with ADHD and (with a little trial and error) got medicated for it, which is another thing I've been trying to sort out for like 6 years. hey did you know executive dysfunction and problems with memory/task management/motivation make it really hard to go through the process of getting treated for the cause of those symptoms? wild huh

I rekindled a much closer relationship with a couple of my younger siblings, especially the elder of my two sisters, and we have really nice chats fairly regularly now (crazy considering we did nothing but fight constantly for like 20 years lol)

I came out fully to my family, for better or worse, and MOST of them have been surprisingly chill and supportive about it

I worked on a little game project with a friend for a couple months! it didn't end up working out but I learned a lot from the experience

I started doing WAY more personal art and kinda rediscovered my passion for it, and as a result I've progressed a lot stylistically and technically within the past few months

I beat Pseudoregalia 94 times since the first time I tried it in February. not really an achievement on the same level as all this other stuff but I'm still proud of it

like idk! there were a lot of rough patches this year and I was honestly pretty burnt out for the first half of it, but 2024 still feels like the year where I bundled up all my frustration about going nowhere with my life and achieving none of my goals and turned it into fuel to just blaze through a bunch of stuff in the back half. I wish I'd done a lot of it sooner, but life has been reminding me a lot lately that it really IS better late than never, so I'm trying to keep that perspective in mind and not let the idea of a ticking clock intimidate me like it used to. I am trying to be optimistic that 2025 will allow me to continue this momentum. we'll see I guess!

idk if I really have any resolutions per se? I guess I'd really like to make music more often in 2025, even if it's just small things I do in one or two sittings occasionally instead of full songs. I started writing a song this year, with lyrics and everything, and then didn't finish putting it together, so at the very least I'd like to make THAT happen soon. I think finding a way to get myself back into animation casually would be neat too - I have a lot of mental hangups and personal roadblocks holding me back, largely from my awful college experience, but I think if I can just find some tools that are comfortable for me then I'll be able to conquer those and hopefully start enjoying it again on my own terms. there's other stuff I'd like to pick up this year as well but honestly I'm keeping my expectations small for now and we'll just see what happens! let's do it, wahoo

[pseudophan]

wait i'm new here and i'm curious, if you're okay talking about it what happened before in the uk / why did you move back?

longass story but i've complained about this whole ordeal so much on here i think if i do the whole thing again people will get mad at me like omg we get it. anyway here it is again:

i moved to england (milton keynes specifically which all brits find very funny) with my mum in 2016 to go to high school because norway requires you to do six thousand subjects even if you "specialise" in something and i just did not have that in me. every subject combined with an instant fail if you miss more than like three lessons? absolutely the fuck not. in mk i did a level 3 creative media btec which is known as a bit of a joke because it won't make you kill yourself as much as a-levels, but lowkey i enjoyed it SO much. i've heard media btecs are very hit or miss depending on your tutors but mine were really good! half my class was only there because they flunked out of their a-levels and wanted something easy, but by like week two i'd say most of them were really into it

after college i started a film and tv production course at uni in london, none of the fancy unis because rip my grades lmao but it was a good time. year one went alright, but then when i applied for a loan for the second year months went by and i didn't hear anything until literally DECEMBER, halfway through the year, when they got back to me and were like oh sorry you don't qualify for the loan. oh and we're also taking back the money you got for the first year, so now you're in immediate debt to us for that and to the uni directly for the months you just did where we just couldn't be bothered to tell you you didn't qualify for any funding. hope this helps!

basically because i'd already lived in the uk for a couple of years before university i could apply as an english student rather than an international one, which is much cheaper so that was great. i also, IN THEORY, qualified for a loan through the student loans company, which is, IN THEORY, much easier and less annoying than the norwegian one because you don't start paying it back right away, you can wait until you're actually making x amount of money. all good. the problem was that the only reason we could afford to just fuck off and move to england in the first place was that my mum got to keep her norwegian job and work from home, meaning we weren't sure if i DID actually qualify for the loan because the way she was paying taxes was like kind of confusing. i still don't know exactly how it works, but i guess you pay it all to one country and then they split it? cause you're effectively paying taxes to both norway and the uk but you're not supposed to have to pay More so idk. who knows. not me. but yeah so we called them Multiple times to ask if i was in fact eligible for a loan and every time they were like yeah it's no problem. my bad for not getting it in writing by the way, always do that. then like i said they fully accepted my loan for the first year after looking through all our documents so clearly it WAS in fact fine, or at least enough people working there believed it was.

i have no idea what actually happened with the second year application, or which one got evaluated wrong. might have been the first one, might be the second, i'll probably never know. the real kicker though is that if they just got back to me earlier i could have gotten a norwegian loan and it would probably be fine, but because they were months late i only had like two weeks until the application deadline for the norwegian one and because the whole situation was so complicated and confusing, and i was struggling really hard with any paperwork or essays because of my super cool then-still-undiagnosed adhd, i just didn't have it in me to fight it. i was like whatever, guess i have to just drop out. didn't actually have to drop out, they suspended me for unpaid fees. i kept going until they turned off my key card though and banned me from campus lol, my tutors were just like eh keep showing up until it doesn't work anymore, it's not like they can suspend you out any more 😭

fuck knows what my plan was after dropping out. in my head i was like, well i can probably get a shitty job for a bit and yeah it probably won't go very well but it's not like i've tried, who knows! and then uhhhh covid happened LMFAO, so nevermind that shit! turns out getting a job in covid lockdown london is Difficult. my mum moved back in the middle of covid and a few months later i had to follow and now half a decade later here we are </3

[aroaceleovaldez]

Do you have any fun Piper headcanons?

BOY DO I

She wears velcro shoes. they're the gaudiest, tackiest looking ones she could find that fit her from the kid's section. I personally usually like to give her Hello Kitty ones. She wears them cause they're fun and colorful and also ADHD causes problems with fine motor control which can make it hard to tie shoelaces, and the bright colors are great for sensory stuff, so colorful kid's velcro sneakers it is. This is so important to me.

Hair ties! I like to give her two braids down the side of her face tied off with big chunky bright hair ties. My hc with that is that she braids her hair as a stim, and those are just the easiest chunks of hair to braid and unbraid idly (source: that was one of my stims back when i had long hair), plus probably chews on them as another stim (she needs a chew necklace real bad she'll get one eventually). The hair ties being bright colors is once again sensory stimulation from bright colored clothing/accessories go brrr, they bonus as an extra fidget, and also she adores tacky/gaudy stuff and anti-fashion so they go right in with her aesthetic (or lack-there-of).

Okay so yknow how everybody started drawing Piper with beaded earrings. I disagree with the style of earrings everybody gives her - most people go with giving her BIG dangly beaded earrings. I don't think she's a big earrings person, or particularly a dangly earrings person, or at least not a "stylish" big earrings person. I DO however think she'd 100% adore beaded fandom earrings, like these hello kitty ones, or these Kiki's Delivery Service ones.

In general i think she owns so much youtuber merch. It is a solid staple of her wardrobe. The sillier and stupider, the better. She DEFINITELY has the GMM "Everybody knows i love lesbians" merch. She is the target demographic of that ridiculous redbubble merch stuff that's like, a throw blanket that's a collage of insert-youtuber-here's face. Also just general fandom merch. Again, the more ridiculous the better. She hates fashion you KNOW she's mix-and-matching cosplay pieces at least half out of spite just for fun.

She also 100% buys jackbox Tee-KO tshirts and has a whole collection of them.

Because I like giving Piper at least some sense of "I know people who exist outside of the main cast of protagonists" (that is severely lacking in HoO) i like to hc that Shel is an old childhood friend of hers that was like neighbors with her grandpa or something similar, so whenever Piper would visit they would hang out. When Piper moves to Oklahoma they start hanging out again and start dating.

She has very eclectic music tastes. When she was younger it was mostly she hated everything "popular" out of principle but as she got older it's just anything, though a general lean for stuff a la 2000s top hits, cause she is not immune to nostalgia. or late 2000s emo.

Contrary to popular fanon I don't hc that Piper and Leo were "true" friends pre-Hera memory shake-up. I imagine they had one of those school alliances you sometimes make where you see each other every day and you prefer working with them during class versus whoever else but you know like all of 4 things about them including their name and you've never hung out outside of class before. Immediately after their TLH quest they shift to more of a "we are in a new environment (hell of a situation with ADHD/autism) full of strangers (hell. hell on earth) but we know who each other are and are already familiar with one another so. CAMARADERIE." and by the end of the Argo II quest it's a "okay we're ACTUALLY proper friends now." They're not each other's best friends (Piper's is Annabeth and Leo's is Hazel) but they have a VERY strong unique bond of "we've been through this with each other from the beginning, since before all this demigod stuff."

Piper is very "queer label fuckery" to me. She'd LOVE defying boxes and just messing around with all of that. She's digging deep to find niche labels and using atypical combos and it's a really great identity sandbox for her. Also messing around with gendered language in a similar manner.

I don't care what canon says she and Drew eventually warm up to each other and become good siblings to me. Piper unlearns her internalized misogyny and Drew unlearns some of her toxic femininity and they learn to appreciate each other's perspectives - Drew eventually comes to find Piper's perspectives on fashion and the entertainment industry fascinating and Piper respects how outspoken and self-advocating Drew is. They get really into DIY fashion projects together - Piper's goal is to get Drew hooked on alt fashion and it's working.

[theteasnake]

Ghostface: The Bitch

He is the Entity's golden and problem child and gets the most privileges than the others. Being on friendly terms with him tends to reward you with similar luxuries. The Entity also speaks to him the most, although it's mostly just him having a one sided convo with himself until the Entity replies.

Before the Game showed up, he was offered his own cabin on the outskirts of the survivor camps. It's still there and is mainly used as his stalking hq.

He's quicker than most to catch up on modern slang. Half the time he hates it and half the time he finds it amusing to confuse the other killers with it.

"I'm a murderer, not a monster!" - whenever he's accused of any crime that isn't a murder, even if it's as small as stealing.

If put in the same area as Freddy Kruger, it's on sight. He hates the burnt man with a passion.

I don't think he has a canon age, I couldn't find one, but I'd say he's around 21-22. He only visited a handful of towns and lays low between each one, and assuming he killed his father at 16-17, I think 21-22 is a good estimate.

He has conflicted feelings about his father. He both loves and loathes him.

Narcissistic? Mayhaps. ADHD? 100%.

He's got a celebrity crush on the Trapper. Nothing will come of it, but he will fanboy about Evan.

I feel like he'd enjoy Fallout Boy, especially American Psycho. Along with unhinged modern pop like Joyride.

Chaotic bisexual with no preference. Maybe a hint of demiromantic. Idk, you gotta be really interesting to prevent him from murdering you but you'll just end up with him unhealthily obsessing over you.

This man is an asexual and you can't change my mind. He's probably tried but gave up ten seconds in cause it's not as thrilling as murdering. Plus, why would he do something that's just cheap adrenaline when he can get pure adrenaline from killing?

Adrenaline junkie.

Isn't allowed to try gambling, drugs, or anything else that can turn into an addiction. He gets addicted very, very easily.

He smoked for a very short time before he was taken. He quit cause he didn't want to fuck up his lungs. He picked it back up when he was taken, cause why not? He defo thinks it's hot.

Not fond of alcohol, it clouds his judgement and he doesn't trust himself to not kill on a whim while under the influence.

Thinks the simp survivors are funny. But will cut a hand off if they try to touch him inappropriately.

Best way to seduce him as a survivor is to just be good at kiting. He loves a good challenge and if you manage to stay alive for a good period of time, he'll let you live as a reward. Plus, he loves his final girls.

People tend to think he's a dog person, they're obedient and man's best friend. He's actually a cat person, they're much like himself. Stealthy hunters. Dogs are too loud and clingy.

Has never hurt an animal outside of hunting. He has no reason to, humans are more fun to go after.

Probably enjoyed Deadpool comics before being taken. He also shares the same humor as DP. Add in a sprinkle of puns and bad dad jokes.

Has a collection of secret photos of his favorite killers.

Has attempted to kill fellow killers just for fun.

The definition of "fuck around and find out".

You know that meme of how guys won't bat an eye if they're injured but act like they're dying when they have a simple cold. That's Danny.

Very expressive and dramatic with his movements. Mainly cause you can't see his expressions behind the mask.

Would be a theater kid if he would've been allowed.

He's got trauma. This man has trauma. I doubt it would've been easy to be raised by a military dad. Plus, I doubt his mother was in the picture or very involved.

Isn't allowed to cook or make food for others. He's attempted to poison and drug people various times. Just cause.

Is very fidgety and stims a lot. Taps his fingers, chews on pens, humming and whistling, leg bouncing, etc.

Occasionally pretends to be a friendly killer just to down them all. He likes to see the betrayal in their eyes.

Views the Legion as a group of little shits. Doesn't care for them but they try to follow him around whenever he's not at the Game.

Don't leave him in the same room as the Trickster. It could end in either a bloodbath or Danny coming out confused and dressed head to toe in merchandise.

He knows he's not allowed to harm the survivors outside of the trial, but that doesn't stop him from scaring the shit out of them.

Sometimes he'll pretend he's a survivor to gain access to the survivor camp.

Doesn't like Tapp, and thanks whatever being out there that he didn't have someone like him in his world.

Very judgy.

Mori pictures of his favorite survivors are kept in his wallet.

Ya'll need to stop trying to justify his kills. You treat him like some vigilante trying to clean up the streets, when he wouldn't even touch fellow criminals with a 10 inch pole. It'd be a boring story if the resident aggressive drunk is murdered, but the well loved waitress, on the other hand, would make a great headline.

Probably dreads office and water cooler talk. Unless it's gossip. He's always down from some gossip.

Names almost every inanimate objects after his favorite subjects/victims. He's got bad emotional attachment to the objects. Like really bad.

Touch starved. Probably has never been hugged.

Does not do well with heat. Every time he ends up in warmer states or working in the summer, he's like "why did I do this to myself?"

Self hatred? Nah. Can't hate yourself if you don't know who you are.

Anger issues to the max.

Once accidentally broke Philly in a fit of rage and almost drove himself off a bridge. He fixed the camera, don't worry.

If he does choose to be friendly (to spice things up) and the survivors still run from him or keep stunning/blinding him, he'll tunnel them. He does not have patience.

Stabbing is his love language. He's currently being taught that that's not healthy. It's a work in progress.

Gift giving is his other love language. Though, it's mainly dead bodies and mori photos. Like a cat leaving dead mice for their owner.

Gets disappointed when other survivors don't join in on the photo. They're labeled boring and get tunneled.

He's got so many scars from his subjects fighting back. They're like trophies to him.

Isn't allowed to have caffeine, especially in the Entity's realm. Last time he had it in his world, he almost murdered a whole family in one go. When he had it in the Entity's realm, he had so many trials lined up but the high didn't wear off afterwards and he attempted to break into other killers' trials.

The type of pet name he gives you is determined by how he feels about you, regardless of gender. Princess is mainly applied to whiny and bitchy people. Babygirl is used sarcastically or affectionately depending on the scenario. Dollface or doll is saved for those that has peaked his interest or people he deeply cares about. Then you have your usual; cunt, bitch, mother fucker, asshole, dipshit. Sweetheart and toots are reserved for Amanda.

He swears like a sailor.

Is a natural night owl. Make him wake up before 11 am and he'll stab a bitch.

He used a voice modifier in his world, but he has no use for it in the fog. He still has it. It's named Roger.

He makes so many references to so many horror movies. It doesn't matter if whoever he's talking to has seen it or not.

Saw someone headcanon him to be autistic. Yeahhh. That's all I gotta say. Yeahhh.

Very common for him to not eat for days. Only because he forgets to eat. Same thing happens with using the bathroom. He just forgets.

Probably had fangirls in his world. He planned to kill one just to see what would happen. Never again. Just. Never again. The horrors he found in their bedroom could never be removed from his brain.

Depression? Can't be depressed if you're high on adrenaline 24/7.

Is a college drop out. He only started it as one of his identities. It was... boring.

Frat parties or parties in general is the bane of his existence. It's hard to stalk someone if they keep blending in with the crowd. But it's a good place to off someone, if he can keep his eyes on them.

Don't let him have access to anything that can start a fire. The Entity learned that the hard way.

[a-random-person-on-the-interent]

CALLING ALL PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE THE LOST CITIES AND THINK THEY'RE SHIT

we need to make like a discord or something to talk about it, or like write essays which I think I'm planning on doing, because the lost cities is shit, I feel very strongly about this as a disabled person, and you might ask why would me being disabled have anything to do with it, EUGENICS and the Talentless and even how disabled people are treated by the narrative. Because didn't Keefe descripe feeling talentless people as being hollow and not quite complete, WHICH IS WHAT DISABLED PEOPLE (or at least people with Autism like myself) HAVE BEEN CALLED FOR YEARS. I really want a charcter to have been born with a disability (ADHD, ASD, EDS, down syndrome, Dyslexia, dysgraphia, ect) or for the series to recognize that being talentless is having a disability or even the series to recongize mental health conditions (PTSD, BPD, Depression Schizoprenia, delusions) like Sophie has all the symptoms for PTSD, and one could argue she's dyslexic with her not being able to read runes. Also back to the eugenics talk, eugenics in history have been useally used on disabled people, like myself. There are no LGBTQ characters which can be fine, I'd like some but it's not a big problem expect... EUGENICS. the elves soiciety is based on Eugenics meaning that if someone was gay or lesbian or aroace, they probably would be scorned if not it being banned to be gay or lesbian. What about trans people? well the lost cities seem to function on that they are perfect the way they're born, and if one is not born perfect (Like the talentless) you are socially exiled. The susicde rates must be massive there, but I doubt anyone will talk about them because they'll be shamed.

Let's not even get into Exile cause that is just Touture, and I'm not kidding solitary confine meant is torture, fintans cell tourture, I'm not saying it isn't effective cause it is. but the elves claim to be morally superior to humans than do that. Memory breaks would also count as tourture as you are breaking someones mind till they are practically dead. And we saw how that effected Aladin. What about the white room tourture they had Vesperia be in for centuries. there politcal system is fucked too, Cause a friendship is just as important as a romantic relationship so if they wanted them to be completey unbiased the councliers shouldn't be allowed to have friends or family, and that doesn't stop the heart from from falling in love with someone and giving them special treatment.

I think anyone with half a brain could tell you that feeding carniverous animals strickly vegan diet is bad, so let's move on to the education system and I'm 90% sure that elves are just lying about how much they helped humans, like I'm 100% sure that Mr. Forkle only thinks he inspired Loki, cause if you know any myths about him you'd know they are not similar at all well maybe aside from the shapeshifting like didn't at one point they say they helped them discover electicity, like eceletricity was ORGINALLY discovered in 600 BCE they at that time were probbaly still living among humans, like I'm sorry but you guys probbaly didn't help with anything and might've actually prolonged the process because you thought you knew better. and y'know what they probbaly haven't even gotten to the center of the earth yet which is 2,9000 KM down, but back to education, it's so heavily bias, that all the other speices that aren't elves are like what the fuck is this, this isn't how it happened, so my best guess is that it's full of misinformation. Y'know what I should make a skit of, "If I was in the lost cities"

[illarian-rambling]

Hopping on this open tag from @kaylinalexanderbooks because I'm boooored at work!

OC Interaction Tag

Kaylin's OC: Rose is a twelve-year-old girl with dimensiokinesis, or dimension manipulation, though she mainly can just sense dimensions as she's working on the rest. Her mother has made her insecure about her weight and other parts of her appearance, but the one thing that makes her feel good is her art, outfits, and fashion designs, which she is very, very proud of. Though her personality has been repressed, Rose is actually very compassionate, friendly, and spontaneous. She doesn't let her emotions show, but she feels very deeply and strongly. Rose does like fun and excitement, she just hasn't had much of a chance to follow her impulses. Despite being more of an introvert, if her friend (and unrequited crush) Lexi is not there, she'll be the one at the lead making all the introductions and talking to others. She believes she can handle a lot more stress than she can, so she doesn't see the problem in, well, her problems stacking up. She likes doing things her way and defying anything that holds her back, though she is more patient despite going on impulse sometimes. It's not uncommon for others to see her as lazy or tell her she needs to do better at certain things. She's reluctant to accept the affection she craves, but when she opens up she's incredibly well-loved and charming. She doesn't stay angry and doesn't like arguing, even if she explodes when she does.

My OC: Astra DuClaire is a 25 year old human witch with vitiligo and a trademark ribbon coat she wears everywhere. She grew up on a debtor's farm and has worked her ass off to learn magic to support her family, even if she wasn't allowed to get a true university education on account of her low birth. This has given her a bit of a chip on her shoulder. From the outside, Astra is supremely confident, bordering on arrogant. She sings the praises of her infallible magic at any opportunity. This is a cover for a deep well of insecurity. Astra loves magic, but she's been told so many times that a debtor's daughter like her will never be a true mage that she's internalized that attitude, believing at her core that all her prized skills are flawed. Other than that, she's mouthy, with a crude sense of humor, and a deep desire to help people even if they're total strangers. Like all mages, her curiosity brings her to places most would never go. She also tends to act before thinking things through, probably on account of the adhd. This can result in her saying things she doesn't mean or even causing violence she didn't intend. Her hobbies include magic (duh), mechanics, and embroidery. Astra loves to sew and often incorporates runes into her designs. She is demisexual, but who needs a relationship when there's adventure to be had and massive amounts of emotional obliviousness to cloud your perception!

How they'd interact: Surprisingly, or maybe not, Astra has a soft spot for kids. I'm not saying she's good with kids (she will teach them to make fireworks and swear like a mechanic), but she does like them. That said, she would immediately want to protect Rose. Maybe fight her mom, idk. Given how good her relationship with her parents is, Astra despises people who treat their kids poorly. I'd like to think that seeing a woman with some extra curves be so confident in everything would help Rose with her body image a bit. Also, they can bond over fashion! They both design clothes and though I imagine their style is quite different, I think they'd have fun sewing together. Astra would be super curious about the 'dimension magic wackiness' and would want to run lots of tests. Probably, she'd be a little disappointed when this twelve-year-old doesn't hold the same rigorous adherence to the scientific method and also just can't answer half her questions. I think both of them might recognize the same emotional repression and explosive temper in each other. Astra would definitely try to help Rose admit her crush on Lexi, probably through some convoluted grand plan involving gifts and flowers. I think Rose would laugh to see just how deep in Astra is with her own crush, all while remaining painfully oblivious. They could wingman for each other, is what I'm getting at. All in all, I think these two would be great and Astra is still 100% trying to throw down with Rose's mom.

I'll tag @thecomfywriter @the-golden-comet @ominous-feychild @willtheweaver @mysticstarlightduck and anyone else who wants to play!

[smallblueandloud]

i'm trying to recognize when anxiety is making it hard to work on something, so. okay, i'm anxious about my ML homework and it's making me procrastinate. i have to code some things and then answer some questions about them. problems:

i'm not fully done with the coding section

it's very unclear if the code i've written is even right

i don't know if the parts of the writeup that i've done have enough detail

i'm scared i won't know how to do the last section of the writeup

if i want to finish this homework tonight (or at least make significant progress), i have to deal with all of these concerns eventually. so. how to resolve all of these?

the last part of the coding section is apparently straightforward and it doesn't really depend on the rest of the code. so. i can work on that now.

there's not really a way for me to check the code i've written. i'm getting results that semi-make sense and i think that's about as good as we can do. also, even if i have to edit my code later, it won't break everything (and it won't be super hard to edit my writeup as long as i have it Started)

...it won't have enough detail until i write it. also it'll be easier to add detail once i have Anything written down. (also, this is the first bit of homework, so once again there's kinda... not a way for me to check this. i just have to guess.)

hitting that wall will feel better if i have the rest of the homework done already

i don't know if thinking through this will help. but in the past i've just kinda... avoided things because i was afraid of making a choice or having to face something. and it turns out that it is almost ALWAYS better to make the choice or face the scary thing earlier rather than later. so here i am, trying to face it now.

[trickostars]

What r your thoughts on each Futuristic Four member 👀👀👀 (i am holding back a flood of excitement i like ur art btw)

WAHHH thank you I am also very excited. I have soo many thoughts. More under the cut

Violet

- I am totally unbiased abt her she totally isn’t my favourite incredibles character. I totally didn’t basically kin her when I was little

- also her speech about like “the government only gives rich people a slap on the wrist and lets them go” like girl the second supers get legalised you work for the government!! your mom works for a billionaire!! Do you know that?

- down to some headcanons. I think she’s very much the voice of reason in the four, between both of the boys being kinda impulsive and penny just eager to do things, someone has to make sure they don’t blow themselves up. She’s the only eldest child amongst the four and it heavily shows, half the time she looks like this:

- that said she isn’t above the mischief they all get up to, she likes being able to relax and not think with reason for a wee bit as long as it doesn’t cause mass destruction. She’s the logical friend but she isn’t like the mom friend or anything like that.

- she’s also the tank which is funny considering she looks like a twig but those shields + two traumatic experiences sure do a lot in terms of fighting skills.

- I also think she involves her life the least in the sphere of the four. she has a decent social life at home and she almost sees the four as an extension of her hero life rather than her personal life, they don’t know anything about tony and have never interacted with dash and Jack jack, maybe one time one of them interacted with her parents but it wasn’t what she wanted. this might cause problems down the line.

- she’s a very musical girlie, I definitely stole this from someone else but her friends like dropping off vintage vinyl in their homes to her since she doesn’t like buying them herself and she’s very much a teenager with music blaring from her room but it’s like. The Beatles or something instead of my chemical romance. until it IS my chemical romance because penny drops off one of her old cd players and you know violet would THRIVE with early y2k pop rock and it only gets better when Wilbur donates his mom and dad’s old cd collections. this ends up with her having insane taste, half franny’s broadway tracks, electro swing and emo phase and half lewis’ lonely island and weezer tracks

- she also very much is an “acts of service” kinda affectionate for her friends. She’s the tallest so she grabs things from high shelves, opens jars, luges things around the lab for Hiro, organises Penny’s stuff for her sometimes, definitely helps organise Wilbur’s space cause it’s a mess etc.

- oh and. idk if you wanted lgbt headcanons but. bi violet. she learns what it from one of the others (probably Hiro considering his friends are a fruit salad) and is like “OHHHH that makes sense.”

Wilbur

- there’s something wrong with him. I fully believe that it is not the future that is Like That but in fact just the Robinsons that are Like That and that becomes more believable when you realise most of the weirder robinsons’ family members were kids, teens and young adults right between y2k and now. They are pretty much eccentric rich people, but like morally good.

- he’s not much of an engineer or inventor like his dad but is actually way more artsy like his mom, but instead of music he likes model making and Lego like stuff. he’s thinking of studying architecture when he’s older though he’s pretty unsure of his path forward in life in general. He’s only a kid.

- in general actually he’s pretty unsure of himself, often dotting back from interest to interest, whim to whim until it doesn’t interest him. 99% sure he has adhd tbh but surprisingly he doesn’t struggle with things like school, but more with his sense of identity, he cannot define himself properly quite often and is constantly driven to find a purpose in life, since both of his parents knew who they were rather early in life and as he gets older this is just a more stressful prospect to him. He is very loud and boisterous to make up for this

- so as can be expected, the adventure that landed him to meet the others was just a whim that stuck. And maybe he feels guilty for that but he’s happy it happened.

- he’s very much the kinda teenager boy who sees himself as invulnerable and he often is the one who creates humiliatingly dangerous scenarios the other three have to save him from. Sadly, none of these saves have halted his own belief in his invulnerability, but instead made him wanna reach greater heights of almost dying. at least he’s pushing his friends’ limits, both power wise and nerve wise.

- I headcanon he didn’t really do school, more like a private tutor, as the youngest in his entire family and only child he very much is the kinda kid who’s best friend is one of his uncles or his cousins. No, he doesn’t let any of the others come around to his, his parents would kill him, does he steal the Time Machine to visit at least one of them at least ONCE a day, of COURSE what ELSE will he do all day??

- to no ones surprise, he’s very much the distraction of the group, a master of distracting people as much as himself so Hiro and violet can GET em. It’s how he makes up for being the one who starts most of the fights.

- definitely organises group dnd sessions that he dms and when he gets bored he sculpts their characters for funsies. he has 10k+ word docs worth of lore.

- speaking of which, loves giving gifts, usually little models and projects he makes.

Hiro

- he is the most social member of the group but it was not his decision, he inherited his brother’s friend group of full grown adults and I’m not entirely sure if he would be socially conscious enough to keep up with the four if not for everyone wanting him to finally have friends his own age. It’s not that he doesn’t like any of his friends, in fact he loves a lot of people pretty easily, it’s just that he gets dragged down in his personal projects so much that he maybe struggles to put in effort a wee bit sometimes.

- he is also the main host for hangouts, in his workshop or the cafe because the other four can poke around too much in his bedroom and he doesn’t really like anyone going near tadashi’s part of the room or messing around with his “order” of things, aka the mess he understands.

- it was priority one after they all become besties that he design supersuits for them, he especially liked the challenge of actually working and amplifying violet’s power while creating abilities for penny and wilbur. for penny he of course included bolt as well, copying a lot of the tech shown in the movie to make them a tag team duo with matching coloured armour while wilbur he just gave green lantern construct thingies. He gave them these as a gift and sadly none of them get a lot of use out of them but they appreciate it none the less and he enjoyed the project A LOT.

- he is also very much a gift giver, he’s not good with words so effort is the best he can show.

- he’s a little bit hypocritical in that if he gets hurt he’s very stubborn with baymax’s attempts to heal him but if ANY of his friends get even a scratch on them he’s pushing Baymax on them like “no no, get that cleaned up. get a bandaid. come on. Don’t fight him about it.” With his arms crossed

- he felt so awkward when he introduced the six to the four. they got along great, besides some lingering awkwardness and Fred’s joking attempt at a rivalry but he couldn’t help but feel like SOMETHING was gonna go wrong at every turn. He was surprised in fact to see them get along so well.

- Hiro often acts as the secondary fighter for them all, most of the time when he’s with them he doesn’t have access to Baymax so he just tries his best with armour and it’s small amount of gear.

- he’s the one who gets talked into doing dumb things for the sake of doing them. He doesn’t have the teenage boy invulnerability of Wilbur, more like the scientific mind that wants to do the most dangerous version of every test on mythbusters. He always has Baymax on stand by, his fatal flaw is just thinking that will always be enough.

- oh and just as a wee add on, I like to imagine him as autistic and aroace. And maybe trans, mostly because the idea of Baymax doing t-shots is fun to me.

Penny

- probably my biggest character change, cause penny is a wee bit nothing in the original movie. Not her choice really but there are things to expand on which I do. I know one of the more common things to do is make penny an actual secret agent like she in her show but I think it’s funnier for her to just be like. a retired child actor who hangs out with a bunch of superheroes and geniuses by accident. She is just a guy.

- But she is a very traumatised guy, between the fire incident and just y’know- being a child star for a semi Disney coded network, she’s got some stuff going on. Mainly breathing problems and some panic attacks. Thankfully, Bolt is a very job-oriented dog so with acting out of the picture, they had him trained up as a therapy animal which of course he does amazingly and diligently. Her mom moving them onto a farm was also very much a part of this, the clean air and work she thought would be good for her.

- She’s just now adjusting to being a more regular child, having acted for a long time, and is on the path back into integrating into school but she has yet to make any friends, especially not her own age. She’s often stuck at home so she’s very welcoming to her friends’ visits to her as it eats up her time.

- Penny’s place is the most common hangout spot for all of them as it’s just her, her mom and the animals and a lot of room to do whatever they want. Penny is always find with them being around and actively makes attempts to keep em around as long as possible so she doesn’t go stir crazy, week long sleepovers in summer and stuff like that.

- She also likes how if she travels to any of their own time period, she doesn’t have to deal with the fear of paparazzi and gossip tabloids and that’s probably why she’d rather travel to San Fransokyo for anything like buying a toothbrush or a snack rather than drive down the road.

- Treats Baymax like a pet quite often, petting him and calling him a good boy just out of habit, the others find it funny but she always gets embarrassed.

- she’s the healer of the group, when Baymax isn’t around, and Bolt acts as an attack dog part time. she gets panicked a lot by seeing her friends hurt so running in with a medkit to clean them up is always her top priority. She hides it well but it stresses her out when hiro and violet aren’t around cause she’s worried they’ll get grievously injured in battle.

- she’s also big on words of affirmation, team hypeman to the extreme. She cares about her friends a whole lot and she will tell them exactly why with no excuse or insecurity allowed. This doesn’t go over well most of the time considering violet and hiro can’t handle compliments and wilbur will soak it in with way too wide a grin.

[fuck-you-official]

sometimes it takes all my self-control not to stand up and punch you square in the face. you do everything you must to convince yourself you're a good parent, but you don't even treat me like my own person. I don't care if you think everything you do is for my own good, I GET TO DECIDE WHAT'S FOR MY OWN GOOD. I am a whole fucking adult and frankly this behavior was unacceptable even before I was. you may not scream repetitive denials of my basic rights in my face every time I try to say I feel my privacy's being violated anymore, but I bet half of that is because I stopped bothering with speaking up. of course, if I did try to explain how even your attempts at "helping" me deny my agency and control over MY OWN BELONGINGS AND SPACE, you wouldn't understand - but you'd feel just sooooo hurt that your little girl won't let you help. even when I told you years ago that I'm not your little girl. of course, you denied that too - for my own good! because obviously I can't make any life decisions for myself. that's been a running theme here, hasn't it? you impose your shit on me and expect me to be grateful. you woefully wonder why I never ask for help. of course I'd never actively invite your allegedly-benevolent control! fuck off! god I wish I could solve my problems with violence sometimes. but no. I can't even politely request to be allowed to leave when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I don't care if it's an avoidant response to the trauma YOU CAUSED ME, that's my problem to figure out. you fuckin lost your privileges to my personal life when I was 13. I don't know why I keep telling myself "oh, this time I think she's really changed! I should give her another chance!" every damn year. in order to change, you'd first have to actually listen to me when I talk about how you hurt me. getting defensive and saying roundabout shit like "I don't remember ever saying that, but if I did, I'm sorry that you were hurt… anyway parenting doesn't come with a manual and I was doing my best and I was dealing with a lot of stress and my parents basically left me to fend for myself when I was your age" and then FORGETTING THAT I EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT (MULTIPLE TIMES) doesn't fucking cut it. girlie I have adhd too but my memory sure as hell isn't so selective in a pattern. I don't know why I keep trying to salvage our relationship just because things are nice when I don't open up or offer any friction. I probably will again. I need something physical to break, the anger in my body is building up like tension in a rubber band

.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

I have dyscalculia. It sucks. I dont talk about it a lot because I forget I have it, because it's just... normal for me.

Dyscalculia is a mathematical learning disability, but it's more than that. It's getting numbers mixed up, seeing one number when it's another and hearing numbers and equations feels like your brain is being grated through a cheesegrater. It sucks.

(This is a long post so yea keep reading it under the cut i guess)

I couldn't tell you the amount of times that this causes problems for me. Just in everyday life.

My brain sees numbers and maths and equations as pain. I dont understand them. And yeah.

I can remember being in grade 3 and crying in the middle of maths because I just couldn't get it. And because no one understood why it was so hard for me. It doesn't helpt that im autistic and have adhd and a bunch of other fun stuff going on too.

And one of the worst parts about it is how misunderstood it is and how under-informed about discalculia a lot of people are. Because it's estimated that 3-6% of the global population have dyscalculia, that is 474 million people at most and half of that at the least (it had a 3 somewhere i think?)

But like. So many people probably just think they're dumb. So many people.

Anyway. Im just mad I guess. Cause every time I google stuff about it and how to cope with it there's like "how to help your child with dyscalculia" and then it says to use flash cards and repetition. And then the rest of the websites are about dyslexia and like sure good we need those but come on. And like. People just don't get it. Idk how to explain this.

[annekewrites]

"You're doing great! You're a real trooper!"

TMI medical/dental/etc. stuff and things that were traumatic for me adjacent to that beyond cut, jsyk.

Okay. So what you need to know for background sake is that I have not had ANY non-urgent/emergency medical anything done since...considerably before covid started, for Reasons that look like this, as I think of them:

Phone anxiety from hell - I can override it for work or in a real emergency but it's one of the worst mental spoon drains. Probably related to the days when phone calls not from family or my very closest friends were 90% bill collectors and 9% other stuff I really didn't want to deal with.

Fear of committing to an appointment, not being able to keep it for whatever reason, and then getting dropped by the practice - this happened to me once with the only endodontist who would take my insurance without, like, a six-month wait.

Multiple awful experiences taking kids to appointments and them not getting appropriate care, including but not limited to the time my son's former primary care doc wanted to prescribe estrogen-containing birth control pills to deal with menstrual dysphoria, the time we got kicked out of the ER with my daughter, and the time the other ER threatened to call CPS on us because we were supposedly letting our preteen kids drink hard liquor and watch porn (NO????????) instead of dealing with the reason we were there.

Multiple awful experiences my husband has had, including the time he had a hypertensive crisis but as soon as they heard he was on psych meds they assumed he was also using illegal drugs and possibly committing DV (no???), the time the "Wellness Management Clinic" told him to crash diet AND divorce me if I refused to crash diet with him, and the time the primary care doc's record office confused the Vicodin he got with his wisdom teeth extraction with an ongoing daily prescription.

The horrible unethical therapist I had 15ish years ago, yikes.

I'm a fat woman with adult-diagnosed ADHD, and my last primary care doc was all "you don't really need Strattera because your ADHD isn't that bad, you got to this appointment on time just fine!" (CLEARLY this woman had never heard of Appointment Mode. Sigh.)

Thanks to the above, I'm afraid of being seen as "doctor-shopping" or drug-seeking, as well as just getting yelled at for being fat and not having been to the doctor in way too long.

So yeah. I get my shots, I go to urgent care when something obvious needs urgent care (possible strep, the stress fractured foot earlier this year), but I haven't had regular anything done in way too long.

I figured the first step in dealing with this was to get back in therapy. So I found a practice that would book new patients online, and there I selected a therapist who is queer and a parent, because (as I said to them) "there's a whole lot I just won't have to explain!" And I wrote on my intake form that one of the big things I wanted to work on was my medical anxiety, because it is actively causing Problems.

Next, while bringing my son to get dental work done and noticing that he seemed very comfortable with that practice, I decided "since I'm in the waiting room anyway, let's get me in and get this party started, I know there is a mess in my mouth." And I've had the botched-root-canal tooth pulled, which was apparently a challenged, and half of my mouth has had the periodontal deep clean with the other half to be done in two weeks, plus a couple of fillings and prep and temp crowns for a bridge to fill in where a tooth was pulled before.

And the whole time I keep hearing that I'm doing great! And that's helping so so much tbh when I expect to just be yelled at and treated with scorn and that's...not what is happening. It makes me feel like maybe I can go to the actual doctor and have it not be awful, too?

I'm trying.