#also im transmasc if that helps at all in terms of context

[transmutationisms]

i have a q which might be controversial and also im not entirely sure how to word, so forgive me. i dont consider “transandrophobia” to be a useful term since androphobia is obviously not a thing that exists; additionally, i know that transmisogyny is the term used for the specific oppression faced by trans women and is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. my question is - do transmasc ppl also experience oppression that is an intersection of transphobia and misogyny? i have to assume they do, at least in some ways, and so what would that be called? is that also transmisogyny? how do we define that?

ok, i get why people on here sometimes define transmisogyny just as "the intersection of transphobia and misogyny" (not just you—i have seen this phrasing a lot) but i think it's a bit oversimplified and misleading and kind of based on very distant third- and fourth-hand readings of crenshaw. one thing the term 'transmisogyny' is useful for pointing out is that transfeminine people are culturally marked specifically b/c of the directionality of their gender, ie, specifically for 'becoming' women or 'choosing' womanhood. it's this that disrupts the idea that women are a) immutably distinct from men and b) specifically distinct in that they are inferior. the cultural read of transfemininity isn't just that it transgresses the border between men and women, but that it specifically does so to claim womanhood. that's construed as inherently a threat to a logic of male supremacy.

i don't think it's that helpful to haggle over 'who experiences misogyny' and as many people have said before me, to some extent it's really a pointless question because misogyny is the root of the entire patriarchal gender system we all exist in. like yeah of course transmascs also live and operate in this context. and ofc we can be and often are misgendered and perceived as women who 'want' to be men or whatever. but what the term transmisogyny points to is the specific position of being marginalised for transfemininity: for being women & claiming womanhood. obviously this is not a guiding principle in the cultural construction of the figure of the transmasc because well, that's not the directionality of our gender transgression.

i am frankly so sceptical of the idea that transmascs 'need' a special term that somehow combines transphobia + misogyny in some different way because i think this idea belies a misunderstanding of what transmisogyny conveys and how it functions (for example, transmisogyny is very useful for picking apart the ways transfems are seen as both sexual objects and sexual deviants, & how this depends on misogyny that specifically is punishing, again, the idea of gender transgression that goes in the direction of identification & expression of womanhood—transmascs can ofc be sexualised or w/e but again this is a different cultural and discursive construction because we are not being punished for gender transgression in the direction of womanhood, but rather in the direction of 'abandoning' it for manhood, which is then still assumed superior and desirable). again i think a lot of this comes from kind of a superficial understanding of intersectionality and what that framework can achieve. transmisogyny is not just stacking transphobia + misogyny on top of one another like two different sheets of paper; transmisogyny functions in specific and describable ways and arises, again, not just from hatred of gender transgression but from the specific cultural construction & directionality of transfemininity.

[our-alterous-experience]

so i just recently discovered alterous attraction and it felt right to me. i have so far identified as panromantic demisexual, and i was just curious how you thought that fit in with my current orientation.

i know its totally individualized, i am just curious to hear someone else's thoughts on the matter, since i cant talk to the people in my life abt it right now.

Well!!!! Depends on how you feel. As you said, it’s individualized so I can throw out some interpretations !!

So I came out as pansexual as a child and always thought I was ace. I flirted with calling it panromantic but never committed. Because I’m aromantic, bc i’m aplatonic, I find it fitting to call myself panalterous. Bc while I am still aspec what’s more important than my romance or sex take or whatever is how i feel alterously. That being said, you don’t need a direct “name” to fit in conjunction with all the other labels and identity. While some people are Romantics and others feel they are that way about Platonic ideals; the same applies to being alterous. I think sunfriend is my favorite alterous term I ever heard but that’s more hyper specific terminology than helpful thing.

For me, I’m also trans, i’m also queer, i’m also aspec, im also arospec.

I don’t think it’s productive all the time to go hello im Vexerin from genderfluid butch transmasc transsexual neopronouner pansexual aplatonic aspec aceflux aromantic alterous land.

Because honestly! It’s much easier to say Hello, I’m Vexerin, I’m panalterous, I’m 20, I’m aromantic and aplatonic. (Within, the context of someone asking me what the fuck i am for the first time at least)

Which is not to say I dislike any of the identities I identify with, it has given me so much freedom to accept these many facets and factors of my life. But for strangers and people who don’t really Know everything about you or even your sexualities, I would recommend just verbalizing “the hits”. The pieces that impact you the most/ are most relevant. For me that’s a lot of my A-spec identities. For me it’s important that I tell a new online friend I’m aplatonic. Is it important for you to tell someone you’re alterous? Are you itching to tell someone?

When I first started introducing myself as alterous in new spaces there was eventually questions and sit downs and I explained my experience and point of view. With new people I was explaining myself for the first time. It was remarkable I got to set expectations in my own way in my own relationships. So the default wasn’t automatically the society standard. I mean it was but it was changed, and that changed me. I will have this conversation over and over again. Like the classic saying, you never stop coming out.

So my perspective is, what do you want to introduce yourself with? Do you want to mention you’re alterous? I think it’s okay to, I think it’s also okay not to. Or it could be something you don’t mention when first talking about your sexuality but you make sure to mention it the second time. or maybe you only mention it when it becomes relevant, you feel alterous or you remember an alterous moment and you bring it up.

There are many different ways to try to go about this. Which one is the best for you? Or rather, which would you want to try out first?

[queer-queries]

Hiii so this is less of a query more of a. Rant I guess? Just wanna get thoughts out about this, maybe get some thoughts from someone who's genderqueer and possibly anyone following this blog who may have a similar experience

So ok. Context. I'm a transmasc nonbinary turian, and I've identified as such for I think 2 years now? I'm pretty comfortable in the fact that I am those things. But uh, there's a part of me that i think is still a lil attached to the fact that I was, at some point not that long ago, a straight girl. And not like, as in before I realised I was trans, there was fully a time where I was a cis straight girl. And I think there's a part of me that's still attached to what I used to be. Which is definitely somewhat dysphoric to think, heck calling myself a girl is just Not Right At All.

So like! It's confusing. I think I'm a turigirl? But I'm just not fully sure if it's a bit of me not fully internalising being trans now, or if its genuine attachment that will stick around even after I've fully transitioned. And again, calling myself a girl is dysphoric, and so the term turigirl is a bit dysphoric? Even though. I think it somewhat fits? I also think I'm actually still a lil bit straight as well actually which is really confusing ahah. So I guess I'm a straight turigirl? Idk still sounds a lil weird on me,,,,

Sorry if this is awfully worded I did not proof read this at all, uhm, hopefully you have a lil advice? Even just. A term for turigirl that isn't turigirl would be swell. tysm you are amazing

hi friend! as someone whose dysphoria has been getting worse lately but definitely has a complicated relatioinship and history with gender, i feel like i get a bit where you're coming from! dysphoria can be arbitrary! but i know that even many multigender transmascs who are both transmasc and girls still struggle with calling themselves girls because they get dysphoria from it because even though they ARE girls, they only ever get called girls to misgender them and deny them their transmasculinity. so you are absolutely not alone in your experience as a transmasc with a connection to girlhood but still getting dysphoria from that term and the thought of it.

since im a sucker for making people happy with terms, i've gone ahead and coined a term for you! i hope it fits! and if it helps, i've personally met several turigirls who id'd as straight in a way as well! and it doesn't need to make sense to me or anyone else- if it makes sense or feels right to you, that's what matters! i hope you have a lovely day anon <33 /p

[mueritos]

hi sorry can u explain to me the d slur thing? /gen like i don’t understand why it’s bad for the person to callout a nonlesbian to say the slur -🧜🏽

To be honest Im not too keen on the current idea thay reclaiming queer slurs are only meant for specific sub groups within the community. For the most part, these slurs have been weaponized against most LGBTQIA folks regardless of their identity (because for the most part, bigots can only call us generalized slurs since they are awful at clocking us, but now not so much). This is why we get issues when it comes to reclaiming certain slurs, like the F slur. While historically used against gay men, saying that it can ONLY be reclaimed by gay men doesnt sit well with me since the slur has been used against the ENTIRE community. Same with the d slur, while it has historically been used against lesbian women, there are instances of it being used againsg other LGBTQIA folks (tho prolly not to the same extent as the f slur).

A note i want to make is that queer slurs are VERY different from racial slurs in terma of reclamation. Racial slurs and queer slurs should only be reclaimed by their specific community, but we do not see the same level of reclamation gatekeeping in racial slurs than queer slurs because if youre BIPOC, theres no doubt that you have a historical connection to those slurs. But if your queer, your specific identity shapes your experience with the world, so theres a chance you may even have been exposed ro certain words or slurs, maybe not even have any weaponized against you.

That being said, I appreciate the take of “if it has been used against you to marginalize your marginalized status, you are free to reclaim it” in the context of reclaiming queer slurs. This does not mean that reclaiming a slur means it is not part of your initial vocabulary, no, it may just mean that you recognize the power of the word that you reclaimed as now your own. Also, certain slurs have already BEEN reclaimed, and therefore it is not my place to use another word for a person who wishes to be called by it. If a lesbian wants to be called the d word and is proud of it, I will refer to them as such because I recognize the power that word brings them. Keep in mind that not all queers are young, and many elder gays use “slurs” and old terms to decribe themselves, like “transexual” or “dyke” or “transvestite”.

We also need to understand the context of these words. When we call each other these slurs when around each other as a community (and it has been established that these words are okay to use for each other), they are either reclaimed or simply words, because you could argue that many of us never saw the words as anything negative in the first place, regardless of its misuse. In this context, these words bring power and community. But if someone is weaponizing that word to target a queer persons marginalized status, then that is being used as a slur. Therefore I dont think it’s appropriate to call it out within the community unless specific parties are uncomfortable with it and we DO see it as intercommunity marginialization (like maybe a lesbian that hates gay men?? i know its weird but theres a lot of hate even within the community). And yes, it is completely valid to feel uncomfortable around certain words and their use, but have a conversation about it if you can first before trying to shut down its use in someone (unless, like mentioned before, the person is literally bigoted).

I think its more meaningful to ask why certain queer people use certain words instead of telling them to stop. We need to understand that decades ago, it didnt matter whether it came out of a butch or a gay’s mouth, what mattered is that is brought community. This language discourse is a clear indicator of the lack of queer historical knowledge within contemporary queer society. I highly encourage yall to look into notable queer activists, and if youd like to start to understand the historical power “dyke” brought to the community, search up the “Gays for Dykes” movement.

This was very brief but I hope that answerwd ur question and im open to conversation about this topic! Be aware that I only have the experience of a nonbinary gay transmasc whos a white latino and all of these factors affect my view on this. Either way, I hope it helped!

[darlington-v]

HELLO YES IS ONE OF(?) THE FELLOW TRANSMASC BEEDUO ENJOYERS, RESPONDING AFTER A MULTIDAY DELAY.

CANT BELIVE THAT HANDHOLDING SHIT.

As someone else who has (on a certain level) like, made that connection, of someone I can be very affectionate with, but am still in the gender closet with for various reasons. I can absolutely understand your impulse and the preassure... a lot of my hesitation is based around a fear of going against some kind of perceived "ground work" in that relationship. And then I get frustrated because in this relationship and others i just would not have to think so much about this and how I present myself if I had just been born a cisguy. I am also just yearning for bro friendships where I'm just perceived as a dude from the get-go, even if I end up acting ""feminin"" or some shit.

But when I think about all the relationships I've had, I wouldn't want to have "skipped over" any of them, even if I wasn't, or didn't start by presenting my truly authentic self. I can't bring myself to regret or fully resent any of those connections, even if in my heart I can't always regard them as 100% "valid" or "genuine" in the context of how I know I was/am perceived and how I present. I dunno, I hope that makes sense, and helps in some way... I guess what im trying to say is, even if I have wishes and yearnings of how things could be different, I still am happy to have had the relationships I've had.... and I know ill just keep meeting new folks and either things will work out or they wont, and that'll be ultimatly for the best...

But hughu its also kinda silly when I think about it, that some internet dudes make me confront and think about all this shit. But it also does make sense too.

I don't know its very hard to explain, feel free to just ignore all this.

yes!!!! i TOTALLY understand this!

it's really frustrating because i would love to seek out other communities and environments that may lead into relationships similar to that of like??? SAME AFFECTION????? but im afraid to put myself out ANYWHERE new because i don't want to be perceived as like... woman-lite or anything. i don't want anyone to have to rethink how they perceive me i just wanted to present in the way that i feel.

similarly to what you said, i don't want to build something on "ground-work" i know i'll have to break down and like. make the REAL ground work pretty much?

and yeah! same! i get frustrated as well because it would just be much easier to deal w/ if i was just. cis. but i don't dwell on that too much, luckily

however i still run into the same issue: (more long winded venty shit below, ur invited to me being extremely vulnerable on the internet have fun)

how can i deal with this and make this easier for myself? is it... achievable even? like! yeah! how can i simply start new relationships with this... pre-established certainty of "that is a Boy! a BONAFIDE boy!" like... not even cis but just.

i struggle with the idea that most people who aren't trans will like... not... TRULY respect my identity? like behind closed doors. which is something i know a lot of trans people struggle with and honestly that is... our own issue in regards to trust. if no one throws and red flags that they don't actually respect your identity, then you really just have to trust that they do.

it's just... honestly putting conditions on like. your trust i guess. PERSONALLY. like im putting conditions on myself such as: if i present masculine then people will respect my identity and assimilate to how i identify, even if i don't present that yet.

which... usually isn't the case? people may take longer to assimilate but if someone is going to respect you, you can usually tell. or i feel like i can.

however. i guess. i want to shortcut the assimilation? but it's unfair to me to just put myself on hold until i don't need to ask people to like. REALLY understand liek HEY. THAT PITCHY MOTHERFUCKER IS A DUDE. because it's hard. and i, in my tiny pea brain, feel like a shortcut would just already be presenting male boy man MASCULINE. however, like i said, it's unfair for me to put that on myself bc that's a LONG time to wait!! that's coming out, getting a new wardrobe, and ALSO getting HRT!! that doesn't just happen in one day.

i explained to some friends that like. sometimes i wish i could just present a certain way and then no one could really ever know me intimately.

and it's definitely not that im... ASHAMED of being trans!! it's very nice and cool! however i feel sad that like... we're still adjusting as a society in terms of like... gender i guess? like... i do not want to be seen as woman-lite by anyone. in any degree. and sometimes you need a deeper understanding of gender to get past like... the weird like. ok he's... he's boy but like kinda not boy??

IT'S JUST. MMM. BEING PERCEIVED AND NOT INTERPRETTED CORRECTLY IS VERY TERRIFYING AND I HATE IT AND UR RIGHT BEING CIS WOULD BE EASIER, I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT TO BE CIS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO EMULATE CISNESS WHILST REMAINING QUEER WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE.

however same!!! the relationships i have now i love and i care very deeply about and i feel that like... even though they've known me before i was like "ok masc and he/they" and shit like that, i do feel like they understand like

*points* boy!!

however when it comes to strangers it's so... scary. and like IDK. ITS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE. AND IT'S WHY I WANT TO LIKE? EXPLORE THE COMMUNITY FOR OLDER TRANS PEOPLE. LIKE HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS???? how can you just BE OKAY when like... introducing yourself to strangers.

how can you just let... strangers in?

which is also *THROWS THINGS* THE WORST PART!!! I WANT TO BE A CONTENT CREATOR BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT!!!! I WANT MY VIEWERS TO GO BOY BOY BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE I HAVE NO FORM OF PRESENTATION BESIDE A PERSONA AND A VOICE AND MY VOICE IS PITCHY!!! ITS SO HIGH AND PITCHY!!!

and it's frustrating!! because i don't want an audience who doesn't like understand BOY!!! NOT WOMAN-LITE!!!!!!! NOT WOMAN GOING THRU PHASE!!!!!

BOYYYYY!!!!!

TLDR;

being trans is hard and i just don't want to be seen as woman-lite. i want to bee seen as like cis boy but trans. like i think i'd take more kindly to someone being like "omg i didn't even know you were trans!" to like someone infantilizing me and calling me a sweet little boy bean. and thats a lot easier between close friends! even though they have heard my voice and they've listened to me talk about being trans! they understand. and strangers?? have the potential to not. like they might? but what if they dont... and that's. Scary.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

Get to know me tag!

I was tagged by @hannahs-creations in the original post!!! Thank you, Hannah! sorry im a bit late with it haha

Rules: Answer the questions and tag a few people!

I got a bit long-winded on these answers, so I’ll put them behind a readmore!

1. What made you decide to start writing or arting (assuming you write or do art)?

I can’t say I ever consciously decided to start writing - I’ve just always loved reading, and when I first got a school assignment for a creative story, I decided I never wanted to stop!

In terms of art, though, it was sparked by a similar thing: the Dragonology book. My first story was about a dragon in there, and part of that assignment was to make illustrations to accompany it, and I decided I needed to learn how to draw dragons. From there, I just fell in love with making a blank page into something I could look at and enjoy, and I’ve been drawing ever since!

2. What do you like to do more: photo editing or video editing?

Oh, this is a hard one... Video editing is fun for me, especially because, when I make videos, I tend to do speedpaints with commentary, and cutting my ramblings down to a manageable size is so satisfying. On the other hand, I like taking fairly mundane pictures and making them magical...

I’d say, for satisfaction levels, video editing wins. For the actual process, I think photo editing is my favorite!

3. Which do you prefer: YouTube or TikTok?

YouTube, 100%. The only TikToks I’ve ever seen have been sent to me by friends, and I don’t particularly like short videos like that? If it were Vine, though, Vine would win ;aslkdjf

4. How many books have you read in the last 5 years?

A lot, LOL

My favorite have been Six of Crows, The Stormlight Archive, Red rising, and The Fallen Empire!

5. Do you tend to post more cheery/cutesy things, silly things or more serious things to your blog?

I think silly things are the most common? I like to meme with my WIPs, since I just. love meme culture. And I like making jokes about things - it’s a quick and easy way to get myself to smile!

6. How long have you been on Tumblr? Just ramble for a minute about some changes you’ve noticed about the site.

I made my first Tumblr blog in 2013, and I kept that one up until about April of last year, I think, before I decided to remake. 

The biggest change I’ve seen is the shift from sharing things to consuming things, in terms of like, reblog to like ratios and whatnot. Also, the amount of discourse has stayed about the same, but it’s changed in subject for the most part. But fandom discourse is still pretty much the same, just with different shows, now.

Also, reaction gifs have faded out of use pretty heavily since I started. At least, in the areas I’ve been in.

7. If the staff of tumblr came up to you, genuinely wanting advice on how to improve the site, what advice/request(s) would you give them?

I would tell them to rename likes into bookmarks. Also, lift the nsfw ban, and make it so that in order for 18+ blogs to be viewed, the user has to be 18+. Yes, people lie about their age, but so many sex workers lost their audiences and sources of income because of it, and it legitimately threw away a third of the userbase in one hit. 

Also, no matter the pressures from other social sites, don’t make this site less anonymous. It’s one of the beauties of Tumblr - I’m never going to have a boss find my blog and know for sure that it’s me.

8. What was the most challenging thing about starting your favorite hobby? How did you get past it, if you ever did?

Well, at the time I started drawing, the biggest obstacle was finding a way to learn. The art classes in school were never trying to teach us how to draw something, just showing us that we could. I ended up getting “How to draw manga” books and looking up stuff on YouTube.

9. What do you think other people think of when they think of you? For instance, with me, most people think about either tomatoes, chinchillas or black cats, depending on the person and how long they’ve known me.

Well, I hope they think of my jokes, first of all a;lskdjf;aslkdfj

But in terms of like, objects or animals? Sketchbooks, pride flags, and dinosaurs.

10. If every animal except one specific species went extinct but you got to pick which one didn’t go extinct, which species would you pick?

Hmmmmmmm... probably Komodo Dragons. I really like big lizards :)

11. What do YOU feel makes the world go round?

Laughter! Or, really, anything that makes people smile!

12. What would you say to a person if you heard them talking shit about your best friend?

This has actually happened before, and they were saying it to my face without knowing we were best friends. I sat there, nodded along, and when they were done, just said “You know they’ve been my best friend for like, 7 years, right?”

They went so pale it was kind of funny.

13. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you that has stuck with you?

This was more something they did, but when I was going through a nasty friend break up, I texted them, and within 5 minutes they were at my house, texting that person furiously, and letting me cry on them, even though they’re not a very emotional person themself ;-; I felt so loved in that moment, you have no idea.

14. What was the greatest piece of life advice you’ve ever gotten?

You have the rest of your life to wake up and decide who you’re going to be that day, and you should never feel bad about changing who that is from one day to the next.

It was said in the context of me realizing that I wasn’t genderfluid, I was transmasc, and my ongoing crisis over whether I’m fully a guy, or if I’m a bit more fluid than that. It’s helped me a lot with accepting that I might not have all the answers right now, and I don’t need all the answers all the time.

15. What one or two aspects of your childhood personality would you bring back to your current personality if you could?

Honestly? My willingness to just make things, and not care about how they turned out. I made so much art that I cringe at now, but I was learning, and that’s all that matters, really.

--

Okay, this was long, but I’m going to tag: @nothingisliteral, @violetcancerian, and @morgan-s-writes! Apologies if you’ve been tagged before, and as always, no pressure, and if you want to hop in, feel free to say I tagged you!!

[lesbiskammerat]

transmasc terves are like, a really Interesting phenomenon?? they claim they're fundamentally Females and thus even when they're totally fucking indistinguishable from cishet men, they're somehow Softer and Kinder and Better and whatever bc of their CASAB and a lot of them tend to be like, more on the "woke terf" side of things of "transition treats dysphoria but CASABs are immutable classes" and they're the vectors for the terf shit infesting tumblr in a lot of cases

also idk your experiences with LGBT+ spaces, but I will say that like, IME terves absolutely target transmasc eggs for indoctrination and so they as a group have lately made concessions that mostly involve grossly conflating butch and transmasc experiences; it does mean that like, there's no blanket rule for who's Safe or not; disclosure for context that I'm transmisogyny-exempt and some of this I've seen first-hand and some has been told to me by comrades

and like ofc I'm leery of sounding like I'm excusing transmascs who buy into terf shit, since indoctrination or not, they do a lot of harm and they're able to bring their toxic read of gender into spaces that are supposed to be safe for trans women and trans people in general, so it's like, my sympathy is limited

i do think it seems like they target transmasc people yeah, esp those that aren’t yet sure if they’re a lesbian or a straight man or something else, and cordon them off from other trans people, but that’s a specific group of “gender critical” feminists that do that. plenty of radfems and other assorted reactionary feminists really hate butches and transmascs in roughly the same way typical christian conservatives do. i think it’s interesting though that for whatever reason there hasn’t been a split into very distinct tendencies with their own names, terminology and theoreticians, so they all sort of blend together. like a lot of the ones i’ve encountered will refer to themselves with a wide variety of terms from gender critical to radfem to female separatist or what have you and it’s anyone’s guess as to what, if anything, they actually know about radical feminism, and it doesn’t help that they all seem to associate with each other pretty tightly regardless of big differences in opinion