#also im making it sound so dramatic there was nothing that big but like if this was happening now i would probably kill myself honestly

[circusclownproductions]

UR GINGER???

im sorry ophelia, but idk if we can be friends anymore </3 im gingerphobic

/J /J

Oh boy /lh/nm

[nanaslutt]

Gojo cumming in his pants thats it thank u for listening

listening so hard rn, i probably think abt this exact scenario 50 times a day

thank yew so much for the ask ml<3

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀: fem reader, established relationship, dry humping, clit rubbing (through clothes), dirty talk, corruption kink, fluff, crack, size kink if you squint, praise at the end from gojo, gojo is head over heals for reader, gojo cums in his pants<3

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

waking up from your deep, much needed night of sleep you couldn’t help but notice you felt about 180 pounds heavier than you remember feeling when you fell asleep last night, also feeling much hotter than you recall

you had your softly snoring mountain of a boyfriend to thank for that, resting his heavy head on your chest, arms wrapped snug around your barely clothed figure

you must have accidentally fallen asleep waiting for him to come home last night

you were planning to surprise him with the new set you got the other day, hes been so stressed out with work lately and you just wanted to do something nice for your boy, luckily you passing out prematurely hadn’t ruined your plans as you had slipped one of his big tshirts over yourself to conceal your present to him

“satoru,” you groaned wiggling underneath him, trying to get his heater of a body off of you

“mmmmmm..” he let out a long groan, shifting a bit, making you think he was going to move before he collapsed back into you

“toruuuu uppp, im gonna overheat and die because of you,” you shake his shoulders to fully wake him up

“yer ‘s mean ‘t me,” he mumbles, squeezing his arms around you impossibly tight making you let out a groan before he rolls you over like a boa constrictor, you positions now switched, legs straddled around his slutty little waist

you push your hands on his chest, sitting back on his pelvis and brushing the hair out of his face, “dramatic oaf,” you smile watching him nuzzle your hand like a cat,

“fell asleep without me last night,” he says quietly, closing his eyes and humming in appreciation as you rubbed your thumb against his cheek

“what time did you get home anyways?” you questioned, his warm hands settling on your upper thighs, rubbing the skin there

“mmm…mayb’ four…” he says slowly, sleep still laced in his voice, starting to mindlessly slide his hands up and down the sides of your body, eyes still shut,

“we’ll that’s why i fell asleep without you.” eyes still closed as he slipped his fingers under the fabric of your panties sitting on your hip,

starting to feel a warm sensation creep inside your body, different from the overwhelming physical heat his body provided

it’s only when you become aware of your own growing need that you feel his, very prominent problem underneath you,

“toru, ‘s so early, what are you this hard for?” you tease, moving your hand away from his face resulting in a whine as you rubbed your hands over his clothed pecs

“if i told you i had a naughty dream about you would you believe me?” he cracked his eyes open slightly, wiggling his eyesbrows

“you being a pervert even in your dreams?course i believe you.” you retorted,

he gasped, eyes opening a bit more, faux offense plastered on his face,

“hah! pervert? i’m nothing if not a gentleman thank you,” he rolled his eyes, “for your information, YOU came onto ME.” he huffed, failing to notice his own hands that have trailed over your (his) shirt and started groping your chest,

“you sound so convincing with your hands on my tits toru,” you deadpanned,

“they asked me to play with them.” he gave you a toothy grin, pinching over your shirt where he thought your nipples might be

“ah! toru,” you softly whimpered, “wan’ this perv to stop?” he asked, smile still plastered on his face as he stares at you intently,

“shut up,” you breathily moaned, letting your head roll back, running your hands down his hard abs, starting to roll your hips over his stiff clothed cock,

“‘m not the only one worked up this morning huh?” his breath hitches, feeling your pussy slide over the tip of his dick just right, even through both of your clothes,

“if you- haaah, didn’t come home so late last night, we would’nt have this p-problem,” you stuttered out, putting more pressure on his abs with your palms as you humped back and forth over the large bulge in his sweats

his hands leaving your chest, one coming down to dig his fingers into the fat of your ass, helping you rock yourself on his cock, the other splaying itself out on your tummy, thumb coming down to rub your clit through your panties,

“yeah? wanted to fuck me last night baby?” he questioned, biting his lip, feeling dizzy from the lack of sleep combined with the perfect pressure and friction you were creating on his dick, leaking pre all over the inside of his boxers,

“t-take off my shirt toru,” you said grinding yourself faster on him, pussy leaking through your panties, leaving a dark patch on the crotch of his sweats

it’s only been a couple minutes and he was feeling drunk, gasping and groaning watching his pretty girlfriend wearing 𝒉𝒊𝒔 shirt and rub her hands all over his body while she uses him to get off, it was almost too much, and now the angel on top of him just asked him to take off her clothes?

he wastes no time, hands abandoning their respective positions on your body, grabbing the shirt from the sides of your figure, caressing your skin as he pulls the fabric up, up, up,

his jaw drops and his eyes go wide when he sees what you were hiding from him, your tits were cradled in a light blue fabric, the same colour as his crystalline eyes, the border of the blue panties decorated with pretty white lace, a small rose on the front formed into a heart,

the next sounds that came out of his mouth you have never heard him make before, hands shooting to your waist and gripping you bruisingly, jolting forward, abs clenching under your fingers as his hips buck up into you,

high pitched whimpers leaving his mouth one after another while he completely paints the inside of his boxers white, rope after rope of his thick cum spurting out of his needy cock and sticking to himself

“haaaaaaah, fuuuck,” he vocalizes, relaxing into the bed, aftershocks of his orgasm leaving him twitching, the back of his arm coming to cover his eyes as he heaves, other hand massaging your hip, his chest rapidly moving up and down,

“toru did you just-“ stilling your movements you looked down, sliding back slightly and seeing the previous wet patch you left on him grow steadily, definitely not from your doing this time

“sorry, haaa- didnt- ngh- didn’t think you were gonna look that beautiful,” his arm slides off his face and there’s a dopey grin adorning his features

his face is completely red and he looks like he just got the soul sucked out of him,

“ah…cant beleive you just made me cum in my pants so fast like some teenager,” he laughs, making eye contact with you again, and his eyebrows shoot up at your current state,

your own jaw is dropped, breathing rapidly, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so aroused in your life, cunt fucking throbbing with need, hearts practically in your eyes, at the realization of what you just made him do,

you think you might’ve just discovered something about yourself….

[amuyyi]

she wants me (to be loved) .

synopsis; you have always loved huh yunjin, but not in the way she loved you.

trope; huh yunjin x f!reader, angst, unrequited (?) love, bittersweet ending

wc; 4.6k

cw; idk like one cuss word LMAO

a/n; i swear im still in forever writers block but THIS FIC IS INSPIRED BY THE SHE WANTS ME TO BE LOVED WARRIOR CATS AMV ON YOUTUBE ITS ABOUT BLUEFUR AND THRUSHPELT PLEEEEK WATCH IT AND/OR LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING IM JUST SO ARRGGHHH also its almost 4 am i am half asleep i just realllyy wanted to finish this. also i used to be a theatre kid so.

You have always loved Huh Yunjin. But not in the way she loved you.

You recall very vividly the first day you met her.

It was the middle of freshman year of high school, and you had just moved into New York from out of state. Your father had just gotten a new job opportunity, and practically wasted no time packing all of your things to move in the middle of the school year. Perfect. New place, new faces, and definitely no friends. Everything an emotional teenage girl needed in a cruical stage of her development. All of the other students in your classes were nice enough, but everyone already had their established friend groups by now, and you simply didn't fit what they were looking for.

Despite the different environment, there was one thing that this school provided that provided some sort of familiarity.

Theater.

Back in middle school and for the brief semester you had in your old high school, you had always been a fan of the big stage. The music, the dramatics, the acting… It was all so whimsical and alluring to you. How could you not get involved?

(Okay, honestly.. You had gotten really into musical theater in middle school once you found a Hamilton animatic and it became your sole personality trait for a good two years or so–)

Unfortunately, you were too much of a coward to truly put yourself out there like the actors around you. High school insecurities and poor self esteem truly did take its toll on you back then. So instead, you settled for being part of the stage crew. 

You thought that getting involved with a club would make it easier for you to socialize and make friends. You could join a community. Yet somehow, it made everything all the more difficult.

Everybody seemed to already know each other and have their own established friends. On top of that, everyone also seemed to know who they hated as well. You would always overhear what other actors and techies would say about one another and it only just put you off from making friends even more. The whole environment was incredible… cliquey. 

Still, you had nothing else better to do, so you stayed. It was… Fine. You still had no real friends, but you did enjoy doing various tasks around the stage. Working with stage lights, helping prepare costumes, painting backdrops. It keeps you busy. It was routine.

It wasn’t an uncommon sight to walk in on actors practicing their lines or their songs backstage. Back home, you knew everyone involved within the production– including the actors. You would always compliment them and occasionally even provide help whenever you didn’t have your own techy jobs to fulfill. The main problem? This isn't home. Nobody here was your friend.

But when you found a pretty girl practicing for this semester's production of Phantom of The Opera in an empty hallway, you couldn't help but stop in your tracks and stare. You’ve never seen her before. Well, it's not like you bothered to pay much attention to the people around you anymore— but you feel like you wouldn't miss a face like hers.

She had the prettiest brown hair with highlights and the cutest beauty mark near the corner of her mouth. She was pacing around the hall, script in hand as she did various vocal exercises. The sound of her voice echoes off the walls, and it was just as angelic as she looked. 

“Prima Donna, your song shall live again…!” She sings out, her voice at a steady yet powerful vibrato throughout her verse. Her Bel Canto was skilled and practiced, and you can't help but wonder how long she’s been doing this for. Surely she’s overqualified for a simple high school production? You needed to hear more…

She moves her hands in elegant and dramatic forms as she immerses herself into the self-centered character of Carlotta. She played the roke perfectly, considering how most definitely had your attention now.

 “You took a snub, but theres a public who needs you, think of the cr—“

A loud thud rings throughout the hallway, startling the mystery opera singer as well as yourself. Shit. You look down and see the culprit. Well, it was you. you caused the interruption— but more specifically, it was a freshly decapitated mannequin head with a wig you were going to more securely attach to the top. It was a bit of a horrific sight, in all honesty.

Now that you think about it, this prop might actually be for her. Though you didn't have much time to ponder that thought considering the mysterious brown haired beauty has now caught you eavesdropping on her singing.

The head rolls across the tile floor and lands at her feet. You feel your face warm to what was most likely a bright tomato red as she picks it up by its shortened neck, the wig threatening to fall off as it dangles limply off of the top of its head.

“I'm assuming this is yours?” She smiles kindly at you, though a bit wary. Understandable, really. You would be wary of yourself too if you were in her shoes.

“Y-Yeah, sorry…” you nervously laugh, taking the head from her hands as you try to pat the wig back into place. 

“You sounded good, by the way!” You quickly stammer out, absentmindedly hugging the head to your chest, “Like… really good. Seriously.”

The mystery girl laughs at your flustered words, and she waves her hand dismissively. Her cheeks warm bashfully as she shakes her head.

“Thanks but… I have a lot to work on. My tones off, and I still need to memorize these lines by tomorrow…” she trails off, moving to press her back against the wall, sliding and sitting down on the floor.

Fiddling a bit with the mannequin head, you don't allow yourself to think too hard before you suddenly blurt out.

“I-I can help!”

You watch as her pretty brown eyes widen slightly, and

“Really? You sure you arent too busy?

You were actually quite busy, but she didnt have to know that.

“Of course not,” you lie confidently, sticking a hand out, “I’m y/n.”

She eyes your hand curiously, but ultimately shakes it, “Yunjin. Jennifer, if you’d like.”

From then on, you would spend every other day after school with Yunjin, helping her recite her lines, fitting her for costume changes, and even finishing that mannequin head prop for her.

Soon after, your after school hangouts turned into out of school hangouts and then eventual sleepovers every weekend. You learned everything possible about Yunjin. Like how she had always dreamed of being a performer, how she wanted to make it big in the Kpop industry, how she loves snakes…

Since then, you knew you loved her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

On one seemingly normal spring afternoon, you were abruptly torn away from your sunkissed siesta with the sound of your door being kicked open.

With the growing bond between you and Yunjin, you made the mistake of giving the girl a spare key to your own home. (Oddly enough, your parents werent against the idea. They considered Yunjin like a second daughter.)

You whine out as she grasps at your half asleep form, shaking you aggressively.

“I got accepted into a company, y/n!! I'm gonna be a trainee!”

Eyes shooting open, you try to sit up through the aggressive grip Yunjin had on you.

“No kidding?” You croak out, looking at her with disbelief.

“I'm not!” She cheers, bouncing happily through your bedroom. Trying to match her energy through the grogginess, you slip out of bed, stumbling a bit as you tumble into her arms. Yunjin laughs at your state, wrapping her arms around your waist to keep you steady as she jumps excitedly.

“I’m  going to move back to Korea next month— this is so exciting!!” She squeals out, and your smile falters ever so slightly. Move? To Korea?

Still, you bite back the sickly feeling developing in your stomach as you squeal alongside her.

You were happy for her, and did nothing but support her all throughout her time in Korea. Called her every night after training, sent her pictures of school life without her, even voting for her in that odd survival show she participated in. You did anything and everything you could to be the best friend you could be.

Yunjin always had the stars in her eyes. But in yours? There was only ever her. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

The day that everything truly changed is still fresh in your mind.

After spending years chasing after Yunjin, it feels like you have finally caught up to her. She's back in the states after her time in Korea, and she's planning on staying. She looked a little different than before, but it was the same old Jennifer you knew and loved— even when missing a few moles and deeper eyebags.

Upon her arrival back home, it was like no time had passed. Once again attached at the hip, as it should be. You practically made it your job to crawl into her skin at any given moment and to pamper her with all of her favorite things. 

You would treat her to meals, spontaneous shopping sprees, and simple girls nights out. All of the good stuff to make up for lost time. Unfortunately, your attempts to keep your best friend happy came with their own obstacles. you would occasionally find advertisements or clips of idols that would show up during your time together, and for just a brief moment, you would see that usual spark within Yunjin’s eyes falter. It was a stark reminder of what she could have had.

It hurt you to see her get reminded of her time as a trainee. It truly was everything she wanted and more. But it was okay, you were here now, and you weren't planning on letting her go this time.

You’d drop any and everything for Yunjin. You allowed her to vent whenever she needed, to come over whenever she wanted, and to indulge in spontaneous late night meals whenever you two felt like it.

Needless to say, your wallet was crying by the time summer was nearing its end, but you didn’t mind at all. Yunjin was back. She was happy. You were happy. Things were finally returning to normal.

The two of you decide on a college to attend together in Boston, both pursuing a major in business. It's neither of your first choices in majors, but it's a good enough money maker in the long run. 

The pair of you sat in Yunjins bedroom, with you comfortably propped up against her bedframe on the floor whilst the brunette lay comfortably on the mattress. You hugged the  djungelskog plushie you had gifted Yunjin some birthday ago close to your chest as you atared at your phone, with Yunjin crunching away on cheez-its as the entire La La Land soundtrack softly plays from the record player in the corner of the room. 

Its nearly less than a month until move in day at Boston University, and you feel beyond giddy. Actual independence? And spending it with your best friend slash secret crush? Your dreams were coming true. Looking through your college dorms on the website, the pair of you converse about the future.

“What kind of theme do you think we should go for our dorm?” you ask, leaning your head against the bed to look up at Yunjin, who was still crunching away contentedly at her snacks.

“I'm not sure… But I do know I want to cover my wall with all of my posters…”

“Ooh! Yeah!! I can add fake flowers on the walls…”

“ Of course, we need a bit of girlish charm— oh! we need to make room for a record player and my guitar.”

“Google maps says there's a 7-eleven near the campus…” you murmur, your short attention prompting you to immediately shift to another topic.

“ Should we go got late night snack runs?”

“Duh.”

“Or maybe if we get tired of the dorm food, we can get equally as crappy convenience store food for instead–”

Suddenly, the music from Yunjin’s phone gets cut off, being replaced with her ringtone (it was Come Inside Of My Heart by IV of Spades ) as she huffs.

“ sorry, hold that thought..” She murmurs, answering the call.

You didn't know any Korean, the only bits you’re familiar with are the phrases Yunjin taught you to talk with her parents (which you also butchered) so you naturally begin to tune out whatever she begins to say on her end. Despite this though, you easily pick up on the shift in tone as she speaks. Professionalism, skepticism, to Shock. That was all you could read off of Yunjin as you looked up from your phone, curiously glancing at her. Her eyes were boggling out of her skull, and she placed a hand over her mouth before ending the call.

The brunette remains frozen in place, hand still over her mouth as a silence passes over the room.

“So….?” You ask, crawling up onto the bed to sit next to her.

Yunjin’s voice is shaky, yet laced with a twinge of excitement and disbelief as she speaks, “I just got a call from Hybe. I… I have the chance to debut.”

You don’t know what came over you at that moment. It felt like the world came collapsing down on you. Right now, you should be happy. Jumping for joy, focusing all on Yunjin and her chance for success. She's been given a real chance to make her dreams come true, even after it seemed impossible, even after all the years of rejection and work. This was all she wanted in life and more— you should be happy? Right?

But you’ve always been a selfish person. Or maybe you convinced yourself you were ever since that day. You don’t know. Maybe in that moment, you realized you could lose everything you’ve been waiting for. You’d lose the girl you've chased after for so many years now. If you didn't do something now, you wouldn’t have the chance to do it ever again. You were a greedy person, so you confess.

“Yunjin, I love you. I always have.”

The words feel like a slap to the face, and it shows. It shows in the way her eyes widen and smile falls. This was a bad idea, but you can't back out now. Your eyes begin to water as your voice cracks.

“I… I don’t want you to go— to leave me…” you choke out, “What about uni? Our dorm? What am I going to do without you?”

You knew you were being manipulative, you knew you were being selfish. But you didn’t care. You wanted her to know how you truly felt. You didn’t want her to leave you, not again. Your heart couldn’t handle it.

Through tears threatening to spill out, you can see her cheeks slowly dust a faint shade of pink as she processes your words. She seems… hesitant. Over what? You weren’t too sure. You weren’t too sure if you even wanted to know. 

The silence that washes over the two of you is beyond suffocating. You feel like you’re drowning, digging your nails into your palms as you look away. If you looked at her, you were scared you’d break, and the tears would begin to flow. After a few moments that feel like hours, she finally responds.

“I believe you have feelings for me…” she begins, voice soft yet strained. For some reason, those words leave a bad feeling in your gut. You muster up enough courage to meet her gaze. She looked just as hurt and conflicted as you felt. Yunjins grip on her phone tightens as she takes a deep breath, continuing, “...but I can’t give this up, y/n. It's my dream.”

That was the moment you knew you truly lost her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

In another life, you and Yunjin would be at Boston University together, pursuing that business degree that neither of you want.

It's a dream that used to occasionally return to you when Yunjin was overseas. Every now and then, you’d wake up in a cold sweat, and you’d check Yunjins location. She’d still be in Seoul. It was okay though, because you knew she’d always come back. She always came back. Now it haunts you every other night.

The dream is always so incredibly vivid and real. You would wake up to Yunjins many alarms that she somehow manages to sleep through every single time, and you’d peel your eyes opened to your shared dorm room. Though you didn’t have much time to admire the beauty of it all through the sound of an alarm continuously dragging you out of your slumber. She’s always been a heavy sleeper. you’d have to jump on Yunjins sleeping form to even stir her into some form of consciousness.

Yunjin groaned in protest, but you knew her. She wasn’t truly bothered, not when it came to you. Instead of entertaining your futile attempts to wake her up, she would wrap her arm around your waist, dragging you down with her as you squeal out.

She's warm. Her brown bobbed hair has grown out by now, black roots peeking through the top of her head as you join the mess that is her bed (and hair.) She smells like vanilla and wood, and you can't help but laugh into her embrace. You’ll be late to the dining hall for breakfast, but it doesn't really matter. There was a 7-eleven nearby that could provide breakfast while the two of you rushed to your classes– in which you had meticulously planned to have almost every single class together.

After a long day of school, you would return back to your dorm both collapsing on your respective beds as exhaustion settles in. It was decorated just the way you two liked it. With both boy and girl band posters littering the walls alongside some fake vines, flowers, and a multitude of polaroids you two have accumulated over the years. 

Once the two of you move out of the dorms and graduate, you’d find an apartment to share. Dual income and no children, that was the way to live. Alongside a cat and a dog, of course. You’d have a black cat named Binx, and a golden retriever named Dug, something you two had discussed many times before. 

It’s beyond perfect. You lay on the couch, comfortably in Yunjins arms as a blanket is lazily draped over your forms. Binx is settled upon your lap as Dug takes up the space on the rug. The tv is playing Coraline— a staple movie for you two, and you'd smile. Yunjin would lovingly return the grin, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your lips.

And then you’d wake up, the grim reality of your situation compared to your dream sending tears flowing down your cheeks. You’re constantly reminded how Yunjin wasn't yours. Not in this lifetime. And it hurt more than anything else.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You’ve always been there for Yunjin, both before and after she became famous.

In High school, you of course supported her throughout your brief time in the drama club. But you also provided a shoulder to cry on, a free source of math homework answers, a friend.

When she moved back to Korea to become a trainee, you helped her through the rough patches. Hours of dance training, rigorous workouts, and unhealthy dieting took a toll on her. But you were always there through the phone, no matter the time. 

Even after her debut, you remained loyally by her side. Yunjin grew busier and more distant over the years, and it was understandable. You were busy too. With college, internships, and general “adulting,” it was a challenge to remain in contact. Still, when you two did find time to talk, Yunjin would tell you stories of her members, of the rumors and scandals that would plague the group. It hurt to see her hurting, especially knowing you couldn't be there for her like before. But you were glad to see her achieving all she wanted and more.

You hop into one of Yunjins late night livestreams (even if it was the morning for you.) It wasn’t like you couldn’t just call her whenever you wanted, but it was just another one of the little things you would do to continuously support your friend. Yunjin never made a scene whenever you popped in, but always made sure to look for your comments and read them out every single time.

“Sing something from Phantom or you’re lame?” She reads out, a soft laugh slipping past her lips as she does so.

The idol gives the camera a knowing look, one that only could be read by you, and you smile as she clears her throat. Phantom of the Opera is what brought you two together, after all. She spends a few minutes doing short vocal exercises to warm up her voice, and the sight is oddly nostalgic. Yunjin then sits up straight as she begins to sing, and you feel your heart twinge slightly at her song choice.

“Think of me,

Think of me fondly,

When we've said goodbye.

Remember me,

Once in a while,

Please promise me you'll try.” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Now here you were, in a completely foreign country, placed in more than accommodating seats within the VIP section of this unfamiliar venue you’ve never even heard of before. There were hordes of men around you, all cheering in a deep voiced mass for the girls on stage. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Yet, there was Yunjin. You watch her, shining brightly on stage whilst donning a fresh head of bright orange hair. It suited her. Her fiery passion, her fierce determination that got her here in the first place, her glowing smile. It was all only a physical expression of who she was on the inside.

Yunjin had insisted on getting you these tickets– even going out of her way to even cover part of your plane ticket here despite you having a very stable and office job now. You tried to tell her you were happy enough to see her from the nosebleed seats in the back, especially since it was all you could afford on such short notice. But she refused, pulling some strings to give you the best seats possible. She wanted you here. More than anyone else.

You’ve seen Yunjin perform before. How could you not? You could vividly recall the way she would sing out and capture the entire crowd’s attention from the stage of your high school’s auditorium. How she would perform with such confidence and precision, how she performed like she was made for this. 

Things have changed a lot since then. There was no business college in your future together anymore. No planned dorms together. No more late night talks. No 7-eleven snack runs. Yet oddly enough, despite the changes, this was seemingly no different than before. Every person in the crowd was entranced, immediately allured by her natural charm and her passionate voice. You included. Just like those many years before, she still managed to have you bewitched on the sidelines while she chases after the spotlight.

So you cheer. Joining the roaring crowd as you call out Yunjins name, a bright smile playing on your lips as you do so. You’ve always been her biggest fan, after all. You swear you saw her make eye contact with you, seemingly providing her an energy boost as she sings out to the audience. She was beautiful, and she knew it.

Once the show is over, you find your way to the backstage area. You tried your best to explain to the security how you were friends with one of the members, and how she invited you back there. Unfortunately, your Korean was less than conversational, and you pretty much looked like an embarrassingly desperate and obsessive fan until Chaewon came and saved the day.

“y/n-nnie! Come, Come!! I saw you in the crowd!!” She chirps out sweetly, abruptly pushing past the guard and dragging you backstage, leaving the security both confused and a bit exhausted. This might not have been the first time the girls have tried to meet with their friends after performances.

There were people everywhere. Stage hands, stylists, makeup artists, and more, all rushing around you two and occasionally praising Chaewon. You felt beyond out of place, and probably looked the part too. Despite having Yunjin as a friend, you’ve never once felt like you were friends with a celebrity. She was simply your Jennifer, and that was more than enough. Being here though, you could truly see the extent of the impact she had on people. How so many people respected her and admired her.

Lost within your thoughts and observations of the crowd, you barely notice when Chaewon lets go of your arm, leaving you to fall victim to a bright orange mass stampeding your way. Without warning, you’re tackled into a hug by none other than Yunjin herself. You swear you see stars as the air gets forced out of your lungs.

“y/n!! You made it!!” She beams, giving you a firm squeeze pulling away to fully take in the sight of you. Her arms are still firmly wrapped around your form as her eyes almost sparkled with pure affection for you. Your cheeks warm at the contact, and you can't help but shyly avoid her gaze. Even after all of this time, she still has the same effect on you. After letting out a soft breath, she quietly murmurs, “I was singing for you, y’know.”

And your heart aches. Aches for what you two could have had. Aches for feelings she chooses not to reciprocate. You want to be angry with her. Despise her for leaving you behind and living this luxurious celebrity life. 

Yet your heart also swells. Swells with pure affection for the girl you love. The way she holds you, how she insists on having you attend, how sweetly she says your name. All of it makes you crumble all too easily. She truly cares for you, and never let the fame change that. You truly were lucky to have her.

“Really, now? You sure you weren't singing for the sea of men you forced me to sit with?” You laugh out, gently shoving her, “I swear I heard a guy say he ditched a family dinner to be there.”

Yunjin loudly laughs at your comment as she shakes her head, “How about you come over to our dorms to celebrate tonight, yeah? We’ll even let you pick a movie – or I’ll make them watch whatever you choose… Please?”

You were a bit hesitant. These were Yunjin’s friends. You didn’t want to intrude, especially after a crazy night like this. Yet, despite your reluctance, Yunjin stares down at you with those damn puppy eyes, and somehow manages to get Eunchae and Chaewon to join in…

“... Okay, fine,” you groan out, feigning disappointment as you see Yunjins eyes light up. “but we’re watching Coraline.”

The girls all cheer and pull you into a tight hug, with Yunjin holding onto you just a bit tighter than the others.

Huh Yunjin loves you. But not in the way you want. Yunjin wants you to be loved. 

And loved you are, even if it means she can't be yours.

[nereidprinc3ss]

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

[cranberryjuice-posts]

Before I get too mean

Pairings - clarisse x femme! Reader

Synopsis- you need closure, clarisse needs a good reason to fuck around

An: THERES NO SMUT JUST MAKING OUT😭🙏

For months now all you’ve been trying to do was get over clarisse. After you two had a big argument over something stupid and a dramatic breakup you done everything. You’ve madeout with other girls you’ve flirted around and even flashed someone but nothing compared.

Clarisse on the other hand Didn’t give two shits. She saw you fucking around with other campers but she knew none of them were better than her.

And you knew exactly what you were doing tonight, purposely wearing a tanktop that showed off your cleavage and a pair of sweats that showcased your hips and ass— you knew exactly what to do to get clarisses attention and you also knew how to get her riled up by flirting with one of her sisters. You figured messing around with clarisse one last time will finally give you the closure you wanted.

That’s why it wasn’t a suprise when you were in the ares cabin with clarisse pushed up against the wall and her hands tracing your hips and ass while you two kissed. She started to kiss down your neck eventually leaving hickeys.

“Ah!~ Lise stop” you whined and pushed her head away. “I fucking said no marks”

Clarisse Just rolled her eyes “You Wanna make-out but you don’t want me to leave hickeys, you wanna flirt with my sister and get me mad but don’t want me to react, you want me to kiss you like your my girlfriend but you don’t want me to say shit to you” she sarcastically spoke “at this point just ask to get together”

You just scoffed “as if we broke up because your an entitled bitch”

“Boohoo suddenly its a crime for a woman to have a personality” clarisse grinned before grabbing your face pulling you in not letting you respond.

Standing on your tippy toes and creasing your shoes in the process, you continued to kiss your ex girlfriend.

Once again clarisse started to kiss your neck trying to leave hickeys but this time you didn’t care and just let her. You grabbed a handful of her curls and tugged them knowing it would piss clarisse off because of the knots it made.

She groaned and bit you. “Ow! You shit”

“Don’t tug my hair”

“Don’t leave hickeys!”

Clarisse Just grunted and started to suck on your neck just to prove a point to you. “Just because your pissed doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me”

“Yeah Well im out of sympathy for you” you panted still messing up her hair.

—

Still pressed against the wall clarisse started to pepper kisses on your cheek while you played with her necklace.

“Maybe you should leave” Clarisse muttered “before you get mean and fuck shit up again by taking it out on me”

You giggled. “Yeah well your angry ass needs someone equally as toxic to keep you in line”

“Mmhmm maybe you should have left when silena Said i was bad news, that’s why your so broken hearted” clarisse continued to make her way down to your neck and top of your chest.

You closed your eyes and tucked some hair behind clarisses ear.

The moment was ruined however when some ares kids started to bang on the door. “Clarisse what the fuck let us in!” One shouted as the door was locked. You jumped at the noise and yelped as clarisse shoved you aside.

“Bitch”

“Just sneak out the window damn” she sighed and rubbed her lips that had your lipstick on it. She watched as you started to sneak out- before you shut the window clarisse whistled gaining your attention. “Keep it open and sneak in again tonight” she grinned and you rolled your eyes.

——

You: *sneaks in like clarisse asked*

Some ares kid who woke up from the sound of the door: “if your sneaking in to hook up with one of my siblings atleast take your shoes off and keep quiet”

——

Clarisse: *leaning on the bathroom sink watching you try to cover the hickeys she left*

You: your a fucking psycho these look like you tried sucking my soul out

Clarisse: yeah but you love me

——

Clarisse: *making-out with you with you sitting on her waist*

Clarisse: Let’s get back together

You: fuck you

Clarisse: so yes then

——

[teamatsumu]

Can I just say how much I love you??? Okay, that sounded weird, I love your work. It's immaculate, beautiful, and I absolutely love it. Thank you for writing, and I genuinely mean this.

Nowwwwwww.......

Can you write a Time Skip Iwaizumi x Reader where he just, like, loves your ass? Like he can't stop squeezing it and fucking you from behind? If you can't, that's okay, and if you can, I appreciate it.

Have a good day!!

a/n: first off, thank you sooooo much! you’re so sweet xx and not weird at all! your ask made my day. im sorry if this is a bit late :(

worship. (iwaizumi hajime x reader)

word count: 689

warnings: fem!reader, body worship, a lot of detail about asses lmfao, smut

Iwaizumi Hajime is a proud ass man.

He has no qualms admitting that fact. Some guys are into tits, and some guys are into asses. He appreciates a nice bottom, what’s the big deal? It’s not like he is excessively enthusiastic about it- until he meets you.

There’s just something about you. While he connects with you emotionally almost instantly, he is also hyper aware of how physically attractive he finds you. Every curve and dip of your figure is something he hungrily runs his eyes over, but none more so than your perfectly shaped ass.

Iwaizumi Hajime is not a dramatic person, but he swears he could sing hymns about your voluptuous butt. He can’t help himself when his gaze strays straight down to it when you walk into a room. He especially loves it in jeans or yoga pants, where the cloth hugs it so fucking perfectly. And when you two start dating, he is gifted with the sight of them in your silk sleeping shorts. All bets are off then. No power in the universe could stop him from reaching for you, feeling the soft silk and warm flesh give way under his hand as he squeezes it appreciatively. Your surprised yelp is merely a bonus.

When Iwaizumi fucks you for the first time, he has to physically hold back.

He takes you from behind, mind foggy and overcome with arousal, nearly going cross eyed at the sight of your ass bouncing on his cock. He has to slow down or he knows he will come embarrassingly quick, and he has to hold back from smacking your ass black and blue because it looks so delicious, so juicy. God, he needs to bite into it, but fuck, that would definitely freak you out.

Over the months, Iwaizumi realizes there is very little that could freak you out, and you encourage every one of his wild fantasies regarding your ass. In fact, you love it just as much, because when Iwaizumi has you bent over his knee, slapping the flesh over and over, your moans and tear filled eyes keep begging for more. And when he dips his fingers into your slit, it comes back so wet and shiny, it makes his own cock jump and throb.

And so Iwaizumi feels no obligation to hold back when he pounds his cock into your poor pussy, going harder and harder just to watch your ass bounce on his pelvis when it smacks into you. His grip is harsh and his smacks are even harsher, but you tighten around him so deliciously that Iwaizumi can’t help but let out a broken groan of his own. You are wrecking him, ruining him for anyone else, and he swears he can never, ever let you go. That’s the recurring thought in his brain as he empties his balls into you, pulling out to let the last few spurts coat your reddened asscheeks. And fuck, the sight might be enough to make him cum again.

Iwaizumi Hajime is nothing if not a gentleman.

He lays you down on your stomach after he’s done fucking you, shoves a pillow under your hips to tilt your ass up. He runs a warm, wet cloth over the sensitive skin, listening to how your breath hitches at the feeling. He bought a nice, flowery scented lotion as well, which he rubs in his palms to heat up, and then massages into your asscheeks, movements slow but firm, soothing the angry skin. You hum in approval at the action, and his lips twitch up into a smile.

Sometimes he thinks this aftercare is for him more than it is for you, because he is really taking his time to truly worship your ass, letting the smooth glide of the lotion move his hands, squeezing and rubbing at just the right places, every part of it getting attention. He bends forward to brush his lips over it too, tiny kisses that have you giggling under him. And if he playfully bites at it a bit, he knows you don’t mind.

He is the luckiest man in the world.

[pestorik]

whats up, im asking you about platonic cayrid

omg anon what a pleasant surprise thank you for asking! i was not expecting this at all!

im very much in love with the idea of cater and riddle having a tragic mother-daughter relationship. yes i know cater is only one year older thats not the POINT. WE ARE CALLING THIS THE CAYRID AFTERSUN DYNAMIC (this is not about my au btw it's my delusional thoughts about twst canon)

cater having mental health issues but riddle ALSO having mental health issues and cater establishing himself as someone to talk to who understands what riddle is going through. riddle finding so much comfort in cater but also KNOWING that cater has his own issues, wishing he would rely on riddle the way riddle does cater but also still being unable to fully overcome and even understand his own trauma. he can't help cater the way he wishes he could, not when he himself is still so damaged and barely able to deal with his own shit. cater will help him through it all but but riddle isn't big enough or strong enough to do the same for cater, no matter how much he wants to.

cater wants more than anything for riddle to be happy. he sees so much of himself in him but cant stand the idea of making riddle the same as him. he will listen to and comfort riddle endlessly and never talk about his own issues bc he is a parent. he wont rely on riddle like that bc that's not what a parent does to a child, that's not a burden you want a child to feel. there are things you can't share with them. he wears a mask for riddle but it's a mask made from genuine love.

they both want nothing but happiness for each other. cater will do everything in his power to give that to riddle. but riddle cant do the same, cater is unreachable to him. they are equal but they are not the same. it's not something they can change, it's just the way of the world. adults need other adults, and that's all riddle can hope for. that someone else will save cater, because he knows he can't.

(this is all rather dramatic sounding but hopefully im getting the idea across. this makes it seem like they are breaking down crying and shouting into the night for each other but it's more just a lot of sad quiet glances and the feeling of being helpless. go watch aftersun.

this is obviously not exclusive to moms and daughters, but ive always felt there is just an inherent loneliness to being a daughter, knowing your mother is suffering but being unable to help her because you are just a child. everyone says you are just like her, and it's true. but there's always the feeling, and the fact, that no matter how much you love your mother you will never truly know her like she knows you.)

[darkcrowprincess]

Byler being dramatic idiots:

Mike twirling Will around, Will laughs: I'm telling you Will senior year is going to be great! It's going to be our year!

Will laughs: Your really think so?

Mike with the biggest smile in the world, stares into Wills eyes: I know so! No more upside down, no more gates, no more crazy governments or monsters! It will be smooth sailing from here on out.

As if to jinx them, Mr Clarke comes up behind the two boys: Oh, Mr. Byers (both Will and Mike stop to turn to him, Mike quickly putting Will back on his feet embarrassed), your interview with the New York Academy of the Arts has been rescheduled from three to three-thirty.

Mike shocked turns to Will as Mr Clarke leaves: New York? What’s that about?

Will blushes and turns away from Mike.

Mike confused: Will?

Will nervous but trying to fake being calm, turns to put his books in his locker: Oh, it’s just a silly interview, it’s nothing, not a big deal. These people in New York saw some of my artwork and liked it.

Mike is at first, so happy for Will/proud of him it shows on his face. He looks like he wants to kiss him to congratulation him. But his happy look changes, turns quickly to sadness as he has an unfortunate realization.

Mike's famous Mike grumpy temper slowly showing: Will Byers, when we were little kids, you promised me that we’d go to the same college together.

Will nervous and blushing: Oh I did say that? Didn't I?

Mike angry now: Yes! And you also told me that if I graduated high school, you’d take me to Las Vegas.

Will has been secretly trying to rip the bandage off because he doesn't think Mike loves him back: Right, Vegas. We were going to get El to help us cheat at gambling. I know, I didn't forget.

Will tries to nervously leave, but Mike firmly, but gently grabs Will's shoulder and turns him back around to face him.

Mike secretly hurt, but hides it with anger: Im happy you got the interview Will. Believe me I am! You deserve it. But you know I could never get into an art school. Especially one in New York! What's the deal Will?

Will showing his sad anime eyes: Well, New York is one of the many places I'm applying for schools Mike . I’m also applying to California and San Francisco. You know I need to leave this town Mike. I can't stay here.

Mike gasps theatrically, bringing his hand to his heart.

Mike being a drama queen: California and San Francisco? We never discussed those!

Will now being sassy and giving back at Mike, hands on his hips: Well, it doesn’t have to be California or San Francisco, Michael, it can be any places from your list. What’s on your list?

Mike really upset now, throws his hands in the air: You wanna know what’s on my list? Number one I don’t need a list, because my best friend, that I've know since we were 5! Wouldn’t apply to any schools I couldn’t get into!

Will worried and guilty: Your list makes me feel guilty.

Mike: Good!

Mike turns angrily, opening his locker.

Will: Mike, it's, you know, it’s early, I have no idea what my plans are. Nothing is definite.

Mike slams his locker shut.

Mike sounding like an angry house wife now: Oooooh. Interesting. YOUR plans. Not OUR plans. Hmmph. That's really great Will!

Mike crosses his arms over his chest, pressing his lips together. Will gets distracted by them. He stares at them.

Mike is too angry to notice.

Will shakes his head, and gets grumpy now too: Don’t you take that tone with me, Micheal Wheeler.

Mike turning his back to Will: I’m not taking any tone. If you want to go to college in New York, then go. It's perfectly fine! GREAT even! In fact, go now. Give you plenty of times to start making your new artsy college friends.

Mike walks away in a huff, nose in the air.

Will realizes he messed up follows: Wait Mike! Mike! Mike come back!

Mike not listening: I'm sure New York will love to have you Will! As I said you definitely deserve it! Send me a postcard!

Will: Your being dramatic!

Mike still walking away all dramatic: Well I'm sure you'll find less dramatic artsy friends in New York!

Will rolls his eyes: You are being ridiculous!

Will follows Mike out the door of the school. Both of them unaware how they sound like a married couple or how Lucas, Dustin, Max are walking behind them listening and staring at them.

Max: they're both idiots.

Lucas agreeing with Max: Yeah.

[saintetheldreda]

so i used to say vide noir was my favourite lord huron album because it is the most atmospheric of their albums and this is obviously a big part of it because vide noir is atmospheric as shit but honestly now i think it is less vide noir’s atmosphere and more its brilliant and uniquely insane batshit intensity that makes it such a special part of the lord huron discography.

can you imagine if you were listening to lonesome dreams and you heard a lyric like “cosmic ash and blackened brain i call you by your ancient names” youd have a heart attack lord huron have always been very emotionally intense but the way they took their gentle folk inspired melancholic beautiful cowboy sounds of love and heartbreak and strange happenings and turned it up to the raging neon scream into the darkness that is vide noir is quite possibly the most iconic thing any band has ever done. i know we have setting sun in lonesome dreams and that song is gorgeous and intense but it is just not the same kind of intense. you get your heart broken in strange trails and its “i dont know what to do haunted by the ghost of you” and how do i break the curse you left on me and runes on my skin and shit thats bad gang but you get your heart broken in vide noir and your soul gets hurled to the edge of the cosmos then plummets back into the ocean through a fucking hole in the fucking sky what the FUCK guys what the FUCK. i love playing vide noir all the time because this is my favourite framework through which to view my lived experience everything is so heightened and bright and loud and dramatic and imagining the world around you that way is just so magical. we start vide noir with “if i don’t find her i’m gonna tie that noose” we are promised a depth of love that stops at nothing and is no holds barred and bloody and raw and god does the album deliver on that promise every fucking second that follows. its the feeling of following your heart through its deepest darkest most twisted strange and unfamiliar paths without having any idea where its going, just to know what it has in store for you, because thats how committed you are to following it. there is no equivalent. sorry to say something a little sacreligous but vide noir makes the world ender look like skipping in the park like the world ender is pretty metal when the world ender comes baby run for your life and whatever but in vide noir we are trying to outrun the fucking pure black void im sorry but thats horrifying.

going from the ethereal, dreamy vision of the unknown in the yawning grave and frozen pines to vide’s something escaped when you opened the gate and now the unknown is everywhere and we’re drowning in it is just. its everything. this is not to disrespect the world ender or strange trails or any of the other songs and albums because the day i take any of that for granted i will cease to exist (esp the world ender that song owns my entire heart and soul). all of the albums and songs have something so unique to them and special about them which makes them completely irreplaceable. i only aim to argue that in the realm of intensity and insanity, vide noir is king. i am also intense and insane and i am its subject. hence irresistible fave

[g0dtier]

the list that makes me and @dentist-brainsurgeon mortal enemies from now on i guess

extremely lengthy explanations under the cut:

i actually think the S+A tier speak for themselves?

S tier: the goats. im aware its full of third versions but they just happen to be extremely good and added some insane shit to already solid base games (ok diamond and pearl werent solid but the foundation was there). replayability is insane for these.

A tier: the Oh Fuck Yeah games. not in any particular order actually. hgss is absolutely the best remake of all, only held back by the few inherent flaws of the Johto region and by not emulating Crystal enough. as much as i like bw, reverting back to only one region of pokemon never sat right by me, but it's been a while since ive played it, and nowadays i make much more of an effort to try out all new mons. so i could change my mind on this.

i liked usum more than sun/moon, if only for the post game. replayability isnt as high because of the cutscenes every 3 steps, and rotom dex is annoying as shit. aside from that, insanely solid story & postgame imo. red/blue and gold/silver are brimming with weird places in their regions and are chock full of in game lore and legends, which i really like. the ruins of alph & pokemon tower are some of the best locations theyve ever made imo

B tier is the "good but couldve been better" tier. lets go is insane for shiny hunting, but it stops at that imo. the new rival is garbo. sun and moon are good, but the postgame + alola in general is just lacking enough in these games that they dont reach A tier for me. loveeed the island challenges tho. alola itself has just such a good vibe. you really feel like its about community rather than competition. legends arceus couldve been insanely good, but i have never felt as ripped out of a pokemon game as i did when i walked through that cave in the coronet region and started seeing stray pixels around my character. which wasnt a one time thing btw this happens to anyones game & every time as far as ive seen. its gonna sound dramatic but this combined with other graphics glitches made it so clear i was playing a game that it just took me out of the adventure entirely. this is where the graphics glitches really started, and they havent stopped since.

C tier: yellow is just kinda there? i dont care for starter pikachu. i want to, but it gets killed when breathed at, so. idk. the gimmick doesnt work that well for me. sword and shield introduced some insane mons that i love and i want to call it solid real bad, but the story was hot garbage even for pokemon standards, and while the wild area was a great idea, the execution was lacking & because what i assume is a time crunch, the towns were boring as shit as well. diamond & pearl are mediocre to bad, with a great story and mediocre to bad execution, and i shouldve put oras in the :( tier, but the postgame is worth it.

actually im gonna rant about oras. i was so hyped for it but, just, ugh. if youre gonna turn a 2d vague not-specified-what-a-character-is-doing-or-feeling player character to 3d, at least do it correctly. 2d sprites where someone can fill in the blanks not seen on screen but hinted at in text (ie expressions, actions like handing someone something) work infinitely better than 3d sprites who show it badly. also still suffers from the desaturation curse that the 3ds games suffer from. postgame was dope, though. shame the mega latis are ugly as shit.

:( tier: garbage, im so sorry. SV's only redeeming factor is the area zero story. there is nothing else in the game that held my attention. fuck the star team, fuck the big pokemon quests, fuck the towns where you cant talk to anyone or find anything interesting or walk into a house and where every shop looks the game. fuck stores not even having an interior anymore. fuck this larger but emptier and stripped down world full of graphical glitches. fuck the weak ass gyms, fuck geeta, and fuck terrastalizing most of all. i will die for Koraidon & the professor fight fucking ruled but that's all the game had to it for me. do any of yall remember the gym leaders besides like, iono and the snowboard man? no you dont, stop lying to me. gen I put more life into lavender town by making a npc reference some ghost hand on your shoulder than SV does for any town, and they only had black and white 32mb cartridges or whatever to work with. for fucking shame gamefreak. give your devs some time to make a halfway functioning game.

firered and leafgreen do nothing new. i will not discuss the sevii islands. what the fuck even was that. boring. same with brilliant diamond and shining pearl. theyre lower than diamond and pearl because why the fuck did they not decide to remake platinum. what the hell was their damage. seriously platinum was RIGHT there. i caught a full odds shiny ghastly in that game and i still dont care about it.

X&Y suffers from. everything.

[quietbluejay]

Ashes of Prospero 1

I'm not going to reiterate my sample commentary, it's somewhere around my blog

this is the one where we got a nice description of the space wolf home base and it's very aesthetically pleasing sounding

HES GOT A PET RAVEN NAMED NIGHTWING I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

a cyborg pet raven

you know i think Thorpe is just really into setting descriptions he did the same thing in Ghost Warrior

anyways this is very cool SKELETON THRONE oops Njal: i am going to MEDITATE Njal's body: lol nope you are going to SLEEP in the bone throne psychic vision time

this is fun

yeah i've talked about it before but i do love how the death of prospero haunts the narrative

so that's the inciting incident compassion? curiosity?

to quote my friend that's what we like to see in anime!!!!

once again njal 🤝 khayon not getting enough sleep

big mood

lmao njal: just because i'm a space wolf doesn't mean im stupid

HAHAHAHAHA

Here we goooo pear wiggler time

lmao, it sure is, in more ways than one njal, laughing meanly: lmao, all is dust

im really hoping they come up with konrad-tier insults

Njal got off lucky that it was Izzakar and not a daemon that got in, and he knows it

RIP

OOO but also wow is he short tempered

Ulrik: GET OUT Njal realizes with his psychic powers that there's nothing he can say that will help, and sulks off

and we've hit Arjac aka Mr. "Why not female space marines, that Cawl weirdo has done weirder"

Njal dramatically stalks through the Fang with a literal dark cloud around him from his emotions lmao Izzakar needles him about being volatile

so they really are basically frozen as teenagers huh

njal: anyways i gotta be honest with myself. i want someone else to make a decision for me

me when i ask the internet to help me pick what book to read next

i am genuinely unsure if Njal is meant to come off as immature through this whole sequence or not im still liking it though nature is healing my crops are watered my chronic pain is lessened

njal, diplomatically: he can hear you

oh! im gonna meet bjorn! again, i guess but first time as a dreadnought

owo

oh, i've heard of this guy i sense Shenanigans

he's got some friends along to help lmao Logan: aren't these guys supposed to be somewhere else?? Lukas: yeah okay so i borrowed them Lukas: either I go on this wacky roadtrip with Njal or I come with you Njal: it's not a wacky roadtrip!!! it's a quest!!! Logan reels back in horror at the thought Logan: you know what Njal, you need every warrior you can get

ah to be a librarian and be able to use your psychic powers to threaten your obnoxious coworkers

this sure is a different genre i've stepped into than all the other 40k novels

lukas: i am going to get a good grade in eye language, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve lukas: PSYCH

incredible lukas: i wish i had an off button this is the space wolf that canonically has a bunch of kids somehow, this is not surprising to me

arjac's coming too huh to basically play commissar ah Lukas is running around in the snow naked talking to wolves drinking their blood as you do

this is going to be interesting

what shenanigans will now ensue...

oh boy there's a 16 year old navigator oh Bjorn is coming after all

uhhhh izzakar dude how do YOU know about that

so mean :(

ah yes

can you guys get some new arguments here, I've read this one like 6x already

to be continued!

[stormyoceans]

despite my great love for P'X, I still think that he invited OhmNanon to the roles of TunTess for nothing. even though P'X said he wanted to work with OhmNanon, let's admit that he did a disservice, which caused Jimmy and Sea to get a barrage of dirt. after all, many were waiting for the appearance of OhmNanon and did not want to look at JimmySea. to be honest, neither Ohm nor Nanon demonstrated dramatic talent in their 10 minutes of screen time, in which they appeared in this series. P'X could take any actors for these roles, perhaps even unpopular ones, so that everyone could focus on the story of Puen and Talay and not wait for OhmNanon to appear in the frame.

not to mention why it was impossible to make the same neat and unobtrusive advertising in vvs as in our sky … (despite the fact that I like nomnom choco pie and the mirroring game in ep8)

IM AFRAID YOU'RE OPENING A VERY BIG CAN OF WORMS HERE ANON

i do personally agree that having ohmnanon in vice versa ended up doing more harm than good, both to jimmysea and the show itself, but im aware im not the most unbiased and objective person to talk about this, and i do believe that sometimes it's just a matter of things resonating with people in different ways (i lost count of how many popular BLs i feel indifferent about)

i also don't mean to defend p'x but i do feel like a lot of times people give directors way more decision making power than they actually have, at least on certain things. sure, the director is the one in charge of casting the actors, but we shouldn't forget that the final word always belongs to the producers and/or the company funding the project. it's like when i went on MDL to read some comments (NEVER DO THAT FRIENDS) about moonlight chicken and saw so many people bashing p'aof because earth doesn't look like he's in his 40s and he should have casted an age appropriate actor for it, meanwhile i was sitting there like do you guys really think that even if p'aof wanted to cast an actual 40 years old actor to play jim's role GMMTV would have allowed that. when their most popular pair of actors is currently made up of two eighteen years old boys. in a society that likes to tell us that if you're 26 you're already too old. DO YOU

......but i digress. the point is, im not saying p'x didn't have any part in choosing ohm and nanon, maybe he really just wanted to work with them and that's it, but i also think it's possible that GMMTV tried to push ohmnanon on vice versa because from their point of view jimmysea was a big gamble as a pair and they didn't trust them to pull enough numbers by themselves

ANYWAY. im starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist so this is probably my cue to shut up sfjksgfj but i do agree with you anon, and while i do prefer to focus on positive things i can see that vice versa and jimmysea haven't always been treated in the best way

[itsdappleagain]

CS WEEKLY: The Hot Rocks of Rio Caper Part 2!

HERE WE GO PART TWO BABY!!! START OF THE DADOWSAN ERA!!!

Le chevre looks so confused im crying

I LOVE THE RAGE ON HER FACE if this betrayal was real she would have GONE AFTER his ass

The operatives there have never heard shadowsan talk so much lmaooo

It would be such a good moment if carmen didn’t say falsehoods pls it sounds so unnatural

Shadowsan just powering through because carmen CANNOT take a hint im crying

Also MOSCOW IM CRYINGGGG i like how he was like ah yes. The only thing unbelievable about that is that coach brunt has never been there. Carmen being russian is otherwise totally plausible

The confusion on carmen’s face she looks so hopeless for a second :(((

PLS SHE BLINKS ONCE AND ALLL NEGATIVE EMOTION JUST VANISHES SHE GOES SO SOFT

The awkward threat im sobbing she’s so bad at acting on the spot ig

Tigress he is carrying a full grown woman WHY would you expect him to high 5 you

Also YEAH HE CARRIES HER LIKE A SHEEP

Carmen just making faces at him 

POOR LE CHEVRE JGSGTFHJ

Also uhhhhh carmens shoulders did a full rotation because her hands were tied behind her back before and now they are in front what happened there

CARMEN AND SHADOWSAN BICKERING IS SO FUNNY 

AND DO. YOU. MIND IM CRYING THEY HAVE SUCH A GOOD DYNAMIC FOR THESE COUPLE EPISODES they’re still figuring everything out

Shadow-san is used to an unruly sixteen year old he can boss around but now she’s just an unruly 20 something year old who he CANNOT boss around

Love how maelstrom doesn’t question le chevre tied up on the floor he’s like damn none of my business

She looked like she was about to ugly cry  The face in question:

Oh nvm they cant see le chevre my bad

PLS MAELSTROM JUST GOING omfg and putting his head in his hands is so funny

CARMEN STILL TRYING TO ARGUE WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE HAS LIKE 20 YEARS OF GRIEVANCES SHE NEVER GOT TO ARGUE WITH HIM ABOUT 

Pls carmen is unsufferable about it i love her

SHADOW-SAN JUST BLANK FACED SLAMMING THE TRAPDOOR BEHIND HER AS SHE GETS HER CLOTHES I NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE

Player is literally the smartest one here

MMMMMM OKAY THIS IS A FANTASTIC CHASE SEQUENCE there’s almost no dialogue so it gives everyone’s personalities time to shine in just how they RUN (and like. jump). I don’t have access to wifi rn but there’s a really good post analyzing how carmen/shadowsan/le chevre climp the same wall and how it showcases their personality/style read it if you can!!

edit: this one

The bus <3

Also i love carmen and shadowsan kinda just being buddies sometimes. Giving each other looks and smirks and shadow-san smiling when carmen half introduces him to player as an old friend

Mm the little tiny hints and clues as to shadowsan and carmen’s real history even this early in the season. Good shit

The dramatic zoom out revealing that the cleaners are cleaning up brunt’s temper tantrum wheeze

I ALSO really like carmen sort of being desperate to prove herself to shadow-san. Giving big wide smiles when something works her way, butting heads with him on method, trying to one-up his plans and ultimately having worse ones because he still has like 25 years of experience on her

HAHSHJDG did shadowsan even know they were working with carmen or did he just kidnap two random bozos and show them to carmen like

I wonder if they just pressed a rag up to abby trott’s mouth and told her to scream into the microphone JHDGD

WAIT WHERE DID THE ROPES GO

Zack sticks his tongue out for a split second jhdfgshfkhsd

Carmen having angry rants about shadow-san to her crew is so funny sahjdghsda

Zack was CHEATED he and shadow-san could have had such a fun dynamic but shadow-san HATES FUN

“Why would our perpetrator so oppenly flaunt her p" ZARI SHE’S DONE NOTHING BUT OPENLY FLAUNT HER POSITIONS????

ALSO JULIA IN TH ACME SUIT REVEAL SHE’S SO CUTE

Man she whipped her head around so fast that her glasses slid all the way down her nose

Julia is just like “don’t fucking trust devineaux zari literally he sucks so bad”

CHIEF DID DEVINEAUX….i was gonna say dirty but honestly accurate

Wasn’t there a month when it was super popular to simp over the supervisor guy

puts this here

MMMM NO

The music SLAPS

“MORE CHILDREN” he’s so funny

She’s hiding how disappointed she is that shadow-san didn’t acknowledge her “belly of the beast” line sobs

QUACK QUACK

YEHEAHHH INFODUMP SECTION once again blown away by how this show is able to make anything child friendly they’re talking about LITERAL D-DAY AND WORLD WAR TWO WITHOUT MENTIONING…ANYTHING. NO NAZIS NO NOTHING JUST DUCK BOATS

If it quacks like a duck and floats like a duck THEN ITS A WITCH A WIIITCH A WITCH

But yeah anyway there again is carmen looking to shadow-san for approval about it heheh

That poor child is going to see some shit

NOT THE HORRIFYING GREEN DRAGON FLOAT THEY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN ANY LESS SUBTLE ABOUT THAT

“Its a beast” okay how about uhhh TIGRESS LE CHEVRE AND EL TOPO ARE STANDING ON IT

VILE trying to run those random people over is SO FUNNY

Also i feel like vile could have made that plan way easier. Like doing the float and duck boat could not have been easier than just smuggling them to the beach like. Normally

Him <333 when he has no further doubts about murdering shadow-san <333

WHAT IN THE HELL IS SHADOW-SAN CLIMBING ON THE GROOVES IN THE PAPER-MACHE BRICKS??

CARMEN WRECKING EVERYTHING AGAINKWHSFHGDFH

I love them bickering its so funny theyre just like. God yeah okay we’ll argue later but first lets kick some ass

Tigress eternal catgirl

MAN I DONT CARE IF THAT WAS FAKE ARMOR THAT HAD TO HURT SO BAD

“HAHA! “ “HOHO!”

“Teacher’s pet” okay ‘bossanova’

Fantastic fight scenes as always

Nah its just some random sinister unmarked green boat

HSDGDHGD YEAH GO SHADOWSAN

(mufasa voice) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEY ARE  S O P P I N G

Legend has it shadow-san eyebrow is still going up

The grudging admiration as shadow-san gets engulfed by a giant duck

BRUNT RAGING IN THE BACKGROUND AS MAELSTROM CONTINUES BEING SILENTLY DISAPPOINTED IS THE BEST GAG IN THE SHOW

Or how about THE ONLY FLOAT IN RIO THAT CAN GO ON WATER

IVY AND ZACK DANCING IN THE DUCK COSTUMES ARE SO CUTE

Shadow-san youre going to end up adopting those children

“Team carmen” oh no ma’am we call it team red around here. Canon means nothing to us

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SEEING THOSE GIANT SPARKLY PURPLE GEMSTONE AND GOING “uhhh its a rock”

Imagine waking up one day and rio has been randomly gifted HALF A BILLION DOLLARS

Carmen’s teensy tiny teacup

Lets make being at each other’s throats permanent <333

Okay so Ivy’s thingie is gone, so we have two options here. One, zack stole ivy’s thingie and threw it, then blamed it on her (doesn’t he like shadowsan?). TWO, IVY THREW IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T LIKE SHADOWSAN AND THEN SHE BLAMED IT ON ZACK which i think is the more likely and MUCh funnier option (also zack was TOTALLLY TATTLING ON HER)

“My crew my rules” only takes one arrest to turn into “MY CIRCUS MY MONKEYS”

God shadowsan and carmen have a fantastic dynamic together

Psh again with carmen never. Saying thank you or acknowledging anything ever. She got her emotional wasteland from shadowsan SAD /j

UGH you can SEE the conflict on his face- whether or not to tell her the truth. Its all just half truths but he’s SCARED

Carmen unknowingly leaning in and then checking herself…

Zari powerwalking across the street while julia is just like GIRL I CANT SEE

“Agent zari we keep making out in my dreams i know her face REAl well”

I like julia’s tiny hesitation. Zari is the senior agent, so she lets her lead across the street. But she also doesn’t jump at the chance to go. She takes a second, but knows what her job is

Also NINE LANES OF TRAFFIC agent zari KILLS it at crossy road

I love carmen’s look to the agents versus shadowsan’s. Carmen’s little smirk versus shadowsan’s disdain- shows the difference in perception between them

Gone With the Bus

Also julia’s gasp versus zari’s AUGH

I like how zari had to use the scanner to confirm that they were the same person like just. Look at the two pictures

People are constantly throwing evidence at julia that says carmen is working with vile and julia is constantly batting that evidence out of the air and spitting on it because she’s too gay

I mean it sort of gets to her I think. In Milan she tries to arrest Carmen but she changes her tune real fast

He’s been using that pen for. How long now

I LOVE THAT TRANSITION WITH THE PEN CLICK CUTTING TO BLACK ITS SO GOOD

Alright anyway these two episodes (hot rocks pt 1 and 2) took me my whole three and a half hour flight to analyze somehow. I guess I know why I get behind on them

ANYWAY yes so I love these two episodes. FANTASTIC setup for the rest of the episode and they introduce every major plotline that goes throughout the rest of the season beautifully. I’m so excited to see Julia in action more!!! Season 2 is my favorite season out of all of them so YEAHHH I’m so excited. Only a month left until summer and then I hopefully won’t get as behind on everything (fingers crossed)

[luveline]

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐣𝐚𝐝𝐞 —this one might be silly but I'm always asking you guys for advice so I thought it might be fun to offer the same, ask me a question about love or life or something much less dramatic and I'll tell you what I think

hey baby i need some advice however i am in fear of sounding silly. okay so i get into these obsessions, right? whether it's a tv show, music or an artist, a movie, book, or character, i am constantly raving about it. at first it was just fun and normal but now it's evolved into something else and it becomes pretty toxic. like, for example right now (and yes i am aware of how stupid i sound) it's spencer reid. and i kid you not i have screamed into my pillow and sobbed to my mother about how much i love him. he's FAKE. HES NOT REAL. so how do i get these huge feelings over people who don't even exist?? it's hard to put into words because it feels bigger than i can say, but it's becoming a problem. i have friends who are so outgoing and carefree, and they could just walk up to somebody and tell them they are interested in them. but the thought of that makes me want to bawl. and it's not even like i would have people to like anyway! i would never in a million years be interested in anybody remotely close to me. and why does it have to be me that reaches out? i want this SO bad but i think i'm just too insecure that there is no one out there that would treat me the way i want to be treated. i don't think i'm ugly, but i also don't think i'm gorgeous either. i have my moments of feeling really confident but those are brief and only ever when i'm wearing makeup. i'm just feeling like one colossal mess and i don't know how to fix it. is this normal? cause it doesn't feel normal. im a teenager but it feels like this will last forever. that was a lot im sorry, you don't have to respond i just really needed to vent 😭 however if you do read this i will take whatever you give me. i have lots of respect for you and i'll love whatever you have to say. xo 🩷

I don't relate so heavily to your interests becoming toxic to you, I don't mean to insist or assume medical diagnoses on you, so if I'm out of bounds I apologise deeply, but there's something called 'hyperfixating' that could give you some comfort or some insight into why you may be feeling this way if you wanted to have a look!

As for the rest I totally know how you feel, I think many young women can relate to feeling extremely insecure — I think it is very common (but that's not to say fair) to feel as you're feeling, like a big mess! I understand that it doesn't feel normal because it is your life and every feeling becomes all encompassing, the mess feels out of control, and you feel maybe a little alien in society and even your own body, but if you're worried that this isn't something other people are feeling I can confidently tell you that lots of people feel this way. but I'm so sorry because that's not going to make any of it better. I'm only two years (nearly three) older than you and I can tell you that this feeling has gotten better and less rampant for me as I've gotten older, I wouldn't say I was more confident but just having more control, more autonomy, and more perspective has helped me feel less like I'm going to explode into nothing constantly. Plus, there are resources to be used if you can manage it that can help you feel better, because while it is common for you to feel as you do it isn't normal per say, like. I feel like most people I know can tell you they've felt that way, but there's a huge majority of people who don't. If you're feeling like you have low self esteem, like you're never going to be loved, this isn't a totally hopeless thing in my opinion, and there are things you can do and help you can seek to help you cope with these feelings before they metastasize. You're perfectly loveable as you are, but it's okay to worry about the future so long as you dodon't start thinking it's hopeless —starkly, if you start to worry or feel that way, it could be that you're becoming depressed, which is again normal but not something you need to do alone.

I'm sorry if I sound like a freak but i wanted to give you advice that was both personal and helpful. My biggest point is that you're not alone in feeling how you feel and that you don't deserve to feel that way, because you're someone who deserves to feel confident and loved and to have a healthy relationship with love, and so that's why I'd encourage you to seek some help or just some comfort if you need it. I really hope you feel okay and you feel better soon!

[mikeyfuckinway]

auuuhhg everyday of my life im like this guy and i are so incompatible. it would never work if we were to date and tbh i do not want to date him traditionally however i am deeply charmed by him and think hes one of the funniest loveliest and most interesting people on this planet earth i WANTED to listen to him talk about the beatles for an hour over lunch and he made me a beatles playlist after i made him a they might be giants playlist and hes so wonderful and i want him to be like. my best friend forever like i want him to be my guy like hes not my bestest estest friend someone else occupies that position and they always will its like that thing where u know someone for so long and your relationship has gone through so many weird phases that nothing is ever going to make you not want to be friends with them anymore like theyre my ultimate person who i will know and love forever. but like i want this other guy to be one of MY guys and. you know what i dont think i have a crush on him anymore. my friends and i were talking about love languages and i am severely physically affectionate and he is a germophobe he has ocd but like thats one of the things i like abt him bc he has things like i do like ticks and habits and we both habitually chew our nails and we are so similar but at the same time we are both so different and hes also really really straight and cis so like i dont think itd ever truly work but anyways we were talking abt love languages and hes like a big quality time guy and im very like i wanna do my things like i love you but if youre doing something im uninterested in i dont want to do it. like i have done things that i wouldnt otherwise do bc he was doing them but like it wasnt a "i dont want to do this" to a "i want to do this bc hes going to be there" it was more of a "im indifferent to this but it sounds fun im just not specifically interested" to a "i specifically would like to do this now bc it sounds fun and also he is going to be there" idk its still a thing where like. im just not a specifically quality time kind of person but since im a physical affection kind of person it can kind of come with it but i dunno oh well oh well. either way i dont think we would fulfill what the other wants out of a relationship idk maybe i would for him mostly but i dont think he would for me. unless our understanding of each other changes dramatically and he spends like a month and a half reading queer theory. then like maybe but still. my biggest problem is i need someone who will understand me and understand why i am the way i am genderwise and the thing is. the people who fully understand the way i am will also probably identify like me bc my identity is a product of my understanding of gender and society and that shit, not the other way around. i identify the way i do mostly bc of how my ideas about that shit have changed and the reading ive done about it. and like also the autism but he kind of has that too like not totally the same but like i said we have like some of the same little things but when it comes to like our ideas of ourselves i think we are very different i also have severely pathologized myself from a young age and also i hated my mom and wanted to kill myself and as far as im aware he was much more well adjusted as a child but i guess i dont really know. hm. but i met his parents when they came for family weekend and also he was like surprised when i said my family doesnt eat dinner together very often so they seem pretty like normal midwest american family and didnt seem like they had many familial issues like my household did which honestly is the least big deal thing to me. like if it was just that id be like whatever that doesnt matter but in addition to all the stuff yknow thats just one more thing that is like very extremely different about us and how we developed as people. like honestly its mostly the queer thing. and the germophobe thing like when we were talking abt it like he did say he would probably be very bad at it in a relationship like i oh wow i hit the character limit

[crafto2007]

anyways. music time.

you (didn't) ank and you shall recive: all music i ever made with comments from yours truly.

all songs are made in JummBox 2.5, which is kinda wonky on mobile, so i suggest using a pc.

Desert area

this one was the first (really) song i ever made. it was gonna be used in an RPG i was making and that i still have not either finished nor gave up on.

Pharaon Battle

this was gonna be the battle theme for the pharaon, but i won't use it anyways because its missing several important leifmotiefs.

Village

this one was gonna be some kind of magical forest but it ended up sounding like a village. oh well.

Village Battle (old)

this is the first version of the song i kept going back to several times. later in the post is what it looks like now

Cool Battle

this just sounded good. i might make it into a real song eventually (lie)

a

this is another melody i thought i could use. i forgot about it 4 minutes later

Unnamed

this was another attempt at a magical forest, and this time it worked! also, i accidentally made it in 9/4 time and forgot to give it a name.

the

bepis

D!! but objectively better because

this was an entire transcription of Wublin Island from MSM, made out of love for the song and spite for Musescore paywalling other people's work. it took me like 3 weeks and i learned how to play poewk's part on the piano.

worki nonit

this was gonna be a custom msm island, with rock, wind, fire and "tech" (?). not even halfway done and i stopped playing my singing monsters so i think itll stay like that.

Bloppity

this is a bit later, when i started running out of names. its just me playing with key changes, nothing really important

Do Pipes Dream Of Balls?

this was another silly little expetiment, based on pipe dream from animusic.

Wake Up The NEO

y'know that one game containing monsters where you reanimate a fucked up statue in some kind of foggy basement trough questionable means? yeah. BIG SHOT and Wublin Island togheter. sounds bad, im tellin ya

Waltor White

some kind of song. it's not about breaking bad, i was just out of names.

Dramatic-Fard

what was this for again?

Village... Battle?!

a remake of the original. now with better drums, a better intro, backing voices and chords! Now i know that Drums Are Supposed To HELP KEEP THE BEAT and not do whatever was going on in cool battle

Xilophone pronounced like Persephone

silly little music. not much to say.

Micheal Jackson In My Ass

this was me proving that i would be good at music if i knew how to make chord progressions. the chords and bass are shamelessly stolen from ICZ.

satog

a "minimalist" BIG SHOT. a regular-sized shot, if you will.

Minus World

oh this one. this one is something. (also fun fact i just realized that the second chord is thechnically wrong. i think it adds to the, uhh, "vibe")

Jackson In My DRUM

yesterday night i stayed up mabye a little too late and made whatever this is.