#ah i wish she could have moved back here back when we graduated but shes working on her phd so i get it

[skrrts]

♡ the last day of summer (one-shot)

✧ college graduate reader x hongjoong ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, soft, summer, dating ✧ word count: 1,5k ✧ mentions: heartache, sadness

Reader and Hongjoong started dating about half a year ago after meeting in the local music store. Hongjoong works as a guitar teacher and Reader just graduated from college. Reader received a once-in-a-lifetime job offer abroad and decided to move there for one year. The two spend a sweet last summer day together.

Ever since you were little, you dream of moving across the ocean to a country where it is Summer most of the time, unlike the rainy town you grow up in. Your parents always supported your wish, especially when you move to another city to study so you couldfulfill your heart's desire.

The first day of college had been exciting; everything was new, and you are ready for it. Now that your dream is about to come true, you aren't so sure anymore. Why is it that this time, your heart is heavy and you question if maybe, wishes can change over time?

The reason for all of that is walking ahead of you, balancing the weight of the guitar on his back while holding your hand without ever letting go of it as he carefully leads the two of you up the hill.

Hongjoong is the one thing you had seen coming; you always consider yourself dedicated to the dream and not to fall in love like those lovesick college students in movies. Yet here you are, you have never been happier, never been sadder.

When you met the guitar teacher at the store, just browsing shelves to pass time before meeting with some friends, you already had received that job offer you always dream of: a one-year internship at an infamous company in Spain, a once-in-a-lifetime chance that could be the foundation of your entire career.

Hongjoong only moved back to his hometown then, just half an hour from the city. For a few years, he traveled the country with a few friends and their garage band before now settling down, teaching mostly children how to play the guitar.

His fair features and confident smile won you over within one week and before the two of you knew it, you were dating. You never met anyone as kind or attentive as the man who is just a few years older than you. Time flies by too quickly, every week spent together magical, and the day of graduation was a curse all of a sudden.

But the day you told him about the job offer, there is no sign of hesitation, only encouragement to go for your dream. Hongjoong said a year isn't too long, but the idea of being separated for so long was difficult for you, knowing neither of you has the budget to simply fly overseas to meet easily.

The proud faces of your parents, the hugs of farewells to your friends, all of that was done and the ticket waiting for you on your desk: tomorrow, you are to leave the country and with that, your love. You decided to spend the weekend together with Hongjoong in his small hometown, hence why you are currently dragged up a hill.

"Ah, we are really lucky with the weather!" Hongjoong smiles as you finally make it to the top. You cannot help but admire the view for a moment, nature untouched unlike in the bustling streets of the city with a small village in the distance.

A few large trees offer a welcoming shadow from the sun that is shining like she wants to mock you for saying that you need to go far away to see her more often. "It's beautiful," you finally agree with a smile.

Hongjoong lets go and looks around, opening his guitar bag to pull out a blanket he somehow managed to shove in there and places it on the floor, falling down and patting the side to invite you to sit with him. You do not hesitate and look into his face, swallowing as your breath finally relaxes from the hike up here.

He leans in, a hand placed against your cheek as if he knows what you are thinking. This is your last day, and it is beautiful here, but you cannot shake away the sadness.

"You do well walking here. I told you, you can do it! Once it's done, it's not so hard and the view really is worth it, isn't it?" It's his way of saying that he knows but he believes it will be worth it. There were a few occasions where you say you just would stay, cancel your plans but Hongjoong was right, what if you would regret it one day? Not because of him, just to see if it truly was your dream life.

"Well, you dragged me up here, I have no choice," you joke, leading him to laugh. It's sweet and captivating as always.

"I guess, I did! I admit, it felt a little easier and faster coming up here when I am younger but I'd say, it's still worth it. I can appreciate it now even more, especially with you by my side. The beauty of nature and the beauty of the most stunning person I have ever known."

You roll your eyes dramatically: "Oh please, you are always such a poet." It makes you smile and your reaction satisfies him as he pulls out the guitar, brushing over it. You aren't surprised when he brought the instrument along, it is rare to encounter him without it, and thanks to music, the two of you met.

You love to listen to him playing, Hongjoong often just sat by your side while you prepared for your finals and played soft songs that helped you to relax. The melody he is playing now is a cheerful song but it somehow feels bittersweet.

Hongjoong is looking at you before his raw voice starts to sing, you remember the song well. He told you that it is one he wrote in the first week after leaving his family to travel with his friend, a song about being homesick but knowing you'd come back home, able to share many stories with your loved ones.

It is his wish for you to experience the same, move abroad, live your dream, and then come back to tell him about it. As you listen, tears well up a little in your eyes and you start crying without really noticing.

Hongjoong is alarmed right away, placing the guitar aside and leaning in, thumb brushing the tears away. "Hey, no tears. I promise you, everything will work out just fine," Hongjoong promises, pulling you closer to him so he could curl his arms around your figure.

For a moment, you allow yourself to be weak, for the tears to well and your face hidden against his shoulder. His hand soothingly brushes over your back as he comforts you and soon enough you find yourself relaxing again.

"Sorry, I feel silly. I am too old to be so emotional about this, especially since you all are right and it's just twelve months," you mumble, a little embarrassed. You move, just enough so Hongjoong can look comfortably at you.

"Sh, no feelings are ever silly. It's okay to feel that way, you know that. If anyone understands, then it's me. But you will do amazing, and I am proud of you. I know we haven't been together for long, but you have walked toward your wish for so long, I greatly admire you for it. Most of us give up on the way."

You sigh, shaking your head a little: "Poet altogether. How about you kiss me instead?" You tease him further but Hongjoong shows no sign of hesitation. He leans down, your lips crashing together in a wanting kiss.

You could always kiss him for hours, the way arms just curl comfortably around each other's figures, the warmth being the best kind of comfort. Passion, longing, want. They always mix together and make you breathless; today is no exception.

When they part, he chuckles a little: "Very eager to kiss me today, I see. Now, let me look at you properly." You sit up and he cups your face entirely, thumbs brushing over your cheeks and his dark eyes admire you like you are a piece of art.

"I was wrong, I think I prefer this above the scenery here. The trees make it a tight decision, but I feel generous," he jokes in an attempt to cheer you up and you end up laughing. "Oh? I guess I will have to keep up my game then to make sure it won't change."

You laugh together and embrace each other. "I love you, just always remember that," Hongjoong's voice is soft and he places a gentle kiss on top of your hair.

"I know, I love you too...." you mumble, but this time, no tears only smiling. "You can call me anytime if you miss me. Who cares about the time difference? I will just start to live an unhealthy life, and besides my lessons, we can make it work, you will see."

Hongjoong never breaks a promise; this is something you learned quickly, and the thought makes you smile. "I will make sure to call often but also make you proud so you can brag how smart and stunning I am, working a fancy job in Spain." He chuckles, smirking: "Good, I am counting on it." The next kiss is short and sweet.

This Summer truly is the best of your life, and as you look at how the sun begins to set, you feel happy and content.

Maybe you can approach it differently. Instead of leaving, you'd think of all you have to come back to, as a cool person, one that makes them proud while knowing you are loved.

[fanartlover1234]

SPACER APOCALYPSE

Y/n a ruthless thief, raised by Silvers pirate crew.

Jim an Intersollar academy graduate and spacer.

Childhood friends split in enemies.

3 years old:

Sarah placed her hands at her hips when she heard the voices in Jims room, how the younh boy laughed and the girl giggled.

"James Hawkins" Sarah said as she opened the door looking at the two kids, both putting on their best puppy dog eyes.

Jim laughed bit when his mother lifted him in her arma before the woman turned to Y/n.

The little girls young doe eyes looked at her, her greyish eyes being amazed when the book of pirate storys opened once again.

The kids played before Sarah led the young her back to her room and tucking her in.

"Do you think pirates are real?" She asked while the woman turned her night light on.

"I think, everything is possible if you believe it strong enough" Sarah said before closing the door.

22 years later:

And boy did the girl believe, as one of the most feared pirates in galaxy, her crew quite large but she only trusted few people and her black ship with the old sails drew attention and fear in any dock.

When Jims father left, he draged her with and soon she was on her own untill Jhon Silver found her and raised her.

She had seen Jim at the search for treasure planet but refused to get on the ship.

Of course she felt bad for never returning or even writing a letter to note she was okey but she had a life, a reputation.

So when the pirate meet was now right behind the overwhelming doors of the Inn she so dreadfuly wished she would have played sick and not come.

The black dress reached above her ankles flattering her greyish blue skin tone and tje blacl boots made of same lether as her belt and pirate hat that sat on her grey hair.

She entered after few bug breaths making her way straight upstairs to the bathroom only to pass her old bedroom on the way.

She moved to the door, a small crack left open the same way it was when she was draged away by the man she barely ever spoke with.

She opened the door steping inside, it was exactly the same as it was when ahe left.

The pink walls and white forniture with all her stuffed animals and as she picked up her pink teddy bear with an eyepatch and a pirate hat that Sarah had made for her she was reminded of the days she tried to be a good pirate the type thay stole for the poor and suported everyone and her gaze fell to the mirror and she closed her eyes shut.

"Hello?" Sarahs voice ringed in her ears as she slowly turned to the woman, the teddy bear in hand "oh Y/n"

The woman didnt waste a second to take the girl in a warm embrace, though in her own eyes Y/n has changed much, her skin covered in scars one marking her collor bone and another her lip but in Sarahs eyes she was still the little girl with doe eyes thay dreamed of pirates and adventures.

"Just wait untill Jim, knows you are-"

"Im not. Im not back its just for tonight" Y/n said looking down before placing the bear back and leaving to her ship.

"Captain, look what we found snooping around the deck" one of the men said beforr steping away to make a clear view for their boss.

"Leave" she ordered the men and all scattered away to the party, she was not sure if it was fear or exitment for party that made them move so quickly but her mind didnt dwell on it too much when she looked at the man tied to her main mast.

He was clearly taller and the usual pony tain was now oddly suiting him as he stared right at her, his blue eyes surely burning holes in her tinted skin.

"What are you doing here" she asked as she untied him.

"Is that anyway to say hi to an old friend" Jim asked as he watched the girl lean on the railing of her boat taking her hat off.

"A friend? You have been making my life a shit hole for past few years with your whole intersollar acadamy graduate bullshit" she sais harsly crossing her arms as he leaned on the main mast his usual smirk still there.

She could have bet he had the same one while he was watching her strugle to start the ship after he messed with wires on it a few months back.

But boy did that smirk had an effect on her.

"Yes cause a friend would have at least sent a note to let people know they are fine"

"Well i thought you guys thought that i- oh whatever just leave" she said trowing her arms up before leaving for her bedroom in captains room earning a chuckle from the man as he followed her stoping her at the steps traping her between his hands.

"No no no, i deserve an apology, i was very worried" he said leaning in but she sliped away fastly before she mumbled something among the lines of an apology her voice nervouse as she tried closing her doors but he went in anyways now backing her slowly up "and another one, cause i was so hurt when i saw you were okey but no note" he pouted his hand flying to his heart in a mocking way before he caught the girls waist when she triped over her own feet.

His forhead touched hers while his free hand was on her neck as he tried to find her eyes.

"Im sorry" she mumbled

"Its okey, i forgive you" he said before kissing the cornor of her mouth and moving to centre but she pulled back.

"This is-"

"Wrong? Yeah i know, it like spacer apocalypse but since when do we care" he said before smashing his lips on her.

His lips.

Her lips.

Apocalypse.

[itslottiehere]

the pineapple coincidence (h.s) — part one

hello beautiful people 🤍  welcome back! it’s been a while, huh? i’m so sorry to have made you wait for so long, but among all things that happened, i wasn’t in the mood to post my writing. but i’m back now! so, this is a new story about barista!harry x college student!reader, and i hope you’ll like it! (also, if you get the reference in the title, you get a big forehead kiss).  please, let me know what you think !! your feedback means the world to me. you can do so in the tags or in my asks if you wish to! without further ado, happy reading! <3

masterlist | leave your feedback or requests here

tw: none really for this part, perhaps for the next ones but they will be signalled.

word count: 4.1k

–

“hello, hi, can i please get a non-alcoholic cocktail? a mocktail? is that what they’re called? i don’t know, just uh- can i have one of those, please?”

“yeah yeah, slow down. coming right up.”

harry had kept an eye on her the whole evening, because she clearly didn’t want to be there. at first, he was afraid she was on a date with someone who was doing something to make her uncomfortable, so he kept looking at their table to see if he had to step up and kick them out.

but when he saw other people join her and her friend at the table, he understood that it was a group of friends, so he let down his guard.

still, he couldn’t understand why she was such in a poor mood.

“everything alright?” he inquired, glancing at her briefly.

“uh? yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” she said, tapping her fingers nervously on the counter. harry looked down at her hands, and smirked.

“doesn’t seem like it.”

“i just- i just didn’t want to come out tonight.” she murmured.

he nodded lightly. “ah, i see. because you’re the designated driver?” he started grabbing the things to make her drink.

“no, it’s not - uh, i have to get up early and study tomorrow and i have to pretend to get drunk or at least pretend to be a bit tipsy or else i will never hear the end of it from my friends. they keep saying that “i can’t ever let go” she scoffed, and then looked up to him, eyes opening wide in surprise. “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to overshare and bother you with my problems, i tend to do that when i’m nervous and that’s why-“

“hey, slow down. it’s fine, i’m a bartender, more used to it than you think.” he answers, giving her a crooked smile. “here’s your drink, it has grapefruit and pineapple in it.” he extended his arm with the glass in his hand. “hope you’ll like it.”

“how did you know i love pineapple?” she smiled at him.

he shrugged: he didn’t know about the pineapple, but he did know she had a pretty smile.

he watched her walking back to the table, the drink clutched into her hands. she sat down and brought the straw to her lips, drinking a bit of the concoction harry prepared for her. when he saw the look of delight on her face, a grin made his way on his.

“hey dude, i’ll have a beer.” a guy interrupted his staring.

“wha- oh sure, coming right up.”

—

she really didn’t want to go out. finals were coming up and she had to get the best scores, or else she already could see the disappointed look on her parents’ faces. it’s not their fault, really, she was always good in school and everyone just kind of expected that from her.

so really it’s kind of her own fault, right?

it sure felt like it. she couldn’t blame her parents for expecting her to succeed in college: she was the best student at her high school, without a crazy effort; she was also the valedictorian at her graduation. so now at college, they expected her to do the same, and how could she let them down?

that kind of pressure, added to the stress of moving for college, turned her into an overwhelmed, burnt out mess, that just wanted to stay home and go to sleep early so that she could’ve woken up the following day and get back to studying.

but she wasn’t that lucky.

“we never see you anymore! the only time i can see you is in the library and you spend half of the time shushing me.” niall cracked a smile. “please come out with us.” he whined, giving her his best attempt at puppy eyes.

“no, i really can’t. i’m way too busy, i need to study.” she shook her head in disagreement. 

but that didn’t stop niall and his whining. “c’mon now, it’s at a bar nearby. you need to let loose once in a while, you really need a night out.”

she shook her head once again, dropping the gaze back to her books. “i said no, you should-“

niall interrupted her, standing up from the library chair. “i’m picking you up at 9pm, and i’ll drag you out the door or carry you bridal style to the car, but i won’t take no for an answer.” with that and a smile, he left her in the library.

and now, there she was.

she loved her friends, she really did, and she was glad that sometimes they dragged her out of her room to talk to some other human beings, but not tonight. she could feel the anxiety creep up, the sense of guilt of wasting a night that she could’ve spent studying eating her from the inside. 

she was becoming fidgety, her right leg bouncing so much she was afraid it was going to come off, her breath getting shallower by the minute, the grip of her anxiety getting stronger around her throat. so she excused herself and left the table with the excuse of “getting a drink”, just to get a break and maybe calm down.

she didn’t want to get a water as always because her friends teased her all the time.

“a water? really? can’t you get a cocktail for once? maybe a fruity one, where you don’t even feel the alcohol?” 

and she knew that maybe people who suggested that you had to drink in order to have fun weren’t exactly the best people, but she also knew where her friends were coming from: they just wanted to see if it may help her out with her nerves.

but it never did. the thought of letting go of control, especially control over herself? no, thank you.

so she walked up to the counter, thinking about the name of a drink that her friends mentioned, that was supposed to be something with pineapple in it, if she wasn’t mistaken. at least, that was one thing she’d enjoy.

after getting the attention of the curly headed bartender, she started nervously looking around and tapping her fingers on the kind of sticky counter, thinking about how much sleep she was going to lose and how tired she was going to be the following morning and how that was going to mess up all her schedule and-

“everything alright?” the bartender interrupted her rambling thoughts.

“uh?” she hadn’t expected him to talk. “yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” she shrugged and kept looking around, never letting her gaze land on something or someone for more than four seconds.

“doesn’t seem like it.” the deep voice of the bartender nudged her on, and that’s all that she needed to decide to dump all her thoughts on him.

way to go, you idiot. this poor guy is just doing his job, just shut up already. 

after apologizing to him for what she did, he was still nice — wow, he didn’t get annoyed at me, and even gave me a small smile, she noticed — and he handed her drink, telling her it had grapefruit and pineapple in it.

at the mention of her favourite fruit, she lit up.

“how did you know i love pineapple?”

the thought of someone guessing something about her without even knowing her made her smile, a real smile.

the fact that she needed to realize that it was a real one made her think about how long it had been since she did smile for real.

mumbling a small thank you, she reached for the glass and held it close to her. she turned around and headed back to her table.

he has such a cute smile, she thought.

—

the rest of the night didn’t go any better. her friends were laughing loudly, way too loud for her taste; her anxiety made her even more quiet that she usually was, but no one seemed to notice that she didn’t speak more than four phrases during the whole evening.

they didn’t really realize she left the table and went out of the bar, either.

she decided to go in the back alley, so she wouldn’t be seen by any of her friends if they were going to come out for a smoke.

“fuck.” she murmured once she felt the cold air hitting her. she could hear her mother’s voice in her head:

“you should’ve worn more layers.”

“you should’ve brought a warmer jacket.”

“don’t even think about getting sick this close to finals.” 

that voice made her feel even colder.

she rummaged in her bag, looking for the one guilty pleasure she permitted herself to have. she took out her pack of cigarettes, opened it and realizing it was the last one, she made a mental note to buy a new pack the following day.

she knew she shouldn’t smoke, but it was the one thing that made her feel a little relaxed. she sighed, picking up the stick and putting it between her slightly cracked lips. once again, she started looking for her lighter, first patting her pockets, and once she didn’t find it there, she started looking in her bag.

“i was sure it was here, c’mon.” she mumbled with the cigarette hanging from her lips. “you must be in here somewhere.”

she kept patting every inch of her purse until finally, in some remote corner, she found the object of her desires. taking it out, victorious, she lit up her cig and took a long drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs; after a little, she opened her lips to let it out.

she could already feel her mind relax, the most relaxed she had been the whole evening. closing her eyes, she rested her back against the wall, and tilted her head back, feeling herself getting calmer by every drag of smoke she inhaled.

“and what is a good girl like you doing in a dark back alley smoking a cigarette?”

“AH!” the deep voice startled her, making her quickly turn around, clutching her chest, afraid her heart was going to fall out.

harry, on the other hand, just giggled at her reaction.

“you scared the crap out of me.” she murmured, glancing at her cigarette and quickly putting it out on the wall, keeping the end in her hand so that she could throw it away later.

“sorry, didn’t want to startle you.” he said, still quite smiling. “so, what are you doing out here?”

she waited a second before answering, pondering whether to lie or tell him the real reason she was out there. she decided on telling a half truth. “i just needed to take a breather, it was too stuffy in there.”

he nodded slowly, still looking at her. “ah, i see.” he nodded his head towards her figure, his eyes shifting to the hand holding the cigarette butt. “you smoke?”

“just, uh- just on occasion. please don’t tell anyone.” she fretted.

harry couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. “relax, who am i gonna tell? your parents?” while he didn’t think any of it, he didn’t see the look on her face. he then added: “you’re a grown up, you can very well do whatever you want.”

she had no reason to be scared of her parents finding out from harry, at the end of the day, how could he even get in contact with them? she realized her foolishness, and nodded before speaking up again, clearing her throat. “and what are you doing out here?”

he shrugged. “just taking my break, needed a breather as well.” plus, i didn’t see you inside and thought i might find you out here. hopefully not with the bloke who kept checking you out all night. he wanted to add, but refrained.

“ah, i see.” she nodded, looking around.

an uncomfortable silence surrounded them, were they supposed to fill it? what were they supposed to talk about?

before harry could open his mouth, she spoke up. “i-uh, i think i’m going to head inside. i’ve been out here for a while, don’t want to alarm my friends.” she gave him a tight lipped smile, getting closer to the door.

“oh alright. i’m coming back in too, break almost over anyways.” he smiled, a dimple making its appearance on his cheek. he headed towards the door, opened it and gestured her with his hand to go in. “ladies first.”

she murmured a small thank you, and passed right by him. in the fresh air of the night — instead of the humid stale air of the bar — he could smell her perfume: something flowery, sweet but not nauseatingly so. just the perfect balance.

he was too caught up in his own head that he didn’t notice he was running straight into her back. frowning, he looked down at her, and he had only a question: why did she stop?

“fuck me.” she murmured. “i can’t believe this! no! not again!” her voice grew louder as she spoke.

harry was confused, what happened? they were outside for a total of 7 minutes at best. following her line of sight, he took in the table where she was sat at. now void of people.

oh, c’mon now. 

“i swear to god i’m going to kill niall as soon as i see him, he better run away from me. and miranda too, if she thinks i’m going to let this slide again...” she spoke under her breath, searching for her phone in her purse. once she retrieved it, she sighed. “i’m sorry, my friends left without me for what feels like the millionth time and i’m sure they had a reason-“

harry was quick to interject. “hey, none of that. they could’ve at least told you. no reason is good enough for leaving you here alone.” he said in a firm voice. how could she blame herself for her shitty friends?

“no but look, they left me a message!” she showed him her phone.

from: niall <3

sorry babes, had to take miranda home. she got sick in the bathroom and it was not a pretty sight. text me when you’re home!

harry was unamused. “so?”

“so-” she gulped. “i know it’s not the best situation-“

“it was a jerk move.” he said sternly.

“and that they should’ve told me-“

“you could’ve been in danger.” he couldn’t believe she was trying to defend such a poor behavior.

she looked up at him, somehow pleading him to believe her. “but they had a good reason, she got sick-”

“there wasn’t a good enough reason to leave you in a bar by yourself.” harry looked at her in disbelief. this was a shitty thing to do and apparently it wasn’t the first time it happened.

“i can just call my boyfriend and ask him to pick me-”

“i can take you-” they spoke at the same time. “oh?” 

of fucking course there was a boyfriend. 

how didn’t he see that coming?

“yeah, i can call my boyfriend.” she nodded, mostly to herself. “i mean, he probably won’t be too happy and i’ll have to endure a long scolding on how my friends are the worst, but it’s the only way, isn’t it?” she looked at him briefly, before turning her attention back to her phone to dial her boyfriend’s number.

harry didn’t like the tone she had one bit, it was riddled with anxiety.  

she brought the device to her ear, giving harry a tight lipped smile, before shifting her eyes to look anywhere in the room, but him.

he didn’t know whether to feel flattered or sad.

“that’s weird.” she muttered lowly, glancing at her phone, which still showed her boyfriend’s name. “he always picks up.” she looked up at harry.

“mmh, maybe try to call him again?” he suggested. an obvious suggestion, clearly.

“yeah, i- alright.” she redialled, and tried again. with no luck.

she frowned, both sad and disappointed. harry had to stop himself from cradling her face in his hands and just tell her to drop both her friends and her boyfriend.

he was about to speak when she opened her eyes in realization.

“ah shit, of course.” she smacked her forehead with her left hand. “he has his phone on silent, he has a match tomorrow. how could i forget, he told me a million times.” she chuckled under her breath. “i’m so dumb.” she added, under her breath.

so, you know your girlfriend is going out with her friends, probably also knowing how much she didn’t want to, knowing the kind of people her “friends” are, and you decide to turn off your phone? right on, dude, harry thought.

harry shifted on his feet. “my offer still stands, you know.”

“huh?” she looked at him.

“uhm, i mean, we’d have to walk home because i live nearby so i don’t have my car, but if you want i can go get the car and come and get-” harry rambled.

“oh! no, no, please, don’t bother!” she quickly waved him off. “i can get home by myself, i’ll walk. i live near campus, so it’s a 20 minute walk, tops.” she was about to bid her goodbyes when harry shook his head.

“no way, i’m not letting you go home alone.” he took off his apron, and threw it on the counter. “max?” he called after his colleague. “i’m off for the night. let me know if it gets too crowded and i’ll come in again.”

“no worries, H, it’s okay! have a goodnight.” he winked at him, giving her a little glance.

oh good god, max. that was smooth.

“ready to go?” he gave her a small smile.

she nodded, smiling back timidly. “yeah. yeah i am.”

—

“so,” she kicked a pebble with her foot, making it land off the sidewalk “have you always wanted to be a bartender?”

harry chuckled lowly. “uhm no, not really.” he smiled towards her. “i actually went to college for a little while, trying to get a degree in “something useful”, as my parents would say. but school was never really for me, i guess.” he shrugged. “so i dropped out, found a nice job as a bartender and been there ever since.”

“oh wow.” she said. “and what did your parents think of that?” she questioned, curious.

“i mean, i am an adult and i can make my own choices. they weren’t too happy but they understood, and with time they appreciated that i was taking responsibility for my decisions and whatever came from them.” he answered simply.

it all sounded so simple coming from him.

if only it was that simple.

“so you don’t have like a secret wish? something you’ve always wanted to do?” she inquired, hoping not to sound rude.

“uhm.” he thought about it for a second. “i guess no, goal wise. i just wanted to live my life the way i wanted to live it. i didn’t set any goals i must achieve, like having to do something before a certain age or anything, if that’s what you were asking.” he ended, looking over to her.

she nodded and stayed quiet, mulling over his words.

“but what about you, huh? do you have something planned?” he nudged her shoulder with his own.

“oh yeah, i do.” she nodded. “get in a good college — which i luckily did —, get my degree with the best grades possible, get a job, husband, nice house, kids, grow old.” she said, smiling timidly towards harry.

he nodded, but didn’t seem really impressed with her plans. she didn’t like the feeling of having disappointed him somehow, she never liked feeling that way with anyone.

“something on your mind? sounds too ordinary for a cool guy like you?” she asked him, smiling but actually meaning it.

he laughed, shaking his head. “no, no, that’s not it.” he got a bit more serious when he said the next sentence. “just... isn’t it a bit much? like, don’t you feel a little too forced into these plans?”

“what do you mean forced into? it’s something i want, no one is forcing me.” that was a half truth, but he didn’t need to know that. she would never admit it out loud.

“it just seems, uh-” he scratched his neck. “i don’t want to sound like an ass, but it seems like you forgot to include the time to... actually live your life.” he glanced at the sky, and then looked at her. 

as if his brain registered how his words could’ve been misinterpreted, he started apologizing. “i’m really, really sorry if i overstepped, i didn’t mean anything hurtful. i’m just some guy, my words don’t have to mean anything.” 

he didn’t want her to feel bad, he knew he could be a bit blunt at times and from the very little informations he had about her, he thought that she probably didn’t react to well at that.

if only he knew how deep those words hit her.

not in a negative way, or in a hurtful one. they were just the plain truth: she scheduled her whole life, forgetting that plans and goals and deadlines didn’t mean anything if she didn’t enjoy the ride. she set these goals for herself without really thinking that they didn’t matter at all to anyone else but her.

but, in reality, she did think about it, she couldn’t stop thinking about how nothing mattered if she didn’t enjoy what she was doing. she tried so hard to pretend that everything was going according to plan, but she was also tired of pretending.

however, she couldn’t let herself think like that. no, everything had to follow the course that she chose, that her parents taught her was the right one.

that was what her life was gonna be, and that was fine. she had to be at peace with her choice.

she had to.

—

when she slowed down her pace, he understood they were finally at her door. he wasn’t too happy about having arrived just yet, and definitely not at all excited about not seeing her for god knows how long, if ever. 

so he mustered all the courage he had to ask the following question.

“so uh- am i gonna see you again soon?”

she didn’t wait a beat before answering. “i don’t think so, i sure hope not.” she stopped and saw the confused look on his face.

she realized what she had just said and tried to make it right. “oh no, that’s not- that came out wrong.” she sighed, and a small smile spread on harry’s face.

“it’s just that my friends forced me to go out tonight and i really didn’t want to. i’m getting ready for finals and i’m just hoping i’ll go out once those are over, and not during.” she took a deep breath after her little rant.

harry just looked at her fondly, and chuckled. “for a second there i thought you didn’t want to see me anymore, hurt me deeply.” he put a hand on his chest theatrically, acting as if she stabbed him in the heart.

she wanted to say that he was the best thing out of this whole mess of an evening, but she kept it to herself, and just smiled at him.

“goodnight, harry.” she murmured, raising on her tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “thank you for getting me home safe.”

“no problem, bunny. goodnight.” he smiled.

she tilted her head on the side, a smirk gracing her face. “bunny? and where did that come from?”

“oh uh- just from how you reacted in the alley, you jumped like a bunny. so i thought it was fitting.” he put his hands in his jacket pockets, shrugging.

when he saw the amused look she had on her face, he mimicked it.

“alright then, goodnight harry.” she said while taking out her keys.

“goodnight. see you after finals.” he flashed her a smile, taking three steps back still facing her. she got into her home, and waved at him before closing the door for good. not before getting a last glance of the bright eyed bartender.

–

after he turned around, harry made his way home. with a pep in his step, he felt like a proper teenage boy, getting back home all giddy because he got to walk home a pretty girl and she kissed his cheek.

his cheek was still tingling, the feeling of her lips on his skin not to be forgotten any time soon.

–

so, here it is!! please let me know if you want to be tagged in part two <3

taglist: @that-daydream-look

[luv4fandoms]

Most definitely (Bill S.Preston x Fem!Reader)

Ok so go easy on me, I've never actually sat down and watched Bill and Ted before (I just remember scenes in passing when I was a kid and my bros would watch it. But I'm trying to practice (I also need to just sit down and watch it fr lol) . I saw this writing prompt and my brain immediately thought of this, but yeah, the slag for them is a bit difficult for me lol.

Also I pictured the girl to be kinda like Wednesday, and her friend like Enid, Idk why lol.

Word count: 1,321

Pairing: BillxFem!Reader

Warnings: Drinking?

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

You didn't even know why you came to this party, other than the fact that your best friend in the whole world F/N was dragging you along. You both had recently moved to San Dimas after graduation, your parents wanting a change in scenery and her dad getting a better job. Though you did live a little ways away from each other, at least it wasn't the thousands of miles you were terrified of at first when her parents said they would be going. Really though it was lucky that your mom and her mom had been besties since high school and couldn't stand to be apart. 

But back to the overly atrocious party that you had stepped foot in. It wouldn't have been bad if there had been at least good music you supposed, but come on, where was the Motorhead? The Metallica? The Van Halen?! All there was were drunks, newly graduated teens jumping around with cups of clearly spiked punch, either seeing how stupid they could be, or how far down each other's throats they could stick their tongues.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea" you spoke, look around, luckily not spotting anyone you knew from your short time living here.

"Oh come on! Live a little!" Your friend yelled over the music as she pulled you further along. 

"I'd rather die a quiet death," you told her,but let her lead you nonetheless. Though a little ways into her walking, she stopped.

"Hey, isn’t that the ‘super hot’ neighbor you were rambling about having a crush on earlier, over there?” she asked with a shit eating grin, causing your eyes to widen..please no.

"What?! Please say psych!"

"No I’m serious, look." You followed her line of sight towards the kitchen, easily finding the curly blonde locks of, indeed, your 'super hot' neighbor you had rambled about any and every time you talked to F/N.

"..Fuck" you breathed. You couldn't help it really, he wasn't like any guy you had ever seen before, it was like he was a Greek God walking amongst humans. Or an angel sent to Earth. You had never actually spoken to him, just little hesitant waves between you both, you didn't know what you would even say to him if you talked, or if you would be able to. His friend was far more chatty, that was the only reason you knew his name was Bill, because Ted had stopped to talk to you before heading into Bill's house. He told you they had a band, and you should come by sometime to hear them play, an offer you never had the guts to take him up on. Sometimes you really hated being shy, sometimes you really wished you were as outgoing as F/N, the social butterfly..Instead of the goth moth.

"I mean they do clean up pretty ni- Wait, where are you going? We just got here." F/N spoke, quickly catching up with you.

"Home! I only agreed to this because you said no one would know me here!" You stated, almost to the door when.

"Most bodacious neighbor babe!" Ted's voice rang out, causing you to stop just as your hand touched the doorknob.

"Are you already leaving? So not cool" he stated while throwing his arm over your shoulder.

"..Ah.."

"We actually just got here" F/N spoke up, causing you and Ted to look at her, his eyes widening.

"Whoa" he breathed while taking her in.

"You must be Ted" she smiled, before, to your dismay, adding.

"Y/N has told me about you"

"You talked about me?" Ted smiled.

"You and Bill" she added, smiling while you glared at her.

"Bill is here as well, come on! He will be most pleased to see you!" Ted spoke excitedly as he pulled you along, arm still over your shoulder while F/N followed behind. He led you to the kitchen area, calling out to Bill once he spotted him.

"Bill! Look at the bodacious babes that I found" you watched Bill turn around, his eyes meeting yours as he smiled, giving you a wave.

"Neighbor babe" he spoke, though you noticed the faint pink tinting his cheeks.

"Hey Bill" you waved back, trying not to get lost in his hazel gaze.

"Ah this is F/N" you stated, gesturing to your friend who happily waved.

"Very nice to meet the infamous Bill S. Preston" 

"How did you-" 

"F/N isn't this like, your favorite song?" You asked quickly, turning to her as you tried not to murder her. 

"Oh my God it is!" She smiled, before turning to Ted.

"Wanna dance cutie?"

"Most definitely!" He smiled, letting her lead him to the dance floor and giving a thumbs up to Bill, who gave one back.

"They will make a cute couple" you spoke, mainly to yourself, but Bill heard.

"He is her type?" He asked, and you turned to look at him.

"How did Ted say it? Most definitely!" you told him, cracking a smile when he laughed at your impression.

"Hey, you actually do smile" he stated, causing your smile to fall.

"No wait-I didn't-I mean you don't have to smile if you don't want to-it would just be most heinous if you didn't smile-what I mean to say is you have a most beautiful smile" he rambled, the pink growing darker.

"Oh…Thank you" you spoke, your own blush darkening your cheeks.

"Hey, can I ask you something"

"Sure"

"How did your friend know who I was?"

"Oh…I'm not sure" you replied, watching as he nodded, looking off to the side with a slightly sad look on his face, dammit. He looked over at you when he heard you sigh, your eyes trained on the punch bowl.

"I…may have mentioned you in passing" you stated, trying to play it cool, noticing his smile return from the corner of your eye.

"Really?"

"Maybe"

"A most bodacious babe like you?"

"I wouldn't consider myself a bodacious babe" 

"I would" you looked up at him, his eyes shining as he smiled at you, dang it why was his smile so contagious? Looking back at the punch bowl you groaned when another song came on.

"Would it kill them to play Black Sabbath every now and then?" You watched Bill's head snap back to you, having looked out at Ted and your friend.

"What?"

"Or Megadeth? Def Leppard? ACDC? Ratt? Anything!" You stressed, before looking over at Bill, and instantly your blushed darkened even more, because you had never been looked at like that before, not like how you usually look at him.

"Not only are you the most bodacious babe I have ever met, but I'm pretty sure you were the most excellent angel in heaven" he smiled at you, only grinning bigger when you giggled, that was definitely a sound he could get used to.

"Is this where you ask me if it hurt when I fell from heaven?" You asked.

"Did it?" 

"No, but I did scrape my knees crawling out of hell" you replied, earning a laugh from him this time.

"That was the most excellent comeback"

"Do you maybe-wanna go out sometime?" He asked after a moment, and you swore your heart went into overdrive, your brain telling you to keep your cool.

"Yeah" you nodded.

"Yeah?"

"Most definitely" you smiled.

So there it is! Like I said, I definitely need to practice more lol. But yeah idk I think it would be hilarious to see these two with girls like this.

[symmetricalkazekage]

Story time!! I had joined Tumblr years ago after a friend showed it to me, but I never really used it. But then my lovely friend @m1dnyt3-w0lf sent me a tmnt fic and I was swept up (I had fallen in love with tmnt again at this point).

We are currently in the middle of writing our own chaptered stories, beta-reading off each other, but I wrote her this last year for new years, and I just wanted to share it. She gave me her self insert character to use, so I present to you my Leo x OC fic (the first fanfic I've written since 2016 👀).

Feel free to change the name as you read, and please leave me critique.

Also tagging @turtle-babe83 and @thelaundrybitch because I really like your writing and you kinda got me back into writing 😖🙏🏽

The holiday season, Christmas. Just like all the previous years it had come and gone all too quickly. Eventually to a point where you didn’t even feel the holiday cheer anymore, all the while people around you were all festive. Your Christmas was spent working overtime, extra shifts, over 2 jobs. You didn’t really have anyone to spend the holidays with anyway, so you kept your self busy by working, sometimes pulling all-nighters. Everyone, coworkers and customers alike always asked the same question, “Why are you working, it’s Christmas!”; your answer always being that you could use the extra money coming into the new year. You always received pitiful looks, but you were numb to them now.

You were mopping the floors of the diner at your second job, finally closing after the late evening rush. Your mind flooded back to 6 years ago, to when you were kicked out of your home and your family. You were always the odd duckling in the family, but when you started bringing up that you wanted to pursue full time work instead of college, you were immediately thrown out. Everything you owned tossed into the snow, which wasn’t much. A “Good luck” was all you got from them. You had couch surfed for the few months left of high school before you graduated. A month later you landed a job in a warehouse that paid it employees’ good money. 2 years later everyone who helped you was repaid and you had moved into a small apartment somewhere in lower Manhattan in New York. You got a transfer to a closer warehouse and managed to picked up a night job at a diner 2 blocks away from home. It was a struggle at first, but now, everything was so natural to you. You smiled wryly to yourself in bitter triumph.

‘See, I can succeed without college,’ you muttered into the space.

‘Well, you’ve definitely proven that.’

Fight mode kicked in; you spun around swinging the mop with you ready to beat a bitch down! You relaxed when you saw your manager Jenny standing there with a grin and a bag.

‘Oh crap, sorry Jenny!’ you yelled frantically dropping the mop and fumbling with the handle.

‘At ease Ashley, I came to tell you that you can go home now. You’re already here 3 hours passed your finish time,’ she smiled taking the mop from you, ‘and I am more than capable to finish up here.’

‘It’s okay I’m nearly done anyway,’ you said reaching for the mop, only to have it pulled form your grasp.

‘I’m serious, missy. You worked through Thanksgiving and Christmas; its New Year’s Eve and you’re still working!’

‘It’s not a bother honestly!’ You tried to protest, but she just shook her head. You watched her walk behind the counter with the mop, only to trade it with your bag and winter jacket.

‘But it bothers me, do you really not have anyone waiting for you tonight?’ Your phone pinged answering her question. ‘Ah, so there is a someone is there?’ she winked.

You pulled out your phone. ‘Nope, just the phone company letting me know my bill is due next week.’

‘Aw, that’s a shame. You’re such a pretty girl, you really need a boyfriend.’

You just laughed as you pulled your coat on and headed for the door, wishing your boss a happy new year. The cold New York wind hit you as you headed home. Its not like you wanted to be alone, you just kept everyone at a distance for safety. Well, almost everyone. You looked up to the sky, watching the snow begin to fall again. You weren’t surprised when you saw a giant figure bound from roof to roof under the cover of darkness, it also didn’t surprise you when you saw the figure stop on the corner of your apartment building. So, he’s here again, is he?

You walked into your apartment, placing your bag on the couch. You stood there for five minutes before thinking “what the hell” and headed to your window, climbing back out into the frigid air and up the fire escape. You were puffing and heaving by the time you reached the roof, why am I doing this again?

‘Need a hand?’ That’s why.

You looked up to the face of the smooth voice. Of course, he would be here, it had become religious at this point.

‘Thank you, Leonardo,’ you said breathless reaching for his hand. It always astounded you just by the sheer size different. You knew you were short, but standing next to him, definitely made you feel it. And it made you mad. ‘Do you have to be that fucking tall?'

‘Do you have to ask that same question every time we meet?’ he laughed.

‘Yes. I. Do!’

He laughed again, and you melted inside. It was like music, and you felt blessed every time you heard it. And that smile, made your knees weak on sight. He followed behind you to the other side of the building where a table and chairs sat, mainly for those that hung their washing during the hot days. You set your still hot food down on the table top before you turned and leant against it. Looking up, you jumped a little to see Leonardo standing close to you. His brilliant blue eyes glowing in the low light of the night.

‘Why are you here again Leonardo, I’m sure you have better things to do.’ You didn’t mean it to sound so dejected, but that’s how you were feeling.

‘Crime’s been slow since it’s New Years. And how many times have I told you to call me “Leo”?’ he shifted closer ever so slightly.

‘I’ve lost count at this point.’ You turned your head to the side, he wasn’t even that close, but you could still feel the heat radiating off his body. ‘Also how are you not cold, aren’t you a reptile?’

‘Donnie says its because of the mutagen, Raph says its because the stress keeps me running, and Mikey says and I quote “It’s because you’re too hot to handle dude!” so I really don’t know.’ He laughed again, but from the corner of your eye you watched his shoulders slump.

‘What’s up?’ you asked walking around the table.

‘It doesn’t bother you that I’m a mutant?’ he asked.

Not this again. ‘No, it doesn’t.’

‘I don’t scare you?’ his head dropped; he was no longer looking at you.

‘No, you don’t. why are we doing this again?’ food forgotten, your face scowled. You could never understand his self-sabotage. It was completely on accident that you had seen him and his brothers, you were just chilling on the roof when they dropped in. You were surprised at first, but you simply tossed them some chocolate and wished them a good evening before disappearing back into your building. Since then, Leonardo had made it his goal to annoy you, visiting almost every night. Originally, he said it was to make sure you wouldn’t say anything to anyone. But now, he had probably listed every excuse in the book to be where he is now. At first it bothered you, but then, you began to warm up to him. And eventually, you heart had decided that he was the one it wanted.

“…do you really not have anyone waiting for you tonight?” echoed through your mind as you stared at the giant turtle in front of you. The longer you stared, the harder it was for you to hide the blush that was forming; even harder to resist the smile that was forming at the corner of your lips. I actually do this time. You didn’t wait for his answer, you just scooped up the snow into a ball and threw it at his face.

‘If I was scared of you, I wouldn’t have done that…’ you said triumphantly at his stunned face, ‘or… THIS!!’ you threw another snowball at his face, your smile full of sass and devious planning; your heart flipping with glee. New Year’s resolution: be happy for me for once. ‘So, what are you gonna do about it, Le-o-nar-do?’

He blinked before he wiped the snow off his snout, wiping away any self-doubt; replacing it with the most evil grin you’d seen on his face. It made you shiver with delight. He didn’t say anything, he just charged for you at full speed. You dodged him, skidding under the water tank. You quickly made another snow ball ducking out and pegging it at the back of his head. It hit him square, and you watched him shiver; snow must’ve gone down his shell. He turned on you again, giving you no chance to make more ammo. You ducked back under the tank backing out the other end with more snow in your hand. You ran out into the open with the new ball and turned ready to throw; but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Your eyes scanned every inch of the roof, stepping as quietly as you could with your guard up.

‘Boo.’

You spun and went to throw your weapon, but he was much faster, catching your arm like it was nothing. You dropped the winter ball; time seeming to stop around you as you stood mere inches from each other. The height difference meant you had to crane your neck to see him, but it didn’t seem to bother you this time. He lowered your arm, but his grip didn’t leave you; instead he began to gently massage small circles into your wrist. Those small motions made your heart race as you instinctively moved closer, as did he. You both began breathing heavily, creating smalls could between you from your hot breath. You both just stood there staring, in silence, as the world around you began the countdown into the new year.

‘What’s your resolution?’ you asked.

He smiled, pulling you in with his free hand and slowly dipping down. ‘To make you mine,’ your heart skipped, ‘what’s yours?’

‘To be happy,’ you whispered.

He chuckled softly, ‘Sounds good.’

‘And to kiss you finally.’

Before he could say anything, you reached up on your toes and planted a kiss against his warm lips. He froze for a moment, clearly shocked. You starting to thinking it was a bad idea, but you felt him lean in closer, pulling you flush with him. The world around you was full of cheers and “happy new year’s” as you kissed on the rooftop, feeling the happiest you had ever felt in many years.

When you finally parted, you were both dazed and breathless. He smiled down at you as you shied away into his chest, embarrassed that you had to be the one to initiate. He just laughed at you, resting his chin on your head as he wrapped you in his arms.

‘Happy New Year, Ashley,’ he whispered.

‘Happy New Year, Leo,’ you whispered back.

[goddessapostle]

The Makings of a Mess

Fandom: Genshin Impact Characters: Kaveh, Minor Alhaitahm, still Kavetham Warnings: Violence, Suicide threat/reference, Non-consensual kissing Summary: Mehrak comes to him on day six. No, wait, that's not true. Mehrak comes on day two; it only feels like it's been six days. Alhaitham isn't sure why time has tripled in Kaveh's absence. It never has before. Ah, but then, Kaveh's not just absent, is he? He's missing.

5.8k // AO3 // Masterlist

Kaveh doesn't know when the best years of his life happened.

Was it when he was a child, young and carefree and careless enough to kill his father?

Or was it when he was freshly graduated, hopeful to bring art into an increasingly artless climate?

Or perhaps it was building the Palace of Alcazarzary, despite the fact that it left him broke and homeless.

The weeks following that certainly did not count. Not when he spent every morning trying to gain control over his new Vision and every night deliriously drunk.

It was only Alhaitham that provided him solace in that time — everyone else, save for Lambad, thought he was just living the life accompanied by his title. He's never been sure just how Alhaitham saw through his ruse. But since moving in together, it's been….

Well. It hasn't been great but it hasn't been terrible, either. Alhaitham gives him free reign of the house, whether to live or to decorate, and while his beer seems to 'mysteriously' disappear, other drinks are left to take its place. Not all are alcoholic, and Kaveh's half sure it's meant as a discouragement to drinking. So he makes a promise to himself — no more drinking, save for those nights he's out with Cyno and Tighnari.

He's actually grateful for the chance to sober up when a cup of sake is set in front of him.

"It's imported," says the man — Aizen? Aziz? Something with an 'A' and a 'Z' — before he downs his own cup. "Straight from Inazuma. You should try it." The man gives a cruel grin.

"Mm," hums Kaveh. "I wish I could. But my hands are tied at the moment."

At this, Azia guffaws. "See?" he says, cuffing Kaveh on the shoulder. "I knew it was a good idea to let him keep his Vision. He's a riot!"

Kaveh grits his teeth as he's jostled. He does not want any of these men touching any part of him. Not unless it's to let him go.

Because his hands are tied, not just by the promise — they've been wrenched behind his back and secured with the roughest rope known to man. He wasn't trying to be funny, but maybe Cyno has rubbed off on him without his noticing. 

"Here you go, Little Light." Aizik(that will be his name from now on, Kaveh decides) stands and moves to Kaveh's side of the table. One of his hands gingerly picks up the clay cup, the other yanks Kaveh's head back with a fistful of hair. Kaveh cries out, Aizik dumps the sake into his open mouth.

He gasps and it floods his airway.

His scalp burns as he jerks forward. His chest heaves, he coughs and gags. The sake spills from his mouth and nose, pooling on the surface of the table.

"Hey!" Aizik shouts. His hand slams against Kaveh's cheek, splitting the skin where his heavy ring hit. "Do you have any idea how expensive that shit is?"

A rage the likes of which Kaveh has never before felt blooms alongside the blood on his tongue.

He hears one of the other Eremites gulp.

"Hey, boss?" a woman stutters. "Maybe, uh, maybe we should take his Vision."

"Pah!" Aizik waves her off. "We took his weapon already. What's he gonna do? Besides," he sinks onto the bench across from Kaveh, "have you seen that little Rtawahist girl? She can barely swing a sword!"

Wait a damn minute–

Is he talking about Layla?

Now that makes Kaveh's blood begin to boil. Layla may not be the strongest physically, but she's a bright student and dependable ally! The number of times she's saved his life with her quick shielding is immeasurable. He glares at Aizik, letting his rage simmer between them.

Aizik bursts into laughter. "Got a problem, Little Light?" he asks.

"Don't badmouth her!" Kaveh hisses.

Aizik smirks. "Touchy subject, huh? She your little girlfriend? Maybe we ought to go collect her, too."

Kaveh lurches forward as far as the table allows. "Don't you touch her!"

Aizik smiles and forces him back down. He waves his hand to the crowd, and two come forward to tie Kaveh to the bench.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head," Aizik says. "We're not looking for your sidepiece." He takes Kaveh's chin and tilts his head back and forth, studying everything from his red eyes to the blood dripping down his cheek.

"You know," Aizik says, "you'd make a killing in a whorehouse. Everyone would line up for a piece o' you. We could sell you to the highest bidder." He drops his hand back to the jug of sake. "But I have a better idea.

"You're worth a pretty penny on your own, but to the right person, you'd be worth the world, I bet."

Kaveh raises a brow. "And who do you suggest would pay the world for me?"

"You don't know?" Aizik pours himself another cup of sake, this time sipping at it. "We catch you together all the time."

Tighnari or Cyno. It has to be one of them.

"And from the way he looks at you, it's clear just how much you mean to him."

….wait. Tighnari and Cyno are together. And, as much as Kaveh would love to be included in their lives, he knows that is not the case. He frowns at Aizik. "There's no one who looks at me like that."

"He does." Aizik shrugs. "Looks at ya like your worth… oh, say, five million mora? Guess we'll see if he really does value you that much."

Kaveh's mouth drops open. "Five million?!" There is not a single soul in Teyvat who would consider him so highly.

Then again, kidnappers don't really care for that, do they? All they see when they look at people is a pile of mora.

Kaveh wants to slam his head into the table, but his chest has been secured to the backrest of his bench. "You're an idiot," he says instead. "There's no one in Sumeru that even has that kind of money!"

Except for Dori, of course. But Kaveh would much rather be sold to the whorehouse than end up in more debt to her.

"Maybe not individually," Aizik agrees, "but he has access to all of Sumeru's finances. I'm sure he could figure it out."

Someone who has access to all of Sumeru's finances? The only people with that kind of authority are the sages. And considering that most of the sages are still exiled or injured….

"You don't mean Alhaitham?!" 

Aizik's smile widens.

Ooooooooh, Kaveh is screwed. Literally, considering the whorehouse is more likely to pay his ransom than Alhaitham.

Kaveh sighs. "You're making a mistake. Alhaitham doesn't like me like… that."

ʚїɞ

Mehrak comes to him on day six.

No, wait, that's not true. Mehrak comes on day two; it only feels like it's been six days. Alhaitham isn't sure why time has tripled in Kaveh's absence. It never has before.

Ah, but then, Kaveh's not just absent, is he?

He's missing.

Alhaitham paces the space between their sofas. One for Kaveh, the other for him.

It was a plain box. It didn't have an address. It didn't even have a name. He must have skipped over it several times.

Because Kaveh was missing.

It was a regular outing. Kaveh, Cyno, Tighnari. At Lambad's. Alhaitham passed because of the book he wanted to read. (The unfinished book is now a pile of ashes in his fireplace.)

Kaveh got very drunk that night. He was barely awake and stumbled every time he tried to move. That's what Lambad said, anyway. It's why he stepped out to send someone for Alhaitham. Kaveh was gone by the time he came back.

As if that wasn't worrying enough, Cyno revealed that Kaveh was only slightly tipsy when he left ten minutes earlier.

So Kaveh was not drunk.

He had been drugged.

ʚїɞ

Kaveh tilts his head as far back as it can go, but Aizik is relentless. He grabs a fistful of Kaveh's hair and forces their lips together. Sake floods his tongue, carried to him by Aizik's mouth and followed by his tongue. A hand pinches his nose, and Kaveh has no choice but to swallow the alcohol to breathe.

Aizik leans back, licking his lips. "Told you it was good. Let me know if you want more." Kaveh thinks he winks, but it's hard to tell behind the ribbon that covers his eyes.

Kaveh wrinkles his nose. "Let me take the whole thing back to Lambad. I'm sure he'd cut a deal with you."

Aizik waves his hand. "Too slow. Kind of like your roomie. It's been, what, a day since we dropped off the ransom note?" He looks around for confirmation. 

"Even if," Kaveh begins, "and that's a very big if, Alhaitham did decide to pay, he'd need more than a day to gather the funds. Even the Grand Sage has limits."

"Right," Aizik nods, "like your newly freed god." He plants his chin in his hand. "You have a point, Little Light. We gave him three days. I thought he'd be out looking for you by now, but he hasn't left his house."

Kaveh frowns, tilting his head to the side. That's doesn't sound quite right; if his timing is correct, it's a weekday. Alhaitham should be in his office at the Akademiya.

But then, Kaveh was out for who knows how long. "What day is it?" he asks, just to be sure.

Aizik hums. "Tuesday?" he says after some deliberation. "Yeah, Tuesday."

Kaveh raises a brow in confusion. "He should be at work."

"Nope." Aizik shakes his head. "Hasn't left since we took you.

"He hasn't? But how would you…. Wait, have you been spying on us?!"

"We were spying on the Grand Sage." Aizik swirls the jug of sake around before pouring another cup. "Imagine our surprise when we saw that the Light of Kshrewar shared a life with him.

"Our original plan was to nab the Grand Sage and demand payment from Kusanali. But you know, dealing with humans is much safer than dealing with gods. Gods can kill ya just by looking at you funny."

Kaveh, while he has never personally met Lord Kusanali, knows she is not so cruel. She would let Cyno and his unwavering morals deal with apprehending any criminals, then pass judgment based on evidence and give a fair punishment.

"I don't think you know your Archon very well," Kaveh says. 

Aizik shrugs.

Kaveh sighs. How did he get into this? He remembers Cyno escorting Tighnari from the bar, both lightly drunk. And while Kaveh had a bit of a buzz, it wasn't enough to pass out on the way home. His memories turn to fuzz, then, at the juncture of one drink and another. When he woke, he was already bound.

He tests the bonds now, wrists scraping against rope. They were tightened when his torso was bound. No wiggling out.

Aizik stands, lightly tapping Kaveh's cheek. "That's enough chit-chat for now. It's late, and we need some rest."

He motions for the Eremites to leave. Two of them stand back; probable guards appointmented in some way Kaveh didn't catch. "Boss," says the one with long hair, "shouldn't we move him to the steel cage? His Vision is Dendro…"

"Bah!" Aizik smacks him over the back. "You worried about the bench? Thing's wood, not grass. That tree's been dead for ten years! He won't be causing any trouble."

Both guards relax. Aizik begins to leave.

"Wait!" Kaveh shouts. "You're going to leave me tied up? I can't sleep like this!"

"Aww." Aizik walks back over to him and leans down. "If you want," he says, sneaking a hand down the back of Kaveh's shirt, "you can come to bed with me. Give ya a taste of life in the brothel."

Kaveh shivers at the touch, disgust rolling through his stomach. He grits his teeth against the bile that threatens to rise in his throat.

Aizik leans closer until he can shove his tongue into Kaveh's mouth.

Kaveh tries to stop himself. He really, truly does.

He bites. Hard. Hard enough to taste copper from blood that isn't his.

"Son of a bitch!" Aizik falls backwards, landing on his ass. Kaveh spits the blood to the floor between his legs.

Aizik rises and backhands Kaveh. His ring cuts another gash on his cheek. Both of his hands squeeze Kaveh's throat. "Think you're clever?" he seethes.

Kaveh's jaw drops, trying to breathe.

His vision darkens.

He's on the edge of unconscious when the hands pull away. He gasps, letting air fill his lungs. His head is still fuzzy, still unable to process the movement beside him.

It clears at the thunk! of a dagger.

One that's dangerously close to his hand.

He blinks up at Aizik, holding his right hand by the wrist. 

Aizik forces his palm flat against the table.

He drives the dagger through the middle.

Kaveh screams.

ʚїɞ

Cyno paces Alhaitham's office.

It's very distracting.

Not that he's been able to focus in the last three days.

"I know you two are stressed," Lord Kusanali begins, "but you must rest. Kaveh cannot be rescued if you are unable to fight."

"We will find him," Alhaitham says, "and we will be well enough to take him back. Trust me." He leans his elbows on his desk, hands clasped before his face. There's a darkness in his expression that Lord Kusanali also finds in Cyno's face.

She sighs. "This is a personal case for both of you. Just… try not to take things too far."

"I do not let personal matters cloud my judgement." Cyno hisses for perhaps the fifth time.

Lord Kusanali doesn't bother looking to Alhaitham. He cannot make such a promise. His fingers burn already with the desire to slit the throats of whoever conspired against him.

The ransom note sits on his desk.

5 million, 3 days written on a scrap of paper, the handwriting rough and unpolished. The other side is a crudely drawn map with an 'X' at the dropoff point.

Alhaitham doesn't have the mora. Nor does he plan to prepare it. He has Cyno. He has the matra. He has his own blade.

And he plans to put them all to good use.

ʚїɞ

The blood is sticky, even after it dries.

Kaveh thought blood flaked if it wasn't absorbed. But his fingers stick to the table.

Or perhaps he just can't lift them.

He's not sure if that's a physical limit or a mental one. The dagger still pins his hand to the table, after all. 

Aizik didn't bother to remove it when he left. And that was hours ago. Maybe days? Time has blurred together, marked only by the pain in his hand. (A deep throbbing at this point.)

His head spins. When did he eat last? When was he given any water? His stomach turns, far past the point of grumbling for food. He's not sure he'd be able to keep any down, anyway.

His own blood spreads across the table, puddled where spit-up sake once was.

Gods, is he glad he's ambidextrous. He won't be able to use his right hand to work for quite a while. Maybe never, if he doesn't get medical attention soon.

He won't get it from these mercanaries. He knows that much.

Kaveh finally tilts his head to the door of the chamber. Two guards — different than the ones left before — regard him with cold gazes before turning their backs to him.

What kind of idiot leaves a hostage in a room with an open doorway?

The same kind of idiot that ties a Vision bearer to the element of their Vision.

The wood is dead.

The Dendro inside it isn't.

Kaveh has felt it — small pulses of energy reacting to his Vision — since the moment he woke. It's just a little harder to manipulate than a live tree.

Every moment not spent in agonizing pain was focused on gathering that energy into his fingertips. His blood seeping into the wood helped, actually, to share his own energy with it. He’s managed to create a small blade in his left hand, no bigger than the dagger buried in his right.

The ropes slacken. Slowly, gently, he presses his left hand to the bottom of the table under his right. The wood dissolves, freeing his hand in a more silent, less painful way than pulling the dagger free. It’s still stuck through his palm, rendering his hand useless.

Kaveh wishes now more than ever he had learned to fight with a sword. Alhaitham has often offered, after sparring sessions that left them both winded and bruised, but he’s always declined. His claymore is enough, he’d said, and hits plenty hard.

Just a shame it takes two hands to wield.

Kaveh grabs the handle of the dagger and begins to force his own power into it. It doesn't take much until the dagger is his and he's able to dismiss it to the same space he keeps Mehrak and his claymore.

Blood drips from his hand. He can bend his fingers, but only a tiny bit. His grip is completely gone.

He glances at the door. Both guards ignore him.

His gaze travels the room. It's a plain space, no furniture save for the table and benches, and dimly lit by candles. There are, unfortunately, no windows. He'd been hoping to sneak out, but he has no option except to fight.

He summons the metal dagger and uses it to cut strips from his shirt. He wraps the strips around his right hand, using them to secure the dagger to it as well. Grip won't be a problem if the weapon is tied to him.

He ties the point opposite of his thumb. He doesn't want to give them a chance to use it against him.

He carefully slides the bench back. It makes a single scrape on the ground.

That's enough for one of the guards to turn.

Kaveh jumps over the table and punches him in the face before he can speak. Then he holds the metal blade to his throat.

"Not a word," he says to the other one, pointing his wooden knife at her. "Get the rope."

She lifts her spear and calls for backup.

Kaveh curses. He shoves the other guard at her. They both fall to the ground.

But there are footsteps ringing in the distance, coming from her direction.

Kaveh runs the other way. Eremites surge from every doorway he passes.

He loses count of how many he has to stab.

He only hopes they're not dead.

Kaveh only stops when he slams into a behemoth of a man.

The man lifts Kaveh by his shirt and slams him into the ground. He coughs, spittle flying into the air. There is going to be a huge bruise on his back tomorrow.

Or maybe he won't be covered in bruises tomorrow. Maybe he'll be dead long before then.

The man pins Kaveh with a knee on his chest and a hand on his throat. Kaveh stabs the man's arm with both blades. He only grunts.

Kaveh stabs again. And again. "Let go!" he shouts. "I don't want to kill you!"

"Killing is your only option," says a voice that makes Kaveh's skin crawl. Aizik leans over and pats the man's shoulder. "This one's more scared of me than he is death." He lowers the collar of the man's shirt to reveal a chest full of branding scars.

The man lifts Kaveh by the neck and carries him to a dining hall. A fire blazes against one wall.

Kaveh squirms as the remains of his shirt are ripped away.

"Now," Aizik says, pulling an iron poker from between the burning logs, "I don't have that particular seal here. But this will work just as well."

He jams the pointed red tip into Kaveh's side.

It burns.

Gods it burns!

It's the only thing he feels, the heat spreading up his ribs. He tries to scream, he tries to plead, but his lungs freeze. The best he can manage is a choked cry.

Aizik twists the poker deeper before he removes it. Kaveh hangs limp in the other man's arms. The scent of burning flesh rises to his nose, and it takes more than a moment to recognize it as his.

Aizik stabs his other side.

Somehow, that is worse.

Kaveh gasps when Aizik twists the poker again and throws it back into the fire.

Kaveh can't think. He can't even breathe.

"Come on," Aizik says to the man restraining him. "We'll put him in a proper cell this time. I'll teach him the same things I taught you."

No, Kaveh's addled mind objects. I won't go. The man shifts him, forces him to his feet with one hand around the back of his neck. I won't go!

His claymore appears between his captor's shoulder and elbow. The arm falls to the ground.

Kaveh falls with it. He rips the hand from his throat and dismisses the dagger.

He picks up his claymore, ignoring the pain in his back, his hand, his hips. Then he begins to swing.

Left.

Aizik shouts something.

Right.

He doesn't hear.

Left.

He doesn't see.

Down.

The sun warms his face.

He's out. He got out! He can run, now, run for help—

His feet slip in sand. He falls on his face.

He might as well have never felt hope with how quick it dissipates into the dry desert air.

He has no idea where he is.

He will never make it home.

He leans against his claymore to stand again. His makeshift bandages have fallen from his right hand; his blood makes it difficult to grip. Aizik and his Eremites exit a fortress ruin. Kaveh turns, claymore angled between them.

There are ten, fifteen of them? How is he going to fight?

Two arrows sink into his left arm. His claymore falls.

He grips his left shoulder with his right hand.

"Come now, Little Light," Aizik says. He has a sword in either hand, both leaning against his shoulders. "You can't survive on your own. You don't even know where the closest town is. Come back. I'll even let you join us!" Aizik twirls the blades around. "We have a few sudden openings in our ranks. Oh, but," he smiles with too much teeth, "I will have to punish you for creating them."

Fuck. Fuck! Did he– how many–

Kaveh's hands begin to shake. He shakes his head to distract from them. "I'm not going back."

"You are," Aizik says, "you don't have a choice." He eyes the arrows in Kaveh's arm. "You can't even hold your weapon."

Kaveh frowns.

He can't hold the claymore, true. But it is not his only weapon. He summons the dagger to his right hand.

Aizik laughs. "You can't fight us off with that!" He gestures to the roof of the ruins with his head. Lined across the top are a row of archers, crossbows aimed lazily for Kaveh.

Aizik is right. He can't fight.

But he can bargain.

He holds the point of the dagger to his own throat.

Aizik raises a brow. "What do ya think you'll achieve with that?" he asks. "We get the money either way."

Kaveh grits his teeth before he shouts. "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I know?" His chest heaves; he has to breathe before he can continue. "My best friends are the Head Forest Watcher of the Avidya Forest. The Acting Grand Sage. The General Mahamatra. What do you think happens if I die under your custody?"

He laughs, wild and frantic and half delirious. "It won't end well for you. They will hunt you down until your very last breath. It won't take long, either. Cyno's a master hunter. He will find you."

Kaveh presses the knife into his skin until a thin line of blood trickles down his neck. "Give me food and water, and then let me go. I won't say a word. I'll forget this ever happened."

It's a reach. Gods, is it a reach. But he is not scared if this is how he dies.

He's only scared of what they will do to him after. 

Aizik stares. For a long, torturous moment, he stares without saying anything. Then he smirks.

"Let them try."

Aizik lifts a sword from his shoulder to point to the sky. The archers ready their crossbows, hone their aim.

Kaveh shuts his eyes to offer one final, silent prayer. 

The result will be the same either way, a voice whispers, soft and sweet inside his head. Please, please, don't do this to yourself.

Yes, Kaveh agrees. Kaveh will die, right here and right now.

But there will be no more debt. There will be no debt, there will be no more drinking himself into a stupor, there will be no more annoying roommates.

Gods, if Alhaitham could see him now. Would he laugh? Would he mourn? Would he try to stop Kaveh, place himself between Kaveh and the thing that threatens his life?

Alhaitham is not here.

Kaveh will die, and his blood will spill across these sands, and his body will be carted off to the depths of the desert, and it will be used to feed vultures and coyotes and foxes.

And he will not give these mercenaries the satisfaction of killing him.

The trickle turns into a flow.

"You idiot!" Kaveh hears. He opens his eyes to green-tipped arrows flying above his head. The archers on the fortress drop their crossbows as their hands are pierced. 

The relief is sudden; it takes every ounce of restraint Kaveh has to not collapse.

Aizik's eyes widen. "Run!" he calls out. "Retreat!"

The mercenaries scatter. Some return to the fortress, likely to run from another exit. Others go around, only to run into waiting matra.

Aizik scans the dunes around them — he's been completely surrounded.

Kaveh drops his hand from his throat.

Aizik raises both of his and throws his swords straight at Kaveh.

He has no strength to block or dodge.

He doesn't need it.

A flash of purple fills his vision, and metal clashes against metal as the swords are knocked away. An impressive figure stands before Kaveh, his element dancing along his spear.

If Tighnari came for him, Cyno did as well.

This is when Kaveh allows himself to fall. His knees finally falter, and he crumples to the ground. Cyno spares him half a second — far more than the stoic general would allow any unknown stranger — before he shouts to someone behind them. "Get him out of here!"

Cyno waits until there are hands on Kaveh's waist to follow Aizik into the ruins.

Kaveh is thrown unceremoniously over someone's shoulder. He gasps as something hard and hot digs into the burn on his stomach.

"Wait," he chokes out, "please, stop. It hurts." 

The person slows, but doesn't stop. Kaveh grips at the cape swinging from their other shoulder…

Wait…

Wait! He knows that stupid fucking cape!

"Alhaitham?" he asks. Alhaitham turns his head to meet his gaze from the corner of his eye.

Kaveh blinks away tears. He starts laughing.

His vision blanks.

ʚїɞ

The woman above him is beautiful. She has rich dark skin that shines in the candlelight. Her hair is in tight curls, even darker than her skin. Her forehead is adorned with a silver-gold circlet, a crescent moon rising from the back of her head.

And her eyes — her eyes! One a deep blue, the other the color of amber. They are, perhaps, the most unique eyes Kaveh has ever seen.

Kaveh does not know who this woman is, but if he had to guess? One of those terrifyingly beautiful death gods Celestia sends to ease a soul's passing.

She must be able to read minds, because her mismatched eyes crinkle in a smile. "I am no god," she says, smoothing the hair from his forehead, "and you are not dead. Not even close."

He doesn't feel quite alive, though. Just breathing sends tremors of pain through his chest.

"Then who-?" he tries, but his voice rasps from his throat like it's filled with broken glass.

"Ah-ah," the woman says. She helps him sit and brings a glass of water to his lips.

Kaveh hisses at the pressure of her hand on his back. She whispers apologies.

"Well," he asks as she leans him to sit up against the pillows, "where am I?"

"Aaru Village," she answers. She puts a hand on her chest. "My name is Candace. I'm the guardian of this village."

"And what-what happened?"

He asks like he needs to be told. Like it isn't seared into his memory. Like the scars won't last forever. Like his body doesn't ache with the memory of pain.

Candace purses her lips before she answers. "Alhaitham brought you here after you passed out."

Alhaitham? Wait, no, that's right. It's the last thing he remembers, being carried off while thrown over Alhaitham's shoulder.

"How long has it been?" Kaveh asks.

"A day and a half. Your experience with the mercenaries must have worn you out." Candace sets another glass of water on the table beside the bed.

"You could say that." He lifts a hand to the bandages wrapped around his throat. Then he studies the ones around his right hand. He curls a finger, hissing when pain shoots up his arm. "How bad was the damage?" 

Candace frowns. "We don't have any healers here, nor do we have proper doctors. I patched you up while Alhaitham went to fetch one. The doctor was able to repair most of the damage, but there will be some lasting effects."

Ah. Great. Just what every artist wants to have: a permanent hand injury.

That's alright. It's okay. He's always drawn better with his left hand anyway. His right hand was always better for fighting. Kaveh isn't a bit close to panic.

(He really hopes Candace can't read minds.)

Candace holds his hand between hers. They blur behind a rush of tears.

"What about the mercenaries?" he asks. "What happened to them?"

At this, Candace gives a small smile. "Cyno is relentless. He found every single one that tried to escape." She rubs her thumb over his knuckles. "They won't be able to hurt you again."

Join us! We have a few sudden openings in our ranks.

"And what of the dead?"

She hesitates. She hesitates, and Kaveh's heart plummets.

"Candace," says a voice by the door. Alhaitham stands, arms folded across his chest as he leans against the doorframe. He is way too relaxed for someone who looked half-panicked a day ago.

Candace stares, and when did Alhaitham ever make friends? She nods and stands, leaving at some sort of silent request that Kaveh didn't think anyone else could read from Alhaitham.

Alhaitham takes her chair by his bed. Kaveh's heart pounds.

"You came for me," he struggles to say. He struggles to keep it at that, to not ask why he would do such a thing.

Alhaitham pulls an apple from his pocket and summons a small knife. "I did," he answers only after he begins to peel it.

Kaveh has always had a terrible poker face. He knows this, and he knows this is why he often loses games against anyone. Questions burst in his throat, whether out of curiosity or guilt or some unknown aspect of being a scholar.

"Two were killed in battle with the matra," Alhaitham says before they can choke him. "Two more took their own lives to avoid punishment." 

“And the others?”

Alhaitham hasn’t broken the peel yet.

“I know there are others, Alhaitham. He said so.”

Alhiatham does not lie. Nor is he cruel. He is simply blunt, and he does not hesitate to deliver bad news. It is best to get it dealt with quickly, if you ask him.

So why, why oh why, has he decided to shave off another three inches of peel before he asnwers?

“They were criminals, Kaveh,” he whispers.

If there is a right thing to say — if, if, if — that is not it. That implies that there were other deaths, that the fleeting hope he had of Aizik lying was false. That there is blood on his hands that he has no hope of washing away.

“How many?” Kaveh asks, hands pressed into his temples.

“They were trying to kill you,” Alhiatham says.

“I have a right to know.”

The peel falls to the floor in one long strip. Alhaitham cuts the apple into slices. His lips thin. He's unsure of his words; a rare sight for a scholar of any kind, much less Haravatat. Much much less Alhaitham.

“Four,” he says finally. “Four were already dead when we arrived,”

Kaveh gasps. “Four?” he chokes out, “Four?”"

He doesn't even remember. All he remembers is blood and pain and the sting of desperation in his veins.

He curls in on himself. His fingers clutch the front of his oversized shirt.

"Hey," a soft voice whispers. There is a weight on the bed beside him, and hands unfurling his fists. Someone shushes him, a gentle thumb running under his eye to catch his tears. He finds his face buried in the dark fabric of that stupid cape. A hand sits on the back of his head, another holds his fingers out straight.

Kaveh curls his left arm around Alhaitham.

And then he sobs.

There are so many things running through his head, his heart, his soul. Relief fights with fear fights with grief. And above it all, looming over him as it has his entire life, guilt.

The guilt of losing his father.

The guilt of selling his childhood home over one stupid mistake.

The guilt of living in Alhaitham's house, wasting Alhaitham's time, ruining Alhaitham's life.

And now that he's ruined four others…

"Please," Alhaitham says, "please don't mourn them."

Do-don't mourn? Them?!

How does Kaveh explain that they are not the cause of his mourning? That, as much guilt as he's felt in his life, he knows it will wash away in time, sculpted into a facet of himself in the same way as all his other attributes:

His blond hair and red eyes.

His genius architecture.

His kind heart, much too large and much too soft, that cares for every being that crosses its path.

Save for four.

He sees nothing when he thinks of them. Not their names, not their faces. Not their deaths. Nor does he feel any remorse for the families his mind would fabricate had they been anyone elase.

There is nothing, not even the spark of relief.

How can he mourn someone he has no feelings for?

How can he explain that he is able to understand that he should be upset, but isn't?

It is not guilt, this time, that causes him to fracture.

It is the absence of it.

[wolfgene92]

Super Junior: The Last Man Standing

I have been delaying and just paying for subscription in Disney+

I am not mentally and emotionally ready to watch the first , the success , the heartbreak , the pain and the triumphs of that idol that supposed to be replaced in three months group.

It feels so superficial why you remain loyal in a group. Ah! Because I was in that darkest place, that bad thoughts. And that temptation to END it because it's painful.

I remember going to that stage getting my diploma and the person I want to be there so much isn't there.

I did not cry, I keep telling myself...it's okay, your paps here. It's okay even if you missed your brother so much. Don't complain, don't cry, you aren't that special for your mother to be there.

Every success, I undermine and think it's isn't enough, it's so little and normal. Because that's how I feel growing up. You need to constantly follow what they ask you or you get whip , force to kneel down in salt or worst the beans and it's painful but I never cried. It's pride! Endure it!

After graduation in highschool, I cut that black straight hair that my mom's love so much.

That's the extreme thing I did, but you might hear I did drugs or whore myself in my early teen. I mean my mom's believe her friend more that her daughter. And I didn't try to say otherwise. What's the point explaining? When that person you believe would ask you first before accusing you in the phone just right up threatened to just kill you if shes back. But it's okay, you are numb at this point, you deserve that , you aren't really a good daughter. So it's okay! Suck it up!

And when I thought the dark times can't be anymore darker. Life laugh at you throwing the most painful punchline. What you experience it's just the tip of a larger heart wrenching iceberg we called life.

It gets worst , excruciatingly worst but thru this times. I was watching that cringy idol group on suit dancing sorry sorry. And one of the reason why I am here still and not giving up. I promise to buy their album, to have my own money to support them because at those darkest time, I was singing my heart out, laughing so loud and slowly that light penetrates in that crack.

Yes I was broken , but in those cracks I see light sipping through. I found my solace , hope because these group I follow went thru the most heartbreaking event in their life but all of them are so tenacious to stop. They keep going, and so did I, I continue anticipating more pain 😆

Fast-forward , it gets better , it's gets stagnant, and then life whisk you a little bit of obstacle, detour and letting you get lost but you get back up because your compass is set , inside your heart, you only need to look ahead , move forward and bring your annoying mind in the game. Never ever leave it, there is a reason why our brains is higher than our hearts.

If you ask me if I could wish for anything to change , No because this trauma , abuse and pain builds me. It wasn't so bad at all. As I said I'll be okay, it's okay.

I ain't stoping my tears anymore as a grown adult. I cry in a heartbeat both in happiness and sadness.

you will continue to learn, to understand yourself, to stop hating yourself, to heal yourself. Your

[manifestations-of-mythology]

Cynocephali, Live Más

The harsh light of morning woke me, rudely. It was such a fine dream I was having, and I found myself looking forward to my day far less than I was last night. I could be angry, but at whom? The sun? I only had myself to blame for not mounting the shades in the windows of my new bedroom the night before. I resolved to do that tonight, no matter how tired I might be from my first day at work. I also resolved to move my feet and arms, which preferred the warmth of my bed, for several minutes before my mind won out over my body.

I arose, and shambled into my bathroom after setting off the coffee maker. At least I had not forgotten to set that up. As groggy as I felt, I’d be in real trouble if I had. It was clear to me that I hadn’t adjusted to the time change, either. I splashed water over my head, and went about combing my curly locks into place, as well as I could. There were so many times I’d wished that the hair on my head blended in better with the rest of it, but mom liked it. I wish more people did; I’m not picky. But that was hardly my only deficit. I took my short brush, and worked the rest of the hair on my face, ridding myself of pillow swirls and loose guard hairs. I looked up and grinned in the mirror: a tired brown dog with a blonde clown wig on. Wonderful.

After three hard boiled eggs and three cups of coffee, I gathered the tools of my trade, and the inescapable accessories of my speech impediment. This talking board was a gift, and was a big step up from the plastic one I’d used for so many years. It was thin, and made of very solid aluminum. It also had many more of the tiny glass beads filled with iron oxide under the writing surface, which meant the text you could write on it was much cleaner. And images, as well. I had spent the evening sketching on it instead of installing my shades, as I should have. I erased my line drawing of a lamp with a push of a button, and it vanished in a flash. But, not before saving it with the push of another button in the row there at the bottom. This one could store hundreds of notes. Dad must be proud of me; this board was much nicer than the one that took me through school. I knew this thing wasn’t inexpensive.

I could have walked to work, but I decided to show up a bit early. Thankfully, I wasn’t late for the trolley, and I hopped aboard just as it started off. I took a strap, and was thankful there was another person like me, towards the back of the car. She was an older woman, scarf over her ears, with groceries in tow in a folding rolling cart. We exchanged a friendly glance, but not a smile; bared teeth weren’t always welcome in mixed company. The hair on her cheeks was not unlike the color of the hair on my head, but a glance under her scarf was enough to confirm that the hair on her scalp wasn’t some wild other color, like red or something. Though, women often dye their hair… men too, nowadays. Should I dye my hair? 

I almost missed my stop, thinking about what color to go for. I hopped out, and walked confidently into the construction site. I was new here, but I was a master of my craft. By training, at least. My confidence was also bolstered by the fact that I knew most of my fellows would be worth talking to. It’s always easier to feel at ease amongst your own, especially when your differences are so apparent.

“Ah, the new hire!” An older man barked out. He pulled down his dust mask, to reveal a vast bush of black hair about his snout, marked by streaks of grey. “I’m Tan-Kat, the foreman. Your dad is an old friend of mine, we, uh, trained together before he got it into his mind to be an architect.” I knew this much, of course. This connection was why I was here; dad had sent a letter to his old friend about me, and my recent graduation into the craft. I was hired after a phone interview, which was very flattering. 

Now, the burly old dog was clapping my back, and adding a nice coat of light grey stone dust to my jacket, which was thankfully made of the traditional undyed white cotton. That tone matched fine with any type of stone dust; it was convenient for this work, and I knew where I’d be working. I thought I had dressed well for the day, but the foreman did not share my opinion about my outfit. “You’re gonna hate that jacket, though. It’s way too hot today, especially working over basalt, and you’ll have no protection for your waist without that jacket. You’ll be down to that shirt in no time, I guarantee it.” Tan-Kat was bare chested, with a cape about his shoulders that went down below his waistline to keep the dust out. The front was protected by the traditional apron. It was a very old fashioned outfit. Hardly anyone went bare chested any more, at least not outside the homeland. “Now, your dad put that thing down, for the square; how did you happen to pick it up?”

“Well, I love music, and I got to playing with the stoneworkers who dad used to hire for his projects… and I got good at the instrument.” I shrugged. “I prefer the oboe, though.” This phrase did not rhyme nearly as well as a series of barks and chirps. I also did not mention that I had taken to a weird plastic sax-oboe-thing in recent years, just because it was easy to keep and use. I had one in my bag, along side the instrument I was obligated to carry. I could easily tell that a geeky conversation about music wouldn’t do with Tan-Kat, and we were right down to business.

“Well, we’re not here for easy listening. We’re here to be better than a tone generator that any fool can use.”

“Oh, if you work the thing right, it has a musical… aspect?”

“Not with this stone, kid; get ready to make some harsh noises.” He wasn’t wrong, the ribbons of quartz in this basalt made it hard to carry on the level. I almost tipped the first block on its side, before I regained control. But I smoothed out my performance by mid-day, and my playing had more of a pleasing warble than a harsh overtone. The other player was taking notes from me by lunch. It was flattering, and I enjoyed the attention, but she might have just been trying to be friendly to the new guy.

This sort of work arrangement wasn’t unusual; immigrants from the home lands still stuck out in this country, and it was easier to communicate and work harmoniously this way. Of course, people thought we were keeping secrets, which was easier to believe with our unique language and religion. And our faces, which we could hardly hide. It could be worse, and we all knew it. Past immigrations of this sort had, at times, gone horribly wrong. But, our skills were in demand here. And we had the same rights as any other person, here. In theory. I also remembered how often that theory would be tested back in my home state of Wyandote. We dog heads usually kept to ourselves, even the ones who were born and raised here, as I was.

“Hey, new kid.” A very large and rather good looking hound, in white and black furs, had interrupted my lunch and my reverie. The practical and protective white zip up jumper he was wearing under his apron looked very good on him, and I was torn between admiration and envy. “Uh, Bart-Ao? Right? I’m Tao-Cha. I think you met my wife, she’s the other player.” Darn, and also darn. Maybe I wouldn’t be a home wrecker if… no, I’m not that daring. “You’ve got a call.  You can take it in the back office.” He shot me a huge grin, which was welcome, and also didn’t help. “It’s your dad. Making sure Olympia hasn’t killed his son, I recon.” I wanted to groan, but that wouldn’t be giving off the air of mature professionalism I was aiming for, so I just thanked him and walked off to take the call.

•••

“Son! How’s the apartment?” I wanted to answer, but he didn’t let me. I was in the ‘back office,’ which was an air conditioned trailer the Foreman would retreat to for doing the maths and the billing. I was amused that he seemed to have no embarrassment at his preference for the standard model woman, judging by the swimsuit model cut outs pasted on his filing cabinet. Though, I noticed one of them was our own hometown beauty, Chae-Ka. She was blessed with a flat face, as we sometimes are, but still had the full fur coat. I guess some people like that. 

I could take or leave her face, or her furs, but having heard her speak I knew I was jealous of her voice. She had no trouble speaking the more common languages, lucky girl. I would give half my teeth to be able to speak Albionese, as most of the people in this country did. But I would have to deal with merely understanding, reading and writing it. It felt like a curse. I returned from my thoughts to find my father had gone on, but I don’t think I had missed anything yet. “… I know, it was sight unseen, but Khit-Ao, she’s your cousin, right? She said that place was great, and the views are nice, so…” 

“Yeah, the place has good views.” I interjected. The sun sure had a clear shot at my face this morning. “And, the appliances are new, that’s really nice.” They weren’t top of the market, but they were new. I didn’t mention this, because I didn’t have a chance. Dad must be really excited for me.

“Ah, great, and Tan-Kat, he’s not giving you any shit, is he?”

“Dad, I’m literally in his office, and…” Dad laughed, and continued.

“As if he would give a shit, he’s an old friend.”

“OK, fine, and no. He’s been fine. And… I’m alone in here too.” It felt like almost a lie to suggest he was present, and I knew better than to lie to dad. He always just… knew. It was terribly frustrating. “Tan-Kat seems to like the flat faces.”

“Don’t call them that around him, and don’t insult his wife when she shows up by using your board.” What could this mean? I took note, and moved on as fast as my father did. “Olympia isn’t like Wyandote, Bart. Try to fit in. With everyone, OK?”

“Sure, dad. I seem to have a good start? Look, I should get back to work. Love you.”

“Love you, too. I’m so proud of you, you’re so much better at the art than I was. Or Tan-Kat; he does math ever since he broke someone’s legs real bad with a foul note. Be careful!” And he hung up.

The rest of the day went without incident, and I got a warm send off from everyone in my new crew before we left for the day. It was a ritual of back clapping and happy chirps I’d been through a few times before, but it was welcome. I felt welcome. At least, here amongst my own kind. I took a moment to ask Tao-Cha about his neat jumper, and did my best to not make it seem like a flirt, since his wife was right there. It was an honest question; Tan-Kat was right about my attire. I had to ditch the jacket almost immediately, and by lunch I already had basalt and quartz dust in my underwear. By the time we hit the showers at the end of the day, it was agonizing. 

I had a fresh set of clothes in my bag, so I changed into them in the locker room after my shower. The jacket didn't fit in my bag, so I would have to wear it home. This facility was in the other set of trailers, with the lockers and the break room. Everyone had their own stall to wash and change in, which seemed almost extravagant, but we did get paid well for our work. No one else could lay a foundation that would last for centuries in a few days, like we could. The whiz kids with their tone generators would have to move much faster if they wanted to really compete with our well oiled machine, but we did feel their breath on our necks some days. Slow, steady and cheap might really win the race, if we aren’t careful. It often does, even against the most confident of opponents. 

I was so distracted with this train of thought as I walked out, I almost ran right into a lovely middle aged woman, in a red and black sun dress. She was of the standard model, and had yellow nail polish on to compliment her dark brown skin. In my confusion, I spoke without thinking.

“Oh, sorry!” I barked out. I realized my mistake, and started to sign with my hands, before I was interrupted.

“Oh, don’t you worry, young man. Have you seen Tan-Kat?” She said his name so well, and she understood me! And… she called me a man, without a moment of hesitation. I instantly understood my father’s warning, from earlier. I suppose a preference for differences can go either way.

“I haven’t seen him since I hit the showers.” I said this slowly, but I said it. It felt weird.

“I have no talent for your language, but I understand it just fine.” She smiled. “Are you the new player?” I nodded, an ever useful universal word, and she continued, “Oh, Tan was so excited about you. I’m Jade.” I thought I had misheard, but I had no way of checking. Jada seemed more likely. But then I saw her green eyes, and I understood. “Productivity has been nearly halved since old Kaon-Ah had to retire. You’re Kut-Ao’s son, right?”

“Yeah, he got me this job, through your husband. I’m still getting used to Olympia, I’ve hardly had a chance to see it yet.” Switching languages from side to side was starting to feel natural, already. This must be how the two of them converse every day. It seems romantic, actually.

“Oh, it’s lovely here, be sure to check out the overlook park… Powell’s Butte, I think. If you have a chance. Go early, there’s always a crowd. Yeah… your dad.” She flashed me a sly grin, “Do you know how close the two of them used to be? If Tan hadn’t run into me, I’m sure he’d still be a bachelor, and I’m sure the two of them would have somehow ended up back together again. You’d have missed out on that deal, I think.” And we laughed. I had no idea, but it made sense; there was hardly a sliver of light between the two of them in all of the old photos I’d seen. It was nothing to be ashamed of.

•••

On the way home, I skipped the trolley and took a walk. The autumn evening was fine, and I felt the need to see the city a bit before I got a bite to eat… and put up those blinds. As I passed one of the many parks here, I admired the crowd of people there picnicking and playing music under the trees. There were four bands I could see, spread about, trying their best not to break each other’s beat. The one nearest to me was lacking a horn player, but I kept walking. But then, I broke my stride and walked back. I may never know why.

I had my horn in hand before I arrived, which silently answered my reason for appearing. But, I knew this wouldn’t be enough, so I wedged it under my arm and pulled out the tablet, scribbling down a few things quickly before replacing the pen in its magnetic field on the side of the device. That was so much nicer than the pen clip I was used to.

“Hi! I play. You’re between songs? Want to jam?” I gave them a few moments to read, before I tried to judge their faces. Moments later, I was relieved to see they liked the idea, even before they opened their mouths.

“You’re a new face. Hey, I’m Nikita.” Nikita was a woman with olive skin, who had a face I couldn’t quite pin an age on. A very fine face, though, and it radiated a sort of warm hospitality.  Or perhaps that was her smile. Her hair was an unnatural shade of pinkish red, and she was dressed in a mix of sports clothing, adorned with pins, patches and paraphernalia. Most everyone in the park had on a similar outfit, which took the form of either a silky half cape with a t-shirt and a sports wrap, or a light poncho with shorts. Either choice of garment seemed so much more comfortable than the jacket I had on. I was reminded that I was overdressed even for work, and I felt the hair on my cheeks stand up with embarrassment. In that moment I felt terribly out of place, but Nikita smiled, and then I did not. “Kosta is on the harp, Simon is on the kalimba…”

“Synths dead. Piles are dead.” Simon interjected. They were a lanky person, about my age I’d guess, with pale skin and short brown hair. They were either a tall somewhat masculine woman, or a slim man with an unnaturally gorgeous face and a delicate voice. In either case, they looked like a rock star. Especially posed as they were, upon and surrounded by three large black musicians bags that probably contained those various electrics. The tiny fingerboard instrument in Simon’s hands seemed like an afterthought.

“Yeah, he does fine on that, though.” He, ah ha! OK, good to know. “Ithicus has the drums.” Ithicus seemed cut from the Norse pattern I was very familiar with, back in Wyandote, which led me to wonder how he got a name from the Mediterranean. I suspected his parents worshiped different gods than most of my neighbors back home. He was so stocky that he reminded me of a cornerstone, which was only emphasized by the comfy looking blue and green poncho he was wearing. This reached to the ground about where he sat, and served to make him look like a very colorful boulder. He had pale skin, like Simon, but his coloration couldn’t be more different otherwise. The hair on his head was not unlike mine; blonde and wavy. It laid down his back nicely, instead of rudely standing at attention like mine did. The hair on his skin was considerably less dense than mine, except atop his lip, where he wore an impressively thick mustache. All of it matched his head. Blonde looked so much better on him, but before I had time to be jealous he smacked the transparent skins of his travel drum set, joyously. Then, I was smiling along with him without a care. I noticed my mistake, and I quickly corrected.

“Dude, I’ve seen that before. Don’t hide your smile.” Someone who had not been introduced was better at reading my face than I expected, and I took note of him. He was dark skinned, but not that dark. Perhaps Egyptian? His hair was black and dense on both his face and chest. Not that much less dense than mine, though I’m sure he had no undercoat. “My ex-girl used to hide her smile all the time, bugged me.” He extended his hand, over his guitar, “I’m Adio. Some people call me Adios, if they are leaving.” We all laughed, again. I took his hand, briefly, and we shook vigorously. I found his smiling face was too fine to look at. It was breathtaking, and the rest of him wasn't bad either. His outfit did little to conceal his body, and it was very well formed: broad, muscular and taut. I had a hard time judging his height, but perhaps a bit taller than I? Better than 180 cm, at least. “But man, you can smile, go ahead. Tell me your name, though. You know all of us now.”

“Bart-Ao” I scribbled out, quickly. I turned my board and gave them a moment.

“Oh! Hi Bart.” Simon said. I started to write a correction, but Adio beat me.

“They usually go by the whole name. First and last, unless you’re real close.”

“Oh, uh… Bart-Ow?” Simon corrected himself. It was close. Close enough, really; our vocal equipment was not at all the same. I responded with a smile, and a few quick riffs on my horn, as I made sure the fingerboard was in order. It wasn’t my intention to start a song, but there we were, moments later, joined in a… sloppy first run improv jazz piece. It was immensely joyous, and everyone had a smile on their face by the wandering ‘end’ of it, even I. 

“OK, so… what’s that?” Ithicus had a question about my horn, and I wrote out my answer on the board, with a cute little illustration because I’m fast on the thing.

“It’s from Nippon. It’s kind of a sax / oboe. It’s also plastic and tough.” That I can ‘speak’ a slash is a nice time saver. Under this I had dashed out a quick illustration of the rising sun, which they are so fond of on those islands.

“You don’t need a different reed or anything for… uh?” Nikita was trying her best to be polite, and I appreciated this. I shook my head in response, and started writing again.

“Our mouths are perfectly talented, it’s our vocal cords which are lacking.” This might be interpreted as flirty, but I didn’t care. Maybe it was. Everyone laughed, so if it was a flirt I might have hit everyone. I still didn’t care.

“The pig people of the steppes have more talented mouths.” Oh my, Adio is an adventurous soul! Pig people is the name everyone had arrived at, in Albionese at least. It seemed perilously close to an insult, but they took it well, so long as you didn’t call them pork or bacon. They didn’t differ much from the standard man, except in their noses and teeth. I suppose they have a bit of a snout, too, but not like we do. Sometimes they have pointy ears, too, but never a speech impediment. They came from the steppes of Rus, but now they are all over the Turtle Island too, in pockets here and there.

“Oh, like your last squeeze?” Simon played two chords on his kalimba, and I could almost see Eros stringing his bow. “He’s been giving you eyes across the park all evening.” Simon motioned with his eyes, and I was treated to an impressively large specimen about 40 meters away, in an open topped pair of overalls. His darkly tanned skin matched the color of his hair nicely, such that they blended together a bit, and his musculature was very pleasant to gaze upon. So many people complain that the pig people are ugly, but I was thoroughly convinced otherwise, in that moment. The impressively beautiful standard woman who was sitting next to him seemed nonplussed that his gaze was in our direction, and even less so when he winked at our group, as we conspicuously looked back. Apparently, a taste for differences was somewhat common, around here. Adio shrugged, we laughed, and we played a few more songs.

Looking around as we played, I saw the rainbow of humanity before me, joined together in such joy, and I felt something fall away that I had never known to have a grip upon me. It was like my heart breaking, in reverse. Every type of human was there, and every face as well. Even a family of the Clan of Wukong were present, having a nice picnic and listening to one of the bands. I wondered if they were immigrants, or visitors from China. You could hardly tell they weren’t just another regular human, besides the fact that the wife and child also had beards. And the tails, of course. We, sometimes, would be so blessed, but more rarely. They are rather proud of their tails, I hear.

My revere was broke just as we concluded another improvised tune. My mouth and hands had done well, even if my mind was elsewhere. Or, perhaps I had played out a bit of what was on my mind, and what no longer weighed on my heart, as there were tears in the eyes of everyone present. The mood passed with an exclamation.

“Gods, I’m hungry.” Ithicus seemed to be speaking for my stomach, as well, which replied with a loud growl. Not the sort of sound a dog head cares to make in a group of those not of their kind, but they didn’t seem to even notice.

“We could hit the Taco Bell, round the corner?” Simon said. This was a great idea, that all of us clearly loved, except for one of us which had another feast in mind.

“Uh, I think… I might…” Adio slung his guitar over his back as he arose, and then tossed his cable and his tiny amp speaker thing into Simon’s electrics bags. They must play together, most of the time. Then Adio walked right over to his last squeeze, like a man on a mission, and with a few words made him his current one once again. The mountain of a man leapt to his feet and followed him out of the park, hand in hand. If there hadn’t been such an intense look between them, there, I might have run after them. I’m not usually up for a fling, but that looked like fun. However, I know better than to step on Love’s toes, even if I worship no god. The young lady who was by his side flipped her hands into the air, in disgust, and proceeded to converse with the woman next to her. She was a good bit away, but they were both facing me, and I’m good at reading lips.

“Did… my date just walk off with the cute guy?” She said.

“You’re the one who pointed him out.” Her friend was very amused.

“No, they knew each other…”

“Yeah, did you see that look? I’d say they’ve known each other a lot.” Now her friend was laughing, but the jilted date wore a mild look of shock.

“Wait, was I the bounce? He was bouncing back from ‘cute guy’?! I’m not the bounce! I’m the bouncer, not the bounce-e!” Her hands were doing a lot of talking here, even in front of her face, but I’m sure I got that right.

“Girl, you didn’t even get a bounce. You were the awkward ‘I still love him’ date.” In response to this the one pushed the other over. Not hard; they must love each other like sisters, to talk like that. I, too, was very amused.

•••

“Do you… know Taco Bell?” Simon was trying to be kind, but it was a silly question. The ringing bell, which I could see in five different directions from our place in line, was as familiar a symbol to me as the basket of fruit on my underwear. Was it my stupid jacket that made me seem like such an outsider?

“I came from Wyandote, not the moon.” I wrote. I also drew the moon, real quick, along with a goofy face on it. This was to soften the blow, since sarcasm is so hard to convey with text alone. I turned the board, and a beat later everyone let out a few guffaws, and Simon got a strong pat on the back from Ithicus. The underlying joke, about the bull-shit story our sailors used to tell men who got too curious about where we lived, was for me alone.

As I ate my burritos, tacos being far too awkward to eat in a crowd of standard humans, I had a few moments to digest my thoughts from earlier. I was shocked to realize that I had never really been at one with people who were unlike me, before. Sure, I’d gone out to eat, or engaged in social events, but where we were in the minority I’d always felt like an outsider. Sitting here, and sharing this meal with these wonderful people I’d just met, I felt the weight of everything I’d been missing. I must have stopped chewing for a moment, because someone noticed my inner turmoil.

“Are you… All right?” Ithicus seemed genuinely concerned. Now, outside of the glaring light of Adio, I could see that he was quite handsome, himself. If you like block shaped people… Do I like block shaped people? Looking back at his concerned face, I felt like I easily could. But then, I almost choked, and had to awkwardly swallow the half bite I had in my mouth. He was on his feet before I was done, and I waved him back into his chair. That was sweet, of him, even if he was the cause of it. I took to my board to explain.

“I’m not used to this. People mix better here than back home. It’s nice.” Writing out your thoughts forces you to be direct, sometimes.

“Yeah, I’ve been to Wyandote. Lots of people there are… a bit cold?” Nikita took a swig of Pom and Lime Mt. Dew, as if to wash down her words.  “They take after their gods. You probably didn’t get to see them cut loose, since y’all tend to keep your own faith.” Nikita knew more about us than I had anticipated. If it was from that stupid documentary five years ago, I’d have to correct a few things, but I appreciated the curiosity.

“Yeah, we don’t call out to gods, we worship the four principles of the universe as concepts. It’s pretty dry, actually.” I wrote out. I then wiped it, after everyone nodded, and continued writing. Ithicus had a point to make in the mean time.

“I see a few dog heads at the Temple of Dio. You don’t all hew to it.” Ithicus had a good point, so I deleted what I was writing and wrote something different; a minor advantage of this form of communication.

“Our lack of a god is no more jealous than Dio is. He throws a good party, I hear.” I almost wrote out his old name; that would be a faux pas. He had manifested some thirty years ago at the after party in every single temple, and told everyone assembled that they were all, really, his friends, and they should just call him Dio from now on, like his friends do. They gave up changing his monuments after a bit, and just took to underlining the first three letters of his name on existing depictions of the god. 

“Oh yeah, it’s a great party.” Simon was, apparently, also familiar with the temple. “Only at the evening service, the one in the morning has kids and the afterparty is… There is cake?” Everyone laughed again. “I mean, the parents are usually smoking out back in the woods during the cake, they need a break.” Oh, that’s true, he was more or less the god of all intoxicants. That’s convenient; alcohol was going out of fashion, since it wrecks you so badly if you drink it in any quantity. Well… non-hallucinogenic drugs. I suppose Hecate gets those. Though, all the gods are pretty trippy. “Oh, and don’t go to the Freyday service by accident, that’s the cult of the Nazarene. They’re kinda dry. I mean, you might like that.”

“Who?” I wrote out. It was so fast it was barely slower than actually saying it.

“Who?” Nikita said, just as I turned my board. Nikita was, apparently, not so familiar with the temple, or this figure of worship. Well, not that temple. There were a lot of them, and she had cute pins depicting half a dozen gods on her purse. So, she might not be too picky, like the gods.

“It’s fun.” Ithicus said, “So they have an incarnation of Krishna, you’re probably familiar with that concept.” One great enclave of my people was in the land where that name was frequently spoken. So yes, of course. I nodded in response, as it was much quicker than writing all of that out. “Ok, they say he was born in the Mediterranean, around Palestine, in a town called Nazareth. Everyone was trying to kill him his whole life, but not for any good reason. He only went around telling people to be kind to each other, and to try and see things from each other’s perspectives. Oh, and healing people and stuff. Eventually, after even the King failed to kill him, Dio’s grandpa had a try at it." Simon was clearly confused by this point, and he interjected.

"Wasn't that his dad?” Simon said.

"He thought he was everyone's father, he was nuts. But, their family tree… it looks like a circle. The priests were arranging all of that, and they were also nuts back then.” Ithicus thought this to be funny, and he stifled a giggle. It was probably less funny at the time. Nikita had a keen observation to share, in this moment.

"So, it's a compromise… just to make it easier to preach about?" Nikita may be unaware of the particulars of Dio's local temple, but she certainly understood how a religion works.

"Yeah, a compromise. I mean, Dio says he's pretty sure Apollo was his father. We generally take his word, despite the tree." Ithicus shrugged, and we all had a sip of soda before he continued. It's nice when the gods themselves manifest to clear up a liturgical dispute. It’s hard to imagine how a silent god could keep his flock from flying to pieces, honestly. They'd probably end up killing each other. "Well, 'grandpa' fails, and the Nazarene flees to the east with his disciples, where old thunder and lightning can’t get at him. He tried to kill Dio, too. His grandpa. They have that in common.” As I recall, that god tried to kill almost everyone, and managed it rather often. No one worshiped him anymore; not in public, at least. I had a question for the table, so I wrote it out.

“So. Dry. No wine?” This was a better joke than I had thought, and when the table recovered Simon had a surprising answer.

“Oh no, Dio and the Nazarene have that in common, too. Wine. Diluted for the kids, of course.” Of course. We took the chance of this natural pause to eat more of our meal before it got cold.

I could tell something was bothering Nikita, though. Eventually, she put down her… what is that thing? A cheesy hexagon? I knew the logo well enough, but maybe not the menu. She put it down, wiped her mouth, and spoke. “The people in Wyandote, how cold they are… I’m sure they knew you are human.” Nikita was more confident than I. I took a moment, then wrote my reply, which took a few more.

“I wish I could be so confident. Every time some group of people decided we aren’t human, they murder us. It’s pretty consistent.” It’s a good thing there was never been some central authority to declare us as ‘not human.’ That would have been the end of us. [Note:  The Etymologies of St. Isidore of Seville: Book 11. Chapter 3. Sections 9-15, Regarding the ‘Monster’, and the ‘Unnatural Being’ ]

“That’s… heavy, man. A lot to carry on your shoulders.” Nikita’s sentiment seemed to be shared by everyone. We had all stopped eating, as there was too much to digest in that moment. Thankfully, we were mostly done. I nodded, and wrote out a few additional thoughts.

“We’ve always had to fight to be seen as men, but when we raise our fists you call us beasts.” Or, when we try to talk, even though it is very clearly speech. There was no reply to this, so I wrote a quick follow up, "I’m guess I’m putting down that weight. Trying?”

“Well, if you need friends, here in Portland…” Ithicus was so kind.

“Yeah, we’re here for you, you seem to be pretty great actually.” Nikita seemed pretty great, too, as was her glorious smile.

“Next time, I’ll have some extra charged piles. Thorsday, same time same frequency?” Simon was so kind, as well. I smiled and nodded; it was a date. “Oh hey, I always get too many tacos, you want one?” This seemed improper, but it was as if Ithicus had read my mind.

“You already sat yourself with your back to the restaurant,” Ithicus had noticed that? I’d done it without thinking. “We’re not afraid of your teeth, come on.” I took a taco. When I was done, Nikita had another observation.

“Your mouth doesn’t look like a dog’s. Not at all, and your ears… they’re kinda right, but they are on the sides of your head. At least the pig people look like pigs, who named you?” I always thought we looked more like the tree kangaroos that live in New Holland, but we are definitely not marsupials. I pondered my answer for a moment, and wrote out my reply as Simon cleaned up the wrappers.

“Some people in Hellada thousands of years ago called us dog heads and it stuck. We used to do a lot of trade in the Mediterranean. Mostly jewelry. We’re still good at that. We call ourselves the Lost Children of the Solar Empire.” I shrugged; the name looked incredibly goofy written out in Albionese.

“That doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.” Simon was right, but he was wrong. Quickly, and at a controlled volume, I spoke out the name of our people in our language. It was much quicker, and a bit like a brief tone poem. 

“I kinda want to clap, but I won’t.” Nikita was using a practiced tone of boredom, that she was clearly using to mask her delight. In fact, everyone was delighted, and this filled me with with a weird mix of shock and joy. I was even more shocked when Kosta spoke, for the first time that day.

“You’re great on that horn thing.” Kosta said, her voice lightly accented by the language of the Rus. “I thought it looked like plumbing, and then you made me cry.” Kosta was an older woman, with more than a few lines on her face, who had a talent for the harp, and for fading in to the background. Every band, even impromptu ones in the park, needs an older person to keep them from acting like a bunch of fools. Everyone knows that. She was wearing a lovely knit hat with floppy edges, and a heavily embroidered blue silk suit which looked comfy enough to sleep in. “Don’t you miss that date, or I’ll bite you!” She snapped at the air, viciously, and it was adorable. 

“Auntie, I can’t take you anywhere.” Nikita threw her arm over her shoulder. “Mom says I’m babysitting her.” I waited for Kosta to laugh, before I joined in. I didn’t want to harsh this feeling, with these wonderful people. Whatever it is, it’s intoxicating, and I’m sure it wasn’t in the food. Maybe I can ask Dio about that, later. All of this gave our hasty goodbyes a rosy, dream-like quality, after I helped them load their things onto the trolley for the trip. I couldn’t let Simon carry all three of those bags, again. It was painful to watch. I was so out of it, I’m glad I didn’t load up my own bag. I’m also glad I wasn’t run down by the bicycle race I almost missed, as I walked the last few blocks to my new home.

•••

I had barely cast off my burdens when the phone rang. I had a feeling who it would be, so I put the thing on speakerphone and fell back into a chair. I didn’t care to hold the handset, and the neat trick that other men could do, with the phone in the crook of the neck, doesn’t work at all with us.

“Oh, Bart… You ok? I was expecting you home hours ago.” It was Dad, of course. Mom didn’t tend to worry like he did. Also, I was right. The neighbors would just have to deal with the sound of yapping dogs while we spoke, if the impressive sound insulation in this place didn’t stand against our words. I wondered, in that moment, whether that was one of the reasons my cousin had selected this apartment.

“I walked home… ended up playing with a band in the park. We went and got a bite to eat.” This really drained all of the color out of the experience, but I was talking to my dad. 

“Oh… great!” Father seemed to be delighted. “People like us, or…”

“No, they were all flat fa… standard people. I mean, there were dog heads in the park. Some pig people too, and the monkey people from China. And all the other hues of man, that don’t stand out so much. It was neat.” I guess I was delighted, as well.

“I’m very happy to hear it… what did you think of Jade?”

“She seems to be real nice, she… Wait, how did you know that I ran into her?”

“Hah, Tan-kat gave me a call. First time we have talked in years, actually…”

“Since you two broke up?” This was fresh, but I had been shocked to find out about this bit of family history, and I wanted to tease him a bit.

“Uh…” This is one of the few words that we share with Albionese. It’s too bad that it means literally nothing.

“Jade said something about it… It came as news to me. I thought that you only had eyes for women! I didn’t know we had so much in common.” My parents knew about my wandering eye, of course. It was nothing to be ashamed of.

“Oh, not like you. No, I… only ever had eyes for Tan.” Familiar enough to refer to him by but one name! Duly noted. “He picked up the instrument so he could play by my side, and then I ran off to be an architect…” I could hear his voice catch, as he choked up a bit. I gave him a moment to compose himself and continue, “I’d think I broke his heart if Jade hadn’t picked it up so fast.”

“Did that cause some stress?” I was pretty sure I knew.

“Jade? Yeah, the old rules… about sexual relations, had only been voted out a few decades back. His dad’s side of the family did not like it. Most everyone knows what we are now, and there is less chance of a loose child being treated as an animal, or a monster. But, that side was old fashioned, and they made a lot of noise about traditions and propriety.” He laughed, “Jade’s family was surprisingly supportive, and that helped a lot. I guess they had a pig person, way back in their family tree? I didn’t know that, at the time. Tan said there was no trace of it on any of their faces. It seems like weird folk are everyone’s family secret, here on Turtle Island.” Living my life out in Wyandote, I’d had no idea to what a degree that was true. But, around here, it seems like people had given up on secrets. We had some ugly secrets of our own, which this conversation brought to mind.

“It’s really rich, for the traditionalists to be all up in arms about propriety. As I recall, the traditionalists used to bait sailors with our…” It was impossible not to use the slur, in this context, “… flat faced women, to keep our blood fresh. Relations were never the problem, it was relationships. They just don’t care for love.”

“Men were more restricted, son. It’s harder to keep track of our children…” It’s true, men tend to jump at opportunities for such amusements, and it’s far too easy to leave behind an unexpected gift. “Yeah, well… You’re right, and Love be. Can anyone doubt the two of them love each other? I don’t. Tan-kat says two of their kids take after their mom, except the ears. The third, more the dad. It sounds cute… I want pictures?” It was good to hear there was no bad blood between them, now. I’d hate to be on the wrong side of my boss because my dad didn’t squeeze him right, back in the day. “But all that aside, I’m so glad you are getting along well in Olympia, already. We were a bit worried… that you were getting some hard feelings towards the standard model men. People around here can be so cold, if you don’t worship with them.”

“That’s the second time I’ve heard that today, and I can’t believe I missed that detail until now.”

“Look, son, if they looked down on us… like that, I couldn’t work with them like I do. Like we do. We have philosophical differences, and that’s fine.”

“I mean, if their gods don’t like us…”

  “There are a thousand gods, none of them have the time to be too jealous, or too picky.” Can you imagine? That would be terrible. “But, you know, it’s a community: a temple. And we were never in that community.” This brought to mind another question.

“A few people in the band mentioned the Temple of Dio. I know some dog heads attend, would it be…” My mom interjected. The other side must be on speakerphone, too.

“Oh gods! I told you. Ten minutes in a new city and he’s up to his neck in gods.” I couldn’t tell if mom was annoyed, or amused.

“Eh, I’m not shaking hands with him or anything.” But, I do like a good party.

“If Dio shows up then shake his hand, don’t be rude.” Dad seemed genuinely concerned. That was unlikely… Less so if I started having some faith, I suppose. “I don’t have a problem with it."

“Dio’s fine, smoke and wine, just don’t get too lost in your time.” That also rhymed very well in the original language. Mom was quite a poet, often without even trying.

“Yeah, have fun.” I could tell by dad’s tone that this was wrapping up, but there was one more point I wanted to hit upon.

“So, uh, dad… Call him back, eh? You two shouldn’t be so distant. I always wondered about that guy in the pictures.”

“I don’t mind if you two get close again. If Jade’s not jealous, that would be fun to watch.” This was not what I meant, and mom knew it, she was just trying to embarrass me. She had succeeded, and I was at a loss for words. Apparently, so was my father, so mom continued. “Wow, got you both, how often do I get this much peace and quiet?”

“I have a few things to do around here, so maybe I can give you some more? Love you two.”

“Love you!” my parents barked out, in unison, before they laughed and disconnected the line.

I looked up, upon my kingdom of boxes, and knew that I had days of work ahead of me before this place was really my home. But, I already felt at home in Portland, and it was a good feeling. I unpacked my stereo, placed it atop my boxes of clothes and art supplies, and set off a jazz record that I was fond of. So accompanied, I installed those blinds in my bedroom. I’d have to rest well tonight, if I had so much living to do.

[missspringthyme]

February 27th, 2024

My meeting today got canceled because we were going to do a reading on the Greek girl, but she's sick. It's for the best anyway, I would have definitely been late. Unfortunately, it did mean that I wasted a cute business casual outfit. It's with the blue pants that I really like but have trouble styling for whatever reason. I don't have a lot of tops that go with them, and they're a very specific shade of blue, but I figured out a good look today. Ah well.

I was going to work on my research proposal today, but I'm not feeling enough panic to push me to do it. Instead I spent some more time researching places I can look for jobs when I'm done with my masters and making an application tracker in excel. I also watched the new episode of this show on dropout called VIP, which i love with my entire heart.

While I was doing this, German American was also sat in the living room stressing out because she had her last exam today. At one point, she went to the window and just started flapping her arms, so I made an executive decision. I turned on Sweet Caroline and made her dance with me. My favorite style of dancing is just a lot of jumping, but I feel like it's also a good way to get rid of stress. It did seem to work, but it was also a good reminder that my cardiovascular health is dog shit.

My dad also called me tonight and I brought up the idea of doing a German intensive. He suggested that instead of staying with a random host family, I stay with my actual family. It's a good idea to save money, but I'm a little iffy on the idea for 2 reasons. 1. They always want to practice their English with me 2. It's more embarrassing for me to look my German relatives in the eye and tell them I'm paying money to improve my German. I think I'll probably go back to the US in June, my dad really wants me to come and keeps asking. Honestly, I kinda don't want to, but what can you do. That also made me realize that if I stayed for 2 months then I probably could work a job part time while I finish my thesis and get some money. This then made me realize that my internship from last summer adored me and wanted to have me stay on but couldn't when they learned I wouldn't be staying in the US. They told me if I had time next summer to let them know, so I sent an email. If anyone would be willing to let me be flexible with start/end dates and hours, it'll be the people who I already know adore me. Plus, the internship is remote and super easy. It would be perfect.

So as it currently stands, my plan is June-July US and possibly do an internship to make some money, August come back to Germany, and then august/September do the intensive, September hopefully go to Italy, October graduate. That means that even when my lease ends in August I have places to stay until I graduate, and I continually have things going on. My thesis deadline is the same day my lease ends, so hopefully everything just kinda flows smoothly.

I make money, I finish my thesis, I do the intensive, I lay on a beach in Italy, I get a job and so on. In case you can't tell, I managed to make myself pretty stressed. Time is just moving so quickly and I wish that I had done a 2 year masters. I'm not ready to let any of this go. I'm just really happy here and I'm not getting enough time. I'm scared it would be difficult to find a job in Germany, and I don't want to leave. This is one of the first places that I could actually imagine myself living in for decades. I don't want to go. Most of the best jobs that i can do before my PhD are in the US and i'm so afraid that i'll keep making the easier choices and ill end up stuck. It would make so many people in my life happier if I lived in the US, particularly in Colorado but I can't do it. My parents are in their 60s, my dad is inching closer to 70 everyday and I cant bear the thought of losing him, but he's in Colorado. The only life T has ever known is Colorado, and he loves it there. I'm just not a full person there. I wish I could be happy there, that I could buy a house close to my dad's and have dinners with him and my sort of step mom. I wish that was enough.

There's also something else that's been knocking around in my head. I'm considering pregnancy. Not anytime soon, but my hard stance on never doing it is softening.

The reasons why I have been very adamant about never getting pregnant are as follows (1) I have PCOS and endometriosis, which both mean issues with fertility and increased risk during pregnancy. My mom had 8 miscarriages and I don't know if I can do that. (2) I'm terrified that it will permanently harm my health or, result in my death. Pain is not nice, but it doesn't scare me. It'swhat the pain could mean. Plus, I have a theory that my mom had post partum deppression after i was born. I know she had a big personality shift and suddenly lost interest in a lot of things that used to drive her before. Its been a few years since i met the diagnostic criteria for depression and I dont want to go back. Im so scared. (3) I know it will change my body and as shallow as it is, I don't think I have stable enough self esteem to handle that. I already have to be very careful I don't slip habits that look suspiciously like eating disorders now, it would be incredibly difficult for me post-pregnancy. (4) I hate how vulnerable pregnancy is, there's so many scary things and you have to trust so many people. I'm afraid I can't do that, I already have enough trouble with doctors as is.

Reasons why I am now considering pregnancy (1) I desperately want kids, it's one of those things that I'm just very sure about and have thought about a lot. (2) T wants a biological child and I have some ethical concerns with the adoption industry, although if I could I would love to foster (3) surrogacy is expensive and poses some logistical issues. One of which is I would be unable to pass on my German citizenship. One of the many reasons I want to speed run German fluency is that I would want my kids to not have to deal with what I had to. It also means finding someone we trust, and there's legal and medical red tape. Lots of things. Not impossible, and not off the table, but still. (4) It means I can make more decisions and have more control over the process (5) the more I see these amazing women who did it and the world didn't end, the more comfortable I am with the idea.

That being said, there are some things that I would need to be in place in order to feel even remotely comfortable enough to do it. (1) I would want to be in excellent physical health, and would get a physical trainer to coach me like I was about to do a marathon (2) not in the US, I don't trust maternity there and I would like adequate leave (3) I would want to hire a midwife, and ideally a confinement style post-birth recovery where the only thing you do is rest and feed your baby. (4) therapy, therapy, therapy.

This wouldn't be for years anyway, and maybe I'll keep changing my mind, but I'm finding it difficult to tell T. He knows how I feel and completely understands, but with how vocally against becoming pregnant I have been since people started talking to me about it, I feel like a fraud back tracking. Or like people are going to treat this like I finally stopped being silly. There's already such an enormous societal certainty that pregnancy is what you have to do that I feel like once I voice anything besides a hardline stance, I don't get any say in the matter. When we start having serious conversations about kids I'll think about what to say then.

In the meantime, it was nice getting this off my chest, didn't realize how badly I needed to cry.

[kittykatinabag]

You ever not realize how much you missed a person until they come to visit and you realize that they're probably a platonic soulmate?

[anime-rambles]

"OMEGA STOP PART 1"

Pairing: Alpha Bakugou x Alpha Kirishima x Omega Reader

Type: ABO Dynamic, Angst, blood, SFW

Word Count: 2900+

A/N: Seeing how everyone is loving “Welcome Home Omega” I decided to do another omegaverse fic this time with lots of angst. Thank you so much for all the kind words, reblogs, likes and follows. Was thinking of making a Part 2 for this? What do you think?

Summary: Omega y/n returns home to her alpha’s after being away in Europe, thinking she would be able to re-join her alphas and be happy. Only to discover they move on without her.

Link to Part 2 = https://anime-rambles.tumblr.com/post/657712192264814592/omega-stop-part-2

************************************************************************

I collect my suitcase from baggage claim and make my way towards the arrivals gate. It has been an incredibly long 8 years since I’ve been back home in Japan. After graduating UA with all my friends, I decided I needed a new path, something exciting that didn’t include my alphas. Being away from my family and friends has been one of the most difficult things to go through and more importantly being away from my alphas. It was nice to be needed and not just because of my second gender.

After graduating UA, I joined Fatgum’s agency and from there I met Jackie one of fat’s previous partners on the drug squad. She needed a bright new hero that wanted to work outside of Japan and head off a special unit in charge of investigating quirk enhancing drugs. At first everyone was onboard and excited fir me but as time went on, it was becoming increasing hard to keep in contact with my busy alphas. So, one Christmas, two years into the job we all agreed to stop dating and put our relationship on hold, until I was finished with the special unit or until one of the alphas said enough, come home. I agreed happily, never thinking I would get the come home call, but here I am. I left Europe and returned home.

The doors of arrivals opened in front of me, I look around the barrier hoping to see either of my boys, Bakugou or Kirishima, but neither blonde nor red head could be seen. I walk the corner a small bit, thinking they might be hiding but nothing. I spot movement in the distant, a blur of pink rushing to my arms, knocking me off balance.

“YYYY/NNNN, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR HOME” Mina sobs into my ear. “Mina” I say back hugging her tightly. Out of everyone in UA Mina stayed in constant contact with my updating me on the group’s latest gossip and everyone hero’s ranking. “Come on, lets get you home” She speaks again, taking one of my bags and my hand in hers. I smile to her and gladly accept her hand. Mina is an omega like me, after UA her and Sero got together and currently have a beautiful house and a serval fluffy cats. Once we reach the car and start our journey. Mina tells me of everyone, what they are doing and what is planned for my coming home party tonight.

“Wait, slow down, where are you taking me first” I say, laughing at her excitement. With her hands on the car wheel. She says “Bakugou and Kirishima’s” I pause for a second. They must just be living together and not actually still together without, right? They wouldn’t betray me, would they? These thoughts are fully my head, maybe coming home wasn’t a good idea. I should have ignored the “come home” agreement. What if they just want to use me to have their kid and toss me aside.

“Y/N, please say something, you made me promise not to talk about the boys when were away and right now you’re kinda scaring me.” She presses.

“I’m… just thinking. So out with it tell me what has been going on, why are they living together.” I asked shifting in my seat to look at her and she drives down the straight road.

“Okay, so it started whe….”

Mina basically said what I thought she might after I left fully and didn’t come back like we agreed. Kirishima and Bakugou stopped for a while, they didn’t live together, socialise or anything but after Kirhisma was badly injured in a battle, they moved back in with each other and kept their relationship quiet, it’s been 6 years, that they been together while I have been alone.

“So that’s basically all of it y/n, I’m sorr…”

I cut her off, “Mina this is not for you to apologise for, you kept your promise to me and now I must face the music as they say in Europe.” We had arrived outside their house ages ago, but we ended up talking. I step out of the car and move to grab my bags. I look up to the house, it’s huge and white. Very modern and what’s looks to be very expensive. But what can you expect from the Number 1 and Number 5 heroes in Japan. Mina steps out and comes to my side of the car to hug me goodbye and to tell me the information for tonight. Just then the front door opens, Kirishima steps out with a huge grin on his face. He has changed a lot since I left. He is like a wall, thick with muscle and sporting a high red ponytail.

“There she is,” Kirishima says, holding out his arms as he makes his way down the path towards me. I drop my bags and run to him. I can be anger later, but right now I need this hug. “Here I am,” I say back to him, I took my face into his neck to breathe him in, he tries to do the same but it is unable as I have my marks and scent glands covered as Europe has different rules than us. I can sense the confusion and say I will explain later. Kirishima greats Mina and they discuss briefly about this evening's plans and Mina is off on her way, waving goodbye. With his arm around me, he guides me inside towards the kitchen. We each stand on opposite sides of the Island, not knowing what to say first.

“So, where’s Bakugou? I thought you would both be at the airport” I say frankly to him, showing my frustrations. “He had to work, but he should be back home soon,” Kirishima replies shuffling his feet. I stare at him, I want to voice my anger, I want him to know how much I hurt, I need to do this with Bakugou. “Okay” I reply looking at my bags, why did I come here, why did I think we could go back to normal. “He’ll probably be late like always though, why don’t show you to your room and you can get ready for this evening” He smiled at me, like he trying to form an olive branch between us. I nod and follow him out of the room and up the stairs. All around me are reminders, parties I could not attend, award shows I missed but right now I can’t dwell on that. My time in Europe was the best experience of my life and right now I want to go back. Kirishima leads me to a guest room and leaves me to get ready. I sigh, this is going to be difficult.

************************************************************************

Doing the finishing touches to my hair, I smooth my dress down as I look in the mirror. I’m wearing a tight-fitting black dress, that is off the shoulders. I rub my hands down my neck, wishing I could have had the surgery to remove my mark guards yesterday before I came home. Just to show them, that I kept my promise to them. I hear noises downstairs, Bakugou had arrived home ages ago but did not even come to say hello, just went straight to the shower. Although I know what Mina told me was true, I needed proof if I was to enter an argument with Bakugou. I walk a small bit from my room trying to stay quiet, I turn a corner and see a wall of photo frames, most are from UA and some are from Dates we three had together. The difference, I was no longer in the photos, I was cut out. You could see my arm or a sliver of my hair and maybe an eye. I felt rejection, my inner omega whined. Why would they do this to me? I ripped the frame from the walls and marched downstairs. My heels clicked on the floor beneath me. I rounded the corner and enter the kitchen not bothering to wait for their conversation to finished. I throw the frames onto the countertop and look up at both of them making eye contact. If I wasn’t so mad and hurt, I would be shocked at how mature and sexy they both are right now. Kirishima's hair is half up, half down being supported with braids and he is in a maroon shirt opened slightly. Whereas Bakugou wears a white shirt and supports an undercut. My alphas have matured, I suppose I have as well.

Kirishima looks at the frames and stays quiet. Bakugou does not dare to break eye contact with me.

“So, let me get this straight. I leave home, to become great in something that is bigger than me. I leave my alphas with an agreement, that we all would hit pause, and eventually I would come back or get a called from either of you to come home. I follow the rules, and it seems to me what I got in thanks was to be cut from your lives.” I raise my voice, guesting to the pile in front of me.

“tck…” Bakugou replies and looks at Kirishima.

“Don’t tck me Bakugou, it seems to me that I’m not even wanted here anymore, so why was I called home, let me guess you need an omega to have your child and then I’m to disappear,” I respond. “No that’s not why we called you back” Kirishima speaks up, slightly walking towards to appear less hostile.

“Funny how you call us your alphas but yet, our marks, our bond is no longer on your neck,” Bakugou responds, pointing towards me. “They are not gone, they are covered by a skin slip, in Europe is safer to have them covered in case you are kidnapped and forced to bond with someone,” I say back to him. “Omega, please let us explain, I understand your hurt, but we want you still, your part of our family,” Kirishima replies placing a hand on my elbow. I jerk away from him.

“So, all this time, when I was away, suffering through my heats alone. Omega depression after omega depression. You two, were what? Together happily rutting away.”

“Yes, how do we know you never had it off with anyone else,” Bakugou said leaning on the Island in front of me. “Bakugou, don’t say that -” Kirishima scolded him. “- we don’t think that y/n”. I stand there shocked; I can sense he is hurt but right now I will not be his vent.

“ah, I see, I was away fucking my way through Europe apparently and my alphas decided that instead of coming to see me and to tell me. They went behind my back” I stare at Bakugou not daring to back down. “How do we know you weren’t, how do we know you didn’t get our marks removed?” Bakugou asked.

I scuffed and turned out of the kitchen, towards my bags that were left at the bottom of the stairs. Both Alphas stayed in the kitchen and spoke to each other. I opened my bags and reached into it to find a wrapped plastic bag. I walked back into the kitchen, hearing Bakugou raising his voice at Kirishima, “I can’t Kiri, you almost died.” Kirishima hushed Bakugou as I re-entered the kitchen. I threw the bag at Bakugou.

“Go on, open it -” I say with my hands on my hips. “- There’s your proof” I stand and watch it. Bakugou opens the bag and pulls out two jumpers, one of his and one of Kirishima’s. Their scent has well worn out but mine could be smelled. Years of being alone, years of depression, laid in their hands. Kirishima’s eye watered. “This proves nothing, maybe if you weren’t lying about our mark being gone, we wouldn’t have this problem,” Bakugou said, dropping the jumpers on the countertop. “What do you want me to do, perform surgery right now, you know once you never doubted me” I laugh under my breath.

“Yeah well once, you weren’t such a slut, betraying your alp-“Bakugou responded but Kirishima stepped in creating a barrier between us. Tears started to form in my eyes, my vision blurred. Fine, if Bakugou wants proof right now that I was loyal then fine, I’ll give it to him.

I look at my nails and smile to myself, I thank whatever god is listening that I have long pointed nails today. Kirishima is currently speaking to Bakugou, standing in front of me. I can no longer hear him. All I know is, those skin slips have to go now. I take a deep breath in and dig my nails into my neck around where the stitched used to be. I whimper, both can smell blood and turn to look at me. I rip the slip from my skin, blood starts to pour from my neck but nothing that would majorly hurt me. I reach for the other and dig my nails in. “Y/n stop, what are you doing” Kirishima reaches to stop me, but he’s too late I pulled the other off and make eye contact with Bakugou. “You wanted your proof, here you are Bakugou, take a whiff I have NEVER BETRAYED EITHER OF YOU” I scream, throwing the slips onto the counter and storm off.

“Omega come back now” Bakugou shouts after me, I can hear him chase me and reach for my arm. I pull it forward and turn to face him. Tear are leaving my eyes, ruining my makeup, my dress ruined from the blood. “What Katsuki, you believe me now? What do you want from me, why are you mad?” Bakugou stands in shock, unable to talk. “ANSWER ME NOW,” I scream again. Bakugou reaches forward grabbing my arms, tears forming in his. Kirishima was leaning on the door behind him.

“HE ALMOST DIED, AND YOU WEREN’T THERE, I WAS ALONE, WATCHING HIM DIE AND YOU WERENT THERE, YOU PROMISED ME I’D NEVER BEEN ALONE, AND YOU LEFT ME ALONE WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK” he roared at me. I shoved Bakugou off me.

“I CAME HOME WHEN EIJIROU WAS IN HOSPITAL” I shouted back, both alphas heads shot straight up and looked at me. “I was there, I broke me promise to stay away until I was asked by either of you to come home. But I saw the fight, I saw Eijirou get knockdown and didn’t get back up. I hopped on the nearest flight and came home. You need proof, ask Fatgum, Denki, Tamaki, Deku.. anyone who sat in that waiting room.” I said looking into Bakugou's eyes. Kirishima walked forward to join us. Bakugou went to speak. “No you let me speak, I was there. Kirishima opened his eyes and called me an angel and then you shot into the room in a panic and threw yourself on him. Bakugou you looked in my eyes and didn’t say a word, so I stepped back, you saw me there, you. Don’t blame this on me. Knowing how angry you would be, Deku came and got me, promising to watch over both of you.” I stopped to wipe the tears from my eyes.

“How dare you hold that over me Katsuki Bakugou,” I say to him, Kirishima reaches for my hand as if to pull us all back together. I step back, I need to breathe to get out. I walk about the front door, grabbing my handbag. “I’ll see you at the party, some welcome home this was,” I say not looking back and slam the front door.

I walk down the path and reach for my phone, dialing Mina’s number. “Hey girly, I’m just about to leave for the pub,” Mina says down the phone. I start to cry and sit down on the curb. “Sero, wait a second” Mina whispers away from the phone. “Y/n, what’s happened, what’s going on,” She says again her voice has lowered. “Mina I need some help; I can’t see everyone looking like this,” I say back to her. I cry again, I can hear the door behind me open and I stand. I turn and see Kirishima, “Y/n wait please, come back in, we can sort this out,” he says, and I look over his shoulder. Bakugou is frozen in the same spot, staring at the floor. “I’m almost there, start walking to me,” Mina says and hangs up. I bend down and undo the straps of my heels, steeping out of them leaving them on the step. I start to run down the street, I need some quiet, I need to think.

“OMEGA STOP” Bakugou shouts behind me, but I can’t. I see Mina’s car and run towards it.

[theunquenchablethirst]

Joyride (Jerome X Reader)

Smut, NSFW, 18+, porn without plot, honestly just hot, nasty filth 

Do not read unless you are a deviant!

Reader is walking home down a street she knows just like the back of her hand, but today there's an unfamiliar car parked up. Paying it no mind she continues past it, but soon discovers today is not going to be any regular day when a sinister voice calls to her from the mysterious car behind her.

Vaginal fingering, blowjobs, rough sex, semi-public sex, car sex, bondage, chocking, spanking, dom/sub undertones, dub-con, strong language, murder, kidnap

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Masterlist

I walked that street nearly every day, to and from Gotham High. I had for years. This would be my last year as I was 18 and about to graduate.

Everything seemed as normal as ever. The pretzel cart, the lady that walked her little dog, the kids playing jump rope. A fairly quiet street. I didn't know it then, but that day would be anything, but normal.

I was approaching the end of the street where I would cross the road. There was a car parked up I hadn't seen before. Big, black with tinted windows. I didn't pay it much attention and wasn't hesitant to carry on my walk past it. I reached the end of the street and stood waiting for the traffic to quiet so I could cross over, then behind me I heard the familiar sound of a car window winding down.

"Hey, princess." A sinister voice called.

I turned to look and peering out of the black car window was him. The most dangerous, most wanted man in Gotham city. Jerome Valeska.

I'd only seen him on the news and in papers before, but even then, he had scared me. He'd brought the city to its knees and left a trail of bodies and madness wherever he went. And now he was right in front of me.  

"Can I give you a ride?" He asked with his signature smile plastered on his scarred face, voice dripping with menace.

I froze still. I wanted to run as fast as I could, but his stare glued me to my spot.

"Come on, doll. I'll be nice."

I took a step back, weighing the risk of making a run for it. He sucked his teeth and looked down for something.

"I'd offer you candy, but uh..." He pulled a gun up to the window and pointed it at me.

"... Something tells me I won't need to." His smile somehow grew bigger as he locked his eyes on mine.

My heart was beating so loud I thought the whole city would be able to hear it. I had no choice. Knees weak, I nervously walked around to the passenger side door and opened it. I sat in the seat next to him, but pressed myself as close to the window as I could. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible, even if it was only by a few inches.  

"Ah, safety first. Seatbelt." He said dropping his smile and cocking his head.

Not caring weather or not he was joking, I pulled down the belt and buckled myself in. I did not want to make him angry. He grinned eerily and panic rose in my chest as his eyes burned holes in me.  

He reached a gloved hand out to my face. I flinched as he brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear and stroked his knuckles down my jaw line and neck. His hand moved lower still down my arm, only stopping when he got to my shaking hand. I was grasping my bag so tightly my knuckles had turned white. He tugged at it a few times wanting me to let go. I released the bag and he pulled it off my lap and into his.

"Let's see what we got here."

He started to rummage through my possessions pulling each one out, mostly dubbing them boring and dumping them out of the window.

"Pain killers, boring. Pencil case, extra boring. Ooh, Jolly Ranchers! Don't mind if I do!"

He popped a sweet in his mouth, threw the rest over his shoulder into the back seat and got back to snooping.

"Keys, boring. Oh! A diary! I'll save that for later! A can of mace...."

He paused then let out a loud cackle as he held the mace.

"Oh, princess! Bet you wish you'd switched this out for a gun right about now!" He continued to giggle as he dived a hand back in.

"Aha! Phone!" He dropped my bag back in my lap and opened up my flip phone.

"You won't be needing this." He smirked and snapped it, letting the two halves fall and disappear under the driver's seat. Dread began to settle in as it dawned upon me that I now had no way to call for help and my mace was lying in the street. Not that it would've been much use against him anyway.

"Ok! Let's get this party started!" His giggled as he turned the key in the ignition. He turned towards me and revved the engine.

"Vroom, vroom." He mocked.

I sat there clutching my bag, waiting for the car to start moving. He fiddled with the gear stick and then slammed his foot down on the pedal as if there was a deadly bug that needed to be squashed. The tyres screeched like they were taking a layer of tarmac with them and he took off like a boy racer.  

I let out a scream as the sudden, fast pace sent a shockwave right through me. I sent my hands searching for something, anything to hold on to. There was a turn coming up, but I noticed it too late and I was flung into the side of the door like a ragdoll. All the time the loudest noise in my ear was maniacal laughter coming from Jerome in driver's seat. He was driving like he stole it, but then again, it was entirely possible he did.

"More?" He looked at me with a mischievously.

I shook my head, breathlessly, praying to any god that was listening that he actually cared about my answer.

"I think more." He sharply turned into an empty car park and spun around and around and around. I was pressed right up against him as I clung to the bottom of my seat. He laughed and banged his hand on the wheel, continuing to spin us around.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" I screamed forgetting myself.  

"Oh, I love 'em with fire!" He laughed again.  

Then all of a sudden, he stopped. I jolted forwards like a crash dummy so hard I thought I would hit the windshield. He'd been right about the seatbelt. I stared straight ahead and tried to catch my breath, when I heard angry shouting. An employee of the restaurant that owned the car park was making his way over to us with a red face.

Jerome stuck his head out of the window.

"What's that, pal?"  

I heard more shouting.

"Ok." Jerome reached for the gun and shot the employee straight in the head. I gasped at the sound and he fell down like a sack of bricks.

"Problem solved." Jerome grinned and pocketed the gun.

I felt my stomach turn. I'd just seen a murder right in front of me. That poor man. Jerome started the car again and left the car park, where he'd left a dead body and certainly tyre tracks.

"Some fun, eh kid?" He smiled at me. I couldn't find any words to reply. He sighed.

"I hate awkward silences." He reached down and turned on the radio. He flicked through a few channels until he found one playing music he seemed to like. An old rock station.

"Now this is better!" He looked at me with a satisfied smile, but dropped it when I still didn't reply.

"How do I get you to talk? Do I gotta drop a quarter in ya?" He turned another corner onto a straight, quiet road.

"I know." He smirked with a menacing look in his eyes.  

He pushed the pedal down, once again picking up speed. He was driving like there was money on it, but I'd at least managed to brace myself this time. He slowed a little as he got in place to drive side by side with the only other car on the road. He chuckled darkly to himself and then I realized why. Fear took my senses when I saw in the not too far distance, heading straight at us was a giant truck. The driver in the car next to us began to honk the horn and flash obscene hand gestures as the truck grew closer, but Jerome simply turned the radio up and began singing along with the words.

"Jerome..." I said tugging at his arm.

Nothing. And the truck was now honking at us to move.  

"Jerome!"  

The truck was too close for comfort. The sense that I was about to be flattened because of the idiot at the wheel filled my body.

"Jerome, move the damn car!" I shook his arm fiercely and slammed my fists in my chair.

He finally burst out cackling maniacally with an outrageous smile.

He slammed down the pedal and pulled forward in front of the car beside us, missing the truck by a hair. He laughed and howled like it was the funniest thing he'd ever experienced, whilst I sighed the biggest sigh of my life and slid low down my seat. He pulled over and parked.

"Nothing like a little near-death experience to get the blood flowing, eh doll?"  

I had melted into my seat and wasn't really paying attention.

"So, how'd you like me so far?"

"Is that a serious question?" I replied breathlessly. I didn't know where I got the confidence for it, but the words were coming out.

He just giggled.

"Ok, how about I behave... For a while."

"How about you let me go?"

He lifted a long finger at me.

"Tut tut, doll face. Don't make me wiggle my finger at you."

I shuffled backwards in my seat, propping myself upright again.

"So, you know my name? Are you stalking me?" He put his hand on his chest in mock fear.

"Everyone in Gotham knows your name. You're Jerome Valeska. You've terrorised the city and murdered dozens of people. The Gotham Gazette makes sure we don't miss these things."  

"The Gotham Gazette, huh? Note to self, send a gift basket their way." He chuckled to himself then looked at me.

“So, what’s yours?”

I told him my name. I was reluctant, but I was already here in the car with him.

“Hm, cute.” He replied.

I didn’t know why, but him calling me cute made me blush a little. I hoped he didn’t notice.

“You look fun.” He smiled.

“What do you mean?” I asked the question, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know the answer.

He pulled my diary out of the door pocket.

“Let’s get to know you, shall we?”  

“That’s private.” I said sheepishly. I really didn’t want him reading what was in there, but I knew I couldn’t stop him.

“Not anymore.” Jerome flicked through the pages, skimming them for interesting thoughts and secrets. It didn’t look like he was finding anything juicy, until he stopped at one page and read it in its entirety.

“I got asked out by a guy in my maths class. He’s nice, but really boring. Just like everyone else in my life. Even if I wanted to go out with him, my dad wouldn’t allow it. He says men are the devil and the only one I can trust is him. Yeah right, Mr it’s 5’oclock somewhere. Even if I took that seriously, he doesn’t have anything to worry about. The only guys in my life are complete clichés. So very predictable, so very dull. I’m so bored of this same old-same old. I want something exciting, an adventure. I need some thrills in this beige goddamn existence!”

He repeated back to me the words I had written just a week prior. He turned to me with a predatory look in his eyes. He let the diary fall from his hands carelessly and I knew then that I would be his prey. He took his gloves off and reached a hand towards my knee. He stroked and squeezed my leg and then journeyed up higher, fingers crawling underneath the hem of my skirt.

“Be careful what you wish for, doll face.” He smirked, darkly.

My breath caught in my chest and I felt a warmth in my core.

"I thought you said you were gonna behave." I peeped.

"I did, didn't I? I guess I lied."  

He pulled my skirt up and ran a finger along my panty covered slit. He was turning me on. I wanted him. He was everything I had been looking for, but it was wrong. I couldn’t give in to this.

"Please... Stop..." I pleaded pathetically.

"Mmm, I don't think I will."  

He softly rubbed my folds through the white cotton. My breath got heavier and I felt the heath build.

"It would be so easy for me to push these little things out of the way and slide my fingers inside you, right now. Wouldn't it?"

"Please... Don't..."

He giggled darkly.

"Oh, princess. You're just too cute."  

He smiled as he moved the material to the side exposing my entrance. He slid his fingers up and down my slit, my juices covering the tips. I squirmed at his touch and tried to scooch back in my seat.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, doll, but you wouldn't be this wet if you didn't really want me inside you." He cooed. His words crashed into me like rocks. He could read my body just as well as my diary. I couldn't hide my desire from him and I didn’t want too.  

He continued to rub for a few more seconds before plunging a finger deep inside me. I let out a gasp at the sudden intrusion and he smirked, seemingly satisfied with my response. He worked me with his finger, pulling out before sliding it back in and deciding to add another. He slowly pulsed his fingers inside me, palming over my clit as he slid in and out, again and again. The swell of warmth in me grew as I rocked my hips.

He pulled his fingers out entirely, leaving me disappointed and empty. I looked at him as he examined the juices coating him. He smiled at me and raised them to his mouth, sucking them clean.

"Mmm. You're so sweet." He said as he lowered them, his voice now deeper and slightly raspy.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, then did mine. He pushed the bag off my lap down to where my feet were and reached his arm around my waist, pulling me backwards, closer to him. He leaned me against him as one hand travelled up from my waist and wrapped around my throat. His other came down, pulled up my skirt and parted my thighs. He pushed my panties to the side once again and introduced his other hand to my wetness. His two fingers sliding in and out, but this time a little faster and much deeper. I let a yelp escape my mouth and his hand squeezed harder around my throat. His hot breath in the crook of my neck gave me goosebumps and sent chills down my spine.  

He explored my walls entirely, hitting all the right spots, hot pleasure pulsing through my muscles as they clenched around his talented digits. He palmed my clit applying a gentle amount of pressure and rubbing in circles. I bit my lip in an attempt muffle my moans.

"Nuh uh. Let me hear you, baby girl." He taunted in my ear.

Two fingers from the hand around my throat pulled my mouth open and played with my tongue.  

"You got something to say, princess?" He pushed his fingers deeper into me until his knuckles stopped him from going any further and pumped them, his thumb circling my clit in sweet slow motions. A loud moan escaped my throat and he smiled evilly.

"That's better." He snarled as he put his full hand back around my throat.  

My legs started to stiffen and I felt my climax build as I tightened around his fingers.

"You wanna cum, baby?"  

He worked his fingers inside my walls and his thumb on my clit, slightly increasing the pressure. His breath came closer to my ear and I felt him take it gently in his teeth. I yelped at the shock of his bite.  

"Mm. So cute."

I rocked my hips against his hand. My release was close, it just needed a little push.

"Cum for me, princess. Cum on my fingers."

As if on his command, the dam burst and my climax washed over me. My legs shook and I moaned as I rode it out. He pulled his fingers out of me slid them in my mouth so I could taste my own juices.

“See, gorgeous. I can play nice.” He buried his face in my hair and took in my scent. He hummed to himself and I felt his grip on my throat tighten. He pulled me forwards and pushed me towards the back seat.

“My turn.” He grinned as he sat up.

I climbed into the back, closely followed by Jerome. I sat down and he straddled me, towering over me with his red hair brushing against the car ceiling. I saw the outline of his hard member pushing against the inside of his trousers. It was right in front of my face and my mouth watered for it. I suppose he caught me looking because he started to palm himself and lifted my chin up so I was looking at him.

“Do you have something sweet for me?” He leaned down closer to me, his grip on my face tightening.

I swallowed and felt the lump in my throat. He crashed his lips onto mine. The kiss was hard and forceful, just like he was. His tongue pushed into my mouth and fought for dominance over mine. It was an easy win for him. He tasted sweet, like the Jolly Ranchers. I assumed that wasn’t the first candy he’d eaten that day. He pulled away from me and smiled, studying my face with hooded eyes.

“Yummy.” He whispered.  

He rose back up and unbuckled his belt. He pulled it from out of its loops, held it in front of him and snapped it quickly. I flinched at the loud sound of the leather.

“Hands.” He ordered in a serious, intimidating tone that aroused me all the more.

I held my hands up to him and he looped the belt in and around my wrists, tightly bonding them together.

“No hands for this. I wanna see how that pretty little mouth works.” He smirked lifting my chin again, tugging my bottom lip with his thumb.

He palmed himself a little more and then unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, letting them fall around his knees. I could see through his boxers that he was fully erect already. He slid them down and they joined his trousers. Jerome was big. I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to take it all, especially without the use of my hands. He balled my hair in his hand and gripped hard. I gasped at the sudden pain.

“Come on, princess. You know what to do.” He pulled me forwards and plunged into my open mouth. He let out a hiss of pleasure.

He raked his free hand through my loose hair before clenching it in his fist. He used his grip on my head to move me up and down his shaft, prompting me to start. I swirled my tongue around him and started sucking. He hissed again through gritted teeth and pushed in further. My tongue climbed up and down his shaft, licking the sticky coating of precum from him and teasing the head. I hollowed my cheeks and bobbed up and down, letting my saliva cover him.

“Oh, yeah... Fuck, pretty girl.” He groaned in his throat and bucked his hips forwards with force.

He hit the back of my throat and I gagged. The noise seemed to please him so he did it again and again and again. My lips touched his base as he assaulted my throat, gripping tighter on my hair with each thrust. I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face and eyes begging for breath, but it just pushed him further.

He let out a primal growl and pushed my head right into the back of the seat. He held me steady and started to thrust into my face fast and hard. My throat was aching and my jaw was locking. His breath was shallow and erratic. I could tell he was close. I sucked harder for him and my throat clenched tightly.  

“Fuuuuck...” He groaned finally coming to a stop.  

I felt him throb and twitch in my mouth as his climax shot straight down my throat for me to swallow. He was still for a few seconds, then he pulled out with a pleasing pop. He looked down at me catching his breath with a smile.

“Don’t have to tell you twice, huh?” He laughed and lowered his head to kiss me.

He didn’t seem to care he’d just cum in my mouth and kissed just as rough as the first time. This time biting my lip as he pulled away. He slid his hand back up into my hair and balled it again.

“As great as that was princess, I’m still harder than Chinese algebra. So...” Jerome climbed off my lap and shoved me down onto my front.

“All fours.” He commanded.

I positioned myself on my knees and elbows, which was difficult considering my wrists were tied. I felt him roll my skirt up and part my legs. I swallowed. After having him go so rough on my mouth, I was nervous about how he was going to be with this.

“I gotta say, this is some view back here. Shame I don’t have a camera.” He said caressing my thighs.

He hooked his fingers under the band of my underwear and slid them down around my knees. I felt so exposed and my face started to heat up and turn red with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I was allowing myself to be this vulnerable for a criminal lunatic.

He started to rub my entrance with two fingers. Warmth welling in my core, any thoughts of reservation vanished from my mind. I felt a fast, harsh sting as he brought a hand down to spank me. I gasped at the smack and he stroked the spot where it landed, where there was sure to be a red handprint.  

“Now I really wish I had a camera.” He giggled darkly.  

I squirmed at his touch and tried to close my thighs, desperate for friction, but he kept them spread by sliding his knee between them.

“Oh no, gorgeous. I need you open wide.” He smirked.

I whimpered needily, wanting nothing more than to take him inside me.

“You want something, baby girl? Speak up.” He taunted evilly, sliding his fingers along my slit. He raised his hand back up and then... another spank.

All I could do was whimper. I didn’t want to say what I wanted from him.

“I can’t hear you....” He sing-songed. “What do you want?”  

He circled a finger over my clit teasingly. He was purposefully not giving me enough. Just baiting me. He brought his hand down again for another swift spank. I was sure there was a bruise forming.

“I want you...” I whispered.

“What’s that?” He mocked, sliding his fingers in the slickness of my entrance.

“I want you! I want you to fuck me!” I snapped. I couldn’t take the teasing and taunting any longer. I just needed him.

He chuckled menacingly.

“You want me to fuck you? You wanna take me?”

“Yes! Yes! God, yes!”

He laughed at my neediness. I felt pathetic.

“Sure thing, doll.”

He lined himself up so he could enter me and pushed forwards, grasping hard onto my hips. I moaned loudly as he filled me for the first time, making a low, throaty groan. He reached deep into me and set me on fire in places that I didn't even know were there.  

He kept a quick rough pace, digging his fingertips into my flesh tighter to keep me still and steady. I knew he was leaving marks, but I couldn’t have cared in the slightest in that moment. His thrusts made me whine and whimper for him, to have more of him. He growled like he was letting out some kind of inner beast.

He let go of one of my hips and slid his hand up my back and into my hair. Once he had a good fistful, he pulled it like a leash, tugging my head up and back. I gasped at the sharp pain, but the sound only seemed to feed more into his sadistic wanting and he pounded harder into me. The feel of how deep he was inside me banished all the pain and replaced it with pure pleasure and I bit down hard on my lip to stifle wanton cries. I felt another rough tug on my hair.

“Don’t you dare, little girl. Let me hear it. I wanna hear everything.” He demanded through short, quick breaths.

He pulled back on my hair again and I released a squeal of half pain and half pure elation. I could feel myself tightening around him. I was getting ready to burst.

“I... I’m...I’m gonna...” I panted.

“Oh, no you fucking don’t.”  

He gripped the back of my scalp and pulled me backwards, slamming me down onto my back and climbing on top of me.

“I wanna see it this time.”

He had acted so fast, I barely had time to register what he was doing and he was back inside me almost as soon as he had pulled out.

He buried his head in the crook of my neck, sucking and kissing, his teeth leaving delicious hickeys and bitemarks. When he came back up for breath, he wrapped his hand around my throat and pushed my bonded arms above my head, which I was grateful for as they were getting squashed between us. He crashed his lips onto mine for a rough kiss. His tongue demanded entrance to my mouth, which I gladly allowed.

With his other hand he caressed and stroked his hand down my thigh and under my calf. He then pulled it up and pushed it back so far it almost reached my shoulder. He adjusted himself to straddle my lower thigh and picked up a faster, harder pace. With my leg like this he was able to plunge deeper. He was forceful and powerful and I relished in every thrust. I cried out completely taken by my lust for him, closing my eyes to savour it all. I felt the sting of a slap on my cheek and flashed them back open.

“Right here, princess. Eyes right here.” He said, his voice low and raspy.  

His pupils were completely dilated, leaving only the thinnest ring of green around them. He seemed to be an apex predator that was in the midst of ravaging its prey and I was only too willing to be led to the slaughter.  

“Exciting enough for ya, sweetheart?” He smirked with a fiendish giggle.

“Uh huh...” I nodded dazedly.  

His laugh continued through the onslaught of fierce, deep thrusts pounding intensely into my lower regions. I tensed around his pulsing erection as I felt my climax creep back up on me. I let out loud erotic moans, as he built up more and more of that blissful warmth in my core.

“That’s right. Cum for me.” He grunted through gritted teeth, tightening his grip on my throat.

His pounding got faster and rougher, hitting my sweet spots exactly right. I was right on the edge of what I could tell was going to be a fantastic release. I got louder and louder as I came closer and teetered the brink.

“Yeah.. I... I’m.. Yeah... I’m gonna...”

“Go on, princess. Cum. Cum for me.”  

My orgasm shattered through me like a rock through glass. My body convulsed as my moans turned into lustful screams. The ferocity of it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The sheer ecstasy took me higher than I’d ever been before. I was on a cloud and I could have stayed there forever. Jerome followed shortly after, growling like a beast as he exploded inside me. He collapsed breathlessly on top of me as I gently floated down from that little piece of heaven.  

“Oh, baby girl. I’m keeping you!” Jerome dropped a kiss on my lips and lifted himself up.  

I came to my senses and started to register the severity of what I had done. Or had it happened to me?  

“What does that mean?” I asked, nervous of his answer.  

He pulled up his underwear and trousers and tidied himself up, even taking time to straighten his tie.

“It means, baby doll, that this is gonna be the start of a beautiful friendship.”  

He laughed his signature maniacal cackle and hopped back in the driver's seat.

“Hey! Are you gonna untie me?” I called to him starting to get very worried.

“I don’t know, doll. I kinda like you like that.” He laughed.

He turned the key in the ignition and revved the engine.  

“Hold on, doll!” He cackled again, before speeding off again.

What have I gotten myself into?

[appplepii]

tears over beers (jean kirschtein x fem!reader)

genre: angst w a happy ending, fluff, modern au

warnings: unprotected sex, mouth spitting, praise kink kinda?? choking, etc VERY NSFW hehe, fuckboy eren (slight eren x reader), mentions of alcohol and drug use

word count: 4.1k

summary:

     You don’t know your own worth, and Jean is getting sick of it.

     Jean remembers the first time he ever laid eyes on you. He remembers the way his stomach flipped when you sat in the empty seat next to him and introduced yourself, a kind smile on your face. He also remembers the moment Eren walked in and caught your eye, and the dread that laid heavy in his chest when your cheeks grew pink. Despite the fact you had just met, he couldn’t help but have distain for the boy the moment he smiled back at you, causing you to become shy and flustered. Why weren’t you nervous to talk to him?

     That’s a question the boy came to ask himself more times than he would ever admit, despite the fact that it’s been years. You and Jean had become a constant for each other, someone that was always there no matter what happened, or how much time passed. It was no question that you had become his best friend (except Marco, of course). There were certain things keeping you together that had Jean convinced it was fate keeping you in his life, from the moment you had graduated high school and decided to go to the same college that was hours away, to you working at his favorite coffee shop near the campus. That philosophy was not a strong willed one, being shot down every time you would tell him about a certain boy you were still hung up on. It was times like that that Jean thought maybe you in his life was a sort of punishment. What did he do to deserve the feeling of having what you want most in life in arms reach and never getting it?

     Years had passed at this point though, and Jean got used to the feeling of pretending he didn’t care. It got easier over time, the boy had become accepting of his fate. He was, and always will be the best friend. It was a little hard on his pride, but it definitely beats not having you in his life at all. That’s why Jean thought he would be fine when he accepted the invite to Marco’s party in which the entire friend group had been invited. A part of him was excited, knowing it had been awhile since the last reunion. Another part of him thought about the fact that he would be there, and he felt frustration slowly build inside him.

     “Ah, I’m so excited! It’s been a minute since we’ve seen everyone, huh?” The smile on your face made up his mind, knowing he could never say no to you. Jean chuckled and shook his head “Yeah yeah, it should be better than staying in that cramped dorm room doing homework” You furrowed your eyebrows, halfheartedly pushing his arm. “Oh shut up, not everyone has a mommy who can pay for a nice big apartment on this side of town.” You snickered, and Jean froze up, redness rising to his cheeks. “S-shut up! She has nothing to do with this, plus you know I’ve invited you to move in how many times now? I have an extra room that just sits empty, you know.” You shook your head and smiled “You know that my part-time job is not enough to cover rent and bills, Jean”. It was at this point Jean dropped the conversation, knowing he was fighting a lost cause. He tried explaining to you many times before he would let you stay for free, and Jean realized just how much you dislike charity work, even if it was never that to him.

     “Anyway, are you ready yet? We’re gonna be late now.” Jean ranted, looking up at the ceiling and scratching the back of his head. “Yes, you can stop complaining you loudmouth.” You bent over and put on your heel, standing back up and flattening out the wrinkles in your clothes. It was then Jean had taken a proper look at you, taking in the nicest outfit he had seen you wear in a long time, albeit quite revealing. His eyes trailed up your bare legs, and he could feel himself go slightly weak in the knees. You really were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He cleared his throat, bringing his gaze back up to your face (though unable to look you in the eyes). “Okay, we can take my car.” He grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter, opening the front door and waiting for you to walk out first. Jean’s attention was brought back to you when he noticed your hesitation. His face grew a curious expression as he looked at you expectedly. “y/n? Are you-” “Are you sure I look okay? I mean.. Eren is gonna be there, do you think he’ll like my outfit?” Your eyes were glued to the ground, and your blush had become apparent as you played with your fingers.

     Jean swallowed, pushing the dreadful and nauseous feeling from the fact you had been thinking about him down. He knew you had kept Eren in mind, but he wished he could ignore it just a little longer. “You look amazing, anyone who would pass up the chance to have you is a fucking idiot, y/n.” It was at this moment you made eye contact with the boy, the gentle smile he saw when he first met you making itself visible. “Thank you, Jean. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend.” Although you had meant it as a compliment to him, all it seemed to do was twist the knife he had in his stomach for so many years that much deeper. All he could bring himself to do was smile and nod, gesturing for you to go out the door to the car.

     He unlocked the doors to his blacked out Camaro, the top coming down to reveal black leather seats (his favorite birthday present, that car was his baby.). After opening the door for you, something he had made a habit of these past years, he got into the drivers seat. Putting the car in drive, you connected your phone to Bluetooth. He always let you play the music whenever you drove together. “Ooo, I have to turn this up!” You said enthusiastically, pushing the system in his car to its limit as you screamed the lyrics and danced. Jean let his eyes leave the road for a moment to glance at you, his heart swelling at the way your hair flew around you face from the wind. He really did have it bad when it came to you.

     “Okay, I’m pretty sure this is Marco’s new place. Should we head in now?” He asked, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to stare at you. You heaved in a deep breath before fixing your hair in the mirror, and nodding to the boy. “Yeah, let’s go.” He said nothing as he got out of the car, immediately going to your door and opening it. That was something you had to get used to, you didn’t like to feel like you were of some importance. You let it go though, once you saw how insistent he was on doing it, ranting about how he had to be a gentleman or something like that. You grabbed the hand he offered out to you, standing up and walking to the front door of the home.

     Jean didn’t bother knocking, instead opening up the front door and walking in like he owned the place. This didn’t surprise you though, besides yourself Marco was Jean’s closest friend. The two were like brothers and you knew Jean was excited to see him after so long. “Jean! I missed that stupid face, how are you, loser?” Ymir hooked an arm around the boy’s neck, clearly already slightly intoxicated. Jean let out a string of cuss words, wrestling out of the tall girl’s strong grip as you turned your attention to her much smaller girlfriend, Historia. “Hey Historia! It’s been awhile, huh?” You smiled at the girl. She had always been so sweet, and you thought her and Ymir balanced each other out perfectly. “It has! Although it doesn’t look like those two have changed much.” You laughed at the pair and how ridiculous they looked before turning your attention to the kitchen.

     “Jean,” you tugged on this sleeve “will you come with me to get some drinks?” You didn’t let him answer, knowing it would be a yes. He silently followed you to the kitchen, smirking at himself when he realized how assertive you had become, especially when you used to be so shy. You began pouring yourself a shot of vodka, “Damn, this early?” Jean laughed as you shrugged your shoulders before downing the drink, wiping your lips on the back of your hand. “Look, we gotta get the night started somehow, right?” You raised your eyebrow as you held out the next shot you poured to his face. He gave you a smug expression, knowing you were challenging him although he has proven on more than once occasion that he can out-drink you. He kept quiet though, and threw the shot back with ease. You smiled at him, each of you taking one more just to get started.

     “Oh shit, when did you get here dude?” Marco stepped into his kitchen, going straight to Jean and did a simple handshake. “Not too long ago. Anyway, look at you! Got this big ass place all to yourself, huh?” Marco shook his head and laughed, not good at taking praise. The two friends talked for awhile, Jean feeling himself relax with the slight buzz from the alcohol. It had been only a couple minutes the conversation lasted, you talking a little when you had been mentioned. Jean’s attention was pulled from Marco when he saw you tense up from the corner of your eye, noticeably becoming more shy than you previously were. His gaze followed yours, when he was met with the one thing he really hoped not to see. 

     Eren sat on the couch, leaning back into with his arms spread out against the back of it, a beer in his hand as he occasionally took drinks from it. Your stomach turned when you saw him because fuck, he looked really good. His black long-sleeve and jeans were simple, but maybe it was the bun he had in his hair that made you almost start drooling. It took everything in Jean’s power not to let out a scoff at how obvious you were being, and how stupid the entire situation was. “Just stop, Jean. It’s not worth it. She doesn’t want you.” His own thoughts definitely brought down his happy mindset, trying his best to ignore the sympathetic look Marco was giving him. 

     He watched as Eren’s eyes met yours, his smile growing as he gestured you over to sit next to him. You got impossibly redder as you nodded and smiled, looking up at Jean and silently asking if he was okay on his own. He didn’t hold back his scoff at that, waving you off. “These are my friends too, remember? I’ll be fine, go ahead.” Your smile widened as you immediately turned and bee-lined to where Eren was sitting. The pain Jean felt had a sort of sick nostalgia to it, reminding him of the day he witnessed the blush on your face when Eren had walked through the door. Taking a deep breath and clapping his hands together, he feigned the most convincing smile he had and turned towards Marco.

“I need another shot!”

     “So what was that about?” Eren laughed lowly, tilting his head toward Jean after you took the seat he offered. “Huh? What do you mean?” You questioned, completely oblivious to what he was hinting at. “You looked like you were asking him for permission to sit with me or something, he isn’t your boyfriend or anything right?” You didn’t know why, but this comment slightly annoyed you. Maybe it was the condescending tone he put on, or the subtle diss to your best friend. You didn’t know, but it didn’t sit right. Shrugging it off you decided he probably didn’t mean in that way and you put on a smile. “Nah, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t ditching him. He’s my best friend.” Eren gave an exaggerated sigh of relief as a smug expression took over his features. “Well, that sure is a relief.” He says smoothly, putting a hand on your knee.

     You felt nothing but confusion when you didn’t get butterflies, but another hint of annoyance. What is wrong with you? You’ve liked Eren for years, this should be a dream come true! But it wasn’t, and things were moving too fast for you at the moment. It’s not like you were a “prude” or anything, you just couldn’t push down the bad feeling you had in your gut. “Uh haha, yeah! Can you give me a sec? I really have to use the bathroom!” Eren assured it was no problem, and you quickly stood up causing his hand to slip off of your knee. You walked a little faster than you normally would to the bathroom, turning and locking the door behind you. You felt nothing but frustration toward yourself, why are you being this way? Before this moment, if Eren would have asked you to hook up, you thought you would have gladly said yes. You enjoyed texting him and you found him very attractive, so what is this dread?

     You fixed your hair and outfit as much as you could, trying to freshen up before you go back into the crowded living room. On your way back to the couch where you were sitting, you decided to stop at the kitchen and take two more shots. Maybe it was your nerves and the anticipation that caused your hesitation, the alcohol should help with that. Taking a deep breath, you readied yourself and headed back to your spot. Turning your gaze to where Eren had been, you froze. There he was, with a random girl sitting on his lap as he whispered in her ear.

-

     Jean sighed, stepping into the guest bedroom and sitting on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and silently cursed himself. He wanted to have fun, he really did. But the moment he saw that flustered expression of yours from Eren’s presence, all he wanted to do was go home and feel bad for himself. His thoughts were racing, and it was probably the alcohol but he found himself becoming more angry than sad. Why didn’t you want him? He deserved you, he had always been there and he knows he could treat you so much better than that douchebag ever could. You deserve better, and fuck, so does he.

     The sound of the door being pushed open broke him out of his thoughts, and he was more than surprised to see you entering. He could already tell you were upset, he just couldn’t put his finger on the reason why. “Weren’t you with-” “I go to the bathroom for two minutes and he immediately starts trying to get into another girl’s pants? Can you believe that? I mean honestly” You continued your rant to Jean, but it was falling on deaf ears. He was getting more and more frustrated, the feeling settling in his bones as he tried to calm himself down. “I mean we aren’t dating, but all of our friends saw me sitting with him, you know how stupid he made me look? I just-” Jean whipped his head at you, a sharp glare meeting your gaze. “You want me to be real with you, y/n? He didn’t make you look stupid. You do that yourself pretty well.” The room went dead silent. You considered for a moment he was messing with you, and you let out a laugh of disbelief. “Jean what the fuck-” He stood up from his spot, his glare only hardening.

     “No! Just stop for a second. I’m so sick and tired of you fucking complaining to me when it’s you who chooses to settle for assholes who obviously don’t care about you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just a fucking idiot. But I know you’re not, and thats what frustrates me so much, you know that? You treat yourself like shit and then want me to be there to be the person who makes you feel better. I can’t do it anymore, I really can’t.” His voice had risen a little, but that wasn’t what got to you. It was the seriousness in his tone, you knew he was being genuine. Your eyes welled up with tears, feeling like you just got punched. “Jean, I-”

     “Let me finish y/n. I have always been there for you. Always. Despite the fact that you never got over Eren. Every time he ghosted you, who was there? You know what that’s like? To watch the person you’ve been in love with for years settle for the first asshole who comes her way? Do you have any idea what that does to me? You do realize you’ve been fucking torturing me for the last four years, right?” Your mouth went completely dry, and for the first time since this conversation began, you looked him in the eyes and felt even worse when you saw the glassiness of them. Your breath got shallow as your emotions intensified, your mind racing of all the times you had literally cried on his shoulder, and you thought of how bad he must have been hurting. He kept it to himself for your sake, not wanting you feel upset or worry about him, and you never noticed a thing. Fuck, how could you have been so selfish?

     You didn’t even think about it, your body moving on what felt like autopilot when you grabbed the boy by his collar and pulled him into a kiss. He stiffened, obviously very surprised at your action, before putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling back. His face was a cherry red when he searched your features, shaking his head with a sad expression. “y/n, I don’t want you to do this out of pity. Plus, you’re probably shit-faced right now.” You shook your head and put your hands on his wrists, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m only buzzed Jean, and this isn’t out of pity. A part of me has always loved you. I just have a habit of ruining things in my life and I really didn’t want you to be one of them.” Your eyes got impossibly wetter and a part of you was surprised they hadn’t fallen down your cheeks yet.

     Jean remained silent for what seemed like hours as he examined you expression. His eyes softened and you heart stopped when his hand went to the back of your neck to pull you into another heated kiss. It was a natural reflex the way you gripped onto the front of his shirt, your heart beating at a race you didn’t even know was possible. “Damn, he's a good kisser.” you thought to yourself. You gasped slightly at the feeling of his tongue brushing against your bottom lip. You deepened the kiss and fell back on the bed, pulling him down with you. He pulled away, breathing heavily when a smile grew on his face. “Where are you?” He got up from his position on top and walked to the door, turning the lock with a click. He stalked back to where you were sitting, standing between your legs as he towered over you. “I’ve waited for this for years, I’m not going to wait any longer.”

      Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you looked up at him, a slight pout to your lips. Jean reached his hand down to your face, squeezing both of your cheeks to even further tilt your gaze towards him. “How about it then, pretty girl? Wanna have some fun?” You didn’t hesitate to respond, trying your best to nod in his tight grip. “Yes, please Jean, please.” Although your voice was a little muffled, Jean got the message loud and clear. He gave a soft smile, furthering his hand down to lightly squeeze your throat instead. “Okay then, open wide angel.” You felt a little confused but listened anyway, opening your mouth wide for the boy above you. “What is he gonna-” your thoughts were cut off when you watched, almost in slow motion as Jean leaned over and spit into your open mouth. You froze for a fraction of a second, your mind racing as the excitement grew within you. That’s not what you were expecting but you were not complaining. Jean’s long index finger tilted your chin up, closing your mouth as he kept eye contact with you. “Swallow.” He said in a gentle yet demanding tone, and you knew you couldn’t make yourself say no to him. You swallowed the spit slowly, choosing to keep quiet and wait for his next move.

     “Look at you, such a good girl.” he pushed your body further up the bed so you were laying rather than sitting and once again hovered over you. “Gonna have to thank you for that, huh?” You squeezed your thighs together at his words, anticipation growing impossibly higher. He sat back on his calves, sitting between your legs as he spread them apart around him. His fingers ghosted up your legs, stopping at the hem of your shorts. He didn’t move an inch after that, looking at you expectedly. “Well, I’m waiting? You know all good girls ask nicely, right?” He couldn’t stop the smug expression from taking over even if he tried. You squirmed in his hold, desperate for some sort of contact. “Please Jean, I can’t wait anymore. I need you.” You closed your eyes as you felt him unbutton your shorts, sliding them off with ease along with your panties. “Gotta make sure you’re comfortable baby, tell me if it hurts, kay?” He slowly entered a finger inside you, his thumb circling around your clit slowly. Your lip was pulled in between your teeth as you bit down hard enough to almost draw blood. “Oh, fuck.” He softly laughed at that, going slightly faster to elicit more reactions from you. “That’s right baby, lemme hear you, yeah?” You didn’t hold back, letting out a moan knowing the music blasting outside would drown it out. Jean added another finger and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, you had never felt bliss like this before.

     “E-enough Jean.” You let out through strained breaths, and Jean felt himself grow cold for second with fear. Fuck, were you regretting this? “I don’t want to wait anymore, I want you inside me. Please.” Jean’s chest filled with relief as he shook his head at you. “You needy baby, alright, I’ll give you what you want.” Jean pulled his fingers out of you, and stuck them in your mouth with no hesitation. “You sure you ready for me, sweet girl?” He pulled his pants and boxers off, lining himself up with you. You nodded frantically, putting your hands on his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. Jean pushed himself into you, pulling away from the kiss to let out a deep groan as his head fell onto your shoulder. “Fuck, you feel so good around me baby. You’re so good for me, you know that? I’ve wanted this for so long and it’s more than I could have ever imagined.” He ranted on almost senselessly as he was overwhelmed with emotion. “I love you so much, sweet girl. So so much.” You felt tears prick your eyes, from both the pleasure and his sentiment. “I love you Jean, I love you.” those words had more of an affect on him than anything else you said that night, and he felt himself coming close to the edge. “I think I’m gonna-” “Me too baby” he interrupted, placing his hand back on your throat and squeezing. ��Cum with me, angel.” His words and the pressure on your neck was enough to send you over, raking your nails down his back leaving marks. He collapsed on top of you, his head resting in your neck as a tired smile rested on his face. You brought your hand up to scratch his scalp, completely fuck-drunk and forgetting of anything else that happened prior to this moment.

     “So that’s why you always open my car door for me, huh?”

✧༺☆༻∞

omg omg im so nervous to post this, not only is it my longest fic but this is the first time i have ever written anything remotely smutty before😳 if its not good pls be patient w me i am very new to this hehe

[beann-e]

“ honestly Suna sometimes it feels like your just sitting there — calculating — thinking of ways that you can piss me off” you let out in a huff of anger as you slammed your hand onto the arm rest placed in the middle of the car. Voice loud enough to be heard from a mile away and then some “ And then you don’t even fucking care “

“ I’m sorry you feel that way “

“ seriously ? seriously Suna “

“ oh I’m sorry would you like me to say it jokingly? “

The silence that towered over the both of you was tall and it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon “ WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY “ his hand came up to run down his face as he sighed

“ look I'm sorry baby but — “

“ but nothing — I'm tired Rin—I'm tired of you screwing with me“ you groaned “ honestly at this point just fuck off “

he moved to pull the keys from the car unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door as your jaw hung open “ what the fuck Suna — “

“ I'm fucking off you ungrateful bit—“

“ you asshole — all of a sudden you take everything literal right ?? huh only when you want to right “

“ y’know what— no you fuck off —ok y/n “

“ see that’s what I'm talking about “

“ honestly I doubt you even know what you were talking about in the first place “

your steps quickened as you followed after the male who stopped at your front door imputing the code and opening your house door “ This is what I mean by you keep fucking with me Suna “

“ oh “ he moved to sit down on the couch arms flung behind it and legs spread wide out in front of him. “ is it really— because , the 40 minute argument in the car about your best friend hitting on me didn’t quite make that clear “ he scoffed shaking his head along with it “ your shitty reasoning must of gotten lost on one of the many streets of Japan y/n “

His eyes glowing body perking up with his next sentence “ yknow what how about you go find it hmm then we can have this little talk sometime later -- preferably when I'm sleeping id hate to be awake for another one of your hellish complaints babe.”

your anger was only growing as the argument continued “ you fucking douchebag I bet you don’t even know why I'm pissed off “

He let out a small sigh of a laugh his legs shaking and hitting each other in a wave before they resumed their earlier position “ I don’t“

“ and you don’t care either do you “

“ I don’t “

Your heart broke for the first time ever in your relationship with the stoic male after hearing his words and tone. In all the time you and your boyfriend had been together you two never argued about his lack of emotion or care.

It never bothered you

It never affected you

until it did

4 hours ago

You smiled up at the taller male as his mouth continued to run while talking to the rest of his volleyball team. This was the first time you’d ever seen him talk for more than 5 minutes with anything other then yeah’s and small mhmms.

The both of you had been invited to a class reunion and you only decided to go because of his new teams constant nagging

Suna had been telling you all week to find something else to do and that you didn’t have to go with him. That it would be too boring and long and that you would be better off having fun without him.

Of course you put up a fight but, ultimately lost and decided to hang out by yourself for the earlier half of the day spending last weeks paycheck on this weeks shopping spree

it felt nice to treat yourself but you couldn’t help but want to treat your boyfriend too. The thought of him being bored alone plagued your mind and you had to get it out.

The only way to do that was to go to the reunion.

Now how you imagined it would go is you show up in your fancy new dress surprising him smile a bit , talk up some of the host and sneak your way in and then mingle and go home and cuddle and kiss your boyfriend all night

funny thing is somewhere in that prewritten script you had created you didn’t realize imagination is not always reality.

The sight of your boyfriend leaning against a wall with a glass in his hand and his other on the string of your best friends dress had you reeling in the disgust that you wanted to spill so badly on the floor right now

All you’d done was go to the restroom but now you sat with your eyes widening while you watched his eyebrows come together in annoyance with the string that wouldn’t come undone.

Your best friend faced away from him back to his chest and a small smile on her face. Cheeks heated from his touch and in that moment you cursed her for having a look on her face that made it visible how much she enjoyed his warmth. You wished she didn’t make it so obvious how the closeness to your boyfriend was making her feel

how it was encouraging her

Your heart broke when you seen Suna finally relax and blow air out of his cheeks before nodding softly almost thanking the gods that he figured it out and it was over

Your feet moving before you could even process what to say to either of them.

“ y-y/—“

your hand came in contact with your best friends face before she could even finish the loud slap echoing through the room as everyone turned to find the source of the noise

Eyebrows raising when they noticed it was not only a slap but a full on one sided battle between you and the girl who everyone seen as nice and quiet during your school years

They never knew of the undercover bitch that was lurking behind the surface. They’d never see the way she was smirking as she took every hit given to her in stride. Your boyfriends hands wrapping around your torso as he looked down and seen that you were hovering over her ripping her to bits

You never letting go of the grip your thighs held around her own as she whispered to where only you could hear “ aw poor y/n’s defending someone that doesn’t even want em—gonna go to jail for someone so unloyal huh “

Your eyes lit up with pure hatred as the security made their way over to you reaching to take you from Sunas hold and lessening your grip on the woman beneath you

“ sir we need you to let her go “

“ don’t touch me until you actually make it all the way to police academy you fucking lowlife. “ you spit out “ how the hell do you only make it to security much less high school reunion security “

“ the hell do you know — you don’t even know how hard police academy is asshole “

“ ah I bet your kids’ll be real proud “ your eyes squinted at his name tag “ todd — you kiss your wife with that mouth “

you laughed eyes rolling from him to suna “ or are you like this asshole and kiss your mistress with it instead ? huh toodles ? “

“ ha — ‘m gonna have fun with you--ya little prick. sir — let ‘em go or else i’ll pull out the big guns — they snuck in here and now their disrespecting an officer “

“ big guns “ your laugh circulated through the room “ ‘k sure let me stop before I get pepper sprayed “

“ my hands already on the trigger you lil bitc— “

“ hey “ sunas voice growled behind you “ watch who the fuck your talking to toodles“

“ just— get—get the fuck off dude I didn’t go to police academy so I could avoid this — their full on disrespecting me come on man get off“ your face scrunched up in annoyance as you saw the security look like they were about to cry

“ well I mean — “ he sighed “ it’s not like your a real officer right“ suna sighed out as he began to bite his lip in worry “ I mean we can let this slide right ? “ he nodded looking towards the males name badge “ uh toodles“

He coughed “ todd — I mean todd “

“ I’m sorry but, even if I could “ his gaze dead set on you “ which I really don’t want to — seeing as though they disrespected me “

His voice sounding proud as he continued “ and I'll have you know I'm security guard of the mouth asshole “

“ oh whoop dee fucking do Tinkerbelle ”

“ y-fucking-/n “ you could feel the way Suna was seething above you breath hot and you could tell his face was made up in a snarl “ if you don't shut the fuck up I swear on Atsumu’s unwashed boxers ill leave your ass prison letters starting tonight “

“ see —— sir I'm trying “ he sighed “ I really am trying to let this go but — “

“ their with me — “

“sure “ he scoffed “ I'll need to see some relations or — “

“ their my s/—their my plus one “ his eyes moved to look at everyone surrounding you guys then back to the position he now held you in before finally dropping you to the floor. Your heart dropping and ears tuning everything out from that point on.

Everything on mute until you got in the car and were finally met with his low voice as he buckled you in and walked to his side turning the car on “ y/n “

You turned to look out the window “ y/n that — “

His voice was so hard but so weak “ y/n that was so fucking embarrassing “ Your body shivered at his words

“ having to watch my fucking s/o almost get fucking arrested “

His hands tightened their grip on the wheel “ then turning around and having to talk you out of it in front of our whole graduating class “

his voice went deadpanned as he swerved a bit on the road mixing lanes “ and — and my team — oh fuck my team “

he started to breathe a bit heavier as you began to feel bad hearing the sadness in his voice. His body shifting in his seat “ all so you could “

he laughed a bit at the situation “ all so you could take your ugly ass insecurities out on your friend ? “

he scoffed looking from you to the road and back to you “ when did you two even stop being friends huh ? did I miss that or ?? do friends just go out and leave bruises on each other or is that something new? What-- is it like a new TikTok trend -- a fashion statement huh ?? the fuck is it because, I'm not a friend person so maybe you know something I don’t “

He scoffed “ maybe — maybe I'll never be a friend person after something like that. If friends are just beating each other’s asses in broad day light out the fucking blue then I'll just stick with ‘tsumu at least I know I can beat his ass if he were to pull some shit like that “

‘ friend ‘ you thought silently

“ poor kid didn’t even see it coming “ he shook his head at you turning back to the road “ holy hell that’s shameful y/n “

he whispered “ I don’t even wanna think about the rumors that’ll spread about us tomorrow “

The car was quiet only for a minute as Suna re arranged his thoughts before he could beat into you again “ friend Suna ? “

your voice was dry “ Rin do friends help each other out of their clothes ? “

your eyebrows creased “ do they focus so intently on another woman while their own is in the same room “

“ I didn’t know you were there “

“ SO YOU ONLY TAKE FRIENDS CLOTHES OFF WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ NO I “

“ YOU ONLY TOUCH OTHER WOMEN WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ y/n jus— “ he took a deep breathe and let it out “ just shut up its not like that “ he let out an uncomfortable and tired scoff of a laugh “ it wasn't like that “

“ it’s always shut up Suna it’s never ‘ what’s wrong y/n ‘ ‘ are you ok y/n ‘ it’s just ‘ shut up I don’t wanna talk so you don’t wanna talk either ‘ “

you locked eyes with the male in front of you “ I'm done Rin I'm— I'm done “

“ you cant leave me-- heh not after that shit you pulled back there  “ 

“ fuck if I cant--you don't look like my legs to me and as far as I know their still Bluetooth connected to my mind so-- “

“ you'll be an overnight clown you-you need me y/n “ he shook his head “ we need each other “ 

“ no you need volley ball because you need money-- because guess what asshole as of right now-- your homeless”

“ fuck you as if “

“ we’re over Suna don't let my words finally hit you when you walk out the shitty door”

“ that’s fine by me “ he scoffed “ get the hell out for all I care — I'll pack your shit for you “

“ no— I'll pack your shit asshole your living  in my house bottom feeder “

“ if you don’t shut the fuck u— “

“ then what ? huh what — you’ll leave me “

“ I swear to god I'll —”

“ you’ll what cheat on me with my best friend ah I'm so scared — “ your voice holding nothing but mock enthusiasm “ I can just imagine the way you’ll kiss her when I'm not there — these thoughts for some reason almost feels real y’know “

you watched as the man you’d taught yourself to love for 7 years since high school finally walked out the door. His perfume from earlier still hanging in the air long after the door slammed. Your mind racing when you were finally brought to one thought

‘ how did we end up like this and how the hell do we get back ‘

[cheesy-cakey]

note this is a hatter au from a wattpad book I wrote.

You Weren't there

Kalim X Reader Angst

We had graduated.

We got married.

He inherited his family's riches.

We had a son.

We were happy...

We WERE.

I gazed out the window of my quarters.

I was no longer a Hatter... I was now an Al-Asim.

The Hatter name had died out the moment I decided to be a part of Kalim's family. I still owned our land and property. But I had no use for it.

I thought that this was going be our happily ever after.

Holding the one I love close. Kalim embracing me and our son.

But I guess reality doesn't have a happy ending... Especially us Hatter's.

As I watched the scene out the window.

In the garden was Kalim... With his 2rd wife and daughter.

Yes, that's right. I may be Kalim's first wife... but that doesn't mean I'm the only one.

I watched as he held her hand while with the other he carried his daughter.

I moved away from the window and sat on the plush bed of my quarters.

"How could I be so stupid. How could I be so blind. why did I think... That out of all the people in the world. I would have a happy ending." I muttered to myself as I leaned back on my arms tears pricking out of my eyes.

I went back to the window watching them hold each other close. I traced my hand on the glass feeling the coolness of the material.

I kneeled on the floor hand on the window sill while the other was on the floor.

"If happy ever after did exist~" I sang as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I would still be holding you like this~"

"All those fairy tales are full of sh*t"

"One more f*cking love song I'll be sick" I sobbed as I was never meant to have a happy ever after.

3rd POV

Little did Y/N know that someone came to visit.

Watching through the crack from the slightly opened door.

Ali Al-Asim watched as his mother broke down crying.

"Why... why of all people... why does it have to be mother that suffers?"

He walked away knowing that it's better to not disturb her like this... He knew seeing him would just remind her of the happy ending she could've had.

He returned to him quarters and sat in one of the chairs in his room.

"Mother... You shouldn't be suffering like this... You told me father loved you... You said he loved you more than the stars in the sky... then why... why does he treat you this way? why does he neglect you? weren't we happy? weren't you happy?" He leaned his head back as tears pricked out his eyes.

"I never get to see you smile anymore. The smile that could shine brighter than the sun. Your eyes became dull... no longer full of hope and happiness like the stars."

he slammed his first into the table Infront of him as tears fell from his face.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER!?"

The 15 year old couldn't bear to see his mother like this...

He's seen her cry too many times...

-Time Skip-

It was Ali's 16th birthday.

Which means a big celebration...

But his mother as much as she wants to attend she couldn't bring herself to leave her room.

The Hatter that used to be full of life, laughing, singing, dancing. The Hatter that enjoyed parties and seeing her friends smile... lost her spark.

-At the celebration-

"Happy Birthday, Young Master, Ali!" The servants cheered.

"Happy birthday, My son!" Kalim exclaimed as he greeted his first born.

"Thank you, Father!" Ali exclaimed with a smile.

"You're 16 now, which school do you wanna attend, Ali!?" His father asked excitedly.

"I want to go to Night Raven College! That's where you went to right, Father?"

"Yes, I did! Me and your uncle Jamil went there together!"

"Then it's settled, NRC it is!"

"I could have the headmaster make you dorm head as well!"

"No, Father. I wish to become dorm head with my own skills." He stated.

"Haaaah? fine, if that is what my son wants. Now everyone! enjoy the party!"

he walked away as he went to meet other guests.

A lot of people were here. His uncles from NRC. His Friends. even his half sister.

But there was only one person Ali wanted to be here.

Ali stood up from his seat and sneaked away.

He went to the quarters of someone he held dear.

he knocked on the door and heard a come in.

"Good evening, mother" he said with a soft smile.

"Ah! Ali, Happy Birthday" She replied with a tired but loving smile.

she was sitting by the window with it being wide open allowing the wind to enter.

He went closer the his mother and kneeled beside her.

"How are you feeling?" Ali asked.

"I'm feeling very well. So how is your birthday?"

"Nevermind the birthday. I just want to stay here with you" he said as he buried his face into her dress resting his head on her lap.

The lady giggled at her son's statement, watching him with caring eyes.

"I have a present for you" She said as she brought out a box.

Ali raised his head.

"Mother... you didn't have to" he said as he received it.

"Oh, but I do. this is something I've been meaning to give you"

Ali opened the box to see a top hat, a golden silk snake wrapping around the hat with a single Jasmine flower.

"It used to be mine. Sometimes in the Hatter family we give it to the person we marry but sometimes we also keep it. But this time it's time to pass it on to the descendant. I redecorated it for you. do you like it?" The elegant lady smiled as she remembered her memories with the hat and proud to be able to hand it down.

Ali looked as the hat.

"I love it... thank you mother" He thanked as he lied down on her lap once again.

"I'm glad you do, my dear son" She placed a hand on his white hair exactly the same as his father's.

Sher stroked his head gently as the moon shone down on them through the window.

-Timeskip-

It was now time for Ali to go to Night Raven College. He said farewell to everyone and as he was about to get on the Ebony Carriage he looked up to a window to see his mother smiling at him. he smiled back and entered.

-at the dorm sorting-

Ali was up next to be sorted.

"State thy name"

"Ali Al-Asim"

"The shape of thy soul... I see you best improve in Scarabia."

He stepped away from the mirror and joined the other students that were sorted into Scarabia.

He will make his mother proud.

-Time skip-

It had been a week since he had arrived. And just like that he had became a dorm head not from money but from skill.

He was currently in potions taught by Professor Crewel.

His phone then suddenly rang.

"Excuse me, Professor. I need to take this call"

"Of course, pup. but next time I won't be allowing it."

Ali answered his phone and it was one of the servants.

He was analysing his potion while he answered.

"What is it? I told you not to call me around this time because I'm in class."

"Apologies, young master. But it's about Lady Y/N"

"Mother? what about her? does she miss me? tell her I'll visit this weekend."

"It's not that sir"

"what is it then?"

"she umm"

"spit it out"

"The lady has passed away"

Ali suddenly dropped the beaker shattering it to a million pieces.

"Al-Asim! bad pup! what are you doing!?"

Ali stood up knocking his seat over. He slammed his hand on his desk that still had the shattered glass and spilled potion. good thing that the potion doesn't give much effect since it wasn't finished.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PASSED AWAY!?" He yelled as tears pricked from his eyes.

"Al-Asim?" his professor called out worried.

"I mean what I exactly said, young master. The lady passed away earlier this morning. when the servant went to serve her breakfast she didn't wake up. they tried waking her up then realized she wasn't moving. they called a physician... and he said the lady had passed away"

"no... you're lying"

"Ali Al-Asim, what's wrong? Get your hands off the desk your starting to bleed." Crewel said as he took the boys hand from the broken glass and started cleaning it.

"Mother... is she really dead?"

"yes, sir"

"wait... your mother?" his professor asked

"As in... Y/N? she's... no longer with us?" his eyes wide as saucers.

Ali fell on his knees tears spilling not showing any signs of stopping any time soon.

"Mother... no... no... no no no NO! SHE CAN'T BE GONE!" He sobbed.

"Ashengrotto, take him to the infirmary to clean his wound up. The rest of you dismissed. I need to speak with the head master."

"Yes, professor"

-time Skip-

currently Ali was in the head masters office.

"Al-Asim. I heard what had happened. I'll let you go home for as long as you need. I apologize for your loss. You can use the mirror to go home." Crowley said as he watched the boy sob.

he himself wanted to cry since one of the most lovable students he had, had passed away.

"Your mother... was an incredible woman. Not only as a student but as a friend to the rest. It's a shame she... had to leave us so early. I thought that maybe... I'd be dead by the time she leaves."

"Thank you, headmaster... I'll be... heading out now" Ali exited the room and went to the mirror and went home.

Once he had arrived he was greeted by the servants but he just walked right pass.

His sister also greeted him, but he continued walking.

soon he arrived at his mother's bedroom. He saw her... looking like she's sleeping soundly... knowing she's never waking up again.

He walked to her bed side. held her now cold hand and feel to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably

"Mother!... Why.... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE! I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE HAPPY ENDING YOU DESERVE! BUT WHAT!? YOU ENDED YOUR STORY WITH LONGING THAT WAS NEVER FULFILLED!? WHY!?" he cried... not leaving her side for the rest of the day.

During her funeral, all her friends from NRC came. Tears spilled everywhere as they found their dear friend no longer with them.

they approached Ali who just stood by her coffin.

"Sorry... for your loss... Ali"

He just kept silent.

For the long duration of her funeral... Not once did his father... the man his dear mother loved and longed for, show up.

This had made the boy even more upset. but that did not overpower the sorrow he had.

-Time Skip-

The funeral had long ended...

His mother was buried...

he returned to school but barely spoke.

"Al-Asim... pup. I suggest you go meet with Professor Yuu. You need it"

Ali merely nodded as he went to his magicless professor who taught about monsters and health.

"Ali... take a seat"

Ali sat down across him.

"You haven't been sleeping have you... you have bags under your eyes. You look pale. Ali"

He just sat there.

"I know... I know you're depressed... Your mother was my vice prefect back in our school days. she was a wonderful woman to be with... she laughed... she sang... she smiled... but you know what I love most about her?"

Ali looked up and looked at Yuu.

"She makes people around her smile as well. She wouldn't want you to act like this. Y/N, She too lost a parent in her younger days. But that didn't stop her from being happy... She always had joy in her eyes... and you know you have her E/C eyes as well"

"So please... Don't let this bring you down. Your mother... Be like her. someone who smiles, laughed and most of all makes others do the same. sure reality doesn't have a happy ending. But you're writing your own story so make sure it leads to one."

Ali thought about it. looks back down... looks at the mirror in the room and looked straight into his E/N coloured eyes.

"You're right, Professor. Even if mother is gone... I should make her proud" Ali stood up with smile.

Ali bowed.

"Thank you, Professor Yuu!"

"Just call me, Yuu."

Ali smiled and ran off back to his dorm and to his room.

Yuu on the other hand stood up and went to the window and looked at the sky.

"I wish... I could've held you one last time... Y/N... I loved you so much" Yuu said as he let the tears fall.

Ali pulled a box from under his bed and opened it...

It may not fit his outfit but it doesn't matter.

he stood up holding the object and went to a mirror.

He looked straight at it and placed the hat he was given on his head.

"I'll prove... that I can give us a happy ending, Mother"

and with that Ali changed... He changed for the better. all the old staff watched him... and it reminded them of someone who they once cherished in this school.

-Time Skip-

it's been 2 years since Y/N's passing. Ali Al-Asim was now 18 years old. A third year.

But what's interesting is. when his 1st year ended the mirror had announced something... He was transferred to a different dorm.

-Flashback-

Just as they were all about to leave.

"Wait... It seems someone's soul had reshaped into something new." the mirror had stated.

"What? but that's not possible" Crowley said in surprise.

"Ali Al-Asim... Step forward"

Ali hesitantly stepped up.

"Yes... it seems your soul had reshaped... though you are still suited to be a part of Scarabia... Your heart... Is perfect for the Ramshackle Dorm"

"Isn't that"

"Your mother's old dorm... well it seems like you're becoming just like your mother" Crowley smiled as he placed a hand on the boys shoulder.

-end of flashback-

And since then he became the dorm head of the Ramshackle. His hat suited his outfit. he was happy.

And right now the 18 year old was going to make a decision that'll change his life.

Currently standing Infront of his father, Kalim Al-Asim. wearing a somewhat butler outfit somewhat similar to that of what his mother wore back in her younger days as a Hatter.

"Father... I don't wish to be an Al-Asim anymore."

"What? could you repeat that?"

"I don't want to be an Asim."

"But son! you're my eldest! you're my successor!"

"And I don't want to be your successor!"

"why!?"

"I want to continue mother's legacy!" Ali yelled as he gripped his wrist behind his back while looking down.

"what?"

"I want to be a Hatter! I want to carry on the Hatter name! I want to do this for mother! it the least you could let me do"

"the least I could let you do?"

"Yes! The most you could do was probably be there for her!"

"Ali"

"You left her all alone! making her cry every night! every night for you!"

"She didn't get her happily ever after! Cause you weren't there there for her! you weren't there for us!HECK She would've been contented with just you being there even if you didn't love her anymore!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN COME TO HER FUNERAL!" Ali snapped.

"I know you are aware that You're naive, gullible, oblivious and all that. but please... just see it... the least you could do" Ali looked up and looked Kalim straight in the eyes.

Kalim staring back into E/C colored orbs that was exactly the same as his wife that had recently passed away.

He looked down and took a deep breathe

"Alright"

"Huh?"

"I'll... let you go..."

"Really?"

"yes... as you said... it's the least I could do for not even attending the funeral."

"Thank you... father" Ali smiled as he walked away.

this was a new start for Ali... Becoming just like his mother. Writing a happily ever after for them.

We can't say the same for Kalim though.

He sat at his chair.

His 2rd wife entered the room and sat beside him.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"To leave the family"

"what?"

"He... wanted to become a Hatter to continue Y/N's legacy."

"I see... don't worry I'm here... and besides I'm sure we can make a new heir."

"I'm not in the mood"

"But, dear~"

right then and there Kalim snapped.

"I SAID IM NOT IN THE MOOD!" He yelled.

"BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN FAMILY THREATENING TO HURT MY SON AND MY BELOVED WIFE I WAS FORCED TO NEGLECT HER!"

"IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAMN FAMILY I WOULD PROBABLY BE HOLDING HER RIGHT NOW WITH ANOTHER CHILD!"

"ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO LOVE YOU! YOU'RE DELUSIONAL IF YOU THINK I WOULD!"

"What is it... WHAT IS IT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T!?"

"My heart... that's what it is... SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING! HER SMILE THAT WAS PRACTICALLY MY SUN! HER EYES THAT SHIMMERED LIKE THE STARS!"

"SHE DESERVES TO BE DEAD! SHE'S NOT FIT TO BE YOUR WIFE! SHE'S NOT FIT TO HAVE YOU! ME, ME, ME! IT WAS ME WHO SHOULD HAVE YOU! SHE'S HIDEOUS! SHE'S DUMB! SHE'S NAIVE! SO WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE THAT ABOUT HER! FIRST OF ALL SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TO HAVE EVER EXISTED THAT EVEN VIL SAID SO! YOU WOULD NEVER BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HER! SECOND SHE GRADUATED FROM NRC WITH TOP GRADES FITTING INTO THE TOP 50! SHE KNOWS MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL! AND THIRD OF ALL SHE'S NOT AS NAIVE AS YOU THINK! SHE EXPERIENCED THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD TO THE POINT SHE WAS ALMOST BROKEN! BUT SHE JUST SMILED AND SAID THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST FINE! I BET YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT IF IT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU! FACE IT I'LL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME I DO WITH HER!"

"THAT'S WHY I KILLED HER SO YOU WOULD ONLY LOOK AT ME- MPH!" she clasped her mouth shut trembling from what came out.

"what? WHAT did you just say?"

"n-nothing!"

"WE HAD A DEAL! YOU WOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL OF THIS!"

"I-I didn't mean to!"

"DIDN'T MEAN TO MY *SS! AS IF I'D BELIEVE THAT! JAMIL!"

Soon Jamil entered the room. in truth he was about to enter till he heard screaming and heard the entire thing.

"Yes, Kalim"

"Take her away. make her confess EVERYTHING that she had done. After that could you call Azul? I want to have a talk with him to deal with something."

"Yes, of course" Jamil left with the 2nd wife being taken away by guards.

"WAIT! KALIM PLEASE! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

As they all left the room Kalim sat down and tears started running down his face.

"Why was I so stupid? thinking I could protect you without having to hurt anyone but as a result I ended up hurting you... then lost you. I should've dealt with them from the start. I should've just been there for you... now I not only lost you... but I lost our son too... haha! why am I so stupid?"

For the rest of the night Kalim just cried. knowing can never bring you back.

-END-

"isn't that an interesting timeline."

"Didn't know that there would be a bad ending to their story. I hope this timeline won't stick it would be so sad~" a voice said as she closed a book that's titled 'You Weren't there'

soon the book started to become grains of sand.

"oh? what is this?"

"The timeline is disintegrating"

"I guess that means that story won't be sticking around."She then pushed up her glasses as she looked back at the millions of books being written each having a pen that glows with inspiration and life."I wonder who's story would be finished next~ would the story disappear? or will it be part of the official collection?"

"Let's see what endings are in-store~ After all"

"I am the story keeper~"

[bibbykins]

Rocking Chairs and Rocking Cars

A/N: No full blown smut here, but ofc horny thoughts remain! I should be posting the aftermath texts and what not soon, but I hope you enjoy this in the mean time! It’s a bit rushed, but I hope that doesn’t ruin the experience for you! As always, tips are appreciated since I am saving up to buy a house with my gf, but ofc tips are not required! Hope you all have a great day/night!

Note: This is a drabble for The Household’s Bunny Series

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jungkook x Chubby! Reader x Soft Yandere! Hoseok

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: 18+, crying, lonliness, body image issues, unhealthy workout habits, abandonment, allusions to body dysmorphia, mommy issues, grinding, lustful thoughts, mentions of cumming, mentions of erections, pussy cupping (?), not rlly yandere although this is kinda a soft yandere series, obsessive behaviors, low self esteem, horrible communication, mentions of anxiety, mentions of car shaking

The house was quiet, and somehow knowing that no one else was home made your floor feel that much more empty. Granted, none of the guys came up all that often. Ever the gentlemen, they actively tried not to intrude on your space. Although, you really wish they did on days like these. It was 10am on a Saturday morning, although the lack of natural light could fool anyone otherwise. The clouds were heavy in the sky, cradling the sunlight in a thick blanket of grey, squeezing themselves for all the water they have. The rain tapped on your window, almost mocking you, reminding you that water was the only company you had.

You debated texting to ask if anyone wanted to come home and have a movie night, or build a fort, or just simply sit next to you, but decided you would just be bothering them. You had that very intimate moment with Jin and Yoongi, and they had remained sweet with you, but you weren’t able to be intimate with them again yet. They had been busy and you had been deprived of the very addicting affection. You’re sure they would come to you if asked, but you didn’t want to be clingy. The last thing you wanted to do was annoy them by following them around like a puppy just because they made you cum. They hadn’t explicitly stated they liked you as anything more than a friend, and you never wanted to go through the embarrassment of assuming such a thing again.

With college almost done, you had nothing to distract you from the looming loneliness you feel sometimes, and it was exhausting. You grew up by yourself, and you swore that would change when you were older. You were determined to be surrounded by people who loved you as much as you loved them, and yet, here you were. You were laying on a couch, watching the rain fall, all by yourself in a 10 floor renovated motel, reaping the consequences of high hopes and naivety your child self didn’t understand. You were never good at making friends, not that your plump figure helped you with your social drawbacks either. Although you made peace with your lack of charisma in person and have made strides to loving your body, the loneliness never subsided for long. 

There were few things you loved more than talking to people and having them listen to you and vice versa, and yet it rarely happened. Maybe you had been spoiled by your seven housemates, so it was making this bout of loneliness that much worse. Since moving in, there was almost always someone home making noise or even talking to you. However, they all told you summer was their busy season, and boy, they weren’t kidding. You had caught mere glimpses of the boys this week, only communicating via text and post it notes. 

You pressed your eyes closed for a moment as you listened to the rain. You thought of your mom. Her cheeks were chubby like yours and you remember her crying when she figured your metabolism was the same as hers, and you couldn’t understand why she hated herself so much that she wanted you to be nothing like her. Your mother had always been beautiful in your opinion, and it was a shame she never saw herself, or you, in that way. You thought about forcing yourself to go to the gym with her for hours on end, just to be able to be next to her. You had always been desperate for her company, desperate to be liked by her. Part of you regrets putting your body through that, but then a part of you is happy you were able to spend time with her until she left. 

Ah, yes, the day she left. That’s exactly what you should be thinking about right now, on a rainy day, all by yourself. You cringed when you felt a tear get a little too close to your ear, wiping it away. You were shocked when you felt even more in its wake. You always felt really silly when you cried, but you figured you might as well let it happen if you're gonna be home alone on a rainy day, thinking of all the ways people avoided spending time with you while you tried even harder to spend time with them. Who's next? Jungyoon? The uncle who took you in just to admit drunkenly how much the sight of you upsets him three hours into your 17th birthday. Your dad? No. That's not wise.

You sighed. Maybe if you had learned better social cues when you were younger, you wouldn't be a college graduate with no friends to talk to.

It didn't take long for you to break into full on sobs. You stuck somewhere between angry at the people who didn't want to be with you and sad that they didn't want to. Childishly, you deemed it wasn't fair and all you could do was cry. You hadn't had a day like this in a while, but holy shit did it suck each time.

Eventually, you ceased your tears and were left a red and puffy mess, so you decided to go to the kitchen to depuff your face with some ice. Then the rest of your day could only go up from here. You had your cry, and even though the elevator was going down, your day would only go-

OH NO WHY IS IT STOPPING AT FLOOR 5?!

You couldn't even think of who it could be as you looked in the mirror at the corner of the elevator and wished to evaporate. You had obviously been crying, terribly. Nevermind you were in a cropped long sleeve, short shorts, and thigh highs, your eyes were red and a little puffy, your cheeks were clearly tear stained, and even your lips were swollen. You couldn't, "oh, it's allergies." Your way out of this one.

"I didn't know you were home, Hobi." You murmured.

"Yeah, I just popped in real quick to grab something before I go back to…" Hoseok's smile dropped the instant he saw your face. You didn't even have the chance to look away, but you tried to anyway. He gently gripped your chin, guiding your eyes to meet his, "Bunny, is everything okay?" 

You pressed your lips together before nodding, "Yeah, it's just…" You glanced at his face, surprised to see him clinging onto your every word, "Sometimes, I get lonely." You shrugged as his eyes widened, "I get to thinking about my mom and…" You made vague hand movements as you shrugged.

He thought for a moment, “Even though we all kind of grew up together, we never really treated each other like more than roommates, but you’re here now.” He pulled you into a tight hug and you gasped before relaxing into his embrace. You closed your eyes for a moment as you held him close to you, "We've all been really busy, I didn't even consider how lonely you would feel." He lamented and you shook your head.

"I'm a big girl, I can be alone." Your words were muffled in his shirt, "It's just a little crying-"

"But you don't have to be alone anymore, and I don't want you to cry, none of us do." He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, "Thinking about my mom used to really ruin my day, doesn't now, so don't worry, but that took time." You nodded, feeling tears creep in again.

"Thank you." You hummed as he pulled back, "Sorry to-"

He shushed you, putting his finger on your lips, shaking his head at your apology.He leaned his forehead on yours, making your breath hitch, "Do you want to go with me?"  He asked softly.

You blinked in confusion, "With you, where?"

His grin only widened and you looked to him skeptically, “Do you trust me?” He asked all too innocently and you nodded, “Then, do you want to go with me?” He asked again as he placed purple-tinted sunglasses on his face.

“I suppose…” You studied his smug face, “Let me go change-” You went to press the next floor so you could get off but were stopped with a soft grip from Hoseok.

“I’m in a bit of a rush, and you look great.” He smiled as the elevator reached the entrance.

You wanted to protest, but you let it be. Surely you would not stick out in the slightly scandalous outfit you were in.Truthfully, it was your body that seemed to make it scandalous to other people. Although, if you had a skirt on, it would just be a typical outfit for you, so maybe it wasn’t so weird? These thoughts ran through your mind as you slipped on some shoes and went into Hoseok’s very nice car. 

So are you gonna tell me where we’re going or…?” You asked as the renowned hair stylist drove with a smirk in response to your question, “Okay Mr. Mysterious, can I ask questions about it until we get there?” You asked cheekily.

He chuckled, “Of course, you can do whatever you want, baby.” His voice was silky smooth and the nickname shot straight to your nether regions and you scolded yourself for it.

“Are we going to a job of yours or am I just running errands with you?” You looked at his unwavering smile as you asked.

“A job, but the client will not mind if you’re there, before you ask.” He stole your next question by answering it smugly. You pursed your lips as you studied him. He was in a lavender dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and sleek navy blue slacks, all of which complimented his black hair. 

You, on the other hand, wore a baby pink turtleneck with the hem ending just barely above your matching form-fitting high-waisted fabric shorts, showing just a sliver of your stomach skin while a lot of your thigh skin was on display with white over-the knee socks. You had taken scandalous photos for your OnlyFans, and if you lifted your arms all the way up, a lacy bralette would greet the outside world. You were just feeling a bit self conscious considering the well dressed man in the car next to you. Sure, you looked cute, but was this level cute appropriate for his job? You didn’t want to make a bad impression and have that effect Hoseok.

“And here we are.” He sang and you snapped back to reality as he parked behind a building that had no defining qualities from the back. The ride went by in a flash and you pouted a bit at not even asking another question.

Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for you as he led you inside with him. The hallways were crowded with people running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Judging by the bits of chatter you could pick up as you scurried behind Hoseok, this was a photography studio and a high-level star was having a photoshoot.

“Oh thank goodness you’re here!” A man that seemed to be in his late 30s sighed in relief when he saw Hoseok, “He is in the worst mood today, and I’m so frightened-who is that?” The man’s wild eyes fixated on you for the briefest of moments and he realized your puffy features and shook his head, “Whatever, just go in there and calm him-”

“This is our housemate, y/n, and the shoot isn’t for another 30 minutes and he just needs hair, right?” Hoseok spoke calmly in spite of the chaos surrounding the both of you as the man nodded, “Great, I just need to touch him up and we’ll calm him down in time to take some good photos.” The man nodded tiredly, “Is the dressing room empty now?”

“Yeah, he kicked everyone out so he could calm down, but that never works.” The man cried out helplessly, “Why is he so frightening?!” Hoseok simply patted the man before navigating the hallways. Frightening? The man shivering looked quite burly and tall, who could be scaring him so much?

The “we’ll” made you nervous, but you held Hoseok’s hand so you wouldn’t get lost until he pushed through a dressing room door, “Hobi’s here.” He chimed and you heard a man behind a partition grunt. You looked around the spacious room to see a comfy looking green L couch along with a wooden rocking chair, which you thought was interesting. Beyond that, there was the typically lavish amount of mirrors and counter space, “I also brought a surprise!” Hoseok sang and you were ripped from your observations.

“It better not be anything dumb-” Jungkook’s voice died on the impact that was emerging from the partition and seeing you. Hise eyes studied your body, namely the slight squish of skin between your socks and shorts, which made his pants feel a bit tight, “Y/n, what…”His voice trailed off when he noticed you had definitely been crying, and not long ago. Right as he was going to accuse Hoseok, he saw you let go of his hand and give him a smile, figuring it wasn’t him that made you upset.

Your eyes brightened when you saw a familiar face, “Oh hi, Kook!” You beamed, “I didn’t realize Hoseok was taking me with him to see you, how nice!” You cheered, “I’ll be out of your way while you work, though!” You went to go sit on the couch as Jungkook nodded, robotically making his way to the chair in front of the mirror. He wore a silky black shirt with a harness around his waist and black slacks with razor thin pinstripes and black dress shoes. His hair was styled mostly to perfection, making you wonder what more there was to do. Alas, you weren’t the professional.

Hoseok looked to the younger man with a smug smile, “Just some last touches need to be done and then you can calm your nerves a bit with our little bunny.” He chided and Jungkook scoffed.

It took no more than five minutes for Hoseok to style the star’s hair into further perfection, “Wow, you look super handsome, Kook!” You cheered, earning a small smile from the man in question.

Hoseo chuckled, “He does indeed.” He cooed, making the younger man scowl, “Now, you have some time to zen out with bunny, use it wisely. I’ll come get you when it’s time.” He patted Jungkook before giving you a wink and exiting the room.

“You having a bad day-”

‘Were you crying?” His voice sliced through yours and you’re taken aback for a moment. With no response, he stood, making his way over to you. He towered over you before leaning down to grip your chin lightly, “Were you?” A hint of worry flashes across his eyes, and you wondered if you were just seeing things.

“Yeah… I was just feeling lonely.” You speak honestly, shrugging, “It’s not a big deal-”

“Why didn’t you call me-or anyone?” He asked, voice rushed as his eyes searched your face for an answer. It’s like an interrogation that you don’t have comprehensive answers for, so you shrug.

“Everyone was busy.” You murmur, “I only cried because I thought about my mom and stuff, it’s okay.” You avoided eye contact with him as you said this, feeling out of your element talking about your mom. This made his mouth part, but he haid no words. He understood what you meant, and that made it all the more harder to comfort you.

Jungkook sighed at how you’ve shrunk under his barrage of questions and sinks down to his knees, his hands going to your waist, stroking the sliver of exposed skin, “Nobody was mean to you, right? You didn’t cry because anyone bothered you?” You smiled at his tenderness before nodding.

You watched his face, studying the cleverly concealed dark circles under his eyes and gave him a sad smile, “Are you having a bad day too, Kook?” You asked softly and he sighed, like he was letting himself relax for the first time before nodding, “I see..” You thought for a moment, unsure how to make him feel better until you remembered, “Did you want to touch my thighs?” You said the first thing that came to mind and before you could be embarrassed, he nodded, "Okay, how do you want me?"

What a question, Jungkook thought, smiling tiredly, "Sit in my lap?" He looked up at you hopefully and you nodded.

"I won't be too heavy or anyth-woah!" You gasped when he lifted you, legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the rocking chair, sitting you both down, "I stand corrected." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck while his hands placed themselves on your thighs.

He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling your thighs in his hands, rocking you both back and forth. In every dressing room, he required a rocking chair, in case he needed to calm down. He debuted at the ripe age of 15 and with no guardian until 17, he was prone to panic attacks. The company sent him to therapy and the rocking chair was introduced. He never let anyone touch the chair, but he couldn't deny how nice it was having you in his arms, cradling his head into your bosom. 

“I like the rocking chair, very calming.” You mused, as if reading his mind and he offered a tired hum in agreement.

The day had truly been terrible. Stage after stage, minimal hours of sleep, and stupid people asking the same stupid question. And yet, here you were, hands stroking the skin on his neck as he lost himself in your form. Your thighs were softer than he anticipated, and he felt himself let out an exhausted sigh, finally relaxing into you.

"You haven't been home a lot, so I get why you're so stressed." You mused into his hair, "But you should go a bit easy on the staff, I just saw a buff thirty-something year old near tears when we came in." You giggled and Jungkook couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Sungmin is my manager, he can take it." He felt blissful for the first time in a while as he rocked you both back and forth, his thumbs stroking the supple skin of your thighs.

"Still, maybe if people aren't so stressed around you, it might ease your stress." You chided softly, pressing a chaste kiss to his head.

The affection made his eyes flutter closed and he hummed, "We'll see, but don't hold your breath." He joked.

You had never felt Jungkook so calm before. Usually he has something snarky or detached to say. Some kind of non committal or indifferent comment, but he was too exhausted to do even that. You smiled softly at the cozyoment and the affection. It was hard to realize how touch starved you were, dreading when you would have to get up.

Youboth rocked back and forth for an indeterminate amount of time, too wrapped up in the calmness of each other’s presence to say much at all.

Finally, you spoke up a bit, "This is making me feel better. I like the closeness a lot." You hummed softly, "I remember when I was in some club in highschool, we were taking photos with girls on the guys's backs and all the guys scrambled to not have to give me a piggyback ride, so I just stood on my own." You did a short laugh. Jungkook fumed at the idea of stupid people making you feel like anything less than perfect, but you continued, "And now I'm in the lap of a pop star, it's a little funny." Now he felt smug, giving your thigh a small squeeze.

"Sounds like you had some weak ass guys in your highschool club." He snorted, leaning his head up as you settled down onto his lap further, now looking eye to eye with your torsos farther apart, his feet planted firmly on the floor to keep the rocking chair still, "I'll deny I was ever this nice, but," He studies your face for a moment, "You're so beautiful." He sighs out and he watched your face light up, and feels what that does to him, scaring the fuck out of him.

You couldn't find words except, "Can I kiss you?" You breathe and he nods with hooded eyes, and before you knew it, you were surging forward to press his mouth to yours. The kiss was fierce, but he responded to it at the speed of light. His mouth moved in sync with yours before taking control of the kiss, moving closer as he stilled the chair. Your hands were shyly clutching his shoulders, careful not to mess up his hair. One hand traveled to your hip as the other massaged your thigh deeply, thumb inching its way to the inner part. Your tongues intertwine and you gasp needily when he's a mere centimeter from where you want him most. You damn near whine when his hand stops inching closer to your core making him grunt.

Jungkook nearly lost his mind when he feels your nails dig into his shoulder and your hips wiggle in the slightest. He wanted to tell you to just mess up his hair, fuck everything else, and just let him make you cum in his lap. He wants to feel what he’s doing to you, uninhibited. His hand cups your sex and you groan into his mouth. He smirks at how warm it is, how wet you must be from a little bit of kissing, and how wet you will-

KNOCK, KNOCK

You jump, effectively falling off of the chair, and onto the floor just as Hoseok walks in, "Hey Jungkookie, it is time to- Bunny?!" Before Jungkook can even reach out his hand, the older man is helping you up.

"I'm alright, just clumsy." You chuckle awkwardly, before turning to the celebrity, thanking the stars his makeup and hair aren't messed up, "Well, have a good photoshoot!" You beamed, "Let's go get some lunch, Hobi." You spoke rushedly as you took the man's hand, dragging him along.

"Oh, uh, bye!" Hoseok hollers to the dumbfounded Jungkook as he watched the dressing room door close, leaving him winded with a boner.

When you get in the car, your eyes are like saucers and Hoseok can't help his curiousity as he turns on the car. However he doesn’t push until you both are a little closer to home, but before he can even ask you grab his leg and stare at him with panicked eyes, "Fuckfuckfuckfuckwhatthefuckdid- AHHH!" You let out the quietest scream, before looking at him, "How do I go about life this stupid?" You seem to be genuinely asking and yet again, before he can ask, "I kissed Kook and I let him hold my pussy for a moment." You blurt out and Hoseok blinks for a moment. You look to him, waiting for him to freak out but he just shrugs.

"Well color me a bit envious." He muses, before tilting his head in confusion, “When you say he held you pussy-"

“He cupped it and I was gonna let him go further had you not walked in.” You looked to the man as he saw home in sight.

“Ah, I see.” He nods thoughtfully, “So were we wanting to pick something up for lunch or just order delivery, we could cook…?”  

You gaped at him, "Are you not gonna tell me how dumb that was?!" Hoseok shakes his head, "He probably hates me now!" You whined.

Hoseok sighs, "I promise, he doesn't." He reassured you, "Did he… kiss back?" He asks curiously.

"Yes, but I'm not sure what he meant by it." You murmured, "I’m really bad at gathering those kinds of clues. I kissed him because he called me beautiful and I didn't know how to respond and I-"

"You're beautiful." Hoseok interjects, "My turn, my turn!" He parks the car at the house, turning to you with a grin.

"Wait, that's it!" You point to him, "You can tell me what kind of kiss that was." You beamed and he looked at you quizzically, "So kiss me and I'll show you how Kook kissed back so I can understand!" 

Hoseok could not believe his ears. Had people played with your head before? Did you seriously not understand that kissing back meant that they were attracted to you, at the very least. Not wanting to take advantage of you he asked, "Are you sure? You can just describe it to me-"

You nodded, "I don’t want to misrepresent it with my words but I need to know what it meant, but if you feel weird about kissing me I get it-"

Hoseok was watching the chance slip away, so he pressed forward, placing his mouth on yours and groaned when you responded with a force, hand going to his thigh to try and mimic Jungkook's movement. Your tongue finds his way into your mouth and he can’t resist the opportunity to feel your tongue against his. His hand goes to the back of your neck to press his mouth into yours deeper. It was in no time you both forgot what you should be doing.

All you could focus on was how good the affection felt. How nice it was to have someone’s mouth on yours just as needily. You were used to sex and affection being out of convience. You were used to people seeing you willing and figuring, “Why not?” But Hoseok and Jungkook had kissed you with a certain force you had never known. Where Yoongi and JIn were soft, sweet,and comforting, they were urgent, needy, but rough.

Hoseok’s arms wrap around you, bring you into his lap and you feel his growing length beneath you. Against better judgement, you grind down, causing the both of you to gasp, “Fuck, baby.” He groans, gripping you to him harder. His leans down to kiss your jaw and reach your neck, making you press yourself further onto him with a choked moan when you feel him guide you hips as you set a steady pace grinding into him. You groan at the sensuality of hearing his voice riddled with lust and making the windows steamy and the expensive car rock.

“Hobi,” You moan out as he sucks a particular spot on your neck, “Feels good.” You whined, grinding yourself more desperately.

“It does, bunny?” He cooed into your neck, trying to shield his own rising arousal as you  grind onto it desperately. You nodded with a moan and found yourself wishing he would just strip you of your clothes and take you. You would love nothing more than to feel his hands around your neck as he pounded into you, your hips working as wildly as they were then with his hands on them, threatening to limit you, edging you closer, and closer, and-

HONK

You both jumped, not able to go far in the driver’s seat on top of Hoseok after accidentally honking his car horn. You take a moment to look at the position your in and clasp your hand over your mouth, "I did it again!" You whined, muffled by your palm, "What's wrong with me, I get I'm horny but AH!" You groaned from frustration, both sexually and emotionally. 

"Calm down, it's better than okay." The man beneath you strokes your hip soothingly, "I enjoyed it, and if Kook did any of that, he did too." He reassures you, "It's just some consensual kissing, we're all adults, it's okay."

You frown, "But you guys don't need me throwing myself onto you, that's not fair to you." It’s made people recoil from you, you want to say. You don’t want them to recoil from you, you couldn’t take it.

"Arguably, I do need you, in particular, throwing yourself onto me." Hoseok quipped and you rolled your eyes.

"Ha, Ha, very funny, but come on." You deadpan and it only makes him more confused. You don't know how to explain that the odds of a guy like him, or any of them, wanting you, specifically, and not just wanting affection are slim to none in your eyes, judging from past experience alone.

"What?" He asks and you shake your head.

"Ah, forget it." You shrug, "Nothing to fuss about, but sorry I nearly came in your lap-"

"Please do not apologize for something I wanted, almost happening." He groaned and you chuckled, shaking your head, genuinely not believing him, “In fact, I invite you to please hop back on.” He chuckled a bit, so you figured it was a joke. Surely he would be joking about wanting you sexually. 

"You're a funny guy, Hobi." You open the door and hop out, "Well I'm gonna go masturbate or something, and then maybe we can regroup for some lunch when I'm done?" You glance up at the flabbergasted man who nods numbly, too perplexed to even offer his services, "Okay, well thank you for the kiss and what not, the affection is always welcome!" You chirped, "I can give you kisses on the lips more often if you want like I do with Jin and Yoongi?" He nods again and you smile. You give him a chaste kiss on the lips before heading inside.

Hoseok blew out a breath as he sat in his car with a hard on. So the issue wasn't you not being attracted to them. The issue was you not believing they would be attracted to you. Somehow, that was harder for him to dissect, unsure how to prove that he would give you the world if you just mentioned an interest in having it. Not just him, but six other men. To you, kissing or sexual acts wasn't proof that he was attracted to you for being you instead of just another body. They all had to somehow prove you weren't being kissed because of convenience, but desire. All of them were too emotionally stunted up until now to already know how. Yoongi was right, this would be a lot of work. Work they all were willing to do.

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