#also josh may not be present in the fic itself

[iwonderwh0]

rk1k post

Fic ideas that I'll never write:

Markus happen to catch a virus that completely locks his ability to move. He can still communicate through wireless messages, but that's basically it.

Unfortunately, it's not so easy to erase either, as the virus plots itself within some of the core components that have to be replaced, and in general it just takes time to figure out how exactly it is possible to erase the virus without fucking up Markus's system as well.

Markus can't really afford to be completely paralized like that. He has to keep showing up for various meetings and all this stuff. After all, he's a public figure that represents all the android voices.

One of the possibile solutions is to be within close enough distance to where the meeting is taking place and let someone else from Jericrew replace him temporarily while he's sick in this way, maybe wirelessly transmitting what he would have said and let them be his voice. The android(s) that temporarily take his place (be it North, Connor, Josh or Simon) may also share with him the stream of their vision/hearing, so he could be more present and included. But this is still rather lacking solution, and even though at first it works, Markus is getting progressively more and more depressed about his condition of complete helplessness. It's miserable, and more importantly – it's BORING. And no one really knows what to do with this virus without risking corrupting Markus's system either.

And so, Connor suggests a solution.

They're both RKs and their systems are compatible. He can temporarily transfer Markus into his body and let their system run in parallel. Connor system is kinda meant for that anyway – it has always had a place for a "second pilot", Amanda. Although Amanda was fairly passive for most of the time, still, she has been there. And now, as her place is free, Markus can take it.

The experience of this connection is...interesting. And it almost goes completely wrong the first time Markus tries to do something. Connor, although not meaning to, panics badly . Their system gets overloaded with stress, and now they're both overheating. Markus feels like shit as Connor's body starts to cry involuntarily, even though Connor himself frantically apologises and tries to convince him that it's all okay. It's just the experience of losing control of his body and having someone else to control it, stresses him the fuck out, even though it was his idea to suggest it. He didn't expect it to backfire. After all, it's Markus, and not Amanda. Still.

After some trial and error they find a way for both of them be in control without completely handing administrator rights to only one of them at a time. This way, none of them gets completely overpowered, and although this way it's a little harder to coordinate their actions, this solution works better for their shared sanity. After some awkward adjusting period to the way it works, they find a way to operate smoothly, coordinated, in some way even better than before. It's about trust, and they have enough of it to make it work.

It's a little weird to have some of their thoughts slipping into another one to hear. Not all of them, but some. It's weird to feel the physical sensation of another one of them getting some emotion. Like the moment they only appear like that, within RK800 body some android, not yet aware of it being Markus in there can say something about how Connor shouldn't even be there. And at this moment the both of them feel two sets of feelings, a burning guilt – coming from Connor, and frustrated anger – coming from Markus. It's both the pain in their shared chest and the pressure of pulsating noise in their head. They know EXACTLY how another one of them feels, because, well, they have to endure it simultaneously.

The touch one is interesting as well – it both feels as if this touch belongs to someone else, but also it's your own. (Would it be called sex or technically just a masturbation if they get the idea to make use of their time in this way as well?)

Another thing that they are surprised to be able to share now – a garden. It's empty now, and it's cold. For Connor. Somehow, it's sunny and blooming for Markus even though they are in the exact same place. Markus soon realises that he has the rights needed to change the setting, and yet Connor does not. Disturbed, Markus realises that not only that, but in general, taking Amanda's place he actually has a lot more administrator rights, some of them the ones Connor wasn't even aware of himself. He changes the weather to make it early fall, he removes the roses and plants sunflowers instead. They both have fun just turning the garden into something completely different from what it originally was. Other than pigeons, there are now canaries, koi fishes get replaced with tropical ones. It would have been impossible for them to live in a pond if it was the real world, but Zen Garden is a place that can be programmed, it doesn't have the kind of limitations of a physical one.

In Zen garden they can get a little break by being separated, each one within their own avatar, free to walk around as they please.

When Markus's body gets fixed and the virus is finally erased from his system, it's almost sad to be parted again after they spent so much time learning to exist as one, never lonely within their own presence. As Markus transfers back, he hints that there could be a place and time for him as well to offer his body to be shared sometimes. The thought about it fills him with warmth, and, from sharing Connor's body for long enough, he knows that at this moment as he says that, their feelings on the matter are mutual.

[love-fireflysong]

Hi. I would love to see #65 for Chrashley 🥺❤️

65. One Small Kiss, Pulling Away For An Instant, Then Devouring Each Other

(ao3 link)

It had been a little over a week since the events on Blackwood Mountain. A little over a week since she had watched Josh (or what she had believed to be Josh) cut in half no more than two feet away from her and had become drenched in (what she had also believed to be) his blood. A little over a week since she had scoured all the many basements of the lodge with Chris for any trace of Sam. A little over a week since she watched the same lodge burn to cinders and ash in the early morning dawn, her fingers frozen in the snow and her ears ringing painfully from the sound of the explosion.

A little over a week and she hadn’t felt safe again since. Not when she was unable to leave the horrors of that night behind.

Horrors she still relived every night in her nightmares, as the deep, dark shadows under her eyes proved. Or at least, during the times when she was even able to fall asleep in the first place. According to the doctors who had looked over Ashley, while she was fine physically (aside from the angry black eye of course), her head was another thing entirely. The head trauma she had been left with had ended up being one monster of a concussion. Leaving her nauseous and unable to fall asleep most nights, tossing and turning in the dim light of her room as her ears still continued to ring.

But despite the heavy bags under her eyes, today was already shaping up to be a good day. While she'd certainly had nightmares, she had only woken up screaming twice instead of the usual four or five. Plus, she'd been able to fall asleep after each of them fairly quickly so she'd actually managed a combined few hours of sleep for the first time all week.

All of which was only improved by the fact that she'd actually been able to eat something this morning for breakfast. Which her mother seemed relieved about if nothing else, Saundra had made nearly all of Ashley's favourites to try and entice her to eat something after all. The issue had never been in keeping the food down though, but in getting Ashley to eat any of it in the first place. It was a vicious cycle: the concussion made her too nauseous to eat more than a couple of bites, and the resulting hunger would just make her more nauseous than before, and on and on. And yet, she had eaten a fairly large amount this morning. Almost a full plate of homemade belgian waffles—topped with berries, whipped cream, and actual maple syrup—with a side of seasoned hashbrowns, and a large glass of orange juice to wash it all down. 

There had been some breakfast sausages as well—the big maple flavoured farmer's sausage even—but those had gone untouched. While they were an expensive treat that they could rarely get and she had always loved them growing up, she couldn't even look at them without almost hyperventilating now; not with her brain being flooded with images of pig carcass's strung up by chains and the fresh scent of blood filling her nose and mouth.

And yet, despite the near-panic with the pork, the rest of the morning had gone well enough that Ashley actually felt brave enough to leave the relative safety of her home for the first time since the mountain. It had taken a not insubstantial amount of time to try and convince Saundra of that fact though, almost an hour of begging and pleading and even then her mother had only barely relented. The fact that the place in question would be the Hartley residence meant very little to her, only agreeing after Ashley swore that they would turn around or leave the second it looked like she was about to start freaking out.

And yet, while she had agreed to any and all stipulations in a heartbeat, Ashley almost hadn't been able to even make out the threshold of her own front door. The second she had left the building, the sight of the thick and heavy layer of freshly fallen snow was nearly enough to make her want nothing more than turn right back around so she could bury herself under the protection of her blankets. Involuntarily, her body froze on the front step as she held her breath. The only reason she was able to move again after that was the realization that although the sky was fairly overcast, they didn't come out to hunt during the day and she was safe. Still, she tucked her head down onto her chest and all but ran to the idling car at the end of the sidewalk. Just in case. 

The second she opened the passenger-side door, the warm air buffeted against Ashley as she practically threw herself in the vehicle. The warm air was like a wall, strong and thick enough that it made her feel at least marginally safe again and she let out a sigh of relief and was brought back to her senses just in time to see the suspicious and worried frown on Saundra's face. 

"I'm fine," she tried to reassure her mother, and when the frown only deepened she doubled down. "Really Mom, I'm okay."

Clearly, Saundra didn't believe her or her shaky voice. "I just watched you freeze on that step with my own eyes. You looked like you were about to pass out until you suddenly bolted out of there. And not only were you acting like you were being chased the entire time, you were in such a hurry to get in here that you nearly landed in my lap. That's what I call the exact opposite of okay Ashley." She punctuated the statement by turning off the engine. "We're going back inside right now. I knew this was going to be too much for you."

Faster than even Ashley had thought possible, her hand had covered her mother's to prevent her from removing the key from the ignition. "Please Mom, don't make me go back inside. It was just a stupid moment of panic and it won't happen again. But I promised Chris that I would go over to see him today. I promised Mom! Just like you promised me that it was okay for me to go."

"No, I only promised it would be fine if you were truly okay, and you're very clearly not."

"Please Mom! I swear that I'm okay now and it won't happen again! Please!"

Saundra sighed. "I still don't think it's a good idea. Why can't he just come over here to see you instead?"

"Cause the doctor's said that he isn't supposed to leave his house for at least another week. He's not supposed to put any weight on his leg at all, and it's still too icy out for him to chance it even with his crutches." She was lying, but only just a little bit so she hoped that her mother wouldn't catch on. If Chris truly was housebound until further notice then he had never mentioned it to her.

Thankfully, Saundra saw only Ashley's desperation to go and see her best friend for the first time in nearly a week, and not the little white lie as she once again turned the key in the ignition and the car came back to life. "Fine. But I'm not happy with it, and I will turn the car around the next time I see you freak out like that again. And I mean it this time."

Ashley knew better than to fight her, so she only nodded gratefully in understanding. Until the act made the inside of her head feel like her brain was being tossed around her skull. Acting quickly to try and hide how nauseous the movement made her feel, she quickly threw her arms around her mother in a tight hug and repeated 'thank you' over and over again in increasing tones of relief.

Thankfully, the drive over to Chris's house was relatively short, if uneventful and quiet. In a few short minutes Saundra had parked in front of the house, and had quickly followed behind her daughter. Likely to see if Ashley would freeze yet again, but she needn't have worried. As they had gotten closer and closer with every minute on the drive over, it had been hitting Ashley that while it had been nearly a week since the horror on Blackwood Mountain, it had thus also been nearly a week since she had seen Chris. So the moment she had exited the vehicle, she had been so hyper focused on the door that would be the final barrier to seeing him again that she had managed to completely block out not only the snow, but all the long, spindly shadows cast onto it as well.

Ashley doesn't even hesitate once she reaches the Hartley residence's front steps, her finger darting towards the doorbell and pressing the button firmly. The quiet little melodiac chime she could easily hear even standing outside was so familiar that it set her even more at ease. Ease that was starting to fade the longer and longer she had to wait on the steps though. 

The longer no one came to the door though, the more aware she became of the leafless tree just outside the house. The shadow being cast from its empty branches onto the snow below looked terrifyingly similar to long, razor sharp claws that could tear through skin as though it was paper. Only becoming more heightened of the wind whistling through the same tree, a sharp shriek that had the hairs on the back of her neck rising in terror. The sharp, bitter cold around her becomes a hand in her chest, wrapping its long, spindly fingers around her heart and squeezing the air from her lungs. Her blood had turned to ice and she was finding it harder and harder to breathe as the once familiar and idyllic view of the Hartley home turned into that of a burned out husk.

The only thing that kept Ashley rooted to the front steps and stopped her from panicking and running back to the safety of the car, was the tight grip on her phone in her pocket and, more importantly, the promise she made on it. So swallowing down the terror that's filling every inch of her, she does her best to remember that the burning building in front of her isn't real and hastily aims for where she knows the doorbell is to ring it once again.

She promised him. She promised, she promised, she promised, she promised—

Ashley's broken out of her thoughts by the sound of an unsteady gait on the other side of the door and then the click of the lock disengaging so it can be opened, and she doesn't think she's ever heard a more beautiful combination of sounds in her whole entire life.

"Oh, well this is certainly a pleasant surprise! It's wonderful as always to see you Ashley."

Even though Chris's father was smiling down at her with a wide, pleased grin, all Ashley could feel was confusion at Gabriel's words. Confusion that only made her feel small and her voice reflected it easily. "Chris didn't mention that I was going to be coming over today? He really didn't say anything about it?"

Immediately, the smile drops slightly. The already heavily wrinkled skin on Gabriel's face becomes even deeper as his brow furrows, leaning heavily onto his cane so he could look over his shoulder back into the house. "No," he finally admits slowly, "he never said a word."

Feeling like her heart is being slowly ripped to pieces in her chest, the sensation is only made worse by the fact that Ashley can feel her mother staring suspicious and mistrustful daggers into the back of her head. 

"Ashley..." the warning in Saundra's voice would have normally had Ashley spinning to confront her mother in desperation (and likely sending her vision swimming until she blacked out right here on the Hartley's front steps), but instead she found her body locking up. Standing frozen stiff on the front steps as a primal sort of terror gripped her mind before she even knew it had happened, breath frozen in her lungs in her attempt to keep perfectly still and silent. 

To protect herself from a monster that would tear her from limb to limb otherwise.

"You didn't lie to me about this, did you?"

And just like that, that terror from before was over. Replaced with something much more deep set and emotional as she finally (and slowly) turned to face Saundra with wild, desperate eyes. The already white-knuckled grip on the phone in her pocket is only becoming tighter. "I didn't! I didn't lie! I-I-I don't know why Chris didn't mention it, but I swear I didn't lie!"

Upon seeing the suspicion on Saundra's face only deepen, Ashley pulled out her phone with shaking hands and voice alike. Despite the frantic movements of her shaking hands though, it is with well-practiced ease that she turns on her phone and then taps onto the messenger app so she can show her mother her text thread with Chris. "I-I can prove it! Look, I got all of texts from last night here and—"

Her words and voice stop abruptly when she stares down at the text thread between her and Chris and sees and reads what's there, or rather, what isn't there. The hours-long conversation between them that had ended with her promising to go over and see him is completely gone. Instead, all she sees as the most recent text was a short message from Chris bemoaning the terrible cell and data service in the Pines and that he could already feel the withdrawals coming on.

A text he had sent a full week ago now, just after he had gotten off the bus that had stopped at the base of Blackwood Mountain. A text that she had received only a few short hours before her once planned night of sitting all snuggled up in front of the fire with a warm mug of hot chocolate in hand had turned into a night filled with nothing but showers of blood and screaming over the sharp mechanical shrill of buzzsaws.

"I don't... I don't understand." Just to make sure, Ashley shut down the app and reopened it and the text thread alike, but there was no change. The grey text bubble almost mocking her as she once again closed and reopened the text messenger, as though expecting that continuing to do so would deliver a different outcome to no avail. "I-I swear that they were there just last night."

A heavy weight of a hand on her shoulder has Ashley visibly flinching away with a startled gasp from whoever (or whatever) it was was that touched her, but it does at least break her out of the hopeless and repetitive wishes that maybe now would be different, that the texts that she still remembered so clearly would finally appear. Instead, she slowly turns with wide, scared eyes to see Gabriel still standing just inside the threshold of the door with his hand outstretched and hanging in the air.

She thinks that the smile he gives her was supposed to come out warm and reassuring, but there's far too much worry everywhere else on his face to make it believable. "Come on, what do you say we continue this conversation inside where it's warm?"

Saundra hurridly interjects before Ashley can even think of agreeing. "Absolutely not. We clearly shouldn't have even come in the first place. The only place that Ashley should be right now is home."

"Exactly. I couldn't agree more. And seeing as our home is her home as well, she'll be completely safe here." Gabriel takes a step to the side and places even more of his weight onto his cane as he loosely gestures to the inside of his house with his hand. An invitation for Ashley—if not both of them—to come inside as clear as day.

Saundra sputters indignantly. "Gabe! My daughter's concussion has apparently worsened to the point that she's started hallucinating!"

"Oh come now Saundra, you know just as well as I do exactly how bright and imaginative Ashley is. Better even! It was more than likely just a dream and she woke up convinced that the conversation had actually happened. And if she missed Chris enough to even dream about texting him of all things, then I see no harm in letting her stay."

"You really mean it?" Ashley whispered hopefully, successfully interrupting her mother before she could make another argument against the point. "I can still come in? Even though I didn't..."

Gabriel actually looks a little startled at her words, but it quickly morphs into a warm, paternal smile that manages to stop her right in her tracks. "Of course. I meant what I said earlier, just because we didn't expect to see you today doesn't mean that the surprise wasn't a wonderful one. No matter what happens, you'll always be welcome in our home Ashley." His expression falls as he turns just enough to look crestfallen inside the house. When he speaks again, it's with his voice so sad and low that she doesn't think she was supposed to hear it in the first place. "And honestly, I think that even just the sight of you would Chris a world of good alone."

That alone proves to Ashley that coming here was the correct choice. Whether or not it was because of a dream or a hallucination or whatever, this was absolutely, one hundred percent the right thing to do today. No matter what her mother thinks, Ashley refuses to leave until she can at least see and speak to Chris.

The second that she crosses the threshold of the door and into the Hartley home entryway, she can feel herself finally relax. The house is warm, almost insufferably so as per the usual, and she can easily hear what sounds like Lilith doing the dishes in the kitchen just down the hall. The old-fashioned wallpaper that adorns the walls and the well-worn rug beneath her feet fills her with a sense of security and calm. With almost no hesitation, she's toeing off her winter boots and placing them on the nearby shoe rack and shrugs off her jacket to hang it on her peg right next to Chris's coat.

Gabriel hadn't been wrong, walking into the house felt almost like coming home again. And yet, no matter how familiar and inviting the interior, Ashley couldn't help but still feel a little on edge. Like something was going to jump out at her at any second.

Behind her, she can hear Saundra grumbling under her breath even as she hands Gabriel her own coat, clearly not happy with how events had proceeded thus far. Ashley watches Gabe hang her mother's coat onto an empty peg as well, but noticeably not the one right after her own, not the one that had been Josh's peg. She tries to ignore the action as best she can, but still can't help how her heart sinks just a little in guilt at the sight, can't help the low boil of anger and hate that's starting to boil up either.

To try and ignore that as well, Ashley shifts her attention to Gabriel's cane. Ever since Ashley had first seen both it and him when he had opened the door, something had seemed wrong and out of place for some reason. A reason that Ashley knows, and knows that she should know, but it's information that is unavailable to her right now. Just like a bunch of other knowledge and memories that she hasn't been able to access for a week now, the info itself is at the tip of her fingers but thanks to the effects of her concussion, hasn't been able to access again. 

It's like her brain was filled with a thick fog that was hard for her to navigate, and the few times she had found the spot where the information she wanted was stored, it had been all but destroyed completely. Leaving behind the basic shape of a jigsaw puzzle that she recognized and knew what the finished picture would look like, but nearly all the pieces had been scattered to the floor. And every time she tried to put the puzzle back together again, would realize that she was not only missing important, core pieces but also found that pieces from other, random puzzles had been mixed in as well.

Ashley's stare must have been more intense than she had originally thought, because Gabriel notices it almost right away and follows her gaze down to his cane with a sad smile.

"Lil and I agreed that it would be best to postpone the surgery," he explains. "Our son's well being is far more important right now than this old man's health. Pain isn't too bad anyway as long as I keep taking my steroids. I'm used to it at this point so I can live with it a while yet."

Just like that, the thick, syrupy fog in Ashley's mind cleared for but a moment and the picture that lay behind it was whole and complete once again. She couldn't believe that she had ever forgotten about Gabe's upcoming hip replacement, and that the surgery for it had originally been scheduled for just yesterday morning in fact. Chris had been so worried about it that she couldn't even count the number of times that he had called her late at night to talk about the upcoming operation.

About how relieved he was that his dad was finally getting the operation he had sorely needed, but also how Chris felt bad he wasn't going to be able to help out with the recovery back home. He was stuck in his own dorm a nearly three-hour drive away after all, meaning that his mom was going to have to take on nearly the full brunt of the workload herself. Being the sole caretaker for the next six weeks at most when she was dealing with her arthritis.

"I'm sorry," Ashley whispers ashamed. Ashamed at forgetting something as important as this. Ashamed for being a part of the reason that Gabe had had to postpone the surgery in the first place. Ashamed that he had to postpone when he had been waiting almost a year and a half for the operation. Ashamed that he would now likely have to wait at least another six months on the waiting list until a spot opened up again.

Gabriel just waves off her apology with another one of his paternal smiles as he leads Ashley and her mother down the hall and into the kitchen. "There's absolutely no reason for you to apologize Ashley, no one could have expected what happened to you all on your trip. And I was the one to bring up cancelling the surgery anyways the second that Chris came back home. It was my decision to make and I don't regret making it in the slightest."

"Who was that at the door Gabe? Oh, it better not have been that nosy Shannon Bluman from next door again! If it was I do hope you gave her what for—oh my goodness! Ashley?!"

Ashley hears the crackly voice of Chris's mother before she even see's her. And even then, all she gets is a glimpse of Lilith once she turns the corner into the kitchen proper. His mother is drying her hands on a floral patterned towel that she immediately drops in shock before she's wrapping Ashley up in a warm hug.

Just like always, Ashley is reminded of how different, yet similar hugging Chris's mother is when compared to her own. Lilith's hugs are always over quick, but it's a tight, sure squeeze with hands that are shaky from age on her back. So different when compared to the loose yet long embrace that  Saundra always gives, grip firm and steady the whole time.

And yet, while the actions may be at odds, the feelings behind the embrace itself are always the exact same. It's the same warmth and familial love that she's always felt from her own mother. So while Ashley may have been taken a little aback at the unexpectedness of the hug, she nonetheless returns it easily and gratefully.

When Lilith stepped back from the hug a short moment later, it was originally with a warm, bright smile that quickly vanished with a shocked gasp. Her blue eyes (the same exact blue eyes as her son in fact) widening in horror behind the thick lens of her glasses as she got her first good look at the condition of Ashley's face, and Ashley can't blame her. 

Not when nearly the entire left side of her face is covered in ugly yellow-brown bruises, her eye still puffy and swollen from where Josh had punched her. The only colour in her pale face was from the deep, dark bags under her eyes from countless nights of waking up screaming from nightmares about long, sharp claws and the high-pitched whir of sawblades and blood. Her eyes themselves were no longer bright and clear, but almost dull and glassy from the concussion she had received and was still fighting the effects of even now. And even as she stands in the warmly lit and spice-scented air of the kitchen, Ashley's hunched in on herself, trying to make herself as small a target as possible to whatever may be out there.

Slowly, Lilith takes Ashley's face into her trembling, wrinkled hands. "Oh sweetheart," she whispered out horrified, "what happened to you?"

You should see the other guy, Ashley's mind mockingly answers back in a voice that sounds hurtfully like Josh's, cause oh man he really got his shit wrecked. Not that she can deny it of course, Josh had gotten off way worse than she ever did, and her stabbing him in the shoulder with a pair of sewing scissors had been the least of his problems. He had ended up being tied up and locked away in the shed in the freezing cold for everyone's 'safety', and that had all been before he had gotten dragged off by the cannibalistic monster that had once been his own sister. She didn't even know if he was still alive or not, but she hoped he was dead. For his own sake if nothing else.

No matter what he had done to her (and Chris) that night, no one deserved what had happened to Hannah.

Ashley says none of this obviously. She doesn't know if Lilith or Gabriel have been told the full story of what actually happened, and she doesn't want to be the one to tell them. "Where is he?" She asks instead, her voice shaking just a little as she does. "I just... I just want to see Chris if that's alright."

Immediately, the horrified look on Lilith's face changes to something much more sympathetic. "Of course, dear. He's just downstairs in the basement watching a movie right now—" there must have been something that crossed Ashley's face at that revelation because without even a pause Lilith is adding "—but I'll go with you if you don't mind waiting just another minute or two. I could use the help in bringing down some snacks for the two of you."

Lilith doesn't even wait for her answer, already rifling through the pantry until she brings out an ever familiar tupperware of cookies and hands it to Ashley with a motherly smile before turning around and digging through the cupboard by the stove and removing a plate. "That should hopefully do for now, but I can bring down some of my hot chocolate later on if you'd like as well."

Ashley can't help but smile wistfully at that. Lilith's personal hot chocolate was to die for, even if it took nearly thirty minutes to make. "That would be wonderful, thank you."

Saundra, it seems, has other ideas. "That won't be necessary Lilith. We only plan on staying for a few minutes anyways, just long enough for Ashley to say hi to Chris and then we'll be out of your hair."

"Nonsense," Lilith scoffs as she takes the plate and cookies back from Ashley to carry downstairs herself. "The two of you will be staying for dinner of course. It's not like we're not used to setting out an extra two plates every now and again, as I'm sure you're familiar with yourself."

"Lilith, please. I really don't think—"

Lilith ignores her. "Gabe? Do be a dear and put on a fresh pot of coffee would you? Oh, and there should even be some scones left over from what the Devon's brought over just the other day in the fridge as well. So if you could just pop those into the oven to warm them up for me I would appreciate it. I'll be back once I drop off Ashley and these cookies." She gave a deep sigh. "The three of us need to have a talk of our own and compare notes I think."

With that, she marches confidently from the kitchen to the stairs that lead to the basement, Ashley following closely on her heels. Ashley knows the way herself easily of course—knows the layout of Chris's house like the back of her hand truthfully—but her last experience in a basement has left her needing the escort as she does her best to psych herself up for the quick walk down the stairs.

She knows full well that her nerves and trepidation for this are completely stupid and nonsensical, and yet she can't help but hold her breath as she tightly grips the stairwell railing with a shaking hand, feeling the smoothly worn wood gliding underneath her fingers as she takes that first shaky step down. Can't help but feel relief when she feels not cold and cracked concrete that crumbles just slightly under boots, but soft, well-worn carpet through socked feet.

The warm air of the Hartley's basement is slightly cooler than that of upstairs, but is nothing like dry, stale air beneath the lodge. And when she can't stand to hold her breath any longer, the exhale doesn't appear as a warm fog as it condenses in the air. This basement isn't quiet and still with only the ominous rumbling of the water heater as it runs, instead she can hear the voices and music from a movie that Ashley can't place right away but familiar enough that it tugs at her brain in recognition. The basement is brightly and warmly lit, not so dark that it had nearly swallowed up the beams of light from her and Chris's flashlights, illuminating nothing except rotten fixtures and all the dust that floated around in the air.

By the time that Ashley finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, while her grip on the handrail is still tight, she isn't quite as scared as she had once been.

Right away, her eyes lock onto Chris lounging on the couch—seeing him before he notices her own arrival—and her heart can't help but ache at the sight of him. He's sitting stiffly in the corner of the couch, his bad ankle now protected by a thick cast and propped up on the cushion on the coffee table in front of him. He's still wearing his pajamas, wrinkled to the point that she can't help but think he's been spending most of his time down here napping on the couch in question. Despite that though, his eyes are almost sunken in his face and the bags underneath as dark as her own. His hair is such a mess that she gets the idea that he hasn’t looked in a mirror in sometime, and the uncharacteristic stubble across his jaw only confirms it.

Ashley's never been so happy to Chris in her life.

"I brought you a couple of treats, sweetheart. Thought you might actually enjoy these ones this time." It's hard not to notice the hope in her voice as she announces it.

Chris gives a tired and almost pained groan as he finally takes his attention off the television to respond. Only to watch as his eyes widened behind his glasses in shock as he finally notices Ashley standing meekly behind his mother. Immediately, he's grabbing at the nearby crutch and jumping awkwardly to his feet. "Ash?! What are you—"

Ashley isn't aware that she had even moved until she's already on the other side of the basement hugging him like it's the last thing she's ever going to do. Her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck and she's standing as high as the tips of her toes will allow her so she can hook her head over his shoulder. She's pressed against him as close as she possibly can, holding him tightly with her eyes squeezed shut so she can pay close attention to the feeling of his heart beating frantically against her own.

The thought that maybe she had acted rashly and that this was a bad idea doesn't even get the chance to form before there's a dull clatter of the crutch falling to the floor below. The next second Chris's arms are wrapped just as firmly around her back, his fingers clutching desperately at the back of her sweater as he somehow manages to hold her even closer. His own head tucks into the hair in the space where her shoulder and neck meet, stubble scratching lightly against her skin. The frames of his glasses are digging almost uncomfortably into her skin, but she can't bring herself to care when all she can focus on is his hot, shaky breaths against her neck.

And—for the first time since she came down from that mountain a week ago—standing in Chris's arms just like this, Ashley finally feels safe again.

"Are you...are you actually here right now?"

Despite the way that Chris's voice had trembled against her throat (or maybe even because of it), Ashley can't bring herself to speak. Instead, all she can manage is a shaky nod as she squeezes her eyes shut harder and only tightens the grip of her arms around his neck. 

"Oh thank god," he mumbles back, and it sounds so close to a sob that Ashley nearly starts crying herself, "oh thank god." His own hold on her tightens as well in response, and she gets the feeling that Chris is scared that if he loosens his grip for even a moment then she's gonna vanish from right in front of him. It's a feeling that Ashley understands and agrees with wholeheartedly.

She's not sure how long the two of them continue to stand there holding each other, but she does know that it doesn't feel like long enough anyways. But, in the end, she can feel Chris starting to shake just from the exertion of trying to keep as much weight as possible off of his bad leg and Ashley herself is starting to feel sore from standing on her tiptoes for so long. 

So, with great reluctance, she slowly unwraps her arms from around his neck and steps back, but only far enough so she can slide her arms down until her palms are placed flat against his chest. Chris, in turn, lets go of her sweater so he can move his hands and grip tightly onto sides of her shoulders—more in an attempt to keep himself upright than anything else—placing nearly all of his weight on her. Ashley doesn't mind though, not when it means that she can rest her forehead against the center of his chest and just breathe him in. She feels him gently rest his own head atop of hers.

Lilith is long gone by now unsurprisingly, having placed the cookies and lone plate on the table and left without a word. Ashley hadn't even noticed she had left.

"Why didn't you text, or even call? If I had known that you were coming..."

The laugh that Ashley tried to let out sounded too much like a wet hiccup to her liking. "Would you believe me if I said that I thought I did? That I apparently had a dream or something so convincing that I still don't believe that it didn't actually happen?"

"Well, sure wish that dream me had let me know that. Would have at least changed my clothes for you then. Maybe even showered…or shaved."

 This time, the laugh that Ashley lets out sounds much more natural. "Oh wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, huh."

She feels one of Chris's hands leave her shoulder—still making sure to keep most of his weight on her though—and place that hand overtop of her own that she's got placed over his heart, cautiously curling his fingers around it. Slowly, she backs off just enough so she can lift her head and look up into his face and at all of the relief and desperate joy that's openly broadcast for her to see.

She opens her mouth, though whether to apologize or say something else she isn't sure just yet. It doesn't matter in the end though, not when something has seen fit to jam itself into the side of her waist. And whatever that something is, it's alive and moving.

Immediately, Ashley jumps away with a scream and she finds herself tripping over her own feet as she falls to the floor with a flail of limbs. Scrambling backwards to hopefully try and escape whatever it is that had touched her. It doesn't work, not when she can see something white and grey out of the corner of her eyes as something wet and cold brushes against her cheek a moment later, and it only causes her to scream louder. By the time that Chris appears in front of her to calm her down, his hands carefully cupping her face and his eyes wide as he does his best to wipe away her tears, she's openly sobbing out nonsensical apologies in between screams.

"You're fine Ash. It's okay, it was just Toby. It's just Toby. You're okay I promise you it's okay. There's nothing down here that's gonna hurt you. It's just Toby, you're safe."

"What—? T-Toby?"

"Yeah, Toby. He wanted to say hi that's all. He didn't mean to scare you. See?"

True to his word, sitting between them is the Hartley family's German Shepherd. White and grey fur dotted across his dark furred muzzle and ears down low as he whines sadly, warm brown eyes staring at her even as he hangs his head low contritely. Hesitatingly, Ashley lifts a hand and Toby doesn't hesitate to stick his face into it, feeling his cold, wet nose before he starts licking her fingers.

Upstairs, there's a loud crash quickly followed by the sound of Saundra's frantic voice. "Ashley?! Ashley?! Are you okay?! Answer me Ashley!"

Chris is the one to respond, his hands still firm albeit gentle on her face as he turns his head to yell up the stairs. "She's fine, Saundra! Toby just spooked her, that's all. She's fine!"

"I'm coming down," she calls back. "I'm coming right down and then—what do you mean to just leave her?! You both heard her screams just as clearly as I did, I'm going down to get her and then I'm taking her directly home!"

That breaks Ashley out of what little panic from earlier that still remained, though it manages to send her into a completely different one; the exact same panic that Chris is currently experiencing as well if she has to go by what's reflected on his face. She can't leave now, not when she just got here. Not when they both know that her leaving would be the absolute worst thing either of them can think of.

"I'm fine Mom, really." Ashley hopes that her mother is far enough away that she can't hear the tears still in her voice. "Toby just wanted to say hi and I wasn't expecting it. I'm fine, I promise!" Please don't make me leave, she pleads in her own head. Please, please, please don't make me leave.

What answers back at first is nothing but silence from upstairs—which Ashley assumes to be because of an argument that Saundra and Chris's own parents are having—but then there's the thump of someone coming down the stairs to them. Her heart immediately drops straight down into her stomach.

A short moment later, Saundra appears at the bottom of the steps, taking in the sight of Chris sitting awkwardly with his bum leg out to the side and holding her daughter's face carefully in his hands, thumbs still wiping away any of Ashley's tears that might still be falling. Toby with his head now in Ashley's lap, whining in pitiful apology as she weakly scratches him behind his ears. 

Ashley does her best to give her mom a smile to convince her that she's alright, but even she can tell that it's a weak, pitiful imitation of one at best. "See? I'm fine. I didn't mean to scare you Mom. I'm fine now, so please let me stay." Don't make me leave.

Saundra just continues to stare, eyes darting suspiciously between her and Chris, a frown starting to appear on her face. "...Fine," she eventually agrees, and both Ashley and Chris's shoulders sag in relief. "But this is your last chance Ashley. I mean it this time, one more strike and that's it. Anymore freak outs like that and we are gone, do you understand?"

Both Chris and Ashley are nodding their heads in agreement, more thankful than words could ever say. And Saundra must see how relieved and thankful they are, because all she does is give one last furrowed brow of contemplation before turning around and going back up the stairs.

The second that neither of them can hear her footsteps anymore, Chris turns back to her. "I'm sorry," he blurts out, "I should have warned you. I forgot that he was down here with me and I'm so fucking sorry."

Ashley doesn't say anything for a minute, just taking comfort in Toby's head in her lap as she continues to scratch at his heavily greyed muzzle. "I wasn't expecting to see him down here," she finally says, "I didn't even know that he could still take the stairs."

"He can't," Chris admits and Ashley isn't surprised. Toby is an old dog after all—a very, very old dog in fact—only a few years younger than her. “Dad got a couple of the kids from down the block to help him down, and they come back every few hours to let him out before helping him back down here again. Dad gives them a few bucks I think every time for it, but between you and me I think they're really in it for the cookies that Mom gives ‘em."

Ashley can't help but smile at that. Lilith's cookies are pretty great after all, she would know. "But why let him keep coming down here then? Wouldn't it just be easier to keep him upstairs?"

Chris just sighs. "Yeah, that's my fault. Ever since I got back home Toby's been super clingy, he doesn't like to leave my side if he can help it. But every time I was in the living room upstairs all I could feel was Mom and Dad’s eyes on me. And while I don't blame them for it, it just...it made me feel like something else was watching me too. It was making me jumpy and I was starting to freak out at every little thing, but my room just felt too small and stifling and I couldn't breathe so..."

"The basement," Ashley finishes for him. "The basement felt like the only place where you could be safe."

"I wouldn't say 'safe' exactly. I hadn't actually felt safe down here until—" his ears go red and he quickly drops his hands from her face. "I'm really sorry about what happened with Toby though. I knew he was being clingy with me and I should have expected that he would act the same way with you."

"It's fine. I understand completely, really." Ashley gently shoves Toby's head from off her lap (who whines in disappointment at the action) and stands up, walking over to where Chris's crutch had fallen to the floor. After clumsily helping Chris back to his feet, she hand it back to him without making any eye contact, her words coming out mumbled under her breath. "And I hadn't felt safe either until then."

Too embarrassed to even look at Chris anymore or see what expression he has on his face, she quickly walked over to the couch where he had been sitting earlier and sat down in the opposite corner. Looking directly at the TV and still not at Chris, Ashley finally gets a good look at exactly what he had been watching earlier. He hadn't bothered to pause the movie when she had come in so it took very little trouble for her to identify the movie in question. Especially when the scene that was playing was everyone, sans Cera of course, covered in tar from The Land Before Time.

Wordlessly, Chris joins her on the couch and once again elevates his leg onto the coffee table with a grunt. "Um, I can change the movie if you want? Or we can play a game or something? I wasn't really paying much attention to the movie anyways, I just...I just needed something, um, easy to watch, you know?"

She does, Ashley understands completely. He needed something easy to watch that didn't come packed with blood or screams. The type of films that Josh would make them watch.

The type of films that would remind him of not only Josh, but what he made Chris go through.

"Actually, can you restart the movie if you don't mind?"

Ashley hasn't even started explaining why she wants to watch a children's movie from nearly thirty years ago (not that she's even sure why honestly), but Chris doesn't even hesitate. Reaching out for the remote that rests on the arm of the couch and starting the movie over from the beginning for her.

As the movie runs through its opening story narration, Ashley finds herself making her body small again. Curling up her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She even tucks her chin into her chest so only her eyes are peeking out over her knees. 

On the other side of the couch, Chris resumes his previous position easily enough, except he’s sitting much more stiffly than before. He's also firmly keeping his eyes on the movie as the narrator talks about the ‘search for the Great Valley'. Firm enough that it's obvious even to Ashley that he's clearly forcing himself to watch the movie and not let his eyes drift over to her. 

As all of this is going on as well, Toby keeps wandering between them, whining as he stares imploringly at the empty couch cushion in the middle. It's clear that he wants up, wants to join and sit with them to offer some comfort, but he'd been too old to jump up on the couch two years ago and Chris too injured to help him up right now. And Ashley’s too worried about injuring the geriatric German Shepherd to even try. So instead, with a tired groan of old joints, Toby just curls up on the floor directly between them. Head resting on crossed paws so he can watch them both.

Chris and Ashley both sit in silence as they watch the movie play on. Watching the hatching of Littlefoot and his introduction to his mom and grandparents. It isn't until Littlefoot's mother grabs at the lone treestar that remains high up in the treetops that Ashley finally finds it in her to speak again.

"Your mom brought down some cookies," she says, gesturing towards the tupperware on the coffee table with a weak nod of the head. "She said she might even bring down some hot chocolate later too. The good stuff even."

Chris doesn't even smile. "Yeah, I'm not..." he sighs, then changes courses. "I haven't really been eating a whole lot Ash," he finally admits. "I know I should, but I don’t want to. Everything I eat I keep throwing back up later, and it all looks the same coming back up. It all looks way too similar to what came out of that old guy when he... when I saw him..."

Chris swallows roughly, squeezing his eyes shut as his breathing grows shaky for a moment. Well, that certainly explained why Lilith had only grabbed one plate and not two to bring down. "Don't worry about me though, you can have some if you'd like. I'll definitely eat something later at supper though, I just...prefer not to eat unless I absolutely have to right now."

"Yeah, I'll probably just skip out on the cookies too. It's probably for the best anyways. This is most likely what your mom's been paying those kids I think, and the last thing I want to do is deny any of them their hard earned wages."

Ashley's terrible attempt at a joking smile dropped. "And, well, I haven't been all that hungry either to be honest. I know I should eat and all, but with the way that my head is right now the sight of food just makes me feel so nauseous that I haven't been able to eat much in the first place. Was really starting to scare Mom, I think. Only reason she even agreed to let me come over today was solely because she watched me actually eat breakfast this morning. I don't think she would have let me leave home otherwise."

Chris gave a forced laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like Saundra all right. Think my own parents would be over the moon if I even tried to leave the basement right now, let alone the entire house."

Ashley laughs weakly along with him, but then the two of them fall into that awkward silence again. Watching the movie play out as Toby continues to sleep between them and letting out the occasional soft sore and grunt.

When the earth starts cracking after the earthshake, separating Littlefoot from his grandparents, Ashley starts to hear the telltale soft tap tap tap of Chris tapping his finger against the arm of the couch. She doesn't mention it, more than patient enough to let him figure out the proper words to say and work up the courage to ask whatever it is in the first place. 

It isn't until they're both watching Littlefoot's mother explain exactly how to find the Great Valley and that she'll always be with him before dying, that he finally asks.

"Hey, Ash?" She gives him a slight hum of acknowledgment to let him know that she's listening. "Why didn't you ever call? Or even text?"

"I already told you," she weakly chuckles, "the dream I had was so convincing that I honestly thought I did."

Chris shakes his head firmly. "No Ash, that's not what I meant. You didn't text me at all over the last week. Why?" His voice goes small and broken, and it makes her feel small and broken in turn. "Did I...did I do something wrong?"

Ashley wants to do nothing more than reach out to him, but she doesn't. Instead, all she does is tighten her arms around her knees. "You didn't do anything wrong, I swear. It was just...you lost your best friend, Chris. I thought that I should maybe give you some space to grieve."

For the first time since they sat on the couch to watch the movie, Chris finally turns to look at her. "What? But Josh was your best friend too—"

She interrupts him with a firm shake of her head. Firm and fierce enough that she has to grip her head in her hands as the world seems to swim around her. It feels like her brain is sloshing around inside so her laugh comes out sounding more wet and far closer to a sob than she had originally intended. "I don't think he was anymore though Chris. I don't think he thought so for a while now."

"Ash—"

"No, you don't understand Chris. The things that Josh did to us that night? Did to me? He tied me up in a shed Chris! Hung me up and forced me to watch as he made you choose who to kill. He made me try and convince you that I was worth more to you than your best friend since elementary school! Made sure that I would be covered in his blood after he was cut right in half only a couple of feet away from me, and leaving me with the constant, horrible reminder that that was almost me. That it could have easily been me. 

“And then he did it again! Knocking us both out and daring you to point that gun at me and shoot if you wanted to live. It doesn't even matter that the traps were supposed to be completely harmless and that no one was supposed to get hurt. He made me be the bait twice Chris. Twice!

"Those aren’t the kind of things you do to your best friend Chris, those are the kind of things you do to the person you hate with every fibre of your being."

On the other side of the couch, Ashley catches his absolutely distraught expression as he weakly tries to reach out for her. She ignores him, now that she's started she can't seem to stop. Finally getting out what feels like every nasty thing she'd been unable to tell anyone else.

"And to make matters even worse, he hit me so hard that I haven't even been able to read or write anymore Chris!  And I've tried—I've tried so fucking hard, I promise!—but reading just leaves me wanting to puke and trying to write is even worse. It's like I forgot how to even hold a pen or pencil,  and the words are such a jumbled mess in my head anyways that it doesn't even matter! The couple of times I managed to actually just copy a few words down, my penmanship was so bad that I couldn't even read what they were supposed to be. And the couple that I could read I had misspelled so horribly even with the guide that I almost broke down screaming. I forgot how to spell 'of' Chris! Of! It's the most simple and basic word in the whole world and I couldn't even remember how it was supposed to be spelt!

"Josh tried to take you away from me Chris, and when that didn't work he took away the only other two things that I've ever been good at or loved in revenge."

"Josh didn't...Josh didn't take me away Ash. I'm right here, I'm still right here."

"But he did! Even though he did such horrible, awful, mean things to us, you still demanded to go back and save him anyways. And I love that about you, Chris. I love that about you so, so much but you almost died Chris! You had to watch another person die right in front of you and now you can't eat or leave the basement or-or-or—"

Ashley turns to look at Chris in desperation, tears pouring down her cheeks as she chokes out "I almost watched you die trying to save Josh, and that alone makes me think that he didn't deserve it. And I hate that I think that! I hate, hate, hate it so much but you coming back alive was so much more important than anything else in the whole entire world."

Next to her, Chris is silent. Staring at her with so much heartbreak in his eyes as the movie continues to play on forgotten.

"But the worst thing? The absolute worst thing? I miss him so, so much Chris and I hate that I do. And I hate that I hate that."

"Yeah," Chris finally says, admitting to the air as he looks not at her but at the cast on his ankle. 'Yeah I hate him a little bit too. I miss my—our best friend even after all that shit he pulled and I hate myself for that. 

"Because I think that most of all, I hate myself. I hate that I hope he's dead because the alternative is so much worse. That death would be a mercy compared to living on those...those things. I hate myself for not noticing that Josh had gone so far off the deep end that he thought he had to pull that prank on us. He was my best friend—our best friend—and I didn't even notice! Some friend I was, huh?"

Ashley's ready to bring up that that wasn't his fault. That no one, not even his parents or his therapist, had noticed Josh's downward spiral until it was too late. But before she can Chris is already continuing.

"And now, I even hate myself for letting you through all of that alone this week, because I should have reached out to you too. But I was too scared thinking that the reason you hadn't spoken to me since we got back was because you had regretted everything that happened between us at the lodge after all."

Finally, Ashley does reach over all that empty space between them, cautiously placing a hand over his forearm. "No, Chris, no. I-I..." she took a breath. "I regret a lot of things from that night, but I regret how it happened, not that it did. I regret that it took me so long to tell you how I really felt, and that it happened during that awful trap. That it would have been so, so easy for you to think that I had only said all that in order to try and save my own skin, that you didn't think I was being genuine. I regretted kissing you when I did because I had only done so out of pure selfishness. All so I could know what it would have been like to kiss you even once, just in case the absolute worst came to pass and you never came back."

Slowly, cautiously, Ashley shifts from her corner of the couch to the middle (careful not to disturb or accidentally kick Toby at all as she does so), all so she could be closer to Chris. And just as cautiously, she moved her hand from his arm so she could cup his face in both hands—his stubble scratchy against her palms—angling his head so he was looking right at her. She feels his own hands rest lightly on the curve of her waist at the same time. "So I want to do a do over if that's okay."

She doesn't even bother to wait for his acceptance, she takes the fact that he had almost immediately leaned into her hands as confirmation anyways. "Chris, you're my best friend, have been for years now. There's no one else in the whole entire world that I trust as much as you. There's no one else that I wanted to spend nearly every second of every day with. I've liked you almost since the day we first met, and I kissed you because I was selfish and had wanted to for years. I really, really like you Chris Hartley. I always have."

Already close enough that their noses are nearly brushing, Ashley just decides to close the remaining distance between them. Not even giving Chris the time to respond back before she’s kissing him softly. The kiss itself is gentle, with her palms warm on his cheeks and him leaning in to kiss her back just as gently. It's everything she had ever imagined kissing Chris would be like and it's perfect.

She hates it.

She hates it because this is what their first kiss should have been. Shared shyly in his basement as a nearly thirty year-old children's movie played in the background. Kissing almost sweetly now that their true feelings had finally been revealed after all this time. This is exactly what they had deserved their first kiss to be like, but instead what they had gotten was a kiss shared in desperation. 

Terrified that he wouldn't be able to come back to her while a confession that neither had intended or wanted lay heavily between them. Both their faces covered in so many bruises that it had made the kiss almost painful. Both her wrists encircled by a thick friction burn and the small, angry burn on Chris's jaw from holding that gun resolutely to his skin still bright red and shiny. The air around them smelling of nothing but blood and fear.

Ashley knows that in time she'll forgive Josh for a great many things. That he had been sick and if he had been in his right mind then he never would have thought he'd had to pull that prank in the first place. But this? This she knows is never going to be one of them. 

After only a couple of seconds she pulls away from the kiss, her heart aching for what she had unknowingly lost. At the one last thing Josh had seen fit to take away from the both of them. And when Chris finally opens his eyes to look at her, all Ashley can see in his eyes is the exact same heartbreak that she feels now.

Neither hesitate. The second that Chris's eyes had caught hers, the two of them are kissing again with a frantic desperation. Ashley's arms are wrapped tightly around his neck once again and his around her waist, holding each other as close as they possibly can.

It isn't long until she lets out a sob into his mouth—mourning what she'll never be able to get—but neither of them stop. If anything, the kiss has only gotten more desperate than ever as Chris has got one hand buried into her hair and she's clutching fervently at him. Both are crying now; hot, bitter tears that pour down their cheeks and make the kiss wet and sloppy, but neither care.

They're both too desperate to overwrite that awful kiss that never should have happened. Desperate to make themselves a kiss that wouldn't come stained with the memories of Josh in every crevice.

The two of them continue to kiss like that until they can't anymore, until they're crying so much that kissing becomes impossible. Until all that they're left with is Ashley with her mouth against the burn on Chris's jaw so she can feel his pulse thrum loudly underneath her lips, sobbing out "it's not fair" over and over again as they continue to clutch each other close. Until she can feel his hands fumble underneath her shirt so he can feel her shaky breaths as she continues to inhale and exhale with every sob, can feel the bare skin of her waist underneath his own trembling hands as he holds her closer and closer to him.

They hold each other just like that until exhaustion sets in and they fall asleep, long after the movie had finally ended. 

---

When Ashley awakes later on, she doesn't know how long she's been asleep for. The sky outside the small basement window is dark, but that means little. It being the middle of winter means it could be anywhere from 6:00 PM to 7:00 AM for all she knows, but she thinks it's only been a couple of hours at most with how she's feeling. Her head is heavy and eyes sore from crying, but her body is sluggish as well and doesn't want to move just yet.

It's an idea she can get behind wholeheartedly right now, what with the way she had fallen asleep cuddled up to Chris's chest. He was still sleeping as well, his breathing steady as soft and warm puffs of air continued to slightly brush her hair as he held her close.

Blearily, she noticed that someone at some point had come downstairs, turning the television off and draping a heavy quilt over the two of them. She appreciated it, pulling the blanket up higher so it covered them both once again even as she knew what their position would have looked like. What with her face tucked into his shoulder and her lips on his jaw, his hands tucked firmly underneath his shirt and fingers resting heavily onto her waist.

But even despite the uncomfortable position that they had both fallen asleep in, Ashley didn't want to leave it. She hadn't felt this safe and slept so easily in what felt like ages. She would have gladly spent the rest of her life crammed onto the couch with him like this if she could.

And Ashley realized that she did, that she didn't want to be anywhere else tonight. It would take quite the fight with her mother—and she wasn't even sure if Chris's own parents would go for it either—but she refused to go back home unless he was coming with her. Either she stayed here with him for the night, or he stayed the night with her, and she knew without even asking that Chris would be fighting for it just as hard.

But that was a problem for later. Right now, with Chris's heart steadily thumping against her own, all she wanted was to fall back into that sweet, blissfully dreamless sleep from before. Placing her lips back over the burn so she could feel the slow, steady thrum of his pulse that matched in time with his heart, she curls back up into him. She feels Chris's hands tighten around her waist for just a moment, drawing her in closer to him with a low mumble into her hair. 

Almost right away, Ashley falls back asleep feeling the safest and soundest she's ever felt in her life.

[hamartia-grander]

So since I'm thinking of Simarkus again here's a bit I've never seen in a fic for them yet that I want to write because I thought of it while looking at fanart and I think it'd be cute:

Wish I could just fucking open Google docs and write all this down in there but instead I'll simply think about it. No write.

Anyways. I'm gonna talk in points and then add them together in the end so I hope it somewhat makes sense like it does in my head.

Point one: I imagine Simon as a more physically affectionate person, because he was essentially a housemaid Android and they had to be familiar with children/be able to comfort and care for children, which we know. And we get to see him and Markus hug in game (God fucking bless) and they both hug so firmly and tightly like idk I just imagine they both give good hugs. Simon also put a hand on Markus's shoulder, reached out for him, put himself physically between North and Josh when they fought, etc. I feel like he has a good perception of his physical presence and uses it affectionately with those he loves.

Point two: Simon's feelings for Markus are so evident throughout the game in how he looks at, talks to, and interacts with Markus, but Markus mostly seems pretty emotionless when it comes to any feelings of romance; unless something bad happens. Like when Simon gets shot on Stratford Tower, or if you try to save Simon but he gets shot again, or when Markus tries to figure out what to do before they jump off of the tower (leave Simon or kill him), or when Simon sacrifices himself for Markus at the first freedom march. In all of those instances, Markus showed intense fear, worry, and care for Simon that seemed to only present itself when he realised he may never see Simon again, or that Simon may die.

Conclusion: I feel like Simon would be more physically affectionate with his friends, giving them hugs, or holding their hands when either of them are scared, that kind of thing. And Markus sees him doing this a lot; so when Simon leans against his side after a long day's work, Markus doesn't think anything of it. Or when Markus looks tired and Simon hugs him tight, Markus just considers it another aspect of Simon's wonderful personality. Meanwhile Simon is falling in love with Markus, but Markus likes his hugs so he won't stop them just because he's scared of his feelings. But Markus doesn't seem to notice how Simon feels, nor does Markus acknowledge his own feelings. He keeps getting hugs from Simon - once or twice, he'll even initiate one, like he did when Simon returned safely from Stratford - and now it's evolved into them sitting so close together they seem connected at their sides, holding hands in stressful situations, hugging after an exhausting or upsetting event, and a few times they'll even cuddle on one of the old couches, Markus with his signature stoic, worried expression and Simon hiding his lovesick gaze against Markus's chest.

Everyone else sees it though. Everyone's noticed Markus and Simon's touches and interactions and they're all wondering the same thing.

Then one day, maybe something bad happens, or maybe North says something to him, or both, but the realisation that he's in love with Simon just hits Markus so suddenly and forcefully. He remembers all the times Simon touched him comfortingly, the ways he'd look at Markus as he pulled him in for a hug, how he'd run his fingers along Markus's hands and lean his head against Markus's shoulder, and Markus is astounded that it took him so long to see it.

Like I'm not just talking about the "Character A realises they're in love with Character B so suddenly it hits them like a truck" trope because I have seen a lot of that for Simarkus, and I do love it. But I'm talking about Markus and Simon being physically affectionate, Markus reciprocating Simon's affections but not thinking twice about what they could mean, meanwhile Simon is all but suffering emotionally but not willing to stop his touches and his hugs because he knows how it comforts Markus and he cares more about comforting Markus than comforting himself, because he's so self sacrificing (canon). Like I just pictured them sitting somewhere and hugging and Markus is just staring blankly, maybe frowning a bit, thinking about all the work they have left to do, and Simon is hiding his face against Markus's chest, his eyes closed tight, clutching Markus like a lifeline and struggling not to let his feelings for Markus get in the way of being there for him.

So then when Markus does realise he's in love with Simon, all their physical touches take on a new connotation for him, and he does his best to reciprocate emotionally all that Simon gives him. He kisses Simon's head when they hug, or he pulls Simon to him first, and buries his face in Simon's neck. He takes Simon's hand and traces the lines with his fingers, he places Simon's palm against his cheek, he holds Simon's gaze with more weight, more focus on just Simon. He takes in their interactions in the moment, he doesn't let his mind wander to the day's taxing events. He sees how Simon needs the same comfort he gives, and so Markus initiates physical affection when he notices Simon seems tired, or stressed, or worried. He wants to be there for Simon, as Simon has always been there for him, and even if he never gets around to confessing his love for Simon, or even if Simon doesn't reciprocate his feelings, Markus is more than content just being there for Simon and comforting him in ways he's always done for others.

But of course Simon reciprocates his love. And of course they get out the words, eventually. I just want to focus more on Markus taking a step back from being "leader of the deviants" and being inspired by Simon to dedicate more time to being there for his friends, his family, who have been there for him the whole time.

[rocohen20]

Happiest Day of Your Life- Chapter 1

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, AO3 (if you prefer there)

Before you start reading this series, I wanted to put a bit of a disclaimer ahead.

First of all, the idea for this series came to me at the summer prior to the 2017-2018 season, that's why at the base of it, it is a future fic. Due to its long writing process I took inspiration from the current season.

Second of all, as you may concluded from my first point, this series was a long time in the making. And for a few months my dead-line for the upload of the first chapter was at the end of the regular season. Meaning, that it was all before Covid-19 and the stoppage of the current season. That's why for the sake of the story let's just ignore the epidamic that is going on right now.

For your information, I am planning on updating a new chapter every two months. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the series. I worked very hard on it, and I'm quite proud of it. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~

Welcome back all the viewers from home, I'm Josh Bogorad and with me here is Brent Severyn. You are watching the SECOND OVERTIME OF GAME SIX OF THE STANLEY CUP FINALS with the traveling crew of Fox Sports Southwest. We are right here at Air Canada Center, seconds away from puck drop.

For those who are joining us right now let me just inform you that from the first second of this game the Dallas Stars and the Toronto Maple Leafs had been at each other's neck. Each team came to this game with the knowledge that tonight the Dallas Stars may potentially become the 2020 Stanley Cup Champions. This game so far had been a terrific eighty minutes of hockey, from both teams.

And now the players get positioned for the faceoff of DOUBLE OVERTIME. Each team sent their top line, and the score is two-two. Remember, if Dallas win this game they would win the series. Seguin and Matthews are at the faceoff circle aaand we're underway.

+++

Welcome back from the the T.V. break, we are at the eleven minutes mark. So far the two teams kept their consisted defensive game which we saw all throughout the game. In general Dallas had kept that consistency all season long, and just took it to the next level during the playoffs!

The referee just dropped the puck at Toronto's endzone, and Toronto won the draw easily. Matthews sent it to Hyman who sent it to Nylander. And it is one on one with only Heiskanen at the diffense. Nylander still with the puck, Trying to keep the puck tucked away. He just fired a shot, top shelf, BUT BISHOP READ THE PLAY EASILY. And the puck is now at the board and there is a little battle going on. Hintz was able to take the puck along the boards, to the center line. Reilly is after him, trying to steal the puck away. OH AND JUST NOW Reilly tripped Hintz and Hintz went flying. 

The play is blown dead and it seems like Dallas will have a powerplay. This game was fairly clean up until now, and this is the second powerplay of Dallas so far this game. The first penalty was at the first period which back then Toronto was able to kill. Let's see if they will once again succeed.

+++

Dallas first powerplay unit is on the ice. Seguin won the faceoff, sent it to Benn AND WITH THE QUICK RELEASE, SHOT THE PUCK HARD ONTO THE NET. Andersen was able to save it, and he covered it. OH BOY, I have a feeling it's going to be an interesting shift.

Once again Seguin won the draw and Benn with the puck, searching for an opening. Now Radulov with the puck skating along the boards. He passed it to Klingberg who faked a pass to Seguin, and now is alone in front of the net. He rocketed a shot, HOWEVER ANDERSEN IS ON FIRE AND MADE THE SAVE!

Andersen sent the puck all the way to the other end where Bishop went to play the puck. Meanwhile the two teams took this opportunity to have a partial change. Bishop passed the puck to Heiskanen and let's see what they are going to do at the lasting forty two seconds.

The puck is now with Pavelski who tries to find an opening. He seemed to find none, so he sent the puck along the boards to Gurianov. Gurianov sent it to Johns who is at the blue line. OH AND HE SENT A BEAUTIFUL PASS TO PAVELSKI WHO'S WIDE OPEN. Two of Toronto's players just double teamed him in mere seconds and any good chance he might had, was gone. 

There are still four seconds left for the man advantage, and it seem that also this powerplay was killed.

Holl sent the puck flying to the other end and with that end the powerplay arrived. HOWEVER DALLAS ISN'T FAST ENOUGH AND REILLY FRESH OUT OFF THE BOX IS RACING TOWARDS THE PUCK. He won the race and it's him and Marner on Bishop. Reilly still got the puck, and he's getting closer to the crease. Meanwhile the closest player of Dallas is catching up to them and he's almost at arm's reach to Marner. Reilly shot the puck, but Bishop stopped it and sent it quickly to Gurianov at the faceoff dot. Gurianov and Seguin are the players further back out of Dallas, and they are off to their own two on one against Andersen. Gurianov have a shot at the net, and Andersen saved it. BUT HE DIDN'T RECOVER FAST ENOUGH AND SEGUIN WAS ABLE TO BARRY THE PUCK TO THE END OF THE NET!!!

AND THIS IS OVER, WITH SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES LEFT TO DOUBLE OT. THE DALLAS STARS HAD WON THE STANLEY CUP!!! IT HAS BEEN TWENTY ONE YEARS SINCE THE LAST TIME, AND TWENTY YEARS SINCE THEIR LAST APPEARANCE AT THE FINALS. YET THIS TEAM WAS ABLE TO WIN AGAINST THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS IN SIX GAMES TO END THE SERIES.

☆☆☆

After double-shifting (and a little more) Tyler was too exhausted to register that this goal which he just had, had ended the game. But more importantly, that they won the game and the series. That they did it! That they went all the way and won the Cup!

It really registered two seconds afterwards, when all of his team formed a ever-growing pile of white and green players. After the initial embrace he started to get pulled to one hundred and one different directions from verious teammates, all with the same goal of thanking him and to show their effection. He of course took part at the ritual like the others.

Yet, he wasn't really present in the moment. Pretty much like the rest of the playoffs, once the game had ended and his presence wasn't necessery anymore, his brain allowed itself to be occupied with different matters, much more alarming matters. Like the fact that his grandfather had been since like two weeks prior to the start of the playoffs at the hospital. About the fact that his condition hadn't improved much since then, and it became clearer and clearer that his days were counted.

During the duration of the playoffs he would fly to Toronto and drive the fifty minute drive to the hospital when he was able to. However it was always for a day at most, so it never felt enough. The organization knew about the situation, so they were understanding and accomodating. The media found out about the situation halfway through the second round, against the Blues. He was pleasently surprised to see that the majority of the players chose to respect him and not to adress it on the ice. That was honestly the only way he was able to keep his sanity during this stressful time.

During his distracted daze he kind of resurfaced as they all stood at the side, mere seconds before Bettman would announce the Conn Smythe winner and the team as the Stanley Cup Champions. He let himself be present at that moment, enjoy it. The team knew beforehand that even if the were to win this game, he would go immidiately afterwards to see his grandpa. Just like he did following every other away game of this series. When Jamie was finally awarded the Cup, he and the rest of the team were ecstatic. Jamie took a second to calm himself, and then he hoisted the Cup and took off with it. 

Tyler didn't really let himself imagine before hand what it would be like if they won the Cup, out of some absord superstition. Yet everytime that he had thought about it, he didn't guess that after Jamie's lap he would be the second out of the team to hoist the Cup above his head. That's why he was a bit surprised when Jamie handed him the Cup. 

During his surprise he still instinctively reached for the Cup. However he searched for many of the older guys who hadn't had the chance to touch the Cup beforehand. He was able to catch Cameu's eyes. He wasn't sure what he expected to see exactly, but when Cameu's only reaction was a "Go on" motion with his hand while having a face splitting grin, he felt relaxed and happily hoisted the Cup above his head.

It may had been his second opportunity to have a victory lap with the Cup, however this time he felt like he trully diserved it. This run was so different from the run with Boston as a rookie in the legue. That was why every emotion and sensation felt so much stronger than last time. The feeling of the ice beneath his skates, the crowd screaming with so many fans who got there all the way from Dallas just to show their support, the wind which ruffled his hair, and the most intoxicating loop of his his and his teammates (who were basically family at that point) screaming and cheering. 

The only similarity was the fact that it still was hands down the lightest fifteen pounds he ever held above his hand. At least up until the point where he saw his uncle, Brandon, standing at the end of the tunnel near a police officer. In mere seconds he felt like he was holding a ton of bricks above his head. Then he was curious about how he was able to do so if all his blood left his body. It took him a few calming breaths to gather himself enough for the impanding news. The daze once again took over as he gave the Cup to the next player (he honestly couldn't tell you who it was) and skated towards his uncle. 

On his way over numerous reporters tried to stop him for an interview. He didn't care and just blantantly ignored them. Once he reached Brandon the first thing out of his mouth was "Grandpa died. Didn't he?"

He watched as his uncle's throat worked on nothing, while looking genuanly moments away from crying. It was unsetteling, so Tyler gave him free range as calling the shots. Brandon then just looked questionably at the officer. Only after getting  whatever answer he was waiting for, he reached forward and put a reassuring hand on Tyler's back and said "Let's go to some place quiet ".

Tyler understood why it was hard on Brandon this all situation, especially with his mission. But Tyler still kind of wanted to rip the band-aid off, and not delay it any further. Eventually Tyler did step off the ice, slipping away from the mayhem towards the locker room. During the quiet walk he tried to appreciate the last few ignorant seconds before hearing how his grandpa passed away.

Inside the locker room all the noise from the ice felt like a million yards away. The only noise still aavailable was heard as a gentle barely there echo. Tyler sat down in his stall, taking how his uncle took the neighboring stall of his and the officer mirrored his action and took the stall on the other side of him. As they sendwiched him in he tried to ignore the chills that ran down his spine. Their seriousness let his anxious mind come up with much more tragic situations than the most likely reality. At that moment he really wanted to rip the Band-Aid. So he tilted his body to the right, in the direction of his uncle and practically bagged him to tell him what happened. After a whole minutes where he was met with maddening silence he half-shouted "Brandon, come on I'm a big boy, you can tell me what happened. I can deal with the bad news".

And that was when his uncle lost it completly. Brandon just started to cry histerically. Brandon was never really emotional guy so it really effected Tyler to see him like that. Instinctively he reached over to hug his uncle. Generally all throughout that stressful time Tyler hadn't really reached out to his extensive family. It was out of selfish reasons and his wishes to not fuck up with the team playoff's run. However, during the hug he felt bad for not realizing how badly the whole family was coping for the past few months. 

Usually, Brandon was about an inch taller than Tyler, but currently with Tyler still dressed in full gear and skates he was taller and could feel the tears soaking up the collar of his jersey. At some point during the embrace Brandon opened his mouth and tried to tell Tyler the news. After three attempts of him never getting past the first two words, Tyler realized the simple fact-something else had happened.

With that realization a tsunami of encompassing dread washed all over his body. After a few deep breaths he turned to the officer and asked politely for what happened. Up until that moment he hadn't really paid much attention to the officer, his uncle was the main attention grabber. But now he was able to focus on the officer. The officer was a large tall man who wore a sad face and fidgeted with his wedding ring, a nervous tick Tyler recognized from various past and present teammates. Tyler looked closely to the way the officer rose to his full frame and nervously coughed two times before actually opening his mouth.

"Hello, I'm Officer Thompson and I'm sorry to inform you that earlier this evening there had been an accident. A fatal car accident I might had, which sadly left no survivors from both involved vehicles…"

Officer Thompson paused after that, obviously waiting for Tyler's reaction. However Tyler hadn't reacted in the way Officer Thompson expected. His initial reaction was to start taking deep breaths. He thought that maybe it would calm him down. Although it didn't really help in calming him down, he kept taking them. Well until he litterally felt like he was on the cusp of hyperventilation. Then and only then he turned to Brandon, who during Officer Thompson speech detached himself from Tyler's front. He studied Brandon closely and then stated more than asked "All of them died on the way to the hospital?"

Tyler was present to catch the affirmative nod to his mind blowing question, but since then he wasn't really conscious to the surrounding of his. He just spaced out and tried to grasp the idea that his mother, father and sisters, whom he all saw a few hours prior, before he had to go to the arena and them to grandpa, were all gone. At the time he was a little bummed that none of them would be present at the game, yet he tried to remind himself that they were going to watch the game with grandpa and the rest of the family. But now he just felt numb with the realization that he would never get to see them again.

He resurfaced partially when Brandon started to talk about what happened, from their perspective. By the end of the story he also learned that grandpa passed away as well. 

Hearing about grandpa's passing was the last straw and before he registered it he had started crying. At first mildly until it developed into full-body sobs. Following that, Brandon manhandled him into a bone crushing hug while whispering encouraging words directly into his ear. Yet, Tyler couldn't hear a thing past the deafening ringing in his ears. 

He stayed in Brandon's embrace even after his full-body shudders stopped. It was comforting and safe, so he stayed like that up until they heard the locker room's doors getting opened. Once he indeed heard foreign footsteps inside of the room he quickly raised his head from Brandon's shoulder, actually fast enough for him to get a head rush. It was a mild side affect in his rush to hide what he was doing. Yet, it didn't help him with understanding what Miro wanted out of him. It took him awhile, but at last he understood what was expected out of him. So he just rose to his feet, absent mindedly glad that it hadn't occurred to him to get out of the uniform. He shot a quick "Be right back" to his uncle and followed Miro through the locker-room back to the ice. 

In his clarification to the team about his action after the game he did say that he would stick around for the team picture. So he didn't blame Miro for taking him back to the chaos. Miro, the wonderfull human being that he was, sensed his lack of social ability and left him to his own thoughts. And that was how they got to the team, who pretty much arranged itself for the photo. Jamie was in the front, and called him over for an open spot right next to him. However, Tyler just ignored him and stood at the outskirt of the group. He didn't want to ruin thar day for the team. So he tried to play it cool, while putting his best effort of a smile (it was a grimace) and waited for the pictures to end. At the end he could feel himself beginning to tear up again, yet he couldn't stop himself. From the happiest day of his life it just turned to living hell.

On his way back to the tunnel Coach caught up to him and followed him back to the locker room. Tyler wasn't in the mood to speak, so he just waited for Coach Bowness to speak. That's why they remained silent up until the locker room's door. Once inside, Coach started talking. 

"I'm sorry for just now, we were lining up for the picture when some of the guys noticed your absence and insisted on calling you, despite my best efforts."

 Coach paused while Tyler mumbled something that resembled "It's fine", yet he wasn't too sure. Afterwards Coach just looked at Tyler for a long moment until he pulled him into a tight hug. Still at the embrace Tyler heard him talk.

 "Your uncle told me what happened. It's awful to hear about it, and the organization is there for you with whatever you need".

To that Tyler mumbled a silent "Thanks".

Coach seemed satisfied with his speech, because from there he went on to some logistical points. Tyler didn't really care, yet he appreciated Coach directness. They agreed that they would let the team celebrate uninterrupted tonight, and tomorrow Coach would gather them together and tell them the news.

After that it wasn't long until Coach left and Tyler was once again alone with Brandon and Officer Thompson. He headed to his stall and midway through Brandon got up and said "We'll wait for you outside, at the hallway. Shower fast and then Officer Thompson will drive us to the hospital".

It was for sure the quickest shower of his entire life, yet he didn't care. Ten minutes later he was in the hallway, dressed in street clothes with only the essential stuff on him. The rest he left for someone else to deal with.

+++

Throughout the drive Tyler stubbornly looked out the window, focusing on the ever changing landscape (during the day at least) and keeping his mind as blank as possible. He fairly succeeded once they got out of Toronto and continued through the province. Yet with every passing kilometer the realization that they were one kilometer closer to the destination started to haunt him.

Their arrival to the hospital would mark the finality of the situation- five family members dead in one day. And Tyler didn't think he would ever be ready for that. His breathing once again picked up within the 500 meters mark from the hospital. 

In the dead silence of the car he felt like the others knew what was up with him, however no one addressed his uneven breathing. Then at last, they arrived to the hospital. With his descent from the vehicle he kind of took a stumble, not a serious one. In other situation it would be nothing at all, but now he was too dizzy to righten himself in time, resulting in his fall. It wasn't a hard fall, however Brandon within seconds lifted him from the ground. He also did a once over to make sure that Tyler was fine.

Tyler was kind of occupied with being dizzy and light headed to care about whether or not he hurt himself with that fall and on whether or not he hurt himself. Apparently he right palm was bleeding a bit and Brandon tried to make a fuss out of it. However Tyler couldn't care less about a little bit of blood so he just said "It's just a cut, it will stop bleed in a minute".

It seemed to satisfy Brandon to not worry about the hand, but then he found something else to fixate on.

"Ty, are you alright? You look unwell".

And to that Tyler didn't have an answer, so he just shrugged and replied with one word "Dizzy". In response Brandon led him to a bench by the hospital's entrance. Once Tyler sat down Brandon repositioned Tyler's head between his legs and coached him through his breathing until he felt better. When he was aware of himself, Tyler just sat there for a few minutes, content to just postpone his entrance as long as he could. Brandon sat next to him, resting a reassuring hand around his shoulders.

After what felt like ages Brandon just nudged him and said "Come on, time to face the music". 

Tyler wanted to disagree, however he resignedly stood up and headed for the entrance.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X05 - Good Form

I remember loving this episode, but it will be GOOD to FORMulate an opinion on it once and for all!

...Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week!

But really, this episode has a ton going on from character work to backstories to points made about toxic masculinity. And if you want to hear more about all that, go right under that cut!

Press Release

With the deadly Dreamshade coursing through David’s body and close to death, Hook takes him on one last journey to find a sextant that could help them decipher a map that would lead them off Neverland. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Killian Jones - aka Hook - and his brother, Captain Liam, sail off under orders of the King to find a powerful indigenous plant on an uncharted land that could help heal any injury.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

The story in the past segment is incredibly simple, but as I’ve said before, simple is good. It’s the finer details of the story that come together and turn it from serviceable to truly great and fortunately, this episode has that in spades.

”If this is a poison, it won’t just end a war, it will obliterate an entire race.” I do like that throughout this story, the villainy is kept with those that truly deserve it: The King and Pan. It would’ve been easy to villainize Liam for not listening to Killian and overestimating his own abilities against Pan, but the writers understood that he just made a mistake. He wasn’t a bad person, but made a bad decision and didn’t deserve his death (I mean, he probably deserved some type of bad death because of what happened with his last crew, but that episode wasn’t written yet). Liam’s death is framed correctly as a tragedy and something that a young man would do, especially when exposed to the “magic” of Useless Machismo Island (My new name for Neverland because holy fuck, there’s so much freakin’ machismo).

I love how literally all of Killian’s men stay by his side. It’s an amazing show of Killian’s leadership abilities, as he displays qualities like charisma and passion in ways that people listen to. It also shows a lot about Liam. Liam may have screwed over the last crew he worked with, but he definitely cared for his own.

Killian’s ending speech works so well. Throughout the entire flashback, it really looked to me like ending of Killian becoming a pirate for noble reasons and “good form” was going to lack the character consistency between the Killian we see at the end of the flashback and the suave sort of jerkass we see in “The Crocodile” and “Devil’s Due.” And that was nagging me throughout the segment as I watched it (As I’ve mentioned before, my Season 3 memories are not that hot apart from some select scenes and the broad strokes of the stories and arcs). But Killian’s speech does a great job of showing his hotheadedness. It’s not just enough to fuck over the king. Killian is taking his rage over Liam’s death on the whole realm, or at least the lands ruled by that same monarchy. I’m so glad that this was included because it reasserts Killian’s character that he has going forward -- noble, hotheaded, dramatic, and a leader.

Present

”You’re not here out of any nobility. You’re here for Emma.” I like how the theme of this segment is somewhat disproving this. By that, I mean that while Killian’s motivation for helping IS ultimately Emma, we see the form that his helping takes shape and it is in fact one of nobility (I know this gets a smidgen into shipping and I usually save that for the bottom and it is mostly there, but just indulge me here because I’ve thought on this for a while). Killian’s efforts, as he believes, will not help his chances with Emma. As far as he knows, David, if kept alive, will continue to keep pushing them apart. This is evidenced by Killian’s clear surprise when David gives him the credit and subsequent toast following their return to the campsite. He helps David for her, but so that she will have a father and a better shot at her son, not so that he will have a better shot at her.

The narrative makes a good point of differentiating Pan and Killian from each other. Unlike Pan who spoke in riddles while mentioning the effects of the Dreamshade, Killian was specific. Before giving David the water, he explicitly laid out the consequences of drinking it, demonstrating actual honor.

I also like how David points out that a lot of their current situation is in fact the result of Killian’s assholery. It allows for David to be granted more nuance then “I don’t like you because you’re a pirate” since it’s honestly been a while since these events occurred. Like, I remember it, but the current story trajectory has made some of Season 2’s events somewhat distant and bringing that back up is appreciated. Without that, this segment would’ve felt way too on Killian’s side but because it’s here, David’s distrust of Killian is not as frustrating for the viewer to sit through.

I am so glad that Emma sides with Regina over whether to remove the Lost Boy’s heart or not and it is framed as an ultimate positive. It falls in line with her rage and dismisses Snow’s shitty ass platitudes. All of the frustration that’s been building in Regina has been building in Emma too and she’s not about to let a tangible means of results in getting at the very least a message out to Henry go away. And it is honestly so worth it. The mirror call is beautiful and energetic and the smiles that the scene leaves off on after the it’s completed is one of the most satisfying moments in the entire arc. When people talk about how dark magic can be used for good, this is one of the better examples of this.

All Encompassing

I know that this is probably one hell of a stretch, but I can’t help but feel like this episode as a whole is taking a sledgehammer to toxic masculinity. Men (David and Liam) not listening to other men (Killian and Pan) is what puts them in their shitty situations but clear communication (Killian being upfront about the water and Liam telling Killian his plans for the king) are resolutions. Neverland really is a land of toxic masculinity. In addition to so many men not listening to each other, we see with the Lost Boys that they have no problems getting violent with each other, using each other, and not apologizing for it afterwards, with Henry acting as a contrast for their behavior because of how he was brought up in Storybrooke.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-Opening shots in this series that start with the moon are incredible!

-”Not bad.” My thoughts exactly! Neal did a good job with those wooden swords!

-”Don’t you know the best thing about being a Lost Boy? You never apologize.” Then you guys are just flat out rude! Fucking toxic masculinity. Neverland SERIOUSLY needs to rename itself Useless Machismo Island.

-”I also know what it’s like to lose hope.” Okay look, the way this line was delivered really didn’t work for me. For one thing, it IS wasting time and Killian is usually not one to do that. For another, I didn’t like him stepping in her way. Look, you know I love CS and I’ll be having fun down below by the end of the episode, but that didn’t do it and part of this rewatch is emotional honesty. Part of me thinks that that works because Killian’s almost manufactured attempt to bond fails whereas the more natural one at the end of the episode succeeds, but I still didn’t like the moment as a whole.

-Damn, I love shots of the Jolly Roger that show off its impressive length (Innuendo somewhat intended). It really is a magnificent beast of a ship. And listen to the score in the background. The brass section beautifully plays this triumphant sea-themed melody!

-Wow! I think this is the most crewmates in terms of numbers that we’ve ever seen on The Jolly Roger! I don’t know if they just wanted a lot of navy men/pirates for this episode or because they wanted to show the dangers of being a pirate. I counted during Killian’s ending speech and there were at least 15 guys there!

-”And drunkenness leads to bad form.” This line is great because we see Killian trying so hard to be good (To an almost comedic and cartoony degree for me personally) and is especially made more effective because of our insight into Killian’s adolescence as a slave.

-Anyone notice the extra-as-fuck drop of the rum bottle into the harbor? XD

-”My little brother.” “Perhaps you mean younger brother.” Okay, I LOVE this line in canon, but the fandom has utterly RUINED it for me through its sheer OVERUSE in fanworks. I can’t read a single Brothers Jones or CS fic featuring Liam and NOT see this exchange. It’s not like there aren’t other overused quotes I see, but just that one seriously needs a rotation. *Ahem* Pardon the tangent.

-”A Hero’s journey.” I’m just picturing Killian thinking about how he and Liam started off at the bottom of the world and are now so close to heroes.

-”You’re never gonna get her. I’ll see to that.” David, Emma is a grown woman. Fuck off with the machismo!

-Okay, Killian is my favorite character at this moment purely because he is not having ANY of the machismo bullshit David keeps throwing his way. He’s playing caretaker and nurse proudly!

-I like how literally EVERYONE on that ship besides the lieutenant knew what the fuck the Pegasus was. Like literally EVERYONE! The fuck?

-Damn, when you look at the Roger from the bottom, it’s even bigger. No wonder it’s a pirate ship! It’s got such a big booty!

-There’s something so awe-inducing about a pirate (Or navy, at the time) ship soaring through the sky and I’m so glad that this comes back during “Save Henry.” The contrast of the clouds and the ship is so whimsical and childlike and wonderful because of that.

-Can you even see stars during the day, even with a sextant?

-”Tell him grandpa loves him.” You should probably specify which one, David. After all, “you can have more than one [grandfather].”

-*Watches Daddy Charming hug* I’ve read it before, but Josh Dallas is in fact, dad shaped.

-*Watches that Lost Boy hunt a pig and then remembers how that went in “Lord of the Flies”* Thank you, Snow!

-”Henry did [Nicked the kid’s cheek].” I love how the second he says that, Emma and Regina go into this “What the FUCK did Pan do to our little boy?” mode.

-”At least you got to say goodbye. Most people don’t get that much.” Damn, that line is powerful with hindsight. Even David drops his machismo because he knows something is up.

-”He was a thief and a liar.” To be fair, David, at the moment, you’re the one lying. I normally don’t subscribe to the “heroes are hypocrites” mentality, but this is a rare hiccup in that.

-*Killian steps up in the present and down in the past* Have I ever mentioned how much I love the segues on this show? Well...here’s another great one. See also: Unconscious bodies segue!

-Wow. The first daytime shots of Neverland are so breathtaking. The way the sun shines through the clouds and the jungle/mountains lurk in the distance is stunning! And the beach is just flawless! Fantastic camera work!

-Killian, I love you, but you just can’t rock the ponytail, bro. Short hair is your friend.

-You know, something I realize: Killian’s pretty freakin great at reading people! He can immediately tell that Pan isn’t full of shit in the past.

-I like how Killian puts up no rebellion at the idea of talking to Pan. Even though they’re on opposing sides, he knows Pan can kill them all with the snap of a finger and he’s not about to risk that.

-”Emma would never leave her son.” “She did once before.” FUCK. YOU. PAN.

-”Have a drink. You know it always helps you think.” Pan is just savage af in this episode. He’s pulling no punches!

-Liam, no! Don’t succumb to the machismo! Not like this!

-I’m not sure about how I feel about Emma tipping so close to the edge of strangling a Lost Boy, but this “What the FUCK did Pan do to Henry?”-induced rage is really well acted!

-Fuck yeah, Regina!!! Mirror magic used for good! *High fives*

-I would hardly call that goading, Pan!

-Operation Cobra Rescue. I liked the innocence of Operation Henry because Regina made it, but I like that Emma has her own name for it too.

-Killian really rocks that face mask. Someone make a sexy dark doctor/serial killer Killian fic, a’ight?

-”That you were stubborn, yes. I gathered that rather quickly.” I LOVE the Captain Charming banter here.

-I love Killian’s smile. So much. And his little wink.

-Mama Swan’s got some convictions when it comes to Henry!

-Damn, the ladies were ready for one hell of a fight before David and Killian showed up! Just look at those battle poses!

-That little nod Killian gives David after David tells everyone “what happened.” Awww! THE BROMANCE IS ALIVE! CAPTAIN CHARMING IS ALIVE!

-”Mates.” Emma, you are too fucking adorable.

-I love how immediately following the kiss, Emma has a plan developed to stop them from getting questioned by everyone! Smart as a whip!

-Killian! I know Neverland sucked, but a flying ship is never a bad thing!

-I love that Killian gets hyper defensive when Pan mentions Neal’s name. Like “don’t mention his name, you little shit!”

-I don’t know whether to praise this final scene for being a great fake out of Killian potentially abandoning the goodwill he built up or annoyed because once again, this ending means nothing. It’s literally just exposition. That said, I like the expedience, so I’m willing to forgive it.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - We finally get a message out to Henry!

Henry Not Believing in His Family - This storyline frankly sucked and I am so glad it’s over. Henry’s belief in his family and the question of whether or not it would hold (Besides having an obvious answer) was in no way engaging. The circumstances that brought on any possibilities of him not believing in his family were contrived and hardly related to his character. Additionally, the writing for it as a whole was inconsistent. One scene has Henry towing the line of losing faith in his family and the next has his steadfast. One scene has him fighting or dancing and having a good time and the next has him apologizing and being a pacifist. This isn’t character complexity. It’s weak character writing. I know I didn’t bring up this segment before, tough that’s only because it’s so freakin’ short and yet it’s given this huge amount of emphasis. Watching it again, I can’t fathom why the time wasn’t spent focused on Henry and Wendy meeting and becoming friends with Pan pulling the strings on both sides, like we get soon afterwards. That would’ve been much more focused and served as an effective story that played into Henry wanting to be a hero and showed more of Pan being an evil bastard. Hell, there could even be a connection made between Neal and Henry because of Neal’s friendship with Wendy. It actually baffles me. Did they just not have Wendy available for the first six or seven episodes? Did they not want to pay the actress?

Killian’s Redemption - Killian takes his first big step forward into redemption here. He risks his life to help a man who dislikes him. It feels like a very good build up that’s been happening with him since the Season 2 finale. Also, ”You’re good at surviving.” I like how Killian takes this concept that Pan presents to him and thoroughly flips it throughout the rest of the series.

Regina’s Redemption - This is a relatively smaller instance, but it means so much. At the end of the call with Henry, Regina says “We love you.” Call it a hunch, but just a season back and she would’ve said “I” and not “We.” And Emma actually returns that, calling Henry “our” son in their next scene. That’s a far cry from the “my son” arguments of Seasons 1 and 2 and it fits perfectly.

Favorite Dynamic

David and Killian. David and Killian’s bonding feels very natural to me and as that’s the heart of the episode, it was one of the two most important things that they get right. And thankfully, they did! Killian is put into a position where he’s in the right, but it is made clear why the respect that comes with that needs to be earned. Killian and David works together to do what they each think is their own greater good in their own way creates this really engaging friction that is fun to watch. Their banter has a good rhythm to it and can be funny at times, particularly when they’re talking about their brothers.

Writer

Christine Boylan and Daniel Thomsen take their first whacks at Season 3, and it’s really good! Like many of the best OUAT episodes, the past and present segments act as a bit of a mirror in regards to the broad strokes of the story. It’s not super subtle or anything, but what it is is concise. Additionally, the dialogue was great, with only Snow having lines that are intentionally trite. Everything else feels natural for the individual characters.

Rating

Golden Apple. What a wonderful episode! It really is. Just like “Nasty Habits,” the story and character work is incredibly tight. The nuance of who Killian is and was gets delved into and challenged, doing a great job of fleshing the character out. Additionally, for an episode that did little to further the story of saving Henry in the grand scheme of things, it did an incredible job in not making that feel like that was the situation with its character progression and a good ending to an arc that didn’t deserve such dignity.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - While not off to the strongest start IMHO, this episode’s CS goodness grows fast! First, while David attempts to ward off Killian from his attempts at courtship, Killian remarks that she’s a grown woman who can take care of herself. Second, even though it was a lie to keep the truth about David’s condition at bay, Killian is very genuine about his concerns over Henry’s mental state. Third, Killian IMMEDIATELY responds to Pan’s offer to let he and Emma escape the island by pointing out that Emma would never leave Henry. Fourth, Emma actually stays behind to chat up Killian after the rest of the group has gone their separate ways and I was grinning like an utter buffoon here! Fifth, Emma makes the mood playful with the “mates” line. Sixth, THE KISS! Killian looks blown away by it, the frozen state of his hand showing how unexpected it was! But when he catches up, BOY does he catch up! And Emma’s so passionate with it too! Not only does she initiate it, but just like her father with her mother, her lips are like a heat-seeking missile of love! It’s incredible!!! And that kiss LASTS for a good few seconds! It gets a wonderful score to it! They almost look like they’ll continue it! Even when it ends, they’re both fuckstruck by it. The feelings consume them!

Snowing - If you’ve ever needed to be convinced of Snow and David’s love (And you very likely haven’t), look no further than the way David kisses and talks to his wife in this episode. Knowing that he’s gonna die, he leaves as much on the table with her as possible, kissing her forehead as well as lips AND telling her he loves her. And when he recovers, David’s lips are like fucking heat-seeking missiles, going right for his wife’s lips and putting EVERYTHING into that kiss. AND the one afterwards! It’s romantic and sexy as hell!

-----

Thank you for reading this and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales! Just one more day before NJ OUAT CON! Woo-hoo!!! I’m going to try to get the last review for the week (“Ariel”) out tomorrow (Or queue it up for Friday), but if not, you’ll get FOUR reviews next week!

Damn, I’m seeing Gil (Prince Eric) soon. I can’t wait to be...part of his world.

Season 3 Total (39/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60) Kalinda Vazquez (10/40) Andrew Chambliss (10/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (10/40) Robert Hull (10/40) Christine Boylan (10/20) Daniel Thomsen (10/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[dylawa]

Having Lived and Loved: The Playlist (Part 1)

Over on my Twitter, I had a poll asking my lovely readers if they wanted to see a playlist with music that relates to HLAL, my All Might/ Reader | Self Insert series, and the response was overwhelmingly positive! The purpose of this post is to put all the important songs in one place, as well as add descriptions for where they fit in, and my reasoning as such. I’ll put it all under a Read More of course, but whether Tumblr will work with that or not, we’ll have to see once the post actually goes up. I wish there was a way to do this directly on Youtube or Spotify or whatever website (I’m using Youtube), but alas, this will have to do. Maybe I’ll actually make a video describing this in audio someday.

I’ve labeled this “Part 1″ since I can only share five videos per post, so expect more to come! I will also mention, there will be more songs in the playlist than there are directly mentioned in this series of posts. That is because the playlist will include all songs related to the chapters’ titles, not just the ones that have significance character/story-line wise. Links to all parts and the full playlist are at the bottom of the post!

Let’s start!

Our first song is “Light Through the Fog,” by Brock Hewitt.

This is the piece Comet performs at All Might’s request at the charity ball where they first met. There’s no specific reason I chose this piece, it just happened to be something I had recently heard for the first time at the time of writing “Thank You For The Music” (which, fun fact! Was the first title for “if i could be half of what you think of me” before I decided it would be a multi-chapter fic, and then a series). I know an orchestra kicks in halfway through, but that doesn’t mean a well-seasoned pianist couldn’t cover the missing instruments to an acceptable degree themself!

The next piece I would like to bring attention to would be “Oh Miss Believer,” by Twenty One Pilots.

This is the title of the second chapter of the first fic in the series (and note that I know “if i could be half of what you think of me” is not technically the “first” in the series, but it is chronologically so, so I refer to it as the “first”). The lyrics, I believe, speak for themselves:

Oh, Ms. Believer, my pretty sleeper Your twisted mind is like snow on the road Your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder Inside your head than the winter of dead I will tell you I love you But the muffs on your ears will cater your fears My nose and feet are running as we start To travel through snow Together we go Together we go

This piece speaks to Comet’s current fears and insecurities at this point in time, as well as All Might beginning to see through the cracks of her facade to the scared individual beneath. She isn’t yet ready to fully listen to his words, hence “the muffs on her ears will cater her fears”. Not to mention, more obviously, she “misbelieves” in herself.

Next on the list of important pieces is “Cage,” by Ed Carlsen.

Courage don’t fail me For now I’m learning Colors don’t leave me now

It’s at this point that Comet finally confronts All Might about his words on the radio, saying he believes Comet to be a worthy heroine. As she had never had such faith put in her before, she can’t help but doubt herself! However, she has to be courageous enough to question All Might, of all people, and begin to understand what he may see in her that she does not see in herself. The composition of the piece itself, outside of the lyrics are one that begin with doubt and dread, and slowly crescendo into something tentatively hopeful.

The next chapter would be “You Say Run,” from the My Hero Academia soundtrack, but I think the title and the content of the chapter in question speak well enough for themselves! So the next song in question is...

“Closer To The Heart,” by Rush.

“Dylawa! What are you doing putting 80′s prog-rock in a playlist for what’s essentially a slow burn romance fanfiction series?” The short answer is this-- I love Rush.

The longer answer, again, lies in the lyrics:

And the men who hold high places Must be the ones who start To mold a new reality Closer to the heart Closer to the heart

Chameleon, Radar’s boyfriend (and one half of the first on-screen LGBT couple in this series besides the lesbian neighbors that were mentioned at the end of Chapter 2), presses this ideology onto All Might during their dinner outing:

“... imagine having that on your resume. ‘Personally trained by All Might.’ Even Endeavor would have to consider her application. It’d be doing her a huge favor, in more ways than one. That is, given you have the time and resources to train her properly.”

All Might plays a big part in helping Comet grow into the current confident heroine present in the series at the end of “wondering when i’m coming back,” and really is, essentially, helping her “mold a new reality” for herself!

Let’s move on.

Ah, another lyric-less piece: “Call of Destiny,” by Josh Kramer. I’m sure by now you’ve noticed a lot of these song choices speak for themselves based on the chapter they’re a part of, either in title or in lyrics.

This is the title for Chapter 13, where Ironwill has just made his first appearance, and despite Comet still having a long way to go in becoming a heroine she herself can be proud of, she still answers the “call of destiny,” rushing to the scene of the crime to help in any way she can.

I’m going to go a little bit Animation major/English minor nerd moment here; in most stories, there is a cycle to follow, where there is an introduction to the “Ordinary World,” and then there is a “Call to Action” that kicks off the story’s plot that then leads to the adventure, and all the trials and tribulations that come with it. This is most easily recognizable in works like “The Hobbit,” where there is a protagonist in a familiar home environment, who is then summoned into the unknown on a great journey they may not be entirely willing to embark on. Honestly, I can’t tell where the “Call to Action” lies in “if i could be half of what you think of me”, as it could really be split between Chapter 3 and All Might’s speech, Comet’s fight with Rockshot in Chapter 4, or even being invited to train with All Might at the end of Chapter 11. However, while there’s no definitive answer there, then at the latest, Comet’s Call to Action begins here.

Well, I’ve reached the video limit for this first part! Next part, we’ll finish up the first fic and touch on a few songs for WWICB!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Full Playlist]

[sixseasonsofodestawithatardis]

Odesta One shot- A christmas surprise

A/N: Finally I stopped procrastinating and made a christmas based Odesta fic for fun and even better posted it on the day- So this is not canon compliant as Finnick is alive as he should be and well Annie and their Son decide to make a surprise for him, heads up theirs also a reference to book which I’ve added into two other oneshots I’ve written called ‘Showing I care’ and ‘Showing I care Annie’s POV’ so you may want to read them first... Just type those titles into the bottom of my blog to find them or PM me for the link! Merry Christmas Guys! 

A Christmas Surprise 

“Okay kiddo, we have a couple of hours to decorate the house and surprise Daddy! Are you ready?” I said excitedly to the seven year old who was beaming up at me exposing the dimples he shared with his father.

Our usual tradition was that me, Finnick and Joshua would decorate the whole house together in time for Christmas with the stockings on top of the fireplace and the tree in a corner of the room its bristles poking in every which way, and most of the seashells being put on the bottom part of the tree as that was really the only place the little one could reach without the help of me or Finnick,  next to the big window that gave you a view of the Victors village.

You could see two grey houses opposite and the beginning of a third (which used to be Mags’s) and towards the end of December when it got bitterly cold and the fireplace was used twenty four seven snow would fall and the grey would somehow feel a bit more cheerful than what it usually is.

However this years tradition has been changed a little due to a visit to our local baker a few weeks back…

Me, Finnick and Josh were spending the day together and went into the market where I used to run the stall for my mum and dad and back when my necklace and bracelets were sold…Before the rebellion and before Christmas was more cheerfully celebrated and affordable for everyone.

Anyway a few weeks before Christmas we always went as a family to the local bakery to get some cookies; which Josh was addicted too and made both me and his dad swear to never tell the baker that his uncle Peeta would bake them better, and to see if they had anything else that caught our eye as they usually had a little window display showcasing little gingerbread men; and the typical hot cross buns with their white icing perfectly creating a small cross shape on the bread which was tinted green due to the seaweed in the mixture (it was the same for the bread however the buns were more sweet than the bread)

When we were in there we weren't disappointed the display looked amazing, the gingerbread men were placed outside a gingerbread house with icing outlining the windows which were made from some sort of blue sugar syrup, doors made from chocolate, as well as the tiling of the roof which was made from the same gingerbread mixture as the house.

The men were also looked delicious with one being iced with a red glossy dress with circular candy cane mints at the bottom, matched with equally glossy yellow hair which was curled at the bottom, whilst the second one had a cardigan for little gumdrops acting as the buttons and the eyes as well as blue trousers. The thing that made it even more spectacular this year was that the green hot cross buns acted as little bushes near the house with little flowers being in the middle of the iced cross section.

The store itself was busy and was decorated with all sorts of Christmassy things such as mistletoe dotted around the store and the smell of cinnamon and sugar ambled its way into the air and the shelves were stacked with all sorts of biscuits from shortbreads to snickerdoodles and mince pies (which I detest because of how sour they are but my little brother used to love them) as well as the chocolate cookies with a decorative star on them which josh had asked for so whilst I got in the queue Josh and Finn went to go look at display which wasn’t unusual as they both had a sweet tooth and were always amazed as to what the baker could create plus it did look pretty effortless this year…

When we were home and sitting comfortably in the living room with the fire crackling away. i gave Josh his cookie as he started to jump up and down after waiting rather impatiently for his sweet treat and his father who was sitting next to me on the plus sofa with his arm over my shoulder, a piece of cake which smelt strongly of lemon and felt soft enough that it would crumble in your hand even though the top was covered in a sticky layer of sauce or syrup or maybe icing (to which I would never be able to tell the difference)

To which he was a bit surprised as he wasn’t expecting anything but it made him chuckle making his sea green eyes shine and go a darker shade of green like the dark green of grass after its rained,

“I thought you weren't getting me anything from the bakery as in your words I had enough cake to eat for a lifetime!” He said beginning to eat his way through the slice the golden crumbs going all over his jumper!

“Well it is Christmas plus I thought I’d surprise you” I said cheerfully placing my head in the crook of his neck all I could smell was the salt of ocean and the lemon from his slice of cake…

It was when I was tucking our little one in to bed that night when the moon was just beginning to cast a slither of light into his room making his soft curls seem more white than blonde however it was making the brown roots stand out a tiny bit and making him seem a little less tan from all the time he played tag with his friends on the beach or in the playground.

“Mum I got a question.” He said looking at me wide eyed the sea green that both me and Finnick shared twinkling in the moonlight making me smile

“Yes lovely what is it?” I said starting to pull the soft covers of his duvets up to his shoulders,

“Well I was wondering if this year we could have another tradition…One where we surprise Dad.” He said his voice picking up speed like wind in a storm which was going to tear a hole through a sail,

“Well what would you like to do?”

I said hoping that it would be something doable unlike that time he wanted to keep a crab as a pet.

“Well Daddy really loved the display at the bakery today and I thought we maybe you and I could bake a gingerbread together because I'm 99 percent sure because we both made it he’d like it more than the baker’s gingerbread house and he really likes sweets he’ll eat it plus then I have to traditions one where I surprise you and one where i surprise Dad!” And then he leaned in closer to my face and whispered “But it's gotta be super secret like you cannot tell Dad we gotta surprise him like me and him do for you on Christmas to” he then proceeded to make a shushing noise with a finger to his lips looking me dead in the eyes that I was fighting back the urge to laugh in his face.

“I love that idea however I might not be able to find a recipe for that so you might have to live with cake but let's do it!” I said joining in the whispered tone whilst being excited at the same time as usually at Christmas these two surprise me with an extra present or a handmade item it felt nice to have the tables turn for once.

So I kissed him softly on the forehead and said goodnight and then went to bed next to my husband; and smoothly lied that Josh wanted an extra story before bed when he asked what took so long.

It took me a few days of planning as: A) I had to phone Peeta to give me a basic Gingerbread recipe which I didn't think he would give to me incase it was a secret but he didn’t have a qualm about me adding it to my collection

B) I had to figure out the best time as Finnick’s work hours had changed due to the holiday so I had to figure out when he was out of the house.

So we decided to do it a couple of days before Christmas whilst he was at work before he left I did start to cook the batter so all me and josh had to do was decorate so everything was finished in time. The smell of the gingerbread which was baking in the oven filled the house with the smell of cinnamon and the obvious smell of ginger spice, I was just in the kitchen keeping an eye making sure that in the final moments of baking it would remain golden brown and not be burned to a crisp; whilst Josh was sitting in the living room finishing a book I had got for my seventeenth birthday (the one with the purple haired Mermaid on the cover)

Finnick finished getting ready to go to work (which was basically fishing) when he came into the kitchen to see what I was cooking-  he was wearing a plain shirt with a slightly loose pair of trousers.

“That smells lovely Anne what are you making?” He asked planting a delicate kiss to my cheek

“A surprise.” I said cheerfully double checking the gingerbread was done and hopefully hiding it from view.

He chuckled (which is a sound I’d never get tired of hearing from) “Alright then I’m off to work now I should be back by four at the latest.” he hugged me from behind for a moment his skin felt soft.

I was watching him from the corner of my eye to make sure he wouldn’t try to look at anything in the kitchen again, he went to our son and tassled his hair and gave him a hug before going to the door and closing it softly behind him shouting an “See you later… Love you!” to us before it shut…

Once that was done I quickly went over to Josh to ask if he was ready and got the bread out of the oven and got the decorations prepared around the table so we could get on with it…

We just had the final piece of icing to one of the sugar cubes which was being used as a window and we were done me and josh looked at our creation proudly the house had white as a daisy icing outlining the windows and the door as well as a couple of bricks to make the house look a bit more like a cottage in a fairytale (which was Josh’s idea and it paid off) the windows were split into four with some haphazardly shaped lines and the sugarcubes acting as the four separate pieces of glass - Josh assured me he would make sure I would get a piece without a sugar cube as I didn’t like them as much as his Dad because they make my mouth salivate to the point where I struggle to talk.

On the roof we also added lots of sweets from broken up biscuits to jellybeans of assorted colours, we also used icing around the doors and windows to attach candy cane pieces to the borders we had created making the house seem even more colourful, especially in addition to the odd splotches of icing on the house which was caused by an icing fight caused by Josh in which icing ended up in my hair and on his nose but it made us laugh in the end.

We also had three gingerbread men (and one woman Josh had corrected me on that) standing outside one looked like his dad with blonde hair and green eyes with a plaid shirt made out of licorice and a pair of blue trousers and my one had the brown hair but unlike the one in the bakery where it stopped and curled at the shoulders, mine went over them ever so slightly- Josh had iced a jumper with a christmas type of pattern with what looked like a snowflake in middle but I couldn’t tell as I made the icing a little too runny at that point matched with a blue skirt (I would have preferred jeans but this wasn’t my design this was Josh’s).

I decided to decorate Josh’s gingerbread replica with blonde hair and green dots of icing for eyes with a green filled shirt and a pair of blue trousers and a big wide smile made with the last bit of red icing left.

We had half an hour till Finn returned home so we quickly cleaned up and put the gingerbread house on the windowsill to make it similar to the display at the bakery and silently smiled at our creation till he returned…

As soon as the door opened Josh ran to Finn with a big smile on his face and shouted “Daddy!” at the top of his lungs and Finnick picked him up and hugged him I soon went over to join them both, in which me and Josh were both kissed on the forehead.

“What did you guys do today?” He asked as the door closed softly

“Not much… But something did come for you today!” I said winking at josh who had jumped down and started to drag his father to the windowsill with me following suit

“Ta-dah! Look what we and Mummy made for you.” he said waving his arms in direction towards the baked good.

He went over to it to look at it closely and once he realised what it was he smiled and said “No way… This is way better than the one at the bakery like the windows are amazing and I like the way you done our eyes!” he said starting to jump up and down.

“I’m glad you like it Dad however it seems a bit odd with three people instead of four.” Josh said looking to both me and Finnick in which we gave each over a nod of understanding in which Finnick said “We’ll see but can we eat that gingerbread house!” He said starting to pick up his gingerbread replica and handing me a piece of his leg.

And Well the gingerbread was hard but had a soft kick to it… it really was delicious.