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deepwoundsandfadedscars · 1 month

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#today is essentially my first day driving combine this year since my 'first day' was only like an hour and a half long almost two weeks ago #but of course my first day we're harvesting the field that was the last one we did last year 'care free'#one year ago today was the last time i saw my sister #and tomorrow will be one year since we harvested this field and afterwards we went home for dinner #and while refueling equipment after dinner my brother in law went to see if my sister felt up to running grain cart for us that evening #and he found out she wasnt home and nobody had heard from her all day #so that was the evening of the 16th and we didnt find her until the morning of the 18th #it was probably somewhere around noon on the 16th when she killed herself #and it just wrecks me cause i can remember exactly what i was doing that whole day #like someone here sent me an ask about whumpy music so i spent hours that day compiling a playlist to share here #and i was talking with a friend (in a group chat that consisited of me my sister and our friend) about their zucchini harvest #and another discord server i was gushing about it being the new moon in a Blue Moon month plus the persied meteor shower #and the whole time i had no idea my world had already shattered without me knowing #it makes me hate this field and i hate that even with the way we rotate crops every year it still came up ready this week #probably would've been worse if it came up on the 16th again but it's not much better being on the 15th

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safyresky · 8 months

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Scrimbly Jacqueline 6/52 as per this poll's (current) results:

This dress gives MAJOR frolic vibes and DOES end with Jacqueline frolicking through the Western province's meadows and, y'know, maybe accidentally lightly frosting up the blooms which leads to. Well. This:

Scrimbly Aunt Spring!!! I'm very proud of her, lol. She's so ANGY I'm CACKLING, VERY proud of that expression >:)

EDIT: APPARENTLY I CLICKED POST BEFORE YEETING MYSELF INTO THE SHOWER INSTEAD OF SAVE DRAFT ?? WHOOPS. ETA LINKS AND THE FUCKING. PHOTO I SAID I ADDED THEN DIDN'T. GAH. PLZ REBLOG THIS VERSION 💀💀💀

The filter I chose for purposes of scanning and sharing does NOT do the colours justice, the greens ARE different shades and the yellow on her hands is more green too lmao. I am working with LIMITED COLOURS. I've had to bring pencil crayons into the mix 😂😂😂😂. That's why the scrimbly jacquie isn't bright/crisp!! camscan refused to pick up the pencil crayons :(

But I've learnt that the oven light is PRETTY ALRIGHT.

I had some other colour options for Jacqueline's dress:

I went with the usual blue, of course, but these guys were TEMPTING. Some ACTUALLY scrimbly Jacquies for y'all since uh, my scrimbles are more like proper doodles???? Not changing THAT tag tho lol.

SO YEAH. HAD A DREAM AGES AGO THAT INVOLVED JACQUELINE AND BLAISE VISITING A SCHOOL AND ENTERTAINING KIDS WITH CS STORIES?? My actual dream, to have CS be an actual book with so much RANGE actors go to schools dressed as the characters and bring joy to children (it's me I'm actors I WOULD get my own Jacqueline costume and spread the joy 💃🏻😎💕❄️)

Here's the uh, scanned and filtered version for purposes of colour lol. Which is apparently a thing I will be doing with the scrimbles now!!

Learning to use the markers has been FUN.

ANYWAY!! ENJOY MY TERRIBLE ATTEMPT AT THE DRESS!! 💕

#dani doodles #scrimbly jacquelines #cs posting #crystal springs #it looked a bit different in the dream??? but it was a haute minute ago tbh #the sleeves are like. the lil indents are holes??? idk the porper word but they're gaps!!!#and the light blue is the sleeve below it!!#GOD CAN'T BELIEVE I POSTED THIS ACCIDENTALLY. HOW DID I EVEN DO THAT???#there is a lesson here kids. the lesson is. dont edit a post on mobile before popping over to the bathroom to shower #anyway.#tsc #jacqueline frost #idk what usual tags i use?? i am too boggled by the accidental post #I WAS JUST THINKING AFTER I SHOWERED AND MOISTURIZED AND DID MY LIL MANI PEDI #HMM. IS 11 O'CLOCK TOO LATE TO POST THIS???#NOT AT ALL. BC APPARENTLY IT WENT UP TWO HOURS AGO #I'VE. BECOME SO NUMB!!#anyway i'm excited for this month's jacquelines!!!!#a frostmas AND a diteline cuddle???#frosmas is beating diteline rn but since next week is valentines diteline will probz go up #THEN frostmas #even tho y2 will be on ao3 the day before lmao #then hopefully cute married diteline with kids oneshot!!!#FINGERS CROSSED #AND DW CS IS BEING WORKED ON. SLOWLY.#i'm on the last scene with the cold front and i 🥺🥺🥺

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fractallogic · 3 months

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Also I wish my brain turned on before like, 10-11 PM. Why does my motivation to do things spike when I have to go to bed. Usually this is when I want to clean or do dishes, so I guess at least this time I want a cup of tea and a nice book?? Heading in the right direction??

#but I can’t because I brush my teeth immediately after I shower #and I can’t have anything after I brush unless it’s water or peppermint tums #or in case of emergency a piece of bread (plain)#ugh I’m so tired of my brainnnnn why can’t it have wanted a cup of tea and a book an hour ago

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doctorwhoisadhd · 5 months

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cruel that i have to like get out of bed and put clothes on

#ari opinion hour #i dont want to wear a shirt fucked up #oaugh #maybe ill shower thatll wake me up #shower actually sounds nice but on the other hand when i stood up a little while ago to go take my excedrin after i was standing for a bit #it (the migraine) suddenly hit really hard and it was like AUGH #so what if i just. Did not stand up again. i dont actually care that much im used to migraines my tone here is one of mild annoyance #due to 1) being used to migraines and 2) ADHD consequence object permanence (aka lack thereof). My head does not hurt now therefore it will #never ever hurt more than it does currently. Which coincidentally is why i play piccolo willingly despite it being my number 1 most #confirmed (only confirmed) trigger. that and i like it and its a fun challenge and im pretty good at prevention at this point

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sluttyten · 2 years

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I really need to stop doing the thing where I say “oh I’m just gonna take a little nap”, and then I wake up like 4-5 hours later

#because it’s currently 8pm and I just woke up #and it was the kind of sleep where I woke up thinking that it was already morning #and I have to be up in like 8 hours so now I’m gonna be awake for another few hours and then fall asleep again for probably like 4 more hour #my sleep pattern is fucked up 😂 because I’ll do this and then try to force myself the next night to go back to a normal sleep time #so on weekday nights when I have to be up at 4 in the morning I’m staying up late til like midnight but in weekend nights when I can stay up #and sleep in the next morning I’m crashing at like 8 or 9 on and waking up at 5 in the morning. like wtf me #but I just lay down after my shower to watch tiktoks and then I was gonna get up and eat #but that was 5ish hours ago and somehow I fell asleep

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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year

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HEY IM A FATHER NOW LOOK

This is my beautiful daughter Salem she's insane and I love her

#shes sleeping on my chair rn #mad creature #my first ever cat!!!!!!#so far the biggest pet ive had was a rabbit and that was years ago #im like #going wild #shes so cute #really hyperactive but i mean shes young so shes just gonna be like that #i came home like around 2 and a half hours ago and in this time we played a lot #and also she pissed in the shower #(she knows how to use her litter box) (she used her litter box properly right after) (she looked at me while pissing) (in the shower)#my stupid baby #everyone look at her #bee buzz

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mxwhore · 8 months

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siiigh

#grandma...#my dad got here pretty early and i got here like one hour ago #she saw me busting my ass trying to get everything ready for the workday (rip) tomorrow and now that after my shower scolded me because #i didnt clean and made the bed for him #sis he has been here sitting all day. i literally woke up to an explosion #god forbid men do anything #anyway my dad is chill about it. its just grandma calling me a bitch #my back is in my hand after carrying that beautiful baby around all day. fuck off

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carbonateddelusion · 1 year

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I hate having my routine interrupted. if you interrupt my eat breakfast and watch minecraft time I will kill you

#i like when things go a certain way i like planning out my day and when things don't go like they're supposed to or someone comes home a-#few hours late it destroys EVERYTHING #right now my brain is locked up because i'm trying to get myself to mow the lawn #but if i mow the lawn i'll get dirty and sweaty #and i bathed yesterday so that means i can't bathe again today #but also i can't wait until tomorrow. do you see it do you understand #the lawnmower was broken a little bit ago and i didn't shower for a week because i can't until after the lawn is mowed.

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justadreaminghufflepuff · 2 years

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Can someone please tell me why my upstairs neighbors decided to start a woodworking project

at

MIDNIGHT??!!!?!

#personal #mild rant #it is now one am #and this freaking genius decided to start sawing and drilling an hour ago #why are people like this #I won't even wash my diahes or shower after 9pm #because you can hear the water in the pipes throughout the whole building #yet this fool uses power tools at midnight #I just want to sleep

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onyourstageleft · 1 year

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im swearing off edibles I was so high last night that I laid in bed scrolling tumblr nonstop for almost Three Full Hours

#happy 4/20 #what did your tumblr screen time look like yesterday #i would like to add that i took this edible at like 1pm #my partner had an equal portion of edible at the same time #my other partner got home from work at like 4:45 #we went to take a 'NAP' at 5:45 #i woke up a little after 9pm #and was SO. HIGH. that i could not get up #i laid on my side of the bed next to my sleeping partners for nearly three full hours just scrolling nonstop #i have timestamps on btw #i got back to 18 hours ago on my dash #tumblr didn't crash on me once im so proud #anyway i hit my screen time limit like 10 minutes before midnight #that's the thing that jolted me out of my stupor #anyway i woke my husband up and we ate cereal on the couch at like 12:15 #my girlfriend did not wish to eat and simply laid in bed #went back to bed and then got up at 7 to work my 8 hour shift #pretty sure i didn't feel like a person until i showered after i got home from work today

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feralhorror · 1 year

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AuDHD feels

Woops

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bibleofficial · 2 years

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my brother is being so weird like leave me out of it !!!! i mean he’s having an emotional breakdown or smthg idk but why’s he bringing it to ME !!!! take it to SOMEONE ELSE mr. MONEYBAGS !!!! what do u want from ME !!!! take ur own advice & ‘get over it’ !!!

#diary #like ‘it’s all in ur head !!!’ like yea buddy now u don’t like that it’s in URS huh #wish i cared !#go DRINK ALONE like an ADULT #or do other DRUGS #like sorry i’m spending all my money on drugs & i love it #not him going ‘i love u’ ‘i’m happy that we’re siblings’ girl STOPPPP the DRAMAAA #shut the fuck up !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m not payed enough for this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he’s like ‘wow work is so tough’ bro u play video games for 6 of the 8 hours u are on the clock #what do u WANT FROM ME !!!!!!!!#i’ve been live typing this since he’s come to bother me #‘do u ever overthink’ what are we 12 i swear to god if he doesn’t threaten to kill himself im going to put my head through a wall ur a grown #he keeps talking abt ‘when u used to go to therapy’ like yea when i went to therapy after telling our father that he was the reason i kept #wanting to kill myself #like nearly 10 years ago & haven’t been back since like 2018 😭😭😭#like if u want to go to therapy do it on ur OWN TIME #bro it’s been like 20 minutes i’m so fucking mad i was going to rest by eyes for 45 minutes before showering but he’s eating up like half of #it & i still have to fucking shower #i’m fumin #the way i’m just laying on the couch silently minding my own business full resting bitch face staring at my phone while he sits on the stool #w his head in his hands like girl get a GRIP #go do this BY URSELF ALONE IN UR ROOM #LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE IN THIS WORLD #like oh my GOD #if i can do this ??? if i can unhealthily stuff my emotions in myself while relying solely on nicotine caffeine & thc constantly so i can’t #focus on anything in my head :3c #SO CAN U !!!!!#develop REAL addictions douche bag !!!!!#the way he’s saved this shit to pull for MY spring break like ok #so i just can’t fucking enjoy anytbing

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fractallogic · 1 year

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I don’t want to go to work, I want to read the library book that just came in from my holds list

I want to go to the bookstore and find every book by T. Kingfisher and buy them all

Maybe I’ll go to the gym, shower, eat dinner, and then see how I feel about nosing around in B&N tonight. Or maybe I’ll just do the first three. Idk! Who knows.

#I did the thing where I started this post and then forgot about it and left for work #so I am actually on campus rn #I just told my computer to run updates (THREE HOURS AGO) and it’s finally restarting #annnddddd I didn’t bring my tablet and I don’t want to read #anyways #I’m really looking forward to gym and dinner #I remain so glad that I am finally going to the gym again #it just feels Good #even if it’s an additional layer of complexity re: work and getting myself to places to do things #like today I was definitely having trouble deciding whether to go before or after campus #(but then I remembered that I wanted to have the chance to perhaps run on the elliptical and there’s no way I could NOT go home and shower #right after that)#but yeah actually. I’m enjoying the idea of maybe getting some books after dinner #just depends on how POOPED I feel later #and oh no look at that the computer has restarted and I only have ten minutes left before I want to leave #OH it’s not even done never mind. good thing I was more or less at a stopping point. good work updates #I’m gonna give it a tumblr scroll and if it’s not done then I’m leaving

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ollie-jpg · 2 years

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i swear my sister has a fucking sixth sense she KNOWS every time this happens to me and i know she knows cuz of the way she talks to me

#there’s a difference between our regular conversations and the ones where she’s checking up #i don’t know how she knows i never tell her #the first time i ever thought abt truly dying was when i was a sophomore in high school #lizzy was in 8th grade i think #i don’t know how she knew i was having a rough night but after she showered she came into my room and said ‘see you tomorrow. love you.’#and that was the most earth shattering yet grounding thing i had ever heard in my entire life #i still remember it vividly #anyways #she texted me half an hour ago #and it very much has a ‘hey just wanted to make sure you’re okay’ vibe to it #now i’m crying again ejdjcjjdhd #ollie talks

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orcelito · 18 days

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Forgot I washed my towel when I did laundry yesterday so I got out of the shower and was like "..... 🧍‍♂️" bc No Towel hflshfksj

Anyways I had to go fetch the towel from the clean laundry Wet Feet Style aka there's water all over my floor. Such is the risk when you live alone.

#speculation nation #finally got myself to shower and im starting the ramen #decided to make it after all #i am phenomenally not hungry given how ive only eaten two bread rolls since i ate breakfast. 15 hours ago.#eating anyways. gonna have some nice eggs in my ramen. mmmm #i might not feel hungry rn but i'll be grateful for it later.#need to not stay up too late. ive been in a weird mood tonight. but tomorrow can still be okay.

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 3 months

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Absolutely rude that sleep would definitely fix me, but my sickness is keeping me from sleeping!! Fuck this!!

#im sick!! coughing. sore throat. no voice. body aches. hard to breathe #its miserable. im taking ibuprofen mucinex and cough drops constantly #but the coughing is so bad it keeps me from sleeping. lack of sleep is Not helping #i bought nyquil yesterday and i think that helped but unfortunately. nyquil is nasty #however i think it knocked me out so i will just rinse it down with mtn dew #i think half of my bosy is sickness and the other half is four different medicines. theres nothing else inside of me #since i cant sleep and trying is frustrating. but i know laying down and resting is better than nothing #ive started listening to the magnus archives again #i stopped after like ten episodes. awhile ago. because it was making me anxious and the vibes werent right #but then the woman i have a crush on spent like half an hour telling me about it. she told me about the season finales and such #she was so passionate and seemed to love it so much that i decided to listen again and tbh im vibing #its a good time. just pop in my earbuds before bed and listen to an episode like its a bedtime story lol #it was unfortunate when i listened to like five episodes and then had to walk through the dark forest #woth no light to go shower. that was ideal #anyway please pray for my recovery. i am in hell with this sickness

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