#also i should currently be doing about 34 other more important things but instead i spent all evening drawing send help

[sanshinexx]

In a world where Fives survived

[More incorrect quotes and fanart here]

[koushou]

i love it smmmm omg. the megumi fix is amazing it’s more than i asked for ❤️❤️ bro 6,9k is a blessing you don’t understand how glad it made me it’s so worth the wait. tumblr is so dry when it comes to anime fics and especially w megumi thank you for feeding me something other than the crumbs this website gives me. i don’t want to be too annoying but whenever you’re free if you could do a pt 2 cause that ending omg. i love it sm and i can’t thank you enough ❤️

pairing : megumi x f!reader [fluff]

warnings : slight makeout scene idk HAHA nothing too intense though (also not proofread because i wanted to get this posted as soon as i finished it)

wc : 3.5k

a/n : ur too sweet omg and im FINALLY back from procrastinating your request again anon… (i really apologize i don’t mean to take so long pls forgive me D: ) i hope this is what you wanted!!

pt. 1 (you don’t really have to read pt 1 to understand this part but i do recommend it)

loud chatter echoes through the large modern dining hall located on the second floor of the hotel.

“i’m… so full…” a certain pink haired male burps for the nth time as he still continues to stuff food into his mouth. gojo laughs at itadori’s passion for the hotel food, while doing the same as he takes a large bite of a pancake.

you chuckle, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back in your cushioned chair, already finished with your 3rd plate of breakfast. i mean, who could blame you? hotel breakfast food just hits a different type of way.

“so, spill all the juicy events that happened last night, i wanna know!” nobara nudges you excitedly, her eyes twinkling as she pulls her chair closer to yours.

rolling your eyes, you look away from the ginger female and pretend to not have heard her. accidentally, you were now faced towards megumi, sitting on the opposite side of you. your eyes met for a brief moment before you quickly turned away, breaking the awkward interaction.

“aww— c’mon, y/n! please—“

“nothing happened at all! and don’t think i forgot the way you ignored my knocks on your door yesterday,” you shot her a glare, earning a sheepish laugh in return.

“but... in the same bed..?”

you were about to retort back when gojo stands up and claps his hand over his stomach, which now seemed just… a few sizes bigger.

“alright! have we all finished our food? god, when did hotel food get so good— anyway, it’s time to pack our things and head back home!” your constantly enthusiastic teacher exclaims, as a waiter comes to collect your plates.

after thanking the waiter and paying the bill (poor gojo-sensei’s wallet), you all head back upstairs to drive back home.

a thick silence hangs over your room as you and megumi collect your items, not wanting to bring up any events from last night. finally ready to head out, you walk towards the door to open it until another hand reaches the handle at the same time.

you retract your hand quickly, while the other hand lingers in the air above the knob.

“oh— sorry, you can go first!” you gulp, backing up a bit so megumi can exit first.

he pauses for a second, twisting the knob until the door pulls open. you expected him to walk out, but he makes his way to the other side of you instead, still holding the door open.

you look over at him with a questioning look, receiving a slight shrug and a hint of a smirk.

“ladies first.”

why was his stupid face so handsome?

you shook your head at his teasing expression, making your way out the door to the carpeted hallway, him following close behind.

the others were already at the lobby waiting, their conversation becoming clearer as you reach them.

“what’s taking them both so long? you don’t think they’re too busy… y’know…” nobara’s usual cheerful voice carries her words to your ears, making you roll your eyes and spook her from being.

“boo.”

“i’m just sayin- oh my go—“ she frantically turns around, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing it was just you.

“you scared me!”

“what were we talking about?”

“nothing important! come on, we should get going!” nobara nudges gojo and itadori ahead, escaping you as she scurries out of the lobby.

you hear a yawn from behind you, a tuft of black hair moving past you as you suppress the urge to laugh at megumi’s already messy hairstyle, amplified by his morning bed hair.

finally, you were all seated back in gojo’s car, ready to drive back to the school so you all can head back to your own homes.

the ride back was full of gojo’s irritating voice singing along to songs playing from the car radio, itadori laughing along, and the rest of you too excited to leave the car.

“alright kids! we’re here, make sure to be safe on the way back home!”

gojo waves to all of you as you hop out of his car one by one, basking in the cool summer air for a few seconds.

“see you guys!”

itadori jogs away, heading in the direction of his own home, followed by megumi, then nobara, and lastly, you.

upon reaching your house, your mother welcomes you, asking about your day, if you had fun, and other typical mother questions.

you were telling her about your day when you suddenly recalled the hotel night events, and scurried away embarrassed upstairs to your room, leaving a very confused mom behind.

you flop down onto the bed, face down, wanting to get a good few minutes of quiet nap time in before your phone dings with a notification.

grunting, you pull your phone out from your pocket, swiping across the screen to check the message.

surprisingly, it was from megumi, eyebrows suspiciously raising as you open the text message from him. you two rarely texted unless it was about school or business-related, so you couldn’t think of anything he would need from you right now.

megumi : Hey.

megumi : I have your hair tie with me. You probably left it in my bag or something.

megumi : I’m coming over in 5 minutes.

you sat up abruptly, rereading his messages to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

you had been so caught up with his prior messages that you failed to register that he said he was going to be at your house in… 5 minutes.

hurriedly, you swiped to see what time he had sent that last message. 12:34 AM.

your eyes moved to the top of your phone screen, reading the current time. 12:37 AM.

almost falling out of bed scrambling to your room mirror, you checked your appearance to make sure you looked fine and your hair wasn’t messy and-

you paused.

“why am i so concerned about how i look? why do i care about this?”

you slapped your face with both hands, bringing yourself back to reality when you were interrupted again, but this time by your doorbell ringing from downstairs.

making your way out of your room, you saw that your mom had already opened the door with a familiar tall figure standing in the doorway.

“oh! megumi, it’s been a while!” your mom lets megumi in with a smile, already going to the kitchen to make him some tea.

he bows politely, sitting down on the couch, now changed into a loose white t-shirt with black shorts.

“uh- theres no need to make me tea, i won’t be here for too long—“

“nonsense! you can even stay for lunch, dear megumi! i just have to prepare the last dish and—“

you finally clear your throat, standing at the middle of the stairs, catching both of their attention.

“oh, y/n! i have to go out to the grocery store for some ingredients, take care of our guest megumi, alright?” she places two cups of tea on the table in front of megumi, grabbing her keys to head out.

“wait, mom—“

she sends you a wink by the door, already outside before you can finish your sentence.

you sigh in defeat, sitting across from megumi on the other couch.

“here.”

megumi pulls out a black hair tie from his pocket, almost identical to the one currently around your wrist.

you raise your eyebrows in suspicion at the hair tie. “but i only have one? and i didn’t bring any extra yesterday..?” you motion to your own arm.

he looks back and forth between your wrist and the one he had in his hand, scratching his head in confusion.

“it was in our hotel room, so i assumed it was yours.” he shrugs, placing it on the table. “but if it isn’t, i can just throw it away.”

you hum, taking a sip of the tea your mom prepared as he does the same, cringing as the still hot tea burns his tongue.

“pfft…”

he glares at you, placing the cup down as his eyes scan around your living room, taking in the decorations.

“i’ll just keep it then, it seems new.” you take the forgotten hair tie on the table, and wear it around your wrist, now decorated with two black hair ties.

he nods, sitting back against the couch, silence falling between you both.

a question suddenly popped up in your mind, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“you came all the way here… just to give me a hair tie?”

the question seems to set him a little nervous, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact as he fidgets in his seat.

“well— i figured i’d return it to you before i forgot,” he shrugs, reaching out to take another sip of his tea before pulling back quickly again at the heat.

you nod slowly, still unconvinced with his answer. who goes all the way to someone’s house to return a hair tie?

“okay then, see you on monday?” you get up, ready to send him back off.

his head snaps up, still not moving in his seat as he opens his mouth slowly, as if unsure of how to respond.

“um- i thought your mom said i could stay…for lunch…?”

he averts his eyes, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he looks away. your mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape as you recall your mom’s words and those were - in fact what she had said.

it wasn’t that you were against him staying for lunch, but you two weren’t even friends or remotely close at that. rivals would even suit you both better than friends.

“but if you want i can, uh, leave now,” he starts to stand, looking uncomfortable in his position across from you.

it was then that you remembered megumi’s background, that his mother had left early at birth, plus his father wasn’t exactly present.

you couldn’t imagine living without your parents, and how lonely he must be without true family.

“no! i mean, that’s not what i meant, you can stay.” you sputter out before he gets the wrong idea.

his eyes seem to light up at your words, nodding before sitting back down on his previous spot on the couch.

you glance over at the time on your phone, it had been around 7 minutes after your mom had left.

the tension was thick in the room, and just when you thought you were about to explode from the awkwardness, he finally breaks the silence.

“do you… play that?”

you turn to where his eyes are placed on, seeing your black xbox console laying on top of a cabinet, having been untouched for a while.

“oh that? yeah, occasionally, why?”

you hear a snicker from beside you, snapping your head to find his lips curled into a teasing grin.

“oh, i just didn’t think a nerd like you would play games.”

you raise your eyebrows at his words. “you sure about that? it doesn’t seem like you’re very good at games either, megumi.” you make sure to stretch out each three syllables of his name to tease him further.

he huffs while leaning back, still maintaining intense eye contact with you, almost challenging each other to say something back.

“how about this, whoever wins against the other gets to make them do whatever they want. no matter what it is.” he nods over to the console, tilting his head as he waits for your response.

you chuckle, standing up to take the console, fiddling with it for a moment before turning back to him.

“alright, just don’t cry when you lose too much, okay?”

he shrugs, smirking as he looks around the living room for the other console, making you remember something.

“oh, the other console plus a TV is in my room, wanna just play there?”

he stiffens suddenly, before nodding slowly and following you upstairs to your room.

reaching the door, you suddenly stop, making megumi grunt and come to a stop, almost crashing into you.

“uh - wait here.”

you open the door just enough to slip inside, quickly gathering some of your belongings and cleaning as much as you could, to at least make your room seem presentable.

“okay!” you open the door for megumi, who makes no move to enter at first.

“...”

“you can come in.”

“... is this okay?”

you cock your head, not understanding his question.

“your mom isn’t home.”

“...so?”

“we’re alone.”

“and?”

“i’m… going into your room.”

“what is your point?” you began to grow frustrated at this conversation. then, it hit you all of a sudden.

“ahh, megumi? have you never been in a girl’s room alone before?” you snicker, shaking your head from laughter.

he starts to protest, before quickly closing his mouth and finally entering your room.

you connect the two consoles into your TV in your room, sitting down on the edge of your bed as you load up the games on the screen.

“you can sit here if you want,” you pat the empty spot next to you, to which he carefully sits down on, taking one console from your hand.

“ready?”

he nods, as you start the game.

-- --

“what--?!”

you throw your hands up in frustration, groaning as you flop backwards on the bed.

“i told you, you can’t beat me.” megumi chuckles, dodging a stuffed bear you threw in his direction.

you huffed, sitting back up, determined to beat him at least once.

“one last rematch!”

he lets out a laugh, a rare one that you think you might just never forget, and starts the game again.

after a few minutes of intense clicking, yelling and laughing, you let out a proud shout, the word victory flashing across your screen.

you pick up another stuffed animal from your bed and toss it straight at megumi’s face, celebrating as he lets out an ‘oof’ and glare back at you.

“but i still won around, 7 times, so i get to make you do something- oof-” he stumbles back again from another stuffed animal to the face.

“hmm? i don’t know what you’re talking about--” you pretend to not have heard him before your vision goes momentarily black from a soft object hitting your face, a pink bear landing in your lap.

“hey!”

“what, you keep throwing them at me!”

“fine…”

“hey, why are you getting so close--!”

you tackle megumi backwards onto the bed, throwing your pillows at his face -- not very gently -- as he tries to shield his arms in vain.

“ahh—! okay, okay, i’m sorry, stop it—“ he huffs as you finally stops your attack, his dark blue orbs looking up into yours.

you only now noticed your close proximity, quickly sitting back up to create some distance between the both of you. he clears his throat, fiddling with one of your pillows.

“well, a loss is a loss, what do i have to do?” you sigh, admitting your defeat.

“hmm…” he seems to be lost in deep thought, probably trying to find the worst thing he can make you do.

after a few silent, intense seconds, he finally speaks.

“are you… free tomorrow?”

you turn to him, giving him a questioning look at his strange question. he only stares back at you in response, awaiting your answer.

“um… yeah, i’m free the whole day, why do you as-“

“come watch a movie with me tomorrow.” he blurts out quickly, not even letting you finish your sentence.

you gape at him, still processing his words, unsure if you had heard wrong.

“... sorry?”

his face was reddenning by the second, yet his eyes remained firmly on yours the whole time.

“let’s go watch the new movie in the theater. i heard it’s quite popular already despite releasing only last week.”

“oh… okay, i can ask nobara if she wants to com-“

“don’t!” he says a little too loudly, clearing his throat after as he regains his composure.

“i mean, i- just, you.”

“just.. us?”

he nods.

silence fell again between the two of you, unsure if he was asking you what you thought he was asking you. you decide to test the waters cautiously.

“man.. it’s almost like you’re asking me out on a date, megumi?” you tease lightly, expecting a ‘tch’ or an, ‘as if’.

“so what if i am?”

now that was an answer you weren’t expecting.

“you’re.. joking, right?”

megumi sighs, moving closer until his body was mere centimeters away from yours.

“i’m serious.”

“do you... like me or something?”

he stares at you blankly. “would i ask you on a date if i didn’t have feelings for you, idiot?”

you only just realize how stupid your question sounded, trying to find a response until he reaches up to cup your cheek with one hand.

they felt soft, yet slightly gruff from constant training and fighting, large enough to cover one half of your face. they were warm, slightly trembling probably from nervousness, yet made you wish he’d never take it off.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. we can forget this ever happened.” his own cheeks turning slightly pink, yours probably even worse as the space between your faces closed in slowly.

“but i don't think i can do this anymore, so just let me be a little selfish this once, okay?”

barely registering his words before he moves in to kiss you, soft lips moving against the other as his hand tightens against the side of your cheek. you barely register your own actions anymore, hands reaching up to tangle themselves in his hair, moving down to his neck, and finally finding home cupped around his face.

he groans against your lips, pressing you down until he was now hovering above you, never breaking the kiss even once in the process. you lost track of how long you both had been making out in your bed before you hear the front door open from downstairs.

frantically, the both of you separated in fear of your mom catching you in the act, catching your breaths while still processing what just happened.

you hear shuffling from downstairs, standing up to escape megumi before you were pulled back into a warm chest.

“wait—“ his arms wrap around you to trap you from leaving his grasp, your eyes looking everywhere but his, and suddenly your wall was the most interesting thing in sight.

“are we… really going to pretend that didn’t happen?” you finally gather the courage to look him in the face, almost melting at the soft pout set on his (now slightly redder than before) lips.

“ilikeyoutoo.” you get out quickly before you lose the chance to say it again.

he stiffens against you, eyes lighting up almost like an excited puppy receiving treats. “you like me? i didn’t hear you, so can you say it again?”

you huff, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms, only resulting in him pulling you closer to sit on his lap. he presses his forehead to yours, chuckling at your futile attempt to escape.

“i said— i like you—!” you ram your head into his, making him groan in pain, loosening his hold on you. the perfect chance for escape.

you saw the opportunity, dashing to the door, twisting the knob, almost getting it open until—

“nope,” megumi’s hand stops the door in time, instead twisting you around until your back was now flat against the wood, both of his palms placed beside your head.

“y/n? megumi?” your mom’s voice calls from downstairs, but all you could hear was your heartbeat thumping loudly in your chest.

“megumi! move, my mom’s home,” you place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away to no avail.

he grabs your pushing hand and places it on the left side of his chest, letting you feel the soft but fast thumping of his heart, almost matching the pace of your own.

“this is all your fault. you’re not gonna take responsibility for it?” he inches closer to your burning face, making you huff and grab his face.

you press your lips to his, feeling him immediately return the kiss, but you pull away after a few seconds, leaving him still trying to kiss you again.

“nope, my mom’s home, and i’m hungry.”

you open the door, seeing your mom begin to set the table with plates of food downstairs. you look back at megumi, who still looked sad after getting his kiss cut short.

sighing, you take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together before pulling him down the stairs.

“come on, it’s time for lunch. you’ll get more later.”

you feel him perk up, giving your hand a squeeze as he follows close behind.

you steal a glance at your wrist, still wearing both the hair ties. good thing he hadn’t noticed you stuffing one into his bag this morning.

[ginkgomoon]

Victor and the Time Observers- Analysis

It’s finally here! This post is based on a question asked about the Time Observers and what their relations with Victor was! I deeply apologise to the anon for this response taking too long. I wanted each of my posts to be able to reach a standard where it’s adequate enough to satisfy me and most importantly the readers. Contains lots of spoilers, please do not read if you would not like to be exposed to future content! Here we go! ⏱

The Observer Effect definition-

"The observer effect is the disturbance of an observed system by the act of observation."

Who are the Time Observers?

“What is “intervention”, “correction”, “destiny”? Can we really figure out the mystery behind it?”

The Time Observers is an independent third party under the Space and Time Administration. They can travel through time and even tap can even tap into multiple universes/dimensions, such as when seeing MC in Behind the Curtain and when she travels to another universe in the Winter World. They are seen to be using pocket watches as their transportation tickets to other worlds in each timeline.

They were there in the 1908 White House explosion- where Evol was created, where to which Lucien states, “from then on, many futures have already been decided”. This was due to a comet hitting Earth which created a mini-black hole at the same time from the attack of an American hacker who could transmit data through laser pulses. Grandpa Chuck, the original Helios, and the Time Observers were all there. Soft piano music can be heard when they appear.

“Please stop spreading information about the explosion. Your actions have already affected the progress of this world. Someone has become aware of our presence.”

Victor: “Your people aren’t the only ones who can alter the future, Time Observer.”

“You misunderstand. We never alter, we are correctors of history. We want you to join us, your power’s scope of influence has already surpassed the dimension of this current world. Before you are rejected by it…”

Victor: “I will not leave this world.”

“Even if you’ve seen the future of what is all to pass?”

Victor: “No matter what happens, the person I’m seeking for is right here.” -Chapter 6 Black Curtain

Space and Time Administration

“You’re becoming more like the Victor I am familiar with.”

"Really, what’s he like?”

“Powerful enough to control anything… including time.”

The Space and Time Administration is an observation agency independent of all forces. They are noted for not having a guide or workbook- they just know what to do through their observations day by day. Their work is to observe and note statistics of time changes in the timelines, and the butterfly effect that each one produces. (Apparently more than 90% are negative.) Ultimately, their goal to stable the operations of the different worlds on all timelines.

Since Victor’s Evol is strong and has the capability to do more than the Time Observers, he is the one who is deemed the most suitable and more responsible for “grasping the time in the past and the future”. Ever since STF found out about Victor’s Evol, they wanted him to cooperate with them too, because every time he stops time, certain surrounding energy and space changes.

The organisation also entertains the idea of fate, and how things should be refused to be changed. Since they have “seen the future of how the world ends”, they want Victor in cooperating with them in making it stop. Nobody can rewrite the ending among them, except him. Victor refuses to joining because he doesn’t adhere to this idea.

“QUEEN’s return has brought unexpected consequences; the entire collapse of the world is ahead of schedule. The world’s line has come to an end, no matter through time or space, we can no longer interfere in this world.” Was there a difference in letting each world go to the end alone to close all the world lines in the future directly?

Victor: "But since the responsibility of the Space and Time Administration is to prevent the person who rewrites the world ending, don’t you think I am this kind of person? Moreover, the existence of time is objective, but the negative effects are subjective. I doubt 90% of your statistical results.”

"Nobody can maintain the critical value of the stable operation that each world line has reached. Everyone thinks they have done it. In the end, destruction is coming. We are not looking for anything, we are just waiting, waiting for what should happen when it comes to happen.”

ZERO

“In 1908, there was an explosion at the White House in the United States. There were no casualties, but the people there testified that there was no explosion.”

Amongst them, there was a man who looked familiar, but Victor couldn’t remember whether he had met him somewhere or not. He was gripping a pocket watch. Then, the young man left the spot.

The Time Observer Zero in the organisation is one most familiar with Victor, and had observed Victor travel through multiple timelines, consoling with him about his “failures”. He sympathises with him as he believes that the fate of the world cannot be changed, even if Victor tires himself to try otherwise.

“Now the world line is collapsing one by one, we’re running out of time. We can tell you where she is now.”

Time Observers can seemingly also allow others to see into different worlds too, almost how Grandpa Chuck can create and travel into different pocket glass dimensions, but not permanently enter inside. Zero personally lets Victor in.

“You should be aware of the consequences for doing this.”

“I said, my purpose is only one.”

Victor’s tone revealed unquestionable certainty. Zero willingly approached him with his hands stretched out to him.

“However, other matters are my own decision.” -Chapter 18 Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 33-34 Rumours and Secrets

"I’m wondering what happened in the in between- is it the decision of time or is someone interfering?”

He had told me that there was a group of people in the world waiting on various timelines to revise history.

“But amending the fact that has been changed, is it a course of “correction”, or just another “change?”

“But in any case, the end point of all timelines points all the same -this has not changed from the beginning.”

“Her destiny is tied to all timelines and she must walk into the only ending with this world.”

"You are also different.”

Although we found a breakthrough, this situation really caused us a lot of headaches: she who should not have survived and she should not have been sent to other worlds. As a result, it would seriously interfere and disrupt the timeline. No one had done it before, and no one except Victor could do it.

In disbelief, we weighed it and threw the olive branch- as long as he is willing to cooperate, we will help him find her. As decisive as he was to refuse a few times before, this time he had promised me without thinking. And for a moment, I didn’t know if his decisiveness was good or bad.

Once they had seen that MC was able to defy all odds in coming back alive and en route to becoming QUEEN, they were willing to fully accept Victor's decisions and perseverance on MC and why she was so important to saving their world, instead of him.

Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets

Occasionally, Victor would visit the organisation and observe his hometown world, before Judgement Day. They watch as other worlds collapse and fade away.

Time is best at consuming people’s patience. He will understand that in accordance to the next decade, a century, a thousand years, that the world is just one of our many observation objects. At the end of limitless time- the only thing we can’t do is to change the past that doesn’t belong to us.

Victor doesn’t care about this price- he is more concerned with whether he can prevent the death of the girl in every unpredictable future.

"At least only in the Space and Time Administration can you repair your abilities. This, you know better than me.”

“But you can be rest assured that even if you still intend to return to that world after the deadline, the time flow rate there is a month. But if you stay here, you can continue to look for that ending.”

At that moment, full of hope and courage, I crossed the timeline again without hesitation. This time, he accepted Zero’s invitation.

The white crown slowly fell on the girl’s head, and the thin shadow almost turned into a phantom in the white light.

“The person who can save the world… is not me, but her. As for myself, I know my ending line and how much pain I can bear better than anyone. I would rather take such a risk.”

Zero looked at him without a word, and sighed heavily for a long time.

“Time is up.”

Judgement day arrives- to trigger the beginning of Season 2.

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-24 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19  ♦️ ♦️  7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

Content Warning: This section contains topics that may be uncomfortable to some readers (mentions of abuse). Please proceed with discretion. 

Vincent found out about the relation between Hang Fei and the boss of the Abyss bar through the moon ornament in Room 1001. The boss requested to see Marius and stated that he had important information. After thinking things over several times, Marius and I decided to meet him as agreed upon.

 Abyss Bar

There was no one in the bar when Marius and I arrived.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, Miss Lawyer, please come this way.

The boss pointed us to a spot in front of the bar table. We sat as he indicated.

Marius: You must be the one that Vincent said wanted to meet me?

Bar Boss: You’re being quite direct, Master von Hagen. Shouldn’t you exchange a few pleasantries with me?

Marius: My time’s precious, and I don’t want to use it to speak in a roundabout way with you.

Marius: Tell me, what do you want?

Bar Boss: Nothing major – I simply want Master von Hagen to owe me a “favour”.

The boss took a document envelope from under the cabinet and placed it in front of Marius and me.

Bar Boss: Including that foster care contract from before, these are all of the Hang family’s secrets.

Bar Boss: As long as you get this, all of your current questions will be answered.

Marius: You told Vincent that you got these because Hang Fei owed you money.

Marius didn’t follow along with the boss. Instead, he changed directions.

Marius: What happened between you and Hang Fei?

Bar Boss: Nothing much. Hang Fei merely spent some money here, but ended up unable to pay up.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, you’re also a businessman, so you should get that no one can enjoy a service without paying up, right?

Bar Boss: So I thought up of a compromise for him.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Hang Fei: B-boss, give me a few more days. I’ll definitely get all the money needed.

Hang Fei looked at the few guards around the boss, starting to mumble subconsciously.

Bar Boss: Mister Hang, you’ve been dragging this on for a long time. Time waits for no one.

Hang Fei: No, boss, please just trust me once more and give me more time. I’ll definitely get you the money this time.

Hang Fei: I can go get them…

The boss looked at Hang Fei, his eyes moving back and forth.

Bar Boss: Mister Hang, after seeing your sincerity, I do have another idea to give you time.

Hang Fei: What idea?

Bar Boss: In this world, there are things worth more than money, such as… secrets.

Bar Boss: If you can find a secret like this as temporary collateral… I don’t mind collecting my “service fees” a little later.

Hang Fei: …

Hang Fei went silent for a moment.

Hang Fei: I do have secrets like this – they even have to do with me.

Hang Fei: If this secret were exposed, I wouldn’t even be able to continue living.

Hang Fei: Boss, this is temporarily sufficient, isn’t it?

Bar Boss: Of course. If you give it to me, I can give you more time.

[Flashback]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Marius: …

MC: Boss, to be frank, this is extortion.

Bar Boss: Extortion? Miss, you’re exaggerating.

Bar Boss: I merely wanted the money that Hang Fei owed me – this is what I’ve done for so many years.

Bar Boss: And no one’s ever been able to lay a finger on me.

MC: You…

Bar Boss: Plus, what Hang Fei has done is much worse than me.

Marius: What did Hang Fei do?

Bar Boss: After the first time he left these things as collateral, he quickly found Xu Yin and the other “protagonist of the secret”, then extorted them of money.

Bar Boss: He immediately gave this money to me and got his secrets back. But…

Bar Boss: He started to get “addicted”, maybe because of the “sweetness” of that particular experience…

Bar Boss: Whenever he owed me money, he’d leave the “secrets” as collateral, then would once again extort those two of their money.

Bar Boss: At the end, he even demanded money from those two that far exceeded the amount owned, for his own frivolous squandering…

Bar Boss: See, aren’t I much more law-abiding than he is?

MC: …

MC: (Although, this does explain why Hang Fei’s family life didn’t deteriorate, despite his gambling.)

Bar Boss: How about it, Master von Hagen? Want to do business with me?

Bar Boss: You just need to owe me a favour to get what you want – it’s a great deal.

Marius: Oh? You know what it is that I want?

Bar Boss: Of course. What you want…

The boss looked at Marius, then at me.

Bar Boss: Has to do with Hang Fei’s daughter, Hang Jiahe, correct?

MC: …

Marius: How did you know?

Bar Boss: Master Lu, aren’t you curious about why I wasn’t stressed at all, despite Hang Fei’s half-year disappearance?

Marius: …

Bar Boss: That’s because someone was repaying money “for” him.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

January 29th.

Bar Boss: You’re right, Hang Fei did leave some things as collateral here.

The boss looked at the woman in front of him, his smile as steadfast as ever.

Bar Boss: But, Miss Hang, you won’t be able to take those things just because you’re his daughter.

Bar Boss: If you want to take those things, then return the money first.

Hang Jiahe: How much does he owe?

Bar Boss: This much.

The boss drew out a number.

Hang Jiahe: This much?!

Bar Boss: I’ll give you those things as long as you repay the money, Miss Hang.

Hang Jiahe: How would I be able to take out this much money right now?!

Bar Boss: Then…

Bar Boss: Like your father, Miss Hang, you can use secrets as collateral.

Bar Boss: You must be someone who also knows many secrets.

Hang Jiahe: …

Hang Jiahe lowered her head in thought.

Hang Jiahe: I can’t. The things I know can be used elsewhere.

Hang Jiahe: Boss, please give me some more time. I’ll definitely get enough money within half a year to a full year.

Hang Jiahe: Within this time, please don’t give these things to anyone else.

Hang Jiahe: I can hand over some money right now as a deposit.

Bar Boss: Ah, alright. I’ve never rejected the pleas of a beauty.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Marius: …

MC: (Based on Hang Jiahe’s actions, it seems like the boss really does have what we need.)

Bar Boss: How about it, the two of you? Have you thought things over?

Bar Boss: With all I’ve said, you must believe that what I have is what you need.

MC: As the condition you gave to Hang Jiahe was paying money, we can also pay you money.

Bar Boss: That was the condition for Hang Jiahe, not you two.

Bar Boss: My condition for you is something more valuable…  that is, a promise from Master von Hagen.

MC: …

I snuck a glance at Marius. But he looked completely calm, even somewhat disinterested.

Marius: Thank you for the information you’ve given us. I will have Vincent compensate you shortly.

Marius: Let’s end things here for today.

Marius then tugged me up from my seat to leave.

Bar Boss: Wait, Marius von Hagen, don’t you want what’s in the bag?

Marius: I do, but I hate being threatened even more.

Marius: I seriously doubt that there’s anything in the world that Pax can’t find out about.

Bar Boss: Of course you’d be able to find out about it with the power of Pax – but you have no time.

MC: What do you mean?

Bar Boss: You’ve already met Hang Jiahe, haven’t you? Plus, I bet that the police have already overturned the charges against Wang Chunchong.

Marius: …

Bar Boss: Then, did you know that Hang Jiahe suddenly came here yesterday with a large sum of money, and bought away a portion of the things in this bag?

MC: !!!

Bar Boss: I saw that she looked very anxious, so I warned her – out of the goodness of my heart – that it would be best to not destroy it for now.

Bar Boss: These are unusual times, after all…

Bar Boss: Based on how she reacted, she listened to me, but…

Bar Boss: Say, if I called her right now and told her everything that just happened…

Bar Boss: How would she deal with those things?

MC: …

Marius: …

Though we didn’t want to admit it, what the boss had just mentioned was at the very bottom of the list of things we wanted to happen.

Marius: …

Marius looked around. When his sight swept over the bar table, he stopped for a moment. Seeming like he’d thought of something, he spoke with a smile.

Marius: If so, boss, would you perhaps be interested in playing a game with me?

MC: !!!

Marius: If I win, you give those things to me unconditionally, but if I lose…

Marius: We’ll go with your deal – I get those things, and I’ll owe you a favour. As long as it isn’t illegal, I can help you once in the future.

Marius: Also, you cannot tell Hang Jiahe about what happened between us today.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, you sure have thought things through – no matter what the result is, you can still take those things away.

Marius: But this is your one opportunity to establish a relationship with me and Pax, isn’t it?

Bar Boss: … What do you want to play?

Marius: Since this is a bar, you must have dice here.

Marius: One die per person. Whoever throws the higher number wins. How about it?

Bar Boss: I’m fine with it, but Master von Hagen, I have never lost this game. Are you sure you want to play it with me?

Marius: We haven’t even played yet, so who knows who the winner will be? Plus, isn’t it better if you win?

Bar Boss: Alright, then.

The boss took out two dice and two wooden dice holders, giving one each to Marius and himself.

Bar Boss: One round decides all. Then, let’s…

MC: Wait. I have to inspect the dice and holders.

Bar Boss: …

Bar Boss: Alright, please do, miss.

The boss gave all items to me. I examined the two holders – nothing stood out to me. But when I examined the two dice, I noticed a slight difference between the two of them.

MC: …

MC: This…

Marius: No abnormalities, right, great lawyer?

I was just about to speak when Marius cut me short. He winked at me, as if hinting something. I understood.

MC: No abnormalities. Please start.

Bar Boss: Then, Master von Hagen, one round decides all. Go ahead.

Marius and the boss cast their dice simultaneously. The night-coloured holders flew up and down in Marius’ hand as the die slammed on the walls of the holder, creating a clear sound.

Clack.

Both of them sealed off the holders simultaneously.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, open?

Marius: Wait.

Marius pressed down on both holders.

Marius: I will confirm again – you haven’t forgotten the conditions from before, have you?

Bar Boss: Of course. The one with more dots wins.

Marius: Good.

Marius opened the two holders. The two dice displayed a massive difference in dots.

Bar Boss: This… impossible!

Marius: I got 6, you got 1… looks like my luck’s pretty decent.

MC: You won!

Bar Boss: …

The boss looked at the dice and pondered for a moment.

Bar Boss: Hah… as expected of Master von Hagen. I lost.

Marius: Hand those things over.

Bar Boss: Don’t worry, I won’t go back on a deal. Here you go.

Bar Boss: Although… aside from that psychiatrist, it’s been a very long time since I’ve experienced this feeling of defeat.

Bar Boss: I can’t help wondering if you know him.

Marius: You’re overthinking.

MC: …

Marius took the file envelope and tugged me up, preparing to leave the bar.

Bar Boss: Also, I’d like to let you know that there is a portable hard drive and several photos in the envelope.

Bar Boss: There’s a connection between the contents of the hard drive and the photos.

Bar Boss: Hang Jiahe bought a portion of the hard drive’s contents.

Bar Boss: And she appears the most in the photos.

Marius: Noted.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

In Marius’ Car

When we returned to Marius’ car, I couldn’t help showing how excited I was.

MC: Marius, you were way too awesome just now!

Marius: No big deal – just some insignificant talents.

MC: But how did you win? The boss’s die…

Marius: You probably also noticed when inspecting them that his die was heavier than mine.

MC: Yeah, so I was wondering if there was something placed in it.

Marius: In that die, right behind the 1 dot, there’s a magnet.

Marius: When shaking the die, as long as the boss secretly holds another magnet…

Marius: He’d be able to use the opposite attractive force and the relative locations of the different dots to throw a result he wants.

MC: But if so, shouldn’t he have cast a 6? How did it end up as a 1?

Marius: About that…

Marius spread his left hand at me. There was a little brooch there, with a magnet at the bottom of it.

MC: !!!

Marius: Since I know how he plans to cheat, I naturally have to counterattack.

Marius: So before he revealed his die, I touched his holder.

Marius: Thanks to my magnet, the die will change again.

MC: Oh… then how did you cast a 6?

Marius: About that… even the rich sons of the so-called upper class can’t evade the allure of dice.

Marius: I do have to learn a few things to maintain my indulgent rich son persona.

Marius: There’s a certain method to guarantee a chance of rolling the amount you want.

MC: Is that so…

Marius: Mere little skills – nothing to show off about.

Marius: Let’s not talk about these for now – instead, we should see what’s in the envelope.

I opened the envelope, taking out a stack of photos and a portable hard drive.

MC: H-how could this…

Marius: …

When I saw what was in the photos, my hands started to tremble. 

There were many photos of children, most of whom were around 6 or 7, and their bodies were covered in numerous purple marks. The photos were taken in hidden, dark conditions from awkward angles, and those children, who should have been running free under the sun, had faces covered with tears. Each one held old toys covered in dust, and some toys were even missing sections, looking utterly broken.

MC: Marius, aren’t these toys the same ones as the ones we saw in the Room 1001 toy display cabinet?

Marius: Yes.

MC: Could it be that… Hang Fei would collect these toys for his own enjoyment?

Marius: Or maybe these toys were what Hang Fei used to kidnap them.

Marius: But regardless of which it is, based on what the boss said, what’s in this hard drive…

MC: The contents have to do with the photos… these photos come from the contents of the hard drive…

MC: Against these children, did Hang Fei…

Were these children victims of Hang Fei’s abuse?!

I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

Marius: It’s not just children – there are also photos of Qi Yu. The only difference is that she’s not holding any toys.

Marius: Also, just as the boss said, one child appears particularly often in the photos.

Marius: If this child really is Hang Jiahe, then…

MC: We’ve found Hang Jiahe’s motive for murdering Hang Fei.

[Obtained Photos of Abused Children]

[Obtained Portable Hard Drive]

[lore-of-the-silvereyes-rwby]

Ironwood Summary

Here we are at last the final conclusion of this long character analysis series, for now. This is mostly going to be my own opinion of the character based on the research I did for the analysis. As well as some ideas of what may happen to the character in future volumes and overall standing of what the character was always meant to be and represent in the rwby narrative. Also keep in mind that this is only an analysis of Ironwood’s character pre Volume 8 so there won’t be any spoilers used in this analysis or summary

(Before we begin i want to thank @spacecapart for his art to be used in this summary as i feel this piece summarizes how i feel about Ironwood)

When I started researching and writing on July 31st 2020  for Ironwood and the months that followed I feel like I have gained a better understanding of what exactly Ironwood’s character was meant to be while making sure my overall opinion of him wasn’t biased but honest and neutral. 

For the most part Ironwood’s life was just sad because, well it was never really his to begin with, since he pretty much had no say in it. Based on what I saw and learned about him with the help of additional lore as well as the current story Ironwood was just a tool and a plot device in the narrative.

He started as a tool for Mantle(pre Atlas) which planted the seeds that made him this cold inhuman person that we see at present due to its old toxic ideologies of imperialism and militarism combined with a Nietzsche's philosophy that survives and thrives through Ironwood once he become a de facto king when Atlas became an official kingdom.

Then he became a tool for Oz to protect and safeguard the current status quo without benefiting from it. Though it was with good intentions Ironwood couldn’t help but feel insulted that he was being restricted and kept in check by someone who does not share his belief or ideals of what he considers right even though they weren't his beliefs or the best to begin with.

Finally after all was said and done he became a tool for the very enemy that he swore to fight and defend against. Due to his toxic upbringing in Atlas and his bitter resentment for Oz he tried to take matters in his own hands only for it to backfire immensely into the events that we see in the show. As I Stated in “The Hero that was never meant to be” Ironwood was more or less the most prominent catalyst for all of the events and conflicts in the show that Salem took advantage of and prospered from simply due to Ironwood’s elitist and violent mindset.

All of this just contributes to Ironwood being a plot device since that he’s essentially just a philosophical mouthpiece for Atlas as the show has somewhat made it clear that he is basically the physical embodiment of Atlas if it were a person with both a voice and need to survive. Which wouldn’t be so bad if Atlas wasn’t the Remnant equivalent of a fasciest imperialist dystopia. Most of Ironwood’s character flaws mostly stem from the fact that his is simply the product of his origins and refusing to change or find a compromise for the better.

Another thing that I believe should be taken into consideration is his overall effect in the plot. Added by how the narrative has been structured with its main conflict I think it's safe to assume that no matter what, Ironwood was always a character that was set to fail ever since his introduction. This is mostly due to the fact that most if not all of his power comes from control and authority over others. As well as his lack of actual experience when it comes to war and conflict. 

As I stated in I am power with my own estimate of Ironwood’s age(47-50) based on his rank’s promotion requirements he has at least 30 years of experience from both his huntsmen and military career: 34 if we were to count his academy days of training. Now you're probably asking; “If he has that many years of experience in his career, then why are you saying he has none?” Well it is quite simple based on 2 factors; his professions and the time that he was born in.

At present he is both Headmaster of Atlas academy and the Atlas equivalent of the joint chiefs of staff of the Military. I think it's logical to assume that Ironwood gained the status of Headmaster first and General later due the needs of Oz. Given the importance of the relics hidden in the academies it would be a pragmatic choice for Oz to ensure that there was always a guardian and supervisor over the vaults as well as training the worlds next gen huntsmen(the agreed upon nuclear deterrent). 

Since his profession shifted from field combat to school administration upon becoming headmaster most if not all of Ironwood’s career from this point on saw very little combat opportunities and would soon be filled with politics once he became General further diminishing his combat skills. Also since Generals are the face of the military they mostly handle diplomatic and public affairs as well as deal with civilian contractors to ensure the military has the resources and gear needed to sustain itself.

This means that Ironwood went from fare soldier, to desk jockey, to financial benefactor throughout the entirety of his 30 year long career. But the two thirds of his later career  basically had no relevant or beneficial experience that would be suited for the war that he had been preparing a long time for. Ironwood’s lack of practical experience is also more damaging when you realize that the very little he did have also wouldn’t be of much help in the first place as well.

This is mostly due to the fact that Ironwood was born at the beginning of the high golden age of peace and prosperity for Mantle/Atlas and all of the concerning conflicts happening at least 5 years before the show’s start very late in his career at an estimated age of 45, with the white fang terrorists groups targeting SDC assets that he wanted for war. 

Also his career at that point most likely focused on policing and enforcing Atlasian laws rather than doing actual combat and even then he was trained to fight grimm instead of human combatants and even if he had to fight people they most likely are that of combat inexperienced and petty criminals that wouldn’t actually put up that much of a challenge and even then most of the fighting was done by disposable robots that he can command  with the press of a button.

Overall Ironwood was really unprepared to even fight anyone in general, let alone wage a war against Salem. Even if he had powered up that army to the maximum it really wouldn’t solve anything. Ever since the first episode of the series the message was clear; You're not going to win with just strength and power alone, but with acts of mercy and honesty. As well as just enjoying the simple things in life and just simply living life rather than just surviving. After all this time Ironwood forgot to live life and be satisfied with what he had. Because of this he’s just going to keep on pushing the limit until he loses everything that he has and drag everyone else with him. Simply because he wouldn’t admit to himself that he has no idea about what to do or accept that he wasn’t the most important piece on the board.

Which sadly brings me to the very likely truth that it is guaranteed that Ironwood’s part and time in the story is coming to an end and his death is drawing near. This has been foreshadowed in the beginning of volume 6 where the true plot and crisis of the story had basically made Atlas and by extension Ironwood irrelevant to the story when it's been made clear they can’t just simply kill Salem and win with brute force as he had hoped. Because of that Ironwood was no longer important to the story as they show and fandom have hyped him up to be. Even if he still had an actual role in the plot I’m afraid to say that Ironwood’s story (even if it wasn’t that much) has already been told and judging by the direction he is going by it’s only going to get worse for his character (moraly wise) to the point that his death may be a blessing in disguise for remnant.

To start we need to look at the essential core concepts that make up Ironwood’s character. If we remove all of his actions and focus on his archetypes we get a character that is A) Half robot, B) the de facto leader of an inefficient military(let's be honest it's just a glorified security force for rich douchebags.) C) A school principal and D) someone who essentially hails from what can be considered the most evil and inhuman kingdom of his world that values power and is placed into a story and conflict where none of those things even matter given what we know about the true stakes and consequences of the plot and this is essentially all that we even know about him in relation to the story.

Which brings me to this point that in my opinion he wasn’t much of a character to begin with. This is mostly due to the fact that we really don’t know anything about him besides the summarized 4 points from the last section. We don’t know anything about him like how he became involved in the plot, how old he is, when and what caused him to be a cyber, does he have anyone outside of work or any family that he cares about and more importantly why does he fight in the first place and what motivates him to do so and what does he hope to gain? These details to me are important as to give depth to a character as to better understand why they are the way they are. Otherwise they are either a philosophical mouthpiece or a living ideological caricature. As I stated before in Ironwood’s case he is just that for Atlas, just a simple tool that it can use for whatever it needs.

Which also brings up another subject towards his contributions to the plot; What exactly can he do and was he really even that important to begin with? As I stated before Ironwood really doesn’t have much to offer besides the Military which has been proven to be useless and unneeded. But if it was to be needed that doesn’t automatically mean Ironwood should be the one leading it. For example should he be removed from power and replaced and the heroes really need the military wouldn’t it be simple just to involve the new commander and chief or appoint someone they can trust to ally with them. So yeah the military part as well as the academy are what give an individual like Ironwood any relevance but that doesn't automatically mean they’re that important or crucial to begin with.

Simply put Ironwood has always been a character in the wrong genre. Had he been placed in any other circumstance he may have had a point and could have succeeded but in the case of his story he doesn’t have one. Ever since his debut he has always been this source of contradictions and antagonism and contrast when it comes to how the world and characters have been set. Due to this Ironwood has always been this source of escalation and conflict as he only follows his own beliefs and tries to force others to comply with them. As well as the truth that he really has no idea of what to do since he was never really prepared to handle anything like this and added by the fact that he won’t admit or consider the possibility that he is not that needed or important. If he continues on with this type of thinking it's only going to warrant his end as simply put by Oscar he really is just as dangerous as Salem.

Before I explain his overall purpose and status in the Narrative I want to go over several ideas for what may be next for Ironwood throughout the rest of the series which will be explained further by the reasoning I will use in the narrative part. 

Fate and status for Volume 8 and the rest of the series

Death

I think it's safe to say that Death flags have been hovering over Ironwood for a while or at least since Volume 7. But is it certain? Most likey. I say it’s near mostly due to my belief that his story has essentially been told and he really doesn’t have anything left to contribute to the plot at this point. The impact of his death whether it will leave a positive or negative impact remains uncertain. But the way of his death to me is certain; he’s going to die by the hands of another character(specifically a hero). I know most people would have hoped for a heroic sacrifice or a redemption by death but I don’t exactly see Ironwood doing such things. (Which I’ll explain in the next 2 bullet points)

If it hasn’t been made clear Ironwood has made more enemies than allies simply due to his inability to compromise or let go of his Atlasian ideals and ego. As well as his refusal to accept the fact that he really isn’t that important or necessary in this conflict or at least in the way he wanted to be. If he further descends into his own little world Ironwood is going to cause more problems and do more damage that can never be undone and the only way to stop it would be if he was out of the picture. Because of this Ironwood is likely to die in V8 or by the end of the Atlas arc but it is also possible that he may die at another point later in the series.

Redemption Arc

The chances for Ironwood’s redemption are slim but they’re there, but probably not in the usual way that everyone expects to happen. To help clarify the possibility of redemption we will be using the trifecta structure of redemption arcs. This includes; How the character sees himself, how they see the world, and the stakes and how they change over time. As well as the Scale and Values of his motivation. To help better understand let us take a look at Ironwood’s motivations and goals from V2 and how they contrast and differ from V7 Ironwood.

Volume 2 Ironwood’s motivations upon first glance are simple; stop the threat and ensure stability and security. However if you watch closely there is an ulterior motive. From this we can determine the true Values of his goals and the Scale of what he is willing to do to achieve them and they go as such;

His values as of V2 are security via large Military foundations and amassing complete control and influence over forign nations while promoting the agendas of Atlas imperialism.(similar to the Galactic empire in its early years from Star Wars) With the scale showing that he is willing to go to such lengths as propaganda and political manipulation and betraying allies to get what he wants(the greatest example of this being subverting control from Ozpin)

From this we know that Ironwood sees himself as this perfect savior that can do no wrong and should be the one in charge. While his views of the world being that everything is below him unless they match those of Atlas. With the stakes at the time being the possibility of losing imperial expansion and the threat of domination from a superior force that could shatter the foundations of his ideology and culture. 

While Volume 7 Ironwood’s motivations being; whatever it takes to preserve his perfect and ideal society even if it means sacrificing everything else before his valued culture is destroyed.

The values of this Ironwood definitely differ from previous versions of the character. As V7 Ironwood’s motivations have shifted from saving lives and defending them from Salem to preserving the very little bastion of control and authority that he has over Atlas. With the scale showing that he is willing to turn on allies and go as far as to abandon a whole heavily populated city and potentially the rest of the world in order to preserve the one thing that he has complete and unconditional control over.

Because of this a lot of Ironwood’s views have changed by the end of V7. 

Due to his streak of recent failures his views of himself changed from being the perfect leader that he thought he was, to accepting reality that he isn’t said leader and is prone to failure. However because of that thinking he no longer feels that he should hold himself to that set standard anymore and do what he thinks is needed to get his desired results. Which leads to the fact that he still views himself as the one that should be in charge but this time he does not feel compelled to be fair or considerate of either allies or people.

His views of the world really haven’t changed as much. He is just more honest, open and direct about his views by V7’s end where it's pretty clear that he values his military industrial complex that is Atlas over people's lives regardless of their affiliation.(It should be noted that Mantle is still apart of the Kingdom of Atlas as a whole so consider the fact that he is abandoning the part of it he deems is an acceptable loss without even trying to save it)

But the greatest and significant of changes for Ironwood in the plot are the stakes. Prior to being told the truth about Salem’s immortality he honestly thought that he could win and kill her and be free to pursue whatever task he could set his mind to now that she was gone. After being told and with the clear indication that his power(Atlas) was at risk he essentially is doing what raven did; cut his losses and settle with what he has and run. As such the stakes for Ironwood at this point are to preserve the very little power and control that he has currently at his disposal and sacrifice and do whatever he can’t to maintain it even if it means letting the rest of the world die or be under Salem's control.

This is just speculation but Ironwood’s chances for redemption are pretty slim but not impossible. But the key start and major factors to make that redemption possible is for him to yield power and let go of Atlas. As I stated before, Ironwood relies heavily on his control over Atlas as he believes it to be the only means to maintain and sustain a war as well as the only way of  enforcing his authority. To reiterate Ironwood true power and relevance to the story is his complete and unchallenged command over the Kingdom of Atlas and at the risk of sounding cliche; “All who obtain power are afraid to lose it even a hero” If there is to be any hope of defeating Salem and or maintaining peace in Remnant it can not happen with Ironwood being in power. Which may be more difficult than it seems which leads us to the possibility that he may not be redeemed and should he live past the Salem conflict with this type of thinking.

A New Enemy

For a character to be redeemed the character needs to want change for better but given his personality and recent events Ironwood at this point doesn’t feel or believe that he should change as he now has an ends justify the means mentality with the belief that he is this grand savior believing his way is the only way. Because of this it is very likely that he may stay an antagonist throughout the remainder of the series and possibly long after the main conflict.

The Third Faction; Okay I think it's a safe bet to say that no matter what Atlas was always going to be an antagonistic force that was being set up as early as V1. And unfortunately for Ironwood he ended up being the face and voice of said force that was there before he was ever given a name or a design.

Because of this setup it is possible that Atlas under Ironwood will become its own faction that may try to counter salem but at the same time will possibly sabotage the allies aka the main heroes and the rest of remnant since Ironwood’s paranoia has increased to the point that he doesn’t trust anyone anymore and most likely will reject any offer of aid or promise of an alliance  since Ironwood believes his in own hype that much that he will eventually become a problem that has to be stopped which will possibly lead to the end of Atlas. Which brings us to what might happen to the character post Salem and Atlas.

Post Salem Insurgency; This is speculation but it's possible that after Salem is defeated and Atlas is destroyed he would continue to be a threat for the rest of Remnant as he will be forced to answer for war crimes and step down from power with the possibility that he may never obtain it again. 

Given what we know of his personality Ironwood isn’t the type of guy to yield power or think he did anything wrong due to his ends justify the means montra. As such in the years following Salem's defeat and the possibility that Atlas may no longer exist or at the very least no longer subservient to Ironwood’s authority its most likely that he might end up in charge of a paramilitary consisting of the very few soldiers that are still loyal to him and start raiding and terrorizing settlements, cities and kingdoms all over remnant just to rebuild his military complex and infrastructure as a means to reclaim the status and power that he was stripped up.

How and why any of this would happen if it ever does is debatable but should it come to be Ironwood is going to need to compensate in order to survive if he becomes a legitimate threat which brings us to a very likely scenario based on his original inspiration 

Full Cyber

Given what happened near the end of V7 and recent V8 concept renders combined with the Tin-man inspiration I do believe that there is a very likely scenario that Ironwood will be more machine than man at some point in the series assuming he doesn’t die yet. This is pretty much a given scenario due to his favoritism for machines than people and his new found ideology that humanity is weakness now it is very likely when given the chance that Ironwood will willingly become full cybernetic(Possibly to the point of just simply being a brain in a new metal body)

 While this isn’t exactly an ideal outcome for the character but at the same time this would actually make Ironwood a credible threat as he would now be able to enforce his authority on his own now without relying on others to do it for him. Based on the research from the I am power post Ironwood is relatively a very weak character in comparison to a majority of other characters that we have seen so far and this is especially true when compared to the villains and main heroes. One key aspect to remember is that Remnant didn’t need the military only Ironwood did because on his own he’s screwed no matter what the situation.

Ironwood relies to heavily on his Army as it is the only thing that gives him some ambiance of a fighting chance but ultimately he is very ill suited to lead and manage said army that when you think of it are possibly full of people that are probably more capable than him as well as able to back up and defend their position of power on their own. Whereas Ironwood can not if he were to be overthrown by the military. In other words a fully cyberized Ironwood would actually be beneficial for him as it would make him a formidable threat beyond just simply being the guy who has the world's only military. Depending on what kind of enhancements he can get he would at least be on par with characters like Ruby Qrow and Yang and at the very best on the level of pre maiden Penny. Because as he is right now Ironwood would surely die if he were to face any character that is not within his capabilities. But this is my theory and observations but until we see more Ironwood’s best bet is going full cyber.

Role in the narrative & what we can learn from Ironwood

To start I think it's pretty clear that Ironwood in narrative is just a foil for most of the characters in the show. Especially with greater comparisons and emphasis on these 3 characters; Ozpin Ruby & Salem. While at the same time he is also the character representation that embodies Atlas the most and as such much about what we know and learned about Atlas is mostly due to Ironwood’s actions as he is the culmination and development of Atlasian culture. Unfortunately though this as far as his character was ever going to go. Which makes it all the more tragic and sad when you think about the role that he was supposed to serve.

We will first be breaking down each Foil comparison between Ironwood and the 3 prominent characters to plot as to better under his place in the narrative.

Ozpin

Of all the characters that exist in the RWBY story I do believe that Ironwood tried to emulate and be his own version of Ozpin(or any past incarnation). However unlike Ozpin Ironwood is biased, lacks actual experience and above all takes shortcuts to get faster results at the expense of others. I know that this mostly stems from good intentions but what exactly qualifies Ironwood to even think that he should be the one in charge to handle this Salem conflict. This is one of the greatest problems that is addressed in the show about Ironwood. He really believes that it's his destiny to lead by replacing Ozpin and win.

 But I ask again; What exactly can Ironwood do that would qualify him to even be worthy to take up Ozpin’s task?

That's just it really, there is nothing about him to warrant such a thing. When it comes to the foils between the 2 it's about being this Big Good character that should lead and the themes of Grey morality that R.T. has tried to implement into the show. But when it comes down to it Ozpin is the true Big Good while Ironwood was simply a pretender. Ironwood has always been a narrowed focused character that cares about the conflict itself instead of the people that are caught in the crossfire. And unlike Ozpin who has based all of his decisions and plans from experience and human nature, Ironwood had based his for a need to simply be right and in control.

In short Ironwood had wanted to be the next Oz as he believed he was more suited to do what Ozpin couldn’t even though he lacked the skills, experience, and power to do so which brings us to the next foil. 

Ruby Rose

This might be stretching a bit but when it comes to the plot there is no greater foil between characters than who is the real hero of the story. In this case is the hero of the series Ironwood or Ruby? To help answer this inquiry we need to know what exactly a hero is. Webster's dictionary defines a hero as a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent, endowed with great strength or ability.

While other sources would say what qualifies  A hero can be as simple as a person that saves lives and stuff, but a hero can be anyone that does something they have fear of but are brave enough to still do something. Bravery is usually the biggest trait of any hero. This person has usually overcomes huge obstacles to survive or to rescue others.

A hero is selfless, a genuinely good person, and someone gets the undivided attention of all of us and causes change.

A hero takes action to help others at considerable risk to themselves, however, if that action also helps themselves, then they are not a hero because they are acting out of self-interest. Courage is admirable, but unless it involves risk or sacrifice in order to help others, then it isn't heroism.

So in short the true hero of the series is actually Ruby not Ironwood or any other character in the series. Not because she is one of the main characters or because this is a story from her perspective but because she has the ideal and pragmatic skills and abilities needed to handle the current situation of the plot as well as doing what Ironwood has failed to do himself confront fear and be brave. As I stated in paranoia over reason most if not all of his choices have been based on fear rather than actual logic, reason, or bravery. Which is further highlighted by facts discussed in I am power that Ironwood is really nothing without the military and doesn’t stand a chance on his own.  

This is indefinitely a stark contrast to ruby as she has proven since her introduction to be capable of handling the threat of Salem as she has the talents skills abilities power and above all the spark that inspires others that compels them to do great things for the right reasons which Ironwood failed to do as all of his action have had a certain goal that would only benefit a certain few with him being the one who would benefit the most. This is mostly due to how the 2 have responded and chose to handle the situation. 

When it comes down to it the main plot is defeating monsters that dominate the world who happen to have a leader controlling them. Remember the whole reason why Salem is even a credible threat is because she can control said monsters and the first premise before she came on screen for the first time was learning how to fight grimm. This is something that Ruby was training and preparing for since she was a kid with the added bonus of having the powers needed to handle the situation with ease while Ironwood has only been preparing for a war with other people rather than monsters and crush rebellions rather than being a guardian peacekeeper that Oz meant for him to be.

 Because of this Ironwood has contributed more to the problem more so than Ruby did as his actions were done in favor of Atlas and his own self interests were as Ruby makes honest mistakes out of ignorance and optimism. Which brings me to the next foil that Ironwood shares more qualities with than anyone else

Salem

I know I'm going to get a lot of heat for this but if you think about it Ironwood is basically a syfy dictator version of Salem’s fantasy dark lord. Face value it doesn’t seem likely but given what we know about their current lore, history, personally, and world building these two can be twins to some extent. The examples are as followed;

They’re both headstrong and blunt individuals who go too far in their endeavors when simple and easier solutions were present

They’re both isolated however Salem is isolated by circumstance and force while Ironwood is isolated by choice and paranoia which is ironically the results of their cold upbringing and history

They both lead organizations with questionable intentions that border on dark and immoral with goals that are based on self entitlement rather than rightfully justified or earned

And to top it off they essentially command armies of soulless killing machines

From these examples we have plenty of foils between the two with them being pride, isolation, tragedy, authority and probably the most important foil in regards to the plot War & Conflict. However when it comes down to it Ironwood is on the short end of these foils when compared to Salem. 

In terms of tragedy these two have let their past misfortunes dictate and influence their decisions resulting in a sense of entitlement that they have been wronged now the world has to compensate them for things to be right. For Salem she had a cruel upbringing for unknown reasons and life being unfairly cruel while Ironwood was lifely forced into servitude and was never really himself as he wanted to be. Salem’s tragedies are the result of grief and dealing with forces that she couldn’t comprehend. While Ironwood’s is the result of unchecked ambition and ignorance.

Similar to Oz, Salem has more experience being a leader that can exert their authority and will over others while Ironwood lacks the experience and therefore can’t do the same. The Grimm under Salem’s command are more of an oppressed hivemind that she leads with little to no resistance unlike her human subordinates. Thus Salem has more direct control and authority over those she commands and has the abilities necessary to keep them in line with her goals. While the people under Ironwood’s authority have a voice and mind of their own that don’t align with his ideas. Due to this he isn’t much of a respected leader as he thought he was. Because of this Ironwood is mostly kept in power by rules and regulations with everyone blindly following suit. 

 As for war Ironwood was without a doubt unprepared for it. This is mostly due to 4 reasons;

He had no idea of what he was doing

His opponents are of better a quality than anything he can make or round up

He was preparing for the wrong war that should never have come to pass.

He was to prideful and sure of himself that nothing can go wrong

When it comes to the 1st reason Ironwood was more or less a pseudo soldier in a time where militaries are pretty much obsolete. This is because militaries are used as power projection of a nation and convey the message to another nation to not cross them. Due to the timing there was no real reason or excuse to justify having a military during a point in time where people are more interested in developing a culture and living life rather than fighting in needless conflicts. As such there was no practical reason, competition, or threat to justify Ironwood’s demands for a large military when he came to power or ensure that it was of a better quality than whatever hypothetical enemy that he would face.

Salem on the other hand has had experience commanding armies before and probably has instigated several wars and conflicts prior to the founding of the current 4 kingdoms thus Salem would have at least accumulated centuries to millenniums of war experience that surpass Ironwood’s brief 30 years of service in the Atlas military. Given that Salem was already a crafty and manipulative person during a time when gods were still around, she most likely would have seen the mistakes and flaws that Ironwood has made and exploited them.

Leading into the 2nd reason Ironwood was pretty much in command of a terrible military. As stated in the 1st reason there was no real threat or competition that encouraged those in power besides Ironwood to remilterze. As well as the current military most likely being filled with people who don’t want to fight a war and most likely enlisted for economic reasons. Because of this and his paranoia Ironwood had to find a surrogate army to prepare for his war that in his mind could happen at any time. However this resulted in cheaply made Androids that can be assembled fast for quick deployment. Due to this Ironwood traded quality for quantity as not only was no one going to fight in his war but believed war was on its way soon. Out of misplaced desperation Ironwood hastily assembled a low quality army that never stood a chance.

In comparison to Salem’s main military force there aren’t that many differences. However the Grimm are slightly a better quality than what the Atlas military has to offer. This is mostly due to the fact that the Grimm are a semi sapient species that are capable of learning and adapting as well as possessing some level of self preservation with individual grimm being around longer than most of their kind becoming even more deadlier than them. While the androids that Atlas uses aren’t as they were made to be cheap and disposable and are mostly effective in large numbers. 

The 3rd reason for why Salem is doing well during this conflict with Ironwood is mostly due to the General preparing for the wrong type of war than the war that he is actually fighting in. After all is said and done Ironwood has solely been preparing for a war with other people rather than for monsters. This is because the Atlas military before Ironwood took charge wasn’t meant to fight a war. Not all militaries are formed or created to defend the people. Atlas is the type of military that serves only in favor of the best interest of the state of government rather than the people. 

Because of this Ironwood had spread misery and divided the people turning them into enemies. Salem would later take advantage of this division that Ironwood created as he was more focused preparing for war than managing the welfare of his citizens. This is speculation but most if not all of the weapons like penny and the Atlesian knights were solely made to fight human opponents as opposed to the grimm that Salem commanded. This is because Ironwood feared and distrusted people more than the monsters he fought.

The 4th and final reason why Ironwood never stood a chance is due to the fact that he believed in his own hype more than he should have. From key dialogues to certain character interactions and in universe lore Ironwood has always presented himself as this towering figure with unlimited power; A god among men so to speak. This shows us that ultimately Ironwood’s ego and pride have been inflated to the point that his overall common sense is non-existent. This is further explored and shown in the control tactics that he uses specifically these ones; Strength and Intimidation in Numbers; 

Some aggressors like to dominate a situation by having a number of associates or friends present to support their position. The superior numbers alone may constitute an intimidating presence. They can also back each other up and challenge an individual in turn during a proceeding. In addition, they may also put pressure on a person to make a decision before they're ready. At worst, the strength in numbers tactic may be used for direct or indirect bullying or harassment.

Ironwood's overall strategy is simply sowing fear and doubt into an enemy that he doesn’t understand with large and unnecessary shows of power wasting resources to cover a wide variety of unknown enemies that pose a threat to him regardless if they are with Salem or not. This is best seen with the thousands to millions of cheaply made androids that are only effective in large numbers and the one ship of the line that was too big to be suited for warfare as they function as more of a forward operating base with their great size giving them the intimidation factor without other supporting fleet vessels like frigates or corvettes.(FYI by my count from V6 ep13 there were at least 41 of those ships hovering above Atlas doing nothing)

This is even confirmed by Ironwood in V3 ep3 where he claims this to be the case with this line of dialogue; 

“The people of Vale needed someone to protect them, someone who would act. When they look to the sky and see my fleet, they feel safe, and our enemies will feel our strength.”

This sort of tactic would probably have been useful if it was applied in a conventional warfare plot with people being his opponent as this is a real life tactic used in militaries and the navy especially in the modern era. The problem however is that the plot isn’t about conventional warfare nor is it a battle between people but with monsters where these tactics are meaningless  to them. These tactics are ineffective when compared to Salem’s psychological hit & run terror tactic being used in a setting like RWBY’s are quite effective and more useful than anything Ironwood can come up with. Even though they rely on opportunity and time to become a practical threat the end result is a huge payoff to the one who applied them with that being Salem. 

To sum it up when it comes to the foils of war between these 2 characters all you really need is the right tactic, strategy or plan and everything falls into place regardless of whether you have an army or a handful of misfits all it takes is careful thought and patience something of which Ironwood has shown to be lacking.

In conclusion what we learn from these foils are Leadership, Heroism, and War and how no matter what Ironwood was always on the short end of these traits and was never going to reach his ideal scenario for each of these ideas as he had set high expectations that were well above his capabilities and now he’s paying the price.

The Atlas Meta Narrative’s influence on Ironwood

Based on my research and what I have stated before; the greatest source of Ironwood’s flaws and antagonism is largely due to the influences of his home kingdom; Atlas. 

Just like Ironwood Atlas is also a foil setting and culture to the other kingdoms and the rest of Remnant. The reasoning for this is best explored in the established lore and other expanded material. To help better understand, here is a brief summarized history and development of the Kingdom of Atlas;

Before Atlas came to be it first started as Mantle who began as a group of desperate people trying to survive. Taking advantage of the cold climate of Solitas they were safe from the Grimm and had an unknown amount of time to develop both their technology and culture without restraint or interference. Eventually this progress was stalled due to a Grimm incident in Mantle that forced the current leaders of the kingdom to make radical and unnecessary regulations that suppress basic human emotions and rights instead of putting the effort to protect the people. 

When the Great war started Mantle joined only to ensure that its like minded imperialist ally Mistral would supply them the resources needed to survive. Because of this and the extreme measures they enforced on their citizens to control them prior to the war Mantle was most likely considered the most evilest faction during the war. When the war came to an end with Mantle suffering an embarrassing defeat it led to an age of cultural segregation and discrimination upon Mantle in the post war era.

Following the war Mantle entered an age of isolation and economic depression due to distrust and suspicion from the other kingdoms as they would only view them as this inherently evil and tyrannical force that can’t be trusted. Because of this the lingering scar of the toxic ideology of pre-war Mantle survived and is echoed in its spiritual successor; Atlas where it continued what Mantle couldn’t survive and thrive under the same core ideology that they had 80 years ago when they were still Mantle with only minor changes made to prevent the other kingdoms to intervene and possibly destroy their so called perfect culture. 

After they lost a scar had remained and an echo was created that still lingers to the present. Due to cause and effect Atlas at its core was developed to be this amoral conservative xenophobic dystopia that was being led by corrupt individuals that were in pursuit of their own self-interests rather than serving their citizens and were kept in power by blind followers that couldn’t see their real intentions. As a result Atlas became a culture of exploitation, expansion, repression, and subjugation for the well being of the political entity that is the state at the expense of its people and others. 

In relation to Ironwood as I stated before is a byproduct of this system and is simply one of a long line of blind followers that eventually supplanted the leadership and chose to continue the machine that is Atlas and replaced cogs needed to keep it running as he was once forced to do throughout his life because he doesn’t know of anything else. 

Because of this upbringing and the history of his origins Ironwood was more or less viewed as indifferent in the eyes of his own people and evil in the eyes of others. Leading to a clash of beliefs within Ironwood that resulted in conflicts with others and the main meta narrative theme that we were meant to learn from him; The essence of Being.

The Essence of Being

Essence is defined as the core nature or most important qualities of a person or thing. Essentially the narrative lesson that we can learn from Ironwood is the age old lesson that has been echoed from R.T. longest running series but with a more individual focus. That's right, Ironwood's journey and arc in the story is an inverse and modification of the classic RVB question; “Do you ever wonder why we're Here.”

But in the case of Ironwood it's more focused on an individual person asking and the age old question of Why am I here and what is my purpose and how do they justify and understand it.

As I stated before Ironwood was simply the wrong character in a different genre from a writing and story perspective. But in universe from the perspective of Ironwood it's simply a matter of him asking; “Why am I alive and here, and why am I this instead of that in a world like this?” At some point everyone questions the reality and circumstances of their situation and it's probably common questioning on a world, setting, and reality like Remnant. For Ironwood it’s possible that he’s asked these questions more than anyone. As for the reasons why he would question his existence go as follow;

Why was I born in Atlas?

How do I prove I'm good when others think I’m evil by proxy? 

Why I’m I so weak when compared to more skilled & powerful people?

Why was I made to be reliant on others that can’t rely on themselves?

I’m I respected only for the rank or the man?

Does anyone really care about me or I’m I being used by sycophants?

Will anyone care when I’m gone?

Why won’t anyone give me a chance?

How do I justify and understand the reasons why I'm here?

Does any of this matter in the end?

The core of Ironwood’s journey, actions, motives, and story wasn’t about saving the world, the balance of grey morality of people, or even the preservation of a certain culture, but instead is about cementing a legacy to escape the harsh reality that everything we do will eventually be undone. It's such a freighting thing to fall but is even more freighting is to admit it

In a way Ironwood's story is somewhat relevant to this line from Monty Oum in regards to immortality; “The goal isn't to live on forever; it's to make something that does.” CRWBY has even stated that Ironwood is a forward thinking individual/ A dreamer if you would. Because of this Ironwood was more focused on where he was heading rather than focus on where he was and what he was doing Causing a lot of problems to happen and escalating events to the point that we see them in the shows present. This oversight and negligence is because he continued to believe that, like everything else in his life, it would be righted by the sheer force of his will.

But sadly he is just only one man put on the world for a brief moment of time that is rather minuscule and insignificant on a cosmic and meta level. Everything changes and legacies are either forgotten or are repeated. In the end time and death are the ultimate victors as they undo everything and the cycle repeats itself for better or worse and individuals like Ironwood are just caught in the middle repeating and doing the same thing that has probably already happened and will probably happen again. All it takes is just a matter of time.

My Thoughts and conclusion

For the most part I was pretty much cautious when it came to the character and felt that he was more or less a side character trying to be a main one. The problem with that however in my thoughts is that well he doesn’t really have much to go on to warrant such a status. As well as how the plot has been structured Ironwood was never going to get what he wants. He may have had good intentions but at the end of the day he is only human with his own wants and needs.  

Overall I do feel that his part in the story is over. Mostly because he tried to take the lead of it. Meta understanding aside Ironwood’s time is coming to an end and I hate to say it but it probably would be for the best. Not just everyone else in the show but for himself as well. As I stated Ironwood’s life is Sad because well it never was really his to begin with. It's illogical because he was ill equipped to be a part of the setting that he was in. His death is more than guaranteed because he has nothing left to contribute to the story that can’t be done by anyone else. At this point with the overall message of death in the show it would be mercy and relief for Ironwood as Death is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

I still hold hope though as I’ve come to understand and see why people are fascinated by his character. But for that hope to be possible Ironwood has to let go of Atlas as it has been the main source of conflict between him and everyone else.

Well that's it I’m done for now as this is an analysis of Pre V8 Ironwood and maybe after V8 I may add more research of V8 Ironwood and see how much i got right in the initial analysis. After doing this I hope to do an analysis on Qrow Branwen and other RWBY characters hopefully in a much shorter amount of time as opposed to the months it took me to do Ironwood.(then again this was my first character analysis) Until then be on the lookout for additional bonus content for Ironwood such as;

Character comparisons from fiction

Character comparisons IRL

How you can fight & Kill Ironwood

A more indepth look of his new cybernetics

What Ironwood should have done

His relationship with other characters

The possibility of an Ironwood spin-off

That's all for now. Let me know what you think and thank you all who helped made this analysis possible.

[murdereraisuha]

Final Chapter 5 Reflection

This will have my personal opinion/thoughts on:

The VDC outcome, Rook’s actions, and what could’ve made it better

The Rook reveal and Neige

Kalim, Jamil, and Epel’s development

The Grim scene

Total word count: 2134 words

--- 1 ---

So, RSA won the VDC. My feelings on this are mixed.

Looking at it in relation to the whole plot of TWST, it makes sense. It moves the chance for NRC to finally beat RSA to the upcoming magift tournament, which gives NRC’s potential victory a large amount of excitement/importance which it wouldn’t get from this middle of the year championship.

Furthermore, Rook’s actions do make sense based on his personality. If Vil really didn’t believe that he himself was beautiful, Rook of course would vote for the team that exhibited pure joy in their performance and therefore exhibited a heartfelt beauty. It would be a lie to vote for NRC, and it would disgrace both Rook and Vil. Rook’s actions plot wise also lead to the discussion about Vil valuing himself vs seeking value from others, which I think is a crucial thing for Vil to remember. While trying to gain recognition for hard work is good, and Vil certainly does deserve recognition, it’s much more important to maintain a good perception of yourself even when things happen or people wrongfully say things that might tear down your self-esteem

However, I still have issues with how this played out in relation to the plot of chapter 5. It’s unrealistic for all of Vil’s misgivings about himself to get fixed through the power of friendship and beating each other up. But, still, the team went through a lot in order to get to the championship united and ready to perform. It feels like a slap in the face for them to lose after all that. Especially the scene with Kalim and Epel crying while Ya Hoo cheerfully plays in the background, it's so comically dissonant. Though we already got an explanation from Vil about how Neige’s performance appeals to viewers, I was still shocked. At least it was a close competition rather than a crushing defeat. 

Also, while Rook’s message was sound, the timing was rather bad. Vil and the rest of the team just had a massive battle and then went through a whole song & dance performance without major blunders while still injured. Focusing on Vil’s self-esteem there makes it seem like Rook is just brushing all that determination and effort away. Though Vil doesn’t seem to truly hold it against Rook since he offers the handkerchief back to Rook when he cries, the situation still feels off.

In conclusion, I think that the plot events made sense. However, the execution of them could have been improved. As is, it’s hard to understand Rook’s motivations in this part due to the ridiculousness of RSA’s kid’s song winning. To fix that without just completely overhauling the plot, I believe that the admirable qualities of Neige and the dwarves should have been shown more clearly. For example, while the Pomefiore CM shows a glimpse of their bond, that’s nonexistent in the game. I think that incorporating that into the game (ex. a short scene of Neige reassuring the dwarves that their performance will go well before they step on stage) would help people understand Rook’s point of view better by showing instead of just telling us about the belief Neige has in his friends.. 

Moreover, alongside better reasons for why Rook choose RSA, I think it should be clearer why he did not choose NRC. It seems an attempt at warning of the “betrayal” was done with Vil menacingly saying he’ll win the VDC during the voting, followed by the shot of Rook just going “........”.  To make this less sudden, I think I would change episode 66. Though that episode has Vil saying that he’s ugly, because the team contradicts him and keeps him as the leader it makes it seem like the problem is solved there. Therefore, to better lead to Rook’s speech, I would change episode 66 to have Vil show more hesitation and signs that he still doesn’t believe in himself. 

--- 2 ---

Anyway, on to the reveal about Rook. I wasn’t sure what to think about the name slip up during the previous part, but I just guessed that maybe they’d met before and that meeting is related to RSA and Rook having light magic. Nope, we get Neige simp Rook. I think this reveal was really surprising, but more in a funny way than a “ruins Rook’s character” way. It’s nice to see Rook seriously caught off guard by Neige just nonchalantly exposing him in front of everyone, and everyone’s reactions were extremely funny.

I think that the chapter did a decent job of making it clear that Rook’s relationship with Neige as a fan of him is vastly different from Rook’s calm admiration of and friendship with Vil. I’m kind of curious now about how and when Rook became a fan though. Him being the 2nd member of the fan club implies that Rook found Neige when Neige still hadn’t gotten much fame yet. 

I loved everyone’s Ya Hoo too. Ace and Jamil having level 0 enthusiam, Kalim and Rook having level 1000 enthusiasm, Deuce being startled but slowly getting into it but still being kind of eh, Epel just keeping that wide-eyed confused expression the whole time. ボーテ、１００点. For Vil, I understand that he was probably faking his big smile for the benefit of the audience. However, I still hope his opinion of Neige has improved somewhat or will improve. Neige telling Vil that he’s still number one in the eyes of the people who voted for him was really sweet and their interactions with each other are pretty cute/funny when Vil isn’t trying to murder him.

Unlike other minor characters like Chenya and Farena who either weren’t involved in the plot or were only involved as backstory, Neige is Vil’s present rival and motivation for doing the stuff he does and over blotting. With such a large presence that continued all throughout the chapter and the Rook reveal, it would seem strange for Neige to suddenly drop out of existence come chapter 6.

Therefore, assuming that the Grim situation doesn’t derail the current patterns we’ve seen in the story, I think that Neige will be included as part of the Pomefiore involvement in chapter 6. Of course, it could be something small like getting called in for a favor near the end or just mentions of Rook continuing to write him fan letters. However, I’m hoping it’s something larger. From my analysis of the previous part:

Vil’s team’s performance had a lot of cohesion and rehearsal put into it, but it was very competitive focused. On the other hand, Neige and the dwarves obviously had a lot of fun with their performance. However, it was clumsy and they were ill prepared. Therefore, Vil could teach Neige more discipline and planning while Neige could teach Vil about how to not lose sight of finding joy in your work. 

Now that we have confirmation that Neige is a genuinely nice guy, I really want Vil & Neige friendship to happen, or for them to at least be on good terms with each other. It might just be my personal love for relationships where one person tries to be all rival-y but then the other is like “nope, I’m going to friend you whether you like it or not,” but I think this sort of development in the story of TWST would be really enjoyable to watch.

--- 3 ---

For the performance of Absolutely Beautiful, I love that Jamil got to be in the center for a bit. However, that also just makes me more disappointed that we didn’t get more Scarabia or anything about how their families are watching this. With the stuff in 5-30 and 5-34 focusing on Kalim’s perspective on things and his relationship with Jamil, I thought that at some point we would get a final scene focusing on them and how they’ve developed since chapter 4. What we got with  Jamil swooping in to the rescue with the magic carpet then talking about how he could sense that Kalim was about to do something stupid was better than nothing, but idk. I just love the writing and complexity these two have gotten and I wanted that to continue to the end. I still have hope though! If we can get a thing about Leona noticing the traces of magic in the arena, then we can get future appearances from the Scarabia boys too!... please...

Now, for Epel, I also have mixed feelings about his development throughout the chapter. I absolutely loved the beach scene with Deuce and Epel, it was so cute and I liked Epel realizing the power of beauty because of the apple juice Magicam post. However, I think the narrative missed something important. Though Epel’s views had a lot of improvement to be made, Vil’s treatment of him was also terrible and should have been addressed. I believe Vil saying that “throwing a tantrum and taking it out on others was terrible of him” in episode 66 implies that he’s realized that all his actions, not just the overblot, were wrong. However, it’s not clear enough that that was the intention. Vil does not apologize specifically for how he attempted to force Epel to conform to his own beliefs. Though there’s always chapter 6, it still doesn’t seem like the story will ever really address this issue, which is a shame to say the least.

Furthermore, in this final part, Epel offering to take the center position was really good and showed how much he’s grown since the beginning of the chapter. However, it still didn’t bring the whole “poison apple” thing to fruition. Absolutely no one made any comment on his cuteness or how it might rival Neige’s cuteness. Did they plan something with that but scraped it? Like, this is way too little pay off for such a focus on Vil shaping Epel into a way to best Neige. My disappointment with this ending might have to do with these past 3 main story updates being the only ones I’ve been in this fandom for, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever the cause of my disappointment may be, my disappointment still does exist.

--- 4 ---

To top off this roller coaster of a chapter and end this reflection with a more neutral analysis, we have the stuff with Mickey and Grim. Mickey seems really nice, I’m glad that Yuu seems to have made an ally in him. We certainly need one after whatever the hell just happened with Grim. I really have to give props for how unsettling both Grim’s appearance and the sounds during that scene were.

Though we’re obviously getting close to the endgame, the Ignihyde sneak peak that we got seems pretty normal and related to their personal problems rather than the plot. Though it would be interesting for a big change to happen like Yuu being out of commission for the chapter, I think it’s more likely that Yuu will be rescued, Grim just goes missing, then we don’t get much more info on that whole thing until the end of chapter 6 leading into chapter 7.

Anyway, for the scene itself I understand if it just because silent protagonist, don’t want to make them talk/do too much, but it feels kind of weird that there wasn’t really any indication of a struggle? Just standing there, staring at Grim, getting clawed, then black out. Nothing to indicate trying to step back. There was some weird clopping??? sound after he attacked but since the camera didn’t move that wasn’t Yuu collapsing.

Also, it might just be supposed to be “Grim’s laugh but creepy,” but his ケヒッ、 ケヒヒッ laughter sounds unusually distinctive? Idk, I just had the thought that it could be in reference to some other disney character with a similar laugh but idk who that would be since I’m not big into disney movies.

Right before he attacks, Grim also shouts “this is my stone!!!” Firstly, assuming that this stone is the same small size as the others, shouldn’t he already be done eating it? Yuu’s not exactly gonna stick their hand down his throat to retrieve it. So what stone is he talking about?

Well, we know that the magic crystal on the magic pens is supposed to collect blot so that it doesn’t built up inside someone, right? Blot accumulated from outright eating it instead of blot accumulated from casting magic is probably different, but what if some of the blot from the black stones did get gathered up by Grim’s crystal on his collar? We know how crazed he has been getting about the black stones. Is it so much of a stretch to think that he might be trying for more? That he might be trying to create instead of just find? 

How would a black magic crystal taste?

[lockefanfic]

Business Trip: Pt 34 - Nostalgia

Author’s Note: Happy Nayeon Day everyone ;)

---

And so you do your best to hold on as her small, tight little body writhes and quivers on the bed, burying yourself completely inside her so you could both feel every ounce of pleasure that her orgasm had to give. Her fingers dig almost painfully into your forearm; but the pain from her nails only heightened the feel of her pussy pulsating around your cock.

When she finally comes down from her high her body is a quivering, mewling mess on the bed - but the fire in her eyes is undiminished, and the conviction and determination that were always at the core of her personality takes over.

“Baby,” she says, her voice low but firm, “I want you to take me.”

“Hmm?” you ask as you bend to nuzzle the side of her face. You knew what she meant, knew what she wanted you to do - but you had to hear her say it.

“I want you to be the first.”

“The first to what, Nayeon?”

There is silence for a few moments as Nayeon reaches up to your neck, bringing you close for a brief, passionate kiss before bringing her lips to your ear.

“I want you to be the first to fuck my ass.”

---

A chorus of hushed whispers washed over the room as Nayeon’s video finished playing. Jeongyeon was the first to speak up.

 “Who are those girls? What was Irene doing with them?”

 “Kidnapping them, probably,” Seolhyun quips, a stern look on her face as she crosses her arms. “More recruits for all her bullshit.”

 “They didn’t seem like they were going with her against their will - it’s almost like Irene was helping them escape from that YG building,” Tzuyu notes.

 “Those four girls were part of YG’s Blackpink division,” Nayeon explains. “They were essentially YG’s corporate espionage division, similar to what Red Velvet does for SM. Intel has dried up on them since this video - they’ve basically disappeared.”

 “Probably because they’re dead in a ditch somewhere after Irene got what she needed from them,” Seolhyun replies, still on edge about Irene. You decide to ignore her anger for now, hoping the young woman could at least channel it into something useful.

 “Regardless of Blackpink’s current whereabouts, our next course of action is clear. We have the evidence we need to put Irene away. The only matter now is finding her and arresting her - is that correct, detectives?” you ask.

 “Yes,” Jihyo answers from her seat at the front of the conference table, “but finding her is the hard part. After our mission at SM HQ she must know we’re on to her, so she’s likely gone to ground. We each need to reach out to any sources we may have that can help us track Irene down.”

 “What about Momo?” Jeongyeon asks, turning to you, “Maybe she has leads on Irene? It seemed like they were working on something big when they rescued us. I think they were closing in on her.”

 “Yup. And those two members of Red Velvet that we just saw get captured are now on Momo’s team as well. Maybe they know something that can help us - and I’d like to know how they managed to escape YG,” you add.

 “Okay, get in touch with her and find out what they know,” Jihyo says with a nod. “The rest of us can work any other leads we have. Maybe we can comb through the data we retrieved one more time to find any possible Red Velvet safehouse locations or schedule data. We can meet again on Monday morning and form an action plan.”

 Your assembled team rises from their seats and leaves the conference room, each of you spending the rest of the day doing everything you could to track down Red Velvet’s leader.

 ---

 Summer in Seoul was being a bit like being in an inescapable oven.

 Air conditioning was almost a necessity, what with temperatures averaging around 35 degrees and flirting with nearly 40. Despite this, you decided to leave the artificially cooled interior of JYP’s Seoul office to hopefully enjoy some quiet time to yourself on the roof.

 The office was almost empty now, most of the staff running off to enjoy their Friday night. You were happy to find the rooftop completely empty, and you grabbed a seat in one of the folding chairs in the small, shaded picnic area by the hot tub - remembering, briefly, the intimate encounter you’d had with Seolhyun there not so long ago. The memory brings a smile to your face, and you quickly found yourself reminiscing about the way she’d gone down on you, and the steamy shower sex you’d had soon thereafter.

 Your eyes involuntarily close as you lean back in the folding chair, raising your feet to rest on the chair opposite. You’d brought a file of Irene-related documents with you to the roof to study, but you were happy to take a short break - and maybe a nap - in the late afternoon sunlight.

 “You never were any good at studying,” comes a female voice, one that you knew all too well.

 You open your eyes to find Nayeon standing over you. Had you fallen asleep? You shake your head and rub your eyes in an attempt to gather your wits and focus on the young woman’s pretty features as she takes a seat in one of the other folding chairs. She is wearing a simple white sundress, one that is just slightly translucent, if the hint of a dark bra beneath its clean white fabric is any indication.

 “Oh, hey,” you answer, still shaking off the cobwebs of sleep, and unable to really say anything more. You sit up in the folding chair and lower your feet to the floor.

 “Sorry, I must’ve dozed off there for a second.”

 “No problem. But really, it’s me that should be apologizing.”

 Nayeon’s face is blank, and her features don’t give any indication as to her thoughts or intentions.

 “For what?”

 “You know for what,” she answers quickly, “For leaving you yesterday, during the mission.”

 The image of Nayeon standing in that alleyway, as she debated with herself whether she should leave you there to fall into the clutches of SM, flashes before your mind. The image of her finally making up her mind and running away came to mind soon after, although that image was significantly less pleasant to remember.

 “You don’t have to apologize. I ordered you to run. It was important that we get the data, otherwise the whole thing would’ve been in vain. Momo ended up rescuing Jeongyeon and I anyway - all’s well that ends well.”

 “But you didn’t know that at the time,” Nayeon answers, “and for all you and I knew I was leaving you there to be captured - and probably tortured, or worse.”

 You look away from her for a moment, unable to meet her gaze. It was true that her running away left you and Jeongyeon to an uncertain fate - one you were lucky to escape.

 “What good would it have done? If you’d stayed you would’ve been captured right along with us. There were almost a dozen of them and only three of us. They would’ve overpowered us eventually.”

 There is quiet for a few moments as Nayeon weighs your words in her mind. She fiddles with her fingers in her lap, trying to find voice and words to the emotions inside her.

 “I would at least have known I didn’t run away when you needed me. I would have known that I stayed when you needed me - like she did.”

 The image of Jeongyeon standing next to you, a fierce look in her eyes and a length of wood in her hands, ready to go down swinging, comes back to you. She also had the chance to run, right along with Nayeon; but instead she’d picked up a weapon and made a stand next to you.

 “That’s irrelevant,” you tell Nayeon, “what happened happened. We have the data and Jeongyeon and I are okay. That’s all that matters.”

 “No,” Nayeon snaps, “no, that’s not all that matters. I ran away. And I spent the rest of the day thinking I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. It wasn’t until Jihyo got that call from you last night that I found out you were okay. I thought you could have been dead.”

 The girl looks away, the strong front she had put up slowly beginning to show cracks. Her lip quivers slightly. The two of you sit there in silence for a moment, pondering the weight of Nayeon’s words.

 “When Jihyo recruited me for this and I found out you were involved, I jumped at the opportunity,” she begins, her voice a little weaker now. “I still had feelings for you, but I wasn’t sure if they were for real. I thought if I saw you again I’d know for sure.”

 Nayeon takes a breath, as if to compose herself. She looks back out at the empty rooftop, unable or unwilling to meet your gaze.

 “And when I found out you were sleeping with all these other girls and acting like an asshole, fucking them in front of me - I thought all those feelings for you disappeared. When that girl showed up wearing that blue hoodie I bought you - I wanted to strangle you.”

 She quickly swipes at the corner of her eyes - ostensibly to remove some bit of dust, but in reality to wipe away the beginnings of a tear.

 “But last night convinced me otherwise. Thinking I’d left you there, and that I might never see you again - it convinced me I still love you.”

 “Nayeon, I-”

 “I don’t care that you’re fucking all these other girls. I don’t care about the way we broke up, or why. I just care about you. We shouldn’t have broken up. We should still be together.”

 She looks at you now, and despite the tear that has finally broken free of her eyes and has slowly begun to fall down her left cheek, she still looks defiant, proud, just the way she always was.

 “We can be together again,” she says softly.

 Silence reigns for a moment as you gather your thoughts; you would have been lying if you’d said that Nayeon’s reappearance in your life hadn’t rekindled feelings for her. You’d always thought that the reason for your breakup and the way that you did it had left things so unresolved… and you’d spent many long nights since wondering what could have been.

 “Nayeon…” you begin, unable to really find the words to say anything more.

 “You don’t have to say anything,” she states. “At least until after we get Irene.”

 “I understand,” you answer.

 Apparently satisfied with the conversation, Nayeon gives you a soft nod before quickly wiping away the remnants of the tear from her cheek. She smiles softly - a smile that seems forced, as though it took all of her strength not to simply break down in front of you. Standing up, she begins to walk away.

 “Nayeon,” you say, her name a gasp upon your lips. She turns around with an almost imperceptible sigh, as though she were hoping you would stop her.

 “Do you… like, want to get super drunk or something?”

 Nayeon laughs, and although she tries to suppress it the way someone does when they don’t quite want to laugh, she nonetheless lets the soft, musical sound of her giggle escape her mouth.

 “Yes,” she answers, “yes I do.”

 ---

 “I got 34% on that econ midterm, and I have no one but you to blame.”

 “Oh please. Cramming doesn’t work. Scanning five chapters of a textbook the night before your exam isn’t going to magically turn you into an A student. You should have studied each chapter the week it was assigned, and not five chapters the night before the midterm. The night before the midterm is for a final review of all the major concepts.”

 “If I recall correctly you had a lot to do with keeping me up the night before the midterm.”

 “Psh. As great as the sex was, saying I kept you up ‘all night’ is a bit of an exaggeration.”

 “You wanted it three times. Then a fourth time as we were heading to campus.”

 “My point still stands. You had plenty of time for studying in between sessions.”

 “Awfully hard to study when your girlfriend ties you up to a chair and fucks your brains out. You slapped me a couple of times, too.”

 “Pain brings the brain to full alertness. I wanted to make sure you were alert and ready to study.”

 “I’m not complaining. The first time was fun. So was watching you walk around naked in the room afterwards.”

 “I wasn’t just walking around the room. Sometimes I was sitting. Or lying down.”

 “On top of my textbook. Which was hot as fuck, but not conducive to effective studying.”

 “I’m pretty sure I was nicer to look at than your textbook.”

 “I don’t doubt that. I’m just saying that the time between sessions would have been helpful for some last minute review, had you not distracted me the way you did.”

 “It’s not my fault you’re easily distracted.”

 “The second time, you literally bent over the kitchen counter and shook your ass at me.”

 “I didn’t say anything - it was you that decided to get up from your studying and come fuck me. I was just minding my own business, happily making us dinner and ensuring you had the energy for your studies. It was you that interrupted me.”

 “You looked over your shoulder at me with your ‘fuck me’ look and licked your lips. If that’s not asking for it, I don’t know what was.”

 “I wasn’t asking for anything. I was just tasting the food I made, to ensure it was delicious and nutritious enough for my boyfriend.”

 “And the ass shaking?”

 “I was dancing. We were playing music at the time, if you’ll recall. Music can aid the brain with memory retention.”

 “You had a hand between your legs. You did all your cooking with your left hand. Dancing gets you that hot and bothered?”

 “I wanted to improve my dexterity with my off hand.”

 “You were wet as hell when I got to you.”

 “Is it so wrong to say that my boyfriend made me wet?”

 “I think it was the thought of me fucking you over the kitchen counter that made you that wet, and you couldn’t help but touch yourself. Still think you weren’t asking for it?”

 “You’re crazy. I don’t ask for sex. I get it.”

 “Oh, you definitely got it. And the third time - giving me that blowjob under the desk while I was studying, what do you call that?”

 “I was cleaning under the table to ensure your feet weren’t injured by sharp or pointy objects while you studied. Safety first.”

 “And so not only do you cook naked - you clean naked too?”

 “It ensures clothing doesn’t get in the way or distract me from my chores.”

 “And the blowjob in the car on the way to campus?”

 “It was to ensure you were in the right mindset for the midterm. Orgasm releases endorphins to the brain which can improve examination outcomes.”

 “So four orgasms provide the recommended daily dose of endorphins, is that correct?”

 “That’s correct. For males, at least. It’s seven for women in the same time frame - you only gave me six, unfortunately. I had to get the seventh on my own.”

 “The picture you sent me of your wet fingertips just minutes before the midterm is enough proof.”

 “I was trying to provide visual support.”

 “You were insatiable, Nayeon.”

 “Were?”

 “Am?”

 “Am. I have to admit, I liked the way we tied each other up when we fucked. That was hot as fuck. But that night before your midterm - I was left wanting a little bit more, to be honest.”

 “Four times in twelve hours wasn’t enough?”

 “No, the number of times was enough.”

 “So? What more could you have wanted?”

 “Remind me again - where did you cum?”

 “On your back once, after you tied me up. Inside you, in the kitchen. And in your mouth twice.”

 “Hmm.”

 “Hmm?”

 “If only there was another place you could cum.”

 Nayeon finishes her beer in one long gulp. She slams the glass on the table and licks her lips with the same ‘fuck me’ look she wore in that room years ago. She gathers her purse and jacket and leaves the table. You quickly drop some bills down to pay for your meal and rush after her.

 ---

Sleeping with Nayeon was dangerous, to say the least, given your history together and your current circumstances. Sex with exes always made things so complicated. 

 But when she dragged you into her hotel room and your lips and bodies crashed together, you made no effort to resist. She was so familiar, her body so well known to your lips and fingers, that all thought of stopping fled quickly out the window. You’d spent so many long nights since your breakup wondering what could have been - and more than a few nights reminiscing about her body.

 The years were kind to Nayeon - when you were in school she was a little too thin, a little less curvy - but nature and long hours in the gym had sculpted her body further, and now she was a fully grown woman, curves and delicious skin and toned muscle all coming together to create a goddess in the prime of her life.

 You raise your head from between her spread legs, your tongue and chin dripping with her juices. You lick the delicious honey from your lips, savoring her taste as you kiss a path back up her slim, firm body, delighting in her tight stomach and cute, round breasts. You reach her neck and give her a quick peck there before you give her a deep kiss, Nayeon’s tongue sliding into your mouth to taste herself.

 “You always ate me so well,” she says, her cheeks flushed from recent orgasm.

 “You always tasted so fucking good,” you answer.

 “Fuck me now,” she hisses, and you are quick to oblige, positioning yourself between her spread thighs, reaching down and aiming the tip of your stiff cock at her dripping folds. You swirl it around the slick flesh, delighting in the soft moans that leave the girl’s lips as your tip slides around her clit.

 “Stop teasing. I need it. Fuck me, please.”

 You grin devilishly as you press your tip against her opening - but your grin turns into a gentle sigh as the feeling of slipping into Nayeon’s slick, hot pussy overwhelms your senses. 

 She felt exactly the way she did back then - tight, wet, hot - and it was all a little too much to handle. When you fill her completely you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, and you open eyes you didn’t know you’d closed. Your vision is filled with Nayeon’s beautiful face, her cheeks flushed pink, her eyes and lips and nose overwritten with pleasure at being filled for the first time.

 “Oh god,” she gasps, “oh god, I missed you so much.”

 She grasps the back of your neck with her hand and brings you close for a kiss - one that is desperate, and full of need.

 “I’ve missed you too, Nayeon.”

 “Fuck me now,” she hisses, “fuck me like you used to.”

 You eagerly follow her demands, and you slowly begin to pump in and out of Nayeon’s slick, tight pussy, her body tightening around your cock with every thrust in and out, lathering your length with juices that glisten in the low light. The sound of her sighs and gasps quickly rise in volume, a beautiful backdrop to the sounds of your wet shaft penetrating her slick pussy again and again.

 You quickly find your rhythm, and you almost lose yourself in the feeling of her; you knew it was partially nostalgia - you felt like a university student again, enjoying himself and his girlfriend, not yet having to worry about corporate espionage or physical danger - no, there was only pleasure here, and indulging in it. For long minutes you fuck Im Nayeon, losing yourself in the feel of her body beneath yours, her limbs wrapped around you and your ears filled with her gasps and moans.

 The sounds were amazing, but it is the sight of her beneath you - the girl you’d long that was the one that got away - fed your desire more than any drug could have. You increase your rhythm, and the words that spill from Nayeon’s lips tell you she welcomed it.

 “Oh god… yes… fuck me, baby. I’m yours.”

 You decide to surprise her, slipping out of her needy pussy for a moment to turn her on to her left side. Straddling her left leg and raising her right leg so that it is on your right shoulder, you slip into her again, sliding easily inside her body and filling her completely, the position allowing you to get even deeper inside her.

 “Oh god!” she gasps, her mouth frozen open in a soundless “o”, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. You take a moment to let her adjust to the newfound depth of your cock - but her pussy is too wet and hot and slick to fight the temptation much longer, and soon you find yourself sliding in and out of her, fucking her with a hard, strong rhythm.

 Nayeon’s body bounces deliciously with every entrance and exit of your cock sending impacts that rock her form from head to toe. Her breasts, now stacked on top of each other due to being on her side, bounce hypnotically - you grab her right mound, squeezing softly and delighting in the feel of her stiff nipple in your palm.

 “Oh god… I missed this… I missed… mm, your cock inside me! Oh… oh god, I’m cumming!”

 When Nayeon orgasms it takes every effort on your part not to simply join her in bliss - her pussy tightening deliciously around you made it all to easy to pump inside her and fill her with cum that she would have been happy to be filled with; but you knew you had to hold on, had to give her what she asked for earlier that night.

 And so you do your best to hold on as her small, tight little body writhes and quivers on the bed, burying yourself completely inside her so you could both feel every ounce of pleasure that her orgasm had to give. Her fingers dig almost painfully into your forearm; but the pain from her nails only heightened the feel of her pussy pulsating around your cock.

 When she finally comes down from her high her body is a quivering, mewling mess on the bed - but the fire in her eyes is undiminished, and the conviction and determination that were always at the core of her personality takes over.

 “Baby,” she says, her voice low but firm, “I want you to take me.”

 “Hmm?” you ask as you bend to nuzzle the side of her face. You knew what she meant, knew what she wanted you to do - but you had to hear her say it.

 “I want you to be the first.”

 “The first to what, Nayeon?”

 There is silence for a few moments as Nayeon reaches up to your neck, bringing you close for a brief, passionate kiss before bringing her lips to your ear.

 “I want you to be the first to fuck my ass.”

 When you raise your head you find a newfound determination in her eyes - that ‘fuck me’ look, magnified a thousandfold. Before it was sexy - now it was downright lustful.

 Nayeon turns her body so that she is lying face down on her stomach, spreading her legs to allow you between them. When she looks back at you there is nothing but need and lust in her eyes.

 Your cock is already slick and wet with her juices, but you take a moment regardless to spit into your palm and stroke your rock hard shaft, ensuring it is lubricated enough for what was to come. You feel your heart beating fast and hard - the anticipation made your skin tingle.

 When Nayeon reaches behind her and spreads apart the cheeks of her ass, revealing her small, tight asshole - you had to remind yourself to breathe. It takes some effort, but you soon place the very tip of your glistening cock at her entrance, and you take a moment to spit one more time, the saliva landing right where your bodies met. Using your right hand to guide your shaft, you tease her ass with your tip, lubricating it as much as you could.

 “Enough,” Nayeon hisses, her face half pressed into the mattress, “fuck me now. Fuck my ass, baby. I want you to take every part of me. I want you to fuck my ass.”

 You push forward, and while it takes some effort, you finally enter Im Nayeon’s ass.

 Her body tries to fight you every step of the way, but soon the tight ring of her ass gives way to the unyielding flesh of your cock, and eventually your tip is fully inside her. Nayeon lets out a pained gasp into the mattress, and you watch as she grits her teeth as more of you enters her.

 “Are you okay, Nayeon? We can-”

 “No, don’t stop. Keep going. I can handle it.”

 You continue to push forward, your hands caressing her back and shoulders in an attempt to ease her into it. Her tightness is almost overwhelming, her ass a tight ring of muscle that squeezes every inch of your shaft as it enters her. It might have taken a minute, it might have taken an hour - but eventually you are fully inside her, buried to the hilt inside Nayeon’s ass.

 “Oh god,” she gasps at the feel of being filled, “oh god, I feel so full.”

 “Are you okay?”

 “Yes… yes, I want this. I want you in my ass. Now fuck me.”

 You withdraw your cock for the first time - and when you look down and watch every inch of your shaft appear from between the round cheeks of her ass - it is almost overwhelming. But just as wonderful is the feeling of entering her again, and finding your soft, steady rhythm as you begin to fuck Nayeon’s ass.

 “Oh, oh god,” Nayeon says, repeating that mantra, “oh god, keep going like that.”

 Satisfied that you’d found a rhythm that didn’t cause her unnecessary pain, you continue to pump in and out of her, relishing every entry and exit into and out of her young, firm body, her ass clenched tightly around every inch of you as it penetrates her again and again.

 Nayeon is the first to raise the stakes.

 “Get on your knees,” she says. You bury yourself fully inside her, drawing out a gasp of pleasure from her lips before raise yourself to your knees. Taking care to keep you fully inside her, she gets on her own knees before you, until you are both kneeling on the bed with you behind her. The newfound intimacy of this position was welcome, and you wrap both your hands around her slim torso, cupping her small, perfect breasts in each of your hands.

 “Fuck me like this,” she says softly, “fuck my ass like this.”

 You resume pumping in and out of her, the position allowing you easier access to her butt - but you are surprised to find that she is rocking back and forth on her own, driving herself back to meet each of your thrusts. For long minutes you continue to fuck, your shaft drilling in and out of Nayeon’s tight, hot ass, her body pounding back against you with each thrust. Your hands roam her tight, sweaty little body, sometimes squeezing a breast, sometimes clenched around her waist or shoulders - anything to grasp her in your arms, tighten your grip on her as though you never wanted to let her go and lose the delicious pleasure that her body was giving you.

 Nayeon breaks free from your grasp, eventually, leaning forward with her arms. She continues to push herself back onto your cock as you thrust forward - every thrust, every feel of her tight ass clenched around your shaft driving you closer and closer to orgasm. You look down, watching your wet cock slide in and out of her hole - and you think you might pass out.

 “Oh, fuck, Nayeon - that’s so fucking hot.”

 “You like it?” she says, the words a breathy hiss, “you like fucking me like this? Fucking my ass like this?”

 “Fuck yes, Nayeon… Oh! Fuck… fuck, you feel so good. I’m not gonna last very long.”

 “Mmmmm oh god… Just cum when you want to… just cum for me… cum inside me… cum inside my ass. I want you… to be the first… to fill my ass with cum.”

 You are almost ashamed to admit it, ashamed that her first anal sex experience might be too short - but her body was too overwhelming, too wonderful to fight. It was all too much - the residual feelings from your past relationship, her reappearance into your life, her beauty and sexiness and utter physical perfection, the fact that she wanted you to be the first to claim her ass - all too fucking much to resist.

 “Fuck, Nayeon, I’m cumming!” you hiss, and Nayeon’s only reply is a breathy moan that turns into a plea.

 “Yes… cum inside… my ass!”

 You bury yourself as deep as you can inside her, your hands clenching tightly around her waist and hips as you finally lose control and tumble willingly over the edge into pure bliss, your shaft pulsating as it sends stream after stream of thick, hot semen inside Nayeon’s clenching ass, the white cum painting her rectum with white.

 It might have taken you hours to recover from the stars that dazzle your vision and the feeling of lightheadedness as your orgasm overtakes each of your senses. You are only vaguely aware of slipping out Nayeon’s body, and the needy, high pitched whine that escapes her lips when you finally leave her. A trail of thick white cum soon emerges from her hole, a trickle that becomes a stream that flows down her thighs and onto the bedsheets.

 There are no more words that could possibly be said between you, and so you fall into a tangle of exhausted limbs and sweaty bodies, your arms entangled with one another. You find her cheek, bring her face to yours, and the kiss that you share makes you feel like you’d found something you’d long thought was lost.

 ---

 Nayeon was right - she was still insatiable.

 The shower you shared when you both awoke only turned into one after you’d fucked again - when she dropped to her knees and took you into her mouth you didn’t think you’d ever get around to actually cleaning yourselves. But after you’d picked her up from the shower floor and fucked her against the cool tile, you both finally managed to achieve some semblance of cleanliness - even if the sight of her wet body as she rubbed a bar of soap all over herself, your own cum still dripping from her pussy, made it difficult to concentrate on actually cleaning yourself.

 You’re the first out of the shower, and you collapse onto the bed while Nayeon finishes drying her hair in the washroom. You grab your phone off the nightstand and scroll through your messages.

 The first few texts were from Jeongyeon - memes, mostly, and one or two messages telling you she was bored, and had nothing to do; it was far too late to respond to them now, however, and you felt some momentary guilt at having missed what was obviously an invitation from her to meet up.

 Sana came next - in the form of a few suggestive photos of herself in various skimpy outfits, all seemingly from a clothing store’s dressing room; in each one she was leaning forward, giving you a good look at the tight cleavage she was so fond of showing you. “Maybe these would look better on your hotel room floor,” she said in a follow up message that was far from subtle.

 A single text from Mina surprised you and brought a smile to your lips - “I’m getting promoted to head of legal affairs at JYP,” she’d said, “so I get my choice of post. Save me a spot on your team.”

 The last message came from Momo - a simple address of a meeting place she’d chosen. You’d asked her the night before if she and her team were willing to meet to discuss the next stage in the operations against Irene. Her response was just an address and a time to be there - a far cry from the long, cutesy texts she used to send you all the time.

 You allow yourself a moment of sadness at that last thought, but it is one that quickly flees your mind when Nayeon re-emerges from the bathroom. She is naked, of course, her skin still flushed and glistening from her shower, her hair still damp and falling around her head in thin, wavy strands. 

 In her hands is a shiny object, something you were quite familiar with long ago, something you never thought you’d see again - a red leather collar, to which was attached a length of silver chain.

 She doesn’t speak a word - not when she gets on the bed, not when she straddles you, not when she places soft kisses on your body that start on your stomach and begin to trace a path up your body, until she places a soft kiss upon your lips.

 She straightens, sitting atop your lap in all of her naked glory, water dripping deliciously down her perfect round breasts and her flat stomach. She undoes the clasp of the collar with long, dainty fingers, and places it around her neck. When it is sufficiently tightened, she gathers the chain in her hands, finding the end of it with her left hand. She bends once more to kiss you, her left hand tracing a path along your right arm. When she reaches your hand, she pushes the phone in it away with her own hand.

 The phone falls over the side of the bed - and Nayeon replaces it with the end of the silver chain. She bends her head, kissing your cheek, before bringing her lips to your ear.

 “How would you like to take me, master?”

[dantesintegrity]

Higurashi Gou Theory [DEBUNKED] - Satoshi's Bat

So I was just watching the first episode of Gou again, because now that we are on the Penultimate Episode of the Arc 3, I think it is important to examine the events that had happened so far, so that is what I did. As I was watching the Scavenger hunt Club Game, we were shown this:

Satoshi’s Bat, it was shown in the very first episode, but back then when we were shown this, we thought that this show was going to be a Reboot, and since we knew that Keiichi was going to use this Bat in Onikakushi, we smiled as we saw this, you know, as a sort of Chekhov’s Gun.

Then it was revealed that, no, this isn’t a Reboot, and that this was an entirely different Story. Keiichi listened to Rika, Keiichi trusted Rena, then Keiichi one upped Caesar after being stabbed 34 times in the chest. Which, to put it lightly, was not what we expected. So, we found out then and there that this show is not going to be like the original, and quickly shifted our attention to the upcoming Watadamashi-hen upon finding out what else has changed...

But what about Satoshi’s Bat?

I thought for a second, ‘was that just an unresolved Chekhov’s gun?’ Cause the Bat was never used in first arc. However, do you guys remember what was literally shown- not even a second before this Picture?

The KO box, the one that was used to prank Satoko.

So in the same episode, we were shown an example of Chekhov’s gun; we saw the box before, and it was used later on.

What does this imply about the Bat?

The simple answer would be that the Bat will be used to kill someone, probably by Keiichi. Keyword, Simple. I do think that the Bat is important, but not the way we think it will be.

Who’s Bat is that? Satoshi’s.

The Bat doesn’t imply that it will be used as a weapon for Murder, the Bat is acknowledge the Existence of Satoshi.

But Satoshi was never mentioned in the first episode, hell, not even in the first two arcs... Except, he was.

Satoshi has always, and has constantly been mentioned- BY NAME- ever since the beginning of Episode 2. Where was he mentioned? In the Opening.

Quite literally, the first thing we see in the Opening- is Satoshi’s.

This is where we have to acknowledge one important thing when watching Anime, we speak English. And Because we speak English, All we see when reading that is ‘ 悟史.’ However if we knew Japanese, we would read that as ‘Satoshi.’ Even if we hadn’t watched or read the Original series, We could have saw that and read it as ‘Satoshi,’ then we would have known that that is Satoshi’s Bat. Meaning that by the time we watch the Second episode, or the opening, we would have known of the Existence of Satoshi.

Also, while we are discussing the Opening, I think it is important to note something.

The Bat is the first image in a sequence of Five; a Bat, a Hatchet, a Gun, a Taser, and a Teddy bear.

There’s something to be said about he Teddy bear, but for now I will not Comment on it. Instead, I will be focusing on who these Images are associated with: Keiichi, Rena, Mion, Shion, and Satoko... However there is no Association for Rika- who is, the most important Character out of all of them.

Now that is what the Association is, when we first see it. The Bat is Keiichi’s.

Except, that would imply that Keiichi will use the Bat.

In the Three arc so far, we have seen Keiichi make the Correct decision.

He Trust’s Rena.

He Gives Mion The Doll.

And he Is Against the Murder of Teppei.

In all instances he is making the right choices that won’t lead to a bad end.

However, Time and Time again, These timelines end in, or will end in Tragedy.

It’s as if there is something in the Background that we are not seeing, that are leading to these horrible ends... Let’s keep this thought in the back of our mind for now.

So where am I going with this? If Keiichi has been making the right decision, and tries to avoid the Violence, then there is no real reason why we should associate him with the Bat. We shouldn’t associate him with anything... Like Rika.

There is a theory that Satoko is a Looper like Rika, and that she is actually the Culprit behind everything. People have pointed to certain moments and theories that would partially explain that Idea.

However, if there is one person who would make the most sense of being a Looper, it’s Keiichi. He has been having memories of previous arcs, We’ve seen him remember moments of previous arcs- like the board game competition in Watadamashi, he remembers killing Rena and Mion in Onikakushi, and remembers killing Teppei in Tatarigoroshi. He doesn’t need to be a looper, No-one other than Rika technically needs to be a looper. However, if there is an possibility that somebody else is a looper, it would be Keiichi.

With that in mind, the two most important characters are Rika, and Keiichi. And the Five associations in the opening are really of Satoshi, Rena, Mion, Shion, and Satoko.

Satoshi currently exists within the Shadow of Keiichi.

There is more I want to say but for now, I will leave my theory as that. Just a simple acknowledgement of Satoshi’s existence. Because I do believe that he carries a very, very important role in Gou.

[randomavatarfan]

Nekodamashi-hen Eps1-4

himatsubushi-hen was the turning point of the og series, or at least was supposed to be.  All the pieces are finally on the board and the central mystery behind all the noise is laid out.

Please see my ramblings on Nekodamashi-hen and comment with your own theories and interpretations!

:readmore:

<!--more>

[[MORE]]

Rika's resolution in Ep1 that she was only going to allow 5 more loops made me reconsider what Nekodamashi-hen's place in the plot was.  This would be a longer chapter leading up to the resolution a la Matsuribayashi-hen, or maybe she would find resolve to keep fighting, which as of ep3 seems to be where it's going.

Ep1 introduces the sword that can kill loopers like Rika, and there's a little caveat with it.  First is that it's missing.  Second, there's the possibility of another looper.

I like to think these may be red herrings or at least not to do with the one pulling the strings.  The culprit doesn't need to be a looper, as we've seen in Matsuribayashi-hen. Takano's certain victory had nothing to do with her reliving any part of her life, but rather just sheer determination to become great.  The sword went missing well in advanced of the festival, at least by the time Takano and Tomitake broke into the saiguden on the festival night.

Takano's role is a puzzle however.  Her MO is completely different- stealing a van alongside Tomitake instead of just injecting him and inducing L5 symptoms until he kills himself. The Yamainu are still around, but they're not creating the GHD. But Ep2 makes me think it's still her somehow involved.

 Akasaka, Akane, Kimiyoshi, and even Keiichi all give their "villainous speeches" that came straight out of Document 34, which we know Miyo would use to manipulate people. Rika being at the center of the murders (Oiishi's rant) were not one that she gave in the original, but that still doesn't rule her out. Satoko's motive however and doesn't translate well if you assume every killer we saw in Nekodamashi-hen so far was a result of Takano's manipulation. 

My current theory is that Document 34 was the bait used for the others but maybe another event occurred to set Satoko off. I don't think Takano is the puppet master this time even if she did play a role in rule x. 

Rika's life at St Lucia's is more important than they're letting on, but what we've seen so far is red herring. I think her original death in 1988 is important but had a lot more than "oh she left Hinamizawa."  I'm kinda upset that she's going through that guilt. So much trauma occurred there that she should be able to have been happy outside Hinamizawa where she suffered for so long. I'm wondering if her initial death was a call for help or at least otherwise overlooked- something that happened in 1983 caused her death in 1988. That's going to be the key.

The satoko culprit theory is what we end with on ep4, so let's turn this chessboard around:

Onidamashi-hen ends with a struggle between Rika and Satoko. The struggle between Rena and Keiichi was just filler. Original Onikakushi-hen really didn't see anything about Rika's struggle so it's a similar deal I guess.

Watadamashi-hen last saw Rika go to what appears to be Yamainu who were also planning on executing Document 34/GHD. Either Yamainu succeeded in killing Rika and the Banken prevented GHD, or potentially Satoko killed her. It's still hard to say at this point.

Whether she killed Rika or not in this chapter,  Satoko's roll of the dice did play an effect in the story. Shion's focus specifically on Rika during the ladder scene rather than Satoko's cursed blood can be interpreted that at that point she was being played by Satoko.  Why was she at the Sonozaki residence? Probably being confronted by Mion who saw something going on,  or otherwise continued manipulation of Shion.

Tataridamashi-hen, finally, the most inexplicably strange chapter of the first three questions, is essentially a retelling of the answer arc Minagoroshi-hen rather than Tatarigoroshi-hen it was named for. What was Satoko doing in this one? She didn't have much chance to set her gameboard. But I did notice her behavior during the altercation between "Teppei" and Keiichi. It does seem rather calm. I think she induced L5 in Keiichi.

we have some sort of confirmation now that Takano is not after Rika or a GHD, but we're not sure on why: Is this a manipulation on Satoko's part, or is this something else. Memories of a past fragment does not equal a looper, as we've seen with Keiichi. Could she have woken up with a bad dream of how Matsuribayashi-hen ended? And the string of loops throughout Nekodamashi-hen, were they all a result of Satoko, or did Takano or even the Yanainu have a hand in it, as implied by the references of Document 34

I don't like invoking the Umineko witches to explain Higurashi. It's a nice metaphor though, and I'll use it here;

We're not seeing a Lambdadelta game. We don't see that certainty that we saw with Takano's game: Rika is killed by Takano, and then Hinamizawa is destroyed. Rika's deaths are always different in each game, in each loop. There is no pattern or certainty other than Rika dies.

We are seeing, however, something more like Beatrice's game. The only certainty is that everyone is dead, but the manner in which they die are so different, and the rules are much more higher level and conceptual than the og higurashi rules.

Rule X: Someone succumbs to Hinamizawa Syndrome causing the tragedy.

Rule Y: On the night of the Watanagashi, Takano and Tomitake go missing.

Rule Z: The will is strong enough to overcome the Yamainu's plan to kill Rika.

I think rule Z is the most important clue we have: Satoko is good, but is she good enough to be able to affect the actions of a town who essentially ostracized her? She has a hell of a motive but using her friends as collateral seem out of character, even if she is L5. If not her, who has the ability to overcome a certain fate so easily?

If Satoko is a looper and the culprit, how can she be stopped? Apologizing didn't do much; as it appears, she's not ready to forgive. Teppei might slow her down but not enough. Is she really possessed by Oyashiro? Why would Hanyuu do such a thing?

Please share your own thoughts. I know this was a ramble.

[linskywords]

criminal-minds-fanfiction wrote a bunch of questions for authors that you’re supposed to let people ask you, buuuut I felt like answering all of them instead of doing my actual job this afternoon. 😄 Here we go:

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

Like 25 maybe? I started writing about a year after I started reading it. I had a fanfiction-deprived adolescence, y’all.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

The hockey boys pulled me in years ago and they haven’t let me go. I do sometimes write other things: I almost always participate in Yuletide, and I’ve actually written a bunch of Animorphs fic under a different name (ask me if you want to see it!). Mostly hockey RPF, though.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Haha neither. Well, I guess OC’s, if I had to choose -- I don’t read or write reader inserts. But I tend to keep OC’s for original fiction.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

I was very confused about fic having genres before I realized this was probably referring to the genre of the canon works. Um...sports. :D

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Don’t make me choose my favorite child. Um, probably the first wolfverse story -- I don’t know if it’s the best one, but I’m very grateful to it for starting the ‘verse!

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

None of them, if that’s an option. If I really had to choose...probably the Kirk/Spock fic I never finished even after uploading it to AO3 and promising to finish it this time. I still want to finish it!! But it would be the first to go.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

I don’t have a strong preference. Afternoon/evening. I like having multi-hour blocks, and I use the Forest app to keep me off my phone while I do it.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Plot bunnies come from all over the place: random thoughts, memes, real-life conversations, suggestions from other fandom people. I tend to have a pretty strong “THIS IS A STORY I WANT TO WRITE” response when something grabs me the right way.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Haha this is probably why I’m not supposed to just answer all of these in order. XD I’ll answer for my current WIP: the scene where Geno kisses Sid for the first time. So soft. So angsty. 😈 (My own story has cursed me to love Geno. I am doomed.)

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

In general: I know how my stories are going to end when they start. Sometimes it does evolve a bit as I write. One thing I’d like to play with is including more of the main characters being together at the end of the story, instead of ending it at the moment when they get together; the latter makes sense from a tension perspective, but I’ve been finding when I read lately that I want more of the happy times at the end, so I’m going to try to move in that direction.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Only for typos, I think.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Ooooh. Either Patrick Kane or Jonathan Toews. There’s something so compelling to me about Patrick’s fanon voice. And every love interest in every original story I try to write is Jonny.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

I...don’t really write about characters I don’t like? I wish Auston Matthews would shave his mustache.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

About fifty percent of the titles I come up with are desperate scrambles because I’ve got nothing. The other fifty percent I have a perfect song lyric for from the start.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

I only write OC’s in original fiction, but: I’ve been phonebanking lately, and I’ve been writing down all the good names I come across. The best so far is someone with the last name Quackenboss.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

MAGIC.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

Oh...oh no. Um.

“It doesn’t matter what he was thinking about. His knot popped; that’s the important thing.”

Some of you can probably guess what that’s about. :)

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Mostly on my computer. I have a lot of beginnings of stories I haven’t finished yet; many of them I’ll probably go back to. I tend not to post things until I’m done or close to done with them. (That one Star Trek fic being an exception. Mea culpa.)

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

YES. The 1988 timer one and the 1988 story where Patrick’s a girl who sneaks onto the Blackhawks in disguise. I’d love to do a Bennguin version of both of those.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Hm. Some of them I think I rushed a little. More Than I Could Ever Promise, I think it needs a good old-fashioned battle scene in the mountains at the end to really round out the plot.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Have I mentioned astolat? What, only two or three hundred times? I should mention her again, then. Give me that woman’s ability to plot. Inject it into my veins.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Haha. I often have slightly cringy moments in my old stories. You Made My Life an Adventure, I definitely didn’t really know what I was doing yet...

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I usually listen to music.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Turned on.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes. The sequel to My Heart Forgets to Beat.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

The Sid/Geno wolfverse story I’m working on now is maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever written. The language barrier is such a new challenge for me.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I don’t formally outline, but I tend to have a sense of the major plot beats. One reason I love writing fic is that the plot and world tend to be straightforward enough for that. I have a lot more trouble doing that with original fiction.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

This will radically reduce the amount of time I spend writing original fiction.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Like You Have a Secret I think is less read than some of the others because it’s het, but I really love it. Similarly, some of my stories that are inspired by other works (Tangled, Doctor Who, The Giver) tend to be read less because people think they need to know the source material, when really I deviate from the source material so much it’s not important.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Huh. Probably not. I’m definitely surprised when some stories take off -- Kinda Narrows It Down I wrote pretty quickly, on a whim, and I was surprised by the extent to which it resonated with people. Turns out lots of people think Tyler was coming out in that tweet. XD

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

Ooh. Ignoring the terms of this question, but: I just read this TK/Patty story and loooved it. It’s a different take on werewolves than the one I use in wolfverse, and it’s super compelling:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24029188

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Hahahahahaha. (I mean...less so than you might think.)

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

I absolutely love it when people write screaming flaily responses to my fic. Also anytime anyone says that they’ve been having a tough time and my story was exactly what they needed. Maybe my favorite was the responses to More Than I Could Ever Promise that told me it read like a novel; that meant a lot to me right then.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Fandom is amazing; people almost never give me concrit. I did have someone ask once if I randomly chose when to stop writing and just ended my stories there. I was pretty offended, since of course that’s not true at all, but I can see where they were coming from: my stories tend to wrap up after the characters get together, and sometimes there’s a lot of potential story left to tell at that point. But stories have to end sometime.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I tend to share them! I find other people’s enthusiasm to be strongly motivating, and sometimes people have awesome suggestions I wouldn’t have thought of.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

Well, I only have the one. XD Sid...is about to have an important conversation with Mario.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

Ooh, I’m not sure I’m the write person to answer! No idea, really. My recent TK/Patty is probably pretty funny. Or maybe Quality Time, where Patrick doesn’t understand why he keeps losing track of time when he’s cuddling with Jonny. Anything with a super dumb protagonist, probably.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

Wow, I have no idea. I’ve never really written a story with someone, so I’m not sure how that would work. I want to say astolat again but honestly I’d be too intimidated.

...no, I’m gonna say astolat. Even if I made a fool of myself I think I would learn a ton.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third. For some original stuff I like first person, but third feels right for the hockey boys.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

My close friends do. Most of my friends have the vague idea I write fic, but they don’t know my username or anything.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

Patrick Sharp. No question.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

I will legit listen to a new album with a doc open to write down promising lyrics. Titles are HARD, y’all.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

I think people guessed where the Tangled fic was going. Though I also liked the guesses that it would be about Patrick’s mullet. XD I don’t really mind when people guess twists -- in the kind of story I write, it’s more about the experience of reading it than about surprise!

44) What is the last line you wrote?

“His parents have always been very respectful of any choices Sid’s wanted to make. They haven’t pried into his private life when he’s tried to set boundaries. But they’re wolves, and they know him a lot better than Jordy does. Sid isn’t going to be able to keep it a secret from them what he’s going through.”

...no guarantee it survives in that form. :D

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Getting the story out of my head and into reality! Spoon out that lake, baby.

I also do love the prospect of posting it for people to enjoy and respond to. It’s one of the reasons I find fic so much more rewarding than original fiction, where the timeline to a readership is so much longer.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

Things, probably.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

This exercise might be going off the rails a bit. (If anyone does want to pose this to me, feel free!)

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Ooh. Mutual pining. Friends to lovers. Werewolves. :D

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

The first fic I ever, ever read was a random Kirk/Spock one I found through google, and I was like “OMG IS THIS WHAT AROUSAL FEELS LIKE”

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Oh man. Angst, as long as it can have a happy ending. But it just wouldn’t be the same without the smut.

[addierose444]

Back to Campus: Spring 2021

It has been 10 long months since I last stepped foot on the Smith College campus (or out of my home state for that matter). I am now officially back! Hooray! As I said in a recent post, I was prioritized for early arrival due to my job in ResLife as a Community Advisor. As I only just got here and am far from being settled in, this post is mostly just about the process. Hopefully this year I will actually post a room tour of sorts! (Last year, I literally only posted a photo of my emptied out room).  

Back in mid-December, I signed up for an arrival slot (2:00 on Friday the 22nd of January). I was so excited about returning to campus that I started packing quite a while ago. To make the packing process easier in the future, I created an extensive packing list. To read my college essentials guide, click here. On Friday, my dad drove me to Smith. Before returning to campus, we stopped by the house of some family friends to grab the rest of my dorm essentials. Since Massachusetts considers my state (Vermont) high-risk, I wasn’t allowed to move directly into my spring housing. At this point in time, Massachusetts and Hawaii are the only states with low-risk status. 

My house, Parsons, has been using Discord for our virtual house community. You can read about the other apps I use in (remote) college here. As I was the first one on campus, I decided to keep my residents updated on the check-in and quarantine process. This was not part of my job in ResLife, but it definitely felt relevant to that work. Even though I am a returning student and in ResLife, I didn’t fully know what to expect and figured others would appreciate a student’s perspective. I was already planning on writing this blog post but decided to just compile my updates here. For starters, I didn’t see the need for a total rewrite. I also thought it would be a fun and different post style. Lastly, I think there is value in knowing what people are thinking in the moment rather than just reflectively. Note that my updates are written to my Parsons residents and weren’t edited to reflect the audience of this blog. I did add some additional images to this blog post, but most were also sent via Discord.

Friday @ 1:19

Parsons in real life! 

Friday @ 4:07

Just a quick update. I have moved into my quarantine location and thought I would let you all know a little more about the check-in process from a student's perspective. All official information can be found in an email titled "IMPORTANT ARRIVAL INFORMATION". You basically just enter the CC, present your OneCard (unless you are a new student in which case you will receive yours), follow the arrows, and do what you are told. The whole process is quick and easy. The COVID test is painless (you can feel it though) as the swab doesn't need to go super deep into your nose like with other tests. While I strongly advise showing up at your scheduled time, if you are a little bit early, you may be able to check-in anyway. (I checked-in about 20 minutes early without an issue). The only hiccup I had was that I got the wrong room key (my correct room number but for Park House). As it's hard to hear people with masks on, be sure to check the envelope containing your room key and bracelet before leaving the ResLife table (to avoid going around the CC for a second time like I had to). I think check-in will only get better and even going around twice was still very quick and easy. If you have concerns and would like to talk to me about them, feel free to send me an email or direct message me here on Discord. As for moving things into Parsons, it was exhausting as no one was allowed to help me. When you arrive at Parsons, someone (possibly me) should be there to greet you (and make sure you don't stay over an hour). (Some of you may also meet me in the CC as I will be helping distribute keys). See you soon! 

Friday @ 5:02

As for the quarantine location, I am currently quarantined in the Ellery Inn. The other location is the Fairfield Inn & Suites. You can get to either location by way of a free shuttle. (Your ticket is the bracelet you receive at check-in). Students sit far apart with masks, but I personally felt more comfortable having my dad drop me off at the hotel. It is also worth noting that both hotels are within walking distance. The bracelet is also important so that staff in the house know you are allowed to be there. (If you have approved guests (low-risk state), I think they also get bracelets). I haven't learned the whole color-coding system, but my bracelet is red and lists my Parsons and Ellery rooms. My quarantine room is actually really nice. I have a comfortable king-sized bed and my own bathroom. When you arrive you get a bag with a few snacks, water, activities from OSE, and general information (including the wifi password). I will keep you posted on the food situation as dinner is yet to arrive. I will momentarily post the menu that was in my welcome bag. Hopefully, these updates are somewhat helpful or interesting. Let me know if you have specific questions.  

Friday at 5:15

Still waiting on dinner (to be delivered before 7), but here are the aforementioned snacks.

Friday @ 5:34

Dinner! Will let you know how it is soon, but my roommate from last year has said "The chicken is very tender!". Basically what happens is the people delivering the food knock loudly on the door, announce "dinner" and leave paper bags outside your room. Breakfast for tomorrow was also delivered.

Friday @ 6:18

I was initially quite worried about the food situation (during quarantine) as I am a picky eater and didn't get to choose the meal. (It's all based on the food preference form). The first dinner was much better than I feared. The chicken had flavor, was tender, and was fully cooked. The greens were also tasty. The potatoes could have used some ketchup but were pretty good when eaten with the chicken. I don't really like beets, so I just ate a few to try them. They didn't have much flavor but were well cooked. As for the cookies, they had good flavor but were very hard. Overall, I was unnecessarily worried about the food situation but am definitely excited to get out of quarantine to pick my own food among other things.

Friday @ 6:26

Tomorrow's breakfast! Looks pretty good other than the fact I hate bananas. I am most excited about the vanilla soy milk. I just don't get why we get plastic bottled water at each meal.

Saturday @ 11:51

Lunch for day two in quarantine has arrived. Another gripe that I have is that we get a new full set of plastic silverware at each meal. It's the compostable kind, but I don't think it's going to be composted. So far quarantine is boring, but not that bad. There is a TV in the room with cable and Roku. Make sure you pack your quarantine bag carefully as you cannot leave your room until you get an official release email from ResLife. The rooms (at least mine) have a mini-fridge, so if you have food or medications that require refrigeration, not to worry. We got an email today saying that we will be released on Monday at the latest. I initially had the impression we'd get out on Sunday and yesterday it sounded like we may get out today. I am obviously hoping to get out sooner rather than later, but I'll just have to wait and see.

Saturday @ 5:57

Dinner day two. Even though I have been busy with a French essay, I am definitely getting restless here in quarantine.

Saturday @ 6:38

Yesterday's dinner was better than today's, but this one wasn't too bad. The tortillas were dry, so the meal was better and less messy without them. My main critique is that while the beef had good flavor, it was tough. I also think yesterday's greens were a little bit better. Here's what I got for tomorrow's breakfast. I am hoping to be released from quarantine tomorrow, but it could be as late as Monday. Quarantine releases are at noon or 4 pm.

Sunday @ 9:15

I passed my initial COVID screening! (Still waiting on my official release email from ResLife). Just for a reference point, I took my test a little before 2 pm on Friday and got the results email at around 11 last night. (Basically, you get an email letting you know that the lab results are available and are given a registration code to set up your account).

Sunday @ 11:45

Well, I am still in quarantine, but at least lunch has arrived. Noon is fast approaching, so I might not be getting released until 4.

Sunday @ 12:33

I finally received the official release email from ResLife!!! I can leave as soon as 1 pm and must be moved out by 4 pm. Like with arrival, there are shuttles every half hour. Starting tonight I will be ordering my food through the Grubhub app and picking it up myself. I also have another COVID test scheduled for tomorrow.

Sunday @ 1:17

I am officially back at Parsons! (I decided to walk instead of taking the shuttle). Feel free to continue asking questions, but I think this is the end of my arrival updates. See you soon!

[summerbreezeyy]

Love, Huh? - Chapter 6

Finally today arrived. The day you were meeting Yixing. After the dinner with the Oh’s, you texted him you were free the next day, but he had to be in China for a family wedding for a week. You met Yixing back when your ex was finding businesses to invest in, and his club was one of them. You didn’t instantly become friends with him, other than the fact that your ex was super jealous, Yixing was kinda scary at first. He had this intimidating aura, even your ex agreed. But you got closer. In secret though.

For the past week, the boys have barely left you alone. They would try to arrange their schedule so at least one of them would be home. You know they have many friends, especially Chanyeol. Even Kyungsoo has his routine hangouts with his group. And Sehun who likes to drink outside. But lately they’ve just been at home a lot. You overheard Chanyeol couple days ago talking to his friend, “Sorry babe, a bit busy tonight, the comeback is near. But I’ll see you next week at the show okay?” or when you unintentionally and accidentally saw a text message on Kyungsoo’s phone from ‘Kwangsoo-hyung’ that read “We miss you Soo-ya. Hope you can come next time!” when both of them (plus the youngest) were schedule-less and spent the whole night at home drinking with Sehun’s newly bought whiskey.

When all of them had to leave altogether one day, they called and texted you (or facetime at the clingy maknae’s case) all day. You wanted to tell them that you were okay, and to be alone for a couple of hours is totally manageable. But you didn’t, knowing that they still felt guilty (when they shouldn’t have) they couldn’t be there when you needed them. So you let them, do things that would ease their minds.

You told them about your plan today, since they had to finish everything up for their next week’s comeback. Like expected, when you were getting ready to meet Yixing, you checked your phone to find a lot of texts already came in the group chat, the one they already had before they added you in.

Yeollie [10:16] :

Hey @you awake yet?

Se [11:03] :

Sleepyhead wake up

You [12:24] :

Sorry just checked my phone. Been awake since 10 you ass @Se

Almost ready to head out tho, leaving in about 15 minutes. So excitedd!

When are you guys coming home tonight? I was thinking of Ramyeon night?

Kyungsoo [12:26] :

We should be home at around 8 or 9 I think. Don’t wait for us to have dinner. Chanyeol would pick a movie for tonight, but if you’re tired you can go to sleep early. Have fun with your friend and be careful.

Yeollie [12:26] :

At 8!

Oh Soo answered that already lol :p

Have fun we miss youuu!

Wait I thought you were meeting him at 1?

Se [12:27] :

My ass is great, you just jealous

You [12:27] :

*you’re

@Yeollie always the sweetest! I miss you guys too! And this morning when Xing told me the address, turned out the café is just a couple blocks away, so I’m walking there!

@Kyungsoo yes sir!

Se [12:27] :

Hmm.. Kinky

You [12:27] :

Shut up, you’re the only kinky ass in this gc fool, my eyes are still suffering from what I saw

Se [12:28] :

…

Okay I’m shutting up

Yeollie [12:29] :

Ohh! Tell me! I wanna know!

You [12:29] :

If Sehun continued being a brat I would happily tell you :)

Kyungsoo [12:29] :

Back to actually important thing, you’re gonna walk there? Can’t he pick you up or just take a cab instead. It’s safer.

You [12:30] :

I think I could walk just fine, Soo. No need to be paranoid. I’m not dying or anything. Gonna keep annoying your asses for a long time so count on it!

Se [12:31] :

You’ve been saying ‘ass’ waaay too many times today. Didn’t know you’re an ass-kinda girl

You [12:31] :

Sehun, I’m thiiis close to type in what I saw 3 christmas ago in your room when both your hyungs were visiting their parents

By the way, aren’t you guys supposed to be working now?

Get off of your phones! If they fired you and you’re jobless who’s gonna feed me :(

Yeollie [12:32] :

I’m lunching and Soo’s at makeup and Sehun is messing around like usual, we’ll keep our job just fine and you’re gonna be eating good food for the rest of our life!

Oh and by the way, we’re watching Captain America tonight ! But like Soo said, if you’re tired you could just go to sleep!

And please Sehun, keep being annoying. I can’t wait for when she’s fed up with you and finally tell us your kinks.

Se [12:32] :

Yes mommy

@Yeollie interested much ???

You [12:32] :

Ooh, I see, another kink. I’ll keep that in mind, baby ;)

By the way @Yeollie I still find it weird you’re Team Cap but ordered Iron Man costume instead. And don’t worry. I can sense it’s close to when I finally do :)

But not complaining about the movie tho, I got to stare at Chris Evans’ face (and abs and arms) for 2 hours, I don’t even think I’m gonna be sleepy.

Se [12:33] :

Why are you only mean to me :(

He’s weird that’s why! Everyone who’s Team Cap is weird!

You [12:33] :

Faulty logic. You’re Team Iron Man but still the weirdest out of all of us

Yeollie [12:33]:

*online high-five*

And Team Cap rocks!

You [12:33] :

Preach!

Se [12:34] :

@Kyungsoo hyuuung help me they’re bullying me :(

Kyungsoo [12:34] :

Oh I didn’t tell you? I’m also Team Cap.

Se [12:34] :

HYUNG! HOW COULD YOU?

You [12:34] :

Should we change this gc name to ‘Cap’s bitches’?

[12:35] Yeollie changed group name to “Cap’s Bitches”

Se [12:35] :

HYUNG SERIOUSLY!

Kyungsoo [12:35] :

Jesus

At this point you were laughing close to tears. You continued eating your lunch, a text came in, from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo [12:37] :

Hey you had lunch yet?

You [12:37] :

Eating rn!

Kyungsoo [12:37] :

Good. Don’t forget your meds too

You [12:37] :

Yes daddy

Kyungsoo almost choked on his drink, that his makeup noona looked at him weird.

“Funny pic,” he half-assedly explained.

You [12:37] :

Wait that came out weird

Sorry lol

Kyungsoo [12:38] :

You should thank God this is not the gc

You [12:38] :

Sehun won’t let it go I know :)

Hell I think Chanyeol would also tease me about it

By the way I’m gonna head out shortly

Have a fun day at work! See you tonight! xx

Kyungsoo [12:39] :

See you, and be safe.

Leaving Kyungsoo and the group chat (that was just filled with Sehun’s whining at this point) on read, you finished your dishes and went back to your room to grab your bag. Picking up the phone you left on the counter, you saw the last messages on the group chat.

Se [12:44] :

I hate everyone

[12:45] Se changed group name to “im leaving the band”

A laugh came out from you. Finally things were starting to be normal again. Except of course the constant nagging and worries from them. But you found yourself liking it, that they care about you. And of course, it did feel nice to bicker with Sehun after so long.

“I miss your bratty ass,” you smiled mumbling to no one.

When you were checking out the chat, someone rang the doorbell. Weird, no one was supposed to come over.

You [12:45] :

Hey anyone expecting someone today?

I thought the cleaner was supposed to come tomorrow?

After the quick texts, they didn’t answer and the bell rung again. So you took a look at the peephole, and found the person you didn’t expect standing in front of the door.

“BAEKHYUN!” you exclaimed.

“GIRLIE I MISSED YOU!” he then proceeded to hug you.

“What are you doing here?!”

Baekhyun let you go before answering, “Your boyfriends told me you needed company today!”

Ah, of course. The boys.

“They told me to come last week too, but I was busy so I couldn’t. I was so sad I couldn’t see you earlier. It’s been sooooo long!!” he explained.

You hugged once again, indeed, missing him. Before the shitshow happened, he was one of your closest friends other than the EXO, the boys’ band. You then told him you were meeting Yixing and he was more than happy to come with you.

So you walked with him to Yixing’s café. He started to talk about the things you missed out about him, like how he became the million seller with his last album, the first Korean solo artist to do so in 19 years (yes go off king), and some of the guys he dated. He also mentioned his plan to collab with Kyungsoo again and how he had high hopes about it, since the first made him got a best friend in the latter and also in you and the two others.

It took him about 10 minutes before asking, “So what happened?”

“Bad relationship, and like usual, they were there to pick up my pieces,” you answered with a sincere smile.

Baekhyun didn’t pry. And that was really what he really need to know. That you were okay.

15 minutes of walking and you finally arrived. And you didn’t even have to enter the café to find Yixing, he was standing on the entrance looking down to his watch and phone. He only looked over when you called his name, and you launched into each other’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he held you.

“Again, not your fault, and never will be.” You stepped back from him and introduced him to the other person. “This is Baekhyun, and this is Yixing,” you said to both and Yixing offered his hand. Baekhyun zoned out for a minute before shaking the other’s hand.

“Come in! And choose your favorite treat please!” the tallest welcomed you in.

After choosing the mouthwatering red velvet cake and rose tea for yourself, all three of you were seated in one of the tables.

“So I never knew you had a café,” you said to Yixing.

“You know I’m a sweet tooth. Once I’ve saved enough, this happened,” he gestured the café. “Have you been okay?”

“Yes, how ‘bout you?”

“Me? I’m okay. Well not really. I’m drowning in debts cause I made a leap of faith when this lot became available couple of months ago, so,” he laughed.

You laughed with him too, “Your parents are rich, Xing. You need to worry about nothing.”

“Exactly why I’m not depressed about the debts,” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “Is this one of the guys you live with?” he asked pointing at the guy sitting next to you, currently head deep in his strawberry watermelon cake.

You chuckled seeing Baekhyun’s excitement eating the treat. “No. He’s their friend though. Mine too.”

Realizing he was being talked about, he looked sheepishly to the both of you. “Sorry, this is really good,” he talked with his mouth full.

“By the way, where do you live? You said it’s not far?” Yixing asked you. When you told him the name of the building, his eyes widen. “No way.”

“What?”

“I live there too!”

“No way.”

“Do you live there too?” Yixing asked Baekhyun this time.

“Sadly, no.”

All of you ended up talking about music, with Baekhyun giving songs recommendation for Yixing to play in his café, most of them are his songs though. Not that anyone complained, his songs are bombs. Baekhyun also asked about business things, turned out he was thinking about opening up a clothes store for his brand.

“Sorry I have to take this,” Baekhyun said when his phone rang, and he walked out of the café.

“Does he know?” Yixing asked once Baekhyun left.

“A little bit.”

“The other guys?”

“They know.”

“Good. You need the support.” He paused again. “I’m really sorry though. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Like I’ve said over and over again, it is not your fault.”

“His mom called a couple days ago.”

Your breath hitched. “Why?”

“He’s been spiraling out of control.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “But why would she call you and not his friends?” They were friends yes, Yixing and your ex. But not that close.

“She asked my number around, knowing I know you, to ask me to tell you. She’s his mom but still a woman. She couldn’t ask you for this.”

“For what?”

“A call. To him.”

And this time you were sure you weren’t breathing. “What happened to him?” you asked him with your head hung low.

Yixing took your hand in his, “Drugs.”

Your head snapped up. “What?”

He took a deep breath before continuing to explain, “He did drug business behind my back at the club, another reason I closed it down other than the fact that all the investors left after what happened. And the police knew. That’s why they tried to push you into suing him, cause they don’t have enough proof to put him behind bars. He never used them before. But his mom told me he’s been doing it. And she begged me to let you know, to ask you to call him. Just once, to tell him to stop.”

Your head fell again, you were holding back tears. You were afraid, of him. You were afraid of what he did to you and also about what would happen to him.

“You don’t have to do it, not after what he did to you.”

“I… I’ll think about it,” you replied weakly.

“Don’t think too hard. I don’t agree with this too. I only told you because his mom literally begged me on her knees to let you know. But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?”

You just nodded. When Baekhyun came back, you tried to fake a smile and masked your feelings. After about another hour, with promises of visiting in the future, you left. As both of you walked out of the café, you turned to your side to the guy who spent the last hour staring at your friend, “You know, he’s gay, he’s single, definitely ready to mingle, and I also noticed his interest in you” you watched his eyes twinkled, “Go get that dick,” you lightly smacked his bottom as he blushed and walked in once again to face the guy behind the cashier. You saw them pulling out their phones, clearly exchanging numbers. “Happy?” you asked as Baekhyun came out smiling wide.

“I just got myself a sugar daddy, of course I’m happy!”

“Oh don’t even try. He’s my sugar daddy.”

“Honey, you already have 3, you don’t need more.”

[our-time-is-now]

April 25, 2019: Don’t deprive him of the opportunity to decide for himself

(previous play)

(Joint project from @riddikulus und @shakshuka-grandpasweaters, translated from @girlwholovesagirl, @divingdeepintothewater, @m-ger and @julerocks. Please find the first play here. Here is the timeline and the link to the original blog @unsere-zeit-ist-jetzt. If you would also like to help translate, please contact one of us.)

Thursday, 8:34 pm

David/ Laura: *sits in his room at his desk with his phone in his hand and stares at the two blue check marks which show him that Matteo saw the drawing he send him two days ago* *hadn’t expected an answer and basically doesn’t know what exactly he expected at all just knows that he misses Matteo incredibly and hopes that he is doing better* *puts his phone away and stares at this sketchbook or rather at the drawing he finished two hours ago and uploaded to instagram - if someone knew him, if someone knew his secret, one could interpret a lot into this drawing. But it could also just be a normal drawing without any meaning* *likes somehow that the interpretation is left open to the viewer* *turns some pages back and stares at the drawings of Matteo he has next to his story about the fox and some other everyday moments he captured: Matteo with closed eyes, relaxed, Matteo laughing, Matteo with his wild hair which fall into his face, Matteo slightly absent, Matteo smiling, Matteo and his hands (even though he hates drawing hands and isn’t really good at it, but the moment he held Matteo’s hand was just too important and big)*

*barely notices that Laura enters his room and doesn’t look up when she puts a cup of cocoa on his desk, instead just mumbles a quiet “Thanks”*

*knows that she looks over his shoulder but doesn’t has the energy to hide the pages* *eventually feels Laura’s hand on his shoulder and hears her quiet voice: “You are in love with him”* *no question just a statement and he knows that she is right. That's why he doesn’t contradict her but just sights quietly once*

*she reaches over him and turns the page, he knows that she would stop immediately if he would stop her* *that’s how she is seeing even more drawings of Matteo* *hears her taking in a deep breath while she leans against his desk with her bottom to watch him* *knows that she is currently looking for the right words and will probably find them eventually but he is not sure if he really wants to hear them*

*closes his eyes shortly when she starts talking: “Just tell him, David!”* *shrugs and needs to clear his throat so his voice wouldn’t sound too hoarse, it still sounds pathetic and thin* I will loose him… *hears his sister now being more certain: “But this way you will lose him too!”* *knows that she is right but still adds: “But this way he won’t think pejoratively about me”*

*hears his sister making a frustrated noise and feels her hands on his cheeks which forces him to look at her: “Now listen to me, David Schreibner! Nobody thinks pejoratively about you! And if someone does then only because his mental horizon is too limited to understand that there is more than what you get to see every day. And I don’t think that you would fall in love with a boy, who lacks the sensibility to understand what is going on inside of you! It is possible that he can’t or doesn’t want to be with you under these circumstances. But I don’t think that he will think pejoratively of you. If you lose him then because he has a problem. But that’s not you, you know! You are not a problem!”*

*has heard that frequently from his sister but unfortunately he also made the experience that sometimes it is just like that and regarding Matteo he couldn’t bear to go through that again* *knows that it won’t make sense to disagree with her and therefore is quiet what doesn’t stop her to continue: “Basically you have two possibilities: Either you continue to hide in here, staring at these drawings and missing him - then you will lose him either way sooner or later because he will forget about you and continue his life. And to be honest I couldn’t blame him if he would think pejoratively that way because he never got a real explanation why you backed off…”* *presses his lips together and feels a lump forming in the back of his throat* *never really thought about the fact that stopping communicating could lead to Matteo thinking worse about him than he feared*

*is tempted to lose himself in his thoughts but forces himself to continue to listen to Laura: ...or you finally resolve things! Then you either will be at the same point at which you are now but with clarity. Or you have a chance to be happy with him. Did you ever think about that?”*

*sees her smile slightly and shaking her head probably because she knows him so well and continues to listen to her: “How I know you, you play out all possible horror scenarios in your head… But did you ever think about how it would be if he understands you? How it would be if he says he doesn’t care? How it would be if you really had a relationship? Maybe he needs his time to understand. Maybe he never heard anything about transgender in his life before and first needs to read about it or has a million questions. But there is a chance that you mean so much to him that he won’t care. There is a chance that you could be happy.”* *he actually hadn’t given it much thought into the possibility that everything could be fine and is scared to get his hopes up just to be disappointed in the end*

*but now Laura had voiced this thought and it got stuck in his head and he somehow has the feeling that he should let it sink in* *just shrugs and sighs quietly* *doesn’t know what to say* *Laura seems to notice that he doesn’t want to say something because he can again feel her hand squeezing his shoulders slightly* *knows that that a final sentence is likely to come before she will leave him alone and that’s exactly how it is: “Don’t deprive him of the opportunity to decide for himself whether he wants you or not. You wouldn’t like it either if someone else would decide for you! If he really is that great that you fall in love with him in such a short period of time then he deserves to know!”* *feels how she gives him a kiss on his forehead and then leaves his room*

*feels the thoughts racing in his head and stares at the drawings of Matteo in the meantime* *at some point he has the feeling of being unable to grasp a clear thought, closes the sketchbook and lies down on his bed* *is slightly annoyed by the fact that there are these pictures in his head now that pretend he could be happy with Matteo at some point* *has the feeling that these pictures plant a completely unrealistic hope in his head which is fighting the fear that was so omnipresent so far*

(next play)

[mab1905]

84 Questions

original: 

https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs

Someone New (Hozier)

Cactus Tree (Joni Mitchell)

Budapest (George Ezra)

And Dream Of Sheep (Kate Bush)

Nancy Mulligan (Ed Sheeran)

And Then She Kissed Me (St. Vincent)

Level of Concern (Twenty One Pilots)

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

Best For Last (Adele)

Video Killed The Radio Star (The Buggles)

2. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you?

Japan. I travel a lot and it’s been on my list for a while, I would really want to go to the Hayao Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli theme park, if it ever opens that is. I would bring my best friend, Layla. I also would love to go to Amsterdam again.

3. What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) 

My ink nib cartooning pen (similar to a quill, but without the feather)

4. Favourite month and why? 

October, not too hot, not too cold, and of course, Halloween!

5. Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them.

Nope, met several, got to true connections though. 

6. Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are.

My iPad, my Leatherman Multitool, my collection of David Bowie postcards.

7. What brand logo is closest to you currently?

The Apple logo

8. Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites?

Chess. Card games like Solitaire, Black-Jack, and Castle. A game that I can’t remember the name of but it’s essentially a board-game version of Capture The Flag. Mostly Chess.

9. A musical artist you love that isn’t well known

St. Vincent? I’m not sure if she’s well known or not.

10. A musical artist you love that is well known

David Bowie. 

11. What is your desktop background currently?

A picture of Apollo 11 accompanied by the words “It won’t fail because of me”

12. Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them

My best friend Layla, through the iMessage app.

13. First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow

Salmon

14. What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in?

My iPad, my computer, my collection of vintage stopwatches

15. What kind of headphones do you use?

Sony, wireless, noise canceling, over-the ear 

16. What musical artists have you seen perform live?

Twenty One Pilots, Sylvan Esso

17. Does virginity matter to you?

I guess? I think it’s important, it’s certainly some kind of ‘milestone,’ but I don’t think it should be treated like the scale of a persons ‘purity.’ It’s important because it’s sex, and (hopefully) that means that you’re sharing a consensual, intimate experience that feels fucking great for both (or all, if it’s more then two) participants.

18. What gaming consoles do you or your family own?

Z e r o, although I’m hoping to buy a PS4 at some point so I can play Detroit Become Human.

19. What pets do you have? What are their names?

Juno is my cat, she is an adorable grey tiger-striped shorthair. She’s got little white mitten-paws and it’s absolutely ridiculous.

20. What’s the best job you’ve ever had?

Doing tech at a local theater

21. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Teaching art to little kids (I like kids but it was just exhausting)

22. What magazines do you read, if any?

The New Yorker, and the National Geo if I’m like, waiting in my doctor’s office or something.

23. Inspiration behind your URL?

It’s just my initials and a year from the Edwardian era

24. Inspiration behind your blog title?

It’s just my initials 

25. Favourite item of clothing?

My reddish-brown knit sweater vest and my floral bow-tie (often paired together)

26. Are you friends with any exes?

I made a very conscious effort to cut my exe out of my life… we were not happy for a very long time to say the least

27. Name at least one book you loved as a child.

Strega Nona, it’s about an Italian witch that makes great pasta in a magic pasta pot. My dad would read it to me and my sibling in Italian.

28. What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English)

US English

29. What email service do you use?

Gmail

30. Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in?

So many things. Here's the list:

A giant David Bowie poster, a plaque that says “David Bowie IS,” five David Bowie postcards, a giant Abbey Road poster, all of my patches from summer camp, polaroids of me, my friends, and my family (including my cat), ticket stubs from concerts and plays, two trail markers that I took off of fallen trees on two important cross-country backpacking trips I went on, playbills from a bunch of broadway shows I’ve seen, a poster that says “Stonewall was a riot,” a DC Comics poster, a Pink Floyd poster, a few paintings of mine, and a painting that I got for free from a street artist I befriended in Rome when I was twelve

31. What’s your favourite number, and why?

16, 24, 21, and 8, some numbers make me uncomfortable, but these are just very soft and light and nice 

32. Earliest moment in your life you can remember? 

A rocking chair with fruits painted on it sitting in a dark room and my great grandfathers brown leather loafers (I remember early early stuff in just images or stills, not full moments)

33. What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Pasta with shrimp

34. How often do you brush your teeth?

Usually twice a day, but I’ve been waking up later and later and sometimes forget in the mornings

35. What’s your favourite candy/chocolate?

I don’t know the name of it but it’s this chocolate bar that is stuffed with caramel, hot chili flakes, and crunchy bits of baked tortilla. It's one of the greatest things I’ve ever tasted.

36. Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently?

I used to have one but I deleted it because I never used it

37. If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat?

I would probably walk into the kitchen, realize that too eat something I would have to muster the effort to cook something instead, and then decide to just have a glass of milk instead.

38. What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of?

Downton Abbey (primarily Thommy)

Chernobyl HBO (as well as the Leonid Toptunov/Sasha Akimov subfandom)

Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit (books and movies)

CrankGamePlays

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Star Trek TOS

Philosophy Tube

The Dark Crystal and The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance

39. If you could study anything, what would it be?

If I had the energy to fully wrench my life in a completely different direction I would like to become a professional scuba diver and study the ocean. I already am a scuba diver, but it’s a hobby and not something I’m able to do very often at all.

40. Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick)

I’ll wear chapstick if I have a cold

41. How would you describe your sense of humour?

Intellectual and dry

42. What things annoy you more than anything else?

People who think they’re better than everyone else and people who recognize a fault in themselves and then refuse to work to change it

43. What kind of position are you in at the moment?

I’m laying on my bed, hunched over my laptop

44. Do you wear much jewellery?

Occasionally I’ll wear a necklace or a few rings. I have a lot of non-traditional bracelets (I literally just have pieces of canvas and industrial tie-line wrapped around my wrist). I’m a gay guy and I like to sort-a walk the line between feminine and masculine (often leaning more towards the masc side), so it really depends on my mood.

45. Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc)

A cheese-pizza flavored pringle is currently POTUS and every day the thought of that tears away at a piece of my soul. 

46. Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own

@shochmonster @velvet-of-the-night @panicsheerbloodypanic

47. What do you carry your money in?

My pocket, I have a wallet and I don’t use it

48. Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not?

It’s fine, don’t love it don’t hate it

49. Longest drive you have ever been on?

Three days

50. Furthest away from home you have ever been?

Went on a trip to Switzerland to visit family, I think that’s the farthest but I’m not entirely sure.

51. How many times have you moved house?

Twice

52. What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture?

Five paintings, stacks and stacks of books, boxes filled with stuff (mostly more books), plates, glasses, cutlery, clothes

53. How many devices do you own which can access the internet?

2, and iPad and a computer

54. Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy?

Listening to music

55. Is there anything that always makes you sad?

Thinking about my past for too long

56. What programs do you currently have open?

Google drive, I’m writing

57. What do you associate the colour red with?

Blood and fire

58. Last strong smell you can remember smelling?

Shrimp and butter

59. Last healthy thing you ate?

Three green olives and a handful of bean sprouts

60. Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day?

Used to drink coffee like it was life support (which it essentially was), now I’ll have the occasional cup of tea.

61. What do you associate the colour blue with?

Birds and rain

62. How long is the closest ruler you can find?

I don’t think I own one

63. What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing?

I am wearing olive green corduroy slacks

64. When was the last time you drank water?

30 minutes ago?

65. How often do you clear your browser history?

Never

66. Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic?

Nude anything can be artistic, it can also just be normal, eroticism is in the eye of the beholder.

67. Ever written fanfiction for anything?

Yes dear god so much fanfiction.

68. Last formal event you attended

I genuinely can’t remember, I am have extreme social anxiety and don’t go to events like that unless I absolutely have too

69. If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why?

I don’t care about birthdays

70. Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside?

Beach, I love to swim, I’m also a surfer

71. Roughly how many people live in your town?

Uhm… eight times the number of people who live in the state of Montana and that doesn’t count daily commuters and tourists (New York City is essentially just a tin of sardines, except inside are 8.399 million sardines)

72. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?

No, but three of my friends were born on the day just after my birthday.

73. Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores

The Strand Bookstore, L Train Vintage, any antique shops in the town of Hudson, New York 

74. Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one?

I used to have an iPhone 5SE but then it stopped working after a few weeks of quarantine and I haven’t gotten a new one (I’ve had it for about 5-6 years so it makes sense)

75. What is your least favourite colour, and why?

I don’t have a least favorite color, but my favorite color is prussian blue

76. How do you spell grey/gray?

Grey

77. Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link)

It’s anime fanart for a show I’ve never heard of

78. What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow?

3

79. How many posts do you have?

219

80. How many posts have you liked?

619

81. Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content?

Mostly reblogs but I do my own content as well

82. Do you track any tags?

No, just blogs

83. What time is it currently?

10:39

84. Is there anything you should be doing right now?

writing

I’m not quite sure who to tag so it’s just open to anyone I guess?

[wiseabsol]

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? 6. Favorite character you’ve written? 14. What does it take for you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?) 15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing? 19. How do you cope with writer’s block? 24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author? 33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like? 34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? 

My favorite part is when you make discoveries about your world and your characters as you write the story down, and when you write something and go, “Oh, there we go, there’s the solution to this problem that was going to come up later.” For example, I recently had an evil mentor toying with a magical item while giving a lecture to his pupils. The magical item was mundane--essentially, just putty that you could mold into whatever shape you wanted, then solidify, then switch back to putty to reshape. And as I was writing that down, I went, “Oh, THAT’S what my protagonist is going to knock him out with down the line. That’s way better than her using a lamp. Excellent.” 

My least favorite part about writing is getting started. Once I’ve cleared the hurtle of the blank page, writing becomes much easier and more exciting. But getting myself to start has become much harder since I developed my editor/critic’s brain.  

6. Favorite character you’ve written? 

In one of the text-based rps I’m writing with my best friend, I’m playing a shapeshifter named Sparrow, who is charming, funny, flirty, politically-savvy, and super vain about his appearance (think a courtesan-type character). He also has one of the most gut-wrenching backstories of any character I’ve ever written, and is struggling with triggers from that backstory. His romance with my best friend’s character is also my favorite romance that I’ve written with her, and it came as a surprise to both of us, since we were just testing out the characters at the time.   

14. What does it take for you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?) 

I do a lot of brainstorming and outlining, though my outlines aren’t plot-related ones so much as very detailed character summaries. I’ve honestly been struggling with plot lately, but I’ve been doing better character work, so I’m winging it more now. While I usually have a general idea of how the story goes, the actual writing of it clarifies the details and makes changes to my plans. On the bright side, the results are less stilted than my old work, since they’re not chained to plot outlines, but stem from the characters more organically.  

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing?

I’ve started telling myself, “Fuck it, let it be messy, I’ll fix it later.” Letting go of perfectionism is hard for me, but doing so has been helping.   

19. How do you cope with writer’s block? 

Honestly, the best way to cope with writer’s block is to just try something and see if it sticks, or leave yourself a note and skip ahead in the story to something you want to write. However, as I mentioned in an earlier ask, I haven’t been able to do much writing lately. And that’s hard, because I feel guilty for not writing, and I know if I just do it, I’ll feel better. Which is a bad mindframe to be in, especially because this year has been awful. I’ve been telling other writers to be gentle on themselves, because it’s hard to be creative when you’re stressed, but I struggle to take my own advice. So right now, I’m trying to give myself permission not to write, and to instead focus on other things. Editing. Reading. Playing videogames. Baking. Doing house/yardwork. Something to still ticks things off of my to do list, but also things that I can look at and see, “Yes, you did get something done.” It’s not a perfect system, and it does fall into the productivity trap, but it’s what I’m trying. When the stress passes, maybe then I can dive back into writing.  

24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author? 

I think it was when I was applying for undergraduate college. I wrote in my application essay that I wanted to write stories that would show my readers that things can get better for them. I was writing as a hobby before then, but I think that’s when I decided that yeah, I wanted making stories to be a part of my future, and I wanted to write stories that I could publish someday. 

33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like? 

Mostly I end up rewriting the chapter or story in question. Draft one is for realizing and getting down the idea of the thing. Draft two is refining it to that thing and losing all of the flab that the story doesn’t need. Often I have another file on the side where I paste in what I’ve cut out, in case I change my mind and want to add it back in later, or in case I can use it in another project. I also save the original messy draft and do the cutting in a copied file. That way, I can reassure myself that the original still exists for me, and I can reread it when I’m feeling self-indulgent, but I’m also only giving the best version to my readers.  

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

-- Writing every day is a good idea, and does work well for the writing process, but it’s an unrealistic standard to hold yourself to, especially if you have a day job, kids, and other adult responsibilities. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t write every day. The guilt is just going to make you freeze up instead of returning to the work. Be gentle with your expectations for yourself.  

-- If you’re including triggering or sensitive subjects in your work, and are planning to share that work with others (and ESPECIALLY if you’re planning to profit from that work), you should be doing your research about those subjects, portraying them as accurately as possible, and asking yourself if your story really needs that content to work. It is also a good idea to employ sensitivity screeners for that content, especially if you’re writing from a place of privilege and/or don’t have personal experience with the issues that you’re depicting.

-- Once the work is out there, no one has the right to ban it. They can be critical of it, yes. But not ban it.  

-- Writers of privilege must include diversity within their work, even if they’re scared of getting their depictions of people from other genders, races, classes, religions, and so on wrong. And they will get it wrong. When that happens, just apologize and try to do better in the future. But staying in your lane is a bad idea, for three reasons: 1.) You should be striving to have empathy for others, and you can’t do that if you’re only writing about people who are similar to you. 2.) Writers of privilege have an easier time getting their work published, and so should be trying to push the market/publishing industry into a more diverse direction. And 3.) You should be showing readers of privilege that the world is a diverse one, rather than catering to their narrow worldview.

-- Getting defensive when someone is critical of your work is perfectly natural, but it’s also dumb. It’s so, so dumb. You have made a product, and no product made by human hands is perfect, and every writer has blind spots. So when someone is critical of your work, try to keep this in mind: this is not an attack on you. Let yourself feel the hurt in private, and eat lots of ice cream, and when you’re feeling better, look at the criticism and ask yourself: What led the reader to this conclusion? How can I fix it? What can I learn from this? This is assuming that the critic is working with you in good faith, by the way; sometimes they’re completely off of the mark, or are upset because you didn’t give them the story that they wanted. But if someone is going, “Hey, this is a little racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist/etc.,” sit up and listen. And for the love of god, don’t fight them over it. You’ll make yourself look like an ass. 

-- Don’t workshop your story too early. Try to get a full draft down before you submit something for consideration. For one thing, you’re still figuring out what your story actually is. For another, writing workshops, while useful, have a tendency to pull your work to the middle / make it more acceptable to a general audience. Sometimes this will soften and even kill your bravest writing. Instead, use writing workshops as an opportunity to find writers who understand the themes you’re aiming for and the subjects that you’re discussing. Their input will be what you need.  

-- With the current laws about copyright infringement, getting paid for your fanfic is a bad idea. If you want that to change, then fight to make the laws more lenient. As if it, you’re risking screwing over other fanfic writers by doing that. Does that suck? Yeah. But that’s also the reality we live in right now, and you’re not going to have a good time if a corporation like Disney slams you with lawsuits.

-- Genres like fantasy, science fiction, horror, romance/erotica, and murder mysteries are real literature. Saying they’re not has its roots in classism. 

-- There is no such thing as apolitical writing. 

-- Poets are underrated. Support them. Most of the time, they’re doing braver and more socially-important work than you are, and they’re doing it concisely, too.     

-- Your first draft is going to suck. This is a good thing. You learn a lot more from bad prose than from good prose, more often than not. 

-- Having your work rejected by publishers really is nothing personal. Sometimes it just wasn’t a good fit for them at that moment in time. If they’re interested in seeing more from you in the future, though, keep them on your list and send them something else during their next screening period. They don’t say that unless they mean it.         

[skyerana]

tagged by @ashipwreckcoast​ for a question thinger. I’m bored out of my skull and I like these questions so here you go. You should do it. Yes, you. Why? Because? I don’t have real reazons.

Putting this under a cut because its long and I don’t want to clog up your dash.\

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black, specifically Pilot G2 pens. But really? I like a good dark dark green. My dog ate my favorite pen and I haven’t been able to find one in that color since.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I’ve sort of done both. I love living in a city, with all the vibrancy and life that it entails. There’s public transit, arts and culture, so many kinds of food, interesting people and always something going on. But for the last few years, I’ve been wanting to get back to something like where I went to school, where I lived for 7 months on a lake and the next closest people (besides us 9) were 5 miles away (the road up to the field station was 2 miles by itself and we got snowed in and flooded in on more than one occasion). I miss being close to deep nature and the peace that comes from being alone.

So which do I prefer? I don’t really know. I’ve been living back in a city for the past eight years but I’m feeling like its time for a change. I don’t think I’ll leave cities forever though. I like people and diversity too much.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? For fun, I’d want to pick up leatherworking, blacksmithing, and/or woodworking. I’m currently not set up well to do any of them though. For practicality though, I’d want to learn general house maintenance.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Depends on the tea, but often yes. Coffee gets an obscene amount of hazelnut creamer because I hate coffee but I love caffeine.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? The Hobbit. My dad and step-dad both read it to me at different points of my childhood and my dad gave me his copy (The Hobbit or There and Back Again, 1977 Illustrated edition)

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. Baths are well and good if you have a big enough one (which I don’t) and you don’t stay in so long it gets cold (I don’t).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Upon reading this question, every single mythical creature that I’d ever read about immediately vanished from my memory. I’m going to have to come back to this one.

I came back to this one and I still don’t know. I like the idea of flying. But I don’t really want to be hunted out to extinction.

8. Paper or electronic books? I love paper books, but I read much better via ebook. I still haven’t read Gideon the Ninths because the pages are so soft I just sit and pet them instead of read.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? BOXERS! Or rather, boxer-briefs. I know this sounds weird but bear with me. For some reason, when I started transitioning, it did not occur to me to buy mens underwear. When I finally did, It Was Amazing. I looked great. I felt great. I finally understood why so many people had “fun” underwear that they liked. Before, I had like one or two that had patterns/stuff on them. Now? I’ve got Star Wars and Captain Marvel and Deadpool and mountains and mushrooms and one with boxers that makes me laugh because there’s boxers on boxers!! And I can wear them whenever the fuck I want! So I always have something fun on, even (especially) if other folks can’t see it. Switching to boxers was such a weirdly affirming thing for my gender and I love it.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? This is complicated. I like my legal name, sure, but its not me, not really. I did get the spelling updated on it legally when I was 16 so I could actually get my driver’s license. I haven’t had a chance to change my legal name since transitioning (between the election and COVID, I don’t know that I’d get through all of the legal rigmarole in time to vote in November), but I really like my chosen name and an altered version of my legal name will be my new middle name.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I’ve had so many over the years. I learn so much from people, but I had so many great mentors when I worked at the museum. Timshel stands out. If I can be half the mentor she is to someone, I’ll have put some real solid good into the world. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No. Not in the everyone knows you sense. That’s not my jam. I wouldn’t mind having fame more in the sense of within a tiny field, being well known and respected.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes... to the point where I’m seeing a sleep specialist in a month to sort it out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Very much so. But there’s so many different ways to be romantic.

15. Which element best represents you? I hate these questions. I see bits of myself in all of the elements. People often associate me with air or water though.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Distance wise, my family in California. I come from a bunch of very close knit families and so having folks on the other side of the country that I’m super close with is ihard.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? “Everyone. Being solitary by choice as opposed to demand is a big difference.” I’m just going to leave @ashipwreckcoast​‘s response here because it fits. I’m very lucky that I am still working in a (relatively) safe environment, but we’re all missing out on things like throwing a housewarming party for one of my closest friends/coworkers. Even though we see each other almost daily, we’re still missing out on a lot that we’d normally do. That’s even worse for folks I’m not seeing at all because of COVID.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I legit thought I was a wolf and would howl at the neighbors when mom packed me into the wagon to go do laundry at the laundromat. The neighbors, being good people, howled back.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? There have been a few times where I wasn’t sure what I was eating. One was at a wedding with 10 or 12 courses (I lost count) and some of them were foods I’d never seen before. I know jellyfish was on that list but there was a bunch of other stuff that I don’t know what it was. The few times I’ve been out of the country, I ate stuff I couldn’t identify (often due to language barriers). The seafood soup at the one place was just whatever they caught that day and it had a lot in it. I remember being disappointed in my fellow grad students when some of them turned it down. You don’t turn down food when you’re a guest unless you have a medical reason for doing so. But the thing is, none of these are strange, except by the US standards. So if that’s true, then the deep fried dragonfly should also be on this list. 

20. What are you most thankful for? Most? That’s so hard to quantify. If I really think about it, it’s things like having a loving partner and a home and food and the ability to pay my bills, I guess.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do not like capsaisin related spices but I love horseradish type spices. I do liked well spiced, but not necessarily spicy, foods.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? A few times. Sometimes at the museum (worked with some of them). Sometimes at special events, like attending lectures.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? Generally no. I do sometimes get the urge to write and reflect on stuff, so I’ll do that when the mood strikes.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? I’ve been trained to use pens for everything (I work in a chem lab). Pencils are fine, but you need the right kind for the satisfying scratchiness. I cannot abide scratchiness in my pens.

25. What is your star sign? Cancer. Why is this important?

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Not super soggy but not straight out of the box crunchy. Does that make sense?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I  want my legacy to be built on kindness and helping others. I know that’s cheesy and cliche, but I have so much privilege that I want to use to benefit others.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love reading. I’m on book 30 for the year. The last one I finished was Starsight by Brandon Sanderson, which is book 2 of 3 of the Skyward series and HE HASN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET!! I read Skyward and Starsight in four days total.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I often cook for them.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Only for certain things. I don’t mind drinking most drinks at room temperature and ice waters stuff down. It’s good for iced tea though, but only if you need to cool it.

31. What are you afraid of? This isn’t a fair question. I’m afraid of being abandoned or fucking things up. I’m also afraid of spiders and the milk in my fridge expiring. I’m afraid of filling out forms (forms are really hard and make me extremely anxious). I’m afraid of phone calls, but I’m good at them. I’m afraid of public speaking, but you’d never know it unless I told you. I’m afraid of losing the people I love, of dying without having put some good into the world. I’m afraid for my neighbors, for my brothers and sister, for my niece. The world is overwhelmingly scary right now.

32. What is your favourite scent? Campfires, the smell of a fresh spring rain, leather, the weird musky scent of my kitten, of garlic and onions cooking low and slow. There’s too many.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Depends on who and in what context I know them.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel a lot more. I’d donate to a lot of things. Museums, arts, individuals. I’d love to just go on to gofundme and just straight up fund folks to their goals plus a bit extra. And then go figure out where the systematic failures were that lead to them not being able to afford it in the first place.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Ocean. Absolutely. But this is also lake and river erasure.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? I guess exchange it for USD.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah. They’re magical every time.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? Be kind. To yourself and others.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I’ve got several I want. I was supposed to get an anchor with an octopus chilling on it on my inner forearm for my one year anniversary on testosterone but then COVID hit and well... who know when I‘ll get it.

40. What can you hear now? Mostly just the AC and the tack of the keys on the keyboard. Occasionally a particularly loud vehicle makes itself known.

41. Where do you feel the safest? Curled up with my partner and dog.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Probs my anxiety.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

44. What is your most used emoji? The crying laughing one. I survive on sending stupid memes and shit back and forth with too many people. After that, the heart.

45. Describe yourself using one word. Oof

46. What do you regret the most? Not trusting myself when I figured out I was trans back in undergrad. That whole decade of burying it all and internalizing a lot of transphobia really did a number on myself.

47. Last movie you saw? I think it was Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

48. Last tv show you watched? Rewatching Avatar with my partner right now. We just finished She-Ra.

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I just... I don’t know. I’m a Webster. I just compile what other people say in a book.