#all grown up rat

[duckysprouts]

book jaime lannister is the funniest boy because from birth he’s constructed a grand narrative in his mind that he is the perfect knight to his sister-wife’s perfect maiden, a relationship that exists solely to fuel their mutual narcissism and help him cope with his chronic identity crisis/trauma, only to see a buff girl naked for the first time and come to the subconscious realization that it’s actually HIM who is the maiden to brienne’s knight and proceeds to spend the rest of their trip using preschool tactics of annoying her to death so that she can notice him and sweep him off his feet (it works)

[bruqh]

seeing a lot of disappointment that the rat grinders aren’t getting any sort of redemption arc which i understand because i think it would make a more interesting and complex story but yall are not taking into account that this is a dnd show and the best part about dnd is killing people u hate without having to go to jail or face repercussions soooooo

[ancientphantom]

I'm a regular reader of historical romance and I was reading your review of Anne Stuart's take on POTO (and giggling along, bc it's bad even by my standards even if I indulge in trash from time to time). That did make me curious though, are there any other fiction books with Meg (or a Meg/Christine combo) be the Phantom's love interest? I remember hearing about Sadie Montgomery's books a few years back but I was wondering if it was an outlier and that everything else had Christine or an OC.

I'm glad you enjoyed the review!

While the majority of Phantom lit is E/C, with R/C in second place, there is more than a little E/M kicking around out there! Here are a few off the top of my head:

The Phoenix of the Opera Series by Sadie Montgomery - you mentioned this, but it's a big one! There are seven books in this series - The Phoenix of the Opera, Out of the Darkness, The Phantom's Opera, Phantom Death, Phantom Madness, and Phantom Nightmare, all of which cover Erik's and Meg's burgeoning romantic relationship and ensuing adventures. I've only got a review of the first one (I didn't love it, but you might!), but the whole series is pretty much the top-tier E/M option out there.

The Guardian of the Opera series by Cheryl Mahoney - this is another purely E/M series, and much newer than the Montgomery ones, which came out about 20 years prior. While the first book follows the events of Leroux's novel fairly closely, just from Meg's point of view, the following two develop a romance between the Phantom and the ballet dancer.

The Angels of Music series by Louise Ann Bateman - another much newer option that starts with Leroux's story but then moves on to developing an E/M plot afterward. There are only two books in this series so far, but there may be more in the future!

Night's Melody by Drake LaMarque is an erotica that features a gender-flipped Meg named Mathieu as its main character, who is very into Christine/Christophe even before the mysterious masked man gets sexily involved (amusingly, you'd think that the infamous Unmasqued by Colette Gale would have something with all the orgies and BDSM, but while the older Giry is definitely up to sexy shenanigans, her daughter doesn't feature as prominently).

Honorable mentions:

Love Never Dies - Yes, they don't get together, but this is an example of Meg being heavily in love with the Phantom and that having a sharp effect on the plot.

The Phantom of the Opera (1990 David Staller musical) - While not in most of the plot, this musical ends with the Phantom giving up on the rescued Christine and deciding to start mentoring a young ballet dancer instead, which a lot of E/M shippers see as a call out to Meg.

In addition, there are also a LOT of books that use the Phantom story but have him target a ballerina instead of a singer; usually, the ballerina is just Christine (probably because Sarah Brightman is a ballet dancer, so the Lloyd Webber musical made Christine one, too), but some of them are ambiguous and might scratch that itch! Off the top of my head:

The Ballet of Dr. Caligari and Madder Mysteries by Reggie Oliver - this is a short story collection, but the title story is about a man who, when his ballet dancer obsession can no longer perform, becomes more and more dangerously obsessed with getting her back onstage no matter what the cost.

The Cursed Ballet by Megan Atwood - a dancer at a ballet academy is deetermined to excel in the so-called "cursed show", but the mysterious dancer boy who she meets at night seems to have something to do with it.

A Dance with Danger by Marisa Wright - a mainstream romance novel featuring a ballet dancer who loses his legs but falls in love with another ballet dancer and decides to help her.

Night Child by Ann Majors - another mainstream romance novel featuring a ballerina who was kidnapped as a child and the man who has been protecting her for her entire life.

There are definitely more, so folks who have read them, feel free to chime in down in the replies and tags!

[arolesbianism]

Having Wickerbottom thoughts... She's so silly

[tsareviich]

verses

♕ ┊ v. young prince ┊ ❛ all grown ups were once children ❜ ♕ ┊ v. trilogy ┊ ❛ the crown prince of ravka ❜ ♕ ┊ v. kos ┊ ❛ you are my most trusted advisor ❜ ♕ ┊ v. ketterdam ┊ ❛ no mourners ; no funerals ❜ ♕ ┊ v. privateers ┊ ❛ and we could be pirates ❜ ♕ ┊ v. nichevo'ya ┊ ❛ a creature wrought from shadow ❜

-

♕ ┊ v. modern ┊ ❛ don't you know that the kids aren't all right? ❜ ♕ ┊ v. alt. modern ┊ ❛ i don't like violence. i'm a businessman. ❜ ♕ ┊ v. immortal ┊ ❛ we could stay young forever ❜ ♕ ┊ v. football ┊ ❛ famous for being almost famous ❜ ♕ ┊ v. regency ┊ ❛ heirs have the responsibility ❜ ♕ ┊ v. demigod ┊ ❛ you take what you can get ; and you make the most of it ❜ ♕ ┊ v. opposites attract ┊ ❛ a rat and his prince ❜ ♕ ┊ v. modern royal ┊ ❛ let me be your ruler ❜ ♕ ┊ v. pirates ┊ ❛ it's the age of princes and pirate ships ❜ ♕ ┊ v. vampire ┊ ❛ ordinary people who just happen to consume blood ❜ ♕ ┊ v. pirates ┊ ❛ it's the age of princes and pirate ships ❜ ♕ ┊ v. mermaid ┊ ❛ walking is just like swimming ❜ ♕ ┊ v. hollywood ┊ ❛ i once was poison ivy; but now i'm your daisy ❜

[sar3nka]

Well fuck they can't remove the tumor in Bezi so it's pretty much a death sentence. The only hope is that her meds will stop the growth completely and she lives a month or 3 at best...

She's fine now, will talk to the vet a bit in like an hour and see what are the options. But the surgeon who called me to inform me abt all this told me not to get my expectations very high

[hitchell-mope]

Oh Chuckie

[randomtheidiot]

Desert greening to grow crops for picky vegans is such a fucking stupid idea that I’m starting to question my faith in any sort of human intelligence.

[incorrectthots]

Actually laughing.

I live by this to the max. Like I can say sm worse 😊

@cheesby @larsnicklas thank you for the lovely reblogs and a daily reminder of how brain dead some of you are <33

[homunculus-argument]

Things birds would make memes about:

when you're all fucked up and ready to GO but the male got too into doing his mating display and won't fuck before he's done dancing

when your hatchlings this year should be all grown up and you've taught them everything you know but they still follow you around beeping for food like GET A FUCKING JOB

lmao the stupidest fucking mf in the flock got stuck in a trash can

when your species mates for life and you just realised that your spouse that you imprinted on is a fucking idiot

stealing fluff for my nest straight off a sleeping dog because I fear no death and answer to no god

I think my huge idiot son is a cuckoo

THE SUN IS UP AND SO AM I, TIME TO SCREAM MOTHERFUCKERS

Birds of prey hanging around bird feeders waiting for rats, squirrels, smaller birds, and other bird food to show up.

I fucking hate seagulls, all my homies hate seagulls

suck my dick, I'm a seagull, fuck you

[ironinkpen]

i fully believe that the Rat Grinders will be revived after all is said and done and that their deaths aren't permanent, which is why I personally LOVE how fucking brutal the Bad Kids were with them this ep. it really drives home just how one-sided the Rat Grinders' obsession with them has always been—they go into this ready for epic, cinematic, toe-to-toe combat, but the Bad Kids categorically Do Not have the time or the energy to get into their whole deal right now and drop them in like two rounds. fuck non-lethal damage, they need these assholes out of their way YESTERDAY. there's truly something so fitting to me about the battle-hardened Bad Kids having no patience for coddling the Rat Grinders when the world is actively ending. like yeah yeah, we can figure out who's actually evil later and bring you back to life, but everyone currently trying to resurrect a dead god is going in interplanar timeout right now while the grown up adventurers clean up your mess, sorry

[in-class-daydreams]

Imagine nearly beating a bitch when they imply that ex-husband Gojo was anything but completely devoted.

Being married to one of the most powerful sorcerers in history was bound to garner some rumors. But the the rumor mill really went wild after your divorce.

You'd grown to ignore the rumors that Satoru left because you were unable to have children after Sen. Or that his Clan ordered you to divorce (though they would have if they could). Or that you weren't a strong enough sorcerer to maintain his interest. People could make up all kinds of baseless things, so you grew to ignore them quickly enough.

But of all the cruel, accusatory, presumptuous rumors surrounding your divorce, one stood far above the rest.

"Satoru Gojo's wife left him because of his wandering eye."

As if people knew anything about him. About how "devotion" is the core of his personality.

So, yes, you might have sent an up-and-coming clan heir through a wall at an official meeting. But she had it coming.

Sukuna sighs and yanks you back into your seat. "Calm down. The bitch doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Excuse me?" the young heir gasped. "How dare you speak of me that way?"

You flick a hand and send a water snake directly at her face, making sure to direct it at an angle that would force water right up her sinuses. She coughs and gags.

"Satoru was utterly devoted to me and our son. Our marriage may not have lasted, but he is still the most loving man I've ever met. If I ever hear another nasty comment about him from you again, I will remove your tongue," you growl.

The other clan staff sitting around the table gape at you. No one moves to help the young heir.

"Looks like this meeting's over," Sukuna drawls, gathering his papers. "Good thing. This was such a waste of time. Come back when you actually have something for me that makes sense." He shifts into his Ryomen form and uses his extra arms to grab your stuff. "C'mon, brat. I'm done with these idiots."

~

Imagine doing a consultation at Tokyo High and being a little extra nice to ex-husband Gojo.

"I organized each file with color tabs. They're pretty self-explanatory," you explain, handing over the stack.

"And here's to think you could hardly read when we met," Satoru teases.

"Hilarious," you deadpan. "And I left a bag of sandwiches and a gallon of cut fruit for you in the employee fridge. Don't forget to eat again or I'll force feed you myself."

Satoru's eyebrows lift. "Oh. That's different. What brought this on? Are you buttering me up for something? What'd you do?"

You scoff and make to leave his office. "I just don't need Suguru to complain to me about you passing out or something. Don't think about it too hard."

"Alright, thanks."

Just before you cross the threshold, you hear, "Thank you for defending me. You didn't have to do that."

You turn halfway and eye him warily. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Kuna ratted you out."

"Of course he did."

"Nice try, though." He gives you a rare smile.

Satoru never smiled much. He laughed, pouted, or sly grinned plenty, but you hadn't seen his gentle smile in a while. It made him look younger.

"Well." You shrug. "Bitches who don't know any better should keep their mouths shut."

He laughs. "The Teenage Jailbird version of you still jumps out sometimes, I see."

"She gets the job done." You linger in the doorway for a moment. Then you move before you can change your mind.

Satoru turns his chair to face you when you run round the desk and lets out a soft "oof" when you lock him in a tight embrace. Your clench fistfuls of his uniform jacket.

"It's okay." Satoru pats your back. "I'm not hurt. Really."

You have to pry yourself from him, but you manage. Wiping a stray tear - that even Satoru is surprised to see - you nod resolutely.

"Okay, well. Don't forget to eat or whatever. Bye, Satoru."

Satoru watches you speed walk down the hall. The six eyes pick up on you stopping outside the school gates and running your hands down your face. Once you're gone, he returns to his admin work newly energized.

It was hard to explain to you when you were married, but those little moments of affirmation made all the difference to him.

~ Thanks for reading!

Click [here] to keep up with ex-husband Gojo and his estranged family | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[suiana]

imagine yandere! drider who makes himself at home in the corner of your room one day.

you come home from work, absolutely tired and just wanting to have a break... only to hear a weird scratching sound coming from your room. what the hell could it be? surely it's just your imagination? so you make your way towards your room nonchalantly, pushing the door open and...

"wha-?!"

"oh, darling."

you freeze, staring at this... absolutely gorgeous drider who had made himself at home in the corner of your room... you were originally going to let things be until you saw the many tiny babies on the back of his spider lower body. screaming and throwing your bag at him, you slam your door shut and run away from your room as fast as you could. shit, shit, shit! a spider dilf?!

...you were going to escape until you hit your toe and started crying on the ground. the drider came out of the room (with babies and all) and nursed you back to health.

and that was your first meeting with the hot asf spider dilf in your room.

you later learned that he was surprisingly gentle and didn't mean for you to be scared by his appearance. you wanted to tell him the truth. that well, you weren't scared by his appearance, sure, you were stunned when you saw this whole ass grown dude in your room but he was hot so it doesn't really matter. but rather, his kids scared the hell out of you with their tiny beady eyes. however... you're sure that if you said that, he'd try and kill you. you've seen how caring and loving he is with his tiny spider babies after all.

you've also come to learn that he really loves making intricate web designs. designs that absolutely sparkle when the light hits them in a certain way... they're all so beautiful and mesmerizing that you can't help but compliment him whenever you can.

"hey, your patterns are beautiful as usual dude."

"ah... thank you love."

he blushes, avoiding eye contact as he shakily pulls out a flower from behind his back. right, he's been giving you these gifts at random too. it's cute. well, not when he just started out though. he used to gift you dead rats.

you were horrified when you woke up one day and saw a dead rat on your desk. what the fuck?! your drider roomie didn't seem all too phased, even looking at you expectantly as he waits for a compliment. you had to explain to him that humans don't accept gifts like that. he looked rather deflated the rest of the day after that. talking about how his spouse must hate him and stuff. you didn't know he had a spouse.

you've also realized that he's weirdly overprotective of you.

you can't even go out on dates anymore. or... talk to anyone for that matter. he once threw your phone at a wall when he saw you texting this guy you were planning on meeting up. he also gets all pissy and starts making weird spider sounds while his children crawl around your feet. you were super grossed out by that at first but you've grown used to it by now.

"dude stop, i just want to go on a date!"

"no."

"why?!"

"you already have me! that's why!"

he gets all pouty, arms crossed over his huge tits as he nags you about trying to cheat on him. you never really said anything about that before. surely he's just roleplaying because you sometimes act like his lover by giving him food and asking how he is. but this has gone too far! you have to say something!

"we aren't dating, what are you on about?"

"yeah, because we're married."

what.

you stare at him, jaw dropping as his kids tug on your pants and chat noisily. did he just... say you guys were married? you try searching his face for any lies, only to be hit by the fact that he was serious.

that's when everything starts to suddenly fit together in your mind. the gifts, the name-calling, the fact that his kids love you... damn, maybe it was also because you complimented his webs that solidified his belief that you two were together. you read somewhere that male spiders make patterns to impress potential mates.

"um..."

"hmph! don't go on any dates anymore. i can't believe you keep trying to be unfaithful. our kids will be sad you know!"

damn it, looks like you got yourself a drider husband now.

[arolesbianism]

Starting a collection I like to call "oh right oni earth was like comically dystopian"

[helaintoloki]

The Unbearable Truth

pairing: Five Hargreeves x reader

warnings: angst with no happy ending, spoilers

notes: so i actually hated this storyline in the show but i also recognize angst potential when i see it so here’s this

summary: after getting lost in the subway system, Five comes to a grave realization

Five Hargreeves doesn’t love you anymore, and you’re completely oblivious to the fact.

You’re in the kitchen of Lila’s home baking holiday treats with your niece while awaiting the arrival of the rest of your family to begin the festivities. You smell of cinnamon and pinecones, and for the first time in years you actually feel content and happy with where your life is now. Sure, there’s technically a looming apocalypse hanging over you right now, but it’s nothing you haven’t handled before. You’re actually part of a family now with a man who adores you, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“Alright, Grace, would you like to do the honors of putting the gumdrop buttons on the gingerbread men while I check on the sugar cookies?”

“Yes, aunt y/n!” The girl exclaims cheerfully before immediately diving into the candy bowl. You laugh at her eagerness and turn towards the oven only to be met with the sight of Five in the kitchen doorway. He looks disheveled and unnerved, but you’re too engrossed in your own joy filled bubble to pick up on it right away and instead mistake him for being tired and overwhelmed with the situation surrounding Ben and Jennifer.

“Hey, you made it!” You say with a smile as you press a chaste kiss to his cheek before turning your attention to the sugar cookies. Five can only stand there stiffly as he clings onto the ghost of your lips against his skin. He had hoped that by seeing you again, by being in your presence and showered in your love for him, the feelings he once held for you would return.

But as he stands there in the middle of the kitchen watching you run about, he realizes that he feels absolutely nothing.

Initially, he had wanted nothing more than to return home to you and his siblings. Five had fought tooth and nail trying to figure out a way to get out of that damned subway system so he could have you in his arms again and tell you how much he missed you even if for you he had only been gone a couple hours. But a man could only take eating so many subway rats and being shot at so many times. He had grown tired, weary, and depressed. For a moment it seemed they’d be stuck there forever, and so he decided that maybe it was time to make the most of it.

What he didn’t expect was to fall in love with his brother’s wife.

A woman he had once hated with his entire being now was his sole companion, and whether it was due to some sick twist of fate or a moment of weakness, he had begun to look at her the way he once looked at you. With complete adoration and care as well as a fierce need to protect her and keep her safe. He knew the chances of ever seeing you again were highly unlikely, and the next logical step would be to move on. So he did.

But now here he is, back in his original timeline left to deal with the aftermath of his decisions.

In what was seven years for Five and three hours for you, the boy has fallen out of love with you. Your smile still may be as beautiful as ever and your scent of red berry plum and jasmine may be intoxicating to any other man, but he feels absolutely nothing when he looks at you. The spark is gone, and unbeknownst to you your relationship is about to fall apart.

“Where did you run off to?” You ask him after setting the freshly baked sugar cookies onto the cooling rack nearby.

“I had an… errand to run,” he utters carefully, growing stiff when you wrap your arms around his torso and rest your head upon his shoulder. Calculatingly, Five hesitantly rests a hand on your back while the other comes to comb his fingers through your hair. It’s a familiar motion that he is easily able to replicate in order to portray himself as the same doting partner you know and love. Lila had sworn him to secrecy, but he wasn’t sure just how to break it off with you without telling the truth. So for now he would go through the motions and hope to god you didn’t pick up on the fact that something was completely wrong.

“I’m happy you’re here,” you profess earnestly, peering up at him with fluttering lashes and a devoted smile. “I love you, Five.”

His chest tightens in agony at your words, his hold on you tightening in an attempt to ground himself as he harshly swallows down his discomfort. He meets your adoring gaze and smiles, carefully tilting your chin upwards to meet his lips in a tender kiss. It’s believable enough to keep you feeling secure and oblivious to his detachment, and he hopes that maybe if he keeps this up he can forget all about Lila and go back to normal.

Even if it means he’s just playing a part.

Pulling away, he meets your loving stare and offers you a small smile. Hesitating, as if he has to force the words out of him, Five murmurs out a quiet, “I love you, too.”

And you believe him.

[rhosgobelbun]

steve's been knocking on doors trying to find eddie. he would be annoyed that all he's found are couples and groups in states of undress but this is some random house party, so it's what steve expects.

plus he's too relieved that he hasn't walked in on eddie being a part of any of it.

steve knows it's gross to feel this way. he trusts eddie 100%. it's not right to let past relationship problems cloud his judgement when it comes to what he has with eddie - who hasn't given him any reason to doubt.

but eddie is so new. been together for only 2 months now new.

and tommy was so old. childhood friend/fucked up situationship for 10 long years old. just ended for good a year and a half ago old.

so even though he knows, hopes, prays, that it's ridiculous to compare the two together, steve still checks the bathroom and makes sure the man on his knees in front of some blonde cheerleader isn't his boyfriend.

and then promptly ducks down to avoid a brush the blonde cheerleader throws at him.

'sorry!' steve apologizes. he hurries to slam the door closed and makes his way to the very last room at the end of the hallway.

maybe he left? eddie didn't want to serve here anyway, rich druggie clientele be damned. so even though they came together, maybe eddie had an emergency and-

steve cuts that thought off because well. he found eddie.

'baby!!' his boyfriend exclaims, alone, sitting on the floor in the middle of some random strangers room with a jar of peanut butter. he's got a spoon full of it half way up to his mouth and his eyes are red.

at least 4 brownies deep red.

the wave of relief he feels is actually pretty concerning, but steve will think about that some other time since he's too busy trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the long haird idiot looks.

'eddie, what are you doing?'

eddie looks guilty and for a split second steve thinks maybe he did walk in on eddie with someone else. (maybe he's waiting on them? maybe they already left?)

then eddie holds up the jar of peanut butter and says in the saddest voice, 'i needed it stevie, i don't remember how long it's been since i've had peanut butter. but i didn't think you'd find me! stay back! don't you come any closer!'

so this whole time while steve's been worried that eddie was off doing what tommy used to do to make him jealous, eddie just snuck off and hid away to eat peanut butter because steves' allergic.

starting to snicker, steve goes to sit across from him. 'i can be around it babe, im not gonna die.'

eddie rushes to close the jar, spoon shoved inside and all. he gives steve the stink eye. 'i know what peanut allergies can do to some people. i refuse to watch you blow up like a tomato.'

steve rolls his eyes and reaches out, acting like he's gonna touch the jar.

eddie yells. jumping to his feet, he scurries out of the closet like an over grown rat, 'steve harrington this is exactly why I was trying to eat this away from you!'

steves laughing now, giggling like a hyena. he can't believe he ever doubted this man.

later that night - after eddie has showered and brushed his teeth at least three times - when they're tucked away in eddies room under the covers, steve talks to him about his freak out. eddie apologizes for leaving him alone at a strangers party like that. he holds him close, gives steve a ton of kisses and promises to create a DND character that represents tommy.

'i'll turn him into a toad and kill him off in the most gruesome way imaginable. he'll be murdered to death, the kids will be traumatized. it'll be great. just you wait and see, my love.'