#also fuck you tungle dot hell

[whumpacabra]

On my hands and knees begging writeblr blogs to activate their blog’s custom theme to a) make permalinks easier to find and b) ensure their blog archive is accessible.

[ifyouhavegonst]

thinking about the anon I got on my main around this time last year (when i was first getting into ghost) who said i was soooo fucked up for posting "real person fanfic" and for being horny about a real person online. and they were fucking talking about papa copia because they thought he was a real guy LMAO

anyways anon if you're out there

[queenblueoffire]

Tumblr changes it’s location of the stupid live almost as much as spotify changes it’s fucking home layout

[snurtle]

Nine people you'd like to get to know better! Weheheh.

Tagged by @criminal-sen I haven't done tag games in a while.

Last song i listened to: (squints) Uh. Dark ambient fantasy music for writers 10 hrs-- Fantasy tavern music for writers 3 hrs--- uh, uh, oh- shit- (i fumble the playlist and a bunch of videogame osts wearing tiny .mp3 trenchcoats go spinning out all over the floor. fuck. i'm not normally like this i swear. (i'm lying. i am. i love ambient music. and ska. shhh)

Favorite color: pink. there is no contest i'm sorry to say, pink is my shit. I would live in a cotton candy cave if I could. I am constantly one good decision away from animorphing into a fat, hot pink ceramic garden gnome in a wizard robe.

Currently watching: nothing atm, though I did recently start talking to a fanfiction author that I loved the work of. Turns out he's a writer too, and he gave me free copies of like ten????? of his sci-fi books?? full ass e-books??? damn. god damn. so nothing to watch, but E V E R Y T H I N G to read. I'll leave reviews as I finish them.

Sweet/savory/spicy: no. salty. sour. where are the real options!!! inquiring minds need to know!

Relationship status: uhhhhh idk ask @archvillain

Current obsession: sad evil men who are convinced they're doing the right thing at a high cost, not committing atrocities and burning the world. also DRAGON AGE. This fucking franchise. It's eating my life. I started systematically combing The Masked Empire for every instance where Felassan is mentioned or has dialogue for fanfiction research purposes. Truly the actions of a mentally well man. I'm hyped-against-all-hope for the release of the fourth game in the series, Dreadwolf. Apparently it's slated for this summer? I won't hold my breath... and yet.

I also enjoy chewing violently on mad scientists, though that interest has been dormant as of late (<3 Mayuri Kurotsuchi <3) .

I'll tag...

@accidental-hero obligatory tag in ask games. I KNOW you but shhh. Just tell me what you're up to.

@archvillain do i know you? yeah i want to know you better wawawaa @recurring-polynya I've missed your houseplant updates as of late! I started gardening in earnest again this spring and thought about you. @whipplefilter I was torn on whether or not to tag B3 here!! :D Either way your presence is always a fun bright spot on tungle dot hell. @kurjakani Your haunted-eyed old men and love of vast lonely spaces is deeply compelling. That's pretty cool!

And... whoever would like to play!

[animentality]

I liked your blog until you advertised your book 6 times a day every day. It was a little much for me

That's too bad 😔

Quick question though...

Do you think I...care about this blog more than I care about my books?

Do you think I...care more about a totally meaningless follower count on tungle dot hell more than I care about something I put my entire heart, blood, sweat, and tears into?

This blog where I regularly joke about cum and shit and piss and collect Twitter memes and share bizarre rants about 20 year old movies?

This blog I've had since I was 15, a conglomeration of all of my most embarrassing and humiliating experiences and moments?

Did you think I...had some kind of theme or that I was some kind of actor or comedian whose only purpose is to amuse you or otherwise entice you to stay?

Anon, I want to ask, who are you, exactly?

What do you mean to me? And don't ask me.

Ask yourself.

Who are you, and why would Kai want you?

What is it about you that I would need? Your loyalty?

Your love?

Your attention?

I need none of those things.

I reblog my own book posts over and over because on Tumblr, that is the only way to make sure your followers see something.

I reblog my book posts because I care about my books and I like to share them with the world, specifically people who might find them funny or enlightening or interesting.

I'd reblog them if I had no followers.

I'd reblog them for myself and myself alone.

Now not everyone will find them interesting.

But that's ok.

Frankly, I don't care.

I also dont care for people who unfollow because they were expecting something else from me.

You get what you get.

This is my blog.

I control it solely.

There is no gimmick. There is no bit.

You accept all of me or none of me.

I earnestly and wholeheartedly wish you the best in whatever it is you enjoy doing.

But me personally, I'm here to fuck around, read hilarious takes, and occasionally promote my books.

Sometimes that means I reblog a post from myself twice a day (and it's never been six you liar).

And sometimes that means I take a break and chill on the self reblogs and just post other things I find interesting.

But whatever the case.

This is my blog.

You're in my house. Now you're out.

And good riddance.

Don't really care if you enjoyed your stay.

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

If tumblr staff is too tiny and powerless to deal with hate speech effectively, they should also be too tiny and powerless to obsessively flag trans content.

Hope this helps ❤️✨

tell me you know nothing abt site moderation without saying you know nothing abt site moderation

do you honestly think a couple hundred people At Most are fully capable of effectively moderating, last i checked statistics, around 13 million posts per day? 13,000,000??? per day???

assuming even a moderation-only staff of 200 people working every single day (which tumblr def does not have--that one leaked memo said they had ~200 fulltime employees *total* before the recent downsizing, not all of which are moderation), that works out to around ~65k posts per person per day.

do you have time to review more than 65k posts every day? of course not. even with a filter algorithm (100% essential btw, because staff should not be forced to comb every single post for shit like literal actual csem, never mind hate speech and gore posted in popular tags as part of a 4chan raid or whatever) that's basically impossible. and you NEED to manually review posts for shit like hate speech, because overly-aggressive filtering is more likely to fuck over people explaining dogwhistles to look out for than, y'know, actual hate speech/symbols

also, sorry you came from the dimension where staff loves to play flag-the-trans-posts, but in this dimension that's a combination of:

- necessary algorithm (reasons listed above) having been trained pretty fuckily during the Verizon occupation, and

- the (usually offsite-organized) terf groups who stalk and mass flag trans people, especially popular ones, and remake accounts to keep doing it when they get blocked (which is the unfortunate tradeoff of an easy account sign-up process)

the vast majority of maliciously flagged trans posts i've seen get unflagged within a few weeks. yes, that sucks to wait on, but it's also a reasonable time frame when one considers the ratio of staff to staff-tasks-per-day. check the notes on any post about a flagged selfie or trans art older than abt 2 weeks; chances are good you'll see the humans blog, or another staffer, apologizing for the delay.

disclaimer: im trans and am not/have never been employed by tungl dot hell, and i also take issue with some of their decisions, but at this point i'm a lot more worried abt the user-led conspiracy about staff being made entirely of cryptoterfs (despite multiple accounts from current and former staffers, plus their own published info, showing tumblr has more queer people on board than the average socmed/tech company by a significant margin) who are supposedly paid to sit there and maliciously flag us icky trans users for funsies and enrichment all day

tl;dr y'all are on that reverse gaylor shit. stop it.

[watatsumiis]

WIP titles tag meme!

i got tagged by @dottcre to post the titles of my current WIPs -- there are a few so buckle in! I also rated them just like for the goof I guess. Under the cut!

I have about 4 or 5 that are just titled '(character) X reader drabbles' including Xiao, Capitano, Pantalone and Ayato. Boring but to the point. 3/10

'Foul Legacy Fluff' exactly what it says on the tin. Simple and effective, subject line brilliant, 8/10

'Sagau rambles' lame, uninspired, 1/10

'200 follower event songfics' -6/10 because there's still a request sitting in my inbox that im stuck on and I'm at over 700 followers now

'How they help you sleep' yeah General we get it you were sleepy when you started writing this then gave up 2/10

'Chronic headaches series' 3/10 because I've had a fluctuating migraine for like 4 days I don't wanna think about that smh

'Writing prompt challenge from sh1-nobu' 5/10 it's fine. But also it's not really a challenge. It's coming together cutely though and there might end up being two separate fics aha

'reaction to being ignored for vidya' if anyone else read this without context they would be baffled 8/10

'tungle dot hell posts' with about 8 or 9 subsections but this post is already too long so not going into them. It's fine I guess. Generic hellsite joke here. 2/10 because it's a pain in the ass to scroll through

'tungle dot hell icky post' ok cool good for you I guess. 6/10 because the mystery is fun

There's about 3 named '(character name) smoot' with various subsections. Grow up and just say smut like everyone else man. Cringe. 0/10

'arlecchino drabbles for anon' it's getting there buddy I promise 4/10

'Harbinger snuggle series' how does it feel to have immaculate taste actually 10/10

'Bitey reader for anon' makes it sounds like the reader is gonna bite anon. Very funny 9/10

'Pierro content. As a treat.' fuck yeah there is let's go 10/10 obsessed with that old man

There are more but this post is long and I'm having trouble keeping track since I'm on mobile.

If you're reading this and you have WIPs, then I officially tag you (if you'd like to do it!!) I may actually tag some people later tho!!

[commaclear]

♡ Ko-fi link ♡

Hi! I’m Comma! I’m primarily a tnt duo fic writer and parental figure of tntblr (call me appa) here on tungle dot hell, and this blog is for my endless torment at the hands of my lovely anons (as well as memes only I find funny, political hot takes, and brainrot rabbitholes)

I’m not really one for self promos, but I guess I’ll link my Ao3 if you want to check out my nonsense (and if you can’t get enough, I have a bunch of extra content on available on my ko-fi for the low low price of whatever you want to pay /nf)

Anons are my primary source of enrichment, so never feel shy about sending one or fifty. I do not care about spam at all, and as a teacher I can confirm that there’s no such thing as a dumb question (or ask in this case). Send me literally anything. Stupid jokes, three page essays, weird takes, memes, way too personal questions, samurai death poetry. Anything. Seriously, I eat that shit up.

If you ever wonder things like “I hope comma isn’t annoyed/upset with me” or “did I piss comma off?” the answer is NO. I find it funny to act annoyed or outraged in response to things, but I will never ever respond to people in genuine anger. If anything actually bothers me on the internet, I simply don’t engage with it. There’s a lot of negativity out here, and I am not going to add to it. I am not annoyed with you, or upset or pissed off or anything else. I promise if I seem angry, it will always be a bit.

And just so you know, I am possibly the most upfront person I know, and I haven’t felt actual embarrassment or shame in about nine years. It’s great for me, but it also means that I will answer pretty much anything you ask with too much honesty. Even if you don’t realize how much you really don’t want an honest answer to something. So askers, beware.

I never know which cw/tw tags people actually use, but if you follow me and there’s a topic you want me to tag so you can avoid it, please just send me an ask or a dm. I never ever want to make people uncomfortable, so I will do my utmost to tag it correctly. It can be anything. You just have to let me know. Current tags: cw abuse: this one encompasses general/sexual adult/childhood abuse and pedophilia, I can’t have a separate tag for anything sexual bc Tumblr will straight up erase the post from existence if I tag it properly

Um... Gender. Grammatically it’s useful to refer to people, but I really don’t care about it, so use whatever pronouns you feel fit the vibes!

Other links you may have been looking for:

join my Discord to meet like-minded goblins!

The post-mortem for Close to the Bone

The inbox lore explained (AKA what the fuck is wrong is wrong with my anons)

[mademoisellesarcasme]

once upon a time i went into a specific ship tag for a specific series that I will not name in the body OR tags of this post lest it show up in searches (but I will put it the comments if anyone asks) and discovered someone writing fanwork that was not only S/he Would Not Fucking Say That but also Wow You Missed The Entire Literal Core Theme of Not Only This Relationship But Also The Whole Fucking Series and if that's not the most indicative example of the reading comprehension on tungle dot hell i don't know what is

[duelistkingdom]

Omgggg you are so right and I think its really annoying when adults who put childrens media down see good childrens media that they enjoy and appreciate and go "aha! This isnt childrens media then" The best example I can think of in regards to this is probably The Little Prince, both the book and the two movies Ive watched. I adore the book, both live action adaptation from 70s and the animated movie that came out in 2015 were lovely, I despise how theyre all touted as "the childrens [piece of media] for adults" like NO. fuck off, its a childrens book written with children in mind by someone who clearly understands children and the movies are the same in that regard, its just a bit unconventional, stop saying shit like that

Also, while reading your post I couldnt help but sortof connect it to another post partially about childrens media that really resonated with me (I would link it but its technically a response to dsmp discoure shit and idk if you'd wanna get involved in all that lol). Basically the OP was responding to people criticizing the storyline specifically on the basis of it having a terrible message by saying that its not a story for children, its for teens and adults, it doesnt need to have a message and its perfectly fine for "morally wrong" things to happen without some kind of condemnation because teens adults are expected to be able to handle that. And I 100% agree with that assessment because, while theres certainly a lot to be said about the dsmp, you cannot say that it was written with children in mind in any way shape or form. And I think the fact that people are complaining about it anyway speaks to this infuriating dichotomy that exists in some people, where they will needlessly put down childrens media because theyre not children and it doesnt really appeal to them while also wanting all media to ultimately be as simplistic and moralistic as childrens media. Granted, that might just be a chronically-online thing but its still insanely annoying, sry for venting like that bye

first of all, i just want to say that i am so very sorry  that it took me a while to reply to this message. there was just so much good stuff in here that i wanted to actually take time to reply to your entire message beyond a few sentences.

anyway, you are completely correct. i have seen a lot of posts on tungl dot hell that criticize people for being grown adults who are “too into” a children’s media. sometimes with weird takes of how long it takes to do taxes or laundry. (side rant: laundry and taxes both take minimal time to do, why is it so common to use those as retorts?) other times it’s like “you should go take care of your kids” and like… caring about the media being given to your kids IS part of taking care of kids. blogging about the core values that are shown in a children’s tv show CAN be part of finding a community with other mothers on shows to watch as a family. genuinely it is very baffling to me to see people think that older women caring about the story in children’s media is so weird. my parents tended to watch our cartoons with us, and got invested in them with us.

even outside the context of parenting, a creator is allowed to watch children’s media specifically to make children’s media. being aware of what is often marketed to kids IS a valuable thing to do. creating for children IS a worthy endeavor. and it is wild to see people treat them as they are not.

but even further, you are correct in your assessment that a lot of people see a well put together media made with children in mind and go “then it mustn't be made for children” which… uh… yes it is. a piece of media being “good” does not prevent it from being for children. i actually saw this with gravity falls & the owl house, both of which aired on a children’s network and was very clearly marketed towards children. but because they are “good”, they suddenly were not for children. it was also the argument bronies made about my little pony - that because it was “good” it was not meant for little girls.

and it is true that people tend to think of “good” media for adults and “bad” media for children. which is deeply unfortunate, because children’s media CAN be good and well written. it can be very smart. as much as i say that bridge to terabithia scarred me, it was definitely written for children in mind. it was a story written to help a child cope with grief and sudden loss, and that’s okay! like, there’s this idea that children’s media MUST be simplistic and MUST be moralistic but… that’s not true either. the goosebumps series and anamorphs series proves kids like gross out horror as much as adults do.

adults tend to think of children as inherently pure and naive and try to preserve that purity like a cut flower pressed between pages. but a child cannot be pressed between pages of a scrapbook, preserved at that age forever. a child will grow up, and books and tv shows that do not treat them like simpletons are valuable. that does not make a smartly written children’s story an adult story. it makes it a very good children’s story.

[condomglitter]

Where'd you disappear to?

hell.

But no, seriously, lmfao. I don't think we have the time, word-count, or space to go over all of it -- so maybe, like, key points? Below the read-more?

TL;DR, though, my life collapsed and I followed it. I'm back, though. Woo.

TRIGGER WARNING: stalking, assault, mental illness, divorce, eating disorder, abortion, sexual assault, abuse, uhhh... trauma.

in no specific order, but like... vaguely chronological, I guess

Got medicated for anxiety & depression

Left my abusive husband.

Moved in with friends

Phone got hacked. Pictures were taken. Pictures were uploaded online. Strangers have indeed seen my butthole. Lots.

Got some stalkers bc of said pictures. Discovered the hacker put a tracking virus in my phone! Started getting people taking pictures of me while I was minding my fucking business in public & posting them on a super fun forum where they TRACKED ME AROUND THE CITY.

Cops didn't help bc ACAB & of course they fucking wouldn't. Sorry. "Can't". Useless.

Got an abortion bc I'd rather die than have my abuser's baby lmao

Started trying to officially divorce previously mentioned abusive husband. Dealing with a lawyer & everything that comes with it as he does his very best to be the biggest asshole on the planet about it.

Relapsed in & out of my ED over the course of the past two/three years. Doing much better now thanks to a strong support network though <3

Lost my jobs bc of pandemic closures. Got more jobs. Quit them bc I no longer tolerate being treated like replaceable garbage. Got fired from one, definitely not for requesting accommodations they swear.

Apartment flooded. Damage is, two years later, still not fixed. I am, as you can imagine, jazzed about this every day (sarcastic)

Got MORE medicated for anxiety & depression

Developed mysterious and chronic pains! Doctors still don't know what's wrong.

Stopped doing much drawing or writing bc I couldn't figure out how to do any of it without suffering lasting consequences due to said pains afterward.

Got professionally diagnosed with an alphabet's worth of disorders

Had several mental breakdowns, clawing rifts in my personal relationships & friendships that I may never repair as a result!

Ended up with 7 cats, somehow.

Also got two bunnies. Ill advised. Regrets are minimal.

Got even more meds for even more problems lmao I feel like the lady in grandma's boy having pills & syrup for breakfast

Got a really good job with our city that I love

Started playing D&D to scratch the rp itch

Crumbled & returned to tungle dot hell to see if I can scrape two years of dust off this shit & get back to business (chaos)

And that??? might be it?? I am so certain I'm missing things, not to mention I intentionally left out some more private details (IMAGINE WHAT THEY ARE IF THIS IS THE PUBLIC LIST. LMAO) but, yeah, that's the gist of it!

[rosesradio]

heyyy, saw your post about ts criticism so I hope it's not too late to rant a little ahah (feel free to ignore it if you've change your mind)

I've recently fallen back into the show after a period of not giving a shit about it (cuz yk, adhd brain be like) and I wish I didn't, with that excuse of an episode we've been given recently (if you haven't seen or heard about it, it's a big ad to promote some plushies disguised as a real episode). I feel like the team doesn't give a fuck about the show anymore, but still wants to make a profit out of it while putting 0 efforts into it, and to see something that was once made with love and care makes me incredibly sad. I wish they could at least tell us "hey don't freak out, the show is gonna be on hiatus for a couple months cuz insert reason" instead of keeping us in the dark like that. Alright sorry for the rant lol, have a nice day <3

you're good, man (man being gender neutral. if you're cool with that? i dunno, anyways--)

i always like answering asks, as long as it's not straight-up hate i'm cool with whatever and my little gerbil brain can think up an answer and have a fun time doing so

so the meat and potatoes. yeah, i saw the ep. i was reluctant to watch it bc i didn't care and was gonna do so when bored, but after looking up some stuff here on tungle dot hell, i decided to give it a shot

yeah ://

it did feel incredibly...what's the word...corporate. like when you see a medicine commercial with a gay couple. and like it's you ! but also...it's just a medicine commercial, so it's whatever

i did use to carry so much weight with every little sanders sides thing to be dropped, but like i answered on a previous ask, i've also learned to just vibe with the fandom, it's less disappointing that way. (not that i'm in the fandom anymore. i'm not lol)

i do wish they would give a little hint, just a smidge. like "projected release date december 2022" (wouldn't that be something lmao). like just a prediction so we aren't in the dark. it makes me wonder about the efficiency of the production team, but based on what we've gotten over the last year (like i answered in the ask before this, the last legitimate plot-y ep of sanders sides came out july 31, 2021, that was working through intrusive thoughts) i would say they...may not be as efficient as maybe they'd like to be. or maybe they're balancing too much with patreon. who's to say

(also i got smth to say about pateron but i'm gonna do that in a separate post)

i think that's it, your rambling skills will never defeat mine etc. feel free to swing by if you ever wanna chat again, until next time bud :)

[rimmothy-timmothy]

@artlesscomedic Here's the full thing I tried to send through the asks. I wanted it to be like, "who's sending these? Oh, you!" but tumblr decided to be a pos and eat half of them.

Anyway, here's my take on the ending of the halloween comic! hope you enjoy!

As Geoff's blood slipped through his own fingers, knife in his stomach much like Gavin had done, the demon blinked before grimacing. This... wasn't according to plan. He shrugged with Geoff's shoulders as blood bubbled up from his- no Geoff's- throad. Oh well. Hm... there were better ways to claim the souls of the most famous crew in all of North America. Instead of making one kill them all, he could torture each and every one of them the same way he had done with the Golden Boy and Geoff.

The demon's red eyes in Geoff's slid over to the door as Jack stumbled in, crying out at seeing Geoff's strength finally giving out. The demon felt his-their- body fall to the ground with a thud, and felt Jack's hand wrap around Geoff, and he sprung forward, wrapping his claws around her heart and taking hold, unnoticed. "Ja-ck," Geoff gurgled, trying to warn her, but he was too late. The light slipped from his eyes, and a sob exploded from Jack's chest and the demon whispered, "This is your fault, and I'll make you do the same to the others." He grabbed her consiousness and dragged her into the dream world that had worked so well to torture the other two, tormenting her with visions of her murdering her crew, her family. This was almost too easy. Jack was harder to crack that Geoff, but surprisingly much easier than Gavin had been. The Golden Boy had taken a lot to break, watching himself murder his entire crew.

Geoff had barely survived watching himself murder Jack and finally broke with The Twins' murders. Jack broke when she saw the pure betrayal in Ryan's eyes, as he walked in on her painting her lips with Matt's blood. A single gunshot to her head silenced her forever. And so the demon hopped from host to host, crew member to crew member, until, at last, there was only Ryan.

"Well," the demon purred, causing Ryan to roll his eyes. "I doubt my normal tactics will work. I have something... much worse, buddy." A little cannibalism never hurt anyone. He made Ryan relive his friends' deaths, their real, tear-stained deaths and the horrors they faced, before the vision-Ryan took the dead bodies into a cellar. Ryan broke as the first mouthful of Gavin's flesh met his tongue. Ryan held a knife up to his eye, growled a broken, feral, "fuck you," before plunging the blade into his own head and dropping like a ton of bricks.

The demon laughed, gathered up his prizes, the ten souls of the Fakes, and took them down to hell with him. As he sunk lower and lower, a vicious gleam in his eye, he felt the souls start to slip from his grasp, straining back towards Life. He had felt this only once before. "Damn it, fuck fuck! How-how are all of you...!" The souls burst from his hands like bullets from a minigun, soaring back to their bodies. The fucking Fakes were somehow all--- Fuck! The demon snarled and hissed and stomped before stalking off, back to the depths of hell.

Gavin awoke first with a painful, tearful gasp. His stomach was on fire, and he sprung up, hands flying to the bleeding wound on his stomach. But the wound had scarred already, leaving nothing but pain, pain, pain in its wake. The others had woken in similar, violent ways, each with tears in their eyes and phantom pains and fears clutching onto them with cold paws.

Everyone had the same thought, that they were cursed with life when their entire crew was gone. They all rushed into the main room only to freeze when tear-stained faces met their own. Sobs, cheers, laughs, and tear-filled screams filled the room as everyone rushed forward to make sure everyone was okay and unharmed, to make sure it was real and not another vision. The Fakes would heal, in time. Not tomorrow or next week, or not even in the next ten years. The nightmares and pains would stay, making nights seem long and hazy panics even longer. Those killed first would take the longest to heal, but it was alright. They had each other. And one thing was for certain: they had bested the Devil at his own game, survived when they shouldn't have, and the would continue to do so.

Why? They were Immortals.

[impossible-rat-babies]

me having to strain to get the cereal box off the top of the fridge bc I’m under five foot seven like: curse my minor coded body :(

[guiltyidealist]

Tumblr.

STOP RECOMMENDING PEOPLE WHO HAVE ME BLOCKED?????

[thelowlysatsuma]

i’m about to crack and finally go look up what the FUCK the magnus archives is about but first: What I Know About TMA As Instructed By Tungle Dot Hell

jonny the sims man:

op’s self-insert

archivist and like. mostly decent at it

ace (ace rights!)

doesn’t believe in the supernatural (despite working at a Supernatural Research Joint) until it kicks down his door and stabs him in the nuts

Too Many Eyes

fucks shit up a lot

has a lovely bf named martin

has been possessed by like?? every Fear Boi(tm) out there??? man dude’s just havin a rough year

Breaking News: Only Sane Man Falls Headfirst Into Insanity, More At Ten

martin blackwood:

lovely boy. cinnamon roll. Protect This Man Or Else

the best goddamn character in the show. Does Not Deserve Anything That Happens To Him

might have murdered somebody???? and definitely forged his employment paperwork bc of Ambiguous Tragic Backstory(tm). seriously what the fuck is this man’s real name

enemies to lovers slow burn 220k w/ jonman

tim:

nice dude, also gets possessed a lot

lowkey a flirt?

also gets shipped w/ martin sometimes idk

sasha:

there’s some SERIOUS other mother shit going on here but idk specifics. i do know that jon fucked this situation up a lot too tho

elias bitchboy:

jon’s “““manager”““ but rlly just the motherfucker who fucked up his shit and did. something. with all the Scary Squad(tm)

also has eye symbolism?? i think he’s a foil to jon???

trash man. absolute garbage boy. feral little bastard. kill this bitch.

runs the magnus institute through tax fraud

peter lukas:

bitchboy’s Equally Terrible Husband

foil to martin??

i think one of them hired someone to kill the other at some point but like both of them knew it and it was just For The Lolz????

im pretty sure his hubby jumped ship at the institute and now he runs the joint but who knows if that’s right at this point

basira:

also works for jon somehow

lovely lady, wears a hijab.

cool wlw honestly i don’t know anything bad about her she sounds great

daisy:

The One Cop We Respect

basira’s gf???? idk man

also possessed by a member of the spooky squad but this time it’s The Hunt (ooh fancy capital letters)

michael:

FuckHands McGee(tm)

anyways are y’all fans alright??? do you need a hug?? i feel like you guys need a hug listen i’m sending y’all virtual hugs stay safe in season 5 friends don’t go too feral i believe in you