#also I didn't know where to mention it in there but

[dadvans]

my favorite line in the entire bucktommy saga is maddie's reading of "wait, it's the same tommy?" because at that point you know this girl has been THROUGH IT way too many times in a short period, like:

her soon-to-be husband comes home. he just fake called out sick from work to fly into a hurricane with his closest coworkers, her disaster-prone brother she mostly raised included, to save his boss and his wife. he tells her all about it, adrenaline still pumping the day after he comes back from the COAST OF MEXICO, and is like, no, it's fine! see, my old co-worker tommy works in air ops and I saved his life once, and we used to be super tight--[insert 10 minute off-topic backstory about how tommy used to be a jackass but now he's different here]--until he moved away, and funny enough, buck was the guy who filled in for him? anyways, tommy's the coolest, we could've died but we didn't! how was your shift at dispatch, honey

her brother she pretty much raised comes over and also brings up this tommy guy. yeah, he's so cool! do you think it would be weird if i called him up and asked for a tour of harbor? he just seemed like a neat guy, i want to be his friend, you think chim would put in a good word for me?

her brother she pretty much raised comes over AGAIN and is like, okay FUCK this tommy guy, he's so cool and knows everyone and his meat is huge!!! my best friend likes him more than me and they're doing things without me and i'm so sad about this in a really abstract way, can i please have a bagel

her soon-to-be husband comes home in the middle of this and is like, yeah he's cool and knows everyone and his meat is definitely huge. LOVE that guy!

her brother she pretty much raised shows up at her workplace and is like, remember how i was experiencing jealous thoughts and feelings because the coolest guy i've ever met with the biggest meat isn't paying attention to me and is new besties with my best friend? i may have caused bodily harm about this and yes i did involve your almost husband as a co-conspirator

approximately 2-to-3 business days pass where she experiences quiet. maybe too much quiet

her brother she pretty much raised comes over for a fourth time and is like, i lied to my best friend who i was just telling you i was angry at and s l i g h t l y injured because he kept hanging out with this other guy i was trying to hang out with and totally unrelated but i went on this date with someone and lied to my best friend about it and oh yeah it's the same guy but that is so besides the point it's not even worth mentioning

justice for maddie

[rationaliity]

jing yuan, boothill, dan heng with a shorter s/o

you guys already know how this goes !! we're so back besties !! oh, boothill calls you shortie and a slight amount of angst in dan heng's. mention of yanqing because its jing yuan, duh. GENDER NEUTRAL READER !!

JING YUAN —

jing yuan isn't a man who really notices height compared to anything else that he might love and adore about you

but he's also not going to kid himself with it and say that he doesn't use it to his advantage at all ever

yeah, he'll tease you here and there about being shorter than him

and sometimes he'll put things high up on purpose so you have to call for him to help

or he'll watch you struggle to do it on your own, which is always amusing, even though he'll never let it go too far

you'll never hurt yourself because of his little jokes, this much he knows

and maybe he's sorry, but you always look so cute when you have to turn to him, pouting, and pointing up to the thing that you want

before asking him if he could reach it for you in such a little voice

how is he supposed to ever say no to you ?

no matter what he's doing in that moment, it could be the most important business that he has to attend to right that second

or the simplest of tasks that he was barely even paying attention to

and he would stop everything just to help you with whatever you needed

he'd give you that cheeky little smile, and hand you the item, his voice holding a gentle tone in it as he asks you what you would do without him

well, your stuff would be on the shelf that you could actually reach it, that's for sure

but you would also miss out on his stupid, small smile as he teased you a little bit

as per usual, jing yuan found himself swamped in duties. between being the general of the cloud knights and training yanqing, when does he ever really get time to himself ? that was a question he often pondered himself, although he was sure that if he spent less time thinking about how busy he was always, he would have more time to relax. but ah, sometimes it can't be helped at all. and that's okay. he signed up for this lifestyle the moment he became general, and that was just ultimately the truth.

although, today he did find himself exponentially luckier than he typically is. because today, he had you by his side, something that he found himself missing more often than not. he was so busy it was often hard for him to stay in one place for him to have you over, but today all of his duties neatly aligned him to one place for the majority of the time.

he found himself watching you wordlessly as you swung your sword, showing yanqing the perfect technique. " see, yanqing ? move your foot over a little more to the right, and don't slouch so much ! " you chastised gently, your hand smoothing over his back as you reminded him to keep his posture correct at all times. he didn't want to end up with a bad back because he had neglected to take care of himself, after all. " now, when you swing your sword, hold it steady. be careful where you strike, your every move needs to have an intention behind it. careful and merciless, strong and delicately intricate. do you understand ? "

after your teaching, you brought your own wooden sword up to him, practice sparring with him get him comfortable fighting against you. you'd made it a point to even have your hand behind your back, however.. perhaps you overshot yourself, and soon found yanqing's sword lodged in a tree. " er.. " you looked at it, sheepish as you glanced at yanqing, and then at jing yuan. " my love ? may i- "

before you could even finish, jing yuan was plucking the sword out of the tree, a content smile on his face as he looked at you and his precious student getting along so well. " of course, my dear, " he hummed in satisfaction, having just been looking for a chance to join in. " perhaps you wouldn't mind a third sword ? one that won't get stuck in a tree, if we're lucky. "

BOOTHILL —

first off lets just get it out of the way that he's going to call you shortie no matter how short you actually are

no matter whether you're just barely an inch shorter than him, or an entire foot shorter

you're ' shortie ' to him, no matter what. nothing you can say or do will change that, it's just your life now

he's going to do that fake comparing heights thing where he puts his hand to his forehead and then moves it straight across, and make it a big deal

he thinks its hilarious that you're shorter than him and it is comedy gold to him

you're just so... short, and cute. he can't help his immediate reaction is to tease the fudge out of you

plus, he thinks its so super funny whenever you pout and ignore him for a little while

he knows its not going to last a long time, so he'll let you have your temporary fun

especially since he knows exactly how its going to end, with you asking him to come help you, or ultimately completely forgetting anyways

usually, its latter, but sometimes, so very rarely, the comedy aeon shines on him, and allows him this perfect opportunity

he'll tell you he's sorry, after he makes it a point to obnoxiously bend down to give you a kiss on your forehead

but you'll take what you can get with him, honestly

" aeons above ! boothill, you're so mean sometimes ! " you announced, as if this were something new to the both of you, making the cyborg man chuckle a little with how silly you honestly sounded to him. " can't you give me a break just this once ? please ? " you sounded desperate, but he knew it was just an act for you to try to get him to leave you alone.

" well, fudge, when ya put it like that, i'll do anything ya want me to do, shortie, " boothill chuckled a little bit as he spoke, wrapping his incredibly heavy arm around your shoulder, making you struggle slightly just to attempt to pull him off of you. " ya sure do look cute like this, ya know that ? look atcha, the picture of fudgin' adorable ! "

you swore that if he didn't tell you he loved you so often, you would have no idea that he had any positive opinions towards you at all, much less romantic feelings of you. but this was boothill, and being playfully obtuse was just the game of the game for the space cowboy.

" you're the worst, you know that, boothill ? "

" mhm, but tell me again. "

you rolled your eyes, pulling away from him completely, with your arms crossed. " fine ! you're the worst, boothill ! now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go finish my night routine so i can go to bed properly, thank you. " with that, although you hadn't really said anything snarky back to him, you felt like you won this time, and pushed off on your heels to go finish getting ready for the night.

ten minutes later you've realized that you can't reach where you put your cleanser from when you had been cleaning up earlier today, although you were sure you had put it back on the sink where it usually was. you'd been on a stepstool cleaning up the top of the bathroom mirror, and had just been throwing things up on the shelves on the inside without thinking about it. karma's a son of a nice lady sometimes, aint she ?

" hey, boothill, baby ? " you called out from the bathroom in a squeaky little voice. when he arrived, all you did was quietly point at the cleanser, and he grabbed it for you with a light laugh. " thanks.. "

" what happened to me bein' the worst, shortie ? don't think i'm the worst when i can actually reach the top shelf. "

DAN HENG —

did not notice that you were shorter than him, and honestly did not care

not even a little bit, not even as a shameless realization that you needed him

i mean, sure, he loves feeling needed, but he appreciates it when you need his mind more than something arbitrary about him that he couldn't control

just like he knows that you appreciate it more when he likes you more than just your height, which is how he's always seen you

dan heng is a man who doesn't care about physical appearances even in the slightest bit

he will always love your mind more than your body, and that's just the truth

i can't think of a situation where dan heng would enjoy being taller than you, but he does enjoy when you need his help with matters

and there are times that being taller comes in handy, too

like when the two of you are out trailblazing, he's so quick to grab you and put you behind him at a moment's notice

using his entire body to shield you, and knowing that you were okay behind him

he will protect you at all costs, its just easier now that he doesn't have to worry about your head being hit as long as you're behind him.

you will always, always come first. he'd put himself in harms way time and time again, even if he prefers to think things out rationally beforehand

" negotiations have failed, " stelle whispered, shifting from one of her feet to the other tentatively, her entire body tensed up. " but when do they ever work ? "

normally, dan heng would think of something dry to comment in this situation, but he couldn't think of anything to come up with, not with you there. you were out of reach for him, caught in between march and stelle, and also in the first line of sight for the enemy that they were now going up against.

this is, objectively, his worst nightmare. he can't get to you, which is his biggest fear. that he wouldn't be able to get to you when you need him the most. dan heng realistically knows that you can protect yourself, but he also knows that people are relentless sometimes, and you were softer than he was by a whole lot. you always saw the best in people. you saw the best in him, after all. he was terrified that you were going to see the best in someone who maybe didn't deserve it and get hurt in the process. and it seemed to be coming true right in front of him.

" wait, stelle, before we draw our weapons- " you started, your hand outstretched as you turned to look at the nameless, shaking your head. " i think we're okay- i mean- "

he saw it coming before you did, the drawing of their weapons, the readiness in their stance to fight. all hesitation he may have had to push march and stelle out of the way died the moment he saw the sharpness of the blade in the enemies' hands. dan heng found himself reaching in between the two girls, grabbing your wrist harshly, pulling you back.

" watch out-! " dan heng yelled, throwing you behind him before you could find something to respond to him with. you were save, you had to be safe. everything else was secondary. and he was just in time it seemed. right where you had been standing previously, there was a polearm stuck into the ground, the sharp tip embedded so deep into the ground that he just knew it would've been a kill shot for you.

" d-dan heng ?! " you yelped, your eyes blown wide as you looked at where you had been. you pressed your forehead against his back, clearly and visibly shaking. you swore you felt a tail wrap around your form, keeping you close. " thank.. thank you. "

— ♡ rationaliity 2024

[velvetesrs]

Duty and Sacrifice | Hotd

Pairing | Aemond x Reader/Y/N

Warnings | Mentions of incest between siblings. 

Word count | 3032

Authors note | I haven’t written in a while and it shows but I’ve been working on this while I was in the bathroom and this might be a one shot or a short series leading into the murder of Lucerys.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Aemond would never admit it to you directly but he was fond of the way your hair was reminiscent of your mother.

The glossy red, like a promise of an unforgettable autumn, the smell of lilac blooms and gooseberry wine, trailed behind you as you came to sit next to your mother. you didn't look like the traditional Targaryen.

Despite Helaena being your twin you looked almost nothing like her, where as she was thin, gentle blue eyes and icy white hair. You were fire, bright red hair, full breast, your dark violet eyes being all that made the common folk shy away from naming you a bastard.

You had grown into your womanly figure early, your large bust that was extenuated by your tight stomach from years of training made all noble twats talk of you senselessly which made him ill at the thought of it.

Somehow you looked like the perfect mix of your eldest sister Rhaenyra and Your Queen mother, Alicent.

He loved playing with your curls, thoughts of how they'd look wrapped around his hand as he made you cum ferociously on his cock ran rapidly through his mind.

But there was an innocent light to it as well, Aemond loved his mother, and you mirrored her perfectly. no matter how unkind and stiff she was to you all. You were the opposite, you may have stolen her likeness in appearance but you were kind, gentle and loving, all the things she wasn't.

Having a motherly role to your idiotic drunk of a brother and your sweet twin sister.

Aemond also enjoyed having someone look after him, without the same judgement and expectations the Queen had for him.

He loved the way your hands felt on his face, while you sobbed cleaning his blood away, the fire in your eyes as you stood to defend him, covered in his blood.

Aemond never could grasp how you could love them all so much, even Rhaenyra and her bastard children, you'd stand before anyone and swear on the Gods that they were legitimate just because you knew what being Queen meant to her.

"Come Aemond, I must clean your bandages" you whispered amongst the crowd not to draw attention to his injury. It had been many moons since it happened but unfortunately being struck in the face during training cause the gash to bleed once more.

He stood unaffected by your words. still shy to show it in fear you may think him a monster like the other ladies of the court.

"They will be even more frightened by you if you are to bleed out in front of them, Brother" your soft scent floated through the air like a fragrant flower as your hand brushed against his, "Come" you urged noticing everyone's attention on the king as his health steadily declined.

It seemed the whole court was on edge that day, all attention on them as if Viserys was to die in moments and they'd kill each other reaching for his crown.

The stress was beginning to eat you alive, and the last thing you needed was Aemond to be in more agony knowing how badly it hurt your heart to him in pain.

You walked along side of him after excusing yourself from the commotion, not daring to grab your elder brother's hand until you were away from the crowd.

"Are you alright, my love?" Aemond hummed watching you audibly sigh gripping his hand tightly. "It is just the weigh of what is sure to happen soon" you mumbled.

You loved Viserys very much, he had never paid much attention to you in comparison to Rhaenyra. However you'd helped him build his mini statues of king's landing as a child and that moment cemented a love for your father that even his lack of care for you didn't sully.

"He will die soon" you stated walking into Aemond's chambers, his scent was more pungent now in his room.

He smelt like trees after it rained, clean and crisp with a hint of the strong Pine trees that sat outside of the sept he was frequenting lately. It was comforting and relaxing to be so fully immersed in what seemed like the essence of your big brother.

Your hands made quick work unlatching his eye patch as you settled in front of him, "does it truly trouble you this much sister? The thought of him dying?" Aemond questioned darting his good eye away from your face. He couldn't bare the idea that you'd look at him with disgust even though you were often the only one he'd allow change his bandages.

You quickly wiped away the blood leaking from his wound, applying a salve you made to keep away the infection, "your sapphire is irritating it again" you said softly ignoring his question, your plump lips almost touching his nose as you got closer to see it.

He pushed you away gently, pulling his eye patch back on with a hiss, "it is fine as it is, if Aegon had been mindful of his sword this wouldn't of happened"

You sighed watching him put away your things you kept in his chambers for times like this, "it 'twas an accident" you mumbled looking down.

"You baby him far too much" he groaned in almost annoyance before he caught the look in your eyes, "he isn't as innocent as you believe Sister"

You had been angry at Aegon for harming your brother but when he gave you the puppy dog eyes you couldn't help but defend him.

Still you felt bad that you had forgiven Aegon so quickly thinking that Aemond would be mad at you, but you couldn't bring yourself to be unkind to him.

"It is fine Y/n it will heal just as long as I have you to care for me" Aemond said walking up to you, he pulled you into a hug, letting your scent mix with his in a deliciously sensual way.

You blushed pulling away from him, "Always brother" you cleared your throat, "we must go back"

He nodded disliking how quickly you put distance between the two of you, he gripped your hand, "let us return then"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Aemond knew something was wrong with you, you didn't seem ill nor did your smile fade from your beautiful face but still something was off, he noticed at first at dinner, when you excused yourself early. Something you rarely did if not on your moons blood which he had written down so he could help you track so he knew for a fact it wasn't that.

If he hadn't been watching you so closely he wouldn't have noticed you putting your food into napkins underneath your Gown pocket as if saving it away for some reason.

The most unusual part of your sudden illness at dinner was you rushed to your chambers with your handmaiden. You liked to prepare for bed alone.

He knew it was wrong to follow you but when he knocked on your chamber door it creeped open slightly as if not to show too much.

You face was flushed as you glanced up at him, "Yes, Brother?" You questioned with a soft smile pretending to droop your eyes to mimic exhaustion.

Your hair was wet, a sprig of lavender behind your ear, something else unusual, "Nothing, just making sure you are well" he replied narrowing his eye in suspicion.

You nodded, "Very well, I'm off to bed Sweet dreams" you rushed to say as you shut the door in his face.

He stood there shocked for a moment before turning away, you were up to something and even though he knew it was wrong to doubt you he couldn't help it.

Your footsteps were nearly silent as you snuck from your chamber, a hood resting over your head and a dark shift covering your commoners clothes.

Aemond stood just far enough in the shadows to follow you as you went to flea bottom.

He watched as your Princess like presence turned into one much like the other people in walking at night. You had been here before he noted, you knew exactly how to cover your tracks and how to hide your true identity.

If he was any other it would've been easy to lose you amid the crowds of people covered by the moonlight but your glossy hair peaking through the hood was a dead giveaway.

You stopped at a door, knocking twice. He watched as a woman emerged wrapping you tightly in an embrace, she smiled at you with tears in her eyes and her hands shook as you gave her a bag he hadn't noticed you had.

"This will be enough to live comfortably in Pentos" you said quietly, brushing a hand through the woman's tangled dark hair, "you will have your own home and never want for anything"

The woman let out a sob, covering her mouth, "Thank you My Princess, I-i am forever in your debt I cannot repay you" she pulled you into another hug.

You didn't seem disgusted by the obvious dirt on the woman's clothing, nor the stench of the streets.

"I have one request" you said with a grin "may I see him once more please" Aemond watched as she nodded hurriedly rushing back into her shack.

Much to his surprise, in her arms was a baby. it's hair white as yours, small fat fingers reaching up to touch your face and you held it with such care as she passed it into your arms it made his heartbeat rapidly.

"Tell him that his Father was a brave knight that died at battle, he was a good man but he couldn't stay to care for the two of you" you told the woman glancing down at the baby with love in your eyes, "and that his Aunt loved him so much that she could hardly bare it"

You had tears in your eyes as you handed the woman back her child, "there will be a man here shortly named Erick to safely bring the two of you to a boat, after that it shall be smooth sailing" you pulled something else from your bag on your hip.

"Enough food for tonight but I made sure the boat is ready for you with accommodations" you nodded stepping away, "I hope you have a good life Ellesa, you're a good woman"

She smiled at you watching as you kissed the boy on his head, "Farewell My Queen" she whispered. You laughed pushing her arm playfully, "Farewell my friend"

As she walked back into the small hut that he assumed was her home. You turned around and caught his eye, "Brother" you said slowly approaching him.

"It is Aegon's" he stated obviously referring to the child. You nodded, falling into step with him, "Yes"

You held your hand out awaiting his as you always did when you walked alongside him, "Not the first she had by him either, the others died due to illness she couldn't afford to heal" you had no reason to keep the truth from him and knowing you could always trust him you didn't wish to.

"She was his favorite whore, he introduced us once and I took a liking to her as well just not in the same manner" you murmured pausing your steps as Aemond stopped to stare at you, "he took you to the Street of Silk?" he all but growled in anger at their older sibling.

You laughed, rubbing a finger on his furrowed brow, "No, he'd brought her to me" he sighed calming down a bit, "you've bedded her?" He asked in quiet surprise.

"No" you shook your head, "she was simply a friend i had grown close to, but if mother were to find out about her she'd have her killed, the babe as well" 

"mother wouldn't do that" Aemond disagreed, as cruel as she could be he couldn't imagine her doing such a thing. "she'd never harm an innocent woman and her child"

You snorted as the two of you continued your walk back to the red keep, "you'd be surprised what our mother would do to protect our family's name"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You had a difficult relationship with your mother, you loved her like no other but you saw the looks she gave you, the tone she used when she addressed you.

Your mother didn't like you very much, she loved you, of course as she did all of her children. But she couldn't bring herself to like them not when her life had to end to bring all of yours to fruition.

The Queen didn't blame you but she could never shake the feeling as she looked at your face so similar to hers in her youth.. so similar to Rhaenyra's.

You heard her before you saw her as you turned the corner in search of Aegon, "You are no son of mine" the words so harsh it made your heart sear with sadness.

"I am sorry" Aegon whispered out, "I am sorry I am not perfect like you" there was a stillness in the air before the sound of a slap.

You quickly walked into the room to see Aegon on the ground, his cheek bright red, tears in his eyes and your Queen mother standing above him.

"Mother" you called for her hesitantly, "I believe Grandfather was looking for you, The septa mentioned it to me" you mumbled as she turned to you.

Her eyes closed and she shook her head, "very well" she cleared her throat looking down at Aegon once more, "Excuse me Sweetling" she said as she walked past you.

You rushed to Aegon's side helping him sit up but he stumbled falling onto your lap, the stench ale heavy on his tongue, "Why" he whispered laying his head down on your lap, "why does she hate me" he asked you.

Sighing you brushed the hair from his face, "Mother is troubled much like us Aegon, Do not doubt her love"

He laughed drunkenly, "She is cruel, just like father they hate us" you felt your heart drop not knowing what to say, you couldn't argue you felt the same as he did.

"Why couldn’t she marry us" he mumbled suddenly into your gown, "I told her it was you I preferred, did you know?" He questioned and your heart sank.

You didn't want to marry Aegon, not because it disgusted you, but because you knew the type of man he was, A wanton man with selfish needs and he could never put aside his childlike behavior not even for your twin, His wife.

“No I did not brother” you whispered, your hand brushing the curls back, “she knew it would hurt me if you weren’t mine” he bitterly slurred out.

Silently you thanked your mother for not approving the proposal, You’d always be there for Aegon but you could never stomach his ways.

"She hates you the most" he lazily laughed looked up at you, "you look so much like her she can't bare the sight of your face"

You already knew that. Rhaenyra was actually the one who’d explained it to you in your youth, she’d found you crying underneath a table after tea with your mother, she had insulted your embroidery you’d made for your father and Rhaenyra wiped away your tears.

You were never enough to Alicent, you indulged your self in your studies, you sought out religion just to gain praise that never came, you were the prettiest girl in court yet she always had criticisms about your appearance or your poise.

You watched as his glassy eyes closed and he fell asleep but you continued running your hand through his greasy hair, his words heavy on your mind.

"What did he do now" you heard Aemond say as he leaned against the wall near you, "mother seemed upset"

You were quiet, "she hit him again, told him he wasn't her son" you murmured.

The soft snores filled the gap in the absence of conversation, "how can you love him" Aemond broke the silence watching you closely. "He is terrible, you've seen it firsthand cleaning away his messes, he doesn't deserve it"

You paused your movements, "because if i do not who will? Hel cannot comprehend most emotions, Father hates us, you cannot stand him.” You swallowed taking a shaky breath, “He is right, Mother hates me as well but i am strong unlike him, Aegon is weak he cannot handle the pressure placed on his head.

Aemond came to sit next to you, "she intends to send me away" you stated looking up at him, "to the grand sept the learn the ways of septas"

He nodded watching your face closely, "how do you know this?" You giggled shaking your head, "you learn quite a bit with kindness Brother"

"You do not wish for that?" He asked grabbing your smaller hand, it always fit with his like the missing piece to a puzzle as if you were made for him. He swallowed at the thought of you moving far away from him where he couldn't protect you.

You sighed, "To live a life under false religion just to please the woman that wishes i didn't exist does not sound too appealing to me"

"I am a Targaryen i belong here with my family" you stated in Valyrian, "I am not a Hightower no matter how much I resemble them they will not force my dragon to rot in the Pits because I cannot bring him with me"

"You asked me before if I was truly upset by the idea of father dying but to be honest I am not, I'm more afraid of what mother will do after he's gone" you whispered.

Aemond gripped your hand tighter as the mother tongue came from you soft lips, the beautiful words sounding like a song.

"What if I propose an idea to mother" he hesitated to ask in fear of what you would think. You hummed in confusion, "What is it?"

Aemond looked down at his brother laying his head in the lap he had decided was his, "I shall Marry you"

[pickingupmymercedes]

She's not here, but she'll be - Lewis Hamilton (NSFW)

Series: She's not here, but she'll be / She's here and she's ours / She's here and she's not only ours / She's here and she's just like you

requests: "hello can i request one with lewis where he has been having a baby fever ... fluff and smut of course. and can we have a very slow and sexy one because he wants to take his time with her 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻" - anon 2 ;

"hi, can I request a prequel to She's here and she's ours ... maybe it was hard to conceive and things weren't always all flowers" - anon 1

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of troubles with infertility, unprotected sexual activities (all sorts)

Also, wrap it before you tap it guys

wordcount: +2K

a/n: Combined requests again because anon 2 asked for something that gave me the idea for the prequeal (sorry for how long it took anon 1, but hope the wait was worth it)

a/n.2: The tone of this whole series is mixing angst and fluff, this time I added a bit of smut too, hope you guys like it

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT

______________________________________________________________

The discarded ovulation test lay on the bathroom counter, a white plastic screaming what her ovulation app had already warned to. Y/n stared at it, not really sure she even wanted to know about it that month.

The more you want something, the harder it is. That's what they said anyway, and apparently it wasn't any different when it came to “trying” to get pregnant, a euphemism that felt increasingly hollow with each passing cycle.

Doctors assured her a year was still considered normal, but the constant hum of wanting, the way it colored every conversation, every shared glance, was starting to wear on them both.

Six months. Six months of basal body temperatures, ovulation predictors, and Lewis’ frustrated attempts at scheduling "baby time" around his chaotic schedule.

“Again?” as Lewis emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, he saw her face, then the test on her hands and his smile faltered.

He sighed, walking over to wrap his arms around Y/n. She leaned into him, but the spark of hope she usually felt was absent.

"It's been too long, Lew" she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. " The schedules, apps, and ovulation calendars. It's driving me insane."

“Maybe we just need to try harder” he suggested, trying to be optimistic. But the forced cheer didn't fool her.

“Harder?” Y/n pulled back slightly, the edge in her voice surprising even herself. “Lewis, it's like we're robots. Everything's always timed, charted…”

Lewis turned to face her. "You think I enjoy this? Every time we fail, it's like there's this... pressure. Like if it doesn't work, it's my fault."

Y/N looked up, her eyes meeting his. "It's not about fault. It's about us. It feels like we’re losing sight of why we wanted this in the first place."

"It's not supposed to feel calculated, is it?" he said, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his tone. "We both want this, right?"

"Of course, we do," Y/n insisted, her voice a touch too sharp. "But it's like we're robots following a program instead of… you know, a couple."

He took a step back, his face contorting with hurt. "That's not fair, Y/N. We’re trying our best here. Circumstances might not be the most ideal but it’s what we got"

Tears welled up in her eyes, her frustration boiling over. Lewis's shoulders slumped as he saw the evident fear in her eyes, his anger giving way to hopelessness. "I just... I don't know what else to do."

"Maybe," Y/N's voice held such certainty that surprised even herself, "maybe we should take a break.

Lewis raised an eyebrow, a flicker of surprise starting to take hold in his eyes. "A break? From trying?"

"Yeah," she took a deep breath before continuing, a growing conviction in her tone. "From the apps, schedules, calendar, the whole... stress. We just focus on us, and why we want this."

He was silent for a moment, considering her words. "What if it takes even longer?"

"Then... we'll deal with that when we get there," she said, her hand gently touching his cheek. "I want this pregnancy, but not like this. Not at the cost of us."

Lewis closed his eyes for a moment, the weight of their struggles hanging heavy in the air. He shook his head with an understanding nod "We've been so caught up in this that we've forgotten about us." he whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

"I love you; you know ?!" she whispered, the words catching him by surprise in their suddenness. She hadn't said them in days, maybe weeks, the unspoken worry choking the words back.

Lewis tilted his head, his gaze searching hers. "I love you, always." His voice was laced with tenderness. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. "We'll get there " he whispered. "We'll have our family. I believe that with all my heart."

The positive pregnancy test felt surreal. Lewis and Y/n sat on the bed, the silence in the room only broken by the soft hum of the air conditioner. The digital test lay between them, its stark message still blinking: "Pregnant 5-6 weeks."

Y/n turned to Lewis, her eyes wide with a mix of shock and disbelief. "This can’t be real," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I’ve been on the pill... we weren’t even trying."

Lewis stared at the test, then at her, his mind struggling to process the information. "We haven't thought about having kids for over a year." he stated, his voice filled with bewilderment

Tears filled Y/n’s eyes, but this time a mix of confusion and hope. "I didn’t even think about missing my period." she confessed. "I thought it was just the stress of the season, the move, the change in routines…"

Lewis wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "This is real," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "We’re really going to be parents."

They sat there for a while, holding each other, the reality of their news slowly sinking in. The past months of not even considering pregnancy, of relying on birth control, seemed to amplify the miracle of this moment. The weight of their previous struggles felt lighter, replaced by the shock and anticipation of the new life they had miraculously created.

"Five to six weeks," Y/n murmured, looking at the test again. "How could this happen?"

Lewis frowned, trying to remember. "What were we doing around then?" he asked, his brow furrowing in thought.

Y/n bit her lip, feeling a pang of guilt. "I don’t know... maybe I missed a pill or something. But I really thought I was careful."

Lewis looked at her thoughtfully, his fingers tracing soothing circles on her hands “That’s not on you love, we decided on no condoms, remember?! We knew it could happen”.

Then, out of the blue with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Wait a minute," he said, his eyes lighting up with realization. "Silverstone."

Y/n’s eyes widened as she remembered and stated "Silverstone!” Lewis nodded, a grin spreading across his face. Y/n's cheeks flushed as she recalled the night. She looked at Lewis, a smile spreading across her face despite the lingering shock.

Lewis looked at her, his grin widening. "It makes sense, doesn't it?"

Y/n laughed softly, shaking her head in disbelief. "I guess we were celebrating more than just you that night."

"We were celebrating us" Lewis said, his voice filled with warmth and love. "And now, we have even more to celebrate."

He leaned in, kissing her tenderly, resting their foreheads against each other when they pulled back.

"We're going to be parents," she whispered, the reality finally settling in.

"We're going to be parents," Lewis echoed, his heart swelling with joy and excitement. "I love you, Y/n. And I love our little one so much already."

The Silverstone circuit buzzed with the electric energy of a crowd celebrating a hero’s homecoming. Lewis, now a Ferrari driver, had held his own, going from p3 at the starting line to the tallest step of the podium, beaming as the Union Jack waved above him.

After the race, the celebration shifted to a more intimate setting. Lewis’s family, Y/n, and a tight-knit group of friends gathered at a house in the countryside nearby. The energy of the race lingered, laughter and music filling the air. It was a night of toasts.

As the party slowly wound down, the house fell silent. Guests retired to their rooms, and the sun began to hint at its arrival on the horizon, leaving Lewis and Y/n by themselves in the garden, the weight of the day finally sinking in.

“Can you believe it?” Lewis whispered, his voice hoarse from cheering. He was sprawled on the couch, Y/n nestled against him.

“You were amazing,” she murmured, her fingers tracing the lines of his jaw. “I’m so proud of you.”

He kissed her forehead gently, his eyes closing as he felt the exhaustion wash over him. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ll celebrate properly tomorrow.”

Y/n nodded, her eyelids heavy and he led them to their bedroom.

Morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the unknown room. Y/n stirred, her body snug against Lewis’s as he spooned her, one arms securely holding her close and the other serving as her pillow.

As she shifted, she felt a familiar pressure against her back. She turned slightly, her eyes opening to find Lewis still asleep, his breathing was steady, but she could feel his arousal pressing into her. A soft moan escaped his lips as he dreamt, his hips subtly moving against her.

Y/n smiled to herself, a gentle warmth spreading through her at the feeling of him. She shifted again, trying not to wake him, but his eyes fluttered open. “Morning,” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

“Morning, champ,” she replied softly, turning her head to look at him.

He grinned, his eyes twinkling despite the lingering fatigue. “I must have been having a really good dream,” he joked, his hand sliding down to rest on her hip.

Y/n chuckled, pressing back against him. “I noticed” she teased rubbing her ass with a bit more vigor against him.

She could feel his arousal growing more insistent as his breaths came out in hisses. She bit her lip, considering their options. “Do you think anyone’s awake?” she whispered, glancing towards the door.

“Probably,” Lewis replied, his hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to caress her skin. “But we can be quiet.”

A shiver ran through her at his touch, and she nodded. “I doubt you’ll let me” her voice dropping to a whisper. He smiled mischievously, his fingers trailing up her side. “I’ll try,” he promised.

Slowly, he rolled her onto her side, spooning her again from behind. He nuzzled into her neck, his hand sliding down to the waistband of her shorts. She held her breath as his fingers slipped inside, brushing against her most sensitive spot.

She gasped softly, biting her lip to stifle the sound. “Lew” she breathed, her hips instinctively pressing back against him.

“Shh,” he whispered, his lips grazing her ear. His fingers moved with deliberate slowness, teasing and exploring until she was panting with need. Her hands gripped the sheets, trying to stay quiet as he worked her up.

When he finally slid a finger inside her, she had to bite down on the pillow to keep from crying out. He added another finger, stretching her gently, his movements unhurried and tender. She could feel his breath hot against her neck, his own restraint evident in the way he held her.

“You’re so wet,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “Are you ready for me?”

“Yeah” she whispered, barely able to speak. “Please.”

He positioned himself at her entrance, his hands gripping her hips as he slowly pushed inside. She moaned softly, the feeling of him filling her almost overwhelming. He paused once he was fully seated, giving her time to adjust, the pause also helping him control his breathing.

When she took a deep breath, relaxing into the sensation of him with a “You can move.” he started with slow, gentle thrusts, his arms wrapped tightly around her. The rhythm was languid, each movement measured and precise. Y/n’s breaths came in short, quiet gasps, her body trembling with each stroke.

The room was filled with the sound of their breathing, the occasional creak of the bed as they moved together. Every so often, she had to remind him to stay quiet, her whispers blending with his low grunts.

When he hit a particularly sensitive spot, she bit back a cry, his hand reaching to cover her mouth. She licked her fingers, his thrusts becoming more insistent with the scene.

“I can’t… I’m so close,” she panted, her voice muffled against his hand, her body arching against him.

“Just a little longer, love, I’m almost there.” He quickened his pace, each movement somehow reaching deeper.

Lewis’s body tensed, his toes curling as he felt her walls starting to flutter, and with a final, deep thrust, he came shortly after her, their bodies shaking with the intensity of it. She buried her face in the pillow, stifling her cries as Lewis held her tightly and lowly grunted into her neck.

For a moment, they lay there, catching their breath, the room filled with the soft glow of morning light. Finally, Lewis pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder, just below where he had left his mark, his arms still wrapped around her.

“Best celebration ever,” he whispered, a satisfied smile on his face. Y/n laughed softly, turning her head to kiss him. “Next time though, we’ll wait until I can have my way with you, no muffed moans”

She chuckled, nuzzling into his neck. “Deal.”

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge @timmychalametsstuff @jpgnsf

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[mangowafflesss]

what do you think the 141 would do if they find out reader was ghosted by some guy she was talking with for a few months?

GHOSTED | 141 x F!READER

I do not like this at all. Please forgive this atrocity. CONTENT: MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE | SWEARING | SUPPORTIVE FAMILY-ISH DYNAMIC <3

Three months ago, you had met this guy, Joe. He was nice, handsome and someone you loved talking to. However, you could only ever talk on the phone but he didn't seem to mind what you did for a living.

So sweet and understanding.

One morning you woke up and when you checked your phone, you felt something was off. There were no text messages from Joe like usual, but you shrugged it off and sent him one before throwing your phone down and getting on with your day.

A couple of days later, still no texts or calls. It was unusual, he was always the biggest on communication. Always sending texts about his day but nothing.

When it turned the week mark, it came to your attention that he had in fact ghosted you. You had checked his social media and also found out he blocked you on everything.

Which was not so sweet.

You were a little hurt inside, after thinking he was the one you would want to date after years of nothing.

When you went to the gym the next morning, you felt annoyance seep into your workout. Why didn't he just say something to you? Why be an asshole?

You threw your fists at the punching bag and heard the sound of clapping sound behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you see Soap and Gaz standing there with amused looks on their faces.

"Whoever you're imagining that bag to be should be worried" Gaz chuckles and you smile softly before sitting down on the bench beside you "Sadly I can't hit the real thing" you murmured before taking a sip of your water bottle.

"Oh, so you are picturing someone. Who?"

Here we go. You rolled your eyes but the two biggest gossip mongers sit on either side of you with hopeful looks in their eyes, waiting for you to spill the beans.

Taking a deep breath, you run your hands over your thighs and groan. "You know that guy I was talking to for a couple months?"

"Mr. Nice guy?" they say at the same time and you feel them get closer to you, their faces rather close for comfort. You hated when they did this.

"Yeah well, he ghosted me" you deadpan and they gasp in unison while looking at each other.

"What a dick" you hum in agreement and feel them take one of your hands in theirs. "We got you, he can go die for all we care" "Good idea Soap"

You see them give one another a look and before you know it, you're hoisted off the bench and carried all the way towards what you know is the Captains office.

"What are you doing? Put me down!" you yell but your voice is useless.

You're sat in one of the chairs opposite Prices desk and he raises a brow in confusion, because you know for a fact they just busted their way inside without knocking.

"Tell him what happened" Gaz says breathlessly and you shake your head "Its not important-"

"The guy she was talking to ghosted her! Can you believe it?!" Soap interupted you and Price leant forward on his desk with his hands rested under his chin.

"Mr. Nice guy?" he asks and you sigh "Can we please stop calling him that" you groan while rubbing your forehead where a headache is starting to form.

"I'll get my knives" you heard a voice say and jolted your head up not realising Ghost was in the room.

"I don't think that's necessary"

Ghost shrugs while standing in the corner, backing down, for now.

"Oh come on! let ghost after him, it'll make him regret not seeing how amazing you are"

"Yes, shaking him to his core. Guys it's fine, I'll get over him" you say simply and Price smiles "We are here for you, if he contacts you. Let me know" you nod your head while standing from your chair and leaving the office.

"I want to every single piece of information on him, got it?" John commands and everyone moves around the room in sync.

"Already working on it"

"Lets go visit this bastard"

[joostsblog]

I really love all your Joost fics, and thank you so much for the Aggu crumbs 💕

Do you take Aggu requests too? There’s this one Aggu tiktok (the grape video) and I was wondering if you could do an Aggu x Reader where reader is the one feeding the grapes jokingly at first, but then it turns into something intimate

Yes, I saw the grape video and I think I get appeal 😌 This is a shorter one but I hope you enjoy it anyway & I hope it's fine with you that I also snuck a bit of Joost x reader in there 🤭

picnic day ~ Ski Aggu one shot

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Ski Aggu x reader (also a sneaky Joost Klein x reader, sry i had to)

Description: When you almost lose all your hope getting with Joost, Aggu proposes an interesting idea to get the two of you together.

Word Count: 0.9k

A/N: I usually don't write for Aggu but loved this idea so here you go💌 requests still open although I can't promise too many as I'll be on vacation the next two weeks ☀️ if you liked it, you can show your support by leaving a reblog 🫶

Warnings: mention of weed, not proofread

"Aggu!" you said with a big smile as you saw the blonde man walk up to you.

"(Y/N), what's up?" Aggu asked while engulfing you in a hug.

"Nothing much, you're the first person to be here," you shrugged and motioned to the picnic blanket you had already spread out on the grass.

"I expected nothing else," Aggu laughed and sat down on the blanket.

The both of you had a reputation within your friend group for always being punctual while everyone would be late. You were glad that at least you weren't the only person and secretly you liked it because it meant that every time you would hang out in a group you would get Aggu an extra 15 to 30 minutes just to yourself. So you couldn't complain, really. It was a warm late spring day, summer just around the corner. The park was lively but not too packed. Aggu was wearing a tight football jersey which hugged his figure and especially his upper arms very nicely.

It had only been recently when you looked at Aggu with different eyes. It happened when you were out partying a few weeks ago and the music was so loud, the club was so packed that you stood so close to Aggu that he had to lean down to you and closely whisper into your ear to tell you something. When the hairs on your arms shot straight up and suddenly you got all shy around him. Prior to this moment, you didn't know that Aggu could have this effect on you (maybe because before that Joost was all you could think about but right now your mind was preoccupied with the German rapper). Since you caught your little crush on Aggu that only grew by the minute you really appreciated how much of a flirty personality he had. Any joke or touch you shared would never be taken in the wrong way by him, that you were sure of.

"I got us some beer and cookies," Aggu announced as he unpacked the goods from his bag. "Also this," he held up a packet of weed. He laid down on his side only propped up by his elbow.

"Nice," you grinned. "I brought some hummus and veggie sticks and some grapes," you pointed to the food already on the blanket.

"I would love some grapes right now," Aggu pointed to the packet of grapes in front of you.

"Be my guest," you said.

"But I'm so comfortable right now," Aggu pouted. "Will you feed them to me? Please?" he said with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever," you said and opened the package. You didn't make the effort to actually pluck the grapes from the vine. He'll have to do that himself, you thought. Instead, you just scooted a bit closer to Aggu so you could comfortably reach him. You dangled the vine of grapes above his head so that he could reach the grapes with his mouth.

Aggu shot you a quick shot and a grin before he opened his mouth and took some of the grapes into his mouth. You realised the position you put him in really didn't help you to cure the crush anytime soon. You watched Aggu's face intently. How sharp and godlike his jawline looked from the side. How lush his lips looked as they wrapped around the grapes. How he closed his eyes as if he was leaning into a kiss. How the stubble on his face might feel against your fingers or maybe even between your thighs. You tried to ban those thoughts to the back of your head immediately.

"You also want one?" Aggu asked after he swallowed.

"Sure," you said and before you could pick a grape yourself Aggu went in again and plucked a single grape from the vine using his mouth.

He nodded and angled his head upwards to you, the grape positioned between his front teeth. There really was no way you could misread the invitation Aggu was sending you right now. You bit your lip and put your hand on Aggu's shoulder before you leaned down, your heart almost beating out of your chest. Your lips softly touched Aggu's as you took the grape and sucked it into your mouth. Instead of pulling back you suddenly felt Aggu's hand on your cheek, holding you just in place. Now your lips were properly pressed on Aggu's. The kiss was soft and sweet and yet you could feel arousal building up inside your lower stomach, wishing you could be in private and alone with Aggu right now.

"Are we interrupting something?" you heard your friend Bianca's amused voice behind you.

You let go of Aggu and looked up at her, embarrassment overcoming you. Behind Bianca was Joost who you noticed didn't look so amused like Bianca, his facial expression blank. You let go of Aggu's shoulder as you shifted your position beside him.

"What's up?" you asked the two of them nonchalantly and Bianca started ranting about the Tinder date she had been on just last night.

You could feel Aggu shifting closer to you again as he leaned over to whisper in your ear. Just for a second, your gaze crossed Joost's stare across from you but before you could even react he quickly looked away.

"If you're free tonight we can continue this," Aggu's voice seductively danced over your ear and you smiled.

"I'd like that very much."  

[moonydustx]

How about Law x Female Reader, where they switch bodies. It could be unexpected or intentional from Law. There's smut, spicy, and reaction from the Heart Pirates. Before the smut scene, both Law and Reader experience their daily life in their new bodies.😊😂

Hi Hi! All good? I saw your requests and I loved them all, I will do my best to deliver them soon. Just a small observation, maybe I'll do them in just one part (or two at most), I hope you don't hate me for it. Well, let's go!

I believe it would be an intentional change, but I made a small adaptation to your suggestion. And, probably part two would be them applying everything they learned about their loved one's body (that is, more smut)

And yes, below the cut we have a huge story

The Change

Law x F!Reader

warnings: pre-established relationship, they exchange a type of bet, mentions of harassment (nothing explicit or detailed). Smut, they talk a lot because they are two idiots understanding how their loved one's body works. mdni

a/n: I loved writing this! Maybe I got a little lost in the smut, I confess that I have a little difficulty with this topic (but I like writing). Spoiler and a reminder because I don't know if it's clear: during the whole smut they are still in each other's bodies.

requests here | rules and guides | masterlist

Comments, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

NSFW | MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

"You wouldn't survive a day in a woman's body."

Ikkaku's speech, surrounded by laughter and glasses of drink spread across the table, dictated how drunk you all were, including the captain himself, since that was one of the nights he allowed himself to have one drink or another.

"I'm sorry, how?" Shachi hung on the other side of the table, indignant at his colleague. "You wouldn't survive a day in a man's body."

"How not?" You settled down on the bench, punctuating each topic mentioned. "Cramps, hormones, stress. The list is long, I wanted to see you get through a week like this."

"They definitely couldn't handle it." Ikakku supported you.

"Captain, what do you think?" Penguin asked and all attention turned to Law, who just denied with a brief and almost imperceptible smile. "Don't tell me you're going to take their side."

"I prefer not to express my opinion." he replied, downing some of the drink

"Is that because you're on their side or because you don't want to disagree with them?" Shachi encouraged, watching you stick your tongue out at him. "The captain is too smart to pick a fight."

"He knows what's good for him." you grumbled

"The question you didn't ask is: would you survive in Bepo's place?" Law diverted the topic to the bear, who was distractingly eating.

"No, definitely not." with Bepo hearing your response and pretending to be offended, the matter ended in loud laughter.

The night passed peacefully, other crewmates joined the table and the night that was intended to relax and clear your head became a meeting - fueled by drinks and stupid topics - between all the friends present there.

The sun was about to rise when you decided to return to Polar Tang and before you could follow the corridor that led to the room you shared with Ikkaku, you felt two arms pull you back and your back hit something.

"Hmm, it looks like tonight I'll sleep alone, see you tomorrow." your roommate laughed and waved.

"I feel sorry for the captain, now she's going to make him pay for not taking sides." Shachi teased the two of you, also leaving and leaving the hallway alone.

Amidst not very steady steps and stolen kisses when you were alone, you and Law arrived in his room. It was a rare sight to see the captain let himself get drunk, but you couldn't deny that it was at least funny and interesting.

"Well, since Shachi brought it up…" you pushed Law, who stopped sitting on the bed, supported by his elbows and watching you take off your clothes. "What's your opinion on men being able to handle being women?"

"I really can't think when you're about to get naked in front of me." he responded immediately and saw you let your arms fall, your bra remaining in the same place. "Okay, I got it, I got it." he laughed.

"Depending on your opinion, we'll stop here." Your light tone indicated that it was nothing more than a joke.

"I don't think either of you could bear to live in the other's shoes, but I have to agree that you women took this matter too seriously." he pointed out and saw you cross your arms. "What are you thinking?"

"I have an idea!" you approached him, stopping millimeters from where he was lying. Your hands went to your bra again and took it off, as well as your panties. "You'll have to live in my shoes for a week and I'll have to live in yours."

"What does that mean?" Inert to any thought other than your naked body in front of him, Law gave you space to sit on his lap. "Do you want me to change us?"

"Yes, just like you did with the Straw Hats." you proposed and saw him just watching you quietly. Trying to give him more encouragement, you moved your hips against his body. His hand, which was just resting on your thigh, dug into your flesh. "Please babe."

"How about tomorrow?" Without much effort, he turned you over on the bed and fit himself between your legs. "Now I have more pressing matters to attend to."

What little was left of the night was occupied by your tangled bodies and almost hidden moans - this was a small problem because when alcohol was in your body and his, it became much more difficult to disguise certain things.

The next morning, you woke up much later than usual. The sheet had become a big lump around you and Law still had you trapped in his arms.

"Good morning my love." you whispered, watching him sink into your neck.

"Good morning my heart." he grumbled, not having much courage to face the day.

"It's tomorrow." you pointed out and saw him finally open his eyes, unsure of what that meant. "You promised!"

"It's hard not to promise something with you like that on top of me." despite him saying that, he knew he was in trouble and that you wouldn't let it go. "Just give me time to properly wake up and we'll sort this out." and despite him grumbling, he couldn't contain his smile when he saw you excited.

After taking a shower and resolving what was most urgent, Law entered the room again, also finding you ready to face the day.

"Everything okay, can we switch?" you asked, seeing him close the door behind him.

"First some rules." he pointed out. "First, this stays between us, second, no doing anything I would never do with my body."

"That includes…"

"The list is long, if you have any doubts about what I wouldn't do with my body, please ask me." You nodded immediately. "And you, any rules?"

"To be honest, I can't think of anything very specific right now."

"Right. I'll definitely regret this." he mumbled the last part just to himself, but you laughed excitedly. "Room. Shambles."

The first thing you felt was butterflies in your stomach and a little dizziness. Soon after, an immediate strangeness took over you when you heard your voice speaking to you.

"It's normal to feel strange at first." Law, now in your body, scored. Your eyes, now his, roamed all over your body, which was also now his. "This is strange."

"Do not tell me." you were startled when you heard the thicker timbre of Law's voice, which now belonged to you. "This is fantastic."

You went to the table next to the bed and picked up the small bottle of water, downing it in one go.

"What are you doing?" Law asked, adjusting the clothes he was wearing.

"I really want to know what it's like to pee in this." You pointed to the waistband of your pants. "I think every woman has asked herself that question."

"I already regret it." he murmured and walked over to you, taking a paper from the pocket of the pants you were wearing. "Before we exchanged, I resolved most of the pending issues that needed more attention, here I left some daily tasks that I need to do."

"And you, will you know what I do?"

"Honey, I'm the captain, if I don't know what my crew members do, I don't deserve that title." He pointed out and hugged your waist, resting his head against your chest.

"Are you really doing this to see if it's as good for me as it is for you?" you pointed out and felt him nod against your skin.

"Its confortable." He knew it was one of your favorite ways to hug him, what he didn't admit was that he loved having you there in his arms too.

"I know." You said, gently grabbing his chin and bringing your lips to his.

At first it was strange, kissing the lips that once belonged to you, but now some of Law's actions were starting to make more sense to you, like having to hold back so as not to turn a small peck into a kiss and then into sex. It was supposed to be just a peck, but it only took a few seconds for your hands to get caught in his hair - again, which was once yours - and little by little your body guided his to the bed.

"No babe." Law asked and you immediately walked away. "No sex while we're changing."

"Really?" you let out a sigh, seeing him nod. Before answering, you did a quick mental calculation. Oh man, Law would definitely regret this. "We'll see!"

"We'll see?"

"Yeah, we'll see." you insisted, moving away from him. By your count, you were ovulating and it was the phase of the month in which your libido was at its highest. That would work on him, wouldn't it?

The first day seemed to be the easiest. Each one occupying a role alone, each one following their own small calendar of tasks. When the two of you passed each other, only a brief glance was exchanged.

The second day, however, was much more complicated. Perhaps due to the more reserved behavior of the two of you, some crewmates were starting to find it strange. It was starting to become almost impossible to hide some things.

"Captain!" Bepo greeted you as soon as you found him, an open map and log sitting on the table. "I needed to clear some doubts with you."

"Of course Bepo, how can I help you?" you walked closer, analyzing the map ahead.

"The log pose finishes recording in one day, and according to this map we found, we might be thrown to this island here." he pointed out. "From what we talked to some locals, it's peaceful."

"Okay and what do you need my help with?" you insisted, analyzing.

"Actually, I just wanted to check with you if we're going out tomorrow?"

"I need to think about it." you lied, in fact you needed to consult the real Law. "Can I give you that answer later?"

"Of course captain!"

"I need to sort out some other things, but if you need to, just call me." you left with a brief wave and smile in Bepo’s direction.

The second act of distrust came from Ikkaku. You and she were supposed to organize the supplies purchased on the island and generally, that was the time you used to chat. This time, however, you seemed quieter than usual. Little did she know that she was side by side with the captain the entire time.

"So, everything is alright in your little paradise?" she tried to start a conversation, seeing Law look as if there was a huge question mark between the two of them. "Your relationship with the captain, you haven't brought any news in a while."

"Everything is alright." he limited himself to saying, not knowing how much the two of you talked about it.

"I imagine so. You know, I think it's really beautiful the way you two take care of each other, even if not in front of us. You seem much happier in the last year that you've been together." She scored and returned to her tasks, still with a small doubt about her behavior.

It was at breakfast on the third day that you ended up slipping and showing off. While Law filled his plate with healthy things and a huge cup of coffee, you grabbed a few pieces of bread and started eating.

"I knew!" Shachi shouted, from across the table. "I knew it all along!"

"Know what?" you asked, trying to maintain the serious posture your boyfriend usually had.

"You two switched places." he stood up, standing behind the two of you. "Bread, we all know Law would kill himself if he ate that." he pointed to his plate. "And coffee, we know you'd rather drink poison."

"I don't believe it, it's true!" Ikkaku approached the dishes, analyzing them. "That's why you didn't want to gossip with me."

"Which is why the captain was in a good mood the other day too." Bepo scored. "I liked this idea of ​​yours."

"Law, what's it like to have boobs?" Penguin asked and almost received a collective elbow from his closest friends.

"How did they do that?" Ikkaku took the lead, only seeing the two of you looking at each other, guilty for having been discovered.

"It's just a scientific experiment, we won't give any more details." Law inveighed and saw everyone look confused.

"It's weird to see her being serious like that, like, I know it's the captain." Shachi tried to keep up and gave up. "You guys are making my head hurt."

"Imagine mine." Law pointed out, making you laugh and attracting everyone's attention.

"I didn't know the captain was capable of that." Penguin teased you as soon as he heard you laugh. "Look, it looks like magic."

"Don't be mean." You asked and stood up. "Now everyone hurry up with this breakfast, it's going to be a busy day and we'll be leaving here in…" you bent down, getting to Law's height. "Babe, the log pose has already registered the next island, when do we leave?" you whispered.

"Tomorrow." he replied, in the same low tone.

"We leave here early tomorrow." you finished, hearing your classmates applaud.

"You don't do that to me." Law, in your body, was indignant, causing even more laughter.

It was lighter now that everyone knew, even if it was against the captain's wishes and led to absurd jokes - and equally absurd questions - but it made your day easier.

That day, you would begin to put your plan into practice. You put on the clothes that you knew would tease you - in fact, would tease Law on your body. Perfume, some buttons open on the shirt, leaving the tattoos showing. Damn, it was hard to stay in your boyfriend's body.

You just didn't expect to see him show up at the meeting point on the island in a short outfit that you only wore in two situations. First, when you were off duty and boarding the Polar Tang and second, when you knew you were going out for a walk and that Law would be your shadow. That situation didn't apply today, but perhaps it would serve as a good lesson.

"What outfit is that?" you asked and saw him move, showing off his clothes.

"Since you guys changed, I thought it would be cool to show him the practicality of women's clothing." Ikkaku winked discreetly at you. Apparently, you and your friend had the same plan.

"I won't deny it, it's fresh." Law just said, the fabric against his body. You stood up and adjusted your shirt and hair, attracting Law's attention. "And you, don't you think it's a little too much."

"No." you replied with a cynical smile. "Good, assigned tasks, we'll meet later."

You hoped everything would work out and you trusted your crewmates too much to know that despite all the jokes, they would help Law just as he would help you. You just didn't expect that when you found yourself again, you would see a Law wrapped in a cape, walking furiously towards you.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?" He prostrated himself in front of you, watching you laugh.

"Where did you go?" you asked Ikkaku, who was laughing right behind him.

"Only in some sales. Because we need some medicines that we didn't find in the previous purchase, we also need to resort to some not so friendly contacts." she explained.

"You will never, ever go out anywhere like that again." he barked and because it was about being in your body, being smaller than you were in his body, it made the fight cute from your point of view. If it were the other way around, you would be furious. "Better, you don't go out without me by your side."

"Was it that serious?"

"Just some idiots, nothing that was actually dangerous." Ikkaku ignored Law's drama and explained it to you. "He beat some of them up."

"That reminds me that you need to train more, they almost managed to restrain me." Law continued. You just reached out your hand and caressed the top of his head, making him even more irritated.

"Now go tell your little friends how cool it is to be a woman." you pissed him off even more

Night fell quickly and after Law's little drama, you didn't see him around anymore. Except when you went to sleep and found him in the bedroom, trying to reach his shoulder.

"Problems?" you asked, seeing his attentive eyes reach you.

"Just a little soreness in my shoulder after today's fight." he pointed out and you went to him on the bed, sitting immediately behind and taking the role for yourself. "My heart, I'm serious."

"What's serious?" before he continued speaking, an involuntary moan escaped his lips as soon as you began massaging the sore spot. "Were you saying something?"

"That is good." he murmured, throwing his head to the side and giving you more space to work. "But back to the subject, I felt scared today. I know I could take those guys down in seconds, but there was something holding me back, I think it was sensations from your own body."

"I know, I've been feeling some things that I know belong more to your body than to myself." You explained, seeing him nod. "This fear, well, it's common. Every time I meet these types of people I feel this fear, but it doesn't stop me from fighting."

"I need to make some changes, you and Ikkaku will never take on this kind of task again, it's disgusting." he punctuated and gasped when he felt your lips press against the base of his neck.

"This is also a feeling that I know belongs more to my body than your mind." You laughed, letting your lips slide under the skin of his back that once belonged to you.

The shoulder massage began to turn into wet kisses under the skin, your hands slid down his side. One, tracing small pieces of exposed skin and the other, attaching it to his hair and leaving the space that your mouth explored clean. Seeing Law move his hips against the fabric of the bed, you couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you want to review the sex rule?" you whispered in his ear, seeing him gasp. "I know what you want."

"Not yet, just a few days left." Even though the tone of voice betrayed him, Law remained firm in his decision.

At least that's what he thought, or what he wanted.

The worst part about switching bodies, in his view, was that he knew what his body liked - and consequently, you knew about yours. The small problem is that the things that Law liked and that he could use your body to provoke were either too intimate and would give away his plans to you or, if done in a more public place, would arouse an almost crazy jealousy in him - regardless of the body he occupied. As for you, you could take advantage of the fact that firstly: Law was starting to feel his hormones raging, secondly: you didn't need much to attract his attention.

With each touch you gave his body, each time he woke up, you allowed your hands to travel to the places you knew he would like. With each small gesture you saw the small thread that held his sanity inside his body slip away.

The proposal ended the next day, so on the last night you made your final move. The wet body, the tattoos on display and a small towel around his waist was enough.

Law approached you and touched your chest, almost testing what he could feel.

"Okay, I give up on the sex rule." He stated, allowing his hands to find the back of your neck and he stood on his toes to give you a brief kiss. "I'm going to explode if you don't fuck me now."

Without giving space for many thoughts to take over you, you took Law's lips immediately. No calm, no delicacy. Fiercely, your tongue invaded his mouth and you could feel his nails grab the back of your neck, wanting more and more.

A growl escaped you as you felt your cock throb just from that kiss. It was too much for you to bear for long, something inside your body made you want to put Law on your knees and watch him taste what you kept there behind the small towel. Reading your thoughts, you felt his soft hands slide down your back, across your abdomen and one of them rested on top of your cock, stroking lightly over the fabric.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" his voice came out a few tones lower when he disconnected from your mouth, a small thread of saliva that connected the two of you broke. "I can bet it almost hurts just from kissing, you can feel it here." He pressed the part of your skin where the path to happiness was drawn. "You can feel it here too." He let one of his hands enter through the gap in the towel and slide down the entire length of your cock.

"Two can play this game." you pointed out, your hand that was gently holding his hair, squeezed tightly. "The interesting thing is that I thought only I had this kind of desire, but now in your body, it's as if I have to control every instinct."

"What do you want?" the smile on his lips indicated that he at least suspected what was going on.

Relaxing your grip on his hair, you once again took Law's lips to yours, Saliva and lust connected the two of you and for a brief moment, you wished you were a third person, just so you could watch what the two of you were doing.

Your mouth slid to the edge of his ear, some hickey marks being traced on your skin.

"Get on your knees for me, now." you whispered firmly and without even hesitating, you saw him fulfill the request. "I bet you're wet just thinking about it, am I wrong?" you saw him deny it as he pulled back the towel and stared at the dick in front of him. "I could make you beg…" your hands found his hair and a moan escaped your lips as his tongue slid down the entire length. "I could make you choke and I bet your pretty pussy clenches at the thought."

"So we can actually feel each other's instincts? Interesting." Law scored before swallowing your entire cock in one go.

At the same time that the sensation seemed to make you ready to combust, the breath and fresh saliva against your cock left you tied to this earth. You had to control yourself not to push further, to not make him feel even more of you.

The sensation was strange to Law, but at the same time, he couldn't deny that it felt good, that it caused a burning sensation in his center, that made him want to slide his fingers between his legs and give him some of the pleasure you felt but that could wait a little longer.

"Like this, babe, please… So good, take it all for me." you asked in a strangled moan, seeing him look up with innocent eyes.

So that was the vision, that was the fun he saw in having you on your knees for him. It was too good, too good until you saw his lips moving away and even with your hand still tied in his hair, Law stood up.

"I don't want to ruin our little test now." He placed a quick kiss on your lips.

"Test? So you're using this to test something?" you began to gently push him onto the bed.

"No, I'm using this for you to pleasure me, but maybe I can use some information."

"You look so hot being a nerd like that." you pointed out, fitting yourself between his legs.

"Remember: technically, you're the one who looks hot." he laughed at his own observation.

While your lips explored his body, each piece of clothing found a new destination in the room. You could worry about that later. Your hand found the soft skin of her breast and while your lips were attached to one of the nipples, the other was trapped between your fingers. You could feel Law move even more against your skin, looking for some kind of friction.

"What's wrong, honey. Is there a problem?" you let go of your breast and asked.

You felt both of his hands reach you and one of them caught in your hair, directing you back to his engorged nipple, while the other guided your hand to his panties.

"Does this little pussy need me that much?" you asked, just letting your tongue glide over her breasts. Two fingers applied pressure exactly where you knew it would provoke him, only an already soaked fabric separating you from his wet pussy. "This is what you want?"

"Don't make me ask, please." Law grunted, moving against your fingers. "Please, love, please."

"It feels like asking someone who didn't want to ask." You slid your mouth along the remaining length of his body until you reached his intimacy.

Placing a few kisses over the fabric, you saw him cover his face, in a frustrated attempt not to beg for more. God, you wish you had time to make him beg and leave him on the edge, just to watch him become a mess, but that would be for another time. Now, you could barely contain your desire to sink there.

The panties accumulated together with other discarded fabrics and you moved his legs apart, contemplating the excitement that dripped down the lips of the pussy that was now under Law's command. You expected him to beg again or at least ask. However, you watched him slide a hand between your legs, pulling his pussy lips apart and giving him a full view.

"Come here, I know you want to…Fuck!" Law barely had time to speak before you sank between his legs.

That was instinct then, you had barely thought about it before you started sucking him. You started fast, voracious, hearing some moans that were now muffled by his hand, but something pulled you back to reality: you knew exactly what he needed and liked.

You moved away a little just to have space for your hand to place there. Two fingers slid down the entire length of his vulva, lightly caressing her clitoris.

"I'm sorry." You asked, placing a kiss on his thigh. "I know this is better." you pointed out, seeing him throw his head back and muffle another moan. "Babygirl, you're barely able to handle this, and if I…" the words died in your mouth as the two fingers slid to the entrance and penetrated him, the hands on Law's mouth weren't enough to contain his loud moan. "It might be a little too much, but you're going to be a good girl and you're going to take it everything, aren't you?" with the movement of your fingers and your request, you saw him nod with a small groan. "Good girl, I can feel you squeezing me."

Without warning, you again let your lips capture the clit in front of you. In sync with the movements of your finger, little by little you can feel Law constricting you even more - his pussy squeezing you tightly, his legs almost strangling you. It didn't take long for you to feel him cum against your lips, hear him moan loudly and hold his hands against your hair, wanting to keep you trapped there.

You continued slowly, until his body was able to come back from the feeling that every orgasm brought to you. You knew what the experience was supposed to be like for him. Climbing back up, you found Law panting, hands still covering his face.

"Still with me?" you asked and saw him nod. "Need a minute?"

"It's always like that?" he asked and this time it was you who nodded. "Is that why you never let me leave early?"

"Kind of yes." You laughed, placing kisses across his face. "Condoms?"

"You never remember." he chuckled, moving his hand away from his face and allowing you to look at him. "First drawer, at the bottom." he pointed out.

Between the time it took for you to get up, put on the condom and finally slide yourself inside Law, it seemed like seconds. Seconds that could easily be replaced by the eternity you wanted to spend there. You sank into his neck, holding back your own moan as you felt the walls of his pussy around you.

Knowing that you needed a little more encouragement - and maybe concentration to not cum right away - Law let his nails lightly scratch your back, while he kissed the patch of skin he could find.

It took a while for you to understand how it worked and letting instinct guide you, it didn't take long for Law's legs to find themselves against your shoulder as you thrust hard into him.

“Fuck love, ” you groaned, letting his legs fall off your shoulder. "I can't hold it in any longer Law." Instead of speaking, Law moved away just a little and placed himself on all fours, leaving his butt stuck in your direction. "So..Like you once told me?"

"Low game, I know how it feels to see you like this." feeling the tip slide and hit your clit a few times, he just adjusted his hips and let you enter him. "Fuck, so deep. I can feel you…Give it all to me, babe."

Without giving yourself the luxury of thinking - and wrongly, without even asking after all, you knew the curiosity and desire that your body had - you moistened one of your fingers and allowed yourself to caress the other hole. The moan that left Law's lips was intense, almost guttural. You circled the small entrance a few times as you thrust. You could feel your dick throb, the pressure increasing even more each time you heard Law moan loudly.

"Please, I'm almost there. Don't stop, please." amidst sighs and throwing his hips against you, Law begged.

A few more thrusts and you felt him press against you. His shaking legs and tight pussy were enough to make you cum - and honestly, it was much more intense than you imagined.

You took off the condom and threw it in the small trash can next to the bed, eager to finally lay down next to Law and hug him. As soon as he did, you saw him snuggle against your chest and call your name softly.

"Everything is fine?"

"Why do I think I can't walk?" he asked, getting a laugh from you and him. "And why do I think everyone listened to me?"

"We were definitely heard, sorry." you asked, placing a few kisses on his head.

"Is the feeling always this strong?" he asked. "I mean, I see you like this every time, but the feeling is much more intense than the sight. And not to mention, we are two perverts in each other's bodies."

"It depends, sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less." You laughed. "And yes, maybe we are both perverts."

You were silent for a few minutes and as you already suspected it was going to happen, Law yawned and his heavy eyes turned to you.

"Tomorrow we will undo the exchange." he pointed out, his voice much softer than before.

"Yeah, tomorrow we'll undo the exchange ourselves." You sighed and turned to him.

"I can't wait to show you some things I learned."

He said and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him at that moment, it was common when you - when you were in your body - became a mess and were exhausted after a few sessions with Law. Apparently, it was no different with him.

Now, it was just a matter of counting the minutes until you were finally able to show each other the new things you had learned.

[thatsoraya]

WHAT A WAY TO GO

pairing. satoru gojo x reader notes. i wrote this in so hurry. sorry for any mistakes. also, you all can give me any ideas for imagines/fics/headcanons here. since i needed new ideas, it'd be great if you drop by <3

divider by @saradika-graphics

2 0 0 6

the rhythmic squeak of sneakers against polished wood echoed through the gymnasium. gojo, like a blur of white and black, weaved past suguru and shoko, his laugh echoing as he dribbled the ball with impossible ease.

"about time you showed up, lazy bones," suguru drawled, his own movements fluid as he sank a three-pointer.

"busy schedule, you know," gojo winked, his playful blue eyes catching a glimpse of familiar figures entering the gym. nanami, ever the picture of stoicism, haibara, the ever-present strategist, and then there was you, y/n.

gojo felt a familiar tug in his chest, a pleasant tension that always seemed to accompany thoughts of you. you were in the year below them, a rising star in the jujutsu world, renowned for your sharp mind and even sharper technique. not to mention, undeniably attractive.

today, you wore your hair in a high ponytail, highlighting the sharp angles of your face. you were deep in conversation with nanami, a playful smile on your lips, a sight that sent a jolt through gojo. he bounced the ball with exaggerated force, the sound drawing your attention.

you glanced over, your eyes meeting his for a brief moment. he flashed you a blinding grin, earning a roll of your eyes and a subtle shake of your head. gojo's playful facade faltered for a moment. you weren't falling for his usual charms.

the game resumed, suguru schooling gojo on a few missed shots who was trying to see whether you were watching or not, drawing a playful scoff from the blonds. shoko, ever the referee, blew her whistle, calling a foul on gojo for a blatant travel.

"seriously, gojo? weren’t you supposed to be the strongest?," you called from the sidelines, a teasing lit to your voice.

gojo smirked, sauntering over to where you stood. "just letting you admire my skills, y/n."

you raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "more like admiring your lack of them. maybe some extra practice wouldn't hurt."

gojo chuckled, leaning in with mock seriousness. "perhaps you could offer some pointers, sensei?"

"don't push your luck, gojo," nanami interjected, a faint blush creeping up his neck.

gojo straightened, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "just appreciating a talented junior, nanami. no need to get jealous."

nanami scoffed, looking away. you, however, remained unfazed. "talent only goes so far, gojo. hard work matters more."

gojo tilted his head, intrigued by your indifference. most women used to swoon over his looks and strength. yet, you seemed completely unbothered.

"she's so cute," gojo murmured under his breath, more to himself than anyone else. "intelligent, smart, and sexy."

suguru caught his words, a smirk playing on his lips. "she could eat you alive, you know."

gojo didn't even flinch. "what a way to go out," he winked, returning to the court with renewed enthusiasm. he started playing with a ferocity he hadn't shown before, effortlessly stealing the ball from suguru and sinking a series of impossible shots. but all the while, his eyes kept drifting back to you, studying your every reaction.

he noticed you weren't cheering for him, nor were you scoffing at his missed shots. you were observing the game with a keen eye, analysing his movements, your brow furrowed in concentration. he found it incredibly endearing.

after practice, as everyone was leaving, gojo lingered near the door, hoping to catch you alone. you walked past him with nanami and haibara, a lively debate about cursed techniques playing out between the three of you. gojo cleared his throat, but you just offered a curt nod before disappearing down the hallway.

gojo sighed, a strange mix of frustration and excitement churning in his gut. he liked a challenge, and you were definitely a challenge. you were strong, intelligent, and completely immune to his usual charms.

that night, as gojo lay sprawled in his bed, a mischievous grin spread across his face. this wouldn't be over anytime soon. satoru gojo, the strongest sorcerer alive, had finally found something interesting. and he intended to win you over, one playful jab and stolen glance at a time.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for venting?

Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)

So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.

I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.

I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.

I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.

Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.

He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.

However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.

I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.

So, am I the asshole?

(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)

[ladyamortencia]

Okay another parallel in this season this author noticed. When Penelope reads his journal, Colin had written about how

"He felt such intimacy but also such a great distance."

He then goes on to say something similar to the dumb ass lords when he goes out drinking with them, specifically asking

"If they find it tiring to be so cavalier about the one thing that's supposed to hold a genuine meaning and if they find it lonely."

They laugh at him like he has completely lost it. But do you know who didn't laugh at him? Who told him that his writing was brilliant? Who wanted to read more if he let her? His Penelope. The only person who has truly appreciated his thoughts, but most importantly his feelings. The feelings that he is forced to lock away as soon as he puts on his armor to be the

"Man society expects him to be."

Penelope doesn't expect him to be that man. She only expects him to be Colin which includes all those feelings. She cares about all parts of him, not what society has deemed important. Penelope is so enamored and loves this man so much, she wants to read journals of his inner thoughts. She says that he

"Made writing seem effortless which is so hard to do."

She wasn't talking about the act of writing. That's not the difficult part. What some books and authors lack is a depth to the words, a sense the author or character is more than just those words on the page.

Penelope complimenting Colin's writing solidifies that Pen cares about him as himself. It forces him to realize that she has always been there to listen to those feelings. Was there to respond to his letters. That's why he is so put out when he gets home from the club. He realizes that the one person who truly cares for him, who sees past the facade he puts on, is Penelope.

I think this is where Colin "my wife" Bridgerton really starts. The minute he realizes that he wants to come home every day just to hang out with his best friend. To sit there and talk about real things and deep topics and not just the topical conversation the ton deems appropriate. This man just wants to love and be loved.

The minute Violet mentions the proposal and he takes a moment to think about it, he realizes he can't lose her. He has to try because she is the only one that has ever matched his, ignited the spark in not only his desire, but his heart and mind. This man goes and gets himself his wife before someone takes away the one person who understands him.

[jewishvitya]

I didn't know if my mutual would want this article translated on her post, so I made separate one.

Translating the titles:

Yona Yahav: protests against the war don't need to happen in Haifa.

In a conversation with local journalists Yahav said that he "doesn't think that the freedom of speech should be exercised in Haifa," since the place for political demonstrations according to him is Jerusalem. Sources clarified on his behalf that he means demonstrations by the Arab sector against the war, and not demonstrations against the government at Horev Center. Peace activists asked him to retract this statement: "we thought that Haifa is a city for everyone."

The only democracy in the Middle East!

Yona Yahav is the mayor of Haifa.

Haifa is one of the more mixed cities in terms of Jewish and Palestinian populations.

The article itself mentioned how over the past several months the police forcefully broke up peaceful protests in Haifa, and in a letter by those peace activists they said "many of us participate in demonstrations in both different areas of the city and we're horrified by the violence cops directed primarily at Palestinian citizens of the city, as well as Jews."

Also "where are you and the politicians surrounding you in the just and correct struggle to return the hostages and stop this war? Why don't you speak up against the incitement by the fascistic right wing that took over this country? Don't send any of us to Jerusalem."

[seneon]

SKETCHING SPIDERS ──── rayne ames x fem! reader.

about. whatever you draw on your skin, the same drawing will appear on your soulmate as well. ROYAL! AU. sfw + suggestive, reader's surname is archer, mentions of alcohol. wc of 3.2k.

notes. i'm experimenting. also first week of exams done i have math, business & accounting next week 😭😭

overcast clouds and the grey shades engulf the vast sky. you're seated in the royal room of a class for the children of nobles, fidgeting with a clean feather quill that was played by your fingers.

as usual, it is another boring day as an academic victim of the noble standards. in a classroom full of the descendants or the next heir of royal and noble families, they were all academically intelligent. for the future of their family, of course. that is no surprise, considering you have to study hard to maintain a good status in your family of nobles.

as the tutor continued to speak his mind out about philosophy or the sort, you looked around the classroom. for a high-class classroom, there sure is quite some dust in the high ceilings that nobody could reach up to.

you see many concentric circles woven by threads at the far corner, all meeting at one common centre. a genius idea then sprouted in your mind like the multi-legged creatures that created those corner ceiling webs.

the quill that you were just fiddling with became an item to use as your teacher rambled on and on about the stars and how to read them astrologically. you used it in a wiser way rather than write a bunch of fancy words into sketching. an act that only the royal artists could carry out.

first, you dipped your quill into the ink and lightly flicked the access ink off. then you lifted the sleeves of your lace coral pink dress, turning your left arm the other way. your seatmate, nora martin, watched in silence as her eyebrows scrunched in anticipation of what you were about to do with your lifted sleeves.

“what are you attempting to execute now, lady archer?” nora asked as you shot her a tiny smile. “just a teensy bit bored from mr. valac’s lessons. m’ gonna entertain myself.”

your seatmate, nora of the martin house, does not bat her eyelash or blink in your direction. this is common for her, just like buying groceries to cook.. or waking up to brush your hair with a wooden hairbrush made out of the best wood in the kingdom. she is used to your shenanigans, even if it meant to be a little bit rebellious during the process, such as dirtying your arm in boredom.

well either way, nobody is going to lift your sleeves to inspect your arm, for it is a crime in the law. at least, to people of nobility.

the ink does not easily dry on the surface of your arm, tainting your skin in a hue of black. the feather quill was quite ticklish too, sometimes it occasionally burns mildly against your skin as the tip of the feather drags along to create a small design with the ink.

once it dried, you showed nora your masterpiece. she actually fancied the result, thus praising how good you actually are at painting. for all that you know, your drawn masterpiece will not come off as easily as staining the tip of the quill in black ink.

it is going to be hard to wash it off. to wash the ink off.

“a spider?” kaldo gehenna asked as he inspected the drawing on the left arm of his subordinate. subordinate because the gehenna and the person he speaks to is of the same ranking in the military.

“how'd that appear?”

“i have no answer for you,” rayne ames, captain level replied as he too, inspected the mark that appeared on his arm. “i believe it appeared during the day.”

“i believe so too. i mean, you didn't have it when you dressed up this morning, did you?” kaldo placed his fingers in his chin, trying to find possible solutions as to where a random marking of a spider and a few strands of web marks came from. the military isn't one to have such markings.

now that it is night and it is time to rest and let loose if the days’ happenings, the ames undressed with his most trusted subordinate and the both of them are greeted with a marking of a spider on rayne’s arms.

the knights are only glad that they wore long sleeves. if it had been exposed, rayne was sure that his arm would be sliced off for having such a marking in his arm.

“i heard there is a legend where whatever your soulmate draws on her skin, it will appear on your skin too. perhaps your soulmate drew a spider on heir skin,” the other captain said as he shrugged.

“why in the world would my soulmate draw on her arm? is she a fool?”

once again, the gehenna shrugged and carefully kept his knightly gears back to where they belong. “perhaps she was feeling bored, just like you at today's assembly. two bored souls. you can try to draw something small on your arm to see if that does anything or not.”

left in a plain white button up t-shirt and his black pants, kaldo took his belongings and waved his subordinate good-bye. “well, i hope you find your soulmate soon. you really need some romance in your life, rayne.”

when the ames went home, all he could do was stare at the spider marking on his arms. the only explanation he could gather was that his soulmate clearly used the black ink for writing to draw the insect on her arm. she didn't even try to erase the parts where it went wrong, she just drew on it to create spider webs.

his stoic golden honey eyes that were locked onto the mere insect. fingers slowly tracing over the outlines of the spider legs and the webs behind it. he admits it, his soulmate is good at drawing. perhaps she is a painter, an artist. someone who comes from a lineage of working for the royal family in the line of art.

but if she is his soulmate, why has she drawn something now? why has she not been leaving any suspicious or interesting marks on his skin in his eighteen years of living? why only now, when he was just assigned to the role of a captain in the royal military?

whatever the case, rayne ames could only keep brushing his fingers against the mark that appeared out of mere thin air. he needed to find the cause of this random marking soon.

the fifteenth birthday of the royal prince, mash burnedead. of course his family of princes would host a royal birthday party for him. and of course, all nobles are to attend the young boy's birthday celebration.

so are you and your family. your parents, who stood among all the other noble adults as you stand beside them, their mouths never ending to boast about how well you do in your academics and how well you are in arts.

as if you were their little doll to ramble on and on, you simply stood there with a tiny smile, your fingers occasionally pulling up the elbow gloves so it wouldn't reveal a single speck of the spider drawing you drew just the day before the party.

you already knew it wasn't going to come off easily, considering the quality of the ink is strong enough to stain your white satin curtains for weeks before fully coming out. your parents had forgotten to inform you about the upcoming party of the prince too, making your arm more difficult to cover up since your silk elbow glove is on the shorter side.

“father, mother, if i may excuse myself to the restroom for a few moments?” you asked in a voice that sounded like it was a beg. you just wanted out from the ordeal of having to stand for hours and listen to your parents indirectly praising you while your mouth is kept shut with no place to allow your tongue to twist and turn.

“of course, dear! be back soon, alright?” your mother replied as you nodded and took your elegant bow at them and also at the other noblemen that were lending an ear to your parents.

it was all a simple lie to get you out of this pathetic situation and to escape to somewhere where you can have your own fun and enjoy your own time, whether it being alone or finding another fellow noble that you know off, preferably someone from your class.

your preferences led you outside the ballroom, where it is far from a huge crowd, but filled with people who prefer to be outside the ballroom.

“lady archer! over here!” the monotonous voice which you recognised called out to you as a hand fan waved in the air, signalling for you to journey your way through the hallways to where nora stood.

you made your way through the velvet carpet and curtsied at your friend, before doing so to the guests around her.

“this is noir martin, my idiotic brother of the military army and his friends of the military, lord kaldo gehenna and lord rayne ames,” nora introduced as you curtsied once again.

“they are looking for women to cheer their champagne to,” a horrified expression formed on your friend's face as she pointed her fan towards her elder brother. “especially this man.”

noir held his hands in the air for defense. “hey hey, little sister. it is normal for men who want to find a beautiful wife, isn't it?”

“not if you're a captain leading an army of hundreds of soldiers! they usually perish in battle like the strong mighty soldier they are, honouring their kingdom.”

the martins conversed in an argumentative conversation, kaldo occasionally joining in. while you stood beside nora, covering your left arm. if not, you'd keep pulling your elbow glove up.

it was no surprise that the attentive ames was silently observing you, a gorgeous noblewoman who will soon benefit to the future of the kingdom. the ames is to, one day, serve you, since you are an honoured ally of the royal family.

“oh uhm, i am quite anxious…” you averted his gaze, hands subconsciously moving to cover your arm as rayne's eyes followed your hands. “is there a problem with your arm? are you hurt?”

“you seem to be anxious,” rayne said.

that voice. the honeyed, yet silky voice almost no one in the military dares to defy. it was an addictively dangerous voice to the hearts and souls of many women.

“no! i’m not!”

there it was. the little sneaky spider legs that peeked out from the edge of your satin piece, though unknown to the people around. there was one person that knew about it though. he just happened to blink before he could see the leg peeking out.

“if you insist…” the knight slowly nodded, his hands travelling to the same arm that the spider appeared.

how odd. he's technically doing the same thing you are doing. it's just a different direction to what other humans in the hallways perceive.

“my name is rayne ames, captain of the royal military army. my brother finn goes to the royal academy too,” he bowed.

you did your part to introduce yourself as a proper lady. like any other proper gentleman, rayne took your hands in his and gave your knuckles a chaste kiss.

something he did to your fingers made you flutter on the inside. it was as if he invited butterflies into your body just by his lips touching the silk of your glove. it was no different for the kiss. he kept it chaste, but there was an unexplainable reason that tells you it wasn't just a gentleman gesture he was showing you.

well, the night went past with your newly made friend from the military who shared a mutual amount of laughs and jokes with you throughout the night. what could possibly go wrong?

“sir! there's a spider on your hand!” the voice of a knight exclaimed as rayne glanced at his hands, his eyes widening a little before he attempted to slap it away.

but it does not go away.

it stays.

just like the spider drawing that randomly appeared out of nowhere, completely fading after a few days. but now, a new mark appears. and a new accusation arises.

“could it be his soulmate!?”

“lord ames, perhaps your soulmate is nearby!”

“you fancy spiders, captain?”

the male slapped his palms against his forehead at the words of his soldiers. surely the mark has to appear at a strategy meeting where he is specifically pointing at other nations. there couldn't be a better timing where his hands weren't in the view of other people.

now his darling soulmate has to draw on her hand, close to her thumb, the same silly spider drawing again that appears as a temporary marking to the ames.

as if one time wasn't enough for the rayne to embarrass him and allow his comrades to lose focus of their goals— the marks appear at many other times in situations where he couldn't control. all over his arm.

one night he sat down at his armchair, surrounded by the crackling sounds of the fire. rayne took kaldo’s idea, dipping his feather into washable ink and wrote a stop drawing on your arm with his quill.

a mere simple no form. in response, rayne rolled his eyes, scoffing at how cocky the person on the other end is. he wanted to get this over with so his teammates would seal their mouth shut in the absence of a spider drawing randomly spawning on his skin.

it was hilarious, since it was only his left arm that received such a vulgar insect drawing. rayne gave up and put away his writing materials and went to slumber. he pray that the spider drawings would soon end and he would finally have peace in the army. and also to meet his soulmate who is so interested in spiders.

noir martin is officially wedded to a woman from the house of irvine, to a beautiful classmate of yours, lemon. and the world is to congratulate and celebrate the happiness of the newlywed.

“when am i be wedded to a handsome and strong man…” you muttered to yourself as you let out a sigh. “i could've sworn my soulmate wrote back to me.”

unfortunately your mutters were heard by rayne who stood beside you, serving as your escort for the day.

“oh? how do you already know your soulmate?”

“well. i draw. then he simply told me to stop drawing.”

rayne raised a brow. “if he's your soulmate, then why did he ask you to stop drawing?” in his mind, this soulmate of yours is an extremely selfish and rude man that doesn't deserve you at all.

“because i’m embarrassing him in front of his friends with my spiders.”

spiders.

“spiders?”

“spiders.”

his jaw slightly let loose. rayne couldn't focus on anything else other than to watch your lips move as you complained about your soulmate and spiders.

“my dearest lady y/n of the archer house,” the ames gently took your hand in his and bowed, remaining in his posture, he says, “may i commit a crime and steal you away for a few moments?”

spiders are your new favourite thing to draw now ever since that boring day in your philosophy lesson.

rayne just happened to the extra canvas.

a field of red roses tinted your cheeks red as you ceased the smile that threatened to surface.

“yes you may, lord ames.”

as you finished uttering your words, rayne took your hand to guide you through the huge and long halls of the martin estate. it was silent all the way and you felt nervous. as if there were thousands of spiders who slowly crawled up your back, giving you the chills yet the nervousness that embraced you.

he led you out the huge garden, never stopping until he reached the point where there were stone benches. being the gentleman he is, rayne told you to take a seat as he took off the white glove he wore on his left arm.

rayne took a seat himself, setting his gloves to the side. all while your eyes followed his actions, including the little mark that was just a bit above his pinky finger. you recognised that mark as you seemingly lit up upon seeing it.

“that's a—”

“spider.”

without hesitation, you took out your left arm’s glove. nobody is going to walk into the garden anyways, so it's safe to take off your glove. golden honey eyes immediately locking its gaze onto the same spider that was in the same exact position as the one on rayne's fingers.

“you’re my soulmate!” you exclaimed, gasping in the process.

the corner of rayne’ lips curved upwards a little as he nodded, his fingers tracing the spider that was imprinted on his fingers.

rayne ames is now tracing the undone spider sketches, smudging the ink all over your right thigh as you could feel his hot, ragged breath on your cheek. you faced the other way, your own breath heavy as you shifted in your position.

“trying to draw a spider on your thigh while i’m away on a mission by the king's orders tells me how much you miss me. how much you need me,” rayne said, his golden eyes staring into yours. “then you tried to sketch another in my presence, my lady. what are you trying to do?”

first of all, how did you get into this situation where both you are under the military captain as he cornered you?

long story short, you were out with your lady friends, and they were all drinking the night away. as your carriages came to pick you up and your lady-in-waiting cleaned you up after the night full of consuming the kingdom's finest alcohols, soberness left your mind.

the worst is the honoured son of the ames family arriving at your family's estate to give them an emergency visit. well you were not in a state to be speaking to guests, so you were kept in your room.

but rayne insisted on a visit to his beloved darling, and he too, ended up being drunk from the alcohol that you shoved into his mouth with the bottle that you sneaked in the house.

“i need you… and you need me too,” you muttered, lazy eyes scanning all over the white button up t-shirt that rayne wears. how it would be so easy to just tear them open right now.

“do i have you to myself?” rayne set his head at the crook of your neck, shifting up so his mouth comes in contact with your shoulders. the man slightly pulled down the lace sleeves, exposing your bare shoulders to him.

with rayne's lips on your shoulders, you hummed under your breath, resulting in a kiss.

“you are my woman. my soulmate, y/n.”

“forever yours,” you whispered into his ears as he continued to press chaste kisses onto your shoulder, his other hand leaving your sketched and messy thigh to snake it around your waist.

“i’m going to kiss you until those spiders all over your body are all messy. and you will do the same to me, darling.”

TAGS ★ @kyoghurts @caelivir @dragonictears @anqelically @hasumiis @raynesbunny @vash-yuu @sakireiz @futuristicxie @redlabelboom @ilovecandys2010

© SENEON 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

can i request hawthorne headcannons pls :)

hawthorne brothers head canons

hi! i think by this you mean hawthorne brothers so thats what im gonna do, but if you wanted smth else, feel free to request it. @ariscats helped with this one. hope you like them <3.

they absolutely love watching friends together. growing up, every friday night, they'd all make time to get together and watch a few episodes. avery, libby, and max joined their watch parties after ave inherited the money.

when they were kids, they once fought over which brother was the best. they all ended up making powerpoints about it and presenting them to each other (xander ended up winning bc he came up with some really fucking smart shit).

xander used to invite his brothers for tea parties at their treehouse. jamie, gray, and nash knew this meant a lot to xander so they always showed up even when they didn't want to.

xander once made his brothers sit through an entire speech where he just ranted about his favorite book boyfriends.

xander buys all of his brothers flowers every once in a while bc boys deserve to get flowers too.

jameson is usually the one who planned each other brother's birthday parties. whenever other people try to plan it, he comes in, says that his brothers deserve smth big and extragavant, kicks everyone out, and does it himself (no he doesn't end up pranking them. he genuinely comes up with things he knows his brothers would like and stuff)

we all know they have a 911, but they also have something called he 119 (or idk anything works) which they can use as many times as they want and its to tell their brothers that they wish to be alone.

for this to make sense, i hc that jameson loves the wear jewelry (rings, chain necklaces, etc). for jamie's 16th birthday, all of his brothers got him a customized ring with their initials engraved on the inside alongside 'i love you'. its quite simple for a hawthorne gift, but it meant a lot to him (bc tobias convinced him he's worthless) and it's now become his favorite ring (he never takes it off)

grayson's favorite painting he's made is a painting of all of his brothers at the beach having fun in the water. the picture he based himself off of to make the painting dated from before things went to shit with emily which is one of the reasons he loves the painting so much.

they always tease nash bc he's the shortest. sometimes he'll be getting smth off of a shelf (which he can reach perfectly fine), and xander or one of the others will pop up and be like 'let us help you, brother, we know you can't reach high places by yourself'

for halloween, one year, the three youngest ones dressed up as alvin and the chipmunks and nash dressed up as the old man who takes care of them in the movie (i forgot his name)

grayson had a phase where he hated taylor swift and nash and xander (even jameson) were horrified. they spent weeks converting him into a swiftie and it worked. gray is now ashamed of his taylor hater era.

when avery and jameson were in their like friends with benefits era in the hawthorne legacy, nash and xander would not leave him alone. they'd constantly be like 'you dumb fuck, you obviously have feelings for her' and he'd be like 'nah yall are crazy' (grayson was too busy ignoring his feelings)

jameson and grayson used to want to celebrate their birthdays at the same time (like one half of the house was decorated for jamie and the other for gray for two days) when they were younger, but, after emily started tearing them apart, they started to distance themselves from one another and stopped celebrating their bdays together (i think it was mentioned in tbh that they hated having their bdays so close to one another but im choosing to ignore that). for jamie's 20th bday (and gray's 21st), they decided to celebrate together again and xander and nash cried.

xander, jamie, and gray once found nash grinding against a pole (basically pole dancing) to i can fix him (no really i can) by taylor swift. they filmed it and sent the video to libby. they now play it at every single one of his bdays (and his wedding).

gray, xander, and nash filmed jamie a video for his birthday where they just yapped about how amazing he is and how much they love him. jameson managed to keep it together until he went up to his room for the night and started sobbing. his brothers found him and tried to comfort him. that entire day is like a core memory for them.

so this is a libby hc but my moot came up with it and i just couldn't not include it. avery and jameson are libby and nash's first kid's god parents. the kid is named sarah after what libby knew avery's mom as. even after she found out it wasn't her real name, she couldn'y bring herself to change her mind bc she decided on this name when she was nine. anyways, all of the brothers (and avery and max) will babysit the kid and gift her the loudest toys in existence just to piss of nash and libby.

when jamie started to self-destruct after emily, xander and him started to drift apart (they were very very close before it). they used to hang out all of the time, but, after emily, didn't really speak for almost a year. this is one of the reasons why xander accepted tobias request when he asked him to overlook the games in tig. he thought it would be an opportunity to get closer with jameson again.

when they were younger (not nash bc he was older), the youngest ones used to have a color for gifts if that makes sense. like all of jamie's gifts would be green, gray's would be grey, and xander's would be red (he gives off red energy). no one explicitly said they wanted the color, but it sort of just became a thing.

there's a dumb song in how i met your mother called nothing suits me like a suit. jamie and xander made it gray's ring tone (for calls, alarms, etc), and xan programmed it in a way that makes it impossible for gray to change it (only xan can).

[sarnai4]

The Real Deal

The Penguins of Madagascar is a great show for many reasons, but I feel like one is very underrated. Despite being a comedy, it has good villains. I have seen series where the comedy becomes a bigger part, so villains are written as playful obstacles or too silly to really be taken seriously. That does not happen here.

Hans is a villain who not only acts as an antagonist for the show, but he also connects to Skipper's past, adding new layers to the already mysterious nature of the Denmark incident. Because of whatever happened, Hans is that type of villain who won't kill the heroes. He even mentions how he didn't want to fry Skipper in a real volcano. He just wants to make him miserable. These villains are so dangerous because death isn't their goal. In a sense, torture is.

Dr. Blowhole is on the other end of this. He makes it very clear that he wants Skipper dead. Between making him even "most importantly" forget how to swim (as he falls into the ocean, mind you), this dolphin has a penguin-seeking middle. He has plans to make the world suffer for his pain and will destroy anyone in his path.

Rat King is a surprisingly fun villain to me. He easily could have just been the dumb jock kind of enemy who's basically an older version of a high school bully. Despite that, he's pretty clever too, shown when he hustled the penguins out of their habitat. He's also way more ruthless than I gave him credit for being. He had a vat of acid somehow and was going to use it to kill them.

Kuchikukan was not a villain I ever expected to see in the series. Evil spirits weren't on my radar, but this is probably the only time I won't complain about their presence. He was so much fun! He mastered the combination of "light-hearted jokester who messes with the mere mortals" and "all-powerful being who can and will destroy the Earth." That's not an easy balance to strike. It's such a great time to watch him go from an almost laughable threat due to his host body, then show how much he can still do. By the time the episode is over, I know why he was able to destroy a world inside of a cheese loaf.

Blue Hen was a nice way to give the penguins a psychological threat. She knew how to come after them where it mattered most. Go after Kowalski's obsession with science and go after Skipper's position as leader. It's a shame that she only was in season 3 because it would have been fun to see what else she did with more time.

Last, but certainly not least, X. Just X because he's been an animal control officer, zookeeper, exterminator, fishmonger, storekeeper, and unemployed. Of them all, he is my favorite. I love this character so much. He's also got something going for him that I feel is unique to him. You can see the downward spiral of X throughout each episode he's in. Gradually, he becomes more and more unhinged. It makes sense that he's one of the only human villains because he's so competent that he doesn't even need to know what the penguins are saying in order to stop them from doing everything they want. He just was the pinnacle of competency to the point of even freaking Skipper out because he kept failing against him in the zookeeper episode. Through it all, we see X go from this super officer of animal control, then more and more, he loses it because of the penguins. He even gets a cameo in an episode where he's just throwing chopsticks of a poster with the penguins on it and is later shown to have bowling pins painted as penguins. I almost feel bad for him since he really did want to just do his job, but there comes a point when you have to relinquish your obsessions and he's an example of why.

The other villains were also fun to me, but these were my favorites. PoM didn't have to try hard with its villains, but they still did and I really appreciate that.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

A few thoughts about Crosshair's and Hunter's argument on Barton-IV in "The Return" -

- I completely sympathize with Hunter reaching his breaking point and demanding answers. Unlike us, Hunter had no idea what Crosshair had been through - the last he had personally seen of Crosshair before the prodigal brother unexpectedly turned up with Omega, his brother had been acting violent and unpredictable (to say the least), and had literally said that if the rest of the squad didn't join the Empire, he considered them his enemies.

- At the same time, Hunter had no idea what Crosshair had been through that led him to Tantiss, and he pushed before Crosshair was ready to talk... With the result that Crosshair, understandably, became angry and defensive and lashed out. (Come on, Hunter, what else did you expect?)

- When first watching the episode, as Crosshair began blaming Hunter for Omega's imprisonment, I was bracing myself for the inevitability of Crosshair blaming Hunter for Tech's death... And was so relieved but also very surprised that he didn't cross that line. Now, I am convinced that the reason Crosshair didn't hold Hunter responsible for Tech's death, was because Crosshair completely blamed himself for it.

- Given the above, I'm also wondering if that's why Crosshair was so quick to find a way to change the subject when Echo mentioned Tech, yet spent a meaningful moment honoring Mayday: painful though Mayday's loss had been, Crosshair had done all he could to save him. But he hadn't been there to help the squad and try to prevent Tech's death - indeed, he was the main reason (not the only reason, but the main reason) the squad had been on Eriadu in the first place. (You know one thing that would have made this interpretation of events even clearer? One small moment (a Mayday moment, if you will) of all Tech's brothers honoring him at the end of the show, where Crosshair and the others finally get some real closure over Tech's death. And no, I'm never letting this point go. Ever. Mini-rant over.)

[hunnysnoops]

˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗

Chapter Seven: You Are Going to Hate This

Kyle Broflovski x fem reader

Blackout and I need to sit and I wrote this, but it don't mean shit. Why can't I be like you? I miss you and I let you down and your voice is the perfect sound. Why can't I be so cool?

Premise: No one thought the school lock-in would go well, they just didn’t know poorly it would play out.

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury / mentions of disease / crude language and humour

MASTERLIST

There wasn't much you had been looking forward to about the school lock-in, the only thing that had slightly piqued your interest was competition. While various activities were being hosted in numerous classrooms, you were prepping yourself for the volleyball tournament in the gym.

A large sum of your friends were on the volleyball team and were also warming up. They had all paired up with each other and as you arrived at the school late, everyone already had a partner, leaving you with Andrew who was talking himself up but didn't have the skills to match.

"What's straight edge?" Annie asks from next to you where she spikes the ball across the net to Nichole, her eyebrows furrowing as she reads your shirt "You're not straight."

"No, it's like a punk movement from the eighties that was against drinking and smoking," You toss the ball high into the air and send it over the net with a satisfying smack. Andrew fumbles the return, the ball bouncing off his forearms and rolling away. He jogs after it, muttering an apology.

"So why are you wearing that?" She's even more confused at the answer. You were wearing a black loose T-shirt made of soft, high-quality cotton. The front of the shirt prominently features a bold white 'X' across the chest, above the 'X' where the words 'STRAIGHT EDGE' in bold lettering. The design includes a small graphic of a broken cigarette and an overturned bottle beneath the text. The back of the T-shirt has a minimalist design with the phrase 'LIVE CLEAN'. Anyone who knew you well had been casting you questioning glances.

"It's a thing for my dad's work, he asked if I could wear it and I said yeah," Your dad worked at a non-profit youth center and that week they were promoting drug abstinence. Weston was also given a t-shirt though he threw it at the back of his closet where it would never see the light again.

"But you aren't actually quitting smoking?"

"No, he was just so excited about it and I felt really bad because no one wanted to wear these goofy ass shirts." You serve the ball again, but Andrew misses the return once more, the ball sailing past him and thudding against the gym floor. A small knot of frustration begins to form in your chest.

"Oh my god, you're learning empathy," Annie turns her gaze back to Nichole, when the ball is headed for her, she braces her arms and bumps it perfectly back over the net.

Everyone else participating in the tournament seemed to have no issues with their partners while they practiced rallies. You take a deep breath and serve again, but this time the ball barely grazes his fingertips before hitting the ground. "Do something, bitch!" You throw your hands out, glaring at Andrew.

"Okay, never mind," Annie sucks a breath through her teeth, taking back the words she said just moments prior. She had been wearing her pink pyjama shorts with little daisies on them and a white tank top, curly hair pinned back into a French braid. Almost all of the students had arrived in their pyjamas which was the majority of some form of flannel pants and a t-shirt.

Despite your efforts to stay calm, Andrew's repeated fumbles and missed returns chip away at your composure. Each errant ball hits the gym floor with a dull thud, amplifying your growing irritation. "Andrew, get your balls in order."

"Jesus, it's not that easy," He tosses the ball up, smacking it in a feeble attempt. His hand lands on the top and sends the ball flying below the net.

"You're supposed to hit it over," You walk over to pick up the ball. Earlier when you had been looking for a partner Andrew couldn't stop talking about how good he was at volleyball but now that you were seeing him in action, you wanted to wrap your hands around his throat or maybe spike his head over the net instead of the ball.

The bandage over your nose was finally gone and the bruising was almost gone completely, all that was left was a little nick on your nose. Without the painkillers making you lethargic, you were back to being hostile.

He rolls the ball back over to you after missing another perfect serve. You move slowly to make sure he's ready for the next pass. You take a deep breath, focusing your energy on the perfect serve. You toss the ball high, your eyes following its arc. As it descends, you leap slightly, making contact with a resounding thud. The ball grazes over the net in a graceful, powerful trajectory, spinning slightly as it cuts through the air.

It's the kind of serve that you know is perfect the moment you hit it.

Instead of moving to meet the ball, Andrew freezes. His eyes widen in a moment of panic, his feet glued to the spot. The ball hurtles past him, as he shrugs away from it. You watch as the ball lands just past him with a thump. "I want a new partner, Andrew fucking sucks."

"Well, you aren't giving me much to work with here," He shoots back.

Slowly, your head turns to look at him "The only thing I would give you is a handful of antidepressants so no one else has to put up with your bitching," You say, pointedly "Get out of here."

"Eat shit and die," He stuck up his middle finger.

"Eat shit and live, Andrew," you returned the gesture, dropping the volleyball and hurryingly scattering to the whiteboard that held every pair's names. With your forearm, you wipe Andrew's name off and think of another replacement to fill the blank space. You glance around the gym seeing Stan on the bleachers and immediately mark down a name with the pink pen.

He was locked in on watching his girlfriend, he sat with Jimmy, the two chatting amongst themselves until you strolled up at record pace "Hi?"

"Hey," you smile, hands on your hips.

"W-what's with the sh-shi shirt?" Jimmy was the fifth person to question the straight-edge shirt laid over your torso.

"Where's Kyle?" You ask abruptly, ignoring the question.

"I'm pretty sure he's in Mr Dubois's classroom," Stan had been wearing thick grey sweatpants and a hoodie layered over a long sleeve despite the warm weather. You could only imagine he was suffocating under there "Why?"

"Thanks," You look towards the large digital clock mounted above the entrance of the gym, ten minutes until the tournament starts.

You sprint out of the gym, your footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway. The fluorescent lights overhead buzz softly as you race past the rows of lockers and closed classroom doors. You dart around a corner, narrowly avoiding a collision with a group of students heading toward the gym.

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you dig around for his number while rushing through the hallway.

New Message-Kyle Broflovski

You: Mf where r u??????????????

You: This is super urgent

You: Right hand to god

You: I'm gonna keel haul you

You read each number carved into the plaques on the doors, searching for room 116 where Mr Dubois taught French. In almost every room there was a different group of kids doing different activities, you pass the drama room where people are huddled up in the dark and watching movies.

The art room had of course been doing pottery and miscellaneous forms of art where everyone had their headphones stuck in their ears and didn't utter a word to anyone else in the room. There were always the kids bumming around in stairwells and corners, scrolling on their phones or hitting their vapes. There was an absurd lack of chaperones.

Finally, you reached classroom 116 where the door was decorated in prints of the French and Canadian flags as Mr. Dubois hailed from Quebec and would never let you hear the end of it if you asked.

Prying the door open, you were slightly taken aback by the sight. You had anticipated it would be a couple of guys sitting around and doing nothing in particular but you were met with the sight of six desks pushed together in the center of the class to form one table and eight guys pulled around it in chairs. They all had a plethora of sheets and colourful dice lying between them.

No one noticed you come in, they were deep in a game of Dungeons and Dragons and chatting amongst themselves. Butters noticed eyes on the back of his head and turned to face you, a smile on his face "Hey," He was one of the few people who turned up in a matching pyjama set, it was light blue and satin almost matching the stark paleness of his eyes "We already started but you can join if you want."

"No, she can't," Cartman countered immediately, he was taking the role of dungeon master. He turns his attention from Butters to you "You can't play."

"I don't wanna play your gay-ass game," You wrinkle your nose "Where's Kyle? Stan said he was in here."

Glancing around at the guys sitting down at the makeshift table, there wasn't even a lock of ginger hair in sight. "Oh, he went to the bathroom," Butters said "So you're not playing?"

"No, I'm not," You say, turning and leaving the door ajar behind you while you continue your way down the hallway once again.

For a beat you stand outside of the boy's bathroom and debate whether or not to enter, glancing around to make sure no one can see you. You rush into the bathroom, slipping through the door and immediately hearing the faint sound of music. You follow the noise, rounding the corner to find Kyle standing in front of the mirror, phone in hand, filming himself lipsyncing.

The very second you laid eyes on the scene before you, you erupted in laughter like a hyena. Eyes wide and mouth agape, Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she gasped for breath between fits of laughter. "What are you doing in here?" Kyle quickly turned his phone off, tucking it into his pocket while heat rose to his face.

"Are you making a thirst-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before breaking into giggles again. Still laughing uncontrollably, you stumbled backward, your legs giving way beneath you. You reached out instinctively, hand grasping the edge of the bathroom counter to steady yourself. Your body shook with laughter, and you leaned heavily against the counter, your face flushed and eyes sparkling with mirth.

"It's not that funny," Kyle said with a straight face.

Your hand moved to clutch your stomach where your ribs were beginning to hurt from laughing so hard, a single tear spilled from your eye. "Can I watch?" You say between chuckles.

"Fuck off," he muttered under his breath and moved to push past you.

You quickly straighten up, rushing to block the door "Woah, woah, woah."

"What do you want?"

"Let's just talk for a second," Slowly you put your hands out in front of you as carefully as a bullfighter would.

"You're in the boy's bathroom," He points out.

"What? Would you rather talk in the girls?" You retort and the annoyance is clear across his face as he reaches past you for the handle but you put your hands on his chest in an attempt to keep him away from it "Okay, sorry. My volleyball partner bailed last minute," You lied, trying to make yourself sound as convincing as possible "And the tournament starts in like, five minutes. Can you fill in?"

"No," His body language was slightly tense, his shoulders hunching forward as if trying to shrink away.

"What?" You sound genuinely shocked "Why?"

"Why would I want to play volleyball for two hours?"

"Because it's with me," You try for a sweet smile but it comes off insincere. You could tell Kyle wasn't buying it as his face remained unmoved and unimpressed "Okay, well, why would you want to play DnD for like eight hours?"

"Oh my god," He turns away from you, running one hand through curly locks while he does a small pace before stopping to face you once more. Kyle hadn't anticipated making a fool of himself in front of you "No."

"Please?" You clasp your hands together like it's going to do something.

"You're friends with everyone on the volleyball team, ask one of them."

"I did and they have partners and I already put your name down to play," you suck a sharp breath through your teeth.

"Just find someone else," He dismisses and you were suddenly wishing you had knocked and avoided embarrassing him entirely. Not only was he naturally athletic but part of you just wanted to be partners with him.

"I'm actually really sorry for laughing at you, I'm learning empathy."

"You don't learn empathy, it's something you're born with."

"I'm defying the norms," You say "I swear to god I will never laugh at you again. You're right, it wasn't even that funny just a little, not a lot."

"Christ," He mutters, one hand pinching his nose bridge.

"You're the only person I trust to actually give it a shot. Please, Kyle?"

Kyle presses his lips into a thin line, rubbing the back of his neck. You can see the gears turning in his head. All he does for a minute is look at you with narrowing eyes before he finally speaks again "Okay, sure."

"Thanks," You smile brightly, opening the bathroom door and ushering Kyle out.

"When does it start?"

"Like three minutes," You shrug.

The two of you pass the door of Mr. Dubois's classroom where Cartman glares at you and Kyle "Kyle, get back here." Cartman pushes himself from his chair "We're in the middle of a campaign!"

"I don't fucking care!" You call back. When you notice Kyle pauses for the briefest moment to look into the room, you grab his wrist and pull him along. He seems a little taken aback but doesn't argue as you drag him through the hall even though he's perfectly capable of finding the gym without contact with you.

"Oh my god," Cartman utters, sitting himself back in his chair, a look of disbelief on his face. "First we lost Stan, now Kyle."

"And Kenny," Butters adds.

"And Kinny," Cartman repeats in solidarity.

"Are you straight edge now?" Kyle furrows his eyebrows as he reads the back of your t-shirt.

"No. God, why does everyone keep asking that?"

"Maybe because you're wearing a straight-edge shirt." He states the obvious.

"Oh shit, yeah," you turn back to briefly to face Kyle and crack a small smile.

You step onto the polished gym floor, the bright lights overhead casting a warm glow that reflects off the glossy surface. The chatter and laughter of other students echoed through the room.

The second you were noticed you were met with odd glances like you were dragging a corpse behind you. Everyone was already beginning to take their places for the tournament or finding a spot on the bleachers "Shit, hurry up, Goliath."

"Goliath?" He narrows his eyes at you as you begin to walk away.

"Dude, just get over here,"

Stan quirks an eyebrow, watching the two of you settle in the center of a court while Coach Dawsey barks out the rules of the tournament. "Alright, everyone, listen up!" Coach Dawsey's voice booms across the gym through the crackly microphone, immediately silencing the chatter. "Before we get started, I want to make sure everyone understands the rules for tonight's lock-in volleyball tournament."

You glance over at Kyle, who's focused on trying to decode whatever Stan is mouthing to him, his eyebrows are drawn in. You nudge him lightly, and he straightens up, shaking his head at Stan and turning his attention to the coach.

"First and foremost," Coach continues, "This is a friendly competition. Sportsmanship is key. No trash-talking or unsportsmanlike conduct will be tolerated unless I can't hear it. Understood?"

A chorus of "Yes, Coach" echoes around the gym.

"Good. Each match will be played to ten points, win by two. We're using rally scoring, so a point is scored on every serve. You all know your positions, but remember to rotate clockwise after winning the serve."

Kyle nudges you back, whispering, "You got all that?"

You shoot him a look but can't suppress a small smile. Coach Thompson's eyes narrow in on the two of you, and you quickly return your attention to him.

"Communication is crucial," Coach emphasizes. "Call for the ball, and make sure you cover your zones. Stay alert and work as a team."

You nod, glancing around at your teammates. Their faces reflect a mixture of determination and nerves, but there's also a spark of excitement. You catch Kyle's eye again, and this time he gives you a serious nod, signalling that he's ready to contribute.

"Lastly," Coach Dawsey says, "Remember to have fun. This is about building teamwork and enjoying the game as well as winning, which is of the utmost importance. So erm, do your best out there."

With that, Coach blows the whistle, signalling the start of the tournament. Each of the four courts is split in two with two teams in each of the half courts. From the other side of the net Heather and Jenny stand, Jenny regards you with narrowed eyes "Isn't Andrew your partner?"

"What the fuck, no," You huff a laugh like the accusation was ridiculous. Jenny looks at the bracket scrawled across the whiteboard for confirmation.

The referee signals the start of the match, and the first serve comes sailing over the net from the opposing team. You spring into action, bumping the ball up to Kyle, who's already moving into position.

"Kyle, yours!" you shout, setting the ball perfectly.

Kyle leaps into the air, his form impeccable, and smashes the ball over the net. It hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team. In truth, you hadn't expected him to be so good, the last time you played volleyball with him, you were on a family camping trip and in a continuous loop of trying to beat each other. You can't help but grin.

"Nice spike," you say as Kyle jogs back.

"Thanks, Captain," he replies, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

The game quickly turns intense. Heather and Jenny are good, but you and Kyle find a rhythm, communicating effectively and covering the court with dexterity. Kyle's spikes are powerful and precise, while your sets and saves keep the ball in play.

"Cover left!" you call as the ball comes over the net.

Kyle dives, saving it just before it hits the ground, and you quickly set it up for another attack. The back-and-forth rallies are exhilarating, each point hard-earned. Despite the competitive edge, there's a surprising synergy between you and Kyle.

As the score nears the winning point, tension mounts. It's 14-13, and you need one more point to secure the win. The opposing team serves, and the ball comes at you fast. You manage a perfect pass to Kyle.

"Yours!" you shout, adrenaline pumping.

Kyle takes to the air, his spike aimed with an almost lethal precision. The ball slams down on the opponent's side, untouched. The final point is yours. A few of your friends on the bleachers give you little cheers as the whistle blows, signalling the end of the match.

You turn to Kyle, breathless but elated. "Good shit, man."

"Thanks," He grins.

With the thrill of your first win still buzzing, you and Kyle barely have time to catch your breath before the second match is called. The gym seems even more charged now, the energy from the first game amplifying the anticipation for what's to come.

Coach Dawsey gives you both a thumbs-up from the sidelines as you step onto the court for your next match. This time, you were against Jason and Daniel. You knew Daniel was on the volleyball team, you had seen him a handful of times and he was good but you couldn't speak for Jason who seemed much more out of place than his friend. You glance at Kyle, who glances back at you.

"You good?" you ask, a competitive gleam in your eye.

Kyle gives you a little thumbs up, one hand resting on his hip. The two of you watch as your names are moved up the brackets on the whiteboard while Heather and Jenny's get erased.

The referee blows the whistle, and the game begins. The first serve from the opposing team rockets over the net. You move quickly, receiving the ball and passing it to Kyle. He leaps and spikes it down hard, but the other team manages a quick save, returning the ball with a strong hit.

"Got it!" you call, diving to keep the ball in play. You manage to pass it back to Kyle, who sets up for another spike. This time, the ball hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team.

The match is fast-paced, the ball flying back and forth as both teams fight for dominance. You dig, set, and spike with precision, each point driving you a little more.

At one point, the score is tied at 8-8, and the tension is palpable. The opposing team serves, and you receive the ball, setting it perfectly for Kyle. He slams it over the net, but the other team is ready, sending it back with equal force.

You dive to save it, barely managing to keep it in play. "Kyle, heads up!" you shout, scrambling to your feet.

Kyle jumps, twisting in mid-air to adjust his spike. The ball flies over the net, too quickly for the opponents to react. It hits the floor. This was the part of Kyle that you admired, the competitive nature and the drive, on occasion the hot-headed insults even though you spat them right back at him.

As the match progresses, you both dig deep, pushing through the fatigue. The score inches up, point by point, each one harder to earn than the last. Daniel is relentless, but so are you and Kyle.

Finally, it's match point. The score is 14-13, and you have the serve. You take a deep breath, focusing on the target. The ball leaves your hand, sailing over the net. The opponents scramble to return it, but Kyle is already in position.

He jumps high, timing his spike perfectly. The ball slams into the floor on the other side of the net, and for a moment, there's stunned silence. You turn to Kyle, a huge grin on your face, almost vibrating with excitement.

For a brief moment, he catches himself smiling at you, the thought that an act as simple as hitting a ball over a net would make you so happy when he had seen you surrounded by everyone you've ever known with a cake in front of you and still frown.

"Got a couple more rounds in you?" You ask.

"What did you just say?"

When the match ended you had settled back into your separate groups on the bleachers and pretended that you weren't sneaking glances at his little group while you were looking at Wendy. What had really been grating you was that the doors of the school had been locked as per the name of the event, this meant that there wasn't anywhere to smoke without getting caught and you were increasingly growing desperate for that nicotine buzz, so much so that you had chewed you lip until the taste of iron flooded your mouth.

"You don't like Miles anymore?" Nichole looks towards Lola with furrowed eyebrows. Last week she wouldn't stop talking about him.

"What?" This was news to Annie "Why?"

Lola shrugs "Because he's weird, he's an asshole."

"What did he do?" Heidi asked. Everyone paid their full attention to Lola who seemed to squirm a little more with every pair of eyes on her.

"Nothing, he's just, I dunno- he's a dick."

You and Red share a look, this was code for Lola liked him a lot and he didn't return the feelings.

"Where did Wendy go?" You ask abruptly, noticing the disappearance of the girl and glancing around the gym for her.

Nellie sucks a sharp breath through her teeth, quickly looking to Lola for unspoken confirmation if she should say or not "She's with Bebe and Jenny."

"Oh, okay," You say and silence falls over the group, waiting for a bigger reaction. "I don't really care."

"It's okay," Annie nods and places a hand on your shoulder.

"Yeah, I know?"

"Yeah," Lola draws out slowly.

"Um," You brush Annie's gentle hand off and push yourself to your feet "I need to ask Kenny something, I'll be right back."

Feeling more awkward than you should've, you walked over to the group of boys enamoured in what was seemingly a deep discussion until you heard a snippet of the conversation "You're saying that if you could only eat one animal for the rest of your life it would be fish?" Kenny asks with quirked eyebrows and a slightly wrinkled nose.

"Yeah," Kyle says with a knit brow, not understanding why the boys seemed so disapproving.

"Dude, he said animal not sea creature," Cartman says bluntly.

"A fish is an animal."

"Don't start," Cartman's voice is accusatory, you can see him getting riled up already.

"I'm not starting, a fish is an animal," Kyle retorts.

"I'm talking animal-animal."

"And I'm saying fish-fish."

"That's like saying ant, that's not an animal." His face is flushed a stark contrast to the pale, blindingly bright lights overhead.

"Ants are animals, they're arthropods," Kyle's voice raises just the slightest.

Cartman huffs laugh "No they are not, fish and ants are not animals that's like saying bugs and insects are animals."

"Cartman, you are in AP biology," Tolkien throws in as a reminder.

"Yeah, that's how I know what I'm talking about."

"We are in the same class," Kyle says slowly to be sure that it sinks in.

"At least one of us was paying attention."

"A fish is an animal."

"Yeah alright buddy, you don't go to the zoo and see fish hanging around. There aren't zoo fishes."

"There's actually so many fish at zoos-

"There's fish zoos?" Cydle abruptly cuts him off, voice raising "You go to fish zoos?"

Kyle regains himself "There's so many fish at zoos that they have their own attraction called an aquarium."

Cartman shakes his head "Nope, not the same thing, that's for sharks and shit."

"Yeah, for fish."

"A shark is not a fish," Cartman starts laughing. "And an animal is something with paws and shit."

"Is a lizard an animal?"

"No, it's an insect."

"Jesus Christ," You mutter "Cartman, what's a reptile?"

"What's a human?" Cylde asks "Are we animals?

"They are literally classified as Cartilaginous fishes," Kyle ignore Cylde, his jaw is clenched tight and it's easy to tell that such an idiotic argument is grinding at his skull.

"Define fish," Cartman leans back and crosses his arms, waiting for the answer.

"You did not just say that," Kyle deadpans.

"Define fish," He says again.

"You define fish," Kyle almost spits with how fast he's speaking.

"Aquatic."

"Aquatic what?!”

"Aquatic creatures."

"So by your definition, fish are aquatic creatures but a shark isn't a fish?" Kyle asks. The vein in his forehead became so prominent you thought it might burst.

"Please tell me how a shark is a fish," Cartman tilts himself forward, closer to Kyle "Tell me what a fish is."

"They're aquatic vertebrate animals that have gills but lack limbs."

"So I was right."

"No, you aren't, lobsters are aquatic creatures, do you think they're fish?" Kyle asks and Cartman falls silent "Cartman, lobsters are not fish."

"Then what are they?"

"They're a sub-group called decapoda in the malacostracans class but they also classify as phylum Arthropoda."

"I thought they were Crustacea?" Stan chimes in for the first time since you came over.

"They are," Kyle glances back at him then to you then back to Cartman.

"So then how are they all that other stuff you just said?" Cartman asks this like he's finally got Kyle in a corner.

"Because animals are classified under taxonomic categories."

"What is that?"

"Oh my fucking god," Kyle runs his hands down his face.

"Hey, Ken," You put one hand on his bicep and leaned in to whisper into his ear "Do you have any Zyn?"

He turns to face you, looking down at your choice of clothing "There is no way you're in a straight-edge shirt and you're asking me for Zyn."

"Do you though?" With a sly smile, you straightened your posture.

He ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair, cut into a mullet "Pretty sure I left it in my car,"

"Fuck," Your face drops immediately, unintentionally forming into something of a pout for the first time in what must've been years.

"If you come with me we can grab it."

"Erm, I'm pretty sure all of the doors are bolted closed." You raise a brow, hand still absentmindedly resting on his arm.

"Don't worry about it," He waves you off. "But what do I get in return?"

"How about my undying gratitude?" You offered, your tone laced with mock seriousness.

"Oh, word?" He cracks a grin "I'll be back in a minute," Kenny addresses the group.

"Cool," Stan doesn't even look up at him but Kyle's eyes are trained on the way your fingers trail Kenny's arm, the touch light but lingering as you begin to walk away.

Kenny's beaten-up sneakers squeaked as the two of you crossed the polished hardwood floors of the gym and made your way into the somehow even brighter hallway "So what are your plans for the summer?"

"Mostly working I guess, I haven't made any plans so I guess I'll just figure it out as I go." You really hadn't thought about it. You knew that your parents planned a trip to Mexico to which you and Weston were not invited so the only thing that had come close to a plan in your mind was the thought crossing that you would take Weston on a camping trip while your parents were away.

"Same over here," He shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie "You still working at that restaurant?"

"Yeah, you still working at that gas station?" It had been a hot minute since the last time you had really talked to Kenny and with that simple question, you were beginning to feel guilt pile onto your shoulders.

"Yup, been thinking about picking up a second job for the summer, got nothing better to do."

"Oh, you should apply at my work, I know we're hiring prep and dishwashers," You peeped up. It would make your summer just a little better if you got to work with Kenny. Even if you weren't anywhere near to how close you used to be, it might make those tiring serving shifts covered in steak sauce, garlic butter, and tears just a little better.

"For real? Maybe I will."

You had always thought Kenny was handsome in a scrappy way like a stray dog, it was his disjointed manner that made him so endearing. "So how are we leaving the school?"

He tilted his head, gesturing for you to turn down the hallways with him "There's an emergency entrance in the woodshop but you need to stay by the door and keep it open because it'll lock me out."

"Sweet," You smile up at him, the thought of a nicotine pouch resting on your gums brought you a little bit closer to satisfaction. "We should hang out soon, it's been a while."

"Jeez, I guess it has, a month is kinda long for us or has it been longer."

"I dunno, I lost track," You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the last time you had been with him one-on-one.

He acknowledges this with a hum "There's something I had to grab from my car at some point tonight anyways so this kinda works out."

"What is it?"

"You'll see," He shrugs.

"Kenny, what is it?" Your stomach drops a little bit. Whenever he was cryptic like this you knew there was something in the works within his brain.

"Don't worry," Kenny brushes you off, seemingly unbothered as he usually was.

"Dude, I'm worried."

"Okay, well I think the Zyn will help you with that," He jiggles the handle to the wood shop and holds it open for you.

Immediately you're greeted with the smell of woodchips and little particles of sawdust finding their way into your eyes, you clamp them shut and squeeze until the burning goes away. There isn't a single person inside, you didn't really expect the dusty woodshop to be a popular place to hang out during a lock-in.

"Don't make this a regular thing, I don't wanna see you abusing nicotine."

"I love nicotine, I would never abuse it," You reach for the phone in your pocket to turn on the flash. You wanted to be as discreet as possible, Kenny quietly shut the door behind the both of you.

The woodshop was eery in the darkness, it felt like you were in a horror movie where something would crawl out from beneath the table saw and maul you into a bloody mass of flesh pulsing on the floor.

"This shit is creepy," Kenny muttered, voicing your thoughts.

"I fucking know," You answer, "You think this is where Jigsaw makes his death traps?"

"Oh, definitely."

Kenny had a hand on your back to guide you to the exit door after you had almost knocked over a shelf of students' unfinished projects. Finally, you saw the exit sign hanging above a grey door, illuminated by your flash.

"Okay, just hold the door open but if anyone comes in, shut it and text me when they leave," Kenny yanks it open and the cold air hits you, forcing a shiver out of you.

"Just be quick, please," You take a spot standing in front of the heavy door while you watch Kenny jog away and disappear into the darkness. Kenny's car was what was referred to as a shit box. Every moment you spent in it you just kept thinking 'Okay, now it's going to give out' but it proved you wrong by pushing through with every rusted turn of the wheels.

His car was at the front of the school while you were stationed beside it, arms hugging yourself as the straight-edge t-shirt wasn't helping much to protect you from the cool night that hung on the other side of the doorframe.

Every passing second that Kenny was out of sight you grew just a little more concerned, constantly glancing back at the door of the woodshop. All of the blades and intricate machines seemed menacing when the only light that gleamed off the razor-sharp edges came from your phone.

"Keep the door open!" You hear Kenny's voice off in the distance.

You squint at the dark silhouette that is coming towards you full throttle with something being carried in front of him "Ken, what is that?" As his figure gets closer you can see the item he's holding is moving and squirming in his grip "What the fuck is that?"

The second Kenny steps foot inside you back away from him and let the door lock. He has a huge smile on his face while holding a raccoon underneath its armpits, his bottom half swaying slightly with every movement.

"That was the thing you had in your car?!" You can't help but shout, face contorted in horror at how easy-going Kenny was about holding a wild animal.

He grins mischievously. "Thought it'd be funny to let this little guy have a stroll, he's chill, he'll probably just walk around. Just a harmless prank."

Before you can protest, he loses his grip, and the raccoon drops to the ground with a thud. For a split second, it looks stunned. Then it bares its teeth, hissing angrily. Panic sets in as the raccoon charges toward you both.

"Fuck!" You shot away, weaving through the rows of workbenches and tools, careless not to knock anything over. You kept looking back at the feral animal charging you, bumping down projects and bottles of wood-blinding glue.

It was moments like these when you were glad that you ran track, not that you had ever been pursued by a feral animal before. You had started track initially to be sure you could run in a zombie apocalypse scenario and this was similar enough.

You throw the door to the woodshop open, Kenny follows behind you, regret obvious on his face. The hallways echo with the sound of your footsteps and the angry chittering of the raccoon. You glance back to see it gaining on you, its eyes glinting in the dim light.

Kenny splits down another hallway while you keep running straight, the raccoon chooses to follow you. There isn't anyone in the halls, all you can hear is the chatter within the classrooms. While you were sure you could fight a raccoon, you didn't want to risk the chance that it could bite you and you would forever be the girl who got rabies from a raccoon.

Kyle casually walks down the hallway in your direction, waving when he spots you "Why are you running?"

"Fucking run!" You shout gesturing for him to move in the other direction. He doesn't fight you on this, instead running next to you, trying to decode why you were frantically shifting your gaze all over the place.

"What's going on?" He asks, confusion clear across his face.

You ignore him, eyes catching on a classroom door which is slightly ajar, you snatch his hand and make a B-line for the class, yanking him in after you and shutting the door. You run your hands down your face, chest rising and falling with every shaky breath.

"Is there a shooter?"

"No," you say "It's a raccoon."

Any worry on his face drops immediately "Be serious for a minute."

"I'm so serious Kyle and that thing is insane, it's out for blood."

"Did it bite you or something?"

You yank out a chair from beneath a desk and plop yourself down in it "No and thank god." A scream sounds from somewhere down the hallway and Kyle's eyes widen "We gotta let them fend for themselves, don't be a hero."

"I wasn't planning on breaking any doors down and fighting a raccoon," He retorts "How did it even get inside?"

"Pfft, I wouldn't know man," You shake your head, making forceful eye contact.

"You let it in?"

"Kenny did."

"Mother fucker," he mutters. "That asshole."

"It's really not that big of a deal," You cross your arms and lean back in the chair, quick to defend Kenny even though you weren't thrilled about a wild animal set loose in the school you would pretend to be for his sake.

Kyle turns to face, jaw clenching tightly and you already regret your words "It's not that big of a deal?"

"Yeah," You say, firmly "It's really not."

His voice steadies, the rise of anger ringing clear in his tone  "Do you have any idea how many people could be hurt because of this?"

"It's fucking funny, Kyle," You exasperate, standing up from the chair and taking a stride toward him.

"How is this funny?"

"It's a raccoon that terrorizes a school, how is that not funny?"

"What if it had rabies?" 

"Kyle, that's life. Sometimes a raccoon is gonna break into a school and attack teenagers," You try to sound nonchalant but there's agitation clinging to your words "Life ain't all cookies and cream, lil fella."

"Do not ever call me lil fella."

"Sorry, lil fella," You shrug.

"Don't act like you weren't shaking in fear two minutes ago."

"I was and two minutes later it's hilarious, I would be laughing my ass off right now if you weren't about to punch a wall."

"I'm not going to punch a wall," Kyle sneered. 

"Are you gonna make a TikTok about it then?" 

"Jesus fucking Christ," He uttered looking away from you. 

"Acting like you've never done stupid shit before," You spit, moving closer until you're inches away from him. You felt that familiar surge of anger catching fire in your lungs, one that was sure to never be smothered "Pulling the fire alarm, punching Stan, taping porno magazines on Mr. Garrison's car-

"Those were ages ago," He cuts you off "At least some of us actually grew up."

"It's a fucking raccoon!" You throw your hands up in the air "And you're seventeen, you should think this is funny because it is and one day you're going to be an old wrinkly boney fuck with rotten testicles and wish that you revelled in this a little more."

"You aren't listening," His voice raises. Every few moments, he runs a hand through his hair in a quick, jerky motion, adding to the sense of barely contained rage.

He was right, you weren't listening. Kyle was hastily spitting out words while you just stared at him like his words were muffled to your ears. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, muscles tensed with barely contained frustration. His brows are furrowed deeply, casting a shadow over his narrowed eyes that stay trained on your face. His jaw is clenched so tightly that a muscle twitches in his cheek, and his lips are pressed into a thin, hard line.

The sleeves of his hoodie are rolled up and you can see the veins and the muscles flexing. His face was almost flushed red with rage, for the first time you had noticed the light dusting of freckles spread over his nose. You remembered him having them as a kid, they came around in the summer when he would spend hours in the sports court and chasing his friends through the woods. His face was spotted like a fawn, though they dwindled with age they always got dark after he bathed in sunlight. 

"What?" He snaps, breaking your immersion "Are you going to say something?"

"Your freckles are coming in."

"What?" His eyebrows draw together even further. "What are you-

He is cut off by a sudden, sound of a heavy thump and metal hitting the linoleum and clattering in its place. You turn towards the sound and see that the vent covering has fallen off and something dark scuttles across the ground, catching only glimpses of it between rows and rows of desks. "Holy shit, it found me!" Without warning, the raccoon crashes against a desk with a ferocious growl, causing you to scream. Acting purely on instinct, you leap towards Kyle, wrapping your arms around him in a desperate bid for safety. His eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, his anger is replaced by shock as he catches you. "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck."

"What are you doing?" he exclaims, but his voice is less harsh than before, more surprised than angry though the irritation still hangs in his tone.

"I don't want to look at it," You squeeze your eyes shut and bury your face into Kyle's collarbone. "This is gonna be really funny in a week but I'm actually really fucking scared right now."

Kyle has one protective arm over your midriff as he leans forward the slightest to look at the raccoon that stands between the pair of you and the door. The raccoon hisses and bares its teeth at you, slobber foaming around its mouth "It has rabies," He says, backing away "It actually has rabies."

"Fuck!" You shout, breaking away from Kyle and trying to scramble onto a desk, so panicked your legs keep slipping until Kyle lifts you by your waist until your feet are flat on the surface and hops on a desk himself. "What the fuck do we do?"

The raccoon circled around the door, staggering like it had just drunk a forty. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, looking up what to do when you encounter an animal with rabies. "What are you doing?"

"Okay, um, Reddit says to shoot it dead, bag it, and burn it," you look over at Kyle.

"Do you have a gun in your pocket?" He says with an antsy sarcasm.

"No."

"Well, that's super helpful, thank you," His face flat and voice mocking. 

"Not the time to be an asshole," As the raccoon snarls and regains its footing, you fumble for your phone, your hands shaking. "I'm calling the police," you tell Kyle, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and adrenaline.

Kyle nods, his eyes never leaving the raccoon. "Fucking hurry."

With trembling fingers, you dial 911, praying for a quick response. The raccoon begins to inch closer, its eyes locked onto you. "911, what's your emergency?" comes the operator's voice.

"We're trapped in a classroom with a rabid raccoon at Park County High," you say, your voice cracking. "It's really fucking gross looking like it's covered in mud and it had matted fur and shit." You shudder as it nears you "And it's pretty fucking fat, it jiggles when it walks."

"Okay, ma'am, I need you to stay calm," the operator replies, her voice steady and professional. "Can you confirm your location one more time?"

"Park County High, room 112," You wrinkle your nose as it begins to sniff up the desk you standing on "Its hands are dirty as shit, probably from being greedy and eating too much."

The operator starts to ask for details, but the raccoon lunges forward, coming dangerously close. Panic surges through you. Without thinking, you scream and hurl your phone at the animal. The device smacks the raccoon on the head, causing it to stumble and momentarily back off. Upon impact, your phone shatter, the screen glitching with colour before going black completely. 

The raccoon stumbles for a second before hissing and lunging at your ankles again. You retract your feet, trying not to tip onto the ground. You can tell the raccoon is charging up to attempt another jump onto the desk, you leap down in a moment of panic and kick the desk into it. The desk drops to its side and squashes the raccoon which lets out a yelp before squirming it's way out.

You ran to the front of the class grabbing any stray books off of desks and chucking them at the raccoon. Snatching the metre stick from the spot where it rested against the whiteboard, you begin to swat at the raccoon "I actually will not survive if I get rabies," Your voice shakes with every word.

"Yeah, no shit!" Kyle retorts, his hands flying arounf frantically and his mind paniced to do something. 

The metre stick only seems to make the raccoon more angry  "This feels like animal abuse!"

"It is!"

"Should I stop?"

"Do you want rabies?"

"No."

"Then no!" Kyle climbs down from his desk and frantically looks around for something to throw at the raccoon, he grabs a thick textbook from the teacher's desk and throws it down at the rabid creature. It squeaks, staggers, and snaps its jaws, ignoring Kyle and staying focused on you.

"Kyle, open the door!" You shout, prodding at the raccoon in a feeble attempt to keep it away from your flesh. 

He jiggles the handle to no avail, it doesn't budge. There's nothing but a familiar snigger on the only side of the door. "Cartman, open the door!" 

"If you pay me twenty bucks right now." His irritating voice answers. 

"What? I don't have money on me." He lifted the little shade that covered the glass panel on the door and of course, there was the back of Cartman's head.

"You're Jewish, that's impossible."

"I'll fucking Paypal you the money just open the door," Kyle's voice rises with every word. 

"Jewrat, I know you have your little gold pouch on you."

"Did you put the fucking raccoon in the vent?" 

"That depends," His voice is as smug as ever.

"I'm gonna kick your teeth in!" He slams his body against the door but Cartman is without question the heavier one leaning on the other side.  "Open the door!" 

"Is it ethical to kill it?" You crawl on top of the teacher's desk, kicking random items down every time the raccoon attempts to jump. It hits the creature's head with a little thud though it's only stunned for a moment before it goes back to attacking like it shot up some kind of drug.

“That doesn’t really matter,” Kyle does a run against the door, it looks like it's going to cave inward.

You had run out of supplies to knock on the raccoon's head, it grabbed hold of your shoe, getting more agitated with every attempt to shake it off. "Fuck, fuck, shitballs, fucking cunt licker!"

In mere seconds Kyle grabs a chair by its legs and bashes down onto the raccoon which claws into your shoes in an attempt to stay on you but the force of the chair brought it barrelling to the ground. It twitches under the chair, ragged breathes and squeals. "Did it bite you?" 

You shake your head, a hand slapped over your mouth as you look down at the animal writing below. "Where the fuck are the police?" You scream. Kyle helps you down from the desk and you immediately spring towards the door, banging on it with all of your force "Eric, open the door or I'm gonna throw rocks through your window, you dumb whore!" 

"Tell the jew to slide a bill under the floor," He says nonchalantly. Through the glass panel on the door, you can hardly see the rest of the hallway past Cartman's head which appears to be vacant. You turn back to Kyle who throws his hands up in exasperation then look to where the raccoon begins to stir on the floor and find its footing. 

"I'm going to ask one more time, open the fucking door," You try to keep your voice as still as possible despite shaking with rage and biting the inside of your mouth so hard that blood mixes with your saliva.

"I'm going to ask one more time, tell Kyle to-

You ball your hand into a fist and rear your elbow out, connecting your knuckles to the glass panel that was once separating the two of you from Cartman. It shatters on impact, sending a spiderweb of cracks radiating outwards. The sound of breaking glass fills the room, echoing off the walls. You reach your other arm through broken glass and wrap your hands around Cartman's pudgy neck.

The panic is evident, his hand moving quickly to try and pry your hands away from him. You refuse to let go, holding him against the door despite his choking sputters and the urgent tapping over your hands. 

"Open the fucking door!" You shout again, wringing Cartman's neck like a soaked towel, ignoring the little shards of glass stuck in your hands and the jagged edges of the frame cutting up your forearm. You were a lot less scared of Cartman than you were of the raccoon carrying a deadly illness.

He coughs, each breath becoming shallower and more desperate than the last. His hand fumbles for the door handle and the second you see the light from the hallway spill through a crack, you let go of Cartman and slam your body on the door which finally lets out.

You stumble through the door and into the hallway, watching your shaking hand engrained with little shards of class. Cartman's breathing heavily against a wall, his face the brightest shade of red you had ever seen on a human.

Kyle walks through, eyes wide and brows furrowed at the sight before him.  He looks at you, shutting the door behind him "Is it funny now?"

"Kinda actually, yeah."