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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #peridot

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taurusicorn2400 · 4 years

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Ice skating:

Word count: 612

Can also read on Ao3

"Do you think they'll have my size?"

Clementine, Minerva, and their daughter, Scarlett, are currently going to an ice skating rink for a family day. It had seemed like a miracle that both Clem and Minnie had a day off work at the same time. And that Scarlett didn't have school. So family day.

"Min, you wear a size 10. You'll be fine." Clementine pulls into the parking lot of the rink.

"True. You right."

"I'm always right."

"That you are."

After pulling into a parking space, they get out of the car, helping Scarlett out of her car seat. She jumps to the ground, eager to get to skating.

"You ready to tear up the skating rink Scar?" Minnie grabs the little girl's hand so they can cross the street.

"Yuh huh. I'm going to be the best ice skater ever!"

"High ambition, this one has."

"She gets that from me." Clem takes Scarlett's other hand as they enter the building.

"Hey I can be ambitious."

"Trying to see if you can juggle chainsaws while singing twinkle twinkle little star for our daughter isn't ambition, that's just dangerous."

"You just don't know art when you see it. Right Scar?"

"If I say yes, can I have two scoops of ice cream tonight?" Scarlett looks up at her mother.

"Yes. With sprinkles."

"Then, yes. It was art."

"I cannot believe you just bribed our daughter."

"Got to use what's in your arsenal." The redhead smirks.

"Just for that, you're paying."

Minnie had her shocked pikachu face on as Clementine took her wallet out of her pocket and pays for the skates and time slot. What could she do? That's right, nothing. Because she's whipped as fuck. Also because Clem is right.

Anyway, back to what you're here for. Clementine helps Scarlett put her skates on after she puts her own on. As soon as both laces were tied up, the little girl waddled her way towards the rink.

"Scar wait for one of us to hold you han-"

As soon as the girl stepped onto the rink, she flew backwards on the ice straight onto her butt.

"Oh god are you OK?!" Both parents rushed to the fallen girl, helping her stand, and making sure nothing was broken.

As soon as she was up on her feet, Scarlett lets out a stream of laughs. "Did you see me?! I went flying! That was so fun."

Minnie and Clem both let out sighs of relief as they heard the girl laugh. They each grab one of the girl's hands to keep her upright.

"Yeah we did see. But next time, please don't go without one of us there." The redhead slowly skates forward so Scarlett can get used to moving on skates.

Scarlett stays still as her mothers slowly skate forward, pulling her along. She looks down at the skates, watching as she moves forward.

"Look! I'm doing it, I'm skating!"

"Yeah, you are!"

They skate a few more laps around the rink before sitting down and eating some nachos, or something.

"So, did you have fun?" Clem asked the young girl.

"Yeah, so much fun. Most fun ever!" Scarlett excalms mouth full of food.

"I also had fun." Minnie says, mouth also full of food.

Minnie and Scarlett are so alike, Clem is scared sometimes.

"I'm glad y'all had fun."

"Can we do it again sometime?" Scarlett asks, mouth still full of food.

"Yeah, maybe. And stop talking with your mouth full."

"But mom gets to do it."

"That's because your mom is a giant baby." Clem's statement causes the young girl to laugh.

That got Minnie's attention. "Wha-hey!"

#twdg #twd #twd game #twdg clementine #twdg minnie #twdg minerva #twdg oc #scarlett #ericsonclanchrismaschallenge

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sunsetovergatlon · 4 years

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ALRIGHT, day 2 #nobellweek high-school AU.

Did this stay Nobell? Maybe not. Does it have Nobell? Absolutely. Does it have Osby? Also yes.

Wc: 4,771 (oops)

Dancing Next to You

A football game was the last place Nova wanted to be tonight. It wasn’t even a home game. The fans here were loud, the stands were packed, and our team was full of jerks who thought it was fun to break girls hearts. Why did people care so much about football where there were good sports like MMA and rugby out there?

Yet, here she was. At the football game. Asking herself why she had let Oscar drag her all the way out here.

The two were sitting near the front of the middle set of bleachers which just so happened to be right in front of the cheer squad. Nova rested her elbow on her knee and put her head on her propped fist.

“Dude, lighten up! What’s your problem? We got asked here by Ruby and all you have done is mope,” Oscar said lightly hitting Nova in the leg with his cane.

“Correction, you got invited by Ruby and dragged me along too.”

“Well, sorry for trying to make you have a good time!”

“I have plenty of good times!” Nova shot back straightening back up.

At that moment the team, unbeknownst to Nova, did something good because the stands erupted with noise as everyone clammored to their feet and started cheering. Well, everyone but Nova.

She looked over at the scoreboard and saw the second quarter had just started and decided it would be as good a time as any to go grab a snack. Oscar would be getting hungry soon and she knew that he would rather be hangry than miss one second of watching Ruby, but Nova did not want to deal with a hangry Oscar tonight.

So she stood up and tapped Oscar on the shoulder,

“I’m going to get something to eat. How many things of Nachos do you want?”

“Three,” Oscar said ducking his head around to be sure he got a good view of Ruby.

“Right, four, got it,” Nova said on the brink of a smile.

Oscar beamed up at her, “you know me so well!”

Nova rolled her eyes and then pulled up her hood, making the trek through the crowds down to the sidewalk. A few people bumped into Nova as she tried to snake her way around loiterers close to the field, but she just ignored them and kept walking.

The less people that recognized her, the better.

After a few minutes of walking Nova made it to the snack bar. The line was short and she ended up being only the third person in line. As she walked up to the window Nova noticed a few of the workers staring at her and whispering.

She furrowed her brows and tried her best to ignore them, but she could feel her cheeks turning pink anyway.

“Can I help you?” Nova had been so focused on the two guys in the back she hadn’t even noticed the girl waiting to take her order. She tried to smile, but it looked more like a lopsided grin. The girl behind the counter did not seem impressed.

“Um, I’ll have five orders of nacos, two large cokes, a water, and a bag of skittles, actually make that three bags of skittles.”

The girl aggressively punched something into the register and looked back up, her cold brown eyes and pointed expression boring holes into Nova. Still, she couldn’t help but notice how the girls golden dreadlocks lit up her flawless dark complexion. Even in the horrible stadium lights.

“Twenty dollars is your total. Cash or card,” the cashier spat through clenched teeth.

“Oh, cash,” Nova responded flustered. Why was this girl being so rude and arrogant? Nova had never met her before ever and yet she was acting like somehow Nova had insulted her ancestors by robbing their graves or something.

Nova stepped off to the side to wait for her order and saw that now all the other girls in the booth were stealing glances in her direction and whispering and a few people in the line had started to take notice too.

Part of Nova had hoped that no one would recognize her, but she knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. She wiped her mouth and cheeks just to be sure they were not actually just laughing at her for having something stuck on her face and then pulled her hood down further to cover as much of her as possible while walking toward the fence by the field. Nova didn’t understand how the game worked, nor did she care, but it was the only thing to look at.

“Nova? Nova Artino is that you!”

She internally groaned a little at the thought of having to talk to a fan right now, but slowly Nova turned to the side to see a tall boy with chocolate skin and a giant grin on his face bounding toward her. To Nova’s relief she instantly recognized him as Adrian Everhart, adopted son of two of the biggest names in tech and one of Nova’s favorite people. The two had been close friends since preschool when their respective guardians had them in the same ‘robotics for tots’ program.

“Adrian!” Nova said before she paused a moment, realizing something was different, “you’re wearing a t-shirt!” Nova had always known Adrian to wear long sleeve button downs to cover his tattoos, but now he was just in a plain grey t-shirt. It looked good on him. Like really good. It took the edge off his ever intimidating look and made him look younger maybe? Nova hadn’t ever really noticed before, but he was really handsome

“Yeah I am!” he laughed, running his fingers over one of the forearm tattoos he had.

“You look great,” Nova said smiling and looking at Adrian’s smile that was just wide enough you could see his dimples, “you have no idea how good it is to see a friendly face, but, if you don’t mind my asking, why are you here?”

He kept right on smiling, “I’m just here to help run the snack bar, otherwise I would be home. Oh! And one of my best friends from here at school got roped into being in the marching band show this year, so i’m excited to see that!” He bounced a little in excitement before stopping and lightly punching Nova in the arm, “the real question is what are you doing here? You hate crowds.”

“Oscar dragged me against my will. That’s really cool about,” Nova was cut off by her name being shouted over the noise of the game.

“NOVA ARTINO! Your order is ready!”

Nova looked back over at the snack bar and saw that all of the people in the area had turned their gaze in her direction, except the one girl at the register who was still in a huff.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you are kind of a celebrity now aren’t you?” Adrian laughed. Nova did not.

“I don’t think that I should be,” she quietly spat over her shoulder as she gingerly walked over to grab her food and run away. Being in the spotlight always made Nova uncomfortable so she tended to deny and ignore it, but a gaggle of douches staring at her and bystanders not so secretly snapping pictures for their stories definitely made that really hard. Nova tried to not make eye contact with any of them as she slid her tray of food and drinks off the counter, but foolishly forgot they could still talk to her even if she didn’t look at them. And they did.

“So, Nova! What are you doing here?” the girl by the drinks piped up as she was just about to slip away into the crowd back to Adrian.

“Oh, um, watching the game,” Nova said with a quick smile and tried to turn around and run to a part of the stadium that her name had not been yelled for all to hear.

“Wait! Here, take this too!” A boy leaned out of the window to hand Nova a hot dog.

“Oh thanks, that’s really sweet, but I can’t, I didn’t,” but before she could even reject the offer the girl from the register stormed over pulling the boy inside.

“Narcissa, she has to pay for that.”

“Well, I’ll pay for it for her.”

“Why would you do that! She’s an arrogant jerk that hasn’t done anything for you!”

“Have you seen her work? Just existing is doing something for me!”

The two of them kept arguing and Nova took the opportunity to slip away without causing any more of a scene. Plus the one girl was being really rude and she didn’t feel like dealing with hate comments at the moment.

Nova made her way back over to Adrian who was still waiting by the fence around the field.

“If you got some time, you could come back to the stands with me. I need to get these nachos to Oscar and I’m not sure if I can handle any more of his pining after Ruby by myself,” Nova said as she slid into the open spot next to Adrian.

“Oscar really dragged you here to watch Rubt with him?” he asked slowly.

“Yeah, he’s got it really bad,” Nova responded in a nonchalant tone.

“Well, I guess I don’t have anything else to do!” Adrian smiled as they turned and walked back towards the seats.

They made it back to Oscar in the stands without any more incidents of recognition and settled in for the rest of the game. Apparently Adrian had worked setup and the first quarter and so he was off for the night, but wanted to stay to help clean up after anyway because that’s the kind of person he was. Oscar finally peeled his eyes off Ruby long enough to notice Nova was back with Adrian and Nachos in tow.

“If I wasn’t so in love with someone else right now, I could kiss you,” Oscar jested as he grabbed the tray from Nova’s hands. She just rolled her eyes and settled herself between Oscar and Adrian.

After a while of munching on nachos and skittles Nova pulled out her phone to check and had about 500 new notifications. No doubt new pictures she had been tagged in and a bunch of new messages from people in the area. With a sigh Nova shoved her phone back in its pocket pocket and turned her attention back to my recently acquired snack.

Nova had just taken a bite of the glorious golden gooey goodness when Oscar elbowed her in the ribs,

“We would love to come, right Nova?” he said, glaring at her for not paying attention to their conversation.

“Come where?” Nova spit out through my mouthful of nachos.

“To the 5th quarter tonight at Narcissa’s house! When do we ever get to hang out, no pressure? Plus Oscar could invite Ruby too,” Adrian said staring at Nova with the biggest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen a teenage boy manage to conjure up. Oscar was staring at her with the ‘if you say no I will kill you’ look, and between the two of them it didn’t seem like going home after the game was in the cards this time.

“Yeah I guess we can go for a bit.”

Not one fiber of Nova’s being wanted to go anywhere near a party at Narcissa’s house, who she assumed was the boy who had tried to give her the hot dog earlier, but Nova was a push over. So now she was stuck.

Half-time was finally upon them and Nova was actually interested to see the marching band show. Adrian said that his friend from school was in it which meant that Nova might actually get to see something worthwhile tonight and the trip wouldn’t be a total waste after all!

The band got busy setting the pit and then scurrying to their places around the field. They were actually in a really good spot to see, which made it easy for Nova to find where the colorguard was standing and the other dancers with them. The costumes were well designed with shimmering colors to catch the eye and had great freedom of movement. Then Nova noticed who was actually in the costumes, the guy and one of the girls Nova had never met, but the third she recognized as the girl from the cash register. The girl who had stared daggers into Nova’s very soul.

She could barely hear Oscar and Adrian chatting as she zeroed in on the girl. Noticing things that she had not earlier when all Nova could focus on was her big dark brown eyes. She had her blond dreadlocks pulled back in a bun and beautiful dark skin tone. Her curves were deep and her hips rounded perfectly.

As soon as the show started Nova couldn’t take her eyes off of the girl. The way she moved was effortless and beautiful. She had so much passion for her craft in every little moment; from jaw dropping tricks to the way she moved her hand to continue a line. It was mesmerizing.

As the show moved forward there was a partner routine with her and the guy who was there and it almost made Nova laugh. He moved like an elephant compared to her and when he did any sort of lift or trick there was no sign of anything but exhaustion on his face. Despite how awful he was, it still made something bubble up inside Nova every time he touched the other girl. She deserved a better partner.

They moved on from that awful romance section finally and shortly the program came to a close. Once the girl had cleared the field Nova blinked a few times and looked over at Oscar and Adrian who were both staring right at her.

“Um, can I help you?” she questioned at their wide-eyed faces.

“What’s wrong with your face?” Oscar asked her point blank. He had always been rather blunt, but it was still rude.

“What do you mean? My face is fine! Unless my blue eyes magically turned brown. Which is unlikely,” Nova shot back.

“Nova, you were glued to the field that entire time with your mouth open,” Adrian clarified for me.

“Oh, I, um, well,” she really didn’t have any idea what to say, which wasn’t a new thing, but she was beyond flustered at the moment.

“Yeah, your face is bright red my dude, did you like something you saw out there?” Oscar wiggled his eyebrows at Nova and her heart dropped into her feet.t.

“Of course I did! I love watching… um, dancing.” Nova’s lie was not particularly convincing and they all knew it, but thankfully neither of them questioned her anymore.

The next two quarters came and went and Nova could hear Adrian and Oscar chatting away beside her the entire time.

After most of the crowds left, Adrian went to help with clean-up telling us to meet him at the back gate in half an hour so we could all walk over together, Oscar went down to invite Ruby and Nova was alone. Technically she could have gone with either of them, but a little bit of quiet would be good for her. Nova had to get that girl out of her head and then move on with her life.

Her plans were far less successful than she had hoped and the more she tried to forget the girl and her perfect performance the less Nova actually forgot her. Finally Oscar came back with Ruby tagging along behind him and Nova couldn’t have been happier for the distraction.

“Hey Ruby! Great job out there tonight! Way to cheer us to victory,” Nova said, standing to give the black and white haired girl a hug.

“Thanks Nova! And thanks for coming too. I know Oscar dragged you, but it was still nice of you to show up,” Ruby replied with a smile.

“Well enough standing around here! We have a party to get to!” Oscar practically yelled at the two of them.

Nova took a moment to look down at her watch and realized it was three minutes till they were supposed to be meeting Adrian.

“Come on, we are gonna be late,” Nova grumbled as she started to walk.

They met up with Adrian soon after and all walked over to Narcissa’s house together which was a total of ten steps behind the field. There was already music blaring and the back gate was open so it was pretty hard to miss.

This was not Nova’s cup of tea. In fact she would have much rather been at home in the quiet winding down for the night with a computer on her lap and a hot cup of tea in her hands. Nothing could soothe the soul like hot tea. Unfortunately for her there was no tea and no quiet in sight.

Adrian led the way through the crowded house to the less crowded kitchen where there were drinks and snacks scattered about. Nova wasn’t hungry and she didn’t drink, but also didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb so she grabbed a cup and filled it up with water while everyone else was busy pouring their own drinks. Oscar and Ruby both went for some sort of beer Nova wasn’t familiar with and giggled together while they started their first round. Adrian went the classy route and poured some cheep wine into a red solo cup

They all bounded off into the distance to play beer pong or something of the sort and Nova stayed planted in the kitchen. People came and went, most too far gone already to recognize her thankfully. That was until Narcissa turned up.

"Nova? Is that you?" She squeaked in unbelief.

"In the flesh," Nova grumbled back, shoving her hands in my pockets. Narcissa’s eyes lit up like the fourth of July and she scurred closer.

"I'm your biggest fan! I can't believe you are actually here! In my house! At my party!"

"Yep. Here I am," Nova said and smiled. Her Aunty Honey would never let her out ever again if she let down a fan and so Nova had learned to fake it rather well.

"Wow. I need a drink this can't be happening," and with that Narcissa shuffled off in a stunned stooper, filling up her cup on the way out. What an odd girl.

After she left, a very drunk Oscar and Ruby and an only slightly tipsy Adrian came stumbling back. Oscar had one arm hugging Ruby’s waist tight against his side and the other dragging his cane as if it was made of lead.

“Hey Nova, wanna come dance with us?” Adrian asked.

“Yeah, that actually sounds really nice,” Nova murmured as she pulled off her hoodie. The four of them went back towards the backyard and honestly Nova was a little excited. She loved dancing. The way the music washed over a person and you could just move with it. No steps, no errors, no rules. Just you and the music.

They made it back outside and realized it was almost pitch black now that the floodlights on the field had been switched off. Nova could see general movement and the ground, but that was about it. Something about it made her stomach tighten with excitement, the thrill of dancing in the dark. No one was watching. No one even could watch.

As soon as a new song started so did Nova. The beat was so strong she could feel it in her chest and she lost herself to the movement. Two songs, maybe three, passed and Nova was in her own world until she bumped into someone. Little did she know then that nothing would ever be the same after this moment. Nova had no idea who it was, but right then it didn’t matter. They were dancing.

They moved in perfect harmony with body pressed to body. It felt like a lifetime flashed through Nova’s mind; nothing else mattered but the two of them. Her hands snaked under Nova’s shirt and she didn't even try to stop it. Every time she touched Nova’s skin it sent electricity up and down her entire body and drove even more passion into their shared ecstasy. Nova longed to find her lips and press them against her own, but she held herself back finding contentment in the other girls soft skin under her fingertips. The other girl did not find the same contentment. Before Nova could even tell what was happening, she felt warm lips on her own and the world felt like it stopped. Electricity passed through them as they fought for power, hungered for more, and it was driving Nova crazy.

The ability to let go of the pressure of being Nova Artino and dive into this feeling of pure freedom and raw lust was… exhilarating. She had completely forgotten about her frustration of having to come to this party in the first place when a voice called from the back door, “Hey Y’all! Time for truth or dare in the living room!”

The trance she had been in was quickly broken as the music was suddenly turned down and the back porch light was flipped on. Nova froze as she saw for the first time her partner. It was her. Like her.

Nova’s heart skipped a beat as the girl’s hands dropped from their place on Nova’s hips. The look of pure hatred that she had given Nova earlier plastered itself back onto her face.

“It’s you?” the girl spat, backing away from Nova.

“Yes?” Nova squeaked back, not sure what to do.

“You… you stay away from me! Everyone else may have forgotten what your family did, but I won’t. I will never forget the destruction of innocent lives. I. Hate. You. Never touch me again.” and with that the other girl turned on her heels and marched into the house.

Nova stood there dumbfounded. Unable to make her legs move. Did that girl really blame Nova for her uncle’s mistakes? Were there still people who were hurting over his actions? He was gone now… forever, and yet his actions still haunted Nova, trapping her in an inescapable bubble.

“Nova?” she heard Adrian’s voice call from the back door, “are you okay?”

She looked up to see his face wrought with confusion, but all she could think to say did not answer his question at all.

“What’s that girl with the golden dreadlocks name?”

“Danna,” he said with a confused tone, “Danna Bell.”

“Oh,” Nova whispered as she sank to the ground.

“Okay, enough of this,” Adrian declared as he walked over and sat next to her, “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

Nova couldn’t bring herself to repeat what Danna had said to her. Not yet. Not here. So instead she just slumped over onto Adrian’s chest, staring blankly into the night. Nova had thought that she was strong enough to take the hate comments by now, but for some reason they stung even more coming from Danna. Nova had felt electric when they were together. Her Aunt Honey had always told her that ‘the flame burns the one who holds onto it as it reaches the end of its life and then there is nothing left but you, alone, burnt, standing in a pile of ashes’ but Nova had never really understood what that meant until then. Her mind flashed with memories of the night that only served to deepen her wounds. So she hadn’t been in love with Danna or anything, they had not even spoken really before, but they had still shared a moment of passion and that made the words cut Nova even deeper.

Nova realized that since Adrian had sat down he hadn’t said anything else. He didn’t push her, or hurry her, or move her, Adrian just sat there with Nova in her hurt. They must have stayed there for at least an before Nova finally found the gumption to whisper the words she had been holding onto, “I danced with Danna all night, but as soon as the lights turned on she blindsided me with blame for what my uncle did and left.”

Nova felt Adrian’s steady breathing catch as she finally managed to get the words out. She knew how angry people who still looked down on Nova for her uncle’s choices made him, and yet it still lit a little spark of joy in her. He had been there for her through everything and never backed down from telling someone to shove off when they accosted her. From when the truth came out about her uncle and her world came crashing down, to when she finally rebuilt everything her father had worked so hard to create and the world looked at in her awe.

“Well then Danna is an idiot,” Adrian replied frankly before taking a deep breath and continuing, “Nova, you are the strongest, smartest, most resilient person I have ever known. Anyone who can’t see past your family’s mistakes is a fool missing out on someone who could change their life forever. I know you know how I feel about all of that, but you still deserve so much more than that. You are incredible Nova and anyone who passes up the opportunity to see that is a fool.”

At that, Nova sat up and stared at her best friend. He had never said anything like that to her before.

“Do you mean that?” she asked quietly, thanking the stars that it was still dark enough outside to cover her blush.

“Of course I do,” Adrian said lifting a hand and brushing a stray hair from Nova’s face, “you are the most important person to me and anyone who hurts you is an enemy of mine.” Her heart started to beat faster as he moved closer. Had Adrian always been this handsome? Had his lips always looked this inviting?

As they got close enough for their foreheads to touch Nova paused, looking into Adrians deep brown eyes for a moment before closing the gap between their lips. In that moment Nova felt like she was home. This kiss was gentle and knowing. It was a lifetime of memories tied up in a breathless moment. Adrian’s lips were soft and careful, soaking up her fears and letting her melt into the comfort of this intimate closeness. She felt his hand wrap around her waist as she draped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. She wanted more of him. Of the safety that his arms around her body gave and of the slowly rising heat between them, but to her surprise Adrian pulled back.

“Is something wrong?” Nova questioned, a little fearful of what his answer might be.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Adrian smiled at her, “I just don’t know if now is the right time.”

Nova rocked back onto her heels and really took in Adrian’s face. He was right. Nova was taking advantage of him to make herself feel better and they both knew it.

“Oh, yeah, maybe you’re right,” Nova said before they dropped into an awkward silence. They sat just staring at each other for an unbearably long time before Adrian broke the silence.

“I think we should probably get the other two and go. It’s late and you have had a long evening. I’ll grab our things and Oscar and Ruby and we can head out.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Nova responded as Adrian stood up and cast one more look at her before walking inside.

Nova felt like she had been steamrolled and then hung on a clothesline to dry. The difference between the moment she had shared with Danna and the one with Adrian was almost impossible to believe. One was so impersonal and filled with lust, while the other was deeply knowing and built on trust. Nova felt somehow both ripped apart and sewn back together simultaneously. She knew it was going to be a rough path for her from here on out considering her relationship with Adrian could never go back to how it was before... and yet that was okay with her. She knew that he was the right choice. Adrian had always been the one. She had wanted more from him tonight and felt completely comfortable and safe with him, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she couldn’t shake the feeling of Danna’s hands on her skin.

#turnsouttagsaresupposetobefunny?#oops #failedthat #whydidthisturnnodrianyoumayask #itjustdid #dont@me #ordo #🤷‍♀️#nobellweek #nodrianalso #OSBY #renegades

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rhabakoli · 5 years

Text

Infinite White - 9

previous chapters here

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @i-am-always-famished @marauderskeeper @superwolfchild-fan @m00nlightdelights @cgn-99 @alicedopey @alwaysadreamingoptimist @atlas-of-the-world @finnickfoxes @rmwest9

He stood in front of the mirror, pulling at his shirt, feeling ridiculous and not comfortable at all. “Are you okay?” Ragnar jumped, heart tripling its efforts. “Can you knock?” Aslaug stood behind him, arms crossed and looked him up and down. Bear sat to her feet, big, pink tongue lolling out of his mouth. She was wearing a gorgeous green knit-sweater. He didn’t get it. “How do you women always look so effortlessly flawless?” “Because we are.” She came closer and picked a hair from his shoulder. “What has you all worried?”

“I’m not worried.” He didn’t have to look at her to know the face she was making. “You’re standing in front of the mirror, apparently going through your whole closet, for a family dinner? There’s something going on.” She gestured towards his bed, covered in shirts and sweaters and dress shirts he’d have to iron once again. “There’s not.” “Oh.” Aslaug grinned, mischievous smirk on her face. “Fenja’s coming?” “Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?” Ragnar knew she wouldn’t buy it. He still tried the path of denial. “Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.” She turned, shoved at his clothes to make some place for herself on his bed. “So, is it a crush, a squish, do you want to marry her and raise a bunch of cats?” “What the hell is a squish?” “A platonic crush. Like, you want to be friends really bad, etcetera.” Ragnar made an understanding sound and grabbed a dark grey long sleeve. “You’re going to wear that, it looks nice.” His sisters tone didn’t allow for objection. Bear barked at him, tail wagging wildly. Ragnar looked between them and shrugged. “If you say so.”

Fenja stood before her closet, hands on her hips and deep frown on her face. Maeve was watching her from her bed, concerned about the unmoving state of her friend. “Are you okay?” “No. What do I wear? “ “What’s the plan?” Maeve knew that Gala was Ragnars aunt, and she knew that she wanted to meet her friend. She hasn’t been at the lecture, but the breathless, borderline hysteric phone call was telling enough. “Family dinner.” “Oh wow. Sounds… a lot?” Fenja waved a hand through the air, a dismissive motion. “Nah, they are cool. It’s just… I’ve met Bree, and she’s awesome. But not Gala. And I am nervous. I mean, Gala Ragnarsson, for fucks sake!” “She’ll will love you. I mean, they basically adopted you already, didn’t they?” “Bjorn welcomed me to the family, if that’s what you mean.” Maeve grinned, and shook her head slightly. “Totally. That’s totally what I mean. Also, just call Ragnar, he’ll help, I’m sure.”

Ragnar’s phone rang, sending him into a frenzy. It was buried somewhere under his pillows, and he threw them off the bed in rapid succession, to get to it. “Fenja, if you call to cancel, we have a problem.” “Not cancelling, still having a problem.” “Why, what’s up?” “I don’t know what to wear.” He stopped pacing, thinking he misheard. “What?” “I don’t know, should I wear something fancy, is it going to be more casual?” “Fenja-” “I slept through the last friday night dinner, I’d be the last one to know about any dress codes.” “Fenja-” “Also, your aunt? I don’t want her first impression to be that I am a slob. Or a wannabe rich trust fund kid that wears a robe for a casual dinner with family.” “Fenja-” “Granted, not my family, but whatever. Same principle:” She was unstoppable. She was ranting, going on about her dress choices, what felt okay, and what felt over the top to her. “Will there be any red sauce?” “I don’t know, I don’t think so. Why?” “I’ll not wear any white or light colors then.” Ragnar just sat, elbows on his knees and listened, answering questions on the odd occasions she let him speak. “I’m coming to pick you up, alright? I’ll be there in half an hour.” “Don't expect me to be dressed by then.”

Maeve snorted at her roomies words. “Poor fool will imagine you in your underwear.” “Oh shut up, he won't.”

True to her words, she wasn't dressed, when he arrived. Their portier let him up, and Maeve opened the door for him. “Hi, giant. How's life?” “Exciting, thank you. And you?” “Oh, lot's of brain and body exertion. But I've got just one exam left. I'm almost free.” Ragnar laughed at her little happy dance and looked around the dorm room. “Where's Fenja?” “Taking a shower.” Maeve sat down cross-legged on her bed and gestured Ragnar to do the same. He did, leaning back against the wall, left hand rubbing over his knee as he took in Fenja’s side of the room. Her desk was laden with papers, her laptop, pens strewn everywhere. The shelf above her desk was almost giving out with the amount of books resting there. They were everywhere. Under her bed, on her closet, she even used a tower of them as nightstand. “You'll need to get a bigger room, if she continues buying books.” Maeve chuckled, sorting through the papers in her lap. “No kidding. I have to thank you for letting her go wild in your library, by the way. Keeps her from buying.” “My pleasure. That way I can at at least try and feed her healthy meals.” She looked up, amused. “You noticed, eh?” He nodded. “She polishes off a family bag of nachos like it's a light snack.” “Oh, you haven't seen her chips eating habits yet.” At his questioning expression, she grinned. “Cream cheese and vinegar chips.” “I'm friends with a monster.” “I feel like I should have warned you, but you seemed quite stubborn when you were chasing after Fenja, so I didn't.” “I didn't chase after Fenja?” His tone was so adorably confused, she almost believed him. “Sure you didn't.” Then she threw her papers at him. “Test me, I need to know this in my sleep.”

Fenja barged in, door banging against the wall, her hands in her unruly hair, trying to tame it as she's holding her towel in her mouth, a crazed look in her eyes. When she found her friends on Maeves bed, she froze. “Hi?” Ragnar wriggled his fingers at her and continued to question Maeve about different, commonly occuring sport injuries and their causes and treatments. Fenja gave up on her hair, took the towel out her mouth and threw it on her bed. “What you doing?” “He's testing my knowledge for this godforsaken exam I have.” Maeve pointed at her, eyes all squinty, accusing tone in her voice: “How dare you keep such an amazing study buddy for yourself?” Fenja frowned. “I did ask you multiple times to join us-” “I feel betrayed!” “It was your own choice!” “You TRAITOR!”, She screeched, at the top of her lungs. Fenja rolled her eyes and gave up. Instead she turned her attention to Ragnar, who was looking comically big on their tiny dorm beds, and who had a weird mix of amusement and desperation on his face. “This okay?” He blinked a couple times, clueless, like a little racoon dropping its cotton candy into a puddle. When he didn't answer, Fenja repeated her question, while waving her hand up and down in front of her body. She was wearing jeans, a thin, knitted sweater, oxfords. “Oh, uh, yeah, great.” He cleared his throat, smiled at her. “Okay then. Let’s go.” She took her bag, and went out the door, calling back to Maeve. “Bye, idiot!”

“Hey, Mum.” Queenie looked up, at her youngest standing in the kitchen. “Hey, Sweetie. Everything alright?” “Yeah, they’re here.” She rolled her eyes. “They are so disgustingly cute, I swear I’m gonna barf. And they don’t even have a clue.” Ingrids mother laughed at her daughters exasperated tone. “How’s Ginger, by the way?” Instantly, Ingrid became pouty and defiant. “That’s completely different.” “Is it?” “Yes. She’s my actual girlfriend, mom.” Ingrid raised her chin, giving her mother a playful stinky eye. “And she’s fine. Her internship is going great and she misses me.” “I’m sure. Now take the salads and put them on the table, please.”

Dinner was going great. They were all here, Bear was snoozing under the table and warming their feet, their bellies were full and Ragnar even considered opening a button. He shouldn’t have eaten that second bowl of potato salad, he’d known it. Next to him was Fenja, deeply immersed in a conversation with his aunt, who willingly answered all her questions and then proceeded to squeeze all her favourite books and authors out of his friend. Not that she was troubled by it, quite the opposite. He was fairly sure the two of them would vanish into the library at some point that evening. A hand touched his shoulder, and he turned to his right, towards Aslaug. “You gonna tell her?” “What?” “That you’re in puppy love with her?” Ragnar tensed. Aslaug should be very happy about her superior whispering abilities, otherwise she’d be dead meat. “What are you talking about?” “Oh, again?” She flicked his ear. “Just do it, oh god.” “No. And I won’t talk about this anymore.”

Their mother rose, hand clutched in her husbands, and asked for attention. “Seeing, as all the people we love and cherish are here tonight, we don’t want to wait any longer with this. Also, the cake needs another minute.” Forgotten was Ragnars crush. This sounded important and probably life changing. Ivar smiled sweetly up at his wife, kissing her hand and pressing the back of it against his cheek, in silent support. Fenja shrinked in her seat, feeling overwhelmed and out of place by Queenies words, but Ragnar wasn’t having it. He seeked out her hand and intertwined their fingers, stroking over the back of her hand, winking at her. “This hasn’t been planned, we’d not have waited 15 years if it was.” Fenjas eyebrows shot up, a suspicion already forming. Queenie stole a last look at her husband, then looked at her family. “I am pregnant.” It was silent. Dead silent. And then, suddenly, Bjorn started laughing, booming and happy. Queenie couldn’t even react, before he had her in a hug, raised off the floor and pressed against his chest. After that, all hell broke loose. The children collectively lost their minds. Ragnar and Aslaug had dark flashbacks, Ingrid was mostly grimassing because ‘oh my god, my parents had sex.’

Questions were thrown around, and Queenie just laughed, while Ivar hissed at his brothers not to be so rough with her. “How far along are you?” Bree hugged her best friend, kissed her cheek. “3 months. I didn’t want to tell you too soon, in case something happens.” “Oh, I am sure you’ll be fine. Ivar slapped Ubbe, probably because he asked an inappropriate question. Fenja would never get that creepy face he’d made out of her head. Good thing he wasn’t her professor at school. It all was very familiar and cozy, the atmosphere high strung with anticipation and happiness. Ragnar looked around. His sisters were already picking out baby shower decoration, his aunts were in it as well, his uncles were teasing the future parents. Fenja was next to them, getting roped into a hug by his mom - he hadn’t even noticed her going over -, and then leaving the room. She was all smiley and happy towards his parents, but as soon as no one could see her face, it got all clouded and dark.

Concerned, he followed her out, catching her out in the foyer. He stopped her with a hand on her elbow, pulling her gently to a halt. “You okay there?” “Yes.” She didn’t look up at him, angled her face down, keeping him from seeing the truth. Or so she thought. “Mhm.” He was sceptical. “I don’t appreciate being lied to.” She just shrugged, so he took matters into his own hands and guided her into his room. Maybe she’d say more behind closed doors. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” She was standing there, right in his room, hugging herself and looking… scared. “Fenja, please. I can see that something is wrong.” He sat on his bed, leaning forward and touching her arm. “This evening is not about me, please, can we not do this right now?” She swallowed, voice breaking. Ragnar sighed. Stubborn girl. “Sure thing, princess.” So he got up again, hand not leaving her arm. “Need a hug?”

An hour after receiving the news and cake, Ingrid whipped out Cards Against Humanity, since most of them refused to play UNO. Not when there was still cake around. Ragnar felt the strong need to give some money and his help to charities, and Bree even went so far as to get up, go over to the window ‘looking for a shred of humanity’. It was brutal. Fenja and Gala were off to the side sitting sideways and turned towards each other on the couch, with Hvitserk leaning on Gala’s back like the big manchild he was. They seemed to enjoy themselves, the dark look on his friends face was gone for now. He wondered what brought that mood swing on. After Bree had laid down a particularly vile card, Ragnar decided to step away and instead joined the unofficial book club on the couch. “How’s it going?” “I offered her an internship with the YWA.”, said Gala. Ragnar almost choked on air, definitely not having expected that. “What?” “In case she doesn’t get accepted as a writer. It’s good to have options.” She patted Fenjas hand. “There’ll still be a whole process, but I can open some doors.” Fenja was speechless, barely managed to nod. Gala just smiled brightly. “Thought so. And now please excuse us, I think it’s past his bedtime.” Hvitserk whined in protest, absolutely, completely proving his wife’s point.

Part 10

#iw #infinite white #Ivars kids #A Dreamwritesimagines Production #faint of heart AU #foh

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thegoodhausfrau · 5 years

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Hi, how has your week- weekend been ....? I hope your doing well, and how did your holiday go it looked amazing I hope you listened to some good tunes and eat some lovely food, cocktails 🍹 and keep doing what your doing cause it looks good and that who you are😊

My week was good. Work wasn’t too bad after my family left, I’ve had some more good meals, and I had a two day weekend to sit around doing nothing. That’s a lie, I cleaned my pantry up and made a tasty pot roast. But I also yes listened to a bunch of good music and watching some shows I’ve been meaning to like the Body Count set from Wacken and the show The Devil Next Door. Having my family come last week means I got to try a bunch of new restaurants, have some old favorites they hadn't tried yet, and I got to go swimming means so I have a lot of pics to go through and to work on from that but I’m lazy and will postpone work for fun anytime. Basically I just use vacation times as a totally hedonistic time and this list looks good but I still felt like it wasn’t enough. “Two meals a day” people kill me.

Food Eaten- poke, chicken wings, fries, ice cream cookie sandwich, steak & lobster eggs benedict, smoked salmon eggs benedict, tropical pancakes, fish tacos, queso dip, pizza, cannoli, an eclair, 5 cupcakes, a lemon tart, s'mores custard, cheeseburgers, ice cream, bbq combo of tri-tip, pulled pork, and ribs, scalloped potatoes, a nacho burger, chocolate custard, beef tamales and enchiladas.

Beverages- Coconut cocktail, painkiller cocktail, a giant margarita, an orangey blended drink, fancy pants strawberry milk, and a frozen strawberry margarita.

Since I also went out for other more amazing tacos, good sliders, and decent pizza since they left, I’ve just been having a good food week. Tasty bagels for breakfast, ice cream, that pot roast etc. Nobody from Tumblr sent me any recipes like I asked yet so that’s a bit sad, but maybe that’ll happen later. People have to have recipes!

#ask me #forever eating

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awkward-radar-tech · 6 years

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Duck Tape Party

Summary: You spend your evening at your secretly fun-loving boyfriend’s bar, enjoying the snacks and drinks he brings to you and watching the way he works.

Prompt from @bad--bad--man: Clyde and Reader enjoying a night at the bar. Reader is happy to watch Clyde work and he fills her glass with beer. Please and thank you!

A/N: My first Clyde fic where reader isn’t depressed! There are still nachos and onion rings involved though. And a headcannon Marisol and I talked about once a while ago.

Every Thursday Clyde knew he could count on one patron to visit Duck Tape and sit at the bar the whole time. Thursdays weren't the busiest nights, but they weren't the slowest either, so he knew the bar wouldn't be empty, but having the one patron visit always brightened his day.

Five minutes after the bar opened, you stepped through the door and took your usual seat at the bar, where a plate of nachos already sat along with a glass of water. You couldn't see Clyde anywhere, but he was probably in the back grabbing a few more things. And then there was one large hand covering your eyes.

A strained, unnaturally high voice spoke out, “Guess who?”

You smiled, “Hmmm, Mothman?”

This time the voice returned to the one you had ingrained in your mind, “No, I wish though. Try again.”

“Hmm, okay, I think I got it this time. Is it my amazingly handsome boyfriend who is part Sasquatch but is able to quietly sneak across a creaky floor?”

He spun you around on the bar stool, “The one and only!”

You stood up and gave him a hug and a kiss, “One day it actually is gonna be Mothman, I'm sure of it. But until then, I enjoy it being you. Also, it is unfair you can use just one hand to completely cover my eyes,” you grab his hand and kiss his fingers, “although I guess if you used both it would be a dead giveaway.”

“Like the one hand isn't when there is only one other person in the bar.”

“Stop being so technical Clyde.”

He smiled, “I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too.”

He kissed you once more and rounded the bar, “Usual to drink my dear?”

“Yes please.”

He reached into the small freezer and grabbed out a glass and filled it with your favorite beer and set it next to you glass of water. Every Thursday he keeps a few glasses in the freezer since he knows you like your beer really cold. He picked off some nachos, causing you to scoff and him to claim it was the boyfriend tax. You both laughed, and Clyde continued to make sure everything was in the right place behind the bar.

After a few minutes more people began to enter the bar, drawing Clyde’s attention to them. You just sat there, watching him work while you enjoyed the nachos and drinks in front of you.

There was something about watching the methodical way Clyde moved while making and pouring drinks that pleased and calmed you. What you enjoyed the most was when somebody ordered a shaken drink, especially when it was a new customer who didn't believe he could make it. Clyde may be missing part of an arm, but he doesn't let that stop him from doing what he wants. He has told you there were many lost drinks when he was practicing, but most of those were just water since he knew he would mess up, but now he is a pro. Somebody must have ordered some food since he walked into the kitchen. He came back out with a bowl of peanuts and a plate of fries and onion rings. The bowl was set in front of one of his regulars, and then he stopped at the taps filling up a new frozen glass with beer and carried both to you. You leaned over and grabbed the plate off of his arm where it was part balancing and part resting against his chest.

He set down the glass, “Saw you needed a refill on snacks and drinks. I'll get you more water in a second. Is there anything else my favorite regular needs?”

You smiled at him, “A kiss would be nice.”

He walked around the corner of the bar, you chose this spot for a reason, and held your cheek while he gave you a short and sweet kiss, “Anything else darling?”

“Hmm, just one question. How do you expect me to eat all this after I just had a giant plate of nachos?”

“I don't, some of those are for me.” He grabbed a few fries and put then in his mouth as he rounded the bar, then grabbed the empty glass and plate and took them to the washing area in the back. When he came back out he refilled your water cup and took an onion ring before walking off to check on everybody else. After he made his rounds and saw that everybody was satisfied he came over and talked with you for a bit, eating more from the plate, until another customer walked in.

A few more customers walked in while he was serving the first, and checking the time it was the beginning of the after dinner rush. Although rush wasn't exactly the right word for it on a Thursday, probably only 8-12 come in between after dinner and closing normally. Friday has a larger crowd, which is why Clyde hired a few more bartenders for weekends, besides the fact that he could also have a night or two off to spend with you without having to close the bar.

With more patrons wanting drinks, you were pleased to watch Clyde do what he enjoys. You picked away at what Clyde left of the fries and onion rings, sipping your beer and water, thinking about how much you loved him. Clyde was the first person you really talked to after moving into town, you found Duck Tape while driving around town, exploring what it had to offer, and decided to visit that evening, a Thursday. You didn't sit where you sat now, you sat in the middle of the long stretch of bar, and ordered your favorite beer and a plate of nachos. The bar was empty at that time, so Clyde decided to talk with you. He asked how you found yourself at Duck Tape of all places, and when you explained you were new in town and just drove around and this caught your eye, he laughed. He remarked something about how could this ordinary place catch your eye, that there wasn't anything special about it to which you said the name seemed interesting, and that a one handed bartender was quite extraordinary. Then a lady walked in and Clyde came around to give her a hug and she kissed his cheek, and you felt disappointed for some reason. Clyde then introduced you to Mellie, his sister, who was hair stylist, and you no longer felt disappointed. Mellie sat and chatted with you while Clyde helped the customers coming in. You stayed until closing, and before you left Clyde timidly asked if you would like his number, so then you had somebody in town to contact in case of an emergency, just in case. You gladly exchanged numbers and you went home feeling happy you made two friends, and found a salon to go to. The next day Clyde called you and asked if you would like him to give you a tour of town, and you accepted while also joking about the number only being for emergencies. A few weeks later when you showed up to the bar Clyde had a bouquet of flowers for you, and not a just a generic pre-made bouquet from a grocery store or florist, it had to be custom made. Nervously, he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you said yes. Later he revealed that he thought generic bouquets couldn't compare to your beauty so he went to a florist Mellie recommended and described the type of beauty he wanted to bouquet to embody, and that somehow the florist understood and captured his thoughts perfectly.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by a cold glass being pressed to your cheek. You glared at Clyde because now your cheek felt weird, and he just laughed.

“Darlin, I'm closing up the bar, everybody has left. Did you enjoy your deep thoughts?”

“I did indeed. Do you need any help?”

You knew the answer was no, he could do it by himself, but you asked anyways.

He hummed in thought, “Actually, tonight I do. There is a bin with rags in it by the dishwasher, could you take them out to my truck, I need to wash them tomorrow.”

You did as asked even though you thought it was an odd request, and as you were walking out Clyde told you it was unlocked. As you were placing the bin in the truck you heard the door open and close, but thought nothing of it until you turned around and found yourself sprayed with silly string.

“Hey, not fair when I'm not armed!”

“Look under the rags.”

Lifting a few up you found two cans of silly string and immediately grabbed them. You spun around to find Clyde missing. Stalking around the parking lot, you spotted him by your car and sprinted after him. The two of you chased each other around until the cans were empty, and then sat in the bed of his truck laughing, picking off all the string, and sharing plenty of kisses. He told you the bar was all locked up for the night and he drove behind you on the way back to his trailer. When he carried you into his home you realized the fun for the night was just beginning, good thing you had Fridays off.

#clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan/reader #clyde logan/ you #a-r-t creation #kylo ren/ reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/ you #kylo ren x reader

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thatwinchesterfever · 6 years

Text

Once Upon A... Whatever (Part 4)

Pairing: Dean x Reader (Female)

Summary: Cinderella AU The Reader is a peasant, always getting into trouble on the streets of Lawrence. The Captain of the King’s Guard has had enough of her ways and forces her to work in the castle for the royal family, the Winchesters. The Reader reluctantly agrees to work in the palace despite her dislike for the royals. Little does she know how much of a ride she’s in for, when she mistakenly bitches out the green-eyed Prince, Dean.

Word Count: 2,176

Warning: Language

Author’s Note: After taking a break for a few years, I’m happy to finally put out Part 4 of this series. Thank you to the people who have been waiting for this! We finally get to meet our other lovely Winchester, Prince Sam. Enjoy :) Leave me comments, honest opinions, and a thumbs up if you like anything you read :)

Check out Part 3 here if you haven’t read it already!

Working in the palace was… strange. You had only been working there for 3 weeks now and your original thoughts about the place were completely wrong.

You thought everyone who worked in the castle would have something stuck up their ass entirely. That was before you met Ash, the royal family’s chef, who let you try all his new kitchen creations like nachos or french fries. It was also before you met the actual stable boy, Garth, who taught you the best places in the castle to take a quick nap or the different flowers that grew in the royal garden. Ms. Ellen let you take leftover food at the end of the day to 66 Seals. Jo listened to your constant bitching about Lilith and treated you like the sister she never had.

And Bobby was just… Awesome. He was always grumpy, swore like a seaman and knew a little bit of everything like a fucking library. He ran the entire castle without breaking a sweat and was the only person who bossed the royal family around.

The royal family was also another thing you seemed to get a few things wrong about. You always grew up thinking the Winchesters would be this civilized, put together family, that fit the portraits Charlie obsessed over… The Winchesters were a complete shit show just like every other family.

They swore, they argued, and drank as much as every poor bastard in Lawrence, if not more. And on a more ridiculous scale.

After your first day cleaning the throne room, the King was apparently mildly impressed. According to Bobby’s words, the thrones for once weren't polished like an idijit had done it. From then on, you were permanently assigned to clean the throne room every damn day. And every damn day you would get a taste of who the real Winchesters were.

The King was still scary as hell. That much didn't change. But the man had a way of charming the pants off of someone when a diplomatic guest came to seek help from the kingdom. Those were the rare times you would see him muster up a smile.

He also had a hell of a way parenting when it came to his two sons. Especially the younger one, Prince Samuel.

Samuel Winchester was the poorest excuse of a royal you’ve ever seen. And boy, did it make the King mad.

“Sam, your brother’s busy meeting with Lady Abbaddon today. Take his place with Bobby and attend the strategy meeting.”

“With all due respect Father, I wish to decline,”

The King’s eyes hardened. “You don't really have a choice to decline. It's your duty whether you like it or not.”

“It is my duty to attend a meeting on how to conquer and take control of more land that isn't ours to begin with? Sounds like a hell of a duty.”

“You watch your mouth, boy. Now you will do as I say or you can walk through those doors and never come back,”

Prince Samuel and the King’s fights always ended the same way. Prince Samuel storming off, pissed, and the King taking a small break from his throne room duties to cool off.

You never once talked to Prince Samuel since you’d been working there. But you were sure about one thing. Prince Samuel disliked royalty just as much as you did. Unlike Prince Dean.

Prince Dean was the perfect fit for a King. Dished out orders and listened to them when he needed to. He was a troublemaker, but he never disobeyed a direct order from the King. An exemplary heir to the throne.

God, you hated him. You never wanted to throw dirty bucket water on someone so much before… Besides Lilith, Meg, and Bela of course. But he was a bona-fide asshole.

Especially after that first week when you realized Prince Dean was the same person in the hallway you called an ass.

You were silent the whole way, walking out of the throne room. Once you were finally out in the hallway, the door slammed shut and the Prince just stared at you. With a grin.

You began fidgeting in your place and finally spoke.

“Your Highness wanted me to clean your...uh… shoes?”

“You may,” The Prince said with a smirk and a nod.

You clutched the end of your rag tightly and began to slowly sink to the floor. It was downright humiliating to clean someone else’s shoes. Much less a douchebag Prince.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N,” You answered softly.

“Y/N?” The Prince repeated.

“Yes,”

“A simple name for someone who's so much trouble,” You stayed silent. If this were the streets of Lawrence, he would have gotten a swift kick to the balls already.

The rag touched Prince Dean’s shoes and he let out a slow chuckle while you began to polish.

“Where’s that feistiness from earlier, Y/N?” You didn't respond. You continued to clean, just like Mrs. Ellen taught you. Circles.

“You know, I think I liked you better talking. You’re not going to say anything now?”

“If you don't want to talk, I can just make you talk… One way or another,” You paused polishing his shoes and rose to your feet slowly. You gave the Prince a wry smile.

“Good luck with that, Asshole.” You picked up your bucket and began walking towards the kitchen again. You needed way more cleaning supplies to finish up the throne room.

“I know your type,” Prince Dean echoed down the hallway for you to hear. “You'll blow up with the right amount of pushing.” He said chuckling at the end.

That laugh had been etched into your brain ever since then. And true to his words, Prince Dean was pushing and testing your patience to the limit.

“Say Mrs. Ellen, would you please send Y/N over to fill my cup of wine. It seems to be empty,”

“You wouldn't mind polishing my set of armor, huh Princess? It's seen better days… Can't say the same for you though,”

“Could you grab those volumes of scrolls for me on the top shelf? Try not to fall from the ladder though, Sweetheart. I need you to sort out the shelves next.”

Charlie thought it was cute though. Funny even.

“You're totally one of his favorite maids in the palace. He might even have a crush on you,” She said giggling.

But other than Prince Dean, the palace wasn't so awful to work in. Especially when you got to clean the library like you were doing right now.

The palace library was incredible. Books upon books pouring out of the shelves. Some of them looked brand new, never opened before and some looked older than the palace itself.

Those were your favorites. They were priceless antiques. And they reminded you of your parents.

You never knew who you would run into when cleaning the library. Sometimes it would be Bobby with a mountain of scrolls and books stacked sky high, murmuring “Balls” to himself every so often. And sometimes it would be Prince Dean fondling the dress of a giggling maid while “practicing” his studies.

Today, it was Prince Samuel.

“Exorcizamos te, omnis immundos spiritos, omnis satanica potestas,” The Prince recited slowly.

You shook your head. He'd been practicing the same chant since you started cleaning the library. You were more than halfway done now. The guy was a perfectionist when it came to his studies. But his Latin needed a little bit of help.

You really should've held your tongue seeing as how your mouth got you in trouble the first time with the older Prince. But some of the pronunciation was cringeworthy. The words spilled from your mouth all too quickly.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,” You spoke aloud.

You watched the Prince jump in surprise and spin around from his study desk. His mouth opened up in a weird O-shape.

“Hi, I um, I didn’t see you there.” He said scratching his head. He began to ramble. “Well I did but I sort of forgot since you were cleaning so quietly… What did you just say?”

You grinned at his awkwardness. You held your feather duster in one hand while still grabbing the ladder you were using to clean the shelves.

“I said Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. You’re turning the “u” into an “o”. Your Latin would be perfect otherwise,”

The Prince wrinkled his nose. “Is that why it's been sounding off?” You nodded.

“‘Fraid so,”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,” He enunciated slowly.

“Exactly,” You said jumping off the ladder. You walked over to the book in front of him. Your fingers lightly skimmed the page and you pointed.

“Also this word right here, omnis, watch how you say it because it's starting to sound like omnos. And if you screw up omnis, you're screwing yourself. It's in like every Latin book you read,”

“Well, um, thank you.” The younger Prince nodded to you, with a look of slight disbelief.

“You’re welcome, your Highness.” You said with a curtsy before turning to clean some more.

“Wait!” The Prince shouted abruptly. You spun back around with surprised eyes. The Prince was now standing up from his desk.

You never realized how tall the guy was until now, standing right in front of him. But he was a freaking giant. And Charlie was right. The Prince was beautiful.

“Yes, your Highness?” You said, your head slightly bowed.

“Don’t call me that,” Prince Samuel said quickly before you could finish your sentence. “I mean, I'm not your Highness or anything like that. I'm just Samuel. Well, Sam.”

You smiled and stuck your hand out. “Great, cause I'm just Y/N,”

Sam looked at your hand for a second before grabbing it. His eyes flit to your face for a brief second, slightly squinting, before realization dawned on him.

“You’re the new cleaning staff,” He said knowingly.

You shrugged. “Well one would assume that since we've never officially met before,”

“No, I mean you're the new girl that Dean keeps mentioning,”

You groaned. “Are you gonna hate me now and make my life miserable too?”

Sam let out a laugh and shook his head. “No, I think it's great he can't get to you. It pisses him off that you're not reacting,”

“I'm glad my plan actually is semi-working then… Notice I say semi. Your brother is going to get me fired, I can feel it in my bones.” You said sighing.

Sam grinned and began packing up his books on the table.

“I apologize for whatever my dickish brother has put you through but I promise you he's not trying to get you fired.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, right,”

“No honestly. I think he’s just bored.” Sam said matter-of-factly.

“Hell of a way to alleviate your boredom.” You scoffed.

Sam held up his hands in defense. “Again, not sticking up in any way for my brother but we're stuck in this palace 24/7. And the only time we get out and leave these walls, we’re on royal business.”

You crinkled your nose. “I don't understand. I thought you guys had money, could basically do whatever you want.”

Sam gave a humorless laugh. “You think if I could do whatever I wanted, I would be here studying Latin?”

“Well, why are you here studying Latin? A weird dark spell? In Latin at that…” You said recalling the words.

“It's an exorcism. We're suppose to get a well rounded education on Dark Magic if we were ever to encounter it here in the palace or on the battlefield.” Sam explained.

“Battlefield? Battlefield for what? Lawrence hasn't had a war in at least 20 or 30 years.”

Sam shrugged. “Always good to be prepared I guess… How do you know so much about my studies? Especially Latin? I mean not to say that the average commoner doesn't kno-”

You waved him off. “My parents taught me. They were antiquers.” You smiled at the memory. “Had a lot of books... My friend Charlie is also a huge nerd.”

“Well that makes two of us. I don't actually hate my studies. It's just frustrating sometimes when my professor runs off,” Sam said with a frustrated sigh.

“What do you mean by runs off?” You said with a furrowed eyebrow.

“I-” Sam’s words were cut off by the sound of the library door being swung open and giggles being heard. Sam rolled his eyes. “That's what I mean,”

You turned around and saw Prince Dean whispering in a woman’s ear while she giggled loudly in the quiet library. You actually recognized the woman as one of the Winchester’s instructors, now that you looked more closely.

Prince Dean suddenly locked eyes with you.

“I see you've met the finest hands in all of Lawrence, Sammy.”

“And I see you’ve brought back our instructor. No thanks to the two of you, I actually learned something today,” The instructor finally had the nerve to look ashamed for once and Sam suddenly had a wide smile plastered on his face.

“Mistress Hurley,” Sam said taking a step towards her. “Seeing as how your other side tasks have taken priority over our lessons, I'm happy to relieve you of your duties as instructor.”

The poor girl’s eyes widened in seconds. “But, your Ma-” She stuttered.

“You are dismissed, Mistress Hurley.” Sam spoke over her. You slightly flinched. Getting fired by a Prince was even worse in person than your imagination. You felt for her… Only somewhat.

Mistress Hurley’s bottom lip began to quiver. “I apologize, your Highness.” She said bowing before running out of the library. If you listened closely enough, you could hear a high-pitched whimpering sound outside of the door. You honestly didn’t think Sam had it in him to fire her so coldly.

“Dammit, Sammy. What the hell?” Prince Dean spat, fist clenched at his side.

Sam sighed. “Dean, the whole point of having an instructor is so we can learn something. Not for you to sleep with them.”

“Yeah, and the whole point of having a maid is for her to clean. Not to slack and spend time with you.” He said whipping his head towards you. “How about I dismiss her?”

Sam didn’t seem threatened at all. Almost like this was a regularly occurring thing he had to go through.

“You do that Dean and I’ll just rehire her. Plus, what would Father say about you firing the best throne maiden he’s had in years?”

Your eyes widened at that. Best in years? Surely Sam was overexaggerating to push Prince Dean more into a corner.

Prince Dean’s mouth slowly formed into a straight line.

“Hope she’s worth sticking your neck out for, Sammy.” Dean said with hardened eyes.

“You know, I think she is.” Sam said with a light smile.

Dean gave you one last glare before storming out of the library and slamming the door shut. You stood there speechless while Sam laughed.

“Yeah, he's got it bad for you.”

You took your feather duster and whacked Sam in the arm with it.

“Shut up, it's not funny! He almost fired my ass.” You took in a deep breath to calm yourself.

“Did you just hit me with a feather duster?”

“Yes, and I'll do it again if you try and pull something like that again. I can't afford to lose this job.” You said waving the feather duster at Sam, menacingly.

“Dean’s not going to fire you or else he would have done it already.” Sam said plopping back down at the table.

“Coming from the guy who just fired their school instructor.” You said pointedly.

“Mistress Hurley hasn't been doing her job for months now… Dean isn't the only one who she's been “teaching” Latin to…”

“You're kidding. Prince Samuel, I didn't peg you for the type of Prince to do such naughty things.” You said with an exaggerated gasp.

“No, not me! I wouldn't- I don't -” He stumbled, very flustered.

“I’m just kidding. I wanted to see if Prince's actually blush or not.” You grinned.

Sam groaned. “You're going to be a handful, aren't you?”

“You have no idea.”

#sam winchester #reader insert #dean x reader #reader x dean #spn imagine #spn fic #supernatural #supernatural oneshot #Prince!Dean #prince!sam #dean #dean winchester #dean imagine #cinderella au #cinderella!reader

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ironxkid · 3 years

Text

((I had to use the incorrect quote generator to for Carter and her friends so have a few under the cut dsfghjsfdgjk

Carter: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Mikey: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Carter: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

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Carter: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Theo, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Carter: Carter: fsh

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Carter: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Mikey: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Carter: Absolutely not.

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Carter: While I’m gone, Ryan, you’re in charge. Ryan: Yes!!! Carter, whispering: Reyna, you’re secretly in charge. Reyna: Obviously.

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Ryan: Time for plan G. Reyna: Don’t you mean plan B? Ryan: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Mikey: What about plan D? Ryan: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Cody: What about plan E? Ryan: I’m hoping not to use it. Theo dies in plan E. Carter: I like plan E.

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Theo: Rules are made to be broken. Reyna: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Ryan: Uh, piñatas. Carter: Glow sticks. Cody: Karate boards. Mikey: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Theo: Rules. Reyna:

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Ryan: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Reyna: Okay, but what is updog? Cody: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Carter: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Mikey: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Theo: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Ryan: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Carter: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Cody: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Reyna: What’s a henway?? Ryan: Oh, about five pounds.

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Theo, Ryan, and Mikey are sitting on a bench Carter: Why do you guys look so sad? Theo: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Carter sits down* Ryan: The bench is freshly painted.

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Cody: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Reyna: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Carter: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Ryan: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

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Carter: Can I be frank with you guys? Cody: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Theo: Can I still be Theo? Mikey: Shh, let Frank speak.

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*Ryan is cooking* Theo: Any chance that’s for me? Ryan: It’s for Reyna. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need her on my side. Carter: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

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Cody: *Gently taps table* Theo: *Taps back* Mikey: What are they doing? Carter: Morse code. Cody: *Aggressively taps table* Theo: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

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Ryan, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Mikey: You did WHAT– Carter: William Snakepeare

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Theo: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Carter: You people already know too much about me. Ryan: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

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Carter: Reyna, my old arch enemy. Theo: ... I thought I was your arch enemy? Carter: I have a life outside of you, Theo.

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Carter: I trust Theo. Cody: You think he know what he’s doing? Carter: I wouldn't go that far.

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Ryan: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Theo: The cow??? Ryan: What? Carter: Theo, W H Y?

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Reyna: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Carter: We got spring water Reyna: NO. Mikey: with EXTRA minerals Carter: it's like licking a stalagmite Reyna: DON'T COME HOME. Mikey: Mmmmm cave water

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Cody, driving Theo and Carter: So how was your day? Theo: We almost got surprise adopted! Cody: What? Carter: We almost got kidnapped. Cody: Oh, okay. Cody: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

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Reyna: If you had to choose between Carter and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Theo: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Carter: Theo! Reyna: 63 cents. Theo: I'll take the money. Carter: THEO!!!

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Theo: I was arrested for being too cool. Carter: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Carter: This is a mistake Ryan, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! Carter: But not today Ryan, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

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Carter: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right Mikey: Looking right because you left Ryan: Looking up cause you let me down Theo: Looking down cause you fucked up Reyna: What is wrong with you guys

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Cody: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Mikey: >:O language Theo: Yeah watch your fucking language Ryan: OKAY WHO TAUGHT CODY THE FUCK WORD? Carter: 'The fuck word'. Reyna: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Theo: Oh my god she censored it Carter: Say fuck, Reyna. Theo: Do it, Reyna. Say fuck.

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Theo: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Cody: What if it bites me and it dies!? Reyna: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Cody, learn to listen. Ryan: What if it bites itself and I die? Carter: That’s voodoo. Mikey: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Cody: That’s correlation, not causation. Ryan: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Carter: That’s kinky. Theo: Oh my God.

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Cody: We need to distract these guys Ryan: Leave it to me Ryan: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Carter, Theo, and Reyna: *Immediately begin arguing* Mikey, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

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*The squad is over at Ryan's house* Carter: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven? Ryan: ... N-No... Ryan, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Carter, motioning to his kitchen: Three, I thought! Mikey: I see a- Ryan, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Carter: Oh, well I- Ryan: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave* Ryan, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Cody: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Theo: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Ryan: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin! Ryan: I am a man who owns four ovens... Ryan, louder and way too happy: I am a man... who owns FOUR OVENS... Ryan: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens... Reyna, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven! Ryan: Carter: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Ryan: Ryan, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

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Cody: Croissants: dropped Carter: Road: works ahead Theo: BBQ sauce: on my titties Mikey: Shavacado: fre Ryan: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Reyna: Reyna, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

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Ryan: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Carter: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Ryan: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Mikey: Actually I did the math, Carter would have $225, not $0.15. Carter: Fam I’m right here.... Theo: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Ryan: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Theo: Sorry I only have a dollar Ryan: :( Cody: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Carter would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Theo: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Mikey: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Cody: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice Mikey: Apply juice to what Reyna: Directly to the forehead Carter: Great chat everyone

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Cody, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Carter: Hey. Mikey: Hi. Reyna: Hello. Ryan: Hey! Cody: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Theo: We were out of Doritos.

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*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Mikey: Thanks fam! Reyna: oh no Cody: *cries* I love you too Ryan: Sounds fake but okay Carter: *A flustered mess* Theo: can i get a refund

#headcanons #((I should make a tag for them dsfgjhsdfghjk #but yeah sorry I totally got distracted with this lol))#incorrect quotes #npc shenanigans

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demonicbolt · 7 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs - Sports!

Topic today? SPORTS! With our advanced capabilities, we’ve invented a TON of sports that require intense physical ability in regards to strength, speed, accuracy, and massive pain tolerances. Baseball, Football, Rugby, Hockey, and this isn’t even going to the Olympic level! Olympic level sports are another tier unto themselves, requiring every aspect above to such degrees that competing at a lower level would be unfair. What would aliens think about these? Especially a race like Loko’s, with their slower rates of healing…

~~~

“Ah, there ya are Loko! I was wondering when ya’d get here!” Jack said happily as she let me into her room.

On the station we served on, we were lucky enough to have individual rooms that, according to Jack, were bigger than her old apartment on Earth. I had to look up the word ‘apartment’ three times to fully understand what one was or wasn’t.

“Hello Human-Jack. I remembered that you said to bring snacks, so I went to the mess hall and asked what would be appropriate” I said happily and held up a large plate of stadium-style nachos.

“Perfect! Larry should be here any minute with some drinks!” Jack smiled and took the nachos, putting the plate down on the coffee-table in front of her couch.

I walked in and sat down, looking at Jack “I do not believe I know of this Larry. Is it also coming for the sporting video?”

Jack giggled a little and smiled “Larry is one of the security guards, though I actually met him back in Canada, on Earth. He transferred here about a week ago” She explained as she adjusted her cast on her arm.

I watched her and blinked as she did so “Does your cast need maintenance? I can contact the medical center for you if you like”

“Thank you Loko, but I’m fi-“ Jack turned to face the door as a buzzer sounded, alerting them of company.

The door opened to reveal a human-male standing there. From just a glance, I could visibly see this new person was an inch shorter than Jack, but still an inch taller than myself. The male also appeared to be a different coloring than Jack, but to a drastic degree. Jack described herself once as ‘Caucasian’ but this new human was different and I didn’t really know enough about humans to understand why. Clearly another research project.

“Hey there Jackie! I brought some beers for us and some of that synthetic stuff for that wolf guy you talked about… OH! You must be him” The human, which must be the Larry mentioned before, walked in and extended his hand.

I took the hand carefully and gave it a shake in greeting. I remembered this activity from when I met Jack. “Yes, I am Loko, one of Human-Jack’s friends and co-workers. I was invited over to see this... ‘rugby’?”

“Football actually, but sweet! I figured you lot wouldn’t like it since your lots idea of sports is competitive chess” Larry said with a chuckle and sat down on the other end of the couch

“Oh hush Larry” Jack said with a shake of her head “Let’s just watch the game”

Though likely in jest, Human-Larry was correct about one thing. Wolfos version of competition was what humans called ‘academics’, not wanting to risk our rather delicate bodies with physical trauma that could cause long-term problems. Despite our size and evidently intimidating form, our bones were fragile and took a long time to heal. We were designed for stealth and short bursts of speed, not for strength or endurance.

Jack meanwhile was setting up a recording of a football game that had happened a few days ago on Earth. Even with the speed of the Galactic Communication Network, a station this far out took about twelve hours to get anything from Earth, and even longer to get large files like an entire sports game.

The humans’ mannerisms completely changed while the ‘match’ was on. They clearly favoured the team called the ‘Cowboys’ and cheered every time they scored points. I honestly couldn’t follow the game at first, watching that many humans thunder across a field covered in lines and numbers, trying to seemingly get an oddly shaped object to one side or the other. I wasn’t used to tracking that many fast moving beings at once.

When ‘half-time’ came up Jack turned to me and smiled.

“Enjoying the game Loko? I mean, it feels a little slow this year, but I think that’s cause they lost a player two weels back so they’re treading carefully” Jack explained as she got up to grab another beer.

“They lost a player? Did they not search for him?” I asked in confusion. Surely a human as big as these football players couldn’t be that hard to spot.

“She means he broke his leg and had to drop out. They didn’t have time to bring in a replacement before the finals” Larry explained and shook his head. “Alright… you know what, I’m taking it! You’re on Jack, I bet the Cowboys lose. The score is tied now, but the Giants pulled their score up hard in the last few minutes. Fifty credits on the Giants to win” He said with a wicked grin.

Jack spun as if on a swivel, facing Larry now. “oh no, you did NOT. The Cowboys ain’t lost a game all season, so they’re gonna win. Double that bucko, a hundred creds says the Cowboys win!” her accent seemed thicker than usual as she spoke.

Larry held his hand towards her and they gave a quick, firm shake to each other while also giving small nods. Clearly, handshakes had multiple meanings… yet ANOTHER research project for later. Humans were so complicated.

As the game resumed, they were now each cheering on a different team. Not wanting to feel left out, I joined in cheering on the Cowboys with Jack, which seemed to please her… I think.

The final point came down to the Cowboys needing a touchdown while four points behind, but with only nine seconds left of ‘game time’ and a long distance to cover, I failed to see them winning. I went to console Jack but she held up a hand and grinned, stating “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over”

I turned to watch the final moments of the game with them. The players were huddled up and talking before two members switched positions. When they formed their line-up, their usual placements were broken and left a gap on one side of their defence. Clearly, they were not as well coordinated as I had come to think, yet…

“And here goes the final play, with an odd formation from the Cowboys as they aim for a final run. Zimmerman signals, and… OH MY GOD! Look at that leap! He just cleared three people with that and… he’s going! Zimmerman’s making a mad dash! That boy doesn’t quit! Six seconds left as he barrels down the field… two… TOUCHDOWN! With just half a second left on the clock, the judges are calling it good! The Cowboys win!”

Jack jumped up, yelling and cheering before turning to Larry “HA HA! Never doubt a Texan with an attitude, cause you’ll lose every time!”

Larry just laughed and shrugged “Fair enough, my mistake! I’ll get you your credits in the morning. I’m off to lick my wounds… night Jack, Loko” He said with another shake of his head and left with a chuckle.

I looked up at Jack as she stood there with that gloating expression still on her face and was about to speak.

“Ah… damn it feels good to win. Thanks for coming Loko, made it all the better to whoop his ass with an audience.”

… I feel like I’m heading back to my quarters with more homework than ever before tonight. Humans are strange…

~~~

For more adventures of Jack and Loko, links below

http://demonicbolt.tumblr.com/post/168455153489/humans-are-space-orcs-broken-bones-and-healing

#humans are space orcs #jacqueline harper #Loko #Football

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reverseblackholeofwords · 7 years

Text

Going to the Fair

(This is sort of a combination of a couple different asks that I’ve saved up like a squirrel collecting nuts! Hope you guys enjoy! This will also be posted in two parts: one for the Ipliers and one for the Jackaboys!)

Imagine the Egos going to a carnival that arrives nearby. There are rides and games and, you guessed it, tons of cotton candy. It’s Wilford’s idea, of course, and he quickly convinces Bim and Oliver, who are more than happy to join him in needling the others into going. Dark is oddly willing to go and participate while the introverted Host says quite plainly, “I’d rather throw myself down a flight of stairs.” They end up dragging him along anyway.

Imagine Ed Edgar waltzing up to the shooting booth and blowing everyone away with his sharpshooting skills. He’s got a couple pretty girls eyeing him, to which he tips his hat with a, “Hello, ladies. Pardon me,” before he grabs the giant stuffed animal prize and walks away with it tucked under his arm. It appears the next day in its own chair at the Board Room table. Dark is not amused.

Imagine the Googles being utterly astounded by this raucous display of apparent disregard for personal safety. “These things are deathtraps!” Green shouts, his programming scanning all the many flaws in the cheap rides. “I’d rather go over Niagara Falls in a soup can.” Red loves it. He rides all the rides, even the ones that make Green squirm with concern, and Oliver wants all of the stuffed animals. “You can’t just take them,” Blue tries to explain to an upset Oliver. “You have to actually win the games.” Challenge accepted, Ollie beats every single booth with mechanical precision, accounting for the extra measures taken so that the player should not be able to win. Once he has both arms full of toys, he passes them out to little children that he comes across.

Imagine Dr. Iplier trying to keep Wilford and Walter from stuffing their faces with all the ridiculous fried foods, “THEY’VE GOT ALLIGATOR ON A STICK!” Doc shakes his head and gives up after a few minutes and finds the Host hiding behind the Hall of Mirrors. The two of them share a plate of nachos and talk, and by the time everyone else is ready to leave, they’re deep in a heated discussion about the value of Severus Snape as a character in the Harry Potter series. “He was a dirtbag!” “Yes, but even dirtbags have a place in literature!”

Imagine Silver Shepherd getting hopelessly lost among the throngs of people and wandering around in search of the others. He runs into Yandereplier, who Wilford brought along and who, coincidentally, also got lost. Yandere offers an idea. They could ride to the top of the Ferris wheel and look for the others in the crowd. Silver thinks the idea is perfect until they get to the top, and he stands up to look over the edge only to tip the gondola he and Yan are in so that he ends up hanging out of it. Needless to say, the two are quickly found by a fuming Darkiplier.

Imagine Wilford and Walter running around causing absolute mayhem. They make the arcade games spit out all their tickets, eat enough cotton candy to fill the entirety of the Grand Canyon (or so Wilford claims), and join the clowns in pranking people with squirting flowers. And Walter, apparently, makes a mean balloon animal. They get a little side-tracked from their general chaos when Walter eyes a watermelon stand, and they stay there for a good part of the night wolfing down melons in a melon-eating contest. I don’t think that I have to tell you who won, but Wilford and Walter have to carry the trophy between the two of them because it is a giant melon covered in metallic gold paint. Walter is practically glowing with pride.

Imagine Bim being dazzled by the colorful lights and a tent of acrobats doing mind-boggling feats. He’s so impressed, in fact, that he takes notes and decides that he’ll simply have to teach himself how to do those things. He thinks that with practice and a little magic, he may be able to pull it off. He eventually joins the Googles in riding rides, but gets helplessly sick, effectively putting an end to the night. Bim is quite apologetic about it, but Wilford thinks the distance that Bim blew those chunks was pretty amazing.

Dark managed to talk a few people out of their wallets and watches, practice in his mind, and so he corrals the scattered Egos and takes them home.

#darkiplier #wilford warfstache #bim trimmer #the host #dr. iplier #ed edgar #silver shepherd #yandereplier #walter warfstache #googleplier #markiplier #markiplier ego imagines

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thedaveandkimmershow · 7 years

Photo

I’m thinking my birthday this year is one I’d like to experience every year. By which I mean to say it struck the right balance of everything.

Couple things that paved the way for it:

1. I managed to slip in ‘n outta Seattle the previous afternoon to leave flowers at the gravesite of the woman who was our neighborhood’s bible school teacher when I was a kid. Usually, I try to make this trip on my birthday... but it turns out to be a touch more contemplative when it’s not a side trip up Queen Anne that’s shoehorned into a day of Seattle adventures.

2. We hit The Rock Lynnwood the previous night to kick off my birthday celebration ‘cause the days down at this end of the year are so... short.

Anway.

We didn’t sleep in crazy late on my birthday. Just ‘til 9-ish so as to ease into the morning a little before heading out. Especially making room for the part where I get to open birthday presents.

Kimmer made me a craft-y birthday card accompanied by Season 5 of The Big Bang Theory from Half Price Books... along with a Value Village leather jacket for which she’s been hunting quite some time now.

Linzy had to slip outta the house ‘cause she had an early shift at Dolce Blue in downtown Seattle that day.

No worries, though. She’d meet back up with us later.

By 10:30, Kimmer ‘n I were on the road in her green bug. It was an ideal foray into the world on my birthday because, even though it was cold, it was a classic sunny winter morning on largely deserted roads.

Like the day was just for me.

Nice.

Ten, Fifteen minutes later, we pull into Hopjack’s on 99 & 196th, grab a booth, and order, for the very first time, from the Hopjack’s Weekend Breakfast menu.

Believe it or not, it was an eye-opening, mouthwatering experience. Kimmer had the Cali Benedict, a variation on a theme topped with avocado, bacon, and tomato. Me, I had the Hopjack’s Slam. Basically, it’s what you order when you can’t make up your mind: 2 eggs (scrambled), french toast, bacon, country sausage. All super tasty. On top of that, I chose a country biscuit when offered of choice of said biscuit, whole wheat toast, or an English muffin.

Interestingly, both of us were asked if we preferred smashed potatoes, hash browns, or fresh fruit to accompany our breakfasts.

We both raised our hands for the hash browns.

Then we were asked

Crispy... or not crispy?

Yes. Two votes for crispy hash browns.

It was heavenly.

At 11:30, we had to beat a path outta there, leftover boxes tucked securely in hand, as we needed to be at the Crest Theater in Shoreline for the 11:45 showing of “The Man Who Invented Christmas”.

youtube

Of course I love “A Christmas Carol”, read it every year this time of year, so I was relieved to find myself enjoying this movie dramatizing Dickens’s creative process toward a finished manuscript, under immense pressure, in under 8 weeks.

Did the screenwriters play fast and loose with details?

No idea.

Put it on the list of unverified information to research. For now... all I know is we had a great time watching it.

Then to downtown Seattle where we’re to meet Linzy around 3.

It’s 145-ish up in Shoreline right now, so we jump back into Kimmer’s green bug and manage our way to I-5, to 99, slipping into a spot along the street next to that church on 6th Avenue North between Valley & Aloha.

Now, Kimmer’s been on the phone with her Orange County cousin from California. She’s been on the phone with him for a while. So in the midst of that conversation we magage to exit the car and walk two blocks before realizing I’d left my DSLR camera in the trunk. Kimmer’s reading glasses, by the way, have slipped off her head and tucked themselves between her seat and the door.

She won’t realize that, however, until we’re at the downtown end of the monorail.

We grab my camera, though, and continue the walk to The Seattle Center.

We’re gonna pass right by it anyway, so a quick stop at the Culture Kitchen by Wolfgang Puck in the Museum of Pop Culture is quite in order.

There’s no seats at the bar available just then, so we hit the gift shop one floor up... but keep an ever watchful eye out for anyone vacating their seat. Which happens, actually, pretty quick.

I dash down the stairs to stake our claim whilst Kimmer elects to take the elevator.

When she finally catches up with me, we have a lovely time over a beer sampler. Left to right above, it’s

Elysian Mens Room Original Red Sodo Brown Ale African Amber Manny's Pale Ale

It’s closing in on 3... so we pay our tab and head outside. We’re not taking the monorail into town, though. We’re walking: south on 5th, across Broad under the monorail, behind Fisher Plaze and across Denny, then Cedar to 4th.

We walk along the sunny side of 4th down to Dolce Bleu. Linzy’s off work already and lounging over at Barnes & Noble a few blocks away. She meets us on the Northeast corner of 4th & Pine and, with a little help from Google Maps, make our way to the Hard Rock Cafe for Classic Nachos and Southwest Chicken Flatbread.

After our lunch-slash-dinner together on my birthday, we head back out into a downtown Seattle that’s colder, darker, and windier.

No bueno.

I’ve got my DSLR with me, though, and I wanna take some pictures of downtown at Christmastime.

We part company at the corner of 5th & Pine, the girls continuing their way toward warmth at Barnes & Noble a coupla blocks away while I snap the few photos on which I’d set my heart.

The remainder of our time downtown was finding the girls again after my impromptu photo shoot, waiting a touch whilst Kimmer bought a replacement pair of reading glasses, then making our way to 5th... up the elevator to the monorail.

From the Seattle Center, yes... it was a very cold walk back to our car. The temperature’d dropped even more... and the wind was whipping those cold molecules about our faces and hands with a vengeance.

We were supposed to meet up with our friend, Alexander, back at the house at 7... which we managed quite succesfully by pulling into our driveway at 645.

One thing about Alexander... he always leaves our home better than he found it. There was a lot of comparing notes, catching up. A lot of laughter and so this happened.

A lot of Christmas Cheer.

Kimmer ‘n I’d committed to a friend’s music gig in downtown Edmonds, so we left Alexander and Linzy behind for continued catching up whilst we jumped back into Kimmer’s car and drove down to Engels Pub to see our friend’s band Who’s Your Daddy?

Unfortunately, the pub’s kind of narrow and small... and this is about as far into the pub as we could get.

Yup. We’re standing by the front door.

We have friends we’re also supposed to meet here... so we audible the evening and meet them a few blocks over at Church Key Pub a couple blocks away around 10.

And that’s how my birthday ended. Hanging out with friends in a pub. Good food, drink, laughter, and conversation. Catching up with old friends. Meeting some people we hadn’t met before.

By the time we got home... it was 1AM the next morning.

One last thing: my birthday present from Linzy. This bad boy right here. A box of Family Size Apple Jacks.

And yes.

My daughter does know me.

She topped it off with her own handmade card.

And she’s right: a giant box of Apple Jack’s is hard to top.

As is the birthday I just experienced.

:-)

#mybirthday #hopjackslynnwood #cresttheater #seattlecenter #mopopseattle #culturekitchenbywolfgangpuck #hardrockcafeseattle #westlakepark #barnesandnobleseattle #theseattlemonorail #alexandersthebest #whosyourdaddy #churchkeypubedmonds #andrewandkatierock #familysizeapplejacks #awesomebirthday

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chorusfm · 7 years

Text

Sir Sly on Repurposing Tragedy with ‘Don’t You Worry, Honey’

On the eve of the release of their sophomore album, I sat down with the trio from Sir Sly at the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles to discuss their excitement about the new music, the breakout success of “High,” the personal events behind the album, and why they never want to be outworked. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. How’s album release week going? Hayden Coplen: Busy. Landon Jacobs: Yeah, prerelease week has been buuusy, with like nine u’s. We’ve been doing production rehearsals, a lot of running around town, and meetings and interviews. It’s been great, though. Hayden put it best a minute ago. He said, “It’s absolutely worth putting all the time and energy into supporting the album, because it wouldn’t feel right not to.” We put so much energy into making the album that it would be completely wrong to not put all that energy into supporting it as well. Coplen: Did you see the Radiohead oral history that was out? The Rolling Stone one? Yeah, yeah. Coplen: There’s that one part, I can’t remember if it’s Jonny or Thom, where he says, “We had to earn the right to go away.” That was their goal as a band, which I thought was really interesting. Now you think of them as a band that is very picky, says no to a lot of stuff, but they were saying we said yes until we had earned the right to say no. That’s a fair approach. I like that approach. Does it feel a lot different than when you released your first album? Coplen: Yeah. Jacobs: The excitement surrounding this album release has felt very different, even from things like radio interviews and stuff. The people asking us questions, there’s that intangible feeling people care more this time around. Maybe that’s because it’s obvious we care more. Coplen: I think there’s more to grab onto, honestly. Showing personality can be hard. To be candid, we felt that on the first album in a lot of ways. Jacobs: It was easier to be mysterious than it was to come across as confident, normal folks who are just pursuing what we love to do, which is making music. The making of the second album, there was no way we could come out on the other side and not feel confident about what we did, because we spent so much time on it. Even to make the songs the way we did, for me to write about the things I did lyrically, I had to take a leap of faith in some ways. The fact that Jason and Hayden were so supportive and confident in me throughout that time too did wonders for us feeling like we could really step out and do what we want to do in music videos and talk about ourselves the way we want to be able to talk about ourselves. It seems the excitement that people have waiting for the album to come out, or the questions they have about it, is a little more earnest. It seems that everyone is a little more excited than they were for the first album. Does Chase Kensrue still tour with you guys? Jacobs: He does not, unfortunately. There’s a hole in our heart that we filled with a giant plush brain, and some lighting and some gear. That’s maybe the easiest reason. Coplen: We wish they were here. Touring is hard. Jacobs: There’s a big gap in between. Coplen: Yeah, there’s a big gab between being a small band and being a band that can adequately support everyone. Jacobs: That first album cycle we were not quite kids, but I don’t really feel like I was an adult, though. This break of two years since we last toured in earnest is that exact timeline where if we’re not on the road, it’s time for us to move on and pursue other things. So we gave them a pat on the back and blessings. Hopefully we can keep on getting more gear to fill that hole in our hearts [laughter]. You’re originally from over there in Orange County, right? Jacobs: Yeah, so we grew up listening to Thrice. Jason Suwito: We grew up in Mission Viejo and Irvine. Jacobs: I remember the first time I met Chase. I was like, “You look eerily familiar.” Coplen: I was inner fanboying when Dustin was at the show. Jacobs: We went and got Mexican food with him one time, and I was like, “Dude, I saw you guys at the Wiltern!” It was Thrice, Brand New and mewithoutYou. Those were like my three favorite bands in one concert back then. I was like, “Oh my god!!” And then I’m sharing nachos that were made on Doritos with Dustin. Dustin was like, “You gotta try these [laughter].” Coplen: In between talking about C.S. Lewis. Jacobs: I was like, “Sure, I guess I’ll try some Doritos with cheese melted on top of them.” It was insane. So I know you went through some stuff in between records, which shows up on the album a lot. What was it like putting that into words and writing about it? Jacobs: A lot nicer than living in it. One of my favorite quotes about songwriting is Bjork saying it’s like exorcising demons, which doesn’t sound like much of a choice. Either you live with demons inside of you or you have to figure a way to get them out. The moment I read that I was like, Yeah, that’s exactly what it feels like. If I let these things sit and fester, I don’t find a way to creatively work through them. I like to categorize things in that way. So the album and writing these lyrics was one part necessity and another part a fun adventure of figuring out how to repurpose all these really shitty things that happened in my life into something that felt like I had purpose in. Loving music as much as I do, I wanted to make something I was so proud of that every night on tour I could go back and be thankful for the fact I get to repurpose three really difficult years into what I feel like is an amazing album. In one of your other interviews I was reading you said you wanted to write about tragedy but still have it be a fun album. Jacobs: Yeah. Similarly as I was going through when my mom died and as I got divorced, I was living alone for the first time ever in my life. I was also going out in L.A. and stuff. I was beginning to really love certain types of dance music, and dancing myself. We would go to Funky Soul Night at the Echo or whatever it was. Or I’d be alone in my apartment, dancing to Prince. I realized I wanted something that was fun for people to come and see live. We all wanted that because life is equally serious, and should be. People are always striving to have that levity, to be able to turn something tragic into something positive. The fact that we’re all still here is cause for celebration. That was kind of the thing. I have to sit and take a mental image when I’m getting stressed or getting anxious, like when we had a really difficult travel day. But at the end of it, I’m like, “Wow, that was a nightmare. But nobody’s sick. Nobody’s hurt. Nobody’s going to die. We all made it.” That’s something I’ve been constantly reminding myself of. This album, because of that, I wanted to have cause for celebration. If you come out to a show, we’re not here to weigh you down. We’re here to commiserate, to share what we’ve been through, and then hopefully to uplift each other. That’s the goal of the human experience. Coplen: I think the truth is, too, that there’s been a lot of joy. As we’re preparing for this, we’re working harder than we’ve ever worked, but we’re humming along. I have this visual like we’re above the fray. It feels really good. There’s not a lot of resistance. Everyone is in lockstep, from the band members to the team. It’s a really rare feeling. I think a lot of it stems from the record ultimately being a bit of a celebration. Jacobs: There’s a bit of magic to not taking yourself so seriously that it’s like, My mom died, therefore I have to be a sad, sappy sack of shit for the next album. There was a freedom in being able to say I still like having a good time. I miss my mom, but my mom wouldn’t want me to wallow away and make the equivalent of a Conor Oberst, drinking a gallon of vodka a day, weeping alone in my room record. That’s not the way I want to look back and see how I handled these past couple years. And, yeah, getting divorced is sad, but it’s also freeing. So there is a bit of that, too. There is the juxtaposition of the depth of grief, but I was living in a pretty free situation as well. We all wanted to reflect that accurately through the making of the record. What’s it been like seeing “High” get as big as it’s gotten so far? Jacobs: Magical. It’s the best. Apart from writing the song in the first place, and apart from making the album in the first place, the best feeling in the world is having people appreciate what you do and take it into their own. People don’t listen to music lightly. Some people do, but a lot of people are very specific about the kind of music they choose. It means a great deal to them. People are proud of their music tastes. In order to break through that barrier and have so many people love the song, it’s even nicer now that I stop and think. Everybody has their own unique taste and it’s really cool to be accepted that way by so many different people. It’s great. Coplen: Today I was doing an interview on that same point. We ended up talking about people disliking songs. When we wrote it, we all had a very good feeling about “High.” I brought up the example of Landon’s brother, who heard it and was like, “Oh, I don’t like that song.” Jacobs: He got through the first pre-chorus where it goes “Feels good to be…” and then the chorus came on and he turned it off. We were driving in his car. He turned it off and was like, “I don’t like that one.” I was like, “OK, let’s go into Walgreens.” He was like, “I don’t mean to be a dick.” And I was like, “No, it’s good.” If we can make something that some people don’t like, hopefully it means that other people are going to love it. Instead of it being in an acceptable middle range where everybody goes, “Eh, that’s OK music.” I’d rather have some people go, “I hate that. It reminds me of this other thing I hate.” And then somebody else goes, “I love that for these reasons.” I’d rather be polarizing than be the lowest common denominator that everybody can enjoy. Was the video fun to shoot? Jacobs: Absolutely. Suwito: Yeah, that was the funnest one. Jacobs: It was one of the hardest days. I’ve never seen a group of people work that hard just in general, from the people part of set design to the choreographer to the crew to Kevin, who directed it. All these people were running around on set, working crazy and so hard. But at the end of the day, it seemed like everybody was energized. They were either friends of friends or people who’ve worked together before. It was a really fun, open environment. And also they saw how hard we were working, too. It’s nice when everybody is in that same space together and you can look around and see everybody working hard. Nobody is slacking off or not giving a shit. Even at the end of a very long day, which was at the end of a very long week and after a couple long months of making this music video, it was nice to feel like everybody had given 100 percent. We had all worked tirelessly and it didn’t seem like there was any bitterness across the board from anybody that had worked on it. Which is a testament to hopefully the fun we wanted to have making the video and our resolution to never have anybody work harder than we work on our own stuff. I don’t want anybody to ever put us on their back and to look back with any bitterness. I want to know we gave it our all and everybody else is happy to work on the stuff we’re working on, because we care more than anybody else possibly could. What’s the story behind getting the Donnie Trumpet sample on “Change?” How did that idea come out? Coplen: That was me. There was a time where we were like, “Why did we ever do that?” And then we cleared it and were able to release the album, which is amazing. They were actually really gracious. But that one, I was on a plane. It was in the middle of writing. On a plane I love to mess with stuff, but it’s really hard to actually write. So I’m just manipulating different sounds or messing with cool drums. I was like, “Ah, let’s try to sample this.” “Miracle” is this amazing song that has such a unique feel to it. It’s very optimistic, and at the same time very morose and washed out. I ended up grabbing a piece of the end, pitching it up and using this guitar sample. In my head, it was a little bit like College Dropout-era Kanye. I don’t think it ultimately sounds like that, but that was something going through my head. Like, how warm his beats would always feel. They were so comfortable and nostalgic. It was like hanging out with an old friend or something. That’s what I was going for. Jacobs: Ironically enough, I don’t know if originally it was the pull subconsciously, but the lyric is something along the lines of “It’s a miracle to be alive.” We all knew the song, but it had been a while until I had paid attention to the lyrics. We had just been hearing that sample over and over. So the other day I went back and listened to it again, and it was so crazy. Sometimes there’s those little serendipitous moments, like that lyric is so close to what this album was for me lyrically. So to go back and hear that, I was able to go, “Yeah, that’s exactly why that sample was chosen. There is that feeling in that song.” And that goes for all the samples we use. There’s an immediate sonic and emotional pull, like, That’s this album right there. That’s that song. And we’d build from that moment. We’d never used samples before, but at the end of the day, it feels like we’re right at home using samples as a part of making an album. I think it’s something we’ll continue to do in the future. How about “Altar?” What was it like writing that song? Jacobs: That was one that started from a sample as well. Jason had made that instrumental flute thing. Suwito: Yeah, it was from an old TV theme. Jacobs: The chord progression he ended up making by repitching it brought out a really strange melody, something I don’t think I had ventured to do before. I actually had written this poem, a long metaphor using worshipping at an altar as a euphemism for oral sex. That was how it started. The poem is like three times as long as the lyrics are in the song. It turned into I had put her up on a pedestal, or the idea of love and marriage or whatever it was. I was raised very Evangelical Christian. My parents got married when they were 18, and her parents had gotten married when they were 18. My grandparents had gotten married when they were in their early 20s. It was what everybody in my family did, and has continued to do. I had put it up as this finish line, this point where you get there and coast through the rest of life because you’ve found the person you’re going to marry and be with forever. That song was the product of that disillusionment. The starkness of the lyrics informed the way we built off that original instrumentation. The ending with the tones of gospel music comes from a place of Hayden and I growing up and playing music in church. It works really nicely with the sample. That last bit of lyrics is probably my favorite moment on the album lyrically, using my mom’s voice as a monologue telling me how to weather the storm. We originally started making this album all about my fear and anxiety. We had really minimal electronic songs and these very scared and afraid lyrics. That moment is the exact opposite. It’s me talking to myself through my mom’s voice. It’s kind of like the voicemail on “Oh Mama.” I’m always worried that will make me cry every time I hear it, so playing it onstage can be a little rollercoaster. Let’s close with “Oh Mama” then, since that’s one of the centerpieces on the album. Did the idea for that song come first? Did the music? How did you pair the two together? Jacobs: That was a song we started writing shortly after my mom had died, which was March 2016. It was totally different. It started out with a different instrumental that Jason had been working on. It was much faster. Then we ended up writing a chorus for that song, and the verse and the chorus didn’t feel quite right. So we scrapped that whole song, but I knew I always wanted to come back to working that chorus out. When Jason showed us the new instrumentals, I had also recently had a dream about my mom. We were in San Francisco. It was me, her and my dad in this apocalypse type of setting. There was all this weird stuff happening, and it stuck with me. I was in the dream telling her how difficult life has been ever since she died. She was sitting, listening, but I wasn’t explicitly saying since you died. I was saying life has been really hard. She wasn’t talking, and I was like, Oh. Maybe she doesn’t know. She had brain cancer, so she couldn’t remember things very well. She had no short-term memory, so then she couldn’t form long-term memories. In my dream, I was thinking maybe she forgot she’s supposed to be dead and that she’s not allowed to be here visiting me. That was how those verses ended up getting started, and then we took that chorus and repurposed it into the song. Did you use an actual choir for the end? Coplen: Yeah, they were awesome. They did “Altar” and “Oh Mama.” We had them for a taped live performance at one point. Jacobs: That was another really interesting thing. We used a sample from the famous movie The Color Purple in “Trippin.’” There’s that gospel line from a scene in the movie, and one of the singers was actually in the movie and a part of the recording. The choir director also co-wrote and worked on it. He was like, “I know that.” We were like, “How do you know it?” And he’s like, “I worked on it.” We were like, “Oh!” [laughter] So that was another strange, serendipitous moment. It’s been really fun. When you work as hard as we did on this album, you end up running into all kinds of strange little fun coincidences. It makes the world a lot smaller when you extend your inspirations and extend the musical boundaries. You end up running into all kinds of things like that. Don’t You Worry, Honey is out now on Spotify and Apple Music. 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