#adulthood woes

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

and me also I feel not so good

[verybadatcardgames]

I know plenty of people like to daydream about Kaiba Corporation being a cool company to work for and how Seto is a "good billionaire" who would take care of his employees

But there is a whole ass episode in GX dedicated to two men fighting to get hired by Pegasus because it's well known throughout the industry that Industrial Illusions pays their employees more and offers better benefits compared to working for an institution that is founded and owned by Seto Kaiba.

Just putting that out there.

[meatsound]

still think my psych thinking i have autism is so funny because it explains. everything.

[quietplaceinthestars]

Wasp feelings btw.

[greaterspawnislands]

the world kind of feels like it’s falling apart on me but also strawberries were just 99 cents for a pound so i bought two of them and i’m feeling a little better about things :)

[mxgyver]

.

[serethereal]

um so. mondays. what's up w that?

[blooming-inthedark]

I’M HAPPY FOR YOU

but. i can’t be 100% present enough to share your joy because i’m... emulous. and please understand, this makes me feel very shitty. i wish this wasn’t my truth.

currently, three of my female friends are very pregnant. all 3 of them are married. all 3 of them are due within the next month.  all 3 of them are having boys, ironically. and all 3 of them are of course very excited about entering motherhood with their bundle of joy, thus, sharing parts of the very happy but sometimes painful and emotional journey with me.  and of course, i am happy to sit by and listen to the emotional vents, the funny food cravings and cry spells, the random information about do’s and don’ts of pregnancy, and buying all the gifts [that i can afford] for the baby showers! what an exciting time in my friends’ lives, and i get a front row - well, maybe a 7th row seat if i’m being realistic (because hey, niggas be busy with work and life) - to all of the action. 

there’s so much excitement that earlier this week, another one of my female friends revealed to me that she just discovered she is 2 months pregnant. surprise! omg! congratulations! yayy!

but i’m not gonna lie. somehow, hearing this additional exciting news sort of punched me in the gut a little bit. because that little asshole critical voice came through loud and clear.

this is your 4th friend to be with child. the other three are married and she’s engaged. oh, and two of your other friends just closed on a new house this month, with their spouse/partner. two of your friends are high earners. one of your friends from high school wrote a movie and just sold it to a popular TV network. your actor friends? they either gave it up in confidence because they found another passion, or they’re getting booked. so... what is it that you’re doing again?

i know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. and it’s not even that i desire to have a baby, get married, or get a house right now like my friends. those are things that i want in my future, but none of them are really my ‘right now’ goals. the problem is that everyone around me has something in their lives that they can draw joy from, and i no longer have that. 

now, i’m not romanticizing their lives and assuming that because they have babies, high paying jobs and marriages means that everything is perfect for them. i know that this isn’t true for anyone. everyone has to deal with some level of sorrow, disappointment, pain, or general bullshit. but that sorrow, disappointment, pain and general bullshit is maybe underlining or sprinkled into their circumstances. it doesn’t HEADLINE their existence. 

my frustration since i’ve moved to GA has been losing the balance of things i wanna do vs. things i don’t wanna do... things i like vs. things i really dislike... having a community vs. being by myself...

it seems like everything in my daily routine leaves me drained and passionless. my job is remote, so i spend every day waking up, just to go and sit in the living room. all day. my hours are late, so i miss out on the mingling/networking/playtime events for other actors. by the time i’m off work i’m too tired and annoyed to do anything else other than eat and watch something on tv. my best bet for staying active with creative endeavors is paying for classes but my rent has gone up and my pay has remained the same so i can mostly afford a manicure and a scented candle with what i have left over after bills. i’ve tried to find new jobs, specifically something that doesn’t leave me sitting all day and involves more people interaction. but so far i’ve only gotten rejection emails. the only people who have reached out were scams or didn’t pay enough for me to live off of. 

i’ve also been dealing with a phorid fly issue in my apartment during the warm months that the leasing office has done nothing to combat.  they are not like fruit flies and drain flies, hanging out in one area. they are attracted to light and alcohol and other random shit. they dart in and out of my face all day at work and i’ve been miserable. (luckily because the weather is getting cold they are finally slowly going away) i know i won’t be renewing, but because of the rent prices here and my lack of decent pay, i haven’t been able to find another apartment in budget that isn’t in a crime ridden area or infested with bugs. 

i’ve started and stopped trying to form a physical fitness routine. i try to leave the house on weekends just to say i didn’t spend my entire week in my apartment. i facetime one of my friends every day just to have some people interaction. the few friends i have here i’m able to hang with seldomly, but again we’re all adults with lives and it isn’t very often.

maybe i have a warped sense of what life should look like as a single person who has moved away from their entire family and primary community base. maybe i am stubborn and not willing to sacrifice enough to change my circumstances. perhaps i’m right around the corner from that random, unexpected life changing moment that will turn things around. 

all i know is, at this stage in my life, it has been tough to be happy for others without being reminded that there isn’t much happiness in my own life, and how scary it feels to know it has been this way for a while. naturally you figure ‘i’m the common denominator’ so its gotta be something i’m doing wrong. but this only brings more self loathing. 

i really don’t want every post on this blog to be me complaining and being emotional about things that have hurt or disappointed me in my life. but damn. this is how its going and writing it down helps. 

hoping nobody reads this and judges me. knowing that your opinion means nothing. respectfully. :)

#sigh

envy - 7 me - 0

[arysthaeniru]

Sometimes I wish the characters in Three Houses/Three Hopes got way older in the timeskip. 

Of course, the tragedy of Fodlan is that it’s a bunch of children fighting a war only a third of them actually believe in, just like most real wars. They barely know who they are, what they want, or what they believe about the war--half of them are only fighting because of family ties or friendships, and then they might die anyway. 

But think about the heightened tragedy of being in your thirties or forties and fightng this same war and looking across the field and for a moment, seeing a flash of the children you were once friends with and now you are uncertain if that child still remains underneath the armour? And feeling protective of that child who once existed and yet tied to these convictions and morals and sides that you’ve already chosen....I just think the recruitments and the drama of switching sides would be so much more impactful if they’re not literally a couple of years out of high school. I think the nostalgia of the shining garden that was the Garreg Mach monastery (and the awful secrets hidden underneath the veneer of paradise) would be such a more interesting thing when they’re older and a little more experienced. 

[youstillgivemebaddreams]

this week has been an absolute shit show and i’ve just been too shocked and stressed to cry but today?? today i’ve been crying non stop and i really want a hug

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

ok new prayer request: i really don't like my job. it's basically three jobs run out of the same shop, and I am only barely making miminum wage. it's frustrating and stresses me out so bad that I keep getting headaches, which NEVER happened this much before. the reason I'm here is because it is literally the ONLY place I applied that gave me the time of day, and because my boss and manager and coworkers are super nice.

I want a different job. something that maybe I'm not doing three(3) different jobs and only barely getting paid for one(1). maybe something that's just ONE SINGULAR JOB that I can be confident in instead of feeling like I'm constantly juggling things running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I also want to move. I want to get out of my parents' house and out of this tiny little two-horse town. I'd like to try and chip away at my ambitions and I just can't do that here, no matter how much my parents try to convince me I could have a small career here and stay in this town. I don't want to. I want to move.

the camp that my church has done retreats at is hiring for this summer. I'd make just about the same or possibly a little more working there than I do at my job currently for the same amount of time. and it's something I would LIKE to do. it's something that wouldn't make me so frustrated or anxious I believe and it also includes the opportunity to learn some higher-level production technology and possibly a connection to a major regional production company, which is the industry I want to work in.

I have two main hangups right now:

number one, the big one, is that for the last several months, for a while honestly, I've been struggling with some thought patterns and temptations that are sinful and wrong which I keep slipping back into those thoughts, letting my mind and imagination have the reins, and the habits that fuel this sin. I won't go into a ton of detail but some of my mutuals know a little. I'm working on it, but I have repeatedly messed up and turned back to these habits and that makes me feel like I shouldn't work at a Christian camp, since I'm struggling with (in my mind) a fairly major sin issue. however the camp's belief statement does mention the importance and value of repentance and growth, so there is that

the second issue is that I would feel SO bad for leaving my current job. I've only been here 6 months and everyone has been so kind to me and my manager is having a lot of family and personal issues and I would feel guilty for leaving so soon.

but I have this opportunity, which could be a REALLY good opportunity in many ways and would be something that I find PURPOSE in instead of just getting through the day. I'm praying on it, and I'm praying on my sin issues of the last half-year, but I would like to ask for additional prayer here on all these counts, too. I have confessed (mainly to people I trust here, since it's stuff I don't want to discuss with my mom lol) and repented but I have slipped and backsliding repeatedly, literally up until this week. I do think that wanting this camp job is a good motivator for growth in this, though. i could just use wisdom and prayer and peace about all this as I try to figure out what to do. thanks 😅💖

[cubitodragon-moved]

I have a meeting in 10 minutes and work to do all day, but all I want to do is skive off and write more of my Forever in the Nether fic grumble grumble

[ilnaankhatai45-blog]

he is right. adulthood has been nothing but a pain

[smokesandsonatas]

Theory and Analysis

The Legacy of the Shroud and Draconia Families: The Prodigy and the Miracle

I haven't posted anything in ages, but in the span of a day, I have caught up to everything happening in TWST. All I could say is -

Wow.

Should I miss or incorrectly put the lore, feel free to correct me.

Warning: Spoilers, long post, language, and crude humour.

Without further ado, let's get into the post. All credits belong to their owners.

+++

The Shroud clan

The Shrouds have been in existence for a really long time. Their ancestor was "appointed a Gatekeeper back in the age of gods and goddesses." Let's assume that was thousands of years ago. Due to this task of essentially keeping the balance in TWST World, Tartarus was built, and henceforth S.T.Y.X was 'formed' about 100 years ago.

Due to their long history, the Shrouds are rich, rivaling the Al-Asims in terms of wealth. According to Vil, they are a branch of Jupiter Enterprises. An influential conglomerate that essentially built Google Chrome, or maybe Facebook, and Amazon of TWST.

The Shrouds reside on the Island of Woe. It is not on any map, therefore it is completely hidden from the public due to the fact it is literally built under the sea.

For the secret organization, Lillia said that a legend goes like this, "When a wizard forgets themselves and succumbs to their own power, punishment from the Island of Woe shall befall them."

The Shrouds are tasked with such a heavy job that about a hundred years ago, they were cursed, preventing them from escaping their duties. This curse manifested in their flaming blue hair, burning off accumulated blot. But if there's no blot to burn, the curse instead eats their magical energy. That's why the Shrouds, especially Idia having inherited the curse from his father, must now be in constant close state of OB to survive.

Idia's grandmother, Aidne/Idone Shroud, is known to have this curse. Both her and her son, Mr. Shroud are using magical devices to combat it.

The Shroud Prodigy and Tragedy

Idia is a prodigy. Born a genius in the Island of Woe. As a child his intellect far surpasses the adult researchers at S.T.Y.X. With this impressive show of his potential, his fate is sealed: Idia will become the next head of the Shroud family.

Ortho's life is a tragedy. He was born, and then he died. Then he was reborn again as a humanoid robot that Idia created while in complete isolation for 2 years. Complete with the 'real' Ortho's memories, personality, and appearance.

This is Idia's way of coping with the guilt that consumes him. Blaming himself for his only brother's death.

Why wouldn't Mama and Papa Shroud do something about this?

I like to think that they did try to console Idia. From the looks of it, they do love their children equally. But they also have to grieve too. They also suffer the same guilt Idia feels because suddenly the portal that they're supposed to monitor as the Director and Chief Engineer of S.T.Y.X breaks open, resulting in the death of their younger son. [But I think Idia's unique magic has something to do with the incident.]

It is important to note that Mama and Papa Shroud treat 'Ortho' as their real child, not a replacement of their dead son. With the events ending in Ignihyde chapter, Ortho is on his way to becoming his own person.

Combining his brother's 'death', the responsibility of running S.T.Y.X in the future, the constant state of near OB just to stay alive, and the isolation made Idia the genius, foul-mouthed, introvert prodigy dorm leader of Ignihyde.

As of Diasomnia chapter, Papa and Mama Shroud, the Director and Chief Engineer of S.T.Y.X respectively, are trying to get in touch, or are now in touch, with Queen Maleficia, Malleus' grandmother.

The Draconia family

The Draconias are nocturnal fae, tracing back their long lineage to dragons. They all possibly have horns protruding from their heads. Their lifespans can go on for centuries. A Draconia will reach adulthood at the age of 1,000 years old. That lifespan is longer than the kind of fae like Lilia.

Simplified:

If Malleus reach 1,000 years old, he'll be only known as an adult Draconia, but for Lilia, 1,000 years is his whole lifespan.

In the current events of TWST, we only know 3 Draconias so far.

Queen Maleficia, Princess Mallenoire/Malenoa, and the only known male heir, Malleus.

Not much is known about them, except the current queen (has been for a long time) is Queen Malefecia, the grandmother. She adopted Lilia and Levan, the father of Malleus and Princess Malenoa's husband. The royalty in Briary Valley is complete with senators, dukes, royal guards, and is just basically a monarchy of faes.

The Draconias, and most fae creatures, reside in Briar Valley. There are forests that are pitch black, giving an advantage to nocturnal faes, like Lilia. It is also rich in magical minerals.

In Diasomnia chapter, Malleus put up a barrier of thorns that is going around or extending throughout Sage Island, essentially marking it as his domain, and everyone in this domain will remain asleep, dreaming. It is worth noting that Malleus is said to be one of the top strongest mages, as evidenced by this:

"S.T.Y.X. together with the Magical Force, and the Briar Valley’s royal family attempted to break into Malleus Draconia’s domain, but… "

"Neither physical nor magical attacks could make a dent."

"The thorns do not discriminate between humans and fae, and anyone attempting to enter just get sucked into the field."

Because he's a fae, he gets energy from his surroundings. Therefore if Malleus' keeps extending his barrier, he will get stronger. Heed that not even Queen Maleficia can get through the barrier her grandson had created. With this scenario, it effectively puts Malleus, a little bit stronger than her.

The Draconia Miracle

I contemplated saying the Draconian Miracle but either way is fine.

If we are to consider Malleus as a miracle manifest in itself, let's first look at the way he was born.

The prelude of Malleus' birth is chaos.

During or even before he emerged from his shell, Briar Valley is going through a fae-human war. Starting when the humans started populating and abusing the place. Note that their population started with only a small sailing ship, and throughout the years they multiplied.

Princess Mallenoire/Malenoa/Mallenoa is the mother of Malleus, and she, by far is the strongest defense of the land, as said by Lillia.

But before Malleus can even crack the shell, his mother is already gone. Going by the angst route, let's assume she died protecting her egg that houses her son.

Makes you wonder how brutal the fight must be to 'kill' a mother dragon protecting her only child.

Levan/Revern, a raven fae or a dragon duke in some sources, is his father. He is a diplomat of Briar Valley, therefore his task falls into making allies, not enemies.

Yet, he did not return.

It is presumed that he died in an ambush, or possibly has a new identity. If he is alive it is cruel for him to not come back to his unhatched son. I am not saying Crowley is Malleus' father but there's a chance that Crowley is related to the Draconias, in one way or another.

Now, why is Malleus considered a miracle?

Because he was born against all odds. His birth is a highly impossible event, yet it did happen.

Due to his parents' absence, this effectively made the hatching of Malleus uncertain. Dragon eggs can hatch within 2-3 years of laying if showered with love and cared for.

[ This part is taken from the accounts of Lilia's dream in the Diasomnia chapter, where Silver is also surprised by the huge gap of the war and the dragon heir's birth.]

Malleus' birth is delayed by 200 years, because he has no one to care for him. It is truly pitiful that even before his birth, Malleus is abandoned.

Why wouldn't Queen Maleficia love her unhatched grandson? Is her love and power not enough to hatch Malleus?

I bet she did, but she also has grieve the death of her only child. On top of that, she has to be strong because she's a queen of a country. Any sign of weakness can mean the humans threatening her or even one of the faes betraying them, putting her family and the nation in danger.

The thought of the Draconia bloodline ending with her likely filled her with depression. Also, Queen Maleficia is not Malleus birth mother, only his grandmother. So that is not enough for a dragon egg to hatch, since it needed the love from his birth parents. I like to think that this part is where Lilia, as his caretaker will come in. Lilia's loyalty to Draconias extended to Malleus, softening the heart of the war-torn general, enough that he had the sympathy to adopt a human child.

It took 200 long years for Malleus to emerge from his egg shell and when he did, Briar Valley celebrated his birth. Matter of fact, his birthday is a public holiday.

Defying the odds is another powerful instance why Malleus is born to be a king faes, the valley and the abyss.

The parallels between Idia (the prodigy) and Malleus (the miracle)

[Is it me or they both look good?!]

Both Malleus and Idia grew up in isolation.

Literally.

[Island of Woe and Briary Valley are two places in the middle of seven-knows-what. Anyway...!]

With Malleus as the only heir, and Idia as the first born, they both have huge responsibilities on their shoulders. We're talking about responsibilities scaling nations and the safety of huge populations.

Idia's childhood is tragic with the death of his brother. But we can argue that Malleus' childhood is tragic too, with the disappearance of his parents.

Malleus grew up isolated and protected in the castle. His only confidant for decades is Lilia, his caretaker. And even then, Malleus said that Lilia is prone to going away for long periods of time.

For Idia, his only companion for the 2 years he locked himself in his room is the prototype of Ortho that he's building.

Idia represents the uncanny future, and Malleus represents the eerie past.

Think of it this way, if you put Malleus in Island of Woe where everything is about technology, I bet he will say something about the importanc of the past and teleport back to his place.

If you put Idia in Briar Valley... man's not even going to survive the night. He will lament his poor WiFi connection.

They compliment each other well: One doesn't want to be approached and the other is unapproachable.

Both Idia and Malleus are some of the loneliest students in NRC. Idia doesn't have social cues, and Malleus... doesn't have good social cues either.

They're both so awkward when interacting with others it becomes endearing.

As awkward as they are, both are arrogant too. Every time Idia regards himself as the acting leader of S.T.Y.X and Malleus as the future king, sends a thrill or.pride to whoever can hear them. [Go forth children! Be the leaders of the TWST world.]

And they will be leaders. As heavy as the mantle of Shroud and Draconia is, Idia and Malleus will have no choose but to shoulder on. That's why I think the battle between (yuu), Idia along with NRC against Malleus will be tragically beautiful.

+++

Fun fact: Hades tried to ask Maleficent out in a date once, lol.

+++

There's a reason why all of a sudden the story of TWST started to become more serious in the Ignihyde chapter and just hit the fan in Diasomnia. Soon, were about to find out why.

Idia and Malleus are the complete opposite yet their existence compliments each other so well.

One is a keeper of the underworld, and the other the blessing of maleficence.

And then there's Yuu, trying to uncover the secrets of Twisted Wonderland.

[ridthewaste]

Jax's Young Adulthood and Tribulations (Headcanon)

alright you animals have CLEARLY made up your minds about what you want the most lmao (according to THIS poll)

So here it is; Jax’s young adulthood, and the way he carried himself after moving away from the farm and into the Big City™️

(as always, asks are open regarding anything, especially suggestions! sorry for the WAY longer wait than expected)

As Jax had grown older, so eroded the doubt in his mind as to whether or not he belonged anywhere else but the cities. He loved his family, of course - but there was more to life than a farmstead, and his brothers felt the same, albeit with different aspirations (or lack thereof). His parents did not take it personally, rather the opposite; they encouraged their children to make a life that they themselves desired rather than stick it out helping them on the farm...although, within reason, considering their tendency to be rabble-rousers in the neighbourhood.

Jax was, funnily enough, the first one to leave, viewing the farmer's life as "unfit" for someone like him. Managing to acquire his high school diploma with grades half-decent enough to get him into a university. He opted for a major in Business - having a charismatic sense of self and an initial desire to utilize it as a future career somehow, being interested in advertising in particular. His older brother left right after him, but instead decided to skip over post-secondary education, opting directly into trade work. His younger brother, two years later, would follow Jax into university, instead pursuing a degree in Communications.

Moving to the city lead to a few changes in Jax's style of living; most prominently, he grew a desire to look and feel accustomed to the city lifestyle, particularly in the way he dressed. To say he dressed "nicely" was, of course, subjective, but his affinity towards cheap blazers, sunglasses, and shiny wristwear was quite the change from his otherwise teenage casual demeanor from his youth. In a roundabout, sleazy-type way, he certainly succeeded in looking the part of someone who had lived in a city their whole lives.

Ultimately, however, his desire to change his style was done not just to embrace his newfound urban comforts, but to additionally distance himself from his upbringing. As he grew more conscious of it whilst he grew older, he almost became embarassed by the fact that he had been raised on a farm, and this multiplied tenfold once he left home. He may be confident that he has no Hoosier accent (which, in truth, he does not) - but it is difficult, to say the least, to forget that he has a farmers tan underneath his hip, urban fabrics.

How the world views him ends up being the least of his problems during his tenure as a student - the pressure of his degree, coupled with the stresses of living on his own for the first time end up not boding well for the young man, and, halfway through his second year at the university, he opts to silently drop out, deciding not to inform his family of his academic woes, much less his parents. He couldn't possibly tell them, after all; the embarassment of being down on his luck for his first time living alone, as well as the possiiblity of returning to the farm life was not something he would have them worry about.

Though deterred a bit, Jax was determined not to have the world put an end to his vague-ended aspirations. After all, he was still receiving money from back home, with his parents doing what they could for their children if it meant helping them live how they would like. Jax opted, rather than face the music, to simply lie about his predicament; informing his parents that things were going fine, and that the checks they wrote from the farm were covering his groceries well enough, and that he was looking at a promising position in some kind of city-based company.

Much to his older brother's chagrin (and his younger brother's ignorance), this strategy worked well for Jax. Working some odd jobs, and engaging in lucrative side hustles - primarily gambling and sports betting - he was able to pay his bills as he sought a way to get a more stable employment without an actual degree, all while receiving some willing - and unwilling - help from his brothers. Though some guilt over his dishonesty to his parents lingered, what else really mattered at the end of the day other than the fact that he was making his own money?

This state of affairs would continue for the next few years, until a seemingly lucrative opportunity would present itself - an internship position for a particular software company specializing in virtual entertainment mediums. Viewing it as the perfect result of his would-be business degree, he was able to, once again, lie about his qualifications with a bit of help from his brothers. Luckily enough, they were in need of new help, and as such did not look too closely at his background.

Now, he had his first real job; an unassuming position at an interesting new company! Something to show off to his folks, to prove that he belonged in the hustle and bustle of the city - to show to the world.

All he had to do now, was maintain the course...

[olderthannetfic]

Anon from 722398181104795649 again about YA as a G-D and it's failure(s). Your response is really interesting because it definitely aligns with the market research I've had to do over the last 3-ish months for work. Adult YA readers want YA to skew older superficially as escapism from the woes of adulthood (It's like someone who orders a pasta with broccoli in it because they appreciate the flavor it brings, but they have no interest in actually eating their vegetables). Teenagers feel alienated by the G-D that is meant for them no longer allows them to confront said woes with honesty or maturity for their age to prepare them for adulthood or discussing broader ideas. More teenagers skip over YA altogether or just reader adult genre fiction with some Middle Grade fiction mixed in because the teenagers feel in MG, there's still an honesty to the stories that they can understand, having once been young children. In short: teenagers think YA books are talking down to or patronizing them.

The result is YA authors pushing for NA, New Adult, as a G-D, which hasn't taken off within tradpub outside of romance circles. Mostly, because what they're pushing for is already an established genre for around a century: campus novels--books about characters 18+ who are entering college, establishing independence, beginning to explore sexuality and enter the workforce, etc. But, again, YA adult readers refuse to engage with adult genre fiction because there isn't the facade of protection from adult themes or topics, and there's an aggressive refusal among many agents in literary fiction (and some adult genre fiction) to encourage authors to sanitize their stories. YA authors began attempting to cross over into adult genre fiction with mixed, but overwhelmingly negative, results, as they cannot shake the stigma of writing YA. And the genre fiction crowds they want to appeal to have higher standards, typically, than the average YA writer is able to meet. YA authors then complain about the differences in publishing YA and genre adult fiction. It's like when MCU actors and directors get upset when prestige film directors don't consider MCU movies to be "cinema."

--

This is fascinating.

I pretty much missed the YA boom (slightly too old, not paying attention, etc.), so I've mostly encountered YA through its worst evangelists of the Hunger Games knockoff era, and often a good bit after their favorite books were at their height.

As I've said before, this really strikes me as that pattern where something is big when you're at a formative age, and it becomes the Normal Default to you.

I'm sure some of it is refusal to engage with adult nuance, but I'll bet a lot of it is resistance to leaving the name of YA behind. People spent so much time defending this niche that they started believing their own rhetoric about it being the only place the good queer stuff was or the feminist stuff was or whatever. They identified really strongly as A YA Fan. It's hard to let that go.

And if you don't remember much about pre-YA boom publishing, the fact that all that YA-tastic Mercedes Lackey stuff was filed under fantasy, not YA is completely obscure. The places you find stuff you'd like that aren't called "YA" are not obvious. The fact that YA in its boom era form isn't universal and eternal is not obvious.

I think people are waiting for their Cool Era of their early 20s to return and for the things they think should always be in fashion to come back... Like everyone else aging ungracefully, they may be waiting a while.

Gotta say, every New Adult book I've been shown sounds like a hideously boring contemporary romance that would probably make a good coffee shop AU against a backdrop of a canon that's dark or magical but that isn't really pulling its weight even if you like contemporaries.