#all my stories are 'i got drunk & talked to or didnt talk to some person & then nothing actually happened but i was hungover the next day'

[drdemonprince]

I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.

growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.

My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.

My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.

I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).

I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.

I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.

[genshinfanboy]

His childhood friend

|Hello everyone who sees this. I'm finally back kinda my writings this is not the work in progress I mentioned before that one is still a wip. I will still be slow but that's no surprise to those who follow me. This will be a childhood friends au. The reader isn't the traveler. Anyways feel free to change the pronouns to fit your own. Please enjoy and have a wonderful day or night.

Scenario: He was typically alone in his youth very few he'd actually call friends. Though you were always there beside him. If anyone dared to say anything bad about him with you around you'd always come to defend him. He didnt care what was said about him but knowing you were there was endearing to him. As you both grew up he developed a bit of a crush on you. How could he not become enamored by you after all you were always there when he needed someone.

Alhaitham x A Male Reader

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, alcohol and being drunk in Alhaitham's, minor angst ending with comfort, some big and small spoilers for archon quests as well as character stories, and long|

Alhaitham:

It's not a surprise to many people to know the scribe wasn't liked by many people. He knew this as well and chose willingly to ignore the comments said behind his back. His senior Kaveh only seemed to add to them but he knew Kaveh wasnt a bad person. While he wasn't liked by many of his peers it didn't bother him much.

He didn't care about their opinions as they didn't matter much to him. Though he'd be lying if he said no one's opinions mattered to him. His long time friend's opinions mattered. More than he'd ever be willingly to admit out loud. They grew up together after all not many could blame his thoughts even if they did seem irrational. It seemed he wasn't the only person that had his eyes on this person. (Name) were objectively attractive and super kind.

He remembers fondly when they had met as he traversed home. The two met because (Name)'s parents were good friends with his grandmother. His grandmother was asked to watch the other for his parents who went on an expedition to the desert. The other wasn't considered a genius by the Akademiya standards unlike himself.

Though their differences in intelligence didn't seem to deter his dear (Name). In fact it seemed he wanted to be Alhaitham's friend even more due to that fact. He wanted to be there to support him or talk if needed. He knew the pressure put on those considered geniuses by the Akademiya. He would constantly ask what Alhaitham was reading and read it too. It'd take him more time to read the book but he was always excited to hear what scribe had thought.

He had a knack for caring for others. (Name) was gentle and caring. Whenever someone got injured hed tend to them best to his ablitlies. Alhaitham remembers back to his akademiya days where (eye colored) male would tend to Kaveh when his senior would get injured.

There were also others who'd intentionally fall in front of him to get his care. He was wildly popular kind of like Tighnari. The abount of people who would do things to get (Name)'s attention. The scribe sometimes wished he was clumsy to be treated by his best friend like others. Whenever he was sick the other would dote on him and he did enjoy it.

Whenever he was sick Alhaitham could feel his gentle hands check his temperatures. He both hated and loved being sick. On one hand he'd receive all of (Name)'s attention but on the other he'd feel awful. It wasn't like he was sick often. He took very good care of himself.

During his time in the akademiya the other could tell when he wasn't interested in interacting with others. (Name) would take any attention off of the scribe and put it on himself. That way Alhaitham could read in peace. It was nice to know someone cared about when he didn't wish to socialize.

The memories soon became a bit bitter for the scribe. His dear friend had been away in another nation for what felt like a long time. (Name) was an amurta scholar that left a year ago to learn about plans in Mondstadt. He only knew the other left when a letter arrived at his desk. During the time he was unable to leave while dealing with the grand sage situation.

Once it was resolved he still had to deal with being the acting grand sage. Which meant he had to deal with the hive mind situation. Not once did he get another letter. His roommate had made some comments about him being more irritated than normal. He brushed off what Kaveh had said of course. Though the architect was the only person who knew of his best friend. His words did have some merits to them.

Alhaitham was typically supportive of the other's academic endeavors however he left without a word in person this time. It hurt him quite a bit but none could tell. Things had finally calmed down for him and as irrational as it was he was super tempted to take a leave of absence and make the pointless travel to Mondstadt. He'd rather do nothing at all if he takes a leave of absence.

It was driving him mad not being able to see him for long. Alhaitham was used to seeing him at least once a day every day. Now it's been a year. The only thing he's gotten from the other was a gift that arrived on his birthday. Thinking on everything made his mood sour a bit.

The dendro user never thought someone could effect him to the point others notice a shift in his attitude. Which he was wrong about both Cyno and Tighnari had told him he seemed longing for something or rather someone. He rolled his eyes remembering the phrases they used. He turned his music up not wanting to hear anything around him.

Alhaitham's thoughts had become too disorganized for his preference. He brought out the book he'd be reading. He still paid attention to his surroundings effortlessly avoiding bumping into anyone or anything. He started to sort through his thoughts. Then something Kaveh had once mentioned became the loudest. "You know if you had just confessed your love he may have never left." Repeating itself in his mind.

(Name) certainly didn't expect to run into Kaveh when he returned to Sumeru. The young male couldn't say he was angry to run into the blond. His eyes quickly looked over the other. "You seem to be same as ever Kaveh. Why are you mopping around this time?" He asked with a smile. There were several comments about him being handsome and shining by those around them. He ignored everyone else and focused on the blond.

Kaveh's crimson eyes widened and he quickly rubbed them as if the person in front of him was an illusion. "You're finally back! Maybe now Alhaitham will finally get off my back a bit. You know since you left he's colder than ever. Not to mention the way you left him without a proper farewell had made his fuse so short. You really couldve parted in a better way. I heard he'd reject several thesis essays for minor errors the week you left." He quickly scolded forgetting about his previous stupor and worries.

The amurta scholar frowned and stepped closer. He pinched the others cheek slightly for talking poorly about his best friend. He always hated others speaking badly of Alhaitham even if the scribe could care less. "You need to stop being so hard on him. I swear your both like fire and ice sometimes. Yet both of you haven't convinced me you actually hate the other. You can't convince you both dont care. After all you both know too much about the others behaviors and moods. However since this past year has clearly been so hard on you how about I treat you to a meal at lambads? Then after I can walk you home and pay him a visit? I got him when i was leaving Mondstadt." He said patting his bag

Kaveh huffed at them a bit. "I keep telling you he's the worst but you never listen. You think that someone who has as much attention as Tighnari you'd find someone else to spend your time with. You know there are several people who requested me to give you their love letters. They all seemed to disappear before I could send them to you." He said rubbing his cheek. The two started walking to the tavern. Their conversations were pleasant and catching up on the past year. Several more passersby comments were made about the amurta scholar.

(Name) was used to hearing them and simply ignored them all. They've followed him since he was a child. They only bothered him when people would comment about Alhaitham. He remembered hearing several people making comments about him and (Name) got in a lot of arguments defending him constantly.

People would say that Alhaitham didnt care about him and that He didn't care and would continue doing it until his final breath. It's not his fault that people couldn't see the good traits of the tall scribe. He would argue with anyone who claimed that. They didn't know him and would just make assumptions about it.

During their outing at the tavern ended with Kaveh becoming intoxicated from the amount of drinks he had. Some wondered if they should contact Alhaitham to come collect him. (Name) reassured them he'd take the architect home amd there was no need to bother anyone else. He dragged Kaveh to the residence he lived in with the srcibe. "Kaveh please tell me you have your key." He said worried Alhaitham may have once again taken it by mistake.

Kaveh in his intoxicated state checked for his keys and realized he had them for once. He also reminded the other that he can't tell anyone of his living arrangements. He handed the amurta scholar his key not trusting his own coordination. (Name) was definitely surprised that the blond had remembered his keys. He unlocked the door and helped the older male inside. His eyes met with duel covered ones.

To most the eyes would seem uncaring as usual but there was definitely shock in them. He gave a smile to the scribe. "So you finally decide to come back and choose to dump a drunk Kaveh on me." The sliver haired male stated. The scribe had a bitterness in his tone. Which earned a laugh from the amurta scholar. "I plan on staying for a bit to catch up with you unless I'm no longer welcome here. If that's the case then I'll put kaveh in his room and leave." (Name) teased. He knew Alhaitham was upset with him but there was no hate in his tone.

Alhaitham admittedly got a little jealous watching the other carry Kaveh. The lighting in the house made him look perfect. The blond's arm around his neck and his arm around the other's waist. "Do as you wish. I know trying to convince you otherwise is pointless. After all you always do what you want. Just like all of those pointless fights you got into on my behalf. There is always the example of you leaving out of the blue despite promises we made." The silver haired male said looking up at the other holding his drunk roommate. There was definitely bitterness in his tone.

"Those fights were not pointless. They dared to slander you." He said. (Name) frowned he knew what the other had been talking about. When they were in their teen years he promised Alhaitham he'd always be by his side.

Alhaitham had graduated and their schedules grew hectic. They saw each other less and less especially while (Name) was working on getting through his studies. Alhaitham had made a comment about how maybe it'd be better if they stopped hanging out for a bit just like others had mentioned. Which seemed to upset the other who vowed that no matter what he'd stay by Alhaitham's side.

Even if it meant doing his assignments in the archive or next to him reading. He refused to give up on their friendship which admittedly warmed the scribes heart. There were a few occasions where the amurta student had fallen asleep when they were reading together due to pulling an all nighter to spend some more time with Alhaitham. (Name) promised he'd always be there for the scribe nothing would stop him.

He gave a sigh remembering the promise before taking Kaveh to his room so they could talk in private without Kaveh sulking over clients he's been dealing with. His guilt for his actions came up as they clearly effected his friend. He shook it off a bit then came back to the living room and noticed his long time friend had already marked his place in his book and closed it.

The silver haired male had his arms crossed seeing the other return. The look in his eyes was hard to read but if (Name) had to make a guess it would be anger and hurt. The room was silent and the mood was suffocating. The lights in the room suddenly became super interesting. Guilt building even more.

"Do you hate me for breaking our promise and leaving Sumeru?" He asked remaining standing. If the other said yes to his question he'd probably rush out knowing he messed up everything. He didn't want to sit anywhere near the other because he was understandably upset with him. "Without saying a proper farewell." The silver haired male added avoiding the question intentionally.

His duel colored eyes watching the other intensely as if waiting for something to happen. There was no sign of him going to respond to the other's question. Those multicolored eyes showing several emotions. Making guilt grow more. (Name) feared that his actions were mistakes.

"I couldn't say by to your face as I would've lost all will to go to Mondstadt. I thought of telling you in person but everytime I felt sick trying to think of the words to say. I needed to do it. I can't blame you if you now hate me or are upset with me. It's super hard for me to say no to you all it would take would be one word from you and my resolve would crumble in your hands. I know that doesn't excuse my actions and you deserve to have been........" as the amurta scholar started rambling he looked away from the other not able to keep eye contact anymore. His tone quiet and sad.

He skidishly made his way closer to the nearest wall. He leaned against it. He knew that he had no right feeling saddened bringing this up. If (Name) was being honest he may have avoided Alhaitham for a bit longer had he not ran into Kaveh. He looked at the entrance wondering if Alhaitham was going to be critical of his reasonings. He completely lost all the confidence he had when he brought Kaveh home.

Alhaitham stood up and walked over to the other. His body was reacting instinctually. He let it too. He felt as though his dear friend would run off the moment he said much. So just as his long time friend was about to continue his ramblings he caged the other between himself and the wall with arms to both sides of his head.

"Stop rambling and get to your point. What was so important exactly that you left for a year? Not only that but instead of telling me in person you choose to just leave a letter on my desk." He said pressing his body against the other's. His eyes met (eye colored) eyes. He was trying to get a read on the other's thoughts but the other was avoiding his stare. He placed one of his hands on the amurta scholars chin and forced him to look at him.

(Name) had no choice but to look into the duel colored eyed man. His heart was pounding in his chest he was worried at their proximity the scribe would feel it. "I wanted to look into something. It didn't have to be Mondstadt persay. Any other nation was fine. Mondstadt is just the one that was approved first so I went there. I was confused on a lot and needed to clear my head. I needed time to think things out. I sorted things out which is why I have returned." He answered still trying to look away to no avail. The scribe's hand keeping his face in place.

"You failed to take my feelings into account with all this. I would've been happy to aid you with what confused you. After all problems have multiple solutions. You never had a problem with me looking over things before or helping you talk through a problem before. Did you actually listen to what others said?" Alhaitham's voice started becoming quiet. His heart was heavy. His hand holding the other's chin fell to his side. He may needed to step away.

"Was leaving really necessary? It hurt that I meant so little that you couldn't tell me farewell in person. I found out after you already left that you were gone. Others had known about you leaving. You told Kaveh in person yet all I got was a letter only. Typically I take promises with a grain of salt. I thought your's meant something as youre not like everyone else." Alhaitham pressed looking at the other. He noticed their face had become red. He figured they must've drank a few drinks with Kaveh. The alchohol must've finally reacted in the amurta scholar's system.

Alhaitham's other arm dropped realizing this fact. He felt heart broken that (Name) couldn't have this conversation sober. His mind was racing with confusion and sadness. Maybe he should stop this conversation cause it seemed to hurt him more than the other leaving him.

He didn't wish to but pulled away. Here he was thinking irrationally again. Bothered about what others have said about their relationship. He was about to walk off but felt a hand around his wrist as if the other knew he was going walk off and not see him for awhile. His normally stoic expression changed for a moment. It revealed his frustration and anger about the situation at hand. "Let go of my wrist (Name). I dont want to talk anymore." He said. There wasnt enough will in him to pull his arm away forcefully.

"You were the one that was confusing me. Alhaitham it was never that you meant so little to me. You mean too much to me. If I saw you I wouldn't have been able to sorted things out and would've gave up on the entire thing. I've always been by your side and I wish to continue that. Which made it hard for me to figure out how or when my feelings towards you shifted from romantic. If it was a problem you could've solved I would've ran to you." (Name) admitted he held on to the other's wrist a bit tigher. As if letting go would cause the silver haired male to disappear from his sight. He was aware of his grip to not hurt the scribe's hand.

The guilt hit (Name) full force. His eyes started watering at the realization of what he did. However he refused to let go. He knew he should and everything he did was cruel and unfair to his dear akademiya genius.

The amurta scholar was super red and looking away trying to hide it along with his eyes. The room had become a suffocating silence again. The scribe looking at him with wide eyes. "How much did you end up drinking with Kaveh? It this some kind of joke you planned. After all you sound illogical. Leaving me to sort that out. What kind of answer did you come to? That you don't need to be by my side anymore? You get attention from everyone around no matter where you go. Why would I matter?" He said running his free hand through his hair.

Alhaitham was surprised his response made the other look at him finally. He saw the tears forming and got upset at himself. He shouldn't have lashed out like that. "I'm perfectly sober Alhaitham. I made sure I would be. I planned on bringing Kaveh home after I ran into him because it'd force me to come talk with you instead of being a coward and running away. After all confessing that I'm in love with you may make you hate me. Being away from you after years of seeing you all the time sucked." (Name) said.

He got a determined look before placing Alhaitham's hand he held hostage above his heart so the other could feel his heart racing. "Please answer my question. Did leaving make you hate me?" He pleaded refusing to feel sorry for himself as he was the one that did this and hurt his best friend. "I messed up and hurt you. If you do please tell me if I can make it up to you. Even if you don't return my feelings I don't want to lose you."

Alhaitham looked at him with wide eyes. He felt the racing heart beat his movements and speech were too clear for him to be drunk. "I do hate you for leaving me because I fell in love with you so many years ago. You make me think irrationally at times. However I can forgive you is you never do that to me again." He said before placing his free hand on the other's face. He gently wiped the tears away.

The amurta scholar tried pushing his hand away. "No I was the one who messed up and hurt you don't comfort me." He whined avoiding eye contact once again. "Then agree to be mine and never leave my side again and we can move past this. I need verbal confirmation." Alhaitham said pressing his forehead against the other's.

"I will always be yours. I'm sorry for everything this past year. I had got you something as well when I was in Mondstadt." (Name) stated. He opened his bag and brought out a neatly wrapped box. And a bottle of dandelion wine. Alhaitham took the items from his hands. He placed them on the table then leaned close kissing the other. "Stay the night." He said pulling away.

"It's so incredibly hard to say no to you." (Name) said pulling the scrib into a hug. The rest of the night went by as a blur. Alhaitham woke up the next day thinking it was a dream but felt something warm in his arms. He smiled faintly seeing his beloved (Name) asleep in his arms. He pulled them closer to his arms. There will be consequences if he tried another stunt he pulled a year ago.

[grzybjek]

for some reason i cant answer this ask directly BUT thank u user @honestlytastygayasstrash for the ask now get ready for the longest post ill ever write. I fucking love talking about my characters.

here they are. my scrimblos. :

Antek, token cis white man of the group: -ISFJ, he/him, age is around 18, listens to ABBA, Queen, Modern Talking, Manaam, Obywatel GC, Lady Pank and Depeche Mode.

(i think i wrote it on his ref sheet but he got his scar by simply tripping over a cupboard as a child. He doesnt tell anyone about this though and always comes up with different stories about how he got the scar. So some people think he got it by winning a bear fight or fighting a drunk old man)

-he is a fucking menace. and i mean it. most insane man on earth that always tries to grab others attention in the most dangerous and stupid ways imaginable. Also uses alcohol as his weapon to look and act more cool and always fails miserably. Hes also very noncommittal and always switches out the people that he talks to after a week, simply because he doesnt feel comfortable with anyone. But he still loves getting attention from others so he keeps getting into these relationships just to drop them later. Theres something different about Bianka and Gabriel though and thats why theyre friends. and I think his pinterest board explains his personality better than i ever will

and some fun facts! hes surprisingly good at cooking and is the only one in the group that knows how to drive a car.

if it comes to Bianka shes my favorite goth woman ever. Here is some info about her: -ENTJ, she/them, is around 17, listens to Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Myslovitz, Republika, Depeche Mode and The Cure.

-Obviously shes recognized mostly for her gothic makeup which I absolutely love drawing. And shes goth herself, and is even in a gothic punk band! The band members include her, as the bassist, Helena as the singer, Janek as the drummer and Antek used to play the keyboard before they kicked him out.

And this is how I imagine them:-) just two alt girls and just some guy. Love them

-Bianka is the most confident out of everyone in the group, even Antek who's all over the place. She knows when to stop talking unlike him though. However her being confident doesnt mean she likes being in the spotlight, in fact, she absolutely hates it. She hates that everyone is always listening to her and whenever she walks in the room all eyes are on her. So most of the times she just wants to hide and spends time in her little circle of friends, but if theres an emergency then shes the first one to intervene. She also has a very weird moral compass just like Helena so theyre best friends, obviously.

Literally her. A fun fact about her is that she has like four Siouxsie and the Banshees posters in her room and owns a golden retriver which I didnt name yet.

oh and i forgot to mention but Bianka has Chinese ancestors and has a lot of chinese facial features that I always fail to draw because I focus on her makeup too much.

The last one is Gabriel, miserable ginger guy whos also the main character of the plot and yet i know so little about him. Im still figuring out his personality honestly. Anyhow:

-ISFP, he/him, age 17, listens to Tame Impala, Gorillaz, The Strokes, MGMT, David Bowie, Dolly Parton and Depeche Mode. All three of them are Depeche Mode fans.

-As I mentioned I know very little about him. But I think hes more of watcher of the world around him than a member of it. He's mostly quiet because he cant figure out when its the best time to speak, unfortunately that also means he keeps his best jokes to himself. Hes also mostly dissociated from the world and tries to be an active member of it so bad that he always ends up doing stupid things or hurting himself in the process. I think its just safe to say hes still figuring out his place in the world, and because the world around him confuses him so much he holds onto safe memories most of the time. Thats why hes a photographer and likes catching all of the important moments of life on camera, its like a comforting feeling for him. Hes also very irrational and a people pleaser but i blame it on his undiagnosed AuDHD honestly.

questionable pinterest board explains his personality well too

-as hes the narrator of the story, its very important to mention hes a queer character. I avoided talking about the queernes of others characters on purpose, since its an important part of their story that i dont want to share yet but without any context ill just say that Gabriel is a trans man and bisexual!

as for fun facts he owns a cat named Felek, really likes green olives and lives with his grandparents. Antek also taught him how to drive a car but he never put that info in use.

AND HERE COMES MY FAVORITE PART!!!! ILL EXPLAIN THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN THEM ALL!!!

starting with Gabriel and Nastka, whom I didnt mention in this post as shes just a side character, its important to know that these two are childhood friends. Theyre not that close anymore, their relationship disappeared as time went on, but they both keep each other in their memories and think about each other a lot. They both nicknamed each other after Dead Poets Society characters too, so Nastka never calls Gabriel by his name, but Todd. Theyre also neighbours and share a balcony. Sometimes they meet there as theyre hanging up clothes to dry and just exchange smiles.

The relationship between Gabriel and Antek is more complicated. They met on a party once and never got to know each other better, but couldnt stop thinking about each other. Gabriel just knows about Antek from Bianka's stories and vice versa, and whenever they meet everyone thinks theyre best friends because of how well they can get along without even knowing a thing about themselves. They always end up dancing together on parties, going on walks at night and talking about their favorite books somewhere in the corner, having deep conversations about their views of life but they never ask each other personal questions and if you ask one of them to say whats their favorite color, they wouldnt know. I like to think the universe never gave them a chance to know each other better because if it did theyd be too powerful together. Maybe if they got to know each other better theyd be more than friends.

Bianka and Anteks relationship is pretty similar to the relationship between Gabriel and Nastka. Theyre also childhood best friends and first met each other in the counselors office in 6th grade as Bianka tried to beat someone up for being mean to Antek, a guy she didnt even know yet. She just needed an excuse to get in a fight with some boys that she didnt like and somehow made a best friend ten minutes later. Since then theyve been on and off, sometimes splitting up for months at a time and going back to each other to spill everything theyve learned while they were away. They always find support in each other even if they cant understand each other that well and are total opposites. Somehow Bianka always finds a way to cheer up Antek, even if shes the one to make him feel bad in the first place.

Antek was the first one to suggest they should make a band, and they tried several times until they ended up with Helena and Janek which I previously mentioned.

And the last one, Bianka and Gabriels dynamic..... its very cute actually. Bianka is the first person to show Gabriel the world around him and introduce him to new possibilities. She showed him goth dance moves and helped him find his taste in music. They met in high school as they sat together in math class and if not Bianka being confident and immediately accepting Gabriel as her friend, hed never speak to her. He probably still thinks shes too cool for him, but is very happy to have her as a friend anyway even if he feels belittled by her sometimes. Feeling belittled is why Gabriel usually doesnt speak to her first and waits until she does it first. They often do sleepovers where they watch all of their favorite movies for the tenth time.

Also they all have friendship bracelets. All three of them.

I dont know what else I could talk about so i think thats all!! Thats still such a long post I hope someone actually reads it. Thank you for asking about them I had so much fun writing this<3

I also purposefully avoided talking about the plot of Migawka because I want to keep it a secret. I really want to write a book or a comic one day with all three of the characters and so I wanna keep the plot to myself until I finish writing.

anyhow, heres migawkas pinterest board.

https://pin.it/7tFnFoH

[hellfire--cult]

That other story was romantic and cute as shit, but it made me remember what happened to me at a party once.

There was this guy there, he was very charismatic and all the girls wanted him. This one chick in particular I remember was constantly leaning against him and rubbing his arm. He was polite but kind of ignored her.

We both happened to sit on the couch next to each other. We talked about something and he asked me if my hair was natural. "The color isn't, but the wavy curly thing is." He smiled and said," I like the color, it brings out your eyes. The curly wave thing...call it a curve and you definitely have them" I was dense as fuck my man. Didnt even click that he was flirting, mainly because I am just tall, barely have an ass but I got big thighs, and I thought oh he's so wrong. He had said some other things that were borderline kind borderline flirting.

I do a shot of something with my girlfriends. Fourth of the night, not including the beer. Cue me going to the bathroom to throw up. The door opened because I forgot to lock it. I look back and see the guy. "Get out!"

He didn't. He locked the door and held my hair back for me. He rubbed my back and talked me through it. Then he ripped off toilet paper and gave it to me, rummaged through the cabinets and found mouthwash, gave that to me. Used it, spit in the toilet.

Well he was standing and I was still kneeling. I guess seeing that position does something as a man. All I know is i was perfect level with you know what. He froze as soon as he realized.

I didn't intend to be a tease. I truly didn't. I wanted to stand up, and so my brain thought "lets hold onto him for stability". So I put my hand on his thigh. The silence was thick. You could cut the tension with a knife.

He made the first move and kissed me and let me tell you what, he hauled me up off that floor and had me against the wall so quickly. He moaned once and I'll never forget it. Might I also say, I could feel him against my hip and he was BIG.

I was about to get down and dirty in some person's bathroom at a college party. But he had more sense and pulled away, immediately apologized, and told me I was too drunk to consent. "Wait sorry did this just happen?" I had asked to which he said "you're proving my point, you can't consent im sorry fuck I didn't mean to take advantage of you" "no I meant. Me. Like, there was that girl earlier, like...why me?" "I've been flirting with you all night!"

OH MY GOSH

I'm sorry I imagined Steve in this but OMG

YALL ARE LIVING THE FANFIC LIVES MY DUDES

Like JESUS CHRIST DONT BE SO DENSE LOVE

I am so happy he didn't take advantage of you and that he was a gentleman all night about it

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID GO OUT ON A DATE WITH HIM OR THAT U KNOW U WINK WINK WONK WONK RIGHT

I am a slut for all your love stories or sexy stories

Thank you for sharing them with me ❤️❤️❤️

[hailieshapedbox]

ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

[horizon-verizon]

Just because some people like this fictional character doesnt mean they have the same view as them *they were rise as royalty in medieval world that they think they were better than everyone else* if someone else still turn out good, well good for them people should not explaining this, George books is for adult, everyone with working braincells know racism is bad and i don't have to excuse Rhaenyra for that but the way this people thinking that Daemon is better than her is CONCERNING, Daemon also the one who calling baby Baelon as "the heir of the day" wtf did you thing a BABY did to Daemon? Existing? so they dont have the same rage with this because the baby didnt have character to talk about they even makes a joke of it just like Daemon was, he also constantly insulting his wife, the main characters in this story said fucked up thing Alicent also calling Rhaenyra's children "Bastards seeds of war"? Aemond constantly calling rhaenyra "whore" for sleeping with a man she likes and have children with harwin instead rap3 her gay husband or chosing some sex worker who have similar looks with her how dare her! And still want an iron throne?, she should keep her legs closed and lonely on her castle like good obidient women was, people killing children and their own sibling, rapng woman but this people draw the line at racism? Wow even Maegor wish he gets the same hate as her and treat as one of the most hated character in the entire franchise, but he's only a man everyone have excuse for a man's crime (he's just silly boy who decapitating kittens) unlike whore rhaenyra who raise taxes and insultingsomeone by their skin color

did you know celebrating a child death or insulting your wife is not real its only fiction when it was Daemon who did it? See Daemon is not racist at all when he calls women in the vale ugly than the sheeps This is not Racist he just saying truth because women in the vale is white (you could never be racist if they are white according to American logic) and according to people who see them they actually ugly so we didnt hate him for it, why people so hard to except the truth? So how dare people accuse him for racist? I could never! he defintly better than His racist niece, i still dont understand why Rhaenyra even chose man who looks "common" as lover she maybe drunk you know she's racist and Valyrian supremacist unlike Daemon (shakes my head)

I watch a movie called The return of the witch when the main character like Rhaenyra was, and there was a knight who being bothered by this witch thank god someone save his ass from her

Anon's probably responding to this post.

The anon of that posts said [excerpt]:

I am not here for any Rhaenyra’s stan trying to excuse or downplay a white woman’s misogynoir and classism because her sons died. Grief doesn’t make you suddenly racist, or compel you to say racist things. You were always that way. The grief just brought out the racism and supremacism that was always simmering beneath the surface.

You didn't need to move away from Rhaenyra's racism into the misogyny levied against her to argue against that past anon's words. That anon was expressing that they don't respect those who do stan her refusal to acknowledge her misogynoir against Nettles, that it came from Rhaenyra's will even under all those stresses, and that it is as serious as it should be seen.

A)

Anonymous, Daemon says the "heir for a day" in the context of wanting the throne but not actually having the biggest claim to it as the nephew or Rhaenyra would, bc he is not Viserys' child. It is a localized infraction, personal, against Viserys AND it was offhand. However, if someone calls me a racial epithet or does as that writer who almost got published did and tried to leave bad reviews of Black and PoC authors to establish dominance, then they are attempting to promote systematic suffering so they can come out on top. There is an intention to destroy a person's life AND to have socio-political privilege over others based on their socialized identity conditioned to be as immutable as possible. Like many said, you don't get to be racist because you had a bad day, are mentally ill, an alcoholic, your parents died, etc. as that writer tried to reason.

Racism is not this personal moral failing or symptomatic result of a racist facing oppression like hating on babies. It comes from systematic privilege given to the racist that allows them to see the oppressed as lesser than & historical, generational violence against said oppressed group. Hating on babies for one moment out of jealousy does not have that scope, level, depth, etc. racism does and never will. People may say often that "oh, they're being racist bc they have envy", and yes people default to their racism or sexism or classism bc they are envious...but their envy is the kind where they feel that the person they are envious of shouldn't have what they have bc what they have is something the racist/sexist/etc has learned they should have by "default" bc of their social class/race, etc. Key word is "systematic".

This reveals, anon, that you either are white or you are a PoC/Black person with a lot of internalized racism and a lack of understanding of racist history.

B)

You: "See Daemon is not racist at all when he calls women in the vale ugly than the sheeps This is not Racist he just saying truth because women in the vale is white (you could never be racist if they are white according to American logic) and according to people who see them they actually ugly so we didnt hate him for it, why people so hard to except the truth?"

Anon, what are you on about? Who said that Daemon was racist here? Who said anything about the Vale or that his comments to Rhea Royce were racist? Who is it that made Daemons' opinion about Rhea Royce's looks a racial thing? It certainly wasn't the past anon or me and I have never seen someone try until you just did.

You're making large leaps of logic here to justify and derail away from examining Rhaenyra's actions, as I already mentioned, to the point your words are incoherent. You are both trying to run away from race talk and flinging it at another character...

You: "So how dare people accuse him for racist? I could never! he defintly better than His racist niece, i still dont understand why Rhaenyra even chose man who looks "common" as lover she maybe drunk you know she's racist and Valyrian supremacist unlike Daemon (shakes my head)"

?! (incoherent)

[havendance]

i think if i were a writer who gets to kill Joker it should be completely by accident by some absolutely nameless person. Like not even a hero or a villain but a nameless civilian who didnt even mean to do it, a stray bullet, a drunk driver, a natural disaester, faulty wiring, house fire accident, cancer etc etc. Just something so common and so accidental and so mundane that people dont even realize he died until weeks or months later noticing a suspicious lack of a certain clown but also unamusing enough that it took like a week for amateur sleuths to figure out what happened. It is because Joker considers himself as this really Big Man™ who should be taken Seriously™ to the point that killing him would prove his Point™, so him dying a commoners accidental death and become one of the statistics is what he would hated the most. (Also literally nothing changes. Gotham neither mourns nor celebrates his death. Gotham hears the news and immediately moves on with its life. Everyone dies in this city what's another one?) I want his death to mean nothing, just absolutely inconsequential and unsatisfying and sudden and without any intent

Yeah, I see where you're coming from.

Like, I for sure wouldn't want like, Batman, or one of the Bats to kill the Joker because then it's just part of the million and one games the Joker plays. So some random joe, or just a common accident? Much more preferable. I would also be down for a story where the government just straight up executes him for all of his crimes against humanity.

I do think that it would be disingenuous for his death to be completely without consequence though. He is, for better or for worse, a central character in the dc universe. If he dies, people are going to react it to it.

I'm less familiar with current comics, but I do know that there's a lot of characters out there who have these connections with him. To list off a few examples that I may or may not be getting right (most of my current comics knowledge comes from osmosis): Duke Thomas's parents were victims of a joker attack (weren't they joker gassed or something?), Jason's got his whole Anti-Joker thing going on, isn't there a Clown Hunter dude who's thing is hunting clowns or the joker or something? And also, I think that the average gothamite would have an opinion on the fact that the Joker is dead. I don't know anything about Joker War besides the fact that it is a comics event that exsists, but presumably, that affected the citizens of gotham. I'm going to stop talking about things I don't know about, but while I think Batman could be the type to just stoically move on and never mention the Joker again, I do think that other people would care.

Like, I do just spectacularly not care about the joker, but I feel like it would be more interesting to wrestle with those story threads rather than discard him. You just got to make sure that the story's about them and him.

[munamania]

okay. so that was. okay. so ill give a little (unfortunately long) update here ig.

-this conversation was prefaced by me being like hey can i talk to you abt something and she was like yeah and i instinctively said slay and then stalled by going ‘do you ever say slay’ and she was like ‘no i dont feel like it’s my place’ and i was like ‘oh why’ and she said ‘because im a straight woman.’ so we’re back to that. and i was like ‘oh yeah ok sometimes i feel funny saying it actually im trying to stop.’ whatever

-started out SO strong just being like whew. okay. remember when i asked if something was up last week. lol this feels weird. okay anyway so i like you,

-went on to say we seemed to click so well when we first met (she was like yeah!) and i guess there was a point where i thought she might’ve felt the same

-but didn’t know if she was straight/eventually found out abt Bf and then ran into them and things seemed weird

-she cut in at this point about Hammock day and was like oh im sorry we were really drunk and i knew i needed to get stuff to u so im sorry if i was being awkward. and i was like sick well i didnt know that but it was awkward because he was being a little rude to me

-and then when you BLOCKED ME FROM YOUR STORY... didnt know if something happened or if we just didnt get along as well as i thought.. and i didnt know how things would be this year

-but you were cool and i like talking to u so i decided to just get to know u

-and we hung out and that was cool but i feel like i make u uncomfortable (she shook her head) i feel like maybe you felt more for me and things were confusing and weird and scary and that all came to a head that friday we went to that party

-or i feel like you know that id had feelings for you and im seen as this like pseudo homewrecker or whatever

-and im sorry if im misreading all of this but i needed to say it. i dont want to make u feel weird but i just dont know how else to read this situation, i dont feel like im being treated like a normal friend

-so she goes. um. honestly i dont even fucking remember how she started she was just like i felt really bad i was being a bad friend to you

-like sorry i wasnt answering your texts i then felt bad about it and i think it translated to me being awkward in person and whatever

-and i was like it’s fine, i just feel like i was getting mixed signals and i was maybe seen as like. an ego boost or someone that’s maybe making your bf jealous. sorry if that sounds presumptuous

-and she just kinda managed to swerve past that and only said she tends to be really oblivious and didn’t realize i liked her and w/e

-and that im just like. good at fostering relationships with people?? and like. we do get along so well and she was also surprised by how long we hung out alone yk

-and she said she got in her own head about only hanging out when we weren’t sober bc people have said stuff to her about that and i was like. but we have hung out sober. and she was like yeah. so i was just like?? null point

-and she like. said she appreciated me bringing this up to her and it must have taken some guts i was like yeah yk i mean i respect you and just felt like things got weird and whatever

-and then i was like ok ill get out of your hair now cause she was going out to dinner w her roommates and she was like ok. would you like a hug

-and i said yes <3 because i am so fucking smart. so i got a hug

-and basically just yk see you monday. but im walking away from all that like okaaaaaaayyyyyy.... and?????

-like. is she so far in denial of potentially maybe liking women (along with boyfriend’s gender journey) that she just. refused to even touch any of that part of the story

-yeah speaking of she did not say Anything about him. and how he played into this

-i mean im still glad i said it and it’s out there and not just rotting away in my brain. u know. and i know i needed to go in with no expectations

-and it’s nice that she still apparently wants to like be friends? but i expected at least Something. she pretended. sorry. she said she didn’t remember blocking me from her story

-and i said Yeah well. you unblocked me in time for boyfriend day. and she said ‘oh well i can see how that would have looked’ and i said ‘yeah. nice pictures’ LOL

-i did interview her for a film project and i feel like i sounded so fucking funny like such a bitch or just Weird bc i was going insane internally. or maybe im just always that annoying talking to her.

-idk guys. so i guess that’s that for now. chapter over?

[bi-curious--george]

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

I feel silly even writing this. That being said.. what's it going to hurt? I know you have a tendancy to read things and lurking in places nobody would expect.  And personally, I don't think you'll ever actually read this, but I have always wanted to tell you what a fan I am, and I figure after this many years, it may be time.  I talked myself out of writing this, thinking nobody's going to read it, and that may be true, but, one time when i was drunk, I wrote president obama about how unjust the system was and rambled about domestic violence and he wrote me back a very personal letter and if that can happen because of my words, why not try to see if you read this and I can ramble about what an impact you made in my life.  And what a hypocrite i would be if i would sit every day telling people how important their stories are, but think that mine isnt important.  I don't need a response, and don't believe I will ever get one.. But it would mean the world to me if you knew how much you saved me as a kid.  To give you some context, I am a therapist now, but I have been a fan of yours since before your first album ever came out.  And I really believe that your album was a huge reason I got through my shitty childhood to be here today.  I would love to tell you a funny little glimpse of how I'm stumbled upon you.

So i grew up just dirt poor.  And i had a really, really traumatic childhood (and adulthood, but thats a different letter, to, Obama apparently) and i remember so vividly how i became a fan of yours.  So. I was trying to take a bath.  And i loved baths - this was my escape from my awful childhood right?   and i used to play the radio while i did and I'd crank the music.  And we lived in the middle of nowhere with no actual television reception so my parents had to pay for satellite TV.  So i did have that going  for me.   So i turn on the satellite radio on my parents tv all the way up, go draw my bath down the hall, and i get in the tub and get in, and i heard your music for the first time. I wish I could remember the first song, but i dont (I am betting Tim McGraw, but i dont recall precisely). What i do remember is me running down the hall in a towel, basically tripping over myself soaking wet, literally  dripping, yelling " DON'T CHANGE IT I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS".  And you or maybe the dj? announced your first album coming out, and i instantly knew what i was going to ask for for Christmas.  

I didnt think i was going to get it.  I actually rarely got what i wanted for gifts, They normally shopped at the dollar store. Around Christmas time, i showed them your CD and begged and begged for it. I still didn't think id get it. I have vague memories of showing them the CD of yours in a Kmart and very dramatically saying  " this one! " So They couldn't claim they didn't know which one it was when Christmas time rolled around. 

The suspense is killing you, im sure. So I'll  get to it, but, I did get your cd for Christmas. And then from that point on, every time I got screamed at, every time I was hurt, or I didn't feel heard, i could at least escape. It was a peace offering of sorts in my mind, i think.   My favorite song was probably "Tied Together With A Smile". 

Life got a little hard after that, I'd become a single mom at 19 and my relationships were, well, complicated, and your music just became more and more relatable. And I just was able to pour myself more and more into your music. I've always just been so thankful for your music to be there. I found a partner and I love him, and somehow your music is still relatable.

 I've appreciated that your music  has been there the whole time.  The staying power it had in my life, from teens to 30s, I think is what made it so impactful. Your music was the soundtrack of my life while ive been learning how to reclaim my life as my own - and seemingly watching you do the same. 

I always wished I could have seen you in concert. But money got tight, then stayed tight.  I settled for what i could- scream singing in the car and shower.   

I went to grad school, had some more kids, and I became a therapist and my parents disowned me which was a wild ride.  I tried so hard to get tickets to see you this time, I didn't think I would care that much, I even anticipated it not going in my favor as I was grown now and i can handle not getting to go to a concert if they ran out of tickets.

I will admit, this Ticketmaster fiasco felt so unfair.  I had worked for so long and so hard to get to a place where i could finally see you in person.  I had been a fan since before your first album.  Life had screwed me over so many times in so many ways, but it felt like i made it through it - and now i could support myself and spend my own money and be a part of this eras tour - see all the eras i couldn't see when i was hiding from the abusive relationships or couldn't afford the albums and had to repeat them on YouTube to memorize them.  I was crushed after 8+ hours of waiting to still not get tickets. 

I'm betting not hearing you in person probably hurt more at the time because I found you when I lived with my parents and  since I had been disowned semi recently by my parents and you had been such an integral part in my healing it became this awful metaphor for me not being able to move forward.  "I'm 32, I went to grad school, i still can't buy a house for my family, my car is going to die and I can't replace it (at the time), I'm stuck at a job that doesn't appreciate me, I can't even see the one concert I wanted, where did I fuck up so bad?" and like it was an awful loop of me messing up somewhere along the line.. and I cried probably every day from the day of Ticketmaster failure until the second day of Minneapolis, and even sometimes now even thinking about losing the chance. Ticketmaster had other ideas for me i guess.  And that's not on you, that's just a me thing.  And that's for my new therapist to unpack,  😂

I still try to watch the lives on tiktok so I can try to be a part of What is likely our generations Woodstock. You are doing amazing things, and I hope that you and your family and friends are endlessly proud of you.

Regardless, thank you for being a part of my journey, I'm so glad you were there. And if you ever tour again, which I hope you do, I'll see you there. 

I wrote this whole thing out on 8/1,  I was going to print it out and mail it as I had heard that's  the best avenue..  then I never got around to it as I felt silly. It's now 8/3, the day that more dates were announced (I knew it! I knew Canada would get some dates!)  Unfortunately Minnesota did not get more dates but I'm going to register for Indianapolis  on 11/2- it's worth a shot.  🤞. I slept on it, and said to myself, Let's put it on Tumblr and let the universe decide if you should see it.

[nls0325]

I work at an art supply store in a popular city in america (i think there's like a handful idk) and I swear to god, some of the men i work with are on one. I don't mean to come off as complaining but sometimes the lack of respect, discipline, and creativity from some of these dudes really get to me. Like i can't help but feel frustrated. They really have me questioning my sanity. Like the other night, we were having a goodbye party for one of the girls who quit to focus on her art. From my POV it was going great. My friend and I had a few drinks and I managed to separate myself from the people I'd usually avoid until i started talking to two of my managers (I adore one of them, she can do no wrong imo). We started talking about how some people in the store can be a bit misogynistic. There was an incident with a coworker and I where he kinda just brushed me off in front of a customer as if i was stupid and it was really humiliating. He kinda undermines all of the women in the store and always has to be right. Anyways. After that i was like 'man this guy stinks.' I can acknowledge that i need to chill out and stop being so mad about things but at this point its repeated behavior and i can't stand seeing my friends be disrespected at work. We started discussing his behavior at work and TBF we both had drinks and I was just pulling his leg, but he got super defensive of this dude and then started ranting as if i was accusing HIM of hating women. Honestly i didnt care to argue so i just left after saying something dumb back. Flash forward to the next day. I'm talking to my coworkers about the party and they start saying all the creepy things he did that night including kissing a coworker's shoulder w/out consent. The last time he had a party at his place he got super drunk and was trying to dance/grind on every girl there, including myself. Keep in mind that i'm super awkward so i literally stood there frozen. That night was garbage. Anytime he is drunk his true self comes out and it's so gross because he gets so aggressive and touchy. This is why you don't party with your managers. Now I see him and i get rlly annoyed. Like genuinely annoyed. That being said. The last time i argued with a manager I had the worst experience at work ever. Going in was always torture. That's a whole other story in itself. The general consensus is that that guy sucks and is toxic. But so is this other guy. There's no point in bringing it up to management because they hate conflict and will try to find a middle ground. There's no middle ground. This dude is a creep. I don't know if i want him to lose his job... That's kinda evil right. This behavior isn't going to change overnight. Multiple people in the store have told him that his behavior is gross. And he's like 'yeah ik, i gotta work on that' but... he's not.... doing.. anything. to change. And he's the type of person to get hangry. Girl this is not kindergarten 🤨

[journalofabrokenheartedvirgin]

Page 79 (Part 1)

The story in 10 parts 

Our first date was about 9.5 hours. We went for dinner, walked and got ice cream, walked some more. Stood in a parking lot and talked.moved to his car and talked. Drove around looking for a bathroom. Went back to my apartment and sat in my bedroom talking. 5pm until 3am

Came back from michigan and hung out the day I got back. I asked him if he saw anything coming from this, and he asked if I was trying to make it official. I said not if its too early for you. He said it wasn’t. We were boyfriend and girlfriend after 3 dates

We went to minigolf and Dave and busters as our other out of the apartment dates. He made us mojitos and we got drunk together 

We went to Borrego Springs and stayed in an air BnB with our friends, we slept in the same bed and kissed both nights we were there. 

He would tell me how pretty I was all the time, had me tell him something I liked about my body, told me I was one of his favorite people and said he was happy I was in his life. 

Told me I would meet his whole family on our first date, then said out grandmas would meet before we made it official 

I had a panic attack at BS about him breaking up with me because I was too annoying, too clingy, etc etc 

Last time we hung out he said he’d have to leave early and when I said we could reschedule he said he wanted to see me even if it was just for a couple  hours 

Came over Monday and said he had to tell me something. He said he didnt want to be in the relationship anymore because it was taking too much out of him and I deserved someone who wanted to/could put effort into me

I texted him 2 days later telling him how I felt about everything. He said he was sorry he hurt me and that im an amazing person but that he didnt  think it was fair to me to be with someone who didnt wholeheartedly feel the same about me 

[ungratefulbeyotchhotline]

Skdnxjd

ok i need to talk abt this boy i like hahahahah

so i knew him from high school we were in drumline together and i always admired him from like a distance. hes a year younger thn me, i always say that i heard him before i saw him hahah bc he was in pit and i was on cymbals and i heard him playing the teen girl squad song LMAO i was like "who is playing that they are cool" and it was him!! We got close and talked all the time there was a time where we were fr always texting my sr year ish like one of us would text "marco" and the other would reply "polo" hahah shit like that but we never dated or fooled around or anything. We liked each others best friends so we were both preoccupied w that lol

we lost touch after i graduated but still followed each other on twitter and snapchat and stuff, we had hella mutual friends tho. didnt talk much through college for either of us, but in march 2017 his friend was getting married in chicago so he was in town and we got drunk and hooked up 😎 it was actually rly sweet but thats a different story anyway he later told me he had feelings for me and at that time i was going thru some shit and balls deep in love w a different person so i turned him down and i found out later thru a mutual friend that he was gutted, i feel really bad at the idea of hurting him hc hes such a good human but i had to do what i had to do! Anyway weve been snapping each other more, i rly wanted to see him over winter break but i got stoopid covid and had to stay home 😡 he lives in denver which is harder to get to than cbus where we r from but ive been thinking about him allll the time all the time hahha ewww

hes such a cool human tho. hes been drumming since he was 3, hes a vegetarian, he speaks german, hes a socialist, hes named after a super famous basketball player lmao, hes a gemini AHHH i love gemini boyssss we have a really similar and compatible sense of humor ahhh i just like him a lot

idk what would even possibly come of it bc we live in different cities p far away but ahhh i like him. i feel like my ideal situaysh would be like long distance open thing like i still wanna fuck around hahah my freedom and independence are super important to me and we live 1000 miles away so its just not realistic but i like him so much to the point where like i would want to pursue this like i would like if i get to be his girlfriend aaaaaah but only if he would want that ovbiously like that js a big "if" idk what's going on w him in that whole dept and idk how to bring it up or even if i want to bring it up ahhhh.

U know what it is, i blame morgan presley LMFAO she and her bf lou are so sweet and so in love and SO WELL MATCHED and suited for eachother i'm like damn.... i want that hahaha

Anyway where it stands right now i'm just thinking about him all the time and like daydreaming a bunch of gay shit hahaha and lowkey trying to find an excuse to go to denver... i mean i still have a ton of shit in sacramento still, maybe i drive it back??? and hang out w dude for a couple days???? and we reconnect and talk and cry and fuck a whole bunch and smoke and jam and make out and i take a bereal of me painting his nails and then he comes to visit me and we have such a good time here and we take turns going to each others cities and sometimes meet in the middle and go to concerts and festivals together and and and and and lemme stop

[lajecauniverse]

You said

give me all of it and I will carry it..It’s time for you to rest. I know the plans you have for me to prosper me...and give me a new life. I remember where I was 6 years ago and you brought me out. I’m still embarrassed that I brought over my very rich cousin to stay in the basement where I lived, a place with second hand furniture and lots of cigaret butts and weed; things she's not used to. I remember how she left before I even got up that night...to me, she was disgusted cus back in DR, she had lived her entire childhood in a mansion and her new home is penthouse. To this day, I want to yell at my entire family, that God brought me out and I got a two bedroom apartment in one of the best neighborhoods in NYC, which is a highly achieved goal, and. in a healthy relationship with a very hardworking, humble and sweet man. 

In reality, I don't have to yell it out; my ego does. My ego wants me to take revenge on everyone who ever treated me bad...the evil is going against what God is still doing.

I almost died. I became dependent on Xanax for a few years. Had to be maybe 5 years when I couldn’t do anything without it or weed. I was also drinking a lot and occasionally doing E or Cocaine. The family said something about me having to pick one: pills or alcohol, cus I was blacking out every time I was at a party with them...I chose Xanax and stopped drinking sometime around 2018 and became celibate....

My prayer time was consistent and anyone can say, yea but you are high...well, I needed God and God didn’t turn me away when I needed to cry my turmoils and mood swings. I vividly remember my talks with God, my devotion to God in my heart and my desire to find what would make me feel safe....I took Xanax because I was angry and needed to pretend or fake that I was ok in front of everyone...I took Xanax because it would help me forget for a bit, that I was at an unhappy job, I felt horribly about my weight gain due to drinking and eating from anxiety,  and I didn’t want to face life alone....in 2016, my companion left...and I had started taking psych meds to not be so angry that I had someone who wouldn't provide and would never work along with me to build a great life but was gonna go once a better opportunity came along...and he did...I kept it honest when I was asked, you cheated? Yes I did cheat...I’ve never been a cheater, but I was high and drunk while working and leaving work at 12am to go party some more with whoever happened to be around. Blacking out and then wondering what I did, the next day. 

I didn’t deal with the trauma of betraying someone and them leaving. I cared about the person yet I betrayed them..but it took me until I quit the Xanax January 31st, 2020.

The past few years, all of the things I didnt confront, bombarded me....all the anger I repressed while under the influence of Xanax. To take a personality test and finding out I am extremely disagreeable when for years, I was agreeing and following others’ leads? So now, that I am back, I am telling God to remove all the vengeful feelings inside of me and to give me a spirit of love. Nothing else matters but what God thinks of me...when people know your story, they are quick to judge, but when God who sees it all, can lift you up and call you His, nothing and no one else matters. What they think is their own perception and not the truth. No matter what*

[qutiesquish]

“WHY?!”

Short story᯽

Character: Ben Drowned

Pronouns: He/Him

A/N: I’m going for 16 y/o Ben, cause he was that age when he died last I checked, so don’t make this weird. Also I tried to make this as canon as possible :’]

Warning(s): mentions of death, obsessive behavior, manipulation, child neglect, alcohol ab@se, toxic romance, mentions of getting drunk and hangovers, kidnapping(?)

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Recently, some common residents of the Slenderman manor have noticed a particular change with a certain link lookalike resident. Ben, Ben Drowned.

Normally he would find random targets and torment them throughout the day/night, fuck with their head, stress them out to the brink of paranoia and insanity on the occasion, and than kill them.

He would sit in the main living room of the manor and sit their on the TV with a laptop and giggle darkly as he tormented some poor bastard.

As of the past week it seems he’s been talking to the same person? He always mumbles and giggles at his laptop screen. Usually mumbling this one name, {Reader}?

It was weird. Usually he wouldn’t go on this long with talking to his victims. Was there something special about this certain one? Were they not scared and tormented enough to fit Ben’s expectations?

In reality, or at least from Ben’s point of view, it was nothing like that.

At first, he thought to himself “oh wow! A kid my age? This should be interesting” but then it all changed after you got up from your TV set up after looking at your phone and running out of the LED light filled room, leaving the game open.

Ben waited for you to come back, when you did you walked in with a woman, seemingly your mother.

That day he learned that your father had been going to work, getting drunk and coming home, leaving you to help take care of him. Your parents were split up and your mother occasionally brought you groceries, or gave you money to buy them yourself. She apparently couldn’t take you in with her as her boyfriend doesn’t want “loud brats” so this was the best she could do.

You seemed so forgiving about it too.

That’s why it pissed Ben off.

You were forgotten. Ignored. Brushed aside. Told some dude was worth to keep around more than you. And you just- accepted it!? Like what?! Are you that easy or are you just blind?

After waiting for about fifteen minutes or so, the woman, your mother, left the room.

You heard your tv make noise, the one that it makes when a chat box from a character shows up. You look towards your TV screen and watch as an npc character speaks to yours.

“Why?!” Is all it said.

There was no reply option to choose from.

“What the…” you mumbled. Questioning how you would react to the question if there was no reply option.

The npc started talking again.

“Why would you let them drown you?!” It said.

“Wha- let who drown me? What?” You questions aloud once more, not expect a reply.

“Why would you let him drown you?” The npc questioned. The music of the game getting darker.

“Heh?! Did- did that- DID THAT JUST REPLY??? I DIDNT CLICK ANY… thing… can it.. hear me? What-“ you yelled, getting cut off by the npc chat box.

“You didn’t answer.”

“I.. I don’t know what you mean!”

“You’re being drowned. Why do let them drown you.” The npc replied. The music of the game seemingly sounding angry, and darker than before.

“This is freaking me out man! Fuck this!” You said, running to your console to shut it off.

When you went to turn of the console it shocked you, making you retract your hand.

“Ow! What the fuck!?”

The npc box went off again. “You’re their son. Why do you let them drown you?!”

On the other side of this situation, Ben was getting more and more upset. The little red light he has for eyes glitching out as the black tears that normally ran down his face come out in globs.

He was crying out of frustration.

Why won’t you answer?! Why don’t you explain?! Why would you let them do this! Why would you let them drown you?!

Those were his thoughts.

And until he got his answers you would not be leaving.

So you’ve been stuck in your room for almost a week now.

You tried to leave by opening your door but the nob zapped you everytime. Your window has never opened once since you moved in since it was stuck shut, so that would’ve been useless to try.

You also tried to call and text for help, but anytime you called or got a call from someone, the phone always hung up almost immediately. Than anytime you typed up a message for help it wouldn’t send and just said “error” above it.

Also, your tv would randomly turn on and the npc from your game would show up, looking worse and worse each time, and ask you the same questions over and over.

It was all so weird.

Though, there were two things you found to be weirder than everything else.

Sometimes the npc would talk to you, normally, and ask random questions. It was almost like it was human.

Than the other thing.. almost every night, or just anytime you would go to sleep, you would wake up to your TV becoming this illuminated white screen and shutting off. Then when you got up to look around, you’d always find food.

You don’t know where it came from either.

Your mom wasn’t supposed to show up until next week with groceries. Than your dad was usually never home, or too busy laying on the couch drunk or with a hang over.

So how did it get there?

You asked the npc one day, as a joke, or just some way to calm your nerves. What you didn’t expect was for it to actually reply.

“I gave you the food from your kitchen”

What? That’s crazy!

“You’re.. but you’re an npc.. in my game.” You said.

To Ben you seemed flabbergasted and confused. He enjoyed it. It was.. cute.. in a pathetic messed up way.

You heard a dark giggle of a boy come from your tv.

That.. didn’t sound like the npc’s voice..

And you were right. It wasn’t the npc’s.

The npc box showed up again.

“I am more than a piece of trashy code… {Reader}… I am… not a human either. At least not anymore..” the npc box said, another dark, creepy sounding giggle after it.

“What… than what.. are you?!… how do you.. know my name?!..” you asked hesitatingly, causing another dark giggle to come from the tv.

“Who am I?..” The npc text box said.

Once again a dark chuckle emerged from the tv, along with a voice.

“I am Ben, Ben Drowned.. and you? {Reader}… Are coming with me.”

Your tv screen illuminated, a bright light causing your vision to go white. The last thing you remember is a shadow crawling from your screen.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[could-have-beens]

miss maam,,, could i ask for some gin n tonic headcanons of yours??? could be from tlocc or just in general. i just love the way you capture and portray their dynamics haha

im prev anon (about gin n tonic) i just realized i didnt know your pronouns!!! sorry that i presumed it!! aaa so sorry about the miss maam part

Thank you so much! I'm happy to hear you like their dynamic in TLOCC! Ginny and Tom's relationship is such a joy to write, and it means a lot that you enjoy reading about them. And no worries, I use she/her 😊

As for headcanons, that's pretty much most of the fic. Why and how Tom opened the Chamber, his dynamic with the other students, how his fear of death began, Ginny dealing with the aftermath of COS, what her interactions with the diary was like, to name a few.

Here are some other headcanons I haven't had the chance to include in TLOCC:

Ginny is a foot shorter than Tom. It was the first thing she noticed about him. Height difference, my beloved ❤️

She's also the shortest person in their year. When Tom found out she was actually older than him, he almost made a joke about her height

But he didn't, because he knew she'd immediately retaliate and roast him without hesitation. While he doesn't mind how tall he is, he can't stand it when people point it out. No, he's not insecure, what the hell are you talking about

Ginny knows more about Tom than she realizes. The diary was honest with her about the little things, like his favorite drink, his fondness for Transfiguration, how much he dislikes the cold, stuff like that. But after everything that went down in COS, Ginny naturally assumed everything the diary told her was a lie and tried to forget about it. For her, Tom's most humanizing moments are seeing those half-forgotten details with her own eyes

Tom covers up his accent by imitating Alphard's. No one knows this but Margot, who only noticed it when she became seatmates with Alphard

Tom dislikes Quidditch, but he likes flying. If it wasn't for Abraxas, Tom would have tried out, if only to see if he was any good at it

Ginny and the diary bonded over their love of flying (and inability to afford their own broom) and magical creatures

Her experience with the diary made her resistant to Legilimency and the Imperius Curse. If you pit her against a more experienced wizard than Tom, she'd have a harder time fighting them, but it's not unlikely she'll be able to throw them off with enough practice

Tom is a natural Legilimens. Not like Queenie in FB (which isn't how I imagine Legilimency at all btw), but in that he's more sensitive to what people are thinking/feeling. It's why he's able to learn how to read people's minds relatively quickly, and why he reacts to Ginny the way he does when they first met

He's surprisingly good with animals, but only with snakes and magical creatures. Ginny strongly suspects Fawkes likes him better than her, and it irks her to no end

Their duel in the Chamber is Tom's first actual duel. The closest he'd ever come to dueling is his practice runs with Margot

He hasn't found his fighting style yet, so he just throws every spell he knows while trying to imitate Dumbledore, Ginny, and other people he admires looks up to tolerates

Remember the whole love triangle story Tom came up with? He got the idea from Margot, who made an offhand joke about Alphard possibly liking Ginny because he stared at her so much after they met. Tom encouraged the idea primarily to mess with Alphard, not Ginny.

Because Tom knows Alphard isn't romantically interested in her. He knows that. But Walburga? Abraxas? Briseis? They sure don't, and Tom knows Alphard isn't going to tell them. Joke's on him though, because look how that turned out

What Tom finds most frustrating about Ginny is how oblivious she is to the impact she has, how little she cares about the image she projects. On the flipside, his hyperawareness about his image, how much he cares about the impact he has on people, is what Ginny hates most about him (besides the whole, you know, Voldemort thing)

Not saying this is going to happen in the story, but assuming they're all alive and getting along post-Hogwarts (aka fics of my fic that I'll never write lol):

Tom briefly works for Borgin and Burkes. Ginny, jobless and not sure what to do with herself, goes and bugs him during his shifts. He pretends to hate it

She never calls him Tom, but she called him Thomas for a whole month, in retaliation for that one time he tried to call her Ginevra

He'll never admit it on the pain of death, but Tom goes to Dumbledore for Ginny-related advice

Ginny and Alphard meet up and get drunk every other weekend, with Tom tagging along as the designated sober friend (boyfriend? chaperone? Alphard knows better than to ask whatever the hell is going on with Ginny and Tom)

At some point, Alphard complains about his family's matchmaking attempts and half-seriously goes fuck it, I'm gonna travel the world to get them off my back. Ginny points out that it won't solve anything, they're still going to badger him about getting married. Alphard, drunk out of his mind, realizes that yes, you're right, we should get married right now, that'll show 'em. Ginny, also drunk out of her mind, agrees. Tom, wishing he was drunk out of his mind, is too busy fuming to convincingly talk them out of it

"What do you mean this is a bad idea? Name one good reason why we shouldn't — why're you twitching?"

Eventually, Ginny remembers that she's supposed to be a half-blood, and that the Blacks would rather have their line die out than marry anyone who wasn't pure-blood. Tom is livid that this, THIS is what stops her from Apparating with Alphard to the altar

Ginny and Alphard laugh about the whole thing the next day. Tom doesn't talk to them for a week

Alphard ends up going on his world tour and signs his letters to Ginny with stuff like "to my dearest bride" "from your handsome fiancee." Tom threatens to murder him every time

The last letter Alphard ever sends to Ginny is signed "my beloved widow"

Ginny also decides to travel, but not with Tom or Alphard or anyone. She checks in on them regularly, sends them souvenirs, but she never asks them to go with her. Tom isn't bitter about it, of course not, why would you even suggest —

Dumbledore insists on monthly family dinners with Ginny, Tom, and Aberforth. It's the most mortifying thing, but Ginny grows to love it, as much as she acts otherwise. Tom has . . . conflicted feelings about it all

Ginny goes to therapy. Tom also goes to therapy. They all go to therapy