#also if i had a nickel for every time this week i posted something about jaheira getting wine-tipsy and opening up to someone

[blackjackkent]

Suggestion for your fic prompt request :)

Jaheira and Karlach - "stories around the campfire" - Karlach is full of questions about the old days, and Jaheira tells her a story she may not have expected.

TYSM for this prompt! This one made me smile a lot. (I really love writing both Jaheira and Karlach, so writing both of them bonding is, as Karlach would say, aces. :D ) I really hope you enjoy it!

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Comrades and Lost Children

Pairing: Jaheira & Karlach Characters: Jaheira, Karlach Rating: G Warnings: None Word Count: 2.3k Setting: Several hours after the death of Ketheric Thorm Summary: Jaheira and Karlach share memories during a late night after the fall of Moonrise Towers. other bg3 one-shots | send me fic requests!

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A shadow among shadows, the black panther pads through the twisted forest outside Moonrise.

The curse is already beginning to fade with Ketheric’s death. The land is hardly yet safe, but the silent creature can step without pain in the milder patches of darkness. And it seems joyous in that freedom; a low purr rumbles in its throat as it darts repeatedly from the path to climb a gnarled tree trunk or roll in a struggling patch of grass, scenting out the places where nature’s strength is starting to recover within the broken landscape.

It’s a short journey north to Last Light, but the panther’s meandering route takes it past the moonlight-bathed building. Instead, it makes for the small camp where Hector and his companions have been lodging since their arrival in the shadowlands. Unsurprisingly, given it is nearly two in the morning, the camp is still and silent; only a lone tiefling figure sits up keeping guard by the slowly dying fire.

So softly does the huge cat move that Karlach does not at first notice its approach. It is almost within the circle of firelight before she registers it - but when she does, she moves fast, leaping to her feet with a startled cry and bringing her sword to bear on the beast. “Holy shit--”

For a moment the two of them stare at each other, unmoving. Then the panther's body begins to shift, magical energy flowing off it like a surge of dark water. Jaheira's lithe form uncurls within the burst of power into a standing position from the hunch in which the wildshape left her. “Is there a problem, Karlach?” she says, looking calmly into the point of the sword drawn on her.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Karlach says. She slumps with relief and lets the weapon drop to her side; a nervous smile bursts onto her face at once as she recognizes the other woman. “You scared the piss out of me.” 

Read More on AO3

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 7

Prompts: Gen / Team Fics! (IIIIITS THE GRAND FINALEEEEEE)

lloyd garmadon makes kai smith cry on his birthday- Has been recc'ed a couple times but *I* just read it and now *I* have to rec it too! The brotherly dynamic between the two already has me by the throat, but then both of their perspectives on birthdays just really helps drive the point home!! So pleased to have this fic shown to me!

Aftermaths: Lloyd and Kai post-MotO and oof they both go through it emotionally

Visionary- A fic jam-PACKED with introspective and dynamics with the main six, consisting of Lloyd getting a glimpse of what the other's went through prior to becoming ninja (and other hardships), while the other five use their experiences to help Lloyd move forward with his own troubles. That's...literally the barest I can break this fic down into, but there's soooo many emotions and moments and perspective and AAAAAA

An Endless Light: Made ME weep, man. WEEP I SAY. An immortal Lloyd just loves his family, man. AND GODDD THE ENDINGGGGG

the L-word: FIVE TIMES THE NINJA TELL LLOYD THEY LOVE HIM (and the one time he says it back) THE FOUND FAMILY VIBES ARE STRONG WITH THIS ONE!!! PLATONIC USAGES OF I LOVE YOU *throws flowers petals* LET THE PEOPLE LOVE OUT LOUD!!

The Sun Rises Every Single Night: TIME TRAVEL FIC of Lloyd contending with holy crap how much things have CHANGED but also, despite everything, he is still himself. Kind of a character study, but all entertaining and wholesome ;w;

Time Marches On: A fic that is lamentably not finished, but the chapter that IS there is a wonderful reflection by Wu on how his students have changed (I like time-reflective fics, I suppose) punctuated with a heart-wrenching conversation with Lloyd, which is something I will always love to see~ (but pls if for nothing else the Wu+Lloyd convo is so GOOD *rolls around*)

Thank You, For Giving Me Wings: Or, Five Times the Ninja accidentally called Wu 'Dad' (and the one time one of them didn't on purpose). Oh look, another time-reflective piece about Wu and the Ninja, but this time by me! And could be finished if the Nya chapter didn't give me such a writer's block on how to phrase what I want to saaaay *wails* Anywaaaay, lot of Wu and lots of family emotions and lots of the ninja being vulnerable and soft in their "father's" presence ;w;)/

Some Burn Hot, Some Burn Cold: A story about Lloyd, Elemental Powers, and the effects both those things can have on the ninja's emotions. Everyone's got a role to play in this one, though the parts with Cole and Lloyd hit me the hardest, man. Also may or may not have been my inspiration for Elemental Outbursts ;P

All I Want For Christmas is You: If I had a nickel for every time I recc'ed a Christmas fic in the middle of July, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's (about to) happen twice (aka Lloyd experiences Christmas for the first time and attempts to hide that fact and the ninja simply love him very very very much in the process).

All I'm Asking For- And last but most certainly not least, my other very favorite Ninjago fic ever, the masterpiece that inspired me to get back into writing to begin with ;w;

Kind of a (Christmas-y) AU the diverts from MotO but doesn't necessarily contradict it either, my mere meager description just cannot do it the justice it deserves! Everyone gets some form of closure after all these years of fighting to just be okay, even if for a little while, all sprinkled with marvelous character moments and interactions and holiday shenanigans that are guaranteed to warm your heart at one point or another. A great pick me up to dive back into year round regardless (as I do)

(this fic is technically and obviously about everyone, but the way it starts and ends with Cole's perspective on his team............ *bursts into tears* something about it just feels so perfectly right in a way I still can't manage to explain. But know I hold this fic so very near and dear to my heart and you should too <3)

And that is it! Woot, didn't think I'd make it every day, but turns out I read a lot more than I think! Shoutout to @21st-century-ninja for putting this all together!!

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

Hello! question for you? do you have a favorite car lock/unlock chime?

Hello! Answer for you:

That's a very hard opinion for me to form because here cars don't have them, we just trust car owners to be able to tell that the car that made the clunking sound and indicators flash it does when it locks its doors locked its doors. Which is partly why this answer comes to you well over two weeks after your asked me, as I just didn't know what to do with it.

So I could answer that my favorite chime is around 6:38 in this video, which I recommend you don't skip to because the rest of the video is great too...

...but if that feels like cheating to you, well, I'm out of answers.

So I will just talk horns and chimes some more until you're satisfied.

My mother's Citroën had this seatbelt chime, which I found pretty endearing, but without the peculiarity herein described. (It should start at 11:41, just in case it doesn't for you.)

My father's Audi had this calm, soothing chime which perfectly suited its soothing comfort, yet always reminded me of something...

2000s Renaults had a talking vehicle computer!

And if that sounds like a very 80s thing, well, you're absolutely right!

Chrysler's Electronic Voice Alert, or EVA, was an option made available in the mid-80s that used the Texas Instruments' LPC Speech Chip you know and love from the Speak & Spell.

Unfortunately, while that was just a warnings list, many of those were spoken quite frequently, in part due to the vehicles in question being mid-80s Chrysler products, leading to the system swiftly getting on people's nerves, and in the models before a switch to turn it off was included owners resorted to pulling the fuse, which in some cases disabled the fuel gauge. Welp.

But that was not the only system nor first system of its kind: there was, in 1983, the MG Maestro's system.

If that voice sounds familiar, its voice actress Nicolette McKenzie had starred in John Sichel's Merchant Of Venice. If you're not from that side of Tumblr, she also starred in Horizon: Zero Dawn. A monotonous career path sure doesn't seem to be among her problems.

But this system was not the first either: some '81 to '84 Nissans (or Datsuns, as those were the very years that brand name, created for American shores, was getting phased out) used a Voice Warning system that used an even earlier technology than TI's chip (that's Texas Instrument's LPC speech synthesizing integrated circuits, not the money of trap music pioneer T.I.): a phonograph.

This wasn't a novel approach either, phonograph-based warning systems being used in late '70s-early '80s appliances and toys, and in-car record players having been a thing even prior!

In fact, to paraphrase Dr. Doofenshmirtz, If I had a nickel for every time I wrote about in-car phonographs, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

Although in 1985 Nissan too went electronic for their voice warning system - here's the warnings from those systems over a bad MIDI cover of Thrift Shop.

And that's without even getting into custom door chimes!

And boy will I ever get into custom chimes once I get to that section of my Miata Mod Master Mᴉsɥlᴉsʇ (that's "Wishlist" upside down), which by my estimations should be about April 2024. So keep your eyes peeled!

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[thistransient]

- If I had a nickel for every time I posted a photo of a goose and it ended up getting over a thousand notes, I'd have two nickels. I would say 'who can fathom the whims of the tumblr audience', because photos I love often go totally unappreciated in favour of something random I shared on a whim, but clearly there is a trend here. Also, the first time around I warned new followers the goose was a one-time phenomenon, and clearly I lied. There may well be future geese, just keep your expectations reasonably low.

- The other day I was talking to a Japanese friend about how jarring it is to overhear one's native language when living somewhere it isn't spoken often. Forced to eavesdrop because you can't not understand it! (Unlike the blissful white noise attained by zoning out around a language that requires some focus to understand.) Recently a loud American guy has started turning up with a companion at my local breakfast joint and inflicting this very situation upon me at high volume. I might not mind so much if I couldn't still hear him when they sit at the very back of the shop and I at the very front. To be fair, a) they come at the same time daily so it's within my power to simply go earlier and b) I'm sure I've tormented enough people with my own public English conversations (although I don't think anyone will ever accuse me of being loud, after a lifetime of complaints that I'm nigh inaudible). In a moment of pettiness, however, I decided to bring my loud Canadian friend today and sit in the back at their usual table. "I can see why you call him your nemesis" he commented, after witnessing [hearing] the state of things. I felt somewhat validated.

- Further brekkie shop gossip (what a fulfilling social life I have, you see): my slutty bisexual summer completely failed to manifest, but we can still have awkward bisexual autumn. Last week the cute guy who also eats there regularly and I ended up putting our trays away at the same time. He looked at me (probably on the simple basis that I was standing next to him). I glanced back and then quickly away. Outside the shop, he was organising his scooter when something possessed me to make direct eye contact. He gave me the nod, and something possessed me further to smile radiantly in response (albeit under the mask). He smiled back. I ran away.

- Because I agreed to model for a friend at a rope class this weekend, I have been faithfully abstaining from anything that could overly aggravate my ribs in their healing (although this also means I haven't been socialising much, hence the most interesting thing recently being the breakfast shop dynamics) and just going biking instead (safe enough so far). The blissful but brief window of perfect fall weather I waited for all summer has already started edging into "I could go outside and gambol about without getting too sweaty, buuut actually now I'm cold and would like to stay under the blanket." (Complain as I might, I actually do appreciate the return of boot & coat season. Or at least for myself, raised somewhere around the 43rd parallel north, since it's apparently always boot & coat season for locals.)

- I suppose the counselling I started has been having some effect, because I've begun to get some of my shit together (some, not all, but better than nothing). However, I think I will still have to do my December visa run (that ironic ticket to Macau). Because I haven't bought a return yet, I started to ruminate on the possibility of getting another Chinese visa (my previous one was invalidated when I updated the personal details on my new passport)- I could in theory take the ferry to Hong Kong and do it at the same agency where I got my first one, except that things have changed post-Covid and one must enquire personally about their rates and conditions. I may have enquired and am awaiting a response...

[princessslut6969]

I'm not gonna invite ppl already on that post to come crucify me, & it's a quote already, so.

.

[“A secret about lesbian sex that I don’t think I have ever seen written about before is that lesbians appreciate different things about the vulva and vagina than do straight men. If popular culture and the rise of vaginal tightening and rejuvenation procedures are any indication, straight men value a “tight” vagina. But this is incomprehensible to me as a dyke. If I only had a nickel for every time I have heard queer people brag about being size queens with capacious vaginas and/or anuses that welcome fists and giant dildos, I’d be a rich woman! In queer space, what makes an orifice “good” is not how it feels to the person going inside it (for whom it might make sense for the emphasis to be on tightness) but how the orifice feels about itself: what it wants, what it can do, what it can enjoy. For many humans, the capacity to take something very large into one’s body is extremely pleasurable, and this is much more difficult when one has been told that the goal is to keep all orifices small and tight. It is fine, of course, if size is not one’s thing, but the point here is that it makes queer people—like my comrades quoted above—quite sad that in straight culture, a vagina is evaluated according to its capacity to please men and not its capacity to experience pleasure.”]

-- Jane Ward, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality

.

...That... is also incomprehensible to me? I guess, marry a man who's written by a woman?

& despite anything else I write or reblog, Hunny is straight, deadset against anything anal for him, & super masculine. Picture bodybuilder-dadbod, absolutely covered in hair.

.

Just a few hours ago, we had basically non-penetrative sex. His idea, even. Both came sooo hard.

We finally had one of our only two nights a week together, so when I seemed restless...

"What's the matter?"

"I'm horny..."

I'm still on my period, so I still have my cup in. Well, he wasn't about to let that stop him. He wasn't even horny himself, yet, lol. He pulled me into spooning me & fingered me til I came. It didn't take much, but it also simply wasn't a wild one I had brewing. Ah, sated enough to sleep, & not enough energy to do anything else. Sleepy. 🥰

But he wasn't happy with how not-crazy my orgasm was. 😈 He had other suggestions.

"Nah... I am sleepy now... It's okay."

"Can I rub my dick on your clit?" 😈

😳 "YES."

He wasn't even hard yet so not like he was trying to deal with taking care of that. Just missed me. Just in missionary, just spit-wetted dick between labia, just the pressure between us. (And a couple of his other tricks. 😏) But, clinically, no ~vaginal penetration. I have no idea how many times I came even, since he just never stopped, til I literally had to push him away & ride out my own freak out, practically crying (good) & almost screaming (good). 🤤

I finished sucking him off - as he fingered me again. No mercy. 😫 Made me go so wild on him. Back thigh pulling, ball squeezing, back-of-throat, moaning -- He came sooo hard, & twice as long as usual.

.

So, no, I don't know what it's like, to ever have a guy even come close to ignoring my pleasure.

True, I've only had full-on sex with 2 other guys besides Hunny. Both also straight to the best of my knowledge. But 1 had an oral fixation. The other 1 was only a few times, but also wonderful.

.

Yeah, "tight" pressure feels good to them. That's not bad in & of itself? How the... That's like saying you shouldn't care about getting pressure on your clit. 🙄

There's still wetness to take into account even. And, speaking of "size queens" or whatever, anyone even- we like to feel filled! Girth is more important than length! We like the other side of that pressure, hello???

.

She's just complaining about her partners ignoring what feels good to her. That may be a very widespread, mainstream, common problem, but that's not *because* the guy is straight. 🙄 What decent guy doesn't care about the girl feeling good? That's a requirement.

And, maybe she doesn't know this from never getting this far, but ever see a guy's reaction to your vagina climaxing and orgasming all around his dick? 🤨

[cheese-water]

This is going to be chronological order OG only chronicle o tweets on Twitter or x or whatever the heck is up w/ that.

It is set in 1900s ish july. It mentions a ‘She’ im assuming is a therapist of some sort. The writer most likely is mentally ill or something and is told to write thoughts down to help. 

Bro has trauma wtf when did this happen?? Glances, phrases, remarks, notes. Do not understand situation is better shown than told probably some type of trauma honestly. Family and dog: you know they are already fucking dead though, come on you know ain’t no way they survive this. Will not forget bad things bad things probably life changing is worst way possible or something.

J maybe therapist?? Then bizarre dream tf is up with this kids mind tho-?? AND IT MEANS CYCLE?? like timeloop cycle, history repeating cycle, which we talking about??

Oh yeah shitty manager. I’ve been analyzing these and I’ve read that at least 20 times. 20 times of a fictional character complaining about their fictional boss tf is my life?

Spoopi dream and oh hey same hall and doors each time and the other dream meant cycle that’s just lovely!1!!1 

The XXXX might be Mary and Mary might be the actual expert/therapist person? It implies Mary is the one who suggested person to write(?)

“Why can’t I be in control of everything” DAMN WRITER OK RELATABLE K THATS FINE OK also please throw the vcr out the window especially if it’s more than a 1 story building, please.

Happy birthday :DD ayyy fucked ver of happy birthday that’s cooool and we trust J :] oh yeah shit work place for like the 5th time dear god

ok therory also summarize things:

Writer(which is going to be referred to as 0), most likely (knowing Ranboo) is traumatized, and is getting some form of therapy. His therapist (I HOPE IS) Mary suggested he should write his thought down to help. At first 0 hated it, but overtime it did help a lot. A friend J told 0 to write is absolutely obscure dreams down. 0 does as 0 trusts J quite a bit even lets J read the journal entries. J is into supernatural and “crazy” things (same) and tells 0 that 0(bro idk pronouns im sorry) is reliving things that 0 might have repressed or something possibly trauma. 0 works at a very bad place with a horrible manager. 2 more spooky dreams later and oh, 0 still complaining about job. Creepy birthday song and wow I’m done with thing more than a month long project. this was so long and a lot of stuff was very cut down omg I’m tired I’m going to sleep buh bye

-☁︎🪷

P.S hi started school uh yeah hope your doing well :]

We love J for actually listening to 0’s dreams. They’re a real one fr. That being said, knowing Ranboo, I’m fully expecting J to be the one who traumatized and/or killed 0’s family in the end. Another Hetch situation y’know? Really though, what friend would look at your dream journal and say, "Oh yeah, that’s prolly some repressed trauma for you," like? I’ve had my fair share of strange dreams, but my immediate thoughts don’t go to deep-rooted trauma (I wouldn’t know it’s literally repressed, I guess?).

*intermission for me to read the tweets since I found a good twit front end on github a few weeks back B)*

Oh… oh no. Here we go again. If I had a nickel for every time Ranboo created a character who had to write their thoughts in a journal to cope with their repressed traumas and memory issues, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. No, but really, this post solidified it for me:

The obvious is, "I dont think ill be forgetting those." Clearly, this is an important list of things to remember, and judging by the constant work reminders, Zero (I have to give them some sort of name) uses this journal as a way to help/cope with their forgetfulness and it’s been working so far.

What’s listed in the Good Things list is strange. Most notably the second one, "My dog." ???? My dog????? Who the hell in a supposedly personal journal doesn’t call their dog by their name? If it’s for the reader's sake, that doesn’t make sense either. It could’ve been a classic dog name (à la Spot, Rover, etc.) or, even better, have the name written after my dog: My dog Lola or My dog Winston. I may be overthinking this, but it’s such a strange detail to include with the introduction of Zero’s memory issues in the exact same post. Because all that implies is that Zero’s memory has already been degrading, with or without their knowledge.

Also, I'm not sure how or why we were even getting chronicle 0 in the first place. Is it like some sort of time paradox relating to Zero’s dreams? My best theory is that someone in 2023 (right now) found the journal and is literally chronicling/recording it online for others. This would explain the redacted words in the tweets, since they wouldn’t be if they were posted by Zero's thoughts themselves. And it gives new meaning to the random "?" posts. Maybe the page scanner couldn’t translate what was written down? Or was there nothing written there at all?

All I’m sure of is that whatever was on those "?" pages, those are the pages Jay has been writing on. Which quick aside, WTF JAY!? Why the hell are you writing in someone else’s therapy journal when you know they have memory problems? Who do you think Zero will assume wrote that down? Their nameless dog? NO ZERO MUST OF CAUSE ITS THEIRS. I don’t care if Zero trusts you because you're their childhood best friend or partner or whatever, but to me, you’re extremely misguided at best and suspicious and manipulative at worst. Anyway, assuming the "?" pages are Jay's, either their handwriting is less legible than Zero’s (or at least visually distinct enough that whoever’s tweeting these out can tell the difference from other pages or entries), or they’re some sort of drawing. Of what I’m not sure.

But back to the why: Someone found Zero’s journal and began posting pages of it because either they find it fascinating and unnerving (the reasonable solution) or (the flimsier, weirder solution) the account is the beginnings of an autobiographical journal-book about Zero if they actually did or experienced something notable in their future (for example, the style of Anne Frank’s journals). Imagine Showfall, or *insert Gen 0 capitalistic conglomerate here* publishing "The Story of Chronicle 0: How The Founder Found Their Way." It would be if Disney got ahold of Walt’s childhood diaries and sold them as a collector’s item. It’s so strange and wrong to do, but we all know it’d make bank. Plus, it feeds into the intrusive/changing perception theme from Gen 1 if Ranboo wants to continue that thread. Once again, grain of salt, spitballing, yadda yadda, this is getting interesting, and I haven’t even touched the dreams yet lmao.

[sephirothmon]

i see a correlation between the backrooms and its fandomization to how it was with creepypastas. the backrooms started with a 4chan post, which introduced a scary concept of an out-of-bounds liminal space dimension. then kane pixel's video series on it takes the concept and expands upon it, using the concept of it but making it its own separate thing. same thing happened with slenderman. it started as an image post about a creepy figure captured in photos of children at a playground. then marble hornets was made, and used the concept of the character but made an entirely new and unique story with him, making it a separate creation from the original slenderman post but still incorporating the character.

then the same thing happens to both: the fandomization makes them less scary. i will admit first that i'm very biased into liking the creepypasta fandom bc i grew up really liking it. but anyways, fandomization of slenderman and other creepypastas, taking them from their sources, and making them into silly cartoon antic characters took away from the scare factor a lot of them had. this is why, understandably, many people who were a part of the original slenderman post hated when he got popular. because people were making memes of him, making silly art, drawing him in a big mansion with other creepypastas acting like a family (or other interpretation of slender mansion), etc. it was upsetting to see this mysterious creepy entity being turned into.. for lack of better terms: a meme, tumblr sexyman, and funny guy.

same thing happened (or is still happening?) to the backrooms. i will also be clear i was not into the fandom of it and know very little of this, i only know of the original post and the kane pixel series and the roblox game. as it got more popular, people in the fandom and on fan wikis added more and more layers and characters to the backrooms. it made it less 'creative' in the way where many ideas were based on something already existing and not wholly original. and since it was many people contributing, the ideas didnt mesh together. the cohesion of a single person or small team working on a project wasnt there. people also add in things that make it akin to scp's, but from what i've seen its almost never as scary or intriguing as actual scps (who have moderators comb through submissions to post). basically, because of many different people wanting to add many different things, and a lot of those things lacking intrigue, scariness, or original horror/otherworldliness, it made the 'backrooms world' very watered down very quickly. many people are upset because of this; something so scary in concept, that also got even more popular because of an indie video series around the concept, got way too popular, and the fans and resulting fandom watered it down, took away what made it scary, and turned it into 'everybodys playground'.

im not making this to say either of these fans or fandoms are bad, theyre not. but if i had a nickel for every time i saw this happen, i'd have two, which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice. i guess what i'm getting at is that i saw history repeating itself in real time. although the backrooms fandomization happened so much faster than the creepypasta one, im assuming because of how media consumption has changed in the past 5 or so years (memes last weeks instead of years etc etc). i dont have a way to solve it, and i dont really think something like this can BE solved. its just something i noticed and i wanted to talk about it.

[sangoqueenkoko]

I posted 430 times in 2022

35 posts created (8%)

395 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@poweredbyghostadventures

@spongebobssquarepants

@house-ad

@simpliao

@yae-publishing-house

I tagged 408 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#genshin impact - 60 posts

#bee spin saturday - 51 posts

#friday - 50 posts

#artsypeachy - 42 posts

#ninjago - 33 posts

#rat so fantastic - 27 posts

#i'm aware it's sunday. fat fuck friday is a feeling - 26 posts

#fat fuck friday - 26 posts

#genshin x reader - 23 posts

#genshin headcanons - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#if i had a nickel for every time i had a white icey autistic boy as a favorite character before i knew i was autistic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

CYNO

please be careful next time

Fluff

MASTERLIST

requested by @endling411 @koaluna on discord

.

Summary: Cyno gets hurt while in a fight. You take responsibility of taking care of him.

Warnings? SMALL detail of injuries! Mentions of blood! NO MENTION OF DEATH. UNDER THE CUT‼️

Also I sorta made up my own mini-quest-like-thing, so don’t quote me on anything. Only so the story could move on.

Includes Traveler, Paimon, and of course Cyno!

“Your sins weight upon you- AGH!” Cyno began but was soon knocked back with a few bruises already appearing. He had used all his stamina and extra strength to finish off whatever was left of his enemy. Once the enemies were defeated, he sat on the sand, boiling in the desert heat even though he should be used to it by now. He looked over to his thigh and up to his upper arm; cuts more severe than the others.

He soon walked back to Aaru Village once he had enough energy. He heard quiet gasps and whispers as he walked through, not batting an eyelid to anyone by him, they didn’t even bother to rush forward to help him.

But someone did when he got back to his shared house in the village.

With you.

And that person who noticed, was you.

You were cleaning up when he walked through, yet you didn’t look over to him, “Hey Cyno” you said before turning, “how was- oh my archons!” You put everything in your hands down before rushing over to help him sit down, “what happened?”

He sighed as you helped him take his headdress off, “there were more eremites than I thought. They bought more backup and I found them all alone. I thought I could take them but I… I couldn’t” he sounded deflated, which was definitely something unseen from him, same time you quickly gathered some first aid, “I thought I could do it.”

“Well you did” you said honestly, soon sitting down in front of him with a bowl of warm water and a towel to clean his wounds, “you defended yourself and whoever else was around.”

He sighed.

The first part you cleaned was his thigh, and boy was he not impressed. The second the warm damp towel lightly touched the area, he hissed.

“It can’t be that bad” you said.

“You try fighting on the hot sand every day!”

“Surely not every day.”

He went silent after that.

…

he didn’t even crack a joke. weird.

…

“I’m sorry you have to do this” he mumbled eventually after a little while of silence.

See the full post

40 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

DILUC

another day at the Mondstadt

Some Fluff

MASTERLIST

.

Summary: You’re new to Mondstadt, upon looking around, you soon find yourself in the Angels Share, where you meet a fiery headed bartender.

Warnings? Nope!

Includes Kaeya, Rosaria, Venti, and of course Diluc!

There are many things in Teyvat that Diluc doesn't want you near; monsters, unfamiliar strangers, and well... Kaeya. Sometimes. Especially when he's been drinking. Oh, and that Bard too. When he's been drinking too, he reeks of wine.

This reason is because years ago, in the first week when you first came to Mondstadt, you came to the Angels Share to try out the local alcohol, as well as the infamous dandelion wine.

After soon finding out about not being a fan of the stuff, you just asked for grape juice. To which the bartender happily complied.

He introduced himself as Diluc. Diluc of Mondstadt. Who is not interested in idle chitchat, so you’ve heard.

From seeing him from afar, you've gathered that he's a rather quiet, kept-to-himself person. He goes out of Mondstadt a lot too.

Especially in evenings, that you've noticed.

You would both see each other around the city, a little often.

Then it grows more and more.

You both talk more.

Get a long more and learn about each other more.

He never mentioned Kaeya, and that was Okay with you. You didn't want to pressure or upset him by any means.

See the full post

41 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#3

SCARAMOUCHE

Aka, The Wanderer

monster

Angst

MASTERLIST

.

Summary: Scaramouche has never seen such power. Never mind in you. Even he never wanted this much power.

Warnings? Angst. Mentions of death. Dottore my husband appearance. Detail of surgical injury. Mention of major character death.

Includes The Doctor, aka Zandik, and Scaramouche/Wander of course!

Also Wanderer talent spoilers‼️‼️

reader has a fighting style like Ei

What has he done?! Is all that went through Scaramouches wild mind. HOW COULD HE?!

No one has seen him as angry as this.

Not even you.

Even if you were unconscious on the surgical table in front of him.

“Ah yes, The Balladeer, or, should I say The Wanderer?” he heard a chuckle come from behind him. He spun around to see a familiar person. Zandik. Also known as The Doctor, “hope you don’t mind me using your little friend as the subject of my experiments. They are… quite the forte.”

“The Doctor. What kind of experiments?!” Scaramouche yelled back at him, he glanced to the side of him only to see no change of your current position.

He had noticed some scars along your arms and torso that seem to be fresh.

“Nothing much apart from some modifications. Only to make them seem better, yes?” He laughed with his devilishly pointy teeth, walking close to Scaramouche and the table with you laying still atop it, “make them more of a… weapon. Something that has no mercy and that can cut through just about anything.”

A weapon? What form of weapon?

See the full post

49 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#2

ALBEDO

can i rely on you to stop me?

ANGST, also slight comfort at the end :3

MASTERLIST

.

Summary: my own twist on Albedos part from the 2.3 trailer.

Warnings? A N G S T!

Contains Sus-bedo, a mention of Klee and Sucrose, and Albedo of course!

Was originally written before the release of 2.3!

This idea really reminded me of this TikTok)

Finished writing this on the tram home from college lmao

Klee stood behind your legs, shaking, peaking around you to look at Albedo. Well… who claims to be Albedo.

No one has ever seen her as scared as she currently was. With tears in her eyes she looked around the lab was now a mess as things had been tipped over and thrown around.

Albedo was in the centre. On his knees. Clearly in distress as he couldn't find his alchemy notes.

Even though he told you to please take care once the problem arose…

But that wasn’t all…

He looked up to you and Klee, you both noticed the definite change in his eyes. You knew it wasn't him. Klee knew it wasn't him. You knew that he knew better to keep things tidy, as he already had trouble finding things anyway.

The calm and quiet person that you knew was now the exact opposite.

Then you noticed the reason.

The star on his neck was gone.

See the full post

74 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

TIGHNARI

my favourite art subject

Fluff

MASTERLIST

.

Summary: you have been working on something while away from home. And you can’t wait to show Tighnari!

Warnings? Nope!

Includes Collei and of course Tighnari!

I’ve been studying art for nearly 8 years so how could I not?

They call you the Leonardo Da Vinci of Teyvat. Someone who can create literal masterpieces. Be it of people, buildings or landscapes, you can do it in your own unique style. Your pieces of work are in all corners of Teyvat, from the deserts of Sumeru to as far as the Kamisato Estate in Inazuma, owned by the Kamisato siblings. All so valuable.

One of, if not thee, favourite subject of yours was your lover, one of the leading Forest Rangers. Or better known as Tighnari.

He LOVED your work with how you process your different methods and techniques. One of his favourites is still an ongoing project, it was a very detailed painting of Gandharva Ville. But for now, it stood on the easel in your shared living room as you were away on a commission in Inazuma. But seeing as you went after the Vision Hunt Decree was over, he had no worries about you being able to come home. But he was for some reason. Maybe because it was the first time you had been over seas in a while without him or his protection, as he has always been protective over you.

At the start and end of every day of your absence, he would see the painting, catch himself stare at it for a while, making him late for whatever he had to do, longing for it’s completion. Whilst on patrol, he can only think about what you’re doing and if you’re Okay.

Which you are.

You both sent letters to each other a lot when you’re in your travels, sometimes Tighnari would ‘accidentally’ write so much the letter would be at least a few pages thick, which you happily read it all and replied to every single question he asked, making your letter in response quite thick too.

“Master?” He heard a familiar muffled voice as he looked far into the distance beyond East of The Chasm, but payed no attention, “Master Tighnari!” He shook his head at the voice and a hand waving in front of his face.

“Oh. Collei” he cleared his throat as he stood up with a light sigh, making sure to dust off his tail, “ready to go?”

“Yep! I have my med pack, some extra supplies, my floral ring and my trusty Cuilein-Anbar!” She smiled as she quickly rummaged around her pack to quickly see if she’s forgotten anything.

“But we’re only going on patrol, we don’t need so much stuff” he put a hand on his hip.

“But as you say when someone’s hurt in battle, ‘safety first!’” He said in her best Tighnari impression that he could only chuckle over.

“Yeah… that’s true.” His ear twitched.

See the full post

87 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

MF NO WAY

[boringbodywithacrazymind]

October 2022

I've been avoiding writing this post....but considering I need to get it off my chest and really document my pain instead of compartmentalizing all the time here we go.

I told my friends/co-workers I hate my birthday. I really hate the end of the year because the start of September until the end of the year gets really stressful, then a small break until it's time for taxes.

Anyway, my peers were like "oh no girl we want to know when your birthday is and don't say that you hate your birthday" or "why". I hate my birthday because something bad or super stressful happens around this time. And like I always call it, end of September to the first week of October; October 1st to the 5th to be exact, my children had the stomach flu. Symptoms included fevers, diarrhea, vomiting, and fatigue. I was washing soiled underwear, administered medication, and monitored symptoms constantly. Then once the kids got better I went down with the stomach flu. Oh my gosh did I feel so sick, but I refused vomit so I drank Zofran, fever/pain reducer, and whatever to help ease the symptoms. The girls were able to go to school first, but while I still recovered I had to make sure everything was disinfected and sheets were all washed....all while I still felt gross and fatigued.

Same day, that Wednesday, I kicked my husband out the house because I was so stressed and tired of constantly seeking his attention and love. I was so tired and angry about him messaging another girl and so on and so forth. Always the same argument every time. I was just so over it.

So I finally went back to work and they girls continued life like usual, but the girls began to really act up and become more emotional and I knew it was because their dad wasn't home. They would want to FaceTime him and ask him when he would come home or ask if he could lay down or sleep with them. It absolutely broke my heart. It was a good time for me to really reflect myself and everything and my support group was all there for me. I got the divorce paperwork and maybe some time soon I can fill those out and file it.

Fast forward to 10/14/22, you can refer to my earlier post of how I found out I was pregnant. I had told my husband about the baby on my birthday 10/15 and he wasn't the happiest. If anything he was super disappointment and frustrated to say the least. He also mentioned how he doesn't like me being pregnant and that he prefers making love me while not being pregnant and "big"; long story short. I stayed quiet cause I somewhat felt the same in the timing of the baby. But overall I was really excited and happy to know we have another baby on the way.

We decided to have husband come home because of the baby and the girls missed him a lot. This requires a lot of patience on both parts. As we started to get accustomed to our usual ways, I went to work and got the girls to school like any regular day right? 10/18/22 I started to feel slight cramping/pressure and a bloody discharge the size of a dime or nickel. I asked my nurse practitioner if it is something to worry about and literally everyone told me to head to the ER.

I was scared and to be honest I already told my husband, cause I felt it, that the baby wasn't going to stay. I told him this on my birthday. Maybe baby knew, baby somehow knew, he or she wasn't wanted and so he or she left.....since we weren't ready. God knew and knows. He can bless and take away a blessing whenever he feels fit to do so.

Before I head to the ER, Lodi Memorial Hospital, where I received treatment and gave birth to my Analisa and Caria Lovely, I picked up my niece Angelica to accompany me for moral support. 3 minutes from the hospital, we were rear ended by a man. A man who apparently had no driver's license, no insurance, and the vehicle was not his under the pretenses that he "honestly didn't see me because he was changing the music on his phone".

Part 2....

[babybluebanshee]

Bride of Things I’ve Had to Deal with as a City Librarian

So it’s been a hot minute since I’ve done one of these. Let’s have some more stories of people being baffling at the public library.

- One of our least favorite patrons to deal with is a woman I’ll refer to as Lee. If you remember the story from a few posts ago about a lady who hated libraries and thought ours should burn to the ground, that’s this lady. Well, recently, Lee has discovered that the library is good for exactly one thing, and that’s sending faxes. She sends faxes there all the time. On average, she’ll be there to fax something at least once a week. The problem is that Lee has the most stank-ass attitude of anyone I’ve ever dealt with (if you couldn’t guess that from her enlightened opinion of libraries). If things aren’t done exactly the way she wants them, or thinks they should be done, she’s throwing a hissy tantrum in that horrible Karen voice. A business turns off its fax machine at five when they close, and she’s mad that she can’t send her stuff at 8:30 in the evening, because her stuff is due the next day. Don’t bother asking why she waited till the last minute to send it. It’ll still be your fault. She’s also the reason we had to enact a rule that the person sending a fax had to stay until the fax was confirmed to have gone through, because she’d frequently send huge faxes, insist she had to leave, promise she’d be back later to pay, and then just...not. She’s an enormous pain in the ass and we all dread the minute we see her enter the building.

- Donna and I were working an evening shift together and a woman came in with her boyfriend. While the boyfriend was on the computer, the woman came up to the computer, looked Donna square in the eye and said, “I want porn.” Donna immediately burst out laughing because what the hell else reaction was she supposed to have? We tried to suggest a few things to her, and when I mentioned we had a large paperback romance section, she made a disgusted face and was like “I don’t want those Harlequin romances!” Like...lady, you’re asking us for porn, you don’t get to be all high-brow.

- We’ve had a Dungeons and Dragons group meeting in the library since summer of last year, made up primarily of preteens. The DM is a local lady, and she’s not exactly great at being the adult in the room. Once, she left without telling us, and left the kids in the meeting room by themselves, where one of them proceeded to climb into one of the cabinets and break a shelf. She’s ghosted them twice, just...not showing up and not giving them or us any way to contact her. Travis has threatened a few times to not allow them to come back unless they straighten up, and since the cabinet incident, we haven’t had anything too bad. Most of us are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

- A dude who drives around in a car literally covered in religious bumper stickers has been coming in and leaving Chick tracts in the books. If you’re not familiar with Chick tracts, they’re religious comics that are infamous for their homophobic, Islamaphobic, antisemitic, and all-around batshit insane content. Whenever I see this dude come in, I know I’m about to go on a scavenger hunt, because he leaves them in tons of books over the course of a few hours. The most I’ve found in one day is 47.

- If I had a nickel for every time there’s been some kind of brouhaha with a snake at work, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it’s happened twice: + A woman came in with a python draped over her shoulders, used the computer for about twenty minutes, then left. I wasn’t there for this and am forever mad about it. + Sherri was shelving DVDs and almost stepped on a very tiny baby racer snake that had managed to find his way inside. She trapped him under a trash can and told Travis about it, and he went to call animal control (we have to so they can check for infestations, or any other places pests might be getting in). The city maintenance man, Rod, was there that day, and decided to be a big manly man for whatever reason, lifted the trash can, and grabbed the poor snake baby to throw him outside. The snake bit him. I was also not there for this and am forever mad about that too.

- A dude came in with a lit cigarette in his mouth, and didn’t even seem to realize it until the ash had fallen right on the front desk. He thankfully put it out after that, apologizing profusely. The minute he was gone, I absolutely bombarded the desk with air freshener because the smell was making me ill.

- A little boy and his mother were hanging out at the library while the dad was getting a covid shot. The little boy wanted to get a shot too, but his mother told him he was only four. He couldn’t get the shot yet. The little boy asked why his dad needed a shot, and his mom explained they were to prevent sickness. The kid’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates and he exclaimed “I’m a sickness!” at the top of his lungs. His mother looked mortified, and told him he most certainly was not, but he just stamped his tiny foot and said, “Yes, I am!”

- We’ll occasionally have local authors visit and do book signings and readings, usually on Saturday. This is a pain because neither the director nor the assistant director are there on Saturday. One Saturday, we had a children’s book author visit. This woman had already been a huge asshole to us in the time we’d been setting it up, so we were prepared for disaster already. Her books were about her Scottie dog, so, of course, she brought the dog with her. The catch was that it was not to be let off its leash. Guess what she ended up doing. I happened to look down at one point, and there’s a Scottie just chilling at my feet by the front desk. I shooed it away, and fortunately her grandson came and got the dog. Then, less than ten minutes later, the kid came out again. This time with a kleenex. I knew exactly what that meant. I tried to ask him if that was what I thought it was for. He didn’t answer me. The only reason I knew the dog had, indeed, shit on the floor, was because another patron saw the grandson picking it up. When the woman and her grandson left, neither of them said anything about it. They didn’t even look us in the eye. They just said bye and left.

- A mother and daughter came in to renew their library cards after letting them expire for several years. They both openly admitted they weren’t big readers (the daughter for ADHD reasons, the mother just didn’t like it), but both were trying to get into it because it seemed like a good way to spend their time. They described the kinds of things they enjoyed, so I spent a solid half hour taking them around the library, showing them things they might enjoy. It was actually pretty fun, until the daughter, apropos of nothing, asked me if I ever read the prologues of books. I said yes, because, ya know, that’s part of the story. The mother didn’t even know what a prologue was. Then the daughter admitted that, when she was still reading regularly, she’d never read the prologue of any book she read. I just stood there for a split second, absolutely dumbfounded.

- A very nervous teenage girl came up to the desk while I was cleaning, and stammered out, “Hey, I don’t wanna seem weird, but I just wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful and I think you’re really cool and wanted you to know that.” Then she quietly scampered away. It made me feel great for the rest of the evening. Figured I would end on a cute one.

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

WIP Wednesday Thursday

Title: Extraordinary

Pairings: HotchReid (side pairings Morcia, WillxJJ, others in flirtation)

Summary: League of Extraordinary Gentleman/Vampire AU;

Within the FBI there is a specialized team full of an elite selection of people. Unique individuals with very particular skill sets. And their job is to take the unusual cases: the ones that need to not only be solved, but are undetermined if the unsub is human, or something else entirely.

In a world filled with Vampires, non-human creatures, and subspecies unknown, there is only enough information to have them vaguely regulated. Rules that are so easily, and violently broken, all while hidden in plain sight among the unsuspecting public. Unrivaled for eons.

That’s where the BAU comes in.

Official Posting Date: Now posted on tumblr and Ao3, Click Here

Links: (Masterpost) (Snippet 01) (Snippet 02) (Snippet 03) (Snippet 04)

(TW/CW: This is pretty tame, Emily is just a little intense and eager because Spencer is... well, Spencer, and when she realizes all he can do? Oh she is chomping at the bit. Some trance-like things and witchy stuff and Hotch being territorial without being able to admit it.)

(the story so far/what you need to know for this clip at least: this takes place in chapter 02, what you will all see on Saturday evening, and this version is insanely unpolished (I’m about to go through and fix it up and give it a good make-over) but basically this is the first time Spencer is meeting Emily Prentiss and it makes... an impression. Also, Emily has been at the BAU for about 0.2 seconds and Hotch is already done with her. The sibling energy I love to see. It’s also hella long, as an apology for missing last week and being a day late. All you’ve missed is Spencer about ran into Emily turning a corner and she saved him from spilling his case files and coffee all over the floor. Now they are talking)

–

.

“I apologize, I thought you were an intern or still in the academy.”

“It’s alright, everyone does,” Spencer says without taking offense. He wouldn’t have gotten where he was or lasted very long if he did; however, if he had a nickel for every time someone had been surprised by his age, he’d be as rich as Father Rossi. His full hands actually aids him as he mentions, “I don’t usually shake hands with people, so don’t think me rude. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” He offers her a smile in exchange, and it is mirrored on her face just as her surprise kicks up another notch. 

“Doctor, my my I am in for a trip on this team, aren’t I?” she laughs, and it’s a melodic thing that stretches over an expanse of time and history. Ballrooms in Russia and palors of France, Elizabethan and the roaring 20’s and everything in between all rolled into one. He’s not sure how he sees it, an impossible thing, but he can read it like a book and that must have something to do with what she is. “Emily Prentiss, it is a remarkable pleasure to meet you Dr. Reid. Now, I have to ask--” her tone is so charming and playful and probing he barely notices the nuance, “And I’m sure it’s taboo around here, but I have to know -- your regeneration process. Tell me what it is or what you do. You look so young.”

“I am young,” he states simply, finally stunned by a question he’s not usually asked. 

“Yes, yes, we all can’t be a thousand years old like your fearless Vampire leader,” she waves off and Spencer’s eyes widen because… he hadn’t known Hotch was that old. Sure he’d said he’d been alive for the better part of a millennia, but he always said it like a hyperbole. A turn of phrase that’s off by a couple centuries. But --

 A thousand years old. 

That would put him… 

God, that would put him alive, as a human, just before the start of The Crusades. 

“Oh, did he keep that to himself? Oops, my bad. Pretend you don’t know. Anyway -- so are you a Shifter? Or use a particular spell? Oh, or is it a curse? I’m fascinated by curses, I don’t use them often myself but the rigidity of terms using a power so chaotic is just such a fun juxtaposition that I--”

“No, no, I’m… normal, human,” Spencer interrupts her, still the smallest bit shell-shocked, but now connects a few dots himself as she speaks. Realizes very suddenly that Ms. Prentiss appears ageless because she is ageless. She’s also a Witch. One of the broadest terms for subspecies categories, which really doesn’t do it justice. A Witch could be a number of things. Someone who uses magic and science and the very Earth itself paired with the spiritual planes to do impossible things. Witches are beings so powerful they should be uncategorizable. Something Spencer is fascinated by as well. He’s never met anyone like Emily. “I look young because I am young. I’m 27, I’ve only been with the BAU for the past three years. I’m a little excited to not be the newbie on the team any more,” he tries to joke, but Emily’s gaze has gone distant and sharp all at once.

“You’re only 27? And you’re a doctor?” She asks in clarification, Spencer nodding along each time. “You’ve been a doctor, since becoming an FBI agent?” 

“Um, well -- I’m not a medical doctor. I do have three doctorates, though; in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering,” he finds himself shrinking a bit under her intensely interested gaze. “What?”

“Chemistry?” she asks, vaguely more distant.

“That was my first doctorate,” he murmurs back, not sure what has her looking so contemplative. 

“You’ve achieved all of this: three doctorates, FBI agent, BAU -- in 27 years?” she questions, a grave yet wondrous sound.

“Technically I did all of that in 15 years. I graduated high school when I was 12,” he manages to do more than mumble, and Emily’s wide-eyed stare has him spewing forth information like it requires an explanation. “I have an eidetic memory, and I can read 20,000 words a minute, and my IQ is 187 so by human standards yes -- I’m a genius, and borderline on the advanced brain developments scale. But I’m still human. Nothing paranormal or extraordinary.”

The pause that follows is palpable.

“Oh,” she says in an exhale, “Oh, you young soul. You have no idea, do you? What you are capable of...” She tilts her head as she steps closer and Spencer is very suddenly aware that he’s not sure she’s blinked since they started speaking about his qualifications. What he can do, how he got to where he is. No one usually shows this much interest, he makes them uncomfortable for reasons he doesn’t always understand. 

Emily doesn’t look uncomfortable, she looks… hungry. 

“You are so very, very extraordinary. Exceptional, really. Look at all of what you’ve accomplished with just 15 years of life.” That astonished sound again, like she can’t believe her luck--

And then she’s in his space, gaze boring into his, and Spencer can see galaxies in the depth of her eyes. His breath stolen from him and feet rooted to the floor. So he doesn’t step away as she leans just the smallest bit closer, words resonating with echoes across ages.

“Imagine what you could do with a thousand.” 

“Prentiss,” the deep voice of Hotch’s monotone (edged in something vaguely aggressive, and more than a little aggravated)  breaks through their moment. The trance fading like a fog from Spencer’s eyes. “No recruiting. It’s in your contract.”

“You have such a gift, it’s a shame to waste it,” Emily whispers in a rush as Hotch approaches them from down the hall. More earnest than intimidating, now.

“Prentiss!” 

“Think about it,” she winks, and then turns to give Hotch a smile that’s all teeth so sharp she resembles a shark. “Oh, what a sour face. What’s wrong? Were you planning on asking him first? You snooze, you lose.” 

“Conference room,” he instructs, pointing the way Spencer had just come. “Team meeting in 20 minutes. Try not to summon anything between here and there.” She sticks her tongue out at him childishly as she leaves, and sends a quirk of a smile Spencer’s direction that shifts her whole expression into something comically entertained. He’s never seen Hotch interact with someone like this, like they were… familiar, even exasperatingly so. The closest in comparison is probably Father Rossi. But this is less like old friends and more like sibling rivalry. 

The space Emily had just vacated is suddenly filled with Hotch, an overwhelmingly welcomed presence and it eases the tension out of Spencer’s spine and shoulders that he hadn’t even realized was there. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, low and quiet. They’re the only ones in the hallway, but secrecy is a hard habit to break.

Spencer nods, still gaining his bearings once more. “I think so. That didn’t feel like hypnotism. I don’t know what that was.” 

“Prentiss doesn’t manipulate minds or the wills of other people,” Hotch tells him, which is soothing if not for the foreboding question of what just occurred. “She doesn’t need to. She can do a lot of things: change her face, her voice, make illusions and talk circles around anyone -- even you.” Spencer looks up to him at that, aware that his level of intelligence is the only thing that keeps him safe from JJ or Hotch’s influence. His mind can’t be bent, or tricked.

“Then what was she doing? I felt compelled but… not against my will. What was that?” he asks, also quiet but much more high in pitch as his confusion turns his voice to a winded sound.

Hotch’s thin, stern frown does nothing to alleviate the apprehension caught up in his chest like a bad cold. 

.

“Possibility,” he states, grim and not liking that Spencer had fallen prey to such a short moment with Emily Prentiss and her promise of what her craft could do for him. Hotch is well aware that Spencer’s gift of soaking up every speck on information he’s given like a sponge isn’t something to let wither and die like so many before him. There’s so much he could do with an infinite life, such as his and Emily’s, but the curse of living forever alone is not something to be taken lightly. And not to be decided by someone who still has so much more life to live unaided by other forces.

However, Emily was right about one thing. Hotch can’t deny that he’s thought about it. More than considered it as a definite possibility. 

An offer, all his own.

–

Tagged list so far: @physics-magic​, @thaddeusly, @ssa-noa, @ssa-sarahsunshine, @tobias-hankel, @reidology, @mintphoenix

[sintreaties]

Kirari gets motion sickness in helicopters.

I almost didn't take this prompt. I'm not really comfortable with v*mit and such but I did say I wanted something challenging. I managed to cheat myself into not making myself nauseous while I wrote <3

CW for v*mit and emetophobia of course.

It happened far too often. It just happened. Even when they visited Paris, and Hong Kong, and Dubai. The other week, on their way to school like now.

“It’s going to be great,” croaked Ririka.

Sitting in the back of the black AugustaWesthand AW119 Ke Koala, her voice came back to her in a mumble of static through the voluminous headphones. The blades cut the air overhead as she rested her hand on her sister’s wrist. Ririka wasn’t surprised to feel the tension in the nonchalance of Kirari’s hands, resting in her lap.

“She’ll be happy to see you. I bet she will cry too. She’ll cry a bit… She might also cry a lot.”

Kirari stared right in front of her. Stubborn as only Kirari could be.

Mind you, Ririka knew this was a bad idea. The choice had been between wasting two hours in the traffic on her way to school or letting Kirari give her a lift with the helicopter. Kirari had been planning her trip for two weeks. More or less, since the moment Sayaka announced she would be gone for a few days to visit her grandparents at the other end of the region.

Of course, perhaps this wouldn’t be the right vehicle to go to school. But try taking the Komatsugawa Line on a Monday morning. See how many accidents you manage to run into — how many trucks smash against light posts as if it’s their job, how many people forget to use their damn breaks. Put a nickel aside for every minute you spend bottled up. At the end of the year, you’ll have enough money to buy yourself a helicopter too.

Which is to say, perhaps in the end some choices aren’t choices at all. Ririka was just having the umpteenth confirmation of it.

The rotor hummed. White noise. There could have been enough time to take a nap — wake up and be right at school.

“The—” started Ririka.

She glanced at her sister. Kirari’s silence remained unbroken as the pilot mumbled something to the ATC.

“She… she’ll be glad to see you.” Ririka bobbed her head. “A nice surprise.”

Why and how Kirari could miss someone — her Secretary of all people — enough to put herself through so much trouble went beyond Ririka’s comprehension. The wires must have gotten mixed up someplace between Kirari’s head and her toes. A serious issue, that one: Ririka doubted that her twin understood just how much Igarashi could influence her life. How it churned Kirari’s very insides.

If only there was a proper antidote for it, a medicine. An efficient one. Something mystical, perhaps, a roasted tiger paw, or shark fin soup. That legend: feeding on someone else’s organs to strengthen oneself. Ririka was ready to give up a few pounds of her flesh to solve whatever was making Kirari’s forehead sweat like that. To teleport at school before it became too late. Not the best moment to talk about eating anyway.

“It won’t snow. In the mountains,” said Ririka. Another failed attempt at distraction.

Kirari looked pale. A bit greenish.

“Promise you’ll be fine,” had said Ririka. “Swear it.”

Kirari had smiled. “I’ll be just great.”

Kirari was digging her nails in the hand Ririka had placed around her wrist. Ririka was almost tearing up. Considering the strength she put into her grip, it was a wonder how Kirari still looked so stoic.

“It’s going to be alright,” said Ririka. “Shouldn’t be too windy, up there.”

Kirari cleared her throat. Something bobbled under her chin, a little urk sound that drained the blood off Ririka’s face. Kirari’s nail polish was falling apart as she brought her hand away from Ririka’s and in front of her mouth. Ririka couldn’t hear her belch as much as see it.

“S-She will be so happy,” she begged. “Her grandparents own a farm. Cows and— and stuff. You’ll get to try some goat cheese—”

The helicopter bobbed midair, dropping Ririka’s stomach more or less to her knees’ height. Her grip loosened around Kirari’s wrist, letting go of the pressure point she had been desperately holding onto to try and ease her twin’s nausea.

“Oh,” went the pilot. “Goin’ through a little turbulence there.”

Ririka clenched her eyes long before Kirari coughed. Except Kirari didn’t really cough. A series of urk passed through her throat. Something wet-hot and foul-smelling covered Ririka’s shoes, her pantyhose, her skirt: her soul left her tensed body to go to a higher plane of existence.

When Ririka’s being came back, Kirari was cleaning the remnants of her breakfast from the corners of her mouth. She mumbled something about the pills against the motion-sickness, the very ones she had refused to take at home. For pride or stupidity, perhaps not even Kirari knew.

Kirari gagged again. “Sometimes,” said Ririka, “I wish I had just eaten you while we were still in the womb.”

[elliium]

because of the reddit i've genuinely learned to hate the If I had two nickels meme. They overused the fck out of it. Where are the cool people who threw stats in my face every other post why are there so many memes now

😭😭😭 tbh the 2 nickels meme used to be funny before it was used for Every Single Coincidence or just reposted 50 times Lol. it’s like the constant posts about screenshotting when the reddit gets to 69,420 members like guys 😞🙌 it was funny once but if you keep reminding us about it it loses its charm LMAO . it’s okay though theyll find a new meme format soon enough and i love the reddit Even with the repetition

i love the stats posts though they’re my favourites🙌🙌🙏🙏i used to think god that’s so much reading (lol it’s not i just can’t read) but now i’ve grown and i appreciate how great the statistic people are . also i just realised a few weeks ago how cool ultrasheeplords spreadsheet is like how do you make something like that

[duvetsandpillows]

Lewis Hamilton Fluffy A-Z

A = Attractive: what do they find attractive about the other?

Your voice. Your accent is the most beautiful thing in the world. He loves listening to you talk and will stay on the phone to you all night just to hear you talk and occasionally singing to yourself.

B = Baby: do they want a family? why/why not?

You had a little baby girl when you and Lewis had started dating. The father had abandonded you and you were worried that Lewis would get scared off but Lewis fell in love with her immediately and vowed to be the best father figure he could to her. You two had discussed having a baby together and found out just before your one year anniversary that you were pregnant.

C = Cuddle: how do they cuddle?

Lewis loves cuddling with you. He's such a busy man that when he has the time to cuddle he will make the most of it. He had the habit of while talking to people he would stand behind you and wrap his arms around your shoudlers, pressing the occasional kiss to the side of your head if you didn't have much to say in the conversation.

D = Dates: what are dates with them like?

Lewis likes to make dates meaninful. They aren't usually extravagant but they are always perfect to you. He loves taking you along to race weekends as much as possible and would always take you out somewhere in every country you visit. Whether it's going out to dinner or a walk across the beach with Roscoe, the two of you enjoyed spending the time you got together.

E = Everything: “you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…)

You are my flame.

F = Feelings: when did they know they were falling in love?

After your fifth date Lewis drove you home and walked you to your door. You invited him in for a coffee and he happily accepted. The two of you were chatting on the sofa, he looked at you as you spoke about your childhood, a smile growing larger as you spoke. "What is it?" you asked placing your mug on the sidetable. "It's nothing... I just-" He took his hand in yours, placing his other hand atop of yours. "The last few weeks have been amazing and I don't think I ever want to loose you. I wanted to as you if... well if-" You put your other hand ontop of his and smiled. "Is the Lewis Hamilton nervous?" His cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink. "I would love the honour of being your girlfriend."

G = Gentle: are they gentle? If so, how?

Lewis is always gentle with you nut not too gentle. He knows you aren't made of glass and don't like being treated like a china doll. You two liked to play fight together and you've been trying to teach him some Jiu-Jitsu as you'd learnt it growing up but it usually ended up with him giving yp and insiting on you giving a million cuddles.

H = Hand/Hold: how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

Lewis liked holding your hand in public because he wants everyone to know you are his. He would always give your hand a squeeze and rub his thumb across your hand when there are large crowss of fans around. He knows you struggled a little but with all the attention and were slowly getting used to it and wanting to help you through it.

I = Impression: first impression/s

He first met you in the park. You were walking your dog  and Lewis spotted you standing under a tree as your dog ran acround the playing with a tennis ball you had brought. Roscoe bolted over to your dog, causing Lewis to smile, giving him an excuse to talk to you.

"It's like they've always known of each other." he said flashing a small smile. The two of you chatted for a while and Lewis thought you were the most interesting person he had met. When you said you had to go he made sure to get your number and a couple of days later asked you out on a date.

J = Joker: are they into pulling pranks?

You two aren't much for pranks but were always making each other laugh with jokes or messing about and being silly.

K = Kisses: how do they kiss?

Lewis always gives you the most passionate kisses. If you're in public he dials it back a little but always makes sure his kisses show you how much he loves you. When you're sad he always presses gentle kisses all over you face, it always helped calm you down and it may not fix what was happening you would know that you aren't on your own.

L = Love: who says I love you first?

Both of you. Lewis had brought you along to the Mercedes christmas party and it ended up with the two of you getting pretty drunk. When the taxi dropped you home Lewis carried you up to his apartment saying 'a princess shouldn't have to walk'. Once you took your makeup off and changed into a pair of his boxers and t-shirt you walked into the bedroom to see him sitting on the end of the bed staring at you. He reached out and pulled you towards him so you were sat in his lap. You ran your fingers through his hair as he pressed kisses up your neck until he reached your lips.

"I love you," the two of you said in sync as you pulled away before you both were in a fit of giggles.

M = Memory: their favourite moment together

You'd decided on having a home birth. After the midwife had cleaned your daughter up and passed her back to you Lewis went out the room and came back in with your older daughter. He sat the two of them on the side of the bed and placed her on his leg facing the baby.

"This is your little sister." The two of you watched as she reached out and gently held her hand, staring at her in complete adoration. You passed her over and Lewis helped your daughter hold her, making sure her nack was being supported properly. Tears began to fill your eyes as your daughter whispered 'I love you'. You two couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment.

N = Nickel: do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Lewis couldn't help but spoiling on you. It wasn't always extravagant gifts but if he would see something that reminded him of you he couldn't help but get it for you. He also couldn't help but spoil your daughters, they had the biggest wardrobes and even did a kids line for his collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger.

O = Orange: what colour reminds them of their other half?

The whole rainbow. You loved colour, your house and wardrobe was vibrant and Lewis loved it. He could look at any colour and it could remind him of you. Seeing bright green trees, a beautiful red dress or a painting of a lake would always bring his toughts back to you and you showed him how to appreciate every colour no matter how 'boring' other people find them.

P = Pet names: what pet names do they use?

Beautiful, sweetheart, my hero

Q = Quaint: what is their favourite non-modern thing?

You loved helping him design clothes. He would always come to you with first drafts and asks for your opinion. You two would sit at the table for hours until half the room is covered in sketches and bits of fabric you had picked up to try and make a prototype.

R = Rainy Day: what do they like to do on a rainy day?

You two like to go out for walks. Letting the dogs run around and play together while your daughters play in puddles. When you get home one of you will wash the dogs off while the other gives your daughters a bath. Then you'll all cuddle up on the sofa watching a movie together, eating a takeaway.  

S = Sad: how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Lewis usually comes to you fairly quickly when he's upset. You have a very level head and would always be able to find the best way to help his situation. If he's feeling down and not too sure why your daughters will give him lots of cuddles and get him to play a game with him. They were his best distraction and would remind him that no matter how tough it is right now his family is there for him and how lucky he is to have all of you.

T = Talking: what do they love to talk about?

You two talk about everything. Human rights and what's happening in the world at the moment and how you can help, race weekends, tv shows your obessed with, world politics. You two loved to have intense discussions about world issues and Lewis loved how passionate you are about them and how badly you want to help. Even when you made some questionable words to another driver whose comments royally pissed you off.

U = Unencumbered: What helps them relax?

Spending time with your daughters. After a race weekend he loved to come home and get engulfed in cuddles. he will always make sure to spend the whole evening with the three of you with no distractions. Having a teddy bear tea party, playing dress up and then winding down with a movie which usually ended up with you all falling asleep on the sofa together.

V = Vaunt: what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

Lewis isn't one to show off anymore. He likes to keep most of his life private, expecially his daughters. He would post the occasional picture and would bring them along to race weekends but doesn't want them in the spotlight. He mostly just shows off his projects that he's been working on. he would show you off sometimes, although always making sure he has your permission first, he wants everyone to know how lucky he is to have you and how stunning and intelligent you are.

W = Wedding: when, how, where do they propose?

Lewis took all four of you away for your birthday to a small private island so you could have some privacy and enjoy your holiday. One evening you were all sat int he beach, building sandcastles. You were lying on a towel as Lewis and the girls were trying to build a sandcastle resembling the disney land castle (although it was quite wonky). Lewis called you over to come take a proper look, your eldest daughter pulling your arms to speed you up.

"Mummy look in the door we found a surprise!" You knelt down and and reached your arm in, pulling out a small box. You opened it up to reveal a small diamond ring.

"Lewis what-?" You turned around to see him on one knee, daughters either side of him, your eldest flashing the biggest smile in the world, looking as if she was about to burst.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N) everyday you fill my life with pure joy. Every since we met you've always made sure I have a smile of my face and have always been there for me no matter what. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?" You burst into tears and nodded your head before flinging yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tight. The two of you shared a passionate kiss and he slid the ring on your finger while your daughters were cheering in the background.  

X = Xylophone: What’s their song?

Run the World - Beyoncé

Y = You’re the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You’re the light to my life.

Z = Zebra: if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

Lewis obviously has Roscoe and you have your dog too. You wanted to get a cat but it was a work in progress as Lewis said it was a mad house already but he decided to surprise you for christmas with one after the girls hadn't stopped asking him for once since September.

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

📷I took five minutes to vacuum my closet the other day. It was part of my routine cleaning, no big deal. It was just a quick thing to check off on my cleaning list. I removed some boxes of stuff in the bottom, a few pairs of slippers, and vacuumed. I replaced the stuff and went on with my---

No. I didn't.

No, I looked at the bottom of the closet in a state of shock and burst out laughing.

I have spent a large portion of my life trying to get organized. When I was a child, "cleaning my room" really did mean tossing everything I could think of where to put it in a closet so that it looked tidy when Mom poked her head in. I was the child with the cubby under the desk in grade school so stuffed with papers and junk that it was simply impossible to add or find anything.

This level of disorganization bothered and embarrassed me. It really hurt and made me feel like a failure.

As a teenager, my backpack also became a mess of papers, random items, books, and paraphernalia (no, not that kind. In many ways, I was hopelessly square)

As an adult, it wasn't much better. My desk was full of bills to be paid, papers I didn't want to face, things that were vaguely sentimental but not enough to display anywhere. My closet?

That was still the place where I hid stuff I didn't have a place for but wanted the room at least to appear a little tidy.

How long from a stuffed closet to a tidy closet?

It took about thirty years.

I wasted a lot of that time, though. I addressed it in cycles. "Starting now, I'm finally going to get organized!" I'd spend several hours a day over a few weeks cleaning, organizing, and playing possessions Tetris with my home. After a month or so, know what? The house would look great!

Then, inevitably, the house would no longer look great. I'd clean the kitchen well enough to prevent food poisoning, but more than that? Not so much.

Ever done that? C'mon, it's okay. We all have.

Being tidy over time is all about consistent action.

You can, indeed, get the house clean with heroic effort, just as you can work really hard to train for an athletic event.

The problem comes in when you do something intense for a short period. As I mentioned in my last post, heroic effort is unsustainable.

Several of my favorite housekeeping systems (Flylady and Unfuck Your Habitat) talk about starting very small – shining your sink or making your bed. They are so right!

It's not about getting tidied or organized quickly. It's about developing consistent habits. For a lot of people, that's enough.

But for some…

Executive dysfunction can interfere with consistency.

If you have organizational or distraction issues, habits may not be enough. Autism, ADHD, and a host of other neurodivergent issues centered around executive dysfunction make it hard to do things that seem pretty obvious to the neurotypical person. What? You need to wash the dishes after a meal? No kidding. Go do it!

As I was writing this article, I broke for dinner. Guess what is in my sink right now?

I thought about it, got up, scrubbed the pan a little, realized it needed to soak some more, and sat back down here to write. Sure, sure, I'll get to it after I finish this, no biggie. But if my sink was full of dishes other than that pan, if I had laundry on my sofa, a desk drawer full of unaddressed bills, and my phone beeping that I needed to get up and get my car to the garage to get the brakes done, would I be getting back to that pan in any reasonable amount of time?

*Hollow laugh*

People with executive dysfunction issues can find their problems painful.

Maybe some people laugh and think it's cute to be disorganized. It never felt cute to me. It hurt because I had a hard time doing what I wanted to do. I was utterly desperate to get my life under control. Completely and utterly desperate from the time I was nine years old. That's a heavy load.

Jokes about executive dysfunction aren't cute.

I know the whole "squirrel!" joke about distractibility is mean to make people feel better and okay with themselves. I never wanted to be okay with chaos. I wanted the chaos to stop. It hurt. It interfered with accomplishing what I wanted to. It was exhausting. It used up time I wanted to spend on other things. I wanted a clean canvas so that when I jumped from obsession to obsession to obsession, I could feel like I was using that time intelligently rather than as a distraction from things that were bothering me.

Late fees, court cases, and lost jobs aren't cute, either.

There's an ADHD vlogger that I really like named Jessica McCabe. She's brilliant and adorable, and being a little bit of the manic pixie thing is part of her brand. It gets people to listen to broad issues of executive dysfunction. People will accept and listen to that stuff sometimes and find it palatable if someone is small and young and cute. (She's a LOT older than her looks or mannerisms would indicate, by the way).

So, the brilliant part. Quite sure McCabe knows what she's doing with that because sometimes she drops the adorable thing. The pain of being disorganized or having a hard time directing attention is very, very clear. If she weren't so cute, it would be unlikely as many people would listen to the important things she is saying. There's more to her than cute by a long shot. (And don't get me started on the sexism of it).

But that whole "cute" thing about disorganization. It's not so cute when unpaid bills land you in court. That has happened to me. With money in the BANK, that has happened to me! (Or without money. *shrugs* That, too). It's not cute when you have to buy a car at interest rates that are close to what you'd pay on a credit card. Yeah, that's happened, too. That we're in good financial shape now is a miracle.

There is a cultural narrative of *giggle* *giggle* "I'm so distractable!" to try to ameliorate the pain of being disorganized. Know what? It's not funny. It hurts.

Proscriptive solutions won't work.

I use a Bullet Journal just about with the out-of-the-box method that Ryder Carrol posted in that first video he did about it. I tried it, and it clicked.

Know what wouldn't have clicked? Someone making me do it when I was fifteen.

This is where you, if you have problems with executive dysfunction, might wonder if I can provide an answer for you. Know what? I can't.

I can say, "You need a Bullet Journal." I mean, I'll think it. I wouldn't say it. Know why? It won't necessarily work for you.

What I will say is that you need to find methods that work for you.

"Okay, smartybrat," I hear you cry, "if you can't offer a solution, what do I do?"

Create systems that support you

This is going to look different depending on how you think. Does a beepy reminder go bing! and prompt you to do stuff? Do you like to have a menu of tasks that you choose from depending on how easily they grab your attention in the moment?

What primes you to take action?

What plans have you followed through on (c'mon, you do have some if you're alive past 20), and what about them made you feel good?

My husband doesn't use a Bullet Journal. He plans his day using a calendar app. If there's an interrupt to a task, he'll move it to another free time. When you first try this, I strongly encourage you to multiply your estimation of task time by at least four until you get good at estimating how long something will take. If you have executive dysfunction issues you're struggling with, I'd bet at least a nickel that you're not good at estimating how long things take yet.

What stops you from taking action? Can you remove the interrupts?

A simple example would be to take the dirty clothes hamper's lid off if that's enough to discourage you from tossing your clothes in the hamper. Still, I'm not talking about "Tips 'n Tricks" here. I hate tips 'n tricks! They're like taking a Tylenol when you cut off your leg. You need to extrapolate that to life systems to support how you want to live.

Your system is useless until you define "good enough."

I could skip the next two or three times I need to vacuum my closet, and I wouldn't care. If I get to it every year or so, it's absolutely good enough. "Good enough" means I address my paperwork file once a week and clear it out. I don't have to do it every day unless I feel like it. "Good enough" is walking for five minutes on the hour around my living room until I get my 10,000 steps in. I don't have to walk for three miles unless I want to. "Good enough" is spreading up the bed and tossing the shams at the head. I don't have to bounce a quarter off the damn thing unless I get a wild hare to do that sometimes. Don't give yourself an image of perfection you have to attain, or you'll do nothing.

It's okay for "good enough" to change

Remember how it took thirty years to get to vacuuming a closet? There was a time when that chore wasn't on the "good enough" list, and ya know what? That's fine. Have your "good enough" be slightly, but only slightly, ahead of what you're currently doing if you want to make improvements. Incremental improvements over time, and I mean decades, are pretty dramatic when you look back.

Good enough can stay good enough

My exercise parameters have me getting in an average of 10,000 steps a day as measured over a month. That is never going to change. If the Spirit moves me, I'll do more. But I'm not going to keep raising the bar over and over and over. This is it. I'm good. I'm maintaining.

It takes decades to get your life in order. What small thing will you do today?