#all saved in my drafts

[chumpovodir]

oouugghh. just popping to say im not dead and things are fine, considering how uh. cryptic. that last post was. and how long its been

in fact, things are better now because i finally got psychiatric help by way of meds, so the urge to scroll and reblog impulsively was basically instakilled lmao

[excali8ur]

So there's this AU,

[dontbelasagnax]

I heard it through the grapevine that Cody and Obi-Wan are kissing right now. If true please send photo evidence.

[mozquito]

tag two blokes who do fuck all

[blue-mood-blue]

I’ve grown to appreciate the aus where Shen Yuan enters the story as “Shen Yuan” - same name, probably similar face, generally able to interact with PIDW as himself and change the story through his added presence. I like the sense of “if only you’d been here, things might have been better the first time around” of it all.

And I was thinking, it’s a funny coincidence in that scenario that someone named Shen Yuan gets put into… another Shen Yuan. What are the chances? What a weird twist of fate that Airplane would pick out the name that his most dedicated critic could slip into seamlessly.

What about a version where it’s not coincidence at all?

Airplane goes to school with a kid named Shen Yuan. He’s prickly and hard to approach and a little intense, but Airplane is persistent. In fairness, Airplane is relentless - and maybe it’s a good thing that they end up being friends, because they’re a little too much for anyone else to handle. They balance each other out. They’re the “weird kids” in class and they’re okay with that, because even when they don’t have any words for it, they know they’re not like their classmates, not really. That’s okay; they don’t want to be.

Recesses and breaks are consumed with the elaborate stories that Airplane wants to tell, and all the holes Shen Yuan pokes into them. It’s not mean-spirited, though, even though Shen Yuan isn’t the kind to temper his words. It’s passionate. He cares about those stories the way Airplane cares about them, and it can’t be mistaken for anything else when they lean together conspiratorially across the lunchroom table. They’ve both got notebooks filled with details and characters and monsters. Shen Yuan’s practically got a whole bestiary sketched out in wobbly childhood attempts at art, entries fervently scrawled beside them. Airplane prattles out plots nonstop, always with the promise of shining eyes and being asked “what happens next?”

They come up with a whole world together. Airplane’s going to write about it someday. Shen Yuan is going to read every word.

Shen Yuan misses school. Shen Yuan starts missing school a lot.

Airplane goes to the hospital room instead. He doesn’t think to worry, because Shen Yuan is okay - that’s what he says. He looks okay, and he’s a kid, and it doesn’t feel real that anything bad should happen to a kid. He doesn’t think to worry. He doesn’t think to say goodbye.

It’s one of the older Shen brothers who catches him on the way up to the room one day, in the hallway just outside - snaps at him to go the fuck home, and when Airplane hesitates, pushes him into the elevator and tells him not to come back. “Tells” is a generous way to describe the way the words come out - a growl, a hiss, the sound an animal would make when a hand got too close to a wound.

(It’s not fair to name a villain after him, even if the name never really comes up in the story. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He’d lost a brother minutes before, and he was getting his brother’s friend out of the way so he didn’t have to… see. It isn’t fair, but then, none of it is fair.)

Death feels very real after that.

The notebooks get shoved into a closet, and it’s not until Airplane’s moving out and one falls on him from a high shelf that he thinks about it again. He’s written things, lots of things, but nothing as ambitious as this - nothing as important. It could be good, he considers. He’d promised. Shen Yuan wanted to read it.

The problem was that no one else does, not for a long time, not until Airplane has whittled himself and his art into a corner and into such an unfamiliar shape that he has to wonder how it’s still his own face he sees in the mirror. He has to eat. He has to pay rent. Shen Yuan would yell at him, but Shen Yuan isn’t there to yell at him, and who cares. Who cares if it could have been better? The people who actually are here love it, and it’s paying his bills, and sometimes stories don’t go the way they’re supposed to and the world is fucking unfair. It doesn’t matter.

(It does. But he shoves that thought away along with styrofoam cups and soda bottles to the bottom of a garbage bag.)

Authors are not gods and their power is limited, but Airplane exercises just a sliver of what he’s been granted and gifts an inconsequential sort of immortality. He thinks about making him a rogue cultivator, maybe the kind that goes around documenting beasts and compiling his findings. He thinks about making him someone too powerful for death to touch, or too important to threaten, but when Airplane looks at the world he crafted and everything that’s become of it, it feels like the kindest thing he can do for Shen Yuan is a childhood where he’s loved, and a death that’s peaceful. What does it say about that world, that he’d kill off his best friend too early again instead of making him live there?

(The best writing he ever does is the only, shining moment of humanity that his scum villain ever displays: a lament about death that comes too early, about a brother gone too soon. The commenters praise him. The commenters flatter over how real the emotions feel. The commenters don’t get any response from Airplane on that chapter.)

Death is incredibly real when it comes for him too early, too, still hovering over his keyboard with the story technically finished and incredibly incomplete. Airplane could tell himself that’s because the written version can never be the version in the writer’s head, always shifting and with every possibility still on the table, but he knows better than that. The System knows better than that, with its condescending message about “improving” his writing and “closing plot holes” and “achieving his original vision”...

…and he’s a child again. He’s a child in his own story, he’s Shang Qinghua now without the benefit yet of a peak or cultivation or anything, and maybe he’s a little bitter, and a little scared, and…

And Shen Yuan - with longer hair, with robes, with a couple of older kids watching him from across the street, but undeniably the prickly little boy who used to sit down imperiously across from him and tell him everything that was wrong with the chuck of writing that had been handed to him last period, but with that smile that said he was only invested because he knew it could be better and they were going to make it better - marches up to him with a fire in his eyes and a frown that warns of a coming tirade.

“You told it wrong,” is the first thing he says.

Shang Qinghua wants to ask how him how he’s here, how this is possible, or maybe laugh because, yeah - yeah, Shen Yuan has no goddamn idea how wrong he got absolutely everything.

(Shang Qinghua wants to say “I missed you” and “why did you leave so soon” but he’s here now. He’s right here.)

“I know,” he says instead. “I’m sorry. It all kind of… spiraled out of control.”

Shen Yuan frowns, but then it dissipates the way it always does, and his eyes shine with ideas the way they always used to. “That’s okay,” he relents, grabbing for his hand. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it what it was supposed to be.”

[tanasha-not-yet]

it's kind of a cedric version of this piece

[hilacopter]

y'all have no fucking right to whine about how israeli leftists and pro-peace activists DoN'T aCtuALLy cARe AbOUt PaLEsTine because we don't spread fucking antisemitc misinfo and don't want our country bombed. perhaps we'd be willing to work with you if you haven't made it abundantly clear you don't want our support, you don't want our work and effort. in fact don't want us to exist at all. our existence infuriates you, it contradicts the black and white narrative you've made up for comfort in which all israelis are genocidal bigoted colonizers who's deaths are justified and welcome in the name of resistance. in which the big brave westerners get to play white savior and cleanse the evil israeli hivemind. you aren't willing to acknowledge us or ally with us because we refuse to work on your terms in which we have to disregard our own history in favor of your own false antisemitc narrative, we have to loathe our existence and grovel for repentance over the sin of being born, or we have to actively cheer for our own deaths. if you want help from the people who can make the most of an actual difference, who can protest the israeli government and military directly, then you're going to have to listen, you're going to have to apologise and you're going to have to compromise. you're going to have to hear stuff you might not like hearing and you'll have to make drastic changes to your movement of terrorist stans. but you've made it abundantly clear you don't actually want that. you only make us more reactionary and bitter by spitting in our faces. I've talked to fellow peaceniks who have lost the motivation to protest or donate out of spite for the western pro-palestine movement. I myself have become much more wary of it all. you're causing us to be resentful and then you complain like we were the problem all along when guess what, human beings (surprise, we are ones despite how much you want to think otherwise) don't have that kind of mental tolerance and you can't expect us to keep advocating for your cause while simultaneously having to tolerate your bullshit. in the end I think you're the ones who don't actually care about palestine, when you're actively rejecting movements and protests that are actually helpful as soon as they don't align with your worldview or your ego or your fantasies of a glorious violent revolution. your standards for what's considered pro-palestine and not "both-sidesing" are absurd, hostile and only harm everyone in the long run. peace is the ideal solution for all but you have made it clear you don't want that, you want "justice" based on your own misconceptions about a 2000 year old conflict you knew nothing about before and know nothing about now. you're in this to feel good about yourselves. I said what I said.

[demi-pixellated]

Detective Gallus

[carrion-art]

Everybody wants Fox's Noods

[bobateaqwq]

dabihawks ship template thing bc I got boredd last night .. explaining more under the cut!!!

CW FOR LIGHT SEX TALK!!!!!!!

Big spoon and little spoon: I thinkkk it would be uncomfortable to be held from behind for hawks bc of his wings n stuff, even if he sheds all his feathers. so he tends to like being the big spoon!!! at first dabi would be against being the little spoon bc he thinks it makes him vulnerable and weak or wtv to be held but he does like being held by hawks. he just wants to be held and cared foorrr once he opens up more and their situationship develops more dabi is more open to being the little spoon.

Lends clothes, borrows clothes: hawks doesn't really have his own clothesss I think the commission definitely controls everything all the way down to what he wears. The most he has is sleep clothes, but he usually only ever wears his hero uniform. either way all of his clothes have holes in the back of them, so dabi isnt particularly fond of wearing his shirts LOL. maybe he'll steal a pants or two but other than that yeah dabi don't wear his clothes. I don't think hawks would wear dabis clothes either bc dabis clothes probably stink and they're all ripped HELPP ok so maybe they don't lend each other clothes help…

Pet names vs no pet names: hawks calls dabi dabs... hot stuff, firefly...... dabs... or whatever annoying nickname he can come up with. I think he also just likes calling dabi annoyingly sweet pet names like sweetheart bc it pisses dabi tf off and hawks thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. dabi almost never calls hawks hawks he only ever calls him birdie or birdbrain or heroo or literally anything condescending. hawks never takes it as that way tho no matter how much tries to mean it in a mean way hawks thinks it's just silly and sweet.

introvert and extrovert: this one's obviouuus for dabi at least he hates people... hates EVERYONE!!!! he'd rather stay in solitude and plot his revenge against his father or smmmthh hawks on the other hand was basically trained to deal with the public and overall be a social butterfly. so naturally yeah, hawks is around people and it's not that he doesn't mind being around people. but when his social battery dies out I think he definitely getss ehhh like usually he's good at keeping his silly chill attitude but I think at some point it does get too much and he much rather be alone. when it comes to dabi i think dabi is much more annoying and open and chatty w hawks which ultimately breaks through his sort of bad boy persona and feels more touya. while hawks eventually doesn't bother keeping his public persona up with dabi and just fills the silence hawks provides. it's nice i think they bring out touya and keigo out of each other

affectionate through words or actions: I think they both crave physical touch. growing up hawks was never rlllyyy cared for in the way he needed as a child, same w dabi i think they both just need a hug. I dooo think that they both definitely need words of affirmation from each other, with dabi growing up not feeling good enough or wtv and hawks growing up into believing he wasnt even his own person. but they both suck at it and they struggle to express how they feel for each other so I think they much rather show their care towards actions. for example hawks showing up to his and dabi's meets with extra take out to share with dabi and let him stay over, or dabi would help hawks preen his wings and hawks will sometimes wake up to breakfast or WHATEVER IDK but yeah. i think doing stuff for the other person makes them feel less vulnerable.

confessing first, or waits for confession: they don't confess. end of story. LOL. in boba yaoi world dabi doesn't die yaayyy and he's put through this whole rehabilitation process yada yada but eventually they confront each other after not seeing each other ever since dabi burned hawks' wings. whenn it comes to confrontation dabi is very good at pointing out hawks' bs and such but he struggles with opening about his own...feelings n stuff I guess while hawks has a hard time with confrontation in general. i think hes constantly deflecting dabi's jabs n stuff or wtv but errmm IDK. hawks never knows what to say during confrontations since he needs time to really... think about it and carefully calculate his words. normally he's good when it comes to making up stufff or reacting quickly I guess but when it comes to his ACTUAL feelings. to KEIGOS feelings and not hawks' then he's like.... he blanks... he doesn't know how to think for himself whooopppsss

screams about bugs, squashes with shoe: ok the more i think about it the more i think dabi would just squash the bug w no mercyyy and hawks would be more reluctant... i think neither of them are scared of bugs since dabi literally grew up in filth for most of his life and hawks just... isnt scared of them... dabis had to deal with insects all the time when he was homeless so he's just like... Done w them. IDK it's silly it's goofy theyre stupid

drives car. can't drive: dabi can't drive. period. he doesn't know how, if he were to, he'd fucking crash the car into anything in his way. shitty driver, never learned, never got his license, nothin!!! hawks on the other hand doooess knowww how to drivveeee but he doesn't like to. he flies everywhere, doesn't like driving bc he can't fit his wings in them and when he hates shedding his feathers just to fit in it bc it makes him feel all too VULNERABLE. and UNGUARDED!!!! so yeah he doesnt like to drive but he can. i think hes a crazy driver tho like with being the second fastest hero in japan hes like used to going super fast so he like drives so fucking fast bro ... other speed limit... takes sharp turns, stops abruptly, and overall he's freaking crazy. I think dabi also gets motion sickness so he hates riding with hawks HAHA hawks likes to carry him and fly anyway.... dabi hates it ....

can't cook for shit, makes dinner!: hawks dont know how to cook. his fridge is filled with expired foods. he only ever eats what the commission gives him bc they control his diet, and he's not really a picky eater. he also just never has time to cook sooooo yeah he doesn't have a lot of home cooked meals. but then dabi comes in and he's had to learn how to  do things for himself almost all his life so he definitely knows how to cook at least a lil. he clears out hawks fridge after he basically hangs out in his apartment and sometimes he decides to cook breakfast after hawks let's him sleep over ....... he likes to cook for hawks... secretly tho. if hawks ever brings it up he won't cook for him again for like a few weeks.

pda yes or no: hawks likes to show dabi off. in boba yaoi world where dabi doesnt die and instead goes through rehabilitation process and him and hawks start over as keigo and touya yada yada yada hawks LOVES to show dabi off... he'll be like yes!!! that's my boyfriend!!!!! giving him kisses n everything... dabi hates it. ok he doesn't hate it he does enjoy the attention and does enjoy being shown off but hes just sooo not used to experiencing like .... attention. not used to being pecked on the cheek outta no where, not used to being touched really. i think it's the same for hawks hes not used to physical contact but he deals w it differently in a way where he tries to do it MORE u know. but pre-war during their situationship era umm i think dabi still doesn't like it, and tells hawks to stop doing it until post-war. but even then situationship era they werent very pda anyway, so ya.

overprotective vs chill goin: i think they're both a bit possessive over each other. they both grew up without nothing, dabi more physically and hawks more emotionally. dabi grew up (orrr u know after his coma or wtvvv) living on the streets, used to not having anything nice ever in his life. even before, after enji deemed him unworthy touya got nothin. hawks grew up without having anything that was ever HIS. everything he's ever done or taught or grown up to do was all the commission. all his decisions were under the commission's influence. but hawks and dabi were each other's first thing to want for themselves, to HAVE for themselves. hawks also just instinctively becomes more possessive over dabi, w all his weird ass mate callings n stuff. and i think dabi just yearns for attention and hawks or whatever idk hawks was the first good thing that was ever in his reach, so dabi latched onto it very very quickly.

relationship experience or no relationship experience: they have. absolutely. zero. maybe dabi's had a fewwww hookups every now and then, but very very scarce since no one wants to be sleeping w a villainn!! and also bc he doesn't find use in finding someone since he's sooo dead set on plotting revenge against his father. the reason why hawks is different in this case bc he never meant to involve himself in something romantic w hawks, it just... happened. with hawks ermm i think the commission wouldn't allow him to date at alllll they wanna keep his personal life a minimummm they don't treat him like his own person. i think hes slept w ppl before but only bc it benefited the commission or smth IDK SMTH MESSED UP LIKE THAT yeah idk they dont know how to be good to each other relationship was nor how to properly navigate it. post-war they try though. they try for each other. SIGHHH I HATE THEMMM

horny level: idk. the reason why they start talking more is bc they hook up while exchanging info LOLL there's so much sexual tension between them it's CRAZY. I thinkkk sex is like a super important to their dynamic funny enough bc they begin to trust each other a lot more through it I guess. they need to blow off steam and theyre both weirdly attractive to each other. they match each other's freak!! yes!!! they are switches and i stanndd byyy thisss I dont think they have dom sub undertones i HATE when ppl make hawks a twinky sub stop it leave him alone. dabi's a pillow princess. putting this out there. LOL OK BUT SRSLY I think bottoming for dabi is just smth soooo vulnerable for him that when he eventually lets hawks do it it makes him trust him so much more bc hawks is SO so gentle w him like... idk how to explain it. it just makes sense in my head.

awkwardness level: dabi is one awkward freaking motherfucker. bro grew up alone in filth w the only thing driving him was his hatred for his father. past all the assholey and psycho behavior, he's just sooo freaking awkward. he's a loser. a lameo. he don't know how to speak!!!!! he also just hates people so yay. hawkss on the other hand was raised to know how to deal w the public. raised to interact easily w other pro heros and civilians, raised to be overall super chill and know how to talk to interviewers. hawks is good at talking to people, he knows what to say and when to say it to sweet talk his way into things. so for the most part hawks is never really awkward. keigo, on the other hand is def a tad bit more awkward. of course he's definitely still good at talking n all that bc u can't erase over two decades of training and practicing properly talking to people, but keigo is juusttt he's a lil less hawks. hes more unfiltered, not aiming to please everyone anymore. he lets himself feel other emotions, just lets himself relax n not be on guard all the time.

jealous level: with hawks bird half n all that comes lots of possessive traits... all his weird MATE instincts UGHHH. WEIRDO!!!!!! but yeah I think it just makes him a wee more protective over dabi in the sense that "he's mine!!! my bf!!!!!! go away!!!!!!!" but other than that he's not rlly jealous at all. he's very chill. very yas. DABI ON THE OTHER HAANNNDDD ohhohoohoho ok. like i said b4 hawks is literally the only good thing he's ever gotten to call his. during situationship era he's so fucking jealous bro bc people arent even supposed to know about their secret situationship thing. hawks can walk around w people fawning over him bc they don't knowww of what goes on between him and dabi. dabi HATES it bc hawks is a very popular hero with a shit ton of fans and fangirls and fanboys and whatever and dabi thinks it's the most aggravating thing in the WORLD. but post-war when they make it official dabi shows him tf off. like very subtly tho. in public he'll snake an arm around hawks' waist when fans are around ... or he'll glare at fangirls who get too close n all that IDK he's very jealous bratty silly billy. hawks treats him like a princess.

OKAYYY THATS IT. I did not intend on saying this much LOLLL goes to show how freaking crazy dabihawks is making me and how yaoi is RUINING MY LIFE. okay thanks for reading if u actually read this farr I lovee dabihawkksss okay bye

[screwpinecaprice]

@rosetta-star-was-taken

They're probably the type of couple to PDA

(Not taking requests now. Just going through the ones I procrastinated doing when I did.)

[blind-alchemists]

the thing with Solas is that he's proud, and wise, and clever, and cunning, and regretful, and guilty, and honest when it'd be so much easier to lie, but while canon tells (and shows) us all of that, it doesn't tell us that the other deep-seated emotion that drives him is shame.

shame about what he did, shame about what he's going to do; shame about what he was, shame about what he is; shame about killing his friend; shame about viewing the people of the current Age as shadows; shame about not knowing better; shame about not wanting to know better; shame about a befriended/romanced Inquisitor, shame about the friends he made; shame about hiding in plain sight, shame about not telling the truth; shame about making the same mistake twice, knowing how it'll turn out; shame about his outbursts, shame about not being good enough; shame about feeling attached to the current Thedas, shame about not feeling attached enough to stop; shame about not having anything to be proud of anymore.

I was recently struggling with a scene that didn't go the way I thought it would, until I realized that neither pride nor guilt nor regret nor wariness was the the real motivation; they were just the result, the display, the cover: the real motivation was the shame.

and then everything kind of clicked into place, precisely because pride is such a focal point of Solas' character - if shame is a deep-seated emotion, it contradicts his pride, his wisdom, his intellect; if shame is a deep-seated emotion, it fuels his regret, his guilt, his determination; if shame is a deep-seated emotion, it's the one thing he's actually managed to conceal. (then again, I wonder if he's even aware that what he's feeling is shame.)

and, as I kept thinking about it, it kept making sense: to be ashamed is a grave sentence for someone like Solas, who's entire character revolves around his pride and his wisdom and his regret. he regrets enough of his mistakes to be disappointed, unsatisfied with himself, to be uncomfortable with what he's done; he's wise enough to know that he has no logical reason to feel ashamed for half of these things and yet even more reasons to feel ashamed for the other half; he's proud enough to loathe admitting to this shame. he gets wary if you poke at him, defensive if you manage to get to close to this sore spot, upset if you keep at it. his pride won't allow him to admit to his shame, and his wisdom won't allow him to not admit to it, and his shame won't allow him to speak about it, and that keeps him stuck in this vicious cycle.

[theultracharmingladynoire]

[thegayestdiaz]

i cant believe us buddie shippers are taking away from the sorely needed television representation of male friendships, god knows we don’t have much of those.

these people would have us believe buddie becoming canon would fundamentally shake the foundation of platonic male friendships all around the world.

didn’t you know every single platonic male friendship would evaporate if buck and eddie held hands romantically? Because no one in the history of ever has fallen in love with their best friend.

[sometimes-i-make-mcr-fanart]

yes, i know i left out 'Interlude' but i can only put 12 options

[sugusearrings]

( ' glass children. ' )

violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain. then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams. monster, how should I feel? creatures lie here, looking through the windows i will hear their voices. i'm a glass child, i am hannah's regrets.

— summary: with the star plasma vessel dead, satoru and suguru need you (fem!reader) to lead them to their next path. — genre: angst. heartbreak. — playing: monster by meg & dia — note(s): i'm a sucker for what ifs. i love what ifs. good and bad. i thought about this what if a lot. i wanted to write about this since halloween and didn't have time to post it. i just know suguru and satoru are better than me cause everyone would have gotten this smoke. that's all imma say. anyways, mentions of blood & death. probably some spelling errors here and there. — word count: 866

Those beautiful cerulean blue hues still sparkled as the light down on them.

But the spark of life was gone. They were dull. Lifeless. Emotionless. You never saw them like this before.

You could feel the anxiety swallowing you whole. If someone looked closely, they can see your legs trembling slightly. The two boys in front of you were having a brief conversation but you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t hear anything over the loud sounds of your heart rate picking up at a rapid pace. You couldn’t even hear the round of applause the strangers that crowded around the white hair teenager who held the lifeless body like he did the first time meeting her.

They were clapping for Satoru. Fucking clapping.

You just stared at the crowd in disbelief. What kind of people would approve of this? What kind of people are happy over this? The death of a young girl.

A young girl you considered your friend.

Monsters...monsters... “Suguru...should we kill these guys? The way I am right now I doubt I’d feel anything.” His voice was hoarse. But what made your heart ache was hearing no emotion in his tone. It matched his stare. Dull. Lifeless. Emotionless. Your eyes went over to Suguru. His back was faced to Satoru but you saw his almond shaped eyes were as wide as they can be but soon he pulled himself back together. He always does. He has too. “No. There’s no point. It’ll be dissolved soon enough.” His voice mimic the tone Satoru set. He began to walk towards the door to get out of there. He was sick of the clapping and the smell of the dried blood that lingeried. He was sick of this. He was sick of this life. He was sick of death. He was sick of curses. “No point, huh? Does there really need to be any point to it?” Satoru asked or stated. You couldn’t really tell. You went to follow behind Suguru like a lost puppy but Satoru called out your name.

“Name...”

"Y-yes...Satoru?" your gentle voice trembled.

"What do you think we should do?" Satoru asked you. His eyes didn’t look at you. They just looked straight ahead into nothing. Suguru's eyes went over to you almost forgetting you were even there. Your eyes was puffy and red from crying. You were the emotional one out of the three. That's why Satoru would tease you about being weak. You were a crybaby. But Suguru didn't see an issue with it, he likes you like this. So did Satoru but he wouldn't openly admit it. You reminded him about those certain emotions he swore he couldn’t feel anymore. "Name...what should we do?" Suguru also asked willing to do anything you said. The self proclaimed brains of this trio couldn’t think straight or logically. So it was up to you.

The boys looked over at you for an answer. An answer you didn't have. This wasn't fair. These higher ups using you children. Not caring if you killed one another or died in front of each other. You loved your best friends. Especially Satoru and Suguru, willing to do anything to protect them. Even Riko. They were the only family you have. But would the higher ups mourn you? Would the higher ups sink into a dark hole of depression? Would the higher ups get revenge on you? Or would they replace you like a piece of livestock. They would probably replace you in a matter of days.

They probably would assign Satoru and Suguru a mission while your ashes are still warm.

Satoru and Suguru.

The thought of leaving them behind made you feel sick at the pit of your stomach. How would Satoru handle it? You knew Suguru would break in a matter of days. He bottles so much inside of him it would just burst out. Would they keep it together if you were to die? Or would they lose it themselves.

You know you would lose it if either of them or both of them were to die. Leaving you all alone. To defend yourself. To love yourself. You couldn’t imagine a world without them. The three of you were glued to each other, couldn’t really function without the other.

You could feel the anger replacing the fear and anxiety. On the inside your morals and humanity was being teared apart, stripped away from you the more you stared at Riko's lifeless body in Satoru's arms covered by a thin white cloth. "Name..." Suguru called out to you once more. There wasn’t much time to make a decision. "Kill them," you finally answered losing all emotions you had that day, "kill them all." That's all Satoru needed to hear. His lips formed a wicked grin as Suguru silently summoned the rainbow dragon. You stood watched the blood being splattered on the walls and floors. The screams made you smile like that day on the beach with your best friends.

That’s where your mind was. The day on the beach with Riko and Satoru laughing at the sea cucumber while you, Suguru, and Misato were on the beach towels just watching them with smile of your faces.