#aka me projecting buddie in every series i find

[buddieswhvre]

I've been thinking about Madney's wedding and I just can't stop imagining Buck and Eddie as Mónica and Chandler from friends. Just hear me out, I know the Buckley parents are trying their best but what if they still let out remarks like 'this will be the only wedding we're attending' or 'we're so happy to see Maddie get happily married, this might be the one for a LONG time'

And Buck knows that he shouldn't pay attention to their parents remarks but he also agrees with what they are saying. It has been weeks since Natalia and he broke up and he's almost as lost as he was after the lightning strike. He still tries his best to not let his parent's remarks get to him and fully enjoy his sister's wedding. He's not sure how much he succeeded though. Now imagine,

Eddie: So you're not upset about what your parents said, right?

Buck: Wouldn't you be? I mean they weren't exactly wrong.

Eddie: Hey, I know it's a very emotional time for you and you've had a lot of drinks but you need to let that go. I mean you were the most beautiful man in the room tonight.

Buck: Really?

Eddie: Are you kidding? You're the most beautiful man in most rooms-

And then they kiss now also imagine the morning after where Chimney is excited and running in Eddie's room about how he's going to get married today and once he leaves, Buck's like 'Do you think he saw I was here?'

Now ofc there will be angst on how are oblivious idiots would be sure that this is just fwb for them yk a friend helping another friend and it takes a lot of miscommunication and finally communication to know that they really do love each other.

(I know I should stop with my ideas considering exams and my wips but I can't help it lol)

Maybe I can write this one for didn't know they were dating prompt of buddie week where Buck is clear this was a one time thing and Eddie is sure that ofc Buck knows that I like him so much.

[magentagalaxies]

Uh-oh Ze's Writing A Kids in the Hall Essay for Fun Again

aka i wanted to infodump but i didn't know who to send the infodump to specifically so i'm making it a post

basically i was thinking about the iconic man-in-a-towel "character" that's become ubiquitous in kids in the hall projects and how that's an example of how queer culture is such an integral part of kids in the hall even in basic ways people might miss. not just bc paul bellini has been openly gay for just as long as scott has, but also because the towel thing itself is literally a reference to queer culture

(side note when i was watching kids in the hall for the very first time i had no idea bellini was gay, and now after diving into mouth congress and every other piece of kids in the hall related media i could get my hands on, plus becoming close friends with bellini himself, i'm just sitting here like "how was there ever a time when i didn't know he was gay???")

like, here's the explanation of the source of the "man in a towel" aspect of the bellini contest from Paul Myers' Kids in the Hall biography "One Dumb Guy":

i just find it so fascinating that the towel thing specifically came from the idea of this "character" being in a bathhouse, and how watching the series in 2023 without that context may lead to that aspect being lost on viewers entirely because that's not something that's as in the public consciousness when it comes to queer culture anymore. you see a guy walking around in a towel in a piece of media in 2023 and your first thought is of a gym locker room or something like that. and this lack of context doesn't take away from the joke at all, the surreal humor of this random guy wearing a towel being the prize for the kids in the hall viewer contest and appearing in the background of numerous sketches works regardless of why he's in the towel in the first place, but as someone who loves kids in the hall in large part because of its attitude towards queerness refusing to play along with respectability politics, the way gay sex is a part of this seemingly-unrelated gag is incredible. like, it's almost framed as though the world is his bathhouse, and he's just wandering around waiting for something to happen. like a more zen version of the "running faggot" character. and even in the above section, when he's like "i knew it would make me famous, and maybe that would help me get laid." that idea is so normalized when it comes to straight guys wanting to get laid, but it still feels so revolutionary to be like "yeah, this can be a part of it as well."

but beyond that, the way bathhouses in particular come up in kids in the hall related works is always going to be fascinating to me, because i feel like they're a part of queer culture and queer history that is so often either forgotten or treated as shameful. like, prior to getting into kids in the hall, the only times i ever heard about bathhouses were when people talked about the AIDS epidemic, and even when people were trying to sound queer-positive there was always this implication that bathhouses were just a place where disease was spread and they all ceased to exist after the 1980s. kids in the hall on the other hand? any time bathhouses are brought up, it's treated in a similar way to just going to a bar. some people like to get drunk, some people like to get high, some people like to have casual sex with men. there's comedy to be found in any of these environments but there's nothing inherently morally wrong with any of them

in most other western media, bathhouses are forced to carry this stigma, but in the works of kids in the hall (especially scott thompson) the carefree attitude towards sex is almost enviable. a STEPS sketch where the trio are in conflict ends with the group setting aside their differences to head to the bathhouse. the scenes in buddy babylon (the fictional autobiography of buddy cole, written by scott thompson and paul bellini) depicting a bathhouse encounter are surprisingly un-sensationalized. it's just a casual fun night out and a way to meet new people, and even the sex scenes in that book aren't typically framed as spectacle. (this goes along with buddy babylon's unique tone as the most down-to-earth buddy cole media, but that's a whole other essay). even scott thompson's standup set "the human urinal," which revolves around a particularly embarrassing bathhouse encounter, thrives on its observational humor and self deprecation. most strikingly, the human urinal story is a recent example, and in this set scott even acknowledges the reputation bathhouses have as this shameful relic of the past. i actually highly recommend the human urinal standup set, though it's absolutely a "dead dove do not eat" for exactly what it says in the title.

and, of course, on this topic i was thinking about the way gay sex is portrayed in kids in the hall season six (aka the revival season for amazon prime). in it, we have two main sketches that center this particular theme. the first is sole buddy cole sketch of the season, "the last gloryhole" (featuring paul bellini as the voice of the gloryhole, fun fact). this sketch highlights the exact theme this essay has been getting at, directly calling out the way respectability politics has erased the more "nsfw" history of the queer community through the surrealist premise of buddy cole getting the last remaining gloryhole in the city declared a national landmark by the late queen elizabeth. the only other sketch to center around gay sex happens as a 70s flashback, and even that one is actually moreso focused on the idea of the partners in this gay relationship getting jealous of each other for sleeping with a woman (honestly i don't have much deep analysis for this one because tbh i didn't like the sketch that much).

the most striking thing about these two examples is the weird paradox kids in the hall season six finds itself in when it comes to censorship, or lack thereof. now, censorship and kids in the hall season six is a loaded topic that could spawn its own essay, but this isn't about direct censorship (i.e. someone explicitly saying "you can't show that"), but instead about cultural ideas of censorship, what is and isn't normal to show on television. ask any kids in the hall fan who's seen all six seasons and the most jarring difference between the revival and the original show is the amount of nudity. amazon let them show dicks, so they're gonna show dicks, and also dave foley has fake tits in the latter of the sketches mentioned above (though they were technically also able to show dave with tits in the original show too). however, even though visually seeing nudity gives the implication that this is a fully uncensored production, there's still this hesitancy towards some of the gay topics that were freely explored in the original series that's definitely a product of respectability politics. gay male sexual desire is de-centralized in a way it never has been. the reason the above sketches feel out of place is not because they're not typical of the kids in the hall, but because the rest of the show is not matching the tone in the same way.

anyway, thank you for listening to this infodump. gay male sexual desire has always been integral to the kids in the hall and the fact that the show's queer creators refused to conform to respectability politics allowed them to treat this topic with far more respect than anyone has since.

[respectthepetty]

Hiya! What BL series would you recommend the most? So far, I've loved watching KinnPorsche (it's THE best!!), I Told Sunset about You, Cutie Pie & Bad Buddy. I also got into To My Star because of you, so cheers for that!

Anyway, I would love to watch more shows but I find it a bit hard to navigate because there's so many (and no offense, but some of which I initially started watching ended up being quite lame imo), so I would love to hear about your favs! Thanks in advance if you decide to reply. Have a lovely day/night wherever you are x

I have had this question several times over the past few months, but yours has been, by far, the kindest ask, so I'll answer now:

You don't want my trash recommendations.

So many others on here do it better, like @absolutebl! They have entire spreadsheets to break down preferences while I have five rules:

Don't bury the gay (MANDATORY!)

Be gay. Do crime! aka "Eff the police" (literally and figuratively)

I'm a messy bi, and I'll cry if I want to

Adulting is hard like my sexual attraction for you

Vice Vers(a) - Flipping the norms and changing dynamics

If a show gives me two out of four (since I will never allow a show to Killing Eve me again!), I'm going to fight random people AND their unborn kiddos in the street for it. Case & point:

HIStory 4: Close to You (2021, 10 episodes, Taiwan - 9/10) - I loved all of. Not some parts. Not only one of the couples. No! ALL. OF. IT! Every couple. Every situation. Including the stepbrothers relationship and the whole ridiculous top/bottom conversations. LOVED IT! It had the messy factor that others only aspire to achieve.

Taiwan has a tight hold on passionate men in sweatpants and a basic shirt down, and for that, I'm grateful!

Now that you know this is my floor, hopefully you understand that like my fave, Marie Kondo...

I was raised on telenovelas and soap operas, so if an evil twin kidnaps the protagonist then sleeps with him and has a child who is given up to an orphanage only to grow up and fall in love with his rich (unknown to him) brother and uses witchcraft to give the rival love interest amnesia, I'd be happily sitting every week to witness it with no qualms. Who am I to judge?! Makes sense to me!

Which means I don't LOVE some dramas even though they are great because my basic rules don't apply, the messiness is missing, or they will be too tough to rewatch:

Bad Buddy (7/10) because I wanted one of them to snap, crackle, and pop off at their parents for passing on generational trauma. Also, being in love with Bad Bunny yet trying to say this title was too difficult for my brain.

I Told Sunset About You (8/10) is rude and feels like a personal attack. You've seen it, so you know what I'm writing about. We don't speak about the sequel.

Semantic Error (9/10) hurt because anyone who has been in a group project knows the pain that the lead felt, yet it tried to convince us that he was in the wrong. Team No Group Assignment!

Cherry Magic's (8/10) second couple made me irrationally upset. Cats can bring people together, but these two? Really?! Cats are better than this street dancing moment!

Gameboys' (7/10) whole plot of the dad going out to look for the son and catching COVID was...yeah, no. And if the lead said "baby" ONE MORE TIME, I was going to make like a balloon in a toddler's hand and POP!

We Best Love 1 & 2 (8/10) gave us a five year time jump between the first and second part, and if it weren't for that *excellent* drunk moment, I would have stopped watching it and stored part two in the horrible-sequels-we-don't-speak-about pile.

But a man plotting from the age of ten to manipulate his whole family into accepting him sleeping with his stepbrother (HIStory 4 - 9/10), I fully support.

Therefore, you don't want what I'm peddling. Unless you do...

Trying to spotlight more recent ones because they will be easier to find

Be gay. Do crime: Too focused on one a**hole to notice the many plot holes.

Manner of Death (2020, 14 episodes, Thailand - 7.5/10) - A story of two men trying to have sex while EVERYONE around them is being killed. Oh, and then there is a cactus and a baby murderer horribly fighting his feeling for the smartest/dumbest guy in the town.

KinnPorsche (2022, 14 episodes, Thailand - 8/10) - A story about a family that is determined to dickmatize the first person who is kind to them, which you already watched, so you know they succeed.

Eff the Police: Tend to have issues finishing, but always a fun ride *pun intended*.

Not Me (2022, 14 episodes, Thailand - 7.5/10) - Literally, eff the police...but also, figuratively.

HIStory 3: Trapped (2019, 10 episodes, Taiwan - 8/10) - If we can't avoid the cops, sleep with them, so at least we can have a good character witness.

Messy Bi: There will be tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Love Mechanics (2020 and remake in 2022, 4 episodes/10 episodes, Thailand - 7/10, remake 8/10) - Polyamory is the answer, but the characters refuse to share.

Hello, Stranger (2020, 8 episodes, Philippines - 7.5/10) - A jock decides flirting with a guy is easier than actually doing his portion of the group project. The movie sequel is not on this level.

Adulting is Hard: The angst is strong, but the chemistry is stronger.

To My Star (2021, 9 episodes, South Korea - 9.5/10) - When being a big star is too difficult, stop showing up for work, crash at someone else's house, and pop his pimples. To My Star 2 is not on this level but still brought the chemistry, so if you didn't watch, do it.

He's Coming To Me (2019, 8 episodes, Thailand - 8/10) - Life is hard, but the afterlife is harder, so pester a kid for a decade until he decides to solve murders. The way the main's sexuality is handled is perfect.

Vice Vers(a): The confessions are ALWAYS a 10!

Old Fashion Cupcake (2022, 5 episodes, Japan - 9.5/10) - When in love with a boss, walk a delicate line of being the best employee while letting him know exactly the eight ways you can blow hi...his mind...with your mo...monumental organization ski.. Oh eff it him!

My Beautiful Man (2021, 6 episodes, Japan - 9/10) - Just an ordinary man who wants to be loved and the guy who wants to worship him in every way possible.

DNA Says Love You (2022, 12 episodes, Taiwan - 8/10) - The audience knows the whole time what is happening, but has no idea what is actually happening. Is it a ghost story? Is it about a soul reincarnating? Is this about amnesia? Nope. Well, actually...yeah, still no.

I have a lot more, but this is already too long.

All in all, embrace what you like. If you like a certain aspect of show, latch on to it and explore others that showcase that particular plot device. Also, don't be ashamed of what you like. Even if others think it's lame, if you like it, then I love it. Believe me, if China had finished Addicted, there be a lot more people living in glass houses keeping quiet instead of judging us because some guys in the mafia actually do bad things.

[blondehairstripe]

So I think that as of S3, Varian is crushing hard on Rapunzel. And in this case, it goes deeper than mere infatuation, given the nature of their relationship and everything that’s transpired between them within the series.

Read on for in-series analysis with screencaps and some bonus post-series fanon speculation!

IN-SERIES ANALYSIS

Before he went villain, I’d say that Varian’s feelings toward Rapunzel were more hero-worship, so he likely thought she was pretty, but undoubtedly out of his league and already taken to boot. No signs of crushing yet—he instead becomes infatuated with the only unattached person who came to visit him: Cassandra.

In my humble opinion, Varian didn’t have a romantic attraction to Rapunzel until it hit him like a bolt of lightning when she told him “It’s your mess, but it’s my kingdom” in Rapunzel’s Return.

Though he was oddly flirty with her while she was in that dungeon cell...

There is also the distinct possibility that the cell was where the first stirrings of a crush began to form during their reconnection. The basis for this theory comes from the absolutely adoring look he gave her when she said “we need him” and how he looked pretty well smitten as she pulled him along.

By the end of the episode Rapunzel frees Quirin, and hoo boy, is that the final nail in Varian’s coffin of feelings. She’d forgiven him his atrocities, kept her word, freed his father—honestly, it’d be weirder if he didn’t fall for her if you ask me.

Then Be Very Afraid rolls along, and we learn that Varian considers Rapunzel “wondrous and magical,” something Rapunzel notes rather slyly and Pascal seems to think is sweet. The look on Varian’s face when she takes his hand and pulls him along again says it all. Boi is smitten.

Additionally...just look at this dork when Rapunzel catches him being a nerd about metals and drinking hot cocoa in Cassandra’s Revenge. This is the reaction of a teenager who just got caught doing something embarrassing by his crush. He zeroes in on Rapunzel specifically and doesn’t seem to care that any of the others caught him.

But through all of these new feelings for Rapunzel, Varian loves Eugene too (90% platonically in this case), so my take is that he’s resolved to not interfere in their relationship. And after everything that’s happened, he likely feels that Eugene is a better match for her and that they truly deserve each other. Though after his stint as a villain where Varian completely lost his respect for the ruling class, the whole “she’s a princess I’m a peasant” thing would likely not be a factor for him anymore. Also, he’s clearly never given a crap about age gaps, and the 4 year gap between him and Rapunzel is even smaller than his canonical S1 crush on Cassandra with an 8 year gap.

Now that we’ve covered the analysis of canonical events, we can delve into pure fanon speculation territory.

POST SERIES SPECULATION

While Varian has indeed resolved to not do a single stupid thing to mess up Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship, he can’t keep himself from wanting to be close to Rapunzel and craving her affection. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) Rapunzel is a very affectionate person, so she’ll hug Varian, hold his hand, even cuddle him because he’s her precious friend. Also, she’s a pro at giving him the verbal validation that seems to fuel him (aka his love language: words of affirmation).

This results in Varian coming up with excuses and ways to stay close to Rapunzel, and at times when he ends up being sandwich-snuggled between Eugene and Rapunzel (because let’s face it, we’ve seen that Eugene is huggy) he sometimes catches himself trying to pretend Eugene isn’t there, which he instantly feels super guilty about.

Side note: Ruddiger is completely aware of how he feels because Varian is an open book when he’s alone with his little raccoon buddy, and the devious little critter sometimes manipulates situations to try to get Varian alone with Rapunzel or to set them up for what he believes is a romantic encounter (what do you mean being trapped inside a dumpster together isn’t romantic? Intimate dark setting, and all the garbage you can eat!). These setups only work about half the time, and so while Varian appreciates the sentiment, he’d prefer Ruddiger to stay out of it because the failures tend to end with Varian being horribly embarrassed.

And if Rapunzel ever gives him what she views as chaste kisses on the cheek or forehead, Varian’s over the freaking moon and always blushes so hard he almost passes out. Rapunzel finds it cute while Eugene thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and teases Varian he’s gonna have to get over that habit if he ever wants a girlfriend/boyfriend of his own. Whether he’s aware of Varian’s crush or not is up for debate, but he for sure has no idea how deep it runs and thus considers it harmless if he’s aware of it.

Varian probably also frequently gives Rapunzel gifts in order to get her attention and favor in the form of inventions/discoveries he thinks she’ll like. He might even bake her things since we’ve seen he has a knack for it. His favorite thing is if he can get Rapunzel to come work on a project with him, giving him the one-on-one time he craves while doing something he loves.

Also, I think that if anyone were to insult Rapunzel in Varian’s presence, they might find their shoes sticky bombed to the floor. Looking at you, Uncle Monty. Varian might become the second person in Corona to not like him.

Of course, he’s not so obsessed with Rapunzel that he has no life outside of her, since he very much enjoys one-on-one time with both his dad and Eugene (Lance is kind of a 50/50 shot for him, and the girls are like little sisters to him). And of course he spends most of his time in his lab doing alchemy. But he lights up every time Rapunzel enters the room and gravitates towards her, and would do pretty much anything for her.

And for a while, Varian convinces himself that this is fine, and that he doesn’t need Rapunzel to love him back the same way he loves her. Though he feels small flares of jealousy whenever she and Eugene kiss or indulge in other romantic gestures that Varian would never hope or dare to try, but he stomps the jealousy down for the greater good of everyone involved.

The wedding would be super bittersweet for him, since he’d be so happy that his friends have found happiness together, even while knowing that Rapunzel is unquestionably out of his reach now. But that doesn't stop him from continuing to love her. His dad says he’ll get over her one day (his only human confidant, the dude is legendary at keeping secrets), but Varian isn’t so sure.

And from this point, the fanon possibilities are pretty much endless, some of them running the gambit from Varian continuing to respectfully pine for Rapunzel in secret, to him getting over her and finding his own happiness with someone else, to him gradually descending into madness and going just a touch yandere. Depends on what flavor of Varian you’re in the mood for: pining Varian, happy Varian, or villainous Varian. And of course, you can get real fancy and combine different Varian flavors to make something unique!

@varipunzel​

[pinktwingirl]

Loki Series Rewrite (AKA Loki Series But With Squirrel Girl) Ep 3

INT. TVA - DAY

Loki is attacking Sylvie. Suddenly, Doreen enters and rushes up to them.

DOREEN

Loki, catch!

She tosses him a prune stick. Loki takes it and he starts fighting Sylvie with her. During the battle, Doreen manages to overpower Sylvie and tackle her to the ground. Doreen holds her knuckle spikes to Sylvie's throat, but Sylvie twists her arm and kicks Loki's prune stick away. Sylvie then kicks Doreen's face and grabs Loki. Doreen freezes when she sees Sylvie is holding a dagger to Loki's throat. Just then, Ravonna and several other agents enter.

SYLVIE

Come any closer, and I'll kill him.

RAVONNA

Go for it.

Doreen glares at her. Before she can attack, Loki whips out his tem-pad, causing himself and Sylvie to disappear.

We cut to later, when Mobius, Ravonna, and Doreen are standing where Loki and Sylvie vanished.

DOREEN

(to Ravonna)

Thanks for nothing.

RAVONNA

I called her bluff. I knew she wasn't going to do it.

DOREEN

Yeah. Sure.

MOBIUS

Where the hell did they go?

DOREEN

You don't know?

MOBIUS

Loki took the tem-pad with him. We can't find his location if we don't have it.

(He groans in frustration.)

That bastard! He directly disobeyed me! I knew I shouldn't have trusted him!

DOREEN

He probably just wanted to know what was going on! Look, I can find him with-

(She takes out her Loki locket, only to see that it is broken.)

Shit...

MOBIUS

What?

DOREEN

This thing must've gotten damaged in the fight.

MOBIUS

Can't you just fix it?

DOREEN

It's not that simple. Thor let me borrow parts of rare Asgardian technology to build this. They were some of the last parts they had, so I would have to go back in time to Asgard to get more. And... I have no idea where I would even begin to start looking there.

Mobius sighs.

MOBIUS

Alright, look, I'll search through our files on Asgard to see what I can find. In the meantime, just try to salvage what you can, and don't dilly-dally. Every moment those variants are on the loose, we're all in danger.

INT. TVA OFFICE - DAY

Doreen is trying to work on the locket to no avail. She slams it down and sighs. Just then, her squirrel Monkey Joe hops up on the table, carrying spare parts. He sets them down and squeaks at her.

DOREEN

No... Those won't work, Monkey Joe. We need gear that can navigate through both space and time.

Looking dejected, Monkey Joe lets out a few sad squeaks. Doreen pets him and gives him an almond as consolation.

DOREEN

I know, buddy, you tried your best...

Doreen's other squirrels, Tippy-Toe and Mr. Lieberman join Monkey Joe to eat pieces of the almond. Just then, CASEY turns around and peers at the squirrels in horror.

CASEY

What are those?

(Beat)

DOREEN

Um, almonds? Want some?

CASEY

No, the... things eating them...

Doreen raises an eyebrow.

DOREEN

They're squirrels.

CASEY

"Squirrels?"

DOREEN

What, you've never seen a squirrel before?

CASEY

No... I've spent my whole life here, so I've never seen any animals at all.

Doreen looks mortified.

DOREEN

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life...

INT. TVA LIBRARY - DAY

Mobius is looking through various old books on shelves. He pauses when he flips through a book that has Asgardian writing and a map of Asgard.

INT. TVA OFFICE - DAY

Doreen is showing Casey pictures of different types of squirrels on her phone as Casey looks on in wonder.

DOREEN

So, this here is a red squirrel. I just love their little pointy ears! Ooh, and these ones are extra rare: The Japanese flying squirrel! Look at their beady little eyes! And their fluffy tail! You can only find these in one island on all of Earth!

CASEY

Wow... That's amazing!

Just then, Mobius walks in.

MOBIUS

Doreen!

Doreen quickly slams her phone down.

DOREEN

Uhhh, yes, sir, we are hard at work!

She does an awkward salute. Mobius frowns at her.

MOBIUS

I found this book in our library.

(He flips to a page that has a drawing of Odin's treasure room with a description written in Asgardian.)

This look familiar?

Doreen frowns as she peers at the book.

DOREEN

This is all in Asgardian. I can't read it.

MOBIUS

Forget the text; look at the picture.

He points to a section of the drawing where several golden parts are stored in the treasure room. Doreen's eyes widen.

DOREEN

Oh my God... I think that's it!

Mobius grins.

MOBIUS

Yeah? You think you could go get it if I sent you to Asgard, say, a couple decades in the past?

DOREEN

Sure, I mean... All I would have to do is find Odin's treasure room... wherever that is, somehow break in, get the parts, and then, by some miracle, get out undetected, and then we're home free!

MOBIUS

Easy!

DOREEN

Easy!

(She pats him on the back.)

Good job, Moby! I might need a change of clothes, though.

MOBIUS

What's wrong with your clothes?

DOREEN

I mean, I can't just walk into Asgard like this; I'd stick out like a sore thumb!

Mobius sighs.

MOBIUS

Alright, I'll see if we have any old stuff from the Asgardian variants we've taken in. But study that book and maybe try to come up with a halfway coherent plan for sneaking in. I'll set the portal to send you back to the same moment in time once you're done, so you can take however long you need to look for the parts. But don't use that as an excuse to sight-see!

He chuckles under his breath as he walks away.

MOBIUS

"Moby"...

INT. LAMENTIS-1 TRAIN - NIGHT

Loki and Sylvie are chatting on the train.

SYLVIE

How about you? You're a prince! Must've been... would-be princesses. Or, perhaps, another prince?

LOKI

A bit of both. I suspect, the same as you. But nothing ever...

SYLVIE

Real.

LOKI

Hmm.

(Beat)

SYLVIE

What about your mortal girl? What was her name? Doreen?

Loki raises an eyebrow.

SYLVIE

She seems nice.

LOKI

Oh, I'm sure she'd appreciate that, coming from the person who practically kicked her face in.

SYLVIE

Hey, when she's on the run, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

LOKI

And, no, she's... just an acquaintance. 

Sylvie raises an eyebrow and smirks.

INT. ASGARD PALACE, 1960 - NIGHT

Doreen enters the palace through a portal in a pretty, albeit slightly ill-fitting blue Asgardian dress, with her hair done up like all the other noble ladies. As she wanders around, she spots a crowd of noble ladies in ballgowns chatting and laughing while they walk. She tries to inconspicuously join the group, when a MAID calls out to her.

MAID

Um, pardon me, my lady?

Doreen freezes to see if the maid is talking to her.

MAID

Do you not have something to wear for tonight?

DOREEN

I... Um... Well, I was just going to wear this... very Asgardian dress...

MAID

Do you... have anything a little more formal? I trust you haven't forgotten that the ball is tonight?

DOREEN

Uh... Right... Yes... Of course... Um...

MAID

We have some spare dresses if you'd like to borrow one. I'm sure the queen wouldn't mind.

Doreen hesitates for a moment.

DOREEN

A-alright... Thank you.

She follows the maid into a corridor.

INT. CHANGING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Doreen sits in front of a mirror while the maid styles her hair. She has a layer of light, pretty makeup on her face.

MAID

Have you decided which dress you'd like, my lady?

DOREEN

Oh... I liked the green one.

The maid raises an eyebrow.

MAID

Are we... hoping for something?

DOREEN

Wh-what do you mean?

MAID

Well, if you're wearing the colors of Prince Loki, some might think you were... trying to get his attention.

(Beat)

DOREEN

W-will he be there?

MAID

He should. I must warn you that he detests these types of social events, though. At last winter's ball, he projected an illusion of himself in the ballroom to make it seem like he was present when he was really in his room reading books the whole night.

Doreen grins.

MAID

Shall I help you put on your dress?

DOREEN

(Lost in thought)

Yeah...

(Her head shoots up as she comes back to her senses.)

U-uh, I mean, no! No, no, no! I... I can do it myself...

INT. ASGARDIAN BALLROOM, 1960 - NIGHT

Loki is standing off to the side while Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three talk and drink. They are all dressed in their outfits from 2011 Thor. Thor downs a mug of ale.

THOR

Another!

He smashes his drink on the ground and Loki rolls his eyes. Thor approaches him and claps him on the back - a little too hard. Loki grunts and gives him an irritated look.

THOR

Come on, brother... You could at least try to have a little fun!

Loki scoffs.

LOKI

Watching every maiden in the palace fawn over you and Fandral is not my idea of fun.

Thor laughs.

THOR

Loki... Must you be so down? You can't spend all your time shut up in your room reading all those books and doing your little magic spells.

LOKI

Why not? I'd infinitely prefer it to this.

Before Thor can say another word, Loki walks off. A SERVANT approaches him, carrying a tray with a goblet of wine on it.

SERVANT

Some wine, your highness?

Loki eagerly takes the goblet and drinks it, nearly downing the entire thing in one swig. He freezes when he sees something in the distance.

We pan up the staircase as we see Doreen descending down it, wearing an elegant green and gold dress. Her hair is done up in an intricate braid, with golden ornaments adorning it. She looks around the ballroom nervously, peering at different corridors in an attempt to find the treasure room. Never taking his eyes off her, Loki sets the goblet down on a table nearby and walks off-screen.

As Doreen makes her way across the ballroom, Tippy-Toe suddenly scurries off to a table where grapes and nuts are laid out.

DOREEN

Tippy!

(She rushes after her.)

We're supposed to be keeping a low profile!

Tippy-Toe gives her a pleading look and a few squeaks. Doreen sighs.

DOREEN

Alright, fine. But just one.

She hands Tippy-Toe a macadamia nut. As the squirrel eats her treat, we suddenly hear Loki's voice behind them. Startled, Doreen whirls around.

LOKI

As much as I'm sure your friend is pleasant company, the kitchen staff might not take kindly to seeing a rodent on the refreshment table.

Tippy-Toe cocks her head and gives him an inquisitive squeak. Loki smiles at her.

LOKI

No offense.

DOREEN

Ah... Y-You're right, um... Tippy, why don't you go eat that outside? I'll catch up with you later.

Tippy-Toe squeaks and runs off with her nut. Nervously wringing her hands, Doreen glances back at Loki, who smiles at her.

DOREEN

So, um... Are you... actually here this time, or is this just another one of your creepy illusions?

Loki smiles and extends his hand to her.

LOKI

Perhaps you should find out for yourself.

After hesitating for a moment, Doreen gingerly places her hand in his. Loki kisses the back of her hand, causing her to blush.

LOKI

I'm terribly sorry; I don't believe I caught your name?

DOREEN

U-um... Doreen.

LOKI

Well, Lady Doreen... Would you care for a dance?

DOREEN

Huh? O-oh, I, um... I-I don't... really know how...

LOKI

It's easy! I'll teach you! Here...

(He leads her into the center of the ballroom, where other couples are dancing.)

Just step forward like this... Then back... Right... Left...

Doreen glances nervously around the room as he leads her into a waltz.

LOKI

You don't have to watch what everyone else is doing; just follow my lead...

(Beat)

You're, um... You're stepping on my foot.

DOREEN

Oh, sorry!

They continue to chat as they dance.

LOKI

You know, I'm surprised a noble lady like yourself never learned to dance.

DOREEN

Oh, well, um... I don't... really like going to parties very much.

LOKI

Ah. I don't either, to be honest.

DOREEN

Then how'd you get to be so good at dancing? Are all the girls lining up to dance with the youngest prince of Asgard?

Loki laughs, embarrassed.

LOKI

Ah.... N-no, not exactly... That's... more Thor's forte. I... mostly learned from dancing with my mother.

Doreen grins.

DOREEN

Aww...

Loki laughs.

(Beat)

LOKI

You're stepping on my foot again.

DOREEN

Ack!

She takes her foot off of his.

LOKI

You know, I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose.

DOREEN

I'm not!

After a pause, she grins devilishly and stomps on his foot, causing him to yelp in surprise.

DOREEN

Okay, maybe that was on purpose.

They both laugh. Doreen glances at his helmet.

DOREEN

That helmet looks... comfortable.

LOKI

Oh, it is.

DOREEN

Yeah, I don't believe you.

LOKI

Well, it only weighs about 30 pounds, give or take. It's like wearing a feather.

They both snicker.

DOREEN

Doesn't it ever throw you off balance?

LOKI

Not once you get used to it. You should try wearing it sometime. I'm sure you'd love it.

Doreen grins, laughing to herself.

DOREEN

Yeah, I'm sure...

LOKI

I, um... I must ask... Did you... wear green tonight deliberately? It is my favorite color, after all.

DOREEN

Oh, really? I never would've been able to tell!

They both laugh.

DOREEN

No, it, um... It's actually my favorite color, too, so...

LOKI

Ah.

DOREEN

Is that, like, something people actually do? I mean... wearing certain colors to get people to notice them?

LOKI

Well, sometimes, yes. I... admit, I... actually tried it once myself.

DOREEN

Oh yeah?

LOKI

A few years ago, there was a prince visiting from Vanaheim that I was... rather taken with. It was known that he loved silver, so I thought if I wore silver armor, I might... endear myself to him.

DOREEN

Did it work?

LOKI

(laughing)

No.

DOREEN

Well... I think you look better in green, anyway.

We cut to Thor standing with ODIN and FRIGGA on the far side of the ballroom, watching Loki and Doreen.

THOR

Mother, who is that Loki is dancing with?

FRIGGA

I'm not sure... I don't believe I've ever seen her around the palace before...

ODIN

Neither have I. I would wager she's merely the daughter of a poor social climber trying to pass himself off as a noble. Nothing to concern yourself with.

Thor grins as Odin walks off-screen.

THOR

Well, Loki seems to be finally enjoying himself...

They watch Loki twirl Doreen around as she giggles, her face flushed red. Frigga laughs.

FRIGGA

That's the first time I've seen him smile all day...

As they continue to dance, Doreen grows more nervous, suddenly unable to meet Loki's gaze, which never leaves her face. At one point, Loki places his hands around her waist and pulls her closer to him, causing her to tremble slightly. After hesitating, she gently places her hands on his shoulders. He smiles as the orchestra finishes playing.

DOREEN

How did I do?

LOKI

You're a fast learner. I'm impressed.

They smile at each other.

EXT. ASGARDIAN COURTYARD - NIGHT

Loki and Doreen chat as they walk through the garden in the palace courtyard, with Doreen drinking a cocktail in an elegant glass.

LOKI

I apologize if I come off as um... well, stiff... I have to admit this sort of thing is... well, it's rather new for me. I was never really very social growing up... Everyone always admired Thor for his physical strength, and, well... My own talents of magic and intellect are far less revered. The only friends I ever had, I met through Thor.

DOREEN

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't have any friends as a kid.

Loki raises an eyebrow.

LOKI

Not any?

Doreen shakes her head.

LOKI

Well, I... certainly wish we'd met sooner, then.

(Beat)

DOREEN

Yeah, me too.

LOKI

It's certainly never easy being an outcast... I've spent my whole life living in Thor's shadow... I know my father wishes I were more like him and his friends, but... All the brawn and muscle... It's just not who I am. I'm not like them.

DOREEN

Yeah, and, I mean, I'm sure being a frost giant and all must make you feel different, too...

Loki frowns.

LOKI

I beg your pardon?

Doreen's eyes widen, and she almost chokes on her drink.

DOREEN

U-Uh... I-I mean, um... Hypothetically speaking, if someone were... secretly a frost giant living in Asgard, that would... make them feel different, but, you know, that... wouldn't happen... ever...

She lets out a nervous laugh and sets her drink down on a nearby table as Loki blinks in confusion.

DOREEN

Anyways... What are you plans for the future if you're not first in line for the throne?

LOKI

I'm... not sure, to be honest. My parents thought I could gain some title of power by marrying me off to some other royal family, but I... don't think that's going to happen.

DOREEN

I guess it's too bad things didn't work out with that Vanaheim prince, then.

LOKI

Well, actually, I'm... rather glad they didn't now.

DOREEN

Why?

(Beat)

LOKI

Because now I've met you.

Doreen freezes and glances at him in surprise. He gives her a gentle smile in return. For a moment, she looks inexplicably happy, but once her senses return to her, her face falls and she backs away from him. Loki frowns.

LOKI

Is... something wrong?

DOREEN

I... I have to go...

LOKI

If... If I've said something wrong, I-

DOREEN

N-no! No, it's not... I... I'm sorry...

Before he can say another word, she runs away.

EXT. ASGARDIAN FOUNTAIN - MOMENTS LATER

Doreen splashes her face with water from a fountain on the other side of the courtyard, trying to pull herself together. Suddenly, Tippy-Toe runs up to her and squeaks at her.

DOREEN

Right... Parts...

INT. ODIN'S TREASURE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Sneaking around corridors, Doreen finally finds the entrance to Odin's treasure room, which is protected by two guards.

DOREEN

(Whispering)

Okay, Tippy, you distract them while I sneak up on them from behind.

Tippy-Toe salutes, runs up to the guards, and starts playing with their armor while squeaking at them.

GUARD #1

What the-?! What is that?!

GUARD #2

It appears to be some type of squirrel...

Guard #1 tries flicking Tippy-Toe off his armor.

GUARD #1

Shoo! Begone, creature!

(He turns to the other guard.)

Do you think it's Ratatoskr?

GUARD #2

No, you fool! Ratatoskr has a horn!

Before they can say another word, Doreen strikes them both from behind. They try to attack her, but she expertly knocks them both out in one punch.

DOREEN

(to Tippy-Toe)

Let's go.

She and Tippy-Toe enter the treasure room, scanning the area for the parts. Doreen frowns in confusion when she sees Odin's fake infinity gauntlet, but is quickly distracted by the golden parts in a chest in the far end of the room.

DOREEN

Got it!

She tries picking up the parts, but as soon as she does, a shield of magic blocks the exit.

DOREEN

Oh, that's not good...

She hears footsteps and guards' voices rushing towards the treasure room. Moving quickly, she jumps up to the ceiling and kicks down the mechanism creating the shield.

DOREEN

Tippy, we gotta run!

Hiding in corridors, they slip past the guards and escape to the outside of the palace. Doreen grabs her tem-pad and opens a portal. Before she returns to the TVA, she catches a glimpse of Loki's silhouette in the distance walking around. For a moment, he seems to be looking for something, but he soon sits down on a bench, defeated, and looks at the other party guests in the distance. Squeezing her eyes shut, Doreen turns away and places a reset charge on the ground. As she and Tippy go through the portal, the reset charge disintegrates the area.

INT. TVA - DAY

Doreen and Tippy-Toe rush through the portal, causing Doreen to nearly run into Mobius, who raises an eyebrow.

DOREEN

I got the parts.

MOBIUS

I... can see that. Are you okay? What's with the getup?

DOREEN

I'm fine - There was a ball going on, so I just had to change to blend in...

(Beat)

I should... get started on fixing the locket.

Before Mobius can stop her, she rushes to another room.

INT. TVA OFFICE - DAY

Still in her ballgown, Doreen is busying inserting the parts into the locket. Mobius enters.

MOBIUS

I, uh... saw the footage of Asgard...

Doreen grits her teeth and says nothing.

MOBIUS

So... you... like Loki, huh? Gotta say, I wasn't expecting that...

DOREEN

I really don't want to talk about this.

MOBIUS

Does he know?

DOREEN

Uh, no, he doesn't, and I'd like to keep it that way.

MOBIUS

Well, I mean... I'd be lying if I said I thought you weren't an odd pair, but I guess I can see it...

Doreen clenches her jaw and ignores him.

MOBIUS

I just don't see why you're all upset over it...

Doreen slams the locket down.

DOREEN

Because! I'm gonna live, what? 80, 90 years max? Maybe a hundred if I'm lucky? That's a fraction of Loki's life! Why would he ever pay any attention to me?! If that Loki from the past knew I was just a human, he wouldn't have taken a second glance at me!

Realizing she is losing her composure, she tries to focus back on fixing the locket. 

After a moment, Mobius sits down next to her.

MOBIUS

You know, I've studied Loki's entire life. I thought I understood everything there was to know about him. But you... you stumped me. If Loki knew he was going to die at the hands of Thanos, why did he trust you to be the one to bring him back to life? And then, it hit me... It's because he knows you're different. He knows that you know what it's like to be an outcast. He could sense it, just from meeting you, that you would be the first stranger he ever met that wouldn't see him as an enemy.

After a pause, Doreen shakes her head.

DOREEN

Even if I could believe that... it wouldn't matter. I'm never going to live long enough to be a part of his life.

(Beat)

MOBIUS

You know, when you've worked at the TVA for as long as I have, you tend to get a bit of a perspective on these types of things. Doreen... It's not about how much time we have... It's what we do with our time while we have it that matters. And you may not believe me, but I know you've made a difference in his life. You never doubted him, even when you had every right to. And that's always going to stick with him, even long after you're gone.

Doreen looks down and says nothing. After a moment, Mobius stands up.

MOBIUS

Well... make of it what you will. I'm gonna go ask the other agents if they've found any leads-

Suddenly, the locket clicks open.

DOREEN

It's fixed!

(She hands it to Mobius.)

Here, let that charge at a good power source for a little bit. Once it's at 100%, you should be able to see where Loki is.

MOBIUS

Okay, great. We'll get a task force ready to go get him.

DOREEN

Can I come?

MOBIUS

Ravonna would rather you stay here. She doesn't want a non-variant being put at an unnecessary risk.

Doreen's face falls, but she nods. Mobius exits. Doreen sits back at a computer and starts to look through files. She comes across a tab that reads "AGENT PROFILES", but when she tries to access it, she gets a message that reads "ERROR: RESTRICTED". Glancing over her shoulder, she checks to make sure no one else is in the room and begins typing.

INT. RAVONNA'S OFFICE - DAY

As Ravonna sits at her desk, she receives a holographic message that reads "WARNING: DATA BREACH DETECTED". She clenches her jaw.

INT. TVA OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Doreen is reading files on her computer. As she continues to read, her eyes widen, with her expression growing more and more horrified. Suddenly, she turns back to the door.

DOREEN

Mobius?!

When there is no response, she tries to exit the room and follow after Mobius, but a gate of lasers suddenly blocks her path. As she glances at it, confused, Ravonna opens a portal into the room and strikes her from behind, knocking her out.

SYLVIE SMIRKS ‘CAUSE SHE KNOWS HE LYIN

So yeah, I took a lot of inspiration for the ballroom scene from the Laendler scene from The Sound of Music. I imagined Loki and Doreen’s relationship being a lot like The Captain and Maria, ‘cause I’m a huge sucker for the hardened grouch going soft for the innocent, lighthearted dreamer trope lol :P

I also listened to the song “When the Night is Over” by Lord Huron a lot when writing that scene. It’s very sad and haunting if you think of it as Loki’s POV after Doreen runs away.

Finally, I am officially dubbing the Doreen x Loki pairing “Dorki”, and I shall henceforth be tagging these posts as such!

@drawntothedarkside

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 100

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 02 - “The Welcome Party at Pan-Paka is the Premonition of a Storm!” Date watched: 01 December 2018 Original air date: 12 February 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/5CtC8VX Project info and master list of posts: https://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

they bond quickly

This is a great follow-up to a great premiere. We get a better look at the villains, the lore, the girls’ lives, and see them become closer as friends. Basically it builds their world out more, and I love it.

First things first, the villains: we’re introduced to Goyan, an impish little dude who serves as the right hand of the boss, and the big bad himself Akudaikan. Having a right hand as a buffer between the boss and generals is a change of pace from the first two seasons but not an unwelcome one. Goyan is a curious little dude, you never know quite what he’s thinking. He seems like he already knows that Karehaan lost to the Precures and mockingly asks him if he returned with the spirits, but it could also be genuine sucking up. Either way Karehaan ignores him, and this will be the dynamic for most of the show. Meanwhile, Akudaikan is a big dark guy cast in shadow, so all you see are his eyes.

Goyan mocks him and Akudaikan berates him so Karehaan goes out once more to try to redeem himself, and we learn that Dark Fall, like most villainous organizations, is run by a bunch of dicks, and that is why they fail.

Over in the Land of Greenery, which is the new name for the Garden of Rainbows, aka Earth (most series have a special name for Earth that ties into the lore) Saki and Mai are doing school things. Saki chats with her friends Hitomi, Yuuko, and Kenta about hosting a welcome party for Mai but Mai is already out the door before she can actually invite her. Saki finds her on the roof of their unusually aesthetic school and they chat about the previous day, while Flappy and Choppy explain how Precure’s mission to protect the seven fountains, of which all but one have been conquered by Dark Fall. It’s exposition wrapped in character development as it’s part of a scene where the protagonists try to learn about each other.

You may recall that while Nagisa and Honoka got along fine in Futari wa, it took a while for them to truly become friends. Splash Star decides screw that, Saki is way too gung-ho to wait, and Mai definitely wants the companionship. They have to work for it a little, as that night Mai talks with her older brother Kazuya about her reservations, and he encourages her to try making friends with Saki if that’s what she wants. Mai has a bit of imposter syndrome, she thinks she doesn’t really belong, that Saki already has a bunch of friends and she’s only being nice because Mai is new. Nonetheless, she puts on her brave face and goes to the welcome party. She’s a bit early, so she sits in the backyard and draws.

FW similarity/difference number 2: While Nagisa was part of a working class family living in a high rise apartment complex, Saki's family lives behind their bakery and are afforded such luxuries as a yard. The town of Yuunagi seems a bit more suburban than the setting of FWPC, which seems to correspond to the region of Japan it’s based on.

Mai gets so caught up in drawing that she’s completely oblivious to Saki and friends setting up for the party right behind her, so when she turns around she’s super shocked to see the supplies.

Side note: Mai is a really good artist.

I am not and I’m wondering how you get lines that thin out of charcoal

It’s very admirable, and we’ll get to see her develop this skill further throughout the show. The two girls speak candidly for a moment, and Saki insists that they ditch the formalities of Japanese speech by asking Mai to simply address her by given name, and asking if she can do likewise. Mai agrees to this and so they truly become Saki and Mai, rather than Hyuuga-san and Mishou-san. (reminder: referring to each other on a personal-name basis with no honorific in Japanese is a sign of closeness reserved for good friends and family)

 Unfortunately the festivities are interrupted by Karehaan, who turns a potted plant into an Uzainaa and demands the girls hand over their spirits. Naturally they refuse, transform, and quickly get their butts kicked. Karehaan offhandedly wonders how they were such a threat to him previously. But after some scolding words from Cure Bloom about how much she values Mai’s friendship and the party and how DARE Karehaan interrupt that, the girls turn the battle around. To borrow some contemporary slang, they fuckin YEET the Uzaina across town.

It lands on a beach and Flappy and Choppy instruct them to give chase. By concentrating the power of spirits in their feet, they are able to leap across town as well.... but they have trouble sticking the landing. Fortunately the power of Precure protects them. Bloom gets caught by the monster and Egret gets a chance to return the earlier sentiment by declaring how Saki is important to her before throwing it. The pair recover, land a double kick, and then finish it off with Twin Stream Splash.

After the dust is settled, they detransform and Saki kind of gripes that they’ll have to keep doing this, but Mai says it’ll be okay as long as they’re together, and they begin their friendship anew with a handshake and a smile. Meanwhile, considering how far they leaped from Saki’s house to the beach, I’m left wondering how they’re going to get back in time for the party without arousing suspicion. I would kind of like the show to explain that, but it doesn’t.

The party goes swimmingly, with Mai loving the cake that Saki and her friends made, and then the rest of the class walks into the yard. Saki offhandedly mentions that she invited the ENTIRE CLASS to the party, which is news to her friends because they didn’t make nearly enough food for this, and Kenta starts chasing Saki around out of frustration (these two have a fun relationship, I’ll get more into that). We end on a freeze-frame of Saki and Mai being buddy-buddy, which is the top image.

Honestly my only criticism of this episode is that they detransformed on the beach instead of leaping back to Saki’s house and that’s such a non-issue. Some of the animation is spotty for wide group shots but they go by quickly. Other than those small things, it’s a perfect episode. It’s well-paced, it develops the characters after showing their insecurities (especially Mai) and you can relate to their friendship struggle. It took a bit longer for Nagisa and Honoka to become friends to this degree but they had less going for them. Saki wants to make friends, Nagisa was more like “let’s see what happens”. Plus Mai being the new girl in town makes her an object of interest before they become Precure, and that also means she has more room to make friends. So they bond quickly.

Saki’s other friends, Hitomi and Yuuko, are similar to Shiho and Rina in some regards, in that they’re also on the sports team with her and sometimes struggle to keep up with her. I remember Yuuko a little more prominently from my first viewing, partly because she’s chubby which stands out in a world of thin characters, and partly because of her crush on Kenta (not touched upon here). Kenta himself is an interesting animal. Since Verone Academy was an all-girls school, we didn’t get much in the way of male friendships in FWPC or Max Heart. There was Fuji-P and Kimata but they didn’t feel as close as the girls’ other friends. Kiriya came closer but he had to return to the darkness. Kenta is just a friend... a friend voiced by Takeuchi Junko, who is most famous now for being the voice of Naruto. It’s pretty much the same voice, just without “-ttebayo!” on the end of every sentence. She will also come back to voice Cure Rouge in the next few seasons. Kenta and Saki have a bit of a more aggressive friendship than with the other girls, but not in a bad way. They butt heads a lot because Kenta is a bit of a loudmouth and they give each other crap, but it’s all in good fun.

As much as I like the emphasis on girls and girls’ stories in Precure, it is nice to see boy-girl friendships that feel natural and aren’t dominated by romantic leanings. I mean yeah, Kenta does have a crush on Saki as will later be revealed, but it’s not the be-all end-all of their friendship. I’m not sure I’m expressing my sentiment well.

Overall like I said up front, it’s a great world building episode and it really makes me look forward to spending more time with these characters (not something I can say for every show). So look forward to more, and hopefully there won’t be a two week wait before the next one.

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 Zekkouchou Nari, in the preview.

Miracle Drop Count: 2

[jehanimation]

The Jehanimation Awards: separating the best of 2016′s animated movies from the rest

Between all the political turmoil, the near-relentless stream of high-profile deaths and the release of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, it has been widely accepted that 2016 was A Bad Year. As a member of the human race, last year probably was a bit of a disappointment in most respects; look at it as an animation enthusiast, though, and the picture starts to look quite a bit rosier.

In fact, I’m going to go a step farther than that and call 2016 one of the best years for feature animation in recent memory - which is saying a lot given how much the bar has been raised since the 1990s. Since the advent of CGI tore up the rulebook and made it easier for newer studios to compete with Disney on an equal footing, it’s felt like we’ve been constantly on the cusp of a new, more diverse landscape for mainstream animation, allowing a wider range of studios and directors to present wildly different visions in a competitive marketplace, rather than a single company monotonously ruling the roost. Obviously, the conservative and formula-driven nature of the business has meant that potential hasn’t always been realised, but in 2016 we got a glimpse of how that theoretical vision would play out in reality - and it was a pretty exciting thing to behold. I can’t think of many previous years in which so many companies - from the US and elsewhere - were able to produce such a broad spread of high-quality movies for different audiences, resulting in a glut of animated movies occupying the top spots in not only the worldwide box office rankings, but also in lists of the best-reviewed films of the year.

Faced with such an embarrassment of riches, it feels difficult and somewhat reductive to pit them against each other and pick out a small handful as being the best - but that’s just what we do around this time of year anyway, so who am I to argue? Still, my intention here is not to add to the somewhat adversarial sentiments that awards season can sometimes generate; this is simply my personal evaluation of all the new animated movies I got to see in 2016, with my favourites highlighted. Your own mileage will, of course, vary, because such variety is the spice of life; with that said, I’m pretty sure this list is 100% objectively correct, so I’ve no idea why you’d disagree.

Immense thanks go to the wonderful Jamie Carr for the header image and icon for this blog! Go follow her on Twitter at @neurodolphin!

THE NOTABLE OMISSIONS

Before I get into evaluating the best of 2016’s crop, I should probably acknowledge that, contrary to assumption, I am not omniscient, and was therefore unable to see every animated movie that came out last year. There are upsides to this, as it means I missed out on having to watch bargain-bin garbage like Norm of the North or Robinson Crusoe (aka The Wild Life), and was able to judiciously pass on higher-profile but poorly-reviewed efforts like Blue Sky’s Ice Age: Collision Course and Rainmaker Entertainment’s Ratchet & Clank; unfortunately, it also meant not getting to see most of the less widely-screened animated movies from overseas, which is a great shame. I haven’t, for example, been able to see The Red Turtle or My Life as a Zucchini - two of the five nominations for this year’s Best Animated Feature Oscar - nor did I catch the well-reviewed French-Canadian production Ballerina (known in the US as Leap!). I also freely confess to being underexposed to anime, meaning I didn’t see anything from Japan this year - with one important exception, which I’ll come to later. I’ll certainly hope to correct some of these oversights at a later date.

THE ALSO-RANS

The following movies are the films that - for one reason or another - didn’t quite connect with me this year. Some are better than others, but to some degree or another I wouldn’t say they succeeded at what they set out to do.

The Angry Birds Movie

This was probably the weakest animated film I saw last year, which - given its essentially functional mediocrity - reflects pretty well on 2016’s lineup as a whole, even though it doesn’t retroactively make The Angry Birds Movie any more impressive.

I’ve already written a complete review of this film, so I don’t want to waste too much additional time on this one, but looking back I do find it striking just how middling this film was, especially when viewed in the context of everything else that came out after it. It remains deeply frustrating that The Angry Birds Movie actually did a lot of the groundwork necessary to produce a better-than-expected adaptation of a plotless physics-based puzzle game - devising a striking look, hiring great actors and laying the foundation for a potentially interesting thematic discussion on the role of anger in a healthy society - before totally squandering that potential on a script that favours lightweight, rambling and puerile comedy over any opportunity to advance the characters or emotional stakes. It’s a film that lazily follows a bog-standard Shrek-lite formula of cheap pop culture gags, toilet humour and sitcom punchlines, seemingly without realising that said playbook is now several years out of date - which, I suppose, is somewhat fitting for a belated spinoff to a mobile app whose popularity peaked about five years ago.

As I say, there are aspects of The Angry Birds Movie that are slightly better than they needed to be - and I’m willing to accept that it’s not easy to reverse-engineer a script that culminates in birds launching themselves into a pig’s castle via catapult - but I feel less charitable towards it in hindsight having since seen DreamWorks’ Trolls, another brand-derived movie that applied infinitely more honest craft and creativity to its subject matter, and achieved exponentially superior results as a consequence. The fact that Angry Birds was able to utilise its stronger brand recognition and well-timed release window to ultimately outgross Trolls on a worldwide basis just emphasises the point that this isn’t a film in need of my charity, or one worth holding up for any reason other than as an example of the kind of lazy work the rest of the industry has long moved beyond.

The Secret Life of Pets

2016 was a banner year for Illumination Entertainment, as the studio not only made the jump to releasing two films within 12 months for the first time ever, but was also able to turn both into bona fide global smash hits without any reliance on their flagship Despicable Me/Minions franchise. The Secret Life of Pets was the more conventional of the two outings, with its higher box office takings showcasing the strength of the Illumination brand as it exists today; however, the film itself also offers an equally sharp insight into the how much room the studio has to grow.

As I alluded to in my recent post about Illumination, there’s a lot to admire in The Secret Life of Pets, and its great success is no mystery to me. It leans heavily on many of the studio’s established strengths, including a flair for kinetic caricature and imaginative physical comedy, and its bright visual style and design work meant it played a significant role in a broader reawakening of the general public’s love affair with talking animal movies. However, it’s also an unintentional showcase of Illumination at its weakest, particularly in its willingness to foreground shallow slapstick over meaningful story development, and its allergic reluctance to challenge the audience emotionally. That the film’s plot is essentially a beat-for-beat pet-oriented remake of the original Toy Story invites comparisons that do not flatter Illumination’s movie, as The Secret Life of Pets is an infinitely shallower film that passes up several golden opportunities to give its characters proper dimension, resulting in an experience that’s basically sweet-natured and inoffensive, but never comes close to making a lasting impression.

With $875 million grossed worldwide, The Secret Life of Pets was undoubtedly one of the year’s biggest success stories, and represents the start of a franchise with considerable potential mileage; however, the series will require a significant injection of depth, pathos and substance if the resulting series is ever going to be able to aspire to anything more than a vehicle for the episodic and rote delivery of middlebrow gags with a bare minimum of investment.

Kubo and the Two Strings

A passion project by Laika Entertainment’s president and CEO (and sadly forgotten rap legend) Travis Knight, Kubo and the Two Strings didn’t do huge business at the box office, but it’s quickly emerged as one of the critical darlings of the year, and a major awards contender. While I love pretty much everything this hugely admirable piece of work represents, I can’t quite bring myself to extend the same feeling to the film itself as a piece of storytelling.

In fact, I’d probably rate Kubo and the Two Strings as one of the bigger disappointments I experienced last year, which is a real bummer, as I have a deep and unbroken fondness for Laika’s work, dating back to their days in their previous incarnation as Will Vinton Studios. Kubo is in most respects their most ambitious film yet, blending their traditional focus on emotional intimacy and dark atmospherics with an epic fantasy sweep. When it works, it’s absolutely magnificent - their stop motion animation and design work has now evolved to the point where it almost looks indistinguishable from CGI at times, and their grasp of subtle melancholy is as peerless - but there’s a shakiness to the story’s fundamentals that I’m unused to seeing from a studio as famed for their attention to detail as Laika are. The tone lurches wildly from tearjerking grimness to flippant buddy comedy and back again; the actual quest narrative is irritatingly coincidence-driven and never more than vaguely explained, giving the audience little scope to share the journey of discovery; and most damagingly, the script doesn’t seem to know what it wants the lead characters of Monkey and Beetle, setting them up as jovially bickering sidekicks before saddling them with dramatically pivotal backstories that feel overly on-the-nose and don’t mesh with their personalities at all. The result is a film to which I gradually lost my emotional connection as it progressed, which is pretty fatal for a story that ends as intimately as this one does.

Add to that some questionable decisions regarding casting - I won’t harp on this too much, but I will say that it’s weird for a film this conscious about authenticity and tone to pass up the benefits that an Asian cast would provide in that regard, and that none of the actual cast give such indelible performances that they couldn’t have been swapped out - and you get a film ranks as my least favourite Laika movie to date. Admittedly, it’s a difficult category in which to compete, but it’s still a shame not to be able to join in the general chorus of appreciation surrounding a film that generally reflects so much of what I love about animation. I still thoroughly appreciate Laika’s work in almost single-handedly propping up the medium of stop-motion through sheer passion and bloody-mindedness, but for me the narrative elements of Kubo and the Two Strings got away from them - and when you’re making a film specifically designed to celebrate the power of storytelling, that creates a hole in the middle of the movie that no amount of technical splendour can fill.

Finding Dory

The top-grossing animated movie of the year, Pixar’s Finding Dory was always going to be a commercial slam-dunk, given the special place its predecessor Finding Nemo holds in the hearts of many; the big question was whether it was going to be able to measure up to the first movie’s legacy in terms of filmmaking. The answer? Ehhh.

That’s certainly not due to a lack of effort, of course; as I’ve touched upon in my previous post concerning this movie, Finding Dory is not a phoned-in sequel, and you can tell that returning director Andrew Stanton has put thought and consideration into how to expand the self-contained story of Finding Nemo outwards in a way that feels organic. The resulting development of the character of Dory - a mentally impaired protagonist seeking to make peace not only with her own past, but also with herself and the way her condition affects her - is rich with emotional pathos and feels like a natural continuation of Finding Nemo’s key themes, as well as forming a meaningful statement on disability in its own right.

Beyond the oasis of that central storyline, however, Finding Dory enters choppier waters. Dory’s journey may be significant in emotional terms, but dramatically it feels small, with the epic, sweeping journey of the first movie swapped for a claustrophobic single-location setting for the majority of the sequel. That reduced sense of scale isn’t helped by the flimsiness of the supporting cast, populated by half-formed ideas like Hank the octopus (who feels like he has a character-defining backstory lying on a cutting room floor somewhere) or one-note gag characters like Destiny, Bailey, Rudder and Fluke (who never come close to being properly developed). Worst of all, Finding Nemo’s protagonist Marlin is purely along for the ride this time, with very little to do other than complain in a way that becomes grating and unentertaining fairly rapidly. The result is a two-hander where one hand is significantly more developed than the other, which - as Nemo himself would tell you - makes it much harder for Finding Dory to swim in the smooth, straight lines you’d expect from a Pixar film.

That said, I’m not sure exactly what I expect from a Pixar film these days. Finding Dory is far from a bad movie, but it’s a pedestrian effort from a studio that seemed to effortlessly maintain a much higher orbit before the turn of the decade. Finding Dory owes a lot of its success to goodwill left over from those peak years, but the lack of love the movie has received on the awards circuit suggests that at least some of that is starting to run dry. There’s a Dory-style lesson to be learned there: old memories aren’t enough to sustain you forever - you have to be able to form new ones, too.

THE RECOMMENDATIONS

The following movies are the films I saw that didn’t quite make my best-of list, but nevertheless worked well enough to make a positive impression. These aren’t the year’s best animated movies - but they are good ones.

Storks

Storks seemed to come and go without anyone really noticing it happened. I myself missed it at the cinema, and catching up with it many months later, I can sort of understand why; it’s a thoroughly odd duck that doesn’t quite fit with any preconceived notion of what an animated feature would look, sound or play like. The aesthetic splits the difference between big-screen polish and Cartoon Network stylisation; the tone wants to be manic, but grounded; flippant, yet also heartfelt; rambling, but wholly plot-driven.

You know what? For all that, I rather enjoyed Storks, although I’m not sure I’d call it a completely functional film. The first animated movie from live-action comedy director Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Neighbors) is a relentlessly high-energy experience that is inevitably irritating and wearying at times, but feels full of a certain kid-in-a-candy-store enthusiasm for the boundless absurdist possibilities that animation can provide; it is also a movie that understands the importance of having a heart, and keeps it beating in the right place. Ultimately, Storks doesn’t have anything more profound to say than “babies are nice, and finding your family is great”, but it’s sincere about the way it says it, whether that’s through the oddly charming quasi-romantic chemistry between the avian middle manager Junior and scatterbrained teenage orphan Tulip, or through the engaging B-plot of a young boy reconnecting with his workaholic parents as they wait for delivery of a new baby brother. It’s also an understatedly progressive movie in a couple of ways - it’s nice to focus on a mixed-gender comedic pairing where the female member gets to be the zany one for a change, and you even get some pleasantly matter-of-fact representation of LGBT parent couples thrown in towards the end for good measure, albeit in blink-and-you’ll-miss-it fashion.

That said, this is also an incredibly ramshackle piece of work, full of non-sequitur narrative detours and extended joke sequences that don’t really land - antagonist Toady, an obnoxious business-bro pigeon, feels like an out-of-control SNL skit in place of an actual character, for example. That’s a weakness that cuts across many parts of the film, in fact; Stoller gives the script more of a mannered, improvisational feel than is strictly good for it, resulting in a whole lot of gag lines that feel purely like punchlines crafted by a writer, rather than effective expressions of character. Nevertheless, on balance, I’m happy that the revamped Warner Animation Group are using their post-The Lego Movie relaunch to establish a distinct identity for themselves, rather than going down the me-too route of their Quest for Camelot days; I think it’s even better that their chosen identity is one that tries to honour the company’s offbeat Looney Tunes legacy, as that’s a style we don’t see often enough in the modern feature animation landscape. Clearly, we’re going to be getting a lot of Lego spinoffs and sequels that uphold a Phil Lord/Chris Miller-flavoured variation of that approach, but that type of comedy is good for more than just endless Lego movies - and so are Warner Bros. In that respect, I’d like for Storks to be the beginning of a more diversified lineup from Warner Bros, not the end, which is why this imperfect little movie just about edged its way into my recommendations category; the quality isn’t always there, but the right spirit is there in spades.

Kung Fu Panda 3

In another year, Kung Fu Panda 3 would have been a much bigger deal than it ended up being. It was a very good animated movie in a year full of them, a talking animal film coming out just as the genre suddenly became ubiquitous, and a high-quality sequel to a franchise that had probably been away from the big screen a few years too long for audiences to still be invested. Heck, even in China - the market where this US-Chinese co-production was clearly ordained to sweep aside all comers - this belated threequel had its thunder stolen, reigning briefly as the region’s highest-grossing animated movie ever before the breakout success of Disney’s Zootopia took the title away after only one month.

All of that is a bit of a shame, because - as I’ve mentioned - Kung Fu Panda 3 is a very good movie, even if it is unquestionably the weakest instalment in the trilogy. It lacks the energetic freshness of the 2008 original and the impressive emotional scope of 2011’s Kung Fu Panda 2, the bracing darkness of which Kung Fu Panda 3 largely backs away from in favour of something a bit cosier and smaller-scale. In that respect, this is very much the Return of the Jedi of this series, with all that entails - right down to being set in a hidden village of cuddly bears - but none of that makes it anything like a bad film. For one thing, it’s absolutely beautiful to look at - one of the most aesthetically gorgeous pieces of animation I’ve seen for a while, with vivid colours, stylised action, stunning 2D sequences and masterful incorporation of the look of Chinese paintings into its visual style. That respectfulness goes beyond the visual elements, though; the first Kung Fu Panda may have been a watershed movie for DreamWorks in adopting a tone of loving pastiche rather than broad spoof, but the sequels have been so reverential to the genre and culture that inspired them that you almost wish they’d dropped the comedy focus altogether and pivoted the series in the direction of full-on anthropomorphic wuxia adventure, with a tone closer to the How to Train Your Dragon movies.

Still, what we’ve got from Kung Fu Panda is pretty great, thanks not only to their embrace of the excitement and philosophies of martial arts cinema, but also to their commitment to strong characterisation of their key players. Po the panda remains a delightful creation, with Jack Black consistently finding and underplaying the notes of earthy wisdom and spiritual growth in a character who could easily have come across as 100% fanboy goofball, and his relationship with the elderly goose Mr Ping - voiced with wonderful warmth and eccentricity by the brilliant James Hong - remains one of the most oddly affecting father-son relationships in animated cinema. The addition of Po’s birth father Li Shan (Bryan Cranston) to that dynamic in Kung Fu Panda 3 is handled maturely, in a way that celebrates unconventional family structures, and that emotional throughline works in tandem with the spiritual concepts of the story to provide a strong foundation. In truth, there’s not all that much going on beyond that, other than colourful action setpieces - once again the supporting cast, including Po’s brothers-in-arms the Furious Five, are left frustratingly underused and underdeveloped - leaving Kung Fu Panda 3 feeling like the slightest entry in the series; nevertheless, it’s still a satisfying, funny adventure that brings the series to a fitting thematic conclusion. In truth, Kung Fu Panda probably is a series whose time has passed; if that’s the case, I’m glad it got to impart a few more words of wisdom before moving on.

Sing

The second and less conventional of Illumination Entertainment’s 2016 efforts, the musical extravaganza Sing may have been the lower-grossing and slightly less well-reviewed of the two outings, but for my money it outdoes The Secret Life of Pets on every level creatively - to the point where I’m wondering if everyone else saw these two movies the wrong way around.

When I call Sing “unconventional”, I’m not really talking about its approach to genre and storytelling, because frankly it really couldn’t be any more conventional in those respects. This is a big, broad, goofy, follow-your-dreams jukebox musical that garnishes the X Factor/American Idol template with a sprig of Muppets-style save-the-theatre backstage drama - you know, in case the overstuffed ensemble cast didn’t already have enough underdogs to root for. Said ensemble, which includes a shy teen elephant with an angel’s voice, an overworked mother pig with dreams of stardom, a young gorilla seeking to escape a life of crime and a punk rock porcupine breaking away from her controlling jerk boyfriend, is packed to bursting with character arcs that you’ll be able to predict with perfect accuracy the moment they begin - or perhaps even before then, if you’ve seen any of the too-numerous trailers for Sing that essentially summarise the entire story beat for beat.

But when judging a movie like this, it’s important to remember that cliche is not inherently a sin - a familiar recipe can still taste fabulous when the ingredients are prepared with care and attention, and so it proves with Sing, a movie that’s made with infinitely more sincerity and ambition than it’s been given credit for. It feels good to be able to praise an Illumination movie for those qualities, and that’s where the “unconventional” aspect comes into play, as this is a film that has clearly benefited from the studio searching outside its usual creative talent pool and taking a punt on Garth Jennings, the likeable British filmmaker responsible for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Son of Rambow. A prolific director of music videos, Jennings is clearly someone with a passion for music that saturates Sing, turning what could have been an empty exercise in celebrity animal karaoke into a genuine celebration of the restorative power of music. That earnestness also bleeds into the characterisation, which - for as formulaic as it unarguably is - is written and performed with enough heart-on-sleeve honesty to paper over many more cracks than Sing actually has. Sure, there are times where it feels like the sheer multitude of characters means certain moments don’t get the focus they need, and there are certainly notes and song choices - particularly the use of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” during a moment of sombre redemption - that will be too on-the-nose for even the most wide-eyed audience member, but beyond that there’s really nothing wrong with this movie at all, to the extent that I’m a little confused every time I see a bad review of it. It’s certainly not perfect, but it’s assembled with such professionalism and such a conscious eagerness to make you happy - especially during its barnstorming, impossibly fleet-footed finale - that it seems churlish to refuse.

Despite what I perceived to be a relative lack of appreciation of its full merits, I’m happy to see that this film did well for itself, and I hope it encourages Illumination to make more movies with this kind of heart behind it. Sing’s emotional stakes may be somewhat prosaic, but they’re big and bold and dominant in a way that prior Illumination movies, with their focus on slapstick silliness, have seemed shy about embracing. In a previous post, I lamented the studio’s inability to produce a truly classic movie up until this point, and expressed a hope that Sing might be a step along the right path; in that respect, it delivered. Sing may not be the first great Illumination movie, but if they keep going in this direction, they may just get there.

THE BEST OF THE YEAR

In descending order, these are my top five animated movies of the year. They may be very different films operating and succeeding on different levels, but in my view these are the films that really encapsulated all the facets of what I love about animated cinema, and exemplify the form’s boundless versatility.

5. Sausage Party

In film criticism, originality is often taken to be a cardinal virtue; we mark films down for adhering to weathered formulas or archetypes, and give credit for the ones that do things we haven’t seen before. When Sausage Party was released last year to rock-solid reviews, many were shocked, but really, they ought not have been that surprised - after all, it’s not often that we get to see what a truly original movie looks like.

On paper, Sausage Party seems transgressive without being all that groundbreaking; after all, we’ve seen crude animated movies for adult audiences before, from Fritz the Cat through to the works of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, but there’s something about the way Sausage Party was positioned that made it unique - sure, it was made for a mere $19 million, but this was that rare R-rated animated film that was ordained to compete in the big leagues, rather than breaking out from some underground niche. US-produced adult animations usually accept their status as esoteric oddities, embracing unfashionable visual styles and anti-mainstream sensibilities; Sausage Party rejects that, using modern tools and an aesthetic that credibly approximates the familiar look of its Disney/Pixar contemporaries to mark itself as a film designed to be seen and embraced by the biggest possible audience. Regardless of what you might think of the film itself, the manner of Sausage Party’s release was trailblazing - the first proper attempt by a studio in years to break American adult animation out of its enthusiasts-only ghetto and show that cartoons for older audiences can be appeal on the same level as a live-action movie of the same genre. That Sausage Party went on to gross of nearly $100 million in the US should be seen a massive win for the medium, and will hopefully embolden the industry to further experiment with the kinds of animated stories and visions they’re willing to bankroll in future.

Of course, this victory would feel tainted if Sausage Party had turned out to be exploitative trash, but watching the final film, even hardcore Sausage-sceptics would have to admit it’s a movie that embraces substantive ideas and commits to them, hard. Your mileage is likely to depend on how well you click with the sensibilities of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (Superbad, This is the End, The Interview), who’ve made a career on exploring challenging concepts in unabashedly juvenile terms, because this movie represents the apotheosis of their operating model to date; taking the Pixar template of “what if X had feelings?” to its most lurid conclusion, Sausage Party is a deceptively literate spiritual odyssey that confronts sentient food items with the brutal reality of what they were created for, sending them spiralling into existential crisis and surreal voyages of self-actualisation. As a deconstruction and critique of religious thought, it’s intelligent in a number of ways, opting against abrasive confrontationalism in favour of a humanist, pluralist conclusion that encourages people to reject the limits that society places on them and be their authentic selves in a non-judgemental fashion; what’s just as impressive is the way it’s able to explore this essentially benign, moderate message in such relentlessly coarse, taboo-shattering terms, without feeling like it’s working at crossed purposes with itself. This is a film with legitimately interesting things to say about the evils of dogma, the need for respectful discourse, the importance of actualising your sexual identity and the destructiveness of identity-based conflict - and does so almost entirely through the medium of cartoon violence and dick jokes. All of this builds to a jaw-dropping third act of insanely violent, sexualised excess that’s honestly unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a mainstream movie - and yet somehow still feels reverent enough to the spirit of Toy Story that its credentials as a legitimate entry in the same animated adventure genre remain unbroken.

I’m ardent in my admiration for what Sausage Party represents, and I say that with full acceptance of its problems. Its gleeful indulgence of ethnic stereotyping, for example, doesn’t really pay off with a satirical point clever enough to justify it all, while the sheer crudeness of the film - the villain is literally an anthropomorphic douche - is likely to stop a lot of people from connecting. I also need to give acknowledgement to the widespread stories of mistreatment and exploitation of the animation team by production company Nitrogen Studios and co-director Greg Tiernan, which puts that thrifty $19 million budget in a different light; that can’t really be excused, but it also doesn’t invalidate the fact that the resulting film is a valuable, singular piece of pop art that’s worth much more than the sum of its parts. It’s up to you to decide whether knowing how the sausage was made is enough to put you off; all I’m saying is that it’s worth trying, because Sausage Party is both tastier and more nutritious than you might expect.

4. Trolls

One of the main reasons why 2016 ended up such a good year for animation is that, due to some strange quirk of scheduling, many of the major studios ended up releasing two films during the year. I’ve covered Illumination’s pair already, and I’ll be coming to Disney’s duo momentarily; for now, I want to give some much-needed kudos to the oft-criticised DreamWorks, who not only turned out a fine Kung Fu Panda sequel, but also somehow elevated a reboot of the Trolls toy franchise from cultural detritus into a genuinely joyous moviegoing experiences.

I expounded at length quite recently about the many virtues of Mike Mitchell and Walt Dohrn’s cuddly little movie, so I won’t add too much here, other than to say that my admiration for a film that still stands out as a surprise of the most pleasant variety hasn’t dimmed. There’s always a special kind of joy that comes with being blindsided by a great film that comes out of nowhere, and Trolls is the very definition of that: the concept sounded terrible, the early marketing was appalling, and yet the final film is confident, earnest, visually beguiling and bursting with an infectiously guileless goodwill that’s much harder to evoke in a sincere way than Trolls makes it look. Indeed, in a world where Sony Pictures Animation continues to struggle to strike the right tone with its various adaptations of the esteemed Smurfs franchise, DreamWorks deserves applause for nailing the right mix of sweetness and spice on the first attempt at what’s essentially the same concept. That’s not to say Trolls is wholly derivative, though; if the “happy forest friends” setup isn’t exactly groundbreaking, there’s ambition to its lightly-sketched philosophical exploration of the spiritual origins of happiness, while its sharp humour and aesthetic exuberance ensure it never forgets to make you feel the emotion it’s examining. If there’s one lingering disappointment, it’s that more people didn’t notice exactly how impressive this fluffy and genuinely uplifting jukebox musical turned out to be; with its theatrical run topping out at a solid but unspectacular $339.5 million worldwide, Trolls remains one of 2016’s better-kept secrets, a movie that seemed to pass most people by. That’s an unfortunate outcome for a film that I’m willing to list among the best animations of the year, but it does at least preserve its status as a surprise package waiting to be opened, shared and discovered by more people.

I hope, too, that DreamWorks take solace and pride in the quality of the work they put out in 2016. Both Kung Fu Panda 3 and Trolls both ended up as modest rather than overwhelming commercial successes, but there was a solidity and assuredness to both movies that the studio hasn’t always found easy to come by; these are qualities that will serve the company well as it prepares for life under the new ownership of Universal. Of course, DreamWorks will always be DreamWorks, and maybe inconsistency is baked into their DNA: the fact they’re following up such a strong 2016 with a 2017 slate consisting of The Boss Baby and Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie seems like a testament to that. But hey, this time last year I was busy writing off Trolls, so what the hell do I know?

3. Moana

It’s weird for me to think about this, but most people born after about 1990 or so probably don’t actually remember a time when Disney were the undisputed kings of feature animation. Ever since Pixar released Toy Story in 1995, they’ve ceased to be the only game in town, and there were times during the mid-2000s when they looked to be drifting into irrelevance; since then, however, they’ve come roaring back, and I feel as though 2016 will be seen in years to come as a point where Walt Disney Animation Studios really reasserted their dominance, even more so than their historic success with Frozen in 2013. I’ve praised Illumination and DreamWorks for the impressive feat of releasing two good movies in the same year, but that pales in comparison to Disney, whose achievement in releasing two potential all-time classics within eight months is little short of a miracle.

Due to its choice of genre, Moana was probably seen as the safe option out of the two movies, but anyone who’s seen it will know that writing it off as just another Disney princess musical is doing the film a massively reductive disservice. Veteran directors Ron Clements and John Musker’s (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Princess and the Frog) first CGI movie feels like a substantial and welcome reinvention not just of their filmmaking approach, but of the “princess movie” template in general. This is a formula that Disney have been committed to tinkering with since the 1990s Disney Renaissance era, but never to such a root-and-branch degree as Moana, which takes only the most essential components of the template - to paraphrase the script itself, the fact that its protagonist “is the daughter of a chief, wears a dress and has an animal sidekick” - and builds a rousingly individualistic seafaring action-adventure with a refreshing perspective. It’s not just the fact that Moana feels different from her predecessors, with her Polynesian origins and stockier build, it’s that she functions differently; unlike any other Disney princess, she’s a swashbuckling hero first and foremost, embarking on a world-saving quest through active choice, rather than stumbling into one as a byproduct of some mission of family duty. On that foundation, Musker and Clements build a film that consistently zags where other Disney movies zig. This is an action-adventure that’s basically without a true villain; where the male lead, the blustering demigod Maui, remains strictly a supporting player, with no hint of unnecessary romantic intrigue; where the main animal sidekick is a scraggly idiot rooster that actively hinders the quest, while the cute, marketable pig stays home.

Of course, different isn’t necessarily better, but it certainly feels like a value-added bonus when your film is already as good as Moana is. Technically, it’s one of Disney’s most accomplished efforts, with astounding water effects and a beautiful oceanic palette, and it benefits from the same sparky dialogue and buddy-comedy chemistry between its leads that’s become a Disney trademark. Musker and Clements seem to have made progress on overcoming the somewhat episodic feel of their previous movies, with more of a sense of coherent driving momentum pushing forward the story, and they’ve certainly come on leaps and bounds in terms of cultural authenticity since the days of, say, Aladdin, with the Pacific Island setting treated with great respect in aesthetic, spiritual and casting terms. Then, of course, there’s Lin-Manuel Miranda, Opetaia Foa’i and Mark Mancina’s compositionally intricate and effortlessly catchy soundtrack, which is probably the finest from Disney since The Lion King - and hell, even The Lion King didn’t have a glam rock David Bowie style parody sung by a giant kleptomaniac crab, so maybe Moana has even that one beaten. It’s not all perfect, though; much as I loved the film, it does have a few pacing problems; the story spends an unusually long time getting Moana to leave her home island of Motunui, only to occasionally feel becalmed once the journey actually gets underway. The open ocean is an evocative setting, but it can also get pretty repetitive, and there are points in Moana where you start to miss the broader ensemble cast and diverse backdrops that we might have gotten if not for all the lonely, endless blue.

None of that was enough to prevent Moana from becoming one of the best and biggest animated movies of the year - though you get the sense that some pundits were expecting a bit more commercially from Disney’s first big princess musical since Frozen. It’s true that Moana’s solid $575 million-and-counting worldwide total doesn’t bear comparison to Frozen’s record-setting $1.27 billion - but then, when you think about it, Moana didn’t really turn out to be all that comparable to Frozen anyway. It’s possible that Moana reinvented so much about what makes a princess movie that it no longer registered as being one in the eyes of the audience - or perhaps it was never really a princess movie in the first place, and scored its own success on its own terms. Princess or not, she is Moana, and that’s good enough for me.

2. Your Name (Kimi no Na wa)

As I mentioned before, I have an unfortunate blind spot when it comes to anime, with my exposure to Japan’s prolific feature output basically limited to Studio Ghibli films and a small handful of others. That’s something I’d like to work on, so I jumped at the chance to see Makoto Shinkai’s blockbusting romance Your Name at the cinema last year as a way of putting that right; what I got was an outstanding and emotionally overwhelming reminder of everything I’ve been missing out on.

Your Name is a difficult movie to categorise - my best attempt would be “supernatural gender/body-swap tragicomedy-drama disaster romance epic”, but even that would be underselling the deft changeability and tonal fluidity of this marvellously-constructed movie, which came within a hair’s breadth of ranking as my favourite of the year. Part of that versatility comes from its mastery of the medium - I know it’s not intended to function as a primer on anime, but it couldn’t have done a better job if it tried, such is its command of everything that defines the format at its best. Here’s a 2D animated film that feels truly modern, that pushes hand-drawn animation to new levels of technical beauty and adventurous stylisation without feeling even slightly retro; here’s an animated film that can speak directly to a teenage and young adult audience, with a pop soundtrack and frank allusion to concepts of sexuality and gender identity, and evoke that lived experience of yearning adolescence in a way that feels sophisticated and universal; here’s an animated film that knows how to bring metaphysical mystery, power and spirituality to its narrative with a light touch, leaving just enough traces of magic to lend an edge of unknowable enormity to the intimate character story we’re being told. These are areas in which the best anime movies uniquely excel, and Shinkai seems to understand implicitly how to leverage these strengths without any of the weaknesses.

But Your Name isn’t designed to be appreciated on a beard-stroking conceptual level; for all its artistic accomplishment, it’s a weepy teenage romance at heart, and you couldn’t ask for one better. Its protagonists - small town girl Mitsuha and Tokyo boy Taki, who mysteriously find themselves intermittently swapping bodies - are enormously likeable leads with whom it’s easy to empathise, whether it’s Mitsuha’s longing to experience life beyond her idyllic but fishbowl-like rural community, or Taki’s increasingly passionate desire to connect directly with the girl who’s literally changing his life from the inside. The latter quest comes to form the driving emotional engine of the film, and writer-director Shinkai does a fine job of creating a palpable closeness between the two characters, whilst at the same time putting them in a situation where every conceivable obstacle - time, space, fate - stand in the way of them ever meeting. If that sounds melodramatic, that’s because it is, but Your Name knows exactly how to sell a brand of epic romance that makes the audience feel like they’re seeing something much more profound than the feelings of two people; that’s partly a function of the gorgeous hyperreality of the visuals, but also a testament to the way Shinkai unfolds the story, expanding what starts out as a light, sweet body-swap fantasy into something larger and more mythic. To say more about how Your Name pivots and pirouettes through different plot ideas and genres would give too much away about a film that benefits greatly from being unpacked at its own pace, so I won’t go further, other than to say it builds to something that’s sweeping, exhilarating and wistful in all the right ways.

If it sounds like I’m giving this movie the hard sell, that’s very much intentional - certainly, Your Name doesn’t need any more of a push in Asia, where it’s been a record-breaking success, but Western audiences seem to be much less aware of it, as evidenced by its surprise omission from this year’s Best Animated Feature Oscar nominees. This may be partly because because the film isn’t actually due to be released in US theatres until April 7th 2017, a stunningly long delay that nevertheless gives me an opportunity to urge any American readers to make sure they catch it on the biggest possible screen. After all, Your Name helped to show me everything I’m missing by not watching enough good anime; the least I can do to return the favour is to make sure nobody misses this one.

1. Zootopia

Nobody who’s followed this blog for any length of time will be shocked by this choice; in fact, nobody who saw the Oscars or pays any attention to the film industry in general will be too surprised, as Disney’s Zootopia has proven a commercial phenomenon, a darling among reviewers and an awards magnet. Inevitably, this means the film has started to attract a few contrarian potshots, but I’m not interested in engaging with that; after all if we can’t take a moment to earnestly celebrate one of the best and bravest films Disney have made in decades, then why do we even watch movies?

I’ve spent a lot of words talking about Zootopia over the last 12 months, and yet it still doesn’t feel like it’s left my system; with its incredible visual design, instantly lovable character chemistry, deft pacing and bubbling comedic energy, it encapsulates pretty much every one of Disney’s traditional strengths, while also excelling in areas where the studio have never traditionally dared to tread. As a piece of worldbuilding, its thoroughness exceeds many science-fiction films - the breathtaking wonder of the first train ride into the city of Zootopia is a Disney moment for the ages, rendered with such immersive intimacy that I’d love to see it retrofitted as a VR experience - while the film’s vaulting thematic ambitions and willingness to delve into challenging social commentary feel like a seismic sea change for a company with a reputation for corporatised artistic conservatism. That I rate Zootopia as the best animated film of an incredibly strong year doesn’t preclude acknowledgement of its imperfections - the police procedural elements are a little oversimplified, it can be episodic at times, the metaphors can sometimes be heavy-handed - but it’s the intelligent, open-hearted generosity of the thematic dialogue it opens up with its audience that makes those concerns feel small. This is a pointed, satirical and often overtly politicised piece of work, addressing deeply divisive issues of prejudice, system bias, internalised privilege and societal identity, and yet it manages to do so in a way that feels pluralistic, universally empowering and non-judgemental - a feat that most adult-oriented media struggles to achieve. It’s a film that educates without lecturing, that shows asks you to find your own answers rather than spoonfeeding you solutions, that shines a light on the problems that society faces but still lets you walk out feeling energised, rather than depressed. That’s difficult for any movie to achieve; for Disney, with almost no experience of making topical satire, to be able to pull this off while still ticking all the boxes of a superlative, adorable and hilarious family adventure is one of the greatest accomplishments in their entire 80-year history of feature animation.

Honestly, if I have any lingering feeling of disappointment about Zootopia, it’s the question of why the message it expressed so eloquently didn’t end up making a bigger impression on those who saw it. That a movie with such an explicitly educational theme of cultural unification and overcoming differences was able to gross more than $1 billion in a year as riven by political division and opprobrium as 2016 is a testament to cinema’s value as a means of escape; unfortunately, it also probably tells us a lot about the cognitive dissonance that prevents people from actually living up to the virtues expressed by the media they enjoy. I started the year wondering whether Zootopia would be as good a movie as we deserve from Disney in 2016; I ended it wondering whether 2016 deserved Zootopia. Nevertheless, I’ll try to hold on the virtues the film embodied, and take heart from the fact that children raised with this heartfelt, articulate and deeply empathetic movie stand a much better chance of learning the right lessons from it than the rest of us did. After all, if a naive rabbit and a jaded fox can learn to overcome prejudice, see things from other perspectives and make the world a better place, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us mammals as well.

[buddieswhvre]

MOODBOARD MONDAY

So this is my first time making a moodboard lol and this one's for the fic that is inspired by the novel "Kaleidoscope of death"

[starfriday]

CHIPS, directed by Dax Shepard is releasing across cinemas in India on March 24th, 2017.

Dax Shepard (“Hit & Run,” TV’s “Parenthood”) and Michael Peña (“Ant-Man”) star in the action comedy “CHIPS,” directed by Shepard from his own script.   

Jon Baker (Shepard) and Frank “Ponch” Poncherello (Peña) have just joined the California Highway Patrol (CHP) in Los Angeles, but for very different reasons.  Baker is a beaten-up former pro motorbiker trying to put his life and marriage back together.  Poncherello is a cocky undercover Federal agent investigating a multi-million dollar heist that may be an inside job—inside the CHP.  

The inexperienced rookie and the hardened pro are teamed together, but clash more than click, so kick-starting a real partnership is easier said than done.  But with Baker’s unique bike skills and Ponch’s street savvy it might just work…if they don’t drive each other crazy first.

“CHIPS” also stars Rosa Salazar (“Insurgent”), Adam Brody (“Think Like a Man Too”), Kristen Bell (“Bad Moms”), and Vincent D’Onofrio (“Jurassic World”).

The film was produced by Andrew Panay (“Earth to Echo,” “Wedding Crashers”), who previously produced Shepard’s “Hit & Run,” and Ravi Mehta (“Get Hard”), and is based on the popular television series created by Rick Rosner.  Robert J. Dohrmann, Nate Tuck, Rick Rosner, Michael Peña and Dax Shepard served as executive producers.

Collaborating behind the scenes were director of photography Mitchell Amundsen (“Ride Along 2”), production designer Maher Ahmad (“Hangover 3”), editor Dan Lebental (“Ant-Man”), costume designer Diane Crooke (TV’s “Parenthood”) and composer Fil Eisler (“Empire”).

Warner Bros. Pictures presents, an Andrew Panay Production, “CHIPS” is distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment company.  

ABOUT THE MOVIE

SEX, DRUGS & HIGHWAY PATROL

What happens when you team up a former X-Games star with a busted-up body and a painkiller habit, and an over-sexed undercover Fed with too much confidence, give them each a badge and a bike and set them loose on the sun-baked highways of Southern California?  

CHIP happens.  

More to the point, if you’re writer/director Dax Shepard, you deliver a buddy cop comedy loaded with enough action, stunts and hard-R humor to push it to the legal limit.

Shepard also stars as Jon, opposite Michael Peña as his partner, Ponch.  “This is about two very different guys with vastly different agendas and skill sets, who have to learn how to ride together, pick up the slack for each other and ultimately trust each other with their lives,” Shepard says.  And if that sounds a little high-minded, “It also has nudity—though granted, mostly of me—and epic chases, destruction, and explosions.  I don’t think we went more than three days on this movie without blowing something up.  The action is real, the jumps are real and the fights are almost real.”  

In other words, this ain’t your parents’ “CHIPS.”

Jon Baker is a newly minted officer of the California Highway Patrol, CHP for short.  Jon’s a mess.  But, fueled by optimism, prescription meds and a single-minded desire to make good and win back his ex-wife, he’s ready to face any challenge or humiliation with everything he’s got.  For now, that means playing it by the book, keeping his nose clean and writing lots of tickets.  Just one problem: he’s stuck on day one with a take-charge partner who doesn’t give a damn about any of that.

Francis Llewellyn Poncherello, aka Ponch, is actually Miami FBI agent Castillo, a guy with a big success rate and the swagger to match.  He also has a pathological weakness for women, especially women in yoga pants, which is a much bigger problem now that has to straddle a bike every day.  Perpetually cocked and locked, he’s in L.A. undercover to smoke out a dirty-cop robbery ring inside the CHP.  

Of course Jon doesn’t know this up front, including the fact that he was picked as Ponch’s partner only because they figured he was too green to ask questions.  Or get in the way.  

But when things get real out there, these two newest members of the force have to find a way to get past each other’s bulls**t and get on with it, because they have only each other to rely on.

Producer Andrew Panay, who collaborated with Shepard on the 2012 romantic action comedy “Hit & Run,” signed up for the ride as soon as he read the script.  “It’s incredibly funny, and wall-to-wall action,” he says. “The comedy is edgy and the action is a little throwback because it’s not a lot of visual effects.  We did most of the stunts in-camera, and Dax does a lot of his own stunts, so it feels authentic.”

“I can think of a lot of movies that are funny but I don’t remember the action, or it was just background,” says Peña.  “This is obviously a comedy, but Dax wanted the jokes and the stunts to work together so when we transition into the action sequences there’s validity to it.  He really gets the setups and the payoffs and how to break down the characters so people can relate.”

It helped that Shepard was writing about something he loves—motorcycles—and that he knew the players.  “I started this project knowing Michael and I were Ponch and Jon, so I could play to our strengths.  A lot of times you’re writing in a vacuum because you don’t know the cast, but I could be more specific here.  My passion is motorcycles and cars, so I knew we’d be doing a lot of riding, and that gave me the freedom to write scenes where we’re talking trash over a chase.  All of that definitely informed the kind of story I was going to tell.”

Shepard was committed to showcase a range of stunts with high-performance machines. “I wanted great motorcycle action from a variety of disciplines, so we have motocross-style stunts, road race stunts, drifting, a lot of different things,” he lays out.  “We needed bikes that could jump and corner tight with amazing speed and braking, bikes that could handle stairs.  But I couldn’t do those things on stock CHP bikes because the logic wouldn’t hold up.  The bad guys could have whatever they wanted, and that was a completely different vibe, but I had to figure out how to get Jon and Ponch onto cool motorcycles to catch up with them. That introduced the premise of Ponch being undercover FBI.”  

The writer/director also took a page from his own life by giving Jon the need to figure out what makes people tick.  “Jon’s always trying to understand why he does what he does.  I’m very much interested in what drives me, or what drives other people, so that became a part of the character,” Shepard explains.  That translates into Jon trying to analyze his hug-averse partner, or, say, figure out why Ponch requires so much “alone time” in the bathroom multiple times a day…  

A running joke in the film, Jon’s touchy-feely observations contrast with Ponch’s more down-and-dirty commentary, like the way he has to enlighten his out-of-circulation partner on the current sexual scene—namely certain back door maneuvers Jon had no idea had gone mainstream.  

Either way, what it boils down to is them being themselves.  And being guys.  “Ponch and Jon come from opposite directions on so many things,” says producer Ravi Mehta.  “Not only tight-lipped versus TMI, but Jon’s a stickler for the rules and Ponch likes to fly by the seat of his pants, so they start out not clicking at all.  But once they’re through fighting it, and let their guards down, they actually feed off of how different they are.  That’s when it becomes more of a bromance and a true partnership.”

That means owning their screw-ups as much as merging their talents.  

Citing the inspiration he drew from the late ‘70s/early ‘80s TV series created by Rick Rosner, who is now one of the film’s executive producers, Shepard says, “To me, the key elements of that show were the setting, the bikes, and the fact that Jon and Ponch were heroes.”  And as much as those characters were unique to the show, his Jon and Ponch are different. This is a new incarnation, with its own personality—a big-screen “CHIPS” for a new generation that takes the stunts, action, and comedy further than the small screen would allow.  

It wouldn’t be the CHP without Southern California.  “The CHP is emblematic of California and we worked incredibly hard to keep this production in Los Angeles,” says Mehta.  “We made sure L.A. was featured in the art direction and the action, so audiences will see parts of the downtown area as well as beaches and deserts.  There’s even a chase through pine trees in the Angeles National Forest.”

“Growing up in Detroit, where it was overcast a lot and freezing cold, I loved L.A.-based films,” says Shepard.  “For me it was a two-hour vacation to sunny SoCal.”

But this take on California living is far from laid-back. “The story is constantly moving,” says Vincent D’Onofrio, who stars as Lieutenant Ray Kurtz, a veteran cop with the power to make a whole lot of trouble for the new recruits.  “It wows you with the action and the motorcycle scenes.  Then so many of these actors are also great comedians and they’re just killing it.”  

The “CHIPS” main starring cast includes Adam Brody as Clay Allen, an FBI agent Castillo shoots “accidentally on purpose” in Miami before taking this West Coast gig as Ponch.  His arm in a sling, the still-pissed-off Allen follows Castilo to L.A. as the bureau’s point person on the case.  Rosa Salazar also stars as CHP officer Ava Perez, who shares Jon’s love of hot bikes…and possibly other things, if only he’d get with the program.  

Not surprisingly, “CHIPS” bears little resemblance to the day-to-day lives of actual CHP officers, some of whom worked with the production to keep everyone safe during their location shoots on active roadways.  “The officers on set with us were great sports,” says Shepard.  “It goes without saying, we have nothing but respect for the job that law enforcement does every day to keep us safe in the real world.  Everything we did was to the extreme and played for entertainment.”

In fact, there was a great deal of cooperation between the CHP and the filmmaking team, from informal pre-production meetings over the content and logistics of the script to a tour of the organization’s Sacramento training facility.  “During the shoot, they gave us escorts on scouts, which gave us freeway access that would have otherwise been nearly impossible to secure,” Panay recounts. The filmmakers were even granted access to the CHP headquarters in downtown Los Angeles, which, he adds, “was something we had been hoping for and was the pinnacle of our working relationship.”

But in case there’s any doubt about what audiences are in for, “CHIPS” opens with this friendly disclaimer: This film is not endorsed by the California Highway Patrol.  At all.

TO SERVE AND BRO-TECT

The oldest rookie to ever join the force, as his supervisor points out, Jon Baker may not seem like an obvious candidate for the job—that is, until his fellow recruits see him ride.  Clearly, “The Baker” is still a force to content with on the road, but, says Shepard, “As an X-Games motocross competitor he had sponsors and fans; he had the money and the glory and the great life.  That’s all over now.  He’s had about 20 surgeries, broken a lot of bones, and he’s not in the best physical shape.  He’s in a transition period.”

Mostly, Jon is still reeling from the breakup of his marriage.  Karen, played by Shepard’s real-life wife Kristen Bell, is a trophy from his heyday that he can’t let go.  He’s convinced he can get her back once he gets out of his slump, so he continues to live in the tiny guest room behind the luxury home they once shared, and that Karen still occupies, just to remain close.  And, in spite of her total lack of interest, Shepard offers, “he continues to attend couples therapy.  Alone.”

At the same time, the former star athlete is focusing on a new career path he hopes will make his ex take notice.  The only thing he really knows how to do is ride a motorcycle, so he picks a profession for which that advantage might tip the odds in his favor.  

But, whatever his motives, Shepard notes, “It turns out that once they decide to give him a badge, he takes this job very seriously.”

Not so with Ponch.  In his mind, this ace fed is just passing through.  He’s here to wrap up his assignment, hang up his helmet and go home.  The truth is, Ponch’s high-profile cases have created some high-profile collateral damage, and sending him to California was good for the bureau in more ways than one.  Sure, he’s here to break up this insider ring.  But, since he was caught sexting with the wife of a drug kingpin he just busted in Miami, it would also be better for everyone if he was out of town, and out of touch, during the trial.

“Yeah, he’s a little bit of a sex addict,” Peña acknowledges.

“I actually like some of Ponch’s quirks,” the actor continues.  “He’s kind of clumsy, for one.  He thinks he can do anything, so, even though he can’t really ride a bike that well, he’s always pushing that limit.  His ego gets in the way and sometimes he crashes.  But beyond that, he’s capable at what he does and he’s really focused on the case, and I like that about him.”  

Peña’s portrayal, Mehta feels, “preserves the machismo of the character while bringing a whole level of comedy to it with these very human flaws.”  

For Shepard, “I couldn’t see anyone but Michael in this role. He’s a phenomenal actor and effortlessly charismatic, even when he needs to be angry or embarrassed.”

Matched up with Jon, it’s a sure bet he’s gonna be angry and embarrassed a lot.

What Ponch expects in a partner is someone who can follow orders, keep his mouth shut and not draw too much attention. Unfortunately, none of those things describe Jon.  On the other hand, Jon’s ideal partner would be a generally more easygoing guy who knows how to take a bunny hill without rolling off his ride, and is open to a little meaningful conversation from time to time.  

“So much of the story is about their dynamic,” says Peña.  “Ponch is very logical and focused on the present, and Jon is more in tune with his feelings and about fixing his marriage, like he’s always ‘three beers too deep’ with the intimacy.”

To his credit, Ponch comes to grudgingly acknowledge Jon’s instincts as a detective, not to mention his insane skills on two wheels.  As they continue to work together, with all the minute-by-minute sacrifices and real heroism that entails, they begin to understand more about each other. “Ponch starts to meet Jon in the middle and maybe even attempt a more emotional point of view, and it’s funny to watch him try out this completely unfamiliar approach,” he adds.

The bottom line is, they have a job to do.  Someone in the CHP has been running a series of armored car robberies with black-and-whites and motorcycles, in broad daylight, to the tune of millions of dollars.  And that’s not all.  There was a suspicious suicide at one of the recent heists, which gives the guys their first promising lead.  The questions are: who in the department is involved?  Who knows what’s going on and who doesn’t?  

Their investigation soon turns toward Ray Kurtz, played by Vincent D’Onofrio.  Whether or not he proves to be one of the cops they’re after, no one denies that Kurtz is one scary dude.

As D’Onofrio sees it, “Kurtz has been around a long time and he’s a bit of a hardass, but he’s also a really good cop and I think everyone on his team respects him.  He’s in a tough situation and he has to get out of it.  Whenever I play characters like this, I don’t play them necessarily as good guys or bad guys but just people. I feel for his situation and the difficult things he has to do, to get what he needs done, and that’s his part of the story.

“He has a problem with Ponch right away, and goes after him,” D’Onofrio goes on to reveal, “but there are also moments of lightness where they’re talking back and forth and it’s just crazy and funny.  We did different versions, from super funny to serious, because my character has issues and you don’t know what’s going to work and how far you can go.”

As Jon and Ponch dig deeper into the case and find new ways to run afoul of Kurtz, they also catch the attention of officers Ava Perez and Lindsey Taylor—played by Rosa Salazar and Jessica McNamee.  Lindsey calls Ponch for herself, while Ava sets her sights on fellow bike enthusiast Jon.  At least that’s what he thinks when she invites him on an off-road excursion.    

Extenuating circumstances would never stand between Ponch and a hot date, but with Jon it’s more complicated.  At the first hint of Ava’s interest, he launches into full disclosure.  Says Salazar, “It’s touching that he wants to repair his marriage and says so.  He’s like an open wound, vulnerable, but in a nice way.  Ava likes that, and she’s obviously attracted to him but she’s a brass-tacks type of woman, very straightforward and real, and what she actually says is, ‘Get over yourself.  I just asked you to go for a ride.’”

“It’s important that Ava have the upper hand on Jon at all times,” Shepard comments.  “She’s witty and sarcastic, cool and tough.  She loves motorcycles and she loves being a cop.  I worked with Rosa on ‘Parenthood’ and she’s wonderful.  She brings great ideas to the table.”  

On reading the script, Salazar recalls, “It was the funniest thing I’d read in forever but that’s not surprising because Dax is the funniest guy you’ll ever meet.”  About the action, she thought, “I’m gonna get so hurt on this movie.  I’m going to be jumping over barriers and there’s fire, and fights, and helicopters.  But I love action-comedy and Dax assured me it would all be safe and it really was a blast.”

Ponch, meanwhile, heats things up with Lindsey.  “I get to kick ass and chase bad guys around,” McNamee says. “The relationship Lindsey strikes up with Ponch is kind of unlikely and unexpected, so it’s cool to play into all of that.  Jon and Ponch certainly come in and shake things up.  I think for Ava and Lindsey there’s a kind of ‘fresh meat’ instinct to it, but they also find them endearing and charming in their own odd little ways.’”

Throughout all of this, Ponch touches base with his former FBI colleague turned bureau contact Clay Allen.  Supposedly calling the shots on the case, Allen mostly ends up eating Ponch’s dust after arriving five minutes late to the party every time.  It’s a role based largely on “anger and indignation,” observes Adam Brody.  “When Allen and Castillo—now Ponch—were working together in Miami, things went south.  Ponch shot a suspect through Allen’s shoulder and he’s still mad about it.  He feels that wasn’t necessary.”

Shepard credits Brody’s expressions and keen timing for elevating the role beyond his expectations. “He’s just so funny and so quick—anything you throw at him, he will say it in such a way that immediately makes it twice as entertaining.”   

Adds Brody, “At first, it looked like the part was mostly playing straight man for Ponch, but when I arrived on set it was, no, what they want is for Allen to be an idiot.  And I really liked that, because I love playing an idiot.”

“Dax’s dialogue is amazing, so we had all these well drawn characters on the page,” says Panay, “but what we looked for in assembling this fantastic cast were actors who could also push the comedy in their own way.  Dax likes everyone to open up and swing big.”

Also suiting up for the “CHIPS” cast is Isiah Whitlock Jr. as Ponch’s FBI boss, Peterson, who runs the gamut from disgusted and ticked off to full-on apoplectic.  But he still manages to find laughs in anything that puts his least-favorite employee on the hot seat. Jane Kazcmarek is Ponch’s supervisor Captain Lindel, a woman with a shockingly relaxed sense of protocol; Richard T. Jones is officer Parish, the wrong man with whom to pick a fight; David Koechner is Pat, a wrestling trainer who doesn’t appreciate Jon’s unconventional technique; and actor/environmental activist Ed Begley Jr. takes an ironic turn in the unlikeliest role his fans could imagine, for reasons that will be obvious the instant he speeds into frame … in a Ferrari.  

Kristen Bell dives into the role of Jon Baker’s carefree ex, Karen, the undeserving object of his self-improvement efforts. Marking her fourth big-screen collaboration with Shepard, Bell says, “Karen needs to be the person audiences don’t want for Jon.  They should be shouting, ‘No, don’t do it!’  Karen is vain and all about appearances, and she thinks she’s the ultimate prize.  Things started going south in their marriage the day he stopped placing first in his events.  That’s the kind of person she is.  

“Dax almost didn’t cast me,” Bell contiues.  “After he wrote the role, he sat me down and said, ‘I’m not positive you can be as unlikable as I need you to be for this,’ which I took both as a compliment and an insult,” she laughs.  “Because I can be very unlikable.”  

SETTING EACH OTHER RIGHT

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

To boost the level of action on “CHIPS,” from bridges to bathtubs, Shepard reunited with renowned stunt performer Steve De Castro.  De Castro, who first served as stunt coordinator for him on “Hit & Run,” enlisted pros as well as the best stunt riders to execute the trickiest and most spectacular maneuvers.  Also on board were special effects coordinator Larz Anderson, production designer Maher Ahmad, and cinematographer Mitchell Amundsen.

“With Mitch, you get kinetic action; the camera is always moving.  He’s a cowboy,” says Ravi Mehta, who had worked with Amundsen and knew he would be a good fit.  “Selecting key department heads is just like casting, you have to put the right pieces together.”

“He shot a ‘Bourne,’ he shot ‘Mission Impossible’ and ‘Transformers,’” Shepard offers in short, “so this is a guy who’s been in that pursuit vehicle and operating a crane for hundreds of hours.  I had a very accomplished team all around.  We were in very good hands.”  

Shepard kept the action as real as possible.  “That was our whole approach.  The most we did digitally was to swap out a bike, so generally if you see something happening on screen, it happened,” he confirms.  “Everything the motorcycles do in this movie was actually done by someone.  And as much as I could put myself or Michael into it, I would.  For example, we got Michael to do his own burnout in a scene and it got a fantastic reaction from him.”

The film opens with a bank robbery, shootout and pursuit through the crowded streets of Long Beach, which doubled for Ponch’s home town of Miami.  In the driver’s seat of the lead car, Ponch makes no distinction between the road and the sidewalk.  For audiences, it’s an intro to the ride they are embarking on, and to Ponch a sign of things to come, as this chase is the prelude to a bigger and crazier one set in Los Angeles.   

The L.A. sequence begins with Jon and Ponch after a suspect in a residential neighborhood that opens onto city streets, then takes them up and down a parking structure, across the beach and into the L.A. river basin before culminating on Downtown’s 4th Street Bridge.  There, all hell breaks loose with cars and motorcycles, a helicopter, a SWAT Humvee, a motorhome in the wrong place at the wrong time and yes, even a bicycle cop.  

De Castro outlines one of this scene’s key beats: “We had 100 stunt performers and extras on the beach, with bikes jumping into the sand, going through volleyball nets and heading up a sand dune.  As Jon and the bad guy hit the berm, the bad guy is in front and spins a 180 in mid air, then shoots at Jon’s leg.  That’s X-Games gold medalist Lance Coury.  It’s a 75-foot jump.  When you see the bike spin around it’s what they call a turndown, but he’s doing it one-handed, which he’d never done before.  Then following him over the gap is Dave Castillo, an AMA pro rider who won the Motocross 500.  For them to jump 75 feet and so close to each other, with Lance turning the bike 180 degrees, it’s just incredible.”

Production closed the 4th Street Bridge for the melee and mash-up between the Hummer and the bulky motorhome. “Dax wanted to do it practically so we drove a stock H1 Hummer straight through a stock RV at 45 miles an hour,” De Castro states.

Shepard attests, “It was crazy.  I’ve lived in L.A. for 20 years and I’ve driven across that bridge a thousand times, and to have it as a playground for two straight days to demolish motorhomes and crash motorcycles was pretty amazing.  There were many times when I thought, ‘I can’t believe we are allowed to do this.’  We owned a whole exit off the 210 Freeway to blow up a propane tank with helicopters circling and a fireball nine stories high. There are actual cops watching you peel out and do donuts and they’re giving you the thumbs up, which is not a side of law enforcement you usually get to see.”

Bike action being a huge component of the story, the filmmakers needed equipment to support it in style.  Shepard used a range of brands and models, some stock and some custom, including what he calls “a smattering of Harleys and the big BMW snowmobiles,” like the BMW RT1200 standard police models.  For D’Onofrio’s ride, he worked with Harley Davidson to design a custom Electra Glide that, Shepard says, “shoots six foot blue flames out the back and has titanium pegs that shower sparks.”  

Primarily the film featured one of the director’s personal favorites: Ducati, and in particular the Ducati Hypermotard, a versatile and durable model which became Jon and Ponch’s updated “hero” bikes.  “Every time we’re jumping, sliding, drifting, stoppie’ing or free endo’ing them, they were all stock Ducatis,” he says, in the parlance of the initiated.  Even on the beach, the Hypermotards served, with modified knobby tires in front and paddles in back, while retaining their signature look and sound.

De Castro comments, “Michael Peña had just started riding and he did a great job, and Vincent D’Onofrio hadn’t ridden a bike for maybe 20 years but he hopped right back on and we got the shots we needed.”  As for Dax, “He would have made an excellent stunt guy.  He’s a high-level rider on both street and dirt, so it was a great position for me to be in.  I could say, "Hey Dax, I need you to come in faster, I need you to come in hotter.  I'm gonna put the camera here and we're gonna counter with you,’ and still we know everyone would be safe and it would look amazing.”  

Even so, Shepard admits feeling humbled alongside the pro talent, including his double, Joe Dryden, a pioneer of the street bike freestyle.  “Before I started this movie I thought I was really great at riding motorcycles, I would have given myself a 9.  And now that I’ve seen some of the best riders in the world I feel a little weak,” he allows.

“There were a couple of times when Dax wanted to do a stunt but De Castro said, ‘No, you’re not doing that,’” adds Peña.  “That’s Steve’s job.  He makes it fun but safe.  But with a film like this, you really get psyched up to be part of the action.”

Stunt riders also took cameras directly into the fray not only with Pursuit vehicles, but with Covert Camera Bikes, electric motorcycles that can reach 100mph with cameras in front and back.  Perfect for tight situations and able to dolly as needed, they’re effective for bringing audiences into the moment.    

The stunt team worked closely with FX supervisor Anderson and production designer Ahmad, as sets were built and destroyed.  As the big chase segued into the confrontation on the bridge, Shepard gives kudos to “our special effects genius Larz for figuring out how to slide this massive 35-foot RV along the asphalt.  Larz designed a pneumatic cylinder to lift the back wheels.  It slides, then you flip a switch and it comes back up.”

Following the slide, Anderson picks up, “we switched it out for another motorhome that was pre-scored and loaded with a bunch of stuff, held together by nothing, so when it’s hit, it all goes flying.  Dax was great to work with.  He really knows what he wants and he’s open to other ideas that might embellish that—especially if it involves fire or explosions.”  Anderson had plenty of opportunity for that, including the challenge of safely igniting a propane truck alongside a hillside full of brush, for which he made a tank out of foam.  Later, as a truck slams into Ponch’s bike and drags it down the road, he created a literal trail of fire.  

Anderson’s handiwork also appears in one of the film’s major set pieces, a warehouse compound north of Los Angeles near a popular biking site of canyons and valleys known as The Devil’s Punchbowl.  It was the perfect setting for the final showdown involving a variety of vehicles, gunplay and hand-to-hand takedowns, all of which leads to a massive explosion.  

The filmmakers found a property of several acres of desert land, housing a private home, barn and outbuildings that would add peripherally to the set. Says production designer Ahmad, “It had everything we needed except the main building, the warehouse, so I found a spot Dax liked and we built the whole thing from scratch.  Given that the building was for the big finale and needed to be blown up, set on fire and driven through, it was a virtual certainty we would have to build it.  It was about 50 by 100 feet, 25 feet tall, with dozens of windows. We poured a concrete floor.  Then we dressed the inside with old cars and junk, and there was enough space outside to build the wall for the bikes to go over.”  

“Maher is brilliant,” Shepard proclaims.  “I’d show up to sets and they’d be five times better than I even dreamt when I was writing it.  If we had a fight scene, I’d ask, ‘What can I break in this room?’  And he’d say, “That’s breakable, that’s breakable, that chair, that desk, that table, that’s fake,’ and you’re like, ‘Oh my God, I can do anything in here.”

But for all the story’s high-octane action, one stunt audiences will not likely forget unfolds on a more intimate scale.  After a physically taxing day, Jon wakes up unable to move his wrecked body or reach his meds.  He needs a therapeutic soak and calls on a very reluctant Ponch for help getting into the tub.  

Ponch trips, catapulting his naked partner in the general vicinity of the bathtub.

“I had to get into pretty good shape for that, so I could do all my nude stuff on week one and then resume eating what I wanted for the rest of the shoot,” says Shepard with typical good humor.  “I had a harness and a cable, and I was on a ratchet, so, as soon as he lets go they hit the hammer and I just flew into the wall.  It also spun me, so I hit the wall and then went upside down into the tub, bare naked, in front of my crew that just met me two days before.”

“I remember a fair amount of laughter that day,” Peña confirms.  

The tub was made of rubber, as was the wall that absorbed Shepard’s impact. “The room had to be high enough for the stunt and FX guys to run a track up along the ceiling,” says Ahmad, who built the bedroom and bathroom comprising the guest house from an existing home’s dining and living rooms, with an eye toward allowing a straight line trajectory from the bed to the tub.

The designer modified numerous other practical locations, including the interior of a suburban home that gets trashed in a fight between Jon and Ponch and an officer who doesn’t appreciate their snooping.  But the set he had the most fun creating was the drug den.  

“It had to be filthy and disgusting,” he emphasizes. “The direction I got from Dax was that we couldn’t push it too far, and that’s what we did.  We laid down pre-grunge-ified linoleum to protect the existing wood floors.  Then we painted and did horrible things to the walls and brought awful furniture in, like stained mattresses.  The kitchen was all moldy and overgrown with loathsome stuff and rotten food, and we learned a lot about making kitty poop with modeling clay.  To accelerate its drying we put it into a microwave oven at the production office and one batch got away from us.  It set off the smoke detectors and we had to evacuate the building.  But it was the bathroom that just grossed everyone out.  It was completely sanitary and smelled fine but it looked awful.  I love it when a set elicits such an enthusiastic reaction from the crew.”

When Jon enters the house and is physically overcome by the stench, it’s a fair bet that members of the audience will be right there with him—their hands to their mouths.  

Another “CHIPS” location included the Cal Poly Pomona College’s south campus, for scenes set in the Police Academy locker room and gym.  The production also shot interiors and the parking lot of the active L.A. Central CHP Center, just south of downtown.

Finally, as a Valentine to locals, the production included a scene of Jon and Ponch at an Original Tommy’s burger stand—a Southern California institution—and not just any Tommy’s, but the one that started it all, at Rampart and Beverly Boulevards.  

Overall, Panay says, “Dax went for an authentic L.A. feel. This film was shot entirely on practical, Southern California locations.  We did build and augment some sets but we weren’t on soundstages and everything was right here, real and tangible.  Our location team found so many great spots to showcase the action and help make L.A. itself an essential part of the story.”

“What I like best about it is the old-school action, which we put together with a lot of love and I think consequently has a really good vibe,” says Shepard, “not to mention great explosions and amazing stunts, and a lot of comedy.  I hope every scene is as fun for audiences as it was for us, making it.”  

# # #

ABOUT THE CAST

DAX SHEPARD (Jon Baker / Director / Writer / Executive Producer) was born in 1975 in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. With both parents working in the automotive industry, his first love was cars. He graduated in 1993 from Walled Lake High School, and moved to California in 1995.  Shepard graduated magna cum laude from UCLA with a degree in Anthropology. While attending UCLA, he trained at The Groundlings Theater for improv and sketch comedy. After eight years of auditioning, Dax booked “Punk’d,” his first paid acting role.

Shepard’s notable film credits include “Without a Paddle,” “Idiocracy,” “Employee of the Month,” “Baby Mama,” “The Freebie,” "The Judge” and "This Is Where I Leave You.”  He also portrayed Crosby Braverman for six seasons on the hit NBC series "Parenthood."

Prior to “CHIPS,” Shepard wrote, directed and starred in two features films: “Hit & Run” and “Brother’s Justice.”  

MICHAEL PEÑA (Ponch / Executive Producer) has distinguished himself in Hollywood as an actor with a wide range of performances and has worked with an impressive roster of award-winning directors. Peña earned notable recognition for his performance in Paul Haggis’ provocative Oscar-winning film “Crash,” alongside Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon and Terrence Howard.   He garnered multiple Best Ensemble nominations for his performance as Daniel the locksmith, winning awards from the Screen Actors Guild and the Broadcast Film Critics Association for the cast’s performance.  In 2013, he was seen in the David O. Russell film “American Hustle,” which won a Golden Globe, as well as ensemble awards from the Screen Actors Guild and the Broadcast Film Critics.  It was also nominated for a BAFTA Award and an Academy Award.  In 2015, he was seen in two films to cross the $500 million mark; the heist film “Ant Man,” starring opposite Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas, and “The Martian,” opposite Matt Damon and Jessica Chastain.  “The Martian” premiered at the Toronto Film Festival and went on to win a Golden Globe, was named Top Film by the National Board of Review, and was nominated for a 2016 Academy Award.

He was most recently seen in “Collateral Beauty,” starring Will Smith, Edward Norton and Kate Winslet, and “War on Everyone,” opposite Alexander Skarsgård, which premiered at the 2016 Berlin Film Festival.

He can next be seen in “Horse Soldiers,” alongside Chris Hemsworth and Michael Shannon, and “A Wrinkle in Time,” opposite Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine. In addition, Peña will also lend his voice to the highly anticipated “The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie,” and “My Little Pony: The Movie.”

In 2014, Peña starred as civil rights leader and labor organizer Cesar Chavez in “Cesar Chavez,” directed by Diego Luna.  He was also seen in the drama “Graceland,” and in David Ayer’s “Fury,” with Brad Pitt and Shia LaBouf.  In 2012, he was seen in the critically acclaimed “End of Watch,” which premiered at the Toronto Film Festival. For his performance as Officer Zavala, Peña was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award and the film was recognized by the National Board of Review as one of the Top 10 Independent Films of the year.  

Peña has been seen in a range of films, including the independent “Everything Must Go,” alongside Will Ferrell and Rebecca Hall; “Gangster Squad,” opposite Sean Penn, Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling, and the animated feature “Turbo.”  His credits include “The Lucky Ones,” co-starring Rachel McAdams and Tim Robbins; Jody Hill’s comedy “Observe and Report,” with Seth Rogen; Robert Redford’s political drama “Lions for Lambs,” with Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep; and Werner Herzog and David Lynch’s psychological thriller “My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done,” with Michael Shannon, Willem Dafoe and Chloë Sevigny.

Peña’s other noteworthy credits consist of Oliver Stone’s “World Trade Center”; Clint Eastwood’s “Million Dollar Baby”; Matthew Ryan Hoge’s “The United States of Leland”; Gregor Jordan’s “Buffalo Soldiers”; Antoine Fuqua’s “Shooter”; Brett Ratner’s “Tower Heist”; and Alejandro González Iñárritu’s “Babel.”  

On television, Peña starred in the HBO film “Walkout,” based on the true story of a young Mexican-American high school teacher who helped stage a massive student walkout in the mid-1960s.  Peña received an Imagen Award for Best Actor for his performance.  He recently re-teamed with Danny McBride on the second season of HBO's “Eastbound and Down.”  He also appeared on the F/X drama “The Shield,” in its fourth season, as one of the central leads opposite Glenn Close and Anthony Anderson.  His other television credits include Steven Spielberg’s NBC series “Semper Fi.”

Raised in Chicago, Peña began acting when he beat out hundreds of others in an open call for a role in Peter Bogdanovich’s “To Sir, With Love 2,” starring Sidney Poitier.

ROSA SALAZAR (Ava Perez) was born in Washington, DC, and raised in Greenbelt, Maryland. Salazar’s upcoming film releases include “Maze Runner: The Death Cure” and “Alita: Battle Angel.”

Her past films include “Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials,” “The Divergent Series: Insurgent,” “Search Party” and “Night Owls,” amongst others.

ADAM BRODY (Clay Allen) is a dynamic young actor, who has crafted a distinguished career in film and television.

Brody recently starred in Crackle’s original drama series, “StartUp,” alongside Martin Freeman. He also starred alongside Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith in “Yoga Hosers,” directed by Kevin Smith. In addition, Brody wrapped production on the comedy “Big Bear,” opposite Pablo Schreiber, and will soon begin filming the thriller “The Wanting.”

Last year, Brody starred alongside Uzo Aduba and Maggie Grace in “Showing Roots,” a television movie set in 1977 about two women who try to integrate their small town amid rising racial tension. In addition, Brody was seen in “Sleeping with Other People” from producers Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, which starred Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis. In 2014, Brody starred in “Growing Up and Other Lies,” directed by Darren Grodsky and Danny Jacobs.  He was also seen in “Life Partners,” starring Leighton Meester and Gillian Jacobs; and “Think Like A Man Too,” alongside Kevin Hart, Gabrielle Union, Taraji P. Henson, Regina Hall and Meagan Good.  

His past film credits include “Revenge for Jolly!,” opposite Kristen Wiig, Elijah Wood, Oscar Isaac and Ryan Phillippe; David Talbert’s “Baggage Claim,” starring Paula Patton and Taye Diggs; “Some Girls,” adapted by Neil LaBute from his play of the same name; “Lovelace,” opposite Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard and James Franco; “Welcome to the Jungle,” directed by Rob Meltzer; “Double or Nothing,” a short film penned by Neil LaBute; “Damsels in Distress,” by writer/director Whit Stillman, with Greta Gerwig and Analeigh Tipton; “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World”, alongside Steve Carell and Kiera Knightley; “The Oranges,” directed by Julian Farino from Ian Helfer and Jay Reiss’ screenplay also starring Hugh Laurie, Catherine Keener, Alia Shawkat, Leighton Meester, Oliver Platt and Allison Janney; Jon Kasdan’s “In the Land of Women,” opposite Meg Ryan and Kristen Stewart; Wes Craven’s “Scream 4;” Kevin Smith’s “Cop Out;” Galt Niederhoffer’s “The Romantics;” Karyn Kusama’s “Jennifer’s Body,” written by Diablo Cody; Boaz Yakin’s “Death in Love,” with Josh Lucas, Lukas Haas, and Jacqueline Bisset; Gregg Araki’s “Smiley Face,” with Anna Faris; David Wain’s “The Ten;” Jason Reitman’s “Thank You For Smoking;” Gore Verbinski’s smash “The Ring;” and Doug Liman’s blockbuster “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” alongside Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Brody memorably starred as Seth Cohen on the popular television series “The O.C.,” directed in the pilot episode by Doug Liman. He also starred as Billy Jones in Neil LaBute’s romantic comedy series “Billy and Billie,” about two step-siblings trying to deal with their taboo romance. His television work also includes recurring roles on “The League,” “House of Lies,” “Burning Love,” “Once and Again” and “Gilmore Girls”; and standout guest turns on “Judging Amy,” “Family Law,” and “Smallville.”  

VINCENT D’ONOFRIO (Ray Kurtz) can currently be seen taking on the complex role of The Wizard in NBC’s “Emerald City,” the reimagining of “The Wizard of Oz.”  The 10-episode mini-series was directed by Tarsem Singh, with whom D’Onofrio worked previously on the science fiction noir film “The Cell,” opposite Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn. D’Onofrio also recently wrapped Eli Roth’s “Death Wish,” opposite Bruce Willis.

Last year, D’Onofrio starred in “The Magnificent Seven,” playing one of the seven gun slinging outlaws alongside Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and Ethan Hawke; as well as “In Dubious Battle,” based on John Steinbeck’s novel, directed by James Franco and featuring Bryan Cranston, Ed Harris and Selena Gomez.

2015 was also a busy year for D’Onofrio with the blockbuster success of “Jurassic World” and his critically acclaimed role of Wilson Fisk aka Kingpin in the Netflix series “Daredevil,” opposite Charlie Cox. He also starred in “Run All Night,” opposite Liam Neeson.  In 2014, D’Onofrio starred in “The Judge,” opposite Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall.

D’Onofrio was born in Brooklyn, New York, and grew up in Hawaii, Colorado and Florida.  He eventually returned to New York to study acting at the American Stanislavsky Theatre with Sharon Chatten of the Actors Studio.  While honing his craft, he appeared in several films at New York University and worked as a bouncer at dance clubs in the city.

In 1984, he became a full-fledged member of the American Stanislavsky Theatre, appearing in “The Petrified Forest,” “Of Mice and Men,” “Sexual Perversity in Chicago” and “The Indian Wants the Bronx.”  That same year, he made his Broadway debut in “Open Admissions.”  He recently starred off-Broadway in Sam Shepard’s “Tooth of Crime (Second Dance).”

D’Onofrio gained attention for his intense and compelling talent on the screen in 1987 with a haunting portrayal of an unstable Vietnam War recruit in Stanley Kubrick’s gritty “Full Metal Jacket.”  His other early film appearances include “Mystic Pizza,” and “Adventures in Babysitting.”  He also executive produced and portrayed 1960s counterculture icon Abbie Hoffman in the film “Steal This Movie,” opposite Janeane Garofalo.

His other film credits include “The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys,” opposite Jodie Foster; “The Salton Sea,” opposite Val Kilmer; “Imposter,” with Gary Sinise; “Chelsea Walls,” directed by Ethan Hawke; “Happy Accidents,” co-starring Marisa Tomei; Robert Altman’s “The Player”;  Joel Schumacher’s “Dying Young”; Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood”; Kathryn Bigelow’s “Strange Days,” opposite Ralph Fiennes and Angela Bassett; Harold Ramis’ “Stuart Saves His Family”; Barry Sonnenfeld’s “Men In Black,” opposite Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones; “The Thirteenth Floor,” opposite Craig Bierko; “The Whole Wide World,” which he produced and starred in, opposite Renée Zellweger; and Oliver Stone’s “JFK.” More recently, D’Onofrio appeared in “Escape Plan,” featuring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.  

D’Onofrio starred as Detective Robert Goren in over 100 episodes of the series “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.” He received an Emmy Award nomination in 1998 for his riveting guest appearance in the “Homicide: Life on the Street” episode “The Subway.” D’Onofrio directed, produced and starred in the short film “Five Minutes, Mr. Welles,” and recently appeared in the Academy Award-winning short “The New Tenants.”

KRISTEN BELL (Karen) currently stars as Eleanor Shellstrop in the NBC series “The Good Place,” with Ted Danson, which returns for a second season this fall. She was also most recently seen in “Bad Moms,” alongside Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, Jada Pinkett Smith, Annie Mumolo and Christina Applegate. She will return for the sequel, “Bad Mom’s Christmas,” to be released this November. She will also appear in “How to Be a Latin Lover,” alongside Rob Lowe and Salma Hayek, set for release on April 28, 2017.

Bell starred as Anna in the blockbuster animated feature “Frozen,” which has grossed more than $1.2 billion worldwide, making it the highest grossing animated film and the 9th highest grossing film of all time. Last year, she starred opposite Melissa McCarthy in Ben Falcone’s comedy “The Boss,” and was seen as Jeannie Van Der Hooven in the Showtime series “House of Lies,” opposite Don Cheadle, which wrapped its fifth and final season.  In 2014, she reprised her beloved title role in the film adaptation of “Veronica Mars," which raised $2 million on Kickstarter in less than eleven hours and broke the record at the time for the fastest project to reach $1 million and $2 million. Bell appeared in a guest-starring arc on NBC’s hit series “Parks & Recreation.” She also played the lead role in the independent film “The Lifeguard,” which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, as well as starring in and co-producing the comedy “Hit & Run,” written and directed by her husband, Dax Shepard.

Her other film credits include: “Movie 43,” “Some Girls,” “Writers,”  “Big Miracle,” “You Again,” “Burlesque,” “When in Rome,” “Couples Retreat,” “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Pulse,”  “Serious Moonlight” and David Mamet’s “Spartan.” Bell’s television credits include: “Veronica Mars,” “Unsupervised,” “Deadwood,” “Heroes” and “Party Down.”

Her Broadway credits include “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and “The Crucible,” opposite Liam Neeson and Laura Linney.  Her Off-Broadway credits include “Reefer Madness” and “A Little Night Music.”

JESSICA MCNAMEE (Lindsey Taylor) has become one of Hollywood’s most sought after and engaging talents. Since beginning her career in acting, she has fostered an impressive body of work that includes both film and television.

She will next be seen in the film “Battle of The Sexes,” opposite silver screen heavyweights Emma Stone and Steve Carell.  The film is slated to open this year.

McNamee recently wrapped production on director Jon Turteltaub’s film “Meg.” She will star opposite Jason Statham in the action packed sci-fi film, which is currently slated for a March 2018 release.

Additionally, McNamee was previously seen as the female lead on USA’s comedy series “Sirens,” starring opposite Michael Mosley and Kevin Bigley. Prior to that, she starred alongside Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum in Michael Sucsy’s “The Vow.” She made her feature film debut in Sean Byrne’s “The Loved Ones,” opposite Xavier Samuel. The film premiered at the 2009 Toronto Film Festival and received the Midnight Madness Cadillac People’s Choice Award. The film also screened as part of the Freak Me Out Pathway at the Sydney Film Festival.

McNamee is best known for her role as Sammy Rafter in the Australian television series “Packed to the Rafters.” In total, the television series has gained 31 Australian award nominations and taken home 13 wins.

ABOUT THE FILMMAKERS

DAX SHEPARD (Writer/Director/Executive Producer) – SEE CAST SECTION

ANDREW PANAY (Producer) – has an entertainment career which has spanned 20 years and his films have earned over $750 million in worldwide box office.  He has built a reputation as a premier feature film producer with an incredible talent for creating original ideas as well as cultivating strong talent relationships.  

Panay created and produced David Dobkin’s 2005 smash hit “Wedding Crashers,” starring Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Christopher Walken and Bradley Cooper.  The film was the highest grossing R‐rated comedy at the time.

In February of 2015, Panay produced “Hot Tub Time Machine 2,” the sequel to the hilarious 2010 hit “Hot Tub Time Machine.” Panay joined director Steve Pink in bringing an all-star cast to the screen, including Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clarke Duke, Adam Scott and Chevy Chase.  

While working at Relativity Media, Panay released the successful family adventure film “Earth to Echo,” based on an original story by Panay and Henry Gayden, written by Gayden and directed by Dave Green, involving a group of kids who follow a mysterious map on their phones, only to discover a tiny creature from another world.

Panay began his career as an executive,  developing the highly successful teen romantic comedy “She’s All That,” starring Rachel Leigh Cook and Freddie Prinze Jr., and the inspiring drama “Pay It Forward,” starring Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osment, based on the bestselling novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde.

Panay co-produced the beloved romantic comedy “Serendipity,” starring John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale, Jeremy Piven and Bridget   Moynahan. Additionally, Panay created and produced the successful teen campus comedy “Van Wilder,” starring Ryan Reynolds and Tara Reid.

RAVI MEHTA (Executive Producer) is an Executive Vice President of Physical Production for Warner Bros. Pictures. He was the executive in charge of films such as “American Sniper,” “Live by Night,” “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” and “The Accountant.” He is currently producing “A Star is Born,” starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga.

He most recently served as a producer on “Unforgettable,” starring Rosario Dawson and Katherine Heigl, opening April 21st, and “Grudge Match,” starring Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone.  He also was an executive producer on “Get Hard” and “The Lucky One.”  Mehta began his career at Warner Bros. as a production accountant on films such as “Training Day” and “Romeo Must Die.”

ROBERT J. DOHRMANN (Executive Producer) began his career in the ‘90s in live TV, reality TV, commercial and documentary production.  He established commercial house Mad Molly Productions in 1996, recognized with Clio and Cine Lion awards and nominations for several public service announcement campaigns.  

In the early 2000s, Dohrmann pivoted to feature production, first as a production coordinator and then production supervisor, on such successful projects as “Man On Fire” and “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” as well as the multiple award winners “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Thank You For Smoking.”  

Dohrmann made the jump to line producing in 2007 for the critically acclaimed “Sunshine Cleaning,” and has produced and/or managed features ever since, including creative and popular hit projects “10 Cloverfield Lane,” “Get Hard,” “2 Guns,” “Lovelace,” “The Lucky One” and “Jeff Who Lives At Home.”  Bob lives in Los Angeles with his wife Kathleen and their two wonderful children. Dohrmann is a southern California native and UCLA alumnus.

NATE TUCK (Executive Producer) is a producer who has built his career in feature films, branded content, commercials and music videos.  His films have been nominated and have won awards, including two nominations at the 2012 Independent Spirit Awards for “The Dynamiter.”

The path to “CHIPS” started over a decade ago while Tuck and his long-time best friend Dax Shepard were shooting short films for the sole purpose of making each other laugh.  In 2010, they released their experimental comedy with Tribeca Films, “Brother’s Justice,” which won the Comedy Vanguard Award at the Austin Film Festival.  

Based on the film’s success, Tuck and Shepard, with producer Andrew Panay, went on to create and produce the action-romantic-comedy “Hit & Run.” Released in 2012, the film starred Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper and Tom Arnold.

Dating back to his first independent film, “Hairshirt,” which sold to Lionsgate in 2001, Tuck has built his reputation in development, writing, production, financing and distribution as the go-to guy to get it done.

RICK ROSNER (Executive Producer) is the creator and executive producer of a wide-range of projects, including “CHiPs,” the television series that inspired the film.

His other credits as a creator, executive producer and producer include the TV series “240-Robert!” and “Lottery!” as well as the game shows “Just Men!” with Betty White; “Caesar’s Challenge”; “Personals”; “Phone Tag!”; and the iconic “Hollywood Squares.” He was also the creator of “The Paul Lynde Show.”

In addition, Rosner served as producer on such talk shows as “Steve Allen,” “Dave Garroway,” “Philbin’s People,” “The Della Reese Show,” and a producer of “The Mike Douglas Show.”

He was the executive producer of the Emmy-nominated “Warner Bros. Movies – a 50 Year Salute” and the executive producer/ writer of the TV movies: “Panic In The Skies!” “Sky Heist!” and the TNT reunion movie, “CHiPS ’99.”

Rosner served as Vice President of Variety Programs at NBC in the mid 70s and in a partnership with DIRECTV, Rosner also invented the CES Award winning portable satellite system SAT-GO!, which made the front page of the New York Times business section in 2007.

Since 1971, Rosner has been a Deputy in the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department.

MICHAEL PEÑA (Executive Producer) SEE CAST SECTION

MITCHELL AMUNDSEN (Director of Photography) most recently was the cinematographer on “Ride Along 2,” starring Ice Cube and Kevin Hart. His previous films as cinematographer include “Now You See Me,” “Red Dawn,” and “Premium Rush.”

Amundsen’s early credits include being a production assistant for Michael Apted on “First Born” and technician on Francis Ford Coppola’s “Rumble Fish” and “The Outsiders.” He worked assistant camera on Joel Coen’s “Raising Arizona” and was a focus puller on “the Glass Menagerie,” directed by Paul Newman, and  Michael Lehman’s “Heathers” and “Meet the Applegates.”  

He then became a camera operator, working on such films as Wolfgang Petersen’s “In the Line of Fire”; John Singleton’s Higher Learning,”; Nick Castle’s “Major Payne” and “Mr. Wrong”; Betty Thomas’ “Private Parts”; Richard Donner’s “Conspiracy Theory”; Ron Howard’s “Edtv”; Barry Sonnenfeld’s “Wild Wild West”; Billy Bob Thornton’s “All the Pretty Horses”; and Michael Bay’s “Armageddon.”

He subsequently rose to second unit director for Bay’s  “Pearl Harbor,” “Bad Boys II,” and “The Island”; Gore Verbinski’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”; Frank Marshall’s “Eight Below”; Gary Ross’ “Seabiscuit”; Paul Greengrass’ “The Bourne Supremacy”;  J.J. Abrams’ “Mission Impossible III”; and Brad Bird’s “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.”

MAHER AHMAD (Production Designer) was born in northeastern Pennsylvania and while in high school worked on stage crews for the local community theater, designing his first stage setting when he was 16.

He attended Northwestern University where he graduated with honors, and went on to receive a Master of Fine Arts in theater scene and lighting design from the same university. After teaching theater design in college for two years, Ahmad then worked as a professional theater set and lighting designer in the first wave of the what is termed “the Chicago theater renaissance,” designing well over 100 theater projects for Chicago theaters including the St. Nicholas, Organic, Victory Gardens, Goodman and many others.  His designs were nominated six times for Chicago’s Joseph Jefferson Award.

Ahmad credits his early theater design experiences and training as contributing greatly to the craft and skills he possesses now. He was hired one day by happenstance to be the local art director in a film that was shooting in Chicago, and from then on worked exclusively in film. He has over 80 film projects to his credit.

Ahmad moved from Chicago to New York and worked there on many features including “GoodFellas” and “Married to the Mob.” Among his many film credits are the period film “Gangster Squad,” with Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Josh Brolin, and Sean Penn; “The Hangover 3”; “Zombieland”; “The Guardian”; “Miss Congeniality 2”; ”Dodgeball”; “Holes”; “Get Hard” and “US Marshals.”  

On occasion, Ahmad lectures about design to film schools, and is a bibliophile with a collection of well over 20,000 books on art, architecture, film, design, technology, and other related subjects.

DAN LEBENTAL (Editor) has edited a wide variety of film and television projects.  He has worked with director Jon Favreau as the editor on the hit comedy “Elf,” “Zathura: A Space Adventure,” “Cowboys & Aliens” and the blockbuster hits “Iron Man” and “Iron Man 2.”

Lebental edited Peyton Reed’s films “Ant-Man” and “The Break-Up” as well as Albert and Allen Hughes’ “From Hell” and “Dead Presidents.”

His other film editing credits include “Thor: The Dark World,” “Couples Retreat” and the Chicago International Film Festival-nominated documentary “Art of Conflict.”

Lebantal worked with director Peter Berg on the 1998 comedy “Very Bad Things,” and then went on to work with him on the pilot for the 2000 television series, “Wonderland.” Lebental has worked as an editor on the pilots for such television shows as “Dinner for Five,” “In Case of Emergency,” “Revolution” and “About a Boy.”

DIANE CROOKE (Costume Designer) is a costume designer based in Los Angeles with extensive experience designing for film, television, print, and web.

Crooke’s career took off when she got the job as costume supervisor for the first three seasons of the hit NBC series “Friends.” From there, Crooke went on to supervise several projects, including six seasons on NBC’s “Crossing Jordan.” As a designer, Crooke spent five seasons designing NBC’s “Parenthood” before designing “Scream” for MTV.

Recently, Crooke has jumped into the feature world, and her work can also be seen in the upcoming film “All Star Weekend.”  

FIL EISLER (Composer) composes music that faithfully embodies both story and character. Known for his signature themes and creative execution, his work can be heard in a diverse range of films, including the 2016 hit comedy “How To Be Single,” starring Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson and the upcoming sci-fi/thriller feature “The Titan,” starring Sam Worthington and Taylor Schilling.

In addition, Eisler served as the primary composer for Sundance 2016’s poignant documentary, “Newtown.” He composed the main title theme and acted as music director for the documentary, organizing and leading an all-star line-up of over a dozen Hollywood composers who each donated a piece of music for the film. He was represented at this year’s Sundance Film Festival with Marti Noxon’s “To The Bone,” starring Lily Collins.

Eisler’s scores also continue to enliven the drama in some of TV’s most popular series.  Most notably, he composes for Fox’s hit drama series “Empire.” Other shows featuring Eisler’s music include Showtime's Emmy-winning “Shameless,” as well as Lifetime’s critically lauded series “UnREAL.” For four seasons, Eisler served as composer and conductor on the ABC drama “Revenge.”

In 2008, Eisler was among a select group of up-and-coming composers invited to the Sundance Film Composer's Lab, and in the years since, his projects have garnered critical acclaim on the film festival circuit and beyond. As part of his ongoing commitment to independent film, he returned to Sundance in 2011 with the Inupiaq-themed thriller “On the Ice,” scored the Sundance-backed documentary “Whatever It Takes” and Jonathan van Tulleken's BAFTA nominated thriller “Off Season.” Eisler won the Best Film Score Award for his work on Robbie Pickering's “Natural Selection” at the 2011 SXSW Film Festival. The film was the most decorated of the festival, also winning the Grand Jury and Audience Awards. He continued his work with Pickering on the 2015 Sony feature “Freaks of Nature.”

[voiceactinguk]

THE DETECTIVE: Male and Female Voices Wanted For Action-Adventure Series!

Description I am looking to expand the cast of our pilot episode for a new action-adventure series called The Detective produced entirely using LEGO characters, sets, and models, and was hoping that you lovely people might be able to help. This project is still in the early stages. We hope to start shooting the pilot episode within the next month or two, but before that can happen we need to give all the characters a voice! So if you have a good quality recording setup and the desire to get involved with something a bit different, this is the project for you! If the pilot episode is a success, we would love to make a full series of The Detective. The series would follow the adventures of mega-rich film star Jason Winchester, who also happens to be a secret agent with an impressive array of vehicles and technology for taking down international criminals and ne'er-do-wells! He is supported by an ultra-intelligent computer known as The Investigator, whom he affectionately refers to as Invi. When he isn't busy saving the world, Jason is being hounded by his acting agent, Scarlett Winters - a southern belle who is sweet and determined in equal measure. Taking care of Jason's domestic life is his butler Gregory, who often struggles to keep up with the rigours of Jason's acting career, let alone his work as a secret agent. In the pilot episode, The Launch, Jason rescues the kidnapped commissioner of the Space Defence Organization. A top secret spy satellite is about to be launched and Jason suspects foul play. He attends the launching undercover and soon catches a saboteur in the act! I'm looking to pool this community's talents and am asking for auditions for all parts great and small. I'm looking for kind-hearted volunteers as this project is unpaid. If you are considering taking on a lead role, please keep in mind that if we make a full series of The Detective, this project could require your commitment for many months, if not years.  Leading Roles Jason Winchester - Male, British English or American Midwestern - Aged 20-40 Handsome, charming, and smooth talking, Jason is a secret agent who can talk himself out of any problem - but when that doesn't work he's also a man of action. Lines: [flying his jet at super sonic speeds to intercept the kidnappers] Invi, I have visual contact with the speed boat. Can you confirm that Commissioner Mason is on board? We wouldn’t want to interrupt a pleasure cruise… - [discussing a script with his agent, Scarlett Winters] But Mrs. Winters, one of the reasons I pay you to be my agent is so that you can read the prospective screenplays that come my way in advance, and whittle away the dead wood on my behalf. - [Jason has just discovered a bomb at the rocket launch site, and the saboteur, Charles Summers, is getting away] Invi! Charles Summers has attempted to plant a bomb at the launch site just before blast off. He’s escaped, but I’ve got the bomb. There’s a 5 minute countdown and a combination to shut it down. Help me deactivate it. - [After successfully completing his mission, Jason is being congratulated by the Space Defence Organization] I can’t reveal too many secrets Doctor Tyler, but let me tell you that I have a very talented Investigator at my disposal. She usually steers me in the right direction. - ______________________________________________________________________________ The Investigator (aka Invi) - Female, British English or American Midwestern - Aged 16-30 The voice of Jason's ultra-intelligent spy computer, capable of hacking any network or device on the planet. Invi is cool, calm and collected at all times with the odd burst of a sense of humour here and there. Effects would be added to the voice to make it sound computer-like, but for the most part I am looking for a natural delivery of the dialogue to give the role some personality. Lines: Congratulations on a successful mission, Mr. Winchester. - You really should get a safety harness fitted to that elevator, Mr. Winchester. - The Commissioner is the head of a top secret committee planning the launch of the CJ2 spy satellite at 0300 hours on September 2nd. - Nobody outside of the CJ2 committee knows who the other members of the committee are. Even I shouldn’t be able to access that information. There has been a security leak from the inside.  - [Jason has just found a bomb and needs Invi to help deactivate it.] There isn’t time Mr. Winchester. You couldn’t manually input all of the potential combinations before the detonation. Get the bomb as far away from the rocket site as you possibly can. - ______________________________________________________________________________ Scarlett Winters - Female, Southern U.S.A. - Aged 25-40 Scarlett is Jason's acting agent who remains oblivious to his work as a secret agent and is only interested in getting him starring film roles in Hollywood. Scarlett is a true lady - a southern belle with sophistication and beauty. She uses charm and flattery to get her way every time, and won't give up until she does.  Lines: [Scarlett has just been invited into Jason's home by his butler, Gregory.] Thank you Gregory my dear. Jason, you look simply divine. A picture of good health you surely are. - [Jason is asking for information about a new script but Scarlett just wants to make herself at home.] Yes, yes, all in good time. Gregory, darlin’, a sip of ice tea would be just the perfect thing to quench my thirst. Anything for you, Jason? - [Jason has just completed his mission, but Scarlett calls in the middle of the night about an exciting new film role.] Jason my dear, I’ve found you a part in a space movie. Harry Graham just pulled out at the eleventh hour and they need you on set first thing in the morning. The producer’s a very good friend of mine. Will you do it? ______________________________________________________________________________ Gregory Tillman - Male, British English - Aged 35-55 Gregory is Jason's long suffering butler. He's a man of impeccable manners, breeding, and training, but isn't afraid to expose his dry sense of humour, or is disapproval at his employer's behaviour. Lines: [Jason has just arrived home after a dangerous mission.] About bloody time, sir. [Jason tells him off for being vulgar] Apologies, sir. I received an urgent phone call from your agent, she’ll be paying a visit within the next hour. ______________________________________________________________________________ Guest Roles - These characters feature only in the pilot episode, but if you are a versatile voice actor we would love to have you back for a variety of new characters as the series goes on. Commissioner Mason - Male, British English or American - Aged 30-50 Head of the Space Defence Organization, the Commissioner doesn't take much nonsense, but has great respect for Jason Winchester. Lines: [Speaking to his kidnappers.] You’ll never get away with this. I’m pretty high up in the Space Defence Organization you know. People might just notice that I’ve gone missing.  - [Discussing the satellite launch with Jason.] We’ve had an urgent committee meeting. I’m sure by now you’re aware of my work on the CJ2. It was agreed almost unanimously that extra security precautions need to be taken when she’s launched into orbit. We need someone who can act with due discretion and be on the ground to ensure nothing goes wrong. - [Charles has just implied that the extra security hasn't turned up.] Look Charles, I know you were against the idea but I can assure you I’ve hired the best. That’s why you haven’t seen them. They’re undercover. ______________________________________________________________________________ Doctor Tyler - Male or Female, British English or American - Aged 20-50 A member of the Space Defence Organization committee. Lines: [Talking to Commissioner Mason about the satellite launch.] Yes, but where’s this extra security you were going to arrange? - [Congratulating Jason on a successful mission.] Surely you have a team of highly trained operatives on your side though? ______________________________________________________________________________ Launch Commander - Female, British English or American - Aged 20-50 The commander overseeing the launch of the satellite. Lines: [Preparing rocket for launch] Countdown, minus 17 minutes. Retract all fuel lines. - [An operative has just spotted an unauthorized aircraft on the radar] What are you talking about? - [Rocket countdown] 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Blast off. ______________________________________________________________________________ Carlson - Male, American - Aged 30-40 A tough criminal who has just kidnapped Commissioner Mason. Lines: [Threatening Mason with a gun.] Now I don’t want to have to use this Commissioner Mason. So you just sit tight while my buddy takes us to the hideout. If there’s any funny business just remember that I could have a bullet with your name on it. - [Getting impatient with his associate driving the boat.] Can’t you make this thing go any faster? - [Carlson has just been informed that they are approaching the hideout.] Good. Well Commissioner, it doesn’t look like the police are coming for you after all, does it? Once we get to the hideout we’ll take care of that tracking device of yours to make sure they never find you again. What do you have to say to that? ______________________________________________________________________________ Deadline: February 11th Email your submissions to: thedetectiveauditions@gmail.com When recording your auditions, start by introducing yourself (either with your name or your username), the character(s) you'll be auditioning for, and tell us one thing you love about being a voice actor. We want to get to know you! Feel free to audition for as many or as few roles as you would like. We want to hear from versatile voice artists so show us what you can do! Audio files sent via DropBox, Google Drive, WeTransfer, MediaFire, or as attachments are welcome! Good luck!  http://dlvr.it/QCJzGF www.voiceacting.space

[graphicpolicy]

Sometimes… you embrace your destiny. And sometimes… you and your trouble-making adopted brother find yourselves trapped in a scientific lab explosion that grants you $@&%ing awesome super-powers. As a result of their accident, Eric and Woody Henderson – aka Quantum and Woody – must “klang” their wristbands together every 24 hours or both dissipate into nothingness. Which makes superhero-ing pretty awkward when you’re not on speaking terms at the moment. See, Eric has been keeping a pretty big secret: He knows who Woody’s birth father really is… and where he’s been hiding all these years.

Consider yourself warned…

This December the world’s worst superhero team return in the all new Quantum & Woody #1 written by Daniel Kibblesmith with art by Kano.

We got a chance to talk to Daniel about the new series as well as his writing for The Late Show and the difference between digital and print.

GP: How’d you become a writer, especially one focused on comedy?

Daniel Kibblesmith: Well, I always wrote and drew and generally made stuff. I wanted to be a filmmaker from an early age, and taught myself how to make claymation shorts on our family’s VHS camcorder. It wasn’t until I got to film school that I realized how the duties are divided up and that the writing was the part I cared about the most – plus, being on sets stressed me the hell out. When I was making short films, it was at the beginning of YouTube, and I figured out that no one really wanted to watch a three-minute drama, but they would totally check out a comedy sketch. I was naturally inclined toward comedy, so I committed. From there I took Second City classes, tried stand-up, and made friends in the comedy community, which eventually blossomed into this whole career-like object.

GP: You’ve previously written for Valiant, how’d you wind up on Quantum & Woody? How well did you know the characters coming on to the project?

DK: I knew them pretty well. Quantum and Woody was my entry point into Valiant, because I knew James Asmus a little bit from the comedy world, and I was told that you didn’t need to know anything about Valiant to get into Q&W. I loved them right away, especially in The Delinquents team-up series, so I’ve had my eye on Quantum and Woody for a while. They seemed like a good fit for another comedy/comics writer like me.

GP: Was it a bit of an adjustment to go from writing for things like the Late Show to writing for Valiant and comics in general?

DK: Not really, because I still do both every day. I compare it to playing different video games sometimes – both video games could require a lot of overlapping skills, like timing or coordination, but the headspace and rhythm you slide into could be really different between, say Mario Kart and Smash Bros. (Nintendo, I mentioned your intellectual properties, please send me a free Switch).

GP: For those who haven’t been introduced to the characters before, how would you describe Quantum and Woody?

DK: Quantum and Woody are “the world’s worst superheroes” -– two dysfunctional adopted brothers, one straight-laced black guy (Eric) and one reckless white guy (Woody), who become estranged in childhood and reunite to solve their scientist father’s murder. But while investigating his lab, they accidentally blow things up and get superpowers (Quantum makes force fields, Woody shoots explosive blasts), and also get two golden bracelets fused to their wrists that have to be KLANG’D together every 24 hours to re-stabilize their molecules and stop them from turning into energy. So no matter how angry they get at each other, they’re basically stuck with each other.

GP: What’s your process like when you sit down to write?

  DK: I don’t really have a set process outside of the Late Show office, where everything is driven by the schedule of producing that day’s show. It leaves me nights and weekends to carve out time to get actual pages written, but a lot of the breakthroughs are incidental, which won’t surprise anyone else who writes. I think most of my ideas for Quantum and Woody came to me in the shower at the gym or walking to and from work, when my wind can wander. It’s great for dialogue, because I just kind of let my mind go blank and imagine them bantering on an empty stage back and forth until I’ve got way, way more bickering than I can actually fit in word balloons.

GP: Quantum & Woody has a nice history with Valiant and the last few volumes have built off the madness of the previous. You reference some previous adventures but as a writer how do you balance the history with making the comic easy to pick up for new readers?

DK: Well, for one thing, the hook. You don’t really need to know who Quantum and Woody are to appreciate a buddy-action-comedy-superhero-family-drama. Also, “Quantum and Woody” is one of the most bizarre names you give a comic, which I think it one of the reasons it’s stuck around all these years. It leaps off the shelves at you like, “What the hell kind of name is Quantum and Woody and how are these black and white guys brothers?” And if you’ve heard anything about it, you probably know that it’s funny. So we worked really hard to make this a brand-new jumping on point for readers –  if they’ve heard of Quantum and Woody before but were just waiting for a new #1, or if they know my work from Twitter, or the Late Show, or the dumpster I scream my rejected jokes into at night.

GP: You’ve done all sorts of writing, print, television, comics. How does the fact you have visuals change how you might approach a joke?

DK: Comics and comedy both have something really important in common, which is timing. The most fun for me is using the visuals to tell the story in a way that it feels like it’s playing out before your eyes, and take advantage of those storytelling devices to land different kinds of jokes – like the interminable silence that’s implied by a grid of identical panels with no dialogue, or being able to use flashbacks or little insets to reveal people’s secret motivations and reactions. Now that I think about it, something like Arrested Development, with the narrator and all the jumping around in time and points of view, would’ve made a really funny comic book.

GP: You wrote the Valiant High comiXology Original comic. What’s the impact the digital aspect has on the story? Is the fact that is what you’re writing for impact how you approached the story? How does an ongoing print series differ from a digital one?

DK: It really makes me wish I’d learned where the ads are going to be. Some writers I really admire have a very conscious awareness of “left page, right page, reveal page, opposite facing pages, double-page spread,” and I didn’t teach myself any of that for Valiant High, because I was picturing it as one-page-at-a-time on an iPad with no screen-rotating. That doesn’t mean Quantum and Woody won’t have double page spreads in it, though. In fact, Issue #2 is all double page spreads. Unless Valiant says no.

GP: What’s the biggest difference between writing for comics versus television versus prose?

DK: For me, it’s the voice you’re writing for. At The Late Show, you’re writing for the rhythm and delivery of a late-night talk show host telling the story of today’s events, and what our country is going through, in a kind of shared POV that gets filtered through his own sensibility. In the comics, you’re telling a story through characters who have their own personalities and dialogue ticks, and are at odds with each other by design. It’s sort of like essay versus novel, but way more lowbrow and with more energy drink ads.

GP: Thanks so much for chatting and looking forward to the comic!

Check out a preview for the first issue below.

Daniel Kibblesmith Talks the Return of Quantum & Woody #comics @valiantcomics @kibblesmith Sometimes… you embrace your destiny. And sometimes… you and your trouble-making adopted brother find yourselves trapped in a scientific lab explosion that grants you $@&%ing awesome super-powers.

[buddieswhvre]

So there's this novel that I read "Kaleidoscope of death" and I can't stop imagining buddie in that universe. Basically Buck is a guy who is living the most mundane life someone could ever live, his long term girlfriend left him, he's no longer in touch with his sister and he is just trying to get through to everyday. Still he's alive and it's okay. He's about to go out with his friends when he sees 12 doors in his hallway. Confused he tries to open them but all of them are closed except one. He opens the one and he's shifted to a weird place he has never seen before. Scared, he tries his best to find the door from where he came when he finds a man. A man who is probably a few inches shorter than him but held a charisma that had Buck both intrigued and skeptical. The man who had shining brown eyes explains to him about the logic behind these doors and how this is his second chance at life and he needs to make it out alive to go back in his life. But can he really do it when almost every sinister thing is out there to kill them? And can he trust the man who awakens something in Buck, he thought he had lost long ago?

[buddieswhvre]

Okay everyone hear me out, imagine teen buddie where Buck absolutely hates Eddie's guts because be it anything, Eddie is always competing in the same and somehow he's better than him in all of them. It's as if Buck will only be the second best always below Eddie no matter how hard he tries. Finally he goes to college and just when he's sure that Eddie won't be able to one up him anymore, that's when he finds him, again. Buck is sure that the only feeling he'll have for Eddie is hate but what would happen if circumstances force them to stay more time with each other. And why does it feel like that maybe Eddie actually doesn't hate him and on the contrary might like him??

(loosely based on the series We best love: No. 1 for you)

[buddieswhvre]

Has anyone seen/read Spyxfamily? Because right now I'm thinking about Eddie as Loid Forger, Buck as Yor Forger and Christopher as Anya Forger?! I have a vague outline in my mind and now I can't stop thinking about it

[buddieswhvre]

TEASE TIDBIT TUESDAY

A buddie wip inspired by the movie "The Hating Game"

Buck was peacefully lying on his bed almost about to drift in the dreamland when a warm, confident hand raked up his body, while slowly ravishing his legs. The hands moved towards his thighs, lingering for a while before finding its new prey. Teasing touches, slowly turned into something a bit more primal with just a hint of tenderness in them. This was torture. Buck just wanted those hands to speed up, to do something, anything, rather than staying on his ass while tenderly stroking with his thumb.

His wishes were soon granted when hot breath fell on the nape of his neck slowly teasing him as the man's lips ghosted over his ears.

"You like it, Buckley?"

"Eddie!" Buck sat with a jerk only to find himself on the bed with no one around.

Did he just have a sex dream and that too of Eddie of all people? The same Eddie who acted like he owned the whole damn place? The same Eddie who was the bane of Buck's existence with his annoyingly good looks and that stupid smirk that he liked to flash every time he proved Buck wrong? The same Eddie who Buck was forced to work with ever since the merger? Ugh this was definitely going to be a problem.