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rinniessance · 5 months

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BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE ༊*·˚ - leon kennedy x fem!reader x satoru gojo

leon kennedy has been announced mia after 24 hours of no contact. high brass doesn't care that you only came back from a mission a day prior, injured no less. when you're dispatched to spain, the last thing you expect is to get a special kind of rescue mission.

this is my entry for @rinhaler's gaming collab - MASTERLIST 🎮

꒰ warnings: nsfw - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ resident evil au. kind of following the plot of resident evil 4. aphrodysiac sex, unprotected sex, pet names (it's my staple <3), oral sex (f receiving), slight dacraphyllia, squirting, two dicks in one hole, cream pie. forgive me if i forgot any tags ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.8k ꒱ ꒰ notes: we love pure self-indulgence in this house .ᐟ.ᐟ tagging @mymegumi and @lilacliliess because they support my delusions about fucking two blue eyed men:3 ꒱

it’s been uneasy 24 hours in the D.O.S headquarters – ever since leon kennedy stopped responding to any attempts at communication, he’s been announced MIA this morning. given the sensitive mission of retrieving president’s daughter, the urgency to dispatch someone for another rescue is being pushed by the high brass, sending everyone on a search to find an agent capable enough of handling the job. as it turns out, out of dozens of people working in this forsaken organization, you’re the only one qualified.

“are you shitting me, hunnigan? i just came back from the mission last night. did you not see the stabbing wound?” for dramatic effect, you raise your t-shirt, showing freshly bandaged area where the deep cut resides. coming into the work this morning, the most stressful part of your day was expected to be the tons of paperwork you would’ve had to go through – yet as soon as you stepped into your office, you were greeted by leon’s handler, bearing the news from your superiors.

“sorry, you know it’s not up to me. whatever the president says goes.”

“are there literally no one else in this entire building who can be ordered to go instead?”

slumping over your desk, you put your head on top of your folded arms – it takes everything in you not to scream. your own mission was already problematic enough: bioweapon developers have become exceptional in making new B.O.Ws deadlier and deadlier, and knowing leon’s resume, there is a very high chance he was sent to deal with the worst of it.

“you’re one of the few partners kennedy has had while working for D.O.S. you know how he operates; it makes sense they are sending you.”

you know there is no point in arguing – if it’s been decided by the president, you have no choice but to go. it doesn’t mean, however, you can’t be irritated by the whole situation.

“do i at least get paid overtime?” you sign with exasperation, sulking deeper into your chair, hearing hunnigan let out a breathy chuckle.

“maybe if you bring golden boy’s ass back in one piece.”

“great. can i at least go home and make sure i didn’t leave the kettle on or something.”

“you’re not getting out of it, agent,” she says with a smile, and you can only groan. leon will be paying for all your meals for the next 6 months. “the helicopter is already waiting, actually, so you better gear your ass up and head to the helipad.”

“more amazing news.”

hunnigan only pats you on the shoulder – nothing she can say will make this situation suck any less – and leaves the room, letting you wallow in your misery.

“can you just fucking die already?” you yell in pure annoyance, trying to shoot the same person for the third time (you aren’t sure you can call these things human anymore). when the creature finally goes down, hopefully once and for all this time, the view in front of you is grotesque: hideous tentacle sprang out of the poor man’s head when you shot him between the eyes; it keeps moving, taunting you to waste more of your ammo. still holding onto your gun, you cautiously approach the body, slightly poking it with your boot – it doesn’t stir anymore. a sigh of relief escapes your lungs.

“just what the fuck is going on here,” you quietly mumble to yourself, looting any useful items nearby.

you arrived in spain this morning. surprisingly, leon made it easy enough to retrace his steps – he stopped by the local law enforcement which in turned let you know two of their men also went missing after they escorted kennedy to the area of interest. no one volunteered to come with you once you acquired the location of the small village somewhere north of here – apparently people have been going missing in the mountains for a while now – which was fine by you. everything you needed was the car you could use, and you were on your merry way.

in your 5 year long career as a government agent, the kind working in anti-bioweapon divisions, you’ve seen a multitude of… monsters, for lack of a better word. nothing could’ve prepared you for what you’ve witnessed when you arrived at your destination though: villagers turned into something sinister, creatures with no will of their own. you noticed it right away: their bulging veins pulsing with black viscous liquid, eyes shadowed with madness. what a surprise it was that when you finally started shooting them (hey, they started it), mandible-like limbs, shape closer to tentacles, with eyes growing out of them, erupted from their dead bodies, as if a swarm of crazy cultists wasn’t already enough.

you quickly glance at the still convulsing body on the ground, parasitic tendrils clinging onto their last living seconds; just looking at it makes you want to vomit. the smell of puss, heavy in the air, doesn’t help your desire to empty the insides of your stomach. you do not know what causes them to mutate, and you make a note to avoid any unknown substances – you also log a mental check not to get bitten by one of them (just in case).

after escaping a village, getting access to this stupid castle trying to find stupid stupid leon kennedy (you’re sure that what s. in leon s. kennedy stands for), you overheard some of the cultists talking about two prisoners on the basement level. leon and ashley? the goal now is to figure out how to get to the basement (and why does it always have to be the basement).

with careful precision, you finish analyzing the room you found yourself in – it’s a storage space of some kind, and nothing about it is particularly helpful to you. letting out a deep sigh, you sit down to re-collect your thoughts. wandering around this castle with no purpose will only stall you further – and time is something you do not have luxury of wasting.

just as you were about to get up from the chair, you knee bumps into something underneath the table. bingo. you quickly try to search for a keyhole or a puzzle piece to fit in to open the hidden compartment. but the gods are smiling down on you today – it only takes a simple click of a lock for the secret drawer to unlatch. before opening it, you stand to the side (the gunshot wound would mean deaths of all parties you’re trying to get out of here), and slowly push it forward with the knife.

“no way.”

the gods are smiling down on you– inside the drawer you don’t find a loaded shotgun, a poisonous smoke or anything else aimed at taking you out. instead, you find yourself looking at the map. something akin to relief makes your hands tremble as you unfold the treasured piece of paper, looking at the building blueprints, as fresh as if this was drawn yesterday.

tracing the way down to the basement level, you try to decide the easiest and shortest way. some of the rooms might require a key, deducting it’d be smarter to stick to the main rooms which are less likely to be locked. shoving the map back into your side bag, you reload the gun and slowly leave the room, looking for any signs of being followed. making sure the coast is clear, you start your way down.

leon, you better be still fucking alive.

leon wakes up from another torturous nap. he doesn’t know how long it’s been: could be 2 days, could be a week. to keep his sanity, he keeps trying to count the meals they bring them, figuring out the passage of time. why is salazar even feeding them? they’d worth more to him dead.

“good morning, sunshine.”

leon groans as soon as he hears the voice coming from his side. he doesn’t need to turn his head to know that satoru gojo is, despite the circumstances they found themselves in, still smiling.

“god, do you ever stop talking? they should starve you,” leon sighs heavily, and leans against the wall. his arms hurt – they have been cuffed to the ceiling this whole time, and the constant chatting from his unwanted companion makes this situation ten times worse.

“oh, common, don’t you have faith in your government? or you’re not important enough to rescue?”

“i might not be but the girl definitely is.”

it seems to shut satoru up, even if for a moment. his comments did make leon wonder if the headquarters organized the search party yet – more time they spent here means more time for the cult leaders to complete whatever it is they want with ashley. him and satoru have been infected with las plagas parasite too, their time is running short.

sighing deeply, gojo also slumps against the wall. both men can feel… whatever they were infected with moving inside their bodies, crawling their way into their brains. satoru is not sure what makes him and leon so special, but no signs of any infection have been visible yet. he wonders if it is a waiting game now: waiting for the moment they start losing their minds. what a sight that would be.

just as he was going to make another comment about their current predicament, both agents hear gunshots coming from the hallway, just outside the prison cells. blood curling screaming follows, rippling through the air, the unknown person emptying their clip into the guards until the room is engulfed in the oppressive silence.

to leon’s great surprise, and a great relief he must admit, it’s not a crazed guard running through the doors this time around – instead, two locked-up agents are met by your face. you hold your gun out, hand outstretched in front of you, ready to shoot the last remnants of the infected. it’s only when your gaze meets leon’s and you don’t identify any immediate danger, the gun is lowered, and you are rushing towards the cell.

“holy shit, it’s nice to see a familiar face,” leon cannot help but smile at the sight of you standing outside the cell bars, trying to break the lock.

“you won’t believe but the feeling is mutual. one too many mutated cultists, and even i started missing your ugly mug,” you throw back, returning his smile. your eyes move to gojo. “who’s that?”

“his partner.”

“no one.”

two men say that in unison, exchanging a heated glance afterwards.

“okaaaay,” you drawl out, “i don’t really care, you can bicker later. what we need to do it we need to get the fuck outta here like right now.”

you rush to uncuff the men with the keys you stole form the guards you shot earlier, and wait until they are able to push themselves on their feet.

“i am satoru gojo,” mysterious blond introduces himself properly, and extends his arm. you shake his hand and mumble your name back. you don’t know why but he makes you nervous.

“okay, all formalities for later. both of us are infected with that new plaga parasite, we need to extract it immediately,” leon interrupts the intense staring contest you entered with satoru, making you snap your attention back to him.

“well, then you’re in luck. i passed something that looked like a laboratory on the way here. it’s not too far either, only one floor up.”

“okay, great, no time to waste.”

kennedy steps out the room first, you and gojo following close behind. you’re on full alert – it doesn’t matter that you just took half of the castle down, somehow, new infected keep popping out like bunnies out of woodwork. it doesn’t take long the three of you to reach the desired destination, lab laying just behind the door straight off the stairs.

you cautiously look inside – no one seems to be here. after entering the room, you stand on guard while satoru and leon are looking for anything that might look like the cure. it seems that gods are smiling once again on you today because leon is able to find the last two vials of the vaccine sample. you have never seen him grinning so widely – it would’ve been almost heartwarming if not for the grim circumstances all of you ended up in.

before they can inject themselves with the medicine, the door swings opened and you’re thrown into the shelf, located on the opposite side of the entrance. multiple bottles with unknown substances fall on top of you, one of them breaking and infusing the air with a white powder. before you realize what happened, you inhale the mysterious concoction, immediately bursting into a coughing fit.

“fuck, are you okay?” leon yells your name somewhere from the side, and you try to wave him off. gojo is distracting whoever rammed through the doors, shooting the gun you presented him back in the prison cell. it takes exactly three more headshots for the mutated cultist to drop dead, and you’re pushing yourself off the ground and back on your feet. satoru is eyeing you suspiciously – you’re too busy brushing off your clothes and getting your breathing in order to notice.

“common, jab yourselves with the vaccine and let’s go, we have no time to lose,” you say with coarse voice. leon is also looking at you with worry but decides not to mention anything. both men inject themselves with the medicine, hoping and praying it’ll work, before rushing out of the doors and back on track to find ashley.

running through the corridors of the castle, you can feel yourself getting weaker – there is a sheer layer of sweat covering your spine, goosebumps are dancing on your skin, and a very familiar heat is pooling between your legs. your head feels heavy, you’re barely able to string two coherent thoughts together so you resort to slowly trailing after two men who haven’t stopped arguing about the next course of action.

“i don’t care what you came here for, satoru. i have my rescue mission that still needs to be completed,” leon sighs heavily as he pushes through the heavy doors into the next room.

“sure,” the other blond man quickly agrees, “but don’t you think you government would say ‘thank you’ if you helped securing the source of this outbreak?” gojo questions as he follows leon through the doors. you want to weigh your opinion in but before you can open your mouth, as you cross the threshold of the room, you trip on your own feets and send yourself flying towards the floor. the loud bang makes both men turn their attention back to you.

“god, are you okay?” leon’s by your side in mere seconds, supporting you by the elbow so you can get up. the waves of his body heat wash over you, and you want nothing more but to curl into his body and kiss the spot underneath his jaw. has he always been so handsome? you’re so concentrated looking at leon, you don’t notice satoru standing near you now. he touches your forehead, and it takes all of your willpower not to moan. fuck, his cold hands feel so nice on your feverish skin.

“shit, she’s burning up.”

“you think it’s because of whatever substance she inhaled back in the lab?”

“i don’t know, everything’s possible.”

two agents move you to sit on the table in the corner of the room – they can clearly see how foggy your eyes are, a layer of milky mist dancing across your vision – and leon’s fingers find your pulse point. this time, you are not fast enough to stifle the low whine that escapes your lips. at any other time, you’d be dying of embarrassment but now your body is begging for release, and you’re ready to do anything to get it. anything to soothe the ache building up in your throbbing clit.

“’m so hot…” you mumble as you start taking off tactical t-shirt, baring your sports bra to the two men in the room. “and it really hurts.”

satoru and leon look at each other before they look at you – kennedy will have to work with you in the future so he’s really trying not to look at your perky nipple, shape visible through the fabric, unlike gojo, who’s taking in your current condition with almost sick satisfaction.

“where does it hurt?” satoru asks before leon is able to butt in. as if wanting to confirm his suspicion, you take his hand and guide it to your sex, cupping it.

“here.”

leon is not even able to react before gojo is lunging forward and capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, making your head bang slightly against the wall. you let yourself moan into his mouth, satoru greedily claiming all the sounds to himself. it’s not nearly enough to pacify your accelerated heartbeat, but it’s still making you shudder. you’re spreading your legs to accommodate gojo’s tall frame – but before he is able to move any closer, he is thrown back by leon; loss of his warmth makes you whine.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” kennedy hisses through his teeth, moving away from you and towards gojo.

“what does it look like? don’t pretend like you don’t know this is exactly what she needs right now,” satoru spits back. you think they continue arguing but their voices are being drowned out by the ringing in your ears. heat spreading through you sets everything on fire, and your pants join your t-shirt somewhere on the floor in your desperate attempt to relieve yourself of this scorching feeling. your partner notices it and sharply turns to face you.

“what the hell are you doi-” before leon can finish his sentence, you wrap you legs around him and press your body into his.

“leon, please…” you sob, hot tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, beads of salty water wetting your eyelashes and blurring your vision. hearing your pathetic plea, voice thick with lust and desire, looking at your tears-stained face, mouth slightly agape, and watching your lips, red and messy from satoru’s kiss, glistening in the moonlight – everything about you now screams ruin me and leon is not a strong enough man to resist it.

“what are you asking me to do, sweetheart?” he whispers against your lips in a teasing tone. his switch is almost jarring but you don’t have the brain capacity to mull over his sudden mood change. he moves his hand between your legs now, touching your pussy through your panties. leon’s fleeting touch is sending shivers down your spine, and you culr yourself into him more, whining and panting against his mouth. “jesus, she’s so fucking wet already.”

“i told you, didn’t i? she needs someone to stuff her full of cum,” satoru’s dirty talk comes somewhere from the side. too distracted by leon’s deep blue eyes, gojo’s touch makes you tremble in surprise and turn your head towards him. looking at his face, you’re met by baby blues – it felt like being thrown from the ocean into the endless skies. you think men with blue eyes will be the death of you.

gojo leans down to capture your lips again, re-exploring the sacred geometry of your kiss, while leon is planting wet kisses along your jawline. you mewl in euphoric pleasure, their touches soothing to your burning skin, and you’re completely giving yourself away to the bliss rolling over you in waves. leon’s digits are teasing your clit through the fabric of your panties, and your hips instinctively buck into his hand, making him chuckle into your neck.

“she’s dripping, gojo. i bet she can take both of us unprepped,” leon says to the other agent, still busy with sucking on your lips, invading your mouth with his tongue. at his words, you shiver under men’s bodies, tingling sensation rushing through you.

“i want you in my lap, pretty girl,” satoru whispers against your lips, and you jump off into leon’s arms so the other man can sit on the table first. you move to climb on top of gojo, legs on either side of his thighs, ready to ride him, but your partner’s strong arm stops you from turning around.

“nah-ah, let him hold you spread open for me, i want to taste you first,” leon breathes against your ear, teasing the sensitive spot, making you quiver in his hold. you turn yourself towards gojo and see him grinning as he beckons you with two fingers to come closer. when you end up in his arms, he spins you around, his chest to your back, and makes you sit between his legs on the table, opening you up.

satoru’s masterful fingers unclasp your bra with ease while leon makes a quick work of your panties, shoving them into his pocket, unbeknownst to you. who knows how your relationship will work out after this – he needs something to remember this moment by. you are now sprawled completely naked for the two men’s hungry gazes: your cheeks are flushed, mouth shaped into a perfect “o”, short breaths escaping your lungs – you are truly a sight to behold. gojo wastes no time in cupping your breasts with his hands, trailing his lips on the side of your neck, sucking in hickeys as part of his claim.

kennedy gets on his knees in front of you, looking up into your eyes. gojo’s fingers are playing with your hardened nipple, making your hips buck upwards – right into leon’s mouth. his first languid swipe of the tongue comes just as satoru pinches your sensitive nubs, and you cannot help the pornographic moan escaping your lips.

“jesus, doll, who knew you’d sound so pretty,” it’s gojo’s voice against the shell of your ear, making you shudder. one of his hands keeps massaging your boob, twisting the nipple between his digits, while his other hand goes all the way down and spreads your folds for leon’s easy access. he hums in appreciation, and starts flicking his tongue up and down, drawing tight circles on your clit, sucking on it when he feels your legs tighten around his head.

agent’s movements make you squirm in satoru’s hold, dropping your head against his shoulder as leon continues eating you out. you’re absolutely incoherent now – your fever never dropped so your muscles are aching, toes curling in anticipation of the long awaited release, as you continue moaning through quick breaths.

“finger her.”

leon follows gojo’s command immediately, shoving his middle digit inside, while still lapping at your pussy. your walls clench against him almost instinctively, intrusion sudden but not unwelcome – he groans feeling the embracing heat of your cunt.

“fuck, she’s so fucking tight.”

gojo keeps your legs spread, you trying to close them around leon’s head as he keeps up his assault with his tongue. he’s nibbling on your clit, putting extra pressure with the tip of his tongue, licking it back and forth in quick succession, before flatting it to lick between your sticky folds, all the way down to the drooling hole. leon adds a second finger now, setting up a merciless pace – he is curling his digits in a heavenly way, able to hit the soft, spongy spot inside that makes you see stars and your pussy throb; you gasp loudly.

“i wish we had a phone to record this. you look so divine.”

you clench at gojo’s words, making leon groan. he’s now playing with your tits, rolling your nipple, tugging at them to add the painful sensation to the lit-up nerves. your desperate moans are bouncing among the walls, and gojo decides he wants to hear the squelching sounds of your pussy around leon’s fingers and his tongue’s wet sounds as he sloppily eats you out so he shuts you up with a kiss.

you feel your tummy begins tensing up as two men continue their ministrations: it’s satoru’s hot mouth on yours and his hands squeezing your tits, fingers playing with erect nipples; it’s leon’s tongue lapping at your pussy, precise circles on your clit and his digits scissoring you at a perfect speed, hitting the nerve bundle that rushes to send you over the end. your legs start shaking and you grab onto satoru’s arm around you to ground yourself.

“nnggh-…” you whimper into gojo’s mouth, and he finally lets you catch a breath. “’m so close,” you sob again, “’m gonna cum.”

“yeah, you want to cream all over agent kennedy’s face?” satoru taunts you from behind. “that’s so unprofessional,” he makes a tsk sound with his mouth and squeezes your cheeks to look at him.

“we’re feeling generous today, i think,” he quickly throws a glance down at leon, who only smirks as his tongue keeps licking and sucking at your clit. satoru looks you straight in the eyes as he slowly drawls his next words, “you may cum.”

the orgasm washed over you in glorious waves, rattling your entire existence. you’re scrunching your eyebrows, mouth agape with a sinful moan, as your thighs clasp around leon’s head. you’re quivering in gojo’s hold, his hands forcing your hips down, pressing them more against kennedy’s face. the latter doesn’t stop his onslaught, lips suctioning around the throbbing pearl, fingers still curled at earth-shattering angle. you try to move away but neither man lets you.

“uh-uh, where are you trying to run away? let him drink everything.”

and everything does leon kennedy drink – agent is lapping at your juices like a kitten at a fresh bowl of milk, now substituting his digits with his tongue as he keeps fucking in and out of your needy cunt. ministrations don’t stop, not even when your moans turn into little sobs as your body starts feeling overstimulated. your puffy clit is now ruined from satoru’s finger pads playing with it.

both men can feel your form shaking almost violently, gojo’s gathering your falling tears with his tongue. leon’s finally pulling his face away from your sex, standing up to look at your ruined state.

“god, i only ate her out and she already looks fucked out,” he chuckles to the other blond man, and moves to stand between your legs.

“let me taste her,” before you can react, gojo’s grabbing leon by the back of his head and capturing his lips in a heated kiss. trapped between a rock and a hard place, you can do nothing but observe the most passionate display of carnage you’ve ever witnessed – they were slobbering over each other’s faces, and it made your pussy clench around nothing. god, you can’t wait to fuck them both.

“she’s sweet, just how i like them,” satoru smirks against leon’s lips, turning his attention back to you immediately. “common, princess, you’re going to have to ride me if you want both of us.”

you’re quickly climbing on the table, straddling him. kennedy situates himself right behind you, warmth radiating off him like in suffocating waves. you’re trying to unbuckle satoru’s jeans to free his heavy cock, still trapped in confines of his boxer briefs, but leon smacks your ass, sending you forward into gojo’s embrace. it stings, the outline of his hand already forming a bruise, and you’d be mad if you pussy lips didn’t flutter at the slap.

“you’re taking too long, sweetheart,” you hear satoru, both men undoing their belts and zippers before you can, pulling out their leaking cocks. from your position you could only see satoru’s hard dick as he stroked himself near your aching hole, but what you’ve seen was enough to make you almost scared – gojo’s dick was long and blessed with a perfect curve, just upwards, one thick vein running prominently from the bottom of his shaft ending just before his mushroom head. you’re sure leon’s looked just as pretty.

“you haven’t said a word. you wanna ask nicely for what you want?” you hear leon behind you as he’s pushing you forward again, right into satoru’s chest, and teasing your waiting cunt with his thick tip – the mixture of his spit, your slick and his precum is dripping down satoru’s cock from where he’s positioned just underneath you, and the messiness of it all makes leon groan.

“please, i want your cocks inside me… please,” you sob out again, vocal cords heavy with tears.

“i think this will be our reward for saving us, how about that, huh?” there is a teasing tilt in satoru’s voice, and you grab at his shoulders, mewling like a needy animal in heat.

“yes, yes, anything,” you’re blabbering with teary voice, making men hard at the mere image of you: a capable agent reduced to a cock-drunk slut, an image that makes their cocks twitch.

leon grabs gojo’s member, giving it a couple strokes, surprising the white-haired man but hearing no complaints. his thumb is playing with the drooling slit of his tip, beads of pre-cum decorating the entrance to his flushed dick, and kennedy can’t help but smirk at how blissed out satoru looks. he’s guiding his heavy and red cock inside you, while his other hand rests on your waist. gojo’s forcing your hips down while bucking his up, and he fills you up in one long thrust.

“ah!” you cry out, biting your lip to the blood, metallic taste in your mouth almost overwhelming on top of the mix of pain and pleasure burning through your body. you’re whimpering into satoru’s mouth, while his hand is running soothing circles on your back.

“here you go, such a good fucking girl. taking me in so well, huh? all it took is one thrust, so perfect,” he’s blabbering against your skin as he starts sinking in and out of your sloppy hole. looking down, you can see the bulge in your tummy, and it makes you purr – you not only feel him splitting you in two, you are able to witness it. his reddened tip is meeting your cervix in a bruising kiss, and god, he’s making you fell so good.

you’re so lost in the rapturous sensation of gojo’s huge cock pushing against your gummy walls, you don’t notice leon’s presence behind you – he is grabbing your hips with one hand while his other is jerking his dick, prepping himself to enter you. his tip is near your whole when you finally realize what’s he’s trying to do.

“no! no, it’s too mu- ah!” he doesn’t let you finish before he start pushing himself inside, sliding alongside satoru’s heavy member, making the man grunt.

“fuck, feels so tight and warm,” you hear behind you as kennedy sets a punishing pace, sheathing himself into your abused hole. they are stretching you out to heavens, leon looking at your gaping cunt with pride. it’s fluttering and clenching around their huge cocks, your walls spasming in pleasure as their lengths are grinding against your soft spots. you can hear your pussy queefing, and the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin add to the dirty symphony.

“ngg, ngg- feels so, so goo-” you’re unable to finish your sentence as they keep bouncing you on their cocks, manhandling your body however they seem fit. you’ve never felt so full – both men keep drilling into you, like you’re no more than their little personal toy to play with. satoru grabs you by the back of your neck, biting at your lips, sloppily making out with you, while leon grabs your hair, forcing you back on his dick.

you can feel both cocks twitching inside you, approaching climax evident by their shallow breathing, moans hitching at every thrust of the hips. your walls are tightening around their cocks, and men’s whimpering and groaning is sinful to listen to, yet they are determined to make you climax first.

“common, gorgeous, cum around our cocks,” gojo hoaxes from underneath you. leon pushes your hips even closer into satoru’s body, your clit now grinding against his pubic bone, and it’s making you teeter on the edge of your bliss.

your bladder feels pressure you’ve never experienced before as gojo’s cock pressing against it from a perfect angle. leon is digging his fingers into the plush skin of your ass, rutting in and out of you, pushing against your back walls. all of your nerves are on fire, exploding fireworks in your brain, sending all your pleasure receptors into the overdrive. as your second orgasm washes over you, you’re left trembling in the men’s arms, leon’s chest against your back, your sweaty tits against satoru’s broad front.

“that’s a good girl, look at how cock-drunk you are,” you can hear them chuckle between themselves, not slowing down for a second. leon can see the white creamy ring enveloping the base of his cock in a soft embrace – it’s making him lose last of his slipping composure as he starts thrusting extra hard, thus speeding gojo up.

you bounce like a rag doll on top of gojo, having no semblance of control, being completely used by two agents. the pressure in your bladder comes back, and you throw your head back – your body continues quivering uncontrollably as you start sobbing again, tears drawing salty rivers on your cheeks, result of your body riding into stimulation. before you know it, something warm and so fucking wet starts gushing out of you. you want to look down, but men react first by groaning, voice impossibly thick with lust and awe.

“fuck, baby, didn’t expect you to squirt this much. so fucking filthy, i bet you waited to do this the whole time,” gojo grunts from underneath you, and you can only purr in response. it only takes couple more thrusts before leon and satoru synchronize their orgasms, shooting the ribbons of cum inside your womb, painting it pearly white, fucking it in warm and cozy. the squelching sounds ricocheting among the walls are nothing but sinful, and your cheeks flush red from the realization of what just transpired.

as both men pull out of your abused, stretched out hole, the combined mixture of all the fluids trickle down your thighs, making you groan in disgust. now that aphrodisiac has been fucked out from your system, you can’t even bring yourself to look them in the eyes. you hurry to pick up your clothes, but your legs give out underneath you – you’d end up flat on your ass, if not for leon who caught you mid fall.

tension in the air is palpable, electricity dancing on your skin is able to set everything on fire again. you’re ready to break the silence when satoru speaks first.

“you know, kennedy, next time you want to touch my cock, you don’t need to bring a woman between us.”

he leaves the room before either of you are able to force a reaction, and you wish you’d left both of them for dead instead.

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chesilitia · 13 days

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The Agent4Collab is here!

The collab could reunite over 100 different Agents 4 in one picture!

There are so many! You can see a quick gif with each tag below

And you can find the Google Drive with all the fullres pictures of the collab, along each contributor tag and a document crediting each one here ⬇️⬇️

Thank you so much to everyone who joined 🥰

#splatoon #splatoon art #splatoon oc #agent 4

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inthelittlewood · 9 months

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Hey Martyn! So, I got into your lore because of Grian's Life Series, and now I'm just trying to find some stuff out. Anyways, I understand most of it, though I do have a couple questions.

What actually are LOOT shards/crystals? I know that they're soke aort of corruption in games of sorta, but how do they get there, how to they affect the game, and also how to disable them. It's just something I'm wondering about since I know you have to find the one piece, of treasure, but how does it actually help?

What are CHEST agents? I know that they're something almost as evil as Cruppy, which is really saying something, but what actually are they?

Are there any extra lore bits in Rats SMP that you can't get anywhere else? I just wanna know if I should grit my teeth and watch it sometime, when I'm done catching up on the VODs of Pirates (can't make it to streams for personal reasons, alas).

If you've come up with it, is there any way that the Watchers lore from the Life Series ties into the datastream hopper lore? Those two just seem a little incompatible to me - hopping the datastream, being captured by mysterious godlike entities... Or are they just two separate universes?

Do you plan on posting the New Life streams on your vods channel?

Who in Pirates is p!Martyn closest to in each faction, overall?

Also, I think you may have mentioned it on stream, but did you take the faction quiz and if so, which faction did you get? I kid you not, when I took it I got Kestrels all three times (with changing the answers to stuff that I would still do, but different than first time, I mean). Had to change it up just to see all the different faction descriptions...

Ok, I think that's it. Sorry if I have bad formatting btw, I'm typing this out on phone. Thank you for taking the time to read my questions! Absolutely love your work and lore, while at the same time having the humour some don't. Keep on doing an amazing job. Hope you find your one piece, of treasure.

Have an ice day!

That's something I want to unveil in the next lore drop, so I'm really sorry to say SoonTM but this lore doesn't have all that many secrets atm

2. C.H.E.S.T agents work are avatars controlled by human operators working for C.H.E.S.T and its evil underbelly. They're a known and trusted public computing corporation but the public doesn't know the full extent of their goals and resources

3. I try to be pretty concise and unavoidable when I do my lore stuff, so you should be able to find the Rats segments in this playlist with ease: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3MFbfp1zo8dooC57HqfbizRoc07PdlFQ

4. Maaaaaaybe, people have noticed some parallels / links and all shall be revealed one day for sure, even if I'm like gonna quit doing videos and streaming, I'd just lore dump whatever isn't revealed so it's out there ha

5. A lot of my New Life streams are me just doing the grindy parts of the SMP and with the server being somewhat inactive I want to save the crossover / collab content for the videos - I'm not sure people would flock to a 3 hour vod of me painfully and slowly building an outpost or hollowing out a mountain to make a factory ya know?

6. Kestrels - probably Sausage, with Oli as a close second. Herons - Owen or Water. Owen has an inquisitive gene like Martyn and Water likes all things musical. Nightingales - Ros is so different to Martyn that it makes for some wholesome and chaotic interations, you never know which you'll get. Kites - Bek is basically the only one he's interacted with, he had a little banter on the seas with Kuervo but it was brief

7. I did! I surprisingly got Kestrel, or I guess, not surprisingly huh?

#itlwlore #piratessmp #pirates smp #scurvyblr #inthelittlewood

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chokchokk · 8 months

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choy's masterlist

"촉촉하다" [chokchok-hada] - be moist, be misty what to expect (wip) / in order : one night with ex!hongjoong; failed fling!wooyoung; failed confession!san; teacher!san; part 4 people pleaser series; "depart" for drive-by me; prince!yeosang; secret agent!mingi & cop!san ...

[ updated: 29/09/23 ]

ATEEZ ENSEMBLE | OT8

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞-𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐞 gangsters/mafia/organised crime | noir, smut, series

𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎? summer romance/flings | open collab, collection

PARK SEONGHWA

𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜 heartbroken kiss | hurt/comfort, suggestive

also featured in: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 [𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬], 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢

CHOI SAN

"𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫" friends with benefits | angst, fluff, smut

△ series / oneshots ▽

ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ! [request] first time with boyfriend | fluff, smut

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 (𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄) [request] drummer!boyfriend | fluff, smut

hard thoughts: possessive!boyfriend

also featured in: 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢

SONG MINGI

𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽, 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 work from home husband | fluff, smut

JUNG WOOYOUNG

𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎-𝚊𝚗𝚍-𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 one night stand with bff | angst, smut

CHOI JONGHO

soft thoughts: romantic!boyfriend

#촉촉 #masterlist #ateez masterlist #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez reactions

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ask-squidbeaks-agents · 1 month

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Agent 4, into the 4-verse

//Honestly- that would be such a good mass artist collab idea- everyone draw their Agent 4- Also these are just the two S2 mascots dressed as 4 I don't secretly have three agent 4s lol

#ask the agents #ask #agent 4 #splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #art

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krillvern · 2 months

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My Agent (or rather Captain) 4 for the Agent 4 collab on twitter!!! he's a silly 23 y/o not so little Giant Squid and Neon Flying Squid hybrid and he loves plants!!! he's aroace too!!! :D

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miss-atena · 7 days

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I have... so much I should do... BUT THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT IN MY HEART!!

That's right Guys, Gals and Enby Pals, I actually expanded on that one AOP x TWST post I did like, a month (?) ago. Fair warning: this is an Au in collab with @weirdcore-fantasy, my dear brother, as they were the one that managed to watch the RPG. I only read the rule book and the wiki... a lot actually.

Feel free to message/send asks for me so that Cris and I can expand the AU settings! Reblogs, Likes, Shares and everything tbh is appreciated! If you'd like to be tagged in the next installment, reply to the post or DM me and I'll add you!

all info under the cut

BASIC UNIVERSE INFO:

"The Paranormal doesn't come to our reality easily". Our reality and the paranormal reality, are almost paralleled, in a sense. They coexist, with same places being in the same location, but the way the world works is wildly different. WHile we follow the laws of physics and the rules of the matter, the Paranormal reality is not like that. Chaos, and absurdity thrives in that. Between the two worlds exists this force, called The Membrane. It makes our reality safe from the monsters and other horrors in the Paranormal side, also called Other Side. However, it can be damaged. Mostly by the Fear that people have. This fear breaks the membrane isn specific shapes, in which the paranormal takes to manifest in specific forms in our reality. Ordo Realitas is a secret organization, leaded by the mysterious Mr. Verissimo, in which their agents specialized in the Other Side fight against the evil and make sure the major population has no knowledge of it. The Other Side manifestates in 5 different "types" of beings and events, called the Elements of the Other Side. Element of Blood The Blood is the entity of Feelings. It seeks the intensity: pain, obsession, passion, love, hunger, hatred - everything envolving feeling an extreme emotion pleases the Blood Entity. The extreme feelings of Blood surpass the Knowledge's reason and calmness. Element of Knowledge The Knowledge is the entity of consciousness. Discovering, learning, knowing, deciphering. Having one's own perception of the Other Side and its entities pleases the Knowledge element. The reason and logic of Knowledge reintegrate and suppress the Energy's chaos. Element of Energy The Energy is the entity of Chaos. Everything that cannot be explained, the intangible, anarchy. The constant change, the heat and the cold, the light and the darkness. Everything that involves unpredictability and transformation pleases the Energy Entity. The Energy's transformation overloads the Death's effects. Element of Death The Death is the entity of Time. It seeks the lived moments, distorting the egocentric perception of each individual's existence for its own satisfaction. The temporal distortion of Death ruins the Blood's carnal perception. You may notice I've only touched 4 of the 5 elements. These are the elements that are able to penetrate our reality and manifest itself, as they have entities and relics in our reality. the fifth Element is the Element of Fear The Fear is the entity of the unknown and the infinity. Present since the dawn of humanity, it changes the nature of the universe. Its differentiated existence is a mystery. The Fear cannot exist as a beign or as a physical form. Anyone touched by teh Fear Element is someone transported to the place on The Other Side,The city that doesn't exists, the City of Tenebris.

BASIC STORYLINE INFO:

As common knowledge by those who fight the paranormal, Ordo Realitas has bases all around the world, as the fight against the paranormal is not something set in only one place. One of the branches is the Nycticorax or Night Raven branch. Where young prodigies, from all over the world, join into teams in training, with seemingly minor missions, so that they may learn how to be great agents. (All TWST cast is made into prodigies who, in some form or another, had contact with the paranormal, and due to their great skillsets, they were contacted to become agents in training.) (the characters, for the means of this au, are treated as if they were player characters made for the universe of AOP.)

CHARACTER INFO LIST:

In order of characters: DormLeader, Vice, and third to first years, based on book orders. In order of information: Name, Origin, Class, Class path and element of affinity.

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle as an Academic origin Specialist, as an Elite Shooter path with Affinity to Blood.

Trey as a Peasant origin Specialist, as a Field Medic path with Affinity to Knowledge

Cater as an Inventor origin Occultist, as a Flagelator path with Affinity to Death

Ace as an Athlete origin Combatant, as a Specil Ops path with Affinity to Knowledge

Deuce as an Athlete origin Combatant, as a Warrior path with Affinity to Blood

SAVANACLAW

Leona as an Abundant origin Combatant, as a Field Commander path with Affinity to Death

Ruggie as a Criminal origin Occultist, as a Flagelator path with Affinity to Energy

Jack as an Athlete origin Specialist, as an Elite Shooter Path with Affinity to Knowledge

OCTAVINELLE

Azul as an Academic origin Occultist, as a Graduated Path with Affinity to Blood

Jade as a Criminal origin Specialist, as an Infiltrator Path with Affinity to Knowledge

Floyd as a Criminal origin Combatant, as a Shock Troop Path with Affinity to Energy

SCARABIA

Kalim as an Artist origin Occultist, as an Intuitive Path with Affinity to Blood

Jamil as an Workman origin Specialist, as a Negotiator Path with Affinity to Death

POMEFIORE

Vil as an Artist origin Occultist, as a Graduated Path with Affinity to Knowledge

Rook as a Mercenary origin Specialist, as an Elite Shooter Path with Affinity to Energy

Epel as a Peasant origin Combatan, as an Anihilator Path with Affinity to Blood

IGNIHYDE

Idia as an Abundant origin Specialist, as a Technician Path with Affinity to Death

Ortho as an I.T. origin Occultist, as a Paranormal Blade Path with Affinity to Knowledge

DIASOMNIA

Malleus as an Abundant origin Occultist, as a Paranormal Blade Path with Affinity to Blood

Lilia as an Exorcist origin Occultist, as a Conduit Path with Affinity to Death

Silver as a Health Agent origin Combatant, as a Special Ops Path with Affinity to Knowledge

Sebek as a Mercenary origin Combatant, as a Shock Troop Path with Affinity to Blood

Uhm, let's count this part 1/??? parts, i want to expand more, but I need to buy an actual copy of the rule book to do it. If I do make more, it will probs be me and Cris doing Character Sheets for them, with the basic information. Or maybe next installment of AOP AU is gonna be a list of rituals the occultists do?

please tell me what yall would like to see next in this!

Tagging moots and besties: @consumeroflemoans, @raguiras, @althea-and-alcestris, @ang33333333l, @vanrouge13, @beelloonn, @coldabest, @erimelodii, @spookyavenuestreet, @notyourbaby-doll

#tena talk #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #tena ramble #tena writing #aop #a ordem paranormal #twst au #aop au #twst x aop #tena aus #dear moots <3

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sailorsplatoon · 2 months

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what does the rest of the splatoon think of 4 and acht dating

Before I start, here's a quick summary of the pronouns I'll be using for each of the agents:

Agent 8: He/him

Captain 3: She/her

Neo 3: It/It's

Agent 4: They/Them

Eight supports them 100%. He's an absolute sucker for romance and he got to see it blossom first hand since he was in the elevator when Four climbed the spire and whitnessed the two slowly fall in love. (If anyone reading this has no idea what I'm talking about, you can check out my post on it here.) Eight and Marina act as Acht's wingmen, trying to encourage them to confess their feelings for Four. (Pearl does the same for Four.)

Captain 3 is on edge around Acht. She remembers being controlled by Tartar vividly and is worried that Marina's Memverse plan might not have worked as well as she thought it did. When Captain was sanitized she couldn't do anything to fight it, so how could some code made it go away entirely? What if Acht is just trying to take advantage of Four having been greyscaled? What if they're plotting something malicious? Her suspicion never really goes away, but it does fade over time. Her main goal is just to protect those she cares about.

Neo 3 had never met Four before Side Order, so it didn't have any connection to Four. It and Four sort of become playful rivals and will often purposefully be on opposite teams in turf war and ranked matches. It likes Acht, but is a little bit afraid of them. It thinks Acht is really intimidating. Regardless, Neo 3 supports their relationship and likes to joke about how it's friend is dating a zombie.

Callie is just happy that Four found a partner. She'd been trying to set them up with someone for a while and is excited to see that they've finally found someone who makes them happy. She thinks it's cool that Acht is a musician and wants to collab sometime. She organizes a monthly game night amongst her friends and was very excited to invite Acht (against Captain's wishes).

Marie feels similar to Captain in that she's suspicious of Acht. Both her and Captain exchange paranoid theories about Acht's true intentions that gradually become more and more convoluted. As the two get to know Acht better and let their guards down, their theories turn into a running inside joke rather than real suspicion.

Cuttlefish is... trying his best. He can be insensitive at times by saying things like "You know I was almost put in the sludge that telephone used to control your partner." He doesn't realize that he's just bringing back traumatic memories for Acht and making it awkward for everyone else (especially since only Eight was supposed to be in the sludge, he was just sort of there). Four is trying to teach him not to say that kind of stuff.

Deep Cut, while not a part of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, would likely end up meeing Four and Acht since Marie is their boss. They're really competitive, especially Shiver and Frye. Frye will often say things like "You two may be big shots in Inkopolis but in Splatsville we're the kings. Don't forget that." in hopes of indimidating Four and Acht. Shiver will just give them mean looks. Four thinks it's super cool and Acht just finds it funny. Really Shiver and Frye feel thretened by the fact that Acht is a musician and they don't want Big Man working with a different artist again. Big Man is embarrassed by how they act and often aplogizes for them, despite the fact that Acht and Four don't mind.

I probably went into more detail for this than I had to, but it was fun! Thank you for the ask!!!

#side order #side order spoilers #acht splatoon #ahato mizuta #agent 4 #agent 4 side order #Dedfour #Acht x Agent 4 #asks #ask box

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mango-fizz · 1 year

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ALL of My Splatoon Agents Headcanons! lets gooo 💫 this will be VERY long akdhjsdhs sorry grab a cup of tea or something.

Agent 3 (Captain): They/Them, Lofted Bed with Desk underneath

Three doesn't talk very often, only when it's absolutely necessary. In Alterna, Marie mentions that they're too shy to really speak out loud, so she speaks for them, and I read once that selective muteness is a sort of extreme anxiety response. They don't really talk to strangers or people they're not very close to, for instance Neo 3, Off the Hook, or Deep Cut lmao. They definitely talk openly with the Squid Sisters and 4 and 8 (and of course, Gramps), but will usually prefer not to if it's not necessary.

They're super badass and responsible, always getting things done in an efficient manner and doing their best with every mission. I mean, how else do you think they became Captain, right? But they also might be a little insecure, a little anxious. Yes they do their best in missions, but that's because they desperately want to be useful, because they're worried something might go wrong, things like that. They even drop out of school to be an Agent full-time (again, Captain)

In regards to the other Agents, they're kind of stern and aloof, but more in like the tired oldest sibling kind of way. Don't eat that, don't go there, you'll catch a cold, etc, taking care of the newer recruits. They picked this up from Callie and Marie, who did the same for them when they first joined. Neo 3's reckless tendencies remind them of their younger self.

Now, I mention all of this in my fics, so I'll keep it brief. Three is reckless, always pushing themselves even when they shouldn't and regularly forgetting to take care of themselves (thats when they were younger, they're definitely better about it now). They carry a sort of guilt, a sort of anxiety, about the events of Splatoon 2, and I mean both of them. They feel bad for almost killing Eight like twice, even if the second time wasn't really their fault, and they feel bad for not helping Callie when she needed it, which is also not their fault. But, you see, Callie and Marie are their older sisters. Their family. A precious part of their life that they were lucky enough to obtain when they previously had nothing. So, yeah, I guess they feel a certain type of way about what happened.

Oh, also! Sanitization scar, yeah its there, maybe not as big as everyone else draws it but it's definitely there sjfhsjdhs on their forehead splitting their right eyebrow, it's a bit like a cut. It's covered by their Captain hat now, but even then the teal green has definitely dulled over the years. Now it's just a grim reminder and nothing more.

Three used to live alone in an apartment in Inkopolis that the Squid Sisters had generously offered them. Living alone is difficult. Thankfully, Four and Eight arrived, and now they're all roommates :)

Three is, again, a bit aloof n shit, always trying to be responsible and cool, but the younger agents are experts at cracking that facade. Three is actually super soft for them!! They definitely make jokes and snort at things Four says. Hums along with songs Eight listens to and compliments her poetry.

Three thinks they're a bit annoying, Four particularly, but they also always always always help them when they're sad, or hurt (not that it happens often, they're all capable agents after all). That's what older siblings are for, after all. Isn't that great? Three has 4 siblings now! And a gramps! I'm so happy for them.

I tried to keep this short but basically all my Agent 3/Captain feelings can be found in these two fics. I poured my heart and soul into them! [Family] [Home]

DJ Sango. I don't know what to make of DJ Sango but I'm eagerly awaiting the Squid Sisters collab. Agent 3 is the secret third Squid Sister, after all.

Agent 4: She/Her, Top Bunk

I feel like Four is more…… outgoing? She's the youngest and the shortest. She's the baby. She gets Eight to do stupid shit with her and then they both get (very fondly) lectured by Three. Sometimes she convinces Three to join in and then they all get lectured by Marie instead lmao. She's kinda……. like a gremlin. A Creature. She does her best :) She's trying so hard. She's very energetic. I think she would do her best to make Eight feel welcome and comfortable and make sure that she's having fun :))

Four didn't really understand, at first. I mean, what she went through doesn't even compare to what happened in the metro, yknow? She's definitely the most, how do i say, optimistic? She usually is the one who has to do most of the comforting, but she doesn't mind. Sometimes Eight has a nightmare, and Three and Four have to comfort her. Sometimes Three needs help with their head injury, so Four and Eight have to take care of them, and that's okay.

She likes helping people, and cheering them up. That's why she helped Marie in the first place, right? She just looked so sad in the corner of the Square... Four is happy that she was able to help :) Truly, they all appreciate it more than she knows. And of course, Four is besties with Callie and Marie. Four and Callie can match each other's energy easily sjfhsjdhsj and... she was there for Marie during her lowest point so... she's very grateful :)

In the time after getting Callie back, sometimes she would go and check up on them. It's not her responsibility, she's already done more than Marie could ever repay, but she cares about them, and... it's not like she has anywhere else to go.

She comes from the countryside canonically, and also didn't know who the Squid Sisters were, but for some reason I see her as being very streetsmart and things like that. Maybe she didn't know who the Squid Sisters were before, but she definitely does now, and bonds with Eight over their love for the idols.

A bit after they all moved in with Three, Marie made Four and Eight go back to school, bummer. (This matters to no one else but me, but the high school Four and Eight go to is the same high school Callie and Marie went to.)

Four is a natural athlete, but a bit of a troublemaker. After school she likes to go play turf and do a few Grizzco shifts. Imagine her surprise when she finds out about Mr. Grizz 💀

Four is very physically affectionate, always hugging or otherwise touching the other agents. Shoving, poking, patting, punching, holding, bonking, you name it. I've definitely projected that onto the agents lmao. I'm pretty sure I've made them bonk heads with each other as a form of affection like three times now.

If Four doesn't show up in Side Order, you'll never hear from me again on account of my spontaneous combustion.

Agent 8: She/Her, Bottom Bunk.

I feel like Eight would be generally more curious/nervous about everything since, I mean, she just got to the surface yknow? (also amnesia I think.??). Also, she doesn't know inkling very well, but that's okay, she's learning! Marina helps her :) (when Marina is busy, Shiver fills in 🤫) But, maybe by Splatoon 3 she's good enough at it that she doesn't need lessons anymore. I mean, it has been 5 years. Okay look I just want an excuse for all the Octolings to interact with each other is that too much to ask? But that's a bit difficult because Marina and Eight have more in common with their upbringing than Shiver, but that's a topic for another day.

Eight is just happy to be here!! She is incredibly strong, agile, and good with any weapon :) Think of Yor Forger. Very strong, sometimes without realizing it. A little clueless, a little silly. Red and black color scheme. As a result of this I think she would try to be very very gentle as much as possible, but she still enjoys playfully roughhousing with the other agents. She also makes a lot of goofy facial expressions. You'd think this would be Four, but no, it's her ksfhhfsdkfjh

So... the metro. Right. I think... Eight carries a sort of sadness with her. At least at first, right? It's... tough. Having to adjust to everything, losing your memory, coping with The Horrors tm. That's why she'll always be grateful to Off the Hook for offering her a place to stay at the Houzuki mansion during her first days in Inkopolis. Marina's been there, so she offers much comfort. Pearl also does her best to make her feel welcome and safe, like she did with Rina. Eventually she does go move in with Three and Four though because... because I said so ksfhjkfjhf

Eight is afraid of blenders. Autobombs.

It took a while for Three and Eight to really become... what's the word I'm looking for. Stable? I mentioned Three carrying unnecessary guilt. Eight doesn't hold it against them, of course not. But, I mean, have you seen that shit? I never played Inner Agent 3 but just watching a video of it has me awake at night dude that shit is scary as fuck. Three splashdowns in a row? Dear god. Anyway, they made up and it's chill now so it's fine. Still no blenders though.

Eight loves Off the Hook, and she loves the Squid Sisters. Calamari Inkantation and all that. Wait til she hears the banger of the century Ink Me Up dude that shit goes insanely hard. Actually, wouldn't it be so fucking funny if Eight came up one day like "Guys, I'm so obsessed with this song by a group from the Splatlands, they're called Deep Cut!" and then when Deep Cut show up as Marie's new employees she's like holy shit.

She goes to school with Four and it's the most fun she's ever had in her life (that she can remember), she doesn't understand why Four hates it so much. She's also obviously very naturally athletic, but she enjoys the arts and literature a lot more. Because she writes poetry lol 🤓

She's happy to stay an agent, I think. Maybe not on the front lines like Captain and the Squid Sisters are, but she's available as backup should she ever be needed. She wants to focus on her new life on the surface with her wonderful new family. She doesn't even remember if she had any parents, let alone friends. But now, she has all these people who care about and support her. For that, she would claw her way out of the Metro a hundred times over again. She loves them.

........So, Side Order, huh? Hehehehehe.

Damn. That's crazy.

Neo 3: They/Them, Living Arrangement Unknown

I think Neo being a gen Z kid is the funniest shit ever.

They're the hardest to think up a personality for, I don't really know what to make of them. I think they would be kind of epic, yknow? 🗿 They have no idea who any of these people are or what is happening, how did they even get into this mess bruh. Well, at least they get to hang out with Deep Cut so thats a plus. I think Neo and Four would get along the best, they both kinda have that chaotic energy, I feel. I would say Neo is like halfway between Captain and Four, personality-wise.

There's like,,,, a very vague botw Link vibe going on with them. Not sure though. I mean, look, they hang out in the desert and also have a salmonid for a pet. Like, what's goin on with all that.

They're generally very chill about everything that happened in Alterna (existentialism aside.)

"Why didn't I tell you that I went to space? Dunno. You never asked. 'S whatever. Yo, wanna see Little Buddy do a trick?"

~*~

I am holding you at knifepoint to watch this person's channel, because they deadass rearranged my entire brain chemistry (here is their twitter).

And also, this person's channel, because I greatly enjoy their agents content and it makes me giggle (here is their insta).

Both of these are important to understand how I came to characterize the Agents the way I do.

If you made it this far, I thank you profusely for reading!! These funny little guys mean a lot to me. Splatoon in general means a lot to me. Man. Damn. Fuck. I haven't even gotten into the Squid Sisters.

Anyway. Thank you so much. I hope you were at least entertained by my rambling and I hope you have a great rest of your day! I love you 💕

#thoughts #LONG post #and i mean long #splatoon #splatoon agents #agent 3 #agent 4 #agent 8 #neo 3 #damn #so yeah every time you hear me talk about the agents #thats whats going on in my brain when i do.#......more or less #i definitely missed some things but damn i gotta keep SOME secrets #[frodo voice] fine keep your secrets

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