#also neil showing up just to be really fucking annoying is SO funny to me welcome back you little bitch

[darcyolsson]

finished the sunshine court..... kind of deranged and it wouldn't be aftg if it wasn't. absolutely had a great time even though jean spent most of his pov so miserable im pretty sure he invented at least 5 new dsm diagnoses. also im obsessed with cat and laila doing what renison couldnt back in 2016 a part of me is healed now. 10s across the board thank you nora

[autistic-crunchwrap]

I watched all of The Bear Season 3 and I have so many thoughts... SPOILERS BELOW

TL;WR: It was not all bad... There were high points and low points for sure, and I did enjoy the high points! but the stress and chaos this season brought was not worth the few and far between moments of goodness we saw.

First, the good:

Liza Colón-Zayas. Oh my god. A true standout, as always. If her episode doesn’t win her an Emmy, I will be fucking furious. Ayo also deserves an Emmy for directing that episode. Every second of the episode was beautiful and moving and added significantly to the overall plot and character development of the show (as every episode of a 10-episode season show should… but more on that later)

Abby Elliot, I love you. I am a Nat Berzatto stan through and through. Ice Chips was my favorite episode of the season. AE’s chemistry with Jamie Lee Curtis is unmatched. I was so genuinely touched by this episode. This episode was family therapy for me, I think. Thank you Abby Elliot, very cool.

Richie gets some great family time with his daughter and Tiff this season, and it’s genuinely so good to see him continue to grow and support his family even when it’s really hard for him. I see how hard he’s trying and I love him for it.

Ted Fak gave some really great energy that really worked this season. Him and Neil were consistently funny and entertaining to watch. I enjoyed their bit about haunting that came up several times throughout the season

JOHN FUCKING CENA being a Fak was an INSANE choice but I loved it. This show has gone off the rails and goddamn it I need more John Cena immediately

Joel McHale is back and as bitchy as ever! I love the havoc he wreaks on Carmy. His line from episode 10, “I don’t think about you” (paraphrasing, I’m not going back to watch it for the exact quote) made me gasp watching it. If Carmy wasn't such a prick, I would feel bad, but Season 3 Carmy deserves the shit Chef David deals him.

Olivia Coleman. That is all.

"You can go fuck" is my favorite Bear quote, especially when Nat says it

Always happy to see Will Poulter as Luca. His lil mullet is adorable and I love him. I hope he and Syd connect even more in Season 4

Pete asking Syd if different foods make different levels of noise was the funniest bit the whole season. Protect Pete at all costs.

Now for the bad…

Where’s the fucking character development??? Carmy and Syd in particular felt very stuck this season. The whole season is very stuck in the past and pays a lot of lip service to 'working through your shit'... but no one ever works through their shit this season (save for Richie, sort of) and it annoyed the hell out of me.

The whole first episode felt like a waste of time. Almost no narrative development, 20+ minutes of montage and fancy shots of cooking? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the food porn in The Bear. I live for that shit. But the narrative went NO WHERE in Episode 1 because of how much fancy cooking footage was there instead. Gurl, get on with it. I’m bored.

There are several secrets being kept this season. Syd being offered another (possibly better) position and never talking to Carmy about it, Cicero not telling Carmy that he's now broke and can't help pay for the restaurant anymore, and the details of the restaurant review being kept a secret from the audience (and the characters) for most of the season. And like, we just never really get any payoff from it?? We barely see the restaurant review at the end, Syd doesn't tell Carmy about the other job, and Cicero doesn't tell Carmy about being broke. We ended the season where we started. Re: a waste of time!

Another waste of time was the slight of hand/magic trick theme thing they tried to do but didn't fully develop. I was confused as to what the point of all that was, but it was never fully resolved. Don't give me that 'to be continued' shit because you didn't tie up your loose ends this season. I know bad writing when I see it.

Cicero was especially difficult to watch this season. More antagonistic than usual (which, fair, The Bear is a very expensive shitshow) but it makes a big deal about saying he wishes he would've shown up for the Berzatto kids more, but for what purpose? He says this twice, only for it to be revealed to the audience that he's basically lying to Carmy about having money. Bad writing makes this character more scummy than I think he needs to be.

The Claire subplot went absolutely nowhere this season. I think the only time we actually see Claire in present day (and not just in Carmy's blue-tinted 'Supercut' by Lorde memories of her...) is when Neil and Ted Fak are fucking with her at work about Carmy. She was a major trigger point for Carmy this season, but he never does anything to make amends to her, which I found strange considering there's a WHOLE EPISODE about Carmy "considering apologizing." Shut the fuck up. Apologize to her or don't, but she is not haunting you, Carmen. Goddamn.

Speaking of Carmy never apologizing, this season is SO full of callbacks to previous seasons and makes such specific references that the audience is expected to remember, but there are giant plot holes and references that are all but forgotten. The "I'm sorry" sign that Carmy taught Syd to do on the line when they're upset at each other is never brought up once this season, which feels lazy. Carmy did that sign when he was being an asshole last season, and it felt like that was missing. Also, some of the motifs this season just didn't make sense to me.

Finally, Carmen Berzattto is a grade-A asshole the whole season. Like, just a massive prick with no character development, no arc, no interest in healing or working through his shit or connecting with other human beings in really anyway, and honestly? He was antagonistic and demanding and harsh in a way we've never see him before, and I don't think it was for the better. I understand that it's because he's lost this humility and is turning into Chef David, which is the worst thing in the world to Carmy, but he shows 0 remorse for being an asshole this season. Him 'not being able to say sorry' isn't a good enough excuse for how truly grating his character was the entire season. I didn't enjoy watching him on screen. My favorite moments this season were the ones where Carmy was no where to be found. I loved Carmy in Seasons 1 and 2, but I wanted nothing to do with him this season. That's just bad writing.

PHEW, that was a lot! Okay my loves, thanks for sticking through all that. Please let me know your thoughts and hot takes too!! Anyway, stan Natalie Berzatto, and pick up some fucking C-folds, yeah?

[dgaftilwedie]

SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF WAS FUCKING NUTS AND I WANNA BE ANNOYING N TALK ABT IT BC I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT OBVS XD

OKAY SO??? THE FACT THAT THEY LITERALLY SET UP THE FIRST EPISODE LIKE IT WAS GONNA BE JUST LIKE THE COMICS N THEN SCOTT "DIED"????? literally had me questioning fucking EVERYTHING i was watching that episode with the most quizzical look on my face?? also the fucking funeral scene was hysterical bc the way rammy n knives were abt to have a verbal face-off n envy's bitchass shows up n steals the whole show?? i have such a love-hate relationship with her.............

also lucas lee is fucking adorable and i love him :33 rammy becoming friends with roxie n making up with her after everything was something i really needed to see. cuz like for as much as i loved the movie n the comics, i feel like they could've done their relationship so much better. like seeing ramona take responsibility for hurting roxie made me so happy and im so glad they got a redemption arc.

ROXIE IS LITERALLY ME BTW??? her whole interaction with ramona n kim at the end kf the episodr was so silly N THE LEG LOCK HELLO????? also the way she walked off singing the HAMSTER DANXE SONG I LOCE HER

the toddlace thing was also so unexpected but holy shit?? i loved it. bi todd has been my fav headcanon for YEARSSSS and seeing jt happen right in front of my eyes?? WATCHING THAT EPISODE WAS SUCH A TRIP THO I CAN'T STOP QUOTING WALLACE'S "LINES? TRAILER?" BITS BC THEY'RE SO FUNNY

uhmmmmm what elseeeee OH YEAH young neil is a fucking goof n i love him, i really like that gideon (gordon ig 🙄) became like this not evil guy who just lived with julie n kicked it with lucas. the old scott stuff kinds fricked with me but i think it's cool that he became chill with the twins

LMFAOAO THAT SCENE AT THE END WHERE SCOTT'S TRTING TK FIGJRE OIT WHY HE CAN'T KISS RAMONA N HE TRIES TO FIGHT THE TWINS AND THEY'RE LIKE "our robot says we become bros in the future, so we have no intention of fighting you. see ya bro ;)" WAS SO SILLY

obligatory matt mention i love him he's so dumb i love that he took over gideon's entire empire only to turn around and change his mind :3 glad he got his broadway moment....... silly pirate headass

knives n stephen becoming the best brother/sister duo ever was so dope bc like. knives had someone to look up to n make music with n they had a lot of chemistry both personality wise n musically wise

my only critique is that i wanted more lisa ;^; i know she probably would've been out of place but it would've been cool if kim mentioned her to ramona and ramona interviewed her just like she did with her exes yknow :P she was one of my fav characters in the comics n she wasn't in the movie AT ALL so i was hoping she would've appeared in the anime, but alas 😞😞 i also kinda wanted to see where kim's love life went...... i know she's not the focus but she had undeniable chemistry with knives and that moment with roxie... i love that she's totally very queer and open to the idea of experimenting with girls n i wish that would've been expanded upon like how todd n wallace had their moment :33

other than that, i LOVED the anime. i love how we got baited into thinking it was just like the comics and i love what was done with it :3 it was such a goofy show and a lot of it was so jaw-droppingly surprising that i couldn't believe it, but it also had some really sweet, serious, n heart-warming moments which is something i really appreciate in a show :33 it's hard to keep watching something for so long but i binged the show in one day xD i'd give it a solid 9/10 (deducting points just for the sake of what i think was missing and how i don't recommend it for like "beginner" fans)

oki rant concluded!!!!!!! ^___^ there's so much more i wanna say but this is already sooooooo long as it is xD

[soullust]

hiii i'm super bored, so here are dps sick headcanons

neil perry

seldom gets sick but when he does it hits him LIKE A TRUCK hates being sick he's allergic to penicillin so he feels very guilty about needing medication stubborn asf, will pretend he's fine for an annoying amount of time. will go to class watery eyed, sweaty, flushed red, shaking and half-delirious has to be forced to rest, but once that's managed he's very calm and sleeps through most of his sickness loves soup. his mom used to (and still does if he happens to get sick while he's home) make him some kind of special soup whenever he got sick and he loved it. give the boy some soup it will cure 99% of his illness.

todd anderson

gets sick frequently but goes through it pretty lightly he's never like, suffering, more like inconvenienced takes him such a long time though. he has never been sick less than a week fatigue hits him hard, he's falling asleep while standing gets pretty bad muscle pains and pretty irritable it makes him pretty snappy, which unfortunately, makes him funny asf, but no one can really laugh bc he's sick, that would be rude

charlie dalton

probably ate dirt as a kid so he's immune to all the germs, and doesn't get sick a lot but when he does his throat just... gives up on him. he looses his voice immediately i think since he barely gets sick the poets have no idea, so when one day he just shows up at breakfast dead silent they assume the apocalypse is near. gets really bad headaches. loud noises make his headaches worse. this is pretty ironic and funny to the other poets starts missing classes the second he can and doesn't come back until he's forced to by nolan himself would love being sick if it wasn't for the whole... being sick thing bc ouch... but like the attention is great

knox overstreet

gets sick at very unfortunate times, like just at the beginning of spring or during school breaks and weekends. convinced he's dying every. single. time. "This Is The End, Write Down My Will For Me Please... Please Call My Mommy, I Shall Bid My Farewell To Her..." to be fair he does get a horrible migraine every single time, so the guys are mostly forgiving of all of the bullshit inhales soup and tea with lemon&honey.

gerard pitts

his temperature spikes up by +0.1°C and immediately delirium hits him and it hits him HARD gets really emotional and cries a lot. mostly bc he loves his friends and animals and science hates taking medicine. you gotta hide it in his food bc he will not take it will not shut the fuck up, not even for a second. not even when he's sleeping (pray for meeks he's really going thru it), talks until he looses his voice also muscle pains get him soo bad, like his back and his legs are useless he can barely sit sometimes

steven meeks 

barely eats anything. all the food becomes repulsive to him and he has to be coaxed to eat literal toddler portions just so he doesn't starve. throws up a lot deathly pale + flushed cheeks and nose + teary, puffy eyes sleepy. hates it. hates missing classes and complains about it a lot. would over-medicate himself to get to go to class quicker luckily he can be easily distracted (mostly by crossword puzzles and music) charlie will go into his room and play saxophone for him sometimes <3

richard cameron

he technically has a pretty good immune system but he's so irrationally afraid of germs that he walks around in a medical mask during flu season to protect himself still gets sick though it's like a vibe check from god to stop fucking panicking like neil, he refuses to admit that he's sick and goes to class shivering, sweaty, and only half-lucid but he will go to class goddammit, gotta keep that perfect attendance somehow still believes that some painkillers will fix him. he almost overdosed once (or twice) has to be forced to rest and argues about it a lot he's hungry. all the time. could eat a five course meal and still be hungry. get my boy some sustenance, he's dying also gets migraines (he gets those anyways, they get way worse when he's sick though)

[animentality]

(Leaps in askbox now its clear) Howdy! I'm curious about your opinions on the companions, like initial thoughts and now that you've clocked in an unhealthy (affectionate) amount of hours? We know what you'd change but how about everyone as is? Thanks!

Alrighty, I can finally answer this one...

Ok.

Man. This is gonna be a long one.

We're gonna start with the shorter opinions first.

Minthara:

I have not done a run where Minthara was alive in Act 2. I literally know almost nothing about her.

I think she's hot and has the sexiest voice of all the female characters, but I know nothing about her story, other than she was a lesbian with Orin. I do wanna try and romance her, but.

Who knows if I'll ever get around to it.

Minsc:

I get that he's a fan favorite from the old games, but I kind of hate him. He feels like fanservice, and I didn't get a nostalgia boner for him, so he does nothing for me as a character.

I honestly kill him. Not out of malice, just more out of, why even have him be here?

Plus I tend to go through the entire game without swapping my party members, because I'm pretending it's a real dnd campaign.

And I ain't changing my team comp for this weirdo who only shows up at the very end.

Sorry to his hamster when I kill him, though.

Jaheira:

She's ok. I don't hate her, but she doesn't do it for me. I don't get why she's Russian. And apparently the only Russian in the whole game.

She also feels like fanservice.

Plus she fucking drops ice storms on everyone's goddamn HEADS when they're already in Hunger of Hadar, and honestly?

We have beef. I let her die sometimes, for that crime specifically. I also skip her house, because it doesn't have good loot, besides the scimitars, and I don't play races or classes that use scimitars. like ever.

Halsin:

I like Halsin generally, he's inoffensive to me, but his "romance" is so bad. It's shallow, it feels tacked on, which it was, and everyone knows how much I HATE how little his sexual trauma is focused on.

I romanced him twice, and both times, I was underwhelmed and kind of shrugged him off.

He should just be a fling option like Mizora. He shouldn't have become a "romance" option. It's fine for him to be a big buff bear hippie that you can fuck, but a companion?

He's got nothing to do with Act 3. It's a detriment to his character and the game, tbh.

Ok, that's the smaller ones out of the way. Now mains:

Astarion:

I got into BG3 for Astarion.

I fully admit it. I saw a scene of him screaming at Tav for blasting him with the sun beam from the githyanki creche, and it was funny as fuck.

Neil Newbon is highly charismatic, and truly elevates a character I don't find that physically attractive. His personality and enthusiasm shine through, and his voice acting is superb. And I am a sucker for angst and redemption and themes of abuse and breaking free of toxic relationships. And darkly, I admit. I do like the more twisted nature of his backstory, the way he had to use his body to survive, has a bad relationship with sex, and was tortured repeatedly. As anyone who reads my writing knows...I am a disgusting sadistic pervert.

That being said.

I no longer like Astarion. Well. No. I like Astarion.

I don't like his fans, or his rhetoric. Astarion has the better writing of BG3, but the lack of nuance from his fans annoys the shit out of me, and overexposure to him as a character, since Tumblr and TikTok are obsessed with him?

No me gusta. I don't hate him as a character, but I can't stand to see Astarion is so perfect posts. He's not, and that's the whole point. He's awful, but you people don't appreciate that. I don't want to see Astarion x Tav headcanons. And I especially do not care about the BookTok crowd being obsessed with him because they just like a dommy vampire, and disrespect his narrative with absolutely no self awareness.

BookTok Astarion is SO GODDAMN BORING. They really just reduce him to a hot dommy vampire daddy, and that's why I never take BookTok recs. Pure garbage.

So. TL;DR - I got BG3 for him, but overexposure to his fans made me be significantly less interested in him. It's a good thing. If I was obsessed with Astarion, I'd be forced to interact with his fans. Thank god for Gortash... I'm free of that prison.

Lae'zel:

I loved Lae'zel the minute she was mean to me.

She's hot as fuck, like seriously, so hot, her neck makes me sweat something fierce, and her voice is sultry and raspy and hostile. just how i like my women.

But I admit...she's too fucking meta. gameplay wise, she's probably the strongest companion you can have for DPS...so I admit...I've had her on my teams so much, that I am sick of her.

And again! It's not because she's badly written. I actually think her character is really strong, and really awesome. I also think her arc is amazing, going from this devoted cult member to basically saying I'm going to fucking kill a god.

I actually teared up a little at the creche this one time, when I had to beg her to stay, and she was like, you knew I had no other path to follow, but this one, or something like that.

But.

But I have beaten the game with her in my party like three times. I've had her in my party on Honor mode like...a million times.

So, tl;dr - I love her to death, but gameplay wise, she's so strong that I can't play her anymore.

Shadowheart:

Ok...I admit it.

I don't like Shadowheart. I find her boring visually, because she's just this generically hot white girl. She was designed to be the companion that all straight cis white men would want to see naked, and that's fine but uh.

Does absolutely nothing for me.

I don't care for her personality either. I don't like her lines, all coy and vaguely condescending. I don't really like how mean she is to you, and it's different from Lae'zel, because at least Lae'zel came from a warrior culture that doesn't put much value on flowery language. Lae'zel makes sense.

Shadowheart is an amnesiac who's just mean to you because.

I also don't care for her story, at all.

Don't care about Shar's Gauntlet or her kidnapped backstory. Don't give a shit about her parents. Don't care that she's scared of wolves or that her hand hurts.

I like the overarching thematic bridge that her character exists on, specifically that the gods will demand everything of you, and will hurt you for their own amusement.

But as a companion...no.

I have never been interested in romancing her. I never have her on the party, except to get that achievement.

I also don't like clerics. I think they're kind of weak, tbh. They're heal bots. They're really only good for spirit guardians, glyph of warding, and removing status effects. Just don't care for that. I'm an all dps team, we have no room for healers.

TL;DR: I don't think Shadowheart is interesting design wise, story wise, or gameplay wise.

Karlach:

I loved Karlach the moment I saw her, I fell deeper in love with her the second I heard her voice, and I knew I would die and kill for her, when I saw her excited "I love you" confession scene.

Seriously.

I have said this before, and I will say it again.

Out of all of these characters, romanceable or not...

I would only marry Karlach in REAL LIFE. I'd never date a man like Gortash or Astarion. I might be friends with Gale, but he's too smart to be my boyfriend.

But Karlach. She brings the wife energy. She could throw me over her shoulder and bash me against the concrete, and I would say thank you, ma'am.

she's also so fucking fun to play. barbarian options in bg3 are so goddamn funny. you can intimidate everyone and just break shit. it's great. you can also constantly throw people AT PEOPLE. And it's great. She's way more fun than Lae'zel because of it.

No notes. Top tier character design. My wife.

But also FUCK the developers for only giving her two fucking quests, one of which is a FETCH IT quest and the other is just a lame boss fight.

And FUCK THEM for only originally giving her an ending where she either dies or becomes a mindflayer. WHY.

And the Avernus ending still annoys me, because the ENTIRE PARTY should be there too.

FUCK YOU LARIAN. Why do you hate Karlach???? You're monsters. She's never done anything wrong, and yet all you do, is wrong her.

Bullshit.

Wyll:

Ok.

Hard truth time.

Wyll is the hottest male companion.

Like.

No cap. Everyone who says Gale, or Astarion, or Halsin-

Incorrect. It's Wyll. He is literally so hot, with the white eye and those sexy throat scars. Hrrrrrrr.

Also, controversial opinion. I actually like his devil form.

I think it makes him even hotter. I do wish he had wilder hair, though.

That being said...

He's horribly underwritten.

I went in, thinking, he's so kind and nice and hot...and then I was disappointed by how little they gave him.

He, like Karlach, got hit with the cut content curse.

And it's so ugly.

And gross.

And honestly, I suspect it's racist.

But yeah.

I think he's really sweet and I like romancing him and all. But they didn't dedicate any time or effort to his romance, and I hate that. But not him. Never him.

TL;DR - my first impression of Wyll was wow, he's hot, I wanna know more about him, and my last impression is, wow, he's so hot, I hate that he has nothing going on because Larian simply didn't bother to give him shit to do.

Gale

Alright, I left Gale for last, because he has the MOST complicated relationship with me.

So I initially missed Gale, because my friend failed the strength check to get him out of the portal.

So for a while, I didn't even know he existed.

Then I started to see more of him on Tiktok and Tumblr, and I was like oh...ok. So...we missed him. Damn.

So I decided to try romancing him fairly early on....only to find out...

I absolutely despised that when he dies, he killed me with necrotic damage.

That pissed me off. In the early days, when I was new to the game, I think I once had a whole team wipe, because Gale and Lae'zel went down, and then Karlach went rampaging, set me on fire, and then died to Gale's necrotic...which is funny in hindsight, but it was annoying at the time.

The eating magical items thing was mildly annoying, but that was far worse.

I pretty much never ran Gale for a long period of time.

As the Dark Urge, I'd often kill him, in fact, just so I wouldn't have to deal with his Arcane Hunger.

And honestly, initially, I kind of disliked his personality too.

I think the first scene I ever saw of him was when you tell him he's ok in bed, and his response is like, I guess I'll go kill myself.

And honestly, I thought he had incel vibes because of it. Then add to the fact that he's rude to you, no matter what, when he needs his third item...and also add that to the annoying gameplay, PLUS the fact.

That I was rocking Sorceror and Warlock for most of my early runs, so didn't need a wizard...I said, no. No Gale.

I don't like Gale.

BUT.

Here's the thing, right?

I got into Gortash... and then I stepped away from Astarion. Started being obsessed with the Dark Urge...

And then I noticed that all of my Durgetash friends were super into Gale, and I didn't get why...

But then weavewithshadow specifically alerted me to the fact that... there are Gale and Gortash parallels...specifically, that they're both brilliant, scruffy, are blinded by ambition, can't appreciate the things they have, and keep chasing after things they can't quite reach.

And then I was like...ok, maybe I've been harsh on him...

So I did his romance...and I felt bad.

Because he's actually very sweet.

And his voice is reallllly lovely when it's soft and fond.

He's a poet...and then I felt bad for all the times I had chewed off his arm.

And honestly, with experience...I now know what to feed him. Mostly garbage magic items like Komira's dumb locket or the ring of color spray from the harpies' nest, or those dumb boots that electrify the water you stand in.

Plus, I'm smart enough to know how to keep Gale alive now, so the necrotic thing isn't an issue.

So.

So. TL;DR I had a very complicated relationship with Gale, first with his mechanics, then with this random out of context scene where he's kind of nasty to you. But I came around, and honestly...right now...I like him more than Astarion.

All he wants to do is...live.

And I relate to that.

And his romance scenes are nice, and he has more of an arc than most of the other companions, Astarion aside.

So there you go, anon.

This took forever to write.

Thanks for the ask, though.

[lit-crits]

(1990) Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 06/06/2024 - 07/06/2024

First time reading? Yes

Rating: 7.5/10

Favourite quote: "if Bruce Springsteen had ever recorded Born To Lurk, these two would have been on the album cover"

Watched the TV show before I read the book so had images of the characters already in my head and couldn't imagine for myself how they looked, which was interesting. I think I would have thought of Crowley as similar to David Tennant anyway though, I wouldn't have imagined Aziraphale as similar to Michael Sheen but he does a great job in the show. Makes a LOT of sense to me that Crowley made Glasgow and Aziraphale Edinburgh, scruffy tough boyfriend vs posh pansy boyfriend - just feels right in my bones. I started counting the amount of times Aziraphale's 'manicured hands' were mentioned, hoping it would be a funny reoccurring thing throughout the book, but it only happened twice :( BUT the gay comments/jokes towards Aziraphale was actually a funny reoccurring thing, a few of my favourites are: Aziraphale having a "penchant for Wilde first editions", being described as "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide", and the fact he is called a fucking FAGGOT and poofter. Crowley is obviously implied to be bi/gay when Anathema basically thinks "oh these two men are...yknow... and in love so I'm safe" when she gets in his car but it is nothing like Aziraphale's descriptions. The book had a lot of silly little things that I really enjoyed: Aziraphale eating a devilled egg made me chuckle, the biker guy with fish tattoo'd on one hand and chip on the other, Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer - like just stupid things that are absolutely brilliant. I have mixed thoughts on the depictions of the Four Horsemen, War was kinda lame and I didn't think she was as cool a concept as the others, Famine was probably my favourite in terms of the concept, Pollution replacing Pestilence is so clever, and then Death was just an edgelord but I'm not sure how else you could write that kind of character. Pepper (aka Pippin Galadriel Moonchild) was one of my favourite characters, which is weird since she is supposed to be a sort of parallel to War who I didn't like. I really was not a fan of Newton Pulsifer and his whole thing with Anathema, he is definitely my least favourite character and it annoys me that she had to put up with his annoying ass. Also, the air base guard thinking that England had gone soft and smiling at the idea of Newton burning faggots was actually wild. Overall, very silly book that I enjoyed very much!

[skoulsons]

you know what time it is. my scrambled thoughts. took me an hour and a half to finish the ep 🥴

-

TLOU EP2

people have said this ep is really good and intense so I’m excited

HERE WE GO

where are we

OH JAKARTA

we going back to two days before it broke out it looks like cause the 24th

Oooh police? What did she do

I think every ep is gonna start with a flashback so that’s cool

or is she like a doctor or something and knows something about the fungus?

she looks distressed?

Ibu ratna okay. Prof of mycology so they need her to inspect the cordyceps or something

I remember seeing a pic of her floating around

my episode froze why

Ophiocordyceps

A HUMAN?

cant survive in humans suree

oh dear is this person gonna be a clicker already or something

oh no okay it’s just her corpse

EUGH I hate surgery stuff and cutting like that

is she gonna wake up I fear

This is so gross please

OH MY FORHDKF that’s horrifying

bro I feel sick wth

FLOUR AND GRAIN FACTORY people were right

so she bit three people and they were all taken into observation

oh fourteen that’s a lot

listening carefully

“There is no vaccine” you’re damn right thank you joel

BOMB alright cool

it’s gonna be hiroshima all over again

was that too much im sorry

no she wants to be with her family before they all die :(

INTROOOOOO

oh the music. gustavo I love you

I cant skip this intro it’s too good man

and the little Joel and Ellie <3

alright back to reality

look at her sleeping. she’s so tiny

they really put butterflies everywhere in this show

her bed hair 😭

did they just shove her in a room or something and tell her to go to sleep

OH THEYRE STARING AT HER AOFHSKDHJER

I feel like I just experienced whiplash

oh cause she’s infected

sir that’s the second time you’ve aimed a gun at her in the last two days

im only 11 minutes in at this rate I’ll never get through this episode

“Don’t worry about that” “well I’m gonna” 😭

“there’s not gonna be anything bad in here” “just you” “oh funny” STOPPP I cant wait to get moments like these where they’re smiling

Joel :((

holy crap. “You need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her”

“Guess not you guys” 😭

joel being scared of Tess going over to Ellie bc he doesn’t want her to get hurt :( the end of this ep is gonna suck real bad

“You must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you” :(

THE FACE PALM

“She told me not to tell anybody and now I’m telling the first people that i-“ this is so Ellie. it’s about the vaccine isn’t it

YUP

Joel knowing exactly what she was saying 😭

FUCK YOU MAN I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS THATS FROM THE GAMEEEE

Tess having to be their mediator

I GET IT!? damn no

her making the clicks 😭

I can’t believe I get to see my little comfort character in live action whisper an “okay” and throw his hands outwards. I love you joel miller

ILL JUST THROW A SANDWICH AT THEM

the chirping birds :)

I hope there’s a little instinctive moment where Joel protects her this ep. IM YEARNING FOR IT (I got it :D)

man those buildings look gnarly

I love how Joel just keeps walking while Tess indulges her questions. he’s so annoyed 😭

they’re such a little family 🫶🏻

oh I’m dumb I had captions this whole time and never put them on

GUSTAVOOOO

NO YOURE JOKING THE LITTLE GIRAFFE TOY. REALLY. REALLY NEIL.

Joel’s just causally eavesdropping cause he won’t talk to her directly but is also still curious

TESS IS SUCH A MOM

Riley :/

you got some balls on you sister 💀

I know I said this last week but Joel really has the “too tired for this shit” plastered on his face all the time and it’s delightful

the scenery is phenomenal

ooh mention of spores

they’ve really got the whole “Ellie bombarding them with questions and inquiring about every little thing” down

OOH CLICKER CLICK. that was loud too

AW LITTLE DUCKS LOOK AT THEM

and a frog too 😭

OH YEHA SHE CANT SWIM

“Have you heard of books?” 💀 he’s SO done with her

NO SMART ASS. his little jump to show her it’s not deep 😭

HIM REACHING HIS HAND TO HELP HER UP <33333333

HE PULLED AWAY SO AGGRESSIVELY

this whole set is so good

YOU TRY CLIMBING TEN FLOORS WITH OUR KNEES. they’re so old this is so cute

ARE WE GONNA GET HIM BOOSTING YHEM UP YES

he won’t even grab her shoulder to shove her aside. mans grabbed a fist full of her hoodie and backpack 😭

“I’m gonna need a few minutes” boy I hope this joelellie convo goes well

ELLIE STOP FLIPPING THE KNIFE

“The circus” he’s so tired

AWW HONESTY ABOUT WHERE HES FROM <3

he’s downplaying her knowledge so much I love this

NOT HER ASKING ABOUT THEM

“PASS”

“no more questions about me” :(

this direction is beautiful. neil I take back anything bad I’ve said about you

OH I THOUGJT YOU WENT TO SCHOOL. he’s so snippy

was that a hint of him smiling. was it. or is my brainrot convincing me of things. WAS IT. she said it’s a really shitty one and it cuts to him I SWEAR THE LOOK ON HIS FACE AND HIS EYES I SWEAR

“sometimes” :( he looks like he’s thinking abt sarah

their height difference bro I can’t wait til they hug

NO WAS SHE BIT BACK THERE?? or no

im trying to cut these into small sections so… next section I guess?

wow. that’s a lot of bodies

all the infected noises wow

wow that’s incredibly scary

ooh the fungus being like a hive mind sort of thing? Interesting

MUSEUMMM

ooh he was testing it

“did Marlene pack you one of these or just sandwiches?” 😭

“I HAVE A SPARE HAND” “CONGRATULATIONS” they’re so funny. if y’all could see the grin on my face

this is so spooky

that guy is messed up

JOELS FACE SHUSHING HER

“from this point forward, we are silent” yes sir whatever you say sir <3

this building is really falling apart

Joel turning back to look a them :’)

these first two eps have a lot of trailer shots which is good

the bodies look so gnarly

why did Joel look so soft opening that door. he just looks so 🤏🏻

oh look, a rare untouched room. not for long

CLICKER TIME RIGHT?

him helping Ellie up :’’’)

wow that’s a gorgeous shot of their lights lighting up the dust from the debris

oh my gosh dude

DUDE THE CLICKER ISBSO GOOD

joel has a tear in his eye telling her to be quiet. I might just 🕳👩‍🦯

ITS SO FREAKY

NOT A SECONF ONE?

it’s right there EUGH

they look so good dude

he sees Ellie he’s going over to get her

his backpack almost hit her in the face 😭

ITS SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH JOEL

this is a serious scene but I can’t help but look at Ellie holding the flashlight on the clicker while joel fires and immediately being reminded of all the times my dad has had to fix something and I have to hold the flashlight over his shoulder while he yells at me to hold it better

HIM GRABBING HER TO PUSH HER BEHIND HIM

oh she was bit a second time I THOUGHT SHE WAS

“If it was gonna happen to ONE of us” mmmm not quite true

ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE

“For once, maybe we could actually win” :/she’s acting like this bc she’s bit and she doesn’t get to win

WORD FOR WORD? WORD FOR WORD!

he looks sm softer looking at her :(

THE WATCH GLANCE

that ladder is so unstable

last ten mins

man she’s in such a rush to get there :/ Joel’s suspicious

EUGH was that crushing his head? sheesh

that bloods looking pretty fresh

oh here we go

oh that’s disgusting okay

Here we goooo

“That’s not my home” why does it look like that broke Joel.

OUR LUCK HAD TO RUN OUT SOONER OR LATER

SHE INFECTED

NO JOEL LOOKS SO

NOT THE BACK AWAY??

on her neck still wow.

OOPS RIGHT

she’s shaking already :(

YOU GET HER THERE YOU KEEP HER ALIVE AND YOUBSET EGRRYTHING RIGHT. ALL THE SHIT WE DID

HES CRYINGGGGG DONT LOOK AT ME HIS EYES ARE RED

we the tendrils are OH OH OH THEYRE WAKING UP OH THE WHOLE CROWD IS WAKING UP

joel baby you gotta go

NOT JOELS BREATH HITCHING

SAVE WHO YOU CAN SAVE *immediately grabs Ellie*

Tess :(

LH THRYRE SO GROSS

I hate that

joel :((

Tess went out like a hero tho what a champ

12/10 episode!! So freaking good

[ocalaghan]

I recently rewatched The Inbetweeners in full plus the two movies, because I'd never actually seen the second one. I can't find anywhere to watch the reunion special though (Fwends Reunited) so if anyone has a link for it PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME. I know it was a disaster but I want to see it.

I just love how that show is the epitome of British humour, but also 'boys will be boys.' It's gross and occasionally offensive (sign of the times) but it genuinely warms my heart because these guys grew up together making this show and must've had such a great time and I just love when I rewatch it.

Discovering it late at night as a young teen and feeling like I shouldn't be watching it was a delight.

I saw the first movie yeeeeeears ago and watched it multiple times since but for some reason never watched the second one. I did this time around and I really enjoyed where they left it.

Simon was always a bit of a hot-headed dick (to his parents more than anyone else, which was interesting because he could also arguably be the most level-headed) but would obviously assume that's something he grew out of. Closing the chapter with him free of Carli's spell and no longer with Lucy either was the most ideal end for him, I think.

Will, the same, I think it was ideal he ended the series single because so many of his problems came from trying to pursue girls. Good luck to him though with his mum marrying Mr. Gilbert lmfaooooo.

Jay's character development was probably the most significant. I was glad Jane didn't take him back but I like to think they stay friends.

Neil was probably my favourite in terms of funniness but why is he always being preyed on by cougars omfg!!!!

Anyway all this to say it's such a classic British comedy, I fucking love it, and if I don't see the reunion somewhere at some point I will be very annoyed.

[alivehouse]

just wondering why you dislike Neil gaiman so much?? not trying to criticize or defend him, just curious

gghhhhh

(this is all just going to be based on good omens related stuff bc i havent really willingly interacted with any other work of his since i was like 12 he is not a great writer imo)

ok before i get into why specifically the way he uses his socials annoys me so much i just want to mention that good omens (tv show) has a serious problem with treating its characters of color poorly/as disposable (which this post goes into) and as far as i know neil has never so much as acknowledged this let alone apologize for it so theres that

but as for why i hate his social media presence specifically so much i just think the way he interacts with his fanbase is annoying & i dont want to use the term 'gaslighting' for something this stupid but i dont even know how else to describe his habit of like. pretending he wrote aziraphale and crowley in a relationship for the sake of clout?

^ he used to regularly regularly say condescending no homo shit like this but then when he realized he could get attention for pretending he wrote queer characters he pulled a 180 and started going 'ohhhh i DID write them in a relationship actually and also trans and also nonbinary i cant believe you didnt GET it just because its SUBTLE im sorry half assed vaguely subtextual scene #5 was not enough for you stupid fa- i mean people'

and he does this shit constantlyyyy and gets no flack for it. in fact a lot of his fanbase encourages it even bc were still stuck on begging for word of god scraps from rich straight men instead of engaging with work made by actual queer people i guess. (ALSO THIS TWEET SPECIFICALLY IS REALLY FUNNY bc like a month later he lied about there being a secret handholding scene in the show to send people on a wild goose chase zooming in on shit trying to find anything just to give him more streams i guess i dont know i think it was a stupid thing to even fall for honestly but it still strikes me as kind of cruel)

i mentioned this in tags before & idk if he still does this but he used to go look up his own name on here to find people talking negatively about him so he could reblog it and get them dogpiled which is why you see people talking negatively about him calling him 'neilman' so much instead of his actual searchable name. literal full grown man picking fights with random people on here bc he knows hell win since hes a famous author and will get backed up no matter what

and ok this is edging into fandom circlejerking (i think hes only said this one a few times but his fanbase brings it up constantly to shield him from any criticisms) so i wont go into this as much as i could but theres this Thing hell do where he says they cant be gay bc they technically arent men bc they arent humans (based on a bit in the book where they feel the need to specify that aziraphale is NOT ACTUALLY GAY after continuously subjecting him to homophobic language/aggression) and people will bend over backwards trying to interpret this as meaning they are canon nonbinary and Epic Trans Rep and hell vaguely encourage this instead of like acknowledging the extended man-in-a-dress evil nanny bit in the show and pointing out that it was fucked up? & honestly the whole undertone of that is like 'this character might go out of their way to look like and dress like and act like and refer to himself as a man but he cant REALLY be a man because he wasnt Created That Way' like how the fuck am i supposed to be treating this as a trans positive read of the situation lmao. not to mention the 'inhuman = nonbinary,' 'nonbinary = CANT be gay!!! there are no gay nonbinary people i guess' legwork going on here going on here i dont know its a whole mess

PLUS i just think its funny that hes said making characters gay would be disrespectful to his deceased cowriter but pulling an entire second out of his ass for that sweet amazon money apparently isnt lmao

and to finish this off just for fun heres him at the start of the pandemic when there was a crazy high rising death toll making it about his fucking book, + him answering another ask in response to that AFTER he had deleted the original post, to make the person asking him look like they were attacking him for no reason:

[ajoytobeheld]

Oh our lives (San Francisco)

April 16th, 2009

I have no idea how on earth we got ourselves into this situation. Three years ago we formed a band through boredom and thinking we could be better than the bands that played first on at every gig we went to at Cardiff Barfly. Now, April 2009, I wake up in the same hotel as Glasvegas, with a stinking hangover, after an evening of party with Sky Larkin, Yoni Wolf, Girls and drag queens. Thank you for enabling us to do this. I swear we are making the most of it.

Some Notes…

We’ve never been able to spend as much time in SF as we’d like to.

Show was rad. I owe a massive, massive thank you to Vanessa, who came through with the ventolin, which means I can get as drunk in the desert as I want, and not have to worry about dying (through an asthma attack. Alcohol poisoning or melting is still very much a possibility).

Our Tour Manager, Joke Puleo, has had the pleasure of touring with Why? in the past, when they’ve supported Yo La Tengo.  Subsequently, Yoni made the trip from Oakland to come hang out and watch us play. He’s a lovely, funny man, and in ultimate flattery, he wanted our record after the show.

Also in attendance were our pals Girls. They’re signed to the label I mentioned being “involved with”, the other day. They’re San Fran residents so were able to tell us the cool hangouts to go after the show. Choice had to be made between Paradise Lounge or the Eagle. An employee of the Paradise place described the Eagle as “butt-fucking, hairy chests”, so that’s where we headed. Girls are the best people. They’re touring the UK soon, so I get to see them play at Bristol Dot To Dot Festival. Very excited.

Really fun drag act, called Anna Conda. Me and Doug chatted with her lots afterwards, and she knew our band. She thought Ellen was the girl from the Ting Tings though.

When we got back to the hotel, Neil heard some Scotch people talking, so he did the British thing and went and spoke to them. It was only motherfucking Glasvegas.  He said they were very friendly, but me and Neil were mostly just jealous because they had an entourage of girls with them, and we just end up alone in our rooms every night, talking about mexican food or Football Manager. Also, someone from Glasvegas has a shared library (Glas Vegas’ Library) on iTunes (shared librarys annoy me generally) and they only had two Cocteau Twins albums (Treasure, and Heaven And Las Vegas), which I thought was strange (I think that’s just based on them being Scottish and wearing black a lot). They did have TWO mp3s of Caravan Of Love by The Housemartins though, which redeemed them in my eyes.  And yes, nice people, I hope their show in SF tonight goes really well.

Sky Larkin have left us now, to go back to Yorkshire. We first played with them in Bradford, on September 13 2006, and have remained the best of friends (or perhaps Awesome Pals) since. They are amazing people and an amazing band, and we love them dearly. Me and Katie were debating last night whether if we pretended to be going out it would make us get more famous. I cannot speak highly enough of them.

WE’RE NOW DRIVING TOWARDS COACHELLA, WORKING OUT WHAT SONGS WE SHOULD PLAY AND TALKING ABOUT ANIMALS’ MENSTRUATION CYCLES. VERY EXCITED!! ABOUT BOTH THINGS!!!

THANK YOU FOR LETTING US DO THESE THINGS!!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 16 March ‘21

Zayn liked a post of singer Ingrid Michaelson wearing a Zayn shirt. How odd, I (and everyone else) thought, Zayn never publicly likes things what is going ON. Well SURE ENOUGH – Ingrid and Zayn collab OUT TONIGHT! WHAT! To Begin Again comes out Midnight EST tonight, omg, and not only that-- there’s a Zinterview coming out!! GQ (using a very cool aesthetic gif with the tag line Everyone is Watching) announced an interview with Zayn coming out TODAY (on newstands in Spain :| available everywhere else sometime later)- they say Zayn “discusses his latest album, his relationship with fans.” ZOMG!! We don’t have the whole thing yet, not being able to pop to a newstand in Spain personally, but there’s a cute picture of Zayn looking young and fresh in one of those gucci disney stripey shirts and his blue hair (so from last Dec-ish), and we got one teaser quote-- “I continually go against the grain when people tell me to do things a certain way, but my stubbornness and willingness to want to do things differently help me get through it.”

Niall is everywhere today in advance of his show tomorrow! He’s back on the golf (promoting) circuit, getting the word out about the Modest tournament- he says “I think some of the female golf professionals who currently play need to be celebrated more so these young girls have icons to look up to, and that was a part of the reason I was so passionate about making our event,” and that he wants to “educate these young girls and get rid of some of the pre-conceived ideas of golf being an old man’s sport.” He also mentioned the old Rio bread van story but with a twist, saying “often that was the only way of getting out of the hotel to see things or to get a bit of golf in” hmmm I feel like that was just your priority Neil but he does talk about how he used to play with Harry “out on tour for a bit of downtime” and says “Harry Styles was a pretty keen player at the time and the golf course was somewhere to chill out for us” (at least he doesn’t call him ‘grammy winner Harry Styles’ and I know it isn’t actually weird but the full name thing sounds so funny from him). There’s a sneak preview of him in the promo for Dermot O Leary’s new podcast series which looks awesome, and he congratulated Roman Kemp on his new documentary about the mental health/suicide crisis among young British men, calling it “eye opening and beautiful” and saying, “we must all look out for each other. The two ok rule, always ask twice.” And of course he’s promoting his SHOW, that’s TOMORROW-- he says he’s put together an acoustic set and makes a cute lil face and tells us “don’t you worry” about not going out this year “cause this little Irishman has got you covered”! THANKS little Irishman! But hey-- what about that Anne Marie collab from way back? Niall and Anne Marie both respond to a tweet asking just that to say… well literally nothing. They both just posted eyeball emojis. Hmph.

Grammy winner Harry Styles was spotted out to eat in Malibu in his favorite personal-time look, the bode ship jacket and floppy pants, and an official portrait with his grammy is up, very cute, an excellent Mona Lisa smirk and boa. Alicia Silverstone (Cher from Clueless herself!) took to twitter to compliment Harry on the “Clueless vibes” of his grammys look- “Cher would be so honored (and totally approve!!) of this chic look,” but backing vocalist India Shawn shows some regret after braving the world of twitter harries all week-- “some of y’all are annoying.” Very mildly put, I can only imagine, I hope Alicia doesn’t get any trouble. Oh and Brazilian artist Fiuk spilled that someone in 1D flirted with him back when they partied in 2014 and he now regrets not going for it (even though the reason he didn’t was that he’s straight). Pictures from that party of him being firmly gripped around the waist by a happy looking Harry circulated, but all five of the boys were there and drunk and of course there’s no reason to believe (knowing what we know about how they are, ie casually flirty) that whoever it was was actually prepared to follow through on any flirting, but who can’t relate to “I’m the wrong sexuality but is there really a WRONG sexuality to want to smooch a member of 1D?”

A couple of the guys from Only The Poets talk about Louis and how amazing Kill My Mind is (“that is a FUCKING CHUNE THOUGH”) and reveal that Louis agrees with me that Ceasefire is the OTP tune that matters. Twitter louies started Louniversity, an account that helps louies with school, so if you trust twitter stans to give accurate info that seems very sweet, and dusted off the Buy Defenseless push, which is always nice right, love that song- except when people are doing it to be dicks about Fine Line pushing back up in the itunes (and probably other) charts due to Harry’s grammy win, which is stupid. FFS if you’re not into someone just ignore them, not everything has to be so hostile all the time jeez.

[propaganda-for-poets]

Hi! I’m back with another hc question! What inside/running jokes do the poets have with one another, and who started them? And a separate question, what do the rest of the student body think of the poets? Like are they famous or just another friend group and also are specific poets more famous than the others? I’ve always thought that Neil and Cameron would be famous as fairy godmothers who help poor first years with their homework and finding classes and stuff. Also Meeks is the library cryptid and you can’t tell me otherwise.

oooooo ok let's see!!!! this is going to be kind of a long post by the way, so buckle up

inside jokes

meeks and pitts def have like a shit ton of really confusing inside jokes and no one has no idea what they're talking about, they also pretty much communicate exclusively in vines, it's fascinating to see these two interact, really. meeks and pitts also have a foam box hanging from the ceiling of their dorm. there's a story behind that, probably.

then neil and charlie also have a bunch since they're close, probably about stupid stuff they did in the past that may or may not have gotten them in trouble. they always share them with the group and let them in the joke so they can all laugh about it, it's fun to have their own things and they do have some of their own things but y'know they love their friends and they wanna share all the stupid stuff they did with them.

now i'm sure neil and todd have their inside jokes being hopelessly in love and everything but todd actually has a bunch of them with cameron, they hang out a lot cause they love their friends, they really do, but they could really use some peace and quiet sometimes. so they actually have a bunch of inside jokes, but they mostly keep them to themselves because they've seen each other do some ridiculous stuff they don't want the others to know they're capable of, they don't really need to know why whenever they see a chihuahua todd asks cameron if he's gonna hunt it down, nothing good could come out of it.

charlie and cameron have an ongoing joke about how many pairs of shoes can fit in their dorm's closet and they keep taking guesses. everyone thinks they're joking and it's just something stupid they came up with because they didn't know what to disagree over, it's all fun and games until one day neil walks in and sees them trying to push the door of a suspiciously full closet. they wanted to see who was right. no one knows where they found all those shoes.

the group has a lot of inside jokes in general because they keep doing weird shit, they definitely reference the poems they read in the cave all the time, whenever they call each other and one of them asks who is it the one on the other line answers "it's god", they make innuendos with weird latin words meeks teaches them and then laugh whenever they're said in class, stuff like that.

social status thing!

okay, i'm actually really excited about this one because i kinda wanted to talk about how welton views the poets seperately, outside of the friend group. cause like they obviously know them as a group, there are some rumors of a secret society here and there in welton and let's be honest, they're an odd bunch, neil and the new kid and whatever the hell pitts and meeks are and Charlie Dalton (tm) and knox who probably has a bit of a reputation as a romantic and then cameron????? like what do these people have to do with each other??? so there's a lot of rumors about them, as a group. but seperately!!!!! let's look into that shall we!!!!!!!!

okay, so neil is definitely popular. he's friendly, he's extroverted, involved in pretty much everything, overall really chill, people like him. they all kinda know there's something going on with him because everyone knows neil's gonna be a doctor but he's never showed any interest in it and he definitely strikes everyone as a creative kind, so they know there's something going on there but no one ever addresses it cause that's how high school students are. neil is kind of welton's golden boy, everybody loves him, and if someone doesn't they're probably a dick who wants to start fights.

todd doesn't have much of a reputation aside from "jeffrey anderson's brother" since he's new and also so quiet, everyone just thinks he's a little shy and some people think he's weird but no one ever dares touch a hair on his head because they know he's with neil, and neil will go berserk if anyone tries to hurt him. not that most of them would want to, todd never did anything to anyone but y'know how some people are. it's like in mean girls where no one dared fuck with anyone who was regina's friend? that's what it's like being friends with neil.

okay, we all know charlie has a bit of a reputation. he's a troublemaker, likes to joke around, probably has a few enemies around welton because he tends to,, punch people a lot. everyone thinks he's kinda cool, some people think he's just annoying, which he kind of is sometimes let's be honest. also a considerable amount of people thought he was in love with neil. he was not. how everyone figured that out i'll leave up to you but i have a,,, few ideas for my beloved little group of chameron shippers, hi guys what's up we're living off of crumbs :)

okay, meeks and pitts go together, we all know that, they actually have kind of a history with,,,,, starting shit, basically, it really started as an accident, they blew something up in the science lab, but then they just said fuck it and kept going over the years, causing a lot of stupid shit, and now all the teachers kinda have their eye on them (hence the demerits, yay). but even the conjoined twins have their own reputations. meeks,,,,,, is kinda shady ngl. people go to him for help with weird stuff. like random people. none of the poets know what this is about, the only thing they know is that he rents banned books to students, but that doesn't explain much. also yes he definitely is the library cryptid. pitts on the other hand is perceived as much more,,, legal that meeks. he's kinda the guy you can always go to for anything, pitts has approximately zero enemies in welton. a lot of people think he's a little stupid, for some reason. he's not. he's smart as shit and it takes ten minutes of hanging out with him to figure that out.

cameron's kinda obvious, people think he's boring and a stick in the mud, but he's still respected because he's clearly impressively smart and will help anyone with homework even if he has his own shit to deal with, which means he can pull the "you owe me one" card at anyone any time he wants to, also he's under the neil perry umbrella and welton doesn't fuck with people under the neil perry umbrella, we've been over this. cameron's kinda intriguing though. no one knows anything about him and everyone thinks "there must be more to this guy than just being a huge dick", so there's a lot of conversation around welton about cameron and he never confirms nor denies anything purely because he thinks it's funny.

knox just kinda comes across as a romantic to everyone, he's always the ones with the love poems in class, getting super hyped for valentine's day, all that stuff. he's very bold so there have been a lot of misunderstandings with people, but he usually works things out, most people like him. knox is probably remembered for doing something really impulsive and really stupid once a few years back, but i can't decide what it is. like, not something impulsive and stupid in the way charlie does to fuck with people, just a,,,,,, really big fuck up, that made the whole school laugh and gave him kind of a positive reputation.

[the-palmetto-king]

In Neil's Sophomore year, Katelyn (5'3, blue eyed, slender build, auburn haired Katelyn) has a friend with cancer and decides to cut her hair very, very short (ahem like Neil's). CUE THE DRAMATICS

listen this took very long i've been insanely busy. so um sorry. but also this ended up really long. so. enjoy.

---------------------

"I'm thinking about cutting my hair," Katelyn said in the car, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Okay. I mean you don't need my permission, and I think you should do it if you want to, but why?" Aaron asked.

"I mean with Emma and everything, I mean I feel like it's the least I could do," she replied. A few weeks ago, one of the vixens had been diagnosed with cancer and it had been hard on all of them. A few of them had decided to band together and cut their hair in a show of support.

Aaron loved how caring she was, caring about everyone from her found family with the vixens to fucking Josten sometimes. He could never, and probably will never, understand how those two came to be friends.

When he picked Katelyn up from her hair stylist's place Aaron's first thought was that she looked amazing.

His second thought was that she looked like Josten. God. His girlfriend, of all people looking like the Palmetto striker who happened to be fucking his brother.

Auburn hair atop a thin face with bright blue eyes flashing in the sunshine.

"Do you like it?" she asked warily.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I really like the feel and the look," Katelyn responded.

"Then yes, I do," Aaron smiled. He pushed all thoughts about his twin brother and his boyfriend out of his head.

His girlfriend was amazing and lovely, and nothing like Josten. He kissed her and pulled out of his parking spot.

When he pulled up to practice later, he saw Josten standing next to Andrew and it nearly gave him a heart attack. When he couldn't see Josten's obnoxious face, his first thought was that it was Katelyn. God. He loved Katelyn more than he loved himself, but he had to figure something out if he thought of Neil fucking Josten every time he looked at her and vice versa.

The more he thought about it, the more he didn't like it. Katelyn was kind, forgiving, and the woman he loved. Neil was ruthless, hotheaded, and the boy who was going after his brother.

Maybe they did look a little similar though. He could admit that. Maybe admit it, but not deal with it. If he ignored it long enough, maybe it would go away.

Sitting in front of Bee a week later, it did not. Clearly. When he was sleep-deprived, for example, he nearly called Neil Katelyn, and he couldn't stop thinking about she looked like Neil when he was kissing Katelyn yesterday. It was seriously fucking him up.

Andrew was running late for their joint session, and he would never talk about it with Andrew. They have enough problems as is. Bee could just tell something was wrong. He could see why Andrew liked her. Maybe "liked" wasn't the word; more like "she appealed to him." He would never understand their relationship and he's given up on trying to.

So when she asked him what was bothering him, he said fuck it and told her. Legally, she couldn't tell anyone.

"So does it bother you that Katelyn and Neil look similar, or that it's Neil she looks similar to?"

Turns out Neil, speaking of the devil, was sick and Andrew decided to skip and take care of him. Aaron had no idea how that made him feel, or whatever it was that Betsy asked because he didn't care. Andrew could skip their session with a fake excuse that he was taking care of his multiple-night stand. He was okay to skip his weekly torture, but Betsy asked him to stay.

Which is how he wound up talking about his current issue.

"I mean- they're so different, and Katelyn and I care about each other, and she could never be like him."

"So it's the fact that she looks like Neil that's bothering you," Bee replied.

"I didn't say that," Aaron protested, "I just hate that they are nothing alike but look so similar."

"And how exactly are they different?"

"Well Katelyn's amazing and I love her, and Neil's well- just Andrew's boyfriend and they don't actually care about each other; Neil's ruthless and rude, and everything Katelyn isn't."

"So is this about you and Andrew then?"

"I did not say that."

"But you meant it," Bee quirked an eyebrow. "And I think you might be upset that you and Andrew aren't as different as you may believe."

"Are you going to give me a solution to stop thinking of my brother's- whatever Neil is to him- or are you just going to sit there and psychoanalyze me?"

"You are welcome to leave if you don't want to get to the root of the problem," Bee replied, completely straight-faced.

"I don't want to get to the root of the problem, I just want it fixed."

When Katelyn picked him up, he tried to push everything relating to Andrew and Neil out of his head.

It was small talk before a genuine question about how therapy went before making out in her car and thinking that this was everything compared to his brother and Neil.

But it wasn't that he didn't care about Andrew, because he did and he was learning to; it was that he could never see how Andrew could look at Neil like he saw Katelyn.

Ignoring it worked for a little while, and he watched the sunlight streaming through her hair as she carefully drove her car back to the dorms. Completely unlike Neil's reckless driving, swerving between lanes like he was still on the run.

They said goodbye in the hallway with a kiss as Aaron opened his door. He trudged through his mountain of homework before waiting outside the Maserati for practice.

Neil and Andrew approached the car and hopped in the front seats of the car. Fuckers.

He rolled his eyes and hopped in the back. He looked at Neil leaning back in his seat and watched as his hair caught fire. Just like Katelyn's did. Fuck. God.

When they finally pulled up to the stadium Aaron jumped out of the car as quickly as he could and slammed the door. Neil looked at him weirdly, but Aaron didn't need anything from the source of his problem at the moment.

They had the same hair and the same eyes. They weren't anything like each other, right? Other than red hair and blue eyes. A fairly rare genetic combination doubling up in Palmetto to torture him. Figures, knowing his luck around anything concerning his brother.

The longer he zoned out staring at Neil, Aaron sort of started to see exactly what was bothering him.

It wasn't just that they were different, and that Neil annoyed him whilst Katelyn did anything but. Maybe it was the fact that Andrew had someone that wasn't him.

He remembered the nights on the bus where Neil comforted Andrew and the time Katelyn punched a guy who catcalled her. As much as he hated to admit it, both he and his brother had found people. Similar people, to say the least.

And whether or not they looked similar, well. It was funny that short auburn hair was what caused Aaron's entire predicament in the first place.

Andrew had Neil. Whether it was an actual relationship or just whatever they did, they were happy and Aaron was okay with that. And Aaron had Katelyn with that, and Andrew was coming to be okay with that.

God, admitting to himself that he and his brother were even somewhat similar was uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, more like it was something he was going to have to get used to.

A week later, he was sitting in front of Bee and he made eye contact and muttered a quick

"You were right."

She smiled and offered him hot cocoa. Andrew didn't say anything or even ask, and he silently thanked his brother for his apathetic attitude.

When Andrew left, Aaron stayed behind.

"I think it was more that it was Andrew's person or whatever," he said.

"Was this about Neil or Andrew?" Bee asked.

"Both, I think," he hesitated, "Maybe that Andrew and I had found people, and maybe even that they were similar." What had Josten even done to him. He wasn't exactly complaining about his mending relationship with Andrew, but now he was talking about his problems.

"Well, Aaron, I think that is a good explanation and that you have made good progress, especially with your brother." He nodded at her and got up from his chair.

In the car, Andrew raised an eyebrow, one of his only tells of emotions, and said, "If you're waiting for me to ask about whatever the fuck is going on with you I'm not going to."

"I wasn't waiting for you to do anything, asshole. And nothing's going on with me," Aaron replied through gritted teeth.

Just because he accepted whatever Josten was to Andrew does not mean he had to play nice with his asshole brother or his boyfriend. But for now, he was okay with his asshole brother and his even worse boyfriend.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[xlady-saya]

Hello! I don’t really use this account a whole lot but I wanted to go ahead and make a pinned post, which I’ll hopefully remember to update frequently lol. Anyways, here’s a collection of the fics I’ve written for aftg, andreil, and others so far ^^

progress comes in small steps series [complete]

and we’re just starting to get it [Rated T, 11.1k]

Neil is nothing and everything all at once, the entire universe for Andrew, however small of a universe that is. Even Aaron is starting to see it, though the pieces still don't line up.

And Andrew is trying to convince Aaron that he's never jealous? Yeah right. You don't spend your entire life being denied, being hurt, going through foster care with nothing to call your own only to be okay with someone else trying to take the one bright piece of life you call yours.

Or, Aaron is done with Andrew's shit and makes it his job to prove his brother wrong.

there’s always more to learn [Rated T, 12.3k]

The subject of Katelyn and Neil hasn't felt like dangerous territory in a long time, but Aaron feels the bomb countdown already coming to an end before Bee even opens her mouth.

"Well, the two of them are so alike," Bee goes on, oblivious to the tension leaking into the space. Her smile is pleasant, teasing. "It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

The world freezes on its axis.

Andrew inhales a little too loudly the same time Aaron chokes on his spit. "W-What?"

trust is a slow process [Rated T, 7.3k]

If Katelyn had been stealthier, she could've escaped the crowded dance floor without Andrew seeing her.

But of course, she's no Neil.

Or: Katelyn and Andrew spend some unwanted quality time together, and Katelyn sees things for what they are.

someday there won’t be scowls [Rated T, 8.1k]

Neil finds that even with his mind's best efforts to hang onto the wounds of the past, his opinion of Aaron just isn't what it used to be. He can thank Andrew and Katelyn for a lot of it, but his own observations certainly help.

When he sees Aaron like this, the mix of worry and adoration on his face as he thinks of Katelyn, Neil can't help but feel too exposed himself.

It's a start.

I want this touch to be familiar [Rated E, 38.1k]

Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It's not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil's hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he's forced to acknowledge how much he's allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

if magic exists, you’re the closest thing [Rated T, 16.2k]

The concept of love is not one Andrew understands.

For a long time, it escaped him. It's always fuzzy, always distorted. He'd given up on it long ago, so why is he still chasing answers?

Whatever the reason, he's content to blame Jean Moreau for a lot of things, Katelyn too.

It's their fault he's here, at the happiest place on earth.

this red is for you [Rated T, 10.8k]

Katelyn never considered herself capable of doling out violence.

It has always been a far away thought, dampened by college courses and late night dates with her boyfriend. She lives a stereotypical life, despite everything she's been through with Aaron. Aside from her growing connection with the notoriously troublesome Foxes, nothing much about her life has changed.

Even then, she's learning she's still able to surprise herself. When Katelyn witnesses Neil defending Andrew, her own protective rage rears its head, ready to be explored.

And maybe that's a good thing.

an unconventional crossing [Rated T, 8.1k]

Aaron likes to believe he and Andrew have a lot more practice navigating their conversations now. And he’s right, mostly. But sometimes, challenges arise at the strangest times, and especially when their significant others are concerned.

In which Andrew and Aaron run into each other at the grocery store, and choose not to part ways.

the roads I traveled with you [Rated T, 35.5k]

When his brother gets engaged, Aaron doesn't expect it to send his head spinning as much as it does. Marriage has always felt like a dream, or a nightmare, one he never thought either of them would be able to achieve.

In that moment, Aaron remembers what he's always known, what keeps his head above water. He wants to be with Katelyn forever. That's never been a question. But marriage hadn't been brought up. For so long it was this abstract concept, a fantasy. He'd always reasoned with himself that it would happen, rationally of course it would, but now...

Now Andrew has made the idea a reality, and Aaron has to confront his own wants for his future.

one shots/multichapters

I’ve had a love of my own [Rated T, ongoing]

Despite everything Neil could’ve imagined for his life, he never thought he’d be here, finally giving the world the interview they’ve always wanted.

It’s been decades, but even with his numerous accolades and sports wins, he finds that they’re the least important thing about his life.

Neil can’t help but laugh. Andrew would be so annoyed if he were here.

Of course, Neil only wants to talk about him, and the life they spent together.

slurred [Rated M, 1.6k]

They're not the type of people to give up control, but with each other they're willing to bend the rules.

growing pains [Rated T, 10.6k]

Stuart knows it’s perfectly normal for teenagers to have crushes. That’s why he’s not surprised in the slightest when Neil starts acting strange; lighter, happier. However, what he doesn’t expect is for the crush to leak into his everyday life—or literally take up residence in his house. Or: five times Stuart knew Neil was hiding a nighttime guest, and one time he actually met him.

your hands are mine to hold [Rated E, 6.7k]

It has taken a long time for Thea to accept a lot of aspects of their past. Her eyes track the fear in Kevin's eyes, emboldened by how his own resolve wears it away year by year. She'll never take that sight for granted.

It's hard to ignore the weights on both of them, with their lives so eaten up by the Exy world and memories of the Nest, but one thing has always remained consistent.

Thea trusts Kevin Day with her everything, and she'll never hesitate to follow him into battle.

better than a night light [Rated T, 7.3k]

Neil hasn’t had the chance to examine the feeling of fear in a long time. He’s all too familiar with it though; from the nightmares, to the memories of a cold basement floor, he knows the feeling like the back of his hand.

But this fear is new, loaded with ridiculousness and a complete lack of reason. It’s nothing more than pixels on a screen, far away theories that can’t hurt him like his past can.

Maybe that’s why he’s beginning to not mind it as much. It doesn’t hurt that Andrew is also there to hold him through it.

Playtime [Rated E, 6.7k]

There was a time when Andrew might've questioned being so into this.

Not anymore.

take what you want [Rated E, 5.4k]

Laila has come a long way from her freshman year, past all the worries and pressure to behave a certain way. She never thought she’d realize it here, lounging poolside with her girlfriend.

The urge to seduce Alvarez is just too good to let go.

a product of absence [Rated T, 7.8k]

It’s funny, Andrew thinks, that this would be seen as a curse in any other situation. Two people, thrown apart by time and circumstances, desperately searching for one another.

But Andrew has never doubted Neil’s return. He’s not running, he’s not worried. It’s perhaps the only waiting game that’s been worth it, that he understands, because this bond with Neil has only ever made sense to him.

In another life, Neil made this much clear: they would always find each other in the end.

here I am, there you go again [Rated T, 17.5k]

There's many things about the past Neil chooses to leave behind, and most of the time it's for the best. For some reason though, his brain can't help but cling to the last memories of him.

"My Ex." Neil bites his tongue at the word, because it never feels right. At this point, so many years later, that man is no one. A stranger. He shouldn't presume to know him anymore than his ex should presume to know Neil.

If he remembers Neil at all.

But Neil should know better than anyone that the past always has a way of catching up to him, and this time, he's not as willing to run as he might've initially thought.

losing battle [Rated M, 3.4k]

It's always been Nicky's dream to be closer with his cousins. However, when he opens Andrew's mail to find more than he bargained for, he finds himself regretting the wish. Unfortunately, no matter how much Andrew's warmed up to him in the last few years, Nicky's pretty sure he'll die (literally) if Andrew finds out.

Nicky's mission begins.

temper, temper [Rated T, 3.7k]

"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple:

Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing.

Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee.

Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness.

And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.

a new contract [Rated T, 7.2k]

Neil’s request is simple on its face, but infinitely complicated given his history.

“Convince your team to sign me.”

And this was Andrew’s deal: If Neil can prove that he’s serious, that he can build a new life for himself so that he doesn’t end up crawling back to Riko, Andrew will convince his coach to recommend him for recruitment in the fall.

Yes, it was meant to be black and white…

But Andrew should’ve known better. Nothing ever is.

What a Rush [Rated E, 1.6k]

It's always Andrew's goal to stretch Neil's pleasure to its limits, and he's barely begun to scratch the surface.

locked together [Rated E, 8.3k]

Andrew licks his lips and tugs on the tail of the beast inside him, righting it so it can point him in the direction of what he's searching for. Neil looks good on top of him, panting and giddy, and it's rare that Andrew doesn't want to flip them over and make Neil fall apart.

But...every once in a while...

Well, he's relaxed today. He wants to listen, he wants orders, he wants to be controlled so long as the control comes from Neil.

do you like scary movies? [Rated T, 22.5k]

To say Andrew has never seen the benefit in the make-believe would be a lie. However, he finds less and less use for it as he grows older. He especially fails to see the benefits of anything from the horror genre; he’s made plenty of his own mistakes, has seen more than enough to terrify him in his life. He doesn’t need to rely on jump scares and idiotic protagonists.

But when he meets Neil, self-proclaimed horror archivist, he finds that maybe he never gave the genre the credit it was due, and he ends up thanking the dull movies eventually…

They lead him to Neil, the realest thing he’s ever known.

[eponinemylove]

aftg tattoo/flower shop au

@essence-29

so it’s wymack’s parlor and he still technically runs it and everything but he’s tired most of the time and he lets kevin pretty much take over

kevin has almost no tattoos himself except one he got that he deeply regrets (in my mind it’s bc riko was his piece of shit ex boyf and pretty much made him get it, but however u want to imagine the backstory of this tattoo is up to you)

anyway he runs the shop with his dad. matt, renee, and seth all work there

andrew runs the flower shop around the corner (managed by betsy). he could not give less of a damn about the parlor tbh. he barely noticed it existed

he’s more of a piercings guy anyway but it’s not like he’s against tattoos

at least, he didn’t care about the parlor until him and renee became friends

i imagine they met at the flower shop when she came in and ordered some for allison. maybe they started seeing each other around more and more, and you know how andrew makes friends. he probably followed her to work one day and they went from there.

either way they’re besties and they work on the same block. so andrew goes in and out of the tattoo parlor fairly often to pick up renee or have lunch.

him and kevin obviously run into each other at some point, probably more often than not

at first they ignored each other’s presence but then andrew started to notice kevin

tattoo artist without (many) tattoos? interesting. he won’t talk about the tattoo he does have? very interesting. he flinched when someone dropped a glass of something and it shattered? now you have his attention

and of course kevin can’t help but notice the hot, 5-foot-nothing guy who comes in at least once a week to harass his patrons and distract his employees

both of which are definitely crimes andrew commits regularly around the parlor

andrew invites kevin out for drinks one night after they’ve been noticing each other for a while. it’s not flirtatious or romantic, but it does feel... weighted. kevin goes. renee and the others are there too, vaguely, but he still manages to end up spending most of the night alone with andrew

they talk. a lot. it’s really slow going because neither one of them particularly feels like talking, but they do. or they come to a mutual understanding at least

they have a weird relationship after that that none of kevin’s friends or andrews relatives can even pretend to understand, but you know what? whatever. they’re KevinAndAndrew

i don’t want to say they’re attached at the hip, but they totally are. anywhere kevin is, andrew follows, especially if kevin is drinking. and they’re not even nice to each other. that’s the confusing part for the others. just looking at them, you wouldn’t even think they were friends, much less maybe-kind of-dating?

so this goes on for a couple of months, and just when everyone thinks they’re getting used to it, neil comes in

literally no one was ready for him. he shows up at the tattoo parlor one day and just applies for a job. no resume, no interview. straight up walks up to the front desk and asks for a job

kevin wants to throw him on his ass but matt says the least they could do was interview the guy

(neil probably looks all kinds of a mess. not like insane or dirty, but just generally disheveled and exhausted and... neil. he looks like neil)

kevin still thinks this is a waste of time, but he lets neil show him what he’s got

no one was expecting neil, but they definitely weren’t expecting him to be so goddamn good

it’s hard to tell if he’s a natural or has actually had years of hardwork and practice, but he’s an amazing artist and he knows his way around a needle

so they hire him.

matt becomes quick friends with neil. seth and neil don’t get along, per se, but they’re almost the exact same brand of asshole so there is a sort of solidarity between them

renee obviously is nothing if not entirely pleasant to neil, but he still has issues trusting her

and kevin? well kevin kind of hates his newest hire

he complains to andrew about him nonstop. about how he’s stupidly talented and a complete bastard and gets along with people but in a chaotic sort of way that makes kevin anxious and annoyed and

kevin has a lot to say and andrew is more than inclined to listen

it’s a surprise to no one when andrew is in the parlor the next day, scoping out neil for himself

oh, and i should mention that neil has literally NO tattoos. not even one. (his mother would never allow something so easily recognizable)

neil barely notices andrew until he confronts him after his shift. i don’t know what he would say, but it would go pretty much like how their meeting went in the books, just probably without the racquet

a fight immediately breaks out that matt and kevin have to break up. renee knows better

yeah neil and andrew don’t get along

andrew is very interested though. so he does what andrew always does. he gets nosy. and personal. and mean

it takes him a surprisingly long time to find any information on neil. he thinks it might be a fake name and kevin assures him that it’s definitely likely, which helps exactly none.

eventually the only thing he manages to gather is that neil has one hell of a temper and could start a fight in an empty room. he also won’t take any shit from anyone, whether it’s from andrew or some random Karen screaming at one of his coworkers for giving her daughter a tattoo she didn’t approve of. he can and will tear someone to shreds, and as much as kevin hates it (“Neil that’s bad for business, you can’t verbally abuse the clients”), andrew is very amused

kevin secretly also really likes neil. it’s hard not to—he says everything kevin wouldn’t dream of and sees through all of kevin’s bullshit. also he’s ridiculously hot and incredibly good at his job, and there’s nothing kevin appreciates more than talent and competence

after, idk, a month? of getting nowhere to unraveling neil’s past, andrew invites him for drinks.

kevin is there of course and pre-approved the decision. matt comes along bc he doesn’t trust andrew in the slightest and he loves neil. renee is there to make sure no one actually gets murdered. seth just shows up bc he thinks something funny might happen, like another fight

not strictly relevant, but allison, dan, and nicky working at the bar/club they frequent??? a Concept.

andrew and kevin are both pretty surprised to find out that neil doesn’t drink. they try and “convince” him otherwise, but neil refuses and short of drugging him, there’s not really anything they can do

nothing really happens the first couple of hours. nicky flirts with neil a couple of times, neil doesn’t notice, the usual. things take a turn when neil spots kevin’s tattoo. other than that, the night was a bust

since this is an au, idgaf what’s in their past. reader interpretation, use ur imagination, go crazy. however, whatever kevin was involved with, neil was somehow tangled up in too. that part stays the same

he doesn’t mention it

he doesn’t mention it

he doesn’t mention it

and then, of course, he mentions it

it’s not on purpose or in anyway eloquent. they probably get into some sort of fight while closing up and it just slips out

there’s a moment of “oh shit”, the complete understanding that passes through the two of them

they don’t mention it

except they do, because andrew finds out

he and neil have a another “talk” bc yeah andrew might run the flower shop, but if neil brings trouble from kevin’s past back to him now, when he’s doing so much better, andrew can and will actually commit homicide

and that’s the start of their relationship!

well, no, not really. neil still takes a while to warm up to them, and a while longer to start feeling any sort of romantic attraction to them. and of course that’s after he realizes they’re even a couple, because trust me, with those two is always questionable whether or not they’re even friends. or acquaintances. or on speaking terms

also they have to eventually talk about everything. set boundaries, clear the air. neil gives them piece by piece looks into his past. it’s slow work, but it’s a little bit of trust given by someone who has never trusted anyone before.

yeah so anyways everyone thought KevinAndAndrew was confusing? well they don’t know what the fuck is going on with KevinAndAndrewAndNeil

what they do know is that kevin and neil do some of the best tattoos in the country. what they do know is that andrew and neil take smoke breaks together in the back alley, halfway between their two shops. what they do know is that andrew and kevin have adopted neil into their relationship and the three of them are so close-knit, it almost becomes impossible to find one away from the others at any given moment

what they do know is that at least twice a week, the short, blond, very scary flower-shop guy walks into a tattoo parlor and a 6-foot tall intimidating tattoo artist and 5’3 ginger with a sharp tongue and sharper attitude immediately stop what they’re doing and go meet him

that’s pretty much it. scary blonde who sells roses for a living falls for scary tattoo artist who doesn’t seem to believe in tattoos. both these idiots then fall for the (not at first glance) scary new guy who is obviously trouble, because this is a tatto/flower shop au, and everyone loves the broken badass with a heart of gold.

there’s something to be said here about the most intimidating and kick-ass power couple (throuple?) ever

also it’s funny bc based on appearances alone, everyone expects neil to run the flower shop, and kevin and andrew to do tattoos. boy are they in for a surprise though, because andrew knows every single flower you could ever think of sticking in a bouquet, and neil could operate a tattoo gun blindfolded

ALSO they all get matching tattoos at some point bc they’re idiots and in love and it probably has a whole crap ton of heartfelt meaning that i don’t want to explain bc i feel like i’ve rambled forever at this point and still said nothing significant

oh and neil 100% gives kevin a coverup, replacing his old tattoo with something else.

there’s all kinds of plants decorating the parlor courtesy of andrews shop, and neil and kevin design andrew’s logo

and betsy makes everyone flower crowns at some point. andrew refuses to acknowledge it i’m any way, but dutifully wears it regardless. neil wears it to work the entire day, and after hangs it in his office-thing. whatever tattoo parlors have. kevin straight up refuses to wear it but neil wears him down and he puts it on for like 20 minutes. there’s even pictures to prove it