#also it’s not even gonna be warm tonight i think it’s gonna be 57

[arakiincel]

tonight’s our first home football game and it’s beach themed. very much struggling rn

[chuckbass-love]

57 and 71 with Ransom 🥵

A/N: Wow, you guys really love Ransom, huh? ME TOO!! I adore writing for Ransom because i see so many possibilities, so many aspects of his personality that can be explored outside of what we see in Knives Out. So yeah, i really hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for your patience.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be translated or to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad or Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Prompt #57: "I wonder what your boyfriend would do if he knew what you were doing right now”

Prompt #71: "I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, i want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me"

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Summary: Although you’re currently spoken for, that doesn’t stop Ransom from trying his luck. What happens when you fail to resist?

Warning: Smut! Cheating, swearing, ass slapping, vaginal fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, slight hair pulling, slight angst, cream pie, sir kink, neck biting and kissing and mirror sex. I think that’s about it. If i missed anything, please let me know. 18+ folks. Minors DNI

Word Count: 6,490

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @fairyevans go check them out❤️

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Never in a million years, never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you’d be lying in bed next to your boyfriend of eight years, crying, crying because of the hurt you’re about to put him through. The pain you’re about to subject him to.

But you have no choice. It’s been a week since you made the mistake of sleeping with another man, of sleeping with Ransom. And guilt has drowned your entire body out, leaving nothing but a broken woman in its wake.

You know it’s something you’ve been meaning to do for a while now, but anxiety cripples you, rendering you speechless as you watch Ryan sleep. He looks so peaceful, so handsome and content. Little does he know, that same peace and contentment will dissipate the moment he wakes up.

Your bags are packed away in the closet, the diamond necklace he gifted you for your anniversary neatly hidden away in the black velvet covered box on the bedside table. You’re ready to leave him, to give him a second chance at happiness. 

And although your chest is tight and your heart is breaking into a million pieces, you know this is something you need to do. 

To flirt with another man is one thing but to have feelings for said man and sleep with him, well that’s something else entirely. 

As much as you try to fight it, the memories of that night flash through your mind like a slow motion movie. Every touch, kiss and lust infused decision remains imbedded into your brain, details you’ll never forget.

Here’s the story of the night you ended your relationship by sleeping with Boston’s own notorious playboy, Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

The winter air is so cold that even your calf length faux fur lined coat is struggling to keep you warm as you step out of your cab and onto the stone filled drive of the Thrombey estate.

Harlan Thrombey, a man of mystery and talent. His books are quite literally what got you to where you are now, an excited new author on the cusp of publishing your first novel.

You decided to really draw inspiration from Harlan and what made his mystery and thriller books so enticing and throw it all into a crazy combination of thriller, mystery and romance. At first, upon pitching your idea to your mentor and close friend Harlan, the famous author wasn’t sure it would work, but after reading a rough draft of the almost finished copy, he changed his mind.

His exact words ‘i think this is something that will grab the audience by the balls’ and so far, reviews from your team have been similar. One can only hope it sells enough once it hits the shelves.

But now comes the reason you’re at Harlans home tonight. Every year he holds a party for his family, friends and colleagues, whilst also inviting young and new voices in the writing world, you know to introduce people such as yourself into the scene.

However, also in attendance tonight is the one and only Ransom Drysdale. Your mentors spoilt grandson. Upon encountering Ransom for the very first time, you can recall specifically telling him to go ad fuck himself. He’s nothing but a trust fund prick whose cockiness makes your blood boil...literally.

Although you quite literally cannot stand him and everything he is, you can’t help but admire his looks, and how dreamy his eyes are, how they could lead you down a path of destruction. You’d find yourself risking it all for those blue orbs if they glanced your way at the right moment in time. But then he speaks, and your hate returns. 

So it’s safe to say, you are definitely not looking forward to being in such close proximity to him tonight.

Your boyfriend Ryan couldn’t make it due to having work commitments of his own. He’s a lawyer and his boss Andy Barber is hardly the type to allow him to slack off, especially during a high profile murder case.

Late night arrivals home and going without quality time together is your life right now, and as much as it sucks, the two of you seem to make it work the best that you can. Ryan loves his job, it’s what drew you to him in the first place, watching him in a cafe across town with his colleagues, tucked away in a booth. You remember watching as he was detangling his theories for everyone, they all hung on his every word, as did you and you weren’t even supposed to be eavesdropping.

Eventually he noticed, his eyes meeting yours in the booth next to his, and they just gleamed, pulling you in all the more.

After that day, you were joined at the hip. Day in and day out was spent by his side, kissing him, touching him, fucking him, you were enamoured, obsessed. 

As was he. 

And this year you celebrated your eight year anniversary. The only things missing now are a dog and a ring of engagement. 

But patience is a virtue. And you have a feeling he won’t make you wait much longer now. 

The zoo floods your stomach as you entertain the thought of marrying Ryan, he’s the love of your life. Your soulmate. Someone you could never live without.

But suddenly you’re pulled from your happiness and thrusted into hell the second Ransom shoves his way past you, almost causing you to spill your drink down yourself. Jerk isn’t the right word to describe him. No. There’s only one word that suffices just nicely, it begins with C and ends in T.

“Watch it” you snap, moving further away from him whilst casting him your infamous resting bitch face, letting him know you aren’t about to put up with his shit. But as he turns to face you, you forget all thoughts of hate, the gleam in his dreamy blue eyes are the reason you fail to hate him for longer than a few measly seconds. 

“Dam Y/N, you actually scrub up pretty nicely” he compliments, stepping closer to you to assess your outfit. You’re wearing a stunning navy blue dress, it’s got a sweetheart neckline and it comes to just above your knees. It’s cinched at the waist to show off your body in the best way possible. Not that you care for showing off, you usually shy away. But tonight was cause for celebration so you thought why not dress up?

“Tell me, sweetheart” his body now pressed up to yours, his chest to your side, his mouth so close to your neck and ear that you feel yourself struggling to keep the shivers of arousal at bay.

“Where is that boyfriend of yours tonight? You look way too good to be out alone” his tone is nothing short of mischievous, alerting you of his lustful intentions. 

He glides his ridiculously large hand across yours and then up your forearm to your bicep before gently resting it on your upper back.

“Well?” he presses, his hand urging you to speak as it splays out across the middle of your back, edging closer to your tailbone. 

“Well what?” you choke out, sipping your champagne a little to distract yourself, hopefully giving off the illusion that you’re far from flustered.

“Where is Ryan?” he asks, and you’re suddenly snapping out of your aroused state.

“He’s working, something you would know nothing about” you retort, shaking his hand off of you before strutting away in your 6 inch heels. And it can’t hurt to ensure your ass is fully in his eye line as you leave him wanting more.

Ransom has spent the last year alone loitering around you in hopes of cracking you so that you’d finally sleep with him. See, he doesn’t care much for titles, or women that aren’t available. To him, sex is sex. If he wants a woman, he’ll get her. He always does. Women are incapable of resisting his playboy charms. 

However, you’ve been the exception, the only exception.

But tonight, he’ll change that. He’s determined. 

That look in your eyes, one of mutual sexual attraction, it was so prominent that he’d never allow you to lie about it. He knows you want him, or at least you fantasise about having him. It’s just there’s one obstacle, your devotion to your workaholic boyfriend who never makes the time for you anymore. He can sense your starvation, he can smell it.

You’re in need of a good fucking, someone to draw orgasm after orgasm out of you until your body grows limp and you’re sated with a post orgasm buzz. Ransom can be that guy. You just need to let him be that guy. And no one will have to know, not even Ryan.

God even his name in Ransom’s thoughts makes him roll his eyes. 

It’s like he can sense you’re settling, your lack of pleasure is clearly something that bothers you yet you don’t utter a single complaint. You just continue to work yourself to the bone too, in order to keep busy, just enough to cease all thoughts of sex.

It’s like a game of cat and mouse to Ransom, when he wants a woman. And right now, the game is well and truly on and he won’t stop until you’re breathless and satisfied.

He leans against the door frame between the grande foyer and Harlans study, assessing the room, searching even. Searching for you. 

And soon enough he spots you, in the corner, surrounded by multiple older men. You look happy, laughing as you exchange tips regarding your writing. Marta, his grandfathers nurse brushes past you quickly and the two of you exchange pleasantries. 

You’ve always admired Marta, her work ethic, her infectious smile and loveable personality. She reminds you a lot of your younger sister, hence why the two of you get along so well.

Ransoms tumbler glass rises to meet his succulent and kissable lips, the brown liquid filling it entering his mouth slowly as he takes a bigger sip than usual, his eyes glued to you.

On the off chance that you look his way, he raises his glass, winking before watching as you watch him drink. Your flustered state more than apparent to him, he’s no fool and this certainly isn’t his first rodeo. The tell tale signs of arousal are showing.

Unable to refrain from tracking every little movement your body makes, he finds himself blocking out everyone else. So when Harlan snaps his fingers in his face to catch his attention, he jolts. Only ever so slightly though.

“What are you up to?” Harlan enquires, narrowing his eyes at his grandson as he watches Ransom stare his guests down. 

“Trouble as always” his eyes leaving you for no longer than a second as he turns to Harlan, sending a wink his way and alerting him that nothing has changed.

But as his eyes return, you’re not there. 

He quickly scans the room again, only to find the back of you. Your ass catching his attention as you climb the stairs to the second floor. So rather than watching, or even gawking, he decides to follow you. No one on the second floor now but you and him. A dangerous duo.

Especially since he’d be right in his assumptions, the assumption that you want him just as much as he wants you.

You close the bathroom door behind you, locking it before sitting down to pee, your eyes glancing around the vintage decor, it’s a good job Harlan is at the age he is, changing the entire decor of the house would be a crying shame. It’s so stunning, you’re incapable of taking your eyes off of it. But when you hear a knock on the door, you jump a little.

“Occupied, i’ll only be a minute” you call out before finishing off and flushing the toilet.

As you wash your hands though, another knock sounds through the room, the knock is so heavy, is someone attempting to break the dam door down? Maybe so.

“I said, just a minute” you call back, drying your hands before unlocking the door. 

But instead of squeezing past the impatient party goer, you are met with Ransom as he barges inside before closing and locking the door himself.

“Ransom, what the f-”

His plump pink and delicious lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence, and what’s worse is that despite one measly attempt to push him off, you find yourself enjoying him, enjoying the way his mouth works yours so effortlessly.

Ryan. Ryan. Ryan

Your subconscious screams, willing you to listen. And it works, being as you push Ransom off as if he disgusts you, this time succeeding.

“Woah, thought i had you for a second there” he smirks, mocking you.

“You’ll never have me. I have a boyfriend” you state, as if that’s supposed to deter him, but if anything it spurs him on more. You wipe your mouth as you attempt to move around him to get to the door. How foolish of you. His broad and rather large frame blocks you before you can.

“Come on, sweetheart. You and i both know that you want me, so what’s the point in pretending. You know this feigned hating game is tiring” he chuckles, stepping closer to close the space you created only seconds ago.

And even if you desperately craved some kind of exit from him, you wouldn’t get one, everything is blocked. You’re backed up now, the bathroom counter hitting your back, ice cold as it makes contact with your skin. 

The warmth of his whiskey scented breath spreads across your exposed skin, scattering treacherously, threatening to spin the two of you into a web of trouble.

“Don’t call me that” your voice lacks conviction, but you stand tall or at least attempt to. If you believe it, maybe it’ll show. 

“Was that poor attempt made to convince me or yourself? Hm?” his index finger lingers under your chin lazily, barely even grazing your skin while you refrain from keening for more.

Although you’re almost certain that Ransom can see right through you, so what’s the point in keeping up this charade?

“Look at you” you look down at your body but before you can get a look, you’re being spun around, your own pathetic reflection staring right back at you in the bathroom mirror. No guilt in your eyes to suggest you’re about to turn him away as he creeps closer to your neck, his lips about to close on your skin whilst his teeth pierce you softly.

And the moment it occurs, your eyes roll to the back of your head as your hands grip at the counter with white knuckle force. Your head rolls to the side like a rag doll as he moves you to gain better access, his sinful and wondering hands wreaking havoc on you. The feelings he’s burdening your body with are feelings Ryan should be making you feel right now.

As your eyes meet his in the mirror and you are met with his signature playboy smirk, you feel yourself crumble all over again.

Why does he have to be so handsome, so dam irresistible?

His one hand steadies your body as the other grips the hem of your best dress, slowly lifting it, something that much to your dismay fills your traitorous body with excitement.

Ransoms breath catches as your pretty ass comes into his view, nothing but a tiny purple laced thong to cover your modesty, barely. A view he can’t help but groan at, guttural.

“Ryan is a very lucky man” the mention of your boyfriend brings you back to earth with a loud and very hard thud as you spin around on your heels, the champagne rushing to your head and causing you to stumble a little.

“Stop it” you snap, holding your hand out in protest to his advances, his very tempting advances.

“Don’t tell me your conscience just paid you a visit?” his sinister and mocking tone and facial expressions, the epitome of the devil on your shoulder. Luring you to him.

He’s right though, your conscience did pay you a visit, one that’s resulting in you contemplating leaving this party earlier than intended. Just to escape the brutal and overpowering sexual tension between the two of you that fizzes and crackles in the air like silent and invisible fireworks.

His hands reach out to grab a hold of your body once again, the needy nature inside of him refusing to let his chances with you slip through his thick digits that easily.

“Tell me, sweetheart. How long has it been since that boyfriend of yours touched you?” his steps are slow, menacing even until before you know it, he’s towering over you, intimidation at its finest. 

Meanwhile his hand is dusting over the hem of your dress, lifting it up just as he did a mere few minutes earlier, exposing your panties again.

His voice is raspy, yet smooth as he backs you up to the bathroom counter, enticing you.

It’s getting impossibly hard to resist his womanising ways, the charms that led the many others that came before you to their inevitable fate. At Ransoms feet, his come dripping from their greedy pussy’s.

“Actually don’t answer that, it’s not an answer i don’t already know” his fingers are inching closer to the hem of your panties, teasing you at such a torturous pace that you’re afraid you’ll resort to begging. And since you’re trying to keep a firm hold on your loyalty to Ryan, begging isn’t an option, in fact no extra curricular activities involving Ransom are an option.

You are better than this. You have Ryan, you are happy with him.

You are. 

As his fingers dip inside of your panties, you feel your integrity slipping away, your usual pulled together self watching on from a distance as your current intoxicated self allows his fingers to glide over your petals. Almost like astral projection.

A soft yet inviting groan escapes, rolling off of your tongue as you throw your head back in pleasure.

“There she is” his grin can be heard through his speech, a grin to show how smug he is with himself and his ability to lure in yet another woman. 

What can he say, he has these skills when it comes to these things.

Your body arches, head remains thrown back as he inches closer to your entrance, index and middle fingers taking the time to figure you out before plunging in. Your hips start to move on their own accord as you silently give your consent for him to do whatever he wishes.

Ryan is now nothing but a distant memory, left to be remembered once the novelty of this moment wares off and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” his body curls over yours, his other arm wrapping around your frame, a vice like grip on you as he gently pulls you up, your head now tilted back to look up at him. Your eyes meet, the intensity of his orbs holding you in place. 

You’re incapable of looking elsewhere.

The words you never expected to utter out loud, in fact the words you never expected to utter to Ransom, they are about to escape your mouth. But the way he’s got you dripping with arousal, clenching around nothing as you anticipate the feel of his fingers inside of you, it’s got you throwing caution to the wind.

“I want you” your mouth hangs slack as your breathing grows heavier, his long eyelashes fluttering as his gaze flickers between your eyes to your tempting lips. And judging by the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips, he’s debating whether or not to kiss or admire you.

You poke your chin out on purpose in hopes that he’ll give you what you want, what he’s caused you to crave.

“Oh really? What happened to pushing me away, huh?” his fingers still circling your tight hole incessantly.

Boy is he going to revel in your vulnerability, your profound hunger for feeling full, full of him. But for the sake of your guilty conscience you’ll continue to lie to yourself about how he could be any man at this point or even that you’re envisioning Ryan. But the second he grips your chin in his free hand aggressively, forcing your eyes to meet his in the mirror. You’re lie slips away.

Fuck.

You roll your hips again whilst your own tongue pokes out to wet your lips before your teeth sink into your bottom one. Maybe that will do the trick.

He rolls his eyes, pleasure filled impatience as he watches you tease him. His cock hardening all the more, if that’s even possible as it digs into your navel. You just know it’s bothering him, paining him even to keep it hidden away in the tight confines of his boxers and slacks.

It won’t be long now.

His narrowed eyes continue to dance across your face, his brows are furrowed and you’re losing your patience, waiting is not a strong point of yours whatsoever.

“Kiss me” you whisper, barely even audible. 

“Needy lil thing, aren’t you?” yet again, mocking.

“Please” 

Ryan who?

And just like that his teeth are nipping at your bottom lip ferociously as he pulls you so close to him that you can’t see a single thing in the room but him, so close that you feel him all over you. All you can smell is the scent of scotch on his breath, mingling with the champagne on yours. A heady mix.

Once his teeth pull off, his lips replace them, soothing the marks over with his sinful tongue as it swipes over it gently, the calm before the passionate storm.

Before you know it, you’re battling his tongue for the role of dominant, a war you’ll never win, a war you were always destined to lose when it comes to going up against Ransom.

The two of you continue to go at it like lovestruck teenagers attempting to cram everything in before the return of strict parents. His hands roam your waist before suddenly breaking away, panting in time with you before he spins you around so that your eyes are now meeting his in the bathroom mirror again.

Menacing and harbouring god knows how many mental images of other women in his head, Ransom certainly isn’t short of experiences that would put your sexual past to shame. Something that intimidates you, yet you want the challenge of fighting to be the best of them all.

Despite being attached to another man.

His mouth hovers next to the weak spot on your neck, his eyes still looking into yours, the windows to your soul. His stare is unrelenting and flirtatious, one eyebrow raised as he leans closer, his lips wrapping around your earlobe causing goosebumps to cover you like a second skin entirely, scattered across your body.

He gives your earlobe a little attention before moving his focus to directly underneath it, your gasps allowing him to gather some insight into your weak spots. And as he continues to move lower and lower, the different sounds grow from gasps to whimpers and then eventually moans of high satisfaction.

And bingo, the spot just below your jaw gives him the best reaction, one that makes him want to keep going all night just to hear those pretty sounds of yours. The music he spurs you on to make gives his ego a little bit more than just a boost.

“Ransom” your eyes screw shut as your head lands backwards on his shoulder, his lips and tongue wreaking havoc on your body as his cock presses into your lower back teasingly. His fingers still circling your tight hole, making you wonder if he ever plans to explore your walls.

But just as you start to grind your ass into his crotch, your way of pushing the boat along, his fingers slip in, driving home a little too easily. Thanks to the arousal he drew from your body.

“Yes, sweetheart?” his tone is nothing short of seductive, his words portray a man on his knees willing to do whatever to please you and there’s something so hot about a man at a woman’s disposal.

“Fuck me” your panting should make it impossible for him to understand you, the way your hands are finding purchase on the counter as you grind on his palm every time it collides with your clit when his fingers are knuckle deep.

Desperation isn’t even a suitable enough word for how badly you crave the fucking you know he’s more than capable of giving you. You want this just as much as him, as bad as that seems.

“Beg for it, wanna hear how badly you want my cock” 

Is he serious? Clearly so.

Surely your words should be enough. But then again, Ransom is obviously the type to crave ratification and assurance that you want him and you’re not just playing around.

Consent is everything to Ransom, despite his trust fund prick and playboy ways. 

His reputation precedes him, everything you’ve heard up until now, all a mix of negative and positive-though the positive rumours don’t come around all too often-so it’s hard to decipher just how many of those are true.

But one thing you do know is that he’s not all bad, or at least not as bad as he’s made out to be.

You can probably be honest here and confess that it’s a huge plus point with Harlan. The way he allows Ransom his freedom and bad spending habits yet he still teaches him right from wrong when possible. And on the occasions where the family talk shit about the playboy, Harlan is always ready to defend him. The majority of the time that is. Harlan once told you that he sees a lot of his younger self in his grandson, unruly behaviour, womanising tendencies and whatnot, and then his defence of Ransom suddenly didn’t seem completely unwarranted. 

It’s like he knows exactly how Ransom is feeling and what he’s going through at this stage in his life, so he tries to go a little easier on him whilst also continuing to be that pivotal figure in his life, the one that’s there to support rather than tear him down like his daughter does. 

The less you touch on when it comes to Linda, the better.

The woman is nice enough, but she has no clue about parenting.

And that’s enough on her.

“Please fuck me” you murmur, eyes wavering from his until he holds your chin still, his fingers slowing down inside of you, he scissors them deep within, your pussy juices coating them deliciously.

Once your eyes return to his in the mirror, he covers your view by leaning his head around to kiss you, tongues collide, teeth clash, lips move in a rushed yet established rhythm.

“Look at me” his grip on your cheeks grows stronger, vice like, as his head returns to its previous position, his eyes back on yours in the mirror and now you’re gulping as you struggle to maintain eye contact. He intimidates you in the best kind of way.

"I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, i want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me"

Your eager nature has you nodding your head over enthusiastically, just wishing the time away until his cock is buried balls deeps inside of you and you’re on the receiving end of a fucking you’ve well and truly earnt. 

Another rumour about Ransom, one you have no doubts on whether or not it’s true and one you’ve heard way too many times to try and count now, is that sex is his specialty, pleasing a woman whilst also pleasing himself is his talent.

Some people can sing, some people can write, some people can bake, Ransom can fuck. 

The thought of finally experiencing his skills causes your mouth to water, your body to shiver and your mind to wonder. It races with all of the things he could do to you right now, and you love that. All possibilities are on the cards, you are now at his disposal.

“Yes, i want it” you whimper, biting down on your bottom lip as you clamp down around his still fingers, and as he withdraws them, lifting them up into the air for you to feast your eyes on, you feel more arousal pool at your entrance.

“So pretty, baby. All your juices covering my fingers” he pokes his tongue out to lick some of it off, humming his appreciation for your taste before dangling them in front of your flustered self, like candy.

“You taste just as good as you look, actually no, you taste better” 

That’s all you needed to take them into your own mouth, wanting a taste of yourself too, the jealousy of the satisfaction inflicted on him was too much.

“Mhmm” your hummed agreement as you suck everything from his fingers, no drop wasted.

He rips his fingers free before wrapping his hand around your neck snugly, his mouth now on yours in a heated kiss. The two of you sharing your taste.

Tongues exploring again, your hand roaming behind you and cupping his size, getting more than just a handful.

“Mhmm, i wonder what your boyfriend would do if he knew what you were doing right now” his smug voice fails to alert you of your current commitment to Ryan, or better yet, it fails to make you feel an ounce of guilt. You’re saving the self hatred for later, that’s your just deserts. 

The clink of his belt as he uses one hand to undo it slipping his slacks down along with his boxers, it echoes in the room, the silence allowing your nerves and excitement to reach new heights and the moment you reach your hand back to wrap around him, your eyes grow wide.

He’s bigger than you expected, but then again, you have no clue what you expected really. 

His large hands tug on your panties, slipping them to the side before his bulbous head rests patiently at the entrance. He smacks it on your exposed hole twice, knocking before entering.

You eagerly push back against him, not wanting to wait another second without him inside you.

“Someone’s needy” he chuckles, mocking you, yet the way his hands splay across your ass, spreading it apart as your arousal assists him, pulling him inside, says he’s far from mocking.

The breath he sucks in as your entrance catches around him, the view so pretty to him that he cannot take his eyes away. He nudges you forward, causing your elbows to rest on the counter as he eases himself inside.

Your heart racing as you feel the delicious stretch, your pussy accommodating to fit him inside just about.

“Oh god” your guttural moans escape before Ransom reaches around to cover your mouth, as unashamed as he is about the type of person he is, the last thing he wants for you is for his grandfather to find out. Especially since Harlan has met Ryan. 

You’d also hate for him to think any less of you and question your morals.

Although they are questionable. Very much so.

The moment he’s seated to the hilt inside of you, you press your hand to your navel, swearing that you can feel him there. So full, so content, so right that it should be wrong. 

 This will surely haunt you until you confess to Ryan, laying your sins out for him.

“God can’t save you now, sweetheart” his smirk catches your attention in the mirror as he bends you over a little more, your face inches from the mirror. His hand scooping up a handful of your hair and pulling lightly, the burn on your scalp mixing with the pleasure of his cock as he pulls out slowly before slamming back in, it makes you forget the pain he’s inflicting on your head.

Moan after moan, panting, skin slapping against skin, all of it echoes in the room, bouncing off the vintage walls.

The pace is relentless, animalistic, he barely waited a minute before he started to destroy your pussy, rearranging your guts to please himself. 

Your eyes watch as he grips at your ass, keeping those cheeks spread as his jaw hangs slack, occasionally biting his bottom lip and rolling his eyes back in pleasure. 

Now that you’re left to mute yourself, you have no clue how you’re going to keep shtum.

This feels too good, so sinful yet beautiful.

“S’tight, feels so fucking good” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you.

As much as Ransom is dying to be buried inside of you for as long as humanly possible, he knows it’s in his best interest to make this as quick as possible now, seeing as the foreplay took longer than he intended. He just couldn’t help but take his time, teasing you and making you beg for it was one hundred percent worth it.

“Can feel you squeezing my cock, sweetheart, gonna come huh?” 

His eyes look over to meet yours, mascara barely holding onto your lashes without running as you refrain from crying tears of pleasure, proof of the pure ecstasy he’s dousing your body in.

“Yes” you just about manage, struggling to keep your legs from giving way as they shake at your impending orgasm, your heels wobbling on the floor pathetically. 

“Beg to come” he growls, curling his own body over yours as he lands two hard smacks onto your ass cheeks, his eyes not leaving yours. Your body is shivering.

The rumours are most definitely true. No doubt about that.

“Please let me come, Ra-”

“Uh-uh. What’s my name, baby?” 

His eyes hold the answer.

“Please let me come, sir” 

The content smile on his face alerts you of his approval as he smacks your ass again whilst pounding into you over and over.

He snakes his arm around your delicate frame, lifting you up, despite your obvious struggle to remain standing. 

Once your upright a little, his mouth appears next to your ear, his whispers of “come for me, now” spur you on. Your spiritual body falling off of that cliff edge whilst dragging him down with you as his cock twitches deep inside of you.

The reminder of his lack of protection comes as his hot spurts of ejaculate fill you up, something that you should have been on top of but at the same time, you’re sated state could care less. Besides, you’re on the pill, what’s a little bit of Drysdale come going to do?

He shudders as he slows his pace down, his face contorting as he keeps his loud groans and growls in for your own sake. His gentlemanly side showing. 

As he pulls out, you stand there gobsmacked at the nature of what you just did, the activity you just partook in with a man you usually hate. Well, you hate his actions and personality, his looks you admire. 

He starts to re dress, leaving you with his come dripping down your legs, a sight that could easily have him ready to go again. 

“Everything okay?” he asks, attempting to care, but then again, maybe he does. Just maybe.

“I just cheated on Ryan” the enormity of it hitting your body full force, a force that knocks the wind from your lungs, leaving you panting and struggling to breathe.

He catches your sad expression in the mirror, the internal battle he’s having with himself on whether or not he should comfort you or leave, it’s a hard one. He can’t decide. But before he does, you pull your panties up and turn to face him.

“You don’t have to stay. I chose to do this, and i will deal with the consequences of my actions” your tone neutral, giving him no insight into what you’re going to do next. Your words suggest confessing but given your commitment to Ryan, Ransom can’t ever imagine you destroying it.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, i’m just going to clean up here and then i think it’s best if i go home”

His nod of agreement as his face goes blank, unreadable. 

“For what it’s worth, i enjoyed myself. And i know you have a boyfriend but i’d like to think you did too” his tone remaining neutral too, less of the cockiness he’s so well known for.

“I did, that’s the worst part. Anyways, you don’t have to listen to my self pity, you best get back before Harlan comes searching for you” your suggestion is successful as he leaves the room once his slacks are zipped and buttoned up and his belt is tight around his waist.

No more words uttered.

The memories finish flashing through your mind as you lay in bed next to Ryan, you don’t plan on sleeping tonight. It’s 2:00am and you’re being kept awake by the replay of last week, it haunts you nightly, your brains way of forcing you to tell him the truth. Something that he deserves, so who would you be to keep it from him?

All you can do is brace yourself for the storm once the morning light shines into the room you share with him.

God can’t save you now.

---------------------------------

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferous @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @yassspose @randomsevans @fanficforfun @meetmeatyourworst @leyannrae @rainbowkisses31 

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LMK if you wanna be added to any of my tag lists...x

[jkstompers]

passing notes | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date. 

genre: classmates to lovers??!, established friendship, they go on a date <3, jk is so stressed out, !fancy restaurant warning!, jk is A GENTLEMAN!! but wbk, oc is a nerd but is BOLD AF!!

warnings: mature!! (18+!!), SMUT,...they make out, LOTS of built up tension is let out tonite!, fingering, praise kink, handjob, backseat action, semi-public sex?? very strong language, jk overuses the nickname ‘baby’

word count: 9k

author’s note: pt. 3 of seatmate!jk. WE’VE GOT SOME FILTH TODAY PPL!!!!!!! this is my first time releasing a piece of writing that has smut in it so pls!! let me know what u think!!! i’m open to criticism but i cry easily so… pls pls be nice (Ｔ▽Ｔ) LMAO!! i also completely made up the program for ocean scientists that oc talks about LMAO i just needed her to ramble for a bit hahahah

additional note: also pls imagine jungkook looking like this in class and then wearing this for their date. also if ur curious, this is what i imagined oc’s dress to look like :)

okay enjoy!! thank u ( ˘ ³˘)

it was the end of the semester and of course, the only time jungkook would be running late to class was when he was finally going to ask you out on a date. so far, everything seems to be going against the idea. his alarm didn’t go off on time, the shower took way too long to warm up, and his car was low on gas. now he’s speed walking, almost running, to lecture to make sure that his seat next to you isn’t taken. 

he wants to make sure this goes perfectly. he spent the past two weeks stressing over the plans. asking for recommendations for nice restaurants in the city in almost every group chat he was in. his friend (the one with parents as ceo’s, eunwoo), helped him and got him a reservation at this one five star restaurant that jungkook’s never been to. eunwoo told him that it was the prettiest place he’s ever been to, said it would be perfect for a first date. 

jungkook specifically remembers you telling him that you’ve never gone on an actual dinner date. ice cream dates, movie theater dates, and amusement park dates were what you were used to. there was nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you’ve never experienced a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, that’s it. jungkook just wanted to be the first one to experience it with you. 

so when his morning starts off this shitty, he wonders if his plans are falling apart. he tries to keep a good, positive mindset, but he’s already so nervous and the universe seems to be telling him: don’t do it, she’ll reject you, you’re gonna look stupid in front of her. 

meanwhile, you’re early this lecture. it was the last class of the semester and you were hoping that you could get a nice conversation with jungkook in before it started. the two of you have gotten a lot closer since you last hung out. the chain of events starting with you apologizing for being so embarrassing, 

[12:44 pm] you: jungkook!!! oh my god i am so sorry for last night 😭

[12:45 pm] you: i don’t take alcohol very well 😖

[12:50 pm] jungkook: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[12:50 pm] jungkook: no need to apologize! are u feeling sick? hungover? 

[12:52 pm] you: omg no not really

[12:52 pm] you: ur a great drinking buddy, i owe u one 🥺

[12:53 pm] jungkook: it’s alright cutie

[12:54 pm] jungkook: just happy ur feeling okay :) 

[12:56 pm] you: let me make it up to u 😭 i’ll buy us lunch one of these days? 

[12:57 pm] jungkook: ah no can do cutie 

[12:57 pm] jungkook: have to buy u dinner first 

the thought of the conversation makes you smile. that one conversation starting the domino effect of the two of you talking almost everyday for the past two weeks. you couldn’t help but expect jungkook to at least be here, but if he didn’t wanna come, then he didn’t have to. 

you sat in your seat, patiently waiting for the one next to you to be filled by him. the hall was starting to fill now and class was about to start. you look around one last time to see that jungkook is still nowhere to be seen, and that a familiar brown-haired guy was beginning to walk up to you. 

“hello, ___! is this seat taken?” taehyung smiles brightly, you look down at the seat next to you. your bag saving the spot for jungkook. maybe he skipped this lecture, since it was practically for nothing anyway, you’ve already taken the final and there was no other material to learn, it was more so to wrap things up and see if anyone still needed to understand something. 

your brain comes to a conclusion. you remove your bag and say, “no, go ahead,” to taehyung with a small smile on your face, one that hides the disappointment riddling your mind. 

it’s about five minutes after the professor starts talking when jungkook finally walks in. he looks up to try and find you as he walks up the steps of the auditorium. his eyes land on you and taehyung, chatting amongst yourselves. he can’t help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy, that’s his seat. even though there were no assigned seats, the place next to you was always his, that’s just how it was, and seeing someone else sitting there, especially taehyung, makes jungkook’s green monster pop out. 

you feel a presence step behind you while you were talking to taehyung, and before you know it, jungkook is sitting in the seat next to taehyung. “oh! good morning, jungkook!” you’re smiling to him. he doesn’t grant you one of his regular vocal responses, rather he gives you a tight-lipped grin before he leans back into his chair and focuses on whatever the professor was saying. 

maybe he was jealous. witnessing you and taehyung having a wonderful conversation, one that makes you smile and laugh like he does. you didn’t even notice him when he came up the stairs, only greeting him when he sat down. no, he was definitely jealous. 

you’re stealing glances his way, pretending to be interested in whatever taehyung is talking about. he’s wearing the most boyfriend-est outfit in the world. a white long sleeve with grey sweatpants, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. you’re unconsciously biting your lip as you stare at him, he’s just so cool. he’s not even doing much other than looking straight forward. but this angle lets you see his sharp jawline and his side profile perfectly. 

you felt bad, one hundred percent. you should have told taehyung that the seat was taken, because now he was talking your ear off and you didn’t mind it, but you wanted someone else to be talking your ear off and it was the guy sitting next to him. 

when taehyung changes his focus to your professor talking about a summer he had in paris. you steal another glance at jungkook. you catch him staring at you, your eyes meet. he doesn’t keep the connection, cutting it off by moving his head and looking straight ahead. his jaw clenches, arms coming over and across his chest. he seems angry, you pick up on the energy now. an idea pops in your head to try and make him feel better. reaching into your bag to find one of your index cards, writing a message on it. 

feeling okay? 

you scoot your chair back a bit, pretending to stretch as you tap jungkook’s shoulder. he turns his head to you, eyebrows raised. you hand him the paper. he stares at first, eyes flickering between you and the paper. reluctantly, he takes it, unfolding his crossed arms to receive the note. you scoot back into your seat and lean into the table, lowering your chin onto the desk. 

jungkook tries to hide his smile as he reads your little note. how could he ever stay mad at you? it wasn’t your fault he was late. so he replies, his black ink has a stark contrast against your green highlighter. he can already feel his bad mood brightening. 

yeah, didn’t save me a seat? :( 

this time he folds the note, handing it to taehyung and telling him to pass it to you. “really? you’re passing notes? we’re in college, jeon.” taehyung snickers as he slides the paper towards you. 

you let a small laugh, reading the note. taehyung’s scolding continues as you write your response on the index card. you changed your green highlighter out with a blue pen. 

i came super early :( waited 20 mins for u </3 but i didn’t think u were coming so i let taehyung sit here 

you send it back and watch jungkook’s somewhat straight face contort into a smile. there it is, the smile that you know and love. 

jungkook on the other hand could cry. you came early. you waited for him. god, had he royally fucked this up. he makes his mind up now. 

i’m sorry :( let me make it up to u? can i take you out on a date tonight? 

check: ◯  yes ◯ no 

jungkook keeps the paper for a good minute, reading the note over and over again, thinking about how childish this way of asking is. but at the same time, jungkook knows that if he talks to you about it after class, he’ll gloss over the words and never ask you. letting the reservation and plans he made weeks ago render themselves useless. it was now or never. 

so he fully sends it, tapping your shoulder and giving it to you directly. you open the note and scan the words, sending him the sweetest look he’s ever received in his life. he thinks that would be a yes. he hopes. you write something onto the card and pass it back to him, your hand grazing his for a second. 

⚫ yes :) ♡ ◯ no 

the rest of the class passes pretty quickly. not that you were paying any attention. jungkook had emailed you a link to a game that the two of you could play, a weird version of snakes. jungkook kept cheating, you swore it, but in all honesty, you knew you couldn’t compete when it came to jungkook and his computer games. a clap from the professor breaks your attention from your screen, “alright, that was the last class of anatomy 101!” he then goes on a two minute long speech thanking the entire class for their great work this past year. he ends his ment with, “good luck and make good decisions! have a fun summer!” 

you take your time packing your things, a little too long for someone that just has a laptop to put into their bag. taehyung says goodbye to the both of you and leaves first, the seat in between you both empty. now it was just the two of you. a small blush creeps onto your cheeks. you were well past your high school crush phase, but jungkook makes you feel so shy again. 

you try to hide it by speaking first, “so, a date?” 

he sends you that award winning smile that makes you swoon. “yeah, did you change your mind?” 

you shake your head. “is it casual? fancy? want me to wear a dress again?” you tease, finally pushing your computer into your bag and standing. 

jungkook gulps. you looked so pretty that night in a dress. “fancy,” he answers, “you can wear a dress if you want, pantsuits are cool too— whatever you want.” he finishes packing as well, standing next to you as you both begin to walk down the stairs. 

“okay then,” you smile. “what time should i be ready?” 

“i’ll come and pick you up at seven, is that okay?” he replies, hand in his pockets. you both make your way out of the room and start to move towards the parking lot. 

“sounds good,” you nod, approaching your car. jungkook walks you to your door, his eyes focused on your sweet smile and your eyes. if jungkook didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were leaning closer towards him. a small laugh leaves your throat. “see you later, kookie.” 

he sends you a smile, the nickname tugging at his heartstrings. the realization hits him after you’ve already driven away and he’s sitting in the driver seat of his car. an embarrassing blush covers his face, he takes a deep breath and laughs to himself. finally. a year of crushing and he’s finally asked you on a proper date. 

jungkook is quite frankly, freaking the fuck out. he isn’t sure what to wear and his hair isn’t working with him. the long strands seemingly out to make his life a living hell when he tries to style it. one strand always looks out of place, or the way that it parts doesn’t sit right. he’s pacing his bathroom, debating if he should just shower again and take all the stupid fucking product out of his hair. 

he gives in after ten minutes of deliberation. a quick shower removing all the wax and gel from his hair. the ends of his hair dripping when he goes to check his phone, the time reading: 6:45. he was gonna be late to pick you up. now he’s full on panicking. he has no other choice then to skip the hair product all together and just let his hair dry and part on it’s own. he slides on his all black fancy outfit he had planned out just in case the first one didn’t work out. he steps out of his apartment after grabbing his car keys, wallet, and the flowers he bought earlier in the day for you. 

a friend of his works in a flower shop. jungkook remembers you saying  that you like all flowers and that you couldn’t choose if you had to. so his friend asked what you were like, trying to figure out a way to style the bouquet without knowing your favorites. jungkook said the general things; you’re sweet like an apple, probably sweeter, like candy. you’re so pretty, it’s blessing that he’s able to lay his eyes upon you. you’re smart, too smart for him to flirt stupidly like he always does, ‘cause you outsmart him and flirt with him back in a wittier way. you’re— that was enough information, his friend told him he was babbling again. jungkook only had to wait ten minutes for his friend to finish fixing up a beautiful bouquet for you. 

the bouquet is placed on the passenger seat as he starts his car, texting you when he realizes it’s almost five minutes until 7. 

[6:54 pm] jungkook: fuck 

[6:54 pm] jungkook: i’m gonna be a little late

[6:55 pm] jungkook: i swear i’m not standing u up

[6:55 pm] jungkook: ok i’m putting my phone down to drive to u now, sorry cutie!! 

[6:57 pm] you: ah okay! 

[6:57 pm] you: i was getting a little worried haha

[6:58 pm] you: see u in a bit <3

jungkook drives safely, but efficiently to your apartment. the drive only taking about five minutes because the stop lights were gracing him with green lights his entire way to you. he parks right in front, grabbing the flowers and hopping out of the car. when he knocks on your door, he starts to feel his nerves work against him. the adrenaline from rushing here gave him enough energy to hype himself up, but now as he’s standing here at your door, waiting for you to answer, his throat starts to dry and his hands start to sweat. 

the metal door slides open, revealing you. in your silk dress, draping over your body in the most flattering way. the neckline deliciously hangs down to reveal your cleavage ever so slightly and the slit on the dress, displaying your thigh teasingly. jungkook is speechless at his first glance at you. his eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open, catching himself drooling once you step out from your apartment. 

“h— hi, you look— wow,” he stumbles over his words, taking a step back to admire you once again. “you’re fucking stunning.”  

you brush your hair back behind your ear, your hand covering the blush covering your cheeks. “thank you, you look very handsome, jungkook.” you reach out and play with his black tie. he looks down when you do, remembering that he was holding a bouquet of flowers for you. 

he holds them out, “these are for you.” like a kid giving his crush a dandelion he picked from the grass. 

“these are gorgeous, jungkook! thank you.” you look up to him with your signature sweet eyes, the ones that never fail to make him melt. “just give me one sec, i’ll put these down and then we can go?” you ask, holding onto the bouquet and waiting for him to respond. a quick nod is all you need to open your door and place them in the fridge. you come out a few seconds later, locking your door and standing by jungkook again. 

“that was fast,” he comments. he holds his arm out for you to hold, which you gratefully take. 

“i just put them in the fridge, my grandma showed me the trick, it helps them live a little longer,” you explain. the two of you walking out to his parked car. he never lets your hand touch the handle, always opening the door for you. 

“when they die, i’ll just buy you new ones.” closing the door for you and making his way to the drivers seat. 

you scrunch your nose. when he comes back and joins you in the car, you voice your worry. “it’s kind of a waste, don’t you think?” 

he shakes his head, “if it’s for you, nothing’s a waste.” 

jungkook was a professional with his words. always rendering you speechless. 

with that he starts the car and begins driving into the busier part of seoul. he makes his way into the restaurants parking garage, the building looks to be about five stories. the architecture itself looks expensive, you wonder where jungkook is taking you tonight. he parks the car, turning off the engine, and moving to open the door for you. he takes your hand and you hold onto your dress, fixing it once you get out of the car. god, you’re so pretty. he was so nervous. 

“ready, my lady?” he smiles, his arm out for you to hold. 

it makes you laugh, a snort almost. “i’ve never seen you so proper, mr. jeon.” 

“only for you,” he winks. your heels click against the concrete floor as he leads the two of you into the building. the high ceilings and multiple chandeliers are what greet you first, the brightness of the place giving the sun something to rival. jungkook brings you over to the waiting area, telling you to wait for a minute as he checks you guys in. 

this was crazy to say the least. the last time you went on a date, it was to the movie theaters. you’ve never been in a place like this; a doorman greeting every guest as they walk in, checking in to eat, multi-story, etc. the more you look around, the cooler it is. “let’s go?” jungkook’s voice makes you turn your head. you stand, taking his hand. 

the two of you follow a man wearing a black and white suit, with a long tail jacket. he brings you to the elevators, holding the doors open for you both. you step in and he presses the fifth button, which was the top floor. you squeeze jungkook’s hand. he repeats the action, looking to you and silently asking if you were okay with the look in his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows. you nod, a smile on your face. 

with that the elevator doors open, the metal doors sliding apart to reveal a private terrace. only a couple tables on the entire floor. a few people sitting down and enjoying their dinners. beautiful greenery surrounding the perimeter, the night sky only making it prettier. your mouth is left agape, you’re stuck in the elevator, speechless. jungkook gently tugs you forward, following the suit man to the table. 

jungkook pulls your chair out for you. you could cry at the chivalry. you sit and he pushes the chair in, jungkook follows soon, sitting in the chair across from you. the man hands the two of you the menu and moves away from the table, standing back near to the elevator, waiting until you are both ready to order. 

“this is fucking crazy,” you whisper-shout. the terrace was lit by these bright fairy lights that were hidden in the plants and were above the tables as well. it looked like little fairies and fire flies were in the air, roaming around. 

“i know right!” jungkook looked as surprised as you were. “i asked my friends for some help and holy shit!” 

“they know you’re on a date with me right now?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. 

to this he furrows his eyebrows, “of course they do, i talk about you all the time—”but he stops himself from exposing himself any further. you can’t help but giggle. “i mean, i asked them to help me make this special, and here we are.” 

you swoon. he’s so sweet for planning all of this out and wanting to make you feel special. the two of you look through the menu, jungkook warns you not to look at the prices, telling you to get whatever you want because the price doesn’t matter. but of course, your eyes stray to the numbers, the meals costing a pretty penny for a simple spaghetti plate, the cheapest thing on there. you were craving pasta anyway, you didn’t mind. the two of you order and wait for the food to arrive. 

the city of seoul was just below you, not too high but high enough to turn people into smaller figures of themselves. the night lights look gorgeous from up here. the warm summer night only complimenting the gorgeous atmosphere. 

“the view is so pretty,” you gaze out into the city. the pretty colors from all the lights of the different stores and restaurants complementing each other so beautifully. 

jungkook was in awe, he knows that the city below you is gorgeous, but he can’t seem to get his eyes off of you. your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyes search through the streets. “yeah…” he agrees, “very beautiful.” he smiles, only looking at you. 

the food comes and you both dig in. the two of you enjoy some conversation with each other as you eat. the topic of growing up comes up, both of you explaining the occupations you wanted, and you said something that sparked curiosity in jungkook. “your childhood dream was to live in california?” he smiles, chewing on his steak. most of the time kids dream about going to the moon or finding atlantis, but you wanted to go to america? 

you nod, “sounds funny right? when i was a teen, i watched a lot of 90210.” 

“is that all though? you only wanted to go because of a tv show?” he asks. there’s something you’re hiding, and jungkook can see it in the way that you hide your smile. 

at first, you hesitate, but you open your mouth to speak, “well— there is— no, it’s embarrassing.” you shake your head, changing your mind and reverting your eyes down. staring at the plate of pasta in front of you. guys you talked to didn’t wanna hear about it, they thought what you were into was boring, embarrassing almost. a part of you feared that jungkook would feel the same. 

you feel his hand on your chin, tilting your head up. “i wanna hear about it.” his face telling you the truth, the sincerity in his eyes as he patiently waits for you to explain. 

“there’s this science program in california, they explore new ideas for researching the ocean, like trying to see what lurks in the deep blue, helping fix the rising oceans, everything-- oh my god, and they like go on field trips to different countries to see the coastlines and historical sites—” you cut yourself off when you realize that you’re talking at the speed of light. “i’m rambling.” you were terrified to see his reaction. 

but when your eyes finally meet jungkook’s, they’re full of light. and his smile is so big. “dude, that’s so dope!” he grins, “i didn’t know you were so into the ocean!” 

it was the bare minimum, being nice, but that was hard to find when it came to the majority of the male species. obviously, jungkook is above average, he only proves that the more time you spend with him. 

“oh, i love it! my parents would bring me to the beach and i would cry every time we would have to leave, aquariums too, and the fish section in the pet stores.” you gush, leaning into the table to tell jungkook more. he leans into his hand, resting his cheek against his fist as he listens to you spill your knowledge and love. 

he notes that the next date should be at the beach or an aquarium. it was a great time for him to learn this, especially since it was summer. the weather in favor of the cold ocean waves. jungkook swears he can listen to you talk until the end of time. your sweet voice can be the narration to his life, he’d never get sick of it. 

the food on both of your plates had been cleared, the conversation sizzling into a comfortable silence before the man came back to give you the bill. jungkook doesn’t let you see it, instead just sticking his card in the black folder thing, and giving it back to the fancy suit man. it wasn’t long before he came back, handing jungkook back his card and giving the both of you a lollipop with gold flakes encased inside. 

you gasp at the piece of candy, now that was ridiculous. you weren’t one to reject a lollipop though, gratefully taking the candy and popping it into your mouth. jungkook does the same. it tastes of blueberry. at this point he stands up, moving in front of you and holding his hand out to you. “let’s look around? i heard they have a cool museum on the second floor.” 

you take his hand, “i love museums!” the two of you make your way to the elevator, the man (he never told you his name) kept the door open for you both. he presses the second floor button when jungkook asks him for the museum. the elevator landing on the second floor, the doors slide open to show a completely empty art hall. this place shocking you every chance it gets. you didn’t think it could get better, but it did. 

when the two of you exit the elevator, the man leaves you to it, taking the elevator down and leaving you alone. your eyes scan the place, huge paintings on the walls, small paintings in collages, some sculptures on the floor, it felt like a pop-up museum. you both make your way down the enormous hallway, both sides of the room’s wall displaying works of art. you stop at one specific painting, the familiar work has you spewing random facts. “these are the lovers! i had to analyze this once,” you speak. the art displaying a couple kissing, both of their heads covered by a white sheet. “the real one is in australia, i think.” you laugh, tapping the lollipop against your lips. 

jungkook listens intently, but he doesn’t pay attention to the painting on the wall. everytime he does, his eyes always revert to you. the art doesn’t stand a chance against you in his book. you, yourself, were a piece of art, one that was rare in this world, one of a kind. 

he can’t seem to resist. taking your hand and raising it over your head, the way that they do in ballroom dancing. if a twirl was what he wanted, then so he got it. “beautiful,” he compliments, pulling you in close for a hug. the two of you swaying in the middle of the hall of this stupidly expensive restaurant. 

you look up to him, making full eye contact as the two of you lean on one foot to the other. probably looking like a lovesick couple, getting lost in the moment. which, you were. your eyes flicker from his eyes down to his lips, he seems to do the same thing. his hand moves to caress your face, the swaying ceased. now the two of you are centimeters apart, noses brushing against each other. if jungkook doesn’t kiss you now, he thinks he’ll combust. so when he feels you pushing forward, he does the same, meeting you in the middle. your lips connect. the kiss almost identical to the painting in front of you. 

jungkook swears he felt himself levitating. your lips are sweet, the blueberry flavor of the lollipop lingering on them. he’s had his fair share of kisses in his life. makeouts, pecks, cheek kisses, all types of kisses. but something about this one tells him that he’s in for it. he’ll never be able to get enough now that he’s gotten a taste. 

neither of you want to take it too far; swallowing each other's faces in a distinguished, five star restaurant’s museum didn’t seem very proper. so the two of you make your way out of the building, thanking everyone at the front desk, especially the man that helped you out today, and walking into the parking garage where jungkook’s car was. 

when you get to his car, he moves to open the passenger door for you but you stop him with a hand on his arm. you reach to open the back door handle and his eyes almost bulge out. everyone knows what happens in the backseat, and jungkook did not prepare himself for something like this. 

you look up at him with the most innocent eyes, but there’s something devious hidden in your smile when you ask, “do you wanna talk for a bit longer? in the backseat? it’s more comfortable than sitting in the front.” 

jungkook never took you for someone this bold. it’s either you didn’t know the meaning of the backseat (which was totally fine) or you knew very well, and had plans to devour jungkook (which was also totally fine).

he chickens out, his hands starting to sweat. “do you want to just go for a little walk or something?” it’s not like jungkook didn’t want anything to happen, it’s that he did. if he starts, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover from it. he walks a tightrope around you when it comes to his self control. one wrong move, and he’s terrified that he’ll fuck everything up. 

“oh, it’s just my feet kinda hurt from these heels.” you pout, lifting you foot up to show him the almost stiletto heel. 

his eyes widen. why didn’t he think of that? “oh— oh shit, i didn’t even— yeah, let’s sit.” he tugs on the door, letting you slide into the back seat. he follows, leaving a good amount of space between you both to make sure that there was nothing too suspicious going on. you hope your bold moves hide your nervousness, despite your confidence, jungkook’s unsure looks make you want to curl up into a ball. did he not want this? 

the air was different now. in the restaurant the two of you had been so carefree, slow dancing in the museum, and landing a sweet kiss on each other’s lips. but now, an uncomfortable silence tears at the two of you. your hesitance makes you speak, trying to see if a conversation would ease the tension in the air. “i had a lot of fun tonight, kookie, thank you.” 

it seems to comfort jungkook, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. with a small smile on his face he replies, “me too, i was really nervous you wouldn’t like the food.” 

“oh it was good! i’ll eat anything really, it’s just—“

“you didn’t like the place? was it too much—“

“no, jungkook, oh my god— i loved it, it was just really expensive, i still feel really bad about you paying for all of it,” you look to him seriously. “let me give you at least my half?” 

he shakes his head, “i asked you out on this date, it means i pay, don’t worry about the price.” 

you roll your eyes playfully, “big spender huh?”

a pretty laugh escapes his lips. “hard worker too.” 

to this you smile, you stare at his impossibly-perfect face, noticing a stray eyelash on his cheek. you see a chance to strike and you take it immediately. you lean forward to swipe it off. jungkook almost leans into your touch. he’s so terrified that he’ll embarrass himself right now, so he’s been holding back tremendously. but the way you pick the eyelash off and place it on your thumb with a smile on your face, it eases most of the tension in his chest. 

“make a wish!” you hold your thumb up to his lips. his eyes cross to look at the piece of hair on your finger, but nevertheless he obliged. shutting his eyes tight, making a wish, and blowing the eyelash off of your thumb. 

you let out a small cheer before you ask him, “what’d you wish for?” 

“if i told you then my wish wouldn’t come true, right?” he boops your nose. suddenly, jungkook doesn’t feel so nervous. his nerves calming at the feeling of your soft hands against his face. you make him so nervous, but at the same time you make him so comfortable and make him want to be himself. it seems as though the two of you were staring at each other for a while. jungkook was thinking about how much he likes you, the same ideas run through your mind. the thoughts make you wish for something more. 

“can i kiss you again, kookie?” 

he stares at you, weighing his options. if he kisses you now, then he has to strategically only give you a few kisses, he absolutely cannot make out with you, or else, jungkook will succumb to his desires.

but he takes a little too long to respond. the both of you overthinking the fuck out of the situation. it makes you draw back. “it’s okay if you don’t want—“ 

“no, no, please, kiss me,” he brings you back, moving closer to you. licking his lips in anticipation as you slowly push forward, closing the gap between you both. the kiss is so sweet, like the one in the museum. jungkook can still taste the blueberry lingering on your lips. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing you. 

you pull away first. your eyes scanning his face to see any expression of regret. there’s none. his hand moves to the side of your face, caressing your face and bringing you to him once again to meet your lips. he can’t get enough. “tell me what you wished for, please,” you speak against his lips. 

he smiles into the kiss. he wasn’t going to tell you, but since you were asking so nicely, he gives you a kiss on the cheek when he answers, “i wished for a second date.” 

“oh, didn’t you know?” you kiss both of his cheeks before speaking again, “i grant wishes,” with wink.

“fuck, you’re so cute,” he thinks out loud, it makes you blush. pink cheeks out for show and jungkook thinks you look even cuter. he dives in for one more kiss, telling himself this will be the last one, but when you make sweet noises against his lips, it has him wanting more. hands moving down to your waist, pulling you in and letting you climb onto his lap. he pulls away first, trying to get a hold of himself. “i uh— actually, didn’t plan for this to happen,“ he mumbles against your skin, tripping over his words. 

you look down, arms wrapped around his neck. “hm? what did you plan?” 

“we were supposed to kiss on the next date i take you on and i didn’t think— we’re just ahead of schedule, that’s all.” jungkook tries to explain that he didn’t want to rush it, god no. he wanted to take his time, make sure that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. but now, it seems like you’re taking the wheel and jungkook doesn’t mind it one bit.

“oh so you had like a real plan? like times and everything?” the thought of it makes you laugh, and the way that jungkook flushes makes you want to pinch his cheeks. 

he pouts when you giggle, “don’t laugh, i just really, really wanted to do it right, you’re just so amazing and i didn’t wanna fuck it up.”

you smile at his concern. the fact that you have the uni heartthrob planning dates in his head down to the details and wanting to be sure he does it right makes your head spin. you hope jungkook doesn’t notice the way that your heart is beating three times the normal rate when you go to kiss him again. the only sounds in the car are labored breaths and your lips smacking together. it doesn’t take long before you’re grinding into him. his growing bulge rubbing against your soaking core. a groan leaving him when you grind particularly harder, his hands moving to your ass to grip it. you melt in his arms, small whimpers leaving your throat as jungkook drinks them up

you pull away from his lips, giving his cheeks attention then leaving a trail of kisses as you make your way to his ear. one final kiss is planted below his earlobe before you whisper, “am i ruining your plans, kookie?” 

jungkook tries his best to conceal his groan, tries his best to ignore his incredibly hard dick in his jeans, but you’re so pretty and you’re on top of him, kissing him. it feels like a dream to jungkook. it is quite literally a dream come true. 

he was already playing with fire, your body a flame in the cold, he moves closer and closer until he burns. “fuck plans,” he breathes. a hand comes back to caress your face once again. filthy thoughts flooding his brain. he wonders what being in between your legs is like, what you sound like when you cum. he wants to make you cry and beg for his cock. but he holds himself back, knowing that you’ll have time to try everything out, if you wanted of course. he leans the both of you forward, his large hands splayed on your back to secure you on his lap. your lips find each other once more. “can i touch you?” he asks so sweetly, a hidden poison weaving through that you can slightly hear through the deep rumble of his voice. 

you’ve never wanted anything more. “please,” you nod. your lips chasing his when he pulls further away. 

jungkook smiles at the action. “lay on my lap, baby.” he instructs, tapping your thigh. the nickname rolling off his tongue, his voice seemingly dropping an entire octave. you raise your leg and move it over to sit on his lap, sideways. your back against the car door and his right hand rubbing your thighs ever so gently. 

“like this?” you ask, looking to him for reassurance. he looks to you with eyes that you’ve never seen, lusted and dark. 

“mhm, perfect,” he nods. “good girl.” the praise goes straight to your belly, your panties flooding from how much you want him. his hands move slowly down your inner thighs as he goes in to kiss you again. 

you’re absentmindedly spreading your legs, making room for him. he smirks against your lips when he realizes. he knows what you want, so his fingers move to your panties, lightly putting pressure over your clothed bud. you whimper at the feeling, biting his lip in the process. he moans in response, putting a little more pressure against your bundle of nerves. 

“jungkook,” you whine, pulling away from his lips, “please.” 

“please what, baby?” he kisses your cheek, “tell me what you want.”  

“please touch me, please.” you beg, making eye contact with him. jungkook’s dick twitches at the sound of your begging. he wanted to string you along a little longer, but you’re being so good. 

“since you asked so nicely, baby,” he obliges. bunching your dress up around your waist and noticing the pretty black lace underwear you were wearing, “for me?” he asks. you nod, your teeth taking in your bottom lip. he groans at the thought, you getting ready and picking out these cute, risque panties out just for him. it’s just too bad they’re gonna be on the floor on his car. he’s gonna need to ask for a rain check on admiring you and your cute underwear later.  

you lift your hips to help him, underwear coming off to reveal your soaking pussy. “oh, fuck,” jungkook murmurs at the sight of it. “you’re so wet baby.” he almost starts drooling, he can’t wait to taste you, but he’s still hesitant, only wanting to do what you want to. next time, he can eat you out. right now, he’ll admire the delicious sight and make you cum on his fingers. 

your eyes travel to the window directly in front of you, suddenly feeling insecure. thighs closing, thinking about how someone could look in and see. “what about the windows—“ 

“they’re tinted, no one can see from the outside in, i promise.” he reassures, giving you another sweet kiss on the cheek before asking, “do you still want to do this? we can stop now.” he’s so lovely, his concern and change in demeanor only making you want it more, knowing that he wouldn’t want to push you to do something you were uncomfortable with. sweet was sexy on jungkook. you never thought there would be a day that jeon jungkook fingers you in a parking lot of a five star restaurant, but here you are. and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

so you shake your head, taking his hand, and placing it back in between your legs. “please.” 

“anything for you.” he whispers in your ear before running his middle finger up your slit, collecting your wetness, and spreading it around your clit. he continues making tight circles on your clit, the sensation drives you crazy. you lean your head back against the window, moaning out. it was almost humiliating how reactive you were, you hadn’t indulged in this kind of intimacy in a while, almost a year to be specific. 

it wasn’t helping that jungkook was a fucking pro. the right amount of pressure and the placement of his digits against you has you dripping onto his nice, dress pants. you hoped nobody else was in the parking garage, else they would hear your cries of jungkook’s name. “more, kookie, more— fuck.” 

“more baby?” he questions, the sound of your moans going straight to his already hard dick. he thinks he could cum just to the sound of your voice. he’s one hundred percent fucked when it comes to you. he dips his middle finger into your hole, you gasp in reaction. “like that? hmm? ” 

jungkook knew was he was doing, he had you spread wide in the backseat of his car, already on the verge on an orgasm. he had a few years of experience on his belt, a ‘retired fuck boy’ he was, but he’s never wanted to please somebody more than he does right now with you. you just looked so pretty like this, so eager and begging for more. 

he adds his ring finger now, his thumb against your clit. “oh, god—“ you mutter, the feeling of his fingers and his thumb on your clit is too good. his fingers fucking you better than anyone else’s dick ever has. you found yourself bucking your hips against his fingers. “kookie, kiss me, please,” you look up to him with the eyes he can never fucking deny. so he kisses you, drinking up your moans as you fuck yourself up onto his fingers. 

“i didn’t know you were such a dirty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. your walls clenching around him, “letting me touch you like this in the backseat of my car?” his usual sweet demeanor now contorting into this cocky guy with an ego. it makes you even wetter. the squelch of your pussy every time his fingers push in is loud, the sound is music to jungkook’s ears. 

“only— only for you, jungkook,” you whimper.  you feel a familiar knot in your stomach tighten. he looked so hot like this. eager to please. his bottom lip caught in his teeth and a strand of his long hair dangling in front of his eyes. 

“good girl, all mine,” he kisses your neck. it may seem just like something you say during sex, but jungkook wanted it to be true. wanted you and only you. all to himself. he makes his way to a sweet spot, the feeling makes you tilt your head, giving him more access to kiss and suck along the sensitive skin. the discomfort of your back against the hard door was the last of your worries. your orgasm creeping closer and closer, juices leaking all overs his fingers. “so wet baby,” he growls, “i know i could just slide in, fuck you so good.” 

“p-please, i want it.” the thought of jungkook fucking you senseless, oh, you’d go crazy. begging wasn’t something you did when it came to sex, most of the time it was quiet, moans and breaths were the only things that you’d hear, no dirty words or praises. it was a good change, you never thought that you’d be so into being talked through it. 

he smiles at your eagerness, “patience baby, gotta take you on another date, yeah?” kissing your pursed lips. always so sweet and lovely. 

you feel his fingers push a little deeper, curling to find that sweet spot inside of you. your reaction does something to him, makes him hit the exact same spot, over and over again, in a slow, torturous beat just so he can draw those delicious gasps and moans out of you. jungkook feels close. he’s never felt like this before, so wound up. he ignores it, pushing it to the back of his head to focus on helping you reach your climax. 

lucky for jungkook, he didn’t have to wait very long. his fingers were longer and a thicker than yours, his efforts making you get there faster than you ever could. the consistent deep strokes of his fingers make the warning signals go off in your head. you speak a verbal warning before, “fuck, i’m gonna cum,” your voice pitches a little higher than usual. 

“gonna cum all over my fingers, baby?” he gives you one last sloppy kiss before you’re moaning out and coming onto his fingers, eyes screwed shut as your walls convulse rapidly as his fingers fuck you through your orgasm. “fuck, you’re so hot, ___.” 

you feel a smile break on your face. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you wink, still trying to catch your breath. a laugh slips from his mouth, small smirk on his mouth to match. he slips his fingers out, your body twitching at the over stimulation. 

 “i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes. inspecting his fingers, your pale almost-white cum coating the digits. he brings them to his mouth, sucking on your sweet sap. you’ve never seen anything hotter in your life. “sweet, just like you,” he smirks. you shrink in his stare, hiding your blush. like you totally didn’t just cum on his fingers. 

you’re distracted by the feeling of something hard resting under your thigh, it’s then that you realize, “what about—“ you start but jungkook cuts you off quick. 

“no, no, it’s okay, it’ll go away soon.” he shakes his head, but you furrow your eyebrows. 

you pull on his black tie, making him lean forward and make eye contact with you “can i?” you ask, so sweetly. 

he stares at you with the most sexed eyes you’ve ever witnessed. “you’re driving me crazy.” 

“you’re always so sweet to me, jungkook,” you kiss his cheek. readjusting yourself in his lap, straddling him once more. “took me on this amazing dinner, always treating me like a princess.” your lips travel down from his cheeks to his jawline, then to his neck. he shudders at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. your hands move from around his neck to travel further down, to the latch of his belt. his breath hitches. “let me return the favor, kookie.”

“i—“ he laughs, the embarrassment evident in the pink tint on his face. “i won’t last very long.” 

you didn’t mind, just assuring him with a sweet kiss on the cheek before you start removing his belt. jungkook leans his head back on the headrest, his neck exposed for you to kiss and suck. you unbutton and unzip, pulling his pants and his boxers down at the same time. his size makes your eyes bulge. he was huge. your mouth waters at the sight. 

“you’re so big, kook.” you egg him on, fueling his ego because he just looked so hot. your hand moves to hold him at the base, he lets out a shaky breath when your soft skin meets his. jungkook’s head is in the clouds, he could cum right now if he let go, but he’s holds himself back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of you. your hand moves up his dick, your thumb collecting the precum dripping from his hole, your thumb running over his slit as he groans. 

his hips buck up, “shit, baby.” he just sounds so good. you could just lick him up. you collect some saliva in your mouth, letting it drip from your mouth onto his dick to lube your hand. he groans at the sight, “you’re so filthy, baby, holy shit.” 

you smirk at the admission, the spit making it so easy for your hand to glide against his cock. the feeling makes him throw his head back again. his chest rising and falling.  the picture of him with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth agape makes your lower belly light up once more, you clench around nothing. leaning in as you pump his cock to whisper in his ear, “wanna fuck me so bad? have me crying on your cock? you want that, don’t you, kookie?” 

jungkook twitches at your words. that’s exactly what he wants. was he that easy to read? was that what you wanted too? the thought of it makes him want to explode, “oh— god, ffuck— fuck,” he sputters. his hand coming up to hover above his head, your hand still pumping as the spurts of his cum shoot out. you smile at the action, knowing he didn’t wanna fuck up your dress. instead just making a mess of him and his hand. he takes deep breaths before speaking, “there’s a little box of tissues in the center console, could you hand it to me, baby?” 

you lean back, opening the console and reaching for the small box that sits in the center. before you give it to him, your eyes flicker to the sticky mess all over jungkook’s hand and groin. a sudden urge to lick takes you over, holding jungkook’s hand and bringing it up to your mouth. you lick the dripping cum from the palm of his hand as he watches, maintaining eye contact the entire time. 

jungkook shivers, a smile creeping on his face, “you— you’re evil.” the remark makes you laugh. 

“sorry, just wanted to help clean up.” you smile, swallowing the cum you collected on your tongue. 

“yeah, yeah, you’re not the sweet girl i thought you were,” jungkook quirks a brow. 

you roll your eyes playfully, “you don’t like it?” 

“nope, i love it, you’re perfect.” jungkook wipes off the remaining mess from his lap and his hand. you help him clean up tissues and he picks up your panties that were discarded on the floor. the two of you fix yourselves before stepping out of the back seat, jungkook opens the passenger door for you before he goes to a trashcan and throws away the soiled tissues. 

he joins you back in the car, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. you were rambling about how happy you were that no one was around and how there were no security cameras in the parking garage. jungkook blabbers too, telling you about how embarrassed he is that he barely lasted a few minutes. before the two of you knew it, his car parked in front of your apartment complex. 

he stands outside of your front door, leaning against the doorframe. all dreamy and not like he just made you cum in the backseat of his car. “text me before you sleep?” he smiles. 

you nod, “of course,” reflecting the same smile. you wave before closing your door. the date being more than you ever expected. there was no way jungkook was real. he had to be a figment of your imagination, he was the absolute dream guy. 

you lay in bed, staring at the stars on your ceiling. a blush creeping up to your cheeks once more when you think about the events that took place tonight. 

[11:02 pm] you: thank you for tonight, jungkook 

[11:02 pm] you: it was magical <3 

[11:03 pm] jungkook: no problem cutie, i had an amazing time with you

[11:04 pm] jungkook: feeling okay? 

[11:06 pm] you: i’m great!!! more than okay

[11:07 pm] jungkook: 😂

[11:07 pm] jungkook: i’m glad cutie

[11:08 pm] you: lunch on me next time? now that you’ve taken me for dinner :) 

[11:08 pm] jungkook: sure, i’m down :) 

[11:09 pm] you: i’m rlly tired kookie 

[11:10 pm] you: gonna head to sleep now 

[11:10 pm] jungkook: alright cutie 

[11:11 pm] jungkook: sweet dreams! 

｡ﾟ(ﾟ^Ｏ^ﾟ)ﾟ｡ tag list: @giadalin @ggukkieland

[rebel-without-cause-x]

It’s Late

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Requested by Anon // Could I ask for prompts 57 & 67 w/ Juicey? Where the reader is related to one of SOA guys (you can choose who & how) and he's talking about it to who she's related to, but she's lonely one night and shows up at his place and they each confess how they feel (after he has the blessing of course) and they have a cute little inside movie, fort type of night/date? Prompts - 57. “I may or may not be in love with Y/N.” 67. “What are you doing here? It’s late.”

SOA Tag List: @chibsytelford​  @talicat713​  @corebore123​  @nothingeverdies​  @teapartydreams​  @mrspeacem1nusone​  @khyharah​  @itmejado​  @woahitslucyylu​ @beth-winchester21​ @minnicelli​  @everyhowlmarksthedead​  @trulysuccubus​ @haynsey​ @witching-hour​ @destynelseclipsa​ @edonaspanca​ @abbiesthings​ @angelreyesgirl​ @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ @jadesamhart​ @lady-pswrld​

Juice watched you and Jax from the sidelines, a smile on his face as he watched you bent over laughing after scaring the life out of Jax.

“Swear to god I’m going to fucking punch you” Jax seethed “little sister or not”

“Pfft” you said finally controlling the laughter and squared up to your brother “like to see you try douchebag”

One of the many things Juice loved about you was the fact you stood your ground, he loved watching you and Jax, the bond you both had warmed his heart and also scared him when you both got into a full blown argument as let’s face it you were both stubborn little shits and normally things got thrown, lips got bust and both of you normally walked away with black eyes.

He couldn’t help but smile as you ran over to all the sons that were about, reaching up and kissing their cheeks, it was something you did every time you left because let’s face it with this life any day could be the last and you didn’t want anyone not to know you loved them.

Once you were gone Jax grabbed juice’s arm dragging him to the side.

“I need your help” he laughed sparking a smoke up. “I know little sis is getting lonely, even though she doesn’t say it I can see it so I need some help with setting her up with someone”

“Maybe that isn’t a good idea” juice snapped “maybe she doesn’t want to date, or maybe you shouldn’t get involved with her love life, just let her do her Jax”

Jax was a little taken back by juice’s outburst, it was like he was on the defensive.

“What’s up juicey boy” Jax smirked knowing this was the reaction he was hoping for, he had seen the looks you both stole when the other one wasn’t watching, and honestly Juice would be perfect for you, he was the only one apart from himself that could get you to calm down “getting all protective of my lil sis, something you need to get off your chest”

Juice stared wide eyed at the blond as he rubbed the back of his neck. He knew he wouldn’t make a move on you until he had Jax’s blessing.

“Fine” he sighed “I may or may not be in love with your little sister”

“Thought as much” Jax smirked squeezing his shoulder “if you really do have feelings for the little shit head and aren’t just trying to get in her pants LIKE SOME FUCKING PEOPLE” he glared at Tig.

“Hey she’s a stunner, can’t help it” Tig shrugged before winking at Jax. “Must be the Teller gene so watch out Jackie Boy” Jax just rolled his eyes at his brother flipping him off.

“Then you have my blessing juicey boy” Jax nodded placing his hand on juice’s head pulling it close to him and placing a kiss on it. “Just don’t fuck her about or I will cut your dick off and feed it too you”

“I wouldn’t have it in me to hurt her” Juice nodded

“Good to hear brother, good to hear”

It was now 11pm, you couldn’t sleep. There was something missing in your life, a huge void that you couldn’t fill. Sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with the straw on your water bottle, debating on texting Juice to see if he was awake when Jax walked into the kitchen.

“Thought you’d still be in bed now kiddo” He sighed, he knew this was a nightly occurrence from you and it killed him, he just wanted to see his little sister happy.

“Couldn’t sleep” You shrugged placing your phone on the table.

“Just go see him” Jax smiled leaning against the door frame.

“Go see who?” You asked slightly confused.

“Juice” He smirked “come on don’t play dumb with me bear, you know I can read you like a book and I know you like him”

“Yeah but he probably doesn’t like me” You sighed

“You will never know if you don’t make that leap” He nodded before leaving you alone again, his words swirling around your head.

“Fuck it” you mumbled standing up from the table, grabbing your keys before quickly yelling to Jax you were going out.

The drive over to Juan’s was peaceful, you had no idea if this was a bad idea but it was too late to turn back now as you pulled into his drive.

Tapping your knuckles on the glass, the hallway light flicked on before a topless Juice answered the door.

“Bear what you doing here?” He asked “It’s late”

“I know it’s late but I needed to speak to you” You whispered as he let you in.

“Okay now I’m worried, what's going on?” Juan asked, guiding you to the sofa.

Taking a deep breath, you took his hand in yours.

“I can’t hide my feelings Juan” You whispered not looking up keeping your eyes trained on his hands “I like you, in fact I like you alot”

Juan felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest right now, he wanted to hear them words come out of your mouth for so long.

“Hey look at me” He whispered lifting your head up so he could look into your eyes “good job I feel the same way then”

“Wait what” You whispered while taking in his expression.

“I think i’m in love with you Y/N” He whispered, rubbing his thumb over your hand.

“What are we gonna do?” You giggled

“Well I think the first thing is for you to be my girlfriend” He grinned “That's if you want to of course, no pressure or anything I understand if-”

You cut him off by placing your lips on his, taking him by surprise.

“You are talking too much Juicey” You giggled against this lips.

As your foreheads rested against each other’s Juan grinned and you swear your heart skipped a beat.

“Now it’s late so why don’t you stay here tonight, we can put a movie on or something?” He whispered.

“Sounds perfect” You smiled as you snuggled down on the sofa, throwing your legs over his as you rested your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat whilst he tried to find something to watch.

[narcoleptic-drag-queen]

may I please ask for 57, 65 & 32 for secret agent/assassin Branjie?

you said ‘jealous secret agents’ and i said ‘JESUS CHRIST YES’

also, this is set in the same universe as this

32 - “But do they fuck you like I did?”

57 - “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” 

65 - “Do you love me? Then act like it.”

O - Secret Agent/Assassin AU

-

“Do you love me?”

Brooke is going to murder someone. Whether it’s Vanjie, herself, or their coordinator is still up for debate. But someone is definitely getting killed, tonight. “Of course,” she grits out, and Vanessa raises an eyebrow.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Brooke says, rolling her eyes, and Vanjie scowls.

“Then act like it,” she says, and Brooke clenches her jaw, taking in a deep breath through her nose. They’re already in the ballroom, tucked into the corner with their flutes of champagne, and they’ve already made themselves known to the target. It’s probably a little too late to say ‘no’.

“I’m trying,” she says, eventually, and Vanjie snorts.

“Sure, baby. Just don’t talk to Michaels, and we’ll be fine,” she says, her anger seemingly gone in a puff of smoke. 

The ball of frustration in Brooke’s chest is making it very hard to cooperate. “What else am I supposed to do, then?” she snaps. “She’s the only target!”

“Just--” Vanessa pinches her nose, and shoves Brooke towards one of the stone pillars. “Let me loosen her up a bit. We’re old friends, remember? The entire reason why we was told to come here? Just wait here, and wait for my signal.”

Brooke lets Vanjie lead her to the pillar, but the ball of frustration is still there. She feels like she could burst. “I don’t think--”

“Do you want to tell Michelle why Kameron Michaels won’t talk to me anymore? Do you want to explain to her why I couldn’t get her to tell me where to pick her up from work tomorrow for lunch?”

“You used to date her,” Brooke says, defensive. “Can you blame me?”

Vanjie rolls her eyes, but there’s a tiny smile curling at the corners of her lips that she can’t quite keep down. “Key word: used to.” She flicks Brooke’s forehead lightly, and Brooke slaps her hand away. 

“That’s two words.”

“I keep forgetting that you stopped maturin’ after sixth grade,” Vanjie observes, unimpressed, and Brooke lets out an incredulous huff.

“Hey!”

“Stay here,” Vanjie says, pointing at the ground like Brooke is a dog she’s training. “I’m gonna go to my job, this time, hopefully without someone’s snippy comments ruinin’ the mood.”

She turns, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she does, and walks off towards Michaels, who’s watching them with a curious brow lifted. Brooke glares at her, resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at her. Willam’s voice crackles through her earpiece, wry with amusement.

“Is it okay to laugh, now? Is that appropriate?”

Brooke takes a stubborn sip of champagne, watching as Vanessa catches up to Michaels, laughing and waving her hand at Brooke as if to say ‘don’t worry about her, I took care of it’. Brooke thinks that Michaels should be very worried, considering she’s about to tip the first domino leading to the fall of her corporation.

“You’re only supposed to talk to me when it’s pertinent to the mission,” Brooke mutters out of the corner of her mouth, eyes never leaving Vanessa and Michaels. Vanessa subtly sticks her leg out of the slit in her red velvet gown, the gold of her shoe complimenting her warm skin attractively. She gets what she wants: Michaels’s eyes travel up her thigh lustfully, her cheeks flushing a little. Brooke imagines slamming her face into her knee.

“I’d say this is pertinent,” Willam says, pronouncing the word with a sort of bounce. “It did almost screw everything up.”

“Shut up,” Brooke tells her, and she can practically hear Willam shrug, her stupid face practically branded into Brooke’s brain after all of the tech briefings she’s had to give them over the years. 

“Well, if you can do it, so can I,” Willam says, and Brooke can’t wait until they figure out how to kill people over the phone. To her credit, though, Willam does fall silent, so Brooke focuses back on Vanjie, her jealousy once again coming to a boil as she notices that Michaels has wrapped her fingers around Vanessa’s wrist to hold her steady as she laughs.

Vanjie and Michaels start making their way towards her, giggling and far too close, Vanessa wearing her most flirtatious smile. 

Yes, these were their instructions. Yes, they need this information to continue with the mission. Yes, Brooke understands that it isn’t real. 

Brooke has decided that she will kill Michaels tonight.

They come within earshot, Kameron giggling a little drunkenly as Vanjie finishes her sentence, laughter in her voice as well. “...and her quesadillas are even whiter than yours!”

Brooke feels heat creep up her neck at a rapid pace, glaring at the two of them. The fact that Vanessa has the nerve to compare her to Michaels is…. Maybe Brooke will kill Vanjie, as well. A nice two for one.

Kameron chuckles, leaning in close to Vanjie’s ear, but her voice is anything but a whisper when she asks, “But does she fuck you like I did?”

Brooke’s glass explodes.

She jumps a little in shock, flicking her hand to get the champagne and pieces of glass off of her fingers. Vanjie and Michaels’s heads jerk towards her, their eyes wide, and Willam whispers “Oh my god,” into the earpiece, her tone the definition of complete and utter joy.

“Um,” Brooke says intelligently, blushing so hard it feels like her face is on fire. 

Vanjie finally closes her mouth from where it had been open with shock, visibly gathering herself. “Why don’t you go meet me in the car, Brooke?” she says, her voice barely restraining her anger, and Brooke grimaces. She doesn’t want to, especially with the way Michaels’s hand is still curled around Vanjie’s wrist, but she’s less than eager to make Vanessa angrier than she is now.

“Alright,” she says shortly, and she steps around the mess of her shattered champagne flute and starts towards the entrance, her face still flaming.

“How does it feel to be a professional spy?” Willam asks, once Brooke hops into the tech van. She turns to face Brooke with an infuriating smirk on her face, her microphone tilted away from her mouth to keep Vanessa from hearing.

“I hate you,” Brooke tells her, kicking off a heel in frustration. Her feet fucking hurt. “I hate you so, so much.”

“I love you too,” Willam says, and Brooke kicks her other heel at her. It misses by a few inches, and Willam sticks her tongue out at her. Brooke’s anger snaps inside her chest, and she sneers at the other woman, the stress from the ballroom making her all too willing to be needlessly mean.

“Do you know that you’re the most--”

The van doors bang open, and Vanessa climbs in, pulling them shut behind her and turning to the two of them. The sight of her has Brooke’s heart racing, and she lifts an eyebrow, a smart remark on the tip of her tongue.

“What, was Michaels too--”

Vanessa pounces on her, pulling her into a searing kiss, deepening it violently and biting Brooke’s lip a little. Brooke moans and immediately kisses back, pulling Vanjie onto her lap and running her hands all over her soft, velvety dress, feeling her toned muscles shift underneath. She tastes like champagne and Brooke can feel her lipstick smearing across her face, but it only makes her need to kiss harder, to make her mark on her girlfriend. Hers.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Willam says loudly from the tech chair. “I’m in here too, you sluts!”

They break apart reluctantly, Vanessa shooting Willam a shy apology and Brooke’s eyes never leaving Vanjie’s face, a little surprised and very turned on.

“What was that?” she breathes out, and Vanessa giggles, leaning her forehead against Brooke’s, taking advantage of being taller by straddling Brooke. 

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” she says, and Brooke lets out an incredulous laugh.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Vanessa gives her a dirty grin. “But I think we should talk about it more at the hotel.”

“Yes,” Willam says, throwing her stress ball at them. It bounces off of Vanjie’s shoulder. “Go be nasty in the privacy of your own room. I have to work in here.”

Vanjie’s smirk only gets filthier. Brooke shifts, squeezing her thighs together.

Sounds like she’ll be too busy tonight to kill anyone.

[wizardwomenwisdom]

If we never met by John k with jj?

i hadn’t listened to this song before this and so this was a really fun experience!!! it’s a super good song, and so cute with jj. i hope you like it anon!!!

(also um... follow anon’s lead and send me songs and the characters they remind you of if you want a fic!!!)

if we never met

11:57 PM

JJ’s head is buried in your stomach. He’s fast asleep but the tears from earlier still leave your tee shirt damp.

John B.’s house used to scare you, when you first started staying there. That used to be the reason you couldn’t sleep. But tonight you just can’t calm your mind.

JJ had a bad night. He found something of John B.’s in the house that apparently meant a lot. Something that said Bird. It left him spiraling, and you had to calm him down.

That’s when he started crying, and saying he didn’t know what he’d do without you, if you’d never met.

That what keeps you awake now.

You had a sneaking suspicion that JJ did more for you than you ever did for him.

*****

You dodged through lines of tourists and kooks on your side of the kegger. There was a slight sway in your step, the result of drinking too much to feel some sense of belonging. It didn’t help all that much: your fake friends still felt fake, no matter how hard you tried.

So, you were grabbing another beer. The keg had mostly been abandoned by then, save for the blond boy who’d been working it all night and looked less than pleased with the responsibility.

“Coming back for more?” He asked, as you thrust your cup towards him.

“Anything to black this out.” You only kind of meant it as a joke, and he caught that.

“Bad night?”

“Bad life.”

He frowned. “How about, instead of drinking that next cup, you vent to me?”

“Is this your lame attempt to pick me up?”

His face instantly shifted into a cocky smirk. “Is it working?” Then, he shook his head. “But, honestly, I don’t go for drunk girls.”

“What a gentleman.”

A arm slid around your shoulder, and you went still. “Hey, Y/A.”

You grabbed Topper’s arm and moved it off of you. “I’m gonna stop you there, Top. I’m not a rebound girl.”

“That’s not what I was gonna say!” You could tell from his voice and past experience since Sarah left that, yes, that was what he was going to say.

“Topper, back off,” The blond boy said. He stepped in between you two.

“And anyway, he was just about to take me home,” You lied. It probably came off as one, too, but part of you just hoped the blond would go along with it.

“Yeah,” He said. “I’m DD for the night.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“He’s Kie’s friend,” You answered. You crossed your arms. “Now, you’re gonna go home with your friends and stop being an asshole.”

“Excuse me?” I grabbed the blond’s arm and started dragging him away. “Y/A, wait!”

You stuck your middle finger high in the air and kept walking.

When we were finally in the back of the blond’s destroyed VB bus, he said, “Y/A? That’s your name?”

“Seems like it, huh?”

“Seems like it.”

You leaned back against the bench seat and smiled. “And who are you?”

“JJ.”

“Thanks for saving me, JJ.”

*****

12:32 AM

JJ snores sometimes when he sleeps, and so you leave him to walk around the house. It’s warm and humid on the porch, but you don’t mind it much.

If JJ was here, you’d share a joint and you’d bring out the guitar and the two of you would sing. But now you just pull your knees into your chest, and think back on your first date.

*****

You remembered giving JJ your number and telling him to call you, but he was a boy and so you didn’t count on it.

That’s why, when you got a call from an unknown number a few days after the party, you let it go to voicemail. It rang again. The third time, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, what are you wearing?”

“JJ?”

“Are you wearing a bathing suit?”

“No?”

“Get one on and get outside.” He hung up, and I figured I might as well.

You threw on your favorite bikini, and flew outside.

JJ was sitting at the wheel of a dingy boat, tied to your dock. “How about we hit up the marsh today?”

“Like on a date?”

He shrugged. “Sure. Unless you’re scared.”

“I learned how to drive a boat when I was eight.”

The water was up from a recent storm, and the lip of the boat was a bit higher than usual. You swung your leg onto the boat, and he helped you the rest of the way in, but your sandal caught on the lip. You crashed straight into him, and both of you fell to the floor of the boat.

You knelt over him, hands by his face. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, and glanced at your lips. You could kiss him right then and there. Just lay on one him.

You pushed to your feet. “Perfect boating weather today. Where’re we headed?”

*****

1:54 AM

The screen door bangs open behind you, and JJ finds you on the patio. His chest deflates with relief.

“Fuck, Y/A, I woke up and you were gone and I just...” He slumped down on the bench next to you, and you wrap your arms around him. You press your lips to his forehead and tell him it’ll be okay over and over and over again.

And you remember how you got here, in this house with this boy.

*****

It was almost 1 AM, but he was still sitting out on the porch. It was hard to make him out there, both because of the night and the tears, but it was him.

You walked up the porch steps, slowly, and he ran to meet you halfway. He looked like he was going to kiss you, until he got close enough to see your face.

So instead, he pulled you inside and into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You didn’t even really know yourself, until you started talking. “I told my parents about yesterday and your dad and...” You gulped back a sob, “And I asked them for help because, I thought, you have a job and a house and a dad like that and we can get you emancipated. And they didn’t care.”

“Y/A, it’s—“

“And then they told me they didn’t want me seeing you. And I told them I was leaving. Leaving and not coming back. And they didn’t care.”

He sat down and pulled you onto his lap, so that you could curl up. Your tears soaked through his shirt.

“We’ll live here together, huh?” JJ said. “You and me. We’ll pay the bills and buy groceries that we can’t afford and we’ll never go back.”

You nodded weakly, and he pressed his lips to your hair and told you over and over again that you were okay.

*****

5:43 AM

The sun’s coming up in the distance, and you haven’t slept all night. JJ’s been asleep in your arms all night, and now he turns on his side and starts to wake up.

You smile slightly down at him, and brush a piece of hair out of his face.

In the light of the rising sun, you whisper, “Thank you.”

“Hmm?” He mumbles, still half asleep.

“I wouldn’t even know what love is if we never met. So, thank you.”

[divine17]

↳ SHE’S THUNDERSTORMS | MASTERLIST

Fandom: Stranger Things

Request: —

Warnings: SMUT, fem!reader, gentle!dom!steve x sub!reader, daddy/baby girl kink, mutual masturbation/phone sex, established romantic relationship, slight orgasm denial (?), praise kink, that probably covers it

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: i had an idea™ ...

oh, also! written with st2!steve in mind. but you could definitely change that up if you want to!! (& not my gif!! found on tenor, posted by captainromanoff.)

Steve Harrington hated being alone.

Since he’d started dating you back in sophomore year, he could comfortably say that he didn’t find himself alone very often. The two of you were almost always together, whether it was at school or work or one of you sleeping over at the other’s house. Most people would find that annoying, probably, but him? He loved it. He savored spending every waking moment with you.

Steve loved nothing more than when he would stir awake in the middle of the night to find your arm thrown over his bare stomach and your legs all tangled together. Your warm cheek pressed against his chest, the top of your head brushing against his jawline. The feeling of you taking a deep breath in and your grasp on him growing just a little bit tighter as he adjusted himself so he could fall back asleep. That was his favorite thing, the best thing he’d ever had the simple pleasure of experiencing.

So, naturally, he found it strangely difficult to sleep now that he was completely and utterly alone.

Exactly eleven days ago, Steve’s parents had hurriedly dragged him away from you and the tiny town of Hawkins. They packed a suitcase or two and caught a plane up to New York City, a bustling city completely unlike his hometown in every single way possible. All under the guise of visiting some dumb relatives that he didn’t even know... He barely had time to tell you goodbye, but that’s alright, because he’s called you up at 10 o’clock sharp every single night since he’d left. Long, sweet conversations until one of you got too tired to continue, going well into the early morning hours before someone hung up.

It was eleven nights that the boy had been without you. The first night wasn’t that bad. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep after such a busy day, he barely had time to think about your absence. On the second night, it began to set in; and by the fourth, he was beginning to crumble from the inside out. The seventh day that marked one week without you was the toughest. He was lonely, he needed you now more than ever. Innocently. But on the ninth, he began to feel a bit better.

Well, not exactly. But close enough. His mind slowly started to wander away from him, falling into... More promiscuous territory. The pure need had turned into a much more lustful want; the sound of your sultry little moans began to completely flood his brain, the images of your body. Your breasts bouncing as you rode him a couple nights before he left, the picture of your lips wrapped around his cock, your bright (Y/E/C) eyes staring up at him. The sweet, satisfying release that he so desperately craved. He couldn’t even count on both hands how many times he’d jacked off, trying to rid himself of what seemed like a constant hard-on, purely from the thoughts.

And by the eleventh night... To put it kindly, Steve was about to lose his fucking mind. He couldn’t shake those thoughts. They clouded his consciousness, all he could even think of. And now, his cock was achingly, painfully hard, strained against his grey sweatpants. You would’ve loved the sight of it, he was sure.

He rolled over in bed, taking his head between his palms after looking at the clock. 9:57. A couple little swears fell from his lips near-silently as he sighed. He couldn’t do this again. There was only so much his hand could do with just the memories... God, he had to get back home to you. As soon as possible. He missed you, all of you. Everything about you, he needed it. And with that, he got an an idea.

Steve sat up in bed, swinging his legs off of the mattress and onto the floor. His thin socks hit the cool tile as he stood up, slowly walking over to the large window that overlooked this part of the city. He watched for a moment, studying the yellow cabs and green lights below. The people constantly moving, in their striking neon colors and shapes. He could almost hear the chatter of them below, it seemed.

Next, he headed back to the bed, sitting down on the edge before picking up the phone. A small, black rotary, it wasn’t perfect, but he was grateful to have it. He leaned back and quickly dialed your number, and on the third ring, you picked up.

God, it was such an immediate relief to hear your voice as you answered.

“Stevie?” You asked. You weren’t really sure why you did... Who else would be calling, and at this time? He mumbled a small ‘yeah’ in response, causing a light smile to wash over your face.

After a few minutes of regular conversation, he found a sudden little bit of courage to bite the bullet and ask.

“Can we try something new tonight?” He asked. His voice was suddenly growing lustful and needier as he spoke, almost like a whine. “Everyone’s asleep, right?”

“Yeah, what is it? Why?”

“I need you to lock your door. Turn your lamp off.” The boy said. He felt like he grew more and more dominant by the second as he talked to you, but in a soft sort of way. You put the phone down, tiptoeing to your bedroom door, flicking the lock shut and switching the table lamp off. “Next, I want you to lay down on your back. Get comfortable for me, alright baby girl? I think we’re gonna be here for a while.”

You hummed in response as you laid down on your back, an arm draped across your stomach while the other held the phone to your ear, awaiting further instruction from your boyfriend.

“Take off your clothes.”

You couldn’t help but smirk a little at that one, a bit thankful that he couldn’t see you. But once again, you agreed, beginning to strip off your tanktop, tossing it into the floor. Next was your shorts, and then your panties. After that, you settled back into his desired position for you.

“I’m going to talk you through this, listen carefully...” Steve grew helplessly nervous as he began to think out his next few words, yet still remained confident. “I want you to run a finger over your pretty, pink lips. Part them, let it fall between them.”

He had to stop himself from moaning when he heard the wet sounds of you following his commands. So submissive, so obedient. Just how he liked it during times like this. It wasn’t often these days that he’d take the rather dominant role, but when he did... He was always soft, much more gentle than he had been back in, say, the King Steve days. And he was always weirdly good at it, at playing the dom. He knew just the right buttons to push and levers to pull to drive you absolutely insane, and you loved every second of it.

“Feel how hot your mouth is.... God, I love your mouth, baby. Don’t you? It’s so perfect, so warm and inviting. Suck on your finger. Feel how warm, how soft... That’s what it feels like when it’s wrapped around my cock. Like heaven.”

“Yes, Daddy.” You replied, gliding your finger over your tongue, savoring the warmth. Steve let out a light groan at the nickname. It drove him crazy when you called him that. Hell, he didn’t even know why it got him like that, but he loved it so.

“I want you to get your finger nice and wet for me. Trail it down your neck, to your tits. Now, pinch those sweet little nipples for Daddy. Let me hear you. You feel your little pussy twitch? Yeah, I thought so... Give your tits a little squeeze for me. A little rougher, just like I always do.”

You couldn’t help but moan slightly as you followed through his orders, causing him to have to take a second and remind himself to breathe. Man, no one else had ever been able to get him so worked up like this, so fucking horny that he couldn’t see straight. Only you.

“Lick your finger again, make both nipples wet. Play with it. Imagine it’s my tongue, sucking and biting just like you like. I’m there, I’m kneading your breast in one hand, using my mouth on the other…” Steve could hear that too-familiar little whine, the one you always made when your thighs began to close on him, when he gave you so much pleasure that you nearly couldn’t handle it. He knew you and your body almost a little too well. “No, baby girl. Keep those legs open for me. I want you to, slowly, trail your hand down your stomach. Slowly, Y/N. Do you feel how fucking wet you are? Who made you like that without even touching you?”

“You.” You breathed, choking back a moan. “You, Steve.”

“That’s right, baby, even though I’m almost a thousand miles away. I wish I was there with you… As soon as I get home, I’ll fuck you nice and hard just like I know you want me to. But for now, push one finger into your pussy. Just one for now, baby girl. Be patient…”

“I will, Daddy.”

“Good girl. Finger yourself for me. It’s good, but it’s not enough, is it? So needy... So pull out, circle around your clit... Gentle, slow and gentle. You know better.” Steve gave you more than a few seconds to please yourself before he spoke up again. And taking the silence to his advantage, he let his own hand fall down to his lap, slowly beginning to palm himself through the thick fabric. “Do you think you’re ready for another finger? Take your time, sweet girl. Pump them in and out...”

Steve let out a small groan, his own arousal becoming too much for him. His cock twitched against his thigh, feeling the little beads of precum fall onto his soft skin. Another soft sound when he pressed a little harder, the soft friction of the cotton against his sensitive member, driving him crazy. Fuck it.

“Baby girl, this was supposed to be just for you... I was gonna take care of myself later, but I just can’t hold back. You’re so beautiful when you moan like that, so fuck it. Baby, we’re gonna do this together.” He began to untie the strings, pulling his sweats and boxers down his hips just enough for him to pull out his aching length. More quiet curses fell from his lips as he took himself into his hand. God, he could’ve came right then and there if he really wanted to. “I’m- My hand is wrapped around my cock, my thumb is gliding over the tip. Feels so good... Imagine me pushing it inside you, push two fingers into yourself. Fuck, I can practically feel you squeezing around me... Curl those fingers, find that sweet spot that I showed you. Press against it, feel it, baby girl.”

A throaty moan finally escaped you, much to your surprise. Steve groaned, enjoying that sound to the fullest. He wished that you could be as loud as you wanted, but unfortunately, you couldn’t. You had family across the hall. His was three floors down, and he was very thankful that he himself didn’t have to worry about that. He could talk at just above a whisper but below a normal speaking voice, so (really, accidentally) sexy and perfect.

“I want you to put the phone down next to your ear. Rub your clit, use both hands if you want to, so your fingers keep working. Be gentle, so gentle... When you pull your fingers out, I want you to suck on them. Taste yourself, I know you love it, baby. Pretend they’re my fingers, slick with your wetness.”

“Oh, fuck,” You mumbled, trying to keep yourself quiet,. Not quite failing, but... Not exactly succeeding, either. Not that either of you much cared at the moment. You sighed lightly as you licked over your fingers, and he inhaled sharply upon hearing the obscene sound of it. Wet, your lips wrapped around your digits, tongue sweetly licking up the mess on them. “Daddy... I’m so close.”

“I know, baby girl, just keep playing with your clit. Fingers, in and out, hitting that spot... God, fuck, what I wouldn’t give to be there with you. I don’t think, I-I don’t think I’d be able to resist you... Oh, it feels so good when I close my eyes, I can see you above me, hands tangled in my hair while you ride my cock.” His own strokes became quicker as he spoke, a smile seeping through his voice. He loved that sight, that thought, more than anything else. He squeezed himself slightly, imagining that it was your pussy squeezing him so nice, so invitingly, just like always.

The more he spoke, the quicker your orgasm approached, the sweet, hot waves of pleasure washing over you violently. You began to focus solely on his voice, and with that, you started to let your moans get louder... And louder, and louder, until finally he had to stop you.

“Baby girl, hey, listen to me.” He said, through broken words. He found himself a panting mess at this point. “You have to be quiet. I want you to be quiet, daddy needs you to be quiet. I want you to whimper, so softly, so quietly. Okay? Can you do that for me?”

“Mhm.” You whined, nodding your head. Completely forgetting that the brunette boy couldn’t see you. But somehow, he just knew that’s what you were doing.

“I want you to go harder, deeper. Raise your hips up a bit. Fuck yourself so good, baby.” Small whimpers and little cries of pleasure began to fall from your lips as you followed his suggestion. Oh, how that brought a smile to his face. His pretty little girl obeying him so perfectly. “You’re such a good girl, Y/N.”

His praise only fueled the fire in the pit of your stomach, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. “Daddy, I’m going to come.”

“No, not yet. Not yet.” He said lightly. “I want to come at the same time as you. Can you try to hold it until Daddy says so?”

You mumbled a small ‘yes’ to him, listening closer to him. The sound of flesh on flesh, his moans, his words, the stillness of the bedroom he was in. You wondered what it looked like, if it was anything like his own bedroom back home.

Sweet sounds fell from the both of you for a little while longer. Steve bucked his hips into his hands as he stroked his length, letting himself grow louder, but not by much, until he finally began to feel his orgasm creeping up on him. You let the little whines and cries and whimpers of pleasure, the tiny moans of his name, fall from your lips. He savored that, wishing he could bottle it up and save it forever. There truly was nothing better, as far as he was concerned.

“Baby, you wanna come?” He asked heavily, a slight growl ripping through his throat. You vigorously nodded, giving him a slight ‘uh huh’ as you continued your actions. “Let’s slow down now, alright? Nice and slow, hard and deep. Match that rhythm... You’re gonna come for me, baby girl. We’ll come together...”

By the end of his sentence, Steve’s voice had grown fiercer, heavier. Thick pants and rough moans rising from his throat. He was so, so close to the edge. So close. He was becoming more and more scatterbrained, more focused on his single task at hand. Getting the two of you off, and making it amazing, more than usual.

“Come. Come for Daddy. Now, oh, fuck.”

He began to crumble, unable to hold himself back. A series of moans of your name, louder little breathy pants, sweet and unrestrained sounds. Thick, hot, white ropes of his release spurting onto his stomach. Messy, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He sounded almost... Angelic, in a fucked up sort of way. And with that, you began to come. Choked sobs and cries of his name, they were saccharine on his tongue as you cane undone. So sweet, so beautiful, exactly what he needed to hear right now. A reminder of his neverending love for you, delivered in a strange fashion.

After a moment of heavy breathing from the both of you, he spoke up.

“I hope... I hope that was as good for you as it was for me.” He said, still catching his breath from the intense orgasm that had just torn through him. You could only muster up a breathy little ‘yes’ as you recovered, eyes closed and phone still as close to you as ever.

“God, it was. It was so good...” You said, quietly, under your breath. “We should do that more often, Steve.”

“Yeah.” He nodded his head, mind still reeling. “We really do.”

It wasn’t long before you both began to drift off to sleep, exhausted. He turned his bedside lamp on and began to clean himself up as the two of you spoke in hushed whispers back and forth. He could hear the tiredness in your voice as you spoke, the raspiness that you always had when you were sleepy. To be honest, he thought it was so cute, and loved hearing you like that.

Silence fell between the two of you after a few minutes more of regular conversation. Talking about your respective days, the hot gossip back home, what’s going on in New York. Then, Steve began to hear what sounded like, well... Faint snores. Soft, faint little snores from your end of the line. He laughed quietly, shaking his head.

“Y/N?” He asked. No response. He decided to stay for a moment longer. “I love you so much... Sleep good, baby girl. I’ll be home tomorrow.”

[askbittyerror]

Wedding RP part 13 (end)

AskbittyerrorToday at 12:46 PM Their hand dips where it touches. "Well, I think I'm missing a rib, but I'm pretty sure I took off a chunk of Pal's arm somewhere in there, so I think we're even." He gently nuzzles their head, pressing a kiss to their hair. "My soul is fine, beloved."

with-bells-uponToday at 12:48 PM Relief, so deep their whole body says a little. They nuzzle him with a gentle whisper of okay... though missing a rib, isn't exactly dismissable. "You, came close to corrupting again."

AskbittyerrorToday at 12:54 PM "That would explain why my mouth tastes like Nightshade." Magnus grumbles. "...I wish that would stop happening."

with-bells-uponToday at 12:57 PM "...I'm not going to ask how you know what he tastes like." It's an attempt at humor, if a little forced. a kiss for their beloved's forehead, and a whisper of, "I'm just grateful you're relatively okay, beloved. you have me a real scare there."

AskbittyerrorToday at 1:02 PM "One time I grabbed one of his tentacles and bit it, just to piss him off. Got slapped across the room, but still, worth it." He hugs them tight. "Yeah, yeah I know. Sorry, babe."

with-bells-uponToday at 1:12 PM A squeeze, and a soft nuzzle. "Its okay. as long as you're both okay? That's all that matters." A pause, as they look up at Huitzi. "Pal is okay, right?"

AskbittyerrorToday at 1:46 PM Huitzi looks up from where he is comforting a sobbing bundle of feathers. "...physically, yes."

with-bells-uponToday at 1:47 PM "...thanks, Huitzi." a nod, turning their attention back to Pal. "your call, what to do now, beloved."

AskbittyerrorToday at 1:56 PM “Pal?” Magnus says. A short pause, then the bundle shakes, wailing. “Pal.” Magnus frowns. “I’m not upset.” More wailing. “Zi?” Magnus looks at him. “Can you put him down?” “If you are sure.” Huitzi gently places Paladin on the ground, the brothers about a foot apart.

with-bells-uponToday at 1:58 PM A nuzzle for their mate, before letting go- albeit reluctantly. They want the two to make up, to be okay... they, also just want to not let him budge for about a month, so they can hug him until theyre able to convince themself he's okay.

AskbittyerrorToday at 2:21 PM “Pal.” Magnus walks over, sitting by his brother, gently parting his wings. “C’mon.” Paladin whines, eyes squeezed shut, shaking. “Hey.” Magnus cups his cheeks, tilting his head up. “Paladin. Look at me.” His voice is calm, but commanding. Paladin’s eyes open and he immediately chokes on a sob and tries to wrench his face away. Magnus doesn’t let him. “Paladin.” The Nightmare is stern. “Listen to me. I am not upset. Our biology is fucky, and it messed with both of us. It’s not your fault.” “I- I could’ve killed you!” Paladin sobs. “But you didn’t.” Magnus presses their foreheads together, aura and eyes glowing, reaching out, searching for its match. Paladin’s aura hesitantly answers, the two winding together, his glow identical to his brother’s. “B- Brother…” Paladin tries to pull away. “I- I don’t- I can’t-” “Hey.” Magnus shushes him, his aura like a warm hug. “I still love you, nothing is ever going to change that.” Paladin wails and yanks his brother to his chest, wings wrapped tight around him. “It’s okay.” Magnus purrs softly, rubbing his shaking back. “It’s okay.”

with-bells-uponToday at 2:26 PM So. Much. Relief. Blue takes the opportunity to push to their feet, and head to the pair of goopdads, hoping against all odds that they too managed to get through the situation relatively intact. "Licorice? Domino?"

AskbittyerrorToday at 2:33 PM "Hey kiddo." Domino smiles at them, the pair looking a little brown but intact.

with-bells-uponToday at 2:38 PM "..." Blue immediately hugs both. Carefully. "Hey," they whisper, nuzzling first one, then the other. "Thank you for saving Pal from-" a pause, uncertain who they'd saved him from.

AskbittyerrorToday at 2:45 PM "No problem." Domino hugs tight, Licorice nuzzling. "Like hell we were gonna let our golden dumbass get his ass kicked by another Nightmare." Licorice huffs.

with-bells-uponToday at 2:49 PM a sound of amusement, of affection, and of gratitude. "good, can't exasperate the guy if he's broken in two."

AskbittyerrorToday at 2:59 PM "Are you alright?" Domino asks gently, dad mode fully engaged.

with-bells-uponToday at 3:01 PM "...yes. I may wake up from a few nights of rough sleep after that, but yes." A smile, which does seem to reinforce their words, nuzzling. "As long as I've still got everyone accounted for? I'll be fine."

AskbittyerrorToday at 3:23 PM "We'll make sure to stay over for a few days." Domino says. "SLEEPOVER!" Mercury shouts a distance away.

with-bells-uponToday at 3:27 PM "...best family." "..." "Can we please go home now?"

AskbittyerrorToday at 3:30 PM "Of course." Domino nuzzles. "We just need to call Flare. He's our ride."(edited)

with-bells-uponToday at 3:35 PM "okay-" tired enchanter. grateful to have met so much new family? but very ready to crawl into a familiar bed, and snuggle loved ones. "lets do that then. Bells probably won't be back down tonight anyway." A faint smile, remembering the two sappy flirting with each other.

AskbittyerrorToday at 3:38 PM Domino snorts. "Ah, young love." He calls to Huitzi. "Mind summoning our chariot?" "Certainly." Huitzi pulls out his phone, dialing the bigger Dream. He gets no answer. Huitzi frowns, hangs up, and calls again. And again. Still no answer.

with-bells-uponToday at 3:43 PM "..." "Do you think something else happened?"

AskbittyerrorToday at 3:44 PM "...I did feel some flaring auras earlier...." Huitzi looks up.

with-bells-uponToday at 3:45 PM Blue frowns, unsure what that means. "Well... this place is still standing, right? So it couldn't have been... too, bad?" Yeah. Not remotely sure about that.

AskbittyerrorToday at 3:56 PM "I did not feel any deaths, so I think it is fine." Huitzi says.

with-bells-uponToday at 4:03 PM "I guess it's okay then... um, but, now what do we do?" They didn't want to just, walk up and knock on the honeymooners door... wherever that was.

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:06 PM "Surely there are some other guardians we can ask?" Huitzi says hesitantly. "Or askers?" "Might I assist?" Words appear, carved into the floor.

with-bells-uponToday at 4:07 PM "..." Blue takes a small step back. Well, for them it's large, but currently bitty sized. They look from the words, to Domino, to Huitzi.(edited) [4:08 PM] A fairly blatant wtf, albeit unspoken.

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:14 PM The others are frozen, just as confused. "I'm V. Consider me a friend. Would you care for a convenient portal home?"

with-bells-uponToday at 4:24 PM "..." "I swear to someone there was a whole book about why not to trust words that write themself." "...I uh, dont... have any other ideas, though."

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:26 PM A portal opens. "This ones free of charge." The words disappear. [4:26 PM] "...that was ominous." Magnus mutters.

with-bells-uponToday at 4:28 PM "..." "Seriously, there was a book about this, right?" But, again, no choice- they try to peek, and see what's on the other side of the portal. "-i guess... we go through?"

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:30 PM It's just the shop, the backroom specifically. "...hi?" Moose hesitantly waves.

with-bells-uponToday at 4:31 PM "...oh-thank-god-it's-home!" The bitty sized Blue is hugging is ankle. Huh.

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:33 PM "Did something happen?" Moose carefully leans down, offering his hand, the bitties filing through. "Are you alright?" The portal closes. Welcome home.

with-bells-uponToday at 4:35 PM "...am now." they sigh. yes. home.

AskbittyerrorToday at 4:36 PM He pets their head. The family hugs him. Moose is happy, but confused.

[agentkgent]

Song Insp. 1 - “Undrunk”

Inspired by “Undrunk” by FLETCHER; Eddie and Richie are in their freshman years at separate colleges, and broken up since high school (Richie didn’t think long distance would work); Anyway, Eddie sees Richie post photos with a cute boy and he gets drunk and he gets voicemail-happy. Enjoy. (Mild sexual content, some profanity, underage drinking, mention of throwing up, but overall pretty tame; Oh, also Pennywise never existed ok thanx)

Cleaned-up and updated version available on AO3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Please enter your password.]

****

[“Richie Tozier, mothafuckers!” You have. 19. New Voicemails.]

Voicemail 1 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:20 A.M. “Fuck-“ *low thud*

Voicemail 2 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:33 A.M. “Hi fuckface. It’s Eddie Spaghetti ... I fuckin hated that nickname, so it’s PRETTY WEIRD to call myself that, right? ... Like, do you call yourself ‘Trashmouth’? ... *a loud fake “HA!”* ... You probably do, nothing ever fuckin bothers you-”

Voicemail 3 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:43 A.M. “-don’t know why I’m even messing, but I just wanted you to know that this ‘cute little wimpy boy’ as you used to call me is drunk as FUCK right now in a bar full of hot dudes who are all touching me and buying me jello shots and shit-”

Voicemail 4 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:45 A.M. *shuffling noises* “-eriously Bev, FUCK OFF”

“Eddie, give me the phone!”

Voicemail 5 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:50 A.M. “The lovely Beverly Marsh would like me to tell you she says ‘hi’ and that she’s not condoning my bullshit ... but guess what, bitch? I don’t need anyone to condo my bull-” *hiccup* “-shit. Oh no. Oh fuck. How do I get rid of hiccups? BEV-”

Voicemail 6 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:53 A.M. *hiccup* “-ou think you’re the only fuckin person in the universe, you think you’re hot shit. I’m hot shit. I’ve kissed like, A LOT of dudes tonight, how about that?! Okay? They’re all buying me shots and shit and one guy even picked me up. Remember when you did that? Guess what, other guys can do that too! You’re not fucking special-”

Voicemail 7 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:54 A.M. “Richie, it’s Bev ... Hi, I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a while.” *bass rumbles from a song change in the background* “Listen ... I’m sorry about Eddie. He’s upset about something you posted on Instagram earlier today, I didn’t see it, so I don’t know what he’s pissed about. I dunno, it’s none of my business, but he’s just drunk and being stupid. I’ll try to get him to stop calling you ... Um, so, ... I hope you’re doing okay! Like I said, I’m sorry we haven’t, like, talked or anything in a while but I’d love to catch up! Maybe you can come visit NYU sometime? I mean, you can visit me at NYU. I don’t mean-” *a loud, drunk yell* “It’d just be nice to see you, Rich. Text me!”

Voicemail 8 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:56 A.M. “Hey dipshit your voicemail system keeps cutting me off, what the fuck?”

Voicemail 9 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:18 A.M. *silence* ... *a deep breath* ... *shuffling*

Voicemail 10 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:20 A.M. *club music and background noise is gone* *groan* ... “It’s just so fuckin’ easy for you to just MOVE ON, huh? Fucking bullshit. Mr. ‘I Love You But Long Distance Never Works.’ Mr. ‘Oh But This Guys Got Great Hair I’ll Fuck Him.’ He’s ugly, by the way. All the guys you go to school with look fucking ugly online. And you know that I don’t make shit up when I drink tequila, I just get more honest, so those fuckbois are ugly as hell-”

Voicemail 11 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:23 A.M. “I guess the best part of living far, far away from you is forgetting what you look like. Are you even still good-looking? You might be ugly, now too.” *quiet shuffling* ... *tapping noises* “I still got the photos you sent me ... I probably should have deleted them, but I guess I figured if I needed to have ammo ready in case you decided to be a dickhead-”

Voicemail 12 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:26 A.M. “Fuck... I forgot...” *muffled noises* ... *a deep, throaty breath* “Fuck...”

Voicemail 13 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:50 A.M. “Richie, I... I’m sorry ... This just ... Sucks.” *a deep breath* ... *quiet shuffling* “I don’t think it’s worth anything now and I’ve gotta-” *cough*

Voicemail 14 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:14 A.M. *clears throat* “...Well, I feel a little bit better after throwing up ... I’m also now realizing some of the horrible shit I’ve said tonight, so if you stopped listening to these voicemails, I’d understand ... But I’m just ... This is really hard. And I saw that photo of that fuckin guy, and you have your arm around him-”

Voicemail 15 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:15 A.M. “Dude, seriously, what the fuck is your voicemail’s problem? It keeps cutting me off. I’m trying to open up here.”

Voicemail 16 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:28 A.M. *deep breath* “I’m sorry. This is stupid ... Bye, Rich.”

Voicemail 17 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:57 A.M. *quiet sob* “I just... I wish I never met you, sometimes.” *sniffle* “Because now I always compare everyone to you ... And you’re gone, we’re done, like I get it. But it just sucks ... I really wish I could just like, ‘un-fuck’ you. You’re all I can think about when I - ... I hate that I miss you so much. I hate that I drank so much and got so fuckin- ugh, god, I kissed strangers.”

Voicemail 18 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 4:01 A.M. “This is gonna be the biggest regret of my fucking life, leaving you 300 voicemails. Please don’t abuse this. I’m not proud of it.”

Voicemail 19 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 4:31 A.M. “Yeah, jus-” *soft thuds* “Just tell him-” *gentle taps* 

“Rich? It’s Bev again. Hey, so. I’m with Eddie now, I’m making sure he gets to bed and doesn’t choke on his own puke. He said he’s really sorry. Um, but yeah, please don’t humiliate him? He’s kind of an emotional mess. Sorry again.” *shuffling noises* “Jesus, Eddie! How many voicemails did you leave him? He’ll probably send the police looking for us-”

[End of messages. To save messages, press-] *beep*

[Messages saved.]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eddie’s head is pounding as his ears recognize the familiar digital noise ringing next to him. He instinctively picks up his phone and checks his screen.

*Incoming Facetime request from Richie Tozier*

He thinks he might throw up.

*Accept* and the video call connects.

“...Before you say anything, I’m paying for it dearly.” Eddie groans.

His eyes focus on the figure on his screen. It’s obnoxiously close and familiar and makes Eddie ashamed of himself. Richie doesn’t say anything. He just raises his eyebrows and waits for Eddie to say... something?

“And... I’m sorry, Rich.” Eddie rubs sleep from his eyes and feels a strong ache developing in his skull. “I’m an asshole. I’m really sorry. I’ll leave you alone forever now, bye-”

“Eddie!” Richie interrupts ferociously. “You left me. Almost 20 voicemails. What the fuck is your problem? Do you understand that when you leave 20 voicemails for someone, they’re gonna think you’re dead? Or kidnapped? Or trapped under a fallen vending machine, or some shit?!”

“Okay well, if I was kidnapped, it wouldn’t have done me any good. Why didn’t you answer?”

Richie scoffs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Fuck off. First of all, you really think this would go any better if you’d talked to me?”

Eddie swallows. “No.”

“And SECONDLY, I left my phone at Stan’s house. We watched Zombeavers and I had my phone on silent.”

“...What the hell is Zombeavers?”

“Eddie are you fucking serious? Don’t ever fucking do that to me again!” He spits faster than anything Eddie’s heard him say and brushes his curls away from his face. “Thank your lucky stars that Beverly was taking care of you. I talked to her this morning.”

Eddie swipes down on his screen to check the time. 1:01 p.m.

“Goddamn it.” Eddie moans. His head is the swampiest he’s ever felt. Like his brain is sloshing around in alcohol. He gags visibly at the thought.

“Whatever you’re feeling, you deserve ten times worse.”

Eddie wipes his mouth and fidgets with his hair, brushing it away from his increasingly warm face. “Okay, I get it. I’m fucking sorry.” He can feel tears forming behind his eyes. “I’m fucking sorry. I was a drunk idiot. I was a jealous asshole and I need to mind my own fucking business.”

Richie doesn’t respond.

Eddie suspects the conversation is concluding, so he prepares to hang up as fast as he can say ‘goodbye’-

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“What?”

Richie sighs. “The guy in the Instagram photo isn’t my boyfriend, I haven’t hooked up with him or anything. He’s Stan’s roommate. He’s also extremely straight. Like, next level hetero. Annoyingly hetero. I really like making him uncomfortable.”

Well, if Eddie didn’t feel ashamed before, he sure fuckin does now.

“Oh.”

“Yep. So, uh. Nothing to get jealous over, Eds.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Still? Can you stop?”

Richie’s face twists in disbelief. “You have no room to tell me to stop anything right now.”

“I’m sorry, though. For being jealous.”

Richie pauses. “It’s okay. A lot of the guys I go to school with are pretty ugly.” He leans away from the phone and shouts, “STANLEY INCLUDED!”

Eddie hears an echoed, “FUCK YOUUUU” from a voice somewhere behind Richie, who laughs. Proud of himself.

Eddie tries to smile, but he’s still empty.

“You have plenty of guys to keep you company, sounds like.” Richie says in a less-than-thrilled tone.

“I gave them pecks on the mouth.” Eddie says without looking back at his phone. “They bought me shots and tried to hit on me, but I don’t want to exchange saliva with strangers. I think I exaggerated in the voicemails, though.”

“Well, you always compare them to me, right? To the Trashmouth?”

Eddie’s own words are restored in his memory. “Jesus christ, I-”

“It’s okay, Eds. After my rage subsided and I talked to Bev and figured out that you were okay, I actually admired the honesty.”

Eddie can’t help but laugh mockingly at himself. “Yeah, that’s me. Super honest. To a fault.”

Richie smiles. “Bev and I talked about hanging out next weekend. Got any plans?”

Eddie’s eyebrow twitches and he looks back to his screen. “What?”

“I’m gonna come up next weekend. Bev invited me to stay for a weekend. I’ve never been to New York.” Richie shrugs.

Eddie can’t form words. He almost forgets that Richie can see him right now via digital video. He shouldn’t want to see Richie, but he does. He knows it now. It’s out of his mouth, out there in the universe. Fuck, it’s recorded in digital audio format.

“Are you free?”

“I uh...” Eddie stutters. “Yeah. Yeah, I- I free.”

“You’re still cute as can be, Eds.” Richie’s smile is sickeningly sweet.

Eddie lets a smile show on his face for a half-second, then presses his lips into a firm line. “Don’t call me Eds.”

Richie’s face changes immediately. “Oh! By the way!” He’s wearing a sleazy grin. “You kept photos of me? ...Like, those photos?”

Eddie has to take a moment to remember.

His face immediately goes neon red at the memory of resurfacing sext pictures and dick pics of Richie that they’d shared their senior years at Derry High School. He’d dug them up in his photo stream and... looked... too long at them. He can’t help but slap his own hand across his expression.

“Dude!” Richie laughs and is fixated on Eddie’s reaction. “Are you serious? You kept those? I thought I was an asshole for keeping a photo of you shirtless. You kept pictures of my dick?”

“Ok.” Eddie tries to punctuate the conversation.

“What else? I think I remember sending you my ass a couple times.”

“Alright, Rich. Don’t rub it in. I’m not proud of what I did.”

Richie pauses. “What do you mean ‘what you did?’”

Eddie feels like he might drop dead from self-inflicted humiliation. He doesn’t respond, he tries to think of a deflect.

“Eddie Kaspbrak...” Richie’s breath hitches in his throat. He’s not smiling. “Did you jerk off last night between voicemails?”

“Okay Rich, I’m sorry again about all the voicemails. But we’re good now, right?” Eddie presses.

“EDDIE DID YOU JERK OFF TO PHOTOS OF ME?” Richie yells, giant grin on his face and his eyes going dark. There’s a muffled, “What the fuck?” that comes from Stanley somewhere in the background, and Eddie is going to throw himself into oncoming traffic because certain death is better than the absolute tormenting embarrassment of this situation.

“You’ll figure everything out with Bev and we’ll see you next weekend, yeah?“ Eddie rushes to end the conversation.

“Hey! What the fuck! All I have is a shirtless pic to work off of, you’ve got like, Spielberg angles on my anatomy!” Richie chuckles. “Send me some new material, fucker!”

“Wow. Oh my god. Okay, good to talk to you, Rich.”

“Eddie.” Richie says, softer.

He looks at his screen one more time. “Yeah?”

“Text me next time?”

[buckysdamnplums]

Babysitting & T-Shirts

Author’s Note: Y’all don’t know how hard it is for me to write Jonathan because my go to ST character is Steve. Like wowza. Anyways, like always, I hope you like it!!!  Also, I wrote in first person for a change.

Prompt: 57-“Is that my shirt?”  65-“ Did you do something different with your hair?” 36-“I’m so in love with you.”

Paring: Jonathan Byers x Reader

Word Count: 1208

Warnings: probably just cussing

The wind started picking up, blowing my hair across my face as I made my way up the Wheeler’s driveway. Pulling my black coat tighter around my chest, I  knocked on the door wishing Nancy would hurry up and let me in. Damn, it was freezing tonight. Whatever, I just needed to get inside and out of this cold. I’d warm up in no time if tonight’s babysitting gig is like the last one, which went a little like me chasing Dustin and Lucas around the house as they tried keeping the “final roll” dice from Mike.  God, I wished Nance didn’t have a date with Steve that night, I really needed an extra hand.

The door swung open pulling me from my thoughts, Mike’s face falling when he realized I wasn’t one of the party.

“Oh, come on in y/n. Nancy’s upstairs if you wanna let her know you’re here.” the young boy shut the door behind me as I started for the stairs.

“Mike! Lock the door before you head back to the living room!” I called out over my shoulder, running up the stairs to Nancy’s room.

“Hey Nance!” I announce my arrival, plopping down at the foot of her bed.

“Hey! Hope you don’t mind, I invited Jonathan over too, to help with the kids.” She kept her focus on the history book in front of her, “Steve told me that Dustin told him that Will was getting a little distant again and I figured he might feel more comfortable ya know? With his brother here and all.”

“Aw man, sucks that he’s getting like that again.. But yeah good call. But dammit Nance you should’ve given me a heads up! Now he’s gonna see me all-”

“Woah! Did you do something different with your hair?! I mean obviously you did, but what did you do?” her eyes nearly shot out of her head as she eyed my new hairdo. I nearly forgot I even got it done.

“Oh uhh yeah. I went for my hair trim today and my stylist, you know Jen. Well anyways, she wanted to try out this new coloring thing she had so I let her at it. It’s not too bad right? Oh god, I hope Jonathan doesn’t think it’s bad.” I rambled on and on about Jonathan so much I’m surprised Nance hasn’t snapped yet. I guess it’s because she knows I listen to her rant about Steve, so we’re practically even.

“Would you cut it out?,” She groans, rising from the bed as we heard voices coming from downstairs signaling more of the kids just arrived. “I swear y/n, you can’t see it but he likes you too. Hell, he probably loves you just as much as you love him. You’re both just too blind to see it.”

She leaves through the door before I even had a chance to process what she just said. There’s no way Jonathan likes, let alone loves, me back. Ugh, this is all too much. I just want to babysit a bunch of twerps playing D&D and get paid.

By the time I got downstairs the whole gang was here and already had their games set up and running. Jonathan was with Nancy in the kitchen so I decided that’s where I should go.

“Hey y/n!” Jonathan smiles as I walk over to him.

“Hey.” I smile back, shifting my gaze to Nancy who was currently looking between Jonathan and I, raising an eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes and make my way back to the living room to hang my coat, I hadn’t even realized I was still wearing it. Jonathan and Nancy followed suit and took seats on the empty couches.

“I rolled a three! That means I’m safe!” Max shouted, oh god here we go…

“No! That means yo-”

“Lucas told me it means I’m safe! You can’t just go changing the rules Mike!”

I can’t help but shake my head at their bickering. Those two will be the end of me. Turning back around I decide to interject my own opinion.

“From the looks of it, seems to me that Lucas is the one who was actually in the wrong here.” I raise my brow at Lucas, who’s now being stared down by both Mike and Max. “But! Who actually cares since this round doesn’t count. So shut it.”

“How does she know it doesn’t count?” Will asked, brows furrowed together in confusion.

“Oh I told her. Yeah, she pays attention more than you guys think. I think it’s kind of cool.” Dustin sends you a wide grin, “But she’s right. It doesn’t count do can you dipshits stop yelling and just continue the game?”

Walking past their game, I take a seat next to a wide eyed Jonathan.

“Wow, you really know how to take charge with them, huh?” He questions, laying back into the couch.

“Yeah I guess. I don’t know, they’re all great kids. They just need a firm authoritative figure when things get a bit shouty.” I laugh, turning to see his brows furrowed in confusion. With this expression, him and Will look so alike.

“Is that my shirt?” He points to The Clash t-shirt I was wearing.

“Oh yeah, I think so. I was spilt cherry soda on myself the other day when I was watching the kid’s and Will gave me it to wear.” I felt the blood rush to my face, embarrassment making it’s way in, “Sorry, I probably should’ve given back by now. It’s just super comfortable and one of my favorite now.”

I tried to laugh it off as Jonathan joined me.

“It’s cool. Looks nicer on you than it did on me. You should keep it,” his hand settled on my arm. “I wasn’t sure if you listened to The Crash or if it was mine.”

“Oh don’t let this fool you. I love The Crash so I really lucked out with this one.”

Despite me thinking it was impossible, Jonathan’s smile grew even wider, “God I’m so in love with you.”

The moment those words left his lips my eyes shot wide open and my mouth hung agape. Registering what he just said, Jonathan slaps a hand over his mouth, his eyes shooting as wide as mine.

“Oh my.. Y/N, I’m sorry I don’t know why I-”

“I think I love you too Jonathan.” Cutting him off, I took his hand in mine and laid it on my lap.

“Y/N, you don’t have to say that just because I said it.”

“NO, SHE MEANS IT! SHE’S BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR MONTHS, JUST LIKE YOU’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER!” Nance’s voice ringed from the kitchen.

“Wait, y/n and Jonathan are in love?!” Max’s voice cut off the current arguing about who’s owlbear was better. Suddenly all eyes were on you two, your hands still intertwined on your lap.

Clearing his throat, Jonathan spoke up. “Uhh, yeah I guess we are.” He let out a breathy laugh, turning towards you then back to the group.

“Well, I’m just glad you guys finally picked up on it.” Will stated, turning back to the cards in his hand.

[meowingatthesea]

All the questions!!!

all of them? Oh geeze okay! 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?nope sorry Charlie2. You talked to an ex today, correct?how do you define ex? cause ive talked to someone I broke up with and then got back together with 3. Have you taken someones virginity?nope4. Is trust a big issue for you?yeah trust is very important and hard to earn for me 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?Saw them last Sunday!6. What are you excited for?uh Deutschlager should be fun hopefully maybe I’m also hella stressed about it though 7. What happened tonight?answered already 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?No? I mean I get concerned for their health but its not disgusting and its their choice 9. Is confidence cute?yes10. What is the last beverage you had?a warm juice box 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?nah I don’t feel like defining my friends by sexual organs rn 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?no way13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?zone out as I scroll on Tumblr as I try and forget the SAT I just took and the evening I spent with extended family 14. What are you going to spend money on next?already answered 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?yup! 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?clothing? Yes. Dramatic personality shift? No. Minor changes? Oh for sure 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?A few of my friends 18. The last time you felt broken?last tuesday night 19. Have you had sex today?nah dude 20. Are you starting to realize anything?that even the most well intentioned teachers suck and I shouldn’t have done the IB program. Also that talking about the holocaust in German class is AWKWARD 21. Are you in a good mood?already answered 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?yeah I don’t know the meaning of fear or stupidity23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?I think?24. What do you want right this second?im in a library and perfectly content to say nothing 25. What would you say if the person you like kissed another girl/boy?a) I’d be surprised theyre not that type of person b) I’d shrug and say “yeah that’s fair I’ve done it enough”26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?yup 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?not at all 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?already answered 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?see that’s the issue with having friends all across the country you’re always missing someone 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?no 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no. He’s not my favorite and he needs to learn that poking me is not an appropriate greeting but nah he’s chill. 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?we’re dating I sure hope so 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?I don’t drink regular but that’s cause diabetes. I drink diet though 34. Listening to?@allhailthejellybeanmonarch’s spotify playlist 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?already answered 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?probably chilling with their dog at their house? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?no 38. Who did you last call?my grandparents to see if I could get a ride home from school 39. Who was the last person you danced with?My mom, at my cousin’s bar mitzvah 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?I’m dating them and they’re cute?41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Valentine’s day my school gives out free cupcakes then42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?already answered 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?okay buddy so my datemate and I met in kindergarten, and I promptly made them hate me from 2nd-8th grade, so yeah you could say that. 44. Do you tan in the nude?No 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?nope 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?not last night 47. Who was the last person to call you?some random ass number that I don’t know and ignored 48. Do you sing in the shower?YES49. Do you dance in the car?already answered 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?a life goal for a solid 6 years was to be Artemis so yes 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?2 weeks ago at my cousin’s bar mitzvah 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?BUDDY HAVE YOU LOOKED AT MY BLOG 53. Is Christmas stressful?any season dedicated to goysiche nonsense is 54. Ever eat a pierogi?yeah they’re okay55. Favorite type of fruit pie?pecan isn’t a fruit but pecan 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?already answered 57. Do you believe in ghosts?depends on the day 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?yup. 59. Take a vitamin daily?yup. 60. Wear slippers?nope. 61. Wear a bath robe?some times. 62. What do you wear to bed?NFTY NW sweats and a leopard print button down 63. First concert?already answered64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target 65. Nike or Adidas?Neither 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos are the only chips I eat 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Neither 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?no clue 69. Ever take dance lessons?do forced square dance lessons through the public school system count?70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?already answered71. Can you curl your tongue?yes72. Ever won a spelling bee?no 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?I don’t think so74. What is your favorite book?you can’t make me choose75. Do you study better with or without music?with 76. Regularly burn incense?no 77. Ever been in love?already answered78. Who would you like to see in concert?so many people!!! Mostly Broadway people 79. What was the last concert you saw?N/A 80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot always 81. Tea or coffee?tea always I hate coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie?any cookie I don’t care83. Can you swim well?Well enough to not drown 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?already answered85. Are you patient?not at all 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?band 87. Ever won a contest?not that I recall 88. Ever have plastic surgery?No 89. Which are better black or green olives?BLACK 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?its fine dude 91. Best room for a fireplace?already answered92. Do you want to get marriedAt somepoint in the unseen undefined future

Thanks for the ask anon!!!! @ everyone else in sorry for such a long post

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 49 - end

Full video here.

Ch 49: eventually the world breaks everyone

Oranges and deep water again.

She says he can tell her anything “my words aren’t sexy or slick but they are sincere” and I said “aw” out loud

Jaxon killed Hudson!

She says she didn’t believe he meant to and he’s like intentions don’t matter when you can do this and then starts destroying the room

Jaxon is now the soon to be vampire king after killing Hudson

“No one is as powerful as me”

Hudson wanted to get mo money mo power

He literally paraphrases Jurassic park here: he got so wrapped up in the could that he didn’t think about if hen should

Hudson wanted to put the shifters in their place - and then anyone who wasn’t a born vampire - and jaxon considered that genocide

Hudson’s power was mind control

His pain makes her ache more than she even ached for her dead parents who just died last month wtf?!

So people wanna hurt grace because “you’re mine” as jaxon puts it

“We’re balancing on a razor thin tightrope, and every minute is a balancing act.” READ IT OUT LOUD GODDAMN IT

“You wear indifference like a mask, you wield coldness like a weapon.” No one in the history of the world talks like this, especially not someone who was just saying “af and fml” 10 chapters ago 

Ch 50: people who live in stone towers should never throw dragons

They have a real sexy kiss

Jaxon believes flint is trying to kill her!!!! Which yeah now knowing that jaxon killed flints brother or was the reason he died rather, makes sense! Except flint seems to like her too??

Jaxon pushed flint out of the tree under grace

Then they kissing AGAIN SHE IN HIS LAP!!!!!

Her uncle shows up and she tried to fix herself in the mirror but there isn’t one lol

She asks how he can see himself and he says “selfie anyone?” And I throw up

She just referenced baby yoda. G2g

“Thanks for rushing to let me in” “grace had to get her clothes back on” asshole but also lmao

Ch 51: trial by dragon fire

We’re reading hamlet again…

She confronts flint and flint calls jaxon a tick lmaooooo

“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to kill me?” “It’s not for the reasons you think, if you would just trust me” - SIR THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT

We love Mickey so much

Flint doesn’t wanna talk to grace in front of a vampire

Ch 52: if you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

She’s in the tunnel with Mickey and she realizes how much safer she feels with him than flint

She’s realized that her intuition is heightened here you mean that thing you were ignoring this entire book??

Mickey reiterates that Grace is a target because Jaxon cares about her which makes what he was saying about a target on her back make a lot more sense

Mickey pretty much confirms what Jackson said about Hudson so we get to hear it all over again

Leah shows up and her and Mickey don’t like each other

Leah says I’d say bite me but I don’t know where you’ve been and Mickey replies I would catch rabies if I bit you LOL

She hugs Mickey and Mickey pats her head like a dog lmaooooooo

Leah says making plans is not Jackson’s modus operandi instead of just saying his MO like a normal person

She texts him “I like it when you bite” and he replies “good because I like the way you taste” and I threw up in my mouth

Not to mention the fact that she immediately texted Jackson that she would go to his room tonight when she seconds before that agreed to hang out with Leah who is clearly grieving and needs a friend...which is not grace

Ch 53: if this kiss is gonna start a war it may as well be worth it

Grace is getting ready to go to Jackson’s room for their date and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the extremely lax rules regarding girls and boys and every other gender being allowed in each others room it doesn’t make sense why is everyone not pregnant

She puts on one of Macy’s dresses and Macy tugs it down to get it over her “ridiculous curves“ She described her own curves as ridiculous and I am all for being body positive but saying you have a banging ass is a little much

Macy says that grace “lusts after Jackson’s sexy sexy body”

I will say that I am 100% here for the sex positivity rather than the tortured virgin shit we dealt with for all of the twilight series

Ch 54: what could possibly be more interesting than kissing me?

It’s the northern lights!!!!!!

“Wrapping his arms around me so that I am snuggled up in the blanket and his arms“ once again for the love of God read it out loud and realize that using the same word that close in one sentence is clunky and distracting please

She says they kiss “until the colors behind my eyes are brighter than the aurora borealis, until it feels like I’m flying“

He takes her like 100 feet above the castle so that they feel like they’re within the northern lights

And they stay up there for a long time and again I just want to know why he wasn’t just a witch I don’t understand

She says Jackson drops kisses on her eyes that’s not how that works

He gives her a necklace with an Aurora borealis stone how cute!

She says “it’s beautiful” and he says “then you’re well matched” which is so cute and then she says “oh my god you’re sappy” and he says “well you’re ridiculously beautiful”

and again we were so close and then we tripped at the finish line

He makes her tea to warm her up (Leah’s tea aw they’re making amends)

He sex bites her again, she begs for it

And then loses his shit?!?

Ch 55: no use crying over spilled tea

So he bit her and drank a lot of her blood because she’s super woozy and she’s like I got to get out of here not so I can live but because if he kills me he will feel really bad about it self-preservation has left the chat

She runs into Leah and Leah smacks the shit out of her and then tells her to sit down...what?!

I thought Leah poisoned the tea earlier in the book I am calling it now that she put something in the tea to make Jackson lose his shit

Leah pulls out a gun and shoots Jackson…

Ch 56: vampire girl gone wild

Leah shoots her with the gun

Ch 57: double double toil and a whole lotta trouble

I’m just gonna say that the moment Leah mentioned that she and Jackson were supposed to carry on an ancient vampire alliance by being together that Grace should have known not to fuck with Leah on any level

Grace wakes up tied to some kind of slab

“For the first time I understand why an animal caught in a trap would be willing to chew its own foot off” but then she continues it with more long winded explanation of what that means when that would’ve been a very powerful line to just leave on its own conveying her desperation

She gets a hand free, then the other, the one ankle, then she hears Leah scream

She’s super woozy and trying to escape but she hears Leah screaming and fighting with someone and she decides to go see if it’s Jackson if he needs her help... how in the fuck are you going to help anybody, Grace

The candles all light at once

Ch 58: never do a trust fall with someone who can fly

There’s a dragon after her!

So for some reason the author decided to take any sort of tension/ horror/ fear out of this section and just ramble on and on about “I’m really tired of getting dragged around by supernatural creatures and San Diego never seemed so far away” just focus on the terror this could be really really scary being flown around in a dragons talons while a vampire chases after you

They fall and she hurts her shoulder

“And here I thought Alaska would be boring” you know what is boring? this entire chapter because instead of letting me the reader sit in the terror and tension of a dragon vampire battle you keep making fucking little quips and remarks like...she’s a human being she should be afraid not like irritated by the situation

Leah punches a hole through flints wing ouch

“The tunnel that will take me back to the school’s main building, the tunnel that will take me back to Katmere“ that’s the same sentence twice John Mulaney voice

Flint stops her from leaving: Leah killed her parents to get her here, for some kind of end the world ritual, that jaxon is involved

Flint starts choking her “you have to die before she can finish this”

Ch 59: carpe killem

No!

Jaxon gets flint off grace via tk

“He just stares down a freaking dragon like it’s a gecko”

Leah catches up with her

Ch 60: some call it paranoia but I call it an evil bitch trying to use you as a sacrifice

….that’s a paragraph

“Which dazes my already not functioning so great brain” i’m not gonna say it again read your writing out loud

Leah is dragging her by her hair and she’s like if I survive this I hope I’m not bald afterward...that’s what you’re worried about??

As she’s being walked down this Secret hallway by Leah she’s getting more and more mad thinking about how Leah killed her parents and is playing God with her life now and I’m just wondering why does she just believe Flint out of nowhere?

She says FML and Leah’s too

She smashes Leah’s head on the altar and goes for the book on the altar, and burns the spell

Ch 61: sticks and stones may break your bones, but vampires will kill you

Leah wants to bring Hudson back by killing grace, who she says is not human

Jaxon gets in

We use the word sickening 4 times during one fight scene, casual

Ch 62: where there’s smoke, there’s a dead vampire

She breathes in the black Hudson smoke but jaxon stops her

Jaxon creates like a vortex to absorb it instead

He throws it at Leah and she turns to dust?!

She gives him her blood because he’s practically dead

Ch 63: a bite to remember

Gooooo fuck yaself

She’s been asleep in the infirmary for 2 days

He’s feeling all angsty about drinking so much of her blood

His mom left the scar on his face not Hudson

They say they love each other but he says he doesn’t think this can work because there’s still gonna be people who want to hurt her because of him

But she’s able to kind of convince him to let himself be loved

Ch 64: all’s well that ends with marshmallows

Civil twilight AGAIN

they go into the forest and drink hot cocoa

So the school only serves animal blood, which allows the vampires to go out during the day, but if they drink human blood, they can only come out at night

And he explains it like an insulin spike, except a spike in a hormone that makes it impossible for him to be in the sun

They’re out there to build a snowman

“Openly checking out his very fine ass” EW jimmy fallon voice

Ch 65: why can’t a girl just have an ordinary HEA these days?

“Hey you didn’t tell me the punchline of the pirate joke”

Suddenly Hudson is there with a sword, and she turns jaxon so she’s between him and the sword and this happens in like 3 sentences

Ch 66: zero - she persisted - Jaxon

Grace has turned into…?

A gargoyle!?!?!?!?

Because she’s trying to trap Hudson or keep him at bay?

And jaxon vows to save her

We used all of the fucks allowed in this one chapter, for sure

What the fuuuuuuuck

[oukis]

read at your own risk

if you want to experience true hell read below the read more

On 1/27/17, at 10:31 AM, shrekugami nerd wrote:

> i need to know how mermaids have sex it's killing me

On 2/20/17, at 3:37 PM, Jo Kay wrote:

> Do gods even have poopholes

On 2/20/17, at 5:47 PM, emily | scarf wrote:

> it’s very important to Kermit that Yato’s buttcheeks maintain maximum suppleness

On 2/25/17, at 8:58 PM, bluism wrote:

> pip spray me with the holy water of kinkshame after tonight bc im about to write pure sin

On 2/25/17, at 11:23 PM, Wolf wrote:

> Nuns don't have sex Blue

On 4/14/17, at 12:33 PM, maddie wrote:

> if I get pizza am I consuming the milk of cows meant to nourish their precious children but instead used for my sick pleasure

On 4/18/17, at 10:57 PM, maddie wrote:

> why don't i have a wife in this chat. is it my nipples

On 4/18/17, at 11:48 PM, maddie wrote:

> can we just add them so i can show my dick hand and them sleep in peace

[13:03] Sunny not Sunhee: when you get fed far too much extremely good food and you wonder if you're a lamb being prepared for slaughter. Oh well at least I know I'll be a tasty Indian lamb curry

On 4/23/17, at 4:11PM, Gio wrote:

> can this chat go a full day without someone saying the word vore

On 4/23/17, at 11:19 PM, emily | scarf wrote:

> maybe the real hafuri was all the kinks we shamed along the way

On 4/24/17, at 11:14 PM, maddie wrote:

> maybe i really was easter sex

maddie - Today 8:28 PM

> to be fair everytime i accidentally taste my pills i feel like I've just given satan a rimjob

I N K- Today 9:08 PM > Ohmygosh I have to tell you the time I had to explain to my mom about alien sex in space

On 4/30/17, at 1:02 PM, maddie wrote:

> my nipples are better protecrted than the gods greatest secret excuse you

[5/1/17, 1:25:26 PM] maddie: after i showed u my dick hand

[5/1/17, 1:25:32 PM] paperypiper: doc

[5/1/17, 1:25:43 PM] maddie: pls pip my dick hand is already in there once

[5/1/17, 1:25:52 PM] maddie: i don't want this to be the new nipples

On 5/5/17, at 12:54 AM, Gio wrote:

> i leave for a few hours and scarf has new kinks

On 5/10/17, at 10:11 PM, Mrs. 707 wrote:

> omg I only introduced myself as daddy LETS TRY THIS AGAIN HI NUGG I'M ALIA

On 5/10/17, at 10:16 PM, maddie wrote:

> I never talk about my nipples!!! I have to protect them because you all are always bringing them up

> defend their honor

maddie - Today 9:20 PM

> I have the healthiest vagina here I bet

[10:13:22 PM] maddie: every time i see an uncircumcised penis i want to cry they're so beautiful

On 5/24/17, at 6:41 PM, shanna ☆ wrote:

> reverse vore is making a baby and giving birth through your mouth

On 25/5/17, at 22:18 PM, emily | scarf wrote:

> gotta fuck the cupcake

On 5/30/17, at 21:59, maddie wrote:

>yato looks oddly calm and placid for being taken from the back either kermit has a small peen or yato has a gaping asshole

On 5/31/2017, at 23:37, bluism wrote:

> why make a competition out of those two presidents when Obama was the daddiest of them all

yatorihell - Today 4:30 PM

> IF GAME OF THRONES FINAL SEASON GETS DELAYED TO 2019 IM OIGN TO RIP MY TITS OFF

Wolf - Today 5:58 PM

>The only day where you can kinkshame me, get it while it's hot

On 6/5/17, at 8:58 PM, maddie wrote:

> gio half of me want to make sweet and passionate love to you behind a dumpster at taco bell and the other half wants to kill you

On 6/10/17, at 12:50 AM, maddie wrote:

> someone had to lovingly shade the clefts in those ass cheeks

On 6/11/17, at 9:31 PM, paperypiper wrote:

> nug he fucked the chicken

On 6/12/17, at 1:27 PM, Hiyori's gf wrote:

> She's 12 and talking about anal beads please drag her

[19:42:09] Yatorihell: Calm the fuck down you uncouth toddler shit stain

On 6/13/2017, at 9:31, Paperypiper wrote:

> if you're maddie you can shove everything up your ass

On 6/14/2017, at 2:50AM, bluism wrote:

> is it true that when you turn 18 you get free dicks for life

On 6/15/17, at 1:17 AM, briitine wrote:

> I wanna look like a moist biscuit not Sasquatch

On 6/20/17, at 10:20 AM, Yatorihell wrote:

> To aliens maybe humans look like their dicks

On 6/20/2017, at 22:52, maddie wrote:

> hey. asking for a friend. you guys ever get nipple lint

On 6/20/2017, at 22:55, maddie wrote:

> what was that you fucking breaded chicken breast

On 6/20/2017, at 22:55, Maddie wrote:

> I'm going to die alone with only my inverted nipples to keep me company

On 6/20/2017, at 22:57, gio wrote:

> maddie what’s the science behind nipples being the shade of your perfect nude

On 6/21/17, at 10:52 PM, shanna ☆ wrote:

> id rather blow a whale than get humped by a dolphin

[6:27 PM] I N K A Y: When two unicorns are having sex they sound like wind chimes

On 6/25/17, at 9:44 PM, paperypiper wrote:

> fisting isn't important to everyone

On 6/27/17, at 6:11 PM, maddie wrote:

> i hate not being in call but being in the text i feel like a kid with polio in the fifties sitting in a wheelchair while the other children play on the playground

On 6/27/17, at 6:23 PM, shanna ☆ wrote:

> wtf maddie no one gets fisted by Roy mustang but me

On 6/27/17, at 11:52 PM, emily | scarf wrote:

> if you think abt it

> vore is representative of how we are all devoured by the dominant ideological hegemonies of capitalism,

> ....

> hot

6/30/2017, at 10:57 PM, Yatorihell wrote:

> sword or dagger

Bluism: > whichever is least painful to shove up my ass I guess

7/3/2017, at 16:19, emily|scarf wrote:

> sleeping with Gio was soft and warm like a mash potato

On 7/6/17, at 7:40 PM, bluism wrote:

> I'm going to lick his nipple tassel  and you can’t stop me

On 7/11/17, at 10:39 AM, Yatorihell wrote:

> FUCK YOU MY AUTOPUSSY IS INDESTRUCTIBLE

On 7/11/17, at 9:20 PM, shanna ☆ wrote:

> my toddler vagina creates miracles

On 7/19/17, at 10:09 PM, scarf | emily wrote:

> I come back to noragami height discourse and daikoku's lethal dick

On 7/22/17, at 23:01, maddie wrote:

> if donuts weren't meant to be fucked why do they have holes

On 7/31/17, at 18:41, blusim wrote:

>I love voring my loved ones

On 8/2/17, at 4:23 PM, maddie wrote:

> real sex is sobbing in the missionary position for the 2 minutes it takes to come

On 8/5/17, at 4:16 PM, bluism wrote:

> who's my baby daddy? the lord

On 8/7/17, at 18:15, Bluism wrote:

do yiu thubk hiyori's tail workds like a dick

On 8/12/17, at 10:39 PM, bluism wrote:

> im only a hoe for one man and that's the lord

On 8/12/17, at 10:42 PM, bluism wrote:

> bitch catch me at a church sucking sin from both men and women left and right

On 8/14/17, at 10:21 PM, jay wrote:

> i'm gonna start a gofundme to help achieve my dream of being vored by a giant plush shark

On 8/18/17, at 12:09 PM, Yatorihell wrote:

> vore, pip, vore

On 8/18/17, at 12:13 PM, scarf | emily wrote:

> Nevore

On 8/19/17, at 1:14 PM, bluism wrote:

> i birthed the lord jesus christ you judas believer

[On 8/29/17, at 4:17 PM],Wolf wrote:

> The three nippleteers

On 9/10/17, at 12:24 AM, maddie wrote:

> anyways i'm done eating ham straight from the bag in my underwear in the kitchen at midnight

On 9/19/17, at 11:04 PM, maddie wrote:

> i type with my nipples first

On 9/23/17, at 12:56 PM, Mrs. 707 wrote:

> nope im saving myself for satan

On 9/23/17, at 5:51 PM, soukohoe wrote:

> no that's illegal in the state of Texas as both homicide and incest

On 9/25/17, at 12:29 AM, vore queen wrote:

> I came here to sin and vore and I'm all vored out

On 9/26/17, at 1:24 PM, maddie wrote:

> anna is leonardo davinci and i am leonardo doujinshi

On 9/26/17, at 9:51 PM, I N K wrote:

> You don't have to buy dead bodies, you just make them

On 11/2/17, at 12:01 AM, maddie wrote:

> you come into my home on the day of my lamppost orgy

On 11/2/17, at 12:01 AM, gio wrote:

> also unrelated to fucking lamps but i found this really neat shark onesie at target today let me show you

On 11/2/17, at 9:07 PM, paperypiper wrote:

> scarf your giving tree smut crashed my wifi

[retroghoul]

1-92 please :)

[foreverrosaliesbitch]

Prompt list

please take note NONE OF THESE ARE MINE i’ve only taken a few from random blogs around tumblr so i dont own any of these prompts im juts browwowing them and using them if anyone had a problem with that please message me privatly. 

secondly when requestting using the prompts plase include 

1. pairing eg. Jasperxoc EmmettxRosaliexchildoc 

2. the prompt number eg. C.127 and b.12 (note plese refrain from using any more than 3 prompts per request but feel free to request different ideas as many time as you like)

note there are 3 seprate prompt list A, B and c so when reqeusting add what letter A.6 C.89

_______________________________________________________________________

PROMPT LIST A

1.     “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 

2.     “Define normal.” 

3.     “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 

4.     “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 

5.     “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 

6.     “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 

7.     “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 

8.     “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 

9.     “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 

10.   “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 

11.   “Were you dropped on your head?” 

12.   “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 

13.   “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 

14.   “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 

15.   “If I survive, can I go home?” 

16.   “My middle finger salutes you.” 

17.   “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 

18.   “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 

19.   “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 

20.   “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 

21.   “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

22.   “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 

23.   “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 

24.   “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 

25.   “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 

26.   “I need therapy after this.” 

27.   “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 

28.   “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 

29.   “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 

30.   “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 

31.   “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 

32.   “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 

33.   “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 

34.   “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 

35.   “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 

36.   “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 

37.   “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 

38.   “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 

39.   “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 

40.   “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 

41.   “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 

42.   “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 

43.   “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 

44.   “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 

45.   “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

46.   “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 

47.   “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 

48.   “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 

49.   “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 

50.   “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 

51.   “I like you. You’re different.” 

52.   “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 

53.   “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 

54.   “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 

55.   “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 

56.   “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 

57.   “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 

58.   “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 

59.   “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 

60.   “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 

61.   “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 

62.   “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 

63.   “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 

64.   “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 

65.   “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 

66.   “The girl is strange no question.” 

67.   “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 

68.   “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 

69.   “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 

70.   “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

71.   “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 

72.   “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

73.   “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 

74.   “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 

75.   “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 

76.   “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 

77.   “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 

78.   “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 

79.   “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 

80.   “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 

81.   “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 

82.   “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 

83.   “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

84.   “That’s starting to get annoying”

85. “Hey,     hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

PROMPT LIST B

“You     can’t just sit there all day.”

“I’m     too sober for this.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You     can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

“The     ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“She’s     hiding behind the sofa.”

“I lost     our baby.”

“They’re     so cute when they’re asleep.”

“Good     thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“What’s     the matter, sweetie?”

“You’re     Satan.”

“I     don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”

“I’m     bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”

“Did     you just hiss at me?”

“I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”

“The     diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“Be     you. No one else can.”

“I     haven’t slept in ages.”

“I     locked the keys in the car.”

“Are     you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

“Why can’t you appreciate my sense of     humor?”

“The     kids, they ambushed me.”

“Sorry     isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”

“Stop     being so cute.”

“I feel     like I can’t breathe.”

“You     need to see a doctor.”

PROMPT LIST C

“I was   a joke, baby. I swear.”

“Dogs  don’t wear clothes!”

“I  didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

“Safety  first. What are you? FIVE?”

“This   is girl talk, so leave.”

“Where  am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

“There’s  a herd of them!”

“Do you  think I’m scared of a woman?”

“I’m late.”

“Just     get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

“You     smell like a wet dog.”

“I     could punch you right now.”

“Are     you going to talk to me?”

“Welcome     back. Now fucking help me.”

“If you     can’t sleep…we could have sex?”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

“How     could I ever forget about you?”

“You’re     bleeding all over my carpet.”

“Run     for it!”

“We     need to talk.”

“Not     everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”

“I want     a pet.”

“Just     smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

“I’m     not wearing a dress.”

“I’m     not wearing a tie.”

“Quit     beating me up!”

“Please     put your penis away.”

“It’s a     Texas thing.”

“Don’t     argue. Just do it.”

“I hope     I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“Does     he know about the baby?”

“Hold     still.”

“Enough with the sass!”

“Show     me what’s behind your back.”

“Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

“I’m     telling you. I’m haunted.”

“I had     a bad dream again.”

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay     here tonight.”

“Please     don’t walk out of that door.”

“I     thought things were going great.”

“Don’t     you love me?”

“You     make every day worth living.”

“I’ll     keep you warm.”

“I’m     never letting you go.”

“You     meant too much to me.”

“I     won’t let you.”

“How     could you ask me that?”

“Don’t     you trust me?”

“I     won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You     look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t     you be with him/her?”

“I’ve     got you.”

“I     can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s     late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How     are you feeling today?”

“You     look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll     figure this out.”

“This     isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s     cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna     go grab a drink?”

“What     the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here,     let me help you.”

“Kiss     me.”

“I care     about you.”

“You     could have warned me!”

“That     was unexpected.”

“You     haven’t lost me.”

“Why     are you doing this?”

“Don’t     cry.”

“Please     don’t do this.”

“You     make me feel safe.”

“You’ve     shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank     you, for everything.”

“All I     wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I     can’t do this on my own.”

“I     wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t     be afraid.”

“You’re     always on my mind.”

“You     have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve     always felt like home.”

“I     can’t imagine this world without you.”

“You     make me feel alive.”

“I     wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who     cares about what they think?”

“Let’s     go.”

“I’m     not going anywhere.”

“Tell     me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve     always got me.”

“I’ve     waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is     this okay?”

“You     look like you could use a hug.”

“Did     you need something?”

“Do you     have a ride home?”

“I am     home.”

“What     happened back there?”

“That’s     not gonna happen.”

“Why     me?”

“I’m     right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What     do you want me to say?”

“After     everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve     been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You     need sleep.”

“Excuse     me?”

“What     are you doing?”

“What     did you expect?”

“You’re     not alone.”

“We’re     meant for each other.”

“You’re     worth it.”

“I     don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve     always been honest with you.”

“It’s     cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just     breathe, okay?”

“When     I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going     somewhere?”

“Don’t     lie to me.”

“Don’t     be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re     so adorable.”

“I’m     better, now that you’re here.”

“I     could never forget you.”

“Forget     it.”

“That’s     in the past.”

“You     make me happy.”

“You’re     more than that.”

“I     won’t lose you too.”

“Come     cuddle.”

“Can’t     you stay a little longer?”

“It’s     not that easy.”

“I’ve     had enough.”

“I fell     in love with you, not them.”

“You’re     the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

“It     wasn’t your fault.”

“You     love me as if I deserve you.”

“This     isn’t what it looks like.”

“I     didn’t know you could dance like that!”

“I     found it in the recycling bin.”

“I know     what I want, when I want it. So get over here.”

“This     is… exactly what it looks like.”

“There’s     so much blood.”

“You     should see me in my old uniform. I’m pretty sure it still fits.”

“I know     you really want to hang it on the wall, but…”

“We bet and you lost, so you have to do     it.”

“Is     that a tattoo?”

“I     could tell it was your favorite book because of all the notes you wrote in     the margins.” 

“What     do you think?  Is purple my color?”

“That     is way too expensive.” 

“Girls     night in?”

“I     never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”

“I was     scared and I ran.”

“I’m     yours, in every way you’ll have me.”

“You might not like me, but you     definitely want me.”

“I want     to hike up your skirt and take you right here.”

“I love you. I just love her more.”

“A     package arrived for you, but there’s no return address and the box looks     really old.”

“If I     die, I’m going to haunt you.”

“I     didn’t say “sex party” as in orgy.  I said “hex party” as in     witches.”

“You     wanted me to walk in on you.”

“This     is a totally inappropriate soundtrack.”

“Let’s     get wasted and then go piss on his grave.”

“I     scalped my Hamilton tickets to pay for it.”

“Hold     my hand until it’s over?”

“If you     want to get me naked, you’ll have to convince me it’ll be worth my time.”

“I’m a     level 72 Rogue and if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it and I will kill you.”

[garden-of-succulents]

I was trying to put some of Bitty’s tweets in order for a small screencap but then it just turned out to be easier??? to format the entire month of March 2016??? IDEK a little bit of computer code is a dangerous thing to know

ANYWAY. As available here, except in chronological order, here are Bitty’s most recently-released tweets:

1  @omgcheckplease:  I refuse to talk about politics, but I literally let out a sigh of relief when coach told me who he voted for. <3 THANKS, POP!

2  @omgcheckplease:  Personally? I'd teach the finer workings of Samwell hockey anywhere but on that upholstered cesspool we call a couch, but I trust Lardo.

3  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: And if someone's late you just write it down. If someone doesn't show let RH know. Ford: RH. RansomHolster. Got it. Lardo: 'swawes.

4  @omgcheckplease:  Ford: Right. I get that it's positive? But why do you guys say 'swawesome? Me: You'll find something weirder to worry about soon enough.

5  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: Hey, Las Vegas is playing Providence tonight. Dex: Uh oh. Jack versus Parse. Dex: I'm obvs rooting for Jack but that should be good.

6  @omgcheckplease:  I shouldn't be thinking about jam this much, but here I am. Thank my wonderful aunt.

7  @omgcheckplease:  NHL players like pie--but also mason jars filled w/ jam prepared according to an old family & aunt-perfected recipe. (A lil' bird told me.)

8  @omgcheckplease:   But when your friend asks you to make a batch, does he mean enough for his team? Does that include the coaching staff?

9  @omgcheckplease:  Whew! Now I can hit the hay. #PVDFalconers!

10  @omgcheckplease:  What Ransom &I Talk About: - Hockey / The underclassmen - Life plans - Music - Dating and significant others. - Alexei Mashkov's instagram

11  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: I had a date to homecoming my senior year, but before that I was homecoming alone. Nursey: PFFFFFT. Dex: Jesus, Tango. Chowder:...OH

12  @omgcheckplease:  Picked up my phone to capture that poor child Tango's words in tweet form.

13  @omgcheckplease:  The #GoPVDFalconers appreciate their fans; I appreciate the #GoPVDFalconers; I therefore appreciate all Falconers fans!! <3

14  @omgcheckplease:  I'm nervous because I'm always nervous before hockey...but I've never seen Ransom and Holster so jittery.

15  @omgcheckplease:  But for good reason. #ECACHockey QTR Finals, here we come.

16  @omgcheckplease:  I'm excited for my day or three of visiting a special someone (<3), but I need to give this team 100% of my focus. #SamwellMensHockey

17  @omgcheckplease:  #GotYourBack

18  @omgcheckplease:  Tough loss. Thank you to everyone who made it out. #samwellhockey #ECACHockey

19  @omgcheckplease:  It's good to have someone who understands and can talk you through a loss, get you grounded for the next game. <3

20  @omgcheckplease:  Getting pump up texts from former teammates is one thing; getting texts from pros with no Samwell affiliation is another! #GoPVDFalconers

21  @omgcheckplease:  Y'all've seen Tater's instagram--I'm still not sure what all those parenthesis are supposed to mean???

22  @omgcheckplease:  Hey, y'all. Thanks so much to everyone who supported us this season! All the love in the stands and around campus means everything. <3

23  @omgcheckplease:  I'm so thankful for our seniors--our captains & our team manager--for giving us 110% of themselves. They exemplify the team motto. <3

24  @omgcheckplease:  Lots of love for Samwell hockey these last few days. Going to spend the break focusing on this team and our seniors especially.

25  @omgcheckplease:  Oh, my heart "hi b! hearing news..........(((" "thank u for jam! so good)))"

26  @omgcheckplease:  Doing some spring cleaning before I go and watch some games hosted by the national professional ice hockey league.

27  @omgcheckplease:  That Lardo and Ransom are finally organizing themselves for their birthdays their *senior* year is somehow appropriate. It's gonna be big.

28  @omgcheckplease:  I'm not even going to pretend that I retained MAX 5% of the French I learned. Y'all everyone has their talents; language is not mine.

29  @omgcheckplease:  Like, I remember some phrases & can read and understand more than I can speak? But If I had to call an ambulance in Marseille, I'd perish.

30  @omgcheckplease:  A beautiful language! I wish I were better! Oh and the pronunciation I learned is all jumbled up with Quebecois in my fool mind.

31  @omgcheckplease:  Why is it that I'm not at the Haus when the legendary Shitty Knight is back in town wreaking havoc in Samwell, MA?

32  @omgcheckplease:  oh smh group text is

33  @omgcheckplease:  Shitty: everyone knock on all the wood around you but can we give it up for JLZ & the Falcs Shitty: summer vacay we're smashed in Welltown

34  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: I need to beat Alexei Mashkov at beer pong.

35  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: haha he's serious about that. Lardo: then why has it taken so long Lardo: time and place Shitty: yessss that's my girl

36  @omgcheckplease:  Tater is literally twice the mass of Larissa Duan.

37  @omgcheckplease:  Anyway! Back to (#) (◡‿◡) (!)

38  @omgcheckplease:  Ransom has his computer and Lardo is writing lists. They're up to something.

39  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey just texted me that he really needs "baked goods" this afternoon. I wonder why he's having a bad day?

40  @omgcheckplease:  Well! I'll be cooking for most of the day anyway! Because y'all? Jam is in **demand**

41  @omgcheckplease:  WHEW. There's something comforting about a warm kitchen full of mason jars.

42  @omgcheckplease:  The situation: A friend of a friend got hold of my aunt's jam, & now a good portion of a pro. hockey team is on a jam (or pie) waitlist.

43  @omgcheckplease:  He's got more important things to focus on at the moment, but a member of that team should be by this week to pick up the goods!

44  @omgcheckplease:  I'm being *so* vague. Y'all'll *never* guess which former Samwell hockey captain and #GoPVDFalconers star will be dropping by for jam.

45  @omgcheckplease:   And I really don't mind! I should be doing my reading for Alice, but she's getting jars too. Y'all, what's spring break FOR?

46  @omgcheckplease:  Dex just showed up, saw the chaos, and dropped his backpack in the corner. Dex: Need help? Me: Bless your heart.

47  @omgcheckplease:  Only on very rare occasions do I use that phrase with good will and a positive intent. <3 These frogs.

48  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: He only wants your dibs. Dex: (1) Bitty's not graduating. (2) You know that people are capable of doing things for others, right?

49  @omgcheckplease:   Nursey: He only wants your jam. Dex: Dex: Bitty I wasn't going to say anything but it's my mom's birthday next week and

50  @omgcheckplease:  She's up to something.

51  @omgcheckplease:  This t-shirt might smell like cherries for the rest of its existence.

52  @omgcheckplease:  All these girls out here with majors like "engineering", "art", "cs", & "poli sci". I'm literally trying to graduate by writing a pie essay.

53  @omgcheckplease:   *A very lengthy pie essay. Unfurling the shifting roles of baked goods in specific historic eras is copious research.

54  @omgcheckplease:  Coach: How's school? Me: My GPA's at [OMITTED], meeting w/ my American Studies adviser on my thesis Coach: History? Me: Me: Pie history.

55  @omgcheckplease:  Holster: what ever happened to the better bitty's butt thing or whatever? Ransom: oh the bureau? i'm not saying we achieved goals but.

56  @omgcheckplease:  *Ahem* Though not much has changed I feel more confident in my assets. It was about bettering the bitty and not the booty all along.

57  @omgcheckplease:  Aw, well Ford sent out a lovely email to the boys. She's getting good practice in.

58  @omgcheckplease:   By lovely I mean a detailed schedule of dates for spring semester conditioning, but you get me.

59  @omgcheckplease:  I've been so focused on the making of pies & jam that I haven't noticed the STORM on the horizon. Hurricane Lardo&Rans are up to something.

60  @omgcheckplease:  They're not trying to hide anything from me, but this might have to do with the kegster they're planning. Or Lardo's birthday?

61  @omgcheckplease:  Or Rans'--their bdays are so close together. I gotta tie ribbons on a few dozen mason jars, I'll report when Holster spills the beans.

62  @omgcheckplease:  I ALMOST JUST DROPPED A JAR OF JAM.

63  @omgcheckplease:  Y'all the #EasterKegHunt, the Sunday kegster, and the birthdays are *all ONE THING*

64  @omgcheckplease:  =Group Text= Me: When were y'all going to tell me about this GIANT KEGSTER? Rans: I think we did. Lardo: p sure we did Dex: yuuuup

65  @omgcheckplease:  Chowder: u guys order the kegs in the kitchen! Holster: Bitty, kinda late, but you've been in a weird jam headspace for the last few days.

66  @omgcheckplease:  Okay, Nursey and Dex are downstairs and are going to help me out. I'm so confused.

67  @omgcheckplease:  I guess...I did make a lot of jam. It all happened so fast. These can all fit in Jack's car, right? He'd make two trips.

68  @omgcheckplease:  I'm going to bake a pie to recalibrate.

69  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: How much is there? Me: A few jars! Holster: Jack, we have the highest jam per capita in the state of Massachusetts.

70  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: It can't fit in one car? Please send a picture. Lardo: lol bring a friend Lardo:....bring tater

71  @omgcheckplease:  I've stepped out the Haus and can see the volume of jam I produced. I should have stuck to the rivers and lakes that I was used to.

72  @omgcheckplease:  New Falconers faceoffs for your AM viewing.

73  @omgcheckplease:  =On Shorts= Whiskey: Yeah. They don't look good on the average man. Tango: My legs get so hot. Whiskey: Well. Golf & basketball shorts.

74  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey: swim trunks. I guess athletics shorts are fine. Tango: Mosquito bites when you're wearing jeans. Can never really get 'em.

75  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: when it comes to clothes, I just wear whatever and go. Whiskey: I'm taking the last pie slice.

76  @omgcheckplease:  I have no idea why I love these tadpoles so much, but I do.

77  @omgcheckplease:  Waking up to the sound of wheelbarrows and dollies thumping around downstairs. It's #KeagsterSunday.

78  @omgcheckplease:  Ah! Guess who's here and brought a friend!

79  @omgcheckplease:  Jack just sighed and looked at me. "Hey, Happy Easter. What's the jam situation?" Good morning to you too.

80  @omgcheckplease:  He actually said hi though. I'm paraphrasing. He's absolutely not ready though.

81  @omgcheckplease:  Tater: Hey, Zimmboni this not bad for uni party hauses, you know? Clean floor... Tater: [points] Wow curtain!

82  @omgcheckplease:  The Swallow moves fast, but these hockey players and these mason jars should be out of here soon.

83  @omgcheckplease:  But of course Alexei Mashkov wants a TOUR. "College! Yeah, show me everything!"

84  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey and Tango looking very nice in suits. Jack: Hey [picks up box of jam] Whiskey: do you need help with that we can if you do but yeah

85  @omgcheckplease:  Tango:...Is Jack Zimmermann stealing Bitty's jam?

86  @omgcheckplease:  = Group Text = Nursey: whens the easter keg hunt Lardo: later Jack: hey y'all! You should drop by before Jack and Tater head out!

87  @omgcheckplease:  = Group Text = Jack: i'm on Jack's phone. Dex: The y'all sorta tipped it off.

88  @omgcheckplease:  Me: So that was *my* room, and this used to be Jack's, and down the hall are the stairs to the attic. Me: Oh hi Rans. Rans: .............T-

89  @omgcheckplease:   I think he just woke up.

90  @omgcheckplease:  Okay, we're all done here! I was about to put on a brunch for our lovely guests but *somebody* said quote: "Bits, you really don't have to."

91  @omgcheckplease:  Well, I was just *trying* to say goodbye to these young men when the door to the backyard opened. It was Lardo.

92  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: Alexei Mashkov. Tater: [turns around slowly] Tater: ... Tater: Lardo.

93  @omgcheckplease:  Well, I'm starting brunch while Tater and Lardo sort all this out. Please don't get beer all over my clean floors.

94  @omgcheckplease:   *lunch with brunch food. Drat, it's too late for a ham. Well, we can only do our best, can't we?

95  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: where's Rans? Holster: Hiding. Holster: Didn't you guys say you were heading out like two hours ago? Jack: Yes.

96  @omgcheckplease:  I have no idea how many rounds they've played but Tater is shouting "best 7! best 7!" This food is gonna get cold.

97  @omgcheckplease:  Jack keeps asking Lardo and Tater if they want food. Instead, a shout--"Tango, bring me a plate. With food ON IT."

98  @omgcheckplease:  From the hallway. "WHAT! NO! No no no! No way!!! Best NINE!!!!!!"

99  @omgcheckplease:  Rans & Lardo made an event for a #KeagsterSunday Pre-game Kegster Hunt and and wellies are...beginning to show up. Um?

100  @omgcheckplease:  For the record, Tater's playing with water. Lardo's playing with who knows what.

101  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: Ok. Let's head out. Tater: Hey, it's fine! I mean, i'm doing better with crowd.

102  @omgcheckplease:  All right, Jack's cutting things short. ("COME ON, ZIMMERMANN!" "ZIMMBONI IT'S TIE!!!!" "No. You guys can have a rematch later.")

103  @omgcheckplease:   He's serious...

104  @omgcheckplease:  Jack went up to the attic to wish his our captain a happy birthday...And they're off. Lardo and Tater are...friends? Colleagues?

105  @omgcheckplease:  Oh my goodness. Whenever we decide to name a kegster, something strange is bound to happen. #KeagsterSunday

106  @omgcheckplease:  You're not doing college right if you're not finding easter eggs filled with miniature liquor in your backyard.

107  @omgcheckplease:  And yes, they do make mini kegs. The frolicking!

108  @omgcheckplease:  Ransom: Do you think Tater and Jack will come back? Holster: Um. Holster: Sure, bud.

109  @omgcheckplease:  The Group Text Shitty: what the fucking heck is going on in Samwell, Massachusetts.

110  @omgcheckplease:   Lardo: i was so close shits

111  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey: It's cool how Jack just drops by whenever. That's alumni relations! Tango: ....Huh...Isn't it because he's--OW.

112  @omgcheckplease:  Dex just smacked Tango in the back of the head. It could have been a dance move. It's a kegster, who knows.

113  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: ow.........OHh! He wasn't stealing the jam! Haha, wow, I'm glad.

114  @omgcheckplease:   Ohhh, *his friend and our captain!

115  @omgcheckplease:  New conditioning sched: afternoon practice and afternoon classes mean late night baking and bad habits.

116  @omgcheckplease:  There are times when I thrive rising early? (Esp. when it means trying out new things for breakfast.) But other times...well!

117  @omgcheckplease:  Despite my team being creatures of habit, we're also college students / love sleeping in. Not natural early birds (well, most of us)!

118  @omgcheckplease:  Not sure if y'all remember, but I used to Tweet about Shitty busting in on Jack quite a bit. Those were mornings! Classic #SamwellMensHockey

119  @omgcheckplease:  Big game for the Falconers tonight...#GoPVDFalconers!

120  @omgcheckplease:  Nervous for hockey. The Falc have been looking so strong this season. Let's go, boys! #GoPVDFalconers

121  @omgcheckplease:  Chowder: !!! Is that Shitty and Lardo on the jumbotron??? Chowder: Oh, it's not. Well, I still like those people!

122  @omgcheckplease:  Pie's in the kitchen, we're in the den, laptops and textbooks and pies and hockey. Good vibes from here to Providence. #SamwellMensHockey

123  @omgcheckplease:  (I have a reading response due in two hours that I should have done over spring break, but c'est la vie. (I remember French!))

124  @omgcheckplease:  During commercial breaks, I'm wondering how this TV has managed to survive so many kegsters, even if it's been carefully stowed away.

125  @omgcheckplease:   If you remember, Shitty had his door kicked in one year--nothing's safe. But THE GAME.

126  @omgcheckplease:  Ugh.

127  @omgcheckplease:  They had a good screen on Snowy; he didn't even see the puck.

128  @omgcheckplease:  By the way, watching anything with Holster means you're watching something with Holster. "These announcers are Schooner announcers, geez."

129  @omgcheckplease:  "I'm telling you, the do more close-ups on Jack than anyone else."

130  @omgcheckplease:  "Hey, Rans, it's Tater, the love of your life. For the record, I think Alexei Mashkov thinks my name is Randy and Ransom's name is Adam."

131  @omgcheckplease:  "Their power play is killer. OH, Shitty just texted everyone that they're DEFINITELY doing more close ups on Jack. How's that not creepy?!"

132  @omgcheckplease:  1-1 !!!!!!!!!

133  @omgcheckplease:  Me: POOTS!!!!! Dex: They don't actually call him that, right? Dex: At least Jack wouldn't-- Dex: I called a guy Shitty for an entire year.

134  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: Kent Parson's been in like 3 commercials since we turned this on.

135  @omgcheckplease:   We're all confused by this. Uncanny on a number of levels.

136  @omgcheckplease:  Down. Come on, y'all.

137  @omgcheckplease:  When it comes to my peach pies, Ransom in part

138  @omgcheckplease:  YES

139  @omgcheckplease:  Never check on a pie during play because you'll miss your FRIEND SCORING!!!!!!!

140  @omgcheckplease:  I need to see that replay 20 more times, so someone better post that online in the next 60 seconds, thanks. #GoPVDFalconers

141  @omgcheckplease:  Half of Samwell men's hockey is in the den about to watch this last period of the #GoPVDFalconers game.

142  @omgcheckplease:  No shade to Seattle, but they HAVE to lose. (Even though I think #16 for the Schooners is getting a jar of vanilla bean plum from me?)

143  @omgcheckplease:  (I have no idea. A Falc owed one gentleman who was roommates w/ another player--I just gave it all to Jack and try not to think about it)

144  @omgcheckplease:  Schooners power play. Lord.

145  @omgcheckplease:  Come on. I swear this team does better when their backs are to the wall.

146  @omgcheckplease:  PLEASE

147  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo' s stress snapchats are calming in a time like this.

148  @omgcheckplease:  Lord. Another penalty to kill. #GoPVDFalconers

149  @omgcheckplease:  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!

150  @omgcheckplease:  TATER SHORT-HANDED AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

151  @omgcheckplease:  Oh my god, I'm crying. They could make it. Oh Lord.

152  @omgcheckplease:  Watching is one hundred times more stressful than being on the ice.

153  @omgcheckplease:  Lord! It's easier to tweet and listen to these boys reactions, haha!

154  @omgcheckplease:  mY HEART.

155  @omgcheckplease:  Half a dozen teams are already guaranteed a spot in the NHL playoffs. The Falconers just joined them #GoPVDFalconers #PVDFalconers #GoFalcs!

156  @omgcheckplease:  = SMH Group Text = Rans: YEAAAAAAAAAAAH Chowder: Jack!!! Dex: CONGRATS, man! Holster: JACK!!! Shitty: WE'RE GETTING DRUNK IN PROVIDENCE

157  @omgcheckplease:  = SMH Group Text = Lardo: you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you

158  @omgcheckplease:  He'll smile when he can finally check his phone. :)

159  @omgcheckplease:  The little blurb in The Daily on the Falcs!

160  @omgcheckplease:  Dear S.O., Wow! It seems as though one of my favorite vocalists/performers has released a clothing line--and my birthday is upcoming!