#alastair darling

[britishtophatwithlondon]

[tony-blair-erotica]

Finally at peace in the great Northern Rock in the sky: Alastair Darling (1953-2023)

P.s: I have a great picture of Brezhnev in his underwear but you’ll have to ask me nicely to see it x

[kennethbrangh]

RUTGER HAUER and ALASTAIR DUNCAN in Split Second (1992)

[angstintensifer]

Eah ships as Taylor Swift lyrics

Tags x @athena-xox @certifiedl0serloll @swxxtcidxr @faybellesbeauty @gumjester @mirrornetsblog @smileyfacemojisworld @selina2288 @dumbdolphin333 @direwolfrules @folksyfairy @forsakenostalgia @zvmz @dani9539 @raptorfae53 @shrekanie @mssagittarius @andromedavwrites

I hope you all enjoy, I added my fav ships x

[panelshowsource]

thank you for providing so many gifs!! I am here to yell about Richard Osman’s horse girl writing because now I look forward to The Rich List and laugh every time. I wish it was played more if only to see his penmanship

you know what, in celebration of RICHARD OSMAN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY let's enjoy some of his lovely christian horse girl handwriting<3

happy birthday king! you OWN the swirly a and cutely dotted i

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

AS FAST AS YOU CAN

KINKTOBER DAY 24 - OUTDOOR SEX WITH TOMMY SHELBY

Pairing.| Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Summary.| Your husband likes to play games to keep your marriage exciting. When you oppose against his wants, he thinks a game of predator and prey can soothe your disputes.

Warnings.| Noncon, dubcon, predator and prey, outdoor sex, p in v, rough sex, breeding kink, postnatal depression, implied lactating kink, tommy's a dick lol.

Word count.| 2.7k

Notes.| This may have been my favourite to write, Tommy just screams predator and prey.

It was just another fun game for the happy couple. A way to keep the spark of adrenaline, excitement and desire for each other. To your husband, this was considered intimacy. The casual sex could get repetitive for him, don’t get Tommy wrong, he loved your body, worshiped it at every opportunity he got. But he wanted to feel alive with you, take every opportunity possible to explore new pleasures with you. To keep the sparkle of rigorousness in your marriage. 

Tommy Shelby was a sadist, your hand was forced into marriage and then you were sentenced with baring his children. You loved your two sons, Alastair and Henry, but feared them living cursed lives. You had heard so many malediction tales of the Shelby name. They were still babies, Alstair only turning one a month ago. Many nights you considered packing your bags and running away with your sons, but feared your husband’s wrath if you ever got caught. 

Only eight weeks postnatal, Tommy was pushing you for another, but you were far too resistant this time. The way your expression soured and lips wobbled as you began to express how you needed to wait, your body needed to properly heal from your first pregnancy. Your body was weak, you were ruined by the issues of bearing children. You needed a break after having one child after the other. To what he was quite aggressive over your resistance, he found himself rather content at the situation, an idea sprouting in his mind. 

On this cold, misty day at Arrow House, Tommy thought it was the perfect environment for another intimate activity between you both. It was hunting season, and what better than a game of predator and prey. But in reality, he wanted to torment you in ways you didn’t know were possible. Because no matter the terms and conditions of the game, it was always designed for him to win. 

“It’s a simple game darling, I desire another child, you do not” Tommy spoke confidently as you stood in front of the green field. 

You rubbed your shoulders in the cold gentle wind. It was foggy, the forest almost hidden in the distance. With a congested sniff of your nose, you looked up to your husband who was dressed appropriately for a hunting session, the rifle included. 

“If you can reach the main road through the woods before I catch you, I won’t impregnate you until you’re ready, I promise” Tommy explained, closing the distance between you with a wicked grin on his lips. 

“Then what’s the gun for!” you exclaimed, your body trembling as you watched his hands tighten around the weapon. 

“It’s just a prop my love! It’s hunting season! I’m just getting into the spirit, a predator eager to catch his prey” Tommy snickered, nose running up your neck as he breathed in your scent. 

“Please Tommy! I’m tired…” you begged pathetically, your body slouching as you held onto your husband in hopes of a change of heart. 

With his grin, you knew your words meant nothing. His free hand slipped around your waist, right down to squeeze your ass. You whined, tightening your grip on him as you tried to force your tears back in. 

“Want me to fill you with my seed now then?” Tommy whispered darkly into your ear. 

The thought of being pregnant again weighed you down.  No, you couldn’t be a slave to the torture of pregnancy. The agony and melancholy it had rained over your body was too much to bear again. The sleepless nights had to end. Tommy thought it was best for the maids to stay out of the process. He only wanted you both to be their providers. He did help out here and there, but he often would pass on the duties to you and hold you from behind as you tried to calm your sons. That’s when he was even home, Tommy was business obsessed. Sometimes you’d get hopeful that he was never going to be coming home. Prayed for the news that he got caught in the crossfires, but you always heard the engine of his car roar when you were almost convinced. 

“Okay, okay” you complied, defeated. 

“Good! If you win I’ll do whatever you want tonight, even if that’s sitting in the corner of the room like a naughty boy” Tommy smirked, patting your behind harshly. 

He explained how you’d have a five minute head start and how it was approximately a mile and a half run. Your hope began to shatter at those stats, you had hardly walked that distance straight since your first pregnancy. When was the last time you had even ran?

“A kiss for good luck” Tommy murmured before passionately kissing you. 

As he counted down the seconds, you whimpered heavily, eyes darting around as you felt like a deer caught in headlights. You bolted as fast as you could, quickly heaving, your heart pounding against your ribs as you didn’t notice how tight your throat was closing in. It was cruel, you weren’t dressed appropriately for this, wearing a maroon dress that restricted the movements of your legs and tight shoes that were easily rubbing against your skin. All for his own advantage, as if your physical capabilities weren't already enough. 

It’ll forever be unknown if Tommy stood true to his word, you were too afraid to look back. The adrenaline removed the timer in your head as you quickly disappeared in between the trees. Tommy smirked to himself as he held his rifle to his chest and ran after you. 

Swaying side to side, your body struggled to remain composed. Your core temperature made the forest feel like a furnace. When you fell against the tree, you pant out to attempt to catch your breath. You dared to look back, the bushes and trees remained still as before. The mist clouded the distance, you were still free from him. But his voice tormented you, calling out his name, somehow echoing through every area of the taunting woods.

You wouldn’t be able to outrun him, that much you knew. However, you could trick him, have him chase the finish line rather than yourself. For he never set a mark on the road. You slipped into the nearest ditch of dirt, curling your body up against the curving wall of earth. When you heard his heavy footsteps snap at the twigs and crush the leaves, you clamped your hand over your heaving mouth. 

Tommy called out your name and you could already visualize the sinister smile on his lips. “My love, where do you hide?” Tommy teased, already knowing that you were near. 

His footsteps neared, you were sure he was standing right above you as you squeezed your eyes shut, paralyzed by fear. A ramble in the distance of an animal caught his attention. Tommy flared his nostrils and quickly his footsteps faded. When the woods were filled with silence again, you crawled out of the ditch and continued your journey. 

You were cautious, your eyes darting around from every direction as you often found yourself hunching close to the ground. Tears watered the soil as you struggled to keep your emotions under control. The blisters on your feet had already formed. Your body ached almost as badly as it did during childbirth, you needed to rest. Minutes quickly passed, you thought you were lost. But then, you could see the main road behind the trees. Just over fifty meters away from you. 

“My love! There you are!” Tommy’s voice boomed as he appeared out of thin air in the distance. There was this similar crazed look on his face, which never ended up in your favor as he held onto the rifle firmly. 

You shrieked and bolted for your life, not necessarily desiring the finish line, but only to get as far away as him as possible. Tommy guffawed your name as his brisk steps grew onto your tail. Fearfully, you cried out, your sounds of distress echoed throughout the forest.  

When Tommy lunged for your loose hair, he miscalculated the distance and missed, tripping over a root and crashing onto the dirt ground in the process. You dared to look back, but shamelessly found yourself grinning at his unfortunate tumble. He snarled out the dirt from his mouth, his head shot up as he saw you closing in on the finish line.

You smiled, you were going to win, finally. 

The gunshot made you fall to the ground a mere few meters away from the road. Your hands patted over your body, your blood pumping a mixture of adrenaline and shock. There were no wounds on your body and you dared to look back. 

Striding towards you like a beast, Tommy had a frightening look locked on underneath the specs of dirt. His knuckles were turning white around his rifle as he looked like he was ready to eat you alive. Thoughtlessly, you were scooting back over the dirt ground, heading straight towards the road. 

“Get over here, right now!” Tommy roared, a vein popping out of his forehead. 

“Tommy?” You whimpered, head darting back and forward from the road.

The road was only a meter away from you. Swiftly, Tommy aimed his rifle at you and you froze still. You gulped down the lump in your throat, lip wobbling.  

“Next shot goes through your leg my love” he warned with a grin. 

You whimpered his name once more as he towered over you. The rifle lowered to his side as he tilted his head towards you. As the rifle fell to the ground, Tommy pounced on top of you, pushing you flat onto your back. His nose inhaled your scent as he pressed his lips to your neck, you were frozen underneath him. 

“Mhmmm, I win” Tommy chuckled, his kisses running up to your face. 

Whining out, you shook your head viciously as you squirmed underneath him. “No! No! I was going to win!” You argued, your voice full of hurt.

“Should have walked the distance then!” Tommy cackled, his hands roughly roaming over your dress. 

“You threatened to shoot me! You said it was a prop!” You hissed. 

“I would never do such a thing! Not my fault you fell for it” he said smugly with a roll of the shoulders, his brute hands massaging your swollen breasts. 

A wave of pure anger crashed over you. Before you could even process it, you punched him in the jaw. His hand snapped to the side and he remained still. The redness on his pale skin quickly grew. Within a blink of the eye, Tommy maneuvered you onto your stomach, your acts of resistance always felt like a mouse battling a cat. You yelped out in pain as he twisted your arms behind your back. 

“Please Tommy! I don’t know what I was thinking!” You shrieked, blabbering at the feeling of his heavy bulge poking against your ass. 

“That’s exactly right… You shouldn’t be thinking at all…” Tommy whispered into your ear as he slowly freed his throbbing cock. 

“No-no, please” you squeaked out, close to hyperventilation.  

But it was pointless, Tommy had won yet again and was too eager not to gloat his win. For if a wolf were to catch a deer, would he take it home before devouring it? Your dress was scrunched up and you gasped as the cold air teased your skin. With a swift movement, he shoved his thick member into your entrance. You grumbled out in pain, Tommy shoved your face into the dirt as he pounded himself inside of you. 

“Your mind will go perfectly blank again when you’ve been bred, I miss the way you’d stare blankly out the window” Tommy sighed in satisfaction as your body went limp below him. 

“Tommy please! Another month! Just give me another month!” You cried out, your body trembled on the ground. 

“Darling, it’s easier if we just get it out of the way now…” Tommy moaned quietly as his arm slipped down to your clit.

The way your walls would squeeze his length made you feel sick in times like these. It fueled his beliefs that you enjoyed his sick and twisted games of his. He held up your hips, balls slapped against your sensitive flesh, animalistic grunts left his lips. You mewled out his name. 

“Quiet my little wife, quiet” Tommy ordered, his eyes rolling back. “You stress yourself out too much, let me do everything, let me take care of you” he explained as he leant down to kiss your heated cheek. 

Tommy coached you to keep on squeezing him, just how he liked it as he rutted into you. In return, he hit your sweet spot over and over again. Quickly, your eyes rolled back as you whimpered out in pleasure, back arched and cunt squeezing as tightly as possible. Tommy groaned out, his movement’s suddenly stilling as he shot his seed deep inside of you. Tommy gleefully smiled out, it had felt like an eternity since he came inside of you. 

As you panted out, ears blocked and sight still blurry, you realized Tommy was talking to you. 

“A little baby girl, doesn’t that sound nice?” Tommy asked softly, his cock still buried deep inside of you. 

“A girl” you smiled weakly, mind still dazed from your post orgasm state. 

“Yeah… A girl, she’d be as beautiful as you, eh?” he complimented, his hand rubbed over your lower back as he slipped his size out of your dripping hole. 

“No” you mumbled. 

“No?” 

“I’m not beau-” 

Your body is flipped back over. Tommy glared down at you as he read your pained expression behind the dirt. Quietly, he tutted at you as he shook his head. 

“Fuck, I’m really going to have to fuck these stupid thoughts out of your head, ain’t I?” Tommy cooed as he found his cock twitching in the cold air. 

“Look at me Tommy” you whimpered, eyes swelling up as you looked down at your body. Disgust washed over you, you felt sticky, as if you were covered in grease. 

“I am my love, you’re emotional over nothing, just calm down and feel me okay? My poor wife, you have that sadness don’t you?” Tommy soothed you in a condescending yet comforting tone. You murmured out his name, your arms snaking around his back to pull him closer to you. Gradually, Tommy slipped himself back into your sore walls, you mumbled out but showed no resistance. “Shush… I’ll fix you, just squeeze my cock for now, that’s all you have to think about” Tommy smiled softly, his pace picking up. 

“Tommy, I-I” you moaned, eyes fluttered and lips spread open. 

“Show me how badly you want to be bred”  Tommy grunted out, his nostrils flared and hips pistoning in and out of you. Naturally, your walls firmly tightened around his member. Tommy’s body craved yours so badly, it was torture having to wait for you to heal. Many times he wanted to devour you completely. Take your mouth or backside to relive his desire, but he wasn’t cruel like you claimed him to be. “Oh fuck, fuck… Missed your warmth so fucking bad…” Tommy almost whined out as he felt his balls begin to tighten. “Yeah, that’s it…” Tommy moaned, his eyes rolled back as he came inside of you for a second time. 

He collapsed on top of you, his face buried into the crook of your name as he murmured your name. Tommy held you tightly as you silently wept, the realization crashing down on you intensely. Eventually, Tommy slid out his softening dick and slipped himself back into his pants. 

“Tommy it’s cold” you sniffled as he stood up and brushed off his face and clothing. 

Tommy sighed as he helped you up, he brushed the dirt off of yourself and patted your cheek softly. As you rubbed your arms, your shoulders curled in, Tommy slipped off his coat and placed it over your shoulders. 

“There you go my little wife” Tommy smiled and gave you a peck on the lips as he tugged the coat straight. “Come on, the boys must be hungry, I sure am” Tommy grinned, his hands tracing over the outline of your breasts as he licked his lips.

[mikrokosmcs]

A  Alastair  no  dejaba  de  sorprenderle  como  Silas  y  Evander  siempre  hablaban  con  madurez  de  temas  fuertes,  demostrando  la  razón  del  porque  son  criaturas  que  han  vivido  mucho  más  que  los  demás  y  tienen  una  visión  diferente.  -  —Por  eso  me  gusta  hablar  contigo,  me  haces  sentir  bien  siempre  —  -no  le  gustaría  decirle  que,  como  un  hermano  mayor,  porque  a  un  hermano  no  se  le  besaba  como  ahora  buscaba  de  nuevo  esa  boca  y  esos  labios  anchos,  metiendo  su  lengua  en  la  cavidad  y  cayendo  de  nuevo  en  la  bañera.  -  —Vaya  manera  aburrida  que  tienes  para  pedirme  matrimonio,  lo  negaré  porque  puedes  hacerlo  mejor  Evander  —  -comenta,  tomando  el  cintillo  que  mantenía  el  kimono  en  su  lugar,  abriéndolo  para  desvelar  desnudez  perfecta  y  un  cuerpo  cincelado  y  trabajado,  sus  manos  yéndose  a  la  cintura  del  otro  para  hacerlo  entrar  en  la  tina  y  empujarlo  en  contra  de  la  pared  de  esta,  reclamando  de  nuevo  su  boca.  -  —Déjame  tomarte  hoy,  sé  mi  trofeo. 

Evander ríe cuando escucha lo petulante y estresado que sonaba Alastair al mencionar a Apollo, un alfa encantador y con grandes modales, pero que carecía de lo feroz de su hermano omega. ❝ No seas puritano Alastair, tu mejor que nadie, sabes que la vida y la muerte son cosas naturales y tu celebras la muerte día con día ❞ Si sus pirámides y todos los muertos enterrados en ellas, no hablasen por él. Evander deja salir el dulce aroma de la sakura cuando nota como los brazos del otro pueden todo su peso, capturando los labios del otro en un beso mucho más profundo y muerde el labio inferior. ❝ ¿Quieres casarte conmigo, Rey del Sol? ❞ No le importaría, Alastair es un omega fuerte, podría tener sus cachorros si algún día quisieran tenerlos. Evander disfruta más estar debajo de él, ser sometido por esos brazos y esa personalidad, pero si debe cumplir su labor como alfa lo haría. ❝ Pero siento y percibo, que tu destino es alguien diferente a mí, Alastair. Todas las puertas, de todos los mundos, se abrirán para ti. ❞

[fayes-fics]

The Wonderful Unexpected: Chapter 3

Masterpost PREV | NEXT

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader (future chapters), Modern AU

Chapter Summary: Boxing Day with the Bridgertons.

Warnings: not much, really… brief mentions of parental deaths.

Word Count: 3.0k

Author’s Note: The Bridgertons rope reader into their Boxing Day plans. For those wondering, Benedict turns up next chapter :) Please see the masterpost for a synopsis. Thank you to @colettebronte for beta reading. Enjoy! <3

As you go to leave Anthony’s hospital room, his family are all arriving again.

“Y/n! Hi! We didn't know you were here,” Violet bustles up to you and gives you a quick hug, already treating you like one of the family. “Were you here all night?” She doesn't wait for your answer, instead tugging you back into the room. “So, how's my darling son?”

“Oh, well, he's got more colour.” you attempt a platitude, eyeing up the doorway wistfully. 

Your plan to escape - to be an apocryphal family tale - is not exactly going as you planned.

“Oh yes!” she agrees happily, brushing his cheek affectionately with the back of her hand and then fussing with a lock of his hair—the very picture of a doting mother. 

“I have to go, but it was lovely seeing you again,” you excuse, edging away.

“Tell her…” Marcus elbows Violet gently. “Go on.”

“So…” Violet begins, looking a little sheepish. “We didn't get to celebrate Christmas yesterday as planned, so we thought, now we know Anthony’s prognosis looks good, we would do so tonight. A day late, but still. And we thought… well, it would be nice if you could join us,” she rushes out, grabbing both of your hands. “ You are to be family soon after all!”

You stumble a few umms and ahs before Hyacinth pipes up: “Benedict is going to be there!”

“Oh, yes! That's right!” Violet brightens immediately. “You haven't met him yet?” 

“Nope…”  you confirm, having absolutely no clue who that could be. Seriously, could this family be any bigger?

“Oh, he'll be so happy to meet you!” Violet grins, and something about that makes you feel an odd flutter in your chest. “So you'll come? Tonight?” She looks so hopeful you feel bad saying no.

“I have to work until 7pm...”

“Come afterwards,” she insists. “We won't be eating until late. Give Hyacinth your mobile number. And I will call until you say yes….” She smiles, and you are uncertain how much of that is a jest.

Still, you feel unable to give them the wrong number. So, with a sigh, you take Hyacinth's proffered iPhone, the latest model you notice, and reluctantly punch it in.

Well, how the fuck am I going to get out of this one?!

—

You are waiting for the lift to take you down to the street when an orderly flags you down, holding out a large plastic bag for you to take.

“What? What is this?” you query, confused and tired, just wanting to get home and grab two hours of sleep before you have to go to work.

“These are your husband's things, Mrs Bridgerton.”

Something drops hard in your stomach at the word husband. You are glad you have finally learned his last name even as you grouse in frustration: “He's not my husband!”

“I'm sorry. Your fiancee,” the orderly corrects, shoving the bag into your hand and walking away as the lift sweeps open next to you.

“Uh, you're Anthony's fiancee?” The query comes from a tall man in a suit.

“Okay. Yep. Fine,” you shrug, defeated.

“Fife. Alastair Fife. Colleague of Anthony's,” he introduces, with the air of a man expecting you to be impressed somehow.

“l have to go…” You attempt to get into the lift he just exited, but he blocks you.

“Can't believe this has happened. Ant’s had a shit year. What with the accident in September….”

“Accident?” you frown.

“Well, of course, it was an accident!” He blusters, then seems to get agitated. “Wait… Did he tell you it was my fault?! The fucking cheek…” 

He pauses to run a harried hand through his hair, then launches into a diatribe before you can even protest. 

“Look, here’s the real story…. we're playing doubles down in Roehampton. l had an Apple pencil in my back pocket, but I swear I didn't know it was there. I’m always losing those blasted things. Anyway, I crouch, and Ant jumps high to hit a crosscourt smash….”

You sigh, watching the lift doors sweep shut, resigning yourself to a story you know you are going to have to endure from this rather twitchy man.

Great, juuuuust great.

—

Two hours of sleep is definitely not enough to face the insanity of Boxing Day crowds piling into London to shop the sales. And then, of course, demanding coffee from you. Everyone is back on shift today but still, fully staffed; you can barely keep up with the queue, which is out of the door at times.

“I need a new place,” Prue laments at some point during the afternoon. “Me and Phillipa simply CANNOT live with Mum anymore. It's just too much….”

“The flat above mine is free,” you report as your phone pings yet again. “I mean, it's in the attic, so it's a bit small, and the landlord is… a character, but I think it's a two bed….”

“OMG, give me the details!” she demands as Gen wanders over.

You check the message, and it's Hyacinth. This time, with a pin drop to their house and a bunch of champagne and fire emojis.

“Ladies, this isn’t the time to be slacking,” Gen chastises gently, nodding to the queue.

Prue pouts but goes back to the till as Gen hovers while you wash out the smoothie maker. 

“So…. your phone is blowing up. How goes it?” She wheedles, asking for even more information than you have already given her over text and during your shift today.

You groan and drop the scrubber. “I’m fucked. They think I'm their future daughter-in-law!”

She chuckles heartily, and you throw her a side stink eye. 

“The grandad? He's got this heart thing. If l tell the truth, he will die. I'm not a murderer, Gen!”

“Well, then, go along with it,” she suggests, her schadenfreude almost gleeful. “Look, when he wakes up, they’ll be so happy they won't care you told some porkies. They'll probably even thank you for it, mate.”

You scoff at that. “And what if he doesn't come out of it?”

“Morbid,” she contends, then just shrugs. “Could be worse. When Henry’s mum found out I was pregnant? Her fucking intestines exploded.”

Edie whips around from manning the espresso machine and narrows her eyes at Gen. ���I thought you said she shat herself?”

“Meh… po-tay-to, po-tahh-oh”: Gen fires back.

You sigh. “You fuckers are no help….”

—

You check your phone five times, looking down at the screen and then back up, certain that despite your little blue dot hovering over the pin Hyacinth sent, it can't be the right place.

This cannot be their home. That would be ridiculous. 

It's a mansion in Mayfair. It looks more like a fancy consulate building than a residence. 

Just as you go to text Hyacinth a ‘Haha, very funny’, Agatha materialises at your side for a second time. 

“Y/n, you made it!” She greets with a knowing smile.

“Agatha! Hello! So I am in the right place?!” 

“Indeed,” she confirms, tapping open an old-fashioned cigarette case as you stare up again at the handsome building, belatedly realising you haven't done your usual Googling of someone as soon as you learn their name. But then, it's not exactly been a typical 36 hours. 

“So the family owns this? All of it?” You ask, secretly hoping that maybe they just have a flat inside or something.

She laughs. “Yes, dear. The Bridgertons are… not exactly wanting for money,” she attests in what is clearly a classic understatement.

“But they seem so nice, normal,” you mutter rhetorically, a knot forming in your stomach, suddenly feeling way out of your depth.

Agatha just chuckles again, and flicks open a lighter. “Keep me company for a while? l don't like to smoke in their house.” 

She signals to a seat inside the gates, and you follow her after she punches in a code to gain access.

“I’m trying to quit,” she breezes, offering you one silently from her case, but you shake your head. “Did you know that I was Anthony's godmother?” she queries, exhaling a swirl of smoke. 

“I did not,” you concede. “It must be nice to be around family at this time of year…” Your mien is likely wistful, for she twists to look at you with piqued curiosity.

“You have no family?”

“I'm an only child, just like my parents. I don't remember my Mum; she died when I was just three,” you shrug matter-of-factly. “It was just me and Dad. Then, four years ago, he got ill. Eventually, he sold the house in Bath and moved in with me in London to be closer to Guys Hospital for treatment. I had to give up working my old job to look after him in the end. But about a year ago, he went too.” You conclude—an economical but truthful potted history of your life. 

There are a few moments of silence, just the constant swish and drone of London traffic, as Agatha shoots you a look of sympathy, tapping to discard some ash.

“My husband died when I was relatively young,” she volunteers. “But Violet was, and always has been, my rock.”

“You are friends from long ago?” 

“Oh yes. We go back a long way, my dear. Longer than she even knows….” she pauses to take another drag, then fixes you with a pointed, almost intimidating look. “Y/n, the Bridgertons, you should know I consider them my family. I'd never let anyone hurt them.”

It sounds like a warning, but for some reason also an invitation.

“Neither would l,” you confess honestly, a gust of light wind catching your hair that you have to tuck behind your ear.

Agatha observes you pointedly for a beat, then seems satisfied with whatever she finds.

“l believe you wouldn't,” she opines, stubbing out her cigarette.

—

When the door to Bridgerton House sweeps open, your jaw drops. Somehow, even magnificent seems somewhat inadequate as a descriptor. The grand hallway is bedecked in heavy garlands festooned with lights, a Christmas tree almost as tall as the building you live in taking pride of place. Everywhere you look is tasteful Christmas decor, and among it antique furniture, glittering chandeliers and oil paintings of what looks to be the family antecedents.

The poinsettia from M&S you clutch seems entirely pointless now, and part of you wants just to hide it, but you don't have time. While a friendly-looking man takes your coat, the gaggle of Bridgertons descend upon you. Violet takes the plant from you with profuse thanks as they all crowd around, talking over each other excitedly in the manner you are almost used to now. All dressed up in novelty jumpers, which is a relief. A setting this grand seems more black-tie, but that would leave you woefully undressed in the simple skirt and jumper you wear.

Before you quite know what has happened, you are swept into a dining room, where a glass of bubbly is pushed into your hand. 

“That’s so you don't have to take any of my dear father's mulled wine,”  Violet murmurs before sweeping away.

“It can cause temporary blindness,” Agatha adds under her breath, nodding sagely in a way that suggests there could be some truth behind what you hope is a jest.

You tilt your glass in a gesture of thanks for the forewarning and take a seat in front of the place setting with your name upon it, trying not to feel overwhelmed. You thought this might be a little gathering around a kitchen table in a modest family home; this is a long way from that.

Staff from a catering company bustle in, placing platters down the middle of the long table as Violet taps a fork against her glass and stands up, a rare hush falling over the table.

“I am glad we get to celebrate today as a family. Our thoughts are, of course, with darling Anthony for his hopefully speedy recovery, but I am so happy the soon-to-be-newest member of our family can be here." You feel all eyes turn to you, smiling, a lump in your throat as she continues. “It's so wonderful you came to join us, y/n; the first of many celebrations we shall be happy to have you at!”

“Here, here!” Marcus cheers, tilting his glass in your direction.

“So here is to family, new and old, blood and found,” she smiles at Agatha and Marcus. “Happy Christmas!”

Everyone clinks glasses, and there is a round of festive greetings before people start getting stuck in—platters being passed around the table as pockets of conversation break out. However, you can't help but notice significant gaps between the chairs and spares pushed against the walls off to the side of the room. Violet, ever watchful, notices and leans over. 

“I'm afraid we are rather reduced in number today. You will likely only encounter less than half of my errant offspring. In fact, just three of the eight.”

“Eight?” your eyes go wide, almost spitting out the bite of warm bread roll you had just popped in your mouth.

“Anthony did not tell you?” She looks momentarily confused. Luckily, you don't have to provide cover as she soon continues: “Well, they are scattered around the globe, and I did not want to ruin their Christmas by telling them about Anthony. I don’t want them flying back, especially now we know he should be okay. My son Colin is off travelling in the Costa Rican jungle, and my daughter Eloise decided to tag along. I think mostly to annoy him, to be honest. My musical daughter Fran is at Julliard in New York City. My eldest daughter Daphne is in Dubai…”

“I thought they were in Singapore?” Hyacinth pipes up.

“I thought Tokyo?” Gregory counters with a knitted brow.

“My son-in-law Simon, her husband, has many business interests; they do tend to zip around the globe a great deal,” Violet discloses.

“So Gregory and & Hyacinth are here…” you nod to them as they grin back. “Who’s the third you’re expecting?”

“Benedict. My second eldest.” You recall the name from earlier and Violet seems to light up in a way that suggests she might have a favourite, even if she may never admit it out loud. “Although he texted his train from Edinburgh was cancelled, so unfortunately, I don't think he’ll be here in time for dinner. But he will be later. You can meet him in the morning, if not before.” She smiles.

“In the morning? I-I-I was not expecting to stay…”

While you had left out enough food to last Chairman Meow a day, you are certain he won’t appreciate another night left all alone.

“Oh, of course you shall!” Violet contests congenially. “And if you have any of the mulled wine, you likely won’t have a choice,” she chortles, and again, you feel yourself ill-equipped to disappoint this lovely woman.

And so the meal progresses with lively conversation, stories of old being regaled to you as you relax a notch. Even though they are obviously very wealthy, there is something so warm and genuine about the Bridgertons, and you can't help but feel a glow that isn’t entirely attributable to your second glass of fizz.

After dinner, with a brief stop by the hallway tree where you are reluctantly pulled into a family group photo, you all decamp to a large living room. A fireplace is roaring, and Christmas music is playing softly from hidden speakers as you gather on a clutch of comfortable sofas, forming a U-shape. Everyone is still wearing their novelty paper crowns from the crackers you all pulled at dessert. Well, with the exception of Victor, who wears two, claiming it is his right as the oldest.

“It's presents time!” Hyacinth trills, excitedly diving into the pile under yet another beautiful tree.

You are happy just to sit back and observe, so you are surprised when she and Gregory smirk as they drop one in your lap.

“To y/n, with love from Santa,” they wink.

Your mouth goes dry, and you don't know what to say. 

“Don't worry, dear. We don't buy fancy gifts,” Violet pipes up. “It's just for fun,” she reassures as Victor rips open his gift: novelty socks that start playing an obnoxious tune and flashing gaudily.

“Oh ho ho,  I’ll have fun wearing these to church on Sunday,” he guffaws.

“You’ll do no such thing,” Agatha chides affectionately.

As Gregory and Hyacinth pull focus with their gifts, you open yours quietly. An odd wave of emotion at a lovely picture frame containing what is obviously a photo of a teenage Anthony smiling handsomely, holding what looks like a sporting trophy of some kind. You look up to see Violet smiling benevolently at you as Marcus pulls her in for a temple kiss for the embossed golf tees she has given him. 

“That’s Anthony’s favourite photo of himself,” Violet explains. “I thought you would enjoy having a copy for your home together.”

Maybe the third (fourth?) glass of champagne isn't helping, but there’s a bittersweet pang in your chest. Feeling awful the longer the misunderstanding continues, especially with how lovely this all is. Still, you just don't have it in you to admit the truth right now and ruin their Boxing Day after their Christmas was so royally fucked. There is something so irresistible about this lovely, chaotic family and how they have welcomed you with such open arms. It's like a festive hug you don't want to leave. 

And that’s without you even noticing that hung at the end of the mantle, next to Anthony’s, is a simple red stocking with your name emblazoned upon it. Good thing, too. You’d probably ugly cry into your Moet, and that would be a real waste. 

—

Unbeknownst to you all, right at that very moment, half-buried on a rubbish tip somewhere on the outskirts of London, a mobile phone screen lights up with a notification:

Merry belated, etc. LA is absolutely fab, but cutting my trip short. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… and, okay, sure, why the fuck not? Bridgerton, you are on. l WILL marry you. Sxx

masterlist • wips • taglist (must follow this blog to be tagged)

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[theroyalyandere]

i love your writing soooo much!! if it's not too much trouble, may i get some headcanons of the yandere emperor & a commoner/fallen noble darling?

I'm answering this request because this just made me feel things 🫢

Warning: this work contains dark content. Mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of harassment, and gambling addiction, yandere, mentions of death, some graphic description of dead bodies, mentions of trauma, kidnapping, physical assault, torture, mentions of blackmailing, assassination

Kindly scroll away if you do not wish to interact with this post or my blog. Remember this is only a work of fiction and shall not be taken seriously!

authors note: This is actually pretty tame because I want darling to fall in love with yan!emperor. I also made this gender neutral for those who have been looking for content like this. I wanna improve in writing smut.

yandere!emperor x commoner/fallen noble!darling 18+ smut

A little bit of background, your family used to be an established noble house but due to some conflict the previous emperor and the court had taken away your family's title.

The noble family you belonged in was a prestigious name throughout the land, the fall of your house surely caused a lot of catastrophe in your life.

One day you're living lavishly being pampered by your servants and family then the next you're stripped of your title as a noble with hundreds of people as witnesses.

Your father was so devastated he drowned himself in agony alcohol. Your mother had begun to partake in gambling. Your siblings had either become criminals or worked at brothels, truly a fall from grace.

Seeing the destruction and misery that had fallen upon your family, you still tried to do your best to live as an upright citizen of the land.

Despite the numerous whispers you hear, the taunts, and sometimes the harassment from those with two eyes following your every move.

A few years later, the previous emperor had passed his crown to his only heir, the Crown Prince Alastair. A man beloved by many with his aid, the empire had flourished through his genius mind.

You on the other hand, had moved away from the capital, away from the judging stares and malicious mouths you encounter. You managed to live your life and survive through hardship further solidifying your will.

You accepted the fate bestowed upon you and live your life in peace.

One day while washing your laundry at the riverbed, Emperor Alastair has stumbled upon you while he was out on a hunting trip with some nobles accompanying him.

You were minding your own business until an arrow was shot on your way ultimately landing on the poor hare in front of you.

You look up and see a dashing man grinning down at you, an amused glint in his eye as he introduces himself.

He thinks he had seen you before but could not pinpoint when and where but for him, Alastair could not believe he had coincidentally found a beautiful person such as you.

He believes that this is destiny, you are the one he will love and worship in his lifetime.

You are equally charmed by his gentlemanly gestures, quickly ensnaring your heart as you were captivated the same way as you did with him.

You converse for a little while until a group of nobles that accompanied him had appeared where one of them had recognized you.

The noble sneered as he started to mention who you were and started to degrade how desperate you are which effectively makes you cower a little.

The noble had mentioned that Alastair is the emperor startling you that you did not know he was the new emperor making you feel even more ashamed.

Little did you know, Alastair had a dark look in his eyes. Disgust and rage running through him as the noble continued to talk down on you.

You were going to be his beloved, the one who will rule by his side until you're all frail and gray.

Alastair stepped between and stares down at the noble, subtly insulting the noble's own lineage making him regret his mistakes.

Alastair then turns to you, his change of demeanor surprised you as he suggests to accompany you. You admit you were charmed by him and agreed.

He stayed at the village you live in, spending most of his time getting to know you completely winning your trust and affections.

At the last day of his hunting trip he had asked you to go back to him to the capital.

Even though you were reluctant and something has been nagging you to not go with him but due to his charms and you believe you were in love you followed him back to the capital.

As the carriage carries you away, you remembered the noble who insulted you on the first meeting with Alastair.

You curiously asked him and Alastair only smiled and replied that the noble had already gone back to the capital a few days early.

He tells you to not worry and only pulls you closer to him.

What you did not know the man who insulted you was already a decomposing body in the woods.

After a few days, you arrived back at the capital making you anxious due to the trauma.

Alastair felt you tensed up and tried to soothe you with his words and strokes on your skin, distracting you from time to time.

Hiding behind him from the stares was proven to be futile, as he is the emperor, it is natural all attention would be on him.

As you two were walking inside the palace, the servants and nobles lingering and passing by kept their eyes on you and they all began to glare and whisper again.

As you enter the throne room, you and Alastair were greeted by the former empress and emperor who immediately locked eyes with you.

Both of you bowed before the dowager empress and the former emperor, their eyes staring holes right through you.

Alastair rises with grace and a smile on his face. Your face falls as he introduces you as his lover. Everyone in the court gasped and the former emperor's face curled into anger.

His booming voice echoed throughout the entire room making you shake in fear.

He suggests that you should go back to where you came from or else you would tarnish the imperial family's great image.

Alastair chose to fight his love for you even though you haven't confessed to each other yet, you believe that you two had a connection.

Tears began to swell in your eyes but you would not want to let anyone see them fall so you ran away from everyone not knowing where your feet will take you.

You find a secluded place where you sit down to process what happened, questioning yourself whether you truly made the right choice to follow the man you love.

A few minutes later, Alastair finds you and embraces you tight against him.

He apologizes for startling you and declares that he truly loves you. From the bottom of his heart Alastair, is deeply in-love with you.

His father may call him obsessed but no one ever knows what he really feels. Anyone who thinks about separating you from him shall be eliminated.

He tells you not to care about what others say and before you say anything he cuts you off with a deep kiss which leads to you being brought to his chambers.

You strip each other out of your clothes feverishly, grabbing each other's flesh.

Alastair devours your lips in a breathless kiss, a string of saliva connecting you two as he parts away.

He looks down at you with lust and devotion evident in his eyes. He tells you that you're beautiful.

His hardened cock twitches against you, making you feel more aroused. The sight of his large cock makes you drool.

The precum oozing at the tip and the veins decorating the sides makes you want to worship him.

So you asked him to lay back and worship him. At first, he refuses to do so but when you start to stroke his cock he relents allowing you to go down on him.

As you start to worship his cock with kisses and licks, Alastair thinks he's going to go insane with how much pleasure he feels from being teased by you.

Eventually you take his tip into your mouth, curiously swirling your tongue around him before taking him inch by inch until you can't.

Your hands wrap around what you can't reach and you do your best to pleasure him. He starts to lose his composure at the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around his cock.

He will surely lose his damn mind seeing you make eye contact with him. He couldn't help but hold onto your head as he nears his peak.

He loves the gagging sounds you produced and although it was sudden, you can't deny you loved how he took control.

Alastair brutally thrusts his hips into your warm mouth until he pulls out to paint your face with cum.

You gasp for air when he releases you, feeling your arousal intensify at the feeling of his cum dripping down your face.

He became hard again and this time he got on top of you. Alastair groans as he tells you how much he has waited to touch you and feel you.

He pushes inside you making you arch in pleasure. He fucks you mercilessly for the whole night surely making the whole empire hear your screams and moans.

The next day a servant came in and was shocked to discover the mess that your little endeavor with him caused.

Since then people knew that both you and the emperor often slept with each other causing chaos and solidifying your title as his lover.

There had been a time where he was supposed to meet another noble to become his empress. You were caught being fucked by him at the garden where the meeting place was supposed to be.

The poor woman had to see you being wrecked by the emperor.

You then earned a reputation as the Emperor's whore, a rather derogatory term which bothered you a little.

Alastair became more insatiable sometimes going at it for several hours at risky places.

He also went against his father and continued to cause ruckus.

The former emperor could not separate you from Alastair, he needed to take drastic measures to make you disappear.

Days later, the palace held a huge ball where you were invited at. You enjoyed your time sticking to Alastair, not giving a fuck about anyone and anything for as long as you're with him, you're alright.

Later, Alastair was called urgently making him grumble for being separated from you.

As you were walking towards a secluded balcony, you were suddenly hit in the head making you black out.

You blink your eyes until your vision clears and in front of you were soldiers looking down at you.

They began to beat you until you coughed blood and your body bloomed with bruises.

You were tortured until the sun rises, with your soul feeling hollow. They kept you in captivity where they would mistreat you badly you could not lift a finger.

A day later, you woke up with screams ringing in your ears. A loud bang came from the exit of the cell you were held in. There stood Alastair wearing an armor covered in blood.

He sees you and feels his heart being crushed into pieces at the state you're in.

Everything becomes a blur when he gently cradles you in his arms and guides you away from the cell.

He takes you back to the palace where he commands everyone to take care of you.

Alastair confronted his father who was behind your assassination.

Without a word, he slays his father where the empress dowager screamed in horror at the gruesome sight. Alastair then slays the older woman.

That day blood bathes the whole palace with the amount of bodies that experienced his wrath.

Everyone who he deems to take you away from him is eliminated.

Terror began to spread while at the same time he loomed over you watching your condition.

You slowly healed but every little mistake made by the servants and healers resulted in death.

One time a servant made a loud noise, which triggered you. The servant was immediately beheaded by Alastair himself.

After a while, he introduces you before the people as his official consort by marrying you, ending any marriage proposal sent to him.

Your family found out you were crowned consort and tried to pester you about it. Alastair deems them unworthy and blackmails them to keep them away from you.

In the end, he got you despite still being a little broken. He vows to nurse you back to your old self to the best of his abilities.

For now, he will hold you in his arms and love you till the day he dies.

[im-out-of-it]

I’ll forever love that whole “IM IN LOVE WITH ALASTAIR CARSTAIRS AND IM GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM” moment

because Gideon is seriously like “I didn’t even think you liked Alastair, not much at least” because he’s actually genuinely confused 😭 he’s not being homophobic and he’s not angry but he’s like when did my son start liking this boy he previously hated? what am I missing here?????

and Eugenia is so protective of her brother that “if anyone condemns Thomas for who he is or who he loves, he and I will renounce the rest of you as my family”. she’s so proud of her brother and misguided as the attempt is, (I’m giving her all the points) she’s prepared to leave the family for him. like what a wonderful sister Eugenia is. she’s so underrated and we don’t get many moments with her 🥹

then Sophie is all “no one here is going to condemn Thomas” PROTECTING AND LOVING HER SON

and Gideon says no like the fuck Thomas, you think your father would be ashamed of you???? 💀

“Thomas, my darling, we love you and we want you to be happy. If Alastair makes you happy, then we are delighted. Although it would be nice if you introduced us. Perhaps you could bring him to dinner?” Sophie 😭

I do wish this scene was longer and we could’ve seen a whole chapter of the dinner and the lightwoods bonding but I will admit- I like this page. Eugenia and Thomas think their parents won’t accept Thomas being gay and they’re both just confused why Thomas never introduced Alastair lmao WE NEED AN AUTHENTIC PERSIAN DINNER PLEASE (I’d love to see Thomas cook for him)

in a way, I feel that Gideon secretly knew because what kind of man stalks someone to make sure they aren’t getting murdered and then when that person is accused of murder, they go and defend that person and say HEY HE KILLED NO ONE AND I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE SECRETLY BEEN FOLLOWING HIM BUT JUST AS A FRIEND FOR MY SISTER NOOOOOO OTHER REASON

so I feel that Gideon just KNEW. but Gideon and Sophie are both confused because why haven’t you introduced us yet???????? WHY HAVENT WE HAD DINNER WITH HIM THOMAS? it’s just so cute and wholesome. Gideon is one of my favorite characters and he doesn’t get the treatment that he deserves so I feel robbed that we don’t get to see him parent all that much 🥹

[servicpop]

IMAGINE READER READER AND ALASTAIR ARE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. (a lil Yan Alastair cus I can)

Alastair and Reader have been friends ever. But one day the reader's family had to go out of town, making them separated. And years later, Alastair was the policeman that he was today, and on break he found reader who's now a florist. They'll have a chat that went to them having sex.

At the end, after they finished, reader would be laying on the bed, heavy breathing. Alastair would apologize for being too rough, then grabbed reader's wrist as he kissed his palm, as he slowly closing his eyes exhausted. Alastair's eyes would have heart pupils.

"I love you my whole life, M/N... and I'll never let you go from this day on. My darling."

— 🎭

how romantic > \\\ >

[tyriq-edits]

Tam Lin - Breakbee

“O, I forbid you, maidens all, That wear gold on your hair, To come or go by Carterhaugh, For young Tam Lin is there.”

CW: Potential Mechpreg/Mpreg

Well i guess it goes without saying that in this AU our favourite smug Racer Decepticon with commitment issues takes on the role of Tam Lin and everyone’s darling Bumblebee is Janet. And as always because i am predictable: Optimus Prime takes on the role of Bumblebee’s father

I am uncertain yet who shall be the Queen of the Fairies. Currently leaning towards Megatron or maybe even Starscream but any suggestions are welcome really.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Tale of Tam Lin: It tells the story of a young noblewoman named Janet who while hiking through her father’s woods in Carterhaugh one day, summons the fae Tam Lin “on accident” by plucking a double-headed rose. Unable to pay Tam Lin back in gold or cloaks like the rules of the fae demand, Janet instead offers to pay with virginity and BOOM she got herself a hot fae boyfriend/baby daddy. On the day of Halloween Janet returns to Carterhaugh but Tam Lin has bad news for her. For Tam Lin was not born a fae. He used to be human before the queen of the fairies had kidnapped him one day to live in her court as her consort. But the faes must also pay a sacrifice to hell every 7 years on Halloween and Tam Lin has suspicions that this year he will be sacrificed. So him and Janet create a plan to save him from this fate. That night Janet hides in the bushes before ambushing the fae’s procession by tackling Tam Lin of his horse and holding him close to her chest. But of course the fairies do not wish to just let their sacrifice escape so they transform him into a bear, a snake, a flame etc. But no matter what they do Janet holds him close. So Tam Lin turns human again, his ties to the fae realm have been broken and the fae can no longer sacrifice him and the Queen if fairies departs with the words “If I had known you’d leave my side for a mortal woman i would have plucked your eyes out on the day I had taken you to my court” and Janet and Tam Lin get married- HAPPY END.

In my AU Bumblejanet and Breaklin meet several times and are in an established, albeit secret, relationship before the “Halloween-sacrifice”. Essentially Bumblebee sneaks out into woods of Caterhaugh frequently and plucks a double-headed rose to summon his boyfriend and they race each other through the woods or (depending on wether or not you enjoy smut) fuck and/or cuddle in the flower meadows of the forest, talking about what the future may hold for them. But I also believe that Breakdown has had his suspicions of being the next sacrifice for a long while but was too scared to bring it up with Bumblebee until the very day of the sacrifice (maybe because Bumblebee told him he’s pregnant right after he summoned Breakdown). However for those of you uncomfortable with the idea of Mpreg/Mechpreg I am almost certain you can write it out of the story completely if you want and just have Breakdown worry instead about the Queen of Fairies finding out about his mortal sweetheart he’s been seeing behind her back.

The different animal transformations Breakdown would go through would of course be different beast forms.

As always feel free to take this basic idea of mine and make your own version of this AU if you so desire.

[tony-blair-erotica]

Most Brat new Labour cabinet member?? Mandy, obviously x

[petchic101]

Modern Dragon Age pt.6

Friend Groups I hate everyone except you guys+Zevran Sera, Velanna, Sigrun, Fenris, Sten, Zevran, Ashur, Skinner, Charter, Dalish, Grim

Connections and Power is everything darling Leliana, Cassandra, Josephine, Vivienne, Hero of Ferelden, Dorian, Neve, Wyne, Aveline, Alastair, Bethany, Cullen, Duncan, Stitcher, Maevaris, Viago

Fuck around and/or Find Out Iron Bull, Taash, Davrin, Isabela, Varric, Krem, Oghren, Hawke, Pietra (Rook), Lucanis, Teia, Lace, Evka

Reddit Boyz Carver, Sebastion, Nathanial, Blackwall, Tarquin

We could make a nuke or solve world hunger Merrill, Antoine, Bellara, Rocky, Inquisitor, Dagna, Cole, Myrna

Mmmm yes is that so? Solas, Anders, Morrigan, Emmrich, Strife, Shale, Vorgoth

Part 1 Relationships Part 2 More Relationships Part 3 Jobs Part 4 Hobbies Part 5 Ages

[glowinggator]

Prompt: Calling Sedgewick by his full name Pairing: Sedgewick Sable/Reader A/N: Realized it's been a while since I've posted anything, so Sedgewick be upon ye! Ivy and Mitzi to be posted at a later date :)

Sedgewick likes to believe he has an appropriate work-life balance. He doesn't, mind you, but a man can dream. He tries his best to disentangle himself a little from the business after-hours, bless his heart, but it's hard when you do what you love… even if the logistics of the business can be frustrating. But he can say one thing with confidence: When he shuts the office door, he's more than a businessman. Papers fall from his hands to be replaced by a half-filled glass of scotch, and "Sedgewick Sable" is exchanged for "love" and "dear." 

That's all to say that when he hears "Sedgewick Alastair Sable" fall from your lips, he's about ready to fall to your feet. He can practically feel his parents nudging his leg from under the table to correct his posture, or grab the right fork. (Dinner forks are on the inside, Sedgewick Sable, salad forks on the outside.) He's not sure what he did wrong, and as much as he tries to play it cool… he's about ready to crumble. 

"Yes, darling?" He laughs nervously, straightening his posture. His hands move forward to adjust his tie before realizing that he's yet to put it on for the day, and instead come to rest behind his back.

It's best not to laugh at his sigh of relief when you ask him where the coffee tin is. Poor man is a little too gullible for his own good… but that's not to say he doesn't catch on. He presses a kiss to your jawline when he moves past you, punctuating it with a gentle nip. 

"You think you're quite the fox, huh?" 

You grin -- the double meaning isn't lost on you, and you squeeze his arm tenderly. "Not quite sure what you're talking about, dear." 

[vergess]

My bestest baby boy who has done nothing wrong - Valentino Hazbin Hotel :3

I am so sorry, I had to go make sure I had the right guy, this is the porno moth right? Hell yeah, I think his design with the wings in the coat tails and the furry coat collar being his floof, you love to see an insect thriving.

My Favourite Ship

You know when the show had that AMV about how he definitely rapes Angel Dust after shoots? That was good shit. I liked that shit. I approve of that ship. Those guys know how to write some fucked up shit.

My Most Hated Ship

I don't really.... Hmm. I don't have one? I'm sorry, my darling, I don't tend to engage with your beautiful baby boy beyond his on screen appearances. I did once see some SHOCKINGLY out of character seeming stuff with him and Vox the TV Head Guy, but most of that ship seems to be good upstanding stuff suitable for the rape porn and propaganda guys to get up to in their free time

My Unusual Ship

The only other ship I know of is the one with the other girl from the trio, polyshipping style. I like it when I see it, very cute art styles all around, and not too shy to include the girl one in the gore and horrors. I don't think it can possibly be that unusual though, I mean they have a ship name.

The ship name is my name, however, so I will not be saying it.

My Crossover Ship

You know, I've never crossed him into anything else. But I bet he and the dog girl from the spinoff (Luna?) would have insane sexcapades.

My Favourite Headcanon

Valentino slept with Alastair years ago and Vox is ready to have a stroke every time he mentions it.

A gif that reflects how I feel about the character!

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