#also note. this was done by TWO people and we did disagree on some things so compromises were made

[perilegs]

i got drunk with a friend last night and we ranked soulsborne bosses by fuckability. thoughts?

[mxltifxnd0m]

𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗟𝗔 𝗩𝗦 𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦

»——•——«»——•——«

Summary: You and Stiles can’t choose a couples costume

Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x fem! Reader, Scott McCall x platonic fem! Reader 

Words: 1.6K

»——•——«»——•——«

Warnings: no use of y/n, fluff, language, suggestive, spicy, implied smut, BUT NO SMUT, kinda a college au!

A/N: This was intended to be released in October, but I could not figure out how to finish it for my life. But hey, better late than never, am I right? Anyway I had no clue that Han and Leia’s ship name was Scoundress, but the more you know. Also, it is my first time writing for Stiles!

not beta read but YOLO

𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘬𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

»——•——«»——•——«

"I don't know why you insist we should be Anakin and Padme! We would fit Leia and Han more for Halloween." Stiles whispered harshly, not looking up from the notebook that he was scribbling in.

You roll your eyes at him, "What are you talking about? I said we could do either, but I'd prefer if we were Anakin and Padme." You whisper to him. His head snaps up to protest, but a chair scrapes along the carpeted floor and interrupts Stiles. 

"There you guys are! I was wondering where you were." Scott says a little too loud, and the people at the other tables surrounding you and Stiles give Scott a dirty look.

"Scott, I know you don't visit the library often, but we typically use our inside voices." You whisper as he sits down next to Stiles. Scott shoots you a glare. 

"Anyways, I disagree. We should be Leia and Han, and that's final." You can see that Stiles is done with the conversation.

You squint suspiciously at your boyfriend, "You just want to see me in Leia's slave outfit from ROTJ, don't you?" You can see a red flush creep up Stiles's face and the tips of his ear as he stammers, trying to defend himself before giving up and returning to his notes. You chuckled under your breath to avoid disturbing the other students. 

Scott looks between the two of you, confused, "What are you guys even talking about?" 

"We are trying to figure out what costume we will wear to the party your frat is hosting." You explain, your voice low, "But we are split between two costumes. I want us to be Anakin and Padme, but Stiles-" He snaps up at the call of his name, focusing on the conversation, "-wants us to be Leia and Han." You glare at Stiles. 

"I thought Luke and Leia were together?" Scott says cluelessly. Both you and Stiles groan loudly at Scott's words. A girl from a nearby table glares at you and shushes you. You apologize quietly and turn your gaze to Scott. 

"We've gone over this before Scott. Luke and Leia are siblings, and Han and Leia are together. Do you just forget the movies as soon as we watch them?" Stiles asked exasperatedly. 

"No, I tend to fall asleep halfway through the marathons," Scott says guiltily as he scratches the back of his neck. Stiles closes his eyes and uses his hand to rub his face frustratedly. Stiles murmured something under his breath, and Scott's face screwed up into an offended expression.  

"I heard that." 

"Yeah, no shit, you did. I'm the one who said it for your little werewolf ears to hear." Stiles scoffed quietly at Scott. 

Scott goes to retort, but you snap your fingers twice to get their attention. "As much as I would love to see the two of you bicker, we all know how loud you guys get when you do, and I don't fancy getting kicked out of the library." You smile sardonically at them. They roll their eyes at you but yelp in pain as you lean over the table and tug their ears. 

"Could you guys be quiet? Some people are studying." The girl from earlier whispered firmly to you guys. 

You wince at her tone, "Sorry, we're leaving now." You whispered. You glared at Scott and Stiles and started to pack up your things to leave the library. Stiles scrambled to pack his things, and the two boys followed you outside the library. 

Stiles wraps an arm around your shoulder as you walk through the quad. You thread your fingers through his hand, and he squeezes your hand three times. The annoyed expression melted off your face, and a smile replaced it. You take a quick glance at your phone, checking the time. 

Your eyes widen, "Shit! I have to go! My class starts in 10 minutes." You untangle yourself, "Our discussion isn't over." You tell Stiles before separating yourself from him, pecking his cheek, and waving goodbye at the both of them as you speed walk to your class. 

»——•——«»——•——«

The sound of a keyboard clacking echoes through your silent bedroom. You're hunched over your laptop on your bed as you work on one of your papers for your English class. Lofi beats play quietly in your headphones as you read through your paper for the final time before returning to it tomorrow to edit it. A knock at your bedroom door catches your attention. 

"Yeah, what's up?" You say to your roommate as she peaks her head into your room. 

"You have a visitor." She says with a knowing smirk on her face. 

You roll your eyes at her, smiling, "Tell him he's actually banned from the apartment, then let him in." You instruct as you remove your headphones and stretch your back from your hunched position.  

She nods and closes your door before leaving. You can hear the voice of your roommate and Stiles's voice talking lowly in the apartment's entryway. You hear a scoff from Stiles and footsteps quickly entering the apartment and heading toward your room. He burst through your door, pointing at you. 

"You are so mean, you know that?" Stiles says with a slight pout on his face. He removed his backpack and toed off his shoes to leave near your door. He stands in the doorframe for a moment before you see a mischievous glint passes through his eye, and you catch it. 

"Stiles." You say his name warningly. 

He sends you an innocent smile before quickly running towards you and jumping onto your bed. You yelp loudly, closing your laptop and moving it out of the way of Stiles's landing. He lands on top of you, effectively pinning you to the bed. You can feel Stiles's chest move from his giggling fit as you try to squirm from underneath him. You give up after trying to push him off of you and thread your hand through his hair, scratching his scalp. He relaxes on top of you, settling his total weight on you. After a few minutes, he eventually rolls off you and sits on your bed.

"Any reason as to why you're at my apartment?" You ask him as you sit up and shift until your back rests against your headboard. You go to grab your laptop, but it's quickly moved from out of your reach, and you turn to glare at your boyfriend. 

"Oh, don't give me that look, you know what that does to me babe." Stiles sarcastically as he moves your laptop to your desk. 

"Besides, I'm here to present my argument as to why we should be Han and Leia for Halloween and not Anakin and Padme." Stiles moves closer to you and boops your nose after he finishes his sentence. You scrunch your nose at his actions and shake your head at him.  

"Nope, not going to hear it." 

He groans loudly, "I knew I shouldn't have asked you out, you prefer the prequels over the originals." He flops down on your bed, his head landing on your lap as his legs dangle over the side of the bed. 

"Is that your way of saying that we should break up?" You raise an eyebrow at him. 

He shot up from your lap, "NO! Absolutely not. You're like the woman of my dreams. I'd be an idiot if I broke up with you. Especially with the amount of shit we went through together in high school. I actually had dreams about marrying you, so-" His hands wave wildly as he begins to ramble. You roll your eyes at him and grab his chin to kiss his mouth to shut him up. He immediately shuts up and melts into the kiss. You peck his lips before pulling away. 

"You're such a dork." You smile at Stiles. 

"You're dating this dork." 

"Yeah, maybe Lydia was right. I am out of your league." You joke, and a noise of offense comes from Stiles. You chuckle at his pouty expression and peck his lips.

"I'm kidding babe." You say as you pull away. You move around the bed to straddle him, your thighs on either of his hips, his hands coming to rest on your waist, and you rest your arms on his shoulders. 

"How about we make a compromise? We go as Anakin and Padme this year, and then we can go as Han and Leia next Halloween." Stiles opens his mouth to respond, but you quickly put a finger in front of his lips. 

"I wasn't done, and to sweeten the deal, I'll wear Leia's slave outfit underneath both costumes." You lean closer to Stiles, "How does that sound." You whisper seductively in his ear and plant a kiss underneath it before pulling back to see his whiskey-colored eyes darkening slightly with desire. His hands tighten around your waist before flipping the two of you around, you landing on your back. At the same time, Stiles settles in between your open legs and hovering above you. 

"It doesn't sound fair, but if you wear the outfit often then I'll let it slide." He says lowly, lowering his face closer to yours. 

"Deal." You say breathily, your lips brushing his as you speak. 

"Deal." He says before smashing his lips against yours passionately. Your hands begin to wander and tug at each other's clothes. The room slowly grows hot and fills with low groans and whines coming from both of you. After you finished, you guys showered, went out to get the costumes, and tried them on when you returned to the apartment. 

Let's just say the slave outfit came off as soon as you put it on. 

[anthurak]

One thing that always feels so funny for me when it comes to the Rosebird Parents Theory isn’t when people simply disagree with the theory, but rather people apparently seeing the prospect of a ‘Raven is Ruby’s real father’ reveal to be this totally unthinkable thing and how could anyone ever think this could happen?!

Because once you get past the whole ‘two ladies making a baby’ hurtle, Raven being Ruby’s dad really fits into so many well-known fantasy/sci-fi tropes. Many of which RWBY notably has not done yet, or have already been tied to Raven herself.

I mean, the mysterious villainous and/or anti-heroic loner with ties to the family pulling an ‘I am your Father’ reveal on the protagonist? That’s a fucking CLASSIC. Hell, let’s consider a few things about Raven:

Big, intimidating helmet.

Clear Samurai inspiration.

Wields a katana-like sword that technically has an energy blade (dust=energy) which is generally RED-colored.

Possesses mysterious and terrible over-worldly powers.

Has a mysterious past tied to our protagonist’(s) family.

Was probably in love with our protagonist’s (apparently) dead mother.

Yeah I’d say Raven makes for a pretty good Darth Vader-expy.*

Beyond that specific case, we’ve already seen the story connect Raven to a BUNCH of ‘mysterious and angsty deadbeat dad who left their kid for unclear reasons’ tropes when it comes to Yang. Why not have those apply to Ruby as well? People have been clamoring for years about wanting to see Summer’s narrative dynamic with Yang explored as much as the one she has with Ruby, so why not have the reverse be true with Raven and Ruby as well?

After all, it seems that the story has now given Ruby a reason to seek Raven for answers just as Yang once did.

And as I’ve noted in previous Rosebird Parents posts, No I don’t believe Raven also being Ruby’s deadbeat dad would be somehow ‘redundant’. Particularly because the context is completely different: Yang has known that Raven is her birth-mother for most of her life, whereas Ruby would only just now be finding out that Raven is her birth-father. Far from being redundant, this would allow the story to explore two very different responses of kids to an absent parent: One who has had to live with the knowledge of that absent parent for years, and one who hasn’t and has to deal with this NEW information suddenly getting dropped on her.

Plus, as I alluded to earlier, it’s rather notable that RWBY hasn’t done some big ‘dramatic parent reveal’, given how much of a staple it is to the genre. And given how reimagining, twisting and flipping classic and well-worn fairytale/folklore/fantasy tropes (often via playing with gender-roles) is basically RWBY’s bread and butter at this point, I’d say giving the series heroine an ‘I am your father’ reveal from a woman would fit PERFECTLY in this series.

And if you’re going to ask ‘but how do two ladies make baby?!?’,

Raven can be intersex. Boom. Done.

Alternatively, magic.

As an aside, yes Summer being trans is a perfectly viable alternative. I just think logistically speaking, Raven being intersex and being Ruby’s ‘father’ makes a dramatic reveal a bit more streamlined. Also, the idea of Raven managing to be BOTH a deadbeat mom AND a deadbeat dad is just too funny XD

*Of course, this comparison gets even more fun when we consider Summer having her own Vader-parallels, ie; Summer almost certainly being taken by Salem and given what we can probably assume to be a Vader-esque makeover via grimm-hybridization in setup for a big reveal. So when we combine this with Raven, I think we can view what happened on their last mission as ‘What if Padme/Obi-wan got turned into Vader INSTEAD of Anakin?’ Like Raven in the present is basically Anakin doing Obi-wan’s traumatized hermit shtick, except all angry and edgy because it’s still Anakin.

[badaziraphaletakes]

can you please stop? screenshotting someone else’s post is extremely rude and only makes the fandom a worse place. talk about a bad take you saw, describe how it’s harmful, and vague all you want, but don’t screenshot. i agree that most of these takes are awful but that’s no excuse to do this to people. either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post. stop screenshotting, please.

Either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post.

The assumption that I didn’t try that is where you went wrong. I (mod X) started this blog only after I tried many, many times to confront people about their offensive takes directly and it didn’t work. I was subjected to appalling harassment and even bigotry. That’s what happens when you try to engage with someone who’s being offensive.

I had been throwing the idea around for weeks and what finally decided me on starting it was that I found out that I wasn't alone. That the anti-Autistic bias and the ableism and the transphobia and the victim-blaming and the misogyny (and on and on and on) that we kept seeing and being subjected to was ruining our enjoyment of this show. This was bigger than just me.

FTR, most of the takes that are submitted to us (note that I'll be switching between "I" and "we" in this reply depending on the context) don’t have a handle attached to them, but of the few that do include a handle, 99% of the time I have recognized it as someone who I have seen being so bigoted that there was no possible way I could engage with them. We don't confront people directly partly because we don't want to direct people who disagree back to the OP's blog, and partly to keep the mods safe.

You say “do this to people” like this blog is committing some kind of outrage, which is absurd. We are, at worst, being slightly rude (which I think is justified considering sarcasm and humor are one of the only weapons we have to fight back against hate), whereas most of the posts we comment on are outright hateful. They’re the ones “doing this to people”.

We are being far more considerate of the writers’ feelings and their dignity than they ever were of other people’s in the fandom. The takes are not just ‘awful’ (although, that too haha); they are actively harming vulnerable members of the fandom, and, more concerningly, are spreading messages that will poison our views on how we should treat Autistic people, ab*se survivors, and the like in broader society. Quite frankly, the people who are spouting the kind of anti-Autistic/ableist/victim-blaming/otherwise bigoted crap that forms the bulk of the content we feature here deserve to have their posts screenshotted. People who say things like that do not deserve to be handled with kid gloves in response.

(Also I don’t have time to re-type and slightly paraphrase every bad take I see. And if I did, people would throw out “no one is really saying this”. And even if it weren’t for that, I don’t think it’s reasonable or appropriate to expect me to use my time that way.)

Incidentally, nothing is stopping people from messaging/asking us or commenting if they recognize a post as their own, but only one person has ever done that, asking if a post was theirs. I replied that it was, leaving the ball in their court. So far we haven’t heard back from them about the matter, which is fine. But I digress.

As for this blog making the fandom a worse place - even though it’s only a few weeks old, I’ve had an average of two new people a day, every day, tell me how grateful they are I created it and how it makes them feel safe and how it’s the only reason they haven’t left the fandom. I’ve even had multiple people say “I was going to leave the fandom because of that specific post and then your blog called it out and I felt like I wasn’t alone”. So yeah, I'd say screenshotting is important here.

There is a subset of the fandom - many of us Autistic, Disabled, ab*se survivors, GNC, trans, and/or otherwise oppressed - who have been made to feel EXTRAORDINARILY unsafe by the Aziraphale hate (which far, far too often is thinly-veiled hate for some of the aforementioned groups of people) and the truly scary way people double down when we push back against it. So I don’t care if people are annoyed by my sharing a screenshot of their post. Not when this blog has become a safe space for so many people who otherwise would have had Good Omens ruined for them by the bigotry and general hatefulness we keep seeing.

LSS I will not stop building this tiny lil corner of the internet that is the only part of the fandom where many of us feel safe.

I actually made a post addressing almost this exact thing a couple weeks ago; if I can find it, I’ll add it here in a rb.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

trying stop me brain ruminate & damage already severely disabled self health more:

block tumblr user @ / isopodcloset

[plain text: block tumblr user @ / isopodcloset ]

TL;DR: isopodcloset as someone who not nonverbal nonspeaking, speak over nonverbal autistics about things that impact nonverbal semiverbal people. when be point out cite poorly done survey as source & reason why survey poorly done, hide all people disagree from reblog & refuse acknowledge—effectively silence nonverbal people & continue spread misinformation with poorly done survey.

isopodcloset not seem want conversation or willing listen or think do wrong.

please do not direct engage w isopodcloset, do not harrass. at best, gentle correct people who reblog post who seem misled. but, best way help nonverbal people & people impacted here is reblog this spread this & block isopodcloset.

detailed what happened (under cut w source):

1. isopodcloset made this misinfo post “types of autistic speech” (linked; remember link version is edited, can see original version in reblog chain link below).

2. two nonverbal autistic people (gwydion & me) point out misinformation (both our thing can be see here linked)

3. isopodcloset respond, said add disclaimer to some but also continue speak over & not correct one misinformation by cite survey that poorly done (so cannot trust conclusion)

4. gwydion & me correct separately about how that survey poorly done. gwydion response link here. mine link here, which bullet point/numbered point out all reason why that survey should not be give platform—please read if can.

5. isopodcloset not direct respond to us since, but have hid all reblog of people who spoke against. right now, notes only full of people who agree & people who mislead by isopodcloset misinfo. poorly done survey link still up and can be reblog.

this create more labor for nonverbal people who have to correct more people misinfo, possibly mean even harassment in future.

reminder disabled people (include nonverbal people) allow be angry. some nonverbal and/or higher support needs autistic people cannot control cannot mask emotion & anger & tone. nonverbal people especially not have be all polite & cute & soft when people who not nonverbal speak over us, spread misinfo that impact us, and silence us on purpose when we point out wrong.

in case isopodcloset delete, saved my chain through wayback machine (not sure gwydion okay w me save his so did not).

[serpentthecrow]

Woman's throne

Daemon Targaryen x cousin!fem!reader

Summary: After the Iron Throne starts rejecting the one who sits on it, it's time for your plans to start moving

Warnings: a bit of wound description, mentions of death, ooc Daemon, not proofread.

A/n: Decided to post this! This is my first time writing a fanfic on Tumblr! I really enjoyed writing this! Also, this has some spoilers for the show. Hope you enjoy, if you do, please let me know <3 If you'd like to requests something, my requests are open, please read my pinned post before requesting, there you'll find rules but also the fandoms I write for ❤️❤️

(image from Pinterest)

--------------------------------------------------

You have been summoned for another meeting of the Small Council. You were a Targaryen after all. Normally, you would sit next to your husband, but given the fact that Daemon had other problems to solve than attending another boring routine meeting, you sat next to an empty chair. As you waited with the others for the arrival of your cousin, king Viserys, you caught the death glare of his hand, Otto Hightower. Oh how you despised that man. Another thing you had in common with Daemon, besides being an amazing dragonrider and fighter. As you were about to make a remark at Otto's staring, Viserys entered the room. Your eyes widened as you layed a glance on him. His skin has been littered with small cuts and with him appeared a smell that every warrior would recognize as the smell of rotting flesh. That meant only one thing. You had to get out of here and tell your husband. As if the old Gods heard you, a servant that you recognized as one of your own, hurried to you with a note. The note was from no one else than Daemon himself, who asked you to accompany him on a short trip he'll have to take on the dragonback. So, as quickly as you could, you excused yourself from the room and hurried out of the door. When you finally made it to the landing spot, you already saw Caraxes, Daemon's Dragon, waiting with his rider by his side. You met Daemon halfway and he quickly embraced you. "Daemon" you began. "What is it my love?" Daemon asked with slight concern lacing his voice. "On our way back, we must go to the Stepstones" you continued. "The clock has been turned and the sand is running Daemon". "What do you mean?" he asked slightly confused. "It's the Iron Throne, it... started to reject Viserys. It doesn't want him anymore. If you get crowned as the king of Stepstones, chances are, that the court will claim us worthy of sitting on it instead of your brother. You know it's a matter of time before he dies." Daemon looked at you with a devilish smirk."You certainly understand strategy more than most of the people we sit in the council with, my darling. I agree with you, it's about time that this kingdom gets a new ruler." After that, he helped you to jump on Caraxes, joining you in the saddle soon after. And just a couple hours after the two of you took off, you landed at The Stepstones. Since neither of you had any important business back at King's Landing, you stayed at your new kingdom for a couple months even after Daemon's coronation. The time of your return came soon after a letter informing the both of you about Viserys's death and his wish for you to be the heir. Unlike any other times you have returned to your birth town as winners of battles, this time you have stepped into the throne room as the King and Queen of the Narrow sea. Mainly for this reason, it has been decided to respect your late cousins wishes and name you the heir to the Iron Throne. Those who disagreed with the majority, had three options -accept it, leave, or be met with the fire of Caraxes. Funny, how no one chose the third option. All though, there was still a bit of arranging that had to be done. First: there is only one seat at the Iron Throne, unless Daemon wants to sit on your lap all the time. So you did what you could, and named him your hand. Which brought you to the second thing; what to do with the late king's former hand. A day later, Otto Hightower has been burned to ashes for his crimes against the crown, such as manipulation and bribes(and unmentioned personal reasons). As you sat comfortably on the Throne made of swords, with your husband at your side and a crowd of people on their knees, waiting for your first order, you internally laughed at the foolish person who said that no woman would sit on the Iron Throne.

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (PART TEN)

notes: all creds for the 4th photo go to @/sholden43 on twitter! also, i can’t remember who took the 7th photo, or even if it’s from the CBJ game but it was in my camera roll amongst the pics from that game so i’m just assuming it is. if it’s your photo or you know who took it, please let me know so i can give creds!

previous: nine

next: eleven

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, john.marino97, and 33,618 others

y/ndevils00 wassup?! welcome back to my postgame appreciation post! we’re switching things up and trying something a little bit different recently, we’re scrapping the full recaps and making some adjustments!

as usual, i’m so proud of my boys! they won tonight’s game against the Blue Jackets with a SEVEN goal lead! making the end score 8-1!

we had six different goal scorers tonight, and i’m so proud of all of them, but i’d like to focus on a few people in specific!

you’ll notice there are a couple pictures of my best friends thrown in there! best friend number 2 was the third star of the game after earning THREE assists tonight! i told him to do better, AND HE DID. so very proud of you maraschino cherry 🫶

best friend number 1 didn’t actually do anything, but look how pretty he looked :) he got some head pats for that!

the OG swiss, our captain, mr. “fucking pussy” himself, fought tonight! and i couldn’t be happier! he was repeatedly cross checked by billy sweezey (i am under his bed.) and nico had ENOUGH! i loved every second of that fight. and STILL we ended up with the power play 😈

and finally the first star of the game, the first star in my heart: JACK ROWDEN HUGHES! my pretty boy had TWO goals tonight AND TWO assists! he’s had the most amazing season and i couldn’t be more proud of him! can’t wait to get home ;)

tagged jackhughes, dawson1417, nicohischier and john.marino97

john.marino97 did you drink tonight? you actually said you’re proud of me!

y/ndevils00 i had approximately two (2) drinks tonight! i am ✨mostly✨ sober

john.marino97 mostly?

y/ndevils00 kinda. i am KINDA sober.

dawson1417 i love your head pats! thank you bff number 3!

y/ndevils00 i’m glad because they’re given with love!

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 DAWSON’S are given with love, mine usually seem pretty passive aggressive

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 shut it, wench

user09 i’m still wondering how long y/n and jack have been dating because we got a random hard launch but they live together and have a cat together

jackhughes thank you, my love! a bit cheesy but i’m thankful nonetheless!

y/ndevils00 was it the “first star in my heart”?

jackhughes it was the “first star in my heart”.

y/ndevils00 damn

nicohischier thank you? but was the third “nickname” really necessary?

y/ndevils00 extremely

nicohischier i think i have to disagree

y/ndevils00 good thing you don’t get paid for thinking 🥰

user27 was that… an innuendo at the end?

user35 you must be new here, yeah she’s done it before and i’m sure she’ll do it again

jesperbratt happy for all of them! 😁

y/ndevils00 i wanna protect you with my life

jesperbratt okay!

ryangraves27 do i get another feature next post?

y/ndevils00 we’ll see! 💵

ryangraves27 you wouldn’t REALLY make me pay

dawson1417 yes she would

jackhughes yes she would.

trevorzegras yes she would

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras you’ve never even been on a devils post, how would you know?

trevorzegras @/y/ndevils00 because i know YOU and i know you’re a witch and would definitely make people pay you.

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras you are the human equivalent of a rock in my shoe.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Oh, do I have THOUGHTS about this week's Hidden Agenda. I'm going to try and articulate this best I can in the limited time I have.

Here's the thing. There will be times in your life when you upset someone you love, and you will be 100% convinced that you did absolutely nothing wrong. But if you go into trying to rebuild things holding on to that belief, you are going to have problems.

As a friend of mine once said, you can be right all the time, or you can be in relationship. You can't do both.

(Key here is healthy relationships, abuse dynamics are a whole different thing).

I want to talk about how Joke fucked up, and how the relationship may seem fixed, but there's still a huge problem. And how in contrast, Jeng actually ended up doing this right - even though at first glance the two situations may have seemed to have played out the same way.

So in both cases, Joke & Jeng feel like they've done nothing wrong. In Joke's case, he wanted to get close to Zo. He's made it clear from early on that for him, love is a valid justification for behaviors that others might question (such as when Kot pushes back at him for how he's behaving with Zo). Jeng also feels like he's done nothing wrong because Pok entered the relationship knowing they'd be closeted.

But as we've all learned, Zo feels strongly about being manipulated, especially after his horrific experience with Puen. And Pok may have started off being able to deal with hiding his relationship, but his feelings have changed as he gets hurt more and more. (And people are allowed to change what they want in relationships; having agreed to something doesn't mean you can't change your mind - even though it may sometimes end the relationship).

So we then enter the absolute cringe phase, where Joke thinks he can romantic gesture his way into Zo's forgiveness (side note, that "big gesture" was absolutely horrifying and I would have died on the spot). Because he didn't really do anything wrong, right? Cuteness should be enough.

Bonus points to Kot for also having some emotional intelligence here.

Let's switch to Jeng for a moment. I do find it ironic that Joke is actually the one who reminds him to consider Pok's perspective here (but let's face it, we're all better at giving other people advice than ourselves).

And then, by being a part of Joke's gesture, Jeng has a good opportunity to realize how futile something like that is, if you don't have real understanding behind it. He shows up home with flowers (another superficial romantic gesture) to discover he is on the verge of completely losing Pok. At which point he does important thing number one - he shows that he has actually considered Pok's perspective, and UNDERSTANDS IT.

This is such a key thing that I think a lot of people miss when it comes to interpersonal conflict. You can disagree with someone else's perspective, but still take the time to understand and empathize with it. And in many cases, once you take the time to do that, you actually tend to realize the other person had a valid point - which Jeng realizes here.

And here comes important thing number two for Jeng rebuilding his relationship with Pok. He IMMEDIATELY follows it up with behavior that proves it when he says Pok is the most important thing in his life.

So why is it different with Joke? On the surface, he does the same thing. He says he understands, he says he is sorry. Why do I think this conflict is not resolved?

Because of this, right here.

He still feels justified, y'all. He knows why Zo is mad, and he is sorry. He will say what he needs to say for Zo's forgiveness. But he will 100% do it again.

This isn't over.

[ack4rwoman]

𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐒

: ̗̀➛ word count: 12.5k

: ̗̀➛ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

: ̗̀➛ notes: yep, i’ve decided that i’m gonna turn this in to a series. again, this is all satire, so no cringey bits will be written bc i can’t with the second hand embarrassment, lol

: ̗̀➛ summary: you gather your two best friends' opinions about your new crush, and while commandant shadis has a few things to say, too, you find yourself introduced in a sticky predicament.

previous chapter :) next chapter :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

“you could have had a crush on anyone. anyone, y/n, and you chose captain levi?”

the much taller boy with ash brown hair did not look impressed. in fact, the more he frowned, the more he looked like a horse that had been foolishly lead to a suicide charge by commander erwin himself. it was funny, amusing, and satisfying to see, but it wasn’t doing you any favours in terms of support.

jean kirstein was a hater anyway. your best friend, yes, but also your number one hater. you could always count on him to point out your flaws in almost everything; that didn’t mean that you didn’t do the same to him. you gave just as good as you got, it was a mutual thing and although it could get annoying, it was fun. he understood your humour, he just didn’t encourage it, choosing to watch from the side-lines as you embarrass yourself time and time again (‘the one form of entertainment we can get here during training’, he would always say).

“i’m gonna pursue him,” you declared, overwhelmed with pride at your marvellous decision.

jean’s eyes widened significantly. he had been previously practicing the way he would throw more effective punches, but had come to a halt when you had said exactly that, nearly tripping over his own feet. what a dramatic bitch.

“of all the stupid things you’ve done and plan on doing,” began jean, pupils dilating, “this has got to take the cake. what the fuck?”

“wanna know my plan?” you asked, ignoring the way his eye twitched in irritation.

“no.”

“silly jean,” you chortled, “thinking i’d stop just because you said so.”

“you asked if i wanted to know!”

“and i’m telling you anyway.”

jean looked over your shoulder, forming the most expressionless look you had ever seen in your life. he was almost as monotoned as the captain you had grown to be fond of, but not really there yet.

and just who was he making that face at?

it was because of you, yes, but it was like he was silently communicating with the third party of your little group: marco bott.

marco bott, the most purest being inside the walls, would agree with you. you know he would, because even if there were a chance that he wouldn’t, he’d never actually voice that. he wasn’t jean, and he would never try to upset you. he was way too caring of other people’s feelings so you had tried to corrupt him many times, but 1. jean was always there to stop you, and 2. marco bott was literally an angel in disguise. there was no corrupting him when he was so innocent and righteous. eventually, you gave up: one can only be persistent for so long.

“eff you, jean,” you cursed, turning around to face marco instead, watching as he pulled a fallen leaf out of his dark hair. “marco, what do you think? i can pull him, right?”

marco smiled sheepishly. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think that marco disagreed with you... but that simply could not be it. marco would never, unless —

you swivelled on the spot, only just about catching jean moving from some action he seemed to have been making when your back was turned, his gaze now stupidly set directly at the sun hovering above you all, and fingers stroking his long chin.

“why are you corrupting him?” you demanded angrily. “that’s my thing!”

“i wasn’t corrupting him, you psycho,” argued jean, now blinking rapidly after ripping his gaze away from the blinding light. “and even if i was, you’re such a hypocrite.”

“jean —”

“he wasn’t corrupting me,” marco interrupted gently. when you looked at him over your shoulder, you could see that his ears had turned pink. the mother fucker was lying.

“marco butt,” you stated, silently fuming.

“it’s — it’s bott —”

“well maybe you should change it to b-u-t-t.”

“no.”

“yes.”

“no.”

“please?”

“no.”

“see, now you’re just playing favourites,” you said, rolling your eyes as you gestured to Jean, who was still frowning. “if jean had suggested it —”

“yeah but i would never,” the horse interrupted, pacing, “i’ve got double the brains you have.”

“yet you still can’t figure out a way to get mikasa to even look at you.”

jean looked visibly taken aback by your response, standing up straighter and scowling.

“why would i want her to look at me?” he demanded, continuing to pace. only, the speed at which he walked and turned had increased notably. both you and marco had noticed, glancing at one another for just a split second before hiding your grins.

you also noticed the way his strides had lengthened: jean had never told you or marco about his small crush on mikasa ackerman (the girl who was at the top of the class for eveything) but the two of you already knew — the poor guy would blush over the smallest of interactions with her every once in a while. too bad mikasa wouldn't even spare him a single glance.

you chose to put the teasing to a pause for now (making a mental note in your head to bring it up later) because you still needed to tell your two best friends about your master plan.

“whatever,” you hastily said, looking at marco once more. the boy was trying to actively avoid your gaze; what an idiot, thinking he could scramble away from your clutch. “captain levi’s in the scout regiment.”

at that, both of your friends stopped dead in their tracks. usually, marco would remind you and jean to keep moving (nobody wanted to go deaf in the ears when commandant shadis would scream about how you maggots were slouching off) but this time, he had stopped moving altogether, not even scolding jean for doing the same.

you wondered if you had said something wrong.

well, arguably, everything that came out of your mouth was something the two constantly opposed, but this seemed different.

maybe it was the way marco’s eyes were wide open in a silent whisper of ‘you shouldn’t’, maybe it was the way jean’s feet were practically planted into the ground with shock, or maybe it was the way the two were unwilling to even look at you that made you slowly begin to understand what that traumatised look on their faces were because of.

you had almost completely forgotten that both marco and jean were competing with everybody else to be part of the military police brigade: marco ranking seventh and jean ranking sixth. when the faction selection part would come soon, they would be joining the mps whereas you would be joining the scouts. they seemed to have figured it out all on their own.

“you’re joining the scouts?” jean had asked after the awkward silence had passed. you didn’t even get a chance to answer before he continued. “what, are you telling me that your master plan is to turn in to that suicidal blockhead? you've got a death wish!”

you knew who he meant. close friend of mikasa's, eren jaeger had been hellbent on joining the scouts since day one of the training corps. jean and eren had quite the tendency of butting heads every once in a while. where it had once been amusing to watch, the consistency of the arguments over basically nothing had become tiring.

as much as you wanted to joke around with jean about this, you could easily tell from the way his brows were creasing that he was dead serious.

“no,” you told him, “how will i ever get to be with the captain if i die?”

“you’re signing yourself up for death with the thought of joining the scouts,” replied jean bitterly.

“oh?” you questioned, eyes narrowing dangerously. “and you’ll spend your life living instead by signing yourself up for the mps, abusing your power, living in the interior with a lavish life while the scouts and the garrisons actually get something done.”

“that won’t be me,” stated jean, voice becoming more stern as he stared at you. “when i join the mps, i’ll actually use my power for good.”

“yeah, you tell me how many mps have said that before actually joining. name one.”

“guys,��� started marco, voice shaky as he stepped between you two; you had not realised how close you had gotten to jean in the heat of the moment, "i think we should continue training before —"

“i’ve never met them or spoken to them,” said jean, cutting through marco as if he had not heard the dark-haired boy speak. as a result, marco looked disappointed. "but you have. you could name —"

“nile dok. that’s gonna be your future commander, right?”

“what’s wrong with that?”

“you can’t argue that the mps are working for good if you have him you’re working under.”

“you’re just salty that commander erwin smith lost his girl to him —”

“that has got nothing to do with this!” you snapped, wanting to wipe the stupid twitch in jean’s lip. he found your anger amusing. “don’t you dare talk about poor commander erwin like that when you lost mikasa to eren —”

“what has any of this got to do with that?” roared jean, exhaling deeply through his nose. his pale cheeks had warmed. “and i don’t even like her!”

“jean...” began marco nervously.

“and that means nothing because you lost captain levi to nobody!”

you gasped, scandalised as marco muttered your name. how dare you? you thought in your head, opening your mouth to clap something witty back, only to be interrupted by the bellowing in your left ear.

“CADET L/N!”

you turned your head, ear ringing at the loud voice, and lo and behold, commandant shadis looking as angry as ever, the wrinkles pulling on each side of his eyes with the furrowing of his dark brows. commandant shadis and you had never gotten along. when you had first joined the training corps, it seemed that the commandant had it out for you because from that day onwards, he had made you a target, one to shout at and reprimand every second of the day.

of course, you were not completely innocent yourself. sometimes you would get a rise out of him intentionally.

“is there a reason as to why you maggots are slouching?” you didn’t even get an answer out before he hurried on to say, “do something!”

you did not need to be told twice. what jean had said previously about you and captain levi stung, so without a second thought, your right arm swung up and clashed against his cheek, leaving a red hand print on the side of his face. his head snapped back in place in fury.

“what the fuck?”

“you deserved it!”

“you —”

“c’mon then mp, what’re you gonna do, huh? arrest me?”

“what?”

“or are you gonna steal captain levi from me like nile dok stole marie from erwin smith?” you questioned sharply. jean looked bewildered beyond any confusion you had ever seen on him before, but you did not care. “repeating history, right? well i know better than erwin, and i’m gonna pursue —”

“l/n,” said a low voice from your right.

if you hadn’t turned your head to see who had interrupted your very important speech, you would not have believed anybody if they had told you that the person who had uttered your name so quietly and calmly was commandant shadis. that man was anything but calm, and never once had you ever gotten such a nice word from him, even if it was just your name that hadn’t been screamed at you. commandant shadis seemed surprised with himself too, but sighed tiredly instead of correcting himself.

“my office,” he said, now growling. your brows were knitting together, bemused. “i’ve got a bone to pick with you.”

and then he turned on the spot, giving you a clear view of the lines at the back of his head. now that you could see it up close, you realised how it looked very much like a face. is that how he always knows when one of us aren’t training? he’s got eyes at the back of his head...

you hadn’t realised how long you had been staring for, and it wasn’t even a pleasant sight to be daydreaming over. only when he stopped walking, turned around, and sent you a vicious glare did you straighten up, palms becoming sweaty.

oh fudge, i’m caught.

“l/n,” he began (again, oddly tranquil). you held your breath. “MOVE!”

“yes sir,” you said obediently, not even waiting a single second before jumping on the spot and hurrying to catch up with him, ignoring the laughter rising from around you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

fucking eyebrows smith.

the walk to commandant shadis’s office was awkward and incredibly uneasy. you took your time walking a good distance away from him so to onlookers, it didn’t look like you were in trouble (again). although you should have known that you were walking with a man who screams for a living, so being sneaky like this would only result in him bellowing at you again (‘WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, SCUM?’), ruining your entire plan as you kept your head hung with annoyance (‘okay, i am right here, you do not need to yell’), which earned another load of spit flying over to you when he began screaming again.

so now you were sitting in his office, seething silently about not him, keith shadis, but the devil in disguise, the blonde brainiac, the mind flayer, the blonde brute, the leader of the scouts, commander erwin smith. the mother fucker betrayed you.

well, not like he had not said that he would be informing shadis about you, but still. partners in crime wouldn’t do that to each other, but arguably, it looked more like a one-sided partner in crime type of relationship. erwin smith just seemed exhausted with the way you listened to nobody but yourself and somehow managed to put up with you for as long as he did - which isn’t too long, in your defence.

commandant shadis’s office was much smaller than the one you had been in previously (the traitor’s office). with a desk at the very centre of the room rather than the back, with floors made of wood rather than the easy tiles, with a bookshelf that had gathered an eye catching amount of dust, shadis’s office looked as though it were made for him, with nothing out of the ordinary. the guy even had a mega phone standing at the top of his drawer in the left corner (whatever for? he shouts just fine without it).

“you know why we’re here,” shadis began, clearing his throat and staring at you. the way his face looked, you knew that if you were seeing him in a dark alleyway, you would run the other way immediately. he had a natural scary look that many of the other higher ups did not possess.

you did not respond. what was there to say, after all? ‘yes, i’ve had this chat with the traito- erwin smith already’ and then risk getting shouted at, or ‘yes, i know’ and risk getting shouted at again? erwin’s backed you in to a corner with this, the backstabber.

“how many times have i told you to mind your own. damn. business?”

he’s not screaming?

well it looked odd. the many times you had been called out of training to get lectured by him, none of them ever had an occasion where he never raised his voice. this was extremely peculiar.

“twenty seven times, sir,” you answered honestly, because you had been counting since last month. when shadis raised a brow at you, looking almost speechless, you corrected yourself. “oh, you’re right. it was twenty eight, sorry.”

his confused look turned in to a sneer.

“that’s not why i was —” he started, growing aggravated. he closed his eyes and shook his head. “never mind. why did you do it?”

“do what?”

“you know what.”

“i don’t really —”

“i’m losing my patience, cadet.”

you sighed, feeling something hot by your abdomen.

“yeah, and i’m losing my patience. oh.. i also really need to do something you won’t be happy about.”

shadis looked as though he wanted to grab the megaphone and scream in to it. you frowned as you awaited his long overdue response.

“i am assigning you to stable duty,” he informed you, rolling his eyes when he saw the enraged look that had called itself home on your face. you bit back a witty response, your sharp tongue beginning to hurt at the repression. “and you’re doing laps till the sun sets, no pause.”

the way in which he said this made your stomach churn even further, the unsettling feeling in your abdomen remained.. and perhaps increased at his statement. you exhaled heavily, leaning back in the uncomfortable chair you were sitting in (the corps really need to use some of that money they get on comfortable seats for fuck’s sake) and clasped your hands together, both elbows resting on the arms on your seat.

oh no, i don’t feel too good..

“well you leave me no choice,” you told him, standing up and walking towards the door a large distance behind you.

“what?“ you heard him mutter, but you really did not want to suffer the experience of getting yelled at for what you were about to do, so leaving without a single glance over your shoulder would be the best option, you had decided. “cadet l/n, sit back down.”

you turned to face him, monotoned and straight faced.

“sir, i really need to step outside for this —”

“cadet l/n!” shadis started, standing up from his seat as you turned away, reaching for the door knob. he wasn’t exactly screaming, but it was closer to it than ever. “are you — get back in here right now!”

you stared at him through half lidded eyes. why would this man just refuse to listen to you? you were doing this for his benefit.

“please sir, i have to leave —”

“what is the meaning of this?” he asked seriously. “you think you’re so special you need to take a step outside and come in when you’re ready? with that attitude, you’ll be titan meal before anyone else in the corps!”

“no, please, sir —”

“you are not leaving!”

“fine, don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

your stomach churned once more, a final time, the last time before you felt the gas travel down and.. poof..

the silence was deafening, almost too loud for you to bare. it wasn’t uncomfortable, and you carefully watched shadis as the irate look on his face remained, teeth gritted and jaw clenched. your eyes travelled up to his nose when you saw it twitch, and then his nostrils flared: once.. twice.. a third time, before..

“CADET — L/N!” he all but roared, stretching out the last couple of letters of your name as the sound of his palm slapping against his nose and mouth came, louder than any silence you had the unfortunate luck of baring.

“that’s gonna leave a mark tomorrow,” you mumbled, leaning back in disgust.

if he heard you, he didn’t give any indication that he cared, for he pointed at the door, fingers shaky, a silent order for you to leave.

the smell couldn’t have been that bad. god, men are so dramatic, you concluded in your head. well, the smell wasn’t as bad to you anyway.

it smelt like raw meat that had been freshly cut and butchered, a hint of bad eggs and offed milk was evident; it seemed to have reached every single inch of the room, including all the corners. the plant that sat on his window sill, you could have sworn you saw one of its leaves droop slightly lower. the plant was probably a male too, dramatic-ass bitch.

it was a fart, it really wasn’t that bad. and that was what you smelled, so perhaps it was worse for the victims of it rather than the owner?

you scrunched your nose up at the thought as you rubbed your stomach.

“i probably shouldn’t have had the eggs for breakfast..”

“LEAVE!” shadis ordered, waving frantically at the door.

his tanned skin had turned a nasty shade of crimson, darker than when eren would pick a fight with jean and steam would flow out of his ears with every punch he sent.

“i told you but you chose not to listen to me,” you informed him, actually stepping further in to the room.

shadis took note of this and began yelling at the top of his lungs, a new form of colourful vocabulary even nile dok hadn’t showed you. interesting.

commandant shadis ran to the window, shaky hands trying to pry it open. you watched him, shaking your head at his obvious stupidity. before you could get a single word in, however, he was ordering you to leave again.

“GET — OUT!”

“no,” you answered back, defiant. “you’re really confusing me you know. when i say i want to leave, you tell me to stay. when i say i don’t want to leave, you tell me to leave. everyone says it’s women that are confusing but oh my gosh, men are just something else!”

as your speech continued (and turned in to a rant) shadis was trying to punch open his window - a stupid move, again, men - as well as try to intervene.

“i will stay in this room and i am not leaving because i know that when i leave — no, don’t interrupt me, i’m speaking — when i leave, you’ll tell me to come back in!”

“WHY WON’T THIS —” he gags “— WINDOW — OPEN?”

commandant shadis begins to wrap a veiny hand around his throat, bent over and breathing out heavily, exhaling as much as he could, but it looked as though it was only worsening things, because he had no choice but to inhale the air right back in again.

he looks up, eyes bloodshot, and you felt like a prey staring at the predator who was about to devour you whole.

“THE DOOR!” he shouted, pointing again.

you turned around, agonisingly slow. what a predicament to be in. he wanted you to open it? or keep it closed? you think you know the answer deep down, but then again, you did warn him, and he willingly chose not to heed it.

“oh don’t worry, sir,” you said, walking over to the door and holding the lock. his eyes widen in.. fear?.. when you switch it. “it’s already locked now. you were saying?”

you seemed to have pissed shadis off to the point where he was now stomping towards you, and each clash of his boot against the wooden floor was only a count down to the distance being closed between you two.

he’s going to ki-

ah fuck!

shadis, now positively fuming, did not hesitate to grab at your hair, pulling hard as he dragged you over to the door which he unlocked with his free hand, striding out and walking down the dimly lit corridors, seething.

“ow — okay, wow — ow!”

“quiet, scum!”

“okay, i would like this hair pulling thing in other circumstances, but you’re being really aggressive right now — ouch!”

in response, shadis simply pulled on your hair harder, and you could have sworn you felt him rip a few strands out. you sigh angrily as the two of you take an abrupt turn to the right, closing in on the mess hall.

“ow!” you hissed, holding onto the wrist that was attached to the hand gripping on to your hair for dear life. “ugh, i brushed through my hair this morning too! you’re gonna get it tangled, you know?”

shadis merely grunted. you were beginning to get irritated.

“never mind, you don’t know. you literally have no hair on your head,” you snapped, trying to free your poor hair from the older man’s clutches. “are you trying to rip it off and glue it on your scalp or something? it’s too — ow — tight! if you wanted me to donate hair to you, you should have just asked!”

and before you knew it, you found yourself being pushed on to the ground, knees scraping hard against the floor. you felt the fabric of your pants tear, and you winced as your hands took a nasty slap to the ground too. you exhaled heavily, looking over your shoulder to see where the bald bastard that did this to you was.

he was exactly where you expected him to be, but in a position you had not expected him to be in: doubled over with his hands gripping on to his kneecaps, sweat beading at his lined forehead, exhaling and coughing uncontrollably. damn, did your fart stink that badly?

why was he being so dramatic? it was literally a bit of bad gas, did he expect you to hold it in? there was absolutely no way you were going to do that, especially not when your mother had warned you about how unhealthy that was. you would be extremely foolish to just ignore her advice; knowing this, you did not regret how all this played out.

a faint cough was heard from beside you, and as you turned so you were sitting on your bottom, held up by your elbows, you looked up to see your fellow comrades, all watching you with wide eyes, some snickering and some looking confused, others looking as though this was long time coming.

you weren’t given the chance to wave or say hi to them, because shadis had cruelly snatched that opportunity away from you, exploding at you in a way that everyone (as well as you) were not used to. if you had him pissed before, he was indignant now, eyes white with rage. shadis looked as though he had aged a hundred times faster, glaring daggers at you. now if looks could kill..

“NEVER, IN MY —”

you shut your eyes, blocking out the cursing because you were still a child.

“— YEARS OF BEING IN THIS —”

you censored it again.

“— PLACE, HAVE I EVER MET SUCH A —”

you opened your eyes, but shut them immediately when you took sight of his face.

“— GIRL, WHO HAS BOTHERED ME TO THE POINT WHERE I’VE HAD TO ENDURE SUCH A —”

well now that was just rude.

“— STENCH LEAVE YOUR USELESS, DIRTY ASS —”

and then you found yourself smiling. why? you didn’t know either, but the way he was yelling at you was rather amusing, with his face twisting in ways you never thought could be even possible..

oh shit.

he caught on.

his eyelids were now completely out of sight, a small twitch in his left eye could be seen from where you were laying. your amazing art of rendering people speechless once more had begun again; a sense of pride swelled inside your chest like fairy dust in an old wives’ tale.

“why,” he began lowly, dangerously, calmly, “are you smiling?”

well you were honest all the way up until this point. what was the use in lying? you know you’ll end up in the stables either way. might as well own it.

“why aren’t you shouting?” you replied innocently. and it wasn’t an act, you did sound innocent the way you posed the question, and you weren’t guilty at all.

commandant shadis inhaled through his nose as if testing to see whether the air was fresh enough for him to breathe in - you didn’t blame him, because your previous gas releasing act must have traumatised him.

a vein was now protruding at his forehead, begging to burst through. he opened his mouth once more but you hurriedly raised a finger at him to halt.

“careful, i like it when people shout at me.”

it wasn’t silent anymore. you could hear gasps, whispers and murmurs surround you. you even heard a faint ‘oh god’ and a grumble of ‘are we really that surprised?’ from somebody too.

the air was thick, now. you felt hot. you had never had the unfortunate event of ever feeling embarrassed but you just revealed a very bad kink to everyone, the people you will be training with for another couple of weeks before you part.

technically, you had previously blindly told people about your weird desires, but in front of every single person in the 104th? in front of your commandant? to your commandant? that was new.. and you knew you had taken it too far..

.. for the man was now struggling to take deep breaths, and wow, you know this will never die down. the eye twitch of his had increased significantly, his fists were clenched at his side, as was his jaw, and the lines on his forehead only became more and more prominent as his brows knitted together to move further down his face. the glare his dark eyes had on you did not force you to waver, but the small smile your own face had claimed had dropped ever so slightly. you wondered whether the face at the back of his head was angry, too.

now a string of curses were leaving his mouth, threats of laps until your heart stops beating were given, and the strides to grip you by your arm had begun. at least he’s not after my hair this time, you thought, sighing as he pulled you up, his blunt nails digging in to the fabric of your jacket and no doubt leaving half moon crescents in to your smooth skin.

you remained stubborn, trying to keep your body as heavy as stone to stall for time, your eyes scanning each face frantically to look for the two people you needed most. at last, after passing over many, many people (including connie, who was struggling to breathe with laughter, sasha, who had taken this as a disturbance and used it as a master plan to steal food off of her friend’s plate, reiner, who was now sweating due to god-knows-what, conflicted again, probably) you found them: jean and marco, both sitting together at your usual table.

you noticed how there was an extra plate across from them, filled with food and by your usual seat. the sweethearts had loyally saved your place.

when jean caught your eye, his face remained expressionless and bored, giving you a ‘seriously?’ kind of look. marco was watching carefully, and every time you made eye contact, he looked away, bashful.

“jean!” you called out over shadis’s loud cursing. all eyes turned to him, but jean did not change his expression in the slightest. “help me — ow!”

your friend watched as you struggled.

“i’m not getting you out of this one,” he told you, your heart dropping at the betrayal.

you thought you had heard him wrong, perhaps it was the fact that shadis was quite literally screaming in your ear that you missed what jean had actually said, so you repeated yourself desperately.

“jean — come on — ouch, can you stop pinching me!”

this time, jean did not respond.

your worries were put to a momentary end when jean stood up. key word: momentary.

he stood up, to help you.. you felt elated, making a mental note to drop the teasing about his small crush on mikasa, only to find yourself confused.. and disappointed at last. he wasn’t going near you at all. he had walked around the table, took what was meant to be your plate, and passed it to sasha, who hungrily took it with no hesitation.

“she won’t be coming back anyway.”

your gaze hardened, face becoming stony as you glared at your friend. when i’m out of this man’s grip, you threatened in your head, just you wait.

so fine, if he wouldn’t help you, then your more loyal friend would. you averted your gaze to marco, who was shaking his head slowly at that human horse’s actions. trust marco to lecture him about this, thank the walls.

“marco!” you called out as a final resort.

what happened next must have been a dream, for marco acted as though he had not heard you. fair enough, perhaps shadis’s voice was ringing in not only your ears, but everyone’s. you’ll call him again.

“marco!” you repeated.

he looked up. finally.

but the kind features on his face, that welcoming look he usually always had diminished instantly, as if it was never his to begin with. he looked down at his half empty plate, poking at his potato.

“yeah.. erm.. i don’t know who she is,” he said, and connie’s laughter only increased at that.

wow.

marco was pretending that you guys weren’t friends, acting as though you didn’t train together nearly every day, faking the fact that you would spend nights picking on jean together (well, that was mostly you, but he was a witness). marco was betraying you too.

you take every word you thought about marco back. he wasn’t an angel, he was a manipulative bitch.

helpless, you felt yourself finally fall limp in shadis’s grip, being dragged away to your doom (which, you notice, is the pathway to the stables).

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

“okay you don’t need to hold me, i can walk!” you protested sharply, shaking your arm firmly out of commandant shadis’s iron grip.

he was not impressed, and said absolutely nothing as he dug his nails in to your arm to drag you across the training field.

the heat of the sun was only just beating down on you, covering your once-cool-neck in droplets of sweat. your head felt hot and you knew that if you laid a hand on it, you’d just fry your palm; it did not feel pleasant at all. your feet were only dragging along the grass, you were trying to plant them in to the floor in (what you thought was) a sly attempt to lengthen the journey to the stables where you knew you’d be spending all day in, cleaning horse shit.

“move,” grunted shadis under his breath.

“would it kill you to ask nicely?” you grumbled back, quickly growing irritated with the situation.

“i’m not asking,” responded shadis, teeth gritted, “and the last time i tried being nice, i ended up inhaling a form of gas i shouldn’t have.”

“but —”

“god, have some self control,” sighed shadis exasperatedly, pushing you along.

“hey, now that i think about it,” you began, ignoring the way the man so rudely sighed (and he was exaggerating too), “you didn’t react nearly as badly as you did with sasha when she farted —”

“because i didn’t fall victim to it,” he answered, as the stables where the horses were kept grew closer and closer with each step. “it was probably you anyway.”

should i be offended or proud? you thought to yourself idly, as the sun smiled down maliciously at you.

small beads of sweat were now making themselves comfy on your soft skin; it did not help that the man’s grip on you never faltered once, and this act alone caused your attempt at breaking free to flee. he was breathing down your neck, harsh breaths through his nose that only added to the ridiculous heat of today. you looked around, eyeing the colossal trees as the wind playfully ruffled their leaves, the sound of nature blissfully meeting your ears in a bird song.

the area around you was growing darker as you were forced to march upon the grass, protected by the shadow of the same trees you were gazing at only moments ago. the coolness of the shade as the sunlight fell away was refreshing, like a bottle of ice cold water after training till your legs cramped up and your knees gave in. but something was off, you realised, as you stared up at the sky (a ridiculous decision seeing as the sun was not playing hide and seek with the clouds as it used to do). you were blinded momentarily, spots of green, blue and yellow clouding your vision wherever you looked.

despite this, however, your ears took charge, just as sharp when a twig snapped by the woods. you looked over your shoulder - ignoring the commandant’s grumbling - and foolishly looked around as if the spots weren’t preventing you from seeing much. there was something by the trees, you concluded wisely, brain working like commander erwin’s (well you assumed it did, because that man always looked like he was plotting some complicated shit).

it couldn’t be the cadets because they were all either in the mess hall, or their rooms. some were walking around the training field you had only just been dragged across, and the woods were out of bounds unless it was odm training season.

and then you saw it.

‘it’, because you didn’t know what it was.

a swift movement, so fast, you knew your eyes with normal vision wouldn’t have been able to comprehend it. a movement so agile, even mikasa on full speed gas wouldn’t have been able to compete with it (maybe a close call, but definitely not close enough to beat it). a movement so rapid, you might have even imagined it. a movement that was.. green?

and then there was nothing.

you shrugged it off for more than one reason: as the wooden, dented doors to the stables approached closer than ever, you didn’t hear a thing again. your normal vision was back again, so if must have been the colours that messed with your head. besides, it wasn’t unusual to hear things by the woods, like a twig snapping or the casual crunching of leaves that had fallen from the end of a tree trunk.

you swallowed down the dreadful feeling you were beginning to get - not because of the sight you thought you’d seen earlier, but because you were now forced to clean up horse poo because of the simple fact that you had passed gas.

it didn’t even bother you that the entirety of the 104th know this absurd fact. what bothered you was that you were now at the punishment everyone strived to avoid. even laps till sundown felt more appealing to do than this.

so as you (at last) finally reached the doors of the stables, pushed forward by your shoulders as you scrambled to regain your balance, you turned around to foolishly make a compromise.

“c’mon, commandant, you know i don’t have to do this,” you tried, wincing at the glare he was now sending you.

“my decision is final,” he grunted harshly, “never been more sure in my life.”

he made a small movement to turn.

“wait, wait!” you tried again loudly, swallowing a load of nothing as he side eyed you menacingly. perhaps now wasn’t the best time to piss him off even more.. so, sighing, you shake your head, a frown appearing on your face. “nothing.”

“thought so,” grunted shadis, turning his head the other way in a matter-of-fact type of manner. “up to it, cadet.”

unintentionally, you mimicked him silently, scrunching your face up and shaking your head in an exaggerative manner, mouthing the last four words he had just uttered to you. unfortunately, this did not bring you as much amusement as you wished it had, because he wasn’t even looking in your direction: he was walking away, or.. stomping away, rather. men are such drama queens, aren’t they?

you sighed, reluctantly turning on the spot and gazing up at your new home. it was very unlikely you’d spend any time training seeing as shadis seemed to have been final with his decision. usually, when he was really pissed off, you’d miss an hour of training to clean the mess hall, so it was only safe to assume that you would spend all your time with horse shit from now on. how.. eventful.

sourly, you began unlocking the wooden doors to your doom, pulling at the old-fashioned lock as you accepted your fate, frowning all the while. what had shocked you, however, was your name being called by the very man who had banished you to this very spot you wanted so desperately to leave. eager for anything to increase more time between you and the cleaning of horse poop, you swivelled on the spot, hissing inwardly as your exposed knee (curtesy of the commandant himself) scratched against the tree directly beside you. perhaps your excitement was a little too much, and could render you benched even after your punishment if you continued like this.

“yes sir?” you answered back, unsure of whether you should salute or not. perhaps not, just out of spite.

“you don’t have watchful eyes or ears, but unfortunately for me, you’re the only one i can ask as of now,” began commandant shadis, looking straight through you (quite literally, because his glare was that piercing and fierce).

you lifted your chin in questioning. curiosity engulfed your body whole, and the stinging sensation in your knee was only worsening, but you waited silently, patiently as the commandant continued.

“did you spot any movement in the woods, west side?”

you could practically fly with glee, no gear needed for the impossible. ‘yes, yes, yes i did,’ you were almost quick to answer, but then that would shorten the conversation and you’d be back to completing your very unhygienic task.

“when we were walking over here,” you confirmed honestly, trying your hardest to prevent your voice from cracking from the exhilaration you were currently feeling. “i saw movement.”

“i am going crazy then,” sighed shadis, shaking his head.

“why would you say that?” you asked, with genuine curiosity.

“because you said it.”

you frowned at him, realising what he had just said.

“bold of you to assume only this makes you crazy,” you accidentally spilled out. the realisation of what you had said caused your eyes to widen and your interest in the bland trees beside you to increase, so you turned on the spot, eyeing them in order to avoid eye contact with the commandant. even doing so, you could feel his glare burning holes in to the side of your cheek, so reluctantly, you looked back.

shit, he’s still staring.

look away..

okay look back now, should be done.

never mind, he’s persistent as fuck.

you mentally groaned before shakily pointing to the home of the horses behind you.

“i’ll just — er — yeah,” you stammered out, hastily turning away before he could say anything more.

this was going to be a long day.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

“stop it!” you sobbed, slamming your hands down on the hay as the midnight coloured horse in front of you looked down at you and snorted.

it had only been five minutes and you were a weeping wreck. now you understood why people avoided pissing shadis off, but in your defence, the last five minutes felt like five long and dawdling centuries doing the repetitive action of cleaning, only to then find that these beautiful (but stupid) horses have smeared their faeces over the wooden walls for you to clean again. sue me for crying, you thought frustratedly, using your sleeve to wipe away the fat tears gliding down your cheek in such an elegant manner.

really and truly, this was all erwin’s fault. you were going to lecture him when you find him, although you wouldn’t be too surprised if he attempted to avoid you from now on (that’s a lie, you’d be offended and shocked that your partner-in-crime decided to even think of such a thing).

you could hear faint voices outside - curtesy of the door being left slightly ajar to allow sunlight inside, lord knows what could pop out in the dark thanks to jean’s spooky story-telling that you stubbornly said were, indeed, not frightening at all - and it seemed to be the only thing that could pique your interest in this very moment. the horses were beginning to get on your nerves anyway, especially the one with the darkest fur, that one looked as though it were mocking your crisis. you threw the wet rag on to the floor and slowly rose from your kneeling position, grimacing after surpassing the most recent poo smeared over the walls; you listened intently.

the first voice you recognised almost immediately was shadis’s, gruff and deep, and with a slight hint of amusement? now that definitely hooked you in like a kid to sugar. who in wall rose was chatting up the untouchable commandant of the training corps? that man was picky, you could tell, and he was definitely not the easiest to please.

a tingling sensation ran up your spine, one so intriguing, you hand immediately flew to your face, rubbing away the excess salty water from mere seconds ago. what if it was a woman?

being part of the training corps was fun, sure, but it had been a long while since there was some juicy gossip around here. the only thing you had been latching on to was the love triangle that was jean, eren, and mikasa, and even that was bland, seeing as jean was clearly the third-wheeler. you found yourself beginning to carefully walk over, making sure the hay beneath you made as little noise as ever. this was news, just imagine the look on marco’s face when you tell hi—

marco.

marco that butt.

it hurts to think of him after that brutal betrayal.

it’s okay, because jean would most definitely find interest in —

jean.

jean that horse.

it hurts much worse to think of him after he monotonously handed your plate of bland food over to someone else directly in front of you.

their loss, you had concluded, as you grew nearer and nearer to the gap between the door. you still wanted to know who commandant shadis was so smitten by, regardless of whether you had marco and jean to tell or not. maybe this would be the information that could cover up your little.. incident.. that everyone was now aware of. you could practically hear their laughter ringing in your ears even now.

your plan was almost completely put to ruins when the other horses began neighing. you whipped your head back in obvious annoyance, surprised your neck hadn’t snapped right there and then.

“shush!” you hushed them, brows knitting together in contained fury. “go smear your shit somewhere.”

oh, well that was hypocritical.

you were now abruptly reminded of how shadis always wanted the opposite action from you, and when you did it, he would backtrack and say he wanted the first one. the same case has been used here with these horses, and you could even swear that the midnight one was sending you a look that said ‘look at this hypocrisy’.

before you could even begin to apologise to the poor horses you had scolded prior to this, you caught on to the second voice, presumably the one that you had supposed was shadis’s secret lover. but.. this voice was deep - muffled, yes - but deep. or maybe you were hearing it wrong, perhaps there was a much larger distance between you and them, perhaps the voices were more muffled than you thought, perhaps that was why this supposed ‘woman’ sounded more like a man. however, it’s true that many women could have deep voices too, so maybe that was it. maybe he was with a woman with a deep voice. or maybe he was with a man instead? who’s to say that the commandant wasn’t attracted to men?

you waved your hand frantically at the horses on the right that were making way too much noise, noise that was blocking out what you could hear of the conversation between shadis and his lover.

your pushed your head ever so slightly between the door and its frame, in to the gap and exposed to the sunlight. your eyes burned and watered, for you had been sheltered in the dark for more than five minutes, your eyes needed to adjust. blinking rapidly, as the pair’s conversation continued, your turned your head in the direction of their voices. the problem was, however, that you couldn’t see them anywhere. all around you was grass, trees, and the building further down where the rest of your fellow cadets were inside, no doubt eating the leftovers that were meant for you.

exhaling frustratedly to relieve yourself of the thought of the traitors, you squinted your eyes to get a better view ahead. they were still talking, and this time (now that you were fully concentrated) you could make out almost every single word..

as well as who the voices belonged to.

and that was including the second, manly voice.

one that you had presumed you would have had to wait to hear for at least a couple of weeks, after the faction selection part had occurred, so why were you hearing it now?

gripping on to the door frame so tight your knuckles turned pale, you leaned forward, one leg out in the open, half your head in view. eyes darting left and right, the minute the next sentence was uttered, you found them. they were standing near a tree farther to the left of the stables, conversing with each other about the 104th, and your suspicions were proven to be correct.

his stature could be recognised from miles away, different from any other male here in the training corps (along with the fact that he was wearing a cape with the wings of freedom etched beautifully on his back). your breath hitched in your throat, and abruptly, your back slammed against the wooden walls, knees buckling as he spoke once more. it was really him. captain levi was here, within a few metre range from you. but then that struck up the question. what the hell was captain levi doing here? it’s only weeks before the faction selection part would happen, why was he here so early?

as nosy as you were, you concluded that perhaps you would find out why he was here if you eavesdropped. you could almost sing, this was far better than sitting in the mess hall and eating. jean could give away anything of yours at this point, and you wouldn’t even bat an eye.

“many of the squirms are under the stupid impression that being part of the scout regiment is lightweight,” you heard the commandant’s gruff voice say. well, he wasn’t wrong.

“you mean to tell me that this years’ cadets have no backbone?” the captain responded, sounding as though he had almost expected this to happen.

your heart began hammering against your chest with such ferocity, you could swear it to be possible if it jumped out of your chest right there and then. you were going absolutely feral at the sound of his dulcet tones, and because of this, you were now promptly reminded of how this had never happened to you because of anyone else. how had a man you had only known for less than a week danced his way in to your heart?

you peaked your head out again. no, you concluded, he didn’t look much like a dancer to be fair.

suddenly, shadis’ head turned. your eyes widened.

you disappeared out of sight almost instantly. shit, shit, shit, you had thought all the while.

had he seen you? was he now under the impression that you were, in fact, not cleaning like you were ordered to? was he now walking over this way? what now?

your panic was put to rest the second you heard the conversation continue. perhaps he was just looking around, like any normal person would.

well that didn’t sound right. because you knew him very well, and you knew that shadis was anything but normal. at the same time, however, neither were you.

“no,” grunted shadis, and despite not being able to get a view of him, you could practically see the deep frown painted over his face, “there are a few that have potential. fat egos, but a lot of potential..”

there was a short pause before the conversation continued. even from this distance, you could hear the exasperated sigh he let out.

“why do you look like that?”

“like what?”

“like you’re constipated.”

you almost laughed, slapping a hand over your mouth to prevent anything from slipping past your smooth lips. the thing is, if you began laughing, there was no stopping. not only that, but it was loud too, and that would expose your undercover mission of eavesdropping on your two superiors, something you could not afford if you ever stood a chance with captain levi.

however, as soon as the amusement came, it went. your mouth, turned up with contained laughter, flipped itself upside down with a frown. you could feel the crease between your eyebrows beginning to form as the realisation began setting in: commandant shadis was having a conversation with his lover, right? and this conversation - which just so happened to be with captain levi - was almost flirtatious. the blood beneath your skin began to simmer on low heat, but all you could see was red. teeth gritted, it took all your sane thoughts to keep you rooted to the spot, to prevent revealing yourself and the state you were in, but that did not stop the murderous thoughts plaguing your mind like a disease deadlier than anything the people in the wall encountered.

commandant shadis was conversing in a flirtatious conversation with your beloved. he was shamelessly talking with someone who just so happened to be your husband. you felt like jean, who lost his crush to his competition, and yours just so happened to be with the very man who had ordered you to clean until your hands became calloused.

and suddenly it all clicked.

he had done this to prevent you from intervening with the captain, because he knew that once your appeared back in to the picture, the captain would wriggle his way out of the commandant’s iron grip to fall straight in to yours.. yours which were much, much gentler and lovelier.

teeth gritted, with your tongue glued to the roof of your mouth, you fumed silently, listening in. if it’s a competition commandant shadis wants, it’s a competition that he’ll get, you maliciously thought to yourself.

“there’s a cadet here who’s intent on joining the scouts. lots of potential, but will give you a headache with whatever she does - that sharp tongue of hers.”

“that drive will get her nowhere but dead on an expedition.”

“i’d be surprised if she willingly went to an expedition,” snorted commandant shadis, and despite being unable to see him, you could practically see the glare he was sending to whomever he had the chance to.

who was this cadet that the superiors were talking about? one thing for sure was that it was a girl with extreme potential: annie leonhart? you shook your head dismissively; she was joining the military police brigade, and this was a well known fact since the day her and eren were sparring. perhaps you could send a message to nile dok through her, seeing as you were banned from giving it to him yourself (which is extremely unfair, you have to add).

no, it was most definitely not annie. however, there seemed to be a choice much better than annie, and that was the 104th’s current number one: mikasa ackerman.

mikasa was a girl, and very rarely had a tongue sharper than the very blades she uses to slice open those cardboard titan’s during odm training. when she did show us some of her wit, it was the type that was harsher than anything anyone has ever heard of (which made it all the more amusing to watch). eren had decided that he wanted to be part of the scouts, and you knew that wherever eren went, his friends would follow (that was including mikasa). not only that, but she’s stronger than everyone in the 104th, so if it’s potential shadis was commenting on, potential is exactly what mikasa has. still, the word ‘potential’ gives off the idea that she could do better, which contradicts mikasa greatly due to the fact that she could get no better than she already is: she’s number one for fucks sake. and you couldn’t ignore the fact that mikasa could never give any of the superiors headaches, not when she did everything perfectly first try without even intentionally showing off. the girl was brave as fuck, too, why would she surprise shadis if she willingly went to an expedition? she’d go to one without question.

so no, not mikasa.

but then that only makes room for one other person you could think of.. and you knew her very well, to be fair.

it was..

most definitely..

sasha braus!

she’d given the commandant a headache on the very first day, when everyone first enlisted in to the training corps. she’s a girl, she ranks number nine, which means that there is room for improvement as well as the fact that she’s headstrong too (showing definite potential). the only thing stopping you from considering the fact that she might be the right candidate for this topic is the idea that sasha was undecided, she had told you a mere week ago about how she wasn’t too sure what military branch she would go for and that she’d have to hurry up and make her mind. that did still show that there’s a possibility she might choose the scout regiment, you thought wisely, and if she did, there’s a chance that she might back out of an expedition..

yep, she was the best candidate, you decided, growing more intrigued as the conversation continued.

“the expeditions are a requirement. if she doesn’t go to them, what’s the damn point?”

“trust me when i say this, captain, she will find a way to escape ‘em if she has to.”

there was a silence that engulfed them completely, where all that could be heard were the chirping of the birds, the rustle of the tree leaves, and the faint sound of laughter from somewhere down the fields of grass. you didn’t even feel isolated from it anymore, you felt you would much rather be eavesdropping than joining in on whatever was happening in the mess hall (you’d be damned if it was about you, too).

“at least she’ll be out of my hands. good luck.”

“good luck?” repeated captain levi, as if the words were like poison to the mouth. and even then, with him sounding as though he’d rather be titan food than meet this cadet, his voice still remained as majestic as ever.

“three years,” you heard the commandant sigh, “three years of the same bullshit she spews up. this might be the first time you send someone back.”

“i’ll leave that to erwin,” captain levi responded. “it’s likely i’ll never meet whoever you’re talking about. not when we all have separate squads to lead.”

“oh you will hear about her,” riposted shadis swiftly. “whether you’re all the way in mitras and she’s all the way residing in wall rose. if she’s part of your regiment, you will most definitely hear about her. word of advice: assign her to stable duty, it’s the most peace and quiet you’ll ever get. i learned the hard way.”

your stomach flipped over itself. stable duty? but sasha has never been sent to clean the stables. nobody has. the only person who has, however, is..

“and this is supposed to be recent?”

“it’s right now, captain.”

you.

they were talking about you.

this entire time you had been under the impression that sasha was the person they were having a conversation about, but it was you the entire fucking time. it was you when shadis mentioned how intent you were on joining the scouts, it was you when he said that there was potential in this case, it was you when he exasperatedly told captain levi about the headaches you give him, it was you all along.

now you were completely blind with rage. everything around you was the shade of what you imagined commandant shadis’s blood to be: crimson and runny, because it was the topic of you that he was using to shamelessly flirt with captain levi.

flattered as you were about how only the topic of you was able to bring out a conversation between them, you were irked with the idea that he was trying to win the captain over by slandering your name without actually saying your name.

to make matters worse, that midnight dark horse was now breathing down your neck. you shivered under the hot wind from its nostrils as you took several steps back. expecting to collide with the wall you had previously leaned against, you lost your balance.

your stomach was now in your throat, eyes widening with the sudden realisation that there was nothing to grab on to, arms still searching despite being well aware of that fact. your legs tripped back over one another as you flew down, accepting your fate with a cold heart, eyes closing as you took the scores in your head, back callously meeting the hard concrete below you.

shadis - 1 : me - 0.

pain shot up your spine, your head pounding and a harsh breath leaving your mouth. you had been caught, you knew it, because over the chirps of the birds and the rustling of the leaves hanging on the tree branches, your brilliant ears caught on to the vague sound of a grunt, whether it be from the captain or the commandant, you had no clue.

but that didn’t matter to you, not nearly as much as the anger you felt towards that damned horse that blew you cover (excusing the fact that you would have stormed up to the flirty pair yourself anyway, but at least that entrance would have been way cooler than this harsh reveal). your head was pounding, you could feel the warm sun over your face, laughing at your foolishness; even in the darkness you had shut yourself up in (eyes being shut tight and all) bright spots of colours clouded your vision, pink and blue, green and orange. they began forming weird shapes, very weird, like sludges of mud when falling in to a puddle during training with jean and marc—

“on your feet, cadet!”

for fuck’s sake —

“i couldn’t even if i wanted to,” you responded, and had your eyes been opened, you would have seen the way in which the captain’s eyebrows rose up further in to his forehead at your response (and perhaps, your appearance, too?).

you dared yourself to open your eyes, but thought better of it. instead, you turned and laid on your side, the left side of your cheek resting against the hot grass. that brought you not comfort, you quickly noticed.

when you received no response from commandant shadis, you huffed, astonished with how he cared about formalities in your horrible situation.

“sir,” you uttered through gritted teeth, completing your sentence angrily.

perhaps you’d have been in a much better state if you were aware of the fact that captain levi was standing over you, but you were only aware of shadis, under the impression that the captain had better things to do than seeking out the clumsy cadet that landed right on her ass.

“a horrible impression you’re leaving for the captain of the regiment you’re dying to join, squirm.”

now that opened your eyes.

foolish, again, because the blinding light of the sun cause you to groan and bring your hands up to your face to turn on the spot and shut your eyes once more. hearing the snort from your commandant got your blood boiling under high heat, heat rising to your neck and tips of your ears as you scrambled to get on your feet, stumbling slightly as you saluted. it was important to note just who you were saluting at, because it was certainly not for keith shadis.

you opened your eyes, ignoring the sting of the light, because no sting would ever prevent you from seeing what you were blessed with now: captain levi was definitely sculpted to break the hearts of many, many girls.. with dark hair resembling his grey eyes, resembling a storm on a cold winter’s day. the deep frown that called his face home only complimented his features further, but only caused you to wonder just how stunning he’d look if he smiled.

a lightbulb switched on over your head. new task, you thought excitedly, make the captain smile.

you knew it wouldn’t be an easy task, for the captain must have adopted this lack of emotion for good reason, maybe because of all the things he had seen in his time with the scouts. however, you were determined to bring him some form of happiness, however long it took. besides, it couldn’t be too hard. you had a very good streak with rendering people speechless and causing them to have their bellies aching from loud laughter.

but where you looked at him with eyes sparkling in delight, he looked back at you with half-lidded ones, unamused.

okay, so it was definitely going to be hard to get on his good side. what a brilliant first impression.

“a future scout, huh?” were the first four words that captain levi had ever spoken to you, and god did it have you absolutely spiralling. still, you refused to make it obvious that you were sending heart eyes at him (at least, in front of the commandant. in private it may be a different scenario).

“she wanted to be part of the garrisons first,” your new enemy, keith shadis, intervened. “had a change of heart, it seems.”

“no i never,” you lied, thinking of how captain levi may never want to be with someone who considered a regiment different to his to begin with. keith shadis is playing a good game, you thought, panicked. he was definitely making you get on the captain’s bad side so he could then win him over, but you saw right through him. “i’ve always wanted to be a scout.”

the commandant’s left eye twitched.

that’s right, you thought maliciously, i can play your game too.

he seemed to be taken aback with how you realised what he was doing. a voice at the back of your head was suggesting that maybe the commandant was surprised that you were lying about something you were so proud of, but you brushed it aside dismissively, almost one hundred percent certain it was because of how smart you were at how you easily figured out his feelings for the captain, wasting no time at all at that.

“lying to your superiors is another reason for me to send you back inside. just make sure you don’t fall on your ass again,” said keith shadis, almost as though it were a threat.

“i’m not lying,” you retorted stubbornly.

“would cadets kirstein and bott plead your case?”

now that startled you.

wow, you hadn’t realised how good of a game keith shadis could play. but of course he could, for the few days that you knew the captain for could not possibly compete with the many years he knew the captain for.

it’s okay, you convinced yourself calmly, because captain levi and i have more chemistry than him and captain levi do.

your eyes immediately met the captain’s, aware that if there was any sort of chemistry, you’d be making out in front of your competition right now.

whatever. it’s a couple’s thing, you concluded.

right now you had to deal with the man who was knowingly trying to steal your husband.

“i have no idea who you’re talking about,” your answered wisely. “but you could always ask sasha.”

now there was a very good reason why you suggested her, because in favour of this, you would offer her your dinner without question. there were many times you had sasha backing you for trouble you’ve caused, because food was the only thing you had to offer that she would blindly accept. thank god for sasha braus.

keith shadis clasped his hands behind his back, straightening himself up as he glared at you. good, you were slowly winning.

“indecisive about the regiments,” said keith lowly, “that won’t make a good scout.”

“you’d be surprised,” the captain intervened swiftly, eyes unlacing from your smaller figure, “even the incompetent turn out to survive the longest.”

despite your face proving silent surprise, your insides were celebrating, mind reeling at the thought that captain levi had sided with you. you smugly turned your head just the slightest bit to eye keith shadis, who was still glaring at you.

you retook the points in your head.

keith - 1: me - 1.

“what are you grinning about?” demanded captain levi, who was now staring straight through your soul with a piercing gaze.

you frowned ever so slightly. he really looked as though he were sculpted with such elegance even when he was glaring. the only thing you found slightly wrong was how he was choosing to glare at you rather than the home-wrecker next to him.

“so all it took was the captain of the scout regiment to wipe that smirk off your face, huh?” snorted keith, your arch nemesis. “if i’d known that earlier, i’d have done it three years ago.”

“yeah, well, no one asked.”

silence.

complete and utter silence.

a calm before the storm, really, where shadis and captain levi both watched you: shadis’ breath beginning to be heaved out of his nose and captain levi’s face forming an expression of mild surprise. and you, however, remained rooted to your spot, no regret eating at your insides like they usually would when you would sense an incoming earful from your commandant. perhaps it was because of the fact that you knew keith shadis was after your husband that made you bolder than you’d ever been in your life, but whatever it really was, you thanked it endlessly as without it, you’d have already ran back inside to clean without question.

“i wasn’t aware that i needed permission from a trainee to speak,” keith spat out with venom, callously reminding you that yes, indeed, you were much lower ranking in comparison to him.

you narrowed your eyes at your superior, who clearly knew exactly what he was doing.

“i’m graduating in a matter of a couple of weeks,” you reminded him, and because he knew you so well, he could hear the smugness in your voice that, perhaps, captain levi could not. “and when i’m part of the scouts, you can’t boss me around anymore, keith.”

his eye twitched.

oh fuck.

not a good sign..

but i’m not scared?

why am i not scared?

“what did you just call me?” questioned the commandant, looking just as shocked as he had once been when sasha had offered him half of her potato.

you raised a brow.

“your name?” you answered, allowing it to sound more like a question than it did a statement. “you’re really confusing you know. did you forget your own na—”

“I KNOW MY OWN NAME, CADET, BUT IT SEEMS AS THOUGH YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOURS!” he bellowed, so unexpectedly, your had to take a step back to allow the ringing in your ears to stop.

as you rubbed your right ear and stared at him through knitted brows, you did not stop to mention how wrong he was.

“what’re you talking about? i know my name. it’s y/n —”

“he meant your position,” interrupted captain levi, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. he stood there, looking up at shadis with disappointment. “you’ve lost your control, old man. last year’s cadets weren’t nearly as brave as this single one. mind telling me what happened?”

this was your cue, you decided proudly. taking a sheepish step back, you intervened.

“i can.”

both eyes shifted straight back to you. where the commandant was looking thoroughly exasperated, the captain was looking annoyed, with something else hiding behind his cold exterior of blandness.. it looked like he was almost intrigued? or had you read the lines wrong again..?

“but before i begin on that, i want to let you know, kei— i mean, commandant shadis, sir, that jean told me to do it.”

“jean?” repeated commandant shadis, with an air of confusion.

you nodded.

“jean,” you confirmed matter-of-factly. “he told me to call you keith. and as for why keith has been slacking, captain,” you added, turning to captain levi, “he —”

“get back to work, cadet,” sighed captain levi, rolling his eyes before you could even finish your sentence. “inside the stables. now.”

you nodded without hesitation, rushing back inside with butterflies in your stomach. as you slowly closed the wooden door separating yourself and your superiors, the little light left in the stables diminishing the more you pushed the wood, your back immediately met the wall, sliding down in amazement as you drowned yourself in your thoughts.

looking at him up close was a gift sent from god-knows-who, but you thanked them nonetheless. the idea that captain levi sent you back inside because he was siding with you and not keith made your insides dance with joy, the giddy feeling rushing back to you faster than mikasa on odm. you retook the points in your head one last time, before cleaning the poo with a new, positive mindset:

(captain levi’s wife) y/n - 2: (ugly, bald, home-wrecker) keith - 1

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

he felt bad.

he knew he shouldn’t, a new situation with you and the commandant arose nearly every week, he dares say every day, even, and every damn time, you tried to use him or marco as an escape plan.

to be fair, it wasn’t really his fault that he refused again. besides, what could he have done? attack the commandant, grab you, and run? risk his position as the current number six?

you, obviously, would say ‘yes! what’s wrong with that?’ and then give him a good smack round the back of his head as punishment so he knew for next time, but still, jean felt just the tiniest bit bad for refusing you.

even though he shouldn’t. that was very important to note. he should. not. feel. bad.

yet he did.

and then he felt worse when word got around that you were dragged to the stables. nobody ever pissed shadis off that much to end up there. but of course, you did. you just had to.

jean was currently leaving the boys’ barracks, slyly attempting to see if you had made it round to the next set of training exercises. the window just past the door to commandant shadis’ office was large enough to see every bit of grass that people were training on. he grimaced when he caught sight of annie tackling eren with little effort. that girl was dangerous.

“kirstein,” came a gruff voice from just down his neck, where heavy breaths were being laid.

jean froze up, every muscle in his body becoming tense and tight, like a knot difficult to untie. he turned on the spot and knowingly saluted, aware of all the mistakes you usually made in the presence of the commandant so that he (cleverly) never made any.

“sir!” he voiced firmly, heat now flying all around his body, hiding specifically under his pits where sweat was beginning to form. what was he so nervous about? he had done nothing wrong.

the commandant did not fail to notice this.

“you look like you’re causing mischief, maggot,” he stated as though it were a definite fact. “and scared shitless you’ll be caught. perfect for titan meal.”

what?

what the fuck does that even mean?

“i plan on joining the military police.. sir,” jean dared to reply.

commandant shadis snorted.

what do i do? thought jean, panicked. do i laugh? agree? what the fuck is happening right now?

“cadet l/n won’t be impressed.”

“she isn’t,” said jean hastily, guilt circling his stomach. “sir.”

“i was always under the impression that she got herself in to trouble because she didn’t know how to control herself,” began commandant shadis, as if telling a life story. jean listened intently. “part of that is true, do not get that mistaken. i learned today.”

jean held his breath.

“but you know what she did when i spoke to her?”

jean shook his head shakily. “what did she say.. sir?”

the commandant raised his brow. “so you know it’s what she said and not what she did, huh?”

“i —” stammered jean, confused. “i don’t under—”

“she said something, you know. to me. how did you know?”

“i didn’t..” jean answered, shaking with nerves. shit, sound real. “i just know her really well, sir.”

“that well, huh?” marvelled the commandant. “any idea what she said?”

jean laughed dryly. “probably something stupid, right? sir?”

“she called me keith.”

oh fuck.

oh shit.

what the fuck y/n?

jean found himself holding his breath, and something was tickling his nose like a feather, daring him to laugh. he wanted to laugh. he wanted to joke about this all day and night. he wanted to turn around and wallow in laughter. but he couldn’t, not with the commandant watching his every move through narrowed eyes.

he sucked in a load of air and kept them inside his cheeks. perhaps he could play this off as being annoyed at your antics.

“you find this funny, eh?”

“no, sir,” he responded, breathing out a little of the air he had sucked in. “not at all, sir.”

“i would assume that the very person who told her to do it would find it amusing, kirstein.”

now that stopped him from laughing.

he ran the commandant’s words through his head one more time.

i would assume that the very person who told her to do it would find it amusing, kirstein.

hang on a second, jean thought in a panic, but before he could plead his innocence, commandant shadis’ hand flew up, grabbed at his ear, and jean was being dragged across the training field in a hurry.

as all eyes were on him, jean cursed you multiple times in his head. every inch of guilt he once felt now died out as if it was never there to begin with.

-

“fuck you, y/n.”

“you should be grateful!” you snapped, wiping your hands with a wet paper towel as you gestured to the horses surrounding you two. “i brought you home to your family!”

and as jean made eye contact with the horse that had managed to piss him off the most compared to the rest, he made a mental note never to cross you again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

geez, 2 months since the first chap 😭 i’m so sorry, i’ve just been really busy with exams and studying like mad bc good grades = good future, but in exchange, i’ve given you a chapter over 10k words, so like y/n said to jean, be grateful :)

anyways enjoy this while i take another month juggling writing + studies 😭 i wanna kms omds

all characters belong to hajime isayama, apart from y/n, who i've inserted in to the story myself.

previous chapter :) next chapter :)

tag list: (send an ask to be added)

@inkthgoat @loki1230 @leviackermanst @laccey

[bloomingdarkgarden]

can't do emojis on this thing but pen emoji and meh face emoji for the ask game :)

😐 What embarrasses you most about your own writing?

The amount of times I have used the word SOFT (like 9000x) oh well. It’s wildly appropriate for every sentence I write, it just happens.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

DARKGARDEN SNIPPET

“I am more sorry than you know,” Rhys raked a hand through his dark hair. “Particularly for suggesting a brothel.”

Azriel grinned slightly as he glanced out the far window.

"That might have been the worst part."

"I was an asshole."

Azriel shrugged, but did not disagree.

“I know what you were trying to protect. I won’t pretend I wouldn’t have done the same.”

“The line between my duty and my family,” Rhysand’s eyes gutted out, “is difficult to manage. I lost sight of what mattered most. My intention might have been founded, but the words were all wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean they didn’t need to be spoken,” Azriel said quietly.

“It also doesn’t mean they don’t warrant an apology.”

Azriel’s mouth curled upwards. “How long did Feyre have you sleeping at the townhouse?”

Rhys chuckled, shaking his head. “A week. How long did Elain stay angry?”

“A couple of hours.”

“How in bottomless depths of the Cauldron did you manage that?”

Azriel shrugged nonchalantly. “I took my shirt off and she forgave me.”

Rhys leaned back, laughing heartily. “Noted for next time.” His brow furrowed through his laughter. “They’re rather a unit now, the three of them. We ought to bring Cass in and discuss long term strategy.”

A half grin formed on the shadowsinger’s mouth.

The High Lord idly stared out the window. “Quite honestly, I’m beginning to believe Elain is more frightening than the other two.”

Azriel’s face was an unreadable fortress. “That is because she is.”

Rhys loosened another laugh. His features softened, swimming in the memory of that day, long ago. “She fought for you, Az,” he remarked.

“She fought like hell, and we all walked away different people after seeing it.”

“She’s remarkable that way,” Azriel’s voice was quiet. “I’m just the sorry bastard who fell in love with her for it.”

Rhysand swallowed, willing some unspoken understanding into his gaze.

“I could never ask for anything more for you, brother.”

The shadowsinger’s gaze shuttered at the words.

“Regardless, Elain is right,” Rhys continued gently. “You have served this court unfailingly. But at your own expense. It is my doing. And I'm sorry it took this level of catastrophe to realize.”

Azriel’s eyes flickered to the High Lord’s.

“I have chosen to serve you, Rhys. To fight for our home. And the family we have found within it.”

“Perhaps,” Rhys murmured. “But you've fought too long, too hard, and at far too great a risk.”

A long moment of silence passed.

“I've never had anything to lose.”

The words were too hushed, too honest.

Rhysand's violet gaze tightened as the truth resonated off the walls. A gentle, silent sort of comfort had him gripping Azriel's shoulder a moment later, meeting his brother’s eyes directly.

"Well you certainly do now."

[the-ghost-king]

I spent about two hours on this over the past couple of days in total, and I'm sure I've missed a few things and I guarantee that some of my opinions will not be shared by others and that's okay. I'm comfortable with people adding on their own thoughts and feelings and continuing on a conversation if they wish to.

Before I truly begin: this book isn't bad, that doesn't mean it's good it just means it's not bad. I think this book is both wonderful and awful, this book is both exactly what I expected and unlike anything I could have come up with. I will also clarify before you read this that I have never personally enjoyed any of Oshiro's work I've read, if you're someone who enjoys Oshiro's body of work there may be many places you disagree with me and I would like to note that ahead of time. I would also like to note that these are simply my initial thoughts, I finished TSATS two days ago and I have done some thinking and pondering over it since and these are the conclusions I have reached in that time. I cannot say how much of this I will agree with in a week, or a month, let alone three, or a year. I considered writing an essay and then decided a bullet point list would be sufficient, there is no order to these bullet points and some conversation points move in a circular way, I did not proofread this either. Also be aware there will be spoilers. Without further ado, my thoughts:

- Hades is weirdly ooc plus having him be responsible for this and him knowingly harming Nico and Nico just being like "oh ok i understand" undoes so much of the relationship progression from Pjo to BoO to ToA to here!!! Hades is still a god yes but he was becoming something of a father figure to Nico as well again and he just throws that all away because Nyx and Bob were "being annoying" and Nico is just… fine with that??? And they just jokingly brush the whole Hades loved more Bianca thing under the rug WITH MARIA RIGHT THERE

- Why are we reintroduced to Persephone like she's a new character? Sure it's from Will's pov and they've never met but the readers have met Persephone multiple times before!! It was weird to reintroduce her!!

- Worst editor ever, a few typos and apparently some copies have Nico saying his mother is Bianca? He also calls his mom Maria instead of mom or mamma? And we've only ever heard nico call maria mamma before this point so him calling her mom is less weird than him calling her Maria but still off

- Will… still doesn't have a personality entirely and what personality he was given does not match the personality he has in ToA OR in BoO??

- Once again, I don't like Oshiro's pacing and you can tell how hands off Rick was with the whole thing - I've never personally been a fan of Oshiro's work and one of my top reasons has always been their terrible pacing. I will read a phenomenal paragraph and then spend the rest of the chapter struggling to find anything that feels worth my time, and while i felt within chapter there was a fair bit of consistency between different chapters there was not- i would read one chapter that read well and felt amazing and then the next 3 chapters would feel like useless side plot that served no purpose. Oshiro also really struggles to maintain tempo in their work imo.

- Characters defining their sexuality in explicit terminology or labeling isn't inherently wrong but its also not in line with what we've seen so far and while this could be a sign of progress it could also be a step back so instead it's best to consider how this effects or determines characterization

- Nico's coming out party…. God… why?

- There's also this weird thing with so much of the sexuality/gender stuff that it feels more like a lecture than an authentic experience, for me personally based on the flow of these conversations and the events and things i feel like it was done to make this more palatable for a cishet audience rather than to maintain and authentic experience??

- Anyhow the thing where Nico kind of makes Will come out in front of camp is giving me love simon flashbacks and i just have to say making someone come out to a large group or in public just to be with you is so so gross… there was no reason for this to be a plot point whatsoever imo, it feels really ooc and it does that really upsetting thing lots of ya books do where it tries to depict that in order to be authentically and "properly" queer one must be public in their grsm orientation which i think is a pretty harmful/hurtful idea overall but especially in media designed for preteens and teens who are more likely to be living in environments where coming out is unsafe

- None of the jokes land

- Literally they have the worst nicknames for everything. I liked the cringe otherwise, it did have young teen relationship vibes… but that was unforgivable to me personally but i guess other people liked this? To each their own!

- On that note! I've talked a lot about Solangelo being two sides of the same coin in terms of how their relationship works and while symbolism would have been nice straight up seeing Nico given a coin by will was also cringe and too far? Nico gave Will his ring, this thing that we've built up over the series to view as a representation of his grief and loss and his family and love and home and a culmination of Nico and Will gets nico… this coin he just seemingly had made that has almost no symbolic meaning beyond that? Nico's ring is basically a character unto itself, not only does giving a physical object and having Nico outright state the symbolism of it ruin the "show don't tell" logic of authoring it also feels hollow as the reader has no connection to this object like Nico's ring. There was no reason for this other than to make an equivalent exchange which is kind of a sucky way to weigh a relationship… it could have been better for Will to give nico something from his past as well and to have the piece come up in a memory or something OR for will and nico to have exchanged these gifts at some point on or just before their journey so the reader got to experience this connection as well

- Will's pov was kind of trash actually

- Why doesn't Will ever talk about finding Nico attractive?

- We never have it explained what exactly makes Nico a "star" ..? Like its constantly alluded to or even stated he is a star but we never actually get to see why

- Will never really "goes dark" the sniffles are not dark, dark would be like straight up plaguing them or having some sort of ability to radiate heat and blast things or craft his own weapons out of light or just something beyond singing and having the heart blast effect thingy…

- Their relationship is stated they've been together a year and trauma can definitely change things but for whatever reason their relationship feels more new and raw and tender than it did in ToA??? Why??? They do not feel like two fifteen/sixteen year olds who have been in a relationship for a year, they feel like two thirteen year olds who've been in a relationship for three months?

- I also personally feel conflicted about them not having a major kiss scene? Like on one hand it's nice to see queer couples treated like any other couple and kisses to be fairly casual mundane interactions! But on the other hand being a queer couple especially an mlm couple in a children's/ya series and being able to show physical affection is really quite uncommon tbh and I would have liked to see maybe a little emphasis at least on the first kiss that the audience gets to experience on paper just to sort of acknowledge that groundbreaking act? But maybe that's just me?

- Additionally speaking all of their prior banter is just.. gone..? They literally don't joke around except for 2 or 3 lines in the book despite previously being a very banter heavy couple? There is no reason they can't be both soft and comedic or have banter yet be tender to one another? It's like all the joy that was previously in their relationship was traded for arguing and bickering and this weird pettiness that feels ooc in general but especially from them?

- What was the plot point of going to Sally's house to send the iris message? Why was Sally brought into this? She's cool and we love her but there was no plot reason to add her? Even the percabeth iris message only minimally added to the plot

- Why is Will so bothered by death? Like I'm cool with him feeling weak in the underworld. I can respect that from a tension building pov and also being in the dark does go against his nature but like death is not something against his nature? He is well acquainted with death? People die in medical settings all the time i guarantee he has lost many patients and brushed shoulders with thanatos more than most people at camp + he lost A TON of siblings in the war he would have to be familiar with grief AT THE VERY LEAST but yet he seems to lamblike to all these things the whole novel I feel it weakens his character, the story, the plot, previous books, and his relationship with Nico- if they wanted him to have some reserved hesitations about death they could have done it much more tactfully but they didn't?

- I also hate every time some sort of discussion about him being a healer comes up because yes he is a magical exception that makes him a "natural born healer" but they take that too far imo, yes he is a magical exception but the way this stuff is worded gives this like "Will is such a good healer he never fails or breaks down or fatigues from it" and i just feel like it becomes an unrealistic and unhealthy example after a certain point and I would have loved to see that exploration that so many fanfic authors have done wonderfully about how Will is overworked and needs to learn to take care of himself before his patients just to add that depth to his character but Oshiro and Riordan just skip past this and again it feels like a massively missed plot point to give Will a deeper character

- It's also weird everytime Nico is like "Will always takes care of me now I have to take care of him" because again it just feels like such an unhealthy way to view a relationship… like if a partner gets sick 3x a year and the other partner is sick 5x a year partner A shouldn't be like "well now you owe me two sickness helpings" or something you know? Thats so petty and immature and unhealthy for a relationship and it's something that can be unlearned but also like if they've been together a year and they're supposed to be like a perfect fit according to what i think the symbolism was trying to get at (so much of this book feels like a rough draft not a final cut istg) then why is this even included anyhow?

- Also Nico is ooc at points, he seeks to heal others a lot of the time as well- Hades even mentions this, how even when Nico is offered something for himself he uses the gift to help someone else- this is a quality Nico and Percy (and Jason) all really consistently display throughout pjoverse EXCEPT Nico doesn't do this early on in the text?? He is unfazed by the nature of some things in the underworld (Will is right the fields of asphodel are perhaps more horrific in some way than the variations of hell provided in the underworld) and Nico is just like "yeah that's just how it is here" which kind of goes against that character trait + (though i may be confusing fanfic and canon here) didn't Nico and Hazel have a whole convo about how upsetting or painful asphodel is?? It goes on kind of even more so in this regard though where his regard for humanity seems significantly less so than in previous texts, there's something else as well i can't exactly put my finger on yet that also feels ooc … I'll keep thinking lol

- Once again to the "why is Nico a star thing" we have Nico constantly talking about how live exists even in the underworld and it's obviously intended to be a metaphor for hope and finding light in the dark and therefore a whole solangelo metaphor too but Nico brings it up and Will doesnt understand and then they argue (?) And then the metaphor falls flat because we never get to see this explored; we just have it Stated out loud a few times? Like there are many good explanations as to why this keeps getting brought up especially because we can also tie in how Will and Nico are alive down there or how Nico is seperate from the rest of the underworld because despite being part god he is also part mortal

- Once again Tartarus isn't actually scary and there's only so much "it's for kids" I'm willing to accept there, give it more Coraline please!!

- Again an issue with the Nyx thing, Nico doesn't agree with Nyx about who he is because Nyx cannot understand life and Nico can because he is mortal- Nico's mortality is a hugely defining aspect of his character because it sets him apart from the gods and the dead that make up so much of his life- in order to truly appreciate death and the afterlife you have to actually live and know life and change and things and the gods in their consistency are more like ghosts than anything

- It's also very irritating that this was never explored !!! So much of what makes demigods special in the rest of the series is their godhood and their connection to godhood, they are powerful because they are beyond human. However in Nico's fight with Nyx and some other aspects of Nico's behavior but most notably Nyx vs Nico is the culmination of this situation is that Nico's greatest strength throughout tsats is that he is mortal. He is powerful because he is human. He does all the things he does the way he does them because he is human. He is something beyond the gods' understanding because he is mortal- and that's all just swept under the rug for…? Honestly i have no idea why it makes no sense how that is a constant theme in this book yet it feels like the book falls constantly short of actually grasping that concept.

- And if you're wondering what the plot symbolism of Will being involved in all this is? I dont fucking know he doesnt have one he was kind of just dead weight the entire story!!! He was basically there just to help Nico pick some fruit and have dialogue with. I feel like Will was potentially supposed to represent how the "average person" would feel on this adventure but personally I feel if that is the case that I may be one of the worst people to understand that perspective as I have a peculiar and poetic love for death and dying.

- Plus when they're wandering through Tartarus's digestive tract (if you're reading this and you haven't read the novel yet or you didn't yet finish it, yes this is a thing that actually happens) and Will starts struggling with his memory, I would have loved to see the effects of that situation on Nico explored more as I would assume amnesia and people forgetting about him/leaving him would be a very difficult thing for him to deal with yet instead we're just told they passed stories back and forth and that made everything all right + not sharing much of those stories with the audience was again a missed character building moment for Will and a missed relationship building moment between them!!

- Them cuddling in the hut together and Nico wanting to wake Will up to share his nightmare was kind of cute though I will admit to that much

- I also hate how they put all this time and work into saving Bob and then Bob just fucks off into the sunset like everything is normal?? He just fucking dips like nothing even happened??

- Also people have been saying Will kissing Nico when he found out Jason was dead was wrong, and look idk if I'm personally going to go that far but I do think as a first kiss it's definitely weird than cute?

- I think Will's background and childhood could have been expanded on a lot more to make him an interesting character- we learn some about his life with Naomi before camp (and its nice to see her as a complete person and I think she has cool mom vibes for real) but I feel like the only adventure we get to hear about is him and his mom being in New York for concerts… what about other places around the country? what about the life he had with her when she wasn't touring?

- Along this same vein I feel like Will's behavior in the story not only doesn't match his behavior from the previous appearances he's made, but that for someone who seems to have spent a lot of time on the road getting to experience lots of different places (even if it was just the US, that's still pretty significant) I once again truly cannot understand his weird behavior about dead people and the underworld- its not only inconsistent with previous behaviors and beliefs he's exhibited but if he's been show so much diversity from a very young age he's probably naturally curious and inquisitive as well as naturally adventurous and outgoing- yet instead he basically just sticks his nose up at everything underworld-ish?? It not only weakens the plot, his character, and his relationship it also makes no sense with previous set ups AND it has no true culmination by the end of the story because we never truly see him accept or enjoy the underworld and what it has to offer he merely endures it.. so again, what was the point of him acting like that?

- Unpopular one: coco puffs are very cute but i find them unnecessary and completely over the top even for pjo and i can see them becoming annoying later on but that's just me personally.

Okay, I'm going to call it quits here. There's probably more I'll think to say later on but I feel this is a good summary of my initial thoughts. Weirdly enough, despite the negativity here, I would still recommend people read this book? I feel conflicted about whether or not the book belongs among my favorites, and it would certainly be the worst book among my favorites and/or recommendations for novels if I do end up feeling it belongs there. I have to say even despite as much as this book fails, I admire what it was attempting and I think like so many works in pjo before it there was a level of unrealized potential here amongst the text that will always be mildly infuriating. I feel very strongly that this book is a whole new era in Riordan's pjo verse, despite some aspects being "cringe" or some things being literary flops and emotional failures in my opinion, i do think this novel may be one of the most "mature" pieces in Riordan's collection- even in his and Oshiro's failure to bring MOST of their narrative full circle or to tie up their loose ends I can see what they're going for and I think having a taste of that potential really did something for me. I have read lots of books that leave me staring at the ceiling for hours in wonder and awe with a feeling i cannot describe as anything other than a "readers hangover" a desire to hold onto that book and to keep it beside me for a long time just to remember reading it, and I would pick it up many times through the following week or two just to rediscover certain parts, i have to say this book has definitely not been that. However I did spend a long time looking at the ceiling pondering it, and I do think I will reread it in the next week or so- but I have less a desire to return to the events of the novel and more a desire to simply upturn more stones in the landscape and find what I am missing. I want to say I hate the book, that it has no redeeming qualities, that everyone should simply leave it behind because of how awful and excruciating I found this novel- that wouldn't be accurate. I think this is the greatest book I have ever had the misfortune to read, I have never cared so deeply for a book I cannot stand. I absolutely adore this awful thing. I feel comfortable saying that for me, personally, percy jackson will never be the same again and that this book has completely changed the field and depth of my experience. I am literally failing to put into words how this book makes me feel. I suppose this book is my most wretched child and I shall cherish it dearly.

[captainsolocide]

solo talks about cbs elementary part 1

okay so yesterday I made post wondering if anyone would be interesting in hearing my cbs elementary thoughts. in the tags of that post I threatened said that one note was all it took to make this (a fleshed out series? of posts detailing pretty much everything I've ever thought about this show) happen, and for better or worse, I got that note, so instead of studying for one of my two midterms I have next week, I started this!

I am currently in the first half of season 4 but I started recording my thoughts from the very beginning. unfortunately they are very disorganized, so at least until I get to where I am currently watching I think I'm going to group these by multiple episodes. This section covers about the first half of season one

Since I've watched past the episodes I'll be talking about at first, I thought I would also add commentary if I have any hindsight to add to any of them. Any future knowledge commentary will prefaced as such.

Enjoy! and don't be afraid to leave your own thoughts if you feel so inclined, even if you completely disagree. I am insane about them so I am always ready to discuss :)

the good:

Holmes getting weird with his investigating (i.e. sniffing the walls, crawling around on the floor, licking things, etc.). It is very important to me that Holmes is, at the end of the day, a weird little guy

bitchy Holmes! Also very important to me! This also ties in with Holmes having emotions, but basically I just want Holmes to be written like the drama queen he is. (future solo thought: Elementary and JLM consistently do a good job of portraying him as such)

Avoidance of both teh stupid Watson and angry Watson trope. At this point, that's perfection

Holmes hates rich people! (future solo thought: I did not realize just how much copaganda there is in this how. it's very difficult to portray some of his more left-leaning ideals in shows like this, so I'm honestly glad for whatever scraps we can get)

I think Holmes having tattoos is a good call for a modernized version of him

crediting Watson with helping even when she hasn't done anything — this is something ACD!Holmes does as well and I think it's really funny (of course we know that Watson actually does help, just not always in obvious ways — sometimes even she's confused when Holmes thanks her, it's just funny the way he does this because he very rarely elaborates)

Encouraging Watson to make her own deductions (future solo thought: at this point in my watching this I didn't realize they were going to make Watson a detective in her own right, so this goes double now)

Telling Watson that she's necessary to his process fairly early into their relationship — we love codependent besties <3

Watson as a puzzle — not everyone likes this read of their relationship, but personally I love it

"WATSON!!!" — when Holmes yells her name like this I cannot help but be reminded of Jeremy Brett which can only do good things for my opinion of JLM's version

Holmes having daddy issues is always fun to explore, not mad at all if they decide to do more with this (future solo thought: I was very correct in this lmao)

Holmes just 🧍‍♂️-ing next to Watson's bed to wake her up occasionally. Again, reminds me of Brett, and it's objectively funny

"My dear Watson," I love this sentiment in the books when Holmes was saying this every other sentence, so seeing him say that at a time where it's not as common. It means a lot. To me.

Holmes' reaction to Watson calling herself his friend 🥹🥹

CIGARETTE ASH MONOGRAPH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

Okay. This one needs some explaining. Holmes starts out misogynistic does go in the good BECAUSE I think his growth through that can be a really interesting and important thing to watch — it shows that even the smartest of us can hold unconscious biases that we need to do work to undo

the bad

The reworking of Watson's backstory — not all of this is bad, in fact some of it was necessary to distinguish Joan as her own character, but I do resent how Watson's tragic backstory in this meant that her doctor title is not used, and I feel like taking away Watson's injuries was missed opportunity as well

no live-in Mrs. Hudson = Watson getting relegated to house keeper duties, something that character does not do in the books. wonder what the difference is here? (future solo thought: this was a bigger issue in season one, I think. as far as I can tell, there seems to be a more even sharing of household chores as their relationship develops more, but my point for early season one stands)

Copaganda. It's lame and not in line with Holmes' characterization if you think about it for more than two seconds. I understand he works with them sometimes, but the amount of respect they have Holmes have for the police is disgusting. there have been several episodes I could barely finish because it was just so so bad

Holmes called Freud a genius in season one. girl.

[waitingforeddyneddy]

Lmao I looked at the comments under my Reddit anon post. And I just wanted to respond because, lol I wasted two years?? Where?? Check my Reddit history lmfao. The last year I haven’t even been active in the Kate/anthony subs! Plus posting a comment takes all of, what, 10 seconds? I don’t live online like some people.

I said a lot of nice things about Simone that people overlook because I said I thought it was weird she wasn’t booking quickly, good lord. As for liking Siena? J did like her in s1, but I have plenty of comments stating I wouldn’t want her back for 3. I think the actress who played her did a good job 🥴. I’m not a fan of either of them, as in, I don’t follow their careers and only know about what’s posted on fauxmoi or something like that. Do I HAVE to be a super fan of Simone? Some of you guys hate JB but know his entire schedule.

As for Cynthia, what have I said about her? lol I don’t really know anything about her other than she can sing. She also had her own affair scandal, but I know little of it. She DOES have haters because, if I recall correctly, she said something off about American black women years ago. That would be something for you all to research, if you cared, which I’m sure many of you don’t. I, actually, recently spoke about how I hated how interviewers don’t being her UP when speaking about wicked.

And well, as for Ariana, yeah, I don’t like her. She sucks. And anyone who thinks she doesn’t is weird??? She literally just helped break up two marriages tf??

Also I never said JB carried the show on his back. I said I preferred his performance and I thought he was great. And I said Simone did a good job. Again, why do we have to be fans of both? You guys aren’t fans of him and I honestly am ok with that lol. My Reddit history is there for all to see, it’s strange to see people just make shit up. And yes, I am a woman for those stalking me and wondering lol.

I don’t really get why people in this fandom can’t disagree in a normal way. Not everyone will like what other people like.

listen I haven't been on reddit for many months and I don't remember having beef with a particular person because I was disgusted by pretty much the majority of people. I think I only visited BridgertonNetflix and I couldn't believe my eyes that there were so many gaslighters in the fandom who would say that we imagined Kanthony being done dirty or that downplayed what happened regarding Simone. I can't honestly say that I ever came across one of your comments so I really don't know what to think on this matter. I agree with you saying that people have to learn how to disagree politely. I appreciate you coming into my inbox with manners and for being honest about your declining interest in JB, my blog is a place to rant after all and as long as it's done on my terms, everyone is welcome, even JB fans or former JB fans.

on another note I don't want to downplay JB's talent as an actor because as much as I don't like him I can admit he's good at his job, but I think it would be fair to say that he was able to shine more because the script allowed so. What did Simone have by the scripts? Crying in rooms alone and being in a coma for the majority of the last episode? Let's remember she wasn't the sister with the central episode about her even tho it was supposed to be ALSO her story

[elminx]

Spell Walkthrough: Protections and Abundance Magic for an Art Show

I wanted to walk y'all through the practical magic steps that I took before, during, and after the art show that I participated in this Fall. But before I begin, I have a few notes: I am not looking for any critiques here - if you disagree with my methodology, please just keep it to yourself. This magic was highly successful and did exactly as I intended it to. Secondly, all of this magic is done. My spells are complete. The artwork has been made and hung, bought and sold, and the show has been taken down in its entirety. No more money will change hands. That is why I am choosing to share this - do not share your work until it is complete.

This summer, I was invited to take part in a group art show with eleven other artists. It was a great opportunity - both to show my art and to do some practical magic to protect, support, and enhance our art.

I chose to do these workings for a number of reasons. For one thing, art shows successes depend on people showing up and viewing the art, so I knew that I wanted to do work that would promote and draw in people to our show - both people with an eye for enjoying art and people who like to buy art. Additionally, I have had some problems in the past with a witch that I know IRL doing workings specifically against my art business (I assume out of jealousy?) and I knew that I need to protect the show from her gaze and general influence.

I've broken the steps that I took into six parts, each part was a working in and of itself even if it involved other parts of the whole.

A note on materials: For privacy reasons, I'm not going to share every item that I used in the making of these spells. What I will tell you is that other than the alfalfa which somebody happened to gift me with recently, every other herb could have come out of my kitchen cabinet or my tiny garden. I used a half-pint ball jar as a base and the candles that I had on hand. My point here is in showing you that you can do everyday magic with things that you probably already have in your house.

The Sweetening Jar

The goal of my sweetening jar was both to sweeten the artists to each other (to smooth over situations that might arise in planning the show, etc.) and to sweeten our potential audience to us. For taglocks, I used the first and last names of all artists involved as they had said that they wanted them printed on our art fliers, the full name of the show, and the hashtag (#) that we chose to promote the show with. This was a jar spell that needed to work fast, so I used a spiced rum that I enjoy as a base - I added in sugar for more quick luck and honey because it would help to draw and entice people to our show. I also added a few prosperity herbs (cinnamon, basil, alfalfa) that I would continue to use throughout my rituals ahead, some base protection, something extra special to help return any negativity back at its sender, and catnip. I also included a strong sigil that I use to protect against the evil eye.

2. The Protections

My first goal after building the jar was to reinforce the protection component that I had just cast upon it. For this purpose, I burned a black protection candle carved with a particular sigil over the jar while focusing and chanting protective chants. As you can tell by the photo, this wasn't a protection that needed to last for a long time (really about a month and a half from when this was cast), so I didn't go all out - a chime candle was fine for the purposes of this spell.

3. Abundance

Now that I had protected the jar, I wanted to reinforce the abundance elements that I had also included so I burned a money candle over the jar. I included the initial money-boosting herbs mentioned early and a sigil that I use specifically in my prosperity workings.

4. Image Protection

My second goal was to protect the images of my art that were going to be hanging in the show. I printed a copy of each piece of art and marked it with two protective sigils that I use with great frequency. I let them charge under the sweetening jar during step 3 and then sealed them into a black envelope that I adhered to the inside of my junk journal. I used sigils and other symbols of power as well as some clever journaling techniques to further obscure the envelope from view. While doing this I focused specifically on hiding these images from the views of people who did not wish me well, were jealous of me, or would otherwise do something to sabotage the show.

5. The Trap

A day after I sealed the images that I thought I was going to use in the show, I changed my mind so I now had an image that I would want to share on social media that I did not want to be used against me by somebody who wished ill for me about this show. I decided to use that piece as a trap - weaving a defensive spell to get somebody who felt intense jealousy over my successes wrapped up in their own shit so that they could not use it against me. I cannot explain how I did this any further.

6. Success

Lastly, a few nights before the opening of the show, I built what I would call a Success/Money bowl for our show. I used the same types of ingredients that went into the sweetening jar but also included things meant to grab the eye (gold glass glitter) and orange and sunflower for happiness and success. By now I had the fliers for the show so I used that as the main taglock for the spell. I charged the bowl with a yellow beeswax candle and kept the sweetening jar in the bowl for the entire duration of the show, working it daily.

Final Thoughts: This sequence of spells worked really well. I think that it worked well to tie them all to one object (the sweetening jar that I made as the first step in these workings). Our show was widely received, well attended, and every artist at the show made their money back or more. Additionally, despite the twelve of us having to work closely to make this happen; there was very little drama or stress.

I honestly wish that I had done more, not less. My intention when I started working these items at the end of August was to work on them weekly, if not daily, but I was waylaid pretty significantly by the worst bout of depression that I've had in years and I had to spend a lot of my time managing that instead of doing magic.

It all worked out, though.

[the-somwthing]

Here we go, every episode of the Life Series, in order, organized, with context for who is/isn’t present or has an episode, and spoiler prevention measures.

Have you been meaning to get into the Life Series, but you’re not sure how? Wanna watch one of my favorite YouTube series? Heard about this series and wanna see what the hype is about? This doc is for you!

Basic instructions on how the doc works are inside the doc, so read through that and you’re all set! But if you’re confused or want a little more information on WHY I’m doing it this way or anything like that, read below the cut!

ALSO, PLEASE, I REQUEST NO SPOILERS IN THE NOTES. I understand many people who want to get into the series already know some spoilers but I want this post to be as spoiler free as possible since it’s meant to help new viewers.

First of all, I’m so sorry if the doc looks atrocious on desktop, I use mobile 99% of the time and have no idea what anything looks like on desktop.

So! I’ll admit to you dear viewer, my method of how you should watch the series is… not a common one that people recommend. BUT I firmly believe this is just because a tool like this doc didn’t exist, and now it does! And also that they didn’t really think about it.

Normally one suggests watching one person’s POV all the way through, episode one to the finale, and then check out others. I HIGHLY disagree, for you miss out on SO MUCH context, and you’ll likely have a harder time remembering when certain events occurred in relation to each other. I only recommend watching someone’s POV all the way through like that if you’re doing a rewatch, or wanting to see their POV after already watching the season from others’ POVs.

So what do I think you should do, then? Go session to session. Pick people you want to watch. Let’s say for example you’ve decided you want to watch Grian, BigB, and Martyn. Go to the Session 1 section and watch their episodes from that section. Do not move on to session 2 until you have done that. Once you’ve watched them, think about if there’s anything you noticed from that session that made you want to watch someone else’s perspective. Did you see someone die in the chat and want to know what happened to them? Were they acting weird and you want to know why? Watch their episode for that session! Once you feel satisfied with your knowledge on what happened during that session, you may move on to the next, and repeat the process.

THE REASON I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD DO THIS is, other than what I said about the main method people suggest making it more confusing, that this is the closest way to replicate watching the series live. Once a week everyone would release an episode, and we fans would watch as many as we were interested in, until the next session finally came out. This allowed us to have a better understanding of events, characters, and see things we may have missed otherwise!

A problem with watching only one perspective is that they will sometimes leave things out of their perspective to encourage you to watch another one. If you don’t, you’re just confused. Some POVs also leave out important events such as deaths to encourage you to watch other POVs, and also not spoil you on the other POVs (in my personal opinion this makes them excellent first POVs if you’re planning on also watching others, the two I can think of off the top of my head that do this most often are Scar and Bdubs).

BUT WAIT POPPY, you say! WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO WATCH THAT MANY POVs?! Well, my first answer is that you may do whatever you wish, I’m only trying to provide you with the most engaging ways to watch this series, you don’t have to follow through if you don’t want to. BUT MY OTHER ANSWER IS, watch with friends!!!

Watching with friends is another way to replicate watching the series live. Between sessions, the fandom would discuss the events that occurred, so even if you didn’t watch someone’s POV you would’ve maybe known what happened in it. I’ve watched every single season live, but I did so with my sister. Basically, we would each pick a main POV, watch it through, then discuss with each other what happened. So I would know all about what happened to the players she watched despite not seeing it myself! It gives you more context and encourages discussion between fans.

So, my advice is, if you have friends who want to watch with you (they could be new to the series or just in it for a rewatch), each of you pick a different POV. For the most possible coverage, pick opposing players, but if the two of you are watching allies that’s fine too, they’ll still have different things happen to them, and you’ll be an expert on that alliance lol. Watch your respective episodes at the same time, then once you’re done, discuss with each other what happened. Talk about your favorite bits, ask the other if they know what happened with something that confused you, etc! Then once you’re satisfied with that session, move on to the next and repeat!

And of course you could both (or all, if there’s more of you) watch more than one POV. And once you’re done discussing with each other, you can watch more POVs from the same session (you’ll typically feel more like you want to after discussing things lol). Do what you want. If you don’t want spoilers but you’re getting a friend who is already a fan to watch with you, then try asking them not to spoil. If you DO want them to spoil it, ask them to >:). YOU’re the friends, not me!!

BUT POPPY WHAT IF I DONT HAVE FRIENDS??? You ask. Well yeah that’s what the entire rest of this post is about. You can watch the POVs on your own without discussing it with others.

SO LET’S GET MORE INSTRUCTIVE WITH IT!

I highly HIGHLY recommend you select a “main POV”. This is someone you will watch every single episode from. I feel like it’s important to have an “anchor” when diving into all of this, and your main will be your anchor. You can change your main at any point, but just try to make sure you’re not mindlessly hopping around POVs, otherwise unless you are watching every single one (or just a lot of them) you might miss something, and that something could be important.

IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE “SPOILER PREVENTION MEASURES”

They’re not the most solid. Basically, whenever a player is out of the series, I will leave a random link in place of their episode for the sessions they missed due to being dead. This way, when scrolling through the list of episodes, you don’t see exactly how many people are dead by each session and when they get out.

There are a few problems with this which is why I have instructions. First problem, which is admittedly entirely my fault, is that some of the fake links have spoilers. Yeah, a spoiler prevention measure with spoilers. This is because I wanted the videos I linked to be relevant to the life series, and a lot of things have spoilers!! There might even be spoilers for other seasons? Though I tried to avoid that, to be safe you should still avoid clicking the fake links until you are totally caught up on the series.

This is why I recommend you have a main, and also try to watch multiple POVs. If you have a main you’ll know exactly when they die, or their allies or enemies, so you’ll know not to click their link for next session. And by watching multiple POVs, you can make sure you didn’t miss anything that your main left out, such as someone being eliminated. PLUS, if you make sure you always watch your main first, then you’ll see if someone’s not there even if you didn’t notice they were eliminated in the previous session, so you’ll know that their episode that session is a fake link (and if you’re not sure, just check their previous session’s episode and see if they died). Basically, having a main is good so that you don’t accidentally start with a fake link, which you might do if you’re just watching one random person each session without having any consistency.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HAVING MAINS. If they don’t have an episode for the session you’re about to watch, DO NOT SKIP THE SESSION, you should instead watch their closest ally’s POV as a replacement (sorry if they don’t have any allies, just pick someone). ESPECIALLY if it says that your main is present in the session but doesn’t have an episode. You’ll want to know what happened to them! Even if they have a recap in the next session’s episode, they’re not typically very descriptive recaps and you’re also not guaranteed to get one. Basically, just… never skip a session, even if your main isn’t in it. Sometimes players miss out on the most wild sessions imaginable and you don’t wanna miss it too!

I err uhh blanked out and forgor what else to write here 💀 I’ll edit this later (my favorite part of read mores is that if you edit something with a readmore then it’ll still show up on every reblog!) I just wanna get it posted now.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, feel free to send an ask! If you prefer you can ask in the notes IF ITS NOT SPOILERY, if it’s spoilery please take it to my inbox, like I said I want this post to be as spoiler free as possible.

[jojotichakorn]

For the ship ask game - kanthua The Eclipse and jimwen Moonlight Chicken :)

👀 considering our conversation about moonlight chicken, i feel like you are trying to expose me KLDFGJLKDFGJFDKJG still thanks for sending these in tho 🤍

kanthua

do i ship them, and why? big time yes!! thua is my favourite character from the eclipse, and neo always puts his entire actussy into bringing any character that he's given to life. thua and kan's respective arcs intertwine really beautifully as well, like they just Make Sense. and when their lips briefly touching makes all your insides do cartwheels in a way that few actual kissed have done, you know it's Serious.

canon potential: they are fully canon and i have absolutely zero notes in terms of how it actually happened. kan's mixed signals, thua's complex feelings about their dynamic and how he's meant to act, the whole bruce wayne thing, the way that any of kan's fears are forgotten when he gets protective or jealous, the fact that they get together after kan makes that leap and goes to the protest, etc. etc. and i really love the scene where they get together, because kan acknowledges where he fucked up. 11/10 canon dynamic.

opinions on fandom opinions: there's a lot of clownery at thua in general, i think, but in terms of the couple, i'm chill with everyone's headcanons about those two.

jimwen

do i ship them, and why? how shall i describe this... i don't ship them and don't not ship them, i'm just kinda 🤷‍♂️ ykniwm. just 🤷‍♂️.

canon potential: what can i say, i'm just not the biggest fan of this specific dynamic, where there are certain boundaries established and then the main character goes on trying to cross them. like i know, i know, the boundaries are there for a sad reason and everything ends well, but whenever the message does end up being "sometimes, not listening to what the other person says they want and don't want is the way to go", i'm like "huh?" 😭 also, the fact that they are trying to convince me that the age difference between them creates that big of a disparity, especially when 1) mix and earth look pretty much the same age, and 2) neither of them looks the age they are supposed to be in the series, it just does not land for me. i'm also not the biggest fan of the generation gap as a sweeping statement either, especially when we are talking about marginalised people, who often fall out of those typical patterns because they are directly negatively impacted by lack of progress. and, don't get me wrong, there is some truth to the problem of fathers and sons absolutely, shout out to turgenev, he's my man, but it's not that simple.

opinions on fandom opinions: i have not dived into the side of the fandom that's into the series at all, because - aside from heart and liming - i did not really like it. so can't really say what i agree or disagree with.

send me a ship, and i will tell you why and how i ship them

(list of dramas i've seen)