#all the brain is there for is to store her personality and some basic shit like being able to talk and see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lunar-wandering · 4 months

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ALRIGHT. LETS GO. LIST OF CHARACTERS IN THAT RIDICULOUS MONSTER OF THE WEEK HERO AND VILLAINS STORY I GOT SO WE CAN GET SOME NAMES FOR EM

PLEASE send me names for these guys cause im dying just referring to them by titles

i didn't want to just go "villain 1, villain 2," so i assigned them colours

we'll start with the ones in the polyam relationship and then do the other characters

Our Hero!! think more magical girl themed than DC Comics. he/him pronouns, transformation item is a butterfly hairclip (and most attacks have a butterfly theme) (the butterfly specifically is a Red Lacewing). In civilian form his hair is purple and his eyes are blue, while in hero form his hair is blonde and his eyes are red. He is SO tired and stressed, but it's only visible in civilian form (aka he's got dark shadows under his eyes and his hair looks like it hasn't seen a brush in months). He goes to university, and works in a tea shop beside the university. Due to an incident early on in which a monster of the week caused him to temporarily be split into two people, since his brain couldn't handle the double perspective of information, he does have another personality- they're basically the same for the most part, but the other him only takes control when he's really stressed out (in the middle of a hard battle, or in the middle of a difficult exam). He's basically just slightly more serious overall. It's harder to surprise him and stuff like that.

Pink Villain!!! tbh he's the funnest one to me. he/him pronouns. when i say pink i mean PINK. symbol is a heart and the monsters he summons cause physical effects. he can drain energy, and give energy to people via kisses (does not need to be on the lips). (the more power he stores, the longer his hair gets). he's just a silly guy, he's having fun with this. the first one to figure out the hero's secret i.d. Actually he knows WAY more than he should. he's like, the secret keeper. he Knows Things. keeps a piece of the Hero's energy that he took early on stored in a locket.

Blue Villain! ???/??? Pronouns (any pronouns). symbol is a teardrop, and the monsters they summon cause psychological effects. nobody knows SHIT about them. not even what they look like, they wear one of those like- hats with a veil so their face and hair is completely covered. (well. i say no-one knows- Pink Villain actually does, but only cause he goaded them into kissing him once.) They don't tend to talk a lot either. In reality they're just shy- and also the only one to have a civilian form. They also attend the university the Hero goes to, albeit they look completely different.

TECHNICALLY she could also be called Pink Villain but for the sake of not confusing people, Yellow Villain!! she/her pronouns. her colour scheme is actually mainly pink but there's enough yellow in there for her to be called this. her symbol is a lightning bolt, and the monsters she summons affect nature itself. arguably the most powerful of the villains excluding the Big Bad. she has an electrified whip, btw. the coolest person here by far. she's the only one capable of one-upping Pink Villain. also the only one that goes into the tea shop to actually get tea and NOT chat with the hero (looking at you Pink Villain).

Okay!! That's the polyam gang!! now. other characters.

The Science Team- there's like, a bunch of people included here, but only two of them are really important. They're on the hero's side, they help him figure out the weaknesses of the monster of the week and all that, but they're also constantly trying to figure out who the hero is. He's close enough with two of them to consider them to be friends, and the team has narrowed down what university he's going to, but not who he is. Funnily enough, the two he's closest to actually started working at the same tea shop he does in order to like, get Info, but they don't suspect him in the slightest.

Purple-Blue Villain, a 16 year old girl who was brainwashed by the big bad at the very beginning of the series. She doesn't have a symbol, nor does she summon monsters. Her main job is to act as a spy on the science team- since she's the daughter of one of them.

The Big Bad, a ruler from another dimension who's big on the idea of having another dimension bend to his will. The Hero's butterfly hairclip actually was brought into this world by him, but he accidentally lost it during portal travel. He brought the other villains here with him as his "trusted generals".

Hero's Clone, he/they pronouns, initially created by the Big Bad just for, yknow, the typical "lets clone the hero" reasons. Was highly unstable and dripping black goo everywhere. After being stabilized, the only differences between him and the hero are that one of his eyes is pink, and the tips of his hair is pink. After stabilization, the hero has him stay with the villains, cause he doesn't trust the science team to NOT try to experiment on them, but he DOES trust the villains to be able to effectively hide them from their boss. sometimes gets involved with plans as the hero's body double to confuse people.

#my ocs

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thegoblinboy · 1 year

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“ You’re Bullshit ”

Basically this is a one-shot to that one idea I posted

Description; Steve’s and Nancy’s relationship ends with the word bullshit, while Eddie and Steve’s blooms from said word.

The word bullshit still made Steve skittish. It was stupid and he felt stupid for being so afraid of one word but it was the same thing Nancy called him drunk in a bathroom. Every morning when he woke up he felt like bullshit. He wasn’t some nice dude, he was idiot jock that would much rather be a asshole to everyone else all because his parents didn’t love him enough. Though the persona is easy to be put up, it just clicks into place when he’s with Robin and he’s convinced Robin is the reason why he’s a better person. Though he didn’t love her in a romantic way he loved her dearly. She had been the first person to catch on to his hatred for the word bullshit. Flinching back when ever she used it in a sentence or when Dustin gets loud and irritated hissing out, “this is such bullshit” Steve still doesn’t fully understand how one night, one person could ruin just one word. He used to use it at least once a day, now his brain refuses to even think about it without cringing a little.

The word doesn’t come up often these days, once in a while one of the kids will spit it out without thinking. Which was fine, Steve wasn’t going to force them to censor themselves around him. They were growing teenagers that went through so much to be standing where they are right in front of him. Robin on the other hand, understood him and made a swear jar at Family Video. When ever one of the kids cursed there was a quarter in the jar. Soon enough the quarters were piling up and the word Bullshit was barely heard. The only person to not get the memo about not cursing in the store was Eddie. Who had a pass for a lot of things when coming in. Late rental? Cleared. Owed money? Cleared. So when he comes in he does curse on occasion. But one day it comes out of nowhere.

“This is such bullshit!”

Steve is already flinching back and curling in himself as Robin goes trying to see what the problem was. He stays frozen on the counter as his thoughts wander back to the party with Nancy. Though he quickly snaps out of them as he moves to try and see what the issue is. Eddies hands are flying in the air and Steve’s so confused.

“What do you mean the rocky horror picture show was Recalled?” The boy is pretty much hissing the last word out. Robin is trying to relax the situation as much as she can. Steve on the other hand knew that he hid most of the copy’s in the back room in a box. Never wanting to throw a good movie away just because some asshole didn’t like it. Eddies about to go on a rant but Steve’s quick to interrupt him. Getting a soft glare sent his way.

“That’s the one with Tim Curry right? Where he gets all dressed up in make up and shit?” He asks furrowing his eyebrows hands on his hip. Looking at Robin for confirmation as she nods her head. On a rare occasion something with LGBTQ+ themes came in and Steve felt like shit for just throwing it out. Which was the reason for the hidden box. Steve snorts and gets dirty looks from both teens. Waving his hand he gestures for the two to follow him. He could hear Eddie’s chains clinking behind him and Robins braincells firing up trying to think about what he could have possibly hidden from her. Huffing a little bit he moves and he waits for them to take a step back as he lifts a pretty heavy box up on one arm and picks the second box up with his right. For once his strength as come to good use. He moves and plots both on the counter as he moves searching for said movie. Grinning as he pulls out four copies.

“Well Munson, I have The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Rocky horror Picture Show, The Rocky horror Picture Show again, and oh my! You’ll never guess what I just found! The Rocky -” before he can finish the man in front of him is snatching a copy from his wide eyed. Robin is doing the same as she looks at him like he has three heads. “What? I also have Al Pacino in drag if that peaks your interest?” He says in a teasing tone. Picking up Cruising.

“Oh my god, Steve Harrington you are my god. Let me get on my knees and worship you!” Eddie jokes but he’s already dropping to his knees to start bowing.

“Oh shut up, and keep the movie. Go through the box if you want there might be a couple of other movies in there.” He hums as he moves to go start his lunch break.

The second time Steve hears Eddie use the word Bullshit it hits a little closer to home. Eddies currently wasted off his ass in Steve’s living room. Nancy and Jonathan were in the guest room and poor Robin was knocked out on the couch. The metal head keeps stumbling around that Steve was getting nervous he was going to crack his head open. He doesn’t think and his arms moving wrapping around the others waist pulling him closer. His breath nearly being knocked out of him when the other does that thing he likes to do. Lean his head back and smile like he was in on some hidden joke Steve didn’t know about. Steve can smell the smoke and alcohol from the others breathe and his nose scrunches up a bit but he doesn’t mind. Eddies rambling about something DnD related. Tossing his hands around as he excitedly explains the campaign to Steve, who is happily listening. The guy doesn’t even realize he’s walking or pretty much being led to Steve’s room. When he does he stops mid sentence seeing the ugly wallpaper. He bites his lip as Steve feels awkward.

“I’ll be sleeping on the floor just in case you need anything.” Steve says with a soft smile forcing him into his bed. There’s hidden jokes there and he expects Eddie to say one. But he doesn’t instead Eddie’s eyes land back on Steve’s face.

“This is such Bullshit.” He slurs and Steve’s freezing tensing up. Eddie doesn’t notice as he slurs a little more trying to gather words but none of them are coming out right. Almost as if he’s overwhelmed. Steve’s hands start to shake and he moves pulling the blanket over the struggling boy. Not saying a word as he fights to get the other situated.

“Stevie, this is bullshit, you shouldn’t be this cool and nice. You’re making me feel stupid for thinking you were a asshole.” Eddies whining a bit as a hand moves to the others face cupping it gently. “I can’t believe I’m currently in Steve Harrington’s bed in his house and not being hate crimed.” Eddie rambles out as his eyes are glossy and he’s trying to find the right words. He pauses for a second. “Stevie you aren’t bullshit, I’m bullshit for believing that every preppy jock was some asshole who didn’t have any feelings. You’re my favorite jock baby, and I would gladly take a basketball in the face if it means I can be near you.” He’s slurring out. Steve’s face goes pink for a different reason and his hands stop shaking. Relaxing under the others hand as he watches the other carefully.

For once the word Bullshit doesn’t chip at him. He bites his lip as he relaxes a bit feeling tears in his eyes. Eddie doesn’t let him stay standing up for long as he pulls him into the bed. Wrapping his limbs around the other as he giggles. The serious moment gone as he hums. “And I think it’s bullshit that you think I’m letting you sleep on the floor. I’m sorry king steve but you must share your bed with little old me.” He slurs out as he buries his face in the others shoulder.

Steve snorts but he lets the other use him as a pillow. And yeah, maybe Eddie is right. He’s not bullshit, Nancy was.

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localvoidcat · 1 year

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PLEASE TELL I NEED MORE OF THIS AU TBH

okay so the basic plotline (at least my version of it). i'm gonna split this into a couple different sections due to the sheer amounts of side plots. for quick reference the main roles are:

thatcher: a lieutenant with a secret identity as the hero firefly ruth: thatcher's coworker and the friend of both of them, who grows suspicious of thatcher's explanations for things. she's definitely not hiding anything of her own

dave: a tech store manager that pretends to be a villain named meowtherboard evelin: dave's coworker, who later joins him as an "evil henchman". she uses this solely to get back at adam murray for fun

sarah: dave's niece. she's the main person that works on a youtube channel dedicated to exposing the identities and news behind heroes in mandela city adam: evelin's ex, and one of the people from said videos. in between trying to film blurry fights and running away from flamethrowers, he ends up learning about his own abilities. jonah: adam's friend, and the other person from these videos. sarah sends the two out into the field to chase after the heroes. it's usually jonah who does the filming while adam runs around shouting.

mark: sarah's older brother, and dave's nephew. he's a college student that visits mandela city during vacations, but tends to stay away due to the sheer chaos of the heroes and villains. cesar: mark's friend. we think. he tends to show up whenever mark does. gabriel: the head of the villain league. his goal is to take over the entirety of mandela city, typical supervillain style. he views himself as a god, due to his religious background. he's seen as the most dangerous due to his powers involving the brain. preacher: a villain working under the league, and a former nun at st gabriel's church. her power is that of separating a person's power from them, manifesting it into a physical form. this form must be caught to regain the missing powers. the faceless lady: another villain. her "name" is that given to her by locals, often her victims seconds before being afflicted. her power, as expected, is the ability to steal peoples faces for a short period of time, during which they are still alive but robbed of all their main senses. nonami: another villain. their power is a useful one, being the ability to shapeshift into any person, albeit in an uncanny way. their tell is the mark across their face that remains in every form. n: another villain. his power is considered strange and somewhat useless, being the ability to teleport into the room of anyone laying down. it's not considered useless later on. six: a villain, formerly a show runner by the name of stanley. his power, presumably gained from a work incident, is the ability to travel through televisions, and bring things through the screens with him.

o'brien: the pastor at st. gabriel's church. unfortunately, his workplace is often invaded by the villain league on every day except sunday. jude: adam's absent father. he briefly attempts to pose as a hero. it doesn't work. he sells cryptocurrency to adam's great dismay.

with the roles written down, here's a plot summary:

thatcher has some kind of accident involving electricity/a lightbulb, probably electrocuting himself in the process. fun fact this scene is inspired by a story i read back in 2020 that got deleted and has never left my mind since

over time he starts realizing. oh shit i can do stuff now. there's only one logical course of action

this logical course of action is to take on the persona of this bug-themed hero named firefly because he's a fucking loser. love him for that. he can't actually fly he can control artificial light and that's it

his main reason for doing this is because of the rampant actions of the villains appearing in the city. i've listed them before but each of them plays a role in the story

as he begins looking for information, he encounters his first foe: a cat-themed tech wizard that interferes with his missions all of the time. this person - who introduces themself as meowtherboard - claims to be a villain, and firefly/thatcher wholeheartedly believes them. despite them not doing anything malicious. or really doing much aside from cool tech tricks and meowing. but surely, this is some malicious villain that's trying to overthrow him. how vile

all the meanwhile, he's trying to uphold his normal life as a newly promoted lieutenant. ruth begins to notice how tired thatcher is every day, and gets suspicious over time. he also talks to his friend dave, the manager of the tech store, who notices something off as well. he could never tell them about this though. not like they'd respond badly. he just doesn't want to. he thinks it's silly

and here's where dave comes in! he's the one masquerading as the "villain" meowtherboard. he's not associated with the villain league in any way - he doesn't even have powers as a matter of fact - but the opportunity was too fun to pass up. he has no idea who this firefly character is, but it's become habit for him to show up and talk to them.

one day, evelin - still his coworker in this - walks in to find him working on his costume. he frantically tries to explain it to her, but to his surprise she's...oddly chill about it? she offers to help him out and he agrees, giving her the role of his evil henchman. she loves this, half because it's very fun and half because she has an arsenal of makeshift weapons at her disposal to mess with her ex.

speaking of exes, we're introduced to adam, sarah, and jonah. together, they run a youtube channel dedicated to the documentation, exposing, and information of the heroes and villains in mandela city. they are greatly disliked by said superheroes and villains due to their constant appearances at the worst possible times.

firefly views them as a threat, and tries to avoid them as much as possible. he often fails at this.

this is beginning to be much longer than intended so i'll try to explain things + fun information quickly.

firefly and meowtherboard often get stuck in situations together, often involving villains. there's a couple scenarios where they're trapped and have to depend on each other to escape. what starts as a meeting between bickering masked individuals slowly forms into something almost like a friendship, to the point where when meowtherboard gets injured during a fight, firefly rushes over to help them. this is how the reveal happens, and they realize who the other is. this is much later in the au and they don't have much time to discuss this before gabriel lunges to attack again

each villain is encountered separately, aside from a large fight much much later in the au. meowtherboard gets their face stolen for fifteen minutes, and firefly only realizes this when meowtherboard takes off their mask to reveal a completely blank face. this is before the reveal and is mostly played as a quick call. they also have encounters with the preacher, where firefly loses their power momentarily and has to catch a literal firefly, as well as encounters with n, six, nonami (who takes on firefly's appearance but only as thatcher, which shakes him to his core), and finally, gabriel.

adam realizes he has powers later on in the au. this is during a blunt rotation with jonah where the blunt starts levitating and spinning wildly in the air. they chalk up the glowing purple eyes and the magical blunt to the drugs at first, but later they realize it was real. adam tries not to use his power much due to the horrific headaches he gains from them.

there's another hero that firefly and meowtherboard are often shown up by, this being a cowboy-themed hero with the ability to "mark" people with their gun. shortly after the reveal between thatcher and dave, this hero shows up to help them fight against gabriel, and ends up revealing herself as ruth. this leads to even more confusion seconds before the three nearly get their asses kicked by the man with mechanical wings again

mark and cesar show up at some point, often just to remark on the happenings. dave has to balance being a good uncle, along with a good store runner, along with a good villain. or a bad villain. he isn't sure what he is. we get some mark and cesar interactions that explain their dynamic a bit, outside of any hero stuff.

adam and jonah do at multiple points nearly expose the identity of firefly, but it always ends in some unfortunate mishap. a split second shot of their face gets deleted on accident, or an audio recording of the hero's real voice is overtaken by the sound of jonah being attacked by a pigeon, or a piece of fabric from a torn costume flutters away in the wind never to be seen again. they are having a horrible time.

o'brien, being a friend of dave's, is constantly being chased off by the villains. dave tries to comfort him, or help out as his villain persona, but this never works. o'brien isn't sure how he hasn't been fired yet.

as mentioned earlier, jude has a brief arc where he decides being a hero would be super cool. his costume consists of dvds duck taped to a black shirt and pants, and a cape he found in a spirit halloween. he gets booed away by firefly and meowtherboard. he tries to sell his new startup concepts to dave every day and gets chased out with a broom. adam denies any relation with him.

this is all i can think of right now, but any questions are welcome! i'm still working this out, as seen by my ramblings above, but i love this au very very much and hope to make more content for it later

#tmc superhero au #it got way longer than expected! did not mean for that to happen

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softpine · 1 year

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ahh hello! to satiate my insanity will u please answer some of my questions about your sims? i personally would love to know more about them, for example, do any of your sims have any small details/quirks that we are unaware of? like, lisps? stutters? do they walk really fast? waddle? limp? do they secretly have 6 toes? 3 nipples? do they believe in a certain superstition? ,etc. i must know pls 😔

ohhh i love these questions!! thank you so much for asking 💖 i'm just going to list them in random order as they pop into my brain fjksjds

casper has suffered many concussions which have caused him problems such as spacing out randomly and aphasia (difficulty translating thoughts into words), though that usually only happens now when he's stressed. it doesn't put a huge strain on his daily life, but it does freak him out whenever it happens.

caroline used to be able to cartwheel, but now she only attempts it when she's drunk. she's successful about 50% of the time.

asa talks to himself constantly. even before he started speaking to finn or other ghosts, he has always kept a running commentary for himself out loud. it's why most people at school think he's weird and don't try to talk to him :(

finn loved journaling when he was alive, and he used to write notes in the margins of books constantly. now that he can't really do that (he can write, but it would take more effort than it's worth), he also talks out loud. he did it even before asa was able to hear him (he was basically using asa as his journal lol). they really just... complete each other.

this will actually come up later, but jada thinks entirely in images rather than having an internal monologue, which explains why she loves painting & reading, because she can see it all clearly. elaine is the complete opposite; it's difficult for her to even conjure up vague mental images if she tries.

unsurprisingly, danny sings/hums to himself constantly. he's always making up silly songs especially for kids (this one is actually canon). the only problem is that he makes no effort to sound good when he's just goofing off, so he really just annoys the shit out of people.

beth does so much yoga that she's like constantly sitting in weird, seemingly impossible positions. and if she's standing, you can bet that she's taking the opportunity to stretch or do wall sits. she doesn't even notice she's doing it.

stevie's brain works faster than her mouth so she's constantly tripping up on words. as a result, it sometimes sounds like she has a lisp.

mikaela is a super fast walker, mostly because she's a nurse and she always has to be somewhere fast. but it's funny to watch her HUSTLE through the grocery store for no reason.

one of coco's front teeth is fake because she got her tongue pierced when she was a teenager and she didn't wait for it to heal before biting into a piece of candy and chipping the hell out of her tooth. but she kept the piercing at the behest of her dentist lol

#i wasn't planning on doing everyone but then... i did #when i say i think about my story every 20 minutes i am NOT joking sjkfjsd #silentgrim #asks #nonsims #brandi answers #camellia ask

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chasing-obsession · 1 year

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Arknights Lore Shit - Amiya Module Part 1

Amiya’s module dropped on CN and holy shit is it a big one with SO MANY FUCKING IMPLICATIONS. Beware for absolutely MASSIVE spoilers.

As always, everything I say is just my own personal interpretation of the text. Original source of the module can be found here: https://aceship.github.io/AN-EN-Tags/akhrchars.html?opname=Amiya

EDIT: Corrected a thing because I forgot that Terra had 2 moons.

The basic summary of the module is that a certain individual is reviewing memories. Probably watching space ships launch up into space. Then the memories come into focus, a giant metal sphere floating in space, waiting for it’s father. The viewer feels tears forming and the memories change to the birth of a child, the viewer’s child and all the feelings and emotions that come with witnesses said birth. Then the memories end and there’s a bunch of people yelling, asking the viewer what they saw. Did it work?

"Check his brain, I told you we shouldn't be in such a hurry, we've only just established a protocol channel for communication with the database! This has only just completed the first successful delivery!"

It turns out the viewer was actually witnessing someone ELSE’S memory. The memory of a planetary engineer.

"I said ...... I never actually used to like you planetary engineers very much, I thought you were doing flashy things ...... But I saw it. I saw your past, I shared your past, I felt your emotions, and it was ...... unparalleled."

The project, code named DWDB-221E, appears to be a repository of human history up to a certain point but relying on memory instead of texts and videos. I’m not sure why memory except somehow...

"We've learned enough, except that in the future, they'll never find an excuse to tinker with history."

The same group of scientists then debate on what to name it. They don’t want to keep calling it DWDB-221E, it sounds too cold. The scientist arguing for the name refers to the AMa project. There’s an argument over what to name it and one of the proposed names is “Black Crown” but ultimately, the lead suggests calling it “The Survival of Civilization."

That’s the summary.

Here’s the my theorizing:

First, we now know that whomever created Kal’tsit is also the same group of scientists who created the Black Crown. We know this because Alty calls Kal’tsit AMa-10 in HoSF OF-EX6:

Alty: AMa-10 Dr. Kal'tsit, please tell me... How were those special Ægirians born?

We also know this because of this line from Amiya’s module:

“I know there's a prescribed format for project numbers, just like AMa“

Second: So we have confirmation that one of the two moons hanging over Terra is fake. The question is why. What is it for? Is THAT what’s storing all the data and where Originium comes from? What’s with the fake sky then? Was Terra a terraformed system adapted to be more hospitable to human life and both the fake sky and the second moon were created to maintain the balance? Or something else? To hide it from whatever unknown entity lies Beyond? Are the humans fleeing from something or did they just really fuck up Earth? Is Enfield actually a prequel?

Third. I’m going to put money down that the Doctor and Priestess are both part of the original ‘humans’ that created the Black Crown and Kal’tsit. Most likely they are their descendants and the Doctor is the last survivor, having been kept in a pod and left buried after disaster struck, probably with or near the Rhodes Island Landship and then excavated at some point, where they basically they lived their life as a professor and researcher of Originium before Theresa dragged them into her war.

Fourth. This is the big one. The Black Crown and how it relates to the Sarkaz. When discussing what the Confessarii’s arts were all about, I had once theorized that the Sarkaz Collective Memory was less some nebulous collective unconscious and more like a singular mass cloud storage where all the memories were just uploaded with maybe a random file name and no organization.

The fact that my analogy is... most likely not an analogy and ACTUALLY WHAT IS GOING ON amuses the fuck out of me. Anyway. If all this memory is uploaded, it needs to be stored and that’s a MASSIVE amount of data that needs to be stored and there’s no way Terrans wouldn’t have found artifacts unless... said data is actually stored in Originium. It’s a semi-organic material that’s capable of self-replicating and we know from Ptilopsis’s module and her first Op Rec, that it’s actually capable of storing massive amounts of data. But not only that, but the Originium as a memory storage device is linked to ancient Sarkaz legend.

From the Module:

If Originium really has the ability to store information, and we are able to decode and translate it, then Columbia's science and technology will surge forward by leaps and bounds!

I've encountered a bottleneck. Current electronic computational devices are not able to handle the enormous amount of information contained within Originium. I need a more suitable computational carrier...

From the Op Rec:

???: All of this information is consistent with our hypothesis.

???: With these data on hand, Rhine Lab's newest results now directly correlate with the ancient Sarkaz legend. I don't think this is an accident.

???: And if our hypothesis is verified, it will revolutionize everything we know about Originium.

???: People think that Originium is a source of energy, a calamity; They think it can be used as a weapon, with only narrow applications outside of that. But the truth may be something far greater.

???: If Originium really 'stores information,' just think about what that implies. From Originium, we will be able to read the story of this world, spanning hundreds or thousands of years, maybe even more...

This brings us back to the Sarkaz and the Black Crown. The Black Crown is clearly device created to interface with all this data and the Sarkaz are clearly somehow genetically “in tune” with interfacing with the Black Crown and these stored memories on a level that other races in Terra can’t. I suspect this is also what makes them more susceptible to oripathy than other races. So if the Sarkaz basically connected 24/7 to the data bank and have one-way write access and the Black Crown is the only way to easily interface with the data bank, then it’s understandable why the Lord of Fiends aka King of the Sarkaz is a title that can be passed on to pretty much anyone, because it goes with the Black Crown.

Amiya is the current wearer of the Black Crown, having inherited it from Theresa but with a caveat. Because Amiya is not Sarkaz, she appears to issues interfacing with the crown properly, thus the suppression rings created by Theresa and Kal’tsit. (You could also argue that the Crown is also Amiya’s arts unit and because of it’s unique properties to not just read but also ‘access’ memories, she’s able to use it to do things like copy Ch’en’s swordsmanship.)

Which brings us to the Confessarii and what all of this means for THEM. I once theorized that the Confessarii’s arts work by being able to access the Sarkaz Collective Memories and based on what Salus said in Chapter 11, it sounds like the Confessarii arts can bypass the Black Crown entirely and tap directly into the data bank. The issue is that it’s basically like a script kiddie who hacked into a heavily encrypted database and thus can only read fragments of the data stored. Shining and her brother’s arts are a little more advanced. From my readings, it sounds like they have more than just read access. They can download a whole snapshot. But just a snapshot, a moment in time, not the whole memory.

Only the King of Sarkaz can do that via the Black Crown. Even more interesting is that the King of Sarkaz can basically utilize their connection to the database to manipulate the memories and feelings of all the other Sarkaz. Basically it sounds they have root access and can either edit or upload specific memories to illicit specific emotional responses.

There’s a TON of implications for this. Shit like ‘what’s Nightingale’s whole deal then’? And ‘what does this mean for Kirsten’s dreams of breaking out into space?’ But also ‘WHY THE FUCK DO THE SEABORNE REMEMBER THE NIGHT SKY?!’

I’ll continue my musings in part 2.

#arknights #arknights lore #arknights spoilers #i cite my sources #but holy shit y'all #this is like the motherlode of lore dumps #i can't wait for what this means in chapter 12

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dumbunn13 · 4 days

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A few months back, I abruptly ended up switching career paths. Long story short, I was working in a high anxiety field and needed to leave for my mental health. So now, while I'm back in school for a new field, I'm working retail at my local "nerd store." You name a nerd hobby, we carry it. Comics, ttrpgs, miniatures, and figurines. You get my point, nerd shit.

By proxy of just being a woman who works at nerd store, I tend to get a lot of special attention my male coworkers don't. And despite the logical part of my brain saying from personal experience that there's a good chance none of these guys actually want to know me because I'm some weird stand-in for their manic pixie bullshit... I kind of secretly like the attention, AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!!!

In defense of all the guys that flirt (or attempt to) with me have been very respectful, cheeky at times, but never crossed a line. This would be a completely different conversation if they were harassing me. The Brat would send them running.

I just hate that anytime it happens, my mood perks up a little. I knew I had a praise kink, but really?! Just basic ass validation from a man and I get a confidence boost?! What kind of Pick Me bullshit is this?! Who knew you could get ugly duckling syndrome in your 30s!!

What's also not helping to is that the only girl I ever see come in without a partner is a hot goth girl who plays Magic and I fucking stutter every time I talk to her. Just feels a little like salt in the wounds.

#🐇 thoughts #attention please!#praise k!nk

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intersex-questions · 8 months

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Hey! Wanted to ask, are there any intersex variations that cause early puberty? We started puberty at around 3/4 years old and were further in puberty that our older sister, who was 11 at the time (and going through average puberty). We asked our mom about it, and she got incredibly defensive and upset before she said that she stopped us from eating pizza and ice cream and made us eat fresh fish, which made it stop. I don't really believe her because she lies ALOT (which my entire family is aware of), especially about things regarding my childhood. Not only that, we were poor at the time and we couldn't even afford regular fish from stores much less for fresh fish which was wayy more expensive and my siblings and I don't remember having much fish as a kids unless it was given to us by non-family memebers. And around that time, she started taking us to the doctor to get very painful shots even tho we weren't sick and had all of our vaccines already. Even with all that stuff she claims to have done puberty still didn't really stop. Quite literally, the only thing we didn't experience till we were 12 was shark week, and we started growing boobs at 3, but it stopped and started back at around 8. Apart from that, we had been experiencing everything else since we were 3. It was really difficult and painful growing up like that. People thought it was okay and acceptable to treat us like shit and also adultify us. When we were a pre-teen, certain stuff became much more noticeably masculine looking and we also think we may have hirutism (did the ferriman-gallwey thing and got 23) which also led to our parents becoming way worse to us in regard to this and to more harassment from others. Ah shit im kinda rambling sorry I hope this makes sense

(also regarding the we/our's in this, we have DID and use we/our and i/my interchangeably)

Don't worry, you're making sense! No need for apologies. Rambling is welcome on this blog and is actually very beneficial to me helping and answering your questions/concerns.

(Since you're a system, please note that when I use "you" as a collective to refer to the whole system or all the individuals who relate to or are experiencing what you sent in the ask!)

First off, I'm very sorry about all the hardships you've had to go through. That's awful, and no one deserves that. You are wonderful the way you are.

Now, to answer your questions!

Precocious puberty is the term for early puberty. This is what you experienced. There have been some studies that connect eating fish to delaying puberty, which is why I could think your mother did this.

If you were getting shots, you were likely going through GnRH analogue therapy. GnRH refers to gonadotropin releasing hormone. Gonadotropins are a hormone that affect the gonads (sex organs), gametes (sex cells), and sex horomones. Essentially, these delay development in puberty, but how effective they are and how much they work varies from person to person.

For you, I cannot say if this was medically necessary or not. It depends on the body.

Precocious puberty in itself is often a symptom of or comorbid (commonly occurring with) another condition, however pinpointing its cause is often difficult to impossible. So, basically, yes, it can be because of an intersex variation. It can be caused by or connected to thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and/or ovarian issues/problems/variations, which commonly are connected to intersex conditions.

It can also be caused by brain tumors or brain injury, although I doubt that that is the case since you are still alive and fine today and didn't mention having sustained any brain injuries.

McCune–Albright syndrome is a condition that can cause precocious puberty. It is a genetic disorder that effects the bones, endocrine system, and skin. It is a mosaic condition, which means that there is a presence of more than one genetic line for a given genotype (like a given little genetic message, usually organisms are expected to only have one genotype). It is often characterized by fibrous dysplasia (disorder where bone/marrow has fibrous tissue which leads to it being weak and being susceptible to expansion), endocrine diseases, hyperpigmentation of the skin, hyperthyroidism (excessive thyroid hormones), hypophosphatemia (low phosphate levels in the blood), excess growth hormones, and very rarely Cushing's syndrome (a condition characterized by prolonged exposure to cortisol and glucocotoroid.)

Besides that and certain kinds of tumors/brain lesions, hypothyroidism is the only known cause of true precocious puberty as far as I know.

This is the only thing that could be an intersex variation for an individual that I can think of that has significantly precocious puberty as a symptom. However, I'm sure there are other intersex variations with precocious puberty as symptoms that I'm not thinking of. Many intersex variations have early or late puberty as symptoms.

Precocious puberty can also be caused by langerhans cell histiocytosis and tuber cinereum hamartoma, neither of which are related to intersex conditions as far as I know. (Other than the fact that tumors can affect development and hormonal levels.)

Now, besides all that, I'd just like to say that if you feel if your life experiences are intersex, then you are completely allowed to label as such or assert that you are intersex. Intersex is a term open to anyone who is born with or naturally develops abnormalities in their primary or secondary sex characteristics that fall outside of the understood commonly propagated binary sex model used for humans. Personally, I consider hirsutism as an inherently intersex variation all on its own. Some people believe you need a specific diagnosis to be intersex, but I am of the opinion that, if you feel it fits your life experience, then you are welcome to use it. You never need a specific diagnosis for an intersex variation to be intersex. I also think that precocious puberty can be inherently intersex if an individual knows that it gives them an intersex experience.

I hope that I managed to answer your questions and concerns well enough. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Cheers!

EDIT: Early puberty (not necessarily precocious puberty, but early puberty in general) is often associated with NCAH and LOCAH, which could make sense for you considering you have hirsutism. I talk about NCAH/LOCAH here. Thank you to @chaoticmellows for reminding me! I knew I was forgetting something major. In all actuality, NCAH/LOCAH is the most likely candidate if you did have a specific intersex variation, although you know your body best!

#asks #questions #intersex #mccune-albright syndrome #precocious puberty #hypothyroidism

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orbleglorb · 9 months

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i am once again holding my hands out for you to talk about garages prequel

>:)

so i just realized i never talked about tillman and declan in the prequel. they're online friends with mike. they met on xbox live* when mike beat their asses in minecraft bedwars or some shit. and then tillman dmed mike with a vague threat. like.

t_hendersilly69: i know ur fucking cheating. you better STOP. my mom owns microsoft she'll kick your ass

gleefulgolem13: well that can't be right, because MY mom owns microsoft

t_hendersilly69: what.

t_hendersilly69: holy sit

t_hendersilly69: GLEEFULGOLEM13. MY LONG LOST BROTHER

gleefulgolem13: holy sit

t_hendersilly69: im telling our mom you're bullying me

and they've been friends ever since! declan and mike became friends thru tillman. they don't talk super often, but they'll play together maybe once a month. they convinced mike to download league of legends & he had it for 14 minutes before deleting it mid-match

some other lore that won't come up soon, but i want to share:

tot clark works at a small supermarket (like fred's, if you've ever been there. if not, then like walgreens or cvs, but if you made the pharmacy way less important). i didn't want to do the mummy interp. in this fic, tot is a kid that died and came back as a zombie like 20 minutes later. so everyone thinks they're still alive and they're desperately trying to hide that they're a zombie and have to, Iike, eat guts and brains to survive

shaquille torres is friends with derrick. shaq lives in seattle. he goes to school & works there but will sometimes drive down to visit derrick & co. their families are friends. shaq works at a record store/music shop in seattle

teddy works at a coffee shop. actually, teddy's just busy all the fucking time. he never gets to stop and just do nothing. his parents want him involved in every extracurricular possible and he physically doesn't know how to rest so he just keeps going. he's in all honors/AP classes also.

allison abbott is a scenmo kid & really loves invader zim. she loves mcr but claims that they're not "a real emo band," and whenever someone asks for a real emo band, she lists 5 bands nobody has heard of. she used to be a lot edgier but has toned down quite a bit. partially because she told teddy she wanted a coffee "as dark as her soul" and he just gave her a cup of irish cream with like a tablespoon of coffee in it, and there was no way she was coming back from that

i have siblings figured out for mike and derrick (and technically jaylen, but she's an only child). mike is the middle triplet and has an older and younger sister. so it's gabby (oldest sibling), ethan (older triplet), mike (middle triplet), phineas aka phin (younger triplet), and ava (youngest sibling). i've always headcanoned that mike has a large family and is sort of brushed to the side because he "doesn't have problems" (phin) or "isn't trying to get his start in the world" (gabby and ethan) or "literally ten years old" (ava). basically, always surrounded by people but still lonely. derrick has one younger sister named Nora. she's like 12 or something and loves to be a nuisance. both ava and nora think that jaylen is literally the coolest person to ever exist, and think mike and derrick are super boring.

*i have never owned an xbox. pls don't clown on me if it doesn't work like this

#asks 4 sasha #garages prequel

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elekinetic · 1 year

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Quick! Tag your top favorite byler blogs (as many as you want) and tell my why you love them in one line to spread positivity on the dashboard and make someone's day!

FINALLY! THE TIME HAS COME!

this is in no particular order

first up. my wheelies. my ride or dies. call it traumabonding or whatever u want but these mfs know secrets of mine they better take to the grave

@hawkinsp0st, my first real friend on here. currently on hiatus but truly a kindred spirit. single-handedly changed the way i looked at the show with their hellfire color post. u simply get me and i miss ur brain!!

@ratt-duffer deserves so much more credit than you all give them. he just gets this show so well and has such well written analyses, but more than that, is just a fun fuckin person to exist around.

@willsglock my sister in glock. what can i say. she has permanently altered the way i think about brba and bcs. refreshingly honest in a way i wish more people were. occasionally breaks hearts w her writing.

@crazycoven no. 1 weezer stan in my heart ❤️ jk but fr hayden is such a cool person with some of the best themes and best takes on this site. very glad to know him

@tntozier deserves financial compensation for what theyve given to this tag. one of the brightest souls on here. everything he posts is a gift and u all should be so lucky 🤨 thank u for screaming abt st puzzle games and convincing me to download. i blame you for my crippling addiction.

ok onto some of my other favorite geniuses on here <3

@quinnick his energy??? immaculate. thank u for putting reddie content on my dash. u are so sweet and are the only valid ask hoarder. yes ofc i will send you more asks!! you deserve it!! even if you won’t stop making ur mom jokes.

@madcleradin just fucking gets it. she has never made a single post i did not wholeheartedly agree with. her understanding of the characters and the dynamics….phenomenal. also genuinely hilarious. very grateful to be mutuals w one sierra loveqbrl madcleradin

@mlchaelwheeler is a certified genius and is single-handedly responsible for getting me to restart succession. we don’t chat very often but when we do it is so much fun. she always puts such good posts i’ve never seen before on my dash and her analyses are genius. sarah’s blog is a gift to this site!!!

@chiquitablanquita changed my life with her poetry fic. i just. wow. wow. oh my god. yeah basically yeah. oh my god. i am in awe of you for the work u do outside of fandom and for the absolute insane talent u so gracefully share with us.

@eightieslesbian is The Gif Maker on here. her visions…holy shit. yes her gifs of my demos and the bitch meredith brooks gifset haunt my dreams bc she is the sweetest person on here and the fact that she DOWNLOADED MY MUSIC?? hello my heart is broken in two. but can we talk about HER original stuff?? HELLO?? she is so insanely talented and her vision is just….omg. OMG.

@elmaxed lumi and i don’t chat all that much but her brain is just so correct always and forever. her writing is wonderful and her energy is stellar. always happy to see her on my dash.

@wibble-wobbegong is such a fun blog to follow. he’s just such a cool dude and has such a nuanced understanding of mike. plus a great signature blog theme. dude has a BRAND, mad respect

@astrobei i cannot believe we are mutuals. i CANNOT BELIEVE we are mutuals. genuinely one of my favorite writers on ao3 and i still fangirl a little everytime we interact. like. the fics….holy shit. HOLY shit. she has such a firm understanding of the characters and has never written anything that doesn’t feel true to the show, regardless of AU or canon compliance. hanleia costume fic my beloved. good god they are such a talented writer.

@smoosnoom the scream i scrumpt when i got the follow notification. first fic writer i actually learned how to use the “subscribe” function on ao3 for. there are no words for the absolute batshit amount talent stored in this tumblr blog. ik y’all have read i’m tearing you asunder (cue “uh yeah, i’ve read the classics” tiktok audio) but every fic in their fix it series….jesus christ. run up that hill to go read rn.

@strangeswift is in a category of her own. abby u are a twin flame and i am so glad to know u. u simply understand me!! y’all she is such a fuckin phenomenal writer and is SO CEREBRAL in the way she approaches the show. her mike s4 pov snippets live rent free in my head. truly the only person who could get me to voluntarily read angst. NEVER misses with her takes and is just. so smart. SO SMART. the most supportive mfer on here fr. you guys aren’t ready for milevenvision or any of the other stuff you should be so lucky for abby to put out.

ok i could talk about my friends and moots for hours and i definitely DEFINITELY missed ppl but pls just know i follow blogs i love love love the content of and if we are mutuals i value u to the moon and back <333

#friendship is magic fr #also shoutout to georgia dungeons-are-too-cold who is NOT a byler blog but is one of my best friends #thank you for listening to me infodump about byler. i will do it more when i am home >:)#byler

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sleepydross · 5 months

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Chapter One, Route_A: Clerks, Too A Chapter of the 'SEER' or 'Spontaneous Edifice Emergence / Reification' Storyline. "Chapter One, Route_B" coming when I can. CW: Damage to fingers, mutilation, body horror, disturbing imagery, fleshpunk concepts, blood and injury, surreal terror / horror, harsh language etc.

Song Title: Everything Burns Eventually (I think)

Description: A person whose voice sounds vaguely masculine sings about how fire (Passion?) is churning and burning (Lyrics specifically mention 'churning and burning,' like, as part of the chorus. It's… weird.) and tearing across the land, and consuming everyone that it touched. It sounded like a raging orgy, or something. It started to be a little… more blunt than most modern songs about sex and horny shit, uh, in the last verse, from what I remember. I just remember… I remember it struck me as odd. No one else seemed to notice, but it was… strange.

I remember the lyrics said, they said, "And the fire's burnin' and churnin', burnin' and churnin' and all the fat little kids sizzle like they're on a griddle."

I almost said "What the fuck?" when my brain processed it, and then… The song was over. After that it was, I don't know, some pop shit. I'd heard it before, it played like, once a night when I was on shift, you know? It was normal.

I thought maybe, maybe it was just stress, you know? I thought I imagined it. Maybe I did.

The doors slid open, and another customer walked in. Jackie looked up, and said, cheerfully, "hello!"

Mostly, the cheer wasn't fake. J liked xis job, liked working the night shift… liked that every single hour that passed was another hour of pay to make xis life better. Fake cheer was only a necessity because of the exhaustion. Xe hadn't slept very well, during the day before - nightmares had assailed, and eventually won ground, in Jackie's mind. They'd been real bastards, too, pervasive and cruel.

They were snakey, awful fucking things and xe'd woken up screaming loud enough to piss off xis roomate.

"Great deals!" the customer replied, cheerfully. She was a nice looking older lady, hair dyed a bright purple - scrubs indicated she was a nurse, and the fact that it was two in the morning indicated she was a seasoned nurse working some graves. Whether she was coming or going, Jackie had no idea, but the response felt… off kilter, strange.

"Yes ma'am, UltiMart's got pretty solid bargains!" xe replied, bemused more than anything else. A terminal case of desperation to work nights meant xe had only very rarely showed up to the store during the day, and even then, it was only to pick up partial shifts or cover for coworkers who were sick - it wasn't anything long term. Terminal overnighters were an odd kind of kin, like that recognized like, and they'd share their little jokes about the lack of daylight.

While the old lady did her shipping, J did what J did, checked the list of all the shit xe needed to get done, and then moved down it until xe found a task that was suitable for a time when there was a customer in the store and got to it. Each of the coffee makers was an absurd Austrian thing that looked like what aerospace engineers worked on when not making space ships - they even had touch screens, which had thoroughly confused a number of customers who, for whatever reason, lacked the basic decency to just read the very simple on-screen instructions.

They made a damn fine cup of coffee, at least.

While the old lady did her browsing, J did what needed to be done with the coffee machines. First, xe had to pull out the tray all the coffee grounds were dumped into by the individual bean grinders, and brush them out - and then wipe them down with the bottle of food safe sanitizer hanging from xis belt.

A song started playing, an unfamiliar one - which was, in and of itself, something of an event. The store's radio had been standardized for the three years xe had worked at the fucking place, with new songs being added only very rarely. It was covers, always covers of popular songs from years past, because (presumably) licensing fees were less.

This song, however, was wildly unfamiliar. Right then, it was december the fourth, and the ugly American phenomenon of Christmas music had already begun, with essentially every song being some softly shitty, saccharine song about how Christmas was good and lovely (it wasn't) and how snowing it was definitely going to be (or how not snowing it would be but how it was in fact still Christmas in Vegas). All of it was thankfully constantly rubbing its ass across the floor of a room labelled 'easy listening' like a dog in heat, and thusly, was incredibly easy to tune out.

This was not easy listening, and was not dragging its ass. It started up right away with a strange, slightly overdriven scream of a note on what could've been a guitar, or what could've been a violin having its various indelible rights violated. J looked up, confusedly, staring at the nearest ceiling mounted speakerplate. The first words of the song were definitely in English, but they were unintelligible, howled with such ferocity that J couldn't make anything out.

Unnerved, xe let the cleaning routine finish on the coffee machine and wiped down the grill people set their cups on, cleaning up loose droplets wondering how people could make so much off a mess with a damned device that was largely automatic, and-

The music was loud, louder than it should have been, loud enough to be downright unpleasant. Whatever the verse was supposed to be about, J heard the word 'fuck,' and then 'death is our business, and business is good' and wondered with a kind of dim anxiety what xis boss was doing with the damned radio. Usually, she didn't fuck with it in the middle of the night, neither the volume nor the station, preferring to change it during morning shift change if she changed it at all.

Baffled, xe threw the soiled towel into the trash can behind the counter, passing through the swinging, saloon style waist-high doors to get to the register - the old lady was meandering her way back towards the front of the store, and three years of instinct told xim that she was done and ready to check out.

As she approached, the singer was howling the words 'hunt, fight, kill, spill' over and over as the guitar player went absolutely fucking bananas. It sounded like a challenge song made by a sadistic modder for some guitar-legend type video game - not meant to be musical, really, but instead meant to be as hard and inhuman as possible.

"Sorry about the radio!" J half-shouted, in the most customer service voice that xe could manage. "We have no control over it in the store, its controlled remotely!"

"What radio, sweetie?" the old lady asked. This simple question was not one that would normally frighten anyone, but when she asked it, with that fake sweetness that all the music tasted of, a trickle of icewater ran through xis spinal fluid.

"The, uh, really loud song that's playing, right now!" xe told her, confusedly, as she set… something, on the counter.

"Sweetheart, I'm old, not deaf, you don't have to shout," she said, still sweetly, but with a freezing, hard edge.

"S-Sorry," J said, trying to shut out the music that felt like it kept getting louder, and now had words in it like 'fuck, consume, eat, devour' mixed in with the other ones in some kind of charnel, wylde hunt of a crescendo. "Let me, just uh, ring you out."

So, J did what J always did when unnerved - focused on process. Grab the items, get them in place on the counter, find the barcode, scan them…

But the old woman had set, on the counter, a huge wet hank of something that looked an awful lot like intestines, loosely wrapped in some kind of slick plastic that was labelled with the store's branding, but was definitely not something xe had ever sold before. This had happened once or twice, though usually not with something so viscerally disgusting, but strange products made their way to shelves in rural areas - they had, after all, a whole goddamn minifridge by the door full of live bait and weird bottles of deer attractant or whatever.

This was marked as 'Sausage casing, natural, unprocessed' which was pretty much exactly what it looked like was inside - intestines, unprocessed, raw guts. Sure, that was fucked, and sure it made J want to go leap out a fucking window into a hot shower that would presumably be waiting out the window as a matter of course, but… It was hunting season. Rural freaks… bought all kinds of weird shit.

"I can't wait to get home and tuck into that," the old lady said, as J scanned it. J looked up at her immediately, with a kind of sluggish trepidation rising up alongside the ice-water level in xis insides. "Hard to get good, fresh intestine these days, oh boy, but you all… Well, like you said! Ultimart has some great deals!"

"Y-Yeah, absolutely," J replied, at that point, shaking. It hadn't been like this in a long time, the anxiety, the terrible feeling that something was getting worse and worse every moment, and whatever the fuck it was, it was wholly inconceivable and impossible for a human mind to understand. Early on, working the graves, that had happened a few times and required medication to quell - but it had been at least half a year since such a thing was a necessity.

The last item that J scanned was a knife, which xe was incredibly sure that they didn't sell - but it rang up in the POS system just fine, despite being a bowie styled weapon with blade length J was almost entirely sure was illegal. After several long moments of staring at the weapon, and then at the screen, xe said, "I need just a moment, okay, ma'am?"

"Oh come on now, I really would like to get home to sleep," she said, barely audible over the blood-horny shrieking of the 'music.' "What's the problem anyway?"

"I'm fairly sure this knife is of illegal blade length," J replied, evenly. "I'm going to call my manager real fast, just to make sure you're not exposed to liability, and neither are we, okay?"

For a long moment, the old lady stared at xim, paper white skin, eyes like puddles of mud with spots of green algae floating on the surface, pupils lightless pits that seemed overlarge, and then she said, "check me out, boy, or I'll use the knife on you."

"W… Excuse me?" J asked, softly, having never once been threatened by a fucking grandmother whose hair was still tinged cyan with blue-rinse. She looked like an octogenarian but had just-

"Sell me my fucking knife and my guts, boy, and let me go home. They're on SALE!" she all but barked, voice deeper than it ought to have been. For a long, ice cold moment, a temporal crystal of a ten-second cluster, J just fucking stood there, struck silent and immobile.

"I'm… I'll be right back," J said, stalking off away from the register before the old lady could be any more of a freak. Some reasoning had to be done, and xe wasn't going to do any of it standing right there with nightmare grandma. Once behind the enormous display stand wherein all of the scratch off tickets were located, xe took a long breath and pulled out xis phone.

No service. That had happened a few times before, always at crucial and stressful moments for it to happen, but it meant xe was on xis own and had to made a damn decision. Decisions had never been J's strong suit, nor had making them, nor had making good ones - but in this case, there were a few scraps of logic to cling to.

Tattered though those scraps were, the items had been entered into the POS, and were up on screen. They had prices matching the tagged prices, and that meant at least, at LEAST a manager and an assistant manager… nothing got in the system without their approval.

If anything legal-related happened, it'd happen to them. Employees below management weren't to be held responsible for such things, especially if they didn't do anything out of the ordinary but check out a registered item. After another moment of exhaustion and fear, and decision making, J headed back to the register and faced down nightmare granny with the music she couldn't hear blaring in a new, brutal, howling hellscape of sound. Satan himself and all his choruses roared and bleated.

"Okay. I had to do a quick check with the management. Everything is fine. My apologies for the inconvenience," J said.

"You fucking freaks get worse and worse every year, I swear," the grandma said, digging in her purse and tugging out a series of bills. J had been threatened, had been nearly beaten, had been yelled and screamed at, people had tried to scam xim, but no one had ever been quite as scary as this old lady and her widening pupils. Whatever she was on, and she WAS on something, it had dilated them at that point to a level that the irises could scarcely be seen.

"Sure," J said, because 'freak' was hardly the worst xe had been called by customers. Xe took the bills, checked their values, and then quickly and quietly typed the amount in the POS. The drawer snapped open, the automatic change vault dispensed the coins, and then J handed her the bills. "Have a nice day, ma'am."

"Great deals!" the old lady crowed, and then she gathered her guts and her long knife and her chocolate bar and can of coffee, and fucking dipped. That was it, she just left, walkd out the doors into a soothing darkness that absorbed her readily as if she was made of it and simply evaporated back into it past the glass.

Finally free of whatever the fuck that was, J started to emerge from behind the counters, only to realize that xis hands were wet. Soaking, dripping, and xe raised them to stare at them, finding them wet and slick and-

"What the riddling goddamn fuck?" xe asked, as the smell, the familiar smell of iron and pennies touched xis nose and that special kind of instinct-triggering vital red pattered weakly onto the floor. Already trembling with the shock and the anxiety, the worker-alone stalked into the back room and grabbed one of the GOOD cleaning paper towels to dry the red away. It was a hazmat issue, for starters, and that meant procedures had to be followed and-

"Where did it come from?" xe demanded, heading to the sink with its three huge, wide bays - and then past it, to the hand sink, where xe could wash without violating biohazard protocols. Once all the iron stink was gone and with it all that vital red, J stalked back out behind the counter, taking careful note of the pattern of blood droplets on the floor, so that he could fill out a biohaz report and clean it all properly.

At the register, J saw the blood running out from underneath the drawer, and decided this was a great time to wake up from what was most assuredly a nightmare. The howling chorus of murder and violence carried on its carrion chorus until at last, xe hit the button to open xis drawer and-

Silence. It cut out, a shocking and startling abuse of sudden peace. Inside of the drawer, the bills were soaked in blood, floating in the liquid as if it had been full up before the money was even placed inside, and none of that made sense…

Confounded, confused, xe reached in and tried to take one of the bills out - and then jerked xis hand back as the drawer snapped viciously shut, so fast that the reaction was more instinct than anything else. Strangulation of a scream was something J had experience with, and xe choked the rising scream in xis throat, and choked the bile of horror down with a guttural swallow.

Xis pinkie finger was gone, cloven off cleanly between the two middle knuckles, at an angle. Blood squirted, red and so vital, and J walked with numbness and purposeful intent. Each footstep was a labor of necessity, a cold wrought iron act that could only be forged out by someone who had experienced pain, horror and sudden and unexpected wounding before.

In the back, xe grabbed another of the good cleaning paper towels and wrapped it around the digit, taking great effort to fold the flap of skin over the stump for the moment. Whatever had happened, the bone had slowed down the cut, and perhaps that was the only reason there was so much of the digit left. With duct tape from the emergency toolbox, xe secured the makeshift dressing.

A lot of things were happening in xis head at once, most of them related to trying to get xis fucking finger sewn back on. It wasn't a terrible loss, a pinkie that was barely used for anything, and the pain, the pain was so immense but so much less than xis mind would have thought had xe been made aware of the cut before it came.

It ached. It hurt. It was-

"Need the bit," J muttered, feverishly, half-drunk with adrenaline and half-sick with horror. These new steps, back out to the register, were accompanied by the forceful requisition of a pair of heavy metal tongs that were normally used for pulling hot wings off the cook plates. Shaking still, J used the POS to open the drawer, and stared into it, seeing what was wrong, what xe had missed.

The bills that strange woman had given over, they weren't the source of the blood - xe wasn't even sure it was really blood. Somehow, all the fleshy horror of the inside of the drawer was almost not a surprise. The various slots for all of the bills had been replaced with chambers full of blood, oozing from little holes near the top and soaking all of the coins and paper, drowning them in thickened red. The fingertip, the digit, was hissing and smoking, that smoke the acrid horror of digestion. The inside lip of the drawer was lined with a thick, wide row of misshapen but unmistakably human front teeth - misshapen, but razor sharp.

Pain. Beneath the layers of tissue, thick plates of bone formed the basic skeleton of the drawer, though the outside remained mottle gray metal. Wrong, it was all wrong. It was a horror. Disgusted, enraged, J wedged the tongs in and watched it snap shut. This animal was nothing but that, an animal, operating on instinct - and it kept trying to close, grinding aggressively against the shaft of the tongs… and then gave up. This gave J only a moment to snap the remains of the digit from the single dollar slot.

This time, when it snapped shut, it was done. Xe set the digit on the counter, having fully given the screaming fuck up on hazmat protocols, and was distressed to find that there wasn't enough flesh to sew back on. It was just grotesque, awful bone and some tendon gumming it all together.

Frantic with afterthought, J checked xis hands and… they had burns, mild ones, on the palms. It wasn't blood, it was some digestive fluid that smelled and felt a lot like blood, but was just a bit thicker and-

J opened the drawer again. It was still there.

"Fuck," xe said, because if xe was just crazy, it'd be a lot less fucking scary.

It was that moment that xis phone started beeping, and the wounded worker fumbled the device out and squeeze-pressed the side button to reveal…

Six thirty AM. It was morning, and not just morning, but half an hour past the end of xis shift. Xis relief, an assistant manager, hadn't shown up, and was half an hour late - and this was when xe would have to call xis boss, if xe had ANY FUCKING SIGNAL.

Xe did not have, in fact, any signal, fucking or otherwise.

Panting with the extreme exhaustion of an adrenaline crash and the staggering pain of a severed digit, an executive decision was called for - and this one was easy, in the extreme, to make. Without even pausing to think, to wait, to hesitate, J walked to the manager's desk behind the front counter and opened the non-manager drawer on it, retrieving the emergency key for the doors. With that in hand, xe stumblefucked to the rear door and fully closed it, tricking it to latch with a little wiggle of the 'if you press this, the fire department will come' bar that forced them to leave that particular portal open, if only just, propped that way.

That done, xe walked to the front doors and reached up to the sensor controls, disabling the sensor so it wouldn't open for anyone. A final step had to be followed, and xe followed out, because at that moment, clinging to procedure was basically all that was keeping xim fucking sane. With a certain amount of disdain, xe slapped on the 'Closed due to emergency circumstances, please wait for a manager, or otherwise find another location to serve you' sign on the front door.

Xe then stepped out into the cold of morning, locked the doors, and turned to the parking lot intending to head right next store to the apartments where xis manager lived. If the phones were down, xe would pound on the fucking door and wake the poor woman up.

Except, facing the parking lot, that preternatural darkness still enveloped everything but the pumps and the area beneath the bright canopy lights. Something was wrong with that darkness, something that J couldn't quite figure until xe walked halfway across the lot and saw something that made that cold ice-water-in-the-cerebrospinal-fluid feeling come on back.

Bricks. Through that thick, syrupy darkness, xe saw bricks at the edge of the parking lot, at the very edge of the store's lot. Baffled, nauseous, xe made xis way to that edge and pressed xis wounded hand to the brickwork and just… breathed, slowly, carefully. Walking down the wall revealed just another wall, at the edge of the lot farthest from the doors - and then, xe walked down that door to a pool of light that had been hard to even notice through the black.

They slid open smoothly. J stepped into the entrance of Ultimart, and turned around as the doors shut, staring across the parking lot at pumps that had been mutated and warped, blended together and superimposed with pumps that had been mirrored. Light shone out of doors to the right, to the left, and to the locked doors with the posted sign directly across the lot.

"Welcome to Ultimart! We have great deals and fantastic meals!" a voice called. J turned, slowly, looking at a cashier that stood behind the counter. Frightened, sick with anger, xe walked up to the swinging doors and stared over them.

The Cashier was not standing there. Instead, thick rivulets of bone ran down from a bare and exposed pelvis, tubes connected to various internal organs emerging from blistered, scarred up, cauterized flesh - the tubes themselves were thick, glistening white connective tissue, wet. The bone formed pillars all the way to the floor, lumpy and uneven like melted stick candles.

There, at the floor, that bone grew in sickly, plantlike tendrils straight into the gaps between the tiles. Those cartilaginous tubes ran down through holes below the register.

"Working hard, or hardly working?" the cashier asked, like a fucking freak, like a disgusting nightmare. Neither of this things eyes were the same color, and both of them failed to focus equally, pupils seemingly set at entirely different levels of dilation. "Great deals!"

"Fall over and fucking die," J said, quite evenly, before walking back through those same goddamned doors and past the overlaid, mutated pumps. Xe unlocked the doors from the outside, and then re-locked them from the inside, and walked behind the counter. There, J sat down against the cigarette wall, and just… stared at the register. Blood was still dripping from the counter, and the bone and tissue still smoked faintly.

Finally, after a few minutes, xe said, softly…

"Fuck."

#writing #fiction #story #horror #body horror #fleshpunk #blood #gore #creative writing #surreal #dark #unnerving #criticism of capitalism #etc

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thefinalvoid · 11 months

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who's chalia? please tell me all about them :]

Chalia, more formally called The Elde Mother Chalia Bloodstone, is an immortal being who used to be human before she died in a war. Upon dying her soul was so fucking mad that it persisted for just a second, long emough to find the parasite feeding on her homeworld's hatred, and fuse with said being. She is currently the 2nd known oldest being in the liminal (the space between universe) and the only known being older than her is the cat that made everything. In her culture, the leaders are called Mothers and Fathers, with the two who lead everyone being called the Grand Mother and Grand Father. These positions are actually ungenedered and are more about the tasks the individual in said role must undertake for the community, with mothers being more about talking to people and communicating with the people and fathers being more about taking action (and, in the past, hunting and defending) Upon bevoming immortal, Chalia was granted the opportunity to become the Eldest Mother or Father, depending on which tasks she wished to undertake. She chose to become the Eldest Mother, and eventually the Eldest part got shortened to just Elde. Because her body belongs to the hatred feeding being (called a dautri aima) she now feeds off of hatred, not food, and can shapeshift into anything. Though shapshifting into a new form (something neither she nor the dautri aims has previously been) is extremely painful. Also, because she used to be human, she has forgotten the majority of her life, as her human brain was not designed to store trillions of years of memories. Because of this, she has two measures in place to help her remember things. 1, there is a library dedicated to her life. It only contains her diaries, and records/diary entries from otehr about her life. 2, the Dautri Aima she shares a body with has a bunch of pre-set memory modes it can put chalia in. Each one has a different set of memories, and new sets are often being made.

Chalia also has a lot of kids. Before her death and subsequent immortality, she had 4 kids. That lineage continues to the current day, though she is not very involved with that lineage anymore. Her other children, mostly born after the war she died in, are often with gods or spirits. These children technically have three parents, Chalia, the person she fucked, and the dautri aima. Most of these children have a dautri aima's liquid/gooey natural body, with some consistent solid parts and general consistency to said liquid/goo. These children also have a multi decade long incubation period where chalia must keave them hidden away in a universe. This iften means chalia forgets about her children. Luckily after incubation they are basically adults who just need some life experience. Unfortunately they often mee the criteria to be considered gods.

Chalia is a very vengful person, and she holds many grudges. But, she also deeply cares for her family, blood related or not. She also spends most of her time sewing and making extravagant dresses for herself! So when u see her in a fancy ballgown, know that shes sewn the whole thing herself :D.

Chalia has been thru some shit, and shes doing her best. And eating terribly hateful people :)

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freyaswolf · 1 year

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Hellcheer thoughts...

I've had these random thoughts bouncing around in my brain for way too long, so I'm writing them out and sharing. Now they're your problem.

🖤 If Chrissy somehow came back from the dead, her mom would be so mad about it. Because that would take the attention off her and on the "miracle" of her daughter being alive. She would absolutely disown Chrissy, claiming she was some demon masquerading as her daughter. Chrissy would show up on Eddie's doorstep (because we are pretending their trailer wasn't destroyed) with a couple of suitcases and boxes packed into her tiny car (car is a hand me down from a friend who graduated the year before, her mom would never buy her a car).

🖤 Eddie treats Chrissy like she is a precious treasure, but not as though she's weak or incapable because he's seen the steel in her. He would get overwhelmed when they're in close proximity, like working around each other in the tiny kitchen he would get so easily distracted. He would be able to smell her shampoo, and would just stop dead in his tracks. But he loves it. They're doing that back and forth dance, because they haven't quite become a "thing" yet, until they do. And he loves when they do, because now he's allowed to be close, breathe her in, and everything stops, and nothing else matters. His priority is to make her feel safe, and he encourages her to be herself, whoever that new person is. She's never been free to express how she feels about anything and everything, and she might go a little crazy at first, drunk with freedom. He helps her work through a few of her body image issues, and encourages her to find s doctor or therapist who can help her more, no shame or judgement. Being out of her parent's house has removed the major stressor/trigger for her disordered eating, and having that out of her life helps a lot.

🖤 Chrissy starts hanging out with Nancy, Robin, Max, and El (AND BARB because she also deserved better and was a great friend), and a couple of her cheer squad friends who were actual friends, and they all help her blossom. As does Mrs. Wheeler, who takes Chrissy under her wing. Karen Wheeler is PISSED at Chrissy's mom, and even goes off on her in the grocery store one day when she tries to say something shitty about Chrissy.

🖤 When Eddie and Chrissy get stoned together sitting out on a blanket behind the trailer, Chrissy talks shit about her mom and Jason. She has zero filters when she's stoned!

🖤🖤BONUS🖤🖤

This is a "What if" kind of AU idea. Basically Hellcheer, but make it Disney:

What if Chrissy's mom, isn't her birth mother? What if her "mom" is in fact a wicked step mother? Chrissy's actual mother died in childbirth, and her evil/wicked sister or best friend stepped in. Laura was super jealous of her sister/best friend for being prettier and more adored than she was, and she takes her jealousy out on Chrissy who is a carbon copy of her mother. Chrissy's younger brother is actually her half brother. After her mom disowns her, her dad comes by the trailer with a box of pictures and mementos that he saved/hid from Laura so she couldn't throw them out like she did with everything else that belonged to Chrissy's mom. He explains everything, apologizes and gives her pics of her actual mother. Tells Chrissy all about her, and how proud she would be of Chrissy. She would ask, "Why don't you leave her dad?" and he would tell her "I'm not as strong as you are pumpkin, I'm so sorry for everything. Maybe someday I'll be as brave as you are. You take after your mom, she was a fighter too." Her dad would have a talk with Wayne, and lets him know how to reach him if they need anything. He makes sure Chrissy gets a generous allowance so she can focus on school and graduating and so she doesn't have to get a job unless she wants to.

Of course, all of my ideas end with Eddie and Chrissy living happily ever after. Neither of them is perfect, but they are perfect together, and their differences manage to compliment each other. 🖤

#Hellcheer #Hellcheer inspiration #Hellcheer ideas #eddissy #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #eddie x chrissy #i just really love them #amd they lived happily ever after

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babybattips · 1 year

Text

(Rant) Criticisms of goth community, based on personal experiences

CW/TW: last paragraph touches on antisemitism and extreme right wing people, second last is about animal abuse.

I'm starting my 11th year in this subculture. English is not my first language. This post starts with unimportant pet peeves and ends on basically a hate crime :,)

This is a bit different to my usual tips posts. I was never too keen on dance parties in clubs, I mostly attended festivals or live shows when it comes to goth events. In September 2022 I wanted to change that. I'm in Lower Silesia / Southwestern Poland and most of these particular adventures happened in Wrocław or in the Lower Silesian voivodeship, but some of these things apply to the wider goth community I feel like.

First of all, this might piss people off, but of we look up a definition of a poser - most goths are posers. They don't pose as goths - that seems to be the no. 1 crime in this subculture, but I don't mean it in that way - they pose as these intellectual academics, "I'm smarter than you" people. (It's not like I'm not guilty of that myself, but I'm trying my best to not be a megalomaniac lol) To add some context, I work in a museum that is ran by one of Poland's biggest archival institutes - my specialty is culture and fashion of the Polish Sarmatian Nobility, but I also work with let's just say history of literature and culture in 19th century Poland. And holy shit for some reason goths LOVE to flex knowledge they just don't have - the Victorian era often being the main focus. The easiest example is Black Friday's "Historical Black & Red Fashion from Punk Rave" video, in which she says that massive puffy sleeves were a popular fashion choice in the "begginning of the Victorian Era, the early 1800s". The era started in 1837 and yes, you'd find some puffy sleeves in 1830s-40s, but the puff starts lower on the arm, not at the shoulder - Black Friday was complaining about the puffs on the shoulders and how they could potentially not fit her figure. She's referring to the 1890s dresses. Her mistake is just an example, she's not a historian and I generally like her, not trying to be mean here. She's just a massive public figure, and referring to some people with no internet presences who I've met at some point would make a shit example.

Other thing about posing is this whole "we're the aristocracy of the night" - no hun, you're a hoe for capitalism, wearing a polyester vampire dress from Party City Punk Rave, drinking goth club vodka and happily listening to insanely pretentious, fast food for the brain kinda songs, like "We're the Children of the Dark" (if you don't know that song, good, you're blessed). Obviously not all goths are like this, but my local community is packed with these folks. Before someone accuses me of anything related to finances when it comes to clothes - thrifting a silk, linen or wool in Poland requires literally $5 on the most expensive thrift store day, $1,50 on the cheapest. Punk Rave is so much more expensive than thrifting organic, very high end clothing. You know why people still buy these plastic garments? It's tacky, and they love it. The pseudo-brocade fabric with pseudo-baroque ornaments, neon purple prints slapped on a synthetic satin black dresses, it's just horrible, but it sells for some awful reason. (For context - I'm a design student, currently doing a master's degree, so at least I'd like to think this whole argument is not only based on my personal taste.) I'm not saying you can't enjoy these things, but enjoy them for what they are - and they're everything but high quality, aristocrat worthy pieces.

Now we're moving onto music yay! So, seems like every goth I meet is a metalhead who listens to one post punk song per 100 metal songs. And I'm not talking about babybats here! Not about casuals either, but about people who claim to be elders with massive knowledge. I've met a guy once (sadly) who claimed to be an elder goth at the very young age of 29. Sure. Did he have knowledge? Lol obviously he didn't. Not about goth music, but he was crazy about screamo. Nothing against screamo, but it's kinda *cough* cringe *cough* to claim yourself as a trad elder while you're not even 30 and don't really listen to goth stuff. Also he defended racist bands, so that's fun.

Another thing that I mentioned is the popularity of fast food songs as I call them. I'm not fully against that kind of music, but it bothers me when people only listen to that and act like it's peak music taste. Examples (please don't get upset if you like these artists or songs, I'm just some person on the internet after all) are, again, Children of the dark by Mono Inc ft. Chris Harms, Joachim Witt and Tilo Wolff, whatever tf Lacrimosa is doing these days, Lord of the Lost, Die Kreatur, Deathstars. But "Children..." is the worst offender, with such subtle, not at all middle school lyrics like:

"We're nothing like you A wall in black We're nothing like you And you don't get who we are, who we are"

"We're nothing like you, we're true and free We're nothing like you but you can't see We're nothing like you and all the rest We're nothing like you We're the children of the dark"

LIKE ARE WE ALL 12 YEARS OLD. TELL ME. This is so cringe in the worst way possible. It's so bad. How does this pass as something of value? My local community just adores this trash. And like what happened to Tilo's music? It used to be good, and now it's this edgelord shadow the hedgehog shit. Tbh I do history classes for 12 y.o. kids and they'd laugh at this. I can understand that this might be someone's guilty pleasure, but something you brag about? Even if you genuinely like songs like these (if they make you happy, don't stop listening to them! I might find it cringe, but like idk people may be drawn to these for a variety of reasons), I feel like it's important to anyone, goth or not, to consume high quality music from time to time, even to just learn about music in general.

Another thing is lack of originality. Goths often are like "normies all look the same haha". Honey goths look like clones. Don't come at me with these "there are victorian, trad and hippie and many other types of goths" argument, because it only means that people choose from 20 established looks. Trad goths look extremely similar to each other. Same with "victorian" goths. Same with hippie goths, romantic goths, vampire goths, whatever. I stopped wearing distinctly gothic outfits some time ago. I still dress in all black everyday, but the style of pieces is more, uhh, just 60s mod inspired? Or very formal. Just personal taste, it kinda happened by accident.

TW animal abuse

Last crime is a more significant one, very present in my local community, as well as uh, everywhere really - bigotry, ignorance, racism, sexism, lack of maturity. I have two very clear examples taken from my personal life. The first one happened on the last Castle Party - a dude had a pet owl and was smoking cigs, while the bird was on his shoulder, inhaling the smoke. Some girls tried to act up, but the dude refused to listen. One of them posted a photo of him with the owl to a facebook group, and the responses were mixed. Most women in the comments were rightfully infuriated, but most men (the whole comment section was weirdly divided by genders) only typed "poka sowe" (pol. show owl), a reference to a very stupid Polish meme rap songs about, well, pp. Because why care about animal abuse when you can be silly and goofy!

TW antisemitism

Another example is from Castle Party 2019, me and my friend had a very funky tent from the 80s, it looked like a small circus, but was difficult to put up. Some men in their 40s asked (very politely) if we need help, so we said yes and thanked them. They helped us with the tent... while shouting antisemitic slurs and statements such as "this party isn't for the lefties". The friend I was with is Jewish (she doesn't look Jewish tho, so they probably had no idea), so that was just. Yea. Sorry about this being so negative, but all of these experiences made me almost leave the subculture. At the end of the day, I'm a bit too attached to many parts of it, but the local community is not one of them. I'd rather just listen to my CDs by myself at this point.

#tw antisemitism #tw animal abuse #goth #goth subculture #gothgoth

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these-are-the-first-steps · 1 year

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Here’s a random reylo ask for ya- did you ever have any theories/HCs early on in shipping reylo (cuz I believe you’ve said you were shipping since TFA) which you didn’t end up being into as much, or at all anymore as TST progressed?

Hello! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this.

Story Time

So I saw TFA the second day it came out. I left rather bewildered- one, because a new actor I'd never seen before in my life (adam driver) gave such an unorthodox performance I couldn't stop thinking "The fuck does this guy think he's doing???" namely the interrogation scene where I don't think any other actor would have, nor could have, played it the way he did. I'm still shocked by the choices he made with his line delivery in that scene but in the best way possible. It's hard to explain. Anyway, that's one. Two also goes back to that scene. In middle school, back with Tokyo Pop was big, they held their very first manga contest for us regular american people to try our hand at Japanese style manga. Well, I felt like I could write, and my good friend at the time (she still is- we keep in touch!) could draw like a crazy person. So we decided to try for it. The only problem was, being middle schoolers, motivation and scheduling wasn't our forte. I did manage to write a short script excerpt of a story that had been brewing in my head for awhile at the time, and while I think I did eventually hand it over to her (I was suffering from perfectionism), the art never happened. We tried again in high school but then high school angst got in the way and it still didn't happen. Regardless, I still now had the only real concrete piece of writing for this story I had been sitting on for a couple years now.

Eventually....well, time moved on.

Cue "Star Wars: The Force Awakens", a sequel film I was INCREDIBLY skeptical about. I'd been watching star wars my entire life. My dad took me as a little kid to the big deal re-screenings of the original trilogy they did nationwide before the prequels came out. I had a lot of Opinions on this movie series. I had just moved to NYC and was out for a walk when I passed by Bloomingdales and saw, a bit to my shock, that their store windows were full of (allegedly) screen-used costumes and props from the upcoming TFA movie. I crept closer, had a look. Han Solo was the only thing I recognized. The rest? Unfamiliar. Alien. I had seen zero promotional images for this movie before encountering these windows and had only heard some things. I made guesses as to what everything was, before rounding the corner and being confronted with an irrationally tall costume. "Oh, is this the darth vader rip-off? lmao" (the only thing I had concretely heard about). "This guy had to be on stilts surely??" Kylo Ren. Funny at first, but the longer I stared at it, I shit you not, the more unsettled I got. I actually got *scared* staring at this costume. I took one very poor, very shaky picture, and basically ran away. (I regret not taking a better photo but oh well). I run into an article the next day at work about the movie and it happens to have the trailer and I decide, sure, ok, I'll give it a watch. Those windows were interesting at least. I basically had my tickets bought by the end of the day. So here we are, back to the theatre, sitting here as this audacious actor delivers the most ballsy performance I've seen the whole film as he interrogates the heroine, and I listen to what he's saying, and then, it hits me.

This. Is my story. These are my lines. I wrote this exact same exchange in middle school.

What the fuck??

This meant a lot of things to me. This meant that I knew where this story was going, and where it was going I liked very much. I went back to see the movie again a second time about a week or two later. I had to be sure-- I wasn't just imposing what was already inside my brain all these years onto a totally different story on the screen, was I? I watched, and waited. And sure enough....no, no it had to be it. These two? I know exactly how this is going to go down.

A few months later I visited back home and even managed to dig through a box and find my old script. I read through it, sort of shaking a little. My heroine- Light- had also been captured- by the Dark- and the song and dance were the same- Where am I? Does it matter? I can see everything. I'm not giving you anything. A summary, and as some years have passed again I have lost the print out in a box again, but some of the dialogue was ver batum.

I knew exactly where this new star wars story was going because I already wrote the damn thing in middle school, word for word, and if you thought for one second I wasn't going to tune in and defend this arc, that I never managed to get published myself at 13, with swords and shields and knives for my own personal middle school catharsis then you were dead wrong, my friend.

This may have seemed like a very round-about way of answering this question, but I wanted to give context, substance, because all of this ^^^^^ up here? It defines, explicitly, why I'm even here to begin with, and why I fought so hard from day one. There was nothing to abandon, or question, or shed. Because I already knew this story by heart. I had already written it!! And I still think ants and DLF and JJ Abrams and Terrio and the rest of those bastards can pry it from my cold dead hands, because truly they butchered my baby and while I may live with that, I'll never forget it.

Thank you for the ask, friend.

#reylo #reylo stories

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