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averagewriter-inthedark · 2 years

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I Want My MTV 🎤 | Jake Seresin Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Jake Seresin x popstar!reader (romantic), dagger squad x reader (platonic)

Content Warnings: fluff, profanity, implied suggestive content if you squint | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 8.6k

Premise: glitter and writing love songs are her favorite things in the world…..and also music that gets people dancing and wishing they were a fictional character in a fan edit. When she meets Lt. Jake Seresin, he becomes not only the light of her life but also the source of her inspiration because every love song has to have a muse. And for international popstar Y/n L/n, the man they call Hangman is the muse that keeps her going.

Requested 📨 yes/no (by the lovely @avaleineandafryingpan w/ some suggestions from @gizmodear on this post)

Note: I’m so sorry this took a bit (forgive me, school has been crazy) but I really really enjoyed writing this and i hope its everything you imagined @avaleineandafryingpan 🥹♥️ I made sure to add all the little hc’s you sent in & added some things of my own I thought would be great so I hope you don’t mind! Please let me know what you think!

Songs headcanoned by popstar!reader: ‘34+35’, ‘Love Me Harder,’ ‘Break Free,’ & ‘Imagine,’ by Ariana Grande + ‘Rain On Me’ w/ Lady Gaga. ‘Summertime Sadness,’ ‘ Young & Beautiful,’ ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell,’ ‘Video Games,’ & ‘Love Song,’ by Lana Del Rey. ‘Last Friday Night,’ ‘Teenage Dream,’ & ‘Firework,’ by Katy Perry. ‘Power,’ ‘Secret Love Song,’ ‘ Between Us,’ & ‘Salute’ by Little Mix

———————————————

August 2026

“Deep breathes, darlin’,” his hands were smooth against her shoulders, instantly calming her nerves. Y/n took a deep inhale, nodding as she slowly let the air leave her lips. Jake beamed at her, “This ain’t the first time you’ve been on stage. You got this.”

“I know, but performing on live television for millions of people is different than a few thousand in a venue,” she reminded him, feeling the anxiety return causing her to close her eyes. “It’s been six years since my last VMA performance, Jake. Also,” she nervously laughs, “This is the Vanguard award they’re giving me—I’m, quite literally, shitting my pants. I want this to be amazing.” To be fair the reason for her not being invited back to the VMAs was a mini break from music she went on after they got married in 2021. The birth of their children was another factor so it wasn’t until late 2025 that Y/n had released the music she’d been working on.

The break was much needed, but she was missing the stage, the touring, the fans. It was what kept her going and made her career worth it. Music was her life, but so was her family which is why she took so long to release an album. Now here she was years later about to step foot on the VMA stage for the first time in six years. Another thing that made it worthwhile was she was being honored with the MTV Video Vanguard Award. Leading up news outlets were covering her return and on the red carpet reporters were eager to know what Y/n was cooking up.

“And it will be,” he told her, cupping her face in his hands, careful not to mess up the gemstones and glitter around her eyes. She could feel the cool metal of his wedding band against her skin. “You are one of the best vocalists of our generation—the High Note Princess. One of the best stage performers of all time—it’s gonna be an amazing show. You’ve been working so hard for months,” he gives a comforting squeeze to her shoulders. “So just breathe with me and then you’ll go out there and sing your pretty little heart out. And it’s gonna be the best performance of the night.”

As she mentally prepared while waiting for the stage manager, Y/n leaned more into Jake’s arms and let her mind wander. Memories started to appear, reeling back to when her career kicked off all the way to when she met her husband and finally to the present day.

February 2008

Like any aspiring star, Y/n L/n made the rash decision to quit college and move to Los Angeles in hopes of achieving her goal of becoming a singer. Hollywood was calling her name, so she spent months applying to jobs in the area before finding a small studio apartment and packed up her little Honda and set sail for the city where dreams are made. Time would be the make or break factor if she stayed or retreated back home with her tail between her legs.

One year.

That was her deadline. One year to get a job at a label, get discovered, or possibly find something worth renewing her lease. Working as a singer at a jazz bar could possibly have one of the options come true. Again, it would take time before something happened.

Y/n wasn’t the only singer at the club. Another girl was on stage Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Saturday’s whereas Y/n was booked Tuesday’s, Thursday’s, and Friday’s. The club was closed Sunday’s and the nights Y/n didn’t sing she was a server or bartender. The pay was good for the most part with her tips racking in more income than the biweekly check for singing and serving. Sometimes she’d get compliments from patrons, especially the older crowd saying, “You have such a unique voice—the way you have control and range makes me think you should be on the radio and not some little jazz club like this. Your talent shouldn’t be wasted, dear.”

The words and support always boosted Y/n’s confidence. Truly did it make her feel she could make it big. Actually break through into the industry. But that takes time and sometimes the opportunity arises when one least expects it.

Maybe she could audition for American Idol. Maybe she could upload videos on that new website YouTube. Maybe she could be bold and send some demos to labels, praying it would land on someone’s desk.

Or, someone important from said label would wander into the club.

That idea seemed like a far stretch. But just three months shy of Y/n’s deadlines she was approached by a gentleman after she finished her number one Friday night. A business card in his hand, he said, “Give me a call Monday morning, I’d like to set up a meeting to talk with you about your potential. Bring some demos if you have any.”

A notebook of songs in her hand and a CD of demos she spent the whole weekend working on, Y/n left Capitol Records that morning with a copy of her contract in hand and the promise of bringing forth the best music of her life. There were tears shed as she relayed the exciting news to her family back home. Her coworkers whom she adored threw her a party at the club in celebration that night. She wouldn’t leave the club just yet. Just because she had signed didn’t mean she would make it big in the long run. No, she decided to stay at the club until she at least was at the level where she could financially afford to.

The first time Y/n heard herself on the radio she broke into tears. It happened unexpectedly too. After packing up her car with two weeks worth of groceries that cost her entire paycheck Y/n switched the the radio to the pop station and was singing along to the tunes when she heard the beginning chords to her song, ‘Teenage Dream.’ Cars honked around after she slammed the brakes and abruptly pulled to the side of the road, eyes wide with her hands covering her mouth.

“You think I’m pretty without any makeup on. You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong. I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down.”

Y/n literally changed the channel just to change it back to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. That it was actually her song playing.

“Before you met, I was alright, but things were kinda heavy. You brought me to life, now every February, you’ll be Valentine. Valentine.”

“Let’s go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love. We can dance, until we die. You and I, will be young forever.”

“Oh my God!!!” She got out of her car just to scream while jumping up & down. People on the sidewalk were looking at her crazy but she didn’t care. Not when her own song was blasting from her car on the radio.

“You make me, feel like I’m living a Teenage Dream. The way you turn me on, I can’t sleep. Let's run away and don’t ever look back. Don’t ever look back.”

Y/n’s entire life took a 180 after that very day. Her talent agent and manager from Capital Records were calling her saying she was on the Billboard Hot 100. They were planning on releasing her second single earlier than planned in order to push up the release of her album. Every radio station was playing ‘Teenage Dream,’. There were days Y/n would be in a store and would hear in playing, causing her to break out in a grin.

Before long Y/n was getting calls left in right with her manager and publicist securing television appearances and interviews. Her second single ‘Firework’ was an instant hit, becoming a gold certified record in just a few weeks. People auditioning for X-Factor and American Idol were covering it. Videos being posted to YouTube. Then Y/n released ‘Last Friday Night,’, becoming a popular song for teenagers and young adults. The full album shot her off into stardom.

“SNL?” She dropped her muffin, staring wide eyed at her manager. “SNL wants me to perform?”

“I got Lorne Micheals on the phone—I literally have him on hold—and he’s awaiting your answer.”

“Tell him my answer is ‘fuck yeah!’”

“I’ll tell him…you said yes.”

The appearance on SNL only increased Y/n’s popularity. Following it was invitations to the Kids & Teen Choice Awards, the Billboard Music Awards and the MTV VMAS, in which she won Best New Artist at all shows and Song of The Summer at the TCA’s. The first time she won she was a stuttering mess, thanking the fans and people who voted for her and her family, managers, execs at Capitol Records all while trying not to cry on live television.

Then the 2009 Grammys happened. And she won Best Pop Album and Record of The Year for ‘Last Friday Night’. Her hands shook as she accepted the award from none other than Usher, trying not to fangirl as she approached the microphone. She was never gonna get used to meeting the people she admired.

“O-oh wow,” she stuttered over the screams, feeling the cool surface of the award in her hand. A Grammy. She was a Grammy Award winning recording artist. “This is the greatest honor I’ve ever received—bigger than when I graduated with high school honors,” she laughed nervously, causing people in the crowd to smile at her. “Huge thank you to the Recording Academy for this award. It’s an honor to be part of a group with so many artists I admire—some of whom I’ve listened to for years a-and I can’t believe I have the privilege of being in your presence. I-I wanna take a moment to thank everyone at Capitol Records, my managers Raven and Paul. To everyone who helped me on this album who put their heart and soul into it—this award is not just mine it’s yours. To my family watching at home, I know you’re all losing your minds in front of the tv,” she grinned at the laughs around her, “I love you all so so much and thank you for your support—helping me get to where I am. I’m sorry if I forgot anyone else—t-there telling me to wrap up—b-but thank you—thank you so much for this, I’m so blessed and honored—I can’t even put it into words. Thank you!”

All of 2009-2010 was dedicated to her second album. Y/n was in the studio, writing songs on napkins when she was out with friends, mentally hearing the tunes in her head. She presented and performed at award shows and she went on tour. The goal was to have the songs ready and written by the time the tour ended. Luckily she achieved that goal with at least twenty potential for an album. Anytime Y/n found inspiration she made sure to write it down as quickly as possible.

Now with two Grammys under her name, one of which was for her debut album, the pressure was on.

“This is totally different from what you’ve been doing,” her producer said to her after reading the songs.

“I know, that’s the whole point,” she gave a pointed look, “I don’t want everything to be or sound the same. This is gonna have a different sound than what we did last year. Trust me it’s gonna be big.”

Might as well call her psychic cause that’s exactly what she was.

“It’s been a great week for popstar Y/n L/n, her recent single ‘Summertime Sadness,’ has shot to the top spot of this week’s Billboard Hot 100. A new sound that’s more mellow than her previous work, it’s been well received by fans and critics. L/n is finishing up the American leg of her world tour and is set to release her second studio album in the fall. Just two years ago L/n became an international star after winning two Grammys for her debut album and appearing on television such as Saturday Night Live, Ellen Degeneres, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. With her unique voice and style she’s been viewed as the next pop diva, joining that of Madonna, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga.”

‘Video Games’ was released when the tour concluded and it became her best single to date. The music video was played on MTV early in the mornings and predicted to be nominated for every award one could think of. It was that single combined with the critical acclaim from her album in 2011 that had Baz Luhrmann calling Y/n to write a song for his upcoming 2013 movie ‘The Great Gatsby.’

“And the Oscar goes to….” Y/n’s hand clutched her manager’s, keeping a calm face since the camera was panned on her and the other nominees. In Halle Berry’s hand was the envelope with the winner of the 2014 Oscar for ‘Best Original Song.’ Heart pumping out of her chest, she barely registered her song and name leaving the actress's lips. “Young & Beautiful,’ by Y/n L/n.”

Baz jumped from his seat, as did her manager and producer, the latter of whom she was sharing the Oscar with. A hand flew to her mouth, feeling her arm tugged as they lifted her from her seat while the theater erupted in applause. It felt like she was floating when she approached the stairs, taking the arm of her producer when he offered her help.

“Congratulations,” Halle said, opening her arms for a congratulatory hug before handing the gold statue to the singer. Y/n let out a mix of a sob and laugh as she replied, “T-thank you.”

Another statue was presented to her producer, Y/n waiting for the applause to end until giving her speech.

“O-oh my God, I just met Halle Berry,” there were some chuckles, the singer pausing to hold a hand to her thumping heart while the other clutched the Oscar. “I-I don’t know how to start. First, thank you to the Academy foremost—it’s an honor to be receiving this recognition. Shout out to the other nominees and their incredible work—you all are amazing and we’re so lucky to be almost you all. We all have one major thing in common, and that’s music. Music and movies bring people together—it’s a universal language that we get to be a part of and I am so grateful everyday for being a part of it. Thank you to Baz for allowing us this opportunity—it was so fun working on this song for you and your spectacular film. This Oscar is for you, Baz,” she saw the director blow a kiss from his seat. “Thank you to my producer, Tim—who’s standing right next to me. The magic behind Young & Beautiful, Tim you are a genius and I love you so much. Lastly, to my family back home—ah!” She waved the trophy like a little kid, “Look! I love you all so so much—thank you and I can’t wait to celebrate with you when I come home. Thank you everyone!”

Each year came with more success. The rest of 2014 going all the way to 2016 was nonstop energy. She was working day and night, touring, performing on talk shows, collaborating with other artists—like Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, The Weekend, & Justin Bieber—and dabbling in acting jobs. Y/n secured roles in films like The Greatest Showman, The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials & Death Cure, & The Shape of Water. Some television roles included MTV’s Teen Wolf, American Horror Story and guest appearances on Criminal Minds, Greys Anatomy, and Doctor Who. Her role on AHS garnered her an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. After the award show her manager told her with a wink, “All you need is a Tony and you’re part of the EGOT club.”

EGOT. The ‘grand slam’ in show business. Where only more than a dozen people have achieved the status in which they have won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony. The biggest awards in television, music, film, and theater.

After she heard that….well you could say Y/n was on a mission.

She continued to release music while pursuing acting. She leased her third and fourth studio albums in the span of eight months—a rare sighting for an artist. Both broke records in their own right. ‘Break Free,’ was playing in every club and ‘Imagine’ was used in Riverdale. She won the Grammy for best Pop album once again and performed ‘Imagine’ at the show. The second it was revealed she got the role of Christine in Broadway’s Phantom of the Opera, the buzz was already on if she would achieve EGOT status if she was nominated for the Tony.

The show opened in early 2017, selling out at a rapid rate with people coming from all over the country solely to watch Y/n perform. She already showed the world she was a brilliant singer and actress, now it was time to combine the two.

Never did she think she’d meet the love of her life at a show.

Jake Seresin wasn’t much of a musical man, but his sister and nieces were so he sucked it up and attended with them. Now Jake wasn’t living under a rock, he damn well knew who Y/n L/n was and frankly the man was a fan. A lot of his exes were fans of the popstar so he was quite familiar with her music and even enjoyed her acting. So of course he was more keen to the idea of going to a Broadway show if it meant he got to see her perform live.

What he didn’t expect was to—literally—run into her on his way back to the hotel. After telling his sister he’d pick food up since her daughters were too tired to go to a restaurant, Jake took a shortcut which happened to be the alley between the show venue. The bag in his hand dropped, the pilot falling to his ass when the door suddenly opened and hit smack in the face.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” A voice shouted followed by a gasp. “Are you okay, sir? ‘Please don’t have blood-please don’t have blood.’

“I’m fine,” he moaned, shaking his head a bit and feeling for any sign of a wound. Thankfully he found none. “It’s alright, ma’am.”

“Here let me,” she helped him up, Jake stumbling a bit and apologizing when he bumped into her. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance in case you have a concussion?”

“No, no,” he insisted, finally looking up which only resulted in him freezing. The woman he watched on stage not even an hour ago was standing in front of him. “Oh wow.”

Y/n was frozen too, for he was the most attractive man she’d ever laid eyes on. The glow from the street light shined down on him, illuminating his green eyes and blonde hair. His bone structure was what most Hollywood heartthrobs would die for. Come to think of it he could literally pass as a young James Dean.

“H-hi,” she smiled, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden. It didn’t help that he was still holding onto her shoulders, and she was clutching his forearms.

“Hi.” Gosh even his voice was attractive. A southern accent could be made out with the simple word.

“I’m so sorry for not looking before pushing the door out like that. I—,” Y/n cut herself off when she spotted the discarded bag of what appeared to be food. Some of it spilled out causing guilt to fill her, “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about your food.” Stepping away she reached into her bag to pull out her wallet. “How much was—.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake says, but the singer shakes her head.

“No I insist,” she takes out a random amount of bills which was likely triple what he had actually paid but she didn’t care. She extended her hand out with the cash, “I rammed a door into you and made you drop your food. Please let me make it up—otherwise I’m gonna have to drag you to the place you got it from and replace it myself.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile, taking the cash and examining it before only keeping the amount he had originally paid. “No need to give me more than what it was worth. Here,” he hands back the extra, making her frown but she takes it regardless. Her eyebrows then raise when he goes, “But you could make it up to me in another way?”

Tilting her head, she can’t help but say, “How so?”

“By having a drink with me. If you’re available.”

So that’s how Y/n L/n met her soulmate. By hitting him face first with a door. He literally fell for her if one thought about it—pun intended.

What made it even better was Broadway not only gifted her future husband, but her status as an EGOT winner.

“Last night was a record breaking night for popstar Y/n L/n. The 30-year-old singer and actress has become one of just over a dozen to join the prestigious EGOT Club after winning the Tony for her Leading Actress in a Musical for her role of Christine in Broadway’s Phantom Of The Opera. L/n won the Grammy for Best Pop Album and Record of The Year in 2009 followed by the Oscar for Best Original Song in 2014 for The Great Gatsby. She then went on to appear in several television series including the popular horror series American Horror Story in which she won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. It was rumored L/n would venture into Broadway to possibly add a Tony to her collection of numerous awards, confirming this in mid-2016 when the cast for the 2017 run of Andrew Webber’s Phantom Of The Opera was released. Classically trained as a child, the popstar showed she can belt a lyric and hold a tune. It was a spectacular night for Y/n L/n, receiving a standing ovation when her name was called for the award and dedicating the Tony to her family, friends, cast members, and managers who’ve been with her since her debut in the music industry almost a decade ago. She is one of the youngest stars to ever achieve EGOT status and the fastest ever in a career.”

Many many songs were inspired by her relationship with Jake. Her entire album released a year after they got together was basically a love letter to him. ‘Love Song’ was regarded as her most beautiful record to date, a source for many fan-made videos for their favorite fictional characters and features in movie soundtracks. ‘Love Me Harder,’ & ‘34+35’ had fans go crazy with how frisky they were. Though their relationship was a secret it was obvious the popstar was in love. It only made fans want to know who was the special man to take her heart.

Jake learned pretty early on the price that came with dating a critically acclaimed songwriter: that if messed up there would be a song about it.

Immediately speculations arose that Y/n and her secret partner were broken up with the release of songs like ‘Woman Like Me,’ & ‘Power.’ She had to get on instagram one day to settle the rumors with a picture of their interlaced hands saying, “You drive me wild sometimes, but my love for you overpowers all.”

Their relationship was eventually exposed when Jake appeared in her music video for ‘Secret Love Song,’ released just shortly before he was set to return to Top Gun. People could easily tell the chemistry between Y/n and her ‘love interest’.

Maybe a little too much chemistry.

Dedicated fans were able to find out who Jake was in less than a week. Matching up his social media post locations and dates with hers, they didn’t even need them to confirm their suspicion to know they were together.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jake chuckled, showing Y/n his phone screen with a picture that was just sent to TMZ of the two in San Francisco.

Y/n simply shrugged, “I’m fine with it if you are. I’m happy we got to keep it to ourselves for this long. And considering people are now asking about this—,” she held up her left hand, flashing the diamond engagement ring Jake spent his entire year’s paychecks on. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Was Jake still the arrogant, egotistical pilot amongst his peers? Yes. But was he the type to boast about how he was engaged to one of the best musical artists of the century? Surprisingly no.

He actually enjoyed keeping that little detail a secret. To Jake his personal life was for him and him only. And he didn’t want people going around saying he was a gold-digger or wanting to be that guy who got to say he hooked up with a celebrity. Nah, he was in love with Y/n with his entire being. She was the gravity that kept him down to Earth. Sure they bickered like any couple but never once did either of them cross a line.

The only time they ever had a big argument was when he did get jealous over one of her former co-stars trying to have a shot at her. Y/n tried brushing it off saying it was nothing, but Jake could tell the signs and it upset him Y/n was not taking him seriously. “I just don’t see why you’re being so childish about a dinner party that’s gonna have multiple people.”

“Have you even asked who else is coming? Or wondered why he’s started texting you more when you guys finished filming ages ago? I’m not trying to be insecure or jealous, Y/n, but I know when a guy is trying to flirt. He didn’t even acknowledge me as your date when we were at the premier party. In fact I don’t think he said hello to me when he approached. All his eyes were was on you—which I don’t blame because you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet—but trust me, I know that look because I have it every second I’m with you.”

Needless to say you didn’t go to that dinner party and instead were doing what ‘Love Song’ was about the entire weekend.

When Jake goes to Top Gun for the special detachment, he’s still the arrogant asshole the others thought him to be. But if they were being honest they could see a difference in him. Maybe it was because he wasn’t flirting with anything with legs. Maybe it was the fact he rejected the drink from a pretty blonde. Maybe it was because they caught him smiling at his phone whenever he got a text. Whatever it was, they wanted to find out.

The only person in the detachment who knew of Y/n was Javy considering he was Jake’s best friend. She met him roughly eight months after she and Jake got together after much discussion. Their relationship was still a secret by then so they were hesitant to let anyone besides her team know, but Javy was an important person to Jake. He wanted his best friend to know the woman he loved.

Natasha being the amateur sleuth she was pretty much discovered Jake’s secret in a few days, “No fucking way.”

The evidence was presented to Jake during their lunch break the day after she found out, Nat holding the phone up for him to see. She literally watched the gears turn in his head, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “What about that, Trace?” The question caught the attention of their colleagues, who were trying not to show they were eavesdropping.

“Is that not you?” Nat looked at the screen to make sure it was on the zoomed in image of him and Y/n L/n. The entire music video Jake’s face was pretty much hidden from view, but briefly his face could be made out at certain angles.

“It is,” he shrugged, going back to his sandwich. A cluttered sound indicated Nat had dropped the phone on the table, scrambling to pick it up.

“So you just casually ended up in Y/n L/n’s music video for her iconic song?” By now heads turned, expressions of absolute shock. Well all except Coyote. He just raised his brows at Jake while holding back a laugh, wanting to see what he would say.

“No, I ended up in my fiancé’s music video for her iconic song.”

“You’re what?!”

“Babe, I got a favor to ask you,” Jake’s voice was tainted with exhaustion when he FaceTimed Y/n that night. She was at their Fresno home since he was stationed at NAS Lemoore and was planning to meet him in San Diego that weekend. Raising a brow at him through the screen she could tell he looked apologetic.

“What is it?”

“You think you could come down earlier than planned?” At her reaction he explained, “My detachment found out about us and well……they’re accusing me of photoshopping the photos of you and I—even though they literally saw us make out in your music video. And I want to prove to them I’m telling the truth.”

A moment passed and then Y/n burst into laughter to the point of tears. What got her was the photoshopping accusation.

“Stop laughing,” he pouted, “I’m fighting for me life out here—I could use some backup.”

“My goodness, Jake Seresin,” she calmed down, shaking her head at his butt hurt expression. “You’re something else you know?”

“So does that mean you’re coming?”

“I’ll book my flight for the morning as soon as we get off.”

One could envision the confusion on the pilots/WSOs when Jake prevented them from leaving the airstrip at the end of the work day. It was pushing five in the afternoon, they were tired and hungry, and honestly could care less about what Jake had to show them.

That was until the black SUV with tinted windows pulled up to the parking lot where they were standing. When the door opened jaws dropped to the floor with eyes bulging out at the person emerging from the vehicle. Who happened to jump into Jake’s awaiting arms. Fanboy had to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing clearly. That it was Y/n L/n sharing a kiss with the resident asshole.

“Oh my God he wasn’t kidding,” Rooster said with a mix of awe and disbelief. Javy patted him on the chest, moving first to greet the popstar who shocked the pilots again with her warm welcome to them. None knew how to react when the couple approached hand in hand.

It’s not everyday someone meets a fucking EGOT winner.

“Hello,” Y/n smiled a dazzling grin, drifting her eyes over each of them and committing their callsign to memory. She could tell what they were likely thinking, ‘How the hell did Hangman manage to pull a fucking popstar?’ And ‘He must be brainwashing her, blink twice if you need help,’ kind of stuff.

Introductions were in store as well as explanations for how the couple came to be. In all the years they knew the pilot, none could’ve predicted that kind of secret. They quickly learned Y/n was not the typical celebrity—some of them were even ashamed to think she’d be stuck up, arrogant, snobbish. They were almost convinced the personality she had in interviews and fan interactions were fake, but Y/n was a truly genuine person. Not only did she come from humble beginnings, but she was a hard, driven worker who truly earned everything she’s gained.

And she was perfect for Jake. They were like two peas in a pod, with Y/n being the only one who could bring him back down to earth. Truly was an amazing thing to witness and the daggers were having trouble comprehending it at times. Hearing the story of how the two met brought tears to Rooster and Fanboy’s eyes by how funny it was, while Phoenix was covering her mouth to hide her smirk at how embarrassed her colleague was.

“In my defense,” he puts his hands on his chest when Bob asks why he thought to pass the side door, “I didn’t expect anyone to still be inside and potentially use that door.”

“He just hates when I tease him about how he literally fell for me,” Y/n winks, making them all smirk.

Later on in the night after going to the Hard Deck for drinks and pool, Rooster says, “You know I feel I won’t be able to use my karaoke song if we ever go cause I’ll be too flustered to sing a song in front of the person it’s written by.” Y/n couldn’t help but blush, giggling lightly.

“What is it?”

“Last Friday Night. Such a banger—really gets the crows going.”

Even after the Uranium mission happened, the daggers continued to remain in contact. Many were offered jobs of instructors but the real surprise came a couple months later from the Pentagon asking if they could remain a permanent team. Selling their San Francisco home, Jake and Y/n moved to San Diego, which was better since it was closer to L.A. The team hung out often with Friday nights reserved for the Hard Deck.

Y/n even found musical inspiration with them.

“So I have a proposal,” she hums to Nat and Callie one day while the guys are playing football on the beach. “Not a marriage one Jake claimed that one already,” she pauses when they all laugh at the joke, “but a ‘if you want to be a part of it I would love it if you did but I understand if you can't be’ kind of one.”

Nat tilts her head curiously, Callie mirroring her, “What is it?”

“I wrote a song….that you two helped inspire,” Y/n smiles at their expressions, “and I’d love for you both to be in the music video after I release it.”

Nat loses it, “OH MY GOD YOU WHAT?!!”

“Can we hear it!?” Callie blushes, “I’m so honored—oh my God I literally don’t know how to react to that.”

“Girl you cannot just drop that on us,” Nat playfully points with narrowed eyes, “If you weren’t Jake’s soon to be wife I would marry you right now.” Y/n just laughs, rummaging through her bag to find her notebook to show them the song.

“If he messes up you’ll be the first to know and we can head to the courthouse.”

“Don’t play with me now, Y/n,” Nat shakes her head. “No man has ever done something like that. Write a song inspired by me?” She gives a dramatic sigh. “Feels like I’m living in a romance novel.”

Both read the song, both fell in love with it and pretty much cried. It was empowering, motivational, a love letter to women, everything they wished they heard growing up in a field where men dominated and looked down upon them. Y/n made sure to keep them updated when she was in the studio, allowing them to hear it first before it was released.

2020 was a year no one could’ve expected.

It started off great with the singer releasing ‘Salute,’ shortly after the New Year and filing the music video in February. The song was well received from fans and critics, with people already calling it the ‘anthem of the year.’ Jake loved it and would send clips of him in the car to Y/n belting the lyrics. The guys all loved it too and loved that their colleagues were the source of inspiration.

Halo and Phoenix were part of the MV as well as women who in real life were doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, athletes, students, astronauts, & scientists from all ages, races/ethnicities, genders, etc. Not all of them were in the armed forces, but a couple were along with Nat and Callie. Special permission from the Navy & Top Gun was needed to put cameras in the F-18’s on the exterior and interior to capture footage of the two flying. Halo was Nat’s backseater for that day and the guys came out just to watch and support.

Released just before March, the music video hit 100 million views in less than 12 hours. It only grew from there with people praising Y/n and the women included in the project. There was talk of ‘Salute’ being nominated for the upcoming awards, Team USA asked permission to use the song for promotion for their women athletes for the upcoming Games. Y/n was over the moon, really looking forward for what the year held. Especially with her wedding around the corner.

Then the world shut down. Literally.

A global pandemic altered everything and everyone. Anything that required a group of people ranging from small to stadium level was banned. States were on curfew and not letting people cross borders, international traveling was restricted. Lockdown was mandated for pretty much everywhere to the point Jake was working from home for a couple months.

In that time Y/n threw herself into writing songs to release her next album. Her reason: she was in need of a break. Not a ‘I’m retiring from music,’ but a ‘I’m drained and in dire need of taking time for myself and start the family I’ve always wanted.’ It was always her plan for after she and Jake got married, just to have a few years for themselves and see where life takes them.

Thankfully when the pandemic hit Y/n was already done with her collaboration with Lady Gaga. The fellow popstar had been her friend since she joined the industry and it was a long time coming for the two to work together. Not to mention they were on American Horror Story together. The Mother Monster approached the High Note Princess in late 2019, both sharing ideas and writing the song together before recording to release in 2020. Filming the music video, they combed both of their aesthetics and styles to create a pop masterpiece.

Fans went crazy. They loved the return to classic pop when both singers had gone off to pursue acting careers and change their sound a bit. Many felt deprived of being able to dance to ‘Rain On Me’ in a club since going out was restricted. And you can best believe the Daggers felt the same—especially Rooster who loved to dance his ass off, “I would be tearing it up right now if Rona wasn’t such a bitch.”

Surprisingly the 2020 VMAs still happened. It was roughly six months after the outbreak and very strict regulations were in place for the show to go on. With ‘Rain On Me,’ being so popular and popstars releasing albums, Y/n and Lady Gaga were invited to perform. After prepping for weeks and self-quarantining, the daggers all gathered around at the couple’s home to watch the live show. Lady Gaga was the first to perform solely when it was their turn, then Y/n joined causing the select few in the crowd to cheer—with her friends and loved ones going crazy in their living room. All were in awe when she hit a high note, killing it with the choreography and honestly being the best performers of the night. Finally Lady Gaga left the stage with her dancers allowing Y/n’s to appear in time for the popstar to sing ‘Salute.’ At the house, Halo and Nat were dancing along and belting the lyrics with the guys while recording the performance on their phones.

“Sisters, we are everywhere! Warriors, your country needs you! If you’re ready, ladies, better keep steady, ready, aim, shoot! Don’t need ammunition, on a mission—now we hit you with the truth! Divas, queen, we don’t need no man, SALUTE!!”

2021 came with hope and breaths of fresh air. A vaccination was developed, restrictions were lifted in most locations meaning Y/n and Jake could finally plan for their wedding. It took a few months to plan, desiring an intimate private wedding at their home with their close friends and family. The daggers were all there, including Maverick, Cyclone, Warlock, and Hondo. Their families were all there as well as Y/n’s managers & agents, some cast members from the shows/films she grew close to, as well as artists like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Alicia Keys, David Guetta, and The Black Eyed Peas, the Jonas Brothers, & Miley Cyrus.

A sweet ceremony, Y/n squealed when Jake tipped her back to the cheers of their loved ones as he kissed her passionately. “I love you so much, Y/n. Or should I say, Mrs. Seresin.”

“I love you too, Mr. Seresin,” she kissed him again, “Now let’s show them we’re the life of the party.”

Rings on their fingers, grins plastered their faces when they ran through the Arch of Swords the guys of the Dagger Squad set up on the aisle. Then came time for the reception. Jake presented Y/n with a sword, per military tradition, to cut the cake and Y/n poured the champagne over the tower of glasses. They had their first dance, which Javy made sure to do his best man duties and record everything.

Which came in handy when it was time for Y/n’s surprise for Jake.

Seating him in a chair at the front of the dance floor, Y/n smirked at his confused expression as she took the mic from the DJ, calling everyone's attention. “All of you know I’m one for surprises. And tonight is no exception,” biting her lip she signaled for her maid of honor, who started rounding up the bridesmaids. “I thought it would be great to give Jake a little treat tonight—do not take that the wrong way, I can already see your minds going somewhere,” she pointed at the daggers who were hollering, giggling as she continued, “Stop it. Anyways, we’ve been cooking up this little number for the past month and now it’s time to let it shine. Baby, this is for you.”

Jake slapped a hand to his mouth containing his expression of glee when the opening chords to Y/n’s ‘Power’ echoed through the speakers. Her bridesmaids got into place, the singer discarding her veil and moving to the center. Everyone was on their feet hooting and hollering, capturing the performance on their phones for memory. Javy even put the phone right up in Jake’s face, Payback slapping the pilot on the back as the others whistled and danced. Just the expression of his mother and family sent Jake into tears of laughter.

She was flabbergasted. Unlike his sister and brother who were having the time of their lives witnessing the masterpiece that was Y/n practically seducing her husband live and singer her own song.

“I don’t think she’s heard this song until now!” He shouted over the music to the phone, blushing when Y/n winked at him. To be fair, the bridge of ‘Power’ was a little on the frisky side and Y/n was edging closer to Jake until she was basically in his lap.

“Don’t be fooled, I got you wrapped up. In the arms of an animal—get you thinking that I’m all innocent. But wait ‘til I get you home. If you don’t, baby, you should know. I’m the one who’s in control.”

Hell yeah she was in control when she got home that night….well at least for a few rounds she was.

Sadness came with the announcement of her break from music. The hot topic for media outlets, Y/n had released a statement on Twitter and Instagram confirming the suspicions many had after her wedding. Fans were understandably upset that their favorite artist wouldn’t be releasing new material until further notice, but they’d rather have Y/n at her best and not give half ass energy in her work. She was burnt out. It was time for a break after 13 years with six albums, each with their own tour. Don’t get her wrong, the popstar loved to be on the road, but after a while she was ready to just stay home for some time without planning for what was next.

In the meantime she sold songs for other people, collaborated on writing with artists, and acted when filming was either in L.A or San Diego. She and Jake were happily married, little to no financial stress or personal issues, and were ready to expand their family. By mid 2025 they had/adopted two kids, two dogs, and a cat. They were a full house with no dull days whatsoever.

“Are you going to get back in the studio like you mentioned the other week?” Jake asked at dinner, helping cut his son's food into smaller pieces.

Y/n nibbled on her floor while also assisting their daughter, “Yeah I think this weekend I’m gonna call Jack up and see what his schedule is like. I got some lyrics I’d like him to read.” Sipping on her drink briefly she then asks, “How long do you think this next mission is going to be?”

“Probably a week or two. Mav is working out the details and hopes to tell us Monday. I just pray I’ll make it in time for your birthday.”

Y/n feels her heart skip, giving a soft smile, “You know I understand if you can’t, honey. If the Pentagon is tasking you then you know it’s important. We’ll celebrate either before or after you get back,” she assured, reaching over to hold his hand when he frowned.

“I just hate the idea of missing it, you know? It’s your birthday and I missed our anniversary last year,” he pauses to sigh, “I just hate leaving you guys for so long. And I never wanna make you feel like you’re always alone.”

“I knew what I was getting into when we fell in love. Don’t feel like you’re missing out or I’m going to suddenly start giving ultimatums because you know I’m not that person. If it was our anniversary or another memorable date I would still feel the same. You have a job, Jake, you’re the best there is to do it. There will be plenty more birthdays for us to be together for.”

Being back in the studio felt like a whole new world. It had been nearly five years since her last single was in late 2020. When Jake was working the kids would come with her and be the stars of the crew, playing in the mini play area they had set up while Y/n was recording. Besides the people she worked with, only Jake knew she was releasing new music. Quite literally Y/n did not announce anything until the night before with a single Tweet and Instagram post with the art cover and the caption, “Tomorrow at midnight, Between Us.”

She broke the internet to put it lightly.

@ Y/ns_microphone: WE’RE GETTING NEW MUSIC OMFG PLEASE TELL ME IT’S A WHOLE ALBUM!!

@ livinginharryshouse: y’all the High Note Princess is back I’m gonna lose it.

@ a_teenage_dream: 2025 ending on a great note 🥹 five years and the wait is over!!!!

@ dylanobrien ✔️: crying, shitting, throwing up. Thank you @ Y/n

August 2026

18 years in the music industry and the rush before a live performance had Y/n pacing backstage during the commercial break of the VMAs. Their children were being occupied by her manager while Jake helped her mentally prepare. He was going to be the one to present her the award at the end of her set, so they were just waiting for the green light from the stage manager. The performance was going to be nearly ten minutes, the longest she’s ever done live on an award show since it was going to be a medley of some of her classic hits while also including ‘Between Us’. Lady Gaga, Y/n’s close friend and who collaborated with her again on her most recent album, was going to introduce her.

“Deep breaths with me, baby,” Jake held her in his arms, kissing her forehead. “I can feel you shaking. But once you get on stage it’s gonna be like you never left.” Taking a strong inhale, Y/n let it out slowly before repeating.

“I know it probably won’t happen,” she starts to laugh, “but I can’t help but dread the idea of me falling on my ass or forgetting my lyrics.” Jake laughs with her, shaking his head while pulling away to look at her.

“Knowing you, you’d fall gracefully and make it look like it was intentional. Also you mumble those lyrics in your sleep…you won’t forget them.”

She leans more into him just as the stage manager yells, “You’re on in five, Y/n!” The commercial break must have ended. Lady Gaga was already being pulled on stage after wishing the popstar good luck with a hug and friendly kiss to the cheek. “We need you over here please.”

“That’s your cue,” Jake grins, cupping his wife’s face before bringing her in for a passionate kiss. Y/n smiles into it, nuzzling their noses together causing him to chuckle. When they pull away he says, “Go out there and have fun. Bottom line, baby, have fun out there and sing your heart out. I’m so lucky and honored to be your husband and share this life with you. Don’t start crying,” he playfully scolds when her eyes tear up, “you’ll ruin your nice makeup your team worked so hard on.” That makes her laugh. Jake kisses her again, “I love you, baby. I’ll see you at the end.”

“I love you, Jake,” she hugs him tightly, feeling comfort in the smell of his cologne. “Thank you for being by my side everyday. You’re the light of my life—,” she nods to the stage manager who was waving frantically. “Fuck okay, I wanted to be more romantic but I got to go before they drag me.”

“Go, go,” he kisses her cheek, Y/n moving quickly to kiss her children and hug her managers before waving goodbye. “We love you!!”

Running to the nearly annoyed stage manager, she throws off her robe to reveal her stage outfit and takes the microphone. Heart pounding, she adjusts her earpiece as they escort her to the spot she was needed just as Lady Gaga finished her introduction speech, “Los Angeles and to everyone watching at home, it is my honor to present to you your recipient of this year’s MTV Video Vanguard Award. Get on your feet and make some noise for the one and only, Y/n L/n!!”

It was still dark on stage where Y/n was hidden from the audience as all attention went to the giant screens all around showing the pre-recorded video montage with her face in black and white and eyes closed. The crowd was already going crazy as the camera zoomed in toward Y/n’s face while audio played of her talking about her love for music and the thrill of performing. The camera continued to pan in, the popstar on stage thinking about everything that had led her to that moment. From starting out her days singing in a jazz club, to becoming one of only 19 EGOT winners, and now the recipient of the Video Vanguard award.

The microphone went to her mouth, Y/n putting on the show of the year when the video ended with her eyes opening and voice echoing the music channel’s iconic phrase in the stadium, “I want my MTV!!”

…………

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan, @caitsymichelle13, @poppyalice2001, @cutelittlepotatofry, @luckyladycreator2, @americaarse, @elenavampire21, @back-tooo-black

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ink-flavored · 2 months

Text

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

This looked fun, and I love answering lists of questions

Tagging: @foxys-fantasy-tales @noblebs @ceph-the-ghost-writer @auntdarth @damageinkorporated @srjacksin @wyked-ao3 @alesseia and anyone else who wants to do it!

Blank Questions for those who join me!

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014, but I didn’t make this writeblr sideblog until 2019.

What led you to create it?

Mainly because I crave organization, and I felt weird posting my fanfiction to a blog where I didn’t really talk about writing. Plus, I didn’t feel like anyone on my main would have been interested in hearing me talk about my original writing either, and even if they were, it would have been drowned in everything else I reblogged. I wanted to have a place that was 100% dedicated to writing to keep my blog topics more organized.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

I love talking about writing, for one, but I also love how many varied ideas you see in this community. There are SO MANY incredible WIPs waiting to be discovered here, of any genre you can think of, featuring ideas that make you salivate. The world-building some of you people have going on is fucking amazing, and I’m eating it.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I love talking about stories, including yours! Come say hello if you feel at all inclined to!

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

More people going crazy and/or stupid about their own stuff. Be your own biggest fan, and others will follow!

The kinds of writing I always enjoy seeing more of, in general, though: poetry (literally any kind of poetry), fantasy (high & urban), sci-fi (hard & soft), crime (bonus points if set during the Prohibition), romance, erotica (bonus points if kinky), detailed world-building (bonus points for fiddly politics, more bonus points if it’s inspired by other cultures than the generic European template), and any of these things in combination with each other!

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Reblog other people’s work if you want them to reblog yours, always send someone an ask if you reblog an ask game from them, don’t be afraid to self-reblog no matter how annoying you think it is, but most importantly, do whatever you want forever. Have fun.

Lots more under the cut!

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Mainly my [currently untitled] urban fantasy anthologies and Pride & Justice. My anthologies are getting outlined for my own make-shift “write as much as you can” challenge I’m doing in parallel to NaNo this year, and I’m basically always thinking about P&J at all times whether I like it or not.

How long have you been working on them?

My anthologies are only officially around… a year or two old, probably? I had the initial impetus to start them ages ago (like, closer to 4 or 5 years ago), but didn’t start working on them as an actual project until relatively recently. Hell, I didn’t have the idea for an erotic urban fantasy anthology until December 2023!!

As for Pride & Justice, it will celebrate its second birthday on August 9th! It’s the only WIP I have such a specific date for, since it originally started as a fanfic I did for AUgust2022.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

For my anthologies, I’ve always loved urban fantasy, but pretty much all the urban fantasy I could find growing up was lacking in some way (to me). Either the fantasy elements were pasted onto our already existing world—usually “in secret” or with some other excuse to keep the “regular people” from finding out—or it was a genuine fantasy world with more advanced technology, but always a detective story. Seriously, what’s with urban fantasy and detective thrillers? They’re cool, but there’s so many of them…

I craved something closer to a “slice of life” urban fantasy—what would a fantasy world with our current level of technology and manufacturing actually look like? How would people live, what would a city be like, how would things like magic change what a sufficiently advanced culture looks like? And then, of course, the crazy magical sex????? That’s the logic I’m working from with both my anthologies, a sort of “what-if” combined with a slice-of-life peek into urban fantasy lives.

For P&J it’s a lot simpler: the fanfiction I wrote simply didn’t want to be a fanfiction. It wanted to be something bigger, more original, with more room to breathe. I gave it permission to be itself.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

All of the time. Forever. If I am thinking about something, it’s probably my WIPs.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I reflexively answer “fantasy, and I dabble in sci-fi and contemporary fiction.” Sometimes I clarify I write both high and urban fantasy, because most people assume high fantasy. I usually also mention I write poetry, and sometimes I’ll mention my Magnet Monday schtick.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

Well, if people could get really cool about me saying “fantasy romance and erotica” that would be neat. I think we’re still a little ways off from other people’s reactions not being 1) smiling stiffly but politely before changing the subject or 2) making a rude face before changing the subject.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created. Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

List them all? We’d be here a while.

I have an OC Roulette that I spin when I need to pick a character at random for whatever reason, so I’ll just list the ones currently on it: Pride, Justice, Kindness, Ollie, Sofia, Dante, Honesty, Lust, Xinya, Yu-Qi, Jao, Han Lao, Sita Zhai, Asim, Mira, Cahaya, Priscilla, Henry, Yvonne, Harlan, Hayden, Lenora, Teconia, Seraph, Park, Jamie, Kiran. And the OC Roulette list will surely expand as I come up with more blorbos.

Who’s the most unhinged?

It depends on how you define unhinged, I guess? Yu-Qi could be considered unhinged because she’s a God-Dragon who does not care much what you think of her and does literally whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Priscilla enjoys violence to a suspicious degree, to the point where her husband just sighs and shrugs about it. Honesty is an Evangelical Christian angel with the one and only mission to carry out God’s Word. Take your pick, really.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Can I just blanket say “the protagonists”? Generally, I use the POV characters for a reason, and it’s because I find them the most comfortable to write. I very rarely write multi-POV stories, and when I do switch POVs, it’s usually for one very significant part that the regular POV character isn’t present for or something. So—Pride, Xinya, Asim, Priscilla, etc.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Honestly, not really. Sometimes I get nervous about people accusing me of self-inserting or whatever, but then I remember that those people are stupid and lame. Of course my characters are going to be at least a little like me—I created them. Some will be more similar than others, but I put a little bit of myself into everything I write, including the characters. And even if they were self-inserts, who cares? I can do whatever I want, and don’t need to cater to pissants.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

They fly off the handle sometimes. The most persistent example is from The God-Dragon’s Wife, which was supposed to be about a monogamous couple, but a prominent side character started hassling me to make it a polycule so she could join in. I am now rethinking the entire plot to see if I can make it work.

In general, though, I feel like my characters exist somewhere in between “totally under my control” and “completely unrestrained.” I can drop a character into a scenario and act them through it, and there are absolutely times where I go “nah that’s out of character,” and have to change something. But for the most part, it’s like… observation. If I have a good handle on a character’s personality, arc, and motivations, I can just watch. Wow, look at ‘em go…

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

YEAH!!!!! ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!!

Honestly, no preferred medium for questions. Send me an ask, reply in a post, DM me, message me on Discord (if you have it), leave a comment on my website, whatever. I love talking about my characters, and if you also want to talk to me about my characters, well that means I love you too.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

Usually I scope out a blog and see if their WIPs are interesting enough for me to want to see regularly on my dash. Sometimes I’ll see a post from someone looking for other blogs that post [x] genre or [y] content, and if they match up with what I do, I’ll skim their intros (if they have them). I don’t like horror, so I’m not gonna follow people who only post horror stuff. I really like fantasy, so I’m more inclined to follow people who post fantasy stuff. If I see a particularly interesting WIP, I’ll follow the person even if it’s not the kind of thing I normally read. It all depends!

What makes you decide against following?

Genres I don’t like to read and my personal squicks, usually. Maybe the WIPs didn’t grab me. Some writeblr blogs are also people’s main blogs where they post a lot of other non-writing things, and I usually don’t follow those since I’m here for the writing first and foremost.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometimes! Usually it’s my mutuals who talk to me the most, so I interact with them the most. As a general rule though, if you talk to me, I’m gonna talk to you back, no matter what our following status is.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

If I know enough about them, yeah! I have plenty of other people’s OCs floating around in my brain from time to time, especially if they’re a regular occurrence on my dash.

#annika talks #ask game

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thekidsare-not-alright · 1 year

Note

Sorry to bother you with this question but I don't really know anyone in FOB fandom. I'm not new here, but I do work an extremely busy job (I'm an ER nurse) so I am admittedly a bit lost on some things about this current tour. Like what is the 8 ball stuff, and do you happen to know any general set list for the shows? If you don't feel like answering, that's totally cool too. I see a lot of your posts in the FOB tag so I thought I'd ask. :) Thank you in advance! xx

First, thank you for your all that you do in healthcare! Absolutely no apologies, I'm happy to help :)

Major tourdust spoilers ahead! (of course)

I'm going to take this ask as a chance to explain all the setlist fun stuff in one spot, so here we go! The setlist has been consistent except for four main points, which I'll explain below. For ease, I'm going to be referring to Bonner Springs' setlist (6/24/23), so when I use numbers to refer to song placement, those are the ones I mean.

If you wanna skip ahead anon, magic 8 ball is explained in letter D :]

A. The first change in the setlist has only happened once and takes place 6th in the setlist, following 16 candles and preceding Grand Theft Autumn. It's usually Chicago Is So Two Years Ago, but has also been Homesick at Space Camp and Dead On Arrival (after their respective tour debuts as magic 8 ball songs). Songs 6-8 are played in a TTTYG themed section of the set every night.

B. The second change is slightly more regular and takes place 12th in the setlist. This song is often "The Take Over, The Breaks Over," but every now and then it gets swapped out for Hum Hallelujah, as well as Bang the Doldrums (after its live debut as a magic 8 ball song in LA). It was once swapped out with 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen).

C. The third change is different almost every night, with only a couple repeats here and there. This is Patrick's section of the setlist, at track 15 after Fake Out, where he just plays one or two snippets of songs on piano (or sometimes acoustic guitar) before a shortened cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Oftentimes, if he plays two songs, one of them is from Fall Out Boy and the other is a cover of whatever he feels like. Often referred to as "piano medley" or just "medley." (Golden, What A Catch, Donnie, and What a Time to be Alive have been very popular relatively for this part of the setlist, sksk patrick)

D. The fourth and final change on the setlist is known as the "Magic 8 Ball" song and takes place after Hold Me Like a Grudge at track 23. This song is where Pete asks a "giant magic 8 ball" (a screen above the stage) what song they should play anywhere from their entire discography. Here's a video of him asking (the spiel is about the same every night). Each magic 8 ball song has been different for each show, with exceptions described in letter H. Some of these songs have never been played live before, some haven't been played in over a decade, some just haven't been played in a while or as often but they are a complete secret/surprise every night! Additionally, Pete has said that once a song has been played for the magic 8 ball section, it can appear elsewhere in the setlist at future shows. So, really, anything can happen.

Fall Out Boy has gotten even more unhinged lately, so here are a few more setlist changes.

E. As mentioned above, the piano medley usually ends with a cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Twice now, however, this song has been sacrificed for other songs: August 1st for Gym Class Heroes' Travie Mccoy being brought on stage (Patrick played part of Stereo Hearts on piano, then they all played Cupid's Chokehold) and again on August 2nd for Sweet Caroline (a Boston Red Sox/Fenway Park tradition). The Journey cover has been played every show since.

F. Up until recently, a cover of Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train has been played after Baby Annihilation and before Dance, Dance. Enter Sandman by Metallica seems to have replaced Crazy Train in the setlist as of August 5th. Sometimes referred to (by me) as the "metal cover."

G. The only song from MANIA to make it on the tour's setlist, The Last of the Real Ones, has been cut from the setlist for a second Magic 8 Ball song (occurring right after the first Magic 8 Ball song). At first, it seemed like it was cut only for the duration of Patrick's sickness or for noise curfew, but it has not yet returned as of August 5th. It was a part of the "permanent" setlist up until July 29th, when it was last played.

H. As mentioned in letter G, a second Magic 8 Ball song has been added to the setlist every night since July 30th (Toronto, ON). The following cities have gotten two Magic 8 Ball songs:

LA, CA (July 2nd and 3rd) - first sold out show of the tour, Pete's home

Toronto, ON (July 30th) - only date in Canada

Forest Hills, NY (Aug 1st) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Boston, MA (Aug 2nd) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Darien Center, NY (Aug 4th) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Camden, NJ (Aug 5th) - they're probably just having a lot of fun doing spontaneous songs at the end of this leg! <3

For each double magic 8 ball night, the first one is a new song (one not yet played on Tourdust before, regular magic 8 ball rules apply) and the second is a repeat magic 8 ball song (any of the previous ones).

I. Spontaneous covers such as Shipping up to Boston and Coffee Mug have also appeared once each without cutting other songs in their place. The former was a nod to Boston and the latter a tribute. Really, just be prepared for anything at all times.

Extra fun note: The official setlists have the mystery song written in code, mostly using the NATO phonetic alphabet by abbreviating either the song's title or a key set of lyrics (GINASFS was written as "Golf" on the first setlist, Of All The Gin Joints in All The World, commonly referred to as Gin Joints, had the code name "Gamma Juliet," while Fame < Infamy's code name was "Bravo Whiskey Papa," referring to the lyrics "better with (a) pen" in the song)

Basically, they've been talking about having some of that old pre-fame ~scene rock show~ vibe where everything was spontaneous and they played til the cops showed up. It's a taste of going back to their roots and giving the fans what they want (and having a ton of fun while doing it!)

[I used this spreadsheet as a reference, made by this person on twitter]

So sorry anon for the novella here, I'm sure you wanted something quick but I couldn't help myself oops heh

#fall out boy #fob #pete wentz #patrick stump #joe trohman #andy hurley #tourdust spoilers #smfs #magic 8 ball

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prinnamon · 6 months

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@spiderh0rse has been posting some fantastic notes while it makes its way through Freeman's Mind, so i got inspired to do the same for Mind of Ryan today! it's a shorter series, so here's my thoughts on all eight episodes plus extras. was not expecting to sit down and watch it all today but i was overcome by the need to do so. you know how it is.

WIKI

full name: Ryan Harrison Sullivan

date of birth: August 25, 1976

has received HEV training

working in "mechanics & AI development"

EPISODE 1

listening to "Anywhere But Here" from the album The Story Of The Mechanical Man by Behavior at the start of Episode 1, meaning the series must take place after its release in May 2001.

drives to work ("helicopter rides are too expensive," so apparently the employees have to pay out-of-pocket to fly out to the facility)

didn't sleep well the night before. yet another mindverse character who refuses to get good sleep or eat a nice meal

wears his lab coat all the time even outside of work because he thinks it makes him look "cool as fuck" and because it's very comfortable. people think he's weird for this.

he used to live in michigan

one time a raccoon bit into the power lines and this knocked the power out for the entire town he lived in

willing to shrug it off when people start talking like sephiroth in his mentions say concerning shit. very "haha ok whatever you say man"

barney is his roommate. ryan thinks of him as lazy. barney relies on ryan as his alarm but ryan is not above giving the fuck up since barney is a heavy sleeper

excited at the sight of a mechanical keyboard (based)

appreciator of air conditioning. his college (presumably UChicago; see Episode 6.5) had no a/c.

ryan knows barney gets pissed about it when he finds a safety violation like a lack of handrails on a staircase or walkway, but he never reports these violations

just. casually hops over a counter to throw something away in an inaccessible trash can. tells people to get over themselves about it when they react negatively

EPISODE 2

ryan works in sector G as a robotics engineer

wonders if he's "the only young scientist here," so probably either doesn't know Gordon, Felix, Stark, and Ramirez or is only referring to his department

KNOWS COLETTE GREEN. LIKES HER. THINKS SHE'S COOL. (based)

"she is just the right amount of crazy." is a little younger than her

hasn't been late to work often.

could live without his break, but it would suck.

thinks the transit station is "unnecessarily huge"

can get a little mean in a tense situation (calls a guard a "dumbass")

mind goes blank in a crisis ("i just don't even know what to fucking think right now!")

EPISODE 3

his chest hurts when he wakes up. presumably from cpr.

"my brain isn't really registering everything that's happening. i feel like i should be panicking, but i'm not."

hates roaches. does know they're a vital part of the ecosystem and that his hatred is irrational but hates them anyway

"hi, rat."

notices his lab coat is dirty. he's unsure why he's fixated on that when he has bigger problems.

cold and wet and NOT having fun!

illustrated end card shows him holding his flashlight up over his shoulder

EPISODE 4

gets attacked by a headcrab, which presumably gives him the little cut on his right cheek seen in every end card from this episode forward!

uncurious about the aliens. does NOT want to know what they are. just get him outta there

knows everything about the tau cannon. recites facts about it to calm himself down. i think his mental "happy place" is just a rotating 3D model of the tau cannon. which is incredibly real. also he calls it the tau cannon (based)

his plan for today, if he'd actually gotten to work, was to "see if [he] could apply a self-limiter to the alt fire to prevent it from overcharging."

he wishes he was in his lab right now.

his reaction to seeing a dead guard lying next to their equipment is "oh, hey, a bulletproof vest!" and he takes it and puts it on with NO hesitation. he then immediately starts searching the corpse for other useful shit. and this is like. one of the first dead bodies he came across. really just getting right to it. who needs to descend into apathy when you can save time by starting there?

able to recognize that this situation is incredibly fucked-up but not really able to engage with that fact emotionally.

it feels wrong to him to kill the headcrab zombies. he recognizes that they probably used to be his coworkers. after taking out two of them, he resolves not to do it anymore.

EPISODE 5

his black mesa-issued flashlight is a shake-to-charge light.

barnacles are "ceiling tongues."

"man, that thing killed Bob. he was two days from retirement. how could you do that?" i have no idea if he's being serious and he recognized the construction worker who got killed by a barnacle here or if he's making a joke to dispel the horrors—oh. yeah. he flat out says he has no clue who that guy was

his robotics lab is in the biology building! he doesn't understand this, but he also doesn't mind. (Heather's a biologist! maybe he knows her, since they work in close proximity.)

ditches the vest for improved mobility.

chuckles in disbelief after managing an impressive feat of acrobatics

says electrical failures and brief power outages were regular occurrences even before the incident

takes a snickers bar off a dead guard

could go for a pizza right now

can't rule out that the facility's haunted

"what the fuck is that? wait. that reaction is not suitable. allow me to rephrase: AAAAAAAAHHH!" hmm. i see. makes another tally mark on my "Ryan's first instinct in this situation is not to panic, and he only really does so because he thinks it's what a reasonable person would do right now" list

EPISODE 6

lived out of a storage unit for a while when he had no other option. he packed all his stuff in a rented storage unit and hid his bed behind the stacks of boxes. it was always miserably cold in there and he did Not have bedding. being in the drainage canal reminds him of what that was like

acknowledges he may have to fight the headcrab zombies eventually but "just can't stand the idea of beating them to death" because of how violent and brutal it feels

really doesn't wanna leave the guard with the broken leg to die but reluctantly accepts his weapon when he says he's "never gonna make it"

even with a gun, he'd rather run from danger. gotta conserve ammo.

"why is it so difficult to leave the building?!"

impressed that the guy in the control room hacked the announcement system. tried to do so for April Fools last year but failed to bypass the firewall

panics and accidentally kills(?) mister control room by shooting the bullsquid attacking him with a shotgun, sending both the bullsquid and the guy flying out the window. feels really truly quite bad about that.

EPISODE 6.5

ryan went to the university of chicago!

ryan drinks squirt (the grapefruit-flavored soda)

in 1995 he spent $1500 on a giant fucking heavy ass laptop while absolutely not having the money to do so. he regrets nothing. he love computer

EPISODE 7

OH RYAN HAS A CUSTOM 3D MODEL. OKAY. SICK. ANIMATED OPENING.

has a cell phone on him

injured his leg pretty bad when the elevator fell but doesn't seem to have lost consciousness at any point. yeowch!

concerned about how the pain in his ears from firing a gun in a vent is significantly less than the pain earlier from the houndeyes' soundwave. wonders if he's sustained permanent hearing damage.

his tune has changed regarding vents. hated being in the first one he had to crawl into. now they're a nice change of pace, because he at least knows larger enemies can't follow him in and chase him.

barnacles ceiling tongues are now "tongue monsters." he addresses one as Chunky the Tongue Monster.

a little sad/guilty watching as guards fight for their lives and he ascends on an elevator towards the surface. "this whole situation is just so fucked, man. you just kinda have to look after yourself, and if anybody gets hurt or dies, you just have to leave them. damn."

his phone is a Nokia 3300B. it is a thing of beauty.

once he gets high enough to have cell service, he gets a call from Tod Arlen, who's been trying to call him for hours. Ryan says Arlen's "the last person [he] expected a call from."

arlen has already escaped with Kate by this point!

arlen warns ryan that he's heard some black ops chatter and they plan to blow the place up. ryan is silent about this until arlen's like "are you there?" and ryan very calmly/dismissively says "yeah. well don't worry about me, man. im almost at the parking garage so i'll be fine :)"

they make plans to meet at the clayton airport when ryan gets out. (and, over the phone with arlen, ryan does seem pretty confident it's a "when" situation, not an "if.")

ryan seems calm and casual throughout the phone call but lets himself freak out about the gravity of the situation as soon as he hangs up. ("i'm going to fucking die.")

EPISODE 8

the wiki suggests that an eighth episode was in production at one point, but there's no such thing on YouTube unless you count an unlisted video called "Shotgun SFX Test - Mind of Ryan Episode 8"

there's an end card for ep8 showing ryan having survived being shot. i don't believe episode 8 got made. i think the illustration is all there is.

there is a speedpaint of the episode 8 end-card tho!

"STARTING OVER."

"the only way mind of ryan will come back is through the form of a reboot, and i don't know when or if that's going to happen."

#i like this fella. i feel like he and stark would get along ok.#prinna's posts #prinna's machinima notes #mind of ryan #ryan sullivan #ryan h sullivan #ryan harrison sullivan #mind machinima

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milascenta · 1 year

Text

August 9th 22:32

I apologise for not posting in a while, I've been dealing with massive migraines for a bout a month or so. But I have found the culprit and have fixed the problem, I'm feeling much better now. I should be able to get back to streaming soon too, with better equipment/quality. I realised too late that my second monitor had been going on 10 years now so it was giving out this high pitched signal, I just thought it was my mild tinnitus. My tinnitus was being compounded on, giving me massive headaches and making me feel just crap all the time, turning off the monitor would even help too, I would have to completely disconnect all the cables for it to stop, which is just inconvenient. I thought I was going crazy for a while just hearing this tone constantly in my room, but thinking it was just my tinnitus. But my tinnitus isn't that bad, just the usual you'd get from listen to live music constantly and working with audio in general. So its calmed down a lot recently too. So I realised it was my second monitor and got rid of it, got a new one (pretty much the same as my main one just smaller, same refresh rate same brand and even same product line, only difference is panel, main is IPS and 2nd is now VA, idk really know the difference lol) so it looks a lot better and I'm really happy with it. It feels just like having one massive monitor, I don't think I would get a wide screen monitor I like having two separate ones, but they feel so similar neither is better, obviously main is a few inches bigger though. During this time though I hadn't felt like doing anything, not going on tumblr just kinda rotting away with my head exploding. I have been doing my Dr appointments though and only have a couple left, I need blood tests and then hear back from the Lung specialist about my echocardiogram (just to make sure my heart is ok after everything) and then its back to the surgeon for talks of surgery to finish everything. Its finally getting there and I can move on with my life. My arm still keeps me up at night and hurts constantly but after surgery it should be good, also I am going to ask if I can keep the piece of my rib they cut out haha, surely they can't say no, its literally me and mine hahaha. I'm going for blood tests tomorrow, hopefully, or at least to be able to get an appointment for it, then off to hematologist then surgeon.

I'm sorry I was gone, I've still been here reading your posts though. The service looked lovely, the bikers showing up was really touching and exactly what I thought would happen, they stick together. The flowers looked beautiful and also your nails. I understand it was hard, It would be weird if it wasn't you know, I understand that it sits heavy with you too, you will get stronger with it. I know there is much else to do now other than process and sometimes that feels worse than having to deal with things because at least there's something to do, but this is finally time for you to process and feel and become you. But I know thats not easy, and thats ok. It reminds me of something someone told me a lil bit ago, "A cut in a tree doesn't prevent it from growing, a cut in a tree doesn't grow larger or shrink, the tree becomes larger though. The tree continues to grow regardless. The tree grows until and you realise that the cut looks smaller in comparison, it isn't smaller, but the tree is larger" and I try and think about that sometimes because its easy to let things consume you, let things grow larger than you and before you realise it. But everyday you're growing, everyday that tree is getting larger and stronger, and in comparison the cut gets smaller and smaller. Don't let bad days turn you off that, and don't forget the good times.

I really hope you have fun in London next week, thats soo awesome you're seeing Joji, I would love to see him one day. Been a fan of him since his FilthyFrank days and legit thought he was so talented as a musician and that he was hiding it under so many layers of irony haha. Now he's like one of the biggest muscians in the world which is crazy.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well, I hope you get better soon, take time to relax and hydrate properly. I look forward to you streaming, even if its just once it will be so fun! Don't put too much pressure on not being able to right now, getting better is more important.

"Now the dark begins to rise, Save your breath its far from over"

#her

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electricrogue · 2 years

Text

I posted 505 times in 2022

31 posts created (6%)

474 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unleashed111

@teslacriss

@tinknevertalks

@maverey

@droidmom

I tagged 208 of my posts in 2022

#music baby - 41 posts

#within temptation - 12 posts

#sharon den adel - 8 posts

#i mean - 7 posts

#heh - 7 posts

#everything comes back to teslen - 6 posts

#yes - 5 posts

#well - 4 posts

#the amazing devil - 4 posts

#but still - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#at this rate the border police will pick me up from the airport before i even get the chance to set foot in canada or netherlands

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sharon den Adel isn’t fucking human

... no, really. For context, I was at a music festival in my country - Way Too Far Rock Festival, and believe me that name is earned xD. And Within Temptation were headliners there and I got to see them live (again, it was my third time actually but definitely not the last one) and aaaaah.

First of all, that woman is like fucking quicksilver. Like it was my first time I had a decent enough phone to try and make pictures and I was trying to get a shot of her with the boys but like... one second she was here, then she was on the opposite side of the stage, running like hell from one place to another and I was just trying (and mostly failing) to keep up with her.

Also because of Covid bullshit this was the first time I got to hear the newer songs live (newer meaning Resist and the singles that came after that). And just... It was late and my feet were hurting a bit and I was tired but the second I heard the trumpets in Reckoning and she came on stage I forgot about all of that. It’s such a surge of... life, there’s no other word for it, that you get when she starts singing that it’s fucking unbelievable.

Also fun stuff they played also their most recent single, Don’t Pray For Me, and I feel like I have to punch some people for that. Why, you ask? Because Sharon was like “ok so we wrote this one and then we wrote like a whole ass story about the reason we wrote it and actually it’s about this and that”. And here comes the want to punch people, because she had to do that because people complained. And ok I get religion is a touchy subject, but she didn’t sing about religion, not really. She sang about how when you stuff religion down someone’s throat it becomes an issue, and she’s fucking right about it. And you know what even if she sang against religion, I never heard anyone complain about Weak Fantasy or Cry For The Moon for that matter so yeah. Hypothetically if she wanted she could also be against religion a bit. You know, as a treat.

Also they did Raise Your Banner and they sang it for Ukraine (I will post that separately because it deserves its own post) and God... chills.

Also also there was a real cute moment at the end where Sharon noticed there were kids in the audience and she was like “you know what bring some kids on stage, like the two girls over there and the two boys over here“ and in 30 seconds she had like 20 of them on the stage? Like I hated audiences when I was a kid (I’m not too good about them now either) but to have that done to me when I was a kid? I’m pretty sure I would have become an instant fan. And that is based only on how cute and caring Sharon was with them like some of them were a bit out of their element(totally understandable) but she took care of them and told them were to stay and calmed them down and 20 seconds later they were singing like crazy with her and yeah. Nobody is immune to Sharon that’s all I’m saying.

... and on a final note I wanna kiss whoever designed Sharon’s outfit because damn that was gorgeous. And yes I know Sharon is probably the one who came up with the idea I said what I said. Like the crown and the metal thingie on the arm (I wish she kept those more but it’s probably hard to navigate with them).

6 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

See the full post

7 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Everyone is like "oh it's not the same without Henry" this "Liam and Joey will not have the same chemistry" that... Honestly get Madeleine Hyland to play Geralt instead and all your problems would be solved

9 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

So fair warning chances are this post will piss you off if you're a Nightwish fan. Especially the kind that thinks Tuomas is Mozart or Beethoven reincarnated or something. Also long ass post ahead.

That being said... I went to a concert of theirs yesterday. Am I a Nightwish fan? I wouldn't go that far. Like yes I know their songs well enough to sing along to them and they have nice lyrics I will give them that... But the problem is I don't like Tuomas as a person. I liked Marco even less but he's gone now so yeah that problem was solved. So why did I go to the concert, then? Because basically I was curious to see what the fuss is about. That and I do like Floor no not like that and I figured just because she's singing for a douche doesn't mean I have to skip going to see her live.

Now about the show... Good stuff first. They have nice special effects like fire and smoke and all, probably the nicest I've seen out of all the concerts in this genre that I've been to. This is also because they had the biggest stage, like I know given the space Within Temptation and Epica have nice effects too, but alas people in my country are idiots and Nightwish is the only symphonic metal band most of them know about. Which has the nasty consequence that everyone else is demoted to shittier stages.

Also, Floor is a damn good singer I will give her that. The best they had in some ways, and I say this as someone who is a Tarja fan (yes, this is why I don't like Tuomas, I know it wasn't only his fault she left but the way I see it it was a dumbass cockfight between two idiots - not a fan of Tarja's husband either). But I digress. The nice thing about Floor is that she has a mother fucking impressive range. Like Tarja could hit those high notes and Anette could be creepy and haunting... But Floor can do both. She can go from belting the high notes of Shoemaker to the grunts in Tribal in a heartbeat and I love that for her. If Nightwish would be her band there's a very good chance they'd be my second favorite band in the genre. Second one because nothing will ever top Within Temptation for me but still.

... but the thing is, it's not her band. It's Tuomas' band and that... Is painfully obvious. Like don't get me wrong I know he writes the music and the lyrics and that he's a damn good composer. Not the best and not the Mozart of our times thank you very much. But the thing is, there is a reason why these are called female fronted metal bands. They'd be fucked without the girls. And yes Floor is center stage but Tuomas is also center stage towering over her and the camera focuses on him mostly and everyone is like "oh our good friend Tuomas wrote this when he was drunk on a submarine" or something and yeah. Also what pisses the hell out of me, they never introduced the band. Like every band I know has this moment near the end where the main singer goes through the members of the band and introduces them to the audience. And that seems common sense to me because it's a fucking teamwork and everyone plays their part so they should be at least acknowledged. But that didn't happen. Without any previous knowledge of the band you'd go back home knowing there's a dude Tuomas who wrote Nemo and that's it. And while we're at it do NOT get me started on that song and the very creepy undertones of "I don't mean anything unless you love me" because yeah... Really not liking the implications of that.

Also, and this is not on Floor, she's doing her best... But the change of lead singers hurt them. Like you have songs like Nemo and Sleeping Sun which are Tarja's. Then you have Imaginaerum which is Anette's and nothing Floor does will ever change that. I'm not saying she's bad at singing them because she's not, it's just that you are used to the studio versions and live it sounds differently and you have a moment of wtf happened. Fucking Holopainen happened that's what

You know what the short version of all this is? One that will make sense to probably only four people that follow me but yeah. Nightwish are basically the X-Men of symphonic metal. Like sure they're the most famous in their genre and they are flashy and impressive and all... But they would be better if they let the girl(s) loose more. If you ask me symphonic metal is a kind of thing that needs a woman's touch. And by touch I mean the woman should be in charge. Come to think at it two of the most successful bands in the genre are lead by girls and it worked for them. Delain is basically led by the less smarter Westerholt and look where that got them

11 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Buckle up pals I'm gonna tell you a story. Which is incidentally also sort of a literary analysis of a song so yeah if you're not into that leave while you still can XD. Well, more like a specific part of Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious. This one to be more precise:

And in a moment of total rapture

And with every strength I have

I ask if you play D&D

And your face lights up like you’ve woken up

From this endless fucking nightmare of pretending this is you,

This is us, this is me, this how we’re meant to be

But your smile tells me I’m safe

And that voice unspoken’s heard

Cos if god made us all in his image

Then god’s a fucking nerd

So basically the story is about what my source blood sister calls the fangirl gene. Like there's people who get remotely excited about stuff and there's people who fall really deep for their calling. (Yes I went there). Whatever said calling is, it can be a tv show or a celebrity or even fucking stamps for all I care. It's not the what that matters. What matters is that society is expecting you to be a functional adult and if you go beyond a level of obsession it looks at you in a weird way. So you tone it down and you don't advertise it too much and you try to sound casual about it because normal people are not interested in you going in hour long rants over stuff, you know?

But you know what? It's exhausting to pretend to be normal when you're not. And you can't really be friends with people who you have to pretend with because you have this constant fear you'll slip and then they'll judge and you'll have to kill cut ties with them. I didn't do it in the past and God I regret that but I won't make the same mistake again. Like ok maybe you're not into something, I get that, but when someone you like loves that thing, the most you're allowed to say in my book is something along the lines of "eh not my cup of tea but you do you". That's it. Not "ugh why do you like that shit it's for kids" or whatever.

But I digress and this wasn't supposed to be about the bad ones it was supposed to be about the good ones XD. You know gaydars? I suck at that but I like to think I'm pretty good at having a fandar. As in, to know when someone has a thing for something. Again, what isn't that important(of course it's a thousand times better when they're into the same stuff as you are, but it's not mandatory). It's just the way they talk about stuff or they get pissed about stuff because let's be real fangirling can also involve getting pissed off. They care, to sum it up. And honestly? It's so damn refreshing to meet someone like that. Because you see yourself in them, in the way they get excited about stuff and then they go like 'eh whatever' before you think they're mad, in the way they start ranting and there's that little spark in their eyes and gah. It's these things that make you feel safe with them and you just know they're keepers. At least as friends but it can go either way.

70 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #pretty much as my spotify wrapped tbh #music baby #and joey #i can live with that

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orphancookie69 · 2 years

Text

My Infertility Journey: Part 4

Yeah, future me needs to go in the past and tell past me to not be crazy. Well, they have not arrived yet-part four starts. The sooner I get in the drivers seat the sooner I park my car in the winners circle I hope....Just hopping on late? Here is Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

August 2022:

A week after the ERA comes a cycle. This is highly unusual as it does not normally come that soon. Second half of the month is the start of round 4. Initial ultrasound and bloodwork scheduled to see if the body is on the starting line. Now let’s talk about the definition of insanity, it is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Based on the ERA, I am perfectly fine and we have been doing this with proper timing-so initially they said we are going to move forward with no changes. At consultation, they mentioned adding Intralipids-IV injected twice during the process. I am open to this idea, more than the anti-coagulants, because I think my body can only handle so many injections. I only have two more embryos at this point, and while I want to make sure they have the best odds of sucess-there are physical limitations of being...ya know...human?

The results from the blood work came back, my hormones were too high. So they are having me wait and we will reassess on next cycle. I am happy that this news came from the doctor, I felt like it was better to wait and give the body a break. But for some reason, it felt like it would not have as much credence as it does coming from the doctor backed by “data”. I am looking forward to my break and plan on getting a family trip to Havasu in before my next cycle. PARTAY! No but otherwise this is a great time to hunker down and see if I can’t get some good training in for game day. Using muscle stims, heat, massage, and exercise to promote healing of the area. Maintaining diet and exercise to see if I can’t lose anymore weight before then.

September 2022:

Have I ever mentioned how much of this process is PLAYING THE WAITING GAME? But waiting has its own perks. So far just waiting for a cycle to come, estimated to come around the middle of the month according to P Tracker, and see if hormone levels are good enough to move forward. Also, I am (heavily) playing with the idea of implanting two instead of just one. My own doctor says the odds are better with just one, but I have heard a lot of other doctors/patients have success with 2. Part of me really likes the idea of implanting both and having this be the last round, for better or for worse. We will see what the doctor says.

So my body decided to get stuck in “period limbo” this cycle. I get all the feels but none of the results. Doctor did a “wellness check” on me and decided to reset my cycle with a week’s worth of Birth Control. Then we are going to move on the next cycle. I picked up my prescription and then took them, one a day, for a week. My doctor puts me on Enskyce, and man I usually get all of the side effects: migraines, nausea, and lack of energy.

October 2022:

Body goes into cycle and then on Cycle Day 5, we went in for an appointment. Ultrasound and bloodwork looked good, we updated my thyroid panel as well. Now starts injections and the new element this time-intralipids. They are to be done at a third party facility, Oso Home Care in Irvine, in week 4 (before transfer) and after transfer. I am (attempting) to schedule an appointment with Oso Home Care after my next Ultrasound/Bloodwork appointment with Fertility Care in Brea. Ya know the one appointment(s) before implant. It is kind of crazy how much happens in a month.

Drugs: EV (Estradiol Valerate), Dex (Dexamethasone), P4 (Progesterone), hCG, Valium, Doxy (Doxycycline Hyclate), Medrol (methylprednisolone),

Vitamins: Baby Aspirin, Prenatal vitamins (NAC, Prenatal, Omega 3, L Arginine, Coq10, Myo Inositol, D3)

Suggestions: Keto diet/Fasting, Exercise, Proper Injection Guidelines.

Price: $5,000+ (Fertility Care), $100+ (MDR Pharmacy), $550 (Oso Home Care),

Here are some Injection Guidelines:

Before: Ice the area

During: Inject the right area, Massage it after

After: Walk it off a bit, Use a heating pad

In Between: Arnica, Massaging to promote healing

Check: Infection (red, raised/bumpy, burning, itchy)

Note: Injections are intramuscular, and depending on the injection, there are only so many spots you can inject. Just because there are other muscles, does not mean you can use them even if your areas are “out of commission”. You just gotta keep them in commission!

The phone tag that was had was fun by all? Honestly as much as this is not my first rodeo and this should not worry me, the intralipids worry me a bit. Really the scheduling process being the slowest thing ever doesn’t help anything either. Be careful when doing research too, it is not always as helpful as you would think to know what you are signing up for. Also, the slow time between the first and second appointment where there is only an injection every 3 days is lovely. So I barely got my appointment for the intralipid place, if I did not call, that might not have happened. Then went in for the next ultrasound, the last one before implant. Ultrasound was good and blood work was TBD.

This starts the next phase of the process. From here we add 4 hCG shots, add 2 times a day of p4, and continue with EV every 3 days. Also, for the hCG...the first injection has to be in the back area, but the smaller ones can go in the stomach to give the back a bit of a break. Round one of the Intralipids happens. The dexamethasone comes off the schedule just before implant-a couple of meds get added for a couple days around implant. Implant happens, this time it will be a boy (currently between the names Roland and Kai). After implant it is suggested for up to 3 days of rest. Then we move into November (after playing the waiting game) to confirm the pregnancy.

Oso Home Care...Intralipids: Its a cute little place in Irvine. Kind of disorganized and busy but it would seem a lot people go to a facility like this. I got there early. I spent 2.5 hours in the chair. Yeah, kind of a long time. The gals that work there are sweet, but I don’t like how they had to prick both my arms to get it to work. I felt strange after? I am not sure how I was supposed to feel. Based on when I left and where home is, it took an hour to get home. But I hope in the future that since I am already in the system that booking is easier, and I kind of have a better idea of what to expect. Dress comfortable, don’t bring a book.

Ovation Fertility...Implant: I always forget COVID never stopped being a reality for hospital establishments. I always forget to bring a mask to these things. Arrive 15 minutes early in Newport Beach, take a Valium an hour before. Implant goes well-go home and rest. Also, if they let your partner in-film the implant.

Implant day is a day of rest, and this time I am trying to take two more days of rest after. I am an awful patient and this is hard for me to do. Post transfer we ran low on p4 so we transitioned to 1/2 crinone and 1/2 p4 for the every 12 hour injections. There are enough drugs on hand to get through to the pregnancy test and once confirmed, we stick with this or go all crinone. I don’t remember my last boys’ implant well but this time around, my left uterus feels like a battle zone a bit.

Trimester Breakdown:

Part 1: 10/7-1/8

Part 2: 1/9-4/12

Part 3: 4/13-7/15

November 2022:

An appointment was set up to have a blood draw/pregnancy test on 11/7. What was the time like before? I felt most, if not all, the symptoms. Pray tell, what are the symptoms of the first trimester?

First Trimester Signs: Nausea, Metallic Taste, Foggy Brain, Cramps, Tiredness, Breast Tenderness,

For me, and according to old wives tales, boys are supposed to be worse. This round definitely felt different as I felt very sore for up to a week after implant. Google says this is ok but man, it was kind of odd. The first blood test of Week 4/5 happened and TBD. If this goes well, I go two more times-two days apart. In theory the HCG a pregnant body produces should double every day. The first time you are able to view anything on an ultrasound is week 6. The next, and final, intralipid appointment would also happen that week.

The first blood test was good and positive, the next blood test the values should of doubled...and they did not. They increased but did not double. The office wants me to see the third test before jumping to any conclusions. The second blood draw was a 15% rise. The third blood draw was a 66% rise, so they kept us on the schedule and we scheduled the first ultrasound at 6 weeks 4 days. They also had me schedule my second, and last, intralipid appointment for that same day. Prior to going to going into the first ultrasound, there were 50/50 odds that this is a viable pregnancy.

We went in for an ultrasound and there was a gestational sac, but nothing that could be seen in the sac. They did a blood draw, to confirm the hCG is rising as a pregnant body should be. I had an intralipid appointment but they wanted me to move it, and wait for the results. The beta was rising, so we stay in the game another week. Order more drugs from MDR Pharmacy and scheduled another ultrasound for the end of the week. The intralipid appointment was moved to the same day as the next ultrasound.

Oso Home Care...Intralipids: This trip was shorter, already in the system and they have an idea of how quickly you take the liquids and what not. I believe this time was about 3 hours?

Also, I am keeping track of my weight, as women who are overweight before need to be careful how much weight they put on. When I checked on it, I actually had lost weight. Between my keto diet, morning sickness, and other pregnancy symptoms. In the first trimester one can lose a bit, but should this trend keep up in the second trimester...we got problems. Went in for the next appointment and while it was still not where it was supposed to be, there was improvement in both Beta (blood draw) and ultrasound findings. By this time I am almost 8 weeks along and there should be some major organs created, like the heart.

December 2022:

The next ultrasound would be interesting as it was kind of the determined trip to “call it”. Why would I want to call it? Because since implant, it has been very “we don’t have good news but we have not bad news so keep injecting”. And the body can only take so much for something that they said was most likely to end in bad news? But the doctor makes a good point that while certain things should be in place by this appointment, babies can be “past their due date” so if they are slow to grow, as long as they grow, it is fine? As the train carrying the passenger, the “limbo” is annoying as hell.

The Week 8 Ultrasound: Yeah, so that went about as good as that was going to. The doctor finally called it. It is sad, bumming, annoying, frustrating, relieving yet unwantedly so. They are three options to resolve this round: to let it happen naturally, use drugs to help “speed things along”, or get a D&C. For now, we are going to cancel medications and assess in another couple of days. Did a blood draw to see where the beta is, and establish a comparison point for declines in the future.

For the next blood draw, I could of gone to my Fertility Care office-but with us at the sad end of the process-and them not being part of our insurance-we decided to finish the process in slightly more complicated insured way. They ordered the blood draw at Quest Diagnostics. I made an appointment and the results were sent to Fertility Care. I have seen some insurance that covers infertility, but for the most part that is a sad joke. Some jobs cover that too. If you need that as an option, it’s worth looking into.

Pay attention to your body. I had sharp pains on my lower left abdomen area the day before the blood draw. Like, bad enough to make me basically pointless the rest of the night. The next day they continued, and I called it in. I am now on the alert for heavy bleeding and those pains, as the combination means bad news. But should be signs the body is starting the miscarriage process. To speed things up, they put me on Letrozole and Acetaminophen-COD. This will be my first time having a drug induced natural miscarriage.

Four pills at night for 7 nights, bleeding can last up to a week. Blood was being drawn at Quest Diagnostics and the beta hcg was going down. I used pads for a week to “measure” how much I was bleeding, more than two pads in two hours was bad news. Blood draw to see where we were at, luckily enough for all involved-there was no hemorrhaging. The second week of miscarriage recovery-less blood, less medications, but no less feels? Research shows it could take up to 6 weeks for my body to get back to “normal”. There are some herbs and vitamins I can take to help, but mostly it was rest and food and relaxation.

So, what happened? While there are no answers, there is a scientific name for this. Funny how that works out huh? Here is what I think happened:

“ A blighted ovum, also called an anembryonic pregnancy, occurs when an early embryo never develops or stops developing, is resorbed and leaves an empty gestational sac. The reason this occurs is often unknown, but it may be due to chromosomal abnormalities in the fertilized egg.” (Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/expert-answers/blighted-ovum/faq-20057783)

Because this is an IVF process, and everything is tested and in some ways controlled, I doubt it is because of any chromosomal abnormalities. But it is crazy how many variations of miscarriages are out there. And really, even in the same person’s journey-no two are the same. Oh to know so much yet so little.

Honestly, this is a very tough process. I am not sure what to think. Doctor thinks we should implant (IN ME) the last embryo, possibly changing nothing, and see if it works when I am mentally and emotionally ready. For now, the only thing for sure is its BREAK TIME. Is it too soon for a surrogate? I don’t understand how I can be such a medical mystery. It is a very strange feeling.

#my infertility journey #IVF #in vetro fertilzation #round 4 #pixabay #ERA #intralipids #rant #cvs pharmacy #birth control #enskyce #fertility care #oso home care #ovation fertility #surrogate #quest diagnostics #anembryonic pregnancy #miscarriage #blighted ovum

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elizacinnamon · 3 months

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We almost have to go back and add end of s5/ the beginning of S6 proper to sort out some semblance of a timeline for S6:

5x19 was late may into June time reference for the impending summer plus having had american Mother’s Day / Betty’s graduation.

Then if we kinda disregard 6x01-6x05 even though time progressed we still technically end up with the 5x19 timeline even though its “fall” for some of the episodes.

6x06-6x11? Is supposedly summer time in theory but it was filmed in the fall / beginning of winter in real life in Vancouver. Its why in I believe in a lot of the exterior shots they are wearing thick jackets/ can see their breath at times.

6x12 - a calendar on Betty’s desk references the month of january (also indicating that barchie have been a couple for roughly 5/6 months at this point ? Idk but it makes the whole “what are we ?” Conversation starter seem cheap / the writers couldn’t find a true organic way for her to bring up the subject of possibly being pregnant. As well as the timing of their ILY coming seemingly late by conventional standards.

6x13 til end of season seems like late winter/ to approximately mid spring almost bordering on summer time?

Also we have to remember that I believe its from 6x18 i think it is, until the end of the season its literally only a handful of days that pass in world. Like there is a few references of from end of 6x18 to end of 6x19 it’s been like 2 days… then 6x20 is like possibly 1/2 days, 6x21 is like 1 day and then 6x22 is not really a full 24 hours.

So I guess if there was a pregnancy arc so to speak… she was 2 weeks late mid Jan. As I went back and checked the episode and it seemingly is like Jan 15th when she’s looking at her calendar and that night she tells him she’s 2 weeks late. Plus we know from further context that she’s not on the pill but they were using some form of protection besides that “one time”which us as the viewer has no context to truly. Which could have if we had seen any part of that interaction it could have deepened their relationship further as they both recall that moment meanwhile the audience is left like “EXCUSE ME WHEN WAS THAT?”. Anyway, meaning possibly around late november/early december.. is when it could have happened. Meaning that depending on when it would have happened… the baby would be like September / october? WHICH strangely enough in a way links to their 6x01 Vale plot of them conceiving in the “ fall time” as that is kinda when those episodes were plotted as in a strange way.

Just some random thoughts about the most unconventional plot timings hahaha

This ask made me realize just how chaotic Riverdale time is. But thank you for your effort and time to write all this out!!!

I agree that 5x19 is clearly in June but 6x06 already seems fall-ish? In my mind, 6x06-07 take place in summer and there’s a jump when Betty leaves that lands us closest to Fall.

I also think there’s a jump from 6x10-12, which lands us in winter.

All that to say, if Betty did in fact get pregnant and was around ~6 weeks~ mid January, she would’ve gotten pregnant late November/early December.

I agree it’s crazy Betty asks Archie if they are dating because they would’ve been together six months at this point! But I think she was super insecure and they had so much going that I kind of get it. Also, if you’ve ever dated a friend, I understand the transition can be weird. I also agree that “one time” haunts me and wish we could’ve seen it! I assume they were using condoms and simply ended up in a location where they didn’t have one. Betty was a bit silly to not be on birth control but that’s another conversation.

Allllll that to say, her baby (in this alternative timeline haha) would’ve been a late August/September baby. It’s interesting you mention Rivervale, because that’s an interesting possibly to tie everything together.

Thanks again for your thoughtful work. I will do my best to write the fic and bring it all together. I do feel that I have some flexibility with the timeline bc it’s Riverdale and all time is relevant :)

#ask #barchie fic

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evsvolunteerstotem · 9 months

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Christmas spirit and anticipation

22.12.2023

Ho ho ho!^^

Well, are you in the Christmas spirit yet? At least I can't get enough of it and this year my Christmas mood is accompanied by huge anticipation of my first trip home after 4 months in Plzeň. This is also why I'm writing a few days earlier this time because tomorrow I will be already sitting on the bus on my way home and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally see my family and friends again. :D

In the first months, it was super easy for me to be without them but now after a certain time and especially in the season that –in my opinion- is made for being together with your loved ones, I cannot say that I don't miss them.

Even my hometown which I was so happy to leave back in August has become something that I'm looking forward to. I think the quote "You don't really know how much you miss something until it's gone" definitely fits here but I am totally fine with the fact that it took me the decision to leave my home to fall in love with it again. At the same time Plzeň now even feels like a second home already. I've got a feeling for the city, I have found my favourite cafés, I made new friends who I grew so close with and I've learned the language and therefore already feel like I kind of belong here.

But enough about my current feelings... I'm sure you also want to know more about my last weeks and I can already tell you that it has been a very nice month.

So feel free to read on if you want to know more about my highlights in December…

The month began with a crazy change in weather. December really wanted to live up to its name and so it started to snow sooo much that Bolevec and the rest of the city turned into a little winter wonderland. I really started to get into the spirit, when I crossed the crowded Náměstí Republiky with the smell of freshly made trdelník, mulled wine, and other treats and was captivated by sweet homemade jewelry and figurines, cups, and clothing. At this point, I have to say that it's so hard not to buy anything, but it always helps me to ask myself if I really need another bowl, scarf or candle and the like (spoiler: the honest answer is almost always "no";D).

But of course I had to buy at least something for my family, because I knew that I wouldn’t have much time for that, when I came home (to be precise, just one day haha).

Therefore it was very pleasant for me that there is a really beautiful bookstore in Plzeň that sells -besides Czech and English literature- also very nice German books. And so I was able to leave the shop with a bag full of exciting and interesting literary works. The question I hadn't asked myself yet was how to transport all of them home and I’m still thinking about a good solution for that. ;D

Apart from getting into the Christmas mood this month, I loved meeting friends in cafes or pubs, going to the cinema with Káťa or taking walks through the forest, inhaling the cold fresh air and getting impressed by the beautiful surroundings.

One of my highlights this month so far was definitely that Maren spontaneously visited me for a few days!!! I was very happy to see her again and it felt so real and so surreal at the same time to have her back with me. We enjoyed a long weekend together and I loved how we just jumped into the conversation as if we hadn't even been apart for some time.

She arrived on Thursday in the late afternoon and we met in the city with Carme, a lovely Spanish girl who also lived in Maren's student dormitory. We had a good chat and after that, we said goodbye to Carme because she left only one week later. It was so nice to get to know her and we already set the deal that if we came to Barcelona or she visited some cities in Germany, we would contact each other for sure.

On Friday we went to the Christmas market, ate trdelník with cinnamon, and listened to a very enthusiastic singer on the constructed stage in front of the cathedral, before walking to another little market, where I saw a booth with vinyl records. I bought one typical Czech one for my father with songs by Hana Hegerová and I'm very sure that he will like it. ;D

On Saturday we took a long walk through the forest and then visited the Plzeň Plaza - Not to buy anything, but just to stroll around and to get into the Christmas spirit, before we went to "Coffee Park" where we had the best and most beautiful Coffee in the city so far. In the evening, we made very delicious homemade wraps with hummus, vegetables, tofu and avocado (big recommendation!) and then we just played some funny games for two and ended the day with a little singing session, where we exchanged our favourite sad but also solemn songs together. I enjoyed his evening so much!!

On the next morning, Maren already got up very early to catch her train. So we just said goodbye but promised each other that we would see again soon.<3

This month I also planned a spontaneous trip to Karlovy Vary together with my sister. We met there on Friday afternoon and on our way to the flat, we were so impressed by the really nice architecture, the beautifully decorated buildings, and the countless lights that turned Karlovy Vary into a little Christmas fairytale town. Despite the wonderful scenery, there were fewer tourists than expected, which was extremely pleasant.

The next day we went to the historical museum of the city and it was really interesting to find out more about the origins and further development of Karlovy Vary. Later we hiked – and yes, it really felt like a bit of a hike – up to the Diana Tower. Of course, we could have taken the small train, but my sister and I thought we would manage it quite easily… well, when we got to the top we were actually a bit sweaty. ;D But when we got to the top of the tower the view really made up for the previous effort.

In the evening we went to a typical Czech restaurant and the waiter was very pleasantly surprised when I ordered in Czech and of course, I was also happy to be able to use my gained language skills. After dinner, we visited the cute Christmas market nearby and listened to a singer on stage who performed some Abba hits as well as beautiful Czech songs.

On Sunday, we ate breakfast at "Bagel Lounge" strolled through the city centre, went into some shops, and bought a few cute things, before going to another really nice café called "Lékárna by City Roasters" which means "Pharmacy" by City roasters, where we had really good coffee and chai latte. Then I brought my sister to the train station and it really felt a bit weird, when waving her goodbye but at the same time, I knew, that we would see each other again in less than a week. So I happily drove back to Plzeň, looking forward to seeing my family and friends again soon. <3

My highlight at work this month was definitely the Pub quiz on the 11th of December. I joined the team for TOTEM and in the beginning we were very weak and made the last place after two rounds but then it turned completely and we were able to get almost every question correctly. Even though we didn't make the first place in the end it was a very funny evening and I was impressed how well Martin organized this whole event. So you will see me at the next "Quizuj" in February for sure. ;D

I also really enjoyed the last conversations in the week before Christmas. I prepared some games that the seniors were very ambitious about playing while singing and listening to some nice Christmas songs and eating many (... like maaaaaaany) snacks. I was so happy when I saw how much fun everyone had and overwhelmed as I even received some presents from them. I am so excited to see everyone including my colleagues again next year and it definitely feels weird to leave Plzeň now for the first longer time but I'm sure that the time will fly and before I bat an eyelash, I'm back here again... ;D

The first snow at the Kamenný rybník :D

Spontaneous photo with Tatiana in the “Schována kavárna” <3

Our cute Christmas market on the Náměstí Republiky

Last photo with Carme before saying goodbye…

The best coffee a “Coffee Park” with beautiful Latte art!

The view from our apartment in Karlovy Vary

At the top of the Diana Tower with my sis <3

The wonderfully glowing buildings in Karlovy Vary

Beautiful sky above the Diana Tower

I'm looking forward now to having some holidays and then will be back with new energy at the beginning of next year.

Have a great time with your family and friends and all your loved ones and don't forget to tell them how much you love them, because this is worth so much more than any present.

Stay safe and see you again in 2024. ;D Brzy se uvidíme! Laila

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itwas50yearsagotoday · 1 year

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youtube

8/20/23: It was 50 years ago this month, August 1973, the Allman Brothers Band would release their fourth studio album Brothers and Sisters. The commercial peak, if not artistic peak, of this great American band--this is mostly but not entirely due to the only U.S. Top 40 song from the band released while in their prime (they had a couple stragglers circa 1979-80)... we're talking, of course, about 'Ramblin' Man.' That's one of those songs that I feel like most people over the age of 30 know... I mean not only was it a pop hit (#2!!), it was/is also a Classic Rock song, and it was in a bunch of 1990s commercials... so yeah, will address that one in September. The record follows not only the loss of one brother, Duane in 1971, but also bassist Berry Oakley in late '72--also in a motorcycle accident, not too far from Duane's wreck in Macon. Weird. The band soldiered on to record this very relaxing, but not-at-all lazy record. Take the 8-minute instrumental 'Jessica' (also on a lot of '90s commercials)... it's basically the studio version of an Allmans 'jam' but unlike a lot of jams of this era, nearly every note played has its purpose, never gets boring, and ends at the right time. Track one 'Wasted Words' didn't used to be a favorite of mind, but it's climbing the ranks... seems like an oddball album-opener, but that kind of sad-ish melody just before the choruses always gets me (someday I'll learn music theory, I swear!). Then there's 'Southbound', a song that is probably being played for the wrong reasons somewhere... but whatevs, great Blues-Rock tune. 'Come and Go Blues' is very average-Allman song, meaning that I like it but it's like the band's coasting with it. The other two tracks, the bluesy 'Jelly Jelly' and the country-fied 'Pony Boy' aren't quite as interesting to me, but probably are to someone cool. After this record the band would have various internal issues--much of which was of the substance-abuse variety, but also distracting tabloid fodder regarding Gregg Allman and new L.A. girlfriend Cher (of all people); there would be break-ups, reunions, each time with less original members. I haven't heard much past this record honestly, excepting the minor hit late in the decade 'Crazy Love' (entirely because it was the only post-1973 song on the Decade of Hits CD that I had in college). From their 1994 album Where It All Begins, the title track and especially the tune 'No One Left to Run With', are a near return-to-form. Since I won't get to it, I wanted to mention it... sometimes Boomers can have good shit later (not usually tho).

#Youtube

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gaylienn · 2 years

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STUFF I CONSUMED IN JULY AND AUGUST (and September)

I've been busy, working in July and August and JUST started university college, so I'm a bit late with this one. I'm stressed and anxious, but so far I'm feeling good about school, and I'm excited to learn! Anyways, I still watched a bunch of stuff

September EDIT: Guys, I've been SO busy with school, and tired and shit. It's insane. So I never got to post this, which means I'm going to add September (not that i really have had time to watch much here) I love being a lab rat tho :D Wonder if anyone even reads these anyways

TV shows

Money Heist: Korea - Joint Economic Area part 1

I never watched original Money Heist show (yet) so I went into this blind, but I enjoyed it a lot. It's a group of different kind of people lead by The Professor conducting a big money heist in the near future where North and South Korea are unifying. Obviously they've got a whole plan, involving hostages and printing all the money themselves. The group's participants all have different stories and different levels of morals, so there's a lot of clashing in how to handle the situation, and there's also all the hostages playing along. It's got tense moments, more chill moments and plot twists! Only half the season is out so far, so I'm looking very much forward to part 2

The Guest

Didn't know exactly what to expect from this, feel like it could easily become too silly for my taste, but honestly I think it was really good! It's about a psychic, a catholic exorcist and a "skeptic" joining forces to hunt down and get rid of a strong malicious spirit/demon of some kind. If you like supernatural horror, Korean myths and clashing beliefs coming together, check this show out!

Movies

The Black Phone

I haven't read the story this is based on, but my friend and I went to watch this in the cinemas, and it was pretty good! back in the 80s (i think) kids are disappearing from a neighborhood one by one, to never be seen again. Our main character, who knew a few of the disappeared kids, get taken himself by Ethan Hawke's menacing character, and afterwards is kept in a basement, where he is met with the titular Black Phone. I don't want to say too much more about this more, but definitely check it out!

Midnight

Deaf woman and her mother are being chased down by crazy axe murderer? What more is there really to say to this? I really enjoyed this movie, but gotta admit, we laughed way more than we were at the edge of our seats in this "thriller" Still, very good movie.

Along with the Gods: The Two Worlds & The Last 49 Days

I honestly didn't expect to like these movies as much as I did. They're true South Korean blockbusters, with big bombastic CGI (which at times was very silly, but it worked!) We follow three reapers from the afterworld, who has a deal with the King of the afterworld, that if they manage to reincarnate a certain amount of good people in a certain amount of time, they themselves can get reincarnated. The thing is, for regular people to get reincarnated, they have to go through 7 trials in 49 days where their sins will be tried. If they get trough these 7 trials without being sentenced to punishment, they can get reincarnated in the end. The three reapers/guardians are their defense lawyers. Both movies follow each a human being represented by the three guardians, but the movies are really about these three guardians and their relationships and their story. Check them out! There was apparently two more movies planned out, but I dont know if theyre ever becoming anything.

Blood Machines

I saw a gif set of this here on tumblr and was sold, it looked amazing. I checked it out during a jigsaw puzzle session while destressing before starting my new education. It's basically just a 50 minute music video for Carpenter Brut. Ok, so its a homage to classic 80s synth sci fi whatever, and yeah.. It got all that, Synth, sci fi and whatever. The acting and the story couldve been way better, first of all i don't really know what happened. This is necessarily a bad thing, but they also tended to fall back on some old rather bad cliches. That said, visually and auditory, this movie / mini-series was incredible! The soundtrack is by far why you check this one out, the colours and pictures aiding this. If you like synthwave and the aesthetic of 80s sci fi, definitely check this out. It's 50 minutes, and split up in a few "episodes"

The Closet

Father and daughter moves into new house after they lost their wife/mother in a car accident. The father is struggling mentally and also busy with his work. The daughter gets abducted by her closet. Now the father and a paranormal investigator teams up to bring his daughter back before it's too late. The concept of this horror/thriller film is interesting, it focuses a lot on human connection and abandonment. It's not something new, you can tell for most of it where the story is going. The movie also suffers from being a tad too short, so you never really manage to actually get to know you main characters. I've seen people online this movie has LGBT themes, and I people are wrong. I guess if you squint, you can interpret the two male leads end up having something going on by the end of the movie, but honestly, don't watch this is thats what you want. 7/10

Nope

I love Jordan Peele's work. Nope is amazing! It got spooky horror AND exceptional commentary on trauma and spectacle. Look, just believe me, watch this if you haven't already.

Video Games

Stray

You're a little cat in a postapocalyptic cyberpunk era where all humans are extinct (or are they?) and instead these abssolutely adorable robots are the main inhabitants. It's a fun little puzzle platformer, with so much heart and characters and a cute little story, that I think anyone would enjoy! I love the aesthetic of it so much!

Splatoon 3

Nintendo knows what they're doing with splatoon and its so amazing. It's just more of the good stuff from Splatoon 1 and 2, and with new lovable characters, new weapons, outfits, stages, and main campaign. Play it! Definitely wish i had friends who played too

#my recs #july recs #august recs #september recs #my stuff

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sunshinesrealfeelings · 2 years

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October 2, 2022

Its almost been a year.....again I will try to remember to post once a month. I have COVID-19 which tbh kind of crazy that i got it so late and i don't even know where from?? Anyway my life has been super boring i spent the whole summer with Jules and i did start school in august but I'm scrambling to try and find a job that will pay my two bills. Not really much to update on Dad has been weird and doesn't talk to me but i guess that normal now, alec is working across the country and i miss him and Jules is at home and although we literally talk all day everyday it never seems to be enough?! Ive stopped asking about jobs it makes me feel like I'm nagging, its not like he hasn't been doing anything i just want him to have money..... I'm greedy :( This semester has been going well so far i am worried that i will start to lose steam also if i wanted to change plans i would only be 19 percent of the way through??? what bull it could be worse I could be miserable instead of bored.

#long distance #personal

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joeygoeshollywood · 4 years

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My 25 Favorite Films of 2020

Well, this was quite the crazy year, especially for movies. While many films that were slated to be released this year were postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, this year still provided some laughs, tears, and thrills both in theaters and in the living room.

(NOTE: Due to the delayed awards season calendar and postponed Oscar bait films that are unavailable to be seen before the end of 2020, this list will eventually be updated after having seen the following films: The Father, Minari, News of the World, Nomadland, One Night in Miami, Pieces of a Woman, Promising Young Woman)

Here are my 25 favorite films of the year:

25. Kajillionaire

Quirky filmmaker Miranda July is back with her first feature in nearly a decade. Kajillionaire is a bizarre but captivating tale about a family of criminal grifters and how the daughter reevaluates her strained relationship with her parents after an outsider is welcomed into the fold. Evan Rachel Wood takes what could have easily been dismissed as a goofy caricature in Old Dolio (yes, that’s her name) and turns into a heartfelt portrayal of a woman whose lifestyle of freeloading dictated by her parents (played by Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) becomes her own crisis. In many ways, Kajillionaire feels like a fantasy that keeps people asking, “What on earth is going on?” And this time, it’s for the best.

24. Freaky

Revamping decades-old plots like the body-swapping antics from Freaky Friday can either result in a predictable failure or a surprising success. Thankfully, Freaky falls into the latter category. In this horror comedy, a deranged serial killer (played by Vince Vaughn) swaps bodies with his victim, a timid teen girl (played by Kathryn Newton). What makes the film work though are the dedicated lead performances, particularly by Vaughn, who is pretty convincing as young girl trapped in a grown man’s body. With a few good laughs and decent thrills, Freaky is worth the watch.

23. The Outpost

The Outpost is an intense film about the real-life story of small group of US troops isolated by surrounding mountains in Afghanistan, under the constant threat of the Taliban, which ultimately comes to a head in the Battle of Kamdesh. The film captures the harrowing experiences of these soldiers with heart-pounding action sequences, which are fueled by a solid cast including Scott Eastwood, Caleb Landry Jones, and Orlando Bloom.

22. Uncle Frank

Paul Bettany may be best known for playing The Vision in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but he should be celebrated as his title character in Uncle Frank, a touching dramedy set in 1973 about an NYU professor who returns home to his estranged family for his father’s funeral while his niece, played by rising star Sophia Lillis, idolizes him for teaching her to be her authentic self while he keeps his sexuality a secret. Bettany brilliantly balances the coolness of his stature with the internal agony that ultimately hits a boiling point, which is counterbalanced by Peter Macdissi’s fun performance as Frank’s happy-go-lucky lover who accompanies him back home despite his wishes.

21. Hillbilly Elegy

Hillbilly Elegy was panned by critics over politics that had absolutely no role the film. Based on the best-selling memoir by J.D. Vance, the newest feature from Ron Howard shows the journey of a boy who despite all odds growing up in a poor family that constantly struggled with abuse and addition managed to get into Yale Law School and achieve the American dream. While both Gabriel Basso and Owen Asztalos hold the film together as the younger and older Vance in the present and flashback scenes, Amy Adams as the impulsive, irresponsible mother and an unrecognizable Glenn Close as the no-nonsense inspiring grandmother that turn Hillbilly Elegy into an acting tour de force.

20. The Trial of the Chicago 7

Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin sits in the director’s chair once again in this courtroom drama about the real-life protesters who showed up in Chicago during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. With themes that resonate today, The Trial of the Chicago 7 benefits from its sharp screenplay, well-paced editing, and an outstanding ensemble cast that includes Eddie Redmayne, Mark Rylance, Yahoo Abdul-Mateen II, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Frank Langella, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Michael Keaton.

19. Yellow Rose

Broadway actress Eva Noblezada makes her film debut as an aspiring country singer on the run after her mother, an illegal immigrant, is obtained for deportation. Yellow Rose presents a nuanced depiction of US immigration, but at the heart of it is a heartbreaking story of a young woman who struggles between putting her family or her dreams first. Between Noblezada’s powerful performance and solid original music, Yellow Rose hits all the right chords.

18. Palm Springs

Move over, Groundhog Day. While the Bill Murray classic has largely monopolized the time loop film genre, Palm Springs gives it a run for its money. Andy Sandberg and Cristin Milioti star as the unlikely duo who are stranded reliving the same dreaded wedding day involving mutual acquaintances and their desperate efforts to escape the seemingly inescapable. The Hulu comedy stands on its own two feet for the good laughs, the chemistry between the two leads, and the film’s emotionally-grounded plot.

17. Let Him Go

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane reunite on the big screen after playing farmer parents in Man of Steel to rancher grandparents in Let Him Go, although this time they are able to display their full acting chops. In this period dramatic thriller, they set out to find their only grandchild following the death of their son only to discover that the widowed daughter-in-law remarried into an infamous crime family. While both Costner and Lane tug at the heartstrings, it’s Lesley Manville, who plays the ruthless matriarch of the family, that really takes command of the screen. Ultimately, Let Him Go is all about family and the lengths one is willing to go to protect it.

16. Unhinged

In a year plagued by the pandemic, Unhinged led the way to the revival of movie theaters back in August and perhaps in some ways it was meant to be the film to do so as the themes of a rage-fueled society and the lack of human connection carry weight. Russell Crowe stars, as the title suggests, as an unhinged psychopath whose road rage torments a woman and her adolescent son. Unhinged is the epitome of pure entertainment and is why we go to the movies. While it’s not quite the most sophisticated thriller of the year, it’s still one helluva ride.

15. Emma

Anya Taylor-Joy has had quite the year with both highs (The Queen’s Gambit) and lows (The New Mutants). But it began before the pandemic with the release of Emma, which she stars as the iconic Jane Austen title character, a socialite who meddles in the love life of others while refusing to acknowledge her own shortcomings in that department. Supported with a strong ensemble cast, beautiful production design, and comedic charm, Emma is not to be missed.

14. The Invisible Man

ln the era of remakes and reboots, very few are as good as Universal’s latest monster flick revival of The Invisible Man. Elisabeth Moss stars as a woman who believes she’s being haunted by her abusive ex-husband, someone she becomes convinced faked his own death and is stalking her without being able to be seen. Filmmaker Leigh Whannell, the writer behind the Saw and Insidious horror franchises, generates good thrills and high-wire tension with the help of high production value and a terrifyingly-good performance from Moss.

13. Dick Johnson is Dead

Documentarian Kirsten Johnson filmed a beautiful, intimate tribute to her father Dick Johnson, who has been suffering from Alzheimer's in the final years of his life. However, instead of dreading his death, both daughter and father embrace it by having him acting out several scenes of his over-the-top demises. Dick Johnson is Dead may focus on the subject manner of death, but this documentary actually celebrates life and the laughs that happen along the way.

12. The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Perhaps one of the littlest-known films of the year, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is not your conventional indie comedy horror flick. Writer/director Jim Cummings stars as an overly-heated police officer who attempts to get to the bottom of a string of murders in his small, snowy Utah town by what appears to be some sort of werewolf, though he remains unconvinced. Featuring one of the final performances from veteran actor Robert Forster, The Wolf of Snow Hollow uses its quirky sense of humor to stand out from the rest of the pack.

11. The Gentlemen

The Gentlemen is a fun, action-packed, crime caper from Guy Ritchie about the London turf war of drug kingpins. Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Henry Goulding, Michelle Dockery, and Colin Ferrell all round out the strong cast, but its Hugh Grant that really steals the show as the comedically manipulative Fletcher, whose only allegiance is to himself. If you like a stylish film with well-choreographed violence and a fast-paced plot, The Gentlemen should be your cup of tea.

10. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Some of the best play-to-film adaptations are the films that feel like you’re watching a play, and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is one of them. Produced by Denzel Washington, Viola Davis gives a transformative performance as Ma Rainey, known as the “mother of the blues” and the clash she had with a pair of White music producers, but she also butts heads with her trumpet player (played by the late Chadwick Boseman), who also has his own music ambitions. While Davis obviously gives other Oscar-worthy performance, it was Boseman who was able to show how incredibly gifted he was as an actor. And while the world lost him far too soon, at least his last role ended up being his greatest.

9. The Kid Detective

One of the biggest surprises of the year was how good a movie starring and produced by Adam Brody was. Brody plays a washed up former kid detective who attempts to revive his once-celebrated career of solving mysteries by getting to the bottom of a murder in his hometown. The Kid Detective is a brilliant dark comedy from newcomer writer/director Evan Morgan with good laughs, plenty of plot twists, and a career-best performance from Brody, who proves he’s more than just the pretty face from The O.C. we all know him as.

8. Mank

Citizen Kane is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and Mank is a worthy tribute. Gary Oldman stars as the title character Herman “Mank” Mankiewicz, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind the iconic film. David Fincher (The Social Network, Gone Girl) managed to capture the epic scale of the 1941 classic that would make Orson Welles proud.

7. Soul

Soul is one of those rare existential Pixar films that goes beyond being children’s entertainment. Following in the footsteps of 2015′s Inside Out, Soul depicts what happens to the soul of a jazz musician who’s convinced his time on Earth isn’t over. While the universe created to explain how souls work and the plot that went along with it falls short of its emotions predecessor, Soul is still high-caliber among Pixar films and a great movie for both kids and adults alike.

6. Another Round

Perhaps the greatest work from Swedish director Thomas Vinterberg to date, Another Round follows four unsatisfied middle aged men who decide to take a theory of task from a Norwegian psychiatrist, who concluded that maintaining a blood alcohol level of 0.050 will enhance their mental and psychological state. Mads Mikkelsen, who’s best known to American audiences as Hannibal Lecter in the short-lived NBC series Hannibal and the Bond villain in Casino Royale, offers a strong, nuanced performance as one of the four educators who embraces this drinking challenge in a film that provides an equal balance of chuckles, cringes, and emotional gut punches.

5. I’m Thinking of Ending Things

From the crazy mastermind of Charlie Kaufman, the writer behind Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Anomalisa, his latest on Netflix is too a mind-bender. I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a surreal, zany, and at times disturbing examination of the human condition as the nameless female protagonist played by an incredible Jessie Buckley mulls over breaking up with her boyfriend (played by Jesse Plemons) while visiting his parents’ house. Accompanied with a stellar production design and a crazy-good performance from Toni Collette as “Mother,” Kaufman newest cerebral feature lives up to his iconic reputation of filmmaking.

4. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is one of the few genius filmmakers who is able to blend multiple genres together and his latest film is no different. Da 5 Bloods is an action adventure, buddy comedy, dramatic character study, and war movie all wrapped up into one about a group of Vietnam War veterans who return to the former battlegrounds to find the remains of one of their fallen soldiers as well as some treasure that they kept hidden years ago. With a strong ensemble cast that includes the late Chadwick Boseman, its longtime character actor Delroy Lindo who steals the show with his powerful performance. Da 5 Bloods is easily one of Netflix’s strongest films to date.

3. The Assistant

One of the first #MeToo-era films, The Assistant offers the day in the life of a low-level female staffer of a production company who is haunted by the presence of her Harvey Weinstein-like boss (who never actually appears in the film). However, rather than depicting the dramatics of sexual misconduct, The Assistant uses the common subtleties and nuances of the workplace yet maintains the same tension and heartbreak. Anchored by the remarkable, devastating performance by up-and-comer Julia Garner (Ozark), The Assistant is as important as it is well-done.

2. Sound of Metal

Riz Ahmed gives the performance of his career as a heavy metal drummer and former addict whose sudden battle with going deaf upends his life. Sound of Metal is an incredible experience that gives a rare glimpse in the American deaf community which is enhanced by the remarkable sound design that helps the audience actually hear what the musician is going through. It’s truly one of the most rewarding films of the year.

1. The Climb

The Climb takes the generic “man sleeps with his best friend’s fiancé” storyline and turns it on its head. In his feature debut as writer and director, Michael Angelo Covino leads as the not-so-apologetic adulterer Mike and Kyle Marvin, who co-wrote the film, is the good-hearted Kyle who struggles to whether or not to forgive his best friend’s ultimately betrayal. Not only is The Climb is quirky and hilariously written, it’s a remarkably well-made comedy with some of the year’s best cinematography. Between a strong cast, a superb screenplay, and the extremely-high production value, The Climb is at the top of the mountain of 2020′s best films.

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