#also don't know why this memory sticks out to me but it does

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[hellenhighwater]

What's your decision making process like for thrifting pieces? I've started looking at thrifting more earnestly, and at antiques in particular to add a bit more character to my otherwise midcentury-influenced space, but I always struggle with envisioning if a piece will "go" with everything else. But you seem like you've got the mixing and matching of pieces down pat, do I'd love to hear your thoughts!

I've gotten a bunch of asks in this vein so I'm going to go a little broader than this ask to cover the general topic.

On a purely practical level, you need to know what you have. I keep what I call a house journal, which is a notebook where I've drawn out room layouts, with measurements for available space, lists of what I'm looking for, dimensions for things like doorways (do not buy anything larger than your doorways) and even fabric and paint swatches. I also keep a digital photo album of house pictures, so if I'm trying to see if something will go, I don't have to rely entirely on memory.

So, important note: my background is not in interior design--it's in set design, studio art, and graphic design, so for me, I fall back on narrative. When you're designing interior spaces for theater or film, the room is not primarily functional: it is, first and foremost, an extension of the character that inhabits it. The room exists to tell you about the person in it.

And often, that's the tack I take in my house--not using my home as a framing device for myself, but for imagined characters. For example, my living room is The Adventurer, or the Archaeologist. The character for that room is someone from decent money in the late Victorian period, the sort of person who spent their live traveling for no particular reason, and brought home all manner of oddities. The room is rich in color and texture; the furniture is mostly late 1800s, and it's both formal and lived in. Choosing things for this room, I ask if that character would own that object. I also used unifying wood tones, and a similar depth of color, to tie things in. Pick a color palette and stick to it.

My drawing room is the Alchemist. There are lots of celestial elements, but it's a workroom, so most of the furniture is very practical and simply designed. It's beaten and worn in, showing marks of use. There is lots of storage, and curious little things in jars, and plants and bones and the tools of my trade. The Alchemist uses this space to make impossible things.

The question then is not "does this match" but "would the character that embodies this space choose this? Why? What does it say about them?"

And what all of that tells you about me, is, well....I don't know, really?

[koinotame]

your (househusband) roommate, ajax

word count: 1.5K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, childe gets called your house husband but you’re not actually married, generally gross stuff (he sniffs your used shirt), it's implied of childe scares away someone else

a/n: this is a repost (slightly edited)! i lost the original post w/ the basic idea but essentially this is a side au of sagau/self aware genshin where the characters (in this case childe) find their way into your world, but in the process you lose all memories about genshin. i'll be reposting all of the series, but it's also on ao3! part two is here!

when you first learned who your roommate would be, you were exasperated. you’d heard about him before, and you were well aware that he's amassed a reputation of being a trouble maker. you had no interest in getting into trouble, especially not during your first year.

...so you were pretty pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be a total sweetheart.

you’re reminded of that when you enter the kitchen, rubbing at your eyes and yawning. the smell of pancakes wafts through the air, and you can’t even get out a small 'good morning' before ajax is grinning at you and sliding you some pancakes. "don’t wait for me and eat up, okay? I put plenty of love into them, so they should taste great."

you ignore his banter (insisting on waiting for him is a lost battle, you’ve learned) and take a bite. you don’t finish chewing before you sleepily nod.

he laughs good-naturedly. "I’m glad, I’m glad. do you want more?" another drowsy nod has him piling most of the remaining pancakes onto your plate.

he continues chatting with you while you eat and he finishes the batch, though he does most of the talking. as usual, he doesn’t seem to mind your silence too much. once he’s done, he turns the fire off and props his elbow on the counter to stare at you. you don't pay him any mind.

he slides the platter to you the second you peek at it. after having eaten well over two servings you’re not really interested in more though, so you shake your head. "I'm full. aren’t you going to eat any?"

he beams. "aww, were you thinking about me? don’t worry, I already ate." you’re almost certain he didn’t. avoiding the judgemental look that crosses your eyes at his response, he laughs in a way that’d be awkward if it was anyone else. "I’ll put the rest in a tupper then, okay? have them whenever."

he’s taking your plate and putting it in the sink before you can even stand to move it to the dishwasher. you sigh and stick out your tongue at him when he turns to you. "you know you really don’t have to go out of your way do all of this."

he smiles at you. "why not? I enjoy cooking, and you can be my taste-tester." the amounts he feeds you go well beyond that, and he's avoiding the rest of your question, but okay. you should've gotten the message—that it's futile to ask him this kind of question—by now.

while you you face plant into the couch to avoid thinking about anything else, ajax stays in the kitchen, cleaning up and humming some lullaby as he washes the pan and plates. it’s too early to think on this saturday morning. the cushion feels nice and soft against your cheek and you can’t help but burrow yourself further into the pillows.

wait.

you lift your head up, peeking your head out behind the back of the couch.

"the apron is cute."

he nearly drops the pan.

it’s not often that you bring over friends, so ajax insists on cleaning beforehand and serving your group snacks much like a mother hen would throughout their stay.

their two, maybe three if you're pushing it, hour stay. all you’re going to is chat, it’s not like they’re going to be staying overnight or anything.

you sigh but let him do what he wants.

some cookies are laid out by the time they arrive, and he’s hovering around pretty much indefinitely to serve tea or juice.

it’s cute, in a way, but your friends’ teasing is not.

"you know, he’s kind of like your house husband, isn’t he?" your friend comments, leaning over and biting into a powdery cookie.

you try to ignore the way ajax beams. you try to ignore the way he cheers to himself even harder.

"not really..." your weak attempts at rebutting their words make your friends laugh.

the rest of the session goes by normally; you talk about the kinds of things you’d regularly talk about with friends. someone in your group recently received a promotion, and somebody else got fired. somebody gained a boyfriend, another realised she didn’t have the time or energy for relationships not too long ago.

the longer the conversation goes on, the more the chatter becomes background noise as the you retreat to your own world. the drink in your hands gets lukewarm long before you finish it despite your frequent sipping.

when they finally leave, you feel more relieved than you should.

you see them off with a smile, but your head is pounding by the time you sit back down and your ears can finally rest. now that you’re (mostly, ajax is always just kind of there) alone, you can finally have some peace and quiet and relax.

or that’s what you think until ajax leans over the couch, head hovering above yours. "now that they’re gone… would you prefer dinner, a bath, or me?"

you stare at him. he doesn’t move, clearly eager for your answer. eventually, you sigh and gently push his face away. "dinner would be nice."

he laughs, something warm and domestic dancing in his cold eyes. "of course! it’ll be ready soon."

he presses a quick kiss to your cheek before leaving.

you whine, but the space he touched feels tingly even against your own hand.

"ajax."

he drops your wallet, not even attempting to take back the couple hundred bills peeking out. his response is nonchalant, even at his supposed surprise at having been caught by you. "ahh, I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon. look at what I found!"

you stare. at him. at what he’s holding. at your wallet on the floor.

you’re certain you did not have that many hundred bills. you’re going to cry if you find him trying to stuff his money into your wallet again.

"you mentioned liking this, right? I was out earlier and I thought I could get it for you. you know, as a sign of goodwill and all, for being such a great roommate."

a couple months ago, you would have been perplexed. he insists on doing all of the chores and most of the cooking, and he pays most of the bills. is the 'great roommate' status because you’re quiet and don’t host loud parties, or…? you don’t question it anymore at this point.

"ajax."

a couple months ago, he might’ve gotten unnerved by your silence. instead, he pushes it into your hands, a wide grin on face, ruffles your hair and saunters out.

you have yet to find his wallet. despite that, all the cash (and then some) that you’d left on his bedside table or bed has always managed to find a way back to your wallet, so there would probably be little point anyway.

"ah, that reminds me!" he peeks back into your room a couple minutes later. "what would you like for dinner?" the nerve of him to ask this right after he calls you a great roommate…

"maybe some soup?" you say instead.

he smiles, bows, and takes his leave. the apron you called cute a few weeks ago is already fixed onto him.

you sigh, sliding the bills in properly.

wait a second. is that a credit card…?

you were expecting many things when you finally caught him, but him sniffing only your shirt—out of all your available laundry—wasn’t one of them.

"…what are you doing?"

you have never seen him jerk his head as quickly, nor have you ever seen him so red. or speechless.

you both stand there in silence for a few seconds before he blinks rapidly and his breathing becomes ragged. "it’s not—I—it’s not what you think, I swear—"

"okay, whatever." you wave him off. somehow, this doesn’t alarm you as much as it should. "I don’t care what you were doing, don’t do it again."

he nods quickly, considerably less composed than he usually is, and shoves your shirt back into the basket briskly. "also… can you stop leaving your stuff in my wardrobe. I know you know the difference."

"ah, that was…" he’s clearly at a loss for words, not sure how to justify himself after having been caught committing not only one transgression, but two.

you set the clothes of his you were bringing to him down, tempted to just throw them at him.

you swallow your nerves, almost nervously meeting his eyes. "look, I don’t really care, but can you at least leave me stuff like your jacket or sweater? your shirts aren’t really my style."

his breathing hitches again but he gives no response otherwise, so you shake your head and turn to leave. the laundromat room is thankfully empty save for the two of you, something you’re glad for.

as you pass through the door, it occurs to you that the guy who’d been smoking in here hasn’t shown up in a while. now that you think about it, that was the reason ajax had offered to take over laundry duty too...

oh well, it’s of no concern to you, you think to yourself as you make the journey back to your room.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Carnal

AN: Everybody thank Lollapalooza Hyunjin for forcibly dragging me out of my writing rut and making me post again. Also, thanks to Sam @souplix for listening to my stressed, horny thoughts and feelings about him lol.

Synopsis: You have a very rude awakening about how sweaty Hyunjin makes you feel.

Tags and warnings: Hwang Hyunjin x Fem! Reader, established relationship, mentions of Hyunjin going to the gym/working out and how his body has changed because of that, one brief mention of possessiveness, Reader is shorter than Hyunjin and there is no plot here.

Smut tags and warnings: Reader is down catastrophic (she's just like me fr), scent kink, sweat kink, lots of mentions of sweat and scent basically lol, lots of licking and biting (both giving and receiving), implied strength kink, mentions of bruises, sex in Reader's kitchen, some pussy play (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), throatfucking (m. receiving), one mention of hentai, kissing post oral sex, dirty talk, some manhandling, Reader is lifted briefly, piv sex without a condom, praise (f. receiving), usage of petnames, creampie, hints of overstimulation, a brief mention of tears, mentions of Hyunjin being clawed at, mentions of pussy eating and implied cum eating.

Word count: 3.3k

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

It's stupid. So incredibly stupid.

You don't know why your brain and body have chosen today to make such a big deal out of your very attractive, very sweaty boyfriend but, they've decided now was apparently the appropriate time to conspire against you. Maybe you can blame this on ovulation. Maybe if you check your calendar, the desire you feel clawing at your gut watching him chug water from his bottle and the way his white shirt clings to his broad back will all make total sense.

When did he get so broad, anyway? You feel like you just blinked and suddenly he was all muscles and strength and you're trying really hard not to think of that one he pressed you so hard into your mattress that your thighs were littered with bruises afterwards–

“Are you okay?” His concerned voice violently shakes you out of the memories that were fogging up your brain. Oh. Oh, it's so much worse being faced with him directly. Who the fuck goes to the gym in a white shirt? Doesn't he see the way it's sticking to his drenched torso? Is he just that unaware of how sweaty of a person he is? Does he not care? You shove down the twinge of possessiveness that flares up at the idea of anyone getting to look at him while he looks this hot.

“Hmm? I'm fine. Why do you ask?” You pray to whatever higher power is listening that the breathy quality of your voice is only evident to you.

The knowing look that dawns on his handsome face lets you know that the higher powers aren't on your side today.

You've been in love with Hyunjin for far, far longer than the two of you have been together and you know it's way too soon to tell him that. However, it's moments like this that make you question your feelings because the smugness rolling off of him in waves as he sets down his bottle and stalks his way over to you is so insufferable. It's hard to maintain your annoyed exterior when he's so close to you and his scent is all around you. You think your ovulation hypothesis might have been correct because it's so fucking absurd that your mouth starts to water just from smelling him and his damp chest being a few centimetres from your face.

“I'm not sure why,” he starts and the gravelly quality of his voice shoots straight to the apex of your thighs. He doesn't stop, though. Pressing you further into your kitchen counter while his hands burn a trail from your thighs to your hips, your oversized shirt shifting up in the process, “but, you look like you want to devour me right now.”

The whimper that escapes your throat is beyond pathetic but, apparently that's all he needs before pouncing. The wind is knocked out of the moment his mouth descends onto yours. His hands give your hips a sharp squeeze before drifting to your ass. Kneading it while his tongue and teeth leave you a mess. All you can think to do is grasp onto his biceps for some sort of lifeline. The muscles and veins underneath your palms don't help the state of pussy in the slightest. The sheer ferocity of the want you feel for him right is a little terrifying. He could ask you to do anything right now and you doubt you'd find it within you to say no.

You swallow down the frustrated whine that threatens to bubble out of you when he pulls his mouth away from you. He doesn't keep you waiting for long, though. Kissing his way along your jaw until his full lips begin showering your neck with licks and nips. If he has any complaints about the way your nails dig into his biceps, he doesn't make them known. God, it's like you can feel your sanity crumbling with every kiss he presses into you and every millisecond you spend surrounded by his dizzying scent. This is quite the way to discover you're apparently really into your boyfriend when he's covered in sweat.

He departs from your neck with one, final kiss. Meeting your lidded gaze with an electrifying one of his own. Frankly, with the way he's looking at you right now, you're not sure why he hasn't tugged down his sweats and shoved his cock into you. It's clear as day that that's what you both want. Then again, your boyfriend being ever the giving romantic typically isn't one to let you feel him until he's made you cum with his fingers and/or mouth at least once. Which you do love but, you're pretty sure if he doesn't sink his cock into you right now, you might die actually. You're sure you're more than wet enough.

As if reading your mind, one of his hands drift to your inner thighs and, of course, you spread them for him. Your breath stills in your lungs when his fingertips brush against your soaked folds. “Fuck,” he hisses, his jaw clenched so hard that you can see one his veins tick. Honestly, if you weren't so delirious just from a few, light strokes of his fingers, you'd happily be licking at it. “How are you so wet already?” He asks, his eyes meeting yours briefly and, the intensity in them makes it infinitely harder to breath, before his attention is focused back on watching his fingers toy with you.

“It's not my fault you're so hot,” you mean to say that as a half-joke but, the sheer desire in your tone makes any attempt at humour fall flat. His mouth is back on yours in a heartbeat. His fingers trace your slick folds with practised ease. He even has the nerve to grin against your lips when your hips jump as his fingers add pressure to your neglected clit. You're so relieved that you have your counter there to support you because you're certain your legs would have given out ages ago. He greedily swallows every noise he pulls from you with his mouth and his fingers. Quiet gasps, needy moans and pitchy keens all find their way into his awaiting mouth while his stupidly long fingers continue to toy with you. You're so wet that you can feel it dripping onto your thighs and, you're sure his fingers are thoroughly coated in it too. A thought that prompts you to kiss him harder and impatiently tug at one of the causes of all of this madness in the first place.

“Off,” you impatiently demand against his plump lips, shoving his shirt up his slick torso. His responding laugh is obnoxious but he does oblige your request without much fanfare. Tugging off his shirt and discarding it somewhere on your kitchen floor. Honestly, you're not sure what's worse: when the stupid shirt was clinging to him or having his bare, sweaty chest right there for you to have your way with. Fuck. You should ask him to drop by after his workouts more often. Raw, carnal desire propels you forward. Pulling him into a kiss that's more spit and teeth than anything. Delighting in the hardness you can feel prodding at your stomach and the groans of pleasure that spill from him while you tug on his damp locks. While this is nice, you have other plans in mind.

You've probably explored his body hundreds of times at this point but, you don't think you'll ever grow tired of feeling the way he reacts to your every touch. Smiling into his lips when his muscles jump underneath your fingertips. Your walls fluttering around nothing when his whimpers hit your eardrums as you tease his sensitive nipples. Burning every part of him you can into your memory all over again. Fingers mapping paths they've travelled thousands of times before but, it never quite feels like enough. This time around, he's the first one to pull away for air. Your kitchen is filled with nothing but the sounds of your respective laboured breathing and the habitual drones from your various appliances.

Your mouth finds his throat and the salty taste of his skin shoots straight to your clit. Hyunjin is a sweaty man. This isn't a secret. However, you're not sure what's changed so drastically today that makes his sweat almost an aphrodisiac to you. You find yourself chasing as much of his taste as you can. Licking his neck until it's a mess of spit and sweat while your skilled hands hurriedly pull at the waistband of his sweats. Whether it's because he's just as lost in all of this as you are or because he wants you to, he doesn't stop you from pooling his sweats and boxers around his thighs. He's scorching, slick and hard in the palm of your hand.

It's a delirious feeling the way he quivers beneath your every touch. His pulse jumping underneath your tongue with every lazy stroke you give him. He doesn't let you touch him like this as often as you'd like. He's giving and so deeply focused on your pleasure to a fault so, you always savour moments like this whenever they arise. Mouthing at his neck and toying with cock just further stoke the flames of arousal lashing at your gut but, it's not enough.

An idea springs to your mind and your pussy throbs just thinking about it.

Thankfully, Hyunjin is too distracted with trying to fuck your hand and paw at your ass to notice anything is going on until you're on your knees. The floor is cold and you can already tell your knees are going to hurt later but, you can't bring yourself to care when he gives you a look that's equal parts confusion and lust. It's so fucking unfair that he still manages to look so cute while his cock is centimetres from your face and your hand is covered in him.

“What–” his question is cut off by a strangled moan of your name when you take him down your throat as far as you can. Not unlike Hyunjin, you're quite the romantic yourself. Typically you'd paint his torso and hips with kisses before teasing him with licks until he's begging you to suck him off properly.

Today isn't a typical day.

Pride swells up inside of you when he leans against your counter for support with a whispered ‘fuck.’ The brief discomfort you feel from his tip nudging the back of your throat is so worth it. You probably took too much of him too fast but, you don't care. You feel like a woman possessed right now. Your hand continues to stroke what you can't fit into your mouth and his taste causes more of your wetness to gush out of you. He always tastes so good, so him but, this is something else. You're sure if this was a hentai, your pupils would be in the shape of hearts right now. You wonder if he'd be grossed out by you asking him not to shower immediately after the gym and his dance classes anymore. Probably.

One of his hands finds its way to your hair when the sounds (and likely sensations) of you gagging on his cock are too much. You manage to blink up at him through your wet lashes (when did you start crying?) and the look in his face worsens the mess between your thighs. Even from here, you can see how almost black his eyes are. A pretty blush dusting across his face that would look endearing if he didn't look like he wanted to fuck you within an inch of your life. He maintains your eye contact as he shallowly starts to thrust into your mouth. Bruised lips parting to let out curses and groans but, his eyes remain completely locked onto you. Watching for any signs of discomfort or him going too far as his hips gradually pick up speed.

It's hard to breathe but, you push that to the back of your mind for now. Focusing on relaxing your throat as much as you can so he can fuck it thoroughly. Your face is a mess of tears, spit and pre-cum but, he's still looking at you like you're the most gorgeous person in the world to him. Maybe you are a little insane about him because what rational person thinks about how much they love their boyfriend while he's throatfucking them?

It takes you a second to notice him slowing down his pace until he stops completely. Before you can shoot him a questioning look, he's easing himself out of your mouth and a noise of frustration escapes you before you can stop yourself. His laugh, like always, is music to your ears and that coupled with the way he plays with your hair for a bit acts as a balm for your brief irritation. Still, your confusion must be written clear as day even as he helps you to your feet because he says, “Was getting close. Didn't wanna cum in your mouth.”

Driven by the painful pulse between your thighs, you drag him into another kiss. The knowledge that he's tasting himself on your tongue is so fucking hot that think you've finally, well and truly, reached the end of rope.

“Jin-Jinnie,” you gasp against his mouth, fingernails desperately clawing at his shoulders, “I ah need you to fuck me, please. Need to feel you,” you rush out in a single breath that you're not even sure he heard you. However, based on the way he practically hoists you onto your counter and ruts his cock into your thigh, he heard you just fine.

“Didn't even get to get you ready,” he complains, his massive hands spreading your thighs for him to easily slot himself between. Your breath stutters in your chest when his fingers stroke your swollen, dripping core and it's especially hard to remember how to breathe when they ghost over your clit. “Didn't even get to taste this pretty pussy,” he whines against your cheek, pressing his nose to your skin while his fingers inch closer to your entrance.

You need to stop him now otherwise you're going to wind up with his face between your thighs for like three hours like last time. And as mind-blowing as that was, you really just want his cock right now.

“Later, Jinnie, okay?” You assure him, grabbing his face in your hands and forcing him to look at you. It's hard to focus when he looks at you like that but, you persist, “You can eat me out all you want later,” it does do fantastic things for your ego watching the way his eyes glaze over at the offer, “but, right now I really just want your cock, please.”

“You're so unfair,” he groans before doing his best to devour you with his full, gorgeous lips. His hands keep your thighs spread for him, gripping them so harshly that you wouldn't be shocked if you had fresh bruises decorating your skin later. 'Seriously, when did he get so strong?' you wonder briefly before you feel him sinking into you. Granted, you did quite literally beg him for this but, it still takes you a few, very long moments to remember how to breathe while he lets you feel every inch of him. You're more than wet enough. That's not the problem here. It's just so much feeling him balls deep inside of you. All you can think to do is claw at his biceps while you try to gather yourself and adjust to the stretch and the sudden, toe-curling fullness.

“So good, so tight,” he moans when he pulls away for some air, focusing his attention on lapping at your throat while his hands fondle as much of your thighs as he can reach. His thrusts start out without an ounce of mercy. The snaps of his hips are precise, deadly and meant to brush against that spot inside of you that always makes you see stars and feel lightheaded with every thrust. It's filthy, frankly. The noises of his skin slapping against yours echoing throughout your kitchen. Your shared, shaky breaths and broken moans adding tension to the familiar knot you can feel tightening in the pit of your stomach.

Blinking your eyes opening, you're met with the sight of his inky hair sticking to his damp forehead and sweat dripping down his handsome face while he watches himself thrust into you, totally transfixed. Impatient hands tugging your shirt out of the way as much as possible so he can watch the way your tits move with every stroke too. You'd laugh at his ever present fixation on your tits if you weren't so keyed up and unbearably close. Clued in either by your watery whimpers or your walls trying their best to milk him dry, Hyunjin drags you as close to the edge as he comfortably can. Pulling you impossibly close to him, right into his sweat covered chest and further onto his stupidly long cock. It's so much, too much being pressed directly into the cause of all of this in the first place. His scent is all encompassing and zipping straight from your nostrils to the apex of your thighs, more of your arousal gushing onto him.

You nearly jump when his fingers find their way to your clit, rubbing quick circular motions just the way he knows you like it, his mouth finding its way to your ear, “You're so close, aren't you, baby?” He whispers, adding pressure with his fingers for good measure while his pace doesn't falter in the slightest, “Gonna cum for me? Wanna cum for me? Don't you? Cum all over this cock that you've been begging for. That you sucked off like a good girl–”

All you see is white after that. Your entire body seizing up so intensely that for a fleeting moment you're worried about how deeply your nails are digging into his skin. Hyunjin doesn't seem to care, though. Not even a little bit. Muttering what you manage to briefly catch are praises and moans of your name while he continues to fuck you through your climax. Tears prick the corners of your eyes while you ride out the waves and Hyunjin seeks out his own release from your spasming walls. You can tell from the way he twitches non-stop inside of you to the increase in his whines that he's growing close. One final, brutal snap of his hips is all it takes for him to sheath himself inside of you and fill you with his warm cum. His broken moans pressed into the hollow of your neck while he cums and cums and cums.

You let him lean against you while he takes a few minutes to compose himself and come back down to Earth. Truthfully, you're not faring much better but, at least you have a counter and an apparent gymrat of a boyfriend to help steady you. He hums appreciatively into your skin when you start playing with his hair and drawing nonsensical patterns into his back.

You're not sure how much time passes, could be five minutes, could be forty but, eventually he starts to pull out of you. This is easily your least favourite part and you can't help the unpleasant shudder that runs down your back once he's completely out. However, you know you need to pee and you both definitely need to take a shower so you don't begrudge him for getting the ball rolling. At least, that's what you thought was going to happen so, when he drops to his knees, you're left baffled and look at him totally puzzled.

“What–”

“You did say I could eat you out all I want later, didn't you?”

This man is going to be the death of you.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.

Stray Kids Masterlist | Ko-Fi

[crows-in-the-house]

Some Bill Cipher nsfw 🙏🏻 I want that triangle

Same anon. Same.

I didn't know if you wanted headcannons or a fic so I made general hcs. I will add a part 2 later with him as a human and a triangle

tw: slight gore, and sex over all, nsfw!

At first he would be really bad at anything intimate - too harsh, too sloppy, maybe too fast, too laud or annoying. But with time he will learn. Especiallly with you as his test subject! Not that you will remember that with your memories changed!

also, enjoys making your mind blank, it feels like a tv with static, it's so funny to him he can't stop!

He likes to shove his tangue in your mouth when you don't expect it. He towers over you, exploring the insides and biting on your lips, making saliva drip down from your mouth. Then he steps away and leaves as nothing happened

He's not really into sex, he doesn't get anything from it, but likes to watch you squirm and make funny faces so he can get down to it - at least he gets to mock you.

He likes how fragile humans are, the thought of being able to snap your bones with one wrong move doing your special time makes him going places. Of course, to your dissmay, he will share such informations with you. Wanna know how you could die now? What are the chances for you getting a heart attack? He will let you know!

And don't worry! He won't shut up during the whole thing! Really! He will talk withaut a break, constantly laughing at your attempts of making him stop.

He is into gore so will actively try to harm you. Don't worry tho, he will make your nerves drown in pleasure when he disarreanges your body parts and organs. Will also take a bite out of your heart, lick in between your lungs and try to stick his fingers in your hot throat. Doesn't it feel nice? Maybe he should stick something else in there huh?

He enjoys making your hair messy. You look like a pouting dog every time!

His hands are constantly roaming on your body, if it's not your hand, it's a waist or arm, or maybe the back of your neck. He likes to "whisper" (shaut and threaten) all the things he could do to you if you won't stop talking to all of your friends. After all he wants to you himself. Always.

If you want him to, he can act a little more caring, whatever that means. Of course, you will have to pay him back for that, but why would you care about that now? For once he will be gentle, confessing how good you make him feel, how adorable your emotions are, how cutsy (pathetic) you look to him.

Remember to pay him back later tho, all great actors must have their prize sooner or later!

Also uses your blood as a lube and drinks your saliva lika water

I think he would be a switch - either wanting to annoy you, being all bratty and whiny or trying to embarras you as much as he can, being raugh and mean, ejoying you obeying him.

Call him your god, your muse, your world, your life! Anything stroking his massive ego will get him rilled up. Drown him in compliments, show him your devotion and admiration, maybe he will act a little softer then usually.

Better be careful what you say during sex tho, he will ask milion questions just to get you under his control :

"Want me to stop? Really? Oh it's a shame you can't tell me with that gag in your mouth!"

"aww does my puppet want to cum? yeah? what would you do to get it hm? OH, EVERYTHING? WOULD YOU SHAKE ON THAT?"

"HA I COULD FUCK YOU SO GOOD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. YOU WANT THAT RIGHT? RIGHT? HA! YOU GREEDY HUMAN, AS YOU WISH KID!"

he's into shaming and degrading his partner but prefers to receive praise, will get mad and raugh if you try to deny giving it

will pull your hair,

and your limbs, he may even rip them of just to put them back in

enjoys your cries, doesn't matter if it's from pain or pleasure

also doesn't understand what "too much" means until he's on the receiving end

not that he doesn't like overstimulation, getting unable to talk and move just because of you stroking him so good shows him how obsessed you really are with him! Please make him tremble and shake, make him beg you to stop, laughing and whining when you ignore him

Will absolutely lie to you and prey on your naivety - of course he can make you not feel the soreness and pain the next day! He's a demon, remember? All tiredness could go away at the snap of his fingers, that's a promise.

(Not a deal tho, so he ignores it the next day. Just to see your tired expressions and body covered in bite marks.)

Over all, he's a very intense experience.

[elysian-chaos]

i didn't know what it felt like to have my heart stolen - suguru getō

summary: you just like being cuddled up in suguru's arms

word count: 1.2k

contents: suguru get x gn!reader, established relationship, could be read as no curses au (college au) but if you don't want to read it like that it's probably canon divergent (in the sense that suguru doesn't defect), this is just pining, straight up pining, fluff, reader somewhat pines over gojo, satoru pines over geto in reader's memory, potential for satosugu x reader, petnames loads of 'em (included but not limited to: pretty, baby, lovie, my love), reader mentions a memory about a magician to themself and i did actually see it on tv once and was traumatised, reader is whipped (whipped is too less of a word) devoted to suguru, soft sugu

author's notes: i have not written in four years please be nice to me, i beg. this thing has no semblance of a plot, the idea came to me before an exam when i was delirious from climbing ten stories worth of stairs (don't ask) other than that, thank you @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat and @cowboyhatetcetc for reading this for me, you are my life savers. also @literaila because if it weren't for you and your suguru obsession, angel, i never would have gotten into jjk so this is for you. oh also, forgot to mention, banner made by yours truly (it took me an hour to make T.T)

𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

“sugu?” 

your voice, however soft and quiet, had broken the undisturbed silence of suguru’s dorm room.

the two of you had been laying on his bed, smushed together on the narrow mattress with his upper arm under your neck while his hand stroked through your hair. you were laying on your back, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars you and satoru had pasted on his ceiling on a dare. the stars were glowing softly, pale green with not nearly enough luminosity to light up the room but the pattern of the false constellations was clear. 

suguru hummed in reply, signalling his attention as he turned his head slightly in your direction, waiting for you to continue.

“it’s a stupid question.”

“you know i don’t mind baby,” his hand stopped at the edge of your jaw, brushing the skin softly with his thumb, “what’s your pretty little head thought up of now, hm?”

your body moves along the mattress, turning to him to grace your eyes with the sight that is suguru’s profile. suguru is a picture of beauty; silky smooth hair tied in a ponytail spread over the pillow his head lays on, eyes half open while the long, dark lashes on the corner of them stick together. soft light filtering in from the dark blinds in his room light up the highs of his face along with the little baby hair and flyaways, giving him a fuzzy glow. an angel just for your eyes.

you lift up your hand, almost cautiously circling the gauge plug in his earlobe, “does stretching out your piercings hurt?” 

your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper but suguru hears you loud and clear as if you are talking loudly like you do when you’re with your friends; goofing out with gojo and haibara or gossiping with shoko and nanami, howling with laughter as the three of you would discuss the latest piece of gossip that had come your way.

“it’s called ear gauging, pretty,” he offers, “and yeah, somewhat. it’s more uncomfortable than painful for me but that depends person to person.”

and it hits you again. why you love geto. how sweet he is, just endlessly kind. there’s never a hint of malice in his tone (except when he talks of the higher ups but all of you speak of them with varying amounts of discontentment). always so happy to help, not even a hint of condescension while he offers it; whether it be correcting satoru about a topic he is brashly ignorant or explaining a new concept to one of the juniors. your boyfriend is almost a saint, an angel incarnated as human, you are sure of it.

nevertheless you hide your thoughts in exchange for the way your eyes widen because the thought of you gauging your piercings, that are currently occupied with dainty dangling pearl earrings, sends shivers of dread up your spine. it sounds painful and to hear him say it isn’t seems unrealistic to you. 

so you question his statement, “it really doesn’t hurt?”

“just a little, lovie. do you remember when you told me about the time you bought a pair of earrings and the post was thicker than your original ones and it made your piercings sore?” he continues once you nod in confirmation, “well it’s sort of like that. you just need to be very very careful because it can hurt a lot if you do it wrong.”

your lips part slightly, forming a soft ‘o’ shape as a whispered exhale tumbles out from between them, causing him to nod slightly and let out a quiet “yep” in response to your reaction. 

you bounce back from the silence which takes over as you digest the new information with another quick question, “will you ever wear those ring gauge thingies? i think they’re called tunnel gauges? i’ve never seen you wear any even though you have so many of them.”

the picture of tunnel gauges forming in your brain pulls you into a memory from your childhood. you recall a pleasant evening from the eyes of your seven or eight year old self, watching tv with both your parents; a show about a magician whose name you have long forgotten. through the hazey, nostalgic filter of your mind you remember the magician linking together the ears of two people with tunnel gauges as if they were pieces of chain and he a metal worker before walking away from the scene. the memory makes you wonder if that was the reason you never even considered gauging your ears but you brush it off in favour of looking up at suguru as you wait for his answer. 

he lets out a little huff of a chuckle, wording the answer in his head before speaking, “i don’t really think they’re my style, honestly. i discussed them with satoru once—bad choice, i know. the next day he bought enough of them to make a small mountain. i kept a few but i made him return the rest.”

“enough to make a small mountain?”

“it’s an exaggeration, pretty,” he rolls his eyes at you, nothing but fondness on his face as he watches you echo his words with wide eyes, unbelieving of the quantity of jewelry that was bought for him. 

you fix your eyes at him with a half-hearted but pointed stare, “i know that. it is still a lot. maybe not in gojo terms, but for normal people? i can only imagine.”

the anxiousness in your brain had made you analyse and overanalyse satoru in the early days of knowing him. you could not for the life of you figure out the seemingly bubbly, white haired boy. he had been so very reserved when it came to you but a stark contrast with the rest of your little group and even closer with suguru. as it had turned out, growing up as he had, he had built up sky high walls when interacting with new people but he seemed to melt around the people he cared about; often expressing his love in the form of uber expensive gifts because he didn’t know the right words or perhaps the right feelings. you had been on the receiving end of such gifts over the course of your friendship; always so anxious and hesitant to accept them but not wanting to hurt his feelings but you had grown since then, a lot less anxious and skittish and fawnlike, so had he. he had learnt to express his emotions in words instead of gifts (not that the gifts had stopped, they were just more... personal now than before) and it wasn’t uncommon to hear the blue-eyed boy murmur declarations of love in soft moments albeit hesitantly.

“anyone up there?” 

suguru’s words pulled you out of your thoughts with a jolt, his lips hovering over your forehead as he looked down at you through his lashes. “yeah, i’m fine,” the words escape you with a sharp exhale, neck jerking once as you snap back into the real world. 

“do you just wanna stay like this for a while?” he questions softly (and the words pop up in your head again ‘endlessly sweet, endlessly kind’). you nod in response and he kisses your forehead after he whispers, “whatever you want, my love.” leaning his neck to plant a soft kiss to your lips and then just below where your hairline starts. 

the stars are still glowing a pale green and you wish on the shooting star stuck to his ceiling for more moments like the one you are in, etching the feeling of his embrace in your mind for the rest of your life.

𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

[russellsppttemplates]

I know it’s very early but dad!Lando with a baby girl 🥺

Note: think of this as a sneak peak 🤭 also, this is my first Lando blurb, I hope I did well!!

Tw: postpartum, breastfeeding

"Oh, what a big stretch that one was, little one", Lando cooed at your daughter as he picked her up from her bassinet. She had just woken up from her nap, meaning he would change her diaper, feed her and have some cuddles while he took care of dinner. You had been home from the hospital for eight days now, and the routine had settled in nicely. Lando wanted to be involved as much as possible so he would often be in charge of dinner while you put Matilda to sleep and he had barely let you be the one to change her diapers as he wanted you to rest as much as possible, even when you said you could do it sitting down with a protective matt on the bed.

"You're going to be all clean, let daddy just wipe around here an- oh", he stopped his ministrations. As he wiped the skin on her lower belly, the remnants of her cord falling and sticking to the wipe, "well, that's happened now, so let's get you dressed so we can tell mummy the news. How does that sound?", he said as he grabbed a new diaper, holding her legs gently as he fastened it and put her pants back on.

"Do you think mummy's awake? You did keep us up a bit last night, but let's see. Look, she's awake", Lando said as he walked in the living room, seeing you fold some laundry, "mummy has found the basket I forgot to take to the office so she wouldn't see it", your husband blushed as you shook your head, "I can do this perfectly fine, love", you showed him, exaggerating your movements and folding techniques.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?", you asked as he sat next to you, helping you push the laundry basket to the side so you could feed your daughter, "Matilda's cord fell when I was changing her diaper", Lando said as you pouted, "That's a big milestone, baby girl! And it also means you get to have your first bath, I bet your bum will be thankful, too", you giggled at your little girl.

"The skin is a bit stained yellow, yes. We could do that tonight while dinner cooks. I can take one of mum's casseroles out of the freezer because I honestly don't feel like cooking from scratch today", he admitted, kissing your naked shoulder and looking down at your daughter, happily suckling on your nipple.

When she woke up again and Lando had just turned on the oven, you made your way upstairs to the ensuite, Lando making a stop in the nursery to grab a change of clothes for Matilda and her bath products, "sitting is fine, but kneeling down will be harder for me", you said as you cuddled your daughter's naked body against your chest, covering her with a towell for the time being.

"Why don't you get in with her, hm?", your husband whispered, looking for any sign of uneasiness and finding only comfort and acceptance as he pulled your pants down along with the disposable underwear, kissing your thighs sweetly before coming back up and helping you undo your shirt, making sure Matilda was secure as he stripped your torso of your clothing, "here, I'll hold her so you can get in", he nudged, holding the baby as you stepped inside the tub.

Once you were comfortable, he placed Matilda back against your chest, the baby cursing up against your skin, "it's okay, my love", you kissed the top of her head as Lando checked the water temperature, filling the tub enough for you to not feel cold either and grabbing the small bowl and flannel cloth so he could wet it and run it on your daughter's back, gently extending it to her limbs and her tummy, "do you like that, baby girl? It's warm and nice, smells good, too", he cooed, seeing her react to his voice as she looked around for him.

Placing the warm flannel cloth, Lando muttered "I'll be back in a second" before he got up and you could hear him looking for something in the bedroom, coming back to the bathroom with his camera, "I want to have this memory saved forever", he smiled, turning on the camera as he captured the moment.

Even though you were naked after having given birth to your baby just a few days before, you never felt more comfortable as Lando snapped pictures, kissing your cheek and Matilda's head as he found the angles he wanted.

"C'mon, little one", he said as he set the camera by the sink, "let's get you dressed", opening her towell and wrapping it around her, her embroidered name on the hood making her look deliciously cute as he set her on your shared bed, coming back to the bathroom to help you out too, "gorgeous, mummy, breathtakingly gorgeous", he complimented, kissing your lips before you out on your robe, walking to the bedroom.

Lando dried her body, putting on her diaper as you rubbed the lotion on her skin, kissing each of her fingers and smiling at your husband's attentiveness to her. Seeing the love of your life tending to your daughter was a sight to behold indeed.

"Don't you and mummy look cute in your pyjamas, Matilda?", he said as you buttoned your shirt, noticing the unintentionally matching clothes, the striped material on your shirt matching the giraffe on Matilda's bodysuit, "yes, you do! Yes, you do! C'mon, daddy gets to have cuddles with you while me and mummy have dinner", he cooed, grabbing the sling and walking downstairs with you, ready for another night in with his favourite girls.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[arimiaromage]

thoughts about dgm chapter 251

gonna throw my thoughts about these new revelations here.

bookman jr or past!allen?

she got us good! I was in shock when I first read it (all my headcanons about pasta, out the window! thrown! chunked!) but now I'm more fine with it.

I believe what happened was that hoshino drew the bookman jr in those flashbacks with nea on purpose - she wanted us to think that was allen and bookman jr. the flashbacks aren't past!allen with longer hair, this is definitely the bookman jr, as we can tell now.

it also makes more sense now why "allen" was talking about high concepts like the spiral being the force for life - it really was a bookman!

I fully think she did this switcharoo on purpose. if we look at her most recent livestream (translated by ponkotsubluuues), someone comments that they were shocked past!allen and bookman jr weren't the same person. her response is basically "yes, I know". she's not surprised people would think that, this was probably deliberately on purpose.

bookman jr & past!allen

okay, now on to some thoughts on who they actually are. I won't stick long here as we'll probably find out in just a few months and we don't have much to go on right now.

personally, I don't really care to ever meet allen's blood relatives. it's never interested me who he's "actually" related to and I always felt it would add even more complicated feelings for him and even more complexity to an already messy as hell family & relationship tree.

that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if bookman jr and allen are some kind of family unit, be it blood related or not. when they begin talking about the two of them as separate people, lucia refers to them as "two young men". so they're probably not father and son, but I could see them as brothers or some sort of brotherhood if they're not blood related.

maybe past!allen is a traveling clown who toured the world with bookman jr LOL.....?

either way, bookman jr was so compelled to protect allen & nea that he gave his life for them. I'm so, so eager to see their bond.

cross marian

who the hell is cross marian in all of this?

we know the cross has been around since almost adam's time, having been with mana and nea since they were children-

so we know that regardless of who is he, he's known about and visited the campbell manor for decades.

in this chapter, they even bring him up by name.

not only does allen ask about him, but lucia talks a bit about him as well.

and note that they're not saying something like "my master left a message for me" and lucia just goes along with it- allen says "my master cross" and lucia continues by saying his full name. she knows exactly who he's talking about.

(allen specifically says "cross shishou" = "master cross" but lucia called him "cross marian")

to me, this is one of the main reasons I don't believe cross is bookman jr. I believe he's somehow tied to the bookman, but I don't think he's the missing jr. if he was, why does lucia refer to him as cross here but not later? she clearly knows who allen is referring to, so wouldn't the bookman have searched for cross and found him with relative ease, given he was at the order for quite a while with bookman & lavi up until apocryphos attacked him?

lucia and the master only refer to bookman jr as "junior", not cross marian. if you're desperately looking for cross marian and are fully aware allen knows who that is, then why not call him that? what do you have to lose at this point?

and furthermore, if cross was this bookman jr, how did he forget who HE made the host? how did he lose allen? redarm!allen looks a lot more like this new past!allen and they both have redish brown hair - if you were traveling with this guy, you should be able to recognize him even if he's de-aged like 8 years, ESPECIALLY once mana takes him in and his hair becomes styled the exact same way.

I know we always have the deus ex machina of apocryphos' memory changing but I really don't want that to be the case for every character, the more you do it the more it becomes a contrivance.

cross definitely has SOME connection to the bookman, I don't feel like his mask and knowledge of bookman things is entirely a red herring. lucia makes it sound like cross reached out to them regarding the campbell manor, but I'll get to that in a bit.

the other leading theory is that cross is cyrus campbell, katerina's brother and head of the family. I feel like this holds a bit more water than him being a bookman, as it'd explain why he was the campbell manor when mana and nea were so young (and presumably before nea became a noah) and why he has worked so tirelessly for both of them.

remember, his innocence maria greatly resembles katerina. it's possible this is katerina's corpse, being infested by innocence. maybe this is from innocence cross was carrying finding its way to her corpse or maybe it was a failed attempt to save her, we don't really know yet.

(I'm not fully convinced about the cyrus theory either though, as why does nea refer to cross as cross instead of cyrus or uncle? how would the order not know about his family and how obviously tied to the noah he is? how could he not recognize allen, his nephew's most trusted friend?)

there have been some theories that maybe the campbells are a bookman family, which may be the case and would help explain why cross has a connection to both, but the way lucia words this part makes me think otherwise.

she makes it sound like the campbell manor wasn't always under their jurisdiction, that it came to be that way but wasn't always. but that might be pulling at straws. I just don't think she'd word it this way if cross = bookman jr.

I'm not fully convinced about either theory about cross as I see holes in both of them. just have to wait and see~

personally I'd still like it if cross was just a childhood friend who got way too attached but we'll see 😂 or maybe he was just pining for katerina from afar....

crown clown

I feel pretty confident now that this is past!allen being hugged by bookman jr, possibly for the last time / as bookman jr's way to protect him.

but I also can't help but feel.... it reminds me of crowned clown, you know? the way it wraps around allen, covering him in an attempt to protect him. even the cut off tips. it really reminds me of that.

the bookman are no stranger to innocence. we also don't know when allen acquired his innocence- did past!allen have it? or...... did bookman jr give it to him as he was dying? did he think it would protect him and nea (and why would he give a noah innocence)?

I would not be surprised if there was some connection between bookman jr and allen's innocence.

allen

I absolutely loved this part.

the pure conviction in his face. no regrets. he finally has a chance to clear up his mind, to cast away the fear he's dealt with for so long about who he actually is. so, so good.

but........ WHO IS ALLEN WALKER????? the burning question. who knows at this point.

I'm very excited to see the next parts, even if it apparently isn't the 35 year flashback (her own words, from the aforementioned livestream) - I assume it'll be a flashback to past!allen meeting nea possibly, or them finding out nea isn't a typical noah, or some major event that happened before shit went down.

yeah that's about it, see yall next time ✌️

[slasher-male-wife]

Slashers with an s/o who steals their clothes

I got this idea from someone writing this about cod characters if I find their account I'll tag them for credit but I thought this was a very cute idea. I tried to stick to bigger slashers so it makes more sense that a wider net of reader can fit in their clothes.

Includes: The Sinclair brothers (separate), Jesse Cromeans, and Jason Voorhees

Warnings: Vague mentions of different body sizes for reader, mostly fluff, possessive language used, reader is heavily implied to be shorter than most characters in this

Lester Sinclair

He'd be very happy to share clothes with you. If you're a similar or smaller size than him he adores seeing you in his clothes. Doesn't matter what of his you're wearing he loves it.

If you're a bigger size than him he'll honestly steal your clothes with permission, "Hey sweetpea is it ok if I wear one of your shirts?" You'll often say yes.

If you get comments from either of his brothers he'll defend you. Why should they care if you're wearing one if his shirts? What does it matter?

Your wardrobe will really consist of his clothes if you're a similar size to him once you're officially a new member of Ambrose. He could give you clothes of victims but he honestly doesn't want you wearing their clothes. You wearing his clothes makes him feel more connected to you.

Bo Sinclair

He's very smug about it when he sees you wearing some of his clothes. Oh you thought you could just wear one of his shirts without getting him to be an absolute ass about it? You're wrong.

"Well I don't remember telling you that you could wear my clothes darlin'." But don't try to take it off when he says that, "I'm not saying you can't wear it. Just ask me first."

If he's feeling really possessive that day he'll have you walk around the house or the town in all of his clothes if you can fit into them. He likes how something as simple as the shirt you're wearing can tell him and you just who you "belong" to.

Like with Lester, when you first really become a resident of Ambrose he'll offer up some of his old clothes for you to wear. You're probably going to opt for clothes from victims but when the time rolls around that you wear one of his shirts he's not letting you hear the end of it.

Vincent Sinclair

Please wear one of his sweaters he's begging you. Well not really begging out right but when he sees you wearing some clothes of his he stops in his tracks and picks up his sketch book immediately.

Loves it if his sweater is baggy at all on you. Also loves it if his sweater fits you just right. No matter how his clothes fit on you he's taking time out of his day to memorialize it. Whether that be by filming you in his clothes, drawing you, painting you, sculpting you, etc, he's going to do it.

If he can fit into your clothes he's stealing them too. He'll avoid getting paint and wax all over them and if you're wearing his clothes he'll make sure you wear ones that don't have wax and paint all over them.

Won't force you to wear his clothes when you're first staying with him because he doesn't want to scare you more than he has to.

Jesse Cromeans

This man really only wears a suit and everything else he owns is black. I'd assume he owns countless black suits that just look the same so if you're into black suits you're in luck. But if he ever saw you trying on one of his suits he'd laugh with you about how big it is. Because Jesse is like 6'7 and a mountain of a man.

Would stop to admire you if you're wearing one of his just regular shirts or whatever pants he sleeps in. Let's be honest, he has cameras everywhere in his house so if he's out on "business" and you're wearing his clothes, he expects you to be wearing one article of his clothes when he gets home.

When he knows he's going to be gone for awhile he'll douse some of his clothes in his signature scent and conveniently leave them laying around for you to find.

But when you are wearing his clothes he can't keep his hands off of you, unless you tell him to stop, then he will. But if you seem ok with it or if you go as far as to tell him you want him to hold you even more he's going to have you in his lap all night long.

Jason Voorhees

When it's cold outside he's already giving you his coat to wear. He worries so much about you all the time and he wants to make sure that you're comfortable Y/n.

He finds sharing clothes to be very intimate and very romantic. When he notices you wearing his clothes he gets all red faced and has to step out of the room for a moment.

If you're smaller than him he finds it very cute how baggy his clothes are on you. But if you're similar in size to him he just adores how good you look in his clothes.

A lot of your clothes come from victims at first and Jason wishes he could get you better clothes, but when you start sharing clothes he feels a little better about it. Also likes how it serves as a reminder that he's always there for you.

[actual-changeling]

It was actually rather hard to decide how to begin this meta post because there are essentially going to be two main parts: why Crowley does not actually avoid/run from his problems and why "going off" is not a bad thing regardless.

Then I wrote the first part and realised this is now 2.5k words long, so uhhhh I will grant part 2 its own post.

With that, welcome back to Alex's today-not-unhinged meta corner!

I am going to approach this topic from a psychological angle, which a lot of people have already done, but without explicitly mentioning it or going into depth. All my information comes from personal experience, research, my therapist, and my psychiatrist, just so you know I am not making shit up. I actually dug up some resources my therapist gave me a while ago.

Generally, there are four different fear/survival responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Most people have probably heard about fight and flight, since those two are usually the only ones that are mentioned/taught, so I will stick to explaining the other two.

"Fawning" refers to actively being submissive and subdued, both physically and emotionally. The goal is to appear non-threatening and to calm whoever is causing the fear response in the first place. It shows up as being overly agreeable, not having thoughts/opinions of your own and ignoring them if you do, your body language changing (e.g., making yourself smaller, taking up less space), and generally attempting to 'keep the peace' or reinstate it.

"Freezing" is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin—you freeze. It means slipping into a dissociative state, which disconnects you from your body, your emotions/mind, and/or the outside world. Usually, people stop being able to talk well or at all, they do not move, and if they do, it is on autopilot; you do not fight or flee, you simply exist until what is causing the fear response is over.

While dissociating, your brain is unable to form full memories—and depending on how heavily you are dissociating, it does not form any memories at all. 

Freezing as a response happens when fight, flight, and fawn aren't possible anymore, e.g., a child who has no internal mechanisms to deal with large amounts of fear because it's a child, so the only way to escape the pain and aggressor is by fleeing into your mind and shutting down.

Why am I telling you all this? Because most people tend to have one or two survival responses that dominate/they usually fall back on, and the same goes for Aziraphale and Crowley.

When faced with an outside problem and a lot of stress, Aziraphale's first instinct is to fawn, to placate the person, to diffuse the situation, to make sure everyone is agreeing, or, at the very least, submitting to authority figures or aggressors. It is what heaven teaches them—stick to the rules, don't ask questions, do what you are told. If fawning involves lying, he will do so, here the need for safety is stronger than his desire to be truthful and stick to his morals.

Unfortunately, the fact that this is his primary fear response is also the reason behind his extreme cognitive dissonance. How can you stick to the rules when you do not know what the rules ARE? So he is stuck trying to figure out what is "good" and what is "bad" so he can be a good angel and avoid doing anything that might be seen as bad or disobedient.

His secondary response to stress or fear is to fight—once it's clear that fawning won't work, he can and will switch over to being more direct and aggressive/less submissive. We see that happening when he gets discorporated in season 1 and needs to get back to earth, at the airbase, or when the bookshop gets attacked.

If I were to ask you what you think Crowley's primary fear response is, how would you respond?

Well, if you said "flight"—you're wrong, and I will explain why.

Flight is his secondary fear response, it is what he falls back on in absolute emergencies when everything is doomed and there's nothing he can do anymore.

Before that, though, he fights.

Even as an angel, he was already questioning the system, he was ready to go and tell God she was doing a terrible job, that her ideas were bad, that he wants to keep his stars and the universe— six thousand years are nothing! If you actively oppose existing rules and defy people's authority over you, fighting is the only option you have unless you plan on giving up or the response becomes too much to deal with.

Fear itself happens when you or someone/something you love is being threatened (whether that threat is real or simply perceived as such doesn't matter), plus there are a large number of more irrational fears.

Crowley's creations were threatened -> He goes against the rules, he wants to fight for them.

On the walls of Eden, he questions God and talks to an angel, his hereditary enemy, once again defying the rules, questioning them.

Job and his children were threatened -> He goes against orders to try and save them.

There is good reason to believe he went against God by saving some of the children from the flood.

He showed Jesus the kingdoms of the world—do we really think that was based on orders? No, it was once again Crowley not playing by the rules.

Wessex? He proposes the Arrangement, which is one gigantic "fuck you" in his fight against celestial rules. Everything after that goes back to Crowley knowing that their jobs suck and that they can cheat, fight the system by working together. In 1827, it gets him pulled to hell and punished, and yet he does not stop; he keeps fighting.

Crowley is the one who immediately tries to stop the apocalypse. Aziraphale needs to be talked into it, needs to be convinced with selfish reasons and personal pleasure.

The reason why both heaven and hell absolutely loathe him is not because he is a runner; it's because he constantly and consistently defies them. He fights.

In season two, he immediately tries to deal with the Gabriel problem while Aziraphale is standing behind him and saying "I don't know" to all of his questions. Taking him somewhere so they can figure shit out in peace is not 'running'—it's smart. Sure, it's far from ideal, but we see what keeping him in the bookshop brought them, don't we? The hiding miracle is what tipped heaven and hell off in the first place.

Aziraphale goes to Edinburgh based on a hunch, but once again—did that help? Did his journalist roleplay trip actually provide vital information that solved a single puzzle piece of that mess? No. Finding out that Gabriel was at that pub with some mystery person was a nice fact to know, but that's it.

During the ball, Crowley is scared, vigilant, prowling around the shop, checking windows, telling Aziraphale to "stop this charade" so they can figure out what to do. Aziraphale, in that moment, was already convinced that sticking to the rules would save them—a heavenly embassy on a technicality, surely the group of fallen angels who got booted due to not following heaven's rules will respect that.

Crowley goes to heaven, which is once again him actively looking for a solution, while Aziraphale also falls back on fighting because fawning is not going to do shit.

There are three times during which Crowley suggests fleeing—which is his secondary fear response—but those are exceptions. Let's have a look at them.

The first one is at the bandstand, the evening before the Apocalypse, and since Aziraphale is lying to him, the situation seems hopeless to him. Yet he is still having his 'agents' look for him, is still fighting.

Do you know why he even suggests running? He is about to leave when Aziraphale calls him back with "there isn't anywhere to go," and now allow me to insert the following passage from the scriptbook.

Crowley looks back. He looks at Aziraphale. Above them, a beautiful starry sky. And Crowley softens.

"Big universe. Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we could go off together."

The sentence in the show is slightly different, but they have one thing in common: If.

IF the world ends, we can still leave and be together. IF.

Crowley is NOT saying "let's leave", he is presenting Aziraphale with a contingency plan in case stopping the Apocalypse does not work. He is NOT running, he isn't even SUGGESTING to run.

It's a "if the world ends, we can be together. We don't need to be with hell or heaven; we can be in the stars," because remember what the end of the world would mean? Eternal torture for Crowley while Aziraphale bores himself to death in heaven.

The next time he suggests it again—when he stops Aziraphale on the street—several things have happened.

First, he did not leave. If he truly wanted to flee, he would have by now, but he didn't. He sits in a cinema waiting for the end: "Out of time. Out of hope," as Neil puts it. Then Hastur and Ligur show up on screen and tell him, 'You're dead meat, Crowley. You're bloody history. […] We're coming to collect you'.

We all know that means "eternal torture in hell," but if you're not convinced for some reason, have another snippet from the script book that did not make it into the show.

Dagon is speaking from the Bentley's radio while he drives towards the bookshop, saying that something has gone wrong and they're sure he has a 'perfectly reasonable explanation' for it. Once he gets out of the car, however, Dagon still keeps going and says the following:.

"Your explanation, and the circumstances that will accompany it, will provide a source of entertainment for all the damned of hell, Crowley. Because no matter what agonies the damned are suffering, Crowley, you will have it worse."

Crowley already knows that. He has been punished by them before, heard, seen, lived torture, there is no doubt as to what will happen should they catch him. So he does what any person with a single fucking brain cell would do—he tries to get his loved one and FLEE.

Flight is the best response in this situation, and if you need me to explain why, then honestly, I cannot help you anymore. I won't go into detail about Aziraphale's response, but, tl;dr, it was shitty and incredibly hurtful, go figure.

Now, let's get to situation number 3, which is his speech during the final fifteen. We do not have an official script for that, but someone did make transcriptions for all episodes; you can find them here. Additionally, I will copy some of what I already said in a different meta post.

Crowley, stuck in his trauma-induced hypervigilance and paranoia, suggests putting as much distance between them and the problem as possible. I think it is interesting that in ep1 he wants to get Gabriel away from them, while at the end of the season, he is ready to get them away from the problem.

So far, I have never seen anyone mention that change! And it’s important! The entire season, it is hammered into our heads how much they love being on earth. It is THEIR bookshop and THEIR car and THEIR life.

Crowley wants to protect that home, and Gabriel is a threat to it, a threat to both of them, their life, the bookshop—everything. He does not want to leave, he wants his peace and angel in one place.

Yet by allowing Gabriel to stay, Aziraphale destroyed the sense of comfort and safety Crowley had slowly developed over the last few decades. Heaven nipping down every now and then to check in with Aziraphale is very different from him sheltering the Supreme Archangel who is running from ‘something terrible’ without even asking if he’s alright with that.

Aziraphale calls it their bookshop, but he fundamentally still sees it as his space to govern and Crowley as a guest; he even calls it a 'heavenly embassy'.

After another horrible week and having his previously safe space violated by several different times and beings, Crowley is back to where he was before—without a home. That fragile existence broke apart, so he is standing in the heap of shards and telling Aziraphale 'I don’t feel safe here anymore, let’s leave’.

He lost his safe space, but he still has his safe person, his best and only friend, the person he loves. I doubt he cares where exactly they go as long as they’re together and it’s safe.

Returning to heaven—it is the one place Crowley cannot follow him to. It’s literally the worst option, he can’t go back, he won’t go back. So he invokes the bookshop again, if you don’t want to stay for me, stay for the bookshop, your books, your corner of existence that I thought we had carved out for ourselves.

There is a common error that people make regarding the timeline, which is assuming that during this conversation they are already aware of the impending apocalypse—but they aren't. Aziraphale himself has no clue, and while Crowley saw the conversation and trial, he does NOT know when it will happen. For all he knows, it could be tomorrow, could be in a thousand years, and, even if he had been given a date, I doubt they laid out all the details and how to stop it.

Considering that his original plan was "get drunk at the Ritz and then have us time," I don't think he knew literally anything about how or when to stop it. So no, Crowley does NOT suggest running away from earth and leaving it to die.

All he wants is some bloody peace and quiet where no demons, angels, or power-hungry floating heads can interrupt them. A space that is safe and theirs. There are also zero mentions of where he wants them to go; he is not talking about the stars or the universe. He wants to get away from where they currently are because heaven and hell show up uninvited whenever they please.

If your boss and ex-boss constantly kicked down your front door and stated their wish to torture you, would you stay there or would you move? Yeah.

This post got very long, but it was long overdue.

I am tired of seeing people call Crowley a callous coward who always runs away from his problems when he is the literal opposite. You take three sentences said under exceptional circumstances and apply them to Crowley as a whole, when it is nothing but his last ditch effort to keep himself and Aziraphale safe.

One last thing: If you come onto my post and start aggressively arguing about this, I will block you. Genuine discussions and questions are always welcome, being a dick is not, and I also simply cannot handle some of the rhetoric people in this fandom perpetuate because it's very triggering.

Make your own post, don't do it on mine.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (10) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the calm before the storm?

masterlist | last part | part 10 | next part

INSTAGRAM

mclaren Shanghai International Circuit

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mclaren Looks like a race day to me 🤔 tagged: oscarpiastri and landonorris

pi4str1 good luck papaya fam 🧡🧡🧡

michelle.ar manifesting double podiums again

jimpxcs Let's go boys 🔥

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h WELCOME BACK LINA F1 LIVE TWEETS ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h she's so real for these reactions honestly 😭

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lilymhe just posted to their story

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🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 45m stfu i'd know that silhouette anywhere. lily muni he at shenzhen n3??? ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 39m not just lily! alex, logan and oscar were also spotted in the venue!!

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m omg oscalina crumbs 🥹 ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m this is so sad, they've already hard launched, why do i still feel like i'm in a drought

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lilymhe

liked by selinabui and 143,284 other

lilymhe Been hanging out with some rockstars lately 🤟 tagged: alex_albon, cameliazzz, selinabui and oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri Today I learnt: I still suck at golf ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri dw babe, at least we suck together ❤️‍🩹 ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui 🥹

selinabui gonna stick to singing my silly songs that was such a humbling experience ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui You did better than Alex

pastry81 the mother convention ft some kens

alex_albon I personally don't recommend karaoke with a musician

linasgirl4 THANK U LILY MUNI HE FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THE OSCALINA PHOTOS WE APPRECIATE U GREATLY liked by creator

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 201,395 others

oscarpiastri Some moments off-track

dan_pjd puppy !!!🥺 so we have roscoe hamilton, leo leclerc and this is...? ↳ marie_h.sb @dan_pjd apollo! lina adopted him a year ago

landonorris I thought that was lily but no, she's really serious about that golfing thing, ain't she?

celia.sucxr why does he keep posting her ↳ pastry81 @ celia.sucxr because that's his girlfriend???

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 4h too many people bitching and moaning about oscar posting about lina but u don't understand, if u were dating selina bui, u would also never stfu about her ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 4h she's still mid lmao ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h until u have acclaimed music critics blaming ur success on pretty privilege, shut up :) ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 3h oomfie you ATE that and also unlocked a core memory

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emptybottles_official Shenzhen Bay Sports Center

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emptybottles_official A beautiful Shenzhen homecoming for Lina and Jonny 💖 Thank you guys so much for three amazing nights of fun (and screaming with us) 🔜 Bangkok

lilymhe had an absolute blast! ↳ emptybottles_official @ lilymhe join us again soon?

zhouguanyu24 Did she sing THE song? ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 keeping dreaming man

piastri_lina shenzhen, how does it feel to WIN 😭

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 1h and what do melb n1, tokyo n2 (replacement) and shenzhen n3 have in common? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 49m oscar piastri shows you will always be famous ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 28m no bc someone needs to get the stats on her energy when oscar is in the crowd like girlie is BEAMING

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha

[augustinewrites]

fushigojo halloween, pre-shibuya style heh

“why can’t i go with you?” gojo complains from his spot on the edge of the tub, pouting as you check your reflection in the mirror. “you’re getting dinner and drinks. i love dinner and i love how horny you get after a few drinks.”

hands on your hips, you turn to face him. “you can’t come because one, you have to take the kids trick or treating. two, shoko and utahime invited me, not us. and also, you mean how horny you get after a few drinks, lightweight.”

gojo jumps up as you turn to leave the bathroom, grabbing your hips and pressing a kiss to your temple before you can escape. “only because i love you so much!”

“i know,” you hum, rolling your eyes but unable to help from smiling as you slip out of his grasp. “and because you love me so much, you’re going to stick to the neighbourhoods we cleared curses out of this morning, be home by 9, and make sure the kids brush their teeth really good before bed. i know it’s your first time taking them alone—”

“we’ll be absolutely fine,” he assures you. “even though you’re abandoning us to have dinner with the hot lesbians.”

after slipping your coat on, you reach up to pinch your boyfriend’s cheek. “keep yourself and the kids out of trouble, and i will bring you back some leftovers.”

“oh, come on. what kind of trouble could myself, an eight year old, and a nine year old get into?”

_____

“we’re not allowed in this neighbourhood.”

gojo places his whole hand on the megumi’s face, hushing him. “what mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her. besides, this is where uncle nanami lives. we’re just visiting for the full sized candy bars that he gives out.”

“but you told us to distract him so you could get inside,” tsumiki points out, blinking up at him with those oh-so-innocent eyes. “isn’t that…breaking and entering?”

gojo pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. “okay, just cause you’re dressed like ruth bader ginsburg doesn’t mean you have to judge me." he crouches down to their height, levelling them with steady looks. "all you guys need to do is stick to the plan, alright? you go up, do the whole, 'trick or treat!' shtick, then megumi, you make...well, whatever sound a frog makes. tsumiki, you argue with him or something, i don't know. keep him occupied."

he almost can't keep a straight face as megumi nods, the frog cap strapped to his head bouncing as he does so.

"okay, now go!" he commands, nudging them forward. "door 69!"

megumi glances back at him, a frown curved on his lips. "isn't it--"

"just go!"

gojo darts out of sight before he can see that it's not nanami who answers the door.

_____

your flat, unimpressed tone seeps through the phone, making gojo shudder. "you really thought it'd be a good idea to break into mei mei's house on halloween? one of the most active nights of the year?"

"okay, well it's not my fault she lives right next to nanami!" he huffs. "i was just going to go in, grab that really expensive bottle of scotch you like, and get out! i was doing it for you!"

he can picture the face you're making right now. you're not at all swooning, and that was clearly not the right argument to make. "the kids almost got their eyes pecked out by crows when they were running away."

"but we ran away together," he emphasizes. "that sounds like a core memory if you ask me. something you wouldn't want to miss out on making next year, right?"

"you're damn right i won't, dipshit!"

and sure, megumi and tsumiki's costumes have been pecked to hell by some birds, but they're laughing (at him, but whatever), sharing candy and toothy smiles. and that's always a sign of a night well spent, gojo thinks.

[storgicdealer]

rolls up sleeves. today's short guys.

the short brought me SO much to think about — particularly, how the news outlets DO exist in the outernet, and how the showdown was seen from the stickcity — which does confirm that if they were around, it was impossible for vic not to see at least bits of it before.

so in this post i am . once again . compiling my thoughts into a big victim theory that tied in my Head

victim theory: the point the show went down

again. warning this is me going on a RAMBLE that is so insane that i constantly switch from one topic to another. expect insanity

in case i interpret something incorrectly in your opinion, or forget a major detail — feel completely free to add on! my memory is horrible

so. presenting the thing that the outernet and the internet are connected with each other, yet still have a barrier in-between them there is a possibility of outernet citizens not having access to it full-time. at the same time, so much stuff is digitally reliant on pc tech that i doubt outernet sticks wouldnt know about it at all

im thinking that when victim has been ‘unsaved’, one way or another — they couldve gotten into the outernet, also one way or another (this is a raw supposition that it would happen that early but). which made them separated from the pc/internet in the first place — severing them from knowing about how things really work there aside from what they learned when needed to survive, as well as knowing about the existence of other cursors.

and given the last, when showdown happened — this was their first cue to become involved in the whole hollowhead tragedy. a thing they didn't know before due to being out of the pc — which was also the point where they became obsessed with revenge.

we now DO know that the outernet has news outlets; whether they saw it on the news or themselves, this was their first step into getting revenge. (at the same time, seeing it on the news would sort of? elaborate on why rocket tech most likely also streams news n such. perhaps as some weird kind of thanks "for showing me where my torturer was" or, perhaps, wanting others to see what has been going on too/how much of a danger cursors are. it would support the freedom guy=victim theory just a tad bit if victim Did care about stick rights prior showdown)

(another point — i must mention that we now know that sticks have phones, and most likely their own in-gadget social media now — but we don't know if they have the same internet as humans do. honestly the whole reason why the theory of sticks not having full access to internet didn't crumble yet.)

going to investigate, either by themselves or having already been in rocket — they could've possibly found the tech dark owned (as well as the mega blaster that literally shoots things in the ip sky) and, importantly, dark's own portals to the internet — and perhaps, have used them, for minor things and scraps or, something bigger. like actual travel.

whether by connecting the cursor with alan or not, by the point of them getting into the internet they DEFINITELY saw what happened with them, chosen, dark. (ava 4 as well, but it is talked about later.)

and thats the point where theyd get the adobe tools = i believe they would have to go to a pc to get them, but i also am not against the possibility of them just. downloading it cracked or something. they got the tools and. if thats the point where they left the pc/internet and didnt come back (perhaps, danger of another user) it mightve been the reason they didnt know about the powers of second.

this whole thing elaborates on why they found the showdown in chosens memories first — having seen what happened, they wanted to fully understand what went down — perhaps where such power came from. it was kind of.. impossible to see sec from such distance? and there werent any news outlets seen next to the showdown site itself, which could explain why they didnt know about secs powers once again.

the thing that makes me doubt this in a way is the reason why they didn't go to alan right away, having acquired the adobe tools. but there is a thing i believe might explain that — victim saw, and realized that chosen, dark and them are peas of the same pod; that they managed to destroy alan's computer — and that they don't have such power to do the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(:{)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

having came back to the outernet, with the adobe tools — they might've started to enact the plan of getting revenge by gaining power that they first lacked, now especially that they had some tools to do so. them getting the instruments that outernet citizens didn't have before, perhaps didn't fully know about — they could've been seen as someone who brought something special to the outernet. they could've been a person that, aside from revenge, would want to protect sticks (it would genuinely clash with how they treated chosen, but at the same time i can believe it was their own anger of not getting what chosen "had". power and ability to get revenge on their creator.) — being seen as some sort of saviour or, at least, someone powerful — this is how they could've gotten up the career stairs of rocketcorp in the first place.

what makes me think of the box episode — this could've been the point they have acquired enough power to challenge alan, causing them to FINALLY hang up posters after 5 years (sorry it just tied in so well in my mind thats why i capitalized it. like holy shit thats the reason for posters being late as shit)

knowing about the showdown, they wouldn't put up dark as well, whether she was mia or . yknow.

what EXACTLY the power to challenge an animator, a god requires. oh this is a brainworm of mine.

knowing about the showdown#2, perhaps having investigated it itself — could bring back the theory of dark being captured by rocket and, perhaps, being in her weak state — used by victim in order to gain more power that they lacked. victim could've known about how challenging dark was to beat + how chosen and dark managed to destroy chosen's computer = a recipe to gain power to go at alan themselves.

and have finally gained enough power, whether with dark or not — they could've went for chosen, who WAS active — and difficult to beat.

finally being ready to go at alan, they went to get the only person alive that was connected to him.

i could also bring in the fact that they COULD'VE possibly tried to go at chosen for using his own powers for themselves as well — at the possibility of them being "good and powerful" in the eyes of society, being a "saviour" — capturing a well-known terrorist, moreover brainwashing citizens (a raw assumption, but perhaps even rocket) into thinking that they need to get him to get revenge on a person that murders sticks — that it is something that they were okay with doing. at the hands of their own, bitter desire for revenge.

one thing that contrasts it all, however — showdown has happened when ava4 already happened. and in case victim went to investigate their roots — it would've been impossible for them not to know about sec. but at the same time, orange used his own wit (and a small sprinkle of chosen silhouette flashing) to try and defeat noogai — and he didn't !! alan has trapped and spared him on his own !! which could've made them think it's not someone worth paying attention to, someone isn't powerful enough that they may need.

i must mention that it is possible for victim to gain the adobe tools without looking at the hollowhead's history after they were created at the time. for example, stealing the app and not opening youtube to do so, lol — but the whole existence of alan's tv makes it at the same time impossible, and at the same time — so confusing on why victim did not know about sec's powers.

im clutching my pearls . oh god this is so long

im going ins

i would APPRECIATE ALL of your input!!!

[sunflowersoap]

back on my bullshit once again. thinks about how the headspace gangs reaction to starting to forget basil can probably tell you a lot about them.

for example, aubrey being EXTREMELY protective over that flower crown. her absolute rage at kel for kicking it off. her thinking "it used to belong to someone, we should return it." very similar to "how DARE basil ruin all our photos! they used to belong to all of us, and he throws us all out like we were nothing! he doesn't even care! he turned his back on all of us! on mari! she used to be here! she used to be a part of our lives! you think just because she isn't here you can just throw everything away? why don't you care? why don't you CARE?!"

her attachment to objects makes me think she values gift giving as a love language. this thing was so important to them, so I'll give it back. I'll give them this to show I care. this thing is special. it's not just an object to her, it's a physical display of their affection. so losing that object feels like losing the last bit of that love.

her being so intent on returning that flower crown even if it's broken and damaged. because someone loved it, so it must be special. her extreme protectiveness was still there, but now it was in a more destructive way. she's so protective of mari and her memory that she assumes the worst of everyone, because everyone pulling away and abandoning her or acting like everything was okay didn't just feel like a betrayal to her. she felt like they were betraying mari. that's why it pissed her off so bad when kel said think of how mari would feel. because oh, NOW you want to think of how mari would feel? NOW??

kel remembering the pictures also sticks out to me. he remembers basils words, even if his memories are so foggy. he has an attachment to those memories. this can also possibly tell us something about him. he doesn't hold on to objects as much as aubrey does, but those memories are everything to him. he listens, he holds all those moments so close to him. even when he's forgetting basil, he remembers all those little quirks he loves. he listened intently to basil, he cherished every single moment. he remembers his favorite things and why he does things and little details about him. even if he's forgetting the fact basil takes pictures, he remembers that they have pictures and WHY they were taken. his focus isn't really on the photo album in the real world. it's on the fact basil is sad and aubrey is so much different. his attachment isn't about the object. it's about the fact it means a lot to BASIL. that's why he wants it back. it makes basil happy. he doesn't understand why aubrey would do it, because his attachment was never to the album. it was "this makes basil happy and brings him joy. he loves this thing. he loves talking about it." so he memorized all his rambling about it. he isn't as attached to the album itself as aubrey is. it wasn't about the photos to kel, it was about spending time with basil. so to him, aubrey's anger seems irrational. it's honestly kinda like different love languages. hers is gift giving, his is quality time. so it doesn't make sense to him. it's basils thing. why would she steal it? it's his passion.

hero, if I'm recalling correctly, doesn't really need to be reminded of basil at the last resort. even while he's forgetting him more and more, he's keeping the group on task. he's bringing up the worry about forgetting things about basil. he looks out for basil. he's trying to keep the group positive. that's what he's trying to do. looking out for basil even when everything's becoming a blur. protecting him even when he isn't there. that's how you see heros love for basil manifest. protecting him. he jumps in to save basil with no hesitation. he tries to solve the fight between aubrey and basil. he looks out for basils health and safety. even if he doesn't know much about basil anymore, even if he's changing, he looks out for him. no matter how difficult it is, he protects him. because if basil can't protect himself, he'll do it. because basils his best friend and he loves him and he needs someone who looks out for him. if basil can't protect himself, he'll help as much as he can. even when he can barely remember him, he remembers he needs his help and THATS enough to keep going.

sunny? simple. he knows basil so fucking well. he knows basil talked to him about things he never talked to about anything else. he's terrified about something happening to basil, enough to have so many rooms of him dying horribly as worst fears. he feels like he can't save their relationship so he runs from it. he knows all of basils worst fears. he knows how trusting basil was of him. he knows how much basil cared about "who he thought he was" (despite what his mental illness makes him think, it's who he IS. not what he thinks he is.) he knows basil like the back of his own hand. he knows his worst traits, he knows his worst fears, he knows his pains and his insecurities and his guilt and his grief. THATS how sunny expresses care and his love language. knowing someone to that degree and listening.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just think this game and the way different characters show love is very interesting.

[glassartpeasants]

How To Love .04

Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, vandalism, awkward ex encoutners

A/N: here, eat up

music playlist

~~~

“Finally! The rush is over.” After what felt like hours, there were no customers or online orders to be fulfilled. Finally, your heart rate could go back to normal.

Picking up some water, you chug it down. “Thirsty much?”

“Piss off, Killer, you’ve been taking orders, and I’ve been running to make them!” You pant as you try to drink more water. 

“So rude.” Killer laughs before going to restock things. “I saw you finally got a car.”

“Yeah! I finally got my driver's license after waiting for my appointment to come up. Law was super happy for me when I told him.”

“How are things with you and Law?” 

“You're never gonna believe this! So yesterday, we almost kissed, but I got cockblocked by the delivery guy!” A sudden cackle fills your ears, making you turn to see Killer holding his chest.

“Oh, so the only time you laugh is at my misery?” Killer continues to laugh as he grips the counter. “Stop laughing, damnit!”

“Six months of waiting only to be cockblocked is the best thing I’ve heard all week.”

“Hey! I was healing from a breakup, you ass! I wasn’t gonna go out and kiss the next man I saw.” You huff while throwing a paper cup at him. “You're lucky we're in public, or I swear!” Leaning against the counter, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to yesterday.

The rain beat against the windows as the movie played to drown it out. Fighting and the dialogue of the villains ring in your ears. Both you and Law were waiting impatiently for your food to arrive.

“God, I’m so hungry. How long does it take for some grub to get here?” You complain.

“Calm down, it’s 3 pm. The rush is right now.” Law says as he can’t help but chuckle. “Plus, if we had just gone to get it ourselves-”

“But that would require changing, and I’m perfectly content on not doing that right now.” Shifting around, you get slightly closer to Law. “Also, I'm warm and toasty right here.” Law smiles as he looks down at you. Feeling his gaze, you look up and softly smile as your eyes land on his lips and yours.

“Law...” You whisper before moving just a bit closer, as does Law. His breath fanned against your lips, making your heart beat faster.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The two of you quickly part faces, burning at the ruined moment.

“I’ll go, um, get it.” Law stumbles as he gets up to get the door.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Laughing nervously, you look away. As soon as Law was out of sight and earshot, you hit the couch cushion and whisper yelled a soft “Fuck!”

Letting out a huff, you push yourself off the counter. Last night's memories flood your senses as you feel your body heating at what could’ve happened if the delivery man had been only five more minutes late.

DING DING DING

“(Y/N) can you get that? I’m in storage at the moment!”

“Sure!” Turning around and running to the counter, you shake away the memories. “Hello, how can I-”

“Ah. I…didn’t know you were working today.” Your brain fried as you see your ex standing in front of you, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah.” The awkward tension felt suffocating as you tried to find the words to say. It’s been almost six months since you’ve seen Eustass, and he still looked the same as the day it all went down.

“Do you still get the same drink?”

“I was gonna get that expresso shit you guys do. Didn’t sleep much last night.” You raise your eyebrow. 

“I thought you hated expresso?”

“I do. I’m just working a twelve at the shop, and I don’t want to be sleepy.”

“Well, why don't you get a cold brew? And I thought you guys had a coffee machine at the shop?” Eustass's face went red as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I broke it.”

“You…broke it?” His face got even redder as he shifted his gaze.

“Killer and I were throwing tools to see if they’d stick into the wall, and one bounced off the wall and hit the coffee machine.” A silence fell between the two of you as you looked at him wide-eyed and slightly agape. After a few seconds, you managed to compose yourself.

“I have no words other than your total is 5.18.” Eustass let out a cough before pulling out a ten. Grabbing it, you cash it out and give him his change.

“I’ll go make the-”

“I got it.” Killer cuts you off and grabs the ticket before you can make it. You could feel your eye twitch, but shove your irritation down with a sigh. Turning your head, your eyes met Eustass’s, and all the questions you’ve had since rushed through your mind.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Eustass's eyes sift as he sees you grip the counter. “Did I do something wrong?”

With a gentle sigh, he responds. “No. There's nothing wrong with you, and you did nothing wrong. It’s me who has something wrong with them.” Eustass runs his fingers through his hair. “I should’ve got my shit together and grown up instead of always chasing a constant thrill. Too immature that I kept staring at other women.”

“Out of all the people in the world. Why (.....)?”

“Wrong place at the wrong time. She came over to see you cause, apparently, you two had plans that day, and she had just come over early. And you know what happens after that…” You look at him like he was speaking another language cause you know for a fact that you did not have plans with her that day. 

“We didn’t have plans that day.” Eutass looks shocked at your revelation.

“What? Why did she come over then?” You throw your arms up.

“How am I supposed to know?!” Another silence falls among the two of you before Eustass speaks.

“Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter. Just know that none of it was your fault. Not my cheating or anything. You were perfect in every sense of the word. And I'm a fool for taking you for granted.”

You look away and sigh before turning back to Eustass. “Despite the fact I still want to kick your ass, I’m glad you’ve taken responsibility.”

“It’s the first step to maturity, right?” A small chuckle leaves the two of you.

“I supposed. Just don’t change yourself too much.”

“Here’s the cold brew, Eustass.”

“Oi, thanks, Killer.” Killer nods before leaving you and Eustass alone again. “Wait, I thought I got an expresso?”

“I rang it as a cold brew. It has more caffeine in it and is not as bitter. And it’s cheaper.” Eustass looks down at the coffee before giving it a whiff.

“Just try the damn thing!”

“Give me a second woman, god!” He huffs before taking a sip. “Oh, that’s not so bad.” You roll your eyes before you see another customer come in.

“I guess that's my cue to get the hell outta here. It was…nice to see you and talk to you again.”

“Yeah…you too.” Turning around, he waves before closing the door to the cafe, leaving you to boil in your thoughts.

‘Yeah, you too? Why the hell did I say that? I didn’t miss him at all! Did I?’ The inner turmoil from all those months ago resurfacing. Even if some of his words gave you closure, you still couldn’t help but feel pain in your heart.

The fact that even after breaking your heart, he was still so easy to talk to. That he even got a chuckle out of you! Why? How on earth did he still manage to make you laugh? Why was there this burning in your chest when you thought of him? Months ago, you were filled with hate and hurt, and now, even if it was for a second, talking to him feels normal again.

“Hi, sweetie, how have you been?” An old, gentle voice breaks through your voice.

“Oh! Mrs. June! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. But I’ve been okay.” You give her a small laugh as you look at the little old lady. Your week was going great, but now having that talk with Eustass fucked it up. Filling it with doubt and more questions.

“Is it about the man you were just talking to?”

“What?! No! I’m okay! Really!”

“Dear, I was your age once too. Not to mention, I have children your age, too. I know when troubles are caused by a boy.” The caring voice she carries makes you let out a sigh.

“My ex just came to the shop after not seeing him for six months since he cheated. Talking to him felt so normal, just like it used to be. But I don’t love him anymore. I shouldn’t love him anymore. I’ve fallen in love with someone else. Everything was fine. I was happy. But now he just had to waltz back in, and there's a burning in my heart.” Admitting it did feel much better. Instead of keeping it down and suffering, having an unbiased opinion is nice.

“Oh, sweetie, you simply miss the memories. You miss what once was. It’s normal. I’m sure you loved him very much, so it’ll always hurt, no matter how much time has passed.”

“But I’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

“It happens to everyone. You're not a bad person for it.” Letting out a breath of relief, you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“You really know what to say. Thank you, Mrs. June.” She places her hand on your own.

“Anytime, dear.”

~~~

The day seemed to drag as he couldn’t help but think about you and the kiss you almost shared. How, after dreaming of your lips on his, he would finally get to feel them. But of course, it was just his luck; the delivery guy ruined the moment. Law’s never wanted to strangle someone more in his life.

“Hey doc, we got a female, age 24, coming in for back pain. Room two.”

“Hmm? Oh. Okay, thanks.” Grabbing the chart, Law movies towards the room.

“Hello, I’ll be your-”

“Law! It's you!” Hearing that ear bleeding voice ring in his ears make a scowl appear on his face. Of course, it had to be her, of all people, when he was already annoyed. Gritting his teeth, Law could only picture going home to you and Bepo to calm him down. You smile and ask him about his day, and Bepo comes up to welcome him home.

“I’ve missed you so much! I’ve tried to get in contact with you, but-”

“You said you're here for back pain, correct?”

“Well, yes but-”

“Have you hit anything? Where does it hurt specifically?”

It’s evident that Law’s lack of normal conversation bothered (.....). Her nostrils flared, and her eye twitched, but she quickly shoved it down. “How’s Bepo doing? I’m sure he misses his mom.”

“He’s fine.”

“I mean, I’m sure he’d be delighted to see me.”

“He doesn’t care. He’s a cat.” While Bepo obviously was more than just a cat, (.....) didn’t deserve the thought that she was missed, even if it was something as simple as a cat.

“I’m sure you’ve missed me, isn’t that right, traffy?” Her voice, trying to be sickeningly sweet, only sounded like the screaming of a fox. Her use of her old nickname for him makes him feel sick.

“Don’t call me that. It’s Dr. or Trafalgar to you.” Law snaps at (.....). No one was allowed to call him that. Hell, she was the only one that did. The nickname grinds his gears.

Cracking her knuckles, (.....) takes a deep breath before scoffing. “...Is that mooch (Y/N) still living with you?”

Law gripped the clipboard violently. He was already struggling with remaining calm just seeing her, but now that she’s trying to insult you? The one person who seemed to get him and care about him genuinely? That would not stand.

“She’s not a mooch, and yes, she is.” Law answered with gritted teeth.

(.....) rolled her eyes before continuing. “She’s probably still working that dead-end job at the cafe. I told her that she was going into a stupid career path.” (.....) words made Law grip the clipboard even tighter. “She isn’t even good at art or writing.”

Hearing (.....)’s final words, Law’s grip on the clipboard was tight enough to put a crack in the plastic. “Take that back (.....). Right now.”

“Why? We all know it’s true.” Seeing red, Law finally snapped.

“She’s one of the most creative people I’ve ever met. Her creativity is something you could never hope to achieve. Not to mention, she took those as minor classes. If you ever dared to use your fucking ears, you’d know she went to major in being a chef.” Law’s words pierced through (..... like bullets. Each more painful than the last.

“Everything about her is nothing you could ever hope to be!”

“You're acting like you love her!”

“That’s because I do!” Law immediately slammed his mouth shut with his hand. The room became tense and silent.

“That fuck did you just say?” (.....)’s voice drops as she clutches her fists. Her pupils dilate. Once full of awkwardness, the room is now full of uneasy tension. Law’s body filled with concern as the look on (.....) was murderous.

“There’s no fucking way I’ll let that bitch take you away from me.” She sneered as she looked at Law. “I refuse to let that bitch take you!” Her scream echoed off the walls. 

“What the hell?! I’m my own fucking person.”

“You are supposed to be with me!” Suddenly, two men come into the room. The screaming from earlier had already prompted security to call.

“We got called for screaming?”

Pointing to (.....) Law quickly answers. “Her! She needs to leave!” Nodding and taking his word as fact, the security guards go to (.....).

“Ma’am, you need to leave. Please don’t make this harder than this has to be.”

“Don’t fucking touch me! I’m not leaving until I finish talking to Law!” (.....) turned her head towards Law, who stood by the door.

“Leave (.....) there's nothing to talk about.”

“No!” Pushing past the guards, (.....) tries to run up to Law, only to be stopped by security. “Get off me!” The sound of (.....)’s scream echoed throughout the hospital as she was dragged out of the hospital.

The whole encounter had Law shaken as he sat in his office and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Holy fuck…” Of the two years he’s dated (.....), never has he seen that side of her. It’s been so long since he’s broken up with (.....), yet with her reaction, it felt like it only happened yesterday. It was unnerving, to say the least.

DING

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sees a text from you and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. With a soft smile, he opens it.

“It sounds great.” A soft chuckle leaves Law’s lips before he replies and puts the phone back in his pocket.  Looking down at his desk, he couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of getting off work to see you once again.

-I made a drink inspired by you :)

-Is it good?

-Of course it’s good! I also made Bepo out of wiped cream

-Bepo’s not that fat

-One day, you’ll take off your rose-colored glasses. Does pasta sound good for dinner?

~~~

As the day turned into night and the street lights shown bright, it was finally time for you to go home. With all the rushes through the day and that emotional encounter with Eustass, the concept of home sounded heavenly.

Considering Killer left earlier for a doctor's appointment, you were the only one to close up. Thankfully, the rest of the day was quick and easy. There were no rude customers or rushes. It's the perfect night to be closing by yourself.

It also happened to be the first day you got the car you had saved enough money for and bought off the Facebook Marketplace. It was a beater, sure, but it was your first car. Taking the bus was fine for the first two months, but after almost getting robbed at the bus station, you decided it was time to face your fears and go get your driver's license.

You didn’t tell Law until it was all said and done because you wanted it to be a surprise. Even getting in to take your driver's test took eons. It was booked months out! So when you finally managed to take it, you made sure you passed that test. After that, you just had to save up. And now, you have a driver's license and a new car. There was a nick or two of missing paint, but you loved it.

As you close up shop, you notice something on your car's back window. Squinting your eyes, you let out a gasp at the sight of your back window shattered.

“No, no, no, no! What the hell happened?!” As you run up and get closer, your mouth drops open, and you can only look on in horror.

The closer you got, the worse it got. Instead of what you thought was just a broken window, you're met with your tires slashed, every window shattered, and horrible names carved into the side of your car. Glass shards covered the pavement around the car and in the inside of your seats. The metal of the car ruined as the words ‘bitch’ and ‘whore’ were carved into the car doors. Each headlight busted along with your mirrors.

The car you had spent so long saving up for and were so proud of is now reduced to nothing but a hunk of junk. As you stared at your car in horror, one thought ran through your mind. ‘Who could have done this?’

A feeling of unease fills your body as you look around the dark, empty parking lot. The only one there was you, and what was your car. Grabbing the store key from your key ring, you run back into the store. As soon as you lock the door behind you, you make a break from the security camera footage.

Logging into the computer, you click on today’s date and start recording. You put it on 2x speed as you scan carefully. It showed your co-worker opening the shop, and then a few others showed up before the customers. The day goes by before you show up. Now, you get even closer to the monitor, determined to figure out who would do such a thing.

Finally, at 7 p.m., you see a person dressed in all black emerge from the shadows. Trying to get a closer look at their face, you see they are wearing a mask, which makes you frown, but you continue.

You watched them pull out a knife from their pockets before slashing each of your tires. Zooming in, you watch as they use what you assume is a key to carve into your car. They go to both sides before getting up, looking around, and moving out of frame. Not even seconds later, the person comes back into the frame. Your mouth drops open as you watch them use a rock to violently smash your windows.

“What?! How did I not hear that?!” Switching to the inside security camera, you fast-forward to 7 p.m. to see what was happening. You immediately lower your head and let out a quick “God damnit” at the sight of you dancing to the music you had on blast while closing. 

Standing up straight, rage boiled in your veins as you kicked the nearby trash can “Fuck!” Looking down at the camera footage again, your heart stops when you see the hooded figure staring straight into the camera only minutes before you see what happened to your car. The shine of a knife in their pocket made you swallow the lump in your throat. 

You pull out your phone and get to Law’s number. “Come on, come on, come on!” The sound of the ringer going to voicemail causes a sweat to start. Ending the call with Law, you immediately try to call Killer. Every second you heard it ring, it felt as if you’re getting grey hairs. Yet just like Law’s, his, too, went voicemail.

You begin to panic as you try to think of anyone else to come pick you up or at least talk you through what to do. You didn’t have many friends. At least ones that you trust enough to give you a ride. Biting your lip, you start panicking before a number comes to you.

“No, I can’t call him.” You begin to pace around as you fight with yourself. Finally, after taking another look at your destroyed car in the camera footage, you dial the number.

“Please pick up the phone.” Crossing your fingers, your heart beats with every ring.

“Oi-”

“Eustass! Is this you?!”

“(Y/N)? What-”

“I know you said you're working late, but please, I need you to come to the cafe.”

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” Your breathing becomes ragged.

“It’s hard to explain, but I don’t feel safe right now and-”

“I’ll be right there. Stay inside the cafe till I get there, alright?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll see you in five.”

“Okay.” the call ends, and you look at the security footage and set it to live.

~~~

Like he said, it took only five minutes before you heard his car pull up. You watched him park up front and get out of the car, and only then did you go back outside. “Thank god you're here, Eustass.”

“Yeah, so am I. What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Follow me.” You wave your hand for him to follow. As you stop in front of your car, you hear Eustass exhale before running his fingers through his hair.

“Holy shit, is this your car?” Nodding, you look at it with heartache.

“It was my car. But some hooded figure vandalized it while I was closing up shop. I couldn’t see their face or anything. What’s worse is that after they trashed it, they stared at the camera for a minute or two before leaving. They had a knife to slash my tires, and when they looked in the camera, they made sure I could see it.” Crossing your arms, you sigh as you think about it all.

“I didn’t even know you got your license. So this is a bigger shock than I originally thought.”

“I just don’t understand. Who have I done wrong to deserve this? Not to mention, I had just bought this car yesterday!”

“Maybe it was a case of the wrong car?”

“No one has a car like mine. At least that I work with.”

“How about you call the cops and have them check it?”

“That’s not a bad idea. But can you stay here until they come? I’m not sure I feel safe being alone…”

“Yeah, of course.”

~~~

Despite the cops taking forever to arrive, they managed to tow your car to the station as they took your story and the security footage. You gave them your number, and they said they’d contact you with any updates. This left you now in the passenger seat of Eustass’s car with a bag of McDonald's chicken nugget meal and a shake, taking a fry from the bag every once in a while.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so depressed eating fries.” Eustass chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. “Do they taste bad?”

“They taste like 3,000 dollars down the drain.”

“Not very salty?”

Grabbing another fry from the bag, you pop it into your mouth. “No.” Laying your head down on the window, your eyes follow the street lights. “Thanks for taking me to get chicken nuggets and driving me home.”

“No problem. It’s been a day for you.” The tense silence was as overwhelming as the elephant in the room, suffocating.

“I got a dog.”

“Oh? I thought the place didn’t allow animals?”

“I moved a month after you left. Bigger place and allows animals.”

“What kind of dog?”

“It’s a pittie I found eating out of my trash can.”  You couldn’t help the small chuckle that left your lips.

“Probably smelled all the beef jerky wrappers and thought they were in for a snack. What’s their name?”

“Rocky.”

“Of course, you named them Rocky.” The two of you begin to argue playfully as you approach you and Law’s apartment. It felt nostalgic almost. Sitting in the car talking and arguing about whatever. But even if it felt nice to talk, the thought of Law and the way he looks at you has overtaken the spot in your heart the Eustass once owned.

As you once again enter the apartment's parking lot, a sigh left your lips. “Well, we’re here. Thanks again for staying with me and driving me home once again during all that.”

“It’s fine, I promise. I’ll see you sometime…?”

“Yeah…see you sometime.” Leaving Eustass’s car, you make your descent up the stairs.

Throwing his head back, Eustass stares up at the roof of his car. “Can’t believe I fucked it all up.” He sighs. Looking at your shared apartment with Law, Eustass rubs his eyes from the tears that threatened to spill. “Treat her better than I did, Law.”

~~~

Parking in his spot, Law gets out of his car and is finally ready to be home after such a long day. Looking around, he notices your car isn’t anywhere to be seen. Were you still out? Law scratched his head before walking upstairs.

As he unlocked the door, he heard cries and saw your shoes on the shoe rack. You were home but crying, and without the car, you were so excited about. Slowly closing the door, Law listened to your cries. It led him into the living room, where he saw you crying. A case of chicken nuggets was open, and a half-drank shake was on the coffee table. Tissues were overflowing the trash can.

“(Y/N)?” Taking a simple step, he sees the mascara running down your face. “Are you okay?”

“No! I’m not okay!” Plopping a nugget into your mouth while you sniffled. “My car got vandalized to the point I can’t drive it! I haven’t even had it for a full twenty-four hours!”

Law’s eyes widened at your words. “What? What do you mean vandalized?”

“My tires were slashed, windows busted, the side of my car carved with horrible names, and my mirrors and headlights smashed! Everything was destroyed!” Letting out a hiccup, you take a sip of your shake. “Then I fucking saw Eustass today, so that was perfect!” You huff.

“Really? Odd. I had (.....) at the ER today. That was a whole ordeal.-”

“That’s when I tried to call you and Killer. Neither of you answered, so I had to call Eustass to pick me up and bring me home!”

“I’m sorry (Y/N) if I had known…”

You sigh. “It's not your fault. It was just an awkward and horrible day.” Law looks at your form. He hasn’t seen you so distraught since the first day he took you to his place to stay.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Law looks at you. “Do you…want a hug?”

Nodding, you get up from your cocoon of blankets off the couch. “Yeah.” You wrap your arms around Law’s frame and begin to cry into his clothes. Wrapping his arms around you, Law delicately places his chin on your head. “It’s not fair.”

“Not it’s not. But I'm sure the police will find the asshole that did it.” Law tried to reassure you.

“I tried to check the camera at the cafe, but there was a hooded figure with a knife. They even looked into the camera and made sure I could see it.” You let out a shaky breath and hold him closer. “How did they know it was mine? I was the only one closing, and no one was there with me. What would have happened if they decided to break in or wait for me to leave the store?”

Rubbing your back, Law tries to comfort your worries. “You're home now. Your home, and I’m here.” He swallows the lump in his throat. “I promise. I won’t let anything ever happen to you.”

“Thank you, Law.”

~~~

taglist

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[animentality]

not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.

first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.

you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.

but on a more general note.

writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.

someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.

but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.

you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.

the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.

because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.

that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.

we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.

90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.

we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.

met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.

we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.

which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.

like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.

there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.

there always will be.

but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.

the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.

and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.

but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.

I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.

and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.

it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.

but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.

the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.

if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.

you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.

you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?

you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.

and it's not even your fault.

your parents aren't doing anything to help you.

you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.

your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.

they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.

and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.

but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.

maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.

adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.

adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.

but kids are just kids.

they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.

you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.

the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.

so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.

our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.

so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.

but as someone living in 2024.

I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.