#all i remember was it was called The Golden Year about a girl moving to live with her dad after living w/her mom

[13beachesxx]

when the first sip of an iced coffee takes you back to when you were 15 in Cambridge in Starbucks trying iced coffee for the first time in your life….good stuff.

[perlelune]

Lucky | Rafe Cameron

For years, you had a crush on your best friend, one he never returned. You thought he'd be happy to see you move on. You couldn't be more wrong.

Warnings: NON-CON, Kook!Reader, Jealousy, Angst, Pining, Toxicity

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

Your lips curl skyward as you scroll through your phone. As you read every message it’s hard to refrain from kicking your feet and giggling as if you were back in middle school. It’s how he makes you feel. Giddy. Wanted. It’s your first time experiencing such feelings and you’ve been perched on a fluffy cloud all afternoon. 

But remembering you aren’t alone, you try your best to keep a straight face. You’re in a bikini bottom and an oversized shirt by the Camerons’ pool. It’s a bright, sunny day, not a cloud in sight in the sky above Tannyhill.

The unforgiving, North Carolina heat has already melted the ice cubes in your drink. If it weren’t for the generous amounts of sunscreen you've applied earlier, you’d already be sunburnt from hours spent outside.

Rafe lifts his sunglasses from the edge of the pool, curiosity dancing in his blue eyes.

“You’ve been glued to your phone all afternoon, princess.”

You suppress your smile. Feigning nonchalance, you flip your phone down for good measure. 

“I have not.”

“Have too,” he counters, in the exact same way he used to utter those words when you argued back and forth as kids.

He hauls himself out of the pool. You’re graced with the sight of Rafe stepping out of the water, droplets glistening over his broad, toned chest, defined abs and thick, bulging arms. He’s been going especially hard at the gym since summer began. It shows. Your best friend now looks like a breathing, walking Abercrombie ad. You wouldn’t be surprised if the brand gave him a call soon. Not that you’d tell him that. No need to blow up Rafe Cameron’s over-inflated ego even more. 

As you watch him run his fingers through his drenched blonde locks, his golden ring glinting under the sunlight, pride flutters through you. Once upon a time, the sight of Rafe Cameron in nothing but his swim trunks would have had your heart racing and your entire body flush with shameful heat at how unbelievably attractive you found your best friend. 

That was before. When you still clung to the crush you harbored for him for years.

You and Rafe have basically known each other your whole lives.

Since kindergarten specifically.

Back then, you were heavily bullied...and Rafe was the worst of them. He would tug your hair, pull your chair out before you could sit so you’d crash on the floor and call you mean names while other children cheered him on. It only stopped when you had a crying fit in front of him one day. The five year old was stumped. He spent the rest of the year apologizing and bringing a variety of gifts to you. You forgot about the mean things he did and said easily, won over by his determination to make you forgive him. A peculiar friendship blossomed from that. The two of you have been inseparable since then. 

Years flew by.

Then one day Rafe came back to school walking and talking differently. He had filled out during summer break. He was broader, taller, his towering frame even allowing him to reach above your locker. All the girls noticed, including you. You started developing a little crush on him. One he never acknowledged.

He had a girl on his arm at every party, often disappearing with them upstairs. It wasn’t hard to guess what he was up to with those girls. For many years, you daydreamed about what it’d be like to be one of those girls. The girl that caught Rafe Cameron’s eye at a party. The one that would have his full, undivided attention. The one he’d flash a flirtatious grin at and undress with his gaze the entire night.

You wanted to be that girl more than you wanted to breathe.

He never treated you that way though. The two of you hung out all the time. You would play video games, smoke weed, drink the expensive Kentucky Bourbon he stole from his dad’s cabinet and talk about everything and nothing. 

He would always joke that you were like a sister to him. And based on the amount of time you spent at the Camerons house, you might as well be a long lost relative.

Getting over Rafe Cameron had been tantamount to an exorcism. Loving him was so embedded into your flesh, tattooed onto your soul. It was all you knew. Rafe, Rafe, Rafe…

He was everything you longed for. Until he wasn’t. 

It happened one year when you attended the Camerons’ new year’s eve party. You entered the living room and caught him making out with a gorgeous brunette on the balcony. As your heart broke, again, realization slipped through the crack. Pining for someone who doesn’t see you, never saw you, will lead you nowhere. Your suffering was of your own making…and you wanted to suffer no longer. Why fantasize about something that will never come? You’d rather look to the future. 

So you chose to move on.

As fireworks set the night sky above Tannyhill aflame, the last embers of your longing for Rafe Cameron flickered out. 

It’s how you wound up giving dating apps a try. Talking to guys in real life is nerve-wracking but online, you find it much easier. While most conversations you had fizzled out quickly… Garrett has been different. He’s never tried to pretend with you and has been nothing but sweet and inquisitive about your hobbies, hopes and dreams. You’ve talked to him for hours on the phone and he’s made you laugh and smile a countless number of times. As for the icing on the cake…He’s been clear about wanting more than a hookup. He even suggested the two of you should meet up in person soon.

“What got you smiling like that anyway?” Rafe says, tossing the towel around his neck.

“Nothing,” you reply with a shrug.

“If it’s nothing, you can show me.”

He tries to swipe your phone but you’re faster. You rise from your chair and pick it up before he can take it.

His eyes narrow.

“I thought we had no secret for each other,” he says, an accusation laced in his tone. He’s never liked you keeping things from him, no matter how small or insignificant.

“We don’t.”

He gives a slow nod. Then he smiles. And you suppose it should have been your warning, that you should have seen it coming. But you don’t see anything coming. His hand shoots out and he shoves you aside. 

He plucks your phone from you like it’s nothing, using his height to keep it out of reach.

“Rafe! Give me my phone back,” you urge.

He makes no effort to abide by your request, glowering at the screen while scrolling.

“Who the hell is Garrett?”

“J-Just a guy I started talking to on this app...” Your voice dwindles as you cower under Rafe's hard gaze.

Disgust scrunches his handsome face.

“I thought you deleted those dating apps. We talked about this.”

You did talk about it. After a dispiriting streak of bad luck on these apps, he wheedled you to delete all of them. Rafe said all the guys on these apps wanted was to use you for a quick, meaningless fuck. That you were too gullible and would just be taken advantage of. He said that you deserved better and the right guy would come along eventually. You found yourself believing him. A lot of time, you ended up ghosted or the guys failed to show up anyways. It made you question what is so repulsive about you that made guys steer clear.

“I wanted to try again.”

“Well Garrett’s a douchebag name. I don’t like him for you.” He snickers. “Look at that. He’s playing you and his game isn’t even good. You’re really falling for this corny shit, princess?”

He starts reading some of the compliments Garrett paid you aloud, drawing a round of guffaws from Kelce and Topper. 

Your cheeks come ablaze.

“Now you’re just being mean,” you lament, using a lapse of distraction to retrieve your phone.

Gulping the tears threatening to spill, you rush back inside. Kelce’s taunting voice echoes behind you.

“Guess that one got past you, huh, Rafe?” 

“Shut your mouth, bro,” Rafe snaps angrily. 

You lean on the counter and gather your breath. The tears subside. You remind yourself that this is just how Rafe can be. Callous. Inconsiderate. 

It’s not who he really is. 

It’s just a bit hard to recall when he has those moments. Those aggressively insensitive moments. 

You open the fridge and grab a cool drink. Your throat is parched and you could use one.

When you pivot, you nearly spill the can.

Rafe’s towering frame impedes your path.

“You scared me, Rafe,” you say, unleashing a tremulous exhale.

He studies you, concern glimmering in his ocean gaze.

“I wasn’t trying to make you cry, I swear.” He shrugs and scratches the back of his neck. “I just meant he sounds like an asshole.”

“You’re an asshole,” you say, bumping into his arm as you sidle past him. 

His brows draw together. He isn’t used to you addressing him that way. With anything other than sweetness dripping from your tongue. 

You can tell he’s reeling at that alone. Getting the tiniest taste of his own medicine…from you of all people.

He approaches you as you swallow a sip of your drink. 

“Ouch. I’m just looking out for you, princess.” His fingers slot beneath your chin. “You know that’s all I ever try to do, right?”

He flashes you a charming smile. That smile you could never resist. It used to be your Achilles’ heel. Despite your changing feelings, Rafe still possesses the uncanny ability to make you forget why you were even mad at him in the first place. Like right now.

Your shoulders sag.

“I know.”

Blue eyes dive into yours. 

“I want to meet him.”

You retreat, your brows knitting. 

“Meet him, why?”

“I want to make sure he’s good enough for you.”

“I can decide that myself.”

He snorts, his focus darting away before returning to you.

“You’ve never known what’s good for you.” You flinch. “I can’t believe you didn’t even tell me you were talking to someone. I tell you everything. Shit, guess I’m an idiot, huh?” His jaw clenches. “...Cause I thought you did too.”

You inch closer to him and wrap your fingers around his forearm. 

“Rafe, I’m sorry, okay.” You gnaw on your bottom lip. “It’s just that…”

“Just that what?”

You pause, mulling over how to best word what you mean to say. 

Your voice comes out a bashful whisper, your eyes clinging to the floor. 

“Every time I’ve told you I liked a guy, it’s never worked out for some reason. It’s probably my fault but…I just didn’t want to jinx it this time.” You nervously swing your gaze back to him. “I figured if I keep it to myself I don’t have to get my hopes up.” You can’t quell the smile that fights its way onto your lips. “Garrett and I are just seeing where it goes right now. So…things are good.”

“Oh, it’s Garrett and I, now?” he sneers.

“Rafe, don’t be like this,” you beseech, squeezing his arm. “You’ll always be my best friend; you know that.” You shift in your spot, your tone pitching with hope as you ask, “Can’t you just be happy for me?”

He stares at you a long time, so long that his eyes on you grow unnerving. After a while, he releases a deep exhale. 

Ignoring your question, he steps back from you.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he announces. 

“Rafe?”

You never get a response, his form vanishing down the hallway. A sigh ripples through your lips as you lean against the counter. Why is he being so difficult about this? It’s not like you’re not seeing him with a new girl every other week. You never batted an eyelash. You even encouraged him to seriously date some of them, the ones who seemed to sincerely like him and reminded you of yourself back in the day. 

You’ve always cheered him on no matter what. So it baffles you that he can’t return the favor. Crushes you even.

For the rest of the week, you don’t hear much from Rafe. He pretty much ignores you and even leaves you on read after you send him a string of pleading messages, which is your cue that you wounded his feelings somehow. You surmise Rafe isn’t used to your attention veering towards someone else. Perhaps he’s miffed at the prospect that getting a boyfriend means you won’t hang out as much anymore, that he’ll have to share you. Your friendship’s been a fixture in both of your lives for so many years. The one unwavering, steadfast foundation nothing could topple. Whatever occured in his life or yours, you’ve always had each other.

Change can be scary. 

But you don’t plan on neglecting the bond you have with Rafe just because you’re dating someone. He’ll always be in your life. He’ll always matter to you. It's what you meant to tell him. What you would tell him if only he bothered replying to your texts or answering your calls. 

Rafe has always teased you for bartending at the Island Club. In his eyes, you’re much too Kook for what he calls a ‘Pogue job’. But you enjoy it. There is a certain comfort in having things you earned through your own hard work and not your parents’ money.

…Though you can’t deny you might not have landed this position if not for your dad’s close friendship with the owner of the private club. You’re also painfully aware you don’t get yelled at or scolded for making mistakes as much as other employees. 

And on days like today, after you end your shift, Rafe has never failed to pick you up in his Jeep. 

He’s never missed a day. Which is why you wear a dumbfounded expression as you note the glaring absence of the familiar black car in front of the country club. It takes you a while to accept and realize the cold, hard truth. Rafe isn’t coming to pick you up today. 

It’s not the end of the world, of course. But it still makes your heart ache that he’d ditch like that without so much as an apology or heads-up. You feel kicked in the gut. 

You try to call him but it goes straight to voicemail. Resigned, you resort to calling for back-up. 

Sarah shows up in her truck with a bright smile. 

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” she quips, winking at you.

You climb inside the passenger seat. 

“Thanks for coming, S.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Since the oldest of the Camerons is currently denying your very existence, you figured you might as well call the Kook Princess herself to the rescue. His sister, Sarah Cameron. 

“I brought snacks so I better get a five-star review,” she jests, wiggling her eyebrows. She tosses you a bag of M&M’s that you gleefully tear open. “Doesn’t Rafe usually pick you up after work?”

The sugar melting on your tongue sweetens the bitter taste of abandonment.

“Well, he’s sulking, so…” you mumble around a mouthful of candy.

“Sulking?” Shock colors her tone. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do to make my brother mad. You’re like the only person he’s not a complete jerk around.”

“Well, he was one last time we talked.”

Sarah arches a puzzled brow.

You sigh and explain, “I started dating someone…Actually, we’re still at the talking stage, but…I didn’t tell him.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything,” she dismisses cryptically.

Her peculiar tone peeves you.

“I’m not gonna forget, Sarah.”

Her shoulders rise and fall.

“It’s not my place to say. It’s between you and Rafe.” She throws you a cautious glance, marking a brief pause before inquiring, “You’re not still in love with my brother, are you?”

Heat creeps inside your cheeks.

“I was n-never in love with Rafe,” you stammer. Inwards, you’re screaming. Was it that obvious at the time?

Sarah’s plump lips quirk in a lopsided smile.

“Sure.” 

Gratitude fills you. You’d rather leave this can of worms permanently closed. Lid tightly sealed and all. And the can tossed at the bottom of a lake. It’s embarrassing enough that you mooned over Rafe for as long as you did.

At least you find comfort in the fact that you’re over him now.

“You mind if we stop for ice cream on the way?” Sarah asks, adjusting her rearview mirror.

“No. I could go for one myself. This heat is killing me.”

“Cool.”

For the rest of the week, Rafe continues to dole out the silent treatment. You allow his childish antics to chafe you to a point. Then you elect to not let it bother you anymore. He can throw a tantrum if he wishes. You’ve done nothing wrong and you’re growing weary of being treated like you have. 

For over fifteen years, you’ve been a great friend to Rafe, listening to him rant whenever he needed an ear, making time for him whenever he requested it. The fact he’s being a dick right now is staggering. 

He frankly has no right.

After everything the two of you have been through, you hoped for more from him. While you’re aware he can be a jackass, you thought it was different when it came to you. That you were different. You suppose you were wrong. 

Friday comes around and with it arrives the excitement of the plans you have for the night. Garrett asked you out on a date at a fancy seafood restaurant. It’ll be your first time meeting him in person. You’ve been looking forward to it the entire week.

As you’re putting the final touches to your makeup in front of the vanity mirror, your phone flashes with a request for a facetime call. 

You swipe towards the green icon to accept the call. 

Rafe’s face fills your screen. 

“Hey, princess. I thought we could talk-”

“I’m kind of busy right now. Rain check tomorrow?” 

“Busy doing what?” He squints, seeming to register your attire. A brand new sundress you purchased with your tips from the Island Club. You paired it with wedge heels. You also switched your hairstyle to something more sophisticated for the night. “W-What the hell are you wearing? Where are you even going dressed like that?”

You heave out a deep sigh.

“Good night, Rafe.”

You tap the screen to end the call.

A rush of power floods your insides. You hung up on him. This is your first time doing that, hanging up on Rafe Cameron himself. 

Still, a sliver of guilt lingers alongside your pride. You quell it swiftly. You can’t be at his beck and call your entire life. Tonight’s about you. For once, you’d like to put your needs before Rafe’s.

Garrett comes to your house some time later. He has flowers in his arms. You soak in their scent for a few minutes. No one’s ever given you flowers before. It makes you feel special.

As he opens the door of his truck for you, he whistles in admiration.

“Wow,” he says, his gaze dragging over your frame.

Your skin warms at the attention, the kind you aren’t used to receiving. 

Fiddling with the flowy sleeve of your sundress, you inquire, “Am I what you expected?”

A besotted smile spreads on his lips.

“You’re even more beautiful in person.”

“Thank you.” 

You peer at him. His pictures don’t do him justice.

“You look very handsome. I like your shirt.”

His cheeks redden at your praise. 

You get inside his car. The two of you exchange casual chatter on the way to the restaurant. You’re amazed at how easy talking to him is. You’re a little shy but his clear interest in you helps you slowly climb out of your shell. 

Once you arrive at the restaurant, you’re escorted to your table. The light conversation resumes its flow, the two of you growing even more comfortable with each other. You like how intently he listens to you, even if his intense eye contact makes you wrestle the urge to look away. You nibble your lip as you peruse the menu. Mirth sways in Garett’s brown orbs when your stomach growls. You mumble an apology under your breath and he beams at you. You’ve been so anxious about the date for the whole day, you’ve forgotten to eat. 

A familiar voice erupts from behind you. 

“Well, look who it is. What a coincidence.”

You whirl, a gasp bursting from your throat.

“Rafe? What are you doing here?”

He stands besides you and Garrett’s table, his arm slung around a gorgeous redhead’s shoulders. It occurs to you haven’t seen him with that one before. Though you reckon Rafe rarely does repeat encounters. 

What shocks you more however is his very presence here. Of all places, Rafe and the girl he’s with could have been tonight, it has to be the exact same location of your first date with Garrett. 

What are the odds? 

However, you recall that with the assistance of the friend-finding app both you and Rafe have on your phones in case of emergencies, figuring out your whereabouts would be about the easiest thing.

Would Rafe go that far just because you wouldn’t yield to his whims one time? Would he truly be that selfish?

The shit-eating grin unfurling on his face answers all your questions.

“Well, I heard this was a good spot so I thought…” Rafe’s brows furrow as he waves his hand before the girl’s face, appearing to struggle remembering her name. 

“Jessica,” she finishes for him, disappointment decorating her pretty features.

He beams at her.

“Right. I thought that Jessica and I could check it out.”

He plops down next to you, forcing you to make space for him on the upholstered booth seat. Meanwhile his date sits next to Garrett. 

“You mind, princess?”

Awkwardness fills the air. The heavy tension sits on your throat as Rafe makes himself more comfortable, going as far as spreading his legs.

You scold him with your gaze, all but spelling out ‘Yes, I do mind indeed’.

You clear your throat and shift your stance, resenting how every tiny motion has your thigh grazing against his.

“Actually I…We’re kind of on a date, Rafe.”

He places his arm on the wooden edge above your head, his smile expanding.

“So are we. So why not double date?”

“I don’t mind,” Garrett offers as he takes in your concerned expression. “You two…know each other, right?”

You open your mouth to speak but before words can pour from it, Rafe wraps his arm around you.

“Best friends. She and I go way back. Isn’t that right, princess?”

His intense blue eyes settle on you. You swallow the lump in your throat. Anger can’t begin to describe how upset you are with Rafe right now for crashing your date, but you also don’t want to cause a scene, make things even worse than they already are. 

So you force a smile on your lips and nod.

“Y-Yeah, we do.”

Throughout the night, Rafe’s presence causes the date’s slow descent into a nightmare. Every time Garrett tries to strike up a conversation with you, Rafe interjects, his comments toeing the line between innocently inconsiderate and outright rude. He never lets the two of you have a moment, interrupting whenever Garrett looks at you for more than half a second. You grow weary of his antics. So does Rafe’s date. You can see the pretty redhead in front of him growing frustrated as he treats her as if she were a potted plant.

She ends up leaving the table to go to the bathroom but never returns. It doesn’t shock you. If someone inflicted upon you what Rafe has to the poor girl the entire night, you might take your leave as well.

By the time dessert comes, you’re on the cusp of tears. This is not how you envisioned your night going. 

The awfulness doesn’t stop there.

When it’s time to part ways, Garrett finds his truck in an unfortunate state. 

He curses under his breath as he hunkers down in front of his car. 

“Some punk sliced my tires.”

In the back, Rafe shakes his head.

“Damn, tough luck. Guess I’ll have to drive you home, princess.”

You scowl at Rafe before placing a hand on Garrett’s arm. He’s already on his phone to contact someone to help move his truck.

“I could wait with you,” you say softly. 

“It’s fine,” he replies. “Just go home. We’ll text, okay?”

Your tone turns contrite. “Okay. I’m so sorry… about everything.”

“Don’t worry about it. I still had a good time.”

“Me too.”

Despite his assurance, you aren’t too hopeful he’ll want to see you again. You know this wasn’t what he had in mind for the night. And neither did you. 

You reluctantly trail behind Rafe, looking daggers at him when he opens the door of his black Volvo for you. 

Not an ounce of guilt lurks on his handsome face, which tosses more fuel on the flames of your ire. 

You don’t utter a word, almost too angry to speak. The last shred of your patience fizzled out in the restaurant, as your so-called best friend basked in your misery, getting a kick out of making a mockery of your night.

If you talk, it won’t be to have a calm, level-headed conversation with Rafe. It’ll be to spew venom at him.

As he parks into the driveway of your house, he lets go of the steering wheel and says, “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

You draw a long, slow breath.

“You think?” you snap icily. You jump out of the truck and slam the door closed.

Rafe follows you to your doorstep. You fumble with the lock. Your fingers quiver so much, you can’t even open the door. After a few unsuccessful tries jamming the keys inside the lock, Rafe takes them from you. He opens the door and you stomp inside. 

You toss your clutch on a nearby table and whirl. 

“What the hell, Rafe?” you shout. “You embarrassed me!”

His shoulders lift and slump.

“Well, you shouldn’t have been there to begin with.”

Disbelief rounds your gaze. “What?”

“You heard me. You shouldn’t have been on a date with him.”

Folding your arms, you scoff, “Right. Why is that?”

Rafe inches closer to you, his eyes locking with yours.

“Because you should have been on a date with me instead.”

A weary exhale drops from your chest. Rafe’s declared many things while hammered but this one takes the cake.

“I think you’re drunk,” you dismiss. “You need to go home, Rafe.”

Rafe’s jaw ticks.

“My mind is perfectly clear, okay? If you’ll just listen to me-”

“Go home, Rafe.”

You nearly turn your back on him but Rafe’s sturdy hand fastens around your arm, yanking you back.

He takes a long pause, drinking you in.

Rafe takes a deep breath before confessing, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.” His throat bobs as he adds, “And I know you love me too.”

Your mouth tumbles open, shock snatching the very air from your lungs. You stare at Rafe. Perhaps you heard him wrong. In your wrath, his words may have landed in your ears a little warped.

But as you get lost in his sea gaze, the truth sinks into you. He is serious. Very serious.

A war of conflicting emotions breaks out inside you. For years, you longed to hear those words. But not like this. And the insinuation that he knew how you felt…That he let you suffer in silence while gallivanting around with those girls.

A fast surge of tears blurs your gaze.

“You knew?”

He cradles your face.

“I’ve always known.”

A shudder wracks through your frame.

“So w-why did you never say anything?”

“I figured you’d wait for me, that I could just have some fun. That it wasn’t a big deal.”

Ice fills your blood. Your tone becomes clipped, detached.

“I want you to leave.”

His hold on you doesn’t loosen, his cheek pulsing in frustration.

“Really? I tell you I love you after all this time and this is your response?”

“I haven’t had those feelings for you in years, Rafe. And right now…I don’t even like you as a person.” Rafe bristles at your blunt words, looking like you slapped him. Your mouth wobbles as you say, “You’re not who I thought you were. I want you out of my house and out of my life.”

Something shifts in his blue eyes. The air around you drops a few degrees as he pushes you further inside the room. Desperation lurks in his deep timbre.

“Come on, we can talk about this, princess.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Dread escalates within you when he doesn’t move. You’re hit with the daunting realization that you’re alone with Rafe, your parents away on a trip right now. Usually being alone with him wouldn’t have fazed you, may have ensconced you in a sense of security and comfort even. Not tonight. Tonight, you don’t recognize the Rafe standing in front of you. Your voice trickles out small and shaky. “R-Rafe, get out, I’m serious.”

His expression hardens. He shoves you into a nearby wall. You gasp as pain prickles along your back.

“Just admit that you love me too,” he roars. 

“I don’t,” you whimper as water brims under your lashes.

This propels him to the brink. There’s no time to process anything, Rafe hoisting you with ease. As he takes long, determined strides to your bedroom, your fear grows. He hurls your body into the bed. He fiddles with the buttons of his khaki pants until they come loose. A scream builds inside your throat, refusing to break past your lips as you linger in bewilderment. Rafe isn’t doing what you think he’s doing…what he’s preparing to do. There's no way. He wouldn’t.

Stupor girdles your motions. For a while, you gape at Rafe. As he approaches the bed, adrenaline rushes through you. You remember how to move.

But it’s for naught. Rafe is quicker than you, catching you when you rise and slamming you back on the sheets. He crawls over you. His blue gaze glimmers strangely in the darkness. Streaks of moonlight pour between your half-draw curtains, casting ominous shadows over his broad frame.

He cages you beneath him, shushing you as you croak out pleas for him to stop.

“I know you’re lying,” he rasps, scattering sloppy kisses alongside your neck.

He yanks down your dress and your breath hitches. 

“I’m not. I don’t-” Words wither on your tongue as he flicks his thumb over your nipple, his other hand patting underneath your dress. “I-I don’t love you anymore, Rafe.”

“I don’t believe you.”

His fist curls around the vee part of your thin lace panties, tugging roughly enough to tear the delicate material. You squeal as the lace dents your flesh when it rips.

Your heart bounces. You push against Rafe’s chest with newfound urgency.

“Rafe, stop.”

He snatches both of your wrists and traps them above your head. Helplessness chokes your airways as he pokes lightly at your entrance. He slides one finger between your walls and you keen, breath faltering at the abrupt intrusion. His lewd gaze remains trained on you as you squirm beneath him.

“Why do you keep lying, huh?” he accuses, forcing a moan from your throat when he curls his digit inside you. When your eyes squeeze shut in denial, he lets go of your wrist to frame your jaw.

A sob spills from your throat, your eyes flying open.

“Nah…I want you to look at me, princess,” he orders, jerking your head up so your gazes lock. You choke on your breath when he shoves a second finger inside you. He slowly drags his fingers in and out of you. Heat gathers in your core. You writhe against the sheets, resisting the urge to buck your hips to seek more of the friction. He grazes a uniquely sensitive spot and your lids quake, a soft whimper flying from your mouth. You clench around Rafe’s fingers and he unleashes a sigh of pleasure as you grip him. You feel him harden against you. Your stomach knots at the pressure. His eyes are glued to you, soaking every minute shift of expression while he pumps his fingers inside you. 

“I know you never stopped loving me,” he whispers, the alcohol on his breath seeping through your senses. “Think I don’t see the way you look at me?”

As you near your undoing, he removes his fingers. You sag against the sheets. The sudden emptiness leaves you with a mix of emotions you’re too ashamed to admit.

He presses his thick tip against your dripping entrance, gathering your arousal when he runs it along your folds. He pushes in slowly, his eyes rolling back at the sensation of your velvety warmth welcoming him. You tense at the intrusion. Your fingers curl into the sheets. Rafe’s broad frame covers yours, his forehead resting against yours as he whispers, “Say you love me.”

When you don’t reply, he slams his cock inside you in one swift stroke. Your back curves, a quiet scream ripping from your throat. Your chest lifts and falls rapidly as Rafe’s thick girth fills you up completely. 

He begins moving inside you, his pace relentless and unforgiving. While his length is splitting you apart, it’s hard to deny the warm tingles pulsing through your core, joining the pain in devious harmony. 

You go limp on the bed, his thick cock stretching you more than ever before. Every time he grazes your sweet spots, you spiral further down, your thoughts melting in the flames consuming your body.

“Say it,” he grunts, his warm breath fanning over your face. 

His bulging muscles coil beneath his clothes from the force he exerts to shove all of himself inside you. Heavy breaths drop from Rafe’s chest as your walls squeeze around him. Drenched locks of his dirty blond hair cling to his forehead, beads of sweat collecting between his furrowed brows and dripping to your parted lips. 

When you remain silent, Rafe’s large hand wraps around your throat, his tone more firm and menacing than before as he snarls, “Say that you love me, princess.”

His fingers crush your windpipe until you give in.

You can barely eke the words out, every harsh snap of Rafe’s hips into yours filling your vision with stars.

“I l-love you, Rafe.” 

The words ache as they part from your throat. A bitter truth you buried long ago, beneath thick layers of heartbreak and denial. One you hoped would never crawl its way back to the surface. One that hurts even more now, shatters you as it leaves your lips. Because you can’t tell if Rafe forced it out of you or if it was there all along. Perhaps it never left you. Perhaps, even after all your attempts to purge Rafe Cameron from your flesh and soul, even after he’s done the unthinkable to you…Part of you may still love Rafe, may always love Rafe.

As you grow overwhelmed with warring emotions, his cock still viciously ramming into you, you don’t know who you hate more. Him. Or yourself.

Salty streams spill down your cheeks. 

Rafe kisses them away, gently cupping your cheek while thrusting roughly into your cunt. His other hand explores your curves, clutching your flesh possessively. You can already feel bruises forming beneath his rough, insatiable touch. His eyes find yours, a possessive glint swaying in his intense blue gaze.

“Of course you do.” His lips stretch in a smug smile. “You’ve always been mine, princess, you just didn’t know it yet.”

[writersmacchiato]

Three Years | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Summary: You see Edmund and Lucy again in the most unexpected of places after their departure three years earlier.

Warnings: kissing (between Edmund x reader)

. . .

Salt.

It was misting over your face, tangy as it melted on your tongue.

The sun was just rising over the horizon, the endless blues of the sea turning golden and pink as they reflected the light.

Besides the creaking of the ship, and the shuffling of feet below deck as the crew began to stir and rise for the day, all was silent.

You had been waking up early every day since the voyage had begun. Without any reason, drawn to the crow’s nest in the misty grays of dawn before the rest of the world awakened. Watching the sunrise from the perfect spot.

The day would be like any other that had come before.

When Caspian, in all his kingly charm, had requested that you accompany him on this trip to the ends of the world you had been expecting more dangerous conquests. All you had battled so far was seasickness.

“Good morning. See anything?” The aforementioned king called up his usual greeting to you, hair ruffling in the cool breeze.

“Sea and more sea!”

You don’t hear it but can imagine the chuckle he releases through the rise and fall of his shoulders as he walks away to resume his check of the ship.

The sun continues to rise higher and higher into the sky, a cloudless day stretching away. You had snuck away to catch a moment of quiet in the crow’s nest.

Watching the empty waves was beginning to bore you.

When.

It couldn’t be-

“Caspian!” You yelled, jumping over the wooden beams that held you aloft. Grabbing hold of the rope to slide down, all the while yelling Caspian’s name.

“What is it?”

“There on the eastern starboard, I saw something. Someone.”

Caspian runs to the railing, quickly yelling orders at the crew to begin a rescue.

Rescue?

You’re too stunned by the possibility of a rescue to react when Caspian himself dives into the water. You’ve been watching the waters - there have been no sightings of any boats or ships for days now. Not even a rowboat.

The creak of the pulley grabs your attention, dragging first Caspian into view and then the young girl huddled against his side.

It couldn’t possibly be-

Lucy Pevensie. Daughter of Eve.

She shouts your name and crashes into you with little grace. You don’t care that she’s dripping water everywhere, returning her fierce embrace.

“Oh Lucy.” You can’t help the wide smile.

And then you see him, standing besides Caspian with his own smile looking at you.

“Edmund.” You breathe so quietly you aren’t sure you say anything, but Lucy pulls away and beckons her brother over.

He says your name just as quietly and gets close enough for you to touch him but he doesn’t make the first move, just looking and looking.

“Well come here!” You wrap your arms around him, relishing the way he grabs onto you gently. Almost shyly.

He whispers your name again, to himself, committing every bit of this to memory. He thought he remembered everything; but now he realizes how much he’s forgotten. The way you felt against him, the feel of your hair against his face, the way you smell.

A piercing scream cuts your reunion short, and Edmund has even more reason to despise his cousin when he feels the loss of your warmth against him.

“Welcome aboard the Dawn Treader.”

. . .

Edmund tried to fall asleep, he truly did.

The creaking of the ship and the swaying of his hammock made of his stomach roll, but he could’ve adapted to it if it wasn’t for the snoring of Eustace. He also couldn’t stop thinking about you and how much his heart swelled, almost painfully, when he thought about the look on your face when you saw him. Like you were happy to see him.

He’s sitting outside now, on the eastern stern of the ship, giddy at the feeling of the wind against his face. Narnian air.

“Edmund.”

His gaze cuts from the endless water to your form, seemingly materializing out of nowhere. Like a dream. It feels too much like the many dreams he had back home, wanting nothing more than to see you again.

“Mind if I join you?”

He shuffles over on the bench, trying to contain his grin when you open the blanket you brought and drape it over your shoulders and his.

“Tell me about your world.”

You play with his hand, tracing over the lines on his palm. Edmund doesn’t know how to describe it to you; he’s fought battles by your side, danced with you under the Narnian sky while fireworks flashed across the sky. In England, he’s no one.

“There’s nothing exciting there. Nothing like what we did.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I suppose so.”

You can tell there’s more he isn’t saying, something that is eating away from him. But you don’t pry. Not yet.

“Tell me. What have you been doing since I left?” Edmund asks.

You hum, fingers still tracing over the lines on Edmundo’s palm. Trying to reconcile three years worth of memories into something amusing or daring, but the truth is… that without Edmund, dealing with his sudden departure had left you in misery.

“Can I be honest with you, Edmund?”

He doesn’t answer right away, shifting slightly so he’s turned toward you instead of side by side. Hand gently squeezing yours.

“Of course you can.”

“The past three years have been amazing, theoretically. Caspian has managed to restore peace and order to the lands, Narnians have been rebuilding their lives and I… I missed you. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Edmund would love this’.”

“I missed you too.” Edmund says quietly. “Lucy had to drag me out of bed most days, because at least in my dreams I might get to visit you again.”

“Edmund?”

He hums in response.

You turn your body so you’re facing him too, the blanket you’d brought slipping down to your waist. Even with the chilly breeze from the ocean you don’t feel cold, feeling the warmth radiating from Edmund. From where his thigh touches yours. His hand still in yours.

You ask the question that you’ve thought about every night since he and his siblings walked through the tree back into their world.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?”

You don’t have to specify - when, where, what? Edmund knows exactly what you’re talking about.

The night of Caspian’s coronation, the sky lit up with fireworks. The way the colors flashed over your face, the whizz and crack of the fireworks vibrating through his chest. Your hands on his shoulder, his on your waist.

It felt like a moment torn out of a fairytale, the only thing missing was a twirl and a dip in the dance that ended in a kiss.

Instead, once the majority of the merriment commenced, the fireworks fizzled out and the food and drink all gone, Edmund walked you to your room. You remember the way your heart beat, so fast, feeling more nervous than you had on the battlefield days earlier.

“Goodnight,” Edmund had said, pressing a kiss to your hand and then he was gone in the castle shadows. The next day he was gone from Narnia.

“I did kiss you.” He has a hint of a smirk on his lips, but you can see the flush on his cheeks.

“On the hand does not count! Did you not want to kiss me?”

“Of course I did. I’ve spent three years thinking how foolish I was not to.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I knew Susan and Peter had spoken to Aslan and that they seemed upset. I had a suspicion of what they discussed. So, that night with you… I felt that if we got closer than we already had, I wouldn’t be able to bear it. Knowing how it felt and then leaving. I’m not sure I would’ve gone with them.”

“I thought I misread you.”

“I’ve spent three years regretting that night. I should have kissed you.”

“I think it’s time we rectify that, hm?”

You kiss him, and you’re struck by warm he is. Slow and languid, the kiss is sweet. Filled with years of pent up longing finally being released.

Shaking your hand loose, your hand slides up to his neck, gently guiding his eager mouth closer to yours. He breath hitches in his throat, biting back a moan.

It gets messy, clumsy. Noses bumping against each other. His hand finds it way to your waist, your own hands slipping into the loose hair at the nape of his neck. You pull him closer and closer until he’s pressed right against you.

You pull away with a heaving breath, Edmund chasing your lips.

“I need a breather.” You huff out.

“I’ve thought about doing that every single night since Caspian’s coronation.”

“Oh, you mean after you chickened out and didn’t kiss me? And then left for three years?”

Edmund rolls his eyes, pulling away in his stubbornness. “I didn’t see you making a move either, oh fearless one.”

“I think I just did.”

“Three years later.” He mocks.

You shut him up with another kiss, this time finding a rhythm with your lips that makes your toes curl.

The voyage ahead was certain to become more dangerous with each passing day, but here, wrapped in a king's embrace, you think of nothing else but him. Edmund.

[laneywrld]

call out my name | Lewis Hamilton

request: heyy, can we get a story with call out my name by the weeknd as the base line of the story .

word count: 3.6k

warnings: none

When you first met Lewis, you had a feeling it'd end like this.

If you could go back and change that night, you would, with no hesitation. You missed the days when Lewis was a nonfactor in your life when you didn't know he existed.

You remember that night all too well. Miami was always alive when the Grand Prix came around, your friends, like the partygoers they were enjoyed taking the opportunity to take on the vibrant nightlife and enjoy the crowds the race brought in.

It was an annual tradition, you could say, to party like tomorrow didn't exist when the lights shut down and engines roared to life.

When you first moved to Miami, you hadn't understood the essence of the sport or the crowds it brought in, until you met an overly enthusiastic Daniel Ricciardo.

You had no clue who he was when he quite literally stumbled into your path; his boyish smile and golden retriever energy made it almost impossible to be mad at him as his drink soaked your dress.

"I'm so sorry!" He calls out, stumbling over himself.

"You're not from here?" You called out as you reached down to help him stand up straight. His thick accent was a dead giveaway.

"No, I'm Australian."

"Long way from home," you shouted over the music, dragging his frame into an open seat further away from the dance floor.

"I'm working." He slurs, smiling up at you.

"Mhmm, doesn't look like you're working," you trail off, "what's your name?"

"Danny. After work fun."

"Ahh," you hum, "okay, understandable. I'm going to get you some water, okay? Did you come here with friends?"

"No. Was actually planning on making some friends." He laughs, and it makes you chortle as well.

"Miami is not the place to make friends Danny." You informed. "Stay here, I'm going to grab that water."

You saunter away, keeping an eye on the lean man as you approach the bar. You order a water, paying for the overpriced bottle with your Apple wallet, and quickly return to the drunken man. You don't know why you helped him; it was just in your nature to assist anyone you could.

Danny smiles up at you with an appreciative smile as you uncap the bottle for him, "Can you hold it, or do I have to give it to you?" You inquire.

"Give it to me, please."

You both break out into childish snickers at his words. "Easy there, buddy," you warn, tilting his chin up and directing the bottle to his mouth.

You pull it away, tightening the cap and placing it in front of him on the table. You then slide into the booth beside, "I'd feel better with myself if I stay with you for a while, just to make sure you're okay."

He nods, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows, "Yeah, I get it; I'm so shitfaced right now."

It is quiet between the two of you for a while, you constantly reaching over to make sure he's hydrated and him smiling at you all dopey-like.

"You from here?" He asks as he starts to regain his sober mind.

You shake your head, "No, just moved here though."

"You can be my Miami friend." Danny grins.

"I'll probably never see you again after tonight, Mr Australia." You joke, nudging his shoulder with your own.

"I come here every year around this time." He announces. "Work."

"Work," you nod. "Right."

"Yes or no?" He prods.

"Have to see if you can hang; it doesn’t look like you can." You joke.

He scoffs, leaning away and eyeing you. "Please, I am a good time, the best time."

"Sir, I've just met you, and I'm taking care of your drunk ass." You cackle.

"How about this, stick with me for the rest of the night, and if we have a blast, every time I'm in Miami, you ride with me."

"You're going to get white girl wasted every time?" You inquire with a raised brow, and he laughs hard.

"Probably."

It was safe to say that Daniel was a blast. Even if he did party like a fratboy, you enjoyed his company. He gave you the energy of a teenage coming-of-age movie, doing whatever and saying whatever with his friends. It was a connection you hadn't experienced before.

And you enjoyed it, you liked spending time with your Australian friend. Which is how you ended up meeting Sir Lewis Hamilton six years later.

Lewis didn't know why he allowed his enthusiastic coworker to convince him to spend a night in Miami with him. The only solace he found in the situation was knowing that he wasn't the only driver there. Everyone was there, in a section booked by no one other than Daniel Ric himself.

It was nice for sure, and Lewis was curious as to how Daniel, of all people, knew so much about the lively city of Miami and their restless nightlife.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lewis, just felt out of place a little bit, without his usual crew.

"Hey Guys, I'll be back in a second, I'm going to grab my friend."

Lewis rolls his eyes taking another sip from his glass.

He doesn't know who he was expecting, a Ken doll, a high-energy frat boy like Daniel, or even a valley girl with a high-pitched voice. This was Miami, so logically his smartest anticipation would be a surgery-riddled Kim Kardashian lookalike. But not you, Lewis would never expected you to enter the section, arm wrapped around Daniel's waist as you cackle at whatever nonsense leaves his mouth.

He is instantly intrigued, his phone being powered off and stuffed into his hoodie pocket.

You were beautiful with your rich complexion and beaming grin as he walked you down the line introducing you one by one.

His eyes never leave you as he watches you interact with everyone. You cloud his vision as you get closer. His eyes trace your hair and flow down to your brows and your alluring eyes. His view travels down your nose and lingers on your spread lips. And he physically lets out a sigh as he traces over your body.

You would drive him mad. He knows it.

-

As you take the time to introduce yourself to Danny's coworkers, you aren't surprised to see, well, to make it short, people who are not of your crowd.

But to your surprise, they're all friendly and welcoming. You're not surprised to see that you have met some of them before on your trips with Daniel or when you fly out to see him.

When you reach the end of the line you see him and your confidence falters as your eyes meet his. You should've known by the way his eyes were drinking you in that he'd be a problem.

With conviction, you approach him, bearing a sly smirk on your face.

"I'm y/n." You declared, and Lewis returned the same decency.

"I'm Lewis."

Your hands meet in the middle and he has a soft grip on you, refusing to let go.

"What's a girl like you doing with Daniel."

"He's my friend." You reply.

"Just a friend?"

"Just a friend." You confirm, and the way he looked at you through his fluffy lashes was evidence enough of what was to come between the two of you.

-

Lewis wasn't all that the media portrayed him to be. He wasn't overly confident or carefree. He actually worried a lot and was stressed a lot.

You knew that he felt like he had something to prove. You met him at his peak, and even now, when he feels like he's at the worst in his career, you're still here.

"So you're going to leave?" You hum, rubbing your fingers through his parts.

"Do you think I should?"

He looks so stressed out that is it has your heart is aching for him.

He's slumped like a kid in your lap with his face set in a frown. "I think that if you're unhappy and there are ways that you feel can change that, that you should look for something new, yes."

"Did you mean what you said last time?"

You think back to the last time you were in his presence, how he had gotten drunk for the first time in years. You wince internally as you recall how you had to nurse him back to health that night, how he cried like a baby when he mentioned how alone he felt at Mercedes. Lewis Hamilton wasn't used to being an afterthought.

"Yes, I don't think they appreciate you, Lewis. I don't think they are valuing your feedback or honoring your talent. I think they are making you miserable." You confess. "There are so many other teams that would love to have you, who would fight for you to reclaim your eighth. I don't think you should keep going through this with that team. Look at how they have you."

"Is your favorite team still Ferrari?" He opens his eyes and stares up at you.

"Duh,"

When you first met Daniel, you had only heard of the sport, but as time went on, he fully immersed you into the world of Formula One. You quickly took a liking to the red team and its intricate history in the sport. When you met Lewis in 2018, he was shocked that you knew so much about them (and barely anything about him).

"Don't tell me you're considering Ferrari, Sir Hamilton." You grin and he only smirks up at you.

"We'll see."

-

After the eventful first night you had spent with Lewis nearly six years ago, Miami has become a frequent destination of his. And New York of yours. The two of you guys had a chemistry unlike any other, every night filled with breathless pants and chants of each other's names. It was electric and erotic all at the same time.

You were fully aware that you and Lewis weren't necessarily together.

You were fun for him and him for you.

It was a mutual agreement, a bond strictly built from the amazing sex that the two of you had together.

You were aware that when the time came for Lewis to settle down and spend the rest of his life together it probably wouldn't be with you. You had believed you'd come to terms with the fact. But the idea of you two being together in the future still lingered in the back of your mind.

But as you scroll through Twitter, images and small clips of Lewis walking hand in hand with a Brazilian model have your heart tightening.

It wasn't like Lewis hadn't given you that false hope of a relationship, because you'd like to think that all of those little small things were him giving in. Surrendering that stupid ideology of his that made him believe he was a permanent bachelor.

You'd been by his side and in his bed over and over again for the last six years. And you’d be doing the same again tonight.

You almost feel grimy, sitting and waiting for him in his hotel room as he takes another woman out on a date, but a part of you knows that you’d accept anything from Lewis. You had standards and you had morals, but for a man like him, you always seem to throw them all out of the window.

Your phone vibrates and pings as your social media erupts in a frenzy.

That was another thing that had your mind in shambles right now.

How open he was when it came to you.

How quick he was to show you to the public, none of his other flings had gotten that opportunity, well until whoever this chick was.

Before you, Lewis hadn't introduced his "fun times" to his friends or even bothered to take any of them to the track.

That was something reserved only for you, though, you feel sort of naive, watching the tan and leggy woman prance around hand in hand with Lewis as he leaves the paddock.

You feel like you're stuck at the crossroads as you wait for Lewis to return.

He'd flown you out here partly because he claimed he missed you so much and the other half because of how much of a hard time you'd been having with your life in general.

Lewis was also a sort of saving grace for you, when you were with him, none of your other problems mattered. So you were quick to accept his invitation.

You'd never have accepted if you knew that he'd be playing a cruel game with you like this.

When the door creaks open and he emerges with a happy grin on his face, and bags filled to the brim with what you know are gifts for you, you can only grimace. Your attempt at a smile seems good enough for him as he approaches you and places a sudden kiss on your head.

"Hey love," He smiles, "I've got some gifts for you, yeah, knew you'd need a pick me up."

And you can't help to wonder if you'd needed the pick me up from his actions or what had transpired within this last week which was the sole purpose of you going to see him.

"I'm going to wash up, really fast, yeah? And then it'll be me and you tonight."

You say nothing as he places the bags at your feet and rushes into the bathroom.

You don't move, but you allow your eyes to skim through the bags and sigh as you see just how much he spent on you.

You had gone and done it.

Gone and made some glorified elaborate fairytale out of a man, who'd only treasured your body and in return showered you with gifts.

You laugh at yourself as your hand comes up to palm at your forehead.

You were his goddamn sugar baby, not the kind of woman he'd settle down with.

You feel even more stupid at the realization, that all of the nights you'd lay with him and console him after giving him your body were not as you had made them out to be.

It wasn't romantic, it was transactional. Those nights where you offered Lewis emotional solace always came with a hefty reward the next morning.

And now, you feel tainted, knowing that all it took was a simple call of your name for you to come flying to him and land in his bed, wrapped around his body.

You found Lewis in his prime and stuck by his side through his decline. You comforted him throughout his entire descent down the totem pole. Helped him out of that broken place, and gave him reassurance and something to look forward to.

You treasured this man.

Put him on top, time and time again, when he would leave you feeling used after your time together. And if it was up to you, you'd probably continue this cycle. Giving him your all and getting nothing in return.

You really wanted him, you wanted him to want you, which is why you were fine with keeping his bed warm, at least he wanted you in some kind of way, craved you even if it wasn't the way you wished to be desired.

When he emerges from the steamy bathroom, body clad only in a pair of briefs and his body soft and glowing, you swallow back all of your thoughts allowing yourself to take him in.

He nestles beside you on the bed, taking one of your hands in his, "everything okay?"

You can only push out a meek "yeah."

And the night goes on as planned.

The dim light of dusk spills through the blinds of the grand hotel room, casting long shadows that dance across the walls. You sit against the headboard, The melancholic melody of the empty night mirrors the turmoil in your heart.

Six years ago, you met Lewis at a nightclub, your paths crossing in a haze of neon lights and pulsing music. He was charming and mysterious, with eyes that held secrets and a smile that promised adventure. Your connection was instantaneous, a spark that quickly grew into an all-consuming flame. You spent endless nights talking, laughing, and dreaming about a future together. Well at least on your end.

But as the years passed, you began to notice the cracks in your seemingly perfect world. Lewis' past as a bachelor was a shadow that loomed over your situationship, a constant reminder of the freeness he carried within him. He would disappear for days on end with no communication, leaving you in a state of anxious uncertainty, your mind racing with thoughts of where he might be and who he might be with. Yet, you had no right to concern yourself with these sorts of things.

As you lay in bed, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on you, you find the courage to ask, "Lewis, do you love me?" His silence is deafening, and the look in his eyes speaks of a love that is nonexistent, a love that is more of a need for you than a want.

"I care about you," he finally whispers, his voice tinged with regret. "But my heart belongs to someone else. I’m sorry."

Your world shatters at that moment, the pieces of your heart shattering like broken glass. You know you have to let him go, to find a way to heal from the pain of a love that was never truly yours.

You realize that you have been holding on to a love that was destined to fade, a love that has left you feeling empty and lost.

You deserve a love that is real and true.

He’s like medicine, he makes you feel good and at the same time, he’s like poison, running through your system and finding a new part of you to sicken. Lewis is a walking contradiction, you don’t know if he’s helping you or hurting you, if he loves you, or if he hates you. Surely, he hates you, why else would he be okay with making you feel like this?

And as the city lights flicker on, you vow to never lose yourself again.

You shouldn't ask, because you know you can't bear the weight of his answer but you do.

"The woman from earlier?"

He sighs, his response weak, "Yes."

"So no more us? Right?"

"I think this is the last time." He admits and you swallow back your tears.

"Okay."

"I still want to be your friend."

"We were never friends Lewis, and we're not going to be friends after this."

Lewis swallows, sitting up to catch your gaze through the darkness.

For years, you and Lewis had maintained a delicate balance, a friends-with-benefits arrangement that allowed you both to keep things uncomplicated. You cherished the intimacy, the shared moments of laughter, the comfort of his presence. But deep down, you always knew that this arrangement had an expiration date, an inevitable end that you tried not to think about.

And now, that end has arrived. Lewis has fallen in love with someone else. You can only turn away from him.

You stand up, the cool air of the room a stark contrast to the warmth of the bed. You begin to gather your clothes, each movement mechanical, your mind numb with the reality of it all. You glance around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings that now feel foreign and distant.

As you pull on your jacket, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are filled with unshed tears, your expression a mixture of sadness and resolve. You know that this is the moment you have to let go, to walk away from a love that was never truly yours.

You think it's kind of ironic.

How you'd been there for Lewis, and when you needed him most, he's leaving you behind.

"Do you love me?" Lewis' voice echoes from his place on the bed.

"No." You lie. "It was fun, was fun being a pit stop for you." You chuckle.

"It wasn't like that-"

"No, it's fine, we weren't anything, you fucked me and brought me gifts in return, I ate that up, that's all. I knew I was only here until you made up your mind, I'm happy you did."

You had a tendency to become a bitch when you were hurt and you knew that your words were low blows, but your pride was too hard for you to allow Lewis to see himself affect you in real time.

In reality, you'd hoped that if the unfortunate and impending doom would occur, that Lewis would have the decency to allow you to fall out of love with him first.

Then it wouldn't hurt.

You knew what the arrangement was, you knew that you and Lewis were technically nothing and you always thought that when the day came for him to finally leave you, you'd be fine. You'd feel nothing. But you do.

It feels like when that one character who doesn't care about dying has a sudden brush with death, how almost dying rids you of every sane thought you have, a person who fears nothing all of a sudden fears death, fears everything.

You always thought you'd feel nothing, but losing, could you even say losing Lewis? 

Being left by Lewis feels terrible, being left by him feels scary, like everything you knew before was not as it seems. 

You always thought you'd feel nothing, but you feel everything you thought you never would.

And in the end, you still wanted him to stay. You wanted him to choose you. Even if he didn't want you.

here you go babes @greedyjudge2 !! I'm sorry it took so long <3

part two in the future fs.

[youthguk]

Follow the White Rabbit | jjk (m)

pairing: idol! jungkook x idol! reader

genre: smut, idols au.

words: 8.2k

summary: Jungkook never involves with other idols, valuing his reputation above everything else. That's until he learns about you. But when his attempt to get closer to you falls short because of false rumors, you're determined to make it up to him.

author’s note: all characters are 18+(!); this is a stand alone story. however, i do have some ideas for more parts, so let me know if anyone would be interested in more parts ♡

“Every adventure requires a first step.”

Jungkook was known for his pristine reputation amongst other idols. And that came with certain drawbacks. 

Being an idol meant being watched. Always. He had to learn it the hard way. But he learned his lesson long ago and now no one would ever catch Jungkook’s pretty shiny eyes darting even with the slightest interest in other groups' direction, especially girl groups. He was sick of that and decided to protect his peace by playing by the rules of the idol industry and fans, scrutinizing his every move, and craving to know more about his personal life. 

Jungkook distanced himself from everything that could disturb his peace. Surely, he is showing up to events, music shows, and year-end award shows with his group, eyes only on members and fans. He is here to do his job, and enjoy performance; he is here for music, not for drama. Jungkook is now called “heartless” and “brat” by his peers; every time some newly debuted idols approach him backstage — he politely bows back to them, not willing to maintain a conversation. Jeon Jungkook is pretty content with his reputation, they may call him “arrogant” or even “spoiled maknea”, he is not here to be liked. 

He is not here to make any new friends, he doesn’t need them, it's as simple as that. Jungkook doesn’t remember when was the last time that he even bothered to check the new groups. Well, of course, that was until the popularity of your group “Bunnies” became so big that it was just impossible for him to escape from you. 

“Hyung, what’s the deal with…what was their name…Bunnies?” Finally, Jungkook gives in and decides to refer to Namjoon who, unlike him, always keeps up with new trends and faces in their industry. “Obnoxious name for a group, by the way,” he adds. 

“Are you asking because of ____ ?” Namjoon teases his favorite maknae. 

“What? No…Who’s that?” Jungkook regrets asking as soon as the words flew out of his mouth. He is, insensibly to himself, crossing the line that he drew himself. Of course, he doesn’t care who you are, he was just curious about your group for a moment. 

“Oh, well, she’s the leader of Bunnies,” Jungkook doesn’t know you (and has no desire to get acquainted with you) and yet he can’t help but pity you. Leader of Bunnies. That must be hard for you. He chuckles at his thoughts which don’t go unnoticed by his own leader, “What’s so funny?”

“Sorry, hyung, but the name is ridiculous,” he shrugs and when met with a disapproving stare from his leader, Jungkook compliantly adds, “But hey, good for them, right? They even caught my attention. Well, it was impossible to not notice, I mean, their song was playing in every damn convenience store that I entered this past few months.”

“You should check the credits to the song.”

Jungkook doesn’t ask why and simply follows Namjoon’s suggestion. His eyes wander on his screen, gaze drawn to the same name repeated both in “Lyrics by” and “Composed by”. 

“That’s the leader…You were talking about her, ____, right?” And when Namjoon nods, Jungkook’s eyebrows are drawn together in confusion. “Why did you think I was interested because of her in particular?”

Namjoon heavily sighs, stretching his arms wearily, “Of course, our Jungkookie is all grown-up now and no one deserves his attention,” he playfully pats Jungkook’s head, knowing very well how annoying their golden maknae finds that. “She just mentioned you in one of their interviews and now it went viral, just like everything that Bunnies do.”

Yet again Jungkook cringes at the mention of your group’s name and, for some obscure reason, takes a mental note to check out that interview. 

_________

You were the oldest in your group and the most experienced one. When agreeing to debut in Bunnies you were promised by the company that you will simply be able to do what you already love the most — writing and composing songs while being able to perform. You never liked the public attention and criticism that comes with the territory, but as your producers and PR agents assured you, all that unwanted public attention will go past you. After all, you were the oldest and not the center of the group. Which was supposed to guarantee you a somewhat calm and untroubled career (as much as it was possible in this case, of course). 

“Welcome Bunnies!” The host of a variety show addresses your group excitedly. Nowadays, it was pure luck for any TV program to get your group to visit them, you were booked and busy. Literally. You don’t remember with what exact mindset you were getting yourself into this and what were you expecting from your group, but this level of success was unexpected, even for your company. 

Thanks to your introverted nature, your beloved members, who in a span of just a few months were all like little sisters to you, took most of the talking responsibility on themselves, leaving you only serious and tricky questions for discussion. 

“So, who would you call your celebrity crush or even ideal type?” The interviewer asks and all the eyes of your members fall on you, pleading for help. 

“Wow, no one has ever asked us that before!” You chuckle as the audience conformably bursts into laughter and you try to stall some more time before you come up with an appropriate and least provoking answer. “Well, I’d say it’s Jeon Jungkook sunbaenim, right?” You turn to your members, looking for support. But you know you already gave the wrong answer when you decided to respond with honesty. “He’s very talented and achieved so much, I always looked up to him, and still after our debut, there’s so much to learn from him.” You blurt it all at once out, not sure why you even went with so many details on your long-term crush on one of the most untouchable idols. You heavily exhale in relief, expecting a change of topic. 

“So, you would date him?” The interviewer decides to not give you an easy time. Surprise. 

“Well, your question was on ideal type,” you flash the audience with your elegant smile which they return with applause and you finally feel free when the next question has nothing to do with crushes and dating. 

That day you come back to your shared dorm with members, tiredly plopping on your favorite couch. 

“How bad was that, be honest,” you almost threaten Rinjea with your discerning stare. 

“It was just fine, stop it, unnie,” you are pretty sure you’ve heard that for the 10th time but it still doesn’t feel like the truth. “Plus, Jungkook is like the most unbothered and arrogant person, he probably will never even hear about this interview.” She brushes you off, again, but this time it works and you loosen up a little. 

The worst that can happen is being made fun of by your friends and that was the last thing on your mind. You scoff to yourself, were you really worried about Jeon Jungkook watching your interview? 

As time goes by, the worries vanish into thin air. Even though your secret crush is not so secret anymore, the general public discusses that with tenderness on how bold you were to confess that. 

Besides, there were no chances of you randomly bumping into Jungkook as BTS stopped performing on music shows. The only place for you to meet him is the upcoming year-end award shows, but by the time you start attending them with your group, your little awkward moment in the interview is long forgotten by you. 

However, the whole “being teased by your peers” thing happens anyway as on one of your very rare days off you find time to finally catch up with your only friend in this industry (besides your members, of course), Harin, who was not only a member of a group that debuted a year before you and a great artist but also a part-time personal provider of gossips on K-pop industry for you. 

“No, but why on earth you mentioned Jeon Jungkook out of all people!” She exclaims and you almost jump in your seat looking around you. It’s a Sunday morning; the cafe that you both decided to meet at is almost empty but you still feel unnerved mentioning any names. 

“Why not? I always liked him,” as you say that you are reminded by the disbelief on Harin’s face that you’ve never actually mentioned that to her before. “And nothing controversial about appreciating other musicians’ talent.”

“Talent my ass,” Harin scoffs, shaking her head. “You really know nothing about him, ____? ”

“I don’t understand.”

“Of course, our little naive ____,” she lets out a long sigh of pity, leaving you absolutely puzzled at this whole situation. “Let’s put it that way, he’s known for his promiscuous ways, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t understand,” you reiterate yourself, drawing your brows together, growing angry with your friend. You never idealized your favorite artists, but this sounded more like some cheap gossip, and you couldn’t stand that. “If anything, I’ve heard the opposite about him and his members.”

“Well, that’s all a facade,” she folds her arms across her chest sensing the lack of trust. “And if I told you that I experienced that first-hand, you wouldn’t believe that either?” She snorts. 

“You’ve slept with Jungkook?” Something between a high-pitched squeal and a whisper leaves your mouth. You could’ve never imagined this conversation would lead to this. And you hate the little prickle of jealousy and disappointment from this unwanted discovery. 

“Hah, he wishes,” your friend scoffs, pure amusement lingering on her face now that you are more invested in this conversation. “He tried to get into my pants, but I totally turned him down. I mean it’s like an indicator of no self-worth if you get involved with dudes like him.” You process Harin’s words wide-eyed, all of that still sounds as if about someone else, but you can’t naively deny that. “I guess they’re just like everyone else, using their status to get to girls and then run their mouths about them, ruining poor naive girls’ reputations.”

And that was your last straw. You knew you didn’t have the right to judge other people’s personal life but if Harin’s words were true, that was terribly disappointing for you. 

“I can’t believe that… that’s atrocious,” this conversation leaves a bitter taste of disappointment on your tongue that you’re not sure will be able to get rid of any time soon. “And I’ve never even heard about it!”

“You’re lucky you know me and can count on me warning you about douchebags like him.”

_________

Jungkook doesn’t remember when exactly he started falling into that rabbit hole. First, he watched the infamous interview, chuckling to himself smugly. Next, he listened to your group’s debut mini-album, replaying with special attentiveness songs in which you participated in the creation process. 

It’s been two weeks now, and his “for you” page was flooding with you. It was almost unbearable, and Jungkook would gladly get mad at someone if he wasn’t the one to blame. Well, your songs were good, to say the least. And in every performance, his gaze was automatically searching for you. There was something about you that was exceptionally enthralling to Jungkook; maybe it was how poised you always were, carrying yourself with elegance, while your younger members were always wild and loud. They could afford to be reckless and careless, as you were taking a lot of responsibilities on yourself. 

Jungkook was suddenly intrigued by you, wondering what type of person you actually were, as you never gave in any details about yourself except for your love for music and performing. He couldn’t explain it, but he had this confidence that you two would easily get along. 

“I bet our Jungkookie knows all Bunnies’ songs by heart now,” Jimin teases him while taking a break from practicing, noticing the song that is currently on repeat in Jungkook’s headphones. 

Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to ease exhaustion from hours and hours of practice for the upcoming big performance that they’re preparing for the award show. As he immerses into the song in his headphones (which is by pure coincidence written by you), he suddenly lights up with a genius, almost cute, idea (in his opinion). What if he approaches you tomorrow backstage and says hi? It wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? He hasn’t done that since… he can’t even remember, but surely he could try to get to know you and thank you for your kind words and even profess his own new-found love for your music. He is so intrigued by that idea and thrilled with the anticipation of your reaction, that he feels a sudden rush of energy. 

Oh, he can’t wait to see. 

_________

To Jungkook’s frustration, his plan utterly fails during the first day of the award ceremony; for some reason, you are always out of his sight and when he can finally approach you — your members are right by your side. The same pattern follows the next day, and the day after that. 

Jungkook starts growing impatient with you, even though he knows it’s out of your control — you are a leader, after all, and you can’t let your group be on their own. And you are absolutely oblivious to the fact that Jungkook wants to have a tete-a-tete moment with you. At some point, he even wonders if there’s a chance that you’re deliberately avoiding him, as he can’t catch even a fleeting glance from you. Maybe you’re just shy and careful, he calms himself, and in that case, he must meet you in person and reassure you that everything is fine.

It seems that luck was in his favor this time, as your group members were asked to leave the ceremony early for the reasons unknown to him, leaving you all alone. Jungkook can only pray that all his secretive peeking at you wasn’t captured by any fan cams. And when the ceremony is coming to an end, he notices how you start leaving earlier, not waiting for the usual curtain call where everyone gets on stage and says final goodbyes to the audience. 

Maybe you were anxious about big crowds, especially now, when you were all by yourself. Oh, how Jungkook wishes he would have been able to keep you company. While you walk through the seats, Jungkook manages to steal a glance at you without the usual precautions, as everyone’s attention is on you now anyway. 

You look beautiful, as always, he thinks to himself. Something devilish in that white short dress that you are confidently rocking tonight. He could watch you and the way you elegantly carry yourself all day, attentively studying your enchanting features. Oh, how Jungkook wishes he could stare at you freely but as soon as you walk behind the stage, he forces himself to shift his attention back to the stage, nervously shaking his leg. 

After you, a couple of other idols are following your example, rushing backstage before the official closing of the ceremony and Jungkook deems that’s a perfect opportunity. He throws something about promising to return soon behind him, to his members, and races backstage. His heart frantically hammering against his chest left him wondering when was the last time that he felt so free and alive. 

_________

You enter the waiting room of your group, but as the girls had to leave earlier, you are left in solitude which you, quite frankly, don’t mind. It’s the last event of this year that you had to attend. December was insanely filled with work; you would have never imagined that this one day could have been your life. You still can’t grasp if debuting was the right decision; it was hard being a trainee and life was getting only harder and harder now. Well, this is just life and work that you chose for yourself. 

While you were caught in your thoughts, the sound of opening a door goes almost unnoticed by you. But then it is followed immediately by some coughing, almost begging for your attention. You frown at the sudden intrusion and turn around. 

There he was. Jeon Jungkook himself awkwardly standing in your group’s waiting room, nervously pulling at the back of his neck. What the hell? You have never seen him this up close, and god was he the most beautiful human being that you’ve ever seen? Easily. You can’t take your eyes off him, mesmerized by the way his in-life beauty makes you think that photos don’t do him justice by failing to capture his true beauty. 

“Hello…I guess?” he’s searching for your eyes but instead, you grant him a respectful bow, which makes him chuckle with a clear disappointed undertone to it. “No need for that, please.”

At first, when his nervousness took over him, you were caught off guard — that wasn’t aligning with all the rumors that you heard about him. Maybe this was his way to charm you? How many girls has he tricked with that slick image of shyness?

You froze at your place, perplexed by his words. Well, what is he here for then? “Sorry, Jungkook sunbaenim.” 

“Just call me Jungkook,” he heavily sighs, eyes wandering around the room. 

“You can take a seat… Jungkook,” you tentatively motion to him; the awkward silence fills the room. 

You try to suppress all your emotions. You can only hope that your stiffness comes across to him as tranquility. It took a lot of self-control, after all, it was still Jeon Jungkook in front of you. It will take some time for you to fully drift his image in your head to the one that adheres to the disappointing reality.

Jungkook scoffs, a little bit irritated with your covert indifference to him. “You weren’t this shy dropping my name in interviews,” he casually states matter-of-factly. 

Your eyes widen at his sudden passive aggression. Whatever he was expecting from you, you disappointed him. But if anything, you believe that you are the one who has a right to be angry at him after discovering frustrating details about his personal life. 

“And I truly meant that,” you habitually slightly bow your head which irritates him a little bit. Yet you still don’t understand what he’s so upset about. 

“Doesn’t seem like that,” he is still standing by the door, now confidently leaning on it. “More like just another attention-seeker, using our group’s name to promote yourself.” 

His cruel and baseless accusation strikes you painfully. 

“I’m sorry but you have no right to blame me like that,” you pause for a second, trying to catch your breath as you hear your voice cracking from despair, “and I don’t understand why you are being so mean.” 

You see Jungkook’s tensed features soften slightly, a look of concern flourishing on his face from your shaky voice. “Fine, sorry, don’t know what’s gotten into me,” his voice now calming and soothing which resembles more his angelic singing voice that you adore so much. “I was very excited to see you in person, couldn’t wait for the right moment… so I decided to not wait any longer.”

His sudden confession and change of tone leave you utterly perplexed, why would Jeon Jungkook want to meet you? If anything, it should’ve been the other way around. “Me?” You point at yourself, still baffled by his words. “Why would you…”

“I somehow became a big fan, I guess,” you quirk an eyebrow at his “somehow” in dismay, but don’t interrupt. “You are a great artist, your songs…can’t stop listening to them,” he blurts it all out at once, a shade of nervousness back in his voice.

You look at him shocked, how is he telling you all these nice words that you dreamed of telling him? The world seems unreal now. 

“I don’t know what to say…I just…thank you very much,” you bow again despite his previous plea. “And I can’t believe that you are saying this because what I said during that interview, I truly meant that. You are one of the reasons why I decided to pursue singing.” 

Professing your gratitude to Jungkook and BTS was one of your dreams and you couldn’t miss this opportunity. However, the familiar tension and awkwardness were back between you two. 

It’s clear to you now how Jungkook was trying to get rid of that, but you were too resistant to talk casually with him. Not only because of respect: whether he liked it or not, he still was your senior and it was not easy to just treat him as your equal. But as much as you tried, Harin’s words about him were getting to your head. If everything Harin’s said was true, then he definitely wasn’t the best person to get close to. You would never want to do anything that could somehow damage your group’s reputation. It wouldn’t be fair to girls. 

Of course, you don’t even assume that he would be interested in you in that way, but that wasn’t particularly your concern. You knew yourself, and you knew very well that if he tried to make a move on you, you simply couldn’t resist him. And that was scaring you the most. So the least you can do is to stop whatever he’s trying to initiate before it’s too late. 

“_____, please, I really appreciate your words but I was hoping we could drop all these formalities,” his lips are lightly curled in a smile and your heart skips a beat at that sight. 

You cast a glance at his lightened up face, his doe eyes sparkling with sincerity. Your heart aches, how could Jungkook standing in front of you be the same person who Harin warned you about? After all, maybe he is genuine with you now and has no ulterior motives.

“If it’s because of the setting,” he points around, “then we could meet in more casual circumstances,” your eyes widen in shock, anticipating his next words. “We can hang out when both of our schedules match,” he suggests innocently and you feel your heart shrinking. Harin was right. 

“You can’t be serious,” you mutter, shaking your head. “I can’t believe that.”

Jungkook looks at you worriedly, taking a step closer to you. “I don’t understand, what’s wrong?”

You chuckle at his deceiving concern, whatever role he’s playing now, he’s too good, you almost feel ashamed for accusing him of having bad intentions, but you have to set aside your naivety and face the truth. “I can’t believe I am a fan of someone like you.”

“What’s wrong, I don’t understand. You said on national TV that you liked me, and now you act like me suggesting to get to know each other is a crime,” he raises his voice, and you can clearly hear that he’s hurt. 

“And you thought it was an open invitation?” You cross your hands. Only a month ago you would give anything for a little conversation with Jungkook, and now, you were arguing with him, fully enraged. “Besides, that was before I learned about your true nature.”

“Oh…that’s interesting,” Jungkook teasingly claims, making himself comfortable while plopping on the only couch in your dressing room. “Tell me more about it,” to your surprise, he became uplifted for no particular reason, his full attention dedicated to you only. 

“I know that you…” you’re startled by his attentive gaze, eyeing you up and down. And how are you supposed to formulate why exactly you’re upset with him? “I know you unabashedly use your status to get to…to use girls and then spread misinformation that ruins their reputation,” you pause to catch a breath. “You’re insane if you think I would ever get involved with someone like you.”

To your astonishment, he starts laughing leaving you dumbfounded. Jungkook leans his head back, not able to contain the laughter. “This one is definitely entertaining.”

“What do you mean ‘this one’?”

“The nonsense that you just told me, was quite amusing. Haven’t heard that type of thing in a long time,” he reproaches you while tilting his head to the side. 

“Nothing funny about treating other people so disgracefully,” you still stand your ground. “I’ve heard it from a reliable source,” you sound ridiculous to yourself but you don’t think it would be wise to say Harin’s name. What if he is actually dangerous?  

“As a fan you surely have little faith in me” he chuckles bitterly. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he mumbles to himself, the disappointment and pain in his voice almost breaking you. He tightens his lips together, jaw clenched. You know confronting him was the right thing to do. But why does it still hurt so badly? 

“If that was your intention all along, then yes. This was a mistake. ”

————

The bitter aftertaste of meeting Jungkook doesn’t leave you even after a week. You’re torn inside, feeling both guilty for causing him pain and angry for deceiving you and other millions of fans that he’s a nice person. Of course, he didn't owe anyone anything but it still made you cry yourself to sleep for several nights. You were constantly rewinding your conversation with him before sleep, trying to hold on to every little detail in your memory.

Harin turned out to be right — not that you doubted your friend’s words for a second — but still, Jungkook’s genuine disappointment with you felt more personal than just a guy being turned down from getting laid. And it was driving you insane, making you question your decision more and more. A torturing feeling that there was some missing part to this whole story that you couldn’t get hold of.

You desperately needed to discuss it with someone; your members never found out about what happened that day, and you weren’t ready to reveal his true nature to more people. 

Fortunately, during New Year’s week off, your schedule matched with Harin’s and you decided to invite her to your dorm, making it easier to discuss everything without filtering your conversations. 

“How were your holidays, tell me all about it,” you ask, as you both sit on the floor in your room, a bunch of food and snacks presented in front of you that you barely managed to save from your younger members’ eyes. 

“Well…” Harin starts grinning happily, making you excited for the upcoming story. “Guess who actually got to kiss someone special on Midnight.”

Your eyes widen, finally, some good news to talk about! 

“Girl, good for you!” You nudge your friend teasingly. “But with whom?” 

“Seojun from XTQ1,” she squeals from excitement and you try to seem delighted to match her energy. That name doesn’t ring a bell, and you’re not sure if you have ever heard about that group either. 

“I mean, who would have thought, right?” She continues to introduce you to her love story and you were truly happy for Harin.“Only a week before that I embarrassingly tried to hit on the one and only Jeon Jungkook,” Harin chuckles as if not believing that she actually did that. 

Her little remark doesn’t catch you immediately. And when the meaning of her words finally hits you, your heart sinks to your stomach. “Wait, what?” You almost whisper, eyes reverted on your friend. 

“But everything happens for a reason, see? Seojun is such a nice guy, I’m so lucky,” Harin is quick to appease you. 

“No-no, what you said about Jungkook,” you look at her carefully, scared to hear the truth. “You said he was trying to get to hit on you. What happened to that story?”

“Oh, about that…”Harin’sbody tensed immediately at your question. You see her contemplating in her head, as she presses her lips together. “Sorry, I don’t know why I decided to blatantly lie…” She finally gives in and you're left petrified. This is exactly what’s been troubling you since meeting Jungkook in person. “I guess, my ego got bruised by his rejection so badly that I wanted to put him in a bad light,” a nervous laugh escapes her mouth.

“Harin! But how could you?” You almost scream, looking at your friend bug-eyed. “It’s not just bad-mouthing, you made it sound like it was the absolute truth…it could have caused a lot of trouble if you said that to someone else!”

“I mean, I still wasn’t that careless, right?” She forces a laugh while met with disbelief plastered on your face. “I ranted to you out of all people, because I knew you are not the one to gossip around and you are only friends with me,” she says proudly as if that makes this whole situation better. “My delusional nonsense is always safe with you,” still no hint of remorse in her voice.

Somehow, Harin finds this situation awfully funny and it only makes you even more furious. How could she be so reckless with her words? 

“Oh, come on! Don’t be so angry with me,” your friend pleads, growing impatient with the sudden mood change of your conversation that was threatening to ruin your sleepover. “No one would even believe me, everyone knows these dudes are crazy careful, and wouldn’t approach anyone even at gunpoint to not cause even a little rumor.”

Her words cut you, a wave of guilt and shame taking over you. There’s a prick of betrayal as you realize how easily you trusted your only friend in this industry. And it scares you how naturally she lied to you and how facilely you’ve let that lie take over you and hurt Jungkook’s feelings. Now his reaction was making sense to you. And it breaks your heart to know that it was your reaction to his genuine attempt to get to know you. 

________

Jungkook was no stranger to ridiculous rumors and false accusations; both he and his group members have faced that since their careers started taking off. But then you, the person who he was approaching with nothing but sincerity, blamed him for things that he never did, and his heart broke a little. Your disappointment and frustration with him were his last straw. Again, he didn’t know exactly what he was expecting from that meeting with you. Maybe just a nice conversation that could have led to a good friendship and then, maybe, to something more. 

His personal life was almost non-existent at this point. Not only for the sake of maintaining this whole clean and noble reputation. Jungkook was not very fond of one-night stands and was a hopeless romantic, waiting for his one true love. Maybe it was childish but no one could keep him from believing in that. But his relationships could never withstand the crashing waves of his insanely busy schedule and lifestyle. Not something that he could hold against his ex-girlfriends, no matter how many times anyone claimed with their whole chest to be understanding and assuring him that they knew what they were getting into, no one could be prepared for this. He understands that. 

It’s a little bit embarrassing for him to admit to himself that he might have had some hopes for you. He felt like you two could have clicked and understood each other like no one else. Maybe he just fell victim to some idea of you and now he was just feeling the same disappointment as you’ve felt when discovering the stupid rumors about him? 

What’s even worse, Jungkook got reminded, once again, that people liked talking behind his back for no reason, villainizing him at any given chance. After a week, he forced himself to go back to listening to your music. It was still reminding him about sorrowful wasted chances, but he learned to brush it off. After all, it was neither his nor your fault. You didn’t know him personally and weren’t obliged to blindly trust him. 

Just when Jungkook feels like the wound doesn’t hurt him anymore, he receives a strange notice from his manager which invokes a sudden fluttering in his stomach. 

“Her company suggested for you two to film a short collab video with their dance,” his manager stated leaving Jungkook in pure shock. “It was ridiculous how bold they were to even propose this, but then we thought it might be beneficial for everyone. Of course, you don’t need this but Bunnies are super trendy in Korea right now, so it won’t hurt you and your group in general for sure.”

“No, I’m not interested,” Jungkook is quick to answer. He knows this must be your company’s idea, desperately trying to monetize on our innocent statement regarding your ‘crush’ on him. He will spare you with his presence. 

“Right,” his manager nods understandingly. “I actually declined the offer the first time, but the second time their group’s leader, ____, got on the phone herself, convincing me to give her a chance,” the manager shakes his head, remembering your desperate attempt. 

Jungkook freezes at the last words, not believing. And trying his best to not give away his sudden rush of excitement, he’s quick to add. “I think you are right, it won’t hurt me,” and he actually means it. Whatever is the reason behind your unexpected desire to meet with him, it surely can’t make things worse at this point. “Schedule a meeting at my practice room.”

_________

You fidget on your seat while waiting for Jungkook in the practice room at Hybe’s building. Getting here made a lot of fuss, and your managers did a lot of work to get you permission to enter the building as a guest. You were almost sorry to them adding all that stress to their already heavy workload. But you didn’t see any other way for you to apologize to Jungkook. You were determined to do that in person and this excuse of filming a video seemed handy right now. Maybe he will bring an operator or a manager, it would still give you a chance to stay alone with him for some time. 

The sound of the door being closed brings you out of your thoughts and you flinch at your seat. Jungkook was standing still at the door, reminding you of your first unfortunate encounter with him. It’s fine, you think to yourself. You will do your best to apologize to him. 

You get up from your seat, nervously standing. “Hi,” you raise your hand to wave at him. “Thank you for not turning down this meeting.”

You see him scoff, lips pressed together. He’s hesitant. “I’m just slightly intrigued. Why would you want to meet up with someone like me, again?” He quirked an eyebrow at you. 

“Jungkook, I’m very sorry,” you plead, pulling the palms of your hands together. “I shouldn’t have said such stupid things to you. If I could, I’d take that back.” 

You didn’t want to mention Harin as it still was your own choice to not only believe those rumors but also accuse Jungkook of them while meeting him for the very first time. But as you watch him fold his arms across his wide chest, you start contemplating. Maybe it was still worth mentioning…

“It doesn’t make things any better but, just so you know, I’ve heard that from a very close friend, I just couldn’t imagine that she would straight up lie to me,” you blurted hoping to see any change in him. 

But he only sneers at you, nibbling at his lower lip. “Well, maybe it was all true, then what?” 

You are startled by his question but still, make a step towards him. “I know none of that is true, I’m sorry,” you try to emphasize each of your words. 

“What if some of it was true?” Jungkook makes several steps forward, reducing the distance between you two drastically.

“What do you mean? I know it’s not,” puzzled with his determination to prove you wrong, you search for his eyes. His gaze now has darkened, doe eyes filled with blazing anticipation. 

“What if I told you that your stupid and untrustworthy friend was right about one thing?” He steps forward again, your bodies suddenly at a dangerously short distance from each other. 

You sigh feeling the overflowing warmth of his body. What was he doing now? Is this some wicked way of trying to scare you off? You try to retreat, taking a step back but you almost tumble on the sofa behind you but Jungkook quickly catches you, grabbing your forearms. 

You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, hating that it must be so obvious to him how nervous you’re. And well, almost falling on the couch (that you were very well aware of) is probably not making you look confident either. 

“Are you scared now?” He smirks, hands still on your arms even though you’re not planning to fall anymore 

“Stop asking so many questions,” you snap at him to your own surprise. “I came to apologize but now you decide to live up to my stupid accusation? This is ridiculous.” 

“Oh, look how brave you are now,” he dramatically sighs in amusement. “But I said there was one truth to your claims. Can you guess it?” He leans down to you, making it impossible for you to escape his warmth. 

“No,” you say blinking up at him, head not thinking straight anymore. “I have no idea what you’re insinuating,” you say honestly. Of course, there’s a stupid hope growing inside of you that he’s interested in you but you try to not let it get to your head. Jeon Jungkook is interested in you? It even sounds ridiculous. 

“You were right. I wanted to get to know you because I liked you,” the sharpness of his gaze cuts through the electricity filling the room. You raise your eyebrows, unable to look away from him. “Does that scare you?” His honey-laced voice is like music to your ears, how could you resist?

“No,” you are startled by the firmness in your own voice. He's taken aback by your response just as much as you are, searching for a hint of doubt in your eyes. And you know that there’s none when you feel his thumb caressing your arm; a simple gesture to which you feel your stomach tightening. 

“Really?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you know he doesn’t need an answer anymore. “Is that because now you know that it all was only for you?” He leans closer to your face, his warm breath brushing your skin making you crave more. “That I only got my eyes on you?” He looks at you one more time, a smug grin plastered on his enthralling lips. 

You nod, biting on your lower lip, having no idea where this whole situation is leading to. “Yes.” 

Jungkook’s lips finally meet the skin of your jaw, and you let out a sigh from this long-awaited closeness. His hands fall on your hips while his lips leave a trail of kisses from your jaw to your neck. You lean your head back trying to give him more space at which he chuckles satisfied. “Good girl,” his whisper hits your neck and you feel warmth flooding your body. Your hands slide around his neck, pulling him closer as you desperately need more of him. 

Jungkook doesn’t need to be asked twice and he buries his face in your neck, leaving wet kisses making you close your eyes in pleasure. 

“Jungkook, please,” you whimper, needing to finally feel him on your lips. “Kiss me,” you beg him.

Your eyes shut open when you’re hit with coldness after his lips leave your neck. But then you are met with Jungkook’s eyes, looking at you in anticipation. You can see he’s needy just like you, licking his lower lip. 

“Come here,” he rasps and you finally feel his breath hitting your lips while his fingers dig deeper into your hips. 

You never even dared to imagine what it would be like to kiss Jungkook, but when his lips meet yours you feel an unknown sensational feeling filling every inch of your body. How is he so good? You let out a quiet moan as his soft tongue pokes out, desperately entering your mouth. 

Kissing Jungkook felt natural, so perfect, you weren’t sure you could ever get enough of that. He was taking his time exploring you, attentive to every response of your body to his actions. 

You brush your hand through his silky hair, pulling him even closer to you, needing to dive deeper into the kiss. Jungkook groans into your mouth, feeling your confident touches on him. His hands start traveling up from your hips, discovering every curve of your body. You arch your back towards his touches, hands on his chest. 

Your body tenses as you feel him beckoning you to the couch behind you, still not breaking the kiss. You are both nervous and thrilled at this. Are you really doing this with Jungkook at his workplace? You must be out of your mind, for sure. But it was hard to be your usual restrained self around Jungkook. 

When he carefully places you on the sofa, you almost whimper in despair as he breaks the kiss to stand up. But then you see him teasingly smile at you as he reaches for your shorts, sliding them down your legs, every touch of his hands with your body sends shivers down your spine. You start feeling an unbearable pulsation between your legs when Jungkook, hovering above you, studies every part of your body that’s exposed to him now. His hungry gaze traveled up and down, teeth biting down on his lips. 

He reaches for the hem of your shirt, determined to get rid of it as well. But you put your hand over his, stopping him. You’re frustrated with that as much as he is, but it’s probably the last remnant of consciousness kicking in now. 

“Next time?” He arches an eyebrow at you. Is there gonna be  next time? But you just nod, questions later. 

Jungkook seems content with the deal as his hand immediately trails down, leaving his attempt to take off your shirt. Finally, he dives back to you, your lips meeting again, in a more passionate and needy kiss, mouths melting together. When Jungkook places himself between your legs, you feel the weight of his body perfectly pressed against yours. 

“I want to feel you, Jungkook,” he catches the moan escaping your lips. You frown, angry at the clothes separating you from feeling the warmth of his skin fully. But not here, next time, you remind yourself. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that, baby,” he grants you a mischievous smile. And then his hand slides down, reaching your wetness. Jungkook’s gaze fixed on you, enjoying how your eyelids flutter closed. 

You feel Jungkook’s body shudder as he dips his fingers inside of you and you squeeze your eyes shut, groaning. “So wet, and it’s all for me, baby?” 

“Yes, for you, Jungkook,” you whine as he goes back to your neck, leaving there wet kisses as he continues to slide his fingers inside you all the way in and back out a few times, taking his time with his long strokes. You hear his raspy growl as he’s getting used to how tight and soft your pussy is.

You arch your back, rolling your hips towards him, trying to meet him and get deeper and deeper. Jungkook moves his fingers up, rubbing your clit. 

“Jungkook, I can’t,” you let out a whimper, wanting more of him, spreading your legs wider for him. 

“Oh, baby, but you can, you are perfectly made for this,” his low voice makes you shiver around his fingers. Jungkook doesn’t intend to slow down, as his fingers continue to pump you in a deep and steady pace, coming out only to swirl around your clit. 

“I want to feel you, please,” you pant lustfully. Since when you were so brave?  

You don’t expect Jungkook to obey your words immediately, but this time he doesn’t make you suffer any longer. You watch as he rises up, reaching for the backpack right next to the sofa, fumbling in the pocket. He starts to grow impatient as he can’t seemingly find what he’s looking for, which also kills you. And then he finally pulls out a condom, tearing it open with his teeth. You watch him in awe, turned on by his eagerness. 

He lowers his sweatpants and you heavily sigh as he pulls out his big and hard cock. Your heart pounders against your chest as you watch him roll the condom on. Jungkook breathes hard, and you feel his body finally back on yours. He pushes aside your panties, rubbing his tip against you and you throw your head back, not sure how you’ll be able to wait any longer for him. Your pussy throbbing as he reaches for your lips again in a kiss, only to break it again a moment later, to watch your face when he places his cock between your legs. 

He slowly enters you, watching how you let out a moan. He’s thrusting his hips steadily, and you stretch around him. Jungkook sinks deeper into you, twisting his arm around your waist. You feel your nipples harden against the fabric of your bra and curse to yourself again for not taking it off earlier. 

Jungkook frowns as he buries himself deeper and deeper into you. “Fuck, ____,” he mumbles to your ears and you spread your legs wider, letting him pull out his full length and thrust back in, stretching you. 

You gasp at the feeling of his cock filling you, rolling your hips towards him each time, craving for more and more. “Jungkook, it’s so good,” you lick his neck, trailing it with kisses while your body shivers under him. 

Jungkook starts fastening his pace and you close your eyes shut, sliding your hands down his thighs, gripping his ass, and pressing him even closer to you as he thrusts harder and rougher now. 

You feel his hand behind your back, cupping your ass to nestle in his dick deeper, you hear him panting as he quickens his thrusts, and lewd noises shamelessly filling the practice room. His cock nudges you deep inside and you cry out, pussy clenching around Jungkook as you break loose. 

“Oh, God, Jungkook!” You throw your head back, pulling Jungkook into a deep, passionate kiss as he continues to fuck you faster. 

Jungkook watches how you drown in pleasure, your body trembling under him. He pushes in and out one more time and you see how he shuts his eyes, groaning in your mouth as he stops, body shuddering. He relaxes on top of you, as you trail your hands up and down his back, both of you heavy breathing. 

You lay like that for some time more, both of you adamant to let go of each other. Why would you ever want to leave his arms when it felt so right, so perfect to be cuddled with each other? 

Jungkook places small kisses on your face and you let out jolly giggles and then reality hits you. You froze, eyes glaring at him horrified. “ What if someone heard us? Fuck, I totally forgot about that!”

You pushed him from yourself, forcing him to stand up. Jungkook watches you hurriedly put on your shorts, brushing your hair while looking at the mirror, hoping to make yourself presentable again. He drawly pulls back his sweatpants. “Come on, it’s a practice room. It has some soundproof thing to it, don’t worry.”

“Gosh, Jungkook, we didn’t even bother to put on some music,” you sigh desperately, grabbing your head, thinking back to everything that happened. 

“Well, we obviously had more important things to worry about, right?” Jungkook smirks, approaching from behind, giving you a back hug, hands firmly on your waist. 

You look at both of your reflections in the mirror and almost gasp. Who would have thought that you would end up like this? 

You have no time to rack your brain on that any longer as you hear loud raps on the door. You look back at both of you, to make sure you both look decent. Well, your hair is a mess, your cheeks are blazing red, and Jungkook is not any better. 

You stare in panic at Jungkook but he just smiles, calmly opening the door and letting in the intruder. Well, at least, it seems like the door was locked, you think to yourself as your blood runs cold realizing that you didn’t even worry about shutting the door before getting on the couch with Jungkook. 

“Are you done with the dancing video?” A man enters the room and you recognize his voice. You talked with him on the phone, begging him to let you come here. 

“Yes!” You scream, surprising both Jungkook and his manager. “I believe we are done,” you say calmly, lowering your voice. 

“Are you sure you've finished?” Jungkook looks at you innocently, and you feel your cheeks burning red again. “I’m sure we can still make better takes, don’t you think so, ____ ?” 

Oh, right. The dancing video, the reason why you came here in the first place. You almost forgot about your excuse. You breathe out in relief but then met with Jungkook’s hazed eyes and a cocky grin, you realize his question isn’t so innocent after all. 

“Yeah, you’re right. We can definitely do some more takes.”

____________ 

any feedback is highly appreciated, please let me know your thoughts <;3 

[bunnylovesani]

Daddy Issues

(This is what I imagine him looking like in this fic)

Content warnings: MDNI, reader has daddy issues, 20 year age gap, Anakin is your best friend’s dad, drinking, fingering, dirty talk, general smut with a bit of fluff

WC: 2.6k

You and Leia met in your first year of college and your friendship quickly blossomed. Despite being from the same town, you’d never bumped into each other. If you had, you’re sure you would’ve remembered him. The first time you’d met him was Christmas, 4 years ago; it was your first time coming round to the Skywalker residence and all you knew was that Leia was raised by a single dad, who was now in his 40s. The moment you laid eyes on him, you were fascinated. He had dark blonde hair which curled into golden ringlets at the ends and a mysterious quality about him you were sure made the women weak at the knees- how he’d managed to stay single for most of his life was beyond you.

Despite your fervent initial attraction to him, you tried your best to put all of it aside. Besides the obvious reasons to restrain yourself, he was also the first positive male figure you’d had in your life. He was a damn good father; always present in Leia’s life and, since you two were joined at the hip, by extension yours too. You ignored every sign, every impulse, every sizzling moment of tension that came between you two- tension you naturally assumed was one sided- he’s a decent, respectable man after all.

You had it all under control- until you received a call confirming the graduate program you’d applied for months ago had been accepted. The subsequent week was spent getting daydrunk while hesitantly packing your entire life into a van full of brown boxes- or rather, directing Leia to do it for you since you were too inebriated. It all boiled down to your final night; one last night in the suburbs you’d felt suffocated by your entire life before you moved to the big city to start your shiny new life.

So why did you feel sad? You suspected you knew the reason but spent the better half of an evening denying it and battling the growing urge to pay him a visit. Eventually, when the reality that you were about to leave him forever sunk in, you found your feet taking you out the door of their own volition. Preparing to ambush him with the help of some liquid courage you’d choked down prior to leaving, you rung the doorbell of his house for what you thought may be the last time.

“Oh, hey honey. Leia just left to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house, you just missed her. I thought you’d already said your goodbyes?”. He innocently questions as he opens the door and lets you in.

“I know, it’s you I came to say goodbye to.” You say anxiously, staring at him intensely through your lashes.

“I see, I’m honoured.” He smiles and approaches you, pulling you into a hug. “Good luck with everything sweetheart, stay safe and above all- remember to have fun! Life passes you by in an instant and one day you’ll wake up as old as I am and kick yourself for not grabbing every opportunity you had.”

“Funny you say that, Sir. That’s the exact mantra I’ve adopted recently. Fuck it, right?” You help yourself to the glass of whiskey he was holding out of his hand and take a sip.

“Can I sit with you for a little while?” You plop onto his cushioned couch before he can reply.

“Erm, yeah of course, make yourself at home.” He says welcomingly, though with a perplexed expression on his slightly wrinkled face. “Are you okay?” He wonders if there’s a reason you’re acting so strange. You don’t usually drink.

“I’m great, thank you Sir.” You bat your lashes. “Just feeling sentimental with the circumstances and all.”

“How many times have I said, call me Anakin. I know I’m old but after so many years I’d say we’re on a first name basis.” He chuckles, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, keeping a respectable distance. “I know I’m nothing much to you but I really do think of you and Leia as my girls. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” He says endearingly, smiling at you kindly.

That’s when you’re reminded of the reason you came here tonight. You had every intention of telling him how you truly felt, how you’d had a raging crush on him from the moment you met him- and now that you might never see him again, you saw no reason why you shouldn’t act on those feelings.

But hearing him compare you to his daughter filled a hole you felt inside you ever since your father abandoned you- while simultaneously making you feel sick to your stomach.

You stared into his warm eyes, encased with crows feet and accompanied by two prominent creases on his forehead. You shouldn’t find a man of his age so attractive but you do.

“You know, I don’t think you’re old.” You state simply.

“What?” He asks somewhat confused by your meaning.

“You said one day I’ll wake up as old as you. I don’t think you’re old at all. If anything, you’re in your prime.” You look away. “You’re not nothing to me either.”

He looks visibly stunned, though he tries to mask it by refilling a glass of whiskey, the brown liquid almost spilling everywhere.

“Right back at you, kid. Well I’m sure you’ve got a lot of packing to do so I won’t keep you. You need a ride?” He shuffles in his seat.

“No. Not the kind of ride you’re thinking of anyway.” A wave of boldness overcomes you and you feel the alcohol burning through your veins as you shuffle closer to him.

“Uh, I think that whiskey’s gone straight to your head. Why don’t I get you some water?” He’s about to get up but you grab him by the hand and force him to stay seated, holding onto it longer than necessary.

“You know how I feel about you Anakin. I know you know.” You stare deep into his mature blue eyes as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with an apprehensive gulp.

“Now that’s enough young lady. You absolutely should not be thinking about me in that way. I’m almost twice your age.” He sternly warns you and you can’t help but wince. The way he’s scolding you is triggering some deep rooted daddy issues. You knew you always had them to some extent but you never knew just how bad they were until you met Anakin.

“I dont mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ll leave right now if you want me to, you’ll never see me again. Just tell me you don’t feel anything towards me and I’ll be on my way.” You’re huddled over him with your legs on the sofa, hand slowly inching its way towards his thigh.

A flash of conflicting emotions run through his eyes- he’s obviously embarrassed, perhaps shocked - though you find it hard to believe he had no clue at all- but there’s something else. He’s debating with himself, you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.

“I can’t say that.” He meets your gaze. “I care about you a lot, you know that. Which is why you need to leave. You’re not in the right state of mind.” He gets up again but you pull him down and climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I have been in love with you for 4 years, Anakin. You are my every waking thought. I know it’s wrong and you’d never be with me but I can’t control myself. If I can’t have you forever, let me have just this one night- please.” You wait for him to object to the way you’re sitting on him but to your surprise, he doesn’t.

“Alright, honey.” He grumbles softly after a little while, looking at you with a subdued expression that conveyed both concern and understanding. “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll give you what you want. I’m yours for the night.”

You sit there, stunned. You were fully expecting him to kick you out of the house and tell Leia everything. You were expecting anything other than him giving in. Is he just taking pity on you and thinks this will help you get over your daddy issues? He knows you have them. Or is he as sick and twisted as you are?

“Can…can I…” You lean in, pressing your fingertips against his lips.

“Leave it all to me sweetheart. Daddy will make it all better.” He wastes no time taking your hands into his own and kissing your fingertips softly, before pressing his lips against yours.

You’re too stunned to react so you allow him to kiss your motionless lips, your eyes still wide open in disbelief. You’d never been so grateful to someone for taking the lead.

“Close those pretty eyes for me baby, you’re safe now.” He kisses your eyelids softly and his gentle caresses awaken a deep urge within you.

You grab at his collared shirt, loosening his tie and unbuttoning it. “Been working more late nights at the office?” You mumble into his lips as you push the crisp white shirt off his shoulders, leaving his muscles exposed.

“That’s because I have two women in my life who bleed me dry.” He chuckles and you smile at the memory; he’s shelled out for you on more than one occasion- from plane tickets and birthday gifts to a new MacBook for college because your one broke and you couldn’t afford another since you’d been fired from your waitressing job- he even agreed that that guy deserved to get a drink thrown in his face for grabbing you. He said that if he were there, he would’ve done worse.

Before you freefall into a psychoanalytical hole, Anakin rips your skirt off - it’s as if he can hear your mind working overtime. You gasp a little as he kneads the fat of your ass cheeks roughly, guiding you until you’re grinding against him. You can feel him getting hard, and oh did it feel big. You’d stolen subtle glances at his crotch on numerous occasions, contemplating what it might look like, what colour the tip might be, what it might taste like. You couldn’t bare to be left in the dark any longer so you reached for his belt and impatiently started undoing it- but you were stopped by his large hands cupping yours.

“Not just yet princess. I wanna take my time with you.” He whispered coarsely and the feeling of his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine. Before you knew it, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on his lap with your back facing his front. He traced his tongue in big open kisses along your neck while his hands trailed up and down your thighs, before he hooked his fingers around your panties.

“Lets get these off shall we?” He purred and his words sent sparks straight down to your core. He lowered your underwear only down to your knees, before spreading your legs a little, his hand placed under one of your thighs to keep it up. You felt the cold air hit you and knew instantly that you were soaked.

You breathing was reduced to short little pants as his fingers reached the inner folds of your pussy, and it felt like every caress touched your soul. You started squirming about in his lap as two of his fingers slid into you.

“Goddamn… oh baby, I didnt even mean for that to happen but you’re just so wet they slipped right in.” You mewled at his lustful words as he curled his fingers inside you, rubbing your clit with the base of his thumb.

“Oh Ani…ah fuck!.” You cried. “Anakin!”

“Yes sweetheart, what is it?” Gaining speed, he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand and turned your head to force you to look at him but you were too stimulated to respond.

“Do you hear how wet you are? And here I thought you were a good girl.” He maintains eye contact and your cheeks flush at the lewd sounds coming from your core. You take a glance and see his hand is glistening with your arousal, wetness squelching as it pours down to the Rolex on his wrist.

“Aah…I, I’m sorry daddy! Mm can’t help it” You manage to squeal out, embarassed by how wet and helpless he made you.

“Don’t you dare apologise sweetheart. Daddy loves how wet this pussy gets. Is this all for me?”

“Yes, yes Sir it’s all for you- mm all yours!” You moan as you feel your climax fast approaching. “Please can I cum? Pleasee daddy!”

“Yes princess, cum for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you at such a tempo you have to hold onto his arms for stability.

As if someone opened a dam, your orgasm washes over you and you let out a stupified scream- you wanted to say his name but your brain is so scrambled all you can manage is a mumbled moan of incoherent syllables.

“Such a good girl baby, well done honey.” He plants kisses all over your cheek and neck as your heart rate climbs down.

As you come down from your high, the realisation of what you’re doing dawns on you. As if he could read your mind, he takes your face into his hands.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? If you think you’ll regret it, tell me now. I don’t think I could handle it if we made love and you woke up regretting it.” He speaks softly, as if being too harsh might scare you away.

“No, no it’s not you.” You quickly respond. “I just feel a little cheap. I don’t ever have one night stands so I’m kinda out of my depth here… and the guilty thoughts about Leia creeping up on me don’t help either.”

“Hey, you’re not cheap.” You scoff at his attempt to reassure you. “Stop that, I mean it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you regardless of the outcome of this. But…I mean I’m out of my depth here too. If we’re being honest, I haven’t had sex in years.” Anakin admits and your jaw drops. How could a man this damn fine not get laid for that long?

“It’s a personal choice.” He corrects before you jump to any conclusions about what might be wrong with him. “I don’t like one night stands either and if I’m not in love, I have no real interest in sex.” Your heart leaps at the insinuation- if he’s willing to sleep with you, that must mean…right?

“So let’s not have a one night stand then.” He continues and your heart drops. I guess you thought wrong.

“Let’s keep seeing each other. I ache all over at the thought of this being the last time I see you. I need you in my life. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I don’t care what people say. Leia will come round to the idea eventually, she has to.”

“I love you.” You reply a little too quickly, staring at him with so much admiration you think your heart might burst.

“I love you too, my sweet girl.”

Part 2

[fangisms]

lady may

A/N: something ab writing for an angry hufflepuff really saved my soul. she is SO valid. maybe i’m her. (also this song eats away at my brain, so i had to write ab it… naturally) gif creds: @frodo-sam

Pairings: Cedric Diggory x Fem!Grumpy!Hufflepuff!Reader

Summary: Well, he’s not the toughest hickory that your axe has ever felled // But he’s a hickory just as well 1.5k words

Warnings: fluff, cursing, two idiots very much in love, pining, angry hufflepuff, dumb/embarassed reader (lovingly), golden retriever cedric, quidditch injury mention

How could you look so beautiful drenched by the pouring rain, hovering ten meters in the air, goggles suctioned to your face, barking orders at the rest of the team like a drill sergeant? It’d always make him wonder. And midgame, that’s a silly thing to do. Which is exactly why he’s doing it.

You’re the angriest girl Cedric’s ever met. World class beater and a great captain, but you’ve got serious anger issues. The guys have started calling you boxer because you’re always on the verge of a scrap. Cedric has seen you chew out almost every position on the team. Except him. You’ve never yelled at him, you barely even look in his direction on a good day. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, he wants you to yell at him.

Well, not entirely inexplicable. Now would be the best time to mention he’s got a huge crush on you. In fact, he’s had a crush on you since you became team captain. You’ve always been pretty, but something about the title and the power really commanded his attention.

Which is precisely why he needs you to yell at him. He craves it. He’s been waiting all year for you to tell him he’s an idiot and that he’s doing everything wrong. But you won’t. And desperate times call for very desperate measures.

He’s barely dodging bludgers, not even trying for the snitch, doing party tricks in front of the stands, anything for you to glance his way. And then he goes and gets knocked off his broom. Luckily, he wasn’t too high in the air and he wasn’t flying too fast. The worst that happened was he got the wind knocked out of him. The best? You marching toward him like a sicced dog.

You kneel at his side, goggles loose around your neck as you coo, “are you okay?”

What? No, this is all wrong, you’re supposed to call him stupid, say that next time he’s off the team. Not ask if he’s okay.

Cedric nods and you help him sit up, signalling to the stadium that he’s alright. A cheer rips through the crowd.

“Can you play?” you huff, patting his back softly. He’s got butterflies.

“Yeah,” he says. When you get him on his feet, he almost wishes you won’t let go. And he suddenly remembers you’re much prettier up close, and his heart nearly gives out.

“Good sport, Diggory,” you tease, hopping back on your broom, “Back to work!”

It’d take a brain injury to get your attention.

The game goes off without a hitch: Cedric goes back to actually trying for the snitch and wins Hufflepuff the game. He’s a little disappointed he hsan’t given you anything else to be upset about. So once the celebration is over, he catches you outside of the locker rooms.

“Why didn’t you get mad at me?” Cedric asks, jogging to catch you as you head back towards the dorms. You don’t respond, but he’s sure you heard him. So he nudges your shoulder. “Come on, boxer, I’ve seen you angry, I’m prepared.”

You stop dead in your tracks, and he slows to a stop just behind you. Then you turn to face him, and he’s never seen your glare so intense.

“Listen, Diggory, you’re smart, you’ve got talent, and I trust you to perform well on this team. So I can’t for the life of me understand why you go out on that field just to dick around.”

You’re serious. Not angry, just serious. You’ve got this calm and collected tone that drives him absolutely up-the-wall insane. But he wants you to yell.

“You have plenty of adoring fans tracking your every move, you don’t have to pull dumb shit to get people to like you. You could’ve gotten yourself hurt or killed, understand? So I advise you put your team and your safety before your reputation,” you say, storming off with your bag slung over your shoulder.

And it gets him kind of worked up because obviously, he wouldn’t have done any of it if it weren’t for you. You and your stupidly selective anger issues. And your stupid smile.

“Hold on,” he hollers, still half drunk on the idea of being subject to your rage, “you think I don’t put this team at the top of all of my lists? Clearly, I love this stupid sport or I wouldn’t put so much damn time and effort into it!”

“If you love this sport, act like it.” Your jaw ticks before you march through the doorway, leaving him flustered in the mist of the courtyard.

…

He’s giving it one last go. If you won’t get angry with him, maybe he ought to just confess his feelings outright. This feels like the most rational he’s ever been. He even combed his hair extra carefully in hopes of you noticing.

Your friends quiet down when he approaches you in the mess hall, small flower pinched between his fingers, grin plastered across his face. You look a little annoyed but he’s pretty sure it’s just shock. And suddenly it feels like grade school when they all burst into giggles.

“This is for you—”

“Diggory.”

He cocks a brow. “Yeah?”

You grab the sleeve of his robes and drag him out into the hall, near slamming him into the stone wall. So much for his combed hair.

“What was that back there?” you hiss, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Well. I brought you a flower. It’s from the field—”

“I can see that!”—you’re frenzied searhcing for any possible explanation other than he has a head injury from falling—“Explain to me why.”

He looks confused and presents the flower again.“Isn’t it obvious?”

You look down at the flower. It’s small and white and looks so delicate in his hand. And you look at him. You suppose his pupils are a little extra dilated. “Are you poisoned? Or drunk?”

“No!”

You finally let go of him to gesture wildly. “Then what, Cedric—Merlin’s beard—What???”

“I brought you a flower,” he coos, tilting his head. You press two fingers to the bridge of your nose.

“Yeah, I got that part—”

“Hold on—hasn’t anyone ever given you something nice because… they like you?” Cedric hums, shuffling closer to you. Your eyes are glued to the tiny flower, but you won’t take it. Then you glare up at him.

“Is this a joke? Did the twins put you up to it?”

“No, just take the flower! I like you!” He sounds dastardly jovial, taking your wrist in one hand and presisng the flower to your palm with the other.

“What?” you scoff. Still staring down at the flower, making him wish his face was made of them so you’d look at him like that.

“Yeah,” he sighs.

And then you look at him. In the eyes. Perplexed, brows knitted, but you’re looking right at him and he could faint. Maybe it is a head injury.

“But I’m not… I’m not like…”

“Like what?” he asks.

“Well, it’s just—I’m confused because… you like pretty girls, and I’m not… that’s not what I do—am. What I am.”

“You’ve got to be joking,” he huffs.

“Cho is pretty,” you state.

“You’re pretty.”

“No, Cedric, I play quidditch. If I was pretty, I’d have a boyfriend,” you reason, shrugging your shoulders and giving him a real run for his money.

“And those things are connected… how?”

You scoff and relax a little when he puts his hands on his hips. So what if he’s incredibly handsome. So what if your friends want to see you together. So what if he’s the one person you don’t want to rip to shreds. It’s not like any of that matters. Right?

“It makes sense!” you say.

“No, it doesn’t. Can I be your boyfriend?”

“Diggory, don’t—”

“Is that a no?”

“Well, no! But you’re being rash! You’ll change your mind, and you’ll want your flower back!”

He shakes his head. “No. I gave you a flower because I think you’re very wonderful and very beautiful and I want to be your boyfriend.”

“But…”—he’s very amused by the fact that he’s made you flustered—“I sweat a lot!”

“So do I,” he chuckles, “we do play quidditch together, I hope you know.”

“Okay, okay, fine. We… argue!” you chirp.

“And you’re almost always right! Problem solved,” he says, “Now, would you be my girlfriend or do I have to get down on my knees?”

“No! I mean, yes! No, no, no knees, just… yes. I will be your girlfriend.”

Cedric smirks, taking the flower from your still open palm and tucking it behind your ear. Yesterday, he could barely say hello to you, and now he’s pulling you closer and tilting your chin up. His heart flutters when you palm his waist, and you smile when he leans a little closer.

“Are you going to kiss me?” you hum. He chuckles.

“Only if you’d like.”

You roll your eyes and smile. “Naturally.”

masterlist

[pitchsidestories]

hate that I love you II Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1759

a/n: we hope you enjoy reading the oneshot, we'd love to hear your thoughts on it. <3

warnings: slight smut in the middle, a bit of angst, but with a happy ending.🖤

“Ana!”, Keira shouted the name of your former Barca teammate, after the English midfielder has spotted the Swiss woman in the crowd.

The Champions league final was over, your team has won the title a second time in a row. But the celebratory mood you were in just a few seconds ago was gone at the sight of your ex-girlfriend. It made your blood turn cold.

“Ale, what the hell is Ana doing here? Who even invited her?”, you asked your captain furiously.

In an instant, she noticed your change of mood, that was why the midfielder replied cautiously:” I think some of the girls did or she just came to visit.”

“Oh, wow.”, you huffed, trying to get as far away from your former lover as possible. Seems like you weren’t that lucky this evening in Bilbao, she already had set her eyes on you, calling your name.

“Hi, y/n.”

“Ana. Sorry, but I got to go.”, you lied, while walking into the direction to the changing rooms.

“Where’s she going?”, Ana questioned as she was slowly following you..

“Isn’t that obvious? You broke up with her.”, Alexia reminded the taller woman.

“She still didn’t have to run away.”, the Swiss player mumbled, the hurt was written all over her face.

Meanwhile Keira who has been quiet after hugging her enthusiastically, joined their conversation with a low voice:” No but you ran away first, remember?”

“I didn’t. It was better that way.”, Ana corrected the English woman, before she headed into the changing room where you were standing all by yourself. The party was heading somewhere else already.

You heard her last words loud and clear: ”No, it wasn’t, you’ve chosen the cowardly way after almost four years of being together. You acted like that time meant nothing to you.”

Finally, you got the chance to tell her how devasted you were about her sudden move to Madrid.

“That’s not true. It wouldn’t have worked out long distance and you know that.”, the Swiss player disagreed.

“No, I don’t know that actually, because we never tried it!”, you protested.

“Yeah, sure. You were pouting because I left the team.”, Ana rolled her eyes annoyed at you.

Her behaviour only fed the anger you felt inside.

“Yes, because you told me those transfer news a day before you left for the capitol.”

“Because I knew you’d be pouting.”, she shot back, almost stumbling over the empty champagne bottles which were left on the ground.  

This moment felt almost like a symbol of your failed relationship as it started golden, perfect even, with your first ever champions league win during the covid period, and the following wins, which abruptly ended in shattered hopes and dreams.

You tore your gaze away from the champagne bottles and looked straight at Ana.

“Oh.“, you said, your jaw set. “Sorry that you meant something to me. What a fool I was. Hope you’re happy now.“

Anas face changed from a slight moment to confusion to immediate annoyance: “Oh my god, you can be so damn dramatic!“

“Why are you even here? You ruined a perfect final with your presence.“, you spat back.

Anas eyes sparkled with furiousness: “Oh I’m sorry. Sorry that my friends are still here and that this team still means something to me!“

You were taking aback by how loud her voice had gotten but you kept glaring at her: “Fine. Go and celebrate with them. But leave me alone!“

All of a sudden, you felt Anas weight on you as she pinned you against the wall of the changing room. You had to suppress a surprised shriek.

Ana tilted her head, her lips curved in the smallest hint of a smirk: “Or what?“

“Get your hands off of me!“, you said through gritted teeth.

“Make me.“, your ex-girlfriend challenged you.

In a heartbeat you leaned forward, pressing your lips onto Anas. Just when she started to return the kiss, you bit down hard on her lower lip.

She pulled back: “Hey!“

“Can I go now?“, you asked impatiently.

“No.“

You locked eyes with her again. Your voice was pure ice when you replied. “I hate you so much…“

Anas hand found its way into your ponytail, pulling on it roughly.

You hissed.

“Say that again.“, Ana ordered.

“What? I hate that I still love you…“

Anas grip on your hair loosened. “I know you do.“

“What about you?“, you asked. You hated that your voice still sounded so hopeful when you only wanted to despise the woman in front of you.

Your ex ignored your question deliberately. “You need to shut up now.“

“Go on.“

“I’ll.“

And suddenly, her lips were on yours again. Her body pressed so hard against your own that you could feel her heat on your skin. You kissed back with hunger while Ana shoved her thigh between your legs. Biting back a moan, you began to move against her.

Anas hands, in the meantime, had slipped under your jersey, exploring your skin with the lightest touch.

You knew you should not but you could not stop yourself. It was as if your body had taken control, taking what it had craved for so long.

Ana was in the motion of finally pulling your jersey over your head and your body tingled with excitement, when the door to the changing room was opened.

“Girls, we’re going to party!“, Keiras voice announced, before stopping herself. “Oh, seems like you already started.“

“Come back later.”, the Swiss woman told the midfielder in a casual tone as if the redhead couldn’t see the messy state, you two were in.

“See you girls.”, she muttered and closed the door again much to your own relief.

“Oh my god, that was embarrassing.”, you mumbled against the older player’s chest.

“Whatever. As if she cares.”, Ana shrugged.

“Right, Laura will distract her from what she just saw.”, you smirked while you thought about the happy couple.

“I’m sure.”, the blonde nodded.

“Thank god.”, you sighed, forever gratefully for the Austrian footballer.

“She came in at the worst time though. I was just getting into it.”, the older woman whispered into your ear, although you couldn’t see her face you could hear from her voice that she was smiling.

“Need a reminder where we stopped?”, you looked up to her, eyes sparkling.

“No. Come here.”, Ana shook her head, before continuing what she started, her touches even hungrier than before.

In between you put your hand on her body middle to stop her, asking the one question which was burning hot on your tongue:” Did you miss me in Madrid?”

“Of course. Every day.”, the Swiss player answered truthfully.

 “When why didn’t you say everything? You were multiple times in Barcelona.”, you pressed on.

“You know why.”, she responded quietly, while tucking in a loose string of the hair behind your ear.

“Because it would have made it worse.”, you replied.

“But it was worth to wait.”, Ana said winking, alluding to the fun you had only minutes earlier.

“You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”, you laughed at her playful mood.

“Maybe I’m.”, she admitted seriously.

“To be fair so am I.”, you confessed, remembering how the blonde was till able to make your legs go weak.

“Looks like we both are.”, the Swiss woman smiled sadly. There was a melancholy air surrounding your ex-lover and you which couldn’t be waved off.

“Yes, seems like it.”, you agreed.

“So.. want to continue making out or..?”, Ana quickly distracted you from the thoughts which tinted everything sepia coloured like it was a moment from the past, but actually everything what happened was in the present.

“No, let’s stop talking and continue kissing.”, you decided, while turning your words into actions. She gladly obliged to your decision.

In the morning you awoke to Alexia’s cheerful voice, of course your captain was already up:” Y/n, wake up, we got to go!”

Your heart sank when you turned your head to Ana whose eyes were still closed, her arms wrapped around you:” Ana? I’ve to leave.”

“Okay, Barca needs you, I understand that.”, she responded, although the older woman hasn’t let you go yet.

The light of the sun fell through the curtain and gave everything it touched a warm glow including her.

“You can sleep a little longer.”, you offered her heavy-hearted.

“No.“, Ana said. Her voice was still a little hoarse from the sleep but she sounded determined.

“No?“, you echoed.

Ana pulled you closer, whispering into your ear: “I’ll think that I only dreamed this.“

“But it was real.“, you replied, studying her face thoroughly.

With a sigh, she finally let go of you. “Visit me in Madrid.“

A slight smile tugged on your lips as you crawled out of bed: “I’ll. See you there.“

Ana watched you while you got dressed: “Hopefully soon.“

“Promise.“, you said before you grabbed your bag and were out the door.

You could feel her gaze linger on your back as you left.

Alexia was already waiting for you. You were unable to interpret the look on her face but she was eyeing you cautiously as though she was searching for a hint.

When you approached her, she only let out a breath: “You girls.“

You rolled your eyes: “Don’t say anything, Alexia.“

Your captain remained unimpressed by that. Instead, she shrugged with a smirk: “I have to.“

“Fine but quick.“, you gave in. All you wanted to do was go home to Barcelona and sort your thoughts.

Alexias smile grew wider: “You’re the same kind of idiots.“

“Rude.“, you said, more amused than offended.

“It’s true.“

“Maybe a bit… She asked me to visit her in Madrid.“, you admitted quietly.

Your teammate nodded slowly, seemingly unsurprised: “She means it. You two miss each other.“

“I hate that I love her…“

“You can hate it all you want but you need her.“, Alexia replied calmly.

“You’re right.“

You had to finally admit it, your captain knew you better than anyone else on the team. Maybe she was right. Maybe all the hatred and pain you had felt had been unnecessary. Maybe there was an easy solution to this ache you felt in your chest.

That was how you found yourself in Madrid on your next free day. Your heart thumped against your chest as you waited on Anas door step.

Finally, the door opened and her face appeared in the gap.

“Hi.“, you said softly.

A smile of pleasant surprise appeared on Anas lips. “Hi. Come in.“

[ne-videl]

𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽'𝓼 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶

♡

yandere Rezef Hill x immortal fem reader

quirks of eternal life and the obsessed prince.

yandere, sfw, mentions of violence, kidnapping & imprisonment, angst??, you are immortal and reaaly bored, poor english, possibly wild image of high society bc real history suck

word count: ~3.5k

a/n: hii!!

exams be killing me

glad its over until the next year but I still have a shit ton of books to read at summer bc I'm in literature class (Tolstoy I hope ur spinning in your grave I don't want to read 3rd and 4th tome of war and peace but I have to)

anyway for this fic I re-read first chapters and?? Rezef is such a dick in the beginning?? and I forgot abt it??

also when I think about someone immortal this type of person just comes to mind (I mean ofc u don't give a damn about some angry man, you literally have been through everything) and don't worry about Cayena she's chilling in a nice place

indeed, lady [name], you are shining brighter than usual today. you've only recently returned to the capital, haven't you?" – at that warm evening, a pretty young girl was chirping in your ear, sitting with you on a luxurious sofa in the ballroom.

you listened with half an ear to a mixture of flattery and sincere admiration, looking into nowhere from under your eyelashes.

the ball was playing its climax, and the guests were harmoniously spinning in a german waltz. others, more noble and older, entertained themselves with idle conversations.

you too, thanks to your position, were little constrained by the limits of secular norms, and did not bother dancing. tonight you wanted anything other than to gallop around the stuffy hall. your eyes, devoid of the childish brilliance peculiar to your peers, looked indifferently at the guests.

the ball in honor of the beginning of summer was a great event, even the royal family usually participated in it; such celebrations instilled in their noble participants a sense of reverence for the higher-ranking present and idle anticipation of the upcoming entertainment.

but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't see anything more from the height of your velvet sofa than pretentiously dressed men and women; strangely moving, stiffly dancing and talking vague figures under the sickening light of numerous chandeliers. all this in the stuffy luxury of the hall seemed to you so fake, pretentious and unnatural that you could barely restrain yourself from haughty laughter, or from a bored sigh.

[name], beautiful [name]! daughter of the richest man in the empire, a brilliant socialite, trendsetter and muse of famous poets.

you vaguely remembered what was inside some rubbish that you read about a hundred years ago, you don't know when and you don't know where.

and although in your case, "a hundred years" might not be just a phrase, you couldn't care less. whether this the fifth life or the hundredth – what's the difference? right, there's none – you thought lazily, openly staring at the crown prince exchanging pleasantries with representatives of the capital's bohemians.

like you, who on the last night of spring were dressed up like a Christmas tree, his highness shone with the white brocade of his suit today. eyes with the color of ceylon sapphire peeked out from under his golden bangs, giving everyone present the condescending look of the royalty. little prince – as you laughingly called him to yourself – was handsome to the point that young girls blushed deeply as soon as they saw him, and married ladies sighed dreamily.

at the sight of the handsome prince, some memory cracked in your skull, however, it died as quickly as it appeared. this and a thousand other memories were simply not worth your attention, and, of course, you never scolded yourself for the forgetfulness inherent in your age. you were above it all.

Rezef easily distinguished among the crowd a lady dressed in thick silk with bare shoulders. on your neck, which he did not hesitate to stare at, there was a pair of pearl necklace with a large emerald. when you met his gaze, you smiled falsely and slightly bowed your head.

middle-aged count, whose name he could not remember, looked at the woman in the corner of the hall, and scratched his gray beard with a smile.

"gorgeous, isn't she?" – an old dog next to him grinned vulgarly – "the beauty of the empire, they say."

"what a wonder." – Rezef did not take his strangely enchanted gaze off you, and the words escaped from his lips with a gasp – "it's not a pity to fall in love with such a creature." – he said maliciously, as if he concluded for himself.

the crown prince walked towards you, ignoring the knowing look of the nameless old man beside him.

he walked confidently, with a deceptively friendly smile, and would have been incredibly ridiculous to you if he hadn't been so handsome.

"good night to you, lady [name]." – Rezef smiled warmly, and held out his hand in a snow-white glove to you, – "may I keep you company?"

he kissed your palm, and without waiting for consent, sat down next to you.

you talked about various nonsense; Rezef did not take his shining eyes off you and listened, and you chatted in a dry tone about the opera, exhibitions and the weather in the capital, hardly forcing yourself to remember the topics that the ladies had already retold a hundred times.

but the guests were invited to the cotillion, and you left the little prince as easily as you accepted him into your shining company.

with the last round of the dance, everything that was happening completely mixed up in your head into a bright, stuffy mess, accompanied by the imperial orchestra and the clatter of shoes on the lacquered parquet.

and in the end, caught by the prince's arm, you were only a little confused, but you didn't show it.

"why won't you stay the night at the palace?" – Rezef said, whose broad chest rose and fell rapidly after dancing, just like your own.

you raised your eyebrows, looking at him from under your eyelashes, and fell into thought, accompanied by the prince to one of the front balconies.

normally, you wouldn't mind spending the night with such a handsome man, but today you didn't want carnal pleasures at all. and of course, you could afford to just turn down the prince like that; just because you're not in the mood, just because you don't want to.

"thank you for the offer, your highness, however, I will refrain." – you said.

for a second, when his eye twitched, you saw something unpleasantly bitter in Rezef's soft features, a mixture of disappointment with something else. but you didn't care to the depths of your callous heart; today you're not in the mood, today you're not having any fun at all.

and what was the point of that endless journey that you called life if you weren't having fun?

Rezef fell silent, maintaining his sugary smile and standing next to you, and you leaned on the marble railing, looking up at the sky.

the pale disk of the moon is floating high on the horizon. there was music coming from the ballroom, the rustle of dresses and the clatter of shoes, irritating your ears; the little prince had been gathering his thoughts for a couple of minutes to speak; and you rested your chin on your silk-gloved hand.

"tell me, lady [name]." – your bored gaze returned to the Crown Prince, – "this night, the moon and the stars, and me, doesn't that remind you of anything?"

you raised your eyebrow. even if you tried, you wouldn't be able to remember; over the years, memories inevitably dimmed and got lost.

Rezef looked at you expectantly, with almost childish anticipation. a sick gleam flashed in his eyes.

the longer your silence dragged on, the more you disliked his face, his eyes; the childish interest in his handsome features contrasted unpleasantly with the look of a madman. as if you won't say what he wants to hear now, the earth itself will crack and split in half.

"I'm afraid not, your highness. nothing at all." – you said, lightly shaking your shoulders.

the little prince didn't say anything else. his lips trembled, and he stared into the distance, clearly terribly disappointed.

the last night of spring burned out in your cold eyes, and you sighed indifferently.

♡

Rezef remembered his childhood well. in a world where everyone hated him, for some reason, there were no pretty princesses or kind older sisters. nobody. at all.

there was only a lady dressed in silk and the moon.

you came to him in dreams; whether out of boredom or out of simple human pity, he didn't know. you came because you could and wanted to; because you said you loved doing what you wanted.

it was just the two of you in this dream world. you told him all the life you could remember; and you had a long one, longer than the biggest cat's tail.

the boy lay on your lap and listened, and sometimes cried.

in this world its eat or be eaten, but you definitely won't eat him.

"they all say that I have no place in this world. that I'd better disappear." – little prince was clutching the silk of your dress tightly in his hands and squinting. – "I hate them."

"all of them?" – you answered with a relaxed, lazy smile, running your hand through the boy's golden hair.

"you and I have a lot in common. that's the way life is, child. when you grow up, you definitely start hating someone." – you were grinning. – "and you cry and feel sad a lot."

"when I become emperor, I will definitely make you the happiest in the whole world! so that you will never cry again." – the boy squeezed your hands tightly in his palms and smiled radiantly. he hesitated slightly, and looked at you from under his golden eyelashes. "but you didn't tell me your name."

"[name]." – you breathed out laughingly.

"aren't you a fairy by any chance?" – little prince tilted his head to the side, looking at you with a radiant gaze of his blue eyes.

"perhaps." – you giggled.

prince laughed loudly. a fake moon was hanging over you two, and fake stars were shining; everything in the dream world is fake – you told him.

but he liked these strange dreams. and wanted them to become real; to have a real moon, real stars, and only him and you.

♡

every time already grown-up Rezef met the woman from his dreams, he felt his heart beating faster.

human heart, such a fragile and pathetic little thing. how many of these hearts have you got your hands on?

he would gladly have torn out each one with his own hands.

the love for you, which has passed through the years, was like bitter liquor sliding down his throat. after it, the stomach turns out, but it intoxicates so much that he can't hold himself from taking another sip.

there is no light in him to give you. all he has is the suffocating darkness of his mind, cultivated by the mores of the palace, the thirst for power and cruelty. but just as no one else besides yourself mattered to you, Rezef didn't give a damn about the nature of his feelings.

poor, pathetic little prince. no one told him that this is not the way he should love someone. like a child who has not been taught to walk, and now it's crawling.

he's still holding back, but if necessary, Rezef will gladly drag you with him into the depths of hell.

but it hurts so much. every time he sees you laughing with someone else, smiling at someone else, he wants to cry.

it should be me! – his heart screams – it should be me! – his wounded soul cries while the prince stands over the corpse of one of your suitors, whom Rezef himself turned into a bloody mess. you should have held his hand. should have been smiling at him.

when someone's neck crunched under his hands again, he thought about you. would you praise him if Rezef brought you this man's head? for your smile, he would give his own heart, still fresh, in warm blood, right out of the gaping hole in his chest.

if you knew, you'd laugh.

because you are eternal, and he is just a human being. Inevitably, there will come a day when you will live, but Rezef will not. one day he will die, will end, and you will laugh coldly and continue your endless journey.

no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, you will always have an escape route. you can leave him.

unfair.

Rezef was even a little mad at you for that. he loved you so much; if you had only fluttered your eyelashes once and smiled – even falsely – he would have laid the whole world at your feet!

but you're breaking him. you don't care. you're only interested as long as you're having fun.

oh, how he despised that feeling, and despised you. how much he wanted to kill all the butterflies in his stomach, tear out every shiny wing; wanted to never see your mocking smile and indifferent eyes again, one fleeting glance of which easily made Rezef forget about al struggles for the throne.

he loved you as he had never loved anyone before; and hated because he didn't want to love, because he knew that you won't ever reciprocate.

♡

he and you could't be called friends, however, in the capital's high society, almost all of its representatives were friends and enemies at the same time. in any case, it was not shameful for the crown prince to visit the daughter of the richest man in the empire for dinner.

tall pine trees lined up in orderly rows along the hectares of the estate's garden, shining with luxury no worse than the imperial palace. they bowed their gloomy heads and silently greeted the carriage that evening under the hot july sun that had not yet set.

after dinner was served and eaten, you ordered one of your maids to serve tea in the garden.

"undoubtedly, what happened to the count's daughter is a disgrace to the whole family, however, I cannot help but sympathize with her." – you talked a lot again and at the same time didn't actually say anything.

the only good thing about such conversations about nothing was the opportunity to listen to your measured, eternally bored voice, and just look at you like at a painting in a museum.

the upper world was completely fake and unnatural, and you gladly accepted this fake as a living embodiment of it. and Rezef was willing to play along, because he was the prince, because it was necessary to. and so your conversation drifted from topic to topic, from one rumor to another. the warm wind made him close his sapphire eyes.

"I've seen you in my dreams, marchioness. when I was little." – the crown prince lazily tilted his head to the side, – "I know you, yet you don't remember me. isn't that unfair?" – he said with mock, with sarcastic sadness.

"is it?" – you took a sip of flower tea from a porcelain cup – "well, life is full of injustices, your highness."

a small cabbage butterfly landed right on your finger, moving its thin paws under the cold gaze of your eyes.

"lady, do you like butterflies?" – the prince smiled warmly – "there are a lot of them in your garden."

"only poisonous ones, perhaps." – you replied, and with a smile reflecting his own, squeezed the butterfly in your hand. – "they bring death, yet die themselves if I squeeze my hand just like that. how curious."

"and what about you?" – Rezef, as if enchanted, watched the transparent wings fall on the countertop – "can't you die?"

"I can't be killed in a way that matters." – you answered with a grin, as if you were repeating these words for the thousandth time.

prince pursed his lips in a forced smile. in the end, nothing has changed; he is still just a man at the walls of the eternal city. you won't listen, won't understand, and won't love.

because eternity is beautiful by itself, eternity does not need anyone else.

Rezef likes to think he's doing the right thing.

It's your fault. you could not smile at him so beautifully, not illuminate his darkness with your cold light, not make him feel this.

he didn't want to expose the ugliness of his soul, didn't want to go that far. it's all because of you. you don't even know what an insane cocktail of love and hatred you're making him feel.

and you also don't know that your tea is poisoned.

♡

"do you like your new quarters?" – Rezef almost purred, – "I was trying to guess your preferences, but if something doesn't suit you, be sure to tell me."

huh?

"you won't feel a need for anything," – little prince smiled radiantly, – "prepare to enjoy family life. just have fun and obey me, and I will make you the happiest in the whole world."

what?

Rezef was sitting, busily folding his beautiful hands, and enjoying for the first time the confused, trembling look in your eyes.

a giant bedroom, a four-poster bed, silk sheets on which you were sitting, a translucent nightgown that barely hides anything, and a scarlet ribbon around your neck.

while you were looking around uncomprehendingly, the prince sat down on the bed next to you and smiled sickly.

you saw that abomination again in the bright blue; the look of a pure madman, love which became an illness, mixed with almost animal hatred. a ribbon around your neck.

did he just put you on a leash, like you were some lap dog? that pup, who cried on your lap? you, a being older than his entire palace? you, for whom biting off someone's head is like having breakfast?

you haven't been humiliated like this in the last half-millennium.

"child." – you said slowly and quietly, and in your dry voice there was no trace of the cheeky, fake politeness peculiar to this aristocratic disguise of yours – "I'll pull your guts out through your mouth." – your lips trembled in sheer rage.

Rezef stroked your head and sighed.

"you came into my life so easily. it didn't mean anything to you, did it?" – the corner of his eye twitched, and he laughed bitterly, – "don't think I'll let you go now. never."

hit landed right on the bridge of his nose. you turned out to be much stronger than he expected, and your face was distorted with rage like he had never seen before. Rezef felt his nose bleed.

was the devil himself looking at him through your eyes now? – he thought with a strange calmness.

you hit a couple more times, and, shaking the blood off your knuckles, tore the ribbon from your neck.

how dare he? all of them are just actors in your endless play. if you're not having fun, then none of this makes sense. if you're not having fun, then what are you living for?

you were breathing fast, and were silent. it was as if for eternity you two just looked at each other; you – with fury, he – with calmness, even affably. you were sick of that expression.

but that rage of yours quickly subsided. it wasn't that you forgave him, it was just that after a couple of days you got bored with being violent.

and a year later, you stopped paying attention to the seemingly completely insane circumstances of your new life at all. you didn't mind his sole yet imaginary control over you, just because he didn't mean that much to you.

even now, nothing has changed at all.

and with the tendons cut at your ankles, looking at him with the same bored eyes, you were still disgustingly beautiful to him in the moonlight on the last night of spring.

"tomorrow I will become emperor." – instead of greeting you, Rezef said, entering the room. his face did not express joy, rather, bewilderment, as if he himself for some reason was not completely happy with it.

"yeah." – you said, without looking up from the book, – "congratulations."

now it was difficult for you to move around by yourself, so Rezef usually carried you in his arms.

he sat down on the bed and put his head on your lap and frowned.

"tell me, [name]," – he looked up at you, and when he met your impassive face, he forced a smile, – "why do I feel like I'll never see you again?"

"because you won't. I'm bored." – you shrugged and continued, – "you know, I could hate you." – you spoke calmly and dryly – "but you're not worth it. because in the end, I go on living; I always go on, and you, child, will fall into the very depths of hell."

you stroked his golden hair and smiled calmly. Rezef hid his face on your hips.

"I don't regret anything," – little prince suddenly said softly and laughed.

the last night of spring burned out in your eyes as you disappeared.

brotha euugh

one day I'll go to therapy and stop being funny but not today

I finished playing slow damage and it's the best novel in my life (that shit destroyed me)

also good ends are for weak

I mean I write for yanderes ofc there's not gonna be anything good

it's either normal or "we're fucked" here

also I'm physically intolerable to good endings and will cry if I'd ever had to write one (I love sufferings)

[zapreportsblog]

❝HUSBAND❞

✭ PAIRING : Edward Cullen x Reader

✭ FANDOM : Twilight

✭ SUMMARY : When Edward proposed to Bella he expected her to accept after all they were mates? Right? Wrong! Bella rejected edwards proposal breaking his undead heart in the process, not being able to withstand the aftermath Edward leaves home; only to return 2 years later but this time he’s married?!

✭ AUTHORS NOTE : I already know there is a story on here called the same story with the same cover (on quotev at least) mines had been edited to a clearer form, (again on quotev) that was my old account, (marveluserlovesmarbel again on quotev was my old and very first account) one of my first actually. If I can remember the login information from it I’d log back in and post my stories from their over here but for now enjoy the remake of said story :)

✭ QUOTEV VERSION

✭ HUSBAND MASTERLIST

✭ CHAPTER TWO : A Surprise Homecoming

Inside the Cullen home, a sense of curiosity and anticipation hung in the air. The family gathered at the entrance, drawn by Alice's sudden vision and the excitement radiating from her. Her golden eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands together.

"I just had a vision," Alice announced, "Edward is coming back, and he should be arriving any minute now."

Everyone exchanged glances, surprised and eager to see Edward again. Moments later, the sound of an approaching car could be heard, and they watched as Edward pulled into the driveway. As he stepped out of the car, they were taken aback by the presence of a woman in the passenger seat. Edward opened her door, and they exited the vehicle, both smiling warmly at the Cullen family.

Edward greeted his siblings with hugs and was bombarded with questions about his trip. Carlisle suggested they continue the conversation inside, and they all moved into the house.

Once inside, Edward introduced the woman beside him. "Everyone, this is (Y/n). We got married."

The room fell into stunned silence. Carlisle was the first to break it, his face a mixture of surprise and happiness. "Edward, this is wonderful news, but since when did you get married?"

Edward explained, "We got married a year ago."

Alice gasped, fake outrage coloring her tone. "And you didn't let me plan your wedding? Unacceptable!"

Laughter rippled through the room as they realized Alice was teasing. Edward smiled, "Honestly, after Bella, I didn't expect to find love again."

Esme stepped forward, her motherly warmth enveloping them. "Well, I'm happy you did, son." She turned to (Y/n) and asked, "Now, how did you two come to be?"

(Y/n) laughed, her eyes sparkling. "I tried to kill him."

Bewildered looks crossed the faces of the Cullen family. Jasper scoffed and nodded. "That explains it."

”I’m sorry what?!”

”What can I say, it’s in my blood to hunt creatures like Edward,” (y/n) says with a laugh.

“Hunt? Are you a hunter?” Esme asked with slight hesitation.

”Yeah. My last name was Winchester but i guess it’s now (Y/n) Winchester Cullen, decided to keep my last name you know.”

Jasper can’t help but scoff, “Figures.”

Everyone was still puzzled, and Jasper elaborated, "The Winchesters are a hot-blooded family of hunters."

Edward added, "We're also mates."

Rosalie, never one to hide her feelings about Bella, couldn't help but ask, "Wait, aren't you and Bella mates?"

Edward explained, "When I met Bella, it was her blood that called out to me. She was my blood singer, which is why I felt such a strong connection to her. I deluded myself into thinking I loved her for her. But when I met (Y/n), I instantly felt the mate bond."

The family began to understand, and the room filled with smiles and warm welcomes for (Y/n). It was a surprising turn of events, and everyone felt a sense of joy and acceptance as they welcomed Edward and his new love back into their immortal lives.

┉

As the Cullen family settled into their cozy living room, the girls - Alice, Esme, Rosalie, and (Y/n) - conspired to have some girl talk out on the balcony. They silently made their way outside, leaving the boys to their own devices.

On the balcony, a sense of camaraderie and curiosity enveloped the girls. Esme leaned against the railing, looking at (Y/n) with a warm smile. "So, (Y/n), how did you find out that Edward was a vampire?"

(Y/n) leaned against the balcony and looked out at the starry night sky. "He did a good job hiding it at first, but after a few weeks, I noticed something unusual. One day, he reached out for something, and his hand caught the sunlight, causing it to sparkle like diamonds. I couldn't ignore that."

Rosalie's eyebrows arched in interest. "And what did you do next?"

(Y/n) chuckled. "I did what any person would do in this situation—I did some research. I found out about the myth of vampires sparkling in the sunlight, and it all started to make sense."

Esme nodded, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. "You were pretty observant."

(Y/n) shrugged. "I guess I've always had a knack for details."

Rosalie, intrigued by the prospect of conversation, leaned in closer. "Have you encountered more of our kind?"

(Y/n) thought for a moment before responding. "I've hunted vampires, but they're of different vampiric natures. Some of them don't sparkle, instead, they burn in the sunlight. Others have special jewelry that allows them to go into the sunlight without a problem."

Alice leaned forward, her golden eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Tell us more about the supernatural creatures you've encountered."

(Y/n) began to share stories of her encounters with various supernatural beings, including werewolves, shape-shifters, and even ancient mythical creatures. The girls listened with rapt attention, enjoying the opportunity to learn about (Y/n)'s adventurous life.

Back in the living room, the boys decided to go on a hunt, giving the girls some privacy. Edward proposed the idea, and Emmett, Carlisle, and Jasper readily agreed. With their departure, the girls had their opportunity to get to know (y/n) better.

In the heart of the dark woods, the Cullen brothers and father continued their hunt. Jasper, after a moment of contemplation, decided to address the questions that had been gnawing at him. He turned to Edward and said, "You look well."

Edward chuckled, his voice a wry whisper. "What's with the small talk, Jasper? You know I can hear your thoughts going a million miles a minute."

Jasper sighed, his concern evident. "Why a hunter, Edward? I know she's your mate, but you could've pulled away."

Edward's eyes, glinting like polished onyx in the moonlight, met Jasper's. "You know I wouldn't have been able to pull away if I felt the pull."

Jasper persisted, his voice tinged with worry. "She's a hunter, Edward. She's dangerous."

Edward countered, "And I'm a vampire. I can be dangerous too."

Emmett, who had been silently listening, finally chimed in. "I mean, they both can kill each other at the end of the day. Can't we move on from this topic?"

Jasper was unrelenting. "No, he's putting us all in danger. Aside from her being the very thing that kills us, she's also a human."

Edward's brow furrowed, and he asked, "What's your problem, Jasper?"

Jasper's voice grew more serious. "Listen, you've never faced a Winchester before. I have. Trust me, you don't want to cross their path."

Before the argument could escalate any further, Carlisle intervened. "Gentlemen, I suggest we drop this argument for now. I see something." He pointed toward a deer approaching through the trees, reminding them of the primary purpose of their venture. The brothers refocused their attention on the hunt, leaving their concerns and debates for another time.

The Cullen brothers and father, fresh from their successful hunt, made their way back to the house. Emmett carried the lifeless deer, a triumph in his strong arms. As they approached the house, their senses picked up the unmistakable scent of a familiar visitor. Bella Swan had arrived, her red beat-up pickup truck parked near the house.

Bella hesitated by the truck, her posture awkward and uncertain. She called out to Edward, "Hey, Edward. It's been a while."

Edward's face remained a mask of emotionless grace, but he kindly greeted her with a simple, "Hello, Bella."

Bella continued, "I didn't believe Charlie when he said he saw you passing through Forks. He said he saw you with someone. I take it you've brought a friend?"

Before Edward could answer, (Y/n) appeared, coming outside with a warm smile to greet him and the others. She rushed into Edward's arms, showering him with affectionate kisses on the face.

"My love," (Y/n) said, her voice filled with both relief and happiness. "You've been gone for so long, I got worried."

Edward's stoic facade softened as he held (Y/n) close, returning her affection with a warm embrace. Bella watched their reunion with a mix of emotions, perhaps sensing that the connection between Edward and (Y/n) was deeper and more profound than she had ever experienced with him.

[kenzies-love-stories]

Oh come on Bella Rewrite (Fem!swan reader x Felix volturi) pt 1

A/n: This is the first reinstallment of my oh come on bella series, I really hope everyone likes where I am going with this, first chapter is still mostly the same just more detailed now and a bit more polished than before. please feel free to request, I am rebranding my blog and need some fresh prompts.~kenzie

Pairing: Fem reader x felix

type and warnings: M for mature due to mentions of murder, suicidal thoughts, edwards a bit of a dick, Bestfriend alice!

word count: 3584

date posted: September, 9th 2024

Life has the tendency to fuck people, I experienced this firsthand. My life has been anything but easy, in fact it has been rather difficult. It all started when I was about 5 years old when my birth parents were murdered. I’m not sure why the culprit left little old me alive, but they did. I woke up in the middle of the night for a glass of water when I found them bloody and lifeless in the kitchen. At the tender age of five my life turned upside down. Chief Swan was the responding officer to my 911 call. I remember when he found me, I was cuddled up next to my bloody mom and dad hyperventilating.

Charlie decided then and there to adopt me out of the system I was about to be put into. Charlie welcomed me with open arms into his life yet despite this I still feel like I don’t belong in the Swan family, I feel like an outcast due to how long it took for Bella and I to get along. Bella was about seven when I came into their life. As any seven-year-old would be she was jealous and scared that this meant her dad didn’t love her anymore. Though I do owe my life to Charlie, if it wasn’t for Charlie whom I now call dad I would most likely be dead in an alleyway by now.

I am two years younger than my adopted sister Bella, which makes me sixteen years old. She and I are learning to get along better as we grow up. I remember the first time she referred to me as her sister, it made my heart feel full, she was thirteen and I was eleven.  Bella and I are relatively cool, but oh my fuck I hate her boyfriend, Edward. He has caused my sister so much pain and so much heartache, plus he reads my mind without my permission. This leads us to where we are now, in a stolen car speeding down the roads in Italy heading to rescue her sparkling boytoy. The only reason I agreed to go is because Alice asked, and I have a hard time saying no to the pixie like girl. She’s one of my best friends.

“Bella, you need to go! He won’t see you coming.” Alice exclaims and lets her out to run the streets of Volterra.

Once we are parked in a parking garage Alice freezes eyes slightly glazed over. “Alice what do you see?” I asked, getting out of the car.

“y/n/n stay here in the car,” Alice pleads with me.

“Hell no! They have my older sister in a room full of less than friendly vampires! Alice, I love you to death, but I am not staying here with Bella in there.” I state looking Alice in her Golden eyes.

“I am not going to win this one am I.” Alice sighs out.

“Nope, not a chance sorry.” I say as we start to walk in the shadowed streets of Volterra towards the castle.

We look down over a ledge and see Bella and Edward talking to two men in grey cloaks. Alice takes my hand in her cold one, “stay behind me.” she quietly whispers to me and jumps dragging me with her.

“Now boys we wouldn’t want to cause a scene now, would we?” she asks purposely shielding me from view of the two men even though they could more than likely smell me, they know I am there.

Curious and tired of standing behind Alice I move very slowly so I am standing slightly to the left but still behind her.  I get a good look at the two men; one is short yet still taller than me with sandy blonde hair and striking red eyes. My gaze switches to the other man who is very very tall, at least 6ft 3, if not taller. He has broad shoulders, nice biceps, and a strong face with the same striking crimson eyes. My breath catches in my throat when his hard red gaze lands on me and I swear I see his eyes soften, “Wait! I told you to stay behind me!” Alice grabs me to gently push me behind her again. She freezes when the tall man growls at her.

‘Wow he’s hot for a vampire.’ I think in my head

“y/n No!” Edward scolds me like a child

“Dammit Edward, I told you to stay out of my Fucking head.” I yelled angrily at him.

“Language little Dove.” I hear a sultry voice say, it sends a slight shiver down my spine and relaxes me at the same fucking time.

“Sorry, but Seriously Edward, stay, out, of, my, head! You are not ruining this trip for me; I was pulled out of bed to rescue your stupid ass, the least you can do is let me have my thoughts in peace.” I sternly grit out.

“You didn’t have to come.” He spat out at me 

I walk towards Edward in anger, “Edward you know better than anyone else as to why I must be here, you are always reading my thoughts, I know you heard them that night and yet you didn’t say anything, I was hospitalized because you couldn’t use your gift for good. If you had told Bella what I was thinking about I could been helped but you only tell her my secrets when it is amusing to you. I am not allowed to be alone until my therapy is up.”

“Watch yourself.” he growls standing tall a bit in front of Bella.

“No, you watch yourself! Mr. I’m too good to stay with my sister, if you wouldn’t have left her like you did none of this would have happened.” I find myself walking closer to Edward until I feel arms go around my waist not allowing me to move further.

“at least Bella doesn’t find a heartless killer attractive.” he states

Shocked I let out a laugh and remove the arms from my waist, “Seriously, Y/n!” Bella exclaims

“Oh! Come on Bella! Get over yourself Edward isn’t a saint either. I know he’s killed people too” I state still in the arms of the strong man I don’t know.

“y/n, he kills innocent people.” She whines out like a child.

“And Edward hasn’t?” I question

“don’t talk about him like that.” I roll my eyes at Bella comment. I love my sister but she can be such a hypocrite at times.

Bella comes stepping towards me with fire burning in her eyes. Bella starts to raise her hand when I am pulled behind a strong body and her hand is grabbed. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”  A rough voice states.

I see Bella become even paler as she walks back up to Edward. Before anymore commotion could happen, I see a young-looking girl walk towards us, “Demetri, Felix, Aro sent me to see what was taking you so long. “  She stops walking and glances over us, “I can see why, the Masters will be please with this, this way.”

In silence we follow the girl though I am stopped by a cold hand gingerly pulling me back and to face him.  “Are you alright, little dove.” the tall man asks bending down to my height to look me in my eyes.

“Yes, I am alright, thank you.” I feel my face get warm yet I maintain eye contact as I respond.

“Does he always treat you like that?”  he asks as we start to catch up with the others, my cheeks are flushed warm.

“Yeah, he’s a dickh-” “Language Little one.”  I am interrupted by the gaint man whose name I have yet to learn.

“I’m Sorry Giant.” I say shyly walking forward not looking at the man.

“Giant?!?” He questioned sounding a bit offended, maybe.

“Well, I don’t know your name, so Giant it is.” I smile at him softly

“I’m Felix Volturi, what is your name little Dove?” He finally introduces himself to me

“Nice to finally put a name to a face, I'm y/n swan, Bella's adopted sister.”

“A pretty name for a Pretty girl.” he says, and I blush so red, I'm probably redder than Felix’s eyes.

I notice that we are outside the throne room, and I start to get nervous, “Don’t be scared little Dove no one will harm you. He gently leads me into the throne room with his head on the small of my back in an oddly comforting way. I know that deep down I should feel frightened, but I feel very safe with the tall vampire who could kill me with only his pinky finger. We walk in and stop a little bit behind Alice and the blonde vampire.

“Felix how nice of you to finally join us, and you brought another human with you.”

“My apologies masters.” He marches forward leaving me behind Alice to give this other vampire his hand. After a few moments he starts to laugh, “magnifico.” he turns his red gaze towards me, “may I?” he asks as he slowly makes his way to me.

Frightened I look around the room for Felix, “little dove I promise it’s okay, no one is going to hurt you with me around.” Felix says as he gently rubs my back to soothe me.

With one last glance at Felix, I just nod and put my hand out for the vampire to take. “Aro reads thoughts y/n kind of like myself.” Edward states

‘Edward, I thought I told you to stay out of my head.’ I think and then I hear Aro giggle a bit at that thought. He turns to the tired looking vampire and the tired vampire just nods his head, “True mates they are.”

Bella seems to connect the dots faster than I do. “NO! I will NOT allow it,” Bella roughly grabs my wrist and pulls me behind her, I let out a wince of pain. I can see that this visibly upsets Felix, he marches towards Bella with eyes blazing red with anger.

“Keep your hands off of her and get away from her!” he growl out on his way towards her.

Before he can get to Bella, Edward maneuvers past me to push Bella behind him. This causes her to knock into me in the process and I fall to the hard ground, putting my hands out to catch myself before my face hits the hard ground with a groan. The short blonde vampire gently helps me back to my feet, “Are you okay little human?” He asks softly checking on me

“Thank you, I will be fine.” I say with a nod and turn back towards the commotion.

I can see Edward trying to take on the giant Vampire himself which is kind of pitiful to watch as I see Felix throw him around like it was nothing, “wow.” I whisper under my breath memorized.

“Y/n Y/M Swan!” Bella scolds me after they are done fighting, and Edward is back near her.

“What, it’s not my fault!” I exclaim, He’s hot I think in my head

“He kills people Y/N!” Bella tries to argue

“Oh, Come on Bella get over yourself! Edward is no saint either.” I shoot back, this makes Felix look at me with pride and Edward glares back at me.

“Cullen, you better relax your gaze when you look at her before I relax it for you.” Felix shoving a cloak into his arms roughly before making his way to me.

“Are you alright?” he asks me wiping some hair out of my face and placing it behind my ear.

“yeah, I am fine Felix, thank you.” I say blushing

“Demetri please escort them out.” Aro states going to sit back on his throne.

I start to walk towards the door behind my sister, “Not you y/n, we have a lot to discuss.” Aro states

Bella stops walking and turns, “I’m not leaving her alone, what needs to be said can be said here and now.”

“Y/n you are to stay here in Volterra with Felix.” Aro bluntly states

I feel my face get hot and my hands start to shake, my breathing quickens; I am going to have a panic attack. Felix can sense my accelerated heartbeat and brings me into a comforting hug. A gentle almost nonexistent humming rumbles in Felix chest starting calm me down.

“She can’t stay, she’s only 16.” Bella tries to reason with the old vampire king

Once I am calm enough, I turn in Felix’s arms looking up into his eyes, “Please allow me to return to Forks long enough for me to graduate, after my graduation I am more than willing to come back and stay with you no complaints.” I plead with the gentle giant.

“Do I have your word?” Aro questions

“Of course, I never break an oath.” I state sincerely

 Aro waits a moment “Very well, you may go back...but only until graduation, in two years Felix will be coming to bring you home.”

“Thank you I am so grateful.” I say with a serious tone.

“You may all leave at sundown until then you will be brought to a different room. Dinner will be here shortly.” The blonde king grumbles out.

I turn and look up at Felix, I wrap my hand under his arms as I am to short to reach his shoulders with my 5’4 frame. I squeeze him as tight as I can which doesn’t do much to him, after a second he gently places his arms around my waist, “When will I see you again?” I ask meekly resting my chin on his chest straining my neck a bit

“I will try my best to visit you when I can Little one but I am not certain.” He says and gently kisses my forehead with his cold lips, “Now go with Demetri.”

Demetri leads us to a different room, “Don’t leave here until sundown.” He states and turns to leave, smiling at me softly on his way out.

I am stuck in this room with Alice watching Bella and Edward being all lovey Dovey. After about an hour of the torture of watching the couple, the door opens and a person walks in, I don’t pay it any mind as I think it is just Demetri. I am very much pleasantly surprised when I hear the voice of the one and only Felix, “Little Dove, will you please come with me.”

Bella and Edward both perk up at this question, “No she isn’t leaving this room with you!” Bella exclaims

“Bella let her go, Felix won’t do anything to hurt her, in fact she is the safest with him than anyone else, vampire or otherwise, there is no one safer for her to be around.”  Alice comes to my aid by saying this.

Without another word from my sister or Edward I take Felix's outstretched hand and allow him to gently pick me up off the cold stone floor.  He doesn’t release his gentle grip on my hand once I am standing. He keeps my hand in his as he leads me through the castle. We stop as he opens a new door, “Lady’s first.”

I walk into what seemly is a bedroom, I can feel my nerves slightly rise when he shuts the door behind him. “Hey, it’s okay, relax cara mia it’s okay. I figured that you would want to talk somewhere more private.” He says while sitting at a table by a huge bookshelf. Amazed, I walk over to the bookshelf and gently run my fingers along the leather spines of the books as I walk past them in fascination. Most of these are first editions kept in pristine condition, these books are very much loved.

I stop when I hear his voice, “Do you like read?”

I turn my attention to him, back now to the bookshelf and I answer, “Very much so,” I pause, “Have you read all these?”

“Yes, I have actually, you have a lot of extra time on your hands when your immortal.” he jokes, “so tell me, what’s your favorite genre of book.”

I kind of giggle out of embarrassment, “As ironic as it sounds, I really enjoy fantasy.”

Felix nods his head and makes his way over to the shelf directly in front of me. He gently places one hand on my hip and with the other he reaches to the top of the bookshelf with minimal effort. He pulls a small but thick leather book from above my head.

When he brings the book down to my height his cold hand releases my hip to present the book to me, “Here little Dove, this one is called The Bloody Chamber, it was published in 1979 and it is a collection of short stories.”

I gently run my fingers over the leather cover with gold writing across it. “Felix, this is a first edition, I can’t take this back to Forks with me.”  I make eye contact with his memorizing red ones, which I noticed are brighter now that he has fed.

“yes, you can, I trust you to take care of it.” He states like it was the most obvious thing ever.

With a smile I pull him in for a hug “Thank you Fe! I’ll take really good care of it.”

“I know you will.”

“Fe?” I question

“Yes Dove?” he replies looking down at me

“How tall are you?” I question

“I’m 6 foot 7.” he replies with amusement

“How is that even possible.”

“I was a gladiator before I was turned by Aro.”

“Really? That is so cool!” I pause before questioning. "Will you help me with my history test next year.”

“Of course, once I figure out contact information that is.” Felix states

My smile dropped slightly, my phone... I left it back in forks, “I left my phone in forks, and I don’t know my new phone number yet.”

“you’re okay, I need to get myself a phone anyway, until then how about I write to you.”

“I would really like that a lot Felix.” I look and see that the sun is starting to set over the horizon.

“I should probably get you back to your sister before she thinks I ran away with you.” he jokes and leads me back to the room we were waiting in.

I giggle as we head towards the small room, “Yeah that’s probably for the best unfortunately.”

“Don’t you worry Dove soon I won’t have to give you back.” He smiles out.

“I really hate goodbyes, so I’ll see you later Felix.” I say feeling my tear ducts start to swell with tears as I already feel such a strong pull to him.

“See you later Dove, Stay out of trouble for me okay.” He says handing me the book from earlier.

“I promise, stay safe please.” I say grabbing the book with our hands accidentally touching.

Before I go, I stand on my tippy toes and place my hands on his shoulders to help steady myself; he places his hands on my hips to steady me further. I gently kiss him on the cheek as a goodbye gesture. I make my way over to alice with a small smile. As I walk away arm and arm with Alice, I see his eyes widen slightly in shock.

Alice and I let Bella and Edward go in front of us, “So did he follow through with kissing you?” she asks teasingly

“What no, we just talked and he gave me a book. It was really sweet” I smile sweetly

“You like him already, don’t you?” she asks

“I’m pretty sure I might, I do feel safe with him.” I state

“You and him are going to be really happy, I’ve seen it. You both are going to bring out the good in each other.” she finishes her statement fondly. “It was honestly what I was wishing for Edward and Bella too but it’s not looking very good.”

When Bella and I finally make it home we face the wrath of Charlie Swan. It was more so pointed at Bella than myself. This is because she left me no choice, I had to go. Bella had to be home by 4 pm every day, I however got to stay out until 5pm. Our punishment is going to be in effect until the end of the school year. I run up to my room after we are done with Charlie’s lecture, and I sit on my queen size bed. I gently opened the book that Felix had given me. I let my eyes scan the words on the pages only carefully turning them with the softest touch to not transfer too much of my skin's oils back on to the original parchment.  

I read the first short story before putting my bookmark into the book and gently placing it on the bookshelf where it will remain safe. I crawl into bed and place my head on the pillow as I start to drift off into a deep sleep thinking of Felix. I hope I get a letter from him soon.

taglist:

@small-town-wayward-daughter @venusdelaroix @trashy-panda777 @kezibear143 @smithmallory13 @im-as-mad-as-a-wax-bananna @sunsetswurve @believinghurts

@xcastawayherosx @iloveslasher @yikeskatz

@melinsk1 @ssa--holmes @artaxerxesthegreat @jenfox25 @lacychick @smileykiddie08 @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx

[ktsumu]

RESOLUTIONS (this year is different) tw: alcohol consumption

This year, you wait for January in an apartment that is packed full.

You’re familiar with everyone, for the most part, all people who have played with Ushijima over the years, all people you’ve watched in one jersey or another. Everyone is laughing, happy — even Wakatoshi himself who, normally quite reserved, laughs with one of his teammates, a glass half-full in hand.

This year is different, you tell yourself. 

You know that, whenever you're all drunk enough to call it a night, you’ll call a cab and go home, probably kiss on the way there. He’ll lean on the bathroom counter and giggle while you smear your makeup away with a wipe, then take it from you and do it himself. He’ll be so much worse at it, but he’ll be gentle, and you’ll let him.

This year, you’re going to let yourself be loved. You’re excited to let him.

You watch Wakatoshi from your place on the couch, a small smile on your face. Happy looks good on him; he’s handsome when he’s free. His smile gives him lines around his mouth, his eyes crinkle. His laugh is saccharine. 

He doesn’t notice you’re watching, either, it’s not often he does. It’s not hard to be subtle — your eyes typically find him, anyway, golden boy wherever he goes.

This year, I’m going to let myself be loved.

You met him years ago, sort of in a situation like this. You were both in a bar in Tokyo, you think, and he stuck out like a sore thumb; freshly twenty and new to this, surrounded by teammates who made it obvious he’s never been to a bar before.

They also made it obvious he was new to a lot of things, likely why they made it so obvious in how they were jabbing his side with their elbows, nodding to you sat a few seats down. Go talk to her, she’s totally into you, she’s pretty!

(He didn’t even talk when he first sat down — you offered him a shot he probably needed and he took it.)

The rest is history.

It feels weird to think about going home. Home. You live with him, the bills get paid. He has smile lines and stretch marks on his shoulders. He’s going to take your makeup off for you because he’s seen you in every way you come. You have a house and you have a home — your friend said she thinks he might propose this year.

Growing pains are scarier when they’re not in your knees.

You only notice he’s moved when the couch sinks beside you. Wakatoshi sits next to you, a close-lipped smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he rests a hand on your thigh.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and it’s just the two of you.

You look over his face, his flushed cheeks. You smile, too. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Wakatoshi is gentle when he guides you towards him, his hand on your nape, kissing you like you’ve never done it before. He tastes like Tennessee, and like a resolution. 

This year, I’m going to kiss him more.

“I love you,” he murmurs. “I’m glad I’m here with you.”

Whatever dread you carried before, it’s going away now.

“You are?” you tease, pulling back to really look at him. An anonymous hand walks by and ruffles his hair, like he’s scoring his first girl, and carries on. He doesn’t look up. 

“Very.”

“Mm,” you hum, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I guess I’m glad I’m here with you, too.”

“I mean, I would hope so.”

“Hah,” you snort, “I’m excited to go home, too.”

He scoffs, as if he isn’t typically the reserved one; as if he wasn’t the one you had to convince to make a show here. “You want to get out so soon?”

“What, you’re not excited to deal with me at home?” you giggle, craning your head to look up at him. “Not excited to spend, like, a fat hour getting ready for bed?”

He snickers again, taking a sip of his drink. He squints like he drank it too quickly. 

“Like last year?”

“Yup. Except, I don’t know about the last part. I’m gonna pass out the second I hit the mattress, ‘Toshi.”

“That’s okay, I’ll tuck you in.”

Your chest warms, and you both laugh. One of you starts it, but you don’t remember who.

“You’re gonna tuck me in and take my makeup off, huh?”

“Like last year,” he confirms. “And get you water — get us both water,”

“Mm, you’ll need it, big guy.”

“I am fine.”

“Yeah, I know. As long as you can see where my face is, that’s good enough for me.”

“I can find it blind,” he says simply, smoothing your hair back and out of your face. “But yes, I can see it fine.”

You smile all crooked — he tilts his head like he wants to see it upright. 

“We’re gettin' older, huh ‘Toshi?”

“That is how years work, yes.”

“Going home,” you say; your thoughts are all out loud. “Going to bed.”

He smiles — he loves it. “Unless you want to stay out?”

“No, no, I want to. I’m just,” you take a deep breath, “thinking. This’ll be how many years?”

“Not enough,” he says simply. “I wanna do this forever.”

“Hah, well, I have no doubt your body could sustain years of New Years Eve parties—”

“I meant going home,” he interrupts. “Taking off your makeup, getting you water, and kissing you goodnight.”

Your heart swells to the point of being uncomfortable, the lump in your throat impossibly there. His hand hasn’t left your thigh, it hasn’t risen higher, it just sits there. His touch is warm like a swaddle, unmoving. It’s so familiar that you lean into it like you're being carried to bed.

Wakatoshi grins; it’s crooked and you tilt your head to see it upright. “Every year, I think I love you a little more.”

(The dread you had is gone now — why you ever had it, you don’t know for sure.)

This year is different, you tell yourself. This year, you’re gonna grow.

There’s a cheer throughout the room, all this laughter becoming a dull muffle when the room seems to reach the sound capacity the little space has. There’s kazoos, glass clinking, goofy hats falling to the floor — people are singing:

“Happy new year, love,” he murmurs, and he captures your lips again.

This year, I’m gonna grow.

I’m gonna let him love it, and maybe I’ll love it, too. 

[tofics]

Broken - Chapter 5

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie have returned to Jackson when he finds you on patrol, half frozen and half burning up. Jackson takes you in and nurses you back to health, welcoming you as the newest member of their community. The more time passes, Joel realizes that you and him have more in common than he likes… Until one day, everything changes and you get a gift that he’ll never get.

Word Count: 6472 words

Warnings: feelings of shame, mention of child death, developing feelings and the uncertainty that comes with that, crying, cuddling, and, at long last, fluff, fluff, and more fluff!

A/N: Brace yourselves, for this is the quiet that comes before the storm. This was so hard to write because the pain of the reader and Joel stands so much at the forefront and going into lighter, happier feelings beyond that requires such a drastic mindset change 😮‍💨 I'm pretty satisfied with the outcome though. I hope you enjoy! And, remember, come Friday, Aug. 16th, we're back on a regular posting schedule! 😊

Chapter 5 - New Leafs and Old Foes

"Hoooo, eaaaasy there girl, easy." The mare neighs nervously and raises on its hindlegs. You stop your movement, but don't retreat, instead digging your heels deeper into the mud. Opposite of you, Savannah, the stable's keeper, is mirroring your moves, struggling to stay upright in the slick mud as she tugs on the mare's reins. The animal comes down with a thump and sprays the both of you with specks of sludge as she neighs again, her panicked eyes flicking back and forth between you and your helper.

"Easy now, girl, easy." The calmness of your voice finally seems to register with the panicked animal when her eyes flit back to you and lock on you. Her nostrils flare and she shifts on her legs uneasily, but her hoofs remain on the ground. You gonna work with me, girl? You convey the question with your eyes, a silent exchange between the two of you. It takes a moment, but eventually you notice the horse's body language shift - the 'yes' you were waiting for.

The animal is still panting, but she allows your touch when you run your flat hand over her strong neck. "Atta girl." She snorts in response to your whispered soothing appraisals and you can't help but smile.

"What are you, the horse whisperer or something?" Savannah carefully slips the reins into your hand with a big grin.

"Call me Robert Redford, sweetheart." You tip your imaginary cowboy hat in her direction with a wink.

"Phew, she ain't half bad, hu?" Tommy whistles through his teeth and you turn at the sound, giving the two brothers a small smile and wave in response.

Joel just grunts, but smiles back at you with a nod of his head.

"Don't think I don't saw that." Tommys voice matches the foolish grin on his face.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about. Ain't nothing to see." Joel clicks his tongue and leads his horse into the stable, away from the paddock where your little show took place. Once they're inside his stallion's box, he takes off the saddle and the halter, placing both on their respective mounts in the stable.

"Hey, no shame in fallin' in love, brother." Tommy's voice drifts over from the box next to Joel's. "After all," - his head pops up over the barrier, plastered with the same silly grin as before - "wouldn't dream of judgin' you when I'm guilty of the same crime." He sticks his left hand in the air and pointedly twirls the golden band on his ring finger.

Joel snorts but doesn't shoot back. Instead he heads back outside into the fresh spring air. It's one of those days that make it look like summer, all sparkling blue sky dotted with fleecy clouds and warm sunshine, but set one foot into a shadowy area and you're back in winter, with wind that's still got a sharp bite to it and temperatures that'll have your teeth chattering.

Joel tugs his on the collar of his jacket as he approaches the paddock's fencing, trying to shield himself from the chilly breeze that blows past the stable's shadowy entrance. It won't take more than an hour, but for now, only one half of the paddock is glistening in the sun, the trampled mud and sludge sparkling in the warm rays where the rain water has collected in little pools.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon. That's it. Atta girl." Your voice dances through the air and Joel watches the latest addition to the stable trot alongside you with ease, the panic of just a few minutes ago seemingly forgotten. It doesn't surprise him in the least. Your lures are so sweet, not only by word but by sound, delivered in a soft and light trill that could fit right in with the chirps of the birds that are coming out more and more each day. 'Talk to me like that, and I'd follow you anywhere too,' he thinks and feels the immediate internal backlash.

For fuck's sake. Get it together.

Of course Joel knows what Tommy's talking about. He's caught himself in moments like these one too many times not to know. That doesn't mean he has to admit it, though. Nor does he have to like it.

It's been a long time since anyone stirred something inside of him the way you do. There was Tess - she and him had been partners, both in business and in bed, but there had been nothing romantic about it. What he had with her was different, more down-to-the-point oriented. In business terms, it was a perfect match. She was the social baseline to their partnership, yet no less ruthless than Joel. He sometimes admired her for it, how she held on to that part of herself that made her more human. He lost touch with that side of him for years and had no interest in rebuilding it, not until he met Ellie anyway. She's softened him and brought him back to life in ways he didn't think were possible anymore.

So perhaps it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that you do something to him. And you have, from the start. Joel's not one to care for other people's business unless it's somehow related to him, and yet, he has found himself wondering about you time and time again. You mostly keep to yourself, but you're amazing with Ellie. You seem to share his love for silence, but you can easily talk his ear off if he gets you going on the right topic.

But more than that - and perhaps, most importantly so - he sees something in you that reminds him of himself, in the most painful way. He can see you trying to hide it around Ellie, but your occasional shut-downs never go undetected by him. Thankfully, you haven't had any meltdowns since that one time, but there are smaller signs of when you retreat somewhere into the back of your mind. The smile on your face becomes less genuine, like a cheap knock-off version of the real deal. Your eyes cloud over and lose the vibrancy they usually shine with. And sometimes, your arm wanders over your chest and digs into your other arm, like you're trying with all your might to hold yourself together.

Those moments are the worst for you, as far as he can tell. He's found himself wanting to reach over and gently losen the grip you have on your arm, to hold your hand and let it squeeze him instead, but of course he doesn't. Joel doesn't think it's his place, or if you'd even want him to. He never asks. He doesn't know how. And it's pissing him off.

He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again, and those years are well behind him. Hell, he's currently got a teenager at home, he's got no business acting the way he does. But it's just like it was back then, all those years ago. You come into his proximity and boom. It's like he's on fire. His palms break out into a sweat and his heart is hammering in his chest. It's pathetic, the way your sheer presence sometimes reduces him to a sixteen year old hormonal boy, when his real age is twice that and then some.

Worse than that, despite being thrice the age of a teenager, he's apparently about as good at hiding his crush as he was back then. Thankfully, Ellie hasn't caught on to it - yet, she likely wouldn't let him hear the end of it - and as far as he can tell, neither have you, but Maria keeps looking at him funny and this isn't Tommy's first comment regarding you either. Leave it to his brother to rat him out to his wife.

Flipping his collar back down, Joel exposes his neck to the chilled air around him in hopes of it having the same effect as a cold shower. Lord knows he could need one.

You feel Joel‘s gaze on you before you spot him leaning against the fence, looking better than he should be allowed to. A faint memory of some women’s magazine’s article pops up in the back of your head, something about how the entirety of an outfit should never consist of just jeans, and yet you couldn’t disagree more. Dressed in a lined denim jacket and a pair of pants made of the same fabric, he looks more like a catalogue model than a failed fashion ensemble. The cowboy hat he's been wearing lately sits on his salt and pepper hair, rounding off the ensemble like a cherry on top.

"Howdy, partner," you call out and watch with satisfaction as a small smile plays out on Joel's face. He tries to hide it in the same way he often pretends not to be amused by Ellie's jokes, pushing his bottom lip out and biting down on it from the inside. Clearly he's unaware of how little it's working, or how terribly adorable he looks doing it.

"Mornin'," he replies when you've almost reached the fence, the remnants of his hidden smile still visible in the twitching corners of his mouth.

The mare behind you snorts uneasily and you take a step back to softly pat her neck, but your eyes stay on Joel. "Patrol all done?"

"Mh-hmm. Haven't seen you on patrol in a while." The way he says it, it sounds like an unspoken question, and you understand why.

When you had begged Maria to take you off patrol, she had agreed instantly, probably persuaded (and somewhat concerned) by the cascade of tears running down your face. "Did something happen?," she had asked, the question loaded with the unspoken add-on of 'with Joel' and you just shook your head no, a wordless workaround for the very lengthy real answer you didn't have the strength to give, nor had the right words for. After all, how could you explain that what had brought you to her doorstep wasn't a miss-step on Joel's side, but a melt-down on yours and the subsequent overwhelming shame of Joel not only having been a witness, but the one to have helped you through it? A 'no' was just so much easier, and even though Maria didn't look like she fully believed you, she took you off patrol and gave you the day off, with the reminder that you could come talk to her about anything, anytime.

The next morning, you were back on Tommy and Maria's doorstep, asking if you could be placed with livestock care instead. You were nowhere nearly fully-recovered, but shame and worry had driven you out of your house and back to theirs. You weren't gonna be a leech, living off of other people's hard work. No matter how low you felt, you were determined to contribute to this community - preferably somewhere that wasn't right next to Joel. Tommy was eyeing you suspiciously, concern written all over his face, and a vague memory of him showing up behind Joel's house while you were 'chopping firewood' popped into the back of your head. The blood rushed to your head and painted you a deep shade of red, but you withstood his gaze regardless. Not a day later, you started at the stables. You haven't been back to patrol since.

"Remember how you said you thought I would be working with the animals, given my background on a farm? Well, turns out you were on to something. I didn't know how much I missed it until I was right back in it." You smile at him and try to ignore the feeling of guilt that's trying to take hold in your stomach. Even though you know you don't 'owe' Joel an explanation, the last thing you want is for him to be thinking you're avoiding him.

Especially if the opposite is true.

You're thriving in your new job placement, there's no denying that. You can't even really take credit for the idea either - it was simply the first thing you could think of in the heat of the moment, a fluke, really, but in a weird, cosmical-fate-kind-of-way, it looks like your abrupt change of profession has landed you exactly where you need to be. The work has a sense of familiarity about it that - for once (miraculously) - doesn't bring about pain. Instead, the smell of hay and manure takes you back to your childhood farm's stables, and so many of your daily tasks come naturally to you, your hands seemingly moving on their own accord through muscle memory. Sure, it's far more labor-intensive than any of your patrols have been and a lot smellier - most days, you come home covered in tiny flakes of straw and various spots of god-knows-what on your clothing, reeking of manure, wool and hay, but you don't mind. Somehow, feeling the day's work in your bones and carrying the evidence of your labor on your clothes helps you feel a sense of achievement at the end of a day, something that you didn't have on your patrols. On top of that, the body-intensive work seems to be a tremendous help with your insomnia: more often now than not, it takes you a lot less time to fall asleep. From all of your job's perks, this might just be your personal favorite.

There is only one downside to your new work arrangement, and ironically, it's the very reason you ditched patrols in the first place:

You don't get to see Joel as much as you did before.

You only managed to avoid him for a couple of days after the 'incident' before he tracked you down and set you right. It hadn't been enough time to properly work through the aftermath of your meltdown, so even though he made a point of saying you had nothing to be embarrassed about, shame and guilt stayed glued to you for days, despite your various tries to rid yourself of them. They were most present when he was present, a walking and talking reminder of who you'd bared your insides to in one of your weakest moments, and you found it easier to work through your feelings when Joel wasn't around. Your new job came in quite handy that way.

And then of course, there was that kiss on your forehead that you kept and keep thinking about, no matter how much you try not to. It added to the pile of feelings you had to sort through, spicing up the mix by adding very conflicting emotions.

On one hand, thinking back to the gentle gesture makes something tiny flutter in your belly, a sensation you're not sure you've ever truly felt before. Sure, there have been men in your life, but most of these arrangements were just that, arrangements, a means-to-an-end, an offering of yourself in exchange for safety or food. By some miracle, your life in Jackson has no need for arrangements like that. You still have your doubts about your safety, although that's more of a general concern that applies to the safety of Jackson as a whole, rather than concerns in regards to specific members of Jackson. Men are no longer a double-edged sword that can provide safety or be what you need protecting from, they're suddenly an option. It's a concept that is entirely new to you and that you weren't thinking about in the least, until that goddamn kiss on your forehead.

That kiss has opened up a world of possibilities you never previously had the luxury of even thinking about, and now, you can't stop thinking about it. It's come to a point where you only have to be in Joel's proximity to feel that tiny flutter in your belly. It's both delightful and entirely terrifying, so much so that you find yourself in a constant, sometimes overlapping loop of wanting to be close to Joel and wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

"Yeah well, I get it. Might've won against one horse, but an entire farm's worth of livestock? I can't compete with that." There's a glint in Joel's eyes, a small playful twinkle that creases the corners of his eyes and tugs on his lips and you can't help but laugh.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short now. You could've taken on two horses easily, maybe even three. It's the cows that are my weak-spot. You never stood a chance against those."

Joel's hand dramatically clutches at his chest as if you just delivered a blow to it. "Oof. Did what I could, though. Gotta know when to quit."

There it is again, that little flutter in your belly as you giggle and hit his arm playfully. It warms your belly and sends warmth up into your nose, your cheeks and your ears, even your hands and fingers. The skin that touched his jacket on impact is tingling and you suddenly have the strange urge to lay a hand on the jeans material again, though this time more softly and not in a rushed smack.

The impulse is so bizarre to you that you quickly withdraw your hand and tighten your clutch on the reins again. "Better get this lady inside her box. She's had quite the eventful morning."

The town hall is already bustling when you arrive. Although town meetings are open to everyone in Jackson, attendance isn't required unless you've been summoned, so the audience usually consists of Jackson's adults, with just a few of the kids and teens here and there.

Tonight is no different. As expected, quite a few seats are already occupied, but some of the backrows still have some free spots. Just when you choose one - close to the aisle, and, conveniently, close to the back exit - Evelyn claps her hands together. "Okay, let's get started, everyone." Just like any good classroom back in the day, everyone quiets down quickly until you can only hear the occasional foot shuffle or coughing.

"Thank you. I hereby declare this town meeting open. Gary, it's your turn." Evelyn takes her seat in the half-circle that's positioned so it faces the crowd and motions towards one of her neighbors.

Town meetings always follow the same structure. Someone on the council opens the meeting by giving an overview of the last month. This includes all kinds of stats: how that month's harvest went, animal count, town incidents (if any took place) or patrol reports about infected sightings or run-ins with raiders. Presumably, this is also the segment in which they provided updates about your health, back when you first arrived in Jackson. As far as journalism goes, this is the closest to a news source that Jackson has.

The news segment is followed by the 'open floor'. For this part, people can bring forward their nuisances that they were unable to resolve on their own. Just like the town meeting itself, this segment is open to every inhabitant of the town, council members included. You have yet to see a serious issue be brought up for this segment, but that speaks for the town's conflict management. Most people hash it out between themselves, and if anything does land in front of the council, it's typically something small or petty, like a drunken dispute or a missed shift.

The last item on the agenda tends to be the most interesting one: pending tasks, jobs and missions.

As with any town, small tasks and jobs can come up that are out-of-the-ordinary or temporary, yet no less urgent or to be overlooked. According to Joel, this is where they sometimes offer special rewards, depending on the appeal of the task. So far, there has been nothing in this segment that's caught your attention, but this part always has you on high alert.

You lean forward in anticipation as Tommy reads out a few smaller tasks that need to be taken care of, waiting for a good catch for yourself.

Surprisingly, you don't have to wait very long.

Joel's not a huge fan of town meetings. They tend to bore him, but he attends them anyway, mostly for Tommy and Maria and because it's good to get updates about the town once in a while. For today's meeting, there might have been the additional motivational factor of you being there, but he tries not to think about that too much.

Joel comes in as one of the last people. Most seats are already taken, but he doesn't mind, preferring to stand anyway.

Although you sit with your back to him, he spots you almost instantly, the backside of you standing out to him as if someone's casting a spotlight on you.

The meeting drones on, and Joel only half listens as he's leaning against one of the wooden pillars. His eyes wander across the room periodically, taking in Jackson's people as they react to news and chatter amongst themselves occasionally. It's a good way to get a read of the room, a habit he picked up in Boston and hasn't been able to shake yet. Despite Jackson being relatively safe, he still feels the need to get a feel for the current mood of Jackson's inhabitants. Never know when things might turn sour.

There's no denial about where his eyes wander most frequently. Every time he catches himself, he averts his gaze and hopes you don't feel him staring holes into the back of your head, just to repeat the process a couple of minutes later. You seem pretty relaxed, judging by your body language, until it's Tommy's turn to announce upcoming tasks and missions. He might have missed if you weren't secretly the center of his attention, but he immediately catches the way you lean forward when Tommy begins to speak.

"As Gary mentioned, one of our cows passed away at the start of the month. We knew it was coming and we hoped she'd pull through the winter, and bless that girl, she did. Still, we're one cow short now, and that just won't do. We'd like to put together a crew of at least two people to scour the nearby towns and places we last knew to hold some cows, see if any of them are still there. Any takers?"

To Joel's surprise, your hand flies up almost instantly.

Adding to his surprise, he feels his own hand raising before he even knows what he's doing.

Tommy's mouth twitches as his eyes land on his big brother. "And it looks like we got two volunteers!" You turn around in your seat, following Tommy's gaze to somewhere behind yourself before your eyes lock with Joel's. Joel can see the surprise on your face and something else that he can't quite place, and for a second, he's worried he's overstepped. "Perfect. We'll hash the details out later in person." Tommy nods to you and then to Joel, still clearly trying to hide a smirk behind quivering lips. "Okay, moving on. Angelo's caught a cold, so we need someone to take over his shift at the school..."

Tommy's voice fades into the background. Your eyes are still locked on Joel's, the same unreadable expression on your face.

Done messed up now, Joel thinks and has the urge to bang his head against the wooden pillar he's leaning on.

But just then - miraculously - you smile.

Tommy keeps his instructions brief: checkout all last known cow-locations and only bring one back if the circumstances allow for it. You are not to risk your life for that of a cow.

He spends more time repeating that last clause than he does going over the initial plan.

"Do you have a history of saving cows or something?," you ask Joel on your way to the supplies shelter. He responds with something of a chuckle and a scoff.

"Just saying, sounded like he was particularly worried about you risking your life for a cow, of all things."

"Yeah? Who says that wasn't directed at you? Ain't me that's workin' in livestock after all." Joel looks at you with half a smile and you feel that little tingle in your belly respond immediately.

How am I going to survive an entire mission next to this man?, you think and feel the slightest pink seeping into your cheeks.

"Maybe, but he was looking at you the entire time. Am I gonna have to drag you out of there if we see a cow being attacked by infected? I'm just asking so I know what to expect, you know. To prepare."

His snort is paired with a slight eye-roll and you giggle like the little school-girl he makes you feel like.

Betsy gets the two of you sorted with all the supplies you could need. An assortment of ropes, fire-starting-kits, cans of food and a health-kit is already littered on the large table in the middle as she adds two small sleeping bags.

"Now Joel, I know you've been on runs before, so you know how this goes. Y'all can go over to the weapon's den and get whatever y'all fancy. This right here is to cover the survival aspect of it all." Betsy chatters along while she continues to pile supplies onto the table. "Y'all don't gotta take everythin' we hand out, but it's highly recommended that you do. I don't think I gotta say this, but whatever you use up is gone, so make sure you find spares unless you wanna be fresh out of somethin'. Wouldn't complain if you bring back a few extras of whatever I give you either, but it's not a must. I know what it's like out there. I'll just be glad when you two come home safe."

You nod along while you examine everything she puts out on to the table. This is worth gold. Everything you could think of is accounted for, and then some.

You can't help but think that some people out there would kill for a set-up like this. If people knew about Jackson...

"Okay, one more thing." Betsy walks into the adjoining room and returns with a packed up tent in her arms. "It ain't big, but I expect y'all won't mind that, 'specially with temperatures still droppin' below freezin' at night. I reckon y'all might wanna snuggle up, for warmth and all."

You feel the tips of your ears burning while the rest of your face hurries to catch on, coloring you a deep shade of red. Snuggle with Joel. Betsy might as well have suggested you could kiss for warmth with the way you feel about the suggestion. Awkward, definitely, but worse: excited.

Crap crap crap.

You discreetly glance sideways at Joel who appears to be looking anywhere at you, then becomes intensely interested in one of the backpacks Betsy is offering. It might be your imagination, but you could swear that Joel's ears look a lot more flushed than normally.

You start off into your mission early the next morning while it's still dark out. Tommy sees you off at the gate.

"Y'all got everything you need?"

The two of you nod.

"Good. Be back safe. Watch out for each other." Tommy gives a sign to the men manning the door and they crack it open just enough so you and Joel can slip through on your horses.

It's a misty morning and the damp cold seems to find every little hole in your clothing to seep through. Your breath comes out in puffy little white clouds and you thank yourself for having remembered your gloves.

Joel leads the way. Tommy had the route all mapped out for you already, although he agreed to alterations where needed. "The two of you have been out there long enough to know when to trust your gut. If anything feels off, feel free to adjust the route accordingly. Ain't no sense in sticking to a plan if it gets y'all killed," he'd said.

For now, you stick to his pre-planned route and head south-west. The first stop on your map, an old ranch called 'Spring Creek' is just two hours out.

Neither of you speak much during your ride there.

But instead of the awkward silence you were worried about, there's a mutual understanding of enjoyed silence between the two of you that you developed on your patrols together.

Spring Creek turns out to be a bust, which surprises neither of you. 'Lucky' is not really something that's in the cards anymore in this world, as you're both well aware of.

The next stop on the map is less than half an hour away, located not far of the bridge that leads over the Snake River. It's a gorgeous place, once a park and now entirely reclaimed by nature, with the first signs of game here and there, but not a cow in sight.

By the time evening rolls around, you've made it across the river and into what used to be Wilson. Supposedly, there's an old farm a little further out of town if you head west.

When Joel suggests that you save the ranch for the next day, you have no trouble agreeing considering how little daylight you have left. You let your horses trot along the highway until you reach the outskirts of town that's framed nicely by a small forest. Joel leads his horse off the road and onto the open field to where the grass meets the trees.

"Looks like pretty thick foliage. Ain't no getting through with these horses. I'd say we make camp out here. Foliage should have our backs covered nicely, and we got a clear view into each direction over the field. Whaddaya say?"

The light of your small fire dances across your face in the dark, flames leaping over your eyebrows and then cowering beneath your cheekbones, only to lick up the side of your skull in the next second.

Joel watches the fiery dance on your features and finds himself wishing he could be the one to caress your face instead of the flames, trailing your skin with the pads of his fingers the same way the light does.

Although the day's journey was uneventful, all of his senses are on high-alert. Your presence is like a steady hum in the back of his mind. It started out fine this morning, just the spark of excitement he's now used to getting when you come into his proximity. But it has progressed throughout the day, steadily gaining in size and momentum during the shared hours together. Whatever you do to him, it's pulling him towards you like a moth is drawn to the light. If you were a candle in the morning, by now, you shine as bright as the sun.

"Tell me somethin' about yourself," he hears himself say. You look up from the fire and meet his gaze, a lazy smile on your lips. "Like what?"

"Anythin'." Joel wants to know it all. You're the puzzle he can't piece together but can't put on a shelf either. He's tried, and not just once. He tried it after your first patrol together. He tried it after you became a steady guest in his house, bringing warmth and humor with you anytime you came. Joel stepped out of the fuzzy feeling you ignited in him every night, neatly folded it and put it on the shelf in the back of his mind where things go to be forgotten, only to find himself wearing it again the next time he saw you at the dining hall or at his kitchen table.

He can fool himself all he wants, but your presence brings out the truth in him regardless, no matter what he tells himself.

"That's a broad frame."

"I have a broad interest." In you. Joel doesn't add the words, but they hang in the air regardless, almost as bright and shiny as the fire between the two of you. Joel wonders whether you can see them as clearly as he can.

You smile again and fiddle with the zipper of your jacket while you think. "You already know most of it," you finally say and Joel almost calls out bullshit, because he doesn't, not by a longshot. His knowledge on you is filled with gaps, a cloze he desperately wants to fill.

"Then tell me something I don't know yet," he says instead. Questions are piling up on his tongue, but he's biting them down.

What is that sadness that fills you on some days?

and

Do you, God forbid, know the same loss I do?

He sees it mirrored in you, the desperation and soul-wrecking-pain that comes with the loss of a child. It leaves a special kind of imprint that never really goes away, just grows over a little bit, if you're lucky, but it's always still there. Joel's sure he sees it in you, that he recognizes your pain as his own and his heart breaks at the thought of it, of what he thinks you lost, of what he lost himself.

How can I ease your pain?

Will you let me ease your pain?

Joel watches you think again, trying hard to come up with something to tell him that won't reveal too much. He knows the look. He wore it himself for years, not letting anybody close enough to read between the lines.

"You know I had a kid?" Your head perks up and he can see your eyes growing wide in surprise, pupils large and dark.

"A daughter. Name's Sarah." He feels the sting in his chest that always comes out when he talks about her for the first time. It pierces his heart with the same relentless white hot pain, but his flesh is used to it and has adapted over the years. A thick lining of tissue has grown around the spot where the dagger pierces through his skin every time he opens his wound anew. It never truly heals, never hurts any less. It does, however, take less time for the pain to subside now.

Joel takes a few deep breaths as he waits for the pain in his chest to die down. He feels your eyes still trained on him and watching him closely.

"She died the day of the outbreak. A soldier... shot her." He has to press the words out so they don't get stuck in his throat and suffocate him.

A twig snaps and bursts and sends up a shower of sparks into the cold dark air. Joel stares into the fire and waits for the pain to subside as another dagger pierces his chest.

It takes a while for his words to sink in. They bob around of the surface of your consciousness, like paper ships freshly put on water. You watch as they slowly grow heavier and begin to sink, the full weight of his words hitting you more with each word that fills up and eventually sinks to the ground of your mind where you finally grasp their meaning.

He lost a child.

Suddenly it all makes sense.

The way he sometimes looks at you with a sense of understanding that you've never been able to place before.

The way he took care of you on the day of your outburst, no questions asked.

You and her, you got the same kind of twitchy. Tommy's voice echoes in your skull and your vision blurs.

You realize you're crying.

The tears spill out of your eyes before you can stop them, a testament of your own pain, understood in the most horrible way.

You cross the fire in two big strides and fall to your knees in front of Joel where you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder.

You hold him tight, hands digging into his jacket in an effort to pull him as close as possible, while your tears soak into his shoulder. And then his arms wrap around you in return, holding you with the same feverish intensity that you're holding him with.

"I am so, so sorry," you whisper against his jacket when your tears have dried up enough for you to speak. His answer comes in the form of a kiss on the top of your head, and despite the situation, a shower of warmth rains down your spine from where his lips met your hair.

"I wish I could've met her."

"I wish you could've met her too."

The longer you keep holding on to each other, the more the tenseness leaves your body. The pain lingers, a dull throbbing sensation in your chest that is just all too familiar, but your muscles slowly loosen and you begin to melt into his embrace.

It feels almost shameful, finding pleasure in something that was born out of something so gruesome.

Joel detects the way you slowly wind down and allows himself to run a thumb over your back in small circles.

He holds you and is held back in the dancing light of the fire under the stars until the fire burns down and wishes this would never end.

Maybe he's been through enough. Maybe he's finally endured enough pain for a lifetime, because for once, the universe grants him his wish, and it doesn't end.

When he feels you snaking out of his embrace, his heart drops, his body already missing your touch where it pressed against him, but before he can mourn the moment, you're extending a hand to him.

You lead him into the tent, and his head is spinning, swimming with possibilities that seem too faint and outrageous to even reach before you open up one of the sleeping bags and slip inside, motioning for him to join you.

It takes a moment, but eventually, your sleeping bags are joined up into one large one. Joel's a broad man and sleeping bags are a tight fit on him as is, but with you pressed against his side, he could be getting strangled to death for all he cares.

You settle against him with your head on his shoulder and one arm wrapped around his belly and Joel feels like he's dreaming. He has half a mind to voice his concerns - "What about taking watch?" - but then your finger touches his lips and he ascends to heaven, the first man to be alive and knocking on heaven's door at the same time. "Not a single soul around all day. We're good," you whisper and lay your hand against Joel's cheek, where you draw the same slow circles he drew on your back earlier.

Maybe Tommy's right, is the last thing Joel thinks before he falls asleep. Maybe there's no shame in falling in love.

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[ksnfangz]

EPISODE ONE — FATE | PROLOGUE

New year, Same Crush, Same friends, Same Grades, and what’s this? A new handsome face!

Y/n L/n was well known for her bright and bubbly personality, the cheerful girl always smiling and jumping around throughout the school day despite her low scores, and the mean comments made by her classmates about her loudness or existence within their school.

She is also known for her very obvious crush on the school's golden boy Yang Jungwon. The girl does little to nothing to hide the fact that she likes said boy. Even mustering up the courage to confess during their freshman year.

" Jungwonie ~ I like you." you smiled voice pitched a bit higher than usual, eyes shimmering under the bright sunlight. A simple " I am not interested." is all you received in response as the boy walked away leaving you to sweep by yourself.

However, the rejection didn't at all phase Y/n. You were a determined woman and you wouldn't let Jungwon's rejection stop you from crushing– it had become a part of your daily life at this point.

So here you are a year later and still as in love as you were a year prior. Only now you and Jungwon were part of the same friend group. Thanks to your best friend Sunghoon who had become good friends with Jungwon over the Summer. And the final cherry on top was that Jungwon sat at the desk to your right so you could stare at him freely without being called out by their teacher or straining your neck... again.

" Y/nnie~ Guess what! your best friend is going to be one of the top idols in Korea soon." Sunghoon brags sitting himself in the seat to your left. The male had been your best friend since kindergarten so now you were stuck dealing with his randomness forever.

" Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." you reply eyes never leaving the boy sitting to your right. Smiling as you watch him write down notes from his textbook. No wonder he's at the top of the class, he never stops studying.

" Hey you may doubt me now but I know about 10 companies that would beg to have a face like mine under their label." Sunghoon is about to continue his rant when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

Kim Sunoo.

Kim Sunoo was pretty cute for a guy, very smart, sometimes mean and a bit scary but that just made Sunghoon even more interested. How could someone with the face of a baby be so tough and outspoken?

" Sunghoon hyung you're in my seat!" the boy claims foxlike eyes staring into Sunghoon's widening round ones.

" Oh yes! sorry." The park boy apologizes before moving to the desk behind Sunoo. " Thank you!" the boy said sending Sunghoon one of his usual bright smiles as he sat down in his newly acquired seat. There were no assigned seats but Sunoo knew he wanted to sit beside you this year to make sure he could help you if necessary and because you were a pleasure to be around.

" Yah Kim Sunoo your hair! it looks great, I am jealous." Y/n whines playful pout resting upon her lips as she admires the boy's dark red hair. " Wonyoung dyed hers blonde! I’ve heard that's Jungwon a type." Sunoo whispers. Y/n sighed she had been wanting to dye her hair for ages but her mother would kill her if she ever put color anywhere near her hair. People like Sunoo and Wonyoung were very lucky. Y/n watches as said girl talks to Jungwon with her doll-like smile and flowing blonde locks.

" Do you think I would look good blonde?" The girl asks looking back at Sunghoon. "Of course not!" earning an eye roll from y/n and a smack on the arm from Sunoo that leaves him softly rubbing at the area. “ow.”

" You'd look beautiful with any hair color y/n don't let this fool give you any advice. He once got bleach and dye mixed up and almost went bald!" Sunoo laughs.

" I'm starting to think all the bleach went to his brain." Sunoo adds grabbing his notebook from his book bag.

" Hey! My scores are pretty good in my opinion." Sunghoon argues. " Doing good on the exam is one thing but remembering the information is another Hoon." Sunoo replies.

“ yeah well, I don’t see you offering tutoring sunshine.”

“ as if I’d waste my time tutoring you.”

" Will you two quit flirting in front of me please it's disgusting." Y/n sighs turning her attention back to the cat-eyed boy in front of her. Completely missing the way both of her friend's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

" Yeah well, why don't you wipe the drool off of your lip and pay attention for once?"

" Yang Jungwon is far more entertaining than whatever Mr.Lee is teaching." Y/n responds her smile growing as she rests her chin in her hands. Of course, you should be paying attention to the lesson since your English grade was a bit low for your parents liking but you’d rather spend your time studying jungwons face than studying the English language.

" Y/n L/n."

The girl snaps out of her trance eyes widening. All eyes shifted towards her. "Please come write the sentence that Wonyoung Just read!" Mr.Les says gesturing towards the freshly wiped chalkboard. Slowly standing from her seat y/n timidly makes her way to the board.

I lost everything, I became a monster that can't die, but now I know what I have to do, Follow the blood token...

The girl freezes what was the last word again she thinks to herself trying to recite the poem in her head again,

how do you even spell that word is it an F or Ph....

English is stupid.

"Fate," says an unfamiliar voice. The chalk is removed from her hands as the unfamiliar male finishes the sentence. Y/n looks up at the boy silently thanking him with her eyes. The boy smiles before turning to face the class.

" he's handsome" "Is he the new transfer from Japan?" " how's he so tall?" I heard he's good at basketball... even better than Lee Heeseung " "No one is better than Lee Heeseung"

" Everyone let's quiet down and give our new student a chance to introduce himself. Y/n you may return to your seat." Mr.Lee says. the girl quickly made her way back to her desk dusting the chalk off of her hands.

" Hello everyone my name is Nishimura Riki, you can all call me Ni-ki, I'm from Japan, and I like sports." The male— Ni-ki informs, the class once again breaking out into small conversations as the male walks to the only empty seat which happens to be right behind y/n.

The boy softly tapping the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "Fate," the boy says once again, showing the word engraved cover of his journal. " Guess I got lucky." he smiles earning a small chuckle from the girl. Completely unaware of the pair of eyes that were lingering on the two.

A/N ; short first chapter i’ll try to make the next ones longer! I just wanted to get the introduction out of the way. Please let me know if you see and spelling errors, or the name soojin anywhere this was originally an x OC! || next update may take a while i just go a surgery done and the medicine makes me very sleepy

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©KSNFANGZ. please do not plagiarise, repost, copy or translate any of my works without permission!

[myspacebrat]

Gonna make you wonder why you even try. (hard times series)

part one masterlist

Roommate!eddie munson x Roommate fem!reader (established friendship)

summary: after getting your electricity and water shut off, you and your roommate are desperate for money, so desperate that you’re willing to have sex with each other on camera, but will your 10+ year friendship be able to with stand all the drama that comes a long with shooting a porno?

⚠️warnings: eventual smut, 18+ mdni, financial hardships, angst, use of the nickname ‘mini’ no use of y/n, unwanted pining, eventual best friends to lovers, mentions of porn, kinda mean!eddie, mentions of bullying, mentions of reader being called slurs but none specific, mentions of sex.

note: I am so sorry, this took longer than expected! I kind of hate the way I ended this but don’t worry I am going to start on pt three as soon as this is posted (remember to tip your writers with a comment & reblog)

wc: 5.5k

It’s the night you and Eddie have been dreading, Hawkins high's class of 86’ reunion. 

Let’s just say you and Eddie weren’t the most popular, actually the complete opposite. 

You were constantly bullied and harassed by your peers, specifically the jocks and cheerleaders. 

You and Eddie played dungeons and dragons, listened to “odd” music and while Eddie dressed in band tees, ripped jeans, leather and band patched denim, you wore whatever hammy downs you acquired from your older cousin, who was a boy. 

You can imagine the slurs a girl would be called that dressed in boy's clothing, but it was all you had and at that time you didn’t know yourself well enough to even care or to throw a fuss about it. You knew you weren’t what they called you so you let it roll off your back, most of the time. 

Tonight you were going to dress to impress, no oversized flannels, big T shirts and baggy jeans. No, tonight you were going to be the center of attention. 

You were finally going to catch the eye of Jason Carver. He was Hawkins highs resident golden boy and your high school crush, okay sure also your biggest bully but you didn’t care, you’d daydream about a time when you and Jason were out of high school, you’d run into each other in a grocery store or coffee shop and he’d tell you how beautiful you’ve gotten, you’d exchange numbers and eventually get married and have kids. 

Yes, a big stretch but a girl can dream. 

Eddie knew about your little crush, there was nothing you didn’t know about each other since you two had become friends. 

He had no room to make fun though as he had an ever growing infatuation with The queen of Hawkins high, Chrissy Cunningham who also happened to be Jason’s girlfriend. 

It was a fucked up situation you could definitely admit that now, but you’ve since heard they are no longer together as far as you know Jason left to NYU while Chrissy left for Berkeley. 

There is a possibility he’d met a girl in college but you were trying to stay positive. 

This was your chance to make that day dream you fantasized about your whole high school career come true and since these weird feelings you’ve been harboring recently for your best friend were beginning to deepen everyday, you needed to make your move and fast. 

“I don’t know how I can be of much help, Min,” Eddie said as he sat on your wrinkled duvet, arms crossed over his chest. “Maybe you should call ya know, a girl?” He chuckled, bringing his left shin to cross over his knee. 

“Oh come on, you’re my best friend and I really need a guy's perspective here, please?” You turn away from the mirror, putting the two dress options you were holding up to your body, to drape over your desk chair. Batting your long lashes with a slight pout to your lips, you begged. 

 “please, Eddie?” His eyes widened a bit at your plea, he scans over your face for what seemed like minutes before he looked down at his Reebok shoe that was still crossed over his knee, it must’ve fallen asleep because he was now bringing it back down to the floor, bouncing it up and down as if he was an anxious mess.

 “Fine, let’s see em” He says in a defeated tone. 

“Yay, okay close your eyes so I can try on the first one.” You eagerly say as you clap your hands together. 

Eddie rolls his eyes before dramatically covering them with both hands. 

The first one was a black mini tube dress. It was hard to maneuver over your hot curlers that were sitting in your hair, but once you finally got it on you turned to look in the mirror. The dress showed off lots of skin but that was the point, you felt hot and confident and that’s what you needed to be tonight. 

“Okay, open.” You squeak, turning around to face your best friend. His eyes almost pop out of his head as they scan over your body, you begin to feel self conscious under his lingering gaze.  

Eddie never looked at you like this but you also never wore stuff this revealing so.. the air in the room was new, an almost awkward energy coursed between you two, one you never wanted to feel again. 

“Um, yeah that’s um, that one’s nice.” He says as he gives you a weak nod of his head. 

“You sure it’s not too much?” You ask, rubbing the fabric over your thighs making Eddie’s eyes shift down to your moving hands. “I mean, it shows a lot of skin if that’s what you mean?” He chuckles before his eyes flicker back to yours. 

“Okay,” you say before grabbing the lower hem of the dress and pulling it up, exposing your panties and torso, before you could lift the dress any higher, realization set in; 

“whoaaa” Eddie shouts before slapping his hand over his eyes for a second time.

 “Shit! I forgot to tell you to close your eyes, oh my god!” You squeak in embarrassment. 

Eddie chuckles at your high pitched whine “I didn’t see much,” he smirked. 

“Wow, thanks!” You sarcastically yell at him while throwing the dress that was just adorning your body at his covered face, it drops down onto his lap, he grabs it with his other hand holding it there while his thumb rubs over the fabric.

 “No, not like that. I just didn’t get a chance to see much,” he shrugged. “Oh, nice granny panties by the way.” He cackled

 “Eddie! You asshole, You know we can’t do laundry, all I have are my bigger panties left!” You gasp in embarrassment. 

The panties in question weren’t that bad, a pale pink with a little rose on the front. Very different from the dental floss you usually wore. 

You would’ve been mortified had Eddie seen you in some skimpy little lace g-string. 

You slip the red silky fabric over your head, fixing the front area to fit over your boobs, so they’re equal parts exposed but not too much. 

Before even having to ask Eddie for his opinion, you already knew this was the one. 

A red silky strapless dress, the front was low cut showing off your assets and very nicely, might I add. The hem reached mid thigh. You would’ve never been able to wear something like this to school without being sent to the principal's office. 

“Open” you sing-song, before putting your hands on your hips in an attempt at posing.

“Damn” Eddie whispered under his breath as he took you in. It made your whole body heat up, you felt your belly fizzle like you had just downed a cold can of Mountain Dew. 

This was all so foreign and new, these reactions you were receiving from Eddie. 

Most of the time when you’d ask him how you looked, he’d take his eyes off what he was doing for a second barely even glancing your way before huffing out a “you look nice.” His attention going back on what he was doing. 

You’ve never had him look at a loss for words or like he may have thought of you in a way that was less than friendly.

“That- mm that’s the one.” He says as he clears his throat.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get ready now.” He says, not even turning to look at you again, eyes set on the floor as he walks out of your room and into the hallway. 

The ride to your former high school was one of the quietest rides you and Eddie have ever had together, aside from the music that was blaring through the speakers. 

Eddie always played his music in the van loud, but he also always made it a point to turn it down when a thought would enter his mind, and since you’re on your way to go mingle with your old classmates that caused you both hell, you would think Eddie would have a ton to say, but instead he kept his eyes on the road, a tight grip on the steering wheel and every time you’d glance at him his jaw would clench.

You wanted to ask if everything was okay, but you also didn’t want to be the first to break the ice. 

He had been weird with you after he left your room and you weren’t going to grovel at his feet to see what you did wrong. 

It hurt that he didn’t even ask your opinion on his outfit which he usually always did before an event or one of his shows. That didn’t stop him from looking extremely fucking good tonight, which just made you mad.

Eddie had on his usual black jeans, a black button up that was only buttoned below his chest, his tattoo piece on full display for everyone, he even did his hair by blow drying it instead of his usual air dry method. On his feet were his doc martens he only pulled out on special occasions and to top it all off he had that stupid dangly earring in one of his lobes, he looked damn good and he knew it. 

Being back on your old stomping grounds was bittersweet, as much as you hated it and couldn’t wait to get the fuck out, you also remember all the really good times you had, most of them being with your best friend. 

You and Eddie walk into the auditorium that has been decorated to the nines in purple and silver streamers. 

The theme was “disco night”, which resulted in disco balls being hung from almost every corner. 

First, you both had to sign in and confirm your names were on the list before you could enter. 

The line had a couple people ahead of you and every time you got a glimpse of the woman sitting behind the desk, you wondered who she was, her face was vaguely familiar but you just couldn’t put your finger on it. 

Finally you walk up to the mystery woman, her strawberry blonde hair curled away from her face in an almost 70s’ Farrah Fawcet esk way, her blue eyes widened when they fell on you and Eddie. 

“Oh my gosh,” she giggles “Eddie and Mini, right?” You nod in confusion while the man to the right of you chirps “wow, Chrissy! Look at you!” He says with a bemused tone. 

She looks down while her cheeks turn three shades of pink. You want to roll your eyes and tell her to let you in and away from Eddie’s obvious flirting, but you don’t wanna be rude and make Eddie even more distant than he’s being. 

“If you two could just find your name and sign on this side,” She points to the blank spaces that haven’t been filled under the ‘sign in’ section—

“Then you can be on your way.” She giggles again while looking at Eddie.

You sign first before passing the clipboard over. You decide to just walk in without him, but you don’t miss him asking Chrissy if he’ll “see her in there?” Which makes you roll your eyes for a second time as you stick your tongue out in disgust. 

You’ve never been jealous or hurt when Eddie talked to other girls. Let's be honest, the man was a whore. He has had many relationships and “booty calls” since you’ve been friends, and you’ve always encouraged him in his rendezvous but something has shifted within you and it leaves an empty feeling in your stomach. You’ve never been able to not tell Eddie what’s bothering you, but this is something that you can never let him know and that kills you. 

You grab some punch before making your way to an empty round table, you didn’t feel like mingling just yet. 

As you take another sip of the red liquid a hand pats you on the back, you turn around to see Eddie with a cocky smirk on his face, you already knew what that look was about and normally you would make some smart comment and ask him why he's smiling like that, but you just can’t tonight.  

Instead he tells you anyway. “Can you believe Chrissy Cunningham was flirting with me?” He chuckles “I think she wants me, man” he says as he takes your cup and downs the rest of it—

“Hey!” You mewl before snatching your cup from his hand and stalking away for a refill. 

You make your way to the refreshments table, pour punch in the same clear plastic cup but instead of going to sit back down with Eddie, you scan the room. 

You notice a familiar silhouette in the distance, the blonde locks you’d spend hours fantasizing about touching, your feet move before you can give it much thought. 

“Hey.” You interject as you tap Jason on the shoulder to gain his attention. 

“Uh hi-” the look of confusion written all over his face, that was still very much as handsome as it was in high school, his hair a little longer as he shifted uncomfortably in his navy blue suit and tie. 

“Um, you probably don’t remember me” you said with a wave of your hand and playful roll of your eyes. 

Your cheeks couldn’t hide your embarrassment, as you grinned awkwardly. 

“Oh, Mini, right?” He mused with a snap of his fingers. 

“Yup, in the flesh.” You chuckle lamely

“How’ve you been, hot shot?” You continue trying to regain your composure as you throw in your best flirty timbre 

He chuckles back before continuing “I’ve been great actually, life’s been treating me pretty good.” His smile was so genuine you couldn’t not smile with him

“That’s great to hear.” You nod while the smile never falters 

“How about you? I mean wow look at you, you’ve really grown up.” He glances over you and your body, a little too quick for your liking. 

“I’ve been good, ya know as good as it gets while still being in Hawkins.” You playfully grab his arm as you giggle. 

“But me? Wow, look at you.” You continued to bat your lashes with a sly grin.

“You look even better than you did in high school.” Your eyes travel up to his blonde quaff of hair and all the way down to his shiny black dress shoes. 

Before you can say another word, a man you are sure you’ve never seen before comes up behind Jason. 

You don’t miss the way he puts his arm around Jason’s waist and whispers something in his ear, making him snicker. 

“Oh um, mini this is my boyfriend, David.” He gestures to him by grabbing his shoulder from behind his back, tightening his grip on the man. 

“David, this is Mini, we went well-.. here together.” He laughs as he gestures to the auditorium

“Nice to meet you Mini, is that short for something?” He questioned. 

You tried your best to hide your surprise and disappointment, it all felt like too much information at once. 

“Oh, um no,” you softly reply as you tell him your real name. 

“It was a nickname I got for being short.” You tried your best to laugh with them but you needed to get away from this. 

“I'm sorry it was so nice meeting you David and good seeing you Jason, but I have to find the ladies room.” You informed before awkwardly excusing yourself, you didn’t miss the faint nice seeing you too, before your eyes began to water. 

You felt like a complete idiot, but you were glad you found out he wasn’t interested in you before you made an even bigger fool out of yourself. 

You were disappointed your high school fantasy would never come to fruition but in a way you were happy for Jason, living his truth and not caring enough to bring his boyfriend with him to his reunion, a very drastic change from the Jason you once knew. Good for him. 

You slipped out of the auditorium to the familiar corridor, everything exactly how it used to be.  

The same tiger painted on the wall, the same banners and fliers of future events. The whole thing brought on a nostalgia you never thought you’d miss. 

You made your way further down the hall. clearly lying about needing the ladies room, you were really on a mission to find Eddie who was nowhere to be seen. 

As you continued walking you could hear two whispering voices coming from an open classroom, curiosity got the best of you as you peaked your head in to see who it was, the class was dark aside from a small lamp that sat on the teachers desk, but you could make out Eddie’s back almost anywhere, the way his perfect waves hit his shoulders and his whisper was distinct now that you’ve gotten closer. 

“You sure you want to do this here?” Eddie muttered to the girl you could only assume was none other than Chrissy fucking Cunningham. “Yes Eddie, just kiss me.” She whispers. 

You hear the sloppy smack of their lips before you could get out of ear shot. 

For a second time tonight tears were pleading to escape, but you knew you had no reason to be sad and angry, you and Eddie were FRIENDS, best friends at that, nothing more. 

You assume the non rejection, rejection from Jason is what has you feeling so down. Eddie owes you nothing, he can kiss and fuck whoever he wants. If Jason showed any interest tonight, you would’ve done the same thing. 

So you wipe your eyes and walk out of the exit door and into the fresh night air, the crickets chirp as you take small steps to the bleachers. The stars shine brighter than usual over Hawkins tonight, you scoff at the idea of it being in your favor. 

As you walk up the side steps to the bleachers you realize you weren’t alone in your idea of needing some fresh air from inside’s festivities. 

“Robin?” You burst as you clock the familiar face of someone you wouldn’t actually mind talking to at this very moment. 

“Oh my god, mini?” She quickly removes her beat up sneakers from the stand, dropping them harshly onto the floor, before standing and making her way over to you. 

She’s dressed in brown corduroy overalls over a white shirt. Her hair was best described as a long pixie cut, it accentuated her face perfectly. 

You hadn’t heard from Robin since she left for art school in Chicago, her and Steve made the move together and never looked back. You didn’t blame them. 

“You look great! Wow, I’m- wow!” Her eyes widened as she took you all in, you were slowly getting used to the reaction to your major transformation. 

“Thank you, yeah a lot has changed since high school, I mean look at you, this hair cut was made for you.” You beam up at her as you take a seat, bringing your black strappy heels up to rest on the the stand in front of you, assuming the same position Robin was in before you interrupted her. 

She takes a seat next to you, you can feel her eyes lingering on your side profile as you stare up at the stars. “Something happen in there?” She asks as she brings her shoulder to softly bump yours. 

“Eh, ya know, same old high school bullshit.” You both laugh knowingly, “so how’ve you been?” You ask.

“I’ve been okay, going through a break up so it’s been a little tough, but I’m getting through it.” The smile she gives doesn't reach her eyes, it has a lot of sadness behind it and you can’t help but to feel for her. 

“I’m sorry, Rob. That fucking sucks! But hey, if you ever want someone to hang out with or talk to, I’m always here, I always have been.” Your genuine smile and words make Robin's face flash with guilt. 

“I know, and I’m sorry I haven’t done much to keep in touch. I met her as soon as we moved to Chicago so I kind of spent all my time and energy on her and the relationship. She was my first girlfriend so I guess I lost sight of everyone else.” She wistfully says. 

“I totally understand, I’m not upset or anything, I know life gets in the way. I just wanted to let you know I’m here.” You smile as you grab for her hand that’s gripping the edge of the aluminum bench. 

You decide it was best to change the subject, “so how’s Steve?” Your hand is still clutching robins, until she shifts her body to look at you, knees kissing ever so slightly. 

“He’s good,” she says as she scratches at her arm before letting both fall into her lap. Your hands now clutching each elbow as you read the smile Rob gives you, like she wants to tell you so much but doesn’t know if it’s a good idea. 

“He’s actually here, I brought him as my date” she says as she puts air quotes around the word date. 

“Oh really? I didn’t see him.” You rejoin as you begin rubbing at your arms to combat the breeze that’s picked up. 

“You know him, he’s probably in there flirting with some poor girl.” You both chuckle at Steve’s expense. 

If Eddie was a whore back in high school then Steve was a tramp, they both used to go as far as making bets at parties to see how many numbers they could get or who could sleep with someone first. 

It was exhausting but at the time you didn’t really care about Eddie’s sexual nature, it didn’t bother you because it was something you and him rarely spoke about. 

Until you moved in with him, hearing him on multiple occasions jerking off, or him bringing girls back from the hideout. 

That’s when the weird feeling in your throat began, but you chalked it up to “who wants to hear their best friend engaging in any type of sex act?”

“I think I’m gonna go find Steve, if that’s okay?” You tell Robin before standing back up onto your heeled feet, she nods her head with a quick hum. 

“I hope I see you back in there, before I leave.” You say as you both give each other a side hug. 

But before you turn to leave she stops you, “oh hey, here’s my number just in case.” She gives you the torn receipt from some craft store in Chicago, her number written sloppily in red ink. “Thanks, it was nice seeing you Rob.” you give her one last smile before you finally turn to leave. “Nice seeing you too, Min.” She shouts back as you take your first step down the side stairs and back onto the concrete path, making your way back inside. 

Your heart rate picks up when you walk past the once opened classroom that is now closed. You continue making your way back into the auditorium, swallowing down the golf ball sized lump in your throat. You can’t feel like this, not for him. You continue to repeat that sentiment over and over again in your mind. 

Once you walk back into the gathering, you notice way more people have shown up. But you’re on the hunt for one person in particular and it was just your luck that he happened to be alone at the refreshments table, he seemed deep in thought like he was trying to decide between a chocolate chip cookie or a cupcake with the words class of 86’ written on them. 

“The cookie seems like the better choice.” You giggle, as you walk up behind him. His head whips around to see who the suggestion was coming from. 

“Oh, yeah definitely, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” He shoots you a cocky wink as he grabs for the baked good. 

“I’m Steve,” he says as he now turns to face you.

“I know who you are.” You scoff as you shake your head in amusement 

“Oh?” His eyes shoot up under his perfectly styled hair. Nobody would ever question why this man garnered the nickname “the hair” in high school.

“You don’t remember me?” You say with a pout of your lips, you lock your fingers together in front of you, the gesture pushes your boobs up more, Steve's gaze falls on them, before it continues to roam your body. 

“Mmm, I think I’d remember a pretty thing like you.” He says before taking a bite of his cookie, he licks his lips clean of any fallen crumbs before he steps closer to you. 

You were having far too much fun messing with him, “well that’s not true, cause if it was you’d remember me Stevie.” You chuckle as you watch the cogs go off in his brain, you and Eddie were the only ones allowed to call him Stevie, well so was Robin but she made a habit of just calling him dingus, which you had adopted on a few occasions. 

“Holy shit!” He gasps as his eyes do one more once over. “Mini?” He chuckles with you at the realization, “no fucking way?” He says as his head falls back in laughter, his cheeks and neck showcasing a splotchy red tinge, embarrassed that he didn’t recognize you but also that he was trying to get into your pants just a moment ago, oh who was he kidding? He was still going to try. 

“Yup” you say as you give a little spin, Steve swallows hard before he continues his praise “wow, mini you look fucking great.” He says before pulling you in by your waist for a tight hug. “Thanks, so do you!” You say as you look up at him, his hands still on your waist. 

“I’m- wow I can’t believe it’s you.” He whispers down to you, making you giggle again before shoving him playfully. “C’mon I wasn’t that bad.” You resume your stare up at him, god he looked better than ever. 

He’s also a porn star, whoa you’re talking to a porn star right now, you think to yourself before clearing your mind of those thoughts. He’s still your Stevie though, no matter what. 

“No, you weren’t bad at all, you just- I don’t know, look different. More mature, more confident.” He continues as he places one of your voluminous curls behind your ear. 

Oh he’s good. 

“Yeah? Well thank you.” You smile as your cheeks now hold a sweet dust of pink. 

“No need to thank me, beautiful.” He was laying it on thick, and to your bemusement it was working. 

“So, um how’s Chicago been treating you?” You ask as you try to put some room between you both. 

“Wanna go find a seat with me and we can catch up?” Steve suggests with a shy smile. 

“Yeah, sounds good.” You agree before he takes your hand and leads you to two empty seats at a rather crowded table. Nobody even bats an eye at the two of you before you’re plopping down on the cold orange chair, turning to better see and hear Steve over the bad 70’s disco that filled the room. 

“So Chicago?” You speak again, breaking Steve from his trance, he was looking at you like you were a cold drink on a hot summer day, it made you shift uncomfortably in your seat, you’ve never been good with lingering stares and intense eye contact. 

He clears his throat before he answers, “Chicago's nice, me and Rob have an apartment together. It’s been cool, more stuff to do and see in that city, I don’t know if I could ever move back to a small town like Hawkins after experiencing that.” He chuckles. “You should come visit sometime, I could show you all the sights.” He whispers as his eyebrows bounce up and down, suggestively. 

“Yeah, I’ll have to do that.” You say as you play with your hands nervously in your lap, all of this attention and flirting was making you flustered, totally forgetting about Eddie in the process. 

“So, I came across something the other day.” You begin as your heart rate spikes, you were even more nervous to broach the subject of Steve doing porn, but you were kind of desperate considering your electricity and water were still off and the apartment was becoming almost unbearable to live in. It was almost fate that Steve showed up in Hawkins after you found the tape at work and had the “brilliant” idea of possibly starring in one in order to pay the bills. 

“Oh yeah? And what was that?” He says as he places a hand on your crossed knee.

“Me and Eddie found one of your tapes while we were working,” you say as your eyes scan his face for any type of reaction to your words. 

“Oh?” He smiled mischievously. “Did you watch it?” 

“No, I actually didn't.” You retort as you continue “but I am curious to know how someone gets into that line of work?” Your eyebrows raise in question, no judgment in your face, just curiosity. 

“Why? Do you know someone who wants to do that?” His voice was charming yet curious. 

“Well, me and Eddie actua-” you start before you’re interrupted by a voice calling your name. 

You look over to see Eddie walking towards you, his eyes stuck on Steve’s hand that is still placed on your knee as he continues to gently rub your skin. 

“Mini? Where’d you go? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He says, making you roll your eyes but the action was not missed by Steve. 

“I’ve been here, where have you been?” You snap, a little harsher than you meant to. 

“I just told you, I was looking for you.” He snaps back, Steve could definitely tell there was trouble in friendship paradise but he wasn’t going to ask until he was alone with you, again. 

“Hey, Eddie, nice to see you too.” He cuts in with a wave of his hand, making Eddie’s harsh gaze shift towards him. 

“Hey man, sorry. Nice to see you, how’ve you been?” Eddie asks through gritted teeth, eyes returning to the hold Steve still had on your leg. 

What the fuck was his problem? 

“I’ve been good dude, how’ve you been?” Steve responds, he could clock Eddie’s jealousy a mile away, he smiled at the thought of riling him up more. 

“Hey, mini do you wanna go grab something to eat with me tomorrow before I head back home?” His eyes falling on you as he gently squeezes your leg. He could keep it there all night and you wouldn’t say a word, it’s the most action you’ve gotten in a while and being touched felt nice. 

“Sure, yeah I’d love that.” You respond before getting up to go anywhere else. Eddie’s energy was way off and it made you feel too uneasy to be next to. 

“I’ll let you both catch up, while I go to get a drink.” You suggest before shooting both men a quick smile, Steve hums before saying “I’ll get your number from Eddie, here.” You nod your head and turn on your heel, before walking back over to the table you’ve spent what seems like most of your time at. 

You glance around the room again. Chrissy catches your eye as she wiggles her hips to I wanna dance with somebody by Whitney Houston, alongside who you assume to be Jessica Carlson, another former cheerleader. She’s all smiles and giggles, the sight makes you clench your fists, you should be the happy giggly one, she got Jason in high school and now she’s gotten Eddie too, it was hard to not feel bitter towards her. 

You decide it’s best to lock those feelings away and carry on the people watching. Your eyes fall on the guy walking towards you, he’s wearing a hellfire shirt under his flannel. 

Your eyebrows furrow, as you try to rack your mind. “Oh my god, Jeff?” You beam. “Mini mouse? Whoa look at you!” The nickname made you scrunch your nose, in the cute way it used to. 

“You know I hate that.” You laugh before going in for a hug. “I know, but it’ll always be my nickname for you.” He smiles down at you. “Is Eddie here?” He asks before scanning the room, “yeah he’s sitting over there.” You nod with your head towards where Eddie and Steve are deep in conversation. 

“Where’s Grant?” You ask as Jeff turns back to look at you. “He had to work, couldn’t get the night off.” He says with disappointment. “Aw, that sucks!” You say as you cross your arms. 

Jeff and Grant live in Philadelphia, both getting full ride scholarships to Penn state after graduation, you were sad to see them go, but knew they were off to bigger and better things. What you didn’t know was that the guys begged Eddie to go with, throwing out plans to get an apartment and continue playing in the band together on weekends, he declined. His excuse was that he didn’t want to leave Wayne, but all the guys knew it was you he stayed in Hawkins for. 

Thank you for reading!

Part three coming soon…

*taglist*

If you have been removed it’s because you’re an ageless blog. I do not want interactions from minors so pls put your age on your blog!

@livsters @prettypeachsworld @akiratoro420 @samanthasgone @dylpickleblog @lightcommastix @little-wormwood @gaysludge @emxxblog @eddieslittlewh0re @sillypurplemurple @lovely-lynn-writes @tlclick73 @ajkamins @dilfs-lover @lolalanaie @aocxdx @ambthegamer @alanamarie @josephquinncore @bebe07011 @bambipowerblueaddition @marriedtoeddie @chopper-witch @dissociatinginfp @stairwaytozai @edsforehead @itsametaphorbriansblog @haylaansmi @thoughtsoftheantagonist @paranoidmunson @totalmesstm @parkerloveer @elesoteri @chloes-files @melhoran @lezzy-bennet @killer-joy3 @aysheashea @wolfiepirate @mmvnsons @sluggzillaa @thehuntresswolf @mommymilkerfanclub @mcueveryday @likeficsinthewnd @elvendria

[fiapartridge]

mack and graces first date !!

first date | m + g 🌷💌⭐️

macklin x hughes!sister

summary: mack and grace go on their first date!

fia's notes 💌: like i said in my other post, grace & mack spent like their entire first year of knowing each other just being friends so them being on their first date is kind of like a long time coming vibe sooo enjoy !

not proofread

The sun stretched its golden fingers across the landscape of Michigan’s lakeside as a gentle breeze whispered throughout the leaves of the towering oaks. Grace’s sunkissed nose was hidden behind a book as she sprawled herself out on a blue beach chair. Her long brown locks were tucked beneath a camo trucker hat, her back exposed to the light as Macklin smiled silently to himself, making his way over to the girl.

“Did you know that 1-in-4 girls are involved in entrepreneurship?” Grace asked, feeling Macklin sit down beside her. 

Macklin chuckled quietly. She always knew when he was around even when she wasn’t looking. “No, I didn’t.” Macklin reached for the sunscreen in her tote bag, opening the cap, and squeezing the thick liquid into his hands.

“I think I should go on Shark Tank. I really think I could get a deal done,” she said, mindlessly talking as he moved her hair to the side, working the sunscreen into her skin. 

“What’s your product, Teddy?” Macklin first called her ‘Teddy’ after hearing Brock Boeser call Quinn ‘Huggy Bear.’ She could remember that moment like it was written across the walls of her mind: “Can I call you Teddy?” he asked, his hands in her hair and hers playing with the rings on her fingers. 

“Why,” Grace laughed, turning her head to look up at him.

“‘Cause Quinn is Huggy Bear, so you can be Teddy Bear.”

She rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. “Except I’m not soft like him.”

“No,” Macklin grinned. “You’re the toughest around, Teddy.”

“How do you feel about a VR vacuum cleaner,” she suggested, flipping onto her back and shielding her eyes from the bright sun rays. 

“VR vacuum cleaner?” he smirked, shaking his head as he applied more sunscreen to the front of her body. His hands worked over her stomach as she stared up at him in awe. She never had to ask.

“Think about it: you’re sitting on the couch, you don’t want to get up and get the vacuum cleaner and clean the whole house, so you put on your VR headset and it connects to your vacuum, and you’re vacuuming from your spot on the couch!”

“Teddy—”

“Nope, nope. It’s gonna work, you gotta trust me, Mack. This is a billion dollar idea.” 

“Totally,” he chuckled before getting up from his spot behind her, grabbing her hands to pull her up with him. “Come on, let’s go.”

Grace furrowed her brows, closing her book and stuffing it in the tote bag she brought. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere.”

“Yes, said by every serial killer ever,” Grace rolled her eyes, huffing as she reluctantly followed him.

“I’m not gonna murder you, G.”

“Murderers never admit it to the victim, dumbass.”

He slung her tote bag over his shoulder as he held Grace’s hand in his, pulling her in the direction towards the lake house. “I’ll tell you if you go get dressed.”

She raised a brow, her eyes narrowing at the boy. “Are you not comfortable with what I’m wearing?” She wore a blue denim-patterned triangle bikini and a light sunburn on her freckled face.

“Trust me,” he inched closer. “I love what you’re wearing, but I don’t think the people at the flea market will.” Everytime he talked, Grace swore shocks ran up and down her spine. She could feel him on every piece of her. He just had that effect on people. Macklin Celebrini makes people feel special, and this past year, that’s all she’s ever felt with him—special

“The flea market?” she eyed him suspiciously. She hadn’t even known there was one in town that week.

He pushed her gently toward the house. “Come on, woman. Just get dressed; I’ll wait for you out here.”

She spun around, her hands colliding with his chest as her puppy dog eyes burned heart shaped rings into him. “Just one hint?”

Placing his hand on her bare hip, he ran his thumb over her tanned skin. “Our first date. Now will you please go. You’re really ruining my itinerary.”

“Your itinerary?” she laughed.

“Stop laughing and go,” he chuckled, pushing the girl away from him. God, she was gonna be the death of him.

Rows and rows of stalls littered the Michigan streets as Macklin held Grace’s hand, pulling her in every direction. By the twelfth stall, she was already holding a bouquet of white tulips and a soft cat plushy that looked exactly like Mittens, her Russian Blue back at home.

“I bet you’re glad I kidnapped you, huh?” Macklin smiled, swinging their hands back and forth between them.

“So you admit it,” she smirked, turning to him as they walked along the row of stalls, watching the couple pass by. “You kidnapped me.”

“It’s not kidnapping if I take you somewhere where you’re happy.”

“You will be surprised by how many kidnappings end up with the victim being happy and then, when they’re most vulnerable, they’re stabbed to death.”

Macklin shook his head, dragging Grace along. “You’ve gotta stop watching true crime documentaries.”

“But what if a hot guy tries to seduce me and I end up killed?”

He squeezed her hand, bumping his shoulder with hers. “I’m not gonna let any hot guy seduce you unless it’s me.”

Just before Grace could trip over her own two feet and melt into a blushy puddle right on the asphalt beneath them, a worker in one of the stalls called out to them. “You! The couple!” she pointed as Grace and Macklin looked at each other, silently asking if they should go or not.

Despite the hesitation, the couple made their way over to the older woman who was adorned with crystal jewelry and an eclectic mismatched quilt skirt. She sported black round glasses and curly gray hair—totally dyed for the effect.

The woman, her eyes sparkling with ancient wisdom behind her round glasses, leaned forward with a mischievous grin playing on her lips. "Well, well, well," she murmured. "What do we have here?"

Grace shifted uncomfortably, her fingers nervously intertwining with Macklin's as they both gazed at the array of cards spread out before them.

The reader's gaze flickered between them, as if she could see right through them. "A couple in the making, are we?" she mused, her tone light yet knowing.

Macklin chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh, not exactly," he replied, shooting a quick glance at Grace, who blushed furiously in response.

Grace cleared her throat, mustering up her courage. "We're, uh, sort of testing the waters. This is our first date," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

The tarot card reader raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Ah, the dance of courtship," she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement. "Well, let's see what the cards have to say about your little...experiment, shall we?"

With a flourish, she began to flip over the cards, each one revealing a glimpse into their future.

As The Lovers card appeared, the reader's eyes twinkled with delight. "A powerful connection," she murmured, her voice filled with certainty. "The kind that transcends time and space."

Grace felt a flutter in her chest, her gaze meeting Macklin's with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. His lips quirked up for a moment, a hope deep inside of him wishing that this was real and not just some superstitious, otherworldly money grab.

Next came the Ace of Cups, its image shimmering with promise. "New beginnings," the reader whispered, her voice tinged with reverence. "A love that knows no bounds."

Macklin squeezed Grace's hand, not daring to look at her. He was as red as a tomato, and this was their first date. He was sure she was scared off by now, but Grace felt a sort of warmth spread through her chest. She didn’t care if this was real or fake; she liked hope.

Finally, as The Ten of Cups appeared, the reader let out a soft chuckle. "Happiness," she declared, her words carrying the weight of prophecy. "A lifetime of joy and fulfillment." The tarot card reader smiled, her eyes crinkling with age-old wisdom. "Hold tight, kids," she said, her voice a gentle whisper. “You’ve got a whole lot more dates ahead of you.”