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barnesbabee · 4 years

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Just Can’t Get Enough || J.W

Summary: Wooyoung found out he had a kink in the most unlikely place, but oh would he explore it.

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader

Words: If I had to guess I’d say around 2066

Genre: Smut

A/N: Hey guys, I know this is probably not the place, I just wanted to ask you to not be disrespectful towards Wooyoung and his w*eight. Don’t spam him, show love and support, but respect most of all, please have in consideration his situation. This being said, enjoy loves!!

Requests are super open!!

---- THANK YOU ANON FOR THE REQUEST 💖----

Wooyoung was aware of his many sexual preferences. He wasn't ready to discover a new one in such an inappropriate timing however, the man certainly didn't expect to feel arousal spread through his body when he saw you walk around the restaurant.

The waitress' work outfit noticeably exposed a little too much, but God yours looked so good on your body. The small, black suit skirt hugged your hips and thighs perfectly, exposing a little more skin than skirts usually would and it was driving Wooyoung crazy.

He wasn't looking at your ass or gazing at your hips however, his eyes were planted onto your thighs. The lack of a gap between them and the way they jiggled when you walked... Damn he wanted you to strangle him with them.

When you approached his table he gulped and was forced to peel his eyes off of you.

"Goodnight, my name is Y/N, I'll be your waiter today." You said as you handed the menus to each person in the table.

"Perfect." Wooyoung thought and gladly accepted the menu being handed to him.

He watched your figure intensely and bit his lower lip as you walked away, giving them time to choose. An involuntary tent started forming in Wooyoung's pants.

He couldn't not look at you, you were such eye candy to him.

"Wooyoung are you listening to me?"

The aforementioned snapped out of his trance and looked at his leader, who was sitting by his side, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Sorry Hongjoong, I was... distracted." Wooyoung smiled and the leader just eyed him awkwardly, but repeated what he had just said anyway.

Wooyoung pretended to listen, but he couldn't stop thinking of your body and how good it would look without the skirt. Soon after, you came to pick up their orders, and the man had to stop himself from trailing his fingers along your hips and thighs.

The second after you left, Wooyoung excused himself to "go to the bathroom", approaching the counter instead.

"Hello," he said to the young man behind the bar "do you happen to know when Miss Y/N's shift ends?"

The employee was a little confused, but replied nevertheless.

"In about thirty minutes I believe. It's usually the case..."

Wooyoung bowed as a way of thanking the man and went back to his seat, longing for those thirty minutes to come to an end.

He didn't eat much, as he spent every second of those thirty minutes thinking of how to approach you, what to say and how hard he was gonna fuck you.

Wooyoung didn't want to miss you leaving the building, so he often looked at the exit to see if he could spot you leaving.

It was way past those thirty minutes and Wooyoung's ecstatic face started fading, as he thought he had missed you leaving and his chance was long gone.

Luck seemed to be on his side however. As he looked up from his dish, he saw you make your way out of the restaurant, now with a pair of jeans that fit your thighs beautifully.

Wooyoung excused himself, telling his members and manager that he needed to go. He didn't care if he excuse he'd given was believable, Hell, if it was even plausible. All he cared about was having you to himself.

He followed you outside, and once he caught up to you he tapped on your shoulder. When you turned around he froze. Fuck. What now!?

Wooyoung had only thought about the end and beginning, he figured that the middle would just come naturally when the time came, but it was certainly backfiring.

You cocked your head as you waited for the male to talk.

"I just- I couldn't stop looking at you. God you're gorgeous..."

You blushed at his comment and looked down at your feet. Wooyoung's cheeks had a faint blush to them and he laughed awkwardly, mentally slapping himself for not fucking thinking of something appropriate to say.

"I take it you were the guy that asked my colleague when my shift was over?"

"Maybe?" Wooyoung replied, a little taken aback that the man had ratted him out.

You laughed faintly at the man's reaction.

"Well stranger, if this encounter hadn't been at 10 PM in an empty parking lot it would have been a really sweet but..." You looked around at the creepy scenario and Wooyoung understood what you meant.

The man looked down at his feet for a second and then up at you with a shy smile.

"I'm just hoping you're not too tired from work and would join me for a drink?" Wooyoung shamelessly invited.

You opened your mouth, unsure of what to reply yet, but eventually just smiled and nodded.

"Sure, let me just pop these in my car." You told him, holding up your work uniform.

Once you were set, the both of you walked to a nearby bar, keeping a light conversation between you.

Upon arrival, you two took a seat in one of the booths with red, round cushioned sofas around the table.

"So, are you going to make me call you stranger the whole night?" You asked as you took a sip of your gin.

Wooyoung hung his head low and chuckled before looking at you again.

"I'm sorry, my name is Wooyoung."

"Cute name." You commented, bringing your drink up to your lips again.

Wooyoung took a big sip of his black vodka and sprite long drink before speaking once more.

"Matches me, right?"

You nearly choked at the sudden boldness. Once the large glass was secure on the table you slapped your thigh as you laughed at the comment.

Little did you know, Wooyoung had followed every move your hand had made, and he wished so, so bad that it was his.

After a couple more drinks and some more chattering, Wooyoung stopped being as discrete, and his eyes were glued to your lower body.

You placed a hand in his forearm.

"Wooyoung, do my thighs amuse you?"

Had he been sober, he'd stumble on his words and make a mess out of the situation, but he was a little past tipsy and the cockiness in him was coming out. He smirked and kissed the spot under your ear.

"Very much so, Y/N..." He whispered, then proceeding to bite your earlobe.

Although your eyes fluttered a little at the pleasurable contact, you still placed your hand on his chest and pushed him away lightly.

"Easy there loverboy." You cautioned, wearing a sly smirk on your face.

Wooyoung chuckled and examined your face for a second as he licked his lips.

"Your thighs look so good though... I just can’t get enough."

His hand placed on your knee, slowly trailing up your leg, and stopping mid-thigh. He waited, in case you wanted to remove his hand, but you kept it there, so he gave your thigh a light squeeze and it felt like Heaven to him. Wooyoung followed it with a harsher squeeze and kissed your jaw, then your neck.

"I want to make you feel so good Y/N..." He whispered in your ear once more.

Your head tilted slightly, giving him all the access he wanted to your neck.

"I just met you Wooyoung..."

Your words came out pathetically almost like a moan.

Wooyoung grabbed your chin and made you look at him. He approached his face to yours, lips brushing against each other. You looked at his lustful eyes through your lashes and sighed.

"Fuck it." You said, before clashing your lips against his.

It was rough right from the start, as both of your tongues fought for dominance in a fight where you'd both end up winning. You could taste the alcohol in the kiss and every second that passed you got more and more drunk in the feeling of having him all over you.

His hands predictably caressed your thighs while yours held his nape.

Once you pulled away for air, you could see in each other's expressions that you wanted more, you needed more.

Probably not the wisest choice, but you dragged the man over to your flat without much thought. The walk there was filled with sexual tension. Wooyoung couldn't keep his hands off of you, and you were getting needier at each step.

Upon arriving at your home, you grabbed Wooyoungs wrist and dragged him to your bedroom. The both of you hurriedly stripped from your shirts and connected your lips in a desperate kiss. Wooyoung's hips rocked against yours, and you moaned into the kiss. His fingers played with the hook of your bra for a second, before managing to unhook it and peel it off of you.

You undid each other's pants and kicked it off of yourselves the best you could in your drunken state, never breaking the kiss as you were enjoying it far too much.

When Wooyoung finally broke the kiss, his lips attacked your neck, biting harshly some spots that would certainly turn purple later on. He then pulled away, grabbed your hips, and pushed you against the wall, chest colliding with the cold surface. You hissed at the sudden contact with the gelid wall.

Wooyoung knelt behind you and pulled down your underwear, taking his time to admire the way you looked. He gave your ass a harsh squeeze followed by your thighs. The man then grabbed them and spread them a little wider, so he could access you better, but just enough so he'd have your thighs hugging his face as he ate you out.

He started by leaving a few bites on your inner thighs, then kisses around your folds before he spat on your core, dipped his head between your legs and started exploring your pussy with his tongue.

You were a moaning mess under his touch, but you didn't mind, cause damn the boy was good.

He pulled away and spat on your womanhood once more before standing up and turning you around.

"Ride me baby..." He asked of you, as he caressed your cheek and looked deep into your eyes.

You just nodded and let him guide you onto the bed, where he laid down.

You grabbed the hem of his underwear and pulled it down, slowly revealing his very hardened member.

Before letting him enter you, you grabbed his dick and swirled your tongue around the tip.

"Spit on it," Wooyoung demanded.

"Huh?" You asked as if you hadn't heard well.

"You heard me baby, spit on my cock."

The dirty words made you feel a certain tingle in the pit of your stomach and you complied. You let the spit fall from your lips and onto his member as he watched carefully. His head rolled back and he hissed.

You stroked him a couple of times before taking him onto your mouth and bobbing your head up and down. You barely lasted any time there, as Wooyoung begged you to ride him once more.

You left the position you were in and hovered your womanhood over his dick. You helped him find your entrance, and, once he did find it, he jerked his hips up, and at the same time you pushed yourself down on him and you saw stars.

He grabbed onto your hips as you bounced on him, and his eyes never left your hips, that jiggled every time your skin made contact with his.

"My God Wooyoung you're so good..." You moaned.

You threw your head back and his grip on you grew tighter. The room had a pleasant perfume of alcohol and sex, just what you two loved.

He gave your ass a couple spanks while you bounced on his dick, and when he jerked his hips a little higher you plopped yourself down on him and clenched your thighs around his waist as you came. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you moaned loudly.

Wooyoung removed you from him hurriedly, as the pressure from your thighs around his waist almost sent him over the edge. You grabbed his dick and pumped it a few times, before both of your bodies were decorated with warm spurts of cum.

Neither of you said, thought about or did anything else, since you were both too tired and too drunk. You just plopped down next to the man, who wrapped his left arm around your waist, and fell asleep on his chest.

#wooyoung #jung #jung wooyoung #ateez #ateez wooyoung #kpop #smut #wooyoung smut #kpop smut #ateez smut #jung wooyoung smut

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dillydedalus · 4 years

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january reading

why does january always feel like it’s 3 months long. anyway here’s what i read in january, feat. poison experts with ocd, ants in your brain, old bolsheviks getting purged, and mountweazels.

city of lies, sam hawke (poison wars #1) this is a perfectly nice fantasy novel about jovan, who serves as essentially a secret guard against poisoning for his city state’s heir and is forced to step up when his uncle (also a secret poison guard) and the ruler are both killed by an unknown poison AND also the city is suddenly under a very creepy siege (are these events related? who knows!) this is all very fine & entertaining & there are some fun ideas, but also... the main character has ocd and SAME HAT SAME HAT. also like the idea of having a very important, secret and potentially fatal job that requires you to painstakingly test everything the ruler/heir is consuming WHILE HAVING OCD is like... such a deliciously sadistic concept. amazing. 3/5

my heart hemmed in, marie ndiaye (translated from french by jordan stump) a strange horror-ish tale in which two married teachers, bastions of upper-middle-class respectability and taste, suddenly find themselves utterly despised by everyone around them, escalating until the husband is seriously injured. through several very unexpected twists, it becomes clear that the couple’s own contempt for anyone not fitting into their world and especially nadia’s hostility and shame about her (implied to be northern african) ancestry is the reason for their pariah status. disturbing, surprising, FUCKED UP IF TRUE (looking back, i no longer really know what i mean by that). 4/5

xenogenesis trilogy (dawn/adulthood rites/imago), octavia e. butler octavia butler is incapable of writing anything uninteresting and while i don’t always completely vibe with her stuff, it’s always fascinating & thought-provoking. this series combines some of her favourite topics (genetic manipulation, alien/human reproduction, what is humanity) into a tale of an alien species, the oankali, saving some human survivors from the apocalypse and beginning a gene-trading project with them, integrating them into their reproductive system and creating mixed/’construct’ generations with traits from both species. and like, to me, this was uncomfortably into the biology = destiny thing & didn’t really question the oankali assertion that humans were genetically doomed to hierarchical behaviour & aggression (& also weirdly straight for a book about an alien species with 3 genders that engages in 5-partner-reproduction with humans), so that angle fell flat for me for the most part, altho i suppose i do agree that embracing change, even change that comes at a cost, is better than clinging to an unsustainable (& potentially destructive) purity. where i think the series is most interesting is in its exploration of consent and in how far consent is possible in extremely one-sided power dynamics (curiously, while the oankali condemn and seem to lack the human drive for hierarchy, they find it very easy to abuse their position of power & violate boundaries & never question the morality of this. in this, the first book, focusing on a human survivor first encountering the oankali and learning of their project, is the most interesting, as lilith as a human most explicitly struggles with her position - would her consent be meaningful? can she even consent when there is a kind of biochemical dependence between humans and their alien mates? the other two books, told from the perspectives of lilith’s constructed/mixed children, continue discussing themes of consent, autonomy and power dynamics, but i found them less interesting the further they moved from human perspectives. on the whole: 2.5/5

love & other thought experiments, sophie ward man, we love a pierre menard reference. anyway. this is a novel in stories, each based (loosely) on a thought experiment, about (loosely) a lesbian couple and their son arthur, illness and grief, parenthood, love, consciousness and perception, alternative universes, and having an ant in your brain. it is thoroughly delightful & clever, but goes for warmth and humanity (or ant-ity) over intellectual games (surprising given that it is all about thought experiments - but while they are a nice structuring device i don’t think they add all that much). i haven’t entirely worked out my feelings about the ending and it’s hard to discuss anyway given the twists and turns this takes, but it's a whole lot of fun. 4/5

a general theory of oblivion, josé eduardo agualusa (tr. from portuguese by daniel hahn) interesting little novel(la) set in angola during and after the struggle for independence, in which a portuguese woman, ludo, with extreme agoraphobia walls herself into her apartment to avoid the violence and chaos (but also just... bc she has agoraphobia) with a involving a bunch of much more active characters and how they are connected to her to various degrees. i didn’t like the sideplot quite as much as ludo’s isolation in her walled-in flat with her dog, catching pigeons on the balcony and writing on the walls. 3/5

cassandra at the wedding, dorothy baker phd student cassandra returns home attend (sabotage) her twin sister judith’s wedding to a young doctor whose name she refuses to remember, believing that her sister secretly wants out. cass is a mess, and as a shift to judith’s perspective reveals, definitely wrong about what judith wants and maybe a little delusional, but also a ridiculously compelling narrator, the brilliant but troubled contrast to judith’s safer conventionality. on the whole, cassandra’s narrative voice is the strongest feature of a book i otherwise found a bit slow & a bit heavy on the quirky family. fav line is when cass, post-character-development, plans to “take a quick look at [her] dumb thesis and see if it might lead to something less smooth and more revolting, or at least satisfying more than the requirements of the University”. 3/5

the office of historical corrections, danielle evans a very solid collection of realist short stories (+ the titular novella), mainly dealing with racism, (black) womanhood, relationships between women, and anticolonial/antiracist historiography. while i thought all the stories were well-done and none stood out as weak or an unnecessary inclusion, there also weren’t any that really stood out to me. 3/5

sonnenfinsternis, arthur koestler (english title: darkness at noon) (audio) you know what’s cool about this book? when i added it to my goodreads tbr in 2012, i would have had to read it in translation as the german original was lost during koestler’s escape from the nazis, but since then, the original has been rediscovered and republished. yet another proof that leaving books on your tbr for ages is a good thing actually. anyway. this is a story about the stalinist purges, told thru old bolshevik rubashov, who, after serving the Party loyally for years & doing his fair share of selling people out for the Party, is arrested for ~oppositional activities. in jail and during his interrogations, rubashov reflects on the course the Party has taken and his own part (and guilt) in that, and the way totalitarianism has eaten up and poisoned even the most commendable ideals the Party once held (and still holds?), the course of history and at what point the end no longer justifies the means. it’s brilliant, rubashov is brilliant and despicable, i’m very happy it was rediscovered. 5/5

heads of the colored people, nafissa thompson-spires another really solid short story collection, also focused on the experiences of black people in america (particularly the black upper-middle class), black womanhood and black relationships, altho with a somewhat more satirical tone than danielle evans’s collection. standouts for me were the story in letters between the mothers of the only black girls at a private school, a story about a family of fruitarians, and a story about a girl who fetishises her disabled boyfriend(s). 3.5/5

pedro páramo, juan rulfo (gernan transl. by dagmar ploetz) mexican classic about a rich and abusive landowner (the titular pedro paramo) and the ghost town he leaves behind - quite literally, as, when his son tries to find his father, the town is full of people, quite ready to talk shit about pedro, but they are all dead. it’s an interesting setting with occasionally vivid writing, but the skips in time and character were kind of confusing and i lost my place a lot. i’d be interested in reading rulfo’s other major work, el llano en llamas. 2.5/5

verse für zeitgenossen, mascha kaléko short collection of the poems kaléko, a jewish german poet, wrote while in exile in the united states in the 30-40s, as well as some poems written after the end of ww2. kaléko’s voice is witty, but at turns also melancholy or satirical. as expected i preferred the pieces that directly addressed the experience of exile (”sozusagen ein mailied” is one of my favourite exillyrik pieces). 3/5

the harpy, megan hunter yeah this was boooooooring. the cover is really cool & the premise sounded intriguing (women gets cheated on, makes deal with husband that she is allowed to hurt him three times in revenge, women is also obsessed with harpies: female revenge & female monsters is my jam) but it’s literally so dull & trying so hard to be deep. 1.5/5

the liar’s dictionary, eley williams this is such a delightful book, from the design (those marbled endpapers? yes) to the preface (all about what a dictionary is/could be), to the chapter headings (A-Z words, mostly relating to lies, dishonesty, etc in some way or another, containing at least one fictitious entry), to the dual plots (intern at new edition of a dictionary in contemporary england checking the incomplete old dictionary for mountweazels vs 1899 london with the guy putting the mountweazels in), to williams’s clear joy about words and playing with them. there were so many lines that made me think about how to translate them, which is always a fun exercise. 3.5/5

catherine the great & the small, olja knežević (tr. from montenegrin by ellen elias-bursać, paula gordon) coming-of-age-ish novel about katarina from montenegro, who grows up in titograd/podgorica and belgrad in the 70s/80s, eventually moving to london as an adult. to be honest while there are some interesting aspects in how this portrays yugoslavia and conflicts between the different parts of yugoslavia, i mostly found this a pretty sloggy slog of misery without much to emotionally connect to, which is sad bc i was p excited for it :(. 2/5

the decameron project: 29 new stories from the pandemic, anthology a collection of short stories written during covid lockdown (and mostly about covid/lockdown in some way). they got a bunch of cool authors, including margaret atwood, edwidge danticat, rachel kushner ... it’s an interesting project and the stories are mostly pretty good, but there wasn’t one that really stood out to me as amazing. i also kinda wish more of the stories had diverged more from covid/lockdown thematically bc it got a lil repetitive tbh. 2/5

#the books i read #long post #sonnenfinsternis is so good the audiobook nearly made me cry in the supermarket

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naesoonghonors · 5 years

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Pans Labyrinth, Regression/maturity/death

“My mother told me never to trust fauns.” Growing up is not easy, particularly for girls. There is a shame and impurity associated with menstruation in popular culture. This makes a Jungian rejection of growing older unsurprising.

In Pans Labyrinth the Princess of the Underworld is reincarnated unto the earth as our protagonist Ofelia. After following a fairy into the woods she learns of her destiny by the titular Pan. She must complete 3 tasks as told to her by a book in order to be brought back to the underworld. Three tasks to be done before the full moon. A symbol of womanhood and association with menstruation. This fantastical framing is contrasted by the post Spanish civil war drama running concurrent to her struggles. Ofelia’s counterpoint is Mercedes, the servant of Ofelia’s new stepdad the Captain. He is a Fascist working to suppress a Guerilla force of Republicans working in the surrounding woods and mountain. Mercedes is a spy working for the Guerilla fighters in the woods, using her close position to the Captain to undermine him. Both Ofelia and Mercedes must both utilize their femaleness to fight battles for their respective missions. They both must work to take down a masculine force that overtakes the more free, natural, and feminine existence being abused and exploited.

Task 1: There is a beautiful lack of subtlety in the symbolism of the first task. Ofelia must feed a frog three stones in order to kill it, revive a fig tree and recover a key. She strips out of a dress chosen for her to impress and support her stepfather. She dirties the shoes she was expected to keep clean. A direct disobeying and rebelling of her position. She takes things used to oppress her and used them for her own good and gain. But I believe there is also symbolism in her mother giving her shoes to protect and bring her to her destiny. Her mother only married the Captain to keep her family safe. Her mother’s sacrifices and love give Ofelia these chances to escape and stay safe. This is very much in line with Ofelia’s current state of mind. She is told she is too old for fairy tales but insists on continued reading and following literal fairies’ tails. Ofelia is currently experiencing repression, A going back to a previous state. After Ofelia in undressed she enters the dying fig tree evoking the image of a womb and fallopian tube. Using the bugs around she tricks the gluttonous frog into eating the stones. After retrieving the key she leaves the Yonic tree, covered in the clay, mud and ‘afterbirth’ of the tree. This functions as a rebirth for Ofelia. She has taken control of her destiny and leaves her mother womb forced to face what is outside. Ofelia’s mother is getting sicker from her pregnancy, and there may come a time she no longer has any protection from the Captain. This feeding and opposing of a gluttonous frog is also reflecting in Mercedes journey. After the Captain kills what he thinks are lowly rebels, read: pests/insects/bugs, he their food taken off their corpses and fed to the base. Ofelia works to serve up the stew and takes care of the new rations being put away in a storage shed. The Captain takes what he thinks is the only copy but Mercedes who he thinks is a dumb woman keeps a spare with her. Mercedes has a plan to take the gluttons stores to help her own men. Both Mercedes and Ofelia have their key and are entering a more dangerous step in their journey. Fascism is eating up those less powerful, but this metaphor continues in Ofelias second task.

Task 2: Using the key and the feast. This task has the clearest connections between Ofelia and Mercedes. Ofelia must go into The Pale Man’s domain and use the key to retrieve a dagger. Ofelia must steal from a literal ‘white man’, a man who eats the young and hoards food. This is very representative of the Fascist Spain in this period. Just as the Captain keeps food from the real-life villager and takes from them the Pale man hoard food and eats children. The Captain limits down the towns people rations to one per family. He does this while also eating a large lavish feast with ‘important’ men. The machismo of these men is in stark contrast to the feminine and selfless portrayed by both heroines. These like all feminine traits in the move are portrayed positively while males in power are harsh. This interesting from a male director, but not unexpected from Guillermo Del Toro. There are brave and good men in this movie like the Republic fighters and the doctor but toxic masculinity walks hand in hand with power. Ofelia’s journey has progressed from the womb to the cusp of maturity. She is tempted like Eve in the Garden of Eden. She is tempted by the grapes and thus awakens the Pale Man. He hunts her down to eat her, but she escapes with the sacrifice of two fairy companions. Pan tells her this was a great mistake, that this has made her impure and mortal. This echoing a man slut shaming a young woman. Ofelia is on her own and in danger. Mercedes, her mother, and Pan are no longer there to save her. This is reflective of Mercedes and the Guerilla group. Mercedes give them the keys to the storage house and the guerilla fighters attack to steal and sabotage their supplies. Both sides engage in more warfare in the coming days and there are loses to both sides, but the guerilla suffers more. The Captain metaphorically eating these men like the Pale Man eats those children who enter his lair. Even when confronting Mercedes for being a traitor the Captain refuses to take a woman seriously and lets her remain being his maid. And this hubris will be his downfall. Just like Ofelia, Mercedes is exposed and in danger. She must work independently to save others.

Task 3: As the Captain closes in on the traitor Mercedes she attempts to escape with Ofelia. They are captured, unlike the men Mercedes is not killed right away, and Ofelia is just sent back to her room. The Captain does not see either of them as a threat, in deep contrast to his treatment of the male Republic members. This is his downfall. Ofelia in despair is visited by Pan and told to grab her brother and meet him in the Labyrinth. She runs to meet Pan being pursued by The Captain. Pan asks for her brother, saying he will only take a drop. He needs a drop of innocent blood, Ofelia is not innocent anymore, she was tempted and fell to the grapes in The Pale Mans feast. But Ofelia is strong of character. She refuses to shed the blood of her innocent brother. She knows he is innocent; her problems are not his fault and it is not right of her to risk ‘just one drop’. At this point The Captain catches up to Ofelia, takes his son and promptly shoots our protagonist to death. While the wound isn’t show blood is. This task culminates in blood and menstruation along with Ofelia’s death. Ofelia awakens in The Under World and approaches her family and Pan. Her third task was the ultimate show of feminine strength, she had to have been willing to spill her own blood in place of the innocent. In sad contrast to the real-world Ofelia is just another innocent tragedy of fighting. Thanks to The Captain’s sexism Mercedes is able to gather the rebel forces and take down the Fascist compound. In the theme of rebirth Mercedes takes the baby and has The Captain killed.

Both Mercedes and Ofelia work to break a cycle of toxic masculinity, despite how different their tasks seem at the start. Their feminine strength is a necessity in life just as the menstruation of a woman is necessary. Pans Labyrinths is a celebration of females and their strengths. If this is the type of movies you like I would suggest a look at the rest of Guillermo Del Toro’s filmography.

#Pans labyrinth #review #honors project

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basil-films · 4 years

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08-06-2020

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

i could cry tears of joy with this movie. it’s beyond anything i could’ve expected and more. the relationship between Clarice and Dr Lecter is peculiar to say the very least and i’d love to spit out some ideas about it on here.

A Climb to Success

we open to a scene of Clarice running up a hill, as a part of her completion of an obstacle course. throughout the film, we see her struggle to make it as a female FBI agent (trainee) amongst a sea of (literally) huge men. sexism quite obviously plays a part here, but so does Jodie Foster’s petit figure and 1.61m height - adorable. i highly doubt they would’ve been able to find a better Clarice for the part.

as an opening to the film, the physical expression of struggle in her face is absolutely perfect, cause it really perfectly sets the scene and hints at the difficult journey to FBI-ism for a woman in the 90′s.

Eye Contact

if you take a minute to notice the number of times men we deem to be in a higher position of authority than Clarice choose to make direct eye contact with the ‘camera.’ this is a slightly more indirect way of asserting dominance in a situation, as eye contact, regardless of if it’s in a film or in person, shows self confidence and determination. i forget his name, but Clarice’s boss was the first example i picked up. he would often enough only address Clarice through the lens of the camera, almost as if he’s dumbing this down for her and using eye contact as a way of checking she understands what he’s saying. this is kinda like the way a teacher will look at you when they’re explaining something for the third time and really slowing down for you. the fact that this only really happens with men in a higher ranking position within the FBI and Hannibal, goes to show that Hannibal, despite being a serial killer, is still a man worthy of respect, at least to Clarice.

alongside that, the eye contact suggests the story is being told from Clarice’s perspective and that everybody is talk to her.

The Big Bad Wolf

this is probably a stretch but hear me out:

HANNIBAL: May I see your credentials? Closer...closer.

this INSTANTLY reminded me of the Little Red Riding Hood story. at this point in the film, Hannibal is nothing but a mysterious figure to Clarice, so when he said this particular line while questioning her qualifications, my mind chose to connect it to the wolf from the big bad wolf from LRRH. personally, i think this is a pretty fair similarity and i’m convinced of its validity cause just think about it: as far as she’s concerned, he may as well eat her up, just like the wolf would’ve.

“Memory, Agent Starling, is what I have instead of a view.”

the one line that almost makes you feel some kind of pity towards face-eating Dr Lecter is this one. i say “almost” cause i don’t know you and you might still not care even after this, but i think it’s safe to assume it makes you feel something. the only thing Hannibal ever mentions wanting is a view to reference when drawing, instead of relying on a combination of his imagination and memory. all the man wants is a view, not even freedom, just a way of having a view. this seems to be his only weakness, as agent Starling later uses it to her advantage to bribe him into giving her more information, something that only just got past him since he is easily the most intelligent of all the characters.

HANNIBAL: Memory, agent Starling, is what i have instead of a view.

A Dangerous Game of Patience

this is another minor point, but i couldn’t help but notice how one of the most dangerous aspects of Hannibal’s personality is his patience. he’s been in that one room for so long at this point that he really has nothing else to lose. he plays this game of patience with Clarice as he reveals more and more about Buffalo Bill, almost as if he finds the situation amusing and like a good pastime. another memorable quote from Hannibal reads: “how much are you willing to wait?” absolutely terrifying, can you imagine a serial killer saying that to you? *shudders*

A Student // Teacher Relationship

an interesting perspective to look at Clarice’s relationship with Hannibal is the whole “student // teacher” exchange kinda way. in exchange for his (knowledge on Buffalo Bill and) wisdom, Clarice gives him something he wants, whether that be personal details about herself or a “view.” this exchange is noteworthy, as it’s the singular thing that makes an FBI trainee and a deadly face-eating dude equals.

it’s really interesting to watch their relationship unfold, especially while this remains the one consistent element throughout. everything else seems to be pretty unpredictable, can’t lie - but their student // teacher exchange is established from the beginning and doesn’t seem to change from start to finish.

The Pen of Intelligence

quite possibly one of the best scenes showcasing Hannibal’s character, the way he eyeballs the pen during his potential transfer really says it all and i love love love this scene for it. we never really know what’s going on in Dr Lecter’s head; however, his intentions were always clear. when he looks at the pen with such curiosity (yet determination), we suspect another brilliantly executed masterplan to take place. we were right. the way a man that’s quite literally being treated like a dangerous animal with his mouthguard and chains manages to plan his escape for a scenario he doesn’t even definitively know will take place is just another reminder of his intelligence. the pen is a symbol of this, with it’s basic appearance we don’t really suspect much of it, later finding out we really underestimated its capabilities - just like Hannibal. Dr Lecter is like a freckin pen and i love it.

Silence of the “Lambs”

the lamb story from Clarice is quite obviously where the title of the movie came from, but what does it mean?

first of all, the fact that the lamb story is one of the personal details Clarice is forced to reveal to Dr Lecter, despite being thoroughly warned ahead of time to refrain from mentioning anything personal, is a reminder of their peculiar relationship. think about it. isn’t it weird that one of the smartest people, let alone a woman *gasp*, decided to ignore all warnings and form a personal relationship with a face-eater? yeah, thought so. the personalness (i googled it that is in fact a real word) of the story is a direct reminder of their close relationship and is what makes the storyline that much more interesting.

now a closer look at the actual story behind the lambs. i’m not too sure if what i’m about to say makes any sense but this was my thought process: the lambs that were being ‘silenced’ via murder, symbolically represent the women being killed, and therefore also silenced, by Bill. while Hannibal and Clarice’s ever-developing relationship is a major part of the storyline, without the case regarding Buffalo Bill, it would all be nothing. the title is a direct reference to Bill’s torturous intentions.

another more literal side to the title comes from the whole ‘shearing women’s skin to make clothing,’ as one would with a lamb or a sheep. the women are just like the sheep, getting sheared for their ‘wool.’ hilarious right? it really is though. in fact, during her raid of Bill’s house, Clarice yells at the woman in the ditch(?) to shut up so she hunt down Bill before trying to help anybody else. this is her silencing the lamb.

Insecurity

one of the most important aspects of the entire film, yet the one i understood the least, was the root of Bill’s intentions with his skinning. on one hand, he’s a psychopath and literally one of the most damaged characters you’ll ever hear of in your life, fictional or real. on the other hand, there is a root cause of all this: insecurity (mixed with a bucketload of mental illness). Bill’s identity crisis and fragile relationship with his femininity is what leads him to literally strip women of their womanhood and keep it for himself. one of the few instances we see Bill expressing actual human emotion is when he was looking down at the girl he had trapped in his home and starts crying as she begs him to free her. Bill saw something in the girl that he presumably sees in himself, which is why the whole encounter was interestingly uncomfortable for him, despite being a serial killer. this all boils down to his insecurity with himself and is probably the root of all his problems.

Bill’s Green Goggles

one final point about Bill (as he’s easily my least favorite character in all this, what a psycho), has to do with his goggles. while he was scoping out his next victim AND trying to hunt down Clarice in the dark after she broke into his little messed up dungeon, he uses these green night vision goggles. yes, the green is merely a coincidence as most night vision goggles have this lens color; however, it’s worth noting the psychological side of this too. in films, most people automatically associate the color green with perseverance and envy. the only times Bill uses these goggles are quietly obviously to see in the dark, but these two occurrences also happen to be when he is at his most animal-like. he wants what the girls have, both physically and ‘socially.’ he wants their skins but he also wants their femininity and womanhood, something he clearly lacks. he envies them and the bright green of the goggles is a constant reminder of this insecurity.

#cinema #film #movie #film analysis #analysis #movie analysis #silence of the lambs #filmblr

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woman-loving · 5 years

Text

some thoughts on femininity

I start off with a long quote, so the whole thing is going under a cut.

There is a scene in the film The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, where the heroine’s mentor Effie Trinket is learning to adapt to her new life in the revolutionary compound of District 13. Previously an inhabitant of the wealthy Capitol area, Trinket has been forced to leave behind her old excessive style in favour of a grey jumpsuit, a uniform worn throughout the District. Cleaned of makeup and without her frilly dresses, Trinket retains only a set of bangles which she still wears and often touches wistfully. Her fellow District 13 comrades find Trinket’s attachment to these objects absurd, and she is met with derision. This response from her revolutionary companions calls to mind Germaine Greer’s assertion that “the women who dare not go outside without their fake eyelashes are in serious psychic trouble” (1970, 325). That Trinket’s affection for feminine accoutrements makes her the focus of ridicule illustrates an important conundrum. It begs the question: should we laugh and pity the Trinkets of the world “who dare not go outside” without their feminine accessories? Are Trinket’s bracelets symbolic manacles? Or should we sit awhile, and wonder why these attachments might remain in the face of strong suggestions from others that liberation can be found in throwing such objects away? This leads to the central question: how can we consider femininity in a way that best attends to people’s experiences of, and attachment to, feminine styles?

Looking to both popular and scholarly feminist commentary over history we see that feminine styles of the body are often not merely understood as the effect of an oppressive gender system, but rather are seen to perpetuate and maintain this system. So the dominant theory goes: if a woman fails to reject those bodily expectations of the gender regime, she is part of the problem. I do not wish to deny that there are norms and expectations that shape the way that we are expected to appear and present ourselves in the world. Indeed, at times this regime is a punishing one. Women are expected to put an enormous amount of energy and money into their appearance, in order to be understood as “respectable”, “beautiful”, and “sexy”. The effort required to produce feminine aesthetics is increasingly being discussed in terms of labour (Baker 2016, 52). Furthermore,successfully achieving various looks for different contexts is no easy task. To wholeheartedly celebrate the various aspects of appearance which often constitute what is recognised as “feminine” �� including makeup, clothing, hairstyling, and so on – would be to deny the daily experiences of women who are compelled to conform to particular styles in both the private and the public sphere.

For these reasons, I do not wish to celebrate femininity as something that should be seen as necessarily empowering nor inherently “good”. However, I do seek to intervene in the idea that political transformation can or should be affected at the level of appearance and identity. That is to say, I argue that femininity is not necessarily disempowering, nor inherently “bad”. Those aspects of feminine styling that may for some people feel cruel or laboursome may at other times or for other people be a source of pleasure or, indeed, may be central to their sense of identity and belonging. [...]

That gender expectations are contextual and change over history and location also reveals that it is not the specific elements of what we designate as “feminine” in appearance that are innately problematic, but rather what is arduous is being compelled to conform to expectations. While women of one era might define long dresses as oppressive, another might see miniskirts in the same way depending on the specifics of the disciplinary regime at the time. Another clear example of this is currently the colour pink, which is discussed in some detail in chapter two : pink is not inherently bad, but functions today as a symbol of girlhood. While many reject pink for the gender normativity it represents, at times the debate gets mired in making pink the problem rather than seeing the real issue as the system that merely encourages the use of pink as a signifier. [...]

--Hannah McCann, Queering Femininity: Sexuality, Feminism, and the Politics of Presentation, 2018

This is an excerpt from the introduction of a book that I was looking through, just because I was hoping it would annoy me into writing something. I have a bit of a bias against using "femininity" as a category of analysis; I fear that people are going to use this concept imprecisely, leaving it vague and relying on unspoken, preexisting connections between femininity, womanhood, and female to suggest its meaning. However, I haven't actually read much theorization on femininity or femme-ness, so I don't know for sure what this book is going to argue; I read another theoretical article on femme just before this and it seemed to be going in some interesting directions (building off other queer and feminist theorizing). But still I want to share some of the thoughts and concerns I have going into this topic, acknowledging that other people may very well be saying the same sort of thing, and that this isn't original to me.

First of all, I want to give my own, very rough working explanation of "femininity" (or at least one angle of it), which would go something like this: femininity names the quality of womanliness, or the range of physical characteristics, styles, mannerisms, interests, work, etc that are imagined to be the natural expression of womanhood. In other words, "femininity" and womanhood are tied together through an essentialist logic, one which also locates womanhood and its expression (femininity) in "the female body." (I will use "the female body" here to indicate another construction.) The reference point for all this that I'm thinking about here is specifically Western European constructions of womanhood, femininity, and the female body, and how these are constructed through race, class, ability, sexuality, and other factors.

While we've come to speak about femininity as something independent from being woman or "female"--as that which has simply been "traditionally associated" with women--I think this is the logic behind that "association." To be feminine is to be "womanly." One concern I have with using "femininity" as a analytic category is that... so long as the reference point for understanding the meaning of "feminine" is an essentialist logic of womanhood, we risk carrying over this logic uncritically, and reproducing it even where we claim to have severed it off. How can we talk about both "womanliness" as an independent expression that can be found in people of any gender and also "women" as a group that can have a full range of possible expressions?

Going back to my explanation of femininity and the broader gender logic of which its a part, another point that needs to be made is that... while ideal (meaning: white, middle-class, able-bodied, cis) women and womanliness are seen as fundamentally distinct from men and manliness, these categories are not as separate in this scheme as would appear. These values of male-man-manly and female-woman-womanly interpenetrate one another and can be quite mobile. Womanly characteristics can be found in a man; male traits identified on the female body. This mobility actually helps preserve the underlying essentialist logic. For example, we might understand a brave woman as expressing a manly characteristic, rather than questioning the notion that bravery is fundamentally male (and therefore an aberration in women) or that the real, essential man is brave. (This is touched on a little bit here, too.)

Moving on.

So, we have this introduction that starts out with considering the reception of Effie in The Hunger Games, and what Effie misses when she's in District 13, and what she's sneered at for being attached to, is identified as "femininity."

It's been a lot time since I read or watched The Hunger Games, but surely it would be accurate to say that what Effie is missing is a particular style, particular accouterments, a fashion; these are what the author here identifies as "femininity." And that's not wrong, exactly, but there are other ways of naming this. Lemme turn to a quote I saved from another book I read:

In spite of their differences in education, wealth, and social standing, most of the [Victorian] bourgeoisie resembled one another in dress, habits of speech, and deportment. Bourgeois men dressed somberly, in dark colors, avoiding any outward signs of luxury. Their clothing fit closely and lacked decoration—a symbolic adjustment to the machine age, in which elaborate dress hampered activity. It also reflected a conscious attempt to emphasize achievement-oriented attitudes, and new standards for what constituted honorable manhood. Through dress and other fashionable tastes, middle classes distinguished themselves from what they viewed as a decadent and effeminate nobility.

Bourgeois conventions regarding women’s dress were the opposite of men’s, further reinforcing gender distinctions—women’s clothing became the material symbol of male success. Extravagant amounts of colorful fabrics used to fashion huge, beribboned hoop dresses reflected the newfound wealth of the middle classes and confirmed their view of women as ornaments whose lives were to be limited to the home and made easier by servants.

--Western Civilization: Beyond Boundaries, Thomas F. X. Noble, et al., 6th ed., 2010

Ok, now this is where all my thoughts start to get scrambled together. Let's see in what order all my points will wind up.

So what appears to be happening here is the emergence of two fashion genres (to use a term from the previous femme article I read) within the white Victorian bourgeoisie. (Is that the same thing as middle class?) And these are shaped to express one of two sets of contradictory values held by the bourgeoisie. And while it's reasonable to assume that bourgeois women would also hold and reproduce these values, I expect that these social trends were largely shaped by white bourgeois men, and that both sets of values reflected their own interests. In other words, it's not that bourgeois men held one set of values and bourgeois women the other, and each were allowed to develop fashions as suited their own (singular) preferences. Rather, bourgeois men valued both somberness and display of wealth through luxury, and wished to express both, and resolved this contradiction by externalizing one of these value sets onto women. They were able to have their cake and eat it too: they could express esteemed middle-class values as a part of their manhood, while also getting the benefits of the values they decried: extravagance, excess, luxury, ornamentation--all foisted onto women, whose fashions were imagined as deriving from an essential womanly disposition that naturally gravitated to such qualities. I.e. women's femininity.

AND LEAST THAT'S HOW I'M READING THIS. I haven't looked into the development of these fashions beyond the quote from the book. So, if that's correct.

The use of The Hunger Games to illustrate the reception to women's attachment to "feminine" styles is odd, because the fashions of the Capitol must also be sharped by class values. Popular fashion in the Capitol appears to be characterized by exaggeration, excess, and flamboyance, a display of luxury which resonates with what the Capitol represents in the series.

HOWEVER. The Capitol does not seem to have markedly distinct genres of fashion for men and women. Let me qualify that. Just looking at these pictures, the few men who appear are less... excessive, but still notably flamboyant. (Two more examples.) It's been quite a while since I read the books or watched the movies, so I don't remember exactly how gender appeared to be constructed in the Capitol. But I'd posit that the difference in degree of excess between men and women here results from the fact that these fashions are built on the base of real-world fashions, where those for men and women have had different trajectories. Perhaps we could say, though, that the same basic concept lies behind all fashion in the Capitol, and imagine that the spirit behind Suzanne Collins' vision of the Capitol might be more "ideally" represented by a world where the forms of Capitol fashion were not gender-specific.

In that case, extravagant fashion is not specifically womanly. It might make more sense to speak of Effie not as missing the accouterments of "femininity," but more specifically the accouterments of a fashion characterized by exaggeration, excessive ornamentation, or however we might describe it. These fashions might be intimately tied to her identity and sense of embodiment, without primarily being understood as an expression of a uniquely womanly quality. Where, then, does the concept of "femininity" fit into it?

Moving on from The Hunger Games, the suggestion I'd like to make is that, rather than using a vague notion of "femininity," we attempt to be more precise in naming the contents of "femininity." By utilizing categories like "extravagance" or "flamboyance" (or perhaps other, better terms), we can uproot the characteristics that make up "femininity" from their presumed location in womanly nature. We can connect them as well to “manly” expressions of these same qualities, and perhaps note a range of similarities and differences in how they are socially received depending on the gender, race, class, etc of the subject in which they appear. This is not to say that we should ignore how certain things are gendered, or how people do in fact adopt certain styles as a way to express or embody their gender. This can/should still be part of the analysis. But expanding the repertoire of categories used to name what we mean by "femininity" might help us avoid over-determining the significance of gender, which can be a pitfall when the subjects under consideration are viewed as markedly gendered. (I complained about an example of this.)

(I suppose I'm basically describing a method of analysis that evacuates the category of femininity. I remember once, in a discussion of Buddhism, the concept of non-self (anatta) was illustrated by saying "a flower is made up entirely of non-flower parts." In this case, "femininity" or womanliness is made up entirely non-woman(ly) parts. So what are those parts?)

I also want to comment on something McCann said in the last paragraph of that first quote. She said that the elements designated as "feminine" are not innately problematic, but become so when they are compelled to be adopted. I’d agree that it’s a problem when these elements are compulsory (especially if they tend to require greater time, labor, expense, and self-monitoring to embody). However, the contents of "femininity" may in fact be problematic within the social context in which they are developed. Returning to that second quote, the ornateness of bourgeois women's fashion was problematic in its own right because it contradicted another, more centrally affirmed set of bourgeois values.

Now, I'm not sure what is the best way to name the characteristics that are identified as "feminine," but one common complaint against certain "feminine" clothing or processes is that they are impractical and unnecessary. And when women specifically are compelled to adopt styles that are impractical for a wider range of situations, it makes sense to complain about that. However, what may be needed to defuse tensions around "femininity" is not just a rethinking of the meaning or value of womanhood (e.g. what women "should" look like), but also a rethinking of the value of “impracticality.” A rethinking of forms of expression (and the labor they entail) that serve no purpose other than meeting an aesthetic or bodily goal, one which may be attained at the expense of practicality, efficiency, or frugality.

At the same time, even here we can't look at this question outside the interlocking context of sexism, misogyny, racism, classism, et al, since these determine which forms of expression that might in fact be impractical (toward a certain goal) actually get identified as impractical or unnecessary. It just goes to show how multiple approaches are needed, since these phenomena are complex.

Fin.

#femininity

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homenum-revelio-hq · 5 years

Photo

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Beth!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character ARTEM TREBLAY with the faceclaim of Kristen Stewart! We enjoyed how to incorporated the game-canon veela lore into your application, while also keeping Artem within their own person. We’re very interested in having a character on the dash that is a bit controversial in relationship to the Order, especially with the most recently mission failing. We’re looking forward to seeing Artem’s decisions regarding this and appreciated your attention to detail throughout your application.

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Beth

AGE: 24

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: You can see my current activity with Sirius. I will dip slightly once the semester kicks back in, but I don’t think I will struggle.

ANYTHING ELSE: Nothing here.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Artem Nikita Tremblay – When Artem was ready to rid themself of their family’s influence, they didn’t initially know where to begin on a new name that felt more like them. They threw themselves into researching Slavic names for a piece of family origin to replace the British feminine name they’d been saddled with. Artem felt fitting for a few reasons. It sounded nice, it means “unharmed” which they’d like to pretend they escaped as, and it was a dedication to Artemis. As a child, they’d often heard to be ladylike, and Artemis quickly because their favorite example of a badass lady who didn’t sit still and let things be done to her. She was active, a hunter, and uninterested in becoming a perfect wife. All of that seemed perfect to Artem. Nikita was another neutral name they found and liked for a middle name. When possible, they put “Artem Nikita” as their full name and drop their family name.

AGE: 27 (December 14, 1954)

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY:

Agender; Prefers both he/him and they/them and would accept other pronouns as long as the user avoids she/her; Sexually Fluid, but Artem is apprehensive to follow through with the attraction he feels. He has a complicated relationship with his body and isn’t in a hurry to bring someone else into the mix. He’s had some experiences with kissing and intimacy but never with heavy touching or clothing removal because he’s never trusted anyone enough to take further steps.

Gender is a complex notion for Artem tied up in his veela heritage. I’m going to quote Ky from a conversation we had about the character as someone “in whom you’ve worked together a disconnect with their assigned gender and with their veela heritage/aspects, when both that assigned gender and veela heritage/aspects are valued for qualities, physical, emotional, etc, that Artem doesn’t feel at home in.” Artem’s perception of being female is very tied to the traditionally feminine values of pureblood society, and while he has worked to disconnect them in adulthood, he is still working past the connection society places on that femininity and his veela heritage. Both are expected to be charming, graceful, beautiful, serene, and docile unless pushed to the point of breaking. Artem doesn’t want to be any of that, and in rejecting that narrow feminine mold, he also rejected being veela. The difference is that while Artem is not female and has since learned to see other aspects of womanhood in people who don’t fit his mother’s ideals, he cannot fully split himself from being veela because he is whether he likes it or not.

BLOOD STATUS: Half-Veela

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor—Not so much the chivalry, but they’re bold and brash and won’t sit idly if there’s something they can do

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Artem has spent a lot of time figuring out how to be comfortable in his own skin. Artem was sick of being underestimated by people who took one look at him and assumed he couldn’t hold his own. Artem was determined to change that. They started working out religiously, and once they had the opportunity, they began boxing in a muggle club and got good at it. If people commented on their perception of Artem as female, well, Artem hit those people harder to give them the embarrassment of being not only beaten but beaten soundly by someone they saw as a girl. The regulars didn’t care. The regulars saw Artem as a badass who didn’t like to lose, and they could respect that. He liked the way it felt to fight, to be in control of his own body and his situation. He liked being respected, and being able to defend himself the muggle or magical way has been a huge step forward for him.

He’s still not to 100% comfort, but he’s in a much better place than he used to be. Even when they were struggling most, though, Artem met life with strong determination and confidence. They’d like to believe they can talk their way out of any situation without using veela charm, and while they will get out of it without charm, they’re more likely to turn to a punch or a hex as a means of escape. Still, they have a strong sense of self-preservation and are pretty good about reading a room and getting out of a situation before it goes south. Unless they open their mouth.

When Artem has a good line, he’ll usually say it first and then have to deal with the consequences. Because of this, he’s had to work hard to develop to develop better control. Couple with his tendency to keep people at a distance to avoid rejection, he comes off as quite aloof at times. He doesn’t open up easily because even the people he trusts have hurt him so much. Even when he lets people close, it’s usually while he is serving some kind of role. For example, he has close work relationships with a few of the dancers, but that is while he plays protector, not while he strips the layers away. He has a hard time being vulnerable around people and is okay with that. People don’t need to see his vulnerability.

In a fit of anger at someone making veela comments in class seventh year, Artem marched back up to his dorm, borrowed a classmate’s razer and shaved his head. It was incredibly freeing, and they’ve kept it shaved ever since, one less signal to the world of their veela heritage. Their mother cried when she saw them at Christmas. Artem returned the small collection of decorative combs she’d slowly been passing over. While it further damaged their relationship with their mother, that moment and the resulting calm was proof to Artem that they maybe did want to be more masculine. If taking on a “male” haircut made them feel good, why couldn’t they do that in general? In those early days, Artem bought Polyjuice and used it to try out being different people to see how it felt. They only impersonated a woman once, and the lack of muscle definition that they’d work so hard to create made them end up shaking in a corner until it wore off. They’d been trying to figuring out what it would be like to be comfortable with their prettiness. Clearly that didn’t work because Artem got the woman’s body but not her confidence in it. They were still themself. They used the rest of the Polyjuice to try out being different cismen, but even those moments only reinforced to Artem that they didn’t want that for themself. They missed the comfort they had in their own skin, and the change in anatomy felt foreign and wrong. Clearly masculinity and the things associated with it are a cloak Artem likes to wear, but the male body is not.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

The Tremblay family was once incredibly offended to be left out of the Sacred 28, but a recent halfblood in one branch of the family was enough to exclude them. They have since continued to married in some halfbloods when they haven’t been considered good enough for pureblood matches, but most family members would argue they should be considered pureblood. They have the money and the influence of a proper pureblood family but not quite the title.

Pearce and Alanna Tremblay both came from highly respected families. Alanna technically married down from her pureblood family because the Burke’s pureblood claim is still substantiated from that golden list the Tremblays didn’t make, but she didn’t consider it a step down. Pearce and Alanna were not a love match by any means, but their partnership has always been one of close fondness, and they quickly grew to love each other.

The couple had power and a lot of inherited money, but they initially had trouble conceiving and carrying a child to term. When Alanna finally gave birth to Douglas, they were elated and initially said they would be done having children, despite both wanting a large family. When she accidentally became pregnant five years later, Alanna refused to put her own health first, and she and Pearce began planning for the perfect little girl to add to their family.

Instead they got Ellwood. On one hand, it was more reassurance of their family line because they now had two male heirs to carry on the family line. On the other, they really wanted their perfect little girl. Pearce suggested perhaps they add to their family through more unconventional means that both wouldn’t be hard on Alanna’s body and would promise them their perfect little girl: they could adopt a halfveela. It was surprisingly simple to adopt internationally from Yugoslavia, and soon they had their beautiful child who Alanna proceeded to groom into all the refinement and expectations of a proper pureblood lady, never letting the child forget how much simpler it all was when blessed with veela gifts like grace, charm, and beauty that most pureblood girls would kill for.

That child wasn’t a girl, though, pureblood or otherwise. It took a long time for Artem to figure out exactly why they felt so uncomfortable with their mother’s expectations, and in some ways, they’re still parsing it out. All Artem knew for sure was that he felt the freest when allowed to run along behind his brothers. He and Ellie got into all kinds of trouble together, trouble than Douglas was quick to tattle about. Although it had taken a couple years for the Tremblay’s paperwork to clear and for all the proper money to be given where it needed to, Artem came to them as a toddler only a few months younger than Ellwood. When they eventually reached Hogwarts, the two were in the same year, although Ellwood went to Hufflepuff; neither of them followed Douglas’ lead into Slytherin.

It was to Ellie that Artem first admitted their confusion about not feeling like a girl but also not feeling like a boy. Ellie was also confused but mostly supportive, and he joined them in the library to find any scrap of information about people like Artem. He was with them as they tried out new names that felt more comfortable, and he stood by their side when in the summer after sixth year, they finally told Douglas. Douglas didn’t take it well and further alienated his sibling by immediately telling their parents and taking away Artem’s ability to do so. That led to shouting from all five family members and crying from everyone except Douglas. Artem had never seen their father cry before, and they pulled him into a tight hug as he bumbled through apologies for anything he’d ever done to hurt them. Alanna never apologized. Artem didn’t expect her to. Douglas never apologized either. Artem pretends not to care.

Contrary to their fears of family rejection, Artem was not thrown out by their family. Their mother hasn’t quite forgiven him for rejecting her teachings and gifted name, but even she is happy to have him stop by for dinner (although she frequently slips on both name and pronouns). The rest of his family still supports him, but Artem really doesn’t want anything to do with them, especially when he knows everyone except Ellie uses his deadname when he isn’t around to argue about it). He’s rejected his family over and over, only crawling back when he’s really scraped for money. The one person he sees somewhat regularly is Ellie, who still meets Artem for coffee once a week like clockwork. The only person he avoids unless absolutely necessarily is Douglas. Artem can’t bring himself to forgive his brother, and Ellie agrees that it’s justified.

OCCUPATION: Artem is a bouncer at Ganymede’s Gentleman’s Club. They got the job because the owners liked the idea of a veela being able to intervene in many situations to handle them discreetly. That said, Artem doesn’t use their charm ever if they can help it. Most of the time at work, they wouldn’t want to anyway. Why charm someone who cheated at cards into leaving when Artem can drag them out by their collar instead? And on the same token, Artem isn’t going to do anything to make more pleasant the throwing out of someone who tried to take advantage of a dancer. That person is going to wake up outside by the street with a splitting headache and a new black eye.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Artem had heard whisper of the Order for years, of course, and while Connor thought he was sneaky, using the rooms a sort of halfway house was bound to attract a little attention. Even before they’d really known why, they’d helped cover for his guests. As of a few months ago, Artem began hearing whispers of the Order helping relocate werewolves trying to avoid You-Know-Who. That was the final step for them as Artem decided they couldn’t stand by any longer.

Artem doesn’t necessarily like or even trust the Order, but if they win, the most likely outcome is that nothing changes in the abysmal way halfbreeds are treated. If the Death Eaters win, though, Artem knows the likelihood of being treated like absolute dirt or even chased out of England is high. It was a calculated risk of standing by and waiting for things to get worse or at least trying to keep things steady. They have no illusions about any of these human wix caring about them, as is proven by comments lumping in all halfbreeds with werewolves. Artem doesn’t necessarily have problems with werewolves (although he hates that they are able to pretend most of the time to be normal and to have people not immediately point to their hair or grace or beauty as othering things), but he will not pretend that their needs are the same as his. They aren’t even close.

The botched mission at the Nott Estate confirmed some of Artem’s worst fears: that the Order doesn’t really know what they’re doing and that they’re losing badly. He’s stuck here for now, but he’s already looking for an escape route. He wants to help, but not at his own expense. He’s not sticking his neck out to protect humans who don’t care about him.

SURVIVAL:

Complicated as things are, Artem loved his family, even Douglas. That said, he’s always put himself first since before he graduated from Hogwarts. For those first few years, Artem disappeared into the muggle world and barely checked in with Ellie, much less anyone else. When he realized he missed magic too much to stay away, Artem came crawling back with a little resentment that he ended up back at home for a few months while he figured out a new apartment and wizarding job. His mother was appalled when he started working at Ganymede’s. That only made it better.

Artem isn’t the best with money, but they can be mostly self-sufficient. They’re blessed that even when their family doesn’t approve of Artem’s choices, Artem can still stop by when things get tight and he’s looking for a new place. Currently he lives in an apartment above a shop in Diagon Alley, but it’s a place he doesn’t really spend a ton of time. They don’t really bring people over much, partially because Artem doesn’t like people to feel that familiar with them if they can help it, but it isn’t a complete disaster.

Should things go south with the Order, Artem does believe they could probably disappear again into the muggle world. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve vanished.

RELATIONSHIPS:

AINSLEY ABBOTT: Artem never quite knew how to classify Ainsley, and he appreciated her greatly for it. They’d met for the first time in the Hogwarts Library because she was in the middle of some grand theory that her audience clearly didn’t care about. Artem listened carefully from over by the stacks, and at the end of her theory, went, “But what about…” and completely undermined her idea. She loved it, and the two soon developed of habit of spiraling back and forth. Artem couldn’t begin to keep up on the theories, but he loved to argue and could logic his way through most. Ainsley is one of the few people he lets win.

CONFIDENCE BROWN. Artem figured he would gain some friends through work, but he never expected to get along so well with someone that they’d call him their work spouse. But that’s the case with Connor. Connor is also one of the few people that Artem will fully loosen up around. Connor’s habit of flirting with everyone means that he’s a harmless person to banter with, and Artem is able to keep some of those conversation skills alive through empty flirting with Connor. Plus, Connor’s flair for dramatics means that he keeps people happy. He’s the kind of person Artem likes to be around.

CARADOC DEARBORN. Artem had always been used to trailing after Ellwood, and while they had their own friends at Hogwarts, it was hard to adjust to giving him up to people like Caradoc. Through Ellie, Caradoc and Artem did spend some time together, but they were never really friends. Ellie had asked Artem after they’d settled on “not-girl” pronouns if he could share that information with Caradoc, and while it had made Artem apprehensive, they had agreed. It’s with a certain fondness now that they recall Caradoc never messing up once he knew.

JAMES POTTER and LUCINDA TALKALOT. Artem only barely remembered James or Lucinda at all before joining the Order. They’d been kids together technically, forced to go to the same boring social events by their parents, but Artem had a few years on both that made it hard to relate. They did end up stuck together sometimes by simple nature of being somewhat close in age, although Artem was happy to let Ellwood have James. Ellie was good at accepting tagalongs, even if it did hurt when the mood became boys only. Sometimes they resented the mothers pushing Artem and Lucinda together, but at least Luci wasn’t the simpering little thing she could have been. As an adult, Artem doesn’t know how to feel about James being one of the decisionmakers for the Order when she still remembers him as a little kid with big eyes and unruly hair. His hair is still unruly. Her feelings about Lucinda aren’t quite as strong, but in many ways, it’s like starting over.

ARCHIBALD MACMILLAN. Artem has never liked Archie, and it’s not his fault. As a child, Artem was constantly reminded of their future duties as a perfect pureblood wife, and because they were the same age and would attend Hogwarts together, Archie was a common target for their mother’s musing. He was pureblood and seemed like the kind of person Artem could easily persuade. When the two were thrown together, it was always awkward and stiff, and it came to a great relief to Artem when his attention fixed on Isla. He may have called her a best friend, but Artem saw the writing on the wall long before their engagement was public. If they still resent him a little, well, it’s because Artem still has to hear from their mother how they squandered that opportunity.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Artem/Chemistry for sure. I will reiterate that sex is a complicated thing for Artem, and he is likely to avoid any kind of physicality unless he trusts someone completely.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Artem’s spent the last ten-ish years in the process of trying to untwine their hatred for the being halfveela from the very specific lens of what it means to be female that was shoved down their throat as a child. They will never truly be able to separate them completely, although Artem is at a place where they can acknowledge that female means a lot of things beyond that narrow definition. The halfveela traits are harder to get around because if being female means more than being the perfect pureblood lady, being halfveela seems to immediately point back to that. Veela beauty, charm, grace, elegance… These are all things Artem has worked and worked on to try and overcome. He has these things naturally and doesn’t want them because they point back to that person he has never been.

Other people seem to have a harder time overlooking those Veela traits, though, and Artem has had to put up with a lot of it. He’s watched as halfveela are held up as a positive example but only seen them being pushed down in practice. The worst days at Ganymede’s are when he steps in to escort out some drunk asshole who assumes the pretty veela boy is available. The first time it happened, Artem beat the man bloody and almost got hired. His boss chewed him out to no end, and when Artem explained what had happened to defend himself, he was told that was to be expected for someone like him.

Unsurprisingly Artem doesn’t trust fully human wix in the slightest. Humans always put themselves first, and Artem isn’t about to do differently. They won’t go out of their way to avoid people, but they definitely try not to put themself in potentially harmful situations that they can’t fight their way out of. They’ve heard more than empty promises about making life better for halfbreeds, and it often isn’t anything actually helpful to them personally. In some ways, Artem is sympathetic to muggleborns, but he doesn’t overly care about their situation. Obviously he grew up in a household where pureblood and high halfblood wix were held up as the shining standard, but he didn’t hear a lot of direct hate. He’s ambivalent in a world that says it’s impossible not to have an opinion, but Artem has bigger battles.

Artem wouldn’t consider themself prejudice against werewolves, but they’ve got some resentment. On one hand, Artem isn’t usually called a monster. Veela are vilified sometimes, but it’s not the excessive demonizing rhetoric that werewolves have. They know most werewolves probably consider halfveela lucky. But werewolves only change one night a month. The rest of the time they can hide. Artem has never wanted anything so desperately as the ability to just stop being halfveela, to no longer have people stare at them on the streets. Artem can’t hide being halfveela, and werewolves can hide their affliction just fine most of the time. They may all be considered halfbreeds, but their needs are not the same.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I have a lot of passionate for this character and can’t wait to see how their personality meshes on the dash, especially when they have a lot of potential to clash and kind of sort of want some closer people in their life.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: I would love to see some kind of anti-veela or anti-halfbreed sentiment stirring up trouble.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Headcanon: Artem’s current wand is their second. When Artem and their mother went shopping for school supplies that first time, their mother insisted that Artem only be given wands with veela hair cores. None were particularly strong, and the wandmaker tried to talk her out of it. She refused, and Artem ended up with a temperamental wand that they never quite understood. That following summer, Artem snapped the wand out of anger during an argument over their grades, declaring that if their mother had let a wand actually choose Artem, they would be able to control their magic just fine. After spending the summer unable to so much as go outside with Ellie, Artem was allowed to go wand shopping with no restrictions. The wand they ended up with was a short unyielding fir wand with a dragon heartstring core. It has never given them the problems that the veela wand did. Just one more reasons Artem is sure being a veela was never mend to be part of who they are.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/01iTQnHaK284S0AUpvlF6d?si=gEbeARfpSjqjlj6JWgJnOA

https://www.pinterest.com/myrpboards/artem-nikita/

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST: After giving birth to two perfectly good heirs but not quite being healthy enough to risk another pregnancy, the halfblood but highly regarded Tremblay family adopted a halfveela as a way to promise themselves a perfect daughter to raise to pureblood standards. Clearly some promises are meant to be broken because they got Artem, who grew up knowing that the expectations thrust on them were not what they wanted but not initially realizing why. Once at Hogwarts, Artem realized fully that they didn’t want to be a girl but that being a boy felt wrong too. Their brother Ellwood was always supportive of them, and even the rest of their traditional wannabe pureblood family reacted better than Artem would have expected. That didn’t stop them from disappearing after graduation. Artem plunged into the muggle world for a few years, and while it was an extreme culture shock, they ended up in the growing gay community of Muggle London. It was a good place to be with people who helped Artem feel like they didn’t belong in their own skin. That’s also where they picked up boxing, something that changed Artem’s life. They felt positively about their magic, but the physical ability to take action and feel capable no matter the situation or if they had a wand felt more freeing than anything. Technically Artem could have used their Veela charm in those situations, but Artem never used it if they could help it. They felt strong, physically and more mentally than they had in years, but it was time to acknowledge that they couldn’t stay away from the magical community where they had their roots. They missed too much.

PRESENT: Now that they are back in the magical world, Artem deals more directly with that Veela heritage they’ve always tried to ignore. Muggles usually couldn’t put into words those halfveela traits, if they noticed them at all. Wix aren’t like that, and as far as Artem in concerned, most are far too bold it pointing them out. Artem doesn’t really believe the magical community can do better, but they definitely believe it can do worse. They joined the Order not because they believed in it, but because they were more concerned by the idea that Voldemort might win. What they’ve seen thus far from the Order hasn’t instilled much confidence in Artem that he won’t win anyway. Artem is starting from the bottom as a newcomer, and they’re not sure how much people trust them. That said, they don’t necessarily want to rise. They want to show up, do what must be done, and get out of there. Occasionally based on things that are said, though, Artem can’t help wanting to interject and have more of a voice. They may not be the most dedicated Order member, but if they’re here, Artem is going to try and do things right.

FC CHOICES: In order of preference: Kristen Stewart, Brie Larson, Jamie Clayton, Asia Kate Dillon

I know Brie Larson and Kristen Stewart are both cisgender, but they are blonde (I’d be using Kristen’s more recent looks of the blonde pixie cut and shaved head), have an athletic look, and the right vibe that I’m going for. Brie has the toughness and easy confidence. Kristen has the general energy level and the perfect haircut. Asia Kate Dillon is nonbinary, and Jamie Clayton is a transgender woman. Between those two, I like Jamie’s energy a little bit better.

The trickiness with fcs is that Artem’s veela genetics means there is always going to be a certain level of what people associate as feminine beauty to them, no matter what they do. So they’re strong, have no hair, and generally dress in masculine clothing, but it does still happen that they are misgendered. The fc balance for that is something I’m toying with as to how to keep feminine features in a way that feels like his has the edges and physical strength needed. Brie seems to epitomize this the most, although Kristen’s hair is why I edged her slightly above in my preferences.

#homenumaccepted #hp rp #hp rpg #marauders rp #hp roleplay

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shivaom99 · 5 years

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The Beautiful & Enigmatic Mystic of India: Sri Anandamayi Ma :

The Early Life of Sri Ma

The Divine Life Society described Sri Anandamayi Ma as “the most perfect flower the Indian soil has ever produced.” Born in a small village in Bengal on April 30, 1896, her parents named her Nirmala Sundari Devi, which means ‘immaculate beauty’. She came to be recognized as a powerful expression of the Divine and throughout India was regarded with great affection and reverence by people of all faiths. In the 1920s, her devotees began to refer to her as Anandamayi Ma, meaning ‘Joy Permeated Mother’, a name that acknowledged the bliss and unattached love that was her natural and constant state. Over the course of her life she attracted many thousands of devotees; among them Mahatma Gandhi, and Kamala Nehru.

As a child, Sri Ma’s parents observed their daughter experiencing states of apparent ecstasy, especially on hearing devotional songs sung by her Brahman father. In her village she was known to be a cheerful child who never complained about the work assigned to her and was always willing to help others in any way she could. Nirmala attended the local village school for just two years.

In keeping with tradition, Nirmala’s marriage was arranged when she was just 13. She went to live in her brother-in-laws home where life was more disciplined and a good deal of domestic work was expected of her. Despite this, she remained good-humored and never complained. In fact, her uninterrupted state of serenity and often withdrawn meditative states gave her new family cause to wonder if she may be a bit simple minded. It was some time before those around her began to appreciate that her lack of self-concern and limitless compassion for others was an outward expression of her spiritual maturity and not a mental defect. A devout neighbor named Harakumar, in recognizing this divine quality, made a habit of visiting her morning and night to pay his respect. He began to address her as Ma, or mother.

Sri Anandamayi Ma - The Indian Saint

Celibacy and Spiritual Practice

When Nirmala was 18 she went to live with her husband in Ashtagram. Her husband, who she came later to call Bholanath, soon realized that their marriage was to be a celibate one. Whenever he began to feel amorous towards his wife, Sri Ma would grow faint and her beautiful face assumed a deathly pallor. Accounts from friends and neighbors indicate that Bholanath accepted this situation without bitterness and came to consider his role as one of guardian of a remarkable treasure rather than husband in the traditional sense.

In August, 1922, at midnight during a full moon, Nirmala, at age 26, began spiritual practice in full earnestness. Without guru, she initiated herself, following her own inner guru, or sadguru. Bholanath witnessed Nirmala become absorbed in a world of inner joy, assume yogic postures, repeat mantras and move rhythmically in a vibrant dance that seemed directed by an other-worldly power. Onlookers noted a distinct radiance that emanated from her body. It was suggested by Bholanath’s family that he remarry, but instead he asked for initiation. A friend of Bholanath’s demanded evidence that she was qualified to provide spiritual initiation at which point she touched Bholanath on the head. In his words, at the touch of her finger, he experienced a state of ineffable, divine bliss that lasted for several hours.

For nearly six years Nirmala continued her sadhana or spiritual practices, her Divine presence growing stronger all the while. In later years when questioned by scholars, seekers of the truth and those curious to know how she had attained so much knowledge of the spiritual practices of every faith, Nirmala indicated that all was revealed to her as part of herself. She said that she had not yet revealed one thousandth part of what was shown to her during those years of intense spiritual practice. After this period of sadhana, Nirmala remained completely silent for three years, marking the fulfillment of spiritual knowledge.

Sri Ma at Shahbagh Gardens

Sri Ma Attracts Devotees

In 1924, Nirmala moved with her husband to Dhaka where he worked as manager of the Shahbagh Gardens. It was soon observed that the young wife of the manager of the gardens was gifted with spiritual powers and had the countenance of one who has merged with the Divine. It was here that she first attracted life-long devotees. Soon crowds began to swell around her and a close disciple, Bhaiji, conferred the title Anandamayi Ma upon her. Bhaiji was responsible for the first ashram built in her name at Ramna in 1929. Twenty-four more ashrams were to follow.

Sri Ma, as she was affectionately called by her devotees, moved to Dehradun in 1932, accompanied by her husband. From this point until her death, aged 86, she traveled extensively throughout India, rarely staying in the same place longer than two weeks, despite the efforts of devotees to keep her there by constructing ashrams and making their heartfelt appeals. What is remarkable about Sri Ma is the adoration felt for her by people of every religious faith. She was as at home in a Hindu temple as a Muslim mosque or a Christian church. One Christian devotee is noted to have said upon meeting her, “Now we have a face to put on God”.

A visiting Irish journalist asked her, “Am I right to believe that you are God?” to which Sri Ma replied, “There is nothing save He alone; everyone and everything is a form of God. In your person also He has come here to give darshana (to merge consciousness with a holy person).” His curiosity peaked, the journalist asked, “Why are you in this world?” Sri Ma responded, “I am not anywhere. I am reposing in myself. What I was before, I am now, and shall be hereafter. I am also whatever you or anybody may think I am; why don’t you look at it this way – the yearnings of truth seekers have brought about this body. All of you have wanted it and so you have found it. That is all you need to know.” A devotee of many years named Richard Lannoy spoke of Sri Ma, “Yet there is a strangeness, a particularity, an indefinable quality which comes so near the limits of the definably human as to make an adjective like ‘human’ quite inadequate when applied to Her case, and Divine paltry. She was unique and remained throughout her life, the acme of effortless perfection.”

Paramahansa Yogananda Meets Sri Ma

In Autobiography of a Yogi, the Indian spiritual master, Paramahansa Yogananda recounts his meeting with Sri Ma in the chapter titled, ‘The Bengali “Joy Permeated Mother”’. When asked by Yogananda about her life she at first replied, “Father knows all about it; why repeat it?” When Yogananda gently asked again, she explained, “Father there is little to tell. My consciousness has never associated with this temporary body. Before I came on this earth, Father I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but still I was the same. When the family in which I had been born made arrangements for this body to be married, I was the same. And when passion-drunk, my husband came to me and murmured endearing words, lightly touching my body, he received a violent electric shock, as if struck by lightening, for even then I was the same. ….And Father, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation changes around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.” Sri Ma’s Teaching

Sri Ma’s teachings were simple and took on a musicality as she spoke spontaneously of the spiritual quest and answered the questions of seekers thirsty for liberation. Her guidance manifested in an endless variety of forms and she subscribed to no particular path of spirituality, regarding all as valid. “How can one impose limitations on the infinite by declaring this is the only path – and why should there be so many different religions and sects? Because through every one of them He gives Himself to Himself, so that each person may advance according to his own inborn nature.”

Sri Ma advocated spiritual equality for women in a world where at the time women throughout all religions were regarded as lesser. Her teachings counseled on a life of doing good and refraining from doing bad. She provided instruction on meditation, made jokes, sang songs of devotion and read from sacred scriptures. The following quote is said to capture much of Sri Ma’s message, “Who is it that loves and who that suffers? He alone stages a play with Himself. Who exists, save him? The individual suffers because he perceives duality. It is duality that causes all sorrow and grief. Find the One everywhere and in everything and there will be an end to pain and suffering. The Supreme calling of every human being is to aspire to self-realization. All other obligations are secondary.” When her husband died in 1938 with Sri Ma at his side, devotees were struck by the totality of Sri Ma’s acceptance – there was a complete absence of grief and her great serenity remained unbroken. Seeing their shock, Sri Ma remarked, “Do you start to wail and cry if a person goes into another room in the house? This death is inevitably connected with this life. In the sphere of Immortality, where is the question of death and loss? Nobody is lost to me”.

Throughout her life Sri Ma met with many mahatmas, political dignitaries, and ascetics - all were touched by the compassion she radiated as well as her ability to effortlessly converse on any aspect of spirituality. In 1982 Sri Ma began to withdraw from her busy schedule of meeting with devotees and her health began to deteriorate. Devotees beseeched her to make herself well again but she replied, “This body has no illness. It is being recalled toward the Unmanifest. Whatever you see happening now is conducive toward that event. As the Atma, I shall ever abide with you.” She left her body at around 8 P.M on August 27, 1982 and her funeral procession was given the highest honor with all the Mahatmas coming together to assume charge of Sri Ma’s physical remains.

“I find one vast garden spread out all over the universe.

All plants, all human beings, all higher mind bodies

are about in this garden in various ways ,

each has his own uniqueness and beauty.

Their presence and variety give me great delight.

Every one of you adds with his special feature to the glory of the garden."

Sri Anandamayi Ma

Also read: Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj : The Great Sage of India

The Spiritual Journey Unfolds

Sri Anandamayi Ma

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independentartistbuzz · 6 years

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7 From The Women is a segment here on Independent Artist Buzz where we ask some of the industries finest seven questions. During this time of accusations and the lack thereof, we think it’s important to give women a voice. We chose to ask seven questions to honor the seven Wiccan clans.

Kristen Rae Bowden is a beautiful turmoil of tenderness and willfulness. It’s a paradoxical sentiment also evident in her artistic sensibilities. In her upcoming debut, Language and Mirrors, she fluidly, and authentically, inhabits earthy Americana and majestic orchestral rock.

What have you been working to promote lately?

In November 2018 I released my first album, entitled “Language and Mirrors.” On March 15 2019 I will release my first music video from the album. The video is for my song “It Isn’t About You.”

I wrote “It Isn’t About You” while living in a screened-in-shack with no power on the Big Island of Hawaii. I was 22, fresh from college, excited by the idea of living “off the grid”, and very much in love with a young man whose family owned land in Hawaii. After we moved there, however, our relationship quickly deteriorated, practically turning to dust before my eyes. I felt powerless to save it, or leave.

I found myself on a metaphorical island, as well as a real one, and my feeling of isolation stemmed from my obsession with the unhealthy relationship. It became difficult for me to imagine myself outside of it; I no longer felt whole on my own.

Even without electricity, I remained a night owl. I stayed up alone in the tiny dark house on the edge of the jungle, drinking wine, and writing poetry by candlelight. This is how I wrote “It Isn’t About You”: as part of a long, freeform poem. (It is one of my only songs where I wrote the lyrics first.)

Later, I put the poem to music, after I finally got the courage to leave the relationship, and I’d steadied my mind. The song is about making that return to yourself and your own joys, strengths, and needs. It is also about taking responsibility for your own choices, so that you never feel (unnecessarily) like a victim, and you can move on.

The music video for “It Isn’t About You” will premiere on Facebook Premiere on Friday March 15 at 1:00 pm.

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

I think, after all these years, my favorite track written by a woman is still Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You”. The melody starts out conversational, understated, and then it soars! The simplicity of the instrumentation creates such an intimate experience, you feel like she’s in your living room, singing right in your ear. You hear every word, which is perfect because her lyrics go straight to the heart.

The beauty of the poem alone overwhelms me. Joni has a way of writing lyrics that are very specific to her own experience, and full of imagery, but when I listen to them, I feel like they are about me too. Much like an abstract painting where different people will see different things, Joni’s artful words allow you to color them with your own experience. This makes me feel truly known, and comforted somehow as a human being, because I know I’m not alone.

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music/in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

When I decided I wanted to become a career musician, I didn’t think at all about my gender. I just knew I wanted to make music; that’s all I thought about.

Now, I believe that as a woman in the music industry, I have the opportunity to showcase a more feminine (as in the divine) incarnation of strength. As a culture I think we view strength in a very masculine way; it often means hardness, stoicism. I believe we tend to ignore the strength that it takes to be vulnerable... the strength that lies in open-heartedness and flexibility. After all, a branch that cannot bend is more likely to break. In my songs, I find myself wanting to express this: how brave one must be to remain open-hearted. I think it is something I have to offer that has to do with my womanhood and femininity.

When I write I honestly don’t feel a responsibility to create certain messages and themes in my music. I write according to my feelings, so those end up being the messages and themes. However, when I write a song about a certain moment in my life, I definitely listen critically to the song and ask myself what kind of message it is going to send into the world.

Once I wrote a song about a previous boyfriend cheating on me with a girl who I really thought was my friend. They both lied to me about it for several weeks. It was overwhelmingly hurtful. Some men say they have a “bro’s code” to not let women come between them. So, I wrote this song about the lack of a “girls code”, and basically sang about how I knew my boyfriend at the time was going to lie to me, that was obvious. But I never expected my woman friend to be a part of it, sneaking around and lying to me also.

Later I realized I couldn’t release the song, because of the message one might take from it. My lyrics ended up sounding too much like a woman who blames the other woman when her significant other lies to her, instead of holding him responsible, and also taking responsibility for the choice she has made to be with him. What that particular “friend” did to me was unkind, but I don’t ever want to sound like a woman who puts other women down as a group. I didn’t want to risk being interpreted in that way.

I hope to be a voice of catharsis, empowerment, and empathy.

What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

My most personal song is “My Father’s Daughter”. My Dad was an extremely charismatic, artistic, and captivating man. He was also quite the womanizer. He passed away when I was 18, and I still miss him every single day.

I think as a girl, when you grow up with a Dad who is your absolute favorite person, but over time you learn about some of his negative proclivities, you’ll have some kind of emotional reaction. And the reaction will be based (at least in part) on how you are his daughter. If you were his son, you might respond quite differently.

“My Father’s Daughter” is really about me getting into a relationship with a man who had also lost his artistic (and womanizing) father. He had a daddy-backstory similar to mine, but he had responded in a completely different way. We could understand each other better in some ways due to the similarities in our respective Dads’ personalities, but in other ways we really had no hope of ever understanding each other.

The song also has to do with the fact that sometimes, there is no stronger bond than shared grief.

I think this is the most personal thing I’ve written as it relates to being female, because it’s specific to what we would call “Daddy issues”. Anyone can have Daddy issues, regardless of their gender, but being female definitely effects how these complicated feelings play out in one’s life. This is true for me, at least.

What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

So many! I’ve already mentioned Joni Mitchell. I just finished reading “Just Kids” and Patti Smith is a poetic hero. Others include Joan Jett, Nina Simone, Bonnie Raitt, Aretha Franklin, Patsy Cline, Erykah Badu, Zap Mama, Emmylou Harris, Iris DeMent, Janis Joplin, Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks, Carole King, Amy Winehouse, Bjork, Lady Gaga, Billie Holiday, Ani DiFranco, and Tracy Chapman.

Who was the first female artist you saw that made you want to create music / be in the business?

When I was 19, my sister and I went to see Ani DiFranco. I remember loving how the audience was overwhelmingly female, right as I walked in. I noted to myself how rare it is to be in the company of mostly women, at least for me. Ani sang her songs and I think everyone in the theater was affected, you could just feel it in the air. I laughed and I cried. I marveled at how she connected with each member of the audience personally ; she made each of us feel like we’d met her. Each of her songs consistently blew me away with her confessional storytelling. She stirred my emotions and completely inspired me.

The next night I went into a practice room at my college, played the piano, and wrote my first real song. I didn’t mean to write it ; it surprised me. It was about my Dad dying, which had happened about a year before. I scribbled it on a cocktail napkin that I’ve saved ever since.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so why and if not why?

I definitely consider myself a feminist. Women deserve equal rights and bodily autonomy, period. I grew up very privileged, in a community/culture that told me I could be anything I wanted, so I have to admit I was rather shocked to find out that some people still think women aren’t supposed to do certain jobs or have certain roles in life. I also grew up in a very homogenous community. For a long time I was very ignorant when it comes to the idea of intersectional feminism, and I still have a lot to learn about how feminism can exclude the experiences and points of view of women of color and LGBTQ women. It is important to me to be an ally to all women, especially those in minority communities, as they are the ones who are most effected by sexism and discrimination. Learning how to be a good ally is an ongoing process, and I consider it my responsibility to educate myself about issues outside of my personal experience. All in all, I am a feminist because women are still so marginalized, all over the world. Women’s rights are human rights, and as long as things remain unbalanced, this deserves our constant attention.

Connect with Kristen online:

https://www.kristenraebowden.com

https://www.facebook.com/KristenRaeBowden/

https://www.instagram.com/kristenraebowden/

https://twitter.com/bowdenrae?lang=en

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PPhdmifjwxW8fkF_CxIoQ

https://kristenraebowden.tumblr.com/

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2mi6KqRPH72KiS6r1A9ePI?nd=1

https://soundcloud.com/kristenraebowden

https://kristenraebowden.bandcamp.com/releases

#kristen rae bowden #7 from the women #female musician #girl power #feminism #feminist #indie music #indie artist #iab #independent artist buzz

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neonstatic · 6 years

Text

(transcripted convo)

i’m reposting a discussion i had w a terf. i previously posted screenshots but she messaged me and said she didn’t want her url or avatar displayed. editing the pics to post them again was hell so i’m posting a script instead (i learned my lesson tumblr: you suck). if anyone ends up finding the convo and thus the redacted speaker... idc. this is a public website and we technically had this convo in public - the notes of a post aren’t private spaces afaik. i’m posting this as proof that sometimes calmly reasoning with ppl lead to nothing. (i know anyone could say the same but lmao leave me alone.)

tw for transphobia/transmisogyny

[redacted] (speaking to a transmasc discourser about the "woman path"): Ok let me explain what I mean :) if your experience was totally different then thats fine :) im 24 and when I was little i was encouraged to play with dolls and learn 'motherly things' like playing with baby dolls while my brother played with toy trucks. There was a lot of pressure at school to wear dresses, and be sweet and polite. @[transmasc discourser] then of course, learning to deal with periods and the shame and taboo around them. Removing body hair because its considered unladylike. Etc

@[transmasc discourser] have you had none of those experiences?

neonbaebae: these are all common experiences for women bc of gender roles/stereotypes but none of that defines womanhood as an identity.

[redacted]: completely agree they are gender roles. But menstruation isnt a gender role. Its a frustrating part of being female. But that said, what IS womanhood then?

(rest under cut)

neonbaebae: menstruation is a biological function that is in no way exclusive to female bodies. remember intersex ppl, who come in all forms and shapes. women aren't all the same and it's likewise for men. there are intersex women who don't fit all the criteria for being "female" yet still identify as women. there is a distinction to make between womanhood as an experience and womanhood as an identity.

the woman experience is what you've described. the woman identity is feeling like one, e.g.: liking female-coded clothes, makeup, hairstyles, feeling comfortable in the societal role of being a woman. identity is essentially abt self perception most of the time

[redacted]: intersex is unique and I respect that not all womens bodies are the same. Intersexuality is complex but it doesnt represent the majority of biological women. I dont have a strong baclground in intersex knowledge so I'm certainly not gonna speak on behalf of intersex women. so if identity is self perception (which I completely agree with) how can a biological man self perceive his femaleness.if he's never experienced it?

neonbaebae: trans women never identify with being male and all in entails. and they can see, thru watching women counterparts and how they interact with the world around them, that they id more w the idea of womanhood and much less w the idea of manhood. it's esp why dysphoria often settles around puberty bc the dissonance manifests physically and that's harder to handle

[redacted]: but what youre talking about is what trans women see women do. If thats what someone aspires to, its a very basic and narrow understanding of what womanhood is. Its only what they see. And people are far more complex than this. Does a biological male aspire to periods stigma, beauty conformity and lesser social stance in the world? Or do they aspire to femininity? Something many biological women dont feel comfortable with

neonbaebae: womanhood as an identity is a feeling that is strengthened by a disconnection to manhood, its polar opposite. someone who completely rejects the idea of being man is likely to prefer being a woman (not always but likely!). many trans women do aspire to femininity and it has nothing to do with the cis women who are uncomfortable w it, just like there are many cis women who embrace it too.

many trans women cannot quite explain their transition in another way than "being a man felt wrong but being a woman feels right and authentic to my true self". i'd suggest to ask an actual trans woman for her pov tho since i'm not one, i'm just basing myself on what i've heard them say

[redacted]: but feeling disconnected with manhood (which is understandable and gender roles are frustrating) doesnt make someone the opposite of a man. As society we need to open our understanding of gender expression. But this isnt the same as thinking 'if I dont feel like a conventional man or connect with male social expectations, then I must be the opposite'. Theres no logic in that

we live in a world where gender stereotype binaries are considered natural, and people who dont fit this understandably feel marginalised. In fact Id argue to a greater or lesser degree, none of us truly fit the prescribed gender binary.

but i find it problematic when a man thinks they're a woman based on what they think 'woman' is.

neonbaebae: you're right in saying that a disconnection from manhood doesn't make someone a woman - a connection to womanhood does. it has v little to do with the upbringing of women which you seem to define thru misogyny and menstruation alone which is frankly a pessimistic view of womanhood. it's less not feeling like a conventional man and more not feeling like a man At All. tru it doesn't sound logical but gender is not logical it's abstract and complex

it seems problematic bc one might think men would gain smth from iding as women but stats show that trans women are at higher risk of assault for being out and open, both of bc of misogyny (not directly related to having a vagina or menstruating after all) & transphobia. it's esp telling that trans men aren't targeted as much. do you disagree w trans men as well?

[redacted]: but as a women i dont connect with womanhood. Lol i am a women. It would be nice to think we live in a world where women are equal, but that's not the world we live in. Womanhood is hard. And we do live under a patriarchal society that's cultivated female inferiority over many centuries. We're still negotiating freedoms today.

Its not about gaining or loss. Its about the male right to self define womanhood on their terms, without the biological or social conditioning. In fact, many have recieved MALE conditioning as children. This comes with its own privileges.

I think transmale is a very different experience so no I categorise them very differently to transwomen

neonbaebae: "as a woman" you say. even if the experiences and stereotypes don't fit you perfectly, even if you reject it, you still id as a woman. you feel like one and you suffer the consequences of being one. believe it or not trans women suffer from iding as a woman as well and thrice as harshly. i can provide sources if you want.

trans women don't think like men bc they feel like women. the thought patterns are different. they don't digest the social messages abt men bc their mind doesn't relate to it. male entitlement and all doesn't apply to them. and in sociology alone womanhood is often defined as more than a biological or upbringing thing. it's a social identity and trans women have a right to it if they don't id and reject manhood altogether

my question tho was do you think trans men aren't men either cus otherwise that'd be hypocritical

[redacted]: my point is its not an identity. Its a reality. Im a woman. I have xx chromosomes and the world treats me as such. Similar to my race. I dont identify as my race, i am treated as the world sees me.

male entitlement does apply. Statistically baby boys are fed for longer than baby girls. And little girls are left to cry for longer than baby boys. Little girls learn many motherly caretaker roles while many of their male counterparts are encouraged to conquer the world. Children are raised by gender. Even subconsciously. I can also provide sources :)

there are many more male leaders and men in authoritive positions in the world. Women fight very hard for the same respect, but womens voices are less valued. It takes no genius to see men have greater standing in the world

about transmen. No I dont consider them men but I'll respectfully use the pronouns anyone prefers, male or female. Its common decency.

I think society needs to get more comfortable with non confirmative gender expression

neonboobear: but it is an identity. that's why there's a distinction between sex (bio) and gender (identity & expression). if it would feel wrong for you to be called a man or nonbinary then that'd be bc you don't id as such. (also there are women with chromosomes other than xx maybe you should avoid phrasing it that way.) i id as my race but race has v different roots & impact than gender historically and it cannot be compared. let's stick with gender.

and i'm not denying gendered socialization but it doesn't shape a child more than their personal feelings on their identity, which can differ v early in life bc (some) would rather engage in activities associated with the opposite gender for example. if it were that simple trans ppl wouldn't go at lengths to "play the part"

you're right society does need to accept gender non conformance but that's v different from the trans experience. i rly think you should have a deep conversation with a trans person to try and see their pov

[redacted]: if womanhood is an identity, it totally invalidates what it means to be female. And yes its arguable that there're are women who arent xx but how about the majority of the population that are. Must we pander to the few at the expense of the majority? also what makes you assume I dont talk to trans people? Critique doesnt mean lack of empathy.

Children and gendered socialization is complex. Maybe if 'feminine' activities werent coded as female and just 'childhood play' we wouldnt have the same degree of dysphoria. It goes back to the irrational logic, 'if I like the pink toy section then I must be a girl.'

neonboobear: i'm afraid that is your pov for the ideology that womanhood is an experience but also an identity is considered a v valid theory in the science field. the fact that there are women with chromosomes other than xx is proof alone that xx chromosomes aren't what makes a woman. and i've suggested a deep conversation and an intention to Understand the Other. not just a talk. i said nothing abt empathy.

there would be less dysphoria but i'm sure it's still be there. many think the abolition of gender would solve everything but i doubt so

[redacted]: i have a close mtf friend and we have the debate constantly. We don't always agree with her but there's a lot more common ground then you might expect :) Gender roles damn us all. Hmmmm... abolition of gender is impossible but theres is a lot that can be done to challenge gender expectations. But not an easy battle! neonbaebae: i mean this with the least offense okay but i sincerely think neither of you should be friends. i’m black and i’d never befriend a racist. that’s a lack of self respect on her part and a plain lack of respect on yours.

i’d like to end this conversation here. i’ve said my point and i’d only repeat myself by continuing. and since i’m not a trans woman i don’t want to misinterpret them (so sorry if i’ve already did. trans girls feel free to bring up clarifications). might sound tedious but i strongly suggest you watch this 50-min long video essay by youtuber contrapoints. her vids are informative and entertaining and so v easy to digest despite the length. i’ve heard she’s not v liked in terf circles but it’s worth it to listen to what she has to say as a trans women.

#transphobia #transmisogyny #convo transcript #long post #anti terf

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scheherazadean · 7 years

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IT (2017) forecasts a hopeful future for Hollywood remakes and the horror genre

A critical review with mild spoilers

(Photo: IGN.com)

The day after it opened in local theatres, I went to a showing of Andy Muschietti’s long-awaited summer horror, It. I will not pretend that I am familiar with the original novel, nor will I pretend that I have seen the TV mini-series from the 90s in its entirety, starring Tim Curry and inspiring childhood nightmares aplenty for my peers. I can, however, say this much: it must not have been easy to reintroduce canon in a cultural landscape where clown horror has become about as saturated as your average demonic possession waiting to be exorcised.

But the creative team behind the film has taken measures navigating said cultural landscape, and it shows in the marketing alone. The theatrical trailers1 did not bother hiding the jump-scares, probably relying on Pennywise’s split-second appearances to drive the hype, even. Likewise, the film wastes no time on building up the premise of the evil clown. The extent of this exposition is confined to the lulling dialogue in Georgie's encounter with It, which in itself marks a stark departure in tone from its predecessor in the 90s classic: Skarsgård’s voice-acting is an excellent balance between the whimsical and the sinister, and the exchange ends on a gory crescendo promising fatalities to follow. With Pennywise thus characterised, the rest of the film’s treatment of the monster mostly focuses on amplifying the sense of dread accompanying every instance of Its arrival rather than the uncanniness of Its makeup. (Although there is plenty of that, too, in the camera’s attention to too-long claws extending out of a gloved hand, or the dissonance between Its dance-like gait and its grinning maw.)

The new Pennywise retains a sense of uncanniness in the camera’s attention to too-long claws, extending out of a gloved hand. (Photo: comicbook.com)

Indeed, Skargård’s Pennywise is a different animal from Tim Curry’s iconic rendition, and for all the uncertain initial reactions towards the first look of the character’s design, its vintage costume and visibly deranged facial expressions never become overbearing within the context of the film. But the entity’s flair for the dramatic and its twisted brand of humour do at times veer into the territory of the absurd, which may not be for everyone. Even now, I still hold a degree of apprehension towards the convulsive movements Pennywise makes whenever it pounces on its preys, as they somewhat shatter the audience's immersion in such scenes. (The same can be said about the little dance sequence it does towards the end of the film – which has been generally received as too absurd to be taken as part of an integrated scene designed to scare, if the flood of memes is anything to go by.)

But to return to the topic of Pennywise's aura, one undeniably commendable feature of the film lies in its use of setting to characterise the sense of neglect and danger befalling the children of Derry. The devil is in the detail: in Georgie’s death scene, two shots of a lady neighbour bracketing Georgie's disappearance from his spot by the storm drain already highlight an indifference towards missing children. This indifference is mirrored to different degrees in some of the Losers’ parents’ dialogue later on in the film, as well as in the overall lack of adult supervision for the children of Derry despite all the disappearances in the neighbourhood. All of this hint at the adults’ collective complicity in Its malignant activity, thus when Ben Hanscom shows up to deliver his expository monologue about the statistics of missing persons versus that of missing children in Derry, it doesn't come as a heavily expository moment meant to incite cheap surprise. Instead, this piece of information comes as another addition to the steady build-up of a pervading feeling of one too many skeletons in the closet.

One of the many missing children in Derry. (Photo: IGN.com)

Another commendable aspect that sets It apart from other modern horror films is that it actually crafts individual emotional journeys for each of the main characters, so much so that one could argue that Pennywise is an add-on feature in a Coming of Age story. (Of course, that would be an unfair assessment of the film, which really presents an inseparable correlation between the activities of It and the ill-fated occurrences in the children's lives.) Most notable is Bill, whose story is as much of a monster slayer’s journey as it is an allegory for overcoming grief, denial and loss. Here, there is a delicate balance between the terror-inducing and the touching whenever Bill stars in a scene with the ghost of Georgie, which is in large part thanks to Jaeden Lieberher’s ability to tug at the heartstrings with micro-expressions and tremors in his voice. Hence, the film draws Bill’s arc to a satisfying conclusion once he is able to accept that Georgie is dead in the final scene in the sewers.

The film also does a good job of providing visual markers for other such developments in the characters’ respective arcs. Henry Bowers aiming the bolt gun between Mike’s eyes in the basement of Pennywise’s Neibolt Street lair impressed me in its clever echo of a much earlier scene regarding Mike’s hesitance in shooting the sheep at the barn, and Eddie’s first step out of his hypochondriac comfort zone, underlined by his rejection of his mother’s placebo pills, is symbolic of his and the children's rejection of the adults' willful ignorance towards the existence of Pennywise and other more apparent social horrors. Director of photography Chung-Hoon Chung’s work is praiseworthy as well, from the placement of an aerial shot of Georgie running down the street with paper-boat SS Georgie just to show how small and vulnerability he is, to the corresponding transition from Beverly’s bloodied bathroom to the water dripping onto Bill’s coloured drawing of Beverly, smearing the red on her hair in such a way that it resembles blood dripping onto the page. There is also a fantastic use of diegetic elements to engage the audience in a specific character’s point of view, such as adorning the opening scene with creaks and other sound effects to show Georgie’s childish and irrational fear of the basement, only to subvert it in the next immediate scene with the clown in the gutter. Interestingly, the atmosphere of the basement as a falsely-scary location is also quite neatly paralleled and subverted in Bill’s first encounter with It. Such bookends gave the film a touch of masterful storytelling that would not normally be expected from a summer horror flick.

Where the film really hits it out the ballpark in terms of genre expectations and subversions of them, however, lies in its characterisation of Beverly Marsh. Despite being the only girl in the group, she is never rendered an empty token girl, nor does she become a Manic Pixie Dream Girl after the film makes clear of both Ben and Bill’s attraction to her. She is never mystified, a welcomed departure from her characterisation in the controversial orgy scene in the novel, where she is delegated the role of utilizing her sexuality to light the group’s way out of the disorienting sewers. The film also spares significant screen-time on the boys showing solidarity towards her gendered troubles via a relaxed bathroom-cleaning montage. (There, the blood is not only visually symbolic of the onset of womanhood, but also shares contextual connections to the gaslighting she suffers under her abusive father.)

There is a precarious balance between occupying the diegetic standpoint of the boys, and the accidental objectification of Beverly as an underage character. (Photo: IGN.com)

Unfortunately, there is a precarious balance between occupying the diegetic standpoint of the boys and the accidental objectification of her, Beverly, as an underage girl. The camera does not offer voyeuristic shots of Beverly’s body – one can see in the few shots that do take the stand point of the boys admiring Beverly’s beauty that they always focus on more romantic aspects, like her eyes, or her hair, as if testament to Ben’s poetry. However, the idea of a lipstick-wearing, sunglasses-clad young girl has become so synonymous with the image of the Lolita that the scene of Beverly sunbathing in what might as well be a bikini could contradict the message the film is trying to send about her abusive and implied-paedophilic father. Also, one might argue that the very existence of a love triangle in the plot puts an unnecessary focus on heteronormative teenage drama rather than the bond of friendship between the seven Losers. The idea that a kiss would break her out of a cosmic trance is certainly a bit too Disneyesque for a film whose core demons are about murder, neglect and abuse. Thankfully, Beverly’s fleshed-out storyline revolving around her fear of her father keeps her character from being relegated to a mere object of desire in the film.

However, the level of detail in Bill and Beverly’s respective character arcs does highlight the lack of character development in some of the other Losers’ character arcs, namely that of Stanley, Ben, and Mike. (Mike may have been given symbolic visuals, but no real character development can be seen in the storytelling for any of these three boys.) Stanley, in particular, is exposited to have been preparing for a bar mitzvah at the start of the film, but we never witness nor hear of the outcome of the ceremony that should have been most symbolic of his coming of age, and the only sort of emotional development one can conclude from Wyatt Oleff’s appearances is but a mere escalation of fear and hysteria, which doesn’t say much about Stanley as a character. There is also a technical error in the film’s editing regarding Stanley’s character in the final sewers sequence, where one second he is waiting with the rest of the gang for Mike’s descent down the well, and in the next breath of the same line he is wandering all alone in a completely secluded part of the sewers system. Although, such flaws can be overlooked, seeing as the film is an adaptation of a thousand-page novel, and must undoubtedly have been pressed for time.

In any case, the film is good at balancing moments of heart-racing terror and emotional revelations, and it has comedic moments aplenty, too. (Finn Wolfhard’s performance as the loudmouthed Richie won rounds of hearty laughter in the theatre.)

Verdict: worth buying tickets for theatrical screenings for sure.

(Article last updated on 1 Oct 2017.)

Notes:

The linked trailer is not a local one but the UK one, but it is the first theatrical trailer I ever saw for the film, and it’s made the most impression on me.

#it (2017)#andy muschietti #film review #films 2017 #{review}#{article}#{portfolio}

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all-fandoms-fiction · 8 years

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I am your Captain (khan x reader)

A/N: helloooo! Just so you know, I kinda made the ending in a rush, and may edit this in the near future. Just so you guys know. Almost forgot to tag @dekahg Thank you.

Warnings: Violence and hate sex?

”You shot them!” You snapped, your hand flying across his face, your laser gun hitting his pale cheek with a powerful impact that made his face turn. He did feel it, you two were almost equal by strength, he just slightly overpowering you by his tall frame that towered above you. Though he never intimidated you, or you wouldn’t at least admit it. Besides, right now you were so outraged that you couldn’t control your anger, spitting at him curse words while you approached him with fast and swift strides.

”You asshole-” You started with a loud yell, your voice echoing in the stone valley. Dead bodies circled around your feet, the ones you had called as your friends, now ceasing to exists because of your commander and captain, a man who betrayed you.

You couldn’t finish your sentence getting interrupted as Khan took a hold of your arm, almost crushing your bone with his gripping fingers, preventing you from hitting him again. You had just raised your hand to swat him again. You couldn’t keep your hold on the big heavy gun and as your grasp on it loosened it slid from your fingers and hit the ground with a loud thud. You grit your teeth as you were now unarmed and raged, knowing you could never stand a chance in a fight with Khan, especially now that you were fuming with rage.

”They were not important to me.” Khan stated nonchalantly keeping his blue eyes on you. His intent stare made you squirm, not because you were intimidate, but mostly because you just wanted to hit him. Repeatedly. But even if your good arm would to be free you couldn’t get the satisfaction of beating him to the ground. Not if you didn’t want to end up the same.

”They were important to me!” You hissed, your face only inches away from his. You narrowed your (e/c) eyes, a cold stare casting on Khan’s. ”And you promised me they would be safe.”

This didn’t concern Khan. He had never intended on keeping his promise for to provide protection to your inferior friends. He had seen them useful, replaceable.

”They were only soldiers.” Khan stressed, inching closer. ”The only use I had for them was sacrifice for our mission and our sake. I have to say they did that quite well.” He gazed about, his eyes taking in the sight before him. Those now dead soldiers, mostly men, lay there in the mud and stone, blood running out of each one. There were broken bones and bullet holes in every corpse and none moved. Not anymore. All of them had been killed quite quickly, not too much of time given to suffer.

”You bastard.” You muttered nonetheless of your friends painless deaths and pulled at your arm which he held uncomfortably high and never loosening his grip. You could feel his hold on you get only stronger as you tried to break free, Khan yanking you even closer to him. You yelp as he brings you closer, your bodies almost touching. You grit your teeth.

”Don’t tell me you cared for them?” Khan said in accusing tone and you knew how he lack of sentiment and expected the same from you, at least when it involved inferior humans, but you had always been slightly different from your kind. You were loyal, but not to the people Khan respected, but despised. You found partnership in inferior beings but with Khan around it was purely impossible.

You didn’t give him any answer, your cold eyes were still on his, not daring to break the eye contact. You didn’t want to look at your friends, your former companions that had been slaughtered right before your very own eyes and not being able to do anything. Not even call them back to shelter, and that had Khan assured. He had held you back, let your human soldiers go to the bullet rain. They were victorious as much as they were able to take down over half of your opponents until you and Khan came in to finish it. You were left alone with him, around you just the dead.

Khan smirked, humored by the wordless information he got out of you by studying just your reactions and expression. Your lowering eyebrows, the frown on your lips, oh how pathetic it was of you to care for such meaningless beings.

”You did care, didn’t you?” He didn’t care to hide the amusement from his voice, the grin only spreading on his cupid’s bow like lips. You could sense the mock from his tone. ”Bad girl.” Khan taunted you and laughed out loud when you lifted your free arm to connect with his jaw. Khan dodged fast, your left fist going over his shoulder, your right arm still caught by Khan. When you were pressed against Khan’s body, your armpit on his shoulder, Khan took the opportunity and wrapped his other arm around your waist, locking you in place.

You grit your teeth together in your new position, you tried to push away from him, but it was no use. Khan had you pinned against himself and there were no room to move so you settled your left arm over his shoulders, keeping yourself steady in his arms. You two looked like you were about to dance, Khan holding your right arm with his left, his right around your waist and your left behind his neck. Your feet were barely touching the ground, only an inch higher and not even your toes would reach to touche the surface of the cold ground.

You were beyond pissed. In this position you were unable to fight him, but a thought came to your mind and a need to smirk took over you but fortunately you were able to contain yourself before letting the smile spread on you lips, to give away your plan.

You were just about to knee him in the groin, when Khan leaned close, his hot breath hitting your ear, his lips brushing over your bare neck. ”Don’t even think about it.” He growled slowly and despite your rebellious personality decided to obey. He already had you cornered. He could end you if he wanted to, though not as easily as any other being, you would fight him if needed even if you knew you would have very low chances of winning but you always came down fighting. Not by choice but by instinct.

”Tell me, what could have those imbeciles do that we could not?” He dared with an amused tone. You almost fell for his trap, but as you were still insisting to fight him, verbally if you must, you snarled at him, ”Have trust in others.” Khan only chuckled at that, but you weren’t finished. Not quite yet. ”And they show loyalty on a level you have never even heard of!” This did the trick and you found yourself being pushed against a stone pillar with power that was enough to empty your lungs but not enough to break you through the stone or hurt you.

”You dare to talk to me about loyalty?” Khan growled, his teeth gritted and eyes blazing with anger. His right arm was placed over your throat and it squeezed your windpipe almost shut. Your eyes barely open anymore, trying to struggle and find strength to push him off, but only able to scratch his arms. ”I saved you! I did all I could to assure your safety and this is how you show your gratitude? Comparing me to those pests?” Surprisingly his hold loosened and you were able to breath normally.

”Those pests you’re talking about would have never turned against you as you did to them!” You snapped when you were sure your heart beat lowered a little, your breathing back to normal again. ”They even died for you.”

”They died for you.” Khan corrected. ”Do you really thin they would have followed me? They were all only here because of you. You were nice to them, you cared for them and I am well aware they would have taken you from me if I would to let them keep their precious lives.”

”You fucking jealous-” You stopped in mid sentence. You just realized what he was on about. Would it really be that he was jealous and worried you would have left him? There had never been a conversation between you and the group of people that had companied you on this quest where they would have tried to recruit you and leave Khan. ”You, you were jealous?” You wondered out loud. Khan scoffed and rolled his eyes. ”Then again, I would have left you when the time was right.” You joked with a serious tone. You gasped as Khan lunged at you, he took a hold of your shirt’s collar and pulled you up the pillar, his face inches away from yours as he growled, ”You are not going anywhere if I have anything to do with it.” You went to correct him but Khan pushed you against the pillar to shut you up. ”You are mine, I am your captain, I am your commander and you are part of my crew. And that is final!”

”You idiot really thought that was the plan?” You mocked, but not amused at all. You were still pissed at him for getting your friends killed and for attacking you. ”They never said anything of that sort, and besides, they were willing to become part of your crew!”

”You think I would have taken them to my ship?” Khan brought you closer. ”I wouldn’t have them near you. Not even if they were on the other side of the galaxy.” Shit he was getting possessive of you. You couldn’t help but hiss at him, ”You’re insane.” Khan smirked at that, his hold on you softened only slightly, but not enough for you to break free. ”And yet here you are.” Before you could come up with a sassy or snarky comeback, Khan leaned forward and crashed his lips on yours. You tried to push him away to which Khan found humorous recording the smirk that spread on his lips, and he nibbled at your lower lip. You wouldn’t give in to him, you were still pissed at how he treated you and deceived you so you denied his access to your mouth.

Khan parted your legs by pressing his knee in the between of your legs, putting pressure on your womanhood which made you gasp. Unfortunately you opened your mouth and Khan taking the opportunity, shoved his tongue in your mouth to wrestle with yours. You tried to get him off, but he took the dominance in everything he did and you were left to submit to him, which you did not do so subtly. You tried to keep control of the situation, but failed when Khan lifted you higher, your legs in the air hanging above the ground and you were left with only one option, to cling on him like your life depended on it.

You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, your legs doing the same on his waist. You hang on to him, his hand around your waist and the other burying in your (h/l) (h/c) hair. His strong form was all over you as you were all over him and you let the kiss last long enough, until Khan pulled away to gasp for air.

”Khan, we have a mission.” You gasped, but it was hard to concentrate on talking when Khan went to suck your neck, lick, nibble and lick the sweet spot that made you almost moan. You were to climb off of him, your legs separating from his body but with Khan’s next move he made it clear he wasn’t finished. He pushed you hard against the stone wall behind you, your body trapped between him and the pillar and Khan gave you no space to use to get yourself out of his arms, not even inches were between your bodies.

”We finished it already.” He reminded you with a low growl. His voice had become raspy from lust, maybe it had been all your fighting that turned him on and so did you fighting back.

You could feel a bulge pressing your crotch as Khan pushed closer towards you, you also couldn’t help it this time and moaned out loud wantonly. This amused Khan and he went grinding you repeatedly. His tight black clothes didn’t help the situation at all, you were able to feel all his muscles with your bare hands and as your thin, tight black clothes that matched his gave you no protection from his thrusts. Your flesh was starting to grave for him, tingling around the spots that he touched and you hadn’t even realized you had lifted your legs around him once again.

Khan was no occupied with your collarbone, doing the same he had with your neck. You became frustrated with his acts as he played you like an instrument. He declined you of any kind of chance of fighting him off, since he was practically all over you. He had you pressed against a wall.

”I’m not going to do this while in middle of a mission.” You muttered. You gripped the back hair of Khan’s trying to pull him away from you and he did, but for his own doing, smirking at you like a bastard he was and purred, ”But you are.” His cockiness only brought you more disturbance and you really wanted nothing more than to hit him, and then maybe fuck him. He had woken your lust and there was no denying that.

”Get off of me, Khan! Right now!” You ordered him, but knew it would have no effect on him which was proven when Khan grinned at you, chuckling. He did look quite handsome, you did have to give him that. Those cheekbones and that black hair with some loose strands hanging over his forehead and that mouth of his. Those lips you wanted on every part of your body.

Your expression had softened just when Khan leaned in, but this time he nuzzled your neck, his arms around you, hugging you while you were clinging on him with all your fours. And with a soft but daring tone he almost whispered, ”Not yet, I have a point to prove.” You froze for a second, not sure what to say to his sudden soft approaching, just holding on to him, your fingers gripping his shirt, your head on his shoulder.

”That point being?” You finally asked.

”That you are indeed mine.” He breathed out and you gasped. He was, undeniably, very possessive.

#khan noonien singh #star trek khan #khan x reader #khan imagine #khan noonien singh imagines #star trek #star trek into darkness #star trek x reader #star trek imagines #khan imagines #not my gif

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yvylen · 7 years

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TEACHING MOMENT FOR ALLIES: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "TERF-Y" AND "TRANSMISOGYNIST"

(TL;DR: "Transmisogyny" is the way in which trans women experience the intersection of transphobia and misogyny, inextricable from one another and mutually constitutive, and also describes the systems of social power and violence that produce this experience; "TERFism" (trans-exclusionary radical feminism or sometimes trans exterminationist radical feminism) is a particular ideology and movement that is primarily structured by its transmisogyny, but which is definitely not the only manifestation thereof. The two are not interchangeable, and learning to recognize TERFism insofar as it is distinct from other kinds of transmisogyny will make you a better ally/accomplice to trans women. Scroll down for a mini field guide.)

I was at this conference over the weekend, and at one point I was talking with someone else about the sessions. One of them was lead by a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence ("drag nuns"; one of the surviving elements of older-school spectacle theater LGBTQ+ activism) and the person I was talking to expressed interest in the session, but (quote as best I can recall) "I get uncomfortable with drag queens because some of them are pretty TERF-y".

I think what this person was getting at was that drag queens (and sometimes "drag culture" more broadly, especially where it has become more commodified and whiter) often enact misogyny (and transmisogyny especially--plus racism, ableism, etc. etc. in other ways).

I appreciate this acknowledgment. I have a really troubled relationship with drag queens and drag generally because of the transmisogyny I've experienced in that context. BUT--and I understand that this might seem pedantic, but please hear me out--but, the word needed in this situation is not "TERF-y", it's "transmisogynist" (or "transphobic", but TBH I think the gender specificity here is important).

I say this because TERFism is a particular ideology with a particular history defined largely by its rejection of and hatred toward trans women--but that history and that ideology are very, very rarely the things that make drag transmisogynist. Basically, all TERFs are transmisogynist, but not all transmisogynists are TERFs.

So, for example--TERFs often argue that trans women are "appropriating womanhood" because we did not experience (cis) girlhood, which is, by their argument, a necessary prerequisite to put one in the social category of woman. They sometimes describe our identities and presentations as "womanface" (akin to blackface) because of this. It probably doesn't surprise you that this analysis does not favor drag queens either (although perhaps ironically, I think it's actually a reasonable analysis of cases where drag queens are mocking femininity or playing into misogynist stereotypes for humor value--though to be clear, "womanface" is a troubled concept given the history here is not in any meaningful way similar to blackface).

On the contrary, in my experience, transmisogyny coming from drag communities is rarely based on principle or any real gender analysis. It's mostly a reflection of general societal transmisogyny, with the same tropes (using "man in a dress" as a punchline, treating "passing" trans women as deceptive, rampant use of slurs like "shemale" and "tranny", etc.), distinguished only in that participants often feel a stronger sense of entitlement to those words, tropes, and joke. TERFs may use some of the same ideas (the "deceptive/predatory tranny" is a big archetype for them wrt lesbian trans women) but the drag community's usage does not generally add up to anything bigger, other than one more voice in the background noise of societal transmisogyny.

Now, my understanding of this was hard-won through decades of life as a trans woman, as well as no small amount of formal education on the subject. Obviously, I don't expect others to go through that, so here's a brief field guide to spotting TERFs (note: if you want counterarguments or ways to address some of these views, feel free to message me, but it'd take FOREVER to address every single one here)... . . . . -A FIELD GUIDE TO IDENTIFYING TERFs-

-SOCIALIZATION DISCOURSE-

TERFs typically argue that trans women are "socialized male", i.e. that we were raised as boys/men and that we internalized messages associated with that (entitlement to women's bodies and sexual aggressiveness, dominance in conversations, lack of stigmatization of our bodies).

This also pops up in criticisms of trans women's behavior, where if we are loud, angry, or assertive, those behaviors are read as "mannish" or "masculine" and as such as evidence of our "male socialization", because women and girls are often taught not to express themselves in those ways and are punished for doing so.

This is pretty specific to TERFism--general transmisogynists rarely analyze quite this deeply.

-SEX ESSENTIALISM-

TERFs typically argue that women's oppression is located specifically in (cis) female bodies. They'll often argue that gender isn't real (or e.g. that "gender identity" is just internalized sex/gender role stereotypes), but sex is, and that because trans women are not (cis) female that we do not experience misogyny (even if we "pass"). Sometimes this argument takes on a spiritual or mystical angle, saying that trans women have "male energy" or auras. This is often also applied to trans men, who they generally treat as women "lead astray" by trans politics or the allure of male privilege.

The particular analysis above--connecting misogyny specifically to cis female embodiment--is generally connected to TERF thought (but not always! I think, for example, some of the pushback to trans women's frustration about the whole pussy hat thing came from a not-intentionally-TERFy inability of some cis feminists to imagine or connect how trans women experience violence as women, and a strong sense that regulation of and violence against their (specifically cis) female bodies was a necessary element of experiencing "womanhood"), but sex essentialism and biological essentialism itself shows up all over. Liberal feminist thought, for example, often uncritically reproduces the sex/gender distinction, constructing trans women as "male women" in the process, and "really a man!" is like basic Geraldo-level shit.

-PENIS STUFF-

One other manifestation of sex essentialism is hyperfocus on genitals--TERFs sometimes treat trans women's penises as basically purpose-built tools for raping (cis) women (or, more specifically, they argue that all penises are rape machines and never miss a chance to remind trans women that our dicks are weapons, too). Especially when they focus specifically on trans women's genitals (and not cis men's), they overlap a lot here with far right Christo-Fascist types (see: Women's Liberation Front filing a joint amicus brief with Focus on the Family in the Gavin Grimm case), so hyperfocus on our genitals is transmisogynistic, but not necessarily TERFism. This trope also gets played for comedy (Ace Ventura, The Hangover 2, Family Guy) or drama (The Crying Game, Silence of the Lambs) all the time.

-MALE PRIVILEGE-

Between the socialization and embodiment stuff above, TERFs almost always argue that trans women had and benefited from male privilege before coming out or transitioning, and will often argue that we continue having it even after we've done so. This is the most common argument for the existence of "women's spaces" that exclude trans women (but often include trans men!)--that they are for "people who have never experienced male privilege", or sometimes they just overtly state "this space is only for people assigned female at birth". These two, especially when treated as though they are synonymous with "women", is explicitly TERFy.

Like socialization, this is typically an argument used by TERFs because general transmisogynists just aren't that engaged in feminist analysis and aren't thinking about the operation of male privilege in their day to day lives.

-SLURS, PRONOUNS, AND LANGUAGE-

In my experience, TERFs are less likely to use slurs ("shemale", "tranny", etc.) or derogatory terms ("trap", "he-she", etc.) than general transmisogynists, in part because they know optics matter, and slurs will typically push leftist people away. That doesn't mean they never do it, or that they necessarily care about leftists (see above, WoLF cozying up with FotF), but they do present themselves as "radicals" and cultivate that image with a veneer of respectability. Somebody using slurs really openly PROBABLY isn't a TERF, but might be.

What they will do, however, is aggressively misgender trans people, especially trans women. Frequently they will refer to us as "males" to rhetorically class us alongside cis men (or sometimes just use "men" with an understanding that they're including us), and will use he/him/his pronouns when talking about us. Other times--especially in spaces where they are cultivating that veneer of Legit Respectable Leftism, they will either use no pronouns for us at all, or only use "they". Some of them, in some spaces, will use correct pronouns, especially for trans women who support their politics and ideology. Obviously, though, misgendering happens all the time, and just misgendering a person is obviously transphobic, but not necessarily TERFy.

For obvious reasons, few TERFs identify with the label "TERF", and may argue that "TERF" is a slur. They may identify themselves simply as "radical feminists", or use other euphemisms ("gender critical" is a very common one) that distance themselves from the reputation that has been attached to TERFism (and to some extent, radical feminism more generally). For the most part, only TERFs think TERF is a slur. There are, however, trans-inclusive radical feminists that are determined to remediate and reclaim the "radical feminist" label, even though it fell out of favor for a while, so keep that in mind.

-OTHER RANDOM NOTES THAT DON'T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE-

Sometimes I use TWERF instead of TERF--it changes it to Trans Woman-Exclusionary/Exterminatory Radical Feminism". I do this because historically TERFs have primarily targeted trans women and CAMAB NB folks for violence in ways that they have not targeted trans men or CAFAB folks generally. I think this is an important history to remember, but I use TERF throughout this piece because it's more familiar to people.

As above, Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminism is a thing that does exist. I know radical feminists who oppose TERFs (in fact, the term "TERF" originated with radical feminists trying to push transphobes/transmisogynists out of their orgs and spaces). I considered myself a radical feminist for quite a while. That doesn't mean you can never use "radfem" pejoratively (especially, I would never tell other CAMAB women how to talk about their experiences of violence) but you should be careful about it, because IMO that demonization of radical feminism is how we ended up in a liberal feminist pit, just trying to tread water. Part of how TERFs recruit is that they're a way to escape this hell of Lean In corporate apologism and must-defend-Kellyanne-Conway liberal bullshit. Part of keeping their ranks from swelling as people realize how late-stage capitalism has turned mainstream feminism into a marketing exercise is to open up other options for them--womanism, transfeminism, and yes, TIRFism.

As I said way back, TERFism is structured around its transmisogyny. It doesn't offer a coherent gender analysis that even begins to reflect the reality of trans women's experiences because as time wears on and it continues to solidify as a sect of feminism, it more and more has to structure itself around societal transmisogyny for support. The problem is that societal transmisogyny is a VERY steady, reliable base on which to build your shit, because society fucking hates trans women and has for centuries, even millennia. So even though TERFism is essentially ideologically incoherent, there is intense social reward for participating in transmisogyny, no matter how you come by it. Remember that if you're thinking of trying to argue a TERF into reasonableness: for them, there is a reward above and beyond intellectual satisfaction to be gained by their bigotry: the creation of a trans woman underclass ripe for exploitation (especially sexual exploitation) and who attract a great deal of men's sexual and relational violence in society. In other words, you're not likely to succeed.

-CONCLUSION-

Obviously not all TERFs will conform to what I've said above. Sometimes people will say or do TERFy things without being TERFs (I'd argue that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's comments last month were TERF-y in their emphasis of socialization, but that she herself is not a TERF). But the important take away here is that transmisogyny is different from TERFism, and it exists in the bedrock of our society.

Being able to distinguish TERFs from other kinds of transmisogynists is an important tactical ability, if you want to work alongside trans women to dismantle the systems that oppress us. Just as Mike Pence's misogyny is different from GamerGate misogyny, and just as both require unique approaches even if they are obviously aspects of the same struggle, transmisogyny is a many-headed beast, some more difficult to tackle than others. TERFs, I can promise you, are a hard one to tackle. Casting all transmisogyny as TERFism makes for both a pessimistic vision (it's gonna be hard to root out) and an overly optimistic one (in reality, transmisogyny looks like many different things, and no one strategy will work for all of them). Listening to trans women and being familiar with our history and movements will make you much more effective working alongside us.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #trans #trans womanhood #lgbt #lgbtq #ally #allyship #ppl on facebook seemed to find it helpful

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netmaddy-blog · 8 years

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Women Who Hate Other Women

New Post has been published on https://netmaddy.com/women-who-hate-other-women/

Women Who Hate Other Women

Have you ever wondered to yourself, “why do women hate each other?”

Teenage girls ask the question why do girls hate me?

Women who hate other women at the deepest level of their subconscious have unresolved conflicts with their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, or female caretakers who abandoned, abused, or neglected them emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically. Little girls raised by emotionally unstable mother figures never learn how to love and/or trust other women. However, please remember that it is challenging and difficult for a mother to raise her daughter to love and respect; women if she has not learned this lesson herself.

Society put so much pressure on mothers to be perfect, unlike fathers. There are saying such as, “As precious as a mother’s love” or “The child has a face that only a mother could love.” People tell “Your Mama” jokes because the expectations for fathers are so low that there is nothing funny or hurtful that anyone could say about fathers that would cause an emotional response. When athletes accomplish an amazing fete or entertainers accept awards, they acknowledge their mothers. Mothers receive all the glory and blame for how their children’s lives ultimately turn out.

Society put women on an unrealistic pedestal that cause women to strive for an illusion of perfection that is humanly impossible. And when this hefty emotional and social goal is not met, we learn to hate and blame other women – and subconsciously ourselves.

It is very common to hear women say, “I don’t trust women!” “Females are fake.” Women declare that other women are treacherous, two-faced, backstabbers, who sleep with other women’s boyfriends and husbands. Women brag about hating other women and not having females as best friends because women are competitive, devious, and jealous-hearted. What women do not realize is that all women are connected to the collective consciousness of feminine energy… and therefore deep down inside they have the same negative thoughts about themselves.

10 Primary Reasons Women Hate Other Women:

1. Mothers in Abusive Relationships

Girls raised in homes with psychologically unstable mothers who attract abusive relationships with men tend to have a difficult time establishing healthy relationships with men and women. The mother is indirectly teaching her daughter that she is worthless and unlovable when the mother allows a man to verbally, emotionally, and/or physically abuse her. The mother is a role model to her daughter and she is indirectly teaching her how to allow men to treat her in a relationship. Additionally, in many homes riddled with domestic violence, the man may also abuse the children. When children do not feel protected, safe, loved, and respected by their caregivers they have difficulty developing healthy relationships with other people throughout their lives.

2. Mothers who are Promiscuous

Women raised in homes with mothers perceived as being promiscuous may find it challenging to trust other women due to the double standard regarding male and female sexuality. Women and men alike are more likely to judge critically the women’s role in having an affair with a married man than blaming the husband for cheating. People learn to see themselves through the eyes of other people. Little girls see themselves as reflections of their mother, if people view their mother as being a whore, slut, or tramp-the daughter begins to identify with this persona-even if it’s incorrect. In turn, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She would rather be the man-stealing woman who is the predator– than the supposed unattractive, angry, victim-woman at home who couldn’t keep her man faithful. Both are negative personas of femininity and womanhood that make it difficult for women to establish loving and supportive relationships with each other.

3. Mothers who Fail to Protect their Daughters from Sexual Predators

Little girls who are molested or sexually abused by family members, step-fathers, biological fathers, boyfriends, or close family members and neighbors have a tendency to blame their mothers for failing to protect them from the abuser. Even if it’s not the mother’s fault-and she is not aware that her child is being sexually abused– many children still feel that their mothers failed to recognize behavior changes that indicated some type of trauma had taken place.

Women are expected to see the unseen and know the unknowable. And when they fall to recognize the pain, shame, and fear hidden behind their children’s eyes, buried underneath their souls-society’s psychologists, therapists, and counselors first question is: “Did you tell your mother?” The question is loaded with accusatory implications of: if your mother doesn’t know was she such a “bad mother” that you couldn’t tell her? Your relationship with your mother still comes into question as contributing to your emotional health and overall wellbeing.

4. Mothers who have Negative for Poor Body Image

Mothers, who hate their bodies, have negative or poor body image, or who are obsessed with looking youthful tend to have daughters who learn to feel the exact same way about their bodies. Children learn to love themselves through their parent’s eyes. If a mother doesn’t like her nose, and her daughter feels that she has the same nose as her mother-the little girl learns from her mother that something is wrong with her nose as well. That she is not beautiful-not good enough–unless she changes her nose.

Spiritual growth plays out through the human DNA. For example, if a mother hates her body size and has cosmetic surgery to alter her appearance-her DNA code may still express itself through her daughter. What will she say to her daughter who is trying diet after diet– but continues to fail to be a size that she was never born to be? The love or hate that we feel about ourselves is boldly displayed through our children.

Even if our children are not born from our bodies they still carry the DNA from their mother’s souls. The way their mothers look into their eyes, cuddle with them, caress them, kiss them, feed them, take care of them, read to them, tell them how much they love them or not-this is what encodes children’s internal behavior for self-love, self-worth, and self-esteem.

5. Mothers who are Flirtatious

Mothers who are flirtatious with their daughter’s boyfriends, father’s friends, or who seem to thrive on being the center of male attention sometimes cause young women to believe that they are unworthy, unimportant, and invisible unless their self-worth is validated by a man. The daughters learn to objectify themselves and see their own self-worth, self-esteem, and feminine-value by how much attention is “paid” to her by men.

6. Mothers who are Competitive with and Jealous of their Daughters

Some mothers display behaviors that may indicate that they are jealous and envious of their daughter’s youth and beauty. Girls who grow up in homes with mothers who are competitive with their daughters by wearing the same clothes, makeup, i.e. fashion in general; who brag about being a smaller size, or try to dress and act like a teenager instead of an adult woman– raise daughters who feel insecure about their femininity and physical beauty.

7. Mothers who are Emotionally Distant and Non-Affectionate

Mothers who withhold affection, who are emotionally distant or critical tend to raise daughters who struggle with relationships with female authority figures. They will find themselves being people-pleasers; subconsciously seeking the approval of their nothing is ever-good-enough mothers. Women who hate women in this category have the most problematic relationship with other women because they love and hate their mothers equally. These mothers tend to be perfectionists who demand that their daughters chew with their mouths closed; never spill ketchup on their dress; and always sit with their legs closed. The perfectionist mother gives her daughter everything that she needs financially and physically–the only thing that she is incapable of giving her daughter is unconditional love and acceptance.

8. Mothers who did not get along with their own Mothers

Mothers who have tumultuous relationships with their own mothers have a tendency to have antagonistic relationships with their daughters. If the mother was not raised in a family where she was taught how to get along with other women-this may simply be a social skill that she is lacking. In some families, women refer to each other as bitches and other derogatory names. They physically abuse each other… slapping, biting, pulling hair. Wear each other’s clothes and shoes without permission. All of these behaviors are perceived as being “normal”. They have been conditioned to believe that this is just how women are supposed to get along.

When women have daughters this is when the universe is giving them an opportunity to reassess what it means to be a woman– to be a part of a sisterhood that has been oppressed for centuries. They are being asked to take stock of the assets and liabilities of the paradigm of womanhood and femininity for the next generation of girls.

Mothers need to look deep within their souls and ask themselves the tough questions:

What changes can I make in myself that will give my daughter(s) opportunities that I never had?

In what ways have I not truly loved and respected myself that may be reflected back to me through the eyes of my little girl?

What did I love about the relationships with the women in my family?

What do I hate about the relationship with the women in my family?

Their relationship with their mother could be strained for any of the reasons mentioned in this article or various other reasons. But the most important reason is that the mother lacks a role model of what healthy relationships look like between women.

9. Mothers who put their Daughters up for Adoption

Women who were placed for adoption tend to resent their mothers but not their fathers. I had a client who was adopted tell me; “How can I expect anyone else in this world to love me if the woman who carried me inside of her body for nine months, pushed me out of her vagina–looked at me as an innocent newborn baby-and still decide that she did not love or want me.” She sobbed for 10 minutes or more after saying this. Her pain made my heart ache.

The biological responsibility that Mother Nature has given to women to protect, nurture, and raise the human soul is a spiritual mission that many women in modern society have abandoned.

10. The Mainstream Media discourage Mothers and Daughter from getting along.

Sometimes the mainstream media portray teenage daughters and middle-aged mothers as natural enemies-one is emerging into her “idealistic portrayal” of fertility and mainstream beauty and the other exiting. There are many mothers and daughters who are very close who describe their relationships as being “abnormal” because middle-aged women and teenage girls are not supposed to get along.

Some women are just playing out an indirect expected social pattern of behavior that they believe is normal. However, once they get together and really communicate, many mothers and daughters learn that they have more in common with each other than not in common. And they truly enjoy each other’s company.

Sometimes we forget the social media thrives on conflict. Movies and televisions shows will be boring without antagonists. Advertisers need women to feel unbeautiful and old in order to sell makeup, fashion, and hair care products. Women are being conditioned to believe that they are in competition with each other-mothers against daughters, sisters against sisters- and so forth.

Imagine this:

Through the beginning of human history billions of women have been hurt, beaten, beheaded, raped, shunned, molested, abused, over-looked, denied opportunities, oppressed, put-down, unloved, and unappreciated for you to exist in this very moment in time.

No matter what her race, nationality, creed, or religion is silently thank her and give her the voice she never had. You are the breathing reality of her dream. You are her little girl that she wanted to keep safe-but couldn’t. You are her sister who has bravely carried the torch of humanity from the trenches of male domination and oppression through the womb of hope, faith, and grace.

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