#after all that drama in 2020 they said let us clear things up

[hypbaest]

ok nevada?

[sophaeros]

julian casablancas for mojo magazine, november 2024 / issue 372 (x x)

Rock'n'roll Confidential: Julian Casablancas

The Strokes/Voidz mainman talks entitlement, respect and Arctic Monkeys

3AM (Pacific Coast Time) is an atypical hour to schedule an interview. But here's Julian Casablancas, zooming from Los Angeles, where the singer, for so long synonymous with the grit and glamour of New York City, has lived since 2020. He's a busy man: as well as fronting long-running garage rock classicists The Strokes - whose sixth album The New Abnormal won a Grammy in 2020 - he's found a refuge of sorts in his experimental, '80s synths-enabled group The Voidz, whose new LP Like All Before You is imminent. Talking to MOJO, Casablancas remains in shadow, his eyes occasionally reflecting dim light. "I can be a vampire," he promises. "You want a real rock star, bro? But I can be flexible and go into family mode too…"

What are you doing up at 3am, talking to MOJO? It's about the only time I have free. The rest of the time, it's videos and working with managers, going to concerts, social things… so l go all the way around, to crazy night hours.

The new album starts with Overture and ends with Walk Off - is there a concept lurking within? I guess a little. Maybe subconsciously. It hopefully hits if you have taken mushrooms. I had just watched Gone With The Wind, and they used to have overtures at the beginning of movies, and then we end the album with a synthesizer version. But it is not a rock opera story. If anything, the concept was going to be a one-word album title. At first, it was Zeal, then Perseverance.

How do you switch mindsets between Voidz and Strokes songwriting? Voidz songs are where my mind has been pushing me, and where I want to go, and where I am. But the ability or capability or muscle memory of writing Strokes-sequel stuff is just always going to be there. When those songs appear, it makes more sense to put them in each category, but it's not always that clear. But there's more 'no-limits' with The Voidz.

You recently said, "My current solution is to tour with The Strokes and then use the money to record with The Voidz." How did that happen? Years of drama and betrayals and horseshit (laughs). Honestly, l am cool with most of the dudes, and now we're more mature. It's not what I set out to do, but it's a fun, cool day job that I feel blessed to have. But let's just say I was only in a band called Zog, and whatever I worked on 10 years ago in Zog, I would not be interested in any more, I'm only interested in what I'm working on now. It's just the nature of music and creativity, you know?

What did you set out to do with The Strokes? I just wanted to challenge boundaries, and to have an ambitious collective of respectful teammates. Is that The Voidz? For me, yes.

The cliché about Strokes issues is that you were rich kids who weren't hungry enough. Any truth in that? Success affects people in different ways. I'd say there are some elements, probably from me as well, where you can be entitled… all kinds of bands have fallings outs and drama. It wasn't like, Oh, we don't need the money. I think it did take a lot of hunger to get there, but then after you've achieved something, when everyone is kissing each individual member's ass… OK, let's get back to work and do it again. It was like, Uh, no thanks. That's my assessment.

The Arctic Monkeys song Star Treatment starts out, "I just wanted to be one of The Strokes." What was your reaction? I thought, Be careful what you wish for. It was funny, and flattering. I have a lot of respect for Alex and those boys.

Tell us something you've never told an interviewer before. I've been trying to communicate with crows lately. I heard they have an intricate sonic language, but I haven't had any luck. It occurred to me that food would help, so I was trying to feed one M&M's earlier, but he wasn't having it. People can catch me making weird noises, trying to mimic the crow. I think the crows are more startled than the humans.

As told to Martin Aston

JULIAN, DOPE Five of Casablancas's crackers.

Brian Eno Burning Airlines Give You So Much More (ISLAND, 1974)

Benny Goodman Good-Bye (VICTOR, 1936)

Kate Bush Why Should I Love You? (EMI, 1993)

Max Richter Path 5 (Delta) (DEUTSCHE GRAMMOPHON, 2015)

BEAK> Secrets (INVADA, 2024)

[mariacallous]

Nikki Haley spent the dying days of her presidential campaign reminding anyone who’d listen that Donald Trump is unhinged and unfit. But when she ended her candidacy last week after Super Tuesday, she suggested it was possible Trump could still win her endorsement.

“It is now up to Donald Trump to earn the votes of those in our party and beyond it who did not support him,” she said. “And I hope he does that. At its best, politics is about bringing people into your cause, not turning them away. And our conservative cause badly needs more people. This is now his time for choosing.”

Of course, it’s impossible that Trump, who regularly called Haley “birdbrain,” will make anything resembling a positive moral choice. He does not build willing coalitions. He only attempts to dominate through violence and intimidation. We know this about him because our birth certificates are not dated “Yesterday.”

But if Haley is overly optimistic about Trump, perhaps it’s because she uncritically consumes mainstream media, which seemingly can’t help but default to covering Trump as if he’s a normal candidate — even after his attempted coup and multiple criminal indictments.

Yes, major news outlets, including the New York Times, are now more likely to acknowledge that Trump outright lies than simply makes “false” statements, but the press still resists definitively calling him out for the terrible and dangerous person he is. Because their baseline assumption is that Trump is erratic and malevolent, it’s not generally regarded as big news when Trump does awful things, such as mocking Biden’s speech impediment during a speech over the weekend. (Watch the footage below, though it should be mentioned that the NYT published an article noting that Trump mocked Biden’s stutter.)

Implicit in the media’s ongoing coverage of Trump is the idea that he might suddenly stop behaving like Donald Trump. Case in point was an absurd article Axios ran last week from national politics reporter Sophia Cai with the headline, “Top Trump advisers try to steer him off personal drama.” The top of the article is bad enough, as it presents Trump’s unhinged vendettas like a “Sex and the City” brunch scene, but the low point is Cai’s suggestion that Trump is “toning down” his rhetoric as he attempts to woo college-educated voters.

On what was once Twitter, the caption above Axios’s article read, “Looking to November, Trump tempers his claims about the 2020 election — a little.” (An earlier version of the tweet that didn’t hedge as much and was widely criticized was deleted — see it at top of the post.) Cai wrote, “In some recent speeches, Trump has used different terms in describing his typical complaint that the 2020 election he lost was ‘stolen’ — saying, ‘We were interrupted,’ or ‘something very bad happened.’”

These are obvious euphemisms for Trump’s ongoing election lies, but Cai’s assertion isn’t even true. He told supporters at a North Carolina rally just days before the Axios article that “what happened at that last election is a disgrace, and we’re not going to let it happen again. Did you ever notice they go after the people that want to find out where the cheating was — and, by the way, 82 percent of the country understands that it was a rigged election, OK? You can’t have a country with that.” (Surprise! Trump’s “82 percent” claim is a lie.)

In fact, the very day after Axios’s piece dropped, Trump went on Truth Social and proclaimed, “the Election was RIGGED.”

Trump’s remarks at a Rome, Georgia, rally on Saturday were just as disturbing. He insisted that he’d won Georgia in 2020 and that the election was “rigged.” Those same lies painted targets on the backs of Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, who won a defamation suit against Trump ally Rudy Giuliani. It’s clear that Trump won’t accept an election loss, and we can expect that he’ll incite more violence and harassment. It’s the height of irresponsibility for a major media outlet to suggest otherwise.

And it’s not just Axios. After Trump won the South Carolina Republican primary, NBC News ran an article headlined, “Fewer grievances, more policy: Trump aides and allies push for a post-South Carolina ‘pivot’.” If you’ve paid any attention to the words that come out of Trump’s mouth, you’d understand that Trump’s policy is personal grievance. He’s openly vowed to spend his second term persecuting his political enemies and anyone who dared tried to hold him accountable for his crimes.

[shywhispersunknown]

Alive

"By your spirit I will rise, from the ashes of defeat. The resurrected King is resurrecting me. In your name I come alive, to declare your victory. The resurrected King is resurrecting me."

Whenever I hear this song, I'm moved to tears. The above lyrics are so relevant to my present day life. As I reflect on the goodness of God and how he's brought me out of some tough situations, my heart aches as I flashback to my life before. 2016 to 2020 was probably some of my hardest years . Mentally I was on the brink of losing it and emotionally I was a complete wreck. My life had slowly morphed into a nightmare and nobody knew. On the surface I was thriving, my person and I had just bought a brand new home and life seemed good. But in reality, we had just had our 1st physical fight and I moved into our house alone. As I sat on my bedroom floor in disbelief ...I thought to myself, how did I get here? If I'm being honest, we should've never bought that house...let alone be together. We had a turbulent relationship, marred with cheating, arguments that never reached a resolution and a host of other harmful things. We were two wounded souls who should've let each other go a long time ago. But in all my girlie feels, I wanted the fantasy. I was willing to let the past be past, leaving all of our drama back at our old spot. But that didn't happen.

The night after we celebrated our closing, I was finishing up boxing our items when I knocked over a book. Inside that book were an assortment of special occasion cards over the years. His "girlfriend" was professing her love for him on these special days. She'd even written him a note, saying that hopefully he'd be able to resolve his issue,(that would be me) soon. She said she loved him and would be waiting. I was so jarred by this I was literally sick to my stomach. I knew about this woman. We'd fought about her before. She was a college friend he said, but refused to give me more than that. Id seen exchanges between the two that most would deem unforgivable...but something about reading those words, and seeing how we'd gotten this far with each other and she was still in the picture, crushed me. I could never fully share what was happening in my relationship, it was far too embarrassing. People would say, "hey! you got the house now, where's the ring? when are you guys making this official?" Id just smile and deflect to him. I was miserable. I knew this was a huge mistake. In my heart, I knew that there would never be a marriage, a family... hell, even real love. But deep down, I still wanted it. When we were peaceful, Id try to get to the bottom of why we couldn't just start over and move forward. I was often met with excuses, never a real resolution. Over time I morphed into someone I no longer recognized. I became jealous, insecure and a bonafide stalker. Id always thought of myself as strong, but that version of me was long gone. As time went on more soul crushing things were happening ..things that totally made me understand the women on Snapped. After another night of him allegedly working late...Id had enough. I knew where she lived, I even knew where she worked, I knew more about her than I should have. But anyway, I had just cased her entire block looking for his car. 1st lap...nothing.. 2nd lap...bingo! He must've just arrived, or perhaps he was already there and I didn't notice.. I sat in my car contemplating my next move. Do I ring the bell? Steal his car and park it a few blocks away? YUP! I had his spare key and made that an option if I found him there. Do I drive home get his clothes and throw them out front? I eventually did that...but that happens later on in this story...I wound up taking pictures of his car, sending it to the both of them, advising him not to come home. He threatened to call the cops on me if I refused to let him in, but he used his brain that night and didn't come. It was clear the woman was here to stay. A shell of myself, and literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown I finally told a friend what was happening. She recommended an amazing therapist who I believe was sent by God himself.

I went into my 1st session open ,honest and ready for whatever she thought would best help my situation. Dr Pyant was no joke! The truths she dropped on me I was not ready for. By our 3rd session she had already devised a plan of escape for me. "Escape!?" " Yes girl escape. I want you to close your eyes to what you think foreclosure is. You have no children with this man, there's is nothing holding you back. Stop paying that mortgage save your money and leave! God sees what's happening and he will take care of you." That was the advice. Leave. This situation was becoming more about me and less about us. I didn't wanna hear that though. I cant tell you what I was hoping for, but it wasn't that. I continued my sessions, him and I even managed to do one together. But nothing changed. He'd stop dealing with her for a few weeks. She'd cry leaving voicemail after voicemail, (yea, I had his passcode) and Id watch him mope around the house because it was obvious that's where he wanted to be. Dr Pyant was never pushy, but she wanted to make it crystal clear that reconciliation should not be an option. The things that I longed for, marriage, children etc...would never come from him. I knew she was right, but I was scared. Id lost so much of myself...my independence, my fight...I had no idea who I was anymore.

My final straw was when I caught him with her again. It was a year or so later and he had just had a surgery. Id taken off work to look after him...despite the challenges we faced, I still cared. He was healing fairly well and mentioned wanting to step out to get some air. I didn't think nothing of it because he had been stuck in the house for awhile. Now if you're smart, I think you know what I'm gonna say next. That's right, after a few hours had passed my antennas where up and I was on the move. As soon as I hit her block, I saw them. They were sitting in his car eating ice cream. Lovebirds. They saw me as well and were stunned. I drove home, put as much of his crap I could fit in my car, drove back to her house and dumped it everywhere. I didn't care. I was broken and that was it for me.

But God is amazing! He came and saved me right in the nick of time. Id started going back to church more consistently, it legit was all I had. I couldn't contain my sadness and I knew only the Lord could fix it. My beautiful sister in love and in Christ introduced me to her church where I met 3 amazing souls who were ministering me back to life. The Lord had revealed through them that it was time for me to leave. He promised to establish me and keep me, but the time was now. I took that word to heart. When Dr Pyant delivered that message to me, I struggled with it. I wasn't ready, nor did I think it was fair. Why did I have to uproot my life? Id suffered enough. But God was changing me, the sadness was lifting a bit and I wanted MY LIFE more than I wanted the idea of what I thought my life should be. I didn't care about how I looked to people anymore. Yes my life is a mess right now so what? For years I hid my reality because I didn't wanna hear the " I told you so's or you're stupid for staying...couldn't be me" The only thing that mattered was making it out alive. I eventually left and God did everything he promised. Although relieved, it was hard. Everyday was different. More lows than highs. But refinement, exposure , healing etc isn't meant to be pretty. But its definitely for the greater good.

[losterthanlost]

Some words...

Before the year 2023 comes to an end, I just like to write everything that's going on my mind right now, with all honesty. Right now, at this moment I am sitting at my desk. I haven't finished a single homework nor started to study any subject. I did manage to finish 15 episodes of The Red Sleeve. But I am not going to talk about that now.

While eating breakfast, it came to my mind that, maybe, the reason I can no longer write a resolution list for the new year like I did back in 2020 or something, is because I feel like I'm at the end already. I feel like I've already realized all that I need to realize as a human. I don't say this arrogantly. I have no pride in my heart as I say this. I do feel stuck though. I used to tell myself, as a remedy for when I slack, that I have not met the roof of my potential yet. However, lately, I feel like I reached it already and I just overestimated myself for thinking it would be higher than this. Maybe this is the reason that I can no longer adapt to the current demands of my life. I can no longer keep up with the demands of college education.

I have another thought about this, too. While completing the data I needed for one of our lab reports, I suddenly realized that I am a perfectionist. The bad kind of perfectionist who never once achieved perfection. Our instructor only asked us to complete the data. It doesn't even have to be very accurate. I just have to understand the process of the activity and the significance of it in our field. That's all I need to do to finish it.

As of writing, I have not finished the report yet. All that is left for me to do is read the instructions again and note down in detail what I have to do with the data. The problem with this is that I do try to read it then I stop and think about the drama I'm watching then go watch it again. Then after watching, I talk about it in my Twitter account and then go through under the hashtags the thoughts of other people who watched the same episode. Then it's either I feel sleepy already or guilty, and I finally decide it's enough. But if the posts under the hashtags are too intriguing, it would be enough to convince me to play the next episode. Today, I just finished episode 15. I want to finish the last two episodes on New Year's Day. Or until I've done all my pending requirements. I should do that. I will feel empty again if I finish the episode before the semester ends. I will have nothing to look forward to anymore.

Right now, I'll be honest. I think, if my life ends now, it's okay. Another day alive means another day to eat, drink, use electricity, use water, take up space, breathe in oxygen, and breathe out carbon dioxide. Another day alive means more things consumed. It seems clear to me now that I have no scholarship anymore. All I have to do is submit my letter of appeal and then they will reply with a message that I am no longer a scholar. I have no choice but to ask my parents for money whenever I need anything. Imagine how embarrassing that is for my age. In situations like this, people will say I should just get a job. I can't do that. I can if I don't care about my studies. I'm still struggling with a slump that's been going on since 2019. I still haven't cured this. Although my feelings and views in life have improved since then, my skills only got worse.

Like I said earlier, I am struggling to write anything. Writing, especially in English, is a crucial skill in my life. Without it, I might not be able to reach graduation. However, seeing that I already wrote this much in full English, saying I don't know how to write anymore feels ironic. Maybe this entry is proof that I still can write. Maybe the problem really lies with my feelings and expectations of myself. [...]

While washing the dishes and listening to AI narration of everything I had written before this current paragraph, I thought about letting go of high school. As in, everything connected to my high school. I honestly have no desire to stay around them anymore. I would rather them forget about me so that if ever we meet again, they'll know me as whoever I am at that moment and will not associate me with who I was in the past. I am a different person now. Now, I treat my friends better, treat myself better, communicate my thoughts and feelings better, clean stuff better, socialize better -- really just know better.

However, I am also now the opposite of stellar. I can't survive simple quizzes without studying anymore. I am now at the same level as my average classmates in elementary. I don't say this to mean I look down on them. I don't. I really don't. But I think it added pressure on me to maintain my place. So now I want to get rid of this thinking. Thinking of levels; that there is a thing called levels. I am a different person now. I will have to start building myself with who and what I am right now, and no longer about who and what I am in the past.

[turquoissesimmer]

It’s been a while

Let me tell y’all were I’ve been. Not that y’all care but let me tell y’all anyway. I hope y’all like a good storytime…

So I stopped playing choices bcus I kept falling asleep while reading those century long ass chapters. I just wanted to be able to sit down with a nice snack on a Friday night so I could really just read in peace & quiet. But I’m chaotic & unorganised so bcus of that I always have to catch up on schoolwork that I didn’t finish throughout the week, so after finishing my 2hr nightly routine I just fall right asleep.

Oh yeah I forgot, I went back to school in Sep. 2020 so I could no longer keep up with all of my hobbies, so obviously Choices & it’s drama ended up at the bottom of the list. Maybe that was a good thing bcus after the 2021/2 that I’ve had I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I got myself involved in drama on top of the mess I’ve been going through.

So as it turns out…I’m actually not asexual/aroace….I was just traumatised😅. Nothing weird happened to me it’s just that I was a very scared & insecure child. Later on the development that I should’ve gone trough in my teens was stolen from me bcus I got bullied & maybe even discriminated (?) at the school I attended. Bcus of this I sort of developed this “I don’t care” mindset. Not even to defend myself, I literally didn’t care about any of the people who did this to me. In my eyes they were just miserable and had to blame somebody to make themselves feel better. It took me a while to realise that, just bcus I didn’t see it as bullying, that did not mean that I wasn’t getting bullied….bcus I was. And it affected me more than I was personally aware of.

This and the fact that, like I said I was a scared & insecure child, made it so that basically everything that involved deep feelings, some that I had never experienced myself, caused me to get resentful & disgusted. It’s not fun when you’re a kid, saying you’ll never kiss somebody & all your older cousins, aunts, uncles & even your mom come at you with “that’ll change when you get older” talk. And you just keep trying to make it clear to them that you’re not comfortable with these types of jokes but they just don’t listen bcus they don’t realise it’s not a joke to you.

So anyway what happened was, this guy from my class started talking to me. Our conversations were online bcus of COVID. Last school year he switched majors so we were no longer in the same classes so I met him in person twice & very briefly, which made it hard for me to figure him out. Now idk what happened I still don’t know how to explain but I caught feelings🤡. We were always just joking around & he used to send me flirty messages & stuff but I was aware that it was just jokes so it didn’t do nothing for me. I see people for who they really are, not for who they want ppl to think they are. Even trough text, I consider it one of my many talents. So I guess I caught feelings for this guy bcus I really saw HIM yk…?

It got to a point were I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I told him. Hoping he’d either bite or reject me. I was leaning more towards reject so I could leave these feelings behind and go about my life. But instead he did the worst thing someone’s ever done to me.

He told me he had those same feelings. Then over the course of a month (this was March/April 2022, we stopped talking in May/June). He continued to send mixed signals which really confused me & caused me to stress tf out. We’d been talking for nearly a year when I got these feelings & bcus of the fact that I never been trough something like this I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was crushing on this pile of 💩 like a 15y/o to put things into perspective.

I also have a bad habit of overthinking & over - analyzing things that don’t add up. So if I wasn’t in my head about my feelings, I was thinking about the things he told me or what his day was like or whatever. Now do y’all know what happens when you think about someone TOO much?

YOUR ENERGIES GET TWISTED. Me being the sensitive girl I am, can literally feel what someone next to me is feeling. It helps me behave accordingly, I don’t even do it on purpose. Basically, bcus of the fact that I was in this guys energy field & he was in mine….I fell into his depression….sort of.

I just woke up one day feeling like absolute shit. It’s a good thing I’m on top of my feelings and I knew that if I gave in to what I was feeling I’d get a depression fr. So I woke up & did what I had to do everyday no matter how hard it was. My mom noticed I wasn’t doing so great so I told her everything. With her help & the help of her friend I got out of it, sending that shit straight back to him. After that (it’s now late April/May 2022), I got the answers I was looking for which made a lot of shit that happened make sense…

This 🤡 was still in a relationship with the baby mama he said he broke up with. Now if that wasn’t enough the 2 of them were living together. So this piece of 💩 was basically only talking to me bcus my clean energy attracted his miserable ass. He had to feel better about himself so used me, the girl full of life & ambitions ( that I’ll actually be able to achieve bcus I’m not a broke 22 y/o with a kid, student debt, living independently & who’s not in a miserable relationship that’s holding me back in life ).

They say you attract the energy you give out, but don’t get it twisted. Bcus when you’re doing good in life, you know the 😈 comes lurking & you gotta be on edge, careful not to let him in.

After finding out about this I confronted him & he didn’t even bother to apologise. Instead he blocked me….on instagram. But I still had his number so I texted him & he was acting real fucking bold so I made sure to block him first this time. So yeah I blocked his number & all of his other SM accounts….just to unblock them and send him back to that hellhole he came from bcus I don’t even want to hold on to him trough a blocked contacts list. The whole situation was just so traumatising and disrespectful to all parties involved. Like bruh…she gave birth to your daughter & you’re out here embarrassing that girl lying about her existence? Nah that’s just…I can’t-

So these past 2 years have put me trough a lot. I basically found myself back again. Turns out I’ve always been perfect so I’m currently back to the sensitive 6y/o girl with the rose colored glasses, positive energy & the rich fantasy I used to be. Just with a little bit more spice to it. I liked her better than that girl I created to protect me from drama as a 13y/o anyway. I’m glowing up, happier then I’ve been in years & finally exploring my feelings & trying new things instead of only allowing myself to experience these things trough a screen. So I guess this whole situation definitely had it’s reasons. I needed that reality check so yeah…

I’m thinking about making my comeback, but I switched to an iPhone last month. So we’ll see if I can find a good mod for this app bcus Lord knows I’m not playing this game without any diamonds. It takes out all the fun, I’ll pass.

Now if you kept reading this far, I hope you enjoyed my story. I had to take out a lot of the details but you can ask me about things if you want. I just wanted to share my story so yeah uhmm…bye

[whatagirlwants]

olivia apparently has a song coming out about an “ill advised one night stand with an ex”. She has had a couple bfs since 2020 but I still wonder if it’s about josh. I feel like that might tie into joshs ep from October and Sabrina’s lyrics in lonesome and opposite.

(disclaimer i didnt mean to write this much l)

lets be honest… olivia would never go back to joshua 😭 i need yall to be serious…

Lonesome isn’t about joshua going back to Olivia. Lonesome is like Sabrina’s way of reflecting on Joshua leaving her. there were many layers to it but here she’s second guessing if he loved her.. because the 2nd DL came out and the way people responded to it.. affected their relationship cause he brokeup with her.. hence “is it kind of strange how it all changed when i wasn’t the one they wanted you to love”

Sabrina feels like she was just an opportunity for him. i mean lets be serious she was the only one with a real successful career when joshua came into her life. at that time hsmtmts just put out s1 and the only thing o & j did was write instagram unoriginals. Sabrina was an opportunity in so many ways i mean she even wrote for his EP, she was almost a feature (but they brokeup snd scrapped it). She feels used.

it all circles back to him breaking up with her after DL, “why were u somewhere else when you were next to me” that maybe he never loved her at all.

Opposite i cant speak on it lyrically cause idk if its about him (i dont think its about Dylan O’brien either ive seen those rumors). but about your question.. Joshua didnt end up with Olivia or a look alike unless she knows something we dont about who’s he been with after “Face like that other girl you’re inlove with”

Joshua’s EP in October:

would you love me now: people only think its about Olivia cause he sings “passing Pasadena, do you still live in LA?” (apparently olivia lived there) but if you think about it he’s passing Pasadena to LA.. where Sabrina used to live, she moved to NYC after their breakup. also first lines of the song he sings something about a letter he never sent.. “emails i can’t send”

(disclaimer: i feel like we need to be-careful with lyrics cuz i feel like sometime maybe its not all accurate or songwriters think of multiple situations)

She said he said she said: so its clean she (olivia) he (joshua) she (sabrina) is clearly about that drama and one of the girls was talking shit (again could be all fabricated for this “cool” story he’s telling) but he does sings “highschool never ends” which makes me think of Olivia, and another line “did you tell them everything” which reminds me of his song Secret which is obviously about Olivia.

i’m sorry: he’s apologizing to his ex. i think sabrina releasing “things i wish you said” makes it clear this is about her. Sabrina’s song is all in her ex’s perspective of things she wishes he said. theres a part where she says “sorry that i pulled the its not you its me someday ill make sure you get a apology” in ‘Im Sorry’ joshua is APOLOGIZING to his ex saying “it was me it wasn’t you its cliche but its true”. also the lines alone where he sings “ever since that day the things i didnt say they haunt me” and she writes a song of things she wishes he said.

Different idk cause its not accurate to their timeline cuz of “2 years not being friends” but the rest like “my biggest regret is walking away” ties to im sorry and his other songs where he says he regrets leaving. TBH he could be just writing what he wants to happen cause didnt rekindle whatever she had with him. so this is why i say sometimes it isnt lyrically accurate and who knows maybe its about olivia but i think its weird after the EP crisis secret set me free he’d suddenly say she’s his biggest regret and he wishes he didnt walk away. and even after he released that what makes u think olivia would ever want to rekindle with him😭

[carnationcreation]

Can you do Luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is Alex sister and is in the band who’s been in love with Luke all this time but he never noticed her. And ever since they met Julie she has seen them together has gotten jealous.So she hatches up one finally plan to make him jealous to get him to see her . And Luke realized he had been in love with her and confess to her . Sorry if it’s too much this is my first time asking for a request 🥺

TITLE: Unrequited (Luke Patterson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Requested: Yes!

Prompt/summary:  Reader does one final attempt at getting Luke to notice her.

Word Count: 1,615

Authors note: appear I just write a lot of angst. Again Where’s my Love by SYML is the vibe lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day we woke up on the floor of the garage in the year 2020 was the worst day of my life.

Or that’s what I decided at least.

Apparently we had spent the past 25 years in a dark room, with Alex crying for most of that time. The girl who found us, Julie, quickly became our only tie to the real world. We could only be seen playing if she was playing with us. We soon found out that we had unfinished business that we needed to attend to before we could properly cross over to the other side. We figured it was simple. Play the Orpheum and we were done. But getting to the Orpheum was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

Slowly we had started to build up a following on a thing called ‘YouTube’ where people share videos, I never thought such a wide library of videos could exist for free every single day. Practices became a daily thing, though I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

I really shouldn’t be jealous. Luke has chemistry with everyone he sings with. Alex would kill me if he found out that after all these years I was still crushing on his best friend. I couldn’t help the feeling in my throat when I saw Julie and Luke singing together though... the feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was being sucked out of me while I tried to keep the feeling of anger from bubbling over.

Why can’t he look at me like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never meant to get him jealous, because I always thought making crushes jealous was unhealthy and only ever worked in the movies. But as soon as I started only talking with Reggie and Alex at practice Luke started to notice how I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him like I used to.

As time went on I started only singing with Reggie on stage for the harmonies. Every time I would look over afterwards I would see Luke staring at me with an almost blank expression.

The next few days were miserable for me.

My only desire then was to go up to him and tell him why I had been avoiding him. That I had seen every glance, smirk, smile, and laugh he and Julie had shared and say it was breaking my heart in two. I just had to watch in silence. The fear of causing drama within the band had taken precedent over my unrequited love. 

I never meant for it to be taken this far. After Caleb branded us I truly began to wonder if my place in the band really meant anything to anyone. My feelings poured out over a page as I explained everything to them in a letter. A stupid letter that I didn’t know if I actually was going to deliver or not. 

My worst fears soon became a reality after I saw their interaction outside of Luke’s house on his birthday.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I slipped the letter into his songwriting notebook and poofed out of the garage. I knew they would find it. I knew my brother would know the first place to look for me, so I avoided it.

I stood in the alleyway behind the Orpheum, tears falling down my face as I held onto my brother’s sweatshirt he had given me a few days prior. Hopefully I could still keep it.

“Are you ready?”

I turned around and saw Caleb standing in all his elaborate glory, “I guess so.”

He smirked, “Why so hesitant little dove?”

“Um,” I mumbled, a shiver went down my spine at his awkward nickname, “I’m just going to miss them.”

“Miss them? You’re going to miss them? Oh (Y/n), they haven’t even noticed you were gone. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. Breathing became hard as I realized I had been sitting here for hours, and no one came yet.

“Poor (Y/n), in love with a boy who doesn’t even notice her. A brother who was rejected by even his parents, and a best friend who doesn’t even notice her feelings. You can leave all that behind, just shake my hand.”

I stood there, debating on if I really wanted to give it all up. Did I really get a choice in this? I slowly lifted my hand, still hesitating.

“(Y/n), look around. They haven’t even come for you yet, and I’m sure that rat Willie already told them what you were doing. They just don’t care-”

“That’s not true!”

I turned around and saw my band running towards me.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to him? He’s manipulating you,” Alex said.

Tears fell down my face as Caleb grabbed my shoulder, “You’re too late. (Y/n) just look at them. They didn’t even notice as you drifted further and further away.”

My eyes flickered up, Luke locked eyes with me. Tears were forming in his eyes, “(Y/n) please don’t do this.”

I looked back down at the ground.

Julie spoke up, “(Y/n), you really don’t realize how much you contribute to this band. We all care about you so much.”

“I doubt she wants to hear from you,” Caleb scoffed, “Seeing as you stole the one thing she most wanted away.”

The boys looked at each other confused but the look on Julie’s face told me that she knew exactly what Caleb meant.

“(Y/n) I promise you, Luke and I are just best friends. I’m so sorry you felt like you weren’t important to us anymore,” Julie said.

Luke looked up at me but I tried not to meet his gaze.

“(Y/n),” Alex said, “You’re my sister. I can’t lose you too. Please.”

Tears ran freely down my face as I pulled myself away from Caleb. Luke ran forward and caught me as I began to fall.

Caleb let out a frustrated yell and disappeared. I didn’t even bother to look up as I sobbed into my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered to me. Alex pulled everyone into a group hug.

“Guys I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Reggie said.

I brought my hands down to wrap around Luke’s shoulders, “I just didn’t feel good enough. I wanted to know if you guys really cared. I’m so sorry I should have said something.”

“We’re just happy we got here in time,” Alex said, he ran a hand through my hair, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

My tears came to a slow stop, and eventually we began to walk home.

“Guys, I’m taking (Y/n) somewhere. We’ll catch up.”

The guys waved as Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me in a different direction. It soon became clear where he was taking me. 

“Do you remember this place?” he asked.

“Barely,” I said. I looked around the park I had always gone to, it had changed so much since 1995, “They tore the gazebo down.”

He looked over to where the rickety white structure used to be, a bathroom area was there now.

“I remember, you used to always go there after there was a fight at your house.”

I nodded, “Quiet, secluded, free to go to. Can’t tell you how many songs I wrote here.”

He pulled me over to sit on the benches near the playground. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said. 

I looked up at the clouds, trying to get the answer straight in my head, “I just… I had seen how you looked at her. I wanted you to look at me like that. Once I started to pull away, no one seemed to notice. Caleb offered me his help, he said I’d be famous…”

“What made you hesitate?”

“I realized… I didn’t want a million admirerors, I just wanted one. Nothing could compare to that.”

I jumped as he reached over to grab my hand, bringing it over to sit in his lap as he covered it in both of his, “I want to be that person.”

“You always were.”

He smiled. He brought my hand up and placed a kiss gently on my knuckles. In a quick moment of bravery I leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a real kiss. The boy I thought I had lost was kissing me. The kiss I had always dreamed of but thought I could never have. 

We both pulled away breathing heavily. I looked up and giggled at his swollen lips and tousled hair knowing I probably looked the same. 

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say this. I love you (Y/n). I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I loved you after we died, and I loved you every moment till now. I guess the only reason why I didn’t do anything is I was so scared of you not liking me back, or how your brother would react.”

I sighed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“He told me while we were looking for you I should’ve asked you out weeks ago. He knows,” He laughed.

The sun had started to set, the light illuminated him making him look ethereal. I pulled him into another quick kiss, “I wish I had done this sooner.”

“What? The kiss or trying to sell your soul to a dead magician?”

I laughed, “Either.”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, “Don’t do the second one again anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx  @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse  @igotabadfeelingabouteverything @larrystylinson-sus @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @peachyxdream @catieiscute2001 @julieandthephantomsblogduh @fangirling-allday @ashleyleblancx @alltimekp @wcnderwoo @unipanda1006 @disgustedchild @aberette13 @dpaccione @whyworry27 @number-0-iz @musicconversedance @owlgirl1209 @angelxfics @hamdehlesmis @solophantomsmultis @marinettepotterandplagg @idkanymoremansstuff @carleywhittaker @spooky-season-bitch @sunsetcurve-h @peresphoncs @lolychu  @joshy-obx @mochamiilk @starenemy @caitsymichelle13 @kiss-themoongoodbye @noncannonships @cherrybombboom @etherealexsistence @itskindyl @heidimortensen123 @starkeysgirl @nicolewithasoul @chenellearose @voguesir 

[billiejeanenthusiast]

Boobiegate masterpost

We know what they did this summer - and oh boy, was a it a wild summer that - unfortunately for us - stretched into autumn and beyond any reason.

I will first go over everything as it happened and then - because when you look back at everything you realise some timelines overlap - I’ll try to clarify some stuff and put it into perspective.

NOTE: I’m writing the dates from a GMT time zone point of view (aka. UK time)

So let’s start from the beginning. 

Briana breaks up with Brody Jenner after dating him for some random attention seeking period. (June-September roughly)

Here’s an article talking about that irrelevant relationship. https://www.yourtango.com/2020334835/who-brody-jenner-girlfriend-briana-jungwirth-louis-tomlinson-baby-mama Now let’s fast forward a bit to September. 

September 23rd

So on September 23rd we’re flooded with articles about Brody and Bri breaking up and Bri getting back together with her “on-again off-again (boy)friend Nick” and the biggest surprise “BRI IS ENGAGED”

So the story is: 

Bri ended her relationship with Brody because “they were moving too fast” and he had “already met Freddie” 

She then gets back together with her on-again, off-again bf Nick Gordon 

She, her family, and Nick go on a “whirlwind” trip to Las Vegas (MIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC) 

Bri and Nick get engaged during those Covid inviting few days in Vegas (September 21st- September 23rd) 

Articles drop about how they’re engaged and she’s broken up with Brody (Sept 23rd) 

Bri, family and Nick all share a huge amount of Vegas pictures of them in love, Bri’s ring, Bri and Nick being a couple (pictures obviously taken before Vegas to hopefully make someone believe that this in no way is a whirlwind engagement after just knowing each other a few weeks. Did they convince anyone? Well if you are convinced - I’m worried for you) 

Here’s the tmz article:https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/23/brody-jenner-split-briana-jungwirth-engaged/ Here’s some pics of them we were all subjected to while they were in Vegas. And Nick’s new public profile when it just got made. Was he trying to start an influencer career and say goodbye to being a firefighter? Was he trying to get a night job taking off that all firefighter gear for money? Magic mike was a big movie after all….Who knows.

September 28th

At first the engagement pictures on Nick’s IG were just him and Briana and he used the #/shesaidyes. After a few days and probably after they realised it would be a smart move to acknowledge her kid she claims to have too (👀) he deleted those and on September 28th posted new pictures with a new caption and new # of course. This time “theysaidyes”.

The pictures are below.

But, moving on.

As soon as the engagement news drops, we have Nick - our “good-guy firefighter” making a new and public IG account, flooding it with pictures where he professes his love for Bri and soaking up the d-list association fame.

So in the coming weeks we get a lot of Nick, Bri and their families on IG. They post a lot about being constantly together.

What was the most interesting they really pushed the “dad” image on Nick. He was constantly posting about Freddie and even in Bs or Tammi’s stories he was always seen interacting with F the most.

Then after it seemed like the new fiancees had settle into their soon-to-be married life and everything seemed rosy for them - we get hit with the whammy BOOBIEGATE.

Because hell hath no fury like a sugar daddy scorned.

October 15th

On the 15th of October celebtm a gossip site, posts the next picture and caption on IG:

Basically, they’re saying a guy - his name unknown yet - contacted them to tell them how Briana scammed him out of money she borrowed to get a boob job. Specifically 5k USD. He claims he filed the case in court and it’s dated January.

They ask if anyone else has similar receipts or anything about her and that they’re investigating and will be writing a story. And the comments have a lot to say about Bri.

October 19th

4 days later on October 19th celebtm posts another IG update about how they have the court filing and how their article is in progress.

October 21st

2 days after the last IG post celebtm finally posts their article - on the 21st of October

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-briana-jungwirth-sued-over-boob-job/

(It’s on the web still - if it ever gets deleted let me know I have screen recordings of it)

The article is accompanied by this (below) IG post:

Also on this day we get Briana and Nick deactivating their IG profiles. Nick still kept his personal private IG and the only person who stayed public is Tammi.

October 22nd

A day after the article dropped there’s another IG post with the following picture and caption. Apparently, Sugar Daddy shared his receipts - specifically AmEx - with celebtm.

October 26th

On October 26th celebtm posts the second part of the article. It’s messier, with a more confusing timeline than the first, but tries to “spill” more details on Sugar Daddies relationship with Briana and her life in general.

Also by now we know his name - Michael Strauss. An investor in Warwick club in LA.

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-baby-mama-briana-jungwirth-double-life/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

October 27th

Then a day later we get another IG post - no new article - just more excerpts from what the Sugar Daddy told celebtm.

Then it’s quiet for a few days and when you think this can’t get even more trashy - low and behold the circus that is called October 29th.

October 29th

So after a few days of silence celebtm strikes again, but this time they bring in TV’s most loved judge - Judge Judy. Apparently the TV show was willing to take this litigation and air it as an episode.

As always, they post an IG post and a caption, and the article mentioned in the IG caption below is basically an article written for clicks about Louis and Harry because they saw the larrie part of the fandom was getting them clicks. I’ll leave the link to the article here for documentation purposes, but honestly there’s nothing in there worth giving them clicks for. Not a thing. The title of the article is “A Complete Guide to 1D Members Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles’ Rumoured Relationship”

Article: https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-harry-styles-relationship/

November 6th

We see the sudden return from social media exile of Bri to IG. She’s back - with a post and the description ironically saying “I’m back”. I refuse to post it because does anyone really want to look at her face-tuned selfies? 

November 9th

Then after weeks of radio silence, the return of Bri to IG, we get what is apparently the - very underwhelming - like Bri’s boobs to Sugar Daddy who never got to see them - conclusion to this Sugar Daddy drama. This following article which is basically a letter from Michael to Briana telling her how he’s giving up on the lawsuit, taking this as a life lesson and how he hopes no one else falls for her scams. Article below:

https://celebmagazine.com/michael-straus-briana-jungwirth-open-letter-to-one-direction-louis-tomlinson-alleged-baby-mama/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

And of course - the article is accompanied by an IG post by celebtm.

So, here we currently are. After watching that circus show no one wanted not paid for (well except the Sugar Daddy, and he didn’t even get to see the thing he paid for - so sad.) we’re in November and the Jungwirths and company are back to their carefree posting on IG. 

Current status:

The lawsuit seems to have been dropped. 

Everything seems to be in process of being swept under the rug.

Nick - the loving fiancee - is back to IG too. All of his happy, loving pictures with Bri still up (some deleted) - so we must assume their love survived Boobiegate.

As for overlapping timelines:

The timelines overlap mostly during the months March-October with it being said Bri dated Brody, but was also taking money from Boobie Daddy who was helping her during the pandemic, and was later also apparently starting a serious relationship with Nick.

What actually went on - I don’t know. And I’m honestly not interested to find out. This is being mentioned just so anyone coming across this post knows that yes - you didn’t read it wrong - the timelines do overlap with different people saying different things and Bri being tied to all three men at those times without any real clear timeline for the relationships.

So far this is all there is to this mess. If there’s more - I’ll do a part two or addition.

I’d like to end this with saying - these masterposts are 95% just me making them for myself because I forget stuff, and so much goes on in the fandom that if I want to keep up with it all, I need a nice timeline for things. I’m posting this for anyone wanting to make sense of this circus too or just to put it into a timeline. I did fact check all the dates, posts, IG pics, links and so on - but mistakes can happen - if there is one feel free to let me know.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Best Christmas Present [Sirius Black x Reader] - Heloise’s Christmas Calendar - Requested

December 18 - Best Christmas Present [Sirius Black x Reader]

Title: Best Christmas Present Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader   Word count: 3.1k   Published: 18 December, 2020   Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore   Notes: This is part of Heloise’s Christmas Calendar.   Summary: Sirius goes back to you after he has escaped Azkaban. But when he finds you with a son, he wants nothing but to escape the heartbreak, not even listening to your explanation.  Request: [x] - Anonymous

“When you have time could you please do a Sirius X Reader, where he meets his Girlfriend again.Obviously He is afraid that she might have a new man in her Life,...At one day she arrives at Grimmauldplace with her son (Looks Like her) and Sirius Heart Breaks into pieces, while she has to explain that it is his son. #drama :)”

Heloise’s Christmas Calendar Masterlist

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

You were running up and down in the kitchen, from the stove to the fridge, from the cupboards to the table. You were preparing the dinner for Christmas Eve, a chaotic tension running through you as you tried to keep yourself organised. As Albert Einstein, a muggle scientist said in a book you’ve read; “Order is for idiots, genius can handle chaos”. You prided yourself in always getting things done, even in the midst of all the unfortunate events that could possibly occur.

Your mince pies were all done, still cooling down on the top of the counter with your Yorkshire puddings chilling beside them. Mulled wine brewed on one side of the stove, whilst the turkey slowly cooked in the oven. You chopped up your ingredients for the perfect roast potatoes and placed them in the oven, right above the turkey.

You always preferred cooking the old-fashioned, muggle way, no magical touch until the washing up. But at times, you found it calming and tossed your wand aside, thinking your day through whilst doing the dishes.

Christmas music blasted from the background, an old muggle radio playing the most popular Christmas songs. Traditional English Christmas dinner was cooking in the kitchen, traditional Christmas songs playing in your living room, traditional Christmas stocking hanging above the fireplace, traditional Christmas tree standing in the corner of the room decorated in red, gold and green.

You loved Christmas and since you haven’t been alone for a long time, it was always a special day for you to celebrate it to the best of your abilities, mixing old traditions with new traditions, muggle word with wizarding world.

You heard the knocker on your door, making you frown as you looked up at the giant antique clock above the entrance of the kitchen. You still had about two hours before the order members were supposed to arrive. The turkey and the potato were still in the oven, your mulled wine only halfway finished sitting on the stove.

You walked across the hall, peaking into the living room with a small smile on your face as you headed to the black, wooden entrance door of your flat. You looked through the peephole, but there was noone outside. You opened the door reluctantly, hand on your wand, tucked inside your back pocket as you peaked out of the tiny gap between the door and its frame.

Your eyes widened in surprise as you recognised the man in front of you. His hair grew longer, his face got skinnier, his body exposed under the white button up shirt, covered in tattoos you have not seen before. You loudly gasped at the sight of the man as you opened the door wider in your shocked state.

“Hey-” he greeted you with a shy smile, one that you were not used to from the proudest, most confident man you have ever met. But that was 13 years ago, before his incarceration in Azkaban.

“Sirius.” You breathed, your lips and tongue unable to cooperate with the hundreds of questions swirling around in your confused mind.

You were both standing in the door awkwardly, none of you saying a word. You couldn’t make a coherent sentence and Sirius didn’t dare to interrupt you from processing the situation.

You felt your heartbeat in your throat, your palms sweating as you held onto the doorknob. You watched the man you once loved more than your own life, standing right in front of you and now you didn’t know what to say, what to do, you didn’t even know where to put your hands in your shocked state.

You knew he escaped Azkaban, it wasn’t a secret. You knew he was in hiding, Remus told you what happened in Hogwarts, but he never came looking for you and you thought you would never see him again. Noone knew where he was, only that he left Europe.

Thinking he forgot about you was easier than to face him and getting rejected after waiting for him for so long. So you stayed still. Deep down you wished your thoughts were simply a game your mind was playing against you, but now that he stood in front of you, you didn’t even dare to breathe, afraid of scaring the man away.

“I’m sorry, come in.” The words rolled off your tongue without your knowledge, your head was in a different space. Sirius smiled lightly as he stepped inside and waited for you to walk him wherever you could talk. You headed towards the kitchen, offering him a chair as you walked to the stove and stirred your mulled wine absentmindedly. “I knew you escaped, but you never showed.” You blurted it out as the spoon fell out of your hand, onto the stove. You didn’t care about the cutlery, you turned around, your gaze firmly fixed on his grey eyes, ones that you always found to be his unique trait.

“I wanted to, but-“ he cut himself off, trying to search for the right words. Both of you were afraid of saying something wrong, dancing on the edge of every word that left your lips.

“You were scared.” He nodded as you finished his sentence.

“I was scared that you had- someone else in your life. That- maybe you didn’t-“ his words didn’t seem to come easy and if anyone, you understood the best. You were struggling with what to say and even how to say it.

“-love you anymore?” You finished his sentence once again, making him smile lightly.

“Yes.” He breathed in a silent whisper, his words inaudible, but you could read the word of his lips.

“Mom.” A young teenage boy ran out of the living room with an envelope in his hands, a carbon copy of you. Same hair colour, same facial structure, even to the last little mole, he was a boyish version of you. “We got a letter from Uncle Remus.” He shouted as he ran up to you, his hand holding the envelope up, reaching towards you.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the boy, before your gaze wandered to the man seated across the table. A shaky breath left your lungs as you took the envelope from the boy and engulfed him in a hug, hinting a small kiss on the top of his head. “Mom!” He whined, trying to get out of your hold, making you chuckle. You let go of him as he turned around, his gaze meeting with Sirius’.

The man looked shocked beyond belief, his lips widely parted, his eyes dilated, his hands grabbing the side of the table, making his fingers paler by the second. He scoffed as his eyes grew even wider and stood up from the table ready to leave.

“James, can you please go to the living room?” You asked your son, although reluctantly but he headed to the other room.

“You named him James?” Sirius turned back with a dumbfounded expression.

“Yes, of course.” You replied with a deep frown, clear confusion sitting across your face. “Sirius, please sit back and let’s talk.”

“What else do you want to talk about?” He shook his head as he headed towards the door, his back hunched, his jaw clenched. “I never understood why Remus kept nagging me to see you. I knew it was a bad idea and I was right all along. I shouldn’t have listened to him, I shouldn’t have come here.” He stated weakly, his voice breaking.

“Sirius can you just stop for a second and listen to me?” You asked as he reached for the doorknob, but you took your wand out and as soon as he opened the door, you closed it right back. “I promise you, if you don’t like what you hear, I will let you go, and we will never ever search for you.” You replied as the tears started rushing down your reddened cheeks. “But let me tell you what’s going on before you come to any wrong conclusions.” You choked as you tried to keep your sobs down, before the only person you have ever loved disappeared from your life once again.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked weakly, pulling on the doorknob, but it didn’t budge. “I couldn’t possibly ask you to wait for 13 years and even if I can’t show it at the moment, I am happy for you for moving on, for finding someone you love, for building a family, but please let me out.” He was pleading for you to let him go, but you didn’t give in.

“Sirius, can you please look at me?” You asked the man who stood with his back to you, his hands painfully holding the doorknob in his grasp. A deep, loud sigh left his lungs as he turned around, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes glistening of the unshed tears. You took a couple of steps forward to get closer to him but kept a safe distance in case he was ready to leave by the end of what you were about to reveal. “I haven’t had anyone since you.” You confessed, as you watched the man frown in confusion, before his eyes grew wide in surprise.

“What? But your son-“ he began, but his words stuck in him, his mouth agape.

“He is 12 years old.” You nodded in confirmation.

“He is my-“ Sirius started once again, but he was incapable of finishing a coherent sentence, his heart beating at a dangerous speed, his head a mess of confused thoughts.

“Yes, he is yours.” You nodded robotically, trying to refrain yourself from showing anymore emotions. You wanted to jump into his neck and kiss him, you wanted to bring out your son to introduce them to each other, but deep down you were terrified he would reject both his son and you.

You never talked about family back then and whilst you loved each other passionately, warmly, sweetly, you never knew how he would react if you announced that you were expecting his baby.

“I wanted to tell you, before all those horrible events happened, but I kept pushing it further and further, afraid of losing you, scared that you wouldn’t want the baby. By the time I felt ready to speak to you, everything came down crumbling and we lost Lily and James, whilst you were sent to Azkaban and Remus was struggling to even make enough money to live. It was- a terrible time.” You exhaled as you looked down on the dark carpet covering your hallway, reliving that horrible night and all the events that followed after. Your tears started again, rolling down your cheeks, soaking your skin in the salty liquid. Your breath hitched before you could continue.

“I knew you escaped, I knew you were hiding somewhere, noone knew where. Although even if I knew, I wouldn’t have gone to look for you. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me, that you forgot about me and whilst it breaks my heart to think about it, if that’s the case, I accept that. But I need you to tell me that you don’t want us, otherwise I will keep hoping.” Your voice broke as you finished your monologue, hoping for the man in front of you to say that he needed you, that he wanted his son, that he couldn’t be happier to be beside you.

“I thought you already had someone else. I never thought you’d be waiting.” He shook his head, stunned.

“I was. I was waiting for you, Sirius, even if at times I thought you would never leave that hellhole, even if at times it was terrifying to be a single mom, even if at times I thought I would never see your face again. I was waiting even when you escaped, even when I thought you didn’t think of me anymore.” You confessed with a small smile playing in the corner of your lips. The fact that he was still standing in front of you, instead of running away, made you feel hopeful.

“I never forgot about you, I was just scared to search for you and turn your life upside down, especially when I thought you have moved on already. There wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you, but I had to shove it into the back of my mind. I’m a fugitive, I’m wanted, the ministry is looking for me. I couldn’t just come to you.” He stepped closer, placing his hand on your cheek, caressing your skin with his slightly calloused thumb. He leaned closer, placing a small kiss on your forehead, not daring to make the next step just yet.

He heaved a deep sigh, leaning his forehead against yours. You enjoyed the silent breaths between you, the calm atmosphere. Noone of you dared to step over the boundaries, even if both of you needed to be closer to each other.

You took a deep breath, before you exhaled shakily. “You know, he knows who you are.” Sirius knew what you meant without another word. “I wanted him to know his father.” You couldn’t read Sirius’ expression, but you were hoping it wouldn’t be the moment he leaves. “Do you want to meet him? Properly?” You asked, but before you let him answer you continued. “I don’t want to pressure you. If you need time to think, that’s perfectly fine.” You added quickly.

“I want to meet him.” He smiled softly, a nerves knot sitting in the pit of his stomach. You got hold of his hand, the feeling of his long fingers folding around your hand making you nostalgic and somewhat giddy. You walked him towards the living room, both of you halting in the doorway, watching James seated in front of the Christmas tree with a photo of a younger Sirius in his hand.

“James?” You called your son, making him jump. He looked up at you, before his eyes wandered to Sirius, studying the man. “Can you come here, please?” You asked and the boy stood up, walking over to you. James faced Sirius, both of them studying each other with a curious gaze.

“He is my dad, isn’t he?” He asked, looking up at you with the identical grey eyes his father had, his gaze questioning. You nodded in a reply, watching as he reached his hand towards Sirius, who accepted it with a proud smile. “I’m James.” He introduced himself.

“I’m Sirius.” He replied with a nod.

“Is he staying?” James asked as he looked up at you waiting for a reply. Your stomach jumped at the thought, but you didn’t know how to reply. You turned to Sirius for an answer.

A wider smile started spreading across his face as he squeezed your hand, which you still didn’t let go of, completely forgetting about how natural it felt to be connected with him. “If you let me, that would be amazing.” Sirius replied confidently, making you let out a single laughter.

“I would love that.” You smiled happily. “Can I leave the two of you alone until I try to save the food from burning?” You asked with a silent chuckle. Both of the boys nodded confidently, waiting for you to leave. They watched you with eager eyes as you looked back at them, making sure that everything was going well.

You quickly headed to the kitchen, pulling out the roasted potatoes and turkey from the oven, slightly burned, but still edible enough. You placed the trays on top of the unoccupied part of the stove and removed the mulled wine from the fire, before turning it off. You tried to work as fast as you could, impatiently wanting to head back to your boys. Seeing them together was like a dream come true and you felt like you were still dreaming. You needed to see them again as soon as possible to be able to believe it was all happening to you.

You rushed back to the living room as soon as you finished and leaned against the doorframe watching as Sirius and James talked about quidditch, both with a childlike enthusiasm across their face. It was an idyllic moment you cherished dearly, the two most important men in your life bonding over their common interests. You never wanted to step out of that sweet reality you found yourself in.

“No, that’s not true. I will show you the best broomstick.” James exclaimed as he started off towards his room with a wide smile across his face, almost shoving you out of the way, before shouting a quick ‘sorry’ to you.

“He is an amazing kid.” Sirius stated with a cheerful grin across his face as he waved you over to the couch.

“I know, I tried to do my best.” You nodded in agreement as you took a seat beside Sirius.

“You did a fantastic job, love.” He beamed, his gaze warm and loving, just like all those years ago, capturing your complete focus, his pet name for you rolling off his tongue just as smoothly as all those years ago.

“Are you really staying?” You asked. “At least for a while?”

“I don’t ever want to leave you or James again.” He sighed deeply. “I still love you just as much as before, if not more and I want nothing more than to get to know my son. Our son.” He lifted his hand, caressing your face. “I want to be with you again. I want to support you and make up for the time we lost.” He leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, enjoying the moment with you.

You didn’t want to wait longer, nor could you do so. You closed the gap between you, attaching your lips to his, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands sneaked around your waist.

It was just as perfect and exciting as you remembered, if not better and you didn’t want to let go of him for as long as you could keep him in your arms. So many memories resurfaced whilst his lips moved against your, all the moments you have shared appearing to you like a happy little montage.

“Come on, Mom!” You heard James’ annoyed voice and you quickly parted from Sirius, both of you slightly panting from the passionate kiss.

“Sorry.” You chuckled as you watched his deformed expression, a disgusted grimace sitting across his face, before it slowly turned into a small smile.

“I’m glad we are all together, but keep that behind closed doors.” James whined, making you giggle as he sat down in front of the couch on the carpet, showing his broomstick to Sirius. He threw his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, hinting a kiss on top of your head.

The food got cold and was slightly burned by the time the guests arrived, but you were the happiest person in that moment, and nothing could ruin it. Your family being together for the first time was the best Christmas present you could ever wish for.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and/or reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

Harry Potter general taglist: @inkhearthes @hufflefluff-writer @fific7 @haphazardhufflepuff @kalimagik @accio-rogers @harrypotter289 @nebulablakemurphy @iliveiloveiwrite @mytreec @chaoticgirl04 @idont-knowrn @mayaaa-l @imboredandneedalife @pregnant-piggy @prongsies @holdupwhat @ravenclea @kashishwrites @izzytheninja @timogtrrz @wassup-peoples @levylovegood @msmimimerton @bbeauttyybbx @kiwi-sloan @moatsnow @pandaxnienke @chloer1275​ @sreidswhore​ 

Christmas Calendar taglist: @a-classic-eye

Harry Potter - Marauders era taglist: @susceptible-but-siriusexual

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

[accio-victuuri]

BoXiao : Endorsement CPNs

Just listing a few of my favorites, where we clowned so hard with what appears to be bxg biased signs from brands. Mostly 2020-2021. This was supposed to be a simple post but it got a little bit out of hand. So. Here you go. Enjoy!

Note: If you don’t like CPN posts, just scroll along. If you don’t like BJYX — this is not for you. don’t hurt yourself and skip this post.

1. RoseOnly - I will not add the RoseOnly x Peace Elite collaboration here anymore cause most of the people reading this should be familiar. A little bit of my thoughts on that are here.

Now let’s move on to other clownery, cause when I said we did see some 👀 before, I meant it.

• GG’s campaign with them where he showcased a bunny with rainbow colored flowers. They could be showcasing all the kind of flowers they have or LGBT friendly advertising. After all, All love is love. 🌈

• For Roseonly’s 8th anniversary, GG had a campaign and VCR w/ them and that big 8 flower. 8 means bo. It’s truly used for the anniversary but of course we CPN cause we are clowns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwGnDR4zspI

• During Web’s promo for rules of my world and when his teaser photos came out— RoseOnly released a photo of a black rose ( same color as Web’s clothes in the teaser ) with the caption:

You’re the coolest guy in my heart.

• When they were doing a teaser for their new endorser, some people were pointing out that the silhouette looks like Bobo. lol. Twins!

• All the references to the Lonely Planet and Little Prince for this promotion. We all know that they both love LP and whether this is CPN or a personal preference— we’re claiming it!

• The green rose they once advertised with the caption I ONLY LOVE YOU. and with the green rose symbolizing innocence, simplicity and forever young. Green and those keywords, who do you remember?

• In 2019, they did a selling bundle with Shu Uemura which was a brand Web was endorsing at that time.

• In a live, the color green and red rose were together — GG and Web colors.

• An Ad in their online store where the display is the Leo rose which is Bobo’s zodiac sign. and GG is holding Libra. Leo x Libra. And with the caption below for their advertisement. We know Web is the Leo of all Leos but it’s still 👀

The proud Leo has a child-like arrogant temper. Some people think they are not easy to get along with, but they don’t know that they just have not entered their hearts. Actually, Leo’s tenderness is only for the right person.

Some other thing that I will add here for reference but I don’t necessarily believe. Link from weibo.

• When GG was announced as their brand spokesperson and Web gave a clue in his post. Also GG making 3 different posts and kadian combinations.

I’m adding in this collab they had with Eleme, the same time Web was endorsing the brand.

I’m sure I missed a couple more from RoseOnly but that just depends on how clear your BXG glasses are. To me the most important is their Lonely Planet / Star campaign with GG last year.

2. Shu Uemura - This is one of the OG brands that Web endorses and who loves him very much. They signed him when he was not yet a big star and flew him to different countries. They treat him very well. 🤍

• The most recent one is from their Ad with Bobo and a red ribbon which made us all think of WWX. I can understand from an Ad perspective that it’s perfect to pair up with a red lipstick — but our brains are wired to CPN. Soooo. And this is not their first offense with stuff like this.

• This Ad featuring Bobo : - "博"君一笑 BJYX.

• For the promotion photos of this eyeshadow palette, the colors and look is similar to GG’s painting for the Guangdian album cover. Yes. This was done some time after the song was released.

• This one is more of a coincidence. Years apart, both on the same day, they posted about a collaboration with One piece. It’s their favorite Anime. GG as Luffy & Web as Roronoa Zoro.

3. Qeelin -  will be very lazy with this one and copy/paste from my jewelry post. Take note that this Bobo design is not new and had always been a classic from Qeelin.

4. Kai Xiao Zao - Ah! KXZ! The brand that loves GG the most. So what signs did they give?

• Their recent new product is wontons. Who do we know that likes wontons? It reminded BXGs of the unofficial BTS when Web was nagging GG to eat Wontons.

• They used a well known BXG idiom:

"你是夏日限定, 也是来日方长"

5. Chunzhen - Endorsed by Bobo, and this is under Mengniu. It caused some drama— cause GG & Web are technically promoting the same company. but like, there are so many other c-ent artists endorsing this brand.

• They posted for this year’s Qixi, stating in the Caption that Bobo is able to balance love and work. Really? How did they know? And they had made a character called XIAO ZHEN for qixi ( a cartoon girl with blue hair ).

• Zhenguoli ( endorsed by GG ) and Chunzhen drinks which are under the same company posted graphics of the two drinks together. 👀

• Also since it’s both under the same umbrella company, and both yogurt drinks— you can see their boxes together in shops.

6. Stride - In Bobo’s box set initial release, 3 flavors were included and one of them is passionfruit or bai xiang guo ( bxg ). Of course, bxgs bought it because we were represented. ✌🏼

Also in a message, the brand acknowledged BXGs but later had to delete it because of well— you know who.

Dear Moto/Passion Fruit fans,

Thank you for your support to Hyunmai's spokesperson~. The gift box endorsed by Yibo is temporarily sold out, it is recommended You first collect and purchase, if it is sold later.

Please buy it as soon as possible~

7. Swarovski -  endorsed by Web 🤍

• They had turtle charms and bracelets, which endeared them to BXGs.

• They had a bracelet where you can put charms and in their Ad, it spells YIBO. of course. However a BXG noticed that on their recommended letters to add next, the letters are XZ + heart with a dot.

• Last year’s promotion of a lock necklace— Web changed his Weibo header. ‘Lock love, lock you.’

• His May 2020 Mother’s day promotion video that includes a confession (?). I know this is far off but the line used:

“ I love you, want you to see. I am Wang Yibo, this is my unique confession" is so similar to GG’s Bazaar confession.

8. Budweiser -- What we basically CPN about them is that they are an LGBT friendly brand and it’s always a plus when our boys endorse those kind of companies.

• Here you can find the CPN on the can that GG supposedly created with them.

• Their ad about ALL LOVE IS LOVE.•

 An earlier Ad that had two male leads. and another one recently released with same sex couple. 🌈

Also they did a collab with G-shock which is a brand that Web endorses.

9. Man Han Feast Noodles

• The most recent one is GG playing the Guqin ala LWJ and looking out the window to see the moon ( again ala LWJ ). Best part is GG looking like he would burst out laughing and they kept in the Ad.

• In their Mother’s Day post one line says “if you love someone you’ll always encourage them to eat more”. Sounds like a familiar gesture right? Who do we know nags each other to eat?

10. Zenith Do I even have to explain this? 

• GG chose a rainbow watch from Zenith collection for Qixi Festival. 🌈

11. Mengniu - Oh well, just last week they had to clarify as an Ad from them was seen with the words: "并肩于雪山之巅" = BJYXSZD. (Side by Side at the snowy mountain top)

12. Anta/ Li-ning - I’m adding it here cause the store owners in this video brought out GG/Web standees together 😂 Context is, there was a BJYX gathering going on so they took that out cause they knew the attendees loved them.

Plus this shopping app that put them together.

I’m capping this post here and will update this sometime in the future. However the ones I added here stood out to me or I experienced when it came out. I wanted to add Luckin Tea / Lays / Olay but that will be for another time.

As with all the CPN, feel free to not believe any of these and just take it as a coincidence. Or people clowning and reading into things more than they should. lol. Whether these are intentional or not, BXGs are always there to support the boys whenever they can. 🙏🏼

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Every Emma Woodhouse Ranked and Rated

With all my reviews of all the period-set adaptations now finished, I'm beginning my series in which I rate and rank each interpretation of all the principle characters, starting with our girl Emma!

Now I wanna be clear--I am not rating the actresses that played Emma. I am rating how the character was handled in general in each adaptation. The actresses are a factor, but they're not the sole factor, since the writer and director have as much, if not more, to do with how the character ends up in the finished product. So without futher ado, let's rank...

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her….

“The real evils indeed of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much of her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself; these were the disadvantages that threatened alloy to her many enjoyments.”

NUMBER 5: 1972

Portrayed by: Doran Godwin

Age at time of filming: 28

Clocking in as the oldest actress to play Austen’s famously TWENTY-ONE year old heroine (at the ripe age of 28), Doran Godwin also snags the coveted position as inhabiting the worst portrayal of the character (in my personal estimation) to date.

Just about everything about this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse is bad, from her seemingly automated recital of her lines to her all-too-intense, wide-eyed, hypnotic stare. The 1972 portrayal of Emma highlights all the character’s worst qualities while also failing to convincingly communicate her good qualities, such as her caring nature. The script is equally to blame for the awfulness of this interpretation, adding unnecessarily cruel and condescending lines, including one where she negs Harriet for being sad after Elton’s marriage, and then forces Harriet to come with her to meet the new Mrs. Elton, when Emma in the book did her best to shield Harriet from exactly that kind of situation.

Godwin couldn’t pass for 21 if her life had depended on it, and the worst part is that the script actually states Emma’s age, so she seems like a bit of a crazy spinster, preying on the naïve Harriet. Whether it’s her intent to bathe in Harriet’s blood to keep herself young, or to bake her into a pie is up for debate.

Rating: 1/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 4: 2020

Portrayed by: Anya Taylor Joy

Age at time of filming: 23

I thought long and hard about this. This movie is a modern period drama phenomenon. It’s gotten so many people into Jane Austen and satisfied long-time Austen fans by giving them an interpretation they never dared hope to see. It’s a gorgeous film.

But I don’t like this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse. Though Anya Taylor Joy is one of the youngest actresses to play Emma (only two years older than the character) she’s played with a careful stiffness that perhaps shows us a glimpse of the Lady Catherine she might turn into without swift intervention. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and this isn’t a commentary on Anya Taylor Joy either—her appearance or her acting ability—but I just don’t like her as Emma. And she’s not the sole problem, she turns in a solid performance, she’s a good actress, but something about this characterization is just off-color to me. Anya Taylor Joy plays a great mean-girl; but I think that’s one of the reasons why they thought she’d be a good choice for this role, and it’s one of the prime reasons I don’t think she wasright for it. Emma is a deeply flawed character and, of course, the biggest turning point in her story comes as a result of a thoughtlessly mean remark to someone who has only ever shown her deference, hospitality and gratitude.

All that said, Emma is not, at her core, a cruel person. Emma has gone all her life thinking condescending things about Miss Bates but it’s only when Frank comes along and validates her less kind commentaries that she actually starts to voice them in search of validation from a peer.

The problem with this in the context of 2020’s Emma Woodhouse is that Frank hardly gets a look-in in this adaptation. Emma’s relationship with him is severely underdeveloped and the actors don’t have enough chemistry to pull it off in the limited time they’re given. The result is that Emma appears to cross a line just to cross it, and it pushes Emma’s character from thoughtless to out-and-out frigid.

Still better than Doran Godwin, since she's identifiably human.

Rating: 2 1/2 / 5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 3: 1996 (MIRAMAX)

Portrayed by: Gwyneth Paltrow

Age at time of filming: 24

Despite the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow was an appalling casing choice for Emma Woodhouse (I will be forever salty that they passed over Joely Richardson), and I know there are some who will think me, at best, crazy (sacrilegious, at worst) for ranking 1996’s interpretation of Emma higher than 2020, I actually feel that solidly in the middle is right where this version of the character belongs.

There’s so much wrong with this Emma: she swings from mature to bizarrely infantile at the drop of a hat, much of her script is genuinely tragic, Gwyneth can’t convincingly portray Emma's social naiveté, her accent is overwhelmingly nasal and impossible to listen to, just for starters.

And yet… I don’t hate her. I don’t like her particularly either, but even though much of the dialogue re-working butchered Austen’s prose, there are a lot of things McGrath seems to have gotten right about Emma’s character. Her relationship with Knightley feels comfortable and playful, and, while Emma of the book probably doesn’t really care for Harriet Smith in the spirit of true bosom friendship, I believe she does care about her and wishes to spare her (further) pain. She shows exasperation with Harriet while still being patient with her, which is very much in the spirit of the book. Her concern for Harriet at the ball feels real, and her contrition at Box Hill following Knightley’s rebuke, while not profound, at least feels like contrition and not self-pity.

Perhaps, given the soft-take that the Miramax version is, it shouldn’t be surprising that the biggest faults in characterization rest on awkward writing and the biggest triumphs highlight Emma’s better side. It’s not a very in-depth take on the character, but it at least, is an adequate one.

Rating: 3/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 2: 1996/97 (ITV)

Portrayed by: Kate Beckinsale

Age at time of filming: 23

Those who’ve read my reviews of each adaptation of Emma might be surprised to see ITV’s portrayal of the title character sitting so high on my list. To be frank, it’s a distant second, and she may have stolen the number two spot only because she’s played by Kate Beckinsale and not Gwyneth Paltrow.

In truth, I see a lot of parallels between 1997’s Emma and 2020’s. Both actresses were 23 (or thereabouts) when they played the role, both have extremely childish moments, and both crumple down and burst into tears that don’t feel entirely genuine after Box Hill.

So why is 1997 on the good side of the number 3 spot and 2020 isn’t? I’m not precisely sure. I think it may be because Andrew Davies (and/or Diarmuid Lawrence) at least understood the scale of Emma Woodhouse’s wealth and status. This Emma feels sufficiently self-important, a bit haughty, sure—but she’s also believably naïve. You feel her isolation, you understand her caring relationship with her father, and she’s not as patently rude to Robert Martin compared to the 2020 version (she at least acknowledges his presence when he meets Emma and Harriet in the lane).

Grudging though this favorable placement may be, I can at least acknowledge that Emma herself is the least of my problems with this version, and even though Beckinsale’s acting is a bit sketchy at certain points, she also has some truly great moments, especially her interaction with Robert Martin at the end of the film. This portrayal is consistent, and Emma’s better qualities aren’t overpowered by her negative ones.

Rating: 4/5 Half-finished portraits

Number 1: 2009

Portrayed by: Romola Garai

Age at time of filming: 26

And in a shocking twist—I’m kidding this is neither shocking nor unexpected to anyone who knows me or has read my blog/reviews of the Emma adaptations. Am I totally biased? Probably. I don’t care, this is a completely subjective list. Here, finally—my first and true love as Emma Woodhouse—is Romola Garai. I suppose it’s also not surprising that the first actress I ever saw in the role would still be my favorite a decade on. I just love everything about this interpretation of the character. She rides the very difficult line of being bright, caring and intelligent, while also being completely naïve and lacking in social savvy (in her own age-group at least), coddled, and painfully sure of her own self-importance.

Even though Garai was 25 or 26 at the time (far too old for the character—almost as old as Doran Godwin) her energy and charisma are enough that she’s able to carry it off convincingly. Everything about this Emma screams youth, and when Emma’s child-like social ignorance is her most prominent characteristic, it feels authentic and natural. Equally authentic are her emotions—her love for her family, her dynamic with Knightley, he exasperation, patience, and concern with Harriet. Most of all though, this Emma seems to experience the most maturation in the last quarter of the story. Box Hill really feels like a turning point—not just a chastened young woman, but a true coming-of-age moment. Emma faces a reckoning here that begins a chain reaction culminating in her realization of her feelings for Knightley, and everything from the writing to Garai’s performance conveys the magnitude of this shift in Emma’s life.

This version of the character seems the most… complete to me. Somehow, between Romola Garai’s vibrancy, Sandy Welch’s screenplay and Jim O’Hanlon’s direction, this interpretation takes an extremely divisive character and helps the viewer understand just why everyone in Highbury loves Emma Woodhouse.

Rating: 5/5 Half-finished portraits

~~~~

If you liked this, check out my rankings of Mr. and Mrs. Weston

[nctsjiho]

Dive Into You

warnings: strong langue

era: summer 2020

❀ When the members find themselves in a less than ideal situation Mark has to assert his dominance over the younger members in some way

“Guys~ I think I have some bad news.” The car engine sputtered a few times causing the 4 boys to look at JiHo with worried expressions. “What’s that?” Renjun asked, who was sat in the passenger’s seat next to JiHo. He watches as JiHo’s lips turn into a tight-lipped smile and the cars starts going slower, and slower, until it ultimately reaches a complete stand still. “So we might have run out of gas.”

The boys in the back seat groan, unable to process the situation they were currently in. “How?! You said we’d be fine on gas!” Renjun immediately fired at her. “Excuse you, we would’ve been okay if we stopped at the gas station earlier, but you suck at giving directions so guess where we didn’t go.” She didn’t make eye contact with the boy, only staring out in front of her, her voice laced with an extremely sarcastic mocking tone.

“Uh-uh.” Renjun pushed himself up from his comfortable position in the seat to face JiHo completely. “Maybe it’s you who sucks at taking directions!” “No I don’t.” “You totally do!” Before the two could go on with their childish back and forth Mark put his hand between the two young adults – how are these kids adults already? “Let’s not, okay? Whoever’s fault it is, we’re here now and we need to find a way to get back home.”

Renjun sighs and plops himself back in his seat, but not without Jiho noticing the exaggerated roll of his eyes which she gladly mimics. “Well it’s definitely JiHo’s fault.” The Chinese member mumbles. However the rest of the car clearly heard it and they all groan. “You’re such a child.” The girl scoffed and then turned her head to look outside of the window.

It’s quiet for a few minutes in the front of the car, while Mark, Haechan and Jeno contemplate their options. Since they were stranded in the middle of nowhere, they didn’t have any reception on their phones and most of them were on the brink of dying. “We’re doomed!” Haechan cried out in stress to which Mark just tried to comfort him with a small pat on his thigh.

“Well we know who we have to thank for this.” “Can you quit it. I’m sorry, okay? But it’s not only my fault.” JiHo was clearly getting ticked off by Renjun’s behaviour. “We know JiHo. It’s okay, maybe a car will pass by us and they can help us.” Mark tried to lighten up the mood. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen another car though.” Jeno muttered to - what was just supposed to be – himself, yet the small confinement, the car, they were in made it so everyone could hear. “Thanks Jeno, I’m sure that’s what we all wanted to hear right now.” Haechan said through gritted teeth to which Jeno quickly apologised.

“I knew I shouldn’t have gotten into this car with you-“ “Oh my God! You are being insanely annoying right now! Do you even hear yourself?” JiHo’s last ounce of patience ran out at yet another unnecessary remark from the boy next to her. “I know we’re all sensitive from this heat and the situation we’re in but let’s be nice-“ Mark tried to reason, but got completely ignored instead. “I was sure I was going to die, but I didn’t expect it to be this way.” “Have you ever considered becoming an actor? Drama seems to be a great fit for you.” JiHo spat venomously. “Have you? Comedy seems right up your ally.” Renjun sent her an equally venomous smile.

“You know? If you knew how to properly drive, this wouldn’t have happened.” “I’ve had my licence since I was 18 and no one has ever complained about my driving skills.” The fighting continued. Haechan and Jeno already tuned themselves out of the argument, the heat getting to their heads and making them slightly dizzy.

“Maybe everyone was just to scared to tell you the truth.” “Huang Renjun, if you say one more thing, I’ll swear I’ll-“ JiHo threatened, pointing her finger at the boy who just raised one brow and stared at her mockingly. “Both of you!” Mark suddenly yelled, catching everyone off guard.

The four 00 liners watched as Mark took a second to calm his ragged breathing. “Hyung?” Jeno tapped the older boy’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” Renjun asked. As a response he was met with Mark opening his eyes and shooting daggers through them at him and his female friend – maybe not in this particular situation, but on good days they were definitely great friends. “Get out of the car.” The boy said in a dangerously low voice. “But-“ “GET OUT NOW!”

Renjun and JiHo quickly got out of the car, instantly getting hit by the intense rays of the sun. Ever since the car had stopped working it was still cool inside, the air conditioner had been working up until that point, so getting outside they were hit by reality. Luckily there was still a nice, strong, cool breeze that soothed their already burning skin.

Inside the car Haechan and Jeno watched the older boy with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” Haechan asked carefully. He would never admit it, but in that particular moment, Haechan was slightly scared of Mark. “It’s really hot outside. Hyung-“ “Jeno, get in the driver’s seat.” Mark eyed the boy who without a word complied and crawled out of the car. Mark followed suit.

“Hyung! The sun’s burning me. What do you want us to do outside?” As soon as Renjun’s eyes caught Mark getting out of the car, he complained with a visible pout on his lips. His eyes followed the older boy’s figure walking to the door of the passenger’s seat. “What-“ Renjun stuttered, completely dumbfounded.

“You two-“ He pointed at Renjun and then at JiHo. “-push.” Mark opened the door and just as he was about to climb into his seat he heard multiple complaints and cries from the two younger members. “I can’t even see the next exit or stop from here. Until when do you want us to push?” JiHo asked exasperated. “Just push until anyone’s phone gets enough reception to call for help, or until we see another car pass by.”

Mark now had one foot into the car when another question halted him. “What if neither works out?” JiHo was a bit more careful with her tone now. She realised that they had really pushed Mark’s patience and it was of no use to continue to fight back. “Then you’ll push until we get to the next stop.” “Hyung?” Renjun quickly yelled before Mark could close the door. “Can’t Jeno or Haechan help? JiHo isn’t the strongest if you know what I mean-“ “Shut it, stick boy.” JiHo hissed earning a glare from the boy.

The oldest sighed. “Jeno is in the driver’s seat and Haechan needs to keep an eye out on his phone. His has the most battery.” “And you?” Renjun mumbled. “I am gonna close this door so I don’t have to hear you anymore and then I’m going to close my eyes and take a nap. I have a headache because of you.”

Without giving Renjun a chance to say anything, Mark closes the door harshly leaving Renjun standing in the blaring sun flustered. His head snaps up when he heard JiHo snicker. “Not gonna lie, but Mark really got you with that one.” “Oh shut up. You know he was talking about both of us.” Renjun made his way over to JiHo who was ready to start pushing the car. “I only heard ‘you’. Not ‘you both’ or ‘the two of you’.” She beamed, shaking her body in a playful way. The sight eased Renjun’s tense body just a tad, he couldn’t believe JiHo was being so upbeat even after getting scolded and punished by their older member. She was really something else.

“Hey you two! Start pushing!” Renjun and JiHo looked up to see Haechan peek his head out of the car window. “Yah! Haechan!” Renjun tried his best not to swear at the boy who was already getting on his nerves. “I suggest you don’t look straight in front of you then.” JiHo giggled. The boy was slightly confused but as he did just what she told him not to do it was clear to him that JiHo could absolutely read his mind.

Haechan was perched up on his knees on the back seat of the car facing the back and staring at the two pushing the car. He sent them teasing glances, clearly amused by how the situation panned out. “That loser.” “I don’t think you get to call him that when we’re here, outside, pushing a car in the middle of nowhere.” JiHo reminded him and the boy sighed. “You’re right. I guess.”

After about 2 minutes of pushing the car in silence Renjun spoke up. “Hey-“ He panted and JiHo turned to look at him. She saw how the strands of his hair were stuck to his forehead, sweat dripping down and pooling at his chin. “What’s up?” JiHo asked, her breath also uneven. “I’m sorry that I was so mean to you before. That was way out of line.” “Hey, it’s fine. We were all a bit sensitive because of this whole situation which is far from… ideal.” Renjun sighed and stopped pushing causing JiHo to lose her balance for a second. “Why did you stop?” She wiped the sweat of her forehead and looked at the boy.

“I hate when you do this.” “Do what?” Confusion washed over JiHo’s face. “You’re always the angel in these situations. Never really say anything wrong and always accept apologies so quickly.” JiHo chuckled at the way Renjun looked so defeated. “Want me to be meaner and not accept your apology?” This caused Renjun to roll his eyes and return to push the car. JiHo quickly got back as well to help him.

“That’s not what I meant.” “If it makes you feel any better, in my mind I was totally cursing you out and fully blaming you.” Renjun’s eyes widened almost comically and JiHo had to force herself not to laugh. “How is that supposed to make me feel better- Wait! I’m almost a full year older then you, you should be a bit more respectful-“ “Hey!” Before a new argument could break out Haechan’s voice sounded loudly.

“What? Did you get enough reception?” JiHo and Renjun quickly made their way to the door on Haechan’s side. “No, I just thought maybe we should take a picture real quick. So we have a way to commemorate this and retell this story in the future.” The two members who stood outside started to feel their blood boil. “Lee Haechan, I swear I’ll kill you.” Renjun threatened through gritted teeth.

 JiHo tried her hardest not to smile, she really did, but the situation was just too funny. “What are you laughing at huh?” JiHo turned her head to the left to see a sweaty Haechan glaring at her. “Nothing, nothing.” She snickered and faced away from the boy only to find Renjun having an equally as amused grin on his face. “Just keep pushing.” Haechan mumbled annoyed.

Suddenly Mark’s face appeared through the window from the passenger’s side of the car. “The three of you! Just shut up and push. I think the reception is getting stronger.” A second of silence. “Oh wait! Never mind.” He turned to look at the younger members, a sickly sweet smile appearing on his face. “Just keep pushing okay?”

---

Side note: There’s absolutely no correlation between the title and the story besides that there’s a car and it has the Dream members in it ^^

I loved writing this though, it’s a bit longer than usual since more inspiration kept coming while I was writing it. I hoped you liked it as much as I liked writing it!

I hope you have a nice day/evening/night <3 and depending on where you are, if you are also experiencing this insane heat, please stay hydrated and take care of yourself. Don’t just go out without protecting yourself from the sun! Renjun and JiHo were wearing sunscreen and Mark handed them enough cold water from the cooler they had in the back of the car <3

[magicwithineleteo]

Bestie I’m not up to date with celeb drama what’s with Zayn and Yolanda Hadid 😭

hi bestie! it's a lot, so strap yourself in.

TW RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA, ASSAULT, EATING DISORDER

so yolanda hadid (the mother of gigi, bella and anwar hadid) has a pattern of being very problematic. that woman has been homophobic, (being worried that gigi was a lesbian bc she played volleyball and said that being gay is a choice) racist, (not letting gigi wear her hair/makeup a certain way bc she looked "chinese") and has basically promoted gigi to having an eating disorder, by not letting her eat a healthy amount of anything. at gigi's graduation party, she let gigi only eat one extremely small bite of her cake to not "ruin her diet", as well as telling gigi to to eat two almonds and "slowly chew" when gigi passed out from not eating enough.

if you didn't know, gigi and zayn dated starting from 2016, but then broke up in 2018. yolanda leaked this breakup to the press.

after some time, i believe in late 2019, they got back together. soon, in april 2020, yolanda leaked the fact that gigi was pregnant to tmz. obviously, both gigi and zayn wanted to announce this big news, but no, yolanda leaked it.

their daughter's birth was announced in september 2020, and since then, zayn and gigi have both made very clear that they want their daughter khai to have privacy and chose to not reveal her face to the public.

recently, yolanda leaked khai's face to the public, which is what gigi and zayn did not want.

either yesterday or a couple days back, zayn released a statement on twitter about the current matter, saying that he wanted to keep the matter private to protect khai. yolanda ran to tmz first about zayn allegedly striking her than to the police, and zayn said he "adamantly denies striking yolanda hadid" and chose not to speak on it more for the sake of khai.

apparently, yolanda busted into zayn and gigi's home while gigi was away, and with a bodyguard, she tried to take khai. obviously, him being a protective father who wanted to save his daughter's privacy, got into a verbal dispute with her. she accused him of saying many nasty things to her and then pushing her into a dresser.

gigi's family is currently trying to have custody over khai and is having gigi take a dna test to see if zayn is the father, which means she could've cheated on him.

they also charged him w 4 counts of assault, and he is on probation, and is going to take anger management classes, and paying court fines. zayn pled no contest, which means that he didn't do it, but he's accepting the punishment (for the sake of khai.) because of all of this, zayn's management and record label dropped him, as well as upcoming sponorships pulled out of working with him.

yolanda has also did some wack ass shit to zayn. if you don't know, zayn has anxiety and well...here's an excerpt from an article.

time and time again, yolanda has been very toxic. and time and time again, the media paints zayn as a villain due to him being pakistani and muslim. zayn has vaguely talked about this sort of stuff in various songs.

zayn's fans (like me) know that he would never do such a thing and even non fans know that yolanda hadid is truly an awful person. she has proven herself many times that she is not one to believe. i normally always believe the victim but not this time. because of her, zayn is suffering so much and he doesn't deserve that at all. using her white woman tears against him. this is why twitter was trending things like #welovezayn , #respectzayn , #freezayn , etc. the hadids are just a pretty toxic family in general, and i hope zayn manages to get custody of khai.

that's all i know as of right now;

i stand with zayn.

[holylulusworld]

He’s my man

Summary: Hands off her man… (For a longer summary read the original request under the tags.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ofc

Warnings: angst, language, curvy reader, sassy reader, public making out, bullying (kinda), mentions of sex, smut, unprotected sex, woman on top, car sex, Impala sex, biting kink

Kinktober Special: Impala sex

Kinktober 2020

Divider by @writeyourmindaway​

“Morning,” Sam grumbles, following you and Dean toward the Impala. “Did you have a good night? Mine was awful.”

“Nope, we had a great night,” Dean grins like the cat that got the cream when he moves one hand to your ass, roughly groping it. “We barely slept but we don’t care.”

“Same,” you snicker at Sam’s words. The poor guy looks like he didn’t sleep at all. “I care, though. Next time, warn me so I can get a room far away from yours.”

Dean laughs at his brother’s words, still that cocky grin on his lips. “Can you blame me, Sammy? I got lucky tonight…incredibly lucky.”

“Dean Winchester!” You slap Dean’s chest, cheeks heating up as Sam nods thoughtfully. “You can’t just tell Sammy so.”

“You finally let that guy touch you?” Dean grunts at his brother’s words. He clenches his jaw when Sam grins at you. “Did you think this through? Dean won’t ever keep his hands to himself from now on.”

You grin, stepping toward Sam to pat his chest. “Oh-Sammy, I’m counting on it. Last night he gave me a preview of what will come.” You giggle at Sam’s pained expression. “I will ride this train until the end.”

“See, that’s my girl,” Dean runs after you to open the door to the passenger seat for you. “I knew she’ll love it.”

“Gosh, I’m hungry,” you look at the menu, almost drooling onto your shirt. “Dean wore me out.”

“I did,” grinning again Dean pecks your neck, lightly nibbling at your skin. “Could devour you again if you want me to.” Someone clears her throat next to Dean who shamelessly bites your neck.

“I will have the egg white, toast, and coffee, please,” Sam orders, eyes drifting to you and Dean. “I guess my brother will need a moment.”

“No,” Dean protests, stomach rumbling. “I’ll have the bacon with eggs, toast, pancakes and coffee, black.”

“I have the same,” you smile at Dean, ignoring the waitress tries to get his attention when she taps her pink nails onto the table. “That’s it, sweetheart.” You coo, hand creeping to Dean’s thigh to slide your fingers up and down.

“Just a minute,” the waitress snickers, eying you up and down, a frown on her face. “Maybe you should have what your tall friend has.”

“Are you deaf or dumb?” You purse your lips, pointing toward the menu. “I said I’ll have what my boyfriend has.”

“It’s your ass…” She turns on her heels, muttering something you can’t hear.

“What the fuck was that?” Dean grunts, looking at you. “Do you know her?” You smirk, hand creeping up to Dean’s cock to graze the outlines. “Baby girl.”

“Nope. I guess she’s jealous you wanted to eat me alive, not her. Girls like her believe everyone must look at her, you know. The prom queen kind of girl,” you shrug, already turning your attention toward the pie the girl at the table opposite yours eats. “I want pie.”

“I say it again – that’s my girl…”

“God, that’s a goddamn masterpiece,” you swoon shoving a spoonful of your pancake into Dean’s mouth. “Taste the maple syrup, baby.”

“Awesome. I’d like to lick it off your body,” moaning you nod eagerly whilst Sam retches.

“Guys, first – not in front of me. Secondly, gross.” Sam scrunches up his nose, ignoring Dean grunts when you whisper something into his ear.

“Hey, I know you are busy eating, but I thought I’ll leave you my number before I go,” the waitress taking your orders swoons. “I know you want someone more…suitable.”

Dean ignores the girl, rather licks the maple syrup of your finger. He only has eyes for you when you lean closer and to shove your finger into his mouth.

“Did you hear me? I think a hot guy like you shouldn’t waste his time on a thick girl,” the waitress spats, hand sliding over Dean’s biceps. “If you are up to some real fun, call me, baby.” Dean’s eyes drop to your cleavage and his cock twitches in interest.

You see red, blood-red when she dares to touch your man. Your body goes stiff, your eyes narrow and Dean knows, he needs to calm you before you explode. His hand gently squeezes your thigh, but the girl just doesn’t get a hint.

“Come on, you’re a hunk. That girl is a three, but you are a ten on good days,” she moans, now squeezing Dean’s arm.

“Yeah, he’s a hunk, bitch. Hung too,” you smirk, hands cupping Dean’s face to crush your lip onto his soft pillows. Your tongue swipes over the roof of his mouth, causing Dean to growl low in his throat.

Your hand drops from his face to his crotch, to roughly palm his erection. Dean is lost in the way you kiss him hard and your hand bringing his dick to life, not caring about anything but the feeling of your hand on his dick.

“You know, when we are done eating, sweet cheeks, my boyfriend and I will have so much fun I will walk funny for days,” with a dirty grin on your lips you look at the waitress who huffs at words before she storms off.

“I want to eat, sweetheart, but don’t forget what you said,” Dean pants. “I will make you scream again…and again…and fucking again.”

“I know…” Sam laughs when Dean looks at you like a love-sick puppy. He smirks, pecking your nose gently.

“Shut up,” you giggle, turning your attention back toward your food. “I’m hungry.”

“We didn’t say a thing, Y/N,” Dean steals a piece of bacon from your plate, chuckling as you glare at him. “How about we leave this shitty place and I fulfill your promise?”

“Follow me, Winchester,” you grasp for Dean’s hand to lead him out of the diner, tossing money onto the table on your way out. “Don’t wait up, Sammy. We are going to be occupied for a moment or two.”

“At least twenty minutes or more, Sam,” you warn, giggling as your friend rolls his eyes. “Maybe thirty.”

“God, sweetheart,” Dean grips your ass harshly. “Fuck me, you’re like a wildcat.” He cries out, feeling your teeth sink into his neck. You rock your hips steady, not wanting it to be over too soon. “I’m yours.”

“I know, Winchester,” you fist Dean’s hair to meet his darkened eyes. The grip on your flesh tightens when you bury your face back into his neck, granting Dean access to mark you too. “No one can have you. Not that bitch nor anyone else.”

“I love your possessive side. You make me so hard, baby girl,” you moan, gripping Dean’s shoulders to move up and down his length. “Do you know how much your curves get me going? That feast festival I call your boobs, god, I could die between your tits.”

“Dean,” his hands grip your tits, squeezes the tender flesh tightly when you lean backward. “You look so hot naked in the backseat.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Dean purrs the words, a smirk on his lips when you throw your head back as he thrusts up into you. “I’m quite a sight.”

“You are,” you drop one hand to your clit, slowly rubbing circles around the little nub. “Fuck me, please.”

“Fuck…” Dean grasps for your waist, to fuck up into you, not caring you start to scream or that anyone who walks across the parking lot could see you naked on top of him. “Cum for me, Y/N.” His voice low enough to have your head spinning Dean moans your name.

He spills hot into you, roaring your name when you convulse hot and endless around him. Thanks to Dean you’re a sweaty mess but you couldn’t care less.

You fall against Dean’s chest, panting heavily. “Love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

“Did you disinfect the car?” Sam looks at the backseat, furrowing his brows. “Dean?”

“We cleaned it, Sammy. Don’t be such a girl about it,” Dean snickers, his hand back on your ass. “I swear we didn’t do anything wrong in the backseat of my car.”

“Sure,” the younger Winchester grits out. “…and a vampire just wants to kiss your neck. Now give me that blanket you always hide in the trunk for Y/N.”

“Uh-Sammy,” you giggle, rubbing your arm nervously. “I wouldn’t use it if I were you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” pissed Sam strips his jacket off to place it onto the backseat. “Back at the bunker, you two will disinfect anything you ever had sex on.”

“My bed too?” Dean cocks a brow, close to bursting into laughter. “I mean, we only will make it dirty again.”

“Just shut up…” Sam sighs. “To think I was rooting for you…”

Original request:

1 reader,dean and Sam are away for a case, the previous night dean take virginity of the reader and have so hard hot passionate sex for all the night so in the morning are both so hungry. At the dinner dean order breakfast for them and they start eating when a waitress come to the table to hit on dean but he ignores her just having eyes for reader, 2 when the waitress se this make some comments on her weight (she have curves) and touching dean arm tell him to go to her when he want some real fun, dean and Sam know that the girl have made the worst mistakes of her life because reader have the same temper as dean if not worst and when dean feel her body tense he take his hands on her tights to calm her 3 but the waitress just keep pushing her bottoms and reader take dean face on him and kiss him hard and passionately let the waitress see her hand palming dean cock trough the jeans when she stop tell the girl that he will have so so much fun fucking her when they leave the dinner at this the girl go away and reader continues eating with Sam laughing at her and dean locking at her with love and a smirk and she tell them “shut up” and they say “we haven’t talked” 4 and end with hard Sex reader riding him and marking him with love bites in the impala and dean doing the same and how he loves her possessive side and her curves to touch! (She’s adopted by the boys and younger Thant both, Sammy loves her like a sister) drama smutt fluff humor

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[swiftgronmasterpost]

Spring/Summer/Fall 2013 - The End(?)

Click here for an appropriately sad Swiftgron breakup playlist.

I don’t know if it’s important or not but Dianna wishes several friends a late happy birthday on twitter, apologizing for missing the actual day through this spring and summer.  It seems like maybe she’s going through something (like a bad break up?) because it’s not like her to miss friends’ birthdays.

March 26, 2013 - Maybe a relevant tweet?

April 7, 2013 - Dianna tweets a photo of James Dean in a day dream like setting:

April 16, 2013 - The article that outed them:

Someone made a fake article that said Swiftgron was dating:

Dianna tweets seven times that day which is a bit much for her.

The hashtag here stands out to me:

The fake article goes viral and all week people are tweeting about the possibility that Dianna and Taylor are dating.

April 23, 2012

It seems to culminate on this day.  Many people are buzzing about Swiftgron and this actress tweets:

That’s right at midnight.

About 12 hours later Dianna deletes her public Tumblr:

On that same day Dianna reblogs several things on her private Tumblr.  These two stand out to me:

She reblogged both of these posts and the only hashtag they had in common was “#lost love” - she was searching that hashtag.

I think it’s very clear that today is the day Swiftgron 2.0 broke up.  I believe they were forced to by their management teams due to being outed.

April 24, 2013 - Taylor seems regretful/stressed out she screenshots her text to Austin and posts:

I think Dianna’s obviously upset about this and as an act of defiance she tweets at Taylor a few days later (Taylor does not respond.)

April 29, 2013

Instead Taylor posts on Dianna’s Birthday (April 30) a silly google search (very DIanna in nature tbh) with a play on the lyrics from 22:

Taylor had the week of Dianna’s 27th birthday off of the Red tour (it was scheduled like that) but as far as we know they did not hang out.

May 4, 2013 - Ours

At her first show since their supposed break-up, Taylor performs Ours as a surprise song. She introduces it by saying: “This is a song about how, when you fall in love everybody starts to give you their opinion. I imagine it could be really hard to make a relationship last, I wouldn’t know. But, given that everyone is giving you their own opinion about it, I think that the only opinion you should really listen to is yours and if you love that person, that should be all that matters.”

Dianna dyes her hair brown and goes to Morocco a week later with Ashley (”You searched the world for something else, To make you feel like what we had”) from about May 11 - May 14 or 15.  While there she attends the A Small World relaunch. ASW could be viewed as a bit “sketchy” if you will.  I think this is where she befriends Olivia Wilde.

This is Dianna’s first (known) trip to Morocco (Derek Blasberg is there too) but she seems to be drawn there over and over again after this, even marrying Winston Marshall there (and possibly meeting another boyfriend, Gus Wenner there.)

May 19, 2013 - Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas

Taylor wins 8 awards and says this during her acceptance speech:

This and the performance of Ours makes me think Taylor is bitter about a break up right now, even though publicly she broke up with Harry back in January.

This is also the event where Taylor is famously grossed out by Justin and Selena’s hetero nonsense and does this:

It seems like as always, Taylor has a lot going on right now...some kind of drama with Justin is boiling but it’s possible she’s also referencing her breakup with Dianna in her acceptance speech.

Dianna pops back up in NYC.

May 20, 2013 - WLW icon Kristen Stewart apparently spends the night at Taylors?

May 28, 2013 - Taylor plays Haunted on the Red Tour and gives a speech:

"This is a song that I haven't played on this tour so far. It came up when one of my friends tweeted the lyrics to it today and it reminded me that I haven't played this song in about two years. It has to do with the fact that, you know people talk about ghosts all the time. You just kind of imagine it being this supernatural thing, but there's another kind of ghost and it's just a person who is out there walking in the world or just doesn't love you anymore and that's a whole different kind of being haunted." Seems like she’s really going through it.

July 2, 2013 - Anniversary of Hyannis Port trip and interesting private Tumblr post from Dianna:

Bad things happen this summer.  Cory Monteith passes away and Taylor is assaulted at a meet and greet by a DJ.

July 2013 - Dianna buys a house in LA (I Wish You Would)

August 2013 - Dianna’s whosirmesir moniker gets outed and she stops blogging under that tumblr account.

August 14, 2013 - Taylor is in a weird place according to the Lover diaries:

1.  she seems to have basically written The Lakes here

2.  she’s really harping on themes she ends up addressing in I Know Places, Out of the Woods, and Wonderland

August 29, 2013 - Dianna steps out with restaurateur Nick Mathers.  

Not sure what to make of this one.  Dianna seems to date two types of men:  1. teeny bopper actors for bearding and pr purposes (it generally seems) and 2. rich businessmen.  Nick is type 2, but their relationship is reported on as if it’s PR.  “Sources” call up gossip sites to fill them in on the relationship and both their projects get plugged along with announcements on them as a couple:

I don’t know if they were more or less legit but she goes out with Taylor five days later...

September 4, 2013 - The Fun! Concert:

Swiftgron’s last pre-Kaylor public sighting - they go to a Fun! concert in LA

It’s just a split instant of video footage but Sarah Hyland uploads this to Vine and it does not look like Dianna is enjoying herself:

Note:  It kind of looks like DIanna has her arm around Taylor’s waist and also the person to the right of Taylor is Selby Drummond who is still friends with DIanna as of writing of this masterpost (December 2020) and who still appears to be a fan of Taylor’s.

Dianna does look miserable but I do think it’s interesting they seem to be making an effort to hang out on the two year anniversary of their public (perhaps private as well) first meeting.

Dianna tweets about the concert the next day:

September 6, 2013 - Taylor plays Speak Now as the surprise song on the Red tour.  Interesting given the timing of Dianna and her new boyfriend being public just one week before this.

September 8, 2013 - Taylor plays Sad, Beautiful Tragic for the first time ever live and gives this speech:

"I kind of feel like playing a song I've never ever played live before. This is um a song that I wrote about how you know just because something's over doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly beautiful. Cause another lesson I've learned is not all stories have a happy ending and you have to learn how to deal with that. So this is a song about a story that didn't end so happily but was still supposed to happen. This is called Sad, Beautiful, Tragic."

I don’t think this song was originally written about Dianna but I do think at this time while they stumble through the last phase of their relationship Taylor was inspired to sing it.

October 2013 - Taylor writes I Wish You Would, a song inspired by an ex who had recently bought a house near her driving past her house.  It’s thought to be about Harry but Harry didn’t buy a house in LA until March 2014.  But of course we know Dianna did buy a house near Taylor’s in LA earlier this fall.

November 11, 2013 - The music video for “She’s Just Another Girl” premiers starring Dianna looking stunning in high fashion drag, dressed up as the lead singer, and lip syncing the words to the song:

Some lyrics to the song include:

All of my friends say I should move on She's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard And all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be And it's a great big world, she's just another girl

I could be reeling them in left and right Something's got a hold on me, tonight Well maybe all of my friends should confront The fact that I don't want another girl

I think it’s at least possible that Dianna was drawn to this project because the lyrics resonated to her given what she was going through with Taylor at the time.

November 12, 2013 - Day of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show rehearsals and Dianna posts this (now deleted) picture:

November 13, 2013 - Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show where Taylor performs and Karlie Kloss walks the runway.

Dianna posts this picture (now deleted) of her at Emma Stone’s birthday party from 11 months previous:

It’s likely she’s looking at Taylor in this photo who was seated across from her.

It’s a very random picture to post.  It wasn’t titled as a throwback and it wasn’t an exact year after the picture was taken (prompting some kind of happy birthday shout out to Emma Stone or anything) - just a random picture of Dianna smiling, likely at Taylor. 

November 17, 2013 - Dianna posts a (now deleted) photo about missing someone:

November 21, 2013 - Taylor posts lyrics from a hopeful love song about a troubled relationship:

Lyrics:

December 9, 2013 - Dianna listens to Pale Blue Eyes

Lyrics are about being emo over a lost love with Blue Eyes:

Sometimes I feel so happy Sometimes I feel so sad Sometimes I feel so happy But mostly you just make me mad Baby, you just make me madLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Thought of you as my mountaintop Thought of you as my peak Thought of you as everything I've had, but couldn't keep I've had, but couldn't keep

Linger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

If I could make the world as pure And strange as what I see I'd put you in the mirror I put in front of me I put in front of meLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Skip a life completely Stuff it in a cup She said, "Money is like us in time It lies, but can't stand up" Down for you is upLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyesIt was good what we did yesterday And I'd do it once again The fact that you are married Only proves you're my best friend But it's truly, truly a sinLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

December 11, 2013 - You know the drill...Dianna posts a now deleted photo to Instagram:

December 13, 2013 - Dianna posts an attention grabbing photo on Taylor’s Birthday

Conclusions - Swiftgron very clearly goes through a rough breakup due to being outed. 

Then they attempt some sort of reconciliation - even hanging out (date night?) on the second anniversary of their Fairfax Flea Market meetcute, but it goes wrong.  

Taylor is on tour for much of this time and Dianna is posting angst ridden and peculiar Instagram posts exactly at the time Taylor meets Karlie.

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