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#all completely random by strangers
rowanhoney · 9 months
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Errrrr er
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egberts · 6 months
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pop music anon really came back after i blocked them and said every person they've ever talked to about music thinks all pop stars suck.
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trensu · 9 months
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okay, so it turns out that the hawkins halfway house fic is going to have six chapters, actually. i'm not gonna post anything on ao3 until i have the final chapter done. i'm currently working on that sixth chapter, but here's the rest of chapter five in the meantime.
Continued from here
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The man chuckled goodnaturedly. “Didn’t say you were. What’s your name, son?”
“Steve,” he replied. The man chuckled again.
“Thought so,” the man said. At Steve’s questioning gaze, he shrugged nonchalantly. “You look like a Steve. I’m Wayne. Why don’t you come inside? The kids made a batch of lemonade earlier today and there’s a phone you can use to call a tow.”
Which was how Steve found himself seated at a dining table that seemed too large to fit in the room even though he and Wayne were clearly able to move around the place without crowding one another. Maybe the table looked bigger than it was because of the multiple frosty pitchers of various sizes haphazardly lined up on it. Each one seemed almost dangerously full. Steve was sure one unexpected bump would turn them into a river of lemonade.
“That’s…a lot of lemonade,” Steve commented.
“A couple of the kids’ friends are visiting,” Wayne said. “We don’t see them very often. One of them learned a new trick to keep things cold. He was only going to do one pitcher, of course, but you know how kids are. Everyone wanted to make their own lemonade and told Will he had to do it again for each one.”
Wayne used a potholder to grab the handle of the nearest pitcher of lemonade. If Steve didn’t know any better, he’d say the pitcher was coated by ice half an inch thick. Obviously the pitcher had to be made of fancy decorative glass like the kind his mother would’ve bought. Wayne poured two glasses of lemonade, handing one to Steve which he took gratefully. Wayne eased himself into one of the chairs. Steve joined him. He drank half the glass before asking.
“So where are the grandkids you’ve been chasing? The house seems pretty quiet for that many children,” Steve nodded at the series of pitchers.
“They’re not my grandkids. I’m not as lucky as all that,” Wayne said. “I’m just here to lend a hand where I can.”
“A volunteer? Is this like a daycare?” Steve asked, trying not to seem too eager. This could be something. It wouldn’t be parenthood, but maybe he could volunteer to help kids in some small way. He’ll have to look into that later. Robin would help him find something, he’s positive.
“...you could say that, I suppose. As for your other question, they’re all out back, probably in the woods burning off energy with some of the grown-ups supervising.”
“Well, I’ll try to be out of your hair before they come back,” Steve stood, taking both of their glasses to the sink and rinsing them out. He waved Wayne away when he protested about guests doing chores. “If you could tell me where your phone is to call a tow truck, you don’t have to get up.” 
“Son, I don’t need no mollycoddling,” Wayne said gruffly. Steve flushed.
“No, that’s not–I didn’t mean–” Except he did. Wayne had been out in the heat and sun with him for who knows how long, risking heat exhaustion for a total stranger. It was also evident in the way he moved that he had some joint pain, particularly in the knees. Steve sighed. “Heat exhaustion is no joke. I used to be a lifeguard, it can get pretty bad for, uh, people of your age group.”
“You’re as bad as my boy, I can already tell,” Wayne said. “Thank god Eddie’s out there with the kids or he’d give me a talking to, as if he had a leg to stand on. I’m able to get around just fine without anyone’s hovering.”
“Uncle Wayne,” a soft solemn voice interrupted. Steve jumped when he saw a kid at the dining room entrance. He hadn’t heard anyone approaching.
“Jesus,” Steve muttered to himself. “Pay attention, Steve.”
The kid had shorn dark hair and big eyes. They wore a dress that looked like it’d been owned by at least two kids previously, and a pair of old light-up sneakers. They held a cane in their hands.
“Well, hey there, little miss,” Wayne greeted jovially. “Do you need anything, El?”
“You forgot your cane,” El said each word carefully. She walked up to Wayne, leaned the cane against the dining table, and held his large hand in her two small ones, as if to reassure him. “Let Steve help. He is nice. Dustin said so.”
El must have him confused with some other Steve she knew, but damn if that wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen. By the way Wayne smiled at her, he seemed to agree. He heaved a big sigh, as if relenting was a big favor he was granting her, and accepted the cane.
“Fine, fine, but only because a sweet young lady asked me, too,” he said. El grinned which lit up her previously somber face. “Why aren’t you outside with the others?”
“Too much sun,” she said. “Hurts.”
Steve could sympathize. Too much sunlight sometimes triggered migraines that would knock him down for an entire day, or more if he was unlucky. El looked a bit putout she wasn’t outside with the others.
"Sometimes, it’s better to stay inside when it’s like this. There’s always something fun to do indoors, too," Steve said.
“There sure is,” Wayne agreed. “Weren’t you practicing your braiding? Why don’t you bring your doll over, and you can show us how to do it.”
While El went to find her toy, Wayne showed Steve where they kept the phone. However, they were having some difficulty getting a call to actually connect. Steve tried the number for the towing company, the bookstore he and Robin worked at, and his own home phone to no avail. After the third attempted call ended with Steve nearly slamming the phone into its base, Wayne picked up the phone and listened to it for a moment before dialing a number. After a bit, he hung up the phone much more gently than Steve had.
“House is acting strange. I’ll ask Eddie to look into that. Or maybe Jeff. I think it likes him better, but don’t tell Eddie that,” Wayne said. “I can give you a ride home if you need it, once everyone’s back.”
“Thanks, Wayne,” Steve said with a rundown sigh. “I might have to take you up on that.”
By then, El had returned with a couple of long haired dolls. Once the three of them had settled in the spacious living room, El handed Steve one of the dolls.
“Uncle Wayne knows how, but it hurts his hands,” El explained why she only brought two instead of three dolls. Wayne grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘didn’t raise no narc.’ Steve suppressed a smile and tried to match El’s seriousness. “It is important to know how. I can show you.”
When Steve Harrington was in high school, he not only had the title of king, but had also gotten dubbed ‘The Hair.’ Steve earned that nickname for a reason. He had hair care down to an art. One of his favorite things to do with his various ex-girlfriends was helping them with their hair. All that to say, Steve knew how to braid hair. Steve knew how to braid hair in multiple different ways. 
There was not enough money in the world to get him to tell that to the little girl very patiently instructing him at that very moment. In fact, he made sure to fumble a couple of times so that El had the opportunity to correct him. She patiently did, each time, until Steve finished a braid to her satisfaction.
“You did it,” she beamed at him when they had accomplished a single braid.
“I had a fantastic teacher,” Steve nudged her, making her giggle. “Are you going to grow out your hair so you can have braids, too?”
“I do not know. Can hair do other things?” El asked. 
Steve reminded himself he was speaking to a child and should not go on with his detailed hair care lecture that Robin constantly made fun of him for; though, Steve liked to point out, it never stopped Robin from following his instructions. Steve claimed all the credit for her excellent hair, regardless of Robin’s indignant protests.
“Well, it depends on what kind of hair you have. Do you have straight hair or curly hair?” Steve asked.
“I have not decided yet.”
“I’m not sure that’s something you can decide, honey,” Steve said gently. 
“I can,” El replied simply. “Which is better?”
“Both kinds are good in their own way,” Steve said. “But I like curly hair. Curls are cool.”
“Curls are…cool?” El paused in thought and nodded to herself. “Yes. Dustin and Eddie have curly hair. I think they are cool.”
“I don’t think I’ve met them, but yeah, their curls are probably very cool.” 
El’s brows furrowed in concentration for a moment. Her short hair started to grow, as quick as a videotape on fast-foward, into dark ringlets. They continued to grow until they reached past her chin. She pulled one of them in front of her face, studying it, and letting it spring back in place. She looked up at Steve with a shy but proud smile.
“Curls are cool,” she said.
“Um.” Steve’s brain stuttered. He looked over to Wayne, who sat there watching them placidly as if nothing had happened. “Y-Yeah. Like that. Cool, very cool.”
“Did I do it wrong?” El said, curling in on herself as she took in Steve’s no doubt panicked expression. “Human hair is supposed to grow. Jeff told me.”
“That’s right,” Wayne said gently. “It grows like that but a lot slower. I’m sure Steve can explain. How often do you get your hair cut?”
“Uh,” Steve swallowed, trying to ignore his jangling nerves in the face of Wayne’s calm demeanor. “Um. Every–every few weeks. But, uh, R-Robin, my friend, likes hers longer and goes once a year, I-I think.”
“A year is a very long time,” El said quietly. She had shrunken her posture even smaller, eyeing Steve apologetically. “I am sorry I scared you. I did not mean to.”
She sounded so guilty and nervous, it sent a pang through Steve’s heart. She was a little girl who had been nothing but sweet the entire visit and Steve was freaking out over…what? Fast growing hair? Ridiculous.
“It’s alright,” Steve said, forcing more confidence into his voice than he felt. “I’m the one that reacted badly, so I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better.”
Out of the corner of his eye, a tension he hadn’t even noticed loosened from Wayne’s shoulders. Wayne’s grip on his cane relaxed, too. It struck Steve that if he had reacted aggressively, he had no doubt that Wayne would’ve put a stop to it one way or another.
“It’s okay. I understand,” El said, patting his arm as if she’d seen someone do it once but hadn’t had the chance to try it herself. Delicately but with intent. “Mike says humans are…scaredy-cats. That means you get scared easy.” She paused and her brow furrowed. “I do not know why there are cats. You do not look like a cat.”
At El’s earnest confusion, all of Steve’s pent up nerves and fear popped like a balloon into a fit of giggles that were only slightly off kilter. El let out a few shy giggles, too, and the last of the tension left Wayne as he relaxed back into his armchair completely.
“I really don’t,” Steve agreed. “But I like cats a lot.”
El lit up.
“Dustin is sometimes a cat!” she told him excitedly. She cupped her hands as if holding something little. “He is a very small cat.”
Yeah, Steve thought, sure. Why not have a boy turn into a cat with a girl who could fast-forward hair growth? Steve planned to get himself a drink later tonight. He thought he handled this pretty well, all things considered. He deserved a reward.
The three of them were playing the tamest game of Uno Steve had ever played in his life when he heard shouting. Wayne sighed a long-suffering sigh that was belied by a fond grin.
"Here comes trouble," Wayne said. El giggled in response. Steve took the opportunity to put down a draw four card for Wayne. Wayne took notice and scowled at Steve. Steve gave him his best innocent look but the effect was ruined by the sound of the front door slamming open.
"HOUSE!" a man shouted. "What the hell? Are you proud of yourself? Are you pleased? You made small children walk for an extra hour out in the blazing sun!"
The shouting was accompanied by stomping footsteps and exaggerated huffing and puffing. Laughter rang all the way through to the living room as children reacted to the dramatics. El brightened at the sound and quickly abandoned the card game to run to the foyer. The loud man seemed to take the kids’ laughter as encouragement. 
"More importantly, you made me walk an extra hour, House! These boots were not made for walking. Hey, El! Do these boots look like they’re for walking?"
“No,” El laughed.
"Maybe you should've worn tennis shoes instead, like I told you," a woman's voice pitched in.
"Don't know what you’re whining about," another man added. "I'm the one who had to carry Erica for, like, ten blocks."
"Hey, this is not my fault! None of this would've happened if House hadn't decided to move somewhere else without bringing us along!" the first man protested.
“I’m telling Nancy you got us lost,” a boy said petulantly.
“Not if you ever want to hang out with us again you won’t,” grumbled the first man in response. Then he called out, “Uncle Wayne, you in here?”
“Living room,” Wayne called back as he drew four cards to continue their game of Uno, despite the disappearance of their third player.
“Uncle Wayne!” a chorus of children’s voices rang. Soon, a horde of kids tumbled into the room.
A white boy with curly hair and a black boy both cried out excitedly when they saw who was in the living room. “Steve!”
Steve blinked in surprise. How did these kids recognize him? Had they seen him working in the bookstore? Steve was pretty sure he hadn’t seen either of them in the store before. 
The two other boys with them didn’t recognize him. They were both frighteningly pale, though in slightly different ways. The kid with the bowl-cut carried a blue tint in the skin around his lips, eyes, and fingertips in a way that made Steve shiver with a sudden chill. The other boy’s skin held a gray pallor that reminded Steve uncomfortably of corpses.
“This is Steve?” the boy with the blue-tinted skin asked curiously.
“This is Steve?” the gray boy echoed in a much more unimpressed tone.
“Steve?” Steve heard coming from the hallway. It sounded like the shouting man.
“Shit,” the curly haired boy said. The other boy shoved him.
“Way to go, doofus,” he said with a scowl.
“Hey! You said his name, too!”
“Yeah, said. Not shouted.”
“We said it at the same volume!”
“No we didn’t!”
“Have we met?” Steve tried to interrupt the bickering. His question went unheard under the boys’ loud voices. 
Before he could ask again, a man entered the living room and Steve’s mouth went dry at the sight of him. He was gorgeous. Rangy but firm, with a headful of dark curls that made Steve think of swirling schools of fish. His eyes were big and dark like seabeds. He wore a black sleeveless shirt with some sort of band logo on it. It was worn thin, and damp with sweat. The man glared at him like he wanted to flay him alive.
“You,” the man hissed. 
“Eddie,” Wayne said. Eddie whipped his gaze to where Wayne sat, unconcerned, in the armchair.
“Is that his car outside?” Eddie asked shortly. “How is he here?”
“Ed, calm down,” Wayne said.
“He shouldn’t be here,” Eddie growled. 
“I think he should,” Wayne said with a calm shrug. 
“Me, too!” the curly haired boy piped up.
“Children’s opinions do not count in this conversation,” Eddie snapped. “All of you, get to your rooms. Chrissy–”
“She took the girls upstairs the second you started your hissy fit,” a handsome man interrupted as he joined them in the living room. Steve vaguely recognized him from the bar he and Robin stumbled across months ago. Jeff, maybe? The word Jeffathan popped up in his mind, which was absurd. 
“Take that back, Jeffiam. I do not throw hissy fits,” Eddie said in a tone that Steve personally thought verged hissy fit territory. He chose not to offer up that particular thought to the conversation happening around him. Also, Jeffiam? What on earth? Jeff rolled his eyes.
“Sure,” Jeff said in a way that clearly stated disagreement. “C’mon, boys. We’ll let Eddy and Uncle Wayne figure things out with Steve.”
A series of loud complaints rose up. It almost distracted Steve from how odd Eddie’s name sounded when Jeff said it.
“You guys can stay up an extra hour past bedtime if you come along without fighting,” Jeff said.
The gray boy whooped and ran off the moment the words left Jeff’s lips, with the blue boy close at his heels. The two boys that recognized Steve shot him apologetic looks but chased after their friends with no other complaints. Jeff gave Eddie a stern look. 
“Think this through before doing anything, Eddy,” Jeff said, before turning on his heel and leaving.
That left only Steve, Eddie, and Wayne in the living room that was almost painfully quiet now that El and the other children were gone. Wayne looked as peaceable as ever, but Eddie more than made up for it with the glare that had not let up since he saw Steve. 
Steve had questions. A lot of questions. He couldn’t even begin to articulate his questions. His car broke down though there wasn’t anything wrong with it; the phone in the house wouldn’t connect his calls; a little girl grew her hair at will; there was possibly a child who could transform into a small cat; an entire building seemingly relocated without anyone noticing; and somehow, despite the impossibility of those things, all of it felt almost familiar.
“What is going on?”
“Why are you here?”
Steve and Eddie spoke simultaneously, though Steve’s words came out incredulous and Eddie’s were angry as hell. Wayne watched them both warily. He didn’t interject.
“I didn't come here on purpose,” Steve said defensively. He didn’t owe this man any explanation, he thought irritably, but Wayne had been so kind to him the whole time. Steve didn’t want to pick a fight with his nephew. “I was going grocery shopping and my car broke down. Your uncle was nice enough to let me use the phone but it didn’t work, otherwise I would’ve been long gone.”
“The phone works fine,” Eddie sniffed. “House just doesn’t like you.”
Wayne snorted.
“The problem is the other way around and you’re being too stubborn to see it, Ed. His car worked fine when I was behind the wheel.”
“You got into the car with him?” Eddie asked, aghast. “Uncle Wayne, stranger danger!”
“I am not a child, Eddie.” Wayne rolled his eyes, which seemed to happen a lot around Eddie. Steve thought about how Wayne had gripped his cane in that tense moment after El’s hair trick, and the way he had eyed him during it.
“I’m pretty sure he can take care of himself,” Steve muttered. Eddie puffed up like an angry cat, indignant at the comment.
“Nobody asked you,” Eddie snapped.
“Alright, what the f–” Steve paused, remembering there were children in the house, and course-corrected. “What the heck is your problem with me, man? You’re acting like I insulted your mother or something, but I’d remember you if we’d met before and we haven’t.”
Even as he said that, Steve couldn’t be sure that was true. A sense of familiarity lingered doggedly at the edges of his mind. Eddie’s beauty was breathtaking but it didn’t feel new. 
“Don’t take it personally, Steve,” Eddie sneered. “I don’t like any humans.”
Wayne coughed.
“You don’t count, Uncle Wayne, you’re a god amongst men,” Eddie said without missing a beat. For a brief moment, Wayne smiled crookedly at his nephew.
“You’re not human?” Steve asked, looking Eddie over more closely. He didn’t look inhuman. Then again, neither did El and she proved she wasn’t human pretty easily.
“Nope!” Eddie said with a mean sort of cheeriness. “But it doesn’t matter because you won’t remember any of this.”
Eddie started to hum a tune that muffled Steve’s mind. It was a beautiful song coming from the beautiful man, and Steve wanted to give him anything, everything, he wanted.
“Steve,” Eddie said his name like a song. “I want you to for–”
“Eddie Munson, that’s enough,” Wayne’s sharp tone cut through the hum in Eddie’s words.
The enchanting tune stopped abruptly. The absence left Steve reeling, like his mind was not fully connected to his body. He didn’t like it. Steve couldn’t tell if he wanted the song back or to never hear it again.
“This man has done nothing but be sweet to the kids,” Wayne said. “How many times has he shown up now?”
“It doesn’t mat–”
“Yes it does and you know it,” Wayne interrupted. “Twice with Jeff’s card and this is the second time House moved to find him.”
“But–”
“Dustin went missing for days looking for him, Eddie. You’re being stubborn and that put Dustin in more danger than Steve has so far.”
Eddie’s mouth audibly snapped shut at that declaration.  Eddie jerked back as if struck. A broken musical sound escaped his throat unthinkingly, and it sent a lance of pain through Steve’s heart. Steve wanted to do something to erase that pain from Eddie’s face, but his mind still hadn’t quite gathered itself. His tongue felt heavy and clumsy in his mouth.
“I understand why, Eddie. You’re not wrong to be cautious,” Wayne said. “But what was the point of getting House if you’re not going to trust it?”
Eddie blinked rapidly, eyes red-rimmed. He didn’t look at Wayne. Eddie’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. Then his shamed expression shifted into one of steely resolution. He stalked towards Steve. It would’ve been frightening if Steve had had his wits about him. Cool hands cupped Steve’s face and all he could see was deep, dark eyes he wanted to drown in.
“I don’t know how long it’ll take House to find you again,” Eddie said, and the music in his words was gentler than before. It kept Steve’s mind calm. “But I need you to leave.”
“Eddie,” Wayne said. 
The song strengthened to override the interruption. Steve wanted to kiss Eddie. He’d do anything Eddie asked for a kiss.
“Steve, will you be a good boy for me?” Eddie asked.
“Yes,” Steve gasped. He wanted to be so good for Eddie.
“Today is going to feel like a dream,” Eddie said.
“Nice dream,” Steve murmured hazily. A flicker of a smile from Eddie made his stomach swoop pleasantly.
“Yeah, a nice dream,” Eddie said. “You have to leave me now, but I’m going to miss you so much, Steve.”
Steve whimpered. He didn’t want to leave if it would hurt Eddie. He tried to lean forward, to press his forehead against Eddie’s and promise him his life if it would make that smile come back. Eddie's cool hands held him firmly in place.
“Listen to me. I’ll be so sad with you gone, so you’ll come back to me, won’t you? Come back to me in two days, Stevie. Promise me?”
“Promise,” Steve mumbled. “Two days. I’ll come back. I will.”
“I know you will. Now, go and I’ll be ready when you come back to me.”
The next thing Steve knew, he was in the parking lot of the grocery store and it was much later in the day than Steve had originally planned. As frustrating as the car trouble had been, Steve couldn’t regret the loss of time. Wayne was such a nice guy to have helped him fix his car and his nephew was gorgeous. His good old Harrington charm still worked like a dream because he got an invitation to visit again in a couple of days. He could scope out the nephew and see if there was maybe a chance for some romance in his future. 
He might as well try, since he had no luck in the adoption front yet. Though, he thought they mentioned something about running a daycare? There may have been some kids running around at some point during the car repairs. Maybe he could volunteer to help out Wayne with the kids. It wouldn’t be the same as fatherhood, but it would be something. 
Steve grinned as he got out of his car and headed into the grocery store. He couldn’t wait to tell Robin. Things were starting to look up!
I do not do those reader tag list things. If you’d like to keep up with my stuff please follow my writing tag: trensu tells stories
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barghest-land · 10 months
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the concept of dating scares me, what do u mean u met somewhere other than in the server of the dinosaur survival game
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No because jaskier making jokes about geralt dying as a coping mechanism for them BOTH like the reason they work together and have lasted so long is because geralt NEEDS that lightness and the jokes and the downplaying how bad it is bc otherwise he gets too in his head he NEEDS jaskier to come in a joke about milking his death for at least three songs (and one epic poem) because they both know deep down that geralt dying would change jaskier as a person forever and so jaskier joking about it (IF geralt dies) is a way for both of them to take heart because geralt knows that jaskier just has this complete faith in him and THAT’S why jaskier makes the jokes because the alternative to jokes is too horrifying to even consider
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milkbreadtoast · 9 months
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me having entire conversations in the tags of posts w ppl by going "#prev ..." has the same vibe as me passing notes back and forth to someone in class that the entire class reads before the notes get there
edit: ...alternatively having convos w someone by like. writing a message on the blackboard or sidewalk and then checking later and someone else has added to it while i was away...
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tacosaysroar · 1 year
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People’s lack of self-awareness never ceases to amaze me
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sserafin · 3 months
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My bi boop-o-meter
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outlying-hyppocrate · 11 months
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i have always felt robotic due to my inability to feel romantic love. i see others and imagine beautiful lives with them, but it feels so shallow, as i believe i can only "love" for their appearance. perhaps this is the origin of my masochism - a desire to prove myself wrong, to be vivisected and expose viscera to show the world that i am just like all of you. this is why i long to have my physical form torn away so you may finally consider me human, consider me normal, as normal as you all are. but there is something stopping me from reaching that normalcy. i'd like to think evisceration is an answer, but once my humanity is proven, how will you return my organs in place? how can you ever view me the same?
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mrschwartz · 2 years
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Interviewer: And lyrically what is Only Ones Who Know about?
Alex: Oh that were just, so... me and me friend John McClure were once in town--this is like, it’s very old that song, I’ve had that probably when we were recording the first album but um... no, in fact, probably a little bit after. I think it must’ve been just when, like, uni term had started back or whatever, and there were like these two--this lass and this lad in town, like on a Sunday night. And they were, like, asking for directions or somewhere to go about or whatever, and I don’t know, I just sorta... they looked like they didn’t quite know each other, almost like they’d been bound together, probably had the room next door to each other in the halls or...
Interviewer: Yeah yeah
Nick: And you’ve been following them
Alex: So I followed them! For six months after that. No, but like, I don’t know, but I got that impression from them and I thought... and then I kinda daydreamed about it and that...
Interviewer: And the results are here in this song
#arctic monkeys#alex turner#nick o'malley#favourite worst nightmare#fwn#only ones who know#audio#*#like bhjvjhvjhvjh i was listening again to the track by track interview alex and nick did for fwn and they got to only ones who know and lol#i’d completely forgot about the actual story behind this song#all this time i’ve thought that it was about like a fleeting relationship he had with some girl but no!!#the actual story is so much more crazy to me nfjnvfjvn#primarily bc he has a million songs about breakus so like what's one more#but since it's not actually about alex himself it paints him as such an inspired fanfic writer jvnjfnfjnjn#like okay he’s used strangers as inspiration before#riot van is about troublemakers he’d observe in sketchy parts of sheffield; same for when the sun goes down#brianstorm is famously about the weird guy they’d met backstage; “mark speaking” is a greeting he’d heard some guy answer the phone with etc#but this is different! it’s such a sad song. he truly created an entire romeo and juliet-esque heartbreaking ballad#about some random uni students who probably weren’t even dating 😭😭😭#mano como eu queria que existisse uma palavra em inglês pra ''fanfiqueiro'' nada mais consegue descrever ele contando essa história jnvjfnv#''and even if somehow we could have shown you the place you wanted i'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own''#alex;;;;; are you saying. ''even if john and i could've given you the right directions to the bar you would've had more fun#running off by yourselves to live some romantic fantasy''????#this is insane who IS he. what gave him the right to do this ndbshdjmfj
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zero-a · 1 year
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people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"
#mine.txt#just thinking about all those 'think positively!' and 'romanticize your life!' posts#like on one hand i can see their merit cause self-hatred though instinctual is ultimately detrimental to your mental health#but on the other hand...some of them (a lot of them) are really just unashamedly asking other people to completely change themselves huh#all in the guise of ''positive thinking'' ''self-love'' and ''betterment'' no less#i suppose i shouldnt be surprised considering most people can barely grasp the concept of someone who Genuinely has muted emotions#as a natural state instead of a depressive symptom#not to mention the human quality of escalating things#so ofc tumblr which seems to currently be in its mental health recovery phase would naturally lean in so hard towards ''radical happiness''#but man sometimes i really do just wanna shake the person from behind the screen and say#'no! dont you understand! this is just how i am! stop implying that everybody who doesnt feel joy at simply waking up is a miserable hag!'#sometimes they dont even imply it they just straight up say it 💀#im honestly fine (as in idc) with seeing them but they remind me so much of those toxic positivity bitches that sell you random hoaxes#and tell you that youre ''ruining their vibes'' when youre not just beaming like the sun every waking second#well idc most of the time that is#sometimes they just trigger my szpd (and my dpd weirdly enough)#with the szpd obviously i dont like being told what to do and what to feel and having some rando assume things about me#but with the dpd its like#oh i must be doing something wrong ofc this stranger on the internet knows more about emotions and feelings than me#cause im a dumbass who doesnt Feel things therefore i must do what they say even to my own detriment#this mainly applies to those guilt-trippy ones so ive learned to steer clear of them#possibly even block the op
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Sometimes running public exterminate bounties is a lot of fun, with really nice random squads who breeze through the mission together, stick together for multiple runs, and overall get up to fun nonsense
And then sometimes it's this
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miqojak · 6 months
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#people will cheer about how others should set boundaries and uphold them for their own well-being#until those boundaries prevent them from getting what they want from you#I have to constantly beg people not to use this OC blog as an aesthetic resource blog for their own OC blogs#It's a roleplay blog - which means it is effectively a scrapbook for *my* OC - and a place for people who want to interact with me/my OC#it is NOT a place for complete strangers who have no interest in the OC to come and shop for their OC's aesthetic#but people get SO MAD when you tell them you have this one and only boundary that is 'please don't use me like an object'#is it so much to ask that people who follow an RP blog actually interact with that OC?#why else would you follow an OC's blog if you aren't interested in interacting with them as a character?#anyways it's always a bummer to come across an OC blog I like that has blocked me because I insisted they not use my blog as a resource#just go follow the same resource blogs your favs do if you really don't want to interact with their OC - but you really like their aestheti#if you want to share aes. posts from someone...maybe try sharing their original creations as well so it doesn't feel like you're using them#and it feels like you're actually supporting them AND you like their aesthetic - that's all I've ever asked of people and they get SO mad#when asked to consider that there is a human being behind the screen who doesn't want to be treated like a resource...#- but as a creative/writer who is seeking contacts to do improvisational creative writing with others#the amount of strangers coming to my blog lately not to interact or share my work - but just take the 1-2 aesthetic posts I share is vexing#to all who do share: I love you and I see you and I appreciate you#and I've seriously considered just doing a random gift/giveaway from a pool of people that only consists of you guys#just to give back to the maybe 5 ppl who actually interact with me & others and support them by sharing their original work
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inthewychelm · 1 year
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i think if any one was to write a steddie/vampire chronicles au, steve should be louis and eddie as lestat, the parallels dont need to be explained you get it
and if someone wrote it, i feel they should base it off of the queen of the damned novel, it could be an au retelling the story with steddie as the characters instead of loustat or even an canon divergent au where eddie becomes an vampire after the upside down scenario in the '86, i definitely think it works with the book arc the best, not the movie version
like you get eddie becoming a vampire rockstar for the bit, part of lestats whole motivation was to reach out to louis to warn him about akasha awakening, and lets not forget the reunion after the final concert performance, imagine eddie performing, trying to get out a message for steve 40 years later, then they reunite and its like they never separated, then you have them getting the party back together for a final showdown be it vecna or some other upsidedown entity, i just think itd be so fun
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toastsnaffler · 7 months
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I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹
#haphephobia.... and they list guts from berserk under pop culture references 😢😢😭😭 thats my guy....#not gonna lie i teared up a bit i didnt realise it 'counted' as an actual phobia#i find it really difficult to talk abt but i have a complicated relationship w touch/physical contact (likely trauma babeyy)#and while i do crave it a lot i also have a very physical reflexive fear response especially if its intentional + i dont expect it#which can sometimes even get triggered just being in proximity to ppl bc like. even the possibility sets me on fucking edge#it would be nice to be as physically affectionate as i naturally want to be without dealing w my fight/flight/freeze but alas#its weird bc there are some random situations where it doesnt get triggered at all but its so unpredictable every time#and varies wildly person to person for seemingly no reason. there r strangers im innately more comfortable with but also friends ive known#for years and will never be comfortable around. i think part of that depends on how strongly the other person communicates and whether-#i feel as if theyre demonstrably able to respect boundaries not just mine but their own too + understand theyre not always fixed#ideally i need to have had this conversation with them so i Know they understand. which is rly difficult i find it so hard to admit#and i have a complicated mental block where i need the other person to naturally bring it up which very very rarely ever happens#idk just an atmosphere of safety yknow. i think its intentional touch that specifically makes me panic bc im usually fine w like-#bustling crowds or even expected social rules like handshakes at interviews. bc its not like they're Trying To Touch Me its just rote idk#hopefully eventually ill reach a place where im able to unpack it and reduce its severity bc man sometimes its fucking heartbreaking to me#bc i do genuinely really like physical contact im an incredibly physical person its my main way of interacting w the world#and the way having to force myself to avoid it meshes w my rsd too augh.... its a clusterfuck#even just having one person im completely comfortable with. maaaaan.#almost makes me miss my ex. at least i was mostly cool around them#god its sucked lately ive been having weird vivid dreams related to it. but whatever its so far down my list of problems to prioritize#and at least i dont get it w my familys dog so i can cuddle her :^) i miss her i cant wait to see her next month :D#anywayyyy thats enough im so tired goodnight every1...#.diaries
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1o1percentmilk · 7 months
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bruh my hands r so sweaty all the time now i need to go to the bathroom 1000x times a day to wash them bc i can't type when they feel icky
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